#and he still keep caring to everyone spreading joy while having that pierced smile on his face…

[gladerscake]

Blind Spots

(Gally x Reader)

Another lengthy one, because self-restraint means nothing to me. Major fluff ahead. Hope you enjoy!

Gally was back, and it was nothing short of a miracle. All this time, for the last six months, your grieving heart had wept for him, quietly, while you did your best to put on a brave facade and seem alright on the outside. You always made sure that none of your friends could see exactly how much pain you were in. They didn’t need to know. They couldn’t have done anything to change it, and their looks of pity wouldn’t have helped in the slightest. So you kept it locked away, only letting it torment you at night, while everyone else were asleep and couldn’t hear you cry.

And now, seeing him again, alive and relatively unharmed… Truthfully, you were still processing it, but even through your heavy state of shock, every fiber of your being was reeling with joy and relief. You felt a little light-headed, but in the best possible way. Feeling his muscular arms around you again, his warm embrace, looking into his piercing bluish-green eyes that shined into yours with the same undiluted love they had back in the glade… It had almost made you dizzy, and you were surprised at yourself for not having passed out - for a moment there, it felt like you might have.

You never stopped loving Gally, not for one moment. Despite having been convinced you’d never see him again, there was no force in the world strong enough to make you forget him or even begin letting him go.

Having him back filled you with a happiness you had long given up on experiencing ever again. You hadn’t felt anything close to it since the day you thought you’d lost him. The worst day of your life, your most haunting memory… No. You refused to think about it again. It didn’t matter anymore, because Gally was alive, and that’s what you needed to focus on. The light inside you, the one you thought had died with him, was flickering back to life again. It was flourishing and spreading with each passing second, as you realized you were no longer bound to imagine a future that he wouldn’t be in. The bleak and cheerless future you had laid out for yourself was rapidly dispersing before your eyes, giving way to something brighter, something much more hopeful and promising.

However, as much as you wanted to let the euphoria of having Gally by your side again consume you entirely, you knew you couldn’t. Not completely. You still had a mission, a dangerous and inordinately challenging one - rescuing Minho. You could already feel what a “fun adventure” this was going to be…

You had just met Lawrence, and although he’d initially stated that only two people were allowed to be shown the way into the city, Gally managed to bargain for three. The third one being, unsurprisingly, you. He had just got you back, and he wasn’t ready to let you out of his sight, if he had anything to say about it. Not that you minded - you had no desire to be far away from him either. You’d had more than enough of that.

“So… That’s the dead boyfriend, huh?” Brenda asked with a cheeky smile as she walked beside you, pulling you out of your thoughts. Gally was walking ahead, leading you all somewhere only he knew, as you were making sure to keep up.

“Yeah… That’s him.” You responded, keeping your voice down, a slightly dazed grin pulling at the corner of your lips. ‘Not dead anymore’ your heart seemed to whisper in utter excitement.

“He’s different from what I’d imagined!” Your dark-haired friend mused out loud, causing your brow to quirk upwards as you shot her a confused glance.

“Different how?”

“Just different…” Brenda shrugged, her smile widening before she lightly punched you in the arm. “But I’m happy for you, Y/N. Really. Most people don’t get a second chance like this.”

Your grin grew brighter, eyes landing on Gally’s broad back as your abdomen swarmed with butterflies. You were well aware of how minuscule the odds were of a past love ‘coming back from the dead’. Yet, a part of you couldn’t help but feel like, maybe, after all you and Gally had endured, you deserved that second chance.

“I know…”

Soon enough, Gally led you all into a closed-off area of the base, a rather filthy room with a large covered pothole in the middle and a ladder propped up against one of the walls. You took a moment to examine your surroundings, while the rest did the same, all exchanging equally questioning looks.

Before you could ask what this place was, you suddenly felt a large and warm hand descend onto your shoulder. There was no way for you to not know, immediately, who it belonged to. Your question died in your throat as you turned around to face him.

Gally squeezed your shoulder with as much comfort as he could manage, his bright eyes staring, deeply, into yours, making your heart leap. There was so much he wanted to do, so much he wanted to tell you and talk to you about, but the number of people surrounding you was preventing him from doing so. He so badly wanted to be alone with you. Even if just for a few minutes… All he could do was hope that there will be time for that later. You two had plenty to catch up on, and he couldn’t wait for a chance at it.

“You alright? You’re not hurt, are you?” He whispered, hoarsely, scanning you for any sign of even minor injury.

You breathed a slightly quivering chuckle, shaking your head and covering Gally’s hand with your own, the mere contact reminding you of the closeness you and him once shared… and will share again, now that he was back.

“I’m okay, definitely. Much better now…” You whispered in response, your eyes gleaming up at him. A small but sincere smile formed on his lips as he looked at you. He knew what you meant by that - he felt the exact same way. He had been afraid that after everything that’s happened, your feelings for him may have dimmed, or even worse, trickled away altogether. But with the way you were looking at him now, with such warmth and sheer affection, Gally felt those heartbreaking thoughts melt away. You still loved him. Just as much as he loved you. Even if only one person was genuinely happy to see him again, he couldn’t be more thankful that it was you.

Ignoring the presence of your friends, Gally pressed a loving kiss to your forehead. You bit down on your bottom lip, the sweet gesture almost bringing fresh tears to your eyes. However, the next moment, he drew back, gazing down at you “I’ll be right back, okay? I need to grab a couple things before we can go.”

You nodded, understandingly, giving his hand a soft squeeze before letting go “Of course.. We’ll be right here.”

Gally delivered you one more subtle smile before leaving you and the others to look around a bit.

“By the looks of it, we’re going down the bloody sewer.” Newt assumed, eyeing the pothole with slight confusion and just a hint of disgust.

“Wouldn’t be the worst place you’ve been to so far, no?” Jorge scoffed, arms folded on his chest as he stayed close to Brenda.

Frypan chuckled, lowly, glancing at the ladder “True that…”

Although most of your friends had seemingly chosen to look away and act oblivious to your and Gally’s little exchange, one person had not.

Thomas’ dark eyes darted to you, uneasily, every muscle in his body strained and jaw clenched, tensely, as he nudged you in the side.

“Y/N… Can we talk for a second?” He all but grunted, clearing his throat.

“No.” The blatant response tumbled from your lips without hesitation, despite the calmness of your tone.

You already knew what was on his mind. You didn’t want to hear it. Thomas was a close friend and very dear to your heart, but this wasn’t something he had a say in. You knew how he felt about Gally, so naturally, the thought of you two together again did not particularly thrill him. Nonetheless, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. If Thomas had a problem with it, then that’s just something he would have to learn to deal with.

“Y/N…” Thomas tried again, more insistently this time “Please…”

You felt him grip your forearm, not hard enough for it to hurt, but hard enough to let you know that he needed to speak with you, now, and he wouldn’t let go until you at least attempted to hear him out.

Drawing in a heavy sigh, you shot him a sharp pointed look.

“Fine.” You muttered, curtly. You decided you would give him a chance to just get it off his chest. Nothing he’d say could possibly change your mind, regardless.

With that, Thomas briskly slipped out of the room, as you reluctantly followed him. Once you two were a few feet away from the others, you halted to a stop, not wanting to go too far.

“Can’t imagine what’s so urgent.” You huffed, quietly, your arms crossing as you stared, expectantly, at your friend. “Well? Come on, let’s hear it.”

Thomas frowned, his features painted with exasperation “Y/N, before you go running back to him-“

“I already did.” You hastily cut him off, trying to keep your expression as placid as you could. “Thomas, there’s nothing you can do. You know how I feel.”

He grimaced, his mind refusing to wrap around it. What was it about Gally? How could you so easily forget what had happened and welcome him back with open arms?

“Seriously…? After what he did?” He stared at you in disbelief, dark brown eyes narrowing.

You gritted your teeth, staring right back at him, endeavouring to suppress your own bubbling comtempt for the subject “What happened to Chuck wasn’t Gally’s fault.”

“He shot him, Y/N!”

“It was an accident, Thomas!” Your voice had risen, finally, your hands clenching into fists. You had had this exact argument with him before and you couldn’t stand hearing it for one more second. “Whether you want to admit it or not! You were there - you know exactly what happened!”

Thomas, much to your surprise, fell silent. His mouth twitched as he looked at you as if you weren’t making any sense. Yet, deep down, even though he despised the idea of conceding, a small part of him knew you weren’t entirely wrong.

You took advantage of his silence and continued. You had every intention of standing your ground on this. “Gally never would’ve hurt Chuck! He wasn’t aiming for him! And what part of “he was stung” keeps getting lost on you? Have you forgotten what that does to a person? Because I haven’t!”

“Yeah, he was stung, but he could have-“

“No, he couldn’t have!” Your hands were practically shaking by now, a lump had formed in your throat “He wasn’t himself, he had no control over what he was doing! You just want to blame him, because it’s easy!”

Thomas glowered “I don’t get it… I really don’t, what is it about him?”

“What is it about Teresa?” You countered, not missing a beat.

At that, Thomas trailed off, the familiar pang of hurt shooting through his limbs. Something that occurred every time he thought about her, since the day of her disastrous betrayal.

You huffed, knowing you had struck a nerve, but also knowing that you were right “Come on, look at me and tell me that if she showed up right now, looked at you with those big blue eyes and told you how sorry she was, how much she regretted the whole thing, you wouldn’t immediately want her back.”

“I wouldn’t-“

“You would!” You noted the way Thomas bit the inside of his cheek, as well as the way his knuckles were already turning white. “You would, Thomas… You damn well know it.”

He shook his head, the inner conflict swirling prominently in his dark eyes as his tone dipped “She would have to do a lot more than apologize.”

“Yeah, but you still wouldn’t turn her away.” You retorted, firmly, your penetrating gaze not leaving him.

Silence. Heavy, deafening silence that spoke for itself.

Thomas remained unmoving, his shoulders sagging as he peered at you, solemnly. You didn’t break the agitated eye contact, merely taking a step back.

“That’s what I thought. I guess we both have our blind spots.”

The dark-haired boy looked away from your eyes, finding himself tragically at a loss for words. He hated that you were right. He could lie to himself all he wanted, but at the end of the day, he knew that even after what Teresa had done, he still cared for her. If he were to see her again… He highly doubted he would forgive her instantly, especially while WICKED still had Minho, but if she were to have a change of heart and choose to be on their side again… He knew he would have an agonizingly hard time discarding her.

You watched Thomas’ demeanor shift, his tense expression softening as he exhaled in defeat. Evidently the thought of trying to get you to keep your distance with Gally was no longer the dominant one on his mind. You took no joy in fighting with him, but Thomas needed to understand exactly where you stood, on all counts. You didn’t need his approval on this. You and Gally were together, and if Thomas, as your friend, couldn’t be happy for you, then the least he could was stay out of it.

“At least mine isn’t torturing our friend right now.” You gritted out, your voice barely above a whisper.

Thomas heard it clearly, though. His gaze shot up to meet yours once more, and you almost winced at the miserable glint in his eyes. You suddenly felt like you had just kicked a puppy. Was that a little harsh? Maybe. Was it accurate? Unfortunately, it was.

Still, you couldn’t help but feel bad, your compassion prevailing. You and Thomas may have had moments where you didn’t see eye to eye, but he was a good and loyal friend to you. There was no need to hit him where it hurt.

“I’m sorry…” You breathed out, giving him a forlorn, apologetic look.

Thomas only shrugged in response, eyes momentarily averting to the ground “No, you’re right. I just…” He inhaled, deeply, his hand reaching up to rub the back of his head in irritation “I just don’t want you to get hurt, that’s all.”

You delivered him a soft smile, touched by his concern, even though there was no need for it. At least not in that regard “Gally is not going to hurt me.”

Your friend responded with a tight-lipped smile that read ‘I hope that’s true’, before turning away and beginning to walk back to the room the rest of your friends were in. You were about to follow him, until… you realized how badly you needed just a few minutes alone with Gally, before you, him, Thomas, and Newt would venture into the city. You didn’t know just how dangerous the path was, and you couldn’t bear the idea of something terrible happening along the way. Sure, you could be optimistic and wait until after you all got back, but… could you? Could you really? You had missed him so much, and so far you’d only managed to say a few words to each other.

Oh, screw it. You were not asking for much. You needed it, so you were going to take it.

With a quick look-around, you turned on your heels, following in the direction you thought you’d seen Gally go. Sadly, as you reached the spot where he had disappeared from your line of vision, you had no idea where to go from there.

People were bustling all around you, some reloading their rifles, others fixing their gas masks. In one of the rebels, you recognized the guy that had stood behind Lawrence, while you all were being introduced to him, earlier. You thought his name was… Jasper? Whatever. Clearly he knew Gally, so you hoped he would know where he would have gone to.

You cleared your throat, striding up to him with as much confidence as you had been able to gather “Hi! I’m sorry, do you know where Gally’s room is? Or… wherever it is that he sleeps around here?”

The rugged man looked you up and down, a strangely amused smirk curving his slightly crooked mouth. It confused you and almost made you feel uncomfortable, but not enough to make you retreat without an answer.

“You must be the girlfriend? From the maze? The one he wouldn’t shut up about finding?” He rasped, snickering under his breath.

You relaxed, inwardly, glad that you had apparently picked the right person to ask. Also, hearing that Gally had mentioned you during his time here, undoubtedly made you smile on the inside.

“Yeah, I guess that’s me. So where can I find him?”

The rebel chuckled, pointing upwards to the corridor a level above that led to the more secluded parts of the base “Right up there, seventh door on the left.”

You muttered a quiet ‘Thank you’ before scurrying off, hoping you would, in fact, find him there. Soon, you made your way down the corridor, your gaze bouncing from one door to the next one. Five, six… seven.

Your heartbeat suddenly began quickening as you stared at the tattered, scratched-up door in front of you. You allowed yourself to take a deep breath before finally knocking.

“Yeah?”

You exhaled in relief, a smile instantly making its way onto your lips. Gally’s voice. He was in there.

“Gally…? It’s me. Can I come in?”

After a short pause, he replied.

“Of course. I’m just about done here.”

You pushed the door open with a slight ‘creak’, and there you were met with a sight that brought a burgeoning blush to your cheeks. Gally’s bare back was turned to you as he was changing, about to reach for a grey hoodie that was draped over an old wooden chair. You could see his toned muscles tensing, every crevice generously offered to your view, as you felt your face grow hotter. He looked even stronger than he did back in the glade, his form even more glorious than you remembered it.

You didn’t get to remain in your trance for too long though, as Gally slipped the hoodie over his head and turned around to face you, a loving grin playing at his lips.

“How’d you know where to find me?” He arched a curious brow, making his way over until he was standing right in front of you.

You smiled and took a step closer, minimising the distance between the two of you and gently taking his hand in yours. Your fingers interlocked perfectly, like puzzle pieces. “Jasper told me.”

Gally chuckled at that, eyes widening in slight surprise “You know his name?”

You shrugged “I pay attention.”

His grin widened, warmth filling his eyes as he gazed down at you, giving your hand a tight, grounding squeeze “You always have.”

Your heart raced faster as you raked your gaze over every feature of his face, each faint freckle on his cheeks, his plump lips, his vibrant eyes… You couldn’t help yourself as you threw your arms around him, Gally not wasting a second in wrapping you up in his strong embrace. He held you so fervently, so close to his body, you thought he was almost lifting you off the ground. So many emotions swirled between you two - the relief of both of you somehow having survived every hardship up until this point, the joy of having found your way back to one another, the desperate urge to never let go of each other again, the fear of somehow getting separated along the way of whatever came next. You felt a small shudder pass through your body as you clung to him for dear life, tucking your head into the crook of his neck.

“I’ve missed you… Gally, I’ve missed you so much…!” You uttered on half a breath, succumbing to the compelling warmth that emanated from him.

“I’ve missed you, too, Y/N… More than anything.” He whispered so close to your ear, his arms around you tightening as he slowly rocked you from side to side, making sure you felt how much he meant it.

Tears were beginning to well up in your eyes, in spite of your best attempts at keeping them at bay “I’d spent months thinking you were… Dead… I-I thought it was over, you were gone, I’d never see you again…!”

Gally released a fervid sigh, at last picking you up and allowing you to wrap your legs around his midriff as he nuzzled his face into your shoulder “I know, baby, I know… But I’m okay, I’m right here. And you are, too…”

You stifled a sob, pressing your slightly trembling lips to his temple, basking in the feeling of his heated breath fanning your skin “I’m scared I’m gonna wake up any moment, and you won’t be there. It’s already happened too many times…”

“Won’t happen this time. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, Y/N…” He promised, lifting his head from your neck so that he could meet your glimmering eyes “I’m not gonna screw it up twice.”

You let out a quivering breath as you gazed into the eyes that reflected all the unyielding love you harbored. Every nerve in your body pulled you into Gally, every thump of your heart resonated within him as he held you in his arms. This was the feeling you thought had been lost forever to you. Something so powerful and burning that no other force could compare to it. He was the piece of your heart that had been ripped out all those months ago, the piece that was now being graciously returned to its rightful place.

With a tenderness no one else but you has ever shown him, you cupped his face in between your soft palms and leaned in, your lips pressing fully and ardently against his.

The long-overdue kiss instantly clouded Gally’s senses, his heart hammering against his rib cage as his lips reciprocated, moving against yours with enough passion and longing to make your head spin. Your legs tightened around his midsection as his left hand moved lower to grasp at your hip, endeavouring to bring you even closer, as if that was possible. Gally swallowed the soft whimper that escaped you as he kissed you deeper, all his conscious thought paralyzed by the enrapturing sensation of your lips on his. He didn’t believe anything in the world tasted sweeter. He had spent countless nights dreaming about the day he would get to do this again. And now that he had you back, just like this, so close, so yearning, so thoroughly his… he wished it would never end.

Your fingertips threaded through the short sandy strands of his hair, your body feeling weightless, almost floating. You bit back a mewl as Gally’s hand reached up to your face, his calloused fingers brushing your cheek and trailing down your neck in a feather-light caress. Every bit of your skin felt so sensitive to his touch. After a few more blissful seconds, you finally broke away from his lips, both of you panting heavily, catching your breath from the heavenly feeling of your kiss.

Gally rested his forehead against yours, his mouth still mere inches away from your own “I’m never losing you again… Never, you hear me?”

You nodded, frantically, holding onto his neck with both hands, his closeness filling you with a searing light. It exhilarated you, made you feel like you could do anything, overcome anything, as long as you two were together.

“Sounds good to me…”

Thank you for reading!

Tags: @seldomabsent @obsessivelycapricious @ultraintrovertedgryffindor @maraudersimp @lattsgocaps @magnoliabloomfield @sherbertscarrothead-2 @moobrvoobl-moobmoob-oobmpoobroom @abundantxadorations @izzymultifan @willseyebrows @annoyinglythoughtfuldestiny

#the maze runner #tmr gally #the death cure #gally imagine #gally x reader #gally tmr #gally x fem!reader #gally x you #gally x y/n #tmr gally imagine #gally fanfic #gally #will poulter #tmr imagine #gally the death cure

[tooweirdforyou]

Maybe » Aomine Daiki

Aomine Daiki x Chubby! Fem! Reader

A/N : hi! My second non one piece fic so yay, I’m happy it’s for KnB and Aomine! Please enjoy! :3

note : I had soooo many ideas for thisssss but instead of my original idea, I went for something a little more Cliché ;-;

Summary : after being friends with Aomine for so long and developing feelings, you keep shut about them and protect your friendship. And then, Aomine finds out about what’s been happening.

-

“Daiki, would you get up already?”

No response came from dark blue haired athlete other than the gentle snores that escaped his lips.

You roll your eyes and went to pick up the women’s magazine that was opened across his face, just as the tan one sighs heavily and grunts out.

“Oi.. [Name]? Where’s Satsuki?” He groans, turning onto his side and pulls off the magazine from his face.

He takes a look to see the page he was looking at to be one of those thicker, curvy models.

You sigh and walk around to face him, kneeling in front of him once again, your thick thighs exposing itself from your skirt.

“She’s managing the boys at practice. She asked me to come get you.”

Aomine grunts out in annoyance at your words and looks up to see your face, staring down at him. He moved onto his back and continues looking at you.

“...”

His silence makes you smile a bit in defeat and exhale. “Come on, sleeping beauty, you need to get to practice. Otherwise, Satsuki will have my ass.”

“I’m too tired.” Aomine mutters, turning back onto his side, turning so he faced you this time and stares up at you lazily.

Examining your features in silence, Aomine took in your appearance at the moment.

There wasn’t a readable expression on his face so you couldn’t guess what he was thinking. His staring did cause your cheeks to pinken as his eyes shifted down.

He eyes your legs for a moment, the staring hard enough to make you shift to ignore it, as you poked him.

“Come on, just get up, please?” You plead making Aomine pout and close his eyes to avoid your expression. “I don’t care, I don’t wanna..” he sulks quietly.

You heave a heavy sigh and pat your skirt down and hum, leaning close to his face, his eyes still shut.

“I’ll buy you the latest issue of the swimsuit catalog for you~” you sang, in hopes of convincing him to get you.

The blue haired athlete opens an eye to come face to face with you, inches away, and seeing how close you were to him causes him to swallow and turn away, covering his eyes with his arms.

Fortunately, it seems it worked.

“...hmph, idiot.. I want the latest issue of the swimsuit catalog, the lingerie catalog, and I want bread..” He announces, pulling up his hand and bringing down a finger for each one he counted.

You roll your eyes playfully at him, and you held your pinky out for him. “Stupid pervert, it’s a deal.”

Aomine merely grins and moves his arm to face you again, connecting his pinky with yours and you both kissed your thumbs. Something you two did together since you were kids.

“I’ll be waiting.” Aomine grunts as he forces himself up and dusts his clothes, holding his hand out for you to take. “You better remember.”

You lift your hand to take his and helped yourself up, dusting your skirt. “Don’t worry, I won’t. I don’t think I could forget my best friend’s perverted desires.”

“You think too low of me.” Aomine furrows his brows as he began headed to the ladder.

“Do I?”

“Idiot.”

Shrugging, you head down after him, being sure to threaten him if he even dared look up at you as you climbed down, and headed to the gymnasium together.

—

Gently setting down your things on the ground by the door, jacket and cellphone, you went over to greet the coach and players.

“[Name]! Daiki!”

The pink haired manager runs over excitedly, practically bouncing with joy and stars in her eyes at the sight of them.

“You managed to convince him! Thanks so much!”

“Tch, you can’t even get me yourself, making [Name] do all the work.” Aomine scoffs and Satsuki pouts. “I’m busy doing my job and managing the others boys! Besides, only [Name] knows best how to get you to come.”

The pinkette widens her eyes and turns to you. “How did you manage to get him anyways?”

You gave a side glance to Aomine, who was too busy yawning and looking away to notice and you simply shrug. “He knows better.”

Satsuki just giggles a bit and grabs your hands, her clipboard tucked under her arm. “Thanks so much again, [Name]. I owe you one.”

“No problem, Satsuki.” You smile softly at her and watch her pull away to begin pushing Aomine to change.

“Alright, alright, stop pushing me.” Aomine grumbles as he walks forward, stumbling every few steps. He then turns back to give a smirk to you. “Keep your promise, you!”

“Of course I will!” You scoff, waving at him and smiling nonetheless, and began to head out after bidding goodbye to the other players and the coach.

Passing the viewers from up top, you hear particular comments.

“What promise could that fat girl make with Aomine?”

“Can’t be to spread her legs for him.. no guy would want a big girl like that.”

“Obviously. How does Aomine even know a piggy like her anyways?”

Their hushed voices and obvious stares only make you smile forcefully and walk out silently, ignoring their comments.

It wasn’t like it was the first time you heard something like that.

-

As soon as you open your locker, you find a couple notes slipping out from being held in place. You glance down before crouching and picked each one up, reading them as you did so.

‘Get some exercise, piggy!’

‘Lay off the foods for a while already.’

‘How can you stand to be so big? How does anything fit you?’

The bitter smile that formed from the sight made your heart heavy but you didn’t say a word.

It was a regular occurrence anyways.

It didn’t make you feel any better, considering your walk over to your locker, other students in the halls were pointing and staring over at you, as if you were a display.

As if it was strange to see someone like you there, someone big, where everyone else was thin.

You rip them up in two and set the pieces aside in your locker, grabbing your bag. About to shut your locker, you find the printed sheets Satsuki asked you to do and sigh.

“Better now before I forget..” you mumble to yourself, taking the ripped pieces and the printed sheets into your separate hands and closed your locker.

Slinging the strap of the bag over your shoulder, you begin heading back to the gymnasium so you could finally get home afterwards.

The gossiping whispers didn’t stop. Didn’t they have somewhere to be instead of loitering the halls?

Choosing to distract yourself, you thought about Aomine. The tall, tan, dark blue-haired athlete. It still made you surprised at your friendship but it was one of the best things that happened to you.

It was genuine, Satsuki and Aomine truly appreciated you and you appreciated them, there wasn’t anything you wouldn’t do for them.

The only you could regret was your developing feelings for the athlete. An athlete dating a chubby girl? Even you could laugh thinking about it.

However, you figured Satsuki had the same, so you could only suppress them.

Plus, you didn’t want to ruin Aomine’s image.

It seems you distracted yourself too much, because as soon as you turned the corner, you bumped into someone, causing the two of you to stumble back, the both of you falling.

“O-Oh, I’m so so-“ despite you also falling, you look to the opposite person to apologize, but you were cut off by her scream.

“Oh my gosh! She touched me! Oh my gosh, get away from me, fat girl! You could’ve crushed me!”

The other girl, seemingly her friend, quickly helped her up and both glared hard down at me.

“W-What? I-“

“Are you seriously talking to me? Oh my gosh, Sera, let’s go to the locker rooms so I can wash this filth off me.” The other girl nods as they begin to walk off, but a third voice cuts in.

“Let me help you with that.”

Before any of you could react, the rude girl was suddenly soaked with water, emitting a surprised shriek from her once again.

“What the fuck?! What the fuck are you-!” The three of you turned to see a particular tanned male and your eyes widen.

“Daiki?!”

“Aomine!”

His ignorance towards you made you furrow your eyebrows, his attention kept on the two girls.

“There, all cleaned, now get the hell out of here.”

It was clear the girls were stunned at Aomine’s attitude and overall appearance, but even worse, was his piercing, sharp glare sent to them that sent shivers down their spine, and even you could feel a bit of goosebumps.

“Aomine.. we were just—“

“I don’t really care. Get lost already, it’s a bother to hear your voice.” His glare immediately disappears and he rolls his eyes, turning away with disinterest.

The girls gaped at that and quickly scurried off, you barely noticing her tears from her wet skin.

Once the girls were gone for good, Aomine immediately turns to you, making you startled. His gaze down at you makes you a bit uncomfortable but you continued to stare at him.

“Daiki.. what are you doing-?..”

His stride towards you makes you stop your words and watch him grab your wrist and help you up to your feet.

And then suddenly, he pins you to the wall, hand still gripping your wrist and other placing itself beside your head.

His lazy, unreadable expression is plastered as he leans close. His eyes flick back and forth between yours, as if it’s searching for something.

His peripherals then catch sight of the ripped papers and he snatches them away, pulling away to read the writing.

“H-Hey! Daiki!”

The athlete doesn’t say anything and you can’t reach for it back because he’s so tall.

Aomine silently connects the papers together and reads the full text, and you can’t see his expression since he turns away, but you find his hands clenched tightly into fists, muscles tensed and veins forming as he crushed the papers.

It scares you a little bit to see, so you try to calm him down, placing a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, it’s fine, okay? It doesn’t bother me anymore, so just-“

“Anymore?.. so it has before?” Aomine scoffs. You flinch and sigh. “Maybe, but look, I don’t care about it so let’s drop it, okay?”

Aomine clicks his tongue and turns around to look at you, an irritated yet pained expression taking over. You could actually read it.

“You know... you really are an idiot.”

You pout at that and frown. “The nickname really is unnecessary. You’ve been calling me that since I tripped over my own to feet and spilled my ice cream on myself when we were like, twelve.”

“Because you really were an idiot then! You tripped over nothing.”

“I tripped over some rocks, you jerk!” You scowl, shoving him which caused a small smile to form despite his pained expression seconds prior. His heart still ached knowing you were being bullied like this.

Aomine just shrugs and walks off, making you surprised. “W-Wait, why’d you even come here anyways? You should be at practice.” You began jogging after him.

He stops suddenly, lifting something off his shoulder. It was your jacket and your phone was in his hand, having taken it out from his pocket just now.

“You left it in the gym earlier. I didn’t want you to freak out and forget, and then not text me when you got home safe.”

Your eyes widen at you recall placing it down by the door. “Oh..” you must’ve forgotten when you were ignoring those girls from before. “Thanks..”

You reach up to take it from his hands and think back on his words, tightening your grip on your belongings. Aomine gives a long glance to you before taking your hand.

He holds it up and pressed his palm against yours quietly, you watching silently as he slowly intertwined your fingers and wraps his arm around your body. The action was enough to cause your cheeks to warm but you didn’t protest.

Pulling you close, he tightens his embrace, afraid to let go. “Hey, I..” he pauses for a moment, leaning down more so he was by your ear.

He thought for a few seconds before deciding to change his mind. Aomine shuts his eyes and relaxed himself.

“Nevermind.. just get home safe.. and promise to tell me if something like this happens again. Okay?”

His voice is a whisper, and you can’t see his face but you can hear his weak tone.

“I will.. I promise.”

You slowly pull away and held out your pinky again, smiling softly when he connects his with yours and kissed his thumb.

You thought about confessing to him. Now is the perfect time, isn’t it?.. but, the small fraction of you that’s scared, overpowers your confidence and you just smile at your friend.

“I’ll text you when I get home. Thanks again, and give this to Satsuki when you get back.” Handing the printed sheets to him, you take a step back and wave, slowly turning.

“See you tomorrow, Daiki.”

“..Yeah.. See you.”

You both turn away from each other in the hall, both wearing a somewhat pained expression for similar reasons and shared the same thoughts.

‘Maybe one day... one day I’ll confess to him/her..’

—

A/N : this is all over the place and not really meshing well together but look, I’m tired. I literally got the vaccine recently and I’m so freaking sore.

Also, is it normal to have chills? The next day, I was FREEZING all day.

#tooweirdforyou #knb x reader #knb aomine #kuroko no basket #kuroko no basket x reader #kuroko’s basketball #aomine daiki #aomine daiki x reader #x reader #knb writing #kuroko no basket writing #aomine x reader

[retrogalwrites]

ex boyfriend!Touya x reader

Title: “ Fool me once, then again and again “ / view on ao3

Pairing: Touya x f! reader

Summary: You are dating Natsuo Todoroki, and you finally get to meet his family, everything was going well. Until you realize you have already met his older brother Touya before.

Warnings: dubcon, slight yandere, manipulation, gaslighting, blackmail, cheating, cuckolding, corruption, mindbreak of sorts, toxic ex boyfriend relationship

Other contents: creampie, rough sex, tit slapping, sub/dom, masochism

words: 6,826

For the longest time, you had believed that those stories of people finding true love were nothing but total bullshit.

After all, in a sea of hookups, uncommitted relationships and one night stands, it was almost laughable to think that anyone out there was going to somehow be the one and only. You went through college with nothing but bad relationships and heartbreak under your belt, things you would've rather left forgotten. By the time you had graduated, you managed to land a job, and were happy living on your own, there were no expectations from you towards love, not at all.

Until you met Natsuo Todoroki.

It was an unexpected meeting, much like out of those same cheesy romantic movies that you had always mocked. You two bumped into each other at a coffee shop, a guy that you had never seen before who spilled his coffee all over you, awkwardly apologized a hundred times, invited you to watch a movie, and the rest was history. You always teased him over it too, how his clumsiness somehow helped him to get a girlfriend. Watching him go all red in the face never failed to make you laugh.

Natsuo was the most wonderful boyfriend you could've asked for, easily topping any other relationship you had in the past. Despite being the son of a hero, and not just any hero but the number one hero of the country, Natsuo was humble and friendly, just living like an average guy and working hard as a nurse at the nearby hospital. Someone that you wouldn't even think had a family with the sort of money and influence the Todorokis were known for.

He also was always so sweet and gentle, funny too, a lovable big guy that treated you with so much care. Even during sex, he only ever made the most tender love to you, like you were a precious thing, a treasure that could break if he was too rough.

And you loved it, truly, you loved him, knew he felt very much the same too. Because he gathered the courage to introduce you to his family officially.

You two arrived at the Todoroki state on a cold Friday evening, just in time for dinner. There you were going to meet everyone and stay for the weekend.

His father, the number one hero Endeavor, was much like what he looked like on television. Big, rough and intimidating, but treated you with good manners. Then his mother, Rei, a soft-spoken woman that welcomed you kindly, she was friendly much like her son. Things seemed tense between them underneath the surface, expectedly so, since you knew from Natsuo that they were going through a divorce. It made their attempts at cohabitation just to make you feel comfortable at least appreciated.

His big sister, Fuyumi, was much like him too, sweet and gentle, a nice girl that made you feel right away at home, so excited to finally meet you. Then last but not least was his little brother, Shouto, a quiet but nice boy who tried his best to do small talk when he had to. You could tell that he at least was welcoming of you, which was good enough.

It was awkward at first, you were nervous to be dealing with them at first but you had managed entire thing just fine so far, much to your relief, as well as Natsuo's.

However, the last relative in the household had yet to arrive, the eldest sibling, and Natsuo's older, Touya. Apparently it was nothing out of the ordinary for him to be so unfashionably late, and dinner would not be put on hold just because he couldn't bother to show up on time, as Endeavor had put it. Even Natsuo seemed to reluctantly agree with his father on that regard.

Natsuo had told you before, about his brother's unruly behavior and a bit on an intense attitude, calling him a hellraiser. He had been only a bit worried that if you met him, you'd be slightly put off. Naturally you assured him it would be fine.

But it was only when you saw the guy that you understood just what a grave mistake you had made.

Only then that you realized that all the cheesy romance, all that stuff from the movies, really came with a price.

Right there, waltzing into the dinning room without a single care in the world, long strides and hands inside his pockets. The raven dyed hair, the piercings, the tattoos, even the smell of smoke and cinders filling your nostrils, it was all familiar, too familiar.

It was your ex boyfriend, Dabi.

Blue eyes fixated on your face almost instantly, stared and burned a hole right through your soul. A knowing look on his features, lips curling into a crooked grin, sardonic and throughly amused, a glint of joy in a face you had hoped to never see again.

"Well, well, well! So this is the girlfriend? Now I see why our little Natsu is so smitten."

Touya drawled, slowly like savoring every syllable, a type of teasing that tasted deliciously on his tongue. Just the sound of his voice,so low and raspy from the cigarettes you knew he always smoked, was making your heart race with anxiety and anger.

Touya took his seat at the dinning table. He deliberately took the chair in front of you just to watch you, of course he would, you had almost expected him to. Eyes still fixated on you, he plopped his elbows on the table and leaned on the surface, and you were so grateful for the table keeping him from getting any closer.

"Where did you even find this hottie, bro? I may just go there and get one of my own."

Heat rose to your cheeks, burning and painting your skin red with something like indignation, but to the others probably seemed just like shy demure. Yet in contrast to your body's temperature, on the inside it was like the blood in your veins had turned into ice, a violent shiver running down your spine that felt like high voltage, you gripped your thighs with both hands just to keep yourself from shaking.

