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#I’ve never watched rebels
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Rebels has been a comfort show for me longer than I’ve actually cared about star wars (my grade 6 self loved watching Disney XD on tv what can I say🤷🏻‍♀️)
And the main reason is because of how much the ghost crew loved each other..they were a family and I loved that about them
Anyways, I haven’t felt that same comfort until The Bad Batch and I just love it so much
I’m gonna feel super empty when this season ends :(
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concerningjedis · 7 months
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Not me, a Star Wars Fan™️, having to google a Star Wars political timeline every time I watch a new series
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teememdee · 8 months
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me learning the new Ahsoka episode doesn’t have Sabine and/or Shin in it at all so therefore I don’t care this week and you are free from new homoerotic Star Wars gifsets on your dash that I get delusional over until next week hopefully
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loveinhawkins · 11 months
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The RV careens out of the trailer park and hits the open road with what pretty much amounts to ‘all speed, no grace.’ The turn Steve makes is, quite frankly, abysmal; he’s sure that if his driving instructor could see him now, the poor man would be weeping in distress.
Yet his passengers erupt into cheers as they pass the Leaving Hawkins sign, like he’s pulled some kind of James Bond move.
And, for all his insistence on being the absolute antithesis to so-called ‘jock culture’, Eddie rushes over to the driver’s seat, starts squeezing Steve’s shoulder with decidedly jock-like exuberance.
“Holy shit, holy shit, that was so fucking cool, Harrington.”
Oh, he’s definitely broken through the depression stage of the ‘finding out there’s an alternate dimension in Hawkins’ journey—landing firmly in the fuck it, might as well have some fun stage.
Steve could tell they’d reached that point even before the goddamn ‘big boy’ comment, when Eddie had taken one look at the Michael Myers mask, looked Max dead in the eye and said, “This is gonna be. So fuckin’ stupid. Let’s do it.”
Steve goes through a few seconds more of having his shoulder pummelled before saying, “Dude, you’re doing a shitty job at being undercover, stay down.”
“Like, do you have any idea,” Eddie says breathily, as if Steve hasn’t spoken, “just how perfect that was? That was, God, a childhood dream fully—”
“You dreamed of stealing an RV?” Steve says dubiously.
“Not in such crude literal terms, no. C’mon, Harrington, you must’ve had an imagination once—”
“Hey!”
“—didn’t you ever dream of, like, daring escapes, pulling the sword outta the stone, all that shit?”
Steve thinks about it. “I mean,” he says, “when I was a kid, I just kinda… climbed trees and stuff.”
Eddie sighs as if he can’t decide whether Steve’s done something especially annoying or endearing. “Of course you did.”
They reach a stop sign and Eddie finally flops into the passenger seat, facing Steve like he’s sitting side saddle on a horse.
“So,” Steve says, “I take a right after this, yeah?”
“Mm-hmm, well remembered, Mr Getaway Driver.”
Steve scoffs, glances over—finds Eddie framing him with his index finger and thumb, like a director trying to capture the perfect shot.
“James Dean,” Eddie says authoritatively, dropping his hands.
“What?”
“Was tryin’ to figure it out, your whole look, you know? Very Rebel Without a Cause.”
“Okay,” Steve says, “but I have a cause, we all do.”
Eddie just blinks at him, and Steve chuckles.
“You, idiot.”
“Oh.”
Steve has a moment to appreciate the way Eddie’s eyes go all soft and maybe just a little shiny, before he has to set off again. He takes the right turning.
“We should watch it,” Eddie says eventually. “Hell, I’ll take any movie. Just gimme, like, two hours of not having to think.”
“Tell me about it.”
Steve’s sure he’ll never complain about double VHS tapes ever again. Then a thought occurs to him.
“Shit.” He calls to the back. “Rob?”
“Yeah?”
“Y’know when we left Family Video, did we even lock up?”
“Yes,” Robin says followed immediately by, “No?”
Steve snorts. “God, we’re so fired.”
He hears Robin making her way up to the front, then Eddie saying, “Oof, Buckley, that was right in the ribs.”
“Why the sudden concern about our jobs, dingus?”
“I’m not concerned, I just got reminded of—Eddie was mentioning—”
“—Rebel Without a Cause,” Eddie finishes.
“Oh, Steve, I know you’ve seen it, I put it on last week!”
“Uh, maybe I was preoccupied doing, I dunno, my job.”
“It’s the one with—”
“James Dean,” Eddie cuts in.
“Yeah, I gathered, thanks,” Steve says sarcastically, but he can’t help smiling as he does so.
“—and it’s, you know,” Robin goes on, “troubled kid moves to a new town, and—”
“Aw,” Steve says, “you think I’m troubled, Munson?”
“It’s all in the eyes, Harrington. Such depths.”
“Right?” Robin says, and she’s laughing, tongue-in-cheek, “I’ve always said so.”
“You ever considered wearing a leather jacket?”
Steve laughs, too. “Tell ya what, Eddie, why don’t I just wear all your clothes?”
“Well, we know denim suits you.”
“If only you saw his last car-stealing outfit, Eddie.”
Steve sighs. “Robin, shut it.”
“Excuse me,” Eddie says, “d’you have form, Harrington? Grand theft auto form?”
“Literally once. Crazy circumstances.” Rest in peace, Todfather. “It was a Cadillac.”
“A Cadillac.” Eddie sighs dreamily. “Do you have any photos?”
“Uh, no, I was kinda busy.”
“I shall mourn the loss.”
“Take the next left here,” Nancy calls, which Steve is grateful for—the directions had gone completely out of his head.
“Wheeler, come up to the front,” Eddie says, “it’s a party.”
She must do, because her voice sounds much closer when she says, “Shit, I think I forgot to lock up, too.”
“Don’t worry,” Steve says, “no-one’s gonna ransack The Weekly Streak.”
Another stop sign—Steve looks over, smirks at how Eddie has ended up squished between Nancy and Robin, all of them sharing the one seat.
“They better not.” To Eddie, Nancy adds, “I think I gave your uncle the impression that I’m doing a big piece on you. Like, testimonials for an innocent man, stuff like that.”
For a flicker of a second, Eddie looks nauseated at the thought—Steve spots the shift, the decision to make a joke about it.
“Well, Wheeler, you better make me sound good.”
“Oh, I was going more for journalistic integrity.”
“Hey.”
Steve hears a couple of thumps behind him; without even glancing in the mirror, he says, “Sit your asses down, shitheads, don’t make me turn this thing around.”
“Don’t make me turn this thing around!” Lucas parrots.
Max scoffs playfully: “Nineteen going on forty.”
“Eddie was standing before!” Erica points out.
Steve rolls his eyes. “Yeah, well, Eddie’s a law unto himself. Look, just sit down and, like, make a list or something, I’ll stop off for food after we’ve—”
Dustin laughs. “You really are forty.”
“Uh-huh, one more wisecrack and you’re not getting any chocolate pudding.”
Steve’s hamming it up, he knows he is—smiles to himself as he hears a quartet of giggles.
“Can you believe they used to think I was cool?” he says.
“I dunno, Harrington,” Eddie says warmly, “at least one of them doth protest too much.”
Nancy stands in search of a pen, Robin following, insisting to Dustin that, “We’re getting one of those camp stoves, if I don’t eat something hot soon, I’m gonna die.”
“Yeah,” Steve says. Maybe it’s because they’ll soon be arriving at The War Zone; his levity slips just a little when he says, “It’s probably, like, a proximity thing. Henderson’ll have a scientific term for it.”
Eddie chuckles. “What, the Steve Harrington effect?”
Steve shrugs. “You get too close, the shine wears off eventually.”
He doesn’t realise until he’s said it that the joking, perhaps, has stopped somewhere along the way.
“Huh,” Eddie says. “I’m no scientist, but that doesn’t sound like the Steve Harrington effect to me.”
“No?” Steve says.
He can see the parking lot in the distance, and he gestures for Eddie to duck.
“Nope,” Eddie says. Steve can hear him moving, crouching to hide behind the driver’s seat.
He parks and everyone’s abruptly all business, deciding who’s staying in the RV, who’s going into The War Zone.
Steve hates it, has a sudden intense longing to keep talking about movies, to just be stupid.
And maybe Eddie can tell, because just before Steve heads out, he catches his eye, smiles.
“Hey, don’t worry, Harrington,” he says with a tiny, fleeting wink. “You’re still my leading man.”
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starlazergazer · 1 year
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It’s Not Too Late
Pairing: Anakin x Reader
Request: Anakin gets a second chance to have true freedom and peace! Reader comes across Darth Vader for the first time after order 66 and attempts to pull Anakin back on the right path.
Warnings: None, some angst
Word count: 3k
A/N: Only in this one very instance can you fix him! I know the request asks for fluffy but I made this super angsty instead with some fighting banter between Anakin and the reader so I hope you like it because I loved writing it!
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You’d heard the whispers, how could you not, though no one was ever brave enough to tell you them to your face. Not that you blamed them. That your best friend Anakin Skywalker could be the famous Darth Vader, Palpatine’s personal padawan, was so ludicrous, so ridiculous, you wouldn’t have let anyone utter the accusation in your presence leave unscathed.
And yet still a part of you knew.
The day it happened, the exact moment it happened, you could feel it. More than a disturbance in the force, more than a breaking of prophecy: a betrayal, a very personal very painful betrayal.
But still looking up at the man you had thought you once knew from your position chained on the floor you felt the last part of your hope die, unaware even that that hope had existed in the first place.
“I didn’t want to believe the rumors” you shook your head at him, eyes bouncing back and forth between those familiar but very different blue ones.
“And here I thought you’d be happy to see me” a smirk grew over his lips as he looked down at you. And somehow those words hurt worse than seeing him walk around with such authority through the empire’s army, more than seeing a new infamously red saber strapped to his hip.
“You’ve changed” you shook your head back up at him, feeling the lump grow in the base of your throat with each passing minute “You are not the Anakin I knew”
“I am exactly the Anakin you knew” he chuckled back at you, crossing his arms over his chest as he sat down calmly in the chair before you, causally crossing one leg over the other “Just finally lived up to my full potential”
And you didn’t know how to respond to that, to his complete acceptance, even beyond that his full belief that he was being aided by the dark side of the force, that it was somehow making him better, stronger. “What do you want?”
“Your base” he answered plainly, leaving forward in his seat to rest his elbows on his knees staring down at you “the rebel base, I want coordinates”
“What makes you think I have them?” You asked with a shrug, watching the smug smile slowly fade from his face.
“Don’t play dumb it was never a good look on you”
You felt your own anger spike within you as his did. He clearly didn’t know you that well if he thought you would give it up this easy. “What happened to being the chosen one?” You taunted him, turning to pressing his buttons on purpose, proving even if just to yourself that at least you knew him “you were supposed to-“
“-bring balance to the force yes I’ve heard it all before” and oh how you relished the anger in his tone, in the way the words hissed out through a clenched jaw, the way his eyes narrowed down at you ever so slightly, you’d always enjoyed messing with angry Anakin “answer the question”
“I’m just saying if you wanna talk about playing dumb, does turning to the dark side really seem like the best way to go about that?”
“Says the one chained to the floor” he pushed to his feet towering over you as he spoke “Now because of our past I’m giving you a chance here, a chance to answer to me instead of the emperor, do not mistake this kindness for weakness” and before you could respond he was turning around and walking back through the door, but you weren’t done. You couldn’t let him leave it like that, couldn’t let him bring up your past friendship like it was nothing more than a bargaining chip to be cashed in later.
“You know I thought we had lost you with order 66” You called out after him “I mourned your death” you couldn’t even bring yourself to feel shame over the way your voice shook, overwhelming amounts of anger and betrayal trumping any and all other emotions within you.
He didn’t even look back as he spoke in a disturbingly monotone voice “Anakin Skywalker is dead. I am what remains”
You shook your head at his response though he couldn’t see it, hating him for the way he tried to hide from what he has done, shelter who he once was from the man he has become.
A bitter laugh escaped you “No, you don’t get to distance yourself from your own actions, you don’t get to protect that jedi you once were by calling yourself a different name.”
His body went rigid at your words, the surprise from your outburst evident in his reaction, it wouldn’t surprise you to learn that you were the first person to ever call him out on it.
“Anakin Skywalker was my friend” you pushed on, spitting the words at his feet “and you tarnish his memory with every action done in the name of the empire"
Anakin spun around on his heel at your words, a dangerous smirk on his face before he knelt down squatting before you, an all too familiar mischievous twinkle in his eye “You know I always liked the way you spoke your mind no matter what” A taunt in his tone, a look that dared you to step out of line “You never really knew when to shut up did you? I suggest you learn”
“You forget that I know you” you taunted back, leaning in even closer to him, showing him he wasn’t scaring you by forcing proximity “you can’t hide behind your charms from me Skywalker”
Still the smug smirk didn’t drop from his face, his eyes taking a second to bounce between yours before locking on a piece of hair that fell in front of your face. Slowly his hand reached out, effortlessly tucking it back behind your ear like he had done a thousand times before. And suddenly you were back beneath the stars with him, talking about the future, upcoming missions, battle strategies, just about anything you could think of to keep him out there with you.
