#Diana silvers imagine | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hiatuswhore · 2 years

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𝕦𝕘𝕙, 𝕙𝕚𝕘𝕙 𝕤𝕔𝕙𝕠𝕠𝕝 — 𝕥𝕔

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Word Count: 2.4K

A/N: I have been struggling with writers block so I’ve been posting some works I wrote a while back but never put up. Let me know what you think. Feedbacks a good motivator! In my head I picture Shelley Hennig as Ivy, Diana Silvers as Marina, Daniel Sherman as Declan, Lili Reinhart as Mackenzie, and Camila Mendes as Bianca.

SUMMARY: Ugh, high school. Best four years of nothing. Raging mood swings and sporadic acne. All on top of balancing mean girls, douche bag guys, and cocky jocks. Best four years? Yikes image peaking in high school.

I can list several things I cannot stand. I could start with my Mom’s overbearing need to talk about her high school glory days, or my Dad’s never-ending trophies in nearly everything. My list continues for things such as romantic comedies, jean leggings, and platinum blonde hair. Do not tell Ivy about that she is one break-up away from cutting her hair and dying it blonde. I love her to pieces but she is a wildcard with a knack for trouble and a high social media following. Trust me when I say do not look at her Tik Tok. Her high following and verification coming from her looks and problematic prank videos.

“Hello? (Y/n) are you listening?” Marina asked, sitting across from me at the lunch table she types away on her laptop rambling profusely. She delicately placed flowers through her hair with half of it pinned up. She wears a cute white camisole with a beige boho cardigan that reaches the hem of her jeans. Resembling a pretty hippy, it works on her. Apologizing, I ask her to repeat herself but she only rambles about Ivy being in detention. Oddly enough Marina is on the opposite end of the continuum from Ivy. Not only the cheer captain, but one can make it a game of trying to find what club she is not a part of. Even started her own anti-bullying campaign. “So you’re not listening?”

“I’m sorry Mina. I didn’t get much sleep last night because somebody was busy practicing his guitar at all hours of the night.” I groan looking over at the guy’s table. It was a mixture of faces in the masses. No set groups at their table, the mix of guys come from all sports teams and clubs. At the center of the table sits Timmy laughing at something. You know those people you grew up with when you were little but now they just annoy the shit out of you. Yeah, that’s Chalamet, as cliche, as it is the perfect-haired idiot, is my neighbor. We grew up next to each other, yes there is a picture of us bathing together as kids. It is the bane of my existence. Yes, we are still friends but more so a down low thing. Him being the soccer goalie made him this big deal and me being virtually no one makes our friendship odd at school.

“I ordered our homecoming tickets online,” Opening my mouth to protest she quickly shrugs me off. “You have to come, it'll be no fun without you.”

“You’ll both have dates. What am I going to do? Just linger awkwardly?” Biting into my cold fry it lacks salt making me want to spit it out. Marina closes her laptop and turns to her salad she brought from home.

“Ivy and I could find you a date,” Though I have every intention of saying no I miss my opportunity as Mackenzie and Bianca sit next to us. In their cheering uniforms, they wear it every day like it is a badge of honor. It screams pick-me but everyone does pick them so the behavior is enabled.

“Hey, Marina, where's Ivy?” Mackenzie asks, scooting to the side allowing her some space both she and Bianca fail to spare me a single glance. I can see on Marina’s face that she has no interest in talking to either of them but she plants a warm smile on her face. Despite her distaste for the two most clueless people on the planet that is what I love about Marina, she is kind to everyone.

“In detention for calling Coach Hoffman an asshole,” The laugh that leaves my lips contrast the two girls’ wide eyes.

“Anyways we came over with invites for you and Ivy. Party at my place tonight. My parents are out of town.” Bianca’s raven black hair is straightened to perfection. She shuffles through her Michael Kors purse before pulling out two envelopes. Marina looks at me as she thinks it over in her head.

“Ivy will kill us both if we turned this down so yeah we’ll all be there,” For the first time since they sat at the table their eyes drift to me. I smile sheepishly as they look me up and down. Mackenzie grits her teeth as she smiles at me.

“That’s the thing (Y/n) you need an actual invite to get in and I only have a certain amount. I’ll let you know if anything changes,” I am no idiot, I know she is lying, the faux smile and honey tone holds more poison than anything.

“Problem solved.” Handing me half of her invite I bite back a laugh as Marina rips it in half. Both Bianca and Mackenzie feign chuckles as they excuse themselves leaving the two of us to watch them purposely walk by the guys’ table. Marina shakes her as she turns back to her salad. “Those two are something else.”

“I’ll catch you later I have a photography club meeting,” I say and Marina only smiles before going onto her phone. Unlike Bianca and Mackenzie, I actually have to pass the guy’s table to walk over to the dish return. It is okay though because none of them even turn from their conversations except one pair of eyes. Timothee’s lips pull into a smirk before he shoots me a wink. Smiling sarcastically I flipped him off before continuing on.

Mrs. Klotz wastes no time diving into the agenda for the following weeks. Since I arrive a few minutes late it leaves me with the bottom of the barrel for what event to cover. Of course, there is only one event that no one wants to do, the homecoming dance. As the meetings adjourned I wait for everyone to leave the room, the meeting was brief, and yet so much was covered.

“Mrs. Klotz please don’t make me cover the homecoming dance. I don’t even want to go.” I say, closing the club binder she places it in her desk before resting her hands on the desk. She wears glasses that frame her face with her auburn hair, all the guys like to creep on her due to her being fresh out of college.

“I thought it’d be perfect for you (Y/n). I even saw you purchased a ticket,” Mrs. Klotz explains as her eyebrows pull together slightly she tilts her head to the side. I mirror her expression before I remember what Marina had said.

“No, that was Marina. I’m pretty sure what she is attempting is entrapment,” I say, sitting on the edge of the desk behind me I watch as Mrs. Klotz frowns.

“Well, first that is detention for Miss Monroe. The online ticketing policy states students cannot buy tickets for other students,” My stomach flips for a moment as I realize what I have done.

“Did I say Marina sorry I get those two mixed up. It was Ivy who ordered the tickets,” Knowing Ivy would not care as she has been in detention more than she has ever been in class. None of this matters as Mrs. Klotz only apologizes before writing Ivy up and telling me there is no one else who can do it. “I assume you can give this detention slip to Miss Porter.”

In the hallway, I stop as my phone vibrates in my pocket. Ivy sent a text in the group chat telling us to meet her in the computer lab. Walking through the halls my arms fall at my side like dead limbs as I sulk through the corridors. It smells like sweat and pizza from the cafeteria and every couple of lockers is a candy wrapper or abandoned worksheet. Whoever the hell said high school was the best four years of your life, lied. In the computer lab, both Marina and Ivy are already there. Ivy is wearing a tube top with a denim jacket and legging. She is breaking the dress code as usual but it is getting to a point where the faculty do not even care what she wears. I am almost certain Ivy could show up in a bikini and no one would be fazed. Handing her the detention slip her eyebrows pull together.

“Wait what did I do this time?” She asks, explaining the situation she laughs at me before turning to Marina, “Since I am now the sacrificial lamb I would love to talk about that super cute sheer tank top you refuse to let me wear.”

“You get to wear it once then it goes back in my closet,” Marina says, rolling her eyes at the extortion. I look to Ivy asking why she summoned both of us to the computer lab but she only shrugs saying she got bored. There are still ten minutes to spare before the warning bell goes off. Marina hands Ivy the invite to the party and the two giggle amongst themselves about it but I only groan.

“Wait, this is a perfect time to figure out a date for (Y/n) for homecoming. How about Jack Ribas?” Marina says, looking through her Instagram followers as the short boy came to mind I can remember he was my chemistry partner.

“Tiny hands,” I cannot fight the grimace on my face as Ivy laughs before going on her Instagram. The real answer being his ex-girlfriend, she rarely speaks and I am sure she is the reason he has not dated in over a year.

“What about Mark Warshaw?” Ivy asked, earning a nudge from Marina as she is clearly not taking it seriously.

“He smells terrible. Come on,” I say, leaning back in my seat this only furthers how much I do not want to go to homecoming. Marina continues looking through her phone and I cannot say I do not appreciate her wanting to help.

“Terrance Avecedo?” As the name left her lips I could not help but stare at her with eyes I can only imagine appeared crazed.

“You mean my cousin? Dude,” I say as Marina apologizes profusely there is one guy I would not absolutely hate the idea of going with. Just my luck he and a few of his buddies walk by the computer lab. Declan Knight, once again it’s super cliche but he’s the football quarterback and captain. Timothee found it more than hilarious my crush on the 6’2 curly-haired beau.

“Hey, Ivy. Hey, Marina,” He says, popping his head into the computer lab and they both say hey Declan at the same time before he turns to me. “Hey, (Y/n).”

The feeling of panic rushes every inch of me as I force out a chuckle before breathlessly saying, “Hey.”

“Real smooth,” Fortunately Ivy says this as Declan is already continuing on wherever he is walking toward. Marina once again nudges Ivy as I put my head down groaning loudly.

“I am going to my locker. Please leave me to sulk about my day in peace.” I say and I hear Marina yell love you, saying it back I do not turn around. Everyone is in the hallways always playing it dangerously close to the late bell. At my locker, I can see Timothee walking toward my locker.

“Double-A.” He says, looking at me with his usual shit-eating grin, I frown as we rarely speak in school.

“Timmy. Shouldn’t you be ducking behind something to talk to me here?” He only chuckles. Girls would kill for him to walk up to the locker and chat yet I would pay him right now to walk away from me. Only wearing a simple long sleeve shirt, jeans, and converse he is still somehow a hot commodity at school.

“Funny. Also what the hell were you watching last night. It gave me soft porn vibes but very cinematic,” He asks and I shift on the balls of my feet as his grin widens. So I decided to watch that movie 365 on Netflix which was one of the cringest things I have ever seen.

“Spying on me much?” But once again I earn a laugh before he says that I should close my curtains more often. “Maybe don’t look in my window.”

“Noted. Where’s your girls at?” He asks scanning the hall for Marina and Ivy I close my locker. Crossing my arms I look at him asking who wants to know but the smirk on his lips reappears. “The only man in your life. No, your Dad does not count. So that leaves me, you are very welcome.”

“I can assure my love. You would not be in my life even if you were the only man on the planet.” I said, watching as he places his hand over his heart feigning pain. He wastes no time in quoting Marina’s anti-bullying campaign motto, Spread the Love. “Shut up jackass.”

“Timothee,” Mackenzie says and the high pitch of her voice makes me grimace as I look away. She pulls him into a kiss that lasts a couple of seconds longer than needed. The two are the most indecisive couple I have ever seen. I’ll break it down like this, today is Wednesday. Monday they were dating, Tuesday they were not, today is a big question mark and tomorrow is still a coin toss. This does not stop Timmy from being a total whore when they are broken up. I’m pretty sure Mackenzie still does not know Timothee hooked up with Bianca. I narrow my eyes as Mackenzie looks at me as she kisses Timothee. The urge to promise her I have no interest in the mop-headed idiot is strong but instead, I just stand there.

“Hey still here,” Placing my hands in my pocket I look down at the tiles as Mackenzie pulls back.

“Gosh, (Y/n) I am so sorry. Since when were you friends with my ex-boyfriend?” She asks, smiling kindly but it is clearly fake. I have no intention of outing our lifelong friendship but I have no time to even say anything before Timothee chimes in.

