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duskamethyst · 4 years

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attitude.

a/n: i had to edit this so many times for a month.

word count: 2.1k

genre: smut, nsfw

warnings: dubcon kinda, daddy kink, masturbation, semi public, slight exhibitionism, slight sexism, degradation, slight dacryphilia, angry fucking

pairing: ukai x f!reader

you open the door to the shop, greeted by the guy you knew too well, only that his whole face is hidden behind the newspaper, obvious that he is smoking a cigarette from the smell that stings your nose and the smoke around him. you aren’t having the best of days so naturally, you begin to rant about the hard ass professor from your class. you glance at your boyfriend mid-rant, who still has his nose stuck on the article.

“he didn’t like my proposal and he had the audacity to say some misogynistic shit like, the amount of makeup i wore to class and all that shit.” you continue, but the other party only hums in response.

“like, what does that have to do with my work? he probably thinks that i’m some kind of a bimbo. it’s ridiculous– keishin, are you even listening to me?”

ukai puts out his cigarette on the ashtray and flipped through the paper and nods, “yeah, i hear you.”

“well, you could’ve said something to make me feel better.” you grunt, crossing your arms across your chest as your eyes glare through the papers in search of ukai’s face as if you have the ability to see through objects.

“don’t look at me like that.” he replies all too knowingly though not even bothering to spare you a glace ever since you step inside his store.

“then what did i say?” it’s stupid to ask such question. you’re willing to bet that he isn’t actually listening nor interested to partake in the conversation. it happened sometimes and it drives you nuts and upset altogether.

ukai shrugs and turns the next page, “something about your professor.”

“…..and?” you tap your foot on the floor, starting to lack in patience.

“and, i’m just not good in multitasking so i couldn’t really listen to you while reading.”

“you fucking asshole,” you cuss. “i worked my ass off day and night, sometimes it doesn’t work out and when that happens, i really hoped that you would be there and cheer me up but now you just decided that you won’t even spare a few minutes to put down the paper and listen to me? hell, this happened a lot of times already. are you also stressed out like me? from sitting in front of the fucking register and smoking all day?”

“you probably should tell that to your professor instead,” he answers nonchalantly which annoys you even further. “jeez, and i probably should’ve dated someone my age.” he says lowly under his breath, but just enough for you to hear it clearly, even from behind the newspaper.

“excuse me?” you can’t believe what you heard, your fists clench on your sides and your breathing quickens. if the fact that he was not listening to you is the final straw, this takes the whole damn cake.

“yeah, maybe you could try. no one around your age would date you– not with this shitty job you have. at this point, i just wonder when the fuck are you gonna get cancer.” you snap. “at least i know there are tons of guys in my class that would want to date and fuck me. but nooo, i chose you instead. so, fuck you, keishin. just–fuck! you!”

as you are about to turn your heels around and storm off the store, ukai’s chair screeches as he stands up and grips your wrist from behind the counter, causing your body to yank backwards. ukai presses your cheeks together with his other free hand and tilts your head up to force you to look at him. his eyes are filled with ire– they are so cold and filled with rage at the same time, it’s actually sending chills down your spine.

“is it my fault that you have daddy issues? is it my fault that you like older men like me?” he sneers.

a pool of tears are slowly beginning to form in your eyes. it isn’t because you are remotely afraid but more of a natural reaction when you get furious.

“oh now you’re gonna cry?”

the thought of your black mascara running down your face together with your salty tears delights the man himself and you know this too well as you can see it in his face. giving in to that would be a mistake and you would hate to give him the pleasure.

“who taught you to speak to me like that?”

you turn your face away to the side to release from his grip and shoot him a murderous glare with all the courage instill in you, “you deserved it, asshole.”

ukai raises his brow, unsatisfied. his grip on your wrist tightens more as you struggle to pull away.

“let go.”

“i don’t think so,” he chuckles sardonically as he slips out from his apron. “that mouth is good for one thing and one thing only,” ukai turns to walk out from the register and stands intimidatingly tall in front of you, “and you know what that is.”

“well, i don’t know. like, eating, talking?” you blurt out. maybe if you annoy him more, he would let it go– seeing how he is not putting up with your shit earlier, you don’t think he would take this any further either.

however, he scoffs hearing your witty answer because you are actually pushing his buttons instead. “wrong answer, brat.”

ukai forces you down on your knees by the wrist and quickly unbuckles his belt, dropping down his jeans and boxers together at just the right length to only be able take out his cock. he grabs you by the hair and yanks you forward, “now, suck.”

“w-wait–”

“did i fucking stutter?” he warns as he tugs your hair tighter and it stings you a bit.

you think it is best to quickly oblige so you take his cock in your hands, your tongue teasingly licks the bead of precum on the tip. ukai breathes out a mixture of a frustrated and relieved groan at the tease, causing him to push your head closer while he bucks his hips forwards to shove more of his throbbing cock inside your mouth and causing you to gag a little as he hits the back of your throat.

“fuck– that’ll make you shut up. come on. show me what that pretty little mouth can do.” you bob your head faster along his cock, your hand fondles his balls while the other presses on his length to add pressure. he throws his head back and grips your hair tighter each time he lets out a breathy moan.

a lewd pop sound slips out from your mouth as he pulls his cock away. ukai’s lips curls into a grin as you look up at him with glassy eyes and your mascara a bit smudged. beautiful, he thought, just the way he likes it.

“get up, slut.”

you comply submissively, slowly getting back up and let him push and bend you against the counter. ukai lifts up your skirt, smirking as he sees a dark patch formed on your panties, he can’t help but to tease your wet slit by circling his fingers against the thin fabric.

you feel a wave of anticipation at the soft touch that your breathing begins to hitch. you glance at the clock on the wall, 20 more minutes before the shop closes. what are the odds that people will still come in at this hour?

“so fucking wet already. what am i gonna do with you?”

you want him to take you right there and then but you want him to stop at the same time, in fear that customers might still come into the shop and the thoughts are colliding with each other.

“kei– there’s still a few minutes left…” by the look of your face, your half-lidded eyes, ukai knows that you actually want this.

“and what about it?” he teases as he pulls your panties to the side and slips one finger inside your sloppy cunt. “wouldn’t you like it if people see you being fucked so hard like a little whore?” his finger is pushing in and out repetitively before putting in another finger and continues fingering you mercilessly.

having ukai to finger you like this in public feels so good– actually better than you imagine. the thought of not trying to get caught having your legs spread out for this man is giving you a rush of excitement as you try to hold your moans down your throat.

unfortunately, ukai is not happy about it and begins to rub his thumb on your clit. “let me hear you, baby. you didn’t seem to mind when you were shouting at me earlier.”

“i’m– ah– sorry..” you begin, between breaths.

“sorry what?” you shut your eyes close as your hips subconsciously buck towards his fingers, only to have him pull them out instantly. with his other hand, he presses your cheeks again and forces you to look at him.

“i’m sorry, daddy.” you plea.

“you look so pretty like this, princess. but your attitude displeased me.” he loves having control over all of you and keeping you grounded. “you wanna cum?”

“please.”

“do it yourself.” ukai steps back and watches you sit up on the counter with trembling legs and struggle to make yourself cum only from pumping your own fingers inside your wet cunt.

“you’re so wet, princess. i don’t think you need my cock for that.” he continues with prying eyes as he watches you with lustful eyes, one of his hand pumping his hard cock as your body arches and trembles in front of him, trying to push yourself to edge but with no avail.

“daddy, i want to cum.”

“and how am i supposed to do that?” he coos.

“please, daddy. i need your fat cock inside me.”

with one swift movement, ukai pulls down your panties and lifts one of your legs up to his shoulder, spreading your thighs apart. just as much as he likes to make you wait and begging for his thick cock, how could he not fuck you immediately? he can’t make himself wait either.

the shop begins to be filled by your restricted moans, careful not to let any possible people outside the shop to hear you as ukai fucks you shamelessly. you have your elbows to support your uncomfortable posture but you pay no mind to it as his cock fills every inch of you, reaching for the very place that your own fingers can’t. the both of you start to hear faint chatters from outside and you hope that they are just passing by.

however, ukai takes this chance to quicken his pace.

“let me hear you, baby. tell everyone– ah– how good daddy makes you feel.” he says between grunts while he starts to rub and press down your clit with his thumb.

“daddy, please, please, please–” you whisper, fists clenching to nothing, toes curling in your shoes. your eyes glances towards the door as the chatters and footsteps outside start to become gradually louder with each passing second.

“look at me,” ukai spanks your thigh, “wanna give them a show?”

“no..” you mutter through soft moans. though the thought of getting caught red handed is humiliating, it’s also arousing to you and your walls start to clench tighter around his cock.

“god, you’re getting tighter– you like that huh?” he hisses. “such a fucking slut.”

you can feel your juices dripping down his length as he adjusts his angle before giving you more intense thrusts that just hit the right places at the right pace. your legs are trembling and you can feel that you are getting closer to an orgasm and at this point, you can’t be bothered to worry anymore as your mouth lolls open to chant his name in a chorus.

you can feel that ukai is also getting close as you are as you feel him throbbing inside you. having his teeth nibbling on your thigh is enough to push you over the edge and your mouth opens in a silent scream as you cum hard. he smirks proudly and gives a couple more thrusts before he also winds up to a state of euphoria himself with his hot ropes of cum filling up your cunt.

panting, ukai waits for a second to finish before pulling himself out and puts on his pants before helping to adjust your clothes.

“you’re an idiot.” you push yourself off the counter and lightly punch him on the chest, earning a small chuckle from the male– the first time you heard today.

“call me that again and we are gonna have round two, brat.”

“coach!” an orange-haired boy beams as he opens the door, sending a jolt of surprise to the two of you. from the looks of his face, you manage to conclude that he didn’t hear or even had the slightest clue about what happened. you sigh in relief.

“what? shop’s closed!” ukai quickly says before ushering the poor boy out.

#ukai x reader #haikyuu #haikyuu!!#keishin ukai #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!! x reader #ukai keishin #hq #hq!!#haikyuu fic #haikyuu!! fic #fic rec haikyuu #haikyuu smut #haikyuu!! smut #ukai smut #hq!! smut #robinwrites #r; writes #tw; dubcon

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missskzbiased · 3 years

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Eggy First Date

Summary: You can’t seem to catch a break this week. You’ve run out of eggs, visibly stained your living room carpet with grape juice, and worst of all: your laundry machine has broken down. Such an event has resulted in you awkwardly shuffling your dirty clothes to the nearest laundromat, but hey, at least the boy using the machine next to you is cute!

WC: 2,3 K

Requested: By Stayndays <3 Thank you, Buddy!

Genre: Slice of Life, Fluff, Humor (?)

AUs: College, (Implied) Classmates to Lovers, Crushes, Kinda Friends to Lovers

Pairing: Yang Jeongin X GN! Reader

Rebloggable Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Warnings: Mentions of food, Language (Crap/Shit)

////

Yep… Turns out it’s impossible to fix one’s life in a few hours.

You should have known better than letting everything pile up like that, but now it was a little bit too late to be sorry. As your phone insisted on reminding you ─ alarm shouting for anyone to hear ─, your parents should arrive at your apartment in about two hours. It didn’t sound too bad when you put it like this, but when you think in perspective, it’s kinda easy to see why you’re screwed up…

The first problem: You have no eggs.

It may not sound that alarming, but you promised your mom to flex your culinary skills and bake her favorite cake as soon as she came to visit you. Funnily enough, when you tried to fix some scrambled eggs on Tuesday ─ a hopeful attempt to eat anything other than cup noodles ─ you had to drop half of them to your recently cleaned floor. In other words, not only you had to clean your floor again but you also had only four eggs to make your lunch and survive the week… Which meant you ran out of eggs by Wednesday.

Now, you didn’t have to be a genius to know that having no eggs meant no favorite cake for your mom… And as much as having no cake didn’t sound like the end of the world, it was only the beginning. No cake meant questions, and questions meant answers, and answers meant you would have to either tell them the truth or lie to them… Unfortunately, you couldn’t tell them the truth or else you would expose your Thursday’s mistake, but we’ll get to that later.

That being said, you were left with two options: Lie to them ─ and risk being caught ─ or buy fresh eggs to bake her a cake. It was needless to say that you went with the last one. However, by Wednesday night ─ when, despite having no eggs, you had finals to worry about ─, buying your groceries after your exams, on Friday, sounded like the perfect plan. And it kinda was… At least for the next 24H that followed it, before you managed to screw everything up on Thursday.

