#SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER ANON LOL. its been a month or something

[bigshotautos]

I really like your theory about Spamton basically haunting a mannequin after death. Have you ever touched upon the reaction from Jevil (or anyone, really) upon seeing the new Spamton? Especially considering Spamton isn't even aware he 'died'.

^ how i think jevil's first sight of Spamton would go. i love this ask. this is referring to some headcanons I made a while back, I'll link it here for the one post and the general ghost spamton theory is linked in that one as well. Going to elaborate on it more under the cut for those interested + more art.

In general I think that people from Spamton's past wouldn't really care if they notice at all, since he wasn't in the business of making close friends with anyone. With the Addisons, in my interpretation he had a "weird co-worker" relationship with them, and while Addisons in general treated each other like potential business competitors that they had to make-nice with, Spamton is especially easy to single out for being visibly and temperamentally different. His altered, current state is something they'd feel at least uncomfortable by, but many wouldn't have been too close with him to begin with for them to talk about it with him directly. Would get whispered about between each other for sure, like we saw with them talking about Spamton after the NEO fight. It moves him from the "disgraced guy I used to know" category to the "actually unpleasant to look at or think about" territory. This goes for Swatch, Queen, and Seam (less so), who seem to buy heavily into the Lightner and Darkner dynamic, with Spamton corrupting the Lightner's dream being a strong taboo against what it means to be a Darkner.

As for what Jevil thinks, Spamton during the NEO fight is both a beautiful and horrifying display. Jevil at this point hasn't seen him in years since his imprisonment, and in their time apart Jevil has grown to find novelty in the cage that everyone else besides him is in since he's created huge emotional distance between him and the reality he lives in. Seeing the fact that Spamton had corrupted an abandoned dream of a Lightner and was causing so much chaos to the established order of the world would be exhilarating, but at the same time seeing that Spamton had accomplished this and still had his strings visible (and changed to a marionette puppet with no symbolic agency), it'd be a painful confirmation of his worldview that even Spamton, who deep down he still cares for, could never have been free.

Jevil would think at first he'd just gone through some nebulous situation to change what he looks like, since ofc he himself has toy-like traits (arguable if that happened with Gasterfication or not), Seam is a plushie cat, and other Card Castle Darkners are based on toys, but feeling the lack of life combined with the symbolic body of Spamton would mean to him something bigger had went wrong. He wouldn't dare to bring it up in an empathetic way, stuck in his mindset that it doesn't matter, but it'd still hit a part of him he doesn't like to think still exists. It's something he gets over quickly, almost performatively going back to fucking with him and taking advantage of his fear for entertainment, but it didn't sit well at first.

To me, the fact Spamton "died" isn't really a huge deal, kind of like with the ghosts in Undertale where no one really cares they're just ghosts. They're just doing their thing. To me it'd be fine if neither of them find out what happened for certain, but it's something that adds Flavor to his character.

#asks #deltarune #spamton #jevil #SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO ANSWER ANON LOL. its been a month or something #i asked tumblr user funnywormz for consulation on this for his thoughts as well since he's my accomplice in ghost spamton truthers #my art #ofc this is all just my internal worldview on the thing it's by no means definitive but its just for Fun! #btw as for queen im hardly even joking i think she would have deleted spamton from her memory banks because he was so sucks. #also in the image up top susie cant hear jevil saying this shit it definitely wouldnt have helped. #i think darkners can detect the itemized darkners but lightners cant like with tasque manager and spamneo noticing jevil

[002yb]

i love ur HCs so much! i just read the one of dick staring at jason and it was sooo cute! could u possibly list some hcs for jealous/possessive dick :33pls

Casually answering these like it hasn't been a few months since receiving them ahhhhhh so sorry, anons. Thank you so much though! ;3;

Possessive!Dick feels so underrated ahhhhhhh it's actually so good though i love it and all its flavors so much. (´∀｀)♡ My thoughts are hyperfocused on something kind of dark though?? Still sweet (maybe) and definitely leaning obsessed lol. So let's start there.

Dick's possessiveness stemming from an intense and consuming need to protect; a coping mechanism for all the loss he's ever endured. The lack of control Dick has would scare him, so he'd seize it in whatever way he could and it reads: jealous, territorial, possessive.

What's sad is that people laugh. They think it's just a brother being silly or having a complex or any number of things. More than that - it's Dick clinging to Jason to make sure he stays breathing, that his heart keeps beating. That no one hurts him or touches him or breathes his name.

It starts innocent enough. It's Dick standing closer - always in proximity. It's Dick running interference when necessary (and then even when its not). It's a tactile touch to feel that Jason is warm, but also to keep Dick in an optimal spot to pull Jason out of danger - to throw Dick, himself, in front of it. A barrier, a shield.

It would be concerning, but Dick looks calmer than he has in a long time. Content, even, because Jason is safe. Because Dick ensures it.

This is naturally leaning darker so~ warning? But Dick's thoughts and fears running away from him. Dick thinking back to a failed attempt to kill the Joker, the demon who took Jason away from him before and - it haunts him that Joker still breathes. A risk. A loose end.

It's unprompted, but Dick acts while he still has control over the situation (because he's terrified to have that control taken from him again again again). Fueled by could be's and have been's.

Just a full mental breakdown from Dick. Who takes it further and further because no one is taking what's his from him again.

Comfort!End: Jason talking Dick down, getting Dick help. Loving Dick senseless for the lengths he would go for Jason, recognizing that the feelings are there but Dick is a fractured man and Jason knows how dangerous it is to be so broken so he returns the soft feelings beneath all the heartache and just. Ugly healing, but they get there. ;3;

Angst!End: where Dick lets go of his humanity and Jason is all heart eyes at the lengths Dick would go for him. Very unhealthy but like... (°◡°♡).:｡

The above is dark and angsty for what people expect of me I think LOL sorry. For lighter, softer possessive!Dick hm hm~

Dick getting irritable when someone gets too familiar with Jason and Dick is there to bear witness. If this is at a point in time post-Damian, it most definitely involves little tongue clicks. Just a bad habit of 'tt' to quietly express Dick's disdain/displeasure lol

Sometimes Dick loses against all rationality and gets petty hahaha; he'll turn up the charm, pull out all the charisma and either call the offending party over to him to distract or he'll saddle up next to Jason with tactile touches and scare whoever off with one of these '(°◡°♡).:｡' or he'll bodily exclude them by just putting himself in the way or turning Jason away and LOL petty!Dick is so good.

Usually Dick fights with himself against the possessive feels because he thinks it's dumb, but when he realizes Jason likes it (within reason lol), Dick leans into it. Because he's indulgent. Because he likes to watch how it makes Jason fluster when Dick owns it.

Alternatively, Dick being completely unaware that he's got possessive tendencies towards Jason and it becomes a joke Dick isn't in the know on. Or better yet, it becomes a game on who can push the limits furthest before Dick has that epiphany, himself.

#dickjay #jaydick #dick grayson #jason todd

[writing-hat]

hi hat! im the same anon you responded to earlier in the day and i wanted to say two things:

thank you for being concerned about my essay :) i got it finished on time lol

WTF CHAPTER 15 WAS SO GOOD AND I STARTED TO HYPERVENTILATE HALFWAY THROUGH AND CRIED LIKE TWICE 🤩🤩🤩

like i said before, your writing is so good! after reading ch 15 i was inspired enough to sit down and work on a wip thats been rotting on my computer for months. thanks for being such an inspiration even if it wasn’t something you planned :D

sincerely,

anon :)

(ps from now on im signing these with a smiley face so you know its me)

HIIII I'M SO SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG TO BE ANSWERED I kept deleting and rewriting stuff cuz I can't speak properly _(:3」∠)_

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I'm glad you finished your essay in time GKGRQJKGJREG studies are important (I am obliged to not tell you otherwise RSEKLGRESG) And I'm really glad you enjoyed chapter 15 aaaaaa it was a tough chapter argh sorry you cried ;;w;;) thank you for the nice words tho <3

I'm so glad I got you to work on your own WIP!!! Definitely not something I planned but hey not complaining for more beautiful creations to be sent into the world! Can't wait yo see what you're writing about (if you ever want to share it of course)

Thank you again smiley anon!

Hope you'll like what I have in store next! And see you around!!!

#hat's words #anonymous asks are scary #smiley anonymous person :) #<- you get your own tag lol #(sorry for taking so long to answer btw argh)

[trans-xianxian]

at the risk of sounding like a weirdo....i just saw your grocery store post and it looks like a lot of veggie items? are you vegetarian? i'm trying to be but i'm a bit lost when it comes to food (where i live it's very difficult to be anything other than a meat eater lol) so i'm wondering if you could maybe share some of your favorite staples that you consistently get. thank you so much!!

hi anon sorry it took so long for me to answer this! but yes I've been vegetarian for about 13 years now! you said not eating meat is difficult where you live, and I know that what brands are sold where is always different so I'm not sure if these particular things would necessarily be available to you, but in the scope of like. meat substitutes, morningstar and simple truth both make really good stuff, and tofurky is the only good vegetarian sandwich meat I've had lmao

I usually always have veggie burgers and fake chicken strips/nuggets in my house because you can literally just microwave them with little to no additional effort. there's also rlly good fake meat crumbles for things like tacos and such and rlly good veggie sausages

as for vegetarian foods that aren't a substitute for a meat thing tho - baked veggies are rlly good and easy to make! I like cauliflower and brussel sprouts most. you can just stick them in the oven on high heat in a baking pan w oil, salt, and pepper and you're pretty much set. smoothies are also a go to esp in the summer time. I eat a lot of sandwiches too lmao. if you like yogurt that's a rlly good source of protein! cheese is also a good source of protein and easy to add to things. eggs as well if you like those. veggies like spinach, collards, and kale are all rlly good for iron but I don't like most of them 😔

without meat your consistent meal staples are probably going to become potatoes, bread, rice, and pasta/noodles but I'd say potatoes and rice are definitely the most versatile! as for like. full meals my top five (in no particular order) are probably stir fry with tofu, tacos, baked potatoes w side vegetable and/or meat substitute, home made mac n cheese (I can post my recipe if you'd like 😌), and pasta with salad or some kind of roasted vegetable on the side. vegetarian soup is also p easy to make but I don't like most soups (sorry souptuals)

I know that if you're going out to eat a lot of places don't have very good veggie options esp if you live somewhere that doesn't have a lot of vegetarian/vegan people but there's a lot of really good vegetarian lebanese food and I've found that most thai and chinese restaurants will have at least a few good vegetarian things there. diners are also usually a good place to go out to eat if you need vegetarian stuff

it's going to take awhile to get used to and find the food that you like and works for your body esp if you usually eat meat All The Time but after awhile it won't even be something you think about anymore. I know a lot of people will sort of slowly ease into being fully vegetarian by cutting certain kinds of meat out every few weeks or months so that's also something to consider if you think that it would help!

I will also say that it's probably also a good idea to keep an eye on your iron and how your energy levels are. it's really easy to get an iron deficiency if you're vegetarian/vegan especially if you're also someone who gets their period. if it ends up happening it's usually fixable by just taking iron supplements but its an important thing to look out for so it can be handled appropriately if it becomes an issue!

anyway I hope that this was helpful to you and good luck! if anyone else has some suggestions feel free to reply w them I'm a pretty picky eater so the scope of foods I eat is already smaller lmao

#also I dont think you sound like a weirdo I'm happy to help! #if you have any other questions or want specific recipes feel free to ask ! #ask #anon

[wizkiddx]

hiiiii !!! if you are accepting requests at the moment, can i ask something about reader and tom expecting a baby, one day while he’s drunk she sees him flirting with another women and when she confronts him he snaps at her and tells her he’s not ready for this “shit”. So they broke up and broke contact for months, until he shows in her apartment regretting his words and they talk but she suddenly at that moment gets into labor?!? I remember seeing a concept similar in a movie but I would love if you couldn’t bring it to life! Thank you so much in advance, appreciate your work a lot 🧸🤎

right so I loved this so much it has become a multiple parter and im not even going to apologise. so thanku so so much anon for getting me out a little rut!!!

summary: when toms caught out all hope looks lost - probs part 1 of 3 but it could get a bit longer too lol

warnings: serious angst, reference to abortion, cheating, a whole lot of swearing (im British sorry not sorry)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hi babe, just to let you know Yamna’s invited me out for dinner this evening so don’t worry if you get home early and im not back! I love you x”

It was a spur of the moment plan, which was a rarity recently. The past 5 months since you’d found out, you could name barely 5 occasions you’d been out past 8 oclock- trading your heels for fuzzy slippers and dresses for massively oversized tops and joggers. It wasn’t how you had expected to be spending the summer before your 25th birthday but it was now your life. The rooftop bars, the wild nights, the get aways had all sort of been cancelled for… for the rest of your life.

Because an 8 month pregnant belly isn’t something you can ignore.

Sure…. it wasn’t the plan. Not the plan to be pregnant with your boyfriend of only 6 months, who at the time you didn’t even live with. But you were making it work. And now, you were just excited. It was the start of a new story with Tom, and you’d got past the phase of being sad and mourning your youth. Because the little bubba inside of you, she was pretty awesome and you really couldn’t wait to meet her.

So yes, you had been home alone eating ice cream from a tub when Yamna knocked on the door. She’d been one of your best mates for as long as you could remember so when she’d turned up unannounced with mascara smeared under her eyes you’d cancelled your plans of a pathetic alone evening. Her boss had just given her the sack - which was no surprise. He was a backwards tory old git who couldn’t handle the fact Yamna was a woman doing the job better than he could ever dream of.

So yes, you’d suggested going out to the fancy new bar down the road - to celebrate the fact she no longer had to put up with the arsehole. Obviously you couldn’t drink and neither did Yamna, but you go to a bar for the atmosphere - and the selection of mocktails they had was insane.

Your boyfriend Tom was already out, he said he had a meeting and then dinner with some execs he needed to shmoosh. Of course you didn’t mind, but he had been working a lot recently, in order to be able to have the time off when your baby girl arrives.