“We’re not just asking for some notes. What does it matter anyway?” Timothee asks, looking at Mackenzie who gives him a doe-eyed pout. Gagging as she pulls him into another kiss.

“I know you miss me.” She says before stalking off and I cannot help but now smirk at him.

“Healthy thing you got going there,” I say but he rolls his eyes before walking down the hall away from me. The rest of the day feels uneventful, the girls and I agree to meet at my house to get ready for the party. Which translates to them already ready and helping me insisting on staying home.

#timothée chalamet fanfiction #timothee x you #timothée imagine #timothee chalamet x reader #timothée chalamet au #timothée fanfic #timothée chalamet imagine #timothée chalamet #Shelly hennig imagine #Diana silvers imagine #Daniel sharman imagine #lili reinhart imagine #camila Mendes imagine

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maveri-x · 10 months

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‎‧₊˚✧ MY COMFORT CHARACTERS ✧˚₊‧

#lena headey #rachel shelley #diana silvers #rachel weisz #kristina tonteri young #saoirse ronan #imagine me & you #the l word #booksmart #constantine #warrior nun #ammonite

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realmsdelght · 2 years

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Hey besties! To all my Stranger Things lovers out there, I posted a new Steve Harrington x oc story on wattpad called evermore if you guys are interested the story can be found here. And here is the prologue:

Strange things had always happened in Hawkins, but what's stranger than falling in love with your best friends?

Mean girl, maneater, popular girl, queen bee, those were some of the things people in Hawkins High called Billie, but she couldn't care less about what people said about her. She knew exactly who she was. Billie Mora and Steve Harrington are royalty in Hawkins. People thought they had everything popular, beautiful, rich, and they had each other, always. But in reality they were two lost teenagers who only had each other.

But mixed feelings are hard to deal with, especially a monsters from another world get thrown into the mix.

#steve harrington #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington fanfic #Steve Harrington x oc #steve harrington imagine #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things fanfic #stranger things 4 #Joe keery #diana silvers #stranger things #evermore

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notevenellastein · 1 year

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#gxglesbianlgbt #oneshot #imagine #diana silvers #lana del rey #anya taylor joy #taylor swift #wattpad #fanfic

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satoshy12 · 6 months

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Ex-Pariah Wonder

Ex-lovers Wonder Woman and Pariah Dark Crack pairing Young Pariah Dark looked like a older Danny as Phantom. (think of Gojo, TYBW Toshiro(adult)) Wonder Woman was Pariah Dark's ex-girlfriend, as he was younger 1,000 years ago, and a pretty nice hero. But that changed after he took the Crown of Fire and Ring of Rage, and well, that did go insane and started to change. From his old silver-haired look to Giant with green hair and Tyrant (think of the Ice King Adventure Time for what the Crown did to Pariah), And then centuries were gone, and she didn't think much of her ex other than that he was imprisoned last she heard. But now a cult is trying to summon him, who was still insane, to her world. + So imagine Diana as the cult trying to summon not her ex but has failed badly. As the small boy who looked like the child version of Pariah came out, with the silver hair, green eyes, and his smile, he had the ring of rage on his finger!! Was this Pariah`s child? He would never give away the ring or something similar. But then she saw him turn into a black-haired and blue-eyed boy that looked similiar to her. Did he, while crazy, create the boy? I mean they talked about children and had the clay. But first, take away the ring; she saw what it did to Pariah firsthand. + Danny had been on the run since he stole the ring from Vlad. And I was now in this new place; it was pretty cool to see other heroes. He would find a good place to throw this ring, like the Observants and Clockwork wanted from him. How hard will it be to find a black hole when you have alien heroes here that can help him find one? Vlad would never find it!

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babyflorencee · 4 months

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Jealousy

Gilbert Blythe x fem!Reader

The sun dipped below the rolling hills of Avonlea, casting an amber glow across the landscape. Gilbert Blythe, with his characteristic disheveled hair and thoughtful gaze, strolled through the orchard, a place that had witnessed the blossoming of friendships and the unveiling of tangled emotions.

Avonlea was abuzz with preparations for the upcoming fair, a festivity Y/n L/n held dear in her heart. As Gilbert walked past the vibrant stalls and fluttering banners, he couldn't help but notice the vivacity in Y/n's step, her eyes sparkling with an enthusiasm that painted the world in hues of her imagination.

Yet, beneath Gilbert's calm exterior, a storm brewed. A quiet jealousy, like an unexpected visitor, had taken residence in his heart. It wasn't the kind born out of malice but rather a realization of the changing dynamics between them.

Yln, oblivious to the tempest within Gilbert, happily chatted with Cole and Diana, her laughter weaving into the summer breeze. As Gilbert observed from a distance, he couldn't shake the feeling that he was standing on the periphery of her universe.

His heart, usually steady as the Avonlea river, now raced with an unfamiliar cadence. Why did he feel this way? Gilbert grappled with the turmoil, his fingers absentmindedly tracing the edge of the fair's prize ribbon he held.

Later that day, under the canopy of stars, Gilbert found himself by the bridge, a place where moments unfolded like chapters in a story. The rhythmic sound of cicadas filled the air as Y/n approached, her gaze alighting upon Gilbert's contemplative silhouette.

"Hey, Gil. Are you alright?" Y/n inquired, a glimmer of concern in her eyes.

The words struggled to find their way out of Gilbert's mouth, but the truth, as elusive as it was, demanded expression. "Y/n, do you ever feel like things are changing, and you're not sure where you fit in anymore?"

Y/ns brow furrowed, a reflection of her confusion. "Change is a constant, Gilbert. But you'll always have a place in my heart. In my world." With the last sentence that left her mouth, her eyes softened, feeling sadness for the boy standing by her.

His heart, still entangled with vines of uncertainty, yearned for more. With a breath held in the quiet night, Gilbert spoke the words that fluttered within. "Y/n, it's not just about the changing world. It's about me, about us. It's about what we could possibly be. I can't stand on the sidelines anymore, y/n. I want to be more than a distant star in your sky."

It was a balm to Gilbert's restless heart, and yet, a lingering question remained unspoken. As they stood on the bridge, the moon casting its silver glow upon the water, the bond between them seemed to shimmer with an understanding beyond words.

Y/n's eyes widened, finally realizing the gravity of his confession. "Gilbert..."

Before she could say more, he took a step closer, his hand cupping her cheek. "I can't hold back any longer," he admitted, and in the soft glow of moonlight, he kissed her.

Their lips met, a silent promise of untold emotions and uncharted paths. The orchard witnessed the quiet culmination of a friendship blossoming into something more, as the stars overhead continued their timeless dance. In that stolen moment, Gilbert and Y/n discovered a new chapter in the story of Avonlea—a chapter written with ink that glistened with unspoken feelings.

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saint-siren · 5 months

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A World For Her Alone | Ptolemaea

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13 Chapter 14 Chapter 15

cw (chapter specific): pregnancy, childbirth, dubcon, death, the aftermath of severe abuse, slavery, derealization (?), the general ennui of noble marriage

pairing: claude x fem!reader

summary: Men! Don't they always think of "the one that got away"?

author's note: Girlfail Barbie and Catholic guilt ken or whatever the kids are saying idk.

When he returned to life again, he was haunted by a fervor to change things. He was a desperate animal caught in a trap, biting his own limb in a bid to escape. He’d languished too long in the inevitable misery that befell him again and again and again. This time, he told himself again, it would be different. He considered readying a horse to come and warn you about this thing that had overtaken him but there were obvious flaws in the plan such as; what if he saw Diana and was besotted again before he had the chance to tell you everything? Even if he succeeded what was he to say to you? What would you be able to do that you had not already attempted? How could you break this hold? What would your knowledge of his predicament mean against something that felt so primordial, something that compelled him to kill you?

What measure could be taken to change this? The last few minutes before he would have to bring himself to truly live this life, he spent at his desk, resigned to writing a missive.

For some reason, this life’s distinctions were more prominent. Firstly, it felt like reality was itself melting, sliding off its center to be remolded around him in the blink of an eye like candle wax. There were times where he forgot that his body wasn’t his own, that he identified with that darkness that puppeteered his body with grotesque ease. Things in that life had an unreal quality to them as if a fever dream he’d soon wake from. The horror of this life was softer, it was brighter, sweeter. He no longer begged for mercy, he only phased into the void that had become him deeper and deeper until he could no longer claim the pain he experienced as his own. He fell in love with Diana again, everything was wrong but he gave himself to the faltering, glitching reality that provided his distraction.

Had he only imagined it or had you become close with your sister in this life? It was unthinkable to him that you would, remembering all the pain she had caused you, still seem to love and look after her. It was a gesture that horrified him, the depths of your magnanimity, your forgiveness were hard for him to handle. Where was the rage you were due? Where was the lady he’d known before? Where had that livid and mournful glint in your eyes, like the silver pommel of the kitchen knife he’d nearly stabbed you with, that had appeared the life after your daughter had been born? Its sudden disappearance was an omen, he was convinced. Now, your eyes were soft as a saint’s, it was a sweet look of righteous suffering. Yours was the look of a martyr.

He was too late to save you, that look told him as much. You were a woman going to into the flame, worn and deprived of her fight; of the vicious urge for retribution. You were the dregs of a woman, bent to the shape of the realities you’d inhabited. Bent partial to Diana. This peace between sisters had come at a cost he would only live to know in your next life.

You tutored Diana, persistently, pushing her to learn more always. You two spent a great deal at each other’s sides and Claude was aware that even though in previous lives, you’d suffered criticism for not being close enough with your sister; now you were seen as an overbearing older sister pushing her poor, helpless little sister to always do more. He could not really grasp at reality strong enough to muster more outrage at the world which now seemed to be a mindless chorus, for their hypocrisy. Curiously, though, his greater self was pleased at your conduct and ignored the slanderous chatter. The darkness was sated by your concern for your sister and it thanked you by not making efforts to exclude you, he was still flirting with Diana quite openly, to be sure, but it was much less careless. It felt more as if the two of them were not hiding, not rebelliously defying, but expressing themselves easily before you, knowing that your bite had gone soft, your eyes like that of the rest of their world; understanding how important Diana was.

As the date of your wedding approached, something bad was going to happen. He felt it or perhaps he heard it whispered in the static of a reality which was falling down on top of him all the time. It sat in the pit of his stomach, an anxious ache that never soothed, a wound he could feel festering even when the rush of love for Diana flooded his careworn mind.

Days before your wedding, he was informed that you’d run away. A strange sort of grief did come over him by way of his false heart, his greater self almost seemed to mourn you. To him, and the distinction between his two selves in that moment had never been clearer, it felt as though you’d betrayed him. You’d made him care for you, if only in the slightest and most shallow way possible and then you vanished. You promised to marry him, to make a good wife to him, marchioness to his people and mother to his children. You smiled in his face each time you met and spoke to him with clear affection but you abandoned the future the two of you had painstakingly prepared with years of effort. Like he was nothing. Like the unspoken understanding, the ease that had been built was nothing at all. It disoriented this vast, arrogant creature, it felt to this monstrous part of him like trickery, like deprivation.

His true self knew that this was not the bad thing he’d anticipated. If it were, the seed of anxiety planted in his mind would have finally given way to the deeper misery he knew was to follow and set him free of his fearful, agonizing waiting. But he was still wound tightly, still waiting for the other shoe to drop. You running away from him was not the bad thing; what fate would make you pay for it, was. He had seen this part before, he knew it ended in blood. So he hoped, at least, you got to run quite far before it did. Before reality closed around its status quo again.

