#I wish my brain would just let me enjoy life lol | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos · 6 months

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as much as i love buggy, i’m gonna request sanji for the fluffy alphabet!

let’s go foooor… C, D, N, U, and Y please! (my goldfish brain forgot if you said five at the most lol)

i love your work sm and i really wish you all the best!

Yay flirty chef!! Most of the requests for the Fluffabet have been Mihawk so far, which I am NOT COMPLAINING ABOUT I love him a very abnormal amount; but Sanji is just so precious and writing for him just

*melts into a silly giggling puddle*

Aaaaanyway. I very much want to thank you for requesting the letter U, I've kind of been looking forward to it, since it gives me creative freedom to brainstorm further and deeper into the characters and their quirks/psychologies, and I always love doing that.

Thank you for the request, and I hope you enjoy!!!

Also feel free to come back and make requests for Buggy, as I've gotten none for him yet at all. Sad clown noises.

Also also, since someone else asked, requests for the Fluffy Alphabet will remain open until all letters are claimed for all characters; and I'll still accept requests for other characters I haven't listed if I feel I can write them and do them justice, I just listed the ones I did because they're the ones I've written the most. Until I state on my Masterpost that requests are closed, they are very much open!!

C is for Courtship (How would they court you?)

“The heavens must be dull these days with their most beautiful goddess stuck down here.”

Firmly believes it was love at first sight, and Sanji is absolutely determined to win you over. As much as he wants to pull you in by your hands, wrap his arms around you, and tell you he’s loved you since the moment he first laid eyes on you; he also doesn’t want to overstep any boundaries and risk blowing his chances.

Flirty, flirty, flirty. He can’t help it, it's just what he does—but he’s respectful about it, dropping silly little lines designed to make you giggle, hopefully make you blush a little. Beyond that, though, he’s going to make every effort possible to legitimately get to know you; your likes and dislikes, your goals, your dreams, everything, wanting to ensure that you know he’s interested in you for more than just being a pretty face that happened to catch his eye.

If you flirt back, you’re never going to be able to get rid of him, he’s your responsibility now, basically a lost puppy that followed you home, end of story.

He’s bent on impressing you, so your first date he’s going to insist on cooking for you, just the two of you—meeting you with a bouquet of your favorite flowers (he made sure to ask in passing about your favorites at some point beforehand), with a light kiss on the cheek and a soft touch at your waist.

D is for Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning and other such household chores?)

“No, no, you sit down and relax, I can handle this, love. Really.”

Settling down with you would be a dream come true. He does have his dream of finding the All Blue, but if you’re willing to come with him on that adventure, then the journey there would be just as much of a dream to him as the destination itself.

It doesn’t take him very long at all to decide that he wants to spend the rest of his life with you, and he’ll do anything to make that happen.

He’s quite cleanly and organized in general—having spent the better part of his formative years working in a professional kitchen, it’s become a force of habit. If something needs to be cleaned, to be tidied up or organized, he’s going to do so automatically, without even really thinking about it. He would much rather just see you relaxing, will probably protest a bit about you “doing too much” if you lift a finger to so much as sweep a floor.

You already know that cooking is handled. Cooking, kitchen maintenance in general. That goes without saying. Even if you enjoy cooking as well and you want to cook with him (absolute bonus, he loves cooking with you), he’s going to be right behind you wiping down the counters, washing and drying all the dishes as you go before you even have a chance to drop them in the sink.

N is for Needs (What do they need in a healthy relationship?)

“I don’t know how I ever survived without you in my life, sweetheart.”

Sanji can be a bit on the needy side. It isn’t that he lacks confidence, or that he absolutely requires constant reassurance—he just adores you, and wants to spend every minute possible with you, making sure that you know how precious you are to him.

If you’re near him, he needs to be touching you in some capacity. Whether it’s subtle, his hand resting at the small of your back while he stands next to you, or his arm curled around you and touching your waist; or if he’s pulling you back against him, arms around your waist or hands at your hips, resting his chin at your shoulder and pressing a kiss to your cheek, he always wants to be close to you.

Constantly telling you how much he loves you, showering you with praise for every little thing you do. If it gets to be too overwhelming he will back off—but you’re still going to catch him out of the corner of your vision with his own eyes glued to you, smiling and sighing as if you’re the single most incredible thing he’s ever laid eyes on.

That being said, if you argue about anything at all, he’ll be an absolute wreck, apologizing incessantly and begging your forgiveness; and he might need a fair amount of reassurance after the fact that you aren’t upset anymore. He can’t stomach the thought of upsetting you, because losing you would utterly devastate him.

U is for Unique (What’s something unique about them that no one knows but you?)

“It’s fine, just couldn’t sleep. Thought I’d get a head start on breakfast. You can go back to bed.”

Cooking is of course his passion—but it can, and sometimes does, double as a coping mechanism. He has a deeply troubled past, and every so often it might plague him in the form of nightmares.

In which case you’ll often wake up to find his side of the bed empty; to find him in the kitchen in the wee hours of the night or morning, while everyone else is asleep, either prepping meals for the day or experimenting with new recipes to set his mind at ease.

He’s happy to accept if you offer to help, or if you just decide to sit up with him and offer your company. He’ll probably try to convince you to go back to bed, that there’s no need for you to lose sleep, but he’s not going to turn you down if you insist. It’s a gamble whether or not he’ll talk with you about what’s bothering him, or if he’ll keep a bit more quiet than usual while he immerses himself in his work. Either way, he appreciates your presence and your support more than you could ever know.

The menial, repetitive task of preparing ingredients in particular offers a pillar of stability and structure that helps him to breathe a little easier, to sort through that turmoil and make better sense of it; while the act of experimenting with something new helps steer his mind back to the present rather than dwelling on what woke him in the first place.

Y is for Yearning (What’s something that they yearn for when you’re separated?)

“Oh, no, love, I assure you, I definitely missed you more.”

It would be better to ask what he doesn’t yearn for. He simply can’t stand being apart from you, for any length of time. It isn’t that he doesn’t trust you, that doesn’t even cross his mind. He knows you’ll come back to him. He just can’t stand the length of time that you aren’t there.

Your touch, your scent, your face, your eyes, your body—your smile, your laugh, your voice, your embrace, your kisses—whether it’s minutes or hours or days that you happen to be apart, you’re the only thing that he can think about, having you back by his side, in his arms, safe and sound.

Life on the sea isn’t the safest, and he’s going to spend the entire time you're apart worried that something might happen to you. Even if you’re capable of handling yourself, he would feel much better being with you, knowing that he’s there to keep you safe.

And when you are together again, he makes it very clear just how much he missed you, all but literally gluing himself to your side, incessant in his insistence of how much he missed you, how he doesn’t ever want to spend that long apart again.

Even if it was only five minutes. Doesn’t matter, time is irrelevant, any amount of time away from you is far too long.

#sanji #opla #one piece #sanji opla #sanji one piece #sanji x reader #headcanons #one piece headcanons #opla headcanons #sanji headcanons #asks #requests

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ughgoaway · 2 months

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you're just a stranger I know everything about.

Content warnings; sadness lol, confrontation, crying, a few Taylor references because I am unbearable, swearing, shouting, and just general angst. (no happy ending either oops)

a/n; day 1 of the matty 35 celebration! and what better way to start it than with some teacher au angst?? I know my birthdays always have an air of melancholy, so I feel like this is appropriate. I fear this is rushed and SO bad, but eh, too late now!! anyway, enjoy! maybe? if you can?

word count; 3.5k ish

(this fic is an extension from the "don't you think of me?" universe, which you can read here.)

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The text sits on your phone. Every time the screen starts to dim, you tap it to keep it illuminated, yet you don't reply. You can't. Every muscle in your body feels frozen except that one finger.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

You watched the phone dim, but the name of the contact seemed to stay just as bright, even when the light is as low as it can be, “Matty. DO NOT TEXT.” glows on your screen. The warning was added against your will after a few too many drunk almost-phone calls.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

It’s an hour later when the phone dies. You knew it was coming, watching the percentage of charge drop slowly. You got the 15% warning. Then the 5%. But still, you did the same thing until the screen finally went black.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

You don't need the phone to be lit up to remember what the message said anyway. You’d read it a thousand times over already. You’d analysed it, broken it down, performed autopsies on every single word, each letter was scorched into your brain.

“Hey y/n, long time no talk.

I hope you got my letter, if you didn't read it, that's okay. You already know everything I said. You always knew me better than I did.

Anyway, I know this is a long shot, but it's my birthday party next week, and I just can't imagine celebrating without you there. All I can think about is my last birthday, me and you in Hawaii. I don't expect it to be like that, but I would love it if you came. Even if you just had one drink, we don't have to talk. You can wave at me across the room and stay far, far away. Treat me like I've got the plague for all I care, but just come, please.

Give an old man his birthday wish?

See you there, maybe. I hope so, anyway.

Matty x”

You want to do the same to the text that you did to his letter, burn it to a crisp. But that doesn't exactly seem feasible, considering your phone was £500, and probably not flammable. plus, you had blisters on your fingers for weeks after the letter, and you dont know if it's worth it again.

But you can't deny that the blisters were oddly comforting. Reminding you what you did every time something brushed your digits, that he was gone, and you had the power. The ball was in your court, and you intended it to stay there.

And it was there for months. But Matty ruined that by sending that message, he got the power back whether he intended to or not. And it was made even worse by him telling Charli, and her endless phone calls begging you to come.

You’re so good at telling her its not going to happpen, and every message that comes in gets a firm “no.” or just gets point-blank ignored. She begs, saying that she needs a friend there and that she'll even let you choose a few songs for George’s DJ playlist. But you stay strong, shaking your head and sighing, insisting you've moved on, that chapter of your life is closed, and you'd like to keep it that way.

So you can't help but wonder how you ended up dressed up on a Saturday night standing outside of Matty’s house, bottle of wine gripped in your shaking hands and the distinct noise of your heels clicking against the pavement as you walk towards the house you've done everything you can to forget.

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As soon as you walk in, you can tell the house is different from how you left it. Obviously, the strobe lights and birthday balloons were new, but even ignoring those, the whole space felt wrong. Even more unforgiving and cold, which was impressive considering every inch was covered with people, dancing and chatting. Still, a lifeless air hung around.

Your eyes darted around, finding the places that you used to occupy. The painting you bought Matty no longer hangs on the wall, replaced by yet another award. You can't help but feel bitter when you see the poster celebrating the album full of songs about you. The spot where your mug used to sit on the counter was empty, but the dark stained ring of coffee remained, forcing you to fight a small smile. maybe he hadn't completely erased you, even if he tried.

People recognise you immediately, and they don't hide their shock well. They might think that they do, smoothly recovering from their initial surprise, but they don't. You see their wide eyes and disbelieving glances, each person acting like you're a ghost haunting the house you once lived in.

You play pretend along with them, smiling as best you can and answering all their questions.

"How's work?"

"How have you been?"

"you seen any good films lately?"

but, you both know you're dancing around the one question they really want to be answered.

why the fuck were you here?

Eventually, the people stop coming, and Charli finds you, plying you with drinks and half-slurred thanks as she begs you to stay for just 5 more minutes. You agree, only because you have yet to catch a glimpse of the birthday boy, and that made everything just bearable.

You quickly regret that decision when you see him not even a minute later, standing by George in the DJ booth smoking a cigarette and laughing in that contagious way he always did. High pitched giggles and his head thrown back.

But he doesn't see you, so it's still okay. You can hang on a few seconds more. Your chest might be tightening with every moment, but you're not suffocating yet.

However, when a tall blonde girl walks over and starts making out with him, it suddenly starts to feel like the room is on fire, and you’re choking on the invisible smoke. The burn of the flames starts to feel all too real when he pulls away from her, though, and his eyes find yours as if they're magnetised together.

The realisation falls over his face immediately, dropping his hand from around her waist and trying desperately to weave through the crowd surrounding him. You don't stay to see if he breaks through the sea of people, already rushing out as fast as you can, forcing your cup into a stranger's hand and moving as fast as your legs can take you.

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“y/n, stop.” You hear Matty’s voice behind you as you storm out his front door, but you don't turn. It sounds muffled, like you're being pulled underwater, and someone is screaming at you to get up. But the waves keep on pulling you deeper, and his voice becomes more faint with every step you take.

Yet, as soon as the cold air fills your lungs and his skin finally touches yours, you're pulled out. You spin around as soon as his fingers graze your shoulder, acting like even his touch is painful as you wrench away.

It was finally here, the time you were dreading. The time when it was just you, him, and everything that remained unsaid.

His eyes held yours as the silence of the night surrounded you, and you couldn't help but study him like you always did. He looked different. Not better or worse, just different. The colourful lights in the house had been hiding his features.

He had more lines on his face, deeper ones on his forehead, but the ones around his mouth had lightened, his smile lines fading. You could still tell even when it was slicked back with heavy gel that more grey streaks danced through his curls.

His eyes were the same, though. Always so telling, so revealing. If you wanted to know exactly what Matty Healy was thinking, look in his eyes. They spoke more than he did. Which sounds absurd if you’d ever had a conversation with him, but you'd bet your life on it.

