#I’m using the character names bc it’s so much funnier when you think of who they played

[free-my-boy-grumbot]

Ranking the ASOUE parts because I’m bored and my friend isn’t online

i would love to keep it extensive but i also don’t want tumblr to crash so i will keep it brief. spoilers, obviously. also charcater death.

13. The Grim Grotto

Listen just because it’s 13th doesn’t mean it’s BAD, it just means i’m kinda indifferent to it as opposed to obsessing over it like i do with the others. It’s just that I’m not THAT into nautical themes and I have 2 nautical-themed assignments to do in school today so I’m a little sick of it.

Also, I’m just not that big on Fiona as a character. I didn’t really like the two-girls-hate-each-other-for-no-reason thing that she had going with Violet (especially because it was really out of charcater for her), her romance with Klaus seemed out of place, and her being related to Fernald just seemed like it was pulled out of nowhere to get an emotional reaction. Again, I get why you’d like her and the part, it’s just not for me personally. Also esme’s worst outfit was featured here. Also in the netflix series it just wasn’t as funny as the other ones and that’s a huge thing for me

12. The Wide Window

Honestly didn’t expect this one to be so low, but it’s difficult to choose between these bc i love them all </3 anyways I actually liked Josephine as a charcater, I like the idea that she wants to help the children but is rendered basically incompetent because of her fear, they really popped off with that. HOWEVER they did a very similar thing with Hector but way better so alas </3 12th place

Also like I said, not a massive fan of sea-themed aesthetics. Also also I LOVE all of count olaf’s disguises but I’m kind of indifferent to captain Sham so that also might be why. Also, again, the rest of the netflix series was way funnier

11. The Carnivorous Carnival

Honestly, not much to say about this one. The “not really feeling strongly one way or the other” section has come early this year apparently. Esme and Olivia both SLAYED in their outfits and we got introduced to the circus crew which was cool as fuck. Sadly I have knocked SEVERAL points off for horny count olaf. The scene where he describes madame lulu as buttered really makes you appreciate how little force it takes to rip one’s ear off. It provides me with a new and informed understanding of the phrase “skin crawling”. other than that it’s pretty good :)

10. The Slippery Slope

Now I was one of those people who didn’t know what Mount Fraught syndrome was before reading this book, and the reveal of why the mountain was named that fucking eviscerated me. I was used to this series pulling shit like this constantly and yet this one destroyed me for some reason. If you already knew what mount fraught syndrome was before reading/watching this scene then you didn’t get the full experience and i’m sorry for you.

I also don’t LOVE quigley and violet. I know i just said that about klaus and fiona so it kinda seems like i hate romance, but i really dont. i hate forced romance. romance just isn’t daniel handlers strong suit but he insists on writing it anyway, and that’s fine. it’s what i do with basically everything i write about. Especially since in the netflix series duncan also has a crush on violet so it’s kinda ??? for her to end up with quigley. like do you guys think when quigley and duncan reunited quigley told him about this really cool girl called violet he met and duncan was like “…”. anyways imagine getting cucked by your presumed dead twin brother could not be me

9. The Austere Academy

okay so i felt bad putting this lower because i know someone that really likes this part but i’m sorry it’s just kinda there. i mean it was super funny and the dead horse bit is literally everything but that’s pretty much it. idk maybe there’s a metaphor in there that i’m missing who knows

also olivia was introduced so bonus points for that i guess. she reminds me of miss honey from matilda <33

8. The Ersatz Elevator

honestly i feel bad that this is only 8th but there are so many good ones imsorry. anyways esme and jerome got introduced in this one which gives is a LOT of extra points. i love esme and i pity jerome which makes me also love him. also shoutout to günther for being the only count olaf disguise that could theoretically get it.

my only issue with it is that jerome disowning the baudelaires was kinda forced yk?? like i know it had to happen for the plot to carry on but i don’t think he had a good reason to do it. i guess points for doing something other than just killing them off again?

7. The End

OKAY so you might be thinking “oh, this part is exactly in the middle! surely that means you’re neuteral about it” LMAO I WISH i have extreme positive and negative opinions.

okay so first off it took me a couple of rewatches to get this one because when i first watched it i didn’t know about the quote that it was referencing (“religion is the opium of the people”) but MAN they mentioned that quote in class and i was catatonic for like 2 minutes because oh my god. not only did the incredibly deadly viper come back (yippieee) but they also implied that in the bible adam and eve were actually saved from something by eating the fruit?? the 4chan atheist that lives in my head really likes this one, is what i’m saying. also i know i say that about all of them because my sense of humour is basically based on this series rn but it was so funny. i live and breathe for olaf’s lil christopher columbus moment.

sadly it does have its downsides (olaf and kit) (i really hate olaf and kit) (i don’t think they’re good together). i mean SURELY kit has better taste than that. i mean don’t get me wrong they’re both my favourite characters but they have no common ground on literally anything. plus this is biased but i liked him better with georgina or esme because they remind me of several songs i really like. they literally just pulled the kit x olaf thing out of their ass so that olaf would have some semblance of a reason to die. oh yea i also think olaf didn’t need to die, i know Kit didn’t eat the antidote because it would have affected the baby but olaf could have totally eaten it!! he was offered it!! he wasn’t pregnant!!! it was so out of charcater for him not to eat it!!

6. The Hostile Hospital

Okay this one is SUPER biased because as y’all probably know i love the mad scientist trope it is my favourite trope ever AND i love count olaf so seeing them get put together was so cool. I know I keep bringing this up but i really do love the aesthetics they’re so cool. also also loved all the horror film references. most importantly (actually not that important) esmes outfit went so fucking hard literally i will never recover from the sheer power and moxie of Knife Heels. When I become actually talented at textiles i will recreate her outfit and probably ruin my carpet with those heels.

5. The Bad Beginning

a classic <33 the netflix version of this was literally one of the funniest eps of anything i ever watched i could feel my brain chemistry being rearranged as i watched it. also count olaf’s best era idc what he did he was literally just being sillay. also it has one of the best songs in the series honestly. OH ALSO justice strauss <33 and the troupe <333 literally all the beloveds are here there are no flaws

4. The Reptile Room

MONTY <333 HIIII MONTYYYY <33333333 literally my fav character he has never done anything wrong in his life ever. Also I love his fucking house it’s so cool if I had that much money I too would base my entire house on my special interest. also one of the only parts of the nickelodeon movie i didn’t hate so that’s fun.

3. The Miserable Mill

Lots of cool shit here!! First of all Shirley served astronomical amounts of cunt she had zero bad lines. Also I honestly think Georgina and Olaf were so underrated they remind me of several songs i like also they’re both fucked up and evil <333 she’s like esme but without the ulterior sugar bowl motives. also the fact that her name is GEORGINA ORWELL like ok. queen of subtlety. Like I get it if I was named that I would prolly start hypnotising people too. I also kinda love orwellian themes yk those are always fun.

AND OMG HOW COULD I FORGET CHARLESSS i feel so bad for him constantly he has never done anything wrong in his life and is also inexplicably british i love him sm

2. The Penultimate Peril

I love a good reunion episode tbh i love seeing all the characters together <33 also like this episode is so fun to dissect? (is that the right word?) i loved figuring out who JS was i loved finding differences between Frank and Ernest I loved figuring out what the fuck was going on it was so fun it’s like the best thing about this series.

of course that’s only partially true tpp would be nothing without those sexy sexy monologues

1. The Vile Village

TVV BELOVED <33 I have a separate post about the but they literally have everything. it’s a metaphor for autism it’s a metaphor for religion it’s a metaphor for the school system is there anything they CANT do. Also this is like my 5th time saying this but there are 300+ characters and i’m an indecisive bitch so i will do it again. Hector the actual loml is literally my fav charcater hes so me. don’t worry dude i cant openly defy authority despite knowing its unjust either <3 literally we would be best friends irl. she’s RELATABLE she’s MORALLY AMBIGUOUS she has SEVERAL INTERPRETATIONS I AGREE WITH she’s STRANGE she’s everything you want in an asoue book honestly

Also detective dupin and officer luciana kinda slayed what was Wrong with them <3

#cameron monologues #asoue #a series of unfortunate events #the bad beginning #the reptile room #the wide window #the miserable mill #the austere academy #the ersatz elevator #the vile village #the hostile hospital #the carnivorous carnival #the slippery slope #the grim grotto #the penultimate peril #the end asoue

[fetchen]

bLake being their ship name that's so funny 😭 will be learning more about love, victor so i can fully absorb this lore but i Love it when characters who have less than flattering first impressions of each other end up becoming besties and i LOVE your art. the way you draw their hair and face and everything is just. perfect wow. be cringe and free <3

yeah like i said i started thinking about them as a ship bc their names are similar so it just fit as a ship name 😭 i could come up with something else (probably combining their last names) but bLake is funnier so i won’t

i’m very glad at least someone enjoys my cringeposting it’s very nice. trust i have so much more to yap about if given the chance ^_^ feel free to ask more about them bc i’m so invested in them now

i also want to use this as an opportunity to say feel free to ask abt my ocs i have two main ones ^_^ i introduced blake already but i can talk about onix too bc trust i’ll yap my head off about both of them

anyway i’m now a bLake (blake jung x lake meriwether) truther!!!! they are so doopid!!!!!

btw blake is 5’9 and my hc for lake is around 5’3 so. height difference am i right

also Eheehee :3 thanku for the compliments about my art hehe

#ruey speaks #ruey ocs #i love yapping #cringe but free #oc x canon #oc ship #bebe wood yuri #love victor #lake love victor #lake meriwether #bebe wood #making a tag for their ship name lol #bLake #lgbt #lgbtq #queer #lesbian #bisexual #nonbinary #nonbinary lesbian #wlw #wlw ship #sapphic #sapphic ship #lesbian oc #nonbinary oc

[starlightaxolotl]

End of Year Writing Highlights compilation

All of these are by far some of my favorite lines and word combos of the year. In No Particular Order. Under a cut bc this got L O N G. Some are actual scenes, some are lines, some are outline notes!

Enjoy!

The kingdom of Fuckoffname

Conversation between Flare and Eleanor about names. (side note, I have no idea who tf Flare is. But this was a document in my folder. This was the entire document.)

He peels back the layers of thorny brambles choking out (name) and tries to help. He sees (name) the way he sees his cat Mitzy, a golden hearted angel behind all the feral attitude and hissing and spitting they started with. (I personally redacted this because it's funnier without context. I love the dynamic of sunshine character and their feral bestie)

"I’m sure between these bozos and the clown I can find work for them.” (I need to write more for this. I enjoyed the way that I wrote Kennedy. What a snarky supervisor. A shame what I planned for him.)

The document titled "Yee Haw, Stardew Valley"

Foxes, for example, you know there are five separate species of fox in North America. They have incredible hearing, and like you, they grin when they’re scared.

The following exchange from a Fatherless Support Group Text fic I joked about.

Skywalker: probably like the third worst betrayal in my life actually. DAD HELP: ??? DAD HELP: THIS is in top 3??? I can think of at least 4 worse betrayals??

(the betrayal in question here was the reveal that Skywalker used to have a bedtime)

The kid–a little girl–looked so much like she did. Dark hair, hopeful smile, boundless energy. Like a mirror of what she once was, before she was a weapon. (I need to work on this one again)

Would there even be an investigation if he vanished too?

He was syrup-sweet. He is still syrup-sweet, but there is a sour note too. Dark berries and something tangy in his attitude. Is it the recognition of the blood on his hands? (Can you tell I wrote this while hungry and wanted to focus on the idea of flavors in not food contexts?)

Josephine looked relaxed, laying on the couch. Yes, it was merciful. A true monster would have simply let her fall to the floor in a heap. They had made sure to make quite the show of laying her down as he stood there in terror. (I NEED TO CONTINUE THIS. I peaked with this whole warm up. Dear god this bit really was something. The sense of horror from the perspective of a man dying a slow death)

(From yet another RWBY au crackfic idea, you get a few notes)He has to be in this universe as a treat. As a human. Some kind of aura wrecking semblance. Asshole. Aura leech?// Maybe his semblance should be fire based. Maybe he’s got some fire immunity idk if that’s possible but like again, would be funny.

She can sing and she can dance and she is everything your father wishes you were, and you hate her. (this is still one of my favorite sentences of the year, and it's literally from the first day I was writing in 2nd person.)

The image on the monitor was static-y and glitchy, but she could see it was another kid, one who was excited to hear another voice, just like her. “Oh good, I was worried that it was just Chica tripping the motion sensor again.” They moved and a horrible crackling sound came over the speakers. “I’m trapped under Roxy Raceway, there’s an elevator going down and it won’t turn back on. Maybe you can find a way to get it some power? I wanna get out of this place!”

“Top drawer has your security pass for the job. Level ten clearance. I think that should get you wherever you want—also works on the vending machines, not sure how but it does.” (the Pizzaplex is my playground and I will make it as nonsensical as I want for comedy reasons.)

Long scene but I forgot how much I liked the Ballpit Multiverse crackfic and how I wrote my faves.

Alert severity: NONE. Unidentified Watch User pinging FRDY-1. He scoffed and rolled his eyes. If there was an unidentified user then there was either an error or an intruder present in the building. He would need to cut this game short. He turned on the spot and walked quickly, calmly—if he ran Lloyd would know immediately that something was wrong, and it would not do for the children to be afraid, no it would not do. He lifted the shutter up with ease and smiled at the boy inside. Lloyd groaned. “How did you find me?” He tucked Lloyd under his arm and carried him like he weighed nothing. “Consider it one of my many skills.”

Unknown guest profile. But the scanner identified him as a potential guest, he had to be real, yes?

Fazbear Entertainment had a bad habit of making headlines. Everyone knew that. It was widely joked about online, the same way that people talked about headlines that started with “Florida Man”. If Fazbear was in the news it was typically worth reading about.

When things did hurt, it was phantom feelings of wounds he couldn’t remember. It felt wrong. His body was wrong. He was broken, and he had no idea how or why or if he could fix it. Gregory wanted to fix it. (I've been meaning to revisit I, You, Me, We for a few weeks now, and rereading what I had for chapter 2 does make it more enticing...)

ATTENTION EMPLOYEES: Be safe on your shifts! Interfering with “Superstar Gregory” is not advised. If he seems to be somewhere he shouldn’t, contact MANAGER ON SHIFT or FREDDY directly. Do not attempt to stop or manhandle “Superstar Gregory” unless absolutely necessary. Let’s avoid further hospitalizations and paperwork as a team! (lmao I loved this little note, I think it was funny to write it. Freddy as a very overprotective parent is one of my faves and I think I can do this better now after reading....like 200 fics in a similar flavor. all of my faves are perfect for forced/surprise adoption fics.)

He was the fire, and he had been burning on empty for a long time.

“It’s a lot prettier as stars instead of exploded green goop all over the city.” (wheezing, the context is star gazing in Ninjago)

"Are we there yet?" “You know,” You started with a smirk. “Every time you ask that I’m going to walk slightly off course for two minutes just to make it take longer to get there.”

"Hi there, it's me, the local idiot."

#starlight writing #end of year round up #you have no idea how many files I had to open for this #I tried to get a little from everything

[lwjenthusiast]

Imagine you go to see what the cast is like after you finish watching cql and the first thing you find is the video of xichen rubbing an apple on his face and jiang cheng doing a dobby impression

#I’m using the character names bc it’s so much funnier when you think of who they played #anyways these videos Haunt Me #the untamed #the untamed cast #liu haikuan #wang zhuocheng #b.txt

[edelegs]

hubert is objectively the funniest character

evidence:

- just listen to any line of dialogue he has

- “von Vestra” is the absolute rawest surname I can think of. It sounds perfectly ominous and suitable for a character who looks Like That. but like . . . his first name is HUBERT

- Me: “Oh, maybe it’s pronounced the French way!” Edelgard: *very much not the French way* Hubert

- His entire deal is his obsessive and steadfast devotion to Edelgard. Edelgard is a character who can throw axes around like they’re nothing. Hubert, meanwhile, is made out of tissue paper and will die from a single hit.

