#If you cannot describe your work without referencing something else it’s not good enough

[horrorlesbians]

I HATE this way of marketing books/movies/tv “this thing is just like this other thing you probably like but different!!!” JUST DESCRIBE WHAT IT IS WITHOUT COMPARING IT TO ESTABLISH MEDIA

#🦌 #it makes me so mad #If you cannot describe your work without referencing something else it’s not good enough

[2bhankfan]

 Hey Guys , Today tobpic; 2bhank

I will assume everything anything in the main series, Project Nexus 1 and 2, and anything Krinkels has said is canon. ONE IMPORTANT NOTE: Krinkels has stated “Relationships aren’t really a thing in Nevada” but that’s stupid, and this is the same man that keeps making Sanford and Deimos make out and be valentines day posters etc. etc. even if it’s for fan service I don’t really care and I don’t think anyone else does. Anything I talk about will be referencing canon, with some speculative thoughts.

Generally their situation is so ... strange to me ?!?? I’ve really looked for ways they could be heterosexual I have but nothing they do makes sense to me. Hank is trustworthy enough of Doc to live with him (and more importantly, Doc is able to live with Hank and survive,) Doc is close enough with Hank to have known Hank’s “soft side”, curiously “considering how much he stitches him up” meaning they’ve both spent a decent amount of time together and that Doc does... something medical? with him. more on that soon

Let’s lay out some basic character traits. Hank is a murder machine, entirely defined by his violent behavior. He’s easily irritable (Killing Boombox Guy for having annoying music?) and always looking for a reason to slit someone’s throat (”Yeah? Because between you and me, I was hoping it would come to this.”) They don’t yield very well to being good with people, described as uncooperative and seems to be much more antisocial as the only characters in the entire series that don’t outright hate him are Sanford, Deimos, and Doc.

Doc is a calm and collected professional working as S.Q.’s communications and possible shadow leader. He takes a lot of care in his words to get all the details laid out to give you simple commands to follow and play out whatever mission you’re assigned however you can, as long as the job gets done and done well. His professional facade comes off as soon as he’s alone or with people he trusts, such as Deimos. He’s more of a crude arrogant asshole, signing himself off with “Big D(issenter)” and swearing “God damn it, Deimos.” He jokes the same as the rest, probably thanks to his background in the AAHW.

First thing that caught my attention was the house they both lived in, I made a chart you can refer to as well. (Edit: In the middle of making this post and looking at twitch clips, This fucking comes up, so money can’t be a motivating factor for anything he does.)

So, an Ex-AAHW agent invites the single man his operation was against to live in his home, and somehow that man agrees. Hank, if he was after something like his house, could just easily kill him and take it for himself but it seems Doc provides something that Hank can’t get all for himself, he needs Doc. It’s likely that most of the reasons he began living with Doc were circumstantial, from Madness Combat 4 and earlier Hank would of been able to revive (and even stitch himself back together?) himself without Doc’s help, he isn’t getting paid to stay, and there are no other canon known reasons as to why Hank would even trust Doc enough to live with him. I genuinely cannot wrap my head around this, PLEASE add your thoughts if you have any. Sadly I don't think there's even enough information on Doc in general to get any more than "He thinks Hank's revival ability is whipass and wants to check it out."

Hank's trust in Doc might imply a deeper relationship, like history with the other before coming to live with him. Doc is able to get Hank to do a LOT of different things, contracts to suppressing his violent tendencies to living in his damn house.

(A note reading,

"Hank, Pretty please

1, Rescue Noobs

2, Acquire hardware

3, Destroy Nexus

4, Proceed")

The first image is purely speculation, but considering the language used ("Rescue noobs") as well as Sanford & Deimos' only known alliance to be with S.Q. and Doc working as the shadow leader/communications for jobs like these, it is pretty safe to assume Doc was the one who wrote this message to Hank.

In Project Nexus 2, he asks him to do the same thing as he did in Project Nexus 1 (The timeline for this series is a little weird, so that's for another post) and even ends up giving him the rocket launcher he asked for during the SOMEWHERE IN NEVADA flashback. There is atleast somewhat of a mutual relationship with this, Doc gives him all the tools and a goal while Hank gets to kill anything to his hearts desire.

(Doc stopping Hank from pulling out his sword and stabbing Jebediah by only raising a hand.)

The second image shows that Hank, faced with the man who'd killed him twice, was about to kill him only to stop himself when Doc raised his hand to him. His natural response to most situations is to simply murder, shown in both Madness 6 and 9.5, and most of the characters have trouble dealing with that trait including the Employers. Doc, however, is the only character we've seen able to control and reason with these urges while others have failed pretty miserably leading to SOMEONE'S death.

It's incredibly odd to me how Hank's personality switches up entirely in every case he's interacting with Doc, where he goes from an unstoppable murder machine to a decently-mannered soldier who allows himself to be vulnerable. He isn't even getting paid.

I'll make a second part for Doc / 2bdamned , but this is what I have for Hank rn. I might edit this later as well.

#madness combat

[lazyliars]

/rp

Before I get into it, I want to state that is EXPLICITLY an analysis of the Characters, and is not intended to touch on how the cc’s played them in a meta sense unless specifically stated otherwise.

Also, this is technically a part two to my other post, which took a more in depth look at Techno and Phil’s reactions to Tommy’s death. It’s not necessary when reading this post, but I don’t address their reactions here.

So. The question must be asked.

Are we [the Syndicate] the baddies?

Yes.

The End.

 Why are the Syndicate the baddies?

They got damn logo is a wither skull.

The End.

That's not how this works.

Yeah, yeah. You’re right.

The Syndicate's goals as an organization are not inherently bad. They seem to have good intentions behind them, and the focus on the freedom of it's individual group members is important to remember when talking about it; It is not a government. There is no hierarchical power system. No one is forced to do anything against their will, or surrender any of their rights or power to remain a member. It is not a government.

I also want to address Techno and Phil backing Ranboo into a corner – I see them getting a lot of flack for this, but I personally do not think it is relevant to the greater discussion, or necessarily representative of any contradictions within the organization. It was clearly played for laughs, and after they back off they clarify to Ranboo that they won't force him. Then later when Phil and Ranboo are alone, Ranboo feels safe enough to express that he felt like he was pressured into it, and Phil assures him he is allowed to leave whenever he wants; He is not being forced to do anything, and he is not being coerced or blackmailed.

None of the Syndicate members have done any wrongs against each other in the context of the Syndicate, OR gone against any of the Syndicate's core principles.

That, said, holy shit are they the baddies.

Listen, there's trying to telegraph a meaning or message to the audience and then there's having your logo be wither skulls on blackstone. That is straight out of the skit I keep referencing, seriously.

Okay, but, they laughed at it! It was played as a joke, just like the Ranboo thing!

The Ranboo thing was improv, the Syndicate's headquarters were planned – the artistic choices that they made reflect on what role they want the build and the organization inhabiting it to play in the future storylines.

Wither Skulls kind of have some CONNOTATIONS. Techno is an English major, I don't think he chose the most threatening imagery possible on accident, and then joked about the way people would interpret it just to stir the pot. This reads as hugely intentional.

And beyond that, the jokes they make during this part aren't “haha yeah, we look bad but we're actually good!” they're “you can tell by looking at these that we're the good guys wink wink, this is good guy stuff right here :)” It is a joke about how they are definitely not the good guys. This isn't even a case of unreliable narrators, this is one step down from flat out saying the meta intent.

But okay, I hear you, I'm talking about things that haven't happened yet. The Syndicate hasn't used any Withers, they could be an aesthetic choice.  Lets look at what they do in practice.

So, they barge into private property, assess Snowchester's right to continue existing based entirely on their own ideals of what Freedom is, and then only once Tubbo assures them that they have no standing leader do they grant the place their approval to, and I gotta stress this part, continue existing.

 In my Quackity meta, I already talked about how Government in the context of a M1necraft RP cannot be compared to IRL Governments on a one-to-one scale. They don't serve the same purposes or have the same type of power. What I didn't talk about was Agency in the context of m1necraft governments.

In an irl government, if you are born into one, you can't really leave without committing a massive overhaul on your life, which can be expensive and difficult, if not impossible for many people. Even in a “benevolent” government, the simple physicality of where you were born can prevent you from leaving it easily.

The same hurdles do not exist in the Dream SMP. People who join M1necraft governments choose to. They want to, either at the beginning when they form one, or later on when they join up. So far, no Government has just Sprung Up and forced the current residents of an area to become dependent on them, except maybe the Eggpire, who's status as a government is... shakey.

And even when people want to leave or separate from the government, they have been historically able to do so without any trouble or any effort from said governments to stop them. Jack Manifold emancipated from Manberg. Fundy and Quackity both left to start new nations. In all cases they were allowed to do so without any attempts on the part of the governments to stop them, either through force, or institutions preventing them from doing so.

The most anyone has lost when leaving a government is their house, which is still usually their property anyway, and is something that is easily rebuilt elsewhere and is inconvenient to move anyway.

The only exceptions to this might be Schlatt exiling Wilbur and Tommy - but even then, they weren’t trying to leave, they were trying to get back in, and of course the original L’manberg revolution, where Dream attempted to force L’manberg back into the Dream SMP, which wasn’t even a government at that point in time.

I don’t consider Phil’s house arrest an example of a government forcing someone to stay a citizen - that was treated less as a matter of a citizen wanting to leave the country and more as a threat to national security. Still pretty fucked up, but it’s a different issue.

What I'm saying is, If Tubbo wants to create a government out in the middle of nowhere, threatening no one, forcing no one to join either through force or desperation, and allowing people to join willingly because they want to, then he should be allowed to do that.

The Irony of the Syndicate, a group of people consisting of some of the richest, strongest people on the server, going around and enforcing 'Freedom' that entails no one person having more power than any other, is absurd. 

It shows an extreme lack of self-awareness and/or self-righteousness, as they seem to think that they deserve to be the ones who decide what constitutes a government.

Snowchester is a small independent nation - they shouldn’t have to live in fear of being obliterated if they don’t walk on eggshells to meet an arbitrary standard decided by people who’s only authority on the matter COMES FROM THEIR PERSONAL POWER. No one elected them! No one chose them! They were not “approved” by the server at large to enact this kind of law.

The Syndicate are not a government, but they are an unsupervised power structure exerting their ideals on a land that did not ask for them. Like, These people have invented an actual Authoritarian-Anarchist faction. How the hell did they manage this?????

Back on topic.

Tubbo shows them the crater left by his nukes. The reaction is oddly positive – the nukes are fine by the morals of the Syndicate, apparently. I'd argue that they come across as more impressed than anything else; they seem to respect Tubbo for having gotten ahold of “real” power.

(There's a few good memes out there about “We can excuse nuclear weaponry, but we draw the line at Government!”)

So. By the Syndicate's standards: A single person or group of acceptably equal persons with weapons of mass-destruction are only worth “keeping an eye on” because they might provoke other people.

Like, I consider Project Dreamcatcher to be one of, if not the most morally ambiguous thing Tubbo has ever done, largely because it was all on his own initiative. He holds some culpability for The Butcher Army and Phil's house arrest, but they weren't his ideas and he was mostly following Quackity at that point.

And Phil tells Tubbo, IMMEDIATELY AFTER SEEING THE NUCLEAR CRATER:

“Looks like you've reformed a little bit Tubbo, I'm proud.”

And it's fine. Crimes against nature? Fine. A sign of healing in fact!! Tubbo is having a sweeeelll time and he definitely didn't make these nukes specifically in fear of being attacked by these exact people! Tubbo is doing great. Tubbo is doing fine. Tubbo. is. FINE.

Anyway.

I don't think this presentation of the Syndicate was an accident. Looking at the greater lore of SMP right now, after the Egg is done, their list of enemies is slim, and considering that they seem solely invested in taking down governments, that leaves maybe Snowchester, Kinoko Kingdom, and Eret and the greater Dream SMP.

Snowchester has not been shown to be corrupt, evil, or have any intent to go down that route. The most ambiguous thing they've done is, again, is the nukes. Other than that, it's pretty much your average cottagecore snow village.

Kinoko is presented in an even more morally 'good' light, Karl having founded it specifically for his Time-travel library purposes, which are currently being treated by the narrative as a selfless act, if not downright heroic.

Eret is also a fairly 'good' aligned character atm. He's been on that redemption grind since the og betrayal, and doesn't seem keen on backtracking. He's actively tried to leverage his position as king to make things better, and hasn't been quiet about that. He was also 'validated' by Tommy*, a character who has been described both by his allies and enemies as “the hero,” so take that as you will.

What I'm getting at is, all of the current potential enemies for the Syndicate aside from the Egg, are currently being cast as 'good,' and if they were to be attacked, they would undoubtedly have the moral high-ground, unless something drastically changed.

The only potential shakeups I can think of is are a Dream escape and/or a Wilbur revival, both of which could draw the Syndicate's attention and ire, depending on how things go. That said, it's just as likely that either or both of them would join the Syndicate – Dream still has that favor, and Phil and Techno both seemed to think Wilbur would've agreed with their blowing up L'manberg.

Both of those characters are currently **villains – the fact that they're both prime candidates for the Syndicate is a huge indication of the direction it's going to go as the plot moves forward.

((*I know some people are gonna come at me for painting Tommy as the “deciding factor” of what is morally good, so lemme just stop you there. I'm not talking about Tommy somehow having the 'right' to decide who is and isn't good, and definitely not the right to decide who should and shouldn't be king. I'm saying that Tommy, a character who the narrative treats as, if not a good person, then a person who is trying to be good, was in support of Eret, a character who has also been trying to be good.

Eret doesn't gain the moral highground because Tommy said so, he gets it because a character who the narrative treats as trying to do better, acknowledged Eret's earnest attempts at doing the same.

**I'm referring to Wilbur here as a villain because Tommy seemed convinced he would be if he were to be brought back. There is always the possibility that he's wrong.))

So, to summarize this: I read the Syndicate as being intentionally positioned as future antagonists, if not outright villains of a future arc. They are NOT a Government but their goals are contradictory with their means, and it is important to keep in mind that they plan to enforce their own brand of freedom on people who did not grant them either the authority or permission to do so.

So, uh. Can you tell I loved these streams? They were seriously so good. I kept switching between Ranboo and Techno's POV's trying to keep up with everything. I still have to watch Niki's!

All in all, I'm super, super excited for whats coming next, egg stuff, Syndicate stuff, Tommy stuff, all of it.

#dream smp #tubbo #the syndicate #c!techno critical #c!phil critical #dream smp analysis #lazytext

[blind-alchemists]

Meta-Analysis of the Rift Mage Specialization

I said in February I was going to do it, and it only took me seven months to follow through!

Anyway. Analyzing game-play elements for narratives purposes has become somewhat of a hobby of mine ever since I really got into GameLit. Then, I started "fangs" and felt that my fight scenes were boring, so I build ability trees reminiscent of DA:I's for my OCs. You know, as you do. During that process, though, the lack of banter acknowledging several choices struck me as odd. Especially regarding specializations. Especially when it comes to Solas'.

We’ll be taking a look at (in order)

1. Description

2. Codex Entry

3. Skills

a. in comparison to DA: II’s Primal & Force Mage

4. Specialization Dialogue with Solas

5. Conclusion

Disclaimer: I talk a lot (this post might have about 2.5k). And, I promise you, you'll be tired of seeing 'the Fade this' and 'the Veil that' at the end of it.

Description

“These mages draw upon the force of the Fade, either pulling matter from the Fade to attack or twisting the Veil itself into a weapon to stagger or crush their enemies.”

[source – DA wiki; bolding mine]

So, lore-wise, mages do ‘draw upon the Fade’. Sure. But do they ‘pull matter from the Fade’? Absolutely not.

Physical things and the Fade rarely mix well. Plus – this is mainly my theory – the way magic is utilized (the 'drawing upon the Fade part') requires it to pass through the Veil. Magic being a form of energy, and thus not physical, does not constitute to ‘pulling matter from the Fade’.

That's the first thing other mages (read: Dorian, Vivienne, possible the Inquisitor) should (or could) have referenced in banter/dialogue.

The rest of the sentence ('twisting the Veil into a weapon') is also highly interesting, since there is little known about the Veil. Nobody knows how it works. And, thus, nobody should be capable enough to manipulate it consistently enough to use it as a weapon. But considering it's Solas who gets this specialization - well. He knows the Veil well enough, don't you think? (Which is why I think Rift Mage should have been Solas' personal, individual specialization like Fenris' Lyrium Ghost, but I just really like personalized skill trees in general.)

However, having answered that question, connecting magic so closely to the very thing can be described as a “magical vibration that repels the Fade”, I'm curious about how it would work. Since, you know, mages are inevitably tied to the Fade. Wouldn't the Veil repel a try to manipulate it by a mage? Is using mana the same thing as drawing energy from the Fade? If so, it would be straight-up impossible to actually use such a method for any ordinary mage (read: not Solas). If mana can be used without the Fade, it would be possible, but is such a thing feasible? Can you switch between spells and Veil quickly enough without horrific consequences such as possibly tearing yourself apart?

Very interesting topic. Would love to go into it more, but at that point, I'd become subjective, so let's end it here.

To summarize: Rift mages do things (physically pulling things from the Fade plus using the Veil) normal mages don't do. There is also a chance, logically speaking, that no one else but Solas (or mage!Inquisitor) can accomplish such a feat without dying a horrific death.

Codex Entry

From "Power Bleeds: Harness the Flow." Your Trainer's words make one passage stand out:

There are no tomes dedicated to this manipulation. There has been no time for academics, only the practical—and not in a manner that mitigates risk. Power in a raw form has found an outlet, both visible and in ways that only we of arcane proclivity can sense. The risk is great.

An account:

From this page forward, these are the notes of Thelric. They began as the work of my mentor Julion, and I will continue in the research she began, as she cannot, because she is dead. The rift we were examining did not react well to her last investigation. We believed ourselves prepared for demonic manifestation. We were not prepared for how the energies we expected would be encountered. Well-versed in the forces that magic can produce, my senior was surprised by an alteration, a deviance. That which previously had to be coaxed is now a flood that must be staunched. The same amount in different intensity, quick to expose fault in the way it is accessed. She drew too much, expecting resistance. There was none, and her form suffered the brunt. Tread carefully in studies of new matters, for I cannot unsee the end of her.

Scattered symbols and sketches follow.

[source – DA wiki; bolding mine]

Apparently DA:I has a thing for hiding the true horror in Codex Entries and off-hand comments.

Here, we learn one key fact: The school of Rift Magic is relatively new ('no tomes dedicated to this manipulation'). I think it's safe to assume the possibility - and thus research concerning it - emerged around the time the Breach appeared. So it's new, people have no idea what they're doing, but it somehow works. A little like the whole time magic thing, funnily. (That brings me back to a lot of questions I have about the Veil: Just how powerful is it? Just how deeply is it intervened with Thedas?)

Reading further, the entry seems to (only) stress how dangerous Rift Magic is. Who would have thought! No, really, it's a fair point to empaphize. I'm not certain the Trainer and his previous teacher (or anyone else but Solas) know what kind of role the Veil plays in this, and so of course experiments are going to get ugly. The Veil holds a much greater importance than the people of Thedas realize.

