#BUT I really need him to understand the seriousness of him not telling mum and I think he won't get it

[aw-bean-s]

.

#Trying to figure out how to convince my chatty anxious gp who likes my mum not to tell my parents my medical info #I just really need to tell someone who I won't hurt that I'm like. Massively suicidal. And this I the worst its been since I was 12 #But I also need mum not to know bc that fucks up my whole system of 'how not to kill/hurt self' that I've constucted over the years #Like as soon as she knows that's mentally taken a lot of pressure off of not doing it #Which gives me carte blanche to just like. Go ham as it were #Also if anyone sees this don't worry im alright right now this is just the frustration of like. Doing maths basically #It's so annoying bc the only thing I can come up with is threatening him. which is mean. And bad. #Like go half 'if you tell mum I will hurt myself it won't b your fault but it will happen' and half 'that's my private info #I told you not to share it you had no reason and I'll go to the privacy commissioner' #But like I said this guys nice and a family friend and I don't wanna do that it's mean :(( #BUT I really need him to understand the seriousness of him not telling mum and I think he won't get it #so it's looking like I'd spend half the appointment telling him not to tell mum #and on top of all of this my ear needs checking! Like I have an actual medical issue! #Fml #Vent

[mj0702]

The other Bronze - Part One

Here we go again 🤣 Thank you (as always) to Crush and Bubs

(the bad Spanish is courtesy of Google and if you find typos or anything please point them out to me 😉)

Y/n POV

You finally walked the last steps towards the door of your Sisters small house at the Outskirts of Barcelona. What you're doing in Barca on a random Friday Night? You wanted to surprise Lucy for her Birthday. It took a lot of begging to Mum and Dad to let you fly all on your own from Manchester to Barcelona and when you turned your phone on after landing, you had 26 missed calls and 15 messages already, the last one from your older Brother Jorge telling you to text him if the Plane crashed and you died – real Clown that one. You phoned Mum, telling her that the Flight was just a little delayed and that your still very much alive and not Shark food in the Ocean. You knew Lucy had training, so you stayed a little longer at the Airport, watching people, drinking Coffee. You found some nice company in a Girl, who waited for her Girlfriend and surprisingly spoke English. So know you're currently walking up the steps towards Lucy's front door, her spare key (which you got from Mum, in case Lucy wasn't home), my Earplugs blasting Music and you opened the door – boy what a mistake.

„Luuuucccyyyy!! Happy Birth... OH MY GOD MY EYES!!! OH EW!!“ you started to yell out in horror before spotting my Sister on her Couch. Naked. With another Girl on her knees in front of her, her head buried between your Sisters legs. You turned around as quick as you could, shutting the Door behind you. A few minutes later, some shuffling and swearing from the inside, said door got ripped open again.

„What are you doing here?“ Lucy asked you and you couldn't tell if she was pissed off or just annoyed.

„Surprise??“ you say, your back still facing her.

„Why do you have a Key to my Apartment? You can turn around by the way“ she sounded annoyed, which was good – annoyed is better than pissed off.

„Mum... I just saw things I never wanted to see ever“ you shrugged like it was self-explanatory. „Dear bloody Jesus“ your Sister huffed out, before grabbing your Arm, starting to pull you inside, as you tried to stop her by holding on to the Door frame

„I'm NOT going back in there again“ you say, gagging for good measure.

„Stop being difficult“ Lucy said, putting her arm around your Shoulders instead, having more leverage. Back inside you were sat down at the Kitchen table, the Girl from earlier just making some Coffee.

„I hope you sanitized that Table“ you mumbled, before looking at your Sister „No way you haven't fu...“

„If you finish that Sentence, I'll call Mum telling her that you broke that ugly Vase at Christmas three years ago“ Lucy narrowed her eyes at you, before turning to the Girl „Ona... this is my overly annoying baby Sister y/n... devils spawn... this is Ona, my Girlfriend“

You just looked at the Girl with a blank face nor knowing how to react to these news.

„Manners“ Lucy growled at you and slapped the back of your Head

„Hola“ you said to Ona, not really knowing what to think of her.

„Hola“ Ona smiled back, putting a cup of Coffee in front of you, which Lucy took away the instant it touched the Table „No hay café para ella“ she said to Ona, while ignoring your frustrated „Oi!!“.

„Por qué?“ the dark haired woman asked.

„Look at her.... she's already a pest, I don't need her caffeinated up“ Lucy answered, finally in English, while pointing at you.

„Aye you Arsepiece“ you huffed out, crossing your arms in front of your chest.

„You're English, not Scottish, ya wee shite“ your Sister grinned at you, but finally came over, ruffling you Hair, which is Lucy language for „I love you“.

“I was born in Scotland therefore I’m Scottish” you grumble out.

„I don't understand a word you two say“ Ona said confused, her spanish accent thick as she speaks english and Lucy laughed out loud

„All good...“. She then looks at you again „But seriously... what are you doing here?“.

„Wanted to surprise you for your Birthday... haven't seen you since the Euros“ you mumble a little embarrassed

„You... missed me“ Lucy smirked

„No... how could I miss your annoying Ass?“ you answered quickly and she KNEW she hit a nerve

„I missed you too, Devils Spawn“ she said, pulling you into a side hug

„You never told me you had a younger Sister, Lucia“ Ona said, smiling slightly at our interaction

You just raise an eyebrow at Lucy „Lucia? What have you done to fuck up so badly, that she uses your actual name?“

„Lucia is more common here, you daft punk...“ Lucy rolled her eyes at you still holding you to her side before answering her Girlfriend „I try to keep her away from the Spotlight“

„Oh...“ Ona said, like she understands, which you doubted „I'll leave you two to catch up, I'm going to go...“ she smiled

„Weren't you about to come a little while ago?“ you blurted out, which earned you a very hard punch to the shoulder courtesy of your lovely Sister

Ona just look confused, which causes you to laugh „You can explain that one, Kneeless... Bathroom that way?“.

As you renter the Kitchen, you see Lucy and Ona kissing in the Doorway. You comment it with a loud dry heaving sound. Lucy blindly throws a shoe at you, which misses by miles and you snap a photo of her. You can only see Lucys back and Onas Hands around her Neck, so it's obvious that there's someone else, but you can't see who. You sit back down at the Table, your Stomach starting to growl and you realize just how late it is. You shot up and run up to Lucy, grabbing her shirt, pulling hard successfully ending the make out session

„You have to phone Mum that I'm here, otherwise she'll send a search party and I'm already dead, because I didn't text her that I arrived safely“ you stumble over your words, because nothing is more scary than Mum Bronze in Mum Mode. Lucy rolled her eyes, pecking Onas lips again for a final goodbye, before pushing you back into the Apartment again

„You realize what I just gave up for you?“

„Multiple Orgasms, I know... I don't want to know, but I know... can I post a picture, saying I'm with you?“ you murmur the end of your question, knowing Lucy is very picky with private Pictures and even more, when you're involved

„Let me first call Mum, then let me check the Picture, then we decide what we get for dinner, okay?“ she pressed a Kiss to your temple, already her Phone in Hand, dailing Home.

She was on the Phone to Mum forever, apologizing telling her she was so happy to see you that we forgot to call her. Straight A+ lie, but if someone can pull it off, it's Lucy

„You owe me, Smol“ she said after ending the Call „Now show me that picture, so I can say No and we can go finding food, since my fridge is empty and I planned on eating something else tonight“ she grinned, as you start to dry heave again.

„Please... i REALLY don't want to think about it“ you say pained

Lucy laughed out loudly and you smiled. You really missed her.

„Show me the Picture“ she said, encouraging you, a smile playing around her lips, as you show her.

„That's a good one“ Lucy said after a minute of looking at it closely handing you the phone back „You can use that one... Just don't tag Ona please“

„I don't even know who she is“ you said looking apologetic „but I think she's nice“

Your Sister laughed again „She is... haven't felt like this since Keira“

„Why did you and Keira split up? I really liked her“ you said and Lucy looked at you for a second, really looked at YOU before answering

„We just fell out of Love... nobodies fault... it just happened and it wasn't fair to either of us to keep pretending“ Lucy said carefully, yet seriously, knowing that Topic was difficult for you

„As cliche as it sounds, but we're still friends and I know, Keira will be over the Moon seeing you again“. Truth is, when Lucy and Keira split up you refused to talk to your Sister for weeks, not grabbing fully why she would leave Keira. Keira who was a mixture between a big Sister and a Mother to you. Keira, who made you laugh, when you where sad. Keira, who carried you to bed, when you fell asleep during a Movie. Keira, who held you when you came crying into Lucys Bedroom, just woken up from a Nightmare. In the End, you was just too young to grab fully what was happening. Maybe not too young but you couldn’t understand the feelings behind it.

„Was it my fault?“ you whispered, always the nagging feeling at the back of your Head, that it was your fault they split up.

„What?“ Lucy asked confused „No... of course not! Y/n listen to me... it had NOTHING to do with you“

„But if I would have acted more grown up and not come running nearly every night..“ you stared and Lucy immediately knew what it was about

„Y/n... it had nothing to do with that... nothing! You went through something traumatic and we were honestly glad you trusted us enough to come to us or let us calm you down when you had a nightmare“ she said insistently, holding your look „You had nothing to do with what happened between Keira and I, do you understand me?“

„I just... I feel like it's my fault“ you look down, playing with your fingers

„It's not... and if you don't believe me, you can ask Keira...“ Lucy said, grabbing your Hands in hers, holding them tightly „It just happened“

You let her pull you into a hug and for the first time in a long time you felt safe and home.

„Thanks Luce“ you mumbled against her shoulder

„Always ya wee shite“ she said and you felt her smiling into your Hair.

Yes, even at 16 years old, Lucy is a whole Head bigger than you were. Your stomach growled again and Lucy laughed „What do you want to eat, I'll order“

„I'm in Spain... obviously I want Fish and Chips, Idiot... I want authentic spanish food“ you said sarcastically

„Smartass“ she rolled her eyes „We could also go out, whatever you want“

„It's YOUR Birthday... why do I have to choose? “ you said, honestly confused

„I was trying to be nice... I know a small little Restaurant, not too far from here“ she grinned at you

„Do I have to change for it?“ you asked, looking down at your button down shirt, ripped jeans and the baby blue chucks

„Other shoes and you're good to go“ Lucy said as she threw a pair of NIKEs your way „I'll just go change, don't do anything stupid“ she pointed her finger threatenly at you

„Never, my beloved Sister“ you say sarcastically.

While Lucy is changing, you decided against posting the picture of Lucy and Ona kissing online. You know your Sister values her privacy and even she gave you the ok, it didn't feel right – but that doesn't mean you couldn't send it to someone else... Keira.

Y/n: ~ inserts picture ~ It finally happened Kei... I walked in on her... thankfully I haven't eaten today, otherwise Lucy would have to clean that up too

Keira: You're in Barcelona, Bitsy?! Why didn't you tell me?

Y/n: Sure am... wish I wasn't tho... ehm... surprise?

Keira: I hope you didn't plan to fuck off without saying hi... and don't kid yourself, Bitsy... that definitely wasn't the first time you walked in on your Sister ;)

Y/n: of fucking course not... and how would you know that, Ms. Walsh?

Keira: Because I was there :p

After you read Keiras last Text, you threw your Phone to the other End of the Couch with a loud „EW!!“.

Lucy came running from the Bedroom, looking at you shocked „What happened?? Are you okay?“. „I walked in on you and Keira???“ you cried out in agony.

„What?“ Lucy looked at you confused. You showed her your Phone, which caused her to laugh – full on belly laugh „Oh yeah... I forgot about that“ Lucy laughed.

„I WALKED IN ON YOU AND KEIRA???“ you screeched horrified.

„Yep... multiple times actually“ Lucy grinned.

„Oh god... I think I need to throw up? When... wait no... don't answer that“

Your Sister laughed again, throwing a coat towards you, silently telling you that you were leaving. „Is it okay, if I invite some people?“ she asked you, as you leave the Apartment.

„It's your Birthday, Luce – you can invite whoever you want“ you shrugged your Shoulders. „Whomever“ Lucy corrected you automaticly, before she pulled out her phone and send some texts. „Smartass“ you mumble as your Sister put her Arm around your Shoulders, manoeuvring you through the City.

Just as you rounded a corner into a small side road, someone shoulder checked you, turning around, yelling something in spanish at you. You looked at the guy confused, feeling Lucy going into protective Mode, making herself bigger by your Side. Before she could say anything, you looked at the Guy, yelling at him „Cállate la Boca, matildo hijo de puta!“

Your Sister looked shocked at you as does the Guy. You put on your best Bronze-Fightingface, before making a step towards him. Just as the Guy made up his mind and also took a step towards you, a Woman pushed right in between you two oozing confidence and started talking calmly to the Guy. She was pretty but damn – she was intimidating. The Guy talked back twice, before turning around, leaving the little alley

„What the Hell, Y/n??“ Lucy yelled at you „What the hell did you say to that guy? I understood ONE word and know it wasn't a compliment – and since when do you speak spanish?“

She then turned to the Woman „Hola Alexia... Gracias por interferir“

„Ningún problema“ the woman smiled at my Sister

„And you“ she turned to you „Where did you learn that?“

And there was that intimidating look again, which made you gulp. You grew up with Lucy Bronze, but this woman scared you. You pushed yourself behind your Sister, trying to hide

„Answer her“ Lucy pulled you out from behind her.

You just shook your Head and mumbled „She scares me Luce“

„Good“ your Sister mumbled „now answer her“

You shook your Head again. The woman looked at you and smiled slightly

„Excuse me. Hi, my name is Alexia, I'm a teammate and friend of your Sister“

You're still careful, not to stand to close to her „Hi... Y/n... I'm.. the Sister of my Sister“

This actually made her laugh, while Lucy groaned and started to rub her forehead embarrassed

„So... now that we know each other, where did you learn to offend spanish people? As much as I gathered, you don't speak spanish..“ Alexia said and immediately she got all scary again

„I... no... yes?“ You looked at her and tried to hide behind Lucy again, who groaned again. „Cariño.... my patience is wearing quite thin... you better start talking” Alexia said sweetly, but you knew it was a fair warning

“A girl at the Airport taught me... I just tried to order a coffee, which is SO hard in your country and the Barista didn't understand me and she kinda took over and ordered for me... as a thank you, I paid for hers... and we sat together as she waited for her Girlfriend and since we had time, she taught me some spanish” you stutter out

“Do you even know what you just said?” Alexia looked at you shocked

“ehrm... no... but the girl said I have to put on a Bitchface after saying it... she was cool...”

“Y/n... you just can't throw around spanish phrases, because SOMEONE told you” Lucy pressed.

“She look trustworthy” you defended yourself

“Cariño...” Alexia said softly “... don't EVER say that again, because you will get hurt in the process”

“Is it bad?” you ask unsure

“It is...” the Spanish woman said “... and if I ever find that Girl, that taught you, I will have a VERY serious talk with her... in spanish” she winked at you

“What are the Odds” you mumbled and Lucy looked at you

“What odds?” she asked you confused

“That girl just turned around the Corner” you said, pointing at a Girl, laughing loudly with some other girls

“I should have known” Alexia groaned out “María Pilar León Cebrián!!! Nosotras necesitamos hablar!!!” she yelled out

The Girl in questions Head snapped towards Alexias angry Voice, her laughter dying in her throat. She made eye contact with you, her eyes went comically wide and you could swear, you saw her mouthing the word “Fuck”, before slowly starting to walk backwards

“Oh please do” Alexia sneered, while walking towards Maria “Please start running, so I can chase after you because after I caught you, I'm gonna drag your sorry Ass up to Nuo and let you run Laps until Training is over and then some more...”

You turned towards your Sister “Isn't Nuo Egg?” you ask confused

“Huevo is Egg.. Nuo is the Stadium where we train and play” Lucy explained

“Ah... and why is Alexia calling me Cariño ... is that some weird spanish name?” you said, still confused

This Time Lucy laughed out loud, while Alexia is “actively” having a word with Maria – she was outright yelling at the poor Girl. You actually did feel sorry for her. Maria looked very guilty, trying to explain, but not getting a word in.

“Cariño is a form of endearment... something like Honey”

“Excuse me?? She could have at least taken me out on a Date first” you huffed, but smiled.

“Are you causing trouble already?” a voice behind you said amused. You turned around and sprinted off, throwing yourself in the Womans arms.

“I missed you, Keira” you mumbled into her neck, while she's hugging you tightly

“I missed you too, Bitsy” she kissed your Hair, not breaking the contact

You felt safe in her arms. Lucy came over after getting over her initial shock of you just sprinting off

“For once, it wasn't her causing the Trouble... it was Mapí” Lucy said, nodding towards a still yelling Alexia with her head

“What a surprise – Mapí causing trouble... these two would absolutely cause havoc” Keira laughed, not letting go of you

“Take a guess, why Mapí is getting yelled at... they have met already” your Sister grinned

“Oh god” Keira groaned laughing “What has Mapí done?”

“She taught me spanish” you said proudly

“What did she teach...” the other english woman started before getting interrupted by Lucy “Don't!!!! Don't ask!”