- Threatens Byleth, a trained mercenary, in their C-support. Has to attend class the next day. 

- seriously listen to any Edelbert support

- Felix has hilariously edgy lines too but Hubert does it in a more theatrical way? Like to me Felix is Shadow the Edgehog and Hubert is Scar Lion King. or like, Felix is Simple Plan and Hubert is MCR (no shade to Felix btw, I laughed at all his lines too) 

- I forget who the op of the post was but someone said “Hubert is the Evil Advisor trope except the person he’s advising is 100% in on it”

- He killed his father. this is mentioned once and is never brought up again. nobody reacts to this

- I’m obsessed with El’s Hubert impersonation but on my second CF run I got to remember that Hubert impersonates his father and I am. OBSESSED with these dorks. 

- He acts like he’s too good for school events and then goes “Lady Edelgard I hope you save one dance for me 🥺”

- DO YOU NOT LIKE THE SCARLET PATH I HAVE PREPARED FOR YOU

- “Hey Hubert is this your NOXIOUS HANDKERCHIEF?” “Yes, that is mine. Thank you.” 

- He’s genuinely one of the more complex characters (if you look beyond the surface) and I am so so passionate about his character development but I mostly like him because every line he has sends me

- Hubert only blushes for two characters in the game: Byleth . . . and Ferdinand. 

- he likes board games

- when you feed him something he likes he’s like “i don’t particularly care for food, but i will admit weakness for this one dish” which i take to mean that hubert is so edgy he thinks he’s too cool for EATING 

- or alternatively, he is an actual vampire 

- the evil laugh

- my best friend conceptualized the Byleth/Hubert relationship as a dad trying hard to impress his angsty teenage son. she calls him Hugh and I demand that this catch on please can we make Hugh happen

- by giving him traditionally “scary” facial features he actually gets one of the most interesting and unique character designs. this means that a lot of fanfic writes him as “sexy, but in a rat way”

- WOULDN’T IT BE TERRIBLE IF THE ARCHBISHOP GOT MURDERED

- he’s afraid of heights

- that one existential horror advice box question where he’s like “I used to fear the goddess. Now I fear the living” or something

- he is a massive edgelord to everyone else but he deliberately stops laughing around Bernie bc it scares her 

- when Jeralt dies in Black Eagles Part I, Hubert gives you dry facts about the enemy’s position as his own odd way to comfort you. however, in any other route, he says “I’ve never been one for condolences” and leaves it at that 

- he is 2 years older than his classmates. that fact alone makes everything he does 100x funnier

- the Hubert Stanning Experience is just laughing at this emo man until he’s wormed his way into your heart and soul and now he’s stuck there as your weird murder son 

#hubert von vestra #i feel like this post isn't even necessary bc he speaks for himself #but it's always Loving Hubert hours in this house!!! #long post #black eagles #fe3h #update: i am absolutely obsessed with everyone's tags on this post

[miraculouscontent]

Anonymous asked:

I think she-who-shall-not-be-named is targeting you again w/o actually using your name. She's defending the Adrigami moment in Kuro Neko and calling the individual in question "a toxic lukanette shipper". I could be wrong but she's obsessed with you so I doubt it.

Anonymous asked:

you: *in the tags of a post that she shouldn't be able to see bc 1 she should just have the salt tags blocked if she hates it so much and 2 bc you definitely have her blocked*

you: i wish they'd let kagami move on from adrigami interactions and do something else since they aren't going to follow through and are just teasing us

you: let her move on

p@@b!tb: toxic lukanette shippers who say anything about the adrigami moment in kuro neko should get bent

me: how did you even see that post ? why do you always got something to say when someone privately post a properly tagged adrichat salt post

Adrien stans in general are obsessed with me from what I’ve heard? It’d be adorable that they “admire me” so much if it wasn’t so sad, lol. Not to mention getting my age wrong earlier just to do literally anything to try and insult me. I’m sorry, I thought I already made myself look soooo bad that you wouldn’t have to add on outright lies?

And, like--imagine someone whose opinions make you rage blocking you, and instead of making the logical conclusion of, “this is good, I can now take the healthy path and not have to worry about seeing their content ever again,” (never mind that, as the above anon stated, they should have the tag blocked) you continue to link their posts/vague/rage about them anyway. Imagine spending so much time getting mad about actual, real life people who don’t affect you at all rather than the fictional characters (who you can hate as much as you want because they literally don’t exist so you can just have fun) in a TV show watched by impressionable children.

My problem with the “Adrigami” moment (which is already wrong because it’s Chat and Ryuko so they’re misnaming the ship) is that they had Kagami aggressively end her relationship with Adrien (good for her) and then the show has had her defend him in “Optigami” (which got her shot) and now be the first to wave to Chat in “Kuro Neko.” I know she doesn’t know that Adrien is Chat but I just think it’s messed up because Adrien has done literally nothing for Kagami in this past season outside of offering her a drink - which she didn’t even look amused by - but the writing keeps throwing moments like that in and there’s no way it’s not intentional.

Not that I’m surprised that the writers and Adrien stans just happily let the rich white blond boy get off scot-free as much as possible and also don’t care about Kagami unless she’s catering to Adrien, but still. I merely think it’s funny that they call me “toxic” and then happily let themselves be “poisoned” by reading my posts and watching my videos. Like--this becomes SO MUCH FUNNIER when you imagine all the time they must have wasted away reading my salt posts. All the hours they must’ve spent!!

#MC's Fan Club #((That's the tag now for the saltiest people - regards to all of you on Discord ;D - who love to obsess over me.)) #((If you want a laugh apparently they mocked me to tell me to ''get a better name'')) #((Just let that sink in.)) #((Also)) #((I imagine all of my posts pointing this stuff out just magically disappear from wherever she's reading my posts from.)) #((Convenient.)) #((Bonus if they'll link this one just because now I've specifically called them out for that here in the tags.)) #category: salt #salt: fandom #other: ask and answer #((Who knows)) #((maybe there's an alternate universe where my fanclub like PaABitB over here never gave me any attention)) #((and I didn't stick around because ''awww there's no one to spite'')) #((but BRUH. I'm LIVING over here!)) #salt: adrien agreste

[batarangsoundsdumb]

yet another ask dump yeehaw!

do you ever think that jay's mother was one of those bitch who believes in horoscope and tarots and things like that and so he believes in these things too, or it is just me projecting?

sheila haywood took one look at jason's birthchart said 'nah this won't do' and left.

Wait, but what happens when the justice league does find out that Bruce and John fucked? Lmao it sounds like it would be hilarious, really, I don’t want a justice league that doesn’t make fun of Bruce for like his entire life.

barry runs out of the meeting immediately and comes back with an entire sti testing kit. diana fully seriously wants bruce to get tested while bruce is sitting there like 'come on guys, you're being ridiculous, i already checked twice'

john is standing in the corner clearly offended while bruce is just like 'don't even say anything, constantine, you fucked a shark'

tim was like "i'm drake now" and everyone was like ahh so your fursona is a dragon and tim was like pffffft no. ducks.

on the one hand, good for him, on the other hand, bro, how do you still have a secret identity when your superhero name is just your last name,,,,

Your fic on ao3 was GOLD PLEASE CONTINUE I loved Dinah's cameo btw ( @purple-vixen

thanks so much! i already continued but this ask is like 10 years old because i'm a notorious procrastinator (also yes! i love dinah so much aahhhhhhhhhhhh)

I've FINALLY been watching the Batman animated series and I gotta say, after watching "the gray ghost" I am CONVINCED that Batman is a closeted super hero geek who was 100% freaking out the first time he met Superman and is just REALLY good at hiding it.

bruce internally: holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit holy fuck holy shit bruce externally: get out of my city, alien

AHHH ur multimedia fic is the only thing that brings me happiness anymore continue it forever pls

uhh thanks, but can't continue it forever because my attention span is that of a toddler on crack on a good day and i can't function without at least 10 things going on at the same time and music in the background

Oi, so I'm getting into dc and watching batman the animated series, and they use fruitcake a lot. Which I thought was very funny and wanted to share w you - Denilla

wait like fruitcake (food) or fruitcake (derogatory) ?

young justice 🤝 teen titans slut shaming batman

tim drake and dick grayson to their respective teams 'you guys stop it, that's my dad'

Happyhoganon: If an eighty year old Batman had fought crime in Gotham City for decades and the only threats to him and the city lately are a wheel chair bounded Penguin, your usual purse snatchers and a few con artists popping up every now and then, how well could the Dark Knight do in maintaining the peace in Gotham despite him being just somewhat fit to do that as an elderly man (which says A LOT given how old he is)

uhh he'll probably do what my grandpa does and that is ruthlessly prank them until they die of shame.

in the death in the family interactive movie there's an ending where Jason is tasked with raising Damian and he decides he's gonna raise Damian to take down the waynes and al ghuls which uh maybe isn't great BUT the idea of Jason raising Damian... PRICELESS. CHAOTIC. I just need more people to know about this :)

yes i saw that wow holy shit but jason would accidentally drop damian on his head one (1) hour in and jason just yeets him into the lazarus pit.

Headcanon: The Penguin has a really hard time fighting any of the Robins because of his avian obsession means there's always a small part of his mind that's like "Birb. Child. Protect" ( @subspacecadet )

as soon as dick becomes nightwing the penguin is like 'you know what, fuck this dude' and shoots at him.

Y'all talking about King Shark dating Constantine, let's not forget about John literally hooking up with Satan

listen there's a clear difference between monsterfucker and satanfucker in that king shark is literally a shark and satan still looks like a normal dude

Does everyone in Gotham think Batman is a teen dad?

everyone in gotham thinks batman has been around since gotham was founded, but they do think that bruce wayne is actually a teen father and dick grayson's biological dad.

why. why would you do that fancast when you know it will only hurt people

what? i loved my fancast it was really well done. i did it with good representation in mind and i really managed that with alfred pennyworth being ✨italian✨

Seeing james charles a jason gave me psychic damage how dare you i need to wash my eyes

well that's a you problem isn't it?

do you think dick grayson thirst tweets about nightwing just to annoy his family/cause problems on purpose in general?

he thinks nightwing is hot, next question.

holy jiminy cricket batman, its as cold as the good lords ass crack in here!!

i- what? this is why i don't fuck with english expressions it's way too goddamn weird

Brooooooo, your teen dad!Bruce au is soooo good. I've got brainrot.

Honestly if you ever write anymore, I'd read that shit twice. Sign me the fuck up. Good stuff, Good Stuff.

uh yeah i'm thinking about writing a fic, but i have exams coming up and i don't wanna fail because that would suck. but after i'll certainly be writing more tho

your teen dad AU is so great! bruce acting like a big brother for all of like a week before he's telling everyone about his son. what if in the AU dick meets the JL because they need to rescue him? maybe he's in trouble/kidnapped at a gala and bruce starts calling for JL. clark finds him and has to fly with dick to bring him home - that's how dick and clark meet and superman becomes dick's fave hero. he goes around the manor thinking he can fly with a red blanket draped around him like a cape.

actually- if you want a young dad! bruce fic with like that kinda stuff(just with damian) go check uhh- in for a penny by cdelphiki. it's really good and bruce is like 24/25-ish. (and dick's there!!!)

This account has solely convinced me that Tim is a trash goblin ( @hamilcat-and-magic-turtle )

because he is. that boy has slept in dumpsters on multiple occasions even if he is the son of a billionaire.

Okay but when you said victory dance I did think of the whole justice league defeating the big bad and then they all start flossing

well that's exactly what hal jordan does and that's why batman uses a gun now. no but the victory dance in my opinion is like the 'we're all in this together' dance from high school musical.

The horrors in Invincible s1 was nothing compared to the comics, I cant wait for s2

oh well okay, i mean i personally react to horror and violence by laughing awkwardly so i can't wait to be called a monster for accidentally laughing at a mass murder.

I'm currently watching Batman: The Brave and The Bold and- Bruce is just talking about Oliver like he's an old love (@nightwings-kid)

okay im going to watch that lmao that's totally and completely in character for him tho.

The invincible comic is like super gratuitous with its violence so much so I'm shocked the show was able to adapt it in a faithful way! Anyway had the show been live action it absolutely wouldn't have the same impact as it does as an animated show and I'm so glad so many people agree with me on that

also because a live action casting would've been like uhh amanda stenberg for amber, the dude- the guy from the supernatural but with a mustache for omni-man, and scarlet johanssen for debbie grayson

Debbie grayson is a milf, yes. You're welcome for the invincible propoganda, now you can questions your life. Bruce def seems like the perfect father next to Omni-man. Like they really took a rip off justice league and I was like well, now I'm attached even tho I was like hah I know who they're supposed to be. And then bam- death gore death gore gore gore sad Mark grayson just had to have daddy issues. Why does every character have daddy issues. I'm sick of the attacks

because daddy issues make a person arguably funnier, that's why i'm not even remotely funny (haha good dad flex). i liked that it was dark contextually, but not in the colouring, bc i hate when it's like 'uh yeah graphic murder and now a shot so dark you have to sit in a dark room and squint at the screen to faintly see the characters. (like dcau ugh)

About the Wayne insurance, for a moment I thought you would put the video with moans over the waves.

i mean- i could've done that, but rick rolling seemed more family friendly.

Its the first time in forever that im surpise rickrolled, i usually expect it. Congratulations (i really should know better this is tumblr)

i get rickrolled so often but i actually like the song so i dont really give a fuck

Actually, my information about Damian and John's kids is outdated because it was revealed that the old men telling the kids stories about the Supersons were actually Jon and Damian the whole time. I was blinded by my thirst for Grandpa!Bruce Wayne but I was wrong... I liked my version better, tbh (@artemisa97)

fair enough. but i'd honestly like to see damian and jon getting together, just because it's a really fun dynamic and their friendship was really cute when they were kids. (also idk maybe it would be nice to have one (1) main batfam/superfam character that's not cishet)

How am i JUST finding your blog skdskfkd you're so fucking funny and ur takes are hot

i thought u were calling me hot :( but youre not :( crime detected (but lmao thanks)

So I have depression and I swear that your memes are one of the few things that have made me laugh so thank you 💛🥺 (@katekanebadass)

aw you're welcome, and i hope you're doing okay!

The metropolis memes are so funny, I love them 💀😌

i think metropolis is also so fucking funny it deserves more attention imagine having your entire police force being upstaged by an alien from kansas and his kids

as an american i feel your complete lack of knowledge of us geography is just so sexy (platonic) ❤️

thanks so much (i also don't know any other geography, i'm not kidding, like you can tell me you're from hungary and it will just blank, there will be nothing that comes to mind)

In the DC universe they don't say "Can't have shit in Detroit" they say "Can't have shit in Gotham"

this just reminds me of that guy whose porch got stolen like the steps to his door, and i'm thinking of people living in gotham and waking up without a front door and going "can't have shit in gotham"

honestly all i know about chicago is the bean, so. what would gotham's famous sculpture be?

gigantic gargoyle statue in front of one of the police precincts because a villain thought it was a smart way to keep the police inside, but it's too heavy to move.

why tf do people go on about how batman "works alone" or how he's the "lone wolf" when he like 38290202 members in his family

bc people think it's cool that a grown man in his 30s has no friends or family instead of calling it what it is (sad)

Bruce is gotham's sugar daddy

why would say something so controversial yet so brave.

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

dick: gerard way are you in position, gerard way are you in position

tim: for the last fucking time, my codename is 'totally not count olaf' this week, abbafan 3000

dick: shut up my codename isn't 'abbafan 3000'

dick: it's 'abbafan number 1' and you know it

I have a feeling Tim drake is ur favourite batfamily member but okay u don't have favs if u say so ok

i mean he is, i won't deny it. but i love each and every one of the batfam just the same, i just have a weak spot for short dumbass nerds, because i'm a short dumbass nerd.