So after sending a little text and giving Yamna another hug to try and turn the evening from disappointment to celebration you walked out the door with a smile on your face. Maybe you could pretend, just for an evening to not be pregnant and whale-like?

///////////////////////////

The bar was just a 10 minute walk so it wasn’t long before the two of you were soaking up the atmosphere. It was all decorated in a rustic fashion, with old exposed wood and dangling lightbulbs from the ceiling and the drinks were incredible. The type that have dry ice or flames or some other sort of fantastical display of edible decorations. Even Yamna had perked up, especially when a guy from the table across had bought you both a round of drinks.

“I’m just gonna pop to the loo.”

“Do you really need the toilet or do you just want to parade infornt of the fit rich man who keeps looking at you?”

“ Is both an option?” You laughed as Yamna slipped off her stool, winking rather dramatically as she did so. She was unbelievable - but at least this way she wasn’t thinking about her work, or lack thereof, anymore.

Happily you sat scrolling though your phone, seeing that tom had messaged you with an okay, before flicking through instagram.

And that was where the happiness ended.

For in a hurried manner, with a face looking a lot more ghosted than when she left, Yamna took her seat again.

“Are you okay?” Immediately your worry took over, the way she was biting her lip and not meeting your eyes not helping.

“I um yeh-yeh. Just I think I saw Tom.”

“Tom as in my Tom?” Her almost guilty looking nod had your scrunching your eyebrows, why was it such a big deal Tom was inside?

“He didn’t see me I don’t think but er… he just looked pretty close to a girl and I-“

To be honest you stopped listening at that point, heart dropping out the bottom of your chest. Because it made sense, he had been so distant recently and even if you’d been lying to yourself that it were work - this seemed much more likely. Whilst nodding along, pretending to listen to Yamna, instead your attention was solely focused on fiddling with the promise ring he’d got you after the two of you decided to keep the baby. He’d been so committed, so ready for this unexpected news. He’d said he was in for the long haul.

“Y/n?”

“sorry I um… it’s probably just a work colleague he needs to sweet talk. I’ll um-I’ll just go say hello.”

“I’m coming with you.” She spoke astutely, very much forcing herself into the situation.

“No no I’ll… I’ll come back if I need you, just wait here.”

Her face was so grim and destitute, as much as you were pretending it was okay - you knew it wasn’t. Before Yamna could protest further, you slipped off your seat ( clumsily thanks to the elephant belly) and walked with fake confidence back inside.

It took you barely 3 seconds to hone in on Tom, call it mothers intuition. He was on a booth in the corner with 5 others on his table but none of whom you recognised. It was 2 other guys and 3 girls - the six all paired off in mathcingly initimate conversations. Apart from that you payed almost zero attention to the others, attention solely focused on your boyfriend and the girl he had his arm round.

She was everything you weren’t. She was skinny - you, as previously mentioned, looked like you had a beachball stuffed under your top. She was blonde with sleek and perfectly styled waves at the tips of her long her - yours was thrown into a messy bun due to the last minute plans.

Most importantly - right now she was wrapped in Toms arms, whilst you stood alone watching.

God knows what came over you, but with confidence you never normally had you marched up to the table, just waiting at the end. One of the men you didn’t recognised, arrogantly asked you ‘can I help you’ - but you completely disregarded it, eyes solely fixed on Tom. He took a moment more to look away from the leggy girl, but as soon as he did his eyes grew massively wide.

“Y/n I-I-“

“Fancy bumping into you, I thought you were out with work executives?” Frantically casting his gaze across the table, you could see the cogs whirring to try and come up with an explanation.

“No I-I was but then Charlie here came over, we used to be mates at school and-“

“Oh fuck off Tom., I cant deal with this right now.”

You didn’t even have the energy to listen to his clearly fake excuses as to why he’d landed himself in that situation. You also certainly did not have it in you to maintain the strong face, you could feel everything shattering inside of you.

Because it was so blindingly obvious by how he had acted. You’d caught him out and you both knew it.

And it fucking hurt like hell.

So you exited the bar as fast as physically possible, hearing the shouts of both Yamna and Tom behind you. You didn’t know what you needed in that moment - except that neither of them were the answer. Tom though, presumably the faster of the two, managed to catch up - grabbing your arm to make you halt in the road.

There was this moment between the two of you that time almost seemed to freeze. The two of you, in an otherwise pretty empty residential street, at 9:30 at night, in a moment that you would never have again. From your point of view, you saw the slightly bloodshot and bleary eyes, widened with panic and fear. For Tom he saw the floods of tears down your cheeks, which you hadn’t even noticed were freely streaming.

But in that moment there was, at least, the slightest bit of peace. The slightest bit of hope - that he could explain, that he had some ludicrous but valid reason for the situation you had walked in on. Just a smidgen of hope that this were recoverable.

But then he had to open his bloody mouth.

“Y/n I swear nothing-“

“That didn’t look like fucking nothing!”

“It was I swear! We just-“

“Tom this is your one and only chance. I don’t care if your off your face, if you don’t give my a miracle of a reason as to what the fuck THAT was - then I’m gone.”

“Don’t say that Y/n, you don’t mean th-“ He tried to grab your hand which you snatched away, like you had just scalded it on a hot plate. Like he had hurt you.

“I swear to god I’ve never meant anything more. So cut the shit.”

“FIne-fine! Um so we were at the meeting and then on the way out I bumped into George and hes been a good mate of mine for years.” All you did was hum, arms crossed and making sure you had a metre of distance between the two of you.

“So he said god you look like you need a drink and I agreed because its been stressful as hell recently.”

“Oh its been stressful; for YOU has it? I’m so sorry Thomas, has it been hard for you while i’ve been throwing my lungs up with morning sickness? Has it been stressful that I’ve been running on zero hours sleep because she kicks me all bloody night? ” Your words were laced in a posioned sarcasm, to which Tom just stammered to.

“Please just let me.” Given he was supposed to be fighting for you, he sounded pretty darn defeated already.

“I said yes to the drink.” He skipped out the bit that had angered you, to which you rolled your eyes at. “And one turned into two and more and then I don’t know-“

“Your going to have to try a lot harder than that.” You deadpanned, taking a small step further back still.

“I mean it! The girls were all his friends and we were just talking.”

“Just talking? All pressed up and arms round her?”

“Yes!” As indignant as he retorted, it didn’t not make up for what you had seen with your own eyes.

“Your such a bullshitter Tom!”

“God why wont you just listen to me?” He cried, wobbly doing a little 360 on the spot, in what appeared to be exasperation.

“Because your just spouting fucking lies! And you try and blame it all on poor little tommo being stressed which is-“

“I HAVE BEEN! Running round after you! I’m just tired of this shit!!! So kill me, for having one night of freedom!”

Tom was too deep in his angry lecture to take any notice of you. Which is why, once finished, he waitied, breath heavy and nose flaring. He was waiting for you to scream back at him. To give it back. He was too drunk to notice the change in your demeanor.

“I’m tired of this shit.”

It was just reverberating round your head. Again and again and again. He was tired of your relationship and you hadn’t even become parents yet. He was at his wits-end and the baby was still unborn. What the fuck was going to happen when baby arrived? Clearly there was no hope. It was dead. Your relationship was dead with no chance of revival.

Because he’d said it. Your relationship was shit, and nobody can put up with something they hate for that long. Not 18 years. Not while bringing up a child.

So with a new sense of dread and fear and complete and total isolation you uttered three single words before hysterically running away.

“Don’t follow me.”

Not now, not ever.

