#Child Trafficking Mention

[catgirlcrisis]

please god just give me one day

#just one day #thats all i ask. #personal #ask to tag #child trafficking mention

[furiousgoldfish]

I'm going to sit down and try to explain this with patience, to everyone who still thinks calling out narcissistic abuse is 'ableist' or 'dehumanizing to the narcissists', and that abuse is something we're all equally capable of.

I don't think you understand what narcissistic abuse is, or how it differs from the other kinds of abuse. We can agree that all and any abuse is damaging, traumatic and scarring, but narcissistic abuse is so extremely pervasive, hidden, strategic and unbelievable, to the point where I can't honestly tell it's something any regular human would be capable of. And even more than this, the survivors of this particular type of abuse have found it extremely, extremely difficult to figure out they've been abused, even when they've been put through extreme, devastating, and absolutely dehumanizing scenarios. Realizing that your loved one is a narcissist requires your entire world to break down, and every piece of your heart shatters in the realization, and it takes months, even years to accept it.

The only way we can possibly figure it out is to connect the patterns. And patterns of the narcissistic abuse are focused on erasing one's own sense of self, one's perspective and ultimately, complete control over someone's emotions and behaviours. This is often done from early on, the grooming process starts at age zero, your value, worth and usefulness is determined by them, and you cannot wrangle yourself free from it on your own, not without someone confirming to you that you've been held captive, that your free will has been taken a long time ago.

Unfortunately, I have to give some examples, because I don't think it can be explained otherwise. When I was 2 years old, a narcissistic person found it a nuisance to watch over me, and they beat me up every time I disobeyed. I was a toddler. Then they proceeded to convince me that I was a demon, and would burn in hell regardless of what I do for the rest of my life. I've been brainwashed by this person to believe I was not a human being, had no human rights, that it was correct and regular for me to be locked up, beaten, and that it was my fault every single time, even when I did all that was asked of me. This person then had me comfort them after they would beat me, because it was a stressful experience for them. I wasn't allowed to cry. I would be beaten for making a face expression they didn't like. It was random and unexplainable.

Another narcissistic person created a game where they would give me wrong instructions for a task, then torture me when I did exactly as they instructed me to. It got to a point where I would beg them to tell me what to do correctly, and they would respond with a laughing 'you should be old enough to know this' and they would be even happier to beat me up and scream at me for getting it wrong. This person not only threatened to kill me regularly, but often made me believe I was in my last few seconds of life, putting me in position where I believed I was about to die. They forced me to work for them in unsafe conditions, heavy physical jobs, where I was not allowed to say I'm tired, not allowed to cry, and even after I'd do everything, they would still tell me I didn't deserve to eat. I was a child. I didn't think for a second I was being abused. I was already brainwashed to believe that everyone else had it worse, and that I was lucky.

I had no identity besides existing for them, I had no free will except to try and make myself into something they could use, and if I didn't do a good enough job, I'd be ostracized. They loved beating me, screaming at me and making me cry, and then they'd leave me in a room crying without being allowed to make any noise, while they laughed in the room next to me, as a family, loudly so I could hear what a great time they were having. They would treat other children gently in front of me in order to try and make me jealous. They would revise every part of what they did to me if I ever tried to bring it up. I wasn't allowed my own perspective, opinion, or complaint. I wasn't even allowed to remember the abuse correctly. I would be locked in a room and questioned and punished if my opinions weren't to their liking.

I don't believe this is something anyone is capable of doing. I don't believe anyone of us is capable of torturing a kid until the kid begs to be killed. I don't believe most of us are capable of erasing a child's point of view, their reality, their humanity to the point where the child is forced to live a life where they will either comply or be killed, and they will be tortured no matter what. This isn't a regular thing that a person can easily do.

Luckily, us who have been through this, have noticed that there is a specific pattern to their behaviour. That they use almost identical phrases with which their invoke guilt, fear and hopelessness. That they can go frighteningly fast from rage to laughter to acting hurt. That they enforce their will over ours with a specific type of terror that triggers both our survival instincts and our compassion and shame. That we've been groomed by them in an almost identical way - to not believe that we're allowed our own feelings, memories, opinions, point of view, or freedom. That we have learned to exist only to be an extension of them.