Omg i fuckin love boy meets world too fam shsjkfk

bro boy meets world was the shit!!! it was just fire and awesome and so fucking great like bro. it was so good im not even going to be accepting criticism

you know I find the whole "joker completes batman" thing a bit disgusting considering the horrendous stuff the batfamily went through because of the joker and let's not get started on the "joker has a point" thing like yeah he's this cool complex villain but he's absolutely batshit crazy

like yes! i get what you mean the joker just fucking sucks man he doesn't do shit for batman's character or the batfam he's literally just annoying as fuck. like the joker has a point' shit is so stupid. i will accept 'magneto was right' because he fucking was and i think he didn't do anything wrong, but joker? he's just like that. he's not even cool and complex he's just a weirdo with a bleach kink at this point.

ALSO YOUR RACISM POST- SO TRUE BESTIE

thanks bestie, i'm glad you agree.

in today's essay of why I think cass should become batman- I was thinking Tim would probably be the most efficient batman in many ways but I also think he wouldn't want to be batman tbh none of the batfamily members would want to be batman because they're trying to outgrow him but cass is the one who wants to represent the symbol that is batman

absofuckinglutely i will say it again and again that cass represents the batsymbol more than anyone in the batfam, in batgirl (2000) she literally didn't care about anything else than bruce's oath to not kill, she thought the batsymbol was more important than anything in gotham. she's just an excellent character because her motivation to not kill is not 'i'm scared i can't come back from it' or 'well my dad says no murder so i'll go along with it' but that she's killed somebody as a young child and she never wants to kill a human ever again and that's so fucking beautiful for a new batman like yes.

need more cass, duke and tim inclusion in gothamite memes

yes yes, a tall order of cass, duke and tim coming up in 1-14 business days

oldest to youngest batfam members cus I'm confused as shit

okay order of being taken in: dick, jason, tim, cass, damian, duke order of age: alfred, bruce, dick, cass, jason, tim, duke, damian (though cass and jason are around the same age general consensus is that cass is a little older)

I'm so confused Steph is a redhead?? like how was it that hard to get this right? the source material is literally right there and free

cw is jared, 19

do you receive anon hate? if so, how do you deal with it

uh no, i'm not remotely popular enough to get anon hate and i also don't say a lot of things that would attract anon hate, but i do send anon hate to @the-real-peter-parker because he forgot about the specialists from winx club

Wait how many languages do you speak??

uhh- 5 if you include latin, but that's a dead language and i'm really bad at it. but english, my native language, german, and french also, tho german and french not fluently.

You can mix aguaepanela with aguardiente 😈 and is tasty

okay but now i'm curious if the liquor deserves the 😈 emoji or if that's a you problem. but i googled it and it looks like something you'd take one sip of and then not remember the rest of your evening.

#i love all of you guys so much thanks for all these asks #some of these are literally from march but fuck it #the day tumblr puts dates next to anon messages is the day i close my inbox crawl into a hole and die #it's such a basic task to answer asks but i don't want to bother anyone with asks clogging up their timeline #and if i don't have a funny or good answer i'm like 'uhh okay won't answer it now then' #so this is for you #also i deleted a few asks because it gives me mental pain to see my inbox go over 50 and it's almost at 100 #i was complaining about having too many asks to the-real-peter-parker like months ago and then i had 45 asks in my inbox #now it's amassed to going over 100 twice #but no i love all of you and you're great and you're all fantastic and i lvoe you #muchos kiss kiss #kiss kiss for my kiddies lvoe you #invincible spoilers #dc #dcu #dc comics #ask #anon #bataranswers #i really wanna try aguapanela now i'm gonna see if i can find panela somewhere and review it for you babes #uh yeah that's it #muchos gracias for all your questions babes

[mingmingfufu]

Can we just talk about the ending of KawoShin open discuss. *sort of spoilerish*

I feel like I’m the only one who’s like reallly disappointed LMFAO--ya’ll there’s so much “canon” alternative universe and merchandise for Kawoshin in Evangelion that it kind of makes me upset to realise this couple just went down the drain. Yeah, I can see how people were like, “Kaworu’s toxic” or “Kaworu has a hero complex for Shinji” to which I say are valid points. But the toxic thing I feel like can also be applied to pretty much everyone around Shinji tbh, except for Rei. I did NOT, like Asuka at all but I really love her character though, and I felt for her a lot throughout the series.

I did not ship them either because honestly, Shinji and Asuka seemed better off playing the sibling dynamic instead of trying to play bf/gf which honestly is kind of forced by their living situation. Also since they’re in a similar disposition non existent father and dead mother, you’d imagine they would rely on each other for emotional comfort. Though Asuka—her personality I feel like she can’t differentiate between familial love and romantic love and the affection she wants is a bit of both. But, her character tries to be “mature”; she wants romantic love more and does this through sexual means and romantic gestures e.g. like kissing. One of my friends told me that you can’t stay friends as a boy and a girl cause eventually you catch feelings. Which I say is kinda dumb cause I have a lot of male friends, and I definitely don’t harbour those feelings, but I guess it’s a common phenomena.

I think this is what happens in this case, of Asuka and Shinji. Even after rejection of instrumentality they actually are depicted as childhood friends. But knowing how they both were before to each other, it was not good tbh. Also to mention the choking like thrice— bro if anything, this showcases a really abusive relationship and I think this outstretches the idea of their character tropes. Which I firmly stand by saying they’re superficial to each other. AsuShin were never really there for each other and are using each other in a forced situation. However, you can’t deny that they didn’t at some point catch feels, also Shinji is pretty consistent how he still cares about everyone around him. Which I really like how they add that to his character because it reminiscent of Yui, because you see a duality of both his parents personality in Shinji throughout the series—it’s a really nice touch. But bruh, if we gonna talk about that coma scene—I’m out LOL.

Thoughhhh, she is a true definition of best girl I really like her arc, fighting drive, and her skills as an Eva pilot 😭💗--but bruh she’s still a toxic and sometimes annoying tsundere trope, but still she’s 14 what can you do. So I feel like Kensuke and Asuka are actually a pretty good combo, cause he’s always been pretty mature even without parents. Also Asuka was into older guys, so I guess this is a win win?? Also Rei and Shinji, I honestly cannot get my head around it cause that’s pretty much his mom—so in a way that’s like either his half-sister or mom-ish clone?? Idk but Yui is definitely the donor LOL.

Kaworu and Shinji I felt like brought a bunch of things out of each other. I don’t know which timeline begins first, but I’d like to think the manga, the anime (plus its movies), and then to the rebuild series. Because I think that order is kind of pivotal to observing Kaworu’s character development from being a person who’s trying to understand human feelings to then the kinder person we see in the final series. You can tell how he’s changed and he knows Shinji a lot more as well as being considerate to him e.g. giving him personal space or letting him work at his own pace. Also that “we’ll meet again.” Is an obvious nod to how he’s done this before.

His literal story in every timeline is always romantic LOL, like bruh I can’t remember which game it was but basically a bad ending of Kawoshin route is that you reject Kaworu and he starts the third impact 🤡. Also I don’t know why but I started to see a weird dynamic between those two, in the manga their interactions reminded me of Asuka and Shinji—which Shinji is the tsundere Asuka here. I don’t know if this is relevant but the older character relative to the character they’re with seems to play off a mature vs a childish person trope. Asuka is younger than Shinji and Shinji is actually younger than Kaworu. Then again I could be overseeing this but istg manga Kaworu and Shinji mirror the whole Asushin dynamic. Like he’s seriously agressive against Kaworu, then after killing him he admits liking him. 🤡 I don’t know which is funnier no homo Shinji, homophobe shinji, or just closet Shinji who needs to realise sexuality is a spectrum so he could’ve idk—come out as bisexual, but whatever manga Shinji lol that timeline is over.

Anyways the development of these two is real and I think the rebuild timeline shows them at their best bringing their own personage out from each other like how they both enjoy music together--WHICH I’M SO SAD WE NEVER GET TO SEE THAT CELLO AGAIN. Then there’s those feelings of humanity, love, kindness, etc. Which yeah an angel could represent those things, but Kaworu is still his own person, self-aware of a cycle and if you think about how he initially was there to USE Shinji, but ultimately turned on that plan set by SEELE because he loved Shinji (and a bunch of other things like him showing Kaworu humanity). I also can see the argument, how “ideal” Kaworu is to Shinji, but he’s more self aware of the time he has before he KNOWS he’ll die and knows how to act for himself in that duration to make the most of it. All with Shinji. At some point, I think he fell in love with Shinji tho I don’t know where it began tbh—considering that all those alternate universes do exist. Kaworu does romantically love Shinji--so, in some universe they both reciprocate their feelings to each other. 

In the last movie during that convo with Shinji. Like bREH it’s so emotionally moving because Kaworu remembers ALLLLL the timelines and how he’s been with Shinji and later Shinji himself recalls the events too. Where they show the scene from the manga and anime. Kaworu cries after being set free from the EVA cycle. Which, I definitely understood what he meant by him saying “it’ll be lonely” and how Shinji changed or that he’s actually different this time.

Either way, Shinji did right by him because it’s always Kaworu who has the purpose of “trying to save Shinji” but it always ends up the same. I thought that was really moving because Shinji tells Kaworu he’s gonna let him live a life for himself for once and he wants the same for everyone as well. Which was honestly so meaningful cause I think Kaworu’s character and like Rei too when they start to realise how to “live” like a person and not another puppet it’s truly liberating. Another thing I forgot, bruh Kaworu calls Gendo his father and ngl I feel like this is kind of a weird lore situation because I for sure don’t think he’s the donor. I think he calls him that as an insult because he knows Gendo’s whole doing and relative to Shinji—I kind of see it as a joke LOL. Like it’s equivalent to saying, “daddy chill”, or “hey look it’s daddy and his plans to end the world” also I kind of like to think of it as a father in law thing cause you know, Kawoshin *winks amirite*

The ending, I’m honestly hoping is just an open ending because it gives everything an actual start of their adult lives not being dictated by extraterrestrial forces. Though, I’m kind of wondering if the world doesn’t have EVAs does that still mean everyone else still has the same backstory, and do they remember? Maybe Mari really is just a coworker lmfao, and there’s still a chance for Kaworu and Shinji cause ngl, they did have a convo (presumably from the spoilers) about still remaining close afterwards and that stare at the ending seems very hopeful.

I call bs from Anno saying, “oh Shinji is based off him and Mari off of his wife”, like honestly any OCs made theres always some part of yourself made into that character. Which is probably why a lot of people relate to the characters in EVA because they’re based off real things (e.g. those war machines characters are named after and people around them). I think why Kaworu and Rei are together at the end, is bc they’re very much the same. They’re mass produced dolls—which oddly enough that’s the case for all the children except they don’t recall the loop. Kind of funny also how both Kaworu and Rei became farmers lmfao so ig it runs in the family (yes that’s right I like the idea that they’re siblings it was always noted that they’re like “the same”).

Another thing, i think why the rebuild really did well for Kawoshin and in my opinion canonised it—the convo with elder Ryoji Kaji (Misato’s baby daddy) that there was a time he felt incredibly lonely and depressed thinking Misato didn’t love him and so he started looking out for himself. So self love and found himself a hobby in farming which he suggests to Kaworu—basically saying he might feel like Shinji doesn’t love him but he’s gotta remember to take care of himself. if I go thru a breakup ill feel like it’s the end of the world but Kaji says y’a gotta self love broe and take care yo self gad dam fam 😭 💗.

Though, that look at the end from Shinji to Kaworu—I’d like to believe there is still hope that one day when they’re a bit stable in their adult lives, they’ll run into each other.

#Kaworu Nagisa #shinji ikari #neon genesis evangelion #rei ayanami #mari illustrious makinami #asuka shikinami #discussion #kawoshin #nge kaworu #nge shinji #nge

[locktobre]

bcbd thoughts

right away I see that this is only an hour long, so... it’s not a movie, then. it’s a one hour special, again. I feel like I’m already gonna miss the extra 20 minutes just like dolphin magic but we’ll see I guess. maybe it’ll be a mercy that it’s shorter.

the opening credits/dream sequence was nice. the animation on the city is decent, and the monochrome thing was kind of cool.

her being on stage reminded me a little of Eden, and then immediately I missed Eden so much. they would never let a version of Babs be a bitch now and that’s such a shame.

so now we’re joking about George tracking Barbie’s cell phone? bc that’s fine and not at all an invasion of privacy or anything. also, you can check flight statuses on the internet so that’s really not necessary. also, why the fuck didn’t Barbie call them once she got off the plane? or at least text? I always text or call my mom when I land, and frankly I’m not even as close to my mom as Barbie claims to be to her parents. and I did that when I was 17 traveling alone, too, so it’s not just something I do as an adult. it’s part of the responsibility of traveling to let ppl know that you got somewhere safe so they don’t worry about you. what the fuck Babs.

was that honking supposed to be like censoring the cabbie swearing bc I would love that. let the cabbie say fuck.

I still maintain that this “summer program” thing is bullshit and Babs should have been going off to college. I know they won’t let her grow up but it makes more sense than this does. also, you’re telling me there’s no summer programs for acting/whatever in LA? seriously? she HAD to go across the country for this? and her parents let her? they don’t even trust her! they said that 2 seconds ago! or is tracking her cell phone the reason she’s allowed to travel across the country (to Willows and Florida and Hawaii) by herself in the first place? I hate this I hate it so much already

The Handler Arts Academy... oh I’m feeling emotions

“luck’s got nothing to do with it. you worked your tail off for this” SHOW ME FOR WHEN, PLEASE. this could have been an actual arc of the show, a goal Barbie was working towards that could thread thru multiple episodes... but no. this came out of nowhere. I’m STILL saying that Amelia bought Barbie’s place here bc FUCK YOU SHOW

“I hope I’m good enough” you’re a mediocre rich white woman, you can do literally anything you want.

why is her guitar shoved in a cardboard box and not, idk, in a guitar case? that’s stupid. also, that’s an open cardboard box, so how did that travel on the plane? a closed cardboard box, fine. should be a suitcase, but fine. but this just makes no sense and I am not going to let it slide bc I hate this continuity and everything about it.

however, I will give Brooklyn a pass for the open cardboard box bc she literally lives in NYC and didn’t have to take a fucking plane to get here. she can carry it like that if she wants.

“as long as you don’t break [my leg], we’re good” I’ve already seen Brooklyn in a cast, so... does Malibu literally break her leg later on? even on accident... jesus christ.

is this Russian(?) custodian lady gonna be the antagonist/villain? bc I’m already not vibing with that. not at fucking all.

how the FUCK could they show up a day early? why would they not show up on the day they’re supposed to? that doesn’t make any sense! and if they’re NOT supposed to be there yet, then there would be no staff there to watch them, so they should have to come back tomorrow! they shouldn’t be allowed to be by themselves in a school like this! I’m assuming this is to facilitate a day of bonding without stupid things like classes in the way, but they could have written an orientation day or something in that would have made more sense, and as I said, I am not inclined to give them a pass on anything these days. fuck you all.

so, room assignments are alphabetical... I guess that kind of explains them being in the same room, altho it does feel coincidental that they wouldn’t be, like, in neighboring rooms. also they didn’t animate little signs on the other doors, even with nonsense text if they didn’t want to put other names up, so their door really sticks out for no reason. also, shouldn’t it say “Barbie Roberts & Barbie Roberts” or some other way of having both names on the door? also, if the school knows they have the same name, couldn’t they put middle initials or something? we know Malibu is Barbie M. Roberts, and I will generously assume that Brooklyn’s middle name is something else, so that would have been fine. this really feels like the administrators don’t give a fuck, and in a supposedly prestigious school, I don’t buy that.

so, Brooklyn has been training every summer in different programs, very intensely, to get in here... and Malibu trained on the internet. what have I been saying about Malibu’s white mediocrity? hmm?

even after that (lackluster) montage, it feels way too soon for “Before Us.” I don’t believe they’re best friends who warrant a song about their friendship. I don’t believe that at all.

