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natasha-in-space · 2 years

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A Crimson Rose

。• *₊°。.❀。• *₊°。.❀。• *₊° 。

Pairing: Suit!Saeran/gn!reader

Summary: You never expected to visit this garden again, much less with Saeran as your companion. The night air feels fresh and with it, comes an intriguing encounter, which you'll reminiscence on for a long time to come. (The reader is implied to have stayed in Magenta for a longer period of time rather than the amount stated in canon. This was done for me to establish their relationship with Saeran and allow for a much more organic interactions on my part! Please keep that in mind.)

You fiddled awkwardly with the hem of your shirt in between your fingers, having no idea where to put your hands. When Saeran ordered you to be ready to meet him at the door immediately, this was not at all what you expected, especially in the middle of the night. It seemed like a whole eternity had passed since your last visit to this garden... It would be foolish to try to deny that everything around you did not bring back such dear memories of Ray and all the precious times spent with him here. From a gentle melody of leaves rustling about, enveloping an entire perimeter of the garden with the aura of calmness, to various colorful buds, near which Ray stopped by to share with you the knowledge of his dear friends.

It seemed like everything has remained the same, not suffering a single significant change since the disappearance of a hacker you held dear to your heart. This thought... stung.

Was it just another game from Saeran? A test? Some kind of cruel joke? Much to your surprise, he had not uttered a single word since your 'walk' had begun. Except for occasional orders in the form of sporadic: 'faster!', or 'don't fall behind!', not a single worthwhile phrase has escaped past his lips, thus putting you in a rather uncomfortable position. You had no idea what he was thinking or what you should be expecting from him today.

And yet... A small pang of shame in your chest made you silently shake your head and try your best to distract yourself from these gloomy thoughts. Whatever motivation Saeran might have... It's not very right of you to think only of Ray right now.

Even though... denying the fact that you miss him would be stupid.

Completely lost in your thoughts, you did not even notice how your companion stopped abruptly, forcing you to bump your nose against his back. You immediately gasped in shock and took a hasty step back. The heat of embarrassment rose to your cheeks, treacherously revealing an overwhelming feeling of awkwardness that raged in your mind along with the frantic pounding of your heart against your ribcage.

Stupid, stupid-

"Ah- I'm sorry! I-I didn't mean to push you, Saeran..."

A nervous smile strained your features as you frantically waved your hands in front of your red face. Oddly enough, in response to your obvious mistake, Saeran only rolled his eyes at you and clicked his tongue, defiantly folding both arms on his chest.

"Tch, your clumsiness never ceases to amaze me, toy. I'm surprised you could even get down the stairs on your own without tripping over your own feet like you usually do. No wonder Ray was so eager to lock you in that room, never letting you out again, hahaha!"

He cackled, clearly enjoying this opportunity to make fun of you.

Though, his gaze narrowed in displeasure as you instantly lowered your eyes to your feet, just like you always did whenever he mentioned Ray to you. This wasn't the first time he told you this... And it's not like you were so naive so as to not notice painfully obvious red flags in Ray's behavior towards you. Ray wasn't perfect or a saint... He was... Ray. And that was enough for you.

You just wished Saeran would understand that too.

Hacker snorted, turning his back on you again and hastily tapping his shoe on the ground to demonstrate his impatience.

"Well, whatever... I don't have time to put up with your fuck-ups today anyway. Unlike you, I have a ton of important responsibilities waiting for me. You'll have to catch up one way or another, airhead."

And with that, without giving you a single warning in advance, he suddenly grabbed your hand and tugged you towards him, causing you to clumsily stumble after him with a startled squeak falling from your lips. It seemed that he had no intention of addressing this strange gesture, simply continuing down the path with wide confident steps and dragging you along, as if nothing had even happened. Your heart trembled helplessly in your chest. Perhaps something is wrong with you since even such small signs of affection from him could create a raging storm of emotions within you... But with Saeran, you quickly learned just how important it was for you to be able to read between the lines. To notice these occasional small glimpses that could slip past you with ease. Glimpses of someone much more versatile and empathetic than this cruel facade of endless rage that Rika has forced upon him.

You wished that, one day, Saeran would no longer have this need to prove his strength and resilience to someone so desperately. You wished... to see him bloom freely.

Just like Ray did.

His hand felt rough and cold around your own, letting you know perfectly of all exhausting work those hands do, day in and day out, without a single break for proper rest. Ray never took off his gloves... therefore, being able to touch his hand like this, without a single barrier separating his skin from yours, made your entire body fill up with ticklish warmth, trying desperately to burst out of you in the form of a happy wide grin. Which you tried to restrain with the best of your abilities.