The second problem: Grape juice.

You were stressed out, alright?! You had only one more day to go with your exams and it may or may not have gotten to your head. So drinking grape juice on the couch ─ since you had no actual food to eat and have been feeding on liquids ─ while watching a 20 minutes episode of Brooklyn 99 was a good way to relax. Perhaps, you should act more like the nonfunctional college student that you were. This way, you would be studying in your room instead of missing the coffee table as you laughed; spilling your juice on the carpet.

Of course, it couldn’t be a normal carpet that was totally replaceable… No, it had to be the very own carpet your grandma gifted to your father when he moved out… It happened to be the same one her mother gave to her when she moved out as well! Of course, it had to be this one and not the stupid carpet on your bathroom that meant absolutely nothing. It had to be the carpet your father gifted to you while saying that this new journey full of responsibilities ─ also called miserable college life ─ would be blessed by your previous generations or whatever!

Basically, you just drowned your whole family in cheap juice that tasted like purple! Because of a joke! A joke that wasn’t even that good! It definitely wasn’t worth it.

Whatever was the necessary skill to remove a stain from a carpet, you didn’t have it. And you didn’t have the time to learn it either. So, as a desperate student, you did the best you could: Blot the liquid with a wet cloth, pour about half of the ocean over the spot, mix the most random stuff you had, soak the carpet overnight, and go off to sleep so you wouldn’t botch your finals.

The third problem: The Rise of the Machines.

When you got home after your exams ─ no eggs, ‘cause your mind was too focused on saving the carpet ─, you were still hopeful that everything was going to be okay. The Internet blessed you with the ultimate knowledge to remove any stains from a sacred carpet and you followed each step as if your life depended on it. Because it did. You did such an amazing job that the spotless area turned into a clean spot on the dirty carpet… And that, dearest friends, was the real problem.

It was exactly 10:27 PM when you decided to shove your carpet into the washing machine and go downstairs to buy a burger on your friend’s stand. It was about 11:13 PM when you got back to your place, happily fed and unworried about your life. It took you less than a minute to have all of your happiness fading away as you saw that the foam spilled over the floor, bringing you a sad realization: Your washing machine had failed you.

In other words, you had a damp, dirty carpet to save, a dozen eggs to buy, a cake to bake, and a lie to keep in the next… Twelve hours or something. And you needed to sleep for at least half of that time. But that was okay! Everything was fine… You had six hours to fix your entire life tomorrow, right? Yeah… Except that not really, no. Because obviously ─ how didn’t you see that coming? ─, your phone had decided to not wake you up the next morning.

The fourth problem: Your parents.

The two hours ahead of you could mean twenty minutes or even a second… Knowing your parents, they could be standing right in front of your door, ringing your bell and asking themselves why you weren’t home. The answer would be because you were at the laundromat next to your building, which wasn’t the cheapest one but it was the closest thing you had to a miracle right now. Well, it would be, if the washing machine actually gave a shit about your struggles.

As the water slowly spilled over your carpet ─ instead of being gushed to soak the damn thing ─, you let your shoulders drop and a sigh escape from your lips. You didn’t know if you felt more relieved for finally having things working out or defeated for having to go through all of this. The exhausted eyes you met in your reflection were a good hint, though, and you got closer to the glass door to rest your forehead on the cold surface and take a small break. At least ─ as long as your parents didn’t arrive before the drying cycle ─, they would never know about the truth and everything should be just fine… You wouldn’t need to worry about being kicked out from the family.

“Crap” You grumbled, mindlessly knocking your head on the door on repeat.

“Tough day, huh?” The soft voice was familiar, but the warm hand preventing you from hitting the glass again wasn’t. You frowned before turning to check if you weren’t going crazy. To your misfortune, the cute boy smiling sympathetically at you was exactly who you thought it was “That’s bad for you” He pointed out, chuckling as he watched you snapping your head away from his hand.

“Hey!” You blurted; face burning to the thought of him seeing you like this. Why everything had to go so wrong in your life?! Why did Jeongin have to see you wearing the most sloppy outfit you could ever wear? Your hands flew to your hair to try and fix the nest on top of your head “What’s up?” You huffed playfully; hitting his shoulder lightly in the most unnatural way that you could.

Way to go, Y/N! Humiliate yourself in front of your crush!

“Just washing some stuff” He shrugged, pointing to the machine next to yours, “You don’t usually come here, though… Well, at least, I never saw you here before” He mused, arching his brow “Are you following me around now?” He whispered teasingly, cupping his hand around his mouth as he smirked at you.

“What?! No!” You panicked, widening your eyes and floundering your hands in the air “I’m not, I swear!” You insisted as he stared at you mockingly, “If anything you’re the one following me! I live nearby! Where do you live?! Is it even close?!” You defended yourself vehemently; poking his chest as you visibly lost your mind.

“I’m joking, jeez!” He chortled, rubbing his torso “Calm down, Y/N… It’s your neighborhood, I know” He reassured you, squeezing your shoulder and chuckling as you relaxed under his touch “I was just trying to make you feel better” He explained; hand sliding to pat your back “What’s up? Did you mess up on your exams?” Jeongin asked; tone wandering around curiosity and worry.

“No… I did just fine” You sighed; getting him to tilt his head in confusion ─ he’s so cute scrunching his nose like this! ─ while you smiled at him, getting back to your senses.

It was just Jeongin, for Lord’s sake… He was your classmate! He had seen you look way worse than this before, if you were being honest. Which wasn’t that reassuring now that you think about it… But anyway! He had seen you drooling all over your desk, and snoring, and looking like a zombie! There was nothing to worry about… Even if he kinda is really cute and you kinda have a crush on him.

“Wanna talk about it?” He offered friendly. Did he really have to be this kind and bubbly while smiling at you? Couldn’t he be a little bit less cute? Or just look like a normal human being while doing his laundry? Like having messy hair… Or messy clothes… Or dark circles under his eyes… Or just not look this fresh and perfect and… “Y/N?” He called unsurely, waving his hand in front of your eyes.

“Sorry” You rushed to say, ducking your head between your shoulders “I... I mean, there’s a lot going on in my mind now” It wasn’t exactly a lie, but it wasn’t quite the truth. You were just thinking about him, but he didn’t need to know that, “Mom and Dad are going to come and visit me today… I promised to bake her a cake, but I ran out of eggs” Now you were just spilling whatever was on your mind, hm? It probably didn’t even make sense for him.

“And you thought doing your laundry could get you some?” He joked confusedly, laughing as you pouted at him.

“No…” You whined, kicking him lightly “I knocked my grape juice on the family’s sacred carpet… So I’m trying to make it look okay or else my dad is going to kill me” You explained further, pinching the bridge of your nose “But they’re coming and I still have to buy those damn eggs, and bake this damn cake, and wash this damn—”

“Hey, hey” He shushed you, holding both of your shoulders to prompt you to look into his eyes. They held a thousand million stars… But that wasn’t really the point “Everything’s good, okay? Why don’t we go to buy some eggs, then you go and bake your cake?” He suggested calmly, massaging your skin as he smiled reassuringly “I can take care of your laundry… Mine is here anyway” He chuckled, seeing the way your eyes lit up to his plan “I can get it to your house before they get there… They’ll never know” He promised.

“No way” You chirped; hands jolting to his face and grabbing his cheeks firmly “Jeongin” You said seriously; eyes unwavering as you stared right into his “You’re my hero” You stated matter-of-factly, enticing a wide grin from him “I owe you my life, I mean it” You concluded, quickly letting go of his face.

What were you doing?!

“Ask me on a date and we’re even” He joked.

“Don’t be silly” You rolled your eyes, pretending not to be affected by his friendly banter.

“Fair enough… So go out with me on a date and we’re even” He smirked; eyes glinting amusedly as you let your mouth fall agape to his request. You took a while to react properly, and the growing silence seemed to get into Jeongin’s head, “I mean… I’d like to if that’s okay with you…” He shrugged, gulping down nervously “I’ve been wanting to… I was going to ask… I was just waiting for…” He floundered, clearing his throat to make it less obvious.

“Well, if it makes us even…” You fought back your smile, watching as his anxiety dissolved into relief before he beamed at you “I guess I’d love to go on a date with you...” He laughed wholeheartedly, taking your hands in his “What about next week?” You suggested coyly, enjoying the warmth of his touch.

“What about now?” He grinned like a fox.

“Have you listened to what I said before?” You chortled “I have to buy some eggs and –” You began to enumerate on your fingers, but he giggled playfully, interrupting you.

“You know what’s funny?” He smirked “My dream was to buy some eggs with you as a first date… I don’t think we’ll ever get this chance again” The corner of his lips twitched; dimples showing as he looked fondly at you “Shall we?” He asked in mocking politeness, extending his arm for you to take.

“I must say you have such a weird taste…” You hummed, studying his extended arm amusedly “But you’re cute, so it’s all forgiven” You shrugged, chuckling as he locked his arm with yours and took the lead to find a grocery store nearby.

#skz fanfics #skz x reader #skz fluff #kpopcatalog #districtninewriters #stray kids fanfics #jeongin x reader #stray kids fluff #stray kids x reader #skz scenarios #skz imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids imagines #jeongin fanfic #jeongin fluff #jeongin imagines #jeongin scenarios

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somerpmemes · 4 years

Text

Wizards of Waverly Place S1 Starters

Change as needed

“I don’t care about you, or your shoes.”

“Well, it doesn’t sound like you’re gonna back me up on this.”

“Yeah, I don’t see how this could possibly go wrong.”

“Wow, I’m impressed. You’re becoming more like me every day.”

“Now that we’ve got safety out of the way, let’s rock.”

“This is your size, go try it on.”

“I told you we should’ve read the manual!”

“Why didn’t you kiss her?!”

“Look, ___, you know a lot of stuff about stuff people don’t care about.”

“I find it hard to believe that you think I find that hard to believe.”

“If I go back in time and look into a crystal ball, will I see me looking into this crystal ball?”

“Why don’t you take my advice, lots of people do!”

“You keep saying you know things and you don’t.”

“Well, I guess if you break a rule 17 times, an eighteenth doesn’t make a difference.”

“Alright, for educational purposes, we’ll do this.”

“You don’t know what goes in my mouth!”

“I told you not to trust me with a complicated plan like this!”

“I’m taking this all as a yes.”

“Who do I have to kick in the can to get some nachos?”

“Oh, this isn’t as fun a game as I thought.”

“We should get our stories straight before the owner comes in.”

“It’s so hard being me.”

“Okay, dude, you gotta stop doing that.”

“You’re making it so hard to be excited about something!”

“You’re kinda scaring me a little, but I’m feeling a lot of respect.”

“What’s more courteous than magic? Nothing.”

“I don’t believe it, your misguided plan actually worked!”

“What!? How!? When!? Who!?”

“Dangerous is good.”

“That was never funny.”

“You are not gonna guilt me into this.”

“What would you crash into in a cloud?”

“You don’t learn by teaching, you learn by doing.”

“We’ll talk later about why that doesn’t make me feel better.”

“I don’t know what you did, but thanks.”

“Remember? We don’t like each other.”

“Oh, but that was back when we were young and foolish.”

“I don’t mean to sound unsupportive but ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND, WOMAN!?”

“Can you at least stop shaking your leg, I’m trying to concentrate.”

“Oh honey, you sound like you want to talk about your problems.”

“I thought you were gonna be supportive.

“What are you wearing those gloves for?”

“___ looks way prettier than me! I’m gonna talk her into a bad haircut.”

“Oh, now we’re doing short jokes?”

“You know what I wanna do? I wanna break this.”

“I know this isn’t going the way you wanted to but this had to happen.”

“I’ll always protect you, it’s what we do.”

“Now, what do you want to do with that cake?”

“Now beat it, kid. I’m in the middle of the sale.”

“Here’s a roll of quarters, knock yourself out.”

“I’m allergic to sadness.”

“Come on, ___, you picked now to be responsible?”

“Look kid, you played the game and you lost.”

“Do you have a better idea? Didn’t think so.”

“It has been a pleasure scamming you.”

“Have you ever really considered the concept of infinity?”

“Don’t act like that’s a real thing, I just made that up.”

“Can’t you just look the other way?”

“Just stay in character and scream when it’s your turn.”

“There are some things in this life that you can never unsee.”

“This place could be burning and I wouldn’t even know it.”

“I like the way I deal with problems.”

“Stop trying to be cool.”

“Your mess, your responsibility.”

“You are so undisciplined.”

“Great, we’re accessorizing ugly.”

