I did these instead of paying attention in class today
Plus Mirabelle!!
She’s so cute I love her !!!!11!1!
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your phone is still saved in my car's bluetooth memory and my phone still has nick's speakers system saved and every time i switch my pillowcases i do it the way regina taught dominic who taught me how to do it too.
i still flinch because of how [ ] hurt me yeah but a few weeks ago alex and i sat on their floor and talked about how i am able to touch the people i love now, when four years ago i couldn't stand any human contact at all, horrified by the way it made my skin crawl
i didn't remember about the trip we took once up into the rivers and mountains, how you'd been there too, wading deep in the water, how i gave you a rock after. i was scrolling in my instagram history trying to find something else completely and then all the sun of the day came back, how you and me and crisco and maddie all howled songs in the car the whole ride home, my foot to the floorboards, absolutely speeding. i take a lot of pictures because my brain barely holds my own name (it's like the scene in spongebob all the time up there, i tell ziara, because i talk on the phone now, a lot, the way you taught me to enjoy) and the pictures are really good because they're filled with my friends and my activities and the light in my life and the pictures are also really bad because sometimes i am reminded that i used to be horribly in love with you, the kind of love that blots out the sun and moon, no matter how many times other people said she's not good for you
so i go through my memories carefully like stepping through a blackberry bush because i don't know if im embarrassed or hurt but it doesn't feel good and my spotify still has the playlist saved from your birthday party like four years ago and google maps still remembers alison's old address on melrose street even though she moved like forever ago and in my notes app i have like 106 non sequiturs i can no longer parse but they must have been important enough to write down so i don't delete them just-in-case their meanings reveal themselves like fog parting over the bluegreen hills
the birds are singing and i know how to identify a robin because of edie and i know how to make a souffle set properly because molly showed me, her hair untangling from her high bun, gentle and pretty; and i know how to bake because my mama taught me and i had forgotten i wrote you a love poem but then onedrive says today in your memories
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It’s been a longstanding headcanon of mine for Piano Man’s real name to be Saburo Moroi, after the famous pianist/composer who was a close friend of the poet Chuuya Nakahara.
But when I started researching Moroi a bit deeper for the sake of my Flags backstory fic (which I am still writing, shockingly) I learned a new piece of info that added some fuel to my cracked-out fire:
“During his third year at university, Moroi formed a music group “Surya” (the “sun god” in Sanskrit) with his friends. It served as an organization for performing his own works, and by 1931 seven concerts had been given there. His activities with “Surya” brought wider recognition, and it also became a society for young literary men and artists, including Tetsutaro Kawakami, Hideo Kobayashi, Chuya Nakahara, Tatsuji Miyoshi, Hidemi Kon, Shohei O’oka and Kenzo Nakajima, many of whom were later to become renowned literary critics, poets and novelists.”
So not only were Moroi and Chuuya friends and collaborators, they were also part of the same coterie of up-and-coming young men founded by Moroi himself, with a catchy symbolic name and everything.
So now I’m a little more convinced I was on the right track with the whole "Piano Man is Moroi” thing, and my crack theory has evolved into believing that the Flags are a sort of callback to Surya.
Anyway here’s the musical booklet I gleaned this from: https://www.chandos.net/chanimages/Booklets/NA7162.pdf
P.S. The recording is on Spotify and I highly recommend the last three movements. They are Moroi’s magnum opus and they go HARD
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In another life
I wish I wouldn't have met you
In another life
I wouldn't have know you
In another life
I wouldn't have fell for you
Atlast this is not another life
This is the life I met you
This is the life I fell for you
But this is the life you didn't fall for me
This is the life you loved someone else than me
This is the life you forgot about me
And just like you the world too has forgotten me
Except the bright flowers who are like you
Carrying the story of me
In another life
You'd have met me first
In another life
You would have loved me first.
In Greek mythology, the sunflower is often associated with the myth of Clytie and Helios. Clytie was a water nymph, and deeply in love with the sun god Helios. Sadly, he left her for another goddess, and it’s said that Clytie watched Helios crossing the sky in his golden chariot for days, without any food or water. Eventually, she was transformed into a sunflower, and it’s said this is why sunflowers always face the sun.
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