#I did this like a week ago but since the viewing period is ending and I'm about to post screenshots of these charas I was like

[late-night-vocaloid]

I saw a few people saying they didn't recognize a lot of the vvv music characters and I think the reason is it's a very, very talkbank-heavy show!

A few characters are definitely new, but one reason why you might not recognize a large portion of them is that in the lineup, eight of them started out as talkbanks, seven only have a talkbank, and there's only one single character that doesn't have one.

If anyone's curious about who all these characters (talkbank or otherwise) are and how they may relate to characters you do know, I've made *unrolls paper* the promotional image into an extremely detailed infographic. The biggest icon is the engine they started out on, and the smaller ones are where they got banks after that.

Below the cut I break down the lineup, starting with Vocaloids and Vocaloid-related characters (+ UTAUS), then the singing characters from other engines (like SynthV), then the talkbank-only characters, telling you a bit about all of them.

[ID: The VVV Music Live promotional graphic—an image with all of the performing characters in boxes—with text and icons over it detailing who the characters are and which engines they’re on, turning it into an infographic.

A guide to the engines at the top reads as follows: A. Singing: 1. Vocaloid, 2. UTAU, 3. CeVIO + Voisona (branched out into talkbanks too), 4. SynthV. B. Talking: 1. Voiceroid. A few V3-V4 Vocaloids were given talkbanks on Voiceroid (Una), some lining up with their release (Yukari, Sora). You can hear Yukari talking in some older Vocaloid songs for this reason. Some Voiceroids went on to get singing banks on Vocaloid (Zunko, Akari), and some eventually got singing banks on SynthV (Maki, the Kotonohas, Tsuina-chan). 2. A.I.VOICE. You may have recently seen Gumi and Zola Project get A.I.VOICE talkbanks. 3. Made Vocaloid Zunko’s pet human, gave SynthV Genbu and his friends talkbanks, introduced WhiteCUL. 4. VOICEPEAK. Various banks. C. Singing again: 1. NEUTRINO: Zunko’s sister, UTAU Kiritan, was their first bank. 2. CoeAvatar. See post. D. Morph: 1. Voidol, 2. Seiren Voice. Additional text reads “talk engines made specifically for one/a few vocal synths (like Gynoid Talk) are excluded.”

The characters are as follows: 1. Tohoku Itako. Started on UTAU. Also on Voiceroid, NEUTRINO, CeVIO, and Seiren Voice. Has a talkbank. 2. Zundamon. Pet form started on UTAU. Human form started on VOICEVOX. Also on NEUTRINO, Seiren Voice, and VOICEPEAK. Has a talkbank. 3. Tohoku Kiritan. Started on UTAU. Also on Voiceroid, NEUTRINO, and CeVIO. Has a talkbank. 4. Tohoku Zunko. Started on Voiceroid. Also on Vocaloid 3 and 4, Voidol, NEUTRINO, CeVIO, and VOICEPEAK. Started as a talkbank. Itako and Kiritan are Zunko’s sisters, and Zundamon is her pet. 5/6. Kotonoha Akane and Aoi. Started on Voiceroid. Also on SynthV, A.I.VOICE, Voidol, NEUTRINO, and Seiren Voice. Started as talkbanks. Akane and Aoi are sisters. 7. Iori Yuzuru. Started on Voiceroid. Also on A.I.VOICE and Seiren Voice. Currently talkbank only. 8. Kurita Maron. Only on A.I.VOICE. Currently talkbank only. 9. Jashin-chan. From the series Dropkick on My Devil! On VOICEPEAK. Currently talkbank only. 10. Haruno Sora. Started on Vocaloid 5 and Voiceroid. Also on SynthV. Has a talkbank. 11. Tsurumaki Maki. Started on Voiceroid. Also on SynthV and CeVIO. Started as a talkbank. 12. ONE. Only on CeVIO. Has a talkbank. 13. IA. Started on Vocaloid 3. Also on CeVIO. Has a talkbank. IA and ONE are sisters. 14. Kasukabe Tsumugi. Only on VOICEVOX. Cousion of Vtuber Kasukabe Tsukushi. Talkbank only. 15. Kamui Gakupo. Started on Vocaloid 2. Also on Vocaloid 3 and 4. No talkbank. 16. Otomachi Una. Started on Vocaloid 4. Also on Vocaloid 6, Voiceroid, and Voidol. Has a talkbank. 17. Gumi. Started on Vocaloid 2. Also on Vocaloid 3, 4, and 6, Voidol, and A.I.VOICE. Gakupo, Una, and Gumi are Internet Co. Vocaloids. 18. Sato Sasara. Started on CeVIO. Also on Voisona. Has a talkbank. 19. Suzuki Tsudumi. Only on CeVIO. Started as a talkbank. Sasara and Tsudumi are friends. 20. Kyomachi Seika. Started on Voiceroid. Also on SynthV. Started as a talkbank. 21. Tsuina-chan. Started on Voiceroid. Also on SynthV. Started as a talkbank. 22. Hasuki Nemu. Only on CoeAvatar. Talkbank only. 23. Namine Ritsu. Started on UTAU. Also on DeepVocal, VOICEVOX, ACE Studio, and various other talk programs. Has a talkbank. 24. Hanakuma Chifuyu. Only on SynthV and CeVIO. Has a talkbank. 25. Koharu Rikka. Only on SynthV and CeVIO. Has a talkbank. 26. Natsuki Karin. Only on SynthV and CeVIO. Has a talkbank. Chifuyu, Rikka, and Karin are friends. 27. Flower. Started on Vocaloid 3. Also on Vocaloid 4 and CeVIO. Has a talkbank. 28. Kizuna Akari. Started on Voiceroid. Also on Vocaloid 4, Voidol, CeVIO, A.I.VOICE, Seiren Voice, and Voisona. 29. Yuzuki Yukari. Started on Vocaloid 3 and Voiceroid. Also on Vocaloid 4, Voidol, CeVIO, A.I.VOICE, Seiren Voice, and Voisona. Akari and Yukari are Vocalomakets’ Vocaloids. Yukari is the moon and Akari is the stars. 30. WhiteCUL. Only on VOICEVOX. Talkbank only. 31. ROSA. Only on CeVIO. Talkbank only. WhiteCUL and ROSA are Vocaloid CUL’s sisters. End ID.]

On Voiceroid and CeVIO engines

You'll see that several synths here are from Voiceroid, which is a pretty old talkbank engine. If you're interested in Voiceroid characters like Yukari and Akari, Maki, Akane and Aoi, and others, producer GYARI was making iconic and comedic songs with them before they got songbanks, and I'd definitely recommend you check them out. A couple CeVIO related notes, several characters here have the CeVIO logo by them because they have CeVIO talkbanks, not necessarily singing banks, and Voisona is CeVIO's new engine. Onto the character explanations!

Vocaloids and Vocaloid-related characters / UTAUS

Vocaloid: Zunko. Originally created to promote disaster relief in the Tōhoku region, she's since gotten Voiceroid (talking) and Vocaloid (singing) banks, as well as a 24-minute animated movie. She has a Zunda mochi (green soybean rice cake) motif.

Itako and Kiritan are Zunko's sisters, introduced as UTAUs with newer voicebanks on Neutrino. Itako dreams of restoring her power of the nine-tailed fox, and Kiritan is a gamer.

Zundamon is Zunko's pet. They recently gave them a human form and a Neutrino voicebank, as well as multiple talkbanks.

Vocaloid: Sora. One of the only V5-introduced characters. Made a good impression by having a design where she looks like a pirate as well as a pretty, flowy one. Released with a Voiceroid talkbank.

Vocaloid: IA. Started out as a Vocaloid and was later released on multiple CeVIO engines. The CeVIO Vocaloid.

ONE (pronounced oh-neh, like how IA is ee-uh) is IA's sister. She's only on CeVIO engines.

Vocaloids: Gakupo, Gumi, Una. You probably know at least Gakupo and Gumi. Una, just because she's a little more recent, is a younger, eel-themed Vocaloid from the same company as the others (Internet Co.). She also got a Voiceroid bank.

Vocaloid: flower. Famous, androgynous. Got two Vocaloid banks before recently getting one on Cevio AI.

Vocaloid: Yukari. Moon rabbit theme and lots of voicebanks. A handful of famous songs, like There's Supposed to Be a Cheat Code for Happiness and Chururira・Chururira・Daddadda! Did some talking in a few older songs because she was a decently popular Vocaloid with a Voiceroid talkbank.

Akari is Vocalomakets's other Vocaloid, with a starlight theme. She also has a Voiceroid talkbank.

Vocaloid: CUL. She isn't part of the lineup, but she has sisters who are, so I'm covering her. Another Internet Co. Vocaloid, CUL started out as the mascot for the show VOCALO Revolution, which aired interviews with Vocaloid developers and producers, and showcased PVs. Videos featuring CUL used VY1's voice before she debuted as a Vocaloid herself.

ROSA and WhiteCUL are CUL's sisters. CUL was revealed to have several sisters, each named a variation of "CUL," except for ROSA. So far, only these two have designs and banks, and currently, they only have talkbanks, although ROSA is planned to get a SynthV voicebank.

You likely know Ritsu, a VIPPERloid UTAU, who went on to get voicebanks on DeepVocal and ACE Studio, as well as several talkbanks.

SynthV characters

Tsuina-chan is an ogre hunter. She started out on Voiceroid and eventually got a voicebank on SynthV.

Seika is the district mascot for Seika, Kyoto, Japan. She was a Voiceroid who later got a SynthV voicebank.

Rikka, Chifuyu, and Karin are three high school students in a music club. Rikka's character is up to interpretation, while Chifuyu plays drums, takes photos with an old camera, and dislikes sweetness, and Karin plays bass, likes archery and cute things, and dislikes matcha. All three have CeVIO talkbanks.

Akane and Aoi are twin Voiceroid talk vocals who went on to get SynthV voicebanks.

Maki is another Voiceroid vocal who got a SynthV bank. Like Kiyoteru, she also has a band comprised of characters that don't sing.

CeVIO singing characters

Sato and Tsudumi are friends who don't have a lot of interests in common. Sato started out with song and talk banks, whereas Tsudumi started out talk-only and got a songbank later on.

Talkbank only characters

Yuzuru is described as "kind and gentle, but rumored to be scary when angered," and "maybe not human." He started out on Voiceroid.

Maron's appearance is based chestnuts and autumn themes. He's currently only on A.I.VOICE.

Jashin-chan is from the series Dropkick on My Devil! She's currently only on VOICEPEAK.

Tsumugi is the cousin of Vtuber Kasukabe Tsukushi. She's only on VOICEVOX.

Nemu, and the engine her talkbank is on, CoeAvatar, have heavy NFT involvement.

#I did this like a week ago but since the viewing period is ending and I'm about to post screenshots of these charas I was like #oh yeah I should post this first #vocaloid #voiceroid #cevio #utau #synthv #a.i.voice #voicevox #voicepeak #neutrino #if you read all this: that's wild. thanks #if you just looked at the chart: thank you it wouldn't leave my brain until I made it #thoughts

[harrysonlylover]

Carolina (Part 1)

Summary: Her return to town sparks his interest, why hasn’t he seen her before? And does starting off on the wrong foot hide their attraction to each other?

Trope: Cowboy! H

Word count: 10.3k

Warnings: mentions of alcohol consumption.

The west coast.

A place that citizens fawn over and pay their life savings to visit, some even manage the tiredness of flights and its jet lag just to see a glamorized land that is actually worthless.

She asks herself the same question everyday: “ How did I end up here?”. And every day she comes up with a new answer. For a while she was able to blame the whole planet and the Milky Way but later, she swallowed the hard truth and accepted that her fate was nothing but an influence.

Today she chooses to not think about , it is time to go home and despite it being a short period, she has learned to savor it in a memory that she revisits every morning and night.

The road is half empty as her feet rest against the dashboard, she can feel the northern wind pulling her in ,the farther they get away from Washington.

Oh, what a feeling.

Her friend Maggy is driving, allowing her to enjoy the leisure of doing nothing but enjoying the view as they pass through towns then back to Highways.

According to her all roads will eventually lead home.

Home is a farfetched idea for where they are heading, she isn’t exactly visiting her land, but anyplace in the North is home. Wide fields that stretch for acres of land, the friendly faces that can make a stranger find their roots, the animals that become family members, the fresh air and hard-working citizens that know each other since childhood.

There are many things that she can say about the North but afraid of never stopping she closes her eyes and raises the volume of the radio allowing ‘Edge of Seventeen’ by Stevie Nicks to play loudly.

She heads every month or two to Maggy’s hometown Great Falls in Montana, they have been best friends ever since they can remember. Maggy’s father is an old family friend and despite there being a long distance between the two states but they never missed visiting each other.

When she suggested studying at a university in Washington, Maggy’s jaw dropped to the floor, no one expected her to take that decision. But to be fair neither did she, yet what was she supposed to do when she had a fear of never doing something in her life or being stuck in one place.

Everyone spoke of the west coast’s glory, she had to see it herself, at least she wouldn’t regret any decisions later on.That was two years ago, now she dreads every class and every day spent in Washington. Give her a horse to ride, or a goat to care for, perhaps a dog to play with. Some beer while watching the sunset and sitting on the freshly mown grass, her family preparing dinner while her father and uncle quarrel on who makes the best gravy.

She has a week to spend in Montana before returning to Washington, she will learn to hold on to it before getting her BA in Fine Arts and fleeing away from that godforsaken place.

She wishes she can visit her homeland but it would be a waste of time as her entire family follows her up to Montana whenever she is there, they bring home to her, what else can she ask for?

“Home sweet home baby!” Maggy cheers as her car steps into the town’s entrance.

It is almost 4 in the afternoon but the day is still long, no hour is gone to waste in the North. She quickly puts on her brown leather cowboy boots and urges Maggy to stop the car.

“Where are you going, they’re waiting for us!”

“You go using your car, I’d rather walk all the way.” She gives Maggy no time to object before putting on her cowboy hat and running into the Lopez’s corn field.

Her hair is swaying with the wind, it is caressing her skin and cleansing any toxicity that she gained from living in an unpleasant place. She knows the field well after all everyone here is like her neighbor. The sun is out and about, forming a thin layer of sweat on her uncovered skin.

A smile is stuck on her lips as she walks around nearing the end of the field, another walk would not be a good idea as it is dinner time but maybe she’ll return in the evening with Maggy.

She can see the house clearly and begins to head towards it before a sound catches her attention. It is a horse’s hooves clicking against the ground, as far as she knows the Lopez’s do not have any horses.

The corns are tall and high and she is unable to spot it, what if he’s alone or worse.. injured.

She has no time to look, but she knows how to observe so she listens intently but it keeps getting nearer and nearer and nea-

“Hey girl watch out.” A man screams at her as a warning from the horse he’s riding.

He is late to alarm her but she is quick at ducking rapidly before the horse neighs and stands on his two hind legs, the man on its back holds on to him immediately avoiding a dangerous fall.

“Are you out of your mind?! You could have killed me.” She shouts at him as she stands up, removing some of the soil scattered against her skin. Luckily, she is intact but the edge of a fallen leave did graze her skin.

“Well I’m not the one strolling around in a corn field when I know it’s the easier route for workers to take. With horses might I add!” He stepped off the horse, caressing him gently as he scolded the foolish girl in front of him.

“Oh I’m sorry, how about I check your schedule next time?” She answers in a sarcastic tone at the man who she has never seen before.

Would it be bad to ogle a stranger that almost killed her?

He is wearing a cowboy hat just like her but it’s black instead, paired with his leather boots and low waist denims. She is trying really hard to recognize him but her memory fails her. He is shirtless and his skin is covered in tattoos, his abs are toned and are shining under the Northern sun that reflects the thin layer of sweat over a butterfly tattoo. His jeans are not enough to cover his V line or the tattoos peaking from his hips.

His biceps flex with every stretched movement he makes to pet the horse, his entire arms are also filled with tattoos. She is astonished to see a tatted cowboy, but hey there’s a first for everything.

“Oh you think you’re funny girl. Would ya be laughing right now if you were dead?” His northern accent isn’t very thick, but it is enough to show his anger. He was about to check if she is okay physically before she snapped at him and acted almighty.

“Seriously since when do you ride horses in an open field just to take an easier route, when you know that someone might be passing by.” Her tone is making him more furious by the second along with not recognizing her.

“Do not get sassy with me girl, it’s what we agreed on with the acceptance of field owners, even the cows know that.” He scoffed proudly getting back on his horse and fixing his cowboy hat. The black stallion seems to have calmed down a bit and is ready to be on the move.

“Don’t go around trying to get yourself killed, I don’t have all day to watch clumsy girls.” He tipped his cowboy hat and sped off on his horse in the direction he came from.

She can feel herself boiling with anger, and her entire body is dirty from the soil and corn dust, her hair has leaves in it and her hat gained a mini hole. She doesn’t even know who the hell that guy is but she is sure of one thing and one thing only.

No one talks to her that way at home.

She managed to sneak from the back of the house and climb up to Maggy’s window using a ladder that’s always placed in their ranch. She knocked continuously until her freaked out friend opened with a shriek.

“Why are you using the window and what the hell happened to you?”. She helped her get inside and closed the window again.

“Maggy do you know a guy with tattoos?”

She did not care less if her friend is worried about her. She must know who he is.

“W-what? What are you talking about and why are you covered in soil!” Maggy grabbed a towel for her and sprinted to the bathroom to prepare her a bath.

“He’s like shirtless with a butterfly tattoo on his abs and he has a black stalli-“

“Harry Styles.”

“I was walking in the Lopez’s field and then he jumps up on me with his horse out of nowhere and when I shout at him, he acts all smug. Doesn’t even apologise! And apparently the fields are a short route now!” She rants furiously as she paces around the room, aggressively getting a change of clothes and her shampoo from her duffle bag.

Maggy finally calms down after panicking about her friend, now she holds back a laughter fit knowing how Harry is. “First of all I told you about that decision but you were too busy watching The Office and Harry is nice, he’s my childhood friend.”

“Nice is a huge misunderstanding. He thinks he’s so cool, at least offer a sorry?! And he implied that I’m dumb.” Her body relaxes immediately in the ice-cold tub and the Pumpkin bath bomb melts quickly taking away her problems as well.

“Yeah well that’s Harry but once you get to know him he’s really sweet.” Maggy props up her change of clothes nearby and gives her another bath bomb.

“Plus if he’s your childhood friend how come I don’t know him? He didn’t recognize me too.” It is evident that she will not let it go, she hates unexplained situations and the whole ordeal will probably stay on her mind for a while.

“He left before you and I met, it’s quite funny now that I think about it, they were in Tennessee and visited rarely, they came back a while ago. The Styles’ are not to be messed with.”

“I really couldn’t care less, you should’ve seen the way he looked at me. That man is a dick.” She was scrubbing away the soil from her body with a local made loofah. The sun was beginning to set, and the view from the bathroom window facing the tub helped her nerves to calm down.

“Babe, let’s see what’s up later yeah? I’m starving.” It was as if the family knew of Maggy’s suggestion. The two girls overheard the bickering from downstairs about the mashed potatoes and gravy.

She loves home a lot.

The dining table was filled with homemade meals that feel like heaven after long months of Cafeteria lunches. The bath put her at ease and the pumpkin scent lingered around her skin, bringing home closer to her. Maggy’s father and grandmother hugged her tightly like their own as they welcomed her presence in their house.

Soon enough the obnoxious man faded from her mind and she found herself surrounded with loving people that make her heart burst.

“Literally we kept chasing him for a whole hour, I wouldn’t have been surprised if we reached Carolina!” Teddy, Maggy’s brother was telling the story of when his horse escaped and worried everyone.

“Ugh it’d be a shame if he reached Carolina, I would have had to come down there and bring him myself!” She joked, making everyone let out a laughter fit.

“As if you never returned for sillier excuses before.” Teddy replied making her shrug her shoulders like an innocent girl.

“But to be fair, we couldn’t have gotten him without The Styles’ help.” She dropped her spoon at Teddy’s remark and suddenly the gravy was no longer delightful.

“The Styles’ huh? How come I don’t know about them.” She ignored Maggy’s leg bump and continued to question everyone, despite them being clueless.

“Well I’m surprised you don’t. They own half of Montana and Tennessee.” Maggy’s father answered her between mouthfuls of Turkey.

