#I FUCKING LOVE MAKING WORLDBUILDING OKAY IT MAKES ME MAD THAT THEY DO SO LITTLE AND EXPECT PEOPLE TO CARE
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tfw you wanna try to play ttrpgs again, but ever since playing a few years ago during a certain two campaigns, you were bullied by people who you thought were your friends because you didn't know how to play and they made up reasons why they should dislike you irl. especially while you tried to be nice to them and give them space and tried to make steps towards interacting with them in rp too.
like no, it wasn't like "oh, it's just character interaction, these characters just don't like each other!" no it was "no joke, I absolutely hate your guts, Miss Iodine, fuck you and I'll be an arse to you in-game and irl. i will ignore everything you and your character say, i will attack your character because why not and say it's just what my character would do, and then start harassing my DMs"
love it when i tried for months to reach out for a proper sit down only to be given a sorry-not-sorry half-assed push the blame onto the victim apology
like yes this lives rent free in my head. you won, if that's what you wanted.
#autumn says stuff#vent#im still so fuckin salty even though its been so long#i just don't understand how people can treat others so terribly and not even think twice about it#never a moment of ‟maybe I did wrong?‟#nah. just tell Miss Iodine ‟You're a problem‟#yes that exact statement was said to me#maybe ‟bully‟ is a cliche word but i dunno what else to call it#like mate i've been nearly stabbed before during what i can only assume was an attempted hate crime. technically i did get hurt ig because#grabbed the knife by the blade as it was being thrusted towards me. i still have the said knife btw. wanna get free knife? just grab it#from your attacker. and then they'll run off because they're a little shit. actually don't do that. don't recommend that. okay so the point#is that yk ive been hurt physically many times but goddamn this situation still hurts emotionally#it was funny when said someone in this group told me i was 'appropriating neurodivergent culture.' mate. mate. wot. im how?#take it from me. im not neurotypical lmao. i thought that was obvious but no. no idea where this even stemmed from tbh because it really#came out of nowhere. also being called a fascist for years by these people for liking worldbuilding and star trek was cool. didn't realize#that fuckin reading old soviet books and playing papers please and minecraft makes me a fascist somehow. but you learned it here.#im still so fucking pissed about that accusation. love that their additional reasoning that im somehow a fascist was that#‟you're getting mad and keep insisting you're not a fascist‟ is proof that you're a fascist. what else am i supposed to do? you haven't#even given an ounce of some so-called mountain of evidence.#its cool that no one cared about what these people did to me. better to retain a friendship with them and never bring up what they did.#better to just alienate miss iodine from the friend group. better to never bring it up. better to forget any of this happened. better to#forget that miss iodine exists.#sometimes i wish i could know what its like to not give a flying fuck about other people. I wonder what it's like to be such a shitty perso#fucking hell.#thought i found home when i first met that group. instead it just reminds me of the home i grew up in.#My biological family (save two cool cousins) is probably a collection of some of the worst people in existence.
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dude its twice now that ive tried to play origins multiplayer minecraft servers that happen to be mandatory roleplay for some reason and its just wild that they like, want you to come up with a whole entire person before even playing, especially with worlds that feel... bare bones as fuck, from the information they give
like they give an origin story of the world and maybe like one or two sentences on the races or cultures, and then theyre like 'okay now give your character an entire in depth personality, backstory, family history, job, life goal, childhood dream, credit card number-'
like... with what info ?? with what basis??
the second one ive joined isnt as strict as the first one, seeing as i joined the minecraft server before i even realized there was character applications, and no one really paid me any mind at all or acknowledged me
but there was one i joined like 2 years ago that you had to get your application approved before gaining access to the server, and they direct you to their wiki for reading up on the world and stuff... but again, bare bones as fuck. and i exaggerated before slightly, but fully seriously they asked me 'oh, and where did your characters origin come from? their grandparents getting infected? how did they become this way' and its like. DUDE I DONT KNOW, WHO CARES. WHO WILL ASK ME THAT IN THE ROLEPLAY??? like where am i supposed to even get any of this shit from, the two paragraphs you typed about the world origin story??
i didnt finish the application because that was stupid and it wasnt worth it imo. shame, cause the custom origins were cool, but theres always other origins mods and servers
like... i guess other people work different from me, cause clearly these servers have people in them that somehow came up with functioning characters, but that aint me. if i make a character in a game, their personality and story comes to me while im playing, through their experiences and appearance and the choices im given in the world.
and also literally no one is ever going to fucking ask 'lol so how did your bloodline get mutated?'
#my post#mc#coming up with characters in video games is some of the most fun. like how ive been obsessed with my WoW characters lately ahghdhg#but i came up with those characters mostly through playing as them OR finding out about their racial history and culture through the game#or fuck. even through looking at the WoW wiki a bit for clarifications or even for information i otherwise couldnt get#and guess what! they actually describe things there! they have helpful information and go into detail about things!#they dont just go 'oh the gods got angry and now the world is a little funny silly'. they actually tell you the smaller things!!!!!!#im going to go nutso crazy#either the people making these servers dont have more in depth ideas about the worlds they want people to care about or#they just want to stay vague to be appealing or for all these different people to make more sense but its like#okay but at this point its literally. nothing. you made nothing. congratulations.#I FUCKING LOVE MAKING WORLDBUILDING OKAY IT MAKES ME MAD THAT THEY DO SO LITTLE AND EXPECT PEOPLE TO CARE#THE AMOUNT OF WORLDBUILDING IVE DONE. bitch i could make a roleplay server too. i wont for a few reasons though lol#no hate to the second server i mentioned. but like...hate to the first one. not hate as in send hate but hate as in i dont like them#like i want to tell them that they sound fucking stupid. but i wont#and of course i wont say names because that would be shitty but also i dont want them finding this and starting something#like im just complaining rn. not trying to start drama cause idgaf
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HELLOOOO LETS KILL OURSELVES OVER HERINES HARASAEON. evil of you to do this when im hungover i already almost teared up literally just seeing kiva have her own character tag. like those are my babies from my silly little head and people are creating beautiful things for them!!!! insanity. let's go:
"I just needed a plot device in order to make that boy talk about his feelings bc he only does it if he's homicidal or inebriated" another horrible day fighting the hella-rin allegations
"She never touches his skin, only his scalp, only when doing his hair." fuck the hangover i need a DRINKKK
ama. my best worldbuilding addition by far but also my mortal enemy
"Rin wants to venture into the realm of the gods, find which one is responsible for time, and hold a knife to its throat. He’d force it to turn back the hourglass and eat his words. He’d get on his knees before it and tell it that time itself, and every word spoken, and every word unspoken, must bend to the queen." this whole thing is quite literally some of my favourite writing of all time this is insane this is tattooed onto every inch of my skin i preach this from street corners i spray paint it on buses i-
THE WITCH HAS SHORT HAIR? INTERESTING
they're all so formal lmaoooo. down with monarchy but my harasaeons are okay ig
DRAKO AND AKILA MENTIONED IN A FIC INCIDENT 2 DEAD ONE STILL WRITING LETTERS
"He was born as an apology and he lives the life of a paragon. He likes to be responsible." nova your days are numbered. when i catch you
YOU EQUATED KIVA'S INFLUENCE ON THE PROCEDURE TO SUNLIGHT WHAT IF I KILLED MYSELF. AND ALL THE LANGUAGE REGARDING SHADOW/DARKNESS WITH RIN. MY LAST STRAW
"Her hand brushes a strand of hair back behind his ear, and he hears, more than feels, the kiss to the top of his head. “I’ll be right outside, baby-- baby.”" worst day of my fuckass life
KIVA OBEYS. I CANT DO THIS
clean clay is such a fun addition i love that. also love how official you made the practise of witchcraft bc that's EXACTLY what i want from it like it's literally like talking to any other medical professional
"He spends his time in the sunlight of the library, Kidaro napping on the windowsill, with political treatises, historical scrolls, and the occasional epic poem spread out around him like a hurricane, a method to its madness. He enjoys it. He was always a child with his head in the clouds. He does miss music, though. The palace can get quiet" MY BABY MY BABYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
RIN IS THE OBEDIENT ONE. KIVA OBEYS. DOG MOTIF HARASAEON IS THE BULLET IN THE GUN IM HOLDING
HELPPPPPP MARY IS KINDA GAGGING HIM HERE LMFAO I LOVE HER
HE TOLD HER ABOUT LILLA????? KING PUT THE VODKA DOWNNNNNNNNNN
"Royal blood, good for nothing but animal feed." NOVA. WHEN. I. CATCH. YOU
AND HE CANNOT ASK DRAKO. THEY'RE BROTHERS THEY'RE MAATUI BUT EVEN AFTER ALL THESE YEARS WILLEM IS SOMETHING THEY CANT MAKE PEACE WITH
'would you still love me if I was a worm?' caught me SOO OFF GUARD IM CACKLING I CANT BELIEVE YOU ADDED THAT
"Rin had created a ten-step plan for the event that one of them met the same fate." HES SUCH A NERD I WOULD KILL FOR HIM
memory so bad i actually checked my kuserian dictionary bc i was like 'oooo ghost being translated to death-shadow is cool why dont i remember that' girl....
HAMMARIIIIIIIII. the way even her name made my stomach flip. what if i cried
got too immersed in the procedure and forgot to live react oops
"he would do anything if it meant he was doing it right" "It’s just that a firstborn is a war. A firstborn is a hurricane with a thousand buzzing wings. It is an omen seared into the back of all their necks, it is once-in-a-generation, it is a gift from the gods. And Rin is not one."
DID YOU. DID YO UFCKNING PUT EPIC OF GILGAMESH IN THIS. DIIIIID YOU FUCKING DO THAHFT. HOW LONG IS THE EYE ABLE TO LOOK AT THE SUN FROM THE VERY BEGINNING NOTHING AT ALL HAS LASTED HE'S BEEN DEAD SINCE THE BEGINNING IN THE STORY OF GODS AND KINGS YOU WERE DEAD BEFORE THE INK DRIED
drako's first thought only being to ask 'will you be okay'. frankly i cant take much more. is this how you guys feel when i talk about them because this is AWFUL
"There were myths, in the burnt edges of the kingdom, that said that there were only ever two Harasaeons. The queen and the heiress, switching places in a cycle like night and day. Hammari and Kiva, two stages of the same life, the snake’s egg and the hummingbird. And then, their reincarnations, Lugalia and-- who? The queen is dead. Long live the queen. It is a form of immortality. Rin shattered it." STOP STOP MAKE IT STOP
the philisophical conversation. is love a form of magic. the chasm of his birth. im going to GET YOU
"Please, Ama. You don’t have to love me anymore. Just remember how it felt when you did." THROWING UP BLOOD
that was. im a changed person i need 3-5 business days to think about this i need to call my mum i need to get drunk i need a fantasy witch to cut my tits off
omg hi!!! so true herines harasaeon group suicide girls night <3 and kiva has made her ao3 debut! she's girlbossing she's literally a debutante she is the queen of all time. yeah
-the witch does have short hair! she's from the east (where the monsters are) and yknow I figure that her powers are used for medicine, but if she didn't have all the safety things put in place (no sunlight, careful runes and careful chants) and just went hogwild on a monster she could basically Shigaraki that thing. monster hunting is her side hustle tbh
-the formal speech was fun for me idk. watched too much BBC Victoria with my mom and now I gasp like a gossiping old lady when I write the phrase "You have my permission to withdraw" bc it's SUCH a power-play it's so good.
-my days might be numbered but so are Rin's
-sunlight and shadow motif with nuance is always sm fun. me when characters are bright and carcinogenic. me when characters are invisible, shadows dogging their own steps, silent and beaten-down and elegant all the same. yeah
-“I’ll be right outside, baby-- baby.”" worst day of my fuckass life too tbh, that's the line that really clicked the whole fic in place for me. kiva loves him but not enough to change him. baby boy good luck taking care of yourself. etc
-dog motif harasaeons you will always be famous
-clean clay and also the oldest sigils Mary paints on Rin are cuneiform if that wasn't clear. mesopotamian aesthetic goes hard
-Mary DOES kinda gag Rin lmao. she's literally so Kanut-coded I can't stand her. she's like 'i won't throw hands with a child but i will permanently invert his worldview with some moderately harsh words and also disrespect the queen if it means showing him that there's someone who supports his evolution wholeheartedly'
-he cannot ask drako!!! grief is something the harasaeons can't stand i think. kiva ignores rin like an open would because she grieves him and lilla. willem is given the same treatment
-"would you still love me if i was a worm" is a tonal shift I wasn't sure about but I think it works. something about siblings defaulting to poking fun at each other when they can't stand the truth. their love must go either unspoken or mocked. they can only survive it with a little humor and a little grace
-rin is the nerd of all time and i love him for it
-i'm gonna be so real death-shadow meaning ghost is something i stole wholesale from Mando'a. like the language for star wars mandalorians. but yknow what the concept fucks hard and george lucas doesn't own the literal mistranslations of his peripheral conlangs
-"It’s just that a firstborn is a war." harasaeons when they have to decide between an insane warmongering eldest daughter and literally anyone else
-yes i did put the epic of gilgamesh in there. yes i was browsing Amazon Goodreads for good quotes in the middle of my economics class. dw about it
-drako asking 'will you be okay' IS how we feel when you drop the saddest lore of all time on us unprompted, yeah x
-Lugalia and-- who? The queen is dead. Long live the queen. It is a form of immortality. Rin shattered it." me when Rin ending the cycle could have been construed as a positive ending to the cycle of generational trauma and violence but instead it is a betrayal to his heritage
-"is love a form of magic" is also one of the central lines of the piece. i wanted to show the deep childlike core of Rin's pain. Tell me a story about how it ends where you're still the good guy I'll make pretend cause I hate this story where happiness ends and dies with you I thought good guys get to be happy I'm not happy. etc. you know how it is
tysm!!!!