Keira was a little taken aback, but didn't ask any further

“She taught me a phrase... apparently it's a bad one and I'm not allowed to say it again, otherwise the scary Woman will have my Ass” you said, still pressed into Keiras side

“Scary Woman?” Keira raised an eyebrow at Lucy

“Alexia” your Sister answered shrugging her shoulders

“Mapí would like to say something” said Woman stood behind you three, her hand grabbing the back of Marias neck, who looked like a kicked puppy

“Lamento mucho haberte enseñado algo malo” the smaller Woman mumbled, clearly not happy or comfortable with the situation

“En Inglés” Alexia rolled her eyes “As you maybe remember, little Bronze doesn't speak spanish”. “Su hermana lo hace - ella puede traducir” Maria said

“Maria” Alexia warned “Deja de ser difícil y discúlpate correctamente”

“I'm sorry for teaching you bad spanish” the younger woman huffed out annoyed

“It's...” you started, before Alexia interrupted you “And now we try to say that, like we really mean it” she said to Mapí, grabbing her neck a little tighter

“I'm sorry” the younger girl winced

“Very good” Alexia smiled, but everyone saw it was fake, before getting a stern face again “You still will run laps tomorrow”

“What??? I apologized” Mapí said shocked

“Still doesn't change the fact, that you nearly caused a fight – if I hadn't stepped in, she most like would have end up in the Hospital with a broken nose... or worse” Alexia said

“Oi!” you yelled out “I may be small, but I can hold myself, thank you very much”

“We” Alexia looked at you sternly “Will talk tomorrow”

You gulped again, making yourself smaller at Keiras side, who had watched the whole interaction with an amused grin on her face.

“Can we get food now?” you whispered into Keiras side

The Midfielder laughed loudly “Let's go” she said as she pulled you into the small Restaurant, everyone following you. You sat between Lucy and Alexia, Mapí to Alexias right, next to her her Girlfriend Ingrid, Keira was to Lucys left with one seat free in between them for when Ona would join.

“What's edible here?” you ask to no one particular, studying your menu.

“Should I order for you, Cariño?” Alexia ask, wanting to make you feel welcome and comfortable “If this is you aassuming that this is a date, then no...” you say distracted, still try to figure out the menu.

Alexia was taken aback, while your Sister laughed.

“But what is... potatoes braves?” you asked, looking up confused.

Mapí clutched her heart dramatically “My heart... my Heart burns... I think I have a heart attack.. is this what a heart attack feels? My poor Heart”

“What is her deal?” you asked your Sister, who already had tears in her eyes from laughing

“You just absolutely BUTCHERED her language and food” Keira said, her tone dry as usual still looking over the menu.

“But it says there...” you climbed on top of Lucy, your Knee pressing into her thigh, causing her to groan out in pain, to show Keira on the Menu “Potatoes braves... or something like that”

“Patatas Bravas” Keira corrected you “It is potatoes, but it's not called Potatoes and definitely not Braves..”

“Look at you, all fancy spanishing” you rolled your eyes at her, but she knew you didn't mean it.

“Could you please finally get off me?” Lucy groaned out, pushing you back on your chair “When did you get so heavy?”

“Are you calling me fat, Arse biscuits??” you challenged her by raising an eyebrow

“What if I do, Twat McFuckknuckle?” Lucy taking your bait, raising her eyebrow as well

“Stop it! Both of you, we have company AND in public” Keira said sharply, successfully interrupting your interaction “God the two of you – always trouble”

You kicked Lucys ankle lightly under the Table, she shoving you, pushing you successfully into Alexia.

“Sorry... she pushed me” you mumbled out, while shoving Lucy back.

Alexia looked at Keira “Are they always this violent towards each other?”

“Oh this isn't violent – this is actually them behaving” Keira smiled fake, watching you two shoving each other “Just wait till there's food on the Table – THEN it gets violent”.

Just as they were about to order, Ona joined the small Group, pressing a small Kiss to Lucys lips. You watched that interaction with a frown on your face. You cared deeply for Keira and assumed it wasn't easy on her watching her Ex and her new Girlfriend kissing right in front of her. You carefully looked at Keira, but saw her laughing with Ingrid, who changed seats for conversation purposes.

“What's this dark look on your face, Cariño?” Alexia whispered in your ear, unknowing to you, she always had an eye on you.

“Nothing” you said flatly, not wanting to start a scene “I'm just hungry”

It was your Sisters Birthday after all and she looked very happy with Ona.

“Dinner will be served soon, don't worry” the Barca captain said lightly, putting a hand on your bouncing knee.

“Ale?” Mapí asked from Alexias other side.

“Si?” the woman in question looked at her younger Teammate

“Can we swipe seats?” Mapí asked hopefully.

You look at her confused “You want to what?”

“Swipe seats... I take Alexias, she sits in my seat” the young spanish said

“Oh... OH... you mean swap...” you say as you realize what she wants “and they say I butcher a language”

“No” Alexia said sternly “before you ask, you two won't be anywhere unsupervised”

“Oi” you exclaim “I'm very capable of looking after myself”, while Mapí exclaimed something in spanish.

“No idea what she said, but she's right” you say, pointing at Mapí

“Enough” Alexia said sternly, both of you stop complaining immediately.

Keira looked impressed at Alexia, trying to hide her smirk. Lucy was in her own world with Ona, ignoring everything around her. Finally there was Food on the Table and before the Plagrabfor everyone even were placed on the Table, you and Mapí already starting to grab whatever you could reach. Alexia watched in horror, as you two just loading food on your own plates without waiting for the rest “Excuse me? María León... I know for a fact that you have manners and won't just load your plate with food without WAITING for everyone else – especially for the Woman who celebrates her birthday today... isn't that right, María?”

Mapí looked down on her plate guilty, before starting to put the food back.

“I thought so” Alexia said, still a mad undertone in her voice

You on the other Hand didn't care one bit. You grew up in the Bronze household. You snooze, you loose. You threw a little fried something into your mouth, chewing happily. That was until the spiciness kicked in. Your eyes went wide, tears starting to form in your eyes and you started to have problems to breath. As always, you turned to Keira for help, throwing food at her to get her attention.

“Y/n please... I didn't raise you for years so you start throwing food in public” the Woman said, turning to you before realizing what was happening. Once she saw you in your distressed state, she immediately came over, pulling you out of your chair and out of the restaurant. Lucy finally noticed her surroundings, as Keira pulled you outside. She jumped up, following the two of you outside

“What happened?” Lucy asked worried, seeing you having difficulties to breath and tears streaming down your face.

“I don't know. She suddenly started to throw food at me, I actually was about to tell her off, but saw her having problems to breath and got her out” Keira gave Lucy a rundown, while keeping you upright

“It's okay, Bitsy... calm down” Keira started to talk to you in a low, soothing voice “Take a deep breath for me”

You tried to follow her instructions, but with no luck. Lucy finally sprung into action grabbing you by your shoulders, making you look at her

“Did you eat something?”

You nod, still trying your hardest to breath.

“Spicy?”

You nod again, thankful that your Sister keeps a cool head.

“You're doing good, Bubs... Do you know what you've eaten?”

You shake your head.

“Okay... we can work with that” Lucy said, a small reassuring smile on her lips, turning to Keira “Could you get something dairy.. milk... yoghurt... whatever”

“Sure” Keira smiled before disparaging inside the Restaurant.

“It's okay, Bubs... it's going to get better soon, I promise – just... don't shovel everything into your gob without asking next time.. these guys here are absolutely unholy when it comes to spicy food”. Just as your Sisters calm voice started to work on your nerves, Keira appeared with a glass of milk AND yoghurt

“Drink Bitsy” she smiled assuringly at you, pushing the glass of milk into your hands.

You took a sip and immediately felt your tight chest loosen up. Greedily you drowned the whole glass, feeling better with every gulp.

“Fuck” was the first word, that left your mouth after you regain your breathing again.

“You okay now, Bubs?” Lucy asked concerned.

“Getting there” you said, leaning forward, your hands on your knees “But I think I need to throw up”

Lucy pulled you upright quickly “Are you serious?”

“Yep” you breathed deeply, your stomach on a wrath for torturing it

“I'm getting you home right now” your Sister said seriously “Spicy is one thing, but your stomach is normally made of steel, that's not normal”

You just groaned

“Stay” Keira said to your Sister “It's your Birthday – I'll take her to my Place and have an eye on her... you stay and enjoy your evening, okay?”

“I can't ask that of you, Kei” Lucy said softly

“You're not asking... I'm offering” Keira smiled softly “If she feels up for it, we can meet for brunch or lately at training”

“Thank you” Lucy whispered, hugging her Ex-Girlfriend before turning to you “You behave... be good for Keira”

You nod before Keira wraps you into a hug, leading you away.

As soon as you're out of earshot and view, Keira let go of you and grinned knowingly “You can stop pretending now...”

You looked at her shocked “How did you know?”

“I was always able to tell... your sister is right, you have a stomach made of steel... your whole face changed after you drank the milk and I knew you're alright again... what I don't know is why you put on a show” the english Woman smirked at you, as she called you out

“Didn't want you to put up with Lucy and her new One being all lovey-dovey all evening... and I didn't want to put up with it either” you mumble caught.

Keira started to laugh loudly “Oh Bitsy... I see that lovey-dovey every day... it's okay for me... Lucy deserves to be happy...”

You looked at Keira and she knew there was more to it.

“What's wrong, Bitsy?” she ask lovingly

“I feel like it's my fault you broke up...” you mumble, having a hard deja-vu

“Oh sweetheart... no it's not... Lucy and I just grew apart. It happens and it's nobodies fault, especially not yours... but there's more, isn't it?” Keira said softly

“I don't like the new one” you mumble out, looking down embarrassed

“Why? Ona is a good person, she's good to and for your Sister”

“She looks like she doesn't even need to shave” you exclaimed.

Keira bursted out laughing “You're one of a kind, Bitsy... trust me... Ona is a good Person and she's good for Lucy... I know you're always struggling with change, but please.. give Ona a chance, she'll surprise you”

“M'kay” you mumble.

You arrived at Keiras Apartment, she let you both in before setting up her guest room for you. You went on exploring Keiras home. You were about to open a cabinet as she called from the guest room “Don't you dare open my Cabinets... I love you but you're a clutz”.

You quickly let go of the handle, looking at the pictures hanging on the wall instead. You spotted one of yourself and Lucy, sound asleep on your Couch in Manchester. You laid on top of Lucy, while she was sprawled out under you, her right arm over your back, holding you safely, her knee carefully placed on some pillows, her glasses askew on her face, your hand fisted in her shirt.

“I love that picture” Keiras voice soft behind you “I came back from training, wondering why she hadn't answered my texts about dinner... I walked in and both of you were softly snoring on the Couch. Your leg was so close to her freshly operated knee, that I was afraid you'd hurt it, if you move and I tried to lift you off her, but both of you started to stir as soon as I moved you. So I just let you sleep – after I took a picture. I think Lucy slept for another hour and you slept for nearly three more hours”

Keiras voice was soft and full of love, that you started crying silently. Another picture showed Lucy and Keira in a park, you asleep in between them. You pointed at the picture, your back still facing her.

“London” Keira said understanding you even without words “Our first anniversary.. She planned this whole Weekend to the brim, with fancy Restaurant, Musical Show, Sightseeing... everything... then your parents got so sick with the flu, that we took you with us... her plans went so fast out the window” Keira laughed quietly “but we improvised and instead of fancy restaurant we did pick-nick in Hyde Park – and I wouldn't change it for the world. You were so done after a day of exploring the city and all of the sights, that you were out like light as soon as you sat down”

You pointed at the next picture, again the three of you.

“You can't remember this one?” she asks you surprised.

“I do” you whisper “but... please”

“Paris” Keira said softly “Third anniversary.. Lucy just joined Lyon and invited me over to France for our anniversary She told me, she has the weekend off and wanted to take me to Paris – I honestly thought she would propose... Somehow you heard Lucy talking to your mum and begged her to let you come as well. It was the first time you two were separated and everyone could see that it was so hard on you. Lucy said as long as I'm okay with it, you could come. I remember you being so over the top with your nerves, that you ran around the Airport like a maniac... I lost you twice” Keira chuckled “and as soon as we started, you were out like a light again. In Paris, I had do carry you off the Plane, because you wouldn't wake up – and I still had to get our luggage AND carry you. It took me forever and Lucy was starting to panic that I bailed until she saw me, packed like a Donkey holding onto your sleeping form, dragging our bags behind me. And what did she do? She first smiled and then laughed – but it was the most beautiful sound in the world to me”

“Do you miss her?” you asked quietly.

“Of course I do” Keira answered honestly.

“Do you still love her?”

“I love her, yes... but I'm not IN love with her” she said.

You finally turned around, hugging her tightly.

“I miss you at home... so much” you mumble into her shoulder, tears rolling down your cheeks. Keira held you tightly “Oh sweet girl.. I miss you too – I really do”

You stayed like this for a moment, before your eyes grew heavy and Keira carefully walked the two of you towards the Guest bedroom, not letting go of you. You held onto her for dear life, letting her guide you.

As Keira kicked the door of the Guest room open, you mumble into her shoulder “Don't wanna sleep alone”

The english Woman chuckled lightly “I thought so... I just thought I'd offer, just in case... being a good host and everything”

She guided you towards her own Bedroom and sat you down on the Bed. You already were half asleep and whined tiredly as Keira let go of you. She smiled at your hunched over form

“Hush you... I need to change and get ready for bed – you too by the way”

You whined again “too much effort”

“Come on” Keira pulled at your Shirt “Teeth, Face, Change”

You felt like being Seven all over again.

“Nooooo” you whined out.

“Don't start... I'm not Lucy, I'm not a push-over... seven years of me in your life should have taught you that” Keira said severe.

You huffed heavy-hearted, before pushing off the Bed, shuffling towards the bathroom.

Keira smiled to herself “Still a big baby”.

After both of you went through your nightly Routine, with Keira basically brushing your teeth for you and changed your button down shirt with a normal shirt to sleep in, you made it into bed, where you immediately cuddled into Keiras arms and closed your Eyes. The older Woman kissed the Crown of your Head as she mumbled sweet nothings into the dark room, knowing you'd fall asleep in an instant.

Part 2 follows... at some point 😅

#keira walsh x reader #woso image #lucy bronze x reader #ingrid engen x reader #mapi leon x reader #alexia putellas x reader #barca femeni

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 2.1

Cynthia and John are worse and crazier for admitting what they admitted in the bio. But Jane and Paul are not exempt.

Will forever love this pic of Paul and Julian. He does not look like the fun uncle. He looks tired and dependable. Just stepped out of the womb as a father, didn't he? The sperm that fertilized his egg probably passed some fatherly advice and hair tussles to the other sperm as it passed them. 

They should've bought the fucking island.

They never look more like a couple than when the women they're actually dating are right next to them. 

The India footage actually looks so beautiful. Obviously it's a beautiful place, but they all genuinely look so free and at peace there. It really could've been so good for them. Getting enlightened, getting soberish, growing closer as a band, taking a much-needed rest. It should've been good. 

The music choices in this documentary! The drastic shift from, “all you need is love” and “the dream I had was true” and “I don't need much to set me free.” to Paul leaving to “yes I'm lonely. Wanna die.” “I'm going insane.” “Look at me. Who am I supposed to be?” 8d8 psychic damage. And the thing is it's real. John really did flip a switch, just like that.

Smashing my head into a wall. It's the same as Yoko's quote about how ‘nobody hurt John more than Paul.’ Really Pete? Worse than after his mum died? Really Yoko? More than that drunk cop? Paul, what the fuck did you do to him in India, seriously, because at this point in the doc I can't accept the theory that it was just some lack of communication, I just can't. 

It's also telling to me that when John's losing it, everyone's solution is some time alone with Paul. Nobody panic. Paul can fix him. Little do they know Paul's the one that broke him. Or maybe they do know and that's only another reason they know Paul's the only man for the job?

Old-fashioned ad voice: You liked Protective Jesus Scandal Paul? You'll love Protective LSD Scandal John! Really. Before the question is even out, he's making fun of it. I think he cuts off the interviewer at least three times with jokes before he can get the sentence out, and by the time he is, Paul's giggling too hard to feel bad about his little PR fuck-up.

Then he lets Paul talk a bit before jumping back in, this time with his Hard Man suit on. It's just so good. A testament to their unconditional love, really. Because, clearly, Paul's just hurt John pretty bad. And yet, here John is. Using every trick he's got to defend his friend. 

But actually, though John is supposedly the one everyone's worried about, Paul's doing a pretty shit job of being the “stable” one. This entire press tour he's either fucking blazed and laughing at everything or disassociated and not contributing.

(((except during that political discussion – again! Paul secretly has actual thoughts on actual things?!)))

But for the most part, John's absolutely holding down the fort. I wonder if this is another case of everyone – all their friends and business associates, just like we as a fandom still do now – assuming John is the problem child, and Paul's the strong one, but actually they're both both. 

Back to the political interview. They're just so in sync. Finishing each other's sentences when you're talking about the weather or your shared work is one thing. Finishing each other's sentences on complex topics like why poor whites often vote bigots in or the cause of rampant misinformation is quite another. 

“Letting his dad cut his hair at sixteen, seventeen.” You all know that John hates Jim quote. 

John: so there's war, and vegetables. There's relativity and absolute.  Paul (absolutely smitten): that's great Johnny. Int: that's rather hard for people to interpret. John: well if they can't interpret it now, maybe they will later..... 1. John really was extremely intelligent. 2. That last statement sums up Beatles historiography.

Paul really just Won't be alone with John, will he? Well, two can play at that game, Paul, and John's going to win, let me tell you. 

But he's going to do one last panic grab for attention first.

I really do think if John had done something like that *before* Paul would've given him that attention. Told him he's being insane and taken him home to splash some cold water on him or something and then given him whatever softness Paul was capable of. But not anymore. 

I wonder if Paul could go back to 1966 if he just wouldn't have taken John to that Indica show where he met Yoko. If he would've just said “okay John, sure, let's just stay home and trip on the couch tonight.” I don't know.

Anyway, Yoko gets an A+ for persistence. Imagine being Paul, George, or Ringo, though, and John is suddenly madly in love with this woman whose been begging you all (and then him specifically) for a platform for over a year? It would be weird to say the least. 