Out of obligation and the longtime investment made from his family to yours, he needed to marry a lady of your house. Since you were gone, it fell to Diana to fulfill this duty. This life, Diana had been educated suitably enough to be a marchioness, for theirs not to be an ill-fated marriage for the territory. Claude realized that this must have been by design, it was your insistent effort that led to her being educated so efficiently. He’d heard talk of you seeming to bully her with how much you pushed her to learn. This was your design. You had always planned to run and leave the two of them to what the fates clearly wanted to happen. Although it was an ache in his chest that you were gone, the more pressing feeling was a forlorn emptiness at the fact that he knew how it would end and he could do nothing to stop it.

On the day he married Diana, it was bright and cloudless, surely indicative of the sort of marriage he was to have with her. Her cheeks were flushed with the enduring surprise of being able to marry him but also with surpassing happiness. But did he only hallucinate a crow flying swiftly across the pale morning sky, casting a shadow on them briefly? He could not know. He retained little of his wedding to Diana. After all, it was a frightening thing, this end. This thing he’d been fighting for so long had caught up to him, it had won, or it would in time. It felt like he was further trapped in a labyrinth where before he could at least the see the sky above, now he was completely hidden in the belly of the beast with no end in sight. Everything was Diana. Everything always would be.

The defiling of his will and dignity would be ritual, it would dutiful and nightly. It would loving and soft. It would give him the very precious heirs his people counted on him to provide. It would make a mother of Diana, something she had so desperately wanted as he recalled. In time, he was sure to soften to the ordeal, his despair would only be monotonous, dull, unable to rip open any wounds due to the scar tissue of all his lives prior. This was marriage, he kept telling himself. This was marriage.

Even so, a peculiar thing did happen: Claude had a group of his knights search for you for as long as fiscally reasonable. For two years, he had his knights span out following possible traces of your existence. It was not his own will, his own words that left his mouth but it was so different from everything this thing that puppeteered him had done before. It had showed you sparse concern even when it was in regards to his heir, the thing that should have come before anything. But now, he found that he demanded his knights search for your whereabouts with ease long after your family gave up the pretense. He did so not out of a fervent desire for revenge, the fury of one who had been robbed of something, it was done out of a sort of grief. A sort of desperation to hold to a woman who disappeared into thin air, to reach through the distance and claim the answers you denied.

Claude’s marriage to Diana in the meantime, was not as he imagined the fates would have it be. Of course there was love and affection, of course there was even a constructed desire within him and of course he suffered it inwardly. But there was something that haunted both of them too, a ghost slipped between them always. A ghost who functioned like a scary story for children, whose name being spoken accidentally was just enough to breathe life back into her, just enough to allow her to haunt them. At first, Diana told him that perhaps you had someone you ran away to be with and even his body in the cold hands of his greater self, rejected the notion. He wondered what could ever have given her such an idea, that a woman so meek and truly devoted would have been having an affair. Even that time you left with your knight he didn’t truly believe there was anything between you, it was a desperate measure to escape just like this time. He almost seemed to recoil from her when she spoke of it, it was nothing more than a subtle shift in the air, in his expression but for the first time, Diana seemed to have noticed it even if she did not acknowledge it with words. The message was clear from his expression, the change in tone and the sudden tepidness between them; your escape was to be a sore subject.

It changed the dynamic between them a bit but being married had also done that well enough. Diana was a marchioness who had a certain countenance to keep up, work to do and places to go. She was no longer the vulnerable, tender, helplessly ill girl who begged him to be her reason for continuing on. She now had purpose of her own. None of this displeased his greater self too severely but it did change things between them. No longer were they truly knight and princess. They lived in the real world now as Marquis and Marchioness. It was not like it was with you but it was…changed. A sense of duty settled within her, he got the feeling. She walked with her head higher, her emotions that were once vibrant and expressive on her face were dimmed to a polite mask of a half smile. It was bizarre to see her so grown up.

The ritual degrading practice of lovingly bedding the wife who shouldn’t have been his, seemed to have an odd effect on him this time around. Where before he was able to separate himself, he felt this time he fell deeper into the reality of his situation the longer he was married to Diana. Each time he lay back onto the bed, skin tacky with both their sweat, he was able to physically feel the horror that came with the long line of years that would stretch out between them. Each time he returned to reality enough to feel the result of having just been inside her, he was hit with dread as if time could never dull it. Where before he could only consider the implications of the freshly committed betrayal of you and of his own mind, now he could see a greater picture being painted. This was to be his life from then on, laying back onto his side of the bed with a relieved sigh and cuddling her close speaking of children to be born. While inside, he ceaselessly clawed at the walls, a mad prisoner no longer considering freedom an option, desiring death.

And in those moments, he also thought of you. He thought of where you’d gone. A long time had passed and a long time would pass before you’d see him again. He wondered whether you were living happily somewhere, could it be? Could it really not be that you were somewhere happily living even if just until the blade swinging deftly above your head finally fell? He was the most desperate of men and he imagined it as if a fairytale, a lullaby to take him into a fitful sleep before he would wake and live a life circling around the very tarnishment of both your souls.

At some point he had slipped somewhere. His manner with Diana, although loving to be sure, was whetted to a slight sharpness. It was a strange nuance that he had only realized after years of marriage passed by with him gone inward to your memory. A chill had come to the marquisate that no fire would warm. It started in a small way, in your name slipping out every so often when he spoke of Diana whilst she was not in his presence. It was forgivable, no one spoke ill. But…it progressed to thoughts of you that were shared with his greater mind. A peculiar thing that shook him free of the derealization that came with this sort of monotony in misery. He realized that his thoughts came in one stream, instead of parallel and distinctive. He realized that above his own heart aching, the one that beat for Diana stung for…for something he had once and now could have no more.

Diana seemed to know. Your ghost was no longer benign, you were an active member of the household. Everyday, at some point as he and Diana spoke, he got the sense that she wanted to broach a topic but couldn’t, out of some fear that even speaking of it would harden it to truth. Some insecurity she desperately wanted him to soothe was instead locked away, tamed in fear that it could only be confirmed. It was as if mentioning you at all was a taboo. Claude parsed the difference between this Diana and the ones who came before when he was about the enter the library but heard voices.

“Madame, is it really okay to leave things like this?,” sounded the voice of one of Diana’s servants. The woman had a habit of forming such inappropriate bonds, the two became friends when Diana entered the marquisate as its new mistress. She would have known such a friendship would be unseemly but even so, it was hard for a woman such as Diana to live as a marchioness, beneath a mask as all noblewomen did, without someone she needn’t bother using it with. Claude had not been able to deny her that much.

Claude had paused in the hall when he heard the voice of Diana. He knew why he’d done so, for once, his minds were in tentative agreement. He had come there to think, to be alone with your memory. That day was the anniversary of your disappearance and he wanted to ask the definitive question again and again, until he could put it to rest for the next time. Diana could not be there for his mourning, he did not want her there, more than that. His still heart did love Diana very much, such had not changed, but this time, you were not so easily forgotten. A stain on his heart that should not be there…he knew his wife would see it in his demeanor, his brooding expression and no matter how many times she’d tried to ignore the poignance of the date, it always revealed itself to be stark and imposing.

Diana replied to the servant in a rather genuine tone, “He is a wonderful husband. He has done nothing worthy of reproach.”

Something kept him listening, he could not parse what because his greater self was too busy considering the words that had been, were being and would be spoken between the two women.

“It is…unseemly, for a married man to cling so much to a memory.” The maid sounded as if she wanted to use a word more derogatory than just “unseemly,”

“It cannot be helped,” Diana sighed. “She was his fiancee for much of his life, of course he is still devastated, compared to how long they’ve known each other, the wound is still fresh.”

“Even so, he has you, Madame. Why does he sulk and think of a woman who left him, ran out on him days before their wedding when he has a woman who has loved him faithfully?”

“Don’t ever speak that way, Maude. She is my sister, she is not some random noble you can insult carelessly,” Diana said, with as much sharpness as her voice could carry. “In any case…it is not so simple.”

“Forgive me for speaking out of turn but I fail to understand why it is not simple.”

“It cannot be simple. He is grieving. He and I wed so soon after, before he was able to gather his bearings, even. He may love me more than he ever loved my sister but it is still a loss of something I cannot replace. Who I am as his wife is entwined with that grief as a matter of course, it is simply the star our marriage fell under.”

“Have you ever considered confronting the lord, Madame? Forgive me again for saying so, but I just…after what you found, I don’t believe this is as it seems.”

He could hear the weak smile in Diana’s voice, the suddenly infused lightheartedness. “Oh, I could never do that. Then he’d known I was poking my nose where I shouldn’t have been and even so, I still don’t completely understand what it could mean. Whether a confession or something else, I don’t understand what his intentions were. I…I’m comfortable with never understanding if it means I never have the chance of finding a more unsettling thought beneath.”

“Madame…,” The maid’s voice sounded helpless and full of pity which struck an odd chord within him. A hatefulness unearned, small and weak to be sure but definitely present. At the same time, his heart sunk. He knew all at once exactly what she’d found, what gave her this wariness aside from his small actions. A fractured piece of reality appeared again as if it had never been missing, with the seamlessness of a dream. The letter…it seemed worlds away, it genuinely shocked him to hear what he thought was a reference to it. It hit him as if he’d heard her casually mention she’d been killed a few times over. And there was that pinprick of anger toward her for even knowing about such a thing, from both parts of him for different reasons. For telling her maid and garnering pity that should by rights go to the lost sister whose family had not even looked for her for longer than a month. In his greater self’s mind, for tainting the relief he was capable of feeling when he looked to her even more than it already had been with this. He could not even remember what he’d said but he knew it was something she should not know, it felt so viscerally wrong for her to have read words meant for your eyes. And undoubtedly, though he knew not what words he wrote, he cursed his love her in some manner.

But he took a deep breath and walked away before she could find him eavesdropping and bring it up to him. Something had….changed, he felt. Irreparably so. There was a certain synchrony between his two selves in a way there had never been before and something between he and Diana had shifted because of it. More noticeably this time, there was distance.

Diana found that she was pregnant with their first child soon after and there was as much apprehension in him as there was joy. Reality glitched all the time for him during the pregnancy, memories of you, of her, of previous lives intruded on his senses. Something about her being with child frightened him. His vision was often intercut with visions of the past, of your body, slowly seeping blood and still warm while the wails of your daughter fell on deaf ears. He heard Diana’s anguished crying, giving birth to a son who wasn’t certain to live. This foreboding and regret did not extend to his greater self who found other reasons to feel a note of fear at the thought of having a child with Diana. There was a desperation in that part of him, to make things right again, to make them what they’d been before when they were only illicit, courtly lovers. And even still, he knew it would not be. He could pray as much as he liked, he knew that for however loved and wanting this child would be, he would still be reminded of a future he’d lost with you.

Why was he still so concerned about you when you were not the woman he loved? He could not shut the door on your memory not matter how much he wanted to. Was it as Diana said? Was it because he’d known you so longer? He couldn’t think so. It was not like him to be sentimental because of time. Perhaps, he thought, it could be because of how you behaved in the year before you ran away. You treated Diana with a special kindness, you turned a blind eye to the obvious love between them and you ran away just short of your own wedding knowing that she’d…she’d had to marry him in your stead…You had done it on purpose. You had primed her to wed him, you knew what they had and you made it possible by abandoning your whole life. That revelation filled him with some unknown mixture of feelings that he could not stand. It was always to be a thorn in his heart, he would always remember who he owed this life to. And how could he be happy with that as he should be? How could he be happy not knowing why you allowed it to be and where you had gone now? How could you grant such an act of selflessness and disappear? You clearly didn’t want to be found. Why?

