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cloudspotterclub · 1 year

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reckless (j.p.)

Pairing: james x fem!slytherin!reader

Summary: You tend to keep everyone at arm's length, and they are more than happy to stay there. But not James Potter. It seems he's made it his life's mission to make you miserable, but you're usually able to tolerate his petty jabs. That is, until he pushes it too far and uncovers a truth about you. After that, the secrets just keep tumbling out, and James learns that some cuts can't be undone.

Word Count: 5.9k

Warnings: sooorta enemies to lovers, moderate injuries, cringe banter, slight angst, fluff, ending's a bit meh

a/n: I know I said I might post this in December, but I've just now stopped hating it enough to post it lol I'm sorry!

“Y/L/N.”

“Jesus, Potter!” You startled, scowling when your eyes landed upon the laughing Gryffindor.

James smirked as he looked down the length of the fourth-floor corridor, which was completely deserted. “Aw, what’s wrong? Did the floor clear out the second you stepped in?”

“I know you’re a bit dim, so I’ll spell it out for you. I’m not fond of company, and I came here specifically to avoid the likes of you. Do me a favor and kindly piss off,” you spat, turning back to the book in your hands.

James snatched the book away, strutting around as he obnoxiously read the front cover, “The Philosophy of the Mundane.” He paused, arching his eyebrows. “Hang on a minute, what are you doing with a muggle book?”

You felt your face redden in a mix of embarrassment and annoyance as you stared him down. “It’s not a muggle book. It’s a book about muggles.”

“That doesn’t answer my question. Slytherins hate muggle stuff.”

You fought to contain the building frustration within you, knowing James was baiting you. You weren’t going to give in this time.

You got up, walking right up to his chest. “You don’t know as much as you think you do, golden boy.”

The bespectacled boy leaned down, challenging you. “Yeah? What don’t I know?”

You matched his determined glare as you leaned up, your nose barely brushing against his. You allowed your eyes to briefly flick to his lips before meeting his pupils once again.

“I’d tell you,” you breathed, watching as the daring look began to leave his face.

“But then I’d have to kill you.” You smirked, ripping your book out of his now-lax grip.

“Hey—”

“Don’t tempt me, Potter,” you said boredly as you sat back down on the ledge by the window. “I already want to kill you, it’s just a matter of how soon you force my hand.”

He ignored your threat, sitting across from you in the cramped space. “What was that about, Y/N?”

You pouted your lips sarcastically. “Aw, what’s wrong? Never been flirted with before?”

James shook his head in disbelief, “You were flirting with me?”

You looked at him flatly. “No. Now go away.”

“No, wait, you never answered my question. Why are you reading a book about muggles?”

“Why do you always know where I am? Are you stalking me?” you asked accusingly.

James’ flustered expression was quickly replaced with a cocky grin. “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to kill you.”

You groaned, regretting ever trying to engage him at all. You should’ve known James Potter wouldn’t stay rattled for long. “What’s it going to take for you to leave me alone, Potter?”

He clasped his hands behind his head, leaning on the wall behind him. “Tell me what I want to hear.”

“You’re Slughorn’s favorite.”

He snorted. “I don’t care about your stupid club.”

“Stop acting so jealous of everyone in it, then,” you shrugged.

“Come on, Y/L/N, stop deflecting,” James puffed out, “why won’t you tell me?”

You stared at him incredulously. “We’re not friends. I don’t owe you anything. And I especially don’t need to be civil with you, so consider it a favor that I haven’t hexed you yet. Leave while I’m feeling courteous.”

A disbelieving expression sat upon James’ face. “You don’t fool me. You wouldn’t risk detention for anything. Too ambitious for your own good, as your fellow Slytherins say.”

His words stung you in a place you’d tried so hard to never let anyone reach. That familiar rage and shame began to build within you.

Your voice shook as you tried your best to conceal your bubbling emotions. “Shut up, Potter.”

His smirk only grew wider. “So, what is it? Plotting the most effective way to murder muggles once you graduate? Got your Dark Mark already, Y/L/N?”

You gritted your teeth, digging your nails into your palms. “No.”

James clapped his hands in mock excitement. “Oh, don’t tell me you’ve got a soft spot for them now! What did it? Got your eye on a muggle-born, perhaps? No, that can’t be it. The only one you care about is yourself, you’d never care enough to—”

He cut himself off, his mouth hanging open. “Hold on.” The longer he thought about it, the more it made sense. “Are you a muggle-born?”

Fear pulsed through your entire being as James looked upon you in genuine shock. You’d tried so hard to get through school without anyone catching on. You were nearly there—just one year to go and you’d be free from the social hierarchy you’d tried so hard not to play into. Now, everything was ruined because you allowed James to get to you.

Angry, embarrassed tears poured down your cheeks. “You don’t know a thing about me,” you seethed, rushing to gather your belongings.

James’ face dropped as he took in the impact his words had on you. He began to reach for you as you got up. “Y/N, wait, I’m not going to—”

You furiously tore yourself away from him, glaring at him as hard as you could. “I don’t care what you do! Just stay away from me. I mean it.” Your voice quieted as your bottom lip quivered, “You’re a real dickhead, James.”

James was, for once, at a loss for words as he watched your figure storm away.

“Oy, Prongs, what’s the matter with you?” Sirius asked, jostling James’ shoulder.

“Huh?”

The long-haired boy frowned. “I asked if you wanted to try that new hex on Snivellus, and you just kept staring out the bloody window. Is Y/N out there or something?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” James asked a little more defensively than he’d intended.

Sirius cocked an eyebrow. “What’s got you so riled up? I just meant you’re always on her case. It’s all you use the map for anymore. Look, I’m all for messing with greensleeves, but she’s a bit of a dull subject. She hardly ever retaliates, and she hasn’t got any friends. Even the other snakes don’t hang around her. Pathetic enough on her own, don’t you think?”

James felt a nagging displeasure in the pit of his stomach. “Knock it off, Sirius.”

It wasn’t often that James felt remorse for his actions, but ever since he’d found you out a week ago, he had trouble feeling anything else. You had looked at him with such fright, as if he was about to attack you. He couldn’t shake the image of your tear-filled face, traces of disappointment evident as you uttered your final words to him. You’d called him worse things before, but you’d never said anything with such hurt and sincerity.

If Sirius responded to him, James didn’t hear it. He haphazardly threw his scarf on as he pushed past his friend. “I need to get some air.”

James briskly walked out of the boys’ dormitories, heading straight for the quidditch field. Maybe he could throw a quaffle around—physical activities usually helped clear his mind. As he made his way past the courtyard, he spotted you slumped beneath the shadow of a tree.

Your knees were curled nearly all the way to your chest, with just enough of a gap left for a book to be propped up against your thighs. James observed that you weren’t really reading it. Your eyes were looking far ahead as you made lazy motions with your wand, absentmindedly growing and shrinking a blade of grass. He took note of the way the other students were seated several meters away from the area you took up.

James ran a hand through his hair, the guilt nibbling away at him once more. This was a new experience for him, one that he wasn’t sure how to deal with. James figured there was nothing a little magic couldn’t fix. He hid himself behind one of the wider columns and stuck his wand out just enough for his spell to hit its intended target.

Your head shot up in confusion as your facial muscles forced their way into a smile. You scanned the courtyard, noticing James’ messy tufts of hair poking out from behind a pillar. Marching your way over there, you tried your best to rearrange your lips into a scowl.

James’ eyes widened as he saw you barreling towards him. Your demented grin was enough to send him running toward his original destination. He knew he was faster than you, but he gravely underestimated your willpower. As he came to a stop just outside the quidditch arena, you crashed into his back, sending the both of you tumbling to the ground.

You used the momentum to pin him down, sitting on his chest as you displayed your unnerving smile over his face. “Potter! Undo this right now!”

James bit back a chuckle as he fished for his wand. “Sorry, Y/L/N, didn’t think it’d turn out so psychotic.” He lightly tapped the corner of your mouth, sending relief throughout your face as you regained control of it.

You rubbed at your jaw, frowning down at him. “What the hell were you thinking?”

“I don’t know, I thought you could use a little cheer. You were looking miserable out there.”

“Yeah,” you muttered, “I wonder why. Look, will you stop torturing me and just get it over with?”

“What are you on about?” James furrowed his eyebrows, eyes darting to where your body met his. “You want me to kiss you or something?”

“No, you daft pig!” You reeled, hastily scurrying off of him. “I meant you should stop dangling my fate in front of me and just expose me to everyone already.”

He pushed himself up on his elbows. “What? Is that what you thought I was going to do?”

“Yes? Why else would you have been avoiding me all week? You’re taunting me, and you know what? It’s working. So just take your win.”

James cringed a little as he uttered his next words. “I was avoiding you because I felt bad. You looked so freaked out when I asked if you were a muggle-born. I was never going to tell anyone.”

You stood up, taking a few cautious steps away from him. “Don’t play games with me, Potter.”

“Blimey, Y/L/N, you really do have trust issues.”

“Forgive me if I’m hesitant to believe the boy that planted dungbombs in my bag for a whole term.”

James sighed, tugging at his curls. “Fine, don’t believe me. You’ll feel real stupid when you realize I was telling the truth.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “I already feel stupid giving you a chance.”

“It’s a natural urge.” The boy shrugged, getting up and dusting off his pants. “Want to fly around?”

“What? Hey—” James grabbed your forearm, pulling you into the quidditch arena. “Potter, what the hell do you think you’re doing?”

He picked out two broomsticks, throwing one at you. “Making you trust me.”

“JAMES POTTER, I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!”

James snickered, paying no mind to your horrified expression cast towards the ground, which was now about fifty meters below you. You had been hesitant to get on the broom in the first place—flying wasn’t really your forte—but James promised he only wanted to show you the goalposts up close. To your horror, the second you reached them, he knotted your brooms together and rocketed up into the open air.

His cackles rang in your ears, as did the growing wind. Your hands tightened around the broomstick’s handle, knuckles paling along with your face. After the initial adrenaline rush, you had been rendered silent by the overwhelming fear of plummeting to the ground.

As James got the last few laughs out of his system, he looked over to see your petrified face still staring downward. “Uh, earth to Y/L/N?”

You didn’t respond, eyes glued to the barely-visible field below you.

James’ eyes flitted towards your hands, shaking with the force with which you were gripping your broomstick. Again, he was hit with that annoying sense of guilt that had been plaguing him since your last encounter. He wished desperately for that feeling to go away.