And, in a very similar vein: The people of Thedas don't know much about directly interacting with the Fade through, say, a rift, which poses another risk. The wiki entry establishes two things in particular that are relevant here: Using spells (in the Fade itself) has unpredictable results, and one can draw unprecedented power from it while sleeping.

The codex entry cited above proves that. A rift is a direct connection to the Fade, and thus unpredictable ('She drew too much, expecting resistance. There was none') and that power is too much to handle ('her form suffered the brunt').

My theory is that, while a certain flunction is natural to the Fade, the Veil also plays a role here. Which I'm not sure. But it has one.

Personally, I wouldn't be sure the risks of a horrific death outweigh the benefits of power, but let's look more in depth at that!

Skills

Which brings me to the abilities themselves.

The first two you can choose from are Veilstrike and Stonefist. (Which I think should have had their names changed but, oh, well.)

Veilstrike: “You recreate your own fist from the essence of the Fade and smash nearby foes to the ground.” (Upgrades being Punched Down and Wounded Veil, but they don’t have anything interesting for this analysis. Note the names, though.)

Curious here is the 'recreate [...] from the essence of the Fade' part here. On first glance, it sounds like a rather ordinary spell, right? But it's not. That's just the 'hiding in plain sight for the first playthrough' aspect of Solas' character.

Mages do shape their spells with energy from the Fade (as far as my assumptions go). Maybe they can also recreate something. I'll give them that much. But the essence of the Fade - the inherit, unchanging nature of it - can't be manipulated by them. I think that's specifically a trait only Dreamers can have. (More evidence for my 'Rift Mage should have been Solas' personalized, individual specialization' hc!)

There is an argument to be made if this already constitutes for 'pulling matter from the Fade', but this isn't even the funkiest part yet.

Stonefist: “You summon a boulder from the Fade and smash it into your target, sending them flying.” (Upgrades being Shatterstone and Unblockable Force.)

'Summon a boulder from the Fade', you know, as in, bring physical matter from the Fade to the other side of the Veil. A thing that is pretty much unheard of. Remembers what happens to spirits when they pass violently through the Veil? There is an entire game dealing with that. (I mean, stones won't hopefully turn into demons, but my point is that bringing things through, usually, is not a wise idea.

Another thing someone could have commented on.

Passives: Restorative Veil, Encircling Veil, Smothering Veil, Twisting Veil.

Unfortunately, neither of these descriptions give me much, but they all have the ‘Veil’ component in their name, so that’s interesting.

Upon closer inspection, the Veil can function in a variety of ways: speeding up mana recovery, further weakening enemies, boosting your own damage. (Veilstrike being an example of a means of attack.)

Now, my question here would be: Do over mages notice changes in the Veil? Do they feel it shift and bend? If not, well, that's one thing. if they do, even subconsciously, I'd want banter. (I want a lot of banter, though. Just generally speaking.)

Pull of the Abyss: “You create a tiny rift that pulls enemies toward a central point.” (Upgrades being Shaken Veil and Devouring Veil.)

I can live with never hearing anything about everything else. Sure. But this one? This damned skill? You're telling me I read that the first time I played the game, nodded, and that was it?

'You can create a tiny rift-' I'm sorry, do you what now? After a good a couple of hours of learning just how bad rifts are?

And the upgrade names. Shaken Veil, Devouring Veil - is there anything this thing can't do, except for becoming more and more horrifying and giving me bad vibes ofr whatever DA4 will do with it?

Firestorm: “You summon flaming meteors, raining fire down upon enemies all over the area for the next several seconds. This ability consumes and is powered by focus.”

This one is ... honestly, I don't like it being here. It's an AOE skill, which does fit in with the rest, but it's fire and it seems rather randomly assigned compared to other focus abilities with a more personal note (Haste, Rampagne, Cloak of Shadows, Mark of the Rift).

Doesn't give a lot here to analyze, except that raining down flaming meteors is the level of (global) destruction I can see happening in the future if Solas isn't stopped. So. That's fun.

(It's the ultimate skill in the Fire/Ice tree in DA:II, or at least the ability there has the same name.)

DA: II Comparison

Nearing the end, I'll take a brief look at the Force Mage specialization from DA:II and the Primal base skill tree for mages. Both have some interesting similarities.

First, Primal.

Stonefist: “The mage hurls a stone projectile that strikes with massive force.”

It's only the name and the effect, honestly, but it is curious to see it in a skill tree that focuses exclusively on the elements earth and lightning. (Because Pride demons also use electricity ... yeah, yeah. I'm reading too much into this.)

Petrify: “The mage entombs an enemy in stone, leaving the foe temporarily unable to move. However, the target becomes more resistant to damage for the duration of the spell.”

This has nothing to do with Rift Mage, but in light of Trespasser, I'll just leave it here for your consideration. Petrifying people is neither new nor exclusive to Evanruis.

Now, onto Force Mage.

Fist of the Maker: “The mage slams enemies into the ground with incredible power, against which armor is no protection.”

The effect sounds like Stonefist (Primal) and Veilstrike.

Pull of the Abyss: “The mage conjures a maelstrom of energy that draws enemies to its center while slowing them to a crawl.”

This one is similar to the Rift Mage skill with the same name, so it might have served as an inspiration (or base).

Overall, though: nothing much to say here. Maybe I could talk more about Rift Mage being focused on crowd control, but that is probably for game-play balance. I could connect that to Solas' character and analyze every little thing to death. I'm not doing it, though.

Specialization Dialogue

Solas: You have begun practicing new magical forms. Interesting. You seem to be drawing upon the raw substance of the Fade, likely using your mark as a catalyst. I use similar techniques, although it took me years to learn that. Why did you choose such an esoteric area of study?

Inquisitor: (if chosen) I hoped that studying such magic would me help better understand the Fade.

Solas: While our fight affords little time for formal study, the wise can better themselves even in the midst of battle. Perhaps especially then. I hope your new studies serve you well.

[source]

Let’s go through this slowly.

‘You seem to be drawing upon the raw substance of the Fade-’ Alright, we’ve talked about that. Makes sense he’d comment on it. ‘likely using your mark as a catalyst’ Sorry? The Inquisitor is doing what? I’m not saying it’s not possible, I’m just saying it might not be an overly smart idea to use the Anchor in that way. Because it’s attached to the Inquisitor’s arm. And because the Inquisitor knows what happens if it snaps out of control. So, purposefully doing something that might cause you agonizing pain? Mh. Yeah. No, thanks.

Also. The 'drawing upon the raw substance of the Fade' part makes me think that the Anchor does give the Inquisitor Dreamer-like abilities. Forcefully, and possibly difficult to control, and the Inquisitor might not be aware of it, but. That would be an interesting aspect to explore.

‘I use similar techniques, although it took me years to learn that’. Well. Yeah. Mostly a sound response, except I’m not really sure it's true. Why does he say years? Because he didn’t go right to sleep after creating the Veil, or because he studied such methods theoretically beforehand? I doubt he refers to the time Inquisition spans, because it’s not that long, cannocially, (isn't it like ... a year? I forget what the devs said), but … I don’t know. It doesn't sit right with me. Solas never truly outright lies, so there is probably some merit in it.

‘Why did you choose such an esoteric area of study?’ That’s … an interesting way to ask. Sure, there is a very small group who has this specialized knowledge, but it feels a little like deflection.

The rest of the conversation doesn’t give much for me to analyze.

Conclusion

TL;DR: There should have been banter. Or Rift Mage should have been a personalized, individual specialization.

Pull of the Abyss is the funkiest skill in the entire game, from a meta-perspective, because tearing a hole into the Veil is the opposite of what the Inquisitor is trying to do.

There are also many more questions than answer to take away from this regarding the Veil and the Fade and how Solas manages not to blow his cover, but I believe there are theories about at least the two former points out there.

I thank you very much for bearing with me for this long!

#dragon age #dragon age meta #meta #rift mage #solas #analysis #rift mage specialization #skill tree #ability tree #analyzing game-play-elements for narrative purposes #long post #even for my standards

[yostresswritinggirl]

Scholars’ Chit Chat Prologue Submission

XXX

Cyno x Reader (Platonic, possibly romantic in the future)

*Lore dump warning

*Spoilers for all the Archon Quests and speculations of Teyvat

*Really it’s all serious talk

XXX

This is basically how you and Cyno met

XXX

The libraries of Sumeru are quiet, like how they’re suppose to be.

It is a new semester after all, the freshmen are still getting a grasp of the large campus, though Cyno does guess that soon enough they will be awed of this place.

Walking among the tall shelves, he tries to locate the section he had been researching on, but a voice calls out to him, breaking his concentration.

“Hey, you ever thought of why were you given a Vision?”

He turns to the source of the voice, only to see you there, sitting on top of one of the book shelves as your legs dangled from it.

“I would say that it is a question worth discovering with my entire life.”

“Huh, to think that you would answer so naturally… Wouldn’t one first ask who I am or ask why would I want to know that?”

“Because, first, I know who you are and second, those who come to this place seek knowledge.”

“Oh, so I had become the talk of school despite me being here for the first day?”

“Indeed, you were known as one who had declared to not take part in any sort of Mysticism studies yet aim to unveil the mysteries of this world. They called you naive yet you had earned the highest scholarship obtainable. It’s kind of hard to not let such news spread out.”

“Well, there are certainly advantages and disadvantages with this commotion, but that’s not my main focus anyways.”

“And may I ask what that would be?”

“To search for answers to fulfil my contract with the God of Wisdom.”

“Contract?”he questions, not capable of following your conversation, you slyly smiled at this.

“Unfortunately, this upcoming topic requires a fee to unlock~ I don’t mind sharing my findings to others, but when it comes to something as rare as words from an archon….”

“You get the idea, a price is required for everything after all.”

“…”

Cyno stared at you as if you were pulling his leg, but his reaction made you smirk even more.

“Oh, I won’t be asking for much, something like… Your name, perhaps?”

Suddenly realising that he hadn’t introduced himself yet and was reminded in such a playful matter, Cyno couldn’t help but let out an embarrassed chuckle.

“My apologies, I forgot to introduce myself. I’m Cyno, a pleasure to meet you.”

“Hmm… You know that one’s name is important, right? Names hold power, not necessary the one given by your parents but the one that defines your soul. There are quite a few stories mentioning that giving your name to someone is the same as giving a part of their soul to them.”

The male however lets out a laugh at your advice.

“Thanks for the warning, I’ll keep that on mind.”

“It was nothing, and to the end of my bargain, yes…’ you began as you jumped off the shelf, landing right in front of him. “Well, it’s more like a bet than a contract if I’m being honest.”

“Which is?”

“To find out the truth behind Khaen-riah’s fall, or more specifically, the reason behind the alchemist Gold’s fall, before I graduate.”

“?!”

The kingdom that had technology and Mysticism developed greatly even without an archon, then was destroyed five hundred years ago.

Not much is known about Khaen-riah, and yet...

Cyno, was shocked, no, shocked isn’t enough to describe how he’s feeling.

“That’s... nearly impossible, isn’t it? Just what sort of offer did he gave you to tip the scales-”

“If I succeeded, he would answer me anything I want to know about.”

“A-Anything?”

“That’s right~”

...

“What happens... If you fail?”

Everything comes with a price, as you had said.

“Then my life would be in his hands, for him to decide my fate.”

Despite only knowing you for not long, Cyno cannot believe what you had risked.

“Are you out of your mind?! What would you possibly want to know that you’re willing to-”

“To understand the laws of this world.” You answered one a simple matter.

“It has been so long that the human race had been existing and yet none of us came close in finding the truth of the world...”

“Or perhaps someone did, and they failed to tell anyone?”

“Even Khaen-riah itself is advance with Alchemy, history tells us that their greatest alchemist Gold fell and became quite a threat... But why...?”

“...”

“What I’m trying to say is that we’re too trusting towards the gods cause we’re told to do so since we were born, you know what I had learnt after being tricked once? Doubt everything when you first see it, question it’s existence and see if you can use another point of view to perceive it.”

“Why do you doubt the gods?”

“That’s because I believe in humanity’s wisdom. I believe that even without the gods, humanity can still take care of themselves as fine.”

“If you need to rely on someone else in order to live, then what’s the meaning of living in the first place?”

“This is... quite a lot...” Cyno mumbled.

“It is a lot to take in, I agree.” You nodded as you leaned against a shelf.

“Our senior Lisa left this place after mere two years and went to Mondstadt to be a librarian despite her being a genius the Academia hasn’t seen for 200 years... Is it because she saw something that nobody else realised?”

“So what you’re saying is... There’s more to the bigger picture?” Cyno guessed as you snapped your fingers. “Bingo.”

“But that being said, questioning the gods is the same thing as raging treason against this world... “ Cyno pointed out with worry. “Are you sure this is what you want?”

“Indeed, *I’m trying to understand the rules of this chess game, so that humanity, the supposed audience of this game gets the chance to participate in it.”

“And if we can win this chess game or not, is entirely up to our legacy...”

“You have too much belief in humanity... Or should I say you have no intention of losing in the first place?”Cyno predicted with a sigh.

“Hm, seeing that you’re being so interested in our bet, perhaps you would like to become my partner in crime?”

Hearing this, Cyno finally realised that he was tricked at the point when he answered your question about his Vision.

“So that was what you were going after for all along, huh?”

“Haha, yup~ I mean, our archon didn’t state anything about not able to team up with others, so why not?”

“Able to ask anything from the God of Wisdom himself, what else more can a scholar wish for?”

Cyno understand that your words are trying to lure him, but in truth, who can give up this opportunity?

“I mean, even if we fail, I’m the only one who would lose anything so it really sounds like a pretty good deal to me~”

“And would you mind me asking for a warrant from you for the time I would be spending on this?”Cyno requested, surprising you for a bit.

“Well, how about my name? You’ve heard about me but haven’t known that yet, correct? With a part of our souls in each other’s hands, no one can run off easily, don’t you think so?”

“Alright I accept the of your con-”

“It’s a promise, not a contract.”

Cyno pauses at your sudden seriousness, he then takes notice of the frown on your face.

“...”

“You want this partnership to be built on trust and not just a piece of paper?” He guessed.

You softly nodded, trying not to meet him in the eyes.

But there’s no way that he would accept that, you two only just met after all-

“Then I promise, that I will be your partner in crime upon this bet against the Dendro Archon.”

Wha-?!

Cyno offers you a small smile. “Everyone has their own reasons, I too wish that I can understand you better within these few years... That is if you wish, of course.”

I’m glad.

“Yeah, likewise, Cyno.”

“I also by offering my name, promise that we will find out the laws of this world and allow humanity to earn the chance to be a part of this chess game.”

“My name is-“

XXX

*The chess game is referencing The Feynman Lectures on Physics, it is also referenced from Honkai Impact 3rd (another game of MiHoYo) Honkai Quest event by the character Delta, it is possible that it works as well for the world of Teyvat.

(One way that's kind of a fun analogy to try to get some idea of what we're doing here to try to understand nature is to imagine that the gods are playing some great game like chess. Let's say a chess game. And you don't know the rules of the game, but you're allowed to look at the board from time to time, in a little corner, perhaps. And from these observations, you try to figure out what the rules are of the game, what [are] the rules of the pieces moving.

You might discover after a bit, for example, that when there's only one bishop around on the board, that the bishop maintains its color. Later on you might discover the law for the bishop is that it moves on a diagonal, which would explain the law that you understood before, that it maintains its color. And that would be analogous we discover one law and later find a deeper understanding of it.

Ah, then things can happen--everything's going good, you've got all the laws, it looks very good--and then all of a sudden some strange phenomenon occurs in some corner, so you begin to investigate that, to look for it. It's castling--something you didn't expect.)

And welp, Exiled, mind me adding this?

-To their future child(ren)

And this is how your parents met//slap

With the Gnosis shaped as chess pieces and with MiHoYo’s other games referencing this...

Well theories will be theories until they’re truly revealed.

Until then Snowdrop’s gonna freak out on what the heck I just wrote

There will be continuations... Just please don’t look forward to it... OwO

Oh I do NOT mind AT ALL, Snowdrop. CONTINUE. This series looks so freakin cool and refreshing even!

#exiled community #genshin impact x reader #Cyno x reader #Snowdrop anon #exile.flower #exile.pocketwatch #Good shit #gender neutral #submission

[makeste]

What are your favorite hero names?

oh man there are so many. I had to limit myself to a top twenty, and even that was rough. anyway so first off, a few runner ups because I couldn’t go without mentioning these:

Vlad King - to be clear, this isn’t actually one of my top hero names. but I’m mentioning it here because back when I was first reading the series, one of the fan scanlations -- either Fallen Angels or Mangastream, I forget which -- had originally translated his hero name as Brad King. which, to be frank, would have been one of the greatest hero names of ALL TIME. you can’t imagine my disappointment when I finally learned the truth. it still haunts me to this day.

Jack Mantis - this is Kamakiri (a.k.a. the guy from class 1-B who can grow knives out of his body)’s hero name. my question is, why the Jack. the mantis part, I get! that’s fairly obvious! but the “Jack” is forever a mystery to me. it just adds this little layer of intrigue.

Mr. Brave - this guy is one of the few good things to come from the Basement arc. don’t get me wrong, he is completely useless. but his name? absolutely legendary. this guy, with his power of ripping his own hair out and turning it into a sword (yes that’s his quirk), an ability that could be easily duplicated or bested by literally any jackass who just went out and bought their own damn sword, really thought to himself, “I am going to be the BEST MCFUCKING HERO THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN. I AM GOING TO NAME MYSELF... MISTER BRAVE.” and they let him, you guys. they let him.

anyway so now for the top twenty!

20. Can’t Stop Twinkling - this isn’t a name so much as it is poetry in three words. I still cannot believe that Aoyama went up to Midnight with a hero name that sounds more like the world’s greatest Dear Abby letter, and she actually let him keep it. I’m not 100% clear on how this all works, but I like to think this means that Aoyama’s fellow heroes have an actual legal obligation to call him this in battle. I don’t think we as a fandom and as a people really take enough time out of our lives to stop and be grateful for Aoyama’s existence.

19. Uravity - it’s a pun!! it’s so cute and I love it!! and it’s such a perfect name in that it just instantly sums up and defines her whole brand, bringing to mind both Ochako the person and Zero Gravity the quirk. honestly she is one of only a few kids whose hero name I never space out on. with a lot of the others I usually have to pause for a sec and be like “wait, what was their name again?” but never Ochako.

18. Present Mic - this would make a really great band name honestly. I just like it. I’m pretty sure Horikoshi was going for “present” as in the verb meaning “to perform”, like in “presentation”, but to tell the truth I always pronounce it like “present” as in “gift” or “the present time”, which doesn’t make any sense at all, but IT’S JUST WHAT MY BRAIN DECIDED TO DO. anyway.

17. Tsukuyomi - I know this name has its origins in Japanese mythology, but to be completely honest I’ve always just associated it with Itachi’s infamous genjutsu attack from Naruto. I just think it’s the gothest thing ever and absolutely perfect for Tokoyami lol.