The more he thought of you, the more ennui he felt with his life with Diana. Their marriage was haunted by the shadow of your sacrifice. The day his child was born, a daughter, it was a night just like the one where your parents informed him you’d run away. Again his apprehension surpassed his joy when Diana went into labor, he’d paced anxiously outside in the hall listening to her sounds of pain while he looked out the window at the moon which hung in the sky like a being in its own right, watching him apathetically. He tried to get your memory out of his system before his daughter came into the world. He just…he just wished for that moment to be theirs alone. When their daughter was born, healthy and crying loudly from the terrible newness of the world, Diana held her to her chest, crying soft tears of her own at the newness of motherhood. Although his happiness was great, it was edged in something that could not be ignored, something which he felt tainted the moment in some way. He thought again on the night you disappeared and again asked himself where you could be, what you could be doing, did you have children of your own now? Somehow, he hoped you did. It would hurt him badly to know you had children with another man, love or no love between he and you, but he still wanted you to have that much. But that wasn’t the thought that truly cemented the fact that he and Diana would never have a moment that belonged to them again. It was actually the fact that when he first set eyes on his daughter, he looked for your face in hers.

He was glad Diana had been looking down at their daughter at that moment, perhaps if she’d looked up just then, she’d have caught a glimpse of that yearning in his eyes. He cried and thanked her for giving him a child, making him a father and it was genuine gratitude but the tears, the tears were for what was lost and what was left of you which endured. And inside, he dwelled in anguish because what remained of his true self was further broken, disillusioned by the fact that this child that he so pitifully wanted to avoid, had been born. She would live, her name written in his family registry, raised with careful hands and more love than most. She would live well and your child, he one who knew she’d lost you and had the only sensible reaction to it, her name was yet unknown.

As the years passed, Claude and Diana settled into life as parents. He realized that what Diana expected of him as a father simply didn’t come naturally, he was not an overtly affectionate person in general for anyone but Diana. This did not compute to her, and of course it didn’t, with her having your parents excessive favor and then with the underlying hair thin cracks in their marriage. She required his gestures to be grander, she required more assurance of his love. So, he got more comfortable with it for her sake, he made his affection more theatrical for her, though it felt more like wearing a different mask more than it felt like actually changing who he was. He didn’t exactly know how to be a father, his own wasn’t much of an example, he felt awkward and clumsy with it on his own but he knew how to emulate with the best of them. As was necessary for life as an aristocrat. This had the inadvertent effect of raising his daughter feeling less personal, less of a bond. It felt more like everything else in his life as a nobleman did, false and procedural. And there was the fact that both his selves were reminded of you when they looked at her, inevitably, even if only for a split second each time. One side reminded of what once was and one side reminded of what could have been.

Luckily, the child was much like her mother and did not comprehend the difference. She was young yet, and still he feared she would not go to him, that she’d cry and fuss in his arms, rejecting him instinctively. Sometimes, Claude felt worried that one day when she was older, she’d look to him for comfort, so he would put forth his best image but she’d see something in him that would tell her how false he was. But it never happened, the child slept easy in his arms and though Diana pouted a bit, she was amused her daughter was a daddy’s girl just as she was. Everything was alright, especially compared to some very frigid noble marriages he’d hear gossip about before. It seemed that the two of them had reached a mutual, unspoken agreement. They’d never talk about what they lacked, they’d take consolation in what they had managed to keep even if it wasn’t what it used to be.

They went on like that. The time passed quickly, reality seemed to melt, not with hard glitches but the lines blurred together. It got to the point where he felt that the date of your disappearance was not years past but minutes ago. He felt as though he were in the night trailing after you, shouting your name just as much as he felt like an ordinary father with the wife he coveted for so long. His body vibrated with a dull hum and at night when he laid beside Diana to sleep, lights flashed beneath his eyelids as if a candle were lit before him. He would come home and hold his daughter in his arms and still feel as though his breath would come out in a puff from the cold, feel as though something had only just been taken. Every so often the child he held felt foreign to him. He could not even recognize which side of him the feeling belonged to, he was not sure it mattered now. Perhaps this was the real end. Maybe you’d gotten away happily and it was his punishment this time to never feel what he should even when he had what he wanted. He could accept that much, he thought with more peace than he deserved in the delusion.

Of course it was when he accepted the idea of living without you that he came back. A messenger was sent, hesitant to relay the information that Felix and a few of his comrades had been tracking your whereabouts independently from the orders of your parents. You’d been found, barely alive, trapped in an establishment of very ill repute, worked as a slave.

This news was enough to devastate and selfishly relieve him. You were alive. You had been worked nearly to death. You were supposed to have lived well enough, perhaps a simple, rustic life as a merchant’s wife with children born of love always at your skirts. “Will she live?” His voice broke.

The messenger shook his head. “We don’t know, my lord. We only know that the count and countess are receiving her soon.”

Claude almost didn’t bother telling Diana, rushing to find a servant to have a horse prepared so that he could ride there and see you for himself. Until he was met with Diana who entered the room, seeing her family’s sigil on the sleeve of the messenger and he had to tell her. Yes, that was right…It was Diana who’d lost more than he had when you left. Of course it was necessary to tell her first. Somehow, it disappointed him to not be able to see you alone. To know that inevitably, Diana would want to see you and she’d bring along their daughter whom she couldn’t be without. All manner of frenzied feelings were passing through his greater self but prominently, there was a distinct, selfish desire to see you again. A thought that perhaps it would fix everything that has been wrong with him since you ran away. And concurrently ran the sharp anguish of his inner self which had awakened from its comfortable misery. Again in this life, you had suffered for his sake. He could not seem to stop stealing your life again and again and again. What had been done to you? What had you suffered while he raised a child that wasn’t yours? Deprived of your status and kept as a slave; oh, the image his mind had painted from what he knew of such things from his knighthood was a grotesque one. You, who had already been stripped of everything several times over, deprived even of the safety in your noble status. The only thing that made being born to such a family as yours, tied to such a fate as his more bearable, that you’d not be subject to all the cruelties of the world, only the ones he could inflict.

Diana’s eyes grew large and clouded over as he told her what news had arrived. He stiffened at this, hypocritically suspicious of her concern. He felt a pinprick of annoyance at her, remembering now, the time she’d suggested you’d have been the type to run away with a lover. He felt the briefest urge to shame her, he hoped for a second that she’d remember it too as he had and be ashamed. It faded quickly and it stung but he couldn’t be bothered to scold himself for it. The more important issue at hand was your life. Diana spluttered, “My sister has been found? Where is she now?” She, perhaps not the most dutiful sister, did show at least this much love for you. In her eyes, he could see the resolve to see you again despite a slight troubled look in them. She was ready to go wherever you had. Claude’s careworn, lovesick heart softened some and instead of answering her, he simply called out to a passing servant to ready the carriage, for they were going to the manor of his in-laws right away.

Diana woke up their daughter from her nap and the three of them made their way your parents’ manor where they awaited your return after so many years. Your parents tried to take pains to greet him formally, to reach for their grandchild but he waved them off rudely. “Where is she?”

Your mother flinched, pulling away, embarrassed to have been snubbed so brashly by him. “She’s being brought here by the knights, they’ve not yet arrived but they should return shortly.”

Diana’s brow furrowed at her mother’s disposition. Something about the situation had apparently unsettled her but she said nothing in regards to it. Claude had the urge to tell her, “Look closely at the woman you know to be your mother, does she look worried at all about your sister? Look at your father, too. Does he seem as you imagine we would if we located the dying body of our daughter after she’d been missing nearly a decade?” He wanted her to see them as they were even if it were too late for it to matter. He wanted her to see who favored her, what sort of people loved her, a wretched murderer, a philanderer, a careless woman. He wanted her to wonder what it said about her that she’d be loved by them.

You arrived shortly as your parents probably prayed so that they’d not have to deal with more questions and the suspicious look in their only true daughter’s eyes, the disillusionment. Felix brought you up your old bedroom, he’d gone up to have the servants ready it for your arrival, overseeing their work anxiously to make sure it was made comfortable enough for a woman of an unknown level of severe illness and injury. Diana had wanted to follow him up to help but he’d, gently as he was capable of in such a situation, had her wait downstairs under some thin guise in relation to their daughter. He’d not wanted to be around them then, as the time grew nearer to seeing you again.

When Felix brought you upstairs, he stood at attention from the corner where he sat anxiously looking about your room. You had large bruises up and down your body, you were filthy with blood caked under your nails and on the side of your head clinging to brittle hair, you were bandaged here and there in haste. He made a small sound of anguish and surprise, for it was one thing to be told you were near death, another thing to see it, smell it, feel it radiate off of your body. You were decaying even as you drew breath. Felix’s gaze lifted to Claude unabashedly hateful for a moment as he realized he was in the room but quickly flickered back down to you. Claude pulled back the covers on the bed for Felix to set you down and called for the doctor in a voice that betrayed a stifled sob.

The doctor did as he could for you under the somber watch of Claude but even so, you remained unconscious. He didn’t leave your side, praying for you to open your eyes at least, even if just briefly. Even if just to damn him. Even if you were doomed as the doctor seemed to believe. He’d said you were almost certain to die, that it was a matter of making you comfortable, an offense which had gotten him a verbal lashing from Claude even though he knew it was most likely the truth. Diana hesitated to bring their daughter up the room, knowing your body’s fragile condition and the very apparent air of death that surrounded had already frightened her, she came to see you later when she put their daughter down.

She loomed over your body, trying to find somewhere to touch you, to let you know she was here with you but everywhere was marred and she drew her hand back with a horrified look from seeing you up close, teary eyed. A strange marriage of anger, pity and love did come over him when he saw that. He wanted her to leave him be with you, he wanted to condemn her for even wanting to see you when the reason you were dying was because you made a sacrifice for your sake. But how could he? They were both guilty of the same sin, same measure. Their union was only made possible through their selfish brandishing of their love so how could he turn his back on her so belatedly? How could he deny her for this when he’d been the one to gain the most from their union? For shame or for pride, she was his wife. They were too closely entwined for him to become a hypocrite just now. Though, that hardly meant he wanted to see her healthy, well and with their child while the woman who was deprived of everything lay dying.

He sent Diana from the room, again under the guise of their daughter, “assuring” her that he’d stay at your side all night. Diana’s expression shifted slightly, revealing a hint of the girl she used to be, unpolished and genuine, unable to help showing all her emotions on her face. She looked…wounded but he must have looked very devastated because when he turned to face her fully, her expression slackened slightly and she did not argue. She only sighed and said, “I hope you won’t make yourself ill doing that. I’ll be in my old room, send for me straight away if you feel tired or unwell at all. I love you.” She said her ‘I love you’ like a plea, like she was near begging for his reassurance again. But Claude was simply not in the frame of mind to be declaring his love her even as it still ruled him. He simply nodded at her and looked back at you. Diana stayed still for a few seconds, he felt her eyes on him, felt that he’d hurt her in his denial. Then, she left the room swiftly.

A day later, his whole body hurt, he had not slept and his mind had gone numb. He could no longer consider very much of the future, he waded through the past. “I wonder…” he began in a tone loud enough to hear through the door. “Are you still out there?”

Felix entered the room. He’d been guarding your door since you returned home. He had not left or giving up the task to another knight for long enough to sleep. He had stood there obstinately without saying a word as if he’d never stopped being your knight. “You called for me, My Lord?” His voice was flat and very hardly concealing a certain amount of disdain.