?to be continued?

~~~~~~~~~~gahhhh I hope u enjoyed! I also REALLY CANNOT THINK OF A NAME FOR THIS MINISERIES --> if anyone can think of something pls inbox me!!! ~~~~~~~~

tom taglist: @lovehollandy12 @hollandlover19 @thefernandasantana @hunnybunimdun @hallecarey1@cedricdiggorysimpp @msmimimerton @hollandfanficlove @pandaxnienke @crossyourpeter @thegirlwiththeimpala @tom-softie @sunwardsss @spiitfiiires @radcloudenthusiast @ladykxxx08 @prancerrparkerr @wildxwidow @Elishi03 @arctic-monkcys @Ownbauer13 @tomhollandlol

#tom x reader #tom holland imagine #tom holland fanfiction #tom holland angst #tom holland one shot #tomholland #tom holland #tom holland imagines #tom holland oneshot #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland angst #angsty #pregnant!reader

[lifeofkaze]

hello i have fallen i love with your charlie fic (❤❤!!) and i want to ask if you could you write some angst where barnaby has a crush on mc and they're super oblivious and later they start dating someone else ans barnaby realizes he lost them?

My dearest anon, let me say: I AM SORRY. Writing your ask took me forever (literally, lol) even though I had it in my head the moment I got your asks all those months ago. But I never felt the right inspiration to actually write it down until today. Today it just hit me. I do hope you're actually still around and reading what I made out of it.

I'm really truly sorry. 😅

So, without further ado, I present to you:

Missed Chances

Barnaby Lee x Reader

Barnaby Lee wasn’t the smartest kid around.

He was by no means dumb, he just wasn’t as clever or booksmart as most of his peers, a fact he was well aware of. But it didn’t bother him that much, really. He had found his means of getting by during classes and ever since distancing himself from Merula Snyde back in their third year, he had been able to gather a circle of friends around him he could fall back upon.

There was popular Penny Haywood for Potions, shy but gifted Ben Copper for Charms, and ever so patient Rowan Khanna when he had troubles with Transfiguration.

Barnaby’s favourite study sessions, however, were those for Defense Against The Dark Arts. Not because he was particularly bad at the subject; on the contrary, he was a skilled duelist and most charms and jinxes came naturally to him. No, the real reason those lessons were his favourite was because it was you who was teaching him.

Ever since he’d been drawn into your close circle of friends, his above average DADA marks had been plummeting, since he kept getting distracted during class. The professors weren’t impressed but neither surprised at his apparent lack of academic skills and under normal circumstances, Barnaby would have tried everything in his power to prove them wrong, that he could do better, that he wasn’t as stupid as everyone made him out to be.

But when you offered your help in catching up on the subject, Barnaby had changed his mind. You were always top of your DADA class and what better way to spend some time alone with you while listening to your beautiful voice explaining the differences between a curse and a hex.

Barnaby knew most of the things you were telling him already, so he had ample time to just watch you talk during your study sessions. He knew no one else could get so excited over dark creatures and cursed objects like you did. The way your eyes were sparkling when lecturing him on the differences between a werewolf and regular wolf had him enthralled every single time and the proud smile you gave him when he answered one of your questions correctly never failed to make Barnaby’s heart beat hard in his chest.

He would have loved to see that smile more often, but he made sure to let his real knowledge of the subject shine through sparingly. He was afraid that if he got too good, you might want to drop studying with him and that was something he couldn’t risk; spending time with you had become the highlight of his day. No one he knew rivalled the warmth you radiated and the unbroken faith you had in him, a sentiment that was completely new to Barnaby.

When the big news of the Celestial Ball was announced, it was all his peers could talk about. What to wear, how to look and who to bring were the questions dominating all of the four common rooms.

Barnaby never had to think twice who he wanted to be his date for the dance. He thought about how to properly ask you out for days on end; you were no common girl after all. You were the most extraordinary girl he knew and thus deserved an extraordinary invitation. But when he finally plucked up the courage to ask you out, you looked at him sheepishly.

“That’s so sweet of you, Barney. I’m so flattered, really. But I already promised Rowan and Ben to go with them. You know, just as friends.”

His heart sank at the words. Why hadn’t he acted sooner? Maybe people were right about him being stupid after all.

Seeing his disheartened look, your face changed into something softer. “But I’m sure Rowan and Ben wouldn’t mind if you came along with us? As another friend?”

Barnaby beamed at her. “I’d love that. We’re going to have such a great time together, as friends,” he added, not quite sure whom he wanted to reassure, you or himself.

He would probably never forget the night of the Celestial Ball when he saw you in the dress André Egwu had designed for the first time. Rowan and Ben had arrived at the ball before you and when you stepped into the Great Hall all on your own, Barnaby’s breath stopped for a moment.

You were dressed in a beautiful, burgundy dress with intricate patterns embroidered around the neckline. Your waist was accentuated by a small belt and the skirt of your dress flowed around you in several layers of fabric. You looked like an ethereal being to him as you walked through the crowd over to him, Rowan and Ben, your skirt trailing slightly behind you.

His eyes didn’t leave you for the whole evening even for a second. He could hear you laughing when you danced with Rowan and Ben, the sound like silver bells to his ears. When he asked you for a dance with him, your hand just happened to fit perfectly into his and your bright smile made Barnaby forget everything else around you and him. He did take great care to not step on your dress, however. You looked so perfect, he didn’t want to ruin it with his own clumsiness; although he pretty much doubted anything could have taken away from your beauty.

When the Celestial Ball was over, Barnaby took the chance to walk you back to your common room. You had your arm linked with his and marched in step with him. As he was taller than you, it required some effort on your part, the strange walking rhythm making you giggle. The sound had Barnaby’s heart beat faster.

Barnaby was almost reluctant to let you go when you had reached the concealed entrance to your common room. He wasn’t quite sure what to do; all he wanted to do was put his arms around you, drawing you as close to him as possible and never letting go again. But he hesitated; what if you didn’t feel the same?

To gain some time, he cleared his throat. “I had a lot of fun tonight.”

“Me too,” you smiled at him. “I’m glad you came along. You just have the most fun with your friends, right?”

The word ‘friends’ put a damper on the butterflies that had been swarming in Barnaby’s stomach until this point.

“Yes, friends,” he echoed, “because we’re friends.”

A look of confusion crossed your face for a moment. “Are you alright?”

“Of course I am,” Barnaby lied quickly, glad that the flickering light of the torches hid the blush spreading on his cheeks. “Just exhausted from dancing, I guess.”

“Oh, alright. I’d better get to my common room then. Good night.”

There was a short, awkward pause, before you smiled at him, waved and vanished into your common room. Barnaby sighed; at least for night, he had definitely botched his chances.

Ever since the Celestial Ball and the anticlimax of its ending, Barnaby had made it his mission to convince you there was more to him than being your friend. He’d ventured into the library on his own and gathered together all books on romance he could find and read every single one of them. Most of them, especially the older ones, had given him quite some headaches, but he knew you enjoyed reading old love stories, so maybe they had some useful information to offer. How someone could spend their free time reading things like Jane Austen for fun, however, remained a mystery to him.

And apparently, the tips he had sourced weren’t that helpful either. Barnaby tried it all, he complimented you, he brought you flowers and small gifts that reminded him of you and tried connecting with you over things he knew you loved. Whenever he saw the chance to ask you out he tried. But as soon as he had gathered his courage, you had already promised one of your numerous friends to go with them instead. It was exasperating, really.

All the while, the study sessions with you continued. Barnaby had stopped pretending to be as oblivious as he made himself out to be in the beginning; he knew it was risky, in case you might want to drop studying with him if he got better, but he was too addicted to your smile at this point. No matter how hard his day had been, a smile from you and everything else was forgotten.

Barnaby wished you would finally notice just how much he adored you, but as long as he could spend time with you, listen to your voice and hear your laughter, everything was fine with him.

Until it was not.

He had noticed you were distracted lately and not as talkative as he was used to. Today’s Potions class was no exception. Professor Snape, who was even moodier than usual, was lecturing the class on the importance of knowing potion recipes by heart.

“You will not always carry a textbook with you,” he droned, “and while I wouldn’t trust half of you to brew a potion even with proper instructions, maybe some of you will be able to produce something remotely resembling a proper concoction by sheer luck. If I see one piece of parchment on the table, you will clean your classmates’ cauldrons after class. Begin.”

Dreading the next two hours of guessing which ingredients to use in what order, Barnaby glanced over to you. But you hadn’t been listening to the instructions, it seemed. Your attention was focused on a piece of parchment in front of you, hastily scribbled lines running across it. Barnaby tried catching a glimpse but when you noticed, you blushed deeply and quickly covered the parchment with your hand.

Barnaby, however, wasn’t the only one who had noticed the piece of parchment. Before you could do anything, Professor Snape had appeared next to you and snatched the parchment out of your grip.

“I thought I said no notes allowed, or didn’t I express myself clearly enough for your convenience?” he snarled.

“No, Professor, you misunderstand,” you gasped, “these aren’t Potions notes, it’s private. Can I please have it back?”

You reached for it, but Snape jerked his hand up so it was just out of reach. “That gives it even less reason to be present in my classroom,” he said coldly, a cruel smile stealing onto his face. “Let us share with the rest of the class what is distracting you from my lesson.”

Your cheeks were glowing bright red as Snape started reading the content of your note.

“Do you like me? Yes or No. Circle your answer,” he read out loud. “How droll,” he sneered over the chuckle of your classmates, “I suggest, next time you concentrate more on your potion and less on your silly personal bearings. Perhaps the result will be more decent then. 10 points from you and detention tonight.”

As he swept past your table, Barnaby noticed your hanging head. You had your hands clasped tightly together in your lap and seemed so small all of a sudden that he felt furious. Even though Snape was his head of house, he had no right whatsoever to embarrass you in front of everyone like that.

“Are you okay?” he asked you gently.

Not looking at him, you shook his head. “Why did he have to do that?” you whispered. “He could see I wasn’t taking notes. There was no need to read it out loud.”

“There wasn’t,” Barnaby agreed. He hesitated for a moment before reaching out and lightly placing his hand on your arm. “He’s just a big, old, mean bat. Everyone says so.”

You sniffed, a small smile already spreading on your face again. “That’s true. Thank you.” You covered his hand with yours and squeezed it lightly. The touch sent jolts of energy through Barnaby from where your hands connected. His skin was still tingling when you turned towards your cauldron again, breaking the contact.

“Who was your note for, anyway?” Barnaby asked, trying not to sound as if this wasn’t the question burning red hot on his mind.

You looked at him wide-eyed. “I can’t possibly tell you.”

“Why not? Do I know him?”

Blushing again, you could only nod before dropping your gaze.

“It’s someone I’ve been friends with for a while now, but I don’t know if he feels the same. I don’t want to ruin our friendship by making a stupid move.”

Barnaby held his breath. You couldn’t possibly be talking about him, could you?

“How could it ruin your friendship?” he asked. “If he’s your friend, he’s your friend and nothing can change that.”

He took a deep breath. “Maybe you should just tell him,” he said deliberately casually, “who knows, maybe that friend of yours has been feeling the same for some time now, too.”

You looked up at him in surprise. “You think so?”

Barnaby nodded in agreement. “Definitely. Just try your luck, maybe you’ll be surprised.”

After the class was over and you had parted ways for the rest of the day, Barnaby counted the minutes until the evening when you had agreed to meet for another study session before your detention. He was positively bouncing with energy ever since lunchtime. You had come over to him with a nervous smile on your lips to ask him to meet up with you later.

“Chances are, I’ll need to tell you something,” you had said with a shaky laugh before joining your other friends for lunch. Barnaby had swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to look unfazed, but his insides had been burning with impatience ever since.

That was why he had arrived earlier than usual at the library that evening. He picked all the books out you would be needing and stacked and restacked them several times at the table you were usually working on.

It felt like an eternity until you finally entered the library, each second dragging into an eternity of its own. Barnaby saw you first. You stood in the entrance to the grand room and all of a sudden the library seemed to be a little brighter just by you being there. You scanned the rows of bookshelves with your eyes and a wide smile appeared on your face as they fell on him, waiting for you between books and quills in your favourite spot.

You quickly bounded over to him, a spring in your step that was a stark contrast to the miserable mood you had been in this morning. Before Barnaby even had a chance to ask what made you so happy, you had flung your arms around his neck in a tight embrace.

On instinct, Barnaby put his arms around your waist and held you for a sweet moment that he wished would last forever. He could smell the flowery scent of your perfume and breathed it in deeply, trying to commit every last detail of how you felt in his arms to memory. He was sure you had to feel his heartbeat; how could you not with how hard it was hammering against his ribcage?

“He said yes, Barney! He really said yes!” you squealed, not caring one bit about Madam Pince’s indignant shush.

The sheer happiness coursing through his veins turned into ice that froze him from the inside in a matter of seconds. Confused, he loosened his hold on you and pushed you far enough away from him to look you in the face. The joy visible on it almost broke his heart.

“What?”

“My crush!” you beamed at him. “I followed your advice and asked him out, just now! And he said yes!” you repeated, hugging him again.

“You’re the first person I wanted to tell,” you said. Barnaby could feel your breath on the skin exposed by the open collar of his shirt. He hated himself for the shiver running down his spine.

“Why?” was all he managed to whisper in response.

“Because without you, I’d never have the courage to talk to him upfront. It’s all thanks to you that I have a date now. You’re really the best friend I could ask for.”

Every word you spoke was like a dagger pushed up to the hilt into his broken heart, every second he saw you smile at the prospect of going out with the boy you wanted to be with - the boy that wasn’t him - a twist of the blade until he felt like he couldn’t breathe anymore. His heart, that had beaten so wildly just moments before when he had held you in his arms, could have stopped beating right there and then; Barnaby doubted it would have felt much different to the consuming emptiness he felt at this very moment.

You were rambling on and on about where you wanted to take your date and what you would wear but Barnaby wasn’t listening. He didn’t even know who you were talking about; all he knew was that it wasn’t him and that thought was louder in his head than your words could ever be.

“What do you think of that?”

Barnaby realised you had come to the end of your explanations and expected an opinion from him. He forced himself to smile apologetically at you, when all he wanted to do was scream.

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that,” he croaked out.

Your brow creased. “Are you okay? You’re so pale all of a sudden.”

“I’m good,” Barnaby answered with a hoarse voice. He cleared his throat and started again. “I’m good, I just caught a cold, I think. I should go see Madam Pomfrey later.”

You made a sceptical sound and raised one eyebrow. “If you say so. So what do you think? Is Madam Puddyfoot’s Tea Shop a good idea or not?”

Barnaby had never heard of this tea shop before, but he’d go to Knockturn Alley for a date if it only was with you. “It doesn’t matter where you take him. He’s lucky he gets to go with someone like you in the first place.”

“That’s sweet of you to say.”

“I’m just happy you’re happy,” Barnaby said and even meant it, in a way. He just wished the source of your happiness was him and not somebody else.

You hugged him once again and he was glad that you couldn’t see the pained expression crossing his features for a moment. “You’re the best, Barney. I’m so glad to have you in my life.”

You let go and turned towards the table laden with books Barnaby had so carefully set up. “Shall we?”