“Are you locked out?”

“That wasn’t really meant for you, sorry.”

“This place is a freak show.”

“Is there someone you want to compare me to?”

“I guess it’s just you, me, and destiny.”

“I’m a walking health code violation.”

“Can someone please stop me!?”

“You always know the right wrong thing to do.”

“I’m gonna be your good luck charm.”

“This stuff is starting to burn, is that bad?”

“Either you’re really excited or your underwear’s on too tight.”

“Wow, you’re mad inside and out.”

“Relax, I’ve been in way worse situations than this.”

“I think that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”

“Only a stupid person would think that my stupid thing was stupider than your stupid thing!”

“This is my problem, not yours. Don’t let me drag you down.”

“I deserve whatever punishment you’re about to give me.”

“Well, you’re unusually opinionated.”

“You have got to stop pitching that.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve rewired my brain so they come across as compliments.”

“There are some times you should lie, to me and everyone. This is one of those times.”

“Like I’m not gonna tell anyone about that on the internet.”

“This is gonna be a great story to tell.”

“___, leave my face alone.”

“It’s my party, I can cancel it if I want to.”

“If I see so much as a scratch on that bike, someone’s gonna eat spokes!”

“If I can make salsa, I can dance the salsa.”

“There’s only one way out: we have to break each other’s legs.”

“These high heels are lame, get them off me.”

“Wow that was lame and I’m ashamed.”

“Is there something wrong with your neck?”

“You’ll supervise me, I’ll supervise you, how is that unsupervised?”

“If I don’t see it, I can say I didn’t see it.”

“I think you fell in love with yourself.”

“I can’t think of anything wrong with me.”

“Sloppy, sloppy work.”

“I’m nobody’s second choice because I’m a prize.”

“I don’t know why we’re nodding.”

“We are in no way okay.”

“Wait a minute, are those shoes too small?”

“___, just say it’s cool.”

#long post #wizards of waverly place #rp #rp starters #starters #sentence starters #sentence starter meme

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heartofsnark · 5 years

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The Brat’s Birthday (Tsuneko/Platonic Bidders)

Notes: October 27th is Tsuneko’s birthday, as such I’ve written a little one-shot type deal about her first birthday with the bidders. We’re kinda going on Voltage rules of yeah, it’s her birthday, no it doesn’t affect main plot and she’ll just turn 22 every year forever

Summary: It’s Tsuneko’s first birthday since she was sold at that auction, she doesn’t expect it to be any different than any of her other birthdays these past couple years. But, the bidders are never the type to meet her expectations.

Pairing: Tsuneko isn’t with anyone, it’s pretty platonic, but if you look you can see ship teases of Tsuneko/Eisuke and Tsuneko/Baba (They basically get the most love from her in this)

Word Count: 3124

Warnings: Cursing, hatred of Gudetama and....cake? It’s pretty much just fluff.

Cool autumn air fills Tsuneko’s lungs as she makes her way to employee housing, she stops off at her little mailbox in the lobby, it’s practically stuffed full. It’s all coupons and gift offers for her birthday, companies she uses often shoving discounts at her. It’s her birthday tomorrow, October 27th. There’s nothing from her dad, even though she made up an excuse for him to send things to her new address. He’s going to be late this year. She chuckles at the thought, she adores her dad, but he has the memory of a goldfish and always forgets her birthday. It’s either early or late every year. Her mom was the one who always had to keep him on track with dates.

“Hey, Tsuneko,” Sakiko suddenly speaks out and Tsuneko casually holds the mail to her chest, hiding what they are.

“Hey,” she doesn’t want to mention her birthday, but it might be nice to hang out on the day, “are you doing anything after work tomorrow?”

“Yeah, actually, I’m going to a mixer, gonna try to score myself a hottie.”

“Oh, do you know if Chisato is up to anything?”

“I’m pretty sure her and Itsuki are going out to a concert or something, guess it’s just gonna be you and Kiyo, sorry.”

“Eh, worst things have happened to better people.”

Their conversation ends, a small pang in Tsuneko’s chest, that she curses for existing. She has no right to be hurt, she’s spent most of her birthdays without anything or anyone. It’s stupid to act like a baby about it. Tsuneko spends her night cuddling with Kiyo and taking advantage of birthday coupons, maybe she’ll buy herself some cake tomorrow. She doesn’t need an excuse for cake, but she might as well take advantage since she has one.

Morning and her birthday arrive, nothing out of the usual. Until Kenzaki pulls her aside and asks her to skip the morning cleaning of the penthouse.

“Why?”

“The penthouse guests had a late night and would rather not be bothered until this evening.”

“Okay…”

She shakes her head, but goes on about her day, knowing those dumbasses they got shitfaced last night and are hung over. One less trip there just means less of a headache for her. Tsuneko gets to work; cleaning rooms, making bed, helping out guests, and every other mundane thing her job entails. Her customer service smile never dropping despite the childish ache in her heart.

It’s her own fault, she knows that. She never tells anyone her birthday, the only two people who know her birthday are her dad and Shinobu. A man with a terrible memory and a man that’s just plain terrible. But logically knowing something doesn’t stop the little pang she gets as the hours move on and on with nothing out of the ordinary.

Her pager buzzes in her pocket, oh god, now this shit.

“Penthouse, five minutes.”

“Stay out of the penthouse, rush up to the penthouse, make up your mind asshole!”

If he heard her bitching, he doesn’t dignify it with a response, and she starts her way up to the penthouse. Assuming she was right, and the dumbasses did binge drink or go nuts last night, she’s going to have her work cut out for her, cleaning it up. She can see the mess in her head already and a migraine is already building in her temples. Tsuneko makes it to the lounge and a little over five minutes, because fuck Ichinomiya.

“Happy birthday!”

Voices ring out along with loud pops, confetti and glitter spraying into Tsuneko’s face and hair. She blinks a few time, thankful no glitter found its way into her eyes yet. Baba and Kisaki have party poppers, there’s a banner up that says happy birthday, Tsuneko with a painting of a dog beside the text.

No.

Not from them, nope.

“Bye.” Tsuneko promptly turns around and tries to leave the penthouse, but Baba wraps his arms around her in a bear hug just to lift her up and spin her back around.

“We went through all this trouble and you’re trying to leave, that’s not even fair, Koro.”

“I didn’t see you doing anything,” Oh calls him out,

“I painted the banner, otherwise Baba would have covered it in hearts or some other garbage.”

“It’s okay, I plan on showing Tsuneko my love in other ways.”

“Like holding me hostage?” She glares up at him and he finally lets her go, she doesn’t run, clearly, they’re not letting this go.

“Take a seat, princess, you don’t need to lift a finger for the rest of the night.” She rolls her eyes, well aware that if it’s not tonight, then tomorrow she’ll be cleaning up glitter which is a nightmare in itself. Nonetheless, she plops herself into a chair.

“Ain’t kids supposed to be excited on their birthday, stop pouting.”

“I’m not pouting,” she says with a pout.

“Happy birthday to you~ Happy Birthday to you~” Baba brings out a cake, candles alight on top of it as he sings.

“Baba, you’re the only one singing, it’s just sad.” She presses a hand to her face, hiding the small flush on her cheeks, it’s sweet, cringey but sweet.

“Blow out the candles, princess.”

She wishes to get out being owned by them, the only thing that pops into her head, and blows them out. It’d be nice if blowing out candles actually granted wishes.

“What did you wish for?” Kisaki asks her.

“To get as far away from you lot as possible.”

“Well, if you tell someone it won’t come true, so that’s great news for us,” Baba teases as he starts to cut out pieces of the cake, she rolls her eyes, “here made with love.”

“Gross.”

But she’s already taking a bite, despite his sappiness. She can’t help the noise of pleasure as she takes a bite, sweet vanilla cake and chocolate chip cookie dough flavors mingling on her tongue.

“Do you like it?” Baba’s grinning because he already knows the answer, little shit that he is.

“You’re really good at baking.”

“Well, the way to a woman’s heart is through her stomach.”

“Then you go and ruin it with that shit.”

“Can we drink now?” Kishi buts in, more concerned with how sober he is at the moment than being pleasant.

“I’ll get the drinks,” Baba says, it’s starting to feel like he’s the errand boy when she’s not around and guilt eats at her heart that she’s just sitting while he runs around.

“I can h-”

“Nope, you aren’t lifting a finger, Tsuneko.” She sighs, watching him play busy bee while the others relax with no concern.

“You guys are just using my birthday as an excuse to get drunk, aren’t you?”

“Took you long enough.”

She rolls her eyes as Baba comes back into the lounge, serving the other men booze while he puts a mug of what smells like Chai Latte in front of her. Tsuneko didn’t even need to tell him that she wouldn’t want to drink, he just knows. It’s either sweet or creepy, she’s not sure. She murmurs a thanks and takes a drink, before a question pops into her head.

“Does the Hatter know it’s my birthday?” She knows he rarely if ever leaves the tearoom, but she hates that he might be getting completely left out of the celebration.

Kisaki lets out a loud groan, annoyed by her even mentioning the Hatter. Then she sees Ichinomiya smirking.

“Told you,” the hotel owner says as Kisaki hands him money.

“I thought she could at least go a day without mentioning that freak.”

“This is why you don’t bet against Eisuke.”

“Look here, you-”

“I told Maddy about your party,” Baba cuts her off, “he didn’t want to leave Wonderland, but he got you a present and wanted you to have a late party with him tomorrow.”

“He got me a present?” She can’t help but smile, knowing the Hatter, it’s something weird but sweet.

“We all did, of course.”

“You did?” She can’t help her confusion, the party is one thing, Baba basically did everything, and they all got an excuse to drink. But, each of them getting her a gift seems like more effort than she expected.

“What kind of cheapskate, do you take me for?” Ichinomiya sneers and shoots her a look of pure offense; how dare she even imply he wouldn’t buy someone a birthday gift.

“Knowing Eisuke, you won’t want his gift,” Oh warns her.

“Oh god, I didn’t even think of you all getting me purposely awful gifts,” dread settles in her stomach, “I think it’s time for me to go.”

Baba puts a hand on her shoulder and doesn’t let her get up, she pouts. This is going to be awful, nothing but insulting or degrading gifts, save for Baba’s and the Hatter’s.

“Don’t be like that princess, here, do you wanna open Maddy’s gift first.”

It’s a little box, wrapped neatly in teal and blue. She opens it carefully, inside is a little drawstring bag and a note. Tsuneko grabs the note first, the Japanese writing is rough and a little sloppy, he’s not great at it. Even that makes her smile, she can imagine how much effort he put in getting this as right as he could.

Dear Alice,

The happiest of birthdays to you~ I’m sorry I couldn’t leave Wonderland to celebrate with you, I’m afraid I’m just not capable of it. I hope you’ll come down tomorrow and we can celebrate then; you, me, and Cheshire of course. The gift I sent with Baba is more so from Cheshire than me, I’d rather save my present for you when we can meet in person. But, just a day or two ago, Cheshire came back from her walk with this beautiful stone. The moment I held it up to the light, I saw spectrums of violets and amethyst that reminded me of your eyes. I knew it must have been meant as a gift for you, Cheshire and I care for you deeply and hope you have the happiest of days today~

Her heart melts, that he would be so convinced that Cheshire was getting her a present. She undoes the little drawstring and find a rock, rough and jagged but she can see the glimmers of purple that he spoke about. Every little bit of dread she had about the others is gone.

“He got you a rock.” Kisaki says in disbelief.

“His cat got me a rock.”

“So, he didn’t get you anything?” Kishi chimes in.

“Now, now, we don’t need to question Tsuneko and the Hatter’s special relationship,” she glares, not liking the way Baba says special, “now, this one is from me.”

“At least the bar is set low,” Kisaki grumbles as she starts to unwrap Baba’s gift, his wrapped in red.

She expects something gross from Baba, either over the top sappy or something sexual. So, she’s pleasantly surprised when she sees a purse. It’s soft white, rectangular with a baby blue spade on it, meant to look like an ace of spades card. She was complaining just a week or so ago about how the strap on her favorite purse had snapped.

“It’s so cute!”

“I couldn’t find one with a three of spades card, but it still looks adorable on you.”

“Thank you, this is actually really practical and nice.” She’s already tucking the Hatter’s letter and Cheshire’s rock into the purse for safe keeping. Tsuneko is dreading the rest of these gifts.

“My gift next, I worked really hard and handmade this, so you better appreciate it, Koro.”

