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accirax · 11 months

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Despair Time Ch2 Motive Analysis

CW: Incredibly dark subject material– lots of death, murder, and suicide/self harm. Implied/mentioned homophobia, transphobia, and eating disorders. Major spoilers through Part 1 of Despair Time Chapter 2. Also it’s long.

Secrets, secrets, secrets! As soon as MonoTV revealed the secrets of Despair Time’s student body to us without telling us whose was whose, I started making plans to write a theory about who their true owners could be. And then the first part of the trial revealed way more than I thought it would. But, no matter! The trial isn’t over yet, and even if/when it is finished, I doubt they’ll spill all of the answers immediately.

In terms of gathering our truth bullets for this case, I saw some bonus material in the comments section of Chapter 2 Episode 8 that I think will give us a lot to work with. In case you weren’t aware, apparently if you go to the cast introductions of Despair Time’s Tumblr page, you can find a hidden quote on each of the characters’ profiles. You can read them all now if you wish, but I’ll make sure to write out the relevant ones when I talk about them later.

Notably, Min and Arei have both canonically said their quotes aloud within the duration of the story, while Xander has not. Does this perhaps indicate that he’ll say it later in a flashback or something? Will other characters say their quotes out loud in the future? Maybe, maybe not. That’s not super relevant to the discussion at hand.

So, let’s start by clearing the secrets that have been confirmed true by their (relatively) trustworthy owners.

“You took on your talent to earn money for your family. But you’ve since put them in a lifetime of debt.” We saw that this is the secret that Teruko received, and that it had Rose’s name on it. Rose later confirmed that this secret was true with detail, so this is definitely Rose’s secret.

“You hide your name and birthright to pretend that you aren’t the daughter of Mariabella Rosales.” Arturo openly revealed that this was J’s secret, and while she was upset, she didn’t deny it. This is definitely J’s secret.

“Blackmail, rumors, lying, stealing, slander. You did everything you could to ruin your sisters’ lives.” Arei outright confirmed that this was her secret to David and Teruko. Levi, the secret’s holder, backed that fact up during the Class Trial. This is definitely Arei’s secret.

“No one accepted you because of your identity. You were constantly mocked by your family, your peers, and everybody else.” Ace exposed this as Nico’s secret, and while, like J, they were upset at it being spread, they didn’t deny that it was theirs. Given that Nico has now come out with their identity, this is definitely Nico’s secret.

With those four obvious ones out of the way, let’s clear a couple more that I think have been attributed correctly.

“Your older brother died, but you don’t remember him at all.” Although J revealed this as Charles’ secret, he didn’t confirm that it was correct. However, the whole point of this secret is that Charles didn’t remember that it happened, and his later dialogue makes it seem like he’s started to remember that this is in fact, true. It’s not 100% guaranteed, but I’m almost certain this is Charles’ secret.

“Your younger sister killed herself because of you. You never should have left.” Knowing that the owner of this secret was an alive male, J deduced that this was Arturo’s secret, and Eden was eventually forced to back her up. While I still have some reserves about this secret, given that Arturo continues trying to deny that it’s his, it’s Eden’s story that really seals the deal for me. If this was not Arturo’s secret, Eden would have needed to fabricate the entire scene between her, Arturo, and Arei seemingly out of nowhere, and it would have to just happen to line up perfectly with the existence of the ripped note. If this was not Arturo’s secret, Eden would have to be pulling off a masterful lie for questionable gain, which seems implausible. Plus, Arturo lied about having a younger sister in the Trial, which implies he had something to hide. His quote, “You hated them, but even that doesn’t justify what you did,” fits this secret decently as well. Pretty sure this is Arturo’s.

“Your body is falling apart, but you’ll still refuse to eat.” Veronika guessed that this was Ace’s secret, and based on his reaction, it really seems like that would be the case. Nico also essentially confirming that it’s Ace’s is just another cherry on top. However, given that Ace didn’t verbally confirm it himself, I put it down here. I think it’s correct, though.

“Your mother is dead. You always omit that truth.” This is a unique one for this category because Whit actually did confirm that this one was his. It’s Rose’s actions that make this more uncertain, given that she never read the secret and therefore doesn’t know who it belonged to. Compared to other secrets, this one is pretty tame, so it’s possible that Whit could be taking advantage of Rose’s forgetfulness to claim this secret as his own. However, because nobody else claimed this secret, that means that he would have to know with enough certainty ahead of time that it belonged to Xander or Min (or theoretically Arei) that he could avoid someone else calling him out. His hidden quote, “We tend to idolize the dead,” also fits this secret, given that he’s spoken highly of his mother before. It’s probably Whit’s, but I wanted to examine all avenues.

“You exist to manipulate others. Everyone else exists to be taken advantage of.” Both Ace and Arei (if Ace is to be believed) called David out for being the owner of this secret, and Whit, via Charles, was eventually forced to admit that it was true. David’s own behavior after this secret was revealed also demonstrates the likelihood that this is true. However, we now know that David lies constantly. He could be rolling with the narrative that this is his secret because he believes it’s not worth it to fight back and reveal something potentially worse. Despite belonging to someone else in this scenario, I think that this secret would just happen to match up with David’s worldview as well, to the point of basically being two people’s secret. However, that would mean that Ace (and theoretically Arei) would have to be wrong, and that Whit, who claims to be a bad liar, would have to be lying. I think this is probably David’s, but if some plot twist occurs in Trial 2 Part 2, don’t say I didn’t see it coming.

“Ever since you kissed her, you were afraid your sexuality would ruin your friendships.” Charles claimed that this was Eden’s secret. While I don’t think she ever confirmed it, I personally trust that Charles is telling the truth (what motive does he have to not), so I think this is probably correct. Eden appears to care a lot about friendship, so this fits with her personality. “You can’t go back, no matter how hard you try,” Eden’s hidden quote, also feels applicable. However, for all the mastermind Eden truthers out there (I think there are a good number of you?), I think that this secret could easily be something that is true, but is also a soft ball compared to what could be said about her.

And, there we go! With ten secrets more or less confirmed, we’re left with six secrets to truly theorize about, and six students left to have them: Teruko, Xander, Hu, Levi, Min, and Veronika.

But, wait a minute! you realize. Wasn’t Xander’s secret already confirmed to be “How could I even select what secret to make your motive? Just about everything you’ve done in your life is worth killing for. The killing game is all your fault”? Well, here’s the thing. The only one who claimed that this secret was Xander’s was David. And, as previously established, David is a massive liar. Although he didn't say it, I get the sense from David’s behavior that he was trying to figure out where each secret lay before and during the trial, so that he could theoretically claim a different secret than was his and maintain his career. That’s why he asked to go last: so that he could have as much information as possible before making a bluff. In doing so, I think he may have claimed that this secret was Xander’s because Xander wasn’t there to tell the others that David was lying.

The way David said it, and especially the way that none of the other characters took the time to react to this information, make me believe that it was a lie. It’s like how they didn’t spend any time having Teruko and Eden dwell on Ace’s life and their relationships with him when they found him in the gym, because Ace wasn’t actually dead. If David really essentially revealed Xander as the mastermind in the middle of the Trial and that information was actually true, wouldn’t you have been curious how Teruko would react? I feel like they intentionally played softball with that “reveal” because it wasn’t true.

Additionally, I have my suspicions that another secret better fits Xander’s character. Namely, “You’re constantly blaming yourself for the death of your parents and siblings. It doesn’t matter that it’s not your fault, just that you didn’t go with them.” Via the story told in Bonus Episode 2 - Visiting Graves, we can gather that Xander’s family (which canonically includes parents and siblings) died due to some sort of disease outbreak while he was studying abroad. Thus, while saying that he “didn’t go with them” is sort of a strange way to phrase it, that part of the secret could be saying that Xander didn’t go back to Chariton to be with his family when they died. Or, it could be shaming him for not “going with them” to the afterlife. That would certainly fit in with Xander’s hidden quote, which is literally the definition of survivor’s guilt: “Survivor guilt (n): feelings of guilt for having survived a catastrophe in which others died.”

While I strongly suspect that this is Xander’s secret and that David was lying, I obviously can’t be certain that that’s true. It could be Teruko’s secret, given that we know that she has a sibling and has seen a dead body. It’s also possible that this could be Levi’s secret, as he is known to have parents and siblings. However, from the way he spoke about them, I feel like it was implied that they were alive. And, even if they weren’t, based on their rocky relationship, I don’t know if he would constantly blame himself. In Bonus Episode 1 - A History of Hope’s Peak, Min mentions that she has (likely alive) parents, while her sibling status is unknown. As far as I remember, not much is known about Hu or Veronika’s families, so it’s difficult to speculate about them.

That being said, I have a hard time believing that the secret “You only took on your talent to distract yourself from your incessant need to harm yourself for fun” isn’t Veronika’s. In Chapter 2 Episode 7, Veronika reveals that she struggles immensely with boredom, and got into horror because fear and thrill interest her. I could definitely see that, before discovering horror, injuring herself was Veronika’s “best” outlet to escape her boredom. Her hidden quote, “Once something is broken, it can never be pieced together in quite the same way again. The same goes for people” seems to match the worldview that this person might have had. Beyond that, I genuinely don’t know who else this secret would fit. Hu, Levi, and Min all feel like strange fits personality-wise to me– they seem pretty level-headed and aren’t big fun-seekers. Xander has knowledge of treating injuries, but I can’t see someone so tied to survivor’s guilt injuring themselves specifically for the sake of fun. Teruko is quite bandaged, but only because of her luck, and she seems to dislike being the recipient of such harm. Therefore, Veronika seems like the best fit.

The last secret that I have strong thoughts about is “Xander’s” secret, which we already talked about: “How could I even select what secret to make your motive? Just about everything you’ve done in your life is worth killing for. The killing game is all your fault.” I think that this is Teruko’s secret. Teruko has canonically stated that she doesn’t know what exactly her secret is. While she has a habit of keeping things from us, if she’s telling the truth, that lines up with “everything in your life being worth killing for.” From the very first scene, we also know that someone who wants to end the killing game has the goal of killing Teruko, no matter what. If the anti-killing game person is anti-Teruko, it stands to reason that Teruko is aligned with the killing game somehow.

I’m not entirely sure about this one, though, mainly because of the way Teruko acts. Wanting to stay in the school for the rest of her life doesn’t seem to align with the goals of the mastermind, AKA running the killing game. However, there are a couple of ways to avoid this problem. The first is the obvious solution that Teruko just forgot that she was the mastermind. This has happened in canon and fanon Danganronpa alike, so it totally could happen again. Alternately, this secret doesn’t actually say that its bearer is the mastermind, only that the killing game is their fault. If the real mastermind began the killing game in order to murder or otherwise get revenge on Teruko (potentially for all the so-called terrible things she’s done or been a part of), this could be Teruko’s secret without her actually being the mastermind.

For what it’s worth, though, I think it’s decently likely that the mastermind is a girl. In A History of Hope’s Peak and Visiting Graves, Min and Xander talk to “Unnamed Student,” who has a consistent voice between the two episodes. While I didn’t mention it earlier, MonoTV also has a hidden quote: “Her name is Mai Akasaki.” Looking at this hidden link, we can also see that Mai looks the same as the person Teruko saw in her flashback after Xander died. I would be willing to wager that this “Unnamed Student” is Mai, and that “she” is therefore a girl. The dialogue implies Mai was in the same Hope’s Peak class as both Min and Xander. Although this series follows the class of a collegiate Hope’s Peak several decades past Makoto, a typical class of Ultimates has sixteen students, eight men and eight women. Thus, if Mai was in Xander and Min’s class, but now is not in the killing game, there’s probably a female intruder who took Mai’s place. That person may be the mastermind. Seeing that Teruko is a girl, Teruko could fit this intruder role.

Of course, the gender balance could be thrown off given that we have at least one nonbinary student, but it’s still worth mentioning. Additionally, I can’t deny that this could still be Xander’s secret, or even someone else’s entirely. Whether David makes it through the second Class Trial or not, I feel like we won’t be getting the truth out of this one for a while to come.

Guessing who owns the last three secrets between Min, Hu, and Levi is where it gets murky. “You always treated the competition with ruthlessness, but poisoning them to win was a bit too far, wasn’t it?” probably gives us the most to work with. I don’t think this would be Levi’s secret, given that I don’t know what “competition” he would have had in becoming a personal stylist.

From A History, we know that Min did have to compete in order to become the Ultimate Student. However, she also tells Mai that “it seem[ed] highly unlikely that [she] was number one in the nation in terms of raw scores”, and that she “doubt[s she] was even the top scorer on that test.” The use of “unlikely” and “doubt” make it sound like she didn’t know exactly what would happen with the results, and therefore that she didn’t take decisive action against her competitors to secure them. However, she could also be concealing the truth from Mai. Or, if her benefactor poisoned the competition for her, perhaps that could count as her secret as well. She might then agree that it was a step too far, though, especially given that her hidden quote is “I wanted to save you.”

Otherwise, this secret could fit Hu pretty well. The arts are always a competitive field, so I could see Hu having competition for being the top zither player. Her hidden quote, “I want to pay for what I’ve done. But even then, I still want to live” could totally match up too. She feels bad about poisoning her competitors, but it’s not like she wants to be poisoned herself to atone for it.

Then there’s “You were quite the hopeless child. Dying once wasn’t enough, so you attempted suicide three times.” While it might seem like Hu’s “even then, I still want to live” could fall in line with this, I don’t see how attempting suicide would leave her with anything to pay for. It would only be if Hu’s suicide attempts drove her loved ones to such despair that they decided to take themselves out too. But, in that case, wouldn’t that probably be mentioned in the secret itself? However, I do think it’s worth noting that Hu’s refusal to share the “harm yourself for fun” secret could hint at her having a past history of self harm.

Min and Levi seem to have both been pretty hopeless children. By her own admittance, Min grew up quite poor, and her parents seemed to care more about her Ultimate potential than her as a person. This could have led her to become suicidal. Her dialogue surrounding these events is perplexing– she says that she obsessively studied for her entire life to pass the Ultimate test, and that she never considered failure as an option. If she’s telling the whole truth, then perhaps she had such tunnel vision on her goal that she never would have tried to take herself out of the game. Or, is she only using such strong language in hindsight, when she had more faltering steps along the way?

Levi also had a very rough childhood, claiming himself that he, his parents, and his siblings were bad influences on each other. It’s possible that their influence caused Levi to feel that “dying once wasn’t enough,” and separate instances of abuse or arguing drove him to the edge several times. His hidden quote, “I always believed that a person is defined by their actions alone. But maybe that’s just a poor excuse for my heartlessness” doesn't totally seem to fit this secret. However, if he was dishing out abuse as much as he was taking it, maybe he drove his family to the point of harming themselves, too. It’s quite sad to think about, but that’s true of whoever holds this secret.

And, finally, “You’re a murderer, and you hold no remorse.” This secret is so vague that it’s really hard to get a grasp on it. I want to eliminate Min from this one, simply based on her behavior in the first Class Trial. If she had killed someone before with no remorse, would she really act so shocked and afraid when she wound up killing Xander? And, how and when would she have been driven to the point of killing someone while she was devoted so fiercely to studying?

However, Levi and Hu don’t seem to make much sense for this one either. Levi seems to be a pretty regretful person, and talking about his “poor excuses for heartlessness” only adds to that reading. I could see Levi having killed someone, but it’s harder to believe that he wouldn’t feel even a little bit bad about it. Same with Hu– if she wants to “pay for what she’s done,” wouldn’t that mean that she feels bad about her hypothetical murder?

If I had to guess at this point, I suppose I would say that the competition was Hu, the three attempts were Min, and the no remorse was Levi? But the dead end on the remorse secret makes me feel like either I’m missing something, or I was wrong about Teruko, Xander, Veronika, or somebody else.

Sorry if this wasn’t as conclusive as you were hoping for– I mostly wrote this all out just to sort out my own thoughts. I only caught up with this series, like, three days ago? So it’s definitely possible that I’m forgetting or missing something. Or, that I just came upon common consensus, and that everyone already figured out and agreed on all this weeks ago. Still though, thank you so much for reading all the way until the end, and if you have anything to add, please feel free to respond in some way. I would love to know what you think!

#danganronpa despair time #drdt #drdt spoilers #fanganronpa #rose lacroix #j rosales #arei nageishi #nico hakobyan #charles cuevas #arturo giles #ace markey #whit young #david chiem #eden tobisa #xander matthews #veronika grebenshchikova #teruko tawaki #hu jing #min jeung #levi fontana #cw death #cw suicide #i am trying extra hard to prevent people from seeing things they don't want to see this time just bc this one is ROUGH #mannnnn there is so much to talk about with despair time #these secrets TOOK ME OUT when i first saw them #how are they all so extreme #apologies that unlike the eden's garden theory there is no art this time #i'm still drawing all of them i just wanted to make it a separate post this time so that people could interact separately #if they like one part and not the other #idk how long i'll keep up the drdt posting but for now i'm having lots of fun

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annabethisterrified · 4 years

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Book Review: THE TOWER OF NERO (The Trials of Apollo #5)

***No spoilers until you go under the cut!***

After months in the human form of Lester Papadopoulos, the former god Apollo is nearing the end of his trials alongside the young Meg McCaffrey. All their adventures and misfortunes have landed them back in the place it started-- New York. Meg and Apollo must defeat the final, most powerful emperor of the Triumvirate, who also happens to be Meg’s manipulative stepfather. Meanwhile, Nico, Will, and Rachel have important roles to play as the final battle looms. Even if they can defeat Nero, a more terrible enemy awaits in the form of Python, Apollo’s nemesis. Still, if they can succeed, Apollo will finally be restored to godhood. But after everything he’s been through, going back to the way things were doesn’t sound so great anymore. Apollo and his friends will have to find a new way to make all the sacrifices and pain they’ve experienced and witnessed worth it. That is, if they can survive their final trial.

As both the culmination of The Trials of Apollo series and the Camp Half-Blood Chronicles, The Tower of Nero excels at bringing the complicated, moving themes of the saga into final, meaningful reckonings. Nero proves to be a chilling and impressive enemy who forces Apollo and Meg to put everything they’ve learned through their journey together to the ultimate test. New and old characters combine to see the story to its end, and long-time readers are rewarded with actualized development and a bittersweet farewell. The Tower of Nero is a fitting and robust conclusion that shines with all the heart, humor, and growth that makes this saga a worthy frontrunner in children’s literature.

SPOILER SECTIONS BELOW

Welcome!!!!!!!!! Y’all. Y’ALL. I am REELING. If you’ve been around here a while, you probably know I’ve been online here since 2012 (?????!!!!!) where I subjected by followers to weird takes and frantic excitement about the upcoming installments of Heroes of Olympus, then Trials of Apollo. Since I was ten years old, this story has been such a huge part of my life. Now I’m 22 (?????!!!!). So. How am I feeling? I’m feeling like I need to flip over every piece of furniture in my house. In a good way. Look. I gotta break this down into three parts because I’m the worst!

I. TRIALS & TRIBULATION

The Trials of Apollo, to me, felt like the inevitable conclusion to Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Heroes of Olympus. We went through two series where we intimately followed the lives of young demigods growing up through two brutal wars, dangerous quests, and personal reckonings. Gods certainly made appearances, and some were more helpful than others, but the message was always clear-- the demigods were on their own. Two wars fought, two wars won, and at what cost? For what change?

Bringing a god down to earth (both literally and metaphorically) is really the only way a story like this could be rounded out. Especially when the god in question is Apollo. He’s the son of Zeus, who punishes him by turning him mortal. This family set-up already has enormous implications in reference to the previous chain of mythological events: Zeus killed his father Kronos, Kronos killed his father Ouranos, etc.

Prophecy is also the scaffolding of this entire saga. Everything is dictated by it-- every quest relies on it, most of the demigods we meet are led by it, and the whole Greek/Roman world seems to build their lives around it. My point is, Apollo was a great character to use as the mouthpiece of this last series. He’s been present throughout the previous two series, and he’s relatively unaffected by the Greek/Roman divide. The enemy, the Triumvirate, is also an exciting antagonist-- they’ve fueled and funded the previous two wars, and their obsession with becoming “gods” is loaded with implications as Apollo races to return to his own status as a god.