“Harry Styles was the one who helped me get back Ray. He’s the State’s most famous bachelor and cowboy. He kept chasing Ray and reached him before us, then risked his life by standing in front of him but somehow, he managed to tame him. He’s a very talented man.” Teddy gave her a brief rundown on Harry and the more she learns about him the more she gets irritated.

“Oh how I love that cheeky boy.” Maggy’s grandmother mumbled as everyone around the table agreed.

And he’s loved by everyone. Isn’t it just great?

As the sun began to set, she found herself sitting near the barn with a bottle of beer in her hand, the scarlet colour of the sky reflected in her eyes as she fixed her sight on the burning clouds, even the baby goat in her lap was gazing upwards in awe, the shadow of the sun casted an orange paint against her skin. Just the same as the pumpkin bath bomb melting in the bath tub.

Maggy joined her with an enthusiastic smile, that told her all she needs to know. “I’m guessing Tim invited you for a drink?” She smirked at her friend before taking a sip from her beer.

“Invited us, so C’mon missy get dressed, everyone will be there. Time to get some threads loose.” Tim was Maggy’s crush, and she can tell it goes both ways. His family owns the town’s bar so whenever she’s around, her friend drags her there and honestly it’s not so bad.

“Only if you give me the hat you got from Missoula, that asshole ruined mine.” Her hand caressed the baby goat on her lap that is now dozing off to sleep.

“Oh my god, you are unbelievable. Fine whatever get dressed now.” Maggy groaned at her friend’s cheekiness as she knows that she’s after that hat.

“Oh what would I do without you!” She shouted to Maggy who was heading inside the house, her cheek got a bit sore from smiling and she gently wrapped the lamb in her arms, placing him inside before sipping the last drop from her bottle, thinking about what suits that amazing hat.

The Miller’s bar was packed just the right amount for her, she was able to spot friends and neighbours, familiar faces that put her at ease as she greets Tim. The smell of Whisky was lingering in the air, and the choice of songs was tasteful. She did not need guidance nor Maggy’s company, maybe she would’ve if they were back in Washington, but it is different here.

She got another beer bottle and conversed with an old friend as she stood in a corner, it could be just her tipsy mind or her confidence, but she can see how the girl is eyeing her up and down in a seductive way, and she knows exactly why.

She wore beige shorts that suit her tan and give her booty some acknowledgment along with her favourite white tank top that sits above a lace bralette, holding her cleavage perfectly. Her collarbone was prominent, and she smelled of pumpkins. Perhaps the hat is playing a role as well.

She decided to make a move after the girl got dangerously close but instead a commotion nearby interrupted the moment, she groaned internally knowing that Tim has kindly asked of her to keep her eyes around even though nothing ever happens, but isn’t it just her luck?

The sounds were coming from the other side of the bar where the Miller’s installed an electric bull machine as a monument, but what they didn’t expect is the town’s infatuation with it and their constant use of it. Some even had contests with bets and money involved, all was harmless of course and she hoped that is the case now as she headed there.

A group was gathered in front of the machine, and laughter was echoing around the room. She gently passed between them expecting a worst-case scenario and was instead met with the worst person.

The same man who embarrassed her in the field today and posed a risk to her physical safety was in front of her in all his glory, he was still in the same attire and shirtless, but he seems to have washed up and spent some time getting himself tipsy.

There doesn’t seem to be a contest but somehow he got everyone to gather around him and fix their attention on him. He was riding the bull at the highest speed, something that only real professionals can do, he is not completely conscious as well, no one is at a night in Montana.

His system seemed to work well as he acted the same way a non-tipsy man would. His ring clad hands were not holding on to the rope provided by the machine, instead his thin waist moved around along with the thrust of his hips as he stretched his arms wide as an affirmation and demand for the group to cheer.

Only insane people would not hold on to safety ropes at a high speed, but after her encounter with him, she’s not so sure she’ll ever consider him as sane. No one even acknowledged her presence despite being the princess of the town, not a glance in her direction.

His head was thrown back as he urged on the cheering more, his fingers were flexing in demand to raise the tone higher with a sly smirk on his face. One of the girls in the crowd threw a cowboy hat at him that he caught and placed smoothly on his head.

His continuous rutting against the machine, and hips’ roll allowed a boner to appear, and everyone cheered for him even more, his jeans tightened around his thighs due to the amount of weight and pressure he’s placing on his legs in order to balance.

He spotted her in the crowd, and she could’ve sworn that his smirk got bigger, he winked at her the first time, and when she crossed her arms over her chest with an angry expression on her face, he pointed at her and shouted.

“Hey clumsy girl, you should be careful from this bull coming alive and walking over you.” He was making an effort to speak, his voice overpowered by the music made a vein appear in his neck as he shouted loudly.

Despite no one knowing what he means, they laughed thinking it was some sort of joke which made her even angrier, she did not care anymore if the machine was on high speed or if it will actually come to life, she made her way near it and cut off its source of power.

He stumbled forward due to the sudden stop, and everyone murmured and went silent. He was caught off guard with her act, yet he raised his fist up in the air as his way of controlling the cheering that resumed.

He stepped off the bull smoothly and strolled in her direction, and she could see how tall he is, the cowboy hat was still on his head, with some of his curls peaking from beneath it.

“An eye for an eye girl? Fair. I’ll go find another riding activity.” He winked for the second time in a night, and the longer he stands in front of her the more she feels her blood boil.

“Yeah? I’m guessing you have a kink for throwing people off the bed.” She smirked back at him grabbing a new beer bottle.

“Only if they beg for it.” He leaned in and whispered in her ear, taking the bottle from her and having a long sip down his throat, before placing it back in her hand and walking away with a lazy stroll.

This is going to be a long week for her.

The field work waits for no one, ranchers are up from dawn ready for another day consisting of herding, saddling up the horses, checking on machinery, filling up hay wagons along with countless tasks that are no obstacle against Montana’s mighty cowboys.

There are days where the temperature rises rapidly bringing with it an unbearable heat, the same heat that distinguishes these beloved towns from other parts of the country.

She awoke with a fuzzy brain, having no energy to be angry or employ any type of emotion, today her parents would arrive and not being concentrated is the last thing she wants to be.

A simple breakfast skillet made her feel full and got her mind off things she doesn’t want to think about. She’s glad to have brought her sketching kit with her, so she tip toed around Maggy’s bedroom and fetched what she needed before heading out to the ranch.

The sunrise was a scene that she loved to sketch, a never old drawing that she will stack along with the other sunrise paintings she’s done before. And so she begins mixing all the colours varying from scarlet, fiery red, orange, golden yellow, baby blue, and a subtle white that only the delicate eye can catch.

She can’t tell for how long she sat down in front of her sketch; it could’ve been hours or an eternity, but what’s important is that she managed to lose herself in her art like she always did.

Teddy surprised her from behind making her yelp and clutch her hand at her chest, the young boy fell into a laughter fit as she gently pushed him around for scaring her.

“Can you pretty please help us?” He asked of her after calming down and wiping his tears that resulted from his intense laughter.

“You don’t deserve my help for what you did but maybe you can ask”. She rolled her eyes at him in a dramatic way sending a sly smile that tells him about her payback for his prank soon.

“It’s your vacation, so nothing serious. Take Ray and patrol the field, we’ve been experiencing burglars’ shit from out of town. They’ll just escape if they saw someone out there.” She nodded and packed up her kit, giving it to Teddy who was making funny faces at her.

She saddled up Ray and prepared a basket to pick some fresh onions and potatoes, she had planted them herself the last time she was here, and she believes it is time to see how pretty they have become.

The cowboy hat she ‘stole’ from Maggy is shielding her from the scorching heat that she does not mind. She’s a northern girl after all. On the way she hums a melody her mother used to sing for her back when she was a kid, it soothes her and has become another one of her distraction methods.

Ray appeared to be calm and she began to wonder what idiot Teddy did to let him escape a while ago, but if she thinks about it a bit more, her mind will take her to the man who rescued Ray so she begins humming again.

The field is quiet with no companion but the whistle of the wind, the torment of the sun and the steady soil beneath her. Her task is pretty easy compared to what she has done before so she continues patrolling, occasionally patting Ray’s back who seems to be enjoying their little walk.

She closes her eyes for a moment and allows the northern wind to consume her as she breathes in the scent of home coming from Carolina.

Harry had his head tipped back and eyes set towards the blue sky, it was an attempt at easing his hangover that he now regrets deeply. He is a responsible man, never late for work, and never reckless in matters related to his cowboy life outside of entertainment. He was by no means allowed to taint his family name.

What he did yesterday was nothing but some fun after a working day, his friends had lured him inside that bar when he knew damn well that he should be at home preparing for the day he is about to endure.

He loved a drink or two occasionally, but he loved the crowd and attention even more. Harry Styles is a sucker for the praise and acknowledgment of his neighbours, as well as tourists and strangers that he’ll never see again.

Speaking of strangers, her face has been stuck in his mind ever since he laid his eyes upon her soil covered body after their little incident. She felt like a force, making his way into his daily life, with no intentions but to lay in his daydreams and he’s not so fond of the idea.

Seeing her at the bar may have sobered him a bit, that pout on her lips and the dangerous anger reeking off her gorgeous body. Her boldness and fierceness made him light up on fire, he is yet to know who she is, but he must find out soon.

He sighs and balances his feet against the ground then remembers that his work today is in Maggy’s family field. Yesterday the girl was heading towards their house, it’s a long shot but he pushes it to the front of his mind and begins working.

The Northern sun provides no mercy, it penetrates one’s skin, passing through the blood vessels to sicken and weaken the body. How cursed is the sun but how pretty it shines. The residents of Montana welcomed it like their own, but Harry Styles was a different story. It is not evident whether he challenges the sun or loves it, perhaps both.

His Greek God like physique stood proudly against the temperature, salty sweat trickling down his always half naked body. His blessing of muscled biceps contracting with every push of his shovel or grip to the rope. He walks gracefully with his manly hands placed on his bony hips, examining the towns’ fields, any work done would require the strong clenching of his thick abs that feel like stone when pressed on. If you are lucky you’ll observe his back muscles that call for you to touch on.

The sun does not take it easy on him, in fact it envies him for his good looks but when it paints him with sweat, it helps him appear prettier, more angelic, it aids him to be known as Montana’s best cowboy. After all even the sun isn’t immune to his charm.

He wiped the sweat that was already forming on his forehead and took a large gulp of water that trickled from the corners of his mouth down to his collarbone and toned midsection. He could see a figure from afar on a horse, and he rubbed his eyes to make sure it is not his hangover playing games on him.

It was that mysterious stranger.

She was on the back of a familiar horse, her figure perfectly shaped as she guided the horse around. She wore a plaid blue flannel with a tank top beneath it and skimpy shorts revealing her toned legs that dangled perfectly.

He was not ashamed to look at her, he knows for a fact how she ogled him yesterday and he wishes for it to happen again but for now he enjoys gazing at her intently.

She steps off the horse and takes off her shirt, allowing the pretty combination of her bony collarbone and strong arms to appear, the cowboy hat she has on shields her long shiny hair, and her shorts hold her curves in perfect ways that he might crawl to her for worshipping purposes.

She begins to pick a variety of vegetables as she kneels, and Harry could’ve sworn that the sun was reflecting golden rays on her perfect skin making an angelic light surround her figure. Her position had him in a chokehold, it showed her feminine beauty that he was a sucker for. With a certain bend, he was able to catch her lower back dimples that he would die for.

Harry considers himself to be a sensual person, he loves details about every human’s physique whether it be any form they have, he will delve into its beauty and savour it for his dreams that he visits often.

It didn’t take long for her to notice his presence, she was a clever girl after all, and if not for the familiarity of his face she might’ve mistaken him for an intruder.

It seems that luck is not on her side, as she dreads the sight of a man that appears in every corner she walks in. He was away from her by a good distance yet near enough to see his act.

His smirk was shameless as he lazily walked around preparing his kit for work. He was fixing the fence and she can point out some details that will make any man or woman go crazy.

He has his right leg bent upwards against the base of the fence, his cowboy hat is different and seems brand new, with every bang of his hammer she notes the contraction of his biceps and clenching of abs. His rear form is not something that she expected to stare at, but there she was, eyeing a man that is like a forbidden apple to her pride.

He suddenly takes off his hat and for the first time she notices his chocolate curls now drenched from moist and humidity, he tips his head backwards , allowing his Adam’s apple to show.

He then brings both of his arms together and stretches them above his head, she can spot every outline of his muscles, almost feel their thickness, as the sun hugs his godly physique.

Veins along his neck and forearms become prominent with every flex he makes before picking up his hammer again and effortlessly fix the fence in a short period of time.

She managed to collect the vegetables she wanted but not without a quick subtle glance to him every moment, neither did he avoid gazing at her figure.

He dug an area of the field with his personal shovel, and she kept staring at him for a good amount of time before realising that she can watch him work all day in the field just to see the effect of his hard labour on his athletic body.

Who knew a hammer and a shovel can play with one’s hormones.

A shout nearby and the rush of hooves in the field alarmed both of them, he immediately jogged to check out the source, but she appeared to be rather unbothered, happy even.

She mindlessly ran towards a man on a horse before catching up to him as he quickly stepped off and lifted her up in the air. Harry suddenly stopped in his tracks realising that there is no threat at all, and it is only a relative of hers.

But upon another glance, he squinted his eyes and fixed his hands on his hips with an attempt at recognising the stranger. Memories came back to him abruptly, and the more he stared the more he got closer to revealing the mystery girl.

The man spotted Harry and waved, before shouting for him.

“Oi Styles! Come over here. How’s your old man.” The voice of the man brought him back to years ago as he suddenly realised why the girl’s features are familiar to him.

“A Carolina Princess, well I’ll be damned.” He whispered under his breath with a chuckle and passed his tongue on his teeth before approaching his father’s childhood friend.

Her laughter has exceeded the normal limit of a human being, she was above the clouds and on a different energy level than anyone around her. Her parents were home and that was all she needed.

She was sitting in the passenger seat next to her dad who was driving and telling her all about her home. She doesn’t get to see them that often, she feels a piece of her getting restored as he fills her in on everything she has missed.

In her lap lies a bouquet of Blue Stars flowers picked from her garden back in her hometown. It is her favourite type of flowers, one that she adored ever since she was able to differentiate colours and count numbers.

Harry sits in the backseat of her father’s truck upon a heated insistence. For the first time in over a day, she managed to flee away from the web of tangled thoughts surrounding a green eyed cowboy, it didn’t matter if he was right behind her.

Now the roles were reversed and a web in his mind began to form.

He expected everything of her to be but the daughter of a family friend, her face was so familiar yet so far from his knowledge. Her father hugged him like he was his own, and asked of him to ride with them despite not having his work done.

He couldn’t say no, not when it means he can find out more about her, so he eagerly packed up his kit and situated himself behind her.

The enthusiasm on her face when she received the Blue Stars bouquet was priceless. She matched the energy of a little kid, an adorable innocence but deadly stubbornness.

His family left Montana when he was five, what he remembers is nothing but glimpses that he sometimes stretches in front of him for a hint of his past life that he didn’t savour enough.

He mapped his entire brain, recalled Maggy and her family, dinner nights and bull riding contests, barbeque Sundays and Fairs. But her? He remembered her father, and his friendships with the family, almost an unbreakable bond. But no matter how hard he searched, he couldn’t catch a blue star.

Instead of his keenness on going back, he focuses on the present moment and he’s pretty sure he looks like an idiot or a creep even as his eyes never once leave her figure.

Her head was angled towards her dad who was chatting her all the way, she has a dimple on her right cheek that only appeared if she laughed hard. Her hand cups her mouth whenever her laughter gets too loud, and she doesn’t seem to mind the tears that come with it.

He has never seen someone so infatuated with flowers, her eyes lit up like she was offered the whole world, and she kept asking if the bouquet was from Carolina, smiling even more upon the confirmation.

If for a moment the conversation gets lost, she fixates on the road ahead of her and sways left to right gently with the song on the radio that she has never heard of.

He was praying for her father to not question him so that he can sneakily continue studying her in every way. But after checking on his daughter, Harry assumed that he’d talk to him.

“Son, hope we are not ignoring you there. How’s your pops?” Her father spoke as he looked to Harry through the mirror.

His jaw twitched upon her frown and face drop when the spotlight turned to him, she seems to have remembered his existence and for once in his life Harry wanted to be invisible.

“He’s doing great but he misses your contest nights.” He put on a daring smile and restored his charming demeanour.

“Oh boy he better be ready for me then.” Her dad chuckled and began speaking of old times as Harry hummed back to not appear disrespectful, but in fact his green orbs were set on hers that glared back at him through the car side mirror.

Her father and his greeted each other like little kids, it was evident that their bond was strong, and she was gazing in awe at their relationship. On the road, she wiped Harry’s existence so she can delight in her father’s arrival.

No one was able to notice that something was wrong, but they do know that she and Harry are strangers, so what they thought were doing to introduce them to each other was in reality her worst nightmare.

“Hey son, forget about the fence I have a hay delivery from Mr.Lanny , why don’t you pick it up with the lovely girl?” Harry’s father Luke pointed at her, as her own father Eddie agreed with a shrug.

“Go with him sweetie and have fun, I know you like road trips. Mr.Lanny has cats too. When you come back your mother will be here.” Her father kissed her temple and guided her to the truck.

She swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded before hesitantly getting in the passenger seat. Harry’s cologne filled the truck as he entered, and she hoped this ride won’t cause her a headache. She was not in the mood for his cheekiness and high ego.

“Hold on Blue Star, or the truck will make you fall out the window.” He grinned at her as he turned on the ignition making the engine roar.

“Shove your jokes up your ass.” She gritted through her teeth as she looked forward. ‘Your nicely shaped ass’ she thought. He turned on KISS’s music and drove off in a rush as she tried to ignore the way his hands look on the steering wheel.

It was no wonder that she loved road trips, she felt as if they rejuvenate her soul whether it be with the company of the night breeze or the day’s sun.

But hard was her attempt to hide the discomfort oozing from her body, not when he was sitting next to her. What she didn’t know as well is that the place they’re headed to is 45 minutes away, so that’s a hour and a half in the car with the unfathomable Harry Styles.

“You’re too quiet Carolina.” He rasped making her shiver at his deep voice.

“Carolina?” she inquired, feeling quite irritated at the idea of him knowing things about her as simple as her hometown.

“I reckoned you didn’t like clumsy girl so Carolina it is. “He fiddled with a key chain that dangled smoothly between his fingers, hitting his cross tattoo.

“Do you like the cross tattoo on my hand? Some have considered it a necklace bef-“

“Can you stop being annoying for one second. The world does not revolve around you.” She groaned and closed her eyes before pinching the bridge of her nose.

“Actually when I was born the stars-

“Bloody boots I mean it.” She shouted at him and that only made him smirk more as he lifted his hands up in the air like an innocent man.

He chuckled softly before changing the song to ‘Uptown Girl’ by Billy Joel and pulling the window down fully, he continued to spread his legs with one hand mindlessly placed against the steering wheel while the other one was resting on his cowboy hat.

She tried to have subtle glances on details to enjoy. His hat had a ‘Styles’ embroidered on its front and a cross necklace was dangling against his pumped tatted chest. For once in her life she was attracted physically to someone that made her blood boil.

“What brought you here?” He tried to start a conversation knowing that he can’t fathom her silence, he wanted to see her lips move.

“I have a week off from university and it’s a necessity for me to come.” She answers formally with her gaze set on the road.

“Why not Carolina then?” He drums his fingers on the steering wheel as he watches her intently.

“It’s farther than here so that’s two days less from my vacation, besides Maggy is here and all of my family in Carolina comes down to see me.” She ties her hair feeling irritated from it pricking her eyes and he can’t take his sight off her as she styles it into a ponytail.

He can see how she left her plaid flannel in the field as well as the basket and Ray that Teddy will come after. She is left in a tight tank top that is showing her perfect cleavage.

“And you? I heard that you’re from Tennessee.” She caught him off guard as he wasn’t expecting her to actually make small talk with him and thankfully his eyes had shifted from her gorgeous form.

“True I am. We have family business here; I stalled and had some fun in Tennessee before moving here a while ago.” She was now looking at him and not the road and he felt like he scored a victory.

“What are you studying Blue Star?” He kept inquiring as they both tried to not stare at each other.

