#Sylvie: ...I am no longer concerned! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

mina-brekker · 6 months

Text

Let The Time Pass | Chapter 1/3

Summary

❝Mobius wanted to burn everything down. He’d make his sacrifice worthless, so he had no choice but to come back to him. Why did they need to disobey, to listen to the goodness in their hearts? Morals meant nothing without him. The TVA meant nothing without him. He meant nothing without him. Nothing mattered anymore. He had nothing left to lose, so what’s stopping him? His hands craved great destruction, for vicious chaos, to raze down the TVA until dust floated around in a pocket, to rip apart each branch until he retrieved his heart.❞

What if Loki confessed his love for Mobius before his sacrifice

A rewrite of the last episode Glorious Purpose

Notes

uh so how we feeling after the last episode

keep in mind, i wrote this on a whim with minor edits. this idea has been begging to crawl out of me. i am not a smut writer and i never experienced a panic attack, so i tried my best. please be kind <3

full chapter posted on ao3

Before

Nobody else noticed.

Things had been going great. As great as things could be with the looming threat of the Temporal Loom exploding and destroying the TVA, but their questions were finally reaching resolute answers, so he held onto hope for a little longer. He had too for the sake of the timelines and the god standing near him. They retrieved He Who Remains’ variant, Victor Timely, a strangely fitting name, and Sylvie came back to help. Well, that part he wasn’t entirely happy about, he wished he’d been able to rant to Brad about her and Loki’s odd, egotistical romance since nobody else seemed to understand. It’s unnatural, yet abnormally predictable for a Loki to fall for themselves, he tried not to let his thoughts get carried away but whenever Loki uttered her name, Mobius clenched his jaw to ignore the nagging in his gut.

He wouldn’t let anybody know the satisfaction he felt watching Loki fight her to defend Victor, he almost smiled at the sight but Ravonna glaring at him as if he pruned her first stopped him from celebrating his small victory. He had to deal with her first. When the chaos erupted, as often happened with Lokis around, Mobius found what he could much to Loki’s dismay, he wouldn’t admit his glee when the god silently threw his leg over the tandem bike in defeat.

He wouldn’t dwell on Sylvie’s return. Not right now when things were finally looking up for them and she wasn’t acting as dagger-wielding violent as usual.

Loki had been standing beside them, nodding along to the rushed ramblings of O.B. and Victor about the loom and using the prototype while Casey commented when he could among the mad scientists. Mobius had no clue what any of it meant. Sylvie looked anxious to find a solution, bickering with Loki about timelines and godhood, so she could return to her shift at McDonalds and the little life she created for herself. He’d been tempted to ask how they made the apple pies but then it happened.

Loki’s eyes were blank for a moment then his shoulders tensed ever so slightly as if an unseen force grazed his spine, he looked around like he needed to recall his surroundings. The sudden change left Mobius uncertain and concerned, the urge to reach out and steady a hand on his back came over him.

A while after the time-slipping incident, he hovered over Loki afraid of the god disappearing again in sudden awful bouts of chaos. He was worried. What if he slipped again never remained, always to be stuck out beyond his reach. The thought terrified him. Mobius touched him more than usual; a firm hand on his arm, their legs tangled under his desk, his fingers on his shoulder while he leaned over him, reading a file on his desk; a touch on his back reserved for elevator rides. Loki seemed pleased from all his light affections; he was a god who still experienced mortal worship until he snapped at him for turning into an unbecoming nuisance with the little offended pout he always had when people frustrated him. Mobius laughed it off and ceased his need to reach out to feel him, to assure he remained, but the nervousness never faded, he never stopped thinking; what if he slips again?

Mobius couldn’t imagine living in a world without a Loki Who Remains.

“Hey, you okay?” The scientists didn’t hear him over their constant exchange of ideas over the clattering of tools and material. Sylvie glanced over; her eyes ran over his body to check for any changes in his condition. Mobius wanted to snap at her to mind her business, she didn’t care about his wellbeing when she was fighting him in a Ferris Wheel, but Loki had his attention.

“Mobius, yes, I’m fine.” Loki came over to him in big strides then grabbed his arms with a reckless need. Mobius grunted from the force, almost stumbling back as Loki leaned closer to him. The frantic, near desperate look in his eyes resembled his days of madness in New York. “I need to talk to you. In private.”

“We don’t have time. We need to-“

“To stop the Loom from imploding so you can return to your precious timeline.” He said with a rushed exhale, “I get it, Sylvie. But I need to speak with him, now.”

Loki shook where he stood. Mobius’ gut clenched as he stared at him, trying to look around to see if anything bothered him but Loki only tightened his grip if he dared move too much. He was normal a few minutes ago. He remembered the hatred in his eyes after calling him a scared little boy, but he truly looked frightened as if he’d crumble into dust without holding him. As Mobius reached out for his shoulders, his eyes ran over the paleness of his skin and lingered on the unshed tears in his eyes. Who hurt him? Who did he need to hurt back? Mobius cradled the side of his face; Loki closed his eyes and grabbed his wrist.

“Where do you wanna go?” He whispered.

Mobius hated how weak Loki made him feel. For the longest time, Mobius believed he’d been a model analyst of the TVA even with his workaholic tendencies. He became stern and unrelenting, not able to bend to anyone's will except for Ravonna. He appreciated the order, always planning his next step ahead while watching a trickster wreak chaos on a timeline beyond his reach. Mobius knew with all his centuries of observing Loki that he would find a way to disrupt the balance with his ramblings of glorious purpose in those brilliant green eyes. He’d nestle into his peaceful life, sleeping on his desk with his dark hair framing his face and listening to his fears over a slice of pie as if Mobius weren’t a mere mortal in the grace of a god, a force to be reckoned with.

That’s why he lov-

No, it’s ridiculous to entertain such a notion. Loki didn’t belong to him, he never did. He always belonged to himself. He’d never belong to Mobius. After Timely and O.B. fixed the loom, he’d jump between different timelines in search of his glorious purpose elsewhere. There’s no room for Mobius in his future. He shouldn’t have let a variant turn him soft, but the desperation in his watery eyes silenced the judgmental voice in his head. Right now, Mobius wanted to ease his pain, and nothing would stop him. If Loki told him to run down the gangway in the bulky suit, to stand until all his skin peeled away under immense radiation, he’d do it to get rid of the fear in his eyes.

“I-Is there some…something t-the matter w-with the wizard.”

“The realization must’ve hit him that we all face a fiery doom if we aren’t successful.” O.B. said while crouched behind the counter, the sounds of his hands rummaging through a box of junk. “I had similar feelings of dread when the loom started to expand beyond our control.”

“Let’s not think too much about it.” Casey said with a nervous smile. “Let’s think about what we have to look forward to afterwards.”

“I’m going to write another book!” O.B. shot up with the proper tool in his hand.

Casey perked up. “Will you sign it for me?”

“Of course.”

“M-May I h-have a signature a-as well?”

“Let’s focus! We have no time for chatting.” Sylvie said, looking pointedly at Loki’s back. Mobius wished he’d prune her when he had the chance.

Loki opened his eyes. Mobius’ breath hitched at the unease in them, from the god leaning into his touch. He ached to hold him close until the loom took away everything precious to him. Everyone else be damned.

Mobius swallowed. “It’ll be quick."

Note

hi again um this is honestly me coping with everything. i hope you enjoyed the snippet. the full chapter is ao3 and it's a doozy. not me having crippling writer's block then popping out 10k+ lokius fic on a whim. is this what the cool kids call hyperfixation?

#lokius #loki series #mobius m mobius #loki laufeyson #mobius x loki #fanfiction #this is my way of coping #this is me trying #loki spoilers #loki season finale #i need help #mobius is my everything #if anything happens to him i will kill everyone and then myself #you can tell i have an unhealthy obsession with the desk scene #its all i think about #tom hiddleston #owen wilson #mobius is my comfort character

5 notes · View notes

valkyrieandstrangeridingaragorn · 1 year

Note

unpopular opinion but phase 4 has the same formula as the previous phases i just think the main problem is they should have left the old characters and stories out of it, like maybe getting them in cameos to guide the new characters but i am personally done with their stories specifically loki , thor , jane ,clint , bucky and peter parker. endgame just felt like an ending for these characters and not seeing them again is honestly way better than seeing them get beaten around by nostalgia and shit writers or directors

I think the main issue is they're rushing things a little too much and they're not hiring writers who care about the previous works, they just want to write some superhero story with no concern about characterization, much less continuity. I'd say in the past they cared a lot more about the characters and their stories, now the grand story is the most important part and the characters are the excuse - things happen to them instead of being the main catalysts of the things happening to them.

In the matter of one year we've had 7 movies and 9 series. Of those movies, 2 were about entirely new characters (Shang-Chi and Eternals) and the last series introduced Moon Knight, Ms Marvel and She-Hulk. I haven't seen the last two but MK was absolutely perfect because it focused on Marc and it had an entire episode to explain his backstory. Sadly he is the only one to have such an honour as most of the time the new characters are absolute strangers after their movie/show has ended and some of them have no arc, like Sylvie: she's exactly the same in ep3 as she is in ep6.

I don't really need the MCU products to be connected because I don't want to watch these thinking about what's coming next. I want to sit in the theatre and watch MoM be a story about Stephen. I want to watch L&T because I care about Thor. NWH only works because we've seen Raimi and Webb's movies, otherwise the Peters and the villains would be absolute strangers.

I believe the new characters only work when it's a team-up like Natasha/Yelena, Clint/Kate, Spidey with the other Peters. But when the MCU tries to tell its audience that the old characters we used to like so much are weak and stupid in the face of the new ones.... for a lot of us that doesn't make us like them, it makes us despise them.

But I agree with you that it's better to see those characters gone rather than keep them only to write them badly. I can't begin to express how happy I am that Steve is no longer in the MCU, can you imagine him at the hands of Waldron or Spellman? 😱😱

#mcu salt

12 notes · View notes

goldenorder · 2 years

Text

@sylvctica / cont’d

The Chasm is known to be an endless rabbit-hole of mysteries that are beyond that of the average person’s understanding. Just as one situation is resolved, another quickly arises. Of course, that is only to be expected since the entryway has recently been made opened again, allowing many issues to be brought to light. And though he has relinquished himself of his duties as Rex Lapis, that does not stop him from scoping the area as a…concerned fellow citizen of Liyue. Nothing more.

And right he was for following his keen instincts in sensing approaching danger, honed from centuries of brutal bloodshed. For within the most inner depths of the mines came a flow of pure, elemental energy that could be mistaken to be no other’s, mixed with the wretched stench of the Abyss. The energy of Dendro came in an excessive amount, understandably alarming the consultant as this could only mean one thing: Sylvie is here, and they are in danger.

Silently, without wasting another moment, he makes haste for their location. Long acquainted with the swallowing darkness which encompasses the Chasm, it does not take long for him to reach where he presumes they were, with their trail of Dendro serving as a beacon of light. The sight he was greeted with… was nothing short of gruesome, worse than what he could have brought himself to imagine. If one didn’t know any better, they could have been mistaken for an unrecognizable corpse among the many others here.