You didn't want to ruin this moment, after all.

He reminded you of a stray cat you once met, back when you were still a kid. How nobody wanted anything to do with her, since she was too aggressive and refused to let people get close to her. They deemed her as evil and hostile, but you never gave up on trying to befriend her. It took you time and a lot of patience, slowly but surely proving to the thin hungry animal your trustworthiness. You learned about the many scars this poor cat harbored on her tiny body. She was even missing an eye. You learned that... she was just scared. Terrified to be hurt like that again. But... after literal months of slow bonding, she finally trusted you enough to pet her. Granted, she was still pretty squeamish about the whole ordeal, however, she trusted you enough to know that you won't hurt her. You couldn't help but think of that small grey cat during moments like this, smiling warmly at the memory. You knew Saeran was just trying to protect himself. Of course, his violent behavior towards you was not justifiable, and you knew that. You made a rational choice to fight for him.

And you were determined to see it through up to the bitter end.

For a moment, you glanced at Saeran's facial expression, trying to be as discreet as possible. Instead of the usual angry scowl or a cruel grin, you were met with a display of deep thoughtfulness, as if he was lost inside his head, completely oblivious to the reality surrounding him.

He looked absolutely exhausted... and kind of lonely.

You gently wrapped your fingers around his palm in return, wanting to provide him your support without pronouncing any words. Yes... Despite everything, you still believed in him. And... you sincerely cared for him - just as you cared for Ray.

After what seemed like an eternity, which in reality was only a couple of minutes, you found the courage to try to start up a conversation, feeling slightly embarrassed by the unnatural silence on his part.

"Um... So, where are we going?"

Saeran tilted his head in your direction, raising an eyebrow in cold amusement.

"And you bothered to ask that only now? Pretty late for that, don't you think?"

For a moment, a familiar sly grin crept up across his lips before he returned his gaze to the road in front of you. A short, irritated sigh followed, as if he was too tired to maintain his usual front, but also unwilling to drop his defenses in front of you completely. Not yet, anyway.

"Forget it. We're almost there, so I don't see the point in explaining every single painfully obvious detail to you. I'm not your teacher, toy, remember this at last!"

Of course.

All you could do was sigh and resign yourself to your fate, silently following Saeran along the many crooks and crannies of this garden. How did he even know his way around here so well, anyway? It's not like he comes here often, after all.

"Fine..."

You mumbled, puffing out your cheeks in quiet defiance and instead deciding to fix your gaze upon the many bushes surrounding you, consisting of flowers of all possible shapes and sizes.

Saeran really is different today... You wondered what could have possibly happened. Spending time with him like this… felt quite pleasant, if you were being honest with yourself. His occasional hissy remarks towards you no longer had any real effect on you, and having the opportunity, albeit with an effort, but still exchange a few words with him in a calm mutual dialogue, was incredibly pleasing. Finally, he broke his stride, quickly releasing your hand and taking a couple of steps to the side, as if looking for something specific. You resisted the urge to reach out for his hand again, already missing the warm feeling of his palm around your own. Instead, you followed after Saeran, peering warily over his shoulder and trying to discern the reason for your visit to this garden during such late hours of the night.

"And... what are we doing here?"

You decided to ask, already feeling much more at ease in his company and expressing genuine interest in his possible plans.

Instead of providing you a precise answer, Saeran turned to face you and took a step closer, reducing an already rather tiny distance between you two to the very minimum. For a moment, you were quite taken aback by his sudden closeness. It's not like such action on his part was something new to you... But right now, feeling him this close... it was too dangerous for your already helplessly fluttering heart. And yet, you did not find the strength to back away this time. You simply froze in place and did not take away your bewildered gaze from his face not even for a second. To your dismay, you couldn't help but notice how utterly gorgeous Saeran looked in the mesmerizing light of many night lamps surrounding you. It was framing his slender figure in a most ideal way possible, like he was glowing. He looked different from Ray... However, the way his beauty took your breath away felt just as overwhelming.

For some reason, you didn't feel a single hint of threat as he grabbed your chin in between his fingers with odd sense of elegance in his movements. He delicately lifted your face towards him, thus cutting off all possible escape routes you might have had before. Not that you even thought about taking your eyes off him, though.