I like the bald fashionista being on the billboard, that’s a nice touch.

Malibu bringing up her vlog like that gives me hives. she has already stated multiple times that she does that to help ppl, not for clout, and yet. here she is. being a fake ass bitch once again.

Brooklyn and Emmie’s story is already way more interesting than this and I’m pissed that’s just backstory.

LOVE that green-haired dude. idk where you’re going with that drum but godspeed my dude.

I’m assuming that’s Emmie incognito in the back, but... what’s she doing here if she’s already famous? pulling an Erika Juno?

Dean Morrison seems cool

(is it too early to ship Brooklyn x Emmie?)

if pets are allowed in this school, I’m SHOCKED Malibu didn’t bring Taffy. truly fucking shocked.

Rafa reminds me so much of Jacques Rousseau

“the only labels we believe in are designer” so Rafa’s gay, right? Barbie’s first gay character? I can only assume

the ballet thing still doesn’t make sense to me, if their goal is to be on Broadway. ballet is an entire art and discipline in itself.

fencing makes more sense, bc stage fighting is a thing.

‘work it’ is even funnier than I imagined. Malibu you’re such a fuck up. and I can’t even cut you some slack bc earlier you said your training was “internet.” you didn’t work for this and you don’t belong here. die.

if this was PCS, Malibu would have been kicked out already. YOU WERE NOT PREPARED FOR THIS. WHAT HAVE I BEEN SAYING FOR MONTHS.

so, the ‘work it’ montage clearly showed the passage of time, it’s been at least a week, and... Malibu hasn’t talked to Ken at all during that time? this is the first time she’s telling him about Brooklyn?

ok, confirmed to be a week. and she hasn’t talked to Ken. of course. they are so close of course she hasn’t talked to him in a week, especially when she’s been struggling so much and would need to vent to a friend about it. of course.

so, Emmie is pulling an Erika Juno. at least she’s in disguise.

jesus christ, they’re really having Emmie be exploited by her own father??? JESUS.

ok Brooklyn x Emmie is sailing.

Brooklyn’s mom is an airline pilot, that sounds cool.

so the dresses are powered by the magic of friendship? cool. that’s stupid.

of COURSE Emmie’s dad is the board member. jesus christ I hate this dude.

okay, so she DIDN’T break her leg, it’s only a sprain. thank god. poor green-haired drum dude.

saying “epic fail” in 2021 unironically is not cool, mattel. unless I’m even more out of touch with the youth than I thought, but I’m pretty sure about that.

wait, so Brooklyn was dancing... and now she’s on crutches again? what is this montage? they fucked up here.

of all things to kick Malibu out for, they’re saying she pushed Brooklyn? why not all the fuck ups in her first week?

also, Rafa was taping that class so how do they not bring that up immediately? that’s the whole reason they were dancing over there in the first place! (so he might not have caught anything, but still, I have to assume that’s going to fix this bc that’s what these movies do.)

I really like Malibu’s leather jacket look, but she does look a little bit old I think. Brooklyn’s leggings look is nice, too.

okay, so Brooklyn suddenly believes the unnamed witness over the girl she sang ‘before us’ with? okay. I told you this friendship was a crock of shit. they don’t trust each other at all! Brooklyn should have been angry when she first fell, and it builds to thinking that she was sabotaged, but she brushed it off... and now she’s pissed. that makes no sense.

this friendship breakup song also means nothing to me bc their friendship fell apart for such a stupid reason. fate didn’t tear you apart, you tore yourselves apart by not trusting each other. stupid little children.

if Brooklyn’s ankle isn’t completely healed aka still painful, she should not be dancing on it, she could injure herself more or at least prolong the healing process.

ok, so NOW, after Malibu has already been expelled and sent back home, they remembered the video. these kids are so fucking stupid. and of COURSE the unnamed witness is Mr Miller! Emmie, you ALREADY KNOW that your dad is shady as shit and wants you to get the Spotlight Solo! HOW DID YOU NOT PUT THIS TOGETHER IN 5 SECONDS? I DID

so, Mr Miller thought Malibu was Emmie’s biggest competition for the solo? Malibu, the spectacular fuck up? not Brooklyn? or any of the background extras? I refuse to fucking believe that. I REFUSE.

how did George and Margaret just let Malibu get expelled without flying out there to fight the charge? seriously?

how is is Brooklyn singing ‘before us’ in-universe such that Malibu recognizes it? you’re breaking the conventions of musicals! I don’t get this!

I like Brooklyn’s mom being a pilot less after it’s been used to facilitate this bullshit part of the plot.

again, just “Barbie Roberts” makes no sense. where’s a middle initial to differentiate them! SOMETHING! I know they’re doing the finale together, but still, it’s STUPID.

shipping Rafa x green-haired drummer dude bc I can

where’s the Emmie doll for this movie?????? I’m so disappointed. also the other outfits, the leather jacket and leggings ones, I swear those weren’t dolls either. what the fuck

I see more fashionistas on billboards at the end! I really like that

so the custodian wasn’t a villain... then why that introduction for her? that went nowhere

is “Big City Big Dreams” supposed to be Emmie’s song? that Malibu lips-synced to on her vlog (apparently)? I can’t tell by the voice and they don’t list the voices for the songs in the credits

overall, once again it largely made no sense. idk if it would have benefitted from 20 extra minutes of screentime bc nothing really happened.

also, what the fuck happened to Mr Miller? he just keeps on exploiting his daughter? and for that matter, what happened to Emmie’s mom? bc she lived with her, and then all of the sudden her dad was in her life again and exploiting her, so... what did mom die? did he kill her? what am I supposed to think? and Emmie’s STILL stuck in that situation? girl. what the fuck

also of course they were too cowardly to confirm anything about Rafa. of course.

#mel irl #barbie babbles #bcbd #barbie spoilers

[whoslaurapalmer]

so i never do this but i put a lot of thought into really specific details about the structure and scene layout of (the three-part folding mirror) and i really really really want to talk about it so here are some of my notes and some general commentary 

-the crux of the fic, at least the way i had envisioned it, is what vfd does to family, how it becomes biological family vs the family created by vfd

-what vfd did to specific families: -physically separated the calibans -morally separated the denouements and the snickets -somehow brought the anwhistles closer together

-in terms of ramona and olaf, ramona was there to stress the distinction of biological family vs. vfd family but also how they’re so inextricably intertwined with each other, and olaf, this is harder to tell bc he doesn’t have a point of view here, but olaf is scoping out potential candidates for his personal group of firestarters – his own sort of “family” (ramona bc she’s a duchess, ernest because he has a similar line of thought, josephine because her husband is working with the mushrooms, the white-faced women because, well they wind up in his troupe and I have very vague headcanons about how that happens)

-related; the reason frank asks olivia about miranda at the end is because, at that point in the fic, frank feels so terrible about what he said to ernest that he’s trying to reassure himself that his family is still okay because (dewey’s right) at least they’re together, compared to the calibans, who haven’t seen each other in years. it was one of the first ideas I had when I was jotting ideas down in april and it stuck with me the whole way through. I really wanted it in there. I went back and forth before I got to this plot, though, on whether or not frank or ernest would be the one asking it. but I think it fits frank. -(ahahahahahaha the kicker being that miranda really was at the party the whole time and olivia didn’t recognize her) -anyway 

-the parallels in the fic were: -the denouements start the fic together, and end the fic alone (by being honest about how they feel about each other) -the snickets start the fic relatively separated, and end the fic together (by being dishonest about what happened during the party) -the denouements start the fic by playing their game, and the snickets end the fic with theirs -frank is mistaken for ernest, ernest is mistaken for frank -frank pretends to be ernest on accident, ernest pretends to be frank on purpose -dewey has never slammed a door in his life; towards the end of the fic he slams the tray -i….think that’s all of them. I think

-character-wise, jacques and frank both see themselves as the people holding their families together; when in fact for the denouements, it’s dewey, which I think is clear in this, and for the snickets it’s lemony, which is less clear here? but definitely something I agree with -dewey and kit see themselves as the most ‘normal’, and they both have relatively solitary positions of acquiring information -ernest and lemony clearly both vibe on a ‘question vfd’ wavelength -i was also interested in kit and ernest, as siblings who feel stifled by an older/perceived older sibling, and dewey and lemony, who are sometimes unnecessarily protected by their siblings because they are the youngest/perceived youngest -this doesn’t show up in the fic bc olaf’s parents are still alive, but I thought ramona and olaf were also interesting foils re: reacting to their parent’s deaths

-some narration notes: -frank never refers to ernest and dewey as his brothers, except in the scene where he argues with ernest. because frank doesn’t necessarily see the split of biological family vs vfd family but has definitely swayed more to vfd family -ernest and dewey always refer to each other as brothers. -similarly, frank refers to the members of vfd as associates, most everyone else refers to them as friends. -ernest refers to vfd as strictly VFD because he’s distanced himself from it, while everyone else calls it ‘the organization’ -frank doesn’t swear even in his narration when he’s thinking them and not saying them because it’s, still his narration. he still wouldn’t quite completely say the words. (oh, he’s like gansey, like that. the raven cycle is still on my brain. i had so many scene sketches where ernest and frank were way too callous to each other bc they kept coming out like ronan and declan.)  -kit’s line at the beginning is “someone in this very room has betrayed us” which is jacques’s line from the building committee meeting in unauto. the clock saying wrong afterwards is because the someone who really betrayed them (lemony) isn’t in the room. 

-the costumes, which i did decide very arbitrarily: monty: clearly a snake. olaf: sigh. wolf ramona and olivia: oh, there was actually a slight distinction that just no one notices because none of them have looked at an insect (and also because describing clothes properly but succinctly is the hardest thing. i've written fic for a long time!!!!! i did my time in block paragraph clothing description hell!!! it haunts me!!!!!!!!!!), but ramona was the butterfly and olivia was actually a dragonfly. their masks are roses because, well 1) I thought that would be cool 2) butterflies and dragonflies land on flowers…. jacques: the boxwood, but a lion otherwise. josephine: ocean widdershins: the octopus with the pirate hat jacquelyn: the gold star suit (because gustav said she should do it for a play on. star. like. actress star.) miranda: uranus’s moon named miranda. it was very vague and I put that in the fic before I decided to have her in the little scene with esme. and then i thought i would put her in that scene too. gustav: phantom of the opera.  haruki: tree frog hector: tree (not because of haruki’s costume but because i literally could not think of a damn thing for hector to be) lemony: uhhhhhh I had vague ideas he was. a cloud or something. like a stormcloud???? couldn’t pan out though. I like him in grey anyway. kit: I really just wanted her in red. with a big cape. and i spent so much time mentally deciding if i wanted her to have glasses or not in the archives that i forgot to mention her mask. everyone has one i swear to god  white faced women: did anyone recognize that was them? :) it’s not mentioned in any way at all but in my head they were all dressed identically as flappers

esme actually doesn’t have one, because I, forgot, to give her one. I’m taking suggestions. 

-references to lyeekha’s fics: -“that which is essential is invisible to the eye” is what frank says to jacques at the end of edge, and also the title of their snicket/denouement series  -it initially wasn’t in there, because I was worried it wasn’t, like, in the right tone, re: what happens in edge vs how I was interpreting jacques and frank? but i liked it a lot. so i put it back in.  -“frank quit smoking, but you didn’t” is a reference to frank smoking at the end of rigged  -guess the guest and the clock alcove are from the end of fragments, with dewey and ernest watching hotel guests. this is my favorite thing in the whole world and something i actually keep forgetting is not canon because it is SUCH the perfect beethoven parallel  -kit’s tattoo, which I was specifically imagining as the giant bombinating beast tattoo from ink on her back, which is definitely not around her neck but that was the only spot of skin she was showing so it was available and my thought was, it was kind of a low-cut in the back dress, and she was wearing the cape to cover up the giant tattoo on her back because beatrice was not there to cover it up with makeup (also bea picked out the dress.) (bea: if I can’t be there you have to make a statement) (kit: I have to what) -lemony being a “powerful, mythical figure” to the sugar bowl gen was actually something I wrote a long time ago, back in 2013, and I put it in the fic because I thought it fit, and then happened to reread double edged VERY late into the rewriting, literally THE DAY after I wrote that line in, and i saw a similar line of thought, and I was like “*cooper voice* sometimes you just get lucky ~ ” -jacques being in a lion costume, from the masquerade outfit sketches

additionally – -yes I am still cackling about ‘angel of my apple’ -angel of my apple -ANGEL OF MY APPLE  -writing olaf is constantly like, he can say the funniest fucking things. and then turn around and say the absolute cruelest shit and the balance can be difficult.  -but, angel of my a p p l e 

-i can’t believe that out of all the people here, frank and jacques are the ones having the most semi-successful romantic relationship. well, ramona and olivia, too, but frank and jacques actually kiss so good for them -i know it was very vague and it’s because writing romance is physically embarrassing, but yes that last line was supposed to be them kissing, i’m so sorry 

-undercover underwater was a last-minute addition because I didn’t want to take the time to try and google something real and good because I didn’t have the time. my guilty pleasure is super shitty hallmark murder mystery movies (I like good murder mysteries as well, thank you.) and my mom’s been reading terrible murder mysteries during lunch (where I was sitting across from her, also eating lunch, but also hiding behind my laptop and writing the fic) so I just came up with undercover underwater on the spot, but my mom came up with the tagline. it was originally ‘sleeps with the fishes’ (especially because i love the godfather movies which also, clearly has a very big stress on family vs The Family) but I thought ‘diving for the truth’ was funnier. -my mom and my brother (who has no interest in shitty murder mysteries, but loves to verbally smack them down with me re: their predictable tropes) and I decided that the plotline was something like, single woman scuba dives and keeps running into stuff (you know, hidden treasure, dead bodies, the like); her love interest drives the boat; her overbearing family member is an aunt; this is definitely like, book four in the series. there’s probably twelve books or something. (she goes on vacation on like book six and still finds a dead body, come on it practically writes itself.) (she probably owns a little fish tank......it’s a small sunny beach town.........etc etc.........) (it’s so easy to do this.)  -oh, fixer upper is the worst hallmark murder mystery series, murder she baked is the best. in my opinion. 

-dewey and lemony were supposed to have an actual conversation at the hors d’oeuvres table but every time I tried to put lemony in earlier he just wouldn’t work. it didn’t feel right. so he got saved for the reveal. -but i’m still delighted by the idea of lemony literally doing the shot of gazpacho.  -dewey uses a spoon because he doesn’t have the composure or the guts to do a shot of cold soup  -lemony was also supposed to have a scene with kit and one with jacques, i’m pretty sure, to lead up to the gazpacho conversation and the commiserating re: siblings. but again, didn’t work out. so then dewey had to fare alone in the scene. -oh!! the line about how lemony hides, in the least likely places, was actually something that was in my initial write of lemony’s scrapped pov of my ellington fic. jacques being responsible for sending olivia to the hinterlands was from a scrapped jacques fic.  -steal from your unused fic. 