Apollo himself is also a completely terrible being. From the first pages through his perspective, there’s certainly little sympathy or commiseration with our narrator. Apollo is many things: spoiled, petulant, selfish, and arrogant. He is not good, and now, he is no longer a god. Still, his voice and struggle remained compelling and engaging throughout the series.

His bond with Meg McCaffrey is, without a doubt, the emotional heart of the whole series. I think they both see aspects of themselves in each other, and it was a genius move to make her the stepdaughter of the enemy. Nero literally sent Meg to be Apollo’s controller and thought that she would easily bring him down; the fact that both these very troubled people cling to each other in the face of such manipulation and frightening circumstances-- and then repeatedly choose to fight their ways back to each other time and again-- is really what makes this series work so well.

With Meg and Apollo at the forefront, after The Hidden Oracle the series takes on something of a “tour” format. We discover new places and revisit old characters across the country, which was definitely exciting for long-time readers to see familiar faces undergo even more development. (This might just be me, but I don’t think ToA can really stand on its own without the worldbuilding/establishment of the first two series-- that’s not a knock on it, but so much of it picks up where the previous series left off, which might make it a disorienting read for someone new to the world.)

Of course, the obvious midpoint reversal of the series is the death of Jason Grace in The Burning Maze. A flip switches completely-- not just for Apollo, but for the whole cast. This is not an incident that just “happens” and is swept aside. In the final two installments, Jason is threaded throughout the story, showing how grief is never truly over. But his sacrifice saved everyone he loved, and had profound impacts on everyone he knew. As brutal as it was, I appreciated how Jason really changed everything through his choice.

By the time Apollo and Meg return to New York in The Tower of Nero, they are better, stronger versions of themselves. The things they once wanted-- godhood restored, or a father’s approval-- are no longer appealing. Their development (both individually and as friends) is utterly believable and hard-won. We see characters from The Hidden Oracle return changed, too. Losing Jason has dredged up dark feelings within Nico, Rachel is warding off the influence of Python in her mind, and Will’s healer heart is put to the test in yet another final battle. (Listen, this kid played instrumental roles in The Last Olympian, The Blood of Olympus, AND The Tower of Nero. The fate of the world really is in his capable, glow-in-the-dark hands.)

Together, Apollo and team venture into Manhattan for a very intense, exciting, and profound final reckoning with Nero. (CHAPTER 20, ANYONE????) Both Apollo and Meg, once and for all, come into their own and reclaim their power and independence. The pay-off is immaculate, and it’s jarring to remember the Apollo we once knew-- the easygoing one from The Titan’s Curse, the snobbish one from The Blood of Olympus, and the self-pitying one from The Hidden Oracle. His development throughout ToA is seamless and incredibly moving, and we’re left with a protagonist that we can truly, unequivocally root for and love.

II. HAVE YOU LEARNED?

When Nero is defeated, the real enemy still lurks. Apollo’s age-old nemesis, Python, has long haunted him. Their final reckoning is one-on-one, and after everything Apollo’s learned and been through, he goes into his last battle not necessarily caring whether he lives or dies-- he just knows Python must be defeated, no matter the cost. Don’t get me STARTED on his last conversation with Meg!!!!?????? (”Just come back to me, dummy.” I LOVE THEM)

So, yeah, I’m already crying at that point. Apollo (slowly regaining his godhood) goes into this completely by himself, assuming all risk and responsibility. He’s forced to sacrifice the Arrow of Dodona, and eventually chooses to sacrifice himself by flinging them both down to Tartarus. But we don’t stop there! Oh, no, we go all the way down to Chaos. The primordial soup of all the pantheons, all of existence. Python crumbles, and Apollo clings to the edge-- he clings to life.

This is it. This is the literal rock-bottom moment of the saga, and I’m completely unsure of how he’s getting out of this one. Who’s going to rescue him? What can he even do at this point? Genuinely, I had no idea where this was going-- and I never would have guessed that it would be the goddess Styx who shows up. She’s played an important, but also very minor, role in ToA. I was baffled at first-- I thought, what does she have to do with any of this? But then it ended up playing out in like the most breathtaking, moving way possible. It’s one of the most defining scenes of the entire 15 books to me.

She only asks him: “Have you learned?”

This is the goddess of promises and oaths. Since The Lightning Thief, we’ve seen how oaths are tossed around like confetti. Percy’s very existence (not to mention Thalia and Jason’s) is because of a broken promise. An oath to keep with a final breath is one of the revisited elements throughout the Heroes of Olympus series. Apollo makes willy-nilly promises in The Hidden Oracle, which he later regrets.

Then, at the end of everything, Styx only asks Apollo if he’s learned. All the talk of promises and oaths in this story doesn’t actually have anything to do with “keeping promises”-- certainly, so many promises are broken we can’t keep track. It all boils down to whether we learn from what we experience and use that to become better people moving forward. It’s about making sure we mean what we say and what we do. It’s about commitment and devotion to the people we love and the things we care about. Promises don’t matter. Only action does.

I can’t understate how thoroughly pleased I was that this was the final reckoning of the saga. It was an unexpected and completely profound moment, and such an important scene to use as the emotional climax of the book.

III. WHERE WE GO FROM HERE

After 15 years and 15 books, The Tower of Nero had to find a way to bring the saga to a close without nailing the coffin shut. More standalone novels are surely on the horizon (I’m looking at you, Nico and Will), but as a whole, this saga did need to come to a satisfying end.

Let’s pick up after Apollo is restored to godhood. He wakes up to his sister Artemis, and the very first thing he does? After finally returning to his true form, the thing he’s relentlessly yearned for the whole series? He just breaks down sobbing. He’s miserable. There’s no relief or joy in the realization that he’s once again an Olympian.

I’m always a sucker for the trope of “Character does everything possible to reach Goal only to realize that Goal isn’t actually what they want or need at all”, so of course, I was moved to see Apollo learn that he doesn’t actually care much about whether he’s a god or a human anymore. (In fact, he later remarks that he envies Lu’s new ability to grow old and age alongside Meg and her foster siblings.)

I was doubly-moved that Apollo’s restoration to godhood was not an action on Zeus’s part. From what little context we get (a lot happens “off screen” and even Apollo isn’t sure), it appears that Apollo either reclaimed his own godhood through sheer force of will to return from Chaos and reunite with his friends, and/or Styx aided him. But it seems obvious Zeus wasn’t involved, which has HUGE implications for the power structure of the Olympians moving forward.

A lot of us, myself included, had certain expectations for how Apollo’s inevitable reunion with Zeus and the rest of the Olympians would go. I, for one, was excited to see Apollo either tell off his father, or possibly assume a position as the new Camp Half-Blood director or New Rome’s pontifex maximus. Instead, we got a somewhat quiet, but incredibly tense interaction between all the Olympians. The closest thing to an outburst is actually between Hera and Zeus, as she tells him off for not mourning his son Jason, as Apollo did. (Dare I say....I liked Hera for a moment?) (ALSO, I’m fully on-board with the theory that Zeus did not intervene in Jason’s death as a punishment for Jason publicly calling him “unwise” in The Blood of Olympus.)

The whole scene reads as a powder keg. Already, it’s established that Apollo, Artemis, and Dionysus (and possibly even Athena and Hera) have no illusions of Zeus’s grandeur. They do not view him as family, or even as a leader. He’s simply just the one with enough power to punish the rest of them when they get “out of line”.

Apollo began naming Zeus as his abuser fairly early on in the series. Perhaps witnessing the way Meg thinks and speaks about her stepfather Nero made this clear for him. In either case, he begins to explicitly mirror the very same advice he gives Meg in dealing with her abuser: distance yourself from the abusive person/situation, and accept that tyrants do not change and it is not your responsibility to attempt to make them “see the light”. Thus, Apollo makes no appeal or argument to Zeus– he understands by then that it’d be fruitless. Instead, he’s concentrating his energy on doing everything he can do with what he has; he’s committed to being a protector and friend of demigods, and he sees that other gods are beginning to (if not already) see Zeus’s wrongness. (More on this here.)

Was it what I expected going into the book? Nope. But I have to admit that it was really exciting to see Zeus try to hide the very real fear of realizing that his son Apollo is no longer afraid of him, and is quite possibly more powerful than him, too. Apollo switches gears entirely away from Zeus, and focuses his energy back on the friends he’s made and the children he has. It’s a refreshing reminder that it’s often more productive to concentrate on helping others instead of harming those who harm us.

That being said, I would have liked a few paragraphs or pages discussing what practical differences there will be for the lives of young demigods in the wake of this change. I understand that might not have worked given the very condensed timeline post-returning-to-godhood (the story ends literally the same day or day after), but I do hope and believe that Apollo’s transformation is going to change the way demigods perceive gods-- and what they will expect of gods in the future. Just look at how Apollo is received by the campers at CHB. They’re ecstatic to see him. They think of him as a hero. Apollo is coming back just to help and spend time with his kids, his friends, and the campers, and he’s going to keep coming back. The other gods are certainly going to feel some pressure to follow suit.

Speaking of Apollo’s reunions...shall we?

I loved that we got to see all the main-players one last time. Mimicking the “tour format” of the series, we get to watch Apollo catch up with his loved ones, who helped him learn how to be a better person throughout his trials.

It was sad, but reassuring, to watch Nico come to terms with Jason’s death. I like how he outlined the differences between Hazel’s and Jason’s deaths, and why he isn’t interfering out of respect for Jason. Watching Jason appear to Apollo (ambiguously as a ghost or as a figment of Apollo’s dream-imagination) was another moving reminder of the stark differences in the ways that different demigods prioritize and think about what it is to be a hero. Jason’s idea and Percy’s idea, for instance, are super different because of the way they were raised. Percy would put anything on the line for his family and friends; so would Jason, of course, but he also has a much broader view of what’s worth sacrificing your life for...which is admirable in ways, but also painfully sad, since a lot has to change in order for Jason’s death to carry weight. Over the course of the last two books, I think it’s very safe to say Jason’s death did change just about everything for the people who knew and loved him, and even those who didn’t.

Whew. Okay, back to Camp Half-Blood. Nico and Will are clearly now very comfortable with each other, and it’s refreshing to see how they both watch out for each other and bring out the best in one another. I’m excited for their inevitable solo book, but regardless, it’s good to see Nico getting the help he needs (from his own experiences, from Dionysus, Will, etc), and for Rachel to get some distance from her terrible parents by living out her art student dreams in Paris.

Then, we drop by the Waystation. I simply cannot get over the fact that Calypso is at BAND CAMP. Anyway, it’s unsurprising to find out that she and Leo are still “complicated”, but I’m glad she’s experiencing the highs and lows of mortal life, and that Leo is working on helping out vulnerable youth (and has two mom figures in his life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!). Glad we get to see Thalia and Reyna both happy and healthy, too.

Next up, Camp Jupiter and New Rome. LOVE that Hazel and Frank have both reclaimed the curses that haunted them since The Son of Neptune. They really both did just...like...basically die to bring down the Big Bad and then come back better than ever. (Side note: I still obviously have issues with the fact that Hazel is SO YOUNG! There was no reason for her not to be 15/16 like the rest of the Argo 2 crew! Ugh.)

Anyway, then we say goodbye to Percy and Annabeth. Except for the annoying continuity error in terms of the timeline of them learning about Jason, I really really really loved this parting moment with them. I know some readers wanted Percy and Annabeth to stay in New York, but it always felt very natural and meaningful for me that they’d want to relocate to New Rome. That was always the Big Dream for most of Heroes of Olympus, and it makes sense to me that they’d choose to live somewhere designed for demigods to actually live and grow old and raise families. Besides, I’m quite certain they’ll frequently be visiting New York. I digress.

It was super bittersweet to see these two finally off on their own (and basically living together, as Apollo teasingly implies) going to college! Definitely a huge sigh of relief and satisfaction after following all their exploits since they were twelve. I’m so glad we get to see them (all things considered) happy and excited for their new life together. They certainly stepped back in this series, as they deserved. But they still lose Jason, and that’s something that weighs heavily on them and likely always will. Apollo calls Jason “the best of us”, and I don’t think that use of “us” is lost on Percy, Annabeth, or anyone-- Apollo’s identity and alignment is with them now, which will hopefully lead to positive change.

Then, simultaneously the saddest and happiest (?) reunion-- with Piper. This was obviously really heavy, since the last time Apollo sees her is in the wake of Jason’s death. For me, I’m very proud and excited by the fact that Piper is the only character who basically forges a whole new life (outside of the sphere of the Olympians) for herself. She’s far from other demigods and gods, and is committed to reconnecting with her mortal family and making a beautiful life. She has a new friend, too, which is absolutely awesome. (I mean, we all KNEW, right? But it’s really great to see this confirmed on-page.) When Piper told Apollo that he did right by Jason, I definitely lost it. And I also just really loved the final beat with her-- Apollo’s stammering a goodbye, but Piper’s already turned around to walk back to her new friend and her new life.

The final farewell, of course, went to Meg McCaffrey. She’s reclaimed Aeithales, and is now foster-sibling-extraordinaire by rescuing Nero’s other adopted demigods and giving them a new chance. Meg’s really matured and grown into such a kind and strong leader, but it was super bittersweet to see how much she still values Apollo. Their reunion just about broke me. They share a bond that no one else will ever understand, and they brought each other out of darkness that nearly ended them both. I literally can’t think of a better final dialogue than what they share:

You’ll come back?

Always. The sun always comes back.

I’m fine!!!

Anyway, this brings me to the closing lines of the story. Just as Percy opens The Lightning Thief by directly addressing the reader, Apollo closes The Tower of Nero by bidding farewell to us.

Call on me. I will be there for you.

On so many levels, this line works really well as the ending. For me, and I imagine for you too if you’re reading this, these 15 books are a pillar of our childhoods. We grew up alongside these characters, and found enormous excitement and identity and magic in these pages. The story may have come to a close, but it lives on within us-- it’s something we can return to time and again for enjoyment and understanding.

More than anything, this story pulled off something I didn’t really know was possible: it makes me feel genuinely and enthusiastically glad to be human, no matter how strange or hard it gets.

____________

My fifth-grade teacher assigned The Lightning Thief as mandatory reading when I was ten years old. I picked it up reluctantly, but from the first lines, I just completely fell into this story. Twelve years since that assignment, I’m now a traditionally-published author myself...writing about what else but mythology, of course. These books saw me from elementary school all the way to post-college life. It’s hard to imagine where I’d be without them-- certainly, I’d never have achieved my lifelong dream of becoming an author, nor would I have found such an incredible online community like the one I’ve found here. I consider myself extremely lucky to have grown up alongside these characters and their incredible story.

I know we’ve likely got more standalones in this world to come, but this is still the end of the saga. I’m sad to see it come to a close, but I’m so ecstatic with the send-off we got, and I’m excited to let the story settle and become a part of me-- something that will always affect how I see the world, something that reminds me of why I write, and something that’s always there to welcome me home.

#review #tower of nero #trials of apollo #the tower of nero #the trials of apollo

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wickedpact · 3 years

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Idea for a JoexNicky fic!! (anon here)- piggybacking off the other anon's nicky's mom idea, what if for an anniversary present, Joe sketches a portrait of Nicky's mother? (obviously she'd look like a beautiful warm goddess of kindness) Like maybe he has a dream of one of Nicky's most vivid memories ;-; I would literally die

so uh. this bloomed wildly out of my control

this ficlet is 5k words long so dont open that read more unless youre willing to commit to it

warnings: brief discussions of violence, extremely brief mention of sex, me not knowing how the FUCK one becomes a priest in Ye Olde 1000′s, and probably a criminal lack of historical accuracy as well as a criminal lack of the accented o in ‘nicolo’

yeehaw.

It starts with one of Andromache’s sparring sessions, and of course by ‘sparring’ session Nicolo means a session in which Andromache was in a piss poor mood for no obvious reason, and decided to take it out on the rest of them.

These sessions tend to start with Andromache coming hurtling into their camp with a dark expression on her face, and end with Yusuf and Nicolo sprawled on the ground, bruised and exhausted, while Andromache and Quynh beat the ever-loving hell out of each other nearby. (Yusuf has been convinced for a long time that it's some sort of mating ritual; Nicolo... doubts it.)

This time around, they are at some point after Nicolo has given up, and some point before Yusuf has joined him; Nicolo lies on the sand, starfished, while Quynh and Yusuf attempt to tag team Andromache with an abundance of vigor and middling results. Nicolo cranes his neck to watch the spectacle, catching a glimpse of Andromache flipping Quynh straight over her shoulder before twisting around and kicking Yusuf dangerously close to the groin. Yusuf stumbles, and Andromache grabs him by the shoulder, shoving his considerable weight off of his feet and towards Nicolo’s resting spot.

Yusuf, stumbling, manages to not trip over Nicolo by inches, and falls face-first onto the ground beside him with a groan. Meanwhile, Quynh has recovered and charges at Andy again, beginning their age-old dance yet again.

Yusuf grumbles at Nicolo’s side and peels himself off the ground, leveraging onto a knee. Nicolo drops his head back down to look at him, smiling when he swipes a hand across his beard to dislodge the sand accumulating there. Having been roasting under the midday sun and the excursion of the fight for hours now, Yusuf is layered in sweat and breathing heavily but evenly, chest and shoulders heaving slowly with each breath. Nicolo’s mouth goes crooked watching him.

“She doesn’t attack still targets,” he advises, amused, lying still atop the sand.

“Like a lioness!” Yusuf agrees with a zest Nicolo lost about thirteen minutes ago. He pulls himself onto both knees and balances on them, wavering in a way that makes Nicolo want to give him a steadying hand. “Hm.” Yusuf braces a hand on his thigh, face scrunching up in consideration. “No. I don’t think so.”

And then he plops, face first, back to the sand. Nicolo gives him an encouraging pat on the back with his knuckles.

“Are you two giving up?” Andromache calls over. Nicolo cranes his head up again to see that Quynh is on the ground yet again, slowly stumbling to her feet, and Andromache stands with her back to her, facing them. Her hands are on her hips.

“Yes. Thank you for checking in!” Nicolo confirms, lifting a hand to give her a thumbs up. Andromache responds to the sass with a raised eyebrow before whirling around and punching Quynh in the stomach before the younger immortal could sneak up on her.

Quynh goes down for the-- who knows how many times now, and Nicolo drops his head. He squints up at the wavering blue lines of the sky until Andromache’s white robes cross his vision, casting a shadow over his and Yusuf’s resting forms.

“Get up,” Andromache insists, nudging Nicolo with her boot. “I’m not done with you two yet.”

“You can’t make us,” Yusuf grumbles into the sand.

“You bet I can’t?” Andromache threatens, more a tease than a promise. When neither of them reply, she rolls her eyes and says, with a less than gentle kick to Yusuf’s side, “You babies are so soft.”

Yusuf hisses, rolling away from Andromache’s boot, into Nicolo’s side. “Son of a whore, Andromache, knock it off,” he grouches, dropping his shoulder atop Nicolo’s. Nicolo grunts with the weight of it. “Or daughter of a whore, that is,” he corrects himself, then adds thoughtfully, “No offense to your mother, if she were a woman of the night. What did your mother do, Andromache?”

Andromache laughs at Yusuf’s meandering insult-- a posturing bluster of a laugh that makes Nicolo blink, wondering if Yusuf’s actually offended her somehow. If so this would be the first time; Nicolo has always known Andromache to be thicker skinned than a mule.

But then she says, “I don’t remember my mother. Who knows,” and turns and heads back over to Quynh, who’s only just recovered from before. They resume sparring, Nicolo watching them with mild confusion.

Nicolo turns to look at Yusuf, wondering if he’d caught onto Andromache’s discomfort, but when Nicolo catches his eye, he just shrugs his shoulder against the sand and says, “Well, that’s a line that’ll end an argument every time, eh?”

Later on, Nicolo is still considering it, sprawled in front of the fire --that Quynh had constructed a couple hours prior-- with Yusuf, Nicolo slouched against his chest and bracketed by his bent knees. Andromache and Quynh are arguing over the linen tent a little ways off, and Nicolo watches Andromache carefully, the lines on her face and the muscles in her arms, the working parts of her that have existed on this earth for thousands of years. The things her hands have done; the things her eyes have seen.

The things her heart has forgotten.