"Touya don't be rude..." Fuyumi grimaced, sighing. This behavior clearly was nothing new to them, it seemed, but it was nothing new to you either.

"This is [Name], be nice." Rei joined the attempt to get the male to behave, probably for your sake.

In reality, you wished they wouldn't be trying to intervene, but you couldn't blame them either for not knowing something you desperately didn't want any of them to know.

Specially not Natsuo.

But you couldn't just get up and run, Touya knew you were trapped.

"Oh? Well, ain't that a pretty name? You probably already know who I am though, right?"

It was so cruelly calculated, every word spoken, a man already set out to make sure you squirmed in your seat.

"I'm Natsuo's big brother, I bet he talks about me all the time! This lil guy sure loves me."

"Oh please, I only told her how annoying you can be." Natsuo scoffed, rolling his eyes with the unconcerned, even if embarrassed, nature of someone who had no idea what was happening beneath the surface.

"But really, I'm proud of our little bro for scoring this high, y'know what I mean, Natsu?"

You looked down, unable to meet his gaze any longer.

"K-Knock it off, Touya." Natsuo grabbed your hand from underneath the table, and you almost jumped from the sudden contact, almost expecting to be burned. But it was cold, your beloved Natsuo's cool touch, and when you turned to look at him, he smiled at you with a gentle, apologetical smile. Probably thinking his brother's banter had caused you to feel uncomfortable. And while it was the right thought, he really had no idea.

Still, his touch grounded you back from the anxious dread that had been growing in your mind so quickly, and you felt like smiling back at him.

You loved Natsuo, you really did.

Suddenly a hand was extended towards you, and it took all of your will power not to flinch. Your attention cruelly ripped away from your boyfriend to stare at Touya's hand, waiting for a handshake.

The dread had returned, you didn't even realize you were staring.

"Sorry, sorry, let's keep the brother talk for later, m'kay?" He smirked at Natsuo, then turned at you to add, hand still out waiting for you to take it, he knew you had to take it.

"It's nice to meet you, [Name]."

You felt everyone's eyes on you, watching you, and resignation was your only answer. Cautiously, you were reaching out to him, held his hand in a hesitant hold.

The moment his rough skin brushed against yours, you felt it, again. A wave of heat spreading through your body like wildfire, just like you remembered from years past, that warm sensation tingling at your nerves, filling your lungs, the pit of your stomach.

It was nothing like Natsuo's cold touch, it was hot, burning, scorching.

"Um, yes. N-Nice to meet you too." You let go of him immediately, stumbling over your words and trying not to glare.

"Yep, really nice to meet my new sister in law."

"That's enough, Touya." The stern, booming voice of Endeavor silenced everyone at the table, specially the eldest son. "We are having dinner right now, have the decency to behave."

Endeavor could be quite scary, but you were much grateful for the intervention. Unlike Touya, of course, who immediately had tensed up, gritted his teeth with brows furrowed into a sour expression for a second, before that carefree look was back on his face, it was so quickly that you wondered if you had imagined it.

"Wait, are they getting married already?" Shouto quipped all of the sudden with genuine confusion, endearingly so.

Almost everyone seemed to be amused by the comment, even Touya, and some teasing looks were thrown at Natsuo, who had turned beet red from the embarrassment.

You found yourself a little embarrassed too, in a much lighter hearted way and that was a welcome change, it almost made you forget that feeling of someone's piercing blue eyes staring at you.

 ——————

 Natsuo would touch your hand or your knee all through the night, smiling at you and gazing at your face with those loving eyes that could melt your heart. And yet, Touya made sure that your attention wasn't taken off him for long. Trying to rope you in conversation that held cruel double meaning, kept only pushing your buttons with sadistic glee.

You had to take a break, urgently, so you excused yourself with the pretenses of going to the bathroom.

You got up from your seat and rushed out the dinning room and into the hallways, not even really noticing that Natsuo had asked if you needed someone to show you were the bathroom was located.

You needed a moment alone to gather your thoughts, get your shit together. So you walked further into the huge Todoroki residence, looking for the nearest bathroom, though finding it was really not all that important in the end. As long as you were away from Touya for a bit, you would be fine.

Touya. A name foreign on your tongue, unlike Dabi. It upset you, and that on itself upset you even more, not only to know what an idiot you had been so many years ago, but that you still cared. But, could you be blamed? Could you be judged? When this jerk had to show up now, of all times, and——

"Hey baby, bathroom is the other way."

You stopped on your tracks, freezing on the spot. Your mouth felt dry and your hands balled into fists. That dreaded voice's hot breath feeling like it was tickling the shell of your ear, but you reacted only when you felt the brush of his warm hand placing itself on your shoulder.

Practically jumping away, you removed yourself from his touch, turning around to face that same amused grin you wished to smack off his face. That same grin that used to give your butterflies.

"Why did you follow me?" You spoke with a voice full of annoyance, bolder and direct, now that the rest of the family was out of earshot, you could at least give yourself the indulgence of expressing your feelings.

"Leave me alone, just...leave me alone, would you?"

Touya laughed. Of course he laughed. You didn't know what else you had expected. He had always done the same thing, laugh at your distress and mock you for it.

"Woah, now! Calm down, this is my house, are you trying to kick me out my own house?"

He jokingly raised his hands, didn't bother to hide his amusement, a broad smile that stretched from ear to ear. You only sighed with exasperation.

"You know that's not what I mean. God, you're still such an asshole."

You shook your head, but he simply shrugged dispassionately, dismissively. You hadn't even taken notice of your clenched fists, knuckles had begun to turn white, anger bubbling inside you just like it used to back in the day.

"Dunno what you got against me, I mean you're the one that came here willingly, remember? No one told you to go date my brother." You could've sworn he almost sounded resentful, but he had no right to be.

"I didn't know. I mean, how could I have? You clearly never told me your actual name Dabi, oh I'm sorry, I mean Touya." He never really told you anything substancial about himself in hindsight, and you felt like an even bigger fool, for having overlooked that along every other glaring red flag he carried around. Your own conflicted feelings made you miss the way something in his blue eyes flickered, tongue running over his lower lip.

"Well, it wasn't a big deal. It's not like it mattered, did it? We had a lot of fun anyway." He chuckled lowly, openly leering at you and making you blush from anger.

"Fun? Seriously, you call that fun?!" You laughed in disbelief, a bitter sound. "After all the crap you put me through, you just ended up dumping me. No, fuck your fun."

His expression turned dark then, a shadow over his eyes that had narrowed just slightly. His amusement had become annoyance.

"The crap I put you through? I don't recall you ever complaining when you begged for my cock like a damn college whore."

"That's not—!!"

"What, not true? Oh but I remember it very well. You'd always be so needy for my cock, letting me fuck you just whenever I wanted, heh, wherever I wanted too. Like a dumb bitch in heat. Come on, we both were on it for the sex more than anything. Now you're acting all high and mighty? Shit ain't cute babe."

It was like a punch in the gut that sucked all the air out of you, it rendered you speechless for a moment, shame and anger inside of you making your body shake. Had it really been like that? No, you did all those things because you were a stupid girl in love back then.

It was exhausting suddenly having to explain yourself to yourself, you didn't have the mental strength for it. You brought your fingers to pinch the bridge of your nose, sighing wearily. It was foolish of you to shut your eyes for even second however, just trying to gather your jumbled thoughts like that, because Touya took it as an invitation to close the distance between the two.

A sudden, familiar feeling of warmth enveloped your body, his arms circling around your waist and pulling you against his broad chest. But it was not a gentle touch, he was squeezing you in his hold to make sure he had you caged. You gasped, every muscle in your body tensing up like a frightened prey in a wolf's grasp. Your body felt hot.

"You're so cold, sugartits. Are you seriously not happy to see me? Not one bit?"

He spoke so softly all of sudden, you knew he was trying to appease you. He rested his chin on the crown of your head as he held you, one of his hands taking purchase of your hair, pulling at it just enough that you felt a slight sting in your scalp. Your lips parted slightly, a moan almost attempting to escape.

"Let me go, and don't call me that." You tried wiggling out of his hold, to push him off you, but he only tightened his grip.

"Call you what? Sugartits? Aww, but you used to love it."

Purring like a cat, you felt the smell of cigarettes and cinders invading your nostrils, bringing back vivid memories of the many times he used you hold you down to smooth-talk his way out of trouble, hold you down and fuck you senseless until you forgot whatever it was that you were mad about.

The thought alone frightened you to the bone, the realization of the sort of memories Touya was pulling out of you so effortlessly. The heat enveloping your body felt like it was burning you, threatening to cremate you with his quirk. It was nothing like Natsuo's cold touch and you hated it.

You couldn't let him keep holding you like that, it was wrong, it was dangerous, and gathering all your strength, you placed your hands on his chest to get him off. It didn't work, he only laughed at your attempt.

"Come on, do you really hate me that much? I just want to talk, honest. Don't you want to talk this out?" Looking up at him, the expression you saw was serious, soft, something you had only seen back when you were with him a few times. Touya was dangling the hope for closure above your head like a dog's treat, and you took the bait.

"What is there to talk about? You dumped me after fucking me for months, just to chase more tail." You a soft murmur from your lips, resignation. You felt his chest heave with a satisfied huff.

"Well yeah, but I tried to call you, you changed your number."

"Because I knew you just wanted to hook up."

"Well, you got me there." He chuckled, completely unashamed and it didn't even begin to surprise you.

"I did really like you back then, you know? And you broke my fucking heart." It was useless to tell him that, and yet you did.

"I liked you too, but you know that I'm a bastard baby, it's just my nature."

You frowned, there was no comfort in his words or even a sense of guilt from him, just the factual reality of things. You had been an idiot for getting involved with him, but it wasn't like you hadn't known that from the start. It still upset you, but the more you thought about it, the more you felt it was necessary to just let it be if you ever hoped to survive the night.

"I don't care what you do, in fact I'd rather we both forget anything ever happened. Just...don't ruin this for me." The plea in your voice was genuine, a heartfelt request, lowered lashes as you looked down before biting your lip. "Don't tell Natsuo about this, please. That's all I ask."

Touya went stiff against you, a hum purring at the back of his throat almost as if he had found your words no short of fascinating. You looked upwards to meet his gaze, he seemed pensive, while your expression was surprised.

"You really love him, huh? Lucky him, to think that used to be me." He chuckled, rolling his shoulders with a sense of light-hearted acceptance, the amusement had returned to that lazy grin. "I wasn't planning on ruining anything for my lil' bro, give me some credit. I just couldn't help teasing you a bit."

Admittedly you hadn't thought of it that way, that maybe even if Touya had no loyalty towards you, for his family he held enough of it to avoid crossing a line like that. It almost made you feel ashamed of yourself, how conceited it probably looked that you had assumed Touya really would care about fucking with you over his sibling's happiness.

For the first time that night, you felt hopeful, a sigh of relief that left your lips carried away all the weight you had on your shoulders.

"Well, then...thank you." A truthful feeling of gratitude. You even forced yourself to subtly smile at Touya, and you though for a second that his eyes softened at the sight. But then he just waved his hand at you dismissively.

"By the way, I wasn't joking earlier. The bathroom is that door over there. If you still want to use it."

You had almost forgotten about that, and while you had no need to go, part of you still needed some time alone to take in all that had happened in just one night so far.

There was slight hesitation, a feeling in your gut that told you not to. And you ignored it, like you ignored all the red flags in the past.

Nodding at Touya, you turned around and headed for the bathroom, but he called out to you again immediately.

"Wait, let me help you open it, that one door always gets stuck." Not even waiting for an answer he fumbled with the knob for a bit before it opened, Touya stepped to the side to let you in.

And then, just as you were crossing the doorframe, muttering a soft 'thanks', you were pushed inside the room by two large hands.

You yelped, stumbling over your feet and tripping onto a soft surface. The moonlight filtered through a narrow window enough to letting you see that you were not in a bathroom at all, but instead in what seemed to be a bedroom, may a guest room? You had no idea. The soft surface under your knees was definitely a futon at least. Confused and panicking you turned around to try getting up and rush out that room, just in time to see Touya walking in, closing the door and locking it behind him.

You felt the room's temperature go up.

"T-Touya? Touya!" You spoke once in confusion, then in anger. He tricked you, and you fell for it like and idiot, all over again. "Fuck you, I knew you were trying to pull something like this."

"You are really funny, sugartits. Seriously." Slowly, in long strides, he approached you. Completely ignoring your protests. "Saying that you love Natsuo with that innocent look on your face, really? What a comedian."

"What are you—?!"

Getting on his knees in from if you, Touya grabbed you by the jaw, squeezing your cheeks and roughly forcing you to look at him in the eye. That bruising touch you knew so well, it made your chest start tightening and face to burn red.

Looking at Touya in that dim light made you shiver, he had an horrifyingly wide smile, baring his teeth. You could feel the steam coming out of his nostrils, and for a moment you were afraid he'd actually set the place on fire.

"Do you think you can just go saying shit like that when I know just what a slut you are for my cock?"

He laughed mockingly, and yet the condescending tone dropping off his words made you realize it was an statement full of endearment.

"No, I'm not!" You struggled to pull away from him, clawing at his hand around your jaw, but he was just much stronger than you, always had been. "That was a long time ago, I was stupid. That wasn't real, what I have with Natsuo is real."

"So you say." Rolling his eyes, he scoffed. Touya brought his lips to your forehead, giving you a chaste kiss, the softness of his lips and the cold metal of his lip piercings was something you wished to have forgotten, a whine almost left your lips. "But I know you missed me."

"I did not. Let me go!"

"You're so cruel, sugartits. 'Cause, I did miss you lots, y'know?"

It shouldn't have, it really shouldn't, but that statement made you pause, freeze on the spot and look at him confused and surprised. A meek 'what?' came from your lips. Touya took advantage of your momentary lack of resistance to roughly push you backwards with enough force that you were falling onto your back over the futon.

"I'll tell you the truth, even after I kept fucking bitches for a while after our 'break up', I realized that none of them really compared to you." He explained slowly, drawling each word with a raspy voice, your heart beating loudly in your ways almost drowned the sound.

"Turns out no other pussy felt like yours, so good and tight, god...best one I've ever had. Oh, and no one else was quite as much of a whore either to be honest, I mean shit, we used to get all down and dirty, remember?"

He pulled out his phone out of his pocket, and started to browse through it. You should've taken that chance to try escape, or at least kick his stupid face, but your body wasn't moving. The shock of what he was saying, petrified you, as did what you imagined he was doing.

"But you disappeared. So I've only had these to jerk off now and then, trying to imagine your nice pussy around my cock." He showed you the screen of his phone, and it was what you had been fearing the most.

Pictures of you, old pictures that Touya had taken years ago during sex. There were many, too many, you felt the world collapsing around you, as if you hadn't been already laying down, you would've collapsed with it for sure.

"Never thought I would see you again, imagine my surprise when Natsuo just came home with my favorite cumdumpster as girlfriend."

"I'm not yours!!"

You refuted passionately, he could insult you all he wanted, call you all sort of names, but you were not going to let him claim you as his belonging.

You were Natsuo's, no one else's, you told Touya, you told yourself.

You were trying to get back up, but Touya was already crawling above you and shoving the screen of his phone in your face, showing off those lewd pictures of yourself.

Pictures of you doing all sort of nasty sexual things with Touya.

"I wonder if my lil' bro would be thinking the same as you if he saw these though. I mean, you two love eachother right? I guess he probably won't mind..."

"Alright I get it, what do you want from me?"

That quick temper of yours made him huff a laugh, something like fondness in it. Well, you weren't so stupid as to not realize what was happening, what was Touya getting at. Swallowing the lump in your throat you tried to keep yourself from shaking, but having Touya above you like that was leaving you short of breath, heart hammering in your chest.

"Let me fuck you." He said so casually, putting the phone back into his pocket without even breaking eye contact. "Here and now, let me fuck you real good one last time."

You breathed through your nostrils, slowly, taking in the situation you were in. Taking in his outrageous words that gave you chills.

"You can't be serious..."

"I am very serious, sugartits. I just wanna bury myself inside your pussy, for old times' sake. C'mon, you don't even care about my cock anymore, right? It shouldn't change anything to give me one last pity-fuck."

It was surreal, ridiculous, atrocious, the entire thing. Yet, what other option did you have? Even if you screamed for help, it would mean Natsuo would find out about this, find you like this. You parted your lips to ask hesitantly.

"Only once...no more than that, right? And then you delete those pictures, promise me. Dammit, promise me Touya!!"

"Yeah, yeah, geez. I promise, just once, and these pictures will be gone forever." He spoke seriously, a longing look in his eyes behind the cockiness. "So, whaddaya say?"

"Alright."

Those were the words that would seal the deal, and Touya didn't really need any more than that to get started. You felt his lips coming down to attack you with urgency, planting an open mouthed kiss on your shoulder while he nuzzled his nose into the juncture of your neck, inhaling your scent in a big indulgent sniff.

"Fuck, you still using that shampoo with the vanilla? Mmm, it was my favorite." He purred loudly, a satisfied grin and hot breath against your skin.

You gasped, unable to keep yourself from reacting to the stimulation, your body remembering it all over again, squirming underneath his frame as he pinned you down. That sound you made had his cock twitching inside his pants, member already growing hard and throbbing with rushing blood. He made sure to let you know by rutting himself against your clothed pussy, his hardness big enough to poke at your entrance through the layers of clothing. You bit your lips, so hard you could've drawn blood, just too keep yourself from moaning at the friction, your pussy already becoming slick and dampening your panties.

Then he was pulling back, earning a confused sound out of you, which then turned to a cry when a large hand crept up to the top of your dress, pulling it down to free your breasts and let them bounce bare for him. You tried to cover yourself on instinct, but Touya caught both of your wrists and held them down.

"God, I had missed these two. Now I remember why I started calling you sugartits." He chuckled lowly, one hand letting go of your wrist just to grope one of your breasts.

Fingers roughly sinking into the soft flesh before he drew his hand back, and slapped your breast, hard. It made a dry sound only matched by the cry you tried to muffle with your free hand. It stung, it hurt, you could swear that it burned. Then he slapped the other breasts as well, flesh jiggling as the skin turned red and raw, nipples become hard and stiff.

"Fuck, Touya...!!" You hissed through gritted teeth, and he only laughed. "D-Don't do that so suddenly."

"What? You used to love that, don't tell me you and Natsu don't do shit like this?" Of course you didn't. It was so different that being with Natsuo, the heat, the roughness, it was nothing like when he gently made love to you. This was not what you wanted, not anymore, and yet...you felt that familiar arousal in your gut, the tingly sensation in your core as more slickness dripped from your folds.

Touya was soon leaning over one of your tender breasts, mouth latching to the nipple and teeth scrapping the pebbled skin around the puffy areolae, his tongue lapping around the nipple, you could feel his tongue-piercing against the skin. He hollowed his cheeks as he sucked with fervor into his greedy mouth, drool and spit coating your chest.

"Hey wait!! Don't leave marks, don't leave m—oooh!!" He growled against your breast and you felt his teeth bitting at the flesh, your toes curled and you threw your head back with a pitiful whine. That definitely was going to leave a mark, he did it on purpose.

Just like he purposely lifted the hem of your dress and ripped your panties off you like a savage. You hated the memories it brought, of the countless pairs of panties you had lost this way when you were with him, Natsuo never did things like this.

Natsuo was not like this, he was gentle and sweet and—

The abrupt feeling of two fingers breaching through your outer pussy lips and into the heat of your core had your back arching, eyes wide open and tears pricking your eyes because the sudden intrusion. Dabi's long digits slid inside of your pulsating walls, the slippery flesh wrapping around them as you involuntarily clamped down. You moaned, barely muffling the sound using now both of your hands to cover your mouth in a desperate attempt to stop making noises.

"Fuck, baby you are still tight as shit." He spoke with his mouth still muffled against your breast, you could feel the shit-eating grin on his face. "I thought I'd have to prepare you a little more, but you are nice and wet, ready for my cock."

No, you weren't ready. You didn't want to be ready, you were doing this for you and Natsuo, and that was it. Shaking your head, Touya only snickered mockingly, as if he knew better, but he didn't. He absolutely didn't, whatever you two had was in the past, and you didn't want to be fucked by any other man than your boyfriend!!

"Just make it quick, please..."

"That depends on how good you squeeze me, baby."

Touya pulled back, hands unbuckling his belts and pulling down his pants. Your eyes almost bulging out of your head at the sight of his hard cock as it sprung free, bobbing against his abdomen with a pearly dollop of precum dribbling from the supple head, his shaft was as long and thick as you remembered, a pulsating vein on the underside that went from the head to the bushy white hair at his base.

You hated yourself for moaning at the sight, for being so weak. Touya somehow didn't make fun on you for that, he was too busy grabbing your ankles and pulling you down towards him, his own eyes fixated on the sight of your soaked pussy. The look of his eyes was ravenous and absolutely enthralled, his breath had quickened as he stared at the pretty slick flesh, bringing his cock to your puffy pussy lips, sandwiching his it in between them and sliding himself up and down, coating himself in your wetness.

It was driving you crazy with need, a maddening need that was awakening after years. And something you hated yourself for, feeling that fire in your loins in a way you never felt with Natsuo. You hated yourself for wanting to be fucked the way Touya used to fuck you.

"Oh, baby. I'm not even inside and you're already squirming." He grinned down at you, watching you through half-lidded eyes burning with lust.

"Shut up! Please just...just...ohh."

You didn't know what were you were begging for, but it didn't matter when you felt the tip of his cock positioned at your entrance, before the feeling of him entering you slowly, he wanted your every muscle to feel every part of him. A violent wave of pleasure rocked your body, Touya's cock stretched your walls like no one else could, even after years it was like your pussy had never forgotten the feeling and shape of him, welcoming him into your heat and betraying your need to cling to your convictions.

"Holy shit, oh fuck...this is what I was talking about. Best pussy I've ever had." You heard him pant and moan above you, his mouth gasping for air with eyes shut, like he was savoring the best feeling in the entire world. Your fleshy walls were sucking him in like crazy, he shuddered grabbing you by the hips with his large hands. "Hnng, so tight, fuck...it's like you're trying to rip my dick off. You sure Natsuo's been fucking you enough? Can't believe you're still so tight."

"S-Shut up!! Don't...bring him up now...please."

You couldn't stop wishing that Touya would just start moving already, fuck you already, in your heart you apologized to Natsuo over and over, you were doing it for your sakes, you were doing it for him.

"You are right, let's forget about him. Right now, this pussy belongs to me."

Touya pulled out his length until only the head was nudging at your heat, before he slammed his entire cock back in until he was balls deep inside, filling you up entirely. The head of his cock could almost hit the entrance of your cervix, god he was so big, it was different than Natsuo, he reached deeper than anyone you had ever had, you felt absolutely stuffed.

Gasping for air, you clung to his shoulders, trying to remember how to breath. But Touya didn't give you any chance to adjust before he began thrusting himself in and out your pussy, scrapping your walls with his cock following a brutal, bruising pace that had you pinned down against the futon as Touya jackhammered himself into you.

"T-Touya, fuck, fuck." It hurt, it really fucking hurt, and yet your body was craving that pain and heat you had been deprived from for so long, and you hated yourself so much for it, tears started to run down your cheeks.

Touya watched you with furrowed brows, licking his lips at the erotic sight of your bruised tits bouncing like crazy, but it wasn't until he noticed your tears that he felt himself swelling up inside you, cock harder than ever before. He leaned over you, face inches away from yours with his tongue out. He lapped at your salty tears, groaning in pleasure.

"Dabi, call me Dabi...for old times sake...oh fuck" He whispered against your skin, his hand leaving your hip to delve down towards your clit. He started playing with that little bundle of nerves, flickering it until you were just about to lose your mind, dizziness making you feel near to fainting.

"Dabi...!!"

You orgasm ripped through you violently, abruptly, toes curling and mind going black before you knew it, before you could even hope to do anything about it. Your walls were clamping around Touya and coating his cock in your release.

"Fuuuuuuck..." He groaned, you were so impossibly tight around him he almost came in that very moment.

You went limp, exhausted, but he kep fucking you until he reached his own release soon after. His cock throbbed, and you feel the warmth of his cum inside you as he filled you up in a sloppy creampie, and god he came a lot, jets of semen coated your insides until your womb was filled to the brim. You felt his cock softening inside, before he pulled out.

"That was great, babe. I knew you were the best." He sighed lightly and content, smiling shamelessly at the mess he made of your pussy, cum flooding out of your hole. "You didn't even tell me to pull out."

You tried to get up, but your body ached already, so you remained on your back with him still on top.

"The pictures...delete them."

"Nah, I don't think so."

The fact those words only shocked you halfway was perhaps sadder than him playing you for a fool again.

"You promised..." You said softly, weakly smacking Touya in the chest, barely phased anymore.

"I'm a bastard, sugartits. Can't lose my number one slut that easily, not when I finally found you again."

What an absolute douchebag.

—————

Natsuo knocked on the bathroom door, worriedly calling your name.

"Hey, [Name]? Are you okay? You've been gone for a bit."

After a moment, you replied, opening the door and exiting the bathroom. Seeing Natsuo's relieved smile made you so happy, and you smiled back.

"Don't tell your parents but I got lost, so it took me a bit to find the bathroom." You said with an embarrassed expression, voice to match, distress that was in a way still real.

"Oh no, I knew I should've accompanied you." Natsuo sighed, rubbing the back of his head sheepishly. "Sorry love, but didn't you see my brother? I told him to tell you where to go if he saw you."

You quickly shook your head. Hoping that the toilet paper you held between your legs would keep Touya's cum from spilling out.

—————

That night, when everyone had fallen asleep. You sneaked out of your room, careful not to wake up Natsuo. You planted a sweet, chaste kiss on his lips, gazed at him lovingly. You were doing it for you and Natsuo. You keep telling yourself.

Hearing a soft knocking sound, Touya smiled to himself. He walked to open the door of his bedroom to find you there, fingers lifting the hem of your dress to show your naked pussy underneath. Folds already glistening with the fluids of your arousal.

You heart was doing it for Natsuo.

But your body would always do it for Touya.

#dabi x reader #touya todoroki x reader #dabi thirst #tw manipulation #tw dubcon #tw gaslighting #tw cheating #this is the longest fic i've written so far and it wasn't intentional

[fayeimara]

Suna Rintaro || Two of Hearts

*Song Scenario | Inspired by Two of Hearts by Stacy Q*

PAIRING. Suna Rintaro x you

GENRE. Fluff <3

WARNINGS. Incredibly suggestive, sexual innuendos & references, swearing, drinking

Ah- Ah-Ah-Ah- I need- I need you...

Low, provocative music filters through the lush backyard of your house, mixing into and around the louder cadence of chatter. The space is relatively private due to the large trees bordering your parents' property and provides the perfect setting for your small get together.

The boys and girls volleyball teams have gathered on an unusually warm evening to celebrate the end of their respective seasons, but for Suna Rintaro, the draw is something more compelling and far more complex than a casual night to finally let loose.

Looking up to observe the slow darkening of the sky, the middle blocker leans back against the low stone fence that separates the in-ground hot tub from the walkout patio. Keeping an eye on the stars instead of following his instinct to seek you out from among the group around him, Rintaro contemplates what exactly he's doing here tonight.

The game of cat and mouse between the two of you has built a certain tension, spilling over into your day to day interactions. Having grown closer as friends the last couple years, neither you nor Suna can pinpoint exactly when the dynamic changed but it's as undeniable as it is unspoken.

The hypnotizing melody of the song currently keeping him company amidst the usual bickering between the twins spins around him but as the chorus flies out, Suna hears the scrape of a screen door and can't stop himself from looking across the tiled patio to meet your eyes as you step out from inside the house with a red solo cup in one hand and ... a chuupet in the other.

Ignoring the warmth that spreads across his chest in time with the thundering of his heart, Rintaro simply tilts his head in reaction, eyeing you as you approach him with a smirk on your face.

"I figured you deserved a reward for keeping these two company while I placed our order for dinner."

Even as his piercing eyes narrow and remain on you in a penetrating stare, the smallest quirk of his lips is enough to tell you he appreciates the gesture, as he extends his hand out to meet yours in the space between you.

Ignoring the jitters of both nerves and excitement churning through your body, an anticipatory feeling you're now well used to whenever he turns that discerning gaze your way, you nonchalantly hand over one of the many jelly sticks you'd bought specifically with him in mind. Neither of you comment on the pause as your fingers brush together and linger for a moment that stretches in silence, where only you two exist, carved out from time.

Osamu's voice cuts through the moment with a bored tone as he ignores his brother's last words to him in favour of turning to face the two of you instead. "If you two are done, can we get back to everyone else? It's definitely someone else's turn to deal with this dumbass."

You and Suna both retract your hands back to your respective spaces without a word, you turning to 'Samu with a sudden, playful grin, "Oh yeah, and who's going to deal with him if not you?"

"Angel?! Where's my treat?" Atsumu's outraged query slips out more pouty than he probably intended and you fully intend to ignore it. He's comfortable enough in your home to grab his own preferred snacks after all. You do keep them stocked, as well, for both him and Osamu.

"That would be you." 'Samu's delayed answer to your own interrupted question is threaded with relieved amusement.

One of the pretty generous perks of being your best friends is that the twins get to fob each other off on you when they're each too overwhelmed with the other's antics or behaviour. Joy. But you signed up for this, didn't you?

Suna stays quiet during your interaction with the twins, stepping up to follow behind you as you move to the gate that separates the patio from the hot tub and pool, twins falling in behind him. Pushing off the cool tiles of the patio down to the previously sun-warmed stones, you grin at the calls from the rest of your guests, faces turning your way as the volume rises slightly with friends calling out about the antics you missed in the mere minutes you were gone.

Rintaro hasn't looked away from you, watching the gentle sway of your hair as you walk in front of him, the breeze catching strands and lifting them lightly in the air to dance around with abandon. Stopping suddenly with his chuupet clutched in one hand, Suna shoves the other into the waistband of his shorts, quelling the urge to reach forward again, this time to capture the playful locks and slide them through his fingers before ending in a tug that calls your attention back to him.

Atsumu provides a momentary distraction, brushing past him to race over to the others in the adjacent pool, tossing himself in the air with complete abandon before pulling his knees to his chest and dropping like a bomb into the water. Or a cannonball, supposedly, but it lacks the form to be called so.

Suna looks back to you only briefly, catching the amused look you throw over your shoulder at him, likely in solidarity of the shared thought. That's one of the things that takes his breath away to this day, how for someone that outwardly seems so different from him, you always surprise him by understanding his thoughts to an exhilarating degree.

It was just fascinating at first, then eventually amusing and familiar, to seek you out for your shared humour, claiming space rent free in Rintaro's thoughts until you finally nestled in as his electrifying comfort. You were the one who would always be looking back without fail, reflecting his thoughts with just one look in those mischievous, enigmatic eyes.

Breaking the eye contact as smoothly as you caught it, with that wry smile still curving your lips, you turn back to your conversation with the others. Suna isn't in one yet thankfully, having stopped halfway to the pool, but he's sure something has to be coming his way from the way 'Samu has also quietly stopped by his side, so he looks over and raises an eyebrow at his best friend, who just obstinately mirrors the expression.

"I don't know what you're waiting for me to say." Osamu finally speaks, happily losing the silent challenge as his lips curl in amusement at Suna's carefully blank expression.

"Who said I was?"

"Then I guess I won't tell you how much more obvious the tension is lately. Like a string about to snap."

Suna turns his head slightly away to cast a disinterested look from the corner of his eyes with his response, "I'm sure I don't know what you mean."

And with that, he starts to walk away, turning his head fully forward only to be caught in an incredibly rare moment of complete surprise to find you suddenly in his path, having left your conversation with the others by the pool at some point.

"What he means by what?" Your intoxicating smile aimed up at him freezes Suna completely in his tracks and words, a potent desire sweeping through him to just lean down and capture your lips with his.

Where Osamu was just about to silently step away, Atsumu is the one that steps in to break the tangible intensity between his two best friends, running up between you and Rintaro, soaking and slightly chilly now from his dip in the pool.

"Angel! The sun's almost completely set, let's hop in the tub!"

You back away with a light laugh, from where you had just found yourself rooted in Suna's path when his eyes locked on yours with heated intent. You're still holding his gaze as you answer the setter, "Sure, 'Tsumu. Remove the cover will you?"

"Of course! 'Samu, Suna, c'mon!"

This time it's Rintaro who looks away, slowly and keeping steady, probing eye contact with you until he's fully turned away, to walk the few steps over to the hot tub. You watch as he crouches down and literally single-handedly tosses back the tub's heavy cover with a droll look aimed at Atsumu who just shrugs in that careless, single minded way of his.

Osamu simply stands there, arms crossed and eyes rolling upwards before looking back at you in a silent request to take pity on him. Right, you were supposed to spare him from his brother's exuberant energy for a bit.

With another laugh, this time at all of them, you walk up to join your friends, stepping up to the edge of the tub at Suna's side, close but ever so careful not to do more than lightly brush against him. You're addicted to this thrilling feeling, the way your heart races and skin tingles with electric heat.

You enjoy the rush as the four of you adjust the various controls to set the hot tub up just right for a relaxing soak, adding in the various scented salts that you've finally managed to get them to appreciate as the wonder they truly are for overworked muscles.

Several other friends either hop out of the heated pool or move from their comfortable seats by the poolside firepit to join the four of you, until there's eight in total. Perfect for an eight-seater tub, coincidentally.

While you quickly tie your hair up in a bun to keep it from swirling and tangling in the water, Atsumu ignores the steps down to the floor of the tub and just hops lightly in, somehow avoiding too much displacement of the water and managing to slip right in without a big splash.

Your eyes seek Suna's in amused bewilderment, thinking of 'Tsumu's much bigger splash earlier, and find him smirking back at you, completely in sync. It continues to take your breath away, this likeminded connection with someone seemingly so different from you.

Preoccupied with these thoughts, when you slide down into the heated water of the tub, you find your side also sliding against Suna, sensations alternating with the switch between fabric and skin until you're fully seated. Fighting your blush at the skin to skin contact, you can't resist the compulsion to glance up at him briefly only to find his gaze on you yet again. He doesn't say a thing, however, so you end up anchored to your spot, feeling more and more lightheaded every time one of you shifts but sure he'll catch on if you move away even a little now.

Suna, on the other hand, has never had to fight so hard to keep his expression neutral as the effort he's currently making. The urge to slip an arm around your waist and drag you even closer still, to tilt your head up and press his lips to yours, or even just to pull you over his lap and hold you to him with his face buried in your soft neck. Nothing he can do surrounded by so many people, especially when the two of you are 'just friends'.

Then, Ginjima, one of your other friends but also Suna and the twins' teammate, walks up to ask if there's room for one more in the tub and somehow, having stood in the shuffle to accommodate him, you end up pulled back on Atsumu's lap, the same seat by Suna's side that you'd occupied before now shared by you both.

The middle blocker finds himself clenching his jaw in painful resignation of his late reaction, reminding himself that not only is the setter your undeniably platonic friend but his own close friend as well, even if he did offer to move much too quickly.

At this point, as Suna is debating the merits of simply yanking you away to the only place you should rightfully sit, someone, probably Atsumu, decides to start in on a discussion about boys and girls, and what each likes in the other. You don't know what kind of questions might come your way but you're curious to hear your friends' answers, particularly one typically reserved friend.

