#Hurts theo

[lesbiradshaw]

lovers’ quarrel <3

#in honor of dylan sprayberry confirming that they fell in love during this episode #this scene is so ridiculous when you really think about it like 😭😭😭😭 #liam didnt even really do anything to elicit this theo just decided to go on this little rant unprompted #who REALLY needed the reminder that theo raeken is selfish hmm????? #but also liam looks so hurt… my son with his conflicting feelings 🫂 #losers. #thiam #theo raeken x liam dunbar #theo raeken/liam dunbar #theo x liam #theo/liam #liam x theo #teen wolf #6.09 memory found #tw flashing

[theostrophywife]

kiss with a fist | chapter nine.

masterlist 💋 chapters 💋 playlist

pairing: theodore nott x reader.

song inspiration: only love can hurt like this - paloma faith.

author's note: i'm truly sorry for this chapter. that's all.

The following week was the busiest you’ve ever been since term started. During the first two days alone, you had an exam in Alchemy, an essay in History of Magic, and a presentation for Charms. Combined with your prefect duties and the array of clubs and organizations you were involved in, you felt utterly drained by the time Wednesday finally rolled around. 

You slumped into your usual spot at the Great Hall and muttered a greeting to the entire table. 

“Merlin’s beard, you look more ghostly than Peeves,” said Mattheo. You glared at him in response, but opted to stay silent as you shoveled spoonfuls of mashed potato and gravy into your mouth. “Not even an insult, Y/N? Now I’m officially worried.” 

“I’m exhausted,” you grunted. “I can’t even spare a single breath on how stupid your hair looks today, Riddle.”

Mattheo grinned. “And she’s back.” 

You glanced around the table, not even realizing that you were searching for Theo until your gaze landed on his empty seat. You hadn’t seen him since the Hogsmeade trip, but you assumed it was because you’d skipped most meals to study at the library instead. 

“Where’s Theo?” 

Draco shrugged. “We thought he’d be with you.” 

“I haven’t seen him all week.” 

“Come to think of it, neither have I,” added Blaise. “Berkshire?” 

Enzo looked up from his muffin. “I’ve only seen him in class. I figured he was studying with you, Y/N.” 

“He’s probably just out for a smoke,” Pansy suggested. 

It made sense. Theo did have a weakness for the little cancer sticks. You didn’t think much of it at the time, but when the week winded down to a halt on Friday morning and you still hadn’t caught a glimpse of Theo, you were beginning to think that something else was going on with him. He hadn’t accompanied you to feed Henry either, which you found extremely strange. 

Ever since you first introduced him to the baby thestral, Theo never missed your visits to the Forbidden Forest. When you asked the boys, they said that while he did seem more moody and distant than usual, Theo still showed up to classes and quidditch practice. The only time he was noticeably absent was during meals at the Great Hall, which he obviously knew you would be present at. It might’ve been paranoia creeping in, but you were beginning to think that Theo was purposely avoiding you. 

Fortunately, you had Potions with him that afternoon which would either confirm or disprove your suspicions. When you walked into the classroom, you did so with your head held high despite the obvious lingering discomfort from the slug club dinner. Professor Slughorn bowed his head as you took your seat, but you were too busy worrying about Theo to care. He was nowhere to be found.

You and Draco exchanged worried glances until Theo came bustling through the door exactly a minute before class started. He said nothing as he passed the aisle, skipping the table you usually shared to sit next to Malfoy. The blonde seemed surprised by this and shot you a questioning look. 

Well, that all but confirmed it. Theo was definitely avoiding you. 

You barely paid attention to the lesson as you racked your brain for a logical explanation. Was he mad at you about something? The last time you spoke had been the night of the Hogsmeade trip. You ate a perfectly pleasant dinner at the Three Broomsticks and even chugged a heinous amount of butterbeer together. On the trek back to the castle, Theo insisted on carrying your bags and kept hiding the fudge from you. 

Nothing about that night indicated that he was upset with you. There had been that moment in the snow, but he had been annoyed with Mattheo and Enzo for the interruption more than anything else. Unless Theo had expected you to bring it up again, which you most definitely did not. 

But still, you hardly thought that was a reason for him to suddenly give you the cold shoulder. Maybe he was embarrassed. Maybe he regretted it. 

The possibilities weaved an endless thread of thoughts in your mind. By the time class winded down, you had given yourself a headache from thinking so much, which made you cranky and slightly angry because you realized that you hadn’t paid attention to a single thing Slughorn had said for the past hour and a half. 

As your fellow classmates and professor filtered out of the classroom, you stayed behind and waited for the chance to talk to Theo. He seemed to be packing his things slowly, probably expecting you to grow impatient and leave before missing your next class. Sometimes it irked you how well Theo knew you. 

You marched up to his table with your arms crossed. 

Theo slowly looked up from his seat. “Can I help you with something, Y/N?” 

“I haven’t seen much of you this week.” 

He carelessly tossed a quill into his bag. “I’ve been busy.” 

“Obviously.” You took a deep breath and pushed down your irritation. “I just...thought I’d check up on you. That’s all.” 

“I’m fine,” he snapped. 

“You haven’t shown up to any meals and you even skipped out on feeding Henry. Draco said you’ve been acting off all week.”

“Malfoy needs to mind his own goddamn business.”

You frowned. “He’s just worried about you, Theo. So am I.” 

“I told you, I’m fine. Don’t bother worrying about me. I’m not your responsibility.”

“I never said you were,” you snapped back, barely leashing your annoyance. “If you want space, that’s fine but you don’t need to lash out at me or anyone else.”

Theo clenched his fists. “Well I’m sorry that my mood has become such an inconvenience, but seeing as none of you know how to leave me the fuck alone, I don’t really give a shit if you feel like I’m lashing out.”

His words lit a fuse in you until your irritation bubbled into anger. “What is your problem?” you bit out. 

Theo rolled his jaw, averting his gaze. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“This,” you exclaimed, waving your hands over him in frustration. “This is what I’m talking about. I don’t know what I said or did to upset you, but obviously there’s a reason why you’re this pissed because you’ve been avoiding me all week.” 

He sneered. “Please, don’t flatter yourself.” 

You wanted to throttle him. You wanted to lean over the table, grab him by the collar, and shake him until he came to his senses, but you knew that nothing good would come out of this conversation if you stooped to his level of stubbornness. 

“Why are you acting like this, Theo?”

For the first time that day, he looked up and met your gaze. Something unreadable flashed through his eyes, but Theo snuffed it out quickly. That mask of cocky arrogance, the one that he had lowered more and more over the past few months suddenly locked into place. It was painful to physically watch him put his walls up.

Those endearing dimples and playful sense of humor that you've grown so fond of were nowhere to be found. His lips curled into a sneer, those watercolour eyes devoid of emotion. There was no cheeky smile, no suggestive banter, no trace of the boy you had come to think of as your friend. This wasn't your Theo. You had no idea who the stranger standing in front of you was.

“Like what?” He said in a venomous tone. “This is how I’ve always been. You said it yourself. We’re rivals, remember? It’s not my fault that you thought we’d be anything more.” 

“I thought we moved past this petty rivalry bullshit.” Your chest tightened as though someone had reached into your heart and wrenched it out of place. “I thought we were starting to become friends.”

“I am not your fucking friend, Y/N.”

You flinched and took a step back. Theo clocked your reaction and winced, but it was too late for his regret now. It felt like he had poured a cauldron full of acid over your head. A part of you wished he had instead. It would have hurt less. 

Out of instinct, your defenses locked into place one by one. You laughed bitterly. “So what? You can fuck me, but you can’t even call me your friend?”

For a split second, Theo’s expression fell, but it was swiftly replaced by anger. “What did you expect? That we’d walk down the halls acting like we’re best mates? The Ravenclaw and her little Slytherin simpering after her like some fucking dolt? That’s not us. We fight, we fuck, and that’s it. Honestly, Y/N. I don’t know what the fuck you want from me!”

You could have let it go. Obviously you knew that there was a deeper reason why he was acting like this. You could have walked away and accepted that Theo was just incapable of communicating his feelings without pushing you away, but backing down from an argument had never really been your style. You were like a rabid dog with a bone. Incapable of admitting defeat.

“I want you stop being a fucking asshole and tell me why you’re so goddamn angry because obviously something’s set you off since we last spoke.” You rounded the corner of the table and got in his face. The chair made a scraping sound against the floor as Theo stood and easily towered over you. His height advantage didn’t deter you from pointing your finger in his face. “What is your fucking problem?” 

Theo growled as he seized your wrist. “Don’t fucking push me, Y/N.”

You yanked your arm out of his grip and tugged at his tie. “Why not, Theo? Hm? Are you afraid that your little asshole charade will crumble the second you have a genuine moment? Godric fucking forbid you express an actual emotion without deflecting it with humor.”

He pushed you against the table, his eyes flashing like a dark sign in the ether. You knew it was a bad idea to push him, but you just couldn't help yourself. Something inside of you longed to activate the big red button of Theo's temper. “You have no idea how I feel.”

“That’s exactly the point! You hide behind that cocky, arrogant little smirk and you think it makes you strong, but it doesn’t. In fact, it makes you weak.”

“Shut up,” Theo snarled. “Shut the fuck up, right now.”

“Why don’t you fucking make me?”

As soon as the words came out of your mouth, you knew you would live to regret it. Theo smashed his lips against yours, cutting off whatever insult you were about to hit him with next. You gasped as he slipped his tongue inside your mouth, his kisses possessive and punishing. 

“You drive me fucking insane,” Theo growled as he picked you up and placed you on the table as though you weighed nothing. 

“And you don’t?” you shot back, pulling at the curls at the nape of his neck. “You’re so frustrating that it makes me want to fucking scream.” 

His teeth grazed your neck and he bit down hard. “Why is it that you insist on having the last word every time? Why can’t you just leave things alone?” 

“Why can’t you stop being a prick and say whatever it is that you want to say instead of throwing a goddamn tantrum?” You retorted as you unlooped his tie. “You’re not a child, Theo. You need to grow the fuck up!”

He nearly ripped the buttons off of your shirt, his hands shaking with anger and anticipation. “Oh, like you’re so fucking mature. Cornering me. Riling me up. You knew exactly what you were doing, Y/N.” 

“What was I supposed to do?” You said angrily as you undid his belt. “Making you angry seems to be the only way to get you talking.” 

“If it wasn’t already fucking obvious, I don’t want to talk!” 

“So what? You just want to sit around and pout, leaving the rest of us to figure out what the fuck is wrong with you?” 

“No,” he growled, gripping your thighs so hard that it was sure to leave marks. “What I want is to fuck out my frustrations until I stop feeling so goddamn angry.” 

“So fucking do it already!” 

“Bend over,” Theo snarled, spinning you around until your back pressed against his chest. “Bend the fuck over right now.” 

You leaned over the table, your cheek pressed against the smooth surface as Theo pumped himself behind you. He hiked your skirt above your waist and palmed you through your soaked panties. Theo hissed when he felt how wet you were for him. He didn’t even bother removing your thong, opting to push it to the side before slotting himself inside of you. 

“Fuck,” Theo cursed, bracing himself against the table. “God, you’re so tight.” 

“Stop talking and fucking mo—“ 

You didn’t get the chance to finish your sentence before Theo thrusted sharply into you. He chuckled darkly as your moan echoed off the walls. Theo ripped the scrunchie holding your braid together and gripped your hair in one hand while the other pressed gently against your throat. 

“I told you,” he whispered harshly, his lips pressed against your neck. “There’s nothing I enjoy more than fucking the attitude right out of you. Not so brave now, are you Y/N?”

“Fuck you, Theo.” 

“Technically I’m fucking you,” he said with a smirk. 

The pace he set was punishing. You were vaguely aware of glass breaking and books scattering to the ground, but you didn’t care. This was familiar. Fighting with your bodies made sense to you. 

All of the pent up feelings and tension made you anxious. It was a disaster waiting to happen. The anger within you was Mount Vesuvius, boiling and roiling with hot magma, ready to explode and erupt at any given moment, while whatever complicated relationship that had blossomed between you and Theo served as Pompeii. There was nothing strategic or logical about any of this, but at this moment, you wanted nothing more than to lose yourself in angry, meaningless sex. 