He mentally curses the heavens, damning them even. It took everything to ignore the painful churning of his insides, his heart sinking to a bottomless pit, vision blurring; and for a moment, he feels powerless, weak. But that is all quickly crushed beneath the soles of his feet as he pulls himself together, his years of mental fortitude akin to that of a sturdy boulder.

“Sylvie!” His firm voice, as steady as one could manage in this dire situation, calls to grab their attention, echoing soundly. With how they were sitting upright, he could only assume they were still conscious–granting him only a smidge of relief amidst the crushing weight of turmoil threatening to cloud his rationale.

Polearm materializing in hand, in case of danger remaining, he gets on his knees, not caring for the guck or dirt that muddied his clothing. “Sylvie. Sylvie? Can you hear me?” His questions, though numerous, could only be saved for later. What happened and why; the god is clearly in no position to explain at the time, much less with only half of their head there to do the speaking.

Though a single glance would tell that their loss of limbs was most severe, what actually caught his attention was the amassing purple embedded deep in their wounds. Abyssal energy. “I am taking you to my teapot.” There are no buts or ifs. They can not risk to remain here any further. Whatever was here is clearly no longer present, providing a prime opportunity for both to retreat.

“Is your arm still...?” Intact. He trails off as wandering eyes caught sight of the missing limb, laying limp on the ground, lifeless. Harnessing Geo, his hand makes a gesture for it to levitate towards them. “I am sorry, but I am going to have to ask you to hold onto this while I carry you back. Will you be able to manage that?” With whatever remaining arm they carried anyway, as he promptly he lifts them up into his arms with relative ease.

#gore cw #body horror cw #HEY THIS IS 😁 NOT OKAY #SYLVIE IS NOT OKAY #GUN EMOJIS YOU AGGRESSIVELY #pov zl reaches out of ur screen TO STRANGLE YOU #ic #v: consultant #long post

6 notes · View notes

mimisempai · 2 years

Text

The chronicles of Loki and Mobius by Croki - Introduction

Summary:

The story of Loki and Mobius seen by Croki.

Notes:

@rins-love-wins and her awesome and fun fan art of Croki, made me want to write from the alligator's perspective. Totally cracked up obviously. But I hope you enjoy it anyway! Each chapter will be like a oneshot. The cover is made by @rins-love-wins

On AO3

Rating G

Dear two-legged friend,

Let me introduce myself. I'm Alligator Loki, but I prefer to be called Croki.

Before we go any further, I want to make one thing clear first.

I am an alligator, an ALLIGATOR. Not a crocodile, not a caiman, an alligator. I am a variant of Loki, which means I am a god. So if you don't want to taste my wrath, don't you dare to make a mistake about it, got it?

And if you're wondering how an Alligator can write when he doesn't have an opposable thumb, I'd like to remind you that as a Loki variant, I know some magic tricks.

But this diary is not to tell my story but the one of my new humans, Mobius and Loki.

I am often taken for a dumb animal, whose only purpose is to laze around and use his -many- teeth, so I am often ignored. But I see many, many things and since I keep company with these two idiots, many entertaining things.

And although I am often presented as a ferocious beast, I too have a heart, so don't make fun of me, if sometimes my descriptions are a bit... fluffy.

But let's move on to the main topic of this journal.

Loki and Mobius aka the time husbands as some people close to me say.

Let's go back to the beginning.

The circumstances of the three of us meeting were rather dramatic.

There are not many people I like in life. During my life on The Void, I liked the kid, a young version of me, who I hope to see again someday and a very powerful old geezer, also a version of me, who sacrificed himself on The Void. I admit I miss him a bit.

Everyone else, including President Loki, was just a bunch of idiots, the worst versions of myself. I still have the rancid taste of his hand on my tongue.

The first time I saw my humans together I knew right away that something was up.

The kid, the old one and myself saw him running when he found what appeared to be a female version of us. But Loki's momentum was different when he saw another human get out of the car, Mobius.

The first non-Loki I'd seen in a long time.

What was most disturbing to me was the smile and then the laughter that this human displayed at the sight of Loki.

We, the Lokis, were not used to this kind of smile. I saw that the kid and the old one, too, were destabilized by Mobius.

The first human who was not afraid of us.

What I also saw was that Loki held back from being more familiar with Mobius when he realized he was no longer alone.

But even to me, Croki, their connection was visible as the nose in the middle of the face.

After that we headed to an abandoned thatched cottage and while Loki and the variant, Sylvie, had a chat outside, the kid, the old one, Mobius and I were talking around the fire.

I must say it was pretty bucolic considering we were trying to escape death, don't you think?

Mobius didn't remember seeing me at the TVA and honestly, neither did I, but then again it had been so many years.

The kid, always the most caring of us, had asked Mobius what he was going to do once he got to the TVA. I remember his concerned voice as he asked, "Mobius, assuming you do get back to the TVA, what exactly are you getting yourself into?"

Mobius had an answer that had surprised all of us a little, "I don't know. I'd like to let people know the truth."

And it was old Loki who expressed our common surprise, "So just like that, you're turning on the very thing you devoted your life to."

"Well, it's never too late to change."

Mobius had sounded so sure of himself when he answered that even the old geezer couldn't think of anything to say.

I think that like me, like all Lokis, we had never been given a chance to prove that we were capable of change.

I asked myself several things at that moment.

Is that why Loki was attracted to this human?

Because he was applying to others what he applied to himself?

Because he was applying to Loki what he was applying to himself.

Because he had allowed him to change?

After that, things went on in a chaotic way, which was logical, considering the number of Lokis per square meter.

We had to part ways facing a more than uncertain future.

The kid, thoughtful once again, created a dagger that he offered to Loki before we left them. With my head on the kid's shoulder, I witnessed a rather astonishing scene.

Mobius had made a timedoor appear and after talking with Loki, he had held out his hand to him and after a few seconds, instead of grabbing it, Loki had taken a surprised Mobius in his arms.

The embrace had lasted a few seconds, but even too far away to see their expressions, I could see their reluctance to separate and the gaze of Loki who followed Mobius until the timedoor was gone.

After that a lot of things happened, which I am totally unaware of because the kid and I were busy surviving.

What I do know is that we were both surprised, when two TVA agents came to get us, not to imprison us, but to save us.

We ended up at the TVA, and it was there that I was reunited with those who became my guardians.

More accurately, I witnessed first their own reunion.

But that, dear two-legged friend, is a story for another day.

Here ends the introduction of what I will pompously call: The chronicles of Loki and Mobius by Croki (To serve you)

It will be funny, serious, tender, mischievous, chaotic because that's what they are, I would even say that's what we are.

Dear two-legged friend, you have been warned, if you choose to continue following our adventures, be ready for chaos!

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story 🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Lokius masterlist : here

#lokius fics #lokius #loki series #loki #mobius m. mobius #moki #wowki #lokius rights #lokius forever #loki x mobius #fluff #mobius m mobius #developing relationship #alligator loki #croki #croki my beloved

23 notes · View notes

soupandtissues · 2 years

Text

Am I Good Enough (2/2)

Part 1 was the hurt and now we get to the comfort.

“Loki, did you find the file for-Loki?”

Mobius looked up from the table to see a confused Sylvie standing in the doorway.

“I thought he was helping you,” she said.

“No, he went out back. I think he wanted a break and…” Mobius trailed off, and frowned as he noticed the full mug left by the stove. “Thought he took that with him.”

Mobius stood up, concerned now, and they both looked out the window to the backyard. The very empty backyard. Worry flashed through them and they rushed outside to find the last part of their triangle.

“Loki!”

There was no answer and checking around the side of the small house revealed nothing either. Sylvie started for the road by the back fence and Mobius reached for his Tempad to check for any temporal auras in the area when they heard what sounded like coughing coming from the tool shed. Mobius got to the door first and gently pushed it open.

“Loki?”

“Bobius!”

Loki pushed himself away from the door as his other hand scrubbed at his cheeks. As if falling to pieces wasn’t enough now he’d been caught doing it. He tried to summon his magic to help, but it only managed a few green sparks before it fizzled out pathetically and made his nose tickle for good measure as it left.

“huh’GNTchh! hh’NGXtchu!”

Well he didn’t have to worry about being loud now as the sneezes slammed against the wall of cement in his head and made it pound even more.

“Oh, Loki.”

Sylvie knelt down next to him slowly, but he still flinched at her touch on his arm.

“Please, just go away both of you I’m sorry I distracted you from your work.”

If the muddled consonants weren’t enough to break their hearts the words themselves certainly were. Sylvie and Mobius shared a guilty look between them. They’d hurt him.

Mobius knelt down as well and took hold of Loki’s other arm.

“Come on let’s get you cleaned up,” he said, pulling the mess of the God of Mischief up off the floor.

Loki to his credit tried to object, but between going back outside into the still blazing sun triggering another sneezing fit, the constrained sneezes scrapping his throat making him cough, and the firm insistence of Sylvie’s hand on his back they got him upstairs to the shower.

As Mobius started the water and grabbed the towels Sylvie locked and warded the door. And Loki couldn’t hide his smile of pride at how quickly her spell work was improving.

As the room filled with steam they stepped inside and washed off the dirt and sweat of gardening along with the stress and tension of their mission to focus fully on Loki. So as Mobius worked shampoo through his hair Sylvie massaged his temples before slowly moving further in, brushing her fingers over the bridge of his nose. She smirked as it started to twitch.

“S-huh-Sylvie.”

“Yes?” she asked coyly, her smirk growing wider.

Loki cursed himself for never believing Thor that that smug look was annoying. He didn’t get to look at it much longer though as his eyes fluttered closed. Sylvie’s fingers still teasing the building itch as the moved in soft circles over his nose.

“I need to-hah-to sn-sneezeehh…”

“It’s all right we’ve got you.”

Mobius’ voice was soft as he cupped a cloth over Loki’s mouth and under his nose as Sylvie pressed her finger between his eyes with one last firm tap.

“Hehh!”

Sylvie moved to the side and Mobius gripped just a bit firmer as Loki’s head tilted back.

“Ahh-huh…ehHH’ESSUHh! ASSHUUu! heh-EESSHUh!”

Mobius started to lower the cloth as he knew that Loki almost always sneezed in doubles and no more, but Sylvie could see the crease in his brow put her hand up to stop him. Just as Loki did as well and pressed their hands together tightly.

“Heh-heh…hehh-ISSSUh! GNSSHuh! ESSUH! Hah-ahh-EHH’IEUSSHUHh!”

For a moment there was only the sound of running water and heavy breathing as Loki recovered.

“Wow,” Mobius said, rather breathless himself.

“I’m terribly sorry.”

Sylvie kissed his cheek.

“Don’t be.”

With Loki feeling less like his head was filled with rocks they got out and got him into bed with them on either side of him.

“You don’t have to tend to me like this. We’re behind as it is. I know I haven’t been working hard enough.”

“You shouldn’t have to worry about that, Loki.”