It's Gin, now sitting across from you, that asks Suna about his preferences in a girl, teasing implication in his carefully worded question. Careful not to look either too interested or too disengaged to be natural nonchalance, you notice that, for once, Rintaro's not watching you but making steady eye contact with the wing spiker instead.

With a casual shrug, he answers, "I dunno. I guess it's cute when their hair's all tied up in that messy bun."

You make a concentrated effort not to raise your hand to your hair, smirking at Suna instead while you wait for him to decide who'll answer his question next. Somehow, you're not surprised when his eyes slide over to you, happy to have his gaze meeting yours again, even though your heart races at the intent in his eyes.

You know what it's going to be even before he asks you- "What do you like in a guy?"

It's likely your projection, but the night seems to get quieter, stars peeking out above you to watch what feels like a monumental moment, as everyone in the hot tub waits for your answer.

Raising an eyebrow as if in pensive thought, you briefly sift through what you can and shouldn't say in reply before the time seems to stretch too long to be normal and you decide on, "I dunno. I guess it's cute when they're all confidently direct."

His smirk is slow to appear, melting across his lips as if he's carefully analyzing the truths and hidden depths to your words and coming to his chosen conclusion.

"What a cop-out, princess." His hand rises from the water, droplets running back down his wrist and arms to their domain, as his forefinger meets his thumb to flick your forehead in retaliation but you're already angling your face away as you reach up to intercept him.

You end up grabbing his hand just before he can connect, giving him another arch look as you force his hand back down below the water, aware that if he'd really wanted to catch you off-guard, your reaction would have been much too late.

Everyone is watching, some chuckling at the quick exchange, and because you need the attention to divert as soon as possible, you look over your shoulder to narrow your eyes on Atsumu and challenge, "What don't you like in a girl, 'Tsumu?"

He throws his head back in laughter at your twist, arm flexing around your waist as he traps you down to harshly poke your side in subtle retribution, before he meets your eyes with his own burning with indignation at your implication and responds, "I can't say, Angel. I haven't been able to take my eyes off you long enough to tell."

There's a slight brush against the back of your hand under the bubbling water, but you think nothing of it as you roll your eyes in response, with enough exaggeration that everyone can read your genuine disbelief as if it weren't already radiating from your very core, "Right, or you're just a smooth talker that can't admit you're an extremely picky perfectionist."

"Or that." He agrees with another laugh as you dig your elbow back into his stomach as penance for putting you on the spot like that, but he ignores your literal jab and turns to his brother to throw your twist in the question his way.

You're actually curious to hear what the less talkative of your two friends has to say about his dislikes, but your attention is immediately drawn away when you feel yet another brush on the back of your hand and it's as if a spark lights and sets ablaze in your lower belly when you realize it's the textured pad of Suna's thumb.

If anyone chooses this moment to speak to you or ask you a question, there's entirely no way you'll be able to form a coherent answer because your brain is short-circuiting as you realize you're still holding Rintaro's hand under the water, having never let go from when you grasped it before. But... he hasn't pulled away either. No, instead he's rubbing small, maddeningly slow circles on the sensitive skin where your thumb meets your first finger.

It's all you can do to keep your eyes trained on whomever seems to be talking, focusing on keeping your breathing even and quelling any involuntary responses from your sudden awareness. Trying desperately not to unintentionally twitch or shift your hand, not until you can absorb the consequences of this new development, born from one too many bold actions.

If Suna's aware that you've caught on and yet continue to hold his hand, you'll both be crossing into unknown territory. But with your awareness, and likely sudden stillness, how could the perceptive middle blocker have not noticed?

With a calculated move, you lean further back into Atsumu - trying not to blush at the realization that you're sitting on one best friend's lap but completely drowning into the connection to other beside you - and you tilt your chin to glance up at the only one that can hold your thoughts hostage in a binding way. Even though you expect it, you're caught by the knowing look in his eyes when you find him already watching you back, both of you falling deep into the acknowledgement in each other's gaze.

You've clearly missed something though as the volume gets louder and your attention is pulled away, making the conscious choice to nonchalantly slip your hand from Rintaro's as you lightly lean forward again when Atsumu shifts.

"Of course, I can! Look, I'll show you right now!"

And before you know it, you're lifted up by the waist only to be deposited onto the only seat you really wanted, back when you had to move previously. Your entire body is thrown to havoc as, this time, its Suna's toned arm that curves around your bare waist, sliding against your sensitized skin and pulling you firmly to settle back into him without a single word.

You can't even comprehend that while Atsumu might have, quite literally in a sense, tossed you into the fox's den, there's nothing more alluring then the possibilities for how this can end. So you allow your tension to slip away as you relax back into your friend, whose thumb has now resumed its too recent pastime, except with new patterns played on the delicate skin of your waist and stomach.

When Rin speaks, you can quite literally feel the rumble in his chest, like the earth shifting and tilting you off balance with small tremors of sensation, to the point you almost miss his question, "What's that about?"

Suna supposes he should expect the look both 'Samu and Gin throw his way. Of all the people here, he's the one least likely to be unaware of what's been building right in front of him. But how can they fault his distraction when the reason for it is such an appealing temptation, and one he's now finally able to hold in his careful grasp, especially when he almost just felt you slipping away.

Gin, taking pity on his friend's obvious slip, answers, "What do you think? He's trying to prove that at least one person here won't name any traits of his as a personal dislike."

"Wow, he really likes a challenge." You let out a light laugh as you shift to look at Rin behind you, his smirk matching yours but something entirely different in the piercing light of his eyes. At this point, the two of you are already hopelessly transparent, so everyone politely ignores it when neither of you pull back to make further conversation.

Instead, when Suna speaks again, it's addressed directly to you in a low tenor, "Who doesn't?"

"I thought that would be you, no?" You're quick to reply with a teasing look at him.

His arm tightens around your waist before his next words, "I bet I can prove you wrong."

Your smile drops slowly as your mouth opens and then closes, searching for the words that have chosen to desert you. Rin just watches steadily, patiently waiting for your decision but filled with relieved elation when your hand finally rises to rest on his chest, resting just over his speeding heart.

Your next words almost trip over themselves with the sudden desire to reach his ears when Atsumu bounds back up to the tub, challenge momentarily forgotten because- "Dinner's here!"

The spell breaks as you tug both your gaze and your hand away, almost jerking in reaction as if you've somehow fused into him and need the extra force to separate from the magnetic pull.

You lift up quickly from the water with a cheerful excuse that you'll return shortly, avoiding the sardonic arch of Osamu's eyebrow and Atsumu's narrowed eyes. You can't even force yourself to meet Suna's gaze again just now.

Once you've put enough distance between you and the hot tub, you're able to finally dispel the building pressure and tension with a long, slow exhale, grabbing a fresh towel from the deck box to wrap around yourself before heading into your house.

Suna tilts his head back up to the stars, questioning if they're simply curious observers or maybe even mocking meddlers with timed disturbances, as he rubs his thumb against his now empty fingers. Missing the weight of your hand in his, pondering the perfect fit of your frame to his, and committing the silk of your smooth skin to eternal memory.

Fuck it. I don't want the memories.

Harshly lifting himself out of the water, he ignores his friends' questions and, without overthinking it for once, follows restlessly in your wake.

You've already directed the deliveryman to leave the takeout containers on the entryway table, paying and tipping him generously before locking the door behind him, when you hear the door to your backyard open and shut across the open space behind you. Thinking it's likely 'Samu, offering to help with the food so he can get to it faster himself, you're already gesturing towards the takeout boxes as you turn to face him.

You have only seconds to see Suna, dripping with water left in a careless trail behind him, before he's towering right in front of you. In a swift move, he curves his arm back around your waist to pull you up against him before capturing your lips with his.

The credit card in your hand drops to the floor with a faint clatter as everything fades around you except for the feel of Rintaro's mouth moving against yours, his arms tight around you as you melt into his demanding kiss. One of his arms loosens, hand sliding up along your spine before you feel a tug on the tie keeping your hair up in its messy bun.

As the strands escape to flow down your arched back, he captures them in a new constraint, leveraging his fisted grip in your hair to tilt your head and deepen the kiss. You find yourself carefully maneuvered as he moves forward into you until your back is hitting the door and then you're trapped between it's hard surface and Suna's unyielding frame.

Your eyes have long since closed as you feel yourself falling apart in the middle blocker's relentless embrace, so you're caught entirely by surprise when a throat quietly clears, followed by a familiar voice loudly exclaiming, "I knew it!"

You and Suna draw apart, not suddenly but slowly instead, as if waking from an exquisite dream that you both desperately wish would keep you in its grasp forever. There's barely a shred of space between you two and you lock eyes with each other momentarily, his peridot gaze trained on you as you each work catch your breath.

You're careful to clear your expression before looking over at the twins both standing there in mirrored stances, and with ironically identical, unsurprised looks on their faces.

When no one else speaks, Osamu states calmly into the ensuing silence, "Don't let us interrupt. We just came to see if we could help with the food."

"I called it! Didn't I 'Samu?" Atsumu's voice is smug with excitement and satisfaction.

"You sure did, 'Tsumu."

You exchange another look with Rin, yours unreadable and his searching for something more, before you address the twins. Or try to, because it seems like you're at a loss for words yet again. Suna's effect on you, it seems, stealing your words, breath, and heart, all in a single move.

"Do they know there's water everywhere?"

"I think they do."

The twins have picked up the containers and are already walking away, you can catch the movement in your peripherals but you don't move to follow them, not with your eyes or your physical self. Rintaro's made the final move to change this game that you both have been playing long enough, the least you can do is acknowledge his win.

So instead of turning away as you've so gotten used to doing, you reach up instead to wrap your arms around his neck, drawing his lips back to yours in an unspoken concession. You don't see his exhilarated smile as it tugs at his mouth, no, you feel it curving his lips as they return to press against yours once again.

This kiss is softer, gentler, a luxuriously slow celebration of your two hearts finally beating in sync, together as one.

A/N: This... one got me so much. It's based very closely on one of my own experiences which might have been why it just had to be Suna. It also took me so long as I wrote it over many separate days, coming back to it again and again. And the quiet middle blocker just kept taking over. There are still so many thoughts and moments remaining for this scenario, going wild in my head every time I revisit it. So many things Suna has left to say or do... No promises but, I suppose this might not be the end after all.

© 2021 fayeimara. All rights reserved. Please do not repost, modify, or claim as yours.

#suna rintarou #suna rintaro x reader #suna x you #suna fluff #suna x y/n #suna rintarō #suna x reader #suna rintaro scenarios #hq suna #haikyuu suna #haikyuu suna x reader #haikyuu suna rintarou #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #suna scenarios #suna rintaro fluff #suna rintaro x you #suna rintaro x y/n #suna rintaro imagine #miya atsumu #miya osamu #haikyuu atsumu #haikyuu osamu #inarizaki #haikyuu suna x you #suna imagines #suna rintaro fic #haikyuu!! #hq

[teamxdark]

They say the pen is mightier than the sword...

My Dearest Arthur,

Today, as I was heading back to the castle, Galahad stopped me. He pointed out a bird, small and blue like the sky, drinking from a puddle on the ground. We both stopped, watching it as it drank its fill, stretched its wings, and flew away.

It made me think of you.

My love, you try so hard to be the best leader for us all. You do it without complaint, struggling with the problems of a populace, making the decisions that a lesser being wouldn't dare consider. I know how much this burden crushes you, but all the same, I cannot for the life of me think of anyone more worthy than you to hold such power.

I have heard the complaints of those who disagree with your choices. They throw about opinions without care for consequences. They know nothing of the thought you put into every decision you make, and every time I hear some scoundrel run their mouth about how they would do better than you, I feel the urge to silence them, with my words or my blade, I care not which.

The things you do to me, my love...

Yes, you are the most worthy king, of that, I am certain, but you are also the most deserving of the freedom you crave. I see it, Arthur. I see the way you stare out the window, into the sky, beyond the clouds, with such profound longing that I know and understand all too well. It is enough to make a man weep.

...I have wept, I must admit. For you, and over you. If I could grant you your freedom, I would do so in a heartbeat, even if it meant that you would be gone, leaving like that bird, flying away without a backwards glance and never looking back. My grief at your absence would only be assuaged by the knowledge that you are finally unburdened. That you are happy.

Sometimes, I like to imagine that you take me with you. I imagine your hand in mine, and your smile reaching your eyes, the portrait of joy that should never have left your face, and I follow you, just as I have vowed, to the ends of the earth and into the world beyond this life.

I know it is selfish. I know it is impossible. You, Arthur, are the most selfless man I know. I have seen you grow over many years, becoming more and more responsible with time and experience. It is I who has become selfish. It is I who indulges these fantasies of taking you away to bask in your brilliance that I can never get enough of. But you could never betray your people. You could never say yes to a premature freedom. You will not be king forever, and this we both know, and you are willing to wait for the end of your reign while I still imagine ripping you from this life without a care for those that remain behind.

My desires are inconsiderate, not just to you, but to everything you've worked for. To everyone who needs you. To those who need me, too.

I shall never be worthy of you, Arthur, but my heart shall never beat for anyone else in the way it does for you.

Forever yours,

Lancelot

...

Darling Arthur,

Do you remember when we were young? Do you remember when we were but boys, training until we were collapsed on the ground, day after day?

Do you remember the first time you called me 'Lance'?

I hated it back then. I warned you to never call me anything but 'Lancelot' again, for it was my name. It was the name my mother had given me, my mother who saved me and chose me before I even knew how to walk. My name was my link to her, an important part of my identity and my proof of being wanted.

I was, truly, a stupid child.

Now, I treasure the name you gave to me. I do not allow anyone else to use it. 'Lance' is the name you bestowed upon me, a name to signify our own link, our bond... one so close that it makes me dizzy with happiness when I remember just how much we mean to each other. I now hold that name close to my heart, next to my mother's 'Lancelot' and my son's 'Father'.

It pains me that I do not have such a name to give you, my love, save for the endearments in these letters that I shall never send. Yet I never miss how blissful you look when I call you by your given name. You appear unhappy by 'Your Majesty'. You appear troubled by 'my liege'. You appear vexed by 'Sire'.

And so, when I am able, I call you by your name. I call you my friend, so that you know that I love you and that you mean the world to me. You always have, even before my feelings shifted into what they are now.

I see you smile and it is as if I have been struck by lightning. I hear you laugh and I fear I might swoon. If I do even one thing to make you happy, I feel as though I am walking on air, and I wish to do it again, and again, and again, over and over, endless until you never know pain again.

Arthur, the way I feel for you consumes me, like a fire that will never go out. My feelings scorch me, leaving burns and scars that will never fully go away, hidden on the inside where you will never see them. You will never truly know just how deeply this arrow from Cupid's bow has pierced me... I dare say he's emptied his quiver on me, for the mere thought of life without you, without your smile, your warmth, your brilliance, your bravery, your understanding, without you and everything that you are...

I don't dare tell you about these newer feelings of mine. I know you, and I know you will not treat me any different if my particular type of love for you does not match that of yours for me, but my head is clouded by fear. I cannot stop imagining that you shall become uncomfortable in my presence, that you will hold me away at arm's length, that you will look for someone else to court in an attempt to help me move on... All the possibilities are so painful, Arthur. I would rather nothing changed, even though I know my fear is irrational. I should believe in our bond, trust in our friendship, rely on the knowledge that you would never push me away...

I am a coward, my love. To be called the Ultimate Knight feels like a joke, for I am so afraid that I cannot listen to the logic in my own head. My strength of body means nothing if my strength of mind is as fragile as glass.

Yet, even as I long for something different in my relationship with you, I cannot say that I am unhappy with what I do have with you. Perhaps this, too, is why I will not speak these words nor send these letters, for what I already have with you, such a close, personal friendship, is more than I can ask for.

You have always been enough for me, Arthur.

Eternally yours,

Lancelot

...

Glorious Arthur,

I must apologize. I must, for I fear my mind is spinning out of my own control.

Every day I think of you. Every morning when I wake up, every night as I go to sleep, in every spare moment of my life, you are in my waking thoughts.

You haunt my dreams, too. At all moments, it seems, my mind conspires against me. All I want is to be happy with what I have with you, but it appears my desires are only growing, not fading, with time, and they eat me alive with every passing day.

I imagine your forehead against mine, with your hands on my waist. You lift your head, kissing me once on each eyelid, and I feel weaker than I ever have in my life.

I imagine your hands, removing my armor so that they may rest upon me, touching my back, my shoulders, my chest, all areas that I keep guarded under steel and promises. You disarm me, and I allow it. My foolish heart wishes to be vulnerable before you, for I know I will always be able to trust you with myself.

I imagine the lightest touches on my arms, spreading like trails of fire as your fingers slide along my person, and I let myself be consumed.

I imagine your lips pressing to mine, and I lose the ability to breathe.

I imagine your eyes, looking into mine, glowing with care and love and happiness, and I drown without a second thought.

Sometimes I dream of things I dare not write down here, my sweet, for it makes my face burn and my heart race and all I want to do is apologize for thinking of you in such a way. It feels terrible, as though I am taking advantage of you in my thoughts, and I fear that one day you will discover the fantasies of my mind and feel discomfort or disgusted by me.

If I ever lost you, Arthur, I know my world would shatter, and I would never become whole again.

Apologetically yours,

Lancelot

...

Arthur,

I can't stand it. Today, I cannot stand it at all.

I feel desperate, like a caged animal. I feel my soul clawing at my body from within, needing to come out and indulge. My composure is in shambles, my mind is in disarray, and though you are not at fault, it is all because of you.

Arthur, I burn for you. My heart screams and cries out and it's painful. Every inch of me aches for the smallest touch, I long for the basest of acknowledgement from you, a look, a word, a smile, Chaos, anything! Just the thought of you giving me your attention sends me into a fit, and I know that even the brush of your arm against mine as you pass me in the corridor would be enough to bring me to ecstasy!

My head is pounding, my ears playing and replaying the sound of my name coming from your lips, and I crave it. I crave you, my love, and it has never been so powerful or so consuming before. I don't know what is wrong with me. I don't know why today is the day that I might go mad. I am afraid, Arthur. I am afraid that my need for you is pushing me to the brink of madness and that I will not be able to stop myself from jumping down into it.

Arthur, the love of my life, how can I even begin to fully describe this? I've written so much and yet it is only a crumb of what is flaring inside me. I think of you and I burn up. You are not an inferno, for that is a small candle compared to the one that burns inside me. You are nothing less than the sun in the sky, approaching me to incinerate me in an instant, but even that feels like a pale comparison today.

Arthur, I am deeply sorry, but I fear writing this is only making things worse. I must stop before I

...

My love,

My upcoming mission to Acorn Kingdom is fast approaching. Soon it will be time for me to depart. I hope that, when that day comes, you are not too busy to see me off.

I will miss you terribly while I am gone, but I take peace in knowing that I am doing this for Avalon, and for you. To make this world a better place, and for you to have one less thing to worry about.

It's pathetic, is it not? As a knight, I should be focusing on the best for my kingdom, as I vowed to when you first let Caliburn descend upon my shoulders and gave to me my title, and yet I know the truth.

It's for you, Arthur. It's always been for you.

...

In his study, the king shoves away the stack of letters, his face burning as a chorus of emotion swells within him, unable to take the guilt at having read so many of Lancelot's secret letters. His hands tremble as he searches around his desk for something to write with.

...

Dear Lancelot,

My wonderful Lancelot,

To Lance,

My dearest

Lance,

Please come see me when you have a moment to yourself. Do not be afraid.

Yours,

Arthur

#I wrote this on a note app while on a train so it is what it is. #Arthurlot. #Avalon Series.

[housamo-side-blog-2]

Sick Day

{Harumo’s room}

The Sun rises to the world of Tokyo,dark areas illuminated, the greens and living beings, everyone in the world of the unknown,And speaking of unknown, in one of the dorms rooms of Shinjuku Academy lies a young chubby boy with hundreds of simps [literally] lay dormant in his room resting from all the fighting and all nighters they do because everyday is a new huge event for him, The curtains sway lightly as the wind  passes through,the room begins to bring color as the rising run brings joy to some individuals, There the chubby hero name Harumo covered in blankets still asleep even though he was about to be late for his classes starting right........now..

Lil Salomon: Wakey-wakey master its time to get up, You’re going to be late for school again.....Master?

Your forevor close buddy familiar attempts to wake you up,however you appear  unresponsive to his pleas. But something about your silence begins to worry him.

Lil Salomon: Master!,Master!,Wake up!

Attempting to wake you up again in a panic state,circling around your blankets shaking any area to atleast make you twitch,however it doesn’t work.. This only made your butler more worried,because of the fact he can’t be seen by other people and only you can see him, he cannot go to your classmates for aid as well as his father Mr Mononobe whom can see Salomon if he has the ring,that is now in your right ring finger.

[KNOCKING OF A DOOR]

Lil Salomon:  Who could that be?!

Shiro: Harumo?,are you up!, You’re gonna be late again for class.

Lil Salomon: What Luck!... Master!, you’re friends are here to see you,Master please wake up.

He tries to wake you up again,

Lil Salomon: Ma-Master?, {Touches forehead}...ow! Oh my goodness!, Master you’re burning up! 

Harumo.....*soft groan*....

{Thud}

Ryota: Did you guys hear that?

Shiro: Yes, i did,Harumo what was that noise?

Kengo:Step aside you two.

Ryota: Kengo?, what are you doing?

Kengo: Im gonna punch that cute ass of his if he doesn’t wake up.

Shiro:Absolutely not Kengo!, You’re going to break school property!.

Lil Salomon: How am i going to tell them,,,Uhmm......Oooohhhhhh thats it!HOLD ON MASTER!

.

.

Ryota: Wahhh!,,what the?,, 

A  piece of paper mysteriously appeared on Ryota’s shoe..

 Ryota: HELP?!

Shiro: What the?...HARUMO!,,{KNOCKING}

Shiro: Kengo break the door!

Kengo: RARRRGGHHH!

With no hesitation Kengo easily breaks the door down with his mighty kick as strong as horse’s gallop.A loud bang with a surprise for the trio waiting for them as they found themselves shocked to enter your room with you on the floor,

Ryota: Harumo!, 

Kengo:Partner what happen?!

Shiro touches your forehead.

Shiro:{Gasp} Harumo,you’re burning up! 

Ryota: Shiro, we have to bring them to the clinic 

Shiro: Kengo grab Harumo and bring them to Shennong’s clinic,Hurry!

Kengo: Right! Hold on partner! will get you to Shennong! so hang in there!

Kengo lifts you up with both hands carrying you as Kengo looks at you with a serious yet scared face followed by Shiro,whom is both running with him as he checks on your body along with Ryota, who is seen almost on the verge of tears as he looks upon his friend while hearing the soft groans as a slight displacement is enough to hurt them...

.

                                                                                                                                                          HARUMO SICK DAY

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{Kabukicho} 

In a old abandoned building in Kabukicho, a lone transient is seen sleeping on the couch, with his usual expression, though in some moments it changes to a happy one, where he could be seen smiling. i wonder what they’re dreaming about?

.

.

{Shino”s Dream} 

.

.

In a calm peaceful forest in Shino”s homeworld, Lays a medium sized hut with a  large window next to the entrance with a small workshop underneath it. There the chimney is seen being lit as puffs of smoke exits from it,indicating that someone is cooking...Waiking slowly to the door the gray fured therian sees.. 

Shino: Beloved,,, i have returned... 

.

.

.

Harumo: Hello Shino, Welcome back! 

Shino: Yes, my dear. that smells nice,

Harumo: Well, thats because im cooking your favorite today, 

Shino:  i see, be careful with cutting with a knife dear. 

Harumo: Don’t worry, dear, im always careful. 

Shino: i should aid you in cutting the meat.

Harumo: All right, you big fluffy worry wart, 

Shino: Tha-,,i already told you, to please stop calling me that!. 

Harumo: But its cute, and you really are fluffy and big. 

Shino:{Blushes}

Harumo: Im going to pick some vegtables from the back. 

Shino: Ok dear..

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*COUGHING* 

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Shino: Harumo?.... 

His ears twitch as he went to see his dear coughing and it appears They’re trying to cover it. 

Shino: Harumo...are you ill?..

Harumo:*coughing small amounts of blood*...

Shino:.you’re not well!, you medical assistance! 

Harumo:*coughing....

Shino steps in to catch you from falling as your knees begin to gave out,,as soon as he lifts you up in his arms like a knight carrying they’re princess,

But as soon,as Shino turns back...

.

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.

.

Shino: {Gasp}..... NO!!!....

.

.

{PIERCING SOUND}

An unexpected arrow,was fired as Shino’s back....

Shino: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Hunter:i’’ve found him!....

Other Hunter:There he is!,, Fire! 

Shino: Harumo!...Hold on!

Harumo:Ahhh!,,

Shino: I won’t let them harm you my beloved! 

Hunter: Fire at him! 

{Piercing sound} 

Shino: Thaaaa! 

Even with arrows sticking out of his back, Shino takes a stance in fury and readys his sword,with his paw clutched,Shino could never forgive the ones that try to harm his dearly beloved.

Other Hunter: He’s gettin ready to attack,,defend yourself! 

Shino: I WILL TEARS OFF YOUR HEADS! ..

Harumo:*Coughing*

Hunter:His coming! 

Running furiously,sword in hand and paw ready to grab the head,  Shino,,full on runs towards the two hunters in rabid speeds even though he was hit with two arrows on his back,but it seems to have no effect on him as he was about near the hunter who shot the first arrow...

Shino: YOUR HEAD!

Hunter: aHHHH!

Harumo: SHINOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Shino: Huh,,,Harumo....

Just moments away from pulling his neck, Shino heard the cries of his beloved and stopped him from taking his life,,,however hunters,,,give no mercy to their prey.....

Shino: You dispicable!

Harumo:...*coughing

With his sharp animal senses, and even more high alert, Shino spots the hunter about to stab him,. 

Harumo: NOOOOOOOOO!!!!! 

Shino:I DON’T THINK SO!

Other hunter: No! {Fires an arrow}

 Shino dodges the incoming arrow,with the unconcious hunter out of commisioned,the now calm Shino hurrys back and sweeps up and hunt continues on..

Harumo:*coughing*....

Shino: Just hold on a little longer, and we’ll be there. 

Harumo: T-thank you Shino,,,,for sparing his life..

Shino:.....

 .

.

Shino: Look, we’re nearly out,,just hold on a--

{Pierce}  

Harumo: Ahhh!!! 

Shino: Harumoooo!!!!

While near the exit of the forest,a lone hunter is seen in a firing postion,as though they have been waiting for a while and shotted an arrow hitting Harumo in they’re right side....

Shino: Harumo....Harumo!!...YOU!!!!!

As the blood of his beloved’s body spreads, 

Harumo: Ahhhhhh!!!,,,,,*Coughs blood. 

Shino tries to take down the lone hunter,,but alas,,,the hunter had shot an arrow in Shino’s chest piercing his heart...as they fall,,and slowly close they’re eyes,,,The image of his beloved covered in blood on the ground as Shino can only see the life of his beloved eye’s slowly fade away....

{WAKES UP} 

Shino: Thaaa!!!----*gasping* *sweating*....

Shino: *Gasping* I..its...its just a dream...*gasping*  

Shino:My lord.....

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{Clinic} 

Rushed to the medical clinic of Shinjuku Academy The Summoners watch in worried as they see in bed while Shennong examines your body and coming up with a diagnostic. 

Shiro: How is Harumo? Shennong..

Shennong:Its all right now,,,Harumo just got a really high fever. 

Shiro: {Gasp}

Ryota: Harumo....

Shennong: I’d say 2 days of bed rest,and Harumo will be better.,   

Shiro: Understood Shennong.  

Harumo: *soft groan* ahh...

Kengo:  partner...just relax now..

Shennong: I called Mr Mononobe, to inform him about Harumo, he should arriving soon ..oh......speak of the devil. 

{Door opens}

Mr Mononobe: Oh, so this is were you three were.  

Mr Mononobe: How’s Harumo? 

Shennong: Harumo is in bed, They just got a high fever, but he’l be fine.They just need a lot of rest.

Mr Mononobe: I see, Thank you for your work Shennong,and to you to also Shiro,Kengo and Ryota, 

Shiro: We’re just glad Harumo is going to be okay. 

Mr Mononobe: I’ll inform the other teachers about Harumo and tell them why you three are late.. 

Shiro: Understood,Thank you Mr Mononobe..

Mr Mononobe: No problem, Now you three better go to class all right. 

Kengo: Im staying to take care of Harumo!

Mr Mononobe: Now,now Takabushi, i understand that you’re worried, but Shennong can keep an eye on Harumo,, 

Shiro: Kengo we can’t do that!, 

Ryota: Im worried also for Harumo,and i want to take care of them... 

Shiro: Kengo,Ryota lets go now!

Kengo:rgghhhh!,, fine,,.....I’’ll be back for you partner!.

Ryota: Harumo..i promise im going to take care of you! 

Shennong: See you all as well, I’ll  watch over Harumo.

Shiro: Thank you Shennong. 

Shiro: ....I’ll be back to take care of you!

Kengo: Hey you’re stealing my lines!

Mr Mononobe:all right now, run along kids. 

{Door close} 

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 {Nakano Shopping Mall} 

In the mall.... 

Customer: Can i have 10 rainbow buns please! 

Customer: I’ll take 14 rainbow buns to go and can i have a soda! 

. 

Here in the Nakano Shopping Mall is where a very popular bun is being sold,not only for its deliciousness,but for the wide varieties of colors that represent that each a different kind of flavor, and as you can tell, from its name,the buns come into all different colors hence earning its name Rainbow Buns. sold by the shop being managed by the father of a young pink-haired chubby boy.

.

Ebisu: Coming up 10 buns of Special Rainbow buns!

Employee: Hey Ebsu, where’s num#4′s order?! 

Ebisu: Oh, Coming!,

Normally its not as busy in the shop, but strangely,people have been coming in to taste and witness the popular Rainbow Buns thats been getting famous in Nakano..And hopefully Ebisu doesn’t get tired....

.

.

2 hours later.... 

All orders that have been piling up, has now begin to disappear one by one as the customers each take of what they have ordered, feeling thirsty and tired,Ebisu goes to the terrace of the mall where it faces the calm sea...

Ebisu: Phew.......{sips tea}

Resting calmy  on a bench, he stares blankly at the tranquil sea, as it reflects the rays of the sun,and the many fishing boats moving rapidly to their fishing spots. 

Ebisu: Its so beautiful....*sigh*

Sitting on the bench,reminded him of the person who sat next to him, in comfort, 

Ebisu:......

{Memory}

Harumo: Can i sit here? 

Ebisu: .....

{End of Memory} 

He stares at his tea while remembering that said person.

.

Ebisu: I wonder how Harumo is doing?...Hmm..

{Remembers Harumo sweet moments}

{Heartbeat} 

Ebisu: w..Did, my heart,,,just beat skipped a beat?.. and why is it when im remembering Harumo? 

Ebisu:.....w-w-.why do i want to see Harumo again?!, do i like them?Well offcourse i like them!, but whats this feeling that,,,that my heart is about to explode!.....Ahhhh!,..

 He scratch his head in confusion.

.Ebisu: Thaaaa,,,,C’mon Ebisu,,Do you really like Harumo as a friend or as a lover!

Employee: Hey Ebisu!,Breaks over! lets get back to work! 

.

Ebisu:Thaaaa!!!,,,,, Oh,,,sorry sir!,,, 

 Employee: Get a move on, those rainbow buns aren’t gonna cook themselves!

.Ebisu: We actually bake them sir.

.Employee: Oh.,,,also, what were you shouting back there?,  

.Ebisu: What?, you heard?,, its,,,nothing,, nothing sir,, 

Employee: ......Then i why were you shouting lover then?!

Ebisu: You heard that?!,, ohhhhhh,,,,

Ebisu covers his face out of embarassment as you can tell from the tomato colored face he’s doing,, the employee, looks at him sharply into his eyes as if he wanted to tell something to him,, 

Employee: Is it about that Harumo guy you mentioned, the one that you’re inlove with?!

Ebisu: What?!,no!,,i just,,,its just that,,,

Employee: Shhhhhh,,,don’t say anymore, 

Ebisu: But...

Employee: A THAT THAT THAT THAT,,no more..

Ebisu: *Sigh*  its just that, i just,,can’t seem to stop thinking about them, it confuses me, and i don’t know if i really love them, 

Employee: You can tell them about it later after work,C’mon the customers are probably waiting.

.

 {Shinjuku Cafeteria}

Lunch time,at Shinjuku Academy, Ryota is at the front of line,  

Ryota: Hey Choji!, whats special for today?.

Choji: Hello Ryota,Our main menu for today is our special Chicken Karaage and it comes with a sauce of different flavors,you could also pick which flavor of the Karaage,we have spicy,sour,sweet,savory,  flavors so take your pick. and we also have chicken soup and chicken curry...

Ryota: Karaage?!,,,,Can i have 5 sweet karaage!, 

Kengo: Hey its chicken on a menu!, I’ll take 10 of....uhh....the savory ones!

Choji and Ryota: T-t-TEN?! 

Ryota: Are you sure you can eat all of it?! 

Kengo: Hah!, i need a lot of protein for my body you know,also im going to bring these to Harumo,, i bet they’re hungry.

Choji: Come to think of it,I don’t see Harumo with you, you guys are always with them.

Ryota: Harumo is sick,,He’s got a high fever so they can’t come..

Choji: Oh no!, hope they’re feeling okay...

Choji: Its a good thing we have chicken soup on the menu,, that will help in they’re recovery,I’ll save a batch for him and you can feed it to them...

Ryota: Thanks Choji,

.

Shiro: You better eat all of it Kengo! 

Kengo: Whaddya think im doing, im not going to waste chicken, and also Choji will go berserk on me. .

Moritaka: We warriors need a lot of protein to sustain our bodies,so im sure Kengo will eat everything on his plate..

Toji: Still, it will be better if you added some vegtables to your diet Takabushi. 

Kengo: Why is everyone questioning my food choices!

Ryota: Hey,how about we visit Harumo,to see if they are awake. 

.

Chernobog: Is something a matter with my heroic one?

Ryota: Ahhh!, Oh,,its just you Chernobog,, don’t scare me like that!. 

Chernoog: I did not mean to frighten, you Ryota, i just heard you mention about the heroic one,, but i don’t see them.. 

Shiro: Harumo came down with a high fever

Moritaka: Might i ask Chernobog, Where is Zao?, you’re always accompanied by him.. 

Chernobog:  Zao, sneaked out of class and went mountain hiking.

Kengo: Hahaha!,Nice job Zao!

Shiro: [Pinches Kengo’s ear} 

Kengo: Ow,ow, what the heck nerd!

Ryota: How you join us in visiting them, im sure they’ll be so surprised.

Chernoog: I do wish check  Harumo’s  wellbeing...

 .Toji: I’ll also wish to pay them a visit, just to ensure they’re being taken care of, 

.Moritaka: Me too,, Having a fever is very common for me, so i want to look out for them.. 

.Ryota: Shiro,,can we??Please???

..

Shiro: *Sigh* fine, I’ll go ask Mr Mononobe if we’re allowed..

.

.

After a moment,Shiro comes back with news. 

Kengo: So, how it go? Can we see them.?