He hesitantly placed a hand on your broomstick, causing your head to snap up towards him. He was struck a little by the intensity of your gaze—not hateful or upset, but pleading.

James offered you a clunky smile, quietly saying, “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

Although your grip relaxed ever so slightly, you still didn’t respond.

James frowned, that horrible feeling intensifying. “I’m sorry I lied. I really thought you’d like it up here.” He paused. “I should probably stop assuming things about you, huh?”

You gave him a small nod, slightly perturbed at the strange gentleness in his voice. “Yeah. You should.”

To say James was acting unusual would be an understatement. Since when did he care whether you were comfortable? You looked from his hold on your broomstick to the lines between his eyebrows. Something was definitely off.

“Do you want me to get us back down?”

Your face contorted in surprise and confusion. “Really?”

James gave a small, breathy laugh, shifting his eyes away from you. “Don’t look at me like that, Y/L/N. I’d really like for you to trust me.”

You weren’t sure if it was the high altitude or the new shyness in James’ voice, but you were beginning to feel dizzy.

You blinked at him. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” James tugged at his hair, gaze still averted. “Lately, I’ve been feeling like I’ve been an ass to you. I know you don’t think I’m capable of it, but I am trying to be a better person. And that includes not making your day harder than it needs to be.”

You considered this. “So…I’m some obstacle to tackle in your quest to be all self-righteous?”

“What? No, that’s not at all what I’m saying. Y/N, I sincerely want us to be on good terms.”

You narrowed your eyes, reminded of your conversation the week before. “Is this some hero complex thing? Befriend the lonely Slytherin mudblood so you can look big in front of all your friends?”

James was hit with unexpected hurt. Though he figured he deserved it, he hadn’t realized just how deep his actions had affected you before. The overwhelming shame he felt was only eclipsed by his intense desire to reassure you that he didn’t think so lowly of you. That you didn’t deserve to have anyone make you feel that way. That your pained expression made him want to do all he could to stop you from feeling that way again.

“Y/N, please,” his voice strained, “you have to know that’s not how I see you. I—I’m sorry that I’ve messed up so many times and so badly that you may never believe a word out of my mouth, but—” James stopped himself. But what?

The second you saw James’ face crumble, you knew you were wrong to accuse him of using you.

You waited expectantly for him to go on, trying to control the thoughts threatening to overtake you. You weren’t sure there was anything he could say that would get you to let your guard down. You were determined not to let him weaponize your vulnerability again.

Then again, you’d never see him so distraught. So desperate for you to understand. The soft voice, the wounded expression—you couldn’t tell if it was a performance. Either way, it affected you in a way that you didn’t like one bit.

James took another glance at your stony expression, and any hope he’d had that he could fix things with you died within him.

He hung his head, quietly uttering, “Nevermind. I’m sorry. I’ll take you back down.”

As James guided your broomsticks towards the ground, you felt an odd sense of disappointment. While you were confident it was pointless to hear him out, a small part of you was curious to hear what he had to say.

An even smaller part of you wished your moment in the air wouldn’t end so quickly.

Maybe he was telling the truth. Maybe he really did want to be friends.

Your head spun at the thought. Not because it was so outlandish—truthfully, you occasionally did enjoy the banter you had. Perhaps your unease was because the thought of you being proper friends was…disappointing.

You’d been feeling disappointed often lately, but never in this way.

Although body was turned away from him, his face flashed into your mind.

You’re okay. I’ve got you.

You flushed recalling his soft-spoken words when he made a genuine effort to comfort you.

Dread filled you. Could you actually have feelings for—

“Mr. Potter! Ms. Y/L/N! Detention!”

The air was tight with tension as you navigated the darkness of the Forbidden Forest. While you were unnerved by the mysterious echoes bouncing off of the looming trees and shadows that seemed to move every time you looked, you were more bothered by the frost that had formed between you and James.

Madam Hooch stopped abruptly, clapping her hands together. “Right! We’ll settle here, then. This is where I saw a few rogue broomsticks crash the other day. I want the two of you to find all three.”

You eyed the seemingly desolate patch of dead leaves and mossy boulders around you, nervously biting your lip.

James took notice of your stilted demeanor, hating that he’d subjected you to yet another awful experience.

He cleared his throat, speaking up, “Madam Hooch, I think it’d be much more sensible to have us search when the sun’s out, don’t you think? Besides, I’ve got a quidditch match tomorrow and I know you hate to see unrested players on the field.”

The flying instructor didn’t budge. “You should’ve considered that before using school-owned broomsticks and flying around the quidditch arena without permission. I’m surprised you don’t think yourself capable of this simple task, Mr. Potter. As a show of trust, I’ll be waiting just outside the forest. Shoot off a signal if anything happens.”

With that, she took off towards the castle, leaving you with two lanterns and a frustrated James.

He tugged at his hair, kicking at the ground. “I’m sorry, Y/N. Again.”

Your eyebrows knit together as you watched his shoulders hunch. With the way he tried to bargain with Hooch, you thought he’d returned to his usual cockiness. But here he was, avoiding your gaze again.

You shook off your thoughts, picking up a lantern. “Nevermind that. Let’s just find those broomsticks and get out of here.”

James quietly obeyed, walking behind you as you led the way deeper into the forest.

As the minutes went on, the silence between you was making you jumpier than the ominous howls that seemed to follow you.

Why isn’t he saying anything?

You snuck a look back at James, who was still walking with his head down.

This is ridiculous. You hate his stupid, squeaky voice. His unintelligent remarks. His insensitive insults. You hate him.

But right then, you hated the quiet even more.

You stopped. “Um, Potter?”

James nearly ran into you, looking up at the last second. “Shit, sorry. Did you find a broomstick?”

“No, just…are you alright?”

Your question took James by surprise, and he found himself smiling idiotically at you for the hundredth time that day. “I’m alright, thanks.”

You nodded, resuming your trek. “You were being real quiet. Thought you had died or something.”

He chuckled, falling into step beside you. “I assure you I wouldn’t go quietly. You’d know if I was dying.”

“Good,” you teased, “because I’d hate to miss it.”

James lightly bumped your shoulder, small smiles on both your faces.

You weren’t sure if you were ready to let him in just yet, but you were certain you were enjoying whatever this was. You figured this was as good a time as any to get some answers.

“Hey, James? Why do you hate Slytherins?”

He frowned, shrugging. “I don’t. I just pick on Snape because he’s such a dick to muggle-borns.”

Your eyes widened. “But he’s always been cordial with me.”

James scowled. “Because he doesn’t know you’re a muggle-born.” Noticing the discomfort on your face, his voice softened, “He’ll never find out as long as we’re at Hogwarts. I swear.”

You stared into James’ hazel eyes, finding nothing but sincerity behind them. His gaze bore into you, communicating far more than his restrained words allowed him to. It was like a vice that you didn’t want to be released from.

“Thank you,” you breathed, forcing yourself to look at the path ahead.

James tilted his head, keeping pace with you. “You’re not going to ask why I picked on you too?”

You chuckled humorlessly, “It doesn’t take a genius to figure that one out. We’re in rival houses and I’m an easy target. It’s not like you were the first.”

“What? No, hold on—”

You sucked in a sharp breath as James lightly grabbed your shoulders, turning you towards him.

“Y/N, that is not why I picked on you.” He tugged at his dark locks. “I mean, maybe at first. Sirius and I kind of went off on any Slytherin we could mess with during first and second year. It was dumb and I regret that immensely.”

James squeezed your shoulders, taking a small step forward. “But I continued to seek you out for…other reasons. Reasons that I don’t think I was even aware of until last week. When I was a complete dickhead. When I thought I’d done irreparable damage—that put a lot of things in perspective.”

Your heart pounded harshly in your chest. His words and the heat radiating off of him were making it hard to think. “James, you don’t mean…”

James took another step closer to you, forcing you to look up to see his face, which was now hovering just inches above yours.

His voice dropped to a whisper, “I think I do. Y/N, I—”

A loud growl interrupted James.

You both turned to see a large, gray wolf baring its teeth at you just a few meters away.

Your breath caught in your throat. You’d never seen a wolf that size before, at least not in the muggle world. It was easily two meters tall, with bulky muscles beneath every inch of matted fur.

While you struggled to react, James quickly pushed you behind him, shielding you as best as he could behind his larger frame.

“Y/N, signal Madam Hooch,” he commanded, though his voice was still low and tender.

You scrambled to shoot off a burst of light from your wand, which traveled up into the sky and towards the castle.

“Good, now listen to me,” he whispered, “I’m going to distract it while you run as fast as you can back to the castle, okay?”

“What? James, there’s no way you can outrun that thing—”

“Please,” he begged, looking into your eyes. “You might see me do something odd, but I don’t want you to stick around to question it. You need to run the second I tell you to. The second. Understand?”

His authoritative tone left you speechless, only able to nod.

“Okay,” he took a long inhale, “three…two…one…run!”

You took off as quickly as your feet could take you, but you were able to glimpse the scene you were fleeing long enough to see what James was talking about.

Standing in the spot where James had been was a large, brown stag.

Your pace slowed for just a second as it dawned on you.

He was an animagus.

You didn’t have much time to process this new information, desperately running in the direction you came. Whatever his plan was, James wasn’t going to hold his own against a giant wolf for long. You needed to get Madam Hooch before it was too late.

Your lungs burned as you blazed through muddy ground and jumped over fallen branches, your only thought being James. If something did happen to him, you didn’t know what you’d do.

You couldn’t lose him. You wouldn’t.

Just as the edges of the Forbidden Forest came into view, so did Madam Hooch. You frantically led her towards the spot where you’d left James, panting as you explained how the wolf had appeared.

As you arrived back at the scene, you saw the animal readying itself to swipe at the stag it had pinned to the ground.

“Y/N, you find James and bring him here. I’ll drive the wolf away,” Madam Hooch instructed, chasing the creature away from the clearing with a powerful spell.

The moment they disappeared from view, you rushed to the stag. In mere seconds, it transformed back into the Gryffindor boy, but something was horribly wrong.

You gasped, dropping to your knees as you looked over the cuts and bruises littering James’ body. A cut on his temple trailed blood down his face, and the area around one of his eyes was purple. Your breathing quickened as you saw the extent of his injuries, the worst being two deep gashes across his chest. “James. Oh my god.”

He gave you a pained chuckle, voice hoarse. “Surprise. Sorry for lying to you again.”

Tears pricked your eyes. “That’s—that’s not funny. James, we’ve got to go.”

He groaned as he attempted to push himself up, his arms immediately giving out the second his back was off the ground. You slid yourself under him, allowing his head to fall into your lap instead of the forest floor.