His hand struck with practiced efficiency, reaching out to grab your chin before you could even comprehend its movement, his fingers digging into your cheeks as he held your gaze on his “You will tell me where the rebel base is or I will take you to see emperor Palpatine, and trust me neither of us wants that to happen”
And even though the mere gesture of pulling your hair behind your ear had sent your heart racing and your mind reeling you forced your eyes to lock onto his, pushing down any feelings of familiarity, telling yourself exactly what he had just told you moments ago Anakin Skywalker is dead, he is what remains
“What’s the magic word?”
He cracked a smile at that, still holding you in place for a few seconds longer, giving you one last opportunity to answer before finally dropping your face, muttering a soft “so be it” before standing back up and heading for the door.
-
It had been easy to escape your bindings, too easy honestly, to the point that a small part of you wondered if you had been meant to escape them in the first place, if this was what your past with Anakin was worth to him, a chance and a poorly hidden saber.
You broke for the nearest town as soon as you could, keeping low and your thin scarf pulled over your face knowing it was far too easy to stick out in the empty desert.
You didn’t make it that far.
“You really thought it would be that easy?” His voice taunted you from behind, your body sagging slightly as you heard it, you hadn’t even noticed his approach.
“Yeah honestly” you returned, spinning around to face him “planning was never your forte”
He chuckled softly at that, shaking his head, casting his eyes down to his feet as he rested a single hand on his saber on his hip, looking far too much like the Anakin you had once known long ago. “Tell me where the base is Y/N”
And even though it remained unsaid you could feel the threat in his voice, in the way he glared at you, in the way his hand on his saber twitched.
“Are you not going to ask me about him?” You knew now wasn’t the time for the question, knew it was dumb to press that particular button now, but you couldn’t stand letting Anakin cast him off like this, cast you off like this.
He faltered at your question, his shoulders dropping slightly, his hand slipping from his saber. “You’ve been in contact with him?”
“Of course I have” you sighed, “And Ahsoka, Rex” you let your sentence trail off, hang in the air, let him come to you and ask the question if he wanted to know.
An uncomfortable silence hung in the air as Anakin waited, as you waited, only breaking when his voice spoke up, a shake in it you weren’t expecting “are they-“
And maybe it was the way his voice shook, the way his posture slumped, the way those all too familiar blue eyes were silently begging you, but you took pity on him, chancing a small step forward as you finished his sentence “they’re okay. Ahsoka even removed Rex’s chip, they’re all okay”
Another silence hung in the air, an almost imperceptible nod in Anakin’s head as he stared down at his feet, only looking up to chance a look at you when he finally spoke again, in a small defeated voice “just tell me where the base is Y/N, that’s all I need, then I can turn around and pretend I never saw you here”
You sighed at that, shaking your head softly “You know I can’t do that Ani”
He chuckled bitterly at that, going for his saber, igniting it, his face illuminating in red as he did so.
And instinctively your hand went to your own saber, ready to draw it and defend yourself, ready to be caught up in a sparing match with Anakin just as you had so many times before, but no, you had to remind yourself, it wouldn’t be just sparing this time around, not anymore.
You unclipped it from your belt, taking a moment to feel its weight in your hand, before tossing it to the side, watching the sand around it kick up as it landed a few feet away from you. “I won’t fight you”
Anakin shook his head, his eyes snapping to your saber on the ground next to you, a bitter laugh that didn’t full materialize on his lips “I’m not falling for that”
“Its not a trick” you shrugged, opening your hands before you, “I won’t fight you”
“Pick up your saber Y/N” he yelled at you, still holding his own before him, still poised to strike but holding back, waiting “I will not tell you again”
You watched him with a small shake of your head “Ani I can’t fight you”
And for a second you just watched his chest rise and fall quickly as a war raged in his mind, as he debated his next steps, before a frustrated yell ripped through the air and he was charging at you, and you couldn’t help yourself, you closed your eyes, a breath catching in your chest as you waited for the inevitable, and kept on waiting.
A tentative eye opened to see a bright flash of red, hovering just above your shoulder, just waiting there. Your gaze followed it up to Anakin only to see he wasn’t looking at you, he was looking down at his saber. And you could tell from the look in his eyes, from the way his grip kept changing, from the rapid fall and rise of his chest, that he was trying to talk himself into it.
Then a sigh and the blade was retracted, Anakin refusing to meet your gaze as he stepped back “get out of here Y/N”
And immediately you took a step back, your body begging you to run, to put this place and Anakin as far behind you as possible. But still you couldn’t.
“Come with me”
His gaze snapped up to yours in surprise, his eyebrows crunched together in confusion “I can’t” it came out as more a question.
“You can” you tried to encourage him, taking a tentative step towards him “You can come with me now and we can figure the rest of it out”
“I work for the empire” he spoke softly, “the empire isn’t what you think it is, they’re doing good, I’m doing good”
You sighed with a shake of your head, still inching forward, still holding out hope “You, you became the very thing you sought to destroy. Turning your back on everything you once stood for”
“Did I?” he challenged you calmly, repeating thoughts you knew he’d already gone through a thousand times before “or am I still upholding my same beliefs. I vowed to serve the republic and I still do, no matter what name it goes by now”
“You vowed to serve the people of the republic” you corrected “and now under the empires rule those people suffer”
“under the empire’s rule they are safe” he countered “From the time we were children we were told we were meant to be peacekeepers and that is exactly what I am doing now”
“You call this peace?” You couldn’t help but chuckle “How many die each day because of the empire’s tyranny”
“Because of the resistances rebellion” he countered but there was no malice in it, not the same angry argument as before but rather a debate.
“Look at them Anakin” you gestured to the town just before you, at the people begging for scraps outside of the bar, at the buildings crumbling from lack of maintenance “this is the effect the empire has on people”
Anakin shook his head at the sight before him, his eyes casting back down to the sand too quickly.
“Look at them” you repeated, putting more force into your words, practically begging him “Look at what the empire has done to this town, what you have done.”
“The empire stopped the war” Anakin’s gaze suddenly snapped back up to yours, a new defensiveness in his tone you weren’t used to hearing from him “these people are at peace, they do not fear for their lives anymore and that is what the empire has done”
“These people are starving” you objected, trying to keep your voice light but firm “they no longer fear death at the hands of intergalactic war but rather storm troopers on a power trip, bounty hunters, vagrants. They are far from safe”
“And what would you have me do now?” He demanded, exasperation in his tone “I stopped a war, I gave everything to stop a war”
“And now?” you questioned him “you did it, you stopped the war, why are you with them now?”
Anakin didn’t respond to that, his mind churning as his eyes bounced back and forth between yours, not saying a word as his fists clenched and unclenched at his sides.
It all seemed to click for you then, where his hesitation was coming from, his stubbornness, his need to believe he was right, had been right all along “It’s not too late for you you know”
Anakin froze on the spot, eyes jumping up to meet yours, desperately willing for you to continue.
“You made a few mistakes, took some missteps but you can still do good”
“I’ve made a lot more than a few mistakes” his tone was soft and dejected.
“That’s okay” you tried to assure him with a shake of your head “You can still do good”
He shook his head in response, eyes finally lifting from you to scan the town around you “that’s not who I’m meant to be, that is not my destiny”
“Screw destiny” you countered quickly “it wasn’t long ago your destiny was to bring balance to the force and now the jedi order no longer exists. There is no more destiny there is just the choices you make here and now”
“I can’t” he objected weakly with a shake of his head “I can’t just leave”
“you can” you countered but saw as he refused to listen to you, taking steps back, so you forward, without a second thought wrapping your arms around his neck, whispering the words into his ear “Ani you can”
And you felt him go rigid under your touch, refuse to give in, but not quite pushing you off.
“Let go what you have done in the past” you tried to urge him “focus on what you can do now. And right now you can help them. You can help me”
And slowly you felt his arms come up, first placed awkwardly on your back, giving you a chance to take it all back, before slowly wrapping completely around you, pulling you deeper into him, a shaky breath escaping him as he did so, as he buried his face in your hair “I don’t know how it all went so wrong”
“I know Ani I know” you assured him softly, rubbing a hand up and down his back “but now we can work to make it better”
“We?” You heard the hope in his voice and couldn’t help but chuckle, chuckle and fight to keep the tears at bay.
Pulling back from him softly, noting the way his arms seemed reluctant to let you go completely, just enough that you could look into his eyes. “You and me, we’ll make it right”
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dystopicjumpsuit · 16 days
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DJ MY LOVE!
May I request, from the cuddle prompts, of you feel so inspired:
- Feeling the rumble of their chest when they talk while cuddling
Or
- Needing their cuddles even though they have something else to do
With Tech! Haven't asked for him in a while and I think we could all use some Tech fluff right about now.
(If you get a bunch of asks for the same Clone or just feel a pull towards another clone, feel free to change it. 😘)
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A/N: REBEL MY LOVE! Thank you for this! I’ve never written Tech before, and I was a bit intimidated, so I hope I’ve done justice to our boy. Also, you get two prompts for the price of one 🩵
Pairing: Tech x Reader (GN; reader is shorter than Tech but not otherwise described, aside from having a rough morning and a tendency to keep things bottled up)
Rating: T (but as always, minors DNI)
Wordcount: 789
Warnings and tags: fluff, cuddles, Star Wars swearing, adult language
Summary: You swear to the Maker, if ONE MORE THING goes wrong today, you’re going to lose your mind. Tech has an exceptional idea for how to help.
Masterlist | Sign up for my tag list
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“Dank farrik,” you muttered under your breath.
The kriffing durang fruit you’d planned on turning into muffins had gone off. It smelled like death itself, and you gagged as you tossed it into the trash compactor. With a sigh, you glanced at your chronometer and winced.
Late. Kark. 
You snatched up your cup of caf as your brain raced to think of an alternative breakfast that you could pull together in a hurry before your scheduled holocomm. Not that Omega or the Batch really needed you to cook breakfast for them, but Benduday morning muffins had become something of a tradition, and you really, really didn’t want to see the matching disappointment in Omega and Wrecker’s eyes when you told them they would need to fend for themselves that day.
Maybe Shep has some extra—
“MOTHERKRIFFER!” you exclaimed, cutting off your own train of thought as the lid on your mug popped loose and you doused yourself in hot caf.
A quiet rustle sounded from the front of the Marauder as Tech slid out from beneath the control console and sat up to watch you, setting aside his hydrospanner. With supreme effort, you managed to keep your eye from twitching as you braced yourself for a well-deserved lecture on your language.
“Is everything all right?” he asked instead.
“Peachy,” you grumbled, grabbing a towel to wipe off your shirt in disgust.
He rose quietly and approached. “I do not believe you.”
“What gave it away?” you snapped, flinging the towel into the sink with a frankly unnecessary level of force.
“You are upset. Given the relatively minor nature of the incident, I deduce that something else is bothering you. Do you wish to discuss it?”
“Not really.”
“Astonishing,” he said dryly. 
“The kriff is that supposed to mean?” you demanded.
“Merely that I have observed that you often prefer not to discuss your struggles, though I hope none of us have ever made you feel as though you should not speak freely when something is troubling you.”
You blinked, too surprised to be offended at his earlier sarcasm. “You have?”
“Indeed.”
Well… shit.
“It’s nothing,” you lied. Tech made no response, but he didn’t bother to hide his skepticism. “Fine. It’s a bunch of tiny somethings that have all piled up on top of each other, and nothing is going the way I had planned, and I’m hungry, damn it, and now I have to think of something to cook for breakfast, except I have no kriffing caf left to make my brain work, and I have no other fruit to make muffins, so Wrecker and Omega are going to give me the tooka eyes, and I have a stupid holocomm that I’m expecting at literally any minute, and I don’t even want to talk to them, but I feel like I have to, and I swear to the Maker, if ONE more thing goes wrong, I’m going to lose my ever-loving mind!”
You grabbed the towel and began to scrub the sink furiously, desperate to focus on something other than the conversation that you very much didn’t want to have. After a few seconds, though, you felt a weight on your shoulder. You turned to see Tech’s hand resting there, and for a moment you were so shocked that you stopped scrubbing. He was not usually one to initiate physical contact, and you had always tried to respect his boundaries.
“Tech?” you asked uncertainly.
“I have observed that you often seem to find comfort in Wrecker and Omega's hugs when you are upset. As Wrecker and Omega are not currently present, I would like to offer my own.”
“Are you sure?” you inquired, dumbfounded. “Aren't you busy with the repairs from Omega’s last flight lesson?”