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as someone who rewatches 2001 aso every couple of years to get my mind blown, please do go unhinged in talking about the dirkjake au. that is SUCH a cool idea.
AHHHH okay so . there's a lot here because it is important to me to keep the integrity of both properties as intact as i can while still achieving what i want to creatively (worth mentioning that this is based on a mixture of 2001aso's novel as well as the film). this is very fun for me though because i love doing exposition and worldbuilding. its worth mentioning that i have changed a lot of things as well, and quite drastically. this is for The Vision. okay. the point here is for me to put two things together and create a third entirely different project.
first things first, jane takes the role of heywood floyd. she used to be a very famous and celebrated astronaut (who did work alongside jake) but she retired to go back to her roots in baking. she's still a very trusted and respected name and since she was born into political wealth, she's the person they call to come take a look at the tma-1. (tma-1 isnt a monolith in this au; im changing it to a spiral shaped object for this)
jake takes the role of dave bowman. he got passed down his grandma's tech business after she died and he's spent a good part of his life shifting its gears to space travel. so skaianet makes its own spaceships and shit now. jake juggles his skainet responsibilities with being a storied and celebrated astronaut. hes the captain of the ship (golgotha) and hes told that the mission is to explore a moon of a far off planet called abraxas.
dirk takes the role of frank poole but he's a little more special because he's the guy who created the AR unit (Heehoo hal9000 joke). dirk is a supergenius who raised himself after his bro died in a filmmaking accident. AR started as a scan of his brain and he ended up just dedicating a chunk of his life to creating a Perfect AI. mad scientist vibes but he is casually fucking insane. we're going to crazy places with dirk in this au.
roxy is gonna be their mission control contact, but jake is well acquainted with her through skaianet and dirk is an estranged childhood friend who lost contact with her. we're going to jakeroxy best friends places with this one guys. Oh yeah.
im going to get really into exploring dirk's relationship with his splinters as well as into jake's Everything. i want this to be a kind of abstract character study exercise. i can't really say too much about the AR but he's an integral part of this (obviously) in ways i am only beginning to put on paper. i dont know if im ever gonna post any of it anywhere but i Have started on the fic. this is also a major tldr but if you have questions about more specific things i could absolutely get into it LOL i have a lot of thoughts and things to say.
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The things I did by Lolo-ro fic review
Chapter by chapter, until i got distracted by the story lol.
Still fairly new to marauders but am loving it.
summary review: I truly adored this fic, probably my fave Wolfstar so far. I thought the worldbuilding was fantastic, as well as the characterization of baby Harry. Fairly angsty, but with plenty of fluff to make up for it. The raising Harry idea is becoming one of my favorite tropes, and this fic did an amazing job of weaving parenthood into a world that is still filled with complexities and evil, as well as lives outside of the main characters.
SPOILERS BELOW BEWARE
Chapter One
Again, the aftermath for Remus is getting me
So so so sad, and him believing Sirius innocent makes it worse
The traitor shit is horrible to deal with emotionally im sure
I am upset to realize just how much remus ignored harry in the books/canon
Like thats ur nephew fr come onnnn
Chapter Two
Aw he’s doing a good job as a dad
This fic is making him out to be very forgetful, fully forgot about both harry and Sirius
The pacing is much more clear in this which I enjoy quite a bit
Cutesy Christmas, cutesy harry
ALSO I LOVED THE HAGRID MOMENT
I do feel like we need to get the Weasleys involved tbh baby Ron and Harry is PEAK
Chap 3
Pls dont let that annoying ass bitch be important, if theyre in trouble bc of this shit ill kms
Shut up Hagrid he needs everything he wants his parents ARE dead brother
Okay actually I like that annoying ass bitch a lot, this is very good
I guess he actually is spoiling him tbf
Ok so he’s actually forgetful as fuck. Forgot Harry’s birthday, forgot about Sirius AGAIN.
Like actually what is going on is his brain damaged
This chapter has been depressing
The fight IN AZKABAN how will this turn into legit wolfstar if they are so mad they fight WHILE SIRIUS IS IMPRISONED
But also he didn’t talk to a single person for 12 years in canon im gonna kms
Marauders is making me realize just how shitty and sad canon was bruh, remus and Sirius were like ALONE, obvie remus did shit and wasn’t a complete waste but its just so SAD
OKAYYYY I TOLD Y’ALL I LOVE A GOOD MOODY MOMENT
Literally obsessed with alastor moody he’s so fucking cool and we BARELY KNEW HIM in the books because of FUCKING CROUCH
This chapter was incredible, good baby harry, good angst, good FIGHT (love romantic arguments, make me nostalgic) (imy [REDACTED] we fought so cutey)
Ok I think I complained earlier about this, but it’s important for there to be conflict and issues when there’s this much trauma. Great plot choice. Also makes it 20x more interesting
Fuck Peter. I fucking hate Peter.
Chapter 4
Ugh stupid muggles messing everything up
Someone should try to kill them all off or something idk they’re getting in the way
But this is shaping up to have some LEGAL ISSUES which I LOVE because im a fucking NERD <33333
Harry is so cute. I actually prefer this to the last baby Harry bc he has sm more personality.
Almost forgot the meat of this chapter omg its good im getting distracted
Sirius and Harry together was a NEED bruh actually so cute
And I talked to you kate about this earlier but remus has been different in other fics and I do kinda like him in this one, he’s more depressed and stressed than normal, but the forgetfulness almost lends itself to aloofness in a way that fits him
I very much appreciated him being so kind to Sirius. While I understand him being pissed at him for thinking he’s a traitor, the man is in Azkaban, like you’ve got to chill out, talk to him about this stuff when you have more than 15 minutes and less dementors
Anyway that scene was nice, I like the idea of their little family
Chappy 5
Good shit again
THIS is the perfect chapter length, not so long I forget what happens but no so short I have to stop reading every five seconds to review
The werewolf prejudice is a big thing in this fic, im not sure how I feel about it. Obviously from an equality standpoint, werewolves should be seen as human. Yet, there is something to the idea that the actual transformed wolf is very dangerous. I’m worried the wolfsbane study will be viewed as Remus “hiding himself” or something like that, when it should be viewed as a solution to the one thing holding werewolves back.
This can’t be compared to real life discrimination. You can’t be like “so you hate minorities” because none of the minorities I know turn into wolves once a month bruh
Anyway, Dumbledore being morally grey-ish, making mistakes but always anti-voldy. He’s such an interesting character. I like his presence in the book as well. Hagrid should come back soon he’s so nice.
Chap 6
Permanent pass <3, so cute. Having to abandon muggle friends? Not cute. Fuck Dumbledore, but only like a little
Not a dumby stan or hater tbh hes just a little silly in both directions
I’m so conflicted on this situation. Yes, it SUCKS that Sirius thought remus was the spy, but it’s not necessarily damning. It’s likely he convinced himself of it because it was the most painful option so it must’ve been the truth. It seems like fear, almost, and jealousy of the wolves over him? Might be over analyzing and overomanticizing but that is what im seeing atm.
The teaching position goes fucking CRAZY man, If remus was my history teacher my life would be GOLDEN
Do you think remus lupin would be a good addition to upper H hall yes or no
Chapter 7
Jesus fuck I forget how sad all this shit is sometimes
To begin with, the teaching position seems great. I do wish Remus would understand that he’s qualified for it
Speaking of teachers, I would love to see who the DADA teacher is, I know its not permanent but still fun
Anyway, I think 7 kids would be the end of me. I love children, and I still relate to Remus far more than Arthur in that scene, there’s actually no fucking way.
Like yes give me a shot I cannot do it, the strong drink joke was a good cover because I am sure its Arthurs greatest desire
Also, love him just dropping interest about muggles, would love to see that chat actually play out but it seems unimportant
But maybe it’ll be how he catches worm tail …
Azkaban visit was good, Sirius is being less racist, and Remus is being kind. Wish they would love each other again already but slow burn wins <3
Also you could just tell that Sirius missed harry, very cute
Chapter 8
Heart hurts, poor Sirius
I said that remus should be nicer
Chapter 9
Okay, information has been gained
Sorry for short 8 summary
So Sirius FORGOT that he and remus broke up, which is CRAZY
There’s a whole lot of forgetting in this fic im realizing, very relatable
I would actually kill myself
I’m sitting here pondering how I would react in this situation and genuinely tweaking just imagining it
He needs to go break it off with him, he can explain, there’s not really another option for him. If he maintains this it’s going to end poorly. I’m assuming he’s going to do that anyway, as it creates the most drama and is fantastic for the plot
I do think Remus is underestimating the importance of being taken even somewhat seriously by the Wizengamot. I know it’s not what he fully wanted but it’s legitimate progress.
Chapter ten
WHAT DID I SAY HE’S NOT GONNA TELL HIM
This chapter INFURIATED ME
Also im gonna start skipping chapters bc otherwise the review will be long asf
Snape is a piece of work, obviously. Like Remus isn’t being shitty to you and you were a fucking death eater man. Also he despises children which is a red fucking flag
Just let him pet your stupid cat motherfucker
Unless its secretly regulus as an animagus that would be sick asf I saw fan art the other day where he was a cat and it was good
Moving on, im appreciating the slow burn on discovering Peter. Like they easily could have discovered him 3 chapters ago when remus was first there.
Chapter 11 & 12
The enchanted parchment
Leaving him on delivered is crazy actually
Literally reads exactly like the GHP texts between me and [REDACTED] LMAO
“I guess I’ll talk to you later, assuming you’re at soccer, imy!!”
Actually devastated reading this im going to be honest
Lots of shit going down, forgetting and memory issues are such an interesting plot device, it makes any part of the story unreliable, and confuses the reader just a little bit. It also creates a lot of dramatic irony, which can often be very sad and tragic
Also, order members calling voldy “Voldemort” all high and mighty is a bit strange considering that they all chewed harry out about calling him “He Who Shall Not be Named”
Snape stole the parchment read it and slipped a potion into lupins chocolate that he would give to Sirius to sabotage their relationship
Bc Dumbledore told Snape everything as his extra special spy obviously
Ok so I was wrong it was dementors again. And remus told Sirius about the breakup. Which is, the right thing to do I guess
This is so hard for everybody man, Sirius’ perspective is heartbreaking
At least it shows his chats with dumby, who happens to be the funniest person in this fic
Chapters 13 & 14
Reconciliation came a bit too easily but thats alright, I want them to be happy
The amount I would give to receive a cat for Christmas. I want that so bad bruh.
Ok at least they’re acknowledging how bad Remus is with dates
Okay him being a dog seems helpful, I do feel like that should have been noticed a while ago
Honestly am feeling a bit lost in the romance, long distance pining is not my fave but hopefully Sirius will be freed before long and they can be happy for once.
I just am so curious as to why they broke up, I know thats the point but it just doesn’t make sense
Also ignore my random theories I keep throwing about, I dont actually believe snapes cat is regulus or that Snape poisoned Sirius its just fun
Chapters 15-16
They explained the plan so I know it will go horribly wrong
HELL FUCKING YEAH THEY GOT HIM THAT SNEAKY LITTLE CUNT HATE THAT MOTHERFUCKER FUCK PETER I HATE PETER
Still not happy. I dont know what I expected
2 chapters and they’ll kiss, im expecting a huge fight in chapter 17
Chapters 17-20
Ok this is strange. The relationship dynamic has developed very differently than I thought it would. They really need to figure out this memory I’m sure it all a misunderstanding or some stupid shit like that
Someone thought someone else killed somebody else
Also why is this so mirroring to me and [REDACTED] from like July forward
Distant over text/parchment, not allowed to say I love you, basically only physical, guilt for things I couldn’t remember
Except for the baby and trauma and everything
Last fic was me and remus being the same this time it’s Sirius. When am I going to consume content and not think about [REDACTED] again Im tired of him being in my brain
Chap 21-22
KATE I TOLD YOU NO I LOVE YOU FICS I HATE THIS
I also talked about [redacted] with ppl for like an hour and a half last night it was terrible
Did it again the next night bro why is that rat still in my head
23-24
The memories are throwing me for a loop. On the one hand, everything is devastatingly sad. On the other hand, they’re all being emo and need to get it together
Sirius getting “lost in his memories” is a cool idea though, I’m liking the new magic thats being explored in this fic
I need them to have a huge blowup fight. Like a massive fight that sucks and is terrible. I don’t know how they’d do it but I need it
Also I think I can take one more “oh poor Sirius” memory until I blow my brains out. Big whoop your plan failed and you were insecure about it, I’d reach out to the closest person to blame to. I blamed [REDACTED] for not winning an award at model un, not his fault. Sirius can blame Remus for his plan failing and have a moody moment then move on, trust can be rebuilt.