“It’s a collar isn’t it?” She cuts through the bullshit, not trusting dog boy for even a second. The glare and pout she gets tells her she’s right, this fucker really made her a collar.

“Just open it.”

She’s less careful opening this one, but once again she finds herself pleasantly surprised. She expected an actual dog collar with the buckle and a name tag, but instead it looks distinctly more like a fashionable choker. A soft baby pink band and a little gold heart shaped medal on it. It looks like something she’d actually wear.

“I hate that this is cute.”

“You think I’d give my pet something ugly?” Kisaki is the second one to sneer at her today.

“I’m not your pet, ass-”

“Who wants to go next?” Baba is once again there to stop the part from being a screaming match, he should

“We’re saving the best for last,” Ichinomiya comments, not moving to give his gift, clearly convinced his is the best. Knowing him it’s expensive and stupid.

“Here, brat,” Kishi throws what looks like a gas station plastic bag at her, she peers inside seeing four gashapon capsules you get from coin machines.

“Really, Mamo,” Baba scolds, but Kishi is snickering.

“What, kids love those kinds of toys.”

She pops open the first one, a little Hello Kitty figure, maybe it was a Sanrio themed machine? The second is Cinnamoroll, so that’s nice, she’s not crazy about figures as a whole. Tsuneko has always preferred stuffed animals, she’d rather they be nice to hug and cuddle with. But, she can’t deny how cute the characters are in any form. Next figure is Pompompurin, another cutie. Fourth and last one she pops open and her face falls, Gudetama. Ugh. By far her least favorite Sanrio character. Who thought an egg man was a good idea?

Not one to hide how she feels, she throws the Gudetama mini figure right into the trash. Everyone except Kishi, burst into laughter at the admittedly childish display of unappreciativeness, but she hates that fucking yolk man.

“What’d you do that for?”

“It was Gudetama.”

“So, you just throw away part of my gift?”

“Sanrio characters are supposed to be cute. If I wanted to be around something ugly and lazy, I’d just spend time with you.”

“You fucking brat.”

“Sor, you’re next,” Baba’s back at damage control duty.

“Here,” he tosses what looks to be a bullet proof vest at her, “you’ll need this for when you mouth off to the wrong person, again.”

“Those aren’t the kind of gifts you give women, Sor.”

“It’s practical, especially for her.”

“Thanks, I guess…”

“I can help test out it’s effectiveness if you want,” he says with the sinister little smirk he gets sometimes, she’s sure he’d love an excuse to shoot her over and over again.

“I’m good.”

“Well, that leaves you, Boss.”

“It’s not much, but here,” Ichinomiya shoves an envelope at her.

She tears it open and pulls out the document inside, her eyes go wide when she reads it. How did he, what? Tsuneko blinks a couple times as if that will change the document and reveal what it really his, but no matter what it doesn’t change.

“He probably bought her a deed to some land.”

“Or a company.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, those can wait for her next birthday, which I have no doubt she’ll be spending with us again.” He’s smirking but her usual desire to hit him is absent in the light of his gift.

“You payed off my student loans?” She asks, despite having the proof of it in her hand.

“That’s not even fair, Boss, how am I supposed to compete with that?”

“You aren’t.”

The back and forth between him and Baba is just white noise to her. She really didn’t think she’d ever get out from under her student loan debt, a huge factor in why she hasn’t tried to get back into school. But, just like that Ichinomiya wiped the debt clean. She could question it, how he got the information and clearance to do. Or this could be a ploy to get more control of her. But she doesn’t question or ruminate on any of that, instead she throws her arms around him in a sudden move, hugging him tight to her.

“Ah,” he makes a small noise of surprise, taken aback by the sudden affection, she finally managed to surprise him, “is that all it took to get you to throw yourself at me?”

“I’m too happy to yell at you, thank you, thank you so much,” she gushes as she nuzzles her face into his chest, she can feel his hands hesitant on her back, like a part of him wants to hug her back but he’s unsure if he should. Who knew one hug is all it would take to make to unnerve him?

“It wasn’t that much, besides I own you, so your debt became mine and I don’t like having debts.”

“Don’t care.” She finally pulls away after another squeeze of Ichinomiya’s thin frame, he’s so bony. Tsuneko thinks she catches a hint of red in his face, maybe he’s drunk too much or is overheating?

“You know, I could have paid those off for you too, pretty lady,” Baba says, and she wonders if he wishes he had gotten a hug.

It does seem unfair, when she thinks about it. Baba went to the trouble of all of this, but Ichinomiya is the one who got a hug just because he decided to go all out on her gift. He deserves more appreciation, as much fun as it is to tease him, he deserves some genuine affection.

“But, you didn’t,” Ichinomiya retorts, but his smirk falls when Tsuneko has her arms around Baba next.

“Thank you for doing all of this, I really appreciate it.”

He wraps his arms tight around her, surer and more confident in showing affection than Ichinomiya was.

“Anything for you, princess.”

“Ugh, get a room.” Kisaki pretends to gag at the sight of them and then Baba unceremoniously lifts her up. She can’t control the flush of heat in her face at being picked up, it’s rare that people can manage to lift her. Ichinomiya was able to do it for a brief time before, but he seemed to be struggling. Baba, however, has no trouble.

“If you insist,” he teases and acts like he’s going to pack her off into another room, not without spinning her around in his arms and making her laugh. She playfully hits his shoulder between her giggles and he instead dramatically drops into the chair she was sitting in, Tsuneko in his lap. The rest of the men are smiling or cracking up at his antics too.

Her heart is lighter than it has been in years. She never thought she’d feel this happy and content with this group of idiots, but here she is. Despite everything, it’s the best birthday she’s had in years.

#kissed by the baddest bidder #kbtbb #black market wonderland #tsuneko tomori #eisuke ichinomiya #Mitsunari Baba #Soryu Oh #mamoru kishi #Ota Kisaki

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superfreakerz · 5 years

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TDDUP 24

"Til Death Do Us Part"

Rated M for smut and heavy themes.

Summary: There are immortals and there are those who reincarnate, but it's best to keep these things hidden. Lucy is attending college and meets Natsu, a boy with pink hair, a devilish smile, and a body that never ages.

Read earlier chapters on FF.net

Chapter 24

Jellal's Birthday

"You should've seen her. She literally woke up, puked her guts out, and started crying," Natsu said, staring up at his ceiling.

Gray let out a low whistle. "Must've been a pretty scary dream."

He sat up, turning towards his roommate. A frown rested on his face as he said, "That's the thing. I'm beginning to wonder if that's all it was."

"What do you mean?"

"When I told her none of it was real, she said that it really was. I didn't really think much about it then, but I'm starting to wonder if she had a nightmare about something real."

"Why don't you just ask?"

"You don't think I've tried? Every time I try to bring it up, she just keeps changing the subject. It's obvious she doesn't wanna talk about it."

"Then just leave it alone,"

Natsu furrowed his brows. "Leave it alone? How can I just leave it alone? She was crying."

"Not everything has to be talked about," Gray said with a shrug. "Look, her mom's anniversary is coming up, right? It was probably just a dream about her mom. I've had plenty of those about my family, and I'm sure you've had them too."

Natsu couldn't argue with that logic. "Well why wouldn't she wanna talk to me about that? We talk to each other all the time about that kinda stuff."

"Maybe she's not ready. Either way, I say you just drop it. It's better than to keep reminding her."

"Fine," Natsu said, laying back down on his bed. It'd been four days since that night, and he couldn't get it out of his head. He'd never seen Lucy so shaken up before, it made a shiver run down his own spine.

Gray raised his arms above his head in a stretch before getting out of bed. "C'mon. We gotta go help with the party or else Erza will literally kill us."

Natsu groaned. "She gets even more violent on Jellal's birthday."

"That's because she always tries to make things perfect and fails every time."

"She really does suck at surprises."

As the two headed towards the lounge in the basement, Natsu noticed everyone running around with sweat dotting their faces as they hung decorations on the wall. Erza must've gotten to them. It was no secret among Fairy Tail that if someone messed up Jellal's birthday or even hung a decoration up crookedly, there would be hell to pay with the demonic redhead. Speak of the devil…

"Natsu, Gray. It is good that you two are finally joining us," Erza said, approaching the two. She shoved streamers into their hands. "You idiots can't possibly mess this up. Hang these from the ceilings. Find me when you are done so I can give you your next task."

Natsu knew better than to talk back on Jellal's birthday.

"Aye, sir!" the two exclaimed, saluting the girl. She gave a satisfied nod before moving on to check on everyone else.

Only after the basement was covered in colorful decorations, a beautiful cake sat on the counter courtesy of Mira, and everyone was gathered in the lounge did Erza officially commence the party. Everyone cheered their congratulations for Jellal.

Birthdays were cause for a huge celebration in Fairy Tail, big enough that they shut down the whole place. Many immortals, like Cana, had forgotten their actual birthdays over the vast years and chose not to celebrate. But after joining Fairy Tail, they were able to pick a new birthday for themselves and celebrate it with a group of people who cared and understood.

In Jellal's case, December 1st was not his real birthday. He had long since forgotten, partly due to his longevity and also due to what happened at the research facility. He and Erza were only fresh immortals back then, only recently discovering their secret. Before they could really understand what was happening, they were dragged to a facility against their will and experimented on for decades by mortals trying to find the secret to immortality. After repeated experiments, they lost track of the years and their brains had suffered damage.

They weren't the only immortals to go through something like that. Many of them had been through their own hardships caused by mortals, particularly Mira. Her story always made Natsu sick to his stomach just listening to it.

Only bad things came from mortals finding out about their secret, which was why they held a prejudice against Lucy at first. She was the first mortal who didn't know of immortality to prove to them that there were good ones out there.

Natsu kept a grin glued to his face, but he couldn't help but miss Lucy. After her nightmare, conversation between the two of them had been a bit tense. He wished she was there celebrating with all of them.

"It is time for gifts!" Erza announced while everyone was eating their cake.

"You guys didn't have to get me anything," Jellal said with a smile. He said that every year, knowing that they were going to go out of their way and get him something anyways.

"Nonsense! Here, open mine first!"

Jellal thanked his wife, accepting the gift. A chuckle slipped past his lips as he noticed the sloppy wrapping of the present. While some would suspect that the redhead would be neat and tidy when wrapping gifts, she was actually quite bad at it. And he loved that small fact about her.

Tearing the paper off, he opened the box underneath to find a worn-out journal. Its corners were folded over and its edges were torn, but it still managed to bring a huge grin to the otherwise stoic boy's face.

"Erza! How did you find this?" he asked, flipping open the book and running his fingers over the brittle pages.

"It was actually a lot of work to get," she answered with a small smile. "For one, they kept it in a museum. I've been planning a way to get it out of there for a year now. Then, I had to do it without being caught. Luckily, I did."

"Wait, you broke into a museum?" Cana asked, blanching at the redhead.

She shrugged. "Yeah. All it took was months of observing, a friend on the inside, tiny movements of their cameras every day so that they wouldn't notice, and then breaking in through a back window and taking it during the night."

"Erza, I don't think you know how truly scary you are sometimes."

Erza gave a smug grin. "Oh, I know."

"What is that thing anyways?" Gajeel asked, moving closer to Jellal to see what it was. "And how could you of all people break into a museum to get it? You're always sittin' on that high horse of yours, talkin' about morals and shit. Now look at ya."

"It's not really robbing if it was yours to begin with."

"This journal was mine," Jellal explained. "It was back in our hometown. I was studying and I wrote down some experiments I did in this journal. This was right before we were taken."

Everyone stared at the ground as Erza balled her hands into tight fists. It wasn't a secret that the facility still haunted her to this day.

"Anyways," Jellal said, trying to move quickly from that topic. "After that, I didn't go back to my old home for years, but apparently someone had raided it and took my journal. Apparently, it was interesting that someone from those days had formulated advanced equations, so they kept it preserved in a museum. I was very shocked to find it one day."

"This is the only thing we could find from the old days," Erza added. "Nostalgic, isn't it?"

"It is. I still cannot believe you got it back for me."

"That was pretty risky of you, Erza," Mira said with a chuckle. "But you'd do anything for Jellal! It's so cute!"

The girl's cheeks burned to match her hair. "A-Anyways, next present!"

The group went around, giving Jellal their presents until there weren't any more. After that, they drank and played games, so caught up in the moment that they didn't feel like outsiders stuck in hiding. In that moment, they were just a group of friends- a family- all of them celebrating a birthday like any normal person would.