16. All Might - there’s just something about this name that kind of makes me just want to pump my fists and go “YEAH!!” I really like the use of “might” as a noun rather than “mighty” as an adjective like you see in so many classic superhero names. it’s just so much cooler somehow. this name really does conjure up the image of the strongest guy in the universe.

15. Midnight - honestly I’m almost mad that this wound up being a hero name, because it would have made a perfect villain name. it’s dark and mysterious and sexy. it’s no wonder why Midnight chose it lol. anyway so my girl is a bit kinky, nothing wrong with that, and it’s also a perfect name for someone whose quirk puts other people to sleep. it’s just such spot-on branding, I love it.

14. Ingenium - fun fact, I had no idea what this meant when I first came across it because I don’t speak Latin! apparently it means “genius” or “talent.” which is a very good meaning for a hero name! but honestly the real reason I love it so much is because it’s Iida’s tribute to his brother, and I am just such a sucker for that kind of shit. damn you Iida siblings. quit giving me all these feels.

13. Shouto – yes, seriously. I know a lot of people hate this name, and it’s always getting flak for being bland and uncreative. but I honestly think it’s a perfect name for Shouto. firstly because Shouto himself is very much the opposite of flashy in a lot of ways. he’s not particularly animated or attention-seeking; he is a very calm, sort of still-waters-run-deep person, and I think the lack of a snappy brand name fits that personality. I’m even more delighted that it hasn’t remotely curbed his popularity at all (at this point I think the only kid hero with more in-universe fans out there is Momo, and even then it’s probably a close thing), and I think a big part of that is that people are drawn to his unpretentious nature, especially in comparison to a lot of the other heroes out there. but most of all, I like the name because of the simple yet powerful way it serves as a declaration that he is his own person. he’s not his father, and he’s more than just a Todoroki. he is himself; he is Shouto. anyway so yeah, to me this is a fantastic name with so much depth and meaning.

12. Battle Fist - this is Kendou’s hero name AND IT’S PERFECT. like, holy shit. what should we call the girl who goes around punching bad guys around all day with her giant hands. how about BATTLE FIST. there really isn’t much more to say about this one, honestly. its greatness speaks for itself.

11. Vantablack - imagine being such an enormous douchebag that word of your douchey exploits made it all the way over to some guy in Japan who spends 95% of his waking hours writing a manga and has almost no free time. fun fact, although Anish Kapoor is the only one licensed to use the color Vantablack, the name Vantablack is still owned by Surrey NanoSystems (a.k.a. the guys who actually invented it), and so I’m pretty sure they’re the ones who decide whether or not someone else gets to use it. I wonder if Kapoor is pissed about his color being referenced in a popular shounen manga. anyways, all of that speculation aside, it really is the perfect name for someone with Kuroiro’s quirk.

10. Endeavor - look, say what you will about Endeavor the person (although I’m personally a big fan of the way his redemption arc is being done and think he’s a fascinating character, albeit a very flawed one), but there’s no denying that Endeavor is a badass name. but what’s really great about it is how it so perfectly captures the admirable part of Endeavor, the one thing about him that’s actually worth praising. he never gives up. he’s always pushing, striving, struggling forward no matter how hopeless it seems. and that’s a worthy trait, and it says something about him that this is what he chose for his hero name. a name that has nothing to do with fire, nothing to do with his quirk, nothing even to do with his goal of becoming #1. it’s simply a name that means to make an effort; to try and achieve something. and I like that.

9. Sugarman - this IMO is easily the most overlooked and severely underrated hero name in the series. it’s a hidden gem. everyone always forgets about Satou just because his power of being a Strong Punching Guy doesn’t particularly stand out in a manga chock full of strong punching guys. but he is a badass and a great character, and honestly “eating candy makes me super strong” is possibly the single greatest quirk in the history of time and I am jealous. anyway, so this is a really straightforward name, but it’s really smooth and catchy somehow and so it’s one of my favorites.

8. Gale Force - this is Inasa’s hero name! it’s another one which is criminally underrated, much like Inasa himself. airbender powers are just so badass you guys. wind is so badass. this name is all hurricaney and tempesty and super cool and powerful-sounding. this is one of those names that I’m honestly surprised wasn’t already a mainstream superhero name. Marvel was all “nah, we’ll just go with ‘Storm’”, like come on you guys where is the creativity.

7. Red Riot - this name is a fucking grand slam. it’s alliterative! it’s catchy! it’s got the word “riot” in it! it’s an absolutely perfect name for a passionate guy whose quirk lends itself towards good old fashioned brawlin’ and head bashing. the fact that it’s got additional meaning as a tribute towards Kiri’s own personal hero is just the icing on the cake. this is another name that Marvel probably legit wishes they had thought of first. it’s easily the best hero name out of everyone in class 1-A imo.

6. Sir Nighteye - hilariously for the longest time it was not confirmed whether or not Nighteye actually had a real name (he does! but I’ve forgotten it lol), and so there was this lingering question, absurd as it was, of whether or not Nighteye’s parents, whoever they are, were descendants of some proud Nighteye clan, and whether they had really, actually named their child “Sir.” anyways though, I love this name. it’s super cool and mysterious and perfect for someone with future-seeing powers, and the “Sir” just makes even awesomer because it implies that the Queen really liked him or something.

5. Mt. Lady - this name is a stroke of genius. supersize-me powers are a dime a dozen, but the characters always have names like Giant Man or Giganta or Goliath. as far as I know, no other superhero characters have ever thought to name themselves after mountains, let alone to name themselves as if they WERE a mountain. like, she isn’t “mountain lady”; she’s “MOUNT Lady”, as if she were an actual tectonic peak. it really bothers me that I can’t adequately describe in words why I love this so much. I just do!! I think she should get an award.

4. Suneater - Tamaki is out here proving to everyone that your hero name doesn’t need to have jack shit fuckall to do with your actual quirk in order to be completely badass and iconic. sometimes I wonder what Tamaki does when people ask him “out of curiosity, why did you pick that name?”, which someone surely must have done at some point. he probably turns beet red and tries to dissolve into the background. but anyway, the general public does not need to know the meaning of his hero name in order for it to have meaning; we know what the meaning is, and that it’s his way of saying “I believe in myself because my friend believes in me”, and honestly that’s all that matters. I am still of the opinion that certain other people whose childhood friends held a lot of unwavering belief in and admiration towards them could do worse than going down this same hero name route, but we will see! anyways Suneater deserves all your respect.

3. Best Jeanist - I had so much love for this name from the start, and then I found out it was a real, actual award. for people who make good jeans, or are good at wearing jeans, or something. it’s run by the Japan Jeans Council, which is also a real and actual thing. but anyway, despite it not being as wholly original of a name as I thought, it’s still iconic, and I love that he went with something that was recognizable while still fitting his quirk, and which has the added implication that he is the motherfucking best, because he is. also, given that he probably chose this name while he was still in school, and that only public figures generally seem to be eligible for the award, this implies that he chose the name Best Jeanist first, and then went on to win the actual award eight years running. presumably because the JJC got very flustered and were all, “IT’S LITERALLY HIS NAME... WE HAVE TO GIVE IT TO HIM... WE HAVE TO”, and so they did. anyway so that was a goddamn power move on his part.

2. Gang Orca - first of all, if you are an orca man, then naming yourself after orcas is a pretty apt thing to do and I have to respect that. but then along comes the “gang” part, out of absolutely NOWHERE, and it absolutely SMASHES. like, this name comes up to you and it slaps you in the face. GANG ORCA. HE’S A BIG AGGRESSIVE DOLPHIN MAN AND HE’S NOT HERE TO FUCK AROUND. IS HE ACTUALLY IN A GANG?? WE DON’T KNOW. BUT HERE HE IS, READY TO YEET YOUR DELINQUENTS AND HUNT YOUR MOTHERFUCKING SEALS. this name fucks so hard it came within inches of the number one spot. he is a ruffian and a champ.

1. Eraserhead - last but not least, the guy who DIDN’T EVEN PICK HIS OWN NAME. his best friend had to do it for him, and out of love, came up with the SINGLE BEST HERO ALIAS IN THE HISTORY OF MANKIND. first of all, this name sounds like a very funky and electronicy Thom Yorke song. second, it conjures up the image of a man with a big no. 2 pencil head, which could not possibly be further from the truth. it’s just so whiplashy in the best way possible. third, the very existence of this name is seriously a goddamn miracle. he could have been “Power-Stopping Man.” or “Sleeping Bag Man.” or “Scruffy Hero: Tired Man.” or just “Shouta”, but unlike Shouto there wouldn’t have been any actual meaning to it; it would have simply been a case of him not giving the slightest of fucks about coming up with a real name. but rather than any of these, thanks to the power of friendship we were blessed with the greatest hero name in recorded memory. this is one of the few kindnesses fate has ever bestowed upon Aizawa Shouta in his tragic, exhausting life, and I for one am eternally grateful.

anyway so that’s my list! sorry if I left out anyone’s favorites! but I think all of these are deserving of love. also if you want to see the single best thing Japan has ever come up with, please go visit best-jeans.com. they even have an instagram lulz.

#bnha #boku no hero academia #bnha meta #bnha top ten #bnha rankings #aizawa shouta #gang orca #best jeanist #amajiki tamaki #mt. lady #lots of other people #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #asks #anon asks #lol you guys I had two 'what are your favorite...' asks and wrote this one up first #and then went and posted it under THE WRONG ASK lmao #so I had to go and delete it #I'm so sorry to the person who asked me about favorite quirks #I did screencap the ask and I will do that one next

[untamed-era]

Come Out and Level Up, Part 2

(part 1) (EDIT: link now leads to both halves of part 1)  (EDIT 2: AO3 Link) 

Wei Ying does not look pleased with the situation. This is unexpected. Lan Wangji remembers finding proper labels as a deep relief, a sense that other people matched his experience. Wei Ying, on the other hand, comes and sits down, staring at his phone again, looking dejected.

Lan Wangji waits.

“I’m. I guess it’s good I know this, right? Let me make better choices, going forward. It’s good to. It’s good to understand, why I never particularly wanted to date anyone that asked me out. That’s good.”

He is trying to talk himself into the idea. Lan Wangji continues waiting.

“I just —“ He looks up, suddenly, meeting Lan Wangji’s eyes. “Lan Zhan, I really did want to get married.” He sounds forlorn, lost. “I mean. You remember, I talked about inviting you to a farm, someday? And like.” He shifts, uncomfortably, curling his arms around himself. Lan Wangji wants to hug him, comfort him. He does not know how. “I never pictured a wife, but I don’t… I don’t want to be alone.”

Lan Wangji remembers the fantasy Wei Ying had described. It had been so casually referenced, the idea of a little farm and lots of children running around and food cooking inside. It’s featured heavily in his own fantasies, since, when he allows himself to forget that he was invited only as an interloper.

“Action does not equal attraction,” he tells Wei Ying, quietly. “You may yet find a… wife. If you want. If they are happy with the arrangement.”

“Maybe. But like, how do you know when you’ve found someone you’d be willing to spend your life with, if you don’t have the whole true love thing to work with? I mean, you were the only specific person I ever put anywhere near that whole dream. I can’t think of anyone I know who’d be… who’d fit…” He trails off, thinking.

Lan Wangji looks away, breathing through the emotional turmoil of that. He knows Wei Ying doesn’t mean it like Lan Wangji wishes he did. He’s as good as saying he can’t picture Lan Wangji there all the time, can’t see him as a true life partner of any sort. Lan Wangji will respect that. Of course he will. None of this is about him.

“How did you even figure all this out?” Wei Ying asks, suddenly, and Lan Wangji flinches. Wei Ying plows ahead without noticing. “I mean, there’s so many terms here, and I don’t know — maybe I’m just overthinking everything! I like thinking about sex, I like the idea of kissing! But apparently not like everyone else does? How did you ever sort all this out?”

It was the best words for how I felt about you, Lan Wangji thinks but does not say. It was the only way to make sense of the intensity and specificity of his feelings. How can he help, when Wei Ying’s problem is not knowing, instead of knowing too much?

“I mean,” Wei Ying continues, not waiting for any sort of response, “I mean, like, sure I’ve contemplated kissing people in the past. Specific people, even! I mean, I’ve thought about kissing you, who hasn’t, obviously, that’s just… That’s just part of friendship, isn’t it?”

Lan Wangji stares. All of his deep, meditative thoughts are crumpling around him. He cannot feel any part of his body. He cannot interpret any of this. If he tries, he may actually explode.

“Oooookay you’re looking at me weirdly,” Wei Ying says from very far away and also about two feet from Lan Wangji’s face. It should be farther. It should be much less. How can he cope with any of this. “So what you’re saying is that imagining kissing isn’t a normal part of any close friendship.”

How is Lan Wangji supposed to answer that? It’s certainly a normal part of his closest friendships. Friendship. Singular.

Wei Ying laughs, high and strained. “I don’t suppose we can just forget about what I just said, move back to. Uh. Some other topic? Um.”

Lan Wangji physically cannot. He thinks his entire brain has rewired itself to play “I’ve thought about kissing you” on repeat. He cannot think of anything else well enough to respond. He cannot muster the strength to echo it.

“Maybe I should just. Just go? Sorry, I know I made things weird, I wouldn’t blame—“

“Don’t,” Lan Wangji says. It’s spoken from his instincts, the ones that never want Wei Ying to leave, the ones that he overrules when he has any brainpower left over for them.

“Uh. Okay, Lan Zhan.” He looks nervous, Lan Wangji notes. He should say something to reassure Wei Ying. That sounds good.

“You’ve thought about kissing me,” he says instead. Hmm.

Wei Ying avoids his eyes, rubbing the back of his neck. “Yeah? I… I didn’t think that was a big deal but. I’m also kind of thinking of… a lot of other. Things. I’ve thought about and. Oh, I don’t know. They’re my problem, I guess. I already made things weird enough.”

“What things,” he says.

Wei Ying looks at him, eyes wide.

Lan Wangji struggles to gather his words. “I want. To hear. Your thoughts.” His hands are curled into fists so tightly they hurt. “Always,” he adds.

“Lan Zhan, no, I’ve already made you uncomfortable enough, I wouldn’t want to —“

“I am not uncomfortable.” He hesitates, and self-evaluates. “Or. That is not my primary emotion.”

“Confused you, then.”

And he can’t quite dispute that one. He is confused. He is dumbfounded, and… It takes a long moment to sort through everything else and identify the most prominent emotion.

“Yes,” he says, finally. “But I am also hopeful.”

That finally leaves Wei Ying speechless. It is nice to turn the tables again. He waits, in silence.

“What the fuck, Lan Zhan,” he finally says, weakly. “What the fuck do you have to be hopeful about.”

“You asked about how I figured my identity out.” Lan Wangji says. He can see the shape of the conversation again, he thinks. He does not know the end, but he is hopeful.

“We’re well past that!” Wei Ying says. “That was before I — before — Before —“

“I found the terms,” Lan Wangji says, ploughing ahead heedlessly, “because they best described how much I wanted to kiss you, Wei Ying.”

He has flabbergasted Wei Ying again. He savors it, watching Wei Ying blink and gape and wave one hand wildly. Finally, Wei Ying opens his mouth, and quietly says “Wanted? Past tense?”

“Want,” he admits. It comes easily, in spite of everything. Years of hidden pining, all leading to this one needle-point admission.

Wei Ying stares at him. It’s easy to meet his eyes.

He’s scared, of course he’s scared. He’s on tenterhooks, waiting for the response. But he has had no hope, no reason to say anything, sometimes not even a chance — and now he has them all.

“What the fuck,” Wei Ying finally says, “is this conversation.”

Lan Wangji inclines his head in agreement.

“I mean seriously, what the fuck. I mean this started with me mentioning a gay person at work and now you’re… we’re…. I’m….” He shies away from saying what, exactly, any of these pronouns are doing, which Lan Wangji thinks is deeply unfortunate. He, himself, has been uncomfortably vulnerable multiple times and Wei Ying has mostly just floundered at him. In fairness, he himself had a complicated process of coming to terms with his sexuality and would not have been balanced or coherent about it in the first ten minutes of questioning. He can and will be patient with this. In the part of him that does not care about fairness it rankles, that he spent the last ten years slowly making peace with his identity and here Wei Ying is with the exact same internalized heteronormativity that characterized middle school.

“So, but. You want to kiss me, though.”

Lan Wangji had been very clear on that, he thought. “Mn.”

“Why, though. I mean just… Why?”

Lan Wangji stares at Wei Ying, the love of his life, his best friend, the smartest person he knows, for a good long minute. “Because I am attracted to you. Romantically and sexually.”

They stare at each other for another long moment, Wei Ying’s mouth hanging open. “What the fuck, Lan Zhan,” he says, finally, weakly.

If he were someone else, he could, perhaps, rhapsodize about Wei Ying’s sterling qualities, the foundation of his attraction. He certainly has the material, but lacks the skill to shape it into something convincing. “I do not wish to make you uncomfortable,” he says.

“Uncomfortable? Uncomfortable? I’m not uncomfortable, Lan Zhan, I’m just baffled. I mean, you’re you! Who wouldn’t want to hear this stuff from you! How am I supposed to deal with this! How am I supposed to figure out — wait hang on I’m calling Jiang Cheng.”

Lan Wangji blinks. He did not anticipate Wei Ying’s irritating brother being part of any of these confessions. To borrow a phrase from Wei Ying, what the fuck is this conversation.

“Jiang Cheng? Hi, Jiang Cheng, hey, quick question: how much do you think about kissing your male friends.”

The faint but irate voice of Jiang Cheng says “What the fuck, Wei Ying.”

“No, this is important. Do you think about kissing your friends? How often are you hanging out with like, other men, and just start thinking about kissing them. Like just occasionally, or.”

“Never! I never think about that! Why would I?”

“So like. If one of them — let’s say Lan Zhan — offered to kiss you. Would you want to?”

A silence. “Why the fuck would I want to kiss Lan Wangji,” Jiang Cheng says. Lan Wangji thinks maybe he should be offended, except that it is an exact mirror of his feelings toward Jiang Cheng. Besides, Wei Ying is making a very endearing offended face on his behalf.

“Why wouldn’t you want to kiss Lan Zhan — wait I just realized I could be doing that instead of arguing with you so I guess live on in your delusion.”

“What the fuck, Wei Ying! Don’t you dare go harassing —“

The line cuts off before Jiang Cheng can finish his threat. Fortunately, Lan Wangji cannot find it in himself to give one singular fuck about his opinion right now. He stares at Wei Ying, who looks, suddenly, nervous. He licks his lips, and Lan Wangji stares more. “Uh,” he says, finally. “I still don’t. Exactly. Know where I stand on most of this? Like I’m pretty sure I want to, uh, experiment with, with everything, ‘cause suddenly I have a ton of questions, but mostly I think it’s frankly very rude that you aren’t already kissing me, what’s up with that, Lan Zhan —“

Lan Wangji’s tattered patience abruptly snaps, and he is pulling Wei Ying’s face to his before the other can finish talking. After all, he was not raised to be rude.