We also all noticed that we're all absolutely, beyond terrified of them, and that we don't feel we're allowed to say it, or think it. That we're taught by terror to keep believing that they're good people, that they do none of it on purpose, not even the most extreme, insane, egregious abuse. That they will go to any length, even committing more atrocities, to escape accountability. That they use tactics of darvo, gaslighting, double-bind, planting insecurities, triangulating, future faking, discarding, love bombing, mirroring, smear campaigns, projection, scapegoating, silencing, throwing tantrums, victim playing, like it's in their second nature. That they're genuinely, absolutely terrifying and almost unreal in how far they're capable of going. And most of all, that they are dangerous, and capable of completely turning another human being into their puppet, and never think for a second that it might be wrong. To them, we are nothing more but toys to manipulate, control, and discard. We are disposable. There is no limit to what they can do to us, because to them, we are not alive. They would do to us what normal people wouldn't do to a corpse. And they feel superior for it.

People abused by narcissists from early age are likely to develop the most complex and extreme disorders, complex ptsd and dissociative identity disorder being some of them, because that's what it takes to survive being a child and existing next to a narcissist. This means that small children need to be shattered in pieces in order to please the narcissist. Others that are very common are eating disorders, anxiety, depression, paranoia, avoidant personality disorder, panic disorder, and compulsions to cater to everyone's needs, to the point of our own destruction. This is what they make of us, on purpose, in order for us to be of use to them. And they will forever insist it's their right.

When I'm saying the word 'narcissist', I am not referring to 'anyone diagnosed with npd', I am referring to a person who will do this to a child, and insist on doing it for the rest of the child's life. I am writing it because I don't want children to have to live like this forever. I am not aiming to dehumanize the narcissist, their actions show who they are, I am saying, be careful and aware that this person will dehumanize you. That you are disposable to them. That making you feel good in order for you to like them, is a game to them, and one they're very good at. That playing the victim at you and demanding justice, will easily manipulate you into standing against the victims of abuse and talking down to them for 'dehumanizing their abusers', and being 'ableist to the npd', after being tortured past the point of return by those people.

A lot of us are permanently damaged by what's been done to us. We are not asking for justice. We're not asking for revenge. We are asking to be safe. We're asking for this to stop. We're asking for children not to be left alone with people who are dangerous to this level. We're asking you to understand that a narcissist left alone with a child means a child in danger.

It's common to not be aware just how bad it can go, because we think that most humans know not to torture a child. We believe that nobody would do things to children that narcissists do. If you read the stories of the survivors, you'll find out what actually happens behind closed doors. The themes of torture, dehumanization, sexual abuse, brainwashing, violence, and extreme cruelty are common, even towards toddlers.

I need you to not attack those children when they grow up and say they no longer want to be around narcissists. I need you to understand that they know what they're talking about when they say it's not safe, that they want to be protected. The society already failed to protect them at their most vulnerable, and they had to make it alive by their wits alone. And now you won't even let them speak without attacking them? It's inexcusable.

If you want to know about the narcissists, read what their victims have gone through. Then make a judgment on whether we're allowed to speak, and whether it's worth warning others to hold caution. I've heard and read stories of narcissistic parents sex-trafficking their own child, holding them captive and locked up and convincing them it's right to do this, using brutal punishments to 'train' them into inhumane slave-like behaviour, keeping the children in state so terrified the children wished they were dead. And in all those cases, they still convinced the children to love their parents, and to never blame them for any kind of abuse. Yes, even in the sex-trafficking cases.

Fighting for those children to realize that they didn't deserve that, is the only correct thing to do. Fighting to help them realize they're in danger, and that they deserve safely, it's not only right but extremely necessary, it's what we all should be putting all of our energy into.

Wanting to keep others safe will never be wrong. Wanting to protect those who still have their identity, their sense of self, their undamaged humanity, their free will and their point of view, that's worth fighting for! And above all, those who already lost it all, need to be protected. We cannot allow for already badly wounded people to be dehumanized over and over again. Nobody deserves that.

#narcissistic abuse #tw child abuse #tw child trafficking mention #narcissistic parents #toxic parents #psychological abuse #taking children's identity and self perception #to train them into personal toys and disposable puppets #while neglecting the children to the point where children don't realize they have the right to feelings #or even to exist without the parent's approval #devastating abuse #abuse

[stardustdiiving]

Lyney & Lynette childhood trauma & subsequent codependency makes me so miserable. They’re explicitly described as children who seem too mature for their age in a way that makes an adult helping them worry about what they’ve gone through as a result and specifically points out the fact they only rely on each other as potentially worrying and feels sad he can’t do more to help them….