"Don't drink too much," Levy said, watching as Gajeel downed an entire mug of booze. "Don't forget we're going to celebrate again later with Lu-chan. She can't know that we were already celebrating without her."

Don't worry, Shrimp. I ain't no lightweight."

"Levy does have a point," Gray said. "Maybe we shouldn't have gotten full off of the cake already. Knowing Lucy, she's probably baking one right now for us."

"She sounds so nice!" Mira gushed. "I wish I could meet her! Why do I have to be in a different cycle from you guys?"

"Yeah, yeah," Cana said, slinging an arm around the other girl's shoulders. "You've got me, Laxus, and his squad in your cycle. Can't beat that setup! After all, I take you to the cool parties that people throw!"

"Yes, and you shrug off your studies," Erza scolded.

"Psh. Oh well."

Natsu crossed his arms with a sour look. "Why can't I 'shrug off my studies' if Cana can?"

"Because you're in her cycle," Gray said with a smirk. "She can't have you making her look bad. Though, you bein' an immortal already makes the rest of us look bad."

Before the two could begin to brawl, Makarove climbed up onto one of the tables to give himself some more height. Even then, he still wasn't tall enough to peer down at everyone, but his air of authority made up for his lack of height.

"My children," he started, gazing at each and every one of them. "I am happy to be able to celebrate another one of your birthdays will all of you. Jellal, happy birthday. I wish you nothing but happiness. I know many of you have forgotten your original birthdays, but it is with Fairy Tail that you are given another! It is with Fairy Tail that you are able to celebrate with your peers! It is with Fairy Tail that you can begin anew! So cheers!"

Everyone lifted their glasses high in the air, the building rumbling as everyone cheered.

Lucy sighed as she threw the cake in the oven, dusting her hands off on her apron. She wasn't much of a baker, but as long as she followed the recipe, she was sure it would turn out decent enough.

The girl glanced around her apartment, making sure everything was ready for the party later. Streamers hung from the ceiling, banners were pinned to the wall, and games were set up on the dining table- games that she bought specifically for the occasion. All that was left was the cake, which would need to bake for roughly twenty minutes, cooled, then frosted. That left her nearly an hour to relax.

Making her way over to her desk, Lucy plopped onto the chair with a sigh. Rubbing her eyes, she stifled a groan. She could feel the heavy bags underneath her eyelids.

Ever since her nightmare, the girl had been having trouble sleeping. Even with Natsu there to hold her, she refused to doze off into sleep, terrified that her dreams would be plagued by her inner demons once again.

"Hopefully some concealer will do the trick."

Hoping to distract herself, Lucy worked on her story until the oven began its incessant beeping, informing her that the cake was finished. Taking it out of the oven, she eyed the clock. The others were supposed to arrive in half an hour.

"I probably don't have time to let the cake cool all the way and frost it before they get here."

Or so she thought.

Lucy slumped on the couch with a huff. It was nearing seven, and they were supposed to arrive at six.

"What's taking them so long?"

Finally, she could hear a key being pushed into the lock of her front door before it swung open to reveal Natsu and the others. It wasn't a surprise that they all showed up together since they all lived in the same place.

Lucy eyed them in annoyance. All of them wore wide grins on their faces as they bustled inside. Were they not aware that they were an hour late?

"Hey, Lucy," Gray greeted.

She ignored him. Eyes landing on Jellal, she forced a grin to her face as she said, "Happy birthday, Jellal."

The boy smiled back at her. "Thank you, Lucy. And thank you for letting us come here to celebrate."

"Don't mention it. I'm surprised that Fairy Tail was closed today. It's not a holiday today, is it?"

Erza cleared her throat. "Perhaps they are taking a training day."

"I guess that makes sense," Lucy replied with a shrug. Searching for Natsu, she found him sitting alone on the couch. She moved to sit by him. "Hey, Natsu. Why are you guys so late?"

Natsu smiled apologetically. "Sorry about that. Erza thought you said to come over at seven."

She arched a brow. "Erza said that? She's not the type to make a mistake like that."

"Well, I guess she did."

Natsu sighed in relief as Lucy shrugged her shoulders in acceptance. In truth, everyone was so caught up in the moment at Fairy Tail, they lost track of time. But he couldn't tell Lucy that. Not only was she not supposed to know about the others, but it would also probably hurt her feelings if she found out they had a party without her.

Lucy stood up from the couch. "Do you guys want any cake? I made some." Her gaze landed on Erza, finding that the redhead was already devouring a piece.

"Ehh, I'm good," Gray said, crossing his arms behind his head. He and everyone else had already filled up back at Fairy Tail. Any more would just make him sick.

Lucy bit back a frown. Nobody was going to have the cake? Well, besides Erza, of course. But what about everyone else? Did they think she was that incapable of baking? Mumbling to herself, she hastily cut herself a slice and sat at the dining table while everyone else chatted around her. First they were late, then they didn't even take a bite of the cake that she slaved to make for them.

Natsu cocked his head to the side, watching as Lucy shoved cake into her mouth. Her brows were slanted, and she wasn't paying attention to anyone. Figuring that she was still upset about her dream, he chose not to comment on it. Taking Gray's advice, he was going to let her handle it on her own.

Lucy heaved a sigh before taking the last bite of her cake. She shouldn't have been so bitter. The day wasn't about her, it was about celebrating Jellal's birthday. Who knows, maybe they just weren't cake people.

Lucy's eyes lit up as she turned to face her friends.

"Should we open presents now?" she asked, clasping her hands together in excitement.

Everyone shared an uneasy glance. They already opened presents back at Fairy Tail.

"Oh, uhh, we don't get each other presents!" Levy lied. She'd always been quick on her feet in times like these. Only this time, it wasn't working.

Lucy narrowed her eyes skeptically. "You guys don't get each other birthday gifts?"

"Nope! Too much of a hassle with such a big group!"

Lucy turned to Erza. "Even you didn't get your husband a gift?"

The other girl shook her head, following along with Levy's lie. "No. Jellal and I don't believe in gift giving."

Lucy's hands went limp at her sides. What did they take her for, some kind of idiot? "Okay. Does anyone want to play some games?"

That was how the rest of the evening transpired. Everyone played games and cheered while Lucy kept a feigned grin plastered to her face.

Once the party ended, the group helped Lucy clean up before saying their goodbyes and heading out the door. Natsu stayed behind as always.

He watched as Lucy marched over to the couch and plopped onto it with a huff. Taking slow, hesitant steps towards her like she was some sort of ticking time bomb, he lowered himself next to her.

"That was fun, right?" he asked, turning to give her a grin.

Lucy glared at him, turning on the TV without saying a word.

And just like that, Natsu knew her sour mood wasn't just because of her dream. She was mad at him.

Grabbing the remote from her hand, he turned it off before giving her a serious look.

"What's wrong, Lucy? Why're you so upset?" he asked.

The girl crossed her arms and replied in a flat tone of voice, "What do you mean? I'm not upset."

"You obviously are, so just tell me already."

"I'm fine."

"If you were fine, you wouldn't be acting like this. Can we just talk about it?"

Lucy whirled an angry gaze onto him. "You guys celebrated without me, didn't you?"

Natsu swallowed thickly. He should've known that she was going to catch onto them. "Lucy, I can explain."

"I knew it! That's why nobody ate the cake or gave presents! Not to mention you guys reeked with booze!"

"Lucy-!"

"No, no! Don't Lucy me! I know exactly what this is about!" Lucy stood up from the couch and planted her hands on her hips, tears pricking her eyes as she continued, "I'm never going to be good enough for your friends, am I? You all share secrets that I'm not good enough to know, you all lie to my face, and now I know you all celebrate without me! Just admit it, Natsu! I'm not good enough for you guys!"

Natsu shot up, his brows furrowed. "That's not it, Lucy! 'Course you're good enough for us!"

"Then why the hell did you guys celebrate without me? Why couldn't you invite me?"

"I-It was with other people!" Natsu answered with a gulp. The truth was at the tip of his tongue. He longed to tell her the truth for so long, now more than ever. But he just couldn't do that to his friends. "You don't know them, so we figured that you wouldn't wanna be there!"

Lucy rolled her eyes with a scoff. "Yeah, right. It's nice to see that you're breaking our no-lying agreement. You think I don't know when you're lying by now?"

"I'm sorry, Lucy, but-!"

"Save it."

"But Lucy-!"

"I don't want to hear it."

Natsu's brows furrowed in annoyance, watching as Lucy turned her back towards him.

"You're kinda a hypocrite, you know that?" he said, the words fumbling out of his mouth before he could even think them over.

Lucy whirled around, giving him an incredulous look. "Excuse me?"

He shrugged. "You're a hypocrite."

"How the hell am I a hypocrite?"

"You aren't the only one who can tell when the other's lying. Do you really believe that you haven't told a single lie since that night?"

"I have not!"

"There it is again!"

Lucy's mouth gaped open like a fish out of water. Okay, so she had lied a few times to keep her reincarnation a secret. But those were necessary lies! And it wasn't like she expected him to know she was lying.

"See? You can't even argue because I'm right," Natsu said, shoving his hands into his pockets. His voice was cold as he continued, "You're being a hypocrite. We both lie for whatever reason; the only difference is I don't get on your back for doing it."

Lucy's fists trembled at his cold disposition. "Well then maybe that's a sign."

"A sign of what?"

"That we shouldn't be together," she answered. Her heart dropped to the floor as Natsu gave a pained expression, his eyes wide and his mouth parted. Her throat felt tight as she fought back tears. "You said it yourself. For some reason, we both keep lying to each other. Maybe that means-"

"Yeah, I got it," Natsu said, cutting her off. "If that's what you want, then fine."

"Natsu-"

"Nah. You're good, Lucy. You don't hafta explain yourself." Removing the necklace from his neck, he grabbed Lucy's hand and placed the spare key into her palm. Without saying another word, he marched towards the door, slamming it shut behind him.

Lucy stood still, tears clouding her vision as she stared at the door. Her mind was a blank slate, unable to process what just happened. But when she did, it was like a switch went off in her mind.

Once the first sob wrangled its way out of her, she was no longer able to contain herself. Her hand tightened around the key he left behind, the cold, ragged edges engraving into her skin.

This time, she couldn't even blame reincarnation for what was happening. She could only blame herself.

Natsu slammed the door to his bedroom before marching over to his bed. He plopped onto it, staring up at the ceiling and ignoring Gray's questioning glances.

"Uhh, everything okay?" his roommate asked.

"Shut up," Natsu replied, his voice hoarse. There was no way in hell he was going to talk about what happened with Gray. He had just managed to stop crying on the way home, and if he talked about it, the dam was sure to break again.

Gray wasn't deterred by his remark. "Did something happen with you and Lucy?" Natsu ignored him, giving him the answer he needed. "What happened?"

"None of your business. Now shut up, Gray. I'm serious."

"No, I won't just shut up. What the hell happened between you and Lucy? We were just having a good time."

"Maybe you did, but she didn't."

"Lucy didn't have fun at the party?"

"Nope. Because she knew that we celebrated without her." Natsu sat up, giving the other boy a blank stare. "Know what that means? It means she was asking me why we celebrated without her. And I couldn't even tell her because of this damn secret we have."

Gray frowned, fumbling with the buttons of his shirt. He wasn't sure what to say. Hell, there probably wasn't anything he could say that would cheer him up. That was one of the many unavoidable problems of dating a mortal, and even though he loved Lucy like a sister, there was no changing the rules that were there to keep them safe. What Natsu did was the right thing, even if it didn't feel like it.

"I'm sorry, man," Gray said, rubbing the back of his head awkwardly. "But I'm sure Lucy will get over it."

"Nah, she won't. She broke up with me."

"Wait, she what!?"

Natsu shrugged.

Gray heaved a sigh. He hated seeing Natsu like this, and he was sure Lucy was hurting just as much.

"You know, Juvia broke up with me once," Gray said, laying back and staring at the ceiling as well.

Natsu's brows rose as he turned to face his roommate. He hadn't heard that story before, which was strange considering all of them lived together. "She did?"

"Yep. Back when we first got together. I was an idiot back then, and I pushed her away too much. Everyone has their breaking point, and I pushed her to that point. She dumped me."

"How did you guys get back together?"

"As I was sitting here, staring up at the ceiling like this, I realized that I didn't want to lose her. I went back to her and apologized. Luckily, she forgave me and since then, I've been doin' my best to make her happy because I don't wanna see the sad look she gave me that night."

Natsu scoffed. "That's different. That was your fault. This wasn't even my fault this time!"