James winced through a smile. “Jeez, Y/L/N, if I knew this was all it took to get you close to me, I would’ve gotten hurt much sooner.”

Your mind was fractured, overwhelmed and unable to form a coherent thought. “What?”

“C’mon, love,” he coughed, spitting out blood. “You must know I like you by now. Or do I need to go fight off another wolf?”

The hopeful look on his face was like a knife in your gut, and it was enough for you to burst into tears.

“James, I—you didn’t have to do that! God, I never should’ve left you,” you cried, bringing a shaking hand up to stroke his cheek. Your other hand entangled itself with his, squeezing hard. “I’m so sorry.”

James grinned, leaning into your touch. “Don’t be. What matters is you came back for me.”

“Did you think I would leave you here, you git?” you half-laughed, half-sobbed.

“Nah, like you said,” he took a labored breath, his voice cracking, “you’d hate to miss me dying, right?”

You shook your head, tears spilling out even faster. “No. No, that’s not going to happen. I’ll kill you if you die on me now, Potter. Just focus on your breathing, James, please.”

He squeezed his eyes shut, letting out another low moan of pain. “I’m trying.”

Your grip on him tightened. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

Just then, Madam Hooch returned and immediately levitated James’ nearly-limp form, hurrying the both of you back to the castle. You were numb the whole jog back, only able to stare ahead as Madam Pomfrey tended to him.

“What was that boy thinking, trying to fight off a wolf?” Madam Hooch tutted, shaking her head. “He’s a brave one, but I’m glad you had the sense to run, Ms. Y/L/N. Consider yourselves exempt from further punishment. But don’t let me catch you on the field unauthorized again.”

With a pat on the shoulder, she left the hospital wing.

As you zoned out, you were interrupted by a commotion.

“Mr. Potter, settle down!”

“No, where is she?! Y/N!” James shouted, limbs flailing as he attempted to launch himself off the bed.

You quickly made your way over to him, watching as he stopped fighting and sank back into the mattress. “James, I’m right here. I’m okay.”

He sighed, reaching for your hand. You entwined your fingers once more as you slid onto the small chair by the bed.

“Sorry,” he muttered, turning to Madam Pomfrey, “can she please stay? I might throw another tantrum otherwise.”

“You children will be the death of me.” She frowned, finishing up with his now-bandaged chest. “Don’t get any funny ideas or I’ll throw you both out.”

You turned back to James as she walked back to her desk. His face was considerably less pale, but one of his eyes was still nearly swollen shut. You could feel yourself beginning to tear up again as everything hit you all at once.

James frowned, squeezing your hand. “Can I get through one day without making you upset?”

You shook your head. “No. I don’t think that’s ever going to happen. How do you feel?”

“Awful. The girl I like doesn’t like me back,” he joked, though his delivery faltered.

You looked at him as though he’d grown another head. “First off, that’s not what I meant. Second, you’re an idiot if you think I’m sat here crying over you and holding your hand because I pity you.”

“Well, I’m sorry, but I can’t trust my instincts at all with you. You’ve made me feel so many nasty emotions this past week.” He began counting them off his fingers. “Guilty for disappointing you, ashamed for hurting you, and insecure for liking you.”

You giggled. “Good. You deserve to be as conflicted as I’ve been.”

“What did you have to be conflicted about?”

“I thought I hated you. No, I definitely hated you while I thought you were going to tell everyone I was a muggle-born.” You smiled. “But you didn’t. And then you were nice to me. Granted, your idea of ‘nice’ could use some work, but still. When we were up on those broomsticks, I started to wish there wasn’t so much animosity between us. And then in the forest, I realized I liked having you around. A lot. And then when the wolf attacked—I just knew I couldn’t lose you yet.”

James was smiling so hard, his lip was beginning to split open again. “Fuck, Y/L/N, either I’m about to pass out or you’re making me swoon.”

You shoved his shoulder. “Not funny. I don’t know how you can joke like that when you literally almost died.”

James chuckled, reaching a hand up to cup your cheek. “I don’t know how much longer I can sit here waiting for the girl I fancy to tell me she likes me too.”

You rolled your eyes. “Back up, Potter. I think I have the right to grill you first.”

“About what?”

“You’re kidding, right? You’re an animagus!”

James cringed, averting his eyes. “Yeah, I was hoping you’d forget about that by now.”

“Because you’re unregistered?”

He shot you a look. “What do you think?”

“You could end up in Azkaban for that!”

“I’m far too skilled at getting away with things.”

“Clearly,” you said, thinking back to all the times he successfully sweet-talked professors into getting out of trouble. “How’d you learn to transform?”

“A lot of trial and error. Took me a couple years.”

“How long have you been able to do it?”

“Since fifth year.”

Your mouth hung open. “That’s…kind of incredible. Hold on, are all of you animagi? You, Remus, Sirius, and Peter?”

James hesitated. “It’s not my place to say.”

“Right. Okay, do you have any other wild secrets I should know about?”

A smile crept onto his face. “Maybe. But I can’t possibly tell you everything right this moment. Gotta keep things interesting.”

Your brows furrowed. “Fine. As long as none of these other secrets get you killed.”

James’ thumb grazed the back of your hand. “The agony of waiting for you to tell me how you feel will kill me far sooner than any of my secrets, Y/L/N.”

You sighed. “Honestly, James, could you be any more melodramatic?”

“My melodrama is what kept us alive. Who else would be stupid enough to fight a wolf to save a damsel in distress?”

“Well, I’m not about to argue that you’re not stupid.” In spite of your light tone, the heaviness in the pit of your stomach remained.

James was right. If he hadn’t thrown himself at the wolf, you never would’ve come away from the encounter unharmed. His inflated ego definitely contributed to that decision, but it was a selfless act nonetheless. One he’d done for your sake.

You scanned his battered face, his relentless optimism shining through his features. You used to think this expression was a smug display, a symptom of his belief that he’d come out on top in any situation. But now, his wide eyes and faint smile held no sense of self-assuredness. Rather, they were brimming with tentative hope.

You cleared your throat, wiping the remaining tear tracks from your face. “Let’s get a few things straight. First of all, I am not a damsel in distress. I am perfectly capable of handling myself under normal circumstances. The only reason you had to step in today was because I do not normally get myself into such ridiculous predicaments. You got us into this because of your recklessness. Can we agree on that?”

James nodded. “Definitely an accurate assessment.”

“Right. Which brings me to my next point.” A breath. “Obviously, I care for you too. And I really would like to give us a chance, but,” your voice softened, “you’re reckless with a lot more than just hexes and broomsticks, James.”

James’ smile faltered, the implication of your words clear. He sat up, shifting towards you. “You’re right. I thought our exchanges were all in good fun, but I realize what were jokes to me were deeply hurtful attacks to you. I didn’t mean for them to be, which just goes to show how ignorant I can be. I know I can’t take it all back, but I am sorry for all the harm I’ve inflicted on you.”

His hazel eyes searched yours for a brief moment before he gingerly took your face in his hands. “But if you’ll allow it, I will try my hardest to make it up to you. I want to be someone you can trust not to break your heart.” You shivered as his thumb ghosted over your cheek. “I’ve never been trusted with anything precious, but I’d like to be worthy of you.”

You were rendered speechless at his earnest declaration. So, instead of replying, you closed the small distance between your lips. James instantly reciprocated, his hands squeezing your waist as he deepened your kiss. Your own hands tangled in his hair, tugging as he lightly nipped you.

You pulled away, slightly dazed. “What are we doing? We’re in the hospital wing!”

“I’m sorry, love. I meant what I said, but I’ve got to keep some of the mischief in my life.” You let out a small shriek as he suddenly pulled you onto his lap. His lips brushed against your ear, “You’re quite the temptation, Y/L/N.”

You were certain your face was beet red, but you couldn’t help the breathy giggle that escaped you. “You are a piece of work, Potter.”

He planted a kiss on your temple, sturdy arms secured around you. “I know.”

Another irritatingly cheeky smile was plastered across his face.

But for the first time, you were looking forward to being the reason for that smile.

#james x reader #james x you #james x y/n #james potter x reader #james potter x you #james potter x y/n #james potter #sirius black #remus lupin #marauders #marauders era #hogwarts #harry potter #reckless 🍂

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swap-and-possessions · 1 year

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Mile High Club

The Possessors are a tight-knit community who hosts monthly possession dares. For February, they will take their possession powers to the skies.

Read the NSFW version on my 🧡Patreon🧡.

Possessors. They are people that can take control of other people’s bodies. Most of them do it by phasing into other people’s bodies. Some take a risque portal of entry by turning themselves into slime and entering a person’s orifice. Their existence remains unknown to most people, and they like to keep it that way. Despite that, they enjoy a close community among peers where they can maintain contact with one another and even host monthly themed objectives. It’s like a mission in a video game. It gives possessors a sense of a goal, which keeps possessing random people from getting stale.

This month’s objective is called the ‘Mile-High Club’; unlike the vanilla version, this objective among possessors tasks them with possessing a person inside a plane without getting seen. It’s difficult knowing that a plane is made up of a long hallway that allows other people to see you effortlessly. The cramped space makes it even harder. There are roaming flight attendants, and planes are now riddled with CCTV cameras. It’s a difficult challenge, and as a result, it was met with discontent from the community of possessors. Previous objectives weren't this difficult. Nevertheless, there was a small group who took the dare. Besides, the difficulty is what made this fun.

Many expected the possessor’s forums to lay barren for the entire month of February. As the hours ticked by, posts began to pop up one by one.

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LatinoLover (OP) February 1, 2023 (1:34:56 AM GMT +0)

First, baby! While boarding the plane, I sneaked up behind this guy and possessed him.

CockBuster (User): The plane must be miles in the air to be the Mile-High Club, idiot. IonicBond (User): Did you even read the instructions? BodySwappr1900 (Mod): You’re disqualified for not following the instructions. LatinoLover (OP): Sorry, I got too excited. I still have this guy’s massive dick, though. I’m going to the Bahamas with my equally hot boyfriend. It’s still a win for me, suckers! Space_Man2 (Mod): No worries. There is next month's objective, so stay tuned!

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BeardBeard (OP) February 1, 2023 (7:34:00 AM GMT +0)

Everyone is exaggerating airport security. People are too busy to care what’s happening in the next seat. I walked in front of this guy with the excuse of going to the bathroom, then bam! I crashed into him and possessed his body right then and there. I say, not bad. This guy’s biceps are more enormous than my fucking head. My face is too young-looking, though. A luscious beard can change that.