“Well I do. I know my being ill has been frustrating.”

“That is no excuse for us to get angry with you.”

Loki wanted to reply that people often found far more petty reasons to be angry with him, but was cut off by a stuttering breath and Mobius passed him a box of tissues.

“Heh-huh’ESShh! ESUuhh! Pardon me.”

The former TVA agent put his arm around him gently.

“It’s all right, Loki, you can’t exactly help it.”

Loki just tried to blow his nose as softly as possible and kept his gaze lowered, knowing that he should be able to help it.

Sylvie glared at him. “Don’t, I know that look. It’s the look that makes you hide away in the library for a week so you won’t bother anyone.” Sylvie sighed, knowing how she still wasn’t good with feelings or talking about them. “I’m sorry about what I said earlier. I’m not used to being around people for a long time and close like this, and you’re right it is…frustrating to see you not yourself, but when we first went outside and didn’t know where you were I…I don’t want to lose you over a stupid cold.”

“Still you both don’t need to stay.”

“I’d say getting mad at you for the dastardly crime of being sick is a sign we all need a break, and I think this is a good reminder of why we’re doing all this in the first place.”

Sylvie and Loki stared at Mobius “how?” they asked, confused.

“That everyone should get the chance to do what they wish with the people they wish to be with.”

Loki blushed as Sylvie and Mobius entwined their fingers over his hip.

“You are a sap, Mobius,” Sylvie said.

“I know.”

They laughed and Loki closed his eyes as he drank in the sound of it and felt sleep begin tugging at his mind.

“How long?” Loki asked, not quite sure if he meant how long they would stay, or how long before he managed to break this again.

“As long as it takes for you to believe we won’t leave again.” Mobius declared, tightening his grip around Loki as Sylvie pressed against his chest.

Loki accepted that answer. Shifting deeper under the blankets he let his arm come around Sylvie and leaned back against Mobius.

“Thank you.”

#l/oki #snz fic #torturethegodofmischief

20 notes · View notes

iamanartichoke · 3 years

Note

Another totally unprompted ask, on the assumption that you are definitely no longer in need of them… another thing I’m trying to work out about Loki characterisation in preparation for perpetrating fic torture on him is how suicidal the poor sod is most of the time. This is another thing I’ve seen referred to a lot but only in passing. Though obviously this is a pretty triggery topic, so ignore if you want.

I am always in need of totally unprompted asks, otherwise I just assume no one wants to talk to me lmao

So, hoo boy. I have been mulling over this for, apparently, three days now bc there's just ... there's a lot to unpack here. Putting under a cut for obviously triggery content and also for length bc fml.

In my opinion, the response to "how suicidal is Loki most of the time" is "very, but whether or not he wants to do anything about it varies from moment to moment" (see what I did there? I'll see myself out). In other words, I have always had a headcanon that Loki is consistently, passively suicidal. This is a headcanon that comes straight from TDW, bc I'm certain that Loki never had any intention of surviving their mission. And that could be a whole other post, really, but the point is that even though this is a TDW-centric headcanon, I have come to adopt it as applying to Loki in general as well, not just in those specific circumstances.

When I say passively suicidal, I mean that Loki is just sort of ambivalent about the value of his own life. He feels like he doesn't deserve to be alive, and feels like there's little point in being alive. Which - I don't mean to sound all gloom and doom, like, poor uwu emo Loki (and I kinda hate that I have to pause to disclaim that, no, I don't just have a fixation on Loki being depressed for funsies/the aesthetic/whatever); I think that this mindset stems from really complicated places that I'm not sure I can articulate, but I will try.

I view Loki as someone who suffers from a severe inferiority complex, and I feel like it stems from being abandoned as an infant. Loki's life started with a traumatic event and, even if he doesn't remember the event itself, the feelings he experienced stayed in his subconscious. Feelings of loss, of fear, of despair and abandonment, of suffering - these are all feelings that burrowed into his bones and lived there for his entire life, feelings that colored how Loki viewed himself as a person as well as how he compared to the people around him.

Keep in mind that Loki didn't know he was abandoned until the events of Thor 1, obviously. We don't really know how old Loki is, in human years, but I have always assumed that he and Thor were at least adults (not teenagers), maybe the equivalent of early twenties - and the reason I bring that up is because it means Loki made it all the way to adulthood carrying the weight of a trauma that he did not remember or even knew had happened, so to him, there was no real reason for how wrong he felt. There was no explanation for the feelings of loss, of neglect, of fear. So on top of struggling with those feelings, Loki was also burdened with the alienation that comes with wondering why one can't just be like everyone else, why one can't just "snap out" of depression, why one's sense of self-worth has always been lacking.

So imagine what it's like to grow up as Loki. He was traumatized as an infant. The trauma has been with him his entire life, along with the confusion/alienation of not understanding why he feels the way that he does, and then on top of that, his basic personality lends itself toward introspection and isolation, so he likely felt even further removed from Thor and from his peers. Loki's too smart for his own good, and he's got an enormous capacity to feel and I feel like this is a combination that works against him as much as it does for him, bc it probably means he spent a lot of time examining himself and identifying all of his perceived flaws - and then berating himself for said flaws.

People with depression are probably pretty familiar with the bully that lives in your head, the one who is always there to remind you that you're stupid, or ugly, or that nobody likes you, or that you have nothing of value to contribute to anyone, etc. Loki's no different; he's got that bully in his head, too. Add onto this the fact that his brother is literally perfect, that he feels his father doesn't love him (or love him as much), that his interests in things like magic are looked down on in his culture, and that he's a prince (meaning that along with the privilege comes pressure, and being in the public eye, knowing that everyone around him is comparing him to Thor as much as he compares himself to Thor, well.) and you have a total clusterfuck of a mindset, and Loki's been existing inside of that clusterfuck for nearly all of his life.

I always go back to the quote where, when filming I think the vault scene, Kenneth Branagh directs Tom by saying, "This is the moment where the thin steel rod holding your brain together snaps." And it's such a significant moment for Loki bc this is where it all crumbles for him, learning the truth, but I also fixate on the "thin steel rod" part of the quote bc that's not how one would describe a healthy, stable person's mind. The implication, to me, has always been that Loki wasn't that stable to start with due to his general upbringing, his internal struggles, and his personality, so of course the devastation of learning he's adopted, and Jotun, would send him over the edge. One doesn't go from zero to 60; one doesn't fall over the edge unless they were balancing fairly close to it in the first place. And to me, the "thin steel rod" basically equals the aforementioned clusterfuck of a mindset.

THE POINT IS. (Holy shit, I ramble.) This is the foundation on which I'm basing my headcanon that Loki neither values his life nor feels as if he even deserves to live it - bc his default mindset is one of inferiority, of loss, of pain. And I think that going from being a general unstable person pre-canon to being passively suicidal post-canon is a thing that happened because, somewhere between the vault in Thor 1 and the dungeons in TDW, Loki just stopped caring.

Life is exhausting for everyone, but even moreso when your mental load becomes more than you can carry. Loki is exhausted. His experience is that things just keep getting worse and worse for him - he's never been valued, he's always been found wanting. He discovers that he was literally thrown away as an infant, unwanted and left to die, and things haven't gotten much better for him since then. Everything that can go wrong, does go wrong. His plans spin out of control. He's unable to prove his worth and his value and when he is, in fact, rejected, he literally tries to kill himself (only to survive and end up in an even worse situation).

It all just continually goes downhill, and Loki is fucking exhausted. He's done. He has no hope that anything is ever going to change - he will never be valued or even seen, he's unable to connect to anyone, he has no family (aside from Thor, but their relationship is so fraught with pain). As far as he's concerned, his life has been nothing but a waste since he was born and if no one else values it, why should he?

So - passively suicidal. He places no value on his life, and doesn't shy away from situations that could cost him his life. It's possible that the only reason he's not actively suicidal is bc his previous attempt not only failed but led to such a horrible situation that he's probably too afraid to intentionally seek out death again. He doesn't want to fail and end up worse off for it.

And - not that you asked this in particular, but - my biggest disappointment in the series is that none of what I've just written is addressed in a satisfying way (to me). That is, we don't get any real explicit acknowledgement of the trauma of Loki's abandonment as a baby or how that affected his mental health growing up; we don't get to explore how devastated he was to learn of his adoption; we don't ever see him reconcile his ingrained belief that jotuns are monstrous savages with the fact that he is jotun. He says "I betrayed everyone I loved, but I'm different now" and we're supposed to infer what he means without Loki actually articulating why he feels that he's the only one who should be held responsible for all these things that had happened or what "I've changed" even means to him (aside from not betraying Sylvie).

I would have liked to see these things addressed for a lot of reasons, but one of those reasons is that I would want to see how Loki comes to terms with all of his issues and his pain enough that he stops being passively suicidal. We never get to see that; after TDW, the time that passes allows for Loki to kinda chill, resulting in the Ragnarok version, but if there was any real healing or recovering going on, it was happening off-screen, with the audience expected to just go with "yeah Loki was going through it for awhile but he's kinda better now."

Furthermore, much of what I've written here is based on prime Loki's development through TDW, but doesn't account for series Loki's split from that timeline nor the theme of "Lokis survive" that's so prevalent in the series. So I don't think the "passively suicidal" headcanon is really appropriate for series Loki but, at the same time, I'd like to have seen why. I'd like to have seen Loki learning to value his life, or where the "we survive" mindset comes from, since that's not really been a thing before now. (Out of universe, I suspect it comes from the context of Loki just not dying whenever he tries to, but since TDW and IW haven't happened, and Loki didn't intend to survive his fall from the bifrost, framing Loki as an innate survivor doesn't really make sense, but to be fair, I'm just being picky.)

So, yeah. I'm not saying Loki doesn't experience growth or development in the series, I'm just saying that his arc left much unsaid and, furthermore, framing his growth as "wanting a throne to not wanting a throne" without addressing that Loki doesn't actually want the power of the throne, he wants the value and self-worth he associates with the throne, is - well, again, unsatisfying. Not bad, but it leaves viewers like me wanting bc we're cognizant of how much more could have been done.

I ... am going to end this now. This is probably nonsensical and all over the place, so I'm very sorry, and I'm sure this is why I don't get meta-starter asks lmfao bc no one's out here trying to read my dissertation submission for a Ph.D in Loki, but well, sometimes it just be like that.

Thank you for the ask and the opportunity to ramble.

#asks #charlotte replies #loki pokey artichokey #loki series #loki series criticism #loki meta #tw suicidal ideation #tw suicide attempt #tw suicide #tw mental health #tw depression #i spent two fucking hours on this yet i still feel like it's rambly nonsense #i hit stream-of-consciousness at some point and just went with it #and now i'm too lazy to revise #so i'm sorry #this'll probably only get like 10 notes anyway bc that's how it be on tumblr #put effort in and get little validation; put no effort in and everyone loses their minds

144 notes · View notes

pennylaneforthoughts · 3 years

Text

All right the English major in me is coming out to bat, and I can hold it in no longer because my whole darn Honors thesis is on Shakespeare.