"I'm not saying it is." He faced the other boy. "Look, your relationship with Lucy isn't easy. She's a mortal and you're an immortal, there's bound to be some fights that happen because of it. But in all the time I've known you- and really think about how long that is- I have never seen you as happy as when you're with Lucy. Even if it wasn't your fault, are you really willing to lose her now?"

Natsu's gaze dropped to the floor. "Well why do I hafta be the one to apologize?"

"Well, it's not like she can just come here and do it. Besides, maybe it's not her fault either."

"What do you mean? If it's not my fault, then-"

"Maybe it's neither of your faults," Gray interrupted with a shrug. "It's not like she ever asked to date an immortal with a shit ton of secrets and baggage. And she doesn't even know about it. Without her knowledge, she's dating someone who makes things harder for her without a choice."

"Just tell me what I should do already!"

"Do you wanna be with Lucy?"

Natsu's hands balled into tight fists, his eyes lighting with resolve. "Yeah, I do."

"Then go be with her, idiot."

Without another word, Natsu dashed out the door.

Lucy's eyes fluttered open as a cold gust of wind washed over her. With a groan, she forced herself into a sitting position. Her head pounded after all of her crying, and the bags under her eyes had only gotten worse. Going to get some medicine, she turned, only to find a dark figure standing at her bedside.

A bloodcurdling scream slipped past her lips before a warm hand slapped over her mouth. With wide eyes, she watched as the hooded figure removed their hood to find pink tufts of hair.

"Shh!" Natsu said. He really hoped her neighbors wouldn't call the cops after that. But then again, if they didn't, maybe her apartment wasn't that safe to live in after all.

Lucy pried his hand off her face, panting. He must not have realized that his hand was large enough to cover her nose as well.

"Natsu!" she shouted, turning on the lights. "What are you doing here? I thought you were a murderer!"

"I want my key back," Natsu replied. His eyes bore into hers, his gaze serious.

Warmth crept up to the girl's cheeks. "W-What?"

"My key. I want it back."

"What do you mean?"

"I know I used to climb through the window all the time, but using the door's a lot easier. So, I want my key back." He held his hand out, shaking it with impatience.

Lucy arched a brow. "But you- we- I mean-"

"Lucy. I want my key back."

The edge of his voice sent a shiver down her spine. She took in his features. His eyes were a bit puffy and pink, his hair a disheveled mess.

"I don't understand," Lucy said, her voice just a whisper.

Natsu sighed, running a hand through his hair. "Jeez, Luce. Do I really hafta spell it out for ya?" Taking a step closer, he leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers. His hands slid into hers, giving them a gentle squeeze. "I don't wanna break up."

Lucy's breath hitched in her throat. "R-Really?"

"'Course, weirdo. And I hope you don't wanna break up either."

"I don't!" Lucy exclaimed. "I overreacted earlier. And you're right, I was being a hypocrite. Telling each other the truth might not always be possible like I thought it was. Maybe… Maybe it's okay if we lie to each other sometimes… Right?"

"I don't mind if you don't," Natsu replied, his lips twitching upwards into a small smile.

"Well, as long as we don't lie about important stuff."

"Duh."

Natsu propped his finger underneath Lucy's chin, lifting her head so that he could press his lips against hers in a gentle kiss. Electricity shot through his body at the light touch, her soft lips moving against his. His arms snaked around Lucy's waist, pulling her flushed against him. His hands tangled in her shirt, clutching onto her as if he would lose her again if he let go.

Breaking apart for air, the two stared into each other's hazy eyes.

"Is it weird that we're doing this?" Lucy asked.

Natsu arched a brow. "Weird that we're kissing?"

"No, I mean being together and agreeing that it's okay to lie. Is it really? Don't get me wrong, I don't want to break up, but isn't that what normal people would do?"

Natsu shrugged. "Well you aren't normal. You're a weirdo. So it makes sense."

"I'm serious, Natsu."

"I don't know, okay? I don't know what other people would do in this situation. All I know is that I wanna be with you for the rest of my life, and I don't care what it takes."

A smile etched itself over Lucy's face. "Yeah, you're right. I don't care either. I just want to be with you."

Natsu grinned. "So? My key?"

"Oh, right!" Lucy grabbed the key from the nightstand, handing it back to him. "I believe this is yours."

"Thanks," Natsu replied, putting the necklace on, back in its rightful place. "Your eyes are super puffy, by the way. I can barely even see your eyes."

"Yours are puffy too, jerk!"

"Not as puffy as yours!" He reached out and poked the swollen skin. "I'm really sorry for makin' you cry, Luce. That's not what I wanna do."

Lucy grabbed his hand and gave him a smile. "Don't worry about it. Let's just call it even and forget about this, okay?"

"Sounds good to me!"

Taking her hand, he led her back to the bed. They cozied up under the covers, tangling their limbs into a ball of comfort. Natsu breathed in Lucy's scent while she traced her finger over his chest. With everything resolved between them, they let their eyes droop closed for some much-needed rest. Their secrets were safe, along with their relationship.

If only they knew that secrets always had a way of getting out.

#fairy tail #nalu #lucy heartfilia #natsu dragneel #ftfanficton #nalu fanfiction #tddup #til death do us part #super writes

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burlybanner · 5 years

Text

Syzygy -6

Syzygy - An AU of Infundo (post-Infundo Chronicles).

Chapter 6: S**t Gets Too Real

Chapter 6 Summary: Tony Stark’s a genius. Sometimes he wishes he wasn’t.

Gentle warning: Slob stuff and multiple stuffings ahoy.

Link to Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

** Surprisingly, Bruce got hungry pretty damn quick after Hulk's stuffing. He didn't think he'd feel hungry ever again but after eating a banana he'd soaked in a double portion of his gainer solution, his stomach roared to life soon after waking. Being so suddenly and frightfully hungry shocked him, but thank the chubby powers-that-be that Steve had a huge country breakfast waiting. Bruce gobbled multiple servings of buttery Belgian waffles soaked in syrup, several donuts, half a coffee cake from his favorite bakery, and a couple of spinach mushroom quiches.

Which, to be honest, was nothing near lunch a few hours later at a private buffet ("to celebrate new growth," Tony'd told the manager). Bruce had rolled his eyes. Of course Tony said something that stupid out loud. They'd brought some of the gainer formula to the buffet, shook it over Bruce’s food, and Bruce tore into the portions like a bull in a glass factory. And it surprised him. It took an hour of heavy gorging before he almost felt full and he'd never eaten that much for that long before. But it felt...great. No, more than that. He felt incredibly pleased. Sated. Beyond high.

His pants got so tight at the restaurant he'd had to undo his belt.

His fullness turned him on and he begged Tony and Steve to blow him in the limo, on the way back home. But they weren’t total heathens; they waited until they returned for stuffing sex,

where one of his boyfriends fed him sickeningly sweet desserts while the other blew him, effectively creating double orgasms.

God. They'd been ridiculously horny. Insatiable rabbits.

And then there was dinner. Holy shit, dinner turned into another orgy when they mixed the day's remaining formula into his meals. After several dishes and baskets of rolls Bruce couldn't suck in his gut to fasten his pants. His stomach bloated and swelled in his lap as he slurped down sweet sriracha chicken, Thai coconut curry, and on and on. Food continued coming as fast as he ate it and he barely choked one meal down before the next course presented itself. He'd spilled a ton of food down his shirt, but he didn't care. He mindlessly gobbled everything up like a sloppy, greedy piggy wallowing in mess.

Then they sated themselves with sex. Again and again.

Bruce's body quivered from the memories and his dick jumped in his pants. He wondered how the rest of the night would go which dampened his enthusiasm. He had to fall asleep and his body would be taken over, forced to consume whatever Hulk desired. Thinking about Hulk's "meal" worked like ice water on his libido.

Bruce sighed and nervously squeezed his stomach. "You really found everything?"

"Sure did, Pooh."

"I would've...no. I wouldn't' have asked. I can't imagine what you went through to get it. After everything I ate today, I thought you would've been sick of catering to me."

Tony smiled gently and gave Bruce a quick kiss on the lips while slipping on a pair of sweatpants and his nano shirt. "For you? I'd buy the moon, Pooh Bear. Besides, today's good eatin' was to slick you up for tonight. You don't think Steve and I noticed your apprehension? Perish the thought. You're stuck with us."

"And how," Steve sighed, coming up behind him. Steve was still floating in a post-coital glow and his high was infectious. He wrapped his arms around Bruce's shoulders and gently swayed him side to side, palming Bruce’s spare tire while bouncing his heavy overhang. "Betcha gained a ton today, Porkpie."

Bruce shuddered with lust and kissed Steve's arm. "We'll see."

"We still have the bonus round," Tony told them. He snapped his fingers. "Bruce, bed. Steve, get him sleepy." He checked his watch. "I've got caterers to catch."

Bruce suddenly perked up. "They're here? Already?"

"In an hour. But I need to set up for Hulk. He likes his food ready and he likes getting messy, as you know."

Bruce snorted softly. "I saw."

"I've got a few things prepared. No worries, Brucie, it's not about you now. Rest up for the nightly pig-out."

Bruce chewed the inside of his cheek. "Be careful, yeah?"

"Always, Brucie Bear. Always." Tony winked and skittered out, but Bruce wasn't convinced. Tony could be notoriously bad at self-preservation and he'd need all of his skills for the Hulk.

Please be careful, he thought as a silent litany, even as Steve kissed his neck and led him to their bed.

"Yeah, lay it out."

The caterer and their helpers looked confused. "On the--"

"On the tarp, yeah. Line up the steno and servers in a line. The tarp's fireproof," Tony explained, although he doubted they thought that was the weird thing. "Set it up. I'll take care of the rest."

"Of course, Mr. Stark."

Fortunately they didn't bat an eye. He figured they'd seen weirder things. Probably from him, come think.

He gave the catering crew time to plate everything but kept checking his watch. He still had to prep before Bruce showed up.

When they lit the last steno he clapped his hands. Only one startled. Good. "Awesome. All finished? Wonderful. Someone'll drop off your gear tomorrow, or you can bill us. Jarvis, see 'em out. Thanks." He shoved a bunch of hundreds at the nearest person.

"If you would, please follow the lights as I direct you to the exits." A few of the newbies blinked around the room, but most of them knew the drill; they'd dealt with Jarvis before and knew their way out.

When the last one left the kitchen, Tony let out a slow puff of air and stilled his breathing. "How're we on time, J?"

"The last caterer will leave the building in approximately two-point-six minutes, sir. From what I've been observing with Captain Rogers, I estimate Doctor Banner will enter NREM sleep in approximately six minutes."

"Perfect. You clear on the plan?"

Tony could almost hear Jarvis sigh. The minute pauses mimicked one enough times. "Of course, sir. Although if I may interject?"

"Shoot." Tony darted around, finishing the set up before Bruce-Hulk lumbered in.

"I assume Doctor Banner will want--"

"Nope, no," Tony said, cutting off his AI. "This is a need-to-know op only and Banner doesn't need to know. Not until there's conclusive proof. You cut the feed on my mark, got it? Don't go all HAL on me."

"Perish the thought, sir." Jarvis would be chuckling, if he were human. "But I felt I needed to voice my concerns, considering your current relationship status."

"Duly noted. Bruce will...well." Tony gestured flippantly. "Either way we'll know conclusively and I'll apologize to Bruciekins tomorrow. I'll have to drag the rest out of him later anyway."

"Easier to ask for forgiveness than permission?"

"You got it, J."

Within ten minutes of Tony's talk with Jarvis heavy feet slapped the kitchen floor. Not as heavy as Hulk's actual feet but it wasn't Bruce's footfalls either; Bruce's tread was normally softer and shuffled more. The new steps were definitely steps of purpose and power.

"Hey, Hulk, it's Tony. I'm over here."

"Tin Man?"

Bruce - no, Hulk - poked his head into the formal dining room. It was damn weird, but Tony had no problem differentiating between Hulk taking Bruce's body, and Bruce himself.

"Yeah, it's me. Have a seat. I got your grub."

Hulk snuffled and snorted the air, and plopped heavily next to Tony. "Smells good. What's that?" He poked a server, and Tony lifted it.

"Twice fried ostrich wings, like you requested. Cajun spiced, using a seasoning mix from that guy you remembered on TV."

"Prudhomme magic," Hulk rumbled, and Tony stopped short from reeling in surprise. No. Definitely not stupid. At all.

He'd have to keep on his toes.

"That's right. Chef Prudhomme's legendary seasonings." He watched as Hulk took an ostrich wing and sniffed it cautiously. Laughing, he stuck half in his mouth and crunched it, bones and all.

