#And I can't complain about it with anyone because my parents both come to his defense

[eitaababe]

KISS IT BETTER !

ao'nung x metkayina reader.

a/n — sorry guys it's been a reallyyy rough past few days some shit has gone down but here's a lil drabble while i finish a fic 🫶 / also they're like 18 in this for sake of plot !

—

To say you and Ao'nung didn't get along would be an understatement.

You two always argued, no matter how little or how big. From the way your hair was done, to who couldn't hold their breath as long, who was better on an ilu, you name it.

Though, despite you not being able to see eye to eye with him, you were always close with his younger sister. You were attached to the hip ever since children, and you spent practically your whole lives with each other, pretty much growing up together. You also grew close with her family, spending many dinners over at her marui.

So of course, you always had to see her brother.

Tsireya wasn't blind. Pretty much anyone could see the way you two acted around each other. And if they couldn't see it, they could certainly hear it. There wasn't a minute you could be in the same vicinity as each other and not throw insults at each other.

However, nobody really knows how or why you're like that. It's almost as if you were born into the world and just decided to hate each other.

And so you're sitting in between Tsireya's legs, her doing a new hairstyle for your hair and you whining about her brother once more. "I just don't get it," you complained, huffing in annoyance. "He really thinks he can insult me with a face like that! 'You'll never be able to get a boyfriend looking like that, y/n'," you gruffly mimicked, inaccurately impersonating his voice. "As if he's any better! Like you're the one who can't keep a girlfriend. He's projecting, I'm telling you."

Pulling extra tight on a certain braid you yelped, glaring over your shoulder. "Y/n, you seriously have a problem," Tsireya stated, sighing. "I mean if you really hate my brother so much, just don't talk to him. You both are around each other a lot for people who claim to hate each other so much."

"It's not my fault!" You quickly replied. "I swear, he's everywhere. I want to go clear my mind and go for a swim? He's already there. I want to feed the ilus? Apparently he was planning on going on a ride. I want to stop by and have dinner with my best friend? He-"

"Lives there, Y/n. He lives there," Tsireya finished for you. "I'm just saying. He may be my brother, but if he pisses you off that much you don't have to talk to him. He's good at riling people up. Especially you." She commented, finishing your hair and patting your shoulder lightly for you to turn around.

"He could piss anyone off with the things he says," You grumbled, shoulders drooping when you fell under Tsireya's disapproving gaze. "Fine. I'll try to not let him get to me. Starting now."

"Oh that's lovely, because he's right behind you."

"What-"

"Hi sister," he paused, eyes glancing to you in distaste. "Y/n."

"Ao'nung." You acknowledged him blandly, trying to take your friend's advice and not be disturbed by his mere presence.

"Mother wants you home for dinner," He continued, letting out a sigh before going on. "They invited you too." He finished, not sparring a glance your way before turning around and walking back.

"That went better than expected." Tsireya grinned, grabbing your arm and taking you to her own marui.

"Wait until dinner."

Dinner was going better than expected. You and Ao'nung hadn't argued yet, considering you chose to ignore him and he did the same. Your parents had joined the dinner as well, so you had no other choice but to be respectful.

Your calm nature soon disappeared as you heard the words coming from your parents mouths.

"What?" You exclaimed in disbelief, Tsireya sitting next to you with a shocked expression.

"Really, we think it's for the best."

"No offense or anything, but have you met Ao'nung? I can barely stay in the same room with him, nevertheless spend the rest of my life with him!" You complained, ignoring the stern looks from your parents. "It won't work. Me and Ao'nung, we don't work well together."

"For once, I agree." The boy finally spoke, not looking up from the table.

"Y/n, Ao'nung, I know this is unexpected, but we've all talked about it. You would make a great mate for Ao'nung. We'd like you two to be mated soon before Ao'nung chooses a girl us or the clan would not approve of."

You noticed how his jaw clenched at the comment, yet he stayed silent. You closed your eyes, trying to accept your fate. When you both fell silent, everyone got up and started to exit the room. "We'll give you two some privacy."

You watched as they all left out the marui, turning towards the male. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"It's my mother, I doubt anything I would've said would have made a difference."

"Of course it would! You're her son!"

"You're just so stubborn, aren't you?" Ao'nung suddenly shouted, standing up now. "Thinking you can have everything your way? We have duties, y/n. Grow up."

"Clearly, I'm the only one who's thinking rationally right now! How can you be willing to spend the rest of your life with someone you can't stand?"

"Well like it or not, it's happening. Deal with it, because you're not going to change our parents' minds."

"I can't believe you," you scoffed. "I hope they don't expect me to love you. I can't see who would." You walked out furiously, stomping back towards your own marui.

"Oh, you're one to talk!"

The next few days you two kept your separate ways, but both of you knew your parents wouldn't let it stay like that. They'd practically set up a date for you guys, claiming it's so you could 'settle the feud'.

So you woke up, already in a bad mood, putting minimal effort into getting ready. You headed outside your marui, grumbling what sounded like a farewell to your parents, blood boiling at the sight of the boy who was waiting for you on the beach.

"Y/n." He gruffly greeted you, not meeting your eye.

"Ao'nung." You acknowledged him back, mind drifting back to the other night. Were you too harsh with your words? It was possible you could've gotten caught up in the heat of the moment, and if you were forced to spent the rest of your life with him, you should at least try to be civil.

"...how are you?" You inwardly cringed at yourself, making an awkward attempt to make conversation.

He sent a questioning look your way, realizing what you were doing. He almost wanted to laugh at how out of place you looked. He decided to play along, for whatever reason. "Okay. You?"

"I'm good."

The both of you didn't talk much for the rest of the day, but you didn't argue either, so maybe you were showing signs of improvement. You walked along the beach quietly, the occasional tight-lipped smile, or a hum in response to one of your or his attempts to make some small talk.

Your hangouts usually went like that, you'd greet each other and walk, tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. You were too scared to say anything about it, or change the newly made routine, until Ao'nung seemingly had enough.

"Y/n," he sighed out tiredly, stopping and turning to face you fully. "This isn't helping us at all. All we're trying to do is not argue every time we're around each other. We're not fixing anything, hell, we're probably making it worse. Even if we can't love each other, shouldn't we be able to get to know one another?"

You stood silent for a moment, considering his offer. "I hate it when you're right," you deadpanned, dropping the 'nice' act. "It's just so irregular. Why would I want to be stuck with you?"

"Cmon, I struck peace and you're insulting me?" He teased, flashing a rare grin to you.

"Stop smiling, people are gonna start thinking you want to be around me." You told him, walking off.

Ao'nung went after you, chuckling to himself. "I won't make it a habit then!"

To everyone's surprise, you were finally starting to get along. You acted like friends, even if neither of you would necessarily admit it. You were spending your time with Tsireya, deeming you'd spent too much time with her brother.

"I can't believe I actually saw you smiling in the vicinity of Ao'nung." She teased, laughing once you rolled your eyes.

"Oh shut up. We're basically going to be with each other for eternity, we had to stop hating each other at some point."

"He was talking about you the other day at dinner, actually. If I didn't know any better I'd say he's taken a liking to you."

"Absolutely not!" You denied, shaking your head. "We're not like that. Like at all. We're just friends now, okay? We don't see each other that way."

"Whatever you say."

What the two of you didn't notice, however, was that the boy heard the two of you talking, heart slightly sinking. Could you really not tell how he felt?

And oddly enough, he felt even more determined to prove how he did.

To your shock, Ao'nung started making advances towards you during your scheduled hang outs. They were subtle, but you noticed the slight flirting, or how his touch would linger on you longer than usual.

You didn't think much of it however, considering you just went from enemies to friends in the span of maybe two weeks. You were right to do so, when you spotted him with another girl one day.

When you first saw them, you really could've cared less. Ao'nung was popular, and knew many people. If he had friends who were girls, it didn't matter. Everyone knew you were each others promised mates, and the word quickly spread since people knew of your dislike for each other.

You trusted Ao'nung, he was not only your betrothed but your duties were to each other, and he wasn't dumb enough to try and change that.

At least you thought.

Their second interaction, you saw the same girl, Mau. She was a sweet girl, you knew her through Tsireya. You watched quietly from afar as the two talked animatedly, large smiles and their laughter heard from where you stood. You hid behind a smaller palm tree, it's leaves shielding you from their view.

You couldn't quite hear what their conversation was, so you settled for just watching. You were shocked when she pressed a kiss to his cheek, and how he turned purple in response. You denied how you felt your heart drop to your stomach, and deemed that their conversation should be private and hurried to leave.

In the midst of rushing out you accidentally walked right into one of the leaves, your lip getting cut in the process. "Oh, fuck." You cursed underneath your breath, hoping no one could see you leave. You sprinted away to another part of the beach, moving over to the marui near the ilus.

Ao'nung squinted his eyes at the sight of someone running away, thinking it oddly resembled you. A wave of adrenaline quickly hit him when he realized you might have seen Mau, and he jumped up in panic. "I'm so sorry, I have to go." He excused himself, rushing after you.

He found you with the ilus, smiling when he heard you talking nonsense to them. He cleared his throat, "You seriously have got to make some new friends."

You froze at his voice, almost turning around but realizing he'd see the wound on your lip. You stayed in place, back turned to him as you kept feeding the creatures. "Don't be salty I have more friends than you, even if they can't talk."

"In your dreams, hun," He teased, sitting down next to you, confused when you turned away from him. Concerned, and a little scared you saw his previous interaction, his head followed yours, trying to meet your eyes. "What's wrong?"

You pursed your lips, turning around and eyes widening when you realized how close his face was to yours. Afraid of talking and showing him your cut you only shrugged, shaking your head.

"Why are you holding your lips like that?" He questioned, making you hot with panic. "It makes you look even more stupid."

"Oh just shut up." You mumbled, figuring there was no way out of this. You lowered your head, but not before he could see your wound.

"What happened?"

You really just wanted to let the ocean swallow you whole.

"I ran into a tree."

"While eavesdropping?" He laughed, seeing the way your head quickly perked up, the caught look on your face.

"I didn't- I mean-"

"Oh don't worry, I know you were just questioning my loyalty. I mean with a face like this, there's loads of girls after me. Had to break many hearts knowing I was promised to you."

"Keep telling yourself that. And if I was testing your loyalty, you definitely failed. Not that I mind, but who lets other girls kiss them when they're promised to someone else?"

"If you're jealous, just say that," he simply shrugged, smirking at you. "I turned Mau down, by the way. Told her I was already to be mated with another."

"Oh," you couldn't help but let out a breath of relief. "Your parents will be happy to hear that."

Rolling his eyes at your ability to not take a hint, he only sighed. "Yeah, sure."

Ao'nung then refocused on your lips, looking at the cut. "You know, we should really do something about that."

"It doesn't hurt that much."

"You should let me kiss it better."

"What?" You exclaimed, looking at him incredulously.

"You heard me."

Not bothering to hear your response his lips pressed against yours gently, in fear of making the cut any worse. His hand came to rest against your jaw as his lips moved slowly. You felt him smile against you before he quickly pecked your lips again, pulling away with a smug look. "Feel any better?"

"I'm not sure, you might have to kiss it better again."

—

a/n — I FINALLY POSTED AGAIN. WRITERS BLOCK IS A BITCH.

#aonung fluff #aonung angst #avatar x reader #avatar #ao'nung #aonung x reader #ao'nung x y/n #ao'nung x reader #ao'nung x you #avatar fluff #aonung #avatar imagine #avatar angst #avatar fic #i'm sorry if this is dogshit #i'm going through a slump #like i couldn't WRITE

[lovelybrooke]

I don't suppose you wanna do an isekai reader for jjk too? I /loved/ the one you did for one piece and would love to see your take on it with jjk characters too!

I swear, some of you read my mind. I wanted to write for Isekai reader but didn't know if anyone would want to read it, since people mostly seem to want to read The Last of Us stuff (I'm not complaining, I love your support). Though, I couldn't resist writing my thoughts below. I would love to write more of this, so feel free to request.

The reader being transported to the world of Jujutsu Kaisen would be fundamentally different than let's say, One Piece or Genshin Impact since the world of Jujutsu Kaisen is mostly the same to modern day Japan, minus the curses. So, when the reader gets transported there, they're not really going to know the difference until they see one of the characters.

The smartest decision in this case would to be to avoid them at all costs, since it's likely that if you mingle with their affairs, you could end up in big trouble. This would work for a while, since I don't imagine you would have high curse energy due to the fact that you're from another world.

However, your presence alone raises suspicion, as some sorcerers are able to tell that you just don't belong. Like I said however, you're able to mask it easily, playing off your aloof and strange behavior as due to the fact that you're a foreigner.

Gojo is definitely the first one you officially meet, him befriending you because he finds you interesting. It isn't until a few weeks of knowing you that he starts to pick up on how weird your presence is.

He starts to think you're some weirdo kid, because when he investigates you, he can't seem to find anything about you. No parents, no friends, no education. It like you just appeared out of nowhere. He knows you can't be a curse, so who are you. He struggles for a while before just asking you.

Gojo doesn't believe you when you explain your situation. Though, it wouldn't be the weirdest thing in the world. He's surprised that a world without curses exists, but kind of disappointed that it's fundamentally the same to his world. Gojo wants to believe you're crazy but can't really come up with a better explanation for why you irk him so much. You choose not to tell Gojo about the fact that you knew him already, or the fact that you knew him at all, since that would only complicate things.

Gojo agrees to help you find a way back home, his explanation being that he's bored and you're interesting, which doesn't make you feel better about your chances returning home. Gojo's idea of "help" is acclimating you to curses and his job as a sorcerer, since you'd have to get used to it eventually if you plan on being here for a while. He's not all bad, he lets you stay at him home while you find a place to live and work. He's not always around, his teaching position taking up most of his time.

When he is with you, he goofs around a lot, gossiping about his students with you. Your time with him allows you both to build a nice friendship, Gojo happy that there's someone who actually likes him, even if it's because you've never seen someone as strong as him. He likes how carefree of a kid you are, gleefully unaware of the dangers of this world.

Eventually Gojo does introduce you to his students, who absolutely love you. Gojo doesn't lie to them about your situation, telling they straight out that you're from another world. Most of them don't believe him, however some, namely Yuji, want to believe it's real. Yuji is fascinated with the idea of you being some insanely strong Jujutsu sorcerer from another world, even when you tell him that's not the case. Eventually, the others warm up to you and the idea that you come from another world.

The students absolutely love you and encourage you to move into the dorms with them. Gojo is against it, since you technically aren't and a student. It's definitely not because he doesn't want you to move out with him. You also decline, saying you need to find your own place since you're on your own. Gojo knows that isn't happening. You're just a kid, you don't need to live on your own.

You spend a lot of time with the students, mostly the first years, however they all like being with you. Yuji and Nobara love asking you questions about your world, only stopping when Megumi forces them to leave you alone so he can hang out with you in peace. Speaking of Megumi, he doesn't really ever believe that you're from another world, but he can't deny the feeling of pride he gets when you see how strong he is during training.

The second years also love you and are sad they didn't get to meet you sooner. The only one who really believes you is Toge, Panda and Maki both thinking it’s bull. However, they find you interesting, so they don't mind it. The all hate that they can't spend as much time with you, since your closer to the first years, and there definitely a little rivalry between them.

The whole time you're there you haven't really had to deal with any curses, Gojo being there to protect you at all times. However, that doesn't mean they aren't aware of you. Sukuna, sadly, is one of the first curses you meet since Yuji's his vessel. You don't really worry about him, since Yuji has him under control, but you never know how he's feeling, which makes you kind of nervous. You try to avoid talking about your world around Yuji, since you're afraid of how Sukuna might react.

Sukuna himself goes through an emotional roller-coaster when it comes to you. At first, he sees you as nothing as a crazy human who is vessel is obsessed with. However, as Yuji spends more time with you, he starts to warm up to you. You intrigue him, and he eventually starts to view you as his crazy human. If you ever get caught up in battle and Gojo isn't there to protect you, Sukuna is demanding Yuji get you to safety. He denies that he cares about you, but his behavior says it all.

You meet Getou and his followers later, Getou being surprised that Gojo is so obsessed with some week human. I image that he knows about you, stalking you when he's in Tokyo. Like Sukuna, he doesn't really care about you at first, however as he continues to learn about you, he starts to understand why Gojo is so obsessed with you. He sees you as someone who needs protection, and he's the only one who can provide that. You don't see him often, but when you do, he's trying to convince you to leave the sorcerers and gone him, so he can protect you.

When Getou can't watch over you, he's getting one of his lackies to watch you for him. Usually, Mahito watches over you, much to Getou's hatred. Getou knows how spontaneous Mahito is, and so he really dislikes whenever he messes with you. However, Mahito finds you absolutely adorable. You're just some small, defenseless, human who he could destroy in one blow. Not that he would do so! He just finds you so interesting. So many strong sorcerers and curses are obsessed with you, even though you're nothing special. Maybe it's your soul? He doesn't know. He'll have to wait until Getou's ready to take you to find out.

You're never going home. That's for curtain. With the strongest curses and sorcerers obsessed with you, you're never going to get the opportunity. Gojo constantly tries to get you to forget about leaving, claiming that his students would be devastated if you left, which is true. Gojo works with his students to make sure that you never have the opportunity to leave, since one of them are constantly with you. It gets overwhelming; however, they always claim that it's for your protection. Honestly, their possessiveness might just push you towards the curses, though it's not likely since Gojo won't allow it.

A/n: I'm going to scream, Jujutsu Kaisen 0 isn't free on Crunchyroll.

#yandere x reader #platonic yandere #soft yandere #platonic yandere jjk #platonic yandere jujutsu kaisen #yandere jujutsu kaisen #jujustsu kaisen x reader #jjk x reader #yandere jjk #yandere gojo satoru #platonic gojo satoru #yandere yuji #yandere yuji itadori #yandere megumi #yandere nobara

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

Nimona headcanons just cause

Nimona and Ambrosius are both like sentient space heaters 

Nimona runs hotter than the average human being because obvi

But Ambrosius is a whole nother ballpark 

I just know this man hates summer more than the average person

Poor baby is just a miserable sweaty clammy mess and if anyone tries to touch him during summer he threatens to bite them

Nimona and Ambrosius always refuse to let the ac get higher than 60 degrees and Bal suffers 

Bal should be classified as a damn reptile 

Poor baby has terrible circulation

It’s bad enough that Ambrosius has dragged him to the doctor multiple times 

He clings to Ambrosius and Nimona in the winter because this man is constantly freezing 

I just know he’s a damn menace the second it gets a little chilly

This little brat will shove his hands up Ambrosius’ shirt the second he gets home to “warm up”

And he’s got a metal hand so it’s twice as cold

Ambrosius has been woken up from a deep sleep by freezing hands or freezing feet and will whine about how it feels like waking up in an ice bath

One time Ambrosius walked into the living room to find Bal chasing Nimona around while they were screaming “Frosty the snowman is trying to kill me with his icicle hands” 

Ambrosius is weirdly good with all kids he’s been described multiple times as a “natural parent”

Does he like kids…. That’s up for debate 

Like he doesn’t hate them if their parents raised them right but if that kid is a little bully then fuck no he doesn’t like them 

Nimona is also really good with kids 

He’s a little cautious around elementary school kids cause you know trauma and has weird beef with all middle schoolers 

Bal is fucking terrified of babies 

One time someone asked him to hold their baby and then walked off and which sent him into a panic attack 

He’ll go on hour-long rants about how fragile are and how he can’t be trusted with something that can suffocate if you don’t lay them down the wrong way

He’s okay with elementary school kids and doesn’t mind middle schoolers but he has massive issues with highschoolers for some reason 

A high school once asked him to visit and give a talk to the students and Ambrosius had to take his laptop away before he emailed them back saying “I’d rather chop my other arm off”

Honestly I think even though Nimona craves stability she also needs freedom 

So every couple of weeks she’ll go on little solo adventures 

She keeps the boys updated constantly about where she is but she never tells them when she’s coming back because she doesn’t even know 

Most of the time she’ll come back when she wants a homecooked meal (and when she misses the boys)

The boys are pretty used to this routine so they aren’t surprised anymore when they come home to a note saying she’ll be gone for a bit

They also aren't surprised when he climes through their window at 2 in the morning to wake them up and demand food 

Could he make it himself? Absolutely 

Does he want to? Fuck no where’s the fun in that 

Plus he knows no matter how much the boys complain about messed up sleep schedules and how he “gave them a heart attack” they'd rather be woken up in the middle of the night so they can make sure he’s healthy and fed 

When they do come home the boys “force” them into a sleepover in the living room where they eat a stupid amount of junk food and watch old horror movies  

And they call out of work so they can catch up and learn everything that can't fit in a text

#nimona 2023 #nimona movie #nimona headcanon #nimona #ballister boldheart #ambrosius goldenloin #ballister x ambrosius #goldenheart #I am Ambrosius #but I'm also Bal #I have terrible circulation but I also hate summer #summer can suck a dick #Nimona is like a cat #they come and they go as they please #the boys never try and stop them #cause they know it's not their place #oh they miss her for sure #and they worry about her all the time #but they also know she needs her freedom

[andysorbit]

Praise & Worship Pt. 1 (M)

Churchboy!Doyoung/Camboy!Doyoung x Churchgirl!reader

Warnings: soft dom!Doie, corruption, unprotected sex (be smart), guided masturbation, overstimulation, dirty talk, big dick Doie agenda ayyyeee, slight angst, phone sex, daddy kink, fingering, squirting, spitting (I'm a spit slut leave me alone)

Word count: 4.8k

Now, this is a black church ya'll. This aint your memaw Doris' church nah sir we bumpin' them ol' negro spirituals

Thank you to @brownsugarbaybee for making me these really cool banners. Kari, your username inspired the username in this fic :,)

I also would like to thank @multifandomslxt, @calibabii21, @agust-june for being my number one churchboy!Doie enablers.

Doyoung's Playlist (because why tf not??)

The Battle is the Lord's - Yolanda Adams

I Won't Complain - Rev. Alyn E. Waller

My Redeemer - Nicole C. Mullen

Mary, Don't You Weep - Aretha Franklin

I Love the Lord - Whitney Houston

DaddyDoie's Playlist

Brown Skin - India.Arie

Untitled (How Does it Feel) - D'Angelo

Til the Cops Come Knockin' - Maxwell

TiO - Zayn

Sweetest Taboo - Sade

praise

/prāz/

verb

To express warm approval or admiration of.

-

worship

/ˈwərSHəp/

verb

To show reverence and adoration for.

Church is going swimmingly as it always does and you're happy to be seated in the sanctuary.

You, being an eager early bird, found your way to your seat in the front as you always do. Being the first daughter of the church is no easy feat but you love it and you love coming to give thanks to your Lord and Savior.