#lan wangji #wei wuxian #ace headcanons #wangxian #mdzs fic #this took much longer than i expected #but here it is

[ashintheairlikesnow]

hi ash! i know you said before that you're not autistic you just did a lot of research to depict chris realistically- do you have any advice for finding resources on writing disabled characters that isn't like... horribly abelist? im writing someone with an intellectual disability from head trauma and who is nonverbal, and i want to get it right but everything online seems very autism-speaks-y. im autistic and semiverbal but i dont have an id and i want to be realistic and respectful.

I cannot speak with any expertise or sense of speaking from enough experience to be taken as an expert here, and defer as always to those with lived experience with intellectual disability!

But I will give a few more general tips for what to do when looking to write a character with a neurological makeup that doesn’t match your own, as far as what has worked for me with Chris:

1. The story should never be ABOUT their lived experience if you do not also have it. Chris’s story is not about autism, or being autistic. I would never presume to try and write a story like that because, whatever my intentions, I don’t have that knowledge that comes from living it. I would at BEST be taking the experiences of others, their voices. At worst, I would be someone standing with a megaphone shouting over those who deserve to be heard.

Making the disability what the plot revolves around is... generally just not going to be a good idea, in any sense. It’s moments like this where I feel like it’s best to defer to the writers who have lived it, instead. 

This is not to say “never write someone different than yourself”, because... I don’t think that’s at all good advice. I think that way lies stunted writers who never push themselves. But it does mean “do not center the story on this thing if you have not experienced it and don’t have that knowledge and understanding”.

2. At the same time, don’t try to be coy or dance around or hide the disability behind purple prose or refuse to acknowledge its reality. Trying to make a disability sound cute, or talk around it instead of speaking it out loud, can be minimizing or shaming in ways that I think it’s easy to miss, if you don’t live with that disability yourself! To me, this touches on one of my hugest pet peeves - characters who are written as having a particular neurodivergence in media, or shown on tv, but they never expressly admit to it or name it. 

I know I hesitated with Chris, more because I didn’t feel comfortable giving him a diagnosis until I understood autism better myself, and I do regret how long it took me to embrace that reality about him. I just thought it better to err on the side of researching before I embraced. But I do feel some guilt about waiting so long when I had readers who were identifying so heavily with him, and I kind of knew, but just didn’t feel comfortable owning it yet.

3. On a related note - disabilities in a story that become melodramatic tragedy or turn the disabled character into a ‘redemption story’ for an abled character. This is so, so prevalent in common media and pop culture and once you recognize it for what it is, it’s so hard to not see it in so many places. Think of how many movies, novels, etc contain a disabled character who exists to teach abled people some virtuous lesson about living life to the fullest or ‘what it really means to be human’ blah blah blah blah blah. Don’t do that. Please. (I mean, I kind of feel like you definitely won’t, but I’m just speaking very generally here). If you find the story going in a direction in which abled people learn something from the disabled person, please think very carefully and critically as to why the story is heading in that direction.

Language alone can also be a problem here - think about the difference between openly describing a character moving around their life with a wheelchair vs. calling them “wheelchair-bound” or “reliant on a cane”, when the cane or wheelchair may actually represent freedom to that person - an aid they need, yes, but one that allows them to live with far more agency than they might have had otherwise. 

To describe them, especially from their own POV, as “wheelchair-bound”, may ring false to disabled people who understand that the wheelchair isn’t a cage, but a tool that allows that individual person to feel less caged by being able to more freely leave home.  

(This varies person to person, just providing an example)

4. Educate. Research. And don’t just do so by asking people with disabilities to tell you their stories. I often express gratitude to the autistic readers, those with ADHD, etc who spoke up about Chris, talked about their own experiences, identified with him, found him very resonating for aspects of their own lives. 

These stories, this information, this sharing of their lives was given freely to me, and I’m fucking amazed and grateful for how welcomed Chris was, and how willing readers were to share about themselves when talking about him.

Their willingness to speak about these things is something I treasure. But I absolutely would never believe that a single person owed me the story of their life to make sure I got Chris right. That was my responsibility, you know? I try to keep in mind the concept of ‘emotional labor’. Asking a disabled person to be your resource is asking them to give, and give, and give of themself. They may want to give you that kind of labor, they may not. But I definitely wouldn’t ask it of anyone without understanding it was something they were happy or felt comfortable giving.

Research, on the other hand, is essential. You mentioned things being “autism speaks-y” when trying to research on your own, and oh god, do I feel you. It sucks that autism speaks is the first thing to pop up when trying to research the lives of autistic people - and in my research, I was lucky to already know AS sucks and write them off and anyone who heavily referenced them as not helpful. I can see how someone might not know that, though, and stumble on them and believe they were a helpful resource for writing autism when they... well. Nope. 

Try to think about the express disability you are writing for this person, and why, and then go research! I looked up “books on autism recommended by autistic people”, and found some invaluable books, yes, but also papers published online, websites, etc! Each of them vetted and looked over and recommended by autistic people, so I knew I was getting information that came from people with those experiences and that understanding. A good example - I picked up a book on the history of diagnosis and treatment of autism in the United States, mentioned it here, and @redwingedwhump recommended a book called Neurotribes... which turned out to be immensely more helpful, spot-on, and provided some really excellent foundational information I wouldn’t have found in the first book at all.

There’s a lot of information out there on Traumatic Brain Injuries and their lasting effects on individuals who receive them, so I would start there. What you’re describing sounds like a TBI with lasting effects! So I would start your research there, and also look up being nonverbal separately, as well as combining the two. Make sure you’re not just looking at the top links - often paid ads or problematic organizations that are able to pay more for better exposure - but also scanning for blogs, nonprofits, lived-experiences stories, too.

I found a lot of information on the second or even third page of results i would never have seen if I only stuck to the first. Remember the algorithm on search engines is usually showing you what other people are clicking on, not necessarily the best source.

5. This is one you the asker already know, but I want to include it for general reasons: do not ‘dumb down’ the thought processes of a nonverbal or semi-verbal person. I see this in fiction surprisingly often, and I think it’s this sense we have as abled people (’we’ just meaning I’m including myself) that being verbal is required to have a highly complex thought process, and it’s... it’s just fucking not. Speech and though are related but not completely wound around each other, and the ability to verbalize is not the same as the ability to think. 

Like I said, I know you know this, asker, but it’s something I see in fiction/media and it drives me up the wall. So I wanted to include it.

6. For the love of God, do not use medical terminology unless you actually know what you’re doing/talking about. Many disabled people or those with serious medical conditions become what amounts to experts on their own diagnoses, because they have to. They have to be experts to receive the care they should be able to rely on. If you constantly fuck up terminology - trust me - it will be noticed, and it will take people out of the story or hurt their ability to suspend disbelief while reading.

There are ways to do medical scenes/conversations with doctors that avoid falling into this problem! I would just be very very careful to heavily research before using any complex terminology.

7. This disabled person does not exist to evoke pity. They are a human - nuanced and multi-layered - living their life, and their story should always, always reflect that. I don’t really have anything else to add to that.

I would love to hear further advice from anyone with anything else to add.

#writing advice #writing

[asterekmess]

1-11 Scott/Posey Stans always try to deflect criticism of the way Scott McCall is written in Teen Wolf by claiming that ANY attempt by a fan, a viewer, or a critic of holding Scott to a level of behavior that one would expect of a character who is a main and the self-proclaimed hero of the show is “racism”. Except that their accusations don’t make any sense whatsoever, because Scott’s canonical shitty actions and behavior don’t stem from his race (or canonical lack of thereof.)

Okay hun, this is a doozy, so I’m putting it under a Read More.

2-11 Scott McCall is mean. He’s mean to Stiles, he’s mean to Allison, he’s mean to Derek, he’s mean to Peter, he’s mean to Cora, he’s mean to Lydia, he’s mean to Jackson, he’s mean to Erica, he’s mean to Isaac, he’s mean to Malia, he’s mean to Malia, he’s mean to Kira, he’s mean to Liam, he’s mean to Chris, and he’s even mean to Theo (“You are barely even human!”) Scott McCall is deliberately rude to the Hales, Boyd, Ethan, Danny, Hayden, Jiang, Tierney, and Melissa.

3-11 Scott McCall deliberately USES, INSULTS, HUMILIATES and DEHUMANIZES people in ways that demonstrate that he is fully aware of what he’s doing. Scott McCall deliberately disregards other people’s needs in order to fulfill his own. Tyler Posey being half Mexican doesn’t change the fact that his fictional character Scott McCall is a whiny coward and an abusive piece of trash,

4-11 and that his so called ‘defense squad’ enjoys the power fantasy that Scott can be cruel, can lie, can assault, can lash out, can violate other people’s boundaries, bodily autonomy and consent, can commit premeditated murder, can break the law without impunity, can dehumanize, can gaslight and victim blame his friends to his heart’s content and no one should ever hold it against him

5-11 In both the production and in some Scott supremacist fanfics, there’s often the premise that people are evil and in the wrong if they call Scott out on his bullshit or hold his toxic behavior against him. Take Season 1. As much as the Scott McCall defense squad brigade love framing Stiles and Derek getting shit done and prioritizing people’s life over Scott’s jealous fits and temper tantrums as the height of depravity

6-11 Scott/Posey Stans consciously and steadfastly ignore all the cruel things that Scott says and does throughout the seasons, such as “How much Adderall have you had today?” OR “What are you trying to do?! I just made first line! I got a date with a girl who I can't believe wants to go out with me and everything in my life is perfect! Why are you trying to ruin it?!” OR “The hunters had a reason to slaughter your entire family and pack”

7-11 (As an aside, it’s amazing to me how Fanon rewrites Scott as this brilliant thinker and strategist and mastermind who is so much smarter and better than everyone else in every way even though Canon Scott spends the entirety of Teen Wolf doing absolutely nothing except get his ass handed to him by everyone, whining about wanting to be popular/get his dick wet/play lacrosse, screaming at his friends and girlfriends, being utterly useless when left to his own devices,

8-11 and planning to bite Stiles against his will because he doesn’t know what to do. But I digress.) Or take Season 5. In the rain argument in Lies of Omission (5x09), Scott McCall’s hypocritical, dehumanizing speech to Stiles is one of the meanest, cruelest, most disgusting manipulations I have ever seen a television character deliver to another television character they supposedly cared about. It’s victim blaming and gaslighting at its vilest.

9-11 And, of course, the Scott McCall defense squad focuses exclusively on the idea that Stiles didn’t behave “the right way” in that scene (AKA taking Scott’s bullshit without clapping back like Scott wanted and demanded), and cannot entertain for one moment the idea that Scott provoked that response by dehumanizing Stiles and by accusing Stiles of being a violent, dangerous, inhuman monster and serial killer based on Theo’s words alone.

10-11 After all, it’s part of their power fantasy. Scott being “abandoned” and “mistreated” by his “ungrateful” friends serves another type of fantasy: the poor oppressed martyr. It doesn’t matter why Scott is abandoned or who is leaving Scott, it’s all about Scott McCall’s right to own people and demand his friends’ love, friendship, loyalty, sympathy, forgiveness, obedience and devotion without having to account for his own abusive behavior.

11-11 And that’s Scott Stans’ point: Only Scott McCall Is Important and Damn Derek/Stiles/Liam/Other Teen Wolf character for having a life and motivations that don’t revolve around Scott! To them (and to Canon Scott), the pack exists not to serve all its members, but to serve and validate Scott McWhinyCall. Because, after all, that’s what antis want for themselves – validation in the face of shortcomings and bad behavior.

Wow, that was a lot of anger. Do you feel any better after venting that? I really hope so, it honestly looks p cathartic. Okay, I apologize in advance if I don’t come across as quite so passionate, I’m kinda bleh today and I already used up all my righteous fury in an earlier post, so I’ll do my best.

I honestly understand the worry about people disliking Scott as having racist motivations. As I said in another post, there aren’t a lot of Latino (wait, I read somewhere to use latine? Should I use that instead? I’ll use that, someone correct me if I’m wrong. The thing also said latinx was not great bc of pronunciation issues? I’m not educated enough on this. Halp, please.) Latine protagonist characters in popular television, especially for teen dramas like Teen Wolf. Intentional or not, written into the show or not, Scott is half-latine. His mother is a latine woman. We don’t see them speak spanish or take part in any specific cultural traditions, but that doesn’t make him white. Yes, his character was written for a white guy, but Tyler Posey is the one who got the part and we can’t strip him of his heritage just because the show originally meant for Scott to be white. My husband is almost always mistaken for white, even though he’s also half-latine, but that doesn’t make him any less latine. There’s little enough representation as it is, and if we start being picky about whether characters were ‘intended’ or ‘written’ as POC, everything will just fall to shit. Plus, as a white person, I have literally no rights to decide that Scott’s white. I’m cool with that. Would prefer to just stay in my lane, if I’m honest. With Scott established as being a POC, it’s totally reasonable for other POC and fans of Scott to be worried that those of us who don’t like him have that opinion because of either passive or active racism. There are a lot of occasions where Protags of Color were either liked less, or actively disliked for just being ‘not white.’ It also doesn’t help that Scott is one of very few “good” Characters of Color in TW (whether we agree or not, he is presented as a ‘good guy’). We have Boyd, who dies in 3A and doesn’t get much character developement in the meantime, and Kira, who sticks around for a while, then has to leave because of ‘losing control’ which is apparently a very common stereotype for POC, especially within Fantasy or Supernatural settings. Other than them, the other POC are either bad guys or just morally dubious. I’m not sure where Deaton falls on the scale either. I understand it being frustrating to some people for us to take one of the few “good’ characters and see him/describe him as a villain. It’s important for white people, and honestly, anyone not latine (because even POC can be racist against people who aren’t their race) to be self-aware and analyze the various reasons why we dislike Scott and make sure that we aren’t accidentally being passively racist. Just because we’re sure we aren’t, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t double check. And if we find we are, then it’s up to us to correct that mindset and educate ourselves. There is no shame in learning that you have not great habits or mindsets and working to fix them. That’s how growth works. It’s equally important that when we’re writing fic, we watch how we portray him and the other POC in the show. I’m not saying we can’t write Scott bashing fic. Fuck knows that I’ve written plenty of Bad Friend Scott McCall fic, and I don’t intend to stop. But we still need to be self-critical and make sure that we’re not writing Scott (or the others, please assume from here on out I’m saying Scott and the others) into racist stereotypes. We shouldn’t reduce him to just a “Yes” man, or make him constantly submissive, or constantly vicious and angry and mean for no reason. It’s one thing to write him as doing something bad or cruel and making it realistic for the story. It’s quite another to have him just randomly pop in to say “fuck you” and hit someone (I’m not referencing something specific here, I’m just saying dumb stuff). Honestly, I don’t know enough about this and I’m not really entitled to go into too much more detail. Instead, I’d recommend that even if you don’t think you’re hating Scott for racist reasons, still read This Post about racism in fandom/fanfic. When I read it, it was both reassuring and intimidating. I have anxiety, so I’m usually worried about doing things for ‘the wrong reason’ even when that’s not actually my reason for doing the thing. Reading this gave me a clearer view of my own thoughts, and it honestly made me feel a little more comfortable with my own mentality because it gave me a structure to think about and consider when I’m worried that I’m doing something racist. It’s worth the read. I’d also like to reiterate the suggestion on that post, to check out the blog Writing with Color, which is a great resource for writing Characters of Color. It doesn’t have as many resources for fanfiction writing and the grey area involved in writing characters that your reader already knows, but their ask box is closed at the moment, so maybe when it opens again someone’ll send in an ask about it (If I actually remember to, I’ll do it myself, but that’s unlikely, so if one of you feels so inspired, please do so and help a fic writer out!)

Now. I cannot speak for every single fan of TW who is anti-Scott in some way. Obviously not. But, I can speak for myself and for the experiences I’ve had within the fandom. My issues with Scott are many and complex and a lot of it is intrinsically connected to issues with the writing of the show in general and with the creators and the calls they made. In all the conversations that I’ve had with other fans, I’ve never seen anyone list Scott’s race as a problem. I’ve never seen anyone talk about how they wished he were more submissive or more obedient. Maybe that he would listen to actual adults once in a while, but not that he be unreasonably obedient of white characters. I’m not all-knowing on the subject of racist stereotypes, but nearly every complaint I’ve seen was based on details from the show and specific moments and dialogue, not just a general disgust with his existence. Furthermore, for all the anger I see directed at those of us that prefer Stiles, Derek, or even Peter, I’ve also never talked to anyone who liked those characters who wasn’t willing to admit that there were plenty of points in canon where they fucked up or did something wrong. Again, I don’t know everyone in fandom, so maybe there are people who won’t admit those things, but they aren’t in the majority.

I personally hate the way I see Scott treat people in the show. I hate the really vicious things he says and does and the chronic lack of self-awareness or growth. Even worse, the way the show excuses his behavior, be it intentional or not, has soured a lot of other parts of the show. The clearly impulsive moments that could easily be excused by him being a really stressed out teenager make me a lot more frustrated than they would, had I not known that he would never get better. That he would never stop saying things like that. I can’t even make myself enjoy the genuinely sweet moments with him and Allison or him and his mom, etc. I might hate that he left Stiles’ messages unanswered and skipped an entire day of school during a crisis to hang out with Allison, but I would’ve liked to enjoy their banter, the soft moments between them that are actually really nice. I can’t though, because so many other things about his character have ruined that for me.

It isn’t okay to attack people for disliking a character and throw around such charged words like “racist” and “abuse-apologist” or anything else. First off, this is fiction, and we all need to keep that in mind. These are not real people we’re talking about. Secondly, calling someone racist because they disagree with you (unless they are actively saying/doing something actually racist) isn’t okay and it isn’t an adult way to deal with things. Someone not liking a character doesn’t automatically make them racist. Someone happening to prefer a white character over a Character of Color doesn’t automatically make them racist. Sure, they might have passively racist motivations that even they don’t realize. But it is not up to strangers to come yell and call names without proof. There are plenty of reasons that have nothing to do with race (Not saying “i don’t see race.” I’m saying “Not About Race”) that I like Stiles over Scott, ranging from the fact that he’s physically more my type, to sharing a neurological condition with him, to just preferring Dylan O’Brien as an actor because he makes me fucking cry every time he cries on screen. What’s important is that we self analyze and check ourselves and our opinions to make sure that we aren’t falling into the racist habit of disliking Characters of Color for no real reason. But that isn’t something that other people can do for us, and it’s not their place to tell us what we think. Calling a stranger racist for saying they hate Scott’s behavior in the show doesn’t do anything for racial equality. It just makes people stop listening to the word ‘racist.’

There are times I seriously get frustrated with TW to the point of considering not watching anymore. Of closing my blog and stopping reading fanfic entirely because every single time I read a fic where Scott’s a ‘good guy’ or a ‘good alpha’ or where Derek is glad to be a beta again because he likes following Alpha Scott, I get squicked so badly I have to click out and just sit there for a second to settle. I can’t disentangle the things he does/says in the show from the fic.And I’ve written Good Friend Scott McCall fics. I have multiple wips where he’s either a decent person or he grows from being a dick to being a decent person. With my own work, I know that there’s an awareness to his behavior in the show and an active intent to rewrite/fix his behavior so that he is a nice person. With other people’s works, I don’t have a guarantee (unless it’s mentioned in tags or author’s notes, and I don’t expect people to have to explain themselves that way), and it personally makes me uncomfortable to read something when I don’t know if the writer actually sees Scott that way. It’s a personal preference, and one that I stick to pretty strictly.