For a moment, strange silence hung between you two, interrupted only by the soft rustling of various bushes around you and soft melody of crickets continuing their seranade without any worry in the world. You could not read an odd expression that was written all over his face at this moment. You did not have the slightest idea what answers he might have wanted to seek out by peering so intently into your eyes. It was as if he could see your very soul in all its glory.

Saeran is definitely acting strange... Being this close to him, you couldn't help but notice deep dark bags under his eyes. They were an ideal representation of incredible fatigue that he had to fight off every single day. Perhaps something happened during his work...? You had no idea.

Whatever it was, you did not have much time to think and ponder. Just as quickly as Saeran's shield of rage and bitterness faded, it reappeared again, making itself known in the form of a wide mocking smirk, distorting his previously peaceful features. A stinging, raspy laugh reached your ears, sending a wave of goosebumps down your spine.

Agh... This is bad. You need to pull yourself together!

Saeran cocked his head to the side with a taunting curiosity, like a sly cat, providing you with his next question.

"Well, how do you enjoy a night stroll with me in your precious garden, hm, prince/ss? I know that you wanted to come here. You spent almost all of your free time staring at this place 'out your window. It's annoying. I honestly thought about the possibility of moving you somewhere where you won't be able see even a glimpse of this useless dirt as your punishment. But... I think this will serve as a good enough lesson for you. Be grateful."

An already familiar to you mocking tone of his speech gave rise to a pulling feeling of disappointment in your chest, however... This time, you did not lower your gaze, continuing to evenly and calmly withstand a stern look of his mint eyes and waiting for his further actions. For some reason, there wasn't even half the fervor that he usually put into his torment of you. It's like he's not as interested in his threats as he would like you to believe.

As if there was more to this than simply a raw desire to humiliate you and feel better about it.

Saeran bowed his head, moving close enough to you that your noses were almost touching. The pungent smell of his cologne hit your nostrils hard. You knew how obsessively he used it to eradicate any signs of his 'weaker' half.

The tone of his voice dropped noticeably, turning into a barely audible growl meant for your ears only.

"Tell me the truth now, toy... You've been daydreaming about Ray all this time, haven't you? Ever since you saw this place in front of you again, right? So lost in your useless fantasies about that good-for-nothing bug... You don't even notice anything around you. Hilarious!"

It was hard to tell what exactly were his motives here. Was it just another mockery, an attempt to start a dialogue with you in such an eccentric way, or something deeper and more vulnerable, hidden behind the facade of sadism and cruelty he put on?

Well, whatever it was... The answer came out of your mouth before you even had a chance to think it over.

"I won't lie to you that I don't miss him... This place is a source of many precious memories between us. But... Ray is not the cause of my clumsiness today. I... really do enjoy spending time with you here, Saeran. With you, this place feels different. Not worse... but different. Maybe I just got too lost in my thoughts about this on the way. I'm sorry if I hurt your feelings in any way. I'll try to be more attentive from now on."

You smiled as you slowly lifted one of your hands to carefully cup his wrist where it rested against your face. Of course, Saeran immediately jerked his hand back, taking a step back and snorting under his breath.

"It's very arrogant of you to think that you can 'hurt' me in any way possible. And I don't need your stupid apologies anyway."

Well, that was to be expected. Still, he didn't react as harshly as one might expect, so you just nodded at him with a slight smile on your lips, deciding not to push him any further. Holding your gaze for a couple more moments, he moved to a nearest bush and jerked his head at you, silently beckoning you to him. As you approached the plant, you could make out lush buds of a blood-red hue, immediately feeling taken aback by their deep brightness in soft lighting of the night.

These were most magnificent roses you had ever seen!

"They are beautiful..."

You muttered, mesmerized by the natural beauty in front of you. It seems that only now your nose was able to catch on a sweet aroma emanating from the collection of red buds scattered in this part of the garden.

Saeran chuckled under his breath, clicking his tongue at you.

"Of course, an airhead like you would spend their time gaping at some useless weeds. I didn't bring you here to admire your precious flowers, so snap out of it!"

"-Then why are we here, Saeran?"

You asked, gently touching soft petals of a certain rose before redirecting your gaze back to him with genuine curiosity. He stepped closer, thoughtfully squeezing the same flower you had touched a moment before between his fingers.

"Do you know what they mean?"

Saeran arched an eyebrow questioningly, never taking his eyes off your face. You hummed, putting one finger to your chin in thought.

"Mmm... Yes? These are red roses... They represent love, right? Perhaps this is the most famous flower in terms of its meaning..."