“It can wait,” he replied. “Unless you would prefer not—”
His sentence cut off abruptly as you crashed into him, burying your face against his chest and wrapping your arms around his waist. His arms closed around your shoulders, and he held your head in one hand. You slumped against him, turning your head so you could breathe.
“Thank you,” you murmured.
“You are welcome,” he replied, the rumble of his voice vibrating against your ear as you rested your cheek against his chest. “I do not wish you to feel as though you must face all your struggles alone. Even the tiny ones.”
Just then, your comlink chimed with the dreaded holocomm.
“Do you wish to answer that?” he asked.
“Not really,” you admitted, “but I probably should.”
“May I propose an alternative course of action?”
“Propose away,” you replied.
“Remain with me, like this, and forget the holocomm,” he replied.
“You know what?” you asked. “That's an exceptional proposition. I accept.”
---
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One thing I’ve grown to appreciate about the “Red Dead Redemption” series now that I’m older is that you can tell Rockstar approached this project as an anti-western. It lures you in with the promise of Wild West, yeehaw goodness, but when you actually play the games, you get hit with the brutal reality of this world.
Examples of what I mean:
1) The Mexican Revolution arc isn’t romanticized. At first, you think it’s a simple tale of the evil fascist government fighting against the heroic rebellion. But then you meet the rebel leader and he turns out to be just as bad as the government. It’s a true “both sides are in the wrong” situation and, unfortunately, the ones who truly suffer are the peasants (such as Luisa Fortuna).
2) Frontier life isn’t just shooting and action. It was also watching over animals, building farms and ranches, and trading with towns. The games really make you feel the monotony of doing chores and yard work, especially when John was in his Jim Milton phase.
3) Outlaw life isn’t romanticized either. Although you start off as a happy family, it eventually devolved into backstabbing, despair, and self-destruction. Even before then, your group aren’t the greatest of people, especially with the whole robbing people at gunpoint and shooting up towns.
4) Good guys don’t always get a happy ending. Also, every action has a consequence. John Marston had to learn that the hard way.
5) The racism. I feel like a lot of Western-themed media tries to skirt around this issue, or even avoid the topic (such as the 2016 remake of Magnificent Seven, which had a diverse group of fighters). Red Dead doesn’t pull back its punches. You have the Ivy League professor who treated Native Americans as subjects for his racist research. Abraham Reyes straight up calls Chinese people an inferior race. Then there’s the Blackwater short film playfully talking about the massacre of Native American tribes.
6) Along the same lines as point 5, the sexism. For example, there was the propaganda short film about opposing the women’s suffrage movement. And, of course, Sadie Adler not wanting to be relegated to cooking for the group since she can shoot.
7) This is more for RDR2. You actually have to pay attention to the maintenance of the horses and the guns. I’ve never seen this in a Wild West movie/TV show, and yet it’s integral to someone whose life revolves around horseback riding and shooting people!
8) Not skirting around the issue of disease, especially when healthcare wasn’t as advanced as it is nowadays. You can see that especially with Arthur and Abigail.
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lemonandlime22 · 4 months
Text
Randomly generated incorrect quotes pt 41 Obey me! (a couple were changed) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
out grocery shopping Raphael: takes a free sample twice Raphael: Robbery and Fraud. I am a Rebel.
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Thirteen: *coughs blood* Mc: Don't die, Thirteen! Thirteen: Don't tell me what to do!
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Solomon, proudly: I slept. Simeon: Is that so much of a rare thing that you have to say it?
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Satan: I’ve never smoked marijuana. I ate a brownie once at a party. It was intense. It was kind of indescribable. I felt like I was floating. Turns out there was no pot in the brownie. It was just an insanely good brownie.
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Mammon, about to leave the house: Don’t spend all day watching YouTube, okay? Little Levi: I FORGE MY OWN PATH!!
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Mephisto: Shouldn't get stressed out, it's not good for the baby. Thirteen: What baby? Mephisto, crying a bit: Me.
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Mc: Tommorrow's garbage day. Solomon: I can't believe they made a whole day dedicated to you.
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milla-frenchy · 2 months
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Thunder (SMBU part 4)
2k9 | Joel Miller x fem reader x Tess Servopoulos Chapt summary: you’re threatened and rebel against Joel Warnings: 18+ mdni. Noncon/dubcon (captivity, threats), dark FF, threesome (FFM), oral (m/f), fisting, degradation, spanking, spitting, slapping, squirting, light rimming, piv, facials, angst, mentions of dvp, anal and gangbang Writer chose not to use all warnings. If you need to know before you read, DM me a/n: reader's girlfriend is described as “she/her” in italics Heed the warnings. If any of this makes you uncomfortable, do not pursue reading. This fic isn't for everyone, and that's ok. I don't condone any of this. Thank you @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog for beta-ing and listening to me whine 😄💕🫶 The Prodigy - Thunder | playlist | ao3 | series masterlist
Main masterlist - Part 3
****************
You woke up in the middle of the night, hearing moans. Thinking Joel, Tommy or one of the guards was with her. You went to the bathroom to get a glass of water but froze when you heard a moan you didn't recognize. Feminine. Your throat tightened. No other women from the camp had come to your house since you arrived. You moved closer to the half-open bedroom door. The light of the moon allowed you to discern their bodies. Her face was between a woman’s thighs and this woman was holding her head against her pussy. Her back was arched with pleasure. 
Before you had time to figure out what to do, a hand covered your mouth to stop you from screaming in surprise. Joel. You didn't even hear him come up the stairs. He nodded towards your bedroom and closed the door behind you two once you entered. Your heart was beating way too fast, because of…jealousy? Fuck.
“Who is she?” you managed to ask, trying to keep your feelings to yourself.
“Her name’s Tess. She’s not so much into dicks. She loves cunts. And she loves your girlfriend’s cunt,” he added, “sorry baby, you should get used to it. She’ll fuck you too.”
You tried to remain impassive again. Even if he gave you too much information. Much more than you wanted to hear and could handle.
“I’ve never seen her before.”
“She runs another camp for me. She's like Tommy, let's say. And she loves pussy as much as he does”, he smirked.
You felt a spike sink into your heart.
“Looks like someone’s jealous” he chuckled, before saying “come suck my dick, it’ll change your mind.”
You knelt down and took his cock in your mouth, trying to forget. But even when he shot his cum all over your face, you couldn't think of anything else.
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The next day, you tried to behave as usual with her. It wasn’t a normal world, nor a normal life. You were just bodies available to raiders. You had just never imagined that women could be raiders, too. 
So when she placed her hand on yours in the kitchen, you tried not to tense up. Not to remove yours. You knew that you were unfair in your feelings, but you had the impression that the only thing that brought sweetness in your life no longer belonged to you.
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A guard came to take you to the fuckhouse, as you called it now. You didn't expect to see Joel and Tess there.
“Take off your clothes,” he ordered. You didn't move, your eyes fixed on Tess.
“The fuck are you waiting for?  Get undressed.”
“I can’t…I can’t fuck her.”
And for the first time, she spoke to you, but you wished she hadn't when you heard her response.
“Don’t worry, I’ll be in charge. I'm gonna fuck you, you'll just have to take it. See if you’re worth it.”
They both were looking at you like you were a piece of meat, and you resigned yourself to undress.
“Come on baby. A mouth is a mouth, right?” he said. At that moment, you hated him.
You lay down on your back and she came to settle between your thighs. Your body and mind were closed, and you were mechanically waiting for her to do what she wanted. Joel was leaning against the window sill. That guy had immense self control. You thought about it every time he watched you being fucked by his men, usually coming last to rail you and mix his cum with the spend of those who’d used you before him.
Tess’s tongue along your folds made you forget about Joel. You didn't want to cum. You didn't want to give her that part of you. But her tongue was soft and precise, she knew exactly where to slide, where to linger. When she added a finger and started sucking your clit, you almost forgot your convictions. Two fingers slid into your now sopping pussy, fucking you gently. She had already found the right spot and you were struggling to hold back your moans. Her tongue swirled delicately on your clit, sometimes giving way to her lips which came to suck it. Within minutes, you were drooling on the bed. When she added a third finger, you muttered a “fuck…” and heard Joel chuckle. You were so focused on your sensations that you didn't even react to him, finally accepting the pleasure your body felt building. Your lower abdomen was hotter than ever.
“Make that slut squirt,” Joel said. You heard her laugh against your pussy. A laugh that meant “of course she’s going to squirt.” She showed such confidence. You saw her as a female version of Joel, and you might have feared her almost more than him.
She had barely started licking your clit again when you felt like you were losing all control over your body, and you squirted for the first time in your life, feeling like you were drowning the mattress. Your cheeks were hot, ashamed of having given her more than anyone else.
Tess didn't stop her movements and pushed a fourth finger into your pussy.
“Wait, what…what are you doing?”
“Oh, you’re gonna give me more than that, baby.”
You saw Joel take off his clothes and position himself behind her, spanking her to make her put her ass up.
When he was sliding his cock into her pussy, he didn't take his eyes off you. She raised her face for a few seconds and stopped licking your clit, getting used to Joel's cock. You saw her face, her eyes closed in pleasure. Joel’s gaze was still fixed on you. It was the first time you saw him from that angle, buried in a pussy. His broad shoulders, his biceps, all his muscles tightened. 
Instantly, she followed the same rhythm with her fingers in your pussy as his dick in hers. ​
“I thought you weren’t into dicks?” you dared to ask. Joel froze inside her to let her respond, hands on her hips. You knew he was buried deep inside her. You knew he loved that, these moments where he displayed his dominance by being buried in a cunt, the woman full of his cock. 
She smiled when he stopped, fully aware of what he was doing, too.
“Not so much. But sometimes I like to get fucked, and well…he’s the boss, right? By the way, your roommate has a really nice pussy. And she knows how to eat one, too.”
She fucking winked at you just before Joel started fucking her again, slowly. He kept looking at you, and you hated the smug look on their faces, the way they didn't care about you or your feelings.
When she rested her lips against your clit, her moans made you vibrate and a second orgasm swept through you, without you feeling it coming. You felt physically exhausted. Emptied. But she still didn't stop, and Joel fucked her gently so as not to hinder her movements. You felt spread apart like never before, and she pushed four of her fingers deeper. You couldn't believe it when you squirted again. 
“Fuck, did you see that, Joel?” she chuckled. “The bitch is wrecked.”
She spat on your pussy even though the sounds of her four digits sliding inside you left no doubt that you were wet. Soaked. And she added her thumb to the other fingers, squeezing them together as closely as possible, to let you get used to it. Then moving deeper.
“What are you doing? Stop it, please, you’re gonna hurt me. Please…”
But she didn't stop, and even added “told you, you’re gonna take it.”
You realized finally what she was talking about. And you thought that you could never take her whole hand.
“Don’t worry, you’ll take it”, Joel said. “We fucked your cunt with two dicks, multiple times. If you had been a whore, you’d have earned a lot of money with that pussy, baby.” He was reveling in the situation, you could see it in his eyes.
She spat again, twice. On your pussy and on her hand. Continuing to push. You felt your folds spread apart painfully, until the knuckle of her outstretched hand bumped against your pussy. She leaned down, sucking on your clit, then swirling the tip of her tongue over it. While continuing to lightly push her hand in you.
“Give her another one, baby. Come on her hand. Be a good girl, give it to her. And give it to me. Come on, baby.”
His praise was turning you on. You thought about all those times they fucked you with two cocks. Joel and Tommy's dicks opening you up, and your pussy accepting them. You came again, your moans almost becoming screams. And she pushed more, making your pussy give way. You felt torn apart. She didn't stop until her hand was down to her wrist. “Oh fuck, fuck!” you shouted. 
You felt full. Fuller than with two cocks in your pussy. And you hoped none of the men would think about fisting you, because her slender hand was already spreading you apart more than you thought was possible.
Although you were getting used to it and the sensation was now giving you way too much pleasure for your liking.
You started to moan again, and her hand began sliding in more easily. 
“Shit that’s hot”, growled Joel. “I’m gonna fuck her now. Not sure I’ll feel something though”. Your cheeks heated at his degrading words.
She withdrew her hand gently and brought it back to Joel's mouth while he was still buried inside her. He licked her fingers as he was looking at you.
“Get on all fours”, he told you.
You got on your hands and knees and she laid down in front of you, her pussy level with your face. Joel spanked you, sensing your reluctance. “Better make her come,” he said, menacingly. He pressed down on your head to put your face against her pussy. You submitted, ass in the air. He spread your ass cheeks with his hands and licked you, from your pussy to your ass. When he took his cock in his hand to thrust into you, hands clinging to your hips, your tongue was buried in her pussy. Her hands held your face against her.
“Fuck, should have told Tommy to join us to feel something. Seems like the whole camp banged you.” You held back your tears when you heard him. Thinking about what your life had become since he’d captured you. Even though you knew it could have been worse. It can always be worse, right? But that time, his words hit you right in the heart. He wanted to hurt you, and you didn't know why. Was he jealous of your relationship with her?