“You are thinking very loudly over there,” Yusuf says from somewhere over Nicolo’s head. Nicolo shifts his eyes from Andromache and Qyunh, to the fire, to his and Yusuf’s legs stretched out before it. He tilts his head back, the top of his head against Yusuf’s sternum, but all he can see from that angle is Yusuf’s beard, so he drops his head back down with a little amused huff.

“Andromache is very old,” Nicolo says slowly.

“Ah, yes,” Yusuf agrees, amiable. “Also: water is very wet, and the desert is very hot.”

“S’cold at night,” Nicolo grumbles, just to be contrary, and is rewarded by Yusuf slipping his arms under Nicolo’s, bundling him closer to his chest and notching his chin over his head.

“What’s wrong, Nico?”

Nicolo requires no further prompting, not from Yusuf at least. The words come tumbling out of his mouth, one at a time. “She doesn’t remember her mother.”

There’s little more that needs to be said there. The immortal life is one that comes with many downsides, and the nature of it is that sometimes one discovers these downsides centuries later than expected. This isn’t the first time an unexpected side-effect of their unending lives has been thrust upon him and Yusuf, and likely won’t be the last.

Nicolo had never really thought he might one day forget his mother.

Yusuf hums thoughtfully in response, a non-answer that does little to soothe Nicolo. “That she doesn’t,” he adds after a moment. “What was your mother like?”

“I don’t--” Nicolo starts, and then, with an odd curiosity, realizes he’s having difficulty continuing. “I... didn’t know her very long. I was given to the church… very young. I don’t remember much of what she was like, other than that she was my mother.”

“Do you remember what she looked like?”

“Well…”

Nicolo remembers little of his life before the clergy. Two brothers. A sister. His father’s stern brow, and the calluses on his mother’s hand as she took his little fingers in hers, leading him down the dirt paths back in Genova. Her smile, silhouetted by the heady red glow of the afternoon sun.

“Brown hair,” Nicolo eventually answers. “Dark eyebrows. High cheekbones, too, and… and kind eyes.”

“What I’m hearing is you took after her very strongly.”

Nicolo smiles. “I do remember being told something of the sort before.”

“Her eyes?” Joe rests one of his palms flat against Nicolo’s stomach.

“Green, I’m pretty sure.”

“So you took after her very strongly, then,” Joe concludes.

Nicolo looks down, fiddling with the fingers of Joe’s free hand. “She used to take me to the shore. We’d gather seashells together.”

That he remembers well, plucking seashells and bits of coral out from dried seafoam after the tide had gone out near the end of the day, one arm bundling conch and clam shells against his chest, the other prying washed-up shells from the still wet sand. The sun would be low, but not low enough that they would feel the need to rush, and it would cast their shadows in long, blue lines across the beach. Time was an endless thing there, where the sun glowed red and bright, and there was always another conch shell wedged in the damp earth to dig up.

“She sounds lovely,” Yusuf hums. Nicolo pauses, tracing Yusuf’s index finger with his own. Yusuf almost never talks about his family. They have known each other for nearly three hundred years now, and yet Nicolo could store all the things he knows of Yusuf's family in a basket. Over the years he’s been able to piece together that both of Yusuf’s parents were dead before the Crusades began. And that they both died when Yusuf was fairly young. Beyond that… he knows little.

“Yusuf…” Nicolo starts, uncertain and fidgeting. “What about your mother?”

“My mother?” Yusuf repeats, as if Nicolo has somehow strung together two incomprehensible words.

“Yes.” When a pause stretches between them, Nicolo sighs and laces his fingers between Yusuf’s. “You don’t need to tell me.”

“No, no,” Yusuf insists before Nicolo can change the topic. He returns Nicolo’s grip on his hands, smoothing his thumb over the knuckle of Nicolo’s pointer finger. “I want to. My mother…” He sighs. “She was very anxious. Always fretting. She was a weaver; she liked making rugs.”

Yusuf’s thumb stills over Nicolo’s knuckle. Nicolo tilts his head. “Your prayer mat. Did she--?

“Yeah, she made it.” Yusuf pauses again. “Weaving calmed her down when she was nervous. My father and I, we would travel often-- business, you know. Trade deals and things. Mother always worried when we were gone.”

They both pause when Quynh yells something particularly loud at Andromache, breaking the moment for a split second. Andromache hollers something back, and the two women break out into abrupt laughter.

“Are you worried you’ll forget her?” Nicolo asks when they've settled again. “Your mother?”

“No,” Yusuf replies, though he trails off halfway through the word. “In part, I suppose… but there are many things I’d like to forget, I think.”

Nicolo peels himself out of Yusuf’s arms in response to that, twisting around to look at his companion. Yusuf’s brows are pressed together, the tilt of his mouth sad. Nicolo places a hand to his chest, fingers against Yusuf’s collar. “Yusuf?”

Yusuf sucks the inside of his cheek, looking far away before directing a sad smile at Nicolo. “She came with us, once. On a trip. Of course the one time Father allowed her to come was the time that it went wrong.” At Nicolo’s questioning look, Yusuf elaborates, “Bandits.”

“Yusuf...”

“I hadn’t really known how to fight, then, so it didn’t… really matter, either way-- but I got knocked out in the fight, and by the time I woke up again, it was all over.” With a slow breath, Yusuf looks down at their interwoven fingers. “I would like to forget some things. Not her, but…”

It takes Yusuf a long moment to continue. He looks up, towards the stars, lips pursed with thought, before eventually ducking his head again. Nicolo waits quietly.

“It is hard to remember them,” Yusuf says eventually, to their hands, “without remembering them in death. I had to bury them both.”

With a soft noise, Nicolo reaches forward and pulls Yusuf into a hug, arms wrapping about his shoulders; Yusuf responds in chorus and reaches for Nicolo back, his embrace tight enough to grind bone.

Nicolo rubs a hand up and down Yusuf’s back, his face tucked into Nicolo’s shoulder. Perturbed, Nicolo can’t imagine it- the comforting memory of his own mother, crossed and tainted by violence so cruelly. To lose her was enough. To lose the comfort of remembering her as well would be harrowing.

Yusuf pulls away first after some time, eyes red but dry, mouth turned down. Nicolo reaches up and thumbs at the crease between his brows, which quirks Yusuf’s lips ever so slightly.

“How old were you?” Nicolo asks.

Yusuf reaches up and takes Nicolo’s hand from his face, wrapping his fingers around his. “Twenty one.”

“A child.”

“Hardly, Nico,” Yusuf snorts softly. Nicolo disagrees, but he’s not going to start an argument over it. Not now.

With a sigh, Yusuf leans back against the rock formation behind them, wrapping an arm around Nicolo and tugging him sideways against his chest. Nicolo rests his head against Yusuf's shoulder.

“It’s not that I wish to forget her. Or my father. But I… would rather fondly remember the idea of them, the fragments, then remember them perfectly in death. That might make me selfish.”

“It does not,” Nicolo replies sternly. “It makes perfect sense to feel that way, Yusuf.” And then, “I’m sorry.” Yusuf only hums in response. It is, admittedly, a frail sentiment, so Nicolo adds, “I love you. In case you’ve forgotten.”

This earns him a huff against the top of his head. “I love you too,” Yusuf responds, and they fall into an easy silence.

After a few minutes, and with a great sigh, Yusuf tilts his head so that his cheek presses against Nicolo’s hair. “Nicolo…” he mumbles, hesitant, “I don’t mean to ruin the moment, but... I think we’re sleeping under the stars tonight.”

Nicolo lifts his head and twists around to find the half-assembled and frankly pathetic looking tent swaying off in the distance alone, with both Andromache and Quynh nowhere in sight.

“The consolidated wisdom of millenia,” Nicolo grumbles, dropping his head back against Yusuf. “And they still can’t assemble a tent.”

Yusuf laughs; Nicolo is by far more warmed by that than any comfort the damned tent could have offered.

Quynh has the little joke of hers whenever they go drinking. She’ll tell Yusuf, giggling into her tankard, “I miss when you didn’t drink!”

This is a joke because Yusuf gave up his abstinence of alcohol only a few months after he and Nicolo had met Quynh and Andromache, nearly two hundred years ago now, and when he’d announced his decision to do so to the two warrior women, they’d both admitted they didn’t even realize that he didn’t drink in the first place.

Nearly two hundred years later, Quynh continues to make this joke. Nicolo has yet to find it funny, but Yusuf laughs every time.

“It’s our anniversary, Quynh, you must be nice to us!” Yusuf insists in response to said joke. He is, as Andromache might say, drunk off his ass, swaying happily in his seat at the musty bar they’ve settled in for the night to celebrate. Despite how loudly he’s speaking, Nicolo can barely hear him over the clatter and bustle and chatter of the other, varyingly drunk, patrons at the bar.

“Three hundred years is nothing, Yusuf. You’re still babies,” Andromache replies, equally smashed yet bearing it more stoically, pitched against Quynh’s shoulder. One of her hands is still curled loosely around her tankard, unwilling to give it up just yet, probably.

Nicolo leans back against his rickety chair. “Do you two remember when you only knew each other for three hundred years?”

In response to this, Andromache pulls back from Quynh’s shoulder, propping herself up on the edge of a table with her free hand. She tilts her head, staring silently at Quynh with a quirked mouth, and Quynh stares back, eyebrows raised high. Nicolo’s gaze flicks between the two warrior women, eyeing them both, studying the emotion in their eyes and their mouths and their brows.

For nearly an entire minute they say nothing. They have no need to. The charged gaze between them could write entire epics; legions of words pass between them and neither woman even opens her mouth.

Nicolo finds himself slightly jealous. He wonders if he and Yusuf will ever hit a point such as this, where they could communicate without words, know each other so well that even a twitch of the brow or a press of lips could mean so much-- that words become irrelevant. Become small and useless compared to the years of their bond.

“It was a time,” Quynh answers at last, smiling a far away smile.

“That’s different,” Yusuf interrupts, slurring slightly and grinning widely. “because, this isn’t about how long you two have known each other, but how long I’ve known Nicolo,” here, he gestures broadly at Nicolo, sitting at his side, “and when you two will have known Nicolo for three hundred years, and-- and want to celebrate, I will not laugh at your paltry few years spent with him, in comparison to my many centuries! And you may-- may thank me for my generosity and kindness-- then.”

Quynh snorts. “That was very poetic of you, Yusuf.”

“Thank you.” Yusuf places a calloused hand atop Nicolo’s head. “I love him very much,” he states, very sincerely, if a little slurred.

Andromache, as always, seems to feel a compulsion to try and ruin the moment. Their Andromache, old and wise as she is, is a great many things: an elegant warrior, a stern protector, and a graceful leader-- however, a kind drunk she is not. “You know, you’ll get tired of each other eventually,” she points out, gesturing between the two of them. Yusuf rolls his eyes, his hand slipping from Nicolo’s head. “Quynh and I usually separate every couple hundred years for a time. It’s normal.”

“Bah,” Yusuf grumbles. “Andromache, you do not have a romantic bone in your body.”

“I do!” Andromache insists. Quynh sends her a sharp look that she doesn’t see because she’s too busy waving her hand widely. “I have been with, and wooed, and have been wooed by-- by more men and women than you’ve ever even set eyes on.”

Yusuf copies Andromache’s grand gesture, cheery and mocking. “That, what you’ve just described, is the opposite of romance, boss.”

“Whatever,” Andromache concedes with middling grace. “I’m happy for you two, either way.”

“Thank you,” Nicolo says, so that Yusuf won't say anything else. “Another round?”

“She doesn’t know what she’s talking about,” Yusuf says to Nicolo an hour or so later, as Nicolo is trying to haul the damned drunk up the stairs without sending them both sprawling down to their temporary deaths.

Funnily enough, around the time Yusuf began drinking, Nicolo stopped-- not out of any particular thoughts on alcohol itself, but because someone had to remain sober in order to drag Yusuf’s drunken ass back to their room at the end of the night, and the responsibility fell to Nicolo for all of the obvious reasons, and also because he was happy to do it.

“Who?” Nicolo asks, steadying a hand on Yusuf’s shoulder when he sways at the top dangerously.

“Andromache,” Yusuf replies. Nicolo’s not sure what exactly Yusuf thinks she was wrong about-- they’d discussed many topics at the bar downstairs-- but he might succeed in having this conversation more so if Andromache and Quynh weren’t standing no less than five feet away, hovering just inside their room’s open door down the hall, stripping down to their tunics and trousers.

Probably standing by in case Nicolo and Yusuf took an unfortunate tumble down the stairs. Nicolo is warmed by their concern, but Yusuf is too busy being drunkenly confused by Andromache’s presence after she calls over an “about what?” to think of such things.

“Where did you come from?” Yusuf asks Andromache, only going half willingly when Nicolo rolls his eyes and drags him down the hall.

“Thank you, good night,” Nicolo tells the two women as they pass their door and head down the hall to theirs, floorboards creaking under their boots.

“Have a nice anniversary, infants!” Andromach calls after they manage to stumble to their door, sticking her head out of theirs.

Nicolo fiddles with the key the barkeep gave him, trying desperately to ignore Yusuf when he yells back, “Us infants will try not to fuck so loud you can hear it all the way down there!” probably scarring some of the tenants.

“I bet you can’t!” Andromache responds, gleeful, and ducks back inside to slam the door shut.

“Is that a fucking challenge?” Yusuf asks the empty hallway, going easily when Nicolo drags him inside.

It’s a humble room, but the presence of four walls and a floor makes it good enough for Nicolo, and the bed is only an added bonus. He leaves Yusuf to his own devices as he lights the lantern set in the corner, double checking that their bags --that they’d tossed in the room earlier-- haven’t been stolen. He nudges the bags with a toe as he unlatches his longsword from his belt, propping the sheath up carefully by the little table with the lantern.

Yusuf is being oddly quiet; Nicolo turns to find the love of his life lying starfished on the little bed, peering up at the wood ceiling as if the secrets of the universe are engraved on it.

“I am so tired, Nicolo,” Yusuf mumbles, mournful. “Why did you make me go up all those stairs?”

“I am infamously known to be cruel and unfair,” Nicolo replies dryly, crossing over and sitting next to Yusuf. He unbuckles the straps around Yusuf’s shoulders that keep his scimitar attached to his back while Yusuf lies still. When the task is done, he looks up to find Yusuf staring at him, brows drawn together. “Lean up,” Nicolo orders softly, and Yusuf complies without complaint, shifting his shoulders off the bed just enough that Nicolo can pull his sheath off.

He stands to go retrieve his own sword, so that both can be placed at their bedside, within reach, shucking off his boots as he goes.

“Can you grab my bag for me?” Yusuf asks from the bed while Nicolo is doing so, so Nicolo does, balancing the two sheathed swords under one arm and holding Yusuf’s rucksack in the other.

He drops the bag at Yusuf's side and sits beside it, setting both swords at his feet, on the left side of the bed. Usually Yusuf’s scimitar goes on the other side, but Nicolo does not trust him with access to a sharp object in this state.

Yusuf sits up to shuffle through his bag. “I got you something,” he tells Nicolo when he straightens. Nicolo frowns at him.

“You got me something?” he repeats.

“Yeah.” Yusuf pulls out his sketchbook, though he doesn't grab his bag of charcoals.

But I didn’t get you anything, is something Nicolo almost wants to say, but honestly, three hundred years into a relationship, you stop keeping track of how many gifts have been exchanged and when. Especially when their finances are so intertwined. Nicolo and Yusuf simply buy each other things whenever the urge arises, and they’re both such men that these gifts are usually just practical items: new boots, a thicker cloak, and so on.

But now Yusuf passes Nicolo his sketchbook, turning back to the bag to buckle it closed again.

“A sketchbook,” Nicolo muses with a smile, rubbing a thumb over the bound leather cover. “You shouldn't have.”

“Oh, stop,” Yusuf grumbles, snatching the book back once his bag is closed. He shoves it off the bed with a mildly worrying clank and sits in its vacated spot, next to Nicolo. “Your jokes will make you look a fool when you are crying tears of gratitude on me.”

Nicolo smiles. Yusuf’s thigh, pressed against Nicolo’s, is warm, and his shoulder knocks against Nicolo’s with such familiarity Nicolo wonders if he could identify Yusuf from that alone; without sight, without hearing. He thinks he could, given the opportunity.

Yusuf flips through his sketchbook quickly, scanning past images of landscapes and crowded marketplaces and Nicolo’s own smiling face until he stops at a certain page, angling the book away so that Nicolo cannot see. He peers sideways at him, suspicious or maybe anticipatory.

“Do you expect me to start the tears of gratitude now, or…?” Nicolo asks, grinning at Yusuf’s unamused stare before Yusuf shoves the book into Nicolo’s open hands.

Nicolo doesn’t understand what he’s looking at, at first. Not that he doesn’t recognize the image; he does, he just doesn’t... understand.

“How…?” Nicolo asks, trailing off in wonder. He lifts a hand to touch the image, then snatches his hand away, afraid he’ll smear it.

It’s his mother.

He doesn’t understand how Yusuf could do this; drawing his mother is one thing, but the accuracy of the drawing to Nicolo’s memory is astounding. The line of her cheekbones and the crinkles of her crows feet, the shape of her eyes set by happiness. The drift of hair over her shoulder is a little longer than his mother had it, and a little straighter, but other than that it is an almost perfect recreation. Down to the curl of her mouth, the small flash of teeth. Nicolo can practically hear her in the image, her eyebrows raised and surprised joy flashing in her eyes, as she says, “That’s a big one, Nicolo, good job!”

“How did you do this?” Nicolo asks, voice small.

“Do you remember when you told me what she looked like?” Yusuf asks. “When we were talking about Andromache’s mother?”

“Yes, I remember,” Nicolo replies, frustrated. “I told you she had brown hair and green eyes. Yusuf, how did you--” He peels his eyes off of the drawing that sends him straight to his childhood. “You even got her smile right.”

Yusuf presses his lips together in a fond little smirk. “I will tell you, but you must agree not to share my secret.”

“Yusuf.”

Yusuf scoots that much closer, tucking a hand under Nicolo’s jaw, thumb smoothing over his cheek. “I know how she smiles because I know how you smile. Because she’s your mother. And she lives in you, even if she’s been dead three hundred years. Even if you forget her to some small degree, she will stay with you. Here--” Yusuf touches the corner of Nicolo’s mouth. “And here--” His pointer swipes over Nicolo’s cheekbone. “And here.” He presses a thumb under Nicolo’s eye, and it comes away wet. He makes a small noise. “I was kidding about the tears of gratitude, Nico.”

The sketchbook almost falls off of Nicolo’s thighs in his urgency to pull Yusuf into a hug.

Yusuf returns the embrace with a huffing little laugh, arms wrapping around Nicolo’s waist and hauling him in close, the sketchbook folding closed between the press of their bodies, the beat of their hearts against each other.

“Thank you, Yusuf,” Nicolo murmurs into the crook of Yusuf’s neck, endlessly sincere. His fingers hook into Yusuf’s tunic, over his back, already pulled tight by the muscles there.

“Happy anniversary,” Yusuf responds cheerily. “To three hundred years, eh?”

“And three hundred more,” Nicolo reminds him.

“Fuck, Nicolo.” Yusuf leans back, hands lingering at his waist. He catches Nicolo’s eyes, his brows pulled together. “To three thousand more; Andromache doesn’t know what she’s talking about.”

Nicolo frowns, recalling Yusuf saying something of the sort in the hall. “What did she say?”

“What did she say?” Yusuf repeats thoughtfully. “I don’t remember-- some nonsense about us getting tired of each other.”

“Oh.” Nicolo does remember that. “I don’t think she meant it like that, Yusuf. And after all, she is rather the authority on how the relationships of immortals work.”

“The authority!” Yusuf repeats, mocking. “When Andromache kills a man with her bare hands and comes out the other side of the experience loving him, I will give her credence to the idea that she’s an authority over our relationship.”

“I didn’t say she was an authority over us. Just that she may understand better.”

“What, do you think she’s right?” Yusuf’s brow furrows, voice lowering. “That we shall grow tired of each other?”

“No,” Nicolo immediately insists, his desire to assure Yusuf strong and instinctual. He lets his hand slide to his shoulder, gripping there. “At least,” he admits on second thought, “I’ve never once felt anything to give me the impression that I will. But it may happen, Yusuf.”