On the codependency note…obviously I’m not saying it’s bad Lyney & Lynette have each other to rely on but reading their character stories where Lyney asks Arlecchino for a delusion because he’s anxious he can’t be with Lynette on missions, since she has a Vision now & is getting assigned work only fit for Vision bearers…the way he talks about having his sense of trust obliterated by adults exploiting them as young children and how they’re now the “truest thing each other has in the world” bc they had to be so hypervigilant as children to survive makes me so sad. The fact he like….knows what he said to Jemma would hurt because he’s also so used to depending on other person to make life feel worth it

Especially when Lyney discusses this in tandem with his fear of drowning in the amount of secrecy and dissociation from himself he puts up around people

They literally looked like this…by this point theyd already experienced the aristocrat exploiting Lyney’s magic skills and Lynette being trafficked. Man

#lyney #Lynette #lyney storyquest spoilers #genshin #fern.txt #fandomferns #child abuse tw #human trafficking mention #I feel like I should put some sort of tags on here . oh thr Genshin impact post. A

[hussyknee]

What the FUCK @staff???? You're platforming Qanon propaganda now???

THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE FORCING ON THE QUEER AND JEWISH COMMUNITY ON THIS SITE???? RACISM, ANTI-LGBT DOG WHISTLES AND BLOOD LIBEL???

#this is the site you wanna raise money for??? #this on top of marking trans people's posts with community labels and banning sex workers and shadowbanning accounts for no reason??? #tumblr hellsite #right wing extremism #qanonisacult #misinformation #child trafficking #antisemitism #alt right propaganda #blood libel #white supremacy #racism #tw pedophila mention #conspiracy theories #copaganda #knee of huss #crab day #homophobia #transphobia

[csaventing]

I’m not usually allowed to talk about this to people close to me.. sorry if it’s too triggering, feel free to ignore this.. just needed to vent.

Tw for miscarriages, Child death, Trafficking, etc.

When I was 12 years old.. I had a miscarriage at my friends house. At the time, I thought it was my period. It lasted around a week or two, the bleeding. I always thought That was abnormal but as always, I put the thought into the back of my head.

When I was Even younger, I was trafficked. I don’t Remember if i ever became pregnant during the trafficking .. but I remember How They Killed her. The screams. The blood. The tongue speaking. They wanted us to believe she was being sacrificed..

That day, a newborn baby was killed. She was never on the news because she was never registered in the system at a hospital.. Nobody will believe me. Nobody will ever believe me. Hell, I don’t Even believe myself…

.

#survivor #tw csa implied #tw csa #csa vent #trauma vent #actually traumatized #trauma #tw csa mention #tw miscarriage #tw trafficking #tw sex trafficking #tw human trafficking #tw child death #tw csa vent

[ahthefreedomofbeingbacteria]

Alright so Ebenezer Badde is a bit of an interesting character (or more character concept) if we compare him to Klarion in the Ssov comic.

What's funny about him is that we don't really know why he escaped Limbo Town, why he stuck around in the caves close to Limbo Town (as he was close enough to save Klarion from the Horigal) and why he ultimately decided to start selling kids to child traffickers (including Klarion). This kind of reminds me of Klarion's own ambiguous backstory from his 70-80s appearances; we don't factually know what Klarion's backstory is and what he tells us can't exactly be trusted because the only scene where he talks about his backstory is the one where he's manipulating someone into helping him. It's the same with Ebenezer; the audience and Klarion can't really trust what information he's given us about himself because ultimately he was lulling Klarion into a false sense of security so he could hand him off to Melmoth and his gang. In my personal opinion, Ebenezer should be a 1. reflection of what Klarion could be from both a personal growth perspective (internal to the world) and 2. a sort of commentary on what kind of villain Klarion could be (external / commentary on writing tropes).

1. What I mean by reflection of Klarion is that Ebenezer is a potential reflection of Klarion if he grew into a worse (and more selfish) person. Ebenezer saves Klarion from the Horigal only to sell him in the same issue. He doesn't stumble upon the traffickers, he deliberately heads there the second he has Klarion; this wasnt an opportunity he found by chance, its a deliberate choice he seems to make the second he saves this kid from being mauled or train tracked. And this isn't a first for him either; Klarion is the last of at least 250 other kids that Ebenezer has sold to Melmoth. Ebenezer's little "Oh i feel bad now :( maybe selling kids is bad" at the end of the issue (at kid 251) aside (which i will talk about later), his actions and complete selfishness are a reflection of how Klarion could have developed into a completely selfish person who only functions for his own purposes and wants. Klarion's motivations during the ssov series are to both survive / not get trafficked (surface level) and to gain freedom and independence from the controlling atmosphere of Limbo Town. A big theme with his character across incarnations is his want to be free to do what he wants and not be controlled or told what to do. And while this drive is a good motivation and quite understandable, complete freedom is something we see within this comic in the hands of Submissionary Judah, Ebenezer and Melmoth. These people have the power in the situations they're in (whether as the leader of a powerful organization or the adult in the situation) who use the freedom this power gives them to operate without considering morals or the lives and happiness of other people. So Klarion's drive for power and freedom are well waranted and understandable but Ebenezer serves as a warning for how if Klarion truly embraced complete freedom even from morals he could become as bad as the villains in his story.