Scott brings me no joy, and with him as the main character, I’ve come perilously close to cutting myself off from the most welcoming, loving fandom I’ve ever been a part of (except the Merlin fandom, but I don’t blame anyone who can’t compete with them. They’re fucking magical.). But I’m still here. I still love, if not the reality of the show, then all the potential I see in it when I watch. I love watching Derek and Stiles interact with each other and with the other side characters. I love seeing the glimpses of Boyd that we get, the tiny scenes of Erica, the snarky moments with Isaac. I even like Kira, though I haven’t seen a whole lot of the show where she’s in it/genuinely can’t remember it (I can’t even remember how far I’ve seen total, but I don’t think it was past S4, and I haven’t seen past S2 in months and months) and she spends most of her scenes with Scott, which just....kind of ruins the scenes for me.

That’s the glory of fandom though, of media in general. I don’t have to like Scott. I can love Derek and Stiles instead and I can choose not to read fics where Scott is a major player or an Alpha at all. I can read fics where Kira’s part of the pack without Scott ever getting involved, and see her interact with everyone else. Or fics where Boyd never dies and watch him bake or read or play lacrosse with the pack. I can curate my own experience, whether that means blocking tags or users or filtering fics, or just straight up skipping certain scenes/episodes of the show itself. I cope with my frustrations by coming on this blog and ranting about it. Yeah, this is a public space, but it’s also a space people choose to view. If they don’t like my opinions, they can block me or unfollow me or all of the above. They don’t have to read it, just like I don’t have to read any of their pro-scott stuff. I also read fic that does explore how Scott’s behavior is problematic and cruel sometimes. Fic that either erases him or turns him into the villain, I find fun and interesting and the relationship between him and Stiles cracking into pieces is something I find extremely cathartic, so I read it pretty much every chance I get (though, i’m so picky about fics I read, you’ve no idea). I also write fic. I write the most mushy, self-indulgent sterek fic and Stiles-centric fic and and Scott bashing fic that I can possibly write. It’s a joy and a therapy all its own. Fuck, I’m rewriting the entirety of canon for fuck’s sake and I’ve made so many changes that at this point I honestly have issues remembering what happens in the show, bc I rewrote the damn thing.

At the same time, Scott fans are gonna write their power fantasies. They’re gonna write anti-Stiles stuff and anti-Derek stuff, and whatever else tickles their fancy. They’re gonna make their own rant posts and gifsets. And to be quite honest, I don’t give a single flying fuck. I already have those tags filtered out on Ao3. I don’t follow any pro-scott tumblrs. That shit doesn’t show up for me most of the time, unless it’s not tagged properly, and even then I just click out, take a second, and move on.

No one is required to like or dislike specific characters, and it’s unfair of anyone to tell us otherwise. Fandom is built on choice. The choice to disagree with canon, or to re-envision it altogether, or to love it entirely. No one can take that away from you. So long as you aren’t hurting anybody, just keep doing you, friend. I’m here for you to vent to when it gets to be too much.

<3

#personal #go for it #anti-scott mccall #meta ramblings #Anonymous #rant #much love #I didn't mean to sound so preachy #oops

[theaceandaroadvocacyproject]

TAAAP’s Response to an Open Letter

We welcome productive conversations between TAAAP and the communities we serve. We value honest critiques and will always strive to correct mistakes we make, and commit to doing good work. However, we do not engage in dishonest dialogue with those who refuse to address our actual stated and acted values, in favor of propping up a false and directly contradictory representation of our positions. We have written this response to address claims that concerns around our December Pride Chats topic were ignored, dismissed, or misunderstood.  This will be our final response to Coyote on this matter. 

Our first email responding to Coyote’s concerns was sent on November 30, and our last correspondence was sent on December 18. We made it clear that it was our last correspondence with: 

“The topic has been decided and it will not be edited further. Like everyone, you will be free to share your thoughts during the December Pride Chats, as long as you follow the guidelines. Since we do not plan on changing the topic from what it is now, we will not be continuing this conversation through email. We have also expressed the core tenets of our stance through previous emails and see no need in reiterating those points, as that would simply be tiresome for all parties involved. We suggest rereading our previous emails for answers already given to your questions on this matter.” - 5th and final email

As the claims in Coyote’s Open Letter make it clear that our emails were either ignored or disregarded, we have chosen to take the route of responding to specific points in Coyote’s Open Letter with quotes from our emails, and adding clarification and emphasis when needed. We also only include quotes from emails sent by us, as we are not interested in publicizing Coyote’s emails without its consent. The block quotes from Coyote are from Coyote’s Open Letter, which was publicly posted on its blog. 

Quotations from Coyote are labelled with an alphabet letter & indented with “blockquote” formatting. Quotations from our previous emails to Coyote, as well as the topic announcement from our website, are only italicized.

A) Because that’s the context from which the term “SAM” itself emerged. That itself is the birthplace of the phrase. You do not “use” “the SAM” any more than a bullseye “uses” an arrow.

In the first sentence, Coyote links to a post claiming this as the origin of the SAM (content warning for aphobia). The post speaks of the Split Attraction Model as a pre-existing concept and does not attempt to coin “SAM” in any way. Due to the difficulty of finding historical posts on Tumblr and forums, no one in the community has offered an earlier post that actually coins the term. Therefore, it cannot be determined what context the SAM actually emerged from. As of that post that is referenced, it was a pre-existing concept. It is a stretch to definitively claim this post as the “source” of the SAM.

We addressed that here:

“Several of us at TAAAP read through and adjusted the wording of this announcement prior to sharing it on the Discord server with the knowledge that while it is possible that the SAM may have been created by exclusionists, its exact origin is unknown and so it has been reclaimed and popularized by the ace and aro communities.” - 1st email

“Several of us at TAAAP read through and adjusted the wording of this announcement prior to sharing it on the Discord server with the knowledge that while it is possible that the SAM may have been created by exclusionists, its exact origin is unknown and so it has been reclaimed and popularized by the ace and aro communities.” - 1st email

We also addressed this in the blog post of our Official Topic Announcement on our website, which was posted on December 19th before the Open Letter was posted:

“If a term may violate our guidelines, due to being rooted in exclusionist or other harmful ideology, do not assume that everyone is aware of its harmful origins or that they espouse those ideas. Many terms have been reclaimed, used without bad intention, or simply used without knowledge of other people using them in harmful ways.”  - Official Topic Announcement on TAAAP Website, emphasis added

B) But you already know that, or so you say. You are comfortable with treating those issues as over and done with, and having personally acclimated yourself to the language, you believe no other issues with the phrase itself remain.

In nearly every email we sent, we described those issues as ongoing. 

“Several of us at TAAAP read through and adjusted the wording of this announcement prior to sharing it on the Discord server with the knowledge that while it is possible that the SAM may have been created by exclusionists, its exact origin is unknown and so it has been reclaimed and popularized by the ace and aro communities.” - 1st email, emphasis added

“The terminology 'the SAM' is popularly used enough that many people have their own varied personal understandings of it, and we recognize that this lack of continuity in what it means can open extra avenues of discussion.” - 3rd email, emphasis added

“While it may not always have a coherent or consistent meaning in these communities, it is still something that is widely referenced and that many people have at least a vague conceptualization of.” - 4th email, emphasis added

“Also, due to the prevalence and often-presumed universality of the SAM, we believe it is important to name it so as to specifically encourage conversation about it. We believe it will be worthwhile for discussion to include it, so that both positive and negative viewpoints of it can be shared, and alternatives can be offered. Many people are on distinctly one side of discussion about the SAM, and some do not even know of the existence of the other side, so engaging in discussion with people who hold different views can be useful in how individuals move forward with their own identities and participation in their communities. “ - 4th email

“The full sentence is ‘We also will require that all participants in the conversation respect others' personal choices and feelings surrounding any particular attraction and orientation model or lack thereof, including people who object to there being a binary of SAM and non-SAM.’ (Emphasis added) While some people do treat SAM and non-SAM as a binary, this is not a view we are interested in spreading.” - 4th email, quotes our prompt, emphasis was present in this email

Regarding the accusation of TAAAP members being personally acclimated to the language, we refer to this:

“These kinds of criticisms are necessary for communities to address issues within themselves, especially when those issues are so common. One motivation behind choosing this topic is to address the far too common issues with the SAM, and offer room to discuss diverse and inclusive perspectives, as many people, including members of TAAAP, have been harmed by those who use the SAM to identity police. Not discussing these topics at all, as we have previously stated, can leave people of the dominant perspective ignorant of other perspectives, allowing divisions to grow without any chances to understand and correct the issue. That being said, and as is written in the month’s topic, we also require respect for how people self identify, including seeing one’s own aromanticism as a subset of their asexuality, and using the SAM. “ -5th and last email, emphasis added

C) You have expressed an investment in opposing identity essentialism, which means the only part that’s missing for you is how one person’s own personal use of a term could be unfair to anybody else.

I will illustrate this with an example.

Hypothetically, say someone in the aro community decided to give a name to a completely legitimate type of aro identity or experience — nothing wrong with that. Hypothetically, say in order to express that identity, they start calling themselves a “pure aro.” Say the identity becomes a popular one, and say there’s also some aros who speak up with objections. Now imagine those aros get told, “That’s okay, you don’t have to use the purity model.”

That would be messed up.

This hypothetical is something I’m assuming we’re on the same page about. If you can recognize that this “pure aro” construct would be a problem, regardless of what “pure aro” was chosen to represent, then you can understand how the language we choose for ourselves — even to represent completely legitimate things — can in fact be unfair to other people. In the same way that it would be wrong to refer to certain aros as “pure aros” or “impure aros,” it is wrong to refer to completely legitimate things as “SAM” or “non-SAM.”

We agree that the language of “pure aro” is inherently bad, in part because it implies an “impure aro” and in part because it assigns a morality to a specific identity, which can also be true with “split” and “non-split”, although to a lesser extent. “Pure” invokes religious oppression and purity culture, with the opposite of “pure” generally being “sinful”. This degree of connotation does not exist for “split”.  We say this not to dismiss the real harm people experience in relation to the SAM, but to highlight the false equivalence in the hypothetical.

In fact, we did at one point address someone in the Pride Chats who used the term “complete aro” by pointing out the potential harm that does to other aro-spectrum people who are just as completely aro as someone who experiences no romantic attraction at all.

We do agree that another issue with the SAM is its perceived universality, which forces labels onto people without their consent. We stated our view of this issue here:

“[S]ome people do understand themselves through use of the SAM - [it does] not work for all, and when that isn’t understood is when identity policing, exclusion, and invalidation can occur. We are open to discussions of the harm done by universalizing identity models in the Pride Chats.” - 5th and final email, some words removed to account for privacy concerns and to avoid quoting Coyote.

Many terms used by LGBTQIA+ individuals were originally coined and used by their oppressors or were slurs. Some terms are sometimes used in harmful and exclusionary ways, and have different meanings for the different individuals that use them. Writing off a term or idea as completely bad and assigning moral value to it is harmful to those who are not aware of its history, have reclaimed it, or find positive aspects of the term with which to identify. We believe it is possible to recognize the harm that occurs from certain community practices while also not attacking people who do not intend to perpetuate that harm. Rather, we should focus on the harmful actions. We do not condone broad condemnation of all who identify with a term, simply because others weaponize or have weaponized that terminology to cause harm. People who have adopted widespread terminology to describe phenomena or identities should not be judged because others weaponize or weaponized that terminology, or for forgiving a potentially negative interpretation/aspect/connotation of said terminology for the comfort they find in using the positive aspects of it to describe themselves.

D) [...] it is wrong to refer to completely legitimate things as “SAM” or “non-SAM.”

This states that people are wrong to use the terms SAM and non-SAM. As shown by our message above, in multiple other messages, and in our Pride Chat guidelines, this is identity policing; it is not allowed in the chats and will not be espoused by TAAAP’s members. It’s not simply the experiences that are legitimate, but also identifying with the SAM or as non-SAM. This is not an acceptance of the SAM, or of a supposed binary of SAM and non-SAM, as a universal model that everyone must or should identify with, but rather an acceptance of some people’s personal identification with the term SAM or non-SAM. We conveyed this idea through email here:

“Also, we do not want to imply that we think using the SAM is not legitimate, as it is a model that many people use and relate to, and do so using that specific term.” - 4th email

E) 1) It’s not split. The word “split,” like the word pure, inherently sets up a contrast. It’s framing these things as only partial, splintered fragments of what they’re normally supposed to be. Categorizing my experiences of attraction as “split” attraction is like referring to me as a “split person” just because I’m not a conjoined twin. I wasn’t split off from anyone. I’m just like this. This is my own whole and natural way of being. “Split” language talks down to me as a lesser fragment of something else. Why should that be recognized as anything less than condescending?

If someone were to talk down to anyone in this way, that would go against our Discord guidelines and they would be warned, “timed out” if they continued, and banned if they continued after the time out, per our rules. Dictating how people can identify, whether by imposing labels on others or by demonizing others for identifying with certain labels, is identity policing. Different identities and conceptualizations of identities resonate for different people, and there is nothing wrong with this. This is also related to the issue of universalization, which we addressed above with the block quote C from Coyote. To be absolutely clear, people with the same or similar experiences are allowed to use different labels and models, likewise, people with differing experiences may resonate with the same labels and models. Additionally, people are never required to identify in opposition to or in relation to any label or model.  

This was addressed here:

“Everyone uses different methods, models, and terminology to understand their own orientations. Some of these may not be ones that you personally agree with or would use, but you must respect others’ right to use the model or method they want. Similarly, you can discuss what you don’t like about any given model, method, or term, but be careful to only apply it to yourself or use “I feel” statements so as not to say what methods others should or should not use. Focus on critiquing the models and not how people make use of them or identify with them. The only models, methods, or terms we do not support are those that are culturally appropriative or violate our guidelines in some other way.

“If a term may violate our guidelines, due to being rooted in exclusionist or other harmful ideology, do not assume that everyone is aware of its harmful origins or that they espouse those ideas. Many terms have been reclaimed, used without bad intention, or simply used without knowledge of other people using them in harmful ways.” - Official Topic Announcement on TAAAP Website, emphasis added

F) It’s not “attraction,” either. Too often I’ve seen people deploying “SAM” or “using the SAM” to misrepresent multi-orientation labeling, which is conflating “attraction” with “orientation.” 

Some people do identify with an orientation based on their attraction. The legitimacy of people who do base their orientation on attraction as well as the various other ways people do not, is recognized in our official topic announcement, the final version of which was sent to Coyote before posting it to our website.

“The topic will be models of attraction and orientation, including the SAM (Split-Attraction Model), as well as understandings and models of orientation that do not center attraction, and any other potential ways of understanding attraction and orientation. We at TAAAP support any person using any kind of model, or no model at all, to identify their attraction or orientation. We also will require that all participants in the conversation respect others' personal choices and feelings surrounding any particular attraction and orientation model or lack thereof, including people who object to there being a binary of SAM and non-SAM. This discussion will explore why people use the SAM, use something else entirely, or use none.” - 3rd email, emphasis added

There are also people who use the SAM to only identify their attractions, and do not use it for their orientation(s). More broadly, we do not agree that it is essentialist or harmful for someone to identify with their own orientation(s) based on their own attraction(s). The harms that are related to self-identifying have been covered above under Quote C. 

G) Frankly? It’s not even a model. It doesn’t model anything. It’s just an extra sticker over multiple preexisting models and concepts, chained together by conflation and essentialism.

The SAM does refer to multiple ideas. Many orientation models and identity terms have a level of ambiguity to them, and this is not unique to the SAM. We addressed the ambiguous nature of the term here:

“We do not strictly define the terms given in the topic, as the ambiguity can allow for segments of discussion that we cannot predict. The terminology 'the SAM' is popularly used enough that many people have their own varied personal understandings of it, and we recognize that this lack of continuity in what it means can open extra avenues of discussion. We know that many people identify with it or refer to it when speaking of their identities, and that others do not identify with it nor wish to use it as a reference point, and we want to leave room for people of all perspectives to talk about it (whatever they believe 'it' is) without correcting them for talking about the ‘wrong' thing.” - 3rd email, emphasis added

H) All this is why I recently had to gently shepherd an aro out of your “opting out of romantic orientation” channel. 

This is elaborated upon later:

I) The TSAMM encourages a conflation between “romantic orientation” and “distinguishing romantic from sexual,” and the popularity of that conflation has so thoroughly undermined conceptual space for folks like me that you can outright name a channel “opting out of romantic orientation” and you’ll get people in there talking about how much they definitely do identify with a romantic orientation. Even in space deliberately set aside for me, the TSAMM renders the distinction incoherent.

As mods, we should have noticed this when it happened and addressed it then. After reading through the exchange, it was clear that this person was questioning and trying to find what term(s) they felt comfortable identifying their orientation with. The channels for different identities are open to people who are questioning, as well as those of other identities who are willing to ask questions and listen respectfully. While in our Pride Chats, it is expected that questioning people are respected and given space to question without being “shepherded” away. 

J) I deserve better than this. Everyone deserves better than this. We deserve to get to have these conversations without the TSAMM getting in the way.

“TAAAP specifically does not feel comfortable avoiding discussing the term Split-Attraction Model, as it is common community terminology and many identify with it in a positive sense. We feel that it would be a greater disservice to beat around the bush than to allow people to discuss it, although we do understand that our wording can better reflect how we encourage discussion about various other orientation models/terminology, and to reflect the fact that participants will be welcome to share criticisms of the term 'SAM' as well.” -1st email, emphasis added

In this first email, we clarified the wording of the December topic to make it clear that the SAM was only one part of the topic, and to encourage discussion of more models and terminology.

“The terminology 'the SAM' is popularly used enough that many people have their own varied personal understandings of it, and we recognize that this lack of continuity in what it means can open extra avenues of discussion. We know that many people identify with it or refer to it when speaking of their identities, and that others do not identify with it nor wish to use it as a reference point, and we want to leave room for people of all perspectives to talk about it (whatever they believe 'it' is) without correcting them for talking about the 'wrong' thing.” - 3rd email, emphasis added

“We chose to name the SAM because of its wide use as an orientation model in the ace and aro communities, and regardless of personal use or opinion, the term contextualizes our topic for those generally unfamiliar with orientation models and theories.” - 4th email , emphasis added

“Not discussing these topics at all, as we have previously stated, can leave people of the dominant perspective ignorant of other perspectives, allowing divisions to grow without any chances to understand and correct the issue. That being said, and as is written in the month’s topic, we also require respect for how people self identify, [including] using the SAM.” - 5th and final email, some words removed to account for privacy concerns and to avoid quoting Coyote.

We would like to refer everyone to our guidelines for the Pride Chats. These will be updated with expectations around identity policing using parts of our Official Topic Announcement. 

