#I kind of want to write a fic about it from Kim’s perspective | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

yuzukult · 3 years

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acquitted love || sjn & reader

title: acquitted love pairing: johnny suh x reader genre: fluff, angst, co-workers!au, lawyer!au, one-sided enemies to lovers word count: 8.7k warnings: some language/cursing, brief mentions of sex but there's no actual discussions or explicit conversations of the topic, but generally pg-13 prompt: you absolutely hate johnny suh. but when your boss pairs you two up together for one of the highest profile cases, you’re left working close with your enemy but he doesn’t seem to think that way of you. a/n: tada!! i wrote this for the @/ficscafe fic exchange event!! so @urlocalnctstan , hope you enjoy this !! i tried to write it according to what you put as your preferences, but honestly T_T it was so hard bc i was just not getting any ideas!! hopefully this is something you’d like :D enjoy !!

“God, isn’t he just… so attractive?”

Along with a click on your tongue, you feign a hit in Hyeri’s direction, whose reflexes have gotten so much faster in the past couple years of knowing you and it shows when she cowers underneath your arm. She gifts you that not-so-apologetic smile, full of mischievousness because she knows no matter how annoying she can be, you’ll still love her nonetheless.

“Why do you keep talking about Johnny? You know he’s banned as a topic of our conversations.”

Hyeri rolls her eyes, crossing her arms over her white frilled blouse. You know that she doesn’t actually inhabit any romantic feelings for Johnny, but she has a problem of thinking without the usage of her brain when she sees a hot guy.

Not that you think Johnny is hot.

No.

“Come on, you can’t tell me you don’t think he’s at least an ounce of smokin’ hot.” She’s unraveled her arms by now, poking your shoulder incessantly to grasp onto your attention as you're tapping on the buttons of the copier machine. “I bet if you asked him out, he’d say yes.”

You briefly glare at Hyeri. “You realize that he and I don’t get along, right? He keeps finding stupid loopholes in the system to win his cases. He thinks with his heart, not his head, and sometimes, with whatever that thing was in his pants.” And, not to mention that he walks out the court with that big grin stretched from cheek to cheek, giving the ‘good news’ to your well-respected boss (who you desperately seek the approval of but that’s a different story for another time). And every single time, she gives him that nod of appreciation, that ‘nod of approval’ if you will, when it should be given to you and not to some asshole who fucks his way to victory.

“But he’s so hot—”

You narrow your eyes at your friend, and with a stern voice, you call out, “Hyeri.”

She shrugs. “Honestly, though, he’s hella smart. He’s got a job here, and works under your boss. It’s Park, Kim & Associates—notice how Park is first, because she’s a fucking genius. She only picks the intelligent ones to work under her. Why do you think I’m still working for Mr. Kim?”

Park Seohyun and Kim Gonghyun—one of the biggest lawyers in the region, decided to join together to build their own law firm from the ground up. They were both highly respected in their field; Kim Gonghyun spent years of his life being mentored by one of the most famous judges, and as for Park Seohyun, she was, simply put, admirable because of the obstacles she has overcome to make her dreams of working in law to be real. Being a woman, young, and beautiful, she’s had her fair share of encounters with people who disregard her potential, that is until she met Gonghyun—who, admittingly is an old man who seems like he’d be traditional, sexist, even, but he proves to also make people realize how wrong they are with their impression of him.

But, as Mr. Kim is getting older, he’s gotten a bit… lazy.

In fact, he’s been slacking so much that he’s gotten a new rep in the office—if he was your direct supervisor, or your supervisor was under him, you were on the side of the office where all the easier, uncomplicated cases were assigned. Which meant that there was a slight possibility that your talents and skills weren’t as sharp and exceptional as you thought they were.

And well, Hyeri works directly underneath Mr. Kim.

Hyeri doesn’t want a heavy workload, despite the fact that there’s a plethora of files on her desk, stacked up one onto another as tall as her PC tower, and they were all open and closed cases—needless to say that she didn’t mind it.

“Okay, but you got offered a position under Seohyun. Do you really think you’re not wasting your potential?”

Hyeri scoffs. “Never. At least, not now. I’m still in my twenties, I’d like to enjoy my youth while I can, for your information.”

You quirk a brow. “And does any of that pertain fucking Johnny? The hot guy, so you claim?”

She immediately has her hand covering your mouth and you scowl. “Shhhhh, he works here!”

You bite the flesh of her hand and Hyeri instantly retracts. “You think I don’t know my archenemy works here? He sits directly across from my office—I get the best view of the guy and I’m not even one of his fangirls.”

“You’re not gonna be one of those girls who claim they’re different because they don’t like him but then end up falling for him anyway… are you?”

Your hand goes up and Hyeri crouches down.

“Stop it.”

“Seriously though! It’s the classic e2l love story,” she has her hands gesturing in front of her like she’s making an imaginary rainbow, “Two lawyers, constantly butting heads, accept each other’s differences and learn to love—“

“The fuck is an ‘e2l’?”

“Enemies to lovers.”

“Are you high? Stop spitting nonsense.” This time, you’re waving the stack of papers that finish printing in front of her face. “Meet me for lunch later. But if you keep talking about my archenemy and I falling in love, you can kiss a free meal goodbye.”

Hyeri gasps.

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

Maybe. Just maybe, Hyeri might be a tiny smidge right when she says Johnny is handsome. Just a bit though, because she can’t get credit for something like that.

He’s dyed his hair this shade of brunette that sort of reminds you of roasted chestnuts on a cold, winter day, sitting inside of a cooker outside of your childhood home, baking along with some sweet potatoes your mom had gotten from a farmer’s market nearby. Johnny has this focused gaze attached to the screen of his monitor; there’s a dip in the fronts of his brows, lips tightened into a straight line, and constant switching back and forth from the computer while taking notes down in a book that’s laid open in front of him.

You wonder what’s running through his mind, or well, you’re more interested in what files he has sprawled out on top of his desk.

Truthfully, if it hadn’t been obvious enough, you weren’t quite a fan of Johnny Suh and it’s mostly due to his work ethic. He’d been notorious for his reputation of sleeping around—especially with the opposing side—so it’s hard to convince yourself that he didn’t win the case because of his actual capabilities, but it’s because he pulled some strings.

And Johnny doesn’t put much effort into denying it either.

Albeit deep down, you were a teeny bit envious of his confidence. He struts around the courtroom with ease, and when he presents his position, there’s no staggering in his voice—it’s always crisp and clean, weighted with nothing but credence, and never straying from his initial perspective. It’s never a lack of poise, it’s consistently the look he goes for; from the hand gestures and the furrowed brows, to the rhetorical questions in the end of certain statements that has the speculators and jury sitting at the edge of their seat, Johnny had a talent for performing in the courtroom, but that doesn’t mean anything when the way he gets to the success isn’t ethical.

Just at that moment, his eyes lift from the screen and meet yours.

There isn’t any hesitation when you scramble to grab the remote controller, and the shades drop over the windows instantaneously.

“Fuck,” you mutter underneath your breath, tossing the remote onto your desk and shaking your hands after. What if he thought you were admiring him? Maybe he didn’t see. Yeah. It was for a brief second, and with how close your offices were to each other, it would be common to accidentally lock eyes… right?

Interrupting your thoughts, the office phone rings and it nearly startles the living soul out of you. But before you reach for it, your head tilts to the side curiously because the extension number is familiar—it’s Park Seohyun’s, your boss.

What could she be calling for?

You don’t remember fucking something up—but to be fair, half the times, you never really know if you’ve actually fucked up until someone with steaming ears and a crimson face comes storming in. So… did you do something good? Again, you don’t think that’s right either, because other people would’ve made comments about it.

Deciding to swallow your nerves, you pick up the phone.

“Hello?”

“Hey!” Seohyun never fails to be bubbly, and you could never mimic her energy. You definitely had to be born with that kind of enthusiasm. “I have a favor. Hop into my office.”

Leaned back in her leather swivel chair, she had her fingers laced with each other while resting over her stomach. Johnny stands beside you (and you do your best to not look directly at him, especially after that weird staring thing), and you both feel like kids being lectured by parents from how still you are. Her office is huge, probably the size of both yours and Johnny’s combined; with ceiling to floor windows, cases of books that line the perimeter, not to mention the humongous ass couch that practically covers the other half of the room, and her desk was so wide, you estimate about four monitors would fit on there with still additional space for work. That wasn’t even the best part—the view of the city looks almost like a generic lockscreen of a Windows computer, and you’re not even sure why she goes home at night when she basically has a penthouse here.

“As you know, I have a favor.”

“Right,” Johnny retorts, mostly as a filler in the awkward silence. “So… what’s the favor?”

She pulls a box from her purse; square, black and made from a leather material with a lock pad stitched into it, something you’ve never seen before, and she slides the passcode in, then it pops the lid open. A key (a… very small one) sits in the velvety cushion, with nothing else occupying the space with it, and it looks comical. She uses this to open the very top drawer of her desk, and as she pulls using the handle, there’s another box inside, but this time, metal instead of leather, but still black.

What the fuck?

It seems Johnny shares the same thoughts, because he sneaks a glance over at you.

“You see,” Seohyun begins, pressing on the digital keys of the box until there’s a beep at the end and the case hisses open. “There’s a lot of security for this. Which means you understand the importance of it.”

Then, she picks up four manila envelopes and lies on the surface of her wooden top desk. “I have a family emergency to attend to this upcoming week. I’m boarding a flight tonight. So I’m leaving the Hwang v. Yoon case to the two of you.”

“Fuck—”

“The what?”

You and Johnny are sputtering out of shock. The Hwang v. Yoon case is the biggest case that the firm is involved in currently, and the only people involved in it have been Seohyun and Gonghyun. It’s been on every social media platform you could think of; from Facebook to Twitter, TikTok to Instagram—there’s even this weird website for emo/grunge teens or strange kids that like writing fanfic called Tumblr, and whatever that is, it’s discussed on there too.

“What about Gonghyun?”

Seohyun scoffs, closing the drawer and dropping the key back into her special box. Where do you even get a box like that? “He can’t handle this alone. So I’m kicking him off until I come back. I thought about letting the two of you work with him, but his ego is so inflated, it’ll get in the way of our chances of winning. It’s easier if it was just me and him, but seeing that things at home aren’t well, I’m going to need you two to step up to the plate.”

The room goes quiet. The only sounds you hear are the muffled noises of a typical bustling office outside the thick walls of Seohyun’s office, and at first, excitement rushes through your blood because Seohyun thought of you taking over a special, high profile case.

Albeit, another realization gets soaked up, and it’s that Johnny also came to mind, and that because it’s such an important case, the two of you would be… working… many… hours… together.

Maybe you should back out of it—but then again, this is such a one-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Imagine winning this— it wouldn’t be good for just the law firm, it’d be good for you too. Your name, in articles on these big fancy news websites, perhaps even on new channels, talking about how you, this amazing lawyer, won the Hwang v. Yoon case.

But then you’re snapped back into reality when Johnny leans over to take the envelopes from Seohyun.

If your name is on those platforms, so is Johnny’s.

God, this guy just ruins everything, doesn’t he?

“We’ll take care of it, Seohyun. You can trust us,” he says assuringly, a smile tugging on each corner of his lips with that dazzling gaze. “We’ll be at our best.”

Kiss ass.

If you had the option, you wouldn’t be spending your Saturday night here at work, in one of those conference rooms with a long table in the middle, a big projector that displays on the wall, and a random black leather loveseat couch that lines the one corner in case there’s too many occupants.

Especially since the person who’s accompanying you is Johnny Suh.

There’s probably a lot of people who would kill to be in your position (Hyeri being one of them), but you dread it. Not to be that person, but what’s so special about him anyway? What? He’s tall, has some muscles, long luscious hair that he can slick back with that sultry stare—wait, what?

“Alright, moving on…” From what? You guys just started? It’d been clear with Seohyun that the mornings would be dedicated to other cases, but nights would be considered overtime and where you’d zoom in your focus on Ms. Hwang’s justice. “Let’s take a look at the facts here.”

Johnny slips off his blazer, hanging it on the back of one of the chairs as you’re seated in another, leaning back comfortably with an arm resting on the table. He loosens the first few buttons of his dress shirt before folding up the sleeves, and that’s when you notice a little thing in the inner crook of his elbow—is that a fucking sunflower? Is that what he uses to reel girls in? That he’s soft enough to have a pretty little flower etched onto his gentle, silky and supple—

“Okay,” he says, interjecting into your thoughts with a laser pointer in his hand. He taps on the space bar of his laptop that mirrors what’s on his screen, but then, that’s when you realize what’s on the slides.

There’s a collage of pictures, mostly street, casually walking themed ones, but the common factor was that they were of Yoon Changmin, the man you guys were up against. They were all paparazzi-like photos, which begs the question, how did he get pics like this, and why did he get them?

“What’s the point of this?” you ask, voice laced with nothing but suspicion.

“We gotta get into the mind of the enemy.” You wanna get into the mind of your enemy, too.

You gesture to the one image of Changmin with an arm around his girlfriend and a finger up his nose. “Seems like he’s trying to reach inside of his head instead of us. These are just everyday pictures, Johnny. What’s that going to do for us?”

“Well,” he begins, turning to look at the wall of ‘evidence’. “You see—wait, holy shit.”

Freezing in the midst of reaching for your coffee, your head jolts in the direction of your partner. “What? What is it?”

“Holy shit,” he exclaims, “Hoooooooooly shit. Why didn’t I see this before? This changes everything.”

Furrowing your brows, you’ve given up getting your drink and dropped your hands onto the table. “Tell me, what is it?”

“This is a game changer.”

“Johnny,” you call out sternly, and his eyes link with yours before he instantly points to a particular picture with his red laser pointer.

“Look at that.” There’s pride saturated in his words, but when you look at what he’s indicating, your body slouches in disappointment.

Why the hell was he directing your attention onto Changmin’s thighs? Surely, there’s no denying that they were attractive—you recall that his alibi was at the gym that very night of the crime.

“What? He’s guilty for showing off his toothpick legs?” They were lean, you never said they were muscular.

“No,” he retorts, slightly irritated by your response as he rolls his eyes. “Look at his pants.”

“Okay…”

“They’re jean shorts.”

There’s a pregnant pause, but the expression on your face is so loud it can’t be hidden.

Johnny continues, “That’s a fashion crime.” He says it as if it’s an obvious fact known by many. “Not to mention that it’s fucking raw hem. He should be arrested.”

Suddenly, your opinion of him thinking too much with his heart dissipates because it seems like he’s thinking out of his ass instead. Did he win those cases out of pity? How did this guy even pass the bar? How about law school? How the hell did he even get into law school?

“I don’t think—”

“Listen, alright, just hear me out,” he’s got the palms of his hands resting flat on the surface of the table, doing his best to gain your full undivided attention. “Only assholes wear jean shorts. They flaunt that shit around like they own the place, but they’re horrendous pieces of clothing that should not be on a male’s body. I don’t care what you say, what your opinion is, because that is a fact.”

Puffing your cheeks, you feel at a loss. If Johnny is who you had to get this done, it feels like you’re not going to be finding much evidence any time soon.

“Okay, if… if that’s how you want to play it, then show me the evidence—other than those 2012 cut off denim shorts.”

He reaches over to hit his space bar again, then with a wink and a slide change, he leans closer to you and says with that deep, honeyed voice, “Gladly.”

You hate admitting when you’re wrong.

Ironically, you concede and will confess when you actually are, but it doesn’t mean that you enjoy it. For example, when Hyeri claims that the intern Mark had a crush on you, you quickly waved her off, stating something along the lines of, “I’m too intimidating; there’s better chances of him being scared of me than ever finding me attractive.” And then a week later, you owed Hyeri free lunch at that hip ramen place downtown because Mark had approached your desk that very morning with a bouquet of red roses flowers for you, a cheeky grin glued to his face with pools of hearts in his eyes, and ready to ask you on a date because it was the day after his internship had ended. Naturally, it wasn’t fun rejecting that poor college boy.

But, you won’t say you find Johnny interesting or handsome. Or that there’s potential when it came to possibly (just barely the slightest smidge) that you’d ever consider asking Johnny out. He’s your enemy here, you’ve mentioned that a multitude of times, and you stand firm on that very declaration, despite the fact that sometimes when he gets too close, your breath gets caught in your throat and you feel like you can’t get whatever’s lodged in out.

Albeit it’s not the whole “you guys are gonna end up together” comment that Hyeri makes and resulting in you denying it afterwards, it’s that Johnny might… be a decent lawyer.

He’s not the best one you’ve seen; the stupid revelation he had on the first day working on the case about the jean shorts is evidence for it, but it’s the days following that were slowly changing your perspective on him.

When you said, “He thinks too much with his heart more than with his head,” it was 100% correct.

When meeting with potential witnesses, you recognized that Johnny empathizes with people often; when they cry and start panicking from being overwhelmed, he's quick on his feet to put an arm around them, share reassuring words, and have them back to normal in record’s time.

And, well… you? You’re the one making them cry in the first place.

You don’t want to fully take the blame for being the cause of their tears, but people need to hear what’s happening, and the very detail that they can’t even handle this information probably means they’re not worthwhile as a key witness.

Johnny, of course, thinks otherwise.

He believes that these people should have a voice (although you’ve alluded that they might be more useless than helpful), and putting them on the stand with Yoon Changmin there would change the view of the jury to supporting Hwang Naeri.

“Listen, if we get these people to sign the form, we’d get witnesses and it’ll help Naeri,” Johnny claims, frantically moving his arms annoyingly as he talks, trying his best to express the gravity of the situation, “and maybe, maybe, money wouldn’t be how Changmin wins, but how he loses. We can’t have another person with jean shorts walking on the streets of our city like this—they deserve to go to prison.”

You scrunch up your nose. “Why does this always revert back to the jean shorts?”

“It always has to do with jean shorts,” he snaps back matter-of-factly. “Any straight guy wearing jean shorts with that much goddamn confidence has done some wrong in their lives.”

“Right, but I’m pretty sure that the crimes he did are mainly the reason why he’s being prosecuted against.”

“Jean shorts are the windows to the soul.”

“I’m almost 100% sure that eyes are the windows to the soul, but whatever. If you genuinely believe that the women we met today would benefit our case, then… okay. Let’s bring them to the stand.”

On the contrary to you, Johnny doesn’t have a hard time convincing witnesses to testify. You see the way that he works; those kind eyes directed at the participants, the pools of chocolate were sweet, saturated in nothing but tenderness and warmth, then he does that weird thing where he reaches for their hands and cups them before the words that escapes from his lips are enough to swoon them to stand in front of a courtroom.

Maybe, just maybe, there’s a method to his so-called madness.

Aggression and bluntness don’t work, it seems, because when you’re the one attempting to convince these people to go against the man that had done them wrong, they’re less willing to do it. Something about ‘moving on,’ and ‘not wanting to relive those memories again,’ but if it was you, you’d want justice. Then again, not everyone is like you, and not everyone thinks like you, and spending this abundance of time with Johnny is slowly getting you to ease into that perspective.

So… the initial impression you had of him may have been wrong.

And maybe, just maybe, you’re developing some feelings for him, just as Hyeri predicted.

“Do you have a boyfriend?”

His abrupt personal question is enough to have the coffee spill into your mouth to slide down the ‘wrong throat’ because you’re choking, hand on your chest as you’re tackling to regain your breath again and Johnny only stares in disbelief, blinking blankly. “Are… are you okay?”

You glare at him through a hooded gaze. “Well,” you clear your throat once more. “Now, I am.”

“Cool.” He nods, retracting his hand so he could rub your back soothingly, deciding it’s best to stay away. “Are you going to answer my question?”

Quirking a brow, your head tilts slightly in puzzlement. “Why are you asking this?”

Johnny shrugs. “Isn’t it weird that we’ve hung out with each other for a whole week—stayed here for nights and we both don’t know anything about each other?”

Tapping your fingers against the wooden top table, you sigh. Maybe he’s got a point; after all, “Keep your friends close; keep your enemies closer,” right?

“No, I’m single.”

Johnny’s face suddenly brightens, ears perked, and his body straightens its posture in his seat at this revelation. “Oh, uh, I didn’t know that. You seemed busy in your personal life, so I, uh… was just wondering.” He looked anxious, but you couldn’t pinpoint why. “I, um, I’m single too, by the way, in case you’re wondering.” You weren’t.

The plethora of cardboard and plastic boxes scattered across the table was a representation of the night. It’s been long, exhausting, and messy, mostly because it’s a Friday night, the hearing was on Monday, and the two of you were nowhere near close to having enough to present to the court. In fear of disappointing Seohyun, the two of you agreed to stay over the office for the weekend to cram work for the case. There’s no denying that the atmosphere is weirder on the weekends, especially since, well, no one really comes here on the weekends. Johnny had to use the bathroom earlier and ran into the cleaning lady and she nearly shit her pants because she didn’t think anyone was here, so she had music blasting in her headphones.

Johnny is… interesting. He makes you laugh—or well, want to laugh, but you don’t give him that sense of satisfaction—and he’s smart but in his own weird way. He’s not like the other lawyers you’ve met, or any of the law students you attended University with because he’s more lighthearted and free-spirited than the rest, taking life in strides instead of just overwhelming himself in the abundance of stress that work brings.

He’s entirely the opposite of you.

And maybe you could learn something from the guy, but there’s something in you that brews hatred toward him. Possibility that you resent how easy he makes being a lawyer seem when you’re struggling in your day-to-day life to make things work.

But it’s way too fucking hard when he’s just… like that.

Despite all of that, he’s very generous and kind toward you. On rough days, he delivers your coffee order, the one you always get because he remembers what you asked the intern to get for you the last time, and he’s good at identifying when you’re just having that kind of day. You eventually learn he has a photographic memory (fucking show off), so when he saw that crumpled napkin with scribbles of what you want in that dumb intern’s hand, it wasn’t hard to remember. Which, by the way, is how he’s able to get into the most prestigious school for undergrad, manage to pass the bar so easily, and get into law school effortlessly.

And knowing this information sort of angers you more.

You know this isn’t his fault—he’s been blessed with a trait that people desire, one that you also yearn for, but the lucky ones get handed a lot of things in life. You wonder if he’s the type of guy who wins girls easily after matching with them on dating sites because of this stupid ass ‘photographic memory.’ Does he sleep with them right after? Does it ever get serious?

You shrug your shoulders and shake your head. You shouldn’t even let these strange thoughts haunt you, especially when you don’t even like him.

He’s a spoiled brat who gets everything handed to him on a silver platter.

So you’re left counting the remaining days until the trial so you don’t ever have to work with Johnny Suh this closely again.

Okay, well, it’s evident that bad luck is glued to your side because after you win the Hwang v. Yoon case for your law firm with that asshole, Seohyun is so impressed. So goddamn impressed that she insists that all the high profile cases are to be given to both you and Johnny.

To work as a team.

Together.

Jesus, this is Hell for you.

Surely, the promotion and raise that came along with it was definitely a plus, but it has you wondering if it’s even worth it. He’s been your unspoken enemy since the first day, and although you think you’re pretty forthright about your hatred for this guy, he can’t seem to read social cues.

When you’re pushing the double doors into the conference room the two of you often spend working on cases in, you expect Johnny to be ready for another day. But strangely enough, Johnny doesn’t have his laptop out or any of the notebooks sprawled across the table.

“Um,” you slide the strap of your bag off your shoulder and onto the spare chair. “Did you come late or something?”

He takes in a deep breath like he’s been holding back something. “We need to talk.”

There’s worry inscribed into his features; from the crease in between his brows, to his pursed lips, and eyes soaked in concern, almost like he’s got bad news to share and it has your stomach in knots. Was it that the case was thrown out? It couldn’t be, right? You both worked hard, presented your stance to the point that the jury and the judge were in awe with your findings. Sure, you had to cover Johnny’s mouth right before he was about to go off in a tangent about jean shorts, but overall, it was a good win, a hard one to go back on and pull out the wrongs of it. So what was it?

“I’m quitting our partnership.”

You blink. “What?”

He gestures to the room with his hands as if there’s anything out to reference. “This thing. Our work. The big profile cases. The famous stuff. I told Seohyun that I won’t be doing it anymore and she can revoke the promotion and the raise.”

You’re still not catching on. “… Why?” Was it something you did? Yeah, you weren’t a big fan of Johnny either, but were you so bad that he decided to not go through with the raise because of you?

“Because,” he pushes his blazer back, hands sliding into the front pockets of his navy blue trousers. “There’s a policy put into place. Those who are on the same cases cannot have any personal relations with each other that extend past friendships.”

“We’re not even friends?” With confusion written across your face, your head tilts to the side. “I’m not… I’m not catching on here.”