Except it wasn’t meaningless. Not really. Because when Theo turned you around and placed you over his lap, you felt like you couldn’t breathe. 

“Look at me, Y/N.” You clamped your eyes shut. You didn’t trust yourself not to cry if you opened them right now. Theo caressed your cheek. “Please, just look at me.” 

“Why?” you asked, your voice breaking. “What good would that do?” 

“I want to see your eyes,” he answered. “I need you to see what you've done to me. I need you to see that you've wrecked me, ruined me. I can't breathe when you're around and it's even more painful when you aren't. I feel like I've gone mental. You've lodged yourself so deep that I wouldn't be able to get you out even if I ripped my heart out of my chest."

“Don’t,” you hissed, snapping your eyes wide open. You felt like a cornered animal, lashing out at the closest thing. “I don’t want to hear it, Theo. You’re only saying that because we’re having sex and you want to clear your conscience. Don’t fucking bother. We can fuck and get it out of our systems one last time without you feeling guilty about it.” 

Theo stiffened. The gravity of your words rolled over him like the eruption that had destroyed the ancient Roman city. Whatever precarious thing that may have existed between you died right then and there. Everything turned to ash and the bitterness of destruction lingered in your mouth, choking you with its acrid taste. Theo pried himself away from you and angrily pulled his clothes back on.

“Is that what you think this is?” He seethed, his voice dripping with venom. “Just a quick fuck to get it out of our systems?”

You tugged your shirt back on and smoothed over the front of your skirt. “What?” you challenged. “It’s like you said, Theo. We fight, we fuck, and that’s it.” 

His expression crumpled as you threw his words back at him. It tasted like ash in your mouth, but the bitterness was nothing compared to the ache in your chest as Theo pinned you with his gaze. There wasn't any trace of anger left in him. Instead, you saw nothing but disappointment.

It struck you harder more than his fury would have. You didn’t understand why he was acting like this. Theo was the one who pushed you away first. You were just returning the favor. 

Those watercolor eyes that had become so familiar to you had never seemed farther, like they belonged to a complete stranger. “I may be weak for hiding my feelings, but what does that make you?” His wounded expression cut you to the core. “You’re always so smart, so calculated. Two steps ahead of everyone else. There isn’t an argument that you aren’t determined to win." His lip trembled as he averted your gaze. "Well, I’m done fighting. No matter what I do, you just keep rebuilding that impenetrable armor of yours and I’m tired of trying to break through, Y/N.” 

There had never been anything more tragic than the look of absolute defeat on Theo’s face. You watched in silence as he walked out of the empty classroom.

It might’ve been minutes or hours later before you finally peeled yourself off of the table. You walked through the dungeons alone, feeling cold and numb. The sun had started to set over the horizon when you finally made it back to Ravenclaw Tower. You held yourself together until you opened the door to your dorm. Luna took one look at you before rushing to your side. 

Your friend caught you just before you crumpled to the ground. Luna held you in her arms as you sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. Somewhere deep within you, a dam had broken and all of the emotions and tears and ugly, complicated feelings that you kept contained behind a steel wall of logic spilled out of you in waves. 

“It’s alright,” Luna whispered, rubbing your back. “It’s going to be alright, Y/N.”

You didn’t have the heart to tell her that she was wrong. Nothing would ever be alright again because you hadn’t just watched Theo walk out of that empty potions classroom.

You watched him walk out of your life as well. 

Taglist: @annaisabookworm@marina468@yaraasthings @the0doreslover@bubybubsters@moony-artemis @natasha887@lucyysthings@criesinlies @bunnymallowo@niktwazny303 @letmedownslows @siriuslyalovergirl@wordsarelife@clairesjointshurt @daydreamingabthar @mishtay @cherry-hoe  @littlebookbengal @maybefoxysouls @nomup  @aliensknowmyillusions @cinderellawithashoe @starsval @kalulakunundrum @lucyysthings @siriuslysmoking @purplegirls-posts @unstablereader @lqclercs @whatsupb18 @rikirritated @psychedeliccc @jetblackpayne @clairesjointshurt @ama1a2 @omwtkydttfym @cinderellawithashoe @xeqr @txzii @goldenmagnolias @ilikefictionalmen @xxpeachyxo @dirt-cup-draco @willowecho25518 @shulipp @pompeygirl89 @lame-ferrum @dustbunniess @justdizzie @sopsopsopy @therealallisonspear @sweetwonieee @spacecadet16 @moonsreid @grrbrielew

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#i am so so sorry like i hurt myself with this too #theo nott #theodore nott #theo nott x reader #theo nott smut #theo nott x y/n #theo nott x you #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x you #theodore nott x y/n #theodore nott smut #theodore nott imagine

[cassiopeiasdaughter]

mirrorball

Theodore Nott x fem!reader

warnings: language, mentions of stress and an existential crisis? not proofread

summary: you are stressed and tired from being the one that takes care of everyone, and a concerned Slytherin boy wants to help

this was requested by @lalalenka and Paula 💛 for my celebration Theodore masterlist

When did life get so heavy? When did play dates turn into study sessions? When did begging your mom to check for monsters under your bed, turn into you crying into your pillow over your worries and fears? When did reality start feeling so real?

You think about that often, especially at nights, when your friends are asleep and you can remove the mask you wear, the face of happiness and optimism. You don’t have to play the part of the person who has everything under control when you are alone, you can be yourself, lost and afraid.

You are currently sitting in the Great Hall, waiting for your friends to come down for breakfast, start yet another busy day together. You woke up earlier today, exam season is coming up and sleep is something you struggle with, during those times. You know, your friends always wake up too late, that’s why you’ve grabbed their favorite pastries from the breakfast table, so you can hand them later on your way to class. It’s peaceful like this, sipping your coffee alone, planning your day as you eat; quietly going over everything you need to do-

“Are you alright?”, you hear a voice interrupting you from your thoughts

It’s Theodore Nott, you realize as you raise your head. Theodore, Theo is not a friend of yours. He is a boy from your year, a Slytherin, that you occasionally talk to during class. 

You see him at the library almost everynight, you two are always the last ones to leave. Your study dates, as you like to call them, began during 5th year; when you were hunched over a tome of Arithmancy begging yourself to understand, what the passage in front of you was saying, but failing miserably. That’s when you felt his hand on your shoulder, asking, if you accidentally cast a spell on yourself.

“I can’t understand anything.”, you remember whining and he spent the night tutoring you. You offered him help in DADA, in return and you ended up studying together for your OWLs. You like to think that you passed with good grades thanks to him, but he doesn’t agree.

Theo, is someone you feel calm and safe enough around to not fake your feelings or thoughts, most of the times, at least. Again, he isn’t your friend, but he isn’t a stranger or a mere acquaintance either. What he is exactly, that you can’t answer.

“I’m fine, why?”, you reply looking at him confused

“You’ve run out of bread for your butter.”, he says taking a seat across from you.

You stare down and see that you’ve been spreading butter on a slice of bread for so long that you’ve made a hole in the middle, with crumbs all over your plate.

Before, you can say or do anything he places a large piece of toast in front of you, with butter and blueberry jam, just how you like it.

“See you later.”, he calls out as he leaves, not giving you the time to thank him.

You spend breakfast with a smile on your face, your day suddenly feeling warmer and brighter.

“Goodmorning!”, you hear your best friend singing, while she wraps her arms around you and takes a seat.

“Morning to you too.”, you say laughing and hand her her favorite chocolate cake the one that always runs out first.

“What would I do without you?”, she says cheeks stuffed and crumbs falling everywhere- a sight that makes you laugh and always reminds you how much you love her.

“Probably still wandering around the forbidden forest.”, you say laughing, and cutting a corner from her cake

“That was ages ago, please let it go.”

“Never, now come on, we’ll be late.”, you giggle at her protests and drag her to class.

Theo isn’t brave or daring, if he were, his friends wouldn’t be giving him such a hard time about his crush and his approach, the lack of action mainly.

“You keep going like that, you won’t be in the friend zone, you’ll be in the study buddy zone, which is far force.”, Blaise warned him. But what was he to do about that? You had different friend groups and your schedules didn’t match. Was he supposed to just ask you to Hogsmeade out of the blue? 

“Yeah so this is the proper movement for the spell, now what are you doing Saturday?”, no way would he ever say that.

“Yeah, you’ll be associated with Ancient Runes Theo, no one finds that hot.”, Pansy commented- to which he responded with an eye roll.

“Maybe, I don’t want to do something about it.”, he said to his friends 

“Keep pining then.”, Draco replied 

“Maybe I will.”, and with that he stood up and left, wanting to take a walk and clear his thoughts, ignore his friends and their unfortunately correct but not practical opinions. It was fine, he would get over it and he would be fine. 

He would not be fine, he told himself as soon as he saw you, second time for today; laughing with your friends- pestering them to drink water- running around with bottles in your hands. 

His eyes light up by the way you giggle as you talk to them, maybe you are telling a story- he can’t understand, but your gestures and facial features- the way you look; alive and loud and beautiful, they send shocks down his spine. 

He knows it’s cheesy and stupid, but to him you are the sun. You are warm to others, always making your friends laugh- you take care of them, sometimes to the point of neglecting yourself. But, you are loving and kind and you light up any place you step into. It’s a shame, really, because he is nothing like the sun- he is dark and reserved, but still, your light doesn’t blind him, it could never.

“Hi Theo.”, you wave as he passes by, in a much better mood than you were this morning and he waves back with a smile, taking longer strides to leave your eyesight and maybe hide in a broomcloset?

It was getting really late and you were still in the library studying. You had so much homework and revising to do, and at some point you needed to tutor third years and prepare for dueling battles. Everything was too much, and you had no one to help you. You didn’t know how to ask your friends for help, you’d spent the past six years being the responsible one- the mom friend, you had everything under control and cared for others. The roles couldn’t be reversed now. But, it made you feel so alone, the alienation adding another weight on your chest.

“Hey.”, you hear Theo’s voice, in a soft whisper and raise your head to look at him, his books are closed and stacked in front of him, signaling he is getting ready to leave.

You spent all afternoon studying together, and it had started fine- you felt productive for the first hour, but after a while, words had stopped making sense.

“It’s really late, do you want to leave the rest for tomorrow?”

“I have one chapter left, you don’t have to wait for me, g-goodnight.”, you dismiss him with a smile

But he doesn’t leave and you look at him with eyebrows raised high. 

“One chapter.”, he whispers innocently lightly holding his hands in front of him, before he opens up a book, pretending to study.

You scoff at that and lower your head once more, to the passage in front of you. Letters are dancing in the page taunting you- catch us, they say, try to make sense of this. You are tired and Theo looking at you, concerned, isn’t helping your brain focus. You wait five, maybe seven minutes before you let out a quiet groan and say, “Fine, lets go.”, meeting Theo and the stupid satisfied look on his face.

The way back to your dorm is quiet, you are both tired from schoolwork and the lack of sleep is another crack on the mask you wear near others. You bite down at your lip nervously, as you think all of the work you didn’t get done, and all the extra homework you’ll have to finish tomorrow. You think of your friends and the parties they are begging you to go to and the Hogsmeade outings you’ve missed due to being exhausted. You think of their grades and how easy it is for them to succeed, while you spend hours in the library and still fail. You think about the future and how you don’t know what you want it to look like, and you think about life and how small you seem compared to the world.

You don’t feel the tears that slide down your cheeks, or the water in your eyes- blocking your sight. You understand you’re crying, only when a sob escapes your mouth, one that has been begging to come out for the longest time. After that, it is inevitable for you to break down, not caring about Theo and what he’ll think of you, or about the prefects who’ll come running thinking there’s been an accident in the hallways. But he calls your name, and that ruins you even more.

“‘M sorry.”, you whine- crying and turn your body away from him, lowering yourself on the ground wishing you could disappear.

“What is it? Is it that stupid Potions chapter? I’ll help you with that, don’t cry over that.”, he says panicking, kneeling behind you.