“You searched for my- for the lady independently, if I understand correctly.”

“Indeed,” Felix answered simply.

“Diana and I owe you our gratitude for doing so, for not giving up on her so easily.”

“Oh, I could not abide you being in debt to me, Lord Claude. All that I did, I did for the lady’s sake alone.” A clear message in that, Claude’s lips almost curled into a bitter smile.

“Very good. You may rest now, the lady is in no further danger.”

“I’m afraid I would hardly be a knight if I were only devoted to looking after her when I felt there were further dangers imminent, My Lord.”

“What is it that you’re concerned about? I am at her side, a knight in my own right. I will not leave her.”

Felix only smiled, a hateful, spiteful smile. “Nor will I, My Lord. I hope you understand.”

Oh, Claude understood. Both the voices inside did, in their own manner. An odd similarity had struck between them, as close as they ever had been to being as one. “Very well,” He sighed, unduly frustrated. “You may return.” He did not even know why he’d desired for Felix to leave so much. Was it that he wanted, even if only once, to be the man who put himself aside for you? Was it that Felix’s very existence condemned his own, with his above dutiful knightly devotion to you contrasting the easy manner in which Claude had been willing to trade you for Diana? He felt guilt when he heard that it was Felix who’d found you, who’d never stopped looking and then an ounce of envy. He knew it was arrogant but if there was nothing else he could do to make up for what had been done, he wanted to be the one who rescued you.

It was a bitter pill to swallow, realizing there was no grand redemption for what had been done just as there was nothing that could ever fill the hole of your absence. He had left you to die as he wed the love of his life and made a very beloved child with her. He had taken your sacrifice into his hands easily and enjoyed a peaceful life because of it without even being able to imagine that you’d never get the same. His obliviousness to how you must have been seeing he and Diana, pushed you into thinking you needed to sacrifice for their sakes or else simply needed to escape a marriage to a man who loved your little sister. You were responsible for all that he had now. And what would he do if you never again opened your eyes? What would he do if you went to your grave thinking you meant so little to him that he’d not even done the smallest thing for you?

Fortunately, your condition had gotten slightly better by the next evening. You had brief bouts of consciousness after a long stretch of unresponsiveness. You had a fever and the doctor was doing all he could with his remedies to break it but it didn’t seem to be working. There was only so much that could be done with your body in such a condition. There was hardly anything that could be administered to you to rid you of any pain though the doctor mentioned there was a chance you weren’t feeling anything at all for you did not attempt to speak when you woke and slipped quite easily back out of consciousness. A prospect which was morbidly comforting. If you were to die, all the better for you to do so peacefully. But because the chance that you were indeed suffering from the high fever wreaking havoc on your body, he gently laid a cool cloth against your forehead.

Seconds later, your eyes opened, slowly blinking as your lips parted in an attempt to take air into your lungs more easily. He pulled his hand away as soon as he saw your eyes open, as if he’d been caught doing something unseemly. Your chest rose and fell rapidly as you returned to consciousness, your eyes bleary and hollow. You gazed at him as if seeing past him, as if seeing the figments of him that had failed you before. The cowardly part of him that lay hidden behind worthless flesh wanted simply to tell you that…well, he didn’t actually know what he should say if he were given the chance. At one time, he imagined he’d tell you he loved you but what use was his love to you anymore? In every life he had loved and in every life someone bled for it. What comfort could it possibly bring? As much comfort as a curse which grows into you with time. The constance of misfortune and the certainty that it would become both of you, that was his love.

It hardly mattered what he wanted to say anyway. His was not the voice that left his lips, it was mimicry from a force that had grown oddly similar to him in this life. “I remember the day they told me you’d run away…all this time, I have thought of that day.” He did not flinch at the words that came from his lips, for once; the fever had probably made you too delirious to understand him.

“Every moment I had to myself, I asked why you left. Diana told me you probably had somebody. But somehow I didn’t believe that, to my perspective, you really weren’t like that. So why? Why did you leave and why did I look for you even after…” He paused, finding himself so overly emotional talking to a woman that couldn’t even hear him, who was probably in a waking dream more than in her old bedroom with her old fiancé. He must be a stranger to her now. So why was he pouring out the things he would not even confess to his wife as if you were responsible? As if you could answer to the melancholy he already knew very well the source of. His two selves still had the obvious rift between them even as his greater self morphed more into a pale approximation of what his true self used to be. They were two jagged shards of a vase knocked from your dining table. This unearthly force that had taken him over, which had control over him still, was a creature yet unknown to him. He would do well to remember that much.

“Even now I am denied the reason why.” Even so, he had spent too many lives with the greater voice inside that ran thousands of thoughts through his very being not to feel as though he understood something about it when it spoke through him then. “When I should have rejoiced, when I should have been glad, always, always, it was you, like an ghost in my periphery.”

“Now you’re back and it feels like the end,” He spoke the words prophetically, it was the end. You were dipping back into unconsciousness again. “This isn’t the way I’m supposed to feel,” He said, tucking your blanket up to your chin, sending you off for what he felt would be the final time. He felt it, he knew it. His chest welled up with that feeling again, the dread he felt the day you’d run away. This time, he wondered what would happen if he stayed here in the version of reality he’d grown accustomed to. Would it free you if he stayed in the version of the world which had what the greater self sought to carry out? If he gave in to a will greater than his own?

At some point during the night, your fever broke and when it did, he found himself freed. His body delivered back to him at a very strange point this time. Never had there been a moment where you’d been alive that he’d also been able to speak freely. It felt like an anomaly, a shared fever dream or the view of earth from his first life the day before he met Diana. In any case, he didn’t feel very much about his own autonomy being returned to him, time enough to consider it later and the rest of his life to mourn. That morning, all he wanted to do was stay at your side, as himself through and through. He knew you were not on the same earthly plane as he was anymore even if you were not yet dead. You would not hear what he’d say, nor see what he’d do or feel his presence. Even so, he took your hand in his and he spoke.

“I have loved you for each and every one of our lives. I am sorry,” He drew in a breath. “Don’t forgive me. I will always be sorry. I am sorry for whatever this is, this part of myself so sharply cleaved out of me every time that I cannot stop killing you. I know it means nothing but I have never spoken it and I must. If this is not the real end, in our next life, kill me yourself. It must end. It must end with my blood, how long can we– how long can we suffer this way? There must be something, there must be something…” His speech, intended to be cathartic in some way, broke off and descended into inarticulate blubbering, his tears dripping onto your hand. He could speak no more then. Could stand the sound of his voice begging the empty air no longer.

He stayed at your side until the very end. Until he could no longer feel your pulse, the beats of your heart slow and faint. He could swear he felt the moment of your death as deeply as he felt the reach of this primordial thing that seemed to take more of him than he could have imagined there was with each life.

tags: @kage-tobiuo@kreishin @rosephantomhive@yeahdrarry@splaterparty0-0 @dear-dairiesss @qluvrv @hafsuhhh @eissaaaa @ayolk @doan-19 @fourcefulcupid@ariachaos@cerisearan@irisspade@yaesflorist@jcrml@xiaosprettygf@yevenly@amaris08atoshi012022 @obsessed-with-a-fictional-man @softbummiee@cassanderasblog @waka-babe @bananatwirl@s1mp69 @mitsuyamistress @hottiewifeyyyy @reiko69 @syyyy4ever @pinkpastel-l @dododododooosworld @gwyneveire @mvoonxlightv @noisyenthusiastface @gwyneveire

#claude x reader #wmmap x reader #claude de alger x reader #claude de alger obelia x reader

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lady-mimis · 4 months

Text

ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS YOU - SUPERMAN

Summary: Where Diana youngest sister is supposed to make a Christmas list but all she wants for Christmas is Clark Kent

English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes that might be on the text

Notes: I wanted to make a fluffy imagine for the holiday so I hope you all enjoy it. Merry Christmas guys!

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"Hey (Y/N), What are you doing? You've been staring at that notebook for hours" Flash asked with a curious look, stopping his chat with Green Lantern.

The truth was that you'd spent the whole evening thinking about what you wanted for Christmas, but you couldn't think of any present you desired. To be honest, you don't even know what Christmas is

"Hm... my sister and Bruce told me to make my Christmas list but I can't think of anything. I don't need anything, I'm content with my stuff" You point to the empty notebook in your hands

"Wow, I wish I could have your resignation, (Y/N)!" Green Lantern joked, admired with your words

"Well, that's not a problem, we can help you!" Wally and Hal sat closer to you

"What do you think about a new perfume? Wally suggested. You denied shaking your head

"New clothes?" Hal suggested it with a thinking look

"I already have a wardrobe with many of them" You pouted, feeling a little frustrated

"Do you like puppies?" Hal suggested excitedly

"Do you mean dog spawns? Yes, it's cute!" You smiled, remembering how cute those creatures are

"Put it on your list then!"

"I don't know if I should have one of them tough" You deny thinking about something else

A few times later

"C'mon (Y/N)! You just have to think of anything you desire. Santa is gonna make your wish come true" Hal groaned impatiently

"Who is Santa? Is he some kind of genie of the lamp who concedes wishes?" You ask confusedly. Hal laughed at your question

"Yeah, kind of, he's the good old man who brings the people's gifts what they asked for Christmas. It's mostly for the kids but that doesn't mean that an adult can't ask him anything" Wally laughed weakly at the crooked smile that appeared on your face

"So it doesn't need to be an object?" You asked, starting to write some words on the paper

Something I desire? That's interesting

"No, you can ask anything you want, I'm sure he will make it happen" Wally says with humor. You look at him with hope

"I'm done!" You stand up proudly

"So, what did you ask for Christmas?" Hal asked, poking your cheeks

"I write a short letter to Santa asking the only thing I desire in this world" You stated excited

"That would be?" Wally was really curious about what you wrote

You were interrupted by a call for your help in Metropolis

In a flash of eyes, you are in your silver armor and helmet on

"Sorry guys, duties call. Thank you for the help" You wave to them

You left two curious man behind

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"Thank you for the help, I really appreciate it" Superman puts a hand on your shoulders, thanking you, flashing a bright smile to you

You couldn't help but check on how handsome he is. His suit was well tailored, his kind eyes, his white teeth, his beautiful black hair. He is perfect in every sense

"Hey you're alright? Your heartbeat is very fast" Clark asked worried about your well-being

You felt flustered for being caught looking him out

"Yeah... hm. It's just the adrenaline of the mission" You stuttered, felling your cheeks pretty warm

With a big frown on his face, he nodded unconfirmed "Sure... So what you're planning to do on Christmas?" Clark asked, looking carefully at you, analyzing you

"Am I supposed to do something? Isn't Santa the one who needs to do something? To be honest, I don't even have an idea what Christmas is" You were embarrassed for not knowing those things everyone seemed to know. Everyone talks about the Christmas and you don't even know what is this

Clark explained to you that Christmas was a holiday that humans celebrate every year, for some it was the birth of their savior and for others was just a simple holiday where they would exchange gifts and be with their family and friends. It was a form of increasing bonds with your loved ones

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Clark was taken aback by your questions about Christmas, and He realized that would be your first Christmas since you came to human civilization

Everything was new for you, and you were created in a different culture, of course you would not know their costumes and traditions. You were on your own journey to discover the world

Clark admired the way you saw the world everything looked like a new discovery for you. How your eyes would shine when you see a cute animal and wanted to pet it, how you are patient and genuine with people, how you are happy for being able to help people