You almost start to soften at the sight of him, old memories flooding back. Flashes of warm sun and hot kisses, filthy sex followed by soft breakfasts in bed. But then he speaks. Why do men always do that? Just as you're thinking about saying something and trying defusing the situation, they open their stupid mouth.

“Where are you going?” he asks softly, his chest heaving as he desperately sucks in oxygen, his lungs fighting to catch up.

“Home, Matty. I shouldn't have come. I don't even know why you invited me.” You try to spin and walk away, to finally move on. But of course, Matty’s voice drags you back under once again, and the same water fills your lungs.

“stay, please. i dont know why i invited you either, but I did. I didn't expect you to come. I just-” Matty stutters as he speaks as if his brain can't catch up with his mouth, things pour out that he doesn't mean. And he knows it. It's crystal clear as soon as his wide eyes shoot open, processing what he had really just said.

He didn't expect you to come? He put you through all this and didn't think you'd show up? What was the point then? Was it just to hurt you? Did he just want to see if he could? to see if his name popping up would have the same effect it always did, make you come running to him?

Your body moves without thinking, turning to face Matty with fires burning in your eyes, "You didn't think I would come? Then why the fuck did you even invite me, Matty?! to flaunt your new girlfriend? to try and "win" the breakup? Well congratulations, you've fucking won. I'm sure that model hanging off your arm is just perfect for you.” sarcasm drips from your every word, burning Matty like acid rain.

“No! It's not like that. I don't know. I think- I think I was just scared we’d never be in the same place again. That I would love you for the rest of my life, but I’d never see you again.” his voice softens as he speaks, and you almost want to give in, to crumble at his gentle tone and warm eyes. But he can't still love you, it seems impossible when you go back and see the destruction he left behind.

“That's what a breakup is, Matty. And did you ever think about me? About what I want? I can't help but think that maybe that would've been better. If being in the same room as you means feeling like this, I don't ever want to see you again.” You spit back angrily.

Matty's nostrils flare before he speaks, and you can see the anger building inside him. It takes a lot to get Matty to shout, but you can tell with every second you're making him inch closer. And you don't know why that makes you feel so good, but if you're honest, you don't want to know.

You want to keep going, keep pushing. You want him to act like he did that night. You needed to see it again. You needed to know he couldn't ever forget the night you're forced to remember.

“y/n, I don't- I just don't know what to say to you. What do you want from me? Do you want me to say that saying goodbye to you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do? That it ripped my heart out of my chest? That it fucking destroyed me? It did. Of course it did, you always made me feel everything. Losing you was no different.” You heard the way Matty’s voice cracked the more he spoke, but you ignored it. If he wanted to pull the dagger out of your heart, it was his job to deal with the bleeding.

“It didn't feel that hard when you stopped coming home at night. Or when you were fucking screaming at me. Or even that night when you walked out the door, you made it look pretty fucking easy that night. Because that's how it was Matty, you left. So don't come to me bitching and whining that it destroyed you. It's your fault. All of this is your fault.” you feel your voice wavering, but you suck in another breath, refusing to let him see you weaken, to see that wall you built start to break down.

“I deserved a better goodbye, Matty. If the goodbye you gave me hurt, the one I deserved would have fucking killed you.” You poke Matty in the chest harshly, pushing him back on his unsteady feet.

Streetlights flicker above you, the severe light dancing across Matty’s features. As long as you can remember, this light was busted, flicking on and off at will. It used to annoy you, distract you at night when the light poured through the curtains of Matty's bedroom.

Tonight, however, you loved it. No one could hide what they were really feeling under the harsh yellow glow. It seemed to pull every emotion to the surface of your face, illuminating even the darkest parts you wanted to hide.

So it was easy to spot when anger reared its ugly head in Matty. This time, he doesn't push it back. He physically can't.

He needs you to know that it did kill him to say goodbye, and that you can see that. he needs to understand how you can’t you see that he's the shell of the man he once was as he stands here?

“I apologised to you. I know you got my letter. Thanks for the response, by the way, a great way for us to get closure for whatever the fuck this was.” venom drips from every word that falls from his lips, and you have to fight to hide the smirk brewing on your face.

Finally. Finally, he was angry. He was pissed off. This is what you needed. You need the big fight, the final breakdown. Just one more time, you tell yourself, just one more screaming match, and you can move on.

A scoff involuntarily is ripped from your chest, as if you can't believe the utter bullshit coming from the man across from you. “I'm sorry, you think you deserve a response? What would I say in it, “Oh Matty, I'm so sorry! You're so right. Please let me come over so we can fuck all night!!” I know I'm not your usual airhead type, but you have to think more of me than that”

Your voice is high and piercing as you speak, and you know it. It always was when you started to get riled up. However, in this moment, you didn't care. You just needed something to happen, for him to get just as annoyed as you've been for fucking months.

“You don't think I deserved anything, though? Not even an acknowledgement?” his incredulous eyes met yours, begging you to take everything back and say you're sorry too, that it wasn't just his fault, even if he knew that wasn't true.

“Why should I? You never acknowledged my feelings. I don't think you asked me how I felt in the last month of our relationship.” Wet tears start brewing at your lashline. You want to fight them falling. But you can't, your resolve weakening with every second he stands in front of you.

“you know, that night we broke up, I realised something. you hadn't said you loved me in weeks. I said it every morning. But you'd hum back, or nod, or hug me. But you never actually said it.” Matty tries to cut in, and you already know what he wants to say. But you don't let him, powering through his half started words and desperate eyes.

After a few shaky breaths, your words start pouring again, “You treated saying “I love you” just like how you treated saying sorry. Like it would kill you to even think it. You've still never properly apologised for how you treated me, never said it to my face. But when we were together, I found myself saying sorry thousands of times over for feeling anything. I felt guilty for being pissed off at you, like I was doing something wrong. But I had every right to be! You had become a man I didn't even recognise, and for some reason, I still loved you, even when I shouldn't have. But at the time, I didn't see that. All I saw was you hurting. And because all I do is care, I wanted to stay. To stay for you, for us. Our family.”

Seconds pass, but they feel like minutes. The harsh wind blowing between you whistling through the street. Your eyes can't be dragged away from Matty’s, tears falling freely between the two of you.

And suddenly, you don't want him to be angry any more, you don't want this all to happen. You wish you could go back, never come here. But time doesn't work like that, so you’re stuck with tears pouring down your face as you stare at the man you once thought was the love of your life.

“Do you still have feelings for me?” Matty whispers, and you could see the desperation on his face, wet eyes tracing your every feature.

In that moment, he didn't know what he wanted your answer to be.

If you said no, it would kill him. Every ember of hope smouldering inside him would be burnt out, never to be relit.

But if you said yes, he doesn't know if he can let go. If you say you still feel anything for him, he knows he’ll be looking for you in every universe until he finds the one where you stay.

“I won't ever not love you, Matty. No matter how many times I tell myself I've moved on or that my life is better without you in it. I will always love you, and that's fucking agonising.” you sniffle as you speak, and you almost want to laugh at the absurdity of it all. How did you go from screaming at each other to professing your everlasting love?

Matty wants nothing more in that moment than to start begging you to come back, telling you how you can make it work, to talk about what he would do to get you back. But he knows he shouldn't, so he doesn't.

“Annie still thinks about you all the time you know,” Matty says, and your chest hurts from the whiplash of this conversation, jumping between memories of your old life so fast its almost unbearable. But you knew Matty. He needed to jump around to stay sane, so you jumped with him.

“I know, I remember you saying in the letter that she stopped asking when I was coming back. Is that true?” your voice drops again, as if you were sharing secrets at a sleepover.

“I thought it would be easier when she stopped asking, maybe then I'd not spend every waking hour thinking of you. But when the day came, it wasn't easier. It was like watching you leave right in front of me all over again. It brought me back to walking into the house for the first time after you left, looking at the empty space and trying to figure out how to fill it. Annie was filling it by asking about you, but suddenly she wasn't, and that glaring hole in my life was back." Matty's voice breaks as he speaks, but he clears his throat and tries to ignore it.

"I realised then that I'll never not think about you. Even if no one talks about you. Even if I never see you again, I'll still think of you.” Matty sucks in a shaky breath as soon as the words stop pouring out of him. His lungs seemed like they were sticking together with every word he said, and it felt like death. But he couldn't stop the rush of words, so he let the death surround him.

“Tell her I said hi” you reply meekly, not sure what to say in response to Matty’s outpour.

“I won't” matty says, forcing a half smile and chuckle that you half-heartedly return.

Once again, the blanket of silence surrounds the two of you, enveloping you in a way that feels all too familiar. So you break it, not letting yourself fall back into old patterns.

"i just dont understand how it all happened so quickly. how did you go from a stranger to the love of my life, only then to become someone I wish was a stranger all over again?" You whisper, your shaking hands coming to cup Matty's wet cheeks as you step closer. His hands wrap around your waist instantly, pulling you in and holding you so tight it almost hurts.

Silence hangs between the two of you. But its no longer painful or awkward, stilted or angry. It was a silence of acceptance, an acknowledgement that this had to be the final goodbye. There was no erasing the past, the demons that followed the two of you couldn't be ignored. So you were done, this was it.

Eventually, you pull away, and your face hovers in front of Matty’s for a few beats too long. You want to give him a final kiss, a proper goodbye. and you swear you can almost feel his lips against yours, taste the salty tears that would fall from your eyes. You don't, though. Your hands drop from his wet cheeks, and you walk away.

Every fibre inside you wants to turn around and go back to him. It feels impossible to face the future with the person you planned to spend it with standing 10 steps behind. But you do, moving forward and trying not to mourn the life you know you can never get back.

#starting off the celebration strong #by bringing the mood down #my fav activity #sorry if this is bad! angst is fun but HARD #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy x reader #matty healy fic #matty healy angst #the 1975 fanfic #the 1975 angst #teacher au!#Matty35

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f1bordeaux · 10 months

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Landslide | cs55

"Even children get older, And I'm getting older too" Life moves on, pretty quickly at that. Your last night with Carlos is one that you'll both remember forever. Even years later when he fulfills his biggest wishes. Warnings: Suggestive content, heated make out sesh lol, sadness, happy/unhappy ending? Mostly unhappy Pairings: Carlos Sainz x Reader(y/n) Word Count: 4.2k Poetry style | Story style A/n: I LOVEEEEEE Landslide by fleetwood mac and the way this song hits you when you're about to move out-UGGHHHHHH I wrote the first half of this then went out, got drunk as fuck, woke up and wrote the rest of it with a hangover, so forgive me if there are any errors. Anyways, enjoy this internal dread i'm feeling turned into a FanFic. Growing up is so weird, isn't it?

I took my love, I took it down I climbed a mountain and I turned around And I saw my reflection in the snow-covered hills 'Til the landslide brought me down

2012.

“¡Sainz joder!” He turned around to look, a smile splitting his lips. Antonio had a frying pan in his hand as the two of you ran through his kitchen. Carlos’ hand squeezed yours with so much force that you wondered if it would bruise. It didn’t hurt, though. In that moment, nothing mattered but that damn smile that Carlos carried. “¡Anda, anda!”

Finally, you reached the back door of the kitchen. Carlos used his whole body to push it open, hoping that nobody would be on the other side. Luckily, the alleyway was empty, save for an employee sitting on a bucket smoking a cigarette. Carlos kept running and you had no choice but to keep up-your hands were still intertwined after all.

Antonio ran out the door, stopping as he watched you two make your grand get away. “Bastard! I ought to tell your father! And your father too, young lady!”

It was the same threat he used every time you and Carlos cut through his kitchen. I’m going to tell your fathers that you two are devious children! He’d say. He never did, though. Antonio was a friend to both yours and Carlos’ parents. He could if he wanted to, but he didn’t. For over ten years, you and Carlos would walk into his restaurant-situated on a busy Madrid street-and slowly sneak your way into the kitchen. Sometimes, when he wasn’t there, the waiters and cooks would just let you freely pass. But, more often than not, he was there and it suddenly became an obstacle course of running past cooks, dodging frying pans and slipping between shelves. It was worth it, however. A small, secret alleyway that was blocked off by a fence from the main road laid on the other side of the restaurant.

On the left-the building that Antonio’s restaurant was in-was a fire escape. It spanned up ten stories to an abandoned rooftop bar. Over the years, Carlos would bring small objects up there. Pillows, blankets, a small folding table, a few boxes to keep the stuff safe. He had the place designed to his liking-like it was his house or something. He’d put string lights up there too, giving the space a dreamy, photogenic atmosphere. So many nights were spent underneath the abandoned bar. You’d slept there a handful of times. You’d gotten drunk for the first time there, too. That space was yours and his. It was Carlos and y/n’s spot; everyone knew it.

So, as you and Carlos climbed the fire escape, it was hard to believe this was the last time the two of you would be spending the night up there together. It made you nauseous to think about.

“Try not to look so down.” Carlos chuckled as the two of you kept climbing the stairs. He could read you like a book, obviously he saw how upset you were. “Let's enjoy tonight.”