He pulled out, and tugged on your legs so you lay down. He placed all his weight on you, crashing you under his weight without mercy, leaving only his legs on the bed against your tightened thighs. He pressed your face against her pussy again, growling in your ear as he thrusted.
“Spread wider”, he told Tess. And he stuck his fingers in her pussy while you licked her clit. She moaned, louder and louder.
“Come for us, baby”, he told her. He spoke in a softer tone when he addressed her. And once again your heart was pricked. He was trying to hurt you.
When she came, she held your face against her, and her pussy jerked against Joel's fingers.
“On your knees, both of you. Open up, tongues out.”
You knelt as he physically dominated both of you, jerking his cock with his hand until he came all over your tongues.
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You came home, and when you entered her bedroom, her things were gone. You ran down the stairs wanting to go back to the fuckhouse, but Joel was already coming.
“Inside”, he ordered you, grabbing your elbow.
“Where is she?”
“She’s moving to Tess’s camp. Tonight.” 
You couldn't believe it. You couldn't believe he was acting like this, when he had always been, if not affectionate, at least never cruel.
“Why are you doing this? You think it’s easy for us here? Or you don’t even care for a fucking second?”
“Tess needs a new toy. I don't think your girlfriend is upset about going there, anyway.”
And you felt something switch inside you. You couldn't let him and Tess take her away from you. You couldn't imagine living here anymore, without her. Without her arms and lips to warm your body and soul at night. A cold anger gripped you, and you let it possess your entire mind.
“If it’s her wish to leave with Tess, fine. But if you force her...I swear to God I’ll turn this place to ashes and when you come to this house, you’ll find me dead in her bed. As a reminder that you lost everything because of your actions."
You saw his face tighten in surprise, and his breath stopped for a moment.
“You’re just a bitch. And you know where those who misbehave end up.”
“I don’t think so.”
“Oh really?”
“Yeah, really. ‘Cos you love my cunt too much to put me in the shithouse. There aren't many women here. In this house, it’ll be just me, if you make her leave. I saw two women the day I arrived. There are two women in the shithouse. So five women. Maybe a couple more that had kids and I don’t know them. What are you gonna do when you have only three women? two women? zero? Fuck your guards? Oh yeah, well… a mouth is a mouth right? So are holes.”
He slapped you. Stronger than he had ever done the other times, where it was more like a dominance sex game than anything else. You brought your hand to your hot cheek, and you couldn't help but smirk.
“Finally”, you said. “Finally, Joel the cold-blooded raider, is losing his cool.”
A second slap hit you, even harder than the first one, proving you were right. He called one of his guards through the window to watch over you, and left.
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She didn't leave the camp. That evening, she returned to your house. You saw her coming back, when you were in the warehouse where he had locked you. 
You knew your rebellion would have consequences. You didn't wait long to find out which one exactly. When a machete hit the wooden table, you were relieved that Joel only cut your little finger off.
After cauterizing your wound, he left you there until the next day. 
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When he picked you up and brought you to the fuckhouse, your throat tightened. Your little finger wouldn’t be the only punishment. She was there, sitting on a chair. A guard had a gun pointed at her head, and several of his men were there.
“Fuck her”, Joel told his men pointing at you. “You don’t have to make her cum. If she does, good for her, but it’s not your problem today. Don't fuck her ass. I want at least one hole still tight for me tonight.”
He turned to you “If you misbehave, you'll regret not having let her go with Tess.” He nodded to the armed guard.
Finally, he told her “enjoy watching her getting fucked hard. This is the consequence of what she did for you.”
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When you got home, the sun had set. You went to lie down on your bed and she held you close, healing your wounds as she held you against her. More psychological than physical. Even though they were usually the worst.
“I’m so sorry”, she said. 
“Don’t. I regret nothing.”
She kissed your forehead and said “thank you. For everything.” She paused before adding “my name is Victoria. I've never told my real name to anyone here. I didn't want them to have that part of me. I don’t care if they know it now. You’re the first one to know, it’s all that matters. You can call me Vic.”
“Vic” you repeated. “You’re mine, Vic. And I’m yours”, you told her, caressing her cheek with your bandaged hand and smiling gently at her. You kissed, and you already knew that your heart was healing.
She held you against her for a few minutes, before saying “Joel is gonna come tonight.”
“I know. I will be ok.”
You knew it deep down. Joel knew that you’d be obedient again. You just wanted him not to take her away from you. He could have punished you much harsher, but you were apparently right in your reasoning. Women were a rare resource, as Tommy had told you the first day. Joel needed his soldiers to be calm and trustable. As long as they would have enough food and cunts to fuck, everything would be fine.
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When he entered your bedroom, he gestured for her to go to hers.
As he unzipped his jeans and approached the bed, he warned you, “If you do something like that again, not even your pussy will save you.”
You nodded.
He made sure to make you cum, before and while fucking your ass.
****
“I love her and that’s the beginning and end of everything” F. Scott Fitzgerald
****
Part 5
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Thank you for reading 🙏
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targaryenluvs · 4 months
Note
ok hear me out w this dark!finnick idea; post-74th everlark, snow’s trying to do damage control and tells finnick to date another victor, and finnick’s hesitance to date his former mentee— means ofc she’s picked :( it’s not like finnick would ever put on a show to get her purposefully picked, he’s totally a good mentor and he’s defiantly never thought of ruining her, but, might as well make the most of it
alternatively omg image finnick living through the rebel’s victory— but the aftermath of the takeover meant a lot of the ppl involved in the games (no matter how small apart they played) get to executed,, including the little capitol girl who was (barely) part of his team n helped him get ready (or mb his district escort, or just like a stylist idk). helpful, helpful finnick steps up n tells her he can totally help her but it’s going to involve her losing her capital ties n taking up his name (plus they really have to sell it, so good knows how far they’d have to go, but he’s always so willing n helpful)
these aren’t requests or anything, i haven’t slept in 30 hours and I watched like my nth finnick edit whilst procrastinating prepping for my applied physics final
first of all i know i always sleep at wild times but THIRTY HOURS?? BABY GO TO SLEEP!!!
second of all, i wish you the best on your physics final ❤️
third of all your mind works wonders!!
can you imagine him seeing her again for the first time after she’s picked?? imagine nervous finnick for the first time 😭
-
“just our luck huh? two idiots make fools of the capitol and we end up on damage control!” your voice was as always sweet and pretty. finnick wanted to bottle it up all for himself.
“who would’ve thought?” finnick smiled, the charm may have been turned on but god was he a mess inside.
“you look good finn, grown. how’ve you been?”
i’ve been patiently waiting for the next time i see you. he wondered if that would scare you off so he smiled instead, “waiting for my lovely mentor to show and she’s here now so great.” you giggled as your touched his bicep, and his pants felt tighter, god you were adorable. you may be older than him but he has grown, and now he towers over you, dwarfs you in comparison and he adores it.
“you look stunning per usual.” you grinned and took your dress in, a gorgeous baby blue dress, with tiny straps on each side and a slit on the right side. your neck looked oddly markable to finnick but he’d refrain for now. “and you look handsome, when’d that happen?” you teased him before pinching his cheek.
you still thought of him as the same little boy from four. he could tell, but he wasn’t a boy anymore and he’d show you that.
“who knows. now, we have people to see.” he linked his arm with yours as the two of you made your way from the foyer and into the den of the capitol, hungry eyes and touchy hands pounced at the opportunity to feel the capitols darling and diamond.
he would snap every hand if he could, you were his, even if you didn’t know it yet.
-
“yes. i’ll do it, i don’t want to- no i can’t die.” you were crying now and finnick felt bad, but you’d just agreed to marry him so he couldn’t care less.
“no tears honey, you get to live.” his voice was sweet and comforting, looking up at him you felt happy. you watched him grow up, you helped him through it and now he was helping you, you couldn’t help but feel grateful.
“thank you finnick really, you don’t have to do this.” he shook his head and wiped away your tears, “you’ve been by my side for so long it’s the least i could do y/n.” your teary eyes should’ve made him feel bad but the idea of your marriage had his own heart racing. and as you hugged him he felt his worries melt away.
you were locked in for life.
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avoxrising · 5 months
Text
The Feral One • Ch 24
Finnick x Y/N
Series Masterlist Link
The moment y’all have been waiting for…
Content Warnings - Very descriptive gore, death, injury, lizard mutts
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Your body is full of aches and chills as you trudge your way through the capital sewers. You definitely have a fever but there’s not much the squad can do at this point. They’re determined to get to Snow’s mansion.
Luckily, one of the cameramen knows the underground routes of the capital so the group isn’t at risk of getting lost. Every inch of you protests as you walk deeper underground but with no way to contact the rebels, you’re stuck with your squad for the time being.
The group finally decides to take a break and enters a small room that’s out of the water. You slouch down in the corner away from everyone else. Finnick comes to sit near you but you growl at him.
“Get away from me!” you snap, causing the group to look at you. Finnick sits near you anyways but doesn’t make any move to touch you.
“Are you feeling any better?” he asks. You shake your head no and the movement sends pain up your neck.
“My neck,” you groan. Finnick makes you tilt your head up so he can look.
“It’s spreading,” he sighs. He calls Jackson over to your corner.
“Is there anyway we can get her to medical?” he asks the woman. “It’s up to her neck now.”
“I’m sorry but communications are still down,” she shakes her head.
“I’m getting Katniss,” Finnick tells you. You want to protest but your eyes are really heavy as sleep tugs at you.
“She says it started with the headache,” he tells Katniss as she crouches down to look at the veins on your neck. “It was just on her arm but it’s been spreading. It’s not from a pod.”
“If it was something in the bloodstream it would be spreading faster,” she observes. “I’m thinking whatever it is, it’s not a poison from an external source. I’ve never seen this before.”
“Get away from me!” you sleepily snap at her. She moves and you quickly fall into a fitful sleep.
Tick Tock
Tick Tock
Katnissss
Tick! Tock!
Tick! Tock!
Katnisssssss
You jolt awake to Finnick shaking your shoulder.
“Mutts,” he tells you. “We have to move now!”
Suddenly full of adrenaline, you bolt through the murky depths of the sewers as the hissing gets louder. The veins seem to be spreading faster now, crawling their way up your neck to your jaw. Your squad mates panic at the sight of you but they all have bigger things to worry about right now.
You find yourself crawling through a small hole in the wall behind Finnick. You both stare as Jackson goes to enter the hole but she’s suddenly attacked by the mutts. At the sight of them, the black veins pulse upwards and start to rapidly spread.
“Come on!” Finnick yells at you. He doesn’t want to touch you but he will if it means pulling you to safety.
The two of you quickly catch up to the rest of the group. Katniss and Gale shoot arrows at the mutts, taking them down in clumps. Finnick makes you stay behind him as he spears the monsters with his trident. He had tried to give you a weapon but you refused it as your hands were in too much pain from the substance spreading inside of you.
The group progresses forward but the mutts don’t stop coming. Finally, someone sees a way out. Pollux motions for the group to climb a ladder but your vision is getting hazy and the sound of a clock pounding in your head blocks out everything around you.
Finnick watches in horror as your bright eyes fill with an inky black substance. You let out a low growl before lunging at one of the mutts and ripping its head off with your bare hands.
You quickly make work of the mutts in the room, ripping off limbs and gouging out eyes. Your squad continues to climb the ladder, leaving only you, Finnick, and Gale left at the bottom. You can’t see them though, you can only focus on your deep primal instinct to kill anything that comes at you.
One of the mutts catches you off guard, hitting you in the head. You cough up blackened blood before sinking your fingers into the creature and ripping out its tongue. It’s teeth graze your hand but you can’t feel anything but the urge to kill.
Finnick has to stop Gale from trying to pull you up the ladder.
“Don’t touch her!” Finnick warns. “She’ll kill you. She can’t recognize any of us.”
Gale quickly backs off and proceeds up the ladder. Finnick, though, had a predicament. How was he supposed to get you out of there without touching you? At this point even him being near you may set you off. He can’t just leave you here.
“Katniss!” he calls up, still fighting off mutts with his trident. “Sedative on an arrow. Now!”
Katniss understands exactly what Finnick wants her to do. She dips the tip of an arrow in sedative and shoots it into your shoulder. Not fatal, but hopefully it would knock you out.
The arrow to your shoulder further fueled your rage. You turn towards the ladder and grin, black foam spilling from your lips like a rabid animal. You go to make a leap towards your assailant when a mutt jumps onto your back, dragging you into the water.
The group watching can’t tell who’s blood is in the water, but there’s a lot of it. Scale covered flesh floats to the surface along with black blood. Finnick wants to help but he can’t see where the mutt is and he doesn’t want to stab you.