Adult life isn't always kind to you but you still come, rain or shine, to give honor.

Doyoung's been coming to this church since you were both eleven. His parents almost joined but they said your church was "a bit loud". That was okay. The black church experience isn't meant for everyone.

Doyoung, on the other hand, had stars in his eyes and with his parents' consent, he joined that very day; even signing up for the ministry van to come and pick him up.

Doyoung began singing in church a year after joining and he's loved it since the start. Starting off in the choir and working his way up to doing solos.

You two have grown close over the years and you've both grown up to be fine examples of how anyone can flourish when they stand in the love and dignity of the church of God.

Doyoung chose to sing The Battle is the Lord's this Sunday and as usual, he kills it.

Your father's sermon is about temperance and he preaches with his usual flair as he always does.

"Now we men know how it is when you see a beautiful woman! We know! We get a lil... 'ooooh she's a fine lookin' woman!' We get all beside ourselves sometimes! Same thing for you ladies! It's human nature, y'know. God didn't give you a single thing by accident. Ain't no sin in how you feel but it's what you do with those feelings!" he says; stopping for a minute to wipe his brow with his handkerchief.

The congregation agrees with hoots and hollers and old women fan themselves. You feel alive.

"The thing is that you can't just give yourself to everyone. Fall in love first! I tell these young kids all the time! You may think it's no big deal but it is! It's difficult to resist while you're in the thick of it but you'll be glad you stuck to the word of God and waited!"

Your eyes wander over to the the choir and you seek out Doyoung. His suit is crisp as usual and he looks amazing. His eyes meet yours and he wiggles his eyebrows.

"Like my man Doie for example! Fine ladies man, right? Of course but he's waiting for his wife. He's not paying you girls no mind because he knows the Lord is paving the pathway for his wife... hopefully my daughter- no lemme stop- but who knows? I don't! Hallelujah!"

Doyoung drops his face into his hand and laughs then looks back over at you and gives you a playful frown. You roll your eyes.

"And I know my baby likes him because everytime I mention him, she just gets that look on her face- look at her ya'll! Then those eyes get to rollin' and she just- that's my son-in-law, y’all! Hallelujah!"

"Daddy, would you stop?" You say and wave your hand at him.

Doyoung smiles at you and rolls his eyes.

When service ends, you find your dad, "You better leave me alone, old man," You say with a smile.

You father laughs and touches your face, "I don't speak on things unless I'm sure about it," he shoots back.

He's being pulled away for prayer and you greet everyone as your eyes search for Doyoung.

He finds you, as he always does, and with a warm embrace he asks you, "Did I give you chills?"

You reply, same as always, "I'm still freezing," You reply.

You pull back to look at him and he returns your smile, "You're coming back to Sister Martha's for lunch?" You ask.

"Of course I am. I'm gonna stop by and see mom and dad first but yeah. I'm coming," he says.

Mother Annie, whose mind is going, comes up to take your hand and Doyoung's, "How's my babies?" she asks.

"Oh, we're great! How are you feeling?" You say with a smile.

"I'm doing fine as always. Doie, you need a ride home, baby?" she says.

Doyoung smiles, "Oh, Mother Annie, you won't believe it but I learned how to drive! I have my own car and everything!" he says as he smiles but you see the sadness in his eyes. Everyone loves Mother Annie and it's sad to see her forgetting so much.

"Oh Jesus, I'm gettin' old," she sighs.

"But you're still a beauty," he chuckles.

She hugs him tightly then she hugs you, "He'd make a fine husband," she says as she shuffles off.

Doyoung gives you smirk, "She's not wrong," he says teasingly.

"I wouldn't know," You say sassily as you look him up and down.

Doyoung is an everybody kind of guy. Everybody loves him and everyone wants to be his wife or his in-law. He was a bit shy when he first started coming but he's grown into himself in many ways.

Your day eases by nicely and lunch is a fun gathering as it always is. Good food, good chats, and good prayers. Sister Joyce bakes a Louisiana crunch cake and as usual, threatens to spank Doyoung if he comes back for a third piece.

All is good and easy.

The week eases by and Saturday night rolls around like clockwork. You take your time preparing your clothes for church and then make a pitcher of peach iced tea that you plan on dropping off at Mother Annie's house before church in the morning.

You unwind after a nice bubble bath and dress in an oversized t-shirt and those feelings of yours bubble back up. Feelings of imagining what Doyoung's body would feel like against yours, of what it really feels like to be ravished.

Sometimes, there's a look in his eyes that you can't place and it's led you to believe that there may be a side to Doyoung that you've never seen and it gives you chills more intense than the ones he gives you in church.

On impulse, you ordered a pink dildo online a few weeks ago but your guilt is why you never even opened the packaging but tonight, your curiosity gets the best of you.

You look at it then put it back in the box.

It's a step.

You roll the idea of using it around in your head before firing up your laptop.

You started off with good intentions.

Really.

A simple Google search:

Is it a sin to masturbate?

Clicking between Christianity.com, GotQuestions.org, and reading answers and Bible verses on NeverThirsty.org for so long that you begin to wonder why the hell you should even possibly care anymore because it's all a mixture of yeses and noes.

Then comes the twist that makes you groan in defeat. The matter of lust. Can you even masturbate without lusting after someone?

You close the tabs and search for porn sites for something to watch. It's all anticlimactic. You expected more but... this is all a bit much.

A pop-up catches your eye:

DaddyDoie is live! Sign up to say hi now!

"Doie? Oh please," You scoff but you sign up and your username is BrownSugarPrincess. Is it stupid? Yes. 100% but you didn't sign up to seduce anyone or to attract any lascivious attention to yourself. You signed up because there's no way that's your Doie.

You confirm your account and you're redirected back to the livestream.

You shriek.

It is Doyoung.

Or maybe it's not. You can't see his face and the camera cuts off just at his neck and Doyoung definitely has a necklace exactly like that and those shoulders... there's no way that's Doyoung...

But it really could be...

You lean in closer to your laptop and take in his naked body with little regard to your previous research on where your soul will end up after doing a thing like this.

You slap your free hand over your mouth when he sighs, "BrownSugarPrincess. Cute name... You're my thousandth subscriber, sweetheart, so.. you've won yourself a surprise," he says softly as he strokes himself a little faster.

You'd recognize that soft, honey voice anywhere.

"Oh my God," You whisper

You watch his hand fist his cock and you're frozen; anchored in place by the sex dripping from his voice.

"I'Il send you a DM and you can tell me when you're available to claim your prize," he says slowly.

You type your reply:

BrownSugarPrincess: oh wow that's pretty cool... thank you but maybe give it to the next person? I don't think I should...

Doyoung chuckles devilishly, "Such a polite girl. It's okay, we'll talk after. I think I could change your mind."

You want to close the tab and toss your laptop across the room but you can't. His cross necklace sits so nicely around his neck and the fact that he's even still wearing it is obscenely attractive.

"God... please," You whisper. You're unsure of what you need God to do for you because more than the willpower to put your laptop away, you want Doyoung inside of you.

"I know what you want," Doyoung chuckles as his hand slows down. He's a tease.

Your hand is in your panties before you realize it and you softly touch your clit as you abandon all of your morals from earlier.

Doyoung stops stroking himself and lets his cock smack against his stomach with a heavy flop.

"Oh... oh my God," You pant as you stroke yourself a little faster.

You admire his girth and wonder for a moment how long it would take you to stretch around his cock.

He's fucking huge.

He gently runs his thumb over his throbbing tip and spreads his precum so slowly that you whine.

"Get a good look at it, baby," he sighs, "Do you think you could take all of this? How much do you think you could fit in your mouth before you start gagging on it?"

The comments are flooding in and you don't read a single one of them because how could anyone focus on typing with this indescribable being on their screen?

He chuckles as he wraps his hand around his cock once more, "You've been very quiet BrownSugarPrincess... or maybe I can just call you Princess? I bet you have the prettiest brown skin, sweetheart... I know why you're not saying anything... I know you're touching that pretty little pussy."

You buck your hips and the sound of his voice alone is enough to send you over the edge but you fight it off because you don't want this to end.

"I know you're soaking wet for daddy... In your bed with your hands between your beautiful thighs... stroking that soft, warm cunt... I know you're wishing I was there to stretch you out and fuck you like you're all mine... yeah, Princess... Daddy wants you to touch that pussy. Do that for me, baby."

Your tongue runs over your bottom lip and your fingers speed up, "Oh... fuck, fuck... fuck... fuck," You pant and you're so close and he knows it. He knows what he's doing.

He strokes himself faster and you match his pace. The moans that fall from his mouth are the most delicious sounds you've ever heard and wishing that you could feel them against your mouth, you lose the battle.

Your body trembles as you cum and soon his cum is shooting up his stomach and covering the back of his hand. His moans, slow and velvety, dance into your ears and soak your pussy even more. It's so much- too much and you could cry.

"That was so good, wasn't it?" he sighs breathlessly.

You nod and of course he can't see you but you nod anyway because he has you stuck on stupid.

"Okay... well... that's all for tonight. Thank you for coming... Princess, I'm gonna clean up and then l'll be talking to you," he says and ends the live.

You get up and clean yourself up too. The guilt kicks in as you step into the shower and you scrub your body so harshly that you think just maybe you've washed the sins off of you.

"God... please... forgive me. I'm so sorry. l'm so, so, so, sorry. God, cleanse me. Help me, Lord," You whisper over and over as you rinse the soap off of your body.

It doesn't feel like your soul is any purer but your skin is a little sore and that's a feeling that can distract you from the guilt in your chest.

You towel off once you're done and go back to your bedroom. You reluctantly check the site's notifications and you yelp.

DaddyDoie: Hello, Princess

It was sent five minutes ago.

You tap a reply; too eagerly.

BrownSugarPrincess: Hello

DaddyDoie: How are you this evening?

BrownSugarPrincess: I'm doing fine. How are you?

DaddyDoie: I'm great. Thanks for asking. How'd you find my livestream?

BrownSugarPrincess: I was kinda just looking around I guess. I tried watching porn but I didn't really find anything that was helping.

DaddyDoie: So you needed more and that's what sent you my way. That's cute. Really cute.

BrownSugarPrincess: So what's the surprise?

DaddyDoie: Well, you have two choices. A video call or a voice call.

BrownSugarPrincess: Um... maybe a voice call? I probably shouldn't though do it though.

DaddyDoie: And why is that?

BrownSugarPrincess: It's a lot to explain I think...

DaddyDoie: Maybe I should call you then. You won't have to type it all out if we just talk.

BrownSugarPrincess: Ok

Your reply sinks in and you panic but you don't have much time to wallow in it because the voice call prompt on the site pops up. You quickly grab your headphones from your nightstand and turn them on. You slip them on and answer,

You pick up, "Hi," You say softly.

"Hello, Princess," he says and there's no way this isn't Doyoung, "What's this conflict that's got you so stressed out, hm?"

"Well... I'm religious and... this is wrong. I shouldn't be doing this."

"Well... Princess, I'm probably not the best at steering people down a good path versus a bad one but... what do you want to do right now?"

"I don't know what I want."

"Oh, I don't believe that, Princess... I think you know exactly what you want but the problem is that what you want doesn't line up with what you believe is right."

You fall silent.

He chuckles, "How about this... how about you tell me what you're wearing and we can take this very slowly and if you want, you can stop me at any point,"

"O-okay... I'm... I'm wearing a towel. I just got out of the shower," You reply nervously.

"You tried to wash the sins off of that pretty body, didn't you, Princess?"

"Uh huh."

"So cute... how about you take that towel off and lay in your bed for me?"

You quickly remove your towel and toss it aside before getting into bed, "I'm uh... I'm in bed," You say shyly.

"And you're naked?"

"Y- yes."

"Say it. Tell me that you're in bed and you're naked."

You shiver, "I'm... in bed and... I'm... I'm naked."

"Good girl," he hums, "Now... I want you to touch yourself. Nice and slowly, baby, touch your pussy for me."

You hand glides down between your legs and dip past your folds, "Oh," You gasp as your fingers slowly tease your clit.

"Are you wet for me, Princess?" he asks softly. His voice shoots through your body like lightning.

"I'm so wet... so wet," You whine as your fingers move faster.

"Oh no you don't... you need to slow it down, sweetheart. You're not gonna cum until I tell you to," he says softly. You can tell he's smiling. You can always hear it in his voice.

You slow down reluctantly and whine, "Please," You beg.

"Here's what you're gonna do... I want you to take your other hand and slide two fingers inside that pretty cunt. Do that for me, baby," he tells you. His voice alone is too much and you gasp when he moans softly.

You do. Two fingers slide deep inside and you almost cum.

"I- I... oh... God... daddy," You whimper.

"That's a good girl. Just like that... fuck yourself with your fingers, baby. Fuck that tight little cunt for your daddy," he sighs.

You ease your fingers in and out of your wetness and the sounds are obscene as you fall deeper and deeper into this pit that his soft moans

"I can hear you fucking yourself, Princess. Daddy can hear you. You're so wet, baby... I hear those fingers moving inside that soaked cunt. I'd love to be there with you so I could taste you, baby, and suck on your clit until you're trembling for me... Would you let me eat that sweet little pussy? Huh, baby?"

You move faster and your body begins to tremble, "Yes... Daddy... please... please," You whine. Your voice is a desperate shrill now and colors swirl behind your eyes as you keep going.

"Chase it, baby. You can do it. It's right there for you. Isn't that right, beautiful?" he purrs.

"Uh huh... u-uh huh... daddy," You whimper.

"It's all yours, sweetheart. Come on," he says and his own voice goes a little higher. His moans shake you somewhere deep within and you wriggle desperately as your orgasm approaches.

Your eyes flutter shut and you whine as you come undone.

"Don't stop yet, baby... curl your fingers up for me," he says softly.

You immediately obey his orders and sigh, "I... I dunno if I'm doing this right."

"You'll know, sweetheart. Just take your time. If I was there with you, I'd show you exactly where to touch yourself. You wouldn't have to do a thing... just lay there and keep those pretty legs open for your daddy... I'd take good care of you... Make you feel so good I'd probably make you cry for me," he drags out as best he can and he sounds so fucking close but you know he's holding out until you find that spot he's talking about.

He was right, you do know the moment you find it because you convulse with a new rush of pleasure that overwhelms you. You press your fingers against that spot deep inside over and over, "Daddy" You mew out weakly.

"Didn't daddy tell you? That's my good girl. Keep going baby. Right there... just like that. Keep doing that," he says. His voice is deep and longing.

Your fingers speed up and you shake violently.

"Daddy!"

This orgasm is so intense that you almost forget how to breathe and you soak your hands, your thighs, and your sheets.

"That's my girl. Such a good girl, Princess. You did such a good job," he praises you breathlessly.

"I... the uh... I soaked my bed. Oh my God... I soaked my bed," You pant mindlessly and you don't even know how you're talking because it's as if you have no control over your mouth or really any other part of your body.

"Did you squirt?" he asks with a low chuckle.

"That's what it's called? I thought I pissed myself."

"No, baby. That isn't what happened at all... Was it that good?"

"Yes."

"Did I give you chills?"

Your blood runs cold, "Uh huh..." You croak.

A silence falls over the both of you for a moment.

"I um... I should go clean up," You say softly.

"I should too," he chuckles.

"Thank you," You say.

"Of course. Good night, sweetheart," he says with a soft laugh.

His voice could send you into another frenzy.

"G- good night," You say.

You end the call and slam your laptop shut, "Oh my God."

You pull off your headphones and stand up.

What a night.

Morning comes around too quickly and between your restless sleep and your general nerves about seeing Doyoung, for the first time ever, you're late for church.

Sadly, there's nowhere to hide. Your empty seat in the front row is like a stage as you quietly take your seat.

Impulsively, your eyes seek out Doyoung and there he is with his perfect posture and his teased back hair, watching you with an amused smirk. You give him a tight smile.

You don't hang on to a word your father says and save for the date scrawled sloppily at the top of your notebook, the page is blank.

Your mind replays the night before over and over. The darkness in his voice, the way he sounded as he came, the curiosity of how his cock would feel inside you; it haunts you and excites you.

You close your eyes and whisper a prayer but it's no use. Behind closed eyes, all you see is his naked body, the cross that hung lewdly against his bare chest, the cum that painted his stomach. Your eyes shoot open and Doyoung's staring at you.

"Are you okay?" he mouths.

You nod quickly and drop your head down. To look at him is to set you back from the inch of progress you've made since your last impure daydream and the knowing look in his eyes is far too much- prolonged eye contact will turn this jovial church service into your funeral.

You don't realize church is ending until your mother nudges you to stand for prayer.

As your father closes out with prayer, you look over at Doyoung who's looking right at you.

"Close your eyes," he mouths to you and you quickly obey.

When church ends your mother takes your hand, "Are you okay?" she asks.

"Yes, mama. I just didn't get enough rest last night. I'm sorry," You ramble.

"You missed my joke this morning but that's your loss," your father says as he greets you with a hug.

Like clockwork, Doyoung finds you and after warm greetings from your parents, he turns to circle his arms around you, "You must've had some night," he laughs.

"Oh uh... not really. Just had a restless sleep. Not much else," You ramble.

Doyoung is highly amused, "Oh, I'm sure, Squirtle," he laughs.

"What's that supposed to mean? What's so funny?" You ask nervously.

"Come with me, Y/n," Doyoung sighs as he leads you through the crowd. You both greet people as you go.

Mother Annie stops you both, "Hi, babies. How are you both today?" she asks as she kisses your cheek and then Doyoung's.

"We're good, Mother Annie. How are you today?" Doyoung asks.

"I'm fine, baby. Do you need a ride home?" She asks.

Doyoung's smile falters for only a second, "Well I was looking forward to seeing you so I could tell you that I have a car now!"

"Oh, you do? Now you can drive me to church!" she says with a laugh.

"Of course! You know I love you," he says sweetly.

"And I love you, baby, but you better practice that driving first. I ain't been in a car accident in a long time and I don't plan on getting into one with you," she laughs.

"Oh for sure," Doyoung chuckles.

She kisses you both again and goes on her way.

Doyoung takes you outside into the cool spring air, "Your skirt is on backwards," he says as he hooks his finger into your skirt and swiftly turns it around the right way.

"Oh... thank you," You say sheepishly.

"Look at me," he tells you softly.

You look at him and he leans in closer to you.

"Doyoung, I-"

"It's okay. You're overthinking this too much. Just let it be," he tells you softly.

"How can I? I feel awful," You say as you shake your head.

"You didn't feel bad while it was happening. In that moment, it was just us. You know I'm gonna marry you anyway so why are you so worried about it?"

Doyoung reaches out to touch your face and you lean into his hand.

"Because we're not married and... that's why it's wrong. You know that," You say, "We're not even dating."

Doyoung smiles a very smug smile, "Well, I thought we were... all those dinner dates and movie nights and staying up all night on the phone talking or just listening to each other breathe... excuse me."

"I'm sorry that was... I shouldn't have said that," You mumble.

"No, it's a good thing you did because we did sort of fall into it but we never said it and maybe that's something you needed to hear," he says.

The quiet is disrupted by the church doors opening. Everyone comes out chattering and you let the crowd separate you both.

It's a cowardly thing to do but you don't know what else to do.

When you get home, you undress and take a warm shower. The urge to wash away your thoughts is rampant and in the past twenty-four hours, if you showered every time you felt this way, you'd have no skin left and you'd never leave the shower.

You curl up on your sofa and sit in your own discomfort as you whisper prayers of forgiveness.

Doyoung lets himself in holding plates wrapped in foil and you can tell he's a little annoyed, "I figured you'd be here... Your mom said if you leave like that again, she's coming over with your dad's belt and I might tag along with my own belt but anyway... I have food and Sister Katherine made a cheesecake so come on," he says as he kicks his shoes off and makes his way to the kitchen.

You don't move from your spot on the sofa and he comes back out to hang his blazer on your coatrack by the front door.

"Come on, Y/n, get up. Let's go. If your morning went as badly as I think it did, you didn't even have breakfast so move it," he says as he loosens his tie.

Your ruthless thoughts are back and you imagine him tying your hands behind your back.

You shake your head, "You should go, Doyoung. I'm fine... I just need to be alone," You mumble.

Doyoung takes his tie off and hangs it with his blazer, "There's not a single thought you could have about me that I'd take offense to, Squirtle," he says and rolls his sleeves up.

There go the thoughts again. This time you imagine him forcing you to your knees and tracing the head of his cock across your lips.

"Doyoung, please," You sigh.

"I'm not leaving until you eat something. Besides, I've know you for... sixteen years now? Since we've known each other, we've never missed a Sunday lunch together. Just because you wanna be a butt head doesn't mean we have to break our tradition. You don't have look at me or even talk to me but you're gonna get your butt in that kitchen and you're gonna eat something," Doyoung stands over you and crosses his arms.

"Okay... fine," You say as you get up.

You both go into the kitchen and you sit down at your tiny table.

Doyoung washes his hands and removes the foil from your plate, "I got you a little bit of everything," he says and gets it going in the microwave.

You can't help but smile, "Thank you, Doie," You say softly.

He turns and smiles at you, "Y/n, you know this is no big deal, right? I mean any of this," he says as he shakes his head.

"Why did you start doing it?" You ask

Doyoung bites into a hush puppy, "I needed the money," he says casually.

"Doyoung, my dad said if you needed help to just ask," You chide.

Doyoung shakes his head, "Y/n, your dad is a great man but you don't think if I'm dipping into his wallet, it's not gonna change his idea of me? He wants me to marry you probably more than you and I want each other combined and I'd like to keep it that way. I don't plan to do this forever. It's just until I get a promotion at work and if you tell me right now that you don't want me to do this anymore, I'll find a different way to get by until then but I'm not asking your father for a dime."

The microwave beeps and Doyoung gets your plate out. He brings it over to you then puts his own plate in the microwave.

"But why? Like... I don't understand," You say quietly.

You watch him retrieve a fork from your silverware drawer and he crosses the kitchen to hand it to you, "It was the fastest and easiest solution to my problems. Between the bills and just living, it got to be too much and the student loans don't help and since I'm still paying those off, I was a bit over my head and... I know it was a bad choice to make but I was praying and nothing was happening and I crunched some numbers and the alternative was to either stop paying two bills or stop taking you out so I did what I had to do. Besides... it's twice a week for a little less than an hour and it was the only way I could still come to church and spend time with you when I want," he shoves his hands into his pockets and shrugs again.

"Doie... oh my God," You sigh, "I could've helped out or we could've gone dutch at the very least."

"Oh, God forbid. It'll be a cold day in hell before I do something like that- what kind of a man do you take me for? he scoffs.