“Easier said than done, Carlos.” He stopped suddenly, your chest running into his backpack. His hands grabbed your shoulders and he-shook you? “Carlos stop it!”

“Sorry I was just trying to get the idea that I’m leaving you out of your brain.” He said, dropping his hands.

“But you are.” You said, evoking a sigh from him. Before he could apologize-which you knew he was about to do-you shook your head. “Listen, I’m so excited for you, Carlos, but-I don’t know. Life is going to be so different without you in it.”

“I’ll still be in it, mi novia. It’s not like I’m dying.”

“But Carlos, you’d always come home to Madrid after a race. You’d always be back to see me. We would work on school work together. I’d come to your races sometimes.” You sighed, looking at the metal ground beneath you. “But I’ll be in college and you’ll be in the British Formula 3 now. That's a massive step up. And when you do come back to Madrid, I won't be here.”

He didn’t speak, not for a while. The two of you just stood there, in the Spanish heat, looking at the ground. Life would never be the same. He couldn’t say anything to deny that. Tomorrow night, he would be catching a flight to London, and at the same time, you would be catching a flight to the United States. You’d both leave behind Madrid and only ever return as guests to your hometown. Maybe your rooftop hideaway would go untouched. Maybe some new children would find it and claim it as their own. They’d find the boxes that said, Carlito&Muneca, in sharpie and wonder what those names meant. Maybe they’d sort through your things, maybe they’d turn on the string lights and gasp at how beautiful the place looked.

Being eighteen was weird. You didn’t like it too much.

“Let's go, y/n.” Carlos grabbed your hand once again, pulling you up the fire escape. Three more flights awaited you. The sunset had just begun, but the primary color in the sky was still blue. You could still hear car horns from nearby streets. The air was still warm. The two of you were still young. At least for tonight you were.

Once you reached the top Carlos stepped aside, allowing you to take in the scene.

Oh, mirror in the sky What is love?

The spot on the stage where Carlos and you normally sang and danced to his iPod Nano was now completely redecorated. There was a plush blanket, pillows, a pizza box, and those damn string lights you loved were hanging from the roof. A small card was on one of the pillows. It was, of course, addressed to you in Carlos’ fanciest writing.

Anyone would think that this was a romantic gesture. But you two were best friends. Since birth, really. Not a day went by without conversation between the two of you. Carlos was your soulmate. Of course you had crushes on him here and there-he was hot, funny, caring, charming; you could go on and on. But you never acted on it. Keeping him around was better than losing him.

“Carlos,” You cupped your mouth with your hands. It was beautiful. “When did you-Is that pizza from Antonio’s?”

Carlos laughed, amused that the first thing you pointed out was the food. “Yeah,” He said. “He’s pretty sad that he won't see us around town anymore, either.”

Your heart sank. Right. That's why this was all set up-as a final goodbye. In the few moments of excitement and shock that filled your body upon seeing all this, you had forgotten that tonight was it. “I don’t know what to say.”

“Vamos, let's eat.”

That you did. Carlos and you sat at the bar and ate, watching as the sun sank lower and lower over the city skyline. Somewhere along the way, he pulled some liquor out of his backpack. You two drank and talked, reminiscing over everything the last eighteen years had brought. That one time you spent the night at his house and started a small fire in the kitchen-from then on sleepovers were at your house. That one time you two took a day trip to the beach and Carlos’ foot brushed a stingray's back. That one time you were at one of his races and a driver started hitting on you, so Carlos punched him in the jaw and got suspended for three races. That one time a wild hare was in your guest bathroom and your parents weren’t home so you called him over to help and you trapped it in your mother’s favorite cooking pot. That one time he lost a bet and went streaking through his neighborhood in the middle of winter.

The two of you were hunched over in laughter, your abdomens cramping from how hard you were laughing. Carlos wiped a tear away from his eye. “And remember Mrs. Nunez? She saw me that night and sprayed me with her garden hose!”

You sniffled. “Like why was she awake at five am? And why was she gardening?”

“Literally! I was fucking freezing. The scream that came from my mouth after that-”

You both mocked his scream at the same time, laughing even harder as you remembered the old lady’s shocked face from that night. Slowly, you both started calming down, giggling as you remembered the streaking ordeal. Carlos took a sip from his beer. You drank from your rum and Coke. It was darker now, still not pitch black, but darker. You looked up into the sky, watching as clouds rolled by.

“What am I going to do without you?” Carlos asked. You looked back down. He was staring right at you, bringing the beer bottle back up to his plush lips. “Can’t you just quit college and travel with me?”

You scoffed. “And be what? Your trophy bestfriend?”

“Trophy wife?”

You swore that your heart stopped beating. Wife? As in marriage? Obviously he wasn’t being serious, right? Carlos was a playboy. He’d had plenty of girlfriends in his lifetime. From your past observations, you weren’t his type at all. He preferred dolled up girls, ones with fake blonde hair and exquisite makeup. He preferred high heels and short, skin tight dresses. He preferred long nails and longer lashes. Synthetic beauty. You were far from that. When you put on makeup, it was simple. You dolled yourself up, yes, but everything about you was natural. From your hair color to your nail length. You were a natural beauty-something Carlos had never indulged in.

“Very funny,” You smiled as you took another drink.

“What?”

You blinked very slowly at him. “Us getting married? Sure.”

He shrugged. “Why not? You don’t love me?”

“Of course I love you, Carlito.” You tried using his nickname to deescalate the situation. “But you would never marry me.”

“Bold assumption.”

Was he drunk? Or, was he shooting his shot because tonight was it? This was quite possibly his last chance, was he taking it? Was he working you up so you’d miss him more? God, this was confusing. “Carlos-”

Before you could even say another word, he was leaning forward to kiss you. His lips were warm on yours, a side effect of the alcohol you were sure. His lips were so soft, so large, so perfect. They pulled yours in with such ease, such delicacy-almost like you were fine China. His free hand came to your jaw, thumb resting on your cheek.

He pulled away first, much to your surprise. There was about half a beer left in his bottle. He downed it before speaking again. “I’m sorry, y/n. I don’t know why I thought that was ok.”

Your teeth pulled your bottom lip in. You’d just kissed Carlos, something you only ever dreamed about.

Can the child within my heart rise above? Can I sail through the changin' ocean tides?

You reached out, both palms resting on his cheeks this time, pulling him in for another kiss. Fuck it, you thought. This was a new dynamic between the two of you, but it was one that younger you would be ecstatic about.

This time, there was more hunger behind the kiss. Carlos understood this was something you wanted, and you now understood this was something he wanted. His tongue slipped between your lips, finding a home in your mouth. His hands wrapped around your neck, not applying any pressure, just applying warmth. You felt so warm, so satisfied. This was finally happening. Why couldn’t it have happened two years ago?

Carlos pulled away again, gasping for air while resting his forehead on yours. “Come here, hermosa.”

You got off your barstool and sat on his lap, your chest flush to his. The two of you resumed your makeout session, his hands roaming your back, your hands draped around his neck. You moaned into the kiss once his large fingers snuck beneath the fabric of your shirt and touched your hot skin. It was electrifying, it was new, it was so good.

You could feel the bulge in his lap pressed against your thigh. His kisses turned sloppy, his hands moved quicker, his breath grew shorter. It was obvious he was growing impatient with you sitting right there. He was hungry for you. He only wanted you.

His lips attacked your collarbone, leaving little bitemarks and wet spots across your skin. You ran your hands across his broad shoulders, leaning your head back as he created a constellation across your chest. The night air was cold, the sky was now completely dark. The string lights were off, but the glow from the city provided enough light for you to see Carlos at work. He looked so good, so handsome, so perfect.

He chuckled into your skin, the vibrations causing you to shiver. He involuntarily thrusted his hips up, grunting as he did so. You hung your head on his shoulder as he composed himself. “Wrap your legs around me when I stand up, ok?”

You could only nod, feeling gravity shift as he rose to his feet. You did as you were instructed, his arm coming to your lower back for support. Your chest was pressed so deep into his that you wondered if two humans could possibly get closer than this. You really wished your shirts were off so you could feel his skin on yours.

Softly, Carlos laid you down on the makeshift bed. It was more comfortable than you imagined it would be, but maybe your mind was too clouded with lust to be rational. You were focused on Carlos and only Carlos.

A gasp pushed past your lips, not because of anything Carlos did, but because of a loud and sudden explosion. The sky lights up in colors of reds and yellows, blues and purples, greens and oranges. Sparks quite literally fly as fireworks rip through the once still air. Carlos is beside you now, watching the sky with such intensity you wonder if he has ever seen a firework before.

“It’s Saint James Day.” He says to himself.

You’re pulling the covers up to your chest as you catch the small, toothy smile that he holds. He pulls his knees up and rests his elbows on them. You’re amazed at how quickly his attention changed from you to the fireworks.

“You had no idea?” You ask. “I knew there would be fireworks but I didn’t know they’d be close enough for us to see.”

Carlos shook his head. “I didn’t know, no.” He looked back over to you, that smile still on his lips. “What a way to spend our last night in Spain.”

Your heart stops beating. It’s like he was hellbent on reminding you that this was it.

Slowly, he reached for your jaw once again, bringing you in for a kiss. It was soft, it was gentle. It was reminiscent of the first kiss the two of you shared only a few minutes ago. Never, you thought, do I want this to end. It did, however. Everything has a beginning and an end. The circle begins when you place your pen on the page and it stops when you’ve finished drawing it. The story begins at birth and appears like it ends on a rooftop in Madrid-semi naked with fireworks in the background.

The fireworks carry on for a few more minutes. They seem to illustrate photos in the sky. Carlos sees it, too. He pulls out his phone to snap a quick photo before turning it to you. This goes unnoticed, you’re too preoccupied in watching the show before you. He snaps a candid photo of your side profile. It was one he would cherish for the rest of his life, even if it was low quality and dark.

When the sky falls dark once more, the sound of cars below once again filling your ears, Carlos turns his whole body to you. “I love you, y/n.”

Can I handle the seasons of my life? Well, I've been afraid of changin' 'Cause I've built my life around you But time makes you bolder Even children get older

And this time, it feels different. It feels like there is a non-platonic meaning to the sentence he says everyday. Carlos has been telling you he loved you since the two of you could speak. Everytime you two say goodbye his last words are, “I love you.” Every time he’s overjoyed with you he says, “I love you.” Every gift you’ve ever given him has been opened as he says, “I love you.” Every time you run into his garage after a good or bad race he greets you with, “I love you.” You begin to wonder if you’ve missed some signs along the way-if you were too immersed in the thought that, he would never date you, to realize he’s been fighting for you all along.

He answers your question when he speaks again. “All I've ever wanted in life was you. I knew that at the end of the day, I’d be alright as long as you were there, y/n. After a bad race, you were standing there waiting for me and I realized that it isn’t the end of the world. After a bad breakup, you were there to tell me that I’m not a douchebag and I’m actually a good person. After people told me I could never make it big in racing, you stood proud as my number one fan and forced me to carry on with my head held high.”

Your throat begins to burn. This was goodbye. This was Carlos’ confession.

“I have loved you for such a long time, y/n. It’s always been you. I have always wanted you.” No. “I have never clicked so well with someone. I have never thought someone was so beautiful as you. You don’t even have to try, either! You’re just so,”

He trails off, looking straight ahead at the city. His eyes glisten. You wonder if he’s about to cry. You know you’re one more word away from crying.

“I don’t know how I'm supposed to be ok after a bad day without you there to hold me.”

That does it. You hold a hand over your mouth as tears pour down your cheeks. They’re hot, but they aren't the same warmth that Carlos radiates. They’re painfully hot, his touch was pleasantly hot. You’ll have to learn to live with one and not the other, however.

“Carlos,” You choke out. He doesn’t turn to look at you, just staring straight ahead as tears of his own trickle down his cheeks. “Oh, Carlos.”

“This sucks.” He says.

“This sucks.” You repeat.

It sucks. Saying goodbye sucks. Leaving your hometown that you love so dearly sucks. Leaving your best friend sucks. What will become of the two of you? Will Carlos still love you? Will he return to Madrid and visit with your parents? Will he be saddened to see your empty room? Will he turn to look at every girl who resembles you and hope that somehow, someway, you found him? Will you do that to every man who looks like Carlos?

He leans back, laying flat on the bed. You rest your head on his chest, his fingers coming to play with your hair. “I believe with every bone in my body that you will do amazing things, Carlos. You’ll be a world champion one day. And guess what? You’re going to do it because you are strong. It’s not going to be because I’m holding your hand, it’s going to be because of your dedication, your talent, your strength, your skill. You’ve worked for this, Carlos. And you are going to do it.”

He sniffles, placing a kiss to the top of your head. “I love you, Carlos.” You say. And maybe things will be ok, maybe they won't. But you know that Carlos will go on to do great things. You know that he's the type of boy-no-he's the type of man to accomplish whatever he puts his mind to. He’ll fight for his life in that damn race car and then step out of it and make the whole room laugh and smile. He’ll make amazing friends, ones that will occupy the space you have always resided in. He’ll be happy and feel whole. He’ll think of you from time to time. Maybe you’ll visit one another when you both are in Madrid at the same time.