“I like you.”

Startled, the words you want to say are stolen out of your mouth. You’re left with a mixture of perturbation and bewilderment, uncertain where to go from there because Johnny asked for the removal of both a promotion and additional money that could be so good for his career… and it’s all because he has a crush on you?

“You quit the best thing that could’ve happened to you because you like me?”

“Yeah,” Johnny states calmly, sucking in his cheeks for a brief moment. “Ain’t that romantic?”

You scoff. “No. Absolutely not. You’re insane! Why would you do yourself dirty like that? Use your head, Johnny, you’re constantly thinking with that stupid heart of yours, and hate to break it to you, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Combing your hair with your fingers, you let out a sigh. “Go ask Seohyun for the position back. Say you made a mistake and—”

“I’m not asking her for the position back.”

Johnny doesn’t make any sense to you. “What? Why wouldn’t you do that?

“Because,” he laughs in disbelief, not because he thinks you’re funny. “I’m not going to force myself to work with a girl that I keep falling for. That’s self-inflicting, you realize that, right? You’re amazing, but you can seriously be so dense sometimes.”

“I’m dense? You just told one of the best law firms in the city that you don’t want to work on the important cases anymore because you have a stupid crush on your partner!”

“If we were on a team with more people, maybe it’d be different. But it’s just us two. You think I won’t fall any harder? That’s not easy. Every time I see you working, I swear I could be hopelessly in love with you one day.”

Your heart stops for a second.

This is Johnny Suh you were talking about here. One of the claimed best lawyers in your office, one of the most intelligent people that Hyeri has ever met, and Seohyun evidently backs this up because she’s given him so much recognition for his work. He’s the guy who worked with you to win the Hwang v. Yoon case, he’s the one who brought up the stupid jean shorts that seemed so far-fetched at the time, but they were a crucial detail everyone missed—it so happened that when Changmin bought those dumb shorts, there was evidence of at least one of his crimes in that store from the security cameras.

Any cis-gendered male who wears jean shorts can’t be trusted, according to Johnny.

And candidly speaking? You couldn’t even deny that. Your past two ex-boyfriends both wore jean shorts and the one cheated on you and the other one was caught money laundering.

“Listen,” he begins, interrupting your foggy thoughts. “I’m not asking you to tell me you like me back. I’m telling you because you should know, and that I can’t go on any further without letting you know. I’ll, uh, be in my office. Seohyun said she’d find a replacement for me.”

Hyeri is his replacement.

She’s great company and does a good job of helping you with whatever you need, but that was just it. Hyeri followed you, she never led with you, just as Johnny does. Agreeing with everything you say, mindlessly trailing behind everything you do—Hyeri was smart, but she couldn’t figure out how to think for herself when it came to these bigger cases because she’s never been given such a responsibility. But you couldn’t even blame her because it’s what she was told to do under Gonghyun.

“You said that you think Maeri snatched the bracelet?”

“No, I said if you watched the security video that the jewelry store submitted, it clearly shows that Maeri snatched the bracelet. Not that I ‘think.’ The proof is right there, Hyeri.”

She nods, resuming back to her work on the computer. Truthfully, Hyeri felt more like an assistant than a co-worker, someone to bounce ideas off of and to see from a different perspective. And as much as you hated Johnny, he had decent points. He had ways of making you put yourself into the shoes of people you never thought you were; although the guy was obnoxious, at least he actually was… good at his job.

Deciding you can’t take it anymore when Hyeri asks for the tenth time that hour about your beliefs rather than her own, you abruptly stand from your seat.

“Where are you going?”

“Out,” you reply shortly. “I’ll be back.”

It was just a spontaneous thought. It’s after hours, and although there are some people who stay behind to get some work done, you had your doubts that Johnny would still be here. He seems to have a better grip on that work/life balance thing people talked about (unlike yourself), but it didn’t hurt to check his office, right?

It’s a good thing you went with it. Because right across from yours, there’s Johnny.

There’s one single lamp that shines over the tabletop of his desk, and the other sources of light in his office are from his computer screen and the ones from the city skyline from behind him. It has him seemingly angelic like this, so serene, calm, and collected, only focused on what’s laid out in front of him. The sun has gone down, people have gone home, but Johnny remains, hardworking as always, despite your previous observations that he’s a lazy, unprofessional guy who gets everything handed down to him.

With a knock on his glass door, he flinches, head raising up and eyes meeting yours.

Were his eyes always this sparkly?

Opening the door, Johnny drops the pen in his hand and crosses his arms before leaning back in his seat. “What’s up?”

“You’re here late,” you state the obvious, and Johnny only nods in return, without a rebuttal in sight. “You aren’t normally here late. At least, before the Hwang v. Yoon case.”

“Yeah, you’re right. But Seohyun dropped something on my desk this morning. Wanted to work on it. What brings you here?”

Inhaling in a deep breath of courage, your hands bundle up into a fist by your side. “Please come back.”

Johnny raises a brow. “What?”

“Come back,” you reiterate, this time, it’s less tense and releases with ease. Caving in isn’t usually this effortless to you, but something about Johnny makes you feel… comfortable enough.“Come back and work with me again. Yes, I’m not supportive of how you do things—”

“Then let’s go out on a date.”

You freeze. Legs rooted into the floors of Johnny’s office, you’re left immobile and diffident on how to react next. It wasn’t what you were expecting, although you weren’t quite sure what you were hoping to anticipate, but it most definitely was not this.

“I—”

“I said my terms,” he retorts, shutting the book in front of him before shuffling up from his seat. He’s leaving, you realize, and Johnny’s ready to head home for the night and you’re not sure if you could handle an entire weekend with Hyeri here. “And, I meant what I said. One date, and if it really doesn’t work out, I’ll stay on the case.”

Chewing on your bottom lip anxiously, the next words that come out are out of character for you. “And… what if it does?”

A soft smile tugs from each corner of his mouth. “Then we’ll figure it out from there. Promise.”

This is… awkward. It shouldn’t be, but yet somehow, it remains awkward.

You’ve spent weeks with Johnny before, and those moments were in a room, in the middle of the night, and alone. Hours and hours were dedicated to work, yes, but it was just the two of you and nobody else.

So why is it so weird being in a five Michelin star restaurant with him?

Maybe it’s the atmosphere. The dim lights, the white clothed tables in lieu of the scratched up wooden one back at the law firm, and instead of leather seats, there’s a neutral beige chaise cushion for the dining chair, slightly less comfortable because it doesn’t recline like the one in your office. Instead of an array of photos and evidence disseminated in front of you, there’s a laminated menu with a multitude of options of what to have for dinner.

Johnny gets the steak with mashed potatoes and string beans, and you order something similar but seared salmon for the main protein. The waitress offers wine, babbling on about the age of the red, where the vineyard is located, and the dryness to sweetness—to be honest, you could care less; you’d rather have gin and sprite with a squirt of lime. A couple glasses of that and you can almost guarantee that the night would end with a deep slumber.

Oddly enough, Johnny seems nervous. Ever since he pulled up in his midnight black Audi in front of your apartment complex, he’s been acting strange. He keeps wiping his sweaty palms off the material of his trousers, occasionally swiping off the droplets that fall on the side of his face.

“Are you… okay?” you suddenly ask, adjusting your dress in your seat. Deciding to go with a black silk dress with a slit up the leg and your hair let down, it’s not a look you often sport but since you’re going on a date (one you haven’t been on in quite some time), you figured it would be nice to at least play the part.

“I’m, uh, honestly, I’ve never really asked a girl out before.”

You quirk a brow curiously. “What? You’re telling me you never asked a girl out before?”

He lets out a bashful laugh with a faint nod, making an attempt to swallow his nerves after. “Honestly, I’ve always been asked out and not the other way around. Not to sound like that guy, but I never really had to put effort into trying for girls. They kind of just…”

“—Throw themselves at you?”

He beams. “Yeah! Like that. I don’t really know how to react half the time, but it makes the whole dating scene a little bit easier.” Geez, he called you dense, but he’s over here acting clueless.

Either way, it feels like whatever opinion you had about Johnny remained true. He never had to try when it came to the dating scene, and you could only imagine what that means for work and the relationships he has with the women in your career field.

“Mm, does that usually happen with work too?”

Befuddled, Johnny leans back in his chair. “What do you mean by that?”

With a shrug of your shoulders, you’re poking the meat of your salmon that falls off easily. After the first initial bite, the fish practically melts on impact when it touches the tip of your tongue, smooth like butter and bursting with flavor that couldn’t be described by any common person because it wouldn’t do the salmon justice. Johnny seemed to put a lot into this date, and you’re left pondering what the point of this was. Did he actually like you, or was he trying to get into your head? “Just seems like you get a lot of special treatment.”

“Are you jealous?”

“In what way?” you snap back.

“Are you jealous of me because I’m getting this so-called special treatment that you think I’ve always had, or were you jealous of the girls that seemingly got my attention?”

You’re left without anything to say.

It was a good observation he made because truthfully, you never saw it like that.

In actuality, you often saw Johnny as your rival. He climbed the ladder in the field with ease, and it wasn’t hard to quickly blame his success on the fact that he was a guy in a male dominated industry, but the fact that there’s a possible interpretation for your hatred may be from these feelings you might’ve been harboring for him this entire time… that can’t be it… right?

“I mean, look at where you are now,” you begin, trying to defend yourself. It can’t be true that the reason you’ve been bitter about Johnny was because of the girls that got his attention, and one of them not being you. “You got a high position from—”

“—From hard work,” Johnny interjects with his brows furrowed. “I didn’t get to where I was because I slept around, if that’s what you’re insinuating. I knew you sort of always hated me, but I’ve always admired you. I like your work ethic, I like your style, even though we’re both on opposite spectrums, I like the way you think and I wanted to know what it was like being partners with you. Getting to be on that case with you showed me more than just who you were as a lawyer, but who you were as a person. I like you, but I’m trying to put my finger on why you hate me so much.”

“So you noticed.” Sucking in your cheeks, your eyes trail elsewhere—from the fork that lays beside your plate, to the glass filled halfway with wine, to the little candle that sits in between the two of you that flickers the way he has your heart when he expresses once more how he feels about you.

“Yeah, of course I noticed. If you like someone, it’s kind to miss details like that about them. So… you really hated me because you thought I slept my way to the top, huh?”

“I mean…” shoulders dropping in exasperation, you run your fingers through your disheveled hair. “All those rumors—”

“Again, they’re just rumors. I worked hard to get here, you know. And I’m kind of offended that you thought of me that way.”

You scoff. “They’re rumors, Johnny, it’s kind of hard to ignore all the office gossip when that’s all you hear. Plus, it wasn’t hard to believe either, with the whole flirtatious act whenever you encounter anyone who’s breathing and has a vagina.”

“I wasn’t flirting.”

“You need a book for dummies that elaborates on what’s flirting or not, because Johnny Suh, whatever it is you do with your body language in front of that chick who sits by the front door.”

“You mean Siwoo? The pregnant one who’s married to her highschool sweetheart? Also, how do you not know our receptionist’s name?”

You throw your arms into the air. “How am I supposed to know her name?”

He tilts his head to the side, genuinely baffled. “Do you… not talk to anyone outside of Hyeri?”

Your silence answers his question.

“I… honestly, I don’t know if I should be offended or if I should be honored. You think I didn’t earn anything that I have now, you think that everything I have was handed to me. On one hand, it’s flattering that you think my looks and my bedroom skills could do that but at the same time… I’m offended because you think I’m incapable.”

“I never said you were incapable—”

“But you implied it.”

Hands falling onto your lap, it’s your turn to gulp. His words come shooting at you, but you’re without a shield to protect yourself, and with the new experience of working with Johnny, there comes the realization at times that Johnny is a hard worker. There are some things that he says and does that aren’t like the people you’ve encountered, and being put on new cases with Hyeri only proved it. He’s thoughtful in the sense that whenever you’d bring up your stance on something, he challenges you with what the defense might counter.

Johnny makes you want to be better. Not just against him, but to brush off the dust on your skills and enter into the battlefield of a courtroom to showcase them.

“Well, if you’re staying silent, I just want to say that I tried,” the crinkle in between your brows makes another appearance because Johnny is great at leaving you stunned and confused. “I really like you. I love how your head works, and I wanna be with someone like that but I also can’t be with someone who doesn’t respect me.”

Why is it that when you’re in that conference room with him, you’re not afraid and never running out of things to say, but now you’re empty handed?

“I’ll pay for dinner. Grab you an Uber. I honestly thought I could overlook those things, and maybe your perspective for me has changed, but I could see it on your face. It’s the same.”

After that date with Johnny, his life turns back to normal.

Yours? Not so much.

Candidly speaking, part of you missed working with Johnny. You were wrong about him, so wrong, and even when you wanted to apologize at the dinner for what you thought of him, the pride in you was like a vicious plague that blackened your insides, preventing you from ever saying those words.

Oftentimes, you’d still be able to sneak a glimpse of him in his office with that same look on his face—full of concentration and nothing else in his mind other than the task at hand.

The cases you have with Hyeri entail a head like Johnny’s. Someone who could question you, to protest against your stance when there could be flaws in it. It feels like deja vu each time you think about it, each time you open a new case file and Hyeri sits there, perched in that seat beside yours, eyes sparkling with what you have in mind next, instead of what she has going on in hers.

Although you’ve tried convincing yourself that maybe, just maybe, what you feel for Johnny is purely professional but when you see him standing by the water cooler with a couple of your coworkers, eyes mimicking the moon crescents in the skies, replicating the ways his lips curl in elation—it was beginning hard to believe that it was all platonic feelings.

So maybe you should be bold for once. Pull off that exterior that displays you as someone who isn’t just independent and assiduous, but someone who’s stubborn and aggressive in getting what they want—and not in a good way.

This time, you’ll show it in a good way.

Or at least, you’ll try.

Johnny is a routine kind-of-guy—he grabs an iced americano every morning at the coffee shop downstairs at the edge of the street, he does his daily 11:00AM drop-by at the water cooler to refill his Hydroflask (which was his prized possession, by the way), and parked in the same exact spot in the parking garage of your building, despite there being an abundance of places he could choose.

That’s why you decide to stand by his car after work that day. Bouncing on the balls of your feet, hands shaking because it’s your turn to feel anxious. That blazer that once fit so comfortably in the morning suddenly feels tight and hot in the afternoon, and the weather hasn’t even changed. Your bag slung over your shoulder weighs ten times heavier than an hour ago, and you can’t stop your jaw from tightening.

Before your thoughts could spiral off all the possibilities of what the outcome may be when you tell Johnny how you feel, he’s already standing there, feet away from you with that dip in the fronts of his brows that you want to smoothen out the crinkles of with the pad of your thumb.

“Hi,” you greet, faint and peculiarly different from your other approaches. “Um, I just… was waiting for you.”

“Hey,” Johnny says back, the first few buttons of his shirt already unraveled, his blazer hung over his forearm and the sleeves are rolled up. “I see that. What’s up with you?”

“Um,” your leg was jittery, hard to control so you spat everything you had to say out as fast as you could before he could see right through you. “I just wanted to apologize. For everything. You’re admirable, kind, and I wish I inhabited those same characteristics you have. I think professionally, you’ve got great ideas, one that could be implemented into mine and what we did together for that case was just… yeah. We could do something big if we put our heads together.”

Johnny nods in agreement. The relationship between you two work-wise was obvious, he knew that much. “And what about… outside of that?”

“I like you,” you choked, barely getting the words out. “More than just coworkers, um, I guess, more than friends but I’m not really sure since you walked out on our first date,” inhaling in a deep breath of courage, you continue on, “and I don’t know how you feel now after I’m standing before you like this, asking for another chance and that I’m sorry.”

He stares at you blankly, and it leaves you unsure whether or not he accepts your apology. “You know why we ended that date early.”

“Well,” you start again, “can we… start over and try again? I promise I won’t tempt you to end the date early this time.”

And with that, there’s the signature smile that Johnny sports that swoons girls, makes their knees weak, and heart clench but this time… it’s just for you.

“I’d really like that.”

#ficscafe #nct fanfic #johnny x reader #johnny fanfic #johnny suh #johnny nct #nct 127 #nct 127 fanfic #suh johnny #gyukultfics #idk what else to tag #hopefully this does well :|

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kim-ruzek · 3 years

Text

To build a life, let us share our past

Summary: Adam takes Kevin with him to pick out an engagement ring, wendy and Nicole comes up and Kevin tells Adam he needs to tell Kim about her.

Fix-it, technically.

Word Count: 3.5k

Read on AO3

Notes: So many little things would be better solved is Burzek just communicated, so I'm writing fix it fics for them all! I hope y'all enjoy!

“You’re going to ask Kim to marry you?” Kevin stares at Adam, with shock and disbelief. Adam likes to think he can read his best friend’s face expertly—maybe not as well as Kim, who has known Kev for longer, but well enough—and if Adam knows Kev, then he knows there is also amazement and love in his expression as well.

Adam hopes there is, at least. He hasn’t been with Kim long, just a year, as of last week. This is fast, Adam knows that. But it’s real, and he knows more than he’s ever known anything else that Kim is his future, his ‘One’. And Kevin’s their mutual best friend, his approval means more than anyone else’s to Adam and Kim, and Adam knows an engagement wouldn’t feel right to either of them if Kevin had problems with it.

“I love her, man. She’s it.” Adam says simply, hoping to infuse the words with all his love, respect and care for Kim.

“I know you do, bro. The two of you together... You know you two are my family and I couldn’t be happier,” Kevin is a man of little words, but every one is from the heart, and Adam knows how earnest he is.

“I’d say congratulations but that’d involve Kim having said yes, so I know you’re not just telling me this.” No one could say Kevin Atwater is not a smart man, or a quick minded one.

“I need you to help me pick out a ring.” Adam tells him.

“Me?” Kevin blinks.

“Yeah. I don’t, this ring stuff is confusing. And you know Kim, you’ll know what she likes.” Ensuring that Kim gets the ring she deserves, the ring she’ll wear for years to come, the ring she’ll love, is something that is important to Adam, is needed. And so much jewellery looks the same to him, but he knows, knows, that Kevin has more of an eye for this stuff.

“We did used to window shop, on our slower patrol days,” Kevin muses. His words rings a bell inside his mind, a vague recollection of Kim telling him that when she was talking about stories from patrol. He had forgotten all about that, but now he feels even more confident in his decision to ask Kevin for his help.

“So you’ll help me?” Adam smiles hopefully at his friend. Kevin grins back, pulling him into a hug.

“Yeah, of course I’ll help you! Let’s go pick out a ring for our girl.”

The ring shop feels daunting, glass cabinets everywhere, jewellery of all kinds inside, and well dressed employees standing, waiting. The store feels delicate, and Adam feels way too out of place. Too tall, too broad, to masculine.

Deciding to go on a quiet day that they’re on call feels like a mistake now, Adam being way too aware of his gun on him, and how clunky it makes him feel. The only times Adam’s, really, been in a jewellery shop has been after a robbery, and without glass broken everywhere and no cops swarming the place, he feels like an imposter, like he doesn’t belong.

Of course, he’s been in shops like this before not related to work. The times he’s gone to buy his sister, or mom jewellery, and of course when Wendy’s best friend, Sara, dragged him to the store to point out which ring Wendy wanted. Those times didn’t feel as tense, as suffocating, as if everyone is staring at him like this does, and Adam can only attribute that to being because this is so much more important than those times, that he’s aware this could put a spanner into an otherwise good relationship, that he has so much more to loose.

Kevin is beside him, and Adam’s glad once more that he invited Kev to come along with him as his presence is calming. Logically, it feels like he shouldn’t, Kevin is taller and broader than Adam, and his presence also feels too big and clunky for this delicate store. But Kevin doesn’t seem the slightest bit fazed, and that calms Adam’s nerves.

“Here,” Kev leads him to a counter with rings on display underneath. Adam tries not to focus on the worker giving them a look.

Kevin had picked out what store to look at, saying of course they could look at several, but that Kim has mentioned she’d want a ring from a smaller, more ethical shop. Adam recalls conversations like that as well.

Adam looks down at all the different rings, feeling overwhelmed by it all. He has a roundabout idea of what to get, nothing too big or flashy—that’s not Kim’s style, especially in their line of work, you don’t want something like that while interacting with criminals—but something simple in its beauty. Like Kim, Adam thinks. To him she’s flawless, effortlessly, and so, so beautiful.

“This is so hard,” Adam groans to Kev, running a hand through his hair.

“Take your time, bro. It’s a process, just don’t stress.” Kevin calmly says back. Adam looks at his friend, speaking again as he remembers the whole purpose of him inviting him along.

“You seen anything?”

“I’m here to help you. And I will. But you know her better than anyone, even me, so just look yourself first. We have time. We can come back.” Kevin reasons.

“Right, right. I don’t know, man, it was easier with Wendy. She had already picked out the ring herself, and her friend told me which one. But this? Kim deserves the best, I just don’t want to get it wrong.” He laments.

The experience of picking out the ring for Wendy wasn’t exactly a magical experience or anything particular special. He showed up, rung his card, and that was that. And at the time he was grateful for the simplicity of the whole matter, and although right now a part of him wishes this was that easy, Adam knows, deep down, that as stressful as this is, he prefers this experience more. That he’s involved, that he’s excited, that he knows beyond everything that he wants to spend the rest of his life with Kim. This is everything that experience wasn’t, and Adam knows he would take on all this stress a million times over for Kim.

“Nikki was even easier. I mean, 40 dollar ring, impulse proposal? Guess though, this just says I’m getting it right this time.” Adam continues to muse out loud. Kevin gives him a strange look.

“Nikki? Were you engaged to another girl?” He questions and Adam is reminded that although it feels like he’s known his best friend forever, they haven’t even known each other two years yet, that there’s things he wasn’t around for. Adam’s social circles up until he was pulled from the academy was the same he had for years, and Kev’s met a few of his mates, so Adam forgets that Kevin and his friendship is still so recent.

“Yeah, I was. When I was like twenty, for like three months. It was a train wreck. A drunken thought took seriously,” Adam explains.

“I get you, bro.” Kevin says, but still, he’s looking at him curiously, a thought clearly on his mind. “Does Kim know?”

Adam raises an eyebrow at him. “Uh, I don’t think so? We don’t really talk about that stuff.”

“Do you think you should?” Kevin asks pointedly. Adam frowns.

“It was years ago, why should I? There’s no point just randomly bringing exes up,” he dismisses.

“Bro.” Kevin gets in front of him now, redirecting his attention from the rings. “You’re picking out an engagement ring for her. She needs to know you’ve been engaged twice before you propose. Because it will not go well if you don’t, trust me. I know you don’t mean anything by it, but this can quickly become a big deal.” Kevin’s tone is loving, caring, but firm.

“Just think about it. You were engaged when you met. You propose after a year. She finds out you had another fiancée. I know you love her, I know you’re meant to be, but just think about it from how it could look from her perspective.”

Oh.

Kevin’s words are wise, and realisation, and understanding of what Kev’s getting at, dawns on Adam.

“Yeah. Yeah, good point. I’ll tell her tonight.” Adam immediately agrees. “Just need to make sure not to tip her off to why I was thinking about my exes,” he grins at him.

“That’s a difficult task. She’s a quick one, Burgess is.” Kev replies, grinning himself. “But I’m sure you’ll find a no doubt disgustingly cute way to distract her.”

As his best friend, Kevin has unfortunately heard way too much about the inner details of their lives, details that since Kim is basically like his sister he’d have rather not known. But Adam can only focus on feeling sorry for him for a second, as he’s distracted, his eye catching sight of a ring in another counter.

“Kev. Look. This one.” Adam points it out to him, knowing, feeling, deep in his heart, that he had found The Ring, the one perfect for Kim. And by the looks at Kevin’s expression, his awe and smile, Adam thinks his friend agrees with that.

“That’s perfect.” Kevin grins at him.

“So, movie or tv?” Kim asks him as she adjusts the temperature on the oven. It’s the evening, and they’re at home—at his place, technically speaking, but he’s here and she’s here, which makes it home.

Kim had beat him home as usual, had let herself into his apartment like she always does, like they always plan, like they do automatically now without so much of a thought as their lives become more and more entangled with each other. She had already showered and gotten out of her work clothes by the time he had gotten home himself.

Kim’s dressed casually, lazily, only in some of her leggings and one of his old shirts with her hair tied up in a bun that’s coming undone. It’s a simple look, a no thought look, a behind the scenes, after look, a look for when Kim just wants to relax, to not be officer Burgess or even really a person, just Kim. A look for when she’s just her, unwinding from the day—a look only he is privy to.