“No, no, it’s not- it’s everything. It’s all too much.”

“What is?”, he asks calmly, placing a hand on your shoulder hesitantly- you don’t tense at his touch, your body relaxes and you turn around- your face wet and red staring at him.

“Everything; school, life, everything.”, you whimper, “I have so much to do, but I can’t- I can’t. And everyone expects me to have everything under control, but I don’t, and I can’t do it anymore.”, you exclaim placing your head in the palm of your hand.

“No one expects you to have everything under control, it’s- it’s impossible to do.”

“Yes, they do! If I am not there for everyone, if I let them see how lost I feel, they-”

“They'll what? Leave you?”, he asks shaking his head at what you’re saying

“No, yes, maybe, I don’t know. They won’t be able to handle it- I am sure.”

“Even if that were true.”, he says slowly, releasing your head from your hands, urging you to look at him, “If you can’t let your friends see, then you can show me. You can talk to me, don’t keep all that inside. There are enough self-sacrificing idiots in the Gryffindor Tower, we don’t need one more.”, he jokes and you let out a small laugh

“Why would you want to be bothered with my issues?”

“I- you, you don’t have to always be the person who cares for everyone, you can-should be the one cared for.”

“Why?”, you ask again, the air shifting between you into something different. Something that moves the pain from your chest and turns it into butterflies in your stomach.

“Ah- well-“, he let’s out a breath, “- because I- I like spending time with you, and I want to be there for you, besides, I can handle anything you shoot at me.”, he finishes; his face red and sweaty.

You have stopped crying now, your vision is still blurry and your breath uneven- but something inside you has changed. As if, a bright light has found it’s way inside, providing hope and something new- something you haven’t felt before, but desperately want to keep. 

“Thank you.”, you say softly and let him help you up, you two resuming your walk but with a different destination this time.

“Come.”, he says and offers his hand- which you gladly take, letting him guide you wherever.

You walk outside, and let the cool air hit you- ground you. It’s late at night, you are at Hogwarts, near the lake, you are at your 7th year and next to you, stands Theodore Nott, your study partner Theo. The Slytherin boy- that looks handsome but has no clue, the brilliant Theo, who always helps you out and is willing to listen. Theo, who is still holding your hand while pointing at stars and constellations with his other. Theo, who smells like pine and fireplace, as you lean against him and listen to his voice. Theo, who you can count on and thanks to whom you know it will be okay. Everything will be okay.

A/N: life will be okay with or without Theo Nott, you all deserve to be happy and loved, just needed to remind y'all :)

Theo taglist: @avalynlestrange @spacecadet16 @lucy-is-never-logical @aleviia @marina468 @annaisabookworm @liarajoah @notasadgirlipromise @pariseffer @unlikelysadgirl @ktz-bb @lizisthecoolest

#theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott imagine #theo nott #theo nott imagine #theo nott x reader #theodore nott fluff #Theodore Nott hurt/comfort #fluff #hurt/comfort

[your-gf-lucy]

calm in chaos

this idea has been stuck in my head for a while so i decided to write it out also i think this is such a cute idea. everyone thank @m3ntallyunstable34 for telling me to write this i srsly would not have otherwise. also im unaware of the differences between panic attacks and anxiety attacks but I used to have panic attacks as a child bc of traumatic stuff so idk

pairing: theodore nott x gn!reader

warnings: panic attacks, angst (ish), fluff, hurt comfort, not proof read, my writing lol and that's about it

summary: you get reminded of some not so pleasant memories and the one person you never expected to even know of your existence helps you get through it.

call me crazy but i really like this one 🤭🤭

The attack wasn't a pleasant memory. Well, of course it wasn't. It fucked you up so bad that there wasn't a day that went by where you didn't see his face in your nightmares. He who almost killed you. He who lied to you. He who was called Voldemort.

Sure, being reminded of it always ruined your day, but the extremity of what happened today because of that memory fucked you up even more.

You were sitting down in the library doing your work until it had gotten dark. Your friends had left the library to go to their respective house parties. You couldn't be bothered to go what with all the assignments you had piled up that you had to work on. You were alone and it was quiet. Everything was alright. You were exhausted so you started to pack away. Everything was alright. You got up to walk to your dorm. Everything was alright.

And then it just wasn't.

You closed your eyes for a brief second and then you saw his face. And just like that all the concealed emotions were revealed.

Your body was racked with fear and the more you tried not to think about it, the more vivid the memories became. You tried to control them, tried to keep your emotions at bay but eventually, you stopped trying to fight it.

Your breathing became unsteady. Now was the worst possible time for a panic attack. All your friends were at parties and you had no one to help distract you.

Fuck.

You didn't have much time. You rushed up the stairs to the astronomy tower desperate for the slightest hint of fresh air. You stumbled into the astronomy tower just in time. Your breath was heavy, it was getting really hard to breathe.

Your body started shaking. The frozen air didn't help the shivering.

Fuck.

You really needed a friend, or even just a simple, pleasant distraction. You tried to breathe in, tried to calm yourself down but nothing seemed to help. You were going to give up.

You knew the panic attack would win. You knew he would win.

And just as you were about to give up, you felt a hand on yours.

"Hey, you okay?" you heard a voice from your left side. Turning to your left, you saw a tall body towering over you. Theodore Nott.

You knew him. Everyone knew him. Everyone wanted him. He didn't seem like the type of person to give anyone attention. Especially not you.

Yet here he was, your knight in shining armour. Talking to you. Looking at you. Caring for you.

It had been a long time since you had felt like someone cared for you. You had friends, sure, but you were never really close with them. You knew they'd leave you dead if it set them apart. You never felt as close to them as you felt with Theo at this moment. You'd never talked to him, but he was attractive and even you couldn't deny that..

You weren't even sure if he knew your name.

"Are you having a panic attack?" He repeated.

"Yeah, yeah- i- sorry- h-how do you know?" You said in between short breaths. You didn't want to be so vulnerable around him. You figured he'd make fun of you with his friends.

"Well you not being able to breathe is definitely a sign." Theo chuckled.

"Oh yeah, i guess" you smiled slightly.

"Okay, who's your least favourite professor?" Theo asked.

What? You were having a panic attack and he was concerned who your least favourite professor was? priorities

"Oh erm it's got to be umbridge." You replied.

"Oh my, that woman is a nightmare. Why do you hate her so much?" Theo continued.

"She's annoying. She likes to believe she's in power. That she's the best. But in reality, she's a stuck-up, irritating try-hard who is only a teacher so she can shout at children." You replied.

"Oh, I couldn't agree with you more," Theo replied. "Feeling better?"

You seemed to have been so occupied in insulting your defence against the dark arts teacher you seemed to have forgotten about your panic attack. Your breathing was now much more steady and your body didn't seem to shake as much.

He extended his hand to grasp yours, but before he could, you pressed yourself against his frame, embracing him tightly. Your body was racked with sobs. He was shocked at your response but quickly regained his composure and pulled you in even tighter.

"Shh" he whispered in your ear. "You'll be okay"

It was mostly quiet except for when he whispered comforting affirmations in your ear.

After a couple of minutes of you staying like this, your body completely stopped shaking and you felt stronger like it wasn't just you against the world anymore. It felt like you had someone who cared about you. Someone who was there for you. Someone who listened to you.

"Thank you. Really. I'm sure i would've passed out if it weren't for you." You smiled at him.

"It's alright." He replied.

"How did you know all this?" you asked

"What do you mean?" he questioned looking at you quizzically.

"You knew what to do when i had the panic attack. How?" you repeated.

"I have them. My mum taught me how to deal with them before she erm." Theo explained stopping abruptly at the end.

"Oh wow erm sorry"

"No you're good." He replied.

"Well thanks again, I owe you one." You said.

"No problem y/n." He replied.

He knew your name.

Theodore Fucking Nott knew your name.

#theo nott x reader #theodore nott #theodore nott x reader #theodore nott x you #theodore nott x y/n #theodore nott fluff #theodore nott imagine #theodore nott fanfiction #theodore nott fic #theo nott #panic attack #theo nott x you #theo nott imagine #theo nott x y/n #theodore nott angst #slytherin boys #niccolo govender #lorenzo zurzolo #baby #hurt comfort #luce posts 💌

[mattodore]

he's waiting on a call he's planning to send straight to voicemail

#sorry matthias </3 maybe he'll pick up the next time you try calling............ <- me when i lie #river dipping #ts4 #ts4 edit #gifs #theodore doe #echthroi #hi friends and lovers hope everyone's doing well <3 #i got my old laptop to work so i have a laptop again even if the battery on it is messed up #but still #i haven't been online much bc i've started getting dizzy from staring at computer/phone screens for too long #and in particular the act of scrolling either on mobile or desktop makes my head spin and my eyes hurt :/ #but i powered through it yesterday so i could get in game with theo (and matthias) since i missed him really bad... oc plague be upon ye #i took... well. like five hundred screenshots and forty videos... i was in the soup. the mattodore soup. what can i say? #i don't like posting too much on here bc. i'm crazy (<- has avpd) so i probably won't post much from yesterday's fun here #but i'll post whatever i want on pillowfort <3 pic of jerma holding out his hand captioned let's take mattodore together #what else should i say before leaving... right my inbox... well i'll get to it eventually <- have been saying this since october sorry #but okay i've been staring at my screen too long so i need to go lay down for a bit #enjoy theo in motion!! if you’re a theo-head like myself #theodite à la jermamite? hm. its in the works. i’m workshopping. #mentioning jerma twice in these tags… busting a cyanide pill onto my tongue i’ve said too much #i have to go now mwah mwah mwah bye warmth and love to you mwah

[crvptidgf]

Bad Blood • pt. II

Mattheo Riddle x Reader

➸ summary: After the Battle of Hogwarts, you find it difficult to let go of the past. Your trauma lies deeper than you think. When when you meet somebody who understands your pain, your journey of self-discovery and healing begins to set sail. For once, everything in your life seems to click.

➸ warnings/notes: reader is of romanian descent, afab! reader, mentions of trauma, descriptions of death and traumatic events, profanity, friends to lovers trope, hurt/comfort, eventual smut (18+), trauma bonding, eventual mutual pining, mentions of the golden trio being dicks for the sake of the story

word count: 1.9k

————————

THE DAY AFTER the choosing ceremony was a little anticlimactic.

It was our first day of classes, and everybody had gotten sorted into their designated houses last night. We of course already knew where we would be put - the ceremony was more of an introduction into first year than anything. It was customary to put on the sorting hat - kind of like a rite of passage, or an initiation.

We had done it in secondary school and we had done it again while moving onto our next phase in life. The next phase - which I had no idea what held in store for me.

At the beginning of summer we had chosen our preferred subjects, classes which we would be studying in detail as opposed to the general knowledge that we had learned the years prior.

My first of the day was potions; obviously.

Since the majority - or more like all - of my friends were in Gryffindor, I left the Slytherin common room alone. Walking past them in the Great Hall, I bid them a good morning before finding a seat at my appointed table.

We were never allowed to stray from our house tables at breakfast - that was only reserved for lunch. A rule which was quite silly, I admit, but it was what we had to live by.

"It's a pity that you can't sit with your friends," came Enzo's voice, his body sliding next to mine on the bench. I shrugged casually before digging into the plates before me.

"It's alright - I survived the last 3 years of school, how different can college be?"

His eyes held a certain sadness in them before he cleared his throat. I was glad to be talking to him again.

"Well you can always sit with me."

I thanked him as I shoved a piece of bacon in my mouth, muffling my gratitude. As much as I hated to admit it, I was really appreciative of him. It felt great to have someone to sit with.

"Oh yeah, such a shame that you can't sit with those gits," said Theo. I almost didn't even notice him and Mattheo arriving. They sat in front of me, ignoring Enzo's glare at Theo's words.

I had no problem dealing with assholes who thought they were better than everyone. After all, Harry and I had our fair share of arguments with Draco Malfoy. He had calmed down immensely, but before the war he was a handful.

Theo needed less of an ego. Well, what's one more prideful Slytherin to kick down a notch?