One thing about Doyoung is that some of the old-fashioned values that the elders of the church live by have stuck with him:

Never ask a woman for money.

Never drop a woman off and drive off before she lets you know she's on the other side of her door.

Never ever let a woman you're spending time with pay for anything- even if she invited you out.

The first time you ever offered to treat him to lunch, he all but fainted.

The microwave beeps again and he takes his plate put. You watch him bring it to the table then he gets two Mason jars from a cupboard.

"I made peach iced tea last night," You say, "It was for Mother Annie but I forgot it."

Doyoung laughs as he gets the pitcher from the refrigerator, "I really ruined your morning, didn't I?"

You nod as you pile a forkful of macaroni and cheese into your mouth.

Doyoung fills your glass and then sits down to fill his own. After placing the pitcher down, he reaches across the table and holds his hands out to you.

You stare at his hands and imagine them gliding over his body then over your own, "You didn't say grace," he chides.

"Oh... sorry," You murmur and set your fork down to take his hands.

"Dear Lord, thank you for this meal and thank you for the love that went into everything. Thank you for today and give Y/n a little extra love... she needs it," he says with a smile, "In Jesus' name... amen."

"Amen," You say and smile back at him.

Clearing the air is good and although it doesn't change the longing you feel for him, it makes lunch a hell of a lot easier for you.

"It's not a crime to let me take care of you sometimes. If you need to do what you have to do for now, I won't stop you but I could help... I could send tips an-"

"Anything you send me, I'm gonna take all of it- down to the very last penny and I'm gonna donate it to the church. Do you really want money you sent me for jerking off in front of a camera funding the children's outreach program? Huh, Squirtle?"

"Well, geez, Doie. When you put it like that... ugh fine. You're impossible," You huff.

"Well then don't," he says firmly.

You both eat in silence but the air thickens as your curiosity becomes more unbearable.

"Y/n, if you have another question, just ask me. It's okay,"

"How long have you been doing this?" You immediately ask.

"Two years... eight months and fourteen days," he replies.

"Do you like doing it?"

"Not really... I'm good at it though which... excuse my language is... kinda fucked up."

"You were always this good or... did you have to work up to how good you are now?"

"I used to be nervous but... I started pretending that I was just doing it for you... like you were the only person watching and it got easier... Just so you know, I've never even thought about touching another woman. You're the first person I've ever even gone that far with," he says with a sheepish smile.

"Oh?" You say perk up.

Doyoung nods, "I uh... I watched a few people and I did some research and stuff... that's how it's gotten to this point... how I got to get you off like that... I was so scared it wasn't gonna work," he chuckles and his hand creeps across the table to brush against yours.

"You were scared?" You ask incredulously as your fingers intertwine with his.

Doyoung laughs and brings his free hand up to his chest, "I thought you were gonna hang up," he says.

"Oh no... no, no, no. That was really good,"

"Really?" he asks

You nod and he gives you a sheepish smile.

"You know... I knew it was you the minute I heard your voice," he says.

"How?" You ask.

"That voice of yours... I could hear it once and know it anywhere. All of this mileage we've accumulated and all of the times we've stayed up talking on the phone and you really thought I wouldn't know?" he laughs.

"I think... maybe..." You trail off as you push around the bits of food left on your plate.

"Maybe you wanted me to know it was you?" he asks.

You nod. It's freeing.

"I kept thinking there was something wrong with me for feeling this way... like it's just repressed for literally years and I can't stop thinking that it's wrong to feel this way," You say as you look at him. It's easier now.

"I know it's a lot to try to grapple on your own but you have to decide what's good for you... sometimes what we want isn't always what's right but you have to decide what you're gonna do," he tells you with a reassuring smile.

"Yeah... that's the problem..." You mutter.

"So what now?" he asks.

You shrug, "I'm... not sure? I was hoping you could tell me," You say and you feel yourself shrinking inside.

"I say we eat some of that cheesecake and just enjoy the rest of the day," he says as he stands up.

It would be a lie if said you weren't disappointed. You really were anticipating something more.

He knows it and it's written all over his face.

"Okay," You say softly.

"Go find a movie for us to watch, I'll clean up and get the cheesecake," he says.

"I can help you," You reply.

Doyoung stands up, "I um... I think you should just go to the living room," he retorts.

"Why?" You ask.

"Because I keep thinking about bending you over the table but I'm trying to be a gentleman and do the right thing," he replies very calmly.

Doyoung clears the plates from the table and shoos you out of the kitchen.

You settle down on the sofa and turn the television. As you mindlessly cycle through movies and shows, your ears stay trained on Doyoung busying himself in the kitchen.

"Doie, forget the cheesecake, okay? Just come on," You call out.

Doyoung comes in and sits beside you, "So what are we watching?" he asks.

"I didn't know what to pick... I uh... I figured we could agree on something?" You say quietly.

Doyoung slinks his arm around you and eases the remote out of your hand, "Okay, Squirtle, let's find something together," he hums.

"Stop calling me that," You mumble.

Doyoung turns to look at you, "What? You don't like it?" he laughs.

"No... I don't," You huff.

"You thought you pissed yourself," he laughs a little harder.

"Doyoung, stop!" You sigh.

"Okay, okay, okay... I'll stop," he chuckles and presses a kiss to your temple.

You snuggle closer to him and rest against him as he passes movie after movie.

He lands on One Direction: This is Us and he laughs when you groan.

"Remember when you were obsessed with One Direction and sister Mary said the devil got ahold of you?" he asks with a chuckle.

"Yeah... it's because I wrote a fanfiction about Zayn and my dad told her," You groan.

Doyoung gasps, "That's why?"

"Yeah... it wasn't super smutty or anything but there was kissing. I didn't go far," You sigh.

"How far did you go, devil child?"

"Kinda far but not too far I guess?"

"Hm."

You pull the remote out of Doyoung's hand, "I can show you."

"Oh... you wanna show me?" he chuckles and presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth.

You sigh and bring his hand down to nestle between your thighs, "It started off like this," You whisper.

Doyoung's fingers find their way into your panties and he touches you softly as he holds your gaze, "Well that's a very good start," he says and leans in to kiss you slowly.

His fingers stroke you slowly and you want to believe that he couldn't possibly feel this good and have no experience but anything is possible at this point.

You moan into his mouth and he chuckles as he strokes his tongue against yours.

Your stomach flutters and you heat up as his fingers speed up and slow down.

"Doie... Doie, please... please, Doie," You whimper.

"Hm?" he hums as he slips two fingers into you, "Is this what you want?"

You writhe as he fucks his fingers into you, "Please, Doie."

Doyoung laughs and curls his fingers up to touch you just how he told you to the night before, "Oh, Y/n... Y/n, Y/n, Y/n... I'm trying so hard... to be a gentleman and you just won't let me," he purrs against your ear.

"I just want you... I need you. Please," You sob desperately as he pulls his fingers out of you and slides them into his mouth with a soft moan.

He is so obscene and drives you to the brink of desperate tears.

"You need me? For what, Squirtle? Huh?"

"I- I... please... please fuck me."

"I thought you wanted me to wife you first... what happened to that? Hm? Isn't this wrong?" he says as his fingers find their way back to your clit.

He slows his fingers down and you sigh in frustration.

"I don't care.. I don't care. I don't... I don't, I don't, I don't... just want you inside me," You beg and bring your hand down to cover his, "Please... I need it so bad."

Doyoung sucks a mark into your chest, "Don't start something that you can't finish," He hisses. His fingers speed up again.

"I want you, Doie, please," You whine.

Doyoung shifts and pushes you into a leaning position over the armrest. His hands squeeze your ass and you close your eyes in anticipation.

"You should see how good you look from here," he hums and pulls your panties down. His fingers slide over the curve of your ass to stroke your clit as you push back against his hand.

"Do you wanna know something else?" he whispers against your ear.

"Yes... uh huh,"

"I knew it was you when you joined my stream."

"H-how?"

His fingers slow down, "That's the same username you used when we snuck and made those Snapchat accounts when we were younger... remember?"

The memory ebbs back into your mind and you smile for a moment.

"You've always been my predictable girl... do you remember why you liked that username so much?"

You nod and squeeze your eyes shut as he slides his fingers inside to fuck you slowly.

"Tell me," he whispers.

"You- said I looked like brown sugar."

It was a joke you two had started. Your 'that's you' game. Finding things you thought were beautiful and yelling out "that's you!". It was an innocent game for years until it was forgotten. Doyoung, when you both were sixteen, had revived it in your kitchen while helping your mother bake Sister Janie a pecan pie when she was pregnant.

He whispered it as your mother was measuring brown sugar but this time it was different, as if he was confessing his true feelings for you and that was the day you knew you loved him.

Doyoung kisses your neck, "That's right... my beautiful girl... with the prettiest skin and the sweetest lips... I knew all along."

You wriggle and whine as his fingers continue their attack on you, "Please, Doyoung," You groan.

Doyoung pulls his fingers from your wetness and sucks them clean before opening his pants.

You turn to look at him and he pulls you up to turn and face him, "I wanna see your pretty face while I'm filling you up," he whispers as he eases you back against the space between the armrest and the back of the sofa.

You spread your legs so willingly that you're a little embarrassed.

Doyoung notices and smiles as leans down to kiss you, "That's my good girl. Don't be embarrassed... I want you just as badly," he says as he eases you out of your shirt.

Somehow, there's comfort in lying naked here in front of him and you know Doyoung feels it too.

"I love you, Y/n," he says sincerely; a look of timidity comes through and you touch his face.

"I love you too," You whisper.

A chill passes wildly through your body as you watch him unbutton his shirt. He shrugs it off and your eyes fall down to the cross on his neck. The guilt doesn't bubble up this time.

Doyoung looks down at you and you can see the reluctance in his eyes, "I wanna try something with you and I kinda wanna see your blind reaction to it because I really think you're gonna like it but I need you to trust me," he says softly.

You nod eagerly, "I trust you," You whisper.

He smiles and leans down, "Okay... open your mouth," he says softly and takes your chin between his fingers.

You part your lips and he spits in your mouth. Your breath catches in your throat as the sensation of feeling his saliva in your mouth raises goosebumps on your skin. You swallow with a soft hum.

"Oh... wow," You breathe.

"Right?" he chuckles and touches your face.

You nod in agreement as you wrap your arms around his shoulders to pull him down even closer. His necklace swings and taps your chin. It excites you in a way.

"Thank you for trusting me," he whispers.

You kiss his eyes, "Always."

You feel the head of his cock nudge your clit and you squeak.

"Keep your eyes on me, okay? I really wanna see your face while I'm fucking you,"

You nod and look at him.

"God, you're so beautiful," he sighs.

Slowly, he eases into you and you keep your eyes on him, just like he asked.

"I can already feel myself becoming addicted to you... I wanna stay like this with you forever and ever. You... fuck... you feel so good," he whines as he bottoms out completely.

"Doie, please," You choke out.

Doyoung pulls out almost completely before easing back into you.

"Do you like this?" he asks.

You can tell he's holding back.

You nod, stupid and enthralled by his voice and his touch, and the pressure you feel as he fills you up.

The softness of this moment is too much because how did you just fall deeper in love with him?

"P-please...go harder," You whimper as you clench around him hungrily.

Doyoung hisses and drops his head down to touch yours, "If you keep doing that, I'm gonna cum.... You want that? Wanna feel my cum inside you?"

"Yeah... I want it," You moan.

"You're so cute," Doyoung chuckles, "Say it. Say what it is that you want." He thrusts a little faster and you spread your legs in wanting.

"I want... you to... fill me with your cum," You pant.

"That's my dirty girl," he coos, "You're not on birth control, are you?"

You shake your head, "No... no," You reply.

He hums as he fucks into you, "Oh... so you really want me," he laughs.

You nod and lift your head to kiss him, "I... want all of you."

Doyoung slams into you once and stops to lock eyes with you, " Like that?" he asks and does it again.

You nod and whine.

He fucks you with a hard and steady rhythm and the sounds of his hips meeting yours take you somewhere obscene as you writhe against him and take each thrust with an unsurmountable greed for the next.

"I love you," You whisper; voice trembling as you lose yourself in his eyes.

"And I love you," he whispers back.

He picks up speed with a soft moan and kisses you. You lick into each other's mouth sloppily and he takes that as as sign and proves that he knows you well enough, "Open your mouth, sweetheart," he pants.

Your mouth falls open greedily and he spits in your mouth again. This time you hold it in your mouth and moan with satisfaction.

"I need more, Doie... please," You plead.

He snakes a hand down between your bodies and toys at your clit, both of your whimpers fill the thick air of your living room.

"I'm... oh, Doie," You whine, "I'm close."

"Cum for me, sweetheart. It's alright," he whispers against your mouth.

You release with a cry and Doyoung pulls out. You gasp, "No, no, no... Doie, please... please," You beg desperately.

"I'm not done, babe... turn around for me. I'm not done with you yet," he chuckles as he shifts you to turn and lean back over the armrest.

"Doie," You groan as he eases himself back into you and you welcome back that delicious stretch, "Fuck... you're so big."

Doyoung brings a hand around to stroke your clit again and you inch away from him as he fucks you. His hips smack against your ass and you whine.

"You love it, baby... You love how I stretch you out. How good it feels... I love it too... Love the way you grip me just right," he purrs.

His free hand comes up to softly circle around your throat and he pulls you up to press your back to his chest.

"Give it to me, baby... come on... You can do it again," he whispers as his fingers increase in speed. You wriggle against him and he laughs as you try to ease away from him to escape his ministrations.

"Hey, hey... where are you going, huh? Don't run from me," he laughs softly as you let him fuck into you, "That's right... stay right here with me... you love this, right?"

You nod furiously, "U-uh... h-h-huh! Yes, daddy!" you squeak.

He leans down to press his lips against your neck before licking his way up to the shell of your ear, "Yeah you do, baby... yeah, you do," he coos against your heated skin, "That's why you have to stop running from me... if you really need me to stop, you know what to say... so why don't you stay still, huh? Let me play with you."

"I love you, Doie," You gasp.

"You love me, sweetheart?" he moans.

You nod in agreement, "S-s... so... much," You sob.

His fingers stroke you faster, "Again... give it to me. Right now, baby... give it to me."

Your body is a storm of wanting him to stop but dying to feel him take you to your own heaven once more. Your body tightens up, "Doie..." You choke out.

He hisses at the sound of your soaked pussy clenching around his cock, "Sounds just like it did last night... such a good pussy... so tight and hot... it's all mine, right?"

You nod and your body convulses as you cum once more. You try to squeeze your thighs shut but Doyoung holds his hand firmly against your cunt, "You're so beautiful... just a perfect... perfect angel," he sighs as he emphasizes each word with a sharp snap of his hips.

"Please!" You cry as you try in vain to push his hand away. Despite your attempts, you don't really want him to stop. If he told you that you were to stay with him forever, just as you are right now, you wouldn't think twice about it.

"I love you, baby," he whispers as he cums. His body shudders and he kisses your neck again.

You both fall forward against the armrest and Doyoung stills himself.

You both tremble as you come down and Doyoung chuckles weakly, "I don't wanna pull out yet. Can I stay like this with you for a little bit longer?" he asks. He's still hard and if you weren't so spent, you'd do something about it.

"You're still hard," You whisper.

"It's okay, sweetheart... We have the rest of the day and I'm not going anywhere," he replies

Doyoung rouses you from your slumber gently, "I have to get home, Y/n. I have work in the morning," he whispers.

You roll over and drape your arm and leg around him, "Don't leave me," You mumble.

"Well unless you're down with three livestreams this week, I gotta go. I'll see you later. I'll come by after work," he says and kisses the side of your face.

"No... no. I'll come by your place. It's my day off. I'll make you dinner," You say as you sit up and kiss him.

"Not you being an obedient wife. Gonna make dinner and wait for me?" he chuckles.

"Yeah... what do you want me to make?"

"Whatever you want. You know I love eating anything you make," he whispers against your mouth. You know he's trying his hardest to not give in and stay with you.

"Pan fried steak with mushrooms?"

"Oooh."

"Mashed potatoes?"

"Stop, you're turning me on."

"Steamed broccoli and carrots?"

Doyoung turns onto his side then pushes you on your back and his fingers find their way between your legs.

"My parting gift to you," he says softly as his fingers draw soft circles into your clit. You spread your legs a little wider and close your eyes.

"Doie... thank you," You whimper.

Doyoung talks you through your orgasm, "Cum for me... that's my good girl. Always so wet and warm... cum, baby. You can do it," he hums.

"Doie... yes," You whine groggily.

His fingers work you faster and you gasp as you cum.

"That's my sweetheart... Good girl," he coos.

The last thing you feel before you drift back to sleep is his lips pressing softly against your forhead.

So we're slaves to any semblance of touch. Lord, we should quit but we love it too much. - Andrew Hozier-Byrne

#neoculturecollectives #nct #nct smut #kpop smut #nct 127 #nct 127 smut #nct hard hours #nct hard thoughts #ambw smut #ambw fic #ambw kpop #nct ambw #ambw doyoung #ambw nct #kpop ambw #nct x black!reader #nct x black reader #church boy!doyoung #doyoung the church boy #kvanity #doyoung smut #doyoung fic #black nctzens #nct x plus sized reader #kpop smut for black girls

[jackhues]

you can miss it - mockingbird! au (platonic! hughes)

requested by: @rowdyhughesy

summary: in which y/n wonders what life could've been like if her parents were better

notes: continue sending in requests for the au! check out the request rules below! thanks for requesting <3, this takes place in may/june. 2024

likes are good, reblogs are better &lt;3

mockingbird! au request rules!|| mockingbird au! masterlist

gif not mine

"how about your aunt from colarado?" you asked, going down the list of random hughes members you'd heard of.

"which aunt?" jack responded.

"the one that gifted ellen that green vase," you reminded him. "are we inviting her to the wedding?"

jack thought about it, "i mean, we can invite her. i don't think she'll come honestly. she's like my mom's something cousin, i can't remember."

"we'll at least invite her," you decided, jotting that down on the second list.

you and jack were sitting on the couch in the lake house, trying to get together the final guest list for your wedding. there were still a few months left, and most invites had even gone out. but with so few people coming from your side, there was still space for more of jack's relatives.

"do we have to invite her?" luke asked, sitting on the floor in front of the couch. "she's always complaining and telling me to cut my hair."

"it's her or aunt griselda," quinn told him, leafing through the invites. "take your pic."

luke made a face, "neither is better, but i'll take the green vase lady."

you and jack shivered, remembering 'aunt griselda'. she was just some random neighbour or something who called herself the boys 'aunt', and often pinched their ears. she was not fun.

"wait, do you guys even know the green vase lady's name?" you asked the boys.

luke looked at jack, who looked at quinn, who tilted his head in thought.

"honestly, i have no idea," he realized. "we've always just called her aunt, or that one from colorado."

"well, i guess we're not inviting her," jack took the list from your hands and crossed out 'colorado aunt'.

you sighed, wondering what it would be like to have so many relatives that you didn't even know their names.

after cutting contact with your dad, your mom decided she didn't want to talk to you either. you had a feeling your mom was left no choice by your dad, but sometimes you wished she'd pick you over him.

if you had a better relationship with either of them, then you'd have someone to walk you down the aisle.

you loved jack and his family, truly. they were everything you didn't have growing up. but sometimes, you just wished you could've had that feeling of love your whole life.

you wished that your dad cared about you, that your mom tried harder for you, that they both loved you and showed it.

you dreamed of them being present on this big day, with smiles on their faces and tears in their eyes. you dreamed of your dad warning your husband not to hurt you, but then hugging you both and saying he wouldn't trust anyone else with his daughter.

you dreamed to have an uncle who was going to drink more than he should and then flirt with his wife, you dreamed to have cousins who'd be dancing even after the music was off, you dreamed to have little kids who'd hide in your dress and ask you not to leave with your husband.

they were such small things, but it seemed to hit you that you weren't going to have these moments.

all because your parents failed you growing up.

jack nudged you softly, "what's on your mind?"

you looked up, snapping out of it. "nothing."

it wasn't anything. you'd chosen to give up contact, and they'd chosen to pretend you don't exist anymore. you'd accepted that, and you were okay with them not being in your life.

"y/n, you've been a part of this family for years now, and you're going to legally become a part of this one in only a few months," quinn looked up. "even if it's stupid, you can tell us what's on your mind. i assure you, jack and luke have stupider things on their mind at any given moment."

you smiled as luke threw a pillow at quinn, ducking quickly to avoid retaliation.

"i was just being emotional," you shrugged. "like, growing up, i always thought my mom and dad would be here, on my wedding day. i didn't expect much from them, but i imagined them being there and being happy for me. i guess i always dreamed of our relationship becoming better by that point. but now... it's not like i want all of the stress again. it wasn't healthy and i don't regret cutting them out. i just, sometimes i wish they were better parents."

your voice grew soft at the end, but you realized how much better you'd gotten at communicating. before meeting the hughes, you'd often bottled everything up. you never spoke your mind, and you were forced to keep your opinions to yourself.

but now, you were proud at how well you'd explained your rambly thought process to the boys. you wished you'd had the love of parents growing up, but you didn't want them back in your life right now.

quinn smiled a little, tapping your hand in comfort.

"just because they weren't good to you, doesn't mean you're not allowed to wish they had been," he said.

"you're allowed to miss them," jack assured you. "you can miss them, and not want them in your life because of everything they did. there's nothing wrong with that."

"we're always going to support you, y/n/n," luke promised. "whatever you want, whatever you feel. we're here."

you smiled, wiping the corners of your eyes. "you're all so sweet and mushy, you're making me cry. oh god, i'm going to end up ruining my makeup on my wedding day because of you three."

"there's still months until that," luke waved it off. "we'll be sure to be even more sweet and mushy and get all the tears out before the wedding day."

"god, i love you three idiots."