To be completely honest, Nicolo can’t imagine such a thing. He’s woken up every morning for the past three hundred years of his life at Yusuf’s side, and he can’t even begin to understand what kind of drastic shift in his heart would inspire him to grow tired or restless of doing so. Of Yusuf’s hands, of his voice, of his glittering eyes and his loud, joyful laugh-- and the way he furrows his brow when he’s thoughtful, like he’s doing at Nicolo right now.

“Because Andromache says so? I think not,” Yusuf argues. “Andromache is wise, but she’s known us barely more than a hundred years. Her experience does not allow her to see to your heart, or to mine. I will love you forever, Nicolo.”

“Forever is a long time, Yusuf,” Nicolo responds, smiling.

“Well, I will,” Yusuf insists. “When we are twice as old as Andromache is today, and the memories of our childhoods, and our warring, and even our three hundred year anniversary will be nothing but dust, I will remember loving you with certainty-- and that will be because I’ll have done it every day of my life.”

Yusuf shrugs and presses closer, bowing his forehead to Nicolo’s. “And if we forget every bad time and every good time with it,” he murmurs, looking down, “I will not care; it will all wash away in the sands of time eventually, but I have no intent to be separated from you. I won't let memory or time or violence take you from me. I don’t care what Andromache says. The only thing that will end us is your word, Nicolo.”

Amused, Nicolo lets out a throaty little huh. “You will be waiting a long time for that, Yusuf. Maybe even forever.”

Yusuf grins at that, eyes flicking up, and Nicolo has that split second thought he always has --you’re hiding dimples under all that beard-- before Yusuf tilts his head up and kisses him, leaning forward with all the drunken weight of his body.

Nicolo catches Yusuf’s jaw in his hand, shoulders bunching up as he shifts so that Yusuf doesn't topple them both; tilts his head and grips Yusuf’s shoulder and kisses him back.

It is not, admittedly, their best kiss. But Nicolo’s found over the years that a kiss with Yusuf is a kiss with Yusuf, which is to say no matter how much their teeth clack or their mouths miss their mark, it is still Yusuf, so none of them are actually bad.

And Nicolo is distracted. Yusuf is one to spew pretty words whenever the mood takes him, but his aptitude for the spoken word even in the worst --or most drunken-- of times always catches Nicolo off guard; even three hundred years into their relationship.

Every day of my life, Yusuf had said, and Nicolo finds himself giddy and weightless at the idea. Every day of our lives, Nicolo thinks to himself, unable to fight off a smile as Yusuf pulls him in closer, a hand at his neck. Every day.

It is a fair while later --after Nicolo has pried Yusuf’s boots off, after the lantern light was blown out, and after they are both under the admittedly threadbare blanket-- that Nicolo lies propped up on his elbows on his side of the bed, admiring the drawing of his mother by moonlight. Yusuf lies on his back beside Nicolo, either asleep or drifting, arm thrown over his eyes and mouth pulled into a frown.

“Are you going to sleep tonight?” Yusuf asks groggily after some time, revealing himself to be awake. “Or must I compete with my own drawing for your attention?”

“You made a mistake giving me this,” Nicolo replies, closing the sketchbook and leaning over to set it carefully on the floor. “I will do nothing but admire it for eternity.”

With a huff, he settles under the blanket, facing Yusuf, crossing his arms to his chest. Yusuf responds with only a smile, and after the silence stretches for a moment, Nicolo adds, “I wish I could give you such peace in regards to your own mother.”

Yusuf drops the arm from his face, squinting sideways at Nicolo. “Pfft. You have already brought me more peace than any other living being on this earth. Give making me the happiest man alive a rest for a few minutes, Nicolo; you’ll give yourself a complex.” He rolls onto his side. “But also roll over. What are you doing lying all the way over there, anyways?”

“Giving myself a complex, apparently,” Nicolo grumbles, doing as he’s told and shuffling onto his side. Yusuf throws an arm over him from behind, snuggling forward and pulling Nicolo back in unison until they are pressed against each other, shoulders to thighs.

“I am being truthful,” Yusuf murmurs after a moment, low and intimate and close, tired words slurring into each other. He yawns before butting his forehead gently against the back of Nicolo’s neck. “My mother-- I have many good memories of her, and some bad. I would like to forget some and cherish others, but in the end I will likely lose all or most of ‘em, as Andromache has. That’s just the truth of it all.” He yawns again, shifting his grip on Nicolo. “I could draw her if I wish, but I don’t know if even a thousand drawings will ease her memory. And losing memories is a simple trade-off of the life we live, even if we didn’t choose it. I may not keep my memories, but as long as I can keep you, I am at peace with it all.”

Nicolo considers that, tucking his own hands into his sides. As much as their immortality was not a choice-- it was nothing either Nicolo or Yusuf asked for or even really wanted, three hundred years ago, but it was gifted to them anyway. They didn’t ask for each other either, and yet Yusuf was given to Nicolo and vice versa in the same breath that their immortality was thrust upon them.

But of course, unlike the immortality, and unlike all the other positives and negative consequences that came with it, they did choose each other. They chose to put down their weapons. They chose to stay at each other’s side. They’ve chosen that every single day of the last three hundred years. Hopefully they will do so for the next three hundred -- thousand-- years.

He will lose his memories eventually, one day, one way or another. It is like Yusuf said: it is a simple trade-off of the life they live.

But if it had been a choice-- well. Even the innocent comfort of his mother’s memory, of those late afternoons picking seashells-- those memories are not nothing to him, but if it ever came between keeping them and keeping Yusuf… the choice is obvious.

But there is no choice. The memories will fade one day whether he wants them to or not, whether Yusuf draws a thousand portraits of his mother or not.

Yusuf will not fade. Yusuf will be here. Yusuf has been here, for three hundred years.

Every day of our lives, Nicolo thinks, and smiles.

“You know,” he says quietly into the dark room. “You are a very wise man, Yusuf.”

“Don’t tell Quynh and Andromache,” Yusuf mumbles into Nicolo’s nape. “It will ruin my image.”

Nicolo snorts, smiles, and, eventually, falls asleep in Yusuf’s arms.

#Anonymous #joe x nicky

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nycnewsgirl · 5 years

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appreciation post for the under rated newsies.

yes I love jack, davey, crutchie, les and spot. but I would like to acknowledge some of the unsung heroes of newsies the musical.

the ensemble deserves just as much love.

race- nobody can tell me that he doesn’t have some of the most iconic lines in the show. also he manages to do everything the others do, with a cigar in his mouth. -Ryan Breslin, Giuseppe Bausilio, Ben Cook, Daniel Switzer-

specs- is the newsie that knows everything, he gave jacks sketches to Katherine and sparked the beginning of the children’s crusade. -Ryan Steele, John Michael Fiumara, Jordan Samuels-

buttons- possibly the saltiest of all the newsies, constantly calling everyone out, while still managing to look innocent and adorable. -JP Ferreri, Jess LeProtto, Damon Gillespie, Chaz Wolcott-

jojo- without a doubt, no matter the cast, always has the biggest smile, and best expressions on that stage. -Corey Hommerston, Thayne Jasperson, Hogan Fulton, Nico Greetham, Joshua Burrage-

finch- single handedly made slingshots cool again. -Aaron Albano, Julian DeGuzman, David Guzman, Iain Young-

mush- that kid can always tumble like nobodys business -Max Ehrich, Ephram Sykes, David Guzman, Jack Sippel, Nick Masson-

albert- one of the few newsies that can challenge race’s sass. -Garett Hawe, Daniel Quadrino, Sky Flaherty-

sniper- was played by a girl for the entirety of the tour. damn. -Scott Shendenhelm, Alex Wong, Jacob Guzman, Ginna Claire Mason, Kaitlyn Frank, Daniel Switzer-

mike/morris- it takes a lot of takent to make a bully likeable, and yet somehow they manage to do it. -Mike Faist, Adam Kaplan, Mike Ryan, Devin Lewis-

ike/oscar- both the delanceys have some insane quick changes, yet still never miss an entrance. -Brendon Stimpson, Jon Hacker, Anthony Norman-

smalls- get it kid, be proud of the bronx. -Laurie Valdheer, Molly Jobe, Josh Assor, Julian DeGuzman-

henry- is here to keep things real and will show you who’s boss. also can’t understand race. -Kyle Coffman, Iain Young, DeMarius Copes, Michel Rios-

elmer- pure comic relief, you can never have enough Elmer. -Evan Kasprzak, Jeff Heimbrock, Anthony Zas-

kenny- may have only been there for the filmed production but that doesn’t mean we forgot you. -Jack Sippel-

tommy boy- has possibly the best reactions onstage. -Tommy Bracco, Michael Dameski-

kid blink- another newsie only named in the filmed production, played by the one and only Andy Richardson, someone who’s been in every American cast of newsies. nobody deserves to carry the namesake of Louis Balett, the kid that inspired this all. -Andy Richardson-

romeo- oh romeo, you cheeky little charmer. -Andy Richardson, Hogan Fulton, Tommy Martinez, Nico DeJesus-

peanuts- only part of the paper mill production, but had one of the most developed backstories of any ensemble newsie -Jack Scott-

feel free to add your own ;)

#ensemble appriciation #newsies #toursies #newsies live #newsies on broadway #newsies on tour

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gothighunicorntolerance · 3 years

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An Oath- Fields of Gold p2

AO3

Virgil woke under silken bedsheets in the unfamiliar room. Looking out the window, he saw that the sun was only beginning to rise, casting a sliver of golden light across Roman’s unfurled wings- in a fleeting thought, Virgil realized how beautiful Roman looked, with his wings seeming to glitter and the sharpness of his jaw relaxed.

Virgil kept those thoughts to himself, of course, as there was no way he had any kinds of feelings for Roman other than those of slight annoyance and gratefulness, and perhaps the kind of feeling one has when they’ve just met someone they hope to stay good friends with through the rest of their lives. Those were the only feelings he had for Roman, and to say anything to the contrary would be absurd.

Throwing the covers off, Virgil stepped onto the carpet. It seemed like everything was better in the world of the faeries, including flooring and bedsheets. Taking his cloak from where he had left it on the back of the oak chair for the writing desk, Virgil was struck by the thought that he had no idea what to expect from faerie courtings or weddings. Surely if there was something he needed to know, Roman would have told him, right?

By now, the sun had almost fully risen, and Roman sat up in the bed. Looking over at Virgil, Roman asked, “Sleep alright? I sure hope you did, because I’m pretty sure my mother is going to want to be around you almost all day, and I wouldn’t want to be sleep deprived around her.”

“That’s really comforting. Thanks.”

In truth, Virgil had slept very well, even with Roman snoring beside him.

That had been the first of Virgil’s many days in the palace of the summer faeries.

It had been twenty long days since Virgil arrived through the tree of being inspected by Roman’s mother, having been scolded for seemingly the smallest things. The worst by far had been being scolded for slouching, something Virgil hadn’t realized he’d done yet the queen had threatened to put a stick down his shirt to force him to sit up straight.

Things hadn’t been all bad, of course. He did have to suffer through being measured and prodded at by a tailor, but it had been worth it in the end- the day after that, it had seemed like a sea of fabric had arrived in Roman and Virgil’s shared room. Every shade of purple hung in a gigantic closet hanging opposite of shimmering red, and quite honestly, Virgil had no idea what to do with so many clothes. He hadn’t repeated an outfit, and it was getting a little ridiculous at this point. At least Virgil didn’t have to worry about what shoes matched (frankly Virgil didn’t know why it mattered, but to some humans it did), as the fae went barefoot all the time, and now so did Virgil. Still getting used to the black-and-purple train on his loose robes, Virgil stumbled occasionally on the soft grass where he walked in the gardens with Roman, who was pointing out the different types of flowers.

“Roman!”

The two of them looked up to see someone, who, unsurprisingly, had a strong resemblance to Roman who was holding hands with a slightly shorter dark skinned man with glasses.

“Uncle Thomas! Uncle Nico!”

Roman ran toward the two of them, grinning, while Virgil stood where Roman had left him, unsure of what to do. That was another thing Virgil found living with faeries: he was very unsure of what he should be doing. What fork to use, what outfit to wear, whom he should greet with a bow and who to use a condescending stare at.

But Roman had apparently decided for Virgil what to do, as he was dragging the fae who called his name towards Virgil, one with iridescent beetle wings similar to the queen’s and one with wings the size and shape of a hawk’s but a bright blue on one side and yellow on the other.

“Uncle Thomas, Uncle Nico, this is Virgil, my er, betrothed.”

Only Virgil caught the slight hesitation and wince as Roman called him his betrothed.

“Pleasure to meet you, sirs,” Virgil bowed, not nearly as clumsy as the first time he had attempted to do it, thanks to all the hours spent with the queen practicing his posture and manners and all other things she told him to.

“No need to bow, Virgil. The honor is mine,” the man wearing glasses said, holding out his hand. “I’m Nico.” Virgil shook his hand and introduced himself.

“I’m Thomas,” the taller one said. “Roman’s uncle by blood. The queen is my sister, so I apologize for anything grief she’s given you about being formal,” he chuckled, Virgil joining him. “We came for the wedding! Three days, right, Roman?” Thomas continued. Virgil couldn’t help but admire the rainbow of colors on Thomas’s wings as the light reflected off them. Watching the shimmering distracted Virgil from the knot in his stomach that formed as Thomas reminded him that the wedding was in only three days, taking place at sunset on the third.

“Well, we’ll go get settled and let you two finish your walk,” Nico winked at them and looked knowingly at Thomas.

“I’ll see you later!” Thomas said as the couple walked out of sight.

A moment of silence passed before Roman looked Virgil in the eye.

“We haven’t talked about that yet…” Roman said, a hint of guilt in his voice. “I don’t know where you stand on kissing, but for a public display we can do a theater kiss. It’s where I would put my thumbs on your lips and kiss my thumbs instead of you,” Roman explained off of Virgil’s confused look. “We’d probably have to do a real one at the wedding, though.”

“Er, Roman? I- I’ve never actually kissed someone before,” Virgil said in an embarrassed whisper.

“Oh,” Roman thought for a minute. “Well, would you like to kiss me for real one time? That way-” “Okay,” Virgil said, a flush rising in his cheeks.

“Okay.” Roman put his hands around Virgil’s waist and pulled him in close, the two of them chest to chest. Virgil closed his eyes and tilted his chin up slightly, trying to remember how everyone he saw making out in the shadows did it.

Their lips touched, and Virgil felt a shiver go down his spine as he leaned into Roman, wrapping his arms around his back and feeling the smoothness of his wings pressed against Roman’s back.

Finally they pulled apart, standing in silence before Virgil started silently laughing. “If that’s how kissing always is, then I don’t mind it.”

It was Roman’s turn to go red, though Virgil assumed it was from what Virgil had said- he didn’t mean it in that way, of course, but Roman had probably jumped to conclusions. Virgil held no feelings for him, but simply meant that he wouldn’t mind kissing Roman.

Three nights later, it was time. Virgil and Roman had been woken up early and ushered away from each other by servants. Virgil had recognized Talyn leading Roman down the hallway opposite from where Virgil was being led. In front of a floor-to-ceiling mirror, Virgil saw the most extravagant article of clothing he had seen, even after living with faeries for twenty three days and nights.

The lavender robes, almost dresslike, covered a dark purple tunic with silver stitching hung next to a cape that looked as if had been sewn right out of the night sky- shimmering purple swirled with streaks of blue and was spotted with silver and gold, seemingly placed there right from the galaxy above. And there, sitting on a carved wooden table, was a silver diadem with opals and amethyst embedded in the silver.

“This is.. All for me?” Virgil could hardly believe that he was to wear all that- surely that had taken so much work? How had someone done all that in twenty three days? And to wear it only once would be a shame… someone had worked so hard on that! He briefly wondered what Roman would wear- would it be like Virgil’s, dark and swirling? Or something else?

Virgil’s train of thought was interrupted by one of the servants unbuttoning his shirt.

“Hey!” Virgil cried, still shy about himself even though his body had changed.

“I apologize sir, but it’s our job to get you ready,” they continued, either not seeing the discomfort on Virgil’s face or simply not caring.

When they were done, Virgil looked at himself in the mirror and gasped. Surely that couldn’t be him dressed in the garb made for royalty? In the cape made from the stars and robes the color of precious gems? The center gem on the diadem rested on his forehead, a contrast to his dark hair, which had been arranged with a short braided crown holding the diadem in place and the rest brushing against the collar of his indigo tunic.

The servants bowed as they left, leaving Virgil alone with only his reflection. After a moment of solitude, the door opened again, and in walked the queen.

Dipping into a perfected bow, careful not to mess up the diadem’s placement, he greeted her.

“You are to be my son-in-law soon,” she said, dipping her head in acknowledgement. Another thing Virgil had learned is that the fae are very direct to the point- perhaps it had something to do with the fact that they couldn’t tell a direct lie, but Virgil actually liked how no one he talked to avoided the point or used confusing expressions.

“Roman will be happy with you,” she continued. “I will admit I had my doubts about you, being a mortal, but you have certainly proven yourself to be able. Roman will have a good husband.”

Virgil simply nodded, not replying.

“Now come,” the queen beckoned him to follow as she left the room. “It’s time for you to wed my son.”

Virgil stepped onto the grass, his galaxy-esque cape trailing behind him, led by the queen to the altar where an officiator stood. Virgil could feel his heart hammering in his chest and was surprised that no one in the seemingly endless crowd of fae made a remark.

Suddenly the silence seemed deafening, and Virgil looked down the aisle to see Roman walking towards him, led by someone Virgil didn’t recognize but looked identical to Roman except for a scraggly mustache on his upper lip. Roman looked even more dressed up than Virgil, if that was possible.

Where Virgil’s robes and cape were like the night sky, Roman’s was like a bright summer afternoon- a red sash was held in place by a belt that seemed to be made of pure gold and the cape that hung off his shoulders seemed to be brighter than the sun itself, the ensemble completed with a diadem made of gold, the twin to the one Virgil wore.

Then, when Virgil thought Roman couldn’t get any more beautiful, Roman stopped in front of Virgil and smiled, churning the butterflies in Virgil’s stomach even more.

Roman’s brother stood to the side as the officiator bent down to pick up two crowns- one silver and one gold, each studded with even more glittering gems.

The officiator cleared their throat and began.

“Today, we see not only the union of two men, but also the union of two worlds,” they unwound a piece of ribbon and placed Virgil’s and Roman’s hands together, wrapping them in the grass-green silk.

“Prince Roman, do you declare today your love for Virgil?” “I do,” Roman said, nodding.

“And Virgil, do you declare today your love for Roman?”

“I do,” Virgil echoed.

“Then let the sun and trees bear witness, as do all gathered here today, that Roman and Virgil are wed, both by love and by law. You may now kiss.”

Roman moved forward, putting his arms around Virgil’s waist. Virgil closed the gap between them, putting his lips on Roman’s. The kiss was just as nice as the first time they had kissed in the gardens, though Virgil couldn’t help feeling self conscious as the crowd of fae stood and clapped for them.

Roman pulled away, and looked out at the crowd, ginning. Music began to play even louder than the cheering crowd, Roman pulled Virgil into a dance, each swaying to the music. Virgil found himself silently thanking that he had been taught the basics of almost every dance he could think of.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Thomas and Nico, both their brightly colored wings glinting in the sunset as they danced together. They looked so in love with each other, it was hard for Virgil to imagine ever loving someone that much- nevertheless, he hoped he would. And there, in a corner, was Roman’s brother kissing a man with the black wings of a raven or crow.

As Roman twirled Virgil, he could just make out what Roman whispered in his ear.

“Thank you, Virgil. I owe you so much.”

The only acknowledgement Virgil gave was a subtle nod of his head.

***

That night, after dressing out of their finery and laying in their shared bed, Virgil turned his head to Roman and asked, “Why me? Why a mortal? Why couldn’t you have one of your friends do it?”

Roman looked over. “We can’t lie. I said I love you, and I do, platonically. But a friend, which I have very few of, could be asked something like “does Roman love you romantically,” and they would be forced to say the truth: no. You, however, can lie. You can say that yes, I do love you. And it’s not unheard of for faeries to fall in love with mortals, so either way, no one would become suspicious that I don’t love you.”

“Why would that be such a bad thing? That you don’t love me, I mean.”

Roman sighed, and Virgil immediately regretted asking so many questions. But Roman just answered with a frown.