"Leave off, Nott," said Enzo.

I simply ignored him as I dug into my breakfast. That day I made the note that Hogwarts University breakfasts were a God send. I was almost completely full after not even half of the plate.

It was nice to talk to other Slytherins. It was nice to not be judged simply by the name of my house - and it was nice to not have to sit alone for once.

Although Theo was a bit judgmental of my friends, he was nice to talk to. It didn't last long, though. He began to complain about the Golden Trio - saying that they were too pretentious and up their own ass.

"Those are my friends you're talking about," I said. I tried to not let him get to me, but with each word that exited his foul mouth, my blood boiled one degree higher.

Theo just rolled his eyes as he continued eating.

Mattheo's gaze met mine over the table.

"What class do you have first?" he asked. I was glad for the change in topic, so I shook my hands out under the table to get rid of my tension. I sighed as I responded.

"Potions. Why?"

"Me too. I'll walk with you," he said as he grabbed his bag off the floor and stood up. We still had a few minutes left of breakfast, but since I was already finished eating, I agreed. And anyway, I didn't want to be around Nott any longer than I had to be.

Leaving the hall, I breathed a sigh of relief, not even realizing that I was holding it in.

"Sorry about him," said Mattheo. "He's kind of a dick sometimes."

I scoffed.

"Yeah that's one way of putting it."

Mattheo stopped walking as he stood to face me. His hands were in the pockets of his blazer, letting his bag hand loosely off his left shoulder.

"He can be like that sometimes, but he's really nice once you get to know him."

I made a noise of disbelief as I crossed my arms over my chest. How good of a friend could a house supremacist be? Did he learn nothing from the years of war that raged on in the wizarding world? Did he not understand that the only way we even won was by working together and getting rid of the notion of blood superiority altogether?

Merlin, had he not heard the story of what happened to Enzo's parents?

"Don't think he'll be happy to know I'm a half-blood, I assume."

Mattheo's eyes squeezed shut as he bowed his head down. He huffed as he ran a hand down his face.

"God, he's not a blood supremacist. He just has too much pride in himself."

I nodded.

"That much I figured," I muttered as I began to walk again. Mattheo seemed nice, I just didn't want to hear him justify his friend's actions. I didn't care if he was nice. All I cared about was that he was talking down on my friends. People who took me in when I had nobody.

Mattheo sped up a bit, jogging to catch up to me. His shoulder brushed mine as we trekked along the hallways, looking into classrooms to find the correct one.

"And for the record - I like your friends. Never really spoken to them, but Harry does seem nice," he said, breaking the silence.

"He is," I stated simply before stopping in front of the potions room.

It was down in the dungeons, the dark stone walls letting little heat enter in that particular section of the castle. It didn't help that it was underwater, either. My hands rubbed up and down my arms, my robe providing little warmth against the gusts of subtle wind.

Mattheo leaned against the wall beside the door, studying me.

My arms were still tightened across my chest, and my eyes avoided contact with his. Something about being alone with him felt different. Last night I had no issue looking directly at him, but in the silence of the dungeons, I felt more intimidated.

"I get it. You're protective of your friends, but they're not exactly saints either."

My eyes hesitantly lifted up, meeting his brown irises. What was that supposed to mean?

"How would you know?"

He sighed, looking down at his feet. "Let's just get inside. Class is about to start."

I was about to object, but as I saw more and more students marching across the hallways, I decided he was right. As if on cue, the bell rang to signify the start of lectures. I guess I'd have to pry him for answers at a later time.

I sighed as I sat down at a random desk, only to be surprised when Mattheo bumped against me. He adjusted himself on the stool as he dropped his bag down.

"You don't mind, right?"

Truthfully, I was a bit happy he sat next to me. It would be nice to have a friend as my partner. A lot of the class was full of Slytherins - and as I stated before, I didn't have many Slytherin friends.

"As long as you don't make me fail the class."

His face broke out into a smile as he sucked his teeth. He looked forward to the front of the class.

"I'm amazing at potions."

I felt doubt rise in my chest. I gave him a skeptical 'mhm', telling him that I'll believe it when I see it. He clearly took it as a challenge. The emotion behind his eyes changed as he stared me down, smirking.

My nerves grew as he continued to look at me even when Professor Snape entered the classroom, only breaking the eye contact when he began the roll call.

My heart thrummed against my ribcage. In the small amount of space that we had at our desk, our knees were brushing against each other. I would move away, but every few seconds I'd forget and my knee would bump against his again.

All I got in response was a bump back. We were practically playing footsie under the table, but with our knees.

Snape began to do theory and we opened our books to the first chapter. It was revision of the most common potion ingredients, including the basics - Wolfsbane, African Sea Salt, Bat Wings, and Asphodel. This was what I was good at. Amazing even. What I didn't expect was for Mattheo to be just as good.

"What can act as an antidote for most poisons, with the exception of Basilisk venom," came Snape's monotonous voice.

My hand sprung up in the air, but Mattheo beat me to it.

"Yes, Mr.Riddle?"

"Bezoar."

'Suck up,' I thought. It was slightly hypocritical of me to think that, but my pride got the best of me. Especially when people were just as good at something as I was.

"Correct. 10 points to Slytherin."

I huffed in annoyance as my hand went back down, continuing to take down notes. I felt a nudge next to me only to see a piece of paper slide towards me.

'What's the problem? Mad that I'm better than you?'

Rolling my eyes, I shoved the page back to him. I muttered under my breath at him.

"As if."

I could hear him chuckle from beside me as he crumpled the parchment up. His quill flickered around as he wrote notes down, a small smile still etched onto his face.

"What is a common ingredient used in a Wiggenweld Potion?"

I had heard the question, but upon seeing Mattheo's hand raise up yet again, my eyes drifted to him. My eyes narrowed and I sent him a nasty look as I waited for Snape to call on him.

However, Snape called my name instead upon seeing me glare at Mattheo. My faze flickered away from him to look at the Professor. Ignoring the smug look on my potion partner's face, I responded.

"Billywing Sting Slime."

"...Correct. But next time, I'd appreciate you paying attention."

Mattheo snickered from beside me and I kicked his leg under the table, shutting him up immediately.

This was going to be a long year.

After finishing the double Potions lesson, Mattheo and I left Snape's classroom. He would not shut up about the fact that his potions knowledge was as good as mine. He bragged and bragged until I finally had enough. Pulling out my potions book, I hit his shoulder with it.

"Mattheo will you shut up!" I exclaimed. While my voice was angry, I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face.

His hand came to pinch at my cheeks.

"So cute when you're mad," he said. It's as if he knew it would annoy me more. My cheeks tinted pink as I looked away quickly.

"Why did I even let you sit next to me?" I asked rhetorically, huffing as I sped my pace up.

Mattheo's feet quickened to catch up to me. His arm came to rest around my shoulders, his other hand coming up to mess with my hair. Through my ruffled strands I could make out Hermione and Ron, walking hand in hand.

They stopped in front of me, watching the scene unfold.

Shit. This could not end well.

#college!au #mutual pining #hurt/comfort #eventual smut #friends to lovers #mattheo riddle angst #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle headcanon #mattheo riddle fluff #mattheo riddle imagine #mattheo x reader #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle smut #mattheo riddle #mattheoxreader #mattheo riddle fanfic #mattheo riddle scenarios #harry potter fanfic #enzo berkshire #theo nott #harry potter imagine #harry potter #hermione granger #ron weasley #ginny weasley #blaise zabini #pansy parkinson #draco malfoy #harry potter fanfiction #matheo riddle

[theosconfessions]

if youd like to read the stephens from the beginning you can over here :)

if youd like to read the stephens continued you can over here:)

@ohsosims

blake- im just saying shes obsessed with me and you need to talk to her. get her to stop. all im hearing is shit from the guys now..instead of football its like hey did you bang her too. its a whole thing

river-goddamnit youre so cute,ted

blake- riv ! are you hearing anything im saying

river: i am but im having a hard time sympathizing with it to be honest,man

blake - we were broken up man

river: i know. im not faulting you for having a fling with someone. the issue isnt that. i did it too. the problem is it was SID. and you knew that was her boyfriend

blake- you dontknow the whole story man. it was more on the level than you think

river- i dont want to know the whole story. because its probably going to make you look like an asshole.and we're in a good place now,right? we have teddie.we are getting a new house finally. we're in a good place

blake: i know but its just irritating me that she has this way to speak what she said happened and i dont

river- i may be pulling a my dad here but i do not want to know if it was anything more than what she saying. you did something shitty. youre owning it now. leave it where it lies, man seriously. like just take the hit. you did something shitty because of who it was with . she has the right to be upset about it no matter how 'on the level ' it was. like just man up blake . we're 22 years old. like grow the fuck up. im putting him to bed

blake- riv

river- dude if you followed me in here to fight..no

blake-i followed you in here to say youre right. i was kinda like makign excuses for the things ive done and i dont want to do that. i dont want to be another version of your dad so youre right. and ill just.. keep my mouth shut.

river- im not saying keep your mouth shut. but probably..possibly..maybe find it in yourself to maybe apologize to scarlett. you literally have never done it

blake- theres no way she'll give me the time of day man. shes hard to talk to . as soon as i walk in the room she walks out

river- well again, you slept with her boyfriend. id do the same. HELL i do the same whenever im at your games and that prick comes up to me. text her. just apologize. youre going to be in eachothers lives even if i divorce you

blake- [laughs] looking into the future

river: [winks] little bit. now get out so i can put ted to bed

#river is on hundred percent picking up on the same i dont want to hear it that his father has with theo #which ultimately always comes back and hurts him #but blakes just in his fits because he thinks scarletts not telling the whole truth and scar could care less to spare his feelings fr #she hatesss this guy so much #probably more than dusty lol #the stephens continued #river stephens #blake donovan #teddie stephens #the sims 4 #ts4 #the sims #ts4 gameplay #sims 4 #ts4 simblr #the sims community #ts4 community #the sims 4 community #the sims 4 gameplay #sims 4 screenshots #my sims #simblr

[leavemeslowly]

Autobiography of Red

Pairing: Eddie Horniman x Susie Glass

Wordcount: 1,597

Warnings: Explicit, +18, Smut, Masturbation, Emotionally Repressed, Sad Ending, Crying, Possessiveness, Dirty Talk, Did I mention it is sad?

Summary: "I will never know how you see red and you will never know how I see it."* The London Eye stood still at this ungodly hour. Susie was alone in her apartment but hoped she wasn't.

Susie was not an early bird, but she was forced to become one. She would rather nap for a bit longer. Today, she briefly closed her eyes to say goodbye to her nighttime sleep. The last moment of peace was not given because her mind unhelpfully supplied the daily schedule. It included lengthy dealings on the farm at Halstead Manor. They also included a particular ex-military, aristocratic soldier. The thirteenth Duke of Halstead.

She buried herself deeper under the sheets and remembered how they danced in the living room of the manor. The lingering touches, subtle glances and drinking more and more just to loosen up and not bother with the consequences of all the exchanged gestures.

The next day, Eddie asked her what she was still doing there as if he had not led her to a bedroom on the first floor and had not helped her out of her shoes. She remembered the kiss left on her forehead. Remembered how his fingers slipped down her bare arm sticking out from under the sheets.

Susie was on the edge of asking him to stay, rest his head on the other pillow, and embrace her body, before she completely forget what it means to be close to another person. But, she shut her mouth tightly. Her eyes closed and she heard doors closed behind Eddie.

It was time for daydreams to end. Susie stared for a moment at the London Eye, which stood still at this ungodly hour.

Later, she bit her lip, walking in front of her vast closet, and trying to decide what to wear. She thought about a nice three-piece suit in deep navy. On some days, she just needed an extra boost of confidence to cover up her uncertainty and doubts.

The clothes had to speak for her, wordlessly explaining that Susie was qualified to do what she did and that she was an authority in her own right without her dad having the last word. She is not a blind follower of his rules, but she is their maker, too. Susie is writing them in wet ink, and whoever disobeys her ends up with her pen sticking out of his eye.