---

tags:

@svechnikovvv , @hockeyboysarehot , @mysticaldonkey , @lam-ila , @babydollmarauders , @starjoyyy , @moldenhauers , @hischierdevils , @jackhughesily , @equallyshaw , @power2myheart , @lynnismypseudonym , @beccaiscold , @akengii , @hischierhaze , @cinnamonpancakes , @luvmmarner , @lifeofpriya , @marshmallow-babe , @starsandhughes , @thatoneblog , @hughesmedicine , @qwanelledingele , @mindless-rock , @ireadthensuetheauthors , @huggy-hischier94 , @slaythehousedownboots , @diary-of-jj , @fandom-oneshots-etc , @ajbird18 , @cherrysodadevils , @cixrosie , @xcicix , @wbkz3gras , @cole-mcward48 , @idontlikelizards , @bitchy55 , @privatemythss , @shaysucksatlife , @dancerbailey3

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#mockingbird! au #naqia's au's! #jack hughes #jack hughes x reader #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes blurb #jack hughes fic #jack hughes x y/n #jack hughes imagines #quinn hughes #quinn hughes imagine #luke hughes #luke hughes imagine #platonic #platonic!hughes #platonic! #platonic!reader #new jersey devils imagines #new jersey devils #hockey one shot #hockey fic #nhl one shot #nhl fic #nhl #hughes brothers #hughes family

[haesunflower]

meeting the parents with zb1

genre: fluff

pairing: reader (gn) x all members of zerobaseone

about/tags: zb1 is introduced to your parents for the first time

cursing in some, yujin is here platonically, family dynamics, bullet point reactions

⠀⠀ kim jiwoong ⠀⠀

is so confident lol and has every right to be

during dinner, one of his hands lays flatly on your leg because you keep nervously fidgeting in your seat

he doesn't get why you're panicking because it's going so well

you're just nervous because you've never introduced anyone to your family, as jiwoong is your first serious adult relationship

while you're washing the dishes with your mom, jiwoong overhears your conversation and finds out he's the first boyfriend you've ever brought home

"but for the record, i think he's perfect for you y/n."

"i didn't want you to meet anyone i'm less than sure of, jiwoong is definitely the one mom"

⠀⠀ zhang hao ⠀⠀

is a fucking nervous wreck

literally can't think straight and scared he'll say something stupid

so at first, he doesn't really talk at all

you softly squeeze his hand from under the dinner table, just to let him know he's supported

your mom ends up really liking him and tells him he has a gentle soul

"that's one of my favorite things about him, mom"

looks at you fondly smiles

across the table, your parents are reminded of a young version of themselves

⠀⠀ sung hanbin ⠀⠀

is so helpful oh my god

literally sets up the table and helps your mom carry the cooler to the garden

even helps figure out how to work the grill with your dad

your parents are impressed to say the least

your mom whispers to you, "you better marry that one"

hanbin is busy sharing a beer with your dad, toasting to the grill that was now working

he looks back at you and gestures for you to come closer to taste the meat that was grilling – makes sure to blow on it so it's not too hot before feeding you

you're chewing happily, and hanbin is smiling at you with his eyes

⠀⠀ seok matthew ⠀⠀

he is quick to become friends with your dad

they bond over conversations of sports teams and weightlifting, and they disappear into their own world

the rest of your family arrives for the pool party

your dad and mom are throwing water balloons at each other when matthew giggles from beside you and says "that'll be us one day y/n"

you're distracted by his sweet words you don't even realize both of you are being pushed in the pool by your younger siblings

matthew pretends to look offended and starts to playfully chase the culprits

you're smiling to yourself because you can't believe how easily he fits into your family

⠀⠀ kim taerae ⠀⠀

your parents already knew taerae

he grew up next door and was also your first boyfriend

it was literally no problem, no issue 100%

when you wake up at noon, taerae is already dressed and helping your mom prepare for dinner

you're just like./??? when did you get here?

your mom calls you lazy and says she is grateful to have a son-in-law like taerae

he smiles widely at the word son-in-law, dimple on full display

you don't say anything, instead you stand next to him to quietly assist him

the whole thing feels domestic, but you're not complaining

it feels right :)

⠀⠀ ricky ⠀⠀

he ordered flowers in advance for your mom & expensive whiskey for your dad

covered up his tattoos and wore his hair down to look less intimidating

even asked you if he should just dye his hair natural color because he was scared your parents would HATE him

you kept assuring him there was nothing to worry about

ricky is perfect so he nailed it obvi! he didn't show an ounce of nervousness and kept his cool the whole time

your dad jokingly asks him if he should also bleach his hair blonde

you all laugh at the dining table as your mom hits your dad playfully

(your dad isn't joking) (in fact asks ricky to bleach it for him)

you wake up the next day to texts from your dad, it's a selfie of him getting his hair done by ricky

⠀⠀ kim gyuvin ⠀⠀

you're scared that your dad will scare the shit outta him

and for the record, he did

"h-hi sir, it's n-nice to meet you sir" while bowing literally too many times

gyuvin feels like his face is frozen in a forced smile as your dad asks him all sorts of questions about him ,,,, it feels like a job interview

he relaxes when you start drawing small circles on the back of his hand

in the end your dad says "okay you pass, you're pretty decent"

gyuvin takes it as a win and just breathes out a sigh of relief

you excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and while you're gone, your parents sincerely thank gyuvin for making you happy

gyuvin in return thanks them for raising such a wonderful person, and tells them that "loving y/n is the easiest part of my life"

you didn't actually use the bathroom, you just wanted to know what they'll say without you there :') you're soft now

⠀⠀ park gunwook ⠀⠀

is literally so prepared he STUDIED what your parents like by stalking their facebook and took notes while asking you detailed questions about them

just in case, made a whole speech to answer the question "what do you like about y/n?" (he didn't end up using it but he came prepared!)

lol the usual, everyone loves him

your mom barely acknowledges you during dinner and serves gunwook all the best parts of the steak, literally no one hears you ask for someone to pass the potatoes bc they're so engrossed in conversation with gunwook

gunwook hears you though and happily serves you a heaping, whilst responding to your dad's question with ease

your mom smiles at the interaction

at the end of the night he proudly says "i think your parents like me :D" and he's so cute because he looks so satisfied with himself

⠀⠀ han yujin ⠀⠀

(friendship only)

during your recital, your parents think he's some sorta dancing prodigy

which is true because he only started dancing a year ago

at the lobby, you and your parents bump into yujin and his family, and they commend him for doing so well during his solo

when you get home to check the footage from the recital, you're barely in any of "your videos" because it's 70% yujin -_-

A/N: work is killing me guys, i don't know when i'll be able to sit down and just write huhu

taglist: @aleiamk @dwcljh @honghongbri

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[onnahu]

Why Bruce and Jason can't have a relationship we all want them to have

Disclaimer: I mostly ignore things that new-52 changed about their backstories bc new-52 is dumb when it comes to it

The thing about relationship between Jason and Bruce is that their upbringings were so different, and they both are so stubborn, they never could've agreed on some things.

Bc let's be real. Bruce went through a traumatic even as a child, and that was terrible. But before, he had two loving parents, and even after, he is a white, rich man. He is the definition of privilage and that's what made him Batman. I assure you, if he was poor, or even in middle class or whatever, he would never become Batman. Not only for a lack of funds.

On the other hand, we have Jason. From comics, even if fandom kinda streches it, his parents did everything they could. Jason for sure loved them, taking from his reaction at Willis's death, and everything about Catherine. We know he loved them, and they loved him. There is no hint for abuse in his early life (beside new-52 but new-52 is dumb), even if classist beliefs make us assume that. They had many problems, not much money, and Catherine was sick, and later an addict. So even in their poor financial status we can assume Jason's childhood was as good as it could be. He never complained about it, at least. Also, I personally headcanoned it earlier, and in the Hill it was pretty much confirmed, that Jason's latino.

That leaves us with two differences between them already, that gives them opposed perspectives on life. Bruce could never understand Jason's life no matter how he tried. Then, we have Catherine's death. It's a similiarity. Traumatic even where they lost their parent/s. But it's also very different. Even in their reactions we can see how they're not the same. Because as Dick's and Bruce's were similiar, Jason was complitely different.

Jason knew he doesn't have time for grief. He did what he had to keep himself alive, and took care for himself, that he in some way did already. He even menaged to do well for himself. We know that he survived on the streets alone for at least few years, and didn't really need Bruce's help for that. Although survival is not the same as life.

The other, propably more important thing: there was noone to blame for Catherine's death. He could blame her dealer, but he didn't really murder her. Dick and Bruce had the person that murdered their parents. They wanted revenge and they worked for it. Jason hadn't had anyone to take revenge on. He had no one to avenge.

Then, Jason got adopted, and could taste Bruce's life in some way. He learned how it is to have money to throw everywhere, and be priviliged for high quality education, food and entertainment. His poin of wiev on it was of course screwed up, but he got to expirienced it. Also saving people. Because saving people is a privilage.

If you struggle to keep yourself alive, you can't keep the others alive, unless you have a martyr complex. We, as animals, are programmed to keep ourselfs going no matter what. We have to be our own priorities, and if you can prioritiez others it's because you no longer need it for yourself.

Anyway, Jason saw how it is to be Bruce. To be a hero. But Bruce bever knew how it is to be Jason. How to be anyone that's not him. He can have empathy, he can try everything, but he could never understand. Some things you can know only if you expirienced. The same way I know I, however I want to, I will never really understand some things.

Also the whole thing with dying. That's important to. Jason knows how it is to die. He knows how it is to kill. Bruce doesn't know either.

Anyway, it's all kinda messy, but the point is - they could never see eye to eye in some matters. They can try, but especially after Jay's ressurection, they can never have a relationship we wants them to have, not in canon, at least.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

#batman #dc comics #jason todd #robin #red hood #dc #batfamily #bruce wayne #meta analysis #character meta #character analysis #onnahu's thoughts about Jason

[atxxzist]

sweetest lies | c.s (02)

prev // next // series m.list

pairing: choi san x f!reader

word count: 7.3k

warning: not any i can think of

a/n: not much drama but lots of trips down memory lane

in all honesty, you can't remember when the line between respect and infatuation started to blur when it came to yunho.

you met him at the age of twelve, just as you were about to enter junior high. you had found him crying outside the choi's residence one afternoon, and was shocked by the news; both of his parents' passing and that he was now one of them, because the choi only had one son and he was nothing like the sweet and obedient boy in front of you.

despite him being younger, you had a lot of respect for him because he was smart and treated everyone he ever came across with only nothing but kindness.

yunho wasn't only well mannered and pleasing to the eyes, but he was hardworking--a trait that made him incredibly easy to like, although you did felt bad at times because you were afraid he was pushing himself to meet the expectations of those around him.

but he was never fazed by any of it--the hard work, or the efforts he had to go to. he simply did it because he wanted to.

by the time he finished high school, he had enough trophies, medals, and certificates to fill his entire room.

yunho💕: can we please talk

the sigh that leaves you is both the contrasting combination of irritation but also relieved, because you weren't sure what was gonna happen after last night.

if you were gonna have to be the one to go out of your way to settle things or whatever they are at this point.

you leave him on seen just long enough to be petty, until another text comes.

yunho💕: i'll come to your workplace after you get out?

y/n: 👍

yunho is there and waiting for you just like he said he would, the moment you catch the other's gaze, you think he must've swallowed down some tension. he usually isn't one who's ever nervous about anything.

it's a lot of awkward fidgeting and humming under breaths until you two agree on a bench just outside of the office, just about when the area's cleared of most of your coworkers.

it's like an air of dreaded silence, considering you've never got into a fight with yunho before, the moment feels never-ending.

"h-how are you feeling?" he asks, everything about his voice to the question surprising you.

a part of you wishes he had said something else, or at least for the delivery to come out meaner just so you'll have another reason to get over him and not think about the million others why you can't.

"how do you think i'm feeling?" you reply, a little snappy in nature that yunho almost wants to be surprise by the tone, but he knows better than anyone that that's just how you are.

you have a way of showing emotions, often times flip flopping between vulnerable and cynical, the latter of which he always believe to be a defense mechanism.

"sorry..." he mumbles, like the word falling out of defeat. "i should've told you sooner. i mean... i was going to."

you can't help the scoff that slips despite yunho doing his very best to make the conversation as tame as a situation like this can be. but you suppose you also hold some rights to complain and be a bitch about it.

"yeah, but you didn't. i had to walk in on you and my own sister myself."

yunho recoils from the sentence, your delivery poking at something he's not sure what is, but he knows he don't like it.

"i didn't know you were coming," is all he says, calm in his voice but also ominous to a degree.

you cross your arms, continuing to stare ahead. the entire time, the both of you haven't looked at the other once.

"i was able to get off early and texted you like a bunch of times."

"i don't always have the constant need to check my phone, so i'm sorry."

he's apologizing, but there's an impatient edge to his voice that if you just continue pushing it, he will burst; at least it feels like it, the undertone of his response not sitting well with you.

a moment of unpleasant silence passes before you speak again.

"so it's true what san told me? all this time, you've always had someone else? and you've never thought of telling me any of it?" that same hurt and betrayal multiplying by the second just bringing up the reminder.

you add on, "and of all people, that someone is my sister? just when exactly did it even fucking happened?"

yunho opens his mouth to say something only to retreat with a sigh instead, waiting for just long enough in order for the appropriate words to strike.

"it just kind of happened naturally, i guess."

naturally. it stings more than it should, the visual in your head of the progression day by day as your sister's smile or small quirks catches the interests of yunho to the point he falls for her, and she falls in return.

that he sees what everyone else sees, and it's the part you hate the most.

the attraction toward one another built on a foundation similar to gravity where one cannot help but to be pulled toward each other. unlike you and yunho. even if you were magnet, he most likely still wouldn't stick.

no matter how much you try pushing the thought away; know that you're being immature and unreasonable, bitter is a feeling you've always acted on.

consumed by the jealousy and rage that your sister once again, took something from you.

"oh... i see," you murmur, yunho could've missed it if he wasn't next to you, but he can hear very clearly how your voice drops after, following with a dry chuckle that makes him turn head.

"tell me, what is so special after her?" you hold his gaze, your head now tilted as the mean and mocking look in your eyes says everything. "what made you fall this hard when i was the one who was actually by your side?"

now you're starting to really push it, yunho doing his best to contain the brewing temper but you have such a way with words that knows how to hit exactly where it hurts.

"she's really that fucking good, huh? that you--"

"--stop talking about your sister like that!"

the outburst takes you by surprise, your body flinching at the sudden crank of volume, yunho sounding and looking the most angry you've ever seen since almost 11 years ago when a group of boys were picking on you.

"can you for once, leave your sister's name out of your mouth?"

his heaving chest and stern look on his face is something entirely new. you didn't even think yunho could ever be this pissed off about anything before.

it leaves you speechless, your mind scrambling for something to say in return just to make yourself feel a little better.

"this is exactly why i couldn't tell you," he says, now calming down but still serious as he runs a hand through the front of his hair. "i knew you wouldn't be able to face the truth."

“because he didn’t want to hurt you,” he unveils, much to your stunned reaction. “he knew you’d lash out and act exactly the way you did when you saw them back at the party.”

"and what would that be?" you push, really setting yourself up for all the hurt and pain that's about to come because yunho is absolutely right.

"that me and your sister love each other."

his words sink in like a bad ache, your brain still refusing to accept the pain receptors but it's all very real. the heavy and uncomfortable sensation running through your chest and the curling of your grip as they tighten.

you don't wish to hear any more of how perfect they are for each other, or more specifically, how more perfect she is for him than you.

"but i love you, too."

it's awful and cringe and makes you regret it the second it comes out, but you literally couldn't think of anything else.

"no..." yunho talks under his breath, shaking his head. "i'm not sure you've ever really loved me."

you draw back slightly, the puzzled expression on like he's accused you of a crime you didn't commit.

"i don't think you love me," he finishes off.

yunho didn't want to tell you (just yet) for numerous reasons. the fact you wouldn't be able to accept the truth is one thing, but he mainly held it back for this long because he didn't want to hurt you.

no matter how frustrating you can be at times, often than most acting on impulse and letting the unreasonable voice in your head get the better of you, he didn't want to be another someone who had let you down.

disappointed you and tossed you away; and for your sister of all people.

he grew up with you and watched as you go from a somewhat lively and carefree person to the one you are today.

how, you actually used to love and care for your younger sister, always by her side to protect her and fend off anyone who thought any less of her.

he's watched and sat through dinners and social events of family members comparing the two of you, able to vividly recall the both embarrassed and sad look on your face when they'd all praise her instead.

how much prettier, smarter, and better she is than you.

and he was definitely there when your parents sidelined you for your sister's accomplishments, over the years also a witness to the relationship that soon turned sour and leaving a huge wall between you guys.

he can't remember the last time you two even spoke to one another without all the lingering tension and bitterness up in the air.

so he more than anyone knows how much of a sore spot just talking about your sister is, the prolonging of the revelation one that is to protect you from the hurt he knew you'd undoubtedly experience.

but he's afraid that it's been going on too long; the need to tear the band aid right off and tell you everything for what it is.

"of course i love you, yunho." your soft tone rips him from the thought and to the desperation in your eyes.

"if you love me then you would be happy for me."

you've never been shy of letting such a thing be known, whether saying it outright or making implications of it. yunho always well aware to the fact that you've been silently hoping he'd take matters into his own hands one day and ask you the long awaited question or say those three words.

but truth be told, even if it wasn't your sister, it would've been someone else.

not because he don't think you are wonderful and worth loving in your own little ways, but because ever since he turned 18 and graduated high school, his cognition much more developed and refined, he was sure of a suspicion he had quite some time ago: that you don't actually love him. at least not for the right reasons.

"how can i be happy for you when it's her of all people? you know how she makes me feel!"

that all or most of it is just to one-up your sister, this twisted game having turned into obsession and masked under the pretense of love, succeeding in convincing yourself to believe it as well.

"i know that you've spent all your life being compared to her, and i understand... but don't you think it's time to grow up a little and start facing those issues?" his voice turns a serious, reprimanding tone without coming off too harsh.

"i'm not some trophy to be won over to prove who's better, and just because i like your sister doesn't make you any less. i'm sorry that the adults were so awful to you growing up, but it's time you start loving yourself. not look to someone else for validation just to feel better temporarily, but i want you to be happy..."

he pauses to catch his breath, an empathetic expression washing over before closing it off.

"i should've told you sooner, i'm sorry. i was a coward. but i don't want to carry any more baggages or be responsible for someone else's entire self esteem. let's free ourselves... from each other."

you stay quiet and yunho's not sure what to make of the lack of reactions, but although he's said everything he's always wanted to, the guilt blooming in his chest weighs heavy; it's always been too easy to sympathize with you.

another reason he's sure made you cling onto him as hard as you did, was because he was really the only person to accept you for who you are.

yunho never asked for anything, or for you to change.

if someone was to tell you that one day, you'd go out of your way to look for san, you would've laughed and told them to go fuck themself.

but you're standing in front of the door to his condo--somehow surprisingly able to recall the location just from the trip earlier today, and silently going over everything currently wrong with your life and how you have no one else to talk to about your problems but san.

the one person you swore up and down to that you wouldn't even give the time of day to if you and him were the last people on earth, but now seeming like the only option.

you place a few knocks but for all you know, he might not even be home. he could be back at his parents' place or fucking off somewhere else.

the door comes apart when you were least expecting it, san's figure standing before you with his black shirt, sweatpants, and hooded beanie.

his rather dull pair of eyes turning a wide one when he sees it's you. it's not everyday that you'd come waddling through the front of his doorstep. or at all.

"i thought christmas is still a month away," he remarks lightheartedly, the comment honestly slipping before he can even fully process the strangeness of the situation, or the fact you obviously look like you had been crying.

"can i come in?" you ask, the soft, vulnerability of the question takes san a step back because he most definitely expected a snide comment in return.

"yeah, sure..." he replies hesitantly, widening the door and moving aside but unable to help but be suspicious that at any given moment, you just might come clear it’s all just a cruel joke.

you stay still in position, gaze fixated on the interior that you saw this morning until you hear the shutting of the door and snaps around.

"missed the place already?" he lets another one slip, a smirk at the corner of his lips that prompts an eye roll from you.

but he might just be doing it because he's not sure what to make of a conversation if you're both not spewing hateful things to each other's faces, or that he just remembered what he said to you this morning and feels just the slightest awful about it.

the complete and utter silence from you makes the scene both uneasy and unsettling, he lingers in the awkwardness for a few more seconds before opening his mouth, only for you to beat him with words that's been dying to get out.

"i'm uhm... i'm sorry," you utter lowly, sounding and appearing ashamed by the way your fingers fiddle with each other at your front, san almost can't believe it.

"pardon?"

"i'm sorry, about this morning."

because all it took for you to realize how pathetically nonexistent your social life is, or that you practically chased off anyone who has ever given the slightest fuck about you, is that other than yunho, you're not sure who else to confine in.

who can stand you and listen to your problems; and now that he's the cause of it, the lack of a support system you have is quite eye opening in a depressing sort of way.

"oh," he says, sounding similar to a whisper and eyes downcasting to the floor for a quick second. "it's fine, really. i didn't think too much of it."

not of what you said because you've definitely spewed worse things before, but he did think a lot about what he said and how carried away he got.

you might've called him a manwhore and told him to fuck off more times than he can count, and he'd retaliate with sensual remarks bordering offensive, but there seems to be some kind of unspoken ground rules between the two of you and he might've broken it.

he still grew up with you nonetheless and holds some weird, sentimental value over the fact.

you just nod, both of your body language so unusual and the atmosphere oddly pleasant.

he breaks the silence with a rather heartfelt apology, "i'm also sorry. that was a really mean thing to say."

"no." you shake your head to rebut. "you were right. i was just in denial."

your mind races back to the departure not even two hours ago, like you can almost hear yunho's voice through the flashback.

"you should probably start heading back. it's cold out here," yunho says, the swift glance at your attire makes him wonder how you're not shivering just yet.

"i can walk you to your car," he adds.

"i'll be fine."

your cold, cut-throat tone stops him dead in his track, yunho only able to stare as he tries to predict your next movement.

"you can go."

the words die in yunho's throat, a tiny protest on the horizon but he knows it's best if he leaves you alone for now. take the time to dwell in your own emotions as you try to process the changes, and eventually and hopefully, accept them.

he nods, clearing his throat the same time he stands up and takes one last look at you, giving into the last thing he wants to tell you.

"i hope you won't think of it as a loss, but instead, i want you to see it as an opportunity to find yourself."

"also, thank you for looking after me last night. if you didn't, i most definitely would've ended up on the news, or worse."

san's stoic expression soon morphs into a somewhat cocky smile at that, one eyebrow raising to complement it.

"this day cannot get any weirder. i mean, not that i'm complaining." he shrugs, and it makes you want to yell at him for ruining the moment.

"no, really. thanks to your stalkerish behavior, i was able to wake up in one piece," you snark playfully, half expecting him to be offended, but it has the opposite effect with his smile growing even bigger.

it's not the first time he so shamelessly takes pride in the fact.

most of your greetings or first words upon seeing him always within the line of "did you follow me?" given ever since your parents got acquainted with the neighbors next door and forced you kids to get along, choi san has had a knack for following you since the mere age of nine.

you still remember his much smaller figure back then trailing behind you and around the entire perimeter of the gated community, annoyingly pleading for you to play with him or else he's gonna wipe his boogers on you.

he was very much a kid of his words and had done exactly what he said he would when you told him to get lost, smudging your new shirt with what he'd call "shrek" because he was a disgusting nine year old boy who liked to name his boogers.

it was the first out of many that you made him cry, retaliating with a hard push to his shoulders that sent his frail body to the cement, and in turn, got you in trouble.