So while acknowledging that this is all speculation bc we can't actually know unless Tom and Owen tell us what's up, here's my two cents on the weird Two Gentlemen of Verona thing Tom and Owen evidently have going on.

First of all, y'all should know that it's Hella Weird that this is the play that Owen can quote the first line of. And the reason is that it's Shakespeare's literal worst play. Like not even kidding it's so bad. It's an important play for Shakespeare scholars bc it's his first play, and in it you can see the precursors to his later, much better works like Romeo and Juliet. A sandbox of sorts. But especially in comparison to the rest of his work, it's Really Bad. And because of this, it's not very well known at all, and my Shakespeare professor actively recommended that we not read it for our optional comedy to study.

Let me break it down for y'all.

Basic plot is you've got Valentine and Proteus who have a very homoerotic relationship (if you recall Owen quoting the first line, it's literally Valentine saying "cease to persuade, loving Proteus") but one which is Toxic As Hell, for which Proteus is at fault, stemming from some intense internalized homophobia imo. Valentine leaves Verona, inviting Proteus to come with him, but Proteus is too busy with his fiancée Julia and says no. So off Valentine goes, and he meets the beautiful Silvia and falls in love with her instantly, as you do, but her dad doesn't like it much. Proteus decides he misses his Bro and ditches Julia to go after him. Upon finding Valentine with Silvia, he gets pissed and decides he wants Silvia for himself (tho you could argue this is out of internalized homophobia fueled jealousy) and purposefully gets Silvia's dad to banish Valentine. Sucks to be Proteus tho bc Silvia is Not into him and says as much to a disguised Julia who's followed her deadbeat fiancé and found him with this other girl. Silvia loves Valentine tho so she goes off with Proteus and disguised Julia to go find him where he was banished. Proteus doesn't like this tho and right before they find Valentine, he tries to force himself on her. Thankfully he's stopped by Valentine, but there's a really weird line where Valentine either says "whatever if you want her that bad take her" or "all the love I have for her is yours" depending on how you read it. Either way, it's not great bc it glosses over the whole non-con issue from like 2 minutes ago, Julia also reveals herself and then they go "oh yay we're all here now let's get married" and then Valentine ends up with Silvia and Proteus ends up with Julia.

And like, people have mentioned before that you could technically draw a parallel with Sylvie and Silvia bc their names are similar, and that it's kinda like Loki and Mobius bc Valentine leaves Proteus to go after Silvia, and there's the homoerotic implications for Lokius, but really that's where the similarities stop, and comparing Mobius to Proteus is just an insult to Mobius' character tbh.

If we're gonna draw Shakespeare parallels, we could make a much more compelling argument with Twelfth Night (the m/f twin connection is right there) or even Hamlet or Much Ado About Nothing than with Two Gentlemen, so it doesn't make much sense for Tom and Owen to have this inside joke directly related to the Loki series.

And not only is the play deeply problematic as I've illustrated above, it's also poorly written. It's a bad play y'all. That's why nobody knows it. So there is No Way that of all the Shakespeare plays to want to do, Owen Wilson, who has himself said that he has no real familiarity with the Bard other than a college Shakespeare class, would pick Two Gentlemen as his dream Shakespeare production. It makes exactly zero sense whatsoever. (He'd be much, much more suited for a role like Benedick in Much Ado imo)

We do know, however, that Owen is excellent at improvising and likes joking around and messing with people. So I imagine that rather than being a secret lokius joke, it came into being by way of an interaction along these lines:

Tom: So have you ever played Hamlet?

Owen, shook and kinda laughing: Nah, it's not really my typecast so I've never had the opportunity.

Tom, wanting to be encouraging: Aw I'm sure you'd be great in the role! Though I am curious, if you were to be in any Shakespeare play, what would it be?

Owen, wracking his brain for buried play titles from college like thirty years ago: uhhh Two Gentlemen of Verona, maybe???????

Tom, a Shakespeare nerd who knows the play, suddenly Very concerned but polite: oh,,,, is that so?

Owen, noticing the confusion but deciding it'll be funnier to roll with it: yeah I think it's a really compelling story. One of Shakespeare's finest works if you ask me.

Tom, visibly shaking and in a cold sweat: r-really?,,,??,

Owen, busting up laughing: sskdjskksk no not at all! I know like nothing about Shakespeare, cmon. I was Lightning McQueen! I just vaguely remember reading that play in college.

Tom, sighing in relief: oh thank God I was so worried. That's the worst one!

Owen, amused: is it?

Tom, going into professor mode: well you see--

And so it probably became like a "I'm pretending to be pretentious and cultured" sort of inside joke that played a part in their bonding as coworkers and snuck its way into the documentary bc they thought it'd be funny, and they were right. Tbh the way they talked about it sounded a lot like my and my friends riffing on plays in my Shakespeare class, so I'm inclined to believe that that's what they're doing here.

#This became much longer than I anticipated whoops #But now I want a much ado about nothing lokius AU 👀👀👀👀#Loki #Mobius #Lokius #tom hiddleston #owen wilson #And I guess technically #widdlewow #Though I feel a lil sacreligious tagging that lmaooooooo

100 notes · View notes

thevibraniumveterans · 3 years

Text

I’ve discovered something interesting…

… about the way Loki talks about his mother.

In Thor: The Dark World, we get a little scene where Frigga - through some form of illusionistic sorcery - appears in Loki’s cell in the dungeon to speak with him.

Loki, sardonically: “Odin continues to bring me new friends. How thoughtful.”

Frigga: “The books I sent, did they not interest you?”

Loki: “Is that how I’m to while away for eternity? Reading?”

Frigga: “I’ve done everything in my power to make you comfortable, Loki.”

Loki: “Have you? Does Odin share your concern? Does Thor? It must be so inconvenient, then, asking after me day and night.”

Frigga: “You know full well that it was your actions that brought you here.”

Loki: “My actions? I was merely giving truth to the lie that I’ve been fed my entire life: that I was born to be a king.”

Frigga: “A king? A true king admits his faults. What of the lives you took on Earth?”

Loki: “A mere handful compared to the number that Odin has taken himself.”

Frigga: “Your father-”

Loki, verbally exploding from years of repressed anger, sadness, and a whole host of other emotions: “HE IS NOT MY FATHER!!”

Frigga, after a small pause: “Then am I not your mother?”

Loki, after a sad exhale, “… you’re not.”

Frigga, smiling sadly but knowingly: “You’re always so perceptive about everyone but yourself.”

Loki shakes his head remorsefully, and reaches out to his mother, whose illusion slowly fades away.

In the third episode of the Loki series, we see our titular anti-hero onboard a train, talking to Sylvie, when they have a conversation about Frigga and magic.

Sylvie: “I’m not going to waste my time rooting around for the Tempad when someone taught you fairly decent magic.”

Loki: “… my mother.”

Sylvie, after a contemplative pause: “What was she like?”

Loki, quietly and thoughtfully: “She was, um, a Queen of Asgard. She’s good. Purely decent.”

Sylvie: “Are you sure she’s your mother?”

Loki: “Oh, no, she’s not, actually. I was adopted. Is that a bit of a spoiler for you? I’m sorry about that.”

Sylvie: “No, I knew I was adopted.”

Loki: “What? They told you?”

Sylvie: “…Yeah. Did they not tell you?”

Loki: “No! I mean, I mean, they did, eventually…. Hang on a second. So, tell me, who, tell me about your mother.”

Sylvie: “I barely remember her. Just blips of a dream at this point.”

Loki: “You know, when I was young, she’d do these little bits of magic for me. Like, turn a flower into a frog, or cast fireworks over the water. And it all seemed impossible, but she told me that one day, I’d be able to do it too, because… because I can do anything.” Sylvie nods. “Want to see?” Sylvie nods again, so Loki smiles as he conjures up a miniature version of the fireworks, the kind that his mother used to do for him.

Sylvie: “Not bad.” Loki ends the little show.

Loki: “She was the kind of person who’d want to believe in you.”

Sylvie: “Sounds like she does.”

Loki: “Well, she did.”

I love the contrast between both sets of conversations, because the first one was just before Frigga was murdered. Loki’s attitude toward his mother when he spoke with her, was admittedly cold - expected of someone like him who’d once stated that he’d been nothing more than a mere shadow living in the shade of Thor’s and Odin’s greatness. I don’t have much of a doubt that not just did it break Frigga’s heart to ask her wayward son if he considered her to be his mother, it also broke Loki’s heart to say, “You’re not”.

Which, in a twisted way, is actually true, since Frigga is not Loki’s biological mother. But it’s not so much who created him, but the focus is on who raised him, who looked after him, who clothed him, fed him, raised him, taught him magic, LOVED him the way Odin could never have. When you watch the scene when Loki says, “You’re not,” and just focus on his face in the next half a minute after, he’s shaking his head in remorse, his eyes are downcast, his posture no longer holding in that rage that he’d just released after proclaiming Odin to not be his father, which in the same twisted way is also true.

Loki knew full well that Frigga loved him to the ends of the universe and back, why else would she have sent books down to the dungeon for him? She literally made the place more comfortable for him.

Now, when we get to the series, at which point the episode must’ve taken place roughly not long after Frigga died in the main timeline (which Loki had seen the reel of), Loki spoke of his mother in soft tones, openly and honestly. He did - when Sylvie asks whether Frigga was really his mother - admit, rather matter-of-factly, that, “Oh, no, she’s not, actually. I was adopted.” Here, he doesn’t display any of the hurt and anger, but gives a simple statement, that yes, it’s true, Frigga was not in fact his mother in the sense that she was not his biological mom.

But then, he goes on to tell Sylvie about how Frigga taught him magic when he was young, and that she believed in him. It’s clear to us that Loki was clearly a momma’s boy, because we get to know, through how he speaks of her, how much he still loves his mother, and how much she loved him, up until the very end. Loki reveals that his mother “was the kind of person who’d want to believe” in him, which is what “she did”, confirms Loki. Though he knows that it’s unlikely he’ll ever see his mother again, he speaks of and about her with reverence, respect, and a whole lot of love, tinged with sadness around the edges.

Though Frigga never was, never is, and never will be Loki’s biological mother, she was his mother regardless, in the sense that she raised him as her own son in a way that Odin never did.

Though Frigga could never mend the hole in Loki’s heart, she filled it with so much love and care and attention, not to mention magic.

Though Loki mourned his mother’s death in both the main timeline and in the TVA’s Time Theatre outside of time and space, he spoke highly and fondly of her even though he was not her biological son.

Loki had always loved his mother, because it was clear as day to him that she had always loved him, right from the very beginning, up until the very end.

Though Frigga may have died, her spirit certainly lives on in her beloved son Loki.

Though Loki would always be Laufey’s son by acknowledging his creator, and though he may refuse to admit that he is Odin’s son (which we know he eventually did in his main timeline), Loki - our beloved Prince of Asgard, rightful king of Jotunheim, and God of Mischief to boot - will always and forever be Frigga’s son.