John: don't you hate me? I'm crazy, you know. Paul: no I don't hate you. John: aren't you pissed at me now, Paul? Even a little bit? Paul: I'm very proud of you. It's the unstoppable force (“Don't ‘nore me, Mimi!”) vs the immovable object (“I learned to put a shell around me”.) Someone get them some professional help before they nuke the whole world. 

“There is, however, a desire to get power in order to use it for good.” One of those quotes that just really lets you see a person, you know? Benevolent dictator Paul. 

Yoko, why are you talking about how bad your boy doesn't want to fuck you right in front of all his closest friends and on record for posterity? If you have to be talking about your sex life, shouldn't you be lying about how insanely horny he is for you? Oh, right, she will think of that, just not yet. 

And then she waxes poetic about how turned on John is when he's working on music with Paul. Cool. Smart. Thanks for that, though, genuinely.

And Then (gosh, Yoko is such an asset to Beatles history when she's not actively spreading misinformation. Everyone give her a hand) she goes on about how Paul goes out of his way to make her feel respected and even valued. Compare that to John and Linda, anyone? And I want to be clear, I'm not saying this means John cares too much and Paul doesn't care at all, which might be the surface read. I just think John's reaction was to scream in everyone's face that he was in pain and Paul's was to insist ad nauseam that he was fine. You know?

#paul mccartney #the beatles #john lennon #mclennon #ringo starr #george harrison #yoko ono #linda eastman #ulm #understanding lennon mccartney

[therhythmafterthesummer]

I'm the anon who sent the ask about Pack Mum and her frustrations; your version is fucking top notch (I'm just a switchy bitch lol) and let's be real, don't we all need a bit of that in our lives? 😩😩😩 would love to see Chris' version of that too, whatever you write is going to be amazing either way 😍

previous ask for reference

fun fact, i have a handful of drabbles written for these two that have never left my google docs (some of them probably won't, ever), since i use them as practice. for this particular scenario i already had something written, so might as well share it with y'all. please bear with me, this is barely proof read sjkdfhsdkjf

Pairing: Werewolf!Chan x Human!F.Reader (one of the main pairings of my WereRoomies series, but you don’t really need to read any other instalments to understand/enjoy this one). | Word Count: ~2k. | Warnings: smut | established relationship · pet names · oral [F.&M.Rec] · edging · face sitting/fucking, all that good stuff · spanking

minors do not interact.

> Chris💕🐺: pretty baby  > howre u feeling today > ???

< You: hey darling < i’m very meh < but still standing so it’s fine < you? 

> Chris💕🐺: im having a really bad day > dont wanna get into details but god i just wanna be home

< You: oh no ): < can i help you in any way?

You saw the ‘Typing…’ text under Chris’ contact name pop up and disappear a few times before he finally replied.

> Chris💕🐺: actually… > maybe > u can say no btw > but > would u sit on my face and let me edge you for a long while when im back home?

< You: how long is a long while?

> Chris💕🐺: a really long while > as much as u can stand it > just wanna dive between ur legs > want to suffocate on your cunt and your thighs baby > so bad > fuck > had to come to hide in the restroom for a bit cuz im so hard rn just thinking about it

You couldn’t help but chuckle. But being honest with yourself, the proposition certainly gave you a similar reaction to Chris’. All you could think about now was having your boyfriend’s tongue between your legs, aided by his lips and his nose to bring you to that sweet, sweet edge over and over again…

Wetness was starting to pool at your centre, your thighs pressed together to ease some of that familiar ache, and you honestly had to make the conscious effort to remember you were still at the office, in a very public space.

Your phone vibrating again in your hand brought you back from your little day dream.

> Chris💕🐺: again > u can totally say no

< You: mmm🤔 < i’d love to sit on my alpha’s handsome face < would you let me grind on it baby?

> Chris💕🐺: fuck… yes > anything as long as u just dont come > not until i tell you to > or until u cant take it anymore > yeah? 

< You: yea 😇

> Chris💕🐺: fuck > ure so good to me pretty > seriously > im gonna make u feel so good love > hydrate yourself as much as u can > its gonna be so worth it > love u prettiest

< You: love you babiest

The rest of your workday was honestly a blur. All you could think about was the evening that awaited you. So, when you finally reached home–with your boyfriend nowhere in sight–you simply took a quick shower to get squeaky clean and got yourself into one of his t-shirts to ensure his scent was all over you when he came home.

As soon as Chris made it through the front door he gave you a quick kiss, dropped his belongings wherever, and made a beeline to the bathroom to take a shower–all as he discarded pieces of clothing on the way. A very delightful sight, you’d admit.

Now here you were, laying on the sofa and scrolling on your phone, waiting for him to come out.

The second he’d gotten out of the shower, barely even patting himself dry, with his hair still wet, Chris made his way to you.

Before you could even stand up, he was already hovering over you, kissing you deeply for a moment, only to finally trace a path of kisses to your neck so he could nibble at your pulsepoint.

“Been thinking about you all day, pretty baby”, he mumbled against your skin, licking the area and kissing it after. 

“Me too, darling…” A sigh of relief passed your lips, while you all but melted under the attention your boyfriend was providing to your neck. “You got me so wet”, taking a hold of his hand, you guided it to your core, where his fingers traced your folds, spreading your essence with a deep inhale. “So fucking wet just thinking about you, Chris”. 

“Fuck…You smell so fucking good…” Burying his face further in the crook of your neck, he sucked on your pulse point, just as he eased two fingers into you, making you moan in surprise as he diligently massaged your walls. 

You bared your neck, giving your boyfriend plenty of room for him to paint purple roses on your skin. Holding tightly onto his arms, you couldn’t help but squirm a little when he started to thrust his fingers in and out of you, once he started curling them to hit that sweet spot within your warmth.

“So tight, baby…” Chris mumbled as he eased a third finger into you, making you whine at the delicious stretch. “We don’t fuck for a couple of days and it’s almost like your cunt has forgotten me…” 

You shook your head, swallowing the saliva that had pooled in your mouth. “Impossible. She–she knows who she belongs to”.

“Fuck…” Pulling his fingers out of you, he straightened himself. “Come here, beautiful”.

Chris laid down, motioning for you to place each knee next to his head. You did as asked, staring at him between your legs as you lowered yourself, hovering just a bit while he caressed your thighs. 

“C’mon, baby”, Chris borderline whined, bringing his hands to your hips and holding you tightly. “Sit”. 

“I’m…baby, I don’t wanna crush you”.

This was a common debate when you found yourselves in this situation. Sometimes you didn’t even need to think twice about complying, but, as a heavier person, other times you were a bit unsure. Today was one of those days, clearly. And as usual, your boyfriend was quick to reassure you.

“Babe, we’ve been through this. I’m a fucking animal, remember? All that werewolf thing? You’re not gonna crush me”, he chuckled. “Sit on me, get comfy, and brace yourself, yeah?” 

With a deep inhale, you nodded, finally lowering yourself all the way. You couldn’t hold back the gasp that left your mouth as soon as you felt Chris’ tongue make contact with your heat. “Oh–”

His tongue running through your folds, teasing your entrance, licking your clit, sucking on it…Every single one of his motions had tingles of pleasure travelling up and down your spine, had your chest heaving, and quiet whines coming out of your mouth.

Bringing his hands to your thighs, he held you tightly in place, so tight you wondered if you’d see a mark left in the shape of his fingers later–something you were admittedly eager to see. He was groaning a lot, you were moaning a lot, and, in no time, he had reduced you to a whimpering mess.

Maybe it was all that daydreaming you’d been doing after he sent you those texts, maybe it was just how good your boyfriend was at working you up, but you were very quickly getting close to the edge, almost ready to tip over it.

“Baby…Chris, fuck, I’m…close”, your voice quivered a bit, and Chris simply hummed in response, finally slowing his movements. 

His hands roamed your body as his tongue flicked your sensitive nub, the pressure was light enough that the signs of your approaching orgasm seemed to be fading away. In all honesty, you weren’t sure if you were going to stand this at all. You’d try, of course, but you realised very quickly how badly you wanted your relief.

Kneading your breasts, Chris simply continued his motions, slowly licking your clit, or dipping his tongue inside of you for a taste. You couldn’t help but roll your hips, trying to get some extra stimulation. And whenever he licked at your entrance, his nose would bump your clit, and it had you pathetically whining as you ground your core on his face. 

When Chris finally opened his eyes to look at you, you stared right back. 

That stare-off had the fine hairs on the back of your neck standing on end, and you were immediately trapped in that undeniably predator look of his.

It was kind of amusing, how that look seemed to have the complete opposite effect it should have on you. It should’ve made you feel intimidated, scared, but after spending this much time with Chris, after giving yourself to him so many times already, the trust you had in him made it so that stare of his just made you want to be closer to him. It enticed you, it made you shiver, made you wetter, and, right now, just by looking at him, at that utterly primal desire in his eyes, you could feel yourself grow closer to your climax again.

You genuinely couldn’t tell how long you spent right there. You had already lost count of how many times he’d brought you to the edge by the fifth time. Your legs were starting to burn, your lower back hurt, and you suddenly felt like you needed something in your mouth. 

“C–Chris”, you tugged on his hair, gasping when he quickened the pace of his tongue. “Baby… Want–”

He squeezed your bum, one butcheek in each hand, surely bruising you with the strength of his grip. It made you dizzy, and you were sure you were dripping all over him by now. He released his hold on one of your buttocks, only to land a harsh smack on it after, urging you to speak, making you shamelessly moan with the action. 

Chris hardly ever spanked you–aside from a playful, mild smack here and there. He’d told you before that he felt like he already put your body through so much with everything else, adding that, too, was just unnecessary, and that it could possibly hurt you too much. But, fuck, if the sting felt good whenever he did.

“Need your cock, baby”, you finally sighed, trembling with your upcoming release. Chris gave you a curious look, not stopping his tongue for a second, so you decided to clarify. “In my mouth, Chris. Please…”

Taking a hold of your hips, he lifted you up a bit, enough to talk. “Turn around, pretty”.

Your legs were incredibly unsteady, but you managed to do it, finally laying on Chris with his tongue once again in its rightful place within your warmth. 

Saliva pooled in your mouth at the sight of your boyfriend’s cock. Incredibly hard, twitching, and with an impressive pool of pre-cum under his tip where it laid on his lower abdomen. He was clearly enjoying this a lot, and just the sight had you clenching with need..

When you took him in your hand, his thighs jerked a bit, and a moan muffled against your skin as he continued to feast on your cunt. You simply pumped him in your hand, once, twice, relishing just how hard he was. 

Wasting no more time, you licked a long stripe from his base to the tip, swirling your tongue around it for good measure. Until, finally, you took him in your mouth, eliciting a shared moan from the both of you. 

Chris’ hands dragged up and down your back, kneading your flesh as he went, moaning against your heat whenever you got him deeper into your mouth, whenever your nails dug on his thighs. 

All of a sudden, you felt Chris’ hand land harshly on one of your buttocks. The sudden sting made you moan around his length and clench around thin air. He did it again on the other, holding the supple flesh of your bum tightly in his hands right after in an attempt to soothe your skin. 

His length popped out of your mouth with a sinful sucking sound. With a hazy mind and a needy cunt, you were speaking before you could think twice about it. “More…”

Chris immediately complied, smacking one of your buttcheeks again, groaning lowly as your moans spilled freely out in the room without his cock in your mouth.

He repeated the motions a handful of times, all while you jerked him to the best of your now compromised motor skills. Your moans got increasingly more desperate the more he spanked you, and your whole body trembled with arousal.

“Pretty…” Chris mumbled, keeping you off of him enough so you could hear him, although you barely could, you were too far gone. “Put my cock back in your mouth, baby. Suck me off, and when I spank you again, you can come. Okay?” 

“Okay…”

“Good, good girl”, Chris pulled you back on his mouth, eliciting a shaky moan from your lips. 

You did as asked, taking him once again into your mouth and sucking him, rather eagerly, if you might add. Your lips caught on the ridge of his head time and time again, his tongue and his lips focused on your clit, licking and sucking harder and faster by the second, just how he did whenever he wanted you to come, and when you finally felt the sting on your ass again, you could hardly make sense of your surroundings anymore.

Before you knew it, your entire body shook with your release, desperately moaning around Chris’ length as pleasure tears fell from your eyes. It was so much, so intense, and when Chris held the back of your head in place with one of his hands and started to thrust up into your mouth you were sure you had already died and gone to heaven.

It felt like you were coming for an eternity, the sheer intensity of your release had you shaking and squirming in your boyfriend’s hold. The most satisfying part of it all, though, was when you vaguely registered Chris’ warmth flooding your mouth, making you moan once again just at the feel of his cum going down your throat, making you dizzy just by the blissed-out sounds that were coming out of his mouth. 

You swallowed it all, sucking on his tip until the very last drop of his release had coated your tongue, and as soon as Chris detached himself from your core, your body slumped, your vision clouded, and a ringing broke free in your ears.

“Baby? Baby, please. Talk to me”, Chris sounded so close. But how could he if your heads were in completely opposite directions?

“Pretty?” You felt his hands on your cheeks, and once you opened your eyes and saw the worried look on his face, you realised you were laying on the sofa, while he was crouching on the floor next to you. When did he move? He was just below you a few seconds ago. 

“Did I…Did I pass out?” You blinked at him, reaching for his hand on your face to softly caress the back of it. 

“Fuck, you did. For a few seconds. I thought I had choked you to death. Are you okay? I’m so sorry”, he was going into his Protective Alpha mode, and it made you smile. 

“I’m fine, baby. Don’t apologise. Give me a kiss”, you did feel a bit lightheaded, but you also felt light all over, as if your crushing orgasm had taken all the tension off of your body completely.

Chris sighed, pecking your lips, your nose, your cheeks, all over your face. “Fuck, give me a second. I’ll bring you some water”. 

You simply hummed, stretching your achy limbs and turning on your other side to face the backrest.

When Chris came back, you gulped the glass of water in one go before you gave it back to him so he could place it on the coffee table. 

You made grabby hands at him, and he chuckled, laying behind you and pulling you to his chest so he could press kisses on your shoulder.

“That was insane”, you mumbled while you caressed the arm he had wrapped around your waist. 

“It was, fuck…I got too carried away, you’re all bruised, love”, his fingers gently traced the curve of your bum, and you leaned into his touch. 

“Felt so good, though”, you sighed, content, further pressing your back to his chest. “So good I passed out, baby. That’s a new record”. 

Chris giggled, and you couldn’t help but giggle as well. 

“Do you feel better?” You asked, snuggling closer, relishing his warmth on your back, his warmth all around you.

“I feel like I won a million euros, a billion dollars, a trillion won…You get the point”, Chris nuzzled your nape, pressing lingering kisses there, all as he brought a hand to your belly to lightly squish your soft flesh. “Honestly just what I needed. For my pretty girlfriend to feel insanely good, and to blow my load in her perfect, warm mouth”.

You chuckled, taking a hold of his hand and bringing it to your lips so you could press a kiss on his palm, right before you turned around in his hold and cupped his cheeks, smiling at him. “I love you”. 

“Love you”, he repeated immediately, diving in for a kiss. When he pulled back, he held you tightly, pressing kisses on your cheeks. “You’re so good to me”.

“And you to me, baby”, you mumbled back, kissing him on the cheek before you tucked your head under his chin.

You both laid there for a moment, a moment of just your soft caresses on each other’s exposed skin. Until Chris heaved a satisfied sigh, pulling away from your embrace to stand up from the sofa.

“C’mon, pretty. Time to be pampered and cuddle in the tub”, Chris took you in his arms. A soft chuckle left your lips, and you held onto him, pressing tender kisses on his neck all the way to the bathroom.

© therhythmafterthesummer 2023. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate my stories.

figured i’d tag anyone that wants to be tagged in my wereroomies instalments. if you don’t want to be tagged in little ask responses like these let me know !

@222wonnie · @staaa96 · @oiminho · @straylightdream · @starshine-moon · @biribarabiribbaem · @100layersofdaddyissues · @dearalice · @alexis-reads-fics · @xcookiemonsteer · @knowleeknow · @chanlovesme · @liminaldaydream · @sstarryreads · @svngiem · @notastraykid · @princelingperfect · @violetpenguinkris · @leedunno · @peepeepoopooharrie · @aestheticsluut · @skzhomiehopper · @cessixja · @mimzibee · @hipsdofangirl · @djeniryuu · @floatingcoffecup · @minnysproutgriffinteddy · @moonmooncr · @phobia0325 · @leebitsimpracha · @viviixlyy · @casualenthusiastexpert · @kileidoscope · @kpop-bbdoll · @crispytigerearthquake · @meloncremesoda · @amaranth-writing · @fawnpeaks · @dalamjisung

#stray kids supernatural au #stray kids werewolf au #bang chan smut #stray kids smut #stray kids fanfiction #bang chan fanfiction #bang chan fic #bang chan x reader #chan x reader #skz fanfic #skz fanfiction #stray kids fanfic #werewolf chan #werewolf bang chan #✨🌙✏ #ask #anon #wereroomies ask #wereroomies headcanons

[wreckedandpolemic]

pls post the stuff abt their kids omg

lalalala i didn’t tear up at Any point during the writing of this (she lied)

so your eldest, alanis, is matty’s little mini-me. from the minute she’s born, you can tell; she has a full head of dark, thick hair that you know will sprout into his pretty ringlets, his brown eyes blink up at you from her sweet little face, and you can even see his nose scrunched up in her tiny little features. you’ve never felt more in love than with her tiny little body against your chest, tears in matty’s eyes as he holds you both. “oh, my god,” he breathes. “i’m a dad. hello, little one. i love you so much. god, i didn’t know i could love someone this much. she’s so tiny!” he coos, staring down at her adoringly.