“Fine Arts in Washington, I love drawing and painting, and you Montana?” Her energy shifted to match his playfulness and he felt like he was back in the game.

“Well well Carolina, we’re both in the art field. I occasionally teach Music at Montana’s elementary and I sing for fun in some events.” He reached a turn and controlled the steering wheel with the edge of his right palm making her unconsciously clench her thighs, as this exact move is her weak spot.

“Maybe I’ll listen to you sometime if you’re not sitting on my nerves.”

“Ehhh, teasing is like my second job.” He mumbled before sending her a wink and holding eye contact with her.

“I have no idea how everyone loves you in this town.”

“Stare a bit more and you’ll figure it out.” He made a devilish grin as she gazed at his face, specially at his emerald irises that change colour upon the contact with the scarlet sun that’s setting.

Little does he know that she’s been trying to find this exact shade of green ever since she began her degree and now under the Montana sun, the company of Billy Joel and an intriguing man she found her inspiration.

“You need to be humbled Harry.” She laughed letting her arm dangle from the window as the wind allowed her to catch a whiff of his tobacco vanilla cologne, and she tried not to squirm around in the seat.

“Have a shot at it Carolina Princess”. He reached his hand to move some of the fallen hair strands on her face, his hand felt so soft yet so cold from his giant rings.

“Now I better not hear your voice, let me enjoy the road.” She kicked her feet on the dashboard with no care if he minds or not, and placed her hat on her face to shield her from the scorching sun.

“What if you’ll have to shut me up.”

“By all means necessary Montana.”

He groaned lowly trying not to show his visible attraction to her, the sexual tension in the car was thick whether it be her ignoring the wetness pooling in her shorts or him who’s regulating his breath to avoid an embarrassing teenage boner.

Her father Eddie was right, Mr.Lanny does have cats. He greeted her with a handshake, immediately knowing who she was as she’s ‘a copy of her father’. She left Harry to do his business and had some playtime with the cats.

Although the kittens were adorable, she didn’t want to miss the chance of checking out the area, so she placed the little munchkins back in their crib and stepped out to the ranch.

What she saw wasn’t what she was expecting, but it was enough to take the sun’s role making her whole body heat up.

Harry was on the top of a stacked hay pyramid; he was already tall as it is but now he looks like a model agencies would fight for. If that was even possible, it seemed as if his abs became more prominent upon the torture of labour and the northern sun.

She swallowed down her throat and watched as he threw heavy stacks of hay in the back of his truck like they weighed nothing. His entire body flexed together in sync, from the veins in his neck, to the tightening in his thighs and from the contraction of his biceps to his back muscles that can be studied.

He pulled out a cloth from his pocket and wiped the sweat from his face with it. There were two options for her: either stare at him like a weirdo (she wouldn’t mind) or help him so they return home faster. So she fixed her hair into a bun and headed towards the hay pyramid.

The next 24 hours were a blur.

After Harry drove them back to town she immediately left his car without a goodbye as she ran to greet her mother, and stacks upon stacks of hay were waiting for him to be delivered.

He didn’t see her for the rest of the day but that didn’t stop her from visiting his dreams, the only place he can feel the delight of life in and now that she’s a character, he may never leave.

When he woke up in the morning he had prepared himself for an encounter with her, but when he moved around town with work all day and didn’t spot her he felt a certain kind of disappointment that made him anxious.

He even took a different route near Maggy’s field just for the odds of bumping into her and even that didn’t work out.

But would it change things for him if he knew that she was like a buzzing bee all day having not seen him?

It wasn’t until she entered the house that she realised how she abandoned him without a goodbye, she was too excited to see her mother that she disrespected his presence.

He seemed to have improved a little bit personality wise, although being full of himself was his entire job but he had some nice things as well. On the way back he insisted on buying her a sandwich with a soft drink, and he came back with a shirt having ‘Carolina Swag’ printed on it.

‘You can now walk around and let everyone know that you’re a Carolina Princess’. He chuckled as he took a long sip from his own drink.

“Now it’s only fair I get you something but I’m not sure anyone sells a ‘I’m a dick’ shirts”. She laughed at him with her legs dangling from the window.

”Ehhh just get me a ‘ Big dick is back in town’ shirt.”

Maggy’s whole house was buzzing with people; members of the family on both her and Maggy’s side as they prepared a huge lunch. But peeling potatoes or feeding the baby lambs seemed to be hard as her mind refused to let go of him, so much that she imagined her sketchbook whispering for her to draw him, his eyes, his body and everything that she saw.

She knew that Harry wasn’t invited to the lunch, she began having thoughts about going down to the bar in hopes of seeing him, but it seemed silly even for her.

Since when does she hang so much hope for a guy that does nothing but tease her.

Maggy could tell something was off, but she didn’t question anything nor the bar incident two days ago, but she knows her friend and knows Harry as well. She can tell how they fit like a piece of puzzle. It is said that opposites attract but both of them are ever changing like tides and Maggy knows well that each of their alterations are equal to the other.

A bonfire night in the North was a tradition that dates back to her grandfather’s generation, there are some things that have changed including her longing for the Carolina bonfires which she cannot attend now.

If you ask her she’d blush as she knows well that she isn’t invited, but how bad could her presence be?

She doesn’t consider herself to be an intruder, but she is not one to miss fun as well. Maggy has been talking her ear off non stop about it, and she thought why spend the night in when she can crash a party.

Technically she wasn’t being rude or disrespectful. Everyone knew everyone in town, she wonders who the party is for and if he is there. She’s been getting a continuous flow of thoughts about him.

What he does in a day when he isn’t working, how his nights are, the other side of his personality. Would he continue his playfulness with her or shift onto something else. She can feel her regret readying itself to come out if she doesn’t go. Better be safe than sorry.

She acted as if it was her first time going out, taking extra time in front of the mirror, attempting to apply some makeup despite having no expertise in it, and rummaging through everyone’s closets till she decided on a white sundress, slightly above her knees. Maggy let out a sigh and recreated a drama scene having restored her cowboy hat.

“My mom’s will look better since I have matching boots.” She mumbled as Maggy made victory dance moves as a form of an inside joke.

Even the whole family could see her enthusiasm that was a bit out of hand, usually she’d be happy to stay in and be cocooned in the cosiness of the northern home, playing with her cousins and telling stories.

She and Maggy agreed to go on foot, knowing that they may be tipsy on the way back. But they didn’t give it further thought, as the town is safe and secure day and night.

It wasn’t far as they can spot the fire, but to her surprise it was in Harry’s own field. She confidently made her way through the grass with Maggy behind her and she can see how everyone turned their heads upon her far figure that is slowly approaching.

“Good evening ladies and Gentlemen.” She smiled in a nonchalant way noticing Harry’s change of body language when she arrived.

She can spot a few familiar faces that she isn’t too close with but can recognise, a girl was sitting next to Harry and laying her body against him.

“Hello Carolina.” He winked at her and motioned to a seat facing him seeing as the ones next to him were occupied.

“And who exactly are you?” The girl next to him mocked as she became too self-aware of Harry’s plastered grin.

“Do I know you?” She replied with a friendly smile, making the girl frown and turn red.

“You’re seriously asking who Carolina is?” Harry replied to the girl without once looking at her. His gaze was set on the Carolina Princess, and the sight of fire reflecting on her bare legs.

He didn’t want to make a fool out of himself and invite her, what if she didn’t want to come and then he’d be disappointed. He considers his ego to be quite delicate but broad.

Seeing how she is here tells him all he needs to know, even If he met her once he can see how she’d prefer being with her family right now. So why come to a bonfire with no invitation.

She indulged herself in a conversation Maggy was having with an old friend, as Harry continued to entertain the girl sitting next to him who was now brushing herself against him on purpose.

He was not sure of what he was thinking, why did he want to make her jealous when she was right in front of him?

He whispered nothings in the girl’s ear, things he can say out loud, but every once in a while he got the attention he wanted and he smirked knowingly.

Except that his fun didn’t last long as a guy sat next to Carolina and began chatting her, it was now obvious to the companion next to him who stomped her foot and left with a huff.

Harry watched the guy intently, he knew him well and he knows how much of a nice guy he is, he’s just her type and Harry felt his jaw twitch at the thought. The beer bottle in his hand was now empty as he consumed it quickly.

He lazily walked over to her side making both hers and the guy’s head turn upward.

“Hey man can you give us a minute? I want to talk with her” Harry rasped as he looked down at her unbothered figure, allowing his eyes to linger a bit on her collarbone and neck.

“Sure yeah.” The guy got up with a nod and smile making Harry sigh as it was a confirmation that his intentions were friendly.

“Did you actually think I didn’t notice your little glances.” She smirked as Harry situated himself next to her.

“I was hoping you would actually.” He whispered in a deep voice as he got himself dangerously close to her.

“Yeah?” she grinned at him.

“Uh huh.”

The fire was reflecting on both of their faces, and he couldn’t give two fucks if it he was being obvious, he needed to stare. Needed.

The dress hugged her body perfectly and the lily odour was reeking off her heavily that he wanted to bury his face in her neck.

Her neck that is adorned by a flower necklace that he will later on recall how it was a blue star, when he dreams about her.

Her legs stretched in front of her, made him realise that he was about to ask her if she wants to lay them on him. But maybe that was too straightforward even for him.

“I see that your little friend left, I hope I was not a bother.”

“She did? I didn’t notice.” He lied as he looked around pretending to look for the girl.

She rolled her eyes and laughed before bending her forearms backwards against the wooden seat. They both know how dangerously close they are but thankfully everyone seems to be preoccupied.

He is not shirtless, she noticed that. He is wearing a white flannel with a leather jacket adorning his muscles in every right way.

“You don’t have a drink in your hand, why so?” He asked as he pointed for the box of random drinks.

“Not feeling it honestly.” Her position and the way her arms are stretched backwards made her cleavage more prominent and Harry was about to choke on his beer.

“You know, down on the west coast they got a sayin’ , if you’re not drinking then you’re not playing. You should know all about it.” He grinned at her trying to take in all of her expressions.

“Fuck the west coast.” She rolled her eyes in a dramatic way.

“Hmm why so? You’re studying there.” He inquired.

“I just do not belong to that area, i’m a Northern girl.” She shrugged cutting her answer short.

“I reckon that you’re not staying there after the graduation?” He was leading the conversation somewhere unknown, why does he care where she’ll live or what she’ll do?

“Definitely not. The last time I was in Carolina my Nana said that I better swim before I drown” she smiled covering her face from embarrassment.

The fire was crackling and the conversation of other people died around them as they delighted in each other’s company, and tiny secrets. She found out shocking things about Montana’s beloved boy and he the same , where her traits were taken in as perfection.

“She’s right, Carolina is like no other.” Any information he had on Carolina, was being pushed to the front of his brain. Anything to impress Blue Star.

“Yeah? What do you know about it? Actually it’s a bit far from Montana but you remind me of home.” Her smile was genuine and the corners of her mouth were stretching with every word. Her soft hair cascaded on her face and the despite the fire that’s lit next to them, shivers and goosebumps went through their bodies.

“I remind you of home?” He felt his heart flutter at her words even though he’s not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad one, but at least it means he’s been on her mind.

“Hmm I feel so far away and I can’t always visit, it’s frustrating. But you’re like that distant memory one goes back to for a hint of Nostalgia, it’s kind of hard to decode.” An expression of interest covered her face, as if she was explaining some sort of mathematical equation to him and not a complicated feeling.

“I do know that, your face feels distant yet familiar too.” He muttered then immediately continued rearing the end of their conversation.

“When my pops used to take me to Carolina, we’d stop by an ice cream shop, his name was Uncle Pe-“

“Uncle Peter?!” She cut him off in excitement and playfully gripped his bicep upon his confirmation.

He has never seen someone get excited this much for an ice cream shop, but again no one ever told him that he reminded them of home or made him feel like wanting to be attached to their hip all day long.

“There’s no way.. I- , that was like my childhood shop. I escaped classes in middle school once to spend an afternoon there and eat the Uncle Peter’s special flavour.” She had her hand on his as she excitedly told him about her childhood. Her laughter was echoing without a care to anyone around them.

“Was it the Vanilla strawberry cheesecake?!” Harry’s eyes gleamed with hope.

“Yes!!” They both held on to each other from the amount of laughing they let out.

“You know you’re such a –“ he stopped mid sentence with his rosy lips parted.

“A what Harry?” She whispered as she shamelessly stared at his mouth.

A true Blue star and I don’t want to sound like a creep but we would’ve met even if both of us didn’t return here at the same time.

“Nothing. Erm would you like a beer?” He cleared his throat and got up to grab a bottle.

“Yeah why not? For the west coast I guess.” She made herself more comfortable and kicked off her boots, trying not to think about what he was about to say.

“Sure for the shitty west coast.”

They stayed up till 1 in the morning, sharing tales on everything and nothing, she told him why the North means a lot to her and why she is studying in Washington, her first pony and that one time she got mad at Maggy and cut her hair.

He listened intently, and If he could write them down he would. He didn’t care if he had work in the morning or if his eyelids were betraying him, he must listen.

He told her about the family business, about Tennessee and his passion for music, how the kids at school love it. But he tried not to share a lot, not because he’s a closed book but to allow her to indulge in the moment.

Gaze at her lips as they move, get a whiff of her lily scent when she gets too close, notice her expressions as she tells different stories and which one means the most. Listen to to her angelic voice and try not to coo when she says his name.

Her soft skin that’s touching his made it hard for him to not imagine her back against his chest at night, touching him however and whenever she pleases, yes he would, he would surrender his body to her.

After all his own body is betraying him with the need for her touch.

“I think I’ll just head home, it’s late.” He noted the soft blush in her cheeks that he wanted to kiss.

“Okay I’ll give you a ride.” He didn’t give her time to object before getting up and fishing his truck’s keys from his pockets.

She followed him after letting her friend know where she’s headed and saw him waiting patiently in the car.

The road home took almost ten minutes, in which he playfully teased her grand entrance to the bonfire.

“It’s not like you minded my presence.” Her feet were yet again kicked up against the dashboard.

“Maybe, maybe not.” He let out a lie that none of them believed.

When they reached the front porch of her house, she straightened her posture and grabbed her purse from the backseat, he had his sight fixed on her as she thanked him and reached for the truck door.

“Hey Carolina?” she looked back at him before he gently reached for her chin, and brought it closer to his face, their breaths were heavy as they both had their eyes fixed on their lips.

His mouth hovered over hers, as his brain was already savouring the small details like the curve of her upper lip and her minted breath.

The front porch suddenly lit up with several lamps making both of them jolt backward in shock and confusion.

“Hey Styles , My boy!” her dad shouted and waved for Harry who was cursing himself for stalling the kiss.

He looked at her shocked figure who smiled almost immediately offering him a toothy grin, as she stepped out of the car sending him a flying kiss.

And for the first time, she winked before him.

——————————————————

Dividers from @firefly-graphics

A/n: Part 2 will be posted this week and it’s very very steamy…🥵🥴 Please send asks or comment to give me your opinion xx

Taglist: @prettythingsworld @slut4marvelmenn @fullofstyles @cherrycokeslay @wandas-lawyer @tbsloneely @theroosterswife24 @missmielyhoran @harryssideboob @harrysficreblog @sagcas-latte @itslottiehere @hsonlyangelxo @gem1712 @adachhi @tpwkkkkk @grapejuicebluesrry @summertime-pills @lhhrryismyhome @marzhshaim @harrystylessslut @keepdrivingkisses @rideeonstyles @swiftmendeshoran @matildasatellite @a-strange-familiar @cherryscinema @greivingfortheliving @babyyangel111 @victoria-styles @skysladylazarus

#harry styles fanfiction #harry styles smut #harry smut #harry styles oneshot #harry styles imagine #harry styles story #harry styles blurb #harry x reader #harry blurb #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry fanfiction #harry fanfic rec #harry fanfic #harry styles book #harry styles writing #harry styles drabble #harry styles boyfriend #cowboy harry #cowboyrry #cowboy!h #harry styles masterlist #harry styles fanfic recommendation #harry fic rec #harry fic #harry x y/n

[sugarbabey0]

Glamrock Bonnie x GN Reader

——————

Summary: You started at the PizzaPlex as a nighttime security guard weeks ago, and had yet to run into the infamous Glamrock Bonnie. When you finally do, he offers to bowl with (or technically against) you.

Little did he know you sucked at bowling. Bad.

Basically Bonnie teaches you to bowl after you pathetically embarrass yourself :D

Word Count: 2,637

———————

hi this is really self indulgent because i want more silly bonnie fics and there’s not enough for me. so i just wrote my own yippeeee

(this can also be found on my ao3 @/bonnieluvr05)

One last stop. One last place to check before you could reside in the security office with a large cup of coffee and some snacks for the rest of the night. Finally. Not that being the only human security guard-or just human, period- in the PizzaPlex was bad, it just got a little lonely. And once you got to the office, you could scroll mindlessly on your phone and occasionally check the cameras. Once you did a sweep of the whole plex, the rest of the night consisted of watching them to make sure no one snuck in. And nothing happened. Ever. It really just served as a time for you to catch up on shows or play games on your phone. And that, you didn’t mind one bit. Getting paid 20 dollars an hour to do basically nothing? Sounded like a plan.

The loud sounds of the Fazcade- that you could still somehow hear over your earbuds- faded as you walked towards your last stop for the night. You’d just so happened to leave your favorite place for last. Coincidence or not, you let out a relieved breath as the Bonnie Bowl logo came into view. Ever since you started here a few weeks ago, the vibe of the bowling alley seemed to be the one you were most drawn to. You’d never actually bowled here or met the infamous bunny mascot, but when you would do your routine sweeps, this place put you at the most ease. Maybe it was the nostalgia of bowling alleys since you hadn’t bowled since you were a child.

Avoiding the various security bots patrolling around, you came to a stop in front of the elevators to enter Bonnie Bowl. You pushed the button and waited before stepping in. Once it reached the top floor and the doors opened, you stepped in with perhaps a little too much enthusiasm. You couldn’t help it, you really did love the atmosphere of this place. And you got to relax after you were done.

You flicked on your flashlight and began checking the main lobby to make sure there was nothing unusual. As you scanned the area, you stalled on the rows upon rows of bowling balls of various colors and patterns. One on the far end caught your eye though. It was isolated, to begin with. Standing upon its own stand was a deep indigo ball with red stars of different sizes scattered among it. You kept half heartedly scanning the area with your light as you approached it. When you got to the ball, you reached your hand out to feel it, and you could tell by the rough exterior this was a well loved ball.

You were busy examining it when you heard a muffled voice. You froze. Who on earth was that? You didn’t think there was anyone when you scanned the area, but then again you were so excited to look at all the bowling balls that you did a half ass look around. The voice in your head began pulling far fetched scenarios out, making you hesitant to do anything. Surely if it was someone here to hurt you they’d have done it by now, not talked to you. You pulled an earbud out slowly, and kept your stare on the bowling ball in front of you.

“-you like?” The voice became clear after your hearing was back to normal, but you still were scared and confused. If it were a trespasser, they’d definitely not be talking. So, you turned around. And standing in front of you was none other than Glamrock Bonnie himself.

The animatronics were still something you were getting used to. You were never a fan of them as a child, as their blank stares and jerky movements always rubbed you the wrong way. But when you started working here, your whole perception of them was flipped. These animatronics were fluid, had expressive faces, and their ai made them feel oddly human. It was quite the opposite of the ones you’d known as a kid.

Bonnie was one you’d never even seen in person. You caught a glance of the main four of the band on stage finishing a show one night as you came in, and the daycare attendant personally sought you out and introduced himself to you on your first night. Once or twice you’d bumped into Freddy before he went off and did… whatever it was they did at night. But other than that, you tended to steer clear of them. They still freaked you out a little and you’d rather get your job done quickly.

You realized you’d been staring for a good while and cleared your throat awkwardly.

“Oh. Hello.” You said quietly. You felt a lot more relaxed after you saw it was just one of the animatronics, and not a murderer. Still a little uneasy, but not scared. You realized he said something earlier but you didn’t pick it up.

“What were you saying?” You asked, offering him a small smile. He stepped closer to you and pointed to the bowling ball you’d been examining.

“Said, see something you like?” His eyes gleamed with pride as he smiled and said, “That one’s mine.

