#I can’t remember how any of them look like

[pierregazly]

a joke a day ꨄ max verstappen

max verstappen x reader

warnings: gross! terrible jokes, max is a nerd (in love) [777 words]

request: can i request a blurb for 🫶 6. telling a joke just to see them laugh with max?? thank you in advance!

Loud laughter filled the room, Max’s head thrown back against the chair, his body shaking as he processed your words. People turned to look at the usual stone-faced driver, confusion and questioning stares shared between the other occupants of the room.

“Schatje, you can’t say things like that. My god,” he said, his body still shaking in silent laughter as he wiped at his eyes and threw an arm around your shoulder to pull you in closer.

It had been a long weekend, qualifying not going in the way Red Bull and Max had hoped. Still high up on the grid, he had been outperformed by the Ferrari’s and a McLaren, his own frustration fading away with every small joke that fell from your lips.

“Max… if you were ever at a bank, and a little old lady came up to you and asked you to help check her balance, would you?”

Quirking an eyebrow down at you in confusion, he simply nodded his head.

“So you’d push her over, then? Get it… checking her balance?”

Shaking his head as a huff of laughter fell from his lips, you couldn’t help the small grin that began to grow on your lips. The jokes were always terrible, never any real humour to them… but they were always his favourite. The small, stupid humour always a positive addition to what Max considered to be a not-great day.

Breaking tension with silly jokes had been in a staple in your relationship with him from the start, from both sides. Whenever he knew you were having a bad day, a simple call and some silly joke would almost always brighten it.

“What’s a dog’s favourite super hero? Labra-Thor.”

You groaned, trying to contain your own silent laughter as you instantly covered your mouth to keep the snort at bay. You locked eyes with GP, his own exasperation evident on his features as he rolled his eyes at Max’s joke. It was common knowledge throughout the garage that the jokes were a never-ending thing once they started, both of you getting far too invested in doing your best to make the other laugh.

“I can’t believe how bad your jokes get every race, it’s worse than second-hand embarrassment having to listen to the two of you,” GP said, a small shake to his head as he muttered to himself while walking away.

All Max did was grin down at you, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead in unspoken gratitude. 

His humour was one of many things you absolutely adored about him. He was genuinely funny. Disregarding all the terrible dad jokes he thought were worth the extra laugh, he had a tendency to say things that were so out-of-pocket, had you gasping for air sometimes. Had you almost keeling over from how hard you were laughing, half the time unable to comprehend how he even came up with the jokes he said.

“Do you remember the first thing I ever said to you?” Quirking an eyebrow up at him, you nodded your head.

The first thing he ever said to you having been one of the worst jokes that had ever dropped from his mouth; a dare given to him by one of his friends when they realized he hadn’t been able to keep his eyes off of you all night long. 

“About if I liked your shirt? And if I thought your shirt would look better on my apartment floor?”

Shaking his head, “No, I think the first thing I said to you was ‘hello’.”

Rolling your eyes at his words, you shoved at his side. He was insufferable sometimes, but he was still grinning. No expressions of frustration, no anger, or swearing in other languages about how ‘shit the car was’. So, you really couldn’t complain. 

“I was right though, no? My shirts usually do look better on your apartment floor. Of course, they look far better when you’re wearing them. Much prettier on you than on me, that’s for sure Schatje” he said, a large grin overtaking his face as he bumped his hip into your side.

“Your shirts would look much better if you paired them with pants that didn’t look like they were from 2016, darling.”

Huffing down at you, a mock glare overtook his features.

“I’ll talk to Charles then, perhaps he can lend me advice on where I can find new trousers? I suppose you did enjoy those cloud pants of his, you definitely had lots to say about his plaid pants, right?”

The look of horror that took over your face prompted a loud laugh to fall from the Dutchman’s face. Funny indeed.

this was just wholesome and seems very max-esque! (this is very much so not proofread im sorry) so i hope y'all love it 🫶🏻

#max verstappen #max verstappen x reader #max verstappen x you #f1 x reader #f1 x you #max verstappen imagine #f1 imagine #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 x reader #formula 1 x you #formula 1 one shot #f1 one shot #f1 fic #max verstappen one shot #max verstappen fic #writing #fluff

[steddiecameraroll]

Robin is gawking at him and he can’t figure out why.

“What??” Steve shrugs.

“Repeat what you just said.”

“What? That I’d kiss Eddie?”

What’s the big deal?

“Yes, yes that.” She narrows her eyes and leans over the counter. “Since when?”

“Since always?” He doesn’t understand what she’s not grasping. “Why are you so surprised? Don’t his lips look super soft?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never once clocked the smoothness of his lips.”

“Oh come on,” Steve scoffs. “You’re telling me after months of hanging out with him, you’ve not once looked at his mouth?”

“Oh I’m sure I’ve looked at his mouth. The man does not shut up, but I can say I’ve never noticed his lips.”

“Whatever, I don’t believe you, but OK.” He shrugs because there’s no point in arguing.

“Steve, I’ve never noticed any man’s lips. Including yours. And the fact that you have is what I’m trying to explore right now.”

“What do you mean?” He feels a weird twinge deep in his gut.

“What do you mean, what do you mean?” Her voice is oozing with disbelief. “How many other men’s lips have you noticed?”

“I don’t know, I don’t keep track.”

Obviously. That would be really hard to do. He’d have to have a notepad or something in his pocket at all times.

“You don’t keep track?” Her eyes look like they’re going to pop out of her head. “Wait, so you’re telling me there’s too many for you to remember?”

“Yes? I mean, even today there was that one customer with that jean jacket and that guy with the colts hat. And it’s only 11.”

“Oh my god.” Her jaw is on the floor.

“What? I don’t get it. We talk about customers we think are hot all the time?”

“OH MY GOD!” She slaps her hand over her mouth.

“What? I seriously don’t understand what’s happening right now.”

“Steve.” She swallows before continuing. “You’re attracted to them?”

“If they’re hot, they’re hot. What’s the big deal?”

“I have NEVER thought a man was hot. I can understand how they’re attractive but me myself and I, doesn’t get it.”

“Never?” That doesn’t make sense.

“Never. I’m a lesbian. That means I’m attracted to women. What you’re telling me, so very nonchalantly, is that you, Steve Harrington, have found men attractive. In fact, you’re telling me you find Eddie Munson attractive. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

“Not really.” He crosses his arms and cocks his right hip out.

“You’re not as straight as you might think you are, buddy.”

“What?” No.

“You find more than women attractive.”

“But I’d never date a guy?”

“Oh really? Tell me, have you ever thought what Eddie’s like as a boyfriend? Or like maybe how big his dick is?” She sounds frustrated.

“Well…kinda?” He remembers that one weekend he had everyone over to hang out at the pool, and the first time Eddie got out of the water. His swim trunks were wet and clinging to his body, and Steve’s eyes clocked the outline of the man’s dick. He did wonder if the man was a grower as well as a shower. “It was only because it was like right there.”

“You’re a disaster. What about the boyfriend thing?” She tilts her head and shrugs.

“Wait, so you’re telling me you’ve never thought what it might be like if we dated? Not even at Scoops?”

“Oh my god, no! Les-bee-an,” she waves her hands in front of her body.

“Whatever, it’s not like I’ve thought about marrying him or anything. Just kissing and like how sex would work, y’know between us. If he- or if I wanted him to- which doesn’t sound bad, I’ve just never done that so I don’t know if I’d like it. Would he like it?” Steve leans on his elbows over the counter, and almost gets lost in thought over the idea.

“Now you’re having sex with him?” Robin squeals.

“How do I know if I don’t like it if I don’t try it? Maybe I’d love it. This feels like a way for me to find out.”

“I think I need a break. Don’t follow me.” She points at him. “I’m happy you’re exploring this…thing, but I’m not equipped for this. My best friend likes boys.” She shakes her head and walks away murmuring to herself.

“I don’t know that I…,” he trails off when she disappears into the back room.

Steve’s thumbing through one of the movie release magazines on the counter when the bell over the entrance catches his attention.

“Hey, big boy.” Eddie gives Steve a bright smile as he saunters up to the front counter.

“Hey, man.” Steve closes the magazine and stands up straight. Perfect timing. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Oh yeah? Missed me?” He leans over the countertop and looks up at Steve.

Steve rolls his eyes. This goofball. “Yes, I’ve got a question for you. Rob and I were talking earlier and she said she’s never checked out a guy before. That because she’s a lesbian, she’s not attracted to men, at all. But that makes no sense because I’ve found a ton of guys attractive and I’m straight. Maybe I’m not dating these men, but I’d definitely fool around with them. She’s lying right?”

Eddie’s staring at Steve with his mouth slightly agape. The smile is gone and Steve can see more of the whites in Eddie’s eyes, like he’s surprised or something.

“You get it, right? Am I crazy?” Steve’s heart is starting to pick up.

“F-fool around?” Eddie’s voice cracks a little.

“Yeah, like, hand jobs and making out or whatever. Maybe more? I don’t know, I’ve never done more than a blow job but I’ve thought about it.”

Eddie shoots up with a violent cough, like he swallowed wrong. He starts slamming his fist into his chest trying to catch his breath, and Steve stands there watching the guy have a coughing fit.

“You OK?” Should he get Eddie some water?

Eddie raises his finger asking for a second, and keeps slapping his palm against his chest. Steve stands there getting more and more self conscious as each second passes. After a good 20 more seconds Eddie seems to have caught his breath and gives Steve a small smile.

“Just for, uh clarifications sake, did you give the blow job or get the blow job?”

“Both?”

Who only receives and doesn’t pay back? That’s rude.

Eddie huffs and stumbles forward slightly catching his hands on the counter. He nods at Steve, then lets his head dip down, his hair falling down over his face.

“Right, obviously. Did, uh, did you enjoy it?” Eddie’s voice sounds strained.

“Yeah? Who doesn’t like sex? I haven’t done it a lot but yeah. Don’t you like it?” Is he missing something?

“Uh huh,” Eddie flips his head back and looks at Steve. “I like it a lot.”

Steve shrugs, and then watches Eddie drag his eyes slowly up Steve’s body like he’s cataloguing every inch of it. The direct attention catches Steve by surprise, and he can feel a blush spread across his cheeks.

“So, y-you get it, right?”

“Yeah,” Eddie sighs. “I just didn’t know you got it.”

“What? Of course. Doesn’t everybody find all hot people attractive?”

“Some of us,” Eddie’s voice is almost gravelly now, and it’s doing something to Steve’s body.

“Some? What do you mean?”

“Not everyone thinks like we do, Steve. Wow,” he shakes his head. “We. As in, you and I. As in you, Steve Harrington, pretty boy extraordinaire. Ohhh this changes everything.” Eddie murmurs almost to himself. “How did this, uh, topic come up with Robin?”

“We were talking about you, but hold on.” Steve waves his hands around. “Not everyone? You’re telling me that not everyone is attracted to everyone?”

“Me?” Eddie ignores Steve’s question. “What about me? You were talking about me?”

“Yes, I said you had kissable lips but go back. I don’t understand. I can name five guys right now who agree with me. I mean, two of them had girlfriends when we messed around. In fact, Stacy was there one time. She only watched but like, what are you saying?”

“Kissable lips? You think…? Wait, five? You’ve had a threesome?”

“I don’t think it’s a threesome if she didn’t get involved. Right?”

“Riiight, ok wow. So you’re straight, you say?”

“Yes, why is this so hard to explain? I figured if anyone would understand it would be you, because you said you’re bisexual. So you’re actually attracted to men and women as in you’d date them both.”

Eddie blinks at Steve a few times before nodding slowly. “Right, cause that’s what that means. Um, is Robin still here?” Eddie’s looking around the store now trying to find the woman.

“No, she had the early shift.”

“Ok, well, um so I’m gonna go home and blow my brains out, but uh if you want to…,” Eddie taps his fingers on the counter. “If you want to come over later and find out how soft my lips are, let me know.” He slaps his hand in the counter, and turns away heading toward the door without glancing back at Steve.

“Um, OK.”

“See ya, Harrington.” Eddie throws his hand over his head and pushes himself through the exit.

Steve shrugs and scoops the magazine back into his hands. Maybe he’ll get to see how soft Eddie’s lips are around his dick.

#steve harrington is a disaster #steve naked in bed next to Eddie while hes panting and trying to catch his breath: I gotta tell Rob I liked it #Eddie face palm groan #they’re two months deep before steve realizes he’s not straight #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #steddiecameraroll posts #my writing #steddie ficlet

[hwaitham]

𝓪𝓷 𝓲𝓷𝓬𝓸𝓶𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓽𝓮 𝓹𝓲𝓮𝓬𝓮 𝓯𝓸𝓻 𝓪 𝓶𝓮𝓬𝓱𝓪𝓷𝓲𝓬𝓪𝓵 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓽 𓈒 ˖ ࣪ 𝜗𝜚

boothill x f!reader . nsfw — mdni . comfort ?? fluff ?? angst ?? i dunnoooo ! ! ! a bit of everything . established relationship ﾉ implicit mentions of oral sex ﾉ i am running with the idea that boothill doesn't have a human heart + cannot feel touch on any metal part of his body . . if this is not what is canon i am ! Sorry ! ! ﾉ things get rather prosy n perhaps pretentiously poetic near the end so i am sorry x 2 ꒱ྀི 855 wc

“so, you can’t feel anything when i touch you here?” 

your cheek is nestled comfortably atop of boothill’s shoulder as you sit straddling him, slip your fingers beneath the rolled sleeve of his vest and feel up the smooth contours and edges of his bicep.

it’s rather bittersweet how you ask, when you ask— seemingly every week now, as soon as the two of you can steal for yourselves a moment of reprieve. embracing him by the fire under the quiet of the dark night, holding your entire universe in your arms.

‘i don’t ask because it turns me off, or anything— nothing like that at all, really!’ you’d explained, when first you asked him some new moons ago. ‘i’m just curious, is all… you don’t need to prove your humanity to me.’

“nope, still can’t feel nothin’ below my neck.” he pops the ‘p’, then pops open an eye to gaze down at your frame settled on his lap. “don’t think i’ll ever be able to, for that matter.”

you look soft. sweet. supple. so warm. limbs flushed with blood, heart beating with love, life. and he remembers well how you feel of it, too. the custardy creaminess of your skin from all those times he’s kissed you to sleep— your cheek and neck and the hot swell of your breast— from all those times he’s devoured you out of your dreams with his tongue, your toes curling over his shoulders.

“not even here?” spreading your thighs further atop his hips, you lower your hand to the strong dip of his side, trace your touch along the various ports lining it, down, down, down, until you’re able to curl your fingertips past the waistband of his slacks, palms pressing into his groin.

“wow… first time you’ve been brave enough to touch me there, doll. what’re you playin’ at?” 

boothill’s eyes turn feverish and he smirks, sun-blood handsome and toothy and ineffably human. 

his hands leave their place behind his head to gently hold your waist, pull you closer into him. “you tryna bewitch me into bed?”

giggling softly, you shake your head, happy to see him smile. happy to see the face you trust, the face you love. “no… just, i was thinking…” you remove his hat, tame the wild tendrils of sleet and onyx hair with a tuck of them behind his ear.

then, you cradle his head within your palms, thumbs smoothing comforting lines over the lift of his cheeks, before you lean in to lay a tender, wet kiss there. 

“… thinking that i should probably give you lots of special attention here,” you kiss his cheek again, and again, and again. “also here,” you lay another to his forehead, upon pushing back his bangs, “can’t forget about here, too…” a third and final to the soft curve of his lips.

you melt into his broad frame when he kisses back, obedient as you open your mouth for him, let him lick over your teeth and gums and tongue and stake his claim, greedily take the burgeoning morsels of your heart that you so blithely offer him.

“mm, this special attention— ‘s real nice… do it more often, yeah?” he whispers between kisses, his hands wrapping further around your waist to effectively hug you against him.

when you’re left bereft of oxygen after a mere few moments of intimacy, nodding eagerly is the only thing you can bring yourself to do— because you just want to be good. 

wanna be so good, wanna be everything to you, wanna keep you safe, wanna make you happy, wanna be a home for you, wanna make you feel.

“when i kiss you, do you feel it here?” you’re breathless as you break free from boothill’s lips, unzipping his vest with haste and tugging it past his shoulders to expose his torso to you. your palm finds the metal plate of his chest and you press down gently over the spot where his heart is… or rather, where it should be.

your lover’s body is always cool, icy to the touch— an alloy of antimony and silicon and whatever other heavy metals his creators have deemed suitable enough to aid in the formation of an unbreakable shield, indomitable weapon. 

and truth be told, boothill does not feel it there— where you hope for a heart to be. 

but he does feels something, a jolt of electricity through the wires that take place of sinew, bolts that take place of joints. it may very well be the effect of a placebo on his mind, a wish for wanting to feel in his mechanical heart when you slather your love over him, though it’s all the same, really: the syntax of his binary language.

you don’t need to prove your humanity to me.

perhaps he is made of elemental scraps, but he is still organic, plum-hearted, throat lined with the warmth of the sun. because where do antimony and silicon come from…?

a planet’s crust that its ocean so tenderly covets and little homes in the sand for little sea creatures from millennia past that she keeps close, safe, happy; that she kisses with, well… warm lips.

“i feel it everywhere.”

#𝓭𝓸𝓵𝓵𝓯𝓸𝓵𝓭𝓮𝓻 ⑅˚˖ ݁ ˓ ෆ #boothill x reader #hsr x reader #hsr smut #i wrote this in . 2 n a half hours so im sorrie if it is like ! Bad lol ! ! > < i juuuuuuust . . . . #guys ): iiiii ): like him . so so so so so so so much . . . 🥺 #pwz i wan him to be genuinely truly happie i wnt him to have a companion i want him to feel pure love i want . . . . ): #i want him ! to live for himself 🥺🥺 . . i jus . Godddd ! ! he makes me so sad i am So ! Sad !

[azullumi]

"honey in your mouth when you say my name" ; aventurine

premise— happiest birthday to the man who had stardust on his wake and the sun for a soul; he was warm and he was everything you have ever dreamed for. this is a gift to the man who knew cruelty all his life but remained kind despite the cracks and blood on his skin.

content tags — 2.1 QUEST SPOILER, established relationship, soft aventurine (WE SAY IN UNISON), angst and fluff, a few metaphors, mentions of death and blood, birthday sadness (idk what u call that), NOT PROOFREAD I DID THIS ON A RUSH, 1.4K ; one-shot (bullet-form)

note — i have exams tomorrow and a lot of things due but the moment i heard it was his birthday, i wrote this for him AAAAAAAAAAAAA

AVENTURINE can still remember the smell of rain the day blood filled the line of his vision. It’s horrifying, haunting, sharp in all of its corners as it finds him in a sunny morning when he tries to look for the pieces of himself scattered on his floor, hidden beneath the carpet (and when he lifts the pattern, he’ll find torn and broken memories of when he was still young and loved). For this reason, he is not really into the prospect of celebrating his birthday, not when the day is intertwined with grief.

He avoids telling people of his day, avoids thinking of it by burying himself in hundreds of paperworks and cases to handle. He can’t think of that day without thinking of death, without thinking of his sister who laid lifeless in the golden sands (she probably thought of him in his last moments), without thinking of his mother who prayed even when her knees and hands are bleeding (the rain came to her as a blessing, but for him it has become a curse), and without thinking of his father who never got to hold his son (he never knew what he sounds like).

He’ll remember everything, that was his curse.

He never celebrated that day, not anymore, not even once. Perhaps he tried, perhaps he went into the bakery with the thought of getting himself a cake and lighting a candle, perhaps he tries to seek beauty on the day that he was born, especially when it coincides with the day of rebirth of his goddess. Perhaps he did and perhaps the cake was left rotting in his fridge because he can’t seem to enjoy the taste of it when its reminiscence of the bitter rain and fresh blood. 

(He can’t bear the thought that silence was his only companion either) He’d like to think that the meows of the critters as they approach him translate to words that greets him a happy birthday, but how could they? It’s a silly thought, it’s not like they can understand him nor any of these stupid traditions, and it’s not like he can understand them either. So he still remains alone.

But there, you came—unexpected, unwavering. When you learnt of his birthday, when he told you of his past and every line that exists in his being, a shell of determination washes on the shore of your thoughts. It didn’t have to be grand, it didn’t have to be extravagant; you only wish to make the day memorable for him, even just for once. You wanted him to let go of the thorns and feel how nice it is to have nothing that makes your hand bleed.

Although, you must admit, you were anxious, scared, nervous, everything while you were preparing for it. I mean, sure, it’s just going to be something simple with you and him only, and you made sure that in some aspects of it, he’ll enjoy it. You know that the burden he carries is heavy on his shoulders, and letting go is never easy nor simple, but for once, you wanted to do something for him to ease the tension that lies in his thoughts and bones.

Imagine the surprise and confusion on his face when he comes home to his apartment smelling like freshly-baked bread, tangled with the scent of lit candles and flowers, and the aroma of food. Surely, this wasn’t a burglary, right? What type of burglar would leave rose petals on the path of his doorway leading to wherever? What type of burglar would spend the time to bake a cake and even cook dinner? And what type of burglar would dress up so pretty and smile at him while their hands are trembling behind their back?

There’s the sound of his voice calling out to your name and soon, he heard something cluttering followed by rushed footfalls, and there you were, peeking behind the wall with a nervous grin plastered on your lips. You greet, “You’re home early, I thought you were going to be late?”

“I was going to be but I decided to bring some of the leftover papers home instead. I didn’t know you were going to come by, you should have told me.” He answers, taking off his dress shoes and placing it on the rack, “I could have come home much earlier if I knew.”

You laugh, emerging from behind the wall, “It’s fine, it’s fine.” You try to find the words to say in your trembling palms and fidgeting fingers. If he knew of what you were planning, surely, he would stop you and you didn’t want that. Albeit you don’t recall him saying he didn’t want nor like celebrating his day, but he did mention that he simply avoids it—does avoidance equate to dislikeness or hatred? It was plaguing your mind.

He hums, ushering you to come close to him so he can wrap his arms around your figure, engulfing you in a hug as he rests his forehead on top of your shoulder. “Why are you so dressed up? What’s the occasion? I don’t recall setting a date for the both of us tonight.”

“Do you not remember?”

Panic quickly shot over him like a bullet as he stood up straight from his position, “We have plans tonight?! There’s nothing on my schedule for today so I thought.” He’s quick to utter apologies, anxiety seen on his face as he spoke. It breaks your heart a little hearing what he’s saying—he doesn’t even remember.

“‘Rine, it’s your birthday.”

Silence.

Disbelief outlines the line on his lips, “What?”

You bite the inside of your cheek, feeling like there is something that wraps and binds around your chest which suffocates you; It was your turn to panic, feeling it overwhelm the nerves of your body, “You mentioned it once, perhaps a few months ago. I wanted to make it a little special for you so I prepared something for us, for you. It’s okay if you don’t want to, I mean I can just—”

You were interrupted by him, your sentence cutting short, “Oh, love, you didn’t have to.” He cups your cheek, warmth seeping into your skin. You didn’t listen to his voice for so long to not be familiar with how it cracks and breaks when the words fall from his lips.

“But I did and I wanted to.” You answer, softly, reassuring him as you lean into his touch.

“Having you beside me already makes it all special.”

You laugh, eyes forming into a small crescent that reminds him of the moon, “And I want it to be more than just that kind of special.” And he sighs upon hearing your answer, it’s not one of frustration but it still has worry forming on your stomach as you swallow, “Are you mad at me?”

“No, how could I ever be mad at you? I’m just surprised.” He brushes the pad of his thumb across your cheek, gazing into your eyes with such affection and adoration as if the stars were born from his eyes. He presses a kiss on your forehead, whispering to your skin as if a small confession, “Thank you.”

How could he ever be worthy of you?

You hum, "I love you, Kakavasha."

Aventurine is grateful—it fills every gap and crack on his skin, soothing the scars of his flaws, and everything that sets him apart from his humanity. He never knew that cakes could taste this sweet, so kind and gentle as it melts on his tongue.

Slowly but surely, he soon let the warmth settle in his skin. The gray walls that surround that day are soon painted and drawn with different colors, with doodles that were made by your hands mixed with a few of his works. Perhaps the ocean of his grief will still haunt him but he won’t drown in it, nor will he find comfort in the cold embrace of nothing and everything that rejects him.

(Kakavasha, your sister would be so happy for you.)

And when the day comes once more, he’ll see and dream of the rain but not how bitter and heavy it was, but how it soon became warm and sweet, washing away the blood on his feet.

special mention to @toorurs, thanks for always being there for me even when i say the most nonsense of things or when my sheep genes are acting up 😔 i hope everything is going well for you and will go well for youuu!! sorry for being inactive AND NOT REPLYING TO YOUR TIKTOKS AAAA I SWEAR ILL BE MORE ACTIVE SOON I WILL REPLY EVEN WHEN YOU STILL HAVEN'T MESSAGED 👆 anyways this is a very short dedication note because gosh i still have to study hejsad ilyyyyy a lotttt please always remember that !!

© azullumi — do not plagiarize, copy, repost, nor translate any of my works.

#—stellaronhvnters. #aventurine #hsr aventurine #aventurine honkai star rail #aventurine x reader #star rail aventurine #aventurine hsr #aventurine x you #aventurine imagines #aventurine fluff #hsr imagines #hsr x reader #star rail #hsr #honkai star rail #honkai fluff #honkai x you #honkai imagines #honkai #honkai x reader #azul.writes

[toorurs]

505 - aventurine

synopsis: the water that soaks his skin, are those the tears of his goddess, the rain - her gift for his birthday or yours that stain his pale skin? his touch is cold as he attempts to wipe away your tears but isn’t he the reason why you’re crying in the first place? 

pairing: aventurine x reader (gn) | wordcount: 1.2k | content & warnings: established relationship, fluff, angst, hurt/comfort, reader cries, aventurine cries, mentions of alcohol, tba if i find more, proofreading is yeah no; ficlet

a/n: literally had to rush-write this cause i thought i was so genius for writing this. hopefully no one wrote this before me.