“she looks like you,” you murmur, stroking over the bridge of her nose, her little face smaller than your palm.

tears are spilling down matty’s cheeks, his smile brilliant. “you think so?” he chuckles wetly. “god, hope that’s the only thing she gets from me. listen to me, baba,” he says seriously, addressing her like she can understand him, her eyes wide with fascination. “don’t be like me. be like your mum, yeah? ‘cause she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” your heart melts, and despite the lingering pain and slight delirium, you’ve never been happier.

as alanis gets a little older, though, it’s obvious she’s ignoring his warning, matty’s personality as obvious in her as his hair. she’s a little diva (“confident!” matty chimes in.), bossy and a know-it-all (“self-assured and clever! aren’t you, little lani-girl? my clever girl, don’t listen to mummy.”), but underneath she really is the sweetest little thing. matty’s absolutely enamoured with her, spoils her rotten, unable to say no to her big brown eyes. you can’t complain too much, though — you know from experience how difficult those eyes are to refuse <3

she’s nearly three when you tell her you’re pregnant again, slightly worried about her reaction because she’s so used to being your spoilt little baby. but her little face just lights up, toddling towards you on her chubby, unsteady legs and pressing her hands against your belly. “hi, baby!” she says excitedly. “baby soon, mummy?”

you laugh, picking her up and smothering her in kisses as matty tells her, “babies, sweetheart.”

alanis gasps, her eyes going comically wide as she goggles at you. “how many, mummy? four? seven?”

you shake your head, your own eyes widening. “no, baby. just two, promise.”

and, true enough, six months later, you bring vera and fiona home. alanis is obsessed with them, obsessed with being a big sister. she’s gentler with them than you’ve ever seen her, fascinated as they learn to grip onto her fingers. one night, you go to put her to bed and find her in the twins’ room, singing nursery rhymes and lullabies over their cribs. you sprint for matty, tugging him by the arm to show him, tears brimming in both your and his eyes.

“she’s so precious,” matty whispers, your head resting against his shoulder as he wraps an arm around you.

“she’s just like you. aren’t you, baby?” you add when she looks up and sees you both watching her. “you’re dada’s little mini-me, right?”

alanis nods wildly, running as fast as her little legs will carry her into matty’s arms, giggling wildly as he spins her around. “my little girl,” he grins. “not so little anymore, are you? before i know it, you’ll be sixteen and kissing boys. or girls.”

she wrinkles her little nose, the expression so reminiscent of your husband that you can’t stifle your laugh. “kissing for mummy and dada. not for lani. yucky.” she says firmly.

matty nods proudly. “that’s right, sweetheart. yucky. no kissing ‘til you’re twenty-five. no, thirty.”

you scoff. “we were married before i was twenty-five, matthew.”

“god, i don’t know how your dad didn’t fu- flipping kill me. i get it, now,” he says, balancing alanis on his hip. “i need her to stay my little girl forever. okay, lani? gotta be dada’s sweet little baby girl forever,” he tells her seriously as she reaches up to tug on his curls. “you want a bedtime story?” he asks, and she agrees enthusiastically, matty singing to her under his breath as he carries her to her room. you watch them go, in their own little world, your chest swelling with love.

watching their little personalities develop as they grow up is the absolute highlight of your life. alanis gets more like matty every passing day, all unruly curls and biting wit. even when she grows into a moody teenager, the two of them stay heartwarmingly close, matching curly heads bent together, always whispering and giggling. vera starts out life as the easiest of your three girls, calm and easily entertained, rarely crying, and largely stays that way. in your house of dramatists and divas, you sometimes worry that she’s so laid-back that she’ll just disappear. but she has a built-in best friend in boisterous little fiona, always dragging her out from under a pile of books on some adventure or another.

matty’s never so happy as when he’s with his girls. he’ll never think twice about calling off or leaving work early if you need or even just want him to, always at your side. knowing your girls won’t grow up how you did, emotionally walled off in a house that wasn’t a home, warms your heart. your home is soundtracked by laughter, squabbling, the crackle of a vinyl player or the chimes of a piano.

you don’t realise how different their childhoods are to yours until alanis comes home, aged thirteen, and bemoans some embarrassing situation involving the girl she likes, dramatically throwing her head into your lap and her feet into matty’s. you didn’t come out to your parents until you were in college, and you’d never have gone to them with boy problems. so you cuddle your girl close, kiss her curly little head, offer her ice cream and a movie to feel better.

vera pokes her head around the door just as elle is starting to study for the lsats, tucking herself in between you and alanis and letting you squeeze her into your arms. when fiona joins you fifteen minutes later, matty declares you’re having a movie night and bedtime is cancelled, darting off to bring you all popcorn.

three hours later, your girls have fallen asleep in a pile on the sofa between you and your husband, and the pair of you are fighting off the sandman yourselves. you tuck them carefully into bed, their peaceful faces twitching into tiny smiles when you kiss their foreheads gently and creep into your own bed. eyes closing with matty’s arms around you, your last waking thoughts are of the perfect family you’ve built. this, you think, is home. this is love.

#i’m lowkey so nervous to post this #i have actually never wanted to write kidfic before this #i’m so obsessed with them :( #matty pls let me have your kids #matty healy x reader #matty healy #the 1975 fanfic #the 1975 #writing #white and gold #alanis #vera #fiona #blurb

[romione-trope-fest]

Speak Now

Title: Speak Now

Author: adenei

Selected Trope: Weasley Weddings

Summary: In the midst of trying to navigate what life looks like following the defeat of Voldemort, and the loss of so many, there’s one thing glaringly missing. The irony of it all is it takes someone else’s wedding to give Ron the kick in the pants he needs to go after what—or rather *who*—he wants.

Word Count: 1988

Rating: G

TW: mentions of character death (all canon)

“Ron, I need to ask you for a favor.” Ron’s hand stops on the doorknob, the floorboards creaking under his feet. 

The thick piece of wood is the only thing separating him from a much needed afternoon nap. Sleep has been evading him. Nightmares torturing his mind as he tosses and turns on the lumpy old mattress that’s been his for as long as he can remember.

He shoots his brother a withering look, letting go of the handle as he turns to face him. “Right now?” 

It’s been two weeks since the Battle of Hogwarts. Two weeks since Fred died. Two weeks since Harry defeated Voldemort. And two weeks since he and Hermione kissed.

Every waking moment has been filled with funerals or meetings, and helping around the Burrow to ease the load on his mum, who’s completely overwhelmed with grief. And if he’s not doing his part to ensure the household is running smoothly, he’s taking a shift with George, making sure he doesn’t do anything rash or stupid as he navigates a world without his twin.

Because of all that, he’s barely seen Hermione, let alone had a chance to sit down with her. Every time they cross paths at the Burrow, he feels like he’s not making enough of an effort to make her a priority, yet how can he when everything else is just as important right now? She always smiles and nods in understanding when he’s pulled here or there, but sometimes he wishes she’d speak up and be selfish, asking him to come with her for once instead.

“Yes, right now.”

Ron sighs, trying to prevent the eye roll that sneaks out anyway. “Can’t you ask—”

“No. Bill is with George, and this really needs to be addressed by the end of the day.”

“Fine,” he groans, opening the door wide enough to welcome Percy inside his room.

He’s so busy ushering Percy inside that he doesn’t notice that there’s someone else already occupying the space—more specifically, his bed.

“Oh! Hi, um, sorry. I was just waiting for—do you need me to go?” Hermione’s brows knit with worry.

Ron could curse Percy all over again for needing him now—especially if he’s missing another opportunity to talk to Hermione. His brother stares at the girl he longs to be his girlfriend, contemplating her presence until he finally decides.

“No, actually, I’d like you to stay. I think that would be best.”

“Percy, what is going—”

The uptight redhead straightens his tie and clears his throat. “I have an appointment at the courthouse in Devon in thirty minutes, and I need someone to come with me.”

Ron’s not sure why, but he suddenly realizes that Percy’s dressed up—in Muggle garb.

“What did you do?” Hermione’s eyes widen as the question slips out of her mouth.

“I—nothing. I’m—er—getting married.”

“What?” He and Hermione both exclaim in tandem.

“But you’re not even seeing someone! Right?”

“I—I know it seems rash and maybe rushed, but it’s not. I’ve been seeing a—a Muggle for about two years now. Her name is Audrey, and I truly love her. She knows about me and our world. It probably wasn’t the smartest thing, dating her amidst the war, but—now that things are, well, over, I don’t want to waste any more time.”

Ron balks at him. “You’re seriously going to get married without the rest of the family knowing?”

“Er, no. They don’t. And that’s the thing. I do want to tell everyone…eventually, but Audrey and I had talked about eloping before things got really bad. We’ve been living in a Fidelius protected home and I had to be so careful not to get caught. Otherwise, I would have tried to make amends sooner too. But—Merlin forbid something were to happen again, I don’t want to miss my chance.”

Percy rarely gets flustered, but when he does, he is very much like Hermione. His train of thought tends to bounce all over the place and he doesn’t always make sense. Ron shakes his head.

“That still didn’t answer the question.”

“I am going to tell them. When the time is right. And we can have a reception or whatever else Mum wants to plan when she’s ready, but right now, I just need it to be me and her. We don’t want the fanfare.”

“So, why are you asking me to come with you?”

“Because we need a witness. Her best friend was supposed to come, but when I got the paperwork this morning to file the marriage license with the Ministry, we realized the witness needs to be magical for our end of things. Lara is still planning on attending, but…please, Ron?”

Ron stares at his brother, who looks at him with pleading, hopeful eyes before his gaze flits to Hermione. She nods gently.

“Fine. But I don’t have—”

“Oh, Merlin, thank you! Here.” Percy pulls his wand out and Accios something from the other room. It’s another muggle suit. “Hermione, you can come too, but I’m afraid I don’t have anything for you to—”

“I wouldn’t want to impose.”

“No, please, I’d like you there. It would make me feel a little better knowing that some of my family can be there.”

Ron’s heart constricts in his chest. Does Percy really consider Hermione family? Even though they aren’t even together?

“I—I’ll go look in Ginny’s room to see what I can find.” Her cheeks are rosy as she climbs off the bed and slips between them, exiting the room without so much as a backwards glance at either of them.

Percy looks back to Ron. “I’m sorry if I interrupted something.”

“It’s fine. You…didn’t.” 

Not technically, anyway.

“Er, right. Well, I do appreciate this. Truly. Thank you. I promise it won’t be long.” Percy glances down at his watch. “We need to leave in ten minutes. I’ll meet you in the garden and we can Side-Along?”

Ron nods. “Sure.”

As Percy disappears into the hall, shutting the door behind him, Ron has trouble wrapping his head around everything. 

Percy’s getting married. To a girl no other Weasley has ever met before—a muggle. And he and Hermione are the ones being asked to bear witness to it all.

* * *

The ceremony is just as Percy said it would be: brief, quiet, and intimate. For someone who always wanted all the pomp and circumstance of whatever position he held, this is uncharacteristically unassuming and private. And Ron can’t help but feel a little guilty upon seeing how the war—and the estrangement from his family—has changed Percy.

But when the justice of the peace asks them to say their vows, there’s a spark that comes to life in Percy’s eyes when he looks at Audrey, and even though Ron thinks his brother’s rushing things, it’s obvious they share something special. He doesn’t blame Percy for not wanting to wait anymore.

After all, hadn’t he said as much to Hermione in the Room of Requirement? ‘It’s now or never?’ Except it’s turned into ‘it was now, but then we had to wait a few weeks and he’s starting to think it might be never.’

Ron glances at his best friend, whose eyes are glassy with unshed tears as she watches Percy and Audrey share their promises with each other. He’s struck with an overwhelming feeling that he can’t quite place. Relief, maybe? Hope? Maybe it doesn’t matter that he doesn’t have the word to describe it. Until it’s obvious.

Love.

It’s against all odds—the fact that they’re here. They made it. Even when one, or perhaps both, probably shouldn’t have. Ron’s been so caught up mourning the loss of everyone who gave their lives to protect their world that he’s forgotten why they died in the first place. Fred, Tonks, Remus…they wouldn’t want everyone to grieve them so much they can’t get on with their lives. What good would all that fighting have been for? 

Maybe Percy has the right idea, marrying Audrey. Perhaps this is part of his journey of healing and moving forward on his own, and eventually he’ll find a way to fuse his life with Audrey to the one he’s working to repair with his family. Ron wonders if he should follow in his brother’s footsteps, and find his way to happiness again.

As Percy and Audrey are pronounced man and wife, Ron knows exactly what he has to do. He offers a genuine smile as they share their first kiss, signs the documentation as their witness, and congratulates them.

“Thank you for being here,” Percy extends his gratitude again as they walk down the steps exiting the courthouse.

“No problem. Just, er, maybe don’t keep this from the rest of the family for too long. I think they could probably use something happy to latch onto.”

Percy’s mouth forms into a thin line as he nods curtly. “I’ll…try not to.” Then, he turns to his new bride. “We’re going to head back to our flat, unless you need help getting home?”

And there’s Pompous Percy, back to play.

Ron rolls his eyes. “I think we’ll manage.”

Percy and Audrey wander off down the road as Ron eyes the park nearby and nods to it. “Care for a walk?”

“Sure,” Hermione agrees.

They meander side by side, and all of the things Ron wants to say storm through to the front of his mind, but he can’t latch onto a single one long enough to start a conversation. After harboring his feelings for years, how is he supposed to finally tell Hermione how he feels?

Their fingers brush as they walk, and Ron brazenly slides his hand into hers the next time the sway of their arms sync up.

“That was unexpected,” Hermione offers.

“It was.”

“But also really sweet.”

“Yeah.”

Hermione slows her pace and turns toward him, forehead crinkled in concern. “Are you alright?”

“I—yeah—”

“I feel like we’ve barely seen each other, let alone spoken since—”

“I know.” The hand that isn’t still holding hers moves to slip around her waist. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“No, but—I’ve wanted to talk.”

“About what?”

Us. The kiss. The locket. What happened at Malfoy’s. Shell Cottage. Everything that’s ever happened between us since the fucking Yule Ball and what it could possibly mean. All of it.

He supposes any of those could be a good starting point, but that’s not what slips out of his mouth. “I want what they have—Percy and Audrey.”

“Oh?” The singular syllable catches in her throat as she looks at him in surprise.

“With you.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

He’s not sure how, but Hermione manages to move her body closer to his. “Me too,” she breathes. “I’ve been hoping—”

But Ron doesn’t give her a chance to finish. Dropping her hand, he brings it to her face, tilting her chin up as his lips graze hers. It’s much more gentle, tentative even, than their first kiss, and he relishes every second of the leap they’re taking.

“I never thought…” she starts to say when they finally break apart, but the words drift off and she bites her lip instead. 

He knows exactly what she means though, even without saying it. “I know. But here we are.”

“Here we are,” she agrees.

“Reckon we probably shouldn’t jump to marriage right away though,” Ron jokes. It’s the first time he’s genuinely been able to since—well, before they broke into the Ministry.

The crack brings a smile to Hermione’s lips. Merlin, he’s missed making her smile. “No, probably not. But I don’t see a problem with dating.”

“Neither do I.”

“So, it’s settled then.”

“Yeah, I guess it is.” Then, a wide grin spreads across his face and happiness bubbles up from his heart. “I finally get to call you my girlfriend.”

She nuzzles her head into his chest. “I like the sound of that.”

“Me too.” He kisses the top of her head.

For now.

#submission #Weasley weddings #romione #percy/audrey

[kandyzee]

So gonna be ranting about this mf on twitter

Major Ian gallagher defence coming.

OKAH FIRST Ian 100% deserves mickey the same way mickey deserves Ian. When mickey is first introduced he is a homophobic closet case with no support system by the end of the show he is happily married to his fucking high-school sweetheart with his own apartment in a nice area and he has his own business. HE HAS ALL OF THAT BECAUSE OF IAN. Ian became mickeys support system and was always pushing him to become a better person. He shows mickey that he's not 'fucked for life' and he trys his hardest to protect him. Even if the way Ian did it , he got mickey to come out. Mickey needed that push. U think he would have come out if he didn't have someone he loves telling him to?

Now the cheating. The only time Ian cheats on mickey is during his manic episode in s4/5 AND HE GOT HELP AFTER. It's crazy to me that people don't think Ian regrets that and seriously use it as a reason to hate Ian. U better hate fiona and Debbie and Lip too. Yk what better hate mickey too cause he did have a wife and boyfriend (this is a joke don't kill me)

Ian not signing the marriage papers is upsetting but it's not hard to understand why he did it. Ian grew up around frank and Monica , his main representation of marriage is an absolute shit show. He's scared of turning his relationship with the man he loves into that. This is an expected fear from Ian given his worries about being like his mum. He doesn't want to complicate things. And he talks to mickey about this. Ian not signing isn't him being horrible it's his way of trying to protect mickey from himself because he loves mick.

And Ian is always trying to protect mickey, he backs him up in fights, when mickey breaks out of prison he doesn't go to the cops, he breaks up with mickey when he thinks their relationship is hurting him, he tells lip "hit my husband again and I'll fucking kill you". CLEARLY PROTECTIVE.

I don't have ss but mf was also like "Ian laughs at mickey being raped" so talking about that now.

The first time Ian "laughs at him" is in s3 when he tries to talk to mickey right after it happens. I don't think it takes a genius to know that Ian was trying to lighten the mood, not laugh AT mickey. He was also traumatised when Terry catching them happened. He laughs nervously because he has no clue how to navigate a situation like that at such a young age. He's a child making a badly timed, uncomfortable joke because he watched something terrible happen.