RedMelon (User): Holy mama! You could crush melons with those thunder arms. DogPasta (User): Flex for us! Flex for us! BicepsConnoiseur (User): Nice guns, bro! I’d possess him if you didn’t get to take his body first. Can we body-swap after you’re done with him? Space_Man2 (Mod): Congrats! You achieved the Mile-High Club. You can see the achievement icon on your forum profile.

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Mario_Hauser1987 (OP) February 1, 2023 (6:13:12 PM GMT +0)

Men this hot should be barred by TSA for carrying explosively seductive bodies. It’s been hours in the lavatory, and I’m still in awe at my muscles. Sorry to this guy’s phone, but his gallery is now filled with pictures of himself. But first, I got to delete the first one where he caught me possessing his body. Thank goodness he didn’t struggle much, so taking over his body was fast and easy as pie.

RyanTattooParlor (User): That tattoo is art. Scan his memories and tell me where he got the ink. Penchant_Jericho (User): What are you listening at? Mario_Hauser1987 (OP): @Penchant_Jericho I don’t know yet. It might take a while before I get this dude’s memories. While I'm waiting, I'm going to check this dude's cock. Space_Man2 (Mod): Congrats! You achieved the Mile-High Club. You can see the achievement icon on your forum profile.

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Slime-Lord01 (OP) February 2, 2023 (3:33:45 PM GMT +0)

While you ghosties are taking over single passengers, I’m out here possessing the pilot and his co-pilot. I fucking love being a slime. Another thing I love is the auto-pilot function. While everyone’s out cold from the 10-hour flight, we’re fucking like rabbits in the cockpit. Apologies to the passengers for the turbulence we’ll be having all night.

Slimerist (User): Knowing you, I bet you made the shorter guy on the right top the tall dude on the left. Slime-Lord01 (OP): Damn right, I did. I love small tops so much. BodyHopper (Mod): Congrats! You achieved the Mile-High Club. You can see the achievement icon on your forum profile.

#Possession #Male Possession #Male Body Possession #Body Possession #Slime

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darbyallinsskateboard · 9 months

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The Baddest (Matt Riddle X Reader)

I don’t see anyone write for this man so here I am

Inspired by Baddest - K/DA

Summary: Reader is like a sibling to Sami and Kevin, so when they verse the judgement day with Matt Riddle what happens when reader protects Riddle from Rhea?

I bite my nails as I watch my ‘brothers’ talk amongst themselves, the judgement day had challenged them to a match, but they needed a third person, just now someone comes through the curtains of the guerilla, you looked over and saw Matt Riddle scoot over on his scooter, quietly snorting to yourself “Hey Kevin, what about him?” Kevin looks over and shakes his head “No! definitely not! I don’t like idi-” “Hey! I heard you two were looking for a third man!”

“Yeah! they were! hey you don’t have a match tonight, that’s perfect” Kevin glares over at me and I just laugh “That’s what I was going to say little lady! what do you say Kevin? Sami?” “I mean I don’t see a problem” Sami says and now Kevin looks to glare at him “Cool! so it’s a match!” says Riddle before scooting back out of the guerilla “I seriously hate the both of you” “awe, love you too!” you and Sami laugh at Kevin and then continue discussing.

The time for the match is upon us and I watch my brother’s walk out, with their tag titles up in the air, Riddle is next and he gives me a fist bump before he scoots out, I let out the breath I had in and sigh, I had admired Riddle since our NXT day’s but never really had the confidence to talk to him one on one, or really tell anyone I liked him.

I watch as the judgement day eye down my friends and I bite my lip, I see Rhea giving Matt a particularly rough look ‘Is she going to hurt him?’ see you used to be very good friends with Rhea, until she joined the Judgement Day, you guys have been feuding lately, and Rhea was the only one you could admit too you liked Matt, you really hoped she wasn’t going to try use this against you, you watch as the fight happens, Rhea interfering every once in a while.

When it was reaching the apex of the match Riddle had Dominik in the middle of the ring where he was going to try floating bro him but Dominik was pulled out of place and Riddle roughly hit the mat, Rhea then crawled into the ring and grabbed Matt, looking directly at the camera “This is what you get for messing with the judgment day little girl!” I quickly tell the technicians to play my music ‘Baddest By K/da’ starts playing and I run out into the ring, Rhea let’s go of Matt and I slide into the ring, tackling her and beginning to punch her.

Rhea was under me defenseless and Dominik got back into the ring, planning to break me up from Rhea, but before he could Matt grabbed him and got him in bro-derrick position and performed it, going for the pin “1....2....3!” but that didn’t stop you from continuing the assault on Rhea, before you were being pulled off of her, thrashing around “Let go!” “Come on we won, let’s go back” you hear Sami’s voice as you let him drag you from the ring.

when back in the guerilla the boys are all talking before Matt walks over to me “I’ve never seen you so aggressive, it was sick as, especially because you helped save me - hey! I got an idea! we should totally be a tag team!” “that’d be cool Matt” I look at him with a smile and he smiles back.

“Also, want to go out to dinner with me? I need to thank you in some way” I’m stunned before I smile widely and agree “Yes! I’d love too!” “I’ll dm you when I’ll pick you up” you nod and watch as he walks out “Our little y/n is growing up!” “I’d rather it not have been with Riddle but I guess I can’t stop you” you laugh as you continue talking to your brothers and joking around.

you feel your phone vibrate and open it, it was a message from Matt “forget dinner, just come to my locker room ;)” you couldn’t help but giggle “I gotta go guys” you say walking out “USE PROTECTION!” you laugh as you keep walking down the hallway

A/N omg a Matt Riddle post

#wwe x reader #wwe #wwe fanfiction #matt riddle #matt riddle x reader #sami zayn #kevin owens #the judgement day #rhea ripley

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spiritshaydra · 1 year

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Aw hell yeah it’s Spit’s Soundwave Headcanons time, NOW ITS TIME TO GET FUNKY

Currently suffering a very annoying cold on the one week of my college semester where I’m actually off, so I guess it’s time to unleash my Very Bad Goofy Aah And Kinda Angsty Headcanons For The Sweeb; because not only am I physically ill I’m also very ✨mentally ill✨🥰 a double whammy if you will. (Meant to post it earlier so I no longer have a nasty cold nor am I on break still. 😔)

Heres some of my other shitty headcanon posts! Here and here

LETS BEGIN SHALL WE?

Soundwave is the Nemesis’s resident shitty cryptid. He’s like having a black cat live in your house that’s also twenty three feet tall and made of metal. He has the whole shebang down to an art: he will stare at you judgmentally from across the room, has the horrible ability to practically materialize out of the shadows without warning despite being a giant space robot, is completely silent but is fully capable of making the Worst Noises Known To Man if he so desired, will be found where you least expect it, and he may or may not be the type to do a horrible skitter in the unholy hours of the night.

There’s also cases of him being petty in a sort of “nobody would ever believe you” sort of way, such as knocking things off of someone’s (Starscream’s) desk.

Belling him like a cat might solve the whole “sneaking up out of nowhere” problem, however good luck on actually SUCCEEDING in that. Plus, it would get in the way of him being y’know, a spymaster.

Dude likes stray cats. <3

Gonna also say that he’s a fan of Hatsune Miku because ???? Yes

He doesn’t like direct prolonged eye contact and will take it as a threat or challenge. This is even more evident in the extremely rare instances where he’s unmasked, as he will never look someone in the eyes in that circumstance. One thing he does do when unmasked is that he’ll tilt his head to his blindside to be able to see with his functional optic better. (He’s fully blind on the damaged side of his face.)

He never sits normally and will instead crouch or perch on things as a substitute. There’s no logic to it other than it’s what he finds comfortable apparently.

He is a massive shitlord. And a pretty passive aggressive one at that. He may be quiet and not the most social, but he is absolutely not a submissive or shy individual.

I bestow (one of) the highest honor I can give upon him: ✨aro/ace spectrum✨ or bust baby!!1!1! Or at least ace. This dude wouldn’t be able to tell if someone tried romancing HIM specifically unless they straight up said so. He also just,, doesn’t really think about those sorts of things either and has no interest whatsoever. If hit on, he’s just going to squint at the offender in question before going back to work (in most circumstances at least)

✨robot autism✨ (the other highest honor I can give)

Wavewave hostility. Yeeeeaaaah he’s indifferent towards Shockwave at the BEST. It’s Wave on Wave violence at worst. (TO BE FAIR, the scientist doesn’t give him much thought in return) He’s not going to be charitable towards the mech who experimented on his cassettes (when they were alive-) behind his back. Sooo,,, they are very much not “friends”. To say that he wasn’t ecstatic that Shart had survived the Spacebridge explosion would be one way to put it.

Besides really simple repairs and other quick fixes, he absolutely hates being in the medbay; to the point where out of any of the members of the Nemesis crew, he’s the one wearing the badge of “#1 worst patient ever “ (with what could be described as pride.) Anything involving removing the visor for repairs is like pulling teeth, and any major damage repairs goes straight to hell to the point where he’s actually had to be subdued at least once or twice. Usually it’s also a two person team sort of ordeal with Knockout doing the complicated medical procedures while Breakdown’s providing backup. Nobody involved enjoys it in the slightest. Hence the worst patient ever award.

He has the tendency to hide in hard to reach places like up in the rafters. Never to get out of doing his work, as he’s a workaholic, but more so to avoid meetings with those he despises, some medical things, and sometimes just to decompress. Normally this could just be attributed to some of his weird quirks, and it’s completely harmless, until it isn’t. The bad thing about this, is that he will try to hide when gravely injured instead of going to the medbay. Generally you could find him by following the energon splatters and looking for the dim purple glow among the shadows close to the ceiling of a storage room. Sometimes there’s energon dripping from the rafters. Usually if he does get badly hurt while on the field, he is to be escorted directly to the medbay so this doesn’t happen.

He had to be almost completely rebuilt some time during the war on Cybertron. We’re talking the almost complete destruction of his frame. There’s a reason why he doesn’t have the bulky heavier armored frame of his gladiator days, despite it likely being more useful in combat. I mean, who would willingly choose to get rid of their functional wrists? The ability to pronate one’s wrist is pretty useful I’d assume. (Look at his design in the show, the dude doesn’t have wrists :,D just really REALLY long forearms. He’s basically doing a more extreme case of raptor hands.) He was rebuilt with what supplies were on hand at the time, with modifications and adjustments being made until we get to what we see now. (Many modifications were made to up his fear factor, to unease targets in combat)

Before his face was destroyed in the Pits as a gladiator, he actually wore a half visor over his optics. Not out of necessity, but for the intimidation/fear factor it added to his gladiatorial matches. Oh the irony. In present day, it’s entirely out of necessity and out of security as well.