Last five chapters
Ok everything is happy again and the reunion went FANTASTIC
The one thing I feel like I haven’t commented on enough in this fic is Snape
His character is well done, he’s so mean and bitchy but not like completely evil which is just hilarious, I love his and Remus’s dynamic its very good
I also think his relationship with Harry is funny, and I���m glad it’s not as shitty as it started out.
“Harry, friendly and bright-eyed, took the opportunity of silence to lean onto the counter, put his face right up to the goblin’s, and say, “Meow.”
Remus pulled Harry off the counter, embarrassed, and plopped him on the ground. “Don’t meow at people, love.”
That is actually the silliest cutest thing I’ve ever read in my entire life. Literally would birth a child rn bc of how cute that is. Jesus fucking christ bruh
Can they stop making out in public. Like in front of one other person in public. Its so awk
I KEEP TRYING TO GIVE KUDOS THIS IS LIKE SUGAR BRUH SO SWEET
My criticisms are growing though, there are a few things im concerned about but im gonna finish the story before I discuss
Why can I not escape my Draco phase. One sentence about “the little Malfoy” and harry going on playdates and I RUSH to think about how that changes their school dynamic and how they treat each other and all this shit
Looks like they’re leaving some loose ends on purpose, telling not showing a lot here at the end tbh
I WANT A CHILD HE’S SO CUTE
This is the first time ive actually been obsessed with a child character hes ADORABLE
Gonna read the epilogue before writing my final review, but don’t want to take it in for my review
FINAL REVIEW:
Ok. Done. Having to write this a day after finishing because I fell asleep right after
My favorite parts
ANGST: very well done, miscommunication can sometimes be overdone but I feel like it worked this time. I loved how easily apparent the love that was still there was.
Humor: This fic made me laugh out loud multiple times. This was mostly Harry, but there were a couple of moments from the doctor guy and Arthur that made me giggle
CHILD: literally have never seen a child portrayal that was this good. Like literally from beginning to end it was good. I’m sure some people would read this fic and say 2 yo harry is too advanced, but he’s so bright and I feel like growing up with Remus would breed him to be a talker. The accuracy of the 8 yo and 11 yo at the end was good as well, it ticks me off when people fuck up ages of a child, especially one so parenting-focused as this
Depth of world building: I could truly see this world, like I understood the flat, I understood the weasleys, I understood the dorm at Hogwarts. The scene at their graves, everything was great.
Now my weaknesses
Some underdeveloped plots
Peter: they brought up having to talk to him, made it a big deal with getting a memory and then just abandoned it and said “remus had the perfect memory.” Then, the memory was SO MUNDANE. I’m sure the author just fucked up and had to figure something out, which is fine, just was a little dissapointing.
Poison: this is another where I think the plot just ran away from the author, but I was expecting something more than “Sirius asked them to fix it and they did”
Some(?) characterizations
Remus was perfect. Sirius was a little too nice, he’s volatile and little bitt crazy and I got less of that in this fic. Sometimes it was perfect. This isn’t really a criticism, more “it could be a little better”
Overall: 8.3/10
I truly adored this fic, probably my fave wolfstar so far. However, I know this is just because I love children and loved baby harry so much, so my rating is attempting to be unbiased.
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What makes up a world?
We don't create in a vacuum, and lately I've been thinking about why Albinoch is shaping up the way it is. Below I've compiled a list of various stories and songs that I think have molded a critical part of what I'm putting out into the world. I sincerely recommend you check all of these out, if you haven't already (with one glaring exception oops). The nuances of Cyberpunk, and Vampires, and Speculative Noir fiction are all so fun to explore on their own, and I've really enjoyed figuring out how to mesh.
FILM/TV
Strange Days (1995)*
Blade Runner (1982)
Blade Runner 2049 (2017)
Near Dark (1987)
Lost Boys (1987)
Johnny Mnemonic (1995) (affectionate)
Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997-2004)
Angel (1999-2005)
Life on Mars (UK) (2006-2007)
Dresden Files (2007) (derogatory-affectionate)
Midnight Mass (2021)
Mute (2013) (DEROGATORY)**
MUSIC
Princess Goes To The Butterfly Museum
David Bowie (especially Lazarus)
Lanulos by HereComeHere
MCR
The Clash
Death
X-Ray Specs
Jhariah
Bauhaus
LITERATURE
"Johnny Mnemonic" (Gibson, 1981)
Fetch Phillips novels (Luke Arnold, 2020-2023)
Dresden Files novels (Jim Butcher, 2000-ongoing)
Interview with a Vampire (Anne Rice)
GAMES
Vampire: the Masquerade (TTRPG)
Cyberpunk series (little derogatory)
All of these works are found in fragments and little pieces all through Albinoch, in her setting, her technology, and her people. I've really enjoyed taking an inventory of parts of this city and asking, "okay, where did you come from?" I think it's important to recognize that even original creative works are a patchwork of the things their makers love. And this city more than anything has helped me recognize how much I make stories for and because of the stories I love.
*Strange Days is truly one of my favorite movies of all time. Ralph Fiennes and Angela Bassett are fantastic in this, and it somehow even feels more prescient and applicable now that it's almost 30 years old. HOWEVER. In between the noir buddy dynamics and pathetic poor little meow meows, it's an incredibly heavy movie with some serious potential triggers. The heaviness is, I think, merited for what the film attempts to deal with. More than any other title on this list, I'd check the doesthedogdie for this film before watching it, just in case.
** Don't watch this movie. Don't. It's not even fun to watch going in knowing it's bad. This is ABSOLUTELY NOT an endorsement for this movie. It was three fucking hours of my life I'll never get back. Thinking about it is raising my blood pressure. But it felt intellectually dishonest not to include this movie on the list, because a lot of the reason Albinoch even exists is because I got so mad about the way Mute murders cyberpunk and wears its skin like a cheap suit to cover for how dogshit it actually is that I resolved to singlehandedly do better. This movie is also incredibly triggering. But instead of dealing with heavy topics in horrific but respectful ways to interrogate failings in society, it goes "hoohoo wouldn't this be fucked up" and then does it. It sets up some interesting worldbuilding and then shits all over it for shock value because fuck you for trying to engage with its story or characters in any meaningful way. Fuck this movie.
#albinoch inspo#aesthetic#cyberpunk#johnny mnemonic#blade runner#kathryn bigelow#science fiction#strange days#worldbuilding#near dark 1987#lost boys 1987#buffy the vampire slayer#vampires#noir#cybernoir
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can u infodump about Solomon. Please. I know I’ve heard a bit about him but go wild. give me the full essay. if this is a movie theatre I’m sitting there front row very excited 🥹🖤🫶‼️‼️
JUMPING UP AND DOWN SO FAST !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SOLOMON VALE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this cringe fucking loser (<- said in a way that makes it clear i want him in a way that would get me burned at the stake)
(please forgive the fact that all the images are full size, i've literally been trying to fix it for 15 minutes and tumblr just reverts it back every time and i'm literally so mad about it)
yes i can infodump about him. yes i always can. this fucker altered my brain chemistry at 15-16 years old and continues to make me ill to this day.
welcome to the first introduction of magicverse on this blog hehehe my true agenda all along
(CW: child abuse/abuse in general, kidnapping, sort of graphic violence, sexual abuse (implied)/sex as a self-defense mechanism... basically any warning you'd put on astari*n's story can be applied here. they're shockingly similar. i would avoid talking about some of this stuff if it wasn't so important story-wise, sorry ^^;)
anyway. look at him again. your reward for opening the readmore
okay so, i'm gonna have to elaborate on some worldbuilding first because otherwise a lot of this doesn't make sense.
there are six major types of entities in magicverse, with some notable offshoots. but in the context of solomon, i will be mainly referring to three: humans, sorcerers, and demons. humans are exactly as they are in the real world, living normal lives unaware of magic. sorcerers are, in essence, humans who can see and interact with magic, with an additional thing: humans can't see them, hear them, or interact with them. magic still affects the real world, but to humans it looks like natural disasters or other strange phenomena, rather than what it actually is. demons are creatures that were originally humans, but were turned (similarly to vampires! except demons have to actually kill them rather than just biting) and are no longer human. they can interact with both humans and sorcerers, as well as anything in between, including magic. however, they can't manipulate magic.
USUALLY.
however! you remember that "notable offshoot" i was talking about? that's solomon, and his "siblings". but i'll talk about them later. for now, i'm going to talk about solomon and his "superior", servius.
solomon was born a sorcerer. you'll notice that in my description of demons, i said they were originally humans. and, the vast majority of them were, because turning sorcerers was forbidden long, long ago, by the sort of governing body that exercises control over demons, the "high demon council" (i'd like to find a better name for this someday but have never gotten around to it). however, servius, cocky piece of shit that he is, decided that he wanted to overthrow that governing body, and take control of the demons himself. and in order to do that, he needed an army. or, if not an army, an extremely powerful weapon.
and what extremely powerful weapon was available to him? sorcerers. because why would turning sorcerers be forbidden if it didn't pose a threat? but servius isn't particularly strong for a demon, and certainly not strong enough to take on a full blown sorcerer by himself. so, you know what he did?
he started hunting down sorcerer kids. impressionable, still weak enough prey. and solomon was the first.
sylvester vale was 9 years old, an only child, and so, so loved. his parents adored him; he was their whole world. he was a little shy, loved candy, and hated brushing his teeth.
and servius caught him on his way home one day, cut his head off, and made a puppet out of him. turned him into solomon.
the thing about demons, see, is that they can't disobey the orders of their "superiors", aka the ones who turned them. their bodies react when their superior speaks, whether they want to obey or not. suffice to say, it was disgustingly easy for servius to turn a boy into a weapon, horrifyingly simple to do whatever he needed to to get solomon to lose every ounce of defiance he had.
solomon doesn't remember his life "before". he doesn't remember his parents, hardly remembers even having any. it's been 150-ish years since then, after all, and everything servius did to him erased every bit of the boy he was before. the only remnants he has are the jagged scar on his neck and his fucked up teeth.
the other thing about demons is that, despite the fact that they can shapeshift, there are certain things they can't shapeshift away, usually "imperfections" of some kind that are either indicative of something from their prior life or scars from the way they were killed. solomon has both. like the universe getting one last spiteful laugh lol
anyway. so, once servius felt like he'd sufficiently erased every bit of "sylvester" from solomon (so, when solomon was older, about 16) he started training him. and it was true that a sorcerer-turned-demon was far more powerful than any normal demon, even if solomon was still just a scrawny, fucked up teenager. not only did he have the superhuman strength of a demon and the ability to shapeshift, he also still had his magic. a demon with magic, and not only that, but he still had the ability to interact with humans. and that was a strength that no one else could claim.
so, that cemented the plan: to craft superweapon demon children, and twist them, and break them to obey servius's will. to eventually overthrow the demon society as they knew it.
it took a long time for servius to find other targets. sorcerers are few and far between, and sorcerer children even moreso. so it was just solomon for a long time, and in the meantime he learned to do as demons do: haunt the streets, pick targets to turn, make more. it was a good distraction, if anything, to drown himself in city nightlife and bars and sex and doing what he had been taught to do: kill. he got so good at it that he did it without thinking, because it was all he really knew how to do. for about a hundred years. he turned into a charismatic, flirtatious, murdering monster. a good, true villain. back then, anyway
there were others that servius tried to turn, over those years. but they were failures, either failing to turn and just dying instead, or simply being impossible to break and being killed for real (the holy water kind). and solomon felt nothing. but then servius got sick of doing it himself, and went, hm! well, i have a superweapon, after all! might as well finally use it! and sent solomon to do his dirty work.
now, you may be wondering, "grims, wouldn't they have to obey solomon then?" well not if solomon dragged them back to servius instead of killing them himself.
which was the plan. but the first time, solomon fucked up. lol
i have this other oc, lavern, who was solomon's first target. and solomon would've been able to handle it pretty easily. except that when he got to the point where he could drag him back to servius, he had this momentary thought of like, "okay, well, if i turned him myself though, i could get the upper hand on servius". because, like, it's not like he loved servius. he hated his fucking guts. but there was nothing he could do. so he thought, well, if i turn this kid, maybe he can be my weapon. and he started to do it, started to kill him. but about halfway through, he suddenly felt sick, realizing this must've been what servius felt when he turned solomon, and he stopped.