“tada! happy birthday ‘rine!”

colorful party garlands are adorning his walls, connected from one corner to another. in your hands you hold a small cake, grip careful so it doesn’t slip out of your grasp. on its surface there was an almost molten wax candle, glowing as it lit up his dark living room, the only other source of light was the tall floor lamp in the back that stood next to the in dust covered piano. 

once you’ve asked him if he could play you a small piece which he reluctantly agreed on - it’s been a while since his fingers flew across the tiles. they move on their own, freely like birds who seek a place where they can belong to, a place on the piano where the pads of his fingers press down on and touch to play a sound. (his hand should belong with you not somewhere on the instrument.) amidst his play you hummed the melody along, it soothed him, your voice was gently chiming in his ears. 

now your voice is ringing in his ears again, your birthday wishes go in one ear and out of the other, aventurine tries to listen but his attempts are futile. he can’t listen, no matter how much he tries. it’s the rain's fault, aventurine wants to complain. it platters against the windowpane, kissing the glass as the droplets of water pour down.

the once orange lit flame on the candle went out, it vanished just like your smile. “kakavasha, are you alright?” you gingerly set down his birthday cake on the coffee table and quickly readjust the chique white table cloth before directing your gaze back at him, a worrisome shadow gleams over your eyes as you shoot him a caring look, pursing your lips as you slightly bite down on your lower lip - a habit of yours you do when you’re anxious. he made you nervous.

a proper response doesn’t fall from his lips, instead he utters a small “i’m.. i just need some time to process this.” as he gives you an awkward smile and tries to maintain eye contact. pupils full of concern look back at him and aventurine isn’t sure if he can handle it any longer. 

someone actually cares about him, you set up and prepared all of this on your own for his sake, somebody actually knows him and remembers his birthday. so why - why isn’t there a single ounce of ecstasy in his body? 

how come he always spoils a surprise?

the freshly polished floor squeaks as he takes a step behind him, backing towards the door of his apartment. “i’m sorry.” he mutters, voice crumbling as he voices his apology as he scoots away once more. “i just need some time on my own right now.” he tries to give you a reassuring smile, one that says “don’t worry!” but he fails - he always does. after all he’s a loser; he was a loser - he’ll always be a loser, no matter what.

his back faces you now as he rushes out of his stuffy apartment out into the front yard, a faint “aventurine!” can be heard as you rush after him, not bothering to close the door and lock it as you immediately rush after him, your footsteps can be heard in the entire building, echoing throughout the shallow hallways.

you catch up to him, out of breath as you pant heavily. irritation clearly showing in your eyes, he doesn’t blame you, after all who runs aways after their partner prepared a whole birthday for them - only fools would; only he would.

“rine.” you breathe out, inching towards him and stepping closer. your voice sounds desperate, it longs for an answer. aventurine is quick to react, covering your eyes with the palm of his hand. “don’t look at me.” he whispers, his plea getting lost in the rain. “please.” his voice quivers in vain.

no one’s allowed to see him like this, not with tear stained cheeks and red puffy eyes. he’s weak when it comes to you - he’s always been.

swiftly you push his hand away from your eyes, making him take his hands off your eyes too soon. your vision was no longer blocked by him but by the tears that were starting to form in your eyes, welling up and almost spilling. “do you not like it?” you hiccup, eyes glimmering in perplexity as kaleidoscopic tears slide down your rain wetted cheeks.

it was never my intention to make you cry, he tries to apologize as he rubs circles along your cheeks and eyelids while he tries to wipe your tears away but he can’t. he’s not sure if its the rain preventing him from doing so, his gift or rather his curse that fell down on the day he was born, hinder him from making you stop tearing up or if it’s because of you. your tears fall like raindrops, droplets of water that his goddess once shedded as she gifted him with his blessing, his first ever gift: his luck.

he can only crumble as you cry, pulling you into a tight embrace, stuffing your face into his rain drenched shirt. “no, no, don’t cry.. please don’t cry.” his voice breaks, it shatters upon hearing your cries. “i liked it, i loved it, really, please believe me.” he coughs, it feels like he can’t breathe, the air is suffocating. 

“then why, why did you run away?” you ask as you stare up at him, eyes full of desperation, a look that yearns for an answer. “i.. i was overwhelmed.” he mutters. “this is the first time in forever that i've celebrated my birthday.” in the company of someone else, he wants to add but he doesn’t. 

aventurine can’t remember the last time he’s actually celebrated his birthday, perhaps it was after he got into the IPC and tried to make use of the money, thinking that he could somehow forget his worries by buying himself a cake and inviting some coworkers only to end up alone in the corner with a glass of alcohol. (he had to force himself to down that thing, he doesn’t like the taste of alcohol, it's bitter and burns on his tongue. it doesn’t do any good besides making him miserable)

you bring your hands up around his neck, your left hand slightly gripping it as your right one traces over his tattoo, he adores you even when you latch your fingers tightly around his neck, he always does. 

the way your fingers move over his tattoo is sensual, the motion’s soft as you rub the pads of your fingers over his neck. “let’s go back in ‘rine.” you whisper as you lean into his neck, your breath fans against the skin and it makes him shudder beneath you as your lips ghost over the spot before launching in and kissing it, warm lips meeting his cold skin.

he gulps down the lump inside his throat before agreeing “yeah lets.” he hums as he follows behind you.

may 5th, 505, the date is circled in a big right red in your calendar, coincidentally it’s the same number as the one from his apartment. 

he goes back to 505, back to his apartment - back to you as you lay on your side in his warm bed sheets, hands fiddling with the duvet as you later on place them on your thighs and look at him with a smile.   

and once again tags to my beloved @azullumi HII i hope youre sleeping well rn, ik you have to be up soon for school but i hope that you got enough rest!! i've just wanted to thank you for the fist time when we've talked, i immediately clicked and got along with you very well to the point where i've already vented and ranted to you even though we knew each other for a week or so? i've grown very comfortable around you in such a short time because i felt like i could trust you, you're really like a person whom i inspire to be and oh also remember that one time when i told you about how i was insecure about my writing and stuff i literally like literally cried as i texted you all that stuff and you responded so understanding to me and comforted me so well. it really soothed my worries. azul you're so incredibly dear to, i love you a lot. i think about you a lot like when seeing a stone HAHAH or a chair... and i'm always longing to talk to you. you're so fun to be around. love you a lot <3

© TOORURS 2024. stealing, copying, translating, reposting my works on other platforms is not permitted.

#honkai star rail #hsr #honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #honkai star rail fluff #hsr fluff #hsr aventurine #aventurine hsr #aventurine x reader #aventurine fluff #aventurine angst #aventurine imgines #aventurine headcanons #hsr imagines #honkai star rail imagines #hsr headcanons #hsr drabbles #honkai star rail drabbles #honkai star rail x you #honkai star rail x gn reader #𝓣𝓞𝓞𝓡𝓤𝓡𝓢: works ✯ #—stellaronhvnters.

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Hero shows up at the gates of villain’s manor, all beat up and heavily injured, looking to seek help. Of course, they immediately get treated roughly & shoved away by the guards at the gate. But little do they know that just as villain was about to exit the gates to go somewhere, they witness the scene and immediately comes to the hero’s rescue. Then proceeds to shoot a death glare to their guards, promising to deal with them later after taking care of their hero :)

Before another plea could drop from their lips, the hero fell to their knees. Rain and blood soaked alike through the many layers of their uniform and the adrenaline was fading ever so slightly.

Somewhere in their exhausted mind, they decided to sleep right here in front of the door if they had to. Even if it meant they’d freeze to death. What else was there to do?

It must’ve looked funny how the hero had collapsed there and readied themselves to beg again. As if they were a worshipper who prayed to a god that would never answer.

The guards had no sympathy left for them and the hero couldn’t even blame them — they were the enemy after all, the big bad enemy. But the punches and the pushing around…that had robbed the hero of all the energy and hope they had had left.

“Please,” they tried again. Their voice was hoarse. Their throat burnt. “I can’t go home.”

One of the guards laughed and the hero lowered their head. It was easy to focus on the rain instead of the unkind words the other spoke. After a few other insults, the hero stopped listening and concentrated on their breathing. Keeping themselves alive was a priority right now. They didn’t need disgusting comments.

They needed bandages, they needed rubbing alcohol. They needed a bathroom and towels. They needed needles. Thread.

Maybe a hand to hold onto.

The hero closed their eyes for just a moment. They figured no one would see the tear running down their cheek when it rained cats and dogs like this.

When had they become this fragile? They couldn’t remember. But they knew the wound burnt into their shoulder and that the blood would seriously trouble them in a few minutes.

They were sure they’d pass out any second now.

“You’re going to catch a cold.”

The hero gathered the strength to look up and to their surprise, they saw their nemesis, all dressed up. Confused, the hero looked around, only to find the two guards further away, talking quietly. They avoided to look into their direction.

The villain looked upset.

“You…”

The villain shook their head and tutted. They crouched and their fancy clothes got drenched in filthy puddle water. The hero wanted to protest but forming words was so, so difficult right now.

“You don’t look good,” the villain said. They cupped the hero’s face with one hand but the hero realised a little too late that it wasn’t an offer of affection. The villain was merely checking if they had a fever. In their voice was a hint of frustration. “I’m sorry about that.”

“…about?” The villain’s hands went over the hero’s body quickly and even though the hero understood they were searching for broken bones, they wanted the villain’s hand to stay on them a little longer.

“My guards...I’m sorry they treated you like that.”Now, the villain’s voice was calmer. A bit more controlled.

“Oh…” The hero tasted bile. For whatever reason, they felt bad that the villain was here, getting their clothes all dirty and punishing their guards.

No matter what they did, the hero felt like a burden. Even now when they truly needed help.

“What happened to your shoulder?” the villain asked.

“Are you gonna kill them?” the hero asked quietly.

“The people who did this to you? Probably.”

“I meant your guards,” the hero said. They stared at the two, suddenly feeling anxious. Maybe they shouldn’t have come here. Whatever they touched only decayed.

But the villain chuckled softly. The hero felt some sort of relief.

“No, of course not,” they said. Nevertheless, their gaze on the two wasn’t that friendly. “They’ll get a scolding, of course. But there’s no need for any harsh punishments.”

Their expression was soft now and the hero couldn’t help but feel the sweet comfort of their enemy’s hands on them. The pain in their shoulder was merciless and they were quite sure death was already kissing them. But it didn’t feel urgent.

“…your clothes,” the hero whispered. The expensive fabric was drenched in blood and rain. The hero felt guilty.

“I won’t go to the auction, don’t worry.”

“The auction?” the hero whispered but they started to feel quite lightheaded.

“Don’t worry about that. One more thing, though. You told my guards you can’t go home. Why’d you come here?” the villain asked. The hero didn’t realise it yet but the villain pulled them closer to pick them up.

“Ah, that’s kinda embarrassing—”

“I won’t judge you.” The villain’s lips brushed the hero’s ear now and the hero couldn’t help but shiver.

They grabbed the hero, ready to pick them up and the hero nearly mistook them for an angel.

“I kinda still live with my parents…I know it’s embarrassing but—”

“Don’t worry.” The villain’s smile was warm. “Today you’ll stay with me.”

The hero knew there was no room for a debate.

#greetings from Norway! #boom clap the sound of my heart #writing snippet #heroxvillain prompt #heroxvillain snippet #heroes and villains #hero #villain #hero x villain #heroxvillain #an answer for an ask #request

[aloesarchives]

Birthday Special(JJK Oneshot)

TW/Warnings: Domesticity, AFAB/Female Reader, Family life, Slight self-coded Fem!Reader

Pairing: Toji Fushiguro x Fem!Reader

Pronouns: She/Her, Mom/Mama (Though no physical description, reader had some self-coded elements)

Word count: 1.5k words

Decided to write something because today is my birthday(May 3rd)! And I'm officially 21! Thank you all for you love and support for the past 7 months of me writing for JJK! Also, this is the Valentine's day I referred to.

“Papa, you’re thinking too hard about this. You know Mama doesn’t ask for much.”

“Yeah, Dad. It shouldn’t be hard to get mom a present. Remember that full-size green tea hand and body lotion you got her? She was way too happy about it and was on the verge of crying happy tears.”

Toji sighs as his kids are behind him trying to ease his stress. Once again, like Valentine’s day, he was struggling to get a present for you. But this time, the stakes are higher because today is your birthday. Not some holiday Toji remembers because it’s one of the many times of the year capitalism does a complete take over for the sake of consumerism, which he can never avoid every time he goes out.

Though his kids have a point, he always wanted to do or get something for you. While you do the occasional mall shopping, it wasn’t often. Maybe once a month if lucky. This always posses a problem for the three because you were the best gifter in the family. Knowing what to give to anyone but only hinting at minute items. Thus having to think outside of the box or really watch your eyes latch onto anything longer than seven seconds. 

Megumi and Tsumiki don’t blame Toji for struggling since your demands weren’t demands but rather promises. You have been nothing but good to Toji for almost two decades. Something Toji knows many people take something like that for granted. Unfortunately, becomes terrifying to know how easily many fall under a dark spell. And Toji fears himself on certain days for not giving what you deserved.

“I know, Megumi. But your mother deserves nice things for herself. She still wears the necklace I gave her when you two were young. That’s almost ten years. Now, you both do some scooping while watching the time. We have to get the cake at 3:45pm.”

The siblings looked at each other before shaking their heads in helping their father’s hunt for a perfect present. They looked around the vast sea of stores to give themselves for any ideas. They were overthinking this whole process because every idea was shot down at the reality that you did have everything you ever wanted.

You have everything you ever wanted is what you always said to them.

Perhaps there’s something else they can give you that reminds of that. The lightbulb above Tsumiki’s head went off as she asked Toji the jewelry store he got the necklace from. He becomes curious as she scans the windows for something until stopping and pointing. Toji and Megumi look over to a display of multiple charm bracelets. 

“If Mama has the necklace with us in it, why can’t she get a matching bracelet to go along with it? She doesn’t have one that does.”

Now, Toji and Megumi were seeing Tsumiki’s vision.

“Good eye, kiddo. Shame on me for not thinking about that sooner.”

Toji lets Tsumiki handle the bracelet creation, occasionally having him and Megumi to be on the same page. Once finalized, Toji goes to fish his wallet for his card to give to Tsumiki to pay. After printing the receipt, the lady gives the card back but it ends up dropping onto the marble counter. Megumi cringes at the metallic clanging it made so he grabs it for Tsumiki to give back to his dad. Everyone in the store glances over at them as Toji puts the card away. Megumi raises a brow at his father because Toji had a smirk plastered on his lips.

“Why are you smirking?”

Toji pockets his hands as he looks at him.

“Don’t worry about it, Megs. Just know there aren't a lot of people with metal credit cards. Anyway, we gotta get movin’ because we need to pick up your Mama’s birthday cake and food for dinner.”

Tsumiki joins them as they head off to finish birthday shopping. Once getting home, they set up everything for you to come home to. By the time you come home, they’re done. Making your presence known, you relax into your humble abode. You walked yourself into the kitchen to see what your family has set up for you.

“Happy Birthday, Mom!”

You're greeted by a hug from each of your kids. Chuckling at the surprise they always seem to do when the day is about you. You hold them close and kiss their foreheads as their hugs re-energize you. Once parting, they made way for their father as your husband stands over you. Holding that dumb grin that you fell in love with over these years.

“Happy Birthday, Doll~.”

Giving a forehead kiss of his own, he holds you ever so softly but with the affectionate firmness. You giggled at how Toji is when it comes to physical touch. He can’t seem to get enough of it. Before eating dinner, you wanted to blow out the candles so they could eat the cake afterwards. The kids say their part and end with “We love you, Mom. Always.” Toji cracks a joke that always makes Megumi roll his eyes before getting into his own sentimental speech.

“Thank you for spending almost 20 years of your life with me. Happy Birthday, (Y/N).”

Ugh, and that softness he had at the end. Made you want to kiss him with all the love and warmth. You thought it’s time to eat dinner when Toji pulls out a small pink bag and places it in front of you. Surprised, you looked around at your family.

“What’s this, guys?”

“It’s for you, Mama. From us.”

Though curious, you smiled as you looked into the bag and pulled out a small box. Upon opening it, you couldn’t stop the smile that took over. There, in the box, was a silver charm snake chain bracelet with a small (F/C) gem at the center of a beautiful silver heart charm. But that’s not make you smile. It came from when your eyes landed on the other three charms attached to the bracelet. Two of those were dangling charms, one of an elegant flower and the other of a small silver puppy. The other charm was a clip-on with the colors of dark blue and black. You recognized them to represent the three that ultimately fulfilled the word “family” for you. 

The flower is Tsumiki as it was her favorite color, the puppy was obviously Megumi, and the last one is Toji for sure. Your smile began to painfully pull at your lips because you realized Toji’s charm closely resembles his wedding ring. Clasping the bracelet on your wrist, you admired how it looked on you.

“It was the kids’ idea to do this. I just paid for it, Hon.”

You knew Toji’s lying but didn't have it in you to call him out. This gift was just too perfect. You go over to give your motherly affection to thank Megumi and Tsumiki, your two children that gave meaning to your motherhood. Once having enough, you go over to Toji. The man you undoubtedly cherish and completely devote yourself to, your husband and your other half. You hug Toji lovingly, taking in his warmth and presence. Nothing in this world brings you comfort and ease than the man you choose to love never made you regret giving your heart and soul to.

Toji just chuckles with his signature grin, returning the hug with the same amount of affection. Yet your children can see the adoration and tenderness in his eyes, knowing full well he never looked at anyone that way because you’re the only one to bring it out of him. Looking up at your Toji, your gaze softens but your smile still holds its homeyness. He stares down at you before he leans in for a kiss you gladly accept. Even Megumi smiles with his sister while watching their parents express their love for one another, seeing them pull away from the kiss.

“They’re truly your kids since they always knew how to give me gifts. It goes with my necklace now. Thank you for this.” Saying as you smile up at him.

“Ah~, they knew because they have  good eyes. Just like their mama. Happy Birthday, (Y/N). Thank you for your love…and thank you for being you.”

The absolute tender affirmation was unlike any other. Though your birthday was a reminder of how many years you’ve been on here, it also serves as a reminder of your milestones over the years. Looking at your life, you got the best out of it. A family of your own and the love from someone who’s been with you through it all. As you tell Megumi and Tsumiki to go ahead and eat, you lock eyes with Toji. Both filled with a love no one can feel except the two of you. Toji hugs you close from behind as you interlace your hands into his, feeling your bracelet pressed up against him. Gazing upon Megumi and Tsumiki, both of your creations born out of each other’s unmatched love for one another.

This will be added into one of your many best birthdays you had.

Tags w/ links:

@luqueam @ploylulla @tqd4455 @wolywolymoley @captainbabybear @ravenswife

Tags w/o links:

@szillx @SleppyAnn @g0th1xac1d @kneelarhmstrung

Taglist form Here!

#x reader #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #fem reader #megumi fushiguro #dad!toji #fushiguro tsumiki #toji x y/n #jujutsu kaisen x reader #mama!reader #x reader fluff #jjk fluff #x fem!reader #x female reader #jujustsu kaisen x reader #reader insert #toji fushiguro x female reader #birthday special #wife!reader #x wife reader #jjk toji #jjk megumi #aloesarchives

[voxsmistress]

Mama Didn't Raise No Bimbo - Part 10

This took me a few days as it just was not wanting to play out how I wanted, finally today I figured it out! My poor brain!! Hope you enjoy guys - a little one on one time with a certain Vee ;)

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven / Part Eight / Part Nine / Part Ten / Part Eleven

Thanking them both for helping you get ready and promising Velvette you would take loads of photos tonight you grab your purse and phone – glancing at the lone coffee left on the table you sigh a little under your breath. It woulda been nice to have seen Vox’s reaction to your outfit. Rolling your eyes at your own thoughts. Jeez y/n get a grip! Walking to the elevator you miss the smirks crossing Vel and Valentino’s faces. If you had, you’d have known you were walking into a big surprise.

Walking onto the black carpet at the front of the club you were kinda overwhelmed by all the flashing of the cameras, the paparazzi shouting out questions, compliments and insults thrown at the different demons and sinners on the carpet was just crazy. If you thought the paparazzi were bad when you were alive … when dead and in Hell, they really don’t give a shit.

You move further into the chaos, giving the best winning smiles at all the cameras, twisting this way and that showcasing off Velvette’s outfit which you made sure to mention numerous times (she’d killed you if you didn’t) and answering a few questions or rather answering the ones you were comfortable with – so far so good. Perhaps best to get yourself in the club before you mess up by tripping over or saying something you shouldn’t.  You went to walk to the doors until a slimy arm crept around your waist, spinning around you come face to face with some fish-like sinner. Ew. Lifting your lip in distaste you pry his arm off – you swear to Lucifer if he has left ANY slime on you or your outfit, you’d skin him alive and make sushi! Giving the arm a hard shove back towards its owner you snarl. The fuck did he think he was going to achieve? Before you could give the fucker an ear lashing another arm wrapped around your waist. Twisting your head with a glare you came up short when you faced an unamused Vox who was glaring at the creep.

“Vox?”, he flashes you a quick wink.

“Keep smiling sweetheart, you are on camera after all. Remember – perfection is our brand”, his fingers dug into your hip as he dragged you closer to him. Even with your stilettos he was taller, you had to tilt your face up to look at his expression which had its usual charming grin but the look in his eyes were telling you a different story. Leaning forwards his charming smile glitches as he menacingly spoke to the sinner: “I really suggest you don’t touch what isn’t yours!” Both of you watch the sinner nearly wet itself as it scrambled away with apologies rushing out its mouth.

“What are you doing here?” You ask, giving your best smile to the cameras, resting your arm around his trim waist to stabilise yourself. Brushing your fingers against his suit you notice it’s a lot fancier than the one he usually wears, it was navy (of course) with thin white stripes but the thing that caught your eye was a pink pocket square in his chest pocket. And not just any pink. Your pink.

A small chuckle caught your attention, he smirked down at you when he saw your eyes were focused on the pocket square: “Vel thought we should be matching if we were going to the event together. And good to see you as well Songbird”.

Together? Uh? When did you invite him? Confused you try to keep the smile on your face as he moves you both forwards a few steps; at a quick turn you both face another set of cameras. Twisting you a bit too fast you almost stumble but his arm pulls you safely to his chest. Peeking up at him you can’t stop a playful smirk, you just know he did that on purpose. Your hands were resting on his chest, he was leaning down a little to keep his grip on your waist – the coldness from his fingers made you shiver a little making his smirk grow wider on his face. From the mad flashes you knew the paparazzi would be lapping this all up. You dreaded to think what the headlines were going to be reading tomorrow.

Vox pulled you back up so you can stand properly, though a possessive hand stayed on your hip as he let you step away from his body so you both could pose appropriately for the cameras. Carrying on down the carpet you blushed when some of the more … er raunchier paparazzi started asking some very personal questions about you and Vox. Unsure how to answer you look up at the TV Demon who gave you a wicked smile. Uh Oh. Winking at the paps he instead pulled you with him down the carpet, matching his steps till you come to a small queue at the door. Standing behind you he let both his hands rest on your hips, his chest brushing your back as he leaned forwards to whisper in your ear: “what has your heart racing little songbird?”

Clearing your throat while you turn your head so you can look at him over your shoulder you raise your eyebrows in amusement at the smirking Demon. You weren’t going to tell him the truth. That it was him being so close to you that was setting your dead heart a patter. Nope. You were not going to give him the satisfaction! It was also definitely not that his face was so close to yours that you could feel his breath brush your cheeks.

“It’s my first time on a ‘red’ carpet so it was a little nerve wracking”, you tell a half-truth. You actually were really glad that he was here to help you, “by the way thank you for helping me back there”. His smirk softens a tad as his fingers rub little circles against the bare skin just above the leather pants you were wearing. Tingles flow from his touch.

“I couldn’t just let you get mauled out there” he chuckled, “plus we cann’t have you going all Siren on us again. That wouldn’t have been good for our image!” Narrowing your eyes at him you huff.

“There’s such a thing as self-control you know. He would have just gotten cursed out that is all”, crossing your arms over your chest, watching as his eyes follow their direction before humming under his breath.

“Self-control is overrated sometimes”, his eyes flick back up to focus on yours with that devilish grin that you love. That coming from the control freak made you laugh and roll your eyes at him, that grin doesn’t leave his lips as he pulls you closer as some sinners walk in front of you. “Hmm you know y/n…” raising your eyebrows questioningly he lets his screen rest on your shoulder so his lips were just by your ear, “I just can’t get the smell of your perfume out of my head”. Catching you by surprise you couldn’t hide the blush that hit your cheeks from his words. Seeing he had managed to fluster you that wicked grin grew, lifting his screen off your shoulder he squeezed your hips before pushing you gently forward. Seeing the queue had diminished you walk with him to the door and allow the doorman to check off both your names, spying Vox’s name on the form you frown. He had an invite, why hadn’t he told you earlier in the week when you spoke about it?

Entering the club, you lean back and let the music distract you for a moment. The vibration of the bass and drums. Energy ran through your body from it. After a few moments you open your eyes and see an amused Vox observing you from your side, two glasses of champagne in his hand. Holding one out to you, you accept it letting your fingers run across his own. A smile of your own tugs at the corner of your lips as you both raise your glasses in a mock cheers and take a sip.

Moving towards a free table, Vox motions to the only high stool, laughing at you when you had to jump a little to sit on the stool – damn your shortness. Vox leans against the table so your knees were brushing his legs which shouldn’t have flustered you so much. He was being quite touchy feely with you tonight. Sipping on your champagne you couldn’t help admiring his stance. He just commanded power, even just stood leaning on the table. Teeth biting your bottom lip as you wonder if he could teach you how to do it, he looks over at you suddenly as if you had called his name – caught in the act you just decide to go with it. You let your gaze wonder down his body once more, slower than before (you’d already been caught so what was the harm with having a proper look?) before raising your eyes to his. A small glitch appeared on his screen. Ooh seems you have hit a small nerve. A sip of your champagne hides the victorious smile.

A dark expression was now on his face, a clawed hand now rested on your knee giving it a sharp squeeze. You were very tempted to keep up this game of cat and mouse, but something told you that you would lose. Not that losing would be a bad thing, but it might things a little awkward later on. Possibly. Maybe. Worth it?

“Mind telling me what you are doing here? I didn’t think club openings were your type of thing. More Val’s?” You try to distract the TV Demon, when he responded to you he didn’t remove his hand from your knee.

“True sweetheart, but this club has bought a lot of security stock from VoxTek so they extended me an invite. Truthfully, I wasn’t going to come but I got a very snappish text off Valentino”, his other hand reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out his phone. “That Angel bitch has dumped our Y/n. Get your ass in your best suit and get down to the club to support our girl” he repeated the text, eyebrow quirking at you when he finished. Valentino wrote that? Annoyed that he had called Angel a bitch, you would be speaking to him about that! But you were a tiny bit touched that he made sure you had someone with you tonight. That he knew you would be nervous. Wait. Our Girl?

“Our girl?” you question, finishing the glass of champagne you pop it on the table. Glad you had because when Vox leaned forwards his hand slid further up your leg, so it was now riding up your thigh making you tense.

“Yes y/n, you are our girl. You don’t seem to realise that when you entered an agreement with Velvette, you don’t just get one of us but all three. It’s what makes our trio work so well.” Swallowing the nerves down you frown at him.

“I don’t remember that being mentioned in the agreement” sassily you cross your arms. A sharp squeeze to your thigh made you clench your legs.

