thinking about the way that lingering after her leap of faith , kneeling with her hand outstretched for mono , was more of a reflexive impulse than a conscious choice . dimly six had recognised that she needed to catch her friend and help him , the way she had countless times before this . he'd jumped , and her hand had curled tightly around his . starved fingers snug and secure around his .
her heart was pounding so hard , it seemed to be physically hurting her chest . there was a dull ache burning there anyway - one that was burning more powerfully with every passing second . six's breaths were leaving her in short , sharp pants as she kneeled at the edge of this tremendous drop , gazing at the ground , unable to meet mono's gaze for a tremulous minute .
her music box . her recollection is hazy , the memories are not entirely clear . but she remembers the way mono brought down the hammer on it so brutally . the way it's comforting tune warbled brokenly , and finally stopped short altogether as the metal buckled under his weapon's impact .
every strike against it had wracked her with agony . unbeknownst to her , it had broken a beautiful spell ... a gentle trance that had finally pulled her out of this wretched world and allowed her to know comfort again , however false it might have been .
it could have been so perfect . he could have stayed with her . she wanted him to hear the gentle chimes too . there's another memory of moving closer to him when he arrived , joy surging through her at the familiar call of his voice . a recollection of showing him her treasured silver trinket , trusting him . they could have been safe there . they could have been happy . why did he ruin it ?
how could he smash it to pieces even as she had screamed for him to stop it !
her grasp had inadvertently loosened and her expression had contorted with hatred as she stewed on all that had unfolded . the little cry that mono let out shook her from the miserable flashback , and she musters the will to meet his eye at long last .
he has the audacity to look hopeful , beneath his anxiety . then - to look progressively confused . like he doesn't know what he did to her . blood boiling , eyes frenzied , a lump in her throat rapidly forming , she'd let her gaze bore into him .
his voice sounds faraway as he scrapes out a shaky plea . his fingernails are cutting stark red crescents into her hand as he desperately clutches her . it hurts . he hurts .
he's always been the one that hurts .
there's no more bag to hide behind , and ...
he looks just like ... !
revulsion . hate . terror . betrayal . heartbreak . the movement had to be swift and decisive - a girl hell bent on surviving this , on putting as much distance between herself and this boy as possible . she wrenched her hand free from his grip , shook him off . let him plummet .
then she rose to her feet , ignoring his deafening scream .
six dusted herself off , took a shaky breath as she turned on her heel . and she left him to his fate . didn't so much as glance back . hot , angry , miserable tears pricked at her eyes . she blinked them away .
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you motherfuckers have no concept of what "land back" or "decolonize" even mean. you're too busy demonizing entire groups of people, terrified, shitting yourselves, that they'll do even half of the horrors to you that you've done to them for decades or centuries. this shit comes off as hella racist for real. you hate arabs so much. you hate first nations people so much. you hate black people so much. even if you sympathize with them, you can't fucking bear the idea of them gaining freedom, independence, autonomy, safety, because you're so, so scared they'll hurt you back and cause chaos in the streets. these same people who just want to rebuild. who just want to go home. who just want to see their families again. who just want food. who just want medical care. who just want dry, warm shelter. you're so focused on the ideas of colonization, of "us vs. them", of one people displacing the other for a state to exist, that you cannot comprehend coexistence, and your only idea of peace is if an entire group of people were just gone and dead.
grow the fuck up. for the love of GOD, grow the fuck up.
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