unfortunately, something went wrong, and lavern ended up becoming some weird half-demon half-sorcerer amalgam that kind of just made him weaker instead of stronger. and solomon is saddled with the guilt of permanently fucking this kid up because he got greedy. but it's only a little guilt, because we must remember solomon was kind of a piece of shit at this point. 👍 he does end up hiding lavern in his apartment though because he feels bad. he kind of ends up like a little brother to solomon, and that's where solomon's "siblings" start.
servius got mad at him for this, of course (solomon lied and said he failed and the kid died) and never let him go hunting for him again. soon after that, servius hunted down a couple of other kids, an 8 year old and a 16 year old (and he was REALLLLLLY lucky on that one), and successfully turned them. lili and jem, solomon's other siblings. and servius began calling them "horsemen," some tongue-in-cheek joke because he meant to make a fourth one. solomon, death. lili, famine. jem, war. and the last would be pestilence.
but he never got the chance to make a fourth one. there's a long story about the first person solomon ever fell in love with, the thing that changed him from this mostly heartless monster to something salvageable, but it's something i kind of want to rework because it involves an oc that is not mine and that feels wrong to still use. the plot would remain the same, but the details would need to be different. but the jist is, solomon sticks his neck out for someone he really shouldn't have, because he got stupid and possessive of an enemy, and it leads to him saving them from being permanently obliterated, and in return they eventually kill servius in a blind rage because servius tries to get solomon to kill them. and they basically destroy themself in the process. and solomon is left alone again. :)
so for about 20 years, solomon's alone with no servius and just his siblings, one of which (jem) hates him so much and keeps trying to kill him, and the other two who he has no idea how to deal with. and he has this new problem of having grown to care about someone enough to fall in love with them and then losing them and having no idea how to deal with these feelings he now knows he's capable of. and it sucks, and he's miserable, and he starts randomly taking jobs just to fill his time.
and that's how he meets meko, a sorcerer, and solomon's future husband (seb's oc who i literally go fucking crazy over!)
i'm only saying how they met because i think seb would be disappointed in me if i didn't. we were like 17 when we came up with this so please forgive how juvenile it is though it's in character JKSHJDKJSD. but anyway uh, it was originally just a joke, but i had solomon working the night shift as a cashier at a sex toy store because he would do that (he enjoys people watching). and meko, yknow, being a sorcerer, figured he could just go in and steal whatever he wanted because it's not like anyone would be able to see him, right? but he didn't expect a demon to be working the register LMFAO so uh. yeah. solomon calls him out on it because no one else is there and meko being meko is like "hey i'll suck your dick if you let me go" because he's. normal. solomon doesn't take him up on it but it's still funny to me. also meko's first impression of solomon is, and i quote, "That has to be the palest motherfucker I've ever seen in my entire fucking life," which i still think is a hilarious first impression and also extremely true.
anyway uhhhh jem shows up and tries to kill solomon again when meko's there and solomon has to save him, but then it ends up with this whole debacle where solomon takes meko to his pocket dimension apartment but can't get him back out immediately and it's a whole ridiculous way to meet. but they just keep running into each other over and over despite not trying to and they disastrously fall for each other because they're equally weird and chaotic. but meko is terminally ill and doesn't tell solomon until he's so weak he can't hide it, and solomon loses it because. well. the other person he loved died unexpectedly and it's Bad. so solomon, despite his better judgment, offers to turn meko into a demon (or, well, a horseman, but, semantics) to "save" his life. so he wouldn't have to lose him. and meko lets him.
it's a scene i've wanted to write for YEAAAARS but solomon kills him by stabbing meko in the back while he's holding him. and he feels so sick the whole time because he told himself he'd never turn anyone again and much less a sorcerer, but here he is killing the man he loves and turning him into a monster just like he is and technically fulfilling servius's wish by making a fourth demon-sorcerer. but it's worth it, he tells himself, if he gets to keep meko with him.
and like, he doesn't regret it, but it's guilt that still haunts him even in current day. he still has nightmares about it. it sucks. it's bad. i'm sad about meko and solomon sorry i think about them a lot
but anyway look at them
absolutely obsessed w/ them. they're gross <3
anyway uh last but not least, after they've, yknow, settled a bit, solomon accidentally stumbles upon two demon kids (twins. they're literally like 4) who got turned and abandoned by their parents, and solomon feels sorry for them and picks them up, not really intending to keep them but not wanting them to rot on the street ("i'm not running an orphanage here but god i just can't leave em there" he says, lying about not running an orphanage). and he gets attached, because of course he does. and that's how meko and solomon end up with adrian and blaine, two absolute freaklets.
and that's (mostly!) the solomon story, skipping over or skimming some major things LOL i love him so so much i'm sorry
oh uh bonus trivia:
he has a giant scraggly black cat named death who can talk and also turn into a horse (though i haven't decided if i want to keep the horse thing. it's kind of a leftover thing from the original horseman idea that i only halfway scrapped). they fucking hate each other but death sticks around anyway and solomon has no idea why. he actually likes the kids though and solomon is baffled and confused by this
"sylvester" was actually trans and was still like, settling into that when he got killed, and solomon has literally no memory of this and thinks he's amab because he's been shapeshifted as such for so long. it's kind of funny to me but also sad :(
i didn't really get to mention this but solomon's magic type is teleportation! or, like, more specifically teleportation/pocket dimensions sort of? it's a little nebulous but basically he can teleport himself and also summon things from other places as long as he knows exactly where it is. so he has like, a shit ton of knives and other weapons stored at his apartment and can just summon them at will. he can also teleport other people but it takes a lot of energy and he has to be touching them
demons all have, like, "true" forms and solomon's is his original body carrying its own head + goop wings and stuff. i wish so badly that i could draw so i could design it but aughhghhg.
when i originally made him, i was trying to prove i could make an "irredeemable" character because a friend thought i couldn't, and i was like, oh yeah? and i made him and originally he was but then i. got attached . and redeemed him. so i failed. LOL oops
i think that's all for now !!! i love him so much. guy who rewired me. i'm still fucked up about how similar he and astari*n are and it further proves that i could never put solomon in the public eye because people can't help being freaks. but i digress
solomon vale NUMERO UNO!!!!!! he's a disaster! mwah!
#oc: solomon#info#img#darkjusticiars#answers#SOLOMON VALE MY BESTIE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you for asking i love himmmmmm i love him so much#oh i should tag#v: magicverse#yeah#i neeeeeeed to talk about magicverse more so i can properly fix it for my eventual book. augh#if you saw this post before i'm sorry i've been trying to fix the image formatting for like 15 minutes#it literally will not group them together no matter what i do if i want it to be under a readmore. so fuck me i guess#anyway! augh.
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Hi sweetie here are some q's for your fic author ask game!
3 10 14 17 19 29 30: Is there a fic,written by someone else, that you would love to do a remix of? What is it and why?
:) :) :) :) :) :)
3. What’s your favorite fic that you’ve written?
"sorry about the blood in your mouth (i wish it was mine)" & "i can't let go when something's broken" are my two favorites :3 (and maybe also the kiki's delivery service au, that one was just so fluffy and cute and sparkly)
10. Is there a fic that got a different response than you were expecting?
i'm surprised by how many people really seem to love "when i don't touch you" tbh! the mechanics/worldbuilding is vague at best in my opinion and i leave a lot of stuff ambiguous because i just wanted to tell this story of missing someone and needing them and fate and destiny. i am always surprised & very very grateful for the compliments that fic receives!
14. If you could see one of your fics adapted into a visual medium, such as comic or film, which fan fic would you pick?
i wrote "sorry about the blood in your mouth" constantly thinking about how it would look if it was being filmed. that one is my most cinematic, i think!!
17. What’s something you’ve learned about while doing research for a fic?
the last vcr was sold in 2016 :)
19. Give us a small teaser from one of your WIPs.
from chapter 2 of "oh my, love is a lie":
Steve taps on the pink highlight around Eddie’s profile picture. It looks like Eddie uses his instagram stories like a diary, posting his various thoughts throughout the day. The first story is a poll: “Would you fuck Jeff Bezos to end global warming?” Steve doesn’t vote. The next three stories are just memes. The next slide is a picture of a bowl of soup with the words “good soup” and after that is a picture of Chrissy’s cat with the caption “this eldritch creature lives in my house.” The last slide shows the results from the original poll, an overwhelming amount of people having apparently voted “no” on Jeff Bezos. Eddie’s added the words “dang, can’t believe how selfish you all are.” That makes Steve laugh, just a little.
Steve shuts off the screen on his phone and sets it down on his bedside table. He takes off his glasses and rubs at his eyes, yawning. Then, he reaches over and turns out his light, before sliding down under his covers and falling asleep.
29. Share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic. (If you don’t have either, just share a random fic idea you have that you don’t plan on getting to.)
a scene cut from "sorry about the blood in your mouth":
“Max,” Eddie says, cautiously. “Is there something bothering you?”
“No,” she snaps, still not turning to look at him. She’s torn between wanting him to go away and wanting to tell him exactly what she thinks right now.
“Max… I know you’re feeling angry right now. Is it because Steve left? I know that you feel better when he’s around and—“
“What, you think Steve is, like, my emotional support dog or something?” She can’t keep the anger out of her voice, even though she’s really trying. “Yes, I love having him around because I love him and he’s one of my best friends. I don’t need him here to do my job. This isn’t Steve’s fault, by any stretch of the imagination.”
“Okay,” Eddie responds and she can hear some confusion in his voice. Max finally turns to look at him and she can see his eyebrows scrunching up as he furrows his brow. She can’t help but wonder how it’s possible for one man to be so deeply and irreparably stupid?
“I’m mad at you, asshole,” she finally admits, jabbing her pointer finger into Eddie’s chest.
“Me? Why?” Eddie rubs at the spot on his chest where she’d just poked him.
“Because!” She throws up her hands. “How is it possible for you to be so fucking stupid? For ten whole years!”
“Huh?” Eddie’s confused frown deepens.
“Jesus Christ, Eddie. Who do you think this story is about?”
“The story? Of the movie? Uh. Lucy is you, Max. I wrote her for you.”
“Lucy isn’t me,” she says, like it’s obvious. “I’ve been madly in love with Lucas since I was thirteen and I tell him so every single day. Try again.”
“But—“
“Yeah, but nothing! Eddie, what—if I’m Lucy, who’s Delilah?”
“Lucy is you and Nancy, Delilah’s El and Robin.”
Max snorts. “Okay, that’s a little funny.”
“I thought so.”
“But Lucy isn’t me and Delilah isn’t El. And neither of them are Nancy or Robin.”
“Yes, they are.”
“What—no—Eddie,” he can hear the exasperation in her voice now and now she’s talking with her hands, moving her whole body around like she does when she thinks the person she’s talking to is being a humungous moron. “You’re Lucy. Steve’s Delilah.”
“No,” Eddie says immediately.
“Um, yes! Just like you’re Ricky and Hector and Ronan and Jamie and Peter and Steve’s Brad and Tim and Adam and Martin and Matt.” She lists off the characters from his books.
“What? No.”
“Eddie, you’ve been writing a love story for you and Steve since the beginning,” Max tells him. “Aren’t you supposed to be the smart one here? Of the two of you?” Under her breath, she adds, “how is Steve the one who’s known all along?”
Eddie’s head snaps up to look at her then. “What.” It’s not a question. “What did you say?”
“I said,” Max says at a normal volume, enunciating, “How is Steve Harrington the one who’s known everything all along?”
“What does that mean?” His voice is getting increasingly desperate, pleading. “Max, what do you mean?”
Max rolls her eyes. “Steve’s been in love with you since you were twenty years old. He’s been waiting for you to figure out your shit. He’s read all your books. He’s watched you date other people and he hasn’t dated anyone. He’s waited for you, Eddie. He’s waited for you to decide what you want.”
Eddie can’t feel his hands. His feet are tingling, like they’ve fallen asleep. He can’t breathe. “He’s been waiting for me?” It comes out as a whisper.
“Yes, but…” Max trails off, looking at him with pity in her eyes. “When he left, I told him to stop waiting. I told him he deserved to be loved by someone who was brave enough to really love him.” He looks at her, an accusation in his brown eyes. “I didn’t think you were actually fucking stupid! I thought you were making a choice. I didn’t realize you really didn’t know that you could have him.” She rolls her eyes. “Didn’t he kiss you at the Golden Globes? And you left with that musician anyway. Even after that, Steve still waited. And didn’t he confess to you three nights ago? Didn’t he tell you what he wanted?” Max kind of looks like she’s on the verge of tears now and Eddie’s pretty close behind her.