“It is an unspoken rule”.

“Funny that”. You roll your eyes. Of course there would be hidden little loopholes in the deal. It was too good to be true. “Any other unspoken rules I should know about?”

He tilted his head mockingly at you. Course he wouldn’t say if there was or not. God you needed another drink. As if he could read your mind – which he better bloody not be able to – he clicked at a waiter to get you both a bottle of champagne. Watching him command the waiter you didn’t notice the owner of the club had made their way to you.

“Miss Y/n, aren’t you just a dream, pleasure to finally meet you face to face”, twisting in your chair you face the Shark-like Demon. You didn’t exactly have the best rapport with Sinners and Demons who had shark features, usually they were loan sharks or something similar when they were human. Not ones you wanted to get into business with. Plus, the ones that had cornered you last week. Plastering on your best smile you hold out your hand for him to shake.

“Pleasure is all mine Mister Carp” the irony of his name was not lost on you. “Your club looks fabulous”, his creepy smile was starting to make you feel uncomfortable, so you were quite glad when Vox turns back to you with a full glass of champagne.

“Ah Mister Vox, great to see you here as well. I didn’t realise you were both an item?” Scratch that.

Laughing he slipped the glass into your hand and leant against the table eyeing the club owner as he sipped on his own for a moment. “Well, I was curious as to what you were going to offer Y/n here to sing at your club – you realise she has a lot of offers at the moment and as someone whose associate runs other clubs, I am a very interested party in making sure Y/n gets what she is worth and nothing less”. Eyebrows lost in your hairline you smile into your glass when the owner starts to stutter. It was apparent that he was not expecting Vox to be here, let alone with you and speaking about business.

“We already spoke about your salary here Miss Y/n” he bared all his teeth in what he must have hoped was a charming smile, unimpressed you placed your glass on the table while leaning forwards allowing Vox to place his hand on the back of your chair brushing between your shoulders. After having Vox, Valentino and Velvette all use their charming smiles on you – no one else’s seemed to work.

“And I rejected that offer as it was disrespectfully low for the talent that I have” you simply put, pointing to Vox you carry on “like Vox said, I have many others who are offering twice and thrice what you have offered to pay. So. Thank you for the opportunity and invitation tonight but I will have to refuse. I think we are going to take our leave now”, you step down from the stool. The shark-demon would have intimidated you slightly if you didn’t have Vox directly behind you with an arm looped around your shoulder glaring at the club owner.

Stuttering his apologies and other offers you just roll your eyes at the club owner. You place your arm around Vox’s waist and start walking for the exit, him laughing under his breath as you grumble about what a waste of time this evening was.

“I don’t know Songbird; I quite liked this little date of ours” – catching you off guard you stumble. His laughter grew as he removed his arm from your shoulder and put it back on your hip where it barely left this evening. DATE?

“You thought this was a date?” you asked in a bit of shock. Humming his lips were twitching in amusement. “Well …” you bit your lip and then thought screw it, “I thought you out of everyone would have planned a much better date and more entertaining than posing for cameras and being looked at like shark bait by creepy club owners?” It was now your turn to laugh as his screen once again glitched and he narrowed his eyes.

“You just wait Y/n” as you walked outside you took a deep breath of fresh air.

“With pleasure, Sir” you smirk up at the TV Demon who matched you with one of his own. This night might have been a bust but it definitely was interesting.

Tag List:

@tasha-1994  @azullynxx  @reath-solia @leathesimp @klorinda @twinklethewarrior @martinys-world @rosiethevoxobesser @the-maladaptive-daydreamer @songbrita @midge7838 @joumi13 @wonderlandangelsposts @th3rizzl3r

#hazbin alastor #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel imagines #hazbin vox #velvette x reader #vox x reader #hazbin hotel vox #hazbin hotel vox x reader #Hazbin vox x valentino x velvette #hazbin vox x reader #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin hotel smut #hazbin hotel imagine #Hazbin Hotel Fluff #vox x valentino #hazbin vox x valentino x velvette x reader #vox x valentino x velvette x reader #hazbin hotel velvette #hazbin hotel valentino #hazbin hotel vees #hazbin hotel the vees #valentino x reader #x reader #fem reader #reader insert #hazbin #vox the tv demon #vox #vox x you

[fromagony]

@jegulus-microfic | cease - may 4 | 831 words @ecstarry @godsofwoes @bellaxisworld prev part

“You are unavoidable.”

They waited for each other to talk, but they didn't. James felt like fainting, or maybe that was the alcohol in his veins, who knows?

His mind was racing, he wanted to scream at him, he wanted to shake him until he pulled the words out of him. He couldn't do it, and he was never good with silence.

“Reg—”

“James, you are married.”

James closed his eyes shut, his words stank like a needle. He was right, of course. Fuck, he was right.

“I am aware.”

“Then what is the meaning of this?”

James was on edge, he was tiptoeing around the edge, and he knew he was going to fall into the pit anytime.

“Look,” he forced out the words, “Regulus, this isn't easy, okay?”

“I guess—”

“No, no. Don't fucking talk, okay? Just listen to me. God, you don't have any idea how hard it is for me to talk right now. I don't care if you don't talk, I don't care if you end up hanging up on me. I just need you to listen.”

Even though he expected him to talk again, Regulus didn't. He did what James said, he stopped and started to listen.

James took a deep breath and inhaled deeply, his eyes were still closed.

“It was a mistake to invite you to my wedding, I'm going to forever regret it.”

“Why?” Regulus asked, his voice was tiny, almost whispering and maybe he was hurt.

“Ever since then, I can't stop—” he couldn't say it, he couldn't admit it, he didn't want it to be true. Yes, he thought about it. But telling his feelings and thoughts was something else. He was going to make them real. He still didn't want it to be real.

But, at this point of this misery, what choice he had left?

“I couldn't stop thinking about you, about us.”

Saying out loud made it ten times worse but, he felt as if something lifted off his chest. Now he was sure that he should do this. It was wrong but he didn't care. For the last two years, this feeling ate him alive. He couldn't tell anyone, not to Sirius, not to his wife and for sure not to his parents. There was nobody but Regulus. He would understand, and even if he didn't, James had no choice.

“It's funny, isn't it? I was the one who broke up with you and got married but look at me now. Calling you because I have been bearing these thoughts every day for two years.”

“James…”

James took a sip of his whiskey and continued, “I know how this sounds, believe me, I know. I just— it's just—”

He began to laugh, squeezing the bridge of his nose, he felt everything in an unbearable amount. This wasn't fair, nothing was fair.

“James, calm down—”

“I CAN’T FUCKING CALM DOWN!” he screamed, “I CAN’T EVEN FUCKING BREATHE FOR THE LAST TWO YEARS!"

“I can't fucking breathe, and I tried. Fuck, I tried to stop thinking about you, I tried to forget how you tasted, I tried to erase the memories of holding you in my arms, but you are just— I can't shake you under my skin. The more I try to stop, the more I think about you. And this is— this is just— it is not fair, okay? Not fair, I have a wife for god's sake! A wife, Lily, my Lily.”

He didn't notice when he stopped laughing and started letting the tears down on his face, it was torture.

“You have your Lily,” Regulus replied with a dry voice, “Yet, here you are.”

“I am here, yes,” James said, “I am at your mercy, and I hate every second of it.”

He took a deep breath, “ I hate that telling you all of this is making me feel better. I've been suffering for so long, knowing that confessing my feelings to you is going to be my salvation. But this felt wrong, having all these feelings as a married man. I am fucking married, Regulus.”

“I am aware, James. I was there, watching you make your vows to each other. I was there, remember?”

“Why did you come? Why did you join my wedding, Regulus?”

“Because,” Regulus said, “I wanted closure.”

James slowly sank to the floor and palmed his face. He couldn't talk, it was impossible to function. Maybe doing all this was his way to destroy everything he had. He never considered himself as a destructive person, but now, all he could think of was shattering everything he had cared for, for Regulus. This had to cease to an end, he knew it, but he didn't have the heart for it.

“Did you?” James asked quietly, “Did you get your closure?”

Regulus waited for a minute.

“Yes,” he said, breaking James’ heart in pieces like he did to Regulus years ago, “I got my closure.”

James couldn't say anything in return.

#jegulus microfic #jegulus #james potter #regulus black #regulus x james #marauders

[steviewashere]

Balls in Laundry Baskets: An Apology

Rating: Teen and Up CW: Bitchy/Mean Steve Harrington, Mean Eddie Munson (Both Briefly and For Good Reason) Tags: Post Season 4, Post Canon, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Arguing, Steve Harrington & Lucas Sinclair Friendship, Eddie Munson Gets Put in His Place, Lucas Sinclair is a Sweetheart, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, Protective Steve Harrington, Emotionally Hurt Lucas Sinclair, Emotionally Hurt Steve Harrington, Established Steve Harrington/Eddie Munson, Eddie Munson Means Well He's Just Defensive, Hurt People Hurt Others

This is chapter one, which also includes the first two pages that I already posted. Please keep your expectations low, as I'm still working on the second and final chapter.

Read on AO3

🏀—————🏀 “So, you and Eddie, huh?”

Steve startles at the sound of a voice, deep and hushed, from where he’s been waiting in Hawkins High’s parking lot. Hellfire was supposed to be out by now—6:50pm if his watch is correct—it’s their first time back since March and it would be cordial. But it seems that only Lucas got that memo.

“Jesus Christ, Sinclair!” He yelps. Holds his right palm flat against his chest, trying his best to rescind the spike of panic that is crawling through him. “I thought I told you to quit doing that,” he harshly whispers, rubbing his palm against his shirt. The scratchy material of his polo a balm against his nerves.

“Sorry,” Lucas sheepishly murmurs. Speaking at a normal volume, he asks again, “So, you and Eddie?”

He rolls his eyes. “What about me and Eddie? Can’t I just hang out with the guy without being pestered?”

Lucas shrugs. “You can do whatever you want,” he states, but Steve can already tell there’s somehow more. “But I didn’t think you two would be…buddies. Considering how he feels about, y’know, sports and whatever.”

For a moment, Steve considers Lucas’s approach. His fidgeting hands and his slightly closed off eyes. The hunch to his shoulders and the general unease that accompanies talking about Eddie. Which, that’s particularly odd. Aren’t they buddies, Steve questions himself. Wrapped up in the Hellfire club, their mutual interest in Dungeons & Dragons, the ragtag group of nerds that they are—all of that is perfect for their oddball friendship, at least Steve thought so.

“What’s wrong with you and Eddie?” Steve asks, beating around the bush. He doesn’t do cryptic. And he especially doesn’t do it with somebody like Lucas, a kid already smarter than him by several margins.

There isn’t an answer right away. But Lucas’s shoulders drop. His eyes go from frustrated to…sad. “Remember my championship game?” He asks, though it seems a bit much of a topic change. What does this have to do with Eddie, Steve has to wonder.

“Well, yeah,” he answers instead, “I was there. Had a pathetic date with a girl I hardly enjoyed being around. Mocked Tammy Thompson with Robin. Watched you get that winning shot. It was a, genuinely, awesome championship game.” And that’s the truth. It’s the best one he’s ever witnessed. Which is saying something, considering he’d played several championship games. All of them, though, were major losses. He’ll take those to the grave with him, with how often his previous basketball teams teased him.

Lucas gives a harsh single nod, a small smile that whisks away as soon as it appears. “Right,” he mutters, “I remember.” He leans against the Beemer’s bumper, shoulder brushing with Steve’s. Looks forlorn towards the high school’s doors, where Eddie and the rest of the Hellfire bunch should be spilling out any moment now. Steve looks on with him. Listens as Lucas’s voice drops low, nearly angry, fully spiteful, “I begged Dustin and Mike to talk to Eddie about my game. To see if the Hellfire campaign—which would be happening the same night—could be moved. And I, look, I understand that D&D means a lot to all of them, it means something to me, too. But I was really hoping to see my friends there. If not my friends, then at least Erica.

“They didn’t move the campaign,” he states so bitter, Steve tastes the words on his own tongue, “apparently a game where you’re shooting ‘balls into laundry baskets’ is too…mainstream and norm-ie for Eddie. He refused to move his precious game. Then, get this, instead of getting some random kid to play, they egged Erica in.” Lucas drags his eyes away from the school, head turning slow to look at Steve. He follows suit, eyeing Lucas back. His stomach churns with the vitriol painting itself unsubtly across Lucas’s face. “Color me surprised, I guess, that he’s going out with a jock,” he states, voice carefully blank of anything.

Steve stares on at him. He didn’t know this was the case at all. Remembers getting the phone call about Dustin wanting him to play, but he figured that had something to do with him bugging Steve for the millionth time. Because that was something Dustin wanted. For Steve to play. And, granted, Steve refused because it was too nerdy—unimportant and embarrassing. Yet, now he’s looking into Lucas’s face. Where hurt etches itself like solid lines of chiseled marble. Being told, instead, that Eddie’s holding his own bias.

Maybe he hasn’t removed his biases towards high school nerds, not completely. But he’s coming undone from that mentality. Considering Nancy and Robin and Eddie—Dustin and Mike and Lucas—even Max, they’re all big nerds. They all have some sort of interest with Dungeons & Dragons or theater or video games and math. And he loves them all. Though, Steve’s never stopped to think about the opposite side of the coin. Tail-side, where balls in laundry baskets is considered taboo.

After a deep silence when Steve finally digests this information, his eyebrows furrow on their own accord. Mouth downturning into a harsh frown, one that he feels to the bottoms of his feet. He stops himself in time from balling his hands into fists, but the urge to do so snarls in him like a newly unmuzzled, wild dog. A dog, he thought, that he trained obedient away from his anger. But it seems like once the teeth are bared, they never truly hide away.

“That ass,” Steve snarks. “What—so I have to reconsider all my biases surrounding nerds, reconstruct how I view everybody around me, and realize how awesome it is. And—what—Eddie can just get away with that…bullshit? That’s…What the hell?” There’s a little bit more of a bite to his words than he had anticipated. But it really isn’t fair. The table turns and he’s better for it, sure, but Eddie just…That’s not fair. The dog growls louder, drool burbling in its chops, a bark forming in the back of its throat.

“That’s what I thought,” Lucas says, “and I know, I know, that Dustin and Mike tried everything in their power. And that Eddie was the one to, y’know, be the asshole. But I thought that maybe my friends would be on my side. That they’d skip the game, show Eddie up. Not get my little sister involved or have fun without me or…I don’t know.” And the way he says those last three words stings something acidic inside of Steve. Corrosion and battery acid hot and alive in his stomach. Anger reaching the surface of his skin, words crawling and resonating in his mouth. 

The doors to the school open distantly and Lucas suddenly perks back up, blossoming from where he was wilted against Steve’s car. “Doesn’t matter,” he chirps, though it’s all fake, “at least I can play with them now, which is awesome.”

But before he can stride away, to where his bike is parked and locked up, Steve snakes a hand onto Lucas’s wrist. They lock eyes again. “I’ll talk to him,” Steve swears, “he’ll apologize.”

“Steve, you don’t—“

“You used sports as a means to fit in, right? Granted, popularity’s not all that cool and you know that especially now. But it was a…a—“ He snaps his fingers, searching for the word. “—A cover, something to find security in. And you had that. And that’s what the D&D game is to Eddie. Sports is my D&D, too.” He loosens his grip on Lucas’s arm. Neither make any sort of move. “Just because you were trying to find your people doesn’t mean you can be…” He chooses his next words carefully. “Ostracized or outcast by those who you found safety with before. Especially when those guys orbit around each other for the same reason. I’ll talk to him,” he urges, “and he will apologize, or else.”

Lucas gives him a softened look. “Thanks, Steve,” he mutters, “I wasn’t looking to start anything, but I appreciate you having my back. It really means a lot.” And then he shuffles away, towards his bicycle, small chat starting up with Mike and Dustin.

When Steve turns back towards the school, Eddie is sauntering towards him. Eyes wide. Smile big and easy. Yet, his soft features are all too nauseating to Steve’s chest right now. His heart aches. If Eddie thinks of Lucas’s interests that way, what does he think of mine?

He tamps down his annoyance and anger. Because Eddie takes his hand and is looking at him as if the world belongs to the two of them. But that hurt on Lucas’s face is like a dagger impaled in his brain when Eddie greets nice and low, “Hi, baby. Been thinking about you the entire time I was in there.”

Steve smiles, though it may come off as more of a grimace with how Eddie falters. “Been thinking about you, too,” he echoes. Though, thinking positively isn’t what he’s been doing, as far as anybody’s concerned. Beat around the bush, he tells himself. He takes a steadying breath, posture straightening, demeanor changing. Says with a sour tone, “I, uh, I think we need to have a little talk in the car, if that’s okay? It’s not a breakup thing, but it might make you…somebody might get mad and I don’t want to cage you in at my house.”

“Oh,” Eddie breathes. His eyes go distant very briefly. When he refocuses on Steve, something has hardened in his features. Steve’s throat goes tight. “It can’t wait until after our date night?” There’s a low amount of ire in his words already and Steve is momentarily caught in it. Until he lets his eyebrows scrunch down his face again, giving in to that tightness in his throat.

He sighs, annoyed already. “No, Eddie,” he bites without meaning to. “I need to talk to you now. I’m already upset about it and it’s not going to do me any good to just brush it off.” His hand releases from Eddie’s grip, falling heavy against his side. He turns towards his driver’s side door and stares back at where Eddie is rooted. “Come on,” he states lowly, “you were the one to tell me to talk about the shit that’s bothering me. Can’t ignore it just because it has to do with you.”

Bitchy is probably not the best approach to all of this, but Steve is already cornered out of options. He pulls his door open with more force than necessary. Slides into his seat, key into the ignition, and honks once at Eddie. Jarringly gestures at the passenger seat. Thankfully, there’s nobody else to witness the potential torrential fire that’s brewing in him. It’ll be just the two of them; though that realization stirs something sickly in Steve’s stomach.

Eddie gets in silently. Places his school bag in the footwell. And keeps his face pointed out the windshield. “What’s wrong?” He asks, though his voice is devoid and edging on irritated.

Steve rolls his eyes, though Eddie can’t see him. He sets his hands firmly on his steering wheel. Squeezes the leather for comfort, an instinct. And heaves a sigh, urging himself to be calmer about this. “I had a talk with Lucas,” he starts. “About, uh, about his championship game back in March.”

Next to him, Eddie immediately tenses.

He continues without acknowledgement. Keeps himself as leveled as possible. “He told me that you refused to move your game for his. That he was looking forward to having his friends, which I’m assuming includes you, watch him play. And I—I know how important that championship game was to him. Y’know, it’s one of the bigger—“

“Are you mad because I didn’t want to sit at some jock event?” Eddie interrupts, question clipped. Though there’s also mild amusement in his tone, as if Steve being upset is poposterous. He continues without any regard for Steve. “In a room full of, mind you, people who hate me?”

Steve tenses more than Eddie had. His shoulders hiking and his stomach knotting impossibly more. Finally lets the dog bark, gives in to whatever it wants. “You know what, Eddie?” He bitches back. “I am mad at you. In fact, I…I…I’m so fucking angry that you…you make this whole deal about ‘lost sheep’ and herding them in to play your game. You concern yourself with making a community for people who are lost to the crowd of cliques in that school. And it’s just—Lucas is one of those kids! He is, even if that means he wants to play basketball!”

The passenger seat squeaks. Clothes rustling as Eddie turns toward him. But Steve doesn’t rip his eyes from the windshield. If anything, he leans more towards the left, creating a deeper, larger space between them. His hands instinctively tighten on the steering wheel again.

“Yeah, I do pride myself on that,” Eddie spits. “I do. Which is why, honestly, it irks me that Lucas would pick a crowd full of assholes. A bunch of people who would never give him the time of day.”

Steve goes rigid at that. He was an asshole, too. He knows that. Eddie especially knows that. The Munson Doctrine wouldn’t exist without the inclusion of asshole jocks, Steve being near the top of the list. He tries to tell himself that Eddie doesn’t think of him that way, but it’s hard considering himself. Who he used to be. Instead, he takes another breath, this one longer and hopefully more steadying than the other ones have been.

“He went out for basketball for a sense of security,” Steve states slowly, verging on impatient. “To find somewhere to belong to. That’s all a freshman looks for—a group to be somebody with. And, you know, considering that he’s already sort of singled out for being one of a few black kids at the school…Belonging is kind of important to him.” He settles back into his seat, arms still stretched to their full length in front of him. His stomach is turning and his heart is racing. And why won’t Eddie just get this? “Even if the basketball team has a bunch of assholes, he still wanted to do it. He was celebrated for his skills, who he is—even if it was for a moment. Playing was, and probably still is, important to him. And you—“ Steve finally turns his head towards Eddie. Knows his eyes are shooting daggers, can see where they lodge themselves between Eddie’s ribs. He raises a finger and accuses, “—you made his game feel unimportant. None of his best friends came because they were toopreoccupied with your game.” His face grows unusually hot as his voice drags passionately. The words just tumbling, splattering between them. But he carries on like a fire fed, “They even got his little sister to play yourgame. And, you know what really hurt to hear? Lucas wanted at least Erica to watch. And she wasn’t there. She wasn’t there because of your game, Eddie. How do you think that looks to him?”

Eddie has the audacity to look cowed, appalled. His mouth agape and his eyes as two large craters on his face. And for the first time, probably ever, he is stunned into silence.

Steve looks away. Bitter. All that festers in him now is hurt, ache, sadness. He chews on his lip, inhales softly through his nose, and opens his mouth with a silent word. Finally, he murmurs, “When I came to the high school as a freshman, I did the exact same thing as Lucas did. I joined the basketball team. Not because I was good. Or because my dad forced me to, like everybody seems to think. It’s because I wanted to fit in.”

His eyes are stinging. Cheeks flushing even more with overwhelming, consuming emotion. Continues, “And, though I let the feeling eat away at me, it felt good to be protected by a camaraderie like that. Outside of the nerdy friend group I had in middle school, going into high school. It felt good. And—It’s not the same as why Lucas joined, I know that, but I can understand.

“On top of that, I never had friends or family members show up for me at my games. So, for me to know the hurt Lucas feels, that would be an understatement. What’s important to note, though, is that he had people in his life to be there for him and they didn’t show. They didn’t.”

The fight is draining out of him, but he has to solidify his point. Has to finish this or else. Thinks briefly that maybe he should quit while he’s ahead, but he can’t make himself do that. The ferocity engulfing him from the inside out all too much to ignore. He’s been beaten down before for Lucas, literally—oh so literally—but he’d do it again and again and again for that kid to find his footing. Including this…spat? One sided argument? This argument with his boyfriend. 

“Even I was there,” he says, hollowly, “cheering him on. It just would’ve been nice, for him, to have more than just some washed up, ex-jock, nobody be there. Right? I’m sure you get where I’m coming from. You can understand what I’m saying.” He glances forlorn out his window. Can’t even muster the courage to look over at Eddie. He’s basically drained himself. Being vulnerable isn’t his forte, but he can be for the people around him. Even if it’s at the expense of his own well being. “Well, I thought you’d understand. Wanting to have a community, people to lean on, to make something of yourself. No matter the means. I just didn’t think you’d be part of the reason that Lucas feels so…so singular.”

He takes a deep breath, ignoring how nasally it is to his ears. And mutters, a final thing, “I didn’t think you viewed something that Lucas and I are into as so…nothing. I try my best to be better about what you like, but it seems that you don’t make that same effort. That’s not fair, Eddie. You should know that.”

Without much else to say and with Eddie’s eerie silence, he starts the car. Puts it into drive. And peels away into the silence of the long and stretching road.

Briefly, he thinks about turning on the radio or cranking down the window, but the air is too thick to move through. Even the slight turns of his steering wheel is enough to make him feel sick. He’s sick with how disgustingly to-the-point he had to be. Though, there’s no other way that Eddie would’ve listened. Not with how defensive he immediately got.

The original date night plan had been to go to his house, but he finds himself pulling into Forest Hills’ driveway. Past the dimly lit trailers and the striking quietness of Max’s home. He parks in the vacant spot next to Eddie’s van. Which, the van is broken down right now—the main reason Steve is even driving Eddie around. But, now what? Is Eddie mad at how mad Steve was? Is he going to realize that he doesn’t like Steve because of his interests, who he is? Is this it?

A gentle anxious thrum runs through Steve like the very blood he needs to exist.

He silences the car. And just sits with his hands in his lap. Looking blankly at Eddie’s front door.

“Your stop,” Steve murmurs.

Eddie takes a deep breath and sighs heavily through his nose. But he doesn’t make a move to open his door. To step out. To walk away from…all that Steve is and has been.

Steve turns to him, gestures loosely at the Munson’s. “Your stop,” he reiterates.

“I—“ Eddie musters, voice croaking and rough. “I didn’t realize that…I didn’t know Lucas was mad about that. I didn’t think it…mattered.”

“Of course you didn’t,” Steve bitterly states, “It’s not like you actually cared.”

“But I do,” Eddie insists, “I care so much about Lucas. And I care so much about you. I swear!” He finally moves, tossing himself in the seat to face Steve, flailing. His face a mournful thing, downturned and sad. Skin pale and his hands desperate and his voice urgent. “There’s no excuse, I know. But I just…The reason I look at jocks so awfully is because they’ve always turned on me, you know? They always downplay my interests and mock me and tease me for what I like. Which is why I have to show myself as the bigger guy, that I can take it. I just didn’t realize that I was doing it, too.”

Slowly, Steve crosses his arms over his chest. Fingers tightening over his biceps. “Real life and your friends are more important than biases, Eddie.”

“I see that now.”

“And I think that you…you love me? And that you like Lucas. But it’s just hard to feel that, for either of us, when you adamantly refuse to involve yourself in our interests. Even if it means attending some jock event. Even if it means sitting in a room full of people that hate you. Which, by the way, that isn’t true because Lucas and I both like you—I love you, even.” He faces Eddie again. His face a sure thing of great ache, based on Eddie’s own crestfallen eyes. “Maybe just…give us space for a couple days? Think about this. Apologize once you’ve given it some thought. I understand where the whole hating jocks thing comes from, but just think about how that hurts, too.”

Eddie takes a gasping breath. “But I’m sorry now, Stevie,” he swears, “I am. I’m so sorry.”

There’s part of those words that soothe Steve like aloe to a sunburn, but he can’t accept them. Knows that the sure sting of the burn will still be there if he lets Eddie do this now. So he collects himself, mulls the words, and defends himself—for once. “I’ll accept that when it doesn’t feel like you’re saying it just to make me feel better. I want you to mean it. And I want you to apologize to Lucas first.”

He watches Eddie nod fervently, sharply. His hands twisting together in his lap and his eyes wetting, shoved harshly to the side. “Yeah, okay,” his voice trembles, “okay, I’ll fix this.”