2. Now for the external commentary. I think Ebenezer is also a good reflection of Klarion's previous villanous incarnations in addition to a reflection of a popular villain trope. I've already compared Ebenezer to Klarion's 70-80s self and thats the version that I think Ebenezer would be the best commentary on in addition to the Young Justice (show) version of the character. These versions have no remorse or sympathy for other people (besides Teekl, of course) and his only goal in these incarnations is to have fun at the expense of others. The thing that I think ties Klarion's villainous incarnations and Ebenezer together is the fact that the Klarion we see in ssov is technically also the version we see in the 70-80s; timetravel bullshit occures which sends 2005 ssov Klarion back in time to the 70s for the events of his original appearance to occur in Jack Kirby's The Demon #7. While I personally don't like this twist it does allow for a more literal way to show that Klarion has chosen to become completely free even from his own morals, like I stated when I was going over point 1. in the previous paragraph. Ebenezer is a reflection of if Klarion decided to operate solely on what he wanted to do regardless of other people and his devolution from his ssov self to his original self through the time travel bullshit in the finale of the ssov event is a literal way to show that the warning Ebenezer represents has not been heeded and Klarion is on his way to become a similarly bad person.

On top of that I think Ebenezer could be a little commentary on the villain trope of a person having a tragic backstory that leads to them becoming a villain (i dont think Ebenezer is actually written like this but i think it'd be interesting if he was). Ebenezer can be inferred to be Klarion's biological father through some dialogue where he seems to regret selling "his own flesh and blood". We know Klarion's bio dad was a bit of a revolutionary in Limbo Town before he left, as Klarion's stepfather seems to look up to him as someone who inspired some revolutionary ideals before he ran off into Blue Rafters / escaped Limbo Town. So Ebenezer could have a similar story to Klarion; he rejected the ideals of Limbo Town and was isolated from his peers for it, eventually deciding to leave Limbo altogether. The years after his departure obviously weren't good as he's starting resorting to child trafficking to get goods from above ground. And like I said earlier, Ebenezer seems to regret his decision to sell Klarion at the last minute and does a moral heel turn, trying to save Klarion before he's captured. However, he still seems to not comprehend how bad his actions were as he honest to god is suprised when the kid he sold doesnt help him when all the other kids he sold get their revenge. It parrarels a lot of tragic villains written today that have tragic backstories (in this case Ebenezers probable isolation in Limbo Town, his bad experiences above ground and his eventual guilt over his horrific decision making) that change their morals at the last minute so they can get a redemption without putting any work into actually changing and redeeming themselves. So throughout the whole issue he laments his past and how much wrong he's done and how much trouble he could get in if the Horigal / Submissionaries catch him but instead of actually taking a look at himself and changing he just keeps on trucking and making the same horrible decisions. He uses his past and his own unwillingness to change himself and his situation to justify his actions and when he finally makes a decision to change up his act and goes back to save Klarion, he's suprised that Klarion feels no sympathy for him and no remorse for letting the Leviathan kill him. And idk that kind of speaks to the fact that he didnt actually meaningfully change or challenge his worldview; he made a split second decision that made no real impact on Klarion's journey because he felt bad  (once again, he didnt change his worldview or change at all. He just felt bad and acted impulsively) and then seemed to expect all to be forgiven and for him to just be able to continue his life unimpeded. He doesnt even seem to regret selling kids, he just regrets selling Klarion seemingly because he's "his own flesh and blood". And I think this parralels with Klarion again, because Klarion has been challenging his own worldview and the ideals of everyone around him in Limbo Town. Hes constantly getting his image of the world shattered (finding out there is no Croatian, being betrayed, seeing Blue Rafters, being betrayed again, almost getting burned at the stake) but he changes with these revelations and doesn't let the challenging of his ideals or idea of the world break him down. Ebenezer Badde wallows in the dank caves beneath New York for years because he just can't change or challenge himself to actually accept his reality and move on with his life while Klarion constantly changes with each new revelation in the new world he encounters and doesn’t allow all the shit he goes through or challenges to his worldview shatter his morality or sense of self (with some help and guidance from Teekl, of course).