30: Is there a fic,written by someone else, that you would love to do a remix of? What is it and why?
oooohhhhhh, i don't know! all of my favorite fics are absolutely perfect as they are, but! i've read a kind of bring it on steddie au that i completely lost track of, but i think it would be fun to do like a real, proper bring it on au where eddie joins the team reluctantly and falls in love with head cheerleader steve. hijinks ensue. i can't think of a specific fic that i would remix tho!
thank you <3 :3
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This post is titled: I have the best readers in the world!
I’m sure I’m not alone in this, but when life gets tough, I go back and re-read the comments you lovely people have left on my works. And sometimes I cry because it’s so nice, and heartwarming, and sometimes painful when you share your own struggles with me. But mostly I just feel very, very loved and appreciated. And I try my very hardest to answer every single comment I get and talk to you, but sometimes I don’t manage to do it. So I wanted to give back a little and share with you my most favorite comments I received over the time I’ve been posting.
It’s part 1, obviously, and only from The Lab (my most popular fic as of now), so there is more to come. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do! There are many more that I have saved but they are quite spoiler-y and I don’t want to post them here just in (the very unlikely) case someone would get upset.
This is getting really long and sappy so I’ll hide the rest to not spam your feed. It’s just too many feelings, feel free to skip that.
There are so many great comments I got! And I appreciate every single one - the funny ones, the short ‘loved this’ notes, the key-smashes. I love the long ones, the ones where you cite my story back to me and comment on the little details, the ones where you ask me questions that sometimes aren’t related to the chapter at all, the ones where you tell me how you missed bus stops or classes or work hours because you had to read the update. I love it when you tell me that you’re re-reading my stories, or that you feel for the characters as if they were alive, or that you like my writing style and worldbuilding, or that my smut is making you feel some sort of way :) I love it when people comment that they don’t speak English well (which they always do, like, babe, come on, you’re good) but still wanted to tell me how much they liked my work, or when you say that you can’t find the right words to express how much I managed to make you feel, or that you usually never comment or interact with stories but mine is an exception.
I have readers that tell me that my stories are their favorite. Not only that they liked them. No. That The Lab is their #1 fic. That this is their holy grail wolfstar story. That you re-read it multiple times. That I (for some reason I will never understand) am one of their favorite authors on AO3. I don’t believe you, of course, but I am so touched by the sentiment.
I have readers that I know by name, and every time they pop up in my email notifications I just smile like mad before I’ve even read the comment because I know it’s going to make me melt (you know who you are, babes, you’re all here on Tumblr with me for some reason). And some of you send me dms and I always be here to chat with you if you want. And some just like or reblog every stupid thing I post, whether it’s about how Remus from BA smells (lol) or actual worthwhile bonus content. Some don’t do anything and just follow, and I see you, okay :) I love every single one of you.
I have readers that read every damn thing I post on AO3. Like, you’re not only my ‘frequent flyers’, you are literally my support system. For fuck’s sake, a good number of you commented on Berlin Angel’s first chapter only minutes after I posted, telling me how excited you were to see me again so soon and that you haven’t even read the chapter yet and you already know it’s going to be good. Do you have any idea how much this means to me?
I just wanted to tell you that when I started posting The Lab, I never anticipated the overwhelmingly positive response I got. I thought that maybe some people will read it, and maybe if I’m lucky I’ll get some kudos. But, oh boy, you swept me off my feet! This story is literally my baby, I just know that I will never write anything better than that, and I appreciate it so so much that you liked it and chose to stick around.
And, you know, most of the people that follow me and read everything I post aren’t even commenting at all. And this post is for you as well. I don’t see you, but I know you’re there, and you are also valid and important to me.
You are the reason I keep writing, and posting, and fantasizing. My stories are my escape from all the shit that is going on in my real life. You are the reason I have that escape.
Thank you.
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Fic Recs (cause it's always nice to give a shout out and get people into things I'm into rn)
[The Magnus Archives] (I recently finished the podcast and I fell into a hole for a while so here you go)
Sing a Song of Sixpence by Kaiel
Ship: Jon/Martin
In which Jonathan Sims is a Siren, and he fails to notice any new abilities granted to him by the position of Archivist. Or really anything about the Entities at all.
Takes place in season 1 featuring Jonah Magnus’s slow decent into madness
(The new mythology interwoven with tma's worldbuilding is so freaking good and I love how all the characters change and develop because of these changes. Also, f you Elias)
Along Came a Spider by Dribbledscribbles
Ship: implied Jon/Martin
Sasha James is the Archivist, as expected. Martin Blackwood is menaced by Jane Prentiss, as expected. Elias Bouchard weaves his web, as expected.
All goes as it should.
At least until something calling itself Jonathan Sims steps in.
(Web!Jon in this makes me want to weep, it's so freaking good. A pretty long, very excellent oneshot on what could've happened if Jon got taken by the web when he was a kid. And Sasha as the Archivist is ALWAYS so cool, we love her in this house.)
A Break in the Clouds by Ash_Rabbit
“I’m eight.” the kid sniffs as if eight was any different from four, maybe not an unspeakable horror then, just a regular horror. “And I heard that the Magnus Institute deals with-” his little nose scrunches, cute. “-spooky things.”
“Do you have a-” he cracks a grin, and then rethinks it as small hands tighten against their burden.”-spooky thing to deliver?” gods he hopes not, it’s bad enough when adults walk in and lay out all of their baggage, but for a child-
“There’s a spider in this book.” the kid says solemnly, raising his textbook sized parcel. “It ate Evan Pritchard.” a bloody fucking Leitner. Of course an eight year old would find a murder spider book. “This seemed like the best place to bring it.”
(I never thought about what the Original Elias could've been like AND NOW I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT BECAUSE OF THIS FIC. I LOVE HIM, HE'S COMPLEX AND HE CARES AND JON CARES AND THEY BOTH CARE ABOUT EACH OTHER. THIS IS THE CONTENT I WANT, OMG. Also, Jon being even smaller than usual is adorable, so cute. No wonder Elias wants to hug him, a LOT.)
See the Line where the Sky meets the Sea by The_Floating_World
Ship: Jon/Martin, Jon/Oliver Banks
When Jon is a child he looks into the infinite abyss of space. The Vast looks back into him.
(One of my all time fave fics in this fandom, no questions asked. I have reread this three times and am open to doing it again, god. Vast!Jon, such a concept. It's written so beautifully and the relationships Jon develops, so good. ugh. My heart. Please please read.)
Sweet As Roses by Prim_the_Amazing
Ship: Jon/Martin
“Come in, Martin,” he says, not looking up from his notes.
“Hi, Jon,” he says, and Jon stops writing at the sound of his voice. “We’re out of the green tea, but we’ve got lemon?”
Jon looks at him. Martin smiles at him in his usual tentative way as he sets the mug of tea down on Jon’s desk. Heat spikes so sharply in his gut that he twitches with it.
“Thank you, Martin,” he says, mouth dry, and he stands up.
“Oh,” he says, sounding almost surprised. He smiles again. “No-- no problem-- um, what are you--”
Jon takes Martin by the shoulders, leans up on the tips of his toes, and kisses him.
(You have no idea how much I howled through this fic, my god. *buries face in hands* The number of times I wanted to cry from sheer hilarity and horror reading this good lord.)
Things Could Always Be Worse by theOestofOCs
Ship: Jon/Martin, Georgie/Melanie
Sometimes, the most horrifying thing of all is what might have been.
Somewhere, Jon could swear he heard a crowd laughing.
Or: in which Jonathan Sims is forced to swap places with his alternate self—a tall, chivalrous hero extraordinaire, who knows neither fear nor nuance—and is sent to the aggressively straight alternate universe the Magnus Archives was never meant to be.
“Whatever place this is,” Jon announced, “I just want to be sure it knows I hate it.”
(I will say this once, THIS IS THE MOST CURSED THING IVE EVER READ EVER. Like holy hell. I can't believe this thing exists. please read it oh please please please)
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[Supernatural]
heard from your mother (she don't recognize you) by Schmuzz
Ship: Dean/Cas, Jessica/Sam
A man named Cas wakes up in 2003 with no memories, but he's able to piece together a few things:
1. Supernatural creatures exist, and most of them will hurt innocent civilians if he doesn't stop them;
2. He has abilities that no human hunter should have, but he knows enough about human hunters to keep that to himself, and finally;
3. He keeps running into another hunter named Dean Winchester, who seems to be about as lonely as he is if he's willing to put up with those former facts long enough to help Cas unravel the mystery of who (or what) he really is.
For his part, Dean's still (not) dealing with Sam's departure to Stanford, and figures distracting himself with a bit of mystery and intrigue is as harmless as it gets, right? Right.
(THE fic I'm most into right now, been following this from the very start and it's AMAZING. Cas has agency and is making friends and S1 Dean is growing out of John's influence and is becoming a Person and the both of them first being friends then more. The slow burn as their relationship develops, SO GOOD. SO SO DAMN GOOD. *screams* Seriously one of the best spn fics I've read in a long, long time.)
anamnesis by cenotaphy
Ships: Castiel/Dean, Sam/Eileen
Chuck is depowered, Jack is the new god, and the world is free. Dean and Sam get into the Impala and chase down the miles on an endless highway, and their story is finally, finally their own to follow. At least, that's what Dean tells himself. But the diners and motels and painted interstate lines are blurring together and the smallest details keep catching at his brain like tiny fishhooks and he can't quite shake the feeling that not everything is exactly as it should be.
*
Fix-it/alternate series finale. Canon-compliant through the end of 15.19.
(THIS IS THE FIC THAT GOT ME THROUGH THE FINALE OKAY. WHY COULDN'T THIS HAVE BEEN CANON. It's Disturbing and honestly plot-wise this makes more sense. Why couldn't we have had this. *screams*)
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[Avatar: The Last Airbender]
where the stars do not take sides by WitchofEndor
Ship: Sokka/Zuko
When Azula is nine, she becomes an only child. She hears the Fire Lord call for Zuko's life, and in the morning, her mother and brother are gone. Azula may be young, but she isn't naive. She knows what happened to them.
Which makes it all the more surprising when Azula tracks the Avatar down and fights his group of peasant friends, only to find herself staring into an eerily familiar face.
(The fact one of the tags in this fic is, "Sibling Dynamic: Fucked Up But Wholesome" should give you an idea what this fic is like. Chaotic as HELL and I just love Azula here, she loves Zuko so much in her messed up way and Zuko loves her back in the exact same way lol. It's batshit and I am Here For This.)
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[Naruto]
Eclipse by AislingRoisin (JayBird345) for HybrisAnaideia
Ship: Nara Shikaku/OFC
"In life, it's easier to remain stagnant and wallow in your troubles. But life isn't merely about continued existence, nor is it meant to be gone through alone."
(This is a fic that's slept on and I NEED people to read this. A self-insert fic that I find really interesting in its approach and the worldbuilding for the post-third war shinobi world is fantastic. I feel like there's a certain pattern with self-insert fics, not that is a detriment in any way to how much I enjoy them, so this fic feels fresh to me in a way I haven't read in a while. I am waiting eagerly for this to get updated! Please read!)
On Freedom and Other Formalities by iaso
Ship: Kakashi/Genma/OFC
When push comes to shove, Hiwa Inuzuka doesn't go down easy. Reborn into a new, dangerous world? She puts her past life as a spy to work. Thrown into a war? Hiwa does her duty, for Konoha. And when she's forced into an arranged marriage? All there is to do is beat them to the punch and get married first. Thankfully, Genma Shiranui is willing to lend a hand. Literally. SI/OC
(Listen, LISTEN, it's about the slow burn, the longing, the communication (it both has and hasn't and isn't THAT great??), the messy way you fit three very different people together, it's so freaking good! Also, Kakashi is so Chaotic here this is my fave characterization of him, you can't change my mind. And Genma is a Good Boi who is Doing His Best, along with the Self-insert character who I LOVE SO MUCH, SHE'S FANTASTIC FNEIWOPAF. Sped past this fic in the speed of light, I could not stop reading!)(Honestly, read all of the author's fics, they're all really REALLY good!)
Building a Castle by WhisperingDarkness
Without needing anyone to tell her, Sakura knew that talking to someone no-one else could see or hear would make her weird. It would draw the bad kind of attention to her, something people could make fun of her for.
She didn’t like being weird, but she did like the voice. Her inner voice was helpful and it was a part of her that had always been there. The idea of it not being there would have been so much weirder than anything else.
It was during her first year at the Academy that Sakura realised the voice was not in her head at all, but that it came from a cloudy shape floating next to her.
(Basically a short-ish retelling of Hikaru no Go. Only with more Shogi and Nara and Ninja's)
(Sakura can see ghosts (I'm noticing this is a popular trope for her) and it's really cute haha! Her relationship with Tobirama is sweet and I just enjoyed reading this so much.)
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[The Magicians]
So Long (And Thanks For All The Books) by IncompleteSentanc (Erava)
Ships: Quentin/Eliot, James/Julia, Quentin/Margo/Eliot
When Quentin is told Julia wasn't admitted to Brakebills, he realizes he has a drastic decision in front of him. If he tells Julia about magic, he'll have his mind wiped as well as hers. But he can't just leave her behind, either. He can't lose his best friend, and he can't let her life a life with her magical potential stolen away from her.