Intimacy isn’t just knowing what the other likes in bed, how to make them blush, or what their favourite colour is. It’s this. It’s how they are with you in down time, the simple and unguarded way they are around you, how you’re not really no longer another person but almost an extension of themselves, that they can be who they are with no doubts or anything needing to be held up or any illusions to be set. Just them.

Adam wouldn’t exactly class himself as a romantic, far from it. And before Kim, he had seldom noticed these thing, not taking much note of the significance of it. It wasn’t important before, now it is. Maybe perhaps because Adam’s a cop now, he sees such things and it’s given him an appreciation for these sorts of things. Maybe because Kim was shot, Kim was kept captive and beaten, and being with her as she healed gave him a whole new look on what intimacy and love truly meant. And maybe it’s because Kim is his one, his reason for being, the beat of his heart.

Kim is an over thinker, in the most adorable of ways, and Adam thinks that if she was in his mind right now, her thoughts would be churning, trying to pinpoint the exact moment he started to appreciate things like this, because that’s who she is. Adam, he’s an over thinker in his own, different kind of way, but not this, this, Adam spares no real thought on it.

He doesn’t care about the whys, just what is, and he’s just grateful that whatever the reason is that these are things he notes now because getting to embed this memory into his mind, embed how his heart flutters at the thought of their causal intimacy with one another forever into his memories, is something he’s so, so appreciative of.

“Adam?” Kim calls to him, bringing him out of his mind, and to where she stands, still in the kitchen, waiting expectantly. “Movie or tv? And don’t think you’re going to be able to pull the tired card, you know the rules. One of us picks movie or tv, the other picks what it’ll be. Not one of us deciding both.”

This is how their evenings go now. When Adam was in his early twenties, the thought of having such a routine, of staying in most nights, of this normality, would be a suffocating one, but now the thought of spending his days like how he did is the suffocating one. That the thought of spending the rest of his days like this, with Kim, eating their dinner together and just cuddling, is one that fills him with content and his mind how back to the purchase made earlier, of the ring they picked for her, of how he imagines it’ll look on her finger.

“I’m not trying anything,” Adam replies, smiling at her. Anyone else, perhaps, that would make them let it go, but Kim narrows her eyes at him, questioningly, as if trying to suss him out.

“But darlin’, today, I was thinking,” he begins, his heart beating quickly as he hopes this will come across as casual as it’s meant to be. Hoping that she won’t realise there’s a deeper reason behind his sudden curiosity, of him bringing this up.

“That’s dangerous,” Kim has a glint in her eye. And Adam, despite himself, despite how she’s teasing him, smiles at that because goddamn, he loves this woman.

“Ha ha,” he replies dryly, before adjusting himself as he prepares to say his next sentence. He’s sitting on the sofa, but facing backwards, leaning his arms of the top of it so he can look at her as he speaks.

“I was thinking, with how we got together and all, you know we didn’t exactly go through the typical new relationship stuff. Like the ex talk and whatnot,” Adam hopes, prays, that his tone remains stable, casual, that he hasn’t activated that excellent cop instinct of hers and that she’ll sense there’s something deeper driving this conversation.

He wants to halt, to stop this, to not go near any topics that will tip her off to him having brought a ring, but Kev’s words echo in his mind and he knows he has to. Has to, if he wants to make sure that when he puts that ring on her finger, it stays on. Kevin is her best friend, the man Adam went to for help with the ring because no one else knows her this well, and so Adam takes what he says, his advice, very seriously.

“Hm. I guess we haven’t.” Kim says. There’s a slight guardedness to her tone and Adam wonders if there’s perhaps a deeper reason behind them not having this conversation before, besides them beginning the relationship in the way they did.

There’s a part of him that’s curious, that needs to know everything about this incredible woman, but there’s also a part that hurts, aches, at the thought of what possible bad experiences she could’ve had with exes, that has made her tense slightly in such a way. A part of him that wants to just reassure her that his bringing this up is not to dig into her past, but for him to share his, so that they can build a future.

“Well, you know about Wendy, obviously.” Adam cringes at having to mention his most recent ex, at the memory that he was in a relationship when he first got into her. Wendy is seldom mentioned, a part both of them would prefer to forget about, him particularly, with his assholeish behaviour—not his finest moments, that’s for sure. But he has to, has to start the conversation so casually like this is just what he thought while at work.

“Hm. Yeah.” Kim is just mindlessly reorganising things in the kitchen now, a tale-tail sign that she does not appreciate the reminder. Adam focuses on keeping himself calm, casual, so that he doesn’t accidentally start an argument.

“What about you? Did you date when in the academy?” Adam asks.

“I was busy. I’m a woman and all, I had to be the best.” Kim replies and he almost flinches at the edged tone to her words. Adam wonders if it’s still because him bringing up Wendy, or something else, and everything in him screams abort mission but he needs to, needs to, tell her about Nicole.

“What about when you were a flight attendant? Did you date much?” Trying to keep his tone light and not too curious, too pressing is proving hard, especially when this has nothing to do with her, and everything to do with him.

“A little.” She’s reorganising the cabinets now. Her tone is guarded, cool, and Adam’s split between whether to continue from where he is or if he should go hug her. Not wanting to make her think that he’s wondering about her clipped responses—knowing Kim, that’s even more dangerous territory—Adam decides to stay put, no matter how much his arms ache to have her in them.

“What about high school? At work, seeing all these teenagers insist their adults just remind me of my own teenage antics,” Adam offers up his own past a little, putting the attention back on him. There’s a lot of ‘teenage antics’ in his history, not much of which he’d particularly like to get into, but if Kim asks, he will. Because she’s clearly uncomfortable, and he’s doing that, and so he’ll be uncomfortable instead. He’ll do anything for her.

“I bet, canaryville,” Kim turns to look at him, smiling, her tone light for the first time in this whole conversation. Adam seizes the opportunity.

“God, the things I got up to. I wanted to be a cop, even back then, although I didn’t think it was in the cards. But you wouldn’t think it. I was canaryville through and through.” He reminisces. “The Beverly in me came out in my twenties, although canaryville, I’ll always be a canaryville boy. Got me the job, so there’s that. There was a time though that I really could’ve became very canaryville.” This is all stuff he’s touched on before with Kim, but she’s listening, intently, to him, because she always regards as whatever he says as important, just another reason he so desperately wants her to be his wife.

“I was even engaged at one point. Not Wendy, to this girl when I was twenty. You know, real puppy dog love. But marrying young isn’t uncommon in canaryville and well, I was young.” Adam casually drops. Kim was leaning against the counter, just listening, but at that, she pushes herself to stand up straight, staring at him.

“You were engaged? Before you were engaged?” She stares at him, shocked.

“Yeah, for like three months. Got engaged in the summer, we’d called it off by Halloween. We were young, thought we were in love, her mom was pushing her to move to Canada with her and wasn’t taking our relationship ‘seriously’ so we thought hey. I proposed with a 40 dollar ring,” He keeps his tone casual, even still, making sure to avoid details like they had only dated a year. Kim needs to know this, but she’s an over thinker, and if he tells her that and then proposes after they’ve been together only a year themselves, she’ll go into overdrive. That is not what he wants.

“I can’t believe you’ve been engaged not once, but twice,” Kim, thankfully, sees the humour in all this, all her defences dropping again. Adam feels a weight lifted off his shoulders that this went well, that she’s not mad at him.

“Third time’s the charm, hey?” Kim then says, grinning at him. Only for a second, before what she said registers and the grin has gone, replaced with a deep blush and wide eyes. “I mean, I didn’t mean, like us, not that I, uh—” Kim stumbles over her words, her adorably anxious mind in overdrive.

“Darlin’. Relax. I know what you meant,” Adam reassures her, standing up now to go to her. He kisses the top of her forehead, calming her thoughts, and smiling into her, allowing himself to feel happy that it appears that Kim’s at least briefly imagined them getting married, and that she seems open. His heart feels a little lighter, less nervous and more excited, and more confident in his decision to buy the ring.

“Now, is our food nearly done? Because we’ve got to choose; a movie or tv,” Adam diverts the conversation back, needing Kim to not focus on the thought of marriage too much, not when they’re a few weeks away from the surprise.

A surprise that Adam cannot wait for, which he notes as he watches Kim, smiling at her as she moves and talks to him, feeling more and more in love with her with every passing second.

#burzek #kim burgess x adam ruzek #burzek fic #Chicago pd #chicago pd fanfiction #ree writes #ree's.writing

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your--isgayrights · 3 years

Note

F, M, S :?

Hiiii stella i really liked your new fic just so you know okay hello :))

Gonna put my answers to these under the cut because they’re really long ^_^; thank you for sending me an ask for this but also dont feel obligated to read my long winded answers aslkfjfdsf

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Hmmmm this question is kind of hard because even though I really see myself as someone who likes writing dialogue more than prose, lately most talking I write is like heavily interlaced with like these character actions that are supposed to be indicative of tone, you know? Also I have a lot of dialogue I like that isn’t technically attached to anything yet... uh...

Okay, I like these lines from A Dream in Which Yoo Jonghyuk Plays Mario Kart:

"Kim Dokja." Yoo Jonghyuk says.

"... You're gonna tell me to shut up, right?" Kim Dokja tries to guess from the vast experience he has of this man. "To not worry so much about useless things? To just be here in the moment..."

He trails off on the word moment. His eyes are suddenly far away, clouded with the memory of a destroyed Seoul skyline.

The hand on his shoulder tightens. Just enough to bring him back.

"Eh?" Kim Dokja's eyes refocus, blinking up at a Yoo Jonghyuk who is looking at him in the eye instead of over his shoulder. "Well?" He asks a man whose broad back is now far too sore in the mornings to carry the weight of the world. "Am I right?"

Yoo Jonghyuk does not answer any of the questions that Kim Dokja has posed with a 'yes,' a 'no,' or even a 'shut up.'

He does, however, give his husband a peck on the lips that lasts for just a moment shorter than a dream and conveys the exact same message.

When he pulls away from this kiss, he meets his husband's eyes once more and says five magical words.

"Watch me win Rainbow Road."

Um the thing I’m most proud of here is that I made Yoo Jonghyuk being a gamer anything approaching “romantic.” The “Watch me win Rainbow Road” line is basically the main thing holding this ficlet together as an actual piece of writing akdjfslfjsf. But like I said, a lot of the emotion in the words comes from the deviance from expectation set up around the dialogue rather than the dialogue itself, so I’m not sure if it counts? Fun anyway!

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

Hmmm most of my premises I’ve been trying to adapt somehow into my current WIP, like I had this soosang idea that I thought about adapting as some sort of epilogue? It was like about HSY and YSA being childhood friends and the way that HSY wrote passages in her stories differently based on the way she viewed their relationship. But then like... hmm.

I guess Actual premises would include stuff like “AU where Kim Dokja is there when Yoo Jonghyuk regresses,” which I’m always daydreaming about just a little bit because 1. I kind of want to write YJH perspective on KDJ in the early rounds because I think its hilarious how he probably thinks very highly of him actually and thats SO diffferent from how KDJ views how things are happening, and then 2. VERY funny to have KDJ make the choices he makes confidently in timelines where he doesn’t realize YJH knows about him, or like 3. how KDJ would adapt to YJH knowing about him and whether he has back up plans for that.

My only hang up on that premise is that I’m not going to write it because A. It would take WAY too long for me to flesh out that premise in a way that I was happy with because I’m terrible like that and even slice of life relationship stories have to have like 40k long chapters for me to be happy with development. And then B. It’s definitely a premise that’s been used before, and even though I’m usually cool with doing bland premises with my own spin on them, I think that a lot of people already have like... set opinions on what they think this type of au would look like and mine differs a bit and I don’t want to argue with people on the internet, haha.

Anyway since I’m never going to write it, I can tell you that I think that the climax of my AU would probably be all of the KDJs of every timeline some how reviving YJH at the same time across their parallel timelines. It would show the perspectives of KDJs who were briefly mentioned in YJH’s building angst train, even ones where he was an enemy and in fact killed YJH himself, and other ones where he was a deeply trusted comrade, and we would think that the KDJs are doing some part of the scenario until they all do the same thing at once and it’s revealed what the item they were trying to obtain did. It exchanges his own life for that of YJH’s.

YJH in whatever regression he’s in has this moment of being completely saved, where all of these lifetimes where he died peacefully of old age by his companion’s sides come rushing into him, but even though he realizes Kim Dokja is the one responsible, he has no memory of him making it to the end. So he resolves to spend that last lifetime vowing not to die and to save Kim Dokja no matter what when previously he had given into the regressor depression of only trying to save himself.

Also not about fanfic but uh here’s some songs that I daydream orv amvs to sometimes: A Death - An Unkindness, I’m Gonna Win - Rob Cantor, Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths, Squaring up - Sir Chloe.

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Ahhh you know I think I’ve said this before that I really like slow burn and long complicated relationships like childhood friends to enemies to friends and or lovers you know, but I’ve been thinking about it recently and realize that I actually do use a lot of fandom-ey tropes! Like it was pointed out to me that my big WIP is very much based on an AU used in other fandoms, and I realize that I really like writing troupes used in fandom in a way that puts my own twist on it, you know?

Like this is a bit embarassing, but I think the first fics I ever wrote were definitely from me seeing a specific kind of AU being overused in the fandom and wanting to write that AU from what I viewed as like... THE. RIGHT. WAY. to do it asdlkfjsfasfasf. Like the main emotion that actually gets me writing something down is spite alskfjf. Like sorry allos but I don’t understand why they would have kissed there so heres a 50k+ fic where they gaze longingly at each other for a much much longer time okay thanks.

#ask game #writing #orv #obstinaterixatrix #ask #long post #also sorry for reblogging that game from you and then like IMMEDIATELY getting distracted yesterday alksdjfsdfs

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dovechim · 5 years

Text

free delivery not included (m)

➾ 7.1k

➾ summary: the premise is simple, really. you’ve been wanting to have a baby ever since you and your husband got married three years ago. Dr Kim Namjoon is the top fertility specialist in town who boasts a 100% success rate. the thing is, your husband has given up on trying to have children, so you find yourself visiting Dr Kim Namjoon in secret, only to realise that his methods are slightly unorthodox.

➾ warnings: mentions of infidelity and cheating, use of medical equipment (speculum), unprotected sex, oral sex (f receiving), impregnation, creampies, unprofessional behaviour from a medical professional, dirty talk involving humiliation

➾ a/n: a long time ago i said i was doing a fic for every member with this breeding kink and i didn’t know what i was getting myself into... a long time later, here is namjoon’s part :”) huge thanks goes to @jimlingss for as usual hearing my ideas out and hyping me up to write. i’ve been struggling with trying to like my own writing again but having kina’s support really meant a lot. of course, having all of you patient enough to wait for me is a huge motivating factor as well. without further ado, enjoy :)

Nerves are fluttering in your stomach as you take a queue number from the receptionist and seat yourself in the waiting room. This is most definitely not where you’d ever expect yourself to end up. Casting a quick glance around the room, you surreptitiously turn your wedding ring around so that the diamond on it is hidden and less conspicuous. Everyone else in the waiting room is here with their spouse; you are the only one alone and its painfully obvious.

“______?” The voice comes out of nowhere and jolts you out of your self-conscious worrying.

You spring out of your seat and nod to the receptionist as she directs you to the door at the end of the hallway. Feeling multiple curious eyes on your back, you read the sign on the door before knocking.

Dr Kim Namjoon

Fertility Specialist

“Come in,” a pleasant, timbre voice answers and you slip inside, only to be greeted by a man in tortoiseshell glasses, his blonde hair pushed off his forehead. He motions for you to sit down with a welcoming smile, and his warm presence already puts you a little more at ease.

You smile nervously at him as you take your seat in front of him, adjusting your skirt and tugging it a tad lower to avoid any form of eye contact with the handsome doctor.

“So, _____, what can I do for you today?” Dr Kim smiles as he rests his forearms on the desk, leaning forward. When he smiles his dimples are so prominent that it takes your breath away a little.

You can feel his attention focused on you, and for some reason this makes you even more nervous, so you drop your gaze down to your hands in your lap, absentmindedly playing with your wedding band in order to keep your nerves at bay. But then you remember that you’re also drawing attention to the fact that you’re married and here without your husband, so you immediately cover your left hand with your right. It’s too late though, with a tiny glance up, you catch Dr Kim’s gaze on your hands in your lap.

Clearing your throat, you pray that he doesn’t ask too many questions. “I-I’m here with concerns. A-about my fertility. I want to have a baby.”

Dr Kim chuckles pleasantly. “Well then, we’ll see what we can do about that. Just some questions for me to get a better sense of where you are in your journey to have a baby. How long have you been trying to get pregnant?”

He whips out a yellow legal pad and a pen to begin taking down notes, and without his piercing caramel eyes on you, you relax slightly; your heartrate slows down and the room in general feels less stuffy.

“I’ve been trying for three years,” you say in a near whisper, automatically wincing for the onflood of sympathy that you’ve come to expect whenever you tell someone about this.

But Dr Kim only nods once as he notes it down. “I see. And have you gone for any medical checkups in the past year? Anything of interest regarding your medical history I should know about?”

“No, I’m all clear,” you are now watching his fountain pen glide across the pages of his notepad with grace and ease, and before you can stop yourself, your eyes travel to the slim grip of his fingers.

“What about your… partner? That is, I’m assuming you have one,” Dr Kim looks up briefly to give you a smile.

“He’s also gone for tests and checkups,” you lace your fingers tightly together, thinking about your loving husband. “But the doctor said there’s no problem with either of us. I just… I don’t know why it’s taking so long. We’re both so desperate… I’mso desperate to have a baby.”

Your voice cracks slightly as emotion wells up in you, and you take a deep breath to center yourself again. “Dr Kim, I heard that you’re the top notch fertility specialist in town. My husband has lost all faith in us ever having a baby so he’s given up hope… he doesn’t know I’m here today. Please, can you help us?”

Dr Kim finishes his notes with a flourish, then he puts down his pen and looks up with a reassuring smile. “First of all, ____, I deeply sympathise with your struggles over the past three years. I know how incredibly emotional and difficult it can be to face such issues, and especially over such a long period of time. You are a very strong and determined woman to come here alone today without your husband. It shows that you don’t give up hope for something that you truly want, and for that I really admire you.”

His words take the tension out of your shoulders and sets you more at ease. You’d read articles about this man online, seen pictures of him even, but in real life he looks even more suave and breathtaking. Every single action and word of his is fuelled by a quiet confidence, a professionalism that is warm and reassuring.

“Over here, we have a 100% success rate with all of our procedures,” Dr Kim goes on. “We are proud to be the first fertility clinic that carries our own supply of sperm curated from our sperm bank.”

“Th-that’s amazing, Dr Kim” you nod as he hands you a brochure, but your eyes are fixed on his handsome smile.

“Please, call me Namjoon. I hope you can be more at ease with me. I want all my patients to think of me as a close friend,” Namjoon pushes his glasses up. “I can definitely help you with having a baby… but first I’d like to ask you what approach you prefer to take.”

You hesitate as you turn over the brochure in your hands. “Approach? What do you mean by that?”

“Well, I have several suggestions to help you conceive,” Namjoon says as he points to a list of options on the back of the brochure. “Firstly, IVF. In Vitro Fertilisation, a popular but very costly procedure that can take up to one year to show results. Seeing as you mention your husband not wanting to try any more medical approaches… I think it would be difficult for you to convince him to commit to this.”

“No, you’re right,” you sigh as you read over the estimated cost stated on the brochure. “Not only that, we just don’t have the means to afford that kind of procedure right now.”

Namjoon nods in understanding, and he directs your attention to the next option on the page. “No worries, let’s move on. The second option we have here is sperm donation, the most popular option for most of my patients. This treatment requires a healthy egg, which you definitely fit the requirement of. Like I mentioned before, we have our very own sperm bank here in the clinic, and once you make your decision, after a brief checkup, you can choose to have your first donation as soon as today. That is, if you’re deemed to be ovulating and fertile, of course.”

Your heart skips a beat. “Today? But that’s so soon! I mean, I’d love to see results as soon as possible, but my husband…”

“Ah, yes, he doesn’t know that you’re here, does he?” He shakes his head slightly in apology. “Forgive me if I’m stepping over the line here, but from a medical professional’s perspective, seeing as you and him have been trying to conceive for three years, it might be that your egg and his sperm simply aren’t compatible. If the both of you have gone for fertility checkups, and nothing abnormal has shown up…”

Namjoon’s voice trails off, and he looks at you to gauge your reaction.

“Actually…” your voice is hesitant as you meet his gaze. “I’ve come to that same conclusion myself. And before I came here today, I told myself to be open to the idea of getting sperm from another man. It’s just that… I don’t know how he would take it. Obviously he might not be very open to the idea, so that’s why I came here today without telling him.”

“I see.” Namjoon’s face is completely expressionless except for the muscle that jumps in his clenched cheek as he leans back in his chair. “Do I take it that you wish to receive a sperm donation today? Without your husband knowing?”

His question lingers in the air for a few moments. Your husband can’t possibly blame you for doing this. You’ve been trying for three years with no luck. Maybe it just wasn’t fated for you to have a baby with him. Why should you be deprived of the experience of motherhood just because of fate?

“He really, really wants a baby too,” you say, fully aware that you’re not answering his question. “If this goes on much longer, if I don’t get pregnant soon… he might end up leaving me for some beautiful, young and fertile twenty something.”

“I highly doubt that,” Namjoon shakes his head and holds up his hands. “Excuse me for being inappropriate, but any man who would leave someone like you is an idiot. You’re far too gorgeous for that to happen. And from what I can tell, you’re a strong and determined woman who knows what she wants too. It would only be a loss on his part, believe me.”

His smooth words and charming smile only make the butterflies in your stomach worse. “Dr- Namjoon… you’re used to complimenting women, aren’t you? Is that how you became the top fertility specialist here?”

He lets out a loud chuckle. “My patients feel right at home with me, and what can I say? I know women… intimately. Women like you deserve to be told how beautiful they are, and you deserve to be treated right too.”

Namjoon’s double entendre makes your heart pound in your chest. “You know… you really remind me of my husband. He could sweet talk his way into anyone’s life. That’s pretty much how I fell in love with him… and that’s why I’m worried. A charming and sweet man like you must definitely have a lot of women fawning over him.”

For the first time since the appointment began, you see Namjoon blush a little as he glances away for a moment. It seems like he is not used to being on the opposite side of receiving compliments, but the shy side of him is absolutely adorable. Namjoon pushes his glasses up on his nose a little, and he scratches his neck.

“That’s a wonderful compliment, thank you,” he manages to smile professionally, but only just. “I’m sure your husband knows how lucky he is to have such a wonderful wife like you. But if you’re really worried about that… let me help you. Personally, I want to make sure you have a nice and healthy baby, one that looks just as beautiful and is as kind as you.”

Elation lights up your face as you reach forward to grasp his hands involuntarily. “Thank you so much, Dr Kim!”

Namjoon holds both of your hands in his as he stands, motioning you over to the chair in the corner. “I’ll just do a quick checkup to determine where you are in your cycle right now, and then we can discuss options for the sperm donation. There’s a gown on the back of the chair, if you could just slip off your bottoms and put that on? I’ll give you some privacy.”

Namjoon draws the curtain and leaves you alone to change. Once the curtains are drawn, you slip off your pencil skirt and underwear, putting on the gown that comes down to your knee. When you’re done, you call out to Namjoon again, and he parts the curtain.

“Just hop up there for me will you?” Namjoon holds out his hand toward the chair.

You feel his hand on your waist helping you into the slightly high chair, and he directs your legs into the stirrups that go on either side. Namjoon’s warm hands secure your legs in a comfortable position as he checks in with you frequently. Your legs are now spread wide, and you are aware that your gown has ridden up all the way to your upper thigh.

“When was your last period?” Namjoon is washing his hands over at the sink and pulling on some gloves. He grabs a large container of what you assume must be some kind of lubrication before he pushes a wheeled chair over.

“Um, about… two weeks ago?” You hazard a guess, confirming after you check your period tracking app on your phone. “Exactly two weeks ago.”

“Oh, that’s nice,” Namjoon raises his eyebrows in surprise. “That means you could be ovulating right now. I’ll know when I examine your cervix and your discharge, but let me just take a quick blood sample and send that off to the nurses just to be sure.”

He comes over to your side and takes your wrist gently, cleaning your skin with an alcohol wipe before drawing a vial of blood from your arm in the blink of an eye. It doesn’t even hurt, considering the fact that you are deathly afraid of needles, because all through it Namjoon keeps your attention on him with his gentle and soothing voice, and that charming smile of his.