What feels like an eternity later, you emerge from the water, holding the spinal cord of the lizard mutt, the rest of its body in pieces around you. The remaining mutts recoil at the sight and slowly back away, fearing your presence.
You let out a deep growl, blood spilling from your mouth as the sound reverberates off the walls. At this, the mutts slither back down the tunnels, leaving you and Finnick alone.
As the adrenaline leaves your body, you begin to feel the excruciating pain of your wounds. Finnick is calling your name but everything is fuzzy. The inky substance flows from your eyes and ears as the soft tick of a clock pulls you under.
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Ok but the urge to kill Gale was real lol
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vampmorgue · 11 months
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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐖𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐌𝐚𝐧
𝐃𝐚𝐫𝐤!𝐑𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 & 𝐉𝐉 𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐤 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
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📖 𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐲 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐑𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐝𝐢𝐝𝐧'𝐭, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐡𝐢𝐦 𝐰𝐚𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐲 𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐭 𝐝𝐞𝐜𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬.
⚠️ 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐒: 18+, she/her pronouns, pogue! reader, routeledge! reader, jj is readers ex boyfriend, some backstory, some fluff but lots of angst, dark themes, toxic relationship, trauma bond, love bombing, language, dark!rafe and him being toxic, mentions of drug use, addiction, abusive behavior, choking, smoking, weapon: gun use, violence, blood, fighting, and jj being protective of reader.
📑 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 5.1k
🦇 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄: if you or someone you know are in a similar situation, please don’t hesitate and ask for help. my dm’s are open if anyone needs to talk. ♡︎
©𝐕𝐀𝐌𝐏𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐆𝐔𝐄 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐄𝐑𝐕𝐄𝐃: 𝐃𝐨 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐠𝐢𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐳𝐞, 𝐦𝐨𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐲, 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐦𝐲 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐤 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐚𝐩𝐩/𝐰𝐞𝐛𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞.
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You definitely had a type. JJ was your ex-boyfriend, and he was impulsive and would get into trouble but stayed caring, protective, and loving at the end of the day. He made you the happiest when he could. You two dated for a year after knowing each other for years growing up but broke it off due to the right person, wrong timing type of thing. You wanted JJ to focus on himself as he was losing himself for a while, and you were growing distant from each other but remained friends.
As your older brother, John B. got more involved with Sarah Cameron and brought her into the group, you soon heard about her older brother, Rafe, and the stories about him, and trouble always seemed to attract you.
From the day you saw Rafe Cameron, you were intrigued by his presence, but not as much as he was with yours.
You were a Pogue, something Rafe hated, but whenever Sarah brought you over, he didn't mind it as much, almost like it never mattered in the first place. You would notice the way Rafe would be eyeing you up and down, but not notice that he would be finding excuses to talk to Sarah just to see you in the same room, and then later at night, his mind would be going crazy over you.
When you first revealed your interest in Rafe to Kie, she scolded you like you had done something bad and told Sarah; Sarah didn’t mind it but did warn you that her older brother was not the best guy to be going after. When JJ found out about it, he was shocked and unhappy that you found interest in a Kook and was more unhappy you chose Rafe Cameron out of all people. JJ made it clear to you that he moved on from the break up to not come across as jealous or anything else and said you could do better than Rafe Cameron, along with everyone else agreeing.
"Look, I just think you should keep your options open, that's all." JJ comments, hoping your brother could at least convince you as well.
With your dad being gone, John B had stepped in to protect you as your older brother, and he hated the idea of you liking Rafe.
“Don’t you dare go to that Kook party where he is!” John B chases you out the front porch as you giggle, “Sarah! Back me up on this!”
“I’ve tried, John B!” Sarah scared to intervene, "The least we could do is watch over her at the party plus, we can have a little fun?"
"Fine," John B sighs at the idea, running his hands across his face.
You weren’t someone who liked listening to others about what they had to say, especially in your life. So as a result of that, during the party at Tannyhill, after a couple of shots, you went after Rafe, which caught him by surprise, but he liked it anyway.
“Y'know, I had my eye on you for a while,” Rafe smirks, drinking from his solo cup.
John B. saw the whole thing, which angered him, but at that point gave up. “I feel like I’m raising a rebellious teenager,"
“I think you’d be considered one as well, from the things you get involved in.” Sarah jokes.
From that day forward, Rafe had you wrapped around his finger. The more you started getting involved with him, the more your friends weren't liking it and made it known.
“Oh, god, you want to be like your brother and date a Kook now?” Pope asks, with JJ and Kie waiting for your response. "I mean, seriously, what is it with you Routledges' and Kooks these days.”
“You guys like Sarah now,” you mention, “so maybe you’ll like Rafe too.”
“Ha!” JJ scoffs, shaking his head.
“I doubt that Y/N but you do you.” Kie shrugs.
“Yeah, I will,
And you kept your word, but little did they know, Rafe had also persuaded you so you could be together.
"Listen, you and I were meant to cross paths," Rafe tells you in an optimistic tone, "so let them talk,"
Three months into your relationship with Rafe, he was the sweetest boyfriend, at first. From the dates to spoiling you, him making you feel like his whole world, and making it clear to everyone that you were his. The Pogues accepted your happiness but didn’t accept Rafe; they couldn't do it when they saw how he would treat other people. He was the complete opposite of his sister, Sarah.
Now six months into the relationship, you were aware of his addiction and had mentioned your concern about it to him before, but you didn’t want to be that kind of controlling girlfriend or anything. You also didn’t want to let your friends and brother know about it because you knew they would try to get you out of the relationship with him but you didn’t want that because you cared about Rafe. You let Rafe live his life and for a while, he got better after realizing how much he was scaring you, and the sight of coke making you uncomfortable. He would smoke weed instead, which you were completely fine with since you did the same.
But then Rafe would relapse as coke was more of his thing.
Your boyfriend soon revealed another side of himself on nights when you were with him, a darkening aura surrounding him as his eyes grew more hostile. You knew he was high by the size of his pupils, and how he was getting stressed out about the things going on in his life, especially with the pressure his father was putting on him. There would be times when he took out his anger on you by shouting at you or just snapping out of nowhere by throwing things around or punching walls. Every second of those bad nights was like torture so being with him started to drain you physically and mentally as time went on, you were now in his control of what you could wear, say, or do in front of him. Every morning, you’d wake up to an anxious feeling in your stomach because of Rafe, which could’ve been your sign to leave him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to do so. It was moments like this, that made you rethink your life decisions if you had never broken up with JJ, would you be in this position? Were you longing for JJ or the right treatment that you weren't getting from Rafe? Unfortunately, you grew too attached to Rafe just like he was to you. You felt dependent on him, and you grew a fear of not being able to do anything without him or his approval but maybe one day the bond would break, right?
Every time you and Rafe argued, no one was around because Rafe wanted your relationship to look perfect to others, though it was the complete opposite, he always told you to put on a happy face.
You barely saw your friends anymore because of him not trusting them but Rafe barely trusted anyone, especially Pogues.
The Pogues were missing your company, so whenever your brother mentioned them coming over, you’d ask him if he could drive you over to Rafe’s or you would text Rafe to come get you because that’s how much afraid you were of your boyfriend; you were scared of him finding out somehow that you were in the presence of your ex JJ, though you weren’t doing anything wrong or planned on it. Whenever they’d ask about you, John B’s answer was always "Rafe", so they stopped asking but JJ thought that it was weird how the only time you were home was when everyone, except your brother, was gone, and if they slept over then you’d spend the night with Rafe— which he never said no to.
Even though your friends didn’t know the full story yet, they knew something was wrong when you were Rafe’s date to midsummers— you were the youngest in the group, so they all felt protective towards you, especially JJ. Though you looked beautiful, you didn’t look happy to be there, especially next to Rafe. They had tried to talk to you, but Rafe had his arm wrapped around your waist the whole night basically and kept giving death glares to your Pogue friends. When you made eye contact with JJ, he could tell in your eyes you had this sense of hope; he didn't know what it was but he tried to approach you because he knew in his gut something wasn’t right and said if Rafe started something then he'd finish it, but Kie convinced him to not cause a scene, and JJ was mad at John B for not looking out enough for you, his little sister.
“JJ! I’m not gonna go to fucking jail if something happened because if I did, then who's going to be looking after her, huh?!” John B argues.
“I would!” JJ responds.
“Man, why’d you guys even break up in the first place?!” your brother emphasizes, “I preferred her with you! Shit, I wouldn’t even have to be in this position!”
JJ stayed silent wondering the same thing as he hated remembering the fact that he lost you. As much as JJ didn't want to admit to himself, he still had feelings for you, and seeing you with Rafe was only making it worse.
John B just didn’t want trouble, especially at a Kooks' party knowing their power but he also didn't want you to be mad at him or give the silent treatment if a fight broke out; he also didn't want to risk losing you completely away from home more than you already were. Sarah tried to see if something was up, and you were always reassuring her that everything was fine, but it was all a lie, “See, Sarah, she’s fine.” Rafe would go on to say but that was before he took you into a room just to yell at you for causing attention like it was your fault, though it wasn't.
The day after midsummers, John B had finally confronted you about being so distant ever since you got with Rafe.
"You just don't hang out with us anymore or never make the time for it!" your brother emphasizes.
"I'm sorry! I just..." you hesitate, "really love him and love being around him. He makes me happy...ever since Dad's been gone-"
"Don't you dare bring Dad into this!" John B. hollers.
"Well, who else is going to love me now?!" you cry out, storming out of the house to see Rafe.
John B's eyes filled with loss as he was watching you slowly lose yourself.
Now tonight, Rafe had called you sounding like he wasn't in a good mood, he wanted to take you out after yelling at you the day before, so you accepted it, hoping he was changing for the better. He told you he needed to make a quick stop on the way, and that stop was to meet with Barry. You were annoyed with him and felt betrayed in a way when he fully knew you never wanted to be around his drug deals let alone being around Barry since he made you uncomfortable. Rafe didn’t listen and expected you to brush it off, but you didn’t.
“Rafe, you know I’m not comfortable with you being fucking coked out around me, or you buying from Barry in front of me," you tell him.
“Can you stop fucking nagging for once?” Rafe sighs, driving away from Barry’s.
“You know what? Just me drop off here,” you point to the side of the road, “I’m growing so tired of you.”
“Oh, you’re growing tired of me?” he scoffs, slamming hard on the breaks, “How do you think I feel with you haunting my every move?!”
“Me? You’re fucking unbelievable! You’re the one who controls every fucking thing I do! I barely see my friends because of you!” you snap, getting out of the car but Rafe quickly comes out to your side and forcefully puts his hand around your throat.
“That’s the last time you’ll ever raise your voice at me again.” he sternly states, “Now get in the fucking car.”
Rafe lets go as you gasp for air and start coughing. You get in the car knowing you couldn’t be walking alone in the dark not even knowing your way around, especially around Barry’s area. You were frozen and silent almost the entire car ride, trying to process what happened. You thought maybe if you jumped out of the car, you could run away and scream, you needed to get away, so you took your chances.
“No!” Rafe grabs your wrist while nearly swerving into an oncoming car, “Are you fucking insane?!”
He puts on the child lock before driving back to Tannyhill as if nothing happened. You felt helpless as you slowly walked behind him with his tall figure that now seemed like a monster in front of you as he led the way to his room.
“Y/N…you know that I love you, right?" Rafe asks calmly, closing the door but you stay silent.
“Come on, baby,” he says, pulling you into a hug, “I’m just trying to protect you.”
“Protect me? … Protect me from what?!” you spat, pushing him off of you, “You’re not doing that, all you’re doing is hurting me!”
“After everything I’ve done and given you so you wouldn’t live that Pogue lifestyle anymore, you dare to act like this? Tsk, tsk.” he shakes his head as it gets silent again.
“You really wanna know why I don’t let you see your Pogue friends?” Rafe chuckles in an unsettling tone, breaking the silence, “Because I know you used to date that blond Pogue…so how can I trust you around him, hm?”
You don’t say anything, instead, you stare down at the floor not wanting to look him in the eyes.
“That’s what I thought,” he nods seeming proud.
“It’s not something new,” you look up at him, “You fully knew that before you and I even got together, and you’re acting like I’m not a Pogue myself…but if you ever lay on hand on me again–”
Rafe gets in your face, “Or what?”
You push him out of your way to the bathroom. You’re on the verge of tears when you look in the mirror and see the bruises on your neck, he caused from choking you. You didn’t know what to do, whether to scream your lungs out due to your frustration or see if Sarah was home but you didn’t want to cause a scene; fear is what you felt.
Now you were at your breaking point and needed to leave, needed to leave him. You saw Rafe doing lines and he looks up at you, “If you don’t wanna see this then go hang out with Sarah or something, I don’t fucking know.”
“You’re right, I don’t wanna see this or you, I’m done.” you reply, leaving his room, “I’m done with you.”
“The fuck is what supposed to mean?” Rafe follows you downstairs.
“It means this fucking relationship is over, we’re over!” you shout in frustration.
