#HELP WHY IS THIS SO REAL

[jasontoddssuper]

Jason Todd may respect women but women don't respect Jason Todd

#HELP WHY IS THIS SO REAL #jason todd #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #artemis grace #koriand'r #mia dearden #rose wilson #okay to tag as jaytemis and/or jayrose but NO other ships🔪 #batfam #robin #red hood #as per always my jason is a bi trans man who's afro-dominican and adhd/mdd/autistic #letters from summer #kara danvers

[andthebeanstalk]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need. #the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist. #the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28! #a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents. #they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong. #and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives. #you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead? #or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of. #no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow. #i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong. #just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

[stuckinapril]

friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me

#It’s just so different #even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol #in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps #if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it #esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends #no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr #u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS #meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life #this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation #like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !! #& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers #who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them #and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends #it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me #I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc #like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this #so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works #p

[clonerightsagenda]

I have absolutely no opinions on the Barbie movie but since I am already seeing discourse about it all over my dash I am begging people once again to get involved in some kind of local activism so they will stop thinking what movies you watch is a hardhitting form of praxis

#i'm not saying it's an entirely neutral act #and I get this is the Media Consumption site so people are going to focus on the ethics of media consumption #but I scroll past some of these and go. cool. do you want to invest some time helping real people in your community now #why this

[inkskinned]

there are days that it is hard, and unfair, and some horrible part of me wishes i could have been born in a different world. i love being queer, i hate how others react to it. when i first came out at 15, my mom whispered: please don't say that. your life would be so much harder.

it is harder.

it is also a tuesday, walking my dog. we are both skiving off of work, and yes both of us have dyed hair and pronouns. mine is patchy - it was my first time trying bleach; i didn't have enough. theirs is a resilient toadstool green. a little girl comes up to us and asks um, excuse me? is your hair real? 'cause jason says you're a fairy.

it is sunday brunch, all of us talking over each other, overfull on love. she is trying out a new name today, and we made her a cake with today's name scrawled in shaky purple letters. she laughs so much she cries and then gets frosting in her hair. someone young at a different table keeps giving us these large, wide eyes: the same look we have all been on the other side of. the kind that says, breathless: wait, is that possible?

it is a half-fight in a supermarket because he loves "dance moms" and says abby's tiktok is funny and meanwhile i think the children in that show should be allowed to sue abby lee miller for child abuse. i tell him that it led to the casual acceptance of child harassment for mainly adult views; and then i am standing, suddenly, in someone else's thrown soda. there's a white lady standing there, furious, saying something about hell-on-earth. i had forgotten i was wearing stuff with pride colors. and then it is this: he had just been casually arguing with me - and within an instant, he squares his shoulders and goes after her like i am his sister

on saturday i sat in a circle while beca played with my hair and we were all over 30 and we laughed about how much happier we are being this old, how much more we appreciate our community. 25 minutes from now, we will be on stage to dance in baggy beige clothing, but for now we look on with envy to the dancers in loud-and-bright buttondowns. where are they getting these shirts! i cry, distraught. everyone laughs. one of our friends has a mushroom witch hat. this would have been cringey in high school, probably. instead we are all delighted with each other; happy just to be here and alive and moving

it's that last week my new friends cried with joy for me when they heard i'm getting top surgery. every so often i have the honor of being the first person someone feels comfortable enough to tell. i'm trying to make long fluttery butterfly wings to wear to pride; but i don't know anything about fabric or dye, so my friends have been sending me their personal advice.

i think in a different poem i would talk about how sometimes you walk into a room and put the mask back on. but i'm sleepy and my whole brain is fuzzy so i think in this one, it's a monday, and my dog and i took a nap on a couch, and i had missed texts from friends. i used to wake up lonely. i think this poem is about walking into a room and seeing someone and just knowing, the way you just-know-sometimes, and then giving them that little smile, and seeing them light up with joy and relief. it is how we always seem to be able to find each other in a crowded room. how we always seem to make friends with each other before even we know-it-to-be-true. it is saying: we're very different people; but i belong to you.

it is harder, yes. but it comes with a built-in family.