Also, we feel it worthwhile to address the overall complications inherent in pushing certain terminology and attempting to erase other terminology. Demanding such specific, unambiguous language makes the conversation inaccessible to some neurodivergent people, some people who speak English as a secondary language, and some people with a more casual or limited understanding of this terminology and the nuances of this intra-community conversation. Ace and aro people already struggle to access knowledge about these identities, and this policing of nuanced terminology provides another barrier to aro and ace people who want to understand and express themselves.

When someone identifies with a term, or wants to discuss a term, in TAAAP’s Discord server or on TAAAP’s Dreamwidth page, a safe space, we require that no one identity polices, attacks, nor harasses this person under the assumption that they should “know better”. Discussion and critiques of terms can be brought forward without assigning a certain morality to the people who use them. Discussion and critique can happen without condemning a person.

To suggest an alternative term or to write the SAM out of discussions does not change that many people are exposed to that terminology, and it has impacted their personal identities. The comments on Coyote’s Open Letter are all part of the discussion we always intended to have, and still will have in our Pride Chats Discord and Dreamwidth. As a reminder, our December 2020 Pride Chats will take place on the 26th and 27th and the topic is “models of attraction and orientation, including the SAM (Split-Attraction Model), as well as understandings and models of orientation that do not center attraction, and any other potential ways of understanding attraction and orientation”. 

#long post

[caddy-whump-us]

Some questions/food for thought: Why can Lucian never be a Black Swan? Has he done something to discount him from that entirely? Does he ever beg to be treated like one (and get suitably punished for his insolence)?

Oh anon~ This is about to be a Deep Dive into the Lore and Backstory. Spoilers ahead for some of the unwritten bits of the vampire series. And this is seriously long, okay? And, more importantly:

CAUTION/TW for referenced non-con, sex work, and forced/non-con sex work, and physical violence. Nothing is described outright; all mentions are only oblique references. Still, please proceed with caution!

Okay. Lucien. This snide little asshole. Let’s talk about him!!!

Lucien could be a black swan–in theory. But he’s been passed over because he’s actually not entirely human. O wat? O yes.

So the “red light district” of this city (which needs a name; I generally picture something like Yharnam from Bloodborne but with fewer monsters and more of a functional city) is called Smoketown. And it’s off to the southeast corner of the city, on the other side of the river. And this is the part of town where the drugs, gambling, dance halls, and sex workers are found. To use the local slang, there’s grindhouses and ponyboy stables, and dollboys around Smoketown. 

There’s a bit of a hierarchy, I guess, in all this, with the “dolls” and “dollboys” being the top tier (charging the most), down to the ponyboy/ponygirl stables (middle tier), down to the grindhouse boys/girls (lower tier), on down to the “crib hoors” and “street hoors” (generally regarded as awful and only suitable for the most broke and desperate). This is a real simplification, but I guess that explains the basics? 

Lucien was, some time ago, a dollboy (so was Maggie Magpie, actually). They’re regarded as the prettiest and most expensive–if you want to be fancy you could almost call them courtesans. And, ideally, they’ll get themselves a particular patron and be a sort of love affair for pay.

An aside: so this imagined world has different views on sexuality (and to some extent gender? but not quite so much). Basically, when one is young, go ahead and fool around. You’re young, what you do now is less important than what you do later. But because this culture still very much holds to primogeniture, you had better be married to someone with whom you can have a biological child. That’s the ideal. But while you’re young, a teenager, a 20-something, go ahead and fool around–ideally not in Smoketown, but if you’re a boy and you find yourself drawn to a boy classmate, well, that’s just how it is when you’re young. And if you’re a girl, and you find yourself drawn to a girl classmate, well, go on ahead, because young love is passionate but rarely lasts. You can like whoever during this period of particular romantic and sexual freedom.

Once one gets a little older, it’s considered mature and responsible to “grow out” of this phase of experimentation and rampaging passion. You settle down, you marry someone with whom you can have biological children, and your firstborn will inherit your estate, &c &c. But, of course, some people just…won’t. Because this is how they are. In some cases, like Nikolai and Jonathan, they go on with their relationship and don’t grow out of it but rather into each other (this is why N&J staged a secret wedding between themselves, with rings and all; they can’t marry in the eyes of the law, but they consider themselves married). And, yes, this is not considered mature or wholly acceptable, so they keep these (quite committed) relationships as secret as possible.

In other cases, especially among the titled, the gentry, the upper-class, who all marry each other as one does, if you must indulge in this misplaced youthful exuberance, there’s Smoketown. And if must go to Smoketown, at least pay for the services of one of the sex workers of equally high status. (Does that always happen? No. But you get the idea.)

So you have this set of “houses” of highly-paid, highly-regarded “dollboys.” And these houses are both in competition with one another but not a strenuous competition. Any competition mostly plays out in trying to find or recruit new workers (Maggie, as an example, was born to a sex worker and, presumably, a client and was kept as a kind of a household servant in that same “house” until the proprietor of the Aviary encountered him and essentially bought him and kept on using him as a household servant until he was of age to actual start work; he’s in debt at this point). 

And, of course, the different houses have different aesthetics. The Aviary tends to have boyish workers that play to that nostalgic “school romance” or “university romance” aesthetic, Lucien’s house (no name yet) tends to play more with gender especially re: clothing and makeup. Lucien likes feathers and leathers and silk and lace and painting his eyes. He knows he can kind of saunter along and blur that line. And it works well for him.

So that’s Smoketown. Now. Off north of the river and outside the city (northwest of it, I think?) is a district called “The Five Churches.” And there are, indeed, five churches, that all share a large plaza or square onto which their doors open (p.s.: weddings are conducted on the porch of the church; just a fun fact there). The sixth side of the plaza is open to the city. Beyond and behind the churches is a massive, massive cemetery–it is absolutely the cemetery for the entire city (please picture Highgate Cemetery or the Glasgow Necropolis).

And somewhere out in or beyond or (actually) under the cemetery is a secret, hidden, exclusive…club, I guess. It’s not a cult, but it’s extremely secretive. A secret society, is I guess the best way to put it. And it is called The Red Circle.

The truth is, the Red Circle is really just a giant whump party. The rich and powerful (men, almost exclusively) have at their disposal a selection of whumpees to use as they see fit, to release the tensions of the lives or to satisfy urges that otherwise cannot be soothed or just because. 

Now it’s time to introduce a new character. His name is Cyprian and he is a vampire. And he is also under the control of the Red Circle (for reasons I haven’t figured out yet). They’ve got something to use against him if he betrays them, IDK. 

Etienne has actually found evidence of Cyprian but doesn’t know it. There are tally marks in a book hidden in Viktor’s library that add up to about 3 years and change and at the end are the initials C. G. That’s Cyprian from back when he was Viktor’s black swan. And, yes, Viktor turned him into a vampire. And, no, Cyprian wasn’t happy. He should have been Viktor’s heir, but that didn’t work out. And now he’s under the command of the Red Circle. But why?

Well if you have a bunch of whumpees and you love whumping them, how do you keep whumping them without constantly killing them and then needing new ones? The answer came from some of Cyprian’s research (he started digging into the whole “black swan” custom among other things): it is possible to create a kind of ghoul, a kind of half-vampire by carrying out the procedure used to turn a human into a vampire but carrying that procedure out only partially.

Rather than draining the human of all (or almost all) of their blood and then feeding them blood from the vampire that drank their blood, a vampire can inject a human with a small amount of their blood (not taken from the human victim in question here) and you’ll end up with what’s been termed a ghoul.

Ghouls are worthless to vampires: their blood is disgusting, they smell like rust and iron to vampires. And they don’t get many of the benefits that full vampires have–they can’t move so fast, they don’t have the sharp teeth, &c. they do have better vision at night but their eyes are inclined to reflect light like a cat’s eyes will. 

Instead, ghouls are more like humans but still have the vampiric sensitivity to sunlight (neither ghouls nor vampires burn in the sun, btw) and are bound by what’s called the Obligation of Flesh. Where vampires can sustain themselves with blood only, ghouls have to eat raw meat with some regularity. This both keeps them essentially sane and (more importantly to the Red Circle) helps them to heal inordinately quickly. Deny them meat and they heal like typical humans. Feed them some raw liver or brains or raw chicken and raw eggs and they’ll start mending right before your eyes (no, it isn’t comfortable, thanks). Yes, they can die and much more easily than true vampires and some of the Red Circle’s ghouls have, in fact, died.

Now you’re probably way ahead of me by now: Lucien is, in fact, a ghoul. 

The Red Circle’s method goes like this: one or more of them identify someone they want to add to their collection. This decision is discussed and debated until consensus is reached–and they’re very careful about how often and who they add to their collection. At that point, lower-ranking members are sent to the target’s working house and pay for their services–whereupon they whump them up but badly. 

This happens sometimes, even in the best houses, even in the Aviary. The target is allowed to heal but this means less money for the house. As soon as the target is back at work, someone else comes in and repeats the process: payment, whumping. The proprietor is not likely to put a bruised boy out on the floor in a good house, so back he goes to heal and, again, money is lost. And this repeats as long as is needed until word gets out that the proprietor is getting a little fed up with this pattern but it’s not one obvious person or one obvious group doing it. At that point, a messenger from the Red Circle will arrive with an offer to buy the target outright at an extravagant cost, enough to make losing this one boy worth it, especially if it means an end to having an unworkable boy so often. It may take time, but the proprietor is eventually coerced into accepting the offer and the target is spirited away by members of the Red Circle (or aspiring members maybe? pledges, if you will?) and to their secret meetingplace. 

Everything about this sucks, including the part where Cyprian makes them into a ghoul, because that alone hurts like hell. And then they’re stuck there, getting whumped regularly, then patched up and/or fed raw meat. One of the higher-ranking members serves as a kind of proprietor there; Cyprian is as much a servant (or slave?) as any of the ghouls.

So that’s how Lucien ended up being completely undesirable to vampires. But how did he get out of the Red Circle? Mostly because he was a very bad element to add to the collection and there was an uprising against the members of the Red Circle and there may or may not have been some revenge whumping and even cannibalism (gotta meet that Obligation of Flesh somehow). 

At that point, after the Red Circle was broken, everyone in the collection kind of went their own ways. Even Cyprian was free. Lucien, though, kind of fascinated by Cyprian and the things he talked about, sought out Viktor and offered himself as a postulate. And, as we all know, Viktor accepted him. And Lucien set out to be the best and most devoted because that’s how you get rewarded in the world he comes from.

But the first time he offered his blood to Viktor, Viktor laughed and called him a monster and refused his blood. And here Lucien, having learned of the whole black swan tradition mostly from being in Viktor’s house, had been hoping for such a place of honor and now it seems like it’s been absolutely denied to him forever–because he’s a monster with blood Viktor can’t consume. And, yes, Lucien is unbelievably angry and bitter about the whole situation, especially when Etienne enters the picture (unexpectedly).

I hadn’t thought about him begging for the chance to be treated as a black swan and then being punished for daring to ask for such a thing but, damn, now I want to think about that. He probably would–albeit in private. There’s a lot of jockeying for position among the postulates and Lucien has worked his way up to the top, almost a class by himself, and he will not let that go easily. So to be seen begging for something could weaken his position and that won’t do. And yet…and yet…he does want it…

He might get what he wants someday. But it’s going to take some interesting circumstances.

So that’s a bit of a deep dive into the lore, worldbuilding, and backstory that’s running along and behind the vampire stories. If you made it this far, thanks for reading all this! Bits of this will come out as I get more of the stories sorted out and written. But there you have it~

#whump #whump adjacent #worldbuilding #vampires #Lucien #viktor #backstory #lore #captivity

[imagine-loki]

Maelstrom

TITLE: Maelstrom CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 12 AUTHOR: wolfpawn ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine helping Loki leave his physically and emotionally abusive girlfriend. You treat him with kindness and respect, and with time, as he falls for you, you teach him that love isn’t supposed to hurt. RATING: Mature NOTES/WARNINGS: Trigger Warning - This story is going to deal with emotional and physical abuse by a female abuser to her male partner. Maelstrom - a situation or state of confused movement or violent turmoil.

If Loki was honest, he was never more disappointed to see his brother up and about again because it meant he could no longer find a simple reason to be around Cara was decreased also.

He felt as though he was being cursed regarding not seeing her as frequently as he had become accustomed to while Thor was recovering, until the Norns saw fit to shine their fortunes on him once more by making it that Tyr was celebrating his wife's three thousandth Name's Day at his home and everyone that was anyone in Asgard was invited, including his close friend, Odin and his family.

He used the opportunity as a chance to see Cara's home in more detail and interest than he had paid it before in hopes to understand her more. On their arrival, Sif and Thor rushed off to spend time alone together but Loki merely stood and observed his environs.

He was informed that Cara was not there. Her father smiling proudly as he informed them all that Eir had brought her to a highly esteemed event for only the most capable of healers, and ensuring it was known that Cara was youngest ever healer to be brought.

'Well deserved.' Odin stated. Frigga nodded in agreement. 'She is a credit to you, Tyr. Both of your daughters are, and young Lucas, of course.'

'I was fortunate with them, my friend. Lucas and Sif were at an age where they could have reacted so badly when Cisa passed away, they accepted it and mourned her in a healthy manner. And though Cara was so young, I feel like the experience of losing her mother, something she could not have fully understood at such a young age, it turned her into the woman she is now. It instilled in her the need to tend to others.'

Loki sat listening and saying nothing. There was nothing for him to say. He knew Tyr's first wife, Cisa had died years ago but nothing else. It was clearly longer ago than he realised if Cara was not even old enough to recall her.

The day of the feast arrived and Loki, if he were honest, had to admit that Cara, from what he had gathered from her childhood home, was truly a product of her environs. Her demeanour and the manner in which she was to him, it seemed very much in keeping with the home life she was raised with. It fascinated him that with his observations in court, as well as his experiences with Lucia, that there were truly good people in the realm. It gave him hope. Tyr, for a General and a large built man, never raised his voice and though he was known to have killed thousands of men in battle, there was none of the aggression he had heard of in the stories shown in his home.

Loki was sauntering through the reading room of Tyr's home, noting many of his own favourite titles as he did so. It was not as grand as the palace library but it was clear that it was a home of avid readers and that the books there was the result of constant collecting, clearly for longer than the current two generations that filled the home. It was when he noted a hound on a rug, eyeing him suspiciously, did he realise he had not been as alone as he had assumed he was in the large room. In the corner, there was a large reading chair and in it an occupant who smiled warmly at him. 'Hello.'

'I...You...Hello.'

'You seem somewhat startled by my being here, what with it being my family home.' Cara laughed, rising from the chair.

'I...Your father said you were on Alfheim.'

'I was.'

'And that you would miss the celebration.'

'I may have fibbed.' Her smile turned sly.

'I...What?'

'I lied to him.' Cara confessed, looking embarrassed. 'I wanted to surprise him.'

'So Eir did not bring you to some healing event?'

'It was the Congress of Healers, and yes, I was there with her, but I fibbed as to what day it ended so to surprise my father, and if I am completely honest, on a selfish level so I could avoid hosting duties.'

'I thought you were okay with others, you never seem too ill-at-ease.'

'I enjoy others, I just am not too fond of people coming to me when I am not working, especially when I am eating, and them insisting on telling me, in minute detail, their ailments.' Loki winced. 'Yes, eating food and hearing a soldier describe his foot fungus is not conducive to a pleasant meal.'

'No, most certainly not.' Loki concurred, grimacing at the thought. 'How are you?'

'Very well, thank you. And you, My Prince?'

Loki felt a slight surge of joy at her manner of referencing him. 'All the better now that you are here.'

Cara's eyes widened as she blushed. 'My, that is some statement to make.'

Loki seemed to realise that the words he spoke were the ones that he had been thinking in his head. 'Well, I mean…'

Cara simply laughed. 'I am pulling your coattails.' She dismissed. 'How have Sif and that brother of yours been, not getting into more trouble, I hope.'

'They are as insufferable as ever, both acting as though nothing is between them so horrifically while the rest of the realm rolls their eyes but thankfully, no more Bilgesnipe or other such events.'

'You have my sympathies for being forced to endure them, and without the comforts of home too.'

'Another reason for your lack of announcing yourself, I assume?' Cara's face revealed her answer. 'A smart decision.'

'Could you not think of something fitting?'

'No, as you are probably aware, your father is my Godfather.'

'That, I knew.'

'So I was obliged to be here for everything.'

'You poor being.'

'If I can confess, I rather enjoyed it, your home is wonderful.'

'Yes, I often miss it when I am gone.'

'So, how much of this room have you read?'

'Only half, sadly.' She sighed, sitting back down.

Loki looked around. 'That is some feat.'

'I have only read a hundred books or so in the past decade. I am not here enough and with all that I am forced to study for work, my personal reading has taken a significant blow.

'You should be ashamed.' He reprimanded with a smile.

'I know, terrible.'

'What is today's reading?' She showed him the book on her lap. 'I have never heard of it.' He confessed. 'Do such things interest you?'

'I like to understand things, even things and situations I cannot understand, so it is interesting.'

'I do enjoy learning something new.' He confessed.

Cara made room for him on the chair beside her. Loki immediately sat down, the pair getting comfortable and discussing the topics of the book as they read, both relishing the company of the other.

#loki #angst #submission #submitted fic #chapter 12 #maelstrom #wolfpawn #trigger warning #past abuse

[mentalcurls]

2. Sei uno str***o

I’m back with my thoughts of episode 2 of the first season of Skam Italia. This was much quicker than analyzing episode 1, but there’s still a lot of stuff I hadn’t caught or thought much about the first time I watched the season, like pre-Luchino interactions between the boys, sexy times and the earliest mentions of Marti’s mom. Bechdel test results at the end. Warning for gratuitous use of italics.

I’m still not over Skam Italia doing that video of Gio and the chat between him and Eva, referencing and overturning Skam og’s “No Norwegian boy would go down on a girl”, that shit was savage, bless LudoBesse

Oh, the song that plays while Gio and Eva are getting to the cabin! “It’s gonna be you / And me / It’s gonna be everything you’ve ever dreamed” is 100% referring to Eva, to her wanting to be with Gio, in peace, for a while, to her anticipation and plans for this trip

seeing the cabin again, though. I mean, intellectually I know this is the first time it’s ever seen on screen, this was the first time I saw it as well cause I watched all of S1 that weekend after 3.5 Ammucchiate, but now the magical triad of “Sto a Bracciano”, “Due ore” and “Patatine e marmellata” colors my experience of it so much, I almost teared up when Gio and Eva got inside

I had kind of forgotten how much they actually show of Gio and Eva having sex, I get why people drew the comparison after the Nicotino sex scenes, BUT “DUE ORE” AND “TU NON SEI DI MILANO” ARE PERFECT ANYWAYS

still not over the absence of any fic in which Gio gets to properly show off his oral skills (with Eva or anyone else) 

Marti moaning and complaining about how he’s scarred and traumatized after he walks in on Eva and Gio kills me; tbh his problem is mostly that he saw a bit too much of Eva (not a lot I think, because that sheet was pretty strategically placed) and not enough of Gio

I can’t focus on Eva when there are proto-Contrabbandieri interactions going on, I just cannot

ok, so, Marti. He says his mom “freaked out” because she decided to do housework and that he had to run. So, like. Given that he uses that same wording “sbroccare” that he’ll use in later episodes to talk about his mother’s mental illness, what’s happening here? Because while I see how a person would “freak out” about cleaning (like if they suddenly started obsessing over everything being dirty), I think from what we’ve seen of Mrs Rametta that’s not likely and she probably simply tried to do the spring cleaning. So is that what Marti considers a “freak out”? Does he put spring cleaning on the same level of what I’ve always assumed were, like, panic attacks? And then of course there’s the fact that we have a boy who runs like a bat out of hell as soon as household chores are mentioned. Now. We know in a few months Marti is going to pray for his mom to want to do the chores 💔

“C’mon Eva why are you being like this?” are you really asking Gio?