(if you try that now, you'll get it handed to you)

it was the start of your dislike for him that only seemed to grow the older you two got. because san went from being a defenseless little kid whose most threatening act was to tell your parents, to a middle schooler with wider, meaner vocabularies, and by the time he entered high school, you practically had no chance against him.

if he wanted to corner you in a room or put another of his snot on your new shirt, you were just gonna have to put up with it.

"how do you, by chance, always know where i'm at?" you ask genuinely, thinking back to all the instances he just so happened to be there.

"you're predictable," he simply says, making you raise an eyebrow in response, wondering if that's the case or if he just pays way too much attention to you, which, you never fully understood.

you both existed to piss off the other person, but san always knew more about you than the other way around.

"hmm," you dismiss it with a hum, followed by a pretentious act of checking the surrounding because you have a big favor to ask him, and your lips at the moment feels like they don't want to cooperate.

"san," you call even somewhat sweet-sounding, it might be the calmest you've ever said his name, watching as some kind of amusement takes over him and he reacts with a head tilt, hands shoved inside the pockets of his pants, replying with a cool, "yeah?"

"can i stay over? just for tonight?"

you almost expect him to crack a snarky comment, something in the fashion of how he's been waiting for this day where you practically get on your knees and beg for his help, but where you're predictable, san is quite the surprise.

he doesn't drop any smart comments or take the very tempting chance of rubbing your helplessness in your face.

he just nods and proceeds to state, "but you're gonna have to tell me why you're here."

you scoff.

"you literally already know why i'm here."

you think you're gonna go crazy if you have to retell (and relive) yours and yunho's 'relationship', and how disillusioned you were in all of its expectation.

"yes, but i'm gonna need to know how you managed to piss off so many people for you to show up here of all places."

you didn't have many friends growing up, san recalling you being tough as a nail and frightening most of the kids away, girls and boys.

most of the time, if you weren't busy sniffing yunho up who was right by your side, you were alone at a table ripping stickers from sticker sheets and decorating the journal he's seen you with since the first day he got moved to the same school.

he still doesn't know what's in it, but he knows you gave a kid a black eye once when they tried to steal it.

the only other people he's ever seen you with besides yunho, were hongjoong and seonghwa.

it was during his first ever college party, an invitation by a fellow classmate and now friend, mingi.

he might've had far too many drinks that night and a small makeout session that left his shirt wrinkled and neck stained with kiss marks that he just needed to find a restroom and get cleaned up; it being the first party and all.

that was how he winded up near the hallway of you and two males, one of them leaning on the wall with a drink in his hand, and the other debating with you as both of your voices fight to become the dominant one.

none of you guys noticed him as he quickly slipped into the found restroom, too entirely distracted by your own interests.

he assumed they were sophomores just like you, and he was right.

he wasn't as surprised that you were even capable of making new friends, but more so at the fact that yunho wasn't there.

probably the only instances he'd see you at a social or public event without yunho was when you were with them, sometimes even using either hongjoong or seonghwa to locate your whereabouts because you were whatever they were at.

his and your friend group even started banters on the occasion and just do stupid party shit together sometimes.

but by the time you were about to graduate and leave school, you stopped hanging out with them for some reason he never dared to ask.

it was a bummer for sure because san's never seen anyone just click with you as much as they did.

"it's complicated," you tell him when he finally brought up the question, seated across from you on the single sofa while you take occupancy of the big, modular one.

similar to how you've dealt with most of your problems, you don't like talking about it or reopening wounds of the past. but if you're gonna be using san as a getaway, you figure you owe him at least an answer.

something about his current state and attentiveness a telltale sign that you can trust him. though to be frank, you never felt threatened or endangered with san having so many knowledge of you in the palm of his hand. oddly.

you tell him of the last conversation you had with hongjoong before the both of you declared you two were better off without each other.

the conversation a heated one, but neither about stupid politics or gross food combinations.

one that ended nastily and with a lot of bad feelings that leaves enough grudge to fill an entire room, unable to bear the sight of the other for more than a minute at most.

"tonight. at chan's party. he said he can hook up some equipments and i can just bring my laptop. so it's like a reveal party or whatever," hongjoong informs over the phone.

"oh shit, tonight?" you repeat, pacing around your room to find something to wear.

"yeah."

"i uh... i can't," you break the news, catching yourself in the mirror and recoiling almost immediately because you know how much of a shit friend you're about to sound. "i promised yunho we'd catch a movie. i'm actually getting ready right now."

the silence from hongjoong's end makes you nervous, but it wouldn't be the first time you blew him and seonghwa off for yunho.

you realize that day, you have a limit, and it would only be fair that so does others.

"it's just a movie. can't you reschedule?"

the shift of tone going from cheerful and excited to impatient takes you by surprise, having to scramble quickly for what to say in response.

"i can't. yunho's gonna be busy for the rest of the week."

"okay? so am i. it's probably still gonna be in theaters for the next couple of weeks or so anyway."

"i already said i'm going and we're leaving in like 20 minutes," you say, the annoyance in your voice very clear to hongjoong.

"it's a fucking movie, y/n," he states, the more careful tone from before all gone, unable to believe you. "you're acting like it's not gonna be available online a month or two from now."

you fume through your nose, time running shorter as you spend it arguing with hongjoong over the phone.

"and it's a fucking song, hongjoong. show me on your laptop or send it some other time. beside, i already told you i'm not going to another college party for the rest of the year. they're always so filthy, filled with stupid people, and i always end up making bad decisions."

hongjoong scoffs from the other side and you don't miss how dry and sarcastic it sounds.

"i'm asking you to come listen to a song i've been working on for almost two years, not for you to come snort some fucking coke."

"well it's too late. you should've called earlier."

"maybe i should've, but i also thought you were gonna be better than this and not leave your friends for a guy who barely gives a shit about you."

granted, you both did say a lot of fucked up things that day that neither can take back, and you were, undoubtedly, furious at the time (and especially at that comment) and only thought of how to hurt him the same in return.

the guilt passed with time, but you wouldn't ever tell him that you knew you were in the wrong. everything all your fault because you always placed yunho above them despite knowing that deep down, the two cared for you and treated you like family.

they always looked out for you at all parties and never pressured you to do anything you didn't want to. all the stupid, bad decisions were by your own choice because you were too sad and depressed and didn't want to hear any more of your sister's acceptance to one of the big three universities, nor read another email from one of your professors about withdrawing the class before you'd most likely end up with an f.

but you're too prideful, selfish, and a bit ashamed, you won't ever admit it to hongjoong's face. especially not after all these years.

"that's it?" san exclaims after you finished.

"well, yes."

"if you know you were wrong, you should just apologize. nothing good about prolonging some bad blood. especially when it could be easily mended."

you admit the scene is a bit bizarre; san giving you advice and you sitting calmly as you try to digest his words that doesn't trigger a nerve, because for once, it actually sounds somewhat reasonable, though unrealistic (according to you).

but you suppose it's what this night is gonna be all about.

"it's not that easy," you counter, "a sudden apology all these years is... weird."

san chuckles, picking up the manner in which you curl your hands together in your lap as you said that.

it's hard to take your tough act seriously sometimes, because he can see the guilt or fear in your eyes and that you just want to give into it.

"yeah, and look at where that behavior got you," he says, not mean or intending to hurt. if anything, he actually takes sympathy on you "stuck talking to someone you don't even like."

you twitch an eye for a second at that.

"but i'm not having too bad of a time so far."

"hmm," he hums, quick to move the topic along. "i suppose you haven't eaten?"

"i had lunch... a couple hours ago."

well, it was more a snack that you had gotten from the vending machine because there was no time this morning.

"i could probably whip up something real quick."

you watch as he stands up and trails to the kitchen, opening and closing cabinets left and right before a smile quirks up on his lips.

"buldak or shin ramen?" he waves both of the packages as he awaits an answer.

"shin ramen. i don't feel like destroying my stomach tonight."

he nods it off with a light snicker, your lips puckering from the silence after and deciding to throw in a lighthearted tease.

"i thought you were gonna be making steaks or call for delivery."

he looks up from the pot he was washing and sends a smirk your way, completely unfazed.

"i'm a 23 year old guy, of course i don't know how to cook. but if you want to call for delivery, suit yourself."

"if you're gonna be living by yourself, it would be beneficial to learn how. but i'm good with just ramen for now," you reply, eyes moving away to wander the area before fixating on san again.

"you have any extra towels?" you ask.

"should be in the bathroom."

"okay. then i'm gonna head in for a quick shower while you do that."

you can see his nodding from where you're at, stopping as you have the bathroom door halfway open and looking over your shoulder to bother him with one last question.

"uh, do you have any extra shirt and shorts i can borrow? just for tonight. i'll return it by morning. i've just literally been wearing this thing for almost two days now," you refer to the red dress, not as satin or clean as it was yesterday.

your boss almost went into cardiac arrest when you showed up with it, considering the strict dress code, but he took pity of a story you made up and was honestly just relieved you even showed up at all—though you did get a written warning for the late arrival.

"i should. you can go to my room and pick them out for yourself."

you're a tad taken aback by the freewill but thanks him anyway before going into his room and taking the first black t-shirt and shorts you see because it feels wrong in every way even if it isn't.

you catch the sight of him humming a tune under his breath and rocking his head to it before you disappear off into the bathroom, releasing the giggle you've been holding.

"this is definitely overcooked," you pass the comment while examining the soft, mushy, yellow strands of noodles in front of you.

"i might've gotten distracted," san explains, sitting in the stool beside you on the kitchen island where he might've been for a while, it makes you think back to the soft call of your name after you finally got out of the shower and stuffed yourself into his clothings.

"i gotta give it to you. it takes a real lack of skill to mess up something as simple as ramen," you poke fun at him, the words more casually sounding than anything because you're used to putting him down, but still taking a sip of the broth nonetheless because he worked hard on it--more or less.

he smiles it off, and even while guzzling down the noodles, you don't miss the way his gaze lowers to your chest, and then legs, prompting you to cower just slightly because it's just you and san in a big, almost empty condo.

san's good at making you feel a lot of things, but nervous and flustered usually weren't the cases.

"you look good in it," he says casually, your heart bursting in relief because you have no idea what the hell you thought he was gonna say.

you look down at his shirt you're wearing before meeting his eyes again, mustering an unnatural sounding, "thanks."

you return to your food and let the thought die, but san's gaze burning the side of your face makes you snap back.

"what's wrong?" you ask, and you can see him tensing up from the question.

"so what after this?" he breaks it clear and direct, though filled with joy just sitting and talking to you, the air never this nice and pleasant before, he's also curious to an extent. about you and the steps you're gonna take.

you shrug, releasing the spoon and chopsticks in your hold before engaging in a silent stare-off with him.

"i haven't given it much thought. i was kind of busy burying my relationship with yunho, whatever that is."

he lets a quiet hum of acknowledgement coast by, figuring it's fair enough you would need time, only for you to start talking again.

"but there are things i've always wanted to do, too," you tell him a little shy, because it must sound crazy that you also have your own dreams and wants beside yunho's attention.

yunho was many sources of your happiness, but he also held you back in many ways. not he the person, but the ideals and expectaions you've built for him.

you've had a lot of chances and opportunities to better yourself, and you threw them all away for a fantasy in your head.

true friends, ambitions, some sort of true calling that you're not existing just to exist--you don't have any of those at the age of 24.

"yeah? and what are those things?" he asks, so much enthusiam, you want to believe he actually cares what you have to say.

"it's not that big of a dream or goal," you say with a chuckle, like he might find it ridiculous. "i just want to... travel."

you await his reaction, your heart wrapped in a foreign warmth when he just smiles.

"a dream is a dream. no matter how small or big," he comforts you, "but traveling is definitely not anything small. where do you want to go?"

"everywhere," you answer, "i want to go to many places... but preferably anywhere but here."

he cranks an eyebrow.

"you're not planning on running away, are you?" he questions, the delivery innocent enough but also slightly concerned because he thinks there's a chance that might be exactly what you plan to do.

"no," you reply, giggling only shortly.

"i hope you won't think of it as a loss, but instead, i want you to see it as an opportunity to find yourself."

you're still mad at yunho and hate how he chose your sister over you, but if anything, you hate how reasonable and logical he still managed to sound amid all of it.

that you pretty much placed everything else on the backburner just for the hope that his reciprocated love would fix the sorrow and unhappiness you experience on a daily basis.

"just brainstorming," you assure, "thinking about what i can do, now that i don't have to consider yunho and leaving him."

leaving him for your heart's desire, so afraid that you would let the chance slip right through the palm of your hand if you did. but now, there's nothing left to lose and you suppose it's a conflicted and warped up feeling of freedom.

san nods to it, snapping himself out of the trance and catching just how immersed he was to every word that you said.

"i should probably finish the noodles before it gets cold," you say, once you realize how long it's just been sitting there while you two talked.

you get two gulps out of it before you're pulled away by a question.

"why do you care so much about what others have to say about you and your sister?"

he's aware it's a bit blunt and inappropriate considering how well it's going, but he doesn't say it to be mean but because he wants to understand you.

he's been there and has seen as much as yunho have, watching you throw nasty glares your sister's way or growing irritated at the drop of her name.

he knows there's psychology behind how all of this works (that he's unfortunately lacking of knowledge about), but he wants to hear it from you. why you always put yourself down and chooses to live in your sister's shadow when you're as equally capable.

"you wouldn't understand," you mumble, refusing to look him straight in the eyes although he isn't shying away from it one bit, going to pick at the noodles with your utensils.

"if you tell me, i might."

the shift of atmosphere is heavy, the air no longer lighthearted but now serious as silence fills it briefly.

"is it because you're insecure from always being pitted against her?"

you still don't answer, instead taking a bite out of your bowl and hoping he'll just let it pass because you're aware in some ways that you're gonna sound unreasonable, childish, and petty.

just an older sister jealous of her younger one because she's better in every way.

but you've always been one to sit and brew in your own emotions and anger until they eventually turn into something much worse.

"if you want some help, you need to talk to me. i understand you might not want to, but i promise i won't run off with the information or use it against you. i'm much better than what you give me credits for."

you swallow and drop the utensils, facing him on and releasing a sigh.

"yes," you say, "i care so much about what others have to say about me and her because i already know they'll just talk down on me."

"and why would you assume that?" he asks.

you scoff, as if he's making you state the obvious.

"because i always fall behind on everything. even small things like socializing and making friends comes so much more naturally to her," you say, strong at first but tapering out eventually. "but it's not as easy for me... i-i find it hard talking to people or trying to make friends."

and even when you do, you seem to have a habit of driving them away.

san takes a deep breath and stares at you in pity.

"but you shouldn't be measuring your worth based on your sister's accomplishments or setting her as the standard. comparison sucks, i understand. and i know it's easier said than done, but you're great in your own ways. trust me."

you don't say anything back, not because you don't want to, but it's how your heart takes a dive and leaves you speechless hearing san tell you that.

a light pink blush makes an appearance on his cheeks but he's quick to move it along with a clear of his throat.

"what i meant to say is, i've been there before. you really think i was spared any of it when yunho of all people is my stepbrother and i'm the biological son?"

you suppose if she was your stepsister instead, it might be a lot worse.

but with san, he's always been nonchalant like nothing ever bothers him. it would be a lot easier for him to dismiss it.

"well if only i could be as carefree as you," you mumble.

"it definitely bothered me at first, but i didn't see why i should be losing sleep over it. me and yunho are two very different people after all who does our own things. i'm proud of what he's achieved so far, and he's always had my back when needed."

when the night drags on and you're both getting too tired for overwhelming conversations, you go to bed in the spare bedroom after helping him clean up and let today's event sink in. so many things to process at once.

despite all of yours and san's history and indifferences, you can admit that there may be a thing or two you can learn from him.

so unusual seeing his irritating and cunning self turn so much more soft and empathetic, you're starting to feel bad for all the times you've cursed his name over simple mishaps.

thinking back to what he said earlier and being surprised he even had the kindness to do so.

"comparison sucks, i understand. and i know it's easier said than done, but you're great in your own ways. trust me."

that san would be able to make one of your worst days into something a lot less worse and even comforting.

then you think about yunho, wondering if he's right about the fact you never loved him, before drifting off.

--

when san wakes up in the morning, he almost forgot you had stayed over until he makes way into the kitchen and the yellow sticky note plastered on the front door takes his attention.

thanks for letting me stay the night :) you're kind of pleasant to be around when you don't think with your dick. btw i left your clothes in the laundry basket. see you around i guess - y/n

next // series m.list

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#ateez angst #san x reader #choi san x reader #ateez x reader #ateez series #yunho x reader #fic: sweetestlies

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

hi, i was wondering if you could perhaps write modern!sihtric fanfic with fake dating trope? to be more clear, maybe there's an upcoming family event in reader's life, like someone's wedding idk, and her parents are nagging her about being single so she asks her best friend (and our boyyy) to act as her boyfriend for the night, just so the parents can't complain and try to find her some unwanted company? just lots of fluff and family comedy! if you don't feel like writing this it's totally okay!! take care <33

Warnings: flufffff

Pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f)

Summary: see request!

Word count: 5.4k

Note: I had so much fun with this, thank you! also; you didn't tell me if reader and our boi actually like each other so, to make everything more awkward, of course they have feelings for each other.

Taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylas-the-grim @heimtathurs @bubbles-for-all-of-us @valeskafics @andakth

'Perks of dating me.'

******************

'You want me to do what?' Sihtric laughed as he laid down on his bed.

'It's not fucking funny!' you hissed and punched his shoulder, 'please, Sihtric, I beg you. Please pretend for the night. One night.'

'You want me to pretend to be your boyfriend? At a wedding party? Of your aunt?'

'I never said boyfriend.'

'Date then, whatever,' Sihtric rolled his eyes before he laughed again, 'are you serious?'

'Yes! My parents keep nagging me that I have to bring someone.'

'Look, I'd love to help you, but I'm not sure about this. I'm not exactly the type a mother wants to see her daughter with, am I?'

'What do you mean?' you frowned. You thought Sihtric was incredibly handsome, you saw no problem.

'Look at me, sweetheart,' Sihtric said, 'I'm covered with scars, I have tattoos on my fingers and one in my neck that goes up to the side of my head, I carry a knife with me at all times and I am known to get into fists fights at the McDonald's parking lot at 3 in the morning because they are out of nuggets and I had one too many to drink. And I got you into violent videogames,' he grinned and nodded to the paused tv screen.

You had to give it to him, he had a point. You thought he was handsome, but then you did have a thing for "bad boys" so to speak. Your mother would be upset, your father would probably get unwell and your grandma might actually pass away if they'd see you with Sihtric. But Sihtric was your only hope for the night.

'Please,' you begged again, 'Sihtric, if you don't go with me my parents will find me a date.'

'What?'

'They heard that some guy named Finan, who lives across from them, has a thing for me. They desperately want me to date him, or anyone really. So I said I already am seeing someone, which was obviously a lie. If I can't get you to come with me, they'll ask him! But I don't want to date him!'

'Okay, I'll go,' Sihtric groaned and rubbed his eyes. He was not going to see another man by your side.

'Really?'

'Yes,' he sighed, 'but we need to come up with a story. It's weird to just bring a random date to a wedding, is it not?'

'I agree, okay, so… what's our story?'

'Gods,' Sihtric snorted, 'I have no idea.'

'Look, the most important thing is,' you said, 'we have to be convincing as a couple.'

But that was the least of your problems. You actually liked Sihtric more than just a friend. And unbeknownst to you, he liked you a lot too. Way more than friends. But as you were both too afraid to ruin the friendship you had, you never told each other. 

You had met Sihtric by accident through your mutual friend Uhtred, who you were supposed to grab a drink with a quite some months ago. Uhtred had accidentally double booked and had asked Sihtric to meet up at the same day, same spot, same time, which he didn't realise. So Uhtred was surprised, but also amused, to see both of his friends suddenly show up. And Uhtred didn't say it, but he saw there was instant chemistry between the two of you, as it took only 30 minutes before you both bickered like an old married couple about which power ranger was the strongest.

And as you lived on your own, your parents never knew about Sihtric, because why would they? He was just a friend.

******************

'Okay,' you sighed nervously as you sat next to Sihtric in his car, 'remember we have to be convincing.'

'Yeah, yeah,' Sihtric smiled, unable to keep his eyes off you while he waited for a traffic light.

He thought he had died and gone to Valhalla when he saw you walk up to his car when he came to pick you up. He loved your usual style, but as this was a wedding, you had to dress up. And he thought you looked like a Disney princess with your sleeveless black corset top accompanied by a long, blush coloured velvet skirt while wearing black, high heels underneath. 

If he wasn't such a wuss, he would have proposed to you right at the spot. 

And you were equally as stunned when you saw Sihtric, who was for once not dressed in his regular black cargo jeans and a flannel. Today he was wearing a black, made to size, tuxedo which matched his dark hair. The white blouse underneath his jacket wasn't completely buttoned up, showing a part of his clavicles and his Mjölnir pendant, which you thought looked very sexy. The sides of his head were freshly shaved, exposing the tattoo that ran up to the side of head, he was wearing his regular amount of rings and to your surprise, instead of fancy shoes, he wore his regular black leather boots, which made him instantly look rougher than a usual wedding date. You were head over heels, but it's not like you were going to tell him that. Actually, you hadn't even grasped the fact that you had to pretend to like him.

You had agreed on a backstory, so you knew he had to pretend to be your date, but in your panic to not have a random date as your plus one, you completely forgot that you had to really act as a couple. And you became instantly nervous once you realised it.

'You look pretty,' Sihtric said, making you even more nervous as he pulled up to the wedding venue.

'Thank you,' you blushed heavily, and you thanked the gods for Sihtric wearing sunglasses so he couldn't tell when he smiled at you.

'You look handsome,' you said with a dry mouth as he stopped the car.

'You think?' he lowered his sunglasses to wink at you. 

You tried to open the door of his car as fast as you could, feeling your cheeks heat up again, but you forgot that Sihtric's car had this stupid child lock that he can't seem to fix, so you just desperately tried to unlock the door, with no success, looking like a fly stuck in a window.

'Hold on,' Sihtric sighed as he took off his sunglasses, 'you know that door doesn't work like that, you have to pull the-,' he clicked his tongue and leaned over, unlocking the door for you. And to make everything worse, he smelled nice too. Fuck.