Carefully, Steve takes Eddie’s hands. Tugs them until Eddie looks at him. Involuntarily, he makes a soft, sympathetic noise. It’s clear in the wetness of Eddie’s eyes that he’s determined to change this, to make this better. It’s clear that he didn’t mean to hurt this severely. He presses deep into the back of Eddie’s hands, tethering himself down to the earth, away from the cloud of anger that threatens to swallow him whole. 

“Hey,” he murmurs, “listen to me, baby. I know that you’re sorry. I know, okay? But Lucas won’t know that, he’ll probably think you’re saying it to get on his good side. And…maybe you are, a bit, but it’ll be better if you really mean it. Trust me.” He swipes his thumbs over Eddie’s knuckles, massages them to ease the tension. “I still love you. I’m still learning, too, to love your interests with my full heart. And I know that it’s hard to let go of stupid biases, but you’ll be better for it. You will, Eds, and you’ll find you actually feel good.” Steve runs his hands up Eddie’s arms, to his shoulders, the sides of his neck.

Gently, he cups Eddie’s face between his hands. Presses his thumbs underneath Eddie’s eyes.

Eddie softens, loosening. Breathes slowly onto Steve’s wrists. “I’ll make this right, Steve,” he promises quietly, “I want to love both of you guys right.”

“I believe you,” he whispers in turn, “you’re a good guy, Eddie. You’ve got a good soul and a good heart. But you just need to relearn some things, baby.” He leans in, softly pecks the soft tissue of Eddie’s facial scar, and pulls away. Reaches up and runs a hand through the wiry ends of Eddie’s curls. Finds that he does mean the softness in his words, even with the bitter edge in his chest. He murmurs, “Let’s cool off tonight, because I know we’re both upset. And we’ll reconvene in a couple days, after my shift. I’ll help you come up with a good apology, promise.”

“Okay,” Eddie mutters, sniffling.

“I love you,” he feels the need to remind.

“I love you, too, Stevie. And I mean that. I really do.”

🏀—————🏀

Taglist (Open For Chapter Two): @wonderland-girl143-blog @tinyplanet95 @sharingisntkaren @ghostquer @practicallybegging @croatoan-like-its-hot @reinedslys-central

#stranger things #Steve Harrington & Lucas Sinclair #steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #lucas sinclair #angst and hurt/comfort #Eddie Munson & Lucas Sinclair

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Yearling - Ch. 35: Answers

You leave Jackson to find your daughters. A continuation of Yearling ch. 1-34 found on Tumblr here.

Pairing: Joel Miller x Female Reader

Warnings: Canon-typical violence. No use of Y/N. Minors DNI 18+ Only 

Length: 5.4k

A/N: We are into the final arc of Yearling and we are going to see some TLOU 2 OVERLAP again. There isn't any this chapter but there will be in this arc and here's how: a character from that game will be mentioned as will the spoiler-y incident from a few chapters ago. What happens plot wise in this arc is completely separate from the game and entirely original content BUT there is that character overlap and more specific mentions of the incident and the motives behind it. If you're trying to go in blind to season 2, it might be wise to step back. Feel free to send me a DM, I'm happy to answer any and all questions!

AO3 | Chapter One | Previous Chapter

It was hard not to panic when the world was ending. 

You’d lived through it enough by now, you thought you’d get used to it. 

You never did. 

“Who has them, Kyle?” You asked, holding the boy’s shoulders, searching his eyes. He was still panting for breath, still looking terrified. “I need you to focus, who has them.” 

“That man, the one who was here a few months ago but left,” he said. “I can’t… He gave me so much to remember and I can’t…” 

“Cody?” You asked quickly, even though you knew you were right, your chest tight. “Does that sound right?” 

“Yeah,” he nodded quickly. “Yes, Cody, it was Cody, he has them. He sent me here, to find you. He told me to bring you and just you back, said if we came with anyone else he’d kill them. I’m so sorry, Mrs. Miller, I was just trying to help, I swear…” 

Your head spun but you didn’t have time to try to calm yourself down or even come up with a fucking plan. 

“Did he say why?” You asked, leaving the teenager hovering in your doorway as you went to your kitchen. You found a notebook and ripped a piece of paper out of it, the pen hovering over it for a moment. Like once you wrote what was going to happen there was no turning back. 

“He said you owed him,” he said. “And he that he would collect with them if it wasn’t with you. He said you’d know what that meant.” 

You held the pen a little tighter. You did know what he meant and you knew the kind of man Cody was, what he would take if you let him. 

You couldn’t let him. 

“Kyle, go in the closet by the front door,” you said, wondering how your voice wasn’t shaking. “There’s my patrol pack in there, it has my flashlight, my axe and my knife. Get them.” 

It wasn’t going to be enough but you didn’t have guns in the house and getting one would require talking to someone else, something you couldn’t risk, not when it was Savvy and Ellie on the line. You’d have to make do.

You tried to think of what to say to Joel, the man you loved more than you ever thought it was possible to love someone like that. How did you say goodbye to someone who meant that much to you when you didn’t want to leave? 

You did the best you could, signing your name - your real one - for the first time since you’d married Joel. 

“Found them,” Kyle said as you folded the paper in half and wrote Joel’s name on one side of it, leaving the note leaning against the flowers that he had picked for you before leaving town. You looked around the kitchen, at the spot on the counter where you perched as your husband cooked for you and the table where you sat with him and took a deep breath, hoping you’d see it all again. 

“You know where to go, right?” You asked. 

“Yeah,” he nodded. “I memorized it.” 

“OK,” you said, clipping your knife to your belt, thankful that you’d just fallen asleep fully clothed so you didn’t have to stop to get dressed. You were in one of Joel’s shirts. You always were, when he was outside Jackson, when he promised to come home to you. “Lead the way.” 

You followed Kyle through the dark, quiet town. Even the Tipsy Bison was silent and you realized you weren’t sure what time it was but it had to be late, at least 3 a.m. 

“We’ll have to sneak out,” Kyle said, his voice low. “It’s what we did when…” 

You couldn’t think about it. 

“Show me.” 

There was an area of the fence, covered by a woodpile and not far from the schoolhouse, that easily pried apart, leaving enough room for a person to slip outside. 

Kyle climbed through first and held it for you to follow before the two of you scrambled for the nearest tree line, hoping that you made it out of town unnoticed. 

“How far?” You asked, looking back over your shoulder, your heart pounding. 

“Three hours, I think,” he said. “I’m so sorry Mrs. Miller…” 

“Tell me all of it,” you said, ignoring his apology. It didn’t matter now. “I need to know what we’re walking into.” 

It made so much sense when he laid it out for you. 

Savvy and Ellie had snuck out of Jackson the first night Joel was gone, the friends they were hanging out with apparently slipping out regularly. They stashed some pot outside the walls and liked to go sit and smoke when they thought they wouldn’t get into trouble, where they felt like they had some freedom. It was so typical of teenagers, it was almost funny. That even in the apocalypse, in a place like Jackson, the children found ways to rebel. Kyle and Savvy had wandered off from the group. They didn’t go far, just far enough that they felt like they had some privacy. Kyle wanted to ask her to the dance that was happening in a few weeks. 

That’s where they ran into Cody. 

He’d been nice, at first. Asking after Jackson, how things had been there. How he was thinking about trying to come back. He asked for information, enough that Savvy was starting to feel skeptical. 

And then Ellie found them. 

Ellie was worried, thinking that Savvy had been off on her own with a boy a little too long, and set off to find them. But she’d snapped when she saw Cody. She was a smart girl, she didn’t leave Jackson unarmed and she put her knife to Cody’s throat. 

He’d just smiled, something in his eyes that made Kyle uneasy, more uneasy than Ellie’s knife did. 

“Should fucking kill you right now,” Ellie had said, getting in his face. “Joel never should have let you live, I don’t give a fuck what she says…” 

“Ellie!” Savvy tried to go for her but Kyle stopped her, catching her around her waist and holding her back. “You can’t just kill him, he hasn’t done anything!” 

“Should listen to your sister, little girl,” Cody smirked. “I don’t come back, there’s a whole new set of problems for that perfect little town of yours.” 

“Fuck you,” Ellie spat. 

“You that serious?” He asked. “Come and get me. Tomorrow night. Bring your mom.” He’d looked at Savvy in a way that made Kyle feel sick. “And get your sister on board. Something tells me she might not know the real reason I left Jackson.” 

Cody walked away then, Ellie’s grip still tight on the knife for a minute before she put an arm around Savvy and stalked back off toward town. Kyle couldn’t hear what they were saying. 

When they made it back as dawn was on the horizon, he still wasn’t sure what set Ellie off. He wasn’t sure when Ellie and Savvy came to him the next afternoon, either, to ask him to go with them to find Cody that night. 

“I want to have the upper hand,” Ellie had said. “And you already know about him.” 

Savvy looked different then, something set and angry on her face. Kyle tried to ask her what was wrong but she wouldn’t tell him. He just went along with their plan, Ellie and Savvy out for Cody’s blood and Kyle wanting to keep the girl he was starting to fall for safe. 

But they made a mistake. 

They were outnumbered from the start, Cody bringing a dozen men to capture them. Ellie killed one as Kyle tried to run with Savvy but they failed. 

“Thought I told you to bring your mom,” Cody had said. “But that’s OK. Sure we can work something out.” 

He hauled the three of them away, walking a few hours into the forest, before sending Kyle back to Jackson to get you.

It explained so much of what had happened over the last day. The cagey way Ellie and Savvy were talking in the mess hall, the way Savvy had hugged you - Ellie had to have told her something - like she hadn’t in months, the odd way they were acting when you checked on them that night. 

“How many men were there?” You asked. 

“A lot,” Kyle said. “I don’t know for sure. At least 12 to grab us, we met up with probably another dozen or so after that…” 

“Right,” you said, your heart clenching. You weren’t making it out of this. You tried to resign yourself to that, that the best you could hope for right now was getting the kids out in one piece. “Did he say what he wanted?” 

“Besides you?” Kyle asked. “No. I’m sorry, Mrs. Miller…” 

“It’s OK,” you said, trying to keep him calm. “You did your best, you stayed alive, that’s the important thing.” 

The two of you walked in silence for a while, your heart pounding the whole time. You focused on getting to the girls. That’s all that mattered. You tried not to think about what was waiting for you on the other side of it. 

“When we find them, let me do the talking,” you said as the sunrise tinted the horizon red. “And stay behind me. If you see a chance to get Savvy or Ellie away, do it. Otherwise, do what I tell you.” 

“Yes ma’am,” he said, a tremble in his voice. “I’m really sorry, Mrs. Miller, I didn’t mean…” 

“I know,” you said quietly. “Just get them home.” 

You caught a glimpse of someone moving in the woods then, just on the edge of your vision, your head whipping around to track the motion on instinct. It was baked into you still, moving through the forest alone, being on guard, knowing when you were being watched. You’d survived most of your life that way and years in Jackson hadn’t pulled it out of you. The second you realized it was a man and not an animal, you adjusted your grip on your axe with one hand and reached behind you with the other, shifting your body so you were between Kyle and the man. 

It took you half a second to place his familiar face, one of Mitchum’s henchmen who was low enough that he wasn’t allowed to touch you, a slow smirk spreading over his face. 

“Well ain’t you a sight for sore eyes,” he emerged from a fern and gave a long, low whistle. “Mitchum’s been lookin’ for you.” 

“Bet he’s been lookin’ for you, too,” your hold on the axe tightened. You wanted to kill him but you couldn’t, not when you didn’t know where Ellie and Savvy were. “Unless you’re still his little bitch. But I don’t think he took too kindly to you taking off on him to serve some other asshole.” 

“You always did have a mouth on you,” he said, trees and brush at your back starting to rustle. “But look where that got you.” 

“And you were up his ass for how long?” You asked. “Where’d that get you, exactly?” 

His eyes narrowed and you tracked where you were hearing movement around you, the sound drawing closer. Kyle’s shaky hand grabbed at your bicep. 

“Don’t think the boss would be too happy with you picking a fight with our biggest commodity,” a man said from behind you. Kyle gasped and you felt him jump but you kept your  eyes on the first man. “You know what he wants with her.” 

“And what’s that, exactly?” You called over your shoulder, still tracking where Kyle was with your unoccupied hand. 

“Leverage, of course,” the man came around to the front of you, smirking just like his friend. You didn’t recognize him. “Mitchum has the biggest operation around these parts and you, it seems, are the only thing he wants that he doesn’t have. Give him you on a silver platter? We get first pick of new territory.” 

He looked you up and down in a way that reminded you of inspecting livestock. Your stomach turned.

“Don’t really see what all the fuss is about but,” he shrugged. “Don’t really give a shit.” 

“You got my girls?” You asked, cutting to the chase. 

His smile grew. 

“So the boss was right,” he shook his head a little. “You women, so predictable…” 

“If they’re not in one piece, I got no reason to leave you two idiots alive,” you snapped, losing your patience. You needed to see your daughters and you needed to see them now. “So if you don’t want my axe in your goddamn chest, you’re gonna take me to them right fucking now.” 

He licked his lips. 

“Might get the fuss a little more now,” he said, stepping close to you. He knew he had you, knew that you wouldn’t do anything that would risk Savvy or Ellie. “Gonna need that axe and knife and anything else you got on you or the boy. Then we’ll see if we can’t find your girls.” 

You narrowed your eyes but surrendered your weapons anyway. 

“Mrs. Miller…” Kyle whispered but you shushed him. 

“I’ll keep you safe,” you glanced behind you toward him. “Stay calm and do what they tell you.” 

You turned your attention back to the men in front of you, more emerging from the trees now. 

“If you’ve hurt either of them, you have no idea the shit storm you just brought down on your heads.” 

“Not much of a threat without your little toys,” he looked them over. “Something tells me we can take you just fine unarmed.” 

“Cody tell you what I did to the men who tried to catch me last time I got out?” You asked, brows raised. For half a moment, there was a flash of concern on the first man’s face. You nodded to him. “He knows. Take me to my girls before you find out first hand.” 

The second man quirked his jaw before jerking his head in the direction you’d been walking. 

“Keep up.” 

You only needed to follow them another 15 minutes or so, your heart pounding the whole time. Eventually, you came upon a clearing, a fire dying at the center of it with Cody standing right behind it, watching you approach with a satisfied smirk on his face. 

“Hey there baby doll,” he said, prowling around the fire to meet you. “You don’t look too happy to see me.” 

“Where are my daughters.” 

He ignored you, like you hadn’t spoken at all. 

“You’d think that, after last time, you’d learn…” 

“Where are my daughters.” 

“…that you should at least pretend to be grateful when you see me…” 

Your patience was gone. If he didn’t have Ellie and Savvy, there was no point to this. No point to his game, no point to trying to make it out alive. You needed to see them and you needed to see them now. 

The man at your left had a handgun in a holster on his right, one he wasn’t paying close attention to, his hands on his rifle that was strapped across his body. You, on the other hand, had paid attention. 

You went for the gun, moving fast enough that he didn’t know what was happening until he felt the tug of you pulling the weapon from his side, turning to face you with a frown on his face after you freed the revolver, pulling the hammer back as you raised it and pulled the trigger. He dropped, Kyle screaming in shock at your back, and you turned the gun on Cody, pulling the hammer back again. 

“WHERE ARE MY FUCKING KIDS!” 

You could feel every gun and eye turn to you as you fought to control your breathing, the sound of birds taking flight the only sound beyond the echo of the gunshot and your scream. But you knew they wouldn’t shoot you, not when you were apparently so valuable to their boss and their boss was still breathing. And if they were smart, the wouldn’t hurt Savvy or Ellie, either.

“You know you wouldn’t make it out of here alive,” Cody said, stepping closer, until the barrel of the gun was in his chest. 

“You think that matters if they’re gone?” You asked, brows raised. “If you killed them, all that matters is that I kill as many of you as I can before you take me down and I’m a damn good shot. So. Give me my daughters or another one of these fuckers dies.” 

He gave you a cocky smirk and whistled. There was rustling somewhere you couldn’t see but, after a moment, three men brought out Savvy and Ellie, bound and gagged. You clenched your jaw but stayed still, eyes ranging over them as quickly as you could, looking for all signs of injury. They were still dressed, a good sign. Ellie had a cut at her forehead, Savvy had a bloody bandage at her arm. You clenched your fist on the revolver. 

“See?” Cody said. “All in one piece. Now, hand over the gun before we have to change that.” 

Ellie’s eyes went wide and she shook her head at you, frantic, but you ignored her.

“Untie them,” you said, gun still in his chest. 

“Gonna need a little more incentive than that,” he said. “I know how you are with people who do you favors…” 

“Untie them,” you said again, pulling your eyes away from the girls to meet his. “Let me talk to them, make sure they’re OK, then let them go with their friend. And I mean let them go, your men stay where I can fuckin’ see ‘em. You do that? I’ll do whatever you want.” 

“Whatever I want?” He asked, looking you up and down. 

Your stomach turned. 

“You heard me,” you spat. 

He mulled it over for a second before smiling, cocky. 

“Deal,” he said, jerking his head toward one of his men. They moved to untie Savvy and Ellie. “I’ll take that gun now.” 

You lowered the weapon and turned it around in your hand before holding it out to him, handle first. He took it. 

“Good as you are, don’t know if I ever thought your pussy was worth all the fuss Mitchum made over you,” he said, handing the gun to one of his henchmen. “But damn if it ain’t fun to watch you break.” 

“Mom!” Savvy was freed first, running for you and throwing her arms around your neck. You clutched onto her, clinging to her, breathing in the scent of her, floral with a hint of apple and hay and gunpowder. “I’m so sorry, Mom, I’m so sorry…” 

“It’s OK,” your voice was thick and you tried to focus on how she felt in your arms so you could hold onto that memory before stepping back from her. “Are you OK? They touch you?” 

“I’m fine,” she sniffed. “They got my arm a little but…” 

“They haven’t touched you since you’ve been here?” You asked, brows raised. “No one’s hurt you or…” 

“No,” she shook her head. “No, they tied us up but they haven’t done anything.” 

“Good,” you nodded, brushing her thick curls back from her forehead. “That’s good.” 

Ellie approached you cautiously, like she was waiting for you to yell at her but you didn’t. You didn’t even want to, there was no point to it. Instead, you pulled her into your arms and held her tight as she pressed her face into your shoulder. You tried to remember her, too, the daughter who came into your life so late and that you desperately wanted more time with. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, voice thick and wet. “I thought I could handle it, I thought…” 

“S’OK,” you said, stepping back from her and looking her over, too. Her lip was split and the blood at her forehead was dried, the cut there scabbing over. “Ellie, I need you to listen to me. You’re in charge, OK? You’re going to get Savvy and Kyle back to Jackson…” 

“But -”

“No,” you said, harsher than you really meant. “This ain’t a discussion, this is me telling you what you’re going to do, do you understand me.” 

“I can’t just leave you here!” Her eyes were wide and desperate and you forced yourself to be calm. 

“Yes, you can,” you said, taking her by the shoulders. “Ellie, the most important thing you can do right now is take care of your sister, do you understand me?” She nodded. “You get her and Kyle back to town. You’ve patrolled, you know how to do it safely. Get them there. That’s your job, they are your responsibility. Promise me you’ll get them home.” 

She looked like she wanted to argue but you held her tighter. 

“Ellie,” you said. “Promise me.” 

“But…” 

“Promise me!” You yelled it, loud enough that you saw Savvy flinch out of the corner of your eye. 

“I promise,” she said, crying now. 

It was like a weight lifted. You knew it was hours back to Jackson but, if Ellie actually kept her word, they’d make it. They would be safe. That was all that mattered. 

“Thank you,” you pulled her in for another hug, kissing her cheek as you did. “I love you so much. Take care of yourself and your dad for me, OK?” 

“I love you too,” she breathed. 

You gave her a final squeeze and went for Savvy who was fighting back tears. 

“Mom,” her voice was thick and wet. “I can’t…” 

“Yes, you can,” you said gently. “Go with Ellie, do what she tells you and you’ll get back safe. Listen to Joel, stick with school, find your place in Jackson. Have a good life, OK?” 

She shook her head. 

“I don’t want to do it without you,” she’d given up on not crying now. “I tried to before and I don’t want that, you need to be there, Mom, I need you, I…” 

“Savvy,” you said, holding her face in your hands, brushing her tear-streaked cheeks with your thumbs. “Everything I’ve done for as long as you’ve been mine has been for you but you don’t need me now. You’re all that matters. You get back safe, you have a good life with people you love. You do that and I’ll have done everything I needed to do. So give me that, OK?” 

You didn’t give her a chance to reply, just pulling her in close and holding her there, kissing her cheek as you did. 

“I love you so much, baby girl,” you whispered. 

“I love you, too,” she said. 

You stepped back and looked at them for a moment before casting a glance at Cody. 

“They need weapons.” 

“That wasn’t part of the deal.” 

You rounded on him. 

“Give them weapons,” you said through clenched teeth. “Or I’ll kill as many of your men as I can between here and Mitchum.” 

He smirked a little before jerking his head in the direction of one of his men. They surrendered knives you recognized - ones you were sure Ellie and Savvy had come here with - and your axe. 

“Better get going,” Cody said. “Before I change my mind.” 

You just nodded and watched them go, Ellie and Savvy looking back at you as long as they could, Ellie pulling Savvy along side her as they went. You kept looking at the place where they’d been long after you couldn’t see them anymore. 

“Alright Doll,” Cody said eventually, stepping forward with cuffs in his hands. “Wrists together. Not about to risk you changing your mind on that deal. You’re a little too valuable and it’s time for me to cash in.” 

***

“Joel.”

Tommy sounded desperate. Joel ignored him. 

“You can’t just take off…” 

Tommy’s hand came to Joel’s shoulder but he ripped it off, rounding on his brother, moving quickly and decisively and backing the younger, smaller man into a building. 

“You tryin’ to tell me I can’t protect my family?” Joel towered over him. “You gonna try and stop me?” 

“Can’t do shit for them if you run out there hot headed,” Tommy said, his eyes darting over Joel’s face, like he was watching a wild animal. “You can’t help them if you’re dead, you need to wait, you need a plan…” 

“I have a fuckin’ plan!” He didn’t have time for this. “Get my girls back. Don’t try to fuckin’ stop me.” 

“Joel,” Maria’s voice was behind him, calm and collected. He turned to face her, ready to go through her, too, if he had to. “We have everyone out looking for them, there are no fresh horses because we sent everyone we had as soon as we could. We’re looking for their trail but they could be anywhere. Wait until we have people back to go with you, wait until we know where they went. If you run off now, you’re only going to make it worse. You’ll waste time. Give it a few hours, Joel.” 

“A few hours?” He bit out. “You want me to sit here for a few fuckin’ hours while that monster has my wife and kids? Expect me to let him hurt them for hours while I fuckin’ wait?” 

Maria didn’t have a chance to respond, the sound of chaos at the gate sending the three of them running for it. 

Joel reached it just as three horses rode up. It took him a moment to realize they each carried more than one rider. His heart pounded. For one second - a glorious, peaceful second - he thought everything was going to be OK. That they’d found you and the girls before anything bad happened, that he was going to be able to hold the three of you close and never let you go again. 

And then he realized that you weren’t there. That you’d gotten the children you shared with him back but you hadn’t made it. 

“Joel!” Ellie jumped off her horse before it had fully stopped. “Joel, he has Bambi, we have to go get her, we have to.” 

She threw her arms around his neck and clung to him and he could feel her taking shaky breaths. 

“It’s OK Baby Girl,” he said, holding her close. “I’ve got you, you’re OK.” 

“We have to go get her,” Ellie said again, frantic as she pulled back from him. “We have to.” 

Joel, Tommy and Maria led the girls and a trembling Kyle to the clinic. Ellie and Savvy didn’t wait for the doctor to be done looking them over as they sat beside each other on the exam table, the story spilling out of them quickly. How they’d lied to you and snuck out of Jackson the first night he was gone. How they’d run into Cody in the woods. How Ellie threatened to kill him and Savvy didn’t understand why. How he told them to come back the next night with you. How Ellie had told Savvy everything she knew about what happened to you. How Savvy wanted to leave then and there to take care of it and Ellie had to make her wait, confident that they could handle him. How Ellie had killed men like him before, how she was sure she could do it again. How they got help from Kyle to be sure. How it had all gone to shit the second they were too far from Jackson to get help. How you’d come for them, how you’d sacrificed yourself to get the three of them out safely. 

How Joel knew that’s exactly what you would do. 

Because of course you would. It was exactly what he would have done. How would you have done anything else? 

“We need to get her back, Joel,” Savvy was crying, pleading. “We can’t leave her there with him, we can’t, please…” 

Joel looked between the two of them. He wanted to scream. He wanted to ask why. Why had they snuck out? Why had they tried to take matters into their own hands? Why had they put themselves in such danger? Didn’t they know, if they failed, you’d have no choice? That you would do anything for them? That he would, too? 

But yelling and questioning wouldn’t do any good. What was done was done. Taking his fear out on them would only make shit worse.

“I’m gonna get her back, Baby Girl,” Joel said. “I’m gonna bring her home.” 

He turned and gave Tommy a look, half begging for help, half daring him to stop him. Tommy just squared his jaw and gave him a single, firm nod. Joe returned it and the went to leave, but Ellie stopped them, catching them on the porch of the clinic. 

“I’m coming, too.” 

“No,” Joel shook his head. “No, you’re stayin’ here…” 

“No,” she said sharply, a fierce look in her eyes. “I’m going. I can help, I know…” 

“It don’t matter,” Joel cut her off. “Not putting you at risk…” 

“I don’t care about the risk!” She snapped. “You can’t just expect me to sit here on my ass while she’s out there…”

“You think she’d want you gettin’ hurt for her?” Joel grabbed Ellie by the shoulders and held her tighter than he should. “She took care of you by…” 

“By cleaning up a fucking mess I made!” She yelled before closing her eyes for a moment, a single tear slipping down her cheek. She took a deep, centering breath before opening her eyes again, voice calmer now. “I never had parents, Joel. I never had anyone who loved me like that until you and then she showed up and she didn’t have any fucking reason to care about me like that but she did. She’s my mom and I got her hurt because I tried to handle shit on my own. I’m not handling it on my own now, I’m handling it with you. I know what you’re capable of. I know what you’re going to do. I’m telling you that I don’t want to be here when you do it, I want to be with you. I want to get her back and I want to make him fucking pay and I can’t do that from Jackson. So are you going to let me come with you or are you going to make me sneak out and try to handle this shit on my own again?” 

Joel looked to his brother. He’d done shit like this more times than he cared to count but only twice with stakes as high as this. Every time, it was either alone or with Tommy at his side. He knew he wouldn’t be able to do what he normally did with Ellie there. He’d be worrying about her, watching for her, protecting her. 