Ah. That would explain it being isolated. You shrugged as you glanced back at the ball with a frown. “Was just trying to remember the last time I even bowled. It’s been a few years. I used to love it as a kid.”

When you looked back up, Bonnie was grinning instead of smiling. Wow, these animatronics sure were expressive. He gestured to the rows of bowling balls. “Pick one out and we’ll play right now.”

You stared at him. What? You started to fabricate a lie, because in all honesty you just wanted to get back and relax in the office. “I’d love to, but I have to get back to the security office so I can watch the cams,” You gave a small smile as an apology and began to walk towards the door, but a metallic hand on your shoulder stopped you.

“You’re passing up an offer to bowl with the Glamrock Bonnie. You sure? I don’t offer that often.” He said in a voice that seemed to be challenging you. Great, now you couldn’t say no.

With a sigh, you turned back around and looked him in the eye. “Okay, okay. But I can’t stay long, because I don’t wanna be fired. Maybe one round.” He seemed to perk up at this, and you noticed his ears stood a little taller. Cute.

You scanned the racks of balls and decided on a neon pink one. After you picked your bowling ball up and Bonnie grabbed his, the two of you headed for the lanes. He had a huge smile and kept looking back at you, almost like he was expecting you to be gone. But every time, you were still right there, and still lugging the heavy bowling ball you’d picked.

Once you got to the lanes, you both put your balls into a return machine. You looked at Bonnie, waiting for him to start.

“We’ll play one round and then see what time it is. How about that?” He offered as he typed his name into the screen. He looked at you, waiting for both your answer and to put your name in.

“Yeah, sounds good to me.” You answered as you walked over and typed in your name, noticing he set his as GLAMBON. You looked over at him and giggled, “Do people call you Bon often or did your name just not fit?”

Bonnie’s ears twitched and he shrugged. “Um, didn’t fit,” he mumbled, and you saw he was avoiding looking at you directly. “Should’ve just put Bonnie, Bon’s a stupid nickname anyways..”

You shrugged. You thought it was rather cute, and asked simply because of that. You didn’t say anything, though, as it seemed you already embarrassed him enough.

Bonnie waited for the screen to light up signaling it was ready and walked to the edge of the lane. He looked over his shoulder at you with a glint in his eye. He had his challenging tone back as he spoke, “Ready to get your butt kicked?”

You simply laughed, knowing fully that you probably wouldn’t even come close to his score. He practically lived and breathed bowling. He was the bowling animatronic! You watched as Bonnie threw the ball in one fluid motion, it rolling down the middle of the lane and hitting the pins. All 10 knocked over.

You were honestly impressed.

Bonnie turned around and dramatically bowed, opening one eye as he bent down to gauge your reaction. You dismissed him with a chuckle and picked your ball up, ready to be publicly humiliated. You got to the lane and glanced back at Bonnie.

“Don’t laugh,” was all you said as you pathetically rolled your ball down the lane. It veered to the left, and ended up in the gutter in seconds. You put your head in your hands, shaking it as you heard zero pins be knocked over. Just your dumb ball rolling into the back of the lane. And then you heard it get returned, and that’s when you finally lifted your head and began to turn around.

Your turn got cut short when Bonnie appeared directly behind you with your ball. “Here, I’ll show you how.”

You jumped at his sudden appearance and felt your ears turn red. You hoped him showing you was just him literally showing you and explaining. This was embarrassing enough that you sucked ass at bowling. Now he was gonna teach you how like you were a child. You grabbed the ball, turning back around as quickly as you could. Now you didn’t know what to expect.

What you really didn’t expect was for Bonnie to grab both of your forearms, his entire form engulfing yours as he stood behind you. This was weirdly personal and you could feel every movement Bonnie took. He guided your right arm up until it was bent at the elbow and the ball was right in front of you.

“You want to start here. Really lets you wind up to roll,” he said slowly, “Make sure you support the ball with your other hand.”

His voice vibrated his whole body, which in turn made yours rumble, too. He moved your other arm to support the ball, not that you needed it. He was supporting it all. You were pretty sure your face was bright red from a mix of embarrassment and some other emotion at this point, but you simply nodded as a way to let him know to move to the next step.

“Then,” he started as he moved your right arm back down, pulling you down as well, “you want to slightly bend over as you start to wind up.”

You tried as hard as you could to retain this information, but your mind was going a million miles per minute. You tried to knock some sense into yourself. He probably did this all the time with children, right? Kids suck at bowling, you suck at bowling. Easy solution. Nothing else going on, just his bowling and childcare programming kicking in.

“Okay, then do I just roll it?” You asked, looking back at him from over your shoulder. He laughed, shaking his head.

“Too impatient. You could, but then it won’t go where you want it to. You have to wind all the way back first,” he said, still speaking softly. He pulled away from you. “Stay crouched down, too.”

You mentally groaned at the loss of Bonnie behind you. It was oddly comforting. You listened to him and stayed in a lowered position, trying to remember how you got here. He finally let go of your arms and stepped to the side.

“Now put it all together and see how you do this time.”

You sighed, partly from the loss of Bonnie’s hold but also because you retained maybe two steps. Standing to your full height again, you ran back through the steps. You rolled the ball and it stayed in the middle, for the most part, and as it reached the pins all but three knocked over. You turned to Bonnie, a wide smile growing on your face. His expression matched yours as he started clapping.

“I did that! How did I do that?” You exclaimed, grabbing his arm and shaking him excitedly. Never in your life had you bowled that well. He let you celebrate and watched with a soft look in his eyes.

“See, I’m not the bowling mascot for nothing,” he shrugged, that challenging tone back. You realized he’d gotten vulnerable with you while showing you how to bowl, but quickly covered that side of him back up as soon as he’d shown it.

The two of you played a full round after that, you slowly improving. Even though you got no strikes, nor got close to Bonnie’s score, it still was enjoyable.

“Got my butt kicked, for sure..” you mumbled, staring at the screen in front of you. Bonnie chuckled and hesitated above the ‘play again’ button. He looked over to you for an answer.

You glanced at your watch, seeing that it was already 4 am. You were scheduled until 6, so technically you could stay…

“You don’t have to, if you don’t want to. Just glad you played one round with me,” Bonnie said quietly, cutting off your thoughts. You frowned at his saddened state, and shrugged.

“I could stay. It would just be your fault if someone broke in and trashed the place,” you laughed, reaching over and hitting the button before he could answer.

——

After the two of you played for longer than you probably should’ve, a beeping from your watch pulled you out of the game you had been in the middle of. You looked down and quickly realized it was the alarm to remind you to clock out and leave soon.

“Wow, it’s already 5:45. I’ve gotta go soon,” you said quietly, looking over as Bonnie came walking back from the lane. He frowned.

“Aww, really? The score was just starting to get close!” He exclaimed. You laughed in response.

“Yeah, I finally know how to play. Thank you,” you smiled, patting his arm. He beamed, dramatically bowing again.

“Oh yeah, forgot I taught you how to do all those cool tricks,” he grinned, standing back up and putting a hand on your shoulder. “Come back next shift, we’ll have to have a rematch.”

You felt your ears turn red hot and nodded. It made you smile knowing that Bonnie liked you enough to invite you to come back again to bowl. Then again, you wanted to come back anyways. You were probably going to drop by Bonnie Bowl more often on your shifts now, whether he invited you or not.

“Okay, gotta go for real now. I have to actually get the place ready for the openers,” you smiled, and gave Bonnie one last glance before starting to walk toward the elevators to leave. You got cut off when Bonnie grabbed your forearm. You turned around, cocking an eyebrow up in question.

He held his arms out, silently asking for a hug. You chuckled as you wrapped your arms around his mid section.

“See you tomorrow, Bon.”

You heard Bonnie’s internal fans kick on as the nickname left your mouth, and you let him let go of the hug first.

“Okay, get out of here before you make me actually overheat,” Bonnie said with a small laugh, patting your head and beginning to walk back towards the lanes.

You smiled and left, looking forward to your next shift for once in your life.

#glamrock bonnie #glamrock bonnie x reader #five nights at freddy's #fnaf security breach #fnaf x reader #security breach x reader

[red-riding-wood]

I’m so sorry about what happened to you and so many others. Disgusting misogynistic behavior. You all deserve so much better ):.

Also sending this bc I do believe he has made two new accounts. Drcranessweetestdoe and monsterfromthewoods. I have no proof these are him ,but it just strikes an absurd resemblance to his writing and he seemed to interact with both of them a few weeks ago. The first one hasn’t blogged in weeks either. Just seems strange. Once again though, I could be wrong. Just something for everyone to stay weary about. Stay safe ❤️

Thank you for the well wishes, anon! I really do appreciate you reaching out. <3

From my conversations with @drcranessweetestdoe, she does not behave like Kill (nor does her writing style compare to his), and I am pretty positive he is incapable (or at least very bad) at taking on different personalities since I believe I witnessed his attempt with the second account you mentioned. Aurora is very sweet, and she used to be a fan of Kill's writing and mine. I don't want people to be suspecting her of foul play because I do believe she is genuine. Kill has a pattern of reblogging fics as a way of seeing what victims he can latch onto and I see that as a coincidence with his reblog of Monster's.

As for @monsterfromthewoods... I was hesitant to make a callout, mainly because no one has actual solid proof that he is Kill. But, there is too much evidence for me to ignore, and I wanted to give my honest opinion and observations. Monster, if you are not this person, feel free to reach out and vouch for yourself, and if I am wrong, I am deeply sorry.

Fuck that. As I was typing this message up, I decided to check my DMs and noticed that my friend had said that he gave her the same name that, as of this morning, was revealed to me as his actual name along with his real picture and Facebook profile. That really sealed the deal for me. Here is the rest of my evidence to prove that this is "Kill":

Monster followed my friend around the same time that she blocked Kill.

Monster followed me the same day that I sent Kill a confrontational message, calling him out for his lies and pleading with him one last time for medical treatment and answers.

From the posts on Monster's account, and the one comment I know he made on my friend's post, his personality exactly fits Kill's. This is why I said I do not think he is capable or likely to be able to craft a believable persona.

Monster made a post about suicide, and a pro-Palestine post, the former of which Kill discussed with me a lot and the latter my friend pointed out as suspicious since Kill was also very strongly pro-Palestine. Seeing as Monster doesn't have that many posts yet on his blog, this isn't irrefutable evidence but it is very coincidental.

Lastly, I actually did my best to analyse and compare Kill and Monster's writing, since I had recalled a few things that stuck out to me when I read Kill's writing. Him and Monster share many similarities with their writing habits/consistencies. They are as follows (the examples listed are from 18+ content so please do not view if you are a minor):

Use periods and exclamation marks -- but never commas -- as punctuation to end dialogue tags.

Starter dialogue tag always facing outward. Like: ”So... Tight”

Tend to each use a snapshot style of writing, favouring incomplete sentences with frequent use of periods. Examples: K: "His mind, usually so sharp. Focused and organized like the most expensive machines. A killing machine, that worked in perpetual motion, living off killing, adrenaline used like a drug." M: "Your dear, understanding doctor. Doctor Jonathan Crane, who laughed out loud suddenly a couple moments ago. The dark colour covering his exotic looking eyes as he revealed his real nature to you."

Similarly, they both tend to avoid using possessive pronouns and determiners. Examples: K: "_ Pale, little pussy peaked from between her thighs." M: "The scars covering _ man's pale skin," _ = absence of "her, that, the," etc.

Often use adverbs after verbs in a way that feels out of place.

Capitalise after ellipses, always.

"Y/n" always has a lowercase "n".

Sometimes use three ellipses, often use only two.

Use "pants" but never "trousers".

Yeah, so, I may have spent way too much time on this. And I think most of this is redundant, now, especially after the name revelation, but still, I put work into it and didn't want it to go to complete waste lmao. I also had no idea until I was tagged today that apparently there are programs that do this sort of thing for you. Oops.

#asks #mrkdvidal1989 #worst con man I've ever seen

[chaosduckies]

Restoration (Chapter 7)

I was in a fluffy mood this time. So, enjoy some with Angela because she’s just a littol baby plus Nathan and Ryker acting like responsible parents.

Word Count: 5.2k

CW: None! (I think)

7-Nathan 

It’s been a chaotic week. Well, at least for me. I don’t know about anyone else. But it’s the end of the week again. Yesterday’s counseling was fine. We had mostly talked about how things between Ryker and I were. They were… awkward. To me. He always looks like he wants to talk to me about something, but never says anything to me besides “Hi,” and, “Hey,” when we’re at lunch and last period. Otherwise, I just kind of sit there trying to ignore the bad thoughts in the back of my mind. It never works. 

It was a cloudy day, sort of smelling like it was going to rain as soon as I stepped outside. The bus ride to school was just as loud as usual. When I walked into the halls, they were crowded just as always. So why did I feel like something was off? Oh well. When has something ever worked out in my favor anyways? Nothing new to me. 

Classes were the same. The rain had started, but only lasted for about an hour before the clouds were clearing up. Everything so far had been the same. I don’t know why I was so on edge, but I was always like that. 

Lunch was just as loud and crowded as always. But somehow, Lucky had always found me before I found him. Of course scaring me before he revealed that he was behind me the entire time. I was never going to get used to that, but it was a nice feeling for some weird reason. 

“Hey!” He greeted me, showing off a big smile as always while he guided me through the mass horde of people. I just did a tiny wave back. I’ve felt a little bit better since those counseling lessons had started, but I haven’t really felt the same either. Actually, Mr. Smith says that he might recommend me taking some medications, which I didn’t even know counsellors could do that but he says he’s licensed and able to do so. I wasn’t entirely too excited to see how many medications he’ll have me take. 

As the table we usually sit at came into view, I noticed that Ryker wasn’t even there. Instead, Dylan was sitting across from where Ryker usually sits, on his phone and biting right into an apple. I stood in place. I’ve only really met him once, and even then we had never talked. Just that Friday two weeks ago. It wasn’t really that bad, but I just don’t what to expect when being around him. Dylan loves teasing with Lucky, and I already know I could never handle anything like that. What if he tries anything with me? Where was Ryker anyways? Wait… just breathe. Don’t want to have a panic attack. 

“Right… Ryker is taking care of Angel and Isabelle. They’re both sick.” Lucky had explained, answering one of my questions. The other being why Dylan was here in the first place. He had never sat here this entire week. Nor any of the weeks before. So why now? I wasn’t going to get an answer. 

Lucky stayed beside me when the elevator gate had opened. We walked out, I surprisingly didn’t stumble like I always do, and I was now in full sight. That didn’t sit right with me. At all. 

Dylan placed his phone on the table, smiling when he caught sight of Lucky and I. I took a few steps back. Everything will be alright. Everything will be alright. Everything will be-

“Oh hey! It’s Nathan right? I’m Dylan, I’m sure you know that though.” He laughed before stretching out his finger and thumb like he was about to give a handshake… Oh wait. It was a handshake. Or a makeshift one at least. 

I looked over to Lucky, hoping he would give some sort of hint to Dylan. Instead, he just gave a nervous smile and held his hand slightly out to me. He was giving the hint to me. I mean, it’s like like I haven’t done this before. Just one other time with Mrs. Kay. It’s just… kids are different. I learned that the hard way. I’m not trying to say Dylan would be like that though! It’s just not out of the question. From what I’ve seen, Lucky hasn’t been hurt. Yet. But I have no idea how long he’s lived there. 

Taking deep breaths, I extended a shaky hand. I watched my hand disappear under the surprisingly soft grip, nearly wincing as I had expected to hear a loud pop! Noise only to find out that my wrist or some other part of my hand was broken. That fear didn’t last long though. Dylan let go, my hand still fully intact with the rest of my arm. I shuddered at the thought of having another broken hand. That was not fun. 

Lucky was facing me with a wide smile with two thumbs up. I felt accomplished, but at the same time I mentally kicked myself for ever thinking that one of Ryker’s siblings would have purposely hurt anyone. Even if they haven’t really met me. 

Dylan chuckled, taking another bite out of his apple then throwing it away in the trash can by the wall. I sucked in a shaky breath, wondering what I was even doing here. I just thought that Lucky would be sad if I didn’t come, but now that I think about it, he knows that I’m afraid of giants. Is this his way of helping me? 

“You’re quiet,” Dylan tilted his head in confusion, “Shy?” I bit the side of my cheek, blinking a couple of times before nodding my head. He must think I’m crazy. Absolutely crazy. There was no doubt about that. 

Dylan just flashed a soft smile before talking to Lucky. I sat down where I usually did. Just a little closer to Lucky since he was laughing and having the time of his life with Dylan. Who was the older one? I couldn’t tell. They were obviously really close though. I wasn’t entirely paying attention to their conversation, just some bits and pieces. Who has the answers for their algebra homework. Lucky complaining about making something for dinner. 

My phone went off while I was reading a book the school librarian recommended to me. During those two weeks the librarian always asked me why I stayed in the library. I just explained that I had nowhere better to be. Ever since then we’ve talked more and more. She says she’s read almost every book in this library since rarely anyone ever goes in there unless they needed to print something or watch a movie while playing board games in their free period. Otherwise, she had always recommended me books to read and she’d always have the mini pretzel bags while I helped her place books back on the shelves. It kind of felt peaceful. 

Checking my phone, I read a text message from my mom. 

Mom: Work called me in. I won’t be home until around nine in the morning 

Mom: Will you be fine on your own for the night? 

Me: yeah 

I would not. Just something about a quiet house without hearing the sounds of the tv playing an episode of The Golden Girls while my mom lay asleep on the couch? I honestly didn’t like the idea of being alone at night. It freaked me out. Is it stupid that I was afraid of the dark? Yes. Do I care? A little. Okay, a lot. But it’s not like I can help it. I’m so used to knowing that someone was in the house with me. Oh well. There’s a first time for everything. Plus, It’s embarrassing for someone to find out that I was afraid of the dark. Doesn’t really come as that big of a surprise coming from someone like me though. 

Mom: Okay 

Mom: I love you I’ll call you when I can 

I sighed, standing up and seeing that the bell was about to ring. I checked my phone for any other nonexistent messages, but I wasn’t able to get a good look before Lucky snatched up my phone and started typing something. Panic rose in me, thinking he was texting my mom. Now that would be awkward for me to explain to her. I tried stealing a couple looks, even reaching for my phone, but it was useless given the fact that Lucky was practically an entire head taller than me. 

“Andddd here you go.” Lucky handed me my phone back, a smirk on his face. I gave a questioning look before seeing that he added a new number. Ryker’s number. What? Why would he give me this? I already I annoy him enough at school, I’m not going to do that outside of school. It’d be wrong. Plus, he’s watching his younger siblings, I don’t want to bother him. 

The worst part about this was that Lucky had already taken the time to text him. Saying that this was Nathan. Aka me. Panic took over my mind. I wasn’t really mad at Lucky per se, more a little sad because he didn’t ask me first. I don’t think I could be mad at someone even if I tried. Still, I wish that he hadn’t texted him for me. I would have preferred not having his number at all if I’m being honest. Not because I don’t like him as a friend though! 

I looked over to Lucky with a nervous look on my face. He just laughed, “You’ll thank me later.” 

“Gave him Ry’s number?” Dylan held back a laugh behind his smirk. He stood up and held his palm out, waiting for Lucky to climb on. Was this some kind of plan of theirs? What if I didn’t want his number? I can’t exactly get rid of it since he already texted him… But maybe this could be a good thing? No. I don’t think so. Never mind. 

“Anyways, if you’re not too mad at me, we should probably get going.” Lucky pointed towards Dylan, and with seemingly no effort, climbed onto his hand, waiting to help me up. I was not expecting this in the slightest. Wait, no, he won’t do anything while Lucky’s with him, would he? It wouldn’t make any sense at all. I mean, they are brothers, right? 

After a couple seconds of going over the pros and cons and all of the endless negative outcomes, I just decided that I would go. Nothing could happen while we were at school, and there was no way that Dylan would ever do anything harmful while Lucky was with him. Right? That was my way of thinking. 

Lucky helped me up, flashing an excited smile. I guess his way of helping is actually working. Huh. Wasn’t expecting that. 

———Ryker———

Isabelle was stuck in her bed, too weak to pull the blankets off and stand on her own two feet without falling. Meanwhile, Angela was snuggled up in my palm with her new stuffed animal she’s named Livvy. They both had a fever. A bad one at that. It’s gone down since this morning, but it was still burning hot. I couldn’t really tell with Angela since I didn’t want to make her too uncomfortable, so I had no idea how she was doing. 