-because I had to take scenes with lemony out, I had some, gaps in the night that I had to fill in (especially because this is a party more people are there than the snickets and the denouements), so that was how esme, the herpetology squad, and olaf and josephine came to be. (also olaf needed to show up again somewhere else otherwise he kind of, disappeared awkwardly, I thought?) -also because initially there was going to be a scene of bea and bertrand, elsewhere, but I wanted to keep the fic contained to the hotel, because one of the ideas I wasn’t able to put into the fic all that much was the sense of the hotel being its own world -oh, bea and bertrand don’t know that lemony used them as cover. the assignment they were working on instead of being at the party? planning the opera. the scene would’ve come right after ramona and olaf’s conversation. -the herpetology squad not only serves to highlight that people can’t tell the denouements apart (part of the foreshadowing that ernest would pretend to be frank), but was also me roasting myself because writing like a million different characters I had never written like this before had me very concerned about if their characterization was consistent, specifically for kit. (specifically, her with dewey.) also defining a character down to one base trait can be helpful when writing and creating characters, but for people no it’s not ideal. -haruki’s estimation of the denouement’s traits were not how i was mentally keeping track of them, because i definitely do do the ‘one base trait’ sometimes, but i had a lot more going on when i was thinking of them -but yes dewey is kind. in the way that bertrand is kind, but bertrand’s like, way more smooth about it. 

-lemony does not have his own pov because, for me personally, I can’t fathom writing him in any other way besides first person, and it just would not do to have one scene out of the whole fic not in third person. unless he was secretly narrating each scene, which, he clearly was not. i would’ve had to do it in a whole different style. 

-i love that dewey and kit are like ‘ahaha we’re the normal ones though’ and their normal conversation is them literally going ‘hey these creepy fish are AWESOME THOUGH’ -i looked at so many fish. for hours.  -ALL BECAUSE I came up with the phrase ‘oceanic intrigue’ as a fun phrase and decided I had to commit my soul to it and never look back. -oh, the fairy shrimp are really very cute though. and i think the cookiecutter shark is, fucked up but a neat little guy. 

-i’m eternally going to be laughing about this too  kit: where the fuck is frank frank: /three floors down, making out with jacques

-oh!! 40-49 is unassigned in the dewey decimal system (which I googled. many, many times.), and was previously biographies. there’s another section for biographies now, but because biography was the closest I could come to like, some sort of, identity category, I thought it was more fitting if it was the section that used to be biography but was now as blank as frank felt.

-dewey is the one responsible for the clock sounding like it does. he just thinks ‘wrong’ is a fun word. that, and frank recognizing jacques by sound, were from my earlier scene sketches for this when i thought this fic was going to be much, much shorter. 

#lulu talks about the sad lemon man

[luminous-shifting-vibes]

*sequel* to actual fucking quotes from the shiftblr coffeehouse discord server

once again, it's out of context because x1000 funnier

also x1000 longer than previous post

"ur satan is gnc af"

"Bestie I’m already having gender envy over a fucking demon please"

"O_O ODEPIJHFbavevisdpvfhzdcnjawedsidjksjdkoeirjfmkdsoeirujdksodifjndmksoidfjdksidfj ITS" NOT IN MY FRAFTS IS SPEDNT 1 hour PN THAT SHIT"

"AUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"

"ohoho sexy"

"I am very proud of myself"

"himbo x edgy fuck"

"YOU COULD SQUISH HES CHEECKS"

"he has teefs"

"SQUASH"

"good for biting 📷"

"he's a himbo basically"

"B͂̒̄iͫ̍̈tͧ̓ͯè̄̇"

"bifth"

"i havent watched blue exorcist in years but mr okumura my beloved </3"

"MY LIFE QUESTIONS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED"

"is it important information to mention that the person i put up for my turn is the son of satan" "I know like 1 thing about everyone who isnt ranboo lmfao"

"crimes"

"tumblr sexyman"

"idk why but my first thought was cowboy onceler"

"I vibe with him but he is very long and twisty"

"steampunk e-girl"

"steampunk tumblr sexyman"

"Canonically bi crimelord I agree!!"

"OOO FRIEND SHAPED"

"ARTIST SIGHTED"

"they look like someone i would want to be friends with but is way cooler than me so i'd never actually talk to them"

"babby..... would die for him"

"honestly i probably kin him"

"i'm sure he's lovely but he looks way too much like my ex i'm sorry-"

"i'd be down for another rotation! i have another twink to show y'all"

"Also :00 blonde friend"

"Let us all infodhmo"

"Hsjagdvbs shhh im on phone"

"Nix woukd you like to joon?

"skitters away"

"I have two braincells and they both drink dumb bitch juice"

"oof wait whats the order again i have 0 memory"

"i want to bond with him over cosplay-"

"Awkwardly watches in band kid"

"One day I'm gonna a broadway star"

"which isnt to say they were bad. they were just fortnite dancing during rehersals"

"I threw it so hard my glasses flew off and slid under the stage right divider"

"anyway heres my boi"

"emo"

"haha emo"

"virgil sanders kinnie"

"he looks like he listens to my chemical panic at the fallout boy"

"Bro I bet he'd kick my ass with his deck"

"bird man my beloved"

"fuck i had so much to say and then i forgot it all"

"Birds!!"

"guiguhuh"

"crabrave"

"She sounds like someone I would end up stealing her personality"

"yess name collector gang"

"alias glass aiden haven absinthe fish brick rice"

"But I have Cypress, Remure, Genesis, Lemres, and Comet"

"And she's named after a mars candy bar bc alien"

"Hey, if plato went by plato, you can be king thief"

"im not dissing my gramma like that shfojd"

"My dad has seven legal names" "bitches be like *looks at fictional character* *steals their name* it's us we're bithces"

"coraline lowkey traumatized me but i adore it regardless"

"mmmmmm magic man :]"

"°0° green man"

"criminal (affectionate)"

"he would shoplift a candy bar from walmart and then brag to all of his friends about the sick stealing he did"

"despite the fact he's canonically been capable of overpowering a minor deity"

"i would commit so many crimes for him"

"Very babey"

"Yes please tell green man he is very pog"

"he also keeps a lot of dumb secrets"

"but I will sorely miss the chaos and energy of this here chat until I wake again" (by request XD)

"i just say words and if they're funny then they're funny"

"* or extremly chaotic either works"

"at this point we are just taking turns rambling"

"oH--"

"bc my brain has a schedule"

"Hopefully they have gyoza there or I will lose my mind"

"hehe yes spooky man"

"my ghost glucose guardian"

"the head of the undead group that lives there, and we end up dating. (yes I date a ghost, no I will not be taking constructive criticism /lh)"

"ghosts r just inherently sexy"

"i mean im becoming a squid thing so"

"Raven quirk raven quirk!!"

"ł â m p"

"łæmp"

"mothman: ooh lamp you look very nice today! do you come here often? mothman: wait shit no"

"I'd date a ghost"

"mine is still accurate, i am still sobbing (/j)"

"p e e p e e"

""@nick wilde is a tumblr sexyman" is the best thing i have ever seen"

"im sorry im cackling like a dying hyena"

"you're all 12 year olds"

"PEENIE"

"He once caused global warming on accident so he could get a tan"

"god, what a himbo. i love him"

"that reminds me of my friends kin assigned me jesus"

"Man outside of battle be like: princely crying but then in battle hes like: "CATACLYSM! DISASTER! DEVASTATION!" Chill out man"

"Every time I talk about satan it never fails to shock people it's my favorite thing to do"

"im kin assigning him roman sanders" ""Oh yeah he caused global warming because he wanted to get girls" "he what""

"oh damn i forgot satan was straight"

"twink appreciation club"

"give us the twinks"

"my first thought was bottom-"

"so many people to try and get his dad to love him"

"daddy issued"

"OH MY GOD ITS WILBUR"

"Big boy but"

"anyways janus is swagggg"

"........................."

"gib twink"

"give twink then i will share"

"holds him gentle like hamburger"

"This dumb bitch opened a book that said "do not open" and got possessed by a little bastard"

"he is. fragile creachur"

"klug is beauty klug is grace i would let him step on my face"

"If I'm playing swap and I have to hear one more "Pwanet Powew" Im gonna lose it"

"Who is to blame? Pandora or the box?"

"Bakugo isnt my type but I respect the drip"

"i say like my type isnt long-haired pretty boys and girls that look so gnc that people have a history of confusing them for men"

"hes a gremlin and i can appreciate a pretty gremlin"

"that is to say i am attracted to VFlower vocaloid. This is a confession."

"note i am a lesbian"

"You may like Schezo wegey"

"why does he have one single expression"

"soul soul eater passes the vibe check"

"magic wand"

"I Want To Hold His Hand"

"i would commit a war crime for him any war crime idc which one"

"my favorite one is when he sounded rlly gay because he said "Muscular bodies keep me satisfied""

"p e a n u t"

"Klug is a homophobic homosexual its just facts"

"grug from the croods is peak male performance"

"jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair Ahem, you look very lovely."

"tag yourself im the fireworks shooting from the top of the head"

"i like essays"

"central time gang"

"11:11 pog-" (wait... is that a suprise angel number?? yes it is lovelies just for you <3)

"Then again im also a dumbass bitch who wonders what the souls in soul eater taste like. SERIOUSLY THOUGH. THEY LOOK TASTY AS HELL!!!! LIKE GODDAMN BRO YOU'RE MAKING ME FUCKING HUNGRY. Like. that shit- it's Bone Apple motherfucking Teeth. hell yea my guy. Im hongy now.... shlorp I'm seriously considering this. Like. They seem kinda like a liquid? But a solid? Are they like jello? The fuck they taste like my guy???? I keep imagining they're like sour, like sour candy maybe? Or do they taste salty? Sweet? Maybe some combo of two? Do they even have a taste or is it about the texture? The sensation? God my mouth is watering what the hell. I am starving. I think I need to go get a cookie. I'm gonna go get a cookie. Brb. I'm better. I'm still craving souls though. Which is a weird-ass cringey thing to say but I'm being dead-ass rn. They just.... look tasty???? And I wanna eat one. Thus. I am shifting to Soul Eater for the express purpose of satisfying my fucking cravings. enjoy"

"points were made"

"jello? more like helloooo schloooAHFJDSDAIDWNALDHSJKDAIDANDM"

"WAIT I THINK I HAVE AN ANIME GIRL BITING VIDEO TOO"

"anime girl voice: mmm! mm... ahhhhmp!! mmm, mmm... aaahmp!"

"i think it sounds great i'm going to start eating like that"

"several people are typing"

"do these look edible to you"

"forbidden gummies"

"when I was on lsd I couldn't eat my fruit gummies because I thought they were alive because they had little faces on them"

"oh shit yeah don't do drugs"

"anyways general consensus is puyos are edible, ty for your input everyone"

"everypony is a word so powerful it can bring nations to its knees"

"pls the self control it's taking me not to say "hewwo everypony" in gen chat when someone new joins-"

"hewwo evewrypony uwu deaw cewestia i hopwe it doewsnt wain owo"

"ive cooked up a sowution wiwth the knowwege ive acwued. they say a kitcwen time saves niwne, but im just savwing two. Ive gathewwed the inwedients to make a time sowbet. Thewe's hawdly woom fow seconds when the seconds mewt away."

"I had a ten year old sister... you know what happened to her??? very sad, very tragic... she turned eleven....."

"NIIICE"

"Guts dont say the secks word :( /j"

"watch your fucking language in front of the president"

"im so sorry lumi"

"i think you're like ehhhh 8/10 funny"

"now me???? 10/10. Hilarious"

"sometimes i have to take a step back and remember that this is the same guts i follow on tumblr /lh"

""ok every here's some good shifting advice!!! uwu have a good day" "yeah i did lsd and ate fruit gummies""

"i have one setting and it's whatever this is"

"my bitch ass cat just pushed the door open with his fuzzy face and now my sleeping dad is being lulled into dreams by Cosmo Sheldrake's 'Pliocine'."

"me on discord: nick wilde"

"me on tumblr: shifting water! haha funne! me on here: my hermit crabs are cannibals also i want to eat souls."

"im sorry yOUR VIBESA RE JUST SO DIFFERNT"

"u give off older cousin ive never spoken to but always admire at the family gatherings vibes"

"what the fuck"

"BC I HAVE LIBERTU"

"If you adopt me then yes"

"am I qualified for dad jokes???"

"we're all a lot smarter on tumblr"

"I'm like "awww... sweet... sweet little shiftlings... posting such sweet shiftling content... so pure, so wholesome... does not even know abcs....""

"can't think before you speak if you never think B)"

"I'm not responsible enough to be a mom"

"cat pet"

"show us pictures of the cat or i will do Crime"

"maybe thats me being a coward tho"

"MOTH!!!! MOTH MY BELOVED"

if y'all want I can make this a series bc shiftblr keeps giving me more content

#tw drugs #tw swearing #tw cannibalism #tw crime #tw food #tw homophobia #shitpost #out of context #out of context quotes #lumi's quotes

[zhuhongs]

Since rewatching the guardian drama after reading the novel has made me mad about how bad and good both of them are I am Obligated to write out a list of what I think the perfect merger btw both versions of canon are. This will be in list format otherwise I’ll end up writing like 6k words again. 

TLDR: the genre stays as supernatural from the novel and not Sci fi, bc that was rlly not fleshed out well. Shen Wei is a ghost king, and all the dixingren are ghosts or demons like originally intended. The ghost race naturally exists and wasn't born from kunluns shoulder fire or anything. They just exist separate from humans. Not all ghosts are former humans, some people are just born as ghosts, like Shen Wei. Zhao Yunlan has the guardian whip and all the cool stuff that comes with the Guardian order.  Overall, i’d keep the novel’s plot and relationship progression and ending without the backstory. Instead the backstory is a merger of both canons. From the drama I’d keep the characterization and themes as well as like half the extra cases and omit the other half. 

I’ll be elaborating much further on my ideal backstory and other stuff under the cut bc the rest is 1.5k and I don’t wanna clog the dash 

Okay SO In my ideal backstory there are two timelines just like the drama but the mythology of the book. The god Kunlun is actually zyl that went back in time and became a god. But the one that went back isn’t the current Zhao Yunlan. There has to be an original timeline where the god Kunlun never existed. Thus the great seal nor the separation of the three realms don’t exist either. Zhao Yunlan must go back in time to become a god, meet Shen Wei in the past, and create the current timeline where the separation exists but isn’t perfect. The current timeline is the one that the majority of the series takes place in.

In the original timeline, Zhao Yunlan is just some dude living in a world where ghosts, fairies, and all other beings just live in a giant free for all and it's kinda just a mess. 

Like there’s government in modern context and all and all races live with each other but there's constant tension. ZYL works at some equivalent of the SID (same staff and side characters, but novel vers. Lin Jing is a monk, CSZ a zombie, etc) to protect people and all that and their job is rather hard. One day encounters the thousands year old ghost king Wei (who isnt shen wei yet bc zyl gave him that name in the future) who works alone as like a rouge cultivator of sorts. He lives on the surface undercover as a professor still bc he’s trying to not catch Yezun’s attention but does all the stuff he normally does as Heipaoshi. The two ally together for a case and bc they both have the same goals of getting all races to live in peace. At current, there are forces working together to decimate the human race, all lead by Yezun

As they work together they become closer and all that. Shen Wei tells him about how he was unable to prevent the great war 5 thousand years ago and neither could the gods so  he’s spent the past 5 thousand years trying to make up for it. As they search for ways to stop Yezun, they gather the 4 hallows and learn how to use them to manipulate time so ZYL can go into the past and stop the great war and separate the three realms (living, dead, ghost).  Shen Wei wants to go back with him but he can’t because he was alive all those years ago so if he goes back it will create a paradox. ZYL promises he’ll find Shen Wei in the past and create a timeline where they could be together in peace (that is the current timeline)

When goes back he becomes the god kunlun because there needed to be a new god born at the time to prevent the war.  Also this time traveller looked promising to Nuwa, Fuxi, and Shennong. And I know in the guardian universe gods are usually born and ppl don’t become gods. EXCEPT this can happen when a god passes on smth from their body onto them bc that did happen in the novel with Kunlun making shen wei a demigod. And since fu you and ma gui are supposed to be gods Nu Wa and Fuxi I think that when they die, they should make ZYL a god and that's how this stuff happens.