You giggled, remembering hundreds of people rushing to buy lush bouquets consisting of bright red roses for their loved ones whenever a holiday was coming around. Although you had nothing against red roses in particular, it would be foolish not to admit that they were a rather cliché flower in terms of a gift.

Why did Saeran decide to stop at this particular bush though? Red roses didn't seem like the kind of flower he would like.

Saeran nodded, shrugging nonchalantly and returning his attention to a colourful bud in front of him.

"Exactly. I wouldn’t be surprised if that weakling gave them to you in his bouquets... However, did you know that red roses have another meaning to them?"

Something about that wry smirk he gave you made you hesitate for a second, not having the slightest idea where he was heading with all this.

"Really...? And what do they mean then?"

You asked, your eyes flickering from the rose back to his face, as if searching for some clue that would guide you to the right answer. Saeran's grin only grew in size, indicating satisfaction with your answer, before, in one swift motion, he plucked the flower from its stem, raising the crimson bud into the light of the lanterns. You involuntarily grimaced at the unpleasant crack that accompanied the picking of a rose, mentally noting the unceremoniousness of his movements. Of course, Saeran wouldn't be careful with some flower... You should have expected something like that from him. Taking a couple of steps back, he lifted the flower higher, giving you the opportunity to see the beautiful bud in all its details. Against your instincts, you stepped closer, waiting for his next move. This seemed to please him as he brought the rose closer to your face, clearly demanding your full attention now.

"For everyone, red roses carry a message of love and passion, because that is what people decided on a long time ago. No one suspects that these flowers are not at all as ideal and innocent as everyone would want to believe."

His grip on the stem tightened noticeably, forcing you to resist the urge to ask him to let go of the unfortunate flower. Instead, you tried to listen to his story, biting your lip and clenching both hands into fists at your sides. It seems that there is some allegory to his words, which you had not yet been able to catch on...

Saeran continued.

"For example, did you know that red roses were a symbol of war once upon a time? A representation of spilled blood belonging to hundreds of lives... Ironic, isn't it? Perhaps that is where this rose got its color from. Crimson hue of a freshly spilled warm blood. Deep crimson roses also can carry the message of revenge and hatred. Did you know that, prince/ss? I think this value suits them much better. Don't you agree on that?"

A loud joyless laugh escaped past his lips, planting a seed of unease deep in your stomach. However, your attention was focused on something completely different now.

A desperate cry broke free from your lips, interrupting the peaceful atmosphere of the serene garden.

"Saeran!"

Without thinking twice about your actions, you rushed forward, grabbing onto his wrist yet again. This time however, it was for a completely different reason than mere minutes earlier. Where his palm tightly gripped the stem of a scarlet rose, thin droplets of blood trickled down the plant, causing you to gasp in horror. He held it right on the thorns! Not caring about a possible backlash from him, you quickly unclenched his thin fingers around the poor rose, thinking of nothing but the need to rid him of this threat as quickly as possible. You did not even pay attention to the slight prickly pain where the thorns of the flower also pierced into your skin. Instead, you just quickly put it on the nearest railing.

He was squeezing that stem so hard... Your heart clenched painfully in your chest as you got a closer look at his injured palm. Not that it was a serious injury, not at all. But you hated the sight of any injury on him, however small it may be.

You pursed your lips into a thin line, gently squeezing his hand in your own.

"Let's go to my room, I have a small first aid kit in there. Ray... gave it to me when I slipped on the stairs one day. You still have a lot of work to do... It's going to be painful if we do not take care of it properly."

Only now did you manage to carefully consider what was happening, noting the unusual silence on his part. You thought he would push you away, begin to cover you with all sorts of threats, be disgusted by your touch. However, none of this followed suit. Instead, Saeran merely yanked his hand out of your grasp, casually wiping fresh blood on his pants and huffing under his breath. Much softer than expected.

"I don't need your pity. In addition, I'm not a weakling like Ray to whine and shed tears over some stupid scratch. Who do you even take me for, huh?"

You furiously shook your head, reaching out for his hand again.

"It's not just a scratch, Saeran! And even if it was a simple scratch, my opinion would not change at all. I don't pity you, I sincerely want to help you. Please... I'll do whatever you tell me in return - just let me help you this one time. I beg you."

The last thing you wanted was to let him endure his pain like this, gritting his teeth like he always did. He used his hands all the time, dealing with injuries like this would be dreadful! You were sure that he could endure this with ease, but... You did not want him to endure pain from the very beginning.

Not again.

Saeran hissed, taking a step towards you threateningly and lifting your chin toward him with his good hand.