Marti is at peak 🐍🐍 here: he hijacks Eva’s time with Giovanni, stops them from having sex and keeps Gio busy with a thirteen-hour-long game of Risk Eva doesn’t take part in at all. And Gio lets him! He doesn’t even appear to stay mad about not being able to have sex for more than those two minutes when he hits Marti with his sleeping bag, is he even a teenage boy

that build up to Elia’s appearance, with the creepy music, gets to me every time and Gio going for the fireplace log lifter kills me

Elia Santini is a living meme from his very first line (“Ammazza che accoglienza”)

I mean that chuckle + “Che, davero?” combo is ICONIC

Eva’s unimpressed face at Gio is also iconic. 

“C’mon, what could I do, he asked if he could come, should I have said no?” ahem, OBVIOUSLY YES, since you promised your girlfriend it’d be the two of you (honestly, Gio, how did you expect to have sex, with your best friends in the room next to yours, only separated by a door??)

Notice that Eva walks away (only a few paces), fully expecting him to follow her and try to placate her more, so she can properly scream at him, except he doesn’t, he goes inside with the guys

so we get to the beach scene and what I can’t help but wonder is how long the two schemers, Gio and Elia, spent coming up with a suitable excuse to feed Eva for going back to Rome, something she wouldn’t question… and she actually questions it anyways for a minute

and God, the suspicious look Eva gives them as they walk away

in this proto-Contrabbandieri dynamic, I can’t help but notice that Martino fills that Luchino-ish role, obviously he’s not treated the same because he’s much more likely to have a sharp comeback to mocking and he’s not as naive as Luca, but he’s the one that gets left behind while the trouble duo goes to get the weed; and I think that if a Bastardata-like situation was to happen in S1 Marti would be the “victim”

and of course this episode has this big gaslighting incident, where Gio tells Eva he’s going back to Rome for his brother, Martino covers for him pretending he knows nothing (and encouraging Eva to drink and forget 😑) and when Gio comes back they all act like it’s fine, like it’s normal that he was gone most of the day and the whole night and like she’s totally overreacting when she’s mad

ok, but Marti is really really invested in Gio’s sex life, this boy is gone, desperately looking for any and all scraps. I think I’ve seen fic do the “Marti never wanked over Gio, he couldn’t have faced him afterwards” thing and while that’s valid, I think that he actually fantasized a lot about him, basing himself on the sexcapades Gio has told him about, like Villa Sciarra, because this boy has shown he’s thirsty af from day one, first telling Eva “c’mon, zozzoni, let me see” on Skype and then in this episode asking Eva outright what Gio’s like in bed

I can’t even describe Marti’s face during the conversation, first he fakes nonchalance, then he goes for a nice-guy-encouraging-reassuring smile, then he smirks and wiggles his eyebrows, then he’s smug, when Eva seems to be mustering up the courage to speak again he’s kind of hopeful, then smug again, then he softens when he starts cuddling Eva, but in the last shot from that clip he’s looking in the distance, he stops smiling and has a slightly disappointed expression

that conversation with Eva, God. Aside from any and all speculation of Marti’s motives, she is obviously embarrassed and uncomfortable, yet Marti keeps pressing; she clearly states she asked Gio not to talk about their sex life (not too in depth at least), yet Martino confirms he’s ignored her request and quotes some notable examples that prove his knowledge, which embarasses her further, to the point she stops the conversation; finally, Marti justifies Gio and himself by saying “You know, we’re like this.” like that excuses anything (or means anything, really)

those shots of the lake in the early morning and of the trees *insert Poetic cinema meme here*

Gio has the gall to come in like nothing’s happened and announce he’s brought back brioches, then to shake his head and sigh when Eva storms off, like dude? You left her alone with your best friend for a whole day and a whole night, no answers to her calls and texts, she woke up hungover on the couch and in the arms of a boy who’s not you and you’re surprised and exasperated by her being mad at you?? Honestly, Gio, you might be il mago dell’amore cause you’re half decent at matchmaking but you’re shit at doing relationships, at keeping them healthy and working

at least Eva finally gets him to follow her where they can talk alone, she finally gets him to choose her over his friends for a few minutes

Eva’s paranoid and controlling behaviour is not healthy for her or for Gio or anyone else, really, but I get where she comes from. Her relationship began with cheating, her boyfriend is currently hiding something, so trust is not something that comes easy here. Still, asking to read your boyfriend’s messages to someone else is not something conducive to a better relationship.

“You-you change when you’re around them.” hello “7 things” by Miley Cyrus!

And here we go again: “Eva, do you really think I’m hiding something from you? Eva, I’m not hiding anything from you, okay?” and he kisses her, trying to placate and distract her with physical affection 

poor Eva walking to a place that is as isolated as she feels

I mean, this trip must have been devastating for her, she’s been anticipating it for weeks, it should be her occasion to be with Gio, to strengthen the one relationship in her life that’s going well, to placate her fears and to forget all the stuff that’s going to shit in her life for a few days; instead Gio’s friends gatecrash the trip, Gio spends half of the time going back and forth from Rome, she gets stuck with Marti who’s a good guy, but inappropriate, she finds out her boyfriend discloses info about their intimacy without her consent, and there’s the whole Laura thing. The only pinprick of light at the end of the tunnel is that kind-of-weird, a bit too touchy-feely girl from the Easter party befriending her on Facebook, how sad is her life?

Bechdel test: this episode doesn’t pass the test. There’s a brief conversation between Eva and her mom at the beginning, but her dad intervenes, plus Eva’s mom is still unnamed so the conversation doesn’t count for the test.

This post is part of my complete series of meta about Skam Italia season 1.  If you’d like to read more of my thoughts about the other episodes, you can find the mastepost linked in the top bar on my blog under SKAMIT: EVA. Cheers!

#skam italia #skamit meta #giovanni garau #martino rametta #eva brighi #elia santini #eleonora sava #martino's mom #skamit #skamit s1 #1x02 sei uno str***o #a. writes

[wolfpawn]

When Ghosts Come For Us

Chapter 9

NOTE This is based on the movie Crimson Peak, so if any of the subject matter in that was uncomfortable for you, you will find this similar. I will *NOT* be describing incest in this, it will only be implied, same as the movie. 

Also, I do not own any image or gif used in this story.

There is references to past abuse in this chapter. 

Rating: Mature.

When Thomas returned, he was somewhat concerned by the grin on Lucille’s face, but going by the smile on Charlotte’s, he thought little of it. They ate, once more, with little talking, and went about their own pursuits for the evening. Thomas went organising some idea for the safety feature he had developed, Lucille played her piano and for a while, Charlotte baked happily, but soon enough after dinner, she felt poorly.

It started with what felt like indigestion, then cramping, and before long, she was sweating profusely, feeling incredibly ill and then she vomited multiple times. When the wretched sound came to Lucille’s attention, she smirked and continued playing, acting oblivious. When it came to Thomas’ he clenched his jaw.

He deplored the smell of sweat and vomit, but seeing that Charlotte was lying face down on the cold flagstone floor, weak and as though she was barely conscious, gripping her stomach in agony, he carried her to their room, her whimpering all the way.

‘What did you give her?’ He asked Lucille when he went back downstairs to fetch some water to assist her.

‘I have no idea what you are referencing.’ Lucille shrugged with a smile.

‘Lucille, she is like death.’

‘She clearly has just caught something. She has not the hardy constitution for this world.’

‘Lucille, it is cruel to make her suffer like this. What is the purpose of it?’

‘Thomas, focus on what this is for.’ Lucille growled.

‘She demands nothing, she asks for nothing, Lucille please cease your games.’

‘Does that not concern you, she never asked for keys, she does not wander around?’

‘Lucille, she is from similar to us, she has suffered many of the sufferings we have, I have little doubt she has learned to survive by not doing anything untoward.’

‘They never suffered as I suffered.’ Lucille hissed.

Thomas eyed her. ‘You read the letters?’

‘“Dearest Charlotte”.’ Lucille spat. ‘So loved and adored by her sister, so sweet and kind amongst everything they endured, it proves how simple-minded she is.’

‘So you are doing this why, to toy with her? Because you are angry that she does not lament?’

Lucille turned to face Thomas. ‘I do it because I must. In the morning, we call the doctor.’

Thomas looked at her and realised the point of her actions. ‘Why not now?’

‘Goodness Thomas, who would go at this hour to get one?’ Lucille chuckled.

Feeling guilty, Thomas went back to getting something to assist Charlotte.

*

‘You should try to drink.’ Lucille held the liquid close to Charlotte’s mouth, Charlotte moved away from it. ‘Come now, don’t be foolish.’

Thomas watched as Charlotte gripped her stomach in agony, tears in her eyes that she refused to shed as she tried to breathe. When the guilt consumed him more than he could bear, he left the room.

Thinking of the pain she was in, he could not rest. It was a peculiar sensation to him, usually he never paid heed to anything around him, he used to push away the feelings of guilt with anyone else, even Edith, who was interesting and different, never instilled the feelings he had for Charlotte, but he suspected that was because none of the previous women knew the suffering they endured as a result of their parents, Charlotte, on the other hand, knew well, she was like them.

Unable to remain still, yet not able to focus on his own projects, Thomas went to the room he had specifically been thinking of earlier in the day when he spoke to Charlotte regarding her art. Looking around, he knew it would take a few hours, but as Lucille’s words of encouragement to drink something and Charlotte’s fresh gasps in pain came into focus once more, he decided to drown them out with something else.

The next morning, with dust sticking to him, Thomas looked around the room. He had gotten sidetracked during the night and even engineered a crude easel for Charlotte and had brought a chair in for her. Her trunk was in next to the window and its contents were still inside, not knowing how she would feel about them being opened, even though he had done such already. With some form of pride, he looked around the room, satisfied.

‘What is this?’ He turned to see Lucille looking around.

‘A room, for Charlotte to use, for art.’

‘Why?’ Thomas looked towards the door. ‘She fell asleep, finally. She is so dramatic.’

Thomas recalled the sheer determination on Charlotte’s face not to cry, her gritted teeth as she bore the pain, he did not think her dramatic. ‘Because she does nothing wrong, she cooks, sews and cleans without argument and she goes nowhere she should not. She is no bother and this will keep her satisfied.’

‘Because that is our main objective in all of this.’ Lucille stated dryly.

‘I have the doctor called.’ He answered without looking at his sister.

Lucille, though irked as to Thomas’s concern for Charlotte and her childish pursuits, needed the doctor to come, so said nothing more.

*

It was a while later when a carriage pulled up to the house and a young doctor disembarked. Thomas, who had been ensuring everything was working with his machine was the first to meet him. ‘Sir Sharpe, I assume?’ The man smiled.

‘Yes...forgive me, you are…?’

‘Dr Thompson, I am new to the area. Dr Percival is retiring so I am taking the reins somewhat and getting used to the area and its people.’ He explained, shaking Thomas’s hand.

‘Very good.’

‘So, the patient is…’

‘My wife, Charlotte, she is in bed at the moment, resting, she fell ill yesterday evening, my sister was here with her all day, I was in the town for the most of it, she can give you more details.’ Thomas explained as they entered the house. The doctor looked around curiously. ‘Forgive the appearance, we are currently having the house redone.’

‘It’s a fascinating structure.’ The doctor noted. ‘Eighteenth Century, am I right?’

‘Corrent, the 1780’s.’

‘Yes, the stairwells were the big thing then.’ The doctor stated.

Thomas wondered as to why a doctor would take such interest in architecture but said nothing on it. ‘Yes, I fear that is not my forte. Lucille?’ A moment later, Lucille came into view at the top of the stairs. ‘Could you please fill in Dr Thompson on Charlotte’s condition?’

‘Of course, please, follow me.’ Lucille stated politely, her smile not reaching her eyes.

‘Thank you.’ The doctor did as requested. ‘Was the illness sudden?’

‘Yes, and quite violent, she is in terrible pain, the poor thing.’

‘I see, and how long are she and Sir Sharpe wed?’

‘A little over a month.’

‘I see.’

‘May I ask as to why such a question?’

‘I have to ascertain all the possible causes for her Ladyship's current state. If she is with child and other such potentials.’

‘Of course, how silly of me to not think of such.’ Lucille walked into Thomas and Charlotte’s room, to see Charlotte grimacing in pain. ‘She was awake most of the night and has only slept on and off this morning.’

‘Thank you.’ The doctor smiled before walking over to her. ‘Lady Sharpe, I am Dr Thompson, I hope to help find out what has you poorly.’ She nodded. ‘How severe would you call the pain?’

‘During the night, sheer agony, now, moderately painful.’

‘Okay, so whatever this is, is on the decline.’ He nodded. ‘How do you feel overall?’

‘Like my innards are after exploding.’

The doctor chuckled. ‘I can well imagine. Have you experienced anything like this before?’

‘Yes, as a child, I cannot recall the cause, only the pain.’

‘Alright, well that is something. I am going to have to check your abdomen, so I will ask your lovely sister-in-law to raise your dress to reveal your abdomen but keep the blankets over everything below your hips, we cannot be allowing you to be exposed unnecessarily.’

Lucille did as requested, her attention on the doctor’s medical bag and the contents of it. To her annoyance, she could not seem to see any form of paper within it. After she did as he requested, she stood back. He touched Charlotte’s abdomen in several places and watched her reaction.

‘Okay, your kidneys are fine, as is your appendix, that is a terrible little blighter for erupting, causes terrible agony, not sure what the damn thing even does. I fear your stomach and associated organs are tender and swollen, not that I need tell you, you know that better than I, and thankfully, there seems nothing wrong with anything to do with your female organs, so overall, I think it to be a terrible bug or a reaction. Have you any allergies?’

‘Rhubarb, I think.’

‘You think?’

‘I remember being told it since I was a child, I cannot recall how it came to be known, apparently, I do not react well to such at all.’ She grimaced again.

‘And what did you eat for dinner?’

‘Stew.’

‘Nothing with rhubarb in it?’

‘No.’

‘Alright.’ The doctor stood straight again. ‘Could you sit up for me please, I know it probably is sore.’

Charlotte did as requested. ‘Lady Lucille, could you untie the back of her dress please?’

‘No!’ Charlotte looked around fearful.

‘Lady Sharpe, I have to check your breathing.’

‘I…’

‘Do not worry, no one will see anything you do not want them to.’

Charlotte said nothing and leant forward, as Lucille undid the back of the dress, she stared at the base of the bed. When the air went over her back, she knew her skin was revealed. Lucille stood back and when Charlotte looked at her, she was not looking at Charlotte’s face, but at her back.

‘I see,’ the doctor’s voice was strained. ‘I…’ He cleared his throat. ‘I will need you to breathe in and out deeply, alright?’ Charlotte did as requested several times. When he leant back, he looked at her skin for another moment. ‘Have you had pneumonia in the past, Lady Sharpe?’

‘Yes.’

‘More than once?’

‘Yes.’ Charlotte looked ahead the whole time.

‘I see.’ The doctor stood back. ‘Lady Lucille, if you would tie her dress again please.’ Lucille did as he asked, looking at the heavily scarred skin that had clearly endured more than simple lashings of a belt as she did so. ‘I think it to be just a temporary illness, it will pass in the next few hours and you will be well again. Until then, try and eat simple foods, plain porridge, some tea, and other such things, you need to keep the body fueled against the illness.’ He grabbed his bag and made for the door. ‘Yes, that will do it.’ He stated, shaken by the brutality blatant to see had been taken out on the woman’s back. ‘Good day.’

Charlotte curled up and faced the other direction, away from the door and Lucille, who said and did nothing for a moment before rising to her feet. ‘I will get the porridge.’ She declared, Charlotte did not respond.

Tags

@sigridlaufeyson @wolfsmom1 @ilovekingt @whovianwookie86-captainxev  @texmexdarling @lokiloveheart

#crimson peak story #crimson peak #thomas sharpe #lucille sharpe #chapter 9 #When Ghosts Come For Us

[rastagong-tearoom]

Inspirational Blend #6: Dream Pop

Hello everyone,

Today's post is the very last one in a series where I reveal the inspirations behind Sylvan Disappearance.

Today, I'll be getting away from webcomics, novels and movies to focus on music! It is the first time I attempt to describe something musical in written words, which is difficult enough, but to spice it up, I chose the most nebulous kind of music genre: Dream Pop.

It is difficult to provide a pertinent definition of Dream Pop if you know nothing of it. The corresponding Wikipedia page, citing the AllMusic Guide to Electronica, tells us that it is:

“An atmospheric subgenre of alternative rock that relies on sonic textures as much as melody.”

This is in all good faith as close as we can get to a valid explanation, the key idea being: Dream Pop music means hazy, blurry textures which produce an impression similar to that of dreams. There is no pertinent instrumental or theoretical category, the genre is largely characterised by the subjective texture as it is experienced.

The definition is not exactly wrong in categorising Dream Pop as an alternative rock subgenre, but personally, I would say it is wiser to outright admit that it is not a very-well defined genre, that it comprises artists from very different backgrounds who can appeal to vastly different sensibilities.

Below are a number of Dream Pop artists and albums I particularly enjoy, along with a short blurb explaining what's so dreamy about their music.

In the course of the article, I provide links to listen to the music I mention on Youtube. If you'd prefer to listen to everything on your own, without having to read the article, I also provide the following playlist, which contains all the songs referenced here:

Julee Cruise

I personally fell into Dream Pop through Twin Peaks, that I watched for the first time last summer, at the time of the release of the 2017 Return of the series. It was a deeply moving experience in many ways, but one of the highlights was discovering the music of Julee Cruise. In the world of Twin Peaks, there's one bar and dancing just outside the titular town that is frequented by everyone —teenagers, small crooks and couples alike: the Roadhouse. The regular performer of the Roadhouse is Julee Cruise, a woman who sings love songs very softly. It is rare for the viewer to hear her songs in entirety, but usually, they're soft, slightly kitsch love songs. The scene on which Julee Cruise sings is usually lit in bright purple and red tones, with an iconic red curtain in the background, which produces an eerie, retro atmosphere.

Excerpt from Twin Peaks. Do not look at the comments if you haven't seen the show.

While watching Twin Peaks, it's easy to leave aside Julee Cruise's music, which serves an atmospheric purpose most of the time. However, Floating into the Night (1989) deserves to be listened on its own terms. It is arguably her most famous album, the one co-produced by David Lynch and Angelo Badalamenti, who later had her perform it in various parts of Twin Peaks.