“I love you, y/n.”

And I'm getting older too

2026

You haven't run this fast since high school. Somewhere in the crowd, you’ve lost your husband, but you don't care. You have a mission to accomplish, a friend to see.

“Carlos!” You shout, waving your hands like a maniac. “¡Mi hijo! Carlos!”

A hand grabs you by the bicep. “You can’t be in here!” The strange man shouts. Did you run past some barriers? Yes. Did you push some young fans? Yes. Is security worried about your intentions? Yes. But there, only a few feet away, if the new World Champion.

“Let me go! I know Carlos!” You fight the man causing another to join in on the situation. Both of your arms are restrained and they’re practically carrying you out.

“Everyone says that.” One of them says.

“Please!” You beg. It’s been over three years since Carlos and you have seen each other in person. Life dragged you two apart. You thrived in college, becoming the girl that everyone loved. You made friends quickly and made memories even quicker. Carlos thrived in racing, too. He moved his way up pretty quickly, his Formula One debut coming just three years after he left. You’d seen the Youtube videos of him and his friends, you’d heard the inside jokes, read about Carlando-you knew he was happy. But, you two weren’t as close anymore. You’d text frequently, reaching out before a big race or after a difficult one. You’d facetime, too. You both had one another on social media, and sometimes he would comment on your post or respond to a story you had up. Life was different now, however. You and him were married. He couldn’t come to your wedding, it fell on a race weekend. You couldn’t go to his. You said you had work but watching him marry another girl would stir up some pain, even if you were in a happy relationship. You didn’t frequent Madrid all too much, choosing to vacation elsewhere when the time arises. But, vacations were rare now that you were a mother. This was the first time you’d been out of town since giving birth three years ago. It was worth it.

“Carlos!” You cried out once more. He knew you were at the race-he was the one that bought you the tickets-but you wanted to see him now, not later.

The commotion caught his attention. He stared for a second, trying to understand why two men were carrying out a girl, but then he saw who it was. “Y/n!”

He dropped the conversation he was having to run over to you. The hands of strange men were replaced by those of a familiar friend. You felt warm again. You felt whole.

He swept you up in a hug, spinning you around as you squealed. “You did it! You fucking did it Carlos!”

“I know! You were right muñeca! You were right!” The nickname alone was enough to make you cry. You hadn’t been called that in years. Since the two of you were in your teens.

He dropped you, hands sliding onto your cheeks. For a brief moment, you thought he would try to kiss you. He didn’t. But your mind wandered.

“I’m so happy you’re here.” He smiled softly. “None of this would have happened without you.”

“Me?”

Carlos nodded. “I carried your words with me every day. Nobody has ever believed in me as much as you have.”

“Carlos-”

“I love you, y/n.”

The tears were back, and they fell hard. “I love you, Carlos.”

He was pulled away to go do his podium celebration. The Championship had come down to the last race of the season. Carlos beat out his competitors, however, winning not only the race, but the World Championship. And as he stood on that podium, champagne spraying through the air, fireworks began to pop in the sky. It lights up in colors of reds and yellows, blues and purples, greens and oranges.

He looks down at you, a smile splitting his lips.

It seems like the highest award to achieve, but he hopes that in another life, one hopefully close by, that he can get the one thing he desires most.

You.

Maybe in another life, you followed him. Maybe in another life you two got married. Maybe in another life you reached out more. But in this life, Carlos is a World Champion. You wouldn’t trade his excitement, his pride and his joy for anything.

#f1 #formula 1 #f1 fanfic #f1 requests #f1 imagine #carlos sainz #charles leclerc #carlos sainz jr #carlos sainz ff #carlos sainz x reader #carlos sainz f1 #carlos sainz imagine #carlos sainz fanfic #carlos sainz smut #f1 smut #f1 angst #carlos sainz angst #max verstappen #pierre gasly

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notsoattractivearenti · 1 year

Text

It's Time to Leave (Mason Mount x Reader)

Song Inspo: Stay - Why Don't We (Listening to the song while reading this fic is highly recommended 😊)

WC: 1.5K

Warnings: Curse words, angst

A/N: Made a poll about who to write this fic for and Mason got the most votes! Should've finished 2 weeks ago but I didn't have the time lol but here it is 😉 Special thanks to @ariddletobesolved for proofreading! This fic is an one-shot, so there's not gonna be a 2nd part. Please enjoy and I'd love to hear your thoughts through replies/reblogs/asks 💗 Feedbacks are highly appreciated!

---

“I just wish things could be like they used to

But they never will, now I see right through you

Wish you could tell me all the ways that I miss you

Baby, I'd be lying if I didn't say I wish you'd

Stay”

---

“Y/N, I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“I can’t be the only one who’s invested in our relationship. It’s supposed to work both ways, you know? Well it used to be like that. But now-“

“Excuse me!? Why the fuck would you even think that way, Mason? I’m not invested in us? Why do you think I stayed for all these years?”

“You’ve changed, Y/N! You’ve fucking changed! Don’t you realise that? Do you think I’m too dumb to notice that?? I’m tired of being the one who cares so much when you don’t give a shit about me anymore!” He yelled, and you could see he was already tearing up.

From the first time you met him, he had never yelled at you. He has always been a calm, gentle, and loving person. No matter how upset he could be, he always handled things in a peaceful manner. You loved that about him, because he was different from the other guys you’ve previously dated. You felt like he was the one you can always count on, who will never let you down. He has a very positive attitude and big, warm personality, the moment you laid your eyes on Mason you were instantly drawn to him.

But today he showed you the side of him you have never seen before. You could clearly see he was filled with disappointment, resentment, anger, and sadness. You just came to a realisation that you have hurt him deeply. You were aware that your feelings toward him have changed, but you were in denial and tried to ignore that because you didn’t know how to tell him. You were afraid that if you broke up with him, you would make the biggest mistake in your life. But what you didn’t notice is that your behaviour had changed as well, you thought he would never notice – but knowing how in love with you he was, and that he’d known you all too well, of course he did.

“I was always there when you needed me, and I know for sure you fucking knew. I put a lot of effort into making our relationship last because I thought you were my forever.” He scoffed, pausing for a bit, shaking his head in something like disbelief. “Back then, we were so in love, we had so much fun together. But lately you seem like you have given up on us… What could possibly go wrong with us, Y/N?” His bloodshot eyes were now on you. Gone was the warmth that he used to reserve for you. “Have I done something to make you feel like I’m not worthy of your love anymore?” His voice was shaky as he tried to control himself from exploding, but his overflowing emotions were difficult to hide.

You froze for a minute, unable to think of anything to say. It’s like your brain suddenly couldn’t function. There was a pang in your chest that felt so heavy, and your hands started shaking. You were trying to gather yourself to find the right words to express how you feel about him.

“Mason… I-” This will hurt, you thought before continuing, “I’m sorry. The truth is… My feelings have not been the same. I don’t know why, how or when, but it is what it is.” You sighed, “I… I don’t love you anymore.”

He bit his lip and started breathing heavily, seemingly not ready to hear you say those last five words.

“I’ve been wanting to tell you that, but I just didn’t know how. I swear, it’s not you. But I feel like there’s something lacking within our relationship. I ju-”

“I gave you everything I could give you, Y/N. Everything. I poured my heart and soul into you, us. Wasn’t that enough for you?”

Your eyes widened, your jaw just dropped. You couldn’t believe what you just heard.

Mason took a deep breath, “I loved that you had shown me how much you needed me, but now it feels like you don't anymore. I mean, not long ago I just got injured and had to miss training and matches for a few weeks! You knew how much I needed you by my side, but instead you left me alone while you were out doing God-knows-what. You lied to me, and you kept making excuses after excuses, it’s like you just want to get away from me.”

Tears started streaming down your face. Fuck, you thought, what have I done?

“Wha- Mase, I… I have no idea you feel that way. I’m sorry… Fuck, I’m sorry I have been treating you like shit, I just…” you caught your breath from crying, “I don’t know what’s happening with me. What I did was wrong, I should’ve been there for you. I should’ve… I should’ve been honest to you. I… I don’t… I didn’t mean to break your heart…”

“Well it’s a little too late isn’t it?” he let out a scoff as he furiously wiped his tears, “I think it’s time for me to leave, Y/N. There’s no point of me staying in a dead-end relationship. You’ve fallen out of love with me, and I’m not going to convince you to love me the way you used to. I’ve tried my hardest to keep this ship floating, now I’m done.”

Overwhelmed, he paused for a second. “I just… I just don’t know you anymore, Y/N. You are not who you used to be. Now you don’t seem to care about me, about us. Now everything is always about you.”

You could feel your heart begin to shatter. You knew a break-up was coming eventually, but to hear him speak his truth hurt you deeper than you thought it would. You have done such awful things to him just because you were afraid to tell him how you feel. You wouldn’t blame him if he hates you now – in fact, you knew you deserved it.

“I’m tired of feeling down. I deserve better than whatever bullshit you’re giving me.”

He would be lying if he said he didn’t wish for you to stay, to give your relationship another try. But he knew you two would never work anymore. He wanted everything to be the way it used to be, he wanted to be loved by you and you only. But if you stayed, it would cause you both nothing but pain. At the moment he just knew that going separate ways was the only right thing to do.

You tried to hold back your tears, you were filled with instant regret. You knew you’ve fucked up and taken the greatest love of your life for granted. You hated that your relationship had to go down this way, but you knew you deserved it.

“Mase, I wish I could’ve done better… You and I both know even a million sorries will never be enough. You should know I’ve never meant to hurt you… And yet, at the end, I still did. Thank you for telling me everything I needed to know, I hate myself for treating you unfairly. You deserve better than a bitch like m-”

“No, Y/N, don’t say that,” he cut you off, “you’re not a bitch. You never were.”

“I am, Mase. I know for sure I am. You’ve always been so sweet and loving to me but I fucking hurt you in the worst way possible.”

You both then sat in silence for a while, trying to process the break-up. There was nothing easy about it, especially since you weren’t exactly prepared for what just happened.

“Well,” you broke the silence, “I guess it’s time for me to go.” This is it. “Goodbye Mase, and I’m sorry we had to end like this.”

You went in and tried to give him a hug, but he refused. “I can’t do that, Y/N. I’m sorry.”

“I- I understand.” You pressed your lips into a tight line, taking it as your cue to leave.

As you stood up and grabbed your things, he said to you: “Goodbye, Y/N.”

---

Two weeks had passed. His heart ached from missing you, he was questioning his decision to let you go but he knew it had to be done. He tried to delete your pictures and your number from his phone, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it, knowing that he still needed some time.

Putting his phone away, he then grabbed a pen and a little notebook he had. Since he couldn’t tell you how he was feeling, he wrote them down instead:

“Y/N, I wish I could tell you just how much I miss you… You are just too hard to forget. But I deserve better… After everything, I need to heal. We both do. Nonetheless, I hope you will find someone who can love you better than I did…”

---

“Gave you all I can give you

Now all that's left is "I still miss you"”

---

taglist: @pulisicsgirl @neverinadream @masonspulisic @swimmingismywholelife @chelseagirl98 @bracedes @lovelynikol16 @thoseboysinblue @lizzypotter14 @mortirolo @masonsrem

#mason mount #mason mount x y/n #mason mount x reader #mason mount fic #mason mount angst #mason mount imagine #mason mount fanfic #Spotify

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reilleclan-blog · 12 days

Text

They are just dancing ur honor

YEAH THE DANCE WITH DEATH or OF DEATH

um i genuinely love this series i think the devs made a game not to "hype up" their main character which a lot of games and story telling does, but they made a game about changing and perspective and I respect them a lot for that. B/c these are just ppl trying to survive not superheroes or op characters. Not that there's anything wrong with stories like that i just think stories like that have gotten old.

So yes Ellie changes Abby changes but I still love the characters a lot , at times I wished Ellie stayed with Dina but I'm like maybe that's just what she needed to do to finally change/let go of the past and further more forgive Joel. It was heartbreaking to see Ellie leave Dina cause I loved their dynamic and how often does unrequited love work out lol. But I don't blame either one for their choices I was upset with Ellie but it is what it is. It makes me think like "yes this person has changed but they are still the person I knew. So do I want to keep them in my life or let them go" kinda thing.

And all power to the audience but I think ppls discourse of the game was a little biased. Everyone hated Abby which yes she killed Joel. (Oh yeah and everyone was being transphobic and homophobic in general) and then a lot of ppl were mad Ellie didn't kill Abby(this is just a lot of shit I saw ppl complain about when the story was first released) but no one really talked EVER about a lot of the symbolisms or "coincidences" that happen thru the game.

Like the switch blade and little Ottie the elephant(i think that's its name) symbolizing the innocence of a child and showing Ellie whos changed and had to kill over the years

Or the fact that Abby is shown in a Halloween store on the "Seattle day 1"(when showing Abby after Joel's death) reminding me of the left behind dlc and they play around in a Halloween store . Or the parallels of Owen and Abby's relationship to Ellie and Riley when they were younger. And one friend wanting to explore but the other is trying to go back home.