He sat down with you and watched as you started taking out your notes on objects cursed with minor jinxes. Your eyes were sparkling even more than usual and even now, you were so beautiful to Barnaby it hurt.

With a sigh, he concentrated on what you had to say for a change. His time spent daydreaming about you was over for good now, so he might as well do what the two of you were here for and study.

No, Barnaby Lee wasn’t the smartest kid around.

But even he knew that when it came to you, he had missed too many chances.

#hphm #hogwarts mystery #harry potter hogwarts mystery #barnaby lee #anon ask #fun fact #this is exactly what happened in game for my mc lizzie #went to the celestial ball with barnaby #and ditched him afterwards #whoops #and for talbott of all people #because yknow #that old let us date the quidditch kids discussion #but we're not getting into that now

[the-bjd-community-confess]

Many Divaz/Z3st confos

Mod: Not all the ones in the inbox, but a batch of them to peruse at your leisure.

1. Z3st got told by a mod on the BJD Discord to stop with his drama-mongering. He argued with the mod. In b4 he whines here about the BJD Discord.

~Anonymous

2. @A certain someone: DOA mods warning you to stop making drama or else ban is not an attack on you. BJD Discord mod warning you to stop making drama or ban is not an attack on you. They're just doing their jobs. To stop finding yourself in situations where you feel attacked, don't make drama. Seriously it's getting super tiresome seeing your crap all over the place esp since you're acting like someone shot your dog or smth. You're doing this to yourself and blaming others for your own actions.

~Anonymous

3. My friend got messaged on FB by Z3st because they posted in support of Divaz. Z3st called them names and tried to prove his "innocence". Apparently my friend wasn't the only person Z3st did this to, I wouldn't be surprised if he did it to everyone who commented in support of Divaz. Z3st is crying about being the victim but all I see is him being the aggressor. Who the fuck messages people they don't know to harass them like that?

~Anonymous 

4.@al3xcessive... you can't blame someone for "doxxing" you when you put your information out there first. Also, that's not what "doxxing" is, they've literally only showed your name AFTER YOU SHOWED IT YOURSELF PUBLICLY. All of your other information was hidden. I searched for your name on FB and wouldn't have ever found you if you hadn't gone and shown yourself by spamming comments on the post.

~Anonymous

5.lol al3xcess claiming he'd been "harassed" when he DMs random people to call them bootlickers and they tell him to fuck off xD

~Anonymous

6.If the customer is batshit terrible to work with, you refund them and ban them. Don’t feed trolls and all. Seems simple? But Div4s just gonna dox somebody like that?  Even their most hardcore fans ought to be sayin “hol up” instead of cheering.

~Anonymous

7.Lol @ Z3st calling Divaz "insidiously hostile" when he himself is this way and he even admitted it: "i had been nothing but nice, and ABSURDLY patient, and understanding and looking back now the gushing tone in which i took makes me sick" - Looking at HIS OWN receipts, his "absurdly nice" is just normal decency. It really says a lot about him that he considers it absurd and that it makes him sick. Divas aren't the ones being insidious, Z3st, you admitted you were deceptive from the getgo.

~Anonymous

8.I'm done with r_s who defend BJDivaz on DoA. I had to wait MONTHS for any sign of life from them, they NEVER answer their emails, and they've mishandled ALL of my orders. They won't be an adult about this! If you're ordering from them, you're pretty much supporting them. Stop.

~Anonymous

9.Neutral to Divaz but seeing them did a call out to a troublesome customer is a bit uncomfortable. I believe they should have kept the person's name as anon, never mention their irl or username. I understand that they are upset that their business reputation is damaged by the customer's words but still a business shouldn't blast their customer's personal info on public platform. A business should be a business. Personal feelings should be handled off the business page.

Again I fully understand Divaz is human too and they can feel upset by exaggerated rumours but a business shouldn't be so sensitive to any provocation. I'm sure other dealers also get a lot of negative comments but we seldom hear them talk about it publicly. Really not my place to say, I think Divaz should try to keep personal emotions off their business page. Occasional bad press will naturally go away on its own if they can maintain good and satisfied customers on a long run. I feel like them fighting back against angry (ex) customers and seeking comfort from others is not the best move as a business. It is fine that they express their frustration to their family and friends but definitely not on a public business page. It just feels unprofessional. It's my 2 cents.

Sorry Divaz, I know you don't want to hear this but please do try to keep personal feelings aside when running a business. It will really help you on a long run. Haters will only use this against you because they know you will react to their provocation. This will never end and only damge your reputation further. Hope for the best.

~Anonymous

10. Cheeesus, that long Divaz post on that DoA user is too much. With all the precise time-stamps details and quotations, it's like a lawyer presenting a courtcase like "the evidence here shows that at 'hour;minute' you said this XXX. Is it true?" And we, the witnesses/audience, are all called to participate in the judgment. lol

~Anonymous 

11. ne1 else get msged by Z3st on fb cuz he wants to bitch u out for posting on divaz? 

~Anonymous

12. Divaz doxxes and stalks people, talks shit about customers on their FB, forgets to place orders, hands out tons of excuses for why they can't reply... among other things. Why the fuck are you all still dealing with them? Cl0ver singing, Alice's and a bunch of other companies are ten times better. Stop👏 validating👏 shitty 👏companies 👏

~Anonymous

13.There are certain people who always jump to the defense of BjDivaz and get mad when other people have legitimate issues with them. Get a life. Some of us have real problems and bad experiences ordering from them.

~Anonymous

14. I know everyone has a different situation and state their opinion with what they have already experienced, but I'm not gonna lie that I felt bad when I read someone saying that bjdivaz long layaways aren't even neccesary and they should just remove it. While I do agree bjdivaz could improve in how they manage some stuff, at the same time they are the only ones that let me "join" the hobby and don't feel bad because I can't pay in full or put down big payments as other hobbyists. I know it's not neccesary and I can save, but from someone who comes from a place of poverty I already feel guilty enough spending in a hobby and having big amounts of money always end up in paying emergencies and starting from 0 again. So these "really long and unnecessary layaways" give me the opportunity to not feel as guilty and enjoy something like the rest without spending too much every month to the point that it could affect my daily life.

~Anonymous

15. Z3st/Alex is legitimately evil for what he's doing, trying to put a company out of business that, per the emails that he himself posted, has never been anything but helpful to him (and many others). I'd bet he's the main source of all the BJDivaz hate going on here, and the miserable people around here were more than happy to grab their pitchforks and join his mob. Stop it.

~Anonymous

#BJD #ABJD #BJD Confessions #TrueBJDConfessions #BJD Dealers #BJD Groups

[angelicmichael]

Oohh, could you please write the nonsexual prompt sharing a dessert for Outpost Michael and reader? Who wouldn't want to share a dessert with him? Thank you so much. You really are an angel 😇

A/N: anon you are too fucking sweet omg 🥺💖 I hope I didnt dissapoint with this, I'm sorry it's so late and unnecessarily long!! Lmfao. The dessert eating is at the end if anyone wants to just skip to that part hehe. I wanted to write some mutual pining so.. that's why this fic is so fucking long lol

Warnings: eating, food, lil bit of sexual tension, very brief mentions of Millory and also Gallant x Michael 👉🏻👈🏻

Living in Outpost three was beyond miserable. Constantly being treated as a second class citizen, as a gray, was definetly doing its number on you.. Every day that you continued to stay alive in this hellhole you swore you slowly descended further and further into madness. Eating gelatin cubes.. being around the same exact people, day in and day out.. with nothing else to do but to clean, with no end in sight was only a recipe for disaster.

And disaster seemed to come with a name; Langdon.

You didnt believe him when he announced that he was going to pick a select few to take with him to the sanctuary; you knew that was fucking bullshit.. but you had to admit - it was amusing watching the other outpost residents finally get a spark of excitament in their eyes. A reason to be alive.

You watched him take interest in mainly Gallant and Mallory; and that's when you felt something.. distant yet familar. Yearning; attraction, and maybe even jealousy.

It reminded and made you nostalgic of old emotions that you used to feel regularly; which now only visited you vaguely whenever you caught Michael stare for a second too long at either of them.. but it wasnt your job to monitor the relationships that were allegedly occurring.

You kept your head down until you begrudgingly got an interview; honestly surprised at first that Langdon seemed to be giving you a shot at salvation at all.

You were even more surprised at how the actual interview seemed to unfold; how disgustingly touch starved you were and the way in which you reacted to him. You were praying that Langdon didnt notice how your entire body was littered with goosebumps the second he touched you - a harmless gesture with his hand lightly touching your back when he walked by. Or the pure exhilaration you felt when he brushed a tear away from your cheek.. It was honestly embarrassing.

Even more embarrassing was how much you craved to see Langdon again as soon as you left the first interview.

The days following the first initial interview were torturous for you. Your days and even nights became infested with thoughts of Langdon; his blonde locks and light blue eyes even started to follow you and become familar in dreams..

You couldnt stop thinking about him.

You knew it was stupid to crave romance; it was utterly irrational. For one, if Venable were to even catch you looking at Langdon for a couple seconds too long - you knew she would want your head on a stick. That's not even to mention how jealous Gallant and the other residents would possibly be, if anything were to happen.

These thoughts were not realistic though  because you knew Langdon never viewed you like that. He treated you just as he did anyone else.. maybe even worse. He always kept his words short with you and rarely made eye contact most days.

For those reasons; you wrote off your newfound romantic thoughts about Langdon as nothing more but dumb daydreams. Just something to keep you occupied in the day while you tried to make the outpost look spotless. You figured it was a result of being beyond bored; your mind trying to find something to make life interesting once more. Anything. 

That was.. until Langdon invited you for another interview. One interview quickly turned into another.. and another.. and another until seeing Langdon privately was nearly the new normal.

The more you two continued to meet; the more your feelings for him only grew but you still chose to conceal them - well, to the best of your abilities anyway.. there was only much you could hide. However; if you didnt know Langdon prematurely, you wouldve thought he was a idiot or just purely naive for not picking up on the obvious crush you had.

It had been a couple nights now since you had last seen him.. And yet here you were; having another sleepless night that consisted of thinking of dumbass Langdon.

You stayed awake sleepless in your bed. Or.. the bed that was meant to be yours anyway. Nothing like felt home or like it was truly yours at Outpost Three though. You stared at the ceiling hopelessly; wishing you would be so lucky to feel a wave of drowsiness that could hit you and carry you off to your dreams.

You immeadietly sat up and nearly jolted out of bed when you heard three loud knocks rattle your door. The sound was distinct but haunting.. your immediate thought was Venable.. you could only help but to think what the fuck you had recently done to piss her off.

You swiftly walked through the nearly pitch black room and opened the door absentmindedly; trying to not let your paranoid thoughts control your actions and let you hesitate.. just in case it happened to be Langdon.

You would be lying if you were to say that you werent dissapointed when you found no one there; only a letter lay folded neatly on the floor.. directly in front of you.

Snatching it and opening it within the safety of your room; you had to hold back laughter when it was from Langdon - another invitation to go see him.. but it was marked urgent.

You nearly dropped the letter on the floor immeadietly; it wasnt as if you had anything else to do - you already knew you werent going to be able to sleep tonight anyway. You immeadietly took off, albeit as quietly as possible, off to Langdons office. Trying to keep your thoughts of what the hell he wanted to see you so badly for, at bay.

When you reached his room, you didnt bother knocking. You slipped right inside - knowing that knocking would only possibly wake Venable up or alert other residents of your whereabouts. Shutting the door behind you, you slowly approached him.

He sat at his desk; quickly turning around to face you as you entered. His light, ocean colored eyes were wide in what you could only guess was surprise that you came so soon. His mouth was slightly curved into a subtle smile.

"Hi". You uttered with a airy, soft laugh.

You first stood, knowing he would most likely want you to take a seat but you would rather wait for instructions than to just.. assume. You knew Michael had little to no tolerance but surely enough, he nodded at the seat that was directly across from his at the desk.

"Sit". Michael instructed, his gaze followed you as you steadfastly did as you were told.

You realized how carefully Michael was studying you as you walked over and took your seat.. and maybe it was because of the absolutely horrible lighting but you could swear you could almost see blood rushing to his cheeks..

Was he.. blushing??

You sat, completely puzzled as you watched Michael suddenly act flustered.. His motions changing from smooth and calculated to nearly awkward.. and.. just rather odd in a instant. He looked as if he wanted to say something but no words were spoken, that is - until you made the first move.

"Is something.. wrong"? You asked, trying your hardest to bite back laughter.

Seeing Langdon act so.. not like himself was basically pure comedy to you.  Although you would never admit that outloud of course.

He now looked uncomfortable; licking his lips and clasping his hands together at the table before speaking.

"(Y/n), I have to talk to you about something". Michael admitted.

His expression changed from looking rather nervous to serious again; his mouth in a straight line and the muscles in his face relaxed.

You were quite literally sitting on the edge of your seat, your stomach started to do somersaults as you desperately tried to rationally think of what he wanted to say..

"Yeah, of course. What's wrong"? You prompted, your voice coming across as unsteady.

You tried your hardest to not let your voice shake as you spoke, although you were more than certain it showcased exactly how you felt.

Langdon unfolded his hands; appearing to study his rings momentarily before his blue eyes pierced yours - looking as if they were staring right past you.. Not necessarily at you at all.

"Look; theres nothing wrong. You just need to know that theres no need to be nervous around me anymore". Langdon stated matter of factly.

He maintained eye contact with you; diligently waiting for a response as you actually tried to comprehend what he was saying.. Was he implying that you were going to the sanctuary?? Or.. possibly even something else?? Something more?

Your confusion must've been apparent on your face because before you could say anything, Langdon cut in.

"That's not why I asked you to be here with me tonight though. I wanted to.. reward you". He said.

You felt as if your heart had skipped a beat; nearly feeling woozy as your cheeks heated up. A reward?? Saying you felt speechless was a incredible understatement.

"A reward"?? You echoed your thoughts aloud.

Your words came out slow and strained with pure anticipation for what was to perhaps happen. You thought for a split second this had to be some kind of sick joke, or some kind of sick manipulation game. You wouldnt really be surprised; you overheard from the others he was famous for pulling that kind of shit.

"Yes, For giving me company. Close your eyes". Michael answered.

You immeadietly, and dumbly followed orders. However; as soon as you closed your eyes you felt fear pierce your heart. The uncertainty and possibilities of what could happen was jarring - but you had to admit it was also thrilling.

The past few months had been so fucking predictable and boring, a bit of excitement was well over due and actually.. probably healthy. Even if it was fucking terrifying.

You could hear him moving, and then something being placed on his desk in front of you. You first felt your eyebrows furrow as you opened your eyes unwillingly. Pure surprise forcing you to do so and to disobey Langdon.. oh fuck.

You opened your mouth to utter an apology but.. your gaze first caught onto the object in front of you.. leaving you speechless and with your mouth agape.

You marveled at the small slice of cheesecake was that put in front of you.. It looked entirely to good to be true; this had to be a dream.. or maybe a nightmare??

This last time you had eaten anything with any kind of remote flavour had been eons ago. Those memories served you well and made your horrifically boring days a little less painful.