They both insisted on waking up and then heading back to sleep after I tucked them back in, making sure they couldn’t pull the blanket off too easily, even if they tried. How they even managed to get sick? I had no idea. But, they were the only ones who didn’t go to high school, so I kind of thought that other kids at their school were sick too. 

Me? I felt fine. Well, almost fine. This morning I was worried I might have to take them to the doctor, or that I might not have any medicine to help them out. Turns out I did, and Lucky, given his name, was lucky to find some in the back of their medicine cabinet and gave some to Angela. 

Now when everyone had left was a different thing. The night before they had me work later than before, so I barely had any sleep. Then, of course, I had to make Isabelle something to eat that I knew they wouldn’t throw up. Turns out it never worked in the end because she forced herself to go to the restroom and vomit, thankfully, in the toilet. Then there was Angela, who had a slightly less severe case, and I couldn’t make her anything to eat. It didn’t really seem like she was up to the task either, but still. 

They’ve been sick before, just never this bad. Maybe just a little cough or a slight fever, but otherwise they’ve been fine. It’s been hard taking care of them, but I didn’t mind. Just as long as they feel better in the morning. 

Isabelle was fast asleep after I gave her another small dose of medicine. She was doing a lot better now, but I was more worried about Angela. I can’t exactly give her any medicine because I don’t know if it’ll do more harm than good. So I’ve just been holding her tiny body in my palm for the entire. Mostly because she refuses to get off for some reason, and another because I wouldn’t be able to hear her if she woke up and needed something. 

I was laying down in the living room, the tv on a low volume rewatching a horror movie that was supposedly supposed to be scary. So far it was not. At least to me. Angela had been stirring in her sleep, trying to find a comfortable position for a solid five minutes. I knew she was going to wake up soon anyways, so I just lightly pulled the blanket off, pressing the back of my finger into her tiny frame. She was burning up. I guess it was a good thing I pulled the blanket off of her then. 

My heart fell seeing her curl up on herself looking so uncomfortable. There was nothing I could do though. School didn’t end for another hour and Angela hasn’t eaten anything since last nights dinner. Even then she didn’t eat much, saying that she didn’t feel too good. I probably should have seen this coming. 

I paused the movie for a little, waiting for Angela to wake up and ask for a blanket. She stirred, turned, and I finally saw her rub her eyes for what seemed like the hundredth time today. It’s been off and on. Again, nothing I could do about it except just let her rest. 

“Mmm… Ry?” She groaned, still holding her stuffed animal. I smiled softly, rubbing her back with the pad of my thumb. She slightly leaned into the touch eyes opening and closing, trying to stay awake. 

“Just go back to sleep, Angel. I’m right here.” I whispered, watching her snuggle up close and point to the human-sized blanket pinched between my thumb and finger. I didn’t want to give it to her. Her fever might just get worse like that. Dylan had texted me earlier to crush up an ice cube and wrap a tiny piece for her, but that wouldn’t work. 

“Aren’t you hot?” I frowned, seeing Angela shake her head and reach for the blanket in a futile attempt. I gave in, letting her wrap herself comfortably and snuggle closer to me. 

After a couple minutes, she was out cold once again. Didn’t matter when she was just going to wake up in an hour again. I unpaused the movie, and glanced to my phone. I grabbed it off the charger, seeing that I had an unknown number text me and a few from Lucky saying that he may have given Nathan my number. Of course he did. He brought the idea up last night after I came home from work. I only said no because what if Nathan didn’t want it? I mean, what if he wanted nothing to do with me. I’d understand if he didn’t, but then it’d be awkward just having it. 

I guess texting him wouldn’t be so bad though. As long as I don’t ruin it. 

———Nathan———

Last period was another free day. But Mrs. Kay says that she has another “project” she wants to try with us. I was not at all excited, but I just had to take this class for the next eight months and then I could go an do what I wanted… what did I want to do again? Didn’t matter. Still have eight months. I’ll be fine. 

As I sat at my desk aimlessly trying to pick a move to watch on my phone, there was a text. From Ryker. What did it say? Would it say not to text his number? That he doesn’t want to talk to me anymore than he already has to? That doesn’t really sound like him, actually. Why would I think that about someone? I bit the side of my cheek, opening the messages app and reading what he texted. 

Ryker: Hey! 

Ryker: I’m guessing Lucky gave you my number 

What do I text back? I’ve never really talked to him. I don’t want to say something stupid either. I can’t leave him on read. That’d be harsh. I groaned silently to myself, typing something out and immediately deleting it. Over, and over again. What do I say though? I ended up just typing something out and hoped he would say anything about it. 

Nathan: He did yeah lol 

Ryker: Of course he did 

He sent it along with an eye roll emoji. 

Ryker: It’s a good thing though 

So he does want to talk to me? I was so confused. 

Nathan: Yeah 

Ryker: Are things boring in last period without me? 

A smile took over my face. This was actually going pretty well considering I never text anyone but my mom. Or call anyone but her. A sad, sad life, I know. But it’s the story of my life. 

Nathan: Yup

Nathan: I heard your sisters were sick 

Ryker: Yeah I’m pretty sure they have the flu  

Nathan: Well I hope they get better :)

I’m pretty sure the conversation ended. That was short lived. Even in real life I can’t keep up a conversation for long. I either go silent or say something that ends it. Great, right? So I couldn’t even be on call until midnight because people lose interest in me fast. I’m surprised Ryker hasn’t yet. 

Ryker: They’re both asleep right now 

Ryker: If you wanna come over you can 

Ryker: I’ll just ask Lucky to take you or something 

Ryker: If you’re comfortable with it 

Going over to his house again? I mean I’m okay with it. It’s just that he’d have to hang around me while also taking care of both Angela and Isabelle. But maybe I could bring them some soup to make them feel better? It would be the right thing to do. I don’t want to go over there just to create more problems. But now that I think about it… why didn’t their parents take care of them? I feel like they can’t just keep Ryker away from school to watch his siblings. Don’t get me wrong I think it’s great that he does! But… they’ve never once mentioned anything about their parents, and I just feel like they should be taking care of their own children. It’s not my place to ask them though. I’m sure I’ll figure it out eventually. 

Nathan: Sure

Nathan: Is it okay if I grab something for Angela though

Nathan: Like soup or something? 

There was about ten minutes until the last bell of the day rang, and I would have to find Lucky before he just walked out of the school. I have no idea where they live, and there was no way I wanted to get lost on those terrifying streets. Especially with all of the riots lately. I just hope I can go home this time. 

Ryker: If you want 

Ryker: I’d really appreciate it 

Nathan: Will do then 

I sent it with a smiley face, hoping that he wouldn’t tell me anything otherwise. I’m sure my mom would be fine with me staying over for a couple hours. I doubt that they’ll have a movie night when their two youngest were bed-ridden. Or at least I think Ryker kept Isabelle in her bed. I don’t know how he’s been taking care of Angela… Maybe I could help out? Seems like a plan. 

Ryker: Tysm 

Ryker: I’ll tell Lucky to wait for you by the exit 

Ryker: Thank you, again 

He sent a smiley face back to me. My lips twisted into a small smile

Nathan: No problem 

——————

I was expecting for Lucky to be waiting for me. Not Dylan. But I guess it makes sense because they kind of live together. Duh. I’m so stupid sometimes… 

“You’re coming over!” Lucky excitedly announced, Dylan rolling his eyes and waiting for us to climb onto his palm. I bit the side of my cheek, thinking that we were going off of school grounds. Anything could happen. Does Dylan even like me? Probably not. Do I care? Yes. A lot. 

“U-Um… yeah,” I stole a glance to Dylan, who was texting someone, “S-sorry for making you b-b-both wait on m-me.” I whispered to Lucky while pointing to Dylan who wasn’t paying attention to either of us at the time. Lucky nodded his head, seeming to understand. 

“It’s all good. We’re stopping by the store first, right? We need groceries anyways.” Lucky had asked. I hesitantly nodded my head, letting Lucky lead the way as I followed. This was a familiar sight. I was getting to used to being around giants. Was that a good thing? I’d have to ask Mr. Smith about that later. 

About five minutes into walking, and watching in horror as Lucky quite literally had half of his body hanging from the edge of Dylan’s hand, Dylan had decided to start a little conversation. Mostly towards Lucky.

“You’re gonna fall.” He sighed, cupping his hand a little more to prevent Lucky from falling to his death. I shuddered just at the thought of looking over the edge. It’s taken literally almost everything in me to not look over the edge and pass out. 

“No I’m not.” Lucky stuck out his tongue, fixing his position so only his arms were dangling. I could practically hear Dylan roll is eyes. We made eye contact for a while, him giving a smile and opening his mouth to speak, “So what made you want to come over?” 

I jumped at the sudden question directed to me. It’d be pathetic to speak and stutter in front of Dylan, but then again the same goes if I don’t speak. What would he think? Choices are so hard to make. What if I just shrugged? But then he might want to bring it up again and then I’d have to answer. 

Out of nowhere, Lucky sat beside me, wearing a sympathetic face that said, “I’ll tell him for you.” And I’ve never been more grateful in that moment. I would have hugged him if I knew how to. Also I might step over a boundary. Not something that I’d like to do. 

I whispered to Lucky what I wanted him to say, noticing that Dylan looked so confused. I would have scooted back had I not remembered that there was about a hundred foot fall from where I was. If the fall doesn’t kill me the injuries would. 

“He say he just wanted to help out. I told him Angela and Isabelle were sick earlier. Plus, apparently Ryker asked him first.” Lucky shrugged like it was nothing. I admit, I was jealous, but that was shortly lived. I’ll be able to talk someday. Hopefully. Maybe. I’ve done it once I could definitely do it again. If I really wanted to anyways. 

“Makes sense,” Dylan shrugged, “That’s also oddly… nice?” He raised an eyebrow, suspicious of me. I nearly let out a squeak as I brought my knees closer to my chest. I really wasn’t trying to trick anyone… I’m just a really nice person trying to help a friend out. Please don’t hurt me. Please don’t hurt me. Please don’t- 

“I was just messing with you. You should have seen your face.” Dylan laughed along with Lucky. Oh thank goodness. The last thing I needed was to be ditched on the side of the concrete not knowing where I was. I was pretty sure we were close to their house though. 

“But seriously, that’s amazingly nice of a stranger. Ry could actually use the help too.” Dylan told me. A tiny smile formed at the corners of my mouth. Maybe he really didn’t see me as a bother. 

——————

It didn’t take us long in the store. Only a couple minutes tops. Though, I didn’t know that the human-sized part of the store was connected. It really made things easier for Dylan since he didn’t have to wait outside awkwardly. Plus, he could grab one for Isabelle too. I was paying anyways. 

We checked some things out, I paid for the things I was getting, while Lucky kept on insisting that I just let him pay for everything. We agreed that we would pay for our own things in the end. It only took a couple minutes to reach the familiar neighborhood I saw two weeks ago. 

Dylan walked up to their house, unlocking it and announcing his presence to practically the entire world while he was closing the door behind him. Ryker turned his head an glared at Dylan, making him whisper a sorry and let both Lucky and I on the ground in front of the same human-sized door that led to their rooms before silently walking back to his own room. It was intimidating to see him from this point of view, but I sucked in a breath, and walked through the open door. I came here, so I’ll just have to deal with it. 

It looked the same as before. Just that there were a ton of blankets thrown onto the couch. I didn’t think about that too much. 

“So do I get a thank you?” Lucky teased. For the phone number? I just laughed to myself, “Y-yeah. Thank you.” 

Lucky was putting away some groceries he had bought. I helped clean up a bit before we both decided to head back outside. It was a long walk from the hallway to the couch, but that’s no surprise when you’re two inches tall to these people. Now I get why Lucky and Angela get carried around almost everywhere in here. 

“Are you staying for dinner?” Lucky asked, now walking backwards to keep up a conversation with me. Was I? I still haven’t told my mom that I was here. I’ll tell her when she texts or calls. She’ll probably be so happy to hear that I was here anyways. 

“I don’t know.” I replied, shrugging my shoulders. 

“You should. You could teach me how to make actually good food.” We both laughed. 

“If you want me to.” 

Lucky silently cheered, thanking me several times before we reached the elevator to get on top of the side-table by the couch Ryker was currently sitting down at trying to find something to watch. 

“Hey Ry.” Lucky grabbed his attention, standing near the very edge of the table. Nope. Could never do that. How is Lucky so brave? Does he really have that much confidence in himself that he won’t fall? Just one wrong step… No. Don’t think about that. I’m not the one on the very edge. 

“Hey” Ryker replied, letting down his free hand. We climbed on and slid back off onto the arm of the couch where there were human-sized blankets and pillows making a makeshift bed. But there wasn’t anyone there. Where did he have Angela then? She wasn’t in that room earlier. I sighed, sitting down. I’d just have to wait until she wakes up. 

“How are they doing?” Lucky asked, sitting beside me. 

Ryker let out a long sigh, “Off and on. Isabelle’s been asleep for a while and I managed to get her to eat some toast. I haven’t been able to check Angela’s fever, but I don’t think she’s getting any better.” 

He brought his other hand towards us, revealing Angela wrapped up in a pink blanket. She didn’t look like she was having a peaceful dream either. She kept moving around and mumbling things that I didn’t understand. Lucky went to check if she still had a fever, which she did. I just have to wait for her to wake up so I can start making something for her. It’s the whole reason I came anyways. My mom’s a nurse, you learn a thing or two. 

“Oh, um, thanks for coming by the way, Nathan.” Ryker thanked me, looking concerned for his little sister who looked like she was about to wake up. 

I came back with a small bowl of chicken noodle soup and some crackers, hoping that this would help in some way. Angela was struggling to keep her eyes open, but after she ate something she already looked a lot better. She didn’t go back to sleep either so I guess that was a good thing too? All I can say was that Angela was excited to see me. We were sitting on the arm of the couch where the pile of blankets and pillows were. 

“Nathan!” She forced herself up and wrapped me in the tightest hug she could manage. I laughed nervously, debating on returning the gesture, but she let go before I could. Thank you. That would have been one awkward hug in front of so many people. Though, I noticed Ryker trying to hide his smile. I didn’t know if that was directed to Angela or me. Or both. Nope. Not going to think too much on that. 

Angela let out a series of coughs and sat back down, wrapped up in her blanket once again. I noticed that she was also hugging the panda I gave her two weeks ago. My heart fell. I didn’t expect her to like it so much. 

Her fever had gone down a lot. Which was a good thing. She ended up falling back to sleep eventually. Then it was just back to the little one sided conversations with Ryker. Dylan and Lucky were hanging out in their own room, probably playing a game or watching tv. So it really was just us. 

It was nice, really. Even if I could only listen and react. I didn’t mind. There was nothing to say anyways. I loved listening though. 

Ryker mentioned something about Jasmine having a game to go to tonight, which explains why she wasn’t here. Then, he said he should probably get started on dinner, which, wow, I probably should start helping out Lucky. 

I helped Lucky with dinner, and once again he praised my cooking abilities, which weren’t even that good. At least to me. Afterwards, Ryker took me to the bus stop by my house and thanked me again. I walked back to my house, changed into comfy pajamas and fell asleep. 

Today was a good day.

——————

I think this was a good chapter. I think. I don’t know. I love how Ryker is trying his hardest to be a responsible parent and how Nathan tries his hardest to take care of Angela and Lucky as much as he can.

Anyways, thank you guys for reading!! Love you guys ❤️

#G/t #g/t writing #g/t community #sfw g/t #giant/tiny #restoration #oc: ryker #oc: nathan #oc: lucky #oc: dylan #parental g/t #Does this count as parental g/t?? #I think it technically does #Ryker was stressing #g/t fluff #Thanks for reading! #love you guys ❤️

[my-precious-treasure]

When I Fall

Diasomnia Masterlist

In which you decide you’ve had enough. TW: depression, attempted suicide, swearing 

You feel. . .empty. This feeling isn’t new, but somehow, this time it feels more intense. For a moment you wonder what triggered it this time. Just accepting it, you slide out of bed and wander into the bathroom.

To say you looked a mess would’ve been an understatement. Sighing, you brush out your hair enough to be “sociably acceptable” and brush your teeth. Opening the medicine cabinet, you pull out the concealer that you bought a few weeks ago from Sam. Wiping your face, you take note of just how bad your dark circles have become before applying the makeup. Hiding the concealer in the back of the cabinet once more, you head back to your room to change into your uniform.

You can hear Grimm complaining about something to Yuu down the hall. It’s probably something stupid about how he doesn’t want to go to class or that he’s going to starve to death if they don’t hurry to the cafeteria.

Before you can reach the stairs to the common area, one of the resident ghosts pops into view.

“You know, you really should take a break. You’ve been pushing yourself a lot lately. We’re worried.” You smile at him laughing it off.

“Don’t worry,” you say. “I’m fine. You should worry more about Grimm; he sounds like he’s dying.”

The ghost can only shake his head as you walk away.

~ ~ ~

Morning classes are boring. You wonder why you even bother trying. It’s not like any of this is real or relevant where you’re from. You miss home.

As you eat your lunch, your mind begins to wonder. What if today is the day you choke on a green bean and die? Would that be so bad? No, you don’t think it would. It might be a bit embarrassing, but if you’re dead, why’d it matter?

“Hey, are you ok?” Yuu’s soft voice draws you out of your thoughts. “You’ve been spacing out a lot more than usual. Can I get you anything?”

There he goes again. Why is he always so kind?

“No, I’m good just a bit tired.” You laugh at his skeptical look, “Honestly, I’ll be fine after a good night’s rest.” You nudge him with your elbow. Noticing the gazes of the three stooges from across the table, you note that they’ve finished their food.

“Come on, let’s get to class.”

“But you’ve barely touched your food.” Why does Yuu care so much about your appetite today?

“Naaah, it’s all good. I’m not that hungry since I had a big breakfast. Now seriously, if we don’t leave now, we’ll be late; class is all the way across campus.” Standing up with your plate in hand you make for the return/disposal stand.

How many lies have you told today? How many more will you tell?

Ace, Duce, Yuu, and Grimm all stare at you wondering why something seems off.

~ ~ ~

Entering 4th period, you think you might feel better afterwards. It is potions after all, the one course you’re actually semi-competent in. At least that’s what you thought before everything seemed to go wrong.

As you stare into the cauldron, you can feel yourself fighting back tears. Why isn’t this working? You followed the directions perfectly, you’re sure of it, so why? What did you do wrong?

Looking back over the list of ingredients, you find that you missed one after all. How could you be so careless? Sniffling and wiping away a stray tear, you grab the herb and begin to muddle it. Surely it’ll be ok if you add it at the end, right? Potions aren’t too different from cooking after all, and it’s usually fine to add an ingredient late. Right?

Wrong.

 As soon as the herb paste hits the bubbling liquid it explodes. You scream and duck as the cauldron actually shatters, hot goop going everywhere. You stand, pulling a glob of purple from your hair. How had it gone so wrong? You never make mistakes like this?

“BAD DOG!” You startle at the yell from across the room and your whole chest tightens. The whole class is staring at you now. “You could have seriously injured or killed someone! How in the world could you mess up so badly?” His words burn in your mind. “Clean up this mess immediately and come see me after school for detention. You’re going to learn to never make that mistake again.”

How could he be so cruel? It was one mistake, the first in almost an entire year. How dare he when you’ve been a model student? You feel heat rising in you, turning shame into anger.

“No.”

“No?” Crewel raises an eyebrow.

“No. I’ve had enough of this bullshit.” You take off your safety goggles, throwing them across the room at him. “I have done everything I’ve been told to do since day one. I don’t even belong here! It’s one thing to be magically transported to a new world, and it’s another to be dumped in a school for magically gifted assholes and not have magic. I have spent the entire semester learning about shit that doesn’t even matter where I’m from and for what? To appease that cocksucker of a headmage who can’t even do his own goddamn job? Just so I don’t have to live on the street?” Your tears flow freely down your face now.