The second time Ian does this is with Caleb. During his relationship with caleb, Ian tries to convince himself that mickey was bad for him a few times. Making yourself hate someone is a lot easier than accepting the fact that they are gone. He shouldn't be telling someone he basically just met about that, but in his defence, he's talking about something he probably feels happened to him as well. Ian is affected by all that happened with mickey, and it makes sense that he tells people. In the same way, it would make sense for svetlana to tell people about the day it does for Ian too. All 3 are victims of Terry. Ian also has people telling him how bad mickey is all the time (mainly fiona tbh what if her problem with the milkovichs ) so he's trying to believe that, a easy way to do that is get validation from someone who hasn't been been around mickey. Caleb has never met mick, he has no reason to try defend him. I also don't really think what Ian was saying was making fun of mickey, it's not nice but yk?

This is getting long omg

On him being ugly

UGLY?!?!?

Cameron monaghan is GORGEOUS. He is the definition of cutie pie AND fine as fuck.

When mickey punches Ian because he didn't sign the marriage papers, HE DID NOT HAVE IT COMING. No one deserves to be hit by their partner. I mean, Jesus crist mickey literally broke his leg. His is probably the worst aspect of their relationship by that I mean the violence. A lot of it is playful, but it's not always healthy. Mickey was understandably upset but he shouldn't have hit Ian.

Okayyy now the hall of shame stuff. To me, that shit doesn't count cause Ian and mickey both act kinda out of character. I really don't like Ian saying that, and he shouldn't, but it's hardly a reason for Ian not to deserve mick. 87% is still the majority of his heart, and Ian wasn't saying he doesn't love mickey. Also acting like mickey hasn't said worst things.

"Ur nothing but a warm mouth to me"

"better than going off and having another bipolar episode"

LAST THING. Yes, mickey sacrifices a lot for Ian, like when he goes to prison for him, but not everyone shows love through large reckless actions. You shouldn't expect Ian to give things up to prove he loves mickey. Sacrifice isn't the only way to show affection. U can do it through words or gifts or quality time. Ian shows his love a lot through words, like when he tells mickey, "we have nothing to be ashamed of" early as s2. He makes him feel better when mickey is scared he would be a bad dad.

Ian gallagher haters are DUMB . Some people shouldn't be allowed to watch shameless cause how can u be so small-minded. People who say 1 of them doesn't deserve the other are just aggravating. Gallavich has a lot of ups and downs, and its part of what makes them so appealing. Despite all the bad things they go through, they always love and fight for each other.

Rant over

#shameless us #ian gallagher #defending him with my life #how can u hate him #ian shameless

[erodasfishtacos]

the new one shot is incredible! loved to see them in a different situation that we aren’t used to. I’d like to know how did their parents react when they told them they were expecting knowing they were really young and his professional career just started!

Always Be My Baby

prompt: how harry’s family reacts to the pregnancy announcement

warnings: angst, smut, minors dni 18+

if you liked please reblog, recommended, like, and come talk to me about it! (this is what motivates me to continue writing)!

i write for FREE - I am also trying to steer away from paetron so everyone can have access my stories - so if you would like to support my work, you can donate here.

YN was much more nervous than Harry as they pull up to Anne’s house in their rented car - she was overly excited by their last minute trip up to their little lake house with them.

“Darling, can hear you worrying from here,” Harry chuckles softly as he navigates the unpaved, long twisting driveway back into the heavily forested property.

Since he’d found out she way pregnant, he’d been obsessed with her belly (even more so than before), there wasn’t much to show quite yet - just a little pudge of her lower stomach.

His hand constantly was on it, when they drove, it was one hand on the wheel and the other on her tummy, thumbing at the skin.

“I just- we should have told her we were getting married and now we’re going to drop the bombshell that we’re expecting a baby and we eloped,” YN replies with a quiver in her tone, she loved Anne and Gemma, the last thing she had ever wanted to do was upset them or make them feel excluded.

YN also already knew that Gemma had the tendency to react strongly to news she didn’t like - blunt and unfiltered.

“If they’re angry about it, I’ll take the heat. I’ll always protect you, y’know? You and our bub,” Harry reminds her as he shifts the car into park and leans over the console to give her a firm kiss, “No more worrying, s’not good for our baby, yeah?”

Harry had thrived since the draft, since they moved, and since he found out he was going to be a dad - he was so family-oriented and ready to be the man they needed him to be.

“Harry-“ YN huffs unsettled, feeling a bit like he’s writing her emotions off.

He understands right away, mimicking her pout before murmuring, “Sweetheart, are you happy with the decision we made? Getting married at the courthouse, just you and I?”

YN’s brow furrows in confusion, “Of course, I am. Wouldn’t have wanted to have it any other way than that.”

“Okay, we’ll then at the end of the day, that’s all that matters. We did what is right for us, if they aren’t supportive than that’s on them but I can’t imagine they won’t be. Maybe just a bit surprised,” Harry reasons, his thumb dragging along her bottom lip before he is kissing her once more like he can’t help it.

-

Anne starts to get suspicious almost instantly, call it a motherly instinct but YN seems a bit flighty and Harry is overcompensating by being way too friendly to Gemma.

When Anne suggests they take a swim in the lake before dinner, YN refuses nearly instantly, and says didn’t feel up to it after the travel.

Gemma catches it when Harry’s hand subconsciously gravitates towards YN’s stomach multiple times before he’s quickly moving it to her hip instead.

As Anne lays out the spread of food, hamburgers and hotdogs from the grill, YN is nearly melted into Harry’s side - trying to get as close as possible.

YN is barely pecking at her pasta salad that Anne made just because she loves it so much usually but obviously not right now.

“Is everything okay?” Anne finally ventures, putting her wine glass down and looking seriously between the two.

“Mum,” Harry cuts in, dropping his hamburger back onto his plate, “YN and I have something we would like to tell you.”

“Oh my goodness, did you propose?” Anne smiles widely, she knows that Harry had been discussing it since after their first date.

“Er, I did,” Harry rubs the back of his neck before taking a deep breathe and spitting it out, “I proposed about two months ago.”

YN feels her heart drop into her stomach already when Anne and Gemma’s face drops.

“We got married two weeks ago,” Harry continues, his voice wavering like it normally never done, his hand squeezing YN’s thigh in an attempt to reassure her.

“You…? I’m so confused, Harry,” Anne replies carefully, trying to keep her expression neutral to hide the shock.

“We’re pregnant,” Harry tells them, “We found out about two months ago, right after we came home from Miami. I proposed and we got married two weeks ago at the city courthouse.”

Anne’s eyebrows shoot upwards in surprise, Gemma’s mouth is literally gaped open in blatant shock.

Anne is a good mother though, so she tapers down the hurt from not being included and nearly whispers to YN, “You’re pregnant?”

YN is tearful, nodding as water bubbles in her eyes.

“You’re too young,” Gemma mumbles with a furrowed brow, “What kind of scheme is this? Are you trying to trap him?”

She then tacks on, “S’what it sounds like to me. How on earth would Harry want a baby at twenty-one?”

Harry’s heart shatters for his wife when she bursts out in tears at the accusation.

It was untrue, hurtful, disgusting.

“Gemma, enough,” Anne orders with extreme firmness, disappointment lacing her tone because of whatever her daughter had the nerve to say, “You do not get to just sa-“

Harry’s rage is already at a ten, he’s pushing himself away from the table - unbothered when his drink toppled over and spills down Gemma’s shirt.

“The fuckin’ nerve you have,” Harry laughs in disbelief at his normally supportive sister, “How fuckin’ dare you speak to my wife like that.”

If YN wasn’t so distraught she would have basked in the usage of wife but right now she didn’t feel like she could catch a breath.

“We’re leaving,” He announces in a tight, rumbling voice as he helps YN by pulling her chair out and his full instinct right now is to protect his wife and his baby.

“Harry, we can work this out,” Anne interjects, upset and tearful herself, she didn’t want to watch her children come at each other like this, “You were planning on staying for three days.”

“And I’ll find us a hotel,” He argues before he’s giving his sister one more dirty look, he’s handing YN the car keys and murmurs, “Go to the car, I’ll be out in a mo’.”

YN nods, sheepishly giving everyone a wave before quickly leaving the room - they all are silent until the front door closes.

“Listen, I’ve let you talk to me like that for way too long,” Harry tells his sister seriously, “And it’s not going to happen anymore. I will not allow you to talk to my wife like that.”

Gemma scoffs, picking at her nails like she’s unbothered, “Wife? We get it Harry, you’re married. How much did she have to pressure you to propose? Was it before or after she “accidentally” got pregnant”

Harry could tell her how he got down on one knee as soon as she told him that she was pregnant - how much surprise had crossed YN’s face at it.

“Do you not realize it takes two to make a baby, Gemma?” Harry knows he’s raising his voice, “Explain to me how it’s solely her responsibility that she’s pregnant? Because last time I check, she’s pregnant because of me.”

“Enough!” Anne finally shouts, at her wits end with her two children as she slams her hand on the table to stop the argument.

“If you don’t get your fuckin’ head on right, you’re not going to be involved in my child’s life,” Harry tells her, it wasn’t an empty threat, “Because YN and my baby are my top priority now.”

With that, Harry’s turning on his heel, and storming out the front door - making sure it rattles on its hinges as he leaves.

Harry makes his way out to their rented SUV, opening the passenger side door, and pulling YN into the tightest hug he can muster, “I am so sorry, sweet girl.”

YN is sobbing into his chest, her whole body shaking as she tries to be speak, “I di-didn’t purposefully get preg-pregnant. I would never try to trap you.”

Harry knows that YN is trying to talk through it because being accused of that had never even crossed her mind.

“Listen to me,” Harry says seriously, tilting her chin up and meeting her watery eyes, “I never ever thought that. We both knew you weren’t being consistent with your pills that week. I knew there was a chance and if I would have been concerned, I would have wore a condom and I didn’t. You are not the only one responsible for this pregnancy.”

“I just want to go home,” YN replies quietly, glancing towards the floor with sadness and disappointment interwoven between her words.

“I’ll change the flight to tomorrow, we’ll stay in a hotel tonight, and the go home, okay?” Harry reassures her, wiping the tears from her cheeks, “I love you, more than anything. Please forgive me.”

YN’s eyes meet his once again, confused, “Forgive you? You did nothing wrong and your family was right to question me.”

“No, they were not bloody right to question you,” Harry argues softly, hands moving down to cradle her belly, “They had no business asking us about why you got pregnant. Let’s get you to a hotel, just want to run you a nice bath and hold you.”

“I love you,” YN sniffles, wrapping her arms around his neck, “Best husband ever, you know?”

“Now I’ve really got to get you there, you know every time you call me your husband - I get so fucking hard,” He smirks wolfishly, breaking the tension and making his wife giggle.

-

Harry finds a really nice hotel by the airport, it still is hard to remember that he, well they, have money to stay at places that aren’t just a single room, cheap stay but a top floor with a sitting room, kitchenette, balcony.

He’s easily recognizable and they were more than happy to find him a room despite their sign saying ‘no walk-ins.’

Harry waste no time in dropping their bags and finding the bathroom to begin fill the massive tub with water.

YN trails in, the steam and sweet smell of the vanilla body wash he splashed in to make bubbles, it makes her want to moan with relief from the aches in her body from traveling while pregnant.

“C’mon, show me,” Harry encourages raspily when she trails in but he’s already coming over to help remove her clothes.

He just admires her once she’s bare, looks her up and down, and just groans before his hands and mouth are on her, “Fuckin’ hell, darling. There’s nothing on this earth more beautiful than you all plump and full of my baby.”

“H,” YN whines in return when his lips find her sensitive nipples, they’d gotten so much more since her pregnancy, “Too much,” YN squeaks at one point when he nips with his teeth.

Harry pulls back with a mocking little pout, thumbing over the bud in apology, “S’too much? So sensitive now that you’re carrying my baby, huh?”

“Mm,” She replies noncommittally, her hand coming to push on his shoulder to get him lower and he looks up at her with a cheeky smile.

“What do you want? Can’t give it to you unless you tell me,” Harry teases like a brat, it’s obvious how painfully he’s hard in his tight briefs.

“Harry,” YN responds reproachfully, not in the mood for the teasing as she digs her nails in a bit in warning as she gives him a look.

“Okay, m’sorry,” He coos sweetly, understanding that she’s not in a playful mood as he squats down and murmurs, “Hi bubba, s’your daddy. Being good for your mama in there, hm?”

YN is smiling down at the interaction until her mind flashes back to earlier

“You’re too young.”

“What kind of scheme is this? Are you trying to trap him?”

“S’what it sounds like to me. How on earth would Harry want a baby at twenty-one?”

YN feels her stomach lurch before she’s taking a step back from her husband and turning to the toilet to empty her stomach.

“Whoa, sweetheart,” Harry replies in alarm, moving to hold her hair back and a hand coming to massage her shoulder blades, “Breathe, s’okay.”

YN has tears streaming down her cheeks when she flushes and closes the lid, her chest heaving a bit faster than usual.

“It-it’s not okay. I’m the reason your in a bad place with your family. I-I never want to come between you and them,” YN sniffles, allowing Harry to guide her into now full tub with her and make sure she’s sat carefully.

Harry scootches in behind her, letting her lay back against his chest, and his hands instantly come to rest on her belly.

“The look of your m-mum and sister’s face when we told them. They looked devastated, like I’ve just ruined your whole life,” She adds in, squeezing her eyes shut and trying not to let herself panic too much.

“Please don’t cry, darling,” Harry begs softly, lips kissing across her shoulder blades, “Don’t listen to them. If they’re not happy for us, it doesn’t matter. We are happy. I want you, I want this baby. I want it more than anything. You don’t know how much I want this. I-I never thought I’d have it.”

-

Harry was at a frat party, a group of girls flacked around him and his friends but most of them only had eyes for the star of the show.

They were joking about blowjobs of all things, not Harry but the other guys, and all the girls were batting their lashes.

“I’d have no problem taking Harry upstairs and showing off my skills,” A pretty brunette smiles widely at him, her hand coming to squeeze at his bicep.

The group of boys was hooting and hollering at the offer, nudging him with their elbows, and pushing him into the girl who took that as an opportunity to begin kissing his neck.

Logically, Harry knows that he should want this. He knows that he should want to go upstairs and get his rocks off with a pretty girl but he didn’t, he didn’t have any desire to do that.

He was broken.

And when he gently shoves her off and says, “I’m good. Anyone else need another beer?”

Chase, the first base player, makes a offended noise and chuckles, “Are you gay or somethin’ Styles?”

The group laughs.

Everyone except Harry and Niall.

Niall interrupts by saying, “No everyone is a sleaze like you, Chase. Wasn’t your first kiss your cousin?” Before he’s wrapping his arm around Harrys neck and saying, “I could use another Budweiser.”

Harry doesn’t know why he feels like he wants to cry but he does, he manages to escape the party, and go up to his room.

If he can’t let some cute girl into his bed, how’s he every going to find someone to be with and have a family.

Harry wondered whether baseball was all he was ever going to have.

-

“Don’t you cry too,” YN giggles, bringing Harry back from his flashback, “We can’t both be crying.”

“We can,” Harry chuckles throatily, lips pressing against her neck, “I wished and wished for you and I found you. My soulmate, meant for me, meant to be my wife, and meant to have my babies.”

“You and the bub are the most important thing to me. Just because I’m twenty-one doesn’t mean that I don’t want this. I’ve never been happier, married to you, and I am so in love with our baby we haven’t even met yet.”

YN brings up his hand to kiss his palm then laying it back on her belly, “You’re going to be the best daddy on this earth. I just want your mom and sister to be involved in his life too even if they don’t want to talk to me.”

“If they don’t respect you, they won’t be involved. My mum is just confused but Gemma, I don’t know why she reacted like that. I expected more of her,” Harry murmurs matter-of-fact.

“Babies,” YN repeats from earlier.

“Hmm?” He replies, lost in thought.

“You said I’m meant to have your babies, plural.”

Harry laughs loudly, teeth biting playfully into her skin before his hands are moving up to twist at her nipples, “You’re funny. Don’t act like I won’t want to put more on you after this. Gonna make you a mama, hm? How many kids two, three? As many as you let me give you.”

YN let’s her head drop back against his shoulder when one hand moves down between her thighs, while the other still is pinching and massaging her nipples.

She lets out a satisfied moan when his fingers tuck between her folds and begin to rub at her puffy clit - her legs trying to spread as far as possible in the tub.

“Fuck,” YN whimpers happily, squirming a bit as he gives her relentless pressure in her bud with skill, “Don’t know how you’re so good at making me come.”

Cue his cock twitching at that.

“S’cause I was made to please your perfect body, your pretty nipples, this belly, your cunt makes my mouth-water,” Harry nearly growls with how low his tone gets as her legs start to quiver with the oncoming pleasure.

“H,” YN gasps when it barrels through her body, thighs trying to squeeze shut, trapping his hand but his other holds them open, “It-it’s good.”

When she finally comes down, Harry is cocky as he always is, “You look so gorgeous when your coming because of me. Fuckin’ hell.”

YN manages to reach her arm around, fingers wrapping around his length, and it only embarrassingly takes a few pumps for Harry to find his own end.

“Shut up,” He whines when she snickers at him, pinching her nipple once more meanly, “Can’t help it, sweetheart. Now, let’s get you to bed.”

-

It’s pretty early in the morning when there’s a knock of the hotel room door, the two were already awake and cuddling in bed still - Harry had went down to where they serve breakfast to get her a glass of apple juice and had gotten bombarded with fans.

“Did you order room service?” YN asks curiously as the knock echos through their room.