Ellie and Abby both having tank tops on during their final fights lol not that important but yah. There's more but that's all I can remember right now I gotta play the rest of this game on grounded I know I'm gonna get my ass kicked playing that shit. I ususally play on story mode cause I want to enjoy the story lol but sometimes I know I can play on normal I just don't be feeling like it.

I'd honestly give this series a 10/10 it was amazing to experience very heavy subjects and topics talked about mostly is revenge worth it or how much are u willing to change for it.

Also Abby being so caring for the two young Seraphites was so nice to see her being "motherly" and sweet to them but also gruff with the way she talked. And honestly I got a soft spot for Abby idk is it the muscles? Lol and I saw someone say Dina carried her relationship with Ellie I'd say "yes and no" I think they had a lot of "let's clear the air" but never did that b/c Ellie probably didn't want to talk about it and/ or they weren't ready to talk about it. And Ellie was trying so hard to act like nothing was wrong but it clearly was wrong. So yes they were happy together but couldn't let go. I said this already but Ellie was like a warrior that couldn't leave the battlefield cause that's all she was used to. But she didn't really "try" to be happy either. All the killing and murder and brain trauma I doubt a couple months would cure u of the fucked up shit. Trying to heal from trauma takes tim on e but she didn't really give herself that either .. so idk

Also I woke up to a pic of Ellie's leather strap shotty having 20 ppl interact with it so thank u I didn't think much of the post lol I did like the pic a lot tho. I think it's just tlou stuff is super popular either way thanks

This is a lil jokey joke but THEY HAD TO NERF ABBY JUST FOR THESE MFS TO EVEN STAND A CHANCE AGAISNST HER THAT IS SO FUNNY TO ME. ELLIE GOT A DAMN BLADE FIGHTINF A MALNURISHED ABBY BRUH. Lol Abby was just so cold and cool I loved her bruh. But on god if Dina had died cause of Ellie idk if I could've forgiven her character lmao.

Also please I don't care about shipping ship whoever u like I really don't care I don't want to see ppl arguing about ships please. I liked Dina and Ellie but that don't mean I wasn't sad for Jessie losing his girl he clearly still liked Dina lol. I'm just saying I'm very neutral when it comes to shipping characters don't argue with me argue with ya mama

#virtual photography #tlou2 #ellie the last of us #the last of us #tlou #ellie tlou #ellie williams

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worriedvision · 2 years

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So uhhh how about maybe a tighnari x reader where the reader is a sibling of dottore's and they find out about his real work through a slip of the tongue (this is when they're an adult). They pursue becoming a doctor, and they decide to apply to Sumeru as well as other areas where they can train, and they get into Sumeru. Somehow they meet, chaos ensues when things are discovered

This is gonna be fun to write.

Translation: prepare to get hurt lol

Reader is gender neutral, please correct me if I slip up BC my brains like mush rn.

Got long af so I'm gonna do a second part lol

You never got on with your brother, finding him incredibly creepy. Sure, you were siblings, but something felt really dodgy about him. It didn't fade away at any point either, in fact it got even worse when he finished his education and somehow managed to get work for the Fatui.

You had assumed he was simply a medic, giving the bare minimum care to soldiers if they got wounded. Sure, it wasn't his idea of interesting, but at least he wasn't responsible for the care of vulnerable people who he could take advantage of.

Well, you found out he was experimenting on people who had less than ideal circumstances. See, he had been talking to a communication decide, and you overheard him documenting the age and condition of the 'new admissions'. Peering around the corner, you see the way his mouth just cracks into the most horrific grin. You just know he's trying to hold back laughter.

You never really knew what to do with your life, but you did try in school, achieving good qualifications to fit in wherever you deemed fit.

Now, however, you feel the sudden urge to become a doctor. Not like your evil brother, but rather a doctor that helps heal others, a doctor with a good reputation and an approachable exterior. Deciding to apply for courses, you go for Sumeru, Fontaine and Liyue. You already knew Sumeru would be near impossible to get into with how world renowned it was, you hoped to get into either Liyue or Fontaine.

When you receive the letter of acceptance from Sumeru, you manage to hold back your squeal of joy at the sight. Attached to the letter was a book you were to read up on. You flick through the pages, recognising one of the conditions to be one your brother was fixated on. You feel compelled to specialise in this reading, taking in all the information you can before you were to head off. Your mother thinks you're simply moving to Sumeru for some work, and she doesn't bar an eye when you leave.

You decide to take a detour from the usual route, figuring you may as well enjoy what other parts of Teyvat had to offer. Mondstadt, for example, felt like a getaway in comparison to your homeland. That wasn't exactly surprising, considering you had to deal with your brother's less than sane speeches.

Liyue was freeing as well, but in a more controlled manner than that of Mondstadt. You wished you left a day earlier, that way you would have been able to truly appreciate all the world had to offer.

However, you figure you may as well step foot into Sumeru. You navigate through the Chasm with someone who has the time to assist, you paying them respectfully with Mora before you head through into Sumeru.

To your surprise, you are met with a beautiful forest setting. Your mouth can't help but fall open, somehow able to keep ahold of your bag. You zone out for a bit, and you think you hear someone try to rouse you.

"Hello?" You hear a soft voice, a gloved hand waving across your face. You shake your head, promptly apologising before turning your attention to a beautiful looking man. His eyes peer into you, as if he asked you a question.

"Oh, sorry." You start. "I'm due to start a course soon at- uh sorry, one moment please-" you pause, pulling out your letter as well as the book you had been gifted. The man peers over your shoulder, and he lets out a sound of acknowledgement.

"Ah, what a coincidence." He responds. "I have to go into the city for work, I'll guide you." He nods, face still calm.

"...I would like to know who you are before trusting you with my safety." You half joke, the man smiling softly for a moment before he composed himself.

"You may call me Tighnari. I am a forest watcher." He explains. You begin to introduce yourself, only for him to recall your name. "I did see your letter, after all." He explains, smiling when you nod dumbly after realising he wasn't some sort of creep who knew all about you.

The walk wasn't very eventful, but Tighnari kept looking over at the book in your hand. You realise he's curious about the contents, and you hand it over. He looks over at you, surprised you were allowing him to read your book.

"I noticed you looking." You smile, Tighnaris ears twitching slightly. "I've already read through the book, so I think I can survive without it by my side all the time."

Tighnari nods, and he looks up to see the city entrance. Taking a deep breath, he walks up, you next to him.

When you find out you were to get a device of sorts attached to you, your mind already begins to dread the reaction you'd get if people realise you were your brother's sibling. Reluctantly, you do so, and thankfully neither of the people in front of you react. Taking a breath of relief, you walk with Tighnari, him leading you to the building you were to report to.

'Keep an eye on that one.'

After talking to Tighnari more, he asks if you would be interested in staying in the forest. Of course, you had some limits, but he told you there was someone that you both would benefit from being around. Eagerly nodding, you begin walking with Tighnari only to overhear a discussion between a parent and someone you didn't like the look of.

"Your son will be safe with us, rest assured." You hear the other person say. You tell Tighnari you'll catch up, and you make eye contact with the parent. Thankfully, it's discrete enough that the other person didn't suspect anyone was listening in. You shake your head, mouthing the words 'dont do it'.

"Thank you for the offer, I truly appreciate it." The parent starts. "However, I must turn this down."

The person sighs, clearly frustrated because this parent didn't fall for the trap that others did. You hide behind a crate, waiting until the other person is away and knocking on the door. They see you, and they demand an answer.

"I have reason to believe your son would be taken advantage of if you were to hand him over." You explain. "Was this organisation the Fatui, by any chance?" You ask after getting a look of confusion. The parent nods, and you can't help but feel relieved you overheard the transaction. "Believe me, their intentions are not pure." You finish, the parent staring at you as they take the information in.

"But my son's condition is complex." The parent queries.

"If you would like, I can keep an eye on your son's condition." You begin. "I started a course on this condition. If you like, you can check me."

The parent does so, and they nod slowly. It's like they're debating on something, but you brush it off. They thank you, accepting the offer and wishing you a safe journey home.

The walk back felt tense, for lack of a better word.

Tighnari had an expression of unease, staring ahead and not responding when you asked him if he found the book useful. After you look at him out of concern, he closes his eyes in thought before stopping.

"The book was insightful." He bluntly explains before walking ahead.

You have a feeling he's been told something, but you know better than to ask him to just tell you.

You are introduced to Collei, who takes interest in you immediately. You don't disclose where you're from, knowing from her history that she would fear you simply because of your origins. Collei can't help but laugh when she notices you look over at master Tighnari with a look that wasn't purely professional, stifling it when Tighnari raises a brow, asking her what was so funny.

Following her patient journey was certainly enlightening. For whatever reason, Tighnari informed you right before Collei woke up about the Fatui and what they did to her, and you remember the disgusting way your brother took joy in recording the patients he received on that day.

Collei never mentioned it, and you decided you wouldn't press her on it. The time she jolted after you brushed past her, you understood completely, apologising to her at the exact same time she did to you.

Tighnari started trusting you, but he didn't like the fact you never disclosed to him personally your relation to 'the doctor'. He waited, hoping you would tell him soon enough, only to become frustrated when it didn't happen.

One night, you three were out on a job, and Tighnari was asleep, Collei sitting with you while you examined her. Hearing someone in the distance, you look over to see a ginger haired man wave you over.

"Who's that?" Collei asks, you thinking of a good excuse to figure it out yourself.

"Oh, that's one of the parents of the patients I look after." You smile to make it convincing. "I'll be back in just a moment. If something happens, call me over."

You walk over, the man smiling and going along with the act until he was certain nobody else was paying attention.

"You're going to need to come with me." The man starts.

"And who are you go tell me so?" You bite back, the man chuckling lightly at your response.

"Tartaglia, 11th of the Fatui harbingers."

He takes note of how your eyes widen.

"Your brother really doesn't appreciate the lack of patients he's getting from Sumeru, and it started after you moved out." He explains. "He's going to start looking for you personally."

"Oh, thats certainly interesting!" You smile, Tartaglia sighing out.

"Listen, if you come with be back to the Fatui, we will train you to be whatever you want." He tries to convince you.

"I'd rather die." You say without hesitation. Tartaglia raises a brow. "I don't care what the Fatui can give me, I don't want to be associated with my brother's line of work."

Tartaglia rubs the back of his head, awkwardly looking away.

"Listen, you don't have much of a choice." Tartaglia sighs out.

"Give me a week to reconsider, please." You might as well try, right? After all, you knew this guy had siblings, and he would protect them to the best of his ability. Plus, the phrasing implied you would eventually fall into their hands.

"...Fine." he admits defeat. "You aren't gonna put up a fight if I were to deny you that anyway."

Returning back to camp, you see Tighnari glaring holes into you. Letting out a shaky sigh, you wave in hopes of him reciprocating it.

The fact he didn't let you know he heard most of the conversation.

You sit down, looking over at Collei who was sound asleep. Tighnari leans over, whispering into your head so he didn't disturb Collei with any of the information.

"Do you intend on handing Collei over?" Tighnari asks, his glare hardening.

"No." You respond softly.

"Why don't I believe that?" He continues.

"Because you know who my brother is." You respond. Tighnari keeps looking, not whispering anything else in the moment. "You associate me with him."

"...And why didn't you admit you were related to him? Don't tell me you're doing this to correct his wrongdoings." He continues to interrogate you.

You tear up, the weight of the situation slamming down on you.

"Because I knew you would label me to be exactly like him." You respond. "Truthfully, I feel stupid for only recently discovering what he does."

Tighnari lets you take a moment to breathe, pulling away from your ear. A tear falls, Tighnari doesn't seem to care. Why would he, considering what he knew since day one.

"...I don't know what I can do." You start once again. "I want to stay and complete my studies, but I trust you know why I couldn't safely do so." Tighnari nods, eyes looking over. "But I don't want to go to the Fatui, especially knowing their less than ethical actions."

Tighnari doesn't talk, hoping to see if you add anything else.

"If I'm spotted by the Fatui in a week's time in Sumeru, not only will I be punished, but anyone housing me will be hurt." You sigh, making sure Collei is still asleep so she didn't hear any of this.

"...I'll take care of this myself." You reaffirm yourself. "Don't look for me. Tell Collei I have a placement, or maybe say I've been moved into another area. " You explain.

"But what about you?" Tighnari suddenly asks out of concern, standing up at the same time as you do.

"Let me worry about that, okay?" You shakily let out, brushing off the hand that manages to reach you before you begin to execute your plan.

First step, you go to the academy the next day and inform them you are dropping out. You will also inform the parents that you have been keeping safe with your personal knowledge of the Fatui. Thankfully, the parents take it well, some of them explaining they had a feeling it was bound to happen. When you ask them to keep each other safe, they nod in understanding.

The next step, you find the parts of Sumeru that the Fatui don't have interest in. At first, you thought abandoned camps would do the trick until you had a very close call, almost being caught sleeping by a Fatui agent. You figure out that chances are, they had an idea of where you usually stayed because of your academic background, you have to think of perhaps going towards the areas where you weren't as likely to spot people who took pride in academic intelligence, but rather in trades.