I see him as a stray cat sort of guy. I dunno, characters caring for stray cats in an alleyway gotta be one of my favorite genres.

Definitely would’ve been the kid that hisses at people in the hallway in high school. Definitely got the vibe imo

#tfp #maccadams #maccadam #transformers #transformers shitpost #transformers prime #tfp headcanons #tfp soundwave #soundwave #tfp soundwave headcanons #headcanon #shitpost

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doubleappled · 5 months

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About the blogger meme

Thank you to @bioloyg for the tag and the fic callout! Team Pete forever and for always!

Star Sign: Libra, but it never resonates the way my enneagram 2 does

Favorite Holidays: Groundhog Day. I love those little dudes (although I wish we could leave them in peace so maybe let’s just celebrate their existence and not force our way into their homes)

Last Meal: Enchiladas for dinner

Last Music Listened To: Waxahatche’s Great Thunder

Last Movie Watched: hmmmm in the theater? I think Bottoms, which I adored

Last TV Show Watched: Shameless. I’m in the beginning of season 9 and it is messing me up in 5000 different ways. The acting is great (sometimes) and the writing is awful (mostly) and the storylines are ridiculous (always) and it’s at least 5 or 6 seasons too long. But every once in a while it really makes you think, and it’s completely gotten under my skin. And I will finish it if it’s the last thing I ever do. And it might be, because wow.

Last Book/Fic Finished: I just finished Justin Torres’ Blackouts and I LOVED it. And the most recent chapter of @glitterslag’s It's Been You and Me Since Before I Was Me — is a witchy creepy Appalachian Gothic MASTERPIECE that I adore. Oh and Blissymbolics’ Colorless Richie Jerimovich, also a masterpiece even though it is sydrichie and that is giving me a teeny tiny identity crisis okay moving on

Last Book/Fic Abandoned: I am thisclose to giving up on Lessons In Chemistry. I do not get this book at all.

Currently Reading: nobody ever got my soul right like she could by seh28

Last Thing Researched for Art/Writing/Hyperfixation: Quite a bit about what happens to children of people wirh narcissistic personality disorder (hi Donna, yes I am armchair psychologizing and pathologizing a fictional character) for the fic I’m currently writing. I’m not a really intense researcher, but I’ve read all about elevator mechanics and ancient marriage rites and British parking tickets and EMP’s 2019 spring menu and how to cook uni and where pastina comes from, all for fics. I love that aspect of writing.

Favorite Online Fandom Memory: It’s embarrassing, but it’s probably the first time that one of my favorite fic authors commented on one of my own fics, ca. 2018. I was on the subway, and I dropped my phone on the disgusting wet floor when I saw the incredibly lovely comment they’d posted.

FaNvorite Old Fandom You Wish Would Drag You Back In/Have A Resurgence: I really only have two old fandoms, but I do miss HP quite a bit. It’s such a robust space, with really nice people, and so many different fests and prompts and challenges. I still read a bit when my favorite authors post, and would like to write for it again someday. (Also, if you’re the anon who’s messaged me multiple times to tell me that my new fics aren’t as good or creative as my HP, and that I “used to be a good writer” — please stop. That’s not the way to convince me to go back, and it makes me feel bad)

Favorite Thing You Enjoy That Never Had an Active or Big "Fandom" but You Wish It Did: Truly I’ve never experienced a hyperfixation like I have with The Bear. I wish fanfic had existed in its current state when I was younger, or that I’d been cool enough to figure out the concept and write it on my own. I would have been VERY ACTIVE in a Dead Poets Society fandom if it had existed when I was obsessed with that movie, a decade after it came out, when I watched it practically every day for a year 🤪

Tempting Project You're Trying to Rein In/Don't Have Time For: I just have 15 different Bear WIPs, none of which have any plot, wooo!

Anyway this was all very fun to think about. Tagging @amieraisposting @kdbleu @justabovewater20 @yannaryartside @glitterslag — only if this is your jam — and anyone else who wants to join in.

#ask meme #nice way to spend an evening avoiding the nonsense I really should be doing

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cxhleel108 · 5 months

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S7 Thots for this week: Sigh…

• Die

• For whatever reason but sure🫤

• Why do we need to help Uma and Alex fix their problems? DO NONE OF YOU KNOW HOW TO FUCKING COMMUNICATE???

• The way Daphne just let go so easily of the fact that Uma tried to make moves on Raf. She’s too nice omg girl we needa get you outta here before these people ruin you😭😭😭

• Y’all I could not go through this post without acknowledging this swimsuit it’s sooooooo good.

• Yeah ummmm Daph, even if I wanted to revenge flirt to make Bryson jealous literally none of these other people tickle my fancy in the slightest bit so that was never even in consideration.

• Get a load of this guy😂😂😂😂😂

• Oh wait never mind Travis is a part of the Willow Hate Club, he’s cool now🤩

• Yes, working out with Bryson instead of just speaking to him is gonna help the current issue…

• Aw even Raf is a #Tyson stan…well he’s also literally in love with Tanya but that’s besides the point!

• I’m crying they all fucking hate Willow girlllll get yo ass outta here💀💀💀

• Ok Raf’s advice at least makes more sense for Bryson but once again what am I getting advice for when I literally just have to talk to him??? That’s that damn cash grab shit we be talking about chile.

• No, I really don’t think you know how annoying this is babe🫤🫤🫤

• Mmmm I hardly believe that but sure I guess I’ll go with it!

• Aw they made up, how sweet😍 (They’re literally gonna fight again next week)

• Oh girl PLEASE

• The apology being her saying sorry like twice and then going on a whole tangent about why she still thinks her and Bryson are meant to be…someone give me the number to the nearest psych ward I’m not kidding.

• Finally after 2 centuries Bryson wants to talk.

• Oh we are so back yassss!

• I'm glad Bryson knows how lucky he is🥰🥰🥰

• Why I forget that we were coupled up with Vicky LMAOOOOOO sorry girl.

• It's literally the middle of the day and we're finna do a challenge...why are we getting dressed up??? Anyways outfit time!

• Fusebox I gotta hand it to y'all. 90% of the looks this season have been eating.

• Yasss bae is starting to act like a real man!

• Vicky I'm so sorry to leave you with that demon but I gotta put me first sis.

• What???????????

• Bryson don't be saying freaky shit like that to me like I won't pull them pants down right now!

• That convo on the terrace was too cuuuuuute.

• Fusebox why can your AI not spell "biased" right? This is the second time it's been spelled wrong. What the fuck is "biassed"??? Bitch nobody has two asses, how can someone be "biassed"?????

• OH END THAT RAGGEDY BITCH!!!

• Outfit time again!

• Can I just say I love all of the Y2K influences I'm seeing in a lot of the clothes this year ugggghhh they know me so well.

• They be coming up with anything😭

• Everyone trying hard to look like the perfect couple and then there's just us doing a marriage proposal with a pretzel...literally goals.

• These niggas are a literal cult I'm so dead😭😭😭

• This whole boytime bedtime sequence was so stupid and honestly I'm glad this season is bringing back just pure unserious moments like this.

• If you know me then you already KNOW what option I chose😈

• Oh boo I thought clocking his tea would get more of a reaction than that. I guess they gotta save the drama for the "big reveal" at the last recoupling🙄🙄🙄

• Oh brother...

• Yes, please end my suffering!

#omg wait that means willow is leaving YESSSSS #litg #love island the game #litg s7 #litg stick or twist #litg season 7 #litg mc #litg willow #litg bryson #litg uma #litg alex #litg rafael #litg daphne #litg vicky #litg travis

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aliceindaisychains999 · 1 year

Note

Hiiii! I saw that tank dempsey and video games post and it made me think... How would the bois (primis and Ultimis) do with good ol' Jackbox?

(spoiler alert : it'd be a hot mess. Especially with Ultimis)

HELLO MY FRIEND! You’re correct, Ultimis can barely hold together a game of Mario Kart without someone throwing a shit fit (even Takeo). This all takes place in a modern AU btw. Each group gets 3 games so this doesn't get overwhelmingly large

I'm also using an emoji guide bc it's going to be very detailed

Primis: Tank( 🪖), Richtofen (🧪), Takeo(🌸), Nikolai (🐻)

Ultimis: Tank (🧨), Richtofen (🧟), Takeo(🗡️), Nikolai (🍷)

JACKBOX NIGHT WITH THE AETHER CREW

Primis:

Behold, the group that actually has fun with it!

Everyone’s favorite game has to be T-KO. Nikolai kept coming up with hysterical shirts with risqué jokes. The shirt seen below was his magnum opus:

Richtofen insisted his was a really funny pun, but nobody laughed again no matter how much he milked the joke :( But it's DummKoffee...

During Job Job, Everyone kept losing their shit. For examples:

"You want to make a good impression for the district manager. How do you stand out?" 🧪: I like to cry for help to the district manager

🪖: respond Based off of gooey cheese cheese cheese cheese snacks ("Not gonna lie, this stuff is why I joined the Marine Corp")

"You had your picture taken for your work badge and it's awful! What do you do?"

🐻: pillow Hangover 🌸: I hose that Karen

Richtofen nearly choked on his beer hearing Dempsey's answer 🧪Goodness, Dempsey! Are you starving? 🪖I mean, sure. I could go for somethin' cheesy right now (And so they heated some Totino's and pizza bagels from the freezer, in which Takeo kept quietly stealing one off of everyone's plate until Nikolai caught him in the act. Did I mention they were slightly tipsy?)

Overall, they all had lighthearted fun with it. And it slowly becomes a game of choice when they hand out besides poker and online gaming once in a while.

Ultimis:

Ok so already everyone is taking at least 15-30 minutes to connect tO THE FUCKING TV

🍷Wait wait don't start guys! I haven't signed in yet!

🧨COME ON NIKOLAI! GIMMIE YOUR PHONE! (The same man who struggled several minutes earlier to jump on)

🗡️Hmmm, what should we play first? 🧟OOOH! Let's play Murder Trivia! It sounds delicious~

🧨Ugh, give me a break...

So murder trivia was a rough start. Not only did everyone have a tough time with the puzzles. but only Takeo and Richtofen were getting most of the questions right. This left Nikolai and Tank dying every round and failing their redemption challenges.