“Let me get that sent off…” Namjoon is frowning in concentration as he scribbles something onto a label and sticks it onto your blood sample before he parts the curtains. A second later he is back again, and he positions himself in between your legs, a gentle touch on your calf. “Results should take about 20 minutes. Meanwhile, let’s see what’s going on here, shall we?”

“That fast?” You comment in surprise. From this angle all you can focus on is how the handsome doctor looks in between your legs, and his warm touch on your skin. “Wow. Technology sure is advanced these days.”

“Sure is,” Namjoon laughs in agreement. “Now just relax for me… I’m going to part your lips now and take a look.”

You can feel Namjoon spreading your lips with two fingers as he peers closely at you, and a heated blush is on your cheeks. You feel extremely exposed in front of this handsome doctor, even more so as his fingers brush across your slit, and you realise that he doesn’t even need any lube at this point. You’re about to hastily come up with some explanation as to why you’re this wet all on your own, but Namjoon saves you the trouble.

“Very nice, there’s some clear discharge indicative of ovulation,” Namjoon smiles as he gently collects some of it on his gloved fingers, showing it to you. “See how it’s so stringy? When I pull my fingers apart it doesn’t break easily. Kind of looks like egg whites.”

You feel his fingers part your lips again and this time, they are probing at your entrance.

“I’m going to slide two fingers in this time, it’s going to go deep so that I can feel your cervix. Tell me if you feel any discomfort, alright?” Namjoon smiles at you before his head disappears between your legs again, and two of his long, slim fingers enter you.

His fingers might have looked slim just now when you were eyeing them, but when they’re deep inside you, you feel a stretch that isn’t uncomfortable, but definitely something to get used to. Your instinct is to clench your walls around his fingers; at this point you just want him to stroke that special spot inside you. You can feel that you are drenching his fingers with your arousal, so there’s no pretending that you aren’t turned on. It must be because of your ovulation that you’re this horny just from getting an examination.

“Relax, you’re clenching really tight around me,” Namjoon’s voice comes off as a relaxed laugh, and you immediately make an effort to relax. “Has it been some time since you had intercourse? You feel really tense.”

“Um, no it hasn’t,” you say truthfully. “My- my husband and I had sex just this week. A few days ago.”

“Hmm,” Namjoon hums under his breath as he withdraws his fingers a tad. “Then you must be naturally tense. I need to examine your cervix, so I’m going to use a speculum. It might feel a little cold and the stretch might hurt a little, but bear with me.”

Namjoon pulls his fingers out, and your breath comes out all at once at the loss. He turns around and ducks out to grab the needed equipment, returning a moment later with a metal contraption. You’ve had speculums inserted before at previous checkups, so it’s no big deal.

He pours some lubrication onto the part that will be inserted in you, and you try your best to relax for him. With one hand on your inner thigh holding you steady, Namjoon slides the speculum into you, and goes deeper until it nudges at your cervix. Then, he starts to turn the screw on the side so that it begins to spread your walls open slowly, until he gets a clear view of your cervix.

Being spread apart like this and allowing someone else that isn’t your husband to see the most intimate parts of you only adds to the overwhelming rush of arousal that you feel right now. On one hand you feel incredibly immature, having a crush on your fertility doctor and wishing he would just help you with your problem personally, but the more primal part of you argues that it’s perfectly reasonable. This man right here is tall, fit and good looking, he’s smart on top of all that. Why shouldn’t he be the one to give you a baby?

“All looks great here, you are most definitely ovulating, _____,” Namjoon’s voice brings you back to the present. “Cervix is soft and open, so a donation today will greatly increase your chances of success. But we can discuss that more in detail when you’re more comfortable.”

“What do you mean? I’m perfectly comfortable with a thick metal rod in me,” your joke makes him laugh as he places a hand on your inner thigh, closing the speculum and removing it from you.

With some tissue he cleans you up, wiping away some of the lube and your arousal that had smeared on your inner thigh. His gesture feels so intimate and personal that you can’t help but feel the intense desire to feel his fingers without the rubber gloves, or to feel something else of his inside you.

Namjoon glances up as he disposes of the tissue. “I’ll give you a moment, I’ll just be outside and we can discuss the sperm donor that you want.”

He slips out of the curtains, and you pull down the gown, fanning your hot cheeks as you wipe the beads of sweat from your face. Getting down from the chair carefully, you push aside the curtains, leaving your skirt off as you sit in the same chair.

Namjoon is looking through a document. “Good news, the blood test results are in. You are, in fact at the peak of ovulation now. You came at just the right time, ____.”

“Can I really get a donation right now?” You ask as Namjoon turns to type something into his computer, having shed his rubber gloves.

“Of course! In fact, as your doctor I would highly recommend you do it today. If not, you would have to wait until next month,” Namjoon says. After a moment’s consideration, he adds on, “and since you told me you and your husband just had sex recently, it would be reasonable to convince him that it is his child you’re carrying.”

There is a weighted pause as the consequences of what you’re about to do sinks in. You’re at a fertility clinic, ovulating and about to receive a sperm donation from a complete stranger. Then you’re going to go home and in a few weeks, tell your husband that you’re pregnant with his baby.

You take a deep breath. “Alright. I’ll do it today. What are the options for sperm donors?”

“Here at our clinic, we use fresh sperm samples, we never freeze them. This is to allow for maximum success rate for our patients. I can open up the database of donors that we currently have fresh samples from, and you can take a look and choose from there,” Namjoon says as he types at his keyboard, scrolling through and clicking a few times. There is a slight frown on his face as he opens a few files.

“Is something wrong, Namjoon?”

“No, no, it’s just…” Namjoon pauses to type a few more things and hits enter with a look of frustration on his face. “It’s very strange. Somehow, our database only has one donor right now. I’m not sure if this is an error, because we ensure that we have at least 20 donors at any one time…”

“Who’s the one sperm donor?” You ask out of curiosity.

“It’s a Jeon Jungkook, 50 years old with a Bachelor’s Degree at… Hogwarts Witchcraft and Wizardry…” Namjoon looks at your troubled expression and clears his throat, running a hand through his hair. “Yeah, I thought so too. Let me just make some calls and check if there are any other donors.”

The normally cool and composed fertility specialist looks a little frantic as he picks up his desk phone and starts to dial a number, but then you put your hands over his.

“Namjoon, it’s okay. I decided which donor I want,” you give him a confident smile as he looks up in surprise, slowly putting down the phone.

“What? You want… a 50 year old man?” Namjoon shakes his head in confusion. “Who graduated from Hogwarts?”

“No. I want you to be my sperm donor, Dr Kim.”

A shocked silence settles in between the two of you for a moment as Namjoon’s eyes widen. “B-but that would mean… your husband. You don’t want him to know right?”

“That’s right. I want my husband to think the baby is his. But in reality, it would be your baby,” you withdraw your hands from Namjoon’s and sit back in your chair. “To be honest, Doctor, I’ve been attracted to you the moment I walked in. I want my baby to be as smart as you. I hope you can give me a baby boy that will look exactly like you.”

Before the doctor can say anything else, you go on.

“You said you only use fresh samples here at the clinic right? Without any freezing,” you recall his words from earlier. “It’s just… today is the perfect day for me to get a sperm sample,” you direct your gaze at his lips with a small sigh as you say this, completely committed to your role now. “I don’t see why we should let this opportunity go to waste. You can give me a fresh sperm sample right here and right now.”

“_____, I- I don’t know what to say… your husband…” Namjoon fumbles over his words; he has trouble looking you in the eye. “A-are you saying you want me to inseminate you? Is that really what you want? Tell me.”

You stand up from your seat and make your way around the table so that you are standing beside his chair. “Yes, Doctor. I want you to give me the baby my husband couldn’t. I want to have yourbaby.”

You slide your body into his lap, feeling the crisp material of his dress pants on your thighs as Namjoon’s arms circle your waist to help you sit on him properly. His thighs feel firm under you, and his mouth is now dangerously close to your neck. You can feel his body is tense under yours, a sharp intake of breath at your words.

“Is that so? What an unfaithful wife you are.” Namjoon admonishes you, and his breath ghosts over your skin. “Asking another man to give her a baby. Tell me, has anyone other than your husband fucked you before?”

“No, not even once,” your breath is speeding up now as Namjoon caresses your waist tenderly, bidding you to spread your thighs slightly to get more comfortable on his lap. “I love my husband. I really do. But I just want a baby so bad. I’d do anything.”

“Who am I to deny such a beautiful woman the experience of motherhood?” Namjoon hums under his breath, kissing the skin just behind your ear. “If a gorgeous woman such as you says she wants a baby, then it’s my duty not only as a doctor to obey… but as a man too.”

“Please…” you can feel your thighs getting slick with your arousal, and Namjoon helps you onto your feet.

“We have to do this the proper way, to ensure maximum success rate,” Namjoon directs you to the chair again, and draws the curtains firmly shut. “Thankfully, you’re my last patient today, so we can take as long as we like. By the time you walk out of this clinic, you’ll definitely be pregnant.”

You lie back in the chair with his help, not missing the way his hands are soft and gentle, making sure your head is supported against the headrest, and your legs are comfortably spread in each stirrup. From your vantage point, you can see Namjoon begin to take off his white doctor’s coat and reveal his white dress shirt and black pants underneath, but you stop him.

“Doctor, please keep it on,” you say, reaching out to grab his wrist. “I always had a thing for the whole hospital fantasy.”

Namjoon relents, turning around as he palms the growing bulge in his dress pants. “Does your husband know about this… fantasy?”

“No,” you answer truthfully as your eyes drop to take in the tent at the front of his pants. “No, he doesn’t know. Doctor, why don’t you make yourself more comfortable? It looks like you haven’t been able to… let go of some tension for a while.”

“What would your husband say if he saw you now? On your back with your legs spread… about to get a baby fucked into you by her fertility specialist,” Namjoon tsks under his breath as he situates himself between your legs, stroking your thighs softly. “What a pretty pussy too. Just begging to be eaten.”

“He- he would never find out,” you gasp and your back comes off the chair as Namjoon’s head disappears in between your legs, and you feel his tongue against your inner thigh. His fingers spread your lips again the way he did before, and then he is giving you open mouthed kisses directly against your clit, making your thighs shake and tremble.

You can’t see anything with the gown in the way, so with one hand you push it up to your waist. Namjoon’s blonde hair in between your thighs greets you, but the man himself is busy stroking his tongue against your clit, your juices all over his chin.

“So fucking sweet. I must say, I’ve never had the privilege to taste any of my patients before, but I bet you’re the sweetest of them all,” Namjoon places his thumb on your clit in slow circles, making eye contact with you before his tongue slides into your pussy.

Watching your fertility doctor eat you out like this must be a dream, you feel as if you’re in heaven especially when Namjoon switches to suckling your clit, and pushes two fingers deep in you. His fingers are long and nimble, hitting your sweet spot exactly right, and the delicious friction from his mouth just about sends you over the edge.

But just before you feel the knot in your lower belly snap, Namjoon pulls away with a satisfied smile, licking his lips and wiping the back of his chin with his hand.

“No cumming yet. You’ll conceive better if you orgasm with my cum right up against your cervix.” Namjoon knows exactly what a tease he’s being as he begins to unbuckle his belt, lowering his zipper and feeling the immense pressure against his cock subside just a little.

The sight of his cock awakens your desperation all over again. He is blessed both in length and girth; you surmise that the fertility specialist must be just as excited to give you a baby as you are, seeing as his cock is already fully hard. You feel a flutter of nerves as Namjoon strokes his cock and positions himself in between your legs. Trying to remember how big your husband’s cock is so that you can compare it to Namjoon’s is futile. All you can concentrate on is Namjoon as he fondles your clit, pushing three fingers inside you to prepare you.

“Please, doctor,” you push your hips toward him as a protest. Your eyes lower to his cock, already red and leaking, wishing you could wrap your hand around him and feel how warm and heavy he is. “It’s been so… hardfor me to have a baby. Please help me and my husband.”

“Don’t worry, just lie back and let me do all the work,” Namjoon pushes his underwear down, giving himself a few strokes and hissing in pleasure. His cock is engorged and angry, precum already dripping from the tip onto your inner thigh.

You can feel the head of his cock nudge against your lower lips, and your stomach tenses in excitement of finally feeling him inside you. “You feel so much bigger than my husband… fuck. A cock like that is sure to give me a baby… not like my pathetic husband.”

Namjoon places his hands on your thighs, hooking them around his waist as he begins to push the tip of his cock into you. The expression on his face is strained, his jaw is clenched at your words. The lubrication of your arousal and his precum allows him to slide in easily, but the stretch makes you wince and Namjoon swears under his breath.

“Fuck, such a tight pussy. I suspected so when I examined you just now, but it seems like even the speculum couldn’t loosen you up enough hmm?” Namjoon pauses for a moment to give you time to adjust, even though he’s barely even an inch deep. “Looks like your useless husband hasn’t been fucking you properly, or else you wouldn’t still be this tight.”

“Please fuck me properly then,” you hook your ankles around his back in an attempt to get his cock even deeper. “Show me how much better you are compared to my husband. When he fucked me I could barely even feel it.”

“Oh, you’ll feel this one alright,” Namjoon agrees with a laugh and a deep thrust of his hips that sends his cock halfway into your depths. Your walls are stretched to accommodate him, but you only urge him on, anxious to feel him all the way. Namjoon accedes to your whines and withdraws just a tad, then fucks you deep until he is buried balls deep in your pussy.

Namjoon leans over the chair to smooth a strand of hair out of your face as he presses a hand to your abdomen. “See this? I can feel my cock all the way here. Could your pathetic little husband do this?”

The veneer of professionalism is gone now as the filthy words begin to pour from his mouth. His hand is on your lower belly, where there is a slight bump from his cock being so deep inside you, and you gasp when he brings your hand down to feel it too. Never have you been penetrated so deep before, and yet the thickness of his cock leaves you almost breathless as Namjoon applies a light pressure on your lower belly.

“This is where I’ll be when I cum,” Namjoon strokes the soft skin of your belly. “Right up against your womb. Giving you a nice load of fresh sperm. Unlike your husband, I am perfectly healthy to fuck a baby into you. No pathetic weak shots of cum. No, my loads are so thick, you’ll feel every spurt against your soft, ripe little cervix.”

“Fuck me please,” you are begging, the torture of just feeling his thick length embedded inside you without even moving is getting to be too much. You attempt to push your hips against him just to feel some friction, but Namjoon’s strength pins you down to the chair. “Give me a baby.”

Namjoon pulls out and sinks back in so fast that your thighs twitch around him, hugging him closer and begging for him to go deeper and harder. Slaps of skin against skin begin to echo around the room, and soon you can feel how wet you are, dripping down your ass and completely soaking Namjoon’s heavy balls that are slapping against you.

“Yeah? You want a baby?” Namjoon’s thrusts are heavy, punishing, as if you deserve it for being such and unfaithful wife who would ask another man to give her a baby. “Whose baby do you want? Your husband’s?”

His cock seems to be splitting you apart. Your pussy is crying for relief, yet you want more of his brutal fucking. Every thrust brings his cock head right to the entrance of your womb, tapping your cervix gently as he reminds you where his cum will end up. When you don’t answer, Namjoon stops thrusting as a punishment.

“Tell me, whose baby do you want?” Namjoon asks again, rubbing his thumb against your clit and making you cry out. “You want your husband to give you a baby?”

“No!” You scream, body thrashing under him, and legs tightening around his slim waist. “I want yours. I want your baby, Doctor Kim.”

Satisfied with your answer, Namjoon resumes thrusting, abandoning his grip around your thighs as he circles your slim waist with his hands to pull you onto his cock. “This flat belly is going to be so round. Even after you’re pregnant, you’re going to keep coming back here aren’t you? Because you can’t resist a good fuck, and no one other than me can give you that.”

“Please, pl-ease,” you voice is barely there, your throat is dry. “Please keep fucking me. Even after you give me a baby.”

Namjoon chuckles as his cock sinks in deep, and he feels your walls flutter around him. “I’ll consider it after sales service for my best patient.”

You can feel your orgasm right there, just out of reach. Your clit is swollen and abused, throbbing just for a little friction that would send you over the edge. Fucked out and completely at his mercy, Namjoon places your legs back on the stirrups, spread wide as they can go as he continues with his punishing thrusts.

“Consider yourself lucky, _____” Namjoon’s thrusts are faltering as he swears under his breath. “I haven’t jerked off in nearly two weeks. You’re getting a huge load today. I hope you’re ready to get pregnant.”

You watch his sweaty face as he pushes his hair off his forehead, glasses slightly askew. His cheeks are rosy with exertion, and you want nothing more than to kiss his plush lips. “I’ve been ready for the past three years, Doctor. I want it. Give me all your cum and give me the baby I always wanted.”

Namjoon seems to want to say something else, but decides against it as he devotes the rest of his energy into his thrusts, pumping his cock in and out of you as you feel him start to twitch against your walls. The composure on his face is slowly slipping away as he pants hard against your skin, leaning over to support himself on the arm rests on either side of you as he fucks you good and deep.

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum, I can’t hold off much longer,” Namjoon is panting hard as he groans with exertion and pleasure. “Here it comes. Ahhhh, fuuuuck. Take it all. Take all my fucking cum!”

You gasp as he buries his cock to the hilt, feeling him hit your cervix hard one last time as he explodes. Rope after rope of warm cum drenches your womb, and you can feel his cock pulsing as he gives you every drop of his seed. After the first ten or so strong pulses of semen, it starts to slow down a little, and Namjoon thrusts in and out gently, making sure the last few spurts of cum still get as deep as possible.

It feels so wet and warm that you can’t help but relax as your pussy tightens around him to drain him dry. You can’t tell if Namjoon filled you up so much that you’re already leaking his cum, or if it’s just your arousal. Namjoon is still lazily thrusting away in your pussy, and his slower, gentler pace feels nice, but not quite what you need to reach your own orgasm.

After a minute or two, Namjoon slowly pulls out, making sure none of the cum escapes your pussy. He immediately reaches for a setting on the chair to tilt it backwards so that your hips are escalated slightly, and he secures your legs in the stirrups, making sure they’re still spread.

“We doing okay?” He comes over to stroke your hair and wipe away some of the smeared mascara on your cheek.

“I’m fine, doctor,” your eyes are closed and you are savouring the feeling of being warm and full of cum. Your pussy is still throbbing.

“Let me get you cleaned up,” Namjoon’s voice is soft as he moves away, fully aware that you haven’t cum yet.

To your surprise, a moment later you feel something metallic being inserted into your pussy again, and you open your eyes. Namjoon is back between your legs, and you realise that he’s putting the speculum back inside you and widening it so that he can see your cum drenched cervix once more.

“Just making sure you absorb all of that cum,” Namjoon reassures you with his ever gentle, reassuring hands on your skin. “Close your eyes and enjoy yourself, _____. Let me take care of everything.”

Namjoon positions himself so that he can see the flood of white cum coating your insides, and the pool of his semen just lying there. Your cervix is doing its best to soak it all up, but a little help wouldn’t hurt. Stroking your thighs gently, he places his thumb on your clit and rubs it in circles at the pace he knows you like, and sure enough, your body tenses up and your legs shake in the stirrups.

“You’re so close aren’t you?” Namjoon keeps his voice low, reaching for a medical sample jar that he had used to catch all the cum that spilled out when he inserted the speculum into your swollen pussy. He unwraps a sterile syringe to draw up the rest of the cum inside the jar. “Just need a few strokes to cum. Good girl. That’s my good girl… just relax and cum for me.”

His fingers speed up over your clit, and his eyes are drawn to the fascinating sight that is your cervix. With every tightening of your walls, your cervix is expanding and contracting, greedily swallowing down all of his cum so that the pool of semen inside you grows less and less. When you orgasm with a small whine of his name, toes curling and thighs shaking, Namjoon squirts the contents of the syringe into your womb, emptying it thoroughly as he drops a kiss on your knee.

As you calm down from your orgasm, Namjoon watches to make sure the pool of cum inside you is more or less swallowed down by your greedy cervix, before he unscrews the speculum and eases it out of you. He glances up at your face and your eyelids are droopy, chest rising up and down slowly as he helps you get your legs out of the stirrups and places them together on the chair.

“You did so well, that’s my good girl,” Namjoon comes around to kiss your forehead and stroke your cheek. “I think that’ll do it. Just rest here for a few minutes.”

“Come here baby,” you stretch out your hands for a hug, and Namjoon obliges. “How was that? Was my acting good enough?”

“Almost too real,” Namjoon admits with a laugh. “You really got me worked up there with that whole ‘my husband doesn’t know’ thing. When I said surprise me, I didn’t expect you to come up with such an elaborate scheme. I mean, you really went all the way with that roleplay!”

“So you were really shocked to see me walk in here?” You let go of him with a devious grin on your face. But then another though occurs to you. “Wait. 50 year old Mr Jeon Jungkook from Hogwarts? Did you make that up too?”

“Unfortunately I didn’t make that donor up. I think it’s a real error in our database. Probably some stupid young punk who wanted to make a quick buck and troll us at the same time…” Namjoon sighs as he shakes his head and adjusts his glasses, mumbling to himself about the calls he needs to make and the people he needs to sack. A second later, he frowns. “You’re lucky that you really are my last patient. And the whole ovulation thing- did you plan that too?”

“I thought you would have noticed since you got a notification about my ovulation on the app… but this morning you just left for work like normal,” you sit up in your chair and face him, watching his face dawn with realisation.

“Wait, that means… do you… really want to have a baby with me?” Namjoon takes your hand in his, barely able to conceal his excitement. “You’re finally ready?”

“We’ve been married for almost three years so if I don’t pop out like… ten babies for you, people are going to be doubting your capabilities,” you shrug nonchalantly, but there is a genuine smile on your face. “I’m doing it for the sake of your professional career, that’s all. And also, it’s nice to have a qualified specialist taking care of me for free.”

Namjoon is still shocked at your revelation, but he sees right through your wry comment. “I guess not everything in roleplay has to be just pretend. I’m Dr Kim Namjoon after all, and I always keep my promises.” He puts his arm around you and presses a kiss to the top of your head, one hand resting on your lower belly. “I might get you pregnant for free, but I charge for delivery.”

#bts #bts smut #btssmutclub #bangtanbookclub #bts namjoon #bts rm smut #bts namjoon smut #bts rm #bts fics

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ceo-of-choco-bibi · 3 years

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HCLW 107 SPOILERS

I've actually been so upset over the past few days because of the new chapters... nothing to worry about though it's not too serious.

I am making content, in terms of fics I got one more oneshot to add to my current chocotemp collection, a HnK au, and a new series of oneshots, more precisely about how I feel GRG would respond to the current event in the real world. In terms of art I have a few sketch graphs and one piece planned, but it might take a while to churn out.

(Check out my ao3 for my fics! https://archiveofourown.org/series/1811194)

For now I just really want to talk about them because they make me so sad and happy at the same time. Enjoy my rambling.

Giga 13th squad! They're all so cool, Giga's squad are really just Squad 1 Legendary characters team, the other fillers and Squad 13th. I immediately fall for any teleportation-related character, so Veganic is like (chef's kiss)! He is adorable I want to pick him up and put him in my fancy coat pocket.

MASTER SWORDSMAN ALWAYS GETS THE COOLEST PANELS! AS HE SHOULD! HE SLAYS ALL THE TIME UGH I

I hate the word goated but he really is he's the coolest and I hope he knows it! I feel embarrassed for talking to a fictional character but I wish he knows how much I love and cherish him

"There are times in life when you lose. If you're bound to lose, then just do the best you can! Then there will be a next time." I'm so devastated. How could you leave like this. How could you leave so happy when I'm dying over here.

"Give it to Choco Bibi and tell him it's my gift to congratulate him for becoming the second guild master of Grass Roots."

"How about we fight with our swords? It's been a while!"

"There should be a home for him to return to after he's done wandering. I'm going to start a new guild."

You don't understand. I don't have words for how painful this is. Just revel in the pain with me.

And here comes the backstory fluff (aka a sweetener to make the angst more bitter)

"How about we dance to draw attention?" "I think that'll make things worse." HELP ME

I CAN'T BELIEVE BIBI CANONICALLY HAS PRETTY BOY PRIVILEGE!!!! AS HE SHOULD???????

I'm actually never going to shut up about how Bibi never blushes in the presence of women. Like never. MSM and Drip Soup are always blushing when there's pretty women around but really Bibi has never shown attraction. When Pooh Upooh was naked? No. When Coco first entered the guild? No. Here, where a girl literally says she wants to go on a date with him? NO. This is actually my queer agenda, me and Sehun Kim had a talk and we agreed on making Bibi queer coded.