You continued to blankly stare at it; not daring to move, or breathe but.. to just enjoy the view. You were half expecting for this to be some of torture again; for him to rip it away from you but a part of you reassured you that.. this was different. This was him trying, and being genuine.

You looked up to meet Langdons eyes as they intently studied you. A faint smile gracing the corner of his lips. A beautiful sight you rarely got the priviledge of admiring.

"Have some". Michael said, nodding down in direction of the dessert. "I thought you would appreciate the gesture. I cant imagine the shit Venable gives you is enjoyable". Michael sneered with a hint of laughter.

You couldnt help but to let out a giggle as well, looking down once more and noticing that the plate was also embellished with two forks.

"Thank you, Michael. You should have some too though, I dont want to be selfish-" You started, unfolding your hands from your lap and beginning to push the plate towards him.

He quickly stood up and walked up to you, stopping until he was beside you. He grabbed your wrist, tight enough to make you wince but not enough to cause any actual pain - making eye contact again.

"No.. I want to watch you have the first bite". Langdon said.

In a split second, the chair that was once behind his desk materialized right next to you, directly behind him. He sat down, watching you intently as you started to feel stupidly nervous again.

Your hands trembled a bit as you reached to grab the fork, swiftly taking a piece and then  quickly consuming it. You figured the faster you took the first bite - the less nervous you would be.. but his gaze continued to linger on you; intensely watching.

The pleasure you were momentarily wrapped in was insurmountable to anything you had previously felt in months. You had to ground yourself in order to not let a moan escape your mouth.. The rich flavor tasting so unreal; almost too good to be true.

To be completely honest, you forgot that Langdon was there at all until you noticed him grab a fork as well. Also taking a bite and continuing to watch you - clearly amused with your reaction.

You two continued to eat in silence; meanwhile you momentarily began to get lost in your own thoughts yet again. You knew he didnt have to do this; he very well could've just.. had the dessert with someone else, like Mallory, or even enjoyed it by himself, but he purposefully chose you...

Your cheeks grew hot at the thought of how he seemed to subtly state that he returned your affection. You knew there was no way that he didnt know that you harbored feelings for him; the way in which you acted flustered in his prescience had to be a dead give away.

An hour or so later you walked back to your room; the night slowly cutting into the early hours of the morning but you really couldnt care less. You really didnt care about anything, even if Venable found you. The last thought you had before you took a very shortlived nap, was how much of a sneaky bastard Langdon truly was.

Taglist: @mina672 @michaellangdonstanaccount @langdonsexual @jimmason @blakewaterxx @dark-mei-rose @9layerdevilfoodcake @prophecy-is-inevitable @matildaofoz @beautyiswithinchaos @frenchlangdon @beyond-repentance

#michael x reader #michael langdon x reader #michael langdon fanfic #michael langdon fanfiction #ahs fanfiction #asks #anon #my fic #lemme know if yall wanna be on the taglist #i hope this is good LMAO i feel like the beginning is wonky but.. idk. i hope michael isnt ooc 😬 #this has so much unnecessary detail but im not even sorry djdjd #reader is also a simp for a michael lmfao #also i chose cheesecake for the dessert cause im a hoe for cheesecake and thats the first dessert i thought of 😭

[smallheathgangsters]

Gunshot | T.S.

A/N: I FINALLY finished up my first request and it turned out waaaay too long lol. I hope this won’t be happening with every request I work on. Again, please consider the fact that English is NOT my first language, but I appreciate any feedback you guys give me! <3

Request: “Would you do 18. “How could I not worry about you” and 22. “We are not just friends and you know it too.” With Tommy Shelby and a reader who’s Ada’s best friend?” by Anon

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x Reader

Word Count: 2760

Type: Fluff, some hurt/comfort

Summary: Tommy and Y/N spend a night together, but never speak about it again. That changes, when Tommy’s business plans have a dangerous impact on the lives of people he loves.

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Ada and you had been best friends since she found you hiding under a bridge, crying about a boy at the age of fourteen. She was the one to cheer you up, bring you back to her home and make you a cup of tea. She tried her best to make you laugh and gave you countless hugs to make you feel loved and cared about. That was also the moment you realised you would never want to let her go.

Years passed and Ada had her son, Karl and lost her husband, Freddie. And you stayed by her side though all of it. The bond you two had was stronger than any relationship either of you ever had. Even when Ada started getting more and more involved in the Peaky business, you supported her every step of the way. That was also the reason why her family liked you very much.

You started working as a teacher in Small Heath, so whenever you had finished up your work at school after the kids had left, you strolled over to the Shelby company to pick up Ada and walk home with her, while you talked about your day. She usually wasn’t quite ready to leave when you arrived, but you didn’t mind. There was always somebody around to hang out with and have a laugh. While you got along with all the boys, you especially enjoyed Tommy’s company. He would often invite you into his office for a drink, asking you about your day and if you still hadn’t considered working with them for the Shelby Company Limited. But you loved your job as a teacher too much to give it up. You adored the kids you taught, and they liked you back just as much, even the boys.

“In what world does being a secretary sound more fun than being a teacher?” You laughed, shaking your head.

“I’m sure you’d be paid more than double of what you earn now.” Tommy replied while shoving a cigarette between his lips and lighting a match. It made a hissing sound when it caught fire.

You leaned against the armrest of the chair opposite Tommy’s desk. “You know I don’t care about money. I care about happiness.”

Tommy leaned back into his chair, exhaling the smoke of his cigarette slowly and letting his arm hang loosely from the side of his chair. “Maybe I should start caring about that a little bit more myself.” He sighed.

“You should’ve been doing that since after coming back from the war, Tommy. You and your brothers deserve it. You all deserve all the happiness on earth.”

Tommy locked his eyes with yours. His intense gaze made your heart skip a beat.

“I agree.” Tommy said with a little smile dancing at the corners of his mouth. “You really wouldn’t fit into this working environment.”

You pushed yourself off the armrest and folded your arms. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Tommy flicked the ashes off his smoke. “That was a compliment, Y/N. I think the kids you teach are very lucky to have you.”

Your body relaxed when he finished his sentence. “Thank you.”

Suddenly you heard a knock at Tommy’s office’s door. That had to be Ada. Only a second after, the door was being opened and Ada popped her head into the room. “Ready?”

You twirled around, facing your best friend and nodded happily. Then you turned back to Tommy, raised your glass and finished the whiskey you had been holding in your hand for the last ten minutes. “Thank you for the drink, Tommy. See you tomorrow.”

You put down the glass and skipped over to your best friend, putting your arm around her. “Let’s get out of here!”

 ***

 The next day you pushed through the entrance of the Shelby Company Limited, planning on picking up Ada, like every other day. “Hey boys!”

John looked up from his books and grinned at you. “Hey Y/N.”

You walked over to him, peeking over his shoulders. “Is Ada still here?” You asked.

“No.” John answered, shaking his head. “She finished early today and went home to catch up some sleep. She hoped you didn’t mind.”

You chuckled. Of course, you didn’t. You knew how hard she worked and with having more responsibility came longer hours at the shop and less hours of sleep. “Not at all.”

“I’m sure she’ll be waiting for you again tomorrow evening.”

“No worries, John.” You told him. “I guess I’ll better get going before it gets too late.”

John waved you goodbye and just as you turned towards the exit, you heard a deep voice clear its throat. “How about a drink in my office?”

You glanced over your shoulder just to spot Tommy leaning against the door frame of his office, cigarette between his fingers.

You hesitated a moment. You had planned on getting home early to get started with the housekeeping for the week because the task was already way overdue. But you just couldn’t say no the handsome Shelby man.

Therefore, you shrugged and smiled at him, letting your coat glide off your shoulders. “Sure, why not.”

You followed Tommy into his office and took a seat in one of the two chairs in front of his table. He usually chose to sit in his seat behind the desk but today, he surprisingly sat down into the one next to you. Then he grabbed two glasses, placed them in front of you and filled them both with the perfect amount of whiskey.

“Thank you.” You said and took one of the glasses into your hands, staring down at the dark liquid.

You could hear him lighting up a cigarette, taking a long drag and letting out a relaxed sigh. “Has anyone ever told you that your presence is pleasantly soothing?”

You let out a weak laugh. “Soothing? Ada usually calls me loud and overexcited, but I could really get used to your compliments instead of hers.”

Your comment made Tommy chuckle. “Maybe with her you are. But–“

“Hold up!” You interrupted him, sitting up in your chair and giving him a playful slap on the arm. “Are you agreeing with Ada and also calling me loud and annoying?”

He let out another chuckle. “I never said you were annoying. But I do say that you are very different around me than you are around her.”

“I am?”

He nodded. “In a good way. I really enjoy your company.”

You felt yourself blush. Tommy had always been exceptionally nice to you. Ada frequently made comments about how Tommy got weak around you, but you’d changed the subject every time she brought it up.

“I really enjoy your company too.” You replied, giving him a shy smile.

At that point you could already feel this evening taking a turn you never expected. After about three glasses of the dark liquor one thing led to the another and you ended up climbing on top of Tommy, straddling him in the chair he had been sitting in and connecting your lips with his. They were soft and warm and tasted of his cigarettes. Even though you knew this was a mistake, nothing was stopping you in that moment and you could tell that nothing was holding Tommy back either. All you wanted at that point was to savour this moment with him, knowing that this would probably be the first and last time your bodies would be this close to each other.

 ***

 After that night, Tommy and you never spoke about what had happened that night. You weren’t sure if it was because he wanted to forget about it or if he just wasn’t that big of a deal for him. Either way, the next few evenings he didn’t invite you into his office and you waited for Ada while chatting to either John or Arthur.

One Sunday afternoon you met up with Ada to go to town and shop for a new dress. You had saved up some money and wanted to treat yourself to something nice. Of course, Ada wouldn’t want to miss out on a shopping trip.

“Karl’s been driving me up the walls lately!” She whined while you two were strolling from one store to another. “Has he been any different in class?”

Ada had been lucky, and Karl ended up having you as his teacher. “Not that I noticed.”

She sighed. “I hope it’s a phase that he gets over quickly. I can’t handle him not doing anything I tell him and constantly having to look out for him.”

“If you ever need a break, you can always bring him over to my house.” You offered with a kind smile. She returned your smile with an even bigger one. “Thank you, Y/N. You really are the best!”

You came to a stop in front of a shop that displayed plain but elegant dresses in its window. Your eyes fell on a dark purple one. You imagined yourself wearing it but immediately felt uneasy. All you’ve ever wished for the last couple of months was Tommy to take you on a date and wearing a beautiful dress to impress him. But with him keeping his distance since that one night, you knew your wish would never come true and suddenly shopping for dresses felt like a waste of time.

“Ada?”

“Hm?”

You took a deep breath and said. “I never really told you about something that happened between me and Tommy …”

You told her about that night you wanted to pick her up, but she wasn’t at work, how Tommy invited you to keep him company and what happened after that. Ada was very excited for you but understood, that you felt uncomfortable about the situation you were in now. She was also not very happy about her brother avoiding you ever since.

“Typical Tommy!” She hissed. “I’m sorry you have to feel that way.”

“It’s not your fault.” You said. “And maybe I should have realised that kissing him wasn’t a good idea. I’ve known Tommy for quite some time now.”

Ada shook her head. “That’s exactly the reason he should treat you differently. He’s known you for so long, you’ve been friends for years and–“

Ada was suddenly interrupted by a loud bang. A gunshot. Two gunshots. At first, you didn’t know where they came from and where they were aimed at but when all of a sudden you heard Ada scream at the top of her lungs and a sharp pain spread in the area of your shoulder, you knew you’d been the target.

Your knees got weak and your body collapsed to the ground. The last thing you saw was Ada leaning over you and holding your hand before your eyelids got too heavy to stay open.

 ***

 The smell of cigarettes was lingering in the air when you woke up. You opened your eyes quickly, trying to push yourself up from the bed you were lying on but you instantly got shoved back into your previous position.

“Careful, Y/N.”

Ada’s voice was soft. She was looking down at you soothingly. “But I’m glad you’re awake.”

“Me too.” You mumbled, still a little bit confused about what had happened and where you were.

Ada seemed to have read your mind. “Don’t worry. We’re at Tommy’s.”

You relaxed, nodding. “Is my shoulder okay?”

“According to the circumstances.” She said with a chuckle. “I mean, you were shot. But you’ll be fine.”

“Thank you for bringing me here and taking care of me.” You told her.

“Oh, don’t thank me.” Ada said. “Tommy was the one who carried you all the way here and took care of your wound.”

You raised your eyebrows. “He did?”

Ada nodded. “He really cares about you, you know. He may have seemed cold the last few days, but I don’t think his feelings have changed.”

She grabbed your hand and gave it a squeeze. “I’d better go and tell him that you’re up.”

Then she turned around and left the room. You sighed and tilted your head downward slightly, trying to get a better look at the wound but only spotted the white bandage that had been wrapped around your entire shoulder and upper part of your chest.

“There’s nothing to see there.” You heard Tommy’s voice. You looked up and saw him standing in the doorframe.

“May I come in?” He asked carefully. You nodded. “Of course.”

He approached the bed you were lying in, pulled a chair next to it and sat down. “Y/N, I–“

He sighed and ran his hand over his face. He looked tired. “Y/N, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay–“ You tried to say but he interrupted you.

“No, it’s not. And it’s my fault.” He said, pulling up his chair even closer to the edge of the bed. “I should have known they were up to something and I should have known that they were going to it the ugly way.”

You hated how Tommy was blaming himself. Yes, maybe he could have known. Maybe he could have prevented it. But in the end, you knew he would never do something to harm you on purpose. And by bringing you home to his house and patching you up, he had shown he cared and that was all that mattered to you.

“Tommy, I’m fine.” You said, giving him an encouraging smile. “We’re all still alive and I don’t want you beating yourself up because of this. Knowing that you worried about me is all I care about.”

Tommy gave you a shocked look. “How could I not worry about you?”

You shrugged, blushing a little bit.

“You’re not just Ada’s friend but also mine and I care about you just as much as she does.” He stated.

That sentence made you gulp. It was sweet but had a bitter aftertaste. The pictures in your head from that specific evening were making it hard to think straight.

Right away, Tommy noticed that there was something bothering you. “What is it, Y/N?”

“I know you’ve been avoiding me the last few days after our … incident, if you want to call it that, but we are not just friends and you know it too.” You blurted out, not being able to hold back your words.

“Y/N–“ He started but you wouldn’t let him speak. “I’ve known you for quite some time now and I know you have a hard time admitting your feelings, especially to yourself. But I want you to know that you’ve made me feel very uncomfortable by going out of my way and not talking to me about what happened.”

You could feel tears forming at the corners of your eyes and that made you feel even more stupid than you felt admitting your feelings to Tommy. You closed your eyes, trying to ignore the chaos of emotions that overcame you.

Suddenly you felt Tommy’s hand on your cheek. “Hey … Hey, Y/N. Don’t cry.”

You sniffled. “I– I’m not. I–“ You let out a desperate sigh. “I feel silly, Tommy.”

“Don’t feel silly, please.” Tommy whispered, leaning forward to you, locking his icy blue eyes with yours. “I should be the one feeling silly. I could have everything I ever wanted, but I’m just too proud to make a move.”