You had a long road ahead of you, you realise as you set up camp just outside of Port Ormos.

#gender neutral reader #genshin impact imagines #angst #tighnari x gender neutral reader #tighnari #collei #dottore #tartaglia

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aka-trashrat · 6 months

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It's so sad that the books had so little content about Kom'rk, Prudii and A'den. What's your take on them, could you share some headcanons?

Right?? I wish there was a bit more on them, but like so many characters with little interaction, we can glean some info from the canon and extrapolate from there.

Bear in mind that my headcanons (below the cut) are my interpretation and they're subject to change at any given moment if someone has a better idea! I'm always rotating these boys in my brain like rotisserie chickens.

Kom'rk

he's an insufferable asshole 80% of the time

and yet somehow he comes out quite charming when he wants to be

not terribly chatty by default, preferring to let his marks do the work for him

but he does a good job of taking subtle command of conversations and getting them moving in directions that suit his needs.

Physically, I like the idea of him growing his hair out a bit while in the field with Jaing, but I doubt it's accurate given Kal's weird obsession with Boys Must Have Short Hair that was probably drilled into him from a very young age.

I still give him longer hair because fuck you Kal Skirata

I've assigned him black and navy (and red accents??) as his Mando Beskar'gam colours

I think that in a sniper/spotter team, Kom'rk would be the spotter and Jaing would be the sniper

Oh!! He's really calm under pressure. Very hard to crack!

A social chameleon but on the opposite end of Mereel's style. He prefers to wait and see while Mereel seems to be more about poking the bear to see what it will do.

Prudii

He's apparently a glib cynic, but I see him as more of a realist with a dark sense of humor

He's got a bit of the gallows humor going on, but that's an expected coping mechanism for... well, his whole life

Working alone makes him a bit weird and reintegrating socially is definitely an interesting experience

He pairs nicely with A'den, with how casual they are about rank and all that shit

I dunno, I just think he's neat and I'm still getting to know him

A'den

The most dateable Null ARC

Legit, he's so normal (for a Null ARC) and has a wicked sense of humor (dark gallows humor like everyone else in their situation)

Has a red hot temper but he keeps a good lid on it (this is canon)

Sharp tongue, quick wit, can and will murder you with words

Looks good in coveralls

Sneaky stealthy man (I mean, they all are)

He might actually enjoy homesteading or bushcrafting if given the opportunity after the war

Whiiiiiich is making me think of Beekeeper!A'den which is adorable lol

Give him a little hobby farm and he'd be good as gold.... definitely not thinking of a postwar AU where he does just that

A mystery man rolls into town and puts down roots, says he's Nobody Special and has a vegetable garden and some nuna and some honeybees and a significant arsenal of weapons stashed all over the farm. It's ok though cuz he's a good neighbour who helps out when a tractor breaks down or whatever. (and he operates a Rebellion numbers station but shhhh, he's a good man)

I think something's awakened in me.......

#possum answers #kom’rk skirata #prudii skirata #a'den skirata #null arcs #republic commando #i have repcomm brainrot #and i accidentally came up with an AU in this one whoops

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whispers-of-lilith · 6 months

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Lilith, who're your top 8 One Piece loves?

Star! Hi & thank you for popping in 🥺 Honestly, I had to think about this for a hot minute bc my brain has been hard focused on JJK lol.

Buckle up, bc this is going to be a long ass ride.

Liliths Top 8 One Piece Loves

Silvers "Dark King" Rayleigh

While I do love young Rayleigh when he was in his "prime", I will always choose older Rayleigh. It's no secret that this man definitely slept around at some point in his life. Not only does he have experience, but he knows exactly how to utilize all the skills he's learned over the years.

Rayleigh has stamina for days [ie. when his ship sank & he casually swam to Amazon Lily], he knows how to please, how to edge, etc. He could fuck me for days, to where I couldn't walk, but he wouldn't even have broken a sweat.

He seems like a fun person to be around & honestly I could see myself spending nights sitting in his lap while he drinks & tells stories of all the crazy shit he's done.

Dracule Mihawk

Ah, the dark, broody man who lives alone on an island. Literally my ideal type, bc dealing with people is hard & I'd rather spend my days on a rainy island in a massive castle.

I've probably said this one too many times, but whenever it rains I always have the urge to get railed by Mihawk next to the fireplace in his library. You just know he has a plush rug in front of it & if you bother him enough while he's reading? Best be prepared because he's going to teach you a lesson & you sure as shit can't finish until he finishes the chapter he's reading.

We could just enjoy the quiet together, I'm okay with spending time with someone even if we're doing our own thing.

Shanks

Shanks is like the golden retriever to my black cat. He doesn't take life too seriously [unless the situation calls for it & fuck if he isn't sexy when he's serious]. He knows how to have fun & would probably have the easiest time relaxing me simply by just cuddling with me.

Another man who clearly sleeps around, but knows exactly what he's got & how to please. I'm easily embarrassed & Shanks loves to embarrass, it's just in his nature.

I will always be a blushing, stuttering mess when it comes to this man's charms & I wouldn't have it any other way.

Benn "Big Dick" Beckman

You can't really have Shanks without Benn, or Benn without Shanks for that matter. Where Shanks throws caution to the wind, Benn is there to keep his ass in line.

He's gruff, stoic at times, doesn't seem to talk much, but will go feral when it comes to protecting something or someone he loves. Also, if you couldn't tell by the title I gave him, I just know this man is HUGE.

I'd melt if he called me "princess", "kitten", "pet" or anything along those lines and it's always a bonus when he follows it with a smirk. I'm down for a good railing sesh whenever he gets frustrated with Shanks [which is often].

[I just need to be eifle towered by Shanks & Benn, it'd probably solve 90% of my problems]

Charlotte Katakuri

Clearly I like the quiet / strong type if this list is any indication. Let's get the obvious out of the way first, Katakuri can & will split me in half with that dick & if that's how I go– then so be it.

I love a man with tattoos & have you seen his body?? Absolute perfection. Don't mess with the people he loves unless you have a death wish, he can & will obliterate you on sight if you do.

When he's not going feral in battle, his quiet & calculating personality is precious. He seems like the type to be easily flustered & I'd love to push him a bit so I could see his little blush. Idk he's just precious & adorable & needs to be protected at all costs.

[Ps. Would climb him like a koala]

Trafalgar Law

I loved him before I even met him in the anime. Fell for the scrungly, tired, lanky man seated on a box in Saboady. I even went as far as to cosplay a fem!Law for one of my first cons.

Again, another broody, quiet, tired man to add to my list. We're literally one in the same, we hyperfixate on things & neither of us sleep. So I know he'll always be awake at 3am to listen to me ramble about all the stupid facts I know.

Also, tbh, the tattoos do something for me. I mean, watching as his death tattoos disappear inside with each stroke? Fuck. Jsjdjajsbbxjsj. He is another one that flusters easy, but if you push him too far he 100% lets his dom side out.

Sir Crocodile

Sir Crocodile, hng. Money laundering? My man would never [yes he would & we live well bc of it, so no I'm not snitching]. I could sit in his lap like a perfect little kitten, whether he's sitting in on meetings or just enjoying a cigar, just lemme me on the big mans lap.

Lo said it best earlier, the rings. THE RINGS AND MAKING YOU CLEAN THEM JAHDUSJHAJAI. To be dominated by him would be a dream, he's so smug & cocky & ugh.

I would be his little princess, my self respect would go out the window. He 100% showers you with gifts just bc he can & he loves when you wear things he's bought you.

King [Alber]

Oh, what do you know, another quiet, strong, stoic man... see a theme here? Another man who would split me in half & I'd say thank you for doing so.

Just. His hair. His wings. His face tattoo. Everything about him was perfectly sculpted from the heavens & simply looking at him makes my day better.

On days when it's cold he could wrap us both in his wings & I'd fucking melt into a puddle. He's the type of man to be cold towards others, except for the person he loves & I'm all here for it.

#whispered asks #whispered moots #lilith and star #silvers rayleigh #shanks #benn beckman #Crocodile op #mihawk #dracule mihawk #king one piece #crocodile one piece #trafalgar law #Charlotte Katakuri #whispered thirsts

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cyndrastic · 8 months

Text

ok so y’all seemed to like the first part of the Fairly Odd Parents AU so here’s more characters!!

Tolkien and Jimmy are AJ and Chester!! They’re Clyde’s best (and only) friends at school! As I was making this au I realized how oddly well Tolkien and Jimmy actually match AJ and Chester character wise, so not much has to be changed for them honestly. Meanwhile I needed a character to be Vicky so I figured “hey Clyde has a sister doesn’t he?” so boom there she is.

more in depth character descriptions under the cut for those who want them!

Tolkien is the smart rich kid who tries and generally fails to talk sense into Jimmy and Clyde, and is the only one of the three with any brain cells. Also probably the only neurotypical one of the three. He’s also the only one in school who will point out when stuff randomly changes, usually in benefit of Clyde. Like, he’s the one who always notices when Clyde suddenly has a new super expensive looking bike, or he’s suddenly the most popular guy in school for like 3 days before everything just goes back to how it was for no reason. Tolkien is the only one who notices and is concerned with this.

These changes are obviously Clyde making wishes, and it scares Tweek that Tolkien will eventually figure out that Clyde has fairy god parents. Tweek wants to wipe Tolkien’s memory every time he notices a spell, but Clyde and Craig stop him. Craig thinks it’s hilarious because in all his time being a godparent, no godkid’s friends have ever noticed anything wrong until Tolkien, so he’s automatically Craig’s second favorite human (second to Clyde).

He rewards Tolkien for this by letting him be the only human that can hold or play with him when he’s in his pet form (like how Cosmo and Wanda become goldfish, Craig is a guinea pig) without getting bit when the trio hangs out at Clyde’s house.

Jimmy, for the sake of this au, will not be as dirt poor as Chester is in the actual show cause idk what good that does for this au lol. Otherwise Jimmy is the wisecracking friend who has a good heart and pure intentions most of the time but covers it with crude humor and kinda offensive jokes. Also he sucks at reading a room (me coded) and can never tell when his comedic genius won’t be appreciated (the deleted scene of him making a joke about Clyde killing his mom to Clyde like the day after it happened lives in my head rent free it’s so funny) His hair is also wavy cause I said so and that’s just how I like to draw Jimmy, i do what i want.

Also, just like how Tolkien is Craig’s second favorite human, Jimmy is Tweek’s. Most of the time when Jimmy cracks a joke, even if it’s a supremely unfunny one, Tweek laughs at it. Tweek’s pet form is a parrot, so that means if he’s chilling as an animal he can still talk and laugh. Jimmy thinks it’s hilarious that Clyde’s bird finds him so funny and Jimmy will frequently go to Clyde’s house to write and test out new comedy routines for Tweek because he’s “such a terrific audience.” Craig kinda hates it but won’t object because Tweek genuinely enjoys it.

Clyde and Craig don’t understand how Tweek finds Jimmy genuinely funny all the time, but it’s literally only because Tweek has spent the majority of his life around Craig, who is incredibly blunt, sarcastic to a fault, and so unfunny it hurts. Craig is only ever funny by being overtly honest when he doesn’t need to be (autism moment), and couldn’t make a normal joke if his life depended on it (if i may remind anyone of the Craig clip: “i got a good one: why do girls wear makeup and perfume? because they’re ugly and they stink” this man would not know a joke if it punched him in the face)

Lizzie is Clyde’s older sister. Shes a good bit older than him, Clyde being around 15 years old and her being around 22. She’s a massive bitch and has always been mean to Clyde, but it got worse once their mom died and she blamed it on Clyde (Betsy died the same way in canon as in this au, so it is kinda Clyde’s fault but still, he was 8). Luckily with her being way older than Clyde, she lives at college, but he has to deal with her whenever she goes home and during her school’s breaks. She takes Vicky’s role in this au so even if she isn’t an evil babysitter, she acts similarly to Clyde as Vicky does to Timmy.

She’s one of the reasons Clyde even gets god parents: abusive older sister, dead mom who’s death was because of him, crazy teacher (Garrison is his own level of traumatizing just as he is in the canon of the show but i haven’t decided if i wanted him to be exactly like Crocker yet), and Roger (Clyde’s dad) is ok but he’s kinda neglectful cause he’s mourning his wife and has to work double to support his kids now that Betsy is dead.