It is a very special album that I like listen from start to finish at nightfall. It is carried by Julee Cruise's singing, always lingering and slow, and by backing guitars and synths, which produces a very retro atmosphere. The albums hides both dark, melancholic moments, and lighter interludes. Depending on the song, the lyrics can be either sensual, pronounced through rose-colored glasses, or on the contrary, abstract, surreal and disturing —much like Twin Peaks.

If Floating into the Night was a dream, then it would be something at the border between nightmare and dreams; at the single moment where subconscious truths emerge from the night, and into your consciousness.

The Cocteau Twins

Most of the time, Dream Pop is strongly associated with its more famous neighbour, shoegazing. There is indeed a lot of overlap in both shoegaze and certain Dream Pop artists, in their common focus on atmosphere, and in their descendence from punk and psychedelic rock.

The work of the Cocteau Twins could be considered to be the most representative of this Dream Pop variant. In the 80s and early 90s, the Scottish trio enjoyed a large success in the UK alternative scene, like other artists under the independent 4AD label.

It is impossible to put in words the Twins' appeal. Fans will always tell you about the voice of Liz Fraser, the vocalist of the trio, but it is difficult to describe it. As for me, the least I could say is that ever since I started listening to them, a year ago, I gained access to a whole new dimension of existence. The Cocteau Twins offered me a new lens to view life through, and made it infinitely richer.

If you listen to them, you'll notice that in many cases, no words can be discerned in the singing of Liz Fraser, because it is not made out of words —it is a texture, something both abstract and yet so very life-like. But there is a great variety in their production. You'll find both haunting, Gothic songs like Alice, dark riffs like Blue Bell Knoll, and upbeat, light clouds like Cherry-Coloured Funk, which is also very beautiful in its breezy, alternative recording from a later album.

Since their breakup in the 90s, the Cocteau Twins have had a large influence on a number of contemporary artists, and gained a cult following. One of my favourite secret hobbies is to read about what the Cocteau Twins mean to their fans, in Youtube comment sections. There are plenty of anecdotes, often dating from the 80s, and they never fail to bring me a smile. If the Cocteau Twins were a dream, they would be a daydream; a soft fantasy which somehow finds a way into your daily life, and enriches it in ways that cannot be expressed.

Beach House

Beach House is a duo of musicians from Baltimore, in the USA. They might be the most popular contemporary band to fall under the Dream Pop umbrella.

On the surface, they're an indie pop band, but Victoria Legrand's soft singing, their simple synth melodies and their poetic lyrics makes their music sound as soft as velvet. They've just released 7, their latest album, but my favourite so far is their previous one, Depression Cherry.

If Beach House was a dream, it would be, in a straightfoward way, a pleasant fantasy dream.

Nicole Dollanganger

Nicole Dollanganger is an independent Canadian singer and songwriter. She has a very distinctive voice, both very soft and high, and writes songs with very simple lofi instrumentals, which clash with her bleak lyrics about emotional abuse, sexual and gun violence. The result is a dreamy, Gothic atmosphere from which transpires a lot of sadness underneath.

I am slightly obsessed with her 2012 album Natural Born Losers.

If she was a dream, Nicole Dollanganger would be an afternoon nightmare: it may start peacefully, but remain asleep long enough, and it will awaken long buried trauma, and leave you with a strange aftertaste upon waking up.

The Cranberries

I'm still sadder than I'd like to admit about the recent passing of Dolores O'Riordan, the lead singer of the Cranberries. I have a lot of memories associated with the band. I know I used to listen to Ode to My Family as a child, without knowing who the band was at all. Later, I got obsessed with Zombie like many teenagers. But it is only many years later that I re-discovered all of their music, and found out that some of their songs sounded like Dream Pop.

The last song I will leave you with is perhaps the best-known from Everybody Else Is Doing It, So Why Can't We? which is the Cranberries' 1993 debut album. It's one of the songs I most listened to while writing Sylvan Disappearance, and its title, lyrics and aesthetics are quite self-explanatory: Dreams.

#Dream Pop #Shoegaze #Nicole Dollanganger #The Cranberries #Cocteau Twins #Julee Cruise #Beach House

[jouissezduprintemps]

Something to Gain, Chapter Seven: Rasa’s Daughter

Rating: T Words: 3052 Fandom: Naruto Summary: Sequel to Something to Prove. Shikamaru and Temari navigate their relationship now that it’s in the public eye.

Something to Prove   First     Previous      Next

Kankuro stuck his hands in his pockets as he walked down the empty corridor, on his way to his brother’s office. Evening had fallen, and the building was mostly empty at this time of day. Gaara was always the first to arrive and the last to leave; Kankuro had come to remind him that he needed to eat and suggest that he join the rest of his family to do so. In the dimly-lit passage, he grew too comfortable in the relative silence. He was startled when a voice shouted, shaking through the building.

“Damn it, Joseki!” Tojuro shouted, slamming his hands down on his colleague’s desk. “We gave you your two days. Baki is the only council member who agrees with you. Rasa would never stand for this!”

“Rasa is dead.”

“And we have a demon ruling in his place! You think this is stability?!”

Kankuro hid himself inside one of the darkened alcoves that littered the hallway. Once displays for Suna’s treasures, they had long since been abandoned in favor of proper storage. At the moment, they were perfect to conceal himself from sight. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Tojuro was far too bold if he was voicing such opinions.

“Careful, Tojuro,” Joseki’s voice remained calm and even. “The wrong person might hear and accuse you of treason.”

“Right. Rasa’s daughter goes and makes herself a Konoha whore, but I’m the one committing treason,” Tojuro spat.

“Get out of my office.” The next word was a growl. “Now.”

Tojuro stormed through the door, slamming it hard enough to rattle the wall. Kankuro remained concealed. A quick series of hand signs produced a clone, which he sent to follow the loud-mouthed councilman. He needed to report to Gaara, and quickly. If Tojuro was indeed their information leak, he was likely to slip up when his anger ran high. After a few seconds, when he could be sure that Joseki wouldn’t leave his office, Kankuro hurried down the hallway as quietly as possible.

“I don’t need to practice. I know what I’m going to say.” Temari ran a comb through her hair as she spoke. “Besides, none of it really matters. Once Gaara finds the leak, he’ll come forward with how all of this was planned. Those councilmen can shove their walking sticks back up their asses and get on with their lives.”

“See, when you say things like that, it makes me think you should give it another run-through.” Shikamaru’s eyes scanned the paper in his hand, moving over the outline that he, Temari, and Gaara had agreed upon.

“I’m just tired,” Temari explained as she turned the knob on the sink, letting cold water run through the pipes. “I’ve talked more to people in the last few days than I do in a year. That’s a lot for me.”

Shikamaru hummed his acknowledgement, listening as she splashed her face. After a moment, he looked up and admitted, “I’m worried that we don’t have any solid leads.”

“We’ll have Ino’s sensory skills in the council chamber with us. If anyone reacts, we’ll know. Kankuro will be watching the village from the aviary; Choji is going to patrol the kazekage building, where we’ll be. Baki is going to lead a training exercise for the guard as an excuse to keep watch over the gates. If they show themselves, they won’t have a chance. I imagine they’ll assume I can’t, or won’t, fight because they think I’m pregnant. Trust me, we have the upper hand.”

Well, at least she wasn’t worried about it. If only he could be so sure. “Lady Tsunade is going to have a field day with this when I file my report.”

“You’re helping preserve the alliance from outside forces. Yeah, it’s a little unorthodox, but Ino’s the one who needs to take the fall for that.”

“You’re not wrong.”

“Now, stop using all your energy thinking of contingencies. I need you sharp for tomorrow morning.” She took the paper from his hands and set it on her dresser, well out of his reach. “We’re too far gone to back out now.”

She might as well have been walking into her own trial. The judgmental glares of the councilmen tried to burrow into her skin as she approached the table, at which she boldly took her usual seat. Ino stood behind her chair to her right, severe and unyielding in her assumed position as bodyguard. The role came naturally to her, which was a blessing to the operation. To Ino’s left stood Shikamaru, who did his best not to look alert. The village knew him as the lackadaisical chunin exam proctor; to change his demeanor would be a complete giveaway.

Gaara glanced to his immediate left to look at his sister. To his right, Kankuro’s seat sat empty. It would be incredibly taboo to invite Shikamaru to take the seat, even if there was no real reason for him to stand. The gesture of allowing a Konoha nin to sit at the Suna council table would be too bold a move.

Temari’s eyes were cold as she stared down each of the councilmen in turn, daring them to make the first move. Her power play worked in her favor, and she decided to push it further. She shifted in her chair and leaned forward, placing her elbows on the table and weaving her fingers together. “I know I wasn’t called to the council to be gawked at. If you gentlemen have something to say, I suggest you do it.” Her challenge hung in the air, refusing to be ignored.

Shikamaru resisted the urge to wince at her brash tone. She clearly thought she’d already won, even though the battle hadn’t started. For now, all he could do was stand back.

Sajo, the narrow-eyed councilman on the other side of the table, was the first to speak. “Lady Temari, you must know that this council puts the good of the village above all else. Due to your…” he cleared his throat, “predicament, there are factors that need to be considered for the sake of Sunagakure.” He proceeded with caution, carefully choosing his words. “You are Rasa’s eldest, and, although the council selected Gaara as Kazekage, any child you bear will be from the main branch of the kage bloodline. Ordinarily, this would be natural, but the child in question isn’t entirely Suna.”

Picking up for his senior, Goza stroked his goatee as he spoke. “Even with the alliance in place, this council cannot accept a Konoha child as an heir to the kage bloodline, even as a firstborn. The conflict of interest is too great.”

“You talk as if my brothers will never have children of their own,” Temari countered.

“As that may be, there is no way to know that either Gaara or Kankuro will produce an heir of their own before tragedy strikes.” Goza’s words clearly referenced Gaara’s temporary death and Kankuro’s brush with Sasori’s poison. Both young men could easily be dead by now, and this served to emphasize his point.

Ebizo moved in his chair, surprising most of the council that he wasn’t asleep as they had assumed. The old man narrowed his eyes and looked directly at Shikamaru. He said nothing, and Joseki took his chance to speak.

“I suppose it would be best if we start at the most basic level,” Joseki spread his hands on the table. “You clearly intend to keep the child.  What does your…” he hesitated, trying to find the best word to describe Shikamaru in this situation, “lover plan to do?”

Speaking for him, Temari stated, “If you’re asking if he plans on remaining a part of our lives, the answer is yes.”

“The council cannot support a relationship such as this across village lines. Emotional ties are one thing; with a child in the mix, it could be a diplomatic nightmare if our villages go to war.”

“And would the council continue to disapprove if he were to relocate?” Temari asked, addressing the entire table.

There was some mixed murmuring before Tojuro voiced their answer. “Yes.” His decision fell heavy in the room. “He is born and raised Konoha. Relocation is no guarantee of allegiance.”

“Well?” Ebizo spoke, his voice strained and wavering with age.

“Honored Grandfather,” Temari began.

“No, Princess. I was talking to him.” He pointed a bony finger at Shikamaru. “I want to know what he thinks.”

Shikamaru wasn’t expecting to be addressed so openly. His mouth felt dry, but he pushed himself to speak. “Honored Grandfather, sir,” he used the same honorific he’d heard Temari employ, “I will do whatever it takes to remain with Temari and our child. I don’t know what this council will decide, but I would swear my allegiance to Suna tomorrow if it was required.”

The old man smiled a toothless grin, chuckling to himself. “Oh, Chiyo will haunt me for saying it, but I like him!” He looked over at Tojuro. “You don’t get to be my age without knowing what loyalty looks like. That boy would die for our princess, I guarantee it.”

“Honored Grandfather, that doesn’t have much to do with the problem at hand,” Tojuro did his best to maintain his respect and civility toward his elder. “Rasa would never stand for this, and neither should this council.”

“Rasa is dead,” Gaara rasped, adding his voice to the mix for the first time. “You’d do well to remember that I am not my father, Tojuro, and my Suna is not his.”

Tojuro’s hand balled into a fist underneath the table. “Yes, my lord.”

“Don’t misunderstand,” Temari said coolly, “I came to this council meeting as a courtesy. I have already made up my mind. Whether the council approves or not, I know which move I’ll make.” She met Tojuro’s gaze. “You say my father wouldn’t stand for this. I’ll remind you that he was strictly utilitarian. Tell me, what solution would he choose?”

Tojuro clenched his jaw, angry that he didn’t have an answer. Fighting her insolence would only put him in a bad light, and so he remained silent. To his ire, Ebizo’s wheezing laugh sounded to his side.

“Very good, Princess. Very good.” Ebizo’s face wrinkled more dramatically than it already was. “I couldn’t say you’re wrong, either. Your father wouldn’t be pleased, but he would draw the same conclusion, I’m sure.”

“And what would that be?” Joseki asked.

“Our Lady Temari plans on relinquishing her bloodline claim and relocating herself.” Ebizo’s tone made it sound as obvious as telling someone the sky was blue.

The table went up in a roar as protests fought over one another, trying to be heard above the rest. Ebizo, Gaara, and Temari remained silent, and the glint in Temari’s eye betrayed her amusement at the result. Leave it to the Honorable Grandfather to land her shocking twist better than she ever could.

Shikamaru looked down at Temari with wide eyes. This wasn’t what they’d discussed, what they’d planned. Sure, it got a bigger reaction than they’d hoped for, but he didn’t know where she was going with this. She’d completely abandoned the strategy.

When the room quieted, Temari explained, “To the council, having Shikamaru relocate is a risk. My child having Konoha blood is a risk. You’d have me abandon both, I’m sure. But Suna has my brothers, two possible branches for the family. If the council wishes to follow the law of my father, it should see that my relocation will cause the largest net benefit to the largest group of people.”

Ikanago slammed his fist on the table. “Such an action would have you branded a rogue nin!”

“That decision is mine and mine alone to make, Ikanago.” Gaara didn’t try to veil his threat. “This council serves to advise, not rule. Remember that.”

Ikanago stood, his chair scraping along the sandstone floor. “I refuse to stand by while this council seals the fate of Suna. I will have no part in this.” His footsteps echoed throughout the room, and, by the time he reached the door, Tojuro and Ryusa followed his lead. When the door clicked shut, Gaara stood, placing both hands on the table.

“Dismissed.” In an instant, his sand enveloped him, and he was gone.

“Let’s go,” Temari looked up at her companions before standing. It was time to move. So as not to arouse suspicion, the trio walked out of the room with purpose. In a low tone, she whispered, “Ino, go back up Choji. Check the offices. We’ll head to the street and see if we can’t use ourselves as bait.”

Kankuro scanned the streets from his perch, hidden in one of the many open windows of the aviary. He’d come close to falling asleep when he saw three figures storm out of the building that was his mark. He narrowed his dark eyes against the sun, watching their movements. They stopped and seemed to exchange words before parting ways. One of them walked to the north, but the other two broke into a run at the west and south. Now, that was interesting. To his regret, none of them seemed to be headed his way.

He had a choice to make. He could only track one of them. Trusting his instinct, he set off after the westward-bound council member, running along the rooftops, just out of sight. He couldn’t be caught before he had proof that this man was a part of the information leak. For the moment, he had to lie low and keep his distance.

The council member – Ryusa, he could tell now that he was closer – took him in a massive loop back toward the administrative building, and Kankuro started to wonder if his presence had been detected. Ryusa slipped down an alley, turning left, then right, then left again. When he stopped, he stood in front of a back door, shrouded in shadow. Kankuro hid himself in wait, and it wasn’t long before Ryusa was joined by both Tojuro and Ikagago.

Ikanago knocked four times on the door with various pressures, and the door cracked open for him. He and the two others slipped inside, and the door was swiftly shut behind him. Kankuro had to move quickly if he was going to get backup for this one.

Ikanago put as much detail as he could into the scroll, trying not to leave out anything of importance. Tojuro was peering insufferably over his shoulder, and he resisted the urge to stab him in the thigh with his pen. If this plan was to continue unhindered, they needed to maintain some semblance of camaraderie.

Once finished, he rolled the scroll back up and made a series of hand signs, sealing it with a jutsu. To anyone else, it would look like a basic letter. There was nothing to make it official or any sign that it would be from someone of importance. The messenger was chosen for the same reason; a boy of sixteen, with nondescript features and an average build, stood across the room, waiting patiently for his assignment. They were paying him handsomely to deliver the message, and their partners were sure to do the same upon his arrival.

Ryusa stood opposite the boy, making sure he knew his responsibilities. “Now, tell me again.”

The boy bit back a groan. “I’m taking the message past the demon desert, to the boarder of the Rain. I’ll be met by a man in a black and red cloak with a mask over his face. I’m supposed to pass the scroll off to him and take the long way back, so I don’t look suspicious.” He frowned at his employer. “Can I have my money now?”

“Ingrate,” Ryusa growled as he handed him a bag of coins. “Ikanago!”

Ikanago tossed the scroll to the boy, who caught it and tucked it away in his pack, along with his payment.

“Now get going,” Tojuro commanded.

The boy disappeared up the flight of wooden stairs, headed for the back door. In a matter of seconds, there was a loud crash, a heavy thud, and the boy came tumbling back down into the cellar. The three councilmen jumped to the ready, kunai drawn.

Kankuro threw himself over the railing, diving at Tojuro. Their kunai clashed, and they broke apart, only to clash together again. Temari followed her brother, using her closed fan as a club to send Ryusa flying into the wall. Shikamaru engaged Ikanago while Ino bound the hands of the messenger boy, her knee planted firmly against his spine to keep him from moving.

The cramped quarters made fighting difficult. Kankuro and Shikamaru were used to mid-range tactics, but Temari was a long-distance fighter by nature. This almost proved fatal when Ryusa threw himself at her, lodging his kunai in her abdomen up to the hilt. Ino was quick to intervene, engaging him in hand-to-hand combat.

Temari stumbled, her hands clutching her side. She knew better than to remove the kunai. There was nothing more she could do. She barely registered that Kankuro had trapped Tojuro inside Black Ant before he was at her side.

“Tema! Aw, shit. Tema, you’re gonna be ok. C’mon, sis, stay with me.” He gave her a small shake as her head fell onto his shoulder. “Fuck! Hurry it up!” he shouted at his comrades.

“Ino!” Shikamaru shouted, holding on to Ikanago with his shadow possession. His teammate struck her opponent in the head hard enough to concuss him before hurrying to his aid. She wasted no time in binding him. As soon as she was done, she was at Temari’s side. She took her from her brother and lay her gently on the floor.

“Shit. She’s losing a lot of blood. I’m going to have to do some patchwork before we can get her to the hospital.” Ino looked at Kankuro, who nodded. “Tema, this is gonna hurt, but you’ve got this, okay?”

“Just do it,” Temari hissed, clenching her jaw as Ino removed the knife. She was bleeding freely without the obstruction, and Ino worked quickly to close the wound enough that she wouldn’t lose anymore blood. The last thing she saw was Ino gesturing to Shikamaru and Kankuro to give her more room. Then, everything was black.

#shikatema #naruto #naruto shippuden #naruto fanfiction #fanfiction #shikamaru nara #temari of the sand #kankuro of the sand #ino yamanaka