She smirked, picturing her future enemies punished through that unconventional method. There is always space to refine one's game.

Nevertheless, she moved her sight to the other part of her closet, where various shirts were hung. She has not worn silk for a while now. Her collection was too diverse to let it lie unused.

She took a moment longer to consider her options and switched to choosing a lingerie set. Of course, today, there was no need to fuss with anything too frivolous. One of the white drawers hid her plain but comfortable bras, which she would wear on a daily basis.

A plain Skims set would do the work, but once she had it on, she felt too casual, so mediocre that her skin started to itch as if it wanted to be peeled off. The set blended with her pale skin tone and made her smoother, almost perfect. Only freckles splattered on her legs and arms betrayed an extra layer of material on her body.

Her resourcefulness, more often than not, was a hindrance to fulfilling her own needs.

Susie turned back to the drawers and opened another one. The contests of it, their textures, colours, and variety of patterns differed diametrically. She gently slid her fingers through them and stopped on the dark burgundy set.

Her mind drifted to the day they stole a green Lamborghini, and it almost backfired spectacularly. She also remembered what she wore on that day, a red suit with a belt tightly wrapped around her waist. A few buttons of the shirt were left open to counterbalance the heavy material. Her black hair was falling in curls down her arms. That was one of her most successful outfits to date, but she would never suspect another impact it had.

Eddie had never stared at her this intensely, this darkly. She felt his eyes on her, but he was not persistent in confirming their decision or agreeing on something. On that day, he was sliding his gaze down her arms, cleavage, and thighs. How could he think she did not feel it?

A thrill of excitement ran down her spine whenever she caught him looking everywhere but not directly into her eyes. She was not intimidated, but her light complexion blushed prominently under her makeup. He might be obvious, but she did not have to be.

She took the burgundy set out of the drawer. She slipped out of boring Skims and slowly, savouring this moment, put on thin, heavily laced panties. Then she fastened her balcony bra behind the back and finally clipped the garter belt in its place. Her light skin was picking through meshed insertions. Standing in front of the mirror, Susie slowly, almost teasingly, dragged her hands down to be sure that everything was smoothed out and in place.

She imagined what Eddie's face would look like now. She would mock him: 'How do you like me now? Am I good enough?'

He would not be embarrassed or lost but rather intrigued, silently watching her while leaning back against the doorframe. Susie would present for him, put her hands behind her neck and raise her hair to uncover more of a scandalously white skin. She was anxious to imagine his voice, so he would still be gazing at her reflection in the mirror.

'Come closer, Eddie. Don't be a stranger.'

He would move only with her permission. Before stopping right behind her, he would shed his black jacket and drop it off on the sofa in the middle of the closet. Eddie would gently grab her arms and put them down. His fingers would dig into her arms as if he was ensuring she was real, all his to touch and hold.

'Susan, darling' His deep and rough voice whispered straight to her ear would make her legs tremble, so he had to ground her and embrace her unsteady body. `Do you want me to watch you?'

Susie would shut her eyes, suddenly embarrassed by his hands roaming down her tight stomach.

'Yes, Eddie, if you like it.’ She whispered shyly.

His response was a pained groan and his hands squeezing her ass under the lace. Susie would moan loudly responding to his possessive marking of her body.

`I fucking love it, baby. Show me that you love it, too. I know you want to.' She nodded and rested the back of her head on his chest while her manicured nails skimmed down her stomach and under the lace of her panties. `Tell me how it feels, love. I need to know if you feel good.'

Susie would be pulsing and hot, sweat forming on her hairline. She would open her lips and breathe out shakily, letting out the faintest cries of pleasure. His arms would make her hotter and deliciously restrain her movements. Still, his posture would support her like a wall she could rest against when her body was slipping out of her control.

`Open your eyes, Susie.'

On his request, they snapped wide open. He was there, right behind Susie, with one hand delicately cupping her breast. It felt so right that Susie wanted to cry. Her cheeks were bright red, and her lips were swollen from biting into them. Eddie's dark eyes bore into her while she was slowly touching herself.

`Let me help you, please, allow me.'

He did not wait for her permission this time. His large hand slid under hers and she whined as if it was what she craved all along. Susie's nails would dig into his forearm, feeling his increasing movements, his hardness digging into her back and fingers of his other hand sliding into her mouth. She licked around them, promising him the things she intended to do. She felt that for her it was just a matter of a few more flicks of his fingers.

`Let go for me, Susie.' He was mumbling into her neck now, lips lightly brushing against it. Her reflection in the mirror was dishevelled, her hips bucking into his touch. `Next time, we will do it against this mirror. With London behind our backs. With your tits pressed to the mirror and your lipstick spread across it.'

Susie nodded, hearing these words. They were vulgar and tempting, and she knew they could not be real. Those were her darkest, deepest fantasies. Eddie's black eyes were staring at her now, and she was on the edge of falling.

`Then, I will do what you want me to. In your bed, I will take care of you, Susie. We will fuck nice and slow. You will fall in love with me and maybe not feel so lonely and pathetic.'

Susie rapidly turned her back to the mirror and fell on the floor. She remained there for several minutes, shaking and breathing hard. Tears were burning her eyes, but Susie could not let them fall. She will not let her stupid dreams and fantasies ruin her picture-perfect image.

Finally, when she calmed down, she raised her head. Just as before, the London Eye was standing still.

Susie stood up and changed into Skims. Then, she put on the first clothes she found in her wardrobe.

On her way out, Susie threw the burgundy set into the bin.

*Quote by Anne Carson. The title is also taken from one of her books.

Notification list:

@omgpurpleann @cult-of-escapism @simp-ly-writes @bass41ife @theamazinggracie

@nonbinary-blog @leksii @dont888 @starflame

@booklover1814 @exxodusmo @afangirlfandom @your-mums-nuts @coffee-and-casefiles

@kassa-stardust @romanogers @crescendoofstars @sglassxblog

@wintress1989 @mesillusionssousecstasy @gabbyabby89 @beautifultragedygiver @pitrsattabhaadmeinjao

#the gentlemen #eddie x susie #susie glass #eddie horniman #sad quote #heartache #ff #fanfic #fanfiction #spilled ink #horniglass #kaya scodelario #theo james #smut #angst #tension #sad ending #hurt no comfort #netflix #tv show #tv series #otp #i ship it

[shion-yu]

A Safe Place (part 1) [Day 28]

Cliff shows up at Elliot's doorstep in the middle of the night soaked to the bone. A Cliff/Elliot sickfic heavy on the angst, also ft. Theo. For @monthofsick Day 28: Chaotic body temperature. I know, not me joining in on a writing challenge right at the end but it fit so well. 3,065 words, original work, TWs for homophobia, emeto (neither strong warnings, but the sick will get much sicker in p2).

It had been a long summer. Cliff had spent it working at Theo's law firm again, except this time he wasn't an unpaid intern but a legal secretary. It was a temporary job that they had offered him when his summer break had aligned perfectly with one of the secretary's maternity leaves and Cliff had jumped at the chance to work in such a great environment again. He was happy to see many familiar faces from last year, and to his surprise they were happy to see him too. Although he was mainly working with one of the other partners this time - not Theo - he saw the lawyer nearly every day and was relieved to learn both Theo and his partner, Al, were in good health. Al had gotten a double lung transplant that last Fall, Theo told Cliff. He and his new lungs were doing great. 

"What about you?" Theo asked Cliff eagerly. "How did your first year at NYU go?" 

Cliff smiled, automatically thinking of Elliot. "It was great," he said. "My classes were interesting but not too hard."

"You look happier," Theo said, surprising Cliff with how true the observation was. "Did something cause that?" 

"Yeah," Cliff said thoughtfully. "Someone did."

Being apart from Elliot that summer was difficult. He missed hugging and kissing Elliot every single day. He wanted to talk to him on the phone for hours and hours just to hear his voice and fall asleep with his fingers in Elliot’s curls. But when he was living at home, Cliff knew he had to be the perfect, straight laced child he'd been raised as. In other words, he couldn't be himself. He wore business attire to work every day, but the soft sweaters and cute hair clips he'd amassed over the past year stayed packed away in his college stuff for next semester. He didn't think his parents would appreciate those particular fashion choices he'd been making.

It's not like his parents made it hard to hide things. They hardly ever asked questions, and if they did it was about grades or tuition. Cliff knew he was incredibly lucky that his parents paid his entire tuition, room and board as if it were a given. Elliot's parents weren't able to help much financially, meaning his boyfriend had to take out loans and work part time while in school. This summer he was working nonstop in his dad's auto mechanic shop, saving up money. Often when Cliff video called Elliot these days he was covered in sweat, streaks of black motor oil on his face. It seemed wrong to complain about his parents when it was thanks to them that he was only working this summer because he wanted to, not because he had to. And yet, silently, Cliff  thought maybe he'd be happier if he was in Elliot's shoes - without much money but with a place he could really call home. It was a selfish, privileged thought and Cliff refused to voice it, but it creeped in each time he heard Elliot's mom call in the background, "Boys, wash up, it's time for dinner!" 

Working was a blessing to Cliff, because if he'd been at home he would've been in that big, lonely house all by himself most of the summer. Being at the law firm was not only a distraction, but comfortable. Despite wearing a suit, Cliff actually felt less tense there than at his parents' house. He stayed long hours, longer than he needed to, because he preferred the sound of printers and fax machines over his parents screaming at each other downstairs. When he was in high school it seemed easier to ignore. Maybe it was because he'd had a break for so many months that returning to it seemed worse than before. Or maybe it was because Elliot never screamed at him like that, and Cliff had started to realize that this wasn't how things had to be.

Around the beginning of August, Cliff caught a cold that didn't seem to go away. At first it was just the sniffles, and then it was a cough that grew progressively deeper with each week that passed. The other employees started asking him if he was alright, and embarrassingly Theo caught him staring blankly at the water fountain one day for far too long. Cliff was so out of it that he didn't even notice Theo calling his name until the older man waved his hand in Cliff's face.

"Oh," Cliff said, rubbing his eyes to try and make his blurry vision clear up. "Sorry, I was just... Daydreaming." 

"You look pale," Theo said, and before Cliff could step back Theo had placed a hand on Cliff's forehead while ignoring Cliff's protest that he was fine. "Hmm, you feel a little feverish. Why don't you go home, kid?" 

"I'm really fine," Cliff said, wildly embarrassed. "It's just a cold."

Theo looked him up and down, clearly assessing how pushy he should be. "At least go take a nap on the couch in my office, you look exhausted."

Usually, Cliff would say no immediately. He wouldn't even consider showing weakness at the place he was supposed to be making a vitally good impression at for his career. But he felt weak and a little dizzy and found himself saying in a small voice, "...If you're sure." 

Theo was sure. He brought Cliff to his office and shut the blinds so there wasn't much light coming through the many glass windows. He even tossed a blanket to the eighteen-year-old. "I sleep here all the time," he reassured Cliff. "You can't work if you're too tired to think. Don't worry about it." 

Cliff felt guilty for taking over Theo's office, but Theo headed out for a two hour meeting and Cliff was left alone on the couch. He had half a mind to leave and get back to work at his desk now that there was no one stopping him, but just sitting there made him realize how fatigued his whole body felt. A little nap wouldn't hurt, he reasoned. A really short one. He lay down and fell asleep so quickly that he didn't even remember closing his eyes. 

He woke up to Theo gently rubbing his shoulder. Cliff was confused, then his eyes widened in embarrassment and he sat up. Shit, had it been two hours already? Wait, that clock didn't say 5pm did it? - surely he hadn't slept for four hours?! 

"Woah, it's okay Cliff," Theo said quickly, "You seemed really tired so I let you sleep. You should go home now, everybody's leaving for the day." 

"I'm so sorry," Cliff gushed, face bright red. "I didn't mean to sleep so long. You don't have to pay me for today - please don't, actually." 

"Settle down, it's really fine," Theo said in a calm voice that made Cliff remember to take a deep breath like Elliot had taught him to calm down. "We all have off days. You don't feel so warm now, so that's good. Stay home tomorrow though." 