Nikolai would angrily pout and mumble "Fuck this game" while Tank roared with so much visceral rage in his throat. This is worse than him fighting with someone in the MW2 Voice chat

Richtofen thought it was funny until Tank was about to get violent and punch a hole in the TV. Takeo and Nikolai had to restrain him while Richtofen scolded him. No more Murder Trivia...

🧟Maybe Monster Seeking Mon-🧨NO. I get to pick this time!

Tank chose Survive the Internet! And… it went as well as you’d expect.

Surprisingly, it was Takeo that added the hashtag for Richtofen's tweet! 🗡️Ha ha ha! Are you surprised by my ambush, Doctor? 🧨Alright, Tak! It's funny 'cause it's true🧟I hate you, Dempsey

A taste of karma on Richtofen's part for the #whycollegematters comment

Honorable mention to Dempsey's gut-busting commentary here. Everyone laughed so hard that even Takeo had beer come out his nose!

The final game was Civic Doodle. Literally nobody knew how to draw and Richtofen kept slamming down everyone’s “crappy job” on their artwork.

🧟AAAACH! WHAT AM I LOOKING AT?! DIDE YOU SMUDGE IT ALL WITH YOUR THUMB?! 🍷HEY FUCK YOU I CAN’T TOUCH SCREEN! IS TOO TINY FOR NIKOLAI! Besides, I can see two of what I’m drawing which makes it harder for me :(

It sadly ends with a lot of quarreling because the wifi had issues and everyone thought it was because someone was doing it on purpose to cheat 🧨Hey wait a minute… YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE, DIDN’T YOU RECTALFAN! 🧟Why is it every time something goes wrong, you assume it’s MY fault? HMM?! Maybe I should remind you of all the times you’ve thrown a wrench into my- our plans! 🍷I think it was the bushido warrior. He’s too quiet… and his jokes are unfunny as shit🗡️Says you, Russian pig! [INTENSIFIED OLD MAN YELLING] They tire themselves out into slumber in the living room.

#cod zombies #call of duty zombies #codz #primis dempsey #ultmis dempsey #tank dempsey #primis richtofen #ultimis richtofen #edward richtofen #takeo masaki #primis takeo #ultimis takeo #nikolai belinski #primis nikolai #ultimis nikolai #i poured my heart and soul into this so I hope it's worth the unecessarily long wait #im still so very sorry!!!!#I just wanted to make sure I gave it more than just basic responses

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leoandlancer · 1 year

Note

Alright, I'll bite: what's the intro starter pack for the Soap and the Skullman? You successfully have me intrigued.

I AM DELIGHTED YOU'VE ASKED

Skullman and Soap are from the game Call of Duty Modern Warfare II. It's a 2022 remake of a game that came out in 2009, and the remake has some notable improvements and provides an interesting perspective of how video games have changed in the last 14 years across the board; visuals, pacing, story, characters, challenges etc etc. All of which is cool but I'm here exclusively for the wall of beef being served.

Allow me to explain.

The single player story game includes 2+ hours of pristine cut scenes carrying the plot and character development, and any number of hours playing the game which includes banter and fps’ing. POV bounces between two teams having adventures and bein' sneaky all over the world. There’s also a Multiplayer mode but I know next to nothing about it so you’ve certainly come to the right place to learn some things. Youtube has a bunch of great Let’s Plays for the entire game, as well as videos of just all the cut scenes. Highly recommend, not least of all because I was blindsided by how wholesome it all turned out to be.

Simon "Ghost" Riley 👻 💀

Character with so much going on if anyone but a triple A studio pitched him they'd be told to calm down. Wildly op. Incredible passive intimidation score. Somehow internationally feared stealth agent despite Looking Like That. Aesthetic as fuck. Ranked Lieutenant if you can tell the different breeds of officer apart. HEIGHT. Manchester accent. Tragic backstory. The mask is a whole other post and I’m not normal about it. Despite going into it like a cat being forced into a bath, he is one half of the Grumpy One Soft for the Sunshine One trope that causes me physical agonies. (Secret third thing! Poor Little Meow Meow candidate.)

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish 🧼

You know how sometimes when a zoo or sanctuary has a cheetah or something that’s super anxious they’ll give them a chill, reliable, confident, protective dog friend? Yeah, anyway Soap is assigned to Ghost in the beginning of the game. SCOTTISH. Mohawk. Wears jeans throughout most of the game despite being continually dunked in cold water. Everyone wants to work with him so he kept being reassigned and always had to make new friends. Other half of the Grumpy One Soft for the Sunshine One trope, but Soap was an immediate, I mean immediate, adopter of his part. (Bonus! Pinnacle of AW little guy!!! Oh he’s a little bit fucked up actually..)

Kyle “Gaz” Garrick

Carries this team on his fuckin’ wings. Good at everything. Set all the records when he was in training and no one’s touched them. Eldest sibling energy someone give him a break. If a situation could kill a normal human, Gaz might be mildly discommoded.

John Price

Captain of Team 141, which Ghost, Soap, and Gaz are a part of. Keeps finding and adopting wildly competent soldiers/rebels/mercenaries as allies all over the world who would very literally die for him and they’re not wrong. Very protective of his kids allies. Could attack an army with a soggy corn chip and win. Team Dad.

Alejandro Vargas

Managing with grace and panache despite his job apparently requiring him to fight everyone within a 200km radius. A colonel in the Mexican special forces. Stressed, but make it hot. Gets to prep for disaster like the world is ending but unlike most preppers seems to be having a blast and it all comes in handy. Loves his team do NOT separate them. Does attack an army with a soggy corn chip and win.

Rodolfo “Rudy” Parra

The only man on earth capable of being Alejandro’s second in command and exceed expectations. Incredibly good at everything. Much too well behaved and well mannered for this. Not high enough ranked to decide on problems, not low enough ranked for them to not be his problems. Someone help him.

Phillip Graves

Commander of Shadow Company, a private military thing. Gets to live, laugh, love being a mercenary with a massive fucking armory and zero restrictions. Suspect he has the keys to his tiny southern USA hometown and his parents are embarrassingly proud of him. Energy of a Jack Russel Terrier in a world of squirrels.

How much more space do I have? There’s a lot more ground to cover. I’m missing way too many characters.

Farah Ahmed Karim

Leader of the Urzikistan Liberation Force and a human shaped meteor. Price asks her for help and before he can hang up she kick slides in on a dirt bike with a machine gun and a squadron of fighters behind her. Coolest person in any room. Lots of stuff on her plate but seems really organized about it.

Kate “Watcher” Lazwell

Their CIA connection. Buddies with Price like everyone else except she’s the wine aunt to Price’s Team dad. Has killed people with her bare hands and will kill again. Is married and adores her wife. Cares SO MUCH but manages to not be burned out by constant bullshit.

Ok so now we’re into the boys from the multiplayer part of the game and listen there are crumbs of canon content and a cake of fanon content.

König

The man is 6′10″ tall and built better than most F150s. Wears the hood over his face because being taller than every standard doorway in Europe while dealing with heavy anxiety could be easier. Found confidence and comfort in getting really good at murder. Will go a little berserk, as a treat. Wanted to be a sniper but does not have the patience. ADHD icon. Fanon knows in their heart he can be categorized as a sopping wet man who needs a forehead kiss and a grilled cheese cut diagonal.

Kim "Horangi" Hong-jin 🐯

Joined the military to escape gambling debts then found out he’s actually really good at being in the military. Knows about pop culture phenomena first, cool about it when you finally catch on. Fighting unspecified inner demons. No one knows why he wears a mask but fanon assumes he has delicious scars.

(Bonus! His actor, Nick Martineau, is a menace!)

So there’s a lot more but, listen, look at me, ok? Look at me. I am holding your face in my cupped hands. I am looking into your eyes. I am speaking so earnestly. Listen, I am so not normal about this ok? Please message me if you want to know anything else. I will be so stoked.

Genuinely, it was really fun to watch a bunch of lets plays and find it went from surprisingly good to actually good to oh I’m INVESTED invested in this. Replay/rewatch value is high, and there’s plenty of neat things that work well, good fridge horror, and a lot of the game runs on the characters just really liking each other. A central pillar of the story line is that Ghost makes a friend =) and that saves the day. Which is nice. There’s plenty more in the game to talk about but this is just what I’m taking away to share for now.

Ok thanks for asking, I hope some of this was helpful!

#call of duty #modern warefare ii #mwii #asks #kitsune2022 #Ghost #Soap #Gaz #Price #Alejandro #Rudy #Graves #Farah #Lazwell #Konig #Horangi

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yootaesowlwrites · 11 months

Text

Smutober List

I know I am months early, but I want to start now because I’ve been working slow lately and I want to post something for each day while also making the fics a decent size as well. So here is the list, plus prompts I’ve chosen (a wheel picker chose randomly) for everyone I’m currently writing for. I gave each of them 2 prompts to make it extra challenging for myself and there are a few that seem like it will challenge me. Which I will start either this weekend or next week when I am feeling better.

Also please note, I’m currently no writing for every SKZ member as I’m not too confident yet, but for those I am confident enough to write about, they are on the list, and masterlists for them will be created.

I am also still deciding on which days will get double posts or if I will continue into November with the remaining posts.

If anyone/writer wants me to post my prompt list for use, please let me know.

1. Kim Youngbin — “Give me a little show.” + “Can you feel what you’re doing to me?”

2. Kim Taehyung — “I never knew you were such a dirty girl / boy.” + “I swear to the goddesses i won’t stop until you’re shaking.”

3. Q / Ji Changmin — “Aw, your legs are trembling, does it feel that good?” + “Call me ‘Sir’ when we’re alone like this,”

4. N / Cha Hakyeon — “Choke me and bite me,” + “Are you going to eye fuck me all night or are you going to do something about it?”

5. Kim Inseong — “Get on your knees.” + “Did I tell you to stop?”

6. Leedo / Kim Gunhak — “Let me watch you touch yourself.” + “I want you now.”

7. Kim Sunwoo — “Bed. Now.” + “Your head between my legs sounds so good right now.”

8. Xion / Son Dongju — “Can you not keep that damn tongue in your mouth?” + “Cum for me.”

9. Lee Keohnee — “I guess I’ll just get off all by myself.” + “Has anyone ever told you, you have really nice hands?”

10. Kim Younghoon — “You must forgive my lips... they find pleasure in the most unusual places.” + “I’d like to lick your pussy / cock. i'd like to hear you scream my name.”