After all…

What is grief if not love persevering?

#thor the dark world #queen frigga #loki laufeyson #loki series #loki episode three #loki spoilers #sylvie laufeydottir #s01e3 #what is grief #if not love persevering #love is #not a dagger #that’s a #terrible metaphor #mother’s love #long text post #analysis

124 notes · View notes

birdbrain90 · 3 years

Text

Raindrops on Roses - A Sylki Fanfic

@swinging-stars-from-satellites (DAMMIT I told you it would make me write Sylki fic xD . This is what I came up with. I didn't do that "I end up in your bed" prompt correctly at ALL, but creative liberties are a thing. This is what I tell myself. It's not TERRIBLE for a 24 hour fic, at any rate. LOL) BASED ON THIS TROPE/PROMPT - "there were two beds but in the middle of the night, you still slip into mine and i don’t complain because you’re sick with a cold/fever because we were running away from the authorities last night and it was pouring rain, and i wake up the next morning and we’re not cuddling or anything, although i wish we were, but we’re facing each other and oh my god, you’re still asleep and i can see every strand of disheveled hair, every freckle, every eyelash, every single detail of your face, illuminated by the 6 am sunrise from the molding motel window behind you, is this love?" The rain hadn't ceased all day, and they wondered if it ever would. Loki and Sylvie had been running all morning and afternoon, trying to cover as much ground as possible before their next jump. They had taken to apocalypse hopping, because two Lokis, separate entities fulfilling the same cosmic role, could not exist together on the timeline. Neither of them found themselves satisfied with that answer, so they ran, and ran, and ran some more.

This time though, neither was alone. It had become fun for both of them, ducking and dodging order while chaos ensued around them. It wasn't much of a permanent life, but it fit somehow.

Finally they came upon a motel. It didn't take long for Sylvie to enchant the receptionist, procuring a room for the night.

"Some day you will have to teach me how to do it." Muttered Loki as he peeled his sopping wet jacket off.

"It's freezing. This weather is absolute shit." Looking like a drowned rat indeed, Loki smiled and waved his wrist, conjuring sleeping clothes for both of them. "Thanks. I'm going to take a shower."

There was an odd pause before she left. She wanted to ask if he wanted to join, and he wanted to ask if she wanted company. Neither had the courage, so the moment was lost on both.

When Sylvie emerged from the shower, her cheeks were blazing red. She flopped down on her bed, looking over at Loki who laid on his bed reading a book.

"My turn?" He muttered, not looking up from the pages. Eventually he got up and headed to do the same thing. When he also emerged clean and dry, he spied Sylvie asleep on her bed. Smiling, he raised his hands, grunting a little as a green glow lit his hands, and an unseen force lifted her into the air, while the same force prepared her bed, tucking her gently into it. "Goodnight, Sylvie darling." He smiled, secretly terrified that she might hear that last part.

Sylvie awoke some time later, shivering so hard her teeth were chattering. She was...cold? That was unusual enough on its own. Every movement seemed to make her colder. She sat up and looked over at Loki, sound asleep in the bed next to hers. He didn't seem to be in any sort of distress. There was no way someone as sturdy as her would fall ill, but that's certainly how she felt. Maybe it was from being soaking wet all day…

Sylvie continued shivering in bed, debating going and taking another shower when something disrupted her thoughts.

"Sylvie…" came a whisper from the bed next to her. She rolled over and stood, throwing her shivering legs over the side of the bed.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you. I can’t sleep.” When she received no response, she stood and padded over to his bed. He was very clearly still sleeping. Why was he whispering her name in his sleep? “Loki…?” She called.

“Hmm?” Came his groggy reply. His eyes didn’t open, and she honestly wondered whether the oaf was even conscious or not.

“Loki I’m freezing. I can’t sleep. I dunno what’s wrong.” She shivered, immediately missing her blankets.

Loki said nothing, and his eyes still did not open. He took a sharp breath in through his nose, and clumsily peeled back the blanket, wordlessly inviting her into his bed. Sylvie faltered, not knowing what to think, but also not wanting to wait long enough for him to actually wake up and see her embarrassment if he was indeed still sleeping. Slowly, she climbed into the bed next to him and pulled the covers back up over herself. Immediately she was greeted with the smell of his skin. Sweet and spicy all at once. She was frustrated by how intoxicating it all was.

They’d grown close over the time they’d been running, but they were both too cripplingly shy to make any sort of advance. Sylvie didn’t understand it at all. She was no stranger to seducing in order to get what she wanted. Information, a drink or ten, relief from needs, it all came easily to her. Yet somehow here, in front of this beautiful man who had stolen her heart, it was way too real, and she felt reduced to a stuttering teenager. She huffed, rolling away from him in an attempt to forget his sleeping face. She had also completely forgotten the fact that she had been shivering from head to toe just minutes prior. Her quaking had ceased, in favor of warm, restful sleep.

The word “cozy” wasn’t a word Loki normally included in his vocabulary. He’d grown up surrounded by princely comforts, with more brought to him if only he asked. But cozy? That was a new one, and when he awoke the following morning it was certainly at the forefront of his mind. He hummed, stretching lazily and extending his arm. His entire body stiffened in fear when his arm rested on top of something soft and curvy. His breath halted in his throat, and he feared he might choke on it as his eyelids flew open to reveal Sylvie sleeping peacefully next to him. His eyes darted under the blanket, relieved and somehow disappointed at the same time when he saw they were both still clothed. When had she moved into his bed? He certainly remembered falling asleep separately last night. Having to consciously breathe in and out, he tried to relieve himself of some of the rigidity in his body, save for the painfully obvious spot.

Shaking his head, he steeled his nerves. He wasn’t sure exactly when he’d been reduced to a terrified teenager. He looked over at the woman lying near him, his mouth falling open in quiet reverence when a sunbeam poked through the window and illuminated her face. Every gentle crease in her face, the swell of her lips, the long lashes that concealed the eyes he found himself staring into for way too long, it was all too much. He gasped, averting his eyes for fear his heart would leap right out of his chest. He stiffened again when he felt her shift, inching barely closer to him. He wanted to reach out and caress her face, the fear of waking her and ruining this moment overpowering his desires in that moment.

Loki wasn’t sure how long he had laid there, attempting to commit her sleeping face to memory. Her face while she was awake was its own kind of beautiful. He loved the way her nose would scrunch up at certain jokes, the way she would roll her eyes at him throughout the day. When they would get into trouble, her almost inhuman snarl set his blood aflame. He felt he could do anything while the heat of her battle rage encompassed him. Sleeping, though, she was completely different. Her face was peaceful, something he suspected she hadn’t had much of while she was awake. That thought, combined with the tranquility of the moment brought tears to his eyes. He wanted to give her a life of peace. Of stability. But he feared they might never get that chance.

Sniffling quietly, he decided to damn the consequences, and he reached out and brought a hand to her cheek. She did not move under his ghostly touch. He drew his thumb down the bridge of her nose, gliding it under her eyes, memorizing every hill and valley on her face. Moving a bit closer to her, he continued, his desire for her to know how he felt only increasing with physical contact. He removed his hand from her face, sliding it down her arm and eventually resting on her hip. Loki would never be able to explain where his sudden hubris came from, but he decided he would risk the angry palm that would surely fly at his face before too long. Butterfly kisses. Feather light touches of his lips that he was sure would wake her when she felt his quivering breaths on her face. He began at her forehead, kissing as much of her face as he could cover, before finally resting on her lips. He lingered there a bit longer, savoring the feeling. They had kissed before, in the citadel, and hadn’t seemed to find time for it since. He had been able to sneak a kiss on her cheek, or her knuckles every so often, but they hadn’t been able to find time to lay together and explore each other properly.

His heart bounced into his throat when he saw her eyelids bunch up, and finally flutter open. As soon as they did, she gasped and lurched backward.

“Loki! I-I… Uh….”

“Shh…” He crooned, stretching his hand out. “It’s okay. It’s only me, after all.”

“I-I… I was really cold last night. You pulled back the blanket so I… I just…”

“I have no memory of that.” He chuckled, before his face dissolved into concern. “But you? Cold? Are you okay?” He reached out a hand, pressing the back of it to her forehead. He shrugged, feeling no difference in her normal temperature. “You feel okay now. Likely from being out in the rain all day.

“Yeah…” She laid back down, still facing him. Loki followed suit, letting his head hit the pillow once more. They stared awkwardly for a while, fumbling around in their own heads and letting their cheeks darken several shades before someone spoke again. It was Sylvie who spoke first, looking down and counting the wrinkles in the sheets. Anything but meeting his eyes. “Loki…?”

“Yes?”

“We’re in a bed.” Oh that was dumb. Of all the things she’d ever said in her life, that had to be the dumbest.

“Okay? Yes. Yes we are.” She heard him chuckle, ending with a snort that made her want to reach out and smack him. “Brilliant observation, darling.” That word slipped out, and she saw fear creep into his eyes for a brief moment. What he didn’t know is how that one word flipped her stomach and filled it with butterflies.

“Idiot. That’s not what I mean. I mean…” What did she mean? She had no idea. “I want…”

“Yes…?”

“I want it to be like this. Just like this. Default. You and me.” The shit eating grin had not left his face, and she wasn’t sure if she wanted to jump on him and strangle it off, or kiss it off. Maybe both. She wondered if he’d be into both.

“Of course. Next time, enchant the receptionist into giving us a key to a room with only one bed.” He laughed, grunting as she finally decided to reach out and shove his chest. He did notice, however, that after she was done shoving him, her hand lingered. He took the opportunity to place his hand over hers, urging her to feel the heart that beat only for her. “I’m teasing you. No need to get violent.” He smiled, his face melting into lovesickness. “I would love nothing more than to wake up with you in my arms every morning, wherever we are, at the end of a thousand worlds I only want to feel your skin and your heart entwined with mine. I lo-....” He froze, the phrase that threatened to leave his lips and the possibility that she might reject it cooled the flame in his gut. “Wh-what I mean to say is I…Um….Y-you see, I’ve thought about this quite a bit... I-I lov-...” He sighed, frustrated. “Can I just kiss you instead? Words are hard when they’re all for you.”

She nodded. His heart sang at her quiet acceptance as he joined his lips with hers. Eventually as their clothing began to fall away piece by piece, the drab motel around them became a luminous place of worship. The world could have ended around them and neither would have cared. This was enough, it was glorious, and it was all their own. Whatever came their way, they’d figure it out somehow, and they’d figure it out together. (This will be cross posted on my Archive of our Own account, Wonderchild90. So if you happen to see it there, that's me! It's not stolen. Oh but also if you enjoy sickening fanfics for these two dumb demigods, come have a look! Shameless self plugging. LOL.)

#pro sylki #sylvie x loki #love is a dagger #loki 2021 #lovedaggers

35 notes · View notes

sylviesslokis · 3 years

Text

"But I'm not you."

We all remember Sylvie's iconic line in the Loki finale, but what does it mean?