In conclusion Ebenezer Badde cool parrarel to Klarion and I'm glad he's dead. Thank you for reading 💫.

#klarion the witch boy #dc #teekl #my post #Ebeenezer Badde #I am aware that is the correct spelling. Autocorrect was easier 👍 #tw child trafficking mention #long post

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

I got a request for a audio, a situation where listener and Doll are watching a documentary about kidnapped children of London, and then Doll be like " That's fake, We haven't even got that many children" An listener be like "excuse me, What?!?!" XD something like that hehehe

I'm assuming this is for the Terms of Service AU, DELICIOUSLY DEVIOUS!!

enjooooy~

do you dare open the app after your companion crashed it while watching this documentary...?

sound effects from https://freesfx.co.uk/

(in addition to Freckles' voice, I also improv'd and voiced the fake documentary narration!)

transcript below the cut!

AUDIO START

[KUROSHITSUJI app start: ascending bubble tone, chimes, and a cute female voice saying “Kuroshitsuji!”]

“’Ey! Whatcha watchin’? Oh… documen’ary? Oh, that’s like… that’s like a show… like, based on… real stuff, innit? Wot’s it ‘bout? Oh, okay, watch with y’. Sure.”

(female documentary narrator on TV) “The Victorian era in England was a time of great culture and innovation.”

“Ohhhhh…!”

(female documentary narrator on TV) “However, this period was also not without its own unique problems.”

“So it’s about the Victorian era. Hm…”

(female documentary narrator on TV) “Many of the Victorian era’s flaws stemmed from social issues. Although the statistics are a bit murky… it’s estimated that in the later years of the Victorian era, at least 500 children had gone missing.”

“Wh… ‘uh? ‘Undreds?? C’mon! Oh, ain’t no way. We didn’t take that many.”

(female documentary narrator on TV) “Many of them were the victims of kidnapping, human trafficking, and murder.”

“Uh… ah… I mea… ah…”

(chuckles nervously)

“Sorry, I… I don’t know why I said that. I dunno wot I’m talkin’ ‘bout… uh…”

(female documentary narrator on TV) “An unfortunate black mark on London’s history…”

“Wot the… ah…”

(female documentary narrator on TV) “… The sad truth is that many of these disappearances were never resolved.”

“Uh! Sorry, um… y-y’ mind if we watch somethin’ else? I dunno… this one’s… kinda disturbin’, don’t y’ think? Ah…”

(female documentary narrator on TV) “There are speculations that, in the later years, some of the kidnappings may have had something to do with a local circus.”

“Mnh…”

[KUROSHITSUJI app voice: “KUROSHITSUJI app crashed. Fatal error.”]

(female documentary narrator on TV) “While these claims are mostly unfounded, there is some evidence to suggest…”

END AUDIO

#kidnapping mention tw #human trafficking mention tw #Black Butler #Kuroshitsuji #Doll/Freckles #audio #romantic #platonic #drama #idk does this count as horror???? I'm not sure based on Doll's reaction alone #tho the implication that your A.I. companion might have once been a real person with involvement in child kidnappings is... deffo horrific #sooooo XD #anyway I think this came out really good!!! #it's always a lot of work and editing to do two voices in one audio and one reacting to the other/reacting to each other #but it absolutely always pays off so I'm really proud of this one!! #one hell of a queue

[eversincedeath]

I cannot express in words how frustrated and angry I get when I hear people say that child trafficking is a myth. What absolutely shocks me, is how ignorant these people can be, with no interest in developing any knowledge or understanding around the complexities of this devastating global issue.

It’s time for people to wake up and accept the fact that child trafficking is a serious crime that’s happening all around the world, in plain sight - right next to them. The sheer number of children taken away from their families, held in captivity, and exploited for labor and sex is absolutely harrowing. To think that people won’t accept the reality of this rampant and abhorrent form of exploitation is simply disgusting. No child should have to suffer such injustice, yet this sickening and violent practice continues to affect millions of innocent children every year. Just because there isn’t an easy solution for this crisis doesn’t make it a “myth”. Poor law enforcement, lack of awareness, and corrupt mechanisms all play a complex role in allowing this crime to continue. If people can’t see that widespread child trafficking is a real problem and it needs to be acted upon, then I simply don’t know what else to say. It’s time to stop ignoring the truth and do something about it.