"Good. Good ostrich!"

“Some of the best chefs in Louisiana fried it up and sent it to you. We've also got your--" he tore off another lid, "--deep fried Rocky Mountain Oysters, swimming in white gravy, and..." he removed another server lid and stopped short of shuddering. “Crocodile and alligator tripe, simmering in an alligator head with the eyeballs still attached. Just like you wanted."

Hulk grunted his approval, scooped a hand in the warm stew, and slurped it. "Good. Very good. Where's main dish?"

Tony sighed deeply. "Big Green, you've got some unique tastes and I'm diggin' the vibe. But just know for Bruce's sake we couldn't serve it to you raw."

Hulk slammed his fist on the floor, but it was still Bruce's fist. So Tony called it a win despite his tantrum. "Cap said anything!"

"Yeah, he did. But think about it. You wanna do Bruce a solid, right? Make him big and cuddly, like you?"

Hulk snorted, but folded his arms in a childish pout. "Yeah."

"And you wanna make sure you can do this again, right?"

"Hmph."

"Then you gotta do right by him. You're in his body, so take it easy." Tony removed the last lid. "Ta-daa...frog and rattlesnake stir fry. Not quite raw but as close to raw as we could make it without making Bruce sick."

Hulk grabbed a handful of the hot dish and shoved it in his mouth. "Banner not get sick," he muttered. A frog leg tumbled from his lips as he talked with a full mouth. "Banner has Hulk's immunity. No poison can kill Hulk!"

"True, true," Tony said. "But it can hurt Bruce temporarily. He wouldn't want that, and he'd kinda hate you for it."

"Mm." Tony could tell Hulk was mulling it over as he continued shoving the food into his mouth with his bare hands. The last server had the deep fried andouille sausage with crayfish gumbo in it (crayfish heads still attached, of course), but Tony figured Hulk would get to that eventually. It was definitely the messiest of all the dishes. Who knew Hulk was such a foodie of weird foods?

"Andrew Zimmern ain't got nothin' on you," Tony muttered.

"Hmm?"

"Nothing, Hulk. Go back to feasting."

Hulk nodded vigorously and scooped fistfulls of one dish, then the other, and poured them into his mouth. A lot fell to the tarp, but Hulk scraped up the scraps. Waste not, want not, he supposed.

After five minutes of watching Hulk develop an easy eating rhythm Tony licked his lips. "Hey, Jarv," he said quietly.

Jarvis relayed his response to Tony's hidden earpiece: "Understood, sir."

Although Bruce pinned a GoPro to his robe Tony'd hacked the camera days ago. He had Jarvis loop the feed so it'd show Hulk chowing down. He knew he'd only have a few minutes before it'd look suspicious, so he had to hope he got everything he needed from Hulk in one take.

"Hulkie," he began. "You love Tin Man, right? Love all this great food?"

"Mm. Yes. Good food. More tomorrow?"

"Sure. Let me know what you want before we wrap up tonight. Can't promise you everything, but we'll do what we can. Like the rattlesnake. That fair?"

Hulk snorted and dumped a handful of the gumbo in his mouth. Which, of course, dripped down on everything. "Is okay. But not great."

Tony chuckled. "I get it," he said, then sobered. "I also get what you're not telling Bruce. You're workin' the system, Big Green. Not sure I'm okay with that, and I know Bruce won't be."

Hulk didn't respond, but continued stuffing his face.

Good. He knows I'm on to him.

"Pull back on the control shit - you're mucking around with Bruce's subconscious more than he's aware; I saw you at dinner today. Don't deny it."

Hulk laughed, deep and throaty. "Fooled you. And Banner."

"A little, yeah. But I know that's not all - you're not dumb but neither am I. You helped Bruce with that gainer cocktail, didn't you? I'm guessing there's more junk in there than Bruce realizes."

Hulk stilled, and for the first time that night Tony wondered if he'd have to activate the nanosuit. "I see what Banner sees," he murmured. His voice was oddly calm, oddly quiet. "But Banner doesn't see what I see. He doesn't know what I know."

Bingo.

"It's all an act, isn't it?"

"No."

A chill came over Tony and his brain overclocked. "Shit...Hulk isn't the only one in Bruce's head, is he?"

He almost smiled, but the expression wasn't Hulk's. Wasn't Bruce's, either. "Are you going to tell on us?"

Don't. Don't freak out. Don't. Freak. "Depends." Tony was surprised at how calm he kept his voice. "Who are you, and what are you planning?"

The Person sighed softly and briefly brushed away food from Bruce's robe. "Actually, I like being left out of things. I work behind the scenes, and I don't wish any harm. I'm actually the one helping maintain control over Hulk these days...I suppose in a pinch you could call me the lecturer-researcher construct." He paused, tilting his chin before sharply nodding. "Call me Professor."

Tony swallowed. "Professor? Like when Bruce works at NYU?"

Professor hummed. "I'm present at any event where he's teaching, or when he learns something new. But honestly, I'm harmless. You've seen me before - I was the first to touch the Tesseract."

Tony sat back on his heels and scrutinized Professor sharply. "Huh. Yeah..." he gestured lamely at Professor's face. "I can see it now, a little. I remember that expression." Burned forever in his brain, now.

Sighing heavily Tony licked his lips, pausing at whatever seventh hell revelation this was. "So, um." He shook his head. He wanted a drink. Several. Despite cutting back for his boyfriends' sakes he wanted to drown his brain in a tank of whiskey. "Where...?"

"Where does this put the four...hum. Five of us?"

Tony nodded lamely. "You outflanked me. Royally."

"Did I?" Professor seemed to take that in stride, and smiled coyly to himself. "It wasn't my intention. I simply revealed my hand because it was timely. There wasn't anything left to hide." He tilted his head and gazed at Tony. "It doesn't change anything. Of course you should tell Banner and yes, even Captain Rogers, but do ask yourself if this is the right time. Could be fairly disastrous for the three of you if your timing's off." Tony narrowed his eyes slightly. Was that a veiled threat--?

Professor stretched and yawned, and held his hands above his head for a beat. "I'm actually quite pleased Banner wishes to become immobile, Tony." He smiled softly and ran his hands over Bruce's swollen belly, imitating a mother-to-be's reverence. The image burned Tony's retinas and he felt sick - maybe a bit horrified. "I'm looking forward to reading all the books I've yet to read and I'm glad for the time I'll have to myself."

Professor checked his wrist, as if viewing an invisible watch. "By the way, you should tell Jarvis to turn the camera feed back on. It's been far longer than five minutes."

Tony snorted. "You sly motherfucker. You knew all along."

"Of course I did." He winked and saluted Tony with two fingers. "Be seeing you, Tony."

Tony watched as Bruce's body shook before returning to shoving food in its face.

"Good food! Hulk wants more tomorrow."

"Sure thing, Big Guy," Tony whispered. He let out a shuddering breath and ran a hand down his face. "Jarv, tell me you recorded all that."

"Yes."

The AI's response was curt and to the point; he probably had as much to think about as Tony did.

"What the ever living fuck."

"Sir. Doctor Banner's Person was correct in one sense. It's been far too long, and there's bound to be an interrupting glitch in the feed if closely scrutinized."

"Yeah. I know." Tony licked his lips and made a circular motion in the air. "Go ahead and turn it back to black, J. Shit. I have no idea what the fuck I'm gonna say tomorrow. Hell, I dunno if I can keep up pretenses tonight."

"Might I suggest trying your best, sir? Especially as we're going live in three...two--"

"Shit."

But somehow Tony plastered his showman's grin to mask his shell-shocked face pretending for all the world he didn't do a Prince of Bel-Air, Freaky Friday flip. He watched Hulk eat most, if not all, of the dishes and he whistled for the 'bots to clean up the mess before guiding Hulk to the shower and repeating what Steve had done the previous night. But his mind was split and he knew he couldn't maintain the act for long. Both Bruce and Steve'd know something was up but he wasn't sure how, or when, he'd tell them.

God. He hated covert shit.

Ch. 7

#polyamory #chubby bruce fic #infundoau #chubby bruce banner #steve rogers #tony stark #bruce banner #american pi #science bros #hulk #stark spangled banner #bhm #chubby kink #syzygy #starkspangledbanner syzygy #professor hulk

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your-hero-imagines · 6 years

Note

can I request headcanons for the 1A kids helping out at a soup kitchen or a shelter or something similar? it's such a pure way to help people and very fitting for heroes in training I think!

Since Aizawa thought that some students *cough* Bakugou *cough* needed to humble themselves, he suggested it might be a good idea to make them work in a Soup Kitchen for a whole week, to learn some gratitude and humanity.

Please ignore all the logic gaps I shamefully have to admit I’ve never worked at a soup kitchen before. :/

Iida:

- Is probably the most motivated of them all, obviously.

- Will use his speed to go grocery shopping. He doesn’t need to since they have food donations at the location, but he wants to contribute something. Uses his own money.

- The fate of some of the people in need really touches him, and he admires and respects everyone working here in their free time.

- Will probably work here again later on, or at least donate tons of money when he’s a pro hero.

Momo:

- Will use her quirk to make new kitchen equipment for the cooks.

- Isn’t really used to this kind of cooking. At home she gets much more fine and delicate food, and never has to cook for herself. Doesn’t know any simple recipes because she never intended to make food with her quirk anyway since it’s kinda weird.

- Knows the Soup Kitchen because she forced her rich parents to donate money here ever since she was a kid and realized some kids at school have a way harder time than she herself has.

Todoroki:

- His ice has many uses, from being used in drinks to keep some indigrents fresh. Even manages to make Slush Ice for the kids.

- The smile a little girl gives him when she thanks him makes his heart melt. It reminds him so much of his sister.

- Feels bad for it but actually admires some of the families there. They may not have much, but they’re holding together and are very affectionate with each other. Unlike his own.

Bakugo:

- Is skilled in basically anything, from slicing indigrents to seasoning it and so on. Everyone always asks for his help and opinion.

- To be honest, his mother told him to fuck off and cook his own meals pretty early in his life. Doesn’t understand why some of the other students can’t take care of themselves. “How petty”.

- Acts like he doesn’t give a shit about all the compliments he receives by his classmates and the guests but he’ll still think about it way later.

- Gives the smaller, weaker children and woman bigger portions and anyone who calls him out gets to feel his rage.

Koda:

- Is a vegetarian for obvious reasons. Freaks out every time he even sees people handling with meat. How could they even?!

- So he tries to stay away from the kitchen and help in the dining room, or cleans up the dishes.

- He comes a bit after the cooking is done because he doesn’t like such an intense smell of meat, but stays longer to clean up.

Uraraka:

- Helps making chests and other heavy things lighter for transport, using her quirk.

- Can’t cook for god’s sake, but helps with decorating the food on the plates with much love.

- Her parents once had to go to a Soup Kitchen, too, when the times were really hard. So it’s not easy to bear with the sight for her, but that’s only more reason to give it her best!

- Knows many locations persons with financial problems can get help at, and is glad to inform people.

Mineta:

- Tries to hit on every female person, may it be another voluntee or a guest.

- Isn’t that much of a help in the beginning because he’s busy creeping around and trying to get under the skirts of the girls.

- Probably only will be portioning the soup on the plates, but isn’t allowed to talk to any of the guests. Constant supervision.

- The others will try to keep him from sneaking outside so he won’t bother the guests.

Sato:

- Oh my god this boy is a master chief. Everything he cooks is delicious so he’ll do the main work.

- Also makes some extra sweets for the children.

- Actually donates his food very often. Bakes tons of cakes for a hospiece once a month and so on.

- Insists on helping the others to carry heavy stuff but they want him to stay in the kitchen and keep up his good work.

Tokoyami:

- Can literally do twice the work since Dark Shadow helps him. Will probably be cutting indigrents or carrying plates to the guests.

- Is the perfect guy to reach for high places like shelves with his quirk.

- Dark Shadow is really struggling against it because it’s constantly depressed that it itself isn’t able to eat or taste.

- But the children there will love his birdy face and also Dark Shadow so they both cooperate in presenting small tricks to make the children laugh.

Tsuyu:

- Her tongue can reach for stuff throughout the whole room. It’s good because sometimes people cannot walk because the kitchen is so small and crowded.

- Is really talented with cooking and also dealing with children since she had to provide for her smaller siblings the whole time.

- Will still prefer making kid’s meals and bringing it to them herself, since she’s so invested in caring for them and assuring they are fine.