So he decided to make your first Christmas be a magical one

"Why have you solicited this reunion, Clark? And without (Y/N)?" Batman asked with a narrow gaze at your empty seat

"Well, she's the topic of the discussion" Clark says to all of his teammates

"You have the word now, Clark" Diana told him with a curious look but her voice was serious

"It's her first Christmas in the human world and I want to make it especial for her" Clark says confident

"I'm in! Where would it be?" Hal smirked, he did enjoy parties

"My moms house, she loves hostage Christmas parties" Clark smiles

"I'm kind of curious tough, where is my sister right now?" Diana asked, tapping her nails on the big table of the meeting room of the Watch Tower

"She's shopping with my mom" He answered with a bright white smile at the thought of you accompanying his mom. He could imagine his mom dragging you around the mall and you holding the shops bags and following behind her like a lost child

"What did you tell her? She doesn't go shopping easily" Diana had a wonder look on her face. Okay, maybe she was feeling a little jealousy of how Clark could convince you with easy

"I told her that my mom would need help with the bags, she didn't disagree or complain" Clark laughed softly of Dianas disbelief face

"What about her Christmas list?" Clark asked curiously looking at Diana who laughed softly

"She didn't make a Christmas list, she just wrote a letter to Santa" Diana smiled at how genuine and excited you were when you gave her your letter. She remembered you telling her to give your letter to Santa

"Alright, since she just asked for one thing, we can gift her with things she likes" Clark stated and everyone agrees

"You're dismissed then" Everyone got up and left the meeting room except Wonder Woman and Batman

"I suppose you will take care of her gift?" Bruce asked with a malicious look

"Yes" Clark says, looking suspiciously at Bruce

"Read!" She handed over the letter to him

Clark widens his eyes, reading your letter

"What does this mean?" Clark felt a little dumbfounded with your wish in the letter

"It means (Y/N) likes you, fool" Diana mocks of his shock face

"How can you be so oblivious? Everyone knows you like her too" Bruce scoffed, hiding his laugh

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Martha had stopped the pickup in front of the big farm house

You wore your dark purple winter clothes and a pair of black boots you borrowed from Diana

It was your first time there, you were kind of nervous, although spending the day with Martha was amazing. She's so gentle and caring, you could see how Clark was well raised by his parents

"Wow, your house is beautiful, Martha"

"Thank you, Dear. Could you take the shops out of the trunk?" Martha turned off the engine

"Yeah!" You took out the seat belt and got out of the car, When you stepped out, Clark opened the door of the big farm house

He was wearing a light gray flannel shirt and with his glasses on, he smiled at you making you flush

You turned around slowly, walking to the trunk

You grabbed all the bags in your arms, it wasn't heavy or anything but it was an amount of them. Suddenly the bags were taken from your hands. Clark was beside you, holding the bags for you

"Thank you, you didn't have to do it. It wasn't heavy, you know" You fake an angry face

"I know you're stronger but I want to help you" He stated, winking playful, walking to the home. Sometimes you forget how he is such a gentleman

You follow behind him silently, observing everything around you. It's funny how the humans houses were different from those on the island of the Amazons. The house was enormous compared with the city houses, it was cozy tough

You stopped in your tracks when you saw one of Kent's family portraits. It was a beautiful portrait. The three were sat on the couch, Clark was in the middle of Martha and her late husband, Jonathan.

"I love this picture. It was our last Christmas together" Martha hands you a hot chocolate drink, and look at the picture smiling nostalgic

"It's a beautiful picture" You took a sip of the sweet drink

You observe the many pictures of Clark in different phases of his life. He was cute in every of them

Martha starts to tell you about the stories behind those pictures

Clark appears and joins you in the conversation

"Wow, this is Clark? How cute!!" You point to one of his baby photos, he was wearing a dino pajama in the picture

"Well, I can already imagine what my grandchild will look like" Martha said looking at you two, smiling mischievously

Clark was flustered but you didn't catch the sign of his mom, you don't think he was like that because of you though

"I can't believe he has a photo with Santa" You sigh looking another picture of Clark, you guess he was about five years old. You felt kind of upset for not getting your photo with the old man at the Metropolis Center Mall

"Hm? What happened?" Clark frowned at your upset form but you refused to say anything

"She couldn't take a photo with Santa, they told her she was too old for that" Martha rubbed your back gently

"She doesn't have any photos, can you believe it?" Martha felt sorry for you. Photos were a form of record of the moments of life

After moments

Clark asked for your help to choose a tree for his mom house. Why ask you from everyone? You don't have an idea, but you accepted it just to pass more time with him

He had made a tour to show you the farm before you go

"It looks nice to grow up here" You said looking at the cute animals in the barn

"Yeah, Smallville is a great place, my favorite place in the world. Reminds me of my children hood" He smiled with passion

"It's so peaceful, I'm glad to know the place you grew up" You look into his kind eyes

"You should see the center. They really work hard on decorating the city" Clark looks at you and stays quiet for a while. His gaze upon you was warm and full of adoring

You avoided his eyes, feeling a little disconcerted with the look he gave you "Hm, we must go before the good trees are chosen" You clear your throat

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The city looked so magical at the night, with the Christmas decoration lighting the city, the snowflakes falling made everything looks more amazing. You're amazed by the beauty of Christmas. People were happily making their shops, and some groups of people sings christmas songs on the streets

The tree you and Clark chose was full and big, and you couldn't wait to decorate it

You both bought new decorations for the house and the christmas tree

"We did a great job" You two were watching the house from above. Wondered by the decoration of the house you and Clark managed to do, it had christmas decorations around all the house and the farm, making your eyes sparkle with the view

"Yeah, we did. I can't wait for tomorrow's Christmas party," You state excitedly "I don't have any idea in what to wear. I've never been at a human party before"

"I'm sure you look good in anything, just make sure to stay warm," Clark advised you, smiling gently

You blushed, putting a stand of your hair behind your ear "I will keep that in mind"

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On Christmas morning you and Diana were in front of the farm house, Martha had invited you for brunch

Clark open the door for you two, you could hear the chatter from the living room

"It looks like we are the last to arrive" Diana elbowed you humored, making you flinch slightly

She entered the house, greeting everyone and left you and Clark alone in the front house

"I'm sorry, I couldn't find my gloves, so we took long" You sheepishly apologize to Clark

"Don't worry, they just arrived a few moments ago," Clark says, being kind. "Nice clothes" He compliments your outfit

You wore a nice red winter outfit. Your outfit was a red bomb jacket with a red long neck sweater underneath it, red warm pants, red gloves and bonnet with some white details on it, and white winter boots

"Thank you, Martha bought me when we were shopping, she has a nice fashion sense" You wiped off the snow that fell on your jacket

You entered the house, and Clark helped you take your coat off. Every one of your teammates was in their civilian clothes, chatting animatedly

"Good morning, guys." You greeted them with your best smile

"Hey (Y/N)! Merry Christmas!" Wally appeared in a flash in front of you and hugged you tightly "I can't wait for you to see what I got for you" He says it so fast, making you laugh

"Merry Christmas, Wally." You told him happily

The smell of the food filled your nose, and you almost drool

"Hmm, the smell is delicious. I can't wait to eat it" You mumbled excited heading towards to the kitchen to greet Martha.

The brunch Martha served you was delicious, and for sure you were stuffed. After brunch, you all sat in the living room to open the presents

You sat in the armchair next to the fireplace, watching the fire glow and enjoying the warmness

"Now it's (Y/N) turn!" Diana called your attention

You stood up quite thrilled and sat on the floor in front of the decorated Christmas tree that you, Clark and Martha had decorated together.

"Open mine first, sister!" Diana told you with a big grin

You search underneath the Christmas tree for your sister's gift. It was a medium box with green wrapping and a golden gift bow

You open it carefully and burst a big smile. It was your favorite wine from the island and a bottle of the expensive whiskey you love. In the box had another bottle of white wine for you to try and a little box with a gold arm jewelry

"Are you trying to drunk me, sister?" You joke giggling and everyone laughs at your statement

"You know how hard it is to get this wine from the island, they sell out quickly" She had a proud smirk on her face "Thank you sister, I loved it" You searched for another gift and took the Bruce's present

You shake the box in your hands, trying to guess what is inside. You open the box with a curious look on your face. It has a professional camera and some accessories for the camera

"I hope you like it, I chose the best one for you. I can show you how to use it later." He smiles weakly but you knew it was sincere

"I really loved it, thank you very much, Bruce. We all have to take a photo together later," You state with a grateful smile on your face

You opened Martha's gift carefully. She had presented you with a beautiful red scarf that matched your clothes and a typical wool sweater with delicate details that symbolized Christmas

"Thank you, Martha, this is beautiful" You beamed and she smiled fondly "It's quite funny because I bought one of these for you too" You laughed weakly referring to the scarf, picking another present on your hand

"Now we are matching, darling." She winked to you delighted by your reaction

You opened Wally's gift and laughed loudly. Taking out the ugly green Christmas sweater, with the sweat brown pants and the accessory, you put on the reindeer headband

"I guess this is Christmas spirit? I'm feeling it. Thank you, Wally, you're the best!" You laugh happily

"You can use it as pajamas," He told you, showing you a yellow smile

You grab Arthur's present and say, "Believe me, I will" You mock him, and everyone laughs

It was a small box in a golden wrapping with a red gift bow. Inside was a simple medium gold hair comb and a gold handmade hair comb with delicate details and jewelry, it formed delicate flowers and leaves

"This is to improve your beauty even more" He comments charmingly

"Is this a fork?" Hal asked. Everyone laughed with his goofiness

"No you fool, it's a hair comb!" You are ecstatic by the beauty of the jewelry "It's handmade, am I right?" You gesture excitedly

"Yes, the best craftsman from Atlantis made it" He agreed proudly

"It's an amazing present, thank you, Arthur." You put the box aside, grabbing Hal's gift

When you opened it, you let out a confused huff. The box has two dog collars, some dog snacks, some dog toys, and other dog accessories.

"Hal, did you?" You asked with disbelief. Hal had a smirk on his face, nodding his head in answer

Clark appeared with two dog spawn dressed like Christmas reindeer. The dogs came running to you and jumped on you, licking your face. One was short and white. The other was big and black with brown spots

"You told me you like them, so why not?" He poked you, humored

"I can't believe it, thank you" You embrace him tightly

You search for Clark's gift and grab it underneath the tree, with the dogs around you smelling it and always jumping on you. You pet them gently

Clark's present was in a little red wrapping box with a white gift bow. You clumsy unwrapped the gift with the surrounding dogs, read the card, and left a shock sob when you saw what was inside the box.