Shiro: Yep,,Mr Mononobe gave us the approval.

Kengo: Well what are we standing around for, Lets go! 

Moritaka: Lets go!

Chernobog: Wait for me Heroic one.

Ryota: Wait! im going to fetch Harumo some lunch,im sure they haven’t eaten!

 .

.

{Clinic} 

After some time, you have awoken from your pained state of slumber and scan your entire surroundings,

Harumo:W-where am i?,,,,is this Shennong”s clinic...?

Lil Salomon: Master!, {hugs them} 

Harumo: Whoah hey, Lil Salomon, what happened just now? 

Lil Salomon: You had a high fever Master,and then quickly rushed here by your friends.

Harumo: Really?!,,

Lil Salomon: Oh!,i was so worried about you, you have no idea how paniced i was when you rolled down on the floor!

Harumo: W-well, sorry to worry you ..ow!. 

Lil Salomon: Master? 

Harumo: My throat..feels like its being pierced.

{Door Opens} 

Kengo:  partner!,

Shiro: How many times do i have to tell you,to not run in the halls!

Kengo: Can it Class rep!, I have to be the first one my partner has to see!

Shiro:  Oh Thank goodness you’re awake Harumo,,.. 

Harumo: How long was i out?..

.Shiro: You were out about 2 hours now.

.

Moritaka: Harumo, my friend!, 

Harumo: Well theres a fluffy cute face..

Moritaka: I--Well,,thank you for the compliement!

As soon as Toji enters,he immediately examines your forehead, to check your temperature..

Toji: huh...you’re burning up.

Chernobog: My Heroic one,

Harumo: Never seen you wore the uniform before...

Chernobog: Yes, it came to me just now,,its a miracle they found a size for me.

Shiro: Moritaka, is the towel cold? 

Chernobog: What is the purpose of this towel on you? 

Chernobog points at your towel that Moritaka checks if its cold. 

Moritaka: This is a towel that they use to cool down Harumo, we drenched it in cold water and put it on their forehead..Oh no! 

Shiro: What is it Moritaka? 

Moritaka: The water is warm now. 

Chernobog: Let me..

Chernobog summons a small cloud over the bowl of water and rained ice from it. 

Moritaka: That was amazing Chernobog, how did you do that.?

Ryota: You’re a wizard Chernobog.!

Chernobog: it is the power granted to me of being the dark lord of Bald Mountain. 

Moritaka dips the towel into the now cold water that is giving off a cold air, 

Moritaka: Its so cold!, that my hands are going to freeze, There we go! 

Harumo: Shhhhh,,,ahhhh,,,,

Chernobog: Is it too cold Harumo? 

Harumo: No,,,Its just right...

Ryota: Okay, I know you haven’t eaten in a while, so,, i packed you some delicious snacks and also Choji ask me to feed you some chicken soup.. 

Ryota places a handful of snacks comprise of chips, fruit juices and also Karaage that Choji saved for you.

Shiro:Good thinking Choji,it will surely help Harumo

Harumo: ....ow....uhm,,can you feed it to me?

Ryota: W-what?,,o-okay say ahhhhh....

Ryota takes a spoon of chicken soup ..

Harumo:Ahhhhhh,,,  Mmmmmm,,,This is delicious.. 

Chernobog: Is this a tradition when one is ill? 

Harumo: Do you want to feed me too Chernobog? 

Chernobog: I-....Well...if it aids in your recovery. then  i shall..

Ryota hands Chernobog the spoon, and gently takes a spoon of chicken soup,being cautious as to not break or drop it,by his massive fingers.

Chernobog: Say ahhhhh...

{Mmmmmm,,,,,*Gulp*} 

Chernobog: Is it to your liking? 

Harumo: It was delicious Thank you Chernobog!

A smile finally appears to your face as,, you have seen all the people that will take care of you...

Chernobog: My pleasure.. .

Harumo: ahh.....my...throat .

You hold your throat as you try to speak,,in every second you try to speak your throat feels like a burning furnace inside you.. 

Ryota: Here Harumo,,,some orange juice,,

Ryota hands you a can of  orange juice with a straw in it...and slowly sip.

You can still feel a slight sharp pierceing feeling,when you sip the orange juice,, as your tonsils are inflammed.. 

Harumo: Mmmm,,mmm,,, 

You start to feel drowsy and fatigued as you slowly lean on your backside.

Your friends can only watch you wreath in pain and sweat like you’re running a marathon, as they have seen you triump in many hard battles, and always went ahead with a fierce smile on your face, but now,,that smile is nay in the present ,for as they see infront of them is a highschool student in pain,,, 

As Ryota wipes away your sweat, he worrys more,as he looks more closely to your face, 

.

Ryota: Harumo..whats wrong?!

Moritaka: Ryota move!

.

.

Harumo:Blaaaagghhhh!!

Chernobog:Harumo! 

Shiro: Moritaka,,could you go flush Harumo’s vomit away.

Moritaka: Oof!, that is most unpleasant.

 Toji: You were:somewhat aware of that happening..

Moritaka: To tell you the truth, I’ve experienced having fevers from past years during those times and i have learned the symptoms.

Harumo: *groans*  

Shiro: Oh Harumo...

 Kengo: Partner...

{Door Opens} 

..

.

Shennong: Whoah!,,,well this is,,uhm,,  

.Shiro: Shennong, Harumo just vommited just now, what does that mean? 

Shennong: Lets see....

Taking into account that Shennong was the military medic of the Warmongers,and you could expect that whenever training goes into the walls of Penitentia Academy, you would expect the training regime to be brutalizing.

 To the point where some trainess would even vomit out of exhaustion or go cranky, or even losing their lives to its merciful dictatorship, whereas  Shennong have seen the dark side of being a medic and as he calmly examines  

The body of the that person, he as already a prognosis. 

Shennong: Well, They’re temperature hasn’t changed, Lets just give them some rest, I’’ll have one of you take Harumo in a wheel chair, so you can get them back to their dorm,after school,because i won’t be present by that time.   

. Shiro: Understood Shennong. 

Kengo: Yeah, but whose gonna take them? 

Shiro: Well off course it should be me, 

Kengo: Huh!, who made you chief here? im going to do it. 

Ryota: Shouldn’t it be me, since im the closest to his dorm.

Moritaka: Comrades, cease yourselves, im much more qualified to do it!

Toji: I’ll have to intefere with that bold proclamation of yours Inuzuka. I swore to protect Harumo, so I’ll be escorting them, 

Ryota: No ME! 

Shiro and Kengo: ME! 

Bickering over to whom shall be entrusted to carry out the responsibility of escorting them back to their dorm, one individual angrily intervenes. 

.

Chernobog: RRRR...ENOUGH!

 Everyone:.....

Harumo: {Shivering} 

Chernobog: Your bickering has cause Harumo discomfort, I’ll be the one escorting them back to their dorm room, Do i make myself clear! 

Summoners: ........Okay....

Shennong: I’’ll also have to mention that someone has to stay with them, incase they feel any pain or to replace their towel with cold water. 

The room falls into an awkward silence,An uneasy stare off, and then.

.

.

.

Shiro and Kengo: I’ll be staying with them! No me! 

Ryota: NO ME! 

Moritaka and Toji: ME! 

Chernobog: RRRRRRRR.....

 Harumo: *groan*,,,guys,,,,*coughing*

As you attempt to breath out a word, you continue to cough aggresively.

Harumo: .....Guys....please.. don’t fight!.....

You released those words just before falling sleep, 

.

.Shennong: Thats it!, im going to the one assigning,,,, Chernobog, you’d be the one to escort them back to their dorm and gonna spend the night with them..Do i make myself clear!      

Summoners:..Yes.. 

Shennong: Good, use that whellchair there to transport them after school,got it? 

Chernobog: Yes, i understand.

Shennong: Check if his towel is cold before  going to bed,and you will the one feeding them, i highly recommend feeding them soup, 

Shennong:That way its digestable,and if they can’t taste it,do not worry,  its normal when you have fever and after meals, have them swallow this pills,..Understand Chernobog? 

Chernobog: i understand it all. 

 Shennong: Thats good to hear, now run along kids, lunch time is over by this hour correct? 

 Shiro: Oh crap!, We have to hurry you lot! See you later Harumo.. 

After every visitor have said they’re goodbyes to them, The afternoon classes can finally resume.. 

Chernobog:.....

.

.

.

.

[Dorm} 

Meanwhile, As the afternoon classes had begun, a lone figure slowly waiks in a  familiar room, only to discover a scene that sends chills down their spine. 

.

.

Horkeu Kamui: Huh?,,,What the?!

Horkeu Kamui: What on earth happened here?

The worried shocked faced transient, looks inside to find it to be a total mess,as scattered pieces of wood are scattered throughout the floor,the airconditioner still open,and a stack of books,journals and other reading material spread around their study desk. 

its as if someone had broken inside, maybe someone very strong broke in and did someting to that person,  

.

Horkeu Kamui: MY HERO!?.

.

The screams of his worry echoes throught out the halls of the dormitory, as if a vengeful ghost is screamed in fury.. But, he does not know that his beloved hero is safely in the clinic, resting,.. 

 .But to him, he interpreted it as much more sinister, for he’d had witness the deaths of his students over and over at the hands of a certain dark lord..  

.Who will tell him that his beloved hero is just resting, and not in danger, as per everyday they are always in constant danger.  

..

.

.

While,back in Nakano. 

After work....

A pink-haired chubby boy , is seen mopping away the grime and dirty water off the floor as the massive crowd did a lot of running for Ebisu. 

But he still is conflicted about a certain issue that boggles his mind.

.

Ebisu:....

.

.After the treasure hunt, A part of Ebisu was confronted and it did him wonders after, for as they have said they’re goodbyes after departing from each other...

Ebisu had a strange feeling, to him atleast,but for everyone to witness, its perfectly obvious that Ebisu has a thing or somehow special connection with a certain someone. 

 But for Ebisu, he is somehow confuse about what to feel about them, for he has been debating whether they like Harumo as a friend, or Love Harumo as a lover. 

For as he continues to mop away, He’s expression changes to a slightly annoyed Ebisu, as he is infact nervous to tell them, As he continues on, 

  Ebisu: ahhhhhhh!!....

Ebisu: C’mon Ebisu!,

He holds  two pudgy cheeks,

Ebisu: *Inhale* ....*exhale*.....Okay...

Ebisu: Do you like Harumo?, Ebisu?,

Ebisu: I do like them,,Do i love them? 

Ebisu: Well.....

  .

.

Employee: Listen to your feelings for once Ebisu...

Ebisu: Whaa!....Oh..sir..I didn’t know you were there..

Employee: The part about questioning yourself is only i heard..but.you should ask  those questions to the person. not yourself,.. 

Emplyee: How could will you get the answer that you want,when you already have a sure way to answer it..

The 6ft tall employee stands infront of Ebisu as if he was a fatherly figure just now. for as they and Ebisu are both Papa and Son, 

Ebisu: Sir...

Employee: Works over, so call me Papa,..Now, you’ve been acting differently ever since you returned from your voyage, Its as if you have close your scars now. 

Ebisu: Thats because during that long journey i  have learned to not feel about what people expect of me, and i have finally got my answer..But...mmm

Papa: But?...

Ebisu: But i don’t know, i...can’t make out what this feelings thats stirring up in my head...

Ebisu: I’ve already know how to not feel about people’s expectations, but why do i expect them to feel the same way that i do feel for them..

As continues to release his frustations, the tall dad figure kneels down to meet his eye level, and looks directly into to his eyes as if he wants to convey something to him.

 Papa: Ebisu,let me ask you one question...

Ebisu:....

Papa: Does Harumo expect something from you?

He puts his hands on both of Ebisu’s shoulders.. 

Ebisu:No..

 Papa: Do you expect them to feel the same way you are feeling? 

 Ebisu:No...

Papa:Then you have nothing to worry about.

Ebisu: Huh?.

Papa: Did i ever told you,that i used to have massive love interest to one person when i was your age?

Ebisu: You did?!..and what happened? 

Papa: Well, i was so confused about what my feelings for them mean to me, i couldn’t even sleep,thinking about ,,, what will they say to me?... 

Papa: I can’t stop thinking...but in the end, i mustered up all of my courage to tell them about what i feel about them,,..

 Ebisu: And?...what did they say?..

Papa, takes a moment to answer as Ebisu waits for his response.

.

.

Papa: They said: “i love you too, but. I don’t want it to be romantic” 

Ebisu: Did you get rejected?!...

Papa: It didn’t feel as a rejection, its more like i finally got my answer..

and ever since that day.. i was satisfied with their answer..

Papa: For as i didn’t expect them to either to be my lover nor i want them to be mine. but,, the thought of them answering ,,, was enough for me...and to this day..that friend of mine,are still friends..             

.Papa: Our relationship to each other hasn’t changed back to my childhood days. and im glad it didn’t...Hahaha. 

.Papa: So, now that you heard my story, what are you going to do?...Uh..Ebisu? 

.

Ebisu: Im....IM GOING TO CONFESS TO THEM!...

Papa: Whoah easy there, you gonna burn down the kitchen if you keep this up! 

Ebisu: Thank you Papa, i know what i must do!, Thank you very much!..

Papa: Your welcome.,,oh and as an added bonus, give them this here rainbow buns that i saved, for you know..when...

 Ebjisu: Wait..don’t tell you knew this was gonna happen, did you?.

 Papa: Well,. it was 50/50,but im glad you know what you need to do now..

Ebisu: Yes,,Thank you a bunch papa. i have hurry now, before the train leaves.! 

Papa: Hehehe, Go, you better reel in a good one!.

Ebisu: Yes!..    

Tightly grasping a medium box in his hand,The confident pink haired boy sprints in a hurry to catch up to the train station and soon follows his destination...Shinjuku...

Ebisu: Harumo,,if you’re gonna reject me!,its fine by me,,but i want to know your answer, and to figure that out ,i have to tell you the truth..of what i feel about you!.     

.

.

.

.

{Shinjuku Dormitory} 

After school..in the mid afternoon.

 Chernobog prepares your wheel chair as you try to get out of bed, but sadly, the strength that pull everyday is no longer present ,as every step feels as if you’re dragging 10 pounds of weight, and every step you take,

  leaves you out of breath as you lean onto Chernobog for support, 

.Harumo:{breathing softly} 

 Chernobog:Harumo, we’ll be going back to your room now, so you can rest easy now, 

 Harumo:....W-we?...

Chernobog: Yes...

Chernobog:Per instruction, is to accompany you and that is to sleep beside you.

Harumo: ...Oh..cool...Nurse Chernobog..

Chernobog: Lets us make haste now.. Onward! 

.

.And as the drama begins, the two of you slowly make your towards the dormitory so that you may sleep.

.

.

On your way towards the exit of the school, you encounter a familiar student leaning on the side of the door frame, its as if that said person is waiting for someone in particular. 

.

 .

.

 Harumo: Kengo?..

Kengo: Hey partner, I’ve been ..waiting for you..

Harumo: For me?..

Kengo: Yeah...i just...i just want to guard you,make sure you both are safe, An enemy could take advantage of your fever, so i want to make sure.

Chernobog: I am mostly grateful for your intent of protecting Harumo, 

Harumo: Okay,...Lets go...

The second strongest member of the Summoners and The Dark Lord of Bald Mountain, had became your escort, its as if two alphas are protecting their King. as they keep an eye out for anyone that will attack out of the blue..

.

..

.

After reaching the entrance of the dormitory,  

.

.

Horkeu Kamui: Dark lord Chernobog!, 

Chernobog: ....

Kengo: Hey, what are you doing here Horkeu Kamui?! 

Horkeu Kamui: Harumo!, what did you do to my hero?! 

Chernobog: Calm yourself Horkeu, you misunderstand the situation.

Harumo: HorkeuKamui, calm down for a sec...

Kengo:Hey, Quit you two!, nows not the time ! 

Kengo steps in-between the two people who have a sharp gaze at each other as they look deep into each others eyes

 As if they are about to pounce at each other.. Their gaze are almost sharp daggers that pierce into each other’s soul. as Kengo becomes the peacekeeper.  

.

.

Harumo:ENOUGH YOU TWO! {Coughing} 

As you try to scream at the top of your lungs,your voice becomes hoarse as your tonsils are inflammed,

 After that, you continue to cough aggresively as you hold your neck feeling the sharp pain of your tonsils, your sweating more and more as the two feuding have snapped to their senses. And return to your eyes as you are weaken. 

.

Kengo: Partner, don’t taik, Thats you two idiots, Harumo is screaming because of you’se two keep on bickering, 

Chernobog: Harumo im sorry, i...

Horkeu Kamui: My hero, i did not intent to cause you great harm, Im sorry..

.

.

Ebisu: Harumo...?

Trio: Huh?..

A mention of your name, the three escorts quickly turn their sights at a lone chuby figure behind you.   

.

Harumo: That voice...

Ebisu slowly waiks towards to you shyly. 

Horkeu Kamui: Who are you? 

Chernobog: What business do you have with Harumo? 

Harumo: Ebisu!

.

.

Ebisu: I’ve finally found you!

.

.

.

.

.

AND THATS IT FOR PART 1 OF SICK DAY,THOGUH I WANTED TO MAKE THIS A  IN ONE POST BUT, I FELT THAT I SHOULD TURN IT INTO PARTS AND NOT MAKE IT INTO A WHOLE, HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE THE STORY AND COMMENT ON WHAT YOU ALL THINK OF IT OR SEND AN ASK, EITHER WAY, AND THATS IT FOR PART 1 OF HARUMO GETTING SICK AND IT WAS HARD TO GAUGE EVERYONE’S REACTIONS TO HARUMO GETTING SICK AND HOW THEY WILL DO OR EVEN TAKE CARE OF HARUMO, OKAY, THATS ALL FOR TODAY,      THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH. 

#housamo #tokyo afterschool summoners #sick day #Harumo #summoners #mc5 #Chernobog #Horkeu Kamui #Shino #Part 1

[out-there-so-it-isnt-just-me]

Hey guys...I have an idea if you aren't sad enough yet. I was struck by a painful comparison sort of crossover idea. It would never be canon, but  I'm mourning the end of Campaign Two, and I want to be sad and over-dramatic. Essek, but as Eliza from Hamilton in “Who Lives, Who Dies, Who Tells Your Story.” But, it’s for the entire Mighty Nien. Some of the lyrics are so on point for a poor Essek who will probably outlive all of his friends (Elves still generally live longer than Firbolgs by a good 200 years). Anyway, enjoy.

MN

Every other founding father's story gets told

It occurs to Essek, during one of the many periods without one of the Mighty Nein (the time that he dwells on them the most), how unfair their whole situation is. They saved all of Exandria, and no one knows. They are amazing, and odd, and frustrating, and no one knows. They will die loved deeply, but not widely. He knows they prefer it that way, all things considered. But, everyone else who saves all of Exandria becomes legends, while the people he loves best will be forgotten, remembered only by him.

And that. That sounds unbearable. 

So, in-between the times he sees the Mighty Nein, he begins to gather accounts. He writes down stories from those they helped, or simply left an impression on.  The people who have met the Mighty Nein have an air about them that he gets good at detecting. They attracted the oddballs and the outcasts. And if they're entirely normal (whatever that means), then they usually get a certain twitch if you ask for stories about interesting strangers. About half the time, a certain blue tiefling pops up in them. He almost has a heart attack when he hears  “go fuck yourself,” in Jester’s cheerful voice, when he knows Jester isn’t anywhere near there. He ends up getting the kenku’s story, and the voices of his friends are weaved into it. Essek thinks the Mighty Nein are the best people in the world, in their own rambunctious way. Part of him wants the world to love them as he does, or at least have the option to. Everyone should have a chance to get to know them, even if it's just through tales. The world would be a better place for it.

...And when you're gone, who remembers your name?

Who keeps your flame? 

Who tells your story?

Who tells your story?

Who tells your story?

Once there is only him and Caduceus left, this becomes a more prominent part of how he spends his time. After...after a long, long period of mourning. He has so much life left to live without most of the people who made it worth living.

I put myself back in the narrative

I stop wasting time on tears

I live another 50(0) years

He stops hiding his past and bears his sins and his story to the world. Essek tells his story so their story can be appreciated to the fullest; his part in their story emphasizes the depth of their compassion and chaos. He tells his story, but not as himself. Essek continues to drift from town to town under a vast number of aliases. Everywhere he goes, he spreads his stories of his friends, some serious, most silly. He disguises himself so he can stay alive to do a little more good, tell a few more stories, to truly live the life his friends wanted for him.

...I try to make sense of your thousands of pages of writings

You really do write like you're running out of time.

Eventually, he gets his hands on some of Beau’s journals, Jester’s diaries, and Caleb’s research. Well, he always had the research, but he gets to the point where he can share it with the world. He slowly begins to share and explain their thoughts and personalities with excerpts from those. Maybe he also has letters that he shares parts of (though most of those, those words specifically for him, he keeps to himself, for himself). He wonders if they'd be angry at him for spilling their private thoughts. But neither Beau nor Jester filtered their thoughts very much in the first place, and he keeps anything truly painful out of the public eye. Caleb, well, Caleb was always about sharing his knowledge and research, provided it wasn't dangerous. And they were all dead anyway.  One of the last things they told him was to be happy. And talking about his friends, learning more about his friends even after they were long dead, that made him the happiest he'd been in a while. So he hoped they wouldn’t begrudge him this small joy he’d managed to grasp and forgive him, should it be necessary.

I rely on Angelica

While she's alive, we tell your story

She is buried in Trinity Church near you

When I needed her most, she was right on time

Caduceus isn’t particularly interested in being well known or famous, but he never shies away from telling a story about any of his friends. Plus, he thinks it’s a good project for Essek. It's a way to continue to show his love for them and keep them alive in the only way they can be now. When Caduceus eventually passes away, he joins the eight other graves (Veth refused to be buried apart from Yeza) that lay in a tucked-away corner of the Blooming Grove. There is one space left, nestled between where Caleb and Jester lay, but it will be empty for a long time yet.

And I'm still not through

I ask myself, what would you do if you had more time...

...You could have done so much more if you only had time

And when my time is up, have I done enough?

Will they tell your story?

He keeps adding to his tale; he stretches it longer and longer with every shred he can remember. But, even his memory, as long as it is, runs out eventually. And their story finally ends, but he doesn't. He throws himself into activities that remind him of them. He does a lot of gardening ( mostly tea, poisonous plants, and flowers). He teaches children some rudimentary dunamancy in his spare time, for Caleb. He messes around with alchemy a little. Eventually, he publishes the last of the research that he and Caleb worked on together; ones that took him decades to solve by himself. He even finds himself drawing a surprising amount of dicks on random surfaces near the very end.

Oh, can I show you what I'm proudest of?

...I help to raise hundreds of children

I get to see them growing up

The time that doesn’t go towards his now worrying amount of hobbies, he spends doing what he has done since the beginning: caring for the Mighty Nien’s true legacy. He looks after and visits their children. He takes care of descendants of Luc, of Jester and Fjord, of the random teenager that Beau and Yasha seemed to adopt completely on accident, of TJ, of the Clays, and of a lovechild of Kingsley’s that found out who his father was and then somehow found Essek himself to learn about him. In an embarrassing show of sentimentality, Essek always keeps at least one offspring of Caleb's very first cat. There is a very funny story about Caleb thinking the animal was spayed when it was, in fact, not. He visits the different generations every couple of years or so (he has a schedule). The drow makes sure they know the stories of their ancestors, the adventures of the Mighty Nien; he tells them it's all real. He gives them ways to contact him if they’re in danger, or need any kind of help really ( he has funds to spare at this point). Every once in a while, a few of them will get it in their heads to write him yearly updates. It’s nice.

In their eyes, I see you, Alexander

I see you every time

And when my time is up

Have I done enough?

Will they tell your story?

It is strange and painful to see the attitude and mannerisms of the Nein in the descendants who have never met them. It is wonderful too. His stories of the Mighty Nein have become well-known tales that no one can decide how much is truth and how much is fiction (it’s true, it’s all somehow, hilariously true). He preserved them in his own way, in the right way (time travel is something he thinks of with a growing hunger the more years pass between when he last laid eyes on his friends). But in these men, these women, these children, they are truly alive.

One little half-orc girl has Jester’s mischievous eyes and infectious joy. Another halfling man squints just like Veth when she's trying to figure out if someone is bullshitting her. There’s a boy who charmingly bumbles his way through most social encounters, as Fjord did. A firbolg woman who has Caduceus gentle smile. A tiefling girl with all the audacious bravado of Kingsley. A man with eyes just as piercing as Beau’s, and a tongue just as sharp. Even Yasha’s kind and gentle demeanor somehow shines through in one small boy, despite her having no direct descendants. He gets to see these flashes of his friends in those who survive them, and it thrills him as much as it cuts him. (Sometimes, when the current cat has ruined some item of his, the pleased look it wears resembles the quiet glee Caleb exuded after he pulled a successful prank, but he’s pretty sure that’s just fanciful thinking.)

One of the last things Essek does before he dies is fully publish, in print, the entire tale of the Mighty Nein. How they came together, every person they helped along the way. The love, the loss, the kindness, the chaos, every moment he could recall or record was put into this one account (necessarily stretched out into several separate books). There is only one set, and he hands it over to the Library of the Cobalt Soul in Rexxentrum. Then he goes on his lonely way.

Oh, I can't wait to see you again

It's only a matter of time

There are now ten graves, each one as unique as its owner, nestled in a small corner of the Blooming Grove. One grave has the dirt still fresh around it. And somewhere, beyond the Divine Gate, there are cheers and laughs and cries of joy as the Mighty Nien become the Mighty Nine once more.

fin.

MN

It’s my head-canon that by the time Essek dies he’s practically a mythical figure among the select families he looks after. It's  to the point that in certain locations ( that have a lot of Nein remnants) he becomes a local legend, the guardian angel of nien (no spelling specified and with no real distinction of what that means), with skin like the night sky who drifts (literally) through towns and helps those who meet a certain requirement, unknown to the general populus. There are rumors that certain people have bestowed upon them a token they could use to call upon the angel’s aid. Of course, the people who have the tokens (sending stones or something similar. IDK how he would get that many wondrous items, but I focus on satisfying narrative not, like, plausibility) know Essek and know that he has died and that the tokens no longer work, but for a while they keep them as heirlooms, to show the love of one drow wizard for the friends he had long, long ago. Eventually, one of Veth’s descendants sells off their set because sending stones are worth A LOT, and the money seemed more practical. They have their stories; those are enough. 

And before anyone complains about the Kingsley bit, I felt compelled to add a smidgen of Kingsley content because Essek loves Jester and Jester’s with Fjord and Kingsley is with both of them for years. I’m sure they get to know each other well enough that seeing traits of Kingsley is vaguely nostalgic and warming, even if it lacks the depth and love he feels for everyone else. Also, there’s no convincing me that Molly/Kingsley doesn’t have at least one illegitimate child running around from various trysts, he was basically the Scanlan of this campaign. It goes with the hedonistic vibe he gives off.

Also, is it normal that I completely designed the Nein’s burial site in my head because I did? Like I imagine they’re all spaced out in a circle. It’s almost like a stone gazebo but there’s not really a roof; it’s just a group of nine pillars that support a stone circle. The entrance is the Traveler’s door with dicks around the edge, and each of the nine pillars/supports is designed to look the knowing mistresses staff. The stone circle is covered in carvings of storm clouds and lightning. Wires are strung across the center of the stone circle to form the symbol of the Cobalt Soul. Not that you can see the wires, because vines have been grown all around them. Once you step through the Traveler’s gate, you’ll find yourself on some kind of rough mosaic floor, with depictions of a peacock, a pyramid, a snake, a sun, a moon, and (oddly) a pirate ship. The mosaic is made up of buttons of various materials and shapes. In the center is a saltwater pool/spring (depending on how magical we can get idk) and floating above it is an eternal flame encased in some sort of dunamancy magic that doesn’t  actually exist that keeps it floating and eternal. Look I'm running out of ideas.

I can’t imagine what everyone’s grave marker would be, but I’m pretty sure Yasha’s is a simple stone that says "YASHA NYDOORIN: wife of Zuella and Beauregard Lionette," and the place where’s she’s buried is just covered in wildflowers that spread outside of the gazebo to encircle the structure entirely up to the gate. Also, everyone has a stone tarot card by their grave with the picture and designation that Molly gave them. Beyond that grows a weirdly dense thicket of trees and bushes that make finding the Nein's resting place rather hard. It’s said only the descendants of the Nein’s family or those favored by the Wildmother (or Traveler, Or Ioun, or Storm Lord) can find their way to them. And one tree, directly behind Yasha, is dead, struck by lightning who knows how long ago. 

And they’re buried in this order: Yeza/Veth, Caleb, Essek, Jester, Ford, Kingsley, Yasha, Beau, Cad. I know there’s a good chance that a) Kingsley would just eff off and die somewhere unknown and b) Cad would probably want to be buried with the rest of his family, but shhh let me dream.

#critical role #the mighty nein #essek thelyss #caduceus clay #cr spoilers #critical role spoilers #Essek staring as Eliza #sad boi #who lives who dies who tells your story #as done by floaty hot boi #major character death mentioned #post campaign 2 #a mighty burial ground #did anyone of you want an in-depth imagined version of the M9's final resting place #because it's in the after notes #the story ends and then i found more story #but its less pretty #hamilton crossover #sort of #mostly the sentiment #idk #someone validate my effort please #or let me hug essek #or matthew mercer #he looked so sad #angst with a happy ending #the ending is death #but they're all dead #so it's nice

[ladykissingfish]

A Date with an Angel // Part One // Kakuzu and Deidara

((Note: This is a new little mini-series I’m working on at the request of an Anon, about all of tbe guy’s going on a date with Konan. I was just going to put everyone’s together in one post but it’d be way too long, so each post will feature at least two of the guys.))

“So what’s this meeting about, Leader? And where is Konan?” It’s Kisame who asks the question, but everyone is curious about the answer. It was rare for Nagato to get them all out of bed so late at night for a meeting; they all assumed something catastrophic must have happened. As if reading their minds, Nagato clears his throat and says, reassuringly, “There is nothing wrong. I’ve called you here to discuss Konan. I’m sure you’ve all been observant enough to notice how Konan has been acting differently as of late?” All of the boys bow their heads in embarrassment; in truth, none of them have noticed anything “off” at all about the pretty blue-haired lady. When Nagato first informed his group of for-hire mercenaries and bodyguards that he was bringing his old friend into the house that they all shared, none of them had been very enthusiastic, to say the least. “A woman means we can’t walk around naked anymore!” “She’ll probably nag us to pick up and keep the house clean!” “That means no more dirty jokes, no nudie mags, no —“ But Nagato wasn’t hearing it. He moved Konan in, giving her his own bedroom (which was the nicest in the house AND the only one with its own connected bathroom) and told her to make herself at home. Which she did ... and making herself at home wasn’t ALL she did. She managed to turn the old house into a home, a home that she cleaned, a home that she cooked meals for everyone in, a place (and a face) that the others looked forward to seeing after coming home from a long (and often brutal) day. She was always there when somebody needed stitching up, or a hot meal, or just somebody to talk to. But now ... “She’s been feeling depressed as of late.” Then Nagato tells them something they didn’t know; the reason he asked her to live with them in the first place was because he didn’t want her to be alone, after the sudden death of her boyfriend (and Nagato’s best friend) Yahiko. It’s been almost a full year since his passing, but seeing as how the pain is still fresh in her mind, the upcoming “anniversary” of his demise has left her feeling very down. “So here’s what I want you all to do, every day this week, I want one of you to take Konan out of this house, to somewhere that she’ll enjoy herself.” “You mean like a date?” Nagato shakes his head, “She might not be receptive to that word. Instead frame it as an outing between two friends. The point being, take her away from here and make her happy. She deserves at least that much from us, for all that she does for us. Agreed?” Everyone agrees, and then Nagato provides a hat and writes everyone’s name on a slip of paper, to determine the order in which they’ll be asking Konan out. First up?

Kakuzu

Nagato drew Kakuzu’s name out first, which the nonagenarian wasn’t quite happy about. Kakuzu is the oldest member of Nagato’s group, and the smartest with money, which is why he’s been made the group treasurer. Any possible expenses for jobs taken have to be run through and approved by Kakuzu, and he’s known to be very frugal and careful with the group’s fund. While he likes Konan and appreciates all she does for the group, he has never been on a “date” in his life .. and certainly didn’t intend to start now. Nevertheless, when he approaches her and asks her to spend the day with him, she seems very surprised, but receptive. As expected, this man does not intend to do anything with Konan that will put him under any kind of financial strain. Free is the way to be, and you can bet that Kakuzu will already have a list of places or events in his head that don’t cost a penny to attend. For their date, he decides to take the lovely lady to a classical music concert in the park. The weather is beautiful and the park isn’t that far from the “base”, so they walk there. Konan chatters away happily the whole time, which Kakuzu more or less tunes out. He’d rather be back at home reading a book. But once they get to the park, and they spread out the blanket that Konan’s brought and sit, things change. The music is really beautiful, but not more so than Konan’s dreamy face, as she listens and sways along to the peaceful melodies. She’s also packed them a lunch, which Kakuzu nibbles at and appreciates (and not for the first time) how good of a cook she is. One song is so gorgeous that Konan can’t keep still, and she gets to her feet and holds out her hand, asking Kakuzu to dance with her. For the first time in years, he blushes. To be asked to dance by such a pretty young woman ... he stands, and the two move carefully around their little area. Seeing them dance awakens the desire in others, and pretty soon everyone is stepping around to the music. He will, maybe for the first time in his life, feel a bit insecure. He and Konan are only friends, but ... he sees the way everyone is looking at them. He can read their thoughts almost as if they’re being spoken aloud: What’s a pretty young girl doing with an old man like that? At some point in the afternoon, Kakuzu spots a souvenir stand and, seeing as the little trinkets aren’t too expensive, goes to pick one out for Konan. As he stands there, he can overhear a younger man walk up to Konan, shamelessly hitting on her, in fact telling her to “ditch grandpa over there and come back to my place for a good time, sweet-cheeks.” Kakuzu watches as the guy puts a hand on Konan’s arm, and he’s about to go and defend her when Konan takes the guys hand, pulls, and flips him clear over her shoulder and damn near across the park ((stunning the onlookers, and, especially, Kakuzu)). Kakuzu quickly turns back around and takes his souvenir (which is a keychain with a tiny glittery pink penguin on it) up to the table to buy. Konan comes up as he’s pulling out his wallet, and, leaning up, gently kisses his cheek, making him blush once again. Walking back home in the twilight, it’s much colder outside than when they first arrived, and Kakuzu takes off his jacket and drapes it over Konan’s shoulders, which provides her with wonderful warmth. She holds on to his arm all the way home, telling him what a nice time she had with him. They get back to base and Konan spends the entire night gushing to everyone else about their time, how fun it was, how great of a dancer Kakuzu is. Kakuzu tries to act gruff and nonchalant about this but inside, he’s beaming. In the days that follow, he’ll stop and smile every time he sees Konan’s keys hanging up, with the little glittery pink penguin dangling off the ring.