I am by no means an expert and this is all my own speculation, so don't take me too seriously here. Now, let's begin:

(Contains spoilers for episodes 3-6)

First off, Sylvie says "I'm not you" in 1.03 ("Lamentis"). This is the first example of the recurring "I'm not you" line. In this episode, I believe she is referencing her not being 'a Loki' in that she is her own person and no longer considers herself a Loki Variant while discussing her plan to take down the TVA. ("I'd never have done that." "Yeah, well, I'm not you.")

Later, in 1.05 ("Journey Into Mystery") when she decides they're going to enchant Alioth together, she responds to Loki's "I don't know how!" with "You do, because we're the same!"

Why would she have said this? I think it's because she is acknowledging that she is, technically, a Loki variant and that's why our Loki should be able to enchant Alioth with her (because they're both Lokis and therefore have the same powers). Maybe it was meant to be a motivator of sorts. Loki's been impressed with her magic before, so maybe she was telling him that he could do amazing things too.

They succeed in enchanting Alioth, of course, bringing us to 1.06: "For All Time. Always."

Our lovely protagonists battle it out with all manner of sharp objects (and a bit of magic), then they end up kissing after a tearful speech from Loki. They break apart, and Sylvie utters the words "But I'm not you" before blasting Loki backwards into an alternate version of the TVA, leaving her free to kill He Who Remains without any further interruption. What I think that final line means is that she both is and is NOT 'a Loki.' From what I understood while rewatching these episodes, she was completing a phrase: "We're the same, but I'm not you." Loosely translated into a more easily understood statement (from my perspective): "I'm like you, but you're not like me," meaning that, while they are similar in that they are both technically Loki variants, Sylvie considers herself more of her own person ("That's not who I am anymore. I'm Sylvie now.") rather than some alternate version of Loki.

ALTERNATIVELY, she could have said it in response to Loki's "I don't want a throne. I just want you to be okay." speech. Loki was so concerned for Sylvie's wellbeing that he was willing to give up everything (a throne, power over the timeline, etc) for her, while Sylvie was only concerned with killing He Who Remains. It could have been a "You're more worried about my wellbeing than your own glory, but I'm not." Either way, I don't think that the meaning could be considered truly concrete. It can be interpreted any which way you want it to be, at least until there is more context given in the show itself.

#loki spoilers #loki tv #loki #loki 2021 #loki show #loki series #loki laufeyson #sylvie laufeydottir #sylvie #sylki #loki ep 3 #loki ep 5 #loki ep 6 #loki discussion #long post

45 notes · View notes

kim-ruzek · 3 years

Text

she drew in her first breath out of what love meant

Summary: But when she stood, Kim felt a flood of water and her eyes widened, as she quickly realised what had happened. That the pain wasn’t just back pain, that the Braxton Hicks was actually contractions. Having get so caught up in the possibility that her baby will be a bit late, Kim just accepted that this was fake labour signs.

Kim and Adam's daughter makes a slightly unexpected appearance. Set in an au of s7, where Kim never miscarried rice grain.

Warnings: Childbirth.

Word Count: 1.4k

Read on AO3

Notes: Yesterday, I became an aunt again to the most beautiful niece in the world (seriously, everyone. She is adorable. No, I am not biased, I am just being objective and stating the truth). And so, I'm fully in my baby feels, and what better way to celebrate her appearance with a burzek fix-it fic.

So this is her welcome to the world fic. Her brothers got artwork, but she's getting a more mentally stable aunt so I think she wins. And in a way, I'm happy it isn't the crack fic I'm going to write 🌸🌸🌸

Enjoy!

Everyone said that it’s not often you get pregnant on birth control.

Everyone said it’s not often exes can be friends.

Everyone said it’s not often you can be comfortable co parenting and sharing a home with said ex.

Kim has been greeted with surprise and almost pandering tut tuts when she explained about her and Adam all through this pregnancy. She had almost came to expect it. Which is why, when the doctor said that it probably won’t do anything, and that only a few women actually ever have their water break naturally, and that women tend to have their first baby late, Kim really should’ve expected that she’d be one of the exceptions.

They had gone to the doctor early that morning. Kim is edging closer and closer to her due date, Alice being more and more active inside her. The doctor wasn’t too concerned with thinking that she’ll go into labour soon, repeating that first babies tend to take their time. Kim was fine with this. She’s uncomfortable, yes, big and feeling very much like she’s going to explode. But as the due date drew closer, she was becoming more and more emotional at the thought that her daughter wouldn’t be inside her, that she couldn’t protect her like that anymore.

On the way home, they stopped to grab—extra—breakfast, Kim being hungry again and Adam can always eat. Alice was making herself known, kicking and turning, Adam resting his hand on her belly whenever they were stopped in traffic, a smile on his face.

Kim was beginning to think that maybe people were right about one thing, that maybe they won’t be able to co parent. Not platonically, anyway. His smile twisted something in her and all she wanted to do was stroke her fingers across his jaw.

She settled for just entwining her hand with his.

The pregnancy, seeing their daughter grow inside her, preparing for her arrival, it has brought them closer. Especially when the hormones hit. There has been moments when the air between them is filled with that tension, the love between them palatable. But they’re not crossing that line.

In a very unlike them sort of way, they had the conversation about it. Both agreeing that they can see them doing this, having a relationship, being a couple raising their baby. But communication and keeping together has never been there strong point, Alice being why they’ve only just started to be successful in that way. And mixing up a baby in their problems, it’s not something they want to do. They were both messed up by their parents and the one thing they want is for Ally to be okay.

So they made an agreement to wait, to reassess when Alice is here, when they’ve got past those first months where even the strongest couples can fall apart in.

It doesn’t stop them absent-mindedly seeking each other out most of the time, always looping their hands around each other and cuddling on the couch and playing with each other’s hair. It doesn’t stop them, when Kim’s hormones turn to a hundred, from being intimate. And before Kim got so big, before sleeping is so uncomfortable for her she can barely stand having the cover on her, let alone another warm body lying beside her, it didn’t stop them from sleeping in the same bed.

They’re just friends, having a child, and are very much in love with each other.

It was after they grabbed the extra breakfast when Kim’s back starting to ache. At this point, she’s used to having aches, so she just tried to adjust herself in a more comfortable position.

Adam had noticed and when they got home he told her just to be comfy on the sofa, so that’s what she did.

The back pain was persistent, and Kim started getting her Braxton Hicks again. The first time she got them, Adam freaked out and called Sylvie—the blonde very patiently explaining it to him again. Now, Kim didn’t think to tell him, them being used to this, instead just ran her hand over her belly.

They had a few visitors stop by, to say hello to Kim now she can no longer go up the stairs to Intelligence. Jay and Hailey were first, then Trudy. They asked Trudy to be their daughter’s grandmother and she had already taken the role to heart. Mouch, too, being their baby’s honorary grandfather. He didn’t come to visit with Trudy, being on shift. Then, finally, Kevin came, Jordan accompanying him.

The Atwaters stayed longer than anyone else, but then they also had left—it once again just being Kim and Adam. And then it was just Kim, Adam getting the message that something they ordered for the baby was in the shop.

The pain in her back had tripled in intensity, and Kim found herself having to get up, needing to walk a little to see if that would help. She thought she’d walk to the bathroom, having to need to pee like she always does now.

But when she stood, Kim felt a flood of water and her eyes widened, as she quickly realised what had happened. That the pain wasn’t just back pain, that the Braxton Hicks was actually contractions. Having get so caught up in the possibility that her baby will be a bit late, Kim just accepted that this was fake labour signs.

Adam left, saying he’ll be back within the hour. Kim had been prepped that labour is long, and even though they had been told to hear to the hospital if her water broke, she waited for Adam to be back. She could’ve called him, but she didn’t want him to rush and get into an accident.

It’s only an hour, Kim had thought.

And forty minutes later, Kim kneeling on her bathroom floor, in intense pain, she regretted that thought. Because of course this would happen. That on top of everything, apparently Alice wanted to make a quicker appearance.

“Hey, darlin’! I’m back,” Adam calls to her and she could’ve cried in relief that he’s finally here; Kim had left her phone in the living room when the contractions hit, hard.

“Adam!” Kim calls back to him, not caring how urgent and distressed her voice sounded. Adam was instantly in the bathroom.

“Kim? Kim, are you okay?” He says as he gets there.

“I’m in labour,” She tells him, although as she looks at his face, she can tell he’s already gathered that. She must be a mess, on the floor, hot and sweaty, crying. But he doesn’t look like he’s even bothered, the shock fading fast and he’s leaping into action.

Adam kneels beside her, softly stroking back her hair, laying a kiss on her forehead. “It’s okay, darlin’. I’m here now.”

After her comforts her, indicating for her to take his hand as another contraction comes, Adam is fishing his phone out of his pocket, calling for an ambulance. Kim’s too far in to even bother wondering if he can drive her, that it’s better for Alice to come in their bathroom with towels all around them rather than in his car.

Although, both would prefer if she didn’t come before the ambulance.

It’s two minutes later Adam’s phone lights up with a text. We just got the call to your address!! Is Kim alright?

It reassured Kim—and Adam, really—that Sylvie is the paramedic who’s coming, them needing that familiar face at this scary, new time in their lives.

Kim’s labour was painful, intense, but short. Alice appears before the ambulance does, Adam and Kim staring in wonder and amazement at their new born daughter.

Adam made a joke that he’s glad he bothered Sylvie with so many questions, as he expertly wrapped up Ally, hugging Kim as she hugged their daughter. She’s still connected, and Kim still needs to deliver the placenta, and luckily it’s only two minutes later when Sylvie is here, and they greet the paramedic with a smile.

“Your goddaughter was a little impatient,” Adam says to her and Kim smiles at him, nosing into him slightly as she does it, love in her heart.

“Just like her father.” As if to prove that point, Adam leans down and gently kisses her, not caring what they agreed or that Sylvie is there. All that matters is them, is Alice, is the love they share; the love Alice is born into.

It isn't the perfect birth story. But nothing about their story was, imperfect relationship, imperfect conception, imperfect family. And that makes it all that more beautiful, that despite the imperfections, it is perfection without a doubt.

That Alice, and the love that surrounds her, love pure, whole and unselfish, is what defines that, redefines what it means to love, to live, their daughter the perfect amongst the imperfections.

#burzek #adam ruzek #kim burgess #kim burgess x adam ruzek #chicago pd #burzek fic #chicago pd fanfiction #ree writes #ree's.writing

29 notes · View notes

lightsupinthenorth · 3 years

Text

Damn it, I’m calling you mine

Read on AO3

When Alternate-Mobius (as Loki has taken to calling the Mobius from this timeline in his head) comes to get him out of his cell and lead him to one of the interrogation rooms for the umpteenth time in however long it is he has been stuck in this cursed timeline, Loki lets himself be dragged there without protesting.

Protesting got old fairly quickly, considering it accomplished nothing at all. It doesn’t even get on the nerves of the TVA agents and hunters as it did in the timeline Loki left against his will.