"This is the first time I hear you finally begging me for something, and it is because you want to 'help' me so much? You're definitely not right in the head, toy. I'm not Ray, you realize that!? If you hope to get him back and rid of me by such bizarre behavior - you are even more stupid than I thought!"

You frowned at the crooked grin that twisted his features into the expression of total hostility. Despite his threatening tone, you continued to look straight into his eyes, wanting to prove your sincerity one way or another.

"I know that you're not Ray... I'm thinking about you right now, Saeran, not about him. I know that you can't trust me yet... And I don't want to take away your choice on that matter. But what you're saying about my motives is not true at all. Let me prove it to you."

Please, let me in.

Your words were dangerous, you knew that. No one can predict his reaction to something so blunt and brash coming from you. The beat of your heart echoed against your chest with such heaviness that you were afraid he'd be able to hear it at such close proximity. And yet... You didn't back down. No, you refused to back down. After all, you were ready to fight for Saeran as hard as you were ready to fight for Ray. This won't change.

To your surprise, with a hollow chuckle, a small smirk appeared on Saeran's lips, quite different from what you had seen on his face before.

"Such a foolish flower..."

This nickname didn't come off as humiliating or demeaning to you, instead, taking on new colors that you had not yet been able to understand. But to hear his voice so calm and even... You certainly liked that.

Too afraid to destroy this fragile moment of vulnerability between you two, you just kept staring into his eyes, trying to capture every little detail in his face.

Taking the last slow step towards you, he now stood close enough for you to discern tiny marks of pale freckles scattered upon his cheeks. This made the desire to look away almost unbearable. Ugh... You could feel how hot your face was, it's embarrassing! You had never felt so vulnerable in front of Saeran before... And yet, there was not a single hint of fear or doubt in your heart towards him. Maybe he really is right.

Maybe you're not right in the head.

But still, against all odds, when Saeran once more grabbed your hand in his and pulled you towards him, causing you to stumble awkwardly towards him. Any preconceptions floating in your head before were completely shattered. He was mesmerizing in the soft moonlight, like an angel. You couldn't see him as a monster no matter how hard you tried.

He wasn't a shield or a sword... He was just an ordinary person, he was... Saeran. And what could be more beautiful than that?

The sound of his velvety muffled voice next to your ear snapped you out of your daydreams instantly, making you feel quite embarrassed about your own thoughts just now.

"Don't think you can just tempt me with your kind words like you did with Ray, got that? If you hope that this will work, then you are deeply mistaken. But... I'll give you this one chance. After all, it won't hurt to finally put my toy to some good use for once. Be grateful for it."

Giving you another grin, he simply turned around and pulled you along without taking his hand off yours. All that escaped you was a confused 'uh-', before you were dragged further along the neat path of light sand. You blinked, finally catching up with Saeran's wide steps and looking over your shoulder at the rose bush disappearing behind you. A genuine warm smile lit up your features.

"You know, Saeran... Even though a red rose once was a symbol of war and cruelty... Now, this flower brings love into the lives of people all over the world. Even despite its thorns, it brings so much happiness and joy into our hearts every single year... Its past mistakes don't represent it today. Once upon a time, someone looked at this flower and saw something beautiful in it. I think... This definitely proves the strength and resilience of a red rose. It does fit you quite well, you know."

For a second, just for a split second, his pace faltered, and a truly shocked pair of mint eyes darted to your face, so fleetingly that you might have thought you were just imagining it. In a moment, this temporary show of weakness faded, and Saeran turned back to your path back to Magenta, huffing under his breath.

"You are speaking nonsense, toy."

However, the way his fingers curled softly around your own and how his pale cheeks flushed with a faint pink hue told you more than even a thousand words ever could

#mystic messenger #mysmes #mysme #mm #saeran choi #choi saeran #mystic messenger saeran #mm saeran #suit saeran #suit saeran x reader #saeran x reader #my writing #woo this bad boy is finally finished!!#gonna babble in the tags for a minute sorry #can you believe that this was originally supposed to be a small drabble I wanted to finish for last monday?#yeah I can't either #but it was a ton of fun to write #don't know if Saeran is maybe too soft though TT #I wanted to sorta flesh out his relationship with the reader and show how it progressed #as apposed to how quickly and chaotically it happen during the game #ok maybe I just wanted some soft Suit moments don't bully me #but anyway I REALLY hope he isn't too OOC here #and even if he is #hey we all want him to hold our hand so it's a win either way!#posting this at an inconvenient time but oh well

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