He caressed your cheek with his thumb and gave you a weak smile. “And you are right, Y/N. We aren’t just friends. I was scared we were moving too fast that evening. I wanted to buy you something nice to wear, go on a date and dance and drink all night.”

You brought your hand up to his on your cheek. “Tommy, we can still do all of that.”

“I know.” Tommy said. “And I can’t wait.”

Then he leaned in further, connecting his lips with yours. You melted in his touch, lifting your arm up to run through his hair. But before you could reach it, a horrible pain in your shoulder made you break the kiss, cursing silently.

Tommy chuckled. “I think we’ll save this for another time. You should be resting.”

You pouted, wanting him to stay. Tommy eventually gave in and got up from the chair and laid himself next to you on the bed so you could cuddle up to him.

“Thank you for staying.” You murmured into his chest.

“I’m staying as long as you want me to.” He said, pulling you just a little closer.

#peaky blinders #peaky blinder imagine #peaky blinders fanfic #peaky blinder x reader #thomas shelby #thomas shelby x reader #tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #tommy shelby imagine #john shelby #john shelby imagine #john shelby x reader #arthur shelby #arthur shelby x reader #michael gray #michael gray x reader #michael gray imagine #finn shelby #finn shelby x reader #finn shelby imagine #isaiah jesus #isaiah jesus x reader

[utterlyinevitable]

Their first kiss is so sweet! What is Odes friends reaction to the news? Naveen and Alans?

What was their first time like? Did she stay with Ethan in his bed?

Do they get the big house? Does she like to play for him? What was going through Odes mind when she went home after their first kiss? Was their next interaction awkward? What was their first official official date like?

Thanks for indulging me and answering my questions about these two! Let me know if its too much 😬

> ask me anything < 

I’m going to answer kinda out of order as I think about things lol 

So Odette gets into her apartment building and walks to their flat in kind of a haze, like she’s not quite sure anything after dinner actually happened. A part of her thinks she fell asleep at work and made up the whole evening anyway. She makes as little noise as possible padding through the apartment. None of her friends are in the common areas and she’s glad for that. She goes to her room and leans against the shut door with a small unbelievable sigh she didn’t know she was holding in. And then suddenly she shoots up to attention and fumbles trying to fist her phone out of her clutch. She calls Ethan - he’s still in the cab, it’s only been about 4 minutes since he dropped her off. “I am so sorry” she says when she hears his receiver pick up. Ethan couldn’t help but expel a chuckle, then says “I was worried for a second there”. 

They talk things through a bit that night. When they see one another at work two days later they are a bit.. quieter with one another? A few members on the DT and nursing staff on their floor notice a shift but don’t think anything further into it. It doesn’t last long and when people see Ethan driving her home like he usually does they assume it must’ve been the caseload getting to them. 

Their first date after the kiss and them talking things through is to the opera. Its an event she agreed to go with him weeks ago - before they were more than friends. Nothing seemed different except now she didn’t feel the need to make sure there was some space between them as she draped her arm through his. She didn’t need to stand straighter or be on the defensive - to prove that she belonged on his arm. She was here with her boyfriend enjoying one of their shared passions. 

Her friends are not surprised at all that they’re together. They really just make fun of her and comment about how long it’s taken Ethan and Ode to get together. Especially since the gang concocted a short-sighted plan at her birthday party to push the two in the right direction. 

Naveen isn’t surprised either. Ethan’s favorite topic of conversation is Odette. The two could not have a get together or lunch without him bringing up how she’s been handling the DT, cases, studying for boards, or something she’s done to upset or wow him. Naveen’s first comment is “So when’s the wedding?” which makes Ethan blush and turn right back around and leave the old Chief chuckling. 

Alan was the last to find out. Ethan kinda forget to tell his father he’s dating his best friend -- the woman who’s gotten under his skin one too many times. It wouldn’t be the first time Alan turned up unannounced at Ethan’s apartment when his son hadn’t answered his calls for a while. It also wouldn’t be the first time he found Ode and Ethan having dinner together one evening. After the three enjoyed their meal and E and O were clearing the table, Alan caught Ethan placing a kiss to Ode’s temple. Alan never brought it up to them, but he always knew they’d make a great match. 

Their first date after everyone finding out was on a trip to Providence. Alan invited them over for the day. They had a lovely family day and on the road home they stopped at the good Friendly’s for food, and a $5 film. The cinema across the street from Friendly’s was playing Singing In The Rain, and they figured why not. They’re here - what the hell!  

There first time was meticulously planned on Ode’s part, Ethan knew about her rule and figured there’d still be two months until they crossed that bridge. They’ve had a few sleepovers throughout their friendship/relationship with Ode taking the second bedroom. Only in the last few weeks has she started to like staying over more... and in bed with him. She psyched herself up for about two weeks, subtlety bringing candles and spare clothes and necessary toiletries. Upgrading the small amount of things she’d keep in a cupboard in the spare bathroom. So when they get home from dinner, while he’s making a nightcap, she says she’s going to get more comfortable. Ethan’s used to her immediately shedding her day attire for some yoga pants and tank now. But she comes out in a baby pink satin robe - a color she does not wear in all the years he’s known her - and he’s speechless. He raises a questioning brow. And all Ode does is give him a sultry smile. He follows her lead and tries very hard like a good boy not to get too over zealous and jump the gun. 

It’s all very slow and sensual - beautifully slow. They’ve kissed many times before but never like this. And every single touch felt like the first time - fingers grazing skin, eliciting goosebumps and tingles of electricity. Their hands always on the other, but no heady grabbing or bruises for tomorrow. Just swollen lips and love-filled eyes. 

It lasted well over an hour; neither sated nor wanting it to end. 

She’s conflicted when it does though, in regards of where to sleep. She knows it’s important to put space between them - doesn’t want to settle into comfort too early. But the way he’s holding her she doesn’t ever want to leave his embrace. All too soon she does. Because she has to pee and certainly needs a shower. 

“I’m going to shower.” 

“Okay.” He says as he gets up as well. He’s told her she could use his many times, there’s no point in arguing. 

Ten minutes after he hears the shower stop, he knocks on the bedroom door. 

“Yeah, come in!”

He stops in the doorway and just admires her as she braids her long hair. 

She turns and smiles at him. The admiration between them is ridiculously palpable. 

“Will you be staying in here?” he asks as he moves to close the distance.   

Her smile broadens. “Miss me already?” 

He takes her now idle hands, “Always. Since the moment you took a chance on me.” 

She leans up to delicately kiss the edge of his mouth. 

and the two make their way back to Ethan’s room. 

They get a house, eventually. The condo - which they also bought the adjoining apartment next door and combined into one big penthouse - is their main residency because it’s so close to work. They get a beach house outside the city with a grand piano and bi folding doors overlooking the water. All her most important scores are framed and they have music and books lined the walls floor to ceiling. She plays for as he reads from his chair close by, or she’ll treat him to one of his favorite pieces. Sometimes he’ll play the small bits he knows -- he’s forever trying to find the piece she played for him on her 30th birthday. Ode will never tell him. 

And in a weird way, in all his trials, he seems to be writing an ode to her.  

---

This was so long and I don’t care! Thank you so much, anon, please never stop 💞

#odette hall #open heart #ethan x mc #ethan ramsey #Anonymous #asked #gosh thank you for asking all these and letting me think out loud about these guys #i really really appreciate it and will answer whatever you'd like!

[skytimil]

A bad day | Monoma Neito

anon said: “hey can i have a scenario where monoma is mean to the reader when she's having a bad day and she cries? lots of fluff and a lil angst please :3″

Thank you so much for your ask. It’s been in my inbox for ages, I’m so sorry it took me so long to do this asdhfga. hope you’re doing great!!

Word count: 1.5k

Genre: fluff, a little bit angsty

Warnings: cursing, (tried to make it a bit steamy at the ends but lol I’m a f*cking joke)

“Y/n how many times did I tell you to make a copy of the files on my desk? For God’s sake can’t you see were full of work?!” You hear your boss yell while looking for some papers on her desk. You look at the monitor of your computer observing how much time you still needed to finish this document. “Cmon we don’t have all day!” She shouts again, looking you in the eye.

“Yes.” You murmur as you get up from your chair and make your way to her side the fastest you can, grabbing the files she mentioned, walking up to the printer after you had them all in your hands. Yeah it must be really fun being a boss, ordering people around all the time. Did she forget the tonnes of work she’d ask you to do before asking you to print some files? You could barely breathe with so many things you had to do today.

After you were done printing every file and making sure every one came out looking good, you bring them to your boss’s desk putting them next to her. “Here are the files.” You inform taking a step back.

“It was about time, Y/n, honestly.” She hastily takes them in her hands, without taking her eyes off the monitor, making wrinkles on the pages, because of the force she was using to grab them, after all the care you had with it.

Not saying another word, you make your way back to your desk as you take some deep breaths, to try and finish your load of work before work hours ends.

(...)

You open the door of your shared apartment with you boyfriend, Monoma Neito. Dating for two years already, you decided to move in together a couple months ago. Everything was new, sometimes some fights would break out because neither of you were yet used to living together, but in general, that was the best decision you both could have made, because your relationship had grown a lot from there.

You enter the house, closing the door right after being inside. Your shoes are taken off your feet, being place next to the rest on a small cabinet right next to the door. You put on your slippers and the fluffiness of them crawl from your feet to your brain, bringing a sensation of comfort to replace the tiredness that this day had bring upon you.

“Nei, I’m home.” You call, not very loud, thinking he would be in the living room, however, you had no response from him. “Neito, are you home?” You ask for him, making your way to your room, after you saw the empty living room.

When you open the door to your bedroom, you see him sit at the little desk you have in the corner, eyes fixed on the computer.

“Hey Nei, I’m home.” You greet with the little energy you had left from the tiring day you just lived.

Your boyfriend, however doesn’t answer you, so you make your way to him, furrowing your brows. “Nei, are you listening me?”

“Hi.” He greets in a monotone without even looking your way.

“How was your day? Let’s eat I’m so hungry.” You try to call him, without any effect. Monoma kept looking and writing something at the computer.

“I already ate, serve yourself.” He spits his words a little harshly, leaving you stunned looking at him.

“What’s wrong?” You ask, eyes locked on his figure. He was acting so strange. He usually brags a lot about his day, his work, and today he was simply giving you a cold shoulder without any reason.

“Didn’t you say you were hungry? Have you checked the time?” You look down at your wrist clock, noticing how late it was. You ended up having to work extra hours to be able to finish every task your grumpy boss told you to do.

“I know I’m late, but you have no idea how it was today... work never stopped coming through and my boss was in such a bad mood today, she asked me to do all kinds of stuff when I was so busy already and-“

“Doesn’t she pay you to do your work? Why are you complaining?” He shots you an annoyed look and you lost track of your words. Did he really say that?

“What..” you whisper to yourself, really confused with his weird behavior. “What the hell are you saying to me?”

“Listen I’m not in the mood today, can you go eat or something and leave me alone?” He asks turning his eyes again to the computer in front of him, completely neglecting your figure right next to him.

His behavior on top of the entirety of this day made you explode and do something you never ever thought of doing. Your hand flew to connect in full force with his cheek, making his head turn. Tears prick your eyes as you fight the urge to run right that instant.

“The only thing that made me endure this fucking shitty day was the thought of having you home waiting for me at the end of it all. But then..” you make a little pause so the knot in your throat would easy a bit and let you talk without showing any weakness in your voice. “But then I get home ready to forget it all and there you are, ignoring me and treating me like pure t-trash.” You let out a little hiccup, not letting any other word out.

Monoma had yet to move. He was petrified, his cheek completely burning from your slap. He felt like a true idiot. Of all the people he could treat bad today, it had to be you. He cares so much about you, and yet here he is, attacking the only person who puts up with his personality. He’s usually very calm, but today he had to deal with some complicated people at work too, but that was not an excuse at all. You had it bad as well, probably even worse, and yet here you were, eager to see him and talk to him and spent the rest of your awful day with someone you cared about.

When he hears your hiccups, his chest instantly becomes really heavy and his stomach flips around due to the amount on guilt he feels. He was a dumbass and he had no idea how to make it right. None of your fights were this severe, but due to pure idiocy by his part, he hurt you really badly when the only think you were looking for was simply a little bit of comfort to add at your day.

Monoma slowly raises its head to find you with tears in your eyes. After you realize the fragile state you are exposing to him, you quickly wipe the tears from your face and turn away, striding to the empty kitchen. Taking a deep breath, you put a kettle on to boil water so you can make some tea, in an attempt to calm down this day.

You hear slow steps come to you, but you ignore them, knowing perfectly well that they belong to your boyfriend. You take a mug from the washed dishes, waiting for the water to boil.

You feel a pair of arms around your waist, and you hear a whisper come out of his lips. "I’m sorry. I was really stupid to you...” his voice comes out in a genuine tone, which instead of making you even more irritated, brings tears to your eyes again. “I should never have said those things.”

“Well, you did.” You attack, not moving in his embrace.

“I know it’s hard for you, I know how much you like your job, but how hard your boss makes it for you.” He continues, hiding his face on your neck, leaving gentle kisses in the area. “Let me make it up to you.” He gently turns you to face him, gently taking the mug out of your hands and placing it lightly in the counter.

Your eyes never leave his face, as you study him as a work of art. His bangs covering part of his eyes, which showed a tired look. He looked now at you, a gentle smile adorning his features. Monoma places his hand on your cheek, gently caressing it, closing the space between both of you, placing his lips on yours. It was a suave kiss, one that made you be sure he meant every word of apology he said to you.

As the kiss intensifies, you take your hands to his hair, closing now the space between your bodies, wanting to be the closest you could be to him. His hands are now on your waist, as one of them slides down to your butt, squeezing it. “Neito...” you warn, in a whisper.

He looks at you with his smug expression that was so familiar to you. “Tell me you don’t like it.” He provokes you, taking your lips in his once again.

And like that, lost in his touch, in his scent, in his words, your awfull turns a little better.

#monoma x reader #mha scenarios #mha imagines #bnha scenarios #bnha oneshots #monoma neito reader #mha neito #bnha neito #monoma neito #monoma neito one shot #monoma neito x reader #mha fanfiction #bnha #mha

[hotchley]

heyy sumayyah! firstly: i'm so sorry you got hate asks >:( some people really can't be nice... that sucks. i'm back with my hc to (maybe, hopefully) distract you/cheer you up!! just saying, it's LONG and it's kind of angsty in the beginning lmao sorry oops, but it gets a little better towards the end!! i promise!!

tw mentions of (bad) eating habits, very briefly implied abuse/domestic violence and alcoholism, brief mention of almost-fainting!!

so my own horrible eating habits got me thinking of Hotch who already doesn’t eat that much because of how he was raised (on his father’s bad days, his mother wouldn’t even be able to get up to make food and his father would be batshit drunk anyway, so no one made food and there’s nothing at home, and Hotch is too young and doesn’t know how to cook for himself, and that just carried its way into adulthood even after he learnt to cook (for Sean, because Sean is a growing boy and still has to eat and he would do anything to make sure Sean grows up happy) and even after he gets together with Haley, who always has to check in on him to make sure he's eating properly)