I would have never guessed that Drip Soup and Tempest were both affiliated with Giga for a short while? Guess I manifested my Giga!GRG but in a different way

I've never let go of the headcanon that Bibi is fucking terrible with feelings and is always angry, this just solidifies it more (really, every interaction Bibi has is just solidifying the theory that he's emotionally constipated)

I've also got the feeling that Bibi's super prideful in the sense that he would rather not express weakness (cry, express pain) in front of others (seen when he gets beaten by NM!Bibi the first time on) and that he channels everything into spite and anger instead. I kind of want to see this when he realises MSM is gone later on also. I want to see him get irrationally mad and blame someone (HCLW) before realising (or realising but still feeling lost and like he has to target someone) MSM wouldn't have wanted this. Armes wouldn't have wanted this. His friends are the only ones left.

It really comforts me to see that Master Swordsman is happy with his life right now. I'm kind of stuck between "oh he's happy because he's well off from the game, his work doesn't count" and "anything that you're happy with in life is worth it. You don't need an office job to be happy" though, but for real. I've never wanted a regular office job and I'd rather just do something simple and get by since nothing matters in the long run when I die. But at the same time, I feel like I can only say this because of how privileged I am to be me. It's hard being alive, sometimes. I'll pull through.

Tempest appearance! This time it solidifies my idea that Tempest finds his friends to be more important than himself, at least at this point of time. I expand a lot more in my new fic and I've written a bunch there already, so I'll save it for then (haha, shameless plug)

It's so bloody funny that they're all from the same school and that they're meeting up for a battle. What are you, YouTubers with beef?

TEMPEST BEING A GOODY TWO SHOES NERD? HIS HAIR IS KIND OF FLUFFY? (I die.) TEMPEST AND BIBI IRL INTERACTION? THEY KNOW EACH OTHER IRL BEFOREHAND? (I die again.) BIBI EATING POPCORN? (I die once more.)

Anyways Bibi with a sugar addiction I really do not need to elaborate on this.

They are such LOSERS who does irl fights I swear to god yall EMBARRASSING /lh

I MANIFESTED HEAVY ALCOHOL TOLERANCE BIBI YOU HAVE ME TO THANK FOR THIS!!!!!!! I REALLY DID!!!!!!!! (My linked headcanon was that Bibi's the group protector when they're out drinking. It's sort of true.)

I can't do this. This is a lot for my heart. To whoever looks at this, why? But also thank you for being here it means a lot to me.

MSM RICH

Bibi gets couch rights as he should! Also Bibi and Tempest airpod users while MSM and Soup earphone users?

Glasses and WFL came from nowhere but alright I still love them

The gifts thing. The gifts thing. I am so upset it's unbelievable.

The hat... the hat was given to Bibi by MSM... I want to see him have a breakdown now. I want to see him wear the hat forever on after this arc because it's something solid he has left. He's an art major irl, I want to see him recreate the hat or make art related to MSM.

"You might be grumpy on the outside, but I know you always think dear of me. I'm glad you don't know what I'm doing right now. If you did, you would've stopped me by any means."

It hurts so much.

"Life doesn't always go your way. And sometimes... you just want to run away from the life that turned out so differently. Some people say, the place you run off to is no paradise. They may be right, but those who ran away can still comfort each other there."

GRG IS LITERALLY FOUND FAMILY! THEY ARE LITERALLY-

I cannot do this anymore it's horrible my heart is shattering into a million pieces

"How did we end up like this? You went through enough to deserve a little happiness. Hardcore. Go back to your friends!"

He does deserve it. You deserve it. I hate this. Thank you. Sorry.

And Bibi still doesn't know. He'll be the last to know. "Did he go knowing I loved him? What were his last words? How do I go on? What do I do from now?"

I do want to see them reunite and remember. I do want to see them waddle in their hurt and pain, to heal together, to move on as a guild knowing this is what MSM would have wanted. It's so fascinating seeing someone grow and oh how much have the Grass Roots grown in the past 3 years. They've been close to my heart since forever and I really love them so much.

Final conclusion: I hope you've hurt as much as I do. I hope reading this has shown you something from my perspective that has made you hurt a little more. Talk to me and be my friend so we can hurt together.

On a more self note: Like I said, I'm writing stuff. I'm drawing stuff. It sucks to think sometimes that so few people will see it, but I know that I love what I'm doing. I may be prideful and want more people to love me, but I think I'm not selfish for wanting so. Reading this drains me. Reading this fills me with inspiration and joy and happiness and pain and anger and sadness.

I hope you don't find it just plain cringe that my emotions work like this. I hope that you reading this find comfort in knowing someone feels this way too. Thank you.

#sun rants

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miraculous-mare · 4 years

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Hi everyone! I'm Imbri, I made this sideblog earlier this month when I got super into MLB and DCU from a more fanfic-esque perspective and wanted to try my hand at fic writing. I've since been pretty sick and I'm only just getting better, so I wanted to throw some possible story arcs and headcanons on here so I could preserve them somewhere and hold myself accountable for writing them. If this gets long I'll make separate posts but for now enjoy my tired ramblings

1. To All the Vigilantes I've Loves Before (TALTBILB AU)

We're starting with a fluffier one bc I'm in that kind of mood. You know how in To all the boys Lara Jean writes her letters when she has a huge crush? To her, the letters are a way to immortalize that feeling, to preserve it forever. She locks her love away until she wants to acknowledge it again, preserving it and ensuring her feelings are never tainted by the reality of these people. I don't think Marinette would do that. No, Marinette gets too caught up in the rosy side of love, especially when she's younger. She doesn't need a constant reminder of the good things about her crushes, she needs to be reminded of the bad, of the harsh reality of these people. Young Marinette dives in too deep too fast with Adrien, ignores his character in favor of her fantasy, and she never forgets how much it hurt. So in a moment of clarity, when he tells her not to stand up to Lila and abandons her, she writes him a letter. It's not mean, or attacking, and she doesn't intend to send it (she still addresses and stamps it, of course, because she's extra like that, and makes sure not to seal it so she can reread it, but she plans to keep it locked away). It's just an honest reflection on how he's not who she thought he was. How her affection for him was toxic, how she can't go back to being the Marinette who's obsessed with him, but he will always be the first boy she ever loved. Loved, past tense. And she intends to keep it that way.

Luka is the next one to get a letter. She writes his in the middle of the night. She couldn't sleep, had randomly decided to design a new stage outfit for him, and was quite impressed with her work until she found herself coloring his eyes green and his hair blond. She stops herself before she adds black cat ears, but the damage is done. Mari realizes he had always been a distraction for her, that she was trying to use his affection to bounce back from heartache. She rereads her letter to adrien before taking out a clean sheet of paper. Luka's letter is about how she can't hold on to love or the idea of a relationship so as to ignore her feelings and her hurt. She writes about how she was lucky to make new friends when her class turned her back on her, but she was trying too hard to pretend nothing had changed. Luka was filling the void Adrien had left, and marinette knew that she couldn't fall back on her unhealthy habits. She mentions that she still loves Luka, of course she does, but not like that, never like that. The next day, she tells him, in no uncertain terms, that he means a lot to her, really, and she doesn't want to lead him on, but he's honestly just a friend. Luka smiles and hugs her and tells her that's fine, and they remain close.

Chat noir gets his own letter when she starts to see herself with him but he won't stop flirting. She writes that as much as she can get caught up in the daydreams of their superhero power couple, he never wants to give her space or let her figure anything out. When they defeat hawkmoth and she finds out who he is, she pens an short paragraph about how hypocritical it was of him to tell her to back off Lila and let things work themselves out while being so insistent in his relationship with ladybug. She puts all three letters into one envelope and seals it. She knows now she can never love Adrien, that she will never look at him the same. She's learned her lesson, and she wants to leave this chapter in the past.

As Marinette grows up, finishes high school and her Guardian studies, as she gets her business degree, the pile of letters only grows. But Mari has become too hurt, too cautious with her heart. Her letters, once testaments to her growth and maturity, are now filled with excuses. Too scared to let anything develop into more than a basic crush, she pens a letter every time she lets her guard down, every time she feels even a sliver of non-platonic affection for anyone, and stashes it away with the rest of her unresolved feelings.

When she pins Kim down for a second too long during one of their sparring matches, she writes that she cannot jeopardize their friendship. They train together less frequently after that.

When she finds herself laughing too hard at her seatmate's whispered jokes in Intro to Business, she reasons that they're probably a player and sits somewhere else from then on.

On a visit to Paris, she loses herself in Kagami's eyes and her letter is about how stupid it is to even try long distance. So on and so forth, until her letters are nothing but quick notes and her reasons become meaningless.

This post is too long so I'm gonna rush through the next bits I'm sorry. She finally moves to Gotham, opens up a little boutique, and ladybug accepts an invitation to join the League. Soon after, she meets the Robins (it's hard not to come in contact when everyone enjoys jumping off the same rooftops in the dead of night), and she has a new, albeit secondary, team/family (because of course they know each other's identities).

At this point, Marinette has over twenty letters, all wrapped in twine and stuffed into a small box she keeps at the back of her closet. Her kwami try to push her to date again, insist this terrible habit needs to be broken, but she insists she's fine alone. Most are okay with this, but Plagg and Trixx? Not so much. One day, while she's down in her Atelier in the middle of a fitting, they rifle through the box, pick out a single letter, and convince kaalki to (begrudgingly) open up a portal straight into someone's PO Box (p sure Plagg used cataclysm by himself once so it's possible. If not let's ignore that and pretend it is lmao). Tikki is not impressed, but she doesn't do anything to stop them either.

It's three days later when Marinette finds out it's missing, a flirty encounter with red hood sending her rifling through her stash for Jason Todd's name. She needs to remind herself that he's too much of a bad boy, too flirty, too dark, that she’s too close to the bats to ruin it with feelings. She decides she misplaced it until Jason stops by her flat two days later, letter in hand.

Now, Jason technically comes over to confront Marinette, but he’s not sure about what, exactly. she seemed to have liked him at some point, but was convinced it wouldn’t work out. Part of him wants to prove her wrong, part of him is wondering why she’s so mistrusting to have written him off so soon. Marinette, upon seeing her letter, panics, but she ends up having to explain everything. Jason isn’t sure if he should be more concerned that literal gods have decided to take her relationship into their own tiny hands or that she’s so scared of loving she’s got this stash of letters about nearly everyone in her life. Eventually he convinces her to pull them out, and Jason is so shocked by the sheer number of them that he almost wants to wrap her in his arms and show her that love isn’t all bad. Instead, he slips and offers to help set her up on dates, and before they know it they have a contract: he’ll plan a new blind date for her, with anyone from one of the open letters, every two weeks. She promises to go in open-minded and do her best to actually make it work. In exchange, he’ll model for her newest line (something she’s been begging him to do for ages). When she says the contract is all in her favor, he throws in that she can be his date to the Wayne Christmas Party at the end of the year. They shake on it, and the pieces begin to fall into place.

Cue six months of a heavily pining Jason setting Marinette up on dates she progressively wants to go on less and less. Cue them meeting for fittings and clothe designs in Marinette’s atelier and grabbing coffee together. Marinette starts to open up to the possibility of love, but with Jason, who’s obviously not interested or else why would he still be setting her up on dates? it’s all incredibly messy and complicated and a little angsty but just a ton of fun.

Idk I feel like this idea low-key sucks now that I’ve written it out so uhhh let me know what you guys think? I have other ideas but I’m gonna put them into other posts bc this is too long as is.

#maribat #mlb x dc #jasonette #to all the boys au #my writing #Imbri rants about fictional characters

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jimmymcgools · 3 years

Photo

ahh i was just gonna do a slightly earlier chunk in that chap 14 scene, but this is even better! ty pal 💖💖

fic commentary meme and my answers

(screenshotted the question so i can answer on this sideblog)

“Kim,” he says, and he exhales. Feels a tightness on his skin as he says, “Why are you doing this?” She flinches, almost. A little blink and a shift backward.

ah the eternal struggle of trying to capture one of rhea’s expressions 😂

from jimmy’s perspective i don’t think this is a dumb question at all, but i don’t think kim even considered not helping jimmy. so it takes her aback that jimmy would have to ask about this.

“But I guess I’ve been selfish since I came here,” she says, voice soft now, head tilted. “I guess I came here to be selfish. And it all came crashing down.”

i loved the idea of this because i love characters opening up or being honest in a way that isn’t actually objectively true. or, at least, the truth here is that this is some of what kim feels about leaving her family in nebraska and coming to make a more self-controlled and powerful life in albuquerque, but is it selfish to look after yourself and to better yourself? i mean, maybe a bit, or maybe in a less negatively-connotated version of the word.

and i liked the fight between the two kinds of selfishness in kim here. wanting to be in control and climb the ladder... and then wanting to be with jimmy, even though it makes it harder to be in control of her life, but he makes her feel good and he makes her happier.

“You never lied to me,” he offers, eventually. “You were honest—told me you didn’t have time, that it wouldn’t be fair.” He sighs. “But I kept pushing.”

kinda flipping the moment in the big argument where jimmy says that although kim never explicitly lied to him she didn’t behave honestly -- that her absence of words might not be dishonesty but it’s not honesty either.

i like their little tentative steps back out onto the ice, each trying to take responsibility, or sharing responsibility.

“I was selfish,” Kim says again, and they sound like words she’s been saying for months, coming up to the surface over and over now because they’ve been held back for so long, like they’re gasping for breath. “I was selfish, and I—I wanted you.”

📣 KIM WEXLER WANTS JIMMY MCGILL GODDAMMIT 📣

you can really see the influence of my kim pov pieces here

“I wanted you like I wanted the rest of it,” Kim continues, waving a hand. “Like I wanted the law degree and the nice briefcase and the big office on the fiftieth floor.”

love thinking about kim in the same breath as “they’re on the 35th floor? you’re gonna be on the 50th floor. you’re gonna be looking down on them.”

“You’re…” She sighs. “Anyway. Maybe that’s worse than lying. Maybe that’s worse, making you think this could be something steady and then pulling the floor out from under you every time.” She stares at him, blue and bright. “So I get it.” And milder now, almost throwaway: “But I’d like to help with this. If you’ll have me.”

this is kim’s alternative version of jimmy’s “you're like ice” during the rooftop bar scene.

there, jimmy gives himself all the agency in walking out onto the dangerous ice. here, kim gives herself all the agency for pulling the stable surface out from beneath him. but the end result is the same!

“Kim,” he says, humming the end of her name

little callback to acb: Kim: crisp and sharp but with a soft humming noise at the end, smooth and warm on his lips. Kim.

i wanted to sort of unconsciously refer back to that period in their relationship with how jimmy appreciates saying kim’s name here, how he’s aware of this humming part again.

His knee touches hers where the booths angle close to each other.

this is why i think it’s just as valuable for writers to look up ref pictures of settings as it is for visual artists, because i never would have thought of these angled booths until i saw them in photos of the owl cafe, and i love what it adds!

The jukebox changes. Eighties synths and kicking drums rise through the restaurant, and it sounds like driving down a road late at night, or like drunken mornings at Arno’s.

i said it a couple of places already, but all the music in this chapter is really on the jukebox in the real owl cafe. please play this for me if you ever go!!

youtube

And he looks at his wrong answers, at the sharp black letters of his writing.

one of the little visual motif thingies in safs, these sharp black letters. they overtake jimmy when he has his optical poptitude breakdown in chapter 5.

Kim nods like she’d been expecting the solemnity of his answer, like it all makes sense to her, somehow. He keeps waiting for her to ask him why, for her to ask what he was thinking or what he’s doing or why he hid it from her or why he’s here—but she still doesn’t.

one of the big fundamental misunderstandings that jimmy’s still holding on to. he didn’t think kim would understand and he’s STILL waiting for the other shoe to drop, for her to start up the argument again. and there’s the “why are you here” that haunted jimmy through the first half of safs.

Instead, she stands, and he watches her. She holds out a hand, palm up. “Come on,” she says. “C’mere.”

this is totally and shamelessly my postmodern prometheus moment, whoops

bette davis eyes vibed so similar to walking in memphis and the idea wormed its way into my lizard brain and wouldn’t let go.

is it earned?? i don’t know, it’s fanfiction. hopefully it fits with the strange magic bubble (or island??) these two make in the owl cafe for this one night.

tysm for the ask! 💖💖

#asks #queenofnots #commentary ask meme

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tinybriewrites · 5 years

Text

Set the Stage: 2

Behind the Mask: A Parisian Special

A spin-off of Behind the Mask: Gotham ed.

---

Based on @ozmav ‘s Maribat AU

--- << | < | > | >> ---

[Phase 1-1.5]

[SATURDAY - 11:00 PM]

For the top-ranked show in the US, Behind the Mask barely had any useful information online. All Lila could find were jokes about a guy and his coffee. She couldn't even find the name of the director!

‘What kind of shady show was this?’ she raged.

I have to be careful. The class, save for Marinette, never doubted her lies about knowing people in high places, but it would be impossible to fool everyone who'd watch the episode. Someone would notice and throw her to wolves. She'd be outed to the world- I have to keep them quiet.

The class was easy to fool. One message was all it took. And as for Marinette, Lila had gotten Alya to do her dirty work.

Lila: Hi, everyone! Could I ask for a favor?

Nino: Sure, dudette

Alya: We have your back, girl!

Alix: Yeah^^ Thanks for convincing your director uncle to do a Paris special and feature your friends-

Ivan: It's already a big help for KS,

Juleka: ask away :))

Lila: Could you all not mention me and my connections when they're filming? I don't think my friends would appreciate being name-dropped on television..

Alya: Definitely!

Juleka: sureeeee :')

several people are typing

Lila: Could someone else tell Marinette? I don't think she'd want me texting her. She doesn't open the class chat anymore, and I think it might be because of me

Alya: I'll message her, don't worry. And you don't have to feel bad about that. Girl needs some time to chill out, for sure.

Nino: She'll def be back here eventually.

Mylene: hrm,,

Kim: This isn't like Mari. You guys haven't known her for as long as we have. I'm sure she'll come around, yeah.

Alya: Maybe, I guess.

Lila: Thanks, BFF! We're still on for tomorrow?

Alya: You bet! And don't worry about Mari, girl. She won't be there to hound you, I made sure of it.

Nino: That's not very cool, Als...

Kim: ^^

Mylene: I don't know,,, but Lila *does* deserve a break,,

Alya: Yeah, and besides, it's a girls' day out. Nothing personal but I don't think you should get a say about how we spend it (:

Alya: Anywayy, Juleka, you and Rose really can't make it?

Juleka: We're going on a double date so we can't reschedule. sorry :((

Kim: Whatever. It's getting late, night slowpokes

Alix: HNG

Lila: I'm headed to bed too. Sweet dreams everyone <3

Too easy.

‘It's like they want to be played,’ she cooed.

Her oldest friends, Nino and Kim, haven't completely abandoned her yet, but they'll give in. They always do. Alya, Alix, and Max already eat out of the palm of her hand. It's just a matter of time before they convince the skeptical ones.

---

Behind the Scenes:

[Dick is Mother]

Tim: hears Damian's footstep pattern

Tim: He's in on it, right?

(Dick and Damian enter the kitchen)

(They see Tim working beside a bag of coffee beans on the table)

Dick: pauses at the sight of Tim

Dick: ..please tell me you slept

Tim: Yes, mother. I did get some sleep, mother.

Dick: ignores Tim in asdfgkl

Dick: You all set, Baby Bird? We have to leave in five if you want to make it in time for your date.

Damian: smirks Yes, mother. Everything is ready, mother.

Dick: groans in tired

Dick: I'm not dealing with this at five in the morning. I'll grab breakfast in the plane.

Dick: dramatic walkout

Damian: You didn't sleep, did you, Drake?

Tim: smirks, turns the coffee bag around

Tim: I had some sleep

Damian: shakes head

Damian: You better hide that from Father and Dick. Jason, too, actually. He's in that mode.

Tim: crinkles nose Again?

Damian: grim smile Again.

Damian: moves to leave

Damian: Enjoy the coffee while you can-

Tim: You still owe me

door slam

---

Bonus 1: the group chat

Bonus 2: the profile pictures

---

[A/N] I’m really sorry for the long wait- I just couldn’t get into a writing mood. Anyway, I won’t be on discord for a while because the notifications piled up (they make me feel so anxious) so I won’t be sharing the link there. Feel free to share it in my place though.

I did start this fic with the plan to have the whole class share one brain cell, but I decided to change it up a bit. Kim and Nino do believe Lila’s lies, but they also know Mari isn’t really like that. They think that all Marinette-related lies are an accident/misunderstanding. In this AU, the only anti-Mari lies are about Mari not wanting to be friends with her and about backing off when it comes to Adrien. It’s all just verbal, no physical or cyber evidence that way (my word against hers mindset, and Lila knows how to spin the right words). Kim and Nino still think of Mari as a good friend. The rest of the class, not so much.

A bit of info about the years and ages. Lila enters the class in 4ème (13-14). At the start, Mari had Nino and Alya on her side in school. Then, Lila convinced the whole class that Mari was being mean and all. Nino and Kim think the whole thing is a misunderstanding so they talk to Mari. They want the two girls to get along. Mari tries to feel them out with regards to Lila’s lies. She finds out that they do believe Lila but they also believe in her. So, she doesn’t push because of Adrien and the high road and they believe in her so that should be enough, right? She does warn them about believing too easily though. Anyway, when the class goes out together, Lila always volunteers to tell Marinette (she doesn’t). She makes excuses that Mari is too busy with the bakery etc. So, Mari ends up feeling very isolated in school. From her perspective, the class talks about group outings they never invite her to in front of them. Nino and Kim are too caught up in listening to Lila’s tales (because Alya, Max, and Alix are there too). So Mari is basically alone in class for the rest of 4ème. At that point, she’s gotten over the whole Adrien thing and sees how wrong his mindset was. Cue the school break after 4ème, she runs into someone (not Damian). Things happen, and some people (go ahead and guess ;) ) believe her about Lila’s lies. They don’t hang out in class because they don’t want Lila to know that they figured out her lies. They hang out after class fairly often though.

Anyway. It’s now Première. So, it’s been 3 years (16-17).

---

Tag list

@vixen-uchiha @mikantsume @howtoshuckatlife @captainmac6 @aloha-posts-stuff @scribblinggraveyard

#tinybriewrites #Behind the Mask: Gotham ed #A Parisian Special #reality tv au #grayson the mom #maribat #miraculous ladybug #daminette #maridami #lila salt #adrien salt #alya salt #fic post

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chriscdcase95 · 4 years

Text

How not to debate Ships and Shipping

I am writing this from personal experience, and from noticing bad cases of Ship Policing going on in the Hazbin Hotel and Star Wars fandom as of late. I figured a bunch of kids got too much computer time from their parents and are in need of education, because this is a more extreme throwback to the shipping wars that occurred in the Twilight and iCarly fanbase from way back when.

Since 2010, I have found myself a little immersed into the practice of shipping. At the start of this decade, I was Team Edward/Team Jacob levels of ship crazy, and here I am now with a new perspective on things.

I've even devolved into multi shipping, but I apply that when it comes to compartmentalizing fanfiction and canon. I have my share of OTP's and NOTP's (although Jemma of Every Witch Way is personally my top NOTP for multiple reasons).

Anyways, welcome to my TedTalk where I will educate you ten to fifteen year old's about how not to debate ships. Take it from an old geezer with ten years of experience, I was there in the middle of ship wars at the start of the decade.

I said in previous posts that ships are a funny thing. They should be small in the grand scheme of things, and fans put them on this great and grand pedestals. Some to the extent where people become downright psychotic bullies about the ships they like or don't like, going as far as to police ships to other fans, and sometimes creators. I think we can agree Ship Policing should be seen as toxic behaviour, right ? Well, no. I'll admit that is a complex issue, even for a multi shipper like me. I brought this up in two Facebook groups I'm in, and the basic consensus is that Ship Policing is toxic behaviour - except when they romanticize domestic violence, rape, pedophilia, etc.

But what is Ship Policing ? Simply put, telling people who they are or are not allowed to ship; bullying and shaming others over their ships; and in the biggest extreme, sending death threats and rape threats to other fans over these pairings. The Jemma fans of Every Witch Way for example, are probably the biggest example of Ship Policing, seeing as they literally got the showrunners to rewrite the show to fit their ships fanfiction AU image. But that's neither here nor there, but the point is, AU's are best left to fanfiction or It's A Wonderful Life plots.

Similarly, the Hazbin Hotel fandom had this (hopefully/mercifully one) really bad apple coming the Chalastor fandom, who went on homophobic speeches and demanding that the showrunners make Chalastor canon over Chaggie because and RadioDust- in their own words - "Gays are gross" and went as far as to send death threats to the creators. Because that will certainly make your ship canon, and not make you and yours look like the Jemma fandom.