“No, I hope it’s not some fan who thought it’d be a good idea to come up here,” Harry replies tersely, tugging back on his pair of shorts before swinging up the door.

It was Gemma and Anne.

Harry just gives them a look, biting the side of his mouth before very calmly saying, “If you’re here to stir up more drama, no thank you. You already gave my wife enough stress last night and I won’t tolerate anymore.”

Gemma’s a bit ready as she shakes her head, “I’m not. I came to apologize. I drank way too much last night and that’s not an excuse, I’m sorry.”

Harry begrudgingly let’s them in, “I’ll go get YN.”

He steps back into their bedroom, she’s still sipping on her apple juice in just a loose, lace nightie that accentuates the curve of her breasts.

“It’s my mum and Gemma,” Harry tells her softly, bending over to snatch up a shirt and leggings for her to pull on, “Gemma wants to apologize. It’s up to you whether you want to see her or not. I’m not pressuring you either way.”

“No, it’s okay,” YN replies a bit nervously, letting Harry help her change into appropriate clothes before she’s throwing her hair up in a bun and stepping into the living area.

Anne and Gemma both have gift bags in their hands, setting them on the table, and there’s a moment of awkward silence.

“I am so sorry for the way I acted,” Gemma blurts out with tears already forming in her eyes, “It was uncalled for and out of line.”

YN stands their quietly for a moment before nodding, “I accept your apology. However, I can inform you both that even though the baby was not planned, we are very much both excited to be parents.”

Anne steps forward and wraps YN in a hug, warm and soft, and murmuring, “I can’t believe I’m going to have a grandbaby.”

Gemma could clearly hear in YN’s tone that she was not fully forgiven, she tried again, “I-It had nothing to do with you, you know? It’s just that my brother just signed a multi-million dollar contract, just graduated college, and has his whole life ahead oh him. A baby…well that’s roadbump.”

YN grits her teeth, shifting into mama bear mode as she cradles her stomach protectively, “My baby is not a roadbump in our life. How dare you say that to us.”

Harry has rage boiling inside his stomach, watching his wife get riled up, and he tells Gemma, “You don’t control my life. I knew YN wasn’t taking her birth control consistently and I still decided to not use a condom. Happy you know the details now?”

YN is quiet but firm when she says, “I’d like some alone time now. Goodbye Anne,” before she’s turning on her heel back to their bedroom.

“Gemma,” Harry bites out in anger, “I think it’s best if we kept our distance for awhile. I can’t have you continuously upsetting my wife. If you’re not going to support us then you need to back the fuck off.”

“So you choose your wife over me?” Gemma scoffs in disbelief as Anne just lets her children figure it out themselves - her mouth in a tight line of disapproval and irritation.

“Yes. It’s my duty to protect her and our baby. It’s my job. Mum, I’m sorry but we need to catch up another day,” Harry gives her a kiss on the cheek before glaring at his sister, “Don’t let the door hit you on the way out.”

When Harry is making his way back to the bedroom, he’s disappointed himself, and he feels like he’s about to cry but he has to stay strong for YN.

She’s not crying like he had expected though, she had flipped on the television and shimmied out of her leggings to resume her comfortable position on the bed - a hand rubbing her belly.

Harry crawls back on the bed too, instantly pushing her shirt up under her breasts and smattering soft kisses all over her somewhat taut skin.

YN is alarmed when she feels teardrops on her stomach, moving to tilt Harry’s head up, and frowning when she sees his face.

“Oh honey,” She titters as she wipes his cheeks with her thumbs, “Don’t cry, my love.”

“I just wanted them to be happy for us. I mean my mum was but Gemma just fuckin’ ruined the announcement for us twice!” Harry huffs out loudly, knuckling at his eye, “Just was looking forward to having that special moment with my mum. She’s so fucking selfish.”

“H, we can deal with it another day. It’s not the time to try to solve the issue when we’re upset,” YN reminds him pulling him up until he’s carefully resting his weight on her, “Right now, it’s just us. And that’s all that matters.”

“It really fucking is all that matters.”

-

YN can’t stand to see Harry heartbroken, he lays down for a nap after their breakfast, and he’s seems low - in a stupor as he shuffles under the blankets.

She calls up Anne, just Anne, and asks her to come back over because she has a plan to make this all better (or try to mend the situation a bit).

YN orders lunch, sets it up nicely in the living room, and welcomes Anne in - she’s gonna wake him up but he must hear the commotion and comes sauntering out in his low-slung shorts.

“Wha’s going on?” Harry mumbles with a frown, he glances around and notices that Gemma isn’t accompanying them.

“Come eat,” YN pats the couch next to her.

After they’re finished filling their plates, YN starts by saying, “Anne, we have an announcement to make.”

Anne’s eyes go wide in faux surprise but she is smiling softly, putting down her fork and knife, and looking at both of them intently.

“H, do you want to tell her?” YN nudges him as he glances between the two of them in confusion, YN nods toward her stomach, and Harry catches on.

God, he loves his wife.

“Mum,” Harry shutters a bit, pushing his plate back, “YN and I are pregnant. The baby is due in January and we-we couldn’t be happier.”

Anne stands up, rounding the table and pulls Harry in to a hug, cradling his head, and stroking his hair, whispering, “I am so happy for you two, my sweet boy. I know you’re going to be the most amazing father.”

Harry is sniffling, seeming like a little boy in his mum’s arms as he asks, “You’re happy for us?”

Anne chuckles, pinching his cheek, “Don’t be silly. Of course, I am. You two are adults. You have a funds and ability to care for the baby. I couldn’t be more thrilled for both of you. But you, H, will always be my baby.”

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[yellowkitkieran]

To Have and To Heal (Part 2)

Masterlist

Read part 1 here

Word Count: 3.2k

Summary: Single working dad Martin Odegaard is navigating the ups and downs of parenthood all on his own, and he’s struggling. That’s not to mention football, life and... love?

You know what, maybe lads nights aren't as bad as Martin remembers them being. He's only had one pint but Kieran has had three and is already leaning on Martin like he can't stand up straight. All the lads are roaring with laughter, Aaron nearly shedding tears at whatever story Xhaka is telling; something embarrassing if his rosy cheeks aren't from the alcohol. 

As captain, Martin takes his job of creating unity seriously. Being a team doesn't stop when they leave the stadium, it trickles over into their everyday lives as well. Nights like this help cement the bonds they forge on the pitch, ensuring that they understand each other on a fundamental level that ultimately results in a better product. 

To be fair, Martin didn't come up with his whole 'friends off the pitch, brothers on it' culture on his own. Credit for the idea comes from his national coach when he was only fifteen. Upon joining the Norwegian first team, Martin was positive he wouldn't fit in. His gaffer, however, made certain that Martin was never left out of an off pitch gathering, regardless of location or the local drinking age. He was responsible of course, but he understood how important it was to ensure Martin wasn't alienated solely because of his age. 

It's thanks to that mindset that Martin has become captain so quickly- he knows how to create a team that wants to fight for each other, because they all want to see each other succeed as individuals, not just on a team level. 

Martin winces when an arm lands heavily over his shoulders. Kieran's face is inches from him when he half yells, "oooohhhh look at that bonnie lass that just walked in! Look at her- I might have to chat to her!"

"Right, you don't need to yell mate I'm right here!" Martin shakes his head but follows Kieran's stare. Normally he wouldn't think twice about who Kieran finds attractive, but he finds himself doing a double take tonight. "That's Miss. Sunshine."

"Miss who?" 

"She teaches at Attie's school. I've never seen her outside of work…" Martin trails off, giving into the masculine urge to drink you in. He's used to seeing you dressed for teaching, in denim and cashmere. Tonight you've opted for something that's certainly not school appropriate. 

Your form fitting deep purple dress hugs each of your considerable curves on its way to your mid thighs where it ends and leaves little to the imagination. Your legs seem to go on for miles and Martin has no doubt you would tower over him in the black heels you're wearing. He can’t get enough of the way you move mindlessly to the beat of the music, hips swaying with your arms above your head like you don’t have a care in the world. You move with a confident grace that he's almost ashamed to say he finds attractive. 

A face flashes in his mind, one that looks like a grown up Atla. Martin frowns, immediately looking down into his empty pint glass at the exact moment you look up and notice him. He shouldn't be thinking any woman is attractive. He swore his life to his wife, to love her forever and… and she's gone. Would she want Martin to be happy? Would she really be okay if he moved on? It's a gray area, one that Martin doesn't care to venture too far into. He'll remain devoted to Atla's mum, even if she's no longer around. 

Kieran sloshes another full pint in front of Martin, and for once he's thankful. He greedily slams half the drink in an attempt to dull the ache beginning deep in his chest. He hates when this happens. He can't control where his mind takes him, not when he's sober and definitely not when he's buzzed. They're not hallucinations, he's asked his doctor for fear of that… they're more just extremely vivid recollections of important moments during his relationship. 

Memories wash over him, unbidden and so, so real that he can almost feel the blades of grass beneath his fingers. His eyes slide shut as his surroundings fade, the club music in his ears morphing into the roar of the mighty ocean beating at the cliffs a few meters away. A deep breath fills his lungs with salt and wildflowers, two scents he associates heavily with the Norwegian coast. And she's there, sitting cross legged on a black and white checked blanket, patiently waiting for him- his Maria.

"Mar?" Martin murmurs, his voice far away. She's as beautiful as she was the day they met. Tears prick Martin's eyes. "I miss you so much. I love you-" it hits Martin then, how impossible this all is. "Can't I just stay here?"

Her blonde hair falls over her shoulder as she shakes her head. Her smile is lonely, and Martin wants nothing more than to fix whatever ails her. "Nei elskling. You can't live in your head forever. You're doing so well with our daughter, our beautiful little Atla… She needs you. I know you miss me but I want-"

"Mate? Mate! Earth to Martin!" His fantasy is violently ripped away, interrupted as Kieran shakes his shoulders. "Yooooo hooooooo! That lass keeps looking over at you. You need to make a move before I do!"

Martin shakes his head. "No, I don't. I can't, Kieran." Martin feels sick, like he’s betrayed Maria by thinking you were attractive for a heartbeat. It doesn’t matter how long his wife has been gone, he wouldn’t dream of tarnishing her memory by being with another woman. 

"And why nae?" 

"You know why."

Kieran sighs, falling back dramatically on his own stool with a huff. "It's been two years mate, you're allowed to move on! Have you even gotten laid since Ma-"

Martin pins Kieran with an icy stare that glues his lips shut immediately. Under normal circumstances, Kieran knows better than to speak about Maria. Apparently alcohol has loosened his views of right and wrong enough that the line has blurred. "That's none of your business Kieran. I'm doing just fine. I'm focusing on my daughter. That's what matters to me."

Kieran holds up his hands in surrender. At least he keeps a grip on his common sense when he's drunk. “Right then, I’ll leave you to find peace at the bottom of your glass. But Martin-” Kieran lays his hand on Martin’s shoulder for a second time, gentler now. “She would want to see you smile, mate.”

“I smile enough, Kieran. Thanks.”

Martin glances up at you again, more surprised to see you outside of a professional environment than anything. He watches as you laugh and lean into your friends, enjoying the simple pleasure of good company and free-flowing alcohol. 

Martin doesn't know why he does it, but he orders a round for your table. Maybe it’s because of what Kieran told him or because he just wants to see someone else happy, he isn’t sure. But once he’s paid he can’t take it back and besides, you deserve it for all you do for his daughter.

Your eyes light up in surprise when a server presents you a tray of shots. Though Martin can't hear you, he can understand the gist of what you're saying as you try to explain that you didn't order any of it. Eventually the server points over his shoulder and your eyes once again land on Martin, a rueful smile curling your lips. 

You raise a glass and Martin mirrors the gesture, both of you knowing back your drinks in unison. As soon as his is empty, you begin making your way towards him. Martin squeezes his eyes shut, shaking his head. No, he can’t do this. What a stupid fucking idea, thinking he could just order you a round and not have to interact with you- he needs to leave. 

Though Kieran covered his tab, Martin shoves a tip in the jar behind the bar and grabs his jacket off his chair. Kieran turns to check on Martin, his smile immediately falling. "Dinnae tell me you're already leaving! Mate we've just gotten started!" 

"I'm going home," Martin says plainly, willing his heart to stop racing. "I don't want to be here right now. You're my vice captain, so make sure everyone gets home safe."

God, he needs to calm down. Martin catches your eye as he gets up. You wave him over but he shakes his head; he isn't strong enough to be around anyone right now, let alone you. All he wants is to go home, kiss Attie goodnight, and curl up in bed until the morning sun rises. 

What Martin doesn't see as he heads out the door, is the way your shoulders fall. You're not sure what you expected when he sent you a round, but it certainly wasn't him ghosting you. You thought you were making progress with him. Martin intrigues you and you want to know what makes him tick. Seeing him out tonight had only felt like a good omen, but now your hopes have been dashed. 

Wednesday, you think to yourself. I'll talk to him Wednesday. 

**********

If you're certain of one thing, it's that most English children love football. You may be visiting the Emirates stadium today, but that hasn't stopped your fifteen students from wearing whatever football kits they own, from Chelsea to Manchester United and other teams you've not even heard of. The sea of color is actually quite helpful, making it easy to count and keep track of your students as you arrive at the grounds. 

"Right everyone, remember we need to be very respectful today. Arsenal are being very generous in letting us come in and explore their stadium a bit, and this is something not many people get to do! So we need to be on our best behavior and make sure we're using our manners as much as possible." You leaf through your bag, grabbing the bundle of papers you printed the night before. "Everyone take one of these and pass it along, it's a scavenger hunt for you all to complete. There's a bunch of items that you'll need to count, and I want you to use whatever method you prefer to keep track of how many of each thing you see, okay? Any questions?"

You give the kids a moment to read over the worksheet you spent a few hours creating. You're having them look for things like the number of players they see, how many right angles they can find on the pitch, and so on. You aren't a hundred percent sure what Martin's plan is for the day, but you know he's essentially your tour guide for the afternoon.

Each class has a different plan for the first few hours. Your morning will be spent in one of the conference rooms, watching a few videos and listening to some of the managers and coaching staff talk about how they use math and other skills in their daily lives to create strategies for matches. 

You try your best to listen to what each presenter is saying whilst also ensuring your kids are paying attention and not chatting themselves. But as per usual your kids are rock stars, asking questions here and there and for the most part being perfectly respectful. You knew you'd gotten lucky with your students this year, but this solidifies just how lucky you are. 

In between presenters, you find your eyes wandering to the door. For some reason, each time it opens you half expect Martin to walk through. And each time you shake your head at yourself; if he was popping into any class early, it would be Atla's. There's no reason for him to visit your class specifically. And you really need to stop thinking about him before this becomes a problem.

After a few more quick presentations and a quick lunch full of chattering, excited kids, you find yourself watching the clock. Any minute now an escort should arrive to lead you to wherever it is that you're meeting Martin for the full stadium tour. You might be as excited as the children; your leg bounces and your heart races as the seconds tick by. 

"Miss Sunshine, how much longer?" 

You turn to smile at your student, Marcus, "not too much longer. You have your worksheet right? Why don't you…" glancing around the room, you do a quick scan to try and invent a task to keep him busy. "Why don't you write down how many chairs there are in this room, and then multiply that by the number of tables?" 

Marcus nods, dutifully standing up to get his quick count. Not even a minute later the door opens and none other than Martin himself sticks his head in. 

Wow, okay he's gorgeous. 

Martin's golden hair sticks up on his right side, like he's run his hand through it a million times. His baby pink training top hugs his arms as he waves you over, flashing you his bright grin as he does so. 

"About ready to go?" Martin asks. "I'm rounding everyone up to get a move on for the tour."

"I wasn't expecting you to be our escort." You fight to keep your voice light, though you can feel your cheeks burning. You haven't forgotten about the drinks he sent your way a few days ago. Actually, you've barely stopped thinking about him since that night out, which is becoming something of a problem.

Get a hold of yourself, you think. Calm down and stop smiling like a creep before you make him think you like him or something. 

Martin's smile grows. Your class realizes someone has arrived when Martin clears his throat and opens the door fully, nearly causing a full blown riot. A few kids recognize him and begin clamoring over each other to shout questions at him. You silence them all with a single look and motion for Martin to introduce himself. 

"Hey, I'm Martin Ødegaard and I'm Arsenal's captain, as I'm guessing some of you already know!" A rumble moves through the children, confirming his statement. "I'm here to take you all on a little tour around the Emirates, and as I understand it Miss Sunshine has given you all an assignment that needs to be completed?" When you nod, so does Martin. "Good! If you need to ask me any questions to finish those up, feel free to ask as we're going along. At the end, when we're in the changing rooms, you can ask whatever questions you want to, football related or otherwise. Are we ready to go?"

The whole room cheers and you find yourself smiling so wide that your cheeks hurt. Martin seems as much in his element here in front of a room full of kids as he does on the pitch with a ball at his feet. Something about his ability to adapt to different situations and personalities is… attractive. 

You let Martin lead the way. You take up the rear, prodding any stragglers on their way when they pause to gawk at a trophy case or a smattering of photos hung on the wall. Martin engages your students, telling them stories with his words as well as his hands while you walk.

Once you're all in the changing room with the other classes, you finally find your chance to speak to Martin. You subtly weave your way over to him, smiling when you catch his eye. 

"Hey." You mentally smack yourself. Hey?! What are you, twelve? That's the best you can come up with?

"Hey," Martin replies, clearly amused. "I'd say your class is the best behaved out of all of them, Attie's included. You put the fear in them before you came here today or something?"