“Marriage is a sacred thing to the fae. We marry only for love, and binding yourself to another is the highest form of love. Faeries are born to be wild, untamed, free. A wedding makes you stay with that person for the rest of your life, which in our world, can be centuries. That’s why it would be so bad.”

“Oh.” was all Virgil said.

The next morning, Virgil woke before Roman as usual. The unusual part, however, was that Roman seemed to have trails of tears running down his cheeks and wetting his pillow.

Virgil sat up for a moment, wondering what could have happened that drove Roman to tears. Roman had seemed fine, happy even, at the ceremony. So what could have happened?

#sanders sides #prinxiety #thomas sanders #sanders sides fic #roman sanders #virgil sanders #Fields of Gold au

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glenngaylord · 3 years

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Style Over Substance Abuse - Film Review: Cherry ★★1/2

Some filmmakers start out small and dream of hitting the big time with a major studio contract. Once they’ve reached that pinnacle, which would no doubt have included great compromise and a whittling away of their authentic voices, some dream of scaling back and making a little indie. Take the Russo Brothers, Joe and Anthony, for example. This Cleveland duo started out their feature directing careers with such little seen low-budget works as Pieces and Welcome To Collinwood. They rose through the ranks and have now made the most successful box office film to date with Avengers: End Game. With what seems like a drive to return to their Ohio roots, they’ve made Cherry, based on Nico Walker’s semi-autobiographical novel and adapted by their sister Angela Russo-Otstot and Jessica Goldberg.

The trouble is, this 15 years spanning story of a young college dropout who reacts to getting dumped by his girlfriend by becoming an Army medic, returns home with severe PTSD, develops an addiction to opioids, and resorts to robbing banks to feed the beast, does not play out as an intimate little Sundance gem. It’s as if the Russos told the studios, “We’ve made you ALL the money, so now let us use ALL of the toys to make something meaningful.” Now don’t get me wrong, Cherry is a stunning looking film. Every shot has boldness, life, and energy. The production design, the early aughts period detail, even the look of its Cleveland streets are all eye-popping. As a person who grew up near Cleveland, I can attest to its perfectly captured brown brick/grey skies aesthetic. Despite its epic, nearly 2 1/2 hour running time, it never drags. Tom Holland and his incredible costars shine. You could watch this film without sound and think it’s the most cinematic, perfect movie you’ve ever seen.

So what’s the problem? It’s all just too much. Playing like a “Greatest Hits” mashup of Goodfellas, Full Metal Jacket, Zero Dark Thirty, Trainspotting, and Dog Day Afternoon, to name a few, Cherry goes big, but doesn’t go home. Using impressionism, surrealism, varying aspect ratios, voiceovers, bold chyron messaging, and every type of drone, dolly, and crane possible, we don’t so much as get inside our main character’s head as watch it explode all over the screen. It’s certainly a valid approach, and it sets it apart from so many uninspired independent films of its ilk, but it results in holding its emotional resonance at a distance. You may chuckle when our unnamed lead character, nicknamed “Cherry”, robs banks called Shitty One or Capitalist None, but it feels like showing off instead of making us really feel for the human beings at its center. At its core, this film wants to tackle the very serious subject of addiction, yet the style gets in the way. One of my favorite films on the topic, Sid And Nancy, had one flight of fancy in which the title characters kissed in an alley as garbage fell down on them from the sky, but kept things mostly real otherwise. Cherry is 141 minutes of garbage falling down from the sky.

Again, that may sound harsh, but I don’t blame the Russo Brothers for wanting to strut their stuff. They clearly have talent, and I’d love to see a film in which they learned to calm the fuck down. They certainly get great work from their cast. Tom Holland gives a heartbreaking, intimate performance filled with such vulnerability that you wish the camera would stop swooshing around him long enough for us to experience his great empathy better. Same goes for Ciara Bravo as his girlfriend who goes way down the rabbit hole of addiction with him. She starts out as your standard issue manic pixie dream girl only to erupt into palpable ferocity as things grow dire. Jack Raynor brings some much-needed comic relief as their preppy drug dealer known only as “Pills & Coke”.

The film keeps raising the question of whether or not Holland’s character deserves to have friends, a partner, love. It’s one we’ve seen before in films about addicts, yet this one stumbles badly in its final act, which amounts to a yadda-yadda montage during an incredibly important transition for our lead, only to dump him out the other side of it with an oddly tone-deaf, treacly final moment. They would have earned those final few seconds had we not been subjected to a decade-long chapter distilled into a few minutes of screen time. You’ll want to yell, “Run!” to someone onscreen instead of thinking, “Awwwwww”

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alien-shark · 4 years

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ZoTash prompt/one-shot: JEALOUSY

Echoes of what appears to be sparring shouts reverberate from the training grounds and soon, a surge of female Marine soldiers flood the halls. What used to be a serene area was now abuzz with gleeful exuberant cheers, their attention aimed at the other five female soldiers surrounding a lone shirtless green haired man at the centre of the training ground. Shinai swords drawn and pointed at their single adversary.

Tashigi, curious at the commotion, followed along the queue of female soldiers lining the perimeter of the ground, “What’s going on?” she asked, sipping at her coffee.

“He’s doing it. He’s sparring with them again!” A female soldier beamed, her eyes glued at the subject of interest.

Standing on her tiptoes, the Marine captain watch as the female soldiers consecutively charge at the man. But with a quick side step, parry, deflect and strikes on the shoulder, behind the knee and hip, each soldiers were disarmed and collapse on the dirt, one after another.

The spectators cheered and some groaned on behalf of their fallen comrades. On refusing to yield, one soldier latched on a nearby shinai and swiped at the man’s leg only for the weapon to shatter upon impact with his own.

“Too slow.” He sighed, disappointed. Spinning his head around, “You are all too slow.”

A wave of excited whispers, some of obscenities, rippled through the crowd.

“Your grasp on your swords are too flimsy! Even a kid can disarm you.” He pauses and releases yet another disgruntled sigh. “And you’re leaving too much opening! Do you have a death wish?! If I used real swords, you’d all be dead!” He turned to a soldier on the ground and offered his hand, she accepts reluctantly but hauls herself up with his help.

“The battle isn’t over until you’re dead.” He growled. “Till then, get your ass up and try again!”

Roronoa Zoro returned in the middle of the field, two bamboo swords drawn on his sides. His eyes scan the crowd, “Who’s up next?”

Female Marines race and scrambled to try their luck at him, beaming and professing determined shouts.

---

Captain Tashigi narrows her eyes, irritated that her fellow Marine soldiers- especially ones under Vice Admiral Tsuru’s squadron- are so easily swayed by Roronoa’s simple display of swordsmanship. But her resentment only doubled upon realizing that while she goes and makes herself a cup of coffee to begin the day, the man was already in the heat of his training.

While Roronoa trains the female Marines; observing them with a critical eye as they do drills and correct any mistakes and praise any improvements as they spar with one another, Tashigi decides to train with other soldiers who remained wary of the pirate. But it wasn’t long until Tashigi found herself training alone in their usual spot. She discovered her fellow officers figured Roronoa’s teachings yield very effective results.

And so she was alone, much to her disappointment.

Dinner proved tougher to endure when all she hears are praises aimed at Roronoa, how his outlandish teachings opened up new possibilities in their training immensely enhancing their skills.

“He’s truly a great swordsman! Glad he’s an ally now!” A soldier announced cheerfully.

“And he’s surprisingly such a decent guy too!”

“Right?! And he’s gentle and kind!”

“Have you seen that body?”

They giggle. Tashigi stands to leave.

A tremendous divide among the Marines occurred when the highly influential Vice Admirals finally roused and saw the errors of the entire Marines’ belief. It began with Smoker’s G-5 unit followed by Vice Admiral Garp, Vice Admiral Sengoku and most recently, Vice Admiral Tsuru.

Tashigi started as a grunt in Tsuru’s squad. Her skills earned her respect and praise among her superiors and popularity among the entire female Marine soldiers. Her rapid growth caused her to be transferred under Smoker’s wing in Loguetown. Yet to this day, she would return and spend some time with her previous crew. She considered this her place of solitude, a break from her testosterone infested infantry. It was a breath of fresh air to be around fellow female soldiers and they were always glad to have her back even for a short period.

However, the Marine/Pirate integration has altered her previous comrades regard towards her. (Roronoa and three of his nakamas: Nico Robin, The God-Usopp and The Soul King, temporarily stays on the island under Tsuru’s watch for Nico Robin to decipher a poneglyph. Which explains why and how the pirate is within their vicinity.) Now, the female soldiers’ attention has long abandoned Tashigi and are directed at Roronoa, much like the G-5.

“Give it to him! I bet he’ll love it!” A soldier nudged her companion.

“I hope so. He did say he loves quality sake.”

“Haha! He’ll fall head over heels for you!”

“W-what?! No.. I just wish to thank him..!” The other soldier blushed.

Soon, things took a sudden turn. An ample amount of female soldiers developed a budding infatuation towards the man. Tashigi couldn’t contain her hackles from rising when one evening, during a bonfire, another soldier gifted Roronoa sake. He drank and celebrated with them for yet another productive day. As Tashigi observes the exchange, she notices Roronoa smile almost slyly towards the gushing female Marines. Her suspicions towards the man intensifies. He was still a pirate after all. Tashigi witnessed the vulgar glances Black Leg and The Soul King displays when around women. Who’s to say Roronoa is different? She knows nothing about the man.

That very night, she confronted him. When finally he was alone, walking groggily through the empty streets, she blocked his path.

“Roronoa, a word, please.” She gestured to an empty alley.

“If you need private lessons, you’re gonna have to wait for two days.” He smiles. “I’m a busy man. Tonight’s not a good ti—”

“I know what game you’re playing, pirate!” Tashigi interjects. “You may blind the others with your swordplay but not me.”

Immediately, the pirate’s drunken stupor evaporated and he stares unblinking. But Tashigi refused to falter.

“If you’re training them just to create your little ‘fan-club’ or to invite them in your bed, I will not ask you again, please stop. These are prominent honourable women and some are already developing feelings-- bonds to you deeper than they intended. Feelings I doubt a pirate such as you even have. Whatever dark intentions you have planned, abandon it if you still wish to see the light of day.” She stepped closer and jabbed a finger on his chest. “Respect these women or I will make you.”

Roronoa stares at the finger on his chest and slowly creeps his gaze towards the woman.

“I always wondered why you never attend the training. I thought it was just your stubborn pride that makes you lurk behind the trees, watching from a distance.”

For the first time, Tashigi hesitates and draws her hand back.

“So this is how you still see me.” He narrows his eyes at her, as realization hits. “I trained your soldiers because they asked me to. I won’t apologize for my actions. I am not responsible for the feelings your soldiers harbour towards me neither will I apologize for how you interpret my actions towards them. That’s on you. I’ve never disrespected your soldiers in any way and I never intend to. I only wish to help… because-”

He takes a deep breath. “This may be empty words to you but… I feel obliged- I had a friend—,” Roronoa paused, dropping his gaze to the ground.

His voice suddenly grows quieter, jittery. “I wanted to prove to her… wherever she is I—I want to prove that women can be strong and capable of so much more. At first I didn’t believe it was possible.” He meets her eyes, his own glassy under the moonlight.

“Then you came along and changed my mind. How you handle yourself and radiate that irritating confidence and headstrong determination that affects the people around you. You made me realize that women are capable of so much more. And I want to help even in the smallest way. I want to prove to her that she was wrong for thinking so little of herself because of her gender.”

Roronoa hardens his gaze and almost doubles in size as he straightens himself, towering over the Marine captain. “But she’s dead. And she will never know. And I guess it’s too late for it now. And the person who opened up my mind to the possibilities and gave me hope continues to view me as a petty low-life. And whatever ounce of help I provided in the end didn’t matter.”

The man shakes his head and before stepping around her says, “What do I know? Pirates don’t have feelings, right?”

That night, Tashigi couldn’t sleep. Roronoa’s words cut her deeper than any wound inflicted in battle. How petty and shallow of her to view Roronoa in this light.

His late friend… Of course. How could she forget? When will she ever see beyond herself? She was insecure, blinded by her weakness. Jealousy remains to be her biggest vice, the wall that prevents her from moving forward- the gap between their abilities. She was right about one thing however, she knows nothing about the man.

The following days, Roronoa stopped showing up at the training grounds and began training somewhere else, alone, and refused to train and spar with the female soldiers, however he allowed them to watch.

“Could we have been too much for him?” A soldier during lunch muttered weakly.

“Maybe our progress was too slow he got impatient.”

“Ugh. I shouldn’t have pushed him to try our family’s sake.”

“Face it, ladies. The man didn’t see anything special and probably got bored.” Another stirred at her lunch dully. “He’s still a pirate. Open your legs at him and he might—”

“He’s not like that!” Tashigi snapped. All eyes on her. Upon realizing her outburst has generated attention she wasn’t used to, she trembled and cast her eyes down. “Roronoa is… a lot of things. But he’s not like that.”

She quickly dislodge herself from the predicament. She needed to find the man- for the sake of the Marines. But more importantly give him the apology he deserved. She cannot allow her frivolous mistake sever the unity between Marines and pirates. Tashigi could not locate him that evening so she woke up early the next day and luckily found him in his new training spot, surrounded by female soldiers urging him for a spar.

Tashigi apprehensively stepped closer into his area. A twitch of his eye suggest he’s aware of her presence.

“Roronoa, please… please train them again.” She whispers and hopes he hears amidst his grunts and loud thrusts of his sword.

“They can train themselves.” He grunts.

“They can.” She swipes a quick glance at the inquisitive soldiers. “But they prefer your guidance. They enjoy your company.”

“They’ve trained without my supervision long before I arrived in the island. They don’t need me.”

“Roronoa, please-“

“No.”

Before her tears threaten to spill, Tashigi knelt down and pressed her forehead on the ground and bowed deeply before the man.

“I apologize for every malicious words I insinuated. You didn’t deserve the accusations. I was wrong. It was unjust- I was,” She bit her lip and forced the trembling words out, “— ignorant. I figured my misplaced vigilance for my fellow Marines only causes harm than good. And I realize my accusations reflected more about my insecurities than of your character.”

The thrusting of sword stopped and louder whispers emanate from the growing onlookers.

“I don’t expect you to forgive me. I only wish for you to know how deeply I regret my misdemeanour.” She sobbed. “Please do not punish them because of the lapses in my judgement. Roronoa… Roronoa-san, it would be an honour to gain your insights.”

Tashigi took a deep breath and lifted her head slightly, “Please train them—train us!!”

“Tashigi-san…” Echoes of her name ran through the crowd but she refused to lift her head.

A surge of delight rushed through the swordsman’s chest and instantly felt an entire lightness of being, as if the overbearing weight he’s been carrying the last couple of days was lifted off his chest and he was engulfed with unexpected satisfaction. A single apology from the woman would have suffice, but this almost evaporated every affliction he’d ever experience. Had this happen months ago, he would have a quip to counter, instead he clears his throat,

“Then what are you waiting for? Grab your shinai. We’re losing daylight!”

Tashigi finally raised her head, face coated in watery dirt but she didn’t care. Altogether, the entire female Marine squadron exclaimed, “Haiii!!”.

----

Apologies for going over the word count! I hope this was worth your time!

#zotashprompts #ZoTash #tashigi #roronoa zoro #writing prompt #one shot

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angelsfalling16 · 4 years

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The Thin Line Between Pretending and Actually Loving You - Chapter 7

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 || Read on ao3

Summary: Simon and Baz have dinner with Baz's family on Christmas Eve.

Word Count: 2372

A/N: Thank you @carryonsimoncarryonbaz for inspiring me to write a nicer, more accepting Malcolm. He didn’t appear for long in this fic, but it was definitely different for me to write a Christmas dinner where he didn’t end up arguing with Baz.

Also, I got the “very close talking” thing from Psych. I've always wanted to use that in a fic.

***

Baz

Simon and I arrive at my parents’ home around noon on Christmas Eve. The big family dinner is planned for tonight, and tomorrow morning is for just my immediate family.

I lead Simon through the first level of my house, introducing him to aunts, uncles, cousins, and their various partners.

Fiona immediately demands our attention from her place on the couch next to her boyfriend, Nico. She starts firing off questions, demanding to know everything about how Simon and I met, and she only stops when I promise to tell her all of the details later. (Hopefully, we will have “broken up” by the time she expects me to make good on that promise.)

After that, we move on to Nico’s sister, Ebb, and her partner, Annie. While Annie is quietly polite, Ebb is a bit more boisterous but kind all the same, pulling Simon into a bone-crushing hug.

After a few cousins who are more interested in whatever is on their phones than meeting my new boyfriend, we end up next to Dev and Niall, who glance between our faces and clasped hands with unreadable expressions before offering Simon genial hellos.

It seems like they may finally be accepting that our relationship is real.

Simon has begun to look a little overwhelmed by the time we make our way to the kitchen, but he still manages to offer up a polite smile when I introduce him to my stepmother, Daphne.

“It is so nice to meet you,” she says to Simon, wiping her hands on a towel before holding one out for him to shake.

He takes her hand for a brief moment before letting his hand fall awkwardly back to his side.

“Nice to meet you, too,” he says quietly.

“Do you need any help in here?” I ask, dropping Simon’s hand and moving farther into kitchen.

“Oh, no. I’ve already finished most of the preparation, so I’m good here. Besides, you should go entertain your guest.”

I try not to blush as my brain supplies me with a few different ways that I could do just that, none of which would be very appropriate at this moment, in a house filled with my relatives.

Careful not to look at Simon, I nod before turning and leaving the kitchen, heading back towards my extended family members, who I would prefer to avoid.

None of my siblings have appeared yet since we walked into the house, so they must be off playing somewhere or hiding. I wish I was still young enough to disappear until dinner was ready. Unfortunately, being a grown up apparently means being forced to make polite conversation with people I don’t usually spend more than a few hours with a couple of times a year.

“Everyone is so nicely dressed,” Simon whispers, stepping closer to me and taking my hand in his again as we head back towards the living room. I have to take a slow breath and remind myself that this is just for show, that he’s holding my hand because he has to, not because he wants to. “I look underdressed in what I’m wearing.”

“You look fine to me,” I say, keeping my tone neutral. “But if you are really worried, I may have something in my old bedroom that you could wear.”

“You’re a bit taller than me. I’m not sure any of you clothes would fit me.”

“We can make it work.”

“Okay,” he shrugs.

Five minutes later, Simon is wearing my clothes, and I can’t take my eyes off of him. It’s a suit that I only ever wore once, but it looks way better on him than it ever could have on me.

Simon

Baz has begun to act weird again. Ever since I stepped out of the bathroom wearing this suit, he hasn’t been able to take his eyes off of me for longer than a few seconds.

I keep waiting for him to tell me that’s something wrong with the way that I look, but he stays silent as we head back downstairs to join his family again.

I should have known when Baz picked me up wearing a stunning, dark green suit that I was underdressed, but I thought that maybe it was just a Baz thing. That was until I walked into mansion-sized home (of course, he grew up in a mansion; it makes so much sense) and everyone was wearing their nicest clothes. And while it’s not like I was wearing a t-shirt and jeans before, I still looked like I was just some guy he had picked up off the street on his way here. I looked completely out of place.

Baz’s suit is only a little long, and while I don’t usually care for wearing suits, it’s different when it’s Baz’s suit that I’m wearing. It obviously isn’t something that he wears anymore since it was still in the closet of his old bedroom, but something about it makes me feel special to be wearing it, like this is where I belong.

It's a ridiculous feeling. I’m only here to convince Baz’s friends that he’s not single. I don’t belong here, and I definitely don’t belong by Baz’s side. As soon as this whole charade is over, I’ll be cast to the side again, and I won’t matter to anyone in this house.

I knew that from the beginning, but it still hurts to think about, so I push that thought away and try to enjoy this afternoon with Baz’s family.

I spend the next hour sitting next to Baz on his couch while he makes pleasant conversation with some of his family members. The entire time, Baz holds my hand, his thumb rubbing idly over the back of hand, never letting go, not even when one of his sisters – Adelaide, I think – climbs into his lap, squealing about how someone (presumably one of their other siblings) is trying to catch her.