"My perfume, how did you know?" Smiling, you splash some perfume in the air smelling it "I had a little help" He pets the white dog that was rubbing against his leg

"It seems he likes you" You comment, petting the black dog that sat on your lap

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"What are we doing here outside?" You run, trying to catch the dogs, but stumbled on the floor

"We gonna ride on the sled" Wally puts his arms on your shoulders

"Well, I'm sorry to tell you, but we don't have a sled" You elbow him with humor in your voice

"But I know someone who has it," He says, grinning

"Oh, who else might be?" You ask interested

"Him" Wally point to the man who was sitting in the middle of the snow. Some cute reindeer were in front of the Santa's sleigh

"Oh my, is this Santa?" You put your hands on your mouth, shocked

"Yeah, go to him" Wally pushes you in his direction

"HOHOHOHO, Are you (Y/N)?" Santa asks, resting his hands on his big belly

"Yeah, Santa, have you received my letter? I swear to you, I've been cool this year" You walk closer excitedly, analyizng the man in front of you. You sat on his lap, and you looked into his blue eyes

"I got your letter, your wish will come, true believe it" Santa Claus answered, patting your head softly

"Diana, take a photo of me and Santa, please!" You asked, and she used your new camera. You and Santa look at the camera and smiled brightly

"The photos are amazing, the image has so much quality" She told you, and she took a front photo with you and Santa. She walked off, taking photos of your friends feeding the reindeer

"Thank you, Clark. For doing this for me, it means a lot to me"

You look around, watching everyone having fun. Wally was feeding the reindeer with Bruce while Hal and Arthur run around playing with the dogs and Diana recorded everything, taking photos and recording videos

"How did you know it was me?" He was shocked that you discovered that it was him underneath the fantasy

"You're the one that wasn't here, plus I heard some kids at the mall talking that Santa didn't exist, I know it. I just wanted a photo with him" You explained "I would recognize you anywhere, Clark" You state this with a shy smile

"I just wanted to make it special for you" He said flushing and avoiding your eyes

"You're making it especial" You reassured him, holding his hands and squeezing them softly

"(Y/N), are you flirting with Santa? Stop being gross!" Wally teases you

With a fast snow ball hit you sent him flying on the snow and you started a war with him, Clark was hit and joined you against Wally, your teammates joined the childish play

The team spent the day together, playing in the snow, throwing snowballs at each other, making angels on snow, riding the Santa sleigh, feeding the reindeer, and playing with the dogs. In the afternoon, your teammates and you stopped at an open café to drink hot chocolate and eat cookies

The Christmas party was reserved for some of Martha and Clark friends and the team. The dinner was delicious, and the music playing low made everything comfortable

Clark watched from a distance, Bruce teaching you how to use your camera in front of the fireplace

"Well, I guess you didn't present her with her wish, Santa" Diana jokes, watching you carefully listen to Bruce's words

"I just don't know how to do it right" He sighs deeply, feeling unsure of what to do about his feelings for you

"You're Superman. There's nothing that you can't do." She advised him patting his back, and walked towards you and Bruce. You distanced yourself, letting the two talk

That's when he approaches you. It was now or never

"(Y/N), Can we talk?" You jolted but nod in agreement

Clark walked you to a private part of the house, on the house balcony. You could feel the cold air on your face. It was freezing, but Clark seemed untouched by the cold outside

"So what happened?" Felling unquiet, you ask, embracing your arms around you, trying to stay warm

"Here, take it!" He takes off his coat, putting it on your shoulders

"Thank you" You avoid looking into his eyes. You shift your weight, trying to hide your anxiety.

He stays quiet while just looking at you. The way your hair was slightly falling in your face makes you look more beautiful, your flushed cheeks part because of the cold and other part because of his presence. He was astonished on how your presence would always lights the room and everyone seemed to love your presence. You also were using your perfume, which he particularly adores

"This is not how I planned to confess to you, but I feel if I don't do this right now, I will never have another chance" He fixes his glasses, feeling nervous. "I really like you (Y/N), the way you are genuine, honest and brave, how you love to help people, how you are gentle with my mom and our friends, you really light the room when you walk in. I love all of you. If you give me the chance, I promise I will make you happy" His words echo through your ears like a melody

"I like you too, Clark, how can I not? You've been more than amazing with me, nobody ever did what you did for me. Thank you for making my Christmas so special and magical. For always being there for me when I needed" You are thankful for having him since you joined the team. He has been so supportive and wonderful to you

You two stare at each other, enjoying comfortable silence and the cold breeze hitting your faces

He scratched his throat "(Y/N).. I have another gift for you" The way he said your name makes you feel goosebumps

"I don't have another gift for you, I'm sorry" You give him an apologetic look

"My present is standing right here" He gives his classic white teeth, looking with passion at you

He took out of his pocket a little box, it had a beautiful gold neckless and a pair of earrings. It was simple but beautiful anyway "For my very own Christmas love." His confession made your heart race

"This is beautiful, Clark," You told him, putting the earrings

He gently put the necklace on you. You thanked him shyly

"It looks like we are under the mistletoe" He looks up quickly and looks at you with a sly smirk. He did bring you here with the intention of kissing you

With a surge of confidence, you ask, "It means we have to kiss, it's the tradition, right?" You nervously look at him

"You're right, I guess you've been learning our traditions" He jokes, breaking the distance between you

The kiss was passionate, and he cupped your face, caressing your cheeks

"I guess Santa attended my wish" You giggled when you parted, resting your head on Clark's shoulders

"Thank God above." He smiles, breathing your perfume

"Finally, I thought you would never confess your feelings for each other. Can't wait to tell Hal what I just saw" Wally laughed, winking at both of you, and walked off in a flash

You groaned, imagining how Hal and him would mock you "I don't think I will stand to hear them make jokes about us without smacking their heads"

"Don't mind them" He chuckled, poking your nose then pecked your lips gently

"I guess this doesn't matter now. I got you with me" You press a tender kiss on his cheek

"I love you, Merry Christmas, Clark" You whisper brushing his hair behind

"I love you, Merry Christmas (Y/N)" He embraces you gently sharing his warmness with you

That was how occurred your first Christmas on human civilization. To be honest, you were thankful the gods could give you Clark to share your life with. Clark and you named the dogs Krypto and Bambi.

Christmas had become a tradition in the little family you are building with him. For now, it was just you, Clark, your unborn child and the dogs. Guess you couldn't ask for anything better that Christmas

#dc x reader #superman x reader #superman #clark kent #clark kent x reader #smallville #justice league #justice league x reader #dc imagine

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sisterspooky1013 · 6 months

Text

Gaslight, Chapter 24/48

Rated X | Read it here on AO3

Washington, D.C.

She really does love him, and has for a very long time. She loved him when he discovered the X-files, when he wrote his infamous monograph, when she left him behind for Berlin. She never stopped loving him, even after years without contact. But this isn’t about love, and it never really has been. This is about winning.

They had all but begged her to come back and clean up the mess they’d made when they partnered him with Agent Scully. Idiots. If they’d bothered to ask, she could have told them how to keep Fox under their thumb. They should have paired him with someone like her, someone who would have earned his trust by giving credence to his crackpot theories, and then leveraged that trust to lead him away from the truth. Instead, they fueled the fire by giving him a reason to keep searching for answers, if only so that he could prove to his partner that his theories aren’t as implausible as they appear at first glance. Diana likes to win. Fox likes to convert skeptics into believers, and they handed him one on a silver platter, complete with tits and ass.

It had been a fun little project, something to break up her otherwise predictable cadence of work. She’d fly back to the US, get Fox into bed, fuck some sense into him, and let him see how much better it feels to be listened to, to be believed. It should have taken a week, tops, maybe two if she took a less aggressive approach. But she’d underestimated Dana Scully, and she hadn’t anticipated how much it would hurt to see Fox take her side, even if only half the time. Because she loves him, but also because she really, really doesn't like to lose. Especially not to pint-sized gingers who hide behind science when the uncharted corners of our universe are revealed to them. Diana read the reports. Agent Scully’s attempts to fit the paranormal into the periodic table were adolescent at best, and ignorant at worst.

But Diana had been weak, and she made a mistake. Because she loves him. Because seeing him strapped to that table with his brain on full display activated some deeply buried store of empathy that she hadn’t realized she had on reserve. She didn’t even think it would work, it was more of a gesture of goodwill that would help her sleep at night. If Agent Scully couldn’t figure out how to use the key card to save Fox, that was on her. But to Diana’s surprise, she had, and without any help. And that’s when Diana realized that she’d underestimated the woman, and perhaps also the depth of the bond that she and Fox shared. And it hurt, because she loves him. Because she lost.

She’d learned of her own untimely death the following morning. Found murdered at her apartment, which struck her as pathetic. Couldn’t they have at least given her a valiant death? Let her go down swinging? On her flight back to Berlin she couldn’t help but wonder if they’d throw a funeral for her, and if Fox would attend. She found some satisfaction in the image of him mourning at her graveside, but when that image expanded to include Agent Scully by his side offering comfort, all she felt was rage. He was supposed to be hers, whether she wanted him or not. She was supposed to win.

Imagine her pleasant surprise when Carl came crawling back not two months later, once again needing a favor. He said he couldn’t do it without her, and she knew that he meant it. It felt good to be needed, to have something that no one else could provide. Her history with Fox, the love affair that predated his introduction to Agent Scully, was the secret ingredient to building a new life for him that he would accept. And the idea of being married to him, of getting him for keeps, was quite appealing. Because she loves him. And if she is his wife, Dana Scully is no one. Not even a memory. Not even a scar. Diana was forced to concede the battle, but this was a chance to win the war.

They’d done it together, she and Carl. Not the actual memory manipulation—that had been left to the scientists at the Spurious facility—but curating Fox’s new life. Deciding that an aberrant name like “Fox” wouldn’t do, for one, though she wasn’t especially fond of Carl’s intention to call him after his other son, the one who was a consummate disappointment. He felt that it would be easier and give the Spurious staff fewer fields to manipulate on the documents that would need to be created, but she suspects that he only chose it because it would be one less new name for him to remember, the selfish prick.

By the end, she’d convinced herself that she was doing Fox a kindness. His life up to that point had been an endless series of traumas and hardship, and she had the chance to rewrite history. She downgraded the loss of his sister from unexplainable abduction to cut and dry terminal illness. She took away all his memories of a cold and distant mother and replaced them with one who was warm and loving. She re-routed his career away from the wild goose chase of the FBI, and towards something stable and mainstream that she knew he’d be good at. And she gave him herself, a wife who loves him and wants what he wants. Only it would appear that she made some miscalculations. Perhaps her assessment of Fox’s dream life was slightly off target.

She waits until he’s asleep to slip out of the room and make the phone call. She’s managed to reel him back in so far, but that luck is bound to run out any moment, and she can’t spend all her waking hours tracking his location to be sure he isn’t getting into trouble. Fox is an intelligent man, and a self-preserving one. Leveraging guilt over his affair, which had actually been Carl’s idea, will only get her so far. She has to do something more drastic to put things back on the rails.

“Spender residence, this is Teena.”

“Hi Teena, sorry to wake you. Is he home?”

There’s a heavy sigh, and she waits as Carl walks to the study and picks up the receiver.

“You can hang up, Teena,” he says, and they both wait for the tick of the open line closing off. “It’s late,” he says, his tone shifting.

“I’m sorry, I had to wait until he fell asleep. It’s bad, Carl. Worse than we thought,” she explains as she finds an open seat in the expansive indoor courtyard.

“What does he know?”

“Someone else contacted him. He said it was a patient but I’m not sure if that’s a cover. They told him about Mulder, the FBI agent, and his partner Dana Scully.”

A long pause, followed by a muffled, “Jesus Christ.”

“They must have missed someone in the vaccination program. I don’t think I can get us out of this, Carl. Fox isn’t stupid, and he isn’t going to let this go,” she tells him, rubbing her temples with the thumb and middle finger on her free hand.

“We’ll have to run him through again,” he says resolutely.

Diana pulls her hand away from her face and sits up in her seat.

“Again? From scratch?” she clarifies.

“Well, maybe not completely from scratch. Perhaps we just need to edit out those new bits,” he posits, and she hears the metallic zip of a lighter.

“I think we may want to make other changes. He seemed very unhappy in the plan we built. He wanted to change jobs, and he was asking me about…having children,” she says.