11. Seo Changbin — “Go ahead. touch it.” + “Be a good girl and spread your legs.”

12. Lee Juyeon — “I love the way you look with my fingers inside you.” + “I want to taste me on your fingers.”

13. Kevin Moon — “Are you sure? Once we start, i might not be able to stop.“ + “I love it when you talk dirty.”

14. New / Choi Chanhee — “Are you growling?” + “Which do you prefer, fingers or mouth?”

15. Eric Sohn — “How many times have you jerked off to me?” + “I just want one tiny taste…”

16. Dawon / Lee Sanghyuk — “I don’t know what to do.” “Then let me teach you.” + “Forget the bed… let’s do it right here.”

17. Ju Haknyeon — “Get on your hands and knees, right now.” + “I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.”

18. Choi Minho — “Have you ever used handcuffs?” + “I love it when you kiss my neck.”

19. Hyunjae / Jaehyun — “I want you, all of you. i want to feel you inside me, deep inside me. i want you to tell me when you’re going to cum, hear you moan my name and fuck me harder.” + “Don’t cover your mouth… I like hearing you.”

20. Yoo Taeyang — “I know a way to release all that nasty tension.” + “I want to taste you.”

21. Lee Seoho — “I’m not wearing any panties.” + “Don’t make me take you home and punish you.”

22. Rowoon - Kim Seokwoo — “Did you touch yourself while I was gone?” + “I desperately want to take you out for dinner and slow dance with you until the sun comes up, but I also want to grip your hair as I watch you writhing underneath me.”

23. Hwang Hyunjin — “I-I want to touch you too. Please remove the cuffs…” + “Fuck me like you mean it.”

24. Chani / Kang Chanhee — “Lay back and touch yourself. I want to watch.” + “I like it when you say my name like that.”

25. Lee Jaeyoon — “I could watch you ride me all day.” + “Don’t be gentle.”

26. Zuho / Baek Juho — “Did you touch yourself?” + “Don’t cum yet…”

27. Hwiyoung / Kim Youngkyun — “Finish inside me, I mean it .” + “I want you to touch yourself”

28. Yeo Hwanwoong — “Can you help me with this zipper?” + “Each of my thoughts about you are improper.”

29. Lee Sangyeon — “I think you deserve a treat.” + “Are you trying to turn me on or are you really that oblivious?”

30. Onew / Lee Jinki — “Grab the headboard for me, will ya?” + “I was just about to wash up. Care to join?”

31. Han Jisung — “Faster,” “I need you to hold onto something then.” + “Don’t you dare pull out.”

32. Lee Taemin — “Are you trying to seduce me?” + “I don’t have to be inside you to make you feel good…”

33. Jacob Bae — “Excuse me for being too forward but your lips make me wonder what the rest of you would taste like.” + “Can I join?”

34. Lee Know / Lee Minho — “I like it when you touch me there.” + “I want to watch you fall apart.”

35. Key / Kim Kibum — “Sit on my face.” + “I want you to leave marks.”

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bleachbleachbleach · 9 months

Text

7/2 - 7/19/2023

It’s been kind of hard to get back into thinking about my WIP? Which is an interesting experience, because yeah, sure, getting back into the idea of writing (what are words? who are these characters even) is usually a challenge, the "rotating this WIP in my brain" part is not. The Rotations have been a part of nearly every day for years, up until I needed to get serious about writing my Train Fanfic. And now it’s been almost three weeks and I’m still… honestly just fixated on my Train Fanfic. Every day, still thinking about it!! Train!

I did have to write something for another fandom a bit ago, which I wasn’t initially excited about. It’s for a challenge I’ve participated in every year since 2010, and have helped mod for a lot of that time. As mod, I basically get assigned whatever prompt set we think will be hard to give to a regular participant. Friends, the prompts were Not Good, LOL, and I’m really a very one-fandom-at-a-time kind of person, so I was like, "but... this is not Bleach... I do not want it right now!" It was actually a fantastic writing experience, though—I loved spending time with my blorbos in that fandom, and the writing went really quickly; I finished in 4 hours what for Bleach would take me 12 hours to 12 weeks, and I certainly can’t complain about that.

I really love how telegraphic you can get with the writing over there, and how that allows you to slash away so much narrative, really pare it down, and let the shorthand stand on its own. I think it works so well there because if you write late enough in the canon the characters have these very rote, old hat experiences they don’t feel the need to narrate in full, and the same goes with their relationship to each other. I’m not saying that can’t be done in Bleach, but I often feel like there’s a degree of novelty to most Bleach experiences where like, some weird shit is going down so even what is routine can’t entirely be so; or they’re doing it in new company, or after some fresh set of circumstances that have changed the terms of engagement in either major or minor ways, or they’re going to have to remember to write a report about it later; and the POV character is often needing to take all these things into account. Which is also enjoyable! And I’m not saying my blorbos in this other fandom are static and never have new experiences lol. I just think they’ve perfected the art of distilling their experiences very efficiently, and/or being comfortable with giving less of a shit. It was fun to write in that space!

I also wrote a bit of a Bleach fic I started last summer, which I’d backburnered because while I’m interested in the character relationship and the general premise, I haven’t yet been able to tell myself why it would need to be a story. And without those answers, it just feels kind of gratuitous in a way that I don’t like. There is more of it now, and there are more ideas with promise, but also more elements that feel gratuitous. I know I’m talking in vague generalities. But it’s kind of like—I don’t want to do this character the disservice of presenting her experiences as smooth and soft and clean when they surely were not; but it also feels like to delve into the parts that are jagged and awful requires a really strong narrative/character payoff. Because otherwise I’m like, well, she deserves to have stories that don’t need to be told. So I still need to figure out what the story is that needs to be told, and why it would need to include these things. I KNOW, THE VAGUE GENERALITIES, B3 WHAT ARE YOU EVEN TALKING ABOUT. I am talking about wanting to write a post-Soul Society arc fanfic about Hinamori and Jiroubou, which is surely the natural precipitate of a Soul Society Arc rewatch. It involves a lot of negative interactions with Gotei civil servants and the Gotei healthcare system, and how condor!Tobiume came to be, and a lot of suffering that, while 100% already extant in canon, just makes me feel like… if it’s all to be written out instead of something that happens behind closed doors, then it had better be worth her time.

But what I really want to finish this summer is finish Part 1 of my WIP, not work on this absurd Jiroubou fic!! I have no idea why I was doing that. Rukia has so many things to do in her chapters! Renji has a vending machine to encounter in his! There are alarmingly forthright heart-to-hearts with Akon to be had! Why am I not writing these things, and why have I not written them at any point in the last three weeks!!!!!

#i wrote this so i could convince myself to actually write my wip #self!! go!!!!

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othramblings · 4 months

Text

Ok gonna share my response to the person who I recently replied to a post of. They responded to me and then blocked me so I am going to share a screenshot of what they wrote before I do because I can't reblog it. I honestly mean no hate. As I have made clear I have a hard time sitting silently as Nathan is put on a pedestal and Haley is criticized (which is what the original post did even if they didn't mean for it to be that way which triggers me more bc it's such a MS thing to get his audience to feel that way against a female). Before I do though, I wanna acknowledge that they they blocked me, which is their call, but it's kind of funny because 1) ppl blocking others for not blindly stanning Nathan Scott is 100% a common theme amongst OTH fans, and it's worth pointing out and 2) a post or two down from the original one the OP made says they want Haley haters to come at them lol. I don't want to come for anyone, but I can see how it seems that way. Probably inadvertently it is, but like I said I really can't stay silent when people criticize Haley and put the blinders on and excuse Nathan's actions.

ALSO I had to search for their original post, which is why I came across the other one they made. I then also saw a post they made right after about how weird it is that I responded to them, considering I never engaged with any of their other posts. This is my side blog girl! Come on now lol. I don't interact with anyone because it's hard to when it's your side blog.

Their response to me:

My response:

I don’t want to minimize your experience and it’s so uncomfortable to even be talking about real-life experiences in comparison to this show, so I really don’t want to say much further. I am sorry you had to endure that, and anyone who’s been in a similar situation to yours knows how awful and difficult it can be and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone. This conversation is about the show and that’s what I’m going to focus on. I think it is worth saying though that it seems like there’s some projecting onto Nathan from your own experience. We all relate to characters differently and everyone’s entitled to do their own thing. But again this conversation is about Nathan and Haley, and how the fandom overlooks what she had to go through because of him.

Anyway, back to the point, that’s not the experience Nathan had; as he says on the show he knew Carrie was getting attached, and he liked it. Nathan is Carrie’s boss. We females know the power our male bosses hold over us. We have been arguing to legitimize this in the U.S. Why when it's Nathan does none of that seem to matter all of a sudden? Suddenly his being male and a boss is what makes him vulnerable according to Nathan stans. How?? I am not implying that men can’t be abused, or that men who are bosses can’t be abused. But by their nanny? Really? That’s been hitting on him and he’s been engaging with it? That is a reach at best. It's uncomfortable to have this conversation and I think that's why so many don't challenge it. But Nathan is antagonistic. He just also is passive when women hit on him. That doesn’t mean that Carrie didn’t assault him in the shower because she did. But SO much until that moment, Nathan was complicit in BECAUSE he liked it. We saw him like it. That doesn’t go away just because of what Carrie did. Again he knew what Carrie was doing. She was flirting with him and he flirted back. He watched her swim naked with Haley waiting for him in the bedroom, playfully calling him her hero! He told Carrie she looked good at the bar. I don’t know why this is all getting overlooked.

That’s the thing about a lot of Nathan story lines with other women, including Rachel. The show gives him some throwaway scenes where if you just look at those it does seem like he’s not interested—like when he tells Rachel ‘not for a second’ when she asks if she’d have a chance had it not been for Haley being pregnant. But he still entertained her. We as an audience were made to feel like there was something happening there. Back to the Carrie storyline, James did a good job of being confused, but he’s bad at giving nuanced expressions when it comes to his acting a lot of the time. He struggles with it. We should not be wondering if Nathan is confused…that’s not how a faithful loving husband would behave. Especially not when his wife just forgave him in the blink of an eye for being borderline abusive. How about delving into that for a change. Why doesn’t that bother people as much as Haley not firing Carrie sooner? Again, focusing on what Haley could’ve done to prevent Carrie from doing what she did is not OK. There’s an implication here that we can’t critique Nathan but we should be saying that everything Carrie did rested on Haley’s shoulders because she didn’t fire her sooner…. That’s a big no from me. Nathan is the one who led Carrie on. That doesn’t change because of anything else in your post. And I’m gonna call out all of these posts that I see that blame Haley because it doesn’t matter if you’re a Scott Stan. He messed up huge in his marriage in season 5. This is not the time or place to be critiquing Haley. His wife who stood by him and ran their home and took care of their child alone for months. Who had faith in him when the nanny started to act up. Deflecting the blame onto Haley is a copout so that Nathan doesn’t get as much of the blame. If people can’t see how dirty he did his wife here, regardless of how Carrie treated him, then they are essentially saying that Nathan’s suffering matters more than Haley’s. It doesn’t. Especially on a show made by Mark Schwan, who neglected Joy as an actor. I’m not gonna overlook what Haley had to endure like Nathan the character or Mark the showrunner did.