like, man would throw himself into his work, sometimes not on purpose but because he just was so intent on finishing just one more document, and time just slipped by and when he looks up again it’s 8pm, the bullpen’s almost empty, and then he realises that he actually hasn’t ate anything since he had his morning coffee. and after especially bad cases (Vincent Perrotta, Carl Buford, Tobias Hankel, that case on the pig farm, Foyet, etc.) he just, avoids food on purpose, distracting himself by finishing all the paperwork he has, even if they’re not urgent, sometimes even completing the team’s paperwork (as much as he can) just because he feels like he’s failed them. the team doesn't deserve to be bogged down by all these bureaucratic issues but he does, because what good is his role as their unit chief if he can’t even shield them from the evil out there, if he has to send his team into the abyss every single time and every time someone else gets more injured/fractured, and the least he could do is to help out the team with what he’s best with, right? all those behind-the-scenes, messy, cutthroat politics, because it’s okay if he takes the brunt of the scrutiny of the brass and if he could he would not even let the team relive what they’ve been through because they don’t deserve that, they don’t deserve having to recount their traumatic experience in a bloody report that will eventually just be filed and chucked aside but will leave emotional and mental scars on his agents that will never be erased.

or sometimes he’s just stressed out and anxious and food just really doesn’t go well with his stomach, and he opts to skip meals entirely - he drinks coffee only because he still needs to keep awake, to make sure he’s paying full attention on all these cases and victims and his team who deserve his 120%, and because his stomach’s been conditioned to accept coffee no matter what (over 10 years of being in the BAU after over another 5? years as a prosecutor, where he drank coffee like his life depended on it). and sure, he’s lost weight, his ribs slightly showing when he raises his hands to reach for things/take off his sweaters, sure he’s looked a little more gaunt and tired as the years go by, sure he’s had some almost fainting spells in his office after a long day without food, where his vision just blacks out for 5 seconds after he stands up and he has to clutch onto the edge of his desk to stabilize himself, but it's okay to him, because he must be the strong, stoic, reliable leader for his team and he can’t faint in his office, not when the blinds are open and the team can look in and when he knows that Derek, Emily and Spencer are all looking in concerned because he hasn’t left his office all day

and i’m just also thinking about how the team would just, do their best to feed him??? like, when they stop for gas on long road trips to/back from cases, he always doesn’t buy anything besides a coffee (black, as usual, with just a dash of sugar and cream on good days) for himself, but then JJ passes him an unopened nutri bar which she claimed she bought earlier for herself but now 'doesn’t feel like eating anymore', Dave silently hands over a cookie (chocolate chip, his favourite) and stares at him with his eyebrows raised until Aaron accepts the cookie and actually eats it, Derek slips a wrap into his hands somehow and offers to drive because 'Hotch, you gotta finish your wrap', Spencer casually asks Hotch if he can help him finish off this sandwich which he bought but cannot finish, and Hotch looks down and sees a perfectly fine egg and ham sandwich which hasn’t even been bitten into, but Spencer’s looking at him with those eyes (he thinks of Jack and how strikingly alike his sons they are) so he takes the sandwich and eats it, Emily openly challenges him and says ‘here’s the bag of chips i owe you, you better finish it all because i took the trouble of actually getting them or else’ and he goes along with it because he’s learnt that arguing with her is sometimes equivalent to arguing with Penelope, and that mostly ends up with him going along with both their ‘suggestions’ in the end anyway, and on the rare cases where Penelope goes with the team out into the field, she always packs homemade cookies and cupcakes that are so wonderfully bright and colourful, like everything about her, and when she gets to him with those sparkling hopeful eyes and says ‘I made these myself, come on, have a taste and let me know what you think?’, Hotch can’t help but accept it because he doesn’t ever want to disappoint Penelope and make her sad, because her bubbly and innocent demeanour reminds him of Jack and he would never do anything to kill that bright light that is Penelope

aND I’m getting some big emotions. imagine all the subtle (& not so subtle) things the team does just to make sure he eats (regularly) which may include and are not limited to: inviting themselves over to Hotch’s house for homecooked meals (Spencer, Derek), inviting him & Jack out on outings or playdates which most often than not end with them at restaurants where Hotch eats because Jack needs a good role model on healthy eating behaviours and he’s got to be that for Jack (Derek, Emily, JJ), or just showing up at his house/office to leave him baked goods/cooked meals that were always somehow ‘extras’ or ‘leftovers’ (JJ, Penelope, Rossi, Spencer) i'm sorry this got so long!! it was written a little over a month ago when i was procrastinating on my literature essay in the middle of the night, so i got a little angsty LOL. i hope this distracts you somewhat from the horrible ask you got! take care of yourself! sending love and hugs <33

🌙

Putting my answer below the keep reading for scrolling x

Aww thank you for sending it!! When I saw I had an ask, I really thought it was you, and then it was that stupid anon and I was like: Oh okay then... I have to go eat dinner so....

Ohh... his childhood... the poor kid would've been so much smaller, but so determined to do everything for Sean because that's his little brother and he loves him more than anything... I love Haley though <3

He would so do that though. He would tell himself he could eat once he's done something- which is really unhealthy, if you're reading this do not ever withhold food, if you're feeling hungry just eat something it doesn't matter what it is because something will always, always be healthier than nothing- and then he would pick something else up and the cycle would repeat...

He would convince himself the coffee is enough, that there's nothing wrong with his habits because he's never done anything different, but he would know deep down that it's not right. But he still wouldn't eat anything because he knows it'll make him naesous either way.

The worst part is what are the team meant to do in that situation? They can't force him to eat... as much as they may want to, they can't...

YES! The team would have a tally chart of who last had to make Hotch eat, so they would have a rota, and occasionally (all the time actually) they would deviate from said rota and then they would all look at each other and then laugh because eh, it's fine!

That ending was so cute, I love them <3

Noo!! Don't be sorry it go so long, I love it so much!! I might have to work it into a fic... wait... one of them may have referenced JJ giving him in a sandwich, unless that was only in my head lol

#tw eating habits #tw implied abuse #tw alcoholism #tw almost fainting #🌙anon #people talk to me

[normal-thoughts-official]

Thots on a figure skating au??? 🅱️lease

hmmmmmmm ok so disclaimer that i know nothing about figure skating so i'm just making up whatever

you got me in a difficult position here cuz on the one hand, i'd love for magnus to be a trainer/coreographer. i think it suits him wonderfully and that while obviously he is great at dancing and loves it, i think that he's more on the creative side of things, you know? so i could imagine something like figure skater alec and trainer magnus. and like alec is a shadowhunter so of course that demands a high level of control over your body that is similar to a figure skater's

but at the same time its funny to me to try to imagine alec figure skating when hes a fucking giant like that because like hes so big?? and when ur big like that ur kind of like... mandatorily graceless and clumsy to a degree methinks (not in a like oh hes always tripping and blushing way, more like the "you're on my leg, you asshole" blooper), because things aren't made for you. like really its an actual matter of accessibility sometimes, especially if you actually have the proportions of a real person like alec does (well, except for the yaoi mcfuckhands. they look big even compared to the rest of his ridiculous body he just b standing there and im like christ edward fingerhands we get it) cuz then Everything Is Bigger Than It Should ya feel

so yeah i can't really imagine alec in like, spandex being all graceful and shit, but at the same time rationally i could imagine that for his character, but also no. so i can't really go with that idea without laughing

but also i can't imagine him as a trainer/coreographer and i don't know who the fuck else is involved with figure skating anyway so is alec like, the janitor or some shit???? some fucking basketball player who sees him at the olympics??? lord help me i have no idea

OK SO IT'S BEEN LIKE 5 MONTHS SINCE I FIRST PUT THE FIRST PART OF THIS ANSWER IN MY DRAFTS (rip anon im so sorry) and i THINK i got it!!! alec could be like, the uhh personal trainer? physical trainer? YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN like the one dedicated to making sure the figure skater's body is. capable of. dancing. idk how to explain it but you do get it don't you??? ok

i'm mostly going off my dancing experience here (i had dance classes for like, 10 years of my life, and ugh i miss it) and like besides dancing you always have to train like lifting and doing localized training and stuff because you can't really dance if you don't have strength and flexibility and stamina and all that stuff. the only time i would willingly work out was for dancing lmao especially when i was in my hiphop crew. anyway

and while for me the one responsible for that part of training was the same person as my teacher/coreographer (or when i was doing hiphop it was just. on me to do that lmao but i'm not complaining) i figure when you're a professional and not just a dumb kid that's probably two different people, right? if not it is now. idc

i could go with figure skater magnus and trainer alec but also im really feeling the dynamics of coreographer magnus and trainer alec? like it'd be cute/funny to see them trying to work together for that ya know. so sorry that this feels less like a figure skating au especially since it took me so long to answer it but aaa

but also i mean as a coreographer magnus would have to know how to do it obviously so you would most definitely get a figure skating magnus. alec going to close up the gym and seeing magnus practicing by himself just for fun, anyone? and magnus looks gorgeous as ever way more gorgeous than whoever they're coaching but that's just alec's opinion and magnus kind of stops like "oh, i didn't know you were here" and alec's like "oh oops. anyway keep going you're great at this" and magnus feels a little self conscious but soon he gets lost in it again because really he loves doing this and alec is just appreciating the artwork :)

ANYWAY the dynamics of trainer and coreographer are fun. magnus showing up to alec like "hey alec so i need some heavy lifting on them arms cuz meliorn [idk i don't have any better ideas for who they could be coaching] is gonna carry an elephant onstage" and alec is like "uhh" and meliorn is like "a fake elephant" and alec is like "i mean good but i still have questions"

and magnus is like "obviously we would never use trained elephants, the way they are treated is inhumane" and alec is like "you're completely right but also that's your only worry when it comes to meliorn carrying a real elephant?" and magnus is like "i'm sure you could pull it off ;) you're the best after all" and alec gives him that amused smile

advantages of meliorn: they don't care about the flirting anyway since they are literally Like That too

also magnus and alec working out together off the clock, some ogling on both sides and just generally funny competitive shenanigans. especially cuz like magnus is hella fit but alec works in that stupid gym so he knows what he's about. and alec's all smug about it like "i can lift more than you :)" and magnus is like "oh yeah? let's see how you do in the ring" "no" "yes" "no" "why, can you not do it?" "yes. i know my limits" "well that's too bad... because you're going in anyway"

cue alec falling on his face probably but also like goddamn it he's competitive and he's not gonna let magnus have too much of a win so he tries his best rip. anyway then we probably get some hip touching bullshit when magnus tries to explain it to him and magnus is flirting the whole time and alec's laughing and it's sweet

i have half a mind to make up some angsty backstory about how magnus used to be a figure skater too and his partner was (you'll never guess it) camille and then she pulled the rug from under him and he kinda left the competitions altogether for a while. and then he came back as a coreographer (listen, he loves to dance, but creating is one of his favorite parts and he was always involved in coreographing anyway. his old coreographer and him were always having a blast and camille did not like it) and this is kinda his debut as a coreographer at some big shot competition idk and he just feels like he has so much to prove?

lol bonus camille's new coreographer is lorenzo so the hating magnus squad is in thick against him and it's a whole thing you know

OH MEGA ANGSTY camille got him out of the competition because she outed him as trans and he was declassified because something something transphobic bullcrap so he wasn't allowed anymore. i assume this was like right after they won because of course she wouldn't compromise herself, or maybe it was at the beginning/pre-stages of the championship so she had time to find a new partner. yeah that last one and then she won with the coreography that he had helped them create. im saying she did that because he broke up with her finally after years of abuse both in work and out of it so she did that as revenge or to make sure he couldn't have his passion anymore. and it took magnus years to build himself back up as a coreographer this time because transphobia (and racism) in the market but guess what? he is extremely smart and talented and creative so now he is back at the championship and he wants to show the world what they have been missing on

hmmmmm also i implied this is in pairs since magnus and camille used to be one so i think meliorn's pair would probably be izzy and maybe that's why alec's involved? like he was already a personal trainer or whatever which his parents were fine with even though it's not of course as grand as they would've liked (meaning they were total asses about it) but when izzy decided to go into sports/art they lost their shit and didn't want to support her so, you know, alec did and became her trainer. which is just as well because he is the best so like, deal with it. not saying they like kicked her out or anything (esp cuz i imagine part of alec's reasoning is that izzy stood by him when he came out and if they didn't kick him out over being gay they wouldn't kick her out over being a skater but y'know) but they definitely wouldn't support her so they both also feel like they have a lot to prove

lol me: i have half a mind to make this angsty. also me: paragraphs and paragraphs of angsty backstory

anyway they win obviously idk what to tell you they just do cuz we stan talent. camille is second for maximum drama and vengeance, the lightwoods try to get the spotlight once izzy wins and she and alec tell them to fuck off, they advocate for specific rules prohibiting ppl to declassify trans ppl over being trans and that's all i have tbh

sorry it took so long to answer daiudsauihda but i hope that outline is at least interesting for you!

#sh #shadowhunters #malec #magnus bane #alec lightwood #izzy lightwood #meliorn #lightwood siblings #ask #anonymous #long post #figure skating au #camille belcourt is an abuser

[littlemisslol-fic]

How about one where Varian was able to drill his father out of the amber, and Quirin saw what he was doing? What would he do?

OOOO FUN!! Poor Quirin, guy just took a long nap and woke up to some SHIT going down. Can’t he get some coffee in him first or something??

1. When Varian starts up the drill, he’s half convinced it’s not going to work. Nothing else has, he’s been trying things for weeks. He’s nearly shocked when it actually cracks the amber, spiderwebs breaking through. It’s so close, so close- even as Rapunzel screams in pain, he keeps going, he can’t stop now.

And then the amber breaks.

Quirin is dazed. He falls from the amber like a limp puppet, ragdolling over almost like he’s dead. Varian abandons the drill the second his father’s free, rushing forward to help him up. He’s alive, actually alive-

He’s so distracted that he doesn’t even notice Frederic behind him until it’s too late.

2. Quirin spends the next three days recovering. His limbs are weak, even if it were only a month he was trapped, it’s enough for the start of atrophy to dig into him. The first person he asks for, when he wakes up from a long sleep, is Varian. The castle orderlies refuse to answer him when he asks where his son is. Rapunzel is up and walking again, but she never comes to visit. Quirin is left alone to question, to wonder. What had happened while he was asleep?

Frederic fills him in eventually. The castle attacked, the queen kidnapped, Old Corona becoming a battleground. It’s a horrifying story, Quirin can barely comprehend that it was real.

Because at the center of it all, is Varian.

His boy, his sweet, helpful son. A monster? Frederic tells Quirin the boy had snapped in his grief, had driven himself insane without his father to reel him in. Quirin has his doubts- he’s seen when Frederic has lied, before, he knows the tells- but keeps it to himself.

When the king leaves, Quirin’s doubts only multiply.