#wish this was better written!!! but im sleepy!! #writeblr #pride #lgbt #but for real please help me make these lesbian wings. gonna get the supplies tomorrow . i have #no sewing machine but know how to hand sew #have never done a good job with tie dye so idk why im just runnin with it #ps im specifically going to boston pride next weekend come hang out with me

[andsewingishalfthebattle]

Novice sewing pattern: Cut out shapes. Line up the little triangles on the edges. Stitch edges together. We've also included step-by-step assembly instructions with illustrations.

Novice knitting pattern: yOU MUSt uNDerstANd thE SECret cOdE CO67 (73, 87, 93) BO44 (63, 76, 90) 28 (32, 34) slip first pw repeat 7x K to end *kl (pl) 42 * until 13" (13, 13, 15) join new at 30 pl for 17 rows ssk 27 k2tog mattress lengthwise BO and sacrifice a goat to the knitting gods. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT "INSTRUCTIONS," I JUST GAVE THEM TO YOU

#knitting #no it's not a real pattern but I can't write one that makes sense because I have no freaking clue what any of that means #How do you make things that aren't basic rectangles #Why has every knitter I've asked for help just said 'patterns are easy; you just have to know how to read them' & then refused to teach me #Where do I even find a goat to sacrifice #How do I join the pattern cult #I am so confused #I've been knitting for almost a decade but I can only make scarves and potholders #I learned one (1) stitch by watching a YouTube video and none of my friends or family knit so I have no IRL resources #And nobody I meet seems to want to take the time to explain the rest to me #I taught myself to sew through trial and error but that doesn't really work with knitting because error is pretty much just... Unraveling? #Anyway sorry for the tag rant I'm just frustrated that I see pretty things I want to make but the instructions are in an alien language #And the gap between 'absolute novice' and 'intermediate' seems to be about 20 years of experience and formal instruction

[dontyouworrydaddy]

Dear Lord, please make him real. Just for a moment.

I would totally just hug him

#call of duty #fanfic #call of duty modern warfare #simon ghost riley #call of duty fanfic #simon riley #cod #cod mw3 #simon riley mw3 #modern warfare 3 #simon riley imagine #help he is so hot #i miss my man #why is he not real? #boyfriend reveal

[varyathevillain]

no joke but what I really want for Buddy Daddies as a fandom is to make fanart and fanfic post present time ep12 where Rei wears an arm orthosis when working.

I think varied disability aids being represented would be fantastic, and personally would write Rei as someone being deeply proud of something he's done for his family, but also understanding with time that using an orthosis also helps him at work and in raising Miri. with a giant portion of mobility/motorics aids being represented by prosthetics, seeing more variety and exploring it in fiction would also help making a step in normalising disability treatments.

#that's my personal opinion and i just thought about how understanding more about physical disabilities #and how to help people with those aids in case something happens and they ask for help #has furthered my understanding and might even help me in the future if i were ever to experience that #Buddy Daddies Spoilers #Buddy Daddies #Suwa Rei #(again. i want to write Kurusu Rei SO BAD) #text post #Varya rambles #also drawing an orthosis would be real complicated for an animated work so i understand why they chose to hide the arm #but i really like the headcanon of Rei using it sparingly 🥺 not everyone uses them all the time #+ it's also not healthy if worn all the time. looking @ people who'd let their characters sleep with their prostheis on. smh #and this is also NOT a 'you HAVE to do this'! just something I think would be fantastic #...also I'm like. apparently looking @ a start of a fic where Rei uses it?? is my writer's block finally over?! #here's a hoping 🙏buddy daddies such a good anime. not perfect not extremely beautiful. but GOOD in HEART #1k