Then, it’s time for dinner in the formal dining room where two tables have been set up. The larger one has been set up for the “adults” while a smaller one is off to the side for the kids.

I wish that I could go join the kid’s tables. I’m sure that it would be a lot better than sitting awkwardly with all of these people that I don’t know and have no idea what to say to. Luckily, there is enough food to keep my mouth preoccupied with other things besides talking.

A few minutes into dinner, though, Baz’s father seems to suddenly notice my presence. I didn’t see him before when Baz was giving me a tour of the first floor, but there are plenty of places that he could have been hiding in this giant house.

“Baz,” he says, his voice loud and booming, but also kind-sounding. “I haven’t gotten the chance to meet your boyfriend yet.”

“Dad, this is Simon.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Simon,” his father says, smiling in my direction.

“You, too, sir,” I respond quietly.

“Call me Malcolm,” he says with a dismissive wave of his hand. “‘Sir’ is a little too formal for my taste.”[AH1]

When I imagined actually meeting Baz’s father, I always thought that he would be strict and someone who wouldn’t exactly be welcoming of his son’s new boyfriend. I had only seen him from afar while we were in college, and he looked just as dark and mysterious as Baz always has.

Now, as I sit just a few seats away from him, he pulls me into a pleasant conversation about how he met Baz’s stepmother, and I’m pretty sure that it’s his own way of saying that he’s okay with me and Baz being together. I even begin to relax after a while, feeling increasingly welcome in this place I’ll never be in again, by people I’ll never see again.

Even though I just met these people, I hate that I’ll have to part from them. I’ve never had a big family. (I never had a family at all.) And being welcomed so warmly by someone else’s family makes me realize just how much I’m missing.

Baz must sense the change in my mood because his hand finds my knee

“Are you alright?” He murmurs, just for me to hear.

I nod. “I’m fine.”

“Okay.” He smiles warmly at me before moving his hand back to his own lap, and I miss his touch.

It was stupid of me to offer to be his fake boyfriend when I had feelings for him. Now, I’m counting down the minutes until tonight is over so that we can go our separate ways, and I can go back to pretending like I don’t have feelings for him.

Baz

I expected most of my family members to leave right after dinner was over, but they seem to have chosen to sit around and talk for another hour or two. After a while, I excuse me and Simon from the table, and we go off in search of my siblings.

“Want to go upstairs?” He asks, stepping closer to me once we are away from anyone who would care whether or not we’re acting like a couple. I don’t move away, though. I like having him this close to me.

“And do what?” I ask curiously.

“Just get away for a moment. Maybe make people think that we’re kissing or something.”

“Okay,” I say warily.

His hand slips into mine, and he starts leading me away even though he has no idea where he’s going.

I follow him up the stairs, not saying anything even though I’m dying to ask him what he has in mind. He turns right at the stairs, in the direction of my room, so I assume that that is where he is headed, but after a few more steps he stops and turns to me, a strange look in his eyes.

Then, he steps towards me, backing me up until I hit the wall. My heart begins to race in my chest. I didn’t think he was being serious about the kissing thing, but he keeps moving closer to me.

I freeze for a moment before I shift my weight start to lean forward to meet him. I’m not going to say no to kissing him. Even if it doesn’t mean anything to him.

“You know we’re not actually going to kiss, right?” He asks, looking amused.

“Yeah, of course.” I let go of his hand and lean against the wall, but then he relaxes his stance, leaning towards me until our lips are just a breath apart.

“I thought you said we weren’t going to kiss.” I’m not sure why I’m whispering. No one else is around. I doubt anyone even noticed that we disappeared.

“We’re not.”

“Then, what do you call this?”

He bumps his nose against mine before saying, “I call it very close talking.”[AH2]

“Hmm. That is interesting. I’ve never done this before.”

“Really?” He lifts a brow, and I blush, glad for the darkness.

“Have you?”

“Nope. Just you. But if anyone walks by, it will look like we’re kissing.”

“Maybe we should make it look more convincing.”

“How?” He actually looks interested.

Without saying anything, I wrap my arms around him and pull his body closer, one hand settling on his lower back, the other drifting lower, stopping just before I reach his waistband.

He looks surprised at first, but then he smiles. He slots one of his legs between mine and lift a hand to cup my jaw, and when he touches me, I jerk slightly, and my lips brush his for the briefest of moments. I freeze and force myself not to react and not to push him away. Luckily, he doesn’t say anything about it. He must not care. But I’m not sure whether that’s a good thing or a bad thing.

We stand like that for a few minutes, not saying anything, just staring into each other’s eyes, our lips mere centimeters away. All I would have to do is tilt my head down a bit, and we would be kissing.

But I don’t do that. Because this isn’t real, and Simon doesn’t want to kiss me. I have to remind myself about that until he finally steps back, saying that we’re probably good now.

Nobody came by, and I’m actually relieved about that. That moment felt way more intimate than simply kissing would have, and I’m glad that no one bared witness to it.

This is starting to become too much. It’s getting harder and harder to fight the urge to pull him to me and pour out my feelings for him.

I need this all to be over. It’s easier to hide my feelings for him when I’m not being forced to be so close to him.

By the time most of my family has finally left, I have a plan in mind for how Simon and I can be broken up by New Year’s. It begins the moment that we live this house, and the plan is to tell Simon all about it on the drive to his house, but then Daphne invites us to stay the night.

She says that there is no point in us leaving, just to make the drive back up in the morning. There’s plenty of room in the house for us.

I can see Simon hesitate, but then she mentions the breakfast she has planned for tomorrow, and I have no hope of making it out of this house until late tomorrow afternoon.

It will be fine, I tell myself.

This could actually work to my advantage. Without Dev and Niall here, Simon and I can act less like a couple. And I can plant the idea that our relationship isn’t as strong as it appears in my parent’s heads so that it won’t be too big of a surprise when I announce our breakup in a couple of days.

This will all be fine. I just need to let Simon know that he will finally be free of me in a couple of days. I am sure that he will be delighted to hear this.

[AH1]Thank you @carryonsimoncarryonbaz for inspiring me to write a nicer, more accepting Malcolm. He didn’t appear for long in this fic, but it was definitely different for me to write a Christmas dinner where he didn’t end up arguing with Baz.

[AH2]I got the “very close talking” thing from Psych.

#snowbaz #snowbaz fanfiction #simon snow #baz pitch #tyrannus basilton grimm pitch #carry on #wayward son #rainbow rowell #christmas fake dating #my writing

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nellie-elizabeth · 4 years

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Grey's Anatomy: Let's All Go to the Bar (16x09)

No. NO. Negatory. Nopity nope nope. Yoikes. Cannot do it. I cannot go through this again.

Cons:

I'm talking about Amelia's baby. I will nottttt. Apparently Amelia got pregnant four weeks before she thought she did, which means it might not be Link's baby. Meaning it might be Owen's. We didn't get to see any more of this revelation play out, but it's going to cause drama and my brain is going to explode if we stretch this out any longer. Why can't Amelia and Link just have a kid together and be happy? I am UPSET. Owen doesn't deserve to have another baby! He has enough babies, okay?!

In fact, almost all of the relationship drama this week was just irritating in the extreme. There's an exception, but I'll get to that in a moment. You've got the "who got Amelia pregnant" nonsense. And then you've got Tom telling Teddy that he loves her and wants to marry her, and that Owen hasn't even popped the question yet. You all know my feelings about the way they've navigated Tom's character this season, but the thing is... the dude is right. Owen doesn't deserve Teddy. Owen is annoying as hell.

And then you've got Richard and Catherine's nonsense. My feelings about Catherine have always been less than positive, so it's a hard sell to get me to care about her. And now I'm in a situation where I'm annoyed with her for not giving Richard the benefit of the doubt, and I'm also annoyed with Richard for not putting a hard boundary between himself and his friend. Even if they aren't technically crossing any lines, Richard knows there's something there. He needs to get a grip. The marriage between Richard and Catherine is a mess.

Pros:

The one exception to my distaste for relationship drama is the stuff going on with Meredith and Andrew. Meredith is aloof, although clearly hurt that Andrew has broken up with her. Andrew sees it differently, but gets some sense knocked into him by Link and Nico. Nico says that his boyfriend isn't his 'equal' when it comes to surgery, but that doesn't mean he doesn't respect him. Link points out that Andrew is still a resident. Meredith isn't going to respect him for demanding that she change her perspective on his surgical skills. It's not practical, and when framed this way, it's clear that Andrew was wrong to give Meredith such a confusing and muddled ultimatum. But also? The power imbalance is there between Meredith and DeLuca. She's got this incredible career already under her belt, and that's going to be a factor.

One episode isn't enough on which to base a full opinion, but my first instinct about McWidow, as Cristina so delightful nicknames him over text, is that he's going to be a fun addition to the cast. He's a lot more obvious as someone that Meredith could click with. They've got the one big, huge thing in common, that of having lost their spouses, and it sounds like this guy has a chip on his shoulder about how the doctors handled it, the same way that Meredith does. He's brusque and a straight-shooter, which Meredith will probably admire, and could also keep their relationship interesting and challenging. I'm not necessarily ready to write off Andrew's chances, but I'm definitely okay with this particular love triangle.

Amelia's baby news has me annoyed as all hell. Bailey's baby news has me very, very sad. I thought Bailey getting pregnant was kind of stupid, because it felt like the only thing the writers could think of to do was to make all of the ladies pregnant. But seeing how excited Ben and Miranda were about the idea had really started to turn me around. And now... poor, poor Bailey. The tragedy of her running in to Amelia in the halls afterwards, not ready to say the truth... oh my goodness. She was so excited and hopeful, and then it all came crashing down. Miscarriage is a really common thing that doesn't get talked about enough, and knowing Grey's Anatomy, it makes sense that at least one of the pregnancies was going to be traumatic in some way. Bailey pushes Ben away, not ready to accept his comfort. I hope Bailey will be okay.

In other baby drama news... Jo volunteers to come get babies who are left at fire stations, and she gets the call while Alex is out of town helping his mother. She ends up over at Station 19, chatting with Ben and with other characters who I assume are on that show. At the end of the episode, she calls Link over, for him to find that she's taken the baby boy home with her instead of handing him over to social services. As some people in her life predicted, maybe Jo is doing too much too soon...

I mean, this is some soap opera goodness right here. Jo has been doing so good about handling her trauma, but obviously things are not as cut and dry as all that. I liked how kind and supportive Ben was being of Jo when she came to the station for the baby, and it just exacerbated how badly it sucks that he and Bailey lost their child. I'll be interested in what happens after this. Will Jo and Alex end up keeping the baby? That seems ill advised, but crazier things have certainly happened.

Maggie's character has been zig-zagging all over the place for me this season. In last week's episode I was annoyed as hell about the drama with her and Jackson. And then this week, I'm feeling terrible for her as she faces an awful setback in the OR and quits her job. After what happened with her newfound cousin, it makes sense that she'd be shaky. And now another patient who should have been okay is potentially dying. They really made this patient the most sympathetic and adorable they possibly could, showing him with his wife and their newborn, and how happy and confident everyone is about the surgery. I really, really hope he pulls through and I hope Maggie is able to get her act together. As frustrating as she is sometimes, I like her when she sticks to medical stories.

Nico and Levi spend the episode being extra adorable, making out in an on-call room, Nico promising Levi a reward for putting up with his judgmental fellow residents. And then at the end, someone drives a car into the bar where the couple, along with other characters such as Ben, are all enjoying some after-work drinks. So that's our cliffhanger, as I'm sure someone we know and love will be in mortal peril when we check back in come January. I for one hope it's Nico or Levi, so we can get fun angst, but then of course I demand that everyone comes out alive, because I'm just starting to get to know this couple and I'm not ready for tragedy to strike!

So that's that. We're on break until 2020, when the drama shall continue as scheduled. Despite my frustrations with a few elements at play here, I'm still of course eager to tune in for more.

8/10

#review #grey's anatomy #grey's anatomy review #greys anatomy #greys anatomy review #grey's #grey's abc #greys #greys abc

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lunarhold · 5 years

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↣ pairing: nico robin/reader ↣ warnings: none ↣ word count: 1.5k

❧ you overhear an...interesting conversation. turns out it worked out in your favor.

✿ yk, for some reason, none of my fics have a plot lately.

“Hey, so...has anyone else noticed how Robin and _____ have been spending a lot of time together lately?” That was Zoro’s voice, floating out from the helm of the ship. ‘Huh? Robin and me?’ you thought, pausing outside the door when you heard your name. You had been on your way to get lunch for the both of you, but that was forgotten in favor of listening in to their conversation. “Is there something weird about that?” Usopp asked. His voice was muffled; it sounded like he was eating. At the thought of food, your stomach growled viciously, and you almost couldn’t stop yourself from barging in and interrupting their conversation. The idea of their faces when they realized you had heard them would no doubt be hilarious, but the conversation was just too juicy, so you reigned it in. Starvation would be totally worth it. “Well no, just they constantly disappear together and read over each other’s shoulders. It looks more like, you know, cuddling than just…”

You listened to Zoro’s voice trail off into a mumble and could already picture his face, a bright shade of red clashing spectacularly with his moss green hair and a frown. He was still a holdout on Robin, still deeply mistrusting her because of all that had happened with her former employer, Baroque Works. While you didn’t agree with him, you certainly couldn’t blame him for his concern; it had been a terrible ordeal, one you weren’t keen to experience again for a while. Thinking about Robin, in combination with his insinuations about the two of you, caused your cheeks to heat up a little and a small smile to split your face. What they said wasn’t untrue, but as of yet you hadn’t taken the time to put any thought into it. But when they put it like that… “You know, you’re right. I went to go get them for lunch yesterday and found them napping together in Robin’s bed. It was the cutest thing,” Nami said, and you could practically hear her smile, but it caused the fading blush to erupt again into full, face-melting heat. On the other hand, though, it made your heart stutter against your ribs. “They don’t seem to have put two-and-two together yet though,” she continued with a laugh. Strictly speaking, that wasn’t true, you just didn’t want to acknowledge it. Things were good and simple right now, and Robin didn’t seem inclined to force another step. As for you, while you wouldn’t mind if things went a little further, you also were content where you were. If things were meant to be, they would progress on their own. “So, you’re saying we shouldn’t say anything to them?” Chopper’s voice joined the conversation for the first time, making you wonder who all was in there. Probably not Luffy, he would have been yelling by now. “Right, or Luffy for that matter. He’d shoot his mouth off in an instant.” You snickered a little because Nami was 100% right. “We’ll just let them figure it out on their own.” There was the sound of bench legs scraping across the floor, and you hastily moved to the bottom of the stairs to pretend you hadn’t heard literally all of their conversation. Arranging your face as best you could to appear calm, you smiled as the others poured out of the helm. “Hey, is lunch ready?”

------

Curiosity killed the cat, you decided, was a very appropriate phrase in this situation. After eavesdropping on the other’s, it was like a veil had been lifted. Before, you were comfortable, vaguely aware of your feelings, but now it felt like they were too obvious. Three days had passed and, though you tried to act the same, you were losing the game. Everything felt awkward, like you were trying too hard to be normal. It was almost a relief to have night watch. The ship was quiet except for the gentle creak of wood as the boat rocked with the waves, allowing you to relax without feeling like everyone was watching you. You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t hear the door on the floor open and jumped when a gentle hand grabbed your shoulder. “Oh, Robin, you scared the hell out of me,” you said, looking up at her. Your heart settled back down into the usual, quick pace it had whenever you were around her now, and you weren’t sure what to say. She carried a book in her hands and it was safe to assume she was going to join you for your watch-- a normal occurrence, now that you thought about it. You weren’t sure when it began, but somewhere along the way you had begun to expect that she would join you. Tonight was no exception, but you were so caught up in thought that you had stopped paying attention, allowing her to sneak up on you. While you were thinking, she sat down beside you, close enough that even breathing cause you to brush against one another. The book remained unopened in her lap, but you found it was the safest thing to look at, as looking at her would cause you to zone out again. A silence far more awkward than usual fell, but you knew her well enough to know that she was just thinking. Your heart began to beat faster again and your gaze drifted from the book, over her face to the pitch black horizon. The moon was shedding enough light to cast a shadow, but the night was just beginning and you had several more hours of darkness to go. “..._____?” “What?” The spell was broken, and you whipped your head around to look at her. She laughed into her hand, the other coming to rest on top of yours. “What’s been going on with you? You’ve been acting unusual.” “Yeah,” you said with a sigh, but gave her a genuine smile. “I heard the others talking the other day. About us.” Robin laughed again as she fully laced her fingers together with yours. Your heart immediately picked up speed, thumping off your ribcage in an uneven beat. She had never done anything so blatant before. Every interaction you had had before now was subtle and could be easily misconstrued for innocent and friendly. Still, your eyes remained locked on her long, delicate fingers intertwined with your own, and you almost missed what she said again. “I’ve heard them too. They suspect we’re interested in one another, but haven’t figured it out.” She sounded amused, but there was hesitation as she asked, “Does it make you uncomfortable?” If you didn’t know her as well as you did, you would say she was as calm as ever, but you did know her. She was cautious, unsure of your true feelings, and likely afraid she was overstepping your boundaries. An overwhelming need to assuage her fears filled you, and you laid your free hand overtop the one already in your grasp and squeezed as tight as you could. “No, never. I’m absolutely not. It just...feels like everyone is watching now, scrutinizing everything we do. All I want is…” You trailed off, staring down at your lap. The thundering of your heart in your chest nearly drowned out your thoughts, and you were sure the skin of your face would melt as you blurted out, “All I want is this.” With the moon behind the two of you, you couldn’t see the pink creep across her cheeks, but you could feel her squeeze your hand, and her voice held a small quiver as she said, “Me as well.” Another silence fell as you both lapsed into though, giddy and nervous at the idea of taking anohter step together. Your hands seemed like they had magnets-- you couldn’t look away from them. Never before had you felt such a complete sense of peace, but it was exquisite. After a while, you reached out and picked up Robin’s book. It was a bit difficult to reach, given your unwillingness to release her hand, but eventually it was settled on your legs. The small lamp you had with you cast just enough light that you could make out the words. Robin shifted beside you and her head came to rest on your shoulder. Her hair tickled your neck, but the idea of brushing it never even crossed your mind. A glance from the corner of your eye showed just how much she had to curl her tall frame up to reach your shoulder, and you almost laughed. It didn’t look very comfortable, but she seemed content, as were you. There wasn’t a whole lot of talking done after that, although there usually wasn’t when you were reading together, and soon enough you realized that she wasn’t reading at all. Her shoulders rose and fell in a steady rhythm, most of her weight leaning on you. Your shoulder was beginning to stiffen but one look at the peace on her face deterred you from moving. You would gladly deal with it, with anything, so long as she was happy.

#one piece #nico robin #nico robin x reader #fluff #x reader #lunariting

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toonstarterz · 5 years

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BECAUSE I’M NOT POPULAR, I’LL READ WATAMOTE: CHAPTER #163

Ah, summer. The season of no school, bright skies, pools, barbeques, and brief teenage romance.

Okay, so it’s not quite summer vacation yet. But nonetheless, the new season gives way for all sorts of fun shenanigans. None of it ever really enters “drama” territory (as dramatic as this series can be, that is), but as Tomoko’s last year of high school nears the halfway point, we discover that there’s still quite a bit we don’t know about our cast of knuckleheads.

Chapter 163: Because I’m Not Popular, It’s Summer

I think it can be inferred that Tomoko is not a morning person, is she?

I think it can also be inferred that the once-aspiring NEET Tomoko is not a fan of hot weather. Better soak up that Vitamin D, girl.

Parasol Lady Asuka would like to battle!

Are parasols more prominent in Eastern culture? They’re not too terribly common where I’m from, but I imagine that may be a result of Japan having more of an aversion towards anything that would result in darker skin. Though I can also see it as a sort of fashion opportunity as well.

I believe those were umbrellas you used, Tomoko. But semantics aside, It’s pretty neat to see that Tomoko has finally reached that stage in her life where she can recognize her cringy chuunibyou phase. Long live those days of failing miserably at being a cool anime character.

Remember when Tomoko used to slut-shame the girls in her class? I detect a hint of hypocrisy there...

Gyaru!Asuka has already exploded on the imageboards, I guarantee it.