Your stomach somersaults at the compliment. You look down and smile, catching yourself before a blush can creep over your cheeks. "Yeah, something like that." You pause, words on the tip of your tongue. Maybe you shouldn't bring up that night in the club. It's unprofessional isn't it? He probably doesn't remember it anyway, and if he does, well… do you want to risk embarrassing him?

"You know, I like to think of us as friends." Martin nudges his foot to yours, dragging you out of your head. "You've got that look that women get when they aren't sure if they should say something. And I can guess what it is- you're welcome for those drinks."

And now you look like an idiot. "Erm- wow are you a mind reader? Because you took the words right out of my mouth! Thank you, yeah, you didn't need to do that. I wish you would've stuck around so I could've properly thanked you!"

Martin immediately breaks eye contact and frowns at his boots. He gently hits the heel of one on the toe of the other in a nervous sort of gesture. It's endearing and a touch childish, and you find yourself smiling. “That really isn’t necessary.”

Realizing what he thinks you meant, your eyes go wide. “Oh my god- I didn’t mean- Martin I only meant I didn’t get to verbally thank you for them! You sort of ran off when I was on my way over to tell you. That’s all I meant, I swear.”

"Shit- ahh right yeah of course! Of course that's what you meant, that's obvious… right okay I need to be going so I can lead the way. Enjoy the tour!"

"Oh of course! You as well!" You add the last bit as a reflex and cringe internally as soon as it leaves your mouth. Someone needs to put you out of your awkward misery. 

You can't think of a single time that you've struggled like this around a parent. It isn't like you exist in a bubble; you've bumped into parents at supermarkets and on nights out in the past and haven't felt this odd about it. Something about Martin buying you drinks was different though. There was a look in his eyes that night, almost like he was struggling to keep himself pieced together. You know that look because you've been there. 

Something, or maybe someone, broke Martin. It wasn't a clean break either. One doesn't become so haunted by a simple breakup. Whatever it was cut him so deep that he's scarred for life. 

Maybe it's the nurturer in you, but you'd wanted nothing more than to help him that night. You still do if you're being honest, even if he does seem like he's himself again today. Martin must have some sort of dark side, something he's hiding from the rest of the world. And for whatever reason… you're determined to find out what it is.

#martin odegaard #martin odegaard fic #martin odegaard fanfic #martin odegaard imagine #martin odegaard fantasy #arsenal fc #kieran tierney #arsenal #footballer fic #footballer fanfiction #footballer fluff #footballer imagine #jac writes #alt timeline lover #forbidden fruit

[miss0atae]

Random Thoughts about Only Boo! episode 1:

This series is very cute, very fluffy and a pure rom-com. It's just perfect to replace Cooking Crush on Sunday. It was totally an unexpected series but this first episode is a nice opening.

▪️ We have cheeky Moo, who wants to be an idol, but is transferred in another school by his mom because she fears he doesn't take seriously enough his studies. I believe Mom is not wrong to insist he finished high school and have a back up plan. I guess, It's because I'm old now, but I do understand why at Moo's age is quite difficult to see it her way. Pursuing a dream is never a bad thing anyway. It gives your life significance.

▪️ Moo is truly a nice kid. He doesn't even trow a tantrum when his mum basically force him to abandon city life to live in a small countryside town far away from everything except school (my own nightmare. I dream of living in a city where everything is reachable by foot. I hate driving). He never lets himself get discouraged. As for me, I would have stop going to the store if I forgot needed items and would have waited until next day. I admire his persistence. I also believe his mom should have made sure he had at least some essentials before leaving him by himself in his new room.

▪️ The other main character is Kang. I believe he must be at least one year older than Moo. He already finished school and he is working at his mom's restaurant and helping people while also being an artist who didn't pursue entering art school for family reasons. Despite being very helpful, he doesn't consider this as kindness. I hope we'll learn why because I think he is very a kind-hearted man. He doesn't show any annoyance at helping others even if he doesn't really know them (he helped Moo several times and even though he said he would charge him money later, it sounds more like a joke than anything).

▪️ We got a very short introduction for other characters such as Potae and Payos, who are in the same high school as Moo. They share his interest in dance but they started on the wrong foot so it will probably takes time for them to be friendly. We also discover Neth who is Kang's friend (at least for now). However, the episode mostly centered around Kang and Moo first encounter, so all these other characters remain background characters yet.

▪️ Let me tell you, I understand why Moo will be falling for Kang because these kind of small attentions he made for him without asking anything is return are just so sweet. This episode may have its share of rom-com clichés (accidental kiss for example) but I don't mind them. I still found this episode enjoyable. I ask for nothing more. Let's see how these two end up together and achieve their dream at the same time.

#my thoughts #random thoughts #thai series #thai bl #bl drama #bl series #only boo the series #episode 1 #gmmtv #gmmtv series #Moo is a really fun character #He cracks me up when he asked money after the motivational speech he got when he was in school #I guess Moo and the other students either will become friends who pursue the same dream or rivals

[insidemymind19]

I understand if you say no to this as your a new writer but telling matty your pregnant and have really bad symptoms so you take a test

I’m totally up for this pregnancy trope is literally my favourite so thank you for the request ❤️

Tw mentions of nausea sickness and pregnancy

Waking up in a dazed sweat for the third day in a row is not how you expect your week to go rolling over with a groan to try settle your churning stomach you reach for your phone seeing a message from matty

‘morning my angel hope you’re feeling a bit better this morning if not PHONE THE DOCTOR!!! Sorry I had to leave George needed me in the studio something he needed help with. I’ll be home as soon as I can but call if you need me!! Love you baby get plenty of rest❤️’ you giggle at his sternness and start to type a reply when suddenly you’re overwhelmed with nausea running to the toilet and throwing up all of last nights food. Exhausted lifting your aching body you open the bathroom cabinet in search of something to relive your sickness when your eyes land on a tampon box. An unopened tampon box instantly overtaken with worry you grab your phone check your period tracking app and to your shock you see it in bold with your own eyes 6 weeks since your last period. In a whole state of panic you call Charli explaining the situation as best you can in your state of worry. She talks you down from your panicked state and tells you to take a test. the test you were gifted as a joke from a friend shoved in the back of a drawer thinking it won’t be needed soon, So you do. You’ve never been so nervous as you were in those 5 minutes. Lifting the test with shaking hands you see it pregnant and before you can think you’re in tears again, but this time happy tears placing your shaking hands on your still flat stomach feeling an indescribable love.

Hours later hours of you sitting in your bedroom thinking of your future you matty and your baby here in this spot in a matter of months, pulled out of your daydream by the sounds of matty pouncing up the stairs and through your shared bedroom door “are you ok baby” he quickly says surveying you for any signs your sickness is still there. Slowly rising from your spot muttering a soft “yeah I’m ok, more than ok” as you make your way to your bathroom, Matty following behind in a confused state you lift the test and hand it over to him. He looks confused for a few seconds before breaking Into the biggest smile asking “wait seriously you’re pregnant” you hear the joy in his voice calming your nerves, you nod timidly as he suddenly gives you the biggest hug placing a fiery kiss on your lips. You can feel his smile. His hands moving to your stomach before he states “you have no idea how happy I am baby IM going to be a dad YOUR going to be a mum” in disbelief before placing a soft kiss on your stomach

Thank you for reading ❤️

#matty healy x reader #dad!matty #matty healy #the 1975 #the 1975 x reader

[ewyband]

explaining HRT to my parents and acceptance

hello everypony, if you don't know, im non binary. im gonna be really vulnerable here for a hot sec but i just wanted to share my experience because its something ive found very difficult to write about in musical form.

gender has always been super confusing for me and whilst there were signs of me being trans when i was younger, its only something thats become apparent in the last three years. i wont bore anyone explaining my experience of where i stand with my gender but i wanted to share my experiences with HRT and the process of telling my parents about it.

i started seriously considering HRT around around a year ago and decided to take the plunge around two months ago because every time i looked in the mirror, i noticed more chest hairs, thicker body hair, broader shoulders and a squarer jawline -- this all makes me extremely dysphoric and i hated it. the conclusion i came to was, this was all going to continue to intensify throughout me aging and so the main question was: do i want to age on testosterone or estrogen? once i started estrogen i felt so much better about myself, almost instantly (as in, within the first few days). my mood has drastically increased and i have 'breakdowns' way less now which is great!! one thing i was scared about was chest growth and the day before i started estrogen, i was very tired from a long day and had a breakdown because i was quite literally mourning my freedom. i never really have been more confident shirtless or anything but i mourned swimming in the sea, in lakes, in rivers and in tarns on the mountain tops -- the sense of freedom you feel when you're fresh out of an ice cold tarn on a mountain is indescribable. however, now i have responsibilities, i have a career i have to make work, i have people i need to please and for some reason i felt not being able to be shirtless was another freedom i could potentially have snatched away from me. when i told my mum about me starting HRT she said 'well, i'm sure you've made an informed decision so i'll just tell you the same thing i've said about weed: just be careful okay' which was a genuinely pleasant surprise when my dad found out, my mum called me saying 'just in case you get a call from your dad, he's really worried and he's been losing sleep over it. if he calls you, please dont argue with him, just agree with him for now for our sake' my dad did end up calling me and i explained everything and any worries that he had. he had a lot of questions but i managed to answer everything without getting too upset. towards the end of our call i thought he said 'i just needed you to understand' to which i replied 'yeah i understand, its okay to be anxious, because i definitely was' and he replied 'no, i said "i just needed to understand"' im really grateful for my parents being so accepting and its genuinely strengthened our relationship. even though they're pretty hit and miss with calling me my correct pronouns, they still love me and havent disowned me and im really grateful for that.

anyways, thanks for coming to my ted talk

#trans #nonbinary

[toomuchracket]

boy dad matty on like international women’s day or mother’s day or wifeys bday or something taking baby boy out to buy gifts and to “teach you how to treat the women in your life right” and i think it’s even cuter if baby boy is literally an infant and therefore not understanding anything and mattys stood in the store picking out flowers lecturing this clueless baby sat in a pushcart on loving and appreciating and respecting women and how he would be nowhere and nothing without mommy and nana and now i’m rambling but you get it

international women's day!! a few days before, while you're at work and your eldest is at nursery, matty takes his boy (toddling, i'd say) out on a little shopping spree to buy you both (and denise/your mum) a gift. and he's like "it's so important that we treat our girls - and all girls, actually - right, because we have privileges in life that aren't always afforded to them and we need to recognise that and do our best to rectify it, yeah, mate? like think of where you and i would be without mummy or nana. absolutely nowhere!", and baba is too little to really grasp it but he nods seriously anyway to mimic his dad lol. he placidly helps matty pick flowers for the two of them - matty (still in the midst of an "all women are queens" monologue) lifts him so he can see, and then carries baba while baba carries the bouquets lol - but the place he gets most excited is picking out a present for his big sister. and not just because they're in the toy section, although that's definitely a factor; the two of them are so so close, and she's his favourite person in the world (and him hers). like, your son's first word was a slightly garbled version of your daughter's name - she just spent so much time with him that it was inevitable lol, and she still does, reading him stories and playing games with him and protecting him from anything that might hurt or upset him (she yells back at you or matty if you ever give her baby brother a telling-off). true, they have their Moments of dispute, but generally wherever your daughter runs your son will be toddling along after her eagerly. matty of course addresses this, like "yeah, mate, i think she'll love this! not quite as much as she loves you, but i think that's impossible. think you'll learn the most from your sister over the years, to be honest, but you can't be too reliant on her - you need to be self-sufficient sometimes, my boy, and you need to support her the way she supports you. sound alright?"; your son is like "mhmm", and matty kisses his little head like "good lad. now, we'd better go and get our girls". all v v cute <3

#mads answers asks #matty asks #fluff asks #literal d word

[grungeeuvu]

I love Goshiki so much and you all get to hear me briefly explaining his character:

Goshiki is the only first-year on the starting lineup of a powerhouse school that is absolutely formidable. Imagine the pressure, being selected out of the other hundred students: not just the other first years but also the second and third years. There aren't even any other first years on the bench, he is the only first year on the court entirely. Seriously, imagine the stress he is under to perform as calmly, perfectly and logically as all his cold and unreasonable upperclassmen, who've all been to nationals many times. Not only that, he is regularly told he will be the next ace once Ushijima, one of the top three in the whole country, graduates.

Everyone expects him to live up to being the ace of a legendary team, succeeding the local "miracle boy" himself. He probably doesn't have a lot of his friends in his classes due to volleyball commitments and probably is shunned by other first years on the club out of jealousy. The only company he'd really have are his other teammates, whom he is trying so hard to impress. He doesn't want to let them down, he wants to do them proud and be worth all the effort they put into him.

He is a bit loud, brazen, tries to talk big but you can see how much he looks for his upperclassmen's approval. He's making promises, he's trying to show the team that he's not cracking under the pressure, that he can brush it off too. He's challenging ushijima to prove he's fearless, to prove he's not daunted by the task everyone is expecting him to accept.

Some might read that and think I'm saying he's crumbling on the inside, that this pressure is breaking him into nothing but I wouldn't say crumbling. Hell, I don't think Goshiki could ever actually crumble. I think part of him believes this sense of confidence. I would say, though, that there is a voice in the back of his head that tells him he's not enough. Everytime he messes up, it sits in the back of his mind, every point missed he feels it. He knows he's giving his all but he wants to give more.

I love Goshiki Tsutomu and he is so often treated like a pet peeve of arrogance or Shiratorizawa's "baby" but think of it like this: Ushijima hates baseless confidence. He hates when someone's bark is louder than their bite, we see how he views Hinata for a start. Do you think he'd ever encourage Goshiki so honestly if he didn't have the potential to enhance Shiratorizawa?

Do you think Washijou would've even glanced at him if he wasn't something? Do you think Shirabu would set to someone who wouldn't score? Do you think anyone in the team would let him mess up and geek out if they didn't believe, deep down, he was as good as them?

When my mum watched Haikyuu with me, she said she found Goshiki arrogant, annoying and immature: it infuriated me and I could never quite articulate how she has misread him so much. Maybe on the surface he seems that way but it's because it is all on the surface. He is constantly trying to seem cool, for the validation and respect of his senpais, who do not seem to understand that the praise is really what he needs.

When Hinata compliments him, Goshiki shone and he performed with flying colours. The praise was all it took for him to change his mind on a dime and play with them and, not to mention, he was the designated leader of that training camp for sure!

He was the one everyone had their eyes on and he was the most advanced - you could tell that these players respected him and I hope he knew it, I hope it gave him the confidence boost he'd been lacking for so long ever since joining Shiratorizawa.

It got slightly off track at the end but I hope you followed :') I love my boy lol

#haikyuu!! #shiratorizawa #goshiki tsutomu #hq goshiki #character development #character analysis #he is one of my favourite characters of all time tbh does it show?

[ashes-writing-corner]

Hey guys! I am so sorry for the super long delayed update to this. I've been super busy, I've been sick, and I've had an injury I'm recovering from. I'm doing better, I just messed up my tailbone a while back. And i've also been super dedicated to getting my book done. But you're not here for that! You're here for the Ghosts that We Knew! Let's gooooo!

Taglist: @stargatenovus @poisonedsultana and @cedar-bees

Tw: none really, maybe a mention of Necrophilia, hinted Spectrophilia but it doesn't go into details. So yeah...

Ghosts That We Knew

Part 14. Spectrophilia

“Are you and mama mad at each other?” Ellie asked one afternoon as she put aside the doll she was playing with.

Ghost was watching her from a corner in the room, as he always did when the girl was home and playing by herself. She had seemed somewhat somber these days, since you had figured out who he was and what he did. Ellie had felt the tension. She was doing everything her little mind could come up with to try and make them happy again, and it seemed to work to a degree. But there was still a sort of intensity whenever you and Ghost were in the same room. You hadn’t completely stopped talking to him, but you seemed hesitant to say anything.

“No lovey, we aren’t mad at each other” he answered quickly.

“Mama seems upset about something” Ellie pointed out, looking at the ghost who looked so comically big in that small corner.

Ghost sighed a little. “I…did kinda do something”.

“What’d you do?”.

Now to come up with an explanation a little kid would understand. That was the hard part. Ghost wasn’t stupid. He knew kids were smarter than adults usually gave them credit for. However, this wasn’t her fight to sort out. This wasn’t her problem to solve. This was between you and Ghost, whatever this was.

“I kept a secret that I shouldn’t have” he said.

“But I thought that’s the point of secrets?” Ellie cocked her head.

She wasn’t wrong. Thankfully he had a good counter for that.

“Sometimes yes. But serious ones, ones that could hurt people, they need to be told. Not be secrets. Surprises are temporary, secrets aren’t. I kept something from your mum that seriously hurt her feelings. We talked about it and I thought we were doing okay”.

“What was the secret?”

Now that was something he didn’t want to tell her. Not yet. Not to mention it really wasn’t his place to tell her. It was yours, and he wasn’t about to take that from you.

“Your mum will tell you when you’re older, I’m sure”.

“But I wanna know now,” Ellie said, “Please?”

Behind his mask, he couldn’t help but smile. “I appreciate the manners, kiddo, but I can’t tell ya. No matter how much I want to. It’s gonna be alright. I promise. Your mum just needs time and we gotta wait for your little brain to develop a little-”.

Ellie frowned. “You think I’m stupid…”

“What? No! No, never! I could never think that way about you, lovey. You’re a smart kid. It’s just that, problems between adults should stay between adults” he carefully sat down just in front of her on her bed, “What gave you that silly idea?”

Ellie put her hands on her head. “I hate talking about my brain”.

“Why?”

“Makes me feel dumb”.

“Sweetheart, you are anything but dumb. There’s just some things that you don’t understand yet. But I promise you, someday you will. It’ll take a while, but you will. And I’ll be there when your mum wants to tell you. You’re not alone Ellie, and you never will be if I can help it”.