As you made it outside, you heard Rafe scream and break something that he threw. At this point, you didn’t care you were walking outside alone, you knew your way around from Rafe’s home, and you just needed to get home away from him, hoping he wouldn’t follow.
You were glad to make it home and see the sight of your brother and Sarah asleep in the living room with a movie playing on the TV. You made your way to your room and cried yourself to sleep.
It was like a parallel between you and Sarah. You were a Pogue dating a Kook and Sarah was a Kook dating a Pogue, except now she was a Pogue. One relationship was toxic and the other healthy. Sarah is happier with John B than she was with Topper just like you were happier with JJ than you were with Rafe. 
How could Rafe do that to you? Especially to someone he said he always loved but that wasn’t love. You knew that you had no love for him left in you, instead, it was hate.
The next day, you woke up to your neck feeling sore and you remembered why as you felt sick to your stomach.
Now how were you going to hide the bruises? Makeup could help but not in the hot weather. You decided to take a shower and think in there.
A hoodie. Yes, it was hot out, but you weren’t about to throw on a turtleneck so you thought pairing the hoodie with some shorts would make it look less odd, and it would be cooler by the time the sun sets. You had to tighten the strings of the hood so it would cover your neck better, and that was the best you could do.
“What time did you get home?” John B asks, making you jump, “I didn’t hear you come in.”
You shrug, “Not too late, you were asleep when I came back.”
“I see…” he replies, “Listen, I’m sorry about last night–”
you interrupt him, “No, I’m sorry, I should’ve never stormed off like that or brought up Dad that way.”
“No, it’s okay,” he shakes his head, “I know you miss him too but we’ll be okay just like we always have.”
Some time passed, the sun was setting, and you saw Sarah out on the front porch.
“Hey, are you okay? I heard you and Rafe broke up,” Sarah asks with concern in her voice.
“Oh, you did?” John B joins in, “Finally!”
Sarah glares at him, telepathically telling him to shut up.
“Yeah, we did…” you confirm, “How’d you find that out that?”
“Well, I came home last night and saw a shattered flower vase on the floor and a hole in the wall, so I was like, what made Rafe mad this time?” she slightly chuckles.
“I guess he didn’t take it well, huh?” you assume with a small laugh.
“As far as I could tell," Sarah sighs, "I wouldn’t recommend going anywhere he might be.”
“Well, well, well, if it isn’t Miss. I’m too good for you Pogues.” Pope appears.
“You know that’s not true, Pope.” you chuckle.
“I know, I’m just teasing,” he replies.
“Y/N!" Kie comes running to you, “Where have you been, you bitch!”
“Well, damn, it’s nice to see you too.” you joke as she squeezes you in her arms.
“I’m never letting you date another Kook again.” she declares and you agree to it.
You feel overwhelmed with emotions with all that’s going on, but it feels good to see everyone and then remember one was missing.
“Hey, where’s JJ?” you ask everyone.
John B points over to the water where you see JJ sitting by smoking a joint, so you decide to go talk to him.
“Hey, Jay,”
“Oh, hey,” he looks up at you and smiles, “you want a hit of this?
“Sure,” you reply, taking the joint.
“So,” JJ begins, “How come you were barely around?”
“If I’m being honest…” you hesitate, “Rafe is a…control freak in the worst way possible.”
JJ chuckles, “He looks like it,”
“I know, I should’ve noticed earlier.” you mention, "I'm sorry though, I never meant to hurt you and everyone else."
“No, you’re all good, you made it out though.” he gives you a comforting smile.
“Yeah, I’m glad that nightmare is over.” you sigh in relief.
“Why are you wearing a hoodie?” he asks out of curiosity, “I’m only asking because that’s rare for you on a day like this.”
“Why are you?” you ask back, pointing out the one he’s wearing.
He laughs, “Alright, you got me there.”
“It’s a nice hoodie though.” you compliment him, hoping he'd let you borrow it one day and he would.
“Thanks, you should wear it sometime.” he teases, “Too soon?
“You’re funny, JJ...but I wouldn't be opposed to it." you turn the other way, hiding the redness on your face.
"I'll keep that in mind then," JJ smirks, taking another hit of his joint.
You and JJ just always had that spark that would always come back, and you both loved that.
JJ knits his eyebrows, “What’s that on your neck?”
Your heart drops to your stomach when you remember. He saw the bruises since you turned your head, and you didn’t want to lie and say it was hickeys but you also knew you couldn’t use the good old burned yourself with a curling iron excuse.
“Oh,” you nervously laugh, “that’s from wrestling with my brother the other day.”
“Really?” he doesn’t buy it, “John B barely even hugs you.”
He must’ve paid good attention or had a good memory of your life because he was right.
“Damn, you didn’t have to call me out like that,” you respond, joking since it’s a way of coping.
“Well, I’m just saying and I don’t think he would hurt you like that.” he adds, “C’mon you can tell me.”
“Rafe…”
“What do you mean?”
“…we were arguing, and he didn’t like that I raised my voice at him but I was only defending myself until I couldn’t,” you answer.
JJ felt his blood pressure rise so high, but he stayed calm to comfort you as he pulled you into his arms and tossed the joint away. You remembered the times he held you in his arms when you were sad about something so that’s exactly what he was doing.
"Does John B know?' he asks.
"No,"
“Listen, it’s not your fault, none of it is.” he reassures, “Rafe has his issues to work with but that doesn’t mean he had the right to treat you like that. You don’t deserve that; you deserve way better than that and more.”
“Thank you, JJ,” you say, still in his arms. “I appreciate that, I needed it.”
“Of course,” he affirms, “I’m also sorry. I wish I tried harder to get you out of that, I knew something was up— we all did but everyone was just stuck on what to do without any proof, you know?”
“No, I don’t want you or anyone else blaming yourself.” you reassure, “I still have you all at the end of the day, and that’s the most important to me.”
“Yeah, me too.” he mentions, "We're going to have to tell your brother as well."
"Hm, I don't like the sound of that." you say, "But I know I have to."
"I know," JJ adds, "but I'll be by your side if that makes you more comfortable?"
"I'd like that!" you exclaim, and he smiles.
You two hear the sounds of a dirt bike.
“Did one of them take your bike out for a joyride or something?” you joke.
“I didn’t bring it today…Kie drove Pope and I out here.” JJ says with a confused expression.
Your heart drops once again, remembering who else you knew who owned a dirt bike.
“Fuck, this cannot be happening,” you mutter to yourself as you both got up.
“It’s okay, just stay behind me,” JJ tells you.
You both watch Rafe make his way to your brother and the others.
“What the hell are you doing here?” Sarah calls out to him.
“Taking back what’s mine,” Rafe responds before looking around, “tell me where she is, and nothing happens.”
“Dude, get the fuck out of here.” John B warns him as he gets closer, “I don’t need any more of your bullshit right now.”
“Seriously, you’re crazy,” Sarah tells Rafe, “Just go back home.”
“Or what?” Rafe lets out a small laugh.
You were holding onto JJ’s arm, and you could tell JJ was getting angry just by Rafe's presence but unluckily, Rafe spotted you and JJ.
“Well, would you look at that!” Rafe calls out, “You see, Y/N? I knew you’d go back to that Pogue! You’re just a fucking slut!”
“Alright, fuck it,” JJ pulls out his gun from the pocket of his hoodie and points it at Rafe.
“JJ!” everyone but Rafe shouts.
Rafe had pulled his gun out as well and John B yelled at you to get down, so you did.
“You really wanna do this, man?” Rafe questions JJ.
JJ shrugs, “If it keeps you dead then yeah.”
“Not unless you’re the dead one first,” Rafe states, slowly moving his finger to the trigger.
You began shaking while John B motioned for you and JJ to stay quiet as he slowly made his way to Rafe and pushed him down to the ground. Shots were fired at the sky before Sarah grabbed Rafe’s gun and threw it into the water.
JJ made sure you weren’t shot or anything before he went to help your brother as Rafe was strangling him, and JJ pulled Rafe off of John B and took matters into his own hands. JJ threw punches at Rafe, but he fought back then JJ pressed his fingers into Rafe's eyes before he started to punch him again to the point of blood running down Rafe's face then JJ began strangling him back to feel what you felt the night he choked you.
John B and Pope pulled JJ off of Rafe this time while Sarah and Kie told you to go hide inside the house.
Your brother told JJ to take you somewhere far from there while they would handle Rafe, and JJ didn't hesitate and kicked Rafe in the stomach before doing so. Kie would’ve let him take the car, but it was her dad’s truck, and she wasn’t going to risk getting in trouble so he thought of taking Rafe’s bike as it added a little more taste of revenge.
After a couple of minutes, the commotion started calming down. You hated every second of it, you hated people yelling at each other, and you hated any type of fighting. You were feeling numb, all of it was happening too fast.
JJ came in, "We gotta go right now."
“Run!" you heard Kie shout as you both saw Rafe making his way towards you and JJ, who quickly grabbed your hand as you both ran towards the dirt bike.
You don't remember the last time you rode with JJ but this time, the wind hitting your face felt so freeing. An aura of colors felt like they were going inside your body as JJ sped up to where he was taking you. You took notice of the state his knuckles were in, all bloody. 
Within fifteen minutes, you both arrived near a small hidden shed near the woods. It intimated you to go in the woods with how dark it was, but JJ reassured you it was fine.
“How’d you find this place?” you ask him.
“Well,” he begins, “when I wanted to get away from my dad, I would hide here if I had nowhere else to go."
You nodded at his response, not knowing what to say as if you two didn’t go through chaos moments ago.
“This is also where John B and I first smoked weed together.” JJ laughs at the memory.
"I'm assuming this is where he would sneak off to then," you mention.
"For sure," JJ replies.
"I'm honestly worried right now for my brother and the others," you admit, "anything could have happened over there."
"The worst that could've happened is someone getting shot, but they got rid of it."
"That someone could've been you!" you cry out, "Rafe was pointing it at you."
JJ looks away for a second, rethinking the whole occurrence. 
"I was just trying to protect you..." he responds, "I couldn't risk losing you again if he had taken you or not,"
From that moment, you realized that the right one was always JJ. You both just needed the time to figure out the things in yourselves and what your heart truly desired and JJ had already done that; his heart desired you.
"And you did it, Jay," you reassure, feeling like your heart was screaming at you to spill out your true feelings, "just like you always have, it's you who I can always count on, and you've proven that."
JJ stares into your eyes, "What are you trying to say?"
"It's you who makes me feel safe and cared about, no matter what situation we're both in, you don't give up, and you're always there...it's you who I want."
JJ grabs your face, kissing you like he had been waiting to do that. You both missed this. His affection towards you always made you feel special, and you're the only person he's still ever wanted.
He pulls away, "You didn't have to tell me twice...I've missed you."
"I've missed you too," you smile, holding his hands that were still grabbing your face.
"So!" John B calls out with Sarah next to him who gives you a teasing smile, startling you, "It's a good thing I checked here first and yes, everything's taken care of."
"That's great man," JJ comments, acting like John B didn't catch you two in the middle of something.
John B pulls you into a hug when he sees your bruises and apologizes for what you went through. "From now on, promise me I'll be one of your first options to come if there's trouble."
"I promise,"
"I also just wanted to let you know, don't worry about him," Sarah refers to Rafe, "I got it taken care of and he's got other things to worry about so you're going to be okay."
Sarah had taken advantage of being her father's favorite so she just called him and took her side when she told him about Rafe's actions.
"Thank you, Sarah." you smile.
"So, you guys want to get out of here and do some illegal shit or?" John B asks, lightening the mood, "Pope and Kie are waiting in the Twinkie."
"Let's go!" JJ exclaims, "Lead the way, John B."
While everyone else gets in the Twinkie, you and JJ still go on the dirt bike with him now being the proud owner of two dirt bikes.
"Hey, listen," JJ looks back at you, "I know you just went through a lot, so I just wanted to let you know that there's no rush in anything between us, I'll always be by your side every step of the way and I'll be here when you're ready."
You smile and kiss him on the cheek, "Thank you, JJ, I'm glad to have you in my life."
JJ smiles and speeds off as you're hugging his waist, holding on tight but JJ was loving every second of it, happy to have you back in his life as well.
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627 notes · View notes
justtwotired · 6 months
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Whispers of the night-Lloyd Garmadon x F!reader
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Hi, this will become a new series, I’ve never done a series on Tumbler, only Wattpad and AO3, but I’ll probably add some of those series on her aswell, not the long ones, though.
I’ll add this series to both those platforms somewhere this month, but I’ll probably change the name cuz I don’t like this one that much.
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Summary: y/n is your typical rebelling teen, sneaking out, ignoring her parent requests, stealing snacks from shops, skipping school. People who are like her, people with powers, normally do good, like the ninja, she likes to live a quite, but not so quite life.