[tawnfawn]

i just KNOW that simon riley is a messy kisser. this mf is grabbing you by the hips, waist, hands, thighs, neck, he does not care—hands rubbing up and down your curves like he doesn’t know where to touch first. it’s all teeth and tongue—he’s one impatient mf. he’s waited long enough to kiss you, he’s not gonna be light. and i know he doesn’t half ass that shit!!! this man is either kissing your forehead softly or making out with you like there’s no tomorrow. definitely the type to “accidentally” bump into you while you’re doing something and use it as an excuse to kiss you. he’s not a PDA person, but when you’re alone he’s always, and I mean always got a hand on you. one hand on the wheel, the other on your thigh or holding your hand. he lets you have aux too, but he’ll complain about your “shit music” every time. EVERY TIME!!!

can you tell i’m in love with this man

#simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley #it’s unhealthy how down bad i am #my tumblr reposts are why i’m not getting into heaven #lord forgive me i have sinned and i am down on my knees praying for his dick in my mouth #fuck i need help #nah i need him #he needs me fr #he wants me so bad i swear #can you tell i’m in love with this man #cod ghost x reader smut #ghost cod #ghost headcanons #cod headcanons #he’s not even real

[noctumbra]

japanese learners/japanese speakers, is there any solid dictionary that i can use to look up words? like larousse for french, is there any websites/dictionaries for japanese?

#japanese #japanese language #japanese learning #im thinking of getting into it for real #so i thought i could start by learning vocab but i need solid stuff #i can look it up online sure but are they true? are they really giving / showing me what i wanna know? #i don't wanna triple check for each word i want to look up or learn #so help is muuuuch appreaciate it #also i think learning vocab is the least scary way to learn japanese alphabets so this is actually the main reason why im asking + #+ for a solid dictionary #thank youuu #blablabla

[blueskittlesart]

deeply refreshing to see someone critical of Swift who also like, genuinely likes her. Like i'm neutral to positive on her, but the online discourse has been absolutely rancid. flipping between "Taylor Swift has never done anything wrong ever and she's a fucking genius" and "Taylor Swift is the worst lyricist of all time and also a bad person" is exhausting, so thank you for like. nuance or something lmao

not to make it serious for a sec but i genuinely think that being able to like things that are bad is really important. like I think that it's an important skill to be able to look at something and see what you personally enjoy about it and then take a step back and acknowledge that objectively it's flawed. and to also be able to acknowledge that liking something isn't necessarily an identity or a moral stance. and i think that fandom space in general could really benefit from more people taking the time to learn how to do that. it's okay to like things that are bad

#people ask me sometimes why ill occasionally talk about something i like and then go 'but it's bad' and the answer is usually because it is #i love teen wolf. i love genshin impact. i love detective conan. and i fucking LOVE taylor swift. that doesnt mean theyre good #it just means i like them. and recognizing their flaws actually helps me better identify what i like about them! #it's like. in my mind bad > good is the x axis and i like it > i dont like it is the y axis yk. they're not mutually exclusive #tldr it's not that serious. we can all relax a little #irt taylor swift i do also think she has done some real harm to her fans in enabling them to deflect all criticism of her as misogyny #and i don't think it's fully the fault of these people who are parroting that response bc so much of her marketing has deliberately #reinforced this idea that to be a swiftie is to be a part of a sisterhood and that any attack on taylor is an attack on all of those women #who are in that in-group. when that's obviously not the case. but she's marketed herself as. for lack of a better term. 'girl music' #to the point where it makes her fans feel as though any criticism of the music or the woman responsible for it is an attack on their #personal experience of womanhood/girlhood/sisterhood/etc. and that's how you get all of thess bad-faith accusations of misogyny #i don't necessarily think this was her deliberate goal with her marketing tho because like. on first glance such a strong sense of communit #among fans sounds like a great thing. the friendship bracelets i got at the eras tour movie are really genuinely special to me. #but it does present a problem when your fans are unable to separate how they feel about the community and experience your music has fostere #from how they feel about you as a person. especially when you are a billionaire who absolutely CANNOT be above criticism in this economy #anyway. tldr i love taylor's music and i don't think swiftie hivemind is as deliberately malicious as it may seem #but it's obviously necessary to be able to take a step back and look objectively at what you're participating in. #anyway stream ttpd or don't idc <3 #taylor swift