*******************

Before you reached the door to the venue you had already tripped over your skirt, twice. It was a slim fitted and long skirt, and it kept getting stuck under your heel as you walked up the stairs. Luckily, Sihtric was already playing the part of being a good date and he had caught you both times as he had hooked your arm in his to walk up to the party.

'Shit,' you sighed, 'I'm going to rip it if it gets stuck once more.' You felt embarrassed but were thankful that Sihtric had caught you twice.

'Wait,' Sihtric said. He kneeled down and lifted his right trouser leg up slightly, pulling out a dagger, which was in a holster around his ankle, covered by his leather ankle boot. And before you could protest he cut a perfectly straight split in the side of your skirt, which went up to just above your knee. Without saying another word, he placed the dagger back in his holster, rolled the trouser leg down and zipped up his black boot again.

'What the fuck,' you muttered as he stood back up, holding his arm out to you again with a grin.

'Better?' he asked as you continued your walk up the stairs, without tripping this time.

'Actually, yeah,' you giggled, 'thank you,' you smiled at him.

'Perks of dating me,' Sihtric winked and licked his lips before he grinned again.

'Remember,' you said nervously as you stepped through the door, 'we have to be convincing.'

'Do we have a limit?' he asked in a serious manner, 'do you have a limit? Like you don't want me to do certain things like, you know, things couples do?' he shrugged lightly.

'Huh? No, no,' you felt stressed about the whole party, 'I trust you, just- just be convincing.'

'Don't worry about me, I'll be convincing,' Sihtric said and gave you a cheeky smile as he walked you up to the happy newlyweds. And he heard you cough lightly when his hand slid down to your lower back.

He was going to enjoy tonight, finally behaving the way he always wanted to with you, but never could out of fear of ruining your friendship.

'Hey! Look who it is!' your uncle cheered, nudging your aunt when he saw you walk in.

'Hi,' you said shyly, 'yes, it's me,' you smiled and gave the happy couple a hug to congratulate them.

'And who is this then?' your aunt asked, looking Sihtric up and down.

'This is Sihtric,' you smiled as you blushed, 'my friend. I mean boyfriend, my date,' you blurted out. Your uncle gave you a confused look as he shook hands with Sihtric.

'Jack of all traits, sir,' Sihtric smiled, 'congratulations.'

'Thank you, son,' your uncle smiled at him, impressed by his firm handshake. You watched Sihtric congratulate your aunt with a polite kiss to her cheek, to which she even blushed, and as your uncle made a remark about Sihtric's pendant and engaged into a conversation, your aunt nudged your arm.

'Honey, if I wasn't married,' she whispered and nodded to Sihtric, 'I'd climb that man and ride him like a bull.'

'Auntie!' you gasped, to which Sihtric and your uncle looked up. You coughed quickly and waved that everything's fine as you tried to fight the thought that your aunt, who was 67 by the way and just married her second husband, would lure Sihtric into her bed. You thought you were going to throw up in your mouth for a moment.

Your aunt laughed at your flustered face and told you to go to the dining room, as dinner would soon be served, but she didn't let you walk before she said you should have Sihtric as dessert later. You sighed with big eyes and walked as fast as you could, making Sihtric almost run after you as he tried to escape your uncle's endless conversation about religion.

'Babe!' Sihtric called after you and he chuckled, 'wait up.'

You stopped walking. Not because he asked you to, but because you felt your knees weaken when he called you babe, and if you had put another foot forward you would've lost your balance on those ridiculous high heels. You hadn't thought this plan through. You really hadn't.

'Hey,' he said as he stood next to you, 'you okay? You look a little… startled?'

'Yeah, it's just… my aunt. She's very cheeky for her age,' you smiled painfully, 'let's just go find a seat. I'm starving.'

'Gods, me too,' Sihtric said and he grabbed your hand, being the good date/boyfriend he is, or whatever he was supposed to be tonight, he didn't care, 'I wonder what's for dessert,' he said, after which he immediately had to catch you again as you somehow twisted your ankle.

******************

You were nervously fidgeting with your skirt while Sihtric looked completely calm, sitting back in his chair with his arm around your shoulder, sipping some wine they just served. He seemed to be completely oblivious to the table across from you, which had all your teenage nieces, and they were giggling and blushing as they stared at your date. And you couldn't blame them, you felt exactly the same, but you couldn't show it.

'Hey,' Sihtric startled you when he spoke softly in your ear, 'you gotta loosen up, baby. You'll make everyone think you don't want to be with me if you keep this face up,' he chuckled lightly as his nose nuzzled your ear briefly. You felt dizzy enough already, and alcohol made you sick, how could you possibly loosen up?

'Sorry,' you said after you took a deep breath, 'I just… I didn't think this through. This was a bad idea, wasn't it?'

'You feel it's a bad idea?' he asked, concerned.

'Don't you?'

'No,' Sihtric smiled, 'I'm having fun. Your family's really something. I just watch that guy,' he said, pointing at your younger nephew, 'stuff his mouth with thirteen breadsticks. Thirteen!' 

You snorted and shook your head, suddenly feeling relaxed as you remembered that Sihtric always made you feel safe and comfortable, which is one of the things you loved about him.

'I guess you're right,' you smiled, 'we should have fun, right?'

'Exactly,' Sihtric smirked, 'there's free food and free alcohol, and I have you by my side, what more could I want?'

'Well, well,' a familiar harsh voice sounded behind you, and Sihtric watched your eyes grow wide, 'my daughter with a boyfriend? I thought I'd never see the day!'

You turned around and looked up to see your mother towering over you, with your father behind her and your grandma in the middle. Your mother smiled politely at Sihtric but her eyes told you she was going to keep an eye on him all night. And when Sihtric turned his head, to shove his seat back and stand up, you thought your mother was going to faint upon the sight of the tattoo on his head, and she grabbed your grandma's arm.

'Hi,' Sihtric smiled, you were surprised he kept his cool so well, 'my name is Sihtric.'

'Sihtric?' your mother feigned a smile as she shook his hand, 'and what is your job?'

'My job?' Sihtric asked, a little confused by the random question, 'I'm a stripper, lady,' he grinned.

'Sihtric!' you said as you jumped up.

'What?' your mother's face turned pale as she clutched onto your grandma, who was partly deaf, praise the lords.

'A stripper?' your dad frowned.

'No, he is not!' you hissed.

'Oh, no,' Sihtric pretended to be shocked, 'I mean, I strip cars, you know, before they get demolished. My job is to strip the car of anything that can be recycled,' he grinned, knowing exactly what he had done; riling your parents up and possibly sending your grandma to her grave early if she had heard it.

'Oh, goodness,' your mother sighed, and she went to sit across from you at the table. You watched your grandmother stare with disgust at Sihtric's necklace and she made a cross gesture before your father walked her over to her seat.

'He looks like a rat,' your grandma muttered.

This was going to be a long dinner.

****************

'You just had to do that?' you whispered when dinner was finally served.

'What do you speak of?' Sihtric frowned with a smirk. And gods, he looked handsome.

'You are evil,' you said, failing to hide your smile.

'And you loved to see your mother panic,' he grinned and pressed a kiss to your cheek. Which made you blush and you heard the entire table of younger nieces sigh as they had witnessed the quick peck.

'Oh,' Sihtric chuckled as he looked over at the table with youngsters, 'I see you may have competition tonight,' he joked.

'They have been staring at you the whole time already, but I guess you were too busy watching little Edward stick breadsticks in his mouth.'

'And an interesting event it was,' Sihtric said, 'but, if you saw me staring at that kid, that means you have been staring at me too,' he spoke softly as he leaned in. 

Your mother watched with horror as Sihtric leaned his face against yours for a moment as he spoke, and she shuddered at the thought of what kind of vile words may come out of the mouth of that savage looking man. And when she saw how his hand reached up to your neck, and his fingertips trailed over your bare shoulders, she violently kicked your leg under the table.

'Oww!' you yelled, looking shocked and angry at your mother. Sihtric frowned at the sudden moment and saw you rubbed your leg, and he quickly undersood what had happened. He figured your mother had seen him touch you, and she was not a fan. So naturally, he would make everything worse.

'Are you okay honey bun?' Sihtric asked, louder than he had to, causing half of the room to turn their faces to you and the table with youngsters squealed at the nickname he called you.

'Yes,' you blushed, 'thank you, s-sweetheart.' 

You knew you had to step up your game if you wanted to be as convincing as Sihtric was. 

'I just got a cramp in my leg,' you lied, giving your mother a mean stare.

'A cramp?' Sihtric said, still speaking a little too loud, 'again?' he clicked his tongue, 'you had leg cramp in bed last night too, right, baby?' he glanced quickly at your mother before he continued, 'and this morning as well.'

You felt your face heat up and your mouth went dry, so you quickly reached for the glass of water and gulped it down in one go, and you almost spat it out when you noticed it before Sihtric grabbed the glass.

'No!' Sihtric quickly grabbed the glass out of your hands, 'that is not water, love, it's white wine!'

'I figured,' you said with a bitter face and coughed, 'I thought it was water.' 

'No,' Sihtric chuckled lightly and quickly poured you some water, 'here, drink this.'

You drank the water just as fast as you had downed that glass of wine, but you still felt thirsty, because Sihtric was looking and behaving way hotter than you could handle.

'I need some air,' you said, pulling your corset uncomfortably, and you got up.

'Babe,' Sihtric said, genuinely concerned and he ran after you, much to your mother's disgrace.

'He looks like a nice young man,' your father nudged your mother with a smile as he watched Sihtric run after you, 'do you remember when you'd get a leg cramp in bed when we-,' suddenly your dad froze and dropped his breadstick when he realised what obscenity Sihtric had meant.

*****************

'Hey,' Sihtric called after you. You heard him but you really needed air, so you ran as fast and clumsily as you could to the terrace, where you quickly leaned over the small, brick wall, and just as Sihtric reached you, you threw up.

'Gods,' Sihtric said, quickly grabbing your hair to hold it out of your face, 'honey,' he sighed and stroked your back, 'it's okay.' Sihtric knew for a fact you didn't like alcohol, not because you didn't like it, but because it simply made you sick. A few sips was okay, but a whole glass was a big nope, and he hoped he had pulled the glass from your lips in time, but unfortunately.

'Are you okay?' he asked once you finally faced him and sat down. He was quick to hand you the handerchief he had in his tuxedo pocket, and he gave you the water bottle he had already snatched off a table when he ran after you. You wiped your lips rinsed your mouth a few times before you drank the remaining water.

'Thank you,' you smiled before you buried your face in your hands. You felt like crying.

'Hey,' Sihtric whispered, noticing you were visibly upset, and he wrapped you in his strong arms, 'what's wrong, baby?'

You had no idea why he kept his act up even when no one was around, but you didn't care, you needed it right now.

'This whole thing, this plan, this party, my parents,' you sniffled, 'it's just so embarrassing!'

'Why?' he asked as he pushed a strand of hair behind your ear and he cupped your cheeks, 'tell me, sweetheart.'

'My mom… she always complains about everything. My job, my clothes, my hair, my fucking shoes, my house, the men I've dated, obviously now she's trying to make your life a living hell tonight. Nothing is ever good enough for her. I'm so tired of it and it's so embarrassing. I'm a grown woman! Yet she still feels the need to interfere with my life.'

Sihtric watched you intensely as you ranted, and he felt himself fall even more in love with you with every word you spoke.

'I knew bringing you was a bad idea in the end, but I had no one else,' you said, 'and I'm so sorry to bring you into this bullshi-'

Before you could continue your rant, which seemingly had no ending, Sihtric covered your mouth with his hand.

'Baby,' he whispered, 'listen to yourself. You knew bringing me would stir up some shit,' he smiled, 'and you're right, it happened. But I'm here now, and I'm not going anywhere. So why not just make the most of it?'

'You mean like… make it even worse?'

'Exactly,' he grinned, 'I don't care. Your mother already made up her mind about me without getting to know me,' he shrugged, 'so I will be delighted to live up to her horrible idea about me.'

*********************

'Okay, ready?' Sihtric asked as he held your hand.

'Yeah,' you smiled as you looked back into the dinner room. You were still a little nervous about the new plan, but knowing Sihtric had your back meant the world to you.

'Okay,' he smiled and he led you back to your seat.

Your father shifted uncomfortably as he saw your hair was a little messy and Sihtric's handkerchief was missing from his tuxedo pocket, and he feared Sihtric had given you leg cramp again.

'You look pale,' you grandma rudely remarked. She meant well, but as she was old, she had no filter anymore.

'Thanks, grandma,' you smiled weakly, knowing she had a reason for her harshness.

'I think she looks beautiful,' Sihtric said with a smile, making the table of youngsters sigh.

You smiled back at him as he grabbed your hand under the table, squeezing it lightly.

'No, she looks rough,' your mother just had to give you another kick while you were already down. And that was all you needed to get fully onboard with Sihtric's plan.

'Yeah,' you looked at Sihtric before you looked at your plate, 'Sihtric likes it rough,' you sighed as you picked up your fork and casually started to eat.

'Sweet Jesus,' your mother cried out softly while your father dropped his knife and excused himself. In the corner of your eyes you saw Sihtric had a grin on his face and he leaned in to you.

'How did you know I like that?' he whispered, to which you almost downed another glass of white wine.

*****************

'So,' one of your older nieces turned to you, 'when are you getting married?

'Me?' you frowned.

'Soon,' Sihtric helped you out, wrapping his arm around your shoulder, 'ain't that right, baby girl?' he said as he emptied his fifth mini bowl of salted peanuts. He really was going to eat all he could, just because it was free, and your mother looked at him as if he was a pig.

'Oh, are you engaged already?' she asked, to which your mother snapped her head to you.

'Oh, no,' you smiled, 'he hasn't asked me yet,' you rolled your eyes, 'you know how men are.'

'Oh, I know,' your niece laughed, 'how long have you been together?'

'Six months,' you said.

'Eight months,' Sihtric said at the same time, and you both froze for a second. One of you had messed up the background story, but you both couldn't remember who exactly.

'I... think you had too much to drink, honey,' you smiled at Sihtric.

'Sorry, bunny,' Sihtric sighed, grabbing his glass and gesturing to the waiter he wanted a refill, 'you're right. We've been a couple for six months,' he glared at your mother for a second, 'but you forget that we were friends with benefits for two months already.'

You watched your mother choke on her water as she muttered a prayer, and you grandma innocently asked what was being said.

You smacked your lips, 'you're right,' you grinned and leaned into him, 'I always forget you count those months too.'

'I do,' he smiled and thanked the waiter as he got another glass of wine, 'so I guess I should propose soon, huh?' he took a sip of his wine as he looked your mother in the eyes.

'A girl can dream,' you smiled and kissed his cheek.

'How did you meet?' your mother suddenly asked.

'We met through a friend,' you spoke the truth and looked up at Sihtric, 'and we've been basically inseparable ever since.' Which was also not a lie. If you didn't see each other for a day, you'd text constantly, until you'd see each other again.

'Not a word has been lied,' Sihtric smiled at you, lovingly this time.

'Was it love at first sight?' your recently married aunt asked as she sat down next to your mom.

You suddenly felt shy, because for you, it had been love at first sight. You just couldn't tell him, even if you were "pretending" now.

'It was for me,' Sihtric suddenly said and chuckled lightly, not in a mocking manner, or in a way to shock your mother. He was sincere and genuine this time. 'First time I laid eyes on her,' Sihtric sighed, 'I was completely smitten,' he spoke softly but confident, and the men at the table who heard him chuckled and murmured it happened to them too when they met their spouse, to which Sihtric raised his glass, and the men did too. 'We already argued after half an hour about which power ranger was the strongest,' he continued, making everyone who heard it smile, even your mother's face seemed to soften, 'honestly, I don't even know how we came up with that.'

'It was because you had longer hair when we met,' you reminded him, 'and you wore a white shirt and white sweatpants, and Uhtred said you looked like that white power ranger from the '90s because your muscles really showed through that shirt.'

Sihtric laughed, 'oh, yeah, that's right,' he shook his head, 'in my defence,' he said and looked round the table, 'the white power ranger was the strongest.'

'No,' you interrupted and covered his mouth with your hand, 'the red one was the strongest.'

Sihtric took your hand and laced his fingers with yours, 'Sweetie, you only say that because you thought the guy was hot.'

'Maybe,' you shrugged, 'but you'd be the hottest ranger if you were one.'

'And I'd happily protect you for the rest of my life if I was one,' Sihtric smiled and bit down on his lip. You both got lost in each other's eyes for a moment that you didn't even hear all the ladies, even your mom, sighing lovingly at his words.

'I'd marry him,' one of your younger nieces called over from their table, to which you all laughed.

'Yeah,' you chuckled before you looked back at Sihtric, 'I would too,' you said and blushed.

Sihtric didn't reply, he just looked at you as if you were the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. Which you were to him, you just didn't know.

'So, yeah,' Sihtric said and cleared his throat, 'love at first sight it was,' he looked over at the men who cheered and raised their glass to him again, which he did too.

'And you?' your grandma suddenly asked, 'was it love at first sight for you?'

'It was,' you admitted with flustered cheeks, trying to hide your smile, 'I remember going home that night, being overjoyed I managed to get his number, after arguing for hours about power rangers,' you chuckled and so did the rest, 'and I was so nervous to text him.'

'Really?' Sihtric asked, 'why?'

'Because you're so out of my league, babe,' you didn't lie this time either, you finally told him your true feelings, 'look at you,' you smiled and squeezed his biceps through his jacket, 'you're so handsome, and I'm just… me,' you shrugged, 'I wouldn't understand why you'd be interested in me when you could literally have anyone you wanted.'

'And I have who I wanted,' Sihtric said, truthfully, squeezing your hand as he looked deep into your eyes, 'I have you, baby,' he smiled softly, 'and it's you who I wanted, ever since I first saw you.'

You both stared into each other's eyes while everyone around your table, and the table with the youngsters, held their breath, as if they expected a proposal right there and then, but everyone got rudely brought back to the party when someone shouted they were to held a toast, as the dinner was over and the dance floor was about to open.

******************

Sihtric was amused at your drunk uncles, who were convinced they could do that one dance from that popular k-pop group. Sihtric would later tell you that it was the best worst out of sync choreography he had ever seen, and he had loved every second of it.

'You want to dance?' he asked you, after the tragic dance attempt of your uncles unfortunately ended.

'I'm not much of a dancer,' you chuckled, 'maybe if a slower song comes on I could save myself, but not this,' you shook your head, 'I will look like my uncles.'

Sihtric snorted at the thought, and it was as if the Devil was the DJ, because as soon as you had spoken the up beat song faded out into a slow, sappy love song.

'You said it,' Sihtric smiled as he got up.

'Gods,' you sighed. Sihtric took your hand and pulled you up, walking you up to the dancefloor,

'I really can't dance, Sihtric,' you said, 'I'm serious.'

'I don't care, lady,' Sihtric smiled, bringing his hands to your waist to pull you closer. You placed your hands on his chest and looked up at him with a shy smile.

'Gods, you're beautiful,' he whispered shyly as he looked down at you, and he guided your body along with his effortlessly, making you both feel as if you were the only two people in the room.

'So are you,' you giggled, 'did…did you mean what you said earlier?'

'I've said a lot tonight,' Sihtric chuckled, 'you have to be more specific, baby girl.'

'What you said about love at first sight?' you didn't dare to look up at him now.

'Hm,' he hummed quietly with a smile and leaned his jaw gently against your temple, 'I did, baby,' he spoke softly, 'every damn word. You've been in my head ever since I saw you, and I couldn't get you out.'

'Why did you never tell me?' you looked up at him.

'Would you have told me if you felt the same?'

'But I feel the same, Sihtric,' you smiled shyly again.

'And did you tell me?' he asked playfully.

'No,' you smiled, guilty.

'And why didn't you?'

'I …' you sighed, 'I was afraid to ruin our friendship if the feeling wasn't mutual.'

'There is your answer,' Sihtric said and he gently cupped your cheek with one hand, sliding his other hand onto your lower back, 'but I guess since we're finally being honest, I can admit that I desperately want to kiss you right now.'

And when he captured your lips into a tender, slow kiss, it was as if the world around you didn't exist anymore. There was only bliss.

'You want to go home?' you blurted out when Sihtric broke the kiss as the music had changed into something upbeat again.

'With you?'

'Yes,' you smiled.

'Nothing I want more,' he smiled back, and pulled you with him off the dancefloor.

'Wait, Sihtric,' you snorted as you almost tripped again, 'my feet are so tired from these goddamn heels, let me take them off before we get to the stairs again.'

'Come here,' Sihtric clicked his tongue with a smile and wasted no time in picking you up in his arms.

'No,' you giggled, 'you don't have to- just let me take off my shoes!'

'No, lady,' Sihtric grinned, 'I like the way you look in them.'

'What is that supposed to mean?' you frowned and wrapped your arms around his neck as he walked out of the venue.

'Meaning that I hope,' Sihtric said as he carefully watched his step in the dark going down those stairs, 'maybe I'll be lucky tonight and see you in nothing but those heels,' he winked.

'Gods,' you rolled your eyes but couldn't help yourself and you smiled at him, 'I think I'm in love with you, honey.'

Sihtric looked down into your eyes and smiled as well, 'I think I'm in love with you too, bunny.'

#sihtric x reader #sihtric x you #sihtric fic #the last kingdom fic #sihtric kjartansson #the last kingdom #sihtric #tlk #modern!sihtric

[ramhaiba]

𝖧𝖺𝗎𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖵𝗈𝗐𝗌 (𝖸𝖺𝗇𝖽𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝖯𝗋𝗂𝗇𝖼𝖾 𝖬𝖾𝗀𝗎𝗆𝗂 𝗑 𝖱𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋)

ℂ𝕙𝕒𝕡𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕋𝕙𝕣𝕖𝕖, 𝕋𝕠𝕒𝕕

MINOR DO NOT INTERACT SERIES TW: Gore, Stalking, Sexual themes, major character death

previous chapter

You decided to share the information about the wicked family tradition with Nobara and Yuuji when it was late at night because most likely anyone who could interrupt you would be sleeping. You sat, legs crossed on the comforter of your bed, Nobara sitting on the edge while Yuuji sat on the wooden chair in front of your vanity.

"HE WHAT?" Nobara shouted, you instantly leaned over to cover her mouth, scared her voice would wake the entire manor.

"Almost feed me to the wolves? Yes," You sighed, uncovering her mouth to reveal her annoyed expression.

"I'll kill him" Yuuji huffed, crossing his arms. "Thank you but I don't think three people can possibly defeat an entire family of cold-blooded conquers" you responded.

"Yeah… we'll need an army" Nobara implied, looking at you, her facial expression was too serious to make her idea seem like a simple joke.

"Even if that were true... the only army I have is a miles away from here. Besides, I can't contact my parents" you shook your head.