Deidara

Deidara is the second name drawn, and he’s happy about this. He’s the youngest of the group at 19, with long blonde hair, vibrant blue eyes, and a flair for all things “artistic”. He has no less than 10 piercings in each ear, and a self-designed tattoo on his chest. He’s often referred to by the others as being smart, but “really immature“, to which he disagrees. The problem with Deidara is that he has a mind that speeds ahead faster than the average person can deal with, and he often acts on impulse or feeling rather than logical thought. Still, he’s a valuable, strategic member of Nagato’s group ... even if he can be annoying at times. When not working, he’s the type who likes to have a fun time, no matter who he’s with; and Konan has been lots of fun to hang out with in the past. Although ... as far as he can recall, the two of them have never exoerienced a one-on-one outing with each other. Luck is on his side; he sees that there’s a carnival in town and he immediately asks Konan to go with him. She tells him that she has no money and he tells her not to worry about it, HE has money, just go with him because he hates doing fun things like that alone. She asks him if he means go with, on a date, and he gets flustered because Nagato had specifically mandated that they don’t let Konan know what all of this is. BUT, the other hand, he’s never been on a “date” in his life so, why not? “Yeah, hm. Me and you, pretty lady. What do you say?” She ends up saying yes, and the two set out for an afternoon of fun. Konan learns that Deidara is a competitive spirit, and he finds joy in playing the games. He manages to make a giant balloon explode in one game, and in turn wins Konan a huge stuffed giraffe that she needs both arms to carry. He buys her an abundance of fare sweets, such as cotton candy and funnel cakes, and then come the rides. Tilt a whirl, the go-carts, and the Fun House has them both shrieking near-hysterical laughter in the Hall Of Mirrors. Towards early evening, the fair grounds evoke a different atmosphere, as everything blooms into colorful lights. The Ferris wheel looks particularly enchanting, with its pink and blue globe-lights, and Deidara asks Konan if she wants to get on. But she’s a bit apprehensive about this, as heights aren’t really her thing. But Deidara’s eagerness and the beauty of the contraption appeal to her, and she finds herself (along with her giraffe) getting into one of the swinging cars with the excited blonde. They move higher and higher up into the sky, as the cars below them are filled with people, and although Konan is putting on. a brave face, a little jolt makes her jump. “Are you scared?” She gives him a shaky laugh. “N-no. Just startled.” “You’re sure? Because I can ask the guy to let us back off.” But again she shakes her head. once the last customers are loaded, the Ferris wheel starts up and Konan immediately moves closer to Deidara, grasping his arm. She’s shaking, but rather than point this out to her, Deidara begins talking to her, calmly, quietly. Going over all the fun things they did that day, and how much he appreciates her coming with him. Eventually Konan’s fears melt away and she’s able to fully open her eyes and take in the glorious night sky. Towards the end of the ride, their car is stopped at the very top as the people below them get off, and Konan takes the opportunity to move even closer and gently kiss Deidara’s cheek. He blushes fiercely, asking, “What was that for?” and she replies “I was feeling down earlier today. You asked me to come here with you and you made my whole day brighter. So thank you.” Her words give *him* a bright, warm feeling in his chest; one that stays with him as they get off the Ferris wheel, as they go home, and when he takes her to her room door. She’s holding her stuffed giraffe in her arms, and she’s chattering about where she’s going to put it, but Deidara is barely listening; all he can focus on is her soft-looking lips. This woman is his friend, and ONLY a friend, but — “Um, Konan?” “Yes” “Don’t laugh but, um, t-tonight was my

first date, with a girl. And I was wondering if — I mean you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I was wondering if maybe — maybe I could —“ But Konan interrupts him with a feather-touch of a kiss to the lips. Deidara’s cheeks flush and he mumbles a “Thank you” before stumbling down the hall to his own room. The smile on his face follows him into his dreams.

#the akatsuki #first date #a date with an angel #konan akatsuki #deidara #kakuzu #konadei #kakukona #naruto

[alreadyblondenow]

Just this one time | 2

Mark Lee x reader // SMUT, SMUT, fluff, angst

Themes: cheating! au, ex? fwb? au

Word count: 3k

Summary: The first time was a mistake, but the second time was a decision and you loved him so much.

Warnings: smut, mentions of other idols, swearing, CHEATING (please don’t cheat in real life), unprotected sex, rough sex, mentions of alcohol, getting drunk, 

A/N: requested! Just because I feel like ending it with a good note haha This is for the anon that requested it and also @shaalk​ I wrote this as a rest to all the gore that I’m writing for 127 House haha. Enjoy! 

“What is love for you?”

The big question hangs in the fourth-grade classroom for a parent-student Valentine’s day special. Since you’re busy at work for the past few weeks, Mark is the one left to help your son Mingyu for the speech that he has to deliver.

Your son is standing in front, clearing his throat, and getting ready for the speech. “Good afternoon everyone, I’m Lee Mingyu and this is love for me” everyone including you and Mark applauded as he begins his speech, “Many years ago my dad, Mark Lee crashed my mother’s engagement…”

“Did you seriously told him that story?” You whisper to Mark, pinching his thigh.

“Shh. Here’s the best part” your husband shushed you.

“...Ever since that day, their love grew so much and there’s nothing that could separate them again....Then they had me, and we all lived happily ever after” tears form in the corner of your eye, as you hear your son believe in the love that you and Mark share. “...My parents made me believe in love, because I see it every day, and they make me feel loved every day. And that is the meaning of true love for me. Thank you”

After the event, the three of you walked downtown to get some ice cream and eat pizza then head over to Mark’s parents to drop off Mingyu. It’s Valentine’s day, so you and Mark will have some alone time in a hotel that he booked, have a romantic dinner, and drink wine until you’re both drunk. “Mom, is that true? You chose dad?” he asked out of nowhere.

“Yes. It’s uh- Baby, I’ll tell you when you get a little older I promise”

As your son ran to his grandparents for a hug, you scoffed jokingly to Mark. “You’re unbelievable. You know that?”

“What? Winning you fair and square was my pride and joy” he kissed your forehead and went to say hi to his parents too.

A lot has happened before you and Mark can live peacefully like this. Years ago your relationship with Mark was nothing but chaos, you treat it as a mistake, but eventually, you realized it's him you love the most.

TEN YEARS AGO

It’s new years ever and everyone is back in town. You’re a graduating senior this coming summer and your family couldn’t be more proud of you. They have been telling every person in this party that you will graduate will flying colors in a couple of months.

Since it’s new years eve, everyone including your ‘kind of’ boyfriend Johnny is invited to this get together. It’s been five months since you two decided to have a break from your relationship and honestly speaking, you want to end it officially but there''s so much history in the relationship that you couldn’t just throw away. So you wait. And hope that you still learn to love Johnny.  

The snow is thick outside and it’s freezing but you don’t mind. You were shivering from where you’re seated but you would rather be alone in this cold and quiet space than join the party and be exhausted. Five minutes before the great countdown, you decided to stay out here and watch the fireworks closely than watching it from a window inside. You feel someone put a jacket on your shoulder, thanking the person while you heat up yourself. And as you turn your head to the side to see who it was, lo and behold...

It was Mark.

He has a bottle of beer in his hand and an awkward smile, scratching his nape and avoiding your eyes.

“The last time I saw you, you have pink hair” that's the first thing that came out of your mouth. Now he has jet black hair, and still handsome as ever. It’s been almost three years since he left without saying goodbye. Three years since you two cheated behind Johnny’s back.

10, 9, 8...

“How are you?” he broke the silence.

7, 6, 5...

“Great. You?” you smiled sweetly hoping that he would stop being so awkward towards you.

4, 3, 2...

“I missed you”

He kissed you on the lips, right on time when the clock strikes twelve, just in time for the fireworks to make it even more special. Oh, you miss those lips. It tastes like beer for now, but the way he kisses you is still the same. Both of his hand holds your face steady, cupping your face as he kisses you for the first time again.

“I missed you too” you whispered in between kissing. He noticed that your voice is shaky, maybe you’re really cold already. So he wrapped his arms around you, share his warmth, and kiss some more to make up for lost time. Finally, kissing Mark didn’t feel so wrong.

He was still confident and bold as ever, still the Mark that you liked back then the only difference now is his black hair. Still cute and handsome at the same time for your eyes. To enjoy your little world together, he brought you to his home while his parents are still at the party, enjoying bingo with the other parents. He lit the fireplace to keep you warm and got some snacks from the kitchen. Mostly it was Christmas cookies, leftovers from baking too much he says.

It was comfortable and warm on the floor but you were still shivering. He was leaning his back on the lower side of the couch and invited you to sit between his legs so he could help you warm up. Your back leans comfortably on his chest, wrapping his arms around you and keeping you closer to him. He was whispering how he missed you so much, his breath softly brushes the shell of your ear making you shiver and giggle. “I celebrate alone during your birthday, drinking, hugging my pillow and pretend that it was you” he whispers, you turn your head just enough to see his handsome face, reach for his glasses, and removed it. His glasses are kept safe on the coffee table, and you return to look at him and plant a kiss on those soft lips. You felt love. But it’s too early to say that.

“Every time I have sex to forget you, I still see your face” it was a confession that makes him shy as he situates you on his lap, sending you a message that he misses your whole being. Both of your legs are on each side of his strong thighs, hips grinding and rolling on his growing crotch. Watching the man in front of you loses his mind with what you’re doing to him. He was hard already. He undid his pants as quickly as he can and released his hard cock, you tease the tip with your hand as you watch Mark roll his head back and release soft moans and whimpers that you miss hearing.  

Foreplay was not needed or maybe you do, but you don’t care. You lift your skirt and Mark pull your damped panties to the side and you line his cock in your entrance. Teasing the tip of his cock even more by grinding your raw pussy on him, he smiles weakly and tilted his head, watching you have your fun and making you both moan softly. When you finally pushed it in, you took over and ordered the man beneath you to relax, and he did. He smiles weakly with half-lidded eyes, putting his hand on your waist. Seeing you grind on top of him like this made him feel accomplished. You were always worth the wait. It was pure happiness for Mark, he swears to himself that he will never ruin this again.

“Kiss me” he was about to cum, you know because he always wants to touch lips while he cums. It was your thing. He kisses you deeply while he shoots his thick cum inside you. Sex never felt so good again he thought. Mark kissed you down until you reach the floor removing his soft cock inside you and proceeds to undress you leaving you with nothing, bare and exposed for him. He removed his pants and boxers briefs, and you sat up and helped him with your shirt kissing his sexy body as he kneels in front of you.

“No more rush sex,” he said, kissing you again.  

You have never had slow and intimate sex with Mark. For the first time, he was slow. He took his time kissing your lips, down to your neck, lick and suck your boobs until you were whimpering and ready to cum undone and proceeds to kiss your lower abdomen. With no questions asked or teasing, his tongue licks up and down your wet slit. Legs almost crushed Mark’s head because of sensitivity but he doesn’t care. He reaches for your hand so you could grip it until you have the confidence to grind on Mark’s tongue like you used to and moan with a high pitch tone and enjoy your first orgasm for the night.

He spreads your legs while you were busy catching your breath. Putting both of his hands on the sides of your head, watching you beneath him. He looks handsome with the orange light from the fire, it hits his face perfectly. Mark smiled sweetly on top of you, “ready?” he asked while pumping his cock, you nod your head yes. He lines his head in your very wet entrance and smoothly pushing inside his whole length, he came close to you teasing your lips with his tongue. It was a lustful moment and you didn’t want to end it so soon.

“Do you do this to your pillow?” You joked. Short breaths from what he’s doing to you, head turning side to side, nipples hard and fucking sensitive because Mark won’t stop pinching it.

“You bet” he smirked and thrust a little harder, giving you a taste of what’s he’s going to do next. There’s the Mark you know. Even if he’s thrust became hard and piercing that skin slaps so hard it surrounds the room, it was still not rushed. There was time to enjoy the feeling or laugh in between. He cums on your stomach pumping his cock, and kissing you sweetly as always.

“I’ll clean you up” before he left to go to his room, he covered you with his jacket and left a soft kiss on your forehead.

You’re now wearing a clean shirt and sweatpants from Mark. And he made you hot chocolate with small marshmallows in it so you will stay warm. For the rest of the night, you and Mark talked and catch up in the middle of their kitchen. Laughing loudly and talking about anything that comes into your head. Moments like this don't just happen between you and Johnny and you don’t know how you managed to be with him for years and years without feeling this kind of connection that you and Mark have.

“I never had a girlfriend. Those years, no” he took a sip on his beer, shy to tell you that he has been waiting for you all along.

“The girls are missing. They wasted this hot body” you both chuckled and he swings an arm around you.

“Well, this hot body is yours” he kissed your forehead drank his beer in one down, and turned towards the sink. You hugged him from behind, letting him do what he has to do while you smell him and make yourself comfortable as you wait.

“You sure you don’t want to stay over? I can keep you warm all night and I’m not talking about sex”

It was a tempting offer, “Some other time. I have to help my parents clean up the mess from the party”

“Oh right” leaning on the sink with his hand inside his pocket while his other hand is intertwined with yours. It was obvious that he wanted to spend some more time with you before he went away again.

“When are you going back?” you asked with a flirty tone. He smiled and started kissing you again, hands on your face, keeping it steady for his liking. “Two weeks” he answers. And before you come home that night, you kissed some more in their quiet kitchen not wanting to leave just yet.

For two weeks, you and Mark spend time with each other. Watching horror movies while holding hands tightly, listen to him serenade you whenever you’re in his room, have rough or vanilla sex whenever you two feel like it, and make out in his car for some time in front of your house before you leave him and see him the next day again. You two were so in love, but not quite together just yet.

On his last night in town, he made sure that you’re not going to be sad or feel lonely. “Three months will fly,” he says, keeping your body close to him, hugging you like you’re one of his pillows.

After Mark left, Johnny decided to be in your life again. It made you confuse. You don’t love him anymore, that’s pretty clear. But you don’t know why it’s hard to let go of the things you have with Johnny, is it because you’re used to the relationship that you share? You’re used to faking it in front of everyone?

You and Johnny were back to being ‘lovers’.

And this time, it’s you who’s cheating on Mark. It felt horrible. Back then, when you were the one who’s cheating on Johnny, you remember letting Mark getting the best of you felt like you were winning and free. Even though you know that Johnny loved and still loves you, you don’t feel happy anymore. You realized, that you love Mark. So much.

Johnny wasn’t satisfied with being present in your life, he really pushed you to your limits. You found out that your boyfriend asked for your parents' blessing because he’s going to propose after graduation. You knew because your mother was so excited about you getting married that she couldn’t keep her mouth shut.

And he did propose. Not after graduation, but before graduation. He just couldn’t wait. The pressure from your family plus his family made you say ‘yes’ coldly, everyone celebrated. Except you.

You carry this burden until you graduate and until Mark comes back. Guilt was taking over you when you finally saw his handsome face again, welcoming him at the airport. But seeing Mark and feeling his presence again made you forget for even a second that you have a fiance, and sooner or later you have to tell him the truth.

“I’m having a party tonight. Everyone is back home, it’s really great. Haechan landed yesterday, Jaehyun came home last night. It’s perfect” he says excitedly to you, fidgeting on his phone texting everyone in one hand while his other is intertwined with yours. A party with everyone else means Johnny is going to be invited, and there's a big chance that Johnny will brag about your secret engagement. Fuck, you murmured.

During the party, you didn’t wear the ring and you made sure to keep Mark away from Johnny as long as possible. Good thing Mark was horny and ready to abandon his own party just to have sex with you. Even though you’re not in the mood for sex, Mark put you in the zone.

“I love you” it was not how you wanted it to happen but it’s true. He smiled sweetly to you and fucked you more. “I love you too” You were fucking on his study table, fully clothed but both a moaning mess when Haechan suddenly barged in with wide eyes.

You don’t know what’s up with Mark but he didn’t stop fucking you. It was so awkward that Haechan was still there, Johnny can’t know. “I didn’t know that you guys were together,” Haechan said, avoiding to look at what's happening.

“No we're not together,” you said trying to push Mark and Haechan left without saying a word. Mark knew that look, and he knew better. He called Haechan again and walked out of his room. He told Haechan not to tell Johnny what he saw, and of course, his best friend got his back.

Mark went back inside to you, mad. But also hurt. He can’t believe it’s happening again.

“When I went away, the guilt that I fucked my friend’s girlfriend stayed. I was guilty for so long and I never wanted it to happen again, that’s why I waited for you guys to break up! Just so I can do the right thing! Damn Y/n make up your mind! ” his shouts made you cry and weak. There's a lot to tell him but what’s happening right now is too much. You didn’t have a choice but to say sorry and leave.

You made sure that Johnny can’t see you leaving so used Mark’s backdoor and went home straight. Later that night, Johnny was shouting and yelling about his engagement to you. Mark and Haechan was shocked to the core. You were right, Johnny will brag.

It was a heartbreaking moment for you. Letting go of the person you love for the person you have to love. You stayed in bed for a whole day, not eating or drinking. Just letting the day pass by until you feel better. When you finally had the will to check your phone, there were a bunch of messages from Mark that may be full of anger or hate. You didn’t even think about opening it. Not a chance.

Wedding preparations made you get up in bed, you have no choice. Johnny’s mom and your mom, joined forces to help you decide for this wedding. Seeing yourself wear a wedding gown just makes you tear up in front of everyone. They were all completely clueless about the pain that you’re carrying, they thought it’s tears of joy. It’s not.

The wedding is still months away but you doubt that what you feel towards Johnny will change and go back to how it used to be. Sure, you loved the man. Loved. In the past tense. You just don’t want to disappoint anyone from now on.

One fine evening, after having a hot shower, you decided to read some of Mark’s hate messages and make yourself guilty even more. Maybe knowing that Mark hates you will make you feel somehow alive about this wedding.

But they were not hate messages. It was a bunch of messages, full of love and confession. Begging you not to marry someone you don’t love and be with him instead.

‘Don’t marry him, please’

‘Let’s make this right, I’m sorry’

‘I can marry you too’

TEN YEARS LATER

You jumped to the big hotel bed leaving your husband with the heavy bags. Seeing you so relaxed and not working your ass off is a relief to him. You saw him crossing his arms and leaning on the wall so handsomely, as always. Fate was on your side, thankfully. Over the years, you and Mark loved each other without limits. No more hiding.

He pours two glass of wine, remembering the first time you had sex during your birthday. “Here, happy Valentine’s day” he kissed you on the lips before you take a sip and made a mess again. He laughed and laughed and laughed at your clumsiness.

“The first time this happened, you can’t get enough of me” you scoffed and removed your dress shirt exposing yourself in front of your husband.

“And nothings change since that day, I love you”

#nct-writers #nct smut #mark lee smut #nct mark lee smut #nct mark lee fluff #nct mark lee angst #mark lee x reader #nct snenario #nct imagines #mark lee angst #smut mark lee

[elenatria]

Ignorant hard-working bastard chapter 11

(x)

The minute Valery found himself back in Boris’ Chaika, the turning of his stomach made him regret every single drop of Abrau-Durso he had washed down as he hopelessly watched Boris reunite with Nikolai Ivanovich Ryzhkov, the high-ranking old friend whose impeccable looks and suave manner made heads turn. Still, he couldn’t tell if it was the sour aftertaste responsible for the sickness uncoiling in his gut or the feel and smell of leather all around him. Only that morning the sticky sensual texture rubbing against his half-naked hips was setting his senses on fire, making him feel desirable, lighting up every single nerve as Boris teased and worked him to completion with adoring eyes and lips whispering sweet praise; Boris, who wiped Valery clean after the deed and saved his precious load in a handkerchief like the biggest state secret, like a contract of ownership kept in his pocket.

It was that same Boris who let Premier Ryzhkov claim his lips in front of everyone with a single swipe of his tongue only half an hour after that handkerchief had been safely tucked away.

Valery sank into the seat, barely keeping himself from wincing as his fingers squeezed into the luxurious material that made that shiny black “seagull” so special. He cringed at the thought that he wasn’t the only man who had been played with in that car.

He realized he all but muttered his contempt when he caught a glimpse of Boris’ face as the older man retreated in his corner throwing him side glances, his pride relentlessly beaten out of him.

Boris’ mouth dropped slightly open letting out a shallow breath in wordless apology. His hand rose and hovered midair, undecided, before he let it rest next to Valery’s tightened fist.

“Valery, I—”

An unfinished sentence, a failed attempt at explaining how the world works.

Valery could hardly spare him a glance, let alone put up with a mouth blurting out excuses or the hesitant drumming of fingers next to his. Restless fingers, eager to touch him.

No.

“There are things I did before I knew you.”

There it was. The hard truth.

“You could have told me before we came here,” Valery snarled through clenched teeth.

“Tell you what? Give you a full list of all the people I’ve--”

Valery shot him a fierce look. Of course he didn’t want to know. “So you mean I had to find out through Ryzhkov’s ‘fraternal kiss’?” he said instead. “Or the way he rubbed your shoulder or how he was--”

Boris shook his head. “He wasn’t rubbing my shoulder…”

“Oh for Christ’s sake,” Valery huffed out as he turned back to the window, pressing his lips shut against a hard fist.

Boris raised his hands with a loud, exasperated breath. “So I didn’t give you a detailed report on how things work around here. I thought it was all in the past. It is in the past. I just… didn’t see the necessity of filling you in the gruesome details.”

“Not so gruesome if I can judge by ‘Kolya’,” Valery murmured bitterly recalling the prime minister’s boyish dimples and radiant smile.

“Look. Valery. The man is impulsive like that. It’s one of his attributes that I could never warm up to. He probably didn’t expect to see you here, on my side, and I sure wasn’t going to tell him. He… reacts when someone plays with his toys.”

Toys. Unbelievable.

“So you mean you were going to hide me from him?”

“No,” Boris roared. “What I mean is that I don’t have to report to him either. I don’t care what he thinks. Look this is—” he waved tiredly. “This is all one huge misunderstanding. I’m with you. What more do you want me to say?”

Valery rolled his eyes; he had no place for remorse in his heart, not yet. The man next to him begging for his forgiveness needed to be punished a little more.

He felt those persistent eyes contemplating his hand, his knuckles still white from the squeezing of leather.

Boris leaned over him, sliding a timid palm over the back of his hand. “Valera--”

“No,” Valery hissed. “Don’t touch me.”

 When they entered the lobby of the Ukraina Hotel, Valery’s nostrils were instantly hit by the warm satiating scent of freshly baked food. His stomach growled in protest reminding him that wine and jealousy weren’t good advisors when it came to bodily needs. He tried to keep up with Boris as the silver-haired man made his way through tables following the head waiter who led them to a private booth, a little corner in the luxurious restaurant that was as enticing as it was unnerving.

The lights in the secluded space were lower than the rest of the dining room, its discreet entrance framed by red velvet curtains that seemed to open to a small stage oozing with depraved elegance. Valery fumbled idly with the buttons of his jacket as Boris’ clear resonant voice introduced him to Yegor Kuzmich Ligachev, Secretary for Ideology, and Sergey Fyodorovich Akhromeyev, Chief of the General Staff of the Soviet Armed Forces. The two men nodded back with granite, unsmiling faces.

Valery noticed a mirror covering the wall behind the leather-clad benches where Gorbachev’s entourage was sitting and, as if scared of his own image, he turned his gaze away from his clumsy, unkempt reflection; he felt so out of place among those men of power, so awkward, so humbled by their silk ties and flawless French suits.

The General Secretary sat among them clutching a spoon, an imposing presence that some months ago would have made Valery’s mouth dry just by wiping his glasses. Still, Valery’s uneasiness during those first Kremlin meetings was nothing but a pale memory compared to his current state, his heart almost bursting out of his chest as a younger man held his gaze, inspecting every inch of him with piercing eyes and a knowing, sphinxlike smile.

“Boris, finally!” exclaimed Nikolai Ryzhkov, leaping to his feet as soon as the tall Ukrainian was done introducing the man of science who had captured his attention. “Come join our little party of expensive wine and cheap gossip.” He pushed his way through knees, spoons and napkins until Boris’ hand was nestling in his palm, held and squeezed for what Valery found an inappropriate amount of time.

To Valery’s surprise, instead of keeping his eyes locked on the man he had known for years, Ryzhkov turned to him beaming with enthusiasm. “I’m so glad you boys could join us,” he chirped. “Come sit!”

Valery blinked, his forehead creasing with doubt: this wasn’t the man he had met a few hours ago. He was warm, cordial, open-hearted. No trace of arrogance in his voice, no sarcasm, no obnoxious smirk. As if nothing had happened.

Ligachev and Akhromeyev got on their feet to make way for Boris and Valery while Ryzhkov returned to his seat, interlacing his fingers under his chin.

“What will you have?” he asked the newcomers eagerly. “I’m afraid we already had Borscht soup but Beef Stroganoff and kotleti are next.”

“I’m—not hungry,” Valery mumbled as his belly growled louder than before. “I’ve had too much wine, I don’t think my stomach can take it.”

“On the contrary, you should eat,” Ryzhkov insisted and slid his half-full bowl in front of him. “Have some soup, it will make you feel better. Never drink alcohol on an empty stomach,” he advised resting his hand on Valery’s shoulder.

Valery all but flinched at the touch.

Ryzhkov, as if sensing the uneasiness, instantly withdrew his hand and cleared his throat spreading a napkin on his lap.

“So,” he said, “how do you like your return to Moscow so far? I don’t mean today’s meeting of course,” he joked as he threw a playful glance at Gorbachev. “Will you be visiting family? Friends?”

Valery flicked a look at Boris. “We… are going to the hospital tomorrow. For treatment.”

“Oh.” A dark cloud passed over Ryzhkov’s face draining it of all glee. “I’m—I’m so sorry,” he muttered, his brow furrowing in honest concern. “I hadn’t realized—”

“It’s nothing,” Valery shrugged indifferently, “it’s standard procedure.”

Ryzhkov’s gaze took a darker shade as he considered the faces of the two men, maybe noticing for the first time dark circles of exhaustion under their eyes, sunken cheeks and the faint yet ominous tint of nuclear tanning.

“I wish there was more I could do,” he muttered, his voice breaking with what seemed, what must have been regret. “I wish none of this had happened. To either of you.” He waved towards Ligachev. “Yegor and I will soon be visiting Chernobyl but—"

Once more, Valery blinked at the man before him.

“You do enough already, Kolya,” Boris reassured him, his warm comforting tone making Valery wonder why on earth he had been mad at this man just a few minutes ago. “Not every soldier dies in battle.”

Ryzhkov responded with a sad smile. “I guess one of us is stronger than the other,” he said. “Can I offer you dessert at least?”

Their shared laughter chased away the last traces of darkness in their eyes.

“Do you like sweets, Professor Legasov?” the prime minister asked and leaned back to make room for the waiter who placed the steaming main course in front of him. “I recommend their Medovik cake if honeyed pastry is your thing.”

“Valery.” The word slipped out of Valery’s mouth like it was nothing.

Ryzhkov arched his brows, his eyes two perfectly round marbles of surprise. “Oh.”

“You can call me-- Valery,” the scientist repeated, a timid, hesitant smile playing on his lips.

Boris, who had already stabbed a piece of beef with his fork, blinked at Valery with disbelief. A glimmer of joy and relief flashed through his eyes.

“Valery,” Ryzhkov echoed tasting the word on his lips like sparkling wine.

Valery forgot to breathe as that broadening smile gave his cheeks a red flush. He felt exposed; had he just given permission to that polished bureaucrat to call him by his first name?

This is bad, especially if he keeps staring at me like that.

But Ryzhkov wasn’t staring. He was smiling.

Not Ryzhkov, Valery corrected himself.

Kolya.

He took a shallow breath. Averting his eyes from that handsome face was harder than he thought until he felt a strong hand gliding up his back, clasping his nape with firm, possessive strokes.

“But he’s Valera to me,” Boris intervened, his assertive rasp making the colour on Valery’s cheeks take a deeper hue.

“Of course he is…” Ryzhkov agreed, his eyes shimmering with more than fascination as he took a sip of wine.

Valery could have sworn there was an unmistakable tint of envy in that gaze.

He spread the napkin over his knees and very very carefully sliced a morsel of beef; the last thing he needed was sour cream splashing all over his shirt.

He darted a nervous glance around the table rolling a slippery mushroom with his tongue. It seemed as if Ryzhkov’s warm-hearted enchantment had changed everything: the low lights in their booth weren’t threatening. Gorbachev didn’t look as ominous as Peter’s Wolf anymore, he was just a man enjoying his meal with friends as he bragged about his wife, Raisa, who made better Beef Stroganoff than the Ukraina’s chef de cuisine. Even Ligachev made a joke about the wine saying he should have brought a bottle of tarasun from his native Siberia.

“Fermented mare’s milk?” Boris teased. “I’d rather not drink anything that comes from a horse’s teat.”

“I’m certain this is not the weirdest milk you’ve ever had,” Ryzhkov quipped, glass in hand, flashing an inconspicuous smile around the table.

Valery was so full of food and wine that he hardly paid any attention to his jabs anymore. He leaned back in an effort to release some of the pressure on his belly but the cold mirror behind him made him wince. He shuddered and sat on his hips again, grumbling, squeezing a thumb between his belt and stomach. He was dying to let go of that stiff band of leather even if he knew he’d never dare do that in Gorbachev’s presence.

Boris’ knee twitched against his; despite his vivid participation in every saucy joke and gossip flying around the table, Boris was constantly keeping an eye on him: when Valery knitted his brow fidgeting with his belt, Boris’ eyes shot straight to the source of his discomfort. As if by instinct, his massive palm roamed across Valery’s back, the tenderness in his touch reminiscent of a father with a baby on his shoulder.

“If you’ll excuse me, I need to use the bathroom,” he said patting Valery to make him get up. “I have to wash my hands.”

Ryzhkov looked up, smiling at his old friend as he walked past him.

As soon as Boris disappeared, the prime minister turned to Valery. “About earlier this evening…” He paused.

Valery felt his stomach clench; if he had to endure one more insult from Boris’ ex lover--

“I was completely out of line,” Ryzhkov cut off his thoughts, his voice as smooth as velvet. “I apologize.”

He clicked his tongue playing with Valery’s unused dessert spoon, biding time, as if looking for the right words into that shiny piece of silver.

“The truth is… I’ve never seen Boris happier,” he admitted holding Valery’s gaze. “I guess I’m a little jealous,” he shrugged, an apologetic smile rising on his lips.

Valery studied his handsome face, the soft lines framing his eyes and the deeper ones around his mouth. He never thought he’d see a melancholic smile trying so hard to be a confident smirk, the politician’s compromise, the forced hypocrisy, the regret. A few hours ago he would have wished to be that man, the center of Boris’ attention, his boss, his glorious sinful past. But if he could judge by the look in the man’s eyes, Nikolai Ivanovich Ryzhkov had ceased being the center of Boris’ attention a long time ago.

The prime minister pressed his lips together. “I have no reason to be jealous of course,” he muttered almost talking to himself, the booth’s dim light adding more lines and shades on a face that had never looked so old and tired. “I was the one who set the rules after all, and the rules were ‘there are no rules’”.

He chuckled at his own joke like there was no one there to hear.

“But Boris is not climbing the Party ladder these days,” his voice trailed off, “he’s on top of it. He doesn’t need me anymore.”

He fell silent.

When he gazed up at Valery again, he looked as lost as a man could be.

“It seems to me Professor Legasov’s rules are the only rules he wants to follow,” he nodded, forcing a pained smile. “You offer a structured life, Valery, even if a hidden one. I could never do that. Too public. Too late.”

Valery’s face went blank. Maybe he was supposed to feel sorry for him, maybe he should be relieved that his opponent finally admitted defeat. But as Kolya stared deep into his soul with shimmering eyes, his perfectly groomed brow burdened with the weight of memory, Valery didn’t feel a single thing.

Ryzhkov lifted his hand to fold the scientist’s pocket square that was hanging out like an unruly tongue, giving him a whiff of his scented hand cream.

“Tell him to take better care of you,” he urged Valery, his eyes focused on the now perfectly folded piece of cloth. “And tell him that a trip to Paris to get you better suits will do you good, or Vienna. Beautiful places, both of them.”

He stared into Valery’s eyes as if he was staring at his own reflection, at a better version of himself. “He’ll take you there if you ask him to, Valery Alexeyevich,” he muttered, his faint smile twitching with nostalgia and regret. “He’ll find a way. He always does.”

This time Valery didn’t flinch as the man gave his jaw a gentle tap with the tip of his finger. It finally dawned on him that there was more than territorial pissing in the Premier’s behaviour; Nikolai Ivanovich Ryzhkov desperately wanted to be friends with someone who hadn’t spent his entire life kissing the ground that powerful people walked on. For a man crowded by questionable allies, flatterers and enemies, maybe a friend was the one luxury the prime minister of the Soviet Union couldn’t buy. Valery realized he could have been his friend - but not in this life.

“What are you boys talking about?” Boris’ booming voice pulled him out of his thoughts.

With a blink, Ryzhkov was the confident statesman again. “I was just telling Valery that you need to get him a suit that matches the sparkling blue of his eyes,” came the quick answer.

“I did get you a blue suit when we were in Pripyat,” Boris reprimanded Valery as he sat beside him, “what did you do with it?”

“I – uh..”

“Local tailors?” Ryzhkov scoffed, “Borya, you should take him to Paris, the man deserves to be spoiled after all he’s been through. A little depravity never hurt anyone.”

The tip of Boris’ tongue flicked through his teeth, his voracious gaze caressing Valery’s curves down to his crotch. “It surely didn’t…”

Valery suddenly felt completely naked.

Boris spread his exceedingly long arm across the top of the bench, inches away from Valery’s back, the familiar warmth tickling the bespectacled man’s nape. Valery couldn’t follow the conversation anymore, he was craving to be touched even if he was certain the man next to him would never dare let his thick fingers wander off in front of the General Secretary and his Napoleon cake.

Boris leaned over him. “Are you all right?” his breath ghosted over Valery’s ear. “You don’t look too well.”

“I’m--” Valery let out a long sigh tilting his head back. “I cannot breathe,” he murmured, resigned.

Boris gave him an amused smile. “Too many kotletti?” he joked running a hand over his belly.

Valery stiffened at the inappropriate touch, shifting his eyes from Gorbachev to Ryzhkov then to Ligachev. They surely saw what happened, didn’t they? But those grey and formal faces didn’t blink, didn’t seem to notice his flushed expression or Boris’ intrusive hand under the tablecloth as they enjoyed their desserts. They were all blissfully oblivious.

He huffed out a breath nodding sleepily. “…Yes.”

“You might consider loosening that,” Boris advised him pushing a thumb between Valery’s buckle and his navel; he patted his back, urging him to sit closer to the table. “C’mon, nobody’s going to see you.”

Valery, throwing a nervous glance at the Politburo members who were now too engrossed in their discussion to notice his discomfort, scooted forward pulling the tablecloth over his lap and unbuckled his belt. A sigh of relief escaped his lips just as the stiff strip of leather let his stomach loose.

Before he could reach for his glass, Boris’ fingers were shamelessly cupping his sac, massaging into the scratchy fabric of his pants. Valery’s breath caught in his throat as blood rushed through the veins of his waking manhood, the tip already giving lazy jerks against his briefs.

He swallowed hard, his throat begging for any kind of liquid, anything at all. This was no time for intimacy no matter how easily, how effortlessly his traitorous body was responding to Boris’ little game.

“What are you doing?...”

“Exploring you,” Boris cooed as he gave Valery’s balls a gentle squeeze. “Working you. Owning you.”