A part of me wonders why Tomoko grouped Kii-chan and Yuri specifically. They don’t have similar personalities or anything, but I see two possible reasons for it. One, Kii-chan and Yuri both got that mild-mannered, “exotic” look going on. But also, it may who Tomoko subconsciously believes she’ll see the most of over the summer.

We’ll, I mean...yeah. They would. It probably doesn’t help that Tomoko, with her lion’s mane, gives the impression of someone too physically active to care much about grooming. But as much as Tomoko derides the possibility of looking like a “sweaty day laborer”, I can’t deny that it’s not a bad look on her.

The reason for that should be dead obvious by now.

The thing that amuses me is that Tomoko had no basis to start insinuating that Yuri’s a pervert. She just did, and has latched on to the idea ever since. While no doubt annoying for Yuri (even if it’s true), it’s kind of sweet if you see it as Tomoko wanting to have a shared interest with her.

I’m sure that compared to your freckled, “crazy lesbo” best friend, it isn’t.

It’s funny how Nemo used to give off an air of someone who’s sexually acknowledgeable (at least to me) by virtue of being semi-popular. Now that we know’s she’s relatively pure, Tomoko will never let her live it down.

Komiyama really is the most two-dimensional character in the series. And you know what?

It works.

In the education industry, we call it the “Perv Curve”.

Komiyama: Self-explanatory.

Hatsushiba: Anatomically-correct BDSM art must have originated from somewhere.

Katou: Yet even more evidence for the almost-openly perverted girl who casually says “vagina”.

Mako: ...wait, what?

I’m so used to perfect scores being a badge of honor in Japanese media that it through me for a loop to see it suggested as anything else. Perhaps it’s an issue similar to Home Ec in that it’s not seen as educationally significant and only those really invested in the subject would master it. Either way, how lewd.

Going back to Mako, I am genuinely shocked. Could Yuri’s oh-so-sweet bestie actually have a dirty side? Just when you think you know a gal! Naturally, she has just enough to shame to be embarrassed when its brought up, and I’m not ready to call out Mako as a pervert just yet. At least she has Yoshida to pat her on the back (ironic given the delinquent is now officially the purest one of the Kyoto Group).

My Pokémon-obsessed mind can only see them as the Haramaku Elite Four, which, given the segment’s title, is highly unoriginal of me.

I’m 97% sure that Kawagoe’s that old geezer teacher we saw during Tomoko’s suspension. We even got that “strict about textbooks” continuity from way back when Tomoko forgot hers.

All signs point to Minami’s-Faceless-“Friend”-#1 recognizing someone, most likely Yuri, during this little intersection. Curse you, Nico Tanigawa and your wonderful vagueness.

Nope. It’s not gonna work. Nuh-uh. Absolutely not. You aren’t going to make me feel sympathetic for Minami.

...

drat.

All that speculation has finally paid off cause we now have confirmation that Minami did(does?) in fact backbite Tomoko and Yuri. Thank goodness for Tomoko’s mental health that she never knew. But Minami’s got some nerve teasing Yuri when she’s actively Mako’s friend. Even more disturbing if Mako doesn’t realize it...

Between that tiny smile in the last panel and her wanting to tease, it’s pretty much certain that Minami’s-Faceless-“Friend”-#1 is not a pleasant person.

Birds of the same feather truly do flock together.

Okay, I cracked. Minami’s too adorable (and pitiful) right here.

I find it telling that even Minami’s “friends” know she’s a jerk. But if what goes around comes around, then Minami’s-Faceless-“Friend”-#1 might not realize she’s a jerk, too. Are most terrible people aware of their own terribleness?

I don’t want to correlate jerkiness with irresponsibility but...here we are.

Man, that’s playing dirty. Suzuki is more than likely not that close to Minami, but any decent person wouldn’t just outright say “no” to a request like that. Of course, playing up her own supposed likeability through other’s basic kindness is Minami’s M.O.

In manga and anime, that sort of haughtiness from cute, snaggletoothed girls is adorable in that “sigh, there she goes again” way.

In reality, it’s just annoying as shit.

At first glance, Kayo’s just making an off-handed question, but my nit-picking mind says otherwise. I’m not sure how insistently heterosexual/romantic Japanese culture is towards male-female relationships, but would most teens show interest in a friend’s opposite gendered sibling? If say, Miyazaki had a little brother, would Kayo even ask Ucchi a question like that?

My theory is that Kayo is subtly trying to ascertain Ucchi’s sexuality. If the idea of Ucchi being gay for Tomoko is already planted in her head, then Kayo is using Tomoki as a “male version” for comparison. Ucchi’s already admitted to the Kuroki siblings being physically similar, so supposedly if she feels nothing towards Tomoki, then it’s Tomoko’s “femaleness” that attracts her.

This wouldn’t even be half as funny if Ucchi didn’t have an emoji face.

If only Komiyama could see this now...

Or, you know what? Maybe gender is irrelevant and Ucchi just has an indiscriminate gross fetish.

Nemo’s ultra-realistic thoughts behind her cheery demeanor are always welcome.

For all those times that Tomoko pokes fun at Nemo for wanting to live out a slice-of-life school anime, she’s not exactly innocent either. More and more we see Tomoko trying to invoke those cliche moments, usually with little fear. It’s a rather far cry from when she’d try to pull anime tropes as a means to an end. Now she tries them out just for the sake of having fun, which is much more endearing.

In this particular trope, however, normally you’d have a guy and girl stuck inside, where they’d ultimately become more attracted to each other through the suspension bridge effect.

Of course, that’s assuming the boy and girl aren’t already together. If they are, then storage rooms are usually used as a hiding place to make out, but that obviously would never hap–

Oh.

FUCK.

If memory serves, this is the same couple who were flirting(?) back in the head patting chapter. A whole lot must of went down since then, eh?

Murphy’s Law.

It’s been quite a long time since we’ve had one of Tomoko’s infamous freakouts. And they say this series lost its roots.

A part of me wants to think that Nemo hears Tomoko but is pretending not to just to screw with her, but I don’t think she’d be that cruel. Even if it would be hilarious.

Just how far is your “it”, Tomoko. Making out? Groping? HANDHOLDING!?

What am I saying–she’s totally thinking sex.

It’s interesting to note that Tomoko just assumes that Yuri and Mako have never had a boyfriend. Sure, it may be implied given we’ve never seen them have this discussion before (that we know of), but it’s still pretty presumptuous on Tomoko’s part. My only reasoning is that Tomoko is trying to ally themselves over supposed “undesirability” like many self-deprecating friends do.

First off, I am not at all surprised given Mako’s personality.

What does surprise me is how totally betrayed Mako sounds. I can only assume that it’s a part of Mako’s past that she’d rather not reveal. While I don’t think Yuri meant any harm bringing it up, that kind of miscommunication goes to show that even though they’re best friends, Yuri and Mako don’t always see eye to eye.

Sounds like dating to me. Or rather, sounds like dating between high schoolers. At the risk of sounding like an old-ass millennial, dating between high schoolers rarely last, despite what shoujo manga suggests. Casual dating is exactly that–casual. They’re attracted to the novelty of dating, but once that initial thrill wears off, cue the breakup.

Side note, I just realized that Yuri loosens up her tie. I love small details like that.

Perhaps I’m reading too much into it, but Mako seems to be suggesting that girls, on the other hand, aren’t as desperate to get boyfriends. While that isn’t necessarily true, I do see that answer as mostly a convenient excuse for Mako, who may simply just not want to be in a relationship right now.

I can see the “Mako is straight/Mako is lesbian(for Yoshida)” War right now...

Boy, it’s been a while since Tomoko has contemplated her own popularity, let alone try to be more popular. I guess it goes to show that even though Tomoko is more or less satisfied with her current status, she still sees herself below the bar of what constitutes “popular”. She does perpetuate feminine “purity” as an indicator of her societal value, but I’ll let it be–reality is not so kind, after all.

One of the more prominent questions that Yuri’s fanboys have is “How come someone as pretty as Yuri isn’t more popular with the boys?”

Well, there you go.

In terms of looks, I never thought Yuri was that unattractive in-universe. She’s in that small niche of “plain and generic, but just cute enough that fans feel they could feasibly ask out a girl like her in real life”. So while it's reasonable to think that at least one person would show interest in her, it's Yuri’s personality that ends up putting them off. She probably isn’t ready to commit to the effort of dating and being someone’s girlfriend. nor does Yuri seem that interested to begin with if her texting habits are anything to go by.

I can’t for the life of me remember the name for it, but I believe that there’s this belief in Japan that says everybody (mostly boys) has that brief period in their life where they’re suddenly attractive and people want to date them. I imagine that Tomoko may actually reach that time in life sooner than she thinks.

PTSD TRIGGERED!! For the readers, I mean.

For real, though. What a comeback. Who would have thought that Kosaka, that guy who was introduced in Chapter FIVE would make his grand return? Normally, making a reappearance this late in the game would feel like an asspull, but it works because he was never meant to drastically affect Tomoko’s growth. He was just the spark, the first hint to show that people could actually befriend her. And for that, we salute you, Umbrella Dude.

It’s been, what? About two years since they last spoke, and he still remembers her? Impressive! Then again, I don’t think you're about to forget the girl who gave you a dogeza.

Because I’m Not Popular, I’ll Tell Lies.

These moments where Tomoko is unabashedly a blushing schoolgirl are really precious because she isn’t “perfectly ditzy in that moe sort of way” about it. She gets riled up, sweaty, and unpleasant to watch. Which, ironically, is even more adorable just for how genuine it is.

Yeah, I’m sure the original said “dogeza”, but since there isn’t really a good English equivalent for it, I think “genuflect”...is still an odd choice.

Yuri, who always has her “Tomoko’s BS” meter on high, knows that Tomoko is screwing around when she calls it her “first”. Poor Mako, a now confirmed pervert who still thinks Tomoko is so amazing, thought the girl had popped the guy’s cherry.

Friendly reminder that eventful summers are not necessarily pleasant summers. Though they could be with the right perspective...

So...Yuri vs. Kii-chan Death Battle when?

The most beautiful part about this ending is that there’s no second-guessing. No “maybe I won’t be lonely” or “I wonder if I’ll be lonely”. Just a very affirmative “I won’t be lonely”. Tomoko fully expects that she’ll be spending time with her friends this summer, and that confidence is more than I ever would’ve expected from Tomoko in previous years.

With summer vacation just over the horizon (don’t want to jump the gun), a medley of both happy, unhappy and delightfully awkward moments are sure to transpire. Just about the only thing Tomoko can plan is the unplanned, and I’ll be sure to get a front-row seat to watch it all.

#watamote #watamote review #chapter 163 #no matter how i look at it it's you guys' fault i'm not popular!#tomoko kuroki #asuka katou #yuri tamura #hina nemoto #mako tanaka #kotomi komiyama #hatsushiba #masaki yoshida #koharu minami #emiri uchi #tomoki kuroki #kosaka #I finally get to use that tag #review

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annabethisterrified · 5 years

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Book Review: THE TYRANT’S TOMB by Rick Riordan (The Trials of Apollo #4)

“Today, one way or another, the fate of New Rome would be decided.”

THERE ARE NO SPOILERS UNTIL YOU GO BELOW THE CUT!

Reeling from the loss of Jason Grace and the mounting danger of his mission to stop the evil emperors ascendance, Apollo (aka Lester) and Meg arrive disheveled and devastated in New Rome...with a coffin in tow. Getting into Camp Jupiter is tricky enough, and once Apollo and Meg get caught up to speed on the chaos that’s been wreaked in the Bay Area, they realize that the impending battle will be the culmination of everything they’ve been fighting for. Reyna, Frank, and Hazel’s leadership roles put them to the ultimate test as they scramble to prepare for their final stand against Caligula and Commodus. Together, Apollo, Meg, and the inhabitants of New Rome must mourn who they’ve already lost while simultaneously gearing up for the inevitable confrontation that will seal the fate of their home once and for all.

The penultimate installment of The Trials of Apollo picks up on the heels of The Burning Maze’s tragic conclusion. Through Apollo’s perspective, the reality of what went down in the third book continues to weigh heavily upon the whole cast, but most of their focus is forced forward to an incredibly dangerous confrontation slated for the Blood Moon. Loose ends from the Heroes of Olympus series are tied neatly yet surprisingly, and the continued evolution of Apollo and Meg’s bond shines as the book’s true, gleaming heart. Apollo’s own recognition of his past failings, his father’s abusiveness, and the reality of what his humanity has taught him all come to a head, setting up what’s sure to be an impactful fifth and final book-- not just for Apollo’s journey, but as a capstone for what the whole saga’s implications about what it means to be a hero, and to be a human.

The Tyrant’s Tomb is consistently entertaining and heartfelt, but the final third of the story proves to be the most deftly-crafted and meaningful. Though not as heavy as its previous installment, this fourth book gives plenty of focus on some lovely development from our main protagonist, priming the series for its finale next fall.

If you click below, there will be spoilers.

Hello? Okay. You promise you’re good for spoilers...?

All right, just because of who I am as a person I guess, I’ve broken this down into like ten sections. Ooof. Generally, I will say that I was super pleased with how this story went. My only disappointment was that I’d hoped for more of a prolonged or “on-screen” unpacking of the effects of Jason’s death on the Camp Jupiter kids, specifically Reyna. However, I get that that’s kind of hard to do through Apollo’s perspective. I wasn’t totally sold on the idea that he sang a song haha, but I’m glad that Jason’s loss wasn’t just addressed at the beginning and then “moved on” from. It was threaded throughout, showing that grief is not something that you can check off a list. This is something that will always stay with these characters, and alter how they live and feel about things. It ebbs and flows. In addition, I think there could’ve been just a bit more action in the first half of the story, but it was never boring or aimless. And the concluding battle was expertly written and soooooo amazing omfg. Still reeling.

Anyway, let’s go.

FRANKLY, I HAVE NOTHING BUT LOVE

I’m so happy we got the chance to see Frank leading Camp Jupiter as praetor! He did such a good job, but also acknowledged that this is still a new role he’s transitioning into. I was so pleasantly surprised at how he managed to be both authoritative and gentle, and it was gut-wrenching to know that he intended to take Caligula down with him. When I imagined the fallout of Jason’s death, I always pictured Reyna being the one to tear down the emperors in revenge, which was why I was so affected by Frank’s commitment to honoring his friend. Not only did he order Jason’s designs to be built in like thirty hours, but he was so ready to avenge Jason that he was fully prepared to die.

What. An. Arc. I LOVE HIM. I’m glad he’s finally free of his burden, and that he gets to keep doing an epic job as praetor (though hopefully during more future peaceful times). Camp Jupiter’s lucky to have him.

SHINE ON HAZEL

Words can’t express how infatuated I was with Hazel in this book. She’s always been one of my favorites, but she really shone in this story. She was already so strong and developed at the end of Heroes of Olympus, but this book still brought her out better and smarter than she was before. She cannot be stopped. Hazel’s determination and grit make her formidable, and she definitely proved to be Rome’s greatest asset throughout the entire story.

I think it’s great that she gets to step up and take on Jason and Reyna’s former role of praetor...alongside Frank, too! I didn’t expect her to react with anger towards Jason once she found out about his death, but it hit me hard. She initially took Jason’s death to be a reflection of the Seven’s failings as a team. Hazel loved how powerful the bond between them all was, and when Jason took on the burden of TBM’s prophecy alone without confiding in anyone, I can totally see why she felt like that was a betrayal. UGH hit me hard.

REYNA REYNA REYNA!

Reyna is just objectively an amazing character. I’m so so so glad we got to revisit her in this story, and loved where she ended up going. Starting this book, I had literally no idea how she would be handled. She’s always been the quintessential strong leader, which is awesome, but I’m glad we got to unpack the implications behind her very...layered...existence. Leaving Puerto Rico in a traumatic situation, going straight to Circe’s Island, escaping as a pirate, carving out her path in New Rome, getting roped into the Titan then Giant War? Damn. She’s been through a lot, and none of it of her own free will.

Like I mentioned earlier, I wish we’d learned more of how she dealt with Jason’s death. They were obviously really close growing up, and though it was clear she was devastated and things were referenced “off-screen”, I still kind of wish we’d gotten a bit more. Regardless, I liked that the focus of her presence in this book was about HERSELF and nobody else.

And hello!!!!! She has a red truck!!!! and goes out hiking with her greyhounds??? makes me so glad.

And yeah-- that ending, huh? I know it got mixed reactions. Personally, it felt pretty natural to me. I’m so glad she stayed in touch with Thalia after the events of HoO, and knowing that they’ll be on eternal adventures with a bunch of other wonderful girls....happy sigh. Reyna’s right-- this is kind of a much-needed vacation by joining Artemis’s team. No matter how long or short she stays with them, it’s important that she’s able to reclaim her destiny and figure out what and who she’d like to be.

APOLLO & MEG

These two!!!!!!!!!!!! Holy shit. Their bond was so well handled and I loved seeing how it developed in this installment. They can communicate on an instinctual level-- they can call each other out, and recognize the abusive patterns both of their fathers have over them. They have so much in common, but also have so much to teach one another. I loved that they were both able to tell each other “I love you” and ughhhh yes the sibling dynamic is so epic. (Also, the whole Reyna and Meg ganging up on Apollo about Koronis bit was hysterical.) (And the “I thought you loved me?” “I’m multitasking.”)

WHERE TO NEXT?

Just because I haven’t said this yet, but HOLY MOLY I adored Lavinia. Oh my god. She was amazing-- hilarious, presumptuous, go-getter, kind...what a star!!! What a joy to read!

Anyway, now it’s onto the fifth and final installment...THE TOWER OF NERO. I’m so happy that we’re going back to where this story started (in both Hidden Oracle and The Lightning Thief)....New York! And it sounds like also a potential field trip to Delphi, Greece? I’m down!

I’m assuming we’ll be able to tag up with Annabeth, since she’s the only main-player we haven’t yet revisited in ToA. And probably also Percy, Nico, Will, Austin, Kayla, etc. at Camp Half Blood.

There’s a lot of ways this could all go down, but I think this book set up a heart-wrenching conclusion. I’m looking forward to Apollo and especially Meg standing up to their fathers and claiming their own lives. I’m not even sure if Apollo will want to be returned to godhood by the time his trials are up. We delved into some really interesting threads in this book-- he mentioned several times that he’d only ever felt comfortable and “at home” when he was human. What will that mean for his final trial?

In either case, this book was fabulous and I’m so glad we got a chance to learn more about Camp Jupiter and New Rome...and I feel like a lot got resolved, so it felt like a satisfying way to say goodbye to the California crew. I doubt they’ll be in the last book, so it was bittersweet but fitting to leave them as we did!

Now, we wait. One last time! Thanks for reading this if you made it all the way down, haha!

#review #tyrant's tomb #the trials of apollo #rick riordan #toa spoilers

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brauthaalandfc · 5 years

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Manchester City Player Ratings 2018/19

I got bored and decided to write a lil review of Manchester City players this season. Hope you enjoy and feel free to discuss.

Warning: may be biased

Ederson: 9/10 Keeping this one short and simple, just like Eddie’s passes from the back. What more do you want from a keeper? He can give you assists, great saves, and is willing to run half way up the pitch to defend his teammates. Took one point off him because he didn’t score. Maybe next season.

Kyle Walker: 7.5/10 The English idiot definitely got tired around christmas time with a few dodgy games which I guess is understandable given the fact the he hadn’t really stopped playing for over a year with the World Cup and so on and he might have been the England crackhead but overall I think Kyle did well. Especially during the last few games, I thought that he played really well. I think it was Crystal Palace away that he probably had one of his best games. I hope he rests well over summer and can continue that form next season.

Danilo: 7/10 When Kyle was too busy snorting coke (just kidding, don’t kill me), Danilo played really well in his place. Although he isn’t as quick or as direct as Kyle, he provided a composure and control that sometimes Kyle lacks. He didn’t really make any big mistakes when playing, and I would have given him a higher score if he played a little more. There has been rumours of him leaving and I hope these are not true because he is a pretty solid back up at right back and is Bernardo’s favourite person to annoy.