“Not only do I have to do the stupid homework assignments, but I also have to do Crowley’s job, too. And for all the dorm’s issues I fix, do I get even a thank you? No. I get more fucking work dumped on me by that bastard. I quite literally don’t get paid enough to be everyone’s goddamn therapist. I deserve a fucking wage for all the shit I deal with, but instead of getting paid, I was promised a way home, and I don’t even get that. The fucking birdbrain in charge is off doing God knows what instead of his fucking job. I’m tired and, let’s be honest, unappreciated. Most of the people in charge see me as a tool, not a friend or a person.” You take a deep breath. Looks of shock and pity and guilt meet your eyes as reality starts to sink in. You feel yourself starting to deflate.

“I just want to go home, but I can’t and nobody seems to want to actually help me.”

You turn and rush out the door. You have no idea where your feet are taking you, you just run. Bodies stream out of classrooms; the bell must’ve rung. Jostled around, you hear murmurs around you, voices you don’t recognize.

Finding yourself at the base of the bell tower, you push through the door. You always wondered why it was never locked. Now, you’re grateful for it. The stairs seem endless, but you finally reach the top.

As you stand beneath the bell and look out over the island, you realize your tears have dried. When did that happen? Not that it matters. Slowly you make your way to the railing, feeling the breeze against your face. It’s cold but calming. You want to feel more.

As you climb the railing, the breeze seems to pick up. How nice it feels, standing there, one hand holding the wall, your other arm spread wide. Closing your eyes, you finally feel at peace.

Voices are carried up to your ears by the wind, but you can’t make sense of their words. Not that it matters.

Leaning forward you let your hand slip away from the wall as you plummet. With your eyes still closed, you relish the rush of air against you. It’s comforting as nothing has been recently. Finally, you’ll be free.

Warm arms wrap around you, and your eyes shoot open.

“Malleus. . .” Suddenly, you find yourself in tears once more, “Why? You’ll kill yourself too!”

“You called me by my true name.” Why is he smiling? “You forget that I can levitate, child of man.” Only then do you notice that the rushing has stopped and you’re now hovering three meters above the ground, a crowd below looking on with a mix of shock and relief.

“Why are you crying?”

“You’re so stupid!” You cling to him now as though he’s your lifeline, “How could you be so reckless! I thought you were going to die with me and I-” You choke up. Why do you care so much?

“You need not shed tears for me. Something like this could never kill me, but it most certainly would you, and I cannot let that happen.” He pulls you closer to him and gently strokes your hair. “I cannot sit by and let one of my closest friends waste their life so thoughtlessly. Let me listen to your woes as you have to mine.”

You’re sobbing like a baby by the time your feet touch the ground, streams of “I’m sorry” flow from your lips between gasps of air. You’re certain Malleus’ uniform has been ruined by your snot, and yet he does not release you as you slide to the ground.

Friends, classmates, and faculty gather around the two of you, as close as they dare with Malleus seemingly guarding you. You can’t make out their words through your own racing thoughts. Grimm, having shoved his way through the crowd, curls up on your lap. His purrs of comfort and Malleus’ warmth lull you into a slumber.

#twisted wonderland #twst wonderland #twst #malleus #malleus draconia #malleus x reader #gender neutral reader #angst #comfort at the end #angst comfort

[noticiasarquelogicasjaponesas]

日本の考古学と科学思想の歴史。 第3章 ： 日本の考古学者の皆さん、哲学的観点から見た新しい日本考古学へようこそ。 - 1868年当時、日本にはヨーロッパやアメリカで見られるような科学的根拠はありませんでした。日本がその精神やその一部を開放したのは、1868年から1869年の戊辰戦争後になります。米国のような国は日本の科学をモデルにするだろうから、非常に保守的だった。 日本で骨董品への関心が芽生えたのはいつ頃ですか？ 江戸時代にはすでに骨董品への関心があったことが知られており、はるか昔にヨーロッパでも同様のことが起こりました。 日本の発掘の始まりは19世紀のほぼ終わりに始まり、数年前に日本でいくつかのローマ硬貨が発見されました。どうやら日本の封建領主は古遺物を収集するのが好きでした。おそらくそれらは中国のどこかの港から海岸に到着しました。日本語。 - 過去を知りたいという欲求は、どの大陸に属していても、すべての人類に共通のものであり、問​​題の時代についても同じことが言えます。 ヨーロッパやアメリカの様々な勢力が日本に到来したとき、彼らはその住民に影響を与えました。そのため、日本人によって日本考古学の父と考えられているエドワード・モースを、他の登場人物の中でも特に取り上げています。 19 世紀には、アメリカ哲学の最も偉大な学派の 1 つであるテイラー主義があり、これは台湾で考古学的発掘を行い、中国および韓国との関係を確立する日本の考古学の最も偉大な人物の 1 人である鳥居龍蔵に影響を与えることになります。 - 気に入っていただければ幸いです。今後の投稿でお会いしましょう。良い一週間をお過ごしください。 - HISTORY OF JAPANESE ARCHEOLOGY AND SCIENTIFIC THOUGHT. Chapter 3 : Welcome, Japanesearchaeologicalists, to a new installment of Japanese archaeology, seen from a philosophical point of view. Having said that, get comfortable and let's begin. - In 1868 Japan did not have a scientific base per se as we can see in Europe or the United States, it will be after the Boshin War of 1868-69 when Japan opened its mentality or part of it, since a good part of the population was very conservative because Countries like the United States would model Japanese sciences. When did interest in antiques arise in Japan? It is known that in the Edo period there was already interest in antiquities, something similar happened in Europe a long time ago. The beginning of the Japanese excavations began almost at the end of the 19th century, a few years ago some Roman coins were discovered in Japan, apparently a feudal lord in Japan liked to collect antiquities, they probably arrived from some port in China to the coasts Japanese. - The desire to know the past is something that all human beings share, no matter what continent you belong to and the same can be said about the era in question. When the different powers from Europe and the United States arrived in Japan, they influenced its inhabitants, thus we have, among other characters, Edward Morse, considered by the Japanese, the father of Japanese archaeology. During the 19th century we have one of the greatest schools of American philosophy, Taylorism, which will influence one of the greatest figures of Japanese archeology Torii Ryūzō who will carry out archaeological excavations in Taiwan, establishing relations with China and Korea. - I hope you liked it and see you in future posts, have a good week.

#日本 #歴史 #考古学 #哲学 #人類学 #人類進化学 #アメリカ合衆国 #科学 #東アジア #エドワードシルベスターモース #戊辰戦争 #ヨーロッパ #江戸時代 #テーラーリズム #ユネスコ #Japan #History #Archaeology #Philosophy #Anthropology #Human Evolution #United States of America #Science #East Asia #Edward Sylvester Morse #Boshin War #Europe #Edo Period #Taylorism #UNESCO

[almostglitterycreator]

Sasusaku blank period week 2023

So it's my first time writing a fic and it's really short but I really wanted to try it ,so I did. it wasn't that easy as I kept thinking but had a problem of finding right words and when I did , and wrote it down , it got discarded and wasn't saved ! I got so demotivated then . After that I tried again , finished it , turn to check the statement prompt to write but it happened again! Everything was discarded already but I didn't quit and write again. I know it's not one of the best as I am just a novice. I don't mind if you share your views and advise me about how I should improve my writing skills.

🌸Tears & trials🌸

statement prompt for day2 -“sakura,I told you to stay behind me! ”

Sasuke never thought that everything would turn out this way. He always thought that his heart was mostly stone cold , the things he had seen and countered were enough to make him as hard as a stone. But this , whatever was happening now felt like that very familiar fear he had countered when he was just a child and again when Itachi left him . And now the history was repeating itself, here he is again; reliving the fear of that time when he had lost his family ,all scared and terrifyingly lonely . He looked at the unconscious figure , mint eyes that were closed now . He held her hand and squeezed . He wished desperately for her to open her eyes ,look at him and scold him about how she doesn't need saving now or how she could handle herself. Besides he deserves it .

Sakura was injured now and it was his fault . They were at last on their journey ,they were seeing new places together and some old places as well while reminiscing about their younger days. Sasuke would show her how he saw those places when he was traveling alone. But he felt Sakura's company was making it better than before. They were closer than ever. They never stayed longer than a week at a place but still he felt at home . He felt at home with her. She was his home . He never would've realized this until now when he feels like he would become homeless again.

While traveling they've stopped at small village near the end of mountains. Seeing that sakura and Sasuke are shinobis , the villagers asked for their help . Apparently some weeks ago , a gang of bandits had raided this village and seeing that the villagers are not able to do anything about it had made them bold enough to come over in every four days and take away everything that took their fancy . Hearing this , sasuke and sakura decided to help them. When the bandits came , sakura and Sasuke drive them away easily but next day those bandits came prepared and armed . Their numbers were thirty to forty times larger than the lone sasuke and sakura.

One of the bandits scoffed ,“ what ? Y'all run away like rats because of what ? A pinkie girl and an one arm man ? Shame y'all!”

Another one laughed at sakura, “ hey little flower ~ whatcha doing here ? You should be at a flower shop, you'll be crushed here pink flower~”

Another one smirked, “ don't worry if ya beg us , we'll take ya to have fun with us ! ”

Hearing their stupid remarks made sasuke's blood boil , he wanted to cut those tongues responsible for spitting such insults at sakura , he was just about to act on his impulse when— “ oh really? Then this flower would like to have fun with y'all as well! ”

At this statement, sakura's feist came in contact with the ground and it cracked , shocking the bandits .

Sasuke smirked seeing this , “hn.” sakura is not someone that anyone can mess with .

Sakura and Sasuke fought as a single unit , joining each other's force. Sasuke was avoiding using his powerful techniques such as susanoo and amaterasu so as to not draw too much attention towards him. She took half of the herd and Sasuke took half. They were working as a team , since their genin days , they were always compatible as a team and even after growing up and staying apart, they were still compatible.

They were winning even after being only two of them alone. Sasuke put half of the bandits in a genjutsu and dropped them unconscious. While sakura fought hand to hand with them, her punches knocking them out . Sasuke saw one of the bandits coming behind sakura with a big knife in hand . Sasuke throwed his kunai and stopped him in his tracks . Sakura saw this and knocked that one out with her chakra punch. Sasuke came between sakura and the bandits ,“ Sakura,stay behind me . I'll deal with them with my genjutsu.”

Sakura was incredulous at sasuke's statement , it reminded her of that time when she was a powerless little girl who was always saved by Naruto and Sasuke in fights . She daringly stepped forward earning a “sakura I told you to stay behind me !” but to sasuke's surprise sheknocked two bandits at same time , after that she turned and boldly stated , “ I don't need to stay behind you . I can handle this myself! ” she couldn't keep her anger from seeping in her words.

Sasuke was surprised hearing her statement and realized he had wounded sakura's pride as a kunoichi , “No ,I didn't mean—

While they were having their own conversing issues in the middle of the fight , a bandit came running forward and stabbed sakura, blood spattered making Sakura and Sasuke both froze.

The sudden attack took sakura by surprise and her legs started to give out . Sasuke caught her in his arms , while shooting deathly look at that bandit .

“Amaterasu”. And that bandit started burning with black flames , he screamed and every bandit started to run for their lives after seeing those flames of hell . Before they could run sasuke put them in his genjutsu of nightmares. Every bandit dropped unconscious there .

The villager ran toward him to express their gratitude and joy but stopped after seeing him froze up with sakura in his embrace .

They offered to help him and took him to a doctor in the village. They even have already called for an officer to arrest those bandits. The bandits were arrested while being unconscious meanwhile Sakura was getting bandaged for her injury , it wasn't too deep but she still hasn't woke up which was terrifying sasuke. It was now night. The whole day has passed since the event but sakura's still unconscious. Each passing minute felt like hours for sasuke , he felt scared . He felt homeless again. He found home at last and now he felt like his home would slip away from his hands because of his own carelessness. Uchiha sasuke had lost a lot of things in his life so he stopped desiring them , to desire those things would only make him more miserable if he lost them again. The only lesson his guilty life had taught him is that not having something is better than having and losing them. He felt powerless and utterly useless then. Sometimes he feels like he's cursed . To never be happy again ,to always wander alone and to never be with his loved ones ; to only live in guilts and regrets through all his life .

Then he wished. He wished desperately to whoever is sitting there , if they are listening , to please not take away the only person who had given him unconditional love like his family , he begged to not take away his home .

“sakura”,he muttered softly,“ please just do me one last favor , just wake up ”

She had done a ton of favors for him his whole life. She did a favor by not giving up on him , by never stopped loving him , by never stopped caring for him , by putting up with his mistakes, by forgiving him when he couldn't even forgive himself, by putting faith in him , and a lot more than he would ever be able to voice them out. Sakura Haruno was always a ray of light in Sasuke Uchiha's dark life, spring breeze in his cold life . She had always provided him with warmth when he felt cold.

He knew that he did not deserve her and she deserves better than the likes of him but still he couldn't help himself when she mentioned about going together with him . He became selfish. The thought of some alone time with sakura made him greedy . He wanted to be with sakura without her worrying about her hospital shifts , he wanted to spend time with sakura without Naruto and everyone there to bicker with her. He wanted to go to places with her without worrying about comments on their relationship whenever anyone see him. He had left her one time when she asked to go with him in the middle of the night and it still makes him regret his actions till now. And so he got selfish and brought her with him which resulted in her getting badly injured and laying here unconscious currently.

Sometimes he feels like he's cursed; Cursed that anyone he would found warmth and familiar love in would be taken away from him . He was doomed to be alone and loveless his whole life. Maybe it's better if he stays away from everyone , to not bring unhappiness in the lives of those few people he considers close to his family. He shouldn't have been greedy. He shouldn't have brought her with him just because he wanted to feel her presence with him . He should have stayed away from her , she would've been happy there, safe from his cursed self. She would've found someone better than him who would've been deserving of her, someone who wouldn't make her cry , someone who's life isn't only filled with regrets but he couldn't. He just couldn't imagine her with someone else. He knows its better for both him and her but he just can't. He doesn't own sakura but still.... It doesn't feel right when he sees her with other men . It makes him feel emotions that are close to anger and sadness but not quite whole of it. His heart feels like it's burning when he thinks about sakura finding someone else.

He squeezed her hand tightly again and held it to his lips.

“Sakura, I.. I... It's my fault. It always have been my fault. I got selfish. I... I.. wanted to spend time with you like those old times when we were young. I forgot that we weren't kids anymore. Both you and I are changed in so many ways. Except for your smile... You... You never stopped smiling at me even if I made you only cry. ” words were failing him again . He never had a way with words , they were always stubborn in describing his feelings.

A tear slid down his cheek brushing her fingers. His emotions were now all over the place , that he didn't even notice sakura's other hand twitching slightly. He knew he was a mess and always have been.

“ I shouldn't have pulled you into my mess. You shouldn't have been here with me , you would've been safe back home . You don't deserve this . ”

“I... Always trouble you . I've yet again put you in danger. You are a beautiful flower and I know you'll wither in my cold dark life . I am sorry again sakura... ” he pleaded in a soft whisper.

She could hear him . At first she felt she was dreaming of sasuke. She could make out his voice... He was saying something very softly. Her consciousness started to ease up when she felt a wetness on her fingers. After that she realized her hand is being squeezed very tightly by another big hand . His voice, his words and his hand , she knew who it was.... Sasuke. She remembered that they were fighting bandits and she got injured and passed out because of too much bleeding. She remembered the face sasuke made when she passed out , he looked so... Scared . Terrifyingly scared.

Then she got the hang of his words . He was blaming himself for everything bad that had happened to her ?

She tried to open her eyes very slowly , her eyes were out of focus at first but slowly she could make out sasuke's face. He was holding her hand to his mouth. And his normal eye had an unshed tear!?

She tried to speak, “sa-suke kun , why are you—?”

But immediately she was shocked into silence when her head came in contact with his chest , his hand gentle on her hair. Sakura realized she was being hugged by sasuke but very carefully. He was being careful of her wound.

“sasuke kun ? ” she asked.

“sakura , thank you for waking up”, his voice was a bit shaky ,“ I ... Thank God... ” he sighed in relief.

Sakura got the hang of shakiness in his voice , trembling of his hand as well. She knew she scared him but she couldn't believe...that he was probably crying for her .

Sakura Haruno could not believe that sasuke Uchiha was shaken up by her getting stabbed and fainting during a fight. She knew sasuke is a very closed off person, he doesn't show his emotions out in the open. More so his scared or sentimental side . So it was hard to believe. Sasuke was still hugging her and showed no sign of leaving her . Having come to this realisation, she blushed a bit .

“ah sasuke kun , I am alright , are you... Okay? ” she unsurely asked.

“AA.”

“ so now I think you should–”,she tries to get up from his embrace but he still doesn't let her go .

“just..for a few moments...let's stay like this”, his voice was still shaky.

“sasuke kun are you...? ” she couldn't voice out the word crying but she knew he was . He did not wanted her to see him crying . Sakura respected his privacy , she knew he isn't one of those who shows emotions easily or express them verbally. Their situation now reminded her of their younger days , when sasuke woke up from injury and sakura hugged him . How the roles have been switched now . But considering their job as a shinobi , it's very normal to get injured between missions. She had faced these kind of injuries many times , sometimes during fights and missions and a lot of times healing the injured in war . As a medic, this was no injury that would scare her but the shock of it got her this time . But she knew sasuke isn't a medic , so he must have panicked when she fainted while fighting. If whatever she had heard now was right so He must be feeling anxious till now that it was all his fault. That because of him , she got hurt .

She wanted to soothe his worries ,so she embraced him as well , gently patting his back , “hey, sasuke kun I am alright, nothing too serious here and it's not your fault. I got distracted and got myself injured. Don't blame yourself.”

He tightened his hold , “No. It is my fault . Because of me you got distracted and I didn't mean that you couldn't handle yourself . You can. It's just i didn't want you... to get hurt . But because of me you did got hurt . I am sorry, sakura, again”.

“ I think you should go back to the village after you get well. I'll always hurt you like this . It would be better if you find... Someone better. I –” but he was cut off mid sentence.

“So you want me to go back ?” Sakura looked into his eyes now ,her face a mix of both hurt and anger. “ Just because of a stupid wound you will distance yourself again?” her voice trembled slightly with anger and emotion. “No . I am not going back and Stop blaming yourself. I said it's not your fault, it happens during fights.” she had started to cry now too .

Sasuke couldn't say anything , he was too surprised after seeing her tears . She was crying in her anger.

“And No . I am not finding someone else because if I have wanted to I wouldn't have come with you Sasuke kun ! I don't care if you think I am or am not safe here with you but one thing for sure is that I am not leaving you ! ”

She finished while slightly raising her voice at the end. Her eyes were still dripping tears down her face. Sasuke just couldn't say anything , he just looked in her teary beautiful mint eyes for a whole moment. There was always something in those eyes that captivated him from their younger days. He couldn't help but not look in them and get lost in them. And usually that is why he avoided eye contact with her , because whenever she looked into his eyes , she could made him reveal things about himself he never would've share with anyone. Her eyes get the best of him.

Then the tears got his attention. I have made you cry again... Her tears always make him feel terrible, they shake him up easily. But he couldn't help the surge of relief and joy that burst in his chest when she mentioned about not leaving him and not finding someone else. He took her into his embrace right then , this time with a firm resolve to not let her mesmerizing eyes moisten over him and to take care of her better.

Sasuke did not know what to say to make her understand his feelings when he himself can't grasp his heart. Just one thing he's certain of ; He feels deeply for her. He came back to the village only for her, he doesn't want her to be sad , he can't see her getting hurt for him. He wants sakura to be happy but he can't seem to see her with someone else, the thought of sakura moving on from him and finding someone else makes him all anxious and uneasy. He feels afraid of this thought. He doesn't know if he'll be able to make sakura Happy but he feels peace with sakura. He feels at home with her.

“sakura , I am sorry and thank you.. for everything”,he could only manage. Sakura returned his hug , making sure to let him know that she understands him. She knew that he was thanking her for loving him and he was sorry that she's crying for him. She knows that he does feel something for her but doesn't know how to express it in words. They don't need words to understand each other and they are both aware of it. For sakura , no one can take sasuke's place in her life, he will always be her first and last love. She was certain of it . She just wanted him to feel that he's not alone , she's always here for him . He doesn't need to voice out his concern for her as his actions reveal it very clearly. Their embrace reveals their importance for each other. Sasuke understood that she knows and she understands. She always does. He doesn't want her to leave and she knows it as well. Even if he does not deserve her , he still isn't able to let her go. Maybe it's fine like this . He doesn't mind and nor does she. Words aren't enough for both of them . There are a lot of things that sasuke Uchiha is unable to understand in terms of these things but one thing is for certain , sakura Haruno is an irreplaceable existence in sasuke's life. She always was and will always be.