[wasyago]

im gonna start killing

#im not gonna start killing im gonna throw up actually #i will strangle charlie and mariana for ruining my life in particular. only mine im the only special one here #they make me sick they're terrible im gonnaaaaa 👊👊👊👊👊👊 #rip flippa also #now how do i tag this oh god-- #qsmp #slimecicle #charlie slimecicle #el mariana #???? #help #my art #sketch #i *probably* wont draw much for qsmp. i hope. #maybe just a couple designs here and there but nothing *real* #ughghghhg #also why are there 94 pages on ao3 for qsmp. wtf guys it started not so long ago. like. i get it. but 94???????????????? bruh #dont aks what i was doing on ao3 im starving for charlie/mariana content #i probably shouldn't say this in the tags under this post but uhhh uhhhhhhhhh uhhhh

[phoenixcatch7]

In love with the idea of captain marvel being Billy's imaginary friend. Like, it'd be so easy. Early depictions had them as almost fully separate people sometimes, like one soul with two minds, rather than just two filters like we mostly see now.

But imagine a Billy down on his luck, hurt and hiding from police and criminals alike, daydreaming the hours away as children do, taking inspiration from all the superheroes rising to fame, making little stories to play out his dreams of saving the world with a generic action doll he found while dumpster diving once. Most of the paint's rubbed off.

Red's his favourite colour, his comfiest jumper is a bright ruby even after all the grime and washes. Gold, too, it's shiny and warmer than silver! A hero cape is a must, big and eye catching! And he can fly, of course, like superman, and in his daydreams, when he's sore and frustrated after a long day's grind, his superhero is smart enough and knows all the right words to get the bullies to stop without resorting to fighting.

His superhero fantasy is one he spends a lot of time on, the first one he goes for when struggling to sleep at night, and he can picture it so clearly. Captain marvel is big and bright and kind, strong enough to lift the boxes for the old lady up the road who's moving all by himself, fast enough to catch Jamie who fell out of the tree on Saturday and broke his leg and couldn't come to class for weeks. He appears at the entrance to alleys when Billy is cornered, he steps up behind to cover for him when he gets caught shoplifting, he sits at the bus stop with him when it's pouring rain and the right bus doesn't seem to be coming.

And then the wizard comes, or rather whisks him away, and like a magician from a fairytale breathes life into his imaginary friend until Billy feels thrice his size and a million times more invincible.

From then on, captain marvel is a real hero, just like Billy is a real boy, and as one they save the whole city, and then the whole world, and get cats down from trees and help Mrs Victoria move the last of her boxes and she gives them a pinch in the cheek and cookies for the road and sometimes it hurts but it's so much better than he imagined.

#dc comics #captain marvel #dc captain marvel #shazam #billy batson #imaginary friend #imaginary friend au #Billy's great because you can give him the most buck wild adventures with the most self indulgent plots and it makes perfect sense #Batman and superman are out here having mental health crisis no.528 and marvels away having dance offs with gnomes #Billy would fit perfectly into gravity falls he really would #Anyway imaginary friend au is near and dear because it encapsulates that sort of safe fantasy for change and companion ship #And a protective imaginary friend brought to life is going to be just a fascinating character no matter what #And it's the perfect cover for non imaginary cap anyway. Why does he prioritise this kid over everything despite having never mentioned him #Imaginary friends always have to care for their creator! But you can't expect an imaginary friend to do your taxes! #Why is cap so eternally kind and bubbly and a bit childish? That's because his creator is a kid! Duh! #This particular imaginary friend just so happens to have encountered magic and is now real enough to play basketball with asteroids. #He's strong enough to match superman but it's fine he's got a child's heart and an unending protectiveness for humanity. #Just don't try anything with the kid or you're toast. #I love the jl needing to save/help Billy in some way and cap; who's practically the jls puppy mascot at this point #Is just shamelessly and unrepentantly possessive of Billy while being openly wrapped around his finger. Number one fan #Like 'he's the specialist boy and if you don't clap for him I'm going to blow this whole building up' type #Have you read Split on ao3 it's like that. Cap is the most unaffiliated person on the team and then bam Billy is number 1 priority 100% #Go read split if you haven't 10/10 #Like it never crosses caps mind to hinder or harm Billy he is Devoted. Platonic God/worshipper except the deity in question is an 11yo #And the worshipper is the closest thing to a deity without being one you can get in dc. #But like a healthy relationship lmao. #It's a soul deep claim with total freedom on both sides and they teach each other love and they're the same person #AUGH