"That's totally not necessary," Cliff said, his confident tone supplemented by a very unconvincing round of dry coughs. He waved off the tissues Elliot tried to hand him. "Really, I'm fine. I've just been having some asthma since I got sick last winter, but my boy-" Cliff stopped himself, realizing he was about to out himself. "My, um, my roommate got me an inhaler so I just have to use it that's all." 

"Your boyfriend," Elliot supplied gently. "It's okay to say it, Cliff. You know I have Al." 

Cliff wanted to deny the comment outright. He wanted to laugh and say Elliot really was just a friend. But Theo had such an earnest expression, and he was the only successful adult man Cliff knew of who was gay. "I know, but, it's really not, not for me," Cliff found himself saying, voice wavering. "I-I have to go. Sorry I slept in your office so long," he said as he hurried out, ignoring Theo's all too kind voice calling after him. Cliff knew in a certain world that it was okay, but it wasn't his world. Not the world where he still relied on his parents. 

Despite saying he'd be back the next day, Cliff did stay home that Friday. His fever was worse and he had chills that left him huddled under the covers. His mom didn't notice he didn't leave the house and he didn't tell her. She didn't need to know, just like she didn't need to know about Elliot. She had never supported Cliff in anything at all, so why... Why did Cliff feel such a strong urge to tell her? 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

On the last day of Cliff's work at the law firm, Theo told Cliff if he ever needed a reference, he'd get a glowing one from him. And if he ever needed to talk about anything, anything at all, Cliff could call him too. Cliff knew what he was getting at, and he didn't want to face it. But Theo was such a calm person that it was disarming, and Cliff asked without meaning to, "Is it worth it?" 

Theo nodded. He knew what Cliff meant without specification. "Yes, it's worth it," Theo said. "Even if there's nay-sayers and you lose people, you gain much more. It's always worth it to be exactly who you are, Cliff."

Cliff went back to his parents house with those words echoing in his brain. Theo, a successful and respected lawyer, said it was worth it. He had a career and a person who loved him by his side. Was that something Cliff could have, too? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be honest, just once?

"Mom," Cliff said over dinner, pushing his phone over to her with a picture of him and Elliot together on the screen. "I want to tell you something. This is my-"

"Don't do this to me Cliff," his mother interrupted before he could finish. "You've already caused enough trouble. He's not - just because you have a thing with another guy doesn't mean anything."

"It's not a thing mom. I love him," Cliff found himself saying angrily. And oh, why did he say that? The first time he finally said he loved Elliot and it was directed at his mom in spite. It wasn't supposed to be like this. 

"Cliff, you don't love him. You're too old to be playing this game. Now I'll forget we had this conversation. And don't tell your father."

Cliff saw red. He'd never been so angry in his life. He snatched his phone back and grabbed his wallet on the shelf by the door and went outside. She didn't follow him. 

It was pouring rain. Cliff shivered, wishing he'd had the forethought to grab a coat too, but he wasn't going to ruin his dramatic exit by going back inside. Of course his mother hadn't approved. Cliff hadn't expected her to. But he'd expected her to get angry - not to dismiss him all together like he was just a kid with a big imagination. Cliff knew then that she would never really think of him as his own person, and he couldn't do anything to change that. It broke his heart. 

Cliff walked for a very long time. He didn't quite know where he was going, only that he wanted to get as far away from that house as possible. He found himself at a park by the water where he beat up a couple of tree trunks that definitely won based on his bleeding knuckles afterwards. The rain didn't let up, and Cliff found himself getting progressively colder. His cough from earlier that month had never gone away and his breath began to catch on what felt like a dry patch in his throat. Cliff realized then that he'd left his inhaler at the house, too. The coughing grew more desperate until he pitched forward and vomited onto the grass he was standing on. He groaned and leaned against the nearest tree he could find, the contents of his stomach mixing with rushing rain water and swept away quickly. He continued to gag for several minutes until the coughing abated ever so slightly. He felt weak and pathetic. And also very, very alone.

He needed to get somewhere dry. Somewhere warm and safe. Cliff only had one place like that in mind. He boarded train after train, shivering in the corner like a wet dog as he made his way all the way to Long Island. He knew Elliot's address because he'd been sending Elliot mail all summer, little love notes and presents that made Cliff think of him. He never included a return address though, because he hadn't wanted his parents to see. Thankfully his phone had enough battery to direct him to Elliot's doorstep despite the wet four hour commute, and he found himself at the front door of a modest suburban home at 3:30 in the morning. 

The journey had felt like a daze. Cliff had never done something so erratic, so unplanned. He raised his hand to knock before remembering what time it was, and Elliot had parents and sister who probably wouldn't appreciate him knocking. He called Elliot instead, his phone barely hanging on at 5%. He thought to himself that it seemed unlikely that Elliot would answer at this time of night. But after several rings, by which time Cliff had resigned himself to waiting for dawn under a tree, a very sleepy voice picked up. 

"Cliff?"

"Elliot? Sorry to bother you," Cliff said, as if this entire situation weren't incredibly bizarre. "But I'm at your door."

There was a long pause, presumably while Elliot tried to figure out exactly what Cliff meant by 'at your door'. "Like right now? Now?" 

"Yeah," Cliff said. "Do you think I could sleep over?" 

"I'm coming down," Elliot said, and there was the rustling of sheets and then the thump of footsteps as Elliot ran downstairs. The front door opened and Elliot hung up. Cliff looked at him and thought he was the most beautiful person in the entire world. "Holy crap, you're really here," Elliot breathed. "God Cliff, what happened? No, come in first, you're soaked..."

Elliot pulled Cliff inside and helped Cliff take off his soaked trainers. There were traces of vomit on the front of his shirt and his fingers were still bloody. Elliot brought him to the bathroom, motioning for Cliff to stay quiet with one finger to his lips. He grabbed a towel from under the sink and wrapped it around the shorter boy, who was shivering violently from the marked change in temperature. In the bright light of the kitchen, suddenly his journey seemed a lot less valiant and a lot more stupid. "Sit," Elliot said, sitting Cliff on the toilet. "You're freezing... Can you take your temperature?”

Elliot handed Cliff a thermometer, which Cliff obediently used. After a few seconds it beeped and read ‘96.9.’ Elliot frowned. “Hot shower, okay?" Despite being woken up in the middle of the night, Elliot seemed fully alert. Cliff nodded and peeled off his wet and dirty clothes. He coughed roughly as he did so, a slight wheeze audible on the end of the exhale. Elliot patted his back with a concerned expression. "Do you have your inhaler?" Cliff shook his head no. Elliot grimaced and ran the hot water for Cliff. "You warm up. I'm gonna find you some clothes and I think there's an old inhaler somewhere in the medicine cabinet..."

Elliot moved to leave, but Cliff grabbed his arm before he could go. "Don't wake your family up," Cliff said hoarsely. "I'm okay." 

Elliot looked at Cliff in concern and sighed. "Cliff, you just showed up soaking wet in the middle of the night. You live all the way in Newark. I'm gonna be a little concerned. But right now you need to warm up. We can talk later."

"Okay," Cliff said. He took the hottest shower of his life then, and it felt glorious. After a few minutes he started to feel dizzy though and sat on the floor of the tub. Elliot came back and peeked around the curtain, frowning when he saw Cliff sitting there. 

"Are you awake?" Elliot asked worriedly. 

"Hmm," Cliff hummed in confirmation. "Just feels nice, and I got sleepy." 

"Finish up in there," Elliot said. "I've got sweats and a hot water bottle and bed waiting for you." 

Cliff obediently finished showering and sat on the edge of the tub as Elliot dried him off thoroughly with two big, fluffy towels. Cliff closed his eyes and remembered how many times he'd imagined being together again over the summer. "I missed you so much," Cliff said, resting his face on Elliot's abdomen. 

Elliot stilled and crouched in front of Cliff. "I missed you too," he said softly. "Now arms up." Elliot helped Cliff get into the warmest sweats that he owned and then led Cliff upstairs to his bedroom. The house was quiet, and Cliff hoped that meant he hadn't disturbed anyone else's sleep. He glanced around curiously at Elliot's childhood bedroom, which was decorated in a way that seemed so very Elliot. He smiled at the teddy bear sitting on the dresser that Cliff had bought Elliot at the baseball game they'd been to. It brought back good memories, nothing like the ones that had been swirling around in Cliff's head for the past several rainy hours. 

"Bed," Elliot whispered, tucking Cliff under the duvet and several extra blankets. Cliff was still shivering, but less so now. His temperature had blown from low numbers to high and he gazed at Elliot with glassy, feverish eyes. Elliot handed Cliff a very expired albuterol inhaler, which Cliff took a few puffs of. Despite the date stamped on the canister, it still eased the tightness in Cliff's chest a little. Elliot then climbed in next to him and wrapped his arms around Cliff. The feeling and smell of being enveloped by Elliot after all this time brought Cliff to tears and he hid his face. 

“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “I know I should have called.”

"It’s okay,” Elliot said. “Sleep, Cliff. We can talk tomorrow.” Knowing he was finally in the only place he truly felt safe, Cliff slept.

[Cont. part 2]

#shionwrites #novemetober rescheduled #whump #sickfic #sicknario #tw: emeto #tw: homophobia #prompt: chaotic body temperature #novemetober 2023 #oc: cliff #oc: theo #oc: elliot #fever whump #hurt/comfort #angst #hypothermia #pneumonia

[khawlat]

I wanted you dead.

#fuck you freddy for breaking eddies heart like that #the hurt in his eyes :( #this was a very good scene #might've been slightly mad it got cut too short #we needed more real scenes like that #theo james #eddie horniman #the gentlemen

[lesbiradshaw]

thiam hospital parking lot argument is so personal to me because it clearly showcases how theo’s way of lashing out at liam is to remind him that he hasn’t changed at all and liam’s way of trying to hurt him back is saying that he already knows. which just hits so good because at this point we’re beginning to see that theo has changed whether he wants to admit it or not. right before they get into this argument, theo (in his own way) warns liam off of the idea that he can be trusted, which is something that the old theo would have never done. he would have taken advantage of it. as the rest of the episode plays out it becomes obvious that theo’s threat to leave liam behind was an empty one. as for liam only seeing theo for the monster he was before his resurrection— i think the desperation on his face as he tries to claw his way out of the elevator speaks for itself.

#the way they BOTH look hurt in the parking lot scene 😭😭😭 like OKAYYYY we get it youre gay #the brainrot is back (it never left) #blaming dsprayberry. 6.09 really was one for the books. #thiam #theo raeken x liam dunbar #theo x liam #theo/liam #teen wolf #6.09 memory found

[emizelslighter]

I'LL NEVER LET THEM HURT YOU (I PROMISE)

#jrwi suckening #the suckening #emizel tucker #theo jrwi #jrwi emizel #jrwi theo #i forgot his last name #anyway THIS FUCKING SCENE #THE WHOLE TIME\ #I WAS JUST THINGKING OF VAMPIRES WILL NEVER HURT YOU #LITERALLY THE SUCKENING THEME SONG IDC ODC

[cassiopeiasdaughter]

midnight rain

Theodore Nott x fem!reader

part of the midnights collection

December 5th, 1998

Dear Diary,

I feel exhausted. I thought it would be over by now. I don’t think any of us ever expected this to go on for so long.

It started in the summer of ‘97 and 1999 is right around the corner. No, maybe not in 1997; it started many years ago, before I was born, before most people in this house were born. It must end soon and right this time. For good.

No more hatred, violence. We can’t let that happen again. I refuse to live in a world like that.

Last week was a nightmare. We were sent to Little Hangleton; a small village where the first Horcrux was created. We didn't find much, I remember Draco complaining about how wasteful the trip was and Hermione shouting at him; I found it funny at first, it brought me back to school but it was different this time.

Now they don’t actually hate eachother and I am sure that if something were to happen, they’d run to help eachother without hesitation. I was so lost in thought, daydreaming about our future; how everything will look like if we make it… and I guess that is why I didn't hear them.

Death Eaters, werewolves, everywhere. They were waiting for us, and they were so many. We were surrounded and had no other choice but to fight.