A less malicious and more hilariously petty example comes from The Loud House fandom, where Luanny fans tend to get butthurt over fans, fics and art of the Luaggie ship, despite the Luanny already being canon and Luaggie only ever existing in fanworks. It was such a one sided non-issue, that it was the Spec Ops the Line of ship wars.

Also within the Loud House fandom there is an artist who made OC's based off of his ships AU. I'm not into the ship or AU, but I saw him getting death threats not just to himself, but his OC's as well. I may not be fully aware of the situation (like I just said, I don't follow the ship or AU), but even I can call this a toxic and illogical way of thinking.

To make a primary and personal example for this lecture, I am going to bring up the most outlandish ship discussion I was part of the past year. Some time ago, I ended up in a debate regarding Kim Possible ships in a Facebook group I posted on. In it I said I wasn't into non canon but popular ship called Kigo. When I re-watched the series, the Drakgo and Kim x Ron (the latter of which I just realized didn't have a ship name) just kind of grew on, and I felt that there were some problems with Kigo as a romantic relationship.

Now I want to make sure to point out that if you like Kigo, that is 100% okay, it is just in my opinion that it would be problematic. It's my personal opinion that if you apply their canon characterization, you'll run into the same problems Anti Reylos have with Rey and Ben. Anyways, when I said my peace, most of the Kigo's didn't make a big deal about it; they took it in stride; calmly disagreed with me and stated their stance. This is what a proper ship discussion should be. It would have been one of the most stable, non toxic discussions I was a part of. Nothing memorable was supposed to happen.

Then she came along.

Since she isn't internet famous on this site or others as far as I know, I am not going to use real names because I don't want this person to be doxxed, stalked or cyberbullied, but I will us LP as a substitute. She will be our example of what a toxic anti will look like, and our example of how not to debate or discuss a ship. Simply put, if she had the fame, she would be the TrueLoveHeart94 of the Kigo fandom (look up Dumbsville's videos on him YouTube, and you'll get a good idea of what I'm talking about).

One of the first things to use is a simple explanation for your stance. When I was explaining my stance, I explained how I came to my conclusions simply by watching the show, putting some thought into it, and making my own opinion based on what I observed. Like I said these were my opinions, observations, and at no point do I claim it to be some objective fact. At no point to attack Kigo's, at no point did I call them toxic. The most I did was explain why I find it problematic. Like I said, if you like Kigo that is 100% fine and dandy, you'll get not hate or bullying from me.

LP on the other hand, well she just couldn't accept that someone didn't like Kigo. How dare I prefer two canonically heterosexual characters in a canon het ship. How dare I commit the crime of having an unpopular, differing opinion. Even worse how dare I try to explain my reasoning.

It was one of those fan discussions. Now when I thought this was going to be a civil discussion, I asked her just why I was wrong not to ship Kigo. Why is Kim x Ron or Drakgo so toxic ? She didn't really give me a real answer; the closest she got to a coherent response was a borderline Darwinist rant about how "strong women shouldn't date weakling men".

That was what should have made me think "is this discussion worth having ?" (For the record, some of my favourite ship dynamics is with a tough or strong woman with a meek, even nerdish man so the whole "the strong shouldn't be paired up with weaklings" is a non argument to me).

Pretty soon she began breaking the following steps one should take in a debate

. Don't use double standards or Non Sequiturs - First thing you should be aware of in any debate is to actually listen too and answer you're opponents points. The talking points of dodging questions, or ignoring answers - a well as using those same answer to support your points - is an inherently dishonest tactic. If you have a point or counterpoint, it'll do you good not to use dishonest tactics to try to "win" your debates.

One of the things I had issues with regarding Kigo was one of the same points (if not the main) LP raised for the ship. As I said above one of my problems was some of the same talking points Anti-Reylo's raise. I pointed out how Kim and Shego have tried to kill each other a few times in the series, something LP both acknowledges and ignores in the exact same sentence. LP's own talking points for their relationship was their romantic/sexual chemistry could be seen in their fight scenes. This is an example of a Double Standard.

When I pointed out the abusive implications of this thought process, rather than directly answer this, LP went on to equate my point as accusing professional wrestlers of being abusive to their wives. This is an example of a Non Sequitur. She doesn't answer or address my points, and my points don't count unless they support her argument.

Double standards and Non Sequiturs in general should be avoided in any kind of debate. If a talking point is raised against you, it has to be addressed. Not doing so is a less dignified admission that you don't really have an answer.

Another example of this can be seen in the Team Edward vs Team Jacob noise; a Team Jacob fan could say that Edward was a stalker towards Bella, ignoring and dodging a counter argument of Jacob's "Nice Guy" attitude towards Bella and how he forcibly kissed her (also there's Charlie's non reaction to this, but that's beside the point). The same goes vice versa; both are problematic.

Use canon evidence to make your point - Admittedly this one can only really apply if you are making a case for a non canon ship, or pointing out problems with a canon one.

Now the reason LP was so impassioned about her arguments was her insistence that Kigo had to be canon. As she said, it wasn't enough that it was popular enough as a fanfic ship; it wasn't enough that I had to ship it; but she was trying to make the case that Kigo had to be the canon ship of the show, and she was trying to make the case for it.

TrueLoveHeart94 thought process aside, if you want to make a canon case for your ship, it'll do you good in ship debates is use canon evidence. What I am saying is there are some ships that work in canon, others in fanfiction. If you were to make a point to prove your ship would work in canon, use canon examples.

For example, I mentioned above someone in the Hazbin Hotel fandom tried to make the canon case for Chalastor....by citing their personal homophobia and making death threats towards Ashley and Vivziepop.

In the debate, I used the show to explain why I wasn't into Kigo (as well as my above mentioned reasons) and I mentioned how I didn't see much in canon to see a romantic relationship. Now I want to be clear, I saw Kigo as a fanfic based ship and I am aware that Drakken and Shego seemingly reform at the end of the series, but with canon at best I see Kim and Shego as having a sisterly relationship. I also want to be clear I am not a canon purist. There are many non canon couples I like, I am a multi-shipper after all and I can compartmentalize fanfic couples with my canon OTP's. And I am a supporter of AU's. Hell, there's even Hero x Villain ships I am into...it's just Kigo isn't one of them. I am not an anti; I don't hate the Kigo relationship or it's fan; I just wasn't into it and the canon ships just grew on me when I revisited the series.

When I asked for canon examples that Kigo could work as a romantic pairing, LP's response was to cite fanfiction and fan art as proof.

Let me repeat; I asked for canon examples to prove her point, and why my stance was wrong....and she used fanworks.

I don't think I need to explain the problem here.

To my knowledge, not even TrueLoveHeart94 uses fanfiction/art to make a canon case for Sonamy. This is the kind of straw grasping I can see Chris Weston Chandler making. I don't even know what else to say about this. I still get slacked thinking about it.

Anyway, when I said the fanfiction isn't considered canon, LP responded thusly...

Avoid Ad Hominems and slander

Okay, this one should be a no brainer; when you are in a debate of any kind, there is one thing you can do that means you immediately loose your debate. Your points no longer become valid, you surrender any argument you may have, and you prove that you are not worth debating.

Ad Hominems, personal insults, death/rape threats, racist/homophobic ranting, slander, etc.

Let's just say the nicer things LP said was calling me retarded. I am not sure if that was a coincidence since I mentioned that I was autistic earlier in the discussion.

Keep in mind, all I did throughout the discussion was answer LP's questions, and explain my stance. I even said that it was just my opinion and at no point did I claim it to be objective fact. At no point did I accuse LP of being racist; a nazi; biphobe; rape/abuse apologist; self-misogynist or misandrist; I never called her abelist (despite some of what she said above).

As for what she said to me ? Like I said, being called a retard was one of the more tame things she said of me. She kept sending me notifications that included angry, barely coherent rants, TrIgGeReD tExT, the whole nine yards.

See, this isn't how you win debates, this is how you rage quit these debates. To give you an idea of the way she was saying, I refer you to Dumbsville's videos on TrueLoveHeart94; the resemblance between LP and TrueLoveHearts comments are rather uncanny. Now for context, the discussion started approx. 6:00 to 7:00 PM...these notifications have been ongoing well into 1:30 AM.

And all this because I said I wasn't into a ship she liked.

That is when I put a stop to the discussion. I blocked LP and deleted the discussion just to be safe.

Conclusion

So as we start the new decade, I look back at how much I've seen making mountains out of molehills (shipping wars). I have seen, heard, even been part of these ship wars and discussions since 2010. My disastrous "debate" with LP is a recent example.

I do believe there is nothing wrong with discussing ships, but it has ben ten years and ship wars are just as bad as they were when Twilight hit the scene. I have heard stories of people getting threats of rape, doxing, threats to people families; people pushing others to self harm for liking "the wrong ship".

I wrote this to educate the young and impressionable in the 2020's not to repeat the same mistakes both I and others made in 2010. The fact the LP incidents is from 2019 and the incident with the Hazbin Hotel fandom are from December 2019 alone, shows that you good folks need some learning to do. Something that should be considered fun shouldn't be something worth hurting yourself or others over.

If you ever find yourself in such a debate, always remember to actually address points raised against you; don't dodge questions; if asked to provide canon reasons for why something should be a canonical OTP or NOTP, please remember that fanfiction are not considered canon examples; if you ever find yourself throwing nasty accusations, insults or threats to people's safety in a debate, then that means you lost the debate.

Hopefully you can follow this advise, and help make shipping fun again, and not something to start World War III over.

This had been my Ted Talk.

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gofordrakgo · 5 years

Note

Prompt: "Weakness" Genre: Fluff or Hurt/Comfort

So, this is the first actual short fic I’ve written! And my first attempt at writing from Drakken’s perspective. I did my best to get a sort of middle-ground between the genres while staying true to the characters. Anyone up for some more post-graduation drakgo?? Hope you enjoy!

“The day he finally discovered what she was afraid of happened many years after they’d begun to work together. It was something he’d never have even considered. He had a (top-secret) list of ideas which was dozens upon dozens of items long and yet it had not once occurred to him.”

It is a universal truth that everybody, no matter how cool and collected, has a weakness. And he knew that someday he would find hers. He never told her this, of course. If he’d ever dared she would have made his life hell just to point out how much weaker than her he was. As it was her mocking often made him sputter out awkward grunts and half-shouts before he’d finally manage to scream out her name or tell her to zip it.

It wasn’t that he wanted to find her weakness to be cruel… it would just be nice to know she was human. And oh alright, it would be nice to have something to use as leverage once in a while, when she got too lippy.

He’d tried horror movies. She found them thrilling, and often amusing. Inadvertently he’d also given her more mocking material because he’d ended up cowering in a ball on the corner of the couch. He’d not expected the amount of blood there had been, nor had he realized just how creepy the demon character was. She’d just laughed at him but was at least kind enough to reassure him that he was safe. Actually, it wasn’t intentionally kind, she’d been making fun of him when she said it but he found it comforting nevertheless.

He’d tried heights, which he realized as she threw herself from the plane had been ridiculous. She was a thrill-seeker and had pulled crazier stunts. At least he refrained from screaming as they freefell. He did pull his parachute earlier than she did, but she didn’t even make fun of him for that. Maybe he had done better than she would have expected.

He’d scheduled doctors’ appointments for them and for all the henchman. He may be evil but he wasn’t stupid, and it was high time they were all brought up to date on their vaccinations. He’d even had their families vaccinated, which he thought was rather nice of him. After seeing more than one of his henchmen faint at the sight of the needles he’d begun to think maybe Shego was scared of needles as well. After all, she’d protested the necessity of the doctor all week. He watched as she stormed into the room and slammed down a folder that held her medical history (he didn’t mention he’d already provided the doctor with her documents, she’d accuse him of being too in her business). Then she sat down in the chair, rolled up her sleeve and got her flu shot for the year.

“Happy now?” she spat. “Can I go now that you’ve wasted most of my day off?”

So, she wasn’t afraid of needles either.

Storms were out of the question since he remembered the incident with the weather machine just fine. It was the first time he’d hugged her without being blasted with plasma. Actually, he’d more clung to her because he had been terrified, but normally even that—especially that—would be enough to bring him harm. He remembered it so well because he’d spent the entire night awake, wishing he hadn’t let go, like some lovestruck fool. Not that he was in love! No way! She was just… nice to… hold… and- never mind that! He didn’t love Shego! She was his employee and, on some rare days, his friend. This journey to find her weakness wasn’t some pulling at pigtails crush! It was just… well. It was… She wouldn’t feel the same even if he did love her so who cares?!

Clowns freaked him out, and as they hid inside a circus tent to evade the police (it was convenient it was there since the circus might be the only place that they actually blended in) he discovered they annoyed her to no end. But they didn’t scare her in the least.

She wasn’t afraid of spiders either. That was another possibility he didn’t bother with. Killing spider was in her contract. And he meant that literally. Oh, she’d teased him relentlessly for the first year of her employment but after awhile she just got rid of spiders with very little to say about it.

The day he finally discovered what she was afraid of happened many years after they’d begun to work together. It was something he’d never have even considered. He had a (top-secret) list of ideas which was dozens upon dozens of items long and yet it had not once occurred to him.

“So, what do we do now, Doc?” She asked as he pulled her into the hovercraft. For a moment he didn’t answer, as he gave her a quick but minimally invasive once over. She’d been knocked out- not for very long but he rarely saw her actually injured after a fight. He didn’t mind admitting then and there that he’d been afraid for her. “Doc?” She demanded again, slapping his hand away from the back of her head where he’d been checking for blood.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I should have-”

“Drakken, I’m fine. Can we just go home now, or something? I’m tired and sore but I’m fine. I just want to sleep.”

“Yes, right. Of course. Home it is.” Home. Had she ever called one of the lairs home before? He didn’t think she had. “Back to the lair?”

She nodded and slumped further into her seat. “You’re driving, flower boy.”

He groaned at the name but didn’t bother to protest. She’d already closed her eyes, evidently through talking.

He couldn’t help but watch her the whole time he was driving. It saddened him to think about it but he’d kind of… well, he had kind of expected her not to come for him. And from there his mind drifted to that stupid almost-hug. Why had he stopped? She had really looked like she wanted to hug him too. And he’d just… been a coward. Four years and counting and he couldn’t think of one thing she was afraid of, but she probably could think of dozens of things he was afraid of in her sleep.

He told himself it would have embarrassed her, for him to hug her in front of Kim Possible and her buffoonish sidekick. That wasn’t true though. He’d been scared. He’d been scared again, as they flew back to the lair, and when the alien robot things broke through the roof of the Middleton lair. And during the first moment after he’d yelled for his plants to attack when nothing had happened. And most of all when Shego had been flung away like a piece of garbage and that awful cracking sound and… he looked over to her again, to make sure she was still alright. She was curled up like a kitten, her hands balled up in tight fists next to her head, still sleeping soundly.

He was a coward, but not because he was afraid of horror movies, or clowns, or spiders. No, he was a coward because he could hardly admit to himself that he loved her. But he did. He loved her.

It took a few hours but he finally pulled the hovercraft up to their new jungle lair. Actually, it was more of a treehouse with a lab.

“Shego?” He whispered. Shego was not a happy riser, but she’d be even less happy if he carried her inside. Instead of hitting at him the way he’d expected she nodded, drifted to her feet, and walked inside on her own.

“Crap,” she moaned as they got inside. “We never unpacked.”

“I’ll find the mattresses,” he offered, though what he wanted to say was I told you to unpack!

“Yeah, I’m awake now, might as well help.”

After three grueling hours of opening boxes, they managed to find one mattress, big enough to hold both of them—if they cuddled. Cuddling just wasn’t something they did so, despite his protesting muscles and the exhaustion that was starting to make it hard to stay on his own two feet, he told her to take it.

“Are you sure, Doctor D? I can… we can look a little while longer I mean. Or…”. A faint green blush took over her features and she fell silent.

In his exhaustion he barely noticed. “Or what, Shego?” he asked around a yawn.

“Nothing.”

“Oh. Okay. If you want to keep looking you can, but I really think you should rest.”

“Says the one who’s been yawning every other word.”

“Zip it,” he muttered, half-heartedly.

Half an hour later Shego quit and crawled onto the mattress. Another hour after that and the sun was beginning to rise in the distance. His throat closed up with the threat of exhausted, frustrated tears. Where could the other mattress have gone? Or even just a pillow! A blanket! Anything so he could just go to sleep.

A startled gasp escaped him as a hand clapped around his own, but it was just Shego.

“Go to bed, Doc,” she yawned and before he could say anything else she pulled him towards her, and made room for him on the bed. Too tired to feel awkward about it he clambered in next to her with a quiet sigh.

She curled into him. She cuddled up with him. Her head was on his chest, one of her arms thrown across his stomach. After a moment’s hesitation, he decided even she couldn’t get too mad at him, so he buried his face in her hair and held her to him.

“I’m really glad you’re okay,” she mumbled into his skin. “I was so afraid they would have hurt you.”

He blinked in surprise, pulling away to make sure it was actually Shego he’d cuddled up with. “You- you were?”

“Of course I was, you idiot.” She nestled into him again, her breath evening out.

After a long moment, he let out a quiet laugh. When that didn’t rouse her he kissed the top of her head and whispered, “I love you, Shego.”

And as he fell asleep he swore he heard her mumble, “love you too, Doc.”

#drakgo #drakken #shego #drakgo fanfiction #shego x drakken #drakken x shego #gofordrakgo #oneshot #6 pages #1677 words #anon

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reifromrfa · 5 years

Text

Threads of Thoughts | Juminzine Fic

Hi guys! Here’s my fic for the @juminfanzine! :)

This is a bit different from my other pieces, but I really hope you like it <3 I love Jumin and it was so much fun to try and write from his perspective ^^ Thank you to everyone who supported the zine!

Also, thank you to my amazing collab partner, Franjipantree (follow her on twitter!) <3

Enjoy! :D

Heir Exclusive is privileged to get a sneak peek into the thoughts of Korea’s wealthiest man, Jumin Han. The following is an excerpt from his upcoming memoir, Threads of Thoughts, capturing the innermost thoughts of C&R’s CEO regarding the various kidnapping attempts throughout his life. His book will be available early next year in bookstores internationally.

1st of September, 2018 | 01:42am

I have always been different. Born into wealth, my experiences differ from the normal South Korean citizen. I do not drive…I have chauffeurs. My meals are planned for me by a professional nutritionist, my physical health overseen by a personal trainer. At a young age, I have been taught how to run a business, given advanced lessons…I have been placed on a luxury jet, while other children share a bus or take the public transport.

We never choose the families we are born into. As children, we simply do what we are told, accept the cards we have been dealt; it is up to us to decide whether it will be a winning hand or not. I, of course, knew at a young age that I would inherit my father’s massive business empire —as Chairman Han’s sole heir, who else would he trust to run his company? I had been dealt a winning hand, but that did not mean I was going to relax; no, I intended to use my cards to my advantage and further increase their value.

There are those who cannot comprehend that the fortune my father amassed was gained through hard work…a sincere dedication to his business. There are those who take one look and classify my family and I as aristocratic snobs…as people who live off of their fortune, spending days languidly beside luxury pools or sophisticated parties. I do not feel the need to defend myself against such false accusations. C&R stands tall and firm because of the foundations my father erected, and as his heir, I plan to continue his legacy.

Unfortunately, the world is rife with greed. People will do anything for an easy way out...A shortcut to wealth, to a better life. This journal is where I am able to freely express my unfiltered thoughts. What I wish to talk about tonight is not about our family business…nor is it about my father. No…I wish to talk about the people who allow their greed to consume them, enough so they dare to commit atrocious crimes.

Such as kidnap.

I remember when I was a young boy…I did not question the team of elite bodyguards who accompanied me everywhere I went. I knew my status made me an easy target: sole heir of C&R, a mere child with no means to defend himself. I was already wary of people; who wouldn’t be, with my father’s endless parade of women? And having my father tell me of the threats to my life…of course I trusted him. He is my father, who else would care about my safety more than him?

Indeed, he was right about the dangers that lurk outside the walls of our estate. The first time someone ever attempted to kidnap me…yes, I still remember it vividly.

Class had just ended. I was safely in our car, seatbelt securely fastened when several black vans blocked our path and men with guns exited the vehicle. The other car with my backup bodyguards was nowhere to be seen. The guards with me immediately drew their own guns as we were surrounded by the strangers in masks. I watched the men shoot at our bulletproof windshield, try to pry open the doors with crowbars, yell out threats and demands from outside.

My father warned me about such situations. He said I should remain calm and think rationally, putting my safety above everything else. Showing fear would only give them more power, more leverage. I knew my father loved me —he still does. He would never give me false advice. Therefore I remained calm. Composed. Not showing a trace of fear to the barbaric kidnappers outside the vehicle. With the heavily tinted windows, I doubt they were able to see me anyway.

It was over before it even began. One minute, the men were threatening us while shooting at our car, the next, my bodyguards from the other vehicle came and shot their leader, bringing the other kidnappers to their knees. I still recall the bodyguards exiting the car, leaving me sitting in the back while they rounded up the kidnappers and surveyed the area. Only Driver Kim remained with me, offering a kind, reassuring smile.

My close encounter with the kidnappers was all over the news that evening. My father shielded me from the rabid reporters and hungry journalists, desperate for the drama a ‘traumatized rich boy' such as myself would offer. Yes, it was quite a shocking experience…but I would not go as far as to calling myself ‘traumatized’. Worried, my father had me examined by various health professionals, checking my physical and mental health with regards to the event…I was fine. I did not want to cause a fuss, and I was safely in the car when everything was happening. My father did not have to worry about me. I didn’t know it then, but that experience would be one of the many kidnapping attempts throughout my life.

To be honest, I do think these experiences have affected me subconsciously. At a young age, I have learned that humans are fragile creatures…easily broken. Humans are greedy and cannot be trusted. There are lengths to which some people would go, for money.

As an adult, I am very much aware of my status and the people who relentlessly chase me for my wealth. That is why I have hired the top men who would ensure my safety and my loved ones’ security. It has made me wary and indifferent to most people.

But she…she is different. My beloved MC…my precious wife. She has brought immense joy to my life, and to be honest, I am able to breathe easier when she is with me. The threads…she untangles them for me, loosens their hold on me.

She is my life.

And it terrifies me.

I know how easy it is for things to change…how easy it is to manipulate the thread of life. Just one snip…and a life is over. It is ironic that one such as I, a man with wealth and power, can have so much to fear.

But no amount of money in the world can ever bring back those we have lost…and I came very close to losing her today. Gone are the days that kidnappers targeted me. No…they know my weakness now. They know I would do anything for my wife. If it were me they took, I would never give the kidnappers anything. Therefore, they grew bold and tried to kidnap my wife.

Earlier this afternoon, MC had insisted to go out with Assistant Kang, to do some last minute preparations for the RFA party. When several men entered the store they were browsing in, the bodyguards contacted me immediately and I rushed to the scene. I called her, of course. I wanted to hear for myself that she was safe, she was unharmed. I shudder when I remember her anxious voice…

“My love, I see the men, they are already in the store and they are coming closer…Do not worry, Jumin, the bodyguards have spotted the—ah, please sir, don’t touch me!”

They dared to touch her…my precious wife. I grew so agitated and restless, I wanted nothing more than to be beside her and introduce the stranger to my fist. God...I will make sure they know what a grave mistake they have made. Thankfully, Assistant Kang is knowledgeable in judo —she was able to defend herself and MC from the men before my men took the kidnappers away.

However, the fact still remains…I could have lost her today. Had it been a different friend with her…or had they pulled out a weapon…God forbid.

Sometimes…Sometimes I wish I could keep her locked up in the penthouse. It is the one place that is heavily guarded, extremely difficult to reach…a safe haven. She would be safe at home.

…yes, I do understand it sounds like I am…unhinged. Rest assured, I am perfectly fine. I simply prefer exercising control over matters. When she is out there…though she is protected…there are other variables I cannot control, cannot foresee. There are innumerable dangers the world poses to my beloved wife. She has become a valuable asset, because she is the queen to whom the king would willingly sacrifice himself for.

She is my everything.

One word from her lips and I am unraveled, I am bested. I am willing to do anything for her. Today, I learned what true fear was. Today, I felt like a boy once more…powerless. Trapped inside a vehicle, waiting for news…good or bad, I have no control. Today, I clasp her thread tighter in my hands…for I do not want to lose her. I can’t. She does not know how much she means to me. And I do not dare to keep her locked up inside a cage…though I desire it, her happiness is also my priority. I want to see her smiling, her radiant glow driving out the hollow emptiness in my soul.