But they were out numbered and Ellie was a strong rider who was smart and good with a gun. 

“She’s an adult, Joel,” Tommy said hesitantly. Joel could see in his eyes that he was thinking about William, if he would let his son do something so reckless if he had any say. “And she does a good job on patrol.” 

Joel took a deep breath. 

“You gotta listen,” he said. Ellie was already nodding quickly. “Do what I say so I can keep us all safe. I tell you to get back to Jackson, you do it. If you’re a liability out there, you’re makin’ things worse for her, not better. Got it?” 

“Yes.” 

“Repeat it.” 

“What you say goes,” she said, watching him closely. “I won’t fuck up, Dad. I promise.” 

In another time, another place, Joel’s heart would have soared in that moment. Just knowing that Ellie saw him the same way he saw her made him feel complete in a way he didn’t realize he was missing. 

But he wasn’t able to enjoy it. There was another vital piece of him that was gone, one he was going to get back if it was the last thing he ever did. 

“OK,” he said, looking at Ellie. “Let’s go get your mom.” 

A/N: Figured we'd kick off the more feral part of this fic with some Feral!Bambi. Don't worry, Feral!Joel fans, he's up next ❤️ As always, thank you so so much for reading and for sticking it out with this fic! I know it's been a long one. I'm glad you're still here. Love you!

Taglist: @ashleymsnodgrass@planet-marz1@kalea-bane @juneswonderlust @ilovepedro @h-annahayy @starstruckmusiciansartghost @beccerjune @mumma-moonchild @netonetoneto @mellymbee @purplelye @n7cje @flugazi @evyiione @randomhoex @aliengirl99 @orcasoul @reds-ramblings @pedropascalsbbg @fupoola @tinypotatothing @knopes-waffles @lilmizmoz @ayamenimthiriel @jenispunk @panda-pascal @sarap-77 @flugazi @your-slutty-gf @daniegraceg @partyofone3413 @cumberpegg @noisynightmarepoetry. @fifia-writes @grumpygrumperton @srmacaroni @txlady37 @bigboiseason123 @ashleyfilm @arizonadreamingg

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #yearling #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller x oc

[kinardbegins]

HIIII 😁

I'm leaving a lil idea in here: how about one or both of them being covered in soot (like tommy was) and them having a lil intimate moment helping the other or eachother clean up?

HI HI HI THANK YOU FOR THE REQUEST <333

this one got soooo away from me lol it was supposed to be like 200ish words but omg yeah it got a lil deep

wc: 1.2k

no warnings but tommy's pretty sad in this (and buck's there for him <3)

also on ao3!

sense of belonging

Tommy can’t help it, he has to see Buck. He feels lost, as if nothing is ever going to be okay again, and he needs someone he knows he can count on. Someone he can trust. Which is how he finds himself outside the 118, grimacing at his old firehouse. He can’t deny that he misses it, but he also can’t deny that he never did belong there.

Eddie spots him from inside and makes his way over with a raised eyebrow and a smirk. “Hey, man! What are you doing here?”

Tommy tries to smile but it falls short. “Just finished work. Needed to see if… if he’s okay.”

There’s a shift, then, and Eddie just knows. Knows that something must have happened. Something must have set him off. “Yeah. Yeah, man, he said something about getting a shower just a few minutes ago. Got a bit dirty on the last call, which… seems like you did too.”

Tommy shrugs. He knows he looks like hell. Dirt sticks to his eyebrows and dried blood lines the straight-edge of his jawline and god knows what else is there. He couldn’t look at himself in the mirror long enough to clear it off. Not after the shift he had. Not after the civilian he lost. 

Moving swiftly to the shower room, giving forced smiles to anyone who looks his way, he finds Buck stepping out the shower with a towel around his waist. If it were any other day, Tommy wouldn’t be able to look away from the water clinging to his toned muscles and the short hairs trailing below the towel. But now, in this moment, he can’t look away from his face, from the way his eyebrows are furrowed and his lips are slightly parted and his birthmark seems pinker than usual, almost crimson. And then he gets to watch how his face completely changes when he spots him. How he brightens immediately. As if just seeing him makes him the happiest man alive. 

It hits him square in the chest. He’s not sure how someone like Buck can look at someone like him and have that type of reaction. He’s not used to it. Sometimes he still wonders if this is the universe playing some sort of sick and twisted game with him and that one day he’ll wake up to find this all gone. Ripped away. Just like everything and everyone else he’s ever known.

But seeing that Buck is okay–seeing him there and happy and alive–brings up all these emotions Tommy can’t quite figure out right now. There’s relief, that’s for sure, and there’s happiness, but there’s also a stronger feeling than the usual flutter in his stomach and the tightness in his chest and that should scare him but it doesn’t. Buck opens his mouth to talk but all he gets out is a hmmph as Tommy takes two large steps toward him and they collide in a tight embrace. He doesn’t care that Buck is soaking wet from the shower and drenching his clothes, he just needs to feel close.

Buck seems to understand though because he says nothing. Instead, he pulls Tommy in closer and gently scratches at the short hairs at the base of his neck. It calms him down enough to pull back and look at Buck properly, taking him in and memorising that look on his face. Just in case.

“Hey,” he whispers, voice hoarse. 

Buck’s eyes soften. “Hey, yourself. Bad shift?”

“You have no idea.”

Buck cups his face and runs the pad of his thumb over his cheek. Tommy doesn’t remember a time he’s ever been touched so gently before. “I think I have some idea,” he says, sliding his hand down Tommy’s jaw and furrowing his eyebrows at the blood. “Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?”

“You should get dressed first,” Tommy mutters. He’s suddenly struck with the feeling that he’s being a burden. That he’s invading Buck’s space. His time. “Incase you need to run out.”

Buck seems like he’s about to protest when he realises that Tommy’s right. “I’ll be back in a second, I swear,” he sighs before ducking out of the room and leaving Tommy alone. It’s not until this moment he realises just how tired he really is. All he wants to do is go home and crawl into bed but he feels stuck. Like he can’t move. Risking a glance at the mirror, he’s grateful to find that he can’t see himself through the steam. He’s not quite ready to face himself yet.

But before he can dwell on it, or think about how it felt to watch someone die right in front of him (not for the first time, but certainly not for the last time either, and that makes his stomach twist uncomfortably), Buck is running back into the room and taking Tommy’s face in his hands. He tilts his head to one side and then the other before tutting and reaching out to turn on the tap, keeping one hand on Tommy at all times. Once he’s satisfied with the temperature of the water, he runs a cloth underneath it and rings it out before slowly reaching up to dab it over Tommy’s jawline. 

“Is this your blood?”

Tommy shrugs. “I’m not sure. I don’t think so.”

Buck pauses for a moment before moving to wipe at the dirt coating his eyebrow. “Do you wanna talk about what happened?”

Tommy shakes his head.

“Okay,” Buck says after a while, scrubbing away the last of the dirt. His touch is so gentle and so caring that Tommy fears he might cry. “Do you want to come eat with us? Bobby’s making his famous lasagne.” He pulls away the cloth and drops it in the sink, running some water over it for a moment before switching off the tap and putting all his attention back on Tommy. Both of his hands drop to Tommy’s shoulders and he smooths his palms across the broad expanse, offering a sweet smile. “You’ll love it.”

“I don’t know,” Tommy sighs, shaking his head. “I don’t want to intrude.”

“You wouldn’t be, I promise. Bobby will love to have you; we all will.”

And that’s how Tommy finds himself sitting where he used to sit all those years ago, only this time he knows that he doesn’t have to hide who he is. So when Chimney brings up something Tommy did once on a call so long ago it feels like a past life, something shifts inside of him, and when Bobby claps him over the shoulder with a proud smile, that something becomes a little lighter. Hen smiles at him and Eddie bumps his arm against his and Ravi listens intently as he retells the story from his point of view. And when Buck laughs at a joke he makes, his head tilting back to let out the loveliest sound Tommy’s ever heard, and then he looks at him to see if he’s laughing too, Tommy can’t help the genuine smile that graces his face. And he realises he feels like he finally belongs. And that maybe, just maybe, things will be okay after all.

#YAY I FINALLY WROTE FOR THEM #im lowkey kinda proud of this #i feel like tommy is so confident on the surface and in general but he just doesn't feel like he belongs anywhere #this is as new for him than it is for buck #bucktommy #evan buckley #tommy kinard #kinkley #tevan

[jessicaloons]

Chapter 42:

Put it on the one people put wedding rings on…

Masterlist - Previous - Next

TW: slightly spicy content;

Charles POV:

"It’s not funny…" Lizzie threw a pillow at Pierre, while pacing back and forth "This is not how I pictured our wedding!"

"Yeah? How did you picture it?" Pierre laughed, wiping away his tears.

"Well, first off, I didn’t want to wake up from my wedding night with you sleeping on the floor and also it would be quite nice to remember the wedding at all!" Lizzie was stressed and pale, her anxiety through the roof "We don’t even have time to figure out what to do! We have to leave for the airport in… well 15 minutes ago." she hid her face in her hands before she pulled them away, looking at the ring, tears gathering in her eyes.

"Pierre? Can you…" I began but he already walked to the door "Thanks." he just nodded and I hugged Lizzie, pulled her in a tight embrace "Cara mia, it’s going to be okay."

"How? We’re married! And we can’t even remember it! And we were probably alone! Only Pierre was with us… Dad already couldn’t really walk Sissy down the aisle! And now me as well! Even worse! He wasn’t even there! Our mums weren’t there! Liam! Benji! Our siblings! Our friends! No one! This is not how I wanted to marry you!" Lizzie cried, her whole body shaking violently with each sob.

"Cara mia, believe me when I say that this is not how I wanted to marry you either! I didn’t even get the chance to propose to you!" I hugged her, tried to sooth her but she was still shaking violently in my hold. I pulled away a little, cupping her cheeks. But before I could say something, Lizzie flinched when it knocked on the door, her eyes wide.

"It’s okay, it’s just the door!" I cooed and she nodded as I went to open the door.

"Wait! The ring!" she said right at the moment when I opened the door, Pops looking at us, a little scowl on his face.

"If that’s not Mr. and Mrs. …" he began and Lizzie stormed over.

"I’m so sorry, Dad! I swear we didn’t plan it! It just happened!" she pleaded.

" 'We are always late'…" Juergen finished and then looked between me and Lizzie.

"What?" Lizzie asked.

"What yourself?" he replied, cocking an eyebrow "You didn’t plan what? What just happened?"

"No-nothing…" Lizzie stammered and looked down.

"Yeah, sure… whats going on?" Pops looked at me and I sighed.

"We don’t know. We might or might not got mar-…" I began, when Pierre bursted through the door.

"Dude, we’re screwed!" he said and I looked at him "We’re so freaking screwed!"

"Okay, can someone tell me what’s going on?" Juergen looked between us, Lizzie and I held up our left hands, showing him the rings. I couldn’t read him, he was quiet, his face void of any emotion, Lizzie next to me began to tremble, a silent tear running down her cheek, right when Juergen burst out laughing. His loud, heartfelt laugh boomed through the room and he had to wipe away the tears, holding his stomach, still laughing.

"That’s not funny!" Lizzie glared at him but that didn’t stop him from laughing.

"Oh god what a cliché! Getting drunk, getting married and then don’t remember it the next day. Vegas, baby!" Juergen pressed out between laughter and I had to laugh as well, but stopped immediately when Lizzie looked at me.

"Sorry." I said hastily and she groaned.

"This is not what I wanted. I wanted us to have a beautiful wedding and not this…" she sighed and Pierre cleared his throat.

"You can still have that…" he began but Lizzie scoffed.

"No! Because I don’t want it to be just the second ceremony because the first one no one remembers!"

"Don’t worry, it will be the first one… at least for you…" Pierre looked at me and I was confused.

"What do you mean, at least for her?" I asked, almost scared for his answer, when he threw his phone and I caught it.

"Look at the pictures…"

I opened the gallery and the first picture was Lizzie, Kika, Pierre and I with a whole wedding party in what looked like a chapel, with Elvis in the middle. I swiped to the next picture, Kika and Lizzie, both kissing Elvis cheek’s. And then the third picture. Pierre and I. At the altar. Holding hands. Elvis in front of us, reading something out of his book.

"What the actual fuck?" I swiped to the next picture and almost dropped the phone "YOU KISSED ME?"

"NO! YOU KISSED ME!" Pierre exclaimed and Lizzies eyes widened.

"What?" she stood up and grabbed the phone, looking at the pictures, Juergen looking over her shoulder. I didn’t know that it was possible, but Lizzie paled even more.

"You married Pierre?" she whispered.

"Well, I guess congratulations are in order, for our lovely newlyweds!" Juergen began to laugh again, this time I glared at him, but he just took the phone out of Lizzie’s hand looking at the pictures again.

"You married Pierre?" she repeated and I cupped her cheeks.

"Cara mia, please believe me that I have no idea how that happened! Please don’t hate me. I love you, cara mia. You know that!" I said and looked at her.

"You married Pierre." she breathed out and I groaned.

"Yes! God damn! I married Pierre! Can you please say something else?"

"Umm-… congrats?" she said and I looked at her puzzled, before she started to laugh.

"That’s not funny!"

"You just laughed when Pops had his little laugh flash! Then it was funny apparently!" she shrugged her shoulders.

"Yeah but then it was me and you who were married! Which would be okay, because guess what, that was something that was going to happen anyways!"

"No, no, Charlie. We weren’t married… we just thought it. That’s a difference." she chuckled and in this moment, I realized once again how much like her father she was, both now laughing, looking at the pictures "But wait? Why do you and I wear wedding rings? Why don’t you wear it?" I looked at Pierre and he shrugged, taking my hand.

"Because that ring wouldn’t fit on any of my fingers… maybe my pinky, but not even for sure." he said and I looked at his hand and then the petite ring on my finger.

"So you gave it to me?"

"Maybe? Probably? I don’t know?"

"Does that really matter now? No! No it doesn’t! Can we please focus on the main problem and figure out how we get out of this mess, before…" I began.

"Before the media finds out?" Kika appeared in the door, looking fresh and well rested compared to us “I guess that’s too late.”

"What do you mean?" Pierre asked and she showed him her phone "'POV: Your Vegas wedding gets crashed by 3 Formula 1 drivers and a model' oh god… so we crashed a wedding and then what? Decided to get married as well? And why did we get married? We were both there with our girlfriends! Why didn’t we marry them?" Pierre looked just as frustrated as me and Kika patted his arm.

"Because I left after the ceremony of the couple whose wedding we crashed. I told you that I had an important videocall this morning… what happened after I left was out of my control." Kika looked at me, a slight grin on her lips.

"What happened was that I married freaking Charles Leclerc!" Pierre groaned.

"Hey! Im not happy either, being married to Pierre Gasly is nothing I would ever wanted."

"Are there more videos?" Lizzie asked and watched the clip.

"No, they just posted this clip. We basically just attended their wedding. Some pictures with them but that’s it. I couldn’t find anything that implied you guys getting hitched." Kika answered and Lizzie nodded.

"Then I guess it’s not that bad, no?" she said and I looked at her.

"Not that bad? Lizzie I’m married to Pierre! To Pierre! Not to you! That is freaking bad!" I couldn’t believe her words.

"Yeah and we’ll find a way to solve that problem? Annulate the marriage? I don’t know. We should go to the chapel first because I didn’t see a wedding certificate or anything, so it must be there! And then we can ask them what to do in a situation like this!" Lizzie got up "Pops, I guess we need a later flight, can you call Julie and take care of that?"

"On it. And boys? Heads up, you looked beautiful and oh so happy!" Pops chuckled while leaving the room.

"Very funny." Pierre murmured and Lizzie and Kika laughed.

"Come on now boys, let’s get you guys divorced." Lizzie said, grabbing her phone.

"I can’t wait…" I mumbled, Pierre nodding in agreement.

"Last race of the season, Charles, what are your thoughts on this season?" Tom Clarkson asked.

"It’s been a tough season, starting out the worst way possible. When it finally got better, I was making too many mistakes myself. But we managed to turn the season around, won a race, fought for podiums and yeah, now I just want to finish the season on a high." I replied.

"You almost had a second win last weekend in Las Vegas. How did you like racing in Vegas?"

"The track itself was fun. The race was good, I had some good moments here and there. The safety car ruined my chance of winning unfortunately, but it’s like this, overall it was a good weekend with a second place."

"We’ve seen you not attended just one but two weddings? The one of Lizzie Doetterer‘s sister and our very own Daniel Ricciardo."

"Yeah, Daniel surprised us all a little with his spontaneous wedding plans, but his wife, wow weird to say that, but yeah his wife and Lizzie and co, made it possible and it was an amazing day. As for the second wedding, yeah that wasn’t planned. We decided to hit another club, but somehow ended up crashing a wedding. The people were all nice tho." I said, absently rubbing over my left ring finger, where just 3 days ago a wedding ring sat. A wedding ring Lizzie and I practically stole.

"There were rumours that you and Lizzie also tied the knot that night?"

"That are just rumours. Lizzie and I are not married. We had a lot of fun attending the weddings, that was enough for us." I smiled, thinking back at Lizzie and how beautiful she looked.

"So there was no secret wedding?" Tom laughed and I shook my head.

"No secret wedding." Thank god. I never felt as relieved as when the owner of the chapel, who dressed up as Elvis for ceremonies, told us that Pierre and I didn’t really marry. That we just made a joke and Lizzie took some pictures of it.

"Alright, then let’s get some questions from the floor."

The questions were almost all the same. Reflection of the season. What to expect from next season. How the contract negotiations were going. I answered as truthfully as possible and when I walked out, Lizzie waited outside with the next group.

"'Right now there is nothing new to announce. I'll be driving at Ferrari next season everything else is not on my mind right now.' You’re a liar, Mr. Leclerc." she grinned against my lips and I chuckled.

"I have no idea what you’re talking about." I shrugged my shoulders when she was called in "Have fun."

"Oh yes, so much fun." She sighed and walked inside.

I headed back to our hospitality, when I saw Arthur. He leaned against a wall, almost hidden, eyes closed phone at his ear. I walked over and as if he was feeling my presence he opened his eyes, shaking his head, walking away. I watched how he almost ran off, pocketing his phone, not once looking back and decided to ask him later about it, when I heard Silvia calling me. One last deep breath and I turned around, putting on a fake smile for whatever shenanigans she had in mind now.

 

The weekend started out with a bang. Topping FP1 didn’t just surprise the rest of the grid, but also ourselves. But reality settled in pretty fast after a more than realistic performance in FP2 and in Saturdays FP3. I sat in the garage, watching my mechanics doing their thing at my car and scrolled through Instagram when Shima sent me a link to a F1 gossip account. Opening the link, I already rolled my eyes, thinking about what abstruse rumour now is going on. It was a short clip of Arthur talking to a girl, looking very comfortable with the way the girl clung to his arm. A girl that wasn’t Carla. I read the caption right as Shima called.

"What the fuck is that?"

"Is that Arthur?" she asked and I swallowed hard "Because if that’s him… Lizzie there are comments that state that they were kissing… that’s not Carla."

"When was that?"

"Apparently end of October…"

"End of October? I was facetiming with Carla when we were in LA. She didn’t say anything…" I was confused. Carla would’ve mentioned it if they broke up.

"Lizzie… that gossip page is stating that Arthur unfollowed Carla on Instagram and deleted all pictures of them… I checked, theyre right." Shima said and I checked it myself  "There’s a new post… they state that multiple sources claim that the pictures with the other girl, a TikToker, were taken when he was still with Carla, shortly after they were both together spotted clubbing with friens in Monaco. Carla is apparently not aware of the situation."

Yeah sure. The internet is exploiting it, but Carla’s not aware." I laughed bitterly.

"Do you believe it?" Shima asked and I sighed "Would he do that?"

"I never thought so… but… I don’t know what to think." I groaned when Pete waved at me "Oh for fucks sake… I have to get in the car, quali starts soon."

"Oh shit! I totally forgot about that! I'm sorry! Don’t think about it too much, okay?" Shima sighed.

"I try…"

I tried and succeeded, partly. P5 for the final race of the year. Not the best but certainly not the worst either and when I walked to the interviews I had a little smile on my face, seeing Daniel smiling brightly, showing off his wedding ring.

"Oh there is my sister-in-law or how I call her from now on, ring-stealer, wanna join in?" he waved me over, joining in on his interview with Ted Kravitz.

"Ring-stealer?" he asked, looking at me and I laughed.

"Yeah… I- we, Charles and I, kinda stole their wedding rings? But like… not intentionally?" I said and he cocked an eyebrow.

"Care to elaborate?" Ted laughed and

Daniel threw his arm around my shoulders.

"Basically, at I don’t know? 1? 2? In the morning my wife and I, fucking hell I love saying that, my wife and I decided to jump in the pool outside." he chuckled looking at me "And because she was scared that we lose our wedding rings, we gave them Charles and Lizzie to take care of them. And somehow they kept them? And we didn’t think about them anymore when we finally got out of the pool… and these two drunk lovebirds forgot about them as well… my wife was a little… well she wasn’t really happy about us losing our wedding rings in our first night as husband and wife. But yeah, our little thieves brought them back."

"While apologising profoundly!" I threw in and Daniel nodded.

"So you and Charles didn’t get secretly married, now that you had the rings ready?" Ted chuckled and I shook my head.

"God no! Wearing someone else’s wedding ring is bad luck! I don’t want to imagine what happens when you use them to get married." I laughed, feeling bad for wearing the rings.

"So Vegas was fun then?" Ted looked at me and I sighed "You weren’t really happy about racing there? You and Max were… let’s say not that open minded?"

"It’s like I said, the track was fun, nothing too special, sure, but still fun. It was the show around it. Opening ceremony. Too many events. It was draining. I’m a racing driver, I want to race. I don’t want or need a big show…" I shrugged a little and he nodded.

"Thank you Lizzie, for joining us!" Ted said and I smiled.

"No worries! See you later Danny Ric!" I nudged his shoulder and walked off, right into Charles.

"Hey pretty girl." he smiled and pulled me in, kissing me shamelessly.

"Stop! Everyone is watching!" I whined a little and he rolled his eyes.

"No one is watching!" he chuckled and walked off, Julie next to me grinning.

"Come on." she laughed and I followed her back to our hospitality.

After our debrief I waited for Charles’ text and scrolled through some of the pictures and videos Shima sent me earlier. I watched the clip replay and scoffed, right as I saw Arthur walking by outside.

"Julie? Give me a minute, okay?" I walked out "Arthur!" he turned around, smiling.

"Hey Lizzie, I was on my way to see Charles." he hugged me but looked at me confused "What’s going on?"

"Is it true?" I asked him and he cocked an eyebrow "The clips and pictures from you and that girl? In Paris?"

"Lizzie, listen it’s not-…" he began.

"Yes or no. It’s simple. Is that really you? With that girl? You know I don’t believe gossip pages, but that picture? So please, answer my question. Is that you?" he took a deep breath and looked down "That’s answer enough. Why? This is not you. You wouldn’t… I don’t understand?"

"It’s complicated…" he said, rubbing his neck.

"No. Cheating isn’t complicated. It’s a decision. A stupid decision. One that you made. How could you?" the disappointment in my voice was palpable.

"Lizzie, please believe me… it’s not what it looks like. Let me just expl-…" he began when I saw 3 girls and a guy walking towards us. The girl that laughed the loudest looked familiar.

"Here you are Arthur!" she smiled at him and it dawned on me.

"You brought her here? Are you fucking kidding me? Already showing her off?" I was shocked.

"It’s not like this!" he stated.

"You’re an asshole, Arthur. You’re not the sweet guy I once knew. You changed. Not for the better." I said bluntly and walked back inside the hospitality, not reacting to him calling my name.

"I can’t wait to go home! Just pack the rest of our stuff and then it’s time to move into our first place together!" I leaned back in my seat, closing my eyes "Tests are done. I’m not needed until the 12th in the factory."

"Yeah well, I’m needed at the factory… so…" Charles sighed a little, smiling at the flight attendant who handed us some water "I feel bad for not helping you…"

"Oh come on! I’m finishing my place first, Shima will help me. And then Marta and Riccardo will help me finish with your place! It’s fine. Most of our furniture stays behind anyways! The new furniture is already delivered and some pieces are even assembled! So it’s just pack up and put it in our flat! And as soon as we’re back we’ll start with the rest together!"

"Yeah but still… I wish I could be more helpful… but they want me in Maranello for the big announcement."

"Mattia is gone. Fred comes in. You will finally have a team principal who will actually look out of for you as well! Who will listen on the input you’re giving! I’m really happy for you!" I smiled at him, leaning my head on his shoulder and snuggled a little into his side.

"Yeah… let’s hope that all the work and effort that Fred put in over the past year will pay off…" Charles mumbled and I grabbed his hand.

"I’m sure you’ll have an amazing season." I kissed the back of his hand and he sighed.

After a while I sat back up, grabbing my book and leaning back into my seat when I saw Charles scrolling through his phone, the look on his face pure agony.

"What’s going on?" I asked and he looked up.

"I still can’t believe that Arthur did that…" he whispered and I put my book down "You should’ve seen the look on his face when I tried to talk to him? He was furious… he! He did this? He has no right to be furious!"

"That was maybe because of me? Because I already gave him a piece of my mind and that’s why he had that attitude?" I replied but he shook his head.

"What you said was right! What he did was… I don’t know how he could do that. I’m so disappointed in him." Charles closed his eyes and leaned back "That’s not how we were raced. He has so many good role models in his life? I thought he would be better than this?"

"Maybe we need to talk to him again? Really figure out what happened?" I suggested but he just scoffed.

"His reaction said it all. He doesn’t t want to talk…"

"Give him a little time? I try to talk to Carla…"

"Poor girl. She’s like a little sister? She’s a part of this family! I’m so sorry for her…" Charles mumbled after a while and I nodded.

"Yeah… but she’s strong. She’ll be alright." or at least I hoped so.

I looked around. Chaos. Chaos everywhere. The mover did a good job in bringing the boxes into their designated rooms, but it was still a mess. A mess I had to organise. But I had no idea where to start. I put up some music and decided that the kitchen might be the perfect start. After what felt like hours all the boxes were empty and folded together in the hallway, the kitchen looked almost done. Just a few decorations here and there. I was about to decide what would be perfect when I got a notification on my phone. A text from Charles that the official announcement of Fred replacing Mattia would be out in the next minutes and that he was already on his way back home. I sighed, looking around. I had hope to be almost done by the time he would come home, but the chaos around proved me wrong. I continued with unpacking our clothes, trying to organise first my side of the walk in closet and then Charles. Taking the opportunity, I kept some of his most hideous clothes in one of the boxes, hoping I could get rid of them, without his knowledge. I shoved the box in the bottom shelf of one of my closets and put some of my clothes on top to hide it a little. Happy with my job I went on to unpack our books and other stuff for the living room upstairs. I lost all track of time, listening to my music, unpacking box after box. I stretched a little when I heard Charles calling after me.