A dry laugh, followed by a coughing fit.

“Do you want Dana Rose’s children?” he asks haughtily. “They’re going to need a new mother.”

“So you’re going to—”

“Of course,” he interjects. “It seems clear now that we ought to have done that on the first go round, don’t you agree? Can’t say that we didn’t give it a good faith effort, though.”

She wants to ask how they’ll do it, but decides that she’d rather not know.

“I’ll bring him to the facility tomorrow so they can get started right away,” she says.

“I’ll call over now and have them start preparing. Goodnight, Diana.”

“Night, Carl.”

She snaps her phone shut and makes her way back to the room, creeping through the door and under the covers with all the stealth of an intruder. Fox stirs and rolls to his back, lifting his arm in invitation that she curl into his side and lay her head on his chest. He quickly falls back asleep and she listens to the steady beat of his heart and feels the rise and fall of his rib cage under her cheek.

She hopes they get it right this time, because she loves him. She wants him to be happy. With her. Only with her.

Tagging @today-in-fic

#the x files #x files fanfic #dana scully #txf #fox mulder #xf fanfic #x files #the x-files #xfiles #thexfiles

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hiatuswhore · 2 years

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𝕦𝕘𝕙, 𝕙𝕚𝕘𝕙 𝕤𝕔𝕙𝕠𝕠𝕝 𝕝𝕝 — 𝕥𝕔

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“Oh come on (Y/n). It’s a party, you don’t have to wear something scandalous but at least something cute. What do you think of this?” Marina holds up a tank top so sheer I can practically see her through it. She mirrors my confusion as we both stare at each other.

“What the hell is that?” I ask. Ivy glances up from her phone but only chuckles and looks back down.

“In what universe did you think (Y/n) would wear that Mina?” Ivy says as Marina exclaims it is only a camisole. Nodding my head I raise an eyebrow at her until she puts the shirt down.

“How about this one? Simple dark crop-top you can pair it with some jeans and jewelry. Super cute and comfortable,” Marina gives the shirt a wiggle for emphasis and pairs it with a big smile. I only grimace, what’s wrong with sweats and cropped sweaters? She sighs turning back to her bag in defeat, she has more clothes in the bag but she stuffs her two shirts away, “Fine but I heard Declan’s going to be there tonight.”

“Having this information would only be useful if (Y/n) would just take a breath and talk to him. Hell freezing over is more likely than that,” Ivy focuses on her eyeliner as she pulls no punches from my direction. Marina huffs Ivy’s name in a patronizing tone as we both stare at her.

“Do you always have to be a bitch?” I ask, rolling my eyes and she pauses as if she thinks it over, before nodding her head. We fall back into a comfortable silence with ease, sitting on Ivy’s words she’s not wrong. Every time I try to speak to Declan, I freeze—or in the wise words of Cady Heron, word vomit. “I think I will stick to my beloved grey sweats and drum roll please.”

“Oh no,” Ivy says, laying across my bed resting her head in hand while Marina sits on my beanbag chair forcing a smile.

“Princess and the Frog cropped shirt. Super cute and screams me,” I say, relishing in how they both shake their heads at my plain outfit choice.

“You should listen to your friends lovey. Vintage is back right? I have some super cute mom jeans from the nineties. Want me to get them out of the attic for you?” My mom beams in the doorway, I see her more excited at the prospect of me going to a party than my all A report cards.

“It could be super cute with this crop top,” Marina says, taking the black crop top from her bag. My mom squeals with excitement before disappearing down the hall.

“Not necessary Mom my outfits chosen,” I call out but she ignores me as I hear the ladder fall. Marina and Ivy giggle at my mothers excitement, I groan knowing I will now spend the next hour bickering with her about the jeans.

“I have such a crush on your Mom,” Ivy says, ignoring her comment I pull my hoodie over my head before switching into the princess and the frog shirt. The loose shirt pairs well with my sweatpants and I am ready for the party I plan to stay at for two hours max.

The next three hours consist of my mother trying to convince me to wear the jeans, Marina trying to put makeup on me, and Ivy being Ivy. On our way out of the door my dad reminds me of my curfew and if anything they can come get us if need be.

Mackenzie’s house is large. The room reeks of cheap perfumes, weed, and beer. I cringe at the loud music and packed living room. My parents would kill me if I did this to our house. Ivy and Marina are greeted by several of our peers with enthusiasm, my hellos feel as though they are tapered onto the end out of courtesy.

“I think there’s more space in the back to dance,” Marina says, locking arms we all work our way through the house to discover an even more ridiculous backyard. From the large in ground pool to the granite floors—I am undoubtedly in awe. Scanning the crowd I see no sight of Declan.

“Come dance with us,” Ivy says as Marina pulls an imaginary rope toward herself from my direction. I shake my head reminding them that I do not dance.

“Yeah you do,” Marina grabs my wrist pulling me in between both herself and Ivy. I stick out like a sore stiff thumb with them dancing around me. Ivy’s fiery look makes the swaying of her hips sexy, Marina’s ethereal look makes her enchanting as she moves as if no else matters. I look foolish as I grimace and bop like something constricts every muscle in my body.

“I’ve seen you dance (Y/n) let loose, you're a great dancer,” Ivy says, reminding her there is a huge difference between here and my bedroom. I take two steps back from them still just barely moving to the music.

“Oh wow all this dancing really tired me out. I’m going to find a drink,” I hear them both scoff at my exit but neither of them follow me inside. The music is somehow ten times louder inside and I work my way toward the kitchen with ease. I fill a red solo cup with cranberry juice and a little bit of vodka while pecking at the open bag of potato chips.

“Glad I’m not the only one looking for snacks,” My throat sinks to my stomach as I look over my left shoulder. Declan reaches down grabbing a chip looking down at me. I fail to shake the shock and at this point I am just staring at him. “Earth to (Y/n).”

“Uh sorry I um—yeah,” Why am I such an idiot? He chuckles asking me if I am having fun. Scratching the back of my neck I cringe almost on instinct, “I guess.”

He chuckles again, wetting his lips as he leans down toward me. What the hell? My heart is hammering as if it wants to jump out of my chest, “Between you and me. I’m not having much fun either.”

I let out a laugh as he leans back up and grabs a few more chips. Still I have not completed a single sentence since he joined me. Taking a deep breath I fiddle with my fingers. My mind races to think of something to say as I try to calm my nerves before speaking up. “I—“

Before I can speak Evan Meisters at Declan’s side pulling him off to join the other football players. My shoulders fall in defeat as I scold myself for once again getting in my own head.

“Double-A were running low on snacks?” Closing my eyes I know Timothèe stands behind me with a shit eating grin and something stupid to say. “You look very underdressed for a food station attendant.”

“Very funny,” Rolling my eyes he takes my cup from my hands and brings it to his lips.

“Vodka cran. Very classy,” He says, smirking as he continues my drink.

“You keep up and I’m going to think you have a crush on me Chalamet,” I say and he holds my gaze as he finishes my cup.

“You think poking fun of you is how I flirt?” He asks. Given the lack of originality it would not shock me if that is how he flirts. We both know I am kidding but a glint sits in his eyes that makes me shift but I cannot let him see me falter. He closes the space between us and chuckles playing with the hem of my shirt. “Wanna get out of here?”

I cannot lie. For a second—scratch that a millisecond the white button up, blue jeans, and gold chain was doing something. I flick his forehead before pouring myself another drink. His laughters non stop as he joins me in making himself another drink.

“Your ladies look amazing out there, have either of them asked about me?” He asks, taking a sip of my drink he does the same as we linger by the snacks and drink table.

“When I told them you were here I could practically hear their ovaries exploding. Marina’s eyes glowed like—like fairies and Ivy wept thanking the heavens for the opportunity to be in your presence. It was so powerful that they just started dancing together,” He laughs at my mocking tone, calling me insufferable. Any chance of me enjoying this party drains as Bianca joins Timothèe's side.

“Hey B what’s up?” He says nonchalantly and I frown, how the hell could he not worry about their interactions. The two of them hooking up is a ticking time bomb just waiting to erupt.

“Want to hang out later?” She asks, tilting her head forward, her dark hair frames her face making her dark eyes more noticeable. She’s wearing a dark crop top and denim skirt with waist beads.

“Tempting but I can’t tonight I have to help my mom move some furniture early in the morning,” My head whips toward him as the words leave his lips. If Bianca did not treat me as a ghost she would see my face and know he was lying. Bianca sighs and stalks off into the party leaving Timothèe to avoid my gaze.

“Um, why not just say no?” I ask, glazing over the comment about his mother he seems thankful for it.

“It’s never that simple. They always find a way around my no. I think I would need to have a girlfriend for them to back off,” He says, finishing my cup I shrug muttering that he should find a girlfriend then before leaving him at the table.

I leave the party without Ivy and Marina, it’s only a fifteen minute well lit walk to which I text them proof of life while in my bedroom. Turning on Project Runway, I make a bowl of popcorn and cozy up on the couch. I get through half an episode before knocking on the back glass door makes me flinch. It is faint and the porch lights are off—they are motion sensors. Tensing up I consider screaming for my parents to come down as the house grows eerily quiet. I almost do as Timothèe’s face appears in the kitchen window, he points toward the back door before disappearing.

“Are you insane?” I whisper letting him into the house. I turn the tv back on as a smokescreen. My parents would not care if they found Timothèe in the house but I still have no desire to wake them and be pestered with questions about the party.

“Love this episode by the way and you are a genius. I need your help getting Mackenzie and Bianca off my back,” He speaks fast and the smile on his lips tells me whatever he is about to say is going to idiotic. “Let’s pretend we are feeling each other and might date.”

“Why the hell would I do that?” I ask snatching my bowl of popcorn from his fingers as he helps himself.

“First I’m your best friend,” He says, holding up his hands gesturing to the many pictures on the wall of my living room. Timothèe’s and I are in a large amount of them together. Even his soccer photos reside on our fridge, my mom loves him.

“First friend,” I point out and he flips me off while stealing another piece of popcorn.

“Second, we can so pull off having chemistry. People mistake friendships for more all the time. Last I can help you get with Declan Knight,” Narrowing my eyes I scrunch my nose and he continues, “If we start hanging out people are going to ask questions. Girls are not the only ones who gossip, the guys are going to want to know why (Y/n) Acevedo. Then I tell them how cool you secretly are.”

“Just because we are hanging out does not mean that is going to draw Declan’s interest in me,” I point out, nodding his head. I wait for the shoe to drop knowing there is no way this plan carries out without something I do not like.

“Okay we are going to have to do a little bit of a look change,” He says, laying back on the couch I let out a long sigh.

“How different?” I ask and he bites his bottom lip grimacing at my cat pajama pants and SpongeBob shirt. “Seriously it’s that bad?”

“You have uni-boob, your posture sucks, and your comfy looks would look better if you put more effort into your hair” He lists off without a care and my jaw drops.

“How the hell did you get into Project Runway?”

“Remember the day you kicked me out because I thought you were depressed but you were actually just being extremely lazy?” Nodding my head I remembered I kept telling him to stop looking in my window. Yes I had been Project Runway all weekend and not leaving my room unless it was to pee but still. “I got curious how you could watch it so religiously but then I fell deep into that rabbit hole for a couple of days. So are you in?”

#timothée chalamet #timothée chalamet fanfiction #timothée imagine #timothée chalamet au #timothée fanfic #Timothée Chalamet x reader #timothée x reader #shelly hennig #diana silvers #daniel sharman #camila mendes #lili reinhart

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