"Why can't you just write to them?" Yuuji asked. "You think they trust me enough to not check what I'm writing to my parents? They'd read my letter and chop off me head or something" you huffed, imagining all the wicked punishments they'd inflict on you if they caught you plotting against them.

"And it's not exactly you can leave the manor either. I don't think they'd even let me or Yuuji leave as well" Nobara added, each word making your situation more hopeless.

"So if we can't go to your parents... they can come to us" Yuuji replied, his eyes beaming in hope. "What are you trying to say" You ask, intrigued by his sudden hope. "Well.. when's the next time you'll see your parents?" Yuuji explained.

"The wedding- the-they'll definitely show up to the wedding. Then I'll be able to tell them about how fucking crazy the family is- and they can prepare the army. Yuuji, you're a genius " You laughed, suddenly filled with hope.

"You just need to well... survive the ten challenges first," Nobara said. "I will. I have to and then the Zenin family is going to pay" You nodded your head, Nobara and Yuuji pleased with your confidence.

----

"Why are we doing this again?" you asked, annoyed as you sat at the dining table, practicing the same dining speech for the fifth time. At least you're not alone, Megumi sitting across from you looking much more tired of this than you are.

"Because we can't have you two looking like idiots at your wedding. Of course, they'll be a dinner after the ceremony and the rich assholes are going to expect some type of speech. Now if we're done complaining, let's start from the top" Maki sighed, waving your question off.

"Starting with you, Megumi" Maki added. Megumi clicked his tongue as he gracefully got up from his chair, holding his wine glass with a silver fork.

"Ladies and gentlemen, if I can I'd like a few words about my joyful reunion" Megumi cringed as he softly hit the cup with his fork. 

" To our esteemed guest, I am filled withso much gratitude for your presence. I'd like to personally thank you all for putting aside your duties to arrive at this beautiful occasion. In addition, I'd like to thank Mr. and Mrs. L/n for blessing my marriage between me and Y/n. Finally,  I'd like to thank my fathe- do I really have being doing this, Maki?" Megumi groaned, abruptly sitting down and throwing his head back.

"Fine, I suppose we can practice another time. To be frank, I am tired of hearing you both mess up so many times" Maki sighed, shaking her head in disappointment. You were about to arise from your seat as you watched Maki leave the room- however, Megumi stopped you by his glare. His lips turned into a smirk as he watched you roll your eyes and slowly sit back down.

"I'm guessing it's time for my second trial, correct?" you sighed. "I'm impressed, you learn quick" Megumi laughed to himself. Suddenly, he raised his hand and snapped, a servant coming quickly with a silver platter covered with a metal dome, gently placed it in front of you before leaving.

"Well?" Megumi asked, raising an eyebrow, arms crossed. "Open it up" he waved his hand. You lifted over the cover to reveal a cooked toad, now you've tried exotic food and liked a few of them...however, this looked downright disgusting.

"No," you said bluntly.

"I'm not eating this, Megumi" you added on, glaring at him, finding it hard to concrete with the disgusting odor coming off of the toad. "Eat the toad, Y/n." Megumi said, treating you like a child who just refused to eat their vegetables.

"It looks disgusting- are you trying to poison me? Is that it?" you huffed. "Of course not. However, I'm sure you're aware I wouldn't give you a simple eating challenge. Anyone who consumes the toad will temporarily lose the ability to lie"

"So like a truth frog" you responded, unimpressed.

"Toad" Megumi corrected, annoyed by your lack of amusement. You took the sliver fork and knife and gracefully cut the toad in half. "Well...The only way I'll be eating this- is if you eat it with me" you demanded, turning the plate to face the toad towards Megumi. "Marriage is about union, isn't it?" you added, smiling confidently.

"If that's what you wish, shall we?" Megumi replied, inserting a fork into his half of the toad. You gulped, hoping that he'd back down and just cancel the trial. You closed your eyes- saying a quick prayer as you ate the toad- trying to get it down as quickly as possible to forget its horrid taste. You peeked your eyes open and saw Megumi's dreaded facial expression as he attempted to get the toad down his throat.

"Done" you sighed in relief as you opened your mouth to show him. "That was horrible" Megumi cursed, wiping his mouth.

"Well I attended to take my time with you- however, likely, the effects won't last as long as expected now that you only ate half" Megumi sighed. "Then I guess you'll have to be quick" you smiled, leaning over with your head resting on your palms.

"I'll start with simple questions, just to test it"

"What's your name?"

"Y/n L/n"

"Who did you come here with?" "Nobara Kugisaki and Yuuji Itadori"

"and what color are the undergarments you're wearing right now? "

"White" you confessed, without hesitation. Then you slapped your mouth, feeling your cheeks turn hot from embarrassment. You could hear Megumi chuckle from across you.

"Seems like it's working. Now we can actually get started "Megumi said, crossing his arms and leaning back in the chair.

---

"Why did you agree to this marriage?" Megumi asked, looking you dead in the eyes, you could feel any of the light heartednesses from the conversation vanish. "Could I even disagree? This is what happens to all princesses, being arranged to marry some asshole and then have kids or what not" you answered, slightly fidgeting, you underestimated the questions Megumi could ask you.

What if he finds out you're trying to plan a whole army against him? He won't just kill you... He'll kill Nobara and Yuuji as well-

"Ah, so I'm just another asshole to you?" Megumi hummed, raising his eyebrow.

"Of course I do" you answered, he didn't need the toad to know that answer. Besides, Megumi didn't seem too hurt by your answer, most likely just asking it for reassurance. 

"What are your opinion on the Zenin family" 

"I think you're all psychopaths, untrustworthy, ruthless, coldhearte-"

"That's enough, I can tell you have some strong feelings." Megumi interrupted, slightly surprised by the detail of your response. He took a moment before thinking of the his next choice of words, tapping his fingers against the wooden table, 

"Do you think you're going to survive through all the trials? After this, it'll only be eight more" 

"You say that like that makes it easy" you scoffed. You shuffled in your seat, while the toad made you tell the truth- it didn't exactly help you think of answers to every question. "I don't care if I think I'm going to survive or not. All I know is that I have to" you managed to answer.

For the love of god, please drop the question because if he even dare to ask why- your whole plan is ruined.  "Are you done with your stupid questions now. As much as I 'love' our little chats, Maki has the tendency of waking me up at the brink of dawn so I would really like to go get some rest" You added, trying to use speech as a method to calm your anxieties caused by Megumi's silence.  "Patience, you should really work on your patience , Y/n." Megumi huffed, rolling his eyes.

"Do you expect me to somehow fall in love you during our marriage?" he questioned, catching you off guard.

"No" you answered, bluntly. Megumi only smiled, seeming to thinking of something that he'd know would piss you off.

"But somehow, you still hope I will fall in love with you, correct?" Megumi added, tilting his chin down.

"Yes" you replied, without a trace of hesitation or shame. You instantly slapped your mouth close once the words processed in your head, shocked by your confession, how could you possibly desire to be loved by this man? By the son of the Zenin family. What the hell is wrong with you?

"I- I- I didn't mean that" You stuttered, words muffled by your palms, eyes adverting to any place besides his unbothered glare. 

Megumi clicked his tongue, unamused, "it's normal. People like you always desire to be loved rather than love someone. If I'm being honest, I only asked that to remind you of that fact " he replied.

Who the hell does this guy think he is? And why the hell is he acting like he can see right through you? However, you couldn't let Megumi have all the fun, remembering that he is also a subject of the effects of the awful tasting toad.

"Could you...Is there any possibility that you could find yourself in love with me?" You asked.

"You are better off not seeking to be loved by a man like me. I'm not wired for love; I don't know how to express love right away. "

"You know that doesn't answer my question, Megumi"

Unexpectedly, Megumi put his head down on the table, covering his face, ears turning a slight red as he slowly nodded his head,

"Yes... I suppose it is a possibility. "

next chapter

#fushiguro megumi x reader #yandere x reader #jjk x reader #jjk megumi #megumi fushiguro #megumi x reader #prince megumi x reader #yandere jjk #yandere jjk x reader #yandere megumi #megumi fanfic #jujutsu kaisen megumi #fushiguro #megumi x you #yandere megumi fushiguro x reader

[mi-rae07]

Kim Hongjoong : You and Her (Part 1/2)

Pairing : Kim Hong-Joong (Ateez) and named character (Lee Hana)

___________________

Synopsis : Hongjoong and Hana are new parents, which come with a lot of new challenges with the new baby. And in between facing all of that, Hongjoong forgets about the person who gave him his daughter in the first place, his attention shifts to Hannie when his wife needed him most. And now she’s reached her breaking point. What will happen? Especially when hongjoong has his own problems.

___________________

A/n : does anyone want a part 2☝️

____________________

Hongjoong entered their house after a long day at work, having left at 8 and the time now being 2am. Except as soon as hongjoong closed the door behind him the sounds of a baby wailing and crying hit his ears, causing hongjoong to quickly throw his bag away as he rushed towards his newborn baby's nursery. But just as he was about to climb the steps he paused in front of the living room, realizing his wife was sitting on the sofa, blank eyed as if she wasn't hearing anything.

If she was here, who was taking care of their daughter?

Hongjoong : hana?

Hana flinched at the sound, looking at hongjoong as a tired smile fell on her face. A smile, did she not hear her daughter crying?

Hana : you're back. The dinner-

Hongjoong : hana, she's crying.

Hana looked back straight, her expression once again blank as she said

Hana : she's always crying.

Hongjoong : why are you here then? You should be with her, trying to get her to sleep-

Hana : well you're home now anyway, you go do it.

Hongjoong frowned at her words, astonished. She had never been like this.

Hongjoong : what? Look, it's not as if I have a problem with looking after my own daughter but you just…you seem so unbothered, hana.

Hana : I am unbothered, she's crying for the most useless of things. One time it's for her toy, the next it's because of the light, and then it's because her dress is slightly folded.

Hongjoong scoffed, walking closer to hana as he tried ignoring his daughter's cries for a few minutes. Because this was more important, because what was hana saying?

Hongjoong : hana, she is not even a year old, what do you expect from her?

Hana : to stay quiet for at least an hour? So that I can rest? Sleep? Eat?

Now he was angry, she was treating their daughter like a dog.

Hongjoong : hana! What is wrong with you? This is literally the only thing you have to do, take care of the baby. Why can't you do even that without complaining like this?

Hana looked at hongjoong with angry eyes, standing up as she said

Hana : you think it's that easy? To look after a baby 24/7?

Hongjoong : no one told you any of this would be easy, hana. But I go to work everyday, working my ass off to provide for the both of you. And then I come back home and take care of the baby and the housework. If I can do all of that, why can't you just stop the baby from crying instead of lazing around like this?

Hana : this is exactly what I expected you to do, disvalue all that I do once we have that baby.

Hongjoong : all that you do? What exactly is it that you're doing, huh? You quit work, you don't talk to me anymore, you're always shut off and depressed, not a single smile to be seen in your face ever, you won’t talk to you friends either and now you won't even look after our daughter?

Hana was getting frustrated even more now, did he not get it? Did he not fucking understand?

Hana : you think I'm doing all this because I want to? I want to talk to my friends as well, hongjoong! I want to go out with them as well! I want to be happy as well, I want to wear the dresses I like as well but I fucking can't! why? WHY? BECAUSE I JUST HAD A FUCKING BABY, OKAY?

Hongjoong looked away, his hands on his hips as he said

Hongjoong : everyone has babies, hana-

Hana : WELL I DON'T CARE ABOUT EVERYONE ELSE HONGJOONG, I'M TALKING ABOUT ME NOW, AREN'T I? SO STOP DRAGGING OTHER PEOPLE IN HERE! STOP DISVALUING MY WORK AND CALLING ME FUCKING LAZY WHEN YOU WANTED THIS CHILD IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Hana had never screamed at him like this before, he could see the tears in her eyes. She was really hurt.

Hongjoong : hana-

Hana : I QUIT MY JOB BECAUSE I HAD TO TAKE CARE OF OUR CHILD! I'm not talking to you because I'm tired from having to take care of the baby all the time! I'm not going out with my friends because I have to keep feeding our daughter! And I can't even wear whatever I want because my body looks like a fucking joke!

Hongjoong paused, staring at hana as a tear rolled down her eyes. It broke him apart. Hana smiled as she said brokenly

Hana : good job being the best husband and father ever, hongjoong. Good job going to work everyday and then coming back home and doing even more work. But I'm sorry I can't do the same, I'm sorry I have failed you, our daughter and our family.

Hana walked away, climbing up the stairs as she headed towards her daughter's nursery. Hongjoong bit his lip, plopping down on the sofa as his head fell against his hands.

If his wife had had to say all of this to him, crying and screaming, then he had failed as a husband too.

______________________________

Hana : shh shh, mama's here.

Hana let out a breath as she picked her daughter up, cradling her closer to herself as she let hannie have her milk. Hana's breasts had already been sore from all the feeding she had done throughout this day and the day before. But it wasn't like she had a choice, was it? She loved her daughter, and these were sacrifices she had to make.

Hana looked at the mirror in front of her, her once bright brown eyes now having dark eyebags underneath them. They had lost all it's glow, and so had her skin. It was now filled with small acne and scars from her daughter's fusses, the skin all dry and dull. She had gained weight, and that was the worst of them all. She no longer fit in her favourite dresses and she hated it. But even then, when she'd see the small smiles on her daughter's faces here and there, she felt like maybe it was all worth it.

Hana leaned back against the bed with a tired sigh, closing her eyes as she held her daughter closer to her protectively before whispering

Hana : mama loves you hannie, mama loves you a lot. Please forgive her.

___________________________

Hongjoong had just finished making breakfast when he heard hana walk down the stairs with hannie, her small gurgles reaching hongjoong's ears as he rushed to where hana was now standing, staring blankly at him.

Hongjoong : give her to me.

Hana looked at the pancakes that were kept on the table as she said

Hana : it's only 7.

Hongjoong : and you're already awake, aren't you?

Hana : because she is.

Hongjoong sighed, taking hannie from hana's hold as he said to her

Hongjoong : come eat the pancakes, I've made it just the way you like it.

Before hana could say anything more hongjoong led her to the dining table, making her sit on the chair as he cut a piece of the pancake before holding it in front of hana's mouth

Hongjoong : say ah.

Hana looked at hannie who seemed to be busy playing with hongjoong's hair as she opened her mouth. The pancakes tasted amazing, especially when hannie wasn't ripping hair out of her scalp.

Hana : hongjoong, what are you trying to do?

Hongjoong : feed you, of course.

Hana : why?

Hongjoong : can't a husband feed his wife?

Hana : well you haven't been a husband to me for so long, only a father to hannie. Why do you suddenly change?

Hongjoong stared at hana with hurt eyes, her taking hannie away from hongjoong before seating her on hana's lap as she said nonchalantly

Hana : go and get ready for work, hongjoong. You'll be late.

_____________________

Hongjoong came back early from work that day with flowers in one hand and a toy in the other, to see hana watching tv with hannie lying fast asleep in her arms. Hana did not even turn to look as hongjoong walked up to them with a tired smile, holding the boquet out for hana as he said

Hongjoong : I bought them for you, since you like roses.

Hana : put them in the vase, thank you.

She had never sounded so cold, or was it that hongjoong hadn't noticed?

Hongjoong : hana are you…are you not going to even look at it?

Hana could hear the hurt in hongjoong's voice, so she turned to look at the flowers for a second before turning back to face the tv as she said

Hana : happy now?

Hongjoong : happy? Do you really think I could be happy when the one person I love ignores me and pretends as if I don't even exist to her? My happiness is you, hana, and you I do not seem to have anymore.

Hana scoffed as she said

Hana : so it's my fault again now.

Hongjoong : what, that's not what I meant-

Hana : I did not have you when I needed you either, hongjoong. Sure, you were with hannie all the time, you would put her to sleep, feed her, change her diapers, yes. What about me then? Did you care whether I slept? Whether I ate? Did you even ask me how I was, how I felt? I needed you too, hongjoong, and I didn't have you.

Hana stood up as she realized hannie had started crying by now, snatching the roses from a teary eyed hongjoong as she said, looking straight into his eyes

Hana : these stupid flowers will not make that all okay, it will not give me what I lost, the husband I lost.

Hana walked away from hongjoong, throwing the flowers onto an empty vase nonchalantly before climbing up the stairs to the nursery. Hongjoong let out a shaky breath as tears rolled down his cheek, his hands that held the toy trembling in his fist.

He really had failed as a husband.

_______________________

Hana stepped out of the nursery hours later after having finally put hannie to sleep, her eyes tired and her body sore. Hana paused on her tracks as she saw hongjoong sitting with his back against the wall on the floor, his eyes closed. Was he sitting outside on the floor for this long? He hadn't even changed out of his work clothes.

Hana leaned down as she patted hongjoong's arm in order to wake him up as he jumped awake, almost scaring hana as well.

Hana : what are you doing on the floor?

Hongjoong blinked at hana in part confusion as he slowly said

Hongjoong : I was…waiting for you?

Hana sighed, standing up as she said

Hana : don't do it again, it's unnecessary.

Hana started walking towards their bedroom as hongjoong quickly stood up too, following her as he said

Hongjoong : I'm sorry, sorry for not noticing you. I was just too stuck up on our daughter, I wanted to make sure hannie was fine-

Hana : so you forgot about me, yes?

Hongjoong : hana please, you know I love you.

Hana : knowing isn't enough when your husband doesn't even talk to you anymore about matters other than your daughter, hongjoong.

Hana opened the door to their room as she stepped inside, getting on the bed as hongjoong said

Hongjoong : I know I've been a bad husband but you haven't…you could never lose me, hana. I still love you, I always will. And I'm trying to be better, I'm trying to be what I once was.

Hana : great.

Hana laid back on the bed, pulling the blankets over her as hongjoong let out a breath, looking at the floor before saying

Hongjoong : it's just been so hard for me too, hana. Of course, not as much as it could've been for you. But I-I just didn't know how to manage time with hannie and work, and you. It got messed up, but I won't let it happen again. I promise.

Hongjoong paused for a minute, realizing he wasn't going to get any response. He sighed, turning around and was about to leave when a voice interrupted him

Hana : are you going to run away again, like a coward?

Hongjoong paused, realizing what she meant by that. It was the same thing hana had said when hongjoong had first asked her out back in college, when hongjoong was about to leave since hana had given him no response. Just a look.

And now she was giving him the same look, making hongjoong immediately cry as sobs filled the room.

Hana : oh, joong.

Hana quickly got up from the bed, rushing towards hongjoong as she hugged him tight. Hongjoong buried his head on her shoulders as he weeped like a baby, his arms around hana's waist tight, as if he was scared of letting go.

Hana : I won't leave you, hongjoong.

Hongjoong : I thought…I thought you were going to.

Hana chuckled as she ran her hand along his hair before whispering

Hana : how could I ever, you're the father of my daughter.

Hongjoong : I love you, I love you so much I swear I've never not loved you my entire life.

Hongjoong paused as he heard nothing in return, opening his eyes as he asked

Hongjoong : hana? You…you love me too, right?

There was no response. Hongjoong pulled back, realizing that hana was crumbling into dust in front of his own eyes. Hongjoong's eyes widened as he said in panic and fear

Hongjoong : hana! Hana no, no you can't leave me. HANA!

??? : HONGJOONG WAKE UP!

Hongjoong gasped as he opened his eyes, immediately holding onto whatever was in front of him as he panted heavily.

Hana : it was just a nightmare, shh.

Hongjoong let out a whimper as he looked at hana who was kneeling in front of him, her face part worried. Hongjoong felt relief rush all over him as he realized he was still outside hannie's nursery, the time 3am now.

Hongjoong : you're…you're here.

Hana : where else would I be?

Hongjoong stared at hana, his eyes blurry from the tears

Hongjoong : hana are you-are you going to leave me?

Hana frowned, confusion filling her eyes as she asked

Hana : what are you-

Hongjoong : hana please don't leave me. I have…I have no one but you and hannie. You know my parents left me because I was a bad son, right? Are you-are you going to leave me because I'm a bad husband too now? And when hannie realizes I'm a bad…bad father she's going to leave me as well and I'll be all alone again. Oh, I-I-

Hana : hongjoong no.

Hana looked at hongjoong as she realized he was breathing even faster now, sweat forming on his forehead. He was going to that headspace again, and it hadn't happened for years now. For hongjoong to have brought up his parents who had died in an accident when hongjoong was just 9, this was terrible.

Hongjoong : I'm so sorry, I'm so so sorry please don't go away from me. I know I'm a bad-

Hongjoong cut himself off as hana brought his head towards her chest, wrapping an arm around his shoulder as hongjoong broke into loud sobs in her arms, his body still quivering and sweaty against hers.

Hana : you're not a bad anything, joong. Shush.

Hongjoong clutched hana's shirt in his hands as he said

Hongjoong : you told me you didn't love me, you disappeared when I told you you loved me. I couldn't…I couldn't save you this is all my fault.

Hana frowned, she had never said that. He was talking about the nightmare he had just had, it was probably triggered by the fact that he lived with the guilt of not having saved his parents, something he couldn't have possibly done at that young age.

Hana : hongjoong-ah, I never did all that. It was just a nightmare, I told you. I'm right here, I'm not leaving you-

Hongjoong : you said that before too! But you still left!

Hana pressed her lips together as hongjoong cried harder against her chest, her own eyes filling with tears at how broken he sounded. He was having one of his episodes.

Hana : hongjoong, that wasn't me okay? Look, look at me.

Hongjoong shook his head, holding hana tighter as he said

Hongjoong : no no you're going to leave me again. No. no I can't-

Hana forcefully pulled hongjoong away from her as she held his wet cheeks, wiping his tears before saying

Hana : see? I'm right here, I'm not going anywhere. I won't leave you I promise, hongjoong. And neither will hannie, okay? She's our daughter, your daughter. She will always love you.

Hongjoong stared at hana with tears flowing down still, his lips trembling as he asked in a low voice

Hongjoong : you-you won't?

Hana : never, I promised didn't I? On our wedding day?

Hongjoong closed his eyes as hana kissed his cheek, slowly rubbing his back to calm him down as she whispered

Hana : you're my entire world, I couldn't leave you even if I wanted to.

____________________________

#ateez angst #ateez fluff #kpop angst #kpop ff #ateez ff #kpop fluff #angst #ateez #ff #fluff #hongjoong imagine #hongjoong angst #hongjoong imagines #hongjoong fluff #hongjoong au #ateez hongjoong #kim hongjoong #hongjoong #ateez imagines

[feelinungry]

and i will always, always, be defending the "plot-holes" that are not actually plot-holes at all. i've seen people on facebook complain so many times about the ending of the game - about the siege of talmberg to be more exact.