“Here?!...” Valery hissed, his eyes widening in terror.

“Where else?” Boris said plainly. “They need to know you’re mine. Look at them.” He gestured at the men around the table. “You’re dessert to them and everyone wants to get a taste, especially Kolya. That’s what he was telling me when you were staring at us like an idiot back at the reception, that you’d be a delectable addition to their meetings.”

“Meetings, what meetings?” Valery almost shrieked.

Boris’ eyes twinkled with mischief.

Valery felt the urgent need to pee when he saw Gorbachev patting his lips with a napkin before rising to his feet. He buckled his belt swiftly, tucking the shirt in as if their booth was on fire.

“Misha,” Boris spread his arms, his voice calm as usual. “Don’t tell me you’re leaving, it’s too early.”

“Well,” the General Secretary gestured at his entourage to get up, “it’s getting late and Raisa won’t let me hear the end of it.”

“You should tell her you had a late-night Politburo meeting,” Ryzhkov suggested with a knowing smirk. “An urgent one...”

Gorbachev took a deep sigh. “I’m afraid this lie has gotten old,” he answered putting on his glasses.

Ligachev and Akhromeyev gave the three men a little nod and followed their leader out of the private booth.

Ryzhkov waved at the waiter. “Time to go.”

“You too, Kolya?” Boris protested, his fingers kneading into Valery’s knee and inner thigh. “You’re leaving us? Dessert simply doesn’t taste the same without you,” he added, his voice deeper than usual.

“Oh, I’m skipping dessert,” Ryzhkov replied as he put on his jacket, throwing a quick glance at both of them. “I think I’ve had way too many sweets in my life.”

He slid a one hundred ruble note into the waiter’s hand telling him to keep the change. The waiter thanked him with a little bow and went to serve another table.

“I’ll let you have mine,” the prime minister gestured towards his Medovik cake. “You boys have fun without me. Valery, can I hug you?”

Valery’s face went white as a sheet, the bulge between his thighs threatening to expose him if he got on his feet, but the Premier quickly bent down and wrapped his arms around him, kissing both cheeks. Before letting go, Ryzhkov whispered in his ear.

“I’d give you the fraternal kiss as well but Boris said he’d make a necklace of my privates if I dared do that.”

They both smothered a laugh. Valery was grateful that they could share this tiny moment, a glimpse of what it would be like to be friends with this man.

Ryzhkov tightened his grip around him, his lips almost touching his ear. “A little word of advice,” he murmured. “Our boy likes to bottom occasionally.”

Valery felt his jaw drop, all the blood in his body rising to his cheeks.

“He likes…” Ryzhkov continued, “well… losing control when the pressure is too much. So many responsibilities on his shoulders, you understand. He won’t admit it at first but trust me, he will be thanking you later - with tears of gratitude most probably.”

He gave Valery’s cheek one last kiss and before the scientist could utter a proper “goodbye”, he was gone.

Valery turned to Boris, his head still turning with embarrassment and the maddening desire to know how the barrel-chested deputy minister would sound like if he allowed someone to enter him, to fuck soft whimpers out of him. Boris’ long arms were sprawled out on both sides of the bench, his pelvis scooted forward, his knees spread and waiting.

“Well?”

“Well what?” Valery replied adjusting the foggy glasses on his nose.

“What did he tell you?”

“He… uh…”

Boris lifted a finger. “You’re blushing,” he laughed.

“No, I’m not!” Valery yelped.

“Yes, you are!”

“I’m…” Valery shook his head and looked away.

Boris placed a palm on his reddened cheek and turned his face until their eyes met.

“If it’s a secret between him and you, I don’t mind,” he said in a soft comforting voice. “I just thought I’d let you know that I’m jealous. And I hope you don’t mind either.”

“No,” Valery said firmly, his jaw stiffening with pride. “There is no secret between him and me. No more secrets, Boris.”

As the endless hours of tension between them began to melt away, Boris’ face finally relaxed into the brightest of smiles.

He nodded in agreement. “No more secrets.”

#chernobyl #valoris #ignorant hard-working bastard #ao3 #chapter 11 #no more secrets #nikolai ryzhkov #valery legasov #boris shcherbina #МИКОЛА ІВАНОВИЧ РИЖКОВ #valoris fanfiction #chernobyl fanfiction #jealousy #bottom boris #gorbachev

[crystalirises]

Lake

Tumblr back at it again with deleting my posts ;-;

So yeah.... reupload of that Parent!Eret and Fundy fic.

They ran a hand through their messy brown hair, the sun beating down at them from above as they settled against the smooth surface of a marble column. Their bones ached with fatigue.

Eret watched as the clouds rolled by in the sky, a calm afternoon breeze sweeping through the newly built land of New L’Manburg. It had been over a month since Dream had dethroned and casted them from their castle, tossed to the agitated wolves that comprised Pogtopia’s army. They could still feel the harsh glares that everyone had burned into Eret’s skin, the distrust in their gazes.

They pulled the flimsy brown cloak tighter around their shoulders, a piece of old clothing that Niki had cheerfully given to them the moment they had expressed their desire to move into New L’Manburg. Niki felt like their only ally in a country that detested their very existence. Not that they could blame everyone… not after what they did. The nightmares still plagued his mind, the horror in their companions’ eyes as it dawned upon them what Eret had done. There were nights where they would stare at the ceiling, Eret’s pure white eyes the only light source in a desolate room that felt too suffocating despite its spacious quarters. There wasn’t a day that went by where their heart didn’t ache with regret. Would they be here now if they had refused Dream’s offer in the beginning? Was all of this Eret’s fault? It felt like it was… Wilbur would be alive if they―

“Eret!”

They glanced up, freezing before a familiar pair of fox ears caught their eye. A soft smile formed on their lips as Fundy sat down beside them, a wide grin on his face as he fiddled with something in his hands. Eret had no doubt that Fundy had just gotten back from scamming some poor unknowing soul. Fundy’s gold-flecked brown eyes glanced at the large unfinished structure behind them, his brows furrowing as his ears twitched at the top of his head. Eret pursed their lips, wondering how Fundy would react to the building’s true purpose. They had thought it best if they had tried to create a museum in honor of… the first L’Manburg. It felt ironic… but someone had to do it. No matter how much it stung to go through memories of the past. It had to be done.

“Gold for the king.” Fundy’s voice broke through their thoughts, casting away the haze that had plagued him for days. There was a cheerful smile on Fundy’s face, his hands holding what seemed to be a stack of gold. Eret blinked at the offering, their mouth agape with confusion as they finally looked into the fox hybrid’s eyes. Fundy’s tail was curled around his waist, his ears twitching as he waited for Eret’s reply. Eret hadn’t the faintest clue on what to say. Their last conversation was years ago, during that strange time where Fundy decided to decorate their castle with faux flamingoes. Eret missed those flamingoes. “They’re not stolen, Eret. You gotta trust me on that.”

“I trust you, Fundy.” Eret’s hand hovered above the gold, guilt striking their heart at the momentary thought of this being a scam. Fundy bit his bottom lip, not missing the way they hesitated before taking the gold into his hold. Eret carefully tucked the gift away into their inventory, a small smile on their face. “I do believe you, Fundy. You have to understand my hesitation, I’m not quite on anyone’s friend list regardless of my ‘change of heart’ during the final war. What is this gold for?”

“I don’t have any use for them…” Eret knew a lie when they heard one, they know what it was like to lie. Fundy’s gaze shifted to the side, his fingers twitching before they finally settled into picking at his sleeve. Eret reached out a hand, gently moving Fundy’s hand away from his jacket’s sleeve. They didn’t want Fundy to tear into the cloth. “And… I heard about the dethroning thing.”

“You just found out now?” Eret raised a brow at that. They assumed everyone knew by now, Dream didn’t exactly keep George’s coronation a private affair. “I’m not a king. I never was.”

“I refuse to call George a king.”

“Well, he’s the new king. There is nothing to be done about that.” They pressed their fingers at the bridge of their shades, pushing up as it had begun to slip. “And how are you, Fundy?”

Eret turned to Fundy, their piercing gaze causing the fox hybrid to shift in place. They didn’t miss the way Fundy’s shoulders shook, the poorly concealed dark circles beneath his eyes. Though Fundy kept a smile on his face, their was a pain in his eyes that made Eret’s heart pang with a familiar regret. Everyone had lost something during the war, but Fundy most of all. He had lost his father, his home, his birthright, and now… Eret knew Fundy didn’t know what to do with himself. They were both foreigners in a land that regarded them with distaste and with mockery. They were the outcasts, the forgotten, and the traitors. No one wanted either of them.

“I’ve been… busy. Did you know it takes an entire week to fill in a crater? Well… half a crater. Tubbo made the presidential decision to build on top of the corpse of the old L’Manburg. It’s been great. It’s been great.” Eret watched as Fundy’s tail bristled at his own words, his shoulders hunching up as he kicked at a loose pebble on the ground. They hadn’t offered their services in the rebuilding of L’Manburg, not that Tommy would have allowed them to help. Fundy sat down, pulling his knees closer to his chest as he buried his head in his arms. Eret crouched down beside him. “Oh… and Wilbur’s back. Ghostbur… You know Ghostbur, right? He doesn’t remember much. He doesn’t remember what I did… what he did… and I think… he barely remembers me…”

There’s a wobble in Fundy’s voice, a strained sob that seemed to have been forced down. Eret placed a hand on his back, small tremors racing up and down Fundy’s spine. They could hear the soft sniffles, muffled but clearly there. Eret wondered when was the last time Fundy allowed himself to cry. They felt sick… who taught Fundy to cry so quietly? Eret took a deep breathe, hoping that they wouldn’t find claws digging into their skin in just a few seconds. They pulled Fundy into a hug, the fox hybrid stilling in their hold before finally melting into the touch. Fundy’s arms wrapped around their neck, his head leaning against Eret’s chest. Eret pulled him closer.

“It’s okay, Fundy. You’re allowed to mourn. It’s just the two of us right now… and you know I would never judge you.” Fundy was violently shaking in his hold, a cold chill spreading across Eret’s shirt as Fundy began to cry. Eret placed a hand on the top of Fundy’s head, caressing his still ash-covered hair. It had been a month and yet the residue of war still haunted Fundy, both physically and mentally. Eret closed their eyes, basking in the silence of the afternoon. They rarely got visitors to the museum, and even if someone were to stumble upon them, Eret would make they didn’t see Fundy. Fundy never did like to cry in front of people. Their heart broke as Fundy let out a soft whimper. Maybe… maybe if they hadn’t betrayed L’Manburg during the first war, Fundy would still have a dad. Fundy wouldn’t be an orphan. A scared and unwanted orphan.

“Thank you.” Fundy moved away, wiping at the tears in his eyes. Eret gave him a soft smile, placing a hand on his shoulder. Fundy sniffed, holding onto their hand as if it was a lifeline. It was times like these where they were reminded that Fundy was just a kid… now he was an orphan. The thought terrified them. Fundy may be Techno’s nephew but everyone knew Techno wouldn’t hesitate to kill him if given the chance. Eret couldn’t let that happen. Not to Fundy. “Shit. Sorry. I can… uh… pay you more gold for the shirt. Fuck. You shouldn’t have seen me like this.”

“We’ve known each other for years, Fundy. I remember when you were but a kit… you were a lot shorter then. You were terrified of me at the start, commenting on my… odd eyes. It took a while but you eventually warmed up to me. You rarely cried as a kid, but when you did you always ran to me. Years have passed… but one thing remains unchanged. No matter what happened – no matter what may happen – I am still your confidante. You need not be wary to come to me in your time of need.” A smile found its way to Fundy’s lips, a momentary joy that didn’t sit right with Eret. The tearstains remained on Fundy’s cheeks, a reminder that not all was quite well. Fundy… Fundy needed someone. Someone who could protect him. Someone who could bring back the life into those dull brown eyes. Fundy needed a parent. Eret didn’t know if they were the right person, but Fundy needed someone who cared. “Hey… You’re an orphan now―”

“Thanks for ruining the moment, Eret. No need to rub it in―”

“No! I didn’t mean it like that, Fundy. I would never― It’s just…”

They glanced over at him. Fundy’s ears were pressed against the top of his head, his eyes narrowing into thin slits as he bared his teeth. Eret wished he hadn’t begun in the way they did.

“You need a dad.” Fundy paused at that, glancing up at them in shocked silence. Eret fiddled with the bottom of their shirt, the proposal hanging in the air between them. They didn’t know if they would be enough – didn’t know if Fundy even wanted them – but Fundy needed to be safe. He needed someone who would think of him first – someone who would choose Fundy before anything. Someone who would show him that he mattered. Fundy bit his bottom lip, eyes casted low to the ground… but he moved a bit closer to Eret. After a few seconds, Fundy looked up once more, a cautious look in his gaze as he waited for Eret to say what they wanted. “You need someone who could care for you. Someone who would make you feel wanted. I may not be the best option, Fundy. Anyone else might be better suited for such a task. But if you will have me… then I would like to take you in. What I’m saying is… I want to adopt you, Fundy.”

The silence made their heart burn with ache. Of course, Fundy wouldn’t want them. Why would he? “I know you want someone else, anyone else. I know you probably have some semblance of hate for me. I shouldn’t have… I shouldn’t have asked… I’m sorry, Fundy. I-I-I’ll be leaving―”

Eret felt a hand grab at the collar of their shirt, yelping as they were pulled into an embrace. They held their breath. Fundy burrowed his head into the crook of their neck, his shoulders shaking as another bout of tears escaped the fox hybrid’s eyes. Eret returned the embrace, holding him closer to himself as if that would be enough to block him from the cruel world they lived in. Right now… all that mattered was the two of them.

“All I ever needed… was someone who wanted me more than I loved myself.”

They swore right then and there that they would be the best parent Fundy would ever have. Eret placed a hand on the back of Fundy’s head, holding him closer. They would be okay… Eret would make sure of it.

“I’ll try for you, Fundy. I promise… I’ll be here for you for as long as you need me.”

~~~

“Come onnnnnnnnn.” They chucked as Fundy pulled at the sleeve of their shirt, forcing Eret quicken their pace on the creaky wooden pier. The sun was setting in the distance, casting the lake in an ethereal glow of molten gold. Fundy had begged them to take him on a fishing trip – claiming to know the perfect spot to do so – and as Eret looked over at the serene waters, they were glad Fundy had suggested the idea. Fundy’s eyes held a spark, an excited gleam that Eret wished would never disappear. As they reached the end of the path, Fundy handed them a fishing rod. Eret didn’t know much about fishing, but it was worth seeing Fundy so giddy… almost child-like as he sat down near the edge, his legs dangling over the water. “Are you going to keep standing there?”

Eret blinked, casting a look towards the fox hybrid before taking a seat next to him. A soft wind blew past them, small waves fluttering through the water’s surface. They ran a hand through their hair, nearly knocking off the flower crown that Fundy had made for them earlier on in the day.

It was a cold afternoon, one that sent goosebumps down Eret’s skin as they looked up into the dying sky. A beautiful hue of pink, orange, and purple painted the sky with their radiance as fading gray clouds moved towards the distance. They looked back down at the lake. Its edges crowned by a massive display of pink flowers. Eret wondered who could have possibly had the time to plant them. Niki did say she was building a flower shop with Puffy… and a flower shop certainly needed flowers. Eret was brought out of their musings by a hand on their shoulder. They looked over at Fundy, a nervous glint in his eyes as he looked down at the unused fishing rod in his hands. Eret raised a brow at him, turning to cast their own hook into the water. They watched as the bobber floated up and down on the water’s surface, they waited for a few seconds, but Fundy didn’t follow after them. They threw a look towards the person in question, “Fundy? What’s wrong?”

“I um…” They watched as Fundy fiddled with the rod, his fingers biting into the wood as he looked out into the lake. His ears were pressed against his head as his shoulders hunched up. It only took Eret a second to realize what was wrong. They quickly moved closer to Fundy, pulling back their own fishing rod as they placed it on the space behind them. They clasped their hands over Fundy’s, a gentle hold that made Fundy’s tail wag a bit. Fundy chuckled, embarrassed that he couldn’t exactly hide the way he felt. “Wilbur used to promise me, when I was younger, that he would teach me how to fish. The wars and the election kinda pushed that back on his busy schedule, ya know?”

“I know. Wilbur… he was a busy man. I’m sure he planned to teach you… once the wars were over.” They both winced at that bittersweet lie. Wilbur didn’t plan anything after the war. He knew exactly what needed to be done and he didn’t once spare a thought for the people he’d leave behind. Eret shook their head at the thought, pushing down the horrible feel of loathing that threatened to form in their chest. Wilbur was a good father, he was just a revolutionary first. Eret turned back to the task at hand, helping Fundy hold the fishing rod in a proper manner before getting their own. Fundy’s gaze never strayed, watching as Eret held the fishing rod in the same way Fundy was holding it. “I didn’t fish as mush as Wilbur, but I could teach you the basics. If you want me to.”

Eret laughed as Fundy nodded his head, his flower crown nearly falling off. Eret had promised themselves to work on the museum, but when Fundy strolled in – a myriad of flowers in his arms – Eret knew their productive day was as good as gone. They didn’t mind, not when Fundy looked so happy… so carefree, as if the burdens of the past had vanished. Somedays… it seemed like everyone forgot that Fundy was just a kid. Fundy may look and act like a teen, but how could a child ever move past the trauma of battle? Everyone had grown up so fast. They all needed a break, a momentary peace where they could just unwind. They would give Fundy a chance at childhood, one that the hands of war took from him. Eret chuckled beneath his breath, Fundy tilting his head as if he wanted to know what Eret found to be so funny. Eret shook his head, giving the fox hybrid a reassuring smile. “I hope you’re a quick learner. Sun’s about to set, want to speedrun this?”

“Spee― pfft. I bet I could catch more fish than you.” Fundy flicked out a tongue at them, laughing despite himself. Eret rolled his eyes at the fox hybrid’s challenge. He couldn’t even fish and he expected to beat Eret? Oh, it was definitely on. Eret shook their head before turning to direct Fundy on how to use the fishing rod. It took a few tries, but Fundy eventually got the hang of it. Eret knew he could do it. Fundy was smart… but there was no way he was beating Eret at fishing.

The sun had disappeared into the sky before Fundy finally caught his first fish. Fundy looked up at it with awe, letting out small noise of surprise. Eret nearly laughed at Fundy practically pushed it into their face in his haste to show it to them.

“ERET! I CAUGHT ONE!”

“You sure did.” Eret smiled, placing a hand on Fundy’s head.

“Are you… are you proud of me?”

“I’m always proud of you, Fundy. I always will be, no matter what.”

~~~

Fundy pulled the brown cloak closer around his shoulders, shivering in the cool night air. The full moon casted a silver glow upon the water’s surface, a white abyss that looked tempting to fall into.

There was a heavy scent in the air, a bitter taste that sent a horrible chill down his spine. He focused on the pink flowers that dotted the lake’s edge, hoping the color would force his thoughts to calm down. It was a silent night in New L’Manburg, the lanterns casting the streets in dim golden rays. Fundy was glad for their presence. They gave him some semblance of comfort and warmth.

The day had been fun. He scammed a few people here and there and spent his entire afternoon with Eret. A smile found its way to his lips at the thought of his soon-to-be parent. It had been a week since Eret had asked him if he wanted to be adopted, and somehow, his world had looked a little brighter ever since that day. Eret looked at him as if he mattered… as if he was wanted. He didn’t know how to feel about that. His heart ached and crumbled at the dark thoughts that plagued his mind. Surely… surely this was a ploy? A trick? Eret wouldn’t want someone like him, right?

He began to pull at the tips of his hair, forcing down the sobs that threatened to slip past his lips. Eret couldn’t possibly be doing this because they cared. No one cared about him. He was a nobody, an orphan of a country long since dead. Who would willingly ever choose him? He wrapped his arms around himself, closing his eyes as tears pricked at the edges. Eret was doing this out of pity… out of some high moral obligation. There was no way… There was no way someone actually wanted him. Who would want him? The child forgotten by his own father and nation? This had to be some sort of cruel prank that would leave him broken by the end. Eret didn’t care. Eret shouldn’t care. His fingers gripped his forearms in a bruising grip as those horrible thoughts ran through his head. Eret didn’t want him. Eret couldn’t possibly want him. Eret would never―

He felt a heavy cloak being draped over his shoulders, a warm hand settling on top of his head. His eyes abruptly snapped open, a familiar pair of shades appearing within his vision. “E-Eret?”

“You shouldn’t be out here, Fundy. I don’t want you getting sick.” Eret made quick work of tying the cloak around Fundy, giving him a soft smile as they looked over at the lake. Fundy felt that strange pang in his heart. Eret sounded so sincere… but Fundy just couldn’t bring himself to believe it. Although he tried to hide it, Eret noticed the tears in his eyes. Fundy felt a hand on his cheek, a thumb wiping at the stray tears that had escaped him. Dre, he was pathetic. He leaned into the welcoming touch, wanting to pretend that Eret actually cared for him. “What’s wrong, Fundy?”

“I know you don’t care about me, Eret.”

“What?!” He felt Eret hold him closer, their other hand on his shoulder as if to keep them both steady. Fundy bit the inside of his cheek, wishing that Eret would stop pretending. It was worse that way. Best to rip the band-aid off as quickly as possible. “Fundy, what are you talking about?!”

“You can stop.” Fundy wished he could push them away, wished he was anywhere else but there. “I know you couldn’t possibly care about me. No one cares about me, Eret. I don’t expect you to. So, please stop pretending you do. Everyone leaves me eventually. I know you don’t care―”

He was pulled into a tight yet gentle embrace. Eret’s chin resting on his head.

“Don’t tell yourself those horrible things. I care a lot about you.” Fundy gripped the back of Eret’s shirt, sniffling as Eret rubbed a comforting hand down his back. “I wouldn’t have offered to adopt you if I didn’t. I care… a lot of people care. Fundy… do you really think no one cares about you?”

“They shouldn’t. Don’t you see, Eret? Anyone who’s ever loved me died…” Fundy couldn’t help but think of Wilbur… of Schlatt… of his late mother… Eret shouldn’t care. “I’m cursed, Eret. You’ll leave too… or you’ll die. I don’t want you to die, Eret. I don’t know if I could take it…”

“I suppose I’ll just have to make sure I don’t die then.”

Fundy rubbed at his eyes, tilting his head up to glance into Eret’s eyes… well, shades. Eret had a smile on their face, a reassuring gesture that made Fundy want to cry. “You can’t promise me that, Eret. You can’t promise me that.”

“But I will. You’re my son, Fundy.” He froze at the title. He hadn’t been called that in so long… at least not in a positive way. “I can’t promise you the world, but I can promise you that I care.”

“Heh… I guess you do care…” Fundy sniffled, feeling a smile on his lips as Eret finally let him go. “I’m sorry for doubting you.”

“We all have our doubts, Fundy. You need not apologize.”

“Yeah…” Fundy held onto Eret’s arm, clinging to it as if it were a lifeline. Eret didn’t make a move to escape his grasp, they only seemed to pull him closer to their side. Fundy laughed despite himself and the ache in his heart. Maybe he was wanted… “Can we go home now, ren?”

Eret smiled, “Of course, son.”

They walked away from the pier, the night wind billowing through their hair. Fundy closed his eyes, content to spend their walk back in comfortable silence.

He was glad to leave… the bitter smell of the foxgloves near the lake had begun to make him sick.

Yet… their poisonous scent lingered in the air.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So yeah...

This is connected to my previous one-shots titled ‘Clouds V.2.’ and ‘Foxgloves’...

I TRIED TO WRITE A WHOLESOME FIC BUT I DON’T HAVE A SINGLE WHOLESOME BONE IN MY BODY, OKAY?!

But yeah... hope you guys like this :DDD

#fundy #eret #mcyt #wholesome with a lot of angst #because i write angst not wholesome fics dammit #no i refuse to make a better title #i wrote 4k words you think i'm gonna do the title too? no

[pastelwitchling]

About your last fic: so wonderful but my heart broke for Alex. 😢 He doesn’t believe Michael and that he loves him as much as he loves Michael. Can you please write a part two where Michael shoves him (handprint???) how much he loves him and that he never loved/loves anyone as much as Alex??? Please I need a fic where Michael shows his love to him! PLEASE! Thx you! 🦋🌻 

***

               “Feels like old times, doesn’t it?” Michael said.

               He looked up. He and Alex were in a small room, sitting against opposite walls, their knees almost touching.

               Alex’s head fell back with a shaky sigh, his eyes falling shut. “What?”

               “Y’know,” Michael shrugged a shoulder. “Sneaking around together, running from the Big Bad, only safe with each other.”

               Alex scoffed, his eyes still closed. “You mean only in danger because of each other.”

               Michael’s smile dimmed. “Come on, Alex.”

               Alex pressed the bottom of his palm into his eye, his fingers coated in blood. Michael swallowed. “I’m sorry,” he said. “We don’t put each other in danger, that was a stupid thing to say.”

               “Hey,” Michael said, scooting closer so that their legs were tangled. “Hey. It’s gonna be okay. You know that right? I’ll get us out of here.”

               Alex dropped his hand, his eyes finding Michael’s in an instant. He smiled tiredly. “Yeah, I know.”

               Michael mustered a light tone as he leaned in, covering Alex’s hand on his stomach with his own. Michael’s bundled up jacket was almost soaked through-and-through now. Alex’s fingers coated, too, and frozen to the touch.

               “Just keep pressure on that, okay?”

               Alex nodded, his smile almost amused. “Okay.”

               They were silent a moment as Michael thought hard and quickly about what they could do. Outside were Project Shepherd agents looking for them, and Michael couldn’t bear thinking of what Jesse’s associates would do to Alex once they caught him. He’d taken the blame for Greg, and Michael had always asked him why, but now he understood. Alex had known this would happen, and had always sought to protect his brothers.

               His self-sacrificing, kind, beautiful, stupid airman.

               “Any second now,” he assured Alex when he suddenly winced in pain. “Max and Isobel and Liz and Kyle and your brothers – they’re all looking for us. They’ll find us. But not before I kick everybody’s ass out there.”

               Alex smiled like he wanted to laugh, but his brows were furrowed in pain and his eyes glistened with unshed tears.

               “Guerin,” Alex said and swallowed. “Michael. I… I need you to listen to me.”

               Michael leaned forward on his knees at once. “What is it?”

               “I love you.”

               He stilled. “What?”

               “I don’t care that you don’t feel the same way,” Alex went on. “I don’t care that you wanted someone else more. You’ve been it for me since the day I met you.”

               “I – Alex –”

               “I love you so much it hurts.” Alex huffed a wet chuckle and hissed. “Literally.”

               “Stop it,” Michael warned. “Stop talking like you’re… like you’re going to…”

               “I love you I love you I love you,” he whispered at the end, a tear falling down his cheek. “I’m not scared of dying, Guerin, but… what I said to you when I was with Forrest, all that anger…”

“Alex, please –”

“I don’t want it to be the last thing I tell you.” Alex’s eyes shut on a sigh. “Not as epic as you wanted, I know, but –”

Michael surged forward, kissing each of Alex’s eyes. He pressed their foreheads together roughly. “Stop talking. Stop saying goodbye to me. You and I never say goodbye to each other, remember? We both suck at it too much.”

Alex managed barely a huff of a chuckle, leaning heavily on Michael’s hands now cupping his jaw. “You’re shaking.”

“No, I’m not.” Michael tried to steady his hands. “You’re hallucinating.”

“It’s okay, Guerin,” he whispered so softly that, had Michael not been pressed so closely to him, he may have missed it. “It’s going to be okay.”

Michael wanted to cry at Alex repeating his own words back to him. He was supposed to protect Alex this time, and here the airman was, trying to comfort him.

               Until he wasn’t. Until his body sagged against the wall, and the hand that had been pressed against his wound fell limp onto the ground, and his head hung in Michael’s hands.

               “Alex?” Michael shook him. “Alex?!” Alex did not respond, and Michael moved in close enough that he was carrying Alex against his side. “No, no, no,” he breathed. “No no no no NO! Come on, Alex, wake up!” he begged, holding Alex’s face with one hand, his other around Alex’s shoulders. “Please, baby, please wake up. Open your eyes for me, come on.”

               But if Alex could hear him, he didn’t respond. He was as cold as ice, his breathing weaker. Michael pressed two trembling fingers to Alex’s neck, his pulse almost nonexistent.

               “Please, no,” he pressed his lips to Alex’s hair. “Please, not him. Not him.” Desperately, his hand fell from Alex’s jaw to his stomach, over his wound.

               “I don’t care that you don’t feel the same way.”

A tear fell down Michael’s cheek. “Please.”

“I don’t care that you wanted someone else more.”

“I’ll save you, Alex. I swear I will.”

“You’ve been it for me since the day I met you.”

               “Come on, Guerin,” he shut his eyes tight. “Focus. You can do this. Just focus on your powers.”

               “I love you.”

               A sob escaped Michael’s lips before he could help it, his nails digging into Alex’s skin.

               “I can’t do it,” he cried. “I’m sorry, Alex, I can’t do it.”

               He couldn’t focus on his powers, on the energy coursing through his veins, on gathering it all into one point. He couldn’t think of healing, and the science that went with that. He couldn’t think of anything but Alex.

               “I love you so much,” he breathed into his hair. “Please don’t leave me here.”

               He thought of the first time he’d seen Alex, but Alex hadn’t seen him. Here was this kid, dressed in all black with piercings and eyeliner. Everyone was keeping their distance from the scary-looking emo, but none of them saw Alex smile and laugh around Liz, the way his eyes glittered and turned hazel in the sunlight peeking through the classroom windows. None of them had heard Alex singing softly as he played the most beautiful piano music Michael had ever heard.

               So Michael had taken his guitar, hoping it would be enough to get his attention. And for the first time, Alex had talked to him. Really talked to him. Not only that, he’d offered Michael a safe space, because of course he did.

               Michael’s heart had hammered as Alex had said his name for the first time, and he’d never understood why. Until he did.

               “I love you,” he whispered, shutting his eyes tight. “I love you so much, Alex. Please wake up for me. Please wake up.”

               He thought of Alex laughing, Alex crying, Alex kissing him, touching him. He’d wanted more than anything to be with Alex, but something always seemed to get in the way. He couldn’t lose Alex again. It would kill him.

               He’d promised Alex, long ago, that he would protect him. And he’d failed at every turn, in every way. He couldn’t fail now. He’d die before he lost Alex again.

               Then a faint light shined behind his lids, and Michael opened his eyes to find his hand emitting a bright red glow.

               His skin felt searing hot, and his heart stuttered in his chest at the shock of what was happening, but somehow he managed to keep his hand on Alex’s wound.

               “Come on,” he whispered, even as pain began to overtake every inch of his body, even as he felt nausea eating at him from the inside, even as he felt every muscle and bone ache and burn. Still, he thought of Alex, his touch, his warmth, his joy and kindness and intelligence and courage. Everything that made him so relentlessly, wonderfully Alex.

               “Come on.”

               The red light glowed brighter than Michael had ever seen it glow on Max’s fingers, and it spread throughout every inch of Alex’s body, as if blanketing him.

               Then the light faded, Alex’s wound closed, and Michael only barely managed to hold the contents of his stomach back as Alex lay utterly still. A beat, two, three, then –

               Alex heaved a deep sigh, his eyes flying open as he sat up. Or tried to, at least.

               “Alex,” Michael breathed as Alex panted, looking around frantically. “Alex.” He pulled him in tighter against his chest, hugging him as more tears fell. “Alex. Alex. Alex.”

               “What,” Alex managed, his eyes wide. “What happened?”

               Alex clawed at his stomach, pulling up his shirt and jacket to reveal a handprint glowing the colors of the spaceship piece; violet and pink and orange and gold – right there, on Alex’s smooth, blood-stained skin.

               Alex looked up at Michael in wonder. “D-Did you –”

               “I don’t know how,” Michael shook his head, crying. And just because he couldn’t help it, he kissed the side of Alex’s head, then his cheek, all the while Alex dazed, as if he’d just woken from a long sleep. “I – I didn’t think I was – I was even doing it right. Alex,” he breathed his name again, kissing his temple. “You’re okay. You’re really okay.”

               “I’m… okay,” Alex muttered, looking just as surprised by it. “I’m okay.”

               “I love you so much,” Michael sniffled, kissing Alex’s cheek, then his jaw. His hand came down to cover his own handprint on Alex’s stomach, lacing his and Alex’s fingers together. “I love you.”

               “Michael,” Alex whispered, his brows furrowed, his eyes glassy, and his voice hoarse. “You saved me. Thank you.”

               Michael shut his eyes, holding Alex tighter. When would Alex realize that Michael would go to the ends of the earth for him? That he’d risk anything? Do anything?

               “You’re thanking me?” Michael huffed a wet chuckle into Alex’s soft hair. It seemed like an odd place to be inhaling his scent, to be so relieved and happy. “I should kill you.”

               Alex whimpered, clutching Michael’s jacket sleeve tightly as if afraid that he would suddenly disappear. “Okay, um,” he said. “One problem down. One to go. How’re we going to get out of here?”

               But before Michael could even try answering, his body rebelled at the first chance it got, and he twisted away from Alex, sitting on all fours to throw up.

               “Michael,” Alex gasped. He put a hand on Michael’s back, his other on Michael’s arm, keeping him steady. “It’s okay,” he said. “You’re okay.”

               Michael definitely didn’t feel it. His whole body ached, begging him to lie down, to stay still. But they had to escape. Michael had to get Alex home safely.

               He heaved, his lungs burning and his head swimming. Everything turned muffled. Only Alex’s voice was piercing through the cotton in his ears.

               “It’s going to be okay,” Alex promised him, his hold on Michael tight and warm and soothing. “I’m right here, I’ve got you.”

               But Michael already knew that. He may not have believed it ten years ago, may have feared losing Alex more than losing a limb, but things were different now. Now he knew, he understood. Alex had never wanted to leave him, but he always left because he’d felt forced, unwanted. None of that seemed to matter anymore. Alex seemed determined to stay at Michael’s side whether he was wanted or not.

               But he had to know now, didn’t he? He had to know how badly Michael wanted him. How badly he had always wanted him.

               That was when Michael heard it; something muffled creaking behind them. The room shined with light, and they both looked over their shoulders to find Max, Isobel, and Greg standing there, panting and ruffled.

               Alex still did not let Michael go, and Michael was glad for it, because right then, he passed out, falling sideways and onto Alex’s chest. Before darkness overtook him, Michael heard his siblings and Alex call his name, Alex’s arms warm and tight around him, keeping him safe, even as he slept.

                 Michael woke to find himself in his own small bed, Max’s face in Alex’s stomach, his fingers hovering just above the airman’s skin as Alex held his now clean sweater up, which was not a sight Michael ever wanted to wake up to; his brother staring at his airman’s body.

               “Hey,” Michael grumbled, his voice weak to his own ears. “What’re you doing to him?”

               Max did not move from his position as he shook his head, bent over to be at eye-level with Alex’s bellybutton, his eyes squinted.

               “Alex said you healed him,” he said. “I had to be sure.”

               Alex, on the other hand, looked only relieved that Michael had woken up. “You’re okay.”

               “Don’t move,” Max warned, touching the handprint gently with a finger.

               “Move,” Michael argued as he struggled to sit up. His head felt about a million pounds, but he held out his arms for Alex. “C’mere.”