#south park #south park fanart #south park au #cyn art #south park art #fairly odd parents sp au #<- idk what tag to use for now #clyde donovan #clyde’s sister #tolkien black #token black #jimmy valmer #sp clyde #clyde sp #tolkien sp #sp tolkien #sp token #jimmy sp #sp jimmy

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tomatoart · 1 year

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mwah your art is good and nice :>

can I ask for some advice? no worries if u don't want to answer.

do you have any tips on how exactly to practice art? everytime I ask for art advice everyone always says "practice" but idk what to practice first! do you have any strategies for learning how to draw something? do you do excercises? and if so how do they work?and are there any beginner mistakes I should look out for and change specifically?

thank you so much!! have a wonderful week :>

thank you so much! im ok w answering! i dont want to speak as if i am an expert on how to draw things in general as i am learning as well and definitely am not completely learned, so i might not be the best person to ask since im not very professional w my art as I do it as a hobby (and I can only speak on mostly digital cartoon matters) but i reallly hope to try and help u out even a lil ! im really happy that you’re eager to draw :] I wish you so much luck muwah muwah

i also hated when ppl told me “just practice” and i dont wanna inflict tht on u EITHER LOL but also thats just what i ended up doing for awhile but i tried to find some things to help ^_^

tips for practice: My number one rule is that practices should be challenging but still fun, I know it can get frustrating trying to redraw a pose over and over trying to get it perfect. And over time it rlly is all about muscle memory, the longer you draw the more your eyes will pick out specific shapes in everyday life and convert them into its own vision of them! or at least its good to look at life that way, try to pin point key shapes and stress less on details in practices. after you look at key points, THEN you can go over what you have and draw in and over it to make it more “complete.” To stop practices from getting too stressful I recommend starting out drawing what you want a little more simple looking than ur desired finished product. This helps eliminate the pressure of everything not looking “perfect” and keeps your art more loose and fun. Doing this a few times is gonna get ur brain to recognize patterns in art and how things look/flow in anatomy and such. dont get stuck in ur own head abt perfecting everything to the point you either 1) give up bc ur not at a level capable of it being 100% “perfect” or 2) focus so much on making it perfect that you end up saying the work looks “wonky” or stale in dynamics, So while I do think studies help, don’t get too lost in them. I always practice with media I enjoy too, whether it’s characters or fashion I enjoy.

Strategies learning to draw something: people get mad abt this one but I think tracing reference photos is great. its been awhile but When I tried learning to draw hands better at first I would trace them then put the traced image to the side of the canvas, then try and replicate what my mind saw as its most important angles and aspects. Same for clothing folds/hair/etc! I think it’s maybe not the best idea to trace the ref and use the tracings as is, because you learn more from tracing it then trying to replicate and simplify what u learned into the style you’re working in. Find what shapes you like from them and don’t over detail it. you may have to go by eye and think “what parts of this ref photo should i simplify to fit my style” and for me, its usually adjusting the length of the torso and then the limbs by associations. i dont recommend feeling like u need a reference for every art you make though, its ok to let ur own head try out its own sometimes too while trying to learn this, see if it remembers any call bad from the past referenced sketches! over time ull remember where everything goes more, these days i rarely kick myself to use refs but im sure they still would help to use, but figure drawing simple blobby figure in a bunch of random poses was a big thing i used to do as well to get better at full body art + overall dynamics (still does this). also paying attention to silhouettes is great

Exercises and how they work: I WANNA HELP U SO BAD BUT to be honest, all the works on my blog ARE exercises! i rarely actually do finished pieces, if u scroll thru my posts ull notice most r sketches. i usually just fill up a page and call it “warm ups” then i get attached to some of them, take a few, and just line them up pleasingly on a smaller page, then color them in (or sometimes fix the lines to be more clean too). im not rlly a person who “exercises” to practice, it more so happens from just me drawing a lot for fun as a hobby! but i really should. i will tell u this has humbled me a lil i need to start practicing too 😭 LOL but a good exercise is to look at what ur inspirations do, and study it. Make a collage and write out what you like most abt their styles/what u want to gain from them. For ref Here’s a page I did awhile ago when someone asked me abt my insps:

i also look at fashion magazines and as well as anime figures and take insps from that sometimes with learning cool poses and compositions to convert into my own things

Beginner mistakes to look out for: its hard for me to pin point “mistakes” beginners make, as sometimes we cant avoid all of them or even notice them, progress comes from growing out of old ways. some mistakes are even the foundation of ur future amazing cool style! but i think some things to look out for could be these, from my own old art experiences

Hands were the first thing I learned bc i liked drawing them. I don’t know if that is the best way to go but I think it is smart to practice sooner than later, here is a lil guide thingggyyy wingyyy from awhle ago

i see beginners shy away from drawing signs of age in people, sometimes adding too much detail on an older person in cartoon art makes it look weird, so i try and hit the key markings on ppls faces of age.

Too thin of lines. sometimes its a stylistic choice to use thin lineart, and it can look amazing ! but sometimes it can flatten an image if ur not familiar with its flow. im not saying use thick line art, but more so to keep in mind the weight of ur strokes, adding depth with a thick thin combo of line art can do SO much for the simplest of pieces. heres a visual from a while back when i talked abt my brush + more abt lines:

but if ur desired style is thin lineart that is cool too! tbh it was just harder for me as a beginner

sometimes artists think they need to do full lineart for everything and then hate how it looks compared to the sketch, do not fear i will introduce u to my bff: painting over a sketch, extractinging the lines, then calling it line art. i only do this sometimes but its a fun exercise-ish thing to do in a pinch. example:

finding what shading fits ur art. sometimes ill see ppl starting out who have a style thats very simple, but they use a very detailed rendering process on it. this is not something id ever police of course, art is each persons own choice! And it CAN work. It can be so cute! but sometimes mixing two very contrasting mediums of art can throw off the “put together” look of it. i use to abuse the airbrush tool thinking it made my simple style look super cool and detailed, but looking back on it now those pieces looked a little off, having such a simple style have somewhat more realistic shading. dont get me wrong the ability i see ppl use rendering like that is so insanely talented! but i found cellshading to be a good match for cartoony art like my own. a tip i learned way too late abt that is rather than shading each layer by color picking a darker color, instead use a clipping mask over the entire art (above line art too as I color my lineart) and lasso tool the areas u want shaded + fill it w a saturated purple then set to multiply + lower opacity. also, sometimes coloring can come out chalky looking when u meant for it to be smooth and transitional, i think this comes from overshading and overlighting pieces without reason. pay attention to where the light source is, and focus on making the shaded and lighter areas nice shapes that cover the necessary areas, then u can add additional shading to the smaller details of what should have a casted shadow/light

its good to spice up ur art now rather than later, focusing making ur art pop more w backgrounds will help ur coloring skills look better too! i dont mean detailed huge backgrounds, a small lil color pallet and design rather than a blank white bg. like this will make u feel better abt it or at least it helped me *sweats* yeah:

beginners tend to draw blank faces like “:)” but I think a good thing to do is try and get silly with expressions early on. It’s okay if the mouth hangs off the face cartoonishly with joy or shock, it’s ok if the eyebrows are super high in surprise.

tracing and pasting it as is (already said this but I’ve seen ppl do it a lot with hair styles and it makes it look alienated from the rest of the style) (final fantasy fans found critically injured) n if need a ref for a pose, using a real humans anatomy as-is doesn’t look quite right on a cartoonyish drawing. Shortening torso and legs usually comes out of this for me!

flip ur canvas i promise u it’ll be less embarrassing over time!

using guidelines for perspective and foreshortening is GREAT. Do it stylistically rather than realistically to add some groove to it...yay. Having silly perspective in art can make it look like a 10 so easily opposed to a normal front facing sketch. Look at cool poses from fashion magazines! Don’t be scared to draw something you don’t feel confident in conveying perfectly, this is why progress redraws exist :)

Drawing the hairline b4 u draw the hair is great, it helps u understand where their hair flows from, where it starts and stops, AND prepares u for drawing bald ppl. Also don’t make the head too big, the skull IS bigger up top, but sometimes I see an alien head affect.

Anatomy is an interesting mistake that beginners make a lot, but it’s one they find harder to notice! When I started out, all my art would be SO wonky, but I didn’t even realize it! It still happens today too! specifically though I see beginners struggle with the arms in this department. My advice is to try and measure them out and make sure they don’t go past the knees, and are the same length as each other when Unfolded. asking for criticism is hard but it helped me realize when i would make something bigger/longer than it should have been in my art, and stuck with me being able to go “oh... i see it LOL”

clothing wrinkles- do not over do it! Too many wrinkles and shading can look unpleasant and wirey- like a plastic table cloth all bunched up which isn’t exactly what ppl wear. pay attention to gravity too

I hope this helped even a lil im sorry tht I’m not very good at explaining or didn’t have much to sayyy! If u have any troubles no guarantee I’ll have the answer, but ur always free to ask!

#asks #faq #I hope ur week is going good n that u’ll have fun creating 💙🐠#long post #not tomaart

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i-sveikata · 1 month

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Hii :)

I discovered your vegaspete fic a while ago when you were still around chapter 13, and I think it's safe to say it has changed my life. I remember putting off everything just to catch up on all the chapters when I was about 2 paragraphs in chapter 1 realising I found gold, and I remember spending every waking moment thinking about that fic and even now I think about it at the very least once a week, it's insanely good. :D Once I caught up on the chapters I had so many question, so I used my notes app to put my questions and thoughts down. With my list of questions in hand I decided to read the whole thing again see if I missed anything. Reading the story the second time was just as good and I found I missed so many little details and nuances-and all of my questions were answered for me. You're brilliant, I could sing your praises all day if I had the words! Their characterisation is the best thing I have ever read honestly, so complex and so human!!!

I was in the middle of preparations for my final exams when chapter 16 came out then not shortly after you released chapter 17 and I swore to myself that reading those chapters would be my treat after getting through my exams. I knew that reading them before my exams would easily take up 90% of my brain capacity for weeks, so I had to make some sacrifices. Well, I'm all caught up on the chapters and I am SO VERY tempted to read the whole thing again. I thought that the story would get boring or predictable after a while but no you've proved me wrong. My jaw is on the floor and I can't even imagine how the story will continue, but I can't wait to find out.

I've been meaning to say hello and let you know I admire your work and I am very grateful that you share this masterpiece with us, but I just never really knew how to say it. :D I'm here to show my support and let you know I wish you nothing but the very best. THANK YOU :)

Oh lucky you!! It’s always great to come in at least a couple chapters in because you’ve got a good starting point already- not like the wonderful readers who’ve been in the trenches from the first chap and waiting patiently for updates ever since 😂

Omg that’s so sweet of you to say I’m so glad it left such an impression on you! Lol I totally resonate with the needing to take notes part because this badboy is LONG hahhaha (I literally have a notes page at the beginning of my word doc to keep track of all the details lol)

Ahhhh we love a reread! So fun to discover all the things that you might not have picked up on or realised they were going to be more significant than a throwaway line. Thank you! You are honestly so nice to say so the characterisation is such a core part of this fic (and tbh the focus of all my brain worms about these two dudes lol) so I’m so happy to hear you’ve enjoyed it!!

Oh of course of course having more fic chaps as a treat is honestly such a fun way to go about it I hope your exams went well and you’re happy to see the back of them!

Lol hahha very easy to stay unpredictable when these two characters are essentially batshit for one another- that’s an endless treasure trove of inspo in my opinion hahaha but thank you for the compliment! Ah thanks I do hope you like the rest it’s been such a wild and unexpected journey!!

Thank you for coming to say hello and share your thoughts (also you’ve said it all perfectly there’s no rules on what to say beyond basic human politeness with these things and I do honestly love to hear what you all think) thank you for your support it’s so meaningful to me how wonderful you all have been and you’re so welcome 💛

#fic asks #ill fill the graveyards until i have you

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seariii · 5 months

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Hi Seari 😭 sorry to flood your ask box again lol, but I just wanted to let you know how I appreciate how appreciative you are if that makes sense? You always take the time to thank everyone frequently, you’re eloquent with your words, and you just have this air of gratitude with you where ever you go. And I really admire that about you <3 I want to strive to personally work on that because it’s difficult for my brain to comprehend those kinds of things for myself, so I wanted to let you know how you’ve inspired me to work towards that <3 ilu and thank you so much for being you

aw rose.... this made me really soft.... i love you a lot, really. and dont apologize, you can flood my ask box with more than 20 questions/messages a day and i'll be extremely happy

serious talk for a little bit hahaha... ill put it under the cut because i started rambling and got a bit long.... YOU DONT HAVE TO READ ALL THAT OKAY???? just the last paragraph, thats a message for you

tldr of the serious talk under the cut: Unknown Mother Goose by Wowaka (i also really liked this adaptation) "Even if the world were to reject me today, would i still be able to sing a song of love?"

i never really thought about that, you know? i enjoy telling people how i feel about them, especially to people i love. and im thinking for how long have i done this... when did i start... im not entirely sure... i can go far back when i barely did it, but did it every once in a while like a birthday or when i started to notice the people around me werent giving up on me... and i can go back relatively recently where this feelings landed me in a kind community during covid...

in all honesty, i believe this feelings of gratefulness, of having to express them come from being scared of losing people... come from a lonely place... when you feel cold or have felt cold for so long that you dont remember much warmth, when you find that warmth its soft, gentle, and a little overwhelming... i have many problems connecting with people, and in my own brain, sometimes i feel like im all alone in the world... but... people are warm... people are kind... you, them, make it feel like maybe the entities around me arent just faceless shadows...

i joke with my bestie about how we are that meme of "nothing in life matters" but im the happy one and hes the existential one, but a lot of time i truly feel like that. and from that, makes it easier to enjoy the little sweet stuff, the sweetness of the people around me... and its impressive when i notice that sometimes it doesnt have any reason behind it, or that the reason is just love... its like my brain cant comprehend others doing stuff out of love for the world, so i always get surprised when someone does it for me (and oh boy have i been surprised to tears with you all pretty people)... i think life is a little silly and there isnt much meaning, but that gives us freedom... and that makes everything a person does beautiful...