Oleksandr Zinchenko: 8/10 Am I crazy giving him a higher rating than Kyle? Probably. But I love to spread appreciation for my unproblematic little blonde ukrainian! Last summer he was linked heavily to Wolves- it looked highly probable that that was were he was going to end up this season. However, he decided to stay and fight for his place at Manchester City and I am so bloody glad that he did! When Ben got injured and Delph was...you know... being Delph, Zinnie stepped up and performed at left back (not his natural position!!) and played at a higher standard than any of us would have thought! I really admire his determination and confidence in himself to stay and fight to get into the first team. You can tell he works hard always and really loves and appreciates all his teammates. I have loved watching the little shy KDB lookalike grow and blossom into a more confident young man. Hopefully there is much more to come from this bundle of joy. We could all learn from Oleksandr Zinchenko!

Fabian Delph: 3/10 I might be a bit harsh here but literally, when did he forget the basics of football? Man preached it in All or Nothing but couldn’t practice it irl. Deplhy was a breakthrough last season and played well when Mendy got injured (yes, again). But this season... I don’t know what he was up to. Most games he played, we lost. I honestly have no clue what made him snap like that vs Leicester but bitch... calm down!! Is it harsh to say I don’t think he played well once this season? Well, I am saying it. Don’t get me wrong, I will be sad if he leaves this summer. He most definitely has passion, and whilst sometimes that leads to him perhaps being too emotional on the pitch, I appreciate it and is a popular character in the dressing room that will be missed. He has given a lot for the club in recent years but I’m afraid I see no future for him here. No more Delph every weekend :(

Benjamin Mendy: 5/10 I have a soft spot for Mendy, can you tell? You’re probably thinking 5 is too high but I will tell you why. He played 10 games this season and got 5 assists during that time. That’s an assist every second game (if I have done my maths right). In the early stages of the season, there was no doubt that he was one of our most effective players. I was at the home game vs Huddersfield in August and I thought he played so well that game, bombing up the wing every time. He got an assist too, if I remember correctly? His crosses are insane and watching him live was a (rare) blessing! This makes it hurt even more knowing he got injured. It is obvious that Ben has so much potential and has bags of talent however, injuries seem to haunt him. Along with his occasion lax judgement and lack of concentration, he finds himself in difficult situations. It breaks my heart of the stories leaking from the training ground of him breaking down in tears. I cannot be easy for a young footballer to go through so many injuries when they are at a club that is constantly winning and breaking records, where you can watch your teammates win things and have fun with each other whilst you are stuck inside with your leg in a cast. My heart breaks for him and I hope that next season, these injuries no longer take over him and he can have a season to finally show why he is one of the best left backs in the world.

Aymeric Laporte: 9/10 There has been a lot of hype around Van Dijk this season (and rightly so) however, Aymeric hasn’t received as much attention and I think that is slightly unfair. Laporte, in my opinion, is not that far behind Van Dijk and is nowhere near his peak quite yet. I think that Aymeric has been one of our best and most important players this season. He is always reliable in defence and has probably been our first choice CB this season. Not to mention, he scored that header against Brighton that put us back in front and on the way to the title. I believe that Aymeric is an amazingly talented CB that will only improve over these next few seasons, and who knows, he might one day become the best CB in the league.

Nicolas Otamendi: 6.5/10 Nico was so so good for us last year and offers us more physicality at CB in comparison to Stones and Laporte, however he hasn’t really stood out this season. Despite this, I don’t think he has done much wrong? He has been largely reliable when called upon to help out the team and I really can’t fault him for that. Like Danilo, he was been linked with a move elsewhere but I hope that he doesn’t move. Like I said, he is more physical than Stones and Laporte and sometimes I feel like we need that, and with Vinnie leaving I don’t think it is wise to let another CB go when I don’t feel academy players like Garcia are ready for that jump up yet. Oh and he has a good beard so I bumped him up from an initial 6.

John Stones: 7.5/10 It has been a bit of a weird season for Stonsey, hasn’t it? At the beginning of the season, he was playing loads and was dead good. However, after THAT moment vs Liverpool he seemed to fade away a little and it looked like Pep prefered to play Vinnie and Laporte over him nearing the end of the season when it was tense. He still played a little though. sometimes coming on to play as a defensive midfielder kind of position and didn’t really make any mistakes there which I guess shows him maturing as an all round player and reveals just how much Pep trusts him and sees potential in him. I expect him to play a lot more next season and continue to grow as a central... sorry centre back.

Vincent Kompany: 8/10 I was considering giving him a 10/10 just for that goal vs Leicester but I am keeping that score for someone else ;) What can I say about this man that hasn’t already been said? He is a Manchester City and Premier League legend. He captained this team to a domestic treble, an achievement never done in Men’s English football. Pep trusted him at the most important part of the season and it turned out to be the correct decision with that thunderbolt against Leicester (honestly, I cried). His season was kinda the opposite to Stonsey’s, he didn’t play much in the beginning of the season but played a lot in the second half. I’m so glad he got a run of games without injuries and got to play a pivotal role in the season’s outcome. He went out on a high and I wish him all the best in his new role at Anderlecht, as long as he comes back sometime soon. Captain. Leader. Legend.

Fernandinho: 8.5/10 I think it says a lot about the importance of Fernandinho to this Manchester City team that when we lost two games back to back in December, Fernandinho was missing. He is crucial to the way in which we play, and he plays his role so effectively and in a composed and sophisticated manner. He is like the unsung hero of the team. So why didn’t I give him a 9 or a 10? Whilst he has been reliable for large parts of the season, sometimes I feel like the game gets to him a little. The best example of that was vs Newcastle where he gave away the penalty that could have cost us the league. Luckily it didn’t but usually he does not make them mistakes but sometimes when we are under pressure, he can let out his frustrations. Regardless of that, I think he has done an immense job yet again this season. Despite getting a few injuries and frustration clouding his better judgement, he is still one of our best players.

Ilkay Gundogan: 8.5/10 I was soooo gutted when we signed him in 2016 and he then proceeded to have that season ended prematurely due to injuries because I was so excited to see him play for Manchester City. However, I feel like we got to see the best of Ilkay Gundogan this season. Whilst sometimes I scream at him for continuously passing backwards some games, his reading and intelligence of the game is probably one of the best in the squad. When Dinho picked up a few injuries near the end of the season, I thought that was our title dreams over, however Ilkay decided to prove me wrong and deliver amazing performances when we needed him most. Sometimes City fans on Twitter give him stick but I genuinely believe that he is a massive talent for us and is fully capable of playing that Dinho role if we need him to.

David Silva: 7/10 There is a case to be made that David Silva is best ever player to put on a City shirt however, this season wasn’t his best. He started off well, and that free kick against Huddersfield was amazing! But gradually, he became slower and less like the el mago that we all know and love to watch. He would give the ball away cheaply and occasionally pick the wrong pass or just slow down play altogether. Even I was getting a little bit tired of Pep playing him ahead of a faster and more direct Leroy Sane. But at the Manchester Derby at Old Trafford, he did what David Silva usually does, and made the game his own. He was so so good that night and helped to keep the calm and control that game, even when we were looking a little bit shaky. Despite this, he did look tired most of the season. I really hope that was just Pep overplaying him because of Kev’s injury and that he isn’t losing his legs because I’m not ready to let go of him yet.

Phil Foden: 7/10 Now, me saying that Phil and David were both 7′s this season, does not mean that I think that they were at the same level this season. Of course, David played at a higher level than Phil. It just means that Phil’s standards are understandably lower than David’s. However, Phil did amazingly this season despite his situation. He is in a team, competing for a place with players like David Silva, Ilkay Gundogan, Kevin De Bruyne and Bernardo Silva. So I think we were all surprised when the team news came out for the Spurs game and he was there. No, not on the bench but in the starting eleven. An eighteen year old boyhood fan starting a game for Manchester City! Against a top 4 team! In a tight title race! Not only that but he scored and played maturely for his age. I am incredibly proud of my lil baby Phil (even though he has a baby now). He started and played in more games than I would have anticipated. All of his time spent patiently waiting for his chance and training alongside his hero, has paid off! I hope he will get even more game time next season, showing us all why he has the nickname Stockport Iniesta!

Kevin De Bruyne: 7.5/10 This is a difficult one. Kevin has had a difficult season. It seemed that whenever he would finally hit form, he would get injured again. I cannot imagine how difficult that would have been for him. It was saddening as a fan who loves to watch him play that we never really got to see the best of Kevin De Bruyne, We saw glinces of it in the FA Cup final but it was a little too late. There is no doubt that Kevin is a world class player, but unfortunately we haven’t been able to witness that this season. Despite this, when he did play he definitely had an impact. We are a better team with Kevin De Bruyne in it. No arguments about that. I hope next season he is back to his normal self, assisting and scoring when we need him most.

Bernardo Silva: 10/10 Ah, here we go. Brace yourselves, this could be a long one. I LOVE BERNARDO SILVA. In my opinion, he has been the best player in the Premier League this season AND should be in top 3 for Ballon d’Or. Am I being incredibly biased and over reactionary? Probably, yes. But am I wrong? No. Bernardo Silva has everything. He runs 12-14km a game. He never stops. He can dribble like Messi. Yes, like Messi. He dribbles like Messi. He can cross balls into the box. He can run halfway across the pitch just to tackle someone off the ball. He took on Virgil Van Dijk. 5′6 Bernardo Silva decided to get in a battle with 6′3 Virgil Van Dijk. Can we just take a moment to appreciate him in that game against Liverpool? He ran and ran and ran until he covered every single inch of the pitch that night. He wanted to win more than anyone and it showed. And let’s talk about his passion. He celebrates every Manchester City goal like a madman, running across to the goalscorer and pulling the craziest of faces. And his goal celebration at Old Trafford? ICONIC. He did a knee-slide at Old Trafford in front of the City fans. Twenty years ago, and he would be considered a City legend for that alone. But he is on his way to becoming one of Manchester City’s all time best. I mean, his chant is already one of the best! I cannot fault any part of his season. Maybe he could have scored and assisted more? Meh I don’t care, his work rate earns him something more than just goals: the fans hearts. He has the potential to become one of the best in the world and I am so glad he is at Manchester City and has committed his future to us.

Raheem Sterling: 9/10 Raheem has matured so much this season. Not just on the pitch, but off the pitch too. He has become a great influence and inspiration for those who have to suffer through racial discrimination and horrid racist attitudes. Whilst he has always been this person, it has taken the media this long to recognise this and praise him for it. I am happy that finally he is getting the positive recognition that he deserves. And he has deserved it this season. Each season he seems to grow more and more confident in himself, scoring and assisting more often. I can only see him growing from here and becoming even better. Only thing that is missing is his goal at Anfield, winning our first game there since 2003 ;)

Riyad Mahrez: 6.5/10 I think that it was always going to be difficult for Riyad this season. Our wingers: Raz, Leroy and Bernardo are all well suited to Pep’s style and the players around them. He needed time to adapt and learn. Overall, I feel like he dealt with it quite well. Yes, he missed that penalty at Anfield but he won us points at games where we were struggling slightly like Bournemouth. He did end up missing a lot of game time due to just how good Raz and Bernardo have been this season, he couldn’t really get a look into the team. And how many other players would to be honest? Although, I do feel he could have done better for a first season in a team like this, he has coped well and integrated into the team nicely. Hopefully he can have a breakthrough like Bernardo next season!

Leroy Sane: 6.5/10 I feel like Leroy would get a far greater rating if Pep played him a little bit more but I guess Pep had his reasons and that is understandable. Leroy, for me, is one of the best young players in the world. He has so much talent and potential. He offers something different from the other wingers in the team and can cause defences to have nightmares. And on top of that, this season we discovered that he is dangerous from free kicks too. But as I said, Pep didn’t play him as much as he could have. I guess Pep and Sane have their own problems and I hope it can be solved because Leroy is one to keep here at City. He has a huge future ahead of him and I would be massively disappointed if we lost him.

Gabriel Jesus: 6/10 Gabi is the the same kind of situation as Riyad and Leroy. I think he has so much potential at this club however, his game time is limited due to the fact that he has to compete with Sergio Aguero, possibly one of the best strikers to play in the Premier League. It is a massive ask for Gabriel at his age. However, I think he has shown enough this season and seasons prior that he is a talented player who fits in this team perfectly. His workrate is perfect and I can see him becoming an important player for us in the future.

Sergio Aguero: 9.5/10 If you ever need a goal, Sergio is the player to go to. This man got back to back Premier League hat tricks against Arsenal and Chelsea IN THE SAME WEEK. Unfortunately, he just missed out on the Golden Boot, however he scored incredibly important goals for us this season. The goal vs Burnley, the one vs Liverpool and the one vs Brighton are just three examples. He is always there when we need him. And that is why I put him as the second highest rated. (sorry Raz I still love you xx)

#manchester city #premier league #2018/19 #longpost #this has a higher word count than my history dissertation hahahaha

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significant-what · 5 years

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pjo holiday gift exchange 2018

i am so very incredibly late with this and i apologize from the bottom of my heart. i don’t want to sound like i’m making excuses, but my 12 days of christmas -story took a lot on me, and after that i was in a kind of vegetative state when it comes to writing and couldn’t do anything.

still! hello, @rosyredlipstick i am your secret santa from @percyjackson-secretsanta! i am not dead!

my gift to you is a short but sweet solangelo fic, sempiternal. i hope you enjoy it, even though it is so late. and hey, i personally think that getting christmas gifts late is super nice because they’re usually unexpected, don’t you?

you can find the fic from ao3 (link above) or under this cut.

”Nico? Are you asleep?”

Nico isn’t. He doubts he will be able to sleep at all. He’s cold, the sky is open above them, and the ground he’s lying on is hard and uneven. It’s hard to think that this is a problem now, when three years ago he could fall asleep anywhere and still keep one eye open for danger. Nico is used to luxury now, a warm bed and a roof above his head, the knowledge that the magical barriers of Camp Half-Blood will keep him safe even if he falls asleep.

”No.” Nico turns on his side inside his worn out sleeping bag and blinks his eyes open. The sky is clear and the moon full and bright, but it’s still dark enough that he can’t see Will’s face clearly, even from mere inches away. ”What is it?”

Nico sees movement and hears the rustle of fabric. Will’s hand finds Nico’s in the dark, their cold fingers lacing together even though Nico knows it’s be more practical to keep his hand inside the sleeping bag where it’s warm. His other hand is curled around the handle of his sword, just in case, but Will swears that they will be okay here. Nico wants to believe him.

”I just”, Will starts, then quiets down. He sounds different from how he sounds in daylight. Nico wonders if that’s because he can’t see Will, of of Will feels more vulnerable like this. ”I guess it’s a good thing it’s so dark ad you can’t see. I just want to say something, and I’m not sure I would be able to say it if I knew for sure you could see my face.”

Last week Will told Nico that apparently children of Hades can see better than average in the dark. Nico doesn’t know how Will knows this, but as Nico’s eyes adjust to the dark he can now see Will’s face, how his eyes are closed and there’s a wrinkle on the bridge of his nose, like there always is when Will thinks about something important. Nico doesn’t say anything, just twitches his hand in Will’s to let him know he’s listening, which results in a quick tug on Will’s lips.

Will doesn’t speak up right away. Nico listens to the silence, to the sound of Will’s breathing and the wind that swishes up in the trees, the insects crawling up the tree trunk not three feet away. This is something Nico has missed in the comfort of his cabin, the way silence isn’t quiet but alive with sounds of its own. Sometimes he feels so small and alone in the absolute silence of the empty Hades cabin. While Nico prefers the safety of Camp Half-Blood, the sounds of the real world provide their own security that Nico finds comfort in.

”This is something I’ve been thinking about a lot”, Will says. Nico is positive now that the difference in his voice is about vulnerability, because even though Nico can’t see anything past Will’s shoulder, he can see Will’s face clear as day. ”I didn’t – I don’t know if this is something that needs to be said but… I just want us to be on the same page, and I can’t be one hundred per cent sure unless I say this.” Nico watches as Will takes a deep breath and counts to five before releasing it. It’s a technique Will taught Nico what feels like eons ago but in truth is barely even three years. ”I want to make you happy, Nico.”

Nico swallows the gasp that wants to be let out and unconsciously tightens his hold on Will’s fingers. ”Will –”

”Please.” Will sounds like this is a difficult topic to talk about, which strikes Nico as odd because Will is talkative one, the one who talks about doubts and plans and feelings while Nico listens and barely manages to contribute. ”Let me talk, otherwise I might… not.”

Nico nods slightly, then realizes that Will can’t see with his eyes closed – wouldn’t probably see with them open, either. ”Okay.”

Will is the kind of person that says a lot without uttering a single word. He doesn’t say is, but as Nico watches he can see gratitude and fondness in every single one of Will’s features, from the tips of his fingers up to his hairline, hidden under a light grey beanie. There’s a curling lock of hair that moves against the bridge of Will’s nose with every breath he takes and that must be ticklish. Nico wants to tuck it away, but that would mean letting go of either Will’s hand or his sword, and neither is an option.

”I want to make you happy”, Will says again, ”because – because you make me happy, and making each other happy is something people do when they’re in love, right?” It’s astonishing how Will can find saying anything difficult when he can say that so easily. It takes Nico’s breath away. ”And we’ve been told our whole lives that demigod lives are often short and – and unhappy. But the world is changing and people like us can reach adulthood more often than not. We can make long term plans and know that reaching them is actually possible.”

Will opens his eyes, but Nico can tell that he still can’t see. A lone cloud moves, letting the moon cast a beautiful stripe of light across Will’s cheeks. For a son of the sun, he looks very good in the moonlight.

”I’ll be going to college in a few years.” Will has been talking about that a long time, almost as long as Nico has known him, so it’s not a surprise. Will wants to be a doctor. Nico thinks he’ll be an excellent one. ”And whatever it is you will want to do in your life, I’m sure it will take you outside of camp at some point. I just – I want us to – ” Words fail Will, it seems, and he closes his eyes again, shuts them tight like a little kid wishing on a shooting star. ”Even if life takes us to different places at a point, I want us to find a way back. I want to find us in a time and place where I can fall asleep like this every night and wake up to you every morning.”

Nico sometimes thinks he’s gotten used to Will’s romantic nature. Will is like that, he likes to make sure Nico and everyone around them knows exactly what’s up, does little everyday things he doesn’t have to, goes out of his way to make Nico feel loved, respected and taken care of. It’s a constant thing, and Nico thinks that at some point he will have immunity and won’t be as affected every time.

This is not that point yet. Nico can feel his heart hammering against his rib cage in a way that is almost painful, and the palms of his hands feel cold and clammy. The tip of his nose is still chilly in the night air, but the rest of his face feels burning hot, and he’s really glad that Will can’t see his blush even though Will has seen it a thousand times before.

”I want to be with you every day”, Will continues, seemingly perfectly unaware of how flustered he’s making Nico, and his voice is getting a little stronger now that he’s getting to the point. ”And I want to make you happy every day. I want you to be happy, and I want to be the thing that makes you happy, and – and that doesn’t have to make sense. I just. I guess I just wanted to make sure you know that.”

And Nico does know. On some level he thinks he has always known. Like Will said, it’s not something that necessarily needs saying, not with them. Will knows Nico better than anyone else, and Nico likes to think that he knows Will better than anyone, too.

For Will to voice these things like this, getting them out and leaving them floating in the air around them – for Nico, that’s a show of trust like nothing he’s experienced. As demigods, they’ve been taught since they were kids to trust each other with their lives, but this is something much bigger. This is Will trusting Nico with his heart and soul, and Nico feels overwhelmed with it, with how much it makes him feel. He isn’t sure how he’s ever going to be able to tell Will exactly what it means, what it does to Nico on so many levels.

Nico shuffles closer until their hands are pressed tight between their chests and their cold noses touch in the dark. He can see Will’s eyelids flutter and closes his own eyes. He thinks he gets it now, why Will wanted to say these things in the dark.

”I want to make you happy, too”, Nico whispers, wishing they were somewhere where he wouldn’t feel the need to sleep with one hand on a sword so that he would put his arms around Will instead. But for now, this will have to do.

(Five years later Nico will think back to this night when he stares at a blank paper in front of him on the table, cursing Will for wanting a traditional wedding ceremony with written vows as a personal touch. he will think about the way it felt like to promise to make another person happy, and he will smile before starting to write, because the promises he makes to Will in marriage are not new ones. They’re something sempiternal.)

#solangelo #solangelo fanfiction #nico di angelo #will solace #percyjacksonsecretsanta2018 #my stuff

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