So like ZYL explains to the gods the time he came from and how he wants to save everything and they make him a god and he works to save everything just like he did in the drama but this time with the novel plotline. During this time he meets young Shen Wei (he’s still like a hundred or so years old) and they get close and all the stuff from the backstory happens. He gives him his name, all that good stuff. The entire time doesn’t let him know that he’s from the future or that his real name is ZYL. He just poses as kunlun. 

The two of them alongside the other gods (who still die at the times they do in the novel) work together to end the war and establish the great seal and set up the cycle of reincarnation, per the current timeline. Although the seal and cycle of reincarnation aren’t perfect. Gods can’t reincarnate, and ghosts still don’t have souls. And just like the novel, doing all of this kills ZYL bc it takes a lot of energy to create the seal even though it isn’t perfect.

Shen Wei of course doesn’t want ZYL to die and zyl says it's alright because he fixed the timeline so there must One day they will meet again and ZYL reveals the truth about the timeline to shen wei before he dies. This becomes the promise that Shen Wei mentions to meet again. Before he dies, ZYL gives him the shoulder fire as a memento ( i still like the candy wrapper necklace deal but i’ll take this too. Maybe both.. The pendant is still just rlly cool.. Gay ppl)

Shen Wei knows gods can’t enter the cycle of reincarnation and still makes the deal with Shennong to strip Kunlun of his godhood and let him reincarnate. This sets us into the novel timeline where isn’t allowed to meet any of zyl’s reincarnations before he becomes zyl otherwise he will die and also fuck up the timeline. The same 5 thousand years of pining still ensue bc Gay Ppl and i love making Shen Wei suffer but he doesn’t have the shrine room thing bc i think thats weird and yea.. Bad. 

In the meantime Shen Wei does a lot of things mostly just protecting the great seal and working for Hell to keep the peace but still does other stuff. He still watches out for ZYL’s reincarnations but doesn’t do much besides make sure they don’t die a premature death. They meet again finally at the beginning of the series and the timeline resumes like canon. And that's my master plan that merges both drama logic and novel logic while making a much better timeline. (I hope that makes some sense)

Da Qing is still Kunlun’s pet cat and important. Novel backstory applies to him. And I already mentioned him kinda but as for Yezun (Gui Mian in the novel) his deal is similar as in the drama but just a ghost. And he is a big player in the great war, he thought Shen Wei abandoned him as a kid but they were just separated. Shen Wei doesn’t know it's him till the end of the war and couldn’t stop him in the OG timeline and vows to bring him to justice and make amends. Shen Wei continuously tries to explain things to him but he just won’t listen and is imprisoned in hell bc yk… war criminal stuff and yeah he’s the main antagonist trying to break the great seal bc he’s still made about the past. Idk. Yezun wasn’t well written in the novel OR the drama so like… honestly he just needs to be completely rewritten and I don’t care enough about that. He can just be a weak villain idk

the drama characterization stays the same for everyone else bc found family go brr. However for Lao Chu i… hmm… i think he should still be a zombie but the reason he killed someone should be related to his brother. I like that addition and then shen wei realized his sentence was unjust and exempted him. i like that storyline merger. bc the brother thing and him admiring Heipaoshi was drama only. in the novel lao chu just murdered some kid for a rlly whatever reason.

uhhh in terms of the cases… id make adjustments to most of them. i think the li qian case should be like the drama bc the novel just had her as a murderer and it was boring. 

For the mountain river awl one was fine… novel version was funnier and more interesting action wise tbh… rip zyl and his exorbitant flirting. uhhh the whole reveal that shen wei was the soul reaper thing was kinda… ehh in the novel but i did love the comedy of afterwards Shen Wei pretending he went into cardiac arrest when he actually just… has no pulse bc he's a ghost. 

ID KEEP THE WORTH IT SCENE AND RAIN SCENE… THOSE FUCK SO HARD… I love the drama for adding those every damn day. the novel version of zyl losing his sight sucked and was sooo boring.  Keep the drama version on that.

also id keep dr. cheng. i'm very pro dr. cheng and her friendship with shen wei it adds so much to his character imo. keep the fruit seller man and his wife for the merit brush..omg it adds SO MUCH the way the drama did it.. like the drams build up with the novels pace of that arc.. mwah. it felt like it dragged a bit in the drama but if it went faster and without the hospital ep and with sha ya (sorry sha ya) that would've been so good. tho keep novel version of da qings memory loss and lao li. that was rlly impactful.

id say keep some of the cases like the mirror one, the eyes doctor one, etc. just to like.. yk have more to fill in general.. novel pacing but drama characterization without the bs that wasn't fully realized. and novel ending ofc. And that’s it!!

I hope most of this makes some amount of sense  but it probably doesn’t. In my head it all tracks but like ik most of u don’t know anything about the novel so this sounds like gibberish. Also I know this would literally never happen but this is MY ideal merger of the two canons that I feel compelled to expand on for some reason. Anyways, as io said,, we need to rebuild guardian. Like literally let me and the mutuals write Guardian and it will be 500 times better.

#🐌.txt #镇魂 guardian #as always... if anyone wants to ask me any questions abt this or guardian in general... pls do.. my mind goes brrrrrr #guardian meta

[overdramaticly-dying]

Many Unhappy Returns

Sorry for being gone from these for so long! I was really upset after Rise ended, and just sorta lost my energy there for a while- but I am feeling pretty confident that we can get it back!! 

In the meantime though, it’ll be fun to talk about some episodes! So per request that is over six months old now (sorry @alwayshere195​) Many Unhappy Returns!

- We all know how much the visuals in this show absolutely slap but this episode really kicks it off right away with beautiful scenery

- “Thanks for doing the dirty work for us! Big up Shreddy!” (the fact that this is their super-great-Grandfather makes this so much funnier for reasons I can’t explain)

-Leo would have been seriously injured in the Shredder hadn’t just disappeared like that

- “You fools! You have doomed humanity!” “Have we? No seriously, tell me, this has all been very confusing.”

- “Wow, one season later and I still got full battery, nice!”

- Leo’s overall support of his brothers and his confidence that they can handle it is actually really sweet

- April’s ‘get to safety song’ 

-”Two data points? You’re hypothesising with two data points? Scoff!” 

*Fifteen minutes later*

- ok but just in general, I just really love that they aren’t afraid to have Mikey have genuinely good ideas

- “No one’s responding, I’m the only one who made it!”

- “really? cause’ I thought my overall ninjocity was totally working” “It wasn’t”  “I’m pretty sure it was about to...”

- “She’ll help me! I’m the face man, people love me!” “Last time you saw her she tried to kill you.”  “Who hasn’t?”

- why are there so many good Leo lines? Also, just in general, despite this being a serious episode, the comedy still slaps while not seeming out of place- this is why I love rise tbhhh

-ngl the entire scene where Splinter tells Leo that Big Mama is his ex is probably one of the funniest things ever

- Splinter apparently met Big Mama in 1984- I kinda wonder if that was a nod to the fact that the og tmnt comic books came out in ‘84

- Splinter’s story is actually really sad tho- he lost so many people in his life, and finally thought he had found happiness with Big Mama, who he assumed was just a driver, not even an actor. Then he was betrayed by her.

-Big Mama’s assistant is there, just standing around and looking cool while the entire fandom begs to know if it’s Venus de Milo

- Leo’s whole plan while Splinter just freaks out in the back

- out of context, this shot is great, but with added context, it’s even better. Like u know that awkward moment when your grandfather walks in on you trying to kill him?

- eventually Donnie just goes on his phone while their tickling Shredder, and Mikey just chills on Shredder’s shoulders. Like sure, why not

- “You have thrown me into the lion’s den!” “I think it’s more of a kraken’s den”

- It’s the first time we hear Splinter say Leonardo’s name fully, and he’s just telling him to shut tf up

- “My other sons would’ve taken this seriously!” *cuts to them tickling Shredder*

- FREAKIN MIKEY LIFTING THAT ENTIRE BOAT????? IT’S AWESOME

-asdfghjjhgfd foreshadowing as to what the drill is for??? yes please not to mention the shot is just simply amazing

- APRIL FREAKING O’NEIL WHO GOT A CRANE LICENSE  BC OF POSSIBLE FIGHTS WHERE IT MIGHT BE USEFUL???? WE STAN but also what was that conversation like with her parents

-Kraken Tom and the Evil Six. Why is that so funny.

- ngl, Leo’s plan reveal actually had me gasping the first time I watched it. Like idk, despite them showing several times in the first season that Leo is incredibly smart and good at planning, it never clicked in until this episode for me, and I think that was a pretty popular experience- the audience realized just how smart Leo actually was at the same time Splinter did, but it was still seriously foreshadowed and didn’t feel random- just A+ writing for ya there folks

- “I have calculated that this is the site of our final resting spot- I mean, go team!”

- Donnie with his own headstone will forever be iconic and relatable af, but also just another way to add in how much I love the team behind Rise, and how much effort they put into this show

- Leo guessing that April finally used her crane license was kinda sweet tho

- “Trust me.”  “I do.” 

- Donnie and Mikey are both so terrified while they fight, but they still do it, and idk, I think it’s really important that they showed main characters who are still strong and fight despite being scared.

- WHOLESOME- also Splinter hugging Leo tightly idk I just think it’s sweet

- Splinter just shoving his sleeping children into the sewers gives off tired dad vibes and we stan

- one last thing: I love how in Rise, you really get the sense that they don’t want to be fighting the Shredder, they don’t ever want to deal with this. You want them to beat the Shredder because you know they have ‘normal’ lives to get back to, that ultimately they’re kids who still want to get back home in the end, and while I doubt any of the other tmnt turtles wanted to fight their Shredder, it hits a little differently in Rise- maybe that’s because we see a lot more of their normal lives- but I thinks it’s really cool that the writers provided a scenario like that.

tl;dr- this is an epic episode, but the more serious nature of the plot doesn’t mean that it lacks the comedy- in fact, the tone matches with the rest of the show perfectly, and it’s seriously awesome that they managed to pull it off. It’s a great episode for the start of a new season, and has a bunch of foreshadowing as well.

#rottmnt #rise of the tmnt #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #risingepisodetalks #tmnt 2018 #long post

[just-a-tiny-ghost]

The "tip of the hair” thing from anime characters.

We all know these characters who have funny hair color ranging from bright pink to sparkling white, passing by mysterious purple. It’s almost an unspoken rule not to ponder too much on the color of characters’ hair, because it’s so cool!

Here are some theories/possibilities on the reasons behind the tip of the hair!

(Please do not take any of these seriously)

Warnings: please do not take this seriously, fight scene, 5 scenarios within the theories, last scenario being just plain mean… (~4k words)

Characters: Kita Shinsuke, Kocho Shinobu, Yushiro, Tokito Muichiro, Yashiro Nene, Ishigami Senku, Akugatawa Ryuunosuke, Zenin Naoya

1st part: It’s naturally like this. “The ‘natural’ hair color”

It’s just like childhood blond people.

The people who are born blond, live through their childhood being blond and then, treason. Their roots start to darken, spreading the brown over the blond and they are no longer Primrose but Katniss. And it’s difficult, you know, to explain that they are blond because they are going through a strange phase where they no longer know the color of their own hair (*sniff*, just kidding).

So, it’s just like this, the roots are brown but often the tip of the hair is of a lighter color (blond, even ginger in certain places). You take this, and you reverse it, making so that the roots are lighter, and tips are darker.

Example: Kita Shinsuke, Haikyuu

Here you have baby Shinsuke, with the same natural hair color as when older.

(psst, imagine also if during summer his hair darkened more, just like people have them more blond).

It’s a new kind of molecule. (Part 1)

There was a mutation, the melanin mutated help! Other than the eumelanin (dark/brown) and the pheomelanin (red/yellow), another one appeared giving people crazy (cool) hair color! What’s more is that this one actually moves.

Example : Kocho Shinobu, Demon Slayer

Notice first, this beautiful purple. What do we also notice? The ratio and the defined line, just as if all hair should go from black to purple at the same exact point.

This is NOT a coincidence; this molecule can travel. I will explain that; so, we notice that younger Shinobu’s hair are shorter than when she is 18/19. However, as her hair grow longer there is more purple that is appearing? Shouldn’t there be lesser purple? No and we can thank this new, heroic molecule.

New systems developed inside the follicle, and they can sense, perceive the ratio of the colors. As the hair grow longer, more of this molecule will be created and sent to the extremity of the hair, allowing Shinobu to always have the same black/purple ratio on all the affected hairs, which explain the clear line as they are roughly the same length.

It’s a new kind of follicle. (Part 2)

And a lazy one at that! While working efficiently at the beginning, it soon becomes so lazy that it thought about just letting the regular black/brown/ginger/blond color instead of continuing working hard to color the hair a beautiful shade.

Example: Tokito Muichiro, Demon Slayer

(In his case, the follicle just forgot)

The Marie-Antoinette syndrome

The Marie-Antoinette syndrome is when someone hair suddenly turn white due to an intense stress.

The name came from folklore about the hair of Queen Marie-Antoinette of France (1755-1793), who during the night before her execution by guillotine, had her hair turn white in her cell due to stress.

The Marie-Antoinette syndrome could have had another name as Thomas More in 1535 also had his hair suddenly whitening the night before his execution, there were several cases of the syndrome throughout history, but no research suggests that we can lose hair color overnight. Yet, stress do cause hair to whiten, not overnight, but progressively.

Example: (well, might as well go with the same manga) Yushiro, Demon Slayer

I’m actually pretty sure this is due to stress as before meeting Tamayo he was sick and he may have had a time where all his hair were black, but the stress just came back when he realized how much he loves Tamayo and how many potential rivals he could have (lol). (assuming his hair continue to grow, but we know it’s not *sigh*)

So, this was all for now for the “natural” hair color part. Now, just imagine them just after they cut their hair.

You tilt your head sideways, examining Shinsuke’s hair while sipping your juice from under the shadow of the peach tree.

The sun was scorching, obliging him to wear his hat while gardening but not preventing you from taking sneak glances at his new hairstyle —diligently cut by his grandmother— the missing black color at the tip of his hair still slightly disturbing you.

When you saw him that day, your accustomed-to-seeing-him brain went into a frenzied panic assuming a non-existing threat from the sudden change in the pattern of his hair. You, without having a choice, followed behind this archaic brain of yours, metamorphosing into a stuttering, eyes-avoiding mess when your heart won the fight with your brain and decided that this would fluster you.

The day was spent in his bedroom, playing with his hair sometimes brushing them in the opposite direction, their straightness prickling your palm sometimes just rolling a strand between your fingers, eyes prying for even the tiniest spot of black leading you to conclude that they had all been cut off.

Your view of your boyfriend is suddenly blocked… by the face of said boyfriend. The blank stare on him was too much, as it was all he saw whenever he turned around to check on his resting girlfriend, leading him to come nearer.

“Hey, are you feeling all right?” He approaches his hand to you head, brushing your baby hair out of your face. “Even with a hat and sunscreen, maybe the sun was too strong? We can go inside and rest if you want to.”

You pull him to sit next to you, taking his hat off by the process and raising your head to scan the sky through the branches and leaves protecting you both.

“Nah, I’m okay,” you reach behind you and dive your hand in the cooler, grabbing a cool bottle of water, “you should drink a little though and we have to go back soon granny is going to worry, and I don’t want her to come outside to search for us in this kind of weather.”

You battle a little bit and screw off the cap to hand the bottle to him, which he takes and grace your fingers with a kiss right after.

“I am still not used to not seeing the black tips in your hair. Sorry I was staring,” you apologize.

He laughs it off, internally relieved that you were not mad or rehearsing a prank forged with the twins in your head.

He still had some influence on them and intimidating them was not a problem. He also could retaliate without an ounce of guilt.