"just attack it", "just take it down", "why doesn't divish just do it", "ohh his wife he can't even fuck! nobody gives a damn", "henry doesn't even really care for radzig at this point" etc.

and i have to go back to that one solitary thing this game literally cannot exist without: love. it's the main aspect, it's the pillars the story stands on, it's everything.

medieval movies and books like to picture the old times ala skyrim: "my son was very young when he died. but he did so while doing his duty. he fell for skyrim! he fell for the empire! i do not mourn for i am proud!"

"oh, i loved my father more than anything. but he is gone now. that is life."

it is. but. hear me out. people back then - were actually just like people now. we break down when we lose someone we adore, cherish, love, protect. no matter how stoic we may be, we don't take it lightly, do we?

so, if you think about it, is it a plot-hole, when divish refuses to attack his castle because

it's his home and he loves it

his wife is in there

his friend is also in there?

robard would not attack if it were divish in there. radzig would not attack if it were henry in there. hans would not attack if it were hanush in there. istvan would not attack if it were erik in there. captain bernard would not attack if it were hans in there.

it all comes back to love. and wanting people you care about safe.

martin running back to certain death because his wife is in the village when the cumans attack.

both parents worrying about nothing but their beloved son even while they are being brutally murdered.

everyone on talmberg willing to lock henry up just to keep him away from skalitz (for reasons yet unknown).

theresa making a last stand for someone just as lost as her.

the understanding he's met with when henry comes and admits his failure to radzig, the fact that he went against direct order. (nothing, absolutely nothing else but radzig being in debt to martin, or radzig being someone close to henry, could explain the understanding, the acceptance, and the outcome of the whole situation. how do you think henry - who is just a young man, not a hero, not a dragonborn, not a chosen one - would get away with all this?)

henry backed out of the night raid on talmberg because hans was wounded and wouldn't survive long enough for the mission to succeed.

hans (in one of the outcomes) carried him out on his back, saving his fat ass. no time for glory, no time for saving the hostages when it's suddenly your best friend who is on the ground and bleeding out. he might have succeeded with the mission. yet he didn't hesitate when suddenly it was him who was put in the shoes of those who just wanted to keep their loved ones safe. it was stephanie for divish (he approved the raid). it was radzig for henry (he was the one who went first and most willingly). and it was henry for hans (who immediately backed out on henry's behalf). all those actions were based on love.

would you attack talmberg, knowing there was someone you loved? someone you wanted to know better, someone you wanted to learn how to love, someone who could have been much closer if he only tried? someone you only just met?

the whole story starts with love, continues with love, ends with love. it is everywhere you look and you don't even have to romance anyone to see it, to feel it. it is in the npcs' lives, it's the motivation behind so many actions. it's in henry's decisions. in your decisions.

because, don't you just love this game?

#kcd #kcd talk #kcd brainrot i welcome you back #and fuck off i need to live and sleep #kingdom come deliverance #hans capon #henry of skalitz #radzig kobyla #divish of talmberg

[the-obnoxious-sibling]

I can't help but think about what if Buggy was raised in White Beard's ship rather than with the Rogers? In my heart of hearts I really do want to believe that Rogers cared and treasured Buggy like he did Shanks but afaik Shanks feels like a favorite; he's given the strawhat, and there's the Wano flashback of the Roger pirates about to face off the Whitebeards, and Shanks is wearing Roger's current captain hat on top of the straw hat while he's munching on some chocolate (😭) and idk, it makes me feel for the little clown

Whitebeard seems like he's a better father figure than Rogers considering his treasure is his family, so I wonder if he would have a better understanding of how Buggy feels, and how to raise a kid who doesn't take to battle as quickly as the other kids (let's say Marco bc he probably is the only other kid in the ship). Would Whitebeard celebrate and praise Buggy for his creative inventions and bombs? Would he encourage Buggy to be the flashiest boy of the Grand line, and to wear his red nose proud bc no matter what, he loves Buggy the way he is anyway? Idk I'm just thinking about what if Buggy wasn't broken and jaded :')

I'm still a Shuggy enjoyer so I want Shanks to be still a part of Buggy's childhood. What if Shanks is interested in Whitebeard's youngest bc he's also a kid too, and he's super eye catching. Shanks probably tries to fight Buggy but he gets overwhelmed by Buggy's bombs or whatever, or because Buggy's too good at dodging and/or running away (Whitebeard probably clues in that Buggy's not battle heavy, but he has immense potential when it comes to escapes and getting out of danger). Shanks just falls in love with this kid who he can't quite grasp and always looks forward to seeing again. Or maybe Shanks also gets adopted as a Whitebeard, but Whitebeard's parenting polishes Shanks and Buggy's strengths in a way where one doesn't feel inferior to the other and they're both happy kids. Lots of maybes...

Case and point, Buggy as a Whitebeard would maybe fix him 😭

buggy as a whitebeard pirate… i do think he ends up mentally healthier for it, but not necessarily because “roger’s a bad dad”—imo he’s not trying to be anyone’s dad, he’s buggy and shanks’ captain, it’s a different relationsh—*a long hook drags me offstage*

ahem. anyway.

potential upsides to being a whitebeard pirate:

if buggy’s in whitebeard’s crew, he is whitebeard’s family. there’s no room for doubt, he joined the crew this morning and has already been called ‘son’ three times.

lots of support, resources, etc. should he eat the chop-chop fruit. this is a crew with a lot of devil fruit experience, they know how to deal with the limitations that arise. if buggy mopes and complains about not being able to search for treasure underwater, i bet somebody comes up with a diving suit or a little submersible boat he can use; if he wants to swim, they find him a fresh water pool; etc.

there’s not just two kids around—he’ll get less focused attention, yeah, but the same is true for everyone. cap’n dad might play favorites, but i think that not being the favorite hurts more when there’s only two options. when there’s five, ten, dozens of other kids fighting for his attention… well, buggy might be bitter about not being the favorite, but he surely knew the odds weren’t in his favor. also, not being codependently reliant on one single peer/friend can do wonders for your mental health.

no childhood trauma over the crew breaking up and the captain dying!

potential downsides to being a whitebeard pirate:

he never gets to leave the nest. whitebeard pirates who want leadership roles can become division commanders; if they want an independent leadership role, i guess they can become captains of whitebeard subordinate crews? but it seems to me that they only leave if they die, retire, or turn traitor. i think buggy would find that stifling. whitebeard: the world’s most powerful helicopter parent?

there’s not just two kids around—if focused attention turns out to be something buggy really needs, that’s a shame, because he’s not gonna get it.

this is not a crew that cares about finding treasure or going on grand adventures. i don’t think buggy is gonna be too happy about whitebeard’s “the real treasure was the family we found along the way” ethos. though maybe he just ignores this, the way ace ignored whitebeard’s lack of interest in the pirate king title.

adulthood trauma over the captain dying and the crew falling apart/being destroyed by a traitor!

#asked and answered #one piece #buggy #whitebeard #i know there’s a number of noncombatants in wb’s crew but i don’t actually think buggy would want to be one of them… #i know we’re used to seeing him run from fights but as a kid buggy was plenty bloodthirsty! #if he didn’t lose the security blanket of having his big strong captain to back his play i think he’d happily keep throwing daggers around #as for shuggy… sorry but i need them to have their very specific shared history for the ship to appeal to me. i’m a buzzkill that way. #kids on rival ships with a rivalry-crush situation is fun but it’s not the same. (that’s shanks/marco to me tbh. unrequited tho 🥲) #even growing up together w/wb isn’t the same bc there’s other kids around in that situation! it’s not as claustrophic. not as codependent. #(also i don’t think shanks flourishes in quite the same way w/wb. he’s roger’s special little boy! the parallels are there for a reason!)

[patheticgirlsteve]

Eddie thinks it's sweet that Steve puts so much time and effort into engaging in Eddie's hobbies and passions. Like, SO sweet. But he can't help but feel bad for not engaging in Steve's interests as well. So he tries to think what he can do to show Steve that it's not one-sided, that Eddie cares about Steve's interests as well, but he has a hard time coming up with ideas.

There's the obvious things like taking Steve to a basketball game or listening to his ABBA and Tears for Fears tapes with him (without complaining loudly about it the whole time). But beyond that, he's pretty stumped. So he goes to Robin.

"Rob, you gotta help me out here," he begs her. "Tell me what Steve's hobbies are, you know him better than anyone."

"Shouldn't you know his hobbies? You guys have been dating for months," Robin replies.

"Yeah, but he doesn't ever talk to me about these sorts of things, we always end up talking about my interests instead, which I know is so shitty. Please, Robin, help me to not be a shitty boyfriend," he gives her the best puppy dog eyes he can manage and she caves pretty quickly, settling in to help him make a list of all of the things Steve is into.

It doesn't take long for them to realize that Robin doesn't know any better than Eddie does what Steve is into. This, of course, makes them both feel bad. So Eddie resolves to go straight to the source. He talks to Steve about it.

Eddie apologizes for not even knowing what things his boyfriend is into enough to enjoy those things with him, but Steve just shrugs it off. He genuinely likes a lot of the stuff that Eddie has introduced him to, he still doesn't really like metal music and he doesn't have any desire to play D&D, but he likes taking Eddie to concerts and feeling the energy of the crowd; he loves going to Eddie's performances at the Hideout and watching his boyfriend be an absolute rockstar; he likes sitting in on D&D sessions and watching Eddie in his element as DM; he likes listening to Eddie read his favorite books aloud to Steve, doing different voices for each character.

But Eddie still feels bad, because it shouldn't be all about his hobbies all the time, relationships go two ways and he wants to support Steve's interests too. He tells him this, but Steve just shrugs it off again and says that he doesn't really have any interests.

And Eddie gets it. Gets that Steve has spent his entire life living for other people, being King Steve, keeping his parents happy and everyone around him in awe. He hasn't really gotten a chance to just be himself, to even figure out who he is and what he likes.

And Eddie gets it, but he also hates it. He wants Steve to find who he is and what he loves, he wants to give him that chance. He wants Steve to find things to be passionate about too, because everyone deserves to have things to be passionate about.

"Okay," he says. "So, lets find you some then."

Steve just sort of blinks at him then asks, "What?"

"Lets find you some interests, something of your own to be passionate about,"

Steve considers for a moment. "Um, okay, how exactly do we do that? Just test out hobbies until something sticks?" He asks, not really being serious.

"Yeah," Eddie says, and he is being serious. "Try interests on like clothes and get rid of them if they don't fit. Let me help you find something that you love, Stevie, you deserve to have passions just like anyone else."

Steve thinks about it for a moment, before quietly asking, "And you'll help me?"

Eddie nods, "Yeah, baby, I'll help you."

And thus begins the journey to find Steve some hobbies.

#i'm gonna write a fic about it but i wanted to post the idea here first #steddie #steddie hcs #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddie ficlet #is this a ficlet? i am a bit unclear on what qualifies as a ficlet #regardless. it will eventually be a full fic #i already have it planned out hehehe #anya.txt

[total-drama-brainrot]

Deep diving into Alejandro's ethnicity and family because the show is vague with how both are portrayed, and I'm pedantic:

Off the bat, we know that he was born in 🇪🇸 Spain. Or at least, that's what his wiki page says, so I'm sure it's mentioned in some kind of canon content (the show, the character interviews, the creators' stating it, ect). He often times speaks en español, either by replacing words and phrases in otherwise English sentences or cussing out his team in an entirely spanish confession. His name is also rooted in Spanish origin; 'Alejandro' is the Spanish equivalent of Alexander, and his surname 'Burromuerto' literally translates to "Dead Donkey", likely a combination of the idioms "beating a dead horse" and "no ver tres en un burro", translation: can't see three on a donkey; akin to 'blind as a bat'.

I could go on about the symbolism of his name(s) and how it relates to his performance on Total Drama, but that's not essential to the topic at hand so I'll go over it later.*

With this in mind, the show really wants us to believe that he's Spanish, or at the very least Hispanic.

In Chinese Fake-Out, we learn that he won a gold medal at the South American Skate Olympics, so he presumably lived somewhere in South America in his childhood. On the wiki, it claims that he moved to Latin America soon after he was born. His comment in the same episode about eating barbequed guinea pigs where he grew up had a lot of people deducing that he lived in 🇵🇪 Peru since guinea pig is famously a delicacy there. The question begs, why would Alejandro and the rest of the Burromuertos move to Peru from Spain?

We know that Alejandro's father is a diplomat, so uprooting the family to a new country could be related to his work, but I doubt a diplomat would settle down and start a family just to go through the hassle of moving them halfway across the world to a random country, regardless of his salary.

What other reason would anyone have for dragging their brood across the sea? To see their extended family.

Family is a big character motivation for Alejandro: he has a lot of pride in being a Burromuerto and often times complains about disappointing his family or being susceptible to José's teasing when his plans don't work out. Pride is a staple of the Burromuertos; they even have a family code they abide by. That kind of mindset is usually generational, implying that his parents place the same emphasis on the presentation and opinions of their family.

The most glaring example of this mindset is the hate fuelled rivalry between Alejandro and José, which was sparked by their desperate need to be the "better son". The main goal of the Burromuerto brothers is familial recognition. Understandable, when your parents are too successful to raise you themselves, any kid would be desperate for their attention. Since their competition was allowed to escalate to the point of mutual loathing, their parents probably encouraged their behaviour; when you value familial reputation over everything of course you want your children to continuously prove themselves. (Poor Al is just full of complex familial trauma, from his parents' neglect to his brothers' bullying to the incredible pressure he's put under to succeed. No wonder he's like that.)

After seeing how the brothers are willing to go to extremes for the sake of family, it's reasonable that parents sharing that mindset would move across an ocean just to see their relatives (and likely compete with them, after all even a younger Alejandro was showing up everyone in South America's skateboarding scene).

Suggesting that either one or both of his parents, or grandparents, are Latin American. For simplicities sake, we'll say that Alejandro's dad is Spanish (as he carries the surname), and his mother is Peruvian (since Peru is the assumed country they moved to).

That means that the brothers qualify as both Hispanic and Latino. Alejandro's latin blood really is canon, and the stereotypical 'Latin Lover' archetype he fills (alongside the "Archvillain" he's titled as) is all the more accurate. He's evidently very proud of both heritages.

To clarify, the Burromuertos moved to Peru when Alejandro was young to be with his Mother's side of the family.

If we want to really wade into the theoretical waters, I'd like to suggest that Alejandro's father left Spain because he disgraced himself/his family in some way, and that's why he's so insistent on his sons restoring the family pride and prestige.

So, I've established Alejandro's ethnicity and touched on the bare-bones basics of his home life. But what about his other brother, or his uncle? You know, the characters that were mentioned once and never expanded upon. Don't worry, I've got notes on them too.

Carlos: The eldest child and a professional soccer player. Alejandro doesn't mention anything about a rivalry with Carlos. Instead, he suggests the two share a healthier bond as Carlos taught him soccer skills. 'Carlos' the name is a Spanish variant of Charles, meaning "free man". Fitting, since it's widely assumed that Carlos escaped from the Burromuerto home's harmful environment at his first opportunity and 'freed himself' from their high expectations/standards, hence why he doesn't engage in the family-typical hypercompetitive bullying. A somewhat common fandom troupe I've seen is Carlos being disowned by the Burromuertos, and post-World Tour/All-Stars Alejandro reconnecting with him after he too is disowned.

Uncle Julio: The hypnotist. All we really know about Julio is his name and occupation, but it's enough to pin him down as Alejandro's maternal uncle. Alejandro states that he learned hypnosis from Julio in The EX-Files; as he grew up in Peru, the only family he reasonably could have interacted with outside of the nuclear unit would be his mother's relatives. His comment "manipulation runs in the family" is never ascribed to the Burromuertos by name, which adds to the implication that Julio isn't his father's brother, as any skill as useful as hypnosis would definitely be branded under his surname otherwise. Additionally, 'Julio' as a name is derivative of the Latin Julius or Julianus (meaning "Devoted to Jove/Jupiter", the Roman incarnation of Zeus, though I can't find any meaning in this applicable to his character), and not a strictly Spanish name like those of Alejandro and his brothers. Instead, it's common in most Hispanic and Latin American countries.

José: The middle child and Alejandro's source of his lingering childhood trauma, if the aversion to the nickname "Al" is anything to go by, I've already written about their relationship. The name 'José' is a Spanish variant of Joseph, which means "to add/give" in it's simplest interpretation. He sure does give Alejandro a tonne of issues, so I suppose it tracks.

*And finally, analysing the symbolism of Alejandro's name.

Alejandro, derived from Alexander, meaning "warrior" and "man's defender". Though in Al's case, it's likely a reference to Alexander the Great as opposed to the name's literal meaning/origins- Alejandro conquered the competition like Alexander conquered his empire.

Burromuerto's double idioms combine "beating a dead horse donkey" with "blind as a bat", likely as a convoluted way to say he's blinding the dead donkey; in this case, the beaten dead horse donkey is the OG cast of Total Drama who have already been milked for two seasons of content and have little left to offer (therefore, the third season is the beating of the dead horse, as its' an attempt to force content out of a resource with nothing left to give. that's why they added two more competitors, if that makes any sense? I'm not sure if I'm explaining this well enough,) and Alejandro is deceiving or 'blinding' them through his manipulations.

Obviously, this is all speculation written by someone with too much free time and no expertise. All of my knowledge/facts come from google searches and connecting dots that likely have no real links to each other. I'm not an authority on any subject. Keep that in mind, please.

Feel free to add your own opinions/thoughts! Or correct things that are be wrong!

#long post #total drama #td alejandro #td josé #the burromuertos #character analysis #silly headcanons #thoughtless posting #ophe rambling #ah yes. the deaddonkey brothers. charles jospeh and alexander. /lh

[headkiss]

eddie request idea: besties secretly in love with eachother and sharing a bed? maybe reader stays over eddies trailer bc things aren’t too good at home, and he goes to sleep on the couch but she asks him to stay and hold her. basically hurt and comfort? feel free to change anything :)

hiiii thank you so much for requesting! it ended up kind of angsty but i hope u like it anyways :D | 1k of hurt comfort softies

Eddie hears knocks on the door and he knows it’s you. There’s only one person who comes to see him unannounced and this late in the day.

He leaves his room to get the door, walking through the trailer quickly because he hates making you wait.

You stand in front of him with puffy eyes and streaked cheeks. You’ve been crying, and it hurts him to see you this way. He wants to kiss away every tear, every bit of pain. But he can’t, because you’re just friends. Best friends.

There’s a bag slung over your shoulder, and you shift its weight before gathering yourself and breathing deep.

“Can I stay over?”

“‘Course you can. Anytime,” he doesn’t even have to think about it.

He takes your bag off your hands, ushering you inside and shutting the door behind you. He knows that you’ll need some time before talking to him, so he lets you have it. Your bag is deposited in his room, and the kettle is on the stove. Eddie keeps your favorite tea at all times, even though he only ever drinks it if you’re around.

You’re on the couch, hands still slightly shaky and sniffling to hold back from crying anymore. You feel awful for asking Eddie to stay, for making him take care of you yet again, but he’s the best thing you’ve got and you can’t let that go. He’s your best friend, your person.

You’re the type to believe in soulmates and you’re almost certain that he is yours. You hope it’s romantically, but you’d take him in your life in any way.

He comes in with two steaming mugs, and sets them both down on the coffee table in front of you before sitting down. He’s close enough that your thighs touch, that you can feel the heat coming off of him and all you want to do is curl into it and never leave.

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

“It’s just my parents. It’s fine.”

Your head is bent, staring at your hands in your lap where they now hold the mug to keep them warm. You can't bring yourself to look at him because you know what you’ll see, the softness and worry all over him. He reaches out and grabs your chin between his thumb and index finger, turning your head gently so that you see him, and he sees you.

It’s devastating.

“It’s not fine if it’s making you cry, honey,” his eyes are shining the way they always are, like pools of chocolate that melt constantly. He’s so pretty.

Your eyes are already welling up again at his tone, at how much he cares.

“‘S the same as always, Eds. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“Hey. This is not your fault, it’s theirs. You can stay with me as long as you want, you know that,” he means it.

“I know but I feel so bad. And Wayne-”

“Likes you more than he likes me, if he was here he’d tell you himself. Seriously, it’s okay.”

He has a way of reassuring you that works, that makes you want to be able to make him feel safe, too. He’s so good to you even when you’re convinced it’s not what you deserve, and you know that he isn’t this way with anyone else.

You aren’t, either. Only him.

He’s the only one you trust enough to be vulnerable, to lay out all of the ugliness in your life and let him stare. It’s because you know he’ll never turn his back on you.

“Can we just watch a movie? I don’t want to think about it anymore.”

“Take your pick.”

You do, and it’s one you’ve made him watch with you at least ten times but he never complains because he knows it’s your favorite and if it helped you feel better he’d watch it a hundred times in a row.

The two of you drink your tea, make comments about the movie like you always do. You can imagine this being your life forever. Eddie and the hum of the TV and the comfort it all provides.

What you don’t know is that he’s thinking the exact same thing. He’d be happy to sit on the couch with you by his side for eternity.

Eventually, mugs are empty and the movie ends. You’ve shifted, your head is leant on Eddie’s shoulder and your legs curled up under a blanket. You fell asleep on him and he really doesn’t want to wake you, but he knows you’ll get a kink in your neck and not enough rest if you stay this way.

He brushes the baby hairs from your forehead, plants a kiss on your head, “hey, wake up.”

You mumble something incoherent before peeking your eyes open and trying again.

“Hi.”

“Hi, honey. Let’s get you to bed, okay?”

He helps you up, and cleans up the living room while you get ready for bed. As you settle beneath his covers, he comes in, now clad in boxers and a band tee, and grabs an extra pillow from his bed. He’s about to walk out the door when you speak up.

“Where are you going?”

“Um. The couch?” He’s confused because this is the routine that always happens when you stay over. Never once have you questioned him until now. “Like usual.”

“Will you stay? With me?”

“You sure?”

When you nod, almost shy, he walks back to the bed and places his pillow next to the one you lay on. He doesn’t know what’s different about this time, if maybe things were worse for you or maybe you just wanted him there, but he’s happy to lay next to you.

When you’re both settled under the blankets, turned towards each other and noses almost touching, you surprise him again.

“Would you… hold me?”

His arms are open for you, inviting you to move in close, “c’mere.”

Your head finds a spot on his chest, an arm around his stomach, and your legs tangled with his. He’s holding you close to him, running a hand up and down your back to soothe you. It’s really nice.

“Thank you, Eddie.”

“I’m always gonna be here, honey.”

I love you, he wants to add.

“I know.”

I love you, is on the tip of your tongue.

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