So he makes a third choice.
(Really, and I mean REALLY well-done canon divergent fic, this is the Quentin & Julia friendship fic I have been looking for forever. It explores so much of what could've happened and I just love Quentin here, I really really do. Characterization done so right. I also recommend the author's other works too. Been a follower of them for a long time, they're great.)
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[Game of Thrones]
The Road to Victory by writing_as_tracey
Too late in preparing for the Night King and the Long Night, the last stand at Winterfell is close to falling. Bran takes desperate measures to ensure victory, and Jon, Sansa, and Arya pay the price for it in a time unfamiliar to them, on the cusp of another war. [GoT, time-travel fix it]
(I swear, this fic made me laugh so many times, all the Stark are BAMF and fantastic, and Rhaegar gets Wrecked lol. It's crack btw, and the plot goes in directions you'll never guess and it's amazing hahaha!)
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[Haikyuu!!] (I am very very late to the fandom but here I am)
Ballare (To Dance) by MidnightSparks
Ship: Iwaizumi Hajime/Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru, and platonic Kageyama & Kentarou (really love their friendship)
Kageyama’s first love is volleyball. His second, however, is ballet.
In one world, Kageyama Tobio is left behind by his parents. In this world, the existence of soulbonds keeps Kageyama’s parents in Miyagi and leaves Kageyama in the care of his grandma and grandpa.
(In which soulmates exist and that changes everything and nothing at the same time.)
(*buries face in hands* I have fallen for this ship so hard and I can't get out fudge me. I understand now. Their DYNAMICS FIEWONPAF)
Kings of Tomorrow by bokubroya (liarielle)
Ship: Kageyama Tobio/Oikawa Tooru
On the eve of Tobio’s 16th birthday, he counts down the seconds to midnight, and emerges with Oikawa Tooru’s name on his wrist.
It’s been two years since then, and Tobio thought they had an understanding. A silent, never spoken about understanding that this thing between them is nothing, and they’re going to pretend it doesn’t exist.
Of course, it’s just like Oikawa to change the game and leave Tobio wondering what comes next.
(I am WEAK for soulmate fics between these two, I don't even really like soulmate fics half the times what is WRONG WITH ME-)(Please suffer with me, I'm begging you. Its a good fic, thumbs up.)
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[Crossover]
Honey and Magic by JustARatherVerySillyWriter, White_Squirrel for Super Carlin Brothers
Fandoms: Matilda (yeah you read that right), Harry Potter
Everyone knew Matilda was a rather extraordinary child, but even she didn't know she was a witch. Matilda Honey receives her Hogwarts letter in the year of the Triwizard Tournament, and soon, she will leave her unique mark on the magical world.
(Do I even need to explain how amazing it is to have Matilda in the wizarding world? And Matilda is a HUFFLEPUFF AND I WILL DIE ON THIS HILL THIS FIC IS GREAT PLEASE READ!!!)
An Eye for an Eye by DpsMercy
Fandoms: The Magnus Archives, Welcome to Night Vale
In which Jonathan Sims is not from the UK but instead, if you took his origins and turned them sideways twice then flipped them over, he technically would be from the US, the town of Night Vale specifically.
Elias can’t do shit about it and gets a headache and slowly creeping madness instead.
(Look, I know probably everyone has read this because if they haven't, what have you been DOING with your lives??? Jon interning at Night Vale is Incredible, nothing phases this man, it's Delightful. I laughed so many times reading this, I'm not even kidding right now. Read or perish.)
The Favour by R_Cookie
Fandoms: Harry Potter, Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them
Ship: Original Percival Graves/Harry Potter
Percival is ten years old when his grandfather tries to tell him that he's ensured the greatness of the Graves legacy for him, that he ought to be eternally grateful - but the explanation is hijacked by a stranger who manages to intimidate Chester Graves with an ease never seen before.
or: Hadrian (Harry) Potter is the Master of Death, who grants Graves a boon. Nobody could have known that the Deathly Hallows didn't turn you so much into the 'Master of Death' as into the anthropomorphic personification of Death. And so, Death becomes Percival's guardian angel, and Percival does not spit out his cereal.
(Look, I don't know how I stumbled back into the FBAWTFT fandom either, it just happened and I'm grateful for that. Otherwise, I wouldn't have found this amazing fic. Their relationship is slow and strange and I just love how Percival is characterized here. Also, one of the tag promises that it deviates from canon so I am really, really excited for that! XD)
baby that's what i do by natanije
Fandoms: Naruto, Katekyou Hitman Reborn!
"Are you telling me," Hidan exclaims, incredulous, "that you collect money all this time to give to orphans?!"
Kakuzu pauses. He blinks a few times.
"Huh. I guess I do."
(Tsuna reincarnates as Kakuzu and it's HILARIOUS. HE'S SUCH A MOM HAHAHA)
#Fanfiction#AO3#Fic Rec#Fic Rec List#Podcasts#The Magnus Archives#Supernatural#Avatar The Last Airbender#Naruto#The Magicians#Game of Thrones#Haikyuu!!#Crossover#Matilda#Welcome to Night Vale#Harry Potter#Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them#Katekyou Hitman Reborn
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so what animes have you seen already?
Oh boy! Not many tbh, I only really started watching it last winter when my roommate asked if I wanted to give it a try! I haven’t watched anything from any studio that did Visions (yet), but I wanna soon!
Animes I HAVE seen, in order:
Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood — Aight so when roomie suggested we watch an anime, a friend who had seen a lot of them recommended this one to watch first as it was a good “starter anime”, and y’all idk if it’s just because it’s the first one I watched but I’ve still gotta call it my favorite one because y’all it’s SO FUCKING GOOD. Like that’s understatement of the century but I don’t have time to write an essay on why it’s so good lol just trust me it’s GOOD. 11/10s on EVERYTHING about it. Plot, characters, setting, everything. My one sadness is that I would not be good at writing fic for it lol.
Demon Slayer — YouTube AMVs and seeing it pop up on Netflix had us start this one next and y’all it’s probably the prettiest anime I’ve seen like ever, like the art style is chef’s kiss. Amazing story and AWESOME characters too, very good, 10/10 would recommend. I think I could write a decent fic for it if a plot ever came to me.
The Great Pretender — The only non-action/fight anime on the list, roomie and I tried it out because we figured we should see something different? It was on Netflix so we looked. It was good, clever writing, good characters got a little bit weird in the second season, particularly at the end, but overall it’s a decent watch. I could write fic for the shipping aspect but again, no plot ideas because the plot is fuckin weird.
Akame Ga Kill — Roommate had seen this before, recommended it to me. The characters were decent, setting was interesting! Pretty art style too, but I was like, verrrrry critical of the plot throughout the entire singular season lol, so take that as you will. Actually no yeah plot was kinda wack. My fave character deserved better tho.
Castlevania — Okay okay I know I know not an anime, but it’s a similar artstyle. (Also I think the game it’s based off of is a Japanese game?) Actually watched the first two seasons a while ago, but then watched the third and fourth with roommate. Y’all it’s REALLY good, literally everyone in the damn show is fucking hot and I’m jealous, I ship the throuple HARD hard. I think I could maybe write a decent fic for it if, again, I had any plot motivation lol
Trese — Again, cheating because not anime, but this one is still non-Western (Filipino) media and it’s glorious. I’ve never seen an episode of Supernatural but I feel that this show is like, what Supernatural wishes it could be. Another gorgeous artstyle and I’m so gay for the MC and the first season left me with so many questions so I really hope it gets another one! I gotta get around to reading the webcomic
D.Gray-Man — Okay this one is entirely the fault of @jasontoddiefor who got back into it and promptly dragged everyone he knew down with him, and I am so very glad he did because this is a fantastic— and I’d argue relatively underrated —series. Artstyle is gorgeous (certain characters be very hot), the character arcs are brilliant, I love all the characters, and the worldbuilding is so friggin creative, like I’d put it up there as another one of my faves. I actually did write a fic for this, but publishing a fic in an unfamiliar fandom is terrifying and bad for my anxiety and it’s gonna take me like five more years to work up the courage to do it again lol.
Sword Art Online — Currently watching right now with roommate. I heard some not very good things about it, but my roommate wanted to give it a try so I sat down and watched with them. Sure enough it’s been a case of half the time I’m flailing over the nice animation and how creative the worldbuilding is and the charm and potential all the characters have……………….. and then the other half of the time I’m banging my head against the wall repeatedly because it pulled some seriously stinky bullshit lol. So yeah watch it’s promising but also Suffer in not the good way.
Fire Force — Also currently watching! On my own this time, roommate already watched and recommended. This one is VERY good, like I am super into the plot and the setting and everything to do with the universe. Still getting into the characters and it’s taking a bit more time? So the watch is going slower than usual, but that’s alright! The entire premise makes up for it.
So that’s all the anime I’ve seen! I’ve also seen 2.5 Studio Ghibli movies and they are all JUST as good as people say they are (Kiki’s Delivery Service, Howl’s Moving Castle, and bits and pieces of Princess Mononoke) 1000/10 recommend.
You didn’t ask about the manga I’ve read but I’ll list them anyway! For the record I’m not a huge manga reader because my eyes find it hard to see the illustrations when everything is in different shades of black and white, it makes action scenes in particular really difficult to read, which is a problem when you usually like action plots
Demon Slayer — The anime isn’t complete yet and after the movie I wanted to know MORE so I hunted down the manga and binged it all. Y’ALL GOTTA READ IT IT’S STILL SO FUCKIN GOOD AND I’D DIE FOR SO MANY CHARACTERS I’M IN LOVE WITH SO MANY
D.Gray-Man — Same thing as Demon Slayer, the anime isn’t complete yet and neither is the manga BUT so I read the rest of what’s been written. Hoo hoo HOO I hope they animate more of it because the plots coming up are brilliant and I want it
My Hero Academia — Look, EVERYONE is yelling about this one and it trends like once a week and like five irl friends love it so I figured there was too much anime out but I had to know so I’d just skim the manga just to figure out what the fuck the hype was. It’s good, lol, I totally get the hype now, the strength is in the worldbuilding and a whole handful of extremely interesting yet surprisingly simple character types that work to drive the plot forward. There is so much potential here and I could definitely write fic for this but I am not touching that fandom with a ten foot pole and that’s coming from a Star Wars fan 😂
Yona of the Dawn — Currently reading this!!!! Ok so there’s a season of an anime out for this, I walked in to see my other roommate watching what was probably one of the horniest scenes in it. I was immediately like “👀👀👀👀 shit fuck that’s hot do these heteros have rights????” I was about to plop my ass down and start watching but roommate was like “oh there’s only one season and it’s unfinished and I know you don’t like unfinished stuff” so I promptly got my ass up and googled the manga so I could see more. Y’all it is GOOD, if you love the dramatic romances from Star Wars this is RIGHT up your alley and dare I say better, the plot is lovely, the characters are great, and I am SO MAD there’s only one anime season. I’d absolutely write fic for this if I was more confident, I have so many polyship ideas!!!!!!
#SORRY FOR RAMBLING Y’ALL#next anime i wanna watch is jujutsu kaisen i’ve heard so many good things about it!!!!!!#or maybe promare cuz i wanna support the visions studios!#so yeah i’m an anime newb y’all can judge me on my tastes if you agree or not or give recs!#morai musings#not star wars#long post
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Hi! I really love your Engineer Luke verse and I was wondering if you have any writing advice about drafting, editing, and then also making the time (because I think you mentioned that at least this installment is entirely drafted, and also that you may be writing more than 50k this month? which is really really amazing and also awe inspiring) Anyways I hope you have a good day!!
Alright, anon, this took a bit of time, but I wanted to be able to give you the best answer I possibly could.
The truth is, half the time I don’t even believe I’m a decent writer, let alone a good one, so answering this required a bit of battling with my imposter-syndrome. Because in all honesty? I largely just fuck around until I accidentally stumble upon something that could work. The Guides? Born entirely out of fucking around with @jasontoddiefor who encouraged and shamelessly enabled my crack ideas until they crystalized into something more than just crack.
So that’s where I advise to start: don’t take yourself seriously. Be crazy. Be ridiculous. Think of something utterly mad and then do it with a completely straight face. Think of something that makes you go “This is utterly ridiculous and too large for me and I won’t be able to pull it off” and then do it anyway. The Guides started as little more than crack and ridiculousness and even now, with all the plot and ideas and character studies and sheer worldbuilding poured into it, I still treat it primarily as something meant to make me happy. And what makes me happy is what the Guides are right here, right now.
Start there. With something that makes you laugh and cry and, above all else, happy. Nothing is too silly and every idea is worthy. That is your starting point.
Okay, so you’ve done that. Now what?