I also personally think people defend Nathan so much in season 5 because it is so hard to stomach all the nonverbal weirdness that goes on between Nathan and Carrie. To accept it is to come to terms with him not being the dreamboat people project him to be. It is also so gross to me that Mark Schwahn would create all this nonverbal weirdness between Carrie and Nathan so that we as an audience feel uncomfortable, question what's happening, and are afraid of what will happen between them but at the same time have the Male character toe the line of cheating but to some he *technically* didn't and that's all that matters.

#one tree hill #oth #naley #nathan x haley #who's gonna tell her I follow her on twitter 😭😭

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envysparkler · 1 year

Text

I posted 165 times in 2022

145 posts created (88%)

20 posts reblogged (12%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@envysparkler

@upswings

@thisiswhereikeepdcthings

@mylittleredgirl

I tagged 164 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#envy answers - 118 posts

#whumptober2022 - 37 posts

#fic ideas - 23 posts

#compliment - 12 posts

#batfam - 10 posts

#my snippets - 9 posts

#faqs - 4 posts

#kidnapping - 4 posts

#greenie - 4 posts

#jason&bruce - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 94 characters

#i'm saying i would totally fight a guy dressed as a bat if it would get me my doctorate faster

My Top Posts in 2022:

I need the fic where Batman responds to the Red Hood exactly like a parent with a rebellious teenager. he looms out of the shadows to admonish Hood for stealing Black Mask’s kryptonite. he confiscates the rocket launcher. he grounds Jason for releasing the Joker.

the GCPD, watching the most notorious crime lord in the city get scolded by Batman: what is even happening Hood: YOU’RE NOT MY REAL FATHER Batman: the paperwork disagrees. also, you blow up one more warehouse and no more Alfred cookies. Hood, whining: but I had to blow it up, it was full of drugs! and drug dealers! mainly the drug dealers. Batman, shaking Hood like an errant kitten: murder bad.

172 notes - Posted November 9, 2022

okay, imagine everyone gets the Robins mixed up. look, it’s hard, their color themes are all too similar, two of them have ‘red’ in their name and two of them have ‘robin’ in their name, and apparently one of them was a girl, and honestly this is too much background reading to be a goon. and it doesn’t really matter if you get their names mixed up, because it will inevitably end with you beaten unconscious and ziptied to a telephone pole. can’t keep things straight with a concussion anyway.

so, fic where a random group of thugs decides to kidnap a Robin and sell them off to their nemesis. only they get the Robins wrong. every time.

Hood squints up at Deathstroke. Deathstroke stares down at him. “in which universe does this look like Nightwing to you?” “he’s got wings on his chest!” “that’s a bat, you moron.” “oh, uh--wait, where are you going?” “you managed to snag the one Bat that’s not opposed to killing, and I’m not going to sit around here and wait while he blows this warehouse up.” “but we searched him--urk!” the warehouse explodes when Deathstroke is two blocks away.

Red Robin groans and pulls himself off the floor of the warehouse. Black Mask makes a hissed growl. “you got the wrong Red, you utter moron!” “s-sorry, but you said--” “I gave you a very clear description! I said red helmet! does this idiot look like he has a red helmet to you?” Red Robin yawns, politely covering his mouth. none of the goons notice that his hands are free. “what am I supposed to do with this skinny-ass creativity-challenged kid, huh?” snick of a bo staff extending. “oh,” Red Robin smiles, “I have a few ideas.” screams.

Spoiler stares unblinking. Ra’s al Ghul stares back, also unblinking. the cave glitters with green light. there is a marble chessboard between them. “would you like a game?” “sure, sounds like fun!” both of them ignore the screams of the hapless goons in the background.

Robin snarls like a vengeful rattlesnake, trussed up with a giant bow on his head. Cluemaster fights the urge to break something. “I’m sorry, but which one of you idiots identified this kid as my daughter?” “I--we--um--” “he’s the wrong age, gender, race--” ��we didn’t want to assume!” “aw, how progressive of you!” everyone looks up. Nightwing is perched there, smiling. Batman is perched there, not smiling. “oh shit--”

Deathstroke stares upward, as though searching for patience. “you called me here, wasting my considerably expensive time, to tell me that you have Robin.” “yessir.” “why do you think I give a flying fuck about Robin?” “you--you hate the Teen Titans, right?” “that was ten years ago--you know what, fuck it, fine, show me the kid.” the goons haul in Nightwing. Deathstroke stares, and then smiles. “well, what do you know, you idiots finally managed to get your Robins right.” the goons perk up. “so you’ll buy him?” Deathstroke unsheathes his sword.

“oh, I didn’t say that.”

340 notes - Posted October 22, 2022

Bruce isn’t the one with a crippling desire to adopt any black-haired child thrust in front of him. no, that’s one hundred percent his children’s fault.

(or, elder batkid holding younger soon-to-be batkid like simba in lion king: “adopt him, or I will.”)

Nightwing finds Jason stealing the Batmobile’s tires. he’s amused. he finds out that Jason doesn’t have a family and he makes the puppy dog eyes at Batman, the ones he knows Bruce can’t resist. Batman tries to stay strong. Nightwing uses his secret weapon and informs Bruce that if he doesn’t take Jason in, Dick will. Bruce folds like a bad hand (he can’t have grandchildren at this young) and tries to console himself that it’s just this once.

(we all know that’s a lie.)

Red Hood does his whole showdown at the Tower. in the process of insults being bandied about, he finds out that Tim has not yet been adopted by Bruce. Jason is affronted. outraged, even. this whole showdown loses half the emotional punch if Tim hasn’t been adopted. Jason didn’t come here to beat up some random kid wearing Robin colors! Batman is extremely surprised to see Gotham’s latest crime lord appear in front of him with a growled ultimatum and a bruised Robin dangling from his grip like a scruffed kitten. Batman doesn’t know why Hood’s threatening to adopt Robin, but of course he can’t let his son Tim be kidnapped. it’s only when he’s filing the papers that he realizes why it sounded so familiar, and Jason is trying to reschedule his showdown with Robin when he’s attacked by a weepy Batman.

(Bruce is starting to wonder about his children and their propensity for adoption.)

Tim gets attacked in the Cave by a ninja with a sword. a very small ninja who proclaims himself the Son of the Bat. Tim is beyond excited, this is his chance to adopt someone into the family. Tim presents Bruce with a hogtied Damian and chirps the line at him, beaming. Bruce blinks at him. (“Tim, you’re bleeding.” “tis but a flesh wound.” *muffled shouting* “oh, apparently it’s poisoned, but I feel fine.” “TIM--”) Damian is none too pleased by Tim’s claim--“I have no need of your ridiculous threats, I am Father’s rightful heir!”--but is secretly happy to be assured of a place in this strange tradition.

(“No, stop laughing Clark, this is a real problem, Damian tried to get me to adopt Jon the other day--I said stop laughing--”)

360 notes - Posted October 19, 2022

okay so one of those ‘take a canon scene and see how it works in fanon batfam’ ideas. in this case, the Batman v Red Hood fight, you know the one, yes that one where Bruce beats the everloving shit out of a Jason that’s not fighting back.

how do you make this work in batfam, you ask? well 😈.

Jason needs connections in the underworld for some case. problem is, Hood’s been an antihero for a good long while now, and most people consider him a Bat. Jason’s solution is simple--stage a confrontation so public and so egregious that the entirety of Gotham knows he’s not a Bat anymore.

and whaddya know? Batman’s the only Bat in Gotham at the moment. Steph’s visiting Cass in Hong Kong, Tim’s in San Francisco, Damian’s spending the month in Bludhaven with Nightwing, it couldn’t be easier. Jason just has to convince Bruce of this plan and they’re good to go!

(Jason does a whole monologue to try and convince Bruce, ending on the ultimatum, “if you don’t help me, I’ll find someone who will!” Bruce panics. he’d rather have Jason plot a fake confrontation with him than go fight-flirt with Black Mask. one villain son-in-law is more than enough.)

it’s a whole production. Jason writes scene directions. there’s fake blood. a dramatic monologue. Batman tears the red bat off his chest. the kind of shit that Gothamites would eat up. by the end of this fight, no one in Gotham will think Red Hood is a Bat.

the plan goes off really, really well.

until it doesn’t.

what Jason maybe hasn’t considered is the vast plethora of people who love him, who would drop everything and come running to save him, and who’ve watched a bunch of footage of Batman beating the shit out of him. while Jason is completely off grid and unable to answer any calls.

Jason returns to the Cave to update Bruce that he found the intel he was looking for, only to find him being held at swordpoint by Talia al Ghul while a furious and weepy Dick demands to know why he did it. the rest of the family stand in silent judgment.

the Cave: *crickets* Bruce, pointing at Jason: it was his idea

408 notes - Posted October 28, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

on a more cracky note: Bruce getting possessed by something. it details how it’s going to completely ruin his life, bit by bit, inch by inch, and no one will ever ever know because Bruce exclusively communicates in grunts anyway.

Bruce freaking out, trapped in the back of his head, forced to watch as the entity interacts with his family with no one seemingly the wiser.

in reality, everyone immediately cottoned onto the fact that Bruce is acting weird and they’re all exchanging theories and solutions in the background and Bruce is unpossessed by dinner.

Dick: it got the tone of your hns wrong, it was more of a space is the absolute worst I hate it hn when it should’ve been a this city stinks like garbage hn.

Jason: you didn’t look constipated when you saw me shoot someone.

Tim: you only double-checked the mission info six times.

Cass: moved weird.

Steph: you didn’t make that eyebrow crinkle when I cracked a joke like you’re trying to be stern but inside you’re laughing because we all know I’m hilarious.

Damian: as if I don’t regularly check you all for possession, tt.

Alfred: I know everything, Master Bruce.

1,692 notes - Posted November 7, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #that long tag though #still a mood

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