[flovoid]

bleeding dawn petals, march into the haze..

#floyd cyprus #draco almond #also the flower color reverse? totally on purpose hehe #there is meaning behind it btw- anyone can understand it in their own way #but to me tho.. #red flowers is the strongest emotion which is passion. and the reason why draco is holding it is because- #-even after his vague childhood and how he got heartbroken in the past and his cold grumpy/annoyed appearance #he still has this strong flame inside of him searching for the real clue of a true bond #grey flowers is that numb feeling. or a negative emotion that are hardly changeable #and the reason why floyd is holding it is because of how he understands/help/care for everyone deeply #but in return; they don’t. #so floyd feels numb. he is used to that feeling #hardly enough he actually embraced it. #and he still keep caring to everyone spreading joy while having that pierced smile on his face… #simblr #sims 4 #ts4 #lets ignore that the aesthetic is SO NOT THEIRS… its spring thats my excuse.

[ryllen]

my builder looks so similar with haru, i started to think they are long separated twins

#you can't really tell but i also picked a dark shade of blue for the builder's eyes so i was like *GASP!! >:^o #my time at sandrock #mtas #mtas haru #mtas builder #mtas logan #it would explain lots why the builder doesn't exactly look like her parents #the recent dialogue of haru wanting to go to university makes me think oh haru would see himself in the builder and think #oh that's how much i would be able to do if i get good education like her who was taken by parents in highwind #it's like fate that the builder comes to sandrock and ended up finding him #or he might be the reason she chose to come to sandrock in the first place #she might know something but who knows which is the real truth (i don't fshd) #i meant it made me think how someone from good sounding place such as highwind would come to a total desert like sandrock #i was like ?? #this would be somewhat a good reason #for the parents builder to also let her go to sandrock #o h // the twin situation makes me think fondly of astral chain #it's funny when they both stand beside logan #it's like fate they ended up at the same place and helping the same person #fsdh i did think that haru is a lazy designed character because he looks so similar to base male player #that's why he would look so similar with the builder

[cyberpunkaddict]

"Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly." - Langston Hughes

“I love you to the moon and back.”

Prologue, Part 1

#cyberpunkaddict.png #oc: villiam bryant #oc: villiam bryant lore #otp: two songbirds #cyberpunk 2077 #songbird #song so mi #male v #virtual photography #masc v #cyberpunk 2077 v #v x songbird #cyberpunk 2077 photomode #cyberpunk 2077 oc #dailyvideogames #v x song so mi #cyberpunk 2077 screenshots #gamingnetwork #dailygaming #cyberpunk v #storytime #im just gonna go cry in the corner real quick brb #if u wanna know why Songbird has a funeral check out part one link is at the bottom of this post #anyone else think rain in this game is weird doesnt look realistic at all lol and im too lazy to photoshop #also tumblr compresses these pics like craaazy wth so i had to add some grain to make them look better ish but didnt really help ughhhhh #if i could pay a monthly sub to not have my stuff be compressed at all i totally would this shit has gotten even worse the last few months #q