We need to make sure that this global crisis is pushed to the top of the agenda - because it deserves urgent attention and developments in legislation and action. It’s time to shine a light on this horrifying reality and do something to help those innocent children who are suffering right under our noses. It’s time to stand up and not turn a blind eye on child trafficking any longer.

CHILD TRAFFICKING IS NOT A MYTH!

#child trafficking #child trauma #human trafficking #trafficking tw #awareness #controversy #trafficking mention #cw trafficking #sounds of freedom

[junibugs]

ppl when smut is written ab a fictional character that doesn’t exist outside of a script: 💔😡👊🏻

ppl when actual children are sex trafficked and forced into child labor that they actively support: 🩷😋😊🥰❤️

no fr. complaining about fictional literature whole time they sitting at home, buying from shein, amazon, h&m, etc, have a carbon footprint heavier than the core of the sun, blab about how sex work is empowering, couldn't recognize the signs of trafficking even if someone had a "trafficking victim" sign on their damn forehead, can't recognize that the most popular pro choice arguments are blind to racism, and on top of all that they'll have the audacity to degrade, insult, and water down the effects of real life issues by equating them to fiction and refusing to recognize the nuance of the situation

#tw: mentions of child abuse #tw: mentions of sex trafficking #tw: discourse #i'm bored of this conversation because mfs like this do not care about understanding #they only care about being ''right''

[brokenfoxproductions]

I took a bunch of photos yesterday where I looked fine as hell but I really don't know if I want to post them or not just because having my face attached to the stuff I talk about on my YouTube could possibly be a security hazard.

Like, I really want to be able to share nice photos I take of myself that make me feel confident, but I still think that the threats my former trafficker made about suing me or otherwise retaliating against me would be a little bit easier for her to realize if she saw my face online, because unfortunately I have a few distinct characteristics that haven't changed since then, even though I grew up, gained weight, and transitioned.

I just want to be a hot boi on main and I'm not even allowed to do that without being nervous that's something as simple as my eye color would make it easier to harass me in person.

#trauma #trans #childhood trauma #ptsd #transgender #lgbtqia #transmasc #true crime #cptsd #tw trafficking mention #anxiety #trafficking survivor #human trafficking #child trafficking #stalking #retaliation #abuser retaliation #i wish I could be normal and post happy things without worrying about it hurting my real life #every time I've had social media with my face on it before it caused harassment or retaliation from someone I tried to cut out of my life #it's so hard to feel safe posting any photos of myself

[stormlit]

no thoughts just the fact that nazyalensky isn't a name zoya got from her parents, it must be one she chose for herself, and probably the day she went to the little palace and they asked her name, with the first two letters of her father's surname (and one assumes the name she was given at birth) and then the most ravkan ending she could come up with. she wanted to fit in, more than anything, to not be the suli girl but a grisha; she wanted distance from the parents she disowned, the cruel mother who sold her nine year old and the apathetic father who let it happen, people she didn't claim as family.

#she does claim liliyana as family but that surname has bad associations too #zoya created her own image and projection of who she wanted to be #something something everyone saw her beauty first everyone decided what she was gonna be like so she built on that image #i am so tired apologies for lack of coherent posts/replies #ZOYA NAZYALENSKY / headcanon. #abuse // #child abuse mention // #human trafficking mention // #lmk if those aren't close enough tags

[csaventing]

(tw:programming, trafficking)

The worst part of it for me (as an alter) wasn't when I first came into existence, lurching up off my knees to attack those horrible men, screaming that *I'm not meat, stop looking at me like meat*.

It might have been being dragged into that church basement, half drowned in ice water and electric shocked on the back of my head.

It definitely could have been being passed around to all of them to rape, including the one that came to pick one of us to buy an hour with, while I bawled my eyes out

But really, I think it was when they told me they were gonna kill me, and if I didn't stay dead, they'd do it all again, before they drowned me until I passed out. Someone else woke up, and it took me a decade to front again.

I'm still terrified they're hunting me down. That they want to take me back. That nobody can protect me, certainly not myself.

After all, I'm not even human after that. I'm just dead.

.

#survivor #tw csa implied #tw csa #csa vent #trauma vent #actually traumatized #trauma #tw csa mention #tw csa vent #tw trafficking #tw child abuse #tw programming #tw ramcoa #tw sex trafficking #tw rap3 #tw abuse #tw electrocution