"Cara mia?"

"I’m upstairs!" I called back and a moment later I heard him coming up the stairs.

"Here you are! And look at- damn Lizzie! You’re almost done?" he pulled me up, straight into his arms, hugging me tight.

"Well no, there are still some boxes for the kitchen left, don’t know how they ended up here? And also some knickknacks here and there. I also have to-…" I began but he silenced me with a kiss.

"Hi." he whispered against my lips.

"Hi." I breathed out, feeling myself blushing under his intense gaze.

"You did an amazing job, cara mia…"

"I tried. There is still some furniture that needs to be assembled and some boxes need to be unpacked. Oh and I have to put the bedding on our bed!" I sighed a little but Charles hugged ne closer, kissing my temple.

"Show me which boxes are for the kitchen and I bring them downstairs, then we can unpack them together…" he replied but I shook my head.

"We bring them down, but then you’re going to take a shower, I cook something and then we just relax? You drove all the way from Maranello. You must be exhausted!" I looked at him and he cupped my cheeks kissing my forehead.

"Sounds like a plan! And then tomorrow we’ll do the rest together!"

I nodded and showed him the boxes for the kitchen. Grabbing one myself to follow him I hissed a little in pain. Pain erupting in my back.

"Are you okay?" Charles turned around and I nodded.

"Yeah… I think it was all just a little much today with carrying all the stuff back and forth… I’m fine." I smiled but he waited for a moment then he walked back and took the box from my hands.

"You’re done carrying boxes. Come on…" he ushered me down the stairs and I sat down on the sofa "How about we order something to eat? Yeah?"

"Just order whatever you want to and that’s fine with me." I yawned a little, stretching my back and neck, feeling how tense I was.

"Alright, I’ll take a shower and order food, you l make yourself comfortable and pick out a movie?" Charles kissed the top of my head and I nodded leaning back.

I switched through Netflix sinking deeper into the pillows, my eyelids heavy. A dull pain in the back was the last thing I felt before I fell asleep.

I handed Charles another book he put away when I got a text from my sister. I replied quickly and then turned back to the box of books. After an hour all our books were stored away and the bookshelf was a wild mix of poetry, books about design and architecture, nature, fantasy books, cook books and books about photography. Right when I stepped away to look at our doing I got another text and I sighed reading it.

"What’s up?" Charles asked, pulling the packing film off of his piano.

"It was something about Christmas…" I said and he turned.

"What about Christmas?"

"It seems that this year everyone has some plans already…" I walked down the stairs with some empty boxes, Charles hot on my heels.

"Wait, wait, wait… are you telling me we’re not celebrating Christmas together this year?" Charles looked at me with big eyes. 

"Marcus, Lisa and Benji are going to Norway visiting Lisa’s family. Sissy and Liam are joining Daniel in Australia. Enzo will celebrate with Charlotte’s family, Arthur… well Arthur said to your mum that he wants to go to the alps with his friends, rent a cabin and yeah… so its just us and our parents…" I said, putting the boxes away when Charles shook his head.

"But its Christmas! We always celebrate Christmas together! Its like this for the last? I don’t know 15 years? Maybe longer?" I could see in his eyes that he was upset and gently stroked his cheek.

"Its okay, we grow up, starting our own families…" I started but he scoffed.

"That’s no reason to not celebrate together anymore! What are we supposed to do now? Celebrate Christmas all alone? Where do we go? What are we doing?" Charles sounded desperate.

"We can do whatever we want to do!"

"Yeah? I want to celebrate with our family…" he mumbled and got up, the sadness in his voice palpable.

"Charles…" I began but he held up his hand, walking towards the stairs, moments later I heard him play a slow and sad sounding version of Jingle Bells "Drama queen!" I yelled upstairs before I walked into the kitchen, sitting down at the island and opened up my MacBook, looking for an adventure that would brighten Charles mood. I immediately found the perfect getaway, it looked amazing. I didn’t know how long I sat there, when Charles hugged me from behind, making me squeal.

"Fuck! You scared the shit out of me!" I breathed out.

"Sorry… for being upset and scaring you…" he whispered in my neck, peppering it with tiny kisses "What are you doing?"

"Looking what we could do for Christmas and New Year's Eve…" I said and he sighed a little "Oh come on! Its just you and me? Isn’t that also something nice for a change?"

"Of course it is, but it's just… Christmas was always this big family party…and I loved it…" he mumbled, sitting down next to me.

"And it will be like that again, next year. But this year its just us, is that so bad?" I pouted a little and he groaned.

"Of course it's not! It's just… oh whatever, show me what you’ve planned." he leaned over and I turned the screen a little "New Zealand?"

"New Zealand. 3 weeks. You and I in our campervan. Look it has everything we need! A little kitchen. Bathroom. Big and cozy bed. Little seating area if the weather’s not too great. Everything. We can explore New Zealand the way we want. If we like it somewhere, we can stay. If not? We’ll just drive off. We can go hiking in the mountains. Surfing. Relax at beautiful beaches. We can go whale watching. And a big bonus, I think you’re completely unknown there."

"We are completely unknown there, you mean?" he looked at me pointedly.

"Okay, fine…we are completely unknow there…" I rolled my eyes a little and he pinched my side.

"That’s our camper? It looks really nice and cozy… just you and me in that van? Going wherever we want to go? Doing whatever we want to do? No one knows us?" he said, looking at the screen and I nodded.

"Yeah… I already looked up some nice places to go to, some nice hikes, campgrounds. It could be an amazing adventure…" I looked at him and he smiled, tilting his head a little.

"Book the flights. We're going to New Zealand…" he kissed my cheek and I squealed, this time out of happiness.

"You know how I always wanted to go to New Zealand! Finally!" I was so excited, already typing away, booking our flights and the campervan "I wanna go to Hobbiton! The WETA Cave, Milford Sound, Doubtful Sound! I wanna do the Tongariro Crossing… swimming with dolphins and seals in Kaikoura! Whale watching! Oh and Wharariki Beach! Oh god I’m so excited! I wanna wander through the red wood forest in Rotorua! Oh and look at all these amazing hiking trails! That’s like were training already for the new season… look! We can go bungee jumping and skydiving in Queenstown and-…" Charles pulled me in and kissed me, shutting up my excited rambling.

"I love how excited you are." he whispered against my lips and I smiled "So when are we leaving for our little adventure?"

"This Sunday everyone is coming for our little housewarming brunch… I have to be in Neuenburg on the 12th and our flight is on the 14th from Frankfurt." I said and he nodded.

"Will we be back for training camp with Andrea and JK?"

"Yep, maybe were even on the same flight back as JK. We have to visit him! He told me to come visit him for years! He probably has some secret spots for us!" I sent a text to him.

"So. New Zealand. You and me."

"You and me." I kissed him "We can go stargazing! The night sky is so clear in New Zealand, and we can go kayaking in the Abel Tasm-…" he interrupted me again, kissing me.

"Shhh cara mia, later…" he pulled me up "Didn’t we say every room?"

"What do you mean?" I looked at him all confused when he slipped his hand underneath my shirt, pushing it up and it dawned on me "Not we… you said that…" I breathed out against his lips as he pushed me against the kitchen island "Charles…" he hoisted me up, sitting me down on the cold countertop "Not on here…"

"Yes on here…" a devilish grin on his lips.

Charles POV:

Lizzie flitted through the flat, adjusting some vases here, pillows there. Next was the kitchen island and the wide variety of food she prepared.

"Do you think its enough?" she asked and I looked at her.

“Depends on how many people exactly are coming? 50?” I joked and she groaned a little.

“Im serious, do you think its enough? I could make another quiche maybe?” she was already halfway  through to the pantry, before I stopped her.

“Cara mia, we already have three quiches! And eggs in all shapes and forms. Bread rolls, bagels, croissants, fruit, vegetables, salad. A whole bunch of stuff I don’t even know what it is. Its enough. You did enough!” I reassured her, massaging her tense shoulders.

“I want it to be perfect. It’s the first time they all see this place, our place, our very own and first flat together. Penthouse. Its not a flat, it’s a penthouse. I need to get used to it first.” Lizzie sighed and I smiled.

“Lizzie, this place looks amazing. You made it a home for us, its perfect. That brunch? Perfect. The flowers? Perfect. The decoration on the table? Perfect. You? Perfect.” I kissed her and I felt her relaxing into me “Don’t worry. Its all going to be perfect…”

“Okay… thank you.” She whispered, right as her timer went off “Oh! The cupcakes!”

“Cupcakes? You made cupcakes as well? Again, how many people are coming exactly? 100?” I chuckled, watching her taking out two trays of cupcakes from the oven.

“Very funny…” she threw the oven mitts at and I caught them “I saw a recipe of these red velvet ones! They looked amazing so I had to try them.” She shrugged her shoulders, looking at the baking trays.

"I mean yeah, they look amazing." I said, grinning while looking at the island.

"I disinfected it. Twice." she mumbled, blushing slightly and I laughed.

"You mean you disinfected it twice today?" I chuckled when the doorbell rang.

"Oh god! They’re here already? I’m not ready! I need to change! I was just taking a break to do the last bits and take the cupcakes out of the oven!" Lizzie made big eyes and I kissed her cheek.

"You go change and I open the door. It’s fine! Everything looks great! The table is set. The food looks delicious. So let’s go!" I calmed her down and she nodded, almost sprinting into our bedroom. I chuckled before I went and opened the door.

 

"And that’s the terrace." I opened up the big sliding doors and stepped outside, followed by our parents, Sissy, Daniel and Liam, Arthur, Lorenzo and Charlotte, Joris and Lizzie.

"Oh wow! What a breathtaking view!" Marina said looking towards the ocean.

"Is that- is that a pool?" Sissy made big eyes when I nodded "You have a pool? On the terrace of your penthouse? Are you kidding me?" she followed Liam the stairs up to the pool and he looked like he was about to jump in "Don’t you dare!"

"We don’t have a pool at home!" he looked at me an I laughed, opening my arms and he jumped right into me "When it’s summer, can I come to you and swim with you?"

"Absolutely!" I smiled and he clapped excitedly.

"This is really… it’s amazing you two. I’m proud of you." Juergen said and pulled Lizzie to his side, kissing her head "I guess we lost you now for all time to Monaco."

"Oh come on, Pops… don’t get all mushy on me now." Lizzie sighed and Juergen chuckled as the doorbell rang "Let’s get back inside, the food is all ready."

I walked downstairs into the hallway and opened the door, looking surprised.

"Carla! Hi, umm- come in." I stepped aside and let her in, sensing her discomfort.

"Lizzie didn’t tell you that she invited me, right? I shouldn’t have come. I knew it was a bad idea…" she began but I shook my head.

"No! No it's not a bad idea! It’s  just-…" I stopped, looking towards the kitchen.

"He’s here, right?" she almost whispered and I nodded.

"Yeah… but if it’s okay for you, then let's go inside." I said, throwing my arm around her shoulders.

"I mean… yeah. I live here… Monaco isn’t that big so I might get used to seeing him around." her voice wavering "I’m sorry."

"Whats taking you so lo-…" Lizzie's head plopped through the door frame. She walked outside and hugged Carla "Hi! I'm so happy you came!"

"Is it really okay that I’m here? I don’t want to intrude or anything…" she lowered her gaze.

"You don’t intrude! You’re a part of this family! Also you helped me with designing this place so you should see how it all turned out, no? So come on in!" Lizzie took her hand and pulled her inside.

"Carla!" Liam chirped as soon as they walked through the door and he ran up to her.

"Hey Liam." she kneeled down and Liam hugged her tight.

"Carla, it's so good to see you!" Maman said as soon as Liam let go of her and then hugged her "You've been to Paris, I've seen? How was it?"

"It was wonderful. I really loved the city. Some of the people weren't the nicest tho… but yeah, I'm already planning my next tr-…" she stopped, right as Arthur walked down the stairs.

"Yeah we could try-…" Arthur said to Lorenzo but stopped dead in his tracks when he spotted Carla.

"Watch it!" Lorenzo bumped into him.

"What- why… what are you doing here?" Arthur asked her, his eyes wide.

"I-umm… Lizzie, she- umm…" Carla looked at her hands.

"I invited her!" Lizzie said bluntly and Arthur looked at her.

"Why?" he sounded conflicted.

"Because this is my, sorry Charles, our place, Carla helped me with some of the interior design decisions… also because I wanted to." Lizzie looked at Arthur, a fire in her eyes.

"Maybe I should just go…" Carla said quietly.

"No, you should not. We invited you. End of the story. And now let’s eat… Lizzie made food for at least 50 people, I hope you guys are hungry." I said and Lizzie smiled, pulling Carla with her, followed by the rest of our guests, only my brothers and Liam left.

"I'll leave." Arthur mumbled but Enzo grabbed him by the shoulders.

"Oh come on. Don’t be ridiculous. We’re all grown ups here!" he said and I nodded.

"I’m not!" Liam pouted when I picked him up and threw him over my shoulder, chuckling.

"Yeah but that my ex sits here and I have to be cool with it?" Arthur rolled his eyes.

"Ex because you cheated." It was out before I could stop it.

"Charles…" Lorenzo shook his head.

"Let’s eat." I only replied and followed Lizzie towards the kitchen.

 

I watched Arthur the entire time. He was quieter than usually. Only talking when someone asked him directly. He looked at me every now and then, feeling my gaze on him.

"Stop staring at him." Lizzie whispered, leaning over to grab the bottle of champagne in front of me.

"He should feel that we’re all disappointed in him." I whispered back.

"Believe me, he knows. I already had a few not so nice words for him, your Mum as well… and the fact that you all look at him like he kicked a puppy is also a clear indicator."

"I don’t care. What he did… it’s not okay. It’s so wrong. And I can’t believe that he did that. To Carla! She’s like a little sister, she’s part of the family and he fucked up." the last part was louder than intended and Arthur looked up from his plate.

"Charles… not here. Not now." Lorenzo warned and I rolled my eyes.

"Just say it. Come on. You’re dying to! So come on." Arthur looked at me and I balled my hand under the table into a fist, trying my best to not just burst out what I had in mind "Come on Charles, this is your chance."

"Arthur stop!" Maman said and he scoffed.

"I think it’s better when I leave..." Carla folded her napkin and moved her chair back.

"No, you know what? I’m leaving." Arthur said and got up "I’ll just grab my phone from upstairs and I’m gone." he walked up the stairs and I sighed.

"Carla, you stay." Lizzie put her hand on Carla’s arm.

"Excuse me…" I got up and followed him "Arthur…" I began but he ignored me, looking for his phone, which I spotted immediately and grabbed it.

Arthur looked at me, holding out his hand.

"Just give it to me and I'm gone…" he said but I shook my head "Charles…"

"Why did you do it?" I asked.

"Does it matter now?"

"Yes it does!"

"I don’t think so…" he sighed taking a step towards me "Give me my phone now and I’m gone."

"No! I want an answer!" I insisted.

"It was a mistake." he shrugged his shoulders.

"Then why did you do it? Explain it! Don’t just shrug your shoulders!" I was furious.

"No matter what I’m saying, it won’t be a good enough reason for you anyway!"

"Because there is no good reason for it! If your feelings changed, which happens, then talk to her! And not run away and cheat to make her end things because you deeply hurt her!

"You’re right. Of course you’re right. You’re Charles. Charles the golden boy. Charles the perfect boy. Charles who never makes any mistakes. Charles who’s amazing in everything he does. Charles who is so much better than me. Always was. Always will be. You’re right. I shouldn’t have done it. But I did, okay! I did it. It’s done. Over."

"No it’s not over! You pulled us all into this mess! Because Carla is a part of this family! And we are torn now because you- because you fucked up! How could you do this to her! I thought you love her! And when you love someone you don’t hurt them! You are supposed to love them more than anything! But you- you fucked up instead of talking to her you cheated… because you didn’t have the balls to end it yourself? Or what? You’re a fucking coward." I almost shouted it and he pushed me away, but I grabbed his arm, he looked at me, eyes full of rage.

"I’m a coward? That’s rich coming from you! I hurt Carla once! And that was it! You let Lizzie suffer for an entire year. You hurt her every single day for an entire year because you didn’t have the balls to tell her how you feel! You didn’t even see how much you hurt her! How often she cried! You didn’t know shit! If I’m a coward then you, oh so perfect Charles Leclerc are a coward as well!"

"Enough. Both of you!" Pops appeared out of nowhere "Charles, let go of him."

I let go of Arthur and took a step back.

"Why don’t you go out for a moment? Cool down?"

"No! Everyone is treating him like a kid who made a mistake… but he's no kid! He's old enough to know that actions have consequences! And sometimes that consequence is that everyone is fucking mad at you because you acted like a total asshole!"

"Okay that’s enough now. Charles, leave. Please." Juergen looked at me pointedly.

"No, he-…"

"Charles. Out. Now."

"Okay…" I sighed, turning around.

"And if youre on your way, take this little sneaky lad with you." he shook his head towards the stairs where Liam looked like a deer caught in headlight.

"Come on Bubba." I walked past him and he followed me outside.

"Why is everyone mad at Arthi?" Liam whispered and I sighed.

"He- umm he did something not so nice…" I began, but stopped, how do you explain a 5 year old that someone was cheating?

"He did something not so nice to Carla?"

"Yeah… he wasn’t nice to Carla."

"Why? We love Carla?" Liam pouted a little and I had to chuckle.

"Yeah, we do." I turned my head a little and looked inside, Arthur and Pops sitting down by the window bench "Come on, let’s go to the sofa, it’s more comfy there." I hoisted him up and quietly sat down by the garden lounge. I gave Liam my phone to keep him distracted with a video game while listening in on Pops and Arthur’s conversation

 "You know, I never told this anyone, but when I was around your age, I cheated on my girlfriend as well. I’m not proud of it and it’s nothing I talk a lot about. Honestly you’re one of only two people who knows about this but yeah I made a mistake, just like you did…" Pops said and my eyes widened.

"Wait, you cheated on Marina?" Arthur asked, sounding just as shocked as I felt.

"God no! No! No, I don’t agree with the way you’re brother said it, but I agree with what he said… you know, if you meet that person that you love more than anything in the world. If you know that’s the right person then you just can’t cheat on that person. Because every fibre in your body will scream at you to not do it, to not hurt that person, that person that’s a part of you… and usually when you’re smart enough you listen to it and I know that you’re smart enough! So I’m not going to say what you did was right. Hell no it wasn’t, but maybe Carla wasn’t the one…"

"Or she was the right one at the wrong time." Arthur mumbled and I turned a little to look at him.

"You think so?" Juergen asked and Arthur sighed.

"I love her. I wanted what Maman had with Papa, you with Marina, god even Charles and Lizzie! I wanted that! But… it’s scary? To think this far ahead in the future? We are so young? And I don’t know… shouldn’t we both explore life a bit on our own before we commit to something that big? She has dreams and ambitions that are far off from what I’m doing! But I saw how sad it made her when I was away and she felt like she didn’t support me when she wasn’t joining me at the track! And I told her it’s okay… but still… Lizzie and Charles are both in F1, they both know this life, after all they’re both living it, but Carla and I? It’s different. I don’t want her to put her goals aside just to be with me…"

"Sounds like she could be the right one at the wrong time…" Juergen nodded "Did you tell her this? No? Maybe explain her what happened… it’s still no excuse for cheating, but it’s at least an explanation…"

"I didn’t even really cheat… that girl, she was nice and sweet. Funny. So we talked a little, that’s all and then she kissed me out of the blue and I was just too stunned to speak because I was asking myself if I sent her any signals? But I left shortly after. Went back to the hotel and felt like complete dog shit…" Arthur said, head hung low "I saw that there were people taking pictures of it. So I was sure that it wouldn’t take long until Carla saw them… we had a big fight before I left for Paris. I told her that I wasn’t so sure about us anymore… then I left and this whole mess happened. I was prepared for it to come out. But it didn’t. And I avoided Carla, then sent her a text that I think it’s better if we break up. And then I left for Abu Dhabi and she sent me a text that she wants to talk about it when I’m back…"

"And then the pictures went online…" Juergen sighed and Arthur nodded.

"And then the pictures went online."

"What pictures?" Liam looked up from my phone, apparently bored of the game he was playing.

"What?” I looked at him.

"Arthur said that there are pictures online?"

"Oh yeah… um- his friend took pictures of him throughout the year…" I lied and Liam nodded, looking back down in the phone.

"I need to pee." he then said out of the blue getting up, opening the sliding doors.

"Wait!" I got up and followed him, Arthur and Pops looking at us.

"Pops, I need to pee!" Liam looked at him and I had to stop myself from laughing "I forgot where it was…"

"The toilet?" Pops asked and he nodded shyly.

"Come on, little one." Pops got up and took Liams hand in his, leading him away from Arthur and me.

"Umm- here." I handed him his phone which I still held in my hand.

"Thanks…" he mumbled, taking it "I’m sorry… for what I said about you and Lizzie."

"No, don’t be. It’s the truth. I just like to push it away and pretend it didn’t happen… I’m sorry for what I said…" I sighed a little.

"No… what you said was also the truth…" Arthur said, looking down "I know that what I did was wrong and that I deserve everyone’s wrath… I don’t want this to be awkward- with Carla, you know?"

"Yeah, sure… umm… do you- do you want to talk to her? Should I ask her to come up?" I replied a little hesitant and watched him, he closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed hard before he nodded "Yeah? Okay… you wait here, I’ll ask her." I got up and walked downstairs, a moment after Juergen and Liam descended downstairs.

"He’s a good kid, Charles. A good kid that made a mistake… don’t be too hard on him, you heard his reasonings…" Juergen mumbled and now I looked like a deer caught in headlight "Oh come on… you didn’t think you were subtle, do you?"

"Sorry…" I replied sheepishly, walking over to Carla "Could you… umm- could you come with me? Please?" I asked her and she nodded slightly.

"Excuse me…" she got up, Lizzie looking at me, and followed me.

"Look. I’m not going to defend Arthur. Not at all. And I want you to know that you’re always welcome here, okay? You’re a part of this family, no matter what…"

"Okay?" she looked a little nervous.

"He wants to talk to you… I know you owe him nothing. But-… maybe talking with him will be good for you as well?" I said slowly and her eyes widened.

"I- I don’t know… is that a good idea?" Carla whispered and I smiled reassuring.

"Just listen to him. You can walk out whenever you want to." I said and she took a deep breath.

"Okay. Yeah…" she smiled nervously and then walked upstairs.

I waited for a moment and then returned back to the table.

"What is going on?" Lizzie whispered "Where’s Carla? You didn’t kick her out, did you?"

"Of course not! She and Arthur talk… I think they haven’t really talked when they broke up…" I sighed a little, taking my glass and Lizzie nodded.

"Drama follows us wherever we go, I swear." she grabbed her glass and we clinked them together.

"I can’t wait for three drama free weeks in New Zealand…"

"Don’t jinx it!"

"Sorry!"

"I love you..." I heard Lizzie mumble, and looked up "Thank you for this..." she nodded towards the beautiful landscape in front of us "It was always my dream coming here and now... I'm just speechless... it's so beautiful!"

I smiled, taking her hand and kissing her knuckles. She was right, it was beautiful. Every new place we drove off to was breathtaking. The last ten days were filled with beautiful beaches, forests and mountains. We did two bigger hikes, taking almost the whole day each, explored around ate in little cates spending time talking to the locals. But by far my favourite part was our campervan. We drove to camping sites in the middle of a forest, or right next to a beach and just enjoyed ourselves. Cooking together, playing chess, reading, just cuddling in bed, watching the waves crash down on the shore. It was a truly magical place.

"What are our plans for Wellington tomorow?" I asked her, parking the van at a beautiful spot at the beach for the remainder of the day.

"I thought about going into the national museum? Te papa. It's Maori for treasure box. It shows a lot about Maori culture, the Polynesian culture, of course the history of New Zealand. Oh and it's also an art gallery!" Lizzie unbuckled her seat belt, rummaging through the glove compartment for her New Zealand guide.

"Sounds good..." I got out of the seat and stretched a little.

"Oh and I want to go to the WETA cave! I wanna make a tour!" she was overly excited and I cocked and eyebrow "It's the digital studio who created Lord of the Rings! You can make a tour through their workshop and see some props from the trilogies! Also a ton of other movies of course! Maybe some new projects!"

"Alright, Te papa and Weta cave it is." I smiled at her, while she continued to flip through the pages excitedly "What do you want to do today?"

"Hmm?" she looked up and I laughed.

"Today? Just do nothing? Go for a little walk? A little swim?"

"Oh umm-... yeah a little walk sounds nice? And then we can just do nothing? Relax a little? Cook?" she suggested and I nodded.

"Sounds perfect." I kissed her head.

After our walk we cooked together and watched a movie before we cozied up in bed, listening to the ocean. I never felt as much at peace like here. We explored New Zealand without people knowing who we were. We met up with JK and together with his girlfriend we spent a couple of days together on the South Island. He told me about a camping site that was almost unknown to tourists, and for our last night in the van I decided to surprise Lizzie with a night away at a truly magical place, how JK called it.

"Can I open my eyes now?" she asked for the up tenth time and I chuckled, lighting a candle.

"Yes cara mia, you can open your eyes now." I said and she did immediately.

Her eyes immediately fell onto the food on the tray, next to the open doors, revealing the beautiful beach in front of us.

"Wow…" she whispered, looking at me.

"It’s our last night, I thought we needed to say a proper goodbye to our van…" I smirked and she nodded.

"Yeah? What did you have in mind?" she smiled and I pulled her in.

"First we eat our food, then I eat…" I began but stopped when she blushed and looked down. I kissed her forehead and pulled her with me towards our bed and her eyes lit up.

"Burger Fuel!" she squealed and I laughed.

"Come on, let’s eat…"

The air inside the camper van felt thick with raw desire. Our lips met in a searing, intense kiss that ignited a spark between us, making Lizzie moan. It seemed the world around us faded away as we lost ourself in the heat of the moment. I pulled her into my lap, kissing her again, the desire palpable in every breath and every touch. My lips left a trail of kisses down her neck, setting her senses ablaze and eliciting breathy moans of pleasure from her. Lizzie began to tug at my shirt and I pulled it over my head, the rest of our clothes followed quickly. I littered her jaw and neck with open mouthed kisses when she let out a content sigh, yearning for my touch. I leaned back a little, trying to find a more comfortable position, when Lizzie moved forward, her hands trailing down my sides, before she leaned down, peppering my chest and abs with eager kisses. In one swift move I turned us around, now hovering above her naked form, a smile spread across my face as I gazed at her gorgeous, heavenly body, causing a blush to bloom on her cheeks. Her beauty was captivating, and I couldn't help but feel a rush of joy at the sight of her. The way she always blushed when I looked at her, made me fall in love with her all over again. I leaned down, kissing her passionately, swallowing down each and every sound she made. Moving down her neck, over her collarbone on to her breasts, I lavished them with kisses before delving further down, exploring every inch of her with a hunger that matched her own. I held her down, when I felt her scrambling away, grinning at her small whimpers.