They stayed like this for a long time. After that, they broke apart and nobody said anything. They didn't need to. They stayed in that village for a week and sasuke took care of sakura until she felt fine enough to heal herself. This incident had made them both sure of one thing ,they will stay together. The villagers were full of gratitude for both of them so they provided everything for them. Sasuke and sakura left that village after Sakura's recovery, after all they still had a long journey ahead of them ,Together.

~END~

Sasusaku week 2023 , day 2- statement prompt “ I told you to stay behind me, Sakura! ”

#sasusaku week 2023 #day2 #sasusaku #uchiha sasuke #sakura haruno #blank period #fic #SSBLANKPERIOD2023 #SSBP Day2 #SS blank period 2023

[poisonhemloc]

Originally this was going to be a continuation of the baby headcanons from a few weeks ago and then the Nomai took over and its not fully that anymore but its mostly genetics

When Nomai do art that’s showing a ‘typical Nomai’ (like in the sun station- that’s not supposed to be someone specific, the art is a stand-in for a generic Nomai) they paint whoever their clan leader is for it. (the statues were not intended to be generic Nomai- there was a planned who is near what, and the statues are carved to reflect that)

Who was clan leader? I think it was Yarrow- our Nomai would have been considered Yarrow’s clan by the time they died. Our Nomai had a period of no leader before the two escape pods met back up with each other, since Escall wasn’t on either of the escape pods that made it out. When they did meet back up, Yarrow was elected as new clan leader. Usually it’s a for life/ until resignation, but most leaders resign when they feel they’re too old to run the clan well. Everyone is in the running for a new leader when it happens, no matter how young or old.

Clan dynamics aside, let’s talk coloration-

Yarrow was leucistic- not that common, for Nomai, but not unheard of. Most Nomai were not solid white- I like to think they could be brown to red to orange to yellow to black, sometimes you get a bluish black. Solid color or calico pattern or tabby or splotchy all happens, but it’s very ‘what do your parents look like’ based. Eye colors are generally white to light orange to very dark brown, with blues and greens occurring but, rarely. Yarrow had light blue eyes.

Escall was solid russet red practically, Solanum is solid orange with dark brown eyes, Lami and Laevi and Pye (their aunt) were calico patterned, mostly orange but with russet red and yellow and brown- their family all had light orange to white eyes. Clary and Poke were mostly solid light browns- Poke had white splotches on her limbs. Poke’s eyes were white, Clary’s were very light green.

Owlks take mostly after egg laying parent- I’ve mentioned before, I view them as three separate tribes/groups? Marsh/lowlands are more greenish colored, Isles are more blueish and tend to be smallest of the three, Cliff/gorge are more grey and the largest overall. Marsh tends to have smaller horns, Isles tend to be more swept back, Cliff is more streamlined overall. 

Hearthians are very impacted by the environment their egg was in before hatching, it’s practically stronger than genetics for them- acidic vs basic water, if it’s running too much or not at all, too hot or too cold or too clear or too muddy etc. For eye color, especially, that’s not really genetic based at all except ‘if nothing else effects this they’ll be yellow’ but a lot of stuff can effect eye color. They don’t know how every different thing effects them, but if two hatchlings in a row are weird, they change conditions for the eggs (Moraine and Chert are both weirdly short- change something. Riebeck? They didn’t wait for a second weird hatchling.) The ‘normal’ range of heights is Gossan to Porphy- Feldspar and Gabbro are both outside that on different ends- Feldspar is about an inch shorter, Gabbro two or three taller. Our hatchling was first normal height traveler.

Hearthian’s freckles are like fingerprints- everyone’s are different somehow. There is a little bit of a genetic tendency to have a similar freckle pattern to parents, but it’s very easily outweighed by everything else. Freckles can be changed due to trauma, too- Gossan did not always have the stripey pattern on their face they currently have (they don’t in the museum picture). It’s not an immediate change type thing, but get hit by something hard enough and the freckles around it will start looking more like scars as the area heals.

#Poisonhemloc’s rambles #outer wilds #so many headcanons #this was. supposed to be. hearthian centric. and then the nomai showed up #...partly due to a fic im working on but

[sneakyscarab]

touhou 19 time! this game was literally not even released when i started this, so this is really fresh! this post is probably the closest i will ever be to a real games journalist lol.

nina's thoughts on Touhou 19 - Unfinished Dream of All Living Ghost

the most recent touhou, coming out just a few weeks ago, so this review is hot off the presses! UDoALG (wild abbreviation by the way, this name is so long) is a pretty neat game, being a direct sequel to Wily Beast and Weakest Creature story-wise, and a sequel to Phantasmagoria of Flower View gameplay-wise.

UDoALG is another in the competitive-danmaku type gameplay, similar to PoFV but with a number of evolutions to make the gameplay more balanced and easier to control. i won't go over every little change, since theres quite a lot, but ill point out some interesting changes, mostly in relation to story mode. for starters, Ability Cards are back again from UM, although with a much smaller role. each character has 2 cards themed to them, and whenever you beat an opponent in story mode you're randomly given one of their two cards. the three animal spirits are added, but they work completely differently to WBaWC, now being stronger variants of the generic spirit enemies from PoFV. a change that i think is only in story mode is that a new win condition is added, where if you defeat your opponent's boss summon an amount of times then your opponent loses. this is also pretty much the only wincon in story mode, since the AI has insane dodging skills. i literally only saw them lose a life one (1) time across 19 characters' stories (if you're curious, it was in Chiyari's stage 1).

one really interesting aspect of this game is the storytelling. i usually don't bring up the story in these posts outside of how certain characters relate to it, the story usually is a fairly simple affair that just gives the characters a reason to fight, but UDoALG has a much more complex story, which im kinda mixed on. i'll start with the cool part: the story actually progresses as you play through and unlock various characters in story mode, every set of character unlocks represents a later time period of the story, so you don't get the full story and resolution until you play through it all. this is a super cool idea, and gives good incentive to keep playing different routes and see how it all plays out. its a cool idea that uniquely plays off of the large character roster and unlocking method of these competitive vs games.

unfortunately, in order to make this happen and make every character be relevant, the plot is needlessly convuluted, especially in the first couple campaigns. there are so many factions at play, all with their own motives and double-agents and subterfuge. by the end of the 19 story scenarios you will be absolutely sick of the phrase "this is exactly as i had planned", and yet i still dont fully understand What the "main villain"s plan was. i commend ZUN for trying something new with the narrative, both in doing a direct sequel with most of the same characters as a former game, as well as this way of unfolding the story over time through different character routes, but i can't say it was Good. maybe im just biased since it mostly revolves around the WBaWC cast, and that game already had pretty rough plot and characterization, but i dunno. i will say i liked the story more at the end than i did after doing the first couple routes, but some of that early confusion never really goes away, and characters like Ran and Tsukasa dont really get their stories resolved.

time to talk about the characters! UDoALG is furry city, pretty much every character besides the human incident resolvers is some kind of animal-person, plus a few Onis. for returning characters we have Reimu, Marisa, Sanae, Ran (from PCB), Aunn (HSiFS), Nazrin (UFO), Seiran (LoLK), Rin (SA), Tsukasa (UM), Mamizou (TD), Yachie (WBaWC), Saki (WBaWC), Yuuma (the 3rd Animal Realm leader, coming from a fighting game i think?), and Suika (also a fighting game, and SA). for the new characters, we have 3 new youkai who have each joined one of the animal realm families respectively, plus the 'main villain' Zanmu and her assistant Hisami. since theres only 5 new guys, ill just give them each a quick review.

Son Biten is a monkey youkai, based on Son Wukong, recruited to Yachie's Kiketsu family. she's pretty goofy, and has a really neat musical theme. i dont have much to say about her, besides that she has a cool inspiration, and some of her interactions are pretty funny.

Enoko is a dog-type youkai, loosely based on the idea of Cerberus, who was recruited to Saki's Keiga family. instead of literally having 3 heads, she has bear traps on her wrists that act as analogues to the jaws of two additional heads, which is a really neat interpretation of a cerberus concept, as well as having tons of comedic potential. i love all the jokes people make about her offering up a Totally Normal Handshake, dont worry about it. she apparently lived in the Forest of Magic as a dog before awakening as a youkai, so she joins the crew of Marisa's funny forest friends.

the third new Youkai is Chiyari, who is NOT a chupacabra, despite what everyone says. she's based on a Tenkajin, which is apparently an obscure youkai that sucks blood, obscure enough that i could only find a single source for it online, being a Japanese blog post written by who i assume is a youkai enthusiast. Anyways, nobody in Gensokyo knows what a tenkajin is either, so everyone calls her a chupacabra instead since its another bloodsucking creature who is 'pretty popular right now'. most of her interactions are her being annoyed by being called a chupacabra, and eventually coming to terms with it. poor tenkajin gets no respect. shes very funny, and also apparently completely broken in pvp. great character.

Hisami is a 'guide of Hell', who is also inexplicably based on grapes for some reason (or eggplants, depending on who you ask, but im in grapes camp.) she pretty much just finds people in hell and helps them find their destination, although 'their destination' is up to Hisami's interpretation, and multiple times in the story she leads characters somewhere else. apparently she does her job wrong because she wants Zanmu to notice her, and it doesn't work cause apparently that was part of Zanmu's plan all along, so she doesn't care. Zanmu is too busy playing 4d chess to give her suboordinate some attention, so sad.

speaking of, Zanmu is an Oni, and the 'main villain' of the game. i say that with quotes because, despite being the final boss in most routes, and being the chessmaster supposedly laying out the big plans and manipulating everyone, she also is simultaneously resolving the incident, kinda?? its a bit hard to understand her motivations. well i guess her motivations make sense, but its hard to understand how exactly she plans to get what she wants from this plan. like her plan involves getting beat up by Reimu multiple times? hello?? not a fan, and she doesn't even have a cool design inspiration to make up for it, shes just another oni.

alright, lets wrap this one up. i was surprised to see another VS type game come out, and it seems to deliver a lot more balanced and interesting combat than the first one (granted, story mode plays pretty differently from what i can tell). the story is weird though, and the roster doesn't really have many characters i'm excited to play as compared to PoFV, and the characters i do like are pretty bad. (Sanae in particular is really weak in this format, her homing snakes are a huge disadvantage against bosses since they turn as soon as they see an enemy, meaning they wont hit the boss unless every random spirit or fairy is dead first). complaints aside though, at the base level its still pretty fun, and im glad that this type of gameplay is being given another chance.

i said it in my PoFV review, and ill say it again here: if any of you reading this have UDoALG, and are interested in playing the PvP with me, hit me up! itd be fun to try playing this with another person (although i heard the online is rough so i dunno…)

thank you so much for reading, especially those of you that have stuck with me through each post! this is the end of the mainline series, but there's still a lot out there i havent done. im not sure where this will go from here, especially since my college semester just started so i'll have a lot less free time, but ive had a lot of fun working on this project, and i hope that youve had fun reading it! if i do keep going, i might do the PC-98 quintilogy next, or maybe talk about cool fangames like Luna Nights or Mystia's Izakaya, i dunno. whatever comes next though, i hope to see you again! consider this the end of 'volume 1' of my grimoire. farewell!

#grimoire of nina #touhou #touhou 19 #touhou UDoALG #unfinished dream of all living ghost #touhou project #touhou 19 spoilers

[sakarrie-creates]

2022 Fic Round-Up/Reflection

Am I over a month late? Yes. Is that going to stop me? Nnnnnnope.

Another year gone and another end of year summary! Yeash, it’s been a rough creative year haha. I’ve practically done nothing but school and work, which has certainly been problematic for writing. It’s been a productive adulting year though, so hopefully this dead period will help me find more opportunities down the line. My gosh I’m ready to be done with school already.

Since I’ve really not written much this year, this will be an abridged version of my reflection from last year’s template. That being said, I’m still very rambly so you can see the details below the cut!

2022 Stats:

Fics Started: 11 Fics Fully Written: 3 Fics Posted: 2 New WIPs: 7 Total WIPs: 20 (ish?) Words Written: 25,950 (33,176 if including documents of pure brainstorm ramble lol) Words Posted: 9,541 Fandoms Written For: 2 Events: 2 (+1)

Posted Fics

Carmen Sandiego (Gen): 1

So Long As You're With Me (7,804): It's been several months since Team Red rescued Player from the clutches of VILE and snapped him out of their control... mostly. His base personality is back, but he still doesn't remember them from anything other than the false memories VILE created for him. And it's just their luck that VILE painted Carmen and company in such a way that Player thinks that their attempts to help him is all some elaborate form for torture, and it doesn't help that he's currently recovering from an injury she caused. Carmen is near her wit's end, but she refuses to give up on her oldest and best friend.

Supernatural (Gen): 1

Still the Same (1,737): After a hunt, Sam and Dean watch the stars for the first time since Dean came back from Hell. Things are finally starting to fall back into place between them, but it's impossible to ignore the ways things have changed. 

Specifics:

Events Participated In:

SPN Summergen, Player Appreciation Week (Fic and Art), Code Secret Santa (Art), Miraculous Magic Zine (Revamp Fic), and Fandom Trumps Hate (Offered Art/Fic).

General questions:

Looking back, did you write more fics than you thought you would this year, less than you thought, or about what you predicted?

Oof, hard to answer. Definitely less than I’d hoped and maybe still a fair bit less than I expected, but I did know that my life was about to get swallowed by school and I wasn’t wrong. I definitely wish I had been able to participate in more events for sure and I’ve had a lot of inspiration for all sorts of stuff that I just haven’t had the brain power for unfortunately. What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted last year?

I mean, looking at posting, I only have two options lol. In general though, I stuck fairly close to my norm for all that. I poked around time travel AUs which was fun but most of that was brainstorming/animatic storyboarding rather than writing.

What’s your favorite story this year? Not the most popular, but the one that makes you the happiest.

Definitely So Long As You're With Me! That AU lives in my head rent free and boy howdy I’d love to share it all one day but there’s just so much to it. I swear, the pieces I have shared are hardly recognisable as the same story haha. Anyway, it’s definitely a little rushed at some points, but it was a very crammed piece that just kept getting longer, so I’ll take it!

Okay, NOW your most popular story.

Since I’ve only posted two new works this year, we’re going to go overall. Which would definitely still be Fragmentation. It’s got 20.3k views!! That’s only 400 less than it’s total word count and it seems like the hit count keeps going up slowly, which is wild to consider it’s on FF.net in a faded fandom and has been complete for like a year. Next up would be The Problem With Good Intentions at 11k, which also blows me away a bit cause Merlin ended a decade ago but I’m proud of the fandom for staying alive! XD

Story most underappreciated by the universe?

Probably still A Letter to Never Be Read on FF.net. It’s a pretty niche fic, so I can’t really be surprised but I felt artsy writing it way back when lol.

Most overdue story?

Welp, It’s Only Natural is certainly overdue, but I don’t think anyone is really following that one so it’s not in a rush. A Long Ways Home on the other hand drives me crazy cause I’ve actually been wanting to write for it, but brainpower’s been too low from school. Can’t believe it’s been a year. :’(

Did you take any writing risks this year? What did you learn from them?

Tbh, not really? I pushed myself in what I did, but it was all relatively in my comfort zone. I guess I tried writing in S4 of Supernatural in Still the Same, but that doesn’t feel much like a risk. I also tried out some writing from screenshot prompts which was super fun and interesting, but unfortunately that was sniped by lack of time/energy too. So I guess not really this year.

How’d this year compare to your goals of last year?

Oh boy, I’m so intimidated to read these paragraphs haha. I bet I did like none of them. We’ll start with the bullet list though since that should be fairly straightforward. -Unfortunately, prioritizing school is honestly my biggest writing goal this year. So if I do that all successfully and get through any more than like, 1-2 of these, it will be a success haha. 

-A Long Ways Home (Gonna break it up into Chapter 3, Chapter 4, and if that’s not the epilogue, then an epilogue. I’m determined and really think it’s doable, I just need to be careful not to overestimate again) WIP Bang if not done by Summer. -SPN Summergen -PAB if enough interest -February week event -Loyalties AU Plotting/Drafting -SQZ Zines -Comments

If crazy inspired year: -Gencest Bang -WIP Bang with It’s Only Natural -Post More CS One-shots -Other Zines

Okay, so some of those crossings are a little generous, but I wanted to at least check off the school one haha. Tbh, though, it wasn’t as bad as I expected! I did a decent job of having low expectations lol.

What are your fic writing goals for next year?

Oh boy. See I wish that this last year being so sad would mean this year would be back to creative rush, but I’m already a month in and I haven’t even tried writing anything other than school papers. I’ve been getting surprisingly into Huntlow (omg, Sakarrie having a romantic ship that she’s like legit into????? whacK), so it’d be fun to experiment with some fic there! Willow needs more angst fic to balance out our traumatized golden boi. Trying to find some zines would also be fun! And I’ll be sad if I ever have to miss Summergen cause it’s 100% my favorite event of the year. Oh, and of course I’m hoping to be able to participate more in Player Appreciation Week this coming month!! Shameless plug.

I’d also like to make some progress on A Long Ways Home, so hopefully in my Summer break I’ll finally have a chance to sit down and write. I’m not going to be dumb enough to put time frame estimations on it again though haha. I also am not a huge fan of having WIPs just sitting out there so if I could knock off It’s Only Natural sometime, that’d be great, but it’s honestly not a priority and I haven’t been feeling Voltron for a bit.

As for other plans, Loyalties AU and EverYOnE is bROkeN AU both haunt me at night and then there’s the time travel au that just has my brain zooming whenever I think about it. They just all get so intense and I WANT to share that intensity cause I know they could be epic, but first I gotta finalize the details, then I gotta have the skills to pull it off, then I gotta actually write sooooooooooooo we’ll see where those get me.

Okay so comments. Bah that project is such a mindset monster haha. I want to be supportive and express thanks to those who write and comment, but also the more pressure I put on it, the harder it gets. I feel like it makes reading new fics very intimidating and makes leaving chill comments harder. I think it would be nice to get through, but I think my goal for this year is to let my 1000 tabs go and just comment/respond in the moment whenever I can and not overthink it. I do want to catch up on replies though so that can be my comment goal for this year. In terms of my numbers, though, I did meet my generous goal of 20k written and 10k posted this year! (Rounding a little but close enough.) And I met my ultimate wc goal if brainstorming essays count!

Bullet list time!

2023:

-Unfortunately, keeping my scholarship has to be my biggest goal this year again so gonna put that here in case it's the only thing I can check off come December. -A Long Ways Home (at least 1 new chapter) -SPN Summergen -At least 3/7 Player Appreciation Week days -Catch up on comment replies -At least do some more brainstorming for bigger CS aus -Huntlow/Owl House fics? -One zine?

If crazy inspired year: -All of A Long Ways Home -All Player Appreciation Week Days -WIP Bang with It’s Only Natural -Post More CS One-shots -Write out more big AU scenes -Other Zines

So with that, I’m gonna set my word count bar pretty low again haha. In fact, I think I’ll just leave it as it was last year.