               Alex huffed a weary chuckle, let his sweater down, and all but fell into Michael’s embrace, burying his face in Michael’s shoulder.

               “Alex,” he breathed into the crook of Alex’s neck. “You’re okay.”

               “Thanks to you,” Alex said. “I felt like my heart was about to stop.”

               Michael held him tighter. “Don’t talk like that. I told I would save you, didn’t I?”

               Alex leaned back despite Michael urging him to stay, and looked to Max.

               “It’s thanks to you, too, Max. If it wasn’t for you and Isobel and my brother…”

               Max shook his head, leaning against the opposite side of the trailer. “Nah. It was mostly Kyle and Liz and Flint, to be honest. If it hadn’t been for their little homemade knock-out serum, we would all be at Project Shepherd’s mercy.”

                “Still,” Alex said. “I owe you one.”

               “No, you don’t, Alex,” he said, his cheeks pink as he looked away. “You’ve done enough for all of us. I’ll – uh – go check on the others. Tell ‘em you guys are awake.”

               Alex and Michael nodded, and once the airstream door was closed, Alex sat back against the far end of Michael’s bed which, Michael thought, was much too far away.

               Alex was no longer smiling, though he let Michael hold onto one hand. “When I woke up, when you… used your powers to save me, I… I felt things, and…” he shook his head. “I’m going to ask this once, and then never again. It’s a question I’ve had since day one, and the one that I could never bring myself to ask… and I want an honest answer.”

               Michael held on tightly to his hand. He wanted more of him, to hold Alex in his arms, close to his chest, but he tried to focus on what the airman was saying, on the uncertainty of his tone, on the small furrow of his brows. “Shoot.”

               “Why did you choose Maria?”

               Michael stilled. “You think I chose Maria?”

               “I don’t think, Guerin, I know.”

               “Alex –”

               “Guerin,” Alex said with the air of someone who was struggling to speak at all. This question, Michael realized, terrified him. When he spoke next, it was in a whisper. “Why?”

               “I chose easy,” Michael said, a lump in his throat. “I chose new. And different. You were too… hard. I didn’t choose Maria, Alex. I just wanted easy.”

               Alex shook his head, his eyes glassy. “Did you love her?”

               “Yes,” Michael answered instantly. “But not like you think.”

               Hope bloomed in Alex’s miserable expression. Michael’s heart shattered as he realized that he was the one who had left the love of his life so broken in the first place. The one person he never wanted to hurt became the person he hurt most.

               “Yeah?” Alex breathed, his voice cracking.

               Michael shrugged a helpless shoulder, managing a quirk of his own lips, even as his eyes burned. “Yeah.”

               Alex pressed his lips together and took a deep breath, bracing himself for his last question. He visibly swallowed. “And me? Do you really feel…” he covered the hidden handprint with his own hand, “so much?”

               Michael wanted to cry. To think he had messed up so badly that Alex couldn’t believe the love he was given, the love Michael had for him.

               He reached for Alex’s stomach, covering Alex’s hand with his own. He wrapped his arm around Alex’s waist, and pulled him in against him so that Alex was almost straddling him. Michael pressed their foreheads together, his eyes fluttering shut at the contact.

               “We’re cosmic, Private,” he whispered, his mouth brushing Alex’s, his breath fanning Alex’s lips. “I’ll die before I lose you again. I’ll die.”

               He closed the distance between them, finally taking Alex’s lips in slow, open-mouthed kisses, sighing contentedly as he kissed Alex again and again and again. Alex cupped his jaw and kissed him as if he’d been starving, and Michael thought he actually might die in utter bliss. It felt so good to have Alex’s hands on him again, to feel Alex’s soft lips against his own, to feel Alex’s body press against his.

               Michael’s body still ached, but he wrapped his arms tighter around Alex’s waist, happy for the burning in his bones if it meant he got to hold Alex like this. He brought the airman down, laying him beside him on the bed and kissing him into the pillow.

               “No,” Alex suddenly said, trying to move, but Michael kept kissing his jaw, his neck, his collarbone. “W-We can’t, you just woke up.”

               “And I feel great,” Michael muttered, sliding a hand beneath Alex’s sweater, resting it on the handprint. Alex’s skin was still so smooth and warm, his body pleading to be touched, kissed, worshipped.

               “Y-You need to rest,” Alex said breathlessly, and gasped when Michael slid his tongue into his mouth.

               “I’d rather touch you.” Alex pushed gently at Michael’s shoulders, and Michael groaned as he was led back to lie in bed. “Alex!”

               “There’ll be plenty of time to touch you when you’re feeling better,” Alex said, caressing his cheek. He leaned in, took Michael’s lips in a bruising kiss that made Michael actually growl, and pecked him just once more before he sat up.

               Michael clutched his sleeve to keep him there, but Alex seemed to have no intention of leaving as he crossed his legs, settling into the opposite side of the bed. Michael was unable to help the smile that tore at his lips, nor the tears that filled his eyes as Alex covered his legs with the blanket, making himself comfortable right here in Michael’s space.

               Alex held up his sweater, looking down at the handprint. “This is insane,” he said with a shake of his head, smiling softly as if he couldn’t believe what he was looking at. “I can feel it, everything you… you feel, it’s – it’s almost overwhelming…. Hey, why are you crying?”

               “I’m not,” Michael sniffled, wiping his face roughly with one hand. He got up and put his head in Alex’s lap, hugging his waist tightly. “Just stay here. Don’t go anywhere, okay?”

               Alex said nothing for a moment, then Michael felt him shifting beneath him. For a second, Michael panicked that Alex was trying to leave. Then he felt the blanket come up to his chin, saw Alex drag over a pillow to place behind him so that he would be more comfortable. He felt Alex’s arm come around him, shielding him from the cold, his other hand resting in his curls.

               Michael wanted to curse at his eyes for tearing up again. He held Alex tighter and snuggled his face deeper into his lap, closing his eyes and inhaling Alex’s scent.

               “Go to sleep, Guerin,” Alex said so softly that the beautiful sound erased all the pain from Michael’s body. “I’ll be here when you wake up.”

***

Here it is; the last prompt in my inbox, and it was a malex one! For now, I’m not taking any more prompts, but I’ll let you guys know when I do.

Anon, I’m so sorry, I have a crap memory. I don’t even remember what first part this is referring to, but... here’s the second part 😅 In my defense, I write a lot of angst.

I’m also very sorry that this took so long. I promise you, I wanted to write it, and I had always planned to (it was just staring at me every time I went into my inbox), but I wanted to only respond with a fic that I was proud of, and I’m quite happy with how this one turned out. Could be better, obviously, but still. I do hope you enjoy it, and that it was -- again, so sorry 😖 -- worth the long wait.

#alex manes #michael guerin #malex #malex one shot #malex fanfic #malex fic #malex fanfiction #roswell new mexico #roswell nm #malex angst #malex fluff #tyler blackburn #michael vlamis

[hoodedwing]

Loyalty Killed Me

Summary: The Joker could finally do what he wanted to do, traumatize Nightwing

Characters: Nightwing. Harley Quinn. Joker. Mentions of Red Hood

Warnings: Just really sick ways of stitching people up. Blood. Depressive. Major character/s death mentions. Batman. Doctor Leslie Thompkins

Additional Notes: I know Joker cannot traumatize Grayson canon-wise? Please correct me if I’m wrong.

Word Count: 2,242 words

***

Time doesn't stop.

Time knows, in its hands. It plays around with the seconds. These seconds matter, someone dying, someone on the communicator whispering, ____ come get me. come get me, I can't go back.

Time doesn't freeze. Time does not have a cloak drapes around it in a timeless manner. Time does not walk in a regal manner and stroke your gaping wounds to cauterize them. Apply pressure because really, when did Time wait for you to stop the damned arterial spray? Have you seen first hand how much blood can spew, almost like a fountain from that serrated dagger?

Time has caught up with Dick Grayson, the Wonder Boy. The Nightwing Blüdhaven didn't deserve. The loving boyfriend/husband of Barbara Gordon. The first son of Bruce Wayne, Batman.

Batman. He doesn't know who's Batman. Not anymore.

-

3200..6400..12800..

Breathe. Breathe. Breathe. Remember, inhale slowly, inflate lungs. Let it circulate through. Let. Let it work.

Richard. That's your name. Your mother was beautiful and your father was handsome. You are a Grayson. You have brothers and sisters.

Pain.

Pain is relative. If you fuck with pain long enough, it won't fuck back with you. Pain spreads through him and he inhales deep, bigger breaths. Trying to drown out the searing ache. He succeeds, deceives his brain.

Dick Grayson is such a liar.

He knows how to lie, how to smile widely at the Blüdhaven precinct when shit goes down or still tell a joke or two when Damian is there.

Dick Grayson is such a liar.

He's a good man. Honest to goodness. He's fooled himself into thinking his left leg didn't feel on fire, he's successfully managed to stop gasping against the rattle of his chest, a rub or two might be the cause. Who knows?

BOY WONDER! SAD YOUR DEAREST BATMAN HASN'T COME TO SAVE YOU YET? WHY LOOK AT THAT.

Mistah J checks his watch and smiles, his crooked smile stares back at Richard.

Dick only looks away as the Joker's cold fingers run his slimy, skinny fingers along his body. He used to shiver under his touch in a bad way, he would gulp and squeeze his eyes shut, hunting for memories to dive into.

When he got Zitka. When his mother named him her Robin. When he went on patrol for the first time with the all mighty Batman. When he first met Jason. Then Tim. Then Damian. Then the nights they spent healing wounds, fighting together or just sleeping or Netflix.

Dick doesn't move, doesn't say a word. He doesn't even let out a humourless laugh or a quip. Dick clings onto a hope.

Batman. Come get me.

BOY WONDER IS STILL LIVING. WHY, THAT'S A JOY. COME OUT THERE LITTLE BLUE BIRD. YOU REALLY THINK YOU CAN STAY IN THAT LITTLE BRAIN OF YOURS? WHEN YOU WAKE UP. THAT LEG WILL HURT. YOUR BLOOD WILL SPILL AGAIN ON THAT DARNED LITTLE CREST.

He doesn't care. The glorious speech does not make him flinch. He looks at the window, one thought crosses his cloudy vision.

Bruce (Dad), come get me.

LET'S HAVE SOME MORE FUN, SHALL WE. EVEN JAYBIRD PLAYED THIS GAME TOO. COME ON, HE HAD FUN. LET'S PLAY BLUE BIRD. BLUE JAY. HMM. I LIKE THAT.

-

Playtime.

Its always target practice. He would lie there and watch Harley swing her mallet here and there, sometimes too close to Dick and she would talk to him, so sweetly.

Aww, you wanna play too? Let's play together, shall we?

His face will clench up, his head will scream and suddenly everything is loud as Harley fires guns at targets and maybe shoot some arrows at Dick.

On lucky days, he's used as her gymnast prop.

I want to fly again. Batman I'm falling, please I'd like to fly again. My wings are clipping and I will rip. -

He falls asleep.

You can't call it sleeping. Dozing in and out of consciousness, he was neither awake or sleeping. A grey haze flittered across his vision. No sign of clarity. He still heard the rattle of his breath, the fire in his leg. The now warm abdomen.

He feels someone at his leg.

Harley Quinn was there, a sly smile as he feels a needle go in and out.

In and out. In and out.

In and out, in and out. You need to breathe Dick. In and out. In and out.

When he hears the door shut and a ricocheting silence, he peeks at his leg.

A sick suturing of his leg stabs with dental floss, a handiwork Harley was sure to boast later on. He doesn't care if it gets infected. What's the big deal? Batman will take care of it.

He turns over on his side to his communicator lay. The Nightwing emblem was shattered beyond measure. No matter, I can get a new one. The communication mattered.

He presses the distress signal again, again. Again. Bruce better get that flashing orange light and he should feel his bipolar touch in no time.

He tries to talk, voice hoarse from decreased usage and a rough sandpaper-like quality stuck to it.

"H..hello? Bruce. Dad. Please get me. I'm.. I'm waiting. Please."

He turns back in his side, curled up like an invited animal.

The rain pours, shadows keep coming in and out but none belong to his dad.

The boy asks the moon if Batman had lost his way. Asked if the moon could shine the light brighter at him so Dad can find him faster. He'll be okay, he'll be okay. Bruce might be lost, after all. There's a lot of streets and time isn't on anyone's side.

-

Two weeks go by.

Dick still finds himself bound by the ties and definitely no sign of the caped crusader.

Batman is surely coming.

That thought fades slowly, over the weeks. He's gotten more used to the Joker and the crowbar.

Is this how Jason felt, when he was in Hell?

Dick cannot remember. Dick only knows how the sound of metal and bones work, how the bullet will hit skin, pierce it through with frightening velocity and dull ache afterwards. The pool of blood will remind him that yes, I was shot.

A sick game of Russian Roulette. Instead of one bullet, there's multiple. A .44 magnum shouldn't hurt anymore. The revolver keeps spinning in his mind where acrobats should be. Where's Bruce. Where's dad. Am I forgotten?

Dick tried to remember how to breathe. Is it that hard? Just pulling in oxygen and letting the respiration mechanism do its work?

Distract thine self.

He tries to remember. Tries. He's trying. Nightwing has to do this. You need to at least remember your name. Your mother, your father. Dick. Dick.

Richard. That's your name. Your mother was beautiful but I don't know what her hair colour is, sometimes it's blonde or chestnut and your father was handsome.  You are a Grayson. You have brothers and sisters. Are they Jason? Tim? Da- I don't remember, I don't remember the tiny one. Is he even real? Your sisters too. Stephanie, Stephanie. I have one more, the sneaky one. She's fast but I don't know her name. I'd like to know her well too. Pity I. I don't know her name. I hope she knows my name. That way I can hear her voice and maybe figure out who is the charming one. I know she does ballet. I know she made brownies once with.. Who? I don't remember his name. The old man with cheery wrinkles and deep eyes. I don't know who he is too. Oh. Oh oh. Dick.

[DANGEROUS TO FALL ASLEEP, RICHARD JOHN 'DICK' GRAYSON. EYES. OPEN. EYES. OPEN. BREATHE. (MY LUNGS DON'T WORK)]

I'm begging someone, please. It doesn't have to be Bruce. Get the ballet girl to help me please, she fast and maybe I can ask her name while she gets me out of here.

-

Bruce never gives up.

You know that too, do you? He's spent 3 weeks finding his son. His beloved child.

Do you ever think how much Bruce's heart breaks over and over everyday?

-

"ALFRED?! CAN YOU GET JASON NOW, NOW, NOW?! I FIGURED HIS COORDINATES."

Bruce flips from the Batcomputer and grabs everything. A blind haste, he's never dressed so fast. His son. Oh my god, his son.

Jason is down there getting the Batmobile to rev up and they speed.

They speed.

Are they fast?

I guess. If you call 290 in 85 fast.

They run, Jason dashing first and his breath catches in his throat. A cold draught erupts inside of him. He snarls, Bruce turns as he digs through the alleyways. He finds what he knows lurks.

"The sick fucker is going to end Dick in the same fucking warehouse he ended me in. That big bitch.

Bruce puts one hand on his shoulder and squeezes. No time to panic, Dick is the one. is the unsaid message as Jason crashes through the window.

And even him, Red Hood. The one who sees and commits murder everyday, stops and hot anger sears through him.

Dick lies, barely 15 feet away, bound up and covered in his own blood, the ripped Nightwing suit from his recon mission. Bruce picks him up while Jason gladly punched (and secretly plugged a bullet) the fuck out of Mistah J and Harley.

They lie on unconscious, Jason evaluates the scenes, trying to suppress his screams at what they've done to Grayson.

Bruce picks up Dick like he's glass, he hurries to the Batmobile with Jason telling to prepare the Medbay.

"The Medbay.. I.. I don't think. Leslie. Leslie can."

Is all Bruce says and Jason revs up, driving the Batmobile way beyond the legal limit. Bruce doesn't give a flying banana about it. He'll pay the fine later.

Bruce looks down at his son, hoping he hasn't fallen asleep yet. Finally, finally Dick is in the arms of the crusader. Half his domino mask is ripped and Bruce tries to not break at the baby blues staring without any light-hearted gaze.

His heart still beats (A reminder he's alive and could've been more alive. Bruce failed him)

"LESLIE. DR THOMPKINS!"

Jason screeches across and marching in, earning angry stares  from the other patients but it turns into gasps and horror when they see Batman carry a limp Nightwing barely clad in spandex anymore. Everyone bows out, knowing they were priority.

-

Something inside Dick broke.

He doesn't know what it is.

He'll live with it.

-

"Bruce, he's fallen into a coma."

Leslie says, solemn. Angry tears form in Jason's eye and he was about to fight Bruce, give him the tirade. Compare him to Nightwing.

The unspoken message rings loudly in Bruce's mind. He doesn't need Jason to say it.

You failed him too.

Jason is seething, anger. Sadness a d everything is violating him from inside.

If you were a minute later, he would've died. We would've been carrying his body to the grave. The Joker would still live. You see the problem? DO YOU NOT SEE THE FUCKING PROBLEM?

Bruce sits beside Dick, his pulse like a fluttering butterfly. He grasps his hand in Duck's fragile one and prays.

Prays that he wakes up.

-

Dick is on a life support machine now.

I guess the ventilator couldn't keep him up. All good boys do die. If not, maybe a part of them broke.

Dick is no exception.

-

Alfred squeezes Bruce's hand. Jason sits so quietly beside him alongside the rest of the family.

Its April 27th. Jason was taken this day.

They don't say a word, neither does Red Hood, he just wants the baby blue eyes to open again.

He cries.

-

Five months have gone by and he stirs slowly.

He's barely moving and Jason shoots up and looks, squeezes Dick's hand again.

Baby blues meet emerald green.

Jason dashes for Leslie. She comes and shoos everyone out.

Jason is fucking glad. Dick is alive.

-

Bruce is disappointed.

He cannot bring himself to meet Dick who's currently in the ward under observation. He's failed Dick. He knows it.

He enters, heavy hearted. Dick is smiling at everyone but Bruce can see it, the hard lines. The sunshine doesn't reach the baby blues. He thinks they've turned into aquamarine, a shade tad too dark. I guess, that's what trauma does to people.

Dick smiles at Bruce, he feels the tension and Dick pats the chair beside him where Jason was sleeping. Bruce softly sits, he has no heart to wake Jason up.

Dick is alive. Dick is alive.

Bruce places one hand on Grayson's one, it feels much more warmer and his pulse is beating normally.

And he breaks.

He cries, tears steaming down his cheeks. An ugly sound escapes his throat. Bruce gasps in air and exhales shakily. Dick watches, silent.

Is this how you felt when I was in Hell?

Dick doesn't touch Bruce, doesn't say its okay and I'm alive. He stares dead into Bruce.

I cannot forgive.

Dick sits quietly, he doesn't have to say it. Loyalty does kill you in the end if you step on all the wrong pieces of glass.

That's when you find yourself falling from the trapeze line, you find yourself swirling again in the memories you wish you could lock.

Loyalty in the end, is your demise.

#torture #dc comics #dick grayson #richard grayson #nightwing #red hood #jason todd #jason peter todd #joker #harley quinn #harleen quinzel #batman #bruce wayne #angst #dc angst #trauma #reblog #hoodedwing #doctor leslie #hurt/comf #angsty #slowburn #coma #sicktorture #bruce being a bad dad #crash and burn #noship #richard john grayson #literally Jason dies inside #silent treatment

[starcrossedyanderes]

Beauty and The Birds Part 9

Warning: This chapter contains former abuse from parents, religion (mostly cult-ish stuff), mentions of  ‘The Catholic Church’, and supposed witchcraft. A long with general harm of a person because of them being different. If any of this effects you I recommend possibly not reading this. If you are facing any of the above (except for maybe supposed witch craft) you can access this website for help https://www.thehotline.org/ this is the domestic violence hotline and are generally good for a lot of situations.

Disclaimer: I, as always, do not condone this behavior in any sense. A made up sort of cult-like religion is brought up that tries to hide itself as The Catholic Church. I have absolutely nothing against the catholic church as I am personally a protestant (but of course you know how us protestants feel) and I have nothing against what people believe in as long as no one gets hurt. This is based off of the sad incidents of exorcisms and how the are most commonly performed on regular children and how they quickly turn violent. Please, this is never acceptable. You should never be harmed by your religion or because of your religion.

~Previously on Beauty and The Birds~

“Isn’t that cannibalism?”

“Doggo!”

“Sheepies!”

“No. Other birds. I don’t think there’s another like me.”

~Back to Beauty and The Birds~

“It’s a uh.. long story that I haven’t shared with anyone. As you can tell I’m not exactly the best at communicating-“

He physically backed into himself with a blush on his cheeks and a hand rubbing his neck. You physically drooped as you started to walk away.

“Okay, I guess you don’t want to tell me-“

“NO!”

At seemingly the speed of light and a large ‘whoosh’ the bird man appeared right in front of you with his hands spread.

He had this deranged look on his face that seemed to become more and more common as the days passed.

He stepped closer to you with a shaky crazed smile on his face.

“No, no! I’ll tell you! I would tell you anything.”

He placed his hands on your shoulders to pull you in closer as his smile only widened.

“I would do anything for you. You just have to ask and I would tell you whatever you could possibly want to know. As long as you stay so couldn’t care less. It’s all worth it.”

Hm, he seems to show a lot of territorial behavior and desperation. Could this be part of a courtship sort of thing. He seems to be quite attached for only knowing you for what? 2 days? You’ll have to look into that later.

His smile and piercing gaze finally softened as he seemed to return to his normal self.

“I will admit this is a rough topic for me so I would rather if we could instead talk in the nest.”

You eagerly nodded your head as you gripped your discreet recording device as you were flown up to the top floor’s glass observatory.

It seems the nest acts as a comfort sort of place for him. Somewhat how some animals do during heats and pregnancy’s. From what you can tell he isn’t in a heat (although it could explain some things) and he certainly isn’t pregnant so it is quite odd behavior for a bird to exhibit.

~|~

You were currently perched inside the nest as you awaited on Avery’s return. He, to your annoyance, insisted on getting a few snacks

You irritably clutched on a corviknight plushie you found in the nest before it was quickly abandoned on Avery’s return. 

In his hands he carried various junk foods but there was an odd one that stood out from the rest.

Tater tots.

After putting down the foods on a little side table he quickly joined you in the Blanket Void TM and quickly into you. His wings wrapped around and whilst spreading sent a turtle duck plushie off of the bed. He quickly let out some gentle cooing as he nuzzled deeply into your neck.

“I’m ready to answer your questions now.”

“Alright, how about an easier question to start off. What’s with the tater tots?”

Of course this question was just a ruse to make sure your device was recording and genuine curiosity.

Avery’s head pulled away from your neck and a frown pulled at his lips. He then proceeded in what you like to call his ‘bby voice’

“Is there something wrong with them? They’re my favorite.”

That-that was not the answer you were expecting. Huh, that’s odd.

“Oh, nothing. Just genuine curiosity.”

Avery immediately relaxed back into your arms after popping a tater tot into his mouth. 

“Now, you say you don’t think there’s anyone else like you. Is it because you believe to be the last of your species?”

He stiffened up once again before digging himself more into you.

“Well no, I think. I don’t believe I am part of a species. This may take a while to explain and please bare with me. This is a rough topic that I haven’t really been able to share with anyone.”

You eagerly nodded your head and made sure to give him some headpats which only induced some coos to leave his throat.

“Well my family were rather wealthy and owned an airplane company and I think we did general logistics stuff. We were also rather catholic although now I think we don’t quite fit that term. At least hope not for the sake of people who are actually catholic.

My mother was the heiress and received a lot of suitors. She was supposedly cursed by one of her suitor’s mother after turning him down. We think this may have led to me.. being me.”

You felt rather disheartened but also even more intrigued by this information. So he doesn’t seem to be part of a species, but an odd mutation? (You highly doubted this is from some curse.)

“So where exactly is your family now”

After speaking you popped a tator tot into your mouth.

“I think about 5 years ago my parents, ironically enough, died in a plane crash. I was pretty much only allowed on the estate, the woods, and the church after my wings developed so I wasn’t allowed with them. That was probably a mistake on their parts.”

You waved your arms a bit.

“Hold up, you siad you weren’t allowed anywhere after your wings developed. Does that mean you weren’t born with them.”

Avery let out a reflexive chuckle.

“Ha ha, well I technically was born with them. I was a healthy baby but I had these bumps on my back. Of course everyone was concerned about these being tumors so I was tested frequently. Turns out they were merely bone and somewhat.. hollow. As I grew the bumps started grow into my wings today. The bone thing is also why I take a good bit of calcium since they’re so fragile.”

“But why weren’t you let anywhere after they developed?”

Avery let out a sigh as he mentally prepared himself.

“After the doctors kinda figured out I was somehow growing wings paired with my purple eyes my parents were very excited for me to be an angel like thing. Yeah, I don’t know their understanding either. Maybe consider me as a miracle of the lord of something? Either way they were rather hopeful of this and treated me like a regular son with giving me an education to run the business. But then I got my feathers. Their dreams of an angel were crushed upon seeing that were not pure white but instead a dark black. They became horrified and I was forced to spend a lot of time at the church and was forced to have exorcism after exorcism performed on me. It.. wasn’t pleasant to say the least. My parents quickly hated me and locked me away. But they still needed an heir and they feared to have another child so I was still given an education as I sometimes needed to appear to confirm that they were nice enough to keep me alive.”

You felt some water cascade down your neck as you could place your arms around him in a hug.

“A-Avery that’s awful. I-I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

Avery gained a small smile as he pulled away from you hug with tears still gliding down his face.

“Y-You’re the first person to every say sorry to me.”

“Oh, Avery. No one should be deprived of that.”

You forced a small grin on your face to try and cheer him up.

“Ok, no more hardcore questions. Stuff that shouldn’t make you cry now. Sorry to open those wounds like that.”

“No, no. It’s fine. I said I would tell you anything. And I’m honestly over joyed to share anything with you.”

How can someone say something so creepy yet sat at the same time? “Alright then, if you’re sure you want to continue. You’re able to communicate with birds from what I can tell. Do they see you as they’re leader or something?”

“Since I was only really allowed in the woods birds quickly became my only friends and company. Also I’ve done a lot of rehabilitation work that a lot seem to feel indebted to me. A lot of birds tend to follow the bigger bird naturally and they see me as a really big bird so they just kinda.. naturally do what I tell them. It also helps that I feed them too.”

“Makes sense, I guess. Like when I saw this heron in a pond one time and a bunch of ducks just followed him around. Last question for the day, alright?”

Avery nodded his head as he pulled you closer.

“I brought like 3 scarves here but I can’t find any of them. I have a slight feeling you may know where they are.”

Of course you couldn’t see it but a dark blush covered Avery’s face.

“W-well two of them are in the nest. I’m afraid that some of the birds got their hands on the other one somehow and are currently using it to snuggle. I’m working on getting them another scarf so you can get yours back.”

Huh, so he puts many different things in his nest. Also now you had to deal with the conflict of you taking a scarf from some cozy, snuggling birds.

“The birds can keep my scarf. I couldn’t just take it from them like that.”

Avery smiled against your neck and cooed.

“I’m sure they’ll be estatic for their cuddling not to be ruined. Now enough questions, more cuddles and movies.”

#yandere #starcrossedyanderes #romance #original character #yandere romance #yandere male #yandere oc #beauty and the birds #avery #birb

[imgoingtohellsofuckit]

When They Had To Say Goodbye

Jasper Hale x Human!Reader

Warning - mentions of death, angst

Summary - the choice is yours live the last of your days with your family or be turned and spend your eternity with him 

Having a human lover was something Jasper never expected. However when he met them he knew they were the only one for him. Pink lips and soft skin. Hair that shaped their perfect face. Absolutely amazing in his opinion. They met in college in a art class. He had been forced into the class by Alice who wouldn't explain why. When he saw them he finally understood. His soulmate. The soft way they spoke and the passion in their eyes. Jasper couldn't help but indulge his once human emotions. His heart racing for the individual in front of him. He knew this would be his downfall.

When they finally introduced themselves to him Jasper couldn't help but notice their bright eyes. His eyes were drawn to the breathtaking color. And when they smiled he felt Cupid's arrow sink into his very soul.

"I'm Y/n," They say offering their hand to him. He smiles at the beauty in front of him. Stunning. Their soft voice was enough to make Jasper melt right there. "You are?"

"Jasper Hale," He says smiling at them.

"Well Jasper Hale I don't suppose a handsome fellow like yourself would want to join me for lunch?" They offer. They are so bold. Jasper was taken back. Someone so perfect for him.

"I would love to," he says offering his hand. They take it smiling at him. That damn smile. Jasper couldn't get it out of his mind.

One date turned into another and then another. Until it finally started getting serious. Unlike Edward and Bella, Jasper was in no rush to bring them into the mess with the Cullens. Instead he used their time together as an escape from the bloodsucking nightmare. Carlisle made him tell his partner after 6 months. Jasper, reluctant to bright someone so perfect into this disaster, prepared for everything to end. How could someone so perfect want to be with him? A life with no future?

"I don't want you to laugh," Jasper starts, "just listen to me please. Okay?"

"Okay?" They reply tensely.

"I'm a vampire."

They chuckle lightly. But upon seeing Jasper's stern expression they realize there wasn't a single joke in the statement.

"Suddenly you never eating makes sense," They reply, "you're the first boyfriend I've had that hasn't cleared my fridge."

"You aren't mad?" Jasper asks.

"I'm surprised but I love you Jasper," They tell him, "a couple pointy teeth and lack of a pulse won't stop that. You're my soulmate." Jasper smiles releasing a breath he hadn't realized he was holding. Those are the best words. He didn't expect those. He surely thought they would want to end this. "You okay?"

"So much more now," Jasper says as he moves to their said tackling them in soft kisses. Showing his appreciation in each one. He loves them so much. More than he'd ever be able to show.

They met the other Cullens. Bonding with them. Alice was their favourite by a long shot but they found comfort in Bella's attempts to help them adjust. They loved the family and blended well. After they first met Rose had instructed Jasper to propose before he let the only good one go.

"I mean it Jasper of all the people you've chased they are the only one that is worth it!" Rose exclaims, "if you let them go I'll kill you."

"Trust me i have no such intentions," Jasper says as he shows his family the ring. Alice squeals excitedly as the rest show their varying excitement.

"The oldest one finally settling down?" Emmet says clapping his hand against Jaspers back. "I'm proud of you dude."

"Took you long enough," Bella teases lightly.

"Not everyone fast tracks their entire relationship the way you guys did," Rose says giving Bella a slight glare.

"Can I be a braidsmaid!" Renseime asks him. Jasper chuckles.

"Well I have to ask first," Jasper says, "I've got it all planned out. But I'm gonna need you all to keep it a secret."

And they did. So when Jasper and his partner flew out to his loves hometown Y/n didn't suspect a thing.

It wasn't until Jasper move to kneel before them that they even realized what was happening.

"Jasper," They exclaim as they move their hand to cover their mouth. "Oh my god."

"We've only known each other for a short amount of time but I know that you are my soulmate," Jasper says as he grips their hand, "you are an amazing person. Breath taking, ridiculously sweet. Everything about you is just so perfect. You complete me Y/n. In all my years and I've had a lot. I've never met someone who makes me feel the way you make me feel. All the love and the joy you bring me. I want to spend the rest of my eternity with you. So will you marry me?"

"Yes god of course I'll marry you!"

They where amazing. Jasper knew that.

The wedding was sweet and simple. A forest wedding with all the cullens and their friends blending with Y/n's family. A blend of vampires, werewolves, and a humans. Supernatural would be jealous at this gathering. Jasper and Y/n shared loving vows. Their families couldn't be more happy for them.

The honey moon was over too fast and when they rejoined normal life everyone had one question. When was Jasper going to turn them?

Jasper and his spouse had never actually talked about it. They didn't want to. Jasper didn't really want to change them he knew the horrors they would have to go through and if he could avoid it he wanted to. But he also didn't want to live without them. Y/n on the other hand simply wasn't worried about it just yet. They had things they wanted to do first. They wanted a family and to go tan on faraway beaches. They wanted to taste food around the world first. When Jasper finally reached out to ask when or if  they would want to be turned Y/n have a list to Jasper. A list of everything she wanted to do first. Some where small things like eat the entire menu of their favorite restaurant, others were things like sky dive.

"You made a bucket list to go into your eternal life?" He asks them. Y/n nods their head.

"Yeah," They reply, "I mean technically I'm dying. And everything I want to do I won't be able to once you turn me. Unlike the rest of you I get to pick when I'm turned. So after this list is done I'll turn."

"It'll take years," Jasper replies, "It's perfect." They give him a smile.

To kick off the list Y/n quit their job. They hated the job. Like really hated their job. So they left in dramatic fashion. Crossing off item number one. Next they went to their favorite restaurant. Bella and Edward tagged along. Y/n sat and ate the entire menu. Or at least tried it all. They didn't regret a thing even after throwing it all up moments after getting in the car.

Next they went to Italy and tried hundreds of dishes. They tanned on the beach with their human best friend while Jasper stayed at the hotel room. They competed in sports and spent way too much time and money on changing their hair and getting piercing and tattoos.

The list was almost done the night everything changed.

Jasper had noticed his partner losing weight. He didn't understand why but his family assured him it was only natural. And his partner was still smiling. His worry died as fast as it started. But then more started happening. Soon it wasn't just the losing weight but they were getting sick more often. But this newest thing had raised every red flag.

"Jasper," They call from the couch. As he moves he sees them sitting in pure agony blood gushing from their nose. Jasper starts to move towards them but the sweep of hunger over him causes him to stay back. "Jas?"

"I'm sorry," He says softly, "I'll call Carlisle." They nod as they whip away the blood. Too weak to move from the floor where they fell in the first place. Jasper kept his distance while they waited for the older vampire. Trying to comfort his spouse from the kitchen. He could tell they were upset. They were suffering and it was killing Jasper not to be able to help. But the blood. The damn blood.

"We need to get them to the hospital," Carlisle says as he looks over the shrunken figure. "Now." Carlisle hands a rag to them and they wipe away the blood. The nature to protect his soul mate overrules the bloodlust. Jasper rushes towards his mate taking them and helping them into the car. At the hospital they automatically get her a room. Jaspers left in the waiting room with Esme and Alice who had come to help him. Both watching him carefully.

"I just- I can't believe I did that," Jasper says softly, "I left them there to sit alone because I was hungry."

"It's for the beat," Alice says softly, "if you bite them-"

"I'd never do that," Jasper says in soft terror, "Not like that. Not to hurt them."

"Shhhh we know that," Esme says softly, "we know that."

"Mr. Hale?" The doctor calls. Beside them Carlisle stands looking slightly guilty. Jasper stands moving towards him.

"How are they?" Jasper asks at once, "are they okay?"

The doctor looks to Carlisle.

"I won't lie," The doctor says softly, "their condition is a lot worse than we first thought."

"Can I see them?" Jasper asks at once. The doctors exchange a look then nod. Carlisle leads Jasper back to the room. The first thing the blonde sees is Y/n connected to machines. "Y/n oh my god-" Tears well in his eyes. He moves to their side.