Alternate-Mobius’ grip on his forearm is firm, firmer than it usually is. As if he were afraid Loki was going to make a run for it. As if Loki were stupid enough to think it would be of any use, after all this time. Loki would be insulted if he could muster enough energy for such an emotion.

As soon as they’re inside the interrogation room, Alternate-Mobius locks the door behind them. That’s new, too. Loki’s eyebrows raise slightly, but Loki doesn’t question Alternate-Mobius. What is even the point? He’ll know soon enough what the man is trying to do. Probably.

Alternate-Mobius fiddles with his TemPad for a few seconds and a familiar orange portal opens in front of them.

“Follow me.”

Loki nods, ready to obey, but Alternate-Mobius doesn’t move. Instead, he opts to stare at Loki with a frown on his face.

“Really? You’d follow me just like that? You’re not even going to question it?”

It’s Loki’s turn to frown. Why would Alternate-Mobius ask such a useless question? Has he yet to register how Loki’s fire has died out ages ago?

He shrugs.

“Okay then, let’s go…”

Loki swears he hears Alternate-Mobius mumble “what the fuck have they done to him?”, but he doesn’t have time to think about it any further before he’s pulled by Alternate-Mobius through the time-portal.

Before Loki can blink, he’s in a living-room with Alternate-Mobius by his side. All he can focus on apart from that is his own confusion.

He hadn’t known what to expect, but he hadn’t been expecting something this benign.

“Where are we?”

“Oh, so you still have some questions then. Thank God, you had me worried for a second over there.”

Loki, instead of unpacking what Alternate(?)-Mobius just said, glares at him until he relents.

“We’re at my flat, it’s a long story, I’ll explain everything later. First, tell me if you’re okay.”

His gaze travels the length of Loki’s body, as if he’s assessing damage, and then he’s staring right into his eyes. Maybe he’s searching for the damage in his soul, then. There’s a lot to find, without a doubt.

The concern that radiates off of the man brings a realisation to life in Loki.

“Mobius?”

Of course, it’s Mobius. Alternate-Mobius is also Mobius. But what Loki is really asking is “are you my Mobius?” Because that’s how he thinks of the first version of Mobius he got to meet. He can’t ask that, though. Mobius couldn’t possibly react to such blatant (and misplaced) possessiveness in a positive manner.

“Yes.”

Loki wants to take the simple answer at face value, but he has to be sure. He has to be sure he’s got this right. He couldn’t cope if he accepted this as true only to have his fragile hope ripped away from him later.

Sylvie betrayed him, sending him to an alternate timeline where everything that had become familiar to him at the TVA was here and not here at the same time. It had been torture. Especially seeing Alternate-Mobius constantly. The other version of Mobius only served to remind Loki of what – of whom – he had lost.

“How do I know you’re telling the truth?”

It’s not comfortable, being on this side of lies. Loki has a lot of experience as a liar and as the one being lied to. He far prefers the first configuration, it has to be said.

“What would I gain by taking you here and lying about which version of me I am?”

“Seriously Mobius, now is not the time to answer a question with another question.”

Loki is dead on his feet. He cannot fathom how he manages to stay standing. He fears it will not last much longer.

“I… I don’t know. Ask me something only your Mobius would know.”

Loki blinks a few times, trying to come to terms with this Mobius (whichever he is) saying “your Mobius” like this. Like it’s easy. Like it’s an evidence.

It turns out that Loki worried for nothing, earlier, when he kept himself from asking if this Mobius was his.

After a small eternity, Loki focuses on Mobius’ request instead of on this insignificant (but not for him) detail.

“How did we find out Sylvie was hiding in Haven Hills, Alabama?”

Loki could have asked Mobius a lot of things, but this question seems like a good option. No one knows about this but them. Loki doubts Mobius put it in the reports or mentioned it to anyone, because it’s just a detail, a clue that led them to Sylvie. It doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things. But Loki remembers it, and he’d bet his Mobius would too. The elation they felt when they reached their goal is not something that can be forgotten easily, after all. At least, Loki hopes not.

“We found out because you’re clever and we make a great team, but I don’t see how that’s gonna convince you I’m your Mobius.”

Loki feels winded by Mobius’ words. The praise, the acknowledgment of their partnership, and the “your Mobius” (for the second time in a matter of minutes). However, he can’t let himself lose his focus.

“That’s very nice of you to compliment me, and we do make a rather spectacular team. But I’m asking you about the clue which led us to the right location.”

“Oh, you mean Kablooie?”

As soon as Loki registers the words, his knees buckle and he might have fallen down if Mobius weren’t there to steady him. He extends his arms and Loki instantly grabs them. His heart is beating so fast he’d fear a heart attack if he were human.

“It’s really you.”

Loki hears his own voice crack with relief, and his eyes fill with tears.

“It’s really me.”

Loki didn’t need the confirmation, but it is so on brand for Mobius to give it to him anyway that Loki gets the impulse to throw his arms around him and bury his face in his neck. He tries to resist the impulse for a mere second before giving up entirely and engulfing his Mobius in a (perhaps overly) tight hug.

Mobius wraps his arms around Loki in return, hugging him back. That’s when the tears begin to fall in earnest. Before he knows it, Loki is sobbing uncontrollably in Mobius’ embrace. It’s most undignified and he’s probably ruining Mobius’ shirt, but Loki’s too far gone to care. Anyway, Mobius has seen most of his life when he was working for the TVA, and Loki’s done his fair share of embarrassing things. This is not the worst one, by far.

Being vulnerable is still difficult for him, but he has no control over himself right now, so vulnerability is the only way to go.

Mobius has an armful of crying god, and he’s taking it in stride if he does say so himself. He’s been looking for Loki for so long, he’s been through so much to find him that he’s prepared to accept anything Loki throws at him now that they’re finally reunited.

“There, there. It’s going to be okay now.”

Mobius continues to whisper reassurances in Loki’s ear until Loki’s sobs subside. Mobius is loath to break their embrace, but they can’t possibly stay like this much longer considering Loki has looked on the verge of keeling over ever since he got up from the floor of his cell. When he saw him, Mobius had to make a conscious effort to reign in a gasp (the hunters guarding Loki’s cell would have found that mightily suspicious coming from the Mobius he was then pretending to be). Loki is thinner, there are bags under his eyes, and his skin has taken a blueish tint which, rather than being reminiscent of his origins, looks sickly. Now that Loki’s finally safe, Mobius wants nothing more than to take care of him and nurse him back to health.

“We should probably sit down. Would that be alright?”

Mobius can feel Loki nod, but Loki makes no move to separate himself from him.

Okay. Mobius can work around that.

He slowly walks them to the couch without letting go of Loki. They fall on it rather gracelessly, and Loki immediately rearranges himself so he’s lying down with his head face down on Mobius’ lap and one of his hand gripping his knee. He wishes Loki would let him see his face, but it certainly isn’t the time for requests.

Mobius passes the fingers of his left hand through Loki’s messy hair and Loki shivers against him.

“Is this okay?”

Loki’s only reply is a hum. Mobius interprets it as acquiescence, so he repeats the motion again, and again, and again. To comfort himself as much as Loki.

“Do you want something to drink? Or eat?”

Loki’s grip on Mobius’ knee tightens and he whimpers. Mobius’ stomach drops.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong?”

“I… I’m fine. Just… can we stay here for a while?” Loki’s voice is hoarse and tentative, as if he were expecting Mobius to turn him down. As if it were a credible outcome. Preposterous.

“Of course, anything you want. But, please let me know if you need anything else, alright?”

Loki hums again, and Mobius goes back to playing with his hair.

It must be hours before either of them speaks again. Loki’s turned around by now, so he’s facing Mobius while still resting his head on his lap.

“Do you have a bathtub?”

“I do.”

“I could go for a bath… But…”

He’s reluctant to voice his desires. He’s been attached to Mobius as a barnacle to a rock for longer than he can tell, and Mobius must be tired of him by now. Maybe he’s been tired during this entire display of neediness and has only tolerated it for Loki’s sake. Mobius is decent enough that it doesn’t sound particularly far-fetched.

“But what? Go on.”

“Would you… would you mind staying with me while I’m in the bath?”

“Sure.”

Mobius looks unphased, but Loki still needs to ask:

“Are you sure it’s no bother? I know I’m being clingy and…”

Mobius interrupts him:

“Rest assured, you’re only the one clinging to me because you beat me to it. I don’t want to be apart from you anymore than you want to be apart from me.”

Loki frowns, as if facing a puzzle he can’t quite solve.

“Really?”

“Of course. Why do you think I looked for you for months?”

And it makes sense, from an objective point of view. It’s a wonder Loki can’t wrap his head around it.

“Oh” is all he has to say.

“Yeah, oh.”

Loki will wonder later how exactly Mobius managed to rescue him. He’s not strong enough to deal with that conversation at the moment.

“Come on, let’s get that bath running.” Mobius says, sitting up straighter.

Loki gets the message and pulls himself up. He only loses physical contact with Mobius for a handful of seconds before he reaches for his hand and slide his fingers between Mobius’.

They walk to the bathroom hand in hand and Mobius only lets go when Loki has to undress. Mobius looks away until he’s in the bath, hidden by the bubbles. It’s a sweet, if useless (Mobius probably saw Loki naked in countless occurrences on the TVA tapes), gesture.

Loki would ask Mobius to join him if he had the courage. He can’t find it in himself. He’s been bold enough as it is. Besides, it would definitely cross the line. To be honest with himself, he’s not sure this line exists anymore, but he ought to pretend it still does. For Mobius’ sake, if not for his own.

“Can I wash your hair?”

The prospect of Mobius’ gentle hands back in his hair is a pleasant one, to say the least. So, Loki immerses himself in the bath to wet his hair and comes back up, before replying:

“Please, be my guest”, trying for a teasing smile that probably comes out looking wrong.

Mobius returns Loki’s fond smile, relieved to finally see a positive emotion displayed on this beautiful face.

He grabs his bottle of shampoo from the edge of the bathtub and squeezes some of it into his palm. It’s cheap stuff, with a cheap artificial apple scent. Surely not up to Loki’s standards. However, Mobius doesn’t reckon he’ll care after his forced stay in the Alternate-TVA.

When he starts rubbing the shampoo into Loki’s hair, Loki shivers again, and then moans. Mobius puts the reaction in a corner of his brain so he can examine it later. It might be a thing.

Mobius takes his time (which is to say, he takes far more time than is necessary), before he finally requests:

“Bend forward and close your eyes for me, please.”

Loki complies without a second thought, and warmth spread inside Mobius at the display of trust.

“Good boy.” Mobius says it without thinking, as he’s reaching for the hand shower.

Loki tenses up, and Mobius instantly regrets the words. They’re out, though, there’s no calling them back.

Thankfully, before Mobius can go into a full-blown panic caused by his own stupidity, Loki relaxes again, even though his breathing is now laboured.

That’s quite a lot to unpack there. Mobius will make sure to come back to it in the future. Until then, he focuses on rinsing Loki’s hair without making a mess. He then wrings the excess water out of it as gently as he can and grabs a towel from the rack attached to the wall.