But while he could scold you —it is fun to see you being apologetic and trying to be forgiven, your pranks were rather mild too—he could never be mad too long, as your pranks were just, well kind. If the twins are not involved.

“I can understand. Look at me as much as you want, I’m here for this as well after all.” He stands up and pulls you up after closing and putting the strap of the cooler on his shoulder.

“Let’s go home.” And you follow him, carefully placing both of your hat to protect you from the sunrays.

“Wait a little bit and you will see; the roots will grow black at first and it will soon be as usual.”

“Really?!”

Three days later, his hair was green, courtesy of the twins giving you ideas.

2nd part: It is not natural.

Well, we could just say, it’s the power of something that made it like this bla bla bla (well, I mean it’s the author who chooses).

But nah, it’s no fun if we do not make theories! Because the world is… *whisper* conspiracy. Let’s forget the wig too for now.

Well, let’s start with something basic: it’s simply dyed.

Maybe the characters just thought it was cool to have them dyes like that and this could work for a lot of them, even in the less recent times as people started to dye their hair even 1500 BC. 300 BC prostitutes in the Roman Empire already dyed their hair blond too, using ashes of burned plants or nuts and in 2014 artificial-looking hair color became a trend! (https://www.byrdie.com/hair-color-history)

Exemple : Yashiro Nene, Toilet-bound Hanako-kun

Nene-chan obviously is a hopelessly romantic teenager, and I am sure that she wants to follow trends just like she wants a boyfriend for the sake of, well, having a relationship at the beginning of the story.

So, pretty sure that with Aoi’s influence (she has the real power… help) they decided to dye the tip of her hair green in middle school.

(psst, PS: Aoi also tried to dye one strand green but her hairs were too dark, we can only distinguish the color when focusing)

(re psst: Akane directly noticed it).

Okay, a little funnier now. It’s because of an experimental failure, so a new kind of chemicals.

Example: Ishigami Senku, Dr Stone

So, we know that he is a science nerd. And we know that he experiments a lot. Let’s just imagine mini-Senku, seeing his father and wondering why the hell does he resemble a radish? 

Then, mini-Senku trying to synthesize a greenish hair dye (because he wants to look like a leek), but failing, not because it doesn’t take the color, but because it stays.

Do you know what’s even funnier? He failed it when he was young, like ridiculously young (he is in first grade here, so 6/7 years old and already a fan).

So just imagine 5/6 years old Senku, just having his hair up and green one day and he understands that they will always be like this.

It’s due to their power <3

Maybe kind of a side-effect of their power, we could think of Todoroki (Shoto) whose fire side have red hair and white in the ice side, so simply a cool consequence of cool powers.

Example: Akugatawa Ryuunosuke, Bungo Stray Dogs

Okay, so this is cannon, I’ve decided so. We all know he was poor, but like slums poor so he could just not afford to buy hair dye also there is no point in doing so.

BUT! During one of his fight, it happened. Rashomon ate the melanin at the tip of his hair. And since then, he decided it was cool and will keep it like this forever.

Scenarios! (･ω<)☆

“A-are you sure it’s like that?”

“Of course, it is, just trust me Nene-chan~”

They were clearly messing things up. The shower curtain laid there, ripped off its place, soppy and stained green at some places.

The sink, crowded with various face products, hair accessories, nail polish and a myriad of different-colored eyeshadows from just as much different pallets. Clothes lingered on the floor, creating little mountains of fabric and you were wise enough to avoid stepping on one in fear of being stabbed by a lost hairpin.

In the middle—rather the left corner—of this mess stood your two friends, the stool having been knocked off by a panicked Nene made you worry about her tripping on it. Facing her was a smiling Aoi hands stuck on too-big plastic gloves and a bottle of hair dye in her hands.

“I thought I told you both to wait for me,” you sighed. “Here Aoi-chan, gimme the bottle and the gloves. Nene-chan, catch this.”

You threw your package to her, which she missed, and the cloth unfolded revealing the cape you borrowed from your father’ barber shop. You hanged the curtain up again and went back to the now wearing the cape Nene— you just named teepee-Nene.

You slipped on the gloves and verified the mixture they prepared. Deeming it good and usable, you began to separate the strands of Nene’s hair, clipping some up and untangling some burdensome ones.

Then, as she already applied the protecting product, you began to spread the dye on her tips, visualizing the lovely ombré she wanted.

From the corner of your eyes, you noticed Aoi growing bored by each new stroke of brush.

“Do you want have a dyed strand too? Though it could not take well because of the color and the washing you just did,” you offered.

“Yes!” she eagerly accepted, immediately pointing at a random point on her head. “Plus, we can trust you at one hundred percent!”

“Of course,” you chuckled, “I am used to do this.”

“You did most of your colors by yourself, yeah?” Nene asked.

“Yup,” you confirmed. “But my parents were okay with it, were almost encouraging me to do so, bleh. Contrary to some middle-schoolers I know.”

You yelped, escaping from Aoi’s traitor finger that just poked your side. Nene grinned, “Well, as miss high-school first year helped us, you are an accomplice. Don’t think you can escape being punished with us, (Y/n).”

Shaking your head, you went back to her, lightly pinching her arm through the cape and focusing on your task with the girls’ chatting serving as your background noise.

_____________________

“We should dye your hair too, (Y/n)!” The girls’ eyes sparkled.

“No do so kids.” You discarded the dye bottle in your hand. “The dye doesn’t work anymore, should have requested this sooner.” Ignoring their complains, you walked out of the bathroom, walking to the kitchen for some snacks.

It was an ordinary day at the Ishigami household. Byakuya had checked his list, little shoes at the entrance, check. Clean living room and table, check. A walking Senku-sized mop, check. Groceries for dinner, check.

Byakuya turned around, checking again. Ah, he forgot the yogurts. Would it be weird to go back to the convenience store? They could skip yogurts for once, it wasn’t essential. What was important, however…

“Senku!! What happened to your head?!” He dashed to his son, grabbing his shoulders. “Did you get hurt? Wait you didn’t actually dive into a suspicious liquid right?” He paused. Then thought. He stared at him. “No, even if you want to test something you can’t just bath in it.”

Senku stared right back at him. And bonked his head.

“No I didn’t, I’m not stupid,” he reassured his father. “It’s hair dye,” he pointed out.

“Aah, I see…” He patted his hair before standing up. And tossed the child on his shoulder while ordering, “We are going to wash it away, immediately.”

_____________________

It wasn’t right. It didn’t go away.

“Why is it still stuck?!”

“I don’t know!! But stop, I’m going bald!! Help! He is trying to age a child! Human experiment!”

“I’m not, it doesn’t want t-oh, it’s disappearing.” Indeed, the water was now tinted a green color after streaming through Senku’s hair.

Byakuya sighed in relief. “Luckily it’s going away,” he started, “though it’s seems the tips already took the color in.”

Head down, Senku wrung out his hair and broke in a smile while confirming by himself Byakuya’s affirmation. “Yeah, I started by dyeing them first. Wanted to look like you.”

Byakuya froze. ‘He wanted to look like me?’ He glanced at his reflection. ‘I do have two hair colors.’ He grabbed a towel and spoke, “But you know, it’s not good to dye your hair this young. Come here, I’m gonna dry them.”

The child’s hairs were still thin, but the long strands would thicken later with no doubts. Byakuya was wary of his own strength too, as a child’s head remained fragile looking, Senku was still five after all. But this wouldn’t prevent him to mess with it a little bit.

Taking the hairdryer and a hair comb, he disentangled some knots here and there, added hair wax at each strand he lifted up until they were all up and with a radish-like form except from a tiny seaweed at the front.

“Tada! Here is my masterpiece. Keep it will you?” He ran away. “I’m going to the convenience store; I forgot the yogurts!” he shouted. “Tidy the bathroom up for now, thanks!"

_____________________

“What they didn’t know though,” the narrator started, “is that the chemicals would keep him looking like that, proudly wearing the same hairstyle 3,700 years later, a unique hairstyle, a relic from the modern era they knew.”

Akugatawa was in a dire situation. A kind of situation he had been in plenty of times but could be the last one he lived through just like all the other ones.

The enemy was strong, not physically exceptional, but having grown enough muscles to defeat three or four kids like Akugatawa attacking him together.

It wouldn’t be a problem, for he was blessed with Rashomon, if only the man he was fighting wasn’t an ability user as well.

The worst, being that he didn’t underestimate him nor was he stupid as he cleverly used all the aspects of his ability, taking each openings Akugatawa dropped by inadvertence, creating numerous opportunities from them and further damaging the child’s body each time.

Akugatawa was certain now, that his enemy couldn’t be taken lightly and though it was pointless to ponder on this now, as he didn’t know if he would survive this fight, he was concerned on why someone this strong would be going after him.

The answer to his questioning could be a threat to his relative safety, as well as his sister’s and the other children’s.

He dodged, the outline of the shadow almost piercing through his head, its razor-sharp edges flaunting death in front of his eyes.

After many failures, he finally began to uncover the trick to resist the unknown ability. The man had been sending his shadow after him for some gruesome minutes now and Akugatawa recognized some patterns, his body learned to dodge and bend to escape even one blow.

But his knowledge stopped there, he couldn’t pinpoint how to stop the enemy, how the ability worked.

All kind of ability had some king of mechanism, he learned. His depended on his clothing as the beast was formed from it. If put naked in front of an enemy, he would be dead meat; separated from any kind of fabric he was just as vulnerable as he was as a newborn.

Yet, even when having Rashomon by his side he was struggling against the stronger, the more experienced ability user.

While the origin of the enemy’s weapon was his obviously shadow, he had no ideas how to make it disappear nor did he know how to stop the connection between the user and his shadow.

He blocked an attack—at least Rashomon could touch it—and the beast’s fangs tore through the black foggy blade making a bee line to the enemy’s neck.

From under him, the man defended himself. This action cost him his life as Akugatawa found his long-awaited solution.

Another attack, not from the ground—he learned that when closer to him, the enemy could raise his shadow as he wanted—but from above him.

He lifted his head; the tip dangerously close to him.

It allowed Rashomon to successfully break the crystal hidden underneath the layers of shadow, the blade shattering apart the moment the crystal was damaged.

Now that he found out the way to get rid of him, Akugatawa could unleash his beast and let it freely destroy the destabilized enemy in front of him.

_____________________

The enemy was gone and Akugatawa staggered to his home, the distance being longer than what he recalled. Having reached the entrance, he collapsed on the ground after seeing his sister quietly waiting for his return.

He woke up some hours later, the night had installed itself in the sky.

Something was strange however, as his sister was staring at him, eyes sparkling. He wondered why until she pointed at a strand of her hair that was framing her face and taking it, pushing him to mirror her actions with his own.

Indeed, where the black melanin was supposed to be, was now hairs devoid of color and white like an old man’s. His gaze trailed up to find out only the tip lost its color, the pattern where the colors met looking like sharp teeth.

“Big brother,” Gin started, “could you do the same for me? I want white tips too! And you must do the same at the other side, it would be prettier if it symmetrical.”

Did his sister just ask him to chomp her with Rashomon?

Bonus: Zenin Naoya <3<3<3, new technique

Hang him head down.

First, you lure him into the garden, being a submissive, obedient and sweet wife, you want your dear husband who is finally at home to relax and you have prepared a surprise for him <3

So, you lead him to the garden, where you prepared a magnificent, grandiose gallows!

Not understanding the reason why it’s here but being arrogant enough for at least a hundred men; he asks his silly wife why something so grotesque was in the garden she adored to take care of

You smile sweetly and lean in to kiss him (him allowing you to do so of course, you couldn’t do this if he was not spoiling you but he was really good with you), wrapping your arms around his neck

Then, you let go of his neck, watching him slowly fall back.

“Oh, dear!” You chuckle after hearing the loud bang his head produced after kissing the ground

You grab the collar of his cloth with one hand, the other one patting the back of his head, fingers finally grazing the little bump, consequence of his fall.

You slam it. (´꒳`)♡

Then you drag him behind you, playing a little bit among the moist grass and zigzagging to admire the pretty flowers you took care of during all the times you had an affair with boredom behind your husband’s back.

1st step. You tightly tie the rope around Naoya’s feet, slipping his sandals in his trouser for him to be able to find them later, how thoughtful you are

2nd step. You get the basin you already prepared and then, you pour the hair dye inside of it

3rd step. You use your delicate arms to lift him up, pulling on the rope with the mechanism you prepared, only do this now or he could die from having too much blood going to his head. Again, you are a model for all wives with your thoughtfulness.

4th step. Let the tip of his hair soak in the hair dye and you can even use it to decorate your husband’s clothes ( ´ ▽ ` )

5th step. Let him dry here, he will take the dye in and have beautiful hair tips. When he wakes up, he won’t be calling the servants because of his pride but then take a little time to come off the gallows. And then, he will be so thankful towards his wife he might want to kill you without ever divorcing! (⁄ ⁄>⁄ ▽ ⁄<⁄ ⁄)

But you leave the garden before he wakes up, you want to surprise him.

You take your luggage, join the man/woman (dear boredom) you are actually having an affair with and get out of the house. You want him to fully experience his marriage after all, you will offer him the experience of being cucked.( ◡‿◡ *)

#theories it's conspiracy lol #scenarios #anime #yashiro nene #akugatawa ryuunosuke #ishigami senku #ishigami byakuya #kocho shinobu #tokito muichiro #yushiro #zenin naoya #kita shinsuke #me write (´・ω・｀)

[tora-the-cat]

Phantom Troupe Members in order of who I'd be least to most upset to see die

No one asked for it but I just want to be clear on my opinions on the phantom troupe and no one’s been able to stop me yet <3

Disclaimers:

a. if you like these characters then yes I think thats objectively funny but like. it doesn't make you a bad person, cringe culture dead, like what you like, I'm just someone on the internet, etc etc. go ahead and leave angry rants/dissmissive insults/'umm actually's/etc etc for me to not read anyway tho <3

b. I refuse to look up anything about them, including their names, because I don't care enough. And also because I'm going to spell their names from memory and then laugh when people correct me. So, like, know that I'm not messing up any of the names on purpose, and might not mess them up at all, but I'm not doing a joke or anything with the spelling I just really care that little

c. Also!! Mild manga spoilers?? idk why you would care because it's literally just about the phantom troupe but if that bothers u for some reason then goodbye have a nice day <3 this WILL spoil deaths that I'm pretty sure happened. Maybe. No I haven't read the manga I have ADHD and haven't properly hyperfixated on HxH since I was 13 and didn't know what Manga was.

d. I lied through my teeth! I'm a Gemini bitch, if someone somehow actually cares enough about my correct opinions about the goddamned phantom troupe to leave a mean comment I'm absolutely going to read it.e. also if u actually somehow want to talk about the phantom troupe in a civil way (excluding H*soka) PLEASE hit me up. I don't know if reasonable Phantom Troupe stans exisit but I assume they do and I promise I'm funny and nice and surprisingly conflict avoidant and I'd honestly luv 2 study u. I'm not mean the worst I'll do is ghost u I'm an Aquarius mars I swear <3

Hisoka. I hate this clown man so fucking much. Like he has funny moments I guess but it doesn't make up for how uncomfortable I am every time I see him. The rest of this list will be funnier because the rest of them are funny and obviously shiny plot devices and not much else, but the fact that this clown man is alive makes me so angry. Also there'd be no entertainment value left here after the emotional exhaustion I'd have complaining about Illumi and also I forgot he joined until just now, so I'm grouping these bitches together and moving on.