I was too busy fending off two Death Eaters and I didn’t see Greyback running towards me all bloody and terrifying.

Once I realized what was happening I stood frozen, I physically couldn’t move, I kept begging myself to do something, fight- run- scream- anything. He knocked me down and pushed my body to the ground with his claws. The blood on him was fresh and it got all over me. I couldn’t help but play it in my mind; how he killed the person whose blood was now on me. How he would soon kill me.

I can still feel his weight on my chest, when I am about to sleep, I can feel his breath on my neck and his claws on my shoulder.

I could have been bit, he could have killed me right then, just like he has done to so many people. But, Nott Theo was there and he cast a spell on him, causing him to fly away from me.

Hermione ran to me and we teleported back here. I couldn't speak and Theo kept shouting "Did he bite you?", "Is it your blood?", I just shook my head and locked myself in the shower, scrubbing my skin clean, getting rid of all the blood; of every feeling tied to that place.

I remember now the way the others looked at me, with pity, as if I had lost my mind.

I feel too weak for this war sometimes, like I am not made for something like this, I am not like Ginny or Harry. I am not like Hermione who kept her calm and willed herself to fight.

No one stopped when danger came, they weren’t scared and even if they were; survival kicked in.

The storm outside your window had been slowly calming you down. If you close your eyes you can pretend you are in your bed at Hogwarts, curled up in blankets and listening to the rain tapping on your window. Scottish winters were your favorites, storms always brought a sense of comfort to you, and rain lulled you to sleep.

Now, the crack of thunder scares you so much that the pen flies out of your hand landing somewhere on the desk and you stumble out of your chair, jumping backwards. You need to run, but in which direction? You feel the threat of tears forming in your eyes, but you know that if you let yourself fall down that hole, it won’t be easy to dig yourself out of it.

You look around in despair, begging your mind to find anything to distract yourself and that is when you hear a soft knock on your door.

Before you answer the door you make sure to wipe your tears and fix your hair; to try and look normal. But what is normal now anyways?

You find Hermione with a sympathetic smile; you know that smile. It is a smile she reserves for her friends, when they need help, comfort. You never were on the receiving end of it, it was always Harry or Ginny, sometimes Ron. You hate that now it is your turn to be pitied, taken care of. It feels strange and it makes you uneasy. 

“I brought you soup.” She says with a clam voice and steps inside.

You quickly walk over your desk with her, but close your diary before she can read what you’ve written.

“You didn’t come down to eat, so I figured you’ll be hungry.”, she places the bowl on your desk, by your things and turns to look at you.

You desperately try to avoid her gaze, not wanting to seem more wounded than you are, “Ah- yeah thank you.”, you lie staring at your hands.

She casts a Muffliato, blocking anyone outside the room from listening, before she begins to tell you news from the boys. 

“They managed to destroy two of them, they don’t want us to know more, but they might be heading to Hogwarts soon.”

“Hogwarts? Why?” You ask surprised 

“Uh- Harry is sure there are Horcruxes there. Moody hasn’t allowed it yet, but they will go. I know it.”, 

You nod silently, two Horcruxes down, how many more to go? It took you almost two years for two of them, who knows when the rest will be destroyed. And even if you manage to get rid of them all, how can you be so sure Voldemort will lose? Even without the Horcruxes, he has a whole army, full of deadly wizards and witches to protect him. It would take one order for the werewolves to attack you and kill you.

Tears begin forming in your eyes again; the more you think about the War the more hopeless everything feels. You can’t let Hermione see you ruined; Hermione who has been your closest friend all these years, the one that has managed to stay strong and not back down. You know what she did to her parents, instead of running with them she stayed. She bears the most danger but she still hasn’t lost hope; she continues fighting. No, you can’t let her see you break down, you owe her that. 

You look around the room to avoid her gaze once again when your eyes land on a brown coat, discarded on a chair, in the corner of the room. It is the coat Theo gave you that night on the porch, you still haven’t given it back. What better time to do that than now, when you so desperately need to avoid Hermione before you drop to your knees and cry in front of her.

Immediately, you run and grab the coat and turn to Hermione with an apologetic look on your face “I am so sorry, I need to give Nott this, before I forget it. He let me borrow it a few weeks ago.”, you say and take fast strides towards the door, while also guiding/kicking her out of your room. 

Once you are both out you head towards his room while also shouting behind your shoulder “I love you, we’ll talk later.”

While clutching the wool on your hands to ground you, you stop outside Theos room. You remember the time, it must be a few minutes past midnight by now, and the rain hasn’t calmed one bit, lightning lights up the cold corridor through the windows.

You knock a few times, telling yourself that if he doesn’t answer you’ll leave and smoke another of Lunas cigarettes to ease your mind. Maybe you’ll try one of the cookies she’s been begging you to taste…

The door opens as you begin to curse yourself for causing this much trouble in just one night, and a sleepy red-eyed Theo stands in front of you confused.

You force an apologetic smile and hold out his coat in front of him “Sorry for waking you up, I wanted to return this.”

He takes it off of your hands “Ah- it’s ok, thank you.”

He doesn’t make a move to close the door and head inside his room, and you don’t turn around to leave. You both stare at eachother silently and wait for the other person to do something.

The sound of thunder scares you both and as you jump a little he grabs your arm as if preventing you from falling.

“It’s really loud tonight, isn’t it? And it has been going on for ages.”, he says awkwardly

“Yes. I hate it.”, you say and look around nervously

“You uh- want to come inside?”

“Don’t you want to go back to sleeping?”, you ask him

“I- no I wasn’t sleeping, I can’t”,he replies awkwardly

So you nod and step inside. The room is dark and messy. The curtains are drawn over the windows, shielding him from the outside world and the only thing lighting the space is the old lamp by his bed.

It feels cold, just like the Slytherin Common Room, in the depths of the Great Lake. As your eyes move towards his bed you spot old photos of him and his housemates, no not just any housemates, his friends and Blaise.

You look into his face again and observe how his cheeks are glistening, his eyes aren’t red because he is tired, he was crying. 

He quickly cleans up the bed and throws a couple of pillows on the floor to sit there. He looks at you expectantly and gives you a boyish smile which you return as you sit opposite to him, crossing your legs and resting your hands on your knees, while he leans his back on the bed.

A few minutes of silence pass, crucial for both of you to adjust to this new situation. Alone, in a dark bedroom, obviously seeking comfort and solace in eachother, and also needing a space to hide from the outside world.

“Than-” “Are you-?” You say at the same time and then let out an awkward laugh.

“You first.”, Theo says

“Thank you for Little Hangleton, I haven’t seen you since then. I owe you.”

He scratches the back of his head as he remembers the battle, Greyback, your look afterwards.

“How are you, after that- after everything?” A sincere question that stabs your insides slowly.

“I” you laugh awkwardly “I am fine, others have had it worse” your best friend was killed in front of you you want to say, but instead settle for an “I will be fine.”

“Tsk” he mutters “Don’t do that, don’t act like it was nothing, I was there.”

“Well, we are fighting in a war, we know things like that are prone to happen.”

“You can never prepared when they happen to you.”, you know he is right but you can’t let yourself accept it.

“But nothing happened, he didn’t do anything to me. You knocked him off me before he-”, you can’t say the words and need a minute to take a breath.

“I know”, he says 

“I am safe.” you say with a loud voice and the threat of tears in your eyes

“I know” he says again with a calm voice, his eyes never leaving yours.

His gentleness is what causes you to break. And it is because behaviors like his don’t belong in these times. His voice; filled with the promise of safety and warmth is what you crave most; and the second you realize it is nothing but an illusion, a daydream, you break down.

You can feel a door, inside your chest bursting open and letting out all the feelings you’ve been keeping to yourself. Anger, sadness, hopelessness; they are all out in the open- making you vulnerable to him. You shut your eyes, not wanting to see the pity on his face, or worse; you’re afraid he now sees you for who you are, a fragile little girl, pretending to be strong and brave.

You are unable to say anything to him, so you wait for him to leave you alone and then pretend this never happened. He doesn’t do anything for the first few seconds, but then you are in his arms and your face is buried in his chest.

He remains silent, not wanting to lie and say “its alright” or “I know how you feel”. He just remains silent and waits for you to let it all out. And that is enough.

By the time you’ve run out of tears the storm has also stopped, leaving you with the soft sound of light rain. 

The realization then, of where you are and who you are with stains your cheeks red and makes your body hot. You slowly raise yourself from Theos chest and before you cry out of embarrassment you say “I am so sorry. I shouldn’t have done that, you shouldn't have seen that.”, with a self-deprecating tone

He gives you a reassuring smile, “It’s alright, you dont have to keep everything inside, you shouldn’t.”

You almost believe him, you want to, but then you see the mess your tears made on his shirt and out of instinct you hide your face in your hands. “Oh Godric, it’s embarrassing.”

He laughs and gently pulls your hands from your eyes, “You aren’t the only one losing her mind over the War.”, he jokes and you laugh, but then he continues with a serious voice

“Every time I sleep, I dream of Blaise, dying, and I can’t help him. Ever. And on the nights I am not able to sleep I can hear those who scream as they wake up, on the other die of the walls.”

“You don’t have to carry it alone, whatever it is.”, he finishes

You fight the urge to cry and softly say“Thank you.” Without thinking you place your hand in his “Then, you dont have to carry it alone either, you can talk to me, whenever you want.”, but suddenly, you feel as if you’re overstepping or getting too close so you pull back and say “If you haven’t already talked to the others, of course.”

He gives you a nod and you can see how his movements have slowed down and his eyes are glassy.

“I am sorry for staying so long, I’ll leave you alone, you must be tired.” You say as you stand up “Thank you again and if you ever need my help, I am a corridor away.”

“Thank you”

“Goodnight.”, you say with a smile and he answers back “Goodnight.”

Returning to your room, you feel as if a weight has been lifted off your chest. Of course, the weight will appear again in the future, but now you know how to get rid of it. You promise yourself to talk to Hermione in the morning. Let her in, and ask her how she is doing.

Under her strong exterior there may be hiding a scared and tired girl too. She must need someone to talk to, you owe her to be that person. Because, you love her and because she is the closest thing you have to a home now. 

You see your diary and remember you never finished what you were writing, you think you want to write about Theo, but whatever it is that happened just then, whatever you are starting to feel right now, is too new. It is so new and fragile that you can’t even write about it in your diary.

It will be alright. I may not be strong right now, I may be scared and breakable but I know that it can be fixed. I just need to focus on the good, whatever is left of it now. I need to focus on the missions and on winning. The faster we win, the sooner I can be okay again. 

It is just another storm, and after the storm rainbows come out.

Thank you for being here for me.

Yours,

But as you begin to write down your name you hear a soft knock on the door. It must be Hermione, you think and prepare yourself for the talk you ought to have and the many apologies you owe her for avoiding her like that.

On the other side of the door however, stands a flushed Theo, wearing his Slytherin sweatshirt and holding his pillow to his chest. “Can I sleep here tonight? I don’t want to be alone.”, he whispers self-consciously and you can’t do anything but let him in.

eat your apples because your future doctors are over here posting self insert fics instead of studying immunology 🤪🤠

this will be continued

also: feedback & criticism are very much appreciated & needed

#theodore nott x reader #theodore nott #theodore nott imagine #theo nott #wizarding war au #slowburn #hurt/comfort

[hoodie-buck]

rated: t | words: 4.7k | read on ao3

summary:

His arms were wrapping around Liam’s neck in a manner that had become all too common for him, Theo pulling Liam in close as bullets began to fly their way.

The elevator doors suddenly got their shit together, closing just as he pulled Liam over the threshold, the two falling into one another, Theo with his back against the wall.

Theo couldn’t hear anything except their combined erratic beating hearts, Liam’s familiar scent filling his nostrils.

It took him, and Liam it seemed, a moment to realize they were tangled up together, one of Theo’s arms still protectively wrapped around Liam, the beta all but in his lap.

Liam quickly shrugged him off and made to stand, beelining for the buttons, his claws tapping at the hold button. Theo stayed where he was, looking up at Liam.