... you know rose? thank you. i feel like im about to cry hahahahaha /pos ... thank you for always being so kind, so sweet to me, you make me feel like things are okay, and it genuinely makes me happy to see you or interact or talk with you. it made me really happy that you wanted to include me in the conversation, in the group. im someone who feels lonely easily, and the kindness you've shown me has really made me happy and... i really appreciate it... sometimes i say i dont have the words and still try to express myself, because i want to make my message get across... like right now in this paragraph hahaha.... you are someone who i really really appreciate and i just wish to see you happy and achieve everything you want. just know that no matter what, ill be rooting for you, you truly deserve everything in this world, thats how i feel.... im thankful and moved that i inspired you... i never thought id have that effect on people... thank you

#i'll infodump you about my last 2 kids after i arrange some stuff i have pending on my to do list #i love you a lot... and i love all the warm people where a lot...#MORE SEARI LORE IS DROPPING JSJSJSJSJS #sorry if it was heavy or anything #seari talks #seari answers

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rosesradio · 3 months

Text

fanfic ask game

i saw this ask game i wasn’t tagged in so let’s do it 🤠 & i’ll tag whoever wants to do it as well

1. how many works do you have on Ao3?

27 :-)

2. what's your total Ao3 word count?

466,409 (oh cool i’ll most likely hit 500k by the end of the year 💪)

3. what fandoms do you write for?

currently pjo & once in a blue moon hsmtmts, but i have written for like 10-12 different fandoms in my life

4. what are your top five fics by kudos?

ceaseless eve 🌙 (a leo, nico, & piper quest + valdangelo)

camp triple pine 🌲 (a lawrusso summer camp au with fwb 👀)

talk to me, deep in the night (& i’d tell you something i never thought i’d admit) 🏕️ (a surprisingly non-smutty first caswen fic in which ricky talks with ej about how he works too hard, written in s3 era)

Cobra Kai/Karate Kid one shots 🥋 (fluff, humor, angst, smut…what it says on the tin 🤠)

he’s only here for one thing, but (so am i) 🔥 (valdangelo college au smut + camboy nico 👀)

(because i can’t tell a lie, i did skip over one or two stranger things fics on this list. i have complex feelings about them & keeping them up due to the controversy, but also abandoning them or deleting them…i’m sentimental, and i procrastinate lol. i’m glad a higher volume of people enjoyed them by nature of it being a more popular fandom, but i also feel like the kudos aren’t as genuine or earned as they are for my longfics in less popular fandoms for that reason. at least To Me. i hope that makes sense 🧍)

5. do you respond to comments?

i try to reply to every comment around the first week of posting something (because by then it’s an “old work” and it’s “weird” to comment on it, but that’s another post 😐). i still haven’t replied to the last of the ceaseless eve comments & i feel terrible, the sentimentality of it all overwhelms me but know i appreciate it 😭 i wish there was like a code word though that people could comment that lets you know if they want you to respond or not, because it’s hard to know if people want an author response or if it’ll scare them off yk

6. Which of your fics has the angstiest ending?

i don’t do a lot of angst, but when i do, i do (meaning i lay it on too melodramatically thick lmao) but i thought i’d give a list of some of my angstiest/darkest fics 🤠

the moonlace & the sunflower 🌻 (in which grover dies protecting a demigod, so the empathy link causes percy to pass away as well)

games long lost 🌳 (in which luke must drink annabeth’s blood for kronos’s reformation, it covers the dark lukabeth of it all & there’s some death)

the smallest casualty ♟️ (in which it’s slowly revealed over the course of a luke & annabeth chess game that the gods lost the war, and percy & friends have been subjected to dark magic experiments to make them compliant to luke’s fantasy)

rewired 🤖 (okay. i usually try to be humble or self deprecating or whatever but this 1400 word fic is an actual fucking masterpiece to me idc. it just came out of me and makes me physically nauseous to this day. showing this to my hypothetical therapist etc etc. oh wait what’s it about lmao—the concept of daniel rewiring his brain & morals to fit into silver’s desires. ft that sick sick silverusso dynamic)

7. Which of your fics has the happiest ending?

i have a variety of fluffy fics, but i’d have to say my happiest most sugar coated ending is—

who said anybody would? (a ej/gina/ricky road trip fic that literally ends with an ot3 picnic scene 😭 it’s just too much 🫶)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

i’ve gotten unwarranted criticism (i like to ask for constructive crit comments at the end if it’s like a longfic) that’s been surprisingly rude…i won’t say which fic but someone got so mad at one of my chapters they left a lengthy mocking crit comment and then stopped reading 😭 but that’s their prerogative, i hope they found something they enjoyed afterwards. other than that, surprisingly considering some of the controversial dark fics i’ve written…no sign of flames, so thanks! 😅

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

i have four different smut fics (hopefully a fifth if i can ever finish it up)…i fear they’re repetitive but also not really, they cover different fandoms and explore different kinks. i’m not really sure what to say about them, hopefully people find them hot ! or whatever !

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

i’m not a fan of crossovers currently, but my longest fic i wrote when i was 15 (it’s 97k i’m beating it someday 😭) was a crossover between sanders sides, voltron, miraculous ladybug, and gravity falls (doesn’t that feel like a kick in the gut lmao—did i mention i was 15? 😅)

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

not that i know of 👁️👁️

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

not that i know of 👁️👁️

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

i tried, myself and another author had a shared Google doc & everything…but we both just didn’t commit. i don’t think i’d work well with another writer…i don’t mind bouncing ideas around with a beta reader/editor (like @heavens-vault 🤠) but ultimately i’d prefer to write on my own

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

it changes—it’s currently valdangelo, but the ones I’ve written the most over the years are: prinxiety (😐), lawrusso, caswen, and valdangelo. i’m excited to explore a bunch of other ships as i continue writing as well

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

oh gosh, i mean i hope i don’t have any like longfics in question…i hope i can finish + deliver on Ivory Rain, but i’m sure I’ll manage even if it takes a while. i haven’t really mentioned this a whole lot to “the public” but i have what i call a “scrap fic” i’m working on, with a bunch of like 800 word chapters i just kinda bounce around when i have time. the concept is really exciting but the execution still needs work, so i’m kinda seeing how that’s gonna play out, it might not be posted. i hope it will though !

16. What are your writing strengths?

i think i’m pretty good at characterization, good romantic moments with good buildup, and humor :-)

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

action scenes i hate you so much 😭 why do i insist on writing pjo fics when i can hardly write a fight scene

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

i should do it more, i hate that i don’t, especially considering nico being Italian and leo’s native language being Spanish. but I’ve used & been disappointed by Google translate too many times…perhaps I’ll find another way to translate to include that for more character accuracy

19. First fandom you wrote for?

actually i think percy jackson, i’ve come full circle. the first fic i posted was sanders sides, but i remember when i was probably nine or so i wrote with pencil and paper and stapled a book together with a hand drawn cover 😭 it was about a son of Apollo, a satyr, and a daughter of Demeter on a quest…so really, richard took some creative liberties from my hand written fanfic i think 👀

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

like the ships, it changes—I love all my fics, it’s hard to explain how there’s little fractures of me at different points in my life at any given time in my works. no amount of over-explaining could make anyone understand how i express myself through my character’s emotions and desires and fears and journeys.

at the moment, my favorite fic is CE. it just got completed, myself and others are excited for the sequel. i think all my pjo works in particular are pretty good, and of course i tend to shy away from my older works because my writing…probably wasn’t as good. but that just means I’ve improved, so that’s good.

that’s all the questions, but this was fun ! :-)

#fanfic #ask game #rose’s asks #(of sorts)#pjo #hsmtmts #valdangelo #eh im not gonna tag all tha fandom stuff we’ll be here all day

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nyaniikat · 1 year

Note

Hello cat I just read your hawk x male reader one and it was so cute ahahahah🤍🤍🤍😭

For my request today, maybe a genshin boys x male reader Head canons of m!reader being shy and more smaller then them. If you don’t want to wright this it’s perfectly fine this was just an idea lol! Have a great day 🤍🤍🤍🤍🪴

Thank youuu!!!!! I'm glad you guys enjoyed it~ my brain was itching me to write something cute when I was trying to sleep.

I didn't finish making the other genshin guys headers so I hope the lil story at the end will make up for it

Please enjoy!

•---------•

Male reader

Fem aligned DNI

Masterlist

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷

You're my Shy little Shorty

・❥・There's no doubt this man will tease the living shit out of you. Who knew there would be a guy like you that would be short and adorable? anemo guys

・❥・You being short and small made it perfect for Kaeya to hold you. Kaeya enjoys hugging you from behind and resting his chin on the top of your head. Something about it just makes him feel relaxed knowing you are there for him when he needs to get some weight off his shoulders.

・❥・He didn't mind you being shy. Though he sometimes does find himself in a bit of trouble trying to understand what you're saying as your voice is so quiet but he does try his best!! he would ask you to repeat what you said slower and a bit louder which makes you panic, but he makes sure that you take nice slow deep breaths so your anxiety and panic won't affect you as much.

・❥・Despite your shy nature, you were quite a fighter and your confidence shoots up when you see a person needing help. Even though you were just someone who works at a bakery, that hydro vision of yours wasn't for nothing.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Kaeya sometimes wonders if there would be a time when he had to choose between his home or you. The thought of it made him feel uneasy as a sour face begins to set on his face, he didn't even realize he was battling himself in his head until you shook his shoulder snapping him out of his head.

"Are you alright dear? that was quite a face you made."

You looked at him with a worried look

'Oh how I wish I was born normal. Maybe I wouldn't be in a position like this.'

"Don't worry sweetheart, I'm just thinking of work stuff is all. It was quite a lot I had to handle today."

"Well if you ever need to let something out you can always come to me about it. Whether I understand it or not I'll listen to you any time."

Your soft smile and your kind eyes were something he could never get enough of. He didn't want this to go away ever so he pulled you close to him hugging you, feeling the tension on his shoulders fall off.

"Sweetheart you're so perfect for hugging you know that? you're so cute and small like a mouse~"

A visible blush appeared on your face, you lightly hit his chest in protest

"Can't we just have a moment where you don't point out how small I am??"

"Sorry sweetheart but you're my shy little shorty~"

・❥・You were but a simple pottery artist trying to make a living, but somehow you managed to land a big one by grabbing the attention of an older tall gentlemen who is now your boyfriend.

・❥・Zhongli never saw your small size or your shy personality as a hinderance instead he found it quite cute. He was a man with a lot of patience and respected your craft...well.. you just hope he was wise with his spending's sometimes. You always wondered how this man grew up to not carry mora constantly on hand

'He must've been suuuuppeerr rich before' you thought yeah man I wonder too

・❥・He would always wait to hear you out first due to your quiet voice, thankfully he had a good ear so no matter how quiet your voice gets he always seems to get what you're saying.

・❥・Zhongli enjoys being with and listening to you, even though you're quite shy and get scared to talk to people you sure did love to ramble about the little things in life. You could be talking about how you saw Beidous ship come by or how you pet a mother cat and gave her food and he would listen and listen. Smiling and giving his fullest attention to you and only you.

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ A sneeze echoed through the room. You weren't in your best condition at the current moment due to you coming back home drenched in rain water lately, the rain always had something against you. Every time you were on your way back home, the rain always poured down on you. Talk about bad luck, thankfully before you got jailed into bed by the cold, a young man with dark green hair and a polearm in hand helped you get home before it got worse outside.

He talked about how he's helping because he got tired of seeing you run and struggle through the rain despite there being clear signs of rain there were not any clear signs. You got home tired and cold, almost passing out from your body being unable to handle what you've been putting it through. Zhongli was there by the table when he saw you come through the door whilst sensing his yaksha linger nearby, knowing that someone he trusted brought you home before it got worse eased his mind however this did not stop him from feeling concerned that you were willing to run in the rain instead of waiting it out.

So now you were stuck in bed, trying your best to keep your eyes awake as you wait for Zhongli to finish with the herbal soup that's meant to make you feel better. A few more minutes has passed and your eyes got heavier, you decided to shut your eyes just so you wouldn't struggle to keep them open and without realizing you were fast asleep.

Zhongli walked in the room wanting to see if you were up to eat or not but saw you asleep. He silently walks to the bed sitting at the edge of it next to you. Brushing your hair to side of you face he decides to admire you. Even though he was angry with how you came back home he kept in mind that you always came back with a smile and a hug for him with some gifts in hand. He would have to ask Xiao to keep an eye on you when it starts to rain and escort you back home when he gets the chance. But this doesn't mean you weren't having a stern talk once you start feeling better.

"It seems I really can't get you out of my head y/n, you worry me sometimes"

Cupping his hand on your cheek and rubs his thumb against your face. You nuzzle into his hand finding comfort with it.

"You're my shy little shorty, I don't think I can ever get fully mad at you."

•---------•

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