Chrolo Lucifer: this man is so funny purely on a fandom level. Like he has half the personality of a stale potato chip, but he's hot and does atrocities and pretends to have thoughts so he lives in everyone's head rent free any way. Not me tho because I'm sexy and cool. Anyway I want him dead purely because the reactions would be hilarious (on BOTH sides to be clear, because people celebrating his death would be almost as funny as people mourning it), it's what Kurapika and the Kurta's deserve, and there's literally no reason for him to exist other then to eventually die.

sphinx: he's just. really annoying. I can't back this up because I don't remember anything he does I just remember thinking he was annoying.

nobabunga: He was mean to the boys!!!!! It's a death sentence those are just the facts. He cried and I gave a nice good chuckle. I want him 2 die then never get mentioned again until Illumi offhandedly mentions that he's Kikyo's brother or cousin or somehting so Kalluto can inherit his swords. Not because they should use them just because I think Kalluto deserves swords and also it would inspire a wave of people caring about Nobaunga WAY too much (one group hating him on principal for being a member of the Zoldyk family, one group deciding he's a Big Brother Icon and reimagining him having a cute and hillariously out of character relationship with Illumi/Kalluto/Killua/Gon, and a mix of the two pumping out psycology breakdowns with entirely too much time and effort put into them, none of which I will watch but each of which will add a week onto my lifetime out of the pure amused euphoria of knowing they exist).

Franklin: Boring. He's in the phantom troupe he can do better then overplayed-frankenstein-aesthetic and bullet fingers. uninspired. At least everyone else sucks in an interesting way.

Uvo: I can't lie his fight scenes were actually pretty dope, and I HAVE to admit that it is HILARIOUS just how much work Togashi put into overpowering/hyping up Uvo, specifically so he could have an established baseline for exactly how incomprehensibly and overwhelmingly excessive Kurapika's will and hatred is. Also that demi lavato AMV of his and Kurapika's fight is just free dopamine. Glad he's dead but he was funny while it lasted and I can appriciate what he gave to the story.

boxing gloves. I know nothing about them (including their name). They might already be dead in the manga but I don't think so.

Pakunda. I don't know how to elaborate on her bc I don't care about her all that much but some part of me can't help but kind of like her a little? I dunno. her loyalty would almost be commendable if it wasn't to Chr*llo.

Pheiten. his character concept and design is literally 'what if we combined Levi and Aizawa and then made him super fucked up' which is impressive because he was made like two decades before either of them. can't justify putting him this far up the list either because he's honestly kinda boring and overplayed but he looks cool and he's funny in a 'what the fuck is wrong with you??' way so here he is.

Kortopi. No I won't elaborate. Yes I know they're dead and I have no significant emotions about this besides >:I

Shizuku. She's cute and she has ADHD and plinky(?) the vaccum is one my favorite nen-things in the show. I'd love to study her and I honestly like her a bit more then I want to.

Machi. I love her specifically because she hates Hisoka. That's all she needs to get a pass in my book. doesn't hurt that she has pink hair and the closest thing to resembling common sense in the group. If Hisoka kills her I'll riot because she doesn't deserve that but if anyone else does it that's fine.

shalnark should be the leader of the Spiders, there, I said it. he embodies them and their narritive purpose and their nonexistant philosophy and arbitrary but unshakable rules and their faux 'emotional depth and complexity' that so many people buy into. He's so funny I love him so much. Like cholo is out here trying to double major in philosophy and theology and fooling thousands into thinking theres a single thought in his head meanwhile Shalnark's only personality trait is being a buisness major with no empathy, and if he was in charge the phantom troupe would loose all of the ambiguity people somehow beleive they have. Like Shalnark is played so straight that I can't help but lowkey love him. Kurta theory is fun in a fucked up way like tfw u become emblamatic of the group you helped kill your clan and you didn't even know because you live in meteor city. Yes I know he's dead and yes it's the closest I've ever come to caring about the troupe and yes it took me three whole days to get over it. Not my best moment I'll admit.

For the record if Kalluto dies I'm going to have at least one mental breakdown. Fuck you.

#hxh #phantom troupe #hisoka tw #hisoka #illumi zoldyck #chrollo lucilfer #phinks #shalnark #nobunaga hxh #franklin hxh #uvogin #pakunoda #kortopi #shizuku hxh #machi #kalluto zoldyck #luv u bby

[scone-lover]

@findingniamho​

HAHAHAHA thank you so much for this ask!!! ❤️ This is exciting. Honestly the Egghead fight was one of the most entertaining scenes to write. (Coming up with all the puns was an egg-celent time.) Rereading it just now was like an out of body experience 😂 

Link to the original chapter here - passage & commentary below the cut!

So I have to start with how this scene was born. This is a Simon scene. He’s had a couple fight scenes with Vampire, but I wanted to show him off as the superhero of the city. What was he doing before Vampire appeared on the scene? What are his strengths and weaknesses? Despite the scene’s silliness, it’s also one of the first where we start to get a sense of what Mayor Mage is up to. 

So I knew I wanted him to do the typical defending-the-city thing, and showcase him and Penny as the dread companions power duo.

Besides the plot stuff, my main goal was to make this scene as ridiculously, stereotypically comic book-ish as possible. 😂Hence, Egghead the Villain.

Most of the credit for Egghead goes to my friend -- they’re really into DC and helped me with a lot of the plot stuff in this fic and making things semi-realistic. (Every time you read a clever plot point, it was probably them. 😂) For this non-Vampire fight, my friend suggested a gangster who was doing crimes and bribing the police. Hence this exchange--

“Okay, okay, um-- fuck. Did you call the police?” She huffs. “Yes, and I think they’ve been fucking bribed, because they pretended they didn’t even know who Egghead was! Can you believe that?”

I made him a repeat villain because honestly, I just thought it was more compelling that way. They know who he is already, Simon can grumble about him, they have egg-themed quips at the ready, etc. 😂 

As for the name, Egghead. I love how it came together because Simon is a baker, and I was able to work a couple baking jokes in there eventually. But in reality, it was me begging my superhero expert friend (named t below) to help me out with crafting this villain and coming up with some witty exchanges. A transcript of our conversation with the brainstorming and some of the rejects--

t: the gangster has a nickname right? he has to if he’s a supervillain t: make it a gimmick t: like if he has a red outfit call him mr. red or something t: he has a flamethrower and call him dragon (this made it in, later) me: Vampire already has a flamethrower t: they can be forced to fight him together me: Vampire is at home studying bc he’s a NERD t: ok he can be bald and simon can call him egghead me: THANKS I HATE IT t: simon throws him on the ground at the end of the fight - that was over-easy me: I hate you where do you get this shit t: I mean it’s typical superhero stuff t: he wears yellow and white and deals crack me: This fic is so food themed I love it t: that’s your villain. that’s it. t: listen, if the Flash can have an ice skating villain, YOU CAN HAVE EGGHEAD. And he was born.

(And yes, The Flash does have an ice skating villain. AND SHE DOESN’T EVEN HAVE ICE POWERS.)

Okay, let’s do this! Warning that this is definitely going to go through more than 500 words of the chapter. 😂 

Men dressed in black suits with bright yellow pocket squares. And larger men around the perimeter, wearing grey and holding flashlights. It looks more like a business transaction than anything; there are briefcases and money being passed back and forth, hands being shaken. “Hey!” I call. There are six men, and they all turn to stare at me, and then make a run for it. The flashlight beams dart wildly and I hear a few of them clatter to the floor. Everyone starts yelling at once and looking for an escape.

I basically watched an episode of Brooklyn-99 and crafted the warehouse drug deal based on that. 

“Don’t move. There’s only one exit,” Penny says in my ear. “And you’re standing in front of it.” I stand my ground, but no one comes near me. The suited guys stay slightly behind the muscular ones. Finally, one of them steps forward. “Mage’s Head Boy. Come to tell us off?”

This scene was also an opportunity to have Penny in Simon’s ear! I wanted them to work together more closely than just talking about superhero stuff - I wanted Penny to be invaluable to Simon’s superhero success and in on the action, too. She’s kind of modeled after Oracle from Batman throughout this fic. 

Mage’s Head Boy is a pretty transparent CO reference. 

There are times when I’m grateful for my ability to just have muscles and growl at people and make them disappear, and there are times when I wish I was witty like Vampire. This is definitely the second. I can’t think of a response to that. Luckily, I have a best friend with a head full of wit. “Tell them to fuck off,” Penny says. Then again, maybe not. What would Vampire say? I get hot and frustrated in the face of danger. He seems to get cooler the higher the stakes get. I fall into a fighting stance. “You wish.” The guy takes a step backwards. “But since I can’t bring you to the police, I suppose I’ll just have to teach you a lesson.” “That was good,” Penny says in my ear.

I obviously had to work a bit of Baz jealousy / crushing into this. I like the idea of Penny being super blunt. She’s smart and sometimes witty, but more often she just says it like it is. “Cooler the higher the stakes get” was a direct reference to the similar line in Carry On. With Simon’s last line - this scene was all about showcasing him as a “typical” superhero that you’d find in a comic, fighting a classic comic book villain. So I gave him one of those cheesy lines.

I’m surrounded. There must be fifteen or twenty of them. Eight huge muscular guys, and the rest in suits. They form a loose circle around me. Almost all of them wield knives, but I don’t see any guns so far.

I knew from the outset I wanted this to be a one-against-many fight. At this point in the story I’d set up a good dynamic for Blade vs Vampire, but not so much Blade vs. other city threats. What makes him a trustworthy hero? Simon’s origin story is that he got news attention by fighting off a group - so putting him in this group fight setting was a chance for him to shine.

A man steps out from the shadows. He’s bald, with a straight, dark mustache, and he’s wearing a pristine white suit and a shirt the colour of an egg yolk. “Egghead,” I say in what I hope is a threatening tone. The name sounds absurd. I’m glad the mask covers my mouth, because I don’t think I can keep a straight face. Penny coughs. Benedict Eggerton, better known as Egghead, is a drug lord who wears yellow and deals… crack. (I know.) (He got into crime early; his parents were poachers.) (Okay, I made that one up. I can’t help it.) I put him in jail earlier this year, but he escaped and fled north.

I was laughing so hard while writing this. You can see in the text exchange above where the suit and nickname came from. I was trying to come up with what his first name might be (my first idea was Sunny). I was so amused when I finally thought of Benedict. 😂 The poachers line is also from my friend T, and the “north” is a reference to Scotland, which comes back later as the Scotch Egg joke.

I draw my weapon, trying to look as menacing as possible. “I remember your blade being bigger,” he says, eyeing my kitchen knife. “Is it too cold for you in here?”

PFFFFFT I LOVE THIS JOKE okay so. I originally made Simon forget his sword because I thought the fight would be too easy - and going back to what I said above, he’s kind of returning to his “roots” with this fight - that spark he has that makes him a hero. And then I wrote the line “I remember your blade being bigger.” TO BE CLEAR, this was not originally intended as an innuendo. 

And then my friend said something like ‘he should turn up the heating in this warehouse then’, and I was like OH DING DING DING PENIS JOKE! 😂I’m oblivious sometimes. I’m glad I realized in time because this is honestly one of my favorite villain lines I’ve ever written.

I really, really wanted to give the “too cold” line to Vampire. It would be perfect for him. But Simon always has his normal sword with Vamp, so Egghead it was. And he instantly became an icon. 😂 

I twirl the knife between my fingers. “I can crack you anyway.” “Good effort,” Penny whispers. “But a bit rough on the delivery. 'Take a crack at you' might have been better...” “Sword or no sword,” I continue, “you’ll be an egg wash by the end of this.” “What?” Penny says. “Is that a baking reference?” Egghead cracks his knuckles, and his men rush me.

Much like Penny does later in the scene, I had a tab open of egg-related words up while writing this. I had to work in the baking reference. But a terrible one. There’s a French term for whisking eggs that basically translates to “beating eggs into snow” - and I wish it was a thing in English, because, you know, Simon Snow. Oh well. 😂 

I Google a list of ways to make eggs. Simon needs to win this fight, but more importantly, he needs to get some egg-themed one-liners in there to show them who’s boss. Chances like this don’t come around very often. 

Listen, Penny is very dedicated. I love the idea of heroes just being quick-witted and coming up with these ridiculous quips on demand. But ultimately, I thought it was funnier - and more in character for Penny - to do this. (Even though her Superhero name is Quickwit, oops.) She has the world of Google at her disposal. Egg puns may not seem important, but superhero image and reputation is half the battle.

Simon is being attacked from all angles, but he fights like a whirlwind. The bulky guys attack first, mostly with their fists. Simon kicks their legs out from under them. He throws them across the floor like they weigh nothing. “Behind you!” I say. Simon spins around and disarms the man behind him, twisting his arm, and I hear a shout through my earbuds. He grabs the guy’s knife and kicks him in the stomach, sending him sprawling. Simon Snow faces fifteen men with nothing but two knives, looking like he’s ready to explode.

I loved writing this from Penny’s POV. I am used to writing fight scenes from the POV of the person fighting, so this was definitely a cool challenge. It’s part of why I brought Penny into the scene in the first place - so I could show Simon in third person. Almost like we’re watching a movie and getting some overhead shots. From his POV, you don’t realize quite how awesome he is. So getting to showcase him like this was really fun.

I still have to wonder how Shepard knew… well, everything. 

Don’t tell anyone but I didn’t know yet either

“He’s Scottish,” I tell Simon. “Scotch Egg.”

I know. This one’s bad.

He’s a blur of gold and white in motion. He throws his knife—I have no idea where he learned to do that—and it embeds itself in one of the men’s legs. He rolls across the floor, picking up two more discarded knives.

I don’t do a ton of plotting/outlining with fight scenes, but one thing I decide in advance is where and how everyone gets hurt. I didn’t want Simon to win the fight too easily, but I did need to injure him somehow. So it wouldn’t be too easy, but also to serve as a counterpoint to the socks thing later.

I watched a lot of action sequences to write this fic, especially with the trickier one vs. many scenes. 

Simon tosses him like a sack of flour.

Couldn’t resist the baker!Simon reference.

“Hard or soft boiled,” I whisper. “Which way is it gonna be, Egghead? Hard or soft boiled?” Simon shouts. He whispers to me, “That was stupid.” Egghead raises an eyebrow. “Last chance to leave us alone, Blade.” I consult my list of egg dishes. “Give up before you get scrambled.” Simon twirls his blades. I love it when he does that; he looks like Deadpool. “It’s your last chance to surrender before you get scrambled.”

I loved the hard or soft boiled line at first. And then I wrote it down and said it out loud, just to check, and it sounded SO DUMB. 😂I almost took it out, but then figured—Simon is probably not going to think this through, either.

Maybe the Deadpool line was a bit on the nose here, but I wanted to give readers some really vivid imagery of what Simon looks like right now with these dual wicked blades kitchen knives.

“I prefer my eggs… poached,” he says. 

Even though Egghead has turned out to be quite a serious villain—there are guns, drugs, and a backstory—he is, after all, original master of the egg puns. He would never turn down this opportunity.

Egghead scrambles (ha) to his feet

I think Penny is just me in this.

“Over-easy,” I whisper.

“That was over-easy,” he says.

Not my best. But it had to be in there.

I’ll skip the serious bits, since the plot there is pretty self-explanatory, to this:

I wish he’d asked what we serve, because I have so many egg puns at the ready. Eggs-ecution. Hash-ing out justice. Karma served hard.  

My beta ashspren gave me this line, and I could not be more grateful. Imagine the chapter without this. It would be a shame.

Here are a few egg puns that didn’t make the cut, SADLY:

You're washed out, egghead

*Egghead gets angry* hey, it was just a yolk

I had to go "beat" some eggs

*uppercut* Sunny side UP!

I'll bash in your Eggnoggin’

Some people are just bad eggs

Sorry this is so long—this has been a purely self-indulgent experience. Thanks so much for this ask, I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you like it! ❤️ 

#ask #fanfic asks #ask game #dvd commentary #holding out for a hero #heroverse #hero fic #superhero snowbaz #the golden blade #hfh #behind the scenes #bts #writing things #hfh behind the scenes