Easy Goal Word Count Goal: 20k (at least 10k posted)

Stretch Goal (aka, if I don’t die from school): 40k (at least 25k posted)

Ultimate 2023 Word Count Goal: 30k

#sakarrie's fic #carmen sandiego #supernatural #gen #ao3 #fic list #2022 fics #end of year reflection #2022 fic roundup

[coccyodynia]

things:

four years and a few days ago, i entered treatment for dual diagnosis care to treat my mental health and drug use

for about 4 straight years before that, i’m not sure i was sober for more than an hour at a time

i was really heavily using benzos and always mixing them with an extreme amount of alcohol

frequently confused as to who i was then, how people perceived me, and how i’m still alive

i’m extremely grateful i went to treatment, because if i hadn’t had some kind of intervention, i dont think i would have survived another year like that

i still really really struggle with relapses

and in the last two years i’m not sure i’ve managed to have a clean streak longer than 3 months

but i am trying

my drug abuse ended up being the last straw for some important people in my life, who would eventually leave my life bc of it

anyway moving on to other topics

i finally saw justin this week, for the first time in three months

it’s been a pretty weird 3 month period of not really knowing where we stood bc i couldn’t keep my feelings to myself, and he needed a break from that i guess

i understand it will never again be like it was when we first started talking

and tbh that really kills me, but i’m very grateful he’s a part of my life still, in some way

the connection was immediately really strong from the start and i really credit him with helping me a lot

he was probably the first person to verbalize “i’m here for you”, and actually follow through with that sentiment

meeting him almost exactly one year after reid left my life is probably worth mentioning here but whatever

ive finally been able to start seeing my therapist again, and i meet with her monday

right now she can only schedule me every other week, which is a really hard adjustment for me to make tbh

since october of 2019 i probably have had therapy at least once a week

im really struggling with staying sane bc my job has become an incredibly stressful place for me, which didn’t used to be the case

like work has always had some level of stress, sure, but this last month or so, i have been getting physically sick from the stress, crying at my desk every day, etc

but on the other hand, i’m also having these really meaningful yet overwhelming moments of gratitude for being where i’m at

like yeah nothing is perfect or even close, but i have created a life for myself that works most of the time

im finally experiencing a level of safety and security that i have honest to god never felt before, and i did not even know that it could improve this much

growing up i didnt have any sense of safety or security at all, which i didn’t realize until very recently

in the last year or so working with nicole (my therapist), i have finally learned that the things i was subjected to as a child were not normal, and that it was traumatic

about 6 months or so ago (possibly less), i learned i have complex post traumatic stress disorder

i had pretty much known for over a decade that i was borderline, before i was officially diagnosed

but i didn’t even have an inkling of an idea that i could be experiencing CPTSD, so when my therapist gently told me i was, my world view realllyyyyy started to shatter and shift

it has been very very difficult to come to terms with tbh

anyways i really miss writing and photographing and making art so i hope to return to that soon

i’m at work rn and i should probably start doing my job before the bosses get here so ta-ta for now thanks for reading this insane post

#things

[letterstomichelangelo]

life update rq cus i havent done one since early summer

i have changed a whole bunch

i finally got over the guy i liked for 2 years, that was a relief because it was seriously negatively impacting my life and my view of myself.

i found interests and fandoms to join (most notably The Goldfinch, Stranger Things, the revival of The Dragon Prince, AtLA, Marauders and Dead End Paranormal Park) and overall, life is better in that regard, for a period of time i edited and amassed almost 2k followers which is insane.

in my mental regards its been rough but autumn and winter always are for me. im just over a month clean, however i did a bit too much soul searching today and did almost relapse. i have buried everything bad thats happened to me over these few months in a grave and will be holding a funeral shortly (aka, trying to tackle my ever worsening mental health). Also I've been doing some research and I think I have ADHD, which would explain quite a bit.

I have unfortunately realised my best friend is an utter dickhead and the reason I get anxious around him is because I feel like I'm always being judged around him, so I'm going to try to practise a bit of self confidence in the future. (he also misgenders his sibling often when basically half the school knows their pronouns) Yeah ngl, dk why I'm friends with him.

I've been sick for this past week and still am, but awhile ago i visited a Cavetown concert and it was one of the best experiences of my life. I won't get into the sappy shit but it meant a lot.

I'm still playing guitar and have actually improved at chords, I'm currently learning to play Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand, my favourite song of theirs, followed closely by This fffire, the opening theme to Cyberpunk Edgerunners, which I still havent finished lmao

Anyways, see you next time

^SLik^

[crmsnmth-journal]

3/16/2024 10:57 PM

I started my day by changing my eyesight to high definition. In other words, I cleaned my glasses after weeks of being too lazy to simply spray some glass cleaner and wipe them off. I don't know why I put that simple task off for so long. It's actively hurting me when my glasses are dirty, and I work in a greasy and smokey kitchen every day. My glasses get trashed fast. I'm always so happy when I finally do it, because everything suddenly is so clear. It's one of those extremely simple weird tasks I just put off for far too long.

A lady named Brenda died a few days ago. We weren't friends. In fact, we despised each other. There is no love lost, but I read her obituary. And maybe there may be no reason for me to feel grief, but reading this short little excerpt of her life that somebody cared enough to write about her, kind of humanizes her. We worked together at this high end meditation retreat run by a bunch of nuns. Yes, I worked for nuns. We worked togethor in the kitchen (of course, where else would I work) and I'm still not sure what happened. Brenda and I got into it, in full view of at least five other people. I don't even remember what we argued about, but it got heated. Enough so, that Brenda happened to forget the large chef's knife in her hand that she put in my face. Now this all took place after my time in hell (Milwaukee) and it wasn't long after the darkest period of my life. So that meant if someone put a knife in my face, my instinct is to get the knife out of my face. I was still in fight for survival and getting stabbed sucks. It's like being punched harder then you've ever been punched before. It's not something you want to do twice. So I grabbed her wrist and took the knife away and set it down on a table. Everyone in the kitchen saw this. I moved away from her and started working on whatever my original task was. And it seemed like everything got dropped. It did not. Soon, I was pulled into another room, and told by a nun that Brenda said I attacked her. Even with the other five people all telling the truth on what had happened, the nun decided Brenda was in the right and I was to be laid off without pay for two weeks. And before I knew it, my mouth spoke. And I told a nun to, and I quote "Go fuck youself, you righteous bitch." And that's the story of how I secured my place in hell. Ever since then anytime Brenda and I ran into each other, it's all middle fingers and "fuck you's." But she had a life I didn't know. And I always forget that, even about the people that I truly hate, that they have their own little worlds and their own little population of people. And those people don't see the bad things in a person. They don't see the petty problems, or the tiny infractions. I think that's something we need to really try to remember, if we're going to make it as a race. Compassion, I mean. I despised Brenda, and she had a husband, and children and friends and family who are now greiving, in the same way I've been since January. Maybe that's why I'm seeing it this way. I'm relating to the grieving. Not Brenda, cause Brenda, in my eyes, sucked.

I should go to bed, but I won't. I ended up having a somewhat creative day today and have fifteen lines and phrases to work with for a while. And I've got an idea I'm going to try and get figured out. Probably the best day I've had for coming up with stuff in a long time.

#journal #my blog #blog #life #my journal #my stuff #my post #my writing #personal #personal blog #slice of life #writing #nonfiction #inner thoughts #personal thoughts

[dashawfrostart]

This Week In "Time & Again" #12: It's Alive... Alive! Honest! And A Little Sour, And A Bit Sweet!

Guten Fhtagn! It's been... a while again.

(this is just a colourful teaser for you now, because it feels silly to make a post that starts with a wall of text - even though I personally love walls of text. Keep reading and you'll find out why those weird empty rectangles are here! And as I often do: there's an animated GIF in the end of the post!) Lately, life has sucked me into a giant cycle of great and lush eventfulness. Kinda as if I hopped into a funnel and then swirled around a bit. I might even say it was fun (haha, fun funnel 😁 What, not funny?.. Lame?.. Aah, well then). So, below goes a straightforward chronological report on what happened to "Time & Again" during this long looooong period of my blogging hiatus.

2 weeks ago I've actually spent only a few days working on "Time & Again" - much less than anticipated. As I always say, life usually takes away so much time from art!.. 🤣 However, it's always a choice. Because I'm not drawing 24/7; never did, and perhaps never will - because otherwise I'll never go birding, among other things. And birding is love. Birding makes Frosty happy. I wanna see more nuthatches and northern flickers around me, preferably every day, when possible. Too much to ask? Yes! But life is always about setting priorities straight and meticulously balancing the things you love and want to do. Because something always goes first, and something other goes second (third, fourth, etc.). So that is what I'm trying my best to do here.

But that was only half of the problem. The other half of the problem was about my futile endeavour to relight the creative spark that was seemingly extinguished over the course of the previous 2 weeks - perhaps due to the reasons mentioned above in this post. I'm always very hesitant to take breaks as I work on my projects, because it breaks immersion - and getting back into the mood again might pose a serious challenge. That is exactly how some of my novels/stories failed to see the light of day in the past. Now, since the work on Chapter 5 is nearing to its end - yes, it's almost done!!! - it's just very disappointing to slow down and having to look for the spilt marbles on the floor (however, Lothar, personally, will definitely benefit from at least TRYING to find his own marbles 🤦‍♀️ dear goodness, that man is indomitable). The work still went well, but without excitement I previously had. And I perpetually have serious problems trying to figure out a personal cure for the "lack of spark" issue: not even once in my entire life have I found a resolution that works wonders like a panacea for me in situations like that.

That said, with all of the distractions and not-exactly-creative events with myself in the epicentre, I managed to keep my word and created a Krita forum thread featuring majority of WIP screenshots from Chapter 5, which you can view following that link. Now, my only objective in this regard is to keep updating it 😁 (what I'm kinda failing at recently)

While not being exactly productive with "Time & Again" - that is only up until this week (read ahead) - in the meantime I have reconsidered a couple things that are related to the artistic part of my existence. One of the decisions was to take down the links to my DeviantArt account sometime after this post goes life. The reasoning behind that decision is as simple as an egg: because I don't post anything on DeviantArt anymore. And I keep forgetting to do it anyway. And I keep forgetting simply because it doesn't really matter. In the recent years I perceived DeviantArt to be nothing but a sort of a personal sketch/art dump simply for the sake of gaining more exposure [not really - read an UPD note ahead]. Let's be honest here: DeviantArt is not a good place anymore. It used to be awesome in 2008-2010 or around - for me anyway. But nowadays... Not so much. I don't think I want to delete it yet, for I still want to pop up, perhaps, once or twice a year and dump all the new artworks in there for the future archival purposes - and in case if somebody might be still interested. But for now, I view my DA account as an almost completely dormant collection of trash masterpieces of yore. So I will stop promoting it for the reason of it being obsolete like the morning dew beneath your feet in its current state. (holy effing smokies, that song was very difficult to find to provide a link to! 😱) [UPD 2024/03/12]: my aim with this was originally a bit off - which I realized only now. Aside from it being a random artworks dump, my decision to keep my DeviantArt account alive was precisely for linking back to it: meaning, I was thinking about uploading artworks on there in order to specifically use them in my posts and on the websites. So, yes, it is a relatively dormant collection, but also a convenient stash of art things to utilize elsewhere (thank you, id Software, for teaching me this word! 🤣). I'll see if that really works out in the future tho.

There's also something else that I don't to reveal just yet, and I'll keep it a secret for now 😉 I must try something before I jump to conclusions.

HOWEVER!.. This last week has changed the tides considerably, in my favour. Again, having only a very hypothetical and a rather unclear clue on why that happened - what, I must admit, mesmerizes and puzzles me to a great extent - that long-longed-for spark I thought I had lost along the way somehow magically returned back to me after I spent a few hours (and 2 days in total) of writing an arch-important "Notes & Commentary" section for the reissue of all the previous "Time & Again" chapters that is nigh (here, I teased ya. Now live with it 😎🤣). I really like "Time & Again". Even while it's still incomplete. Even if Lothar is just a stubborn a**. Even if a certain other character has quite funky fetishes. Even if Jeanny is perhaps dealing with her own little pinky demons. I really like "Time & Again", and I really enjoy its style, so revisiting the whole thing for the sake of writing additional materials for it quite possibly worked in a positive way on my spark. I love you, my spark. Let's keep it this way for as long as we can from now on. So now the work goes quite well, and I feel very good about it. There's still something troublesome that needs to be dealt with... but that'd be a painful tale for yet another post.

And, of course, I experimented with some Krita stuff again - for it seems, Chapter 5 really marks a period of great technical discoveries for me.

For example, finally, after all these years 😅🤣, I learnt and made a very good use of the toggle "All Layers" and "Current Layer" settings of Contiguous Selection Tool (that'd be your Magic Wand tool, ya Photoshoppers around - including my past self). That helped me to speed up flood fill of the certain areas. Speaking of flood fill and all, I experimented more with the "smart fill" as well. In the previous post, I was dreaming about an advanced AI algorithm to automatically recognize and colour the characters according to a user-prepared colour pallete. I might be exaggerating a bit, but flood-filling flat colours on every page felt almost stupefying - and, in short, not fun. I've read a little about the potentials to automate the process in Krita and have discovered a few neat tricks that I might use to speed up the process of colouring of the next Chapter. But right now - that's a story for another day in the future. And at last, let's talk about the backgrounds. I find it that the backgrounds that are just, let's say, "placeholders" and don't contain the surroundings of the characters are sometimes challenging. And in Chapter 5, there's gonna be plenty of those - because oh boy do I love long conversations! (strong self-awareness and self-mockery go here) And most of these conversations don't even require detailed environments for the backgrounds! Because people are just friggin' talking! And their surroundings don't matter on those particular panels. I've looked through quite a few graphic novels and comics at the local book store to get extra inspirations - but very often I see that the artists simply fill the panel with a solid colour. Completely flat. I must admit, I'm deeply hesitant to do the same, because I like at least a little texture on storywise-insignificant solid colours. It gives... depth.

So this is what I've been doing so far (and yes, you guessed it now! the picture in the very beginning of this post is very relevant here!):

While the "flat solid colour" on the background just seems... too flat, I decided to utilize a gentle gradient as a base, and then to apply additional brush strokes on a separate layer with special blending mode in order to create the effect of imperfection and ever so slightly visible texture to it. After a few sessions of trial and error, and thinking about how it feels and if it matches the mood of the chapter, I ended up using a couple of watercolour and splatter brushes together, in black, and the layer blending mode that I figured worked best for me was Soft Light (SVG). As illustrated by the following GIF:

And LAST (but as usual: not the least, but I won't cover "the least" in this current post for now, for the post is already a fatso - typical, innit?!), I've learnt how to use Filter Layers for the quick colour correction on the go. And this might be extremely useful in a long run for the future chapters of "Time & Again". I might cover this in one of my next posts.

That should be enough for now. So let's summarize: I most certainly did NOT disappear because "Time & Again" ceased to exist, or because I've been abducted by aliens, or because I got carried away giving belly rubs to pinky demons, or anything alike. I disappeared BECAUSE I was working hard on my story, even though at times it didn't go as smooth as I wanted to 😉.

Well, folks, let's wrap it up for today, and see you next time in another blog post! Take care! You will see Lothar in action again soon enuff! 👋

#TimeAndAgainbyDWF #This Week In Time And Again #graphic novel #krita

[umichenginabroad]

Stockholm Week 5: Late Nights and Long Naps

Hej hej! This week was the longest week for me. It was less going out and more cooking than other weeks because I stayed in my room for a substantial period. I had multiple very late nights due to assignments, but hopefully it’ll get better soon :) 

2/12 Mon: Nap #1

I went on another ICA trip to see what groceries to buy. We ate almost everything in our fridge before Core Course Week and did not have anything to eat. 

I used the pre-made Thai curry sauce for lunch. 

Unfortunately, it was too coconut-y for me but my roommate liked it so it canceled out

A severe food coma hit me and my supposed 20-minute nap turned into a 3-hour nap… XoX

For the rest of the night, I focused on doing homework for my online Reactions class for my major. It was due on Valentine's Day (Professor quote-on-quote said the homework is due on Valentine’s Day but you are chemical engineers so you don’t have anything to do anyway, right?). I ended up sleeping at 4 am ;-;

2/13 Tue: The Chestnut Man

Snow covered Stockholm overnight. 

Subway view on my way to DIS building 

I was happy to see the snow again but nervous that I’d finally slip on the ice this time. I haven’t slipped yet and I want to keep it that way for the entire semester! 

In Crime Fiction class (my favorite so far), we watched episode 2 of the Netflix series The Chestnut Man. I recommend it to anyone who likes mystery and thrillers like me. Swedish culture is well integrated as the main theme of the series. The music and production of the film were spectacular in creating tension. 

There is some gore in it, but if you don’t like it you can cover your eyes for a bit. I’m a big scaredy cat myself so if I can manage it, then you can too. 

After classes, time flew by. It was 2 pm when I came back from another ICA run, 3 pm when I put in the laundry and cooked lunch, and 4:30 pm when I finished lunch and laundry. Day after day I am discovering how much time is needed for housework. 

I loved these heart-shaped containers - they really know how to sell things 

2/14 Wed: Swedish History Museum with Galentines on Top

My Swedish class had the first field trip to the Swedish History Museum, historiska museet. There were various exhibitions ranging from the Gold Room to the Viking World. 

We had fika before going around the exhibitions and this was a Valentine's Day-themed semla. Isn’t it so cute <3 

I also took part in raising the Valentine’s Day spirit by weaving a heart

I focused on the Prehistories exhibition with my assigned group. With some time left over, I ran to the Gold Room to see 52 kg of gold with my own eyes. I was fascinated by the intricacy of the handmade gold and silver accessories from hundreds and even thousands of years ago. 

We had a heated debate on what this is. At first, I thought it was a detachable crown but when I searched it up it was an agate bowl reliquary

When the museum visit ended at 12:30 pm, I headed back towards DIS for lunch. My friend and I went to Matchaya again.

Unadon and miso-based ramen were both good and fulfilling :)

As we always do, we had a tremendous amount of work to do (I don’t know why). Since only a couple of cafes stay open until the evenings, we went back to the DIS building to do work. She introduced me to reservable study rooms and we were surprisingly productive there. It definitely won’t be the last time I’m studying there. 

But of course, I gave in to a food coma and took a brief nap 

Three hours of intense studying passed and we managed to get back to our apartment for dinner. I did more homework until 10 pm when our friends gathered in our room to have a little Galentines party. We had a fun time talking and watching Pretty Woman. 

The aftermath, sugar rush, was the only bad thing 

2/15 Thu: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

I had a lazy morning thanks to my morning class getting canceled. After the three-hour core course, I came back home to meal prep for the next day.

My homework for Friday was to finish reading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo for the Scandinavian Crime Fiction class. It turns out I really underestimated how long it’s going to take me to finish the book. I ended up finishing the book at 4 am. It was definitely not a quick read, but the storyline and the plot twists made it a very interesting read. I highly recommend it! 

2/16 Fri: Sandwich, French Toast, and Churros

When I came back home from school, I quickly made a sandwich so that I could take a nap asap. I knew I was going to have a big nap but did not know it’d be four hours. 

I am getting better at cooking. Can you tell?!

I woke up at 7:30 pm and some of my friends had gone to Gamla Stan to buy churros. A friend invited me to try her fried rice for dinner so I made French toast for her in return. 

By far the best French toast I made! 

I slept late again though, doing homework. As exams and papers and projects approach me, it is getting harder for me to let go/lower/put down pressure to get good grades. It’s my main area of improvement that I have to work more on. 

2/17 Sat: Guided Tour of Gripsholm

I got off the waitlist for a DIS-hosted guided tour of the 14th-century Swedish castle, Gripsholm! It is a castle owned by the Swedish Royal Family that is around 50 minutes away from Stockholm by bus. According to the guide, it was first built as a fortress but later turned into the royal court’s place of residence. Now, it serves as a museum open to the public. 

Touring the gigantic castle for 1.5 hours knocked out everyone on the bus ride home

On the way back to my apartment, I was craving sweets so I checked the app TooGoodToGo. It has a list of participating restaurants and bakeries that sell leftovers of the day for cheap prices. Customers like me can buy random surprise bags and sellers do not have to throw away food in perfectly fine conditions. 

I found a bakery in my subway station selling a cake for $9, so I gave it a try. I thought I’d get multiple cake pieces but no; I got an entire cake for $9! A couple was running the store and even gave me a chance to choose the type of cake I wanted. They suggested the chocolate cake so that’s what I ended up picking. After a small talk, they even offered me a Semla to take home :) 

The chocolate cake was really good; it was not too sweet, just as how I like it to be

For the rest of the night, I worked on this blog and studied for my online test on Sunday. 

2/18 Sun: Grind Grind Grind

Guess what! I pushed back my test to Wednesday.

I studied the whole day today (like 10 hours) but did not reach the point I wanted to be at with my knowledge. I knew that taking the test without being fully prepared was going to bother me so I gave up trying to finish it this weekend. 

I will update you all with more interesting events next week! Sneak peek - I am traveling to London over the weekend to meet my beloved UMich friends who are on their spring break <3

Thank you for reading this long long blog! Hope to see you again :) 

Tack så mycket, 

Jiwoo Kim 

Chemical Engineering

DIS Study Abroad in Stockholm, Sweden

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