Well, now the actual plotting starts, and I want you to promise one thing: Keep it fun. If you aren’t having any fun working on the plot, I guarantee you you will burn out on the story even fast. Make it fun, make it wild, ignore plot holes if it means giving something up that makes you happy or patch them up with something makes you even happier. Konmari your plot and only keep what sparks joy. Talk to your friends, even if they aren’t writers, and ask if you can use them as a sounding board. Rubberduck method your plot like any good programmer does. Trust me, it does wonders.
As for how much you need to plot, that’s up to you. I personally like to wing it and work out of my own head with only the major story beats figured out and a few scenes, and just fly by the seat of my pants in between there. I have plans for the Guides, but those are mostly the large, overarching story lines and for the rest I just let the story flow as it wills.
Now you have a plot, congrats! Let’s get to drafting.
For that, I advise that you know how you want your story to end, how you want it to begin, and what you want to include. All those little scenes and sentences and other things you thought up? Now’s the time to start fiddling with them and figure out how to get them in. It doesn’t have to be any concrete plan, for me, personally, I just write and then realize that hey, with this written, next chapter I can do this and just do it. No thoughts, no planning, just bounding after a shiny idea like a dog after a squirrel.
If you’ve done that, it’s time to get to writing.
For that, I give you Jackdaw’s Amazing Writing Guide: How To Write Like A Madman
-First, make sure you’ve got everything you need. In my case this is a full pot of tea (hydration), noise canceling headphones, and whatever sounds you like to write to (in my case I use tabletopaudio.com whenever I can muzzle Vader from wanting to listen to freaking Dear Theodosia again I SWEAR TO THE GODS VADER) Ahem.
-Second, set up some kind of reward system for your brain for that sweet, sweet dopamine. I use the nanowrimo website year-round because seeing all the numbers tick up makes my brain go weee! It can be stickers, sweets, anything what have you. Just something that gives immediate gratification and shows that you made tangible, visible progress.
-Third, eliminate “hard goals.” Set one wish for how much you want to write that day and be prepared to not make it. Not a goal. A wish. In my case, I wish to write 5k a day. Do whatever you feel comfortable with. I like to set a goal I know is a lot of work to get there or that I even might now reach because it keeps me focused, but something else may work for you. Set a goal that’s ridiculously easy because beating it makes you write more. Set a goal that’s moderately challenging because trying to reach it makes you write more. Set a goal that’s impossible because striving for the holy grail makes you write more. You know your brain, work with it instead of against it.
-Fourth, start writing. Just. Writing. Drink you liquids. Try to click away from your writing page as little as possible if you can make your brain work that way
-Fifth, use the reward system whenever your attention begins to drift or just because you feel like it. Wrote a chunk? Use them reward. Wrote one line? Use them rewards. Just. Whenever you feel like you need a reward. Trust me. Your brain knows better than that little shitheel voice telling you you need to “earn” it.
-Sixth, take breaks. No, seriously. Take breaks. For every twenty minutes working/writing, take a five minute break. Spent two hours working? Take a thirty minute break. It helps so much.
-Seventh, Drink your goddamn liquids. Dehydration is no bueno, and it makes for a Bad Time.
-Eight, rinse, repeat, and be proud at the end of the day of how much you’ve written, no matter how “little.” You made words! Be kind to the words, they’re only tiny and newborn, so be proud of them.
-Ninth, talk to people! Eat! Drink! Sleep! Take a walk! Take your meds! Do your fucking selfcare, you hear me?
And for the rest, find time whenever you’re comfortable. A little time before homework and you want to write? Write! Just had a horrible zoom meeting and you’re really in the mindset to write that knockout drag-out fight your characters need to have? Write! It’s dark and cold outside but you just had dinner and you’re feeling good? Write! Just find a little time whenever, and write however much you can, and then be proud of yourself!
You wrote! That’s huge! You made words that didn’t existed before and that’s something that deserves a pat on the back! Punch your depression/anxiety/dysmorphia/imposter-syndrome in the fucking dick with the fact that you created! You’re here! You made an impact! You’re real and amazing and you’re gonna do whatever the hell you want!
And you’re gonna show everyone how goddamn incredible you damn well are.
Now go forth and write!
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what did you dislike in death parade? i remember only starting it years ago but don't recall much now
oh I saw it years ago too...like in high school? and I still have no idea why I stuck it out to the end. every single episode just made me so angry and miserable. I ended that show feeling empty and gross and the only thing I was glad about was that I wouldn't have to watch another episode. like I do not recommend finishing it, anon. I put this under the cut for length
okay to start with pros, the opening was excellent, the animation was beautiful, and the character design was really fun. but outside of that...the vibes were miserable and it was written to be ansgty for no real reason. so almost every episode focused on a person who had recently died and often a loved one/someone connected to them who was also dead was there and these games in the bar would decide whether they went to hell or not...or something? and sometimes only one person could go to heaven? so you'd have really tragic and awful stories with good people who'd done nothing wrong being doomed for eternity...
so in the first ep there was a newlywed couple and something something the wife lied to the husband about cheating on him because she wanted him to be safe which sent her to hell even though she was a good person and he was legitimately horrible...like what's the fucking point? it was emotional torture porn. I don't remember a lot of the stories but every one I remember was deeply misogynistic and involved women suffering or sacrificing themselves for the men in their lives. like the female fan who was like 'it's my choice to die for my (male) idoll!' or something trying to spin it into like an empowerment scene? or the one about the girl who had been sexually assaulted who ended up in the afterlife with her brother and the cop who watched her being assaulted and did nothing because he needed evidence?? and the focus was more on her brother because he was really mad about it and not because SHE was the one who's been hurt? it was a setting disrespectful of its own characters, designed to put them in impossible and painful positions and to this day I don't know what the point of it all was thematically or narratively
like I get why fans would say 'oh it say a lot about the human condition!' but I really don't think it does, I think the writers just tried to make things as difficult and angsty as possible and try to pass it off as 'deep'. it said nothing meaningful, its recurring characters had basically no personality until the very end (which I found...not terrible but definitely not worth it), it was an angstfest and it treated women (and survivors of assault) like garbage while never interrogating why these things happened or exploring any other avenues for women to exist in or act. the recurring female character had memory loss and that meant she was very passive and had little personality for the majority of the show. the ending had some haunting scenes but it handled suicide extremely superficially and the main guy finally expressing emotions was not satisfying enough to make any of this worth it. I literally don't remember what happens to the woman and I know the bar system is still in place by the end so...idk I got no praise for the finale
mostly it just made me feel really shitty and hopeless and miserable, which I'm not looking for in my media. I like hopeful stories, stories that make me feel good, stories that provide some commentary or introspection, dark stories with hope and light at the end of them, and fun stories, or at least stories that make a unique point or make their point in a unique way. and dp wasn't any of those for me. it wasn't even engaging or entertaining! I couldn't stay emotionally invested because each main character was cycled out every episode and they all had horrible endings, the two recurring characters had no relationship to speak of until the very end and seeminly no internality, and the worldbuilding was very bland. and it was not entertaining because...like I was bored most of the time. it actually made me feel the same way as f/ma 03 did by the end, or hann/ibal. in retrospect I have slightly more respect for 03 which despite its many flaws had some solid scenes and never bored me, and hannibal is genuinely well-made which is more than I can say for dp. its popularity really was a flash in the pan bouyed by pretty animation and a fun op, but it's nowhere now because it was a bad and shallow show. if it was still popular I'd hate it a lot more but some things deserve to be forgotten. so I'd say don't bother with it unless you like those darker stories, which I know some ppl do! but I just don't see any value in it
sorry for writing five paragraphs about a show I barely remember but I love getting asks like this because being a hater is such a beloved hobby of mine lol. so thanks anon! hope you have a good one
#the only anime I regret finishing more than this one was darker than black s2 and that is saying something#asks#suicide m#rape m#ask to tag
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About your post on the ending- me too! I’ve been getting a lot of hate for that lol I think it was an interesting choice that I understand
Why hello there Nonsie!!! (Just finished writing this and oops I accidentally went on a tangent lol) I’ve also seen a lot of posts with people angry and frustrated at Keefe, practically disowning him lol, but I just,,,,don’t have that reaction lol.
I personally don’t want Sophie to be mad when she finds out, or yell at him, or do anything that’s happened in the past. I think it would be much more crushing and interesting character development wise if she was just disappointed. Disappointed but not surprised, and she just quietly sighs, puts the letter aside, and takes a moment to think. I think she knew that Keefe would do something ill advised, even if she was hoping otherwise, and this is just confirming what she already knew. Also if you like angst, you could have the whole she and Keefe finally see each other again and he expects and braces for anger but there’s just this quiet disappointment that hurts so much worse
Anyways!! As I was saying, I loved the ending of Unlocked like so much. I loved the entire book ahem I may or may not like worldbuilding and I’m very excited for what’s next!! Keefe made what he thought was the smartest choice, and no he didn’t think it through from a perspective other than his own and no he didn’t fully investigate all his other options, but that’s who he is as a character. He latches onto the first solution he finds, often an extreme one because he doesn’t want to risk taking a milder approach and it not working and then he just wasted time.
He wants the answer and he wants it now, and there is no one who understands every facet of him and how it functions as a whole, and that’s okay and wonderful. The people around him will always work just a little bit different than him, they’ll always have different ideas and think different things make sense. That’s just a part of life.
And this was the decision he thought he needed to make based on what he knew about himself at the time. He needs space and he’s not getting it. He’s being told he needs to immediately be comfortable and work through a huge trauma, and that everything will get better. And it will, and he will need to work through it. But it’s only been like three fucking days. He hasn’t even fully registered the trauma or know what’s going on. Sometimes you need to hurt before you can start to heal, and no one was letting him hurt. They kept giving him pep talks and elixirs and saying they’ll fix it; just let this boy be in pain for a little bit, then he’ll be ready to work on it. I think they were all rushing him, and he wasn’t ready for that so he left.
The very first thing that happened when he woke up wasn’t, hey this thing is shitty and I’m sorry. We’re here for you, we’ll take things your way. We don’t know what’s happening to you so we’re gonna trust you and love you and trust what you decide to do (within reason). It was, everything’s going to be fine because we’re going to fix this problem, like he’s been awake for less than an hour chill out. Let him breathe. He doesn’t even know the full “problem” yet, he’s confused and physically hurting and tired and wants out of these conversations because he’s honestly not ready and you’re pushing him too hard.
And I want Sophie to understand that. I want someone for once to look at this situation and think, “hey. Why would Keefe do this.” And not just go “ugh that boy is making what I think is a bad decision based on what I know and not trusting us. How could he.” Because major decisions like this aren’t out of nowhere, there is always something behind them. They keep looking at it from their own perspectives, their own backgrounds and understanding of things. But this was Keefe’s decision, and they need to look at it using his logic to understand it. And I really hope they do. They can’t understand a Keefe decision if they only use their own logic.
Keefe wasn’t listening to other peoples input because he didn’t believe they had the full story. They didn’t understand everything going on with him, so their ideas and solutions would never be entirely accurate embecause they didn’t have the information he did, so he thought he was the most qualified to make the best decision. They were operating without vital information, he wasn’t.
#anyways can you tell I love him#I really said hang on let me infodump this character analysis real quick#and then I DID#anyways I’d love to talk about Keefe more#send more asks about him#I wanna talk about him#and literally anything else in unlocked#I love worldbuilding so you know I lost my shit this book#went absolutely feral#kotlc#unlocked#unlocked spoilers#Keefe sencen#keeper of the lost cities
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Children of Blood and Bone review
4.5/5 stars
Recommended for people who like: magic, fantasy, non-Western fantasy, multiple POVs, A Song of Wraiths and Ruins
I really liked the worldbuilding and thought the world was very vibrant. I liked that the story took us to multiple different places so we got to see a wide range of Orïsha's environments and people. Adeyemi did a good job of incorporating maji/diviners-kosidan relationships into each location so that they felt realistic. One town might have a mix of both where the maji/diviners get shaken down by the guards in a 'normal' way while the next might be brutal for the maji/diviners, and yet another might treat them as relative equals. The way the guards treated the maji/diviners was also realistic, unfortunately, and you can definitely see the influences of real-world laws and actions in the ones present in Orïsha.
The magic system overall makes sense and I don't think it needs a ton of explaining: diviners as baby!maji who will get their powers from one of the gods/esses at age 13, the magic is usually passed through the maternal line so kids tend to have the same kind of magic as the mom's, and there are chants/prayers/incantations to the gods that allow the magic to flow. Simple enough. However, the incantations end up getting a bit tricky later on in the book. For one, we pretty much always see Zelie using incantations when she calls her magic, but some of the other magic-using characters are never mentioned as using incantations. While some of them, like Zélie, probably remember a few from before the Raid, that can't be true for all of them, especially ones who are too young or who get a power that doesn't correspond with one their parent had. So that bit felt a little rushed, but overall I liked the magic system in the book and Zélie's way of describing magic was interesting.