Earlier this evening, I held her close to me, my fingers stroking her hair, wet from her bath. MC was clearly a bit shaken, and I sought to soothe her nerves, reassure her that she was safe. I pressed my lips to her head and spoke to her…

“You are home, my love. Nothing will hurt you here…you are safe.”

“Yes…I know that, Jumin. But I still got scared. If they had gotten me…they would have used me against you. And I never want anybody to use me to blackmail you, Jumin.”

Imagine my shock…my wife still thought of my well-being despite being put at risk. But none of that mattered.

“MC, you are the most precious person in the world to me. Please, I ask you to put yourself above anybody else, even me. Your safety and happiness always come first.”

“No…Jumin, you are my husband. To love and to cherish…I made that vow to you. I don’t care what happens to me…if you are well, if you are safe and happy then I am happy.”

I pull her closer to me then, burying my face in her hair.

“I do not deserve such a wonderful person like yourself, my love…But know that I am never letting you go. I love you, MC. I love you.”

And I meant every word.

A million thoughts ran through my mind as I rushed to her earlier…different outcomes, possible scenarios. I thank God that she came out of it unscathed, unharmed. However, fear remains gnawing at the corners of my mind and my heart. What if someone attempts to take her away from me again…?

No. I must study her security detail once more. In the morning, I will have her bodyguards re-evaluated; perhaps I should add more men to guard her.

Ah…my wife calls for me. It seems as though my thoughts have consumed me, I have lost track of time. It has gotten quite late and I want to be with her…to hold her close and cherish her. Rea her she is safe, and I will never let anything bad happen to her.

Because she is my love...my life.

My MC.

Until then, my old friend.

I would love to know what you think <3 I hope you liked it! ^^

Check out my other Mysme writings here!

Mango Shake/Ko-fi is always very much appreciated (ᵔᴥᵔ)

I’d be honored to write your story <3

My patreon is quiet right now as I work on my original fics, but if you’d like to become a Patron and support me I will forever be thankful ;w;

#mm #mysme #mystic messenger #mm jumin #jumin han #mc #jumin x mc #mysme jumin #juminzine #jumin han x mc #han jumin #mm fic #mm fanfic #mysme fic #mystic messenger fic

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jimlingss · 5 years

Note

Hi, if you don’t mind me asking um I’m finally writing my first very own fanfic and I’m excited but when you introduce a character, are you quick and brief? Or do you go into lots of details?

HUhuhuhuhmmmmm…..well, the first fanfic is always exciting, I’ll start off by saying that. It’s your first milestone!! If you keep going and you find a liking for writing, then in the future you’ll turn back and be like ‘wow, I made it a long way’. As for introducing a character, lots of people like to do it in different ways. Keep in mind, there is never a right or wrong with writing and that’s why it’s so fantastic. You can do whatever the hell you want to.

For me personally, I kind of just merge my character into the story. When I begin a story, I want to make it feel like this world has already existed and I am only beginning in the middle of their lives. Usually when you begin writing, you’re not writing from the point where the character is born. If you’re doing a College!AU for example, then this character has been through a lot of shit already, they’ve lived like…18 years and they have friends and experiences and they’ve been through much schooling. I’ll use examples so it makes more sense:

“Taehyung!”

As his expression blanches and he tries to make a run for it, you’ve already caught up. The honey brown haired boy sulks, slumping his shoulders. “How did you find me?”

You ignore him, gleaming irises pinned on the tall man beside him. “Who is this?! You’re handsome!” Taehyung’s friend with the blonde locks widens his eyes at your bluntness. You bat your eyelashes back and forth, standing on the tips of your toes. “Can I have your number?”

“No.” Taehyung answers for his friend. “He’s not free.”

“You’re not single? Aww…” Your pout returns and your best friend shakes his head with his infamous boxy grin.

“Namjoon’s too busy to be dating. He’s a new engineering friend by the way, met him by the vending machines.” Tae turns to the boy beside him who’s watching the two of you bicker back and forth in amusement. “Namjoon, this is Y/N. She’s a high school friend-”

You interrupt, “best friend!”

“Ah, debatable.”

“Is not!” You stamp your feet. “Kim Taehyung that is not debatable!”

This is part of my fic ‘Love So Shallow’ and it’s the first time I introduce Taehyung. I don’t have any long descriptions about how they met, what Taehyung’s personality is like, what their character dynamic is. Instead, I choose to utilize dialogue. Always show, never tell - it’s the #1 writing tip. From the above small blurb, you learn that OC and Taehyung are both best friends. You learn that they have a playful relationship. They banter a lot and they’re close, high school friends. Later on in the story, they tell other people how they met.

When you’re introducing a character for the first time, there’s no need to go in-depth right away into explaining what the character’s backstory is, what their goals are, what their quirks and flaws are. That’s the good stuff you want to sprinkle throughout. Why would you want to dump all that good stuff all at once?

The way I introduce Taehyung is somewhat seamless and that’s due to the fact that Taehyung has been a part of OC’s life for a long time and they’re comfortable with each other. No need to have some kind of epic introduction where the wind blows through his hair and OC’s jaw drops. It makes it seem like OC sees Taehyung on a regular basis. It makes it seem like this world has begun long before the story has.

Here’s another example and instead of the characters already knowing each other, here’s where they’re meeting for the first time….

The moment you open the door, you’re met with a taller, blonde boy standing in front of you. He’s looking at you expectantly, suppressing a huge smile with lips upturned. Without a doubt, he’s cute; dashing to say the least and outwardly handsome, even a blind person would agree. But you were too tired to ogle him for long and you were already popping your head out the doorway, darting your eyes around. Where was the package?

“Hello.” The delivery man grins and you look back at him, wondering why he was wearing a fancy, black suit.

“Hi…” You grumble out with your sleepy voice. “Do you have something for me?”

“Have something for you…?” He tilts his head, a bit confused. “Oh! Should I have gotten you flowers?”

“What?”

“I’ll keep a mental note to get you flowers next time.” He beams at you. “What kind of flowers do you like?”

“Wait….” Your frown deepens and your temples begin pulsing. Hoseok giggles on the phone. “I’m going to have to call you back.” You mumble, quickly hanging up. The stranger blinks with a charming smile. “Who are you?”

“Oh!” He jumps. “I haven’t introduced myself at all, huh? I deeply apologize! My name is Kim Taehyung!”

I actually had a pretty hard time looking for this next example because I’ve written first-meetings in a lot of different ways. This is the first time Taehyung is introduced in ‘Rent-A-Boyfriend’. When I introduce him, I don’t introduce his backstory, his personality, his flaws, his abilities…it’s straight up from OC’s perspective and you can see how for the most part, she’s underwhelmed. At most, she thinks he’s handsome. Typically when I introduce a character, I just introduce their appearance…like their hair, eye colour, if they’re smiling or not, and what they’re wearing. Think about when you meet someone for the first time, you know nothing about them but they’re outer appearance so I do the same thing when I introduce a character.

I almost always describe appearance right away so that the reader can envision what the character actually looks like inside their minds. Makes it more immersive instead of the readers left wondering what the hell they look like.

It’s actually harder to introduce a character if they have no previous relationship with your main character because then it’s up to you to build that relationship.

Here’s a last example:

He glares down at you, travelling away from your patheticness. “Last one for today.” Lieutenant Min reads the name next to yours on the list. “Jeon Jungkook.”

A boy no more than your age steps up. He speaks no words, simply lifting the bag over his shoulder. It takes no effort for the male to walk the twenty meters. When you turn to him, frozen in your spot, he ignores your existence. Jeon Jungkook places the sand at the top of the stack of boxes you made. He jumps up the wall, fingers curled at the edges to lift himself up.

The gasps of others are faint to your ears.

The male who stands on the ledge, looks down at you. The rays of the beaming sun piercing your eyes. You can barely make out what you see. His irises are a dark hue of cinnamon, coal locks that sweep his forehead. Sweat drips down the side of his sculpted face. His lips are parted, soft inhales and exhales releasing between them as his chest heaves. The man with doe eyes gazes at you for less than half a second before he turns and carries the bag across the rope.

Then…he falls.

Almost too easily. As if on purpose.

No one seems to notice this as the new recruiters gives a sound of disappointment at his failure, others a sigh of relief that he didn’t manage. Jungkook groans on the ground and Lieutenant Min nods his head. “Alright. Off to your bunks. Tomorrow, we’re beginning hard training. Some of you especially need it.”

The Lieutenant disappears and Jungkook brushes past you. “Wai-” He ignores you completely.

Here’s a pretty different example. It’s part of ‘A Piece of the Moonlight’. It’s a much more impactful first introduction. There isn’t a lot revealed by dialogue. It’s description, but rather than describing Jungkook’s backstory or history, his personality or quirks, I describe his actions. I describe his appearance. I describe how OC feels about him. I kind of show how OC is impressed/in awe by Jungkook. Also, there’s some foreshadowing in there too.

It’s actually a pet-peeve of mine if a character is introduced with their entire backstory revealed. It just feels boring to me, like I’m being spoon-fed and it’s too much. An example:

When you open the door, Park Jimin is standing right there in front of you.

He has ebony locks that sweep along his forehead, rounded eyes that stare back into yours, pinks cheeks that look like they’ll burst any second now. He’s cute, especially with his oversized sweater hanging off of his frame, only for his jeans to be fitted around his legs, showing his hobby of going to the gym.

But the cuteness is only part of the outer appearance. You know he’s considerate, kind, but he is also no-nonsense and strict. Jimin is stubborn to a fault and worse of all, he has a bad-temper. It’s not like you ever get to witness the temper first-hand, but his fists are almost always bruised. It hurts to his face puffy and purple, for his skin to bloom in ugly shades of blue.

But that doesn’t stop the fact that he’s your best friend.

Park Jimin is your best friend ever since you were born. You’ve been through thick and thin, through all the highs and lows. You can remember when you were ten years old at the playground, crying because of some bullies, but he swooped in and saved the day. You can remember being sixteen and feeling conscious about your body, but he told you that you looked beautiful no matter what. You remember the sleepovers, sharing beds, giggles, laughter, every childhood memory, sad or happy.

Maybe it’s fate that you were supposed to be together. After all, his parents were friends with your parents. They were childhood friends, grew up together, went to the same college, even settled down in homes next to each other. Maybe you were always supposed to be with Jimin.

And maybe you were always meant to be in love with him.

Okay, so this blurb isn’t bad per-say, but eh. It could be better. I would do this kind of writing if it was a short story. If I wanted to make it longer, more immersive, I would’ve used dialogue by the second paragraph. And I would never do this much explaining. I mean…I just threw a lot of facts at the readers.

New character is Park Jimin.

Description of his appearance.

Description of his personality + his flaws.

Jimin gets into a lot of fights.

Main character is best friends with him.

They’re childhood friends and have been through a lot of shit together.

Main character’s parents are best-friends with Jimin’s parents.

They live beside each other.

Main character is in love with him.

Like…that’s a lot of shit. I could’ve used dialogue instead and established their relationship more naturally that way. All that’s actually fucking happened in this blurb is that OC opened the door. LOL I could’ve written a scene where both families had dinner together to establish parents are best friends. I could hint their past throughout the rest of the story. I could’ve shown his temper in a lot of creative ways, etc, etc.

There’s a lot of different ways to introduce a character and you can do it however you want. However it fits into your story. If the character is a main character or not. If the character isn’t important, I might write one or two paragraphs about their role and how they met the main character.

What I recommend is reading and finding out what you like as a reader and then do that. If you like it when you know some backstory, then write some backstory! If you don’t like it then don’t do it! Look at your story from the perspective of a reader - it helps a lot.

You can do whatever you want. Brief. Long. Descriptive. Detailed. Quick.

There is no wrong. There is no right.

To Summarize:

Show, don’t tell.

Use dialogue to your advantage.

Description is for appearance or action only.

No need to delve into backstory or character personality/flaws.

Do what feels right.

Ignore the rest of this and do what the fuck you want

For more shitty writing advice: click here. or https://jimlingss.tumblr.com/tagged/writing-advice

#this got REALLY out of hand #i'm sorry #I just was in a rambling mood #hope this helps #goddamn I didn't mean for this to be so long #I'm sorry #the short answer is do whatever you want #Jimlings #Anonymous #writing advice

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purrincess-chat · 5 years

Note

4,19,21,10?

4. Do I have any NOTPs? If so are they a popular otp?

So as much as I don't care for a certain ship between a certain pigtailed girl and another certain guitarist, they aren't actually a NOTP for me surprisingly. Notps to me are something that I will never ever write because I don't like it and cannot convince myself to like it even if I tried. Cause I have a lot of ideas for ways to make the ship which shall not be named better cause I think it's all in the set up and involves actually giving said guitarist a personality outside of music. My actual NOTPs are pretty universal I think? Like very rarely do I see people who ship them. One is Ch//lo//brina, another is Ch//lo//drien and the last one is Ch//loe//kim. Then obviously stuff like child/adult ships or like kwami/holder ships. I just cannot ship these things because of the way canon has portrayed them or just because what the fuck? I just don't think that they could be healthy.

19. One thing I hate most about this fandom?

So I have debated making a post about it and maybe I still will one day, but I hate how some toxic bnfs run everything. And I won't name any names or be more specific than that, but it's just very isolating when people decide that they don't like you and then you kind of get banned from participating in a lot of fandom stuff because they are in charge of everything. It's why I started making my own events. And truthfully I don't hold a lot of ill will for these people cause I'm just tired. I'm tired of discourse and being stressed about about stupid fictional people that don't matter in the long run. That's why I haven't ever blocked anyone from participating in my events because ya know if those people wanted to participate in an event I run then I'm not gonna gatekeep. Fandom should be fun. That's all I've ever wanted to do in fandom. Have fun.

Another thing I hate is how people completely twist the narrative of canon and get like completely wrong ideas. Like how people think that Chat gets treated unfairly or that Marinette is just as bad as Chloe. Like can we all just watch the show with our eyes open? I know the writing isn't great, but damn.

21. Thoughts on crack ships?

I mean, did I write a fic about Markov and Alix's watch hologram getting married? 😂 I'll let you infer from that what you will.

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

Can I just circle all of s2?

For a number of reasons. Namely that I don't think that some of these things were as thought out as they think they are. In considering that this is a kids show that is meant to have a message or a moral at the end of the day, if you break apart what the situation was vs what the resolution in the end is you get mixed signals. And fandom is cold hard proof of that. It isnt wrong per se to have something open to interpretation but particularly if you are trying to convey a certain message and your audience gets the opposite, you've done something wrong.

In particular, I haven't cared for how Chloe only ever apologizes in private and also to the wrong people. I don't care for the sympathy route with Gabriel or Nathalie being in love with him. Also how did Gabriel know that LB and CN were onto him when the book went missing? How could they have possibly been onto him from his perspective?? I also don't care for how they've set up the love rivals. I wish that they would talk more about the origins of the miraculous and what the fuck happened with master Fu. I wish that they wouldn't have fucking kept Lila locked in her house for several months for reasons that they still didn't really explain? She is hiding because she hates Ladybug? Okay???? God just so many things I could go on and on about, but that's what fix it fic is for, and boy do I have plans.

#miraculous ladybug #ml spoilers #cat replies #ml salt #ask game

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neonlights92 · 6 years

Text

MONSTER: Chapter II

You live in a world dominated by monsters. Monsters who make it their life’s work to control everything around them. When you’re forced to marry Kim Taehyung - the indecipherable son of the leader of Bangtan, Seoul’s most feared gang - you are at first afraid of him. But as you learn what it means to be Taehyung’s wife you find yourself inexplicably drawn to him.

Warnings: sex, language and themes of violence.

A/N: Hey guys! So here’s the second chapter to Monster. I was also thinking of maybe writing either a one shot or a shorter fic, with a reader romance, on one of the other BTS characters from this story. Let me know if that’s something you guys would be interested in reading, and also which character’s perspective you would want to see it from. Also I am totally open to requests and asks so send me those as well! Finally, if anyone could help me in terms of how to sort out a masterlist, and how to link this chapter on chapter one that would be greatly appreciated (I am new to Tumblr lol!) Thank you all and I hope you enjoy!

Thank you to @aestheticallydestruction for the moodboard!

–

Taehyung woke you up that morning before the sun had even risen. You had barely been able to sleep, drifting in and out of consciousness and dreaming about the night before.

“We need to get up before they come to collect the sheets.” You had forgotten all about the sheet inspection.

“Did we check if there was blood?” Taehyung shrugged, “If there isn’t, I’ll make some.” Your blood ran cold.

“Not like that,” His eyes hardened, “I’m not going to hurt you Y/N.”

You nodded, your eyes still heavy with sleep. Taehyung’s gaze travelled the length of your body, landing quite inconspicuously on your thighs. He sucked in a breath.

“We need to get up and prepare things.”

You blushed at his eye contact and rolled out of bed, standing quickly and using the dresser to steady yourself. When you turned around Taehyung was doing the same, and you took the brief moment to admire his muscled back. He was so beautiful.

Then your eyes lowered to the sheets and you cringed. There was definitely blood.

“I will get our maid, Mi Na, to come and hang the sheets up so the women can preen over it.” He shook his head, “I tried to convince my mother out of it, but she insisted. I can’t say no to that woman.”

You nodded and walked into the bathroom, wanting to wash the events of last night off of your skin. It wasn’t that you hadn’t enjoyed yourself. In fact, you were surprised with how much you had enjoyed yourself. It was that afterwards, after being inside you, and touching you in places nobody has ever touched you before, Taehyung was so cold and calculating. It reminded you that he was right when he’d promised you a loveless marriage.

You ran the shower and pulled off your nightgown, stepping under the spray of water and allowing the warmth to relax your muscles. Then you heard the bathroom door creak open. You assumed it was Taehyung’s maid, so continued lathering yourself with soap. But then, the shower screen pulled back and you turned quickly, shocked to find Taehyung himself standing in front of you, stark naked.

He smirked, “Can I come in?”

You didn’t know what to say. You paused.

But before you could even answer him, he had stepped inside, pulling the screen shut behind him. His hands rested on either side of your head, his eyes focused on your naked body. He ran a finger down the length of your cheek and sighed deeply. His fingers tangled in your wet hair, pulling you closer towards him.

“Why are you upset with me, Y/N?”

You coughed uncomfortably. Was he really going to make you answer this, naked and wet?

“I’m not upset with you.” He grinned, “Are you forgetting who you’re talking to, jagi? Please don’t take me for a fool.”

He pressed your naked chests together and his lips ghosted over your own. He pressed a gentle, lingering kiss to the side of your mouth, “Now I’m not going to ask a third time, Y/N.” He dragged his nose down your neck, stopping at your clavicle to suck on the skin there, “Why are you upset with me?”

You felt yourself trembling, and it wasn’t because of fear. Your knees buckled. You tried to pull away from him but he was too strong.

“You had sex with me last night. You took my virginity. And then you acted as though I was a stranger. It might not have been your first time, Taehyung, but it was mine. I felt like a whore.” The words tumbled out of you quickly and you snapped your mouth shut as it all escaped.

He paused his actions. Then he pulled away a little, eyes searching your own.

“You are not a whore,” He said decidedly, “You are my wife.” “But you treated me like one.” “That was never my intention.” You knew that this was the closest to an apology you were going to get. And because you were weak and pathetic, and a tiny part of you hoped that maybe there was a possibility of Taehyung developing real feelings for you, you nodded.

“Alright. Please don’t let it happen again.”

He quirked a brow, “Are you giving me orders Y/N?”

Your heart caught in your chest. He didn’t look angry, only curious. You licked your bottom lip and looked away from him, trying to calm the heat coursing through your body.

“I’m asking you to treat me as your wife.” The words were quiet and gentle.

“I will never be a normal man, Y/N. I will never treat you as other husbands treat their wives.” His face hardened, “The moment you accept that, is the moment we can both be happier.” And then, he lowered his head to your own and pressed his hot mouth against yours. You felt your body bend to his every movement. He was exquisite. His strong hands came up to cup yours breasts and you arched into his palm, feeding the need that was growing inside of you.

“Are you still sore from last night?” He murmured against your collarbone. You shook your head even though there was still a faint twinge between your legs. You couldn’t deny how much you enjoyed Taehyung’s closeness.

He pulled you up into his arms, and you wrapped your legs around his waist. Suddenly he was nudging your entrance and you gasped. He pushed into your and you tensed for a moment. It still hurt, but less so than last night.

“Is this okay?”

Just like last night, Taehyung’s concern for your well being confused you. He’d warned you how evil and nasty he was, and yet he seemed to care whether you were enjoying yourself.

You nodded, sighing against his cheeks, “This is more than okay.”

He grunted, pressing his nose into your collarbone, and pressing firm kisses to the skin there. The wall was cold against your back but the truth was you didn’t care. Taehyung’s touch awakened something inside you you’d never thought you possessed. He thrilled you.

“Do you feel like my wife now, Y/N?” His breath warmed your body. He was so handsome.

You nodded firmly, gasping when he brought a hand up to caress your breasts almost lovingly.

You knew you weren’t going to have an orgasm this way, so when Taehyung finished inside you you weren’t disappointed. But when he placed you on your feet, his hands travelled to the space between your legs. His eyes were so dark and hungry and you could feel your heart pumping in your ears.

He pressed his fingers against you gently, and you almost cried at the contact. You had wanted this more than you’d been aware of.

“Please. Don’t stop,” You gasped the words out, pulling him closer towards you.

He smirked, “I won’t.”

When you fell apart, he pressed a kiss against your mouth and stepped away from you. He quirked an eyebrow.

“There is still shampoo in your hair.”

The comment caused a giggle to bubble out of your mouth.

He didn’t laugh, but there was humour on his face. Rolling his eyes, he pulled you towards him before rubbing the shampoo into your hair, “Remember who you are Y/N. You are a Kim now.”

You sighed heavily and relaxed into his touch.

“I will not always be kind. But I will always respect you. And it takes a lot to earn my respect.”

You didn’t mention the fact that all you’d done to earn his respect was follow the wishes of your parents and marry him without complaint. Instead you nodded.

Then his fingers left your hair and the shower door opened as he disappeared back into the bedroom. You sighed, leaning your head back against the cool tiles of the shower.

He was so confusing.

You really didn’t understand him. Not that you knew much about men in general, but the way he had been so kind and thoughtful during sex both last night and this morning puzzled you. He had promised you that he would never love you - but the way he kissed you was so warm you were scared that perhaps you would fall in love with him regardless.

After collecting your thoughts and climbing out of the shower, your wrapped a towel around your head and slipped on one of the plush, fluffy bathrobes. When you stepped through into the bedroom, you cringed at the sight of Mi Na hanging up the bed sheets from last night.

She gave you a sympathetic smile, “I’ve prepared you breakfast in the front room. You don’t have to stand here when they come to inspect.”

You had a feeling this wasn’t the first time Mi Na had done this.

You nodded before taking off the robe and slipping on a simple dress, letting your hair cascade down your shoulders and brushing it a few times to get rid of any tangles. You blushed at the thought of last night’s activities being the reason for said tangles.

“Y/N.”

You turned and Taehyung was watching you carefully from the doorway of your bedroom. He had changed into a shirt and black slacks, and you had to force yourself not to swoon at the sight of him. He was so beautiful.

“My family will be here soon.” His eyes roved your features carefully, “Do you want to come and join me in the front room for breakfast so we can skip the…” His eyes gestured towards the bloody sheet, “festivities.”

You nodded and stood, pushing your hair away from your face and slipping on a pair of comfy sandals. Taehyung watched you carefully when you strode towards him.

“I like that colour on you,” He commented casually, as you followed him down the winding hallway of your new home.

Your heart shook. The dress you were wearing was a royal blue, and you had to admit, you were a fan of the shade as well. You breathed out shakily.

“Thank you.” You answered quietly.

So. Confusing.

The table had been set up for the two of you with various different food items and your eyes automatically latched onto the pot of coffee.

“I need caffeine,” You grumbled, only then realising how tired you actually were.

“You had a long night,” He answered and you blushed hotly at the insinuation behind his tone. You were almost embarrassed at how needy you had been for his touch. You couldn’t deny that he thrilled you.

“Yes,” You cleared your throat awkwardly, “I did.”

You took a seat on the table, and he sat beside you, eyes focused on you carefully. When you gave him a questioning glance, he shrugged.

“You’re my wife.” He seemed to roll the word over his tongue, “I have always known we would marry. But it’s strange now that it’s happened. Very strange indeed.”

He didn’t seem disappointed, only thoughtful. You wondered if perhaps Taehyung would prefer an existence without being tied down to anyone. That maybe he would enjoy sleeping with the countless women that threw themselves at his feet, rather than the one woman he hadn’t had a choice in being with.