- Gets easily flustered whenever someone tells her what a great job she’s doing.

Mina:

- Is really good at knowing human nature. She can tell anyone what task they should be doing considering their abilities and preferences.

- Will split the teams so everyone works with people they like and are well to cooperate with.

- Has so many positive vibes and is so happy this whole time so no one really feels like they’re working.

- She herself doesn’t even do much of the work she’s just cheering at everyone to do their best until Aizawa scolds her. No one was mad at her to be the motivational support tho.

Jiro:

- She’ll be playing some nice music so it’ll feel like fun whenever she’s around.

- Can cut with her sharp earlobes but it always gets messy.

- Will be asking the guests for music suggestions and ends up making the best mood! Feels like a party started! The long-time volunteers said the people there never smiled so much in an eternity!

- Forgets her shyness every time one of the guests needs anything.

Kaminari:

- At first he’s so disinterested and tries to call in sick. His classmates will drag him out of the bed and get him there. But as soon as he sees the grateful faces of the guests it totally touches his heart.

- Helps some people charge their phones because most of them possess elder models but rarely get the chance to charge it.

- Will also do waitress work but is very sloppy and often stumbles.

- Will get many compliments by elder ladies what a sweet guy he is and that he should meet their granddaughters.

Kirishima:

- Is all fired up about it just like always. This little sunshine.

- Tells anyone about how helping people in need is ‘manly’. To him, it doesn’t matter if it’s a great fight or just a small deed. Doesn’t care about the recognition either.

- Sadly isn’t much of a help because he doesn’t know how to cook very well, and is clumsy when it comes to holding more than one plate. But he always does his best. He gives it 200% even if it’s small tasks he’s only given because he cannot fuck them up.

Ojiro:

- His cooking is pretty decent. Above average at least. So he helps in the kitchen under the command of Sato.

- Tells everyone how amazing they are and what wonderful work they are doing.

- Is really humble about every thank you he receives from the people. Has had some nice conversations and even made some new friends. He doesn’t really care about social status as long as the person is friendly.

- Afterwards he’ll come and help there at least once a week.

Shoji:

- Is very quiet most of the time and just does his work.

- But to make the children crack a smile, even he gets out of his shell. Will make them climb on his arms and stuff.

- Lowkey gets very emotional about those poor people and thinks of it all day. Will need to get cheered up later.

- When he’s a pro hero he’ll have his own foundation to make charity work. This topic never left his mind after he worked there.

Aoyama:

- My boy is really enjoying himself there. He’s good at preparing food and teaching anyone who doesn’t know how to do it right.

- Finally gets some recognition by his classmates and is integrated in the team.

- Will make many stupid jokes no one except himself finds funny but he just wants to lighten up the mood.

- Once tried to roast something using his laser but it didn’t end well. Will have to write an essay about fire safety over the weekend.

Hagakure:

- Is totally hyped but doesn’t really know what to do. Is in desperate need of leadership.

- Will do whatever task you give her and does her best. Get’s distracted very easily tho.

- Spends most of the time adoring the children and complimenting every guest about anything that comes to her mind.

- She’s overlooked very easily so she would get stumbled over in the kitchen. Will help with giving out food in the end. Talks to anyone coming to her to get a plate for several minutes. Wants to get to know anyone.

Sero:

- Is pretty stoic about the work but isn’t that invested into helping at first. Wants to fight or train or do action stuff.

- Until a woman he brings some food to tells him he reminds her of her son who’s his age and she tells him a really heartbreaking story.

- He’ll then proceed to follow that woman around and listen to her stories. Many things about that made him think about topics he wasn’t even aware until now.

- In the end, he even gifts her a keychain as a lucky charm.

Midoriya:

- Gets constant anxiety because he’s afraid his work is not good enough for those people. Really doesn’t wanna let their hopes down, and has way too high expectations into himself.

- Isn’t much of a cook, so he mainly runs around, carries some plates, chests and bottles and just listens to anyone who’s asking for his help.

- Constantly gets lost because he’s so invested in talking to the people and their backstories. His fellow classmates need to keep him from trying to help every single one of them.

- At the end of the day determined to find a way to help those people. Realizes there are so many different ways of needing help and helping and he wants to know more about it. The world is so big but he sees is as an opportunity!

______

They’ll end up raising money for that and many other social service procivers once a month, through plays they present and spending the entry fee, or selling selfmade waffles, and so on.

Every month something different is at place, and they choose together as a class what they’ll do next!

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buckykingofmemes · 7 years

Text

Closet Softie

Or, How Bucky Barnes Nearly Ruined His Tough-Guy Rep

(On AO3)

The trail mix was gone.

The nice, expensive trail mix, with twelve kinds of nuts and the big sunflower seeds and dried fruits, the kind Tony only rarely left sitting on the common floors for everyone to get at, was gone.

Clint had been looking forward to that stuff all morning.

All the way through a hellish morning “jog” with Steve, all through Nat handing him his ass on the training mats, all through firing the same batch of misweighted arrows over and over so Tony could take scans and fix the design, he’d been thinking, when this is done I get to go upstairs and hang out on the couch and watch Dog Cops and eat the good trail mix, guilt-free.

And it was gone.

Clint was gonna shoot somebody.

Just as soon as he figured out who’d taken the trail mix.

kingofmemes posted:

yesterday i saw a sad duck in the park who kept getting picked on by the other ducks so today i brought some trail mix and we had a nice lunch together. also i think he might be the duck who pooped on sam last week. if so, he is officially my new best friend.

Posted at 3:29 PM, 24379 notes

(Read More Below)

Was...was that Barnes? No way was that Barnes. There was zero chance that the huge guy teaching a swarm of kids how to throw a baseball in the park was the Winter Soldier. That was ridiculous. Barnes was probably back in the Tower, brooding or something. Definitely not throwing crazy curveballs while a six year old with a broken arm rode piggyback. There were a dozen or so kids of varying ages clustered around, trying to mimic his throw. And while the big guy did have hair about the same length as Barnes’s, Barnes’s hair definitely wasn’t done up in sloppy child-made braids and topped with a dandelion flower crown. And Barnes would rather loose his right arm than deal with a bunch of kids, right? Even if these grubby little monsters were being remarkably well-behaved.

Had to be somebody else. Clint kept walking.

kingofmemes posted:

today i learned that i can throw a baseball hard enough that it will explode on impact. and also that if you do that, you better be prepared to teach a bunch of kids how to do it, because they wont ever leave you alone otherwise

Posted at 4:47 PM, 26658 notes

Clint actually tripped over the package left in front of his door. Avenger he might be, but it had been a long day at the end of a longer week, and he was tired. And usually there wasn’t anything left in the hallway to trip over, what the hell.

Clint grabbed the box and dragged himself into his apartment. Hopefully it wasn’t a bomb. If it was, he was totally gonna get blown up, because he was too tired to check before he opened it.

It wasn’t. It was a bizarre knit shirt-thing, big enough to fit him and with a hood and hoodie pocket, but without sleeves.The whole thing was made of a soft dark purple yarn, and it seemed unbelievably warm. It was...kinda perfect. He’d just been complaining on the last op about how hard it was to find warm clothes he could wear that didn’t restrict his arms so he couldn’t shoot.

He pulled it on. It was even warmer than it looked, and softer than Thor’s godly hair. Clint loved it.

But who the hell had given it to him?

kingofmemes posted:

i dont care what anyone says, knitting is a combat-applicable skill, and if you disagree i will fight you. with my knitting needles.

Posted at 3:42 AM, 47292 notes

There were cupcakes on the counter. Beautiful, glorious, still-warm cupcakes on the kitchen counter, and Clint was gonna eat all of them before anyone stopped him.

Well. Maybe he would share with Nat. Otherwise she might make him regret it. Nat was kinda the worst.

Wait, were these cupcakes for him?? They were lavender. With purple frosting. And the other half were little dark chocolate and red velvet sandwiches. Maybe it was a coincidence? Clint mused it over as he shoved a third lavender cupcake in his mouth. The red-and-black ones had some kind of dark red filling leaking out between the layers. It looked like blood. Nat reached past him and snagged two of them. He’d jump, but he’d gotten used to her sneaking up on him all the time. She was the worst. Clint refrained from commenting by stuffing a fourth cupcake in his face. They were really good.

Nat made a little muffled moan noise. Clint reached for one of the red cupcakes, and she slapped his hand down. “Those are mine,” she grunted around her mouthful of cake, because she was only ladylike when it suited her.

“Says who?” Clint asked, even as he took another purple cupcake.

Nat pointed to the paper plate. Where Clint’s cupcakes had previously sat, there was blocky sharpie lettering: Have fun on your mission & dont die. Below was a little drawing of an arrow and a spider. There was no signature.

Huh.

Nat swallowed. “We need to leave now if we don’t want to be late for the pre-op briefing.”

Aw, no, cupcakes. There were still so many left, Clint didn’t want to leave them. They wouldn’t last a day in the Tower.

“Take the cupcakes with.” Nat ordered, sweeping out of the room.

Nat was the best.

kingofmemes posted:

cupcakes are great. you could have one really big cake or 40 tiny cakes, thats so fantastic. im gonna die if i keep making this many cupcakes somebody help me eat all these

Posted at 5:43 PM, 23749 notes

Barnes had a death wish. It was the only logical conclusion. There was literally no other reason for him to suddenly yell “Motherfucker!” during a debriefing, while Nick Fury was talking.

That was the kinda thing that got you keelhauled. Clint would know, he was a human disaster. Barnes was apparently worse, though he seemed to have balls to match, because he sat still and maintained eye contact as Fury glared him down. Weaker men and some brick walls had crumbled under that glare.

Barnes waited him out, and endured the following dressing-down with respectful yes-sirs no-sirs and sorry-sirs. And then promptly dashed out of the room as soon as the debriefing was over.

Weird.

kingofmemes posted:

ever get clawed in the stomach by the secret kitten you rescued and stashed in your hoodie pocket? because let me tell you. it 1. hurts and 2. hurts emotionally, because i love her and she hates me

Posted at 4:47 AM, 37294 notes

Clint staggered into the common room. A bad op gone worse had not at all been helped by a stint in medical, which he hated, and he’d gotten home to discover that Lucky had knocked a houseplant over and somehow gotten dirt through the whole apartment and needed a bath. And Lucky did not like baths. Plus he was still dealing with a nasty cold. So now Clint was tired, injured, sick, wet, and somehow still covered in dirt.

Aw, life, no.

Barnes was on the couch, watching with raised brows as Clint stood and contemplated the disaster that this week had been. Possibly also he might be judging Clint for being such a human train wreck.

Clint sneezed pathetically.

Barnes stood up. Clint watched him, too exhausted to be concerned.

“You look like you could use a hug.” Barnes informed him.

It took Clint a moment to separate out what he’d expected Barnes to say and what he’d actually said. And then he said, “What?” Because, no way.

“A hug. Want one?” Barnes repeated, like Clint was slow. Which, to be fair, his brain was basically operating at the pace of a drunk slug.

“I...thought you were a no-hugging friend.”

“Mostly yes, but I’m in a good headspace today and you look like you could use either a hug or a mercy killing. And I don’t wanna get blood on this knife, I just cleaned it.”

Huh. That was...huh. Should he be touched or terrified? Clint didn’t think he had the emotional energy for both.

“So. Hug. Want one?”

“...yeah, please.”

Barnes was a weird hugger. He came in slow and careful like he was expecting something to detonate, but once he was there, it was like being wrapped up by the world’s nicest bear. Strong and steady and taller than Clint, damn him, but nice.

“Thanks.” Clint mumbled at his toes.

“Yeah, yeah. Sit on the couch, I’m gonna make you some soup before you pass out.”

Barnes was such a softie, Clint thought, splayed on the sofa, and slipped into sleep.

kingofmemes posted:

it turns out that the best way to cure grumpiness is with hot food and niceness. or maybe it was the murder threat that helped.

whichever. ill keep doing both just to be sure.

Posted at 4:47 AM, 5392 notes

Mod Hell note: Please note that Bucky did not feed bread to the duck. That is because bread is BAD FOR BIRDS and you should never give it to them, as it can cause serious health problems. Nuts and veggies are good. Google it.

#sometimes sams bird telepathy #just means birds understand him when he calls them assholes #Clint and bucky get along #still not shipping but you can take this as you will #sniper bros #special thanks to Nimitz #who just clawed me in the gut.#verisimilitude #bucky barnes #clint barton #Team Naptime #bucky king of memes #Tales from the Tower

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