With that, he hugged the little girl as best he could. It was cold, but Ellie didn’t seem to mind it. She was still worried about the situation though, she couldn’t help that.

“Can you and mama be friends again?” she asked.

“I’ll try to talk to her and see what’s going on. I caused this and I think only I can fix it. But seriously, Noelle…Do not for one second think you're dumb, stupid, ugly, or whatever negative thing is in your little head. You are remarkable. You’re sweet, kind, and you have the biggest heart of any kid I know. What or whoever is saying otherwise-”.

“My brain says it…” she admitted with a frown.

Behind his mask, Ghost frowned. Depression in such a young child was hard to swallow. He understood what she meant and that was a sad thing. But at least he knew.

“My brain used to say things like that too” he told her.

“Really?” she asked.

Ghost nodded. “A lot, actually. I…Only I didn’t hear my voice in my head saying things like that”.

Ellie cocked her head. “It wasn’t your voice?”

“Nope. My father was very mean, he’d say terrible things and do terrible things. Whenever my brain said negative things about me, I’d hear him say it”.

“What would you do to make it stop?”.

He couldn’t tell her that in the end, the voice had won over. No, he wouldn’t let her be without hope like he had been. He couldn’t do that to her.

“I’d tell him to shut up. That I was doing the best I could, and if nothing was good enough for him, then I’d give him nothing. Pay him no mind, give him no credence. No attention. Nothing. I would listen to music. Think of things that I liked, things that made me happy. And most of the time, he would stop”.

Ellie looked thoughtful. “Can you tell my brain to shut up?”

Ghost chuckled. “I can do something better. Close your eyes for me”.

The girl did as he asked and he put his hands on either side of her head. Again, his touch was cold, but she didn’t seem to mind at all.

“Hey, Ellie’s brain…be nice” he whispered, “She’s got it rough enough as is. She doesn’t need you makin’ it worse. If you aren’t nicer to her, I’ll come in there, and you’ll be very sorry”.

Ellie laughed and her eyes fluttered open. “Will it help?”.

“Well, when your brain starts saying mean things, I want you to remember that. I want you to hear my voice in your head saying just that. Sometimes our greatest bullies are the ones inside us. But it doesn’t need to be. When that happens, tell me or your mum, and we can make those thoughts go away”.

Ellie nodded in understanding. “Thank you” she wished she could hug him.

She didn’t need to, as Ghost reached his arms out and embraced her in an icy hold. “There isn’t a thing I wouldn’t do for you, sweetheart. Remember that”.

“I’ll try…” she answered.

“That’s all I can ask” he replied letting her go, “I’ll try talking to your mum. I promise you, none of this is your fault or anything. It’s purely mine. I’ll take care of it. I promise. You just worry about being the best dang Ellie there is”.

Ellie smiled widely and nodded. “I’ll try. Thank you!”.

“You got this little one” he stood, “Now to go talk to your mum. Whatever you hear, I promise: It’s not your fault. Alright?”

“Not my fault”.

“Exactly. If you have to, cover your ears and keep saying it”.

“Are you guys gonna yell?”

His eyes softened more at that. “I’ll try not to. But your mum is really upset with me. Not you, me. Everything’s gonna be okay, I promise”

He remembered being that young and being afraid of his parent’s raised voices. He didn’t have anyone to protect him then, and he would be damned if he failed to protect her. It was bad enough the poor dear suffered from depression already. Ghost refused to make it worse if it could be helped.

Now it was time again to face the music, and figure out what exactly was bothering you now…

You were sitting in your room, having just washed up from dinner and now settling into your night routine. You were still looking for a therapist, as you weren’t about to go back on your word with Ghost, despite the new information you had. Soap had messaged you not too long ago, but you weren’t sure if you could talk to any of them without anger. You weren’t even really sure why you were angry at them. Price, Gaz, and Soap hadn’t actually done anything. They were just there the night of your transplant.

It was bad enough your mom and sister were there. You hated that they saw you like that, on the verge of death and needing a transplant. You hated that Ellie saw you like that. A chill passed by you and you set your book down, turning your app back on so you two could communicate somewhat.

You…okay…

“About as good as I can be in these circumstances” you answered.

Angry…me.

“You’re angry?”

No…you. Me.

“I’m still processing everything and I actually learned something else”.

What?

“Your friends were there that night”.

That took him by surprise. The guys were there? Why? Was it time? Were they coming to say goodbye? Did they still think that fondly of him at that point? He didn’t know what to say to that.

“Price called me, he left a message. I thought of calling him back, but I haven’t had the time and I don’t wanna run the risk of screaming at them. It was bad enough that my family saw me in that condition. I didn’t want your friends to be subject to it too”.

He wondered if they were actually there for him. It would make sense…

For…me…not…you.

“It’s possible. I just…I hate thinking of all those people’s eyes on me. I was sick, and I needed help. Not pity”.

You got help.

“I know but…I just have mixed feelings about it”

That didn’t answer his question though. You had been really tense with him as of late, and he wanted to know if perhaps he did something wrong.

Wrong?

“What?”

Something…wrong…I…did.

You sighed. “As I said, I just need time to process everything. I didn’t expect to get so tangled up in the military again. After my partner’s passing I didn’t want anything to do with it anymore. Now I’m caught in it forever. I just feel awkward around you now, it’s weird”.

Awkward?

You sighed and looked over at the end of the bed where you assumed he was sitting. It was now or never, and he had a right to know.

“You…Okay, I don’t want you to feel weird like I do, but I think it’s important” you got up and closed your door, careful to make sure you didn’t make too much noise as Ellie was about ready for bed by now.

With the door shut, you went back to the bed, heart hammering in your ribcage like a bird trying to get free. You weren’t sure how he was going to take this. Hell, YOU didn’t even know how to take this. It was so…bizarre and maybe wrong on some deep moral level. You weren’t sure. You opened your mouth to finally talk.

“When you touched me the other night…my chest and everything…” you were looking at your hands, trying to keep your palms from sweating, stifling the urge to pick at your arms, “You made me feel something. Some kind of way. I…haven’t felt anything like it since before my partner died”.

Uh oh…

Oh god…

No…no…no…

Red flags were going up in Ghost’s head. A voice in his mind, for once not his father’s, was screaming: “Go away, go back to the closet right bloody now and do NOT come out!”. This could not be going where he thought it was going. Even so, he couldn’t move. He wanted to, oh gods he wanted to, but something just held him in place. He was stuck in some kind of nightmare scenario and there was no getting out of it.

When he didn’t reply, you continued.

“Maybe I’m just crazy, or lonely or something…but…I liked it. I liked it…definitely more than I should have. I mean, I totally get it, you didn’t mean it in like a sexual kinda way, but…” your words failed, “Fuck…”.

An awkward silence hung between you. Simon had NO idea what to do or say. You actually liked that he touched you? And he definitely didn’t mean it in that sort of way, but it felt…nice. He hadn’t felt warmth like that in ages, softness in even longer a time. He didn’t find the action to be entirely unpleasant and you definitely didn’t either.

Weird and yet, it felt so right…in a strange way.

Simon snapped back to reality. No, this wasn’t some weird romance novel shit. This was actually happening and it was wrong. He was dead, you were alive. To wish for such things would be black mark on both of you. He would be holding you back. And you, if anyone ever found out, would be ostracized as a…well…was there a term for someone who wanted to sleep with ghosts?

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything. I feel so damn stupid” You shook your head and kept your gaze still on your hands, “I’m not a necrophiliac I swear…”

I know.

“It’s wrong. It’s so wrong…”.

Feel wrong?

“Feel wrong?”

Did…it…feel…wrong?

“Well no because you asked permission first. All I wanted to do was show you the scar, to show you what you did, in a way” you answered honestly, “And again, I know the intention behind it wasn’t-”

Again?

You stopped, stunned. Hell the question even took Simon off guard. But gods be damned he…he actually wanted to touch you again. As he had said before there were things he missed about being alive, warmth and softness being chief among them. A ghost's afterlife tended to be empty and cold. But you…you made him feel like he actually existed…

You were almost too stunned for words. “I…I think I’d like that…a lot”.

You felt a blast of cold over you as you laid back against the pillows, like he was moving on top of you. It was a heavy feeling, but not exactly physical. It was hard to describe. You felt the same chill softly bristle your cheek, like something was gently touching you. As odd a sensation it was you didn’t find it at all unpleasant. You drowned out the voice in your mind screaming that this was wrong and that you shouldn’t want this. But goddamn…did you ever want something so badly?

You felt both of his hands on your cheeks, your head moving seeming on its own accord. You felt almost hypnotized as the deathly cold traced your cheeks and down your face. Your heart hammered again inside you, your stomach was doing odd flips. You closed your eyes, something taking over you. Your lips felt suddenly cold and you just knew…you just knew.

Ghost was kissing you.

You were being kissed by a dead man.

A dead man whose heart beat in your chest.

Knowing this only seemed to heighten your senses as you felt his icy hands roam over your mostly bare arms. The straps to your simple cami fell to your shoulders as the kiss intensified. You seemed to meet those cold lips with the same intensity, closing your eyes as you felt your stomach go warm…and something further down started to ache. It had been so goddamn long…

When you opened your eyes, he was there, mask half up to reveal his graying skin and violet tinted lips. You weren’t afraid. You had never been afraid. And you sure as hell weren’t now.

“You alright lovey? Is this alright?” he asked, his eyes intense and his voice a little husky.

You let out a few quivering breaths before you answered. “This is fine. I’m okay. I promise”.

“Do you want me to take this off of you?” he asked, eyeing your cami shirt.

You felt your cheeks go warm as he asked, but you could only nod. Ghost took it as silent approval and moved his icy hands to your waist so he could pull the shirt up and over your head. Still ignoring that damn pesky voice, you raised your arms a little to let him pull it off. Your eyes found his as he flung it away and put his head to yours.

“Don’t you worry about a thing tonight love…I’ve got you” Simon kissed your head.

Something in you settled a little and you knew for certain that he was right. This was right…

Sorry guys but I'm not a smut writer, I leave that to the pros cause I sure as hell am not one. Maybe I'm a coward or maybe it's cause I'm on the ace spectrum. Who knows?

Anyway if you guys liked this part please feel free to like, comment, tag, and please reblog. I really appreciate it. I hope yall are having an awesome day and I'll hopefully be back soon ^.^ thank you for your patience!

#fanfiction #cod fanfic #simon ghost riley #ghosts that we knew #ghost x reader #ghost!ghost #paranormal romance #paranormal friendship

[howyouloveyourdragon]

Some 'Jessie (Jace)'s Girl' Headcanons

based on my fanfic Jessie (Jace)'s Girl

A/N: these are just some headcanons i came up with while writing also im sorry that aemond is such a sad boi in this, it had to be done

Jacaerys

– straight up refuses to answer to his full name unless you're angry at him, – he will turn round with the widest eyes and deer in headlights expression, fearing for his life, he knows better than to piss you off – verrryy clingy, this boy will do anything just to hold your hand – he likes to help teach you the drums just as an excuse to get close to you – you said you liked his hair long one time and bitch held onto that, Luke sometimes threatens to cut it in his sleep cause he's so protective of it now – considered bleaching his hair for awhile because the attention on it was getting to him and he could barely look at it in the mirror anymore – only started to love his hair because he started to get compliments on it when he got to college and you like to play with the curls – if he's honest, it's become one of his favourite parts about himself now and that only makes his crush even harder on you – started 'The Blacks' back up again because he genuinely loves music, not just because it was his mum's and it was expected of him – it actually surprised Rhaenyra when he suggested taking it on after it broke up – is very diligent in practicing but rarely berates anyone for being late or cancelling so long as the rest come and they have a genuine excuse, he only ever got pissed off at this when it was coming close to the 'King's Gate Best Bands' comp because he knew he was going to confess his feelings for you and needed everything to be perfect – was extremely anxious about it – if it wasn't for The Greens playing 'Jessie's Girl' then Baela would have had to do some heavy coercion to get him to sing it with her – was originally going to tell you he loved you on your last date but chickened out – he's actually very insecure because of the whole media drama of his paternity – the media used to stake out his school to get pictures of him because Rhaenyra, Harwin and Laenor wanted to keep his privacy, it was all very traumatising for him and it didn't help when his uncles and step-grandmother started making fun of or quipping at him and his brothers for it too – because of this he is also very protective of his younger sibling and he's grown a sixth sense for cameras – Rhaenyra and Laenor never married but they did fake date for the media so Rhaenyra's relationship with Harwin and Laenor's relationship with Joffrey wouldn't get out, they wanted their privacy – went through a period where he resented his mother for not just being public with Harwin from the start but slowly understands when he starts getting feelings for you and fans start to hound him about you – has trouble stringing his feelings into words so dodges the most lyric work as possible – doesn't love the business elements of it but takes on the responsibility of it and tries to understand as much as possible, takes it all very seriously – actually really enjoys going out after gigs and interacts with other bands as much as possible – very good at strengthening connections

Aemond

– the first time he saw you, he thought you were just one of the many girls Aegon had taken an interest in but then he caught you in class and frowned – he became concerned until you kept returning and he discovered you were merely a platonic friend of his brother's – it's relieving to hear but also hurts a little when he can't stop looking at you when you stay over for dinner with that golden girl façade perfect to his parents and practically enchanting them – he blushes everytime he sees you and jumps at the opportunity to impress you when his brother mentions restarting up 'The Greens', he's so eager to join – he already plays his aunt's old bass but now he practices with it religiously – and when you come over to watch them practice? he swoons, beaming and trying even harder until the expression falls at the sight of you hugging and praising his brother more than the rest even though you both know the guy barely tries – so he decides to move out after enrolling in university and escape you – unfortunately absence only makes the heart grow fonder and when he sees you again at that cursed bar, his heart flutters unabashedly – but he's confident now, had two girlfriends and is ready to make his move... – but then he shows up with his arm draped over you and kissing your cheek – Aemond deflates and freezes but still holds on hope – maybe it's just a one night thing? – do you even know who he is? probably not and you'll regret it in the morning and he can try again – but the next morning comes and he creeps down the stairs, peeking past the wall to find Aegon and Jacaerys in a heated discussion but it's not angry, just frustrated – all he can think is shit as Aegon begrudgingly approves their nephew's request to ask you out and he wants to smack that shit-eating grinning right off of that smug bastard's face not for the first time – from that day forward he makes a promise to himself that he's going to make you see how much better for you he is than anyone else, bringing you snacks when you come to gigs, offering to tie your hair back for you, 'oh don't pay for that i've got it' – will always lend you his jacket unprompted even if Jace is around – he will subtly flirt even if your right next to Jace, playing it off – loves making inside jokes, the idea that there's this hidden language that only the both you know makes him so giddy – it's also so satisfying to tell people 'oh you wouldn't get it' and wink – not the best lyricist but tries his best to help

Aegon

– he first met you when you were kids and you pushed him off the swing set because he was taking too long – he cried but if anyone asks how you met he'll put on a false bravado and pretend he let you on instead, puffing his chest and using your younger age against you but no one ever really believes him – you grew up together and he loves to bring up photos of your awkward phase and practically has them buried in his pocket at all times – secretly has a photo of you both at prom together in his wallet, he was thrilled when you asked him and wanted to see that bitch Verity Brown who was making fun of your singleness – you were the first person to bleach his hair, he was whining about his natural blonde and that it wasn't cool enough – he wouldn't stop badgering you to do something with it, too excited – dyed his hair all sorts of colour with help from his older sister Rhaenyra, his mum hates it – everytime he dyes it a new colour, he makes you spin a wheel to decide – at the moment however he's happy with the bleached look – this boy teases you constantly – was the biggest fuckboy on campus to no ones surprise before he dropped out to pursue the band – you were there for him during his worst times and the height of disappointing his family – his mother gave him an ultimatum to either join The Greens with his brother, sign back up for uni and pay it off on his own or leave the family – he went to your place in tears and sobbed with you all night, he didn't even know who he was anymore, all he knew was that you were his friend and he trusted you – it's that night that he realises he loves you, he doesn't know when it began but he knows it's true – he distances himself from you for about a month before he crawls back to you and tells you he's joined The Greens, he wants to prove himself; to you, to his mother, to his siblings, father, everyone – he wants to be good enough for you – he actually doesn't have many close friends other than you but everyone sees him as a popular figure – people want his approval and to be friends with him but nobody actually know him or want to be there for him – he can be between hyperactivity and low movement depending on his mood so always an extreme but you can always count on him to invite you out for the night – he insists on a Friday Movie Night every week and genuinely considers it like it's sacred – when Jace asks his approval to ask you out, he sighs – the whole reason that he hasn't asked you out himself is because he doesn't want you hurt but he knows his nephew is relatively harmless and if he wanted to hurt you, Aegon doubted he could actually go through with it – and Jace makes you happy doesn't he? he wants you to be happy – he wants you to have everything you could possibly imagine and more – he's never on time to band meetings or rehearsals, he likes to wing it much to the distress of Aemond

#jessie (jace)'s girl #jessie (jace)'s girl ff #jessie's girl ff #jace's girl ff #jace's girl #headcanons #fanfic headcanons #jessie's girl headcanons #hotd headcanons #ff headcanons #house of the dragon ff #house of the dragon headcanons #modern au #modern band au #modern hotd #modern hotd au #modern jacaerys #modern jacaerys velaryon #modern jace velaryon #modern aemond #modern aemond targaryen #modern aegon targaryen #modern aegon ii targaryen #modern jacaerys velaryon x reader #modern!aemond x reader #modern!jacaerys x reader #modern!aegon x reader #band au #modern!jacaerys velaryon x reader #modern!jace velaryoon x reader