"Charles…" she whispered and I kissed her thigh.

"Hmm?" I looked up at her glassy eyes.

"Stop teasing…"

"As you wish…"

After our training camp in the mountains, some intense sessions with JK and some quiet days with our family and friends it was time to prepare the new season. JK and I were just in the gym, doing some exercises to strengthen my back when a murmuring began. I was almost 100% sure that I knew what was going on so I just sat back and kept on doing my exercises like JK said. After a long, hot shower to tend to my sore and tense back I dressed up and walked inside our meeting room, everyone whispering. I grabbed an orange juice and sat down, it seemed like nobody noticed me so I leaned back and waited for the meeting to begin.

Right when Felix walked inside with Pete almost every phone in the room buzzed and Matt looked at his phone exhaling loudly.

"They just confirmed it officially." he said and I nodded slightly.

"Fucking hell. Lewis?" Pete’s jaw dropped and the whole room turned to look at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Did you know?" Felix looked at me intently and my eyes widened.

"Did I know what? That Ferrari snatched Lewis and kicked Carlos out?"

"Don’t play all innocent! You’re sleeping with the best and most reliable source!"

"Hey!" I let out.

"Sorry! Did Charles tell you anything?" Matt asked and I sighed.

"No. He didn’t. He probably did find out only shortly before us." I said. Half the truth.

"What a line-up!"

"Fred did a pretty good job, he’s not even team principal for 3 months and he already snatched Lewis out of Mercedes and secured Charles for multiple years. Damn, we should be afraid of the little French man!" Felix chuckled and I shrugged my shoulders.

"Fred loves Charles. The moment Ferrari announced Binotto‘s departure and that Fred would take over, I knew Charles would be getting a new contract."

"I guess we can expect big things from Ferrari this season then? I heard that Fred was heavily involved in the construction and design of this years car? He also brought in some new engineers and technicians over the last year?" Pete said and I nodded.

"You heard it here first: Charles will be our world champion at the end of the season." I smiled and Matt clapped his hands.

"You know what? If Charles wins, I jump in the harbour in Abu Dhabi." he said and I laughed.

"That’s a deal then!" I gave him a high five and we laughed "You should wear some swim shorts under your suit then."

"We’ll see." he shrugged and Felix got up.

"Alright folks, enough with the jokes, let’s focus on our car and our season, how does that sound?" he looked around and I nodded determined.

"Let’s do this!" Valtteri said next to me.

"Let the season begin!" I clapped my hands and so it all began.

Hours and hours in the simulator, giving feedback about every little vibration, every little anomaly we felt. But when we presented the new car, had the first tests and then head off for Bahrain, I was confident.

"Can I get you anything?" the flight attendant asked and I shook my head "For you Sir?"

"No, thanks." Charles smiled at her and she left "I can’t believe that the season starts again already…"

"Yeah? It feels like just yesterday we were in New Zealand?" I yawned, leaning back in my seat.

"Right? The last weeks literally flew by!" Charles said and I nodded.

"I’m really excited tho. I think we have a good car…" I looked at him and he grinned.

"Yeah? We too, I think…" he replied with a soft smile on his lips "We’ll see, I guess."

"I think you’re doing great this year. No, I know you’re doing great." I kissed his cheek and he laughed a little.

"Like I said, we‘ll see." Charles chuckled.

"Oh we will." I cuddled into his side.

"And we are back for the 2024 Formula 1 Championship starting here in Bahrain with race weekend number 1 of 24! With us today Lizzie Doetterer, Audi, George Russell, Mercedes, Oscar Piastri, McLaren, Carlos Sainz, Ferrari and Fernando Alonso, Aston Martin. Now let’s start with you Lizzie, winter break, it seems like you and Charles went a little off grid? Renting a camper van, exploring New Zealand all alone? Tell us a little bit about your break, please." Tom Clarkson smiled at me and I picked up the microphone.

"Yeah, we thought we would do something a little unconventional. Not just some nice beach resort. We did a lot of different activities in New Zealand. Hiking, climbing, surfing, but we also tried some more extreme stuff like bungee jumping and sky diving. It was an amazing trip and we can’t wait to come back to this amazing country." I said and George looked at me.

"Bungee jumping? Sky diving? Aren’t F1 cars enough for you guys?" he laughed and I shrugged my shoulders.

"You know us, we love action." I chuckled and he nodded "What did you do? Just relax and do nothing?"

"Basically…" George laughed.

Clarkson asked the other drivers about their break and then sat up a little, looking at us.

"Now let’s talk a little about contracts. I think we were all a bit shocked by the news that Lewis will leave Mercedes at the end of the year to join Ferrari? Your thoughts on that? George?" Clarkson said.

"Of course we were all a little shocked. But Lewis did so much for this team. He was an amazing team mate and now we want to end our journey together on a high." he answered and I nodded.

The rest of the drivers answered the questions and soon it was time for the journalists to ask their questions.

"Carlos, are the rumours true? Are there talks with Audi for the next season? We know your father is a highly cherished member of the Audi Sports family, is he talking with the F1 team?"

I swallowed hard when I heard that question, but what was even worse was the smile on Sainz face.

"There are always rumours, right now I’m focused on my last year with Ferrari. But of course I have to think ahead."

"That’s not a no."

"No, it’s not." Sainz laughed, his head slightly tilting, looking at me, smirking.

What the actual fuck? Was Sainz after my seat?

Chapter 42 - sooooo our two lovebirds didn’t marry after all 😅 I have something else planned for these two in their future 😇

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[fushipurro]

Red Lights Red Flags

Chapter 8 - Secrets & Betrayal

<- Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter ->

☆ Content: 18+ MDNI, implied non-con (two very brief sentences), emotional hurt/little comfort, physical violence, degradation, angst

☆ Word Count: 3.6k

As warmer weather takes hold and the trees begin to flower, it’s a sure sign that spring is on the horizon. Not a cloud in the sky dares to block out the sun, and all the mounds of snow are but a distant memory. However. in its wake, the ground is left exceedingly parched, with no telling of rain to cleanse its thirst.

With these conditions, many of the courtesans have taken to spend their daylight hours enjoying the light out on porches or in the courtyard of the brothel. Shion had made plans with you ahead of time to enjoy some tea with her, alongside a few others close to her.

You enter the courtyard, making your way towards the gazebo with a tray in hand, only to see that the guests of honor or none other than two other high-ranking flowers ─ Murasaki and Tsubaki.

The latter perks up upon your arrival, cheerfully pressing her palms together. “You must be Marigold,” she greets with a rich, sultry voice, “Come, sit with us, my dear.”

You dip your head in a slight bow, setting the tray down and distributing ceramic cups evenly filled with fresh tea first. In the presence of Shion alone, you feel comfortable being yourself without all the extra mannerisms expected of you. But with this being your first formal meeting with the reigning courtesans, you decide it best to appear proper and refined.

The last thing you want is another ordeal about respect or remembering your place like Botan had beaten into you.

The three flowers carry the weight of the conversation while you opt to sit in silence, enjoying this chance to be in their presence. Contrary to the rivalries you’ve witnessed in your working career, these women act as though they’re friends ─ sisters even.

There’s no tension or complaints, simply humor and mundane conversations. At least, until Tsubaki narrows in on a topic that unravels that momentary peace.

“Have you heard the news yet?” She asks, her question posed towards the aster.

Shion’s response comes with a smile laced in underlying sorrow, “I have, it’s quite a shame.” There’s a brief pause as she sips on her tea. You glance up to them with a raised brow, unsure what they’re referring to. “I’ll miss days like these after you’re gone.”

“As will I,” Murasaki speaks with a somber tone, but her lips form a smile nearly betraying those feelings. “I am looking forward though to my new life.”

“Where are you going?” you ask, unable to sustain your curiosity any further.

“I’m to be sold to one of my top clients ─ an official from the Kamo Clan,” she tells you, and it makes perfect sense now to you.

Buying out courtesans from their duties is a common tradition, but the price ranges based on the status they hold. For someone to have the funds needed to acquire the wisteria herself, they would have to belong to one of the founding clans.

The thought of it forms a new question in your mind, one that’s been bugging you for quite some time.

What about your debt?

You were among the dozens sent to the Gojo estate ─ the payments for those services would have to be a large chip off the debt you hold. How much more could you possibly owe at this point?

“Do you believe your love will do the same for you soon?” Tsubaki asks of you.

Your eyes widen at the insinuation that she knows your secret. You look to Shion for an answer, but her eyes remain closed with a knowing smile as she takes another sip.

“Don’t look surprised, Shion’s told me all about your routine escapades,” she snickers teasingly so, “Quite the little scandal, but one I would never feel good about spoiling so don’t fret, my dear.”

You sigh, relieved from her words. “I can’t imagine he needs to,” you remark. “Once my debt is paid off, I’ll be leaving of my own accord.”

There’s a sudden shift in the atmosphere, the air stilling as each of the three exchange unspoken words with one another.

“Sweetheart, I’m not sure if I should be the one telling you this but…” Tsubaki’s eyes flicker to Shion, who nods with approval. “…you should know that there is no walking out of here without a price.”

Huh? That can’t be right?

“What about my debt? What’s the point of it then?” Panic settles in over your features, making you feel as though everything you’ve been told has been all one big lie confessed to you now for the first time.

“Control,” Shion says. “Some come to the pleasure district on their own accord, while others are born into it.” She looks down at her cup, eyes coating with a thin layer of gloss. “Then there are those like you ─ a victim of circumstance. What you call your ‘debt’ is merely the price for your life that Hanami has already paid up for.”

“H-how am I supposed to leave then? To be free?” Your voice cracks between words. “Toji has a bounty on his head, he can’t just walk in here with a pouch of gold and leave with me!” Tears spill from your eyes despite your efforts to remain poised.

“Shh, little one,” Shion coos, grasping your hand between hers, rubbing smooth shapes over the top. “Hope is not yet lost for you, do not give up.”

You don’t, or rather can’t answer right away as you need a minute to calm down. “What can I even do?” you whisper.

“For now, nothing. The answer will reveal itself to you in time,” she answers, cryptic as ever, but it’s not good enough for you ─ no, not this time. You’re tired of secrets and want a straight answer.

“Are there any other ways to leave besides being bought?”

“Tainting your value,” Tsubaki informs, earning a scolding glare from the aster.

Shion turns back to you, sighing softly, “As Tsubaki says, that is an option, but not one I recommend. I tried it once, but it made no difference in the end except for losing a piece of myself in the process.”

The hurt in her voice tempers your anger. “May I ask what happened?”

The motions of her thumb cease, but in turn, her grip tightens around you. “I met a man I truly loved around the time I first arrived here, much like yourself. My family had sold me to pay off their debt, and I sought solace in the only one who understood me under the moonlight.”

She pauses, a ghost of a smile appearing as she recalls the memory through her mirrored form in her teacup.

“Hanami had her reasons for wanting to maintain my purity, but I desired an escape above all else. When the day came that my moon-cycle disappeared, I was overjoyed to finally taint that vision of hers.”

Her expression drops into one filled with sorrow and residual spite. Tsubaki and Murasaki keep their eyes on Shion throughout it all, supporting her in silence as they too are reliving this moment in time.

“Hanami was mad, unimaginably so, but I could tell from her wicked eyes that she had something new in mind. Right then and there, I knew that if I were to have a daughter, she would live a fate worse than mine. She would’ve been born and raised, in service to this brothel until the day she dies as Hanami’s perfect gem, carefully crafted as such by her own hands.”

You grimace at this revelation, knowing all too well that she’s right. Hanami at her core is a twisted curse, a cruel woman who cares nothing for others. With how often Shion treats you like her own daughter, you finally understand why after this.

She is a mother, or at least was.

“I was kept in a cage for a while after, but not even Hanami could hope to break my spirits. That would become my duty, the night my daughter took her first breath of life, I had to let go.”

She spares a thoughtful look to Tsubaki who you conclude must have been at her side when it all occurred. As one of the oldest courtesans in this brothel alone, she must have all sorts of history to tell.

“I hope when my darling little Mei grows up, she’ll understand why I couldn’t be there for her all this time.” Shion concludes her tale with a one sole teardrop falling from her eye onto the surface of her tea. A wave ripples through, soon settling back to an eerie calm.

You take a few moments before responding, “I am so sorry, Shion. I can’t even begin to imagine how you must have felt.”

“I truly hope you never know the pain of losing one of your own, my little Marigold.”

“That crone never has forgiven you for that, has she?” Tsubaki snorts. “Even with the stack she’s getting from Kamo, I’m betting she’ll be out for blood soon enough.”

“Relief is what she should feel for not having me around with my technique to worry about,” Murasaki retorts with an amused face, but her words confuse you.

Technique?

“My birth family may have thought of me as a stain for it, but Noritoshi shows much more delicacy on the matter. I’m certain we’ll have a true, loving family with each other.”

“What do you mean by techni–“

“Excuse me,” someone interrupts. You and the three turn to a courtesan standing just outside the gazebo. “My apologies, but Hanami is requesting your presence,” the woman says, looking directly to you.

Shion releases your hand, almost begrudgingly so with cautious intent. Whatever the case, you can’t refuse an audience with the proprietor, so, you stand and bid farewell to the flowers.

The courtesan who came for you urges you to follow her, but along the way you realize she isn’t leading you to Hanami’s Rose Room. In fact, they’re taking you the complete opposite way, down a familiar stretch of hallways only to stop in front of a set of doors you hoped never to have to enter through again.

The Peony Room.

You now recognize the woman at your side to be one of Botan’s own, reality dawning on you that whatever is inside cannot be good. They slide the door open before you can react, all while your heart starts to beat a mile a minute, threatening to escape the confines of your chest if this keeps up.

The group inside only makes it worse. Not only are Botan and Hanami present, but in the center is a man you know to be one of the Zenin Clan’s own ─ Jinichi Zenin.

It’s instantaneous the way fear takes hold of your body, draining you of color, leaving you feeling cold and clammy. His piercing gaze alone is enough to have every hair on your body standing, your mind begging you to run while you still can.

You wouldn’t get far anyways.

“Sit. Now,” Hanami decrees, with a low growl that forces you right to your knees. “Care to explain what you’ve been hiding?”

You swallow thickly, looking down at your trembling hands folded over one another on the tatami. “W-what do you mea–“

“Don’t play stupid,” Botan scoffs. “We know all about the secret you’ve been keeping.”

Your eyes widen.

“Did you honestly believe you could hide it while under my roof?” Hanami clicks her tongue, her patience thinning. “I certainly don’t let you live here for free out of the kindness of my heart.” Her words are anything but kind, instead dripping with animosity.

Jinichi raises his hand, motioning for their silence. “Where is my brother?” he then inquires, his voice noticeably calmer than the two women.

“I-I don’t know,” you reply, meek as ever from the weight of his gaze.

“Did no one ever teach you respect? You should know better than to lie to me.” Jinichi’s eyes narrow with malice as he looks down on you. “Now I’ll ask again. Where is Toji,” he repeats in a commanding tone, rich in hostility.

His calmness was but an act to fool you, and it failed. Now he can resort to his other means.

“I don’t know!” You lift your face to meet his, tears coating your cheeks. “He doesn’t tell me where he goes!” You tell him the truth, only because it can’t betray Toji. You really don’tknow where he is.

“You lying bitch!” Botan spits with unrepressed fury. “What is it that you think will happen? Do you honestly believe he’s going to come ‘rescue’ poor little you if you protect him? Don’t you get that he’s just using you for his pleasure and nothing more?”

“He’s not!” you argue, baring your fangs at her with fire in your eyes.

That’s not who Toji is.

“Don’t you talk back to me! Did you not learn your lesson after–“

“Enough!” Jinichi bellows, causing you both to flinch.

He exhales heavily after a moment. “Come here,” he orders.

You don’t move, not yet at least as you stare up to him with a fearful look. Obeying his command will only send you further into the demon’s maw.

“Do not make me repeat myself.”

You swallow again, your throat devoid of any moisture that’s been sapped. The urge to run intensifies again as you shuffle closer, even if it’s a futile effort. You stop, but it isn’t enough yet for his liking, so he urges you even closer with a two-finger motion until you’re within arm’s reach.

Slap!

The force sends your face down against the tatami with an audible thud that sends your head spinning. He then grabs a chunk of your hair, lifting you painfully back up while at the same time drawing his face closer. You cry out in pain, but he and everyone else in the room ignores your plead for mercy.

“We’ll get the information we need from you one way or another,” he warns, releasing you from his hold only to send you flying backwards with a sharp kick to your stomach area, knocking the wind straight out of your lungs.

Your screams are silenced from whatever bones just snapped in your body. You lay there on the ground, clutching yourself, feeling a pain worse than anything you’ve felt before in your life.

Botan’s laugh echoes throughout the room like that of a hyena, cackling away at your misery. “Oh, how I’m going to enjoy this,” she says with a sadistic intent.

As you lay nearly lifeless atop the frigid, stone tile, you stare up through the bars of your window at the only thing you have to keep you company ─ the moon. Even then, she’s barely visible, hidden away behind a curtain of black. It’s like the moon or the stars can’t bear to see you in your current state.

Jinichi had dragged you through the halls and passed other courtesans in a cruel display of power. You were the perfect opportunity to make a point of what happens to those who cross the leadership of their country, or more specifically, the Zenin Clan.

From Hanami’s request, you were thrown into one of the many basement rooms that hold more of a resemblance to a prison cell than anything. The walls and floor are made of stone, with iron bars to contain those deemed defilers. This must be where Shion was once held during the many months of her pregnancy.

Another cage within a cage… how ironic.

Jinichi abused you for some time after, demanding information you don’t even have for his own selfish desire to end Toji’s life. He didn’t stop when you were beaten and bruised, nor when your body gave out as black spots filled your vision until nothing remained.

Hanami was there when you first woke up after, feeling especially sore and dirty ─ no doubt used for acts you weren’t even fully aware were happening as you were unconscious. But that wasn’t the end of your torture.

“I had hopes you’d grown into a functional tool, but it appears you need to be reshaped,” Hanami muses, staring down at you with a mixture of anger and disappointment. “Don’t get yourself caught up in feelings, you’re nothing more than a hole to be filled. Remember that.”

It hurt, unimaginably so, even making you forget about the pain of your broken ribs for a short time. None of it however could possibly compare to the words Botan spoke in passing only a few days after.

That day, she had chosen to be the one to bring you your meal ─ a tray with some scraps and rotting fruit, topped off with some of her fresh spit as seasoning. She held it just out of reach from you, as far as the chain around your ankle would allow you to move from the wall.

“You want to know how I found out about your little secret?” she laughs in a wicked tune. “You have daddy dearest to thank for that one,” Botan reveals, tearing a piece from your heart.

“After you took Toji from me, I decided to take something from you…” She sneers, mocking your distressed expression. “It wasn’t hard since he owes his debt to me, but I’m glad I managed to convince that old hag to let him back in here for my plan.”

The contents of the tray spill out across the dirty floor as Botan thrusts it towards you, taking her leave with a trail of shrill laughter in her wake. You pay no mind to the state of the food ─ too hungry to care, too tired to fight.

This is your fate.

If you had any tears left to spare, you might break down further into this abyss. In the end, your father betrayed you again, only this time by playing with your feelings for his advantage.

What a fool you were to believe he was changing, not when the only person he ever truly cared about is dead and gone. Why else would he have been absent from so much of your life?

This is all his fault.

But loving him was your fault for thinking the blood you share made it any different.

Curse him.

It wasn’t only moments from your life; it was your whole family’s as well. Perhaps that’s why Akane couldn’t bear to be born, or why your mother fell ill in the time after. Was his absence the true reason she declined? Did he truly love her or was that also some façade?

Curse him.

You hate that in the depths of your darkness, these whispering voices sound like music to your ears. They’re all you have right now and the only thing making you feel even the slightest bit better. Does it make you a bad person for wanting to listen more?

In your weakest moment, it’s all you can do.

“Curse you, Daisuke,” you weakly mumble to whatever shadow is listening.

You’re no father of mine any longer.

Toji was right to hold worries over the man’s sudden return, and you regret not paying it more mind. Although, now you understand Toji more than you would like to admit. It’s a wonder how Toji is even related to Jinichi, let alone the rest of his fucked-up family.

But maybe that’s okay.

Family is what you make of it after all. It’s where your heart and soul come together to make a loving bond that transcends all else. You don’t need blood relation to share that with someone. You just need the right person to trust with that piece of you. To trust with you.

“Are you falling in love?” The aster’s words from before ring in your head.

“Yes, Shion,” you declare with the stars as your witness this time, rather than the darkness. “I am in love with him.”

A cawing sound pulls you back from your reverie. Outside your puny clerestory now in place of the night sky is a piebald crow, hopping along the dirt. You force yourself to sit up, clenching your jaw tightly together as sharp pain shoots up the side of your body in agonizing bursts.

The crow has something with it that it uses its beak to push between the bars until it falls onto your bedroll. A tangerine. You glance back up to the bird as it almost appears to be examining you before taking flight, leaving you alone once more.

With shaky hands, you peel away the skin of the fruit. Juices overflow with each bite that seem to replenish the tears in your eyes that had long since dried up. Between each bite of the ambrosial treat, you wipe your cheeks dry using the torn sleeves of your tarnished marigold robes.

A common theme you feel ─ to have something you deem perfect become stained and anything but.

You manage the strength to stand up fully again, this time on two legs, clutching your side with one arm. From the tips of your toes, you look out into what little of the world you can see for the first time in what’s felt like weeks but has merely been days.

In the distance, there’s a warm, glowing light bouncing off the clouds that rest low on the skies, moving quickly across.

Dawn? No…

You’ve witnessed the light of dawn enough in your time with Toji to paint a clear picture in all its possible colors in your sleep.

This is different.

What you see growing ever closer to you isn’t the sun’s golden hues, nor is the smell that hits your nose that of dewdrops and freshly bloomed flowers.

No, what rages on in the distance is disastrous in nature with only one clear desire ─ to devour everything in its path.

A true calamity.

Fire.

☆ Notes: “wow, what a crazy turn of events with a cliffhanger to top it all off! I can’t wait to read what happens next!” I mutter to myself, staring at the blinking cursor of an empty word document.

Fr though, this was a little intense to write since I kept having all kinds of different ideas and trying to figure out how I wanted certain scenes to play out, but things are happening!!! I’m super excited for the next chapter but you guys miiight kill me depending on what I decide to do with certain things :’)

☆ Taglist: @fandomtrash5092 @catmania-choco

#toji fushiguro #jjk #jjk toji #toji zenin #jujutsu kaisen #toji x reader #jjk au #toji x female reader #toji fushiguro x reader #toji x y/n #toji x you #courtesan!reader #ronin!toji

[tojiscumdumpster]

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN - TOJI

⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀✧ summary page

Zen’in Chiaki. Sixty-three. Location is in Okinawa, Japan… Reason for kill–tampering of legal documents within the company…

  The more I read this shit, it doesn’t make sense to me. A Zen’in being targeted for fucking with documents? I have no fear when it comes to those fuckers, but I don’t think anyone would be reckless enough to get themselves involved with that family. 

 My time there had me witnessing the most gruesome shit whenever someone tried to interfere with their affairs, so anyone without guts would even try to take them out. Now I’m reading a contract with a sixty-three-year-old woman that’s on their shitlist for tampering? 

 Something’s not adding up, especially when the woman appears to be from that family.

 Zen’in Chiaki? That name doesn’t ring a bell.  Don’t remember my old man having any aunts, and all his siblings are men. Could she be a cousin? A wife? I have no fucking clue. But I need a more detailed reason why she’s being targeted to kill because I just don’t go around sniping old ladies for the hell of it. 

  Is this why Kong was up my ass about taking this contract? Because the person is a Zen’in? Does he think I want to take revenge on those fuckers who abused me and the ones who witnessed it? Maybe if I didn’t have Megumi, I’d find pleasure in this. However, I can’t take that risk and do anything that could possibly fall back on my kid. 

 Just when I was about to close the folder and call Kong to reject this contract, something in her file grabs my attention. 

 Target had relations with several members of the Zen'in Family. 

 “What the fuck…” That’s what this is? They want to kill some broad they all slept with? So she’s definitely someone’s mistress. My guess is she’s not actually from the family and was married into, and probably slept around for money.

 Maybe now they’re not giving her what she wants, she went into tampering, they found out, and now they want to wipe her out.

 That’s the only thing that makes sense. Some shit Kong got me into, but still–why does he want me to take this?  

 Pulling out my burner phone from my locked desk draw, I speed dial Kong to get a clear answer. Because at this point, I’m tired of the vague crap.

 “Fucking pick up. I know you’re not asleep…” I mutter to myself. Most likely the fucker is up and smoking cigarettes yet the line is still ringing. “You got to me kidd–”

 “Oh, fuck yes.” Did this… motherfucker really answer the phone while he’s balls deep in some woman? “Fushiguro–calling so late. Did you miss me?”

 “You couldn’t get your dick together before answering the phone?”

 He deeply sighs followed with a chuckle. “Can’t have my lover waiting for me.”

 “Cut the crap. It’s about the file. Get the girl out the room or go somewhere private you can talk,” I say firmly. 

 “Ah, so you’ve finally read it. You’re going to take it. Yeah?” 

 “Why’d you give me this shit? Who’s Chiaki Zen’in?” 

 I hear him light a cigarette and take a puff. “That’s not my family, Fushiguro. How the hell am I supposed to know?”

 “Because you gave this to me! Now I definitely feel like you’re trying to set me up.” 

 “Fushiguro, get your fucking head out your ass and use your brain for once. What benefit do I get for setting you up?”

 I shrug. “Money.”

 “Like I don’t have plenty. It actually hurts that you don’t trust me as Megumi’s godfather.” Again with the banter because I know Kong loves messing with me. 

 “Fuck off.”

 “And plus, I value my life. You’re a crazy son of a bitch. I know my place.”

 At least he knows. 

 He continues, “Look—I think you should take the contract. It might help you get the answers you’re looking for. You don’t have to kill the lady, but maybe she knows something about what actually happened to your wife.”

 I arched my brow. “And how would she know?”  

 “That’s why you fucking ask, genius. If Naoya overheard them talk, there’s a possibility she could’ve as well,” he says. “If she was a mistress, then they might’ve talked around her without realizing she’s listening. Take the contract, go find her, and get answers.”

 Kong does have a point. 