“What’re you doing here?” Liam all but shouted, more freaked out at the situation than angry with Theo.

Theo scoffed. “I was just about to ask myself the same thing.”

—or—

6x20 but with thiam getting that kiss they should’ve had

tagging my thiam wife @honestlydarkprincess 😘 if anyone else is wants to be tagged when i post thiam content, just lmk!

#thiam #thiam fic #theo raeken #liam dunbar #teen wolf #teen wolf fic #thiam fanfic #first kiss #blood and injury #hurt/comfort #idiots in love #kel(s) writing

[mattodore]

you can break, throw yourself away, leave it behind. and, if you need to, you can break me too. you can disappear, but please just take me with you when you go.

#ts4 #ts4 edit #sims 4 #simblr #river dipping #matthias evanoff #theodore doe #echthroi #a burning house to live in #🦇 #this part of the song... aches and aches and aches #the 'i want the parts of you that you only show to the birds outside your bedroom window' line from spiracle seriously almost won out tho #it makes me crazy bc. well if you read theo's questionnaires then You Know. but the rest of the song rlly doesn't fit the vibe of the edit #runner ups were also: watch you sleep by girl in red / i will by mitski / i'm with you by vance joy / nothing's gonna hurt you baby by cas #anyway... #a rare moment wherein matthias catches a break from his insomnia and falls asleep while with theo in the morning #theo is watching the birds outside the window as they land where matthias threw bird seed out just before #ugh... i really like this photo. no resizing on it either (tho i did crop it) so again feel free to zoom <3 #update a full DAY LATER.......... was no one going to tell me i forgot to fix his ass.................. jdknghjdnfghk i fixed it now but #i straight up forgot to recolor his little handfuls black like i did the insides of his shorts... see this is why i shouldn't let #my excitement for edits get ahead of me djghnfkhj always double check your work friends

[crvptidgf]

Bad Blood • pt. III

Mattheo Riddle x Reader

➸ summary: After the Battle of Hogwarts, you find it difficult to let go of the past. Your trauma lies deeper than you think. When when you meet somebody who understands your pain, your journey of self-discovery and healing begins to set sail. For once, everything in your life seems to click.

➸ warnings/notes: reader is of romanian descent, afab! reader, mentions of trauma, descriptions of death and traumatic events, profanity, friends to lovers trope, hurt/comfort, eventual smut (18+), trauma bonding, eventual mutual pining, mentions of the golden trio being dicks for the sake of the story

word count: 2.1k

————————

HALTING MY MOVEMENTS, I felt Mattheo's arm slide away from me. My eyes flicked between his and Ron's eyes.

I steeled myself as I waited with baited breath for somebody to talk first.

I hated always being wary with who I was friends with. No matter if it was a Hufflepuff, Slytherin - whoever. It felt like I always had two sides of myself fighting with each other. I wondered what Hermione thought of me walking side by side with a Riddle.

Merlin. Since when did I care for family reputations?

Ron interrupted the silence. "You coming to lunch with us?"

While I did want to sit with my friends, I also really wanted to go see Enzo again. Theo was a bit annoying, but I enjoyed the other two's company, so I figured I could endure him. My mind was conflicted between my old childhood best friend, and my current friend group.

It didn't help that I was starting to really enjoy being around others like me. Sure Theo was snarky, and Mattheo was a bit cocky, but they understood me a bit better than any of my friends could. Or maybe I was just getting sick of getting left out just because of my house - just because I befriended them too late.

As I've stated, I never truly felt as if I belonged. It wasn't necessarily my friend's fault - but being a Slytherin amongst Gryffindors was hard when everybody blamed your house for the horrors of the war. Sometimes it felt like they were in on some big inside joke that I never understood, and as time went on I realized that I was the butt of it.

To them, I was just a Death Eater waiting to burst out of it's secret shell.

"Me and Mattheo kind of already had plans, sorry. I'll see you guys later tonight though?"

It wasn't necessarily a lie. Enzo did say I could sit with him any time. That counts as having plans, right?

Additionally, Hermione, Ginny, Ron, and Harry invited me to their common room at the end of classes. They had told me on the train that we should visit each other every week to hash out anything new that's happened in our respective classes. Since we didn't share many lessons together anymore we figured that we should have constant hangouts to catch up.

Hermione eyed Mattheo up, a wary look on her face.

"Yeah. See you tonight," she said before pulling Ron away and walking in the opposite direction of us.

I had no idea why she was acting so strange.

I was about to call them back when Mattheo wrapped his arm back around my shoulder and began to drag me to the courtyard. Laughing, I shoved him off of me as his weight was forcing me to lean over in an uncomfortable stance. A stance that made me have to rest my head against his shoulder - not that I minded.

As we sat down on the grass, we waited for the others to arrive. We all had a double class first thing in the morning, so Mattheo texted their groupchat to let them know where we were.

After thinking for a moment, I decided to ask for their numbers. Specifically Mattheo's.

"If we're gonna make this a habit I should probably have your number," I said as I picked at the grass beside me. My eyes looked at anything but him.

Mattheo was leaning back on his elbows. I eventually looked back at him once he didn't respond, only to see him already looking down at me, smiling.

"If you wanted my number you could've just asked," he said cockily.

Rolling my eyes, I leaned back on my elbows next to him.

"Yeah, I just did."

"Touché," he replied as he sat up. He put his hand out as he made a motion. Taking the hint, I gave him my phone. A moment went by, and his number was already in my phone.

I smiled to myself as I added his contact.

"What are you guys so giddy about?" said Enzo as he sat in front of us.

Mattheo and I glanced at each other quickly before looking back at Enzo. He didn't say anything, so I decided to change the topic.

Lunch went by quickly - it was nice to catch up with Enzo finally. Thankfully for me, Theo was hanging out with some other friends. Blaise and Draco I figured. I liked Blaise, he was nice. Draco, however, was a bit of a dick; although I was a bit biased because I was friends with Harry.

I had Herbology and Charms one after another. It felt different than what I was used to, and I found it hard trying to keep track of all the new things we had to learn. I was glad I chose some other easier subjects like Ancient Studies - I always used to read about Ancient civilizations when I was younger.

It was something me and Enzo both loved.

As I walked out of the class, I began to head down to our second lunch. Since I already spent time with my new friends I made the decision to go see Hermione and the others in the Great Hall.

The sound of my text notification sound alerted my attention. Pulling my phone out, I checked who it was.

- - -

- - -

Finally finding my friends, I ran and wrapped my arms around Ginny from behind. She made a noise of surprise before pulling me down to her level and hugging me properly.

"Hey! We missed you this morning," she said.

I smiled at her, hugging her back and resting my arm around her shoulder as I adjusted myself on the bench.

"Yeah sorry I-" I tried to say, but Ron butted in, his mouth full of fries.

"She was with that Riddle guy," he said with a muffled voice.

Hermione slapped his shoulder. "Don't talk with your mouth full, Ronald!" she scolded.

Harry and Ginny looked at each other quickly before they continued eating their lunch. Hermione seemed to sense the tension as she folded her arms across her chest, eyeing Ginny up before looking back to me.

"You should watch who you're friends with," she said.

I all but scoffed at her words. Out of all people I thought they would understand the most. Harry had been judged all his life for various reasons; the Weasleys were poked fun at for having trouble with money - and Hermione had always had assumptions made about her just because she was Muggle-born. Who are they to judge someone based off a family name?

Hermione was assuming the worst of him. She didn't even know him.

Well, neither did I. But I knew he wasn't as bad as people made him out to be. He was incredibly good at potions, he had a sense of humour, he seemed nice...

"Seriously?" I responded.

"She's right, you know," quipped Harry. Of course he agreed with her. He always did.

Sometimes I felt like they were all so much closer to each other than I was with them. In reality, it was quite true . They had known each other since they were 11 - their bond was something unbreakable.

I used to think ours was too, until the summer before college came. Until the Battle of Hogwarts happened; and I saw their prejudice against my house. I would never forget the look in their eyes as they watched me and my house mates get shoo'd to the dungeons - their incredulous looks as I made my way back out to help them in the battle. It was like they were shocked I wasn't a Death Eater all along. The feeling of betrayal never left, but they were my friends, so I stuck by them.

I sighed, standing up.

"Whatever. I just thought it would be nice to befriend Slytherins for once," I said.

Ron made a face, grabbing a chicken wing.

"What would you want with those snakes?" he asked, not realizing his mistake.

My nostrils flared as I narrowed my eyes at him. "I'm one of those snakes."

With that, I trudged out of the Great Hall, my heart pounding in my ears. I couldn't even believe what just happened.

Couldn't they just be happy that I was making friends?

- - -

- - -

My lips quirked up at my phone as I made my way down the hall, trying to find my next classroom.

At this point I felt like I had learned to just cope with Theo's cynical jokes. I was just glad I still had people to hang out with at school. It seemed like my first day wasn't going to plan - not that I minded.

Now I had time to build my rapport with Enzo.

I truly missed him. I never really noticed how much his absence affected me, but now that we were reunited it felt wrong to just walk away from him. We had a lot of catching up to do.

When dinner finally rolled around I wasted no time in fast-walking to the Great Hall. I ignored the looks from the Gryffindor table, unsure if they were going to be scolding me for sitting next to Enzo and the rest, or offering looks of sympathy for the way they acted earlier.

I didn't really care.

Once I reached the Slytherin table I noticed that a few more people joined us. Pansy and Blaise were there, alongside Draco who didn't really make eye contact with me as I slid next to Enzo.

"Hey," I said, bumping his shoulder.

He smiled at me as he offered to pour me a drink into my goblet.

"You must be Y/N," said Pansy, her elbows leaning on the table as she greeted me with a smile.

She was a bit of a bully back in the day, but she sweetened up immensely once 7th year rolled around. Now that we were in college I assumed she had given up her rude ways; unlike some people who still liked to live in the past - Draco and Theo.

"That I am. It's nice to meet you, Pansy."

Pansy regained her posture as she sat up straight, looking over at Draco. After he said nothing, not even sparing a glance in my direction, she merely slapped him upside the head and rolled her eyes.

This must be normal behavior for him.

As I looked around the table, two absences caught my eye. Both Theo and Mattheo were missing.

"Where's the rest?" I whispered to Enzo so as to not interrupt the conversation flowing throughout the table.

"Oh. They're off somewhere - probably smoking," he shrugged. "Wanna tell me what happened with the Potter gang?"

My lips quirked at the nickname. I had heard my fair share of weird nicknames for the little Golden group of Hogwarts, but that was a first.

"I'll tell you tomorrow. Let's just have our dinner.”

I didn't want to bring the mood down by mentioning the fact that my friends thought Enzo and his buddies were bad news. He felt enough guilt as it is, there was no need to bring up bad memories by reminding him that some people still believed they were secretly Death Eaters.

My mind felt stuck. Stuck between my two personalities, my two families. Before all of this Voldemort nonsense Enzo was my only friend - he was like a brother to me.

Sure, Enzo could've grown into an entirely different person now. But in my mind he was still just the scared little 13 year old that didn't want to lose his best friend - and I was still the girl who broke our friendship. All because of a misunderstanding.

I needed to mend our relationship. I needed the closure so that I could finally move on from what happened that day.

Sometimes I could still hear his words ringing through my brain.

"I didn't want this. I didn't want any of this."

Shaking my head, I diverted my train of thought back to the feast before me. I just hoped that one day I could look at myself in the mirror and not see regret and fear seeping from my features anymore.

#college!au #friends to lovers #slow burn #hurt/comfort #mutual pining #mattheo riddle angst #mattheo riddle headcanon #mattheo riddle fluff #mattheo riddle x you #mattheo riddle imagine #mattheo x reader #mattheo riddle x reader #mattheo riddle smut #matheo riddle #mattheo riddle fanfic #mattheo riddle scenarios #mattheo riddle #harry potter imagine #harry potter fanfic #draco malfoy #pansy parkinson #blaise zabini #theo nott #enzo berkshire #harry potter #ginny weasley #hermione granger #ron weasley #slytherin boys x reader #slytherin boys