3. Rapunzel eventually comes to see him. Quirin is on bedrest still, confined to the infirmary, but she still comes to him. Your son is being put on trail, she tells him, but I have a plan

Quirin doesn’t like to think of what her plan might be. His loyalty is to his king, Frederic had promised that they’d work together to solve the problem of the black rocks- he has to believe that his friend will be lenient on his son. Varian was accused of treason, and it was an apt charge for what he’d done. As much as he hates to admit it, due process had to be served.

He tells Rapunzel this, trying to avoid looking as her face crumples in disgust. He’s your child she argues. Quirin refuses to budge, and she leaves him in a huff. Something in him feels unsettled by it, but he settles back into his pillows.

He just had to have faith in his king.

4. Frederic comes to visit Quirin one more time. Varian’s trial is over, Quirin doesn’t know the results. Fred opens the door, standing tall. Quirin feels a pulse of hope, but it snuffs out when the king only looks at him.

“I hope you can forgive me.” Frederic says, before he leaves.

The dread begins then, a sinking in his gut.

Rapunzel arrives not soon after, frazzled and panic. Varian’s been put to death, she tells him. Quirin’s world ends there.

But justice must be served.

5. The princess shakes him awake in the dead of night. She gets him to follow her through the quiet of the castle. He does, still numb. She leads him to the courtyard, where a single, cloaked figure stands. It’s Varian, thank god. Quirin reaches for him, but Varian backs away.

Rapunzel told me what you said, he accuses, how could you side with him?

Quirin’s at a loss, unable to defend his blind loyalty. Varian’s face is drawn, tired. Scared. Rapunzel frets over him, handing him a pack of supplies. This isn’t a team-up, Quirin realizes; they think this is a goodbye.

Varian is his child, his only son, and Quirin had almost hand fed him to the wolves out of duty. He feels disgusted with himself, unable to understand where he’d gotten his priorities so skewed.

He steps closer to Varian, who still keeps his distance. He must think Quirin might call for the guards, might sell him out-

I’m going with you, Quirin says instead. Varian looks startled, like he hadn’t expected the support of his only parent. The thought cuts deeper than Quirin would like. He holds out a hand, begging. Varian looks at it, contemplating.

It takes longer than Quirin would like, for his own child to trust him.

That night, they disappear clean out of the country. Quriin takes him to the Great Tree. He doesn’t know where Adira is, but Hector is easy enough to pin. The Tree would keep them safe, far away from arrogant kings and well-meaning, but misguided princesses.

The Dark Kingdom welcomes its children back with open arms.

AHHHHH SORRY THAT TOOK A BIT ANON!! Had some stuff to do that was on a time limit lol, so that had to come first. I kind of went in a weird direction with it, but would it be my content if I didn’t get at least a LITTLE odd lololol 💕💕

Send me an AU, and I’ll come back with 5 points about it!

#varian #asks

[zirkkun]

Yo you have every right to be upset about things! You're still a person with your own feelings and deserve to be treated kindly. No one should come at you for making things you enjoy or for misunderstandings. I hope things get better for you even if I wasn't here for when all the drama happened (or maybe I was and just wasn't aware of it? I tend to avoid drama as much as possible tbh)

I didn't really post about it much. I think I answered about 4 asks about it (three of them in the same post because i was sure it was the same anon due to the similar string of seemingly continued messages) and the rest I just deleted as soon as they came in, but I got... A lot. A lot of mean things said too. Kinda hurts when you wanted to make something because you knew this work was highly criticized and wanted to let people give it a second chance only to be shot down by the people you were hoping to defend lol

In short, and a lot of it I missed because I was blocked by a lot of people so my friend sent me screencaps; someone took I believe only the old ask box post I had for ULR, which at the time was called "Underlust Rewrite," and was disgusted at the fact that everything was revamped and "made for kids" (because it's not 18+ explicit content, but as I've said before, it's just cause I'm too scared to be horny on main, and I've literally made a whole different biological system for ULR so I can write the necessary story ""sex scenes"" without it being human-like sex or otherwise uncomfortable or too explicit for me to draw, but I still consider it a mature story overall), so they blocked me instantly here and on twitter and then made a callout post on twitter itself. People were telling me originally to stop calling the AU Underlust, and I didn't really get it at first, because like, what's the difference between my spinoff and, say, Underlust Gold, Swapfell Indigo, TS!Underswap, you know, names that have add-ons from the original title to differentiate it but still connect it to the source. So that's what I said, as well as if I removed the Underlust name, it would be considered stealing to me, because I'd be disconnecting it from the source. But apparently, instead, what had been the concern was that it was just being called "Underlust" and the "Rewrite" aspect was implying I was replacing the original story, which like, had never been my intention and I've made a bunch of things with both the ULR and UL cast together and love the idea of Lust and Ace meeting up and just being a disaster duo of not working together at all. I just adore Underlust like it's in my pinned FAQ, Lust's been in my banner for months now, and he's practically my staple pfp character on every account but here atm.

It took like 3 days for it to actually click what was going on, because once I finally got the chance to have a conversation with someone where they weren't telling me I was the scum of the Earth -- which, honestly, bless the three people I talked to, they were so sweet (which actually included someone from the Japanese side of the fandom whose art I loved too... yeah it got pretty far. Once I sent them a message though it was cleared up quickly and they did post a clarification post about ULR and me, so that was nice to see.) -- I finally got the chance to realize that this was a misunderstanding from the beginning, from both sides, where people coming at me were saying I was doing all of the stuff above and probably more but those stuck the most, while I was confused as to where this information and accusations were coming from and what they were referring to in the first place. They probably never explained it in the anon asks because, well, they probably assumed I knew what I was doing, but when they came at me about something I didn't do with vague context of something I did do, I was very confused, and got really defensive really quickly, and really honestly snapped pretty hard. After my first initial explanation post and people were still trying to tell me to stop ULR/don't call it Underlust/whatever else there was, I just got tired and told people to block me if they didn't like it. But that didn't really stop anyone and honestly made it worse because that's when I started getting really nasty messages. I like... Specifically remember one where someone called me a lowlife and a thief, and that one stuck the most, but I tended to not read through them before deleting them for my own sanity. I actually did this to one of the people who'd later talked to me calmly about it at first too, because I had just woken up, and really didn't want to read an essay lecture on everything everyone's been telling me at the crack of 7am when I was borderline ready to delete my account and start over lol

Some people I do remember were accusing me of trying to censor nsfw content or erase it as well because ULR isn't 18+, and I'm out here on my horny ass like "wh. What are they talking about, where did you get that idea, have you SEEN my ao3 recommended list," /j but in all seriousness I really didn't understand that accusation at all because I've never been against nsfw content in the slightest and lowkey? This is very dumb -- but like, you know how they say when you get hate mail, you know you've made it? Well, for me, my thought has always been, "When there's 18+ fancontent of my OC's, I'll have finally made it." This is... Not a joke, some of my friends think its very weird LMAO oh well. I've been on the internet for far too long at this point -- like, definitely since I was far too young, probably, and being with a family of the next youngest being 12 years older than me, I really dove into stuff pretty quickly I definitely shouldn't have, but hey that's life -- I'm really unfazed by mostly anything now. Hell, me making ULR was honestly half motivated by me wanting to make others more comfortable with this kind of media, discussing sexuality and otherwise sexual-considered topics, without really being embarrassed or bothered by it. Because, people talk about death and killing and whatever other gorey stuff just fine, but the moment sex comes up, people just gasp in awe, y'know? I kind of grew up that way myself but like... ironically, in being more comfortable with my asexuality, I realized that it's honestly not that big of a deal. Sure, we don't need to hear the details of everything. We don't need to hear the details of a murder either. But I will never understand how murder is always the lowest on the "morally wrong list of things to not to" to so many people and that it's fine to mention, but even consider bringing up anything else and it's like, a sin and you're a bad person. Even racism is like, higher up on there for a lot of people, which it's like... this is an issue that needs to be discussed, or it can never be solved. You can't just kick that away and hope it goes away on its own, that's never how it works.

Ah, well, now I've gone off tangent lol. Sorry to make you read a blob of text lmao but having things in a cohesive format of what I've been thinking does feel a bit better. Thank you for the support regardless, and I do want to keep making what I really enjoy, because frankly, I really want to make things that make people take a step back and think for a moment, y'know? Things that invoke like a realization in yourself about something you didn't even know. That's how fiction's always been for me, so I want to give back by making it that way too. ... maybe my horny content is exempt from this however. That's just. Self indulgence LMAO.

Probably helps that I'm actually talking this all out for once, too, since before any of this I tried to keep as much of the situation contained to myself as possible in hopes I could clean it up before it got too bad. That was, in hindsight, probably a terrible idea lol. But I didn't want to be a source of stress for anyone following me or become the new creator-to-defend that like, 50% of people hate and 50% of people love and that you're either on one side or the other and there's no where in between. (I feel like Arin Hanson comes to mind for me every time I think of someone like this.) I know I can't please everyone and I knew internet hate would come eventually, but like, didn't expect it to be over a name or tag choice. I thought that would be a simple enough DM or clearable thing but apparently not, especially since I saw someone a few weeks ago delete their blog over a similar thing (though, the opposite, in a way: posting nsfw in a sfw tag by mistake). It wasn't in the UT fandom so y'all probably weren't following them (tbf I wasn't either, I just witnessed it happen from start to finish), but it was still disheartening.

Anyway, thank you, and sorry to make ya read all of that (if you actually did vahdbs don't blame you if you don't it's a lot of thought dump lmao)💕💕

#zircon answers #anonymous #all this happened like the DAY i got accepted onto the bhc team to and i was like #alright guys am i being kicked out day one lol #like i was expecting the worst from this whole thing #but im still kind of happy with how i worked it out #i really wish more people were like #willing to talk things out rather than just spit in a general direction and hope youll listen #because like even the people i talked to calmly some of them were pretty rude at first! but! #theyre not bad people #they were just scared for their favorite thing #i cant blame them for that and honestly i do consider the hatred justified under the circumstances that they knew #but they were all really nice after we talked things out #and were like 'i hope your series does well' and that really meant a lot honestly #death mention tw//

[inevitably-johnlocked]

(was originally an ask, then i rambled a crapload, so if u wanna skip through, just go to the bolded questions)

i am new to the fandom & just found your blog, just wanted to say DAMN its so detailed and everything, i cant wait to read it all! also i was so relieved to find that the fandom is still alive <3

side note im just rambling here, i binged sherlock all really quick and everything is like a blur (idk if im in a state of shock or something, but i do know i was super invested at s1 ep 2, then i finished s4 at 4am one day and i had to read me some johnlock fics to comfort myself and i really dont know how i feel about anything yet just that well, johnlock and i cried during sherlocks fake death even tho i already accidentally read spoilers, and i also cried when they just went to hang out at bars together and hhh and during sherlocks best man speech and sherlocks goodbye to john (…maybe goodbye should be plural)…also i was v mad at eurus and s4 was a hell of a rollercoaster gd), so just wondering, how many times have you watched sherlock? how was the experience each time? (can be about any season or eps or anything, also any snacks u liked to eat while watching or anything of that sort? just curious and thought that might be fun to answer)(apologies if you answered this already i tried to look for it but i got a bit overwhelmed)

btw u are amazing ^^ (also nice timer even tho it makes me sad) and MAD RESPECT for answering so many asks and like SO DETAILED-LY? (i cant grammar) and god ur metas and stuff?? absolutely fantabulous. im legit crying im so glad i found your blog. i know how much work asks take (and like i procrastinate on them for so long…mm months old esp for fic rec lists bc i know those take WORK) so like again, SO MUCH RESPECT thank you for all your hard work!! you are absolutely fantastic and awesome :D please make sure you take care of yourself too <3

ALSO you have a great profile picture + background pic (forgive me i have half a braincell (actually lets make it .7437 gave myself a tiny upgrade even tho i didnt do anything) i forgot what its called…background thing?? idk) i love them!!

if u read through all that tysm, if not thank u anyways for being so amazing, i have a habit of rambling so pls bear with me ^^

(also would it be possible to make this anon? if not feel free to delete this line ^^)

(Submitted by Anonymous)

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Hi Lovely!!

Always can make something Anon if y’all ask <3

First of all, SORRY for how long it took me to get back to you with this one. I’m a giant heap of trash and I’m surprised people still come here LOL

Secondly, WELCOME TO THE FANDOM! We love having y’all here, and I’m honoured that you enjoy my blog and content! Also will comment on your praise on my meta here: THANK YOU. I’m very proud of my meta, and especially the SHEER AMOUNT of it I have produced still boggles me mind. Y’all remember when I was creative and thoughtful??? LOL S4 dragged me hard hahah. I still try to write S4 meta, just not as much as I used to. I like speculating, I truly do, but I have so little free time these days because of the nature of my full time job, so I tend to just... do nothing LOL. I find Fic Reccing really relaxing when you have nearly 800 bookmarks. I’m worried I’m becoming stale though. Oh well. I’m just trying to leave my mark here. <3

Thirdly, HAHHAH Thank you for your compliment about my replies to my asks; I genuinely wish I could get more asks finished every day, but I tend to ramble, as you can see, and I just... don’t finish them in a timely manner. Honestly, it’s a relief when I don’t know something because I can then get the community involved to help me out AND I also get new fic recs that way too LOL. I also draft a TONNE of asks and when I do that, I tend to just keep adding MORE and MORE and MORE so I have to post them, LOL. 

And finally: My fave episode is TAB; it was the episode I studied the closest and my analysis of the trailer is my “claim to fame”. I just love it to bits. It’s the episode I’ve watched the most. S3 is my fave season, and it’s the SEASON I’ve watched the most, no less than 30 or 40 times. Season 2, then 1. I have only seen S4 like 5 times in full total, and horribly enough, TFP is the most-watched episode: I watched the Leak, the airdate, and I went and saw it in the theatres because I already bought the ticket before it aired so I just... didn’t care. And then at least 3 more times in Watchalongs. So yeah :| I still haven’t watched the BluRay I bought, but I hated having an incomplete set so I bought it when it went on sale fore 10 bucks LOL.

But yeah, S1 and 2 I watched together, and I LOVED the show. I joined fandom the summer before S3 aired, and S3 is when I REALLY got into the fandom. I’ve been pretty much here since then, about 7 years I think now. When I saw S4, it was incredulity and disappointment with it. That’s really it. I’m still a fence sitter these days about the series as a whole, but I’m leaning more and more to “no S5 for at least 3 more years” kinda thing. Just... everyone involved seems so disinterested in the show these days, minus Mofftiss to keep pushing the Sherlock™ Brand to make money.

ANYWAY. Thanks for writing to me!! This was such a joy to read when I first got it, and I just... have been really overwhelmed the past few weeks that I just have only been sticking to shorter asks. But I had some free time tonight when I’m answering this, so THANK YOU. 

I hope you’re still around, and I hope you still enjoy your time here! Don’t hesitate to ask me anything else!! <3 <3

#steph replies #chatting with nonnies #about me #happy posts #testimonials #my blog #Anonymous