"Leukemia," Carlisle says softly, "it's bad and has spread throughout her body- Jasper I need you to listen to me carefully. The doctor that has been taking care of her is a friend of mine. He's like us- he offered to turn her. I'm leaving it up to you. But with how bad her condition is if she isn't turned she'll die." Jaspers golden eyes widen in the shock. The couple have been avoiding this day and as if a cruel joke by fate what they expected to face years in the future is here now.

"This is their decision," Jasper says softly. His body fighting the venom filled tears. "I can't make it for them."

"Jasper they'll die-"

"It's not my decision," Jasper says more sternly this time, "we have to wait for them to make it."

"Are you prepared for if they say no?" Carlisle asks. His voice his quiet. Jasper doesn't reply. His body tenses in reaction. Truly he isn't prepared for either decision.

"I have to be," Jasper says finally, "if they would rather have their remaining time then I'll be there for them."

"It's gonna be hard Jas," Carlisle says softly.

"Well that's what I signed up for," Jasper says with a sigh, "when will they wake up?"

"Soon," Carlisle says looking to Y/n. "I'll send Alice in. She's better at the support then me." Jasper isn't listening. Instead he's letting the pain and fear from his partners body seep into his. How did he not notice this before? Was he so distracted by the soft smiles that he wasn't paying attention? God how could he let his partner suffer like this.

"Jas?" A tired voice croaks out. He snaps from his thoughts to the worn figure. Y/n. He moves to their side at once.

"Y/n," He says softly, "darlin."

"God that accent is hot," They say giving him an exhausted smirk. Jasper chuckles sadly. "It's bad huh?"

"Leukemia advance stages," Jasper replies softly, "Carlisle says they give you a couple weeks. They caught it way too late."

"Man nature really wants to punish us for the whole vampire human shit," They say softly, "so I'm gonna die Huh?"

"There are options," Jasper starts, "treatment might work but it's a small chance and it will make you feel worse, and well-" Jasper doesn't even want to say it.

"I could be turned?" They ask softly. Their voice barely a whisper.

"Carlisle or the doctor could do it," Jasper admits, "Carlisle is a good friend of the doctor. That's why he brought you here. You won't be able to finish your list but you'll live." Jasper can't bring himself to look at his partner. "But It'll be unpleasant. It hurts like a bitch. You'll have to go without saying goodbye to your friends and family." Tears well in Y/n's eyes. They always thought that they have a better chance to say goodbye to her family. But she can't leave Jasper. It's selfish but damn they went through a shitty life and finally found one thing that made them happy yet the universe wouldn't leave them alone. How's that fair? "It's up to you."

"Why can't you turn me?" The moment the question leaves their mouth they want to take it back. It's a stupid question.

"I can't stop myself," Jasper says softly, "I'd end up killing you." They bite their lip.

"Will you stay with me when they do it?" They asks softly, "please Jas I'm scared."

That destroyed Jasper. Those words made him feel like losing it right there.

"I'll be right here," Jasper says giving them a soft smile.

"Then I want to be turned," they say softly, "just- let me call my mom first." He nods. They dial the number. Explaining a story about a car accident how they didn't have much time left. Sobs left their body. Jasper felt so much guilt in house body. If only he noticed it faster. He'd be able to give them more time with their family. With their friends. Jasper stepped out and told Carlisle.

"I'll do it," Carlisle says softly, "if she's afraid then it'll make her more comfortable to see someone she trusts."

"Fine," Jasper says softly, "she wants me there."

"Are you going to be able to handle that?" Carlisle asks.

"I have to," Jasper says softly, "I'm having her turn herself into a vampire against all her better judgement. She has to leave everything behind the least I can do is be there for her."

"I understand."

As Jasper returns to her room she has her knees buried in her chest. Sobs escaping her body. She's terrified and devastated. Her emotions practically suffocating him. How could one person feel so much? How could they handle this?

"You don't have to If you don't want to," Jasper says as he takes their hand, "you don't have to be turned."

"I want to spend eternity with you," they reply as they wipe their eyes, "I just didn't think it would be this hard to let go." He moves pulling them into a soft kiss. Tears streaming along his lovers face now smearing along his cheeks.

God how did Edward do this? Or think he could rather. Every single part of this makes Jasper want to rip his head off his shoulders. It hurts so bad. Their emotions, Jaspers own. God he just wants to scream enough for both of them. As he pulls away Y/n smiles at him. It's weak. Conflicted. But purely them.

"I'm ready," They say softly.

"Okay," Jasper says softly. He grips their hand tightly. Carlisle enters the room giving the pair a soft smile.

"Are you sure about this?" Carlisle asks the human. They nod. Jasper looks away as Carlisle moves to bite his spouse. Loud painful scream leaves their body. He feels the pure agony seep into his soul. He wants to puke. Not that anything would even come up. Carlisle pulls away and wipes his mouth. Then quickly addresses their wound. wrapping tight bandages. Jasper feels their grip loosen until it completely disappears. He starts to panic but Carlisle holds him back.

"Give them some time. The venom takes a minute," Carlisle assures him, "in the mean time you need to get some things for them to eat. You better prepare to deal with a newborn."

"I know how to handle them better than anyone else," Jasper says looking to the other man. "Trust me."

Jasper wasn't prepared for it to take three days. Three days for his partner to heal. To fully change.

Carlisle brought them home. And when Jaspers eyes set one them. A smile spread across his face. His mate. His other half. Alive and well - or well neither of those. They aren't gone. But they still are dead. He forgets about that part. Guilt hits him. They move placing a hand on Jaspers cheek. Suddenly his negative emotions are washed away. He's happy?

"You Can influence emotions?" He asks. They nod. He smirks at them. Slightly proud of the power. "I love you. I'm sorry this all happened so fast."

"Life is hard and unpredictable," They reply, "we knew we'd have to face this one day. And at the end I'm glad I still get to be with you." He smiles then moves connecting his lips to theirs.

He wouldn't let them go. He'd hold onto them for forever.

#jasper hale #jasper hale x reader #jasper cullen #jasper Cullen x reader #jasper whitlock #jasper whitlock x reader #twilight x reader #yes a twilight x reader in 2020 and no I have not a lick of shame #twilight #x reader

[scoooby]

The Reason to Live (is to Die For This)

Read on AO3

Continue to read on Tumblr 

Beta: @tenderlyannoyinglight

Word count: 6.3k

Trigger warning: descriptions of pain, death and violence.

Relationship: Merlin/Arthur *if you don't like merthur it can be taken as gen if you skip the last hundred words

Summary:

"I don't want to leave him. He thinks. I can't.

It shouldn't be the first thing he thinks of. He should be thinking of his mother, Gaius, Gwen. He should be thinking of how Kilgharrah had said he was an immortal, but Kilgharrah is also a big lying liar who lies, so he shouldn't have believed him. But he doesn't think of any of those things, after ten years of sacrificing, his brain is wired to think of Arthur, only of him."

In which Merlin is stabbed instead of Arthur. Oops.

Merlin doesn't know where the blood came from, flowing down and not stopping. There's so much of it staining the ground and his clothes, forming a puddle, he feels dizzy and nauseous looking at it. It's been almost ten years, but the sight of injury still repulses him. It scares him even more because he can't find its source. No, it terrifies him. Whose blood is it? Where is he, exactly? But he tries not to dwell on it and wonders where Arthur is. Wasn't he just here? Silly Arthur, always disappearing.

He giggles, then sobers up. He has more important things to worry about. Like the blood. Blood is so red. Like strawberries. He wishes he could make strawberries right now, Freya likes them. Speaking of which, he should probably talk to her soon.

He touches his hand to his abdomen, startled when he feels something wet and sticky. Oh.

Oh.

It's his blood. He's been maimed. He's the one dying.

I don't want to leave him. He thinks. I can't .

It shouldn't be the first thing he thinks of, and he should be thinking of his mother, Gaius, Gwen. He should be thinking of how Kilgharrah had said he was an immortal, but Kilgharrah is also a big lying liar who lies, so he shouldn't have believed him.  But he doesn't think of any of those things, after ten years of sacrificing, his brain is wired to think of Arthur, only of him.

It shouldn’t be. He should be more carefree and alive and happy, like he is now. And he’s so happy.

He distantly hears a thud behind him, as if something heavy, clad in metal, had fallen.  Swords are made of metal. So is armour. Stupid armour. It takes so fucking long to put armour on Arthur.

He feels hysteria rise up in his throat, he feels like laughing, He doesn’t know why. He’s been stabbed, he should care more. But those thoughts don’t even hit him. He wants to run, to jump. He could fly, like Kilgharrah. Or Aithusa. Can Aithusa fly? He would have to ask Morgana.

But Morgana doesn’t like him.

Maybe Balinor would know when dragons start to fly. He knows a lot, right?

Oh, but he can’t. Balinor is dead. Balinor is extremely dead and rotting. Hunith would be sad if she found out, he doesn’t want her to be sad. She deserves the world. He won’t tell her.

“Don’t worry,” he coos, even though there’s no one there. “I won’t tell.”

He tries to get up, but his knees are weak. He doesn't know why his ears have started to ring. Hhhhh. Hhh. That’s all he hears. It sounds weird. Weird. Weirdweirdweirdweirdweird. What a word, All words should be like it.

Everything is just a blob of grey and black. All he sees is a spinning world and green spots in the corner of his vision. He doesn’t mind, he likes green. He tries to say something, to scream maybe, yet all that comes out is a small, meagre groan.

He feels his eyes closing- And that's it. That's all there is-numbness, and then nothing.

Arthur is not ashamed to admit that he killed Mordred. The knight almost killed Merlin and dared to smile after doing so. Arthur couldn't just let him get away with it, no matter how much it pained him. Guilt doesn’t even come to mind. Mordred isn’t worth it - he tells himself as he walks, knees shaking, towards his manservant's body laying still on the ground.

He's bleeding at an alarming rate. His eyes are closed; his face deathly pale. Arthur doesn't bother with modesty as he rips the stupid brown jacket off (one would think he would come into battle wearing proper armor, at least). He had imagined doing it many times before, in entirely different circumstances, maybe with a bed underneath them.

Merlin torso is littered with scars as wood is with lines. Most of them are healed, so that only white lines are painting Merlin’s pale skin, while others are red, but still no cause for intervention. An enormous hole inflicted near his lungs, however does. Arthur’s not new to blood or injuries, but looking at this one does make him wanna vomit.

He stops, unsure of what to do. His hands hover over the body. What can he do, dammit? He knows first aid, Gaius taught him some when he was little. Nothing has ever come  close or as grave as to this. He has been taught to call for the help of nurses, never to do it himself. He has to stop the bleeding, but how ? He's supposed to tie something around it; he remembers that much at least. He looks towards Merlin's face, exhausted and un-moving, a red cloth loosely tied around his neck. All he has to do to stop the blood temporarily, until he delivers Merlin to safe, more medically trained hands, is to tie the stupid red neckerchief around and hope for it to be the right thing.

He prays as he puts it around the gash. He's not entirely sure who he's praying to. It’s an unconscious reflex to beg for health. To be able to say it is someone else's fault, because he knows it's his. He should never have let Merlin come in front of him; let the sword pierce him. Damn him; damn Merlin; damn Mordred; damn the War; damn Morgana; damn everything.

It sickens him, all of it. This cave, this life. The air is dirty. The metallic smell of blood engulfing everything and making it its own. Throwing up would sound like a good idea if Arthur didn’t have more pressing matter at hand.

The air also smells of disappointment. What is he even doing? He's just two years into his reign, the army is practically gone. So many knights are dying in his name, right now,  with their belief in him. And now Merlin is going to die too.

No. Merlin can't die, I won't allow it. His resolve hardens as he picks him up in his arms, Merlin’s head on his shoulder, back bent so gravity can keep the blood inside. and carries him through the mass of dead bodies. Arthur places him on the horse and climbs on behind him, arms on the reins and still supporting Merlin’s head.

It's a long ride home. You have to make it. For him. Is the only thought he clings to.

The aftermath of the war lingers everywhere. Bodies within quarter of a mile of another, their sunken eyes staring at them as the ride past.

No one stops them, too busy focusing on their own injured. Arthur's head is down to not see them. They probably hate him. With all of his being, he agrees.

Morgana, from an early age, showed to be better fitted for the crown. Might have even made Camelot a better place, once upon a time, in a time long gone.

Now they're both just as terrible and ill-fitted for his home.

He tries not to think of her, it’s too painful. So, he focuses on saving Merlin again. Merlin. His best friend, who he had always hoped would become something more. His rock, the only one he could trust. Something he has proved over and over again, but something he had realised only during his father's funeral.

Uther’s death is a recent memory. Arthur had cried until there were no tears left to shed over anyone else after. Not out of love or grievance. His father’s love for him was long gone before he himself was. But because the moment Uther’s life ended, Arthur’s reign began and the feeling of no support or companionship with it. Morgana was gone. Ygraine had never been there to begin with, and the overwhelming responsibility hit him- hard . He had felt so alone. There was no one there for him. No one cared.

Then Merlin had placed a hand on his shoulder, whispered to him, told him he was going to be a great king and that he was sorry. As if Merlin was at fault. As if he wasn't the only reason Arthur was still standing.

It made him see more clearly that he might not ruin the kingdom- his kingdom. A spark of heat, mixed with joy and sorrow ignited like wildfire spread all over his chest, then back, arms and legs followed soon, and finally his face; he returned Merlin’s sentiment with a warm smile.

Maybe that's when he had fallen in love, or when he had realized that Merlin was the only one he could trust. He's still not sure which one it was, maybe the love had come slowly, or maybe, and just the seed had been planted back then, or maybe it had come fact and crashing.

And now he was going to be gone too. Arthur sighs, his eyes drooping from a week of no sleep. Everyone leaves. They always leave. Maybe he still had some tears left.

The dark is disorienting. Is he sleeping? Is he even alive? He has to be, he has to make sure Arthur gets back home.

"Emrys," he hears someone say. No, not someone- Morgana. Her voice is unmistakable, ragged and sickly sweet at the same time. She had always been like that, even before, a dizzying array of opposites.

"Witch," he whispers. "Why have you brought me here?"

The smugness in her voice is apparent, "That's very hypocritical of you, isn't it? After all, you're magical too. More than me, even." She didn't answer his question. "All alone now, aren’t you? No one to save you." He shakes his head; how did he manage to get here? The last thing he was doing was shouting at Arthur to bring him along ("I always thought you were the bravest man I knew." “That’s not fair.") Arthur's face had been so disappointed, and it had broken Merlin's heart. But if the war was still going on, then no one would be coming for him. He will have to get out of this by himself.

"What. Do. You. Want." He grits out, he doesn't have the patience, nor the time for this, he has to help them. The knights are strong, but even the strongest of human kind wouln’t last long against an immortal army. He has to be there with them, to help them, to keep them alive. No matter how much his words hurt, Merlin will still save them, because that is what he does.

She laughs. " You."

"I don't have time for games, leave me be."- turning his head around trying to locate Morgana’s voice; the darkness, the nothingness, hasn’t changed.

"Oh, but why would I do that?" Her cold hands are taking hold of his chin, nails digging into his face. She's right in front of him. Her silky dress pooling onto his feet, the edges of her dirty hair grazing his arms. "I have you right where I want you, no one is going to come to save you. I only need one thing from you." She pauses, her fingers snap; there are fires surrounding them in a circle. He struggles against the bonds of rope he didn't realize were tied onto him, but it's of no use.

She’s clearer now, seen better days too. Bags under her crazed eyes, a ragged and torn black gown, a cloak is gracing her hunched back. Frankly, it looks like she hasn’t taken a bath in months. She doesn’t even resemble the Morgana he used to know, the compassionate and cunning one.

This is his creation; he is the reason she is like this. He never should have listened to the fucking dragon, he should have told her about his magic, maybe things would be different then.

"I won't do anything for you,” he hisses. “I would rather die.”

“Oh, you will.” She says it like it’s a fact as if it’s inevitable that he will die soon, and a tremor goes from his head to his toes in a matter of a second. He’s supposed to be immortal, supposed to live for a long, long time. He’s not scared of dying, he supposes. He’s scared of what will happen afterwards. “And it will hurt, I can tell you that, it will hurt so much.” She inches even closer, impossibly so. “But that won’t be the worst part, no. The worst part will be that no one will care . Arthur won’t care. No matter what you have done for him, he won’t even notice you’re gone.”

He’s silent as her words sink in. Sow themselves into his brain, into his heart, tries to convince himself it’s not true.

“Arthur won’t rescue you. You need his help, but he doesn’t have your back. He’s not even looking for you. If you’re drowning, if you’re about to crack, will he even care?” Something on his face makes her look smug like she’s already won. “Face it, Merlin.” That’s the first time she’s called him Merlin and not Emrys since she found out. “You don’t matter to him. He thinks you’re disposable, But I know better.”

Merlin looks up at her. "You're sick," he spits, although it sounds small, unsure. "He would look for me. I know he would." The statement is more for himself than her.

She gives a small, cruel smile as if to convey to him how pathetic he is. “All I need you to do,” she continues, “is to tell me where you are once this ends.”

He's about to ask her what she means, when the fires go out and it all turns dark again.

He stops in the forest, to rest, though he's not sure if Merlin will even survive by the end of it. He lays him down against a rock and lights a fire. He has to make something to feed them, or they'll die of starvation before Morgana's knights get to them. He surveys the clearing they're in, and he's about to walk towards what he is almost sure is an edible plant (emphasis on the almost, kings don't always learn about herbs), when he hears Merlin whispers. He snaps back, his eyes are open, a once tantalizing clear blue now murky and grey.

"Arthur" he murmurs. "Art- I-"

He holds up a hand "I'm here Merlin," he says. "I'm here but don't speak, you need to preserve your energy."

He doesn't listen. "I-I need to tell you something and," he gasps, trying to breathe, "and I need you to listen without interrupting."

Arthur wants to tell him whatever he needs to say probably isn't as important as his life, but the look on his face tells him that it might be.

Merlin shudders, clearly exhausted. "I ha-have magic," he rasps. Arthur's mind goes blank. It's a joke, it has to be. Merlin can't have betrayed him too. He takes a step toward him, to reach out maybe, but thinks better of it.

"Stop being silly," he commands, but it comes out shaky.

Merlin eyes seem wet. When he opens his mouth to speak, all that comes out is a bare whisper, "I ne-needed to tell you. In, in case, I-I, uh, die."

"You can't die." He clasps Merlin shoulder this time, leaning down. "But stop delusioning yourself Merlin. You don't have magic, I would know." It's not real, he would've been able to tell. This can't be true, it can't.

"And I use it for you," he continues, seeing his expression. "Only-only for you."

"Shut up," Arthur whispers. Merlin flinches back. "Shut up, shut up, shut up."

"I-," he starts, but he cuts him off.

"Do not speak to me."

Arthur looks at him, something rising in his throat. He thought it would be bile, but it's laughter. Of course, of course, the only person he trusts has magic.

He stands up and walks away, until he's sure Merlin won't be able to see him.

Merlin’s heart sinks as he stares at Arthur’s back, she was right. He told him about his magic, and now he was leaving him to die in a forest, never mind the reason he was dying was that he had taken a sword for Arthur. Never mind that he had spent a decade protecting him, trying to stop hundreds of people from killing someone he himself hadn’t particularly cared for at the beginning. Never mind the fact that he had sacrificed so much, just so he could be comfortable living in a castle built on the sins of his father and the corpses of magic users. Ten years, all down the drain. Merlin wants to laugh, of course, it comes done to this. To Arthur abandoning him because he told him something he didn’t want to hear. Fuck him, fuck the pendragons. Couldn’t let him die in peace.

He stews in it for a while, too tired to cry. Too sick of everything to even care anymore. He won’t tell her though; couldn’t let it all go to waste. She’ll find out anyway, he knows, she has her sources.

Yet, he has more important things to focus on, Arthur will either come back, or he won’t. But his wound stays. The giddiness is gone, replaced with something else. Something warm, like a fire in his stomach.

He presses down on his abdomen.  as he sighs sharply through his nose, it helps with the increasing pain, stabbing his bone and overtaking his senses.

His lungs struggle to breathe, it feels as if they’re filling with water as he drowns; his whole body burns as his back arches and writhes. It’s like there’s thousands of needles being pushed into him from everywhere, as if the needles had been pulled out from a fire before being inserted into him- red hot and painful, so painful. He wants to stand up, to run and jump into a lake, but his legs feel like jelly, he can’t move. It hurts so much. He hears distant echoes of screams; they’re probably coming from him.  And just like that, it starts to ebb. The needles being pulled out hurts more, but the small burns they leave behind are definitely better than it was before. He slumps down against a tree, numb.

He feels his eyes droop. His pain is still shooting through his body, but at least he has some time before he has to feel it again.

He wakes up again in some time, not sure when. It doesn't hurt as much as it did before. He’s just tired. He lays there for what feels like hours, but the sun hasn’t even set, so it was probably a few minutes.

To his immense surprise, he comes back. Arthur… comes back.

"Come back to finish the job, huh?" Merlin snarls, refusing to believe that maybe he came back to help him because he cared for him. It's too good to be true. Arthur is compassionate and he is kind, but not to magic users. "One stab wound wasn't enough for you?"

Arthur's already been saved from the imminent death of his which has been prophesied for a few centuries already, Merlin no longer has to worry, and he doesn't want to either. If this is his reward, to be called a coward, to be ignored and hut out, what everything had been leading up to, he might as well have died years ago. He used to wake up with only Arthur in mind, He loved him, still does. He’s not going to go out any other way.

He was the reason he lived, and he is the reason Merlin is going to die.

Arthur recoils in shock, his mouth is hanging open a little.

Good , Merlin thinks, he needs a wake-up call.

"What?" He asks.

Merlin hopes his expression can convey his feelings and how unamused he is because his throat is clogged up and he's too exhausted to say a word more. He may be a warlock, but it doesn’t change the fact that he is in unbearable pain.

Arthur looks at him as if he's grown a second head. "You- you thought I was going to kill you?"

There's no reply. Arthur comes forward, stops when he sees how scared the other man becomes. He sits down onto the cold, hard ground. "Merlin," he says softly, "I, I'm angry at you, I'm not going to lie, but I would never, never kill you. I- how could you even-" he trails off, he kicks some dirt glumly. "Just, we’ll talk about this when we're back home, okay? When you're better."

Arthur doesn't know how Merlin could think that. He would never- he didn’t even imagine doing anything other than demoting him, at most. He feels betrayed, and he feels let down. But this is Merlin. If he practiced magic, there must have been a good reason.

Fuck. Has he been that bad of a friend? Has he been so distant that Merlin thought Arthur was going to kill him? He knows he should be angrier, and just a few hours ago, he was. He was ready to yell and to scream and to rage, but then he thought of Morgana. About how he used to love her, and how she changed when he turned her away, He doesn’t want the same to happen to Merlin, doesn’t want him to change too. If Merlin dies because Arthur abandons him, he will never forgive himself.

So, as he snuffs out the fire and tries to cover up his tracks, because he knows Morgana will be looking for them, he doesn’t say anything. When he picks Merlin up and places him on the horse, he tries to be as gentle as he can. When he squeezes Merlin's hand in what he hopes is comforting, he just hopes Merlin doesn’t hate him completely.  

Merlin floats in and out of consciousness for what he thinks is a day, but he can’t be sure. When he first wakes up, he’s trotting along on a horse, Arthur behind him, and then he’s in front of a fire, sitting on the ground, then the horse again. Once, he wakes up to strangled screams, but he’s not sure what was going on. He’s too scared to ask. The fifth time he wakes up, however, it’s different. It’s not a coincidence, it’s on purpose, Arthur is shaking him awake. He makes out that they are next to the lake, where he has sent away so many corpses already.

It's calm and serene, obvious to all that is happening around it.

“Wha-” he starts to say blearily, he knows they haven’t reached Camelot yet, so what is going on?

Arthur silences him by placing a hand on his mouth. “We’ve got company,” he whispers. Merlin stiffens up, never a good thing. Not when you’re trekking through the woods, your companion and you both in bad conditions, both starving, one run through with a sword. Not when your companion is the ruler of kingdom which has war being waged against it.

“Arthur,” he says, his voice still sounding heavy and drowsy.

“What?” His mouth feels swollen, and he is incredibly tired, but he can tell he’s agitated, so he doesn't beat around. “Use the sword."

He looks surprised, the expression he hates. The one he uses whenever he realises that he underestimates everyone around him. "I think I know how to use a sword better than you do, Mer lin."

Prat.

"I mean, don't use your old sword, use Excalibur. It can kill anything. " Saying even this much feels like he just ran from Ealdor to Camelot without break, but he manages.

He opens his mouth to reply, but then his eyes widen. "Did you hear that?" His voice is low but urgent. Merlin blinks, he didn't hear anything other than the wind and- oh, he hears it now. There's distant screaming, coming from a woman from what it sounds like. It's barely noticeable, but the sounds of footsteps and something heavy being dragged on the forest floor towards them is much, much louder.

They exchange glances, only for a second. Merlin gestures towards the sword and Arthur nods, not questioning him for once.

Merlin tries to speak, he wants to help, but his throat is becoming clogged, and his vision is becoming blurry and- I am not going to survive. He thinks, before his eyes roll back into his head, and he passes out once more.

Arthur does not dare to say anything, or to do anything, other than stay frozen in his spot, sword in hand.

The noises are coming closer and closer. The screams have subsided now, but the steps have not. He knows he should highball out of there, but he has a feeling that whatever is coming their way cannot be outrun, and 50% of his lessons in swordplay focuses only on telling him to follow his gut.  

"Emrys," says a voice. He inhales sharply, he recognizes that voice; knows it better than he has any right too.

"Morgana," he breathes.

She pouts, looking disappointed. "Seems like our Emrys isn't awake. Shame, I wanted him to see you die." She says it casually, as if she tells her once-brother that she’s going to kill him every day.

He reminds himself - this is not his sister, not the woman he grew up with. If he doesn’t kill her, she will kill him. And she will take his kingdom.

But he never meant for them to get caught up in this, he had to control himself. He can’t rush to hug her or stab her. He can see a flicker of what she used to be, the brave, young woman. He needs her to hold onto that. If she doesn’t, he will have to do it. And he really, really doesn’t want to.

But as she lunges at him, the flicker ebbs out. She has slipped through his hands, and she has changed. She has been carried away by the waves of sorcery, and it has ruined her. He remembers her being his hero when they were young, when they used to sneak out of the castle to look at the stars. Her arguing with Uther over whether it was right to commit genocide, the irony of which has stuck with him. Her teaching him to use the sword, having already mastered it herself. Her forcing him to make friends with Gwen, who grew to become his ex-lover and best friend and surrogate queen. The memories keep on coming, and they don't stop. But she, like everyone else, changed. No matter what time, she is different now. It will never come back. He wants to go back, when they were innocent and naive, when everything was left for them to discover.

But he can’t.

So he fights back instead.

It's all he can do to make his hands steady as his blade sinks into her stomach, as he buries it deeper and deeper until it comes out on the other side. She looks surprised, then grim. She'll be alive for a few days, at most, a few minutes, at best.

But he can't bear to leave her suffering, alive but dying, tortured. So, he stabs her again, this time aiming for the heart, and again. And again. And again. When he is sure that she's dead, he stops, sliding onto his knees. He glares at the sword in contempt. He killed her; he killed his sister.

No .

He killed the woman who wanted to burn his kingdom to the ground. He had no other choice.

But what sort of person is he? He's killed both his knight and his former sister on the same day, with the same sword.

He grips it harder, then looks at the lake. He needs to get rid of it, that's what he needs to do. No one can find out what happened today, he can't let them. He raises it and throws it in. He had thought it would land on the banks, considering how heavy it is, but it doesn't. Instead, the sword flies out of his grip, and cuts through the air, towards the lake. He swears he can see a hand reaching out of the water to catch it, but it's probably a trick of the light.

He turns to her body laid on the ground, eyes open and unblinking, mouth looking as if gasping for breath, cloak sprawled around her like wings. She's dead.

Somehow, he knows if he had used the other sword, she would not be; he knows enough about magic to realise that the high priestess cannot be taken down by a normal weapon.

But Excalibur was not normal, was it? Just another thing to add to his list of questions.

It takes him thirty more minutes to dispose of her body in the lake, staring as it sinks deeper into the water. He doesn't look away, no. He deserves this. He has to remember, and he will.

He doesn't move for a long, long time. Only goes so when he realizes that, although she is dead, Merlin is not yet. Arthur intends to keep it that way. He turns his back on her. Every step drains him, but he does it.

He can't be left alone again.  

It takes them two more days to arrive in Camelot. All of it passes in awkward silence, with Merlin getting paler and paler with every passing second. Arthur doesn’t say anything out loud, but his mind is racing. He doesn’t think of them. He can’t. So he focuses on magic instead. He’s not sure if he trusts magic fully, even now, but maybe he should be more open-minded. Maybe he should give it a chance. Maybe it'll be different than it was with Morga- her.

When he arrives, it is completely different to what he had expected. There are mourners, of course. People in white, downcast expressions, closed windows, doors painted black. But there are also red banners hanging everywhere, citizens cheering as he rides past, ignoring Merlin behind him. Cries of "she is dead" and "the war is over". People are grieving, and there are those celebrating. He doesn't ask how they know of her death, he doesn't want to know. They tell him anyway. Apparently, the army stopped attacking, all of a sudden. They had cried, and shouted, and had turned back. It is unclear why, but Arthur knows he is the reason. Morgana dying at his hands is the reason.

Some help him get to Gaius', seeing how unamused he looks. They clear out the road, offer them water. Arthur is grateful for them, glad that at least some of his people acknowledged the dying man and had tried to help.

The physician is busy when he throws the door open, Merlin in tow. There are many, many people here. All with varying degrees of injuries. Arthur can’t bear to look at them. It’s his fault. It’s all his fault. So he ignores them, marches up to him.

“He’s- he’s been stabbed,” he chokes out.

Gaius’ eyes widen, and he rushes to follow Arthur. He lays Merlin out on one of the few empty beds, his body sprawls out on it. It’s sickening to look at as if he’s dead already.

He sets to work immediately, ordering Arthur to fetch herbs and vials and all sorts of things he doesn’t know the uses of. The people around them stare at him blankly, as if they know he’s the king, but they don’t fully recognise him.

He knows when he is not needed anymore, and backs away to watch. It's odd, and it feels so wrong. It's wrong to watch as Merlin is cut open and healed. Like he's invading his privacy. Merlin deserves better than to be put on a show in front of so many people.

He does try to help. Tries to tell as many people as he can to move to the castle, where he is sure more doctors would be willing to help, but some are in too bad of a condition to be moved as they are tended to by nurses. So he elects to focus on his friend instead.

Gaius' hands have always been steady, for as long had Arthur had known him. He cuts open bodies without worry, without even flinching. Which is not the case today, he notices. No, his hands are shaking. Not much as to be obvious, but he's known the man for far too long to not be able to tell when he's scared.

He thinks Merlin is going to die .

Arthur recoils violently. He doesn't know where the thought came from, because it's not true. It can’t be.

Merlin is going to survive. He tells himself.

Merlin. Is. Going. To. Survive.

Merlinisgoingtosurvive

MerlinisgoingtosurviveMerlinisgoingtosurvuveMerlinisgoingtosurvive

He repeats under his breath, rocking himself back and forth on his heels until he almost believes it. He has to.

He's not sure where the time has passed, because Gaius is in front of him all of a sudden but Arthur remembers him standing over the table just seconds ago.

Gaius shakes his head and it takes a few minutes for it to register in his mind. Arthur can't be looking at him, and his heartbreaking face. Just like him, Gaius' only support was Merlin. Was. Not is, was. Merlin is barely dead, and Arthur is already starting to think of him as a memory.

The physician knows what it feels like, but Arthur doesn't care.

"You should've done better," he hisses. He doesn't regret it. Doesn’t regret causing the shock he’s caused Gaius. But it's his fault too. He's the one Merlin took a sword for. But he needs to blame someone else. Because he doesn't want to think of the implications of Merlin dying at his hands. Gaius looks at him as if he is about to break, so Arthur walks away. From him, towards the corpse. He can't bear to face another person he's hurt.

It can't be true. There's got to be something he can do, something. He can't die, he can’t fucking die. Not when there's not much left to say. Not when they've just won. It's supposed to be a thing to celebrate, a war ending, he can't mourn. He can't give a speech to his kingdom which wasn't written by his best friend. Can't lose him. He doesn't think he'll be able to live without him.

He doesn't want to. He won't.

Merlin looks too much at peace, content in a way Arthur hasn't seen him in a long time. His long lashes casting shadows onto his freckled skin, his lips are twisted into a scowl, but he is at peace. He still looks the same, though. Beautiful and striking. Arthur's rock.

And dead.

Arthur’s hands move at their own accord, to stroke the side of his face. A sob escapes him before he can stop it, pushing through his throat. His people need assurance, and him crying like a bloody fool won't help. But that's the last thing on his mind. All he knows is Merlin is dead.

He isn’t able to stop staring, can't help wondering what he will do now. Whether the body will be burned or buried. He will be given a hero's funeral, it's no less than he deserves. He will be clothed in Camelot’s colours, or maybe his Ealdor's. Hunith would know better.

Oh lord, Hunith. She will have to find out through a letter. No. Arthur will have to go to tell her. He can't let her go through it alone.

He's about to turn away, to tell someone to help him move the body when his lips move.

Merlin's mouth opens, just a little bit, but enough to tell that he's alive.

Arthur feels a shock go through him. It was just an illusion.

Right?

"Merlin?" he asks. It can't be true, no matter how much he wants it to be. It was probably a trick of the light, but that can't be right. Because Merlin's eyes are opening and he's staring at him and some colour is returning to his cheeks and oh-

This the man he loves. And he waking up.

"Ar- Arth," he begins but Arthur shushes him. He’s alive, he’s speaking. He doesn’t know how, but it’s real. It’s actually real.

"I'm here," he assures him "I'm here." He shocks even himself as he leans down to kiss him. He's even more surprised when Merlin kisses him back. It only lasts a second before he pulls back, but he just kissed Merlin. It was rough, it wasn't perfect. But he's breathing. They're both here. He can't ask for more.

"Wha- what was," he exhales through his nose, as if speaking taxes him, "that for?"

"I wanted to," he says, shrugging, still not over the euphoria. He just lost him, he’s never going to again. The least he can do is not hide from the truth. "And, I, I also kind of love you. Like, I’m in love with you."

His eyes widen a fraction, but Arthur can tell he’s too tired to question it further.

He wants to say more, he has so many questions as to how he's still breathing, when he started practicing magic, why, but he doesn’t. He has time, they have all the time in the world.

He turns his back, yelling for Gaius. The physician shows up immediately, face lighting up when he takes in the sight of his son very much not-dead.

"We'll figure it out," he says, though he's not sure he heard him over the noise. "We'll figure it out." He grins. Yeah, they'll figure it out.

He swears, Merlin is beaming right back at him.

#bbc merlin #merlin #Arthur Pendragon #merlin fanfiction #merlin fic #merthur fic #merthur fanfic #merthur #merlin x arthur #arthur x merlin #merlin/arthur #arthur/merlin #finale rewrite #in which they both live #if you ignore the merthur #it could technically have happened lmao #kinda plausible #merlin is just so fucking tired #of the pendragons being dramatic little shits #but he forgets #that he too is a dramatic little shit #how to tag #especially fanfics #tumblr is not the place to post this #but here you will find my humble and terrible and cringey offerings anywyas