Like that, she ignores the power she holds, she holds the power of illusion, she does not keep it a secret form her friends, though doesn’t like to talk about it much with people outside her friend group.
Her power isn’t unknown, so, of course, she did get an invitation to the tournament of elements, but she never attended, having promised herself she would live a quite, normal, teenager life.
That changes when a certain green ninja enters her life.
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“Yes! Perfect, Millie!” Y/n clapped as the friend group cheered. The eight of them spent most of their free time in the skate park in Ninjago city.
It only had a pole, bank, pit and a halfpipe (which they where currently sitting on) but it would do, if they needed more like a stair railing, they’d go to other parts of the city.
Amelia landed on Y/n’s right side with a cocky smirk. Next to her sat Anthony while Luna stood behind them.
It was a sunny Wednesday, one of the last sunny days they where expecting, as it was late September.
“Alright, now copy that.” Amelia patted Y/n on the back and the girl got up, “I’ll destroy you, Cooper.” She said with slightly narrowed eyes and a smirk.
She picked up her skateboard, the bottom decorated with small doodles she made herself, but also some made by her friends, names included.
“Want me to film you?” Flora called from the other side of the halfpipe. “Sure!” Y/n called back, getting into position.
When she got the thumbs up from Flora, she shifted her weight and took off, getting cheered on by the others while Amelia jokingly yelled “boo!”
The six Ninja had the afternoon for themselves, having trained in the morning and decided on spending some time in the local park.
They walked past the skatepark and Lloyd looked over to see what the people there where up to. There was a girl with h/c hair soaring on her skateboard while being cheered on.
She was really beautiful.
“What ya looking at?” Kai looked at the direction Lloyd was looking at and smirked. “Watching the pretty skate girls?” He teased making Lloyds cheeks slightly heat up before protesting, making the others laugh.
“Good enough for you?” Y/n cocked a brow at Amelia who grinned. “More then enough.” She said. Flora, Arthur and Charlie, who had been on the other side, climbed onto their side.
“Who’s getting drinks?” Y/n heard Charlie ask, she had registered what he said to late, and when she looked up, everyone had a finger on their nose.
“Fine,” she grumbled, making the others chuckle. She wrote down what everyone wanted and waved before heading to the food and drink stall not far away.
When she arrived there she smiled at the boy with blonde hair that stood there, seeming to wait for his order.
He smiled back and she heard chuckling behind them. He turned around and shot his friends who stood not far away a glare.
“Good afternoon, how may I help you?” The teenager behind the register asked and Y/n smiled kindly.
“Hello,” she greeted. “Could I please have two cokes, a strawberry shake, one lemonade, one ice-tea, two passion fruit shakes and a ginger beer?” She asked and the girl nodded with a polite smile.
“Was that all?” She questioned. “Yes, that was it.” She answered and pulled out her card. “That would be eighteen fourth five,”
Y/n payed for the drinks and waited next to the boy who was tapping his foot on the ground a bit impatiently.
She couldn’t help but notice how cute he was. Blonde hair that was shining in the sun, light freckles on his face, bright green eyes and she couldn’t help but see he worked out daily.
Feeling he stare, he looked at her and smiled kindly, making her quickly look the other way.
He was then handed his drinks, and walked of after giving her a polite nod.
When she received her drinks aswel, she walked back to her friends who excitedly ran over and all took their own drinks.
Lloyd handed everyone their drinks and they smirked at him. “What?” He asked, taking his own drink in his hands.
“She was totally checking you out man!” Cole said, pushing Lloyds shoulder slightly, and if it wouldn’t have been for his own super strength, he would’ve fallen over.
“Who was?” He asked confused, making the others exchange baffled glances. “That pretty skater girl, obviously.” Kai rolled his eyes.
“No she was not!” Lloyd pointed out and Nya sighed. “Lloyd, I think it’s time we get your eyes checked.” She said disappointedly, making the others laugh.
“But come on dude, you can’t tell me she isn’t pretty, right?” Kai poked Lloyds arm making the green ninja chuckle. “She is, really pretty indeed.” He admitted.
The group had decided to make their way to James’ house as he had a huge backyard. Still sipping on their drinks, they walked to the entrance to the park.
Well, except for Luna, who was standing on her skateboard while holding onto Arthur, casually looking at her phone while being pulled forwards.
“Hey, is that the guy from the stand?” Amelia suddenly pointed to a group of friends who where standing in the shadow of a tree.
Amongst them indeed the boy Y/n had stood next to and mentioned to her friends.
Embarrassed, she quickly pulled her friends arm down as three of the boys looked their way, Amelia being rather loud.
“Millie!” Y/n hissed making her friends laugh.
“Hey, wait!” They turned to someone approaching them. “Hello?” Anthony raised an eyebrow at the guy standing in front of them.
“Hi,” he pointed his attention to Y/n, “I’m Kai and my friend over there,” he pointed at the blonde boy from earlier who looked mortified. “He thinks you’re really pretty and wants your number.” He said and Y/n gave an amused smirk while Flora and Amelia giggled.
Y/n tilted her head to the side to look at the blond boy who seemed to be scolding one of his friends with black hair.
“Sure, why not?” She smiled and looked over at Charles.
“Charlie, can I have the sticky notes and a pen?” She asked and he smirked and handed them over.
She wrote her number down and her name right under it. “Here, give that to your handsome friend.” She winked as she gave it before Kai thanked her and took off again.
“Damn N/n, you just got yourself boyfriend.” Luna teased with a smirk making Y/n give her a look. “It’s just a number, Lu.” She said, making her friends protest.
“Why did you have to dare him to do that?” Lloyd pointed an accusing finger at Cole who could only laugh.
Kai had jogged back over and everyone looked at him expecting and he gave Lloyd the sticky note with her name and number.
“Y/n, huh?” He read with a small smirk, having not expected to actually get her number.
“Mhm, and, her words where ‘give that to your handsome friend’ so I think you just got yourself a maybe girlfriend.” Kai said and Lloyd knew at that moment he was in for a lot of teasing for the rest of the day.
“I’m home!” Y/n closed the door behind her and walked into her house. It was almost 10 so she was surprised to see her little brother still on the couch.
She walked past and pushed the hood of his hoody over his head and he let out an angry yelp.
“Mooomm, Y/n’s bullying me!” He called out and their mother poked her head out of the kitchen. “Y/n?” She gave her eldest daughter a look making her smirk.
“Why’s he still up?” She entered the kitchen, taking an apple out of the fruit basket. “He’s free from school tomorrow so I allowed him to stay up late tonight.” Her mother said, rolling out dough to make cookies while Y/n took a bite of her apple.
“He’s literally six,” she swallowed her apple. “You didn’t allow me to stay up this late when I was that age.” She said
“Well this is different… kind of, but it’s just one time, I hope it won’t get to his head.” Her mother shook her head making Y/n chuckle.
“If it does it’s a you problem,” she threw the remains of her apple away and snatched her phone form the table.
“I’m heading out around 12, Charlie, Luna, Millie and I are going for a movie and then we’ll see what we’re going to do,” she looked at her phone.
“Hold up young lady, while that sounds fun, there has been a lot going on around the city again, I don’t want you going out at night.” He mother said making her groan.
“Come on mom, nothings going to happen, the ninja and police can handle it, it’s not that big of a threat anyway.” She waved it off. “Y/n!” Her mother said sternly and she groaned.
“Fine.” She left the kitchen and headed up the stairs with a scowl.
The ding of her phone made her look back at her screen.
Unknown number huh?
???
Hi, I wanted to apologise for my friends earlier today.
It’s me from the park btw.
You
Oh hi!
No that’s completely fine, I thought it was pretty funny.
Thanks for the complement btw ;)
???
Always happy to complement pretty girls :)
She couldn’t help but blush before quickly composing herself and sending a text back.
You
Always happy to receive complements from handsome guys.
Who I don’t know the name of btw
What’s your name?😅
???
Lmao, it’s Lloyd, and I supposed yours is Y/n?
You
That would be me!
The two texted for a while, and when she looked at the time she couldn’t believe an hour had already passed.
You
Oh damn, I really need to go, but I’d like to hang out some time
Lloyd
Timing, I need to go to, actually.
Sounds fun btw, text me a date and time, I’ll be there ;)
She chuckled and changed her chat.
The abusment park
LuLu✨
We still up for the movies?
Jamie
Nope
Lulu✨
Piss off Jamie, you weren’t coming in the first place
Jamie
Oh😪
Arty😈
#stopJamesabuse
You
Sooo…
King Charles👑
Y/n😤
You
I am so sorry, my mother is being a pain :(
LuLu✨
Just sneak out
Problem solved
Mills🩷
Y/n you better sneak out or I’ll sneak in and drag you out.
You
Damn ya don’t need to threaten me.
My mom just laid down, I suppose I could sneak out in ten
King Charles👑
See you there then
You better show up🫵🏻
You
🫡
After ten minutes, Y/n could hear her mother softly snoring in her room and she could still hear the tv downstairs, hoping that was enough distraction for her snitching little brother.
She opened her window softly and sat on the window sill. She took en deep breath and jumped down, landing on the grass in their front yard.
She grabbed the broom that stood agains the wall of the house and used it to push her window closed.
That’ll do.
The abusement park
You
Be there in twenty
King Charles👑
You better be
LuLu✨
We will come for you👹
Y/n chuckled and grabbed her skateboard before making her way to the city centrum.
She put in her headphones and blasted music, making the noice of her surroundings disappear into the background.
At arrival, she smirks at her friends who get up at the sight of her.
“N/n!” Amelia cheers as she pulls her into an excited hug. “So Lu just checked on her phone, and there are four seats free in some sort of horror movie, so if we sneak in, we can watch it no problem.” She explains.
“Sure yeah, I can fix that.” Y/n grins, and with a snap of her fingers, they disappeared to the crowds eye.
“Holy shit what happened?” Charlie says panicked. “Illusions Charlie!” Luna hit his shoulder. “Oh, right.”
After four years, Charlie still can’t get used to Y/n having these powers, so whenever she uses them, he believes in the illusion making him see them.
If one does belief the illusion is really there and not an illusion, they just see what Y/n wants them to see, but if they realise what she’s doing, the illusion disappears for their eyes.
“Let’s go then, and uh, stay silent.” She says and her friends follow her, making sure to not walk into someone.
They got into the theater easily, it was still quite empty so when they sat, y/n could change them back and they snickered.
When the movie ended, they snuck out again.
“I can’t believe you actually got scared!” Y/n and Luna where laughing while Amelia cursed at them. She had screamed multiple times. Charlie just followed them with an amused grin.
201 notes · View notes
blouisparadise · 29 days
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Here are some amazing bottom Louis fics that were posted or completed during the month of March. We really hope you enjoy this list. Happy reading!
1) Bloodsucker | Not Rated | 1,738 words
Harry and Louis’ passionate night takes a violent turn.
2) Hell Is A Teenage Boy | Explicit | 1,970 words
In the quiet suburbs of Roswell, the Tomlinson family has new neighbors: Harry and Alice Styles, a lovely and happy couple. Where Louis, a hopeless rebel fell for the man in the suit. Of course, he can't forget his pretty model wife holding his arm. Simple details.
3) Sweet But Psycho Only For You | Mature | 2,728 words
Finding your forever person is something that many dream to do. For some it takes longer than others and the trials it takes to get to that person can be overwhelming. For Harry it was simple. He didn’t have to relive a Shakespearean play or over exaggerated drama to find his love. He met his person at a corner store at 3am yelling at a clerk over cereal and instantly fell in love. It was all so simple. They dated, fought, fucked, moved in together. Oh, so simple. Until it wasn’t.
4) Blue Yarn | Explicit | 2,875 words
Louis was on his hands and knees on their bed, in nothing but the blue jumper Harry had knitted him, arching his back beautifully, fucking himself on… And Harry had to take one step closer before he realized that, outside of Louis’ bum, the end of his thickest knitting needle was poking out. Holy fucking shit. Louis was fucking himself on Harry's knitting needle.
5) To Make a Home Where There Is None | Mature | 3,907 words
Harry shows up and doesn't want to leave. Louis doesn't mind too much.
6) Your Hand In My Hand, So Still And Discreet | Explicit | 4,513 words
“It was about how cold he was under me. How still. It was knowing that even if he had died, even if he was already dead, he would still be mine.” Louis thought he knew each one of his boyfriend’s stories, secrets, and kinks. Turns out Harry was keeping a crucial one hidden away.
7) Haze On The Horizon | Explicit | 6,397 words
“— Louis?” He couldn’t speak. He should hang up. He should’ve never called. His breaths were building into a staccato. “…baby? Are you doing alright? Talk to me, please.” Harry sounded so concerned, and it was quickly weakening his defences. No. No, he wouldn’t. No- “Omega,” Harry called, voice low and just shy of his alpha voice, even through the phone, and Louis just… Louis broke. “I miss you! I-” he cried out, an agonising crack in his voice, a loud sob being ripped from him. “— I need you!” Louis sniffled harshly, slumping, before admitting, quieter, “I need you.” Louis finds himself unexpectedly going into soft heat. Which would’ve been fine, except he is hundreds of miles away from his alpha, Harry, and he needs him. They make it work.