 Since that Zen’in fuck insinuated my old man had something to do with my late wife’s death, I’ve been losing sleep to do further digging, and have Kong do the same. 

 Asking my father or uncle directly won’t do anything because I know they’ll just lie. And quite frankly, if I ever see them again, I’d probably just beat them both to a pulp. So maybe seeing who this Chiaki Zen’in woman is would help me get the answers I need.

  The convenience of this contract is that it’s due in three months—around the time I’m flying to Tokyo. What an interesting fucking trip this will be.

 “Alright. I’ll take it.”

three weeks later…

 “Y/N, where… are… we?”

  Alright—when Y/N said to take the day off because we’re going on a date, never did I expect for her to take us to a Formula One track race. Especially to a race that I thought was fucking sold out. 

 And the craziness thing is—I never mentioned wanting to go, so how did she know? 

 Is this the fluffy shit they talk about in relationships? Remembering what your partner enjoys to make them happy? Because when it comes to Y/N, I’ll do whatever just to see that pretty smile on her face. 

 Just don’t expect that to happen to me, though. Simply ‘cuz I’ve never experienced it. But since I made Y/N mine a little over a month ago, she’s gotten me used to certain shit. 

 Dates. Skin to skin contact in bed. Fucking self care routine that involves this retinol concoction I still don’t understand but visibly see the difference it does to my face. 

 And to top it off, making videos together where we dress up in coordinating outfits before we go out. All of this shit is foreign to me, yet…it feels damn good. 

 For the first time in a while, life isn’t too bad. Me and Megs are pretty decent, and now my relationship with Y/N. . . I have nothing to complain about. 

 “We’re at a Formula One—” Before she got the chance to respond, I crashed my lips against her to show my fucking appreciation. Her stiff nature shows she’s shocked at my sudden kiss, but she immediately relaxes in my embrace and the moment I grip her ass. 

 Those soft moans always taste the sweetest when we’re out in public, and Y/N must’ve forgot I have a exhibitionism kink. 

 “I know where we’re at, Y/N.” I look into her eyes, hoping my own conveys how I feel at this moment. With how she’s smiling at me, I’m sure it does. 

 She’s so fucking pretty. Don’t think I’ll ever get over that. 

 “Easy, big guy. I see the look in your eyes,” she teases. “We have the whole day together.”

 I kiss her cheek before grabbing her hand to walk toward the stadium. “You’re wearing that tiny ass skirt around me and expect me to behave?”

 “Toji—I could be wearing a cheese suit and you’d still want to fuck me.”

 I throw my head back and chuckle. “Glad you know me, sweets.” 

 She nods with a smile. “I do.”

 “How’d you get these tickets anyways? Tried to get them myself and they fucking sold out in a minute.”

 “Your girl has some connections. Meaning, I know a guy.”

 I raise a brown in concern. “Hope it’s not any exes.”

 “No, baby,” she says through a giggle. “One of my students' older brothers, who I happened to be acquainted with, gave me his tickets.”

 “Willingly?”

 “You should know how charming I could be, Mr. Fushiguro.”

 I shake my head. “Trust me. I know.”

 She wraps her arms around mine and leans against me. “I’m excited, TJ. I’ve never been to a Formula One race before.”

 “They’re pretty cool. Just here to bet some money, though.”

 “Should I be surprised?”

 “Nope,” I responded with an exaggerated pop sound. 

 “Well, I’ll just be the pretty girlfriend who asks a thousand questions.”

 Being with Y/N is starting to feel like second nature to me. Her presence is so damn addicting and I know I’ll never grow tired of it. 

 Almost like if I keep spending time with her, these memories I’ve been having lately will start making sense. The shit is weird, and I don’t believe in anything… but I do believe in Y/N. I believe she’s it for me. And say if we don’t work out. . . Well, I’ll keep trying until we do. 

  Please, don’t leave me. That voice keeps echoing in my head, and I can’t help but think it’s Y/N. 

 I won’t, I respond internally. 

 “. . . Baby, you’re okay?” A soft, concerned voice overlaps my thoughts, reminding me I’m with Y/N.

 “Y-Yeah, my bad, sweets.”

 “You’ve been doing a lot of zoning out lately,” she says, brows slightly dipping. “You sure everything’s okay?”

 “Positive,” I lied, not wanting her to worry. 

 She looks like she doesn’t believe me, but decides to drop it, which I’m grateful for. “Okay,” she replies with a soft smile. 

 Eventually we found our seats just before the race and I find myself itching to place bets with the fuckers around me. Never can pass up an opportunity to make extra cash. 

 “. . . it’s round one of the Formula One season of . . .” The commentator blares throughout the stadium with intros of each racer and all the other shit they say before the race begins. 

 Courtesy of whoever this person gave Y/N the tickets, our seats are pretty damn good. But, of course, the best view of the stadium is my girl sitting next to me. 

 The best view of the stadium is my girl sitting next to me. Wow, how fucking corny did that sound? I’ve been turning into an all time sap ever since I’ve seen Y/N for the first time. It’s not like I give a damn. 

 Told myself I want to be better for her because quite frankly, a fucker like me doesn’t deserve a girl like Y/N. And it’s not like I’m trying to convince myself of it either, but I’m known to be the Zen’in fuck up. The unlovable child. The accident. . . 

 Why don’t you understand that I love you?

 Every time I even think for a second about all the fucked up shit my old man said to me, that familiar voice pops up in my mind. 

 However, I didn’t get a chance to think about it any longer. 

 Y/N’s plush lips were on mine, rewarding me with a kiss that brought me back to reality and rushed arousal to my cock. But still…it managed to be soft…longing…reassuring. . . The kiss put words in my mouth that felt weird for me to say. 

 It’s like she knew I was thinking about some shit that had me internally spiraling, though, rather than asking, she gave me a kiss that dispel any negative thoughts lingering inside of me. 

 “Hi, big guy.” Her voice is filled with tenderness, barely above a whisper when she looks at me with those eyes that say it’s okay. 

 Something I probably need to hear. 

 “So, how much do you usually bet on these games?” she asked, changing the topic from where my mind was. 

 “Depends, but Formula One races are usually filled with rich fuckers, so I bid higher.” 

 “. . . And this is the track we’re racing on today—fifty-eight laps. Three point two-eight miles per lap. . .”

 Thirty minutes later, and the race starts. But honestly, I barely gave a damn about the race or betting since I was more invested in listening to Y/N’s commentary. 

 If it wasn’t her being concerned about the drivers crashing into the mountain of tires, it was her telling me how hot I’d look in the driver’s gear. 

 Her words. Not mine. 

 Whenever I was into the race, yelling at the track like a maniac because I eventually placed bets, she was right there with me—shouting like she placed bets. 

 Where I was serious, she took it as race shit talking. 

 Couldn’t believe this, but I was actually having… fun. 

 Fun. 

 Fuck, that’s another word that feels weird to say. 

 It’s the truth, though. And it’s all because of Y/N. 

 Kind of wish the kid was here with us, but I haven’t grown balls big enough to tell him I’m with his reading teacher. Seeing how my mood is with  her, if I had him here, too, I knew I would be the cheesiest motherfucker in the world. 

 “Toji, be honest,” she starts, dragging me from my thoughts. “Do you actually ever win your bets?”

 “Fuck no.” And something about my answer had Y/N bursting into a fit of laughter. “Damn, didn’t know me losing money was that funny to you.” I acted like I was offended, but she knows I wasn’t. 

 “Because the driver we're rooting for is losing, baby.” 

 I shrugged. “Nothing wrong with an underdog.”

 “It is when you’re not profiting off the underdog in question,” she argues.

 “Fair point.”

 She sighs before standing up. “All this yelling has me needing the restroom, and I’m hungry. I’ll be right back.” She gets up, purposely stopping to where her ass levels with my face, and I know the exact shit she’s trying to pull. 

 “Okay, Y/N,” I simply say. 

 She giggles. “You want anything, babe?”

 I shook my head, but pulled out cash to give to Y/N before slapping her ass, earning a yelp and pervert, from her while watching her walk away. 

 Definitely fucking her when we get back home. 

 This day couldn’t get any better. From the bullshit at work to this contract Kong finally got me to sign weeks ago, I didn’t realize how much I needed a day of me and Y/N. 

 Seeing how our conversations have been lately, she probably knew something was up with me, which technically, there is. 

 Just haven’t had the chance to tell her. 

 Don’t know if I will.  

 I mean, how exactly do I fucking bring up my family possibly had something to do with my wife’s death, and I’m taking a contract to find out more? Not happening. 

 Can’t have her thinking I’m full of shit and been lying to her the entire time. Can’t risk Y/N freaking out and potentially calling the cops. Can’t risk…

 Losing her. 

 It’ll be a cold day in hell before I let that happen. Yeah, I talk down on myself and say how much I don’t deserve Y/N. But I’m a selfish son of a bitch. 

 Even when I know I shouldn’t have something (or in this case, someone) I’ll take it anyway. That’s just who I am. 

 A buzzing sound in my pocket gets on my fucking nerves and several missed calls and text messages from Kong. 

 

And besides, I didn’t feel the damn vibration until now. 

“What the…”  

 Here’s here. Here’s here. 

 Here’s here. Here’s here.

 Here’s here. Here’s here.

 I waste no time speed dialing Kong and maneuvering out the crowd to somewhere I can what the fuck is he talking about. 

 “Finally—”

 “Speak,” I cut him off after he answered the phone. “Now.” 

 “I’m at the bar near the condo I’m renting and some geezer comes up to me and tells me to give you his regards,” Kong explains. “I’m wondering who the fuck is he. Then, I realized he reminds me of someone. You, Fushiguro.”

 This has to  be some kind of sick twisted joke. 

 The kind I don’t find fucking funny. 

 Twenty years. I have seen that bastard in over twenty years, and somehow he reappears in the city I came to start a new life in. Of all places. 

 The first person that comes to mind is that Zen’in brat that was adamant about having to do shit when that family, and now all of a sudden my old man is fucking here. That little shit is his eyes. I knew I couldn’t trust that motherfucker for a reason. 

 Pissed isn’t even the word to describe how I feel. I’m furious. My blood burns with rage and at this moment, if anyone even looks at me wrong, I’ll bash their face in picturing my old man. 

 You unlovable child. 

 Your mother should’ve aborted you. 

 Go in the street and die. Like I care. 

 You’re useless. You’re useless. You’re useless. You’re useless. You’re useless. You’re useless. You’re useless. You’re useless. You’re useless. You’re useless. You’re— 

 “Fushiguro!” Kong yells. “Are you fucking listening?”

 No. 

 And it’s not like I can right now. 

 “Text me what you said. I have to go.” I hang up and throw my phone back in my pocket. I need to go. Now. I need to find—

 “Y/N.” 

 Shit, my head was so far up my ass, I forgot she went to the bathroom and concession stand. 

 I peek over to find our empty seats, leaving me to believe Y/N hasn’t come back yet. So my next move was to rush near the restrooms, asking different women who’s coming out did they see a beautiful, dark skin woman with the additional description I gave them.

 Some answered no, and others were too busy ogling like I would a fuck about their attention. 

 The concession stands were next, and it’s not helping that there’s damn near hundreds of them on this floor alone. 

 I know Y/N is fine. Probably just waiting in line to buy food. It’s just… I can’t be here right now. My lungs have grown tighter and it’s been harder to breathe since Kong told me about my old man being here. 

 I’m forty-two. It’s been a little over two decades. Shouldn’t be triggered by this shit anymore. I’ve forgotten. I don’t care. But that little weak boy inside of me is dripping out and reminding me that I’m still… not okay. 

 Maybe ‘cuz I’m worried about everything going good in my life now turning to complete shit the minute a Zen’in shows up around me. Specifically those two drunk fucks—my old man and his brother. 

 Y/N, where are you? 

 I’ve passed at least six concession stands already and still haven’t found her. Dammit, she probably got lost. I know this is her first time at a Formula One race, so she—

 Don’t fuck with me. 

 Don’t fuck with me. 

 Anger blurs my vision when I look across to see Y/N and my fucking old man—talking. Talking like they’re old friends. 

 My strides are long and hard while pushing through the crowd, not caring about the glares, scoffs, or complaints from the people I’m pushing out my way. All I care about is getting to Y/N and getting her the hell away from my old man. 

 As I close in on them, I’m able to hear their conversation. 

 “Are you single by chance? I have a son that you would be fantastic with,” he says. 

 She nervously giggles, but not in the way she usually does… she’s uncomfortable. “Oh, uhm, no. I have a boyfriend—”

 “Y/N!” I shout, causing her to turn around and look at me. The moment we lock eyes, relief floods her expression, confirming my observation of her being uncomfortable. 

 “Toji—” I pull her behind me to level with my father and grab him by his suit collar.

 Of course he’s the same coward as before because the moment I snatched him up, three fuckers dressed in black ran toward us to protect him, but he held his hand up to stop them in their tracks. 

 “What the fuck are you doing here?” I asked through gritted teeth. I’m itching to kill him, and had it not been for us being in public or Y/N, no questions would’ve been asked.

 “My dear son. Is this how you greet your father after twenty years?” The mockery and condescending tone is his voice makes me want to rip out his fucking throat. “Also, I see you lack manners as usual. Did you not see me talking to this beautiful young woman?”

 “You have shit to talk about with her.”

 His brows raised in realization. “Overprotective over a woman? Is this your significant partner?”

 “Y–”

 “No,” I answered, cutting her off and instantly regretting it. I don’t need to look at Y/N to know confusion fills her face. “Answer my fucking question.”

 “Just making friendly conversation, is all. Am I not allowed to do that?”

 “I-”

 “Fushiguro,” Y/N interrupts. She catches me off guard by using my last name, but I guess it’s only fair since I denied she was my girlfriend. “Let’s go.”

 The silent plea in her eyes makes me wish I never allowed this piece shit to pull a reaction out of me. ‘Cuz by the looks of it, Y/N is scared… and it’s all because of me. 

 You’re worthless. Don’t ever come near this estate again. 

 These damn thoughts in my head will do everything in their power to skin me alive. I’ll just ignore them… like I always do. 

 Last thing I want, which she probably already does now, is to regret being mine. So I took her hand, ignored that fucker and his condescending voice, and rushed through the crowd again to get the hell out of here. 

 “Toji,” Y/N calls me, sounding worried. “Toji, wait. Was that your—”

 “Old man.” 

 My fucking old man. 

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#anime x black!reader #anime x reader #toji x reader #toji fushigro x reader #toji x black reader #toji fushiguro x black reader #jjk x reader #jjk x black reader #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x black reader #toji angst #jjk angst

[sequinsmile-x]

Words of Affirmation

Their childhoods were different, but the outcome had been the same. They both found it hard to talk about how they felt, to put into words the affection they had for each other, but they were learning together, and tt was something she was looking forward to doing for the rest of her life. 

Two moments in which Aaron and Emily are able to find the right words to express how they feel about each other.

Part of the Love Languages series

-x-

Hi friends!

Here is the penultimate fic in this little series of unrelated one shots. I really hope you like it - just pure fluff/these idiots pining over each other.

Please let me know what you think <3

-x-

Words: 2.8k

Warnings: None!

Read over on Ao3, or below the cut

Aaron sighs contentedly as he steps into his apartment, the warmth of his home sinking into his bones as he closes the door behind him, locking out the rest of the world.

He slips off his jacket and hangs it up, rolling his shoulders as he does so, an ache he couldn’t quite shift settling in between them after a long day. He’d had to stay behind after Emily and the rest of the team, budget reports and a meeting with Strauss he couldn’t avoid keeping him late in the office. There was a time when he wouldn’t have thought much about it, used to working later and starting earlier than everyone else, but these days he hated it, every second he was away from home when he didn’t need to be an eternity. 

Emily had sent him a few texts after she’d left, including a selfie of her and Jack snuggled together in the little boy’s twin bed. He’d saved the photo, the picture of his son fast asleep against his girlfriend's side, Jack’s favourite book open and resting against her chest. Emily’s love for his son, her willingness to step into a maternal role in his life, made Aaron love her even more, affection for her constantly threatening to bubble over and spill out of him. 

He had never been very good at expressing how he felt in words. It was a hangover of his childhood, an unfortunate side effect of the stifling environment he’d grown up in. A house where violence and silence ruled, any verbal sign of affection something considered a weakness. He had always preferred to show his love through action. Acts of service that let said ‘I love you’ even when he couldn’t. His affection clear in cups of coffee and home cooked meals. 

He’d always done his best, first with Haley and now with Emily. He had learnt from his mistakes with Haley, and he said ‘I love you’ as often as he could to his girlfriend, the words rolling off his tongue with ease. A chaser after their morning kiss or pressed against her hairline as she fell asleep against him. It was easier than it used to be, but it still didn’t feel like enough. 

It didn’t feel like there were enough words to express how he felt for Emily. His love for her so overwhelming at times he couldn’t believe that they were together, that after everything he’d been through, all the loss he’d endured, he was lucky enough to be with her. She understood him in ways other people had never been able to. Their histories, the experiences they’d both had that could have left them dead, brought them closer together. 

The first time they’d kissed, her lips delicate against his after he dropped her home after their first date, it felt like coming home. The space in his chest that had been hollowed out when he’d buried her, when he’d saved his life by killing her, suddenly full. Love for her so overwhelming he’d had to stop himself from telling her right there outside her apartment, the confession seeming far too early. 

Ten months down the line they were already living together, her things mixed in amongst his and Jack’s in the apartment that used just to be theirs. She was such a part of their life, so integral, that he couldn’t remember life without her. 

As he kicks his shoes off he hears her footsteps in the hallway and he can’t help it when a smile spreads across his face at the sight of her. She’d taken up her make-up since she’d been in the office and her hair was now in a messy bun on top of her head. She was wearing one of his shirts, a pair of his socks and some leggings. She looked impossibly beautiful like this, domestic and soft and his.

“Hi sweetheart,” he says as he walks towards her, his arms automatically wrapping around her waist, his lips gentle against hers as he pulls her into a hug.

“Hi honey,” she replies, only pulling back enough from him to speak. She wraps her arms around his shoulders, one of her hands scratching his scalp, her smile soft as he shudders, “How was Stauss?” 

He groans and kisses her one more time before he turns her in his arms and starts to walk them towards the kitchen, his chest pressed against his back as they go. “Exactly like you’d expect.” 

She chuckles as he grumbles, her hand on his cheek as she pats it sympathetically, turning her head to kiss his jawline, “My poor baby,” she says, “Did you eat?” 

“No,” he replies, blowing out a slow breath, “I’ll just make something…” he drifts off as he spots take-out containers from his favourite Chinese restaurant on the counter, a bottle of his preferred beer next to it, the cap already taken off. He smiles as he turns to look at her, a satisfied look spreading across her face, “What’s all this?” 

She shrugs as if it’s nothing, as if this token of her love for him didn’t mean the world, and she wraps her arm around him again, her cheek pressed against his shoulder as she replies, “I knew you’d had a rough day. So I ordered in your favourite.” 

“You don’t even like that place.”

She presses her lips together as she looks up at him, her cheeks slightly pink in embarrassment, “But you love it,” she says, her hand on his cheek as she drags him into a kiss, “And,” she starts, pulling away from him to grab him a plate, passing it to him before she watches him start to open the take-out boxes, “Dinner isn’t the only trick I’ve got up my sleeve to cheer you up.” 

He raises his eyebrow at her, amusement bursting in his chest at the way she was smiling at him, “Oh really?” 

“Really,” she replies, winking at him, “I happen to be wearing your favourite bra under this shirt.” 

He isn’t sure why that does it, why her attempt to make him smile after a long day is what tips him over the edge, but it does. He finds himself staring at her, love burning him from the inside out as he puts down the plate he is holding, closing the small gap between them as he pulls her in for a kiss, his hands on her cheeks as he holds her in place. He captures her surprised gasp, the taste of it on his tongue as she grasps at the back of his shirt, sinking into the affection he always gave her so freely. 

She looks a little dazed when he pulls back, her tongue peeking out to lick her lower lip, chasing the taste of him on it, “Not that I’m complaining,” she says slightly breathlessly, her head tilted in curiosity as she looks at him, “But what was that for?” 

He smiles and pulls her in closer, not caring about the cooling food or the beer going warm next to him, his only focus on the woman in his arms. The woman he was lucky to love and be loved by her in return,”

“I’m so lucky to have you,” he says, his hand on her cheek as he smiles at her, “You make everything better.” 

A small chuckle escapes her, the sound a little wet as it catches in her throat, the unexpected declaration forcing her to press her lips together, her eyes shiny as she looks up at him. She reaches up and pushes her fingers through his hair, smiling softly as it flops back down over his forehead. 

She stamps her lips against his before she presses their foreheads together, standing on her tiptoes as he holds her so tightly he thinks he might lift her from the floor, “You make everything better for me too.” 

___

Emily groans as she sits on the couch, her body relaxing into it immediately, her limbs heavy as she settles down. She narrows her eyes when she hears him chuckle and she turns her head to look at him, a smile she can’t fight spreading across her face when their eyes meet. 

“What are you laughing at?” She grumbles, immediately throwing her legs over his lap as he settles on the couch next to her, a shiver running through her when he rests his hand on her thigh, his palm warm and heavy on her skin, “My feet are killing me.”

He hums and delicately runs his hands down her legs, the calluses on his skin making her shiver again, a small smile on his face as he chases the goosebumps, “You’re the one who wore high heels, sweetheart.” 

“Yeah, because my mother would have accepted anything less than stilettos tonight,” she says wryly, her sentence lost to a groan as he presses his thumbs into the middle of her right foot, easing away the tension her shoes had created throughout the evening, “God you’re good at that.” 

He chuckles as he continues massaging her foot, the sensation making her eyes drift shut, “At least you know your future husband is good at foot massages.” 

She opens her eyes and winks at him, “Well, why do you think I agreed to marry you.” 

He’d proposed a month ago. It was their first night in their new home, the house they’d bought using her trust fund, and they’d been sitting on the living room floor - the couch they were currently sitting on not yet delivered. It had been a long, tiring, day of moving, and after eating pizza with Jack and settling him into bed they’d sat on the floor together, looking around the place they knew they’d call home for the rest of their lives. She’d been leaning against him, her head on his shoulder, when he’d asked, the ring box seemingly appearing out of nowhere as he quietly asked her if she’d be his wife. 

She hadn’t even had to think about it, the yes she’d all but yelled at him escaping before he’d even finished the question. 

He laughs as he moves on to her other foot, “Nice to know why you keep me around,” he turns serious as he looks up at her, the tension her mother never failed to cause her still lingering in her shoulders, “It wasn’t that bad tonight.” 

She smiles and nods, knowing that he was right. Her mother had insisted on throwing her an engagement party the moment she told her that Aaron had proposed. She’d suggested it before she’d even said congratulations, already listing off people they could invite before she thought to tell her daughter that she was happy for her. 

It had been a fun night. The team had been there and she’d been able to mostly live in a bubble with them and Aaron, a party within a party that her mother would eventually force her out of. She’d had a nice time, a celebration of her love for Aaron made better by him being right by her side and endless champagne she knew her mother would have spared no expense on. But she couldn’t help but think about how this wasn’t the end of it, how she knew their wedding would end up being more of the same, and she hated it. 

“I know,” she says, shifting closer so she’s sitting in his lap, her side against his chest as he gathers her to him, “I had fun,” she links their fingers together, unable to stop smiling at the sight of her ring, “I just…”

She drifts off, not sure how to put it into words without sounding selfish or spoiled. When she’d thought about getting married when she was younger, she’d always pictured it as a grand affair. Not because it was what she would want, but because she knew it was what was expected. A big dress and flowers that smelled like piss but were beautiful, but now she was here she knew she wanted something different. 

Her love for Aaron overrode everything else, including her desire to placate her mother by giving into her demands with little to no fight. Emily loved him more than she ever thought she could love someone, and she wanted their wedding to be about nothing other than that. 

“You don’t want the wedding to be more of the same.” 

She pulls back and looks at him, her eyebrows creased as he finishes his sentence for her, and, not for the first time, she found herself in awe over how well he knew her. How well he loved her. There were times, especially early on in their relationship, when she’d struggled with it. Feeling nothing short of inadequate, sure that she’d never be able to make him feel as loved as he made her feel. She’d never been good at it, never been taught how to show someone that you love them, and she felt like she was making it up as she went along.

Until him, she wasn’t sure she’d ever said that she loved a partner and truly meant it. She’d said it, the words automatic when someone said them to her, a response she didn’t ever think about as they’d smile back at her. It was only when Aaron said it to her the first time, his smile nervous in a way she didn’t know he was capable of, when she realised how much she loved him too, the words feeling different than they ever had before as she said them back to him. The words never seemed to be enough, never felt like they came close to letting him know just how much he meant to her, but she never knew what else to say. 

On some level, she knew he faced the same struggle. Their childhoods were different, but the outcome had been the same. They both found it hard to talk about how they felt, to put into words the affection they had for each other, but they were learning together, and tt was something she was looking forward to doing for the rest of her life. 

She smiles and nods at him, her hand on his neck as she traces his jawline with her thumb, her love for him so overwhelming she feels tears pressing at the back of her eyes.

“You’re my best friend, do you know that?” She says, the statement surprising her as much as it does him, “I don’t know if I’ve ever told you that. But you are.” 

It felt strangely simple given how long she’d been looking for the right thing to say to him, but she knows it was true. He was the person she trusted most in the world, not just with her life but with her heart too, and she knew she did the same for him. If she believed in soulmates, that there was one perfect person for everyone, that they were fated and they weren’t here because of how hard they’d fought for themselves and each other, she’d think he was hers. 

He smiles widely at her and she can’t help herself when she presses her thumb into his dimple, pulling him in for a quick kiss.

“Don’t tell Dave,” he jokes, stamping another kiss against her lips, “But you’re my best friend too.” 

She beams at him and then rests her head against his shoulder, content to relax against him, to settle into the love that permeated every inch of their home, “Your secret is safe with me.”

They fall into contented silence, the only sound the rasp of the material of her dress against his fingers as he rubs his hand back and forth up and down her side. 

“Em?” He says eventually, his voice soft, quiet so he doesn’t disturb the peace that had surrounded them. She hums in response, her eyes drifting shut as his words rumble from his chest into hers, “Why don’t we just elope?” 

She pulls back from him so quickly she knows she would have slipped from his lap if he wasn’t holding onto her as tightly as he was. She looks at him, desperately looking for a sign that he was joking, not wanting to get her hopes up in case he was, “Are you serious?” 

He nods, “I don’t need anything other than you and Jack,” he says, adoration seeping out of every pore, “I’d marry you anywhere.” 

She shakes her head at him as she chokes on a laugh and she nods as she leans in, her lips fierce against his as she cups the back of his head, holding him in place, her breath skipping across his face. 

“That’s the best thing anyone has ever said to me.” 

-x-

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