As for Zélie herself: she's got a fire in her and she's determined to get things done, even if she sometimes doubts her abilities to lead. She balances herself quite well between being afraid of the guards and retaliation and rebellion, and generally seems to keep a good balance, though I do have to agree with Tzain that sometimes she does stuff without thinking. I particularly liked how much joy she took from her diviner/maji heritage and her awareness that simply living her heritage was rebellion within itself. There was a bit toward the end where she was getting doubtful about magic which was kind of confusing since she'd also used magic to fight and for more debatable reasons, but whatever. Overall I liked her character.
With Amari I was kind of lost at first as to how people could call her a badass, but I definitely get it now. I'll will admit that I didn't and still don't see how she and Zelie are such great friends. Friends, definitely. But best friends? I don't think they're there yet. Something I definitely appreciate about Amari was how willing she was to learn. Some of the things she came into contact with once outside the palace scared her, but she was open to explanations and other perspectives, which was great considering her upbringing (and considering Inan's chapters). I feel like Amari really came into herself in the second half of the book. She finally gets a chance to fight for something she believes in and I think it helped transform her character from someone who shied away from the blade she knew how to use to someone who would wield a sword to defend herself and others. I could definitely see her becoming a commander of some kind in the future, though I'm not entirely sure if 'queen' suits her (I am not entirely certain the title 'ruler' suits anyone in this book).
Inan is the last POV character and he was...he was a lot. Amari and Zelie are definitely my favorites, but Inan is someone I could probably do with having less page time. This boy has zero convictions of his own and is completely unable to look past his nose. Unlike Amari, he continues to believe his father's words even traveling around and doesn't really spare a second thought to how reality might actually be. The one thing I'll say in his defense is that Amari did have Binta growing up and was able to see that at least one diviner wasn't bad, which I do think helped for her to generalize this idea to other diviners/maji, whereas Inan didn't have a figure like that in his life. But enough of that. Inan is wishy-washy and swings one way then the other (though never completely all the way), and he is far too willing to return to his old ideals when things get challenging or scary. I mean, for fuck's sake he isn't even really the one suffering most of these times and is still all too ready to give up. Like, please grow a spine, buddy. I do think Adeyemi actually did a really good job of writing Inan in the sense that she manages to capture the effects abuse and gaslighting and show just how much of an effect those things can have on your psyche. So in that sense Inan was a 'good' character, but I don't think he's a good person nor do I like him.
Tzain was someone whom I felt was in the background for a lot of the book. He supports Zelie and is willing to go off with her to do all these things and protects her and stands by her even when she fucks up. He is also able to be nice to Amari despite her being the princess and the daughter of the man who caused a lot of his problems. From what we do see of him Tzain seems to have a good sense of humor and is funny at times. He's also clearly holding in a lot of pain, trauma, and responsibility, though he rarely shows it. I definitely think he feels responsible for his father and Zelie and that whenever something bad happens to either of them he feels guilty, even if there was nothing he could've done. While he blames Zélie for a lot of things, which I don't like AT ALL but at the same time understand needing to direct your anger somewhere, I get the feeling he's mostly blaming himself.
In terms of relationships. Someone please explain to me why there needed to be any in this book in the first place? Inan and Zélie are the main pairing, which is just dumb af since he wants to kill her for almost the entirety of the book then, after like two whole days of being together, they decide everything's fine and dandy and start kissing. I side with Tzain on this one, even if his phrasing wasn't great. I'll be honest, the Zélie and Inan's whole relationship just confuses me. I don't understand why they like each other other than 'insta-love' and I don't understand 1) why Zélie's willing to Risk It All after Inan being nice for two days, and 2) why she's willing to continue the relationship after what happens with Saran. Perhaps my biggest issue with them is Inan's so-called love wherein he thinks taking away magic will protect Zélie...completely ignoring the fact that part of Zélie is magic. *SPOILER, SKIP TO NEXT PARAGRAPH TO AVOID* That complete and utter dumbass doesn't seem to connect the fact that he stopped feeling Zélie's soul when Zélie stopped feeling magic. Like? Brains? No brains here. *SPOILER END*
Okay, moving on. Tzain and Amari have better prospects for romance. Adeyemi set them up from the very beginning, even if Tzain might've initially seen her as a pretty face. They grow to like and respect for one another and I feel like their relationship could actually go somewhere. But why, why oh why does Adeyemi make Amari mention the L-word? Like, honey, you are not in love with this boy after only knowing him a week. Crush, sure. Love, no. But that matters not, since there is at least the potential.
Actually, something re: relationships that I felt Adeyemi kind of brushed over (and it seems like other reviews also had this same thought) has to do with Amari. She is very much coded to be bi and it's written as if she and Binta had a romantic relationship, but Adeyemi never follows through with this. I honestly thought that Amari and Zelie were going to be the main pairing of the book at first, or failing that that Amari would have feelings for Zélie, Zélie wouldn't reciprocate, then Amari would move on to another female character. But nope. Nada. I mean, Tzain's good too, but it's just weird the way the whole thing with Amari's romantic interest(s) was/were written.
Now onto something else: the throne. While becoming the next ruler isn't an outright object for either Inan or Amari (or anyone else), being heir definitely sits on Inan's shoulders and drives a lot of what he does. Likewise, Amari comes to the realization that if she were the next on the throne she could help the diviners/maji and overturn the laws and the system that her father created. The current king, Saran, sucks all around and definitely doesn't deserve his head being attached to his body. But we already knew that. The point is, Inan is clearly not good for Orïsha because he can't form his own convictions and leans solely on what he's been taught to think is right. He does, however, think he is the only person who can keep Orïsha safe and protected. Amari, on the other hand, knows she won't be queen and doesn't seem to really want to be queen until she realized what that could mean for what she believes in. However, and there's always a 'however,' she also kind of has Mad Queen Energy about her at times after she makes this decision. She is, in my opinion, also not a great contender for the throne. As mentioned, I think she'd make a great general, but there's something about her that makes me hesitate before supporting her bid for the throne. Do I think she'd be better than Saran or Inan? Absolutely. But probably so would Yemi, that doesn't mean she should get the throne. Perhaps I am merely feeling particularly democratic today, but I don't believe an absolute monarch will help Orïsha. If we are being realistic, I don't even know if a democratic one would either, but power in the hands of a diverse many would probably be better than power in the hands of one.
Overall I enjoyed the story. I thought the plot was good and I enjoyed going with the characters as they (mostly) struggled to get magic back. Inan served to be a good character for demonstrating how our childhood can influence the kind of people we become and also serves as a nice foil to Amari, who has decided to be the opposite of her brother. Zélie is a good character to follow since she's so alive. She's got so much rage and love and fear and fire that pushes her every step of the way and helps her overcome so many things. I knocked off half a star for the frivolous reason that I don't like Inan and Zélie's romance and don't think it was necessary for the book.
I'll be honest, the book was great, it was tough for me to put down even when I needed to, but for some reason I just don't have any desire to find out what happens in the next one. It's a bit like A Song of Wraiths and Ruin like that for me. I just...don't feel it. I don't think it has anything to do with either book since I couldn't make myself finish reading a new book by one of my favorite authors even though I was enjoying it so...just that kind of year, I suppose.
#book#book review#booklr#tomi adeyemi#children of blood and bone#zelie adebola#magic#fantasy#ya fantasy#characters of color#multiple pov#non-western fantasy
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Which of your characters did you create first? Is that character significantly different now compared to when you first created them?
okay i wrote this at like 3am last night when i couldn't sleep and it makes absolutely no sense but i figured if there was anyone on this earth that would appreciate it, it might be you lol
It's kind of funny you should ask this because the last few days I've been reading the stuff I was writing when I first picked it back up this time last year and like. shit's changed a lot lol
Of like. the stuff I'm writing now uh TECHNICALLY Yixing came first because when I was first toying with the idea of running a dnd campaign of my own, I started coming up with some npcs just to like. get some inspiration I guess? (I'm pretty sure I've talked about this before...) So I didn't really have any ideas about a setting or a plot or anything but I had two very specific characters, and one of them was like. a classic drifter/outlaw type character. And his two defining features were that he had really long black hair and was covered head to toe in tattoos. And uh. Only one of those stuck lol (though in my dnd campaign he still does have the tats! And they are plot relevant lol) OH also it stands to say that in my campaign Yixing is a MONK WITH A GUN because he was originally a gunslinger but I didn't really like any of the way the gunslinger homebrew options worked, and a lot of them were basically monk adjacent so I turned him into a monk and made his fucking monastic weapon a GUN.
Also the other npc I made was a really bonkers woman that lives in the woods and thinks the world is about to end at any moment and is extremely magically adept and eats a whole lot of shrooms lmao. idk if she'll actually show up in the campaign but she has a character sheet ready just in case
anyway. Yes Yixing is WAY different. He still has the yeehaw flair but he was originally intended to be shady and self-serving and standoffish and the kind of person who will play all sides but still find a way to come out on top. (he is still like that in my campaign..... he's like a quadruple agent lmao SPOILER for my dnd campaign that nobody cares about: he CLAIMS to be working for Anwei but he's actually working for Ciaran who knows he's also working for Anwei but he's actually double-crossing them both AND someone else that he's working for because he has his own side hustle and honestly he may or may not end up being the actual Big Bad of the campaign. I don't know yet. I hope my sister isn't reading this lol) anyway again, in the context of my novel he's now only a little bit self-serving and he will probably complain if he's super inconvenienced by helping out other people but he's still going to do it. He's a GOOD PERSON and even though I still have an extremely detailed outline of the idea I had where the plot is basically the same but he's a real shithead instead, I can't bring myself to really entertain the idea because I like him being nice. :( the whole point is that he's been through hell and back and has had a really shitty life but still finds a way to be kind and to see the good in people in spite of it all!!!! I get like. really passionate about this. Like truly agonizing about it to no one but myself. I'm the one writing the damn thing I can do whatever I want so why do I care so much about an alternate reality where Yixing is a real bastard??? I do not know.
ANYWAY AGAIN. (now here is where we really lose the thread of the original question lol) This all goes back to dnd lol because as someone that is a hard atheist, it's like. tough for me to get into the whole uhhh god thing in fantasy settings (but in this case I'm talking dnd). Like they EXIST FOR REAL in the context of the game so when your cleric or paladin prays, someone is really listening. And I was like... hm. What if I want to write a campaign where they just aren't there? (and some of my friends said I couldn't because that's breaking the rules which is stupid.. I do what I want!!!) Or that they had otherwise abandoned humanity? So then because I played final fantasy x too much in my formative years, I had the idea of “what if the gods got really fucking mad about people forsaking religion and punished them?” which turned into “what if the gods just DIED suddenly and the world fell apart in the wake?” which turned into “what if the gods realized they sucked at their jobs and that humanity was unintentionally destroying itself so they made a pact to start over but when they tried to do just that, they accidentally killed themselves?” and that is........... mostly the so-called lore now (but there is definitely more but I can't say at this time because spoilers lol) uh. I forgot where I was going with this. OH. How the characters changed. WELL. Anwei has probably changed the least lol. She is still kind of mean and weird and thinks of herself and the others like her as Far Superior to everyone else, but she's no longer downright evil. At one point she was intended to be the villain!!! but I changed my mind because I love fellow mean lesbians so much. Also it was kind of uhh. low stakes with her as a villain/antagonist. She's a little shady and definitely still very manipulative and she gets mean when jealous but not like in her first iterations.... she does still sort of try to get yixing killed though lmao
Oh also Ciaran was the last of the three that I came up with lol which is funny considering he's like. such a big deal. The only reason he exists at all is because I wanted to come up with a real Corruption Arc kind of Guy because I am a big fan of those. Also I wanted the Big Bad in my campaign to be related somehow to the Big Good. And like. what better way to do that than siblings! And then I needed a way to make my Very Cool New npc connected to both of them somehow to make the whole uhhh revolver ocelot style mind games work so I sat down and was like. well. time to tell a tragic love story lol. soooooooooo uh Thank you dnd for inspiring me to write a trilogy of novels because I wanted to do a SINGLE basic worldbuilding exercise for my dnd campaign (that even now has only had uh. four sessions ever) while I was sad and lonely last summer.
I totally went off the rails with this question and I am sorry for that :( also I could write a thousand essays about how much I love Yixing and also how many versions of him there are in my mind lol he's like that one oc that everyone has that they find a way to put in everything always. he is my alternate universe oc. very versatile
#oc talk#really really really really went off the rails here#me at 3am: uhhhh what was the question again?#as i'm sitting there READING the question#i had a tough night sleeping last night lol#ALSO the thing about him being a bastard in an alternate reality is true yes but there's way more to it than just him being rude#which is why i cant bring myself to abandon that concept altogether but it's hard to make it work ._. i can't just mesh the two concepts#i mean. i guess i could but it would require a LOT of work and a huge conspiracy theory style corkboard. lots of red string
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