8) Pour Some Sugar (Wax) On Me | Explicit | 11,213 words
Note: This fic has mentions of BH.
“Okay, so I just need you to hug your legs to your chest for me, and we can get started.” Swallowing past the lump that has lodged in his throat, Louis reaches down and grabs his shins, hugging his legs up to his chest, effectively putting his bare asshole, taint, and balls on display.
9) The Room Thief | Not Rated | 12,321 words
Louis: Can I come over? Need your help. Niall: Did someone die? I don’t need to help you bury a body do I? Wait, did you behead one of your alpha flatmates? I hope it was the one that smells like cherries. That is such a weird scent for an alpha. It’s disturbing. And I can’t even smell it. Louis: I’ve just been kicked out. Can I crash on your couch? Niall: Zayn’s in class. I’m here so get over here NOW. Louis: Thanks mate. Gonna pack a few things and will head over. Be there in about a half hour.
10) I Dig Your Cinema | Explicit | 12,930 words
It wasn’t that Louis didn’t want to see Harry’s latest film; it was a tragically pathetic fact that Louis had watched every single show and film, every interview, every red carpet that Harry had done since his ex-boyfriend had decided to leave Uni in the second year and pursue an acting career. It's just that he wanted to watch it on his own, in his flat, with a soft blanket, beer, ice cream, and a large box of tissues.
11) I'll Look After You | Mature | 15,471 words
I mean, when Harry inherited his late uncle's hybrid, he didn't necessarily expect this... Where Louis is a nice hybrid cat who's never lived with anyone but an old man, and who discovers the freedom of living with Harry...
12) I Don’t Want You | Mature | 35,941 words
Louis never wanted to be an omega. He didn’t want to end up like his mother- a submissive omega that married his father in an arranged marriage, and is now living her life as a baby making machine, and a trophy wife who can never voice her opinion- Louis was never the quiet type, he always said exactly what he thought. But life has a funny way of fucking him over and Louis finds himself forced into an arranged marriage with the one and only Harry styles.
13) Hiding Green Smiles | Explicit | 45,227 words
Louis’ heart is racing in his chest. The idea of temporary bonding—letting Harry bite down right on that spot without it being a real bond—makes his mouth go dry. He didn’t even know something like this existed! His mind fills with all the possibilities and questions. What’s it going to feel like? How will it affect his orgasms? How will it affect Harry’s knot? What parts of a bond does it simulate? When Louis goes with Liam to a hidden sex shop, he discovers a new sex toy, the BiteMat, and he can't believe his luck. He loves being bitten, has a biting kink, even, and now he can be bitten over his bonding spot without the fear of anything permanent. He hastily buys it to try with Harry, his friend and roommate, and his regular heat/rut partner for the last eighteen months. They've been friends-with-benefits outside heat or rut for eight months now, and Louis' been desperately in love with Harry for at least five of those months.
14) A Match Into Water | Not Rated | 68,756 words
“So, who’s the guy?” Louis startled at the question, immediately locking his phone and dropping it onto the beanbag cushion below him. This was a topic he desperately wanted to avoid with his friends, but it was bound to happen sooner or later. That didn’t mean he would try to avoid it though. “What guy?” He rushed out, looking at Liza with a dumbfounded expression, trying his best to avoid Niall and Jeremy clearly sharing a knowing look. “You’ve been on your phone nonstop, you’re never on your phone while working. Not to mention, you’re smiling at your phone like a nutter,” Niall pipes up, grinning at him facetiously.
15) I Would Rather Go Blind | Mature | 79,150 words
"What are you doing here, Harry?" Louis asked with confidence, his gaze briefly flickering to Harry's plump lips, a momentary hint of desire flickering in his eyes. "I…" Harry's voice caught in his throat as Louis' gaze travelled downward, coming to rest on his chest. Without hesitation, Louis raised his hands from the desk, bringing them to Harry's chest, helping him button the one he had missed. When he attempted to pull away, Harry's hand shot out and gripped at his wrist. "You're shaking," Louis observed, his eyes shifting to their joined hands before returning to meet Harry's gaze, unwavering. "It's…" Harry cleared his throat. "It's you. You make me… I don't know what is happening to me." "What do you feel?" he whispered, his voice barely audible. "It's… warm," he began, shyly bringing Louis' hand against the centre of his chest over his shirt. "Here." His hand slid down to his stomach, their eyes locked in a powerful gaze. "And here." They remained silent for a moment, both captivated by the intensity of their connection. "Every time you're near me."
16) As Sweet As You Are | Mature | 87,394 words
Note: This fic was deleted and has now been reuploaded.
"Do you not have something more expensive?" The alpha gives him a weird look, resting his hands on the table. "Definitely not something the cost of that shade of blue that are your eyes," he responds effortlessly. "Why is a male omega on his own out in the middle of the woods at this time of night?" Harry speaks, staring intensely at the prince, smirk lingering on his face. "Your kind is rather rare. You should be more careful. There are a lot of rogue alphas around that won't blink until they've knotted and bred you up." The blue eyed omega swallows, shuffling in his seat awkwardly and looking anywhere but the alpha before him. "I ran away from home," Louis admits, occupying himself by taking a sip of the lager instead of thinking about the fact that the alpha hasn't yet taken his eyes off him. "My parents want me to marry someone I do not want to marry, so I ran."
Check out our other fic rec lists by category here and by title here.
You can find other monthly roundup fic rec lists here.
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wen-kexing-apologist · 3 months
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Oh my GOD, She Loves to Cook and She Loves to Eat did not have to demolish my emotions like that in episode 8. I am so proud of Kasuga for standing her ground and prioritizing her life, her happiness, and her chosen family over the demands of filial piety. It’s really important to me the way they have always framed Kasuga’s family interactions in relative dark and cramped spaces (she has both of the conversations with her father in the evening in the car) and how every time she has a phone call where it is clear her life holds no value in the eyes of her father, Kasuga enters a space that is bright and warm with Nomoto right at her side. 
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This season really feels like it is focusing on a theme of “freedom.” Nomoto freeing herself from her past identities and finding new ones that fit, Nagumo making steps to free herself from the fear of eating food with others, and Kasuga freeing the expectations her father has of her, and allowing herself to live and full and happy life that is her own. 
I love this gl for the women it includes, the “it takes a village” kind of mindset that Kasuga’s relationship to her coworkers, to Nagumo, and to Nomoto are what give her the strength to make that decision is beautiful. It was so important to the story, and also so important to me that Kasuga was able to have that conversation in the restaurant with her coworker. 
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To be able to sit with her coworker and hear first hand how much regret and how much identity erasure happens when your own life is disregarded for the sake of upholding misogyny. The way this very directly confirmed what I think Kasuga feared should she return home. The way her coworker was able to hear a daughter be worried for her mother and want to free her, free them both, from playing caretaker. The way Kasuga was able to hear a mother tell her the only thing she wanted was for her daughter to be free. 
The way we know Kasuga feels the same way about Nomoto because of how Kasuga seeks her out. Nomoto is the safety blanket, Nomoto is the hug, Nomoto is light, and warmth, and freedom, and a fully belly she never got to have as a kid. Kasuga just rebelled against the pressures of filial piety, and she needs someone to ground her. I love that Kasuga got to see someone get furious on her behalf, to value her life so highly that they would fight an elder for daring to presume otherwise. 
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I, like many, was crying at the scene set to Chosen Family. It was so beautiful to see three independent women coming together around the table, valuing each other as they are, accommodating and considerate of everyone’s needs. I feel like we don’t get enough focus on that in BLs. It’s why I love friend groups like Dean, Pharm, and Manow in Until We Meet Again, or Samsee, Prem, and Dynamite in Cooking Crush, or Toh, Jao, Daisy, Som, etc in Secret Crush on You because that is often the closest we get to chosen family being shown on screen. It’s definitely there, do not get me wrong, but the feeling of a scene like this, of a character rejecting their biological family and sticking to their chosen is rare to me in many of the other shows I’ve watched so far. 
 Anyway, all this to say I am so proud of Kasuga and I am excited to see where the rest of this season takes us if we’re already getting some of my favorite scenes of all time not even halfway through the season. 
And thank you to @furritsubs for taking all that time and effort to sub this show for us <3
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actual-changeling · 3 months
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Do you think Crowley would be more emotionally open without Aziraphale? I’ve never thought about it, but I’ve just read the tags of your last ask and now I’m really interested
Short answer? Yes, absolutely.
Long answer? Also yes, but it's complicated. <- past me was correct, this got very long, my apologies.
What-if scenarios are always part canonical evidence/part subjective interpretation, because the only Crowley we know is the one who spent six thousand years orbiting Aziraphale.
Still, there was a pre-Aziraphale him, up until Job I presume, which is when they started being lonely together, and we do see what they were like!
The Starmaker is his 'before', the being he was before the doubt, the war, the fall. Before hell and the garden and Aziraphale. She is the blueprint the Crowley we know is built on. In the short time we have with her, she's incredibly emotive—with both positive and negative emotions—and her body language is soft, almost fluid.
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Showing emotions is simply a natural part of being a person, and what exactly that looks like obviously varies; but this angel has never been punished for doing so. There are no consequences, it's safe to exist however she wants (though not much longer).
After this, we get Crawley what I assume is more or less a short amount of time after the fall. Everyone got settled in hell, and once the institution was functional, they now needed to actually have humans running around on earth. Otherwise there are no souls to torture.
Even here, Crawley is still open, still smiling, still soft, although a bit more covert in their body language. She laughs and—this is the important part—questions God right on there on the walls of Eden.
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Even after falling for asking question, she does not stop, not for one moment. Despite the trauma they undoubtedly must have gone through, Crawley sees an angel, slithers up to him, and strikes up a conversation, trusting that he will not hurt them.
Now, this is where subjective interpretation comes in, because we have no information of what the fall was actually like. They got punished for asking question, for rebelling, for trying to change the system—but in my opinion, they never got punished for having emotions.
In the modern day, angels are terrified of making mistakes or asking question, but they are still emotive, they physically express their feelings. Some are more intense in their expressions, others subdued, but from Muriel all the way to Gabriel, they talk about emotions, they show emotions, and that in of itself is not a crime.
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Hell is just as—if not more—emotional than heaven. Just remember Hastur when Ligur was melting and then later during the trial, or Beelzebub when ze summons Crowley in the first episode.
Yes, they communicate in code a lot, but only when it comes to very specific kinds of information and interactions, not when someone is going insane over the blaring alarm.
Why does all of this matter?
Because it proves that the level of emotional suppression Crowley and particularly Aziraphale have reached is not taught by either heaven or hell.
Instead, just like Aziraphale's claims that 'heaven is watching', it is a rule system instated by himself for himself, and by extension for Crowley; he set the requirements for interaction and forced Crowley to meet them if he wanted to be around him.
We don't see Crowley laugh the way he did as Bildad or the Starmaker anymore, we never see him carefree or joyous or sad. I mean for fuck's sake, he HIDES behind his glasses, a physical manifestation of the repression he's caught in.
Humans wouldn't notice his eyes in the same way the police doesn't notice them at the convent in Tadfield. The glasses show up during Job, and we know Crowley already had a plan to go against orders, so glasses it is. However, he doesn't wear them during the crucifixion, which comes after Job. Crowley tells us she spent a lot of time with Jesus, so you'd expect her to be wearing them, but she isn't—whatever her relationship with Jesus was, she seemed to trust him a lot, and Aziraphale wasn't around.
Aziraphale is the one who demands silence, who never wants to talk about anything he himself hasn't approved as a 'safe' topic, he and his fucking forgiveness whenever Crowley questions God, calling him a demon and pushing him away whenever he openly shows affection towards Aziraphale.
So yeah, of course Crowley cannot regulate his emotions and has no idea how to express himself now, Aziraphale has shoved a gag down his throat for six thousand bloody years and still wants it to stay in place. Our closed-off Crowley would not exist without Aziraphale's continuous presence in his life, and that is a hill I am more than willing to die on.
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Crowley is getting his heart broken in the worst, most violent way imaginable both times. But now? His face is stone and steel, one third of it hidden away behind black-out glasses. No tears, no words, no desperation, no flying hands or fluidly moving body.
This is the kind of person you become when someone else forces you to make yourself small, when emotions are punished and affection withheld until you act the way they want. It's horrible, it's unhealthy, and it destroys parts of yourself that you will never get back, no matter how hard you try.
So, in conclusion, yes, without Aziraphale's influence, Crowley would be softer, more open, and we would still see remnants of the Starmaker in him—but we don't.
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