The thought alone sent a barrage of insecurity through you.

“I always knew I’d be a young bride,” You answered carefully, “But I’m barely an adult. I don’t really know how to be somebody’s wife.” The sentiment was awfully vulnerable. You were afraid that perhaps Taehyung would scold you for it.

But he didn’t. Instead he sighed, “Don’t worry Y/N. You will learn.”

The rest of your meal was spent in silence. Taehyung had turned his attention over to the newspaper in front of him and you didn’t want to be bothersome. So you bit your tongue, even though you had a hundred different questions you wanted to ask him.

Mi Na appeared in the front room just as you were finishing up the last of your breakfast. She bowed graciously at the two of you.

“They’ve inspected the sheets and are happy with the result,” You cringed at what she’d said. Perhaps it was silly of you to care so much over what had just happened, but the thought of a group of women you barely knew, discussing the blood you had shed on your wedding night really rubbed you the wrong way, “How would you like to proceed, sir?”

Taehyung set the newspaper down and shook his head, threading a hand through his thick hair, “Tell them we are busy today. I am not in the mood for my mother’s interrogation.”

You blushed again. She would probably ask him what kind of lover you were.

“Alright,” Mi Na turned and you heard the sound of her footsteps clipping down the hallway. After a moment you turned to Taehyung.

“What are we going to do today?”

Your question seemed to surprise him. He gave you a look.

“I am busy with work,” He took a sip from his mug of coffee, “You are free to do as you wish as long as it’s inside this house. I haven’t ironed out the last details of who I will appoint as your personal bodyguard just yet.”

You nodded. It was inescapable really. As the wife to the son of Bangtan’s leader, there was no way you would ever be allowed to spend time in public without armed security. You were aware of the fact that it didn’t matter whether people knew of Taehyung’s indifference towards you or not. You now had a target at the back of your head, and if someone hurt you, Taehyung would have to respond with extreme violence out of self preservation, more than anything else.

He couldn’t let anybody touch what was his.

You shivered. The thought of being his should have terrified you but you knew that’s not how you felt. Instead your insides quivered at the thought. That you belonged to him.

You hated yourself for feeling this way.

He had made it abundantly clear that he would never give you what you really wanted. And yet the glimpses of warmth you saw, and the way his hands touched your body drove you crazy.

“Alright. Well. Have a good day at work.” You said abruptly, standing up and making your way out of the front room. You knew the words were a little brisk. Perhaps your attitude would anger Taehyung.

Surprisingly, you weren’t afraid of him.

Of course, you knew what he was capable of. Had heard the stories. He got his nickname V from the very interesting signature he left behind on all his victims. A branded V across their chests.

You shuddered at the thought.

You had been surrounded by monsters your whole life. And now you were going to spend the rest of your life in one of their beds. You knew you should hate Taehyung, but you couldn’t bring yourself to feel that way about him.

Because deep down, in the dark recesses of your heart, you wished that maybe, just maybe, you could learn to love each other.

–

It had been a week since you had married Taehyung. He spent most of his time working, and you barely got to see him. He hadn’t touched you in a week, and even though it might be selfish on your part, you were angry with him for ignoring you.

When he came home after a long day of work, he usually just rolled into bed and fell straight asleep. You were lonely, spending most of your time gardening or helping Mi Na around the house. You wanted some company, even if that company was purely sexual gratification.

Still, you got used to the routine of seeing him in the morning for breakfast, and at night just before bed. You got used to his distance. To the fact that he barely spared you a glance when he crawled into bed and fell asleep almost instantly.

You even got used to the smell of alcohol and blood. You got used to it all. Because this was what the rest of your life was going to entail. You had grown up in this kind of environment, and even though it was a hard pill to swallow, you had accepted your reality a long time ago.

So it surprised you when Taehyung came home early one night, and he was wearing a beautiful black tuxedo. He tugged his head to one side at the sight of you in your pajamas.

Then he groaned.

“Did I forget to tell you about tonight?”

You watched him carefully, “Tonight?” “The charity gala.” He groaned, “I did forget. Damn. It starts in an hour. You were supposed to come as my wife. Our first public appearance.”

You rolled your eyes, “Kind of an important thing to forget.”

His eyes gazed at you hotly, “I know.” He didn’t apologise and you didn’t expect him to.

“Well. Let me get ready then,” You answered, standing and making your way over to your walk in wardrobe. You would never admit it to him, but you were incredibly excited. After all, you had spent all week alone, at home. The thought of a night out made you very happy indeed.

“Will you be ready in time?” He asked, entering the wardrobe behind you, “I don’t want to be -” He stopped abruptly as he realised you had dropped your nightgown and were standing in the middle of the closet in just a set of lacy underwear.

“Shit,” He growled, his eyes grazing your skin hotly.

You blushed deeply and went to pick the nightgown up, not having expected him to follow you. You began to struggle back into the piece of clothing before Taehyung came to stand beside you. He stilled your hands.

“I forgot what you look like half naked,” He whispered into your ear when you dropped the nightgown back onto the floor, “Damn it. I want to fuck you but we don’t have time.”

You shivered at his words. He wrapped his arms around your waist tightly and pressed warm kisses to the skin of your collarbone.

You couldn’t ignore the warmth that started in the pit of your stomach and snaked all the way up to the top of your head.

After what felt like an eternity he pulled away from you and cleared his throat. You noticed his eyes simmered back to a neutral black, and you bit your bottom lip. He was so good at hiding what he was really feeling.

“I’ll wait for you in the car. I need to cool off. Wear that underwear under your dress.”

And then he stalked away, leaving you burning. You were scared of the effect he had on you when your hands started shaking almost uncontrollably.

Finally, after calming yourself down, you picked out a floor length deep blue gown - you tried to ignore the fact that you had chosen that dress because he had complimented you the last time you had worn that colour - and put your hair up into a quick updo not bothering too much with makeup, and instead trying to get yourself together as soon as possible. With a final coat of lipstick, you deemed yourself ready and slipped on a pair of high heels. You were buzzing with excitement. And not just from the thought of the gala, but also from Taehyung’s reaction to seeing you in your underwear.

You missed his touch. He had brought you alive under his nimble hands, and you wanted to feel that way again.

When you reached the white mercedes parked on the curb, you were surprised to see Taehyung hadn’t actually gotten into the car. Instead he waited outside, leaning against the side door.

When he saw you, his eyes raked your body almost dangerously.

“Here.” He said, opening the passenger door and helping you climb in.

He was intoxicating. When you settled into your seat and he climbed into the driver’s seat, you were surprised.

You cleared your throat, “You’re going to drive?”

“I always drive myself.” He said dryly. When you gave him a questioning look he shrugged, “I don’t trust anyone else with my life like that.”

You had to admit, it made sense.

Taehyung’s life was far more valuable than most peoples in Bangtan. After his father, he was one of the most powerful men in Seoul. It made sense that he protected himself the way he did.

“I need to tell you, Y/N. There are going to be a lot of jealous women there tonight,” He said the words without a hint of arrogance. He was just being matter of fact, “I want you to ignore them. They are only pissed off because their daddies money couldn’t buy them the son of the godfather. Remember who’s wife you are, now.”

You nodded resolutely. You were determined to show Taehyung that you could be the kind of wife that would make him proud.

It was silly really. But you knew that you wanted this relationship to evolve into something he’d told you wouldn’t happen.

Taehyung was clearly not an emotional man. He had been raised to be calculated and commanding. He didn’t know what it was to love someone the way you longed to be loved.

You shook your head and tried to steer your mind away from those dangerous thoughts.

“What kind of event is it?”

“It is a gala ball held by one of associates, Park Jimin. There will be several auctions to raise money for a charity Jimin sponsors, called Street. It helps get homeless children funding for housing and education.”

You nodded. Park Jimin was a very well respected member of Bangtan. Jimin often held events that brought together several different kinds of powerful people in Seoul and even the rest of Korea. Jimin was not born into Bangtan like you and Taehyung had been, but he was treated the same as everyone else.

He had worked hard to achieve his status as one of the more powerful figures in your world, and he was also one of Taehyung’s closest friends.

It was well known that before Jimin had joined Bangtan he himself had been homeless. Your heart softened at the fact that his chosen charity was one that helped disadvantaged kids; just like he’d once been.

The car slowed to a stop outside the venue. It was being held in one of the most expensive hotels in Seoul and the sight of paparazzi and the media clamouring to get a word from the guests attending made you nervous.

“Don’t worry.” Taehyung told you softly, “Just hold my hand and smile. I’ll do all the talking.”

“Okay.” You answered, voice hoarse.

When the door opened and you both climbed out, a confident smile appeared on Taehyung’s face. He wrapped an arm around your waist and your heart fluttered at the action. You knew he was probably only doing it for appearances, but your body immediately melted into his touch.

Taehyung was a master chameleon. He was able to shift into whatever the situation needed of him. Part of you was afraid of that ability, but a much larger part was actually very impressed.

Taehyung was going to make a very good leader one day.

“Taehyung! Is this your beautiful new wife?” A reporter asked and your husband nodded.

“This is Y/N. And you’re right. She is absolutely beautiful,” He shot you a smile that was warm but didn’t quite reach his eyes.

How much of what he was saying was genuine and how much was just for the cameras?

Still. Your body flushed at the compliment.

A few other reporters asked him questions and after awhile he led you inside the venue. It was just as spectacular on the inside as it was outside.

Low hanging chandeliers and beautiful marble flooring. Everything was exquisite.

“You’re doing well.” Taehyung told you, an unreadable expression on his face.

You nodded, “I just had to stand there and smile. It’s you who truly shines.”

He cocked his head at your words, “Shines? I wouldn’t go that far,” He scoffed and you shrugged.

“I think you know exactly what to say at just the right time. You’re a gifted speaker.”

He seemed genuinely taken aback by the compliment. You waited for him to rebuff you but as always he surprised you.

“Well. Thank you.”

There was a moment of silence that was somewhere between uncomfortable and comfortable, before you reached the ballroom where the gala was being held.

“Remember what I said Y/N. Just be gracious and smile, no matter what they say.”

You felt almost as though you were walking into a lion’s den but nonetheless you tried to appear confident. You were Kim Taehyung’s wife now and to the people in this room that meant something.

The first person to approach you both was Yuri, of course, and you held your breath as she stalked your way. She was dressed impeccably well, in a satin champagne coloured dress that draped her figure perfectly. You felt a stab of jealousy but tried to remind yourself of what Taehyung had told you.

Still. Her flawless body and beautiful face did nothing to calm your insecurity.

“Taehyung, Y/N.” She gave you both a kiss on each cheek, “The wedding was beautiful. I almost cried.”

Yeah because the man of your dreams married someone else, you thought to yourself. You didn’t say that out loud and instead just smiled in what you hoped looked like a graceful manner.

“Thank you.”

“Are you going to bid on me?” She turned her gaze to Taehyung and you frowned.

“What?” The word escaped your mouth before you could even properly process what she’d said.

“The auction,” She explained eyes flitting over to you momentarily, “Part of it is a date auction. Some of the most beautiful bachelorettes were asked to sign up and the men in the audience bid to win a date with us.” She turned her attention fully on you, “Don’t worry Y/N. I’m sure Jimin didn’t ask you to help because you’re married, not because you’re not beautiful enough.”

Her words stung. She knew exactly what she was doing, and the truth was your feelings were hurt.

It shouldn’t matter what somebody like her thinks, but somehow it did.

“Right.” You choked out, masking your pain with a forced smile, “I’m going to go get a drink. It was nice to see you Yuri.”

You pulled away from Taehyung’s grip but were surprised when his fingers only tightened around your wrist. He pulled you back, his hand lacing with your own almost naturally.

“Apologise to my wife, Yuri.” His words were dark and you turned to look at him sharply. He looked as collected as he always did, but you noticed a muscle in his jaw ticking away angrily.

Your chest tightened.

“Excuse me?” Yuri looked flabbergasted. She quirked a dark brow, “I didn’t say anything rude.”

“You know damn well what you were trying to insinuate.” His voice was level but you couldn’t tear your gaze away from the pulsing muscle, “Now apologise to Y/N and stop embarrassing yourself. I am married to another woman, you cannot keep throwing yourself on me like a bitch on heat.”

Your stomach boiled. The anger behind his words coupled with the way his jaw was clenched made your body thrum to life. It was difficult to admit but Taehyung’s fury only fuelled your attraction towards him.

Yuri seemed genuinely upset by his words. You wished you could feel sorry for her, but it was her own fault.

“I’m sorry.” She grumbled, “It won’t happen again.”

And then she whipped away from us quickly and walked into the crowd of people littered around the room.

There was a brief beat of silence. And then Taehyung turned to give you a sympathetic smile.

Your heart turned over in your chest at the rare look of sincerity on his face.

“I’m sorry. She is a fucking idiot. Don’t listen to a single thing she says.”

The words caught in your throat. You didn’t know how to respond.

“Seriously Y/N. Jimin would never ask you to take part in the auction because you’re my wife. I would never allow it.”

The show of possessiveness should have angered you but it only turned you towards him more.

“I can assure you you’re more beautiful than any of the girls that will be on stage later on tonight. Hell, any of the girls here tonight. Truly.”

The compliment melted over you like butter on a hot summer’s day.

Your heart thumped against your chest. Was this all it took for you to forget about the kind of monster Taehyung was?

A few words of kindness and an act of… possessiveness?

You were scared to know the answer so you coughed loudly and nodded.

“Thank you for defending me.”

“Of course. You’re my wife now. I swore to protect you. Even from skinny, jealous bitches.”

The comment made a genuine laugh bubble out of your lips. He didn’t laugh with you but his eyes danced with mirth. He looked more attractive to you then than he had in the week since you married him.

It was dangerous, you knew.

But you really could see yourself falling in love with the man in front of you.

–

The auction started with the selling of paintings. You watched as people bid millions of won on pieces of extraordinary art.

You were sat on a table with Taehyung and five of his closest friends. Jimin, the other member of their close inner circle, was of course hosting the event, so he spent his time on stage, entertaining the crowd.

And entertain he did.

You were shocked at how genuinely funny and charming he was. Though Jimin was close to your father, the truth was that you didn’t know much about him all.

Your father was protective and hadn’t allowed you to hang out with older boys and Jimin was older than even Taehyung.

The same went with the rest of the men sitting around your table. They were all well into their late twenties, at least.

They all knew who you were of course. Your father might not be as notorious as Taehyung’s but he had also built a name for himself in Bangtan.

“This is so mind numbingly boring.” The youngest of them all - Jeon Jungkook - shook his head, “I know we came to support Jimin but really where are the strippers?”

Jungkook’s was one of Bangtan’s shadow, just like his father. He made sure things happened quickly and quietly. You weren’t exactly sure what a lot of his job entailed, but you were aware that he was the man to go to if you wanted something to disappear.

He was known for a swiftness that was practically inhuman, and for a quick fist that had gotten him the nickname lightning.

“Yah. Come on Kookie be supportive,” This comment came from Kim Seokjin. He shook his head, “Sometimes I wonder how we trust you with so much. You act like such a kid.”

Seokjin - or Jin as he preferred - was the oldest out of all of Taehyung’s circle of trusted associates. He, like Jimin, had not been born into Bangtan. Instead he had been recruited.

He was what my father liked to call public relations. Damage control. Like Jimin he dealt with the outside world. More specifically, the corrupt police and politicians who allowed Jin to fill their pockets in exchange for favours and turned blind eyes.

Jin was known for having never shot a gun and having never killed a man. Taehyung’s father himself had brought Jin into Bangtan, and it was the one condition Jin had made. He didn’t want blood on his hands.

And because he was so good at his job, Taehyung’s dad had agreed to it.

“He’s only in a bad mood because he hasn’t been laid in a while. Not all of us have beautiful wives waiting for us at the end of a long day at work,” It was Min Yoongi who said this. He was the most enigmatic of all of Taehyung’s friends. He was equally as handsome as the rest of them, but in a very different way. His skin was paler than anything you’d ever seen, and his eyes scanned the room in a way that was both casual and concise.

Yoongi gathered Intel. He was smart and capable, and one of Bangtan’s finest hackers. He was whip smart, and quiet, the kind of person who observed the world through a startlingly clear lens.

Yoongi’s family were low hanging members of Bangtan - outsiders who never truly understood what it meant to be part of the ‘organisation’ - but Yoongi had worked incredibly hard to cultivate a name for himself within Bangtan, and had quickly because one of Taehyung’s closest advisors.

“Which reminds me,” Yoongi continued, “Where is that beautiful wife of yours tonight, Jin?”

Jin rolled his eyes at his friend’s words, “She doesn’t want to risk being in public when the baby’s due so soon. Which is great for me, because it means I get a break from her pregnancy hormones.”

Yoongi snickered at that and sighed, “That’s why I’m never getting married.”

“We all know you’re never getting married because nobody would be able to put up with you, Yoongi.” Kim Namjoon smiled at his friend dryly.

Namjoon was the only member sat on the table that you knew relatively well. His father was a boss, just like your own, and he had spent a lot of time in your house in the years since you were born. Namjoon’s dad was incredibly good at dealing with money, and it seemed like Namjoon had inherited that trait as well.

Of course, the two of you had never been close, but you had vacationed together several times over the years, and even spent some one on one time together. He was kind and friendly, but very quiet.

He was also incredibly intelligent. Probably the smartest person Bangtan had ever had.

“That too,” Yoongi laughed and shrugged his shoulders.

Because of Yoongi’s parents low status within Bangtan, it was very probable that he would never be arranged a marriage. Still, you knew that it was inevitable for him to marry at some point. All men in Bangtan were expected to produce heirs, and it was an unforgivable crime not to do so.

“I used to say the same as you Yoongi, and look at me now.” The last of Taehyung’s friends - Jung Hoseok - smiled widely, “I am totally whipped for my wife.”

Jung Hoseok seemed to be the most relaxed out of all six men sitting at the table. Which surprised you, considering that his job was the most stressful, second only to Taehyung. He was one of the heads of security and organised and led many of the raids that ensured Bangtan consistently secured its position as the most vicious crime syndicate in Seoul.

You didn’t know much about Hoseok, but you knew that the bright smile and high cheekbones masked a much darker history. He had also been recruited by Taehyung’s father and was once a general in the Korean army. From the stories you’d heard, it seemed Hoseok had enjoyed the bloodshed and killing a little too much, and had been dishonourably discharged from his duties.

That was how Bangtan found him, and that was what Bangtan used him for: bloodshed.

“What about you, V? Are you whipped for Y/N?” Jungkook’s comment was playful but your cheeks flushed anyway.

Taehyung rolled his eyes, “Jungkook. You’re a fucking moron.”

Jungkook seemed unphased by his friend’s words and turned to face you, “What do you think Y/N? Do you think he’s whipped?”

You laughed uncomfortably at Jungkook’s comments, “No he’s definitely not whipped.” You were embarrassed by the insinuation. You were well aware that Taehyung would never feel that way about you.

A hand landed on your knee underneath the table. You turned to the side sharply. Taehyung wasn’t looking at you, but his hand was tight on your skin.

The show of - of what? Possessiveness? - caused a current of electricity to buzz through you.

“Ah well. What did I expect from our elusive leader?” Jungkook sent you a smile and you nodded, trying to ignore Taehyung’s hold on you as best you could.

You knew the effect his touch had you was borderline crazy, but you couldn’t control the way your body reacted to him. His fingers scorched through your dress. What was wrong with you?

His hand didn’t move from your knee, and after a while you got used to it. You weren’t sure what exactly Taehyung was trying to prove to you? That you were his? You had known that you belonged to him the moment he had slipped his ring onto your finger.

As soon as the date auction began, Taehyung’s hand moved from your knee to your hand and he pulled you up to stand next to him. You felt five pairs of eyes on you.

“We’re going home. Y/N isn’t feeling well.” Taehyung’s voice was husky and low and your heart thundered against your chest.

That wasn’t true of course - you felt perfectly fine. But something inside Taehyung seemed to have snapped.

“Right.” Jin gave you both a knowing look, “See you tomorrow, boss.” He smirked at you and you blushed hotly, lowering your head to avoid their smug glances.

You grabbed your coat and bag, trying to calm your shaking hands. You had to at least try to appear collected. Taehyung wrapped an arm around your waist as he said goodbye to the five men sat around your table before leading you towards a back entrance.

When he was sure nobody could hear him, he turned to you with a stoney look. Was he angry at you?

“I’ve been trying all night to forget what you looked like in that underwear,” He almost groaned, “And when you said the word whipped I just lost it. I need you under me, as soon as possible.”

His words thrilled you. You nodded, mutely, allowing him to lead you over to the car and help you inside.

The ride back to your home was pulled taut with sexual tension. Occasionally Taehyung’s hands would land on your knee again, and eventually he had pulled the hem of your dress up to expose the tops of your thighs.

Your heart was beating a mile a minute, and you were sure you were going to faint. You didn’t really understand Taehyung, or your feelings towards him. But what you did know was that his touch made you feel things you’d never even thought possible.

As soon as you stepped through the threshold of your bedroom, Taehyung turned to you and his eyes were darker than you’d ever seen them before. This seemed to be the only kind of vulnerability Taehyung was willing to show you. The fact that he wanted you.

That thought alone caused a shiver to run up the length of your spine.

“Take off your dress.”

You blushed at the authority behind his words.

Your hands came shakily to the side of your dress, where the zip was, and Taehyung watched you very carefully, “Slowly. I want you to do it slowly.”

You followed his instructions, moving the fabric down your body as slowly as you possibly could, trying to keep eye contact with the beautiful man standing in front of you. When the dress pooled at your feet you blushed hotly.

Taehyung stepped towards you, his eyes hungry.

“Kiss me.” He told you firmly.

You nodded and reached up to him, pressing your lips against his own and letting him coax your mouth and body into relaxation. You knew the way your heart hummed to life at his touch was dangerous, and you tried to ignore the way your head was dizzy from his closeness.

“I spent all night thinking about being inside you. About how good you feel wrapped around me,” His words only served to turn you on more, “You’re so fucking beautiful. Do you know that?”

You didn’t reply, instead allowing him to lead you over to your king sized bed, and letting his body drape over yours comfortably.

You watched as he took off his shirt and trousers leaving both of you in just your underwear. You blushed at the sight of him topless still not used to it, and he groaned when you bit your bottom lip.

“You’re so innocent,” He whispered, running a finger across your mouth, “It’s so fucking hot.”

You arched your back as he kissed your neck, leaving a burning trail where his lips once were. He unhooked your bra and took a nipple into his mouth and you moaned at the foreign but welcome sensation.

He travelled down your body and when he reached your panties he looked up at your darkly. You knew he was asking what he always did: is this okay? So you nodded and he smirked taking your panties off in one swift motion.

You wanted him to touch you between your legs but you were too embarrassed to ask. Instead you arched your body into his and his smirk widened.

“I know what you want,” He rasped, “But this is going to feel even nicer. Trust me.”

And then his head slipped between your thighs. When he kissed you, you were sure your body was going to combust into flames. You moaned louder than you ever had as the familiar warmth settled in the pit of your stomach. You tried to clench your thighs but Taehyung held them open.

You fell apart so quickly you were almost embarrassed. When he pulled away from you and looked up you were taken aback by the sudden surge of affection that filled you.

His hair was mussed up and his eyes were twinkling and you were worried about what it was doing to your heart.

“Good?” He asked arrogantly and you could only nod.

He came back towards your mouth and kissed you, the taste of you mingled on his tongue. When he nudged the space between your legs you opened yourself wider.

And then he was inside you.

It still hurt as he entered and you twitched in pain. He paused and looked at you carefully.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” You responded, “You can move.”

As always his concern for you blew your heart into smithereens and you circled your hips to distract yourself from his sweetness.

He growled at that movement and began to pump into you his dark eyes latched onto your face.

“You looked so fucking good in that dress tonight,” He grunted, “Better than anyone else there. Everybody was looking at what was mine. I couldn’t wait to come home and remind you of who you belong to.”

The words thrilled you and you found yourself wondering if perhaps you really were in danger of falling in love with him.

When he released inside of you, you expected him to roll over and go to sleep. Instead he went to the bathroom and grabbed a towel, wiping at the space between your thighs.

Your heart wilted at the gentleness of his movements. Then he climbed into bed and reached an arm out towards you.

“Come on,” He grumbled almost grumpily, “It’s cold and I’m tired.”

You nodded and curled into his side. Taehyung switched off the lights and tightened his arm around you.

“Goodnight Y/N. Sleep well.”

You cleared your throat, “Goodnight Taehyung.”

That night you slept better than you had in years.

–-

PART 1

PART 3

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