He hands it to Loki and looks away again to give him some semblance of privacy. He hears Loki get up and say:

“It’s okay, you can look. I don’t mind.”

Mobius should decline, but he’s too weak. It’s so hard to not keep his eyes on Loki constantly when he has just got him back.

So, Mobius looks at him, and instantly notices Loki’s lower torso is covered in bruises. They’re stark against Loki’s skin, which is now back to its usual paleness, sans blueish tint.

Mobius must have visibly reacted, though he’s not aware of it, because Loki takes a glance down his own body and flinches.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think…”

“Don’t apologize. Not for that.”

Loki’s mouth clicks shut.

Once Loki’s dressed in a T-shirt and sweatpants (both black, thankfully) that he borrowed from Mobius, he brushes his teeth with a spare toothbrush.

Then, Mobius manages to talk him into eating something and having a cup of herbal tea (camomile), even though it ruins the point of the aforementioned toothbrushing.

What would he not do to appease Mobius and keep him from worrying? Loki prefers not to know.

They retire to bed soon after that, tangling together under Mobius’ fluffy comforter. Loki’s about to fall asleep, lulled by the repetitive motion of Mobius’ fingers running lines on his back, when Mobius speaks:

“I… I know I should let you rest before broaching this topic but… I won’t be able to think about anything else all night if I don’t ask…”

Loki’s tempted to tell him to spit it out, but he refrains, letting Mobius continue at his own rhythm.

“The other me… is he the one who, you know… the bruises?”

“No. He wasn’t particularly nice, but he was never outright cruel to me.” That much could not be said about many other agents of the Alternate-TVA, but Loki refuses to get into that. “Nevertheless, he was… wrong in so many ways.”

Mobius’ hand stops moving up and down his back.

“How so?”

“He was... different. He hated Josta, he didn’t care about jet skis, he was right-handed… He was cold, warier of me than you were, and a bigger stickler for the rules. He… he just wasn’t you.”

His Mobius was everything this other Mobius wasn’t to Loki. He was trustworthy. He brought him hope. Because he had seen Loki, he knew almost everything that could be known about him, and still he believed he could be someone good. The other Mobius had not witnessed any of Loki’s numerous lies and betrayals, and still he trusted him far less than his Mobius did despite every piece of evidence proving he should not.

Loki can’t comprehend the undeserved trust Mobius has for him, but he is grateful it exists.

“He sounds like a jackass.”

Loki lets out a teary laugh.

“He was. Thank you for rescuing me from him.”

“You’re very welcome. I needed it as much as you did, anyway.”

“You’ll tell me how you did it, right? Tomorrow?”

“Anything you want”, Mobius says for the second time that day.

And, by the Norns, does Loki want. He wants so much.

He raises his head from Mobius chest and places his lips on his. He keeps it brief, pulling back before Mobius has time to react. The line is crossed, annihilated. What can Loki say? He’s never been good at denying himself what he wants.

“Was that okay?”

Mobius exhales slowly, his body going lax after tensing up from the surprise.

“More than.”

“Good.”

They stop talking, then. Loki falls asleep in a matter of minutes, hopeful for the first time since Sylvie pushed him through a time-portal to get rid of him. Things are still a mess, but there’s a slight chance they’re going to be fine and, for now, that’s enough.

Thanks for reading ;

#Loki #Mobius #Lokius #fanfiction #hurt and comfort #Loki spoilers

44 notes · View notes

nildespirandum · 3 years

Note

What are your thoughts on the Loki series? I really wanted to like it, but I found Loki’s characterization disappointing, honestly.

Ok, even though I feel a little bit like you tossed a live grenade onto my lap with this question I am going to answer it, especially now that the fandom war seems to have entered the cold war phase. I have friends in both armies and respect all of them, if I agree with them on all points or not.

Just remember, you asked for this, because I have been thinking about this for a long time now.

Because unlike most of the people discussing the series I neither loved it and thought it was amazing and great, nor did I hate it and think it was terrible and devastating and miserable. My view of Loki is not terribly concerned with his dignity, but it is also not comfortable with his being treated as inept so many situations, which is a big part of why I fall down in the middle about the show.

There are two over arching themes in the show that I find fascinating. The idea of the metaphor and the idea of every character in the show being a villain.

The problem - again, this is strictly my deeply subjective opinion - is that taking a twelve episode show concept that wants to consider deep ideas and mashing it into six episodes because of Covid and because Marvel needed that season to have certain moving parts to set up for the next phase was never going to work out right. That they managed to come up with anything coherent under those circumstances is borderline a miracle. But taking a twelve episode saunter and turning into a six episode speed run nuance will be lost.

For instance about villainy and the idea that every villain is a hero in their own mind (which is certainly the case with Sylvie, with the rank and file of the TVA, and with HWRs) is definitely something the show wants to examine. It never has time. All of that gets crammed into the end of episode four, a little bit of five, and then six. That only Loki and HWRs recognize they have done villainous things (I am not going to get into Loki's role as a 'villain' because that needs more space than even I am willing to go into here), is also interesting to me, and again, never gets dealt with.

Then there are the metaphors. So many, many metaphors. Metaphors for love. Metaphors for self-acceptance. Metaphors for the cold, unrelenting cruelty of time and what it steals from us. Metaphors for metaphors. Basically, I think the show runners sometimes got a BIT distracted by how clever they were.

As far as the ships, I have no boat in this regatta, but long may you all sail. I will say I don't see Lokius at all. And I could see Sylkie, I might even like Sylkie, but I feel like if you don't have enough time to have them properly fall in love - and I am sorry but they are together for what, on the generous side maybe fifteen hours entirely - then their relationship really is only a kind of on the nose metaphor for self-love and nothing else. They kind of wanted to have it both ways, with them falling in love because they are the same AND having them be clearly not the same, but neither the show's running time nor the in show clock allow for anything else.

(BTW, I think a line that gives away that they were originally supposed to be together way longer than that, like possibly bopping around through time ahead of the TVA for a quite a while is when Loki says something to Sylvie about her still not trusting him 'after all of this time. ' WHAT all of this time? )

Ok, this going on too long, so a last few things.

I like Mobius, but he is cop. If you watch the character as a cop, saying and doing anything he can to get Loki to do what he wants it doesn't make him more palatable when he gaslights and in one point actually tortures him, but it makes him make more sense. He is deeply likeable, deeply shitty (I believe two things should be true), clearly does not like the fact that he doesn't actually get Loki despite all of his research, and he really should have apologized to him.

I like Sylvie. I like that we get a female character who is feral and smart and survivor, and also an epic fuck up. Seriously, she FORGOT to charge the one tempad that she kept to use? In fact, she only kept ONE tempad? That level of self-sabotage is very Loki, no matter what she calls herself. I loved her when she 'self-pruned' - that scene made me cheer, and I hated her when I saw her enchanting people, which I think is a cruel power. Also, that memory with Hunter C-20? They were on a date and no one can tell me otherwise.

Oh, and on a purely personal note, as a Logyn shipper, I feel like Sylvie to me has strong Angrboda vibes. I love Angrboda.

Finally, Loki.

Ok, Loki is my favorite character. Ever. In anything. And I had... issues with some of how he is portrayed. I think Tom did an excellent job, I think as an actor he is incapable of anything less, so I am not talking about that. Loki is normally the biggest character in any scene he is in, the only exception being in Ragnarok when he is with the Grandmaster (a rant for another day) and in the Loki series he is not, which is a problem because Loki is why we are here. I had no problem with him being stripped down, unarmored, etc. We see a lot of his more subtle strengths. He figures out where the Variant that all of the TVA has been chasing for hundreds of years in an hour looking at like three files. He recognizes Sylvie using enchantments to possess people right away. He has that amazing moment with the falling building. He sees beyond his own wants and the needs of the person he has come to care about to realize that the problems of two people don't matter a hill of beans in this crazy multiverse, having a true hero moment at the end.

That is all fine.

And he is also ridiculous in parts, drunk, disorderly, releasing goats, trying deceptions he knows won't work. And that is all fine too. He is finally being a trickster and tricksters are rarely worried about their dignity, and they are NEVER worried about anyone elses. So I am fine with all of that.

BUT at the same time, he spends a lot of time being the observer, a lot of time sitting in for the role of the audience and I feel like that diminishes him pretty badly. Loki is not a human being. He a thousand year old + demigod wizard and not allowing him any grandeur, not allowing him to really let loose at any point, keeping him from finishing the kind of hero journey that starts with him losing everything where he would need to come full circle and decide for himself what of that person he was before is worth keeping and what is best left behind is frankly a little heartbreaking.

I loved Richard E. Grant, but I loved him long before the show.

I loved the design and the soundtrack. Both were amazing.

Ok, if anyone has questions about specific things I didn't address I will be happy to answer, but please be civil. I know there for a lot of fans they deeply identify with Loki and so they are dealing with a personal emotion fallout that I don't feel qualified to speak to, since that is not my experience with the character.

Thank you to anyone who read this whole thing.

#loki tv show #loki tv show meta

18 notes · View notes

mimisempai · 2 years

Text

Just a moment of doubt

Summary:

Mobius, overwhelmed with work, is afraid that it will endanger his relationship with Loki and doubts himself. But just a smile and some words are enough to reassure him...

Notes:

An unplanned story (well, most of my stories are unplanned I know), just because I myself have just been through a moment of doubt. And because I too had smiles and words that reassured me.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/37680763

Rating G - 619 words

The days seemed to be getting more and more physically taxing lately for Mobius.

He was not at all sure what happened to him. Maybe he was just getting old or maybe his fatigue was taking away his motivation. In any case, today he was in a bad mood and he was spiraling. He couldn't concentrate on the important things and the slightest disturbance irritated him deeply.

Of course everyone at the TVA was on edge and the work was piling up while all he wanted to do was go home. For a week now he had only caught a glimpse of Loki, when Mobius came home at night he was already asleep and when he got up in the morning Loki was already gone. He was afraid that in the long run this kind of rhythm would affect their relationship.

But he was a little afraid to discuss his insecurities with Loki, he feared that Loki would find him weak and leave him, or that he would decide to leave for Asgard, now that he was reconciled with his family.

These thoughts went round and round in Mobius' head.

Objectively, he knew he was overreacting. But where Loki was concerned, Mobius lost all confidence in himself. And the old demons came back to haunt him, am I good enough for him? Am I not holding him back? He could have better than me.

Lost in his thoughts, he arrived in the almost deserted cafeteria without realizing it and the first thing he saw was the object of his thoughts. Loki.

Loki who gave him a bright smile as soon as he noticed him and from this moment on, nothing else mattered. Then without knowing how, two arms were wrapped around his neck and he was caught in a strong embrace.

He vaguely heard some laughter, but decided to ignore it, and wrapped his own arms around his lover, as gradually the uneasiness in him was replaced by relief.

He allowed himself to be dragged by Loki to the table and after seating him, Loki kissed him gently on the cheek before whispering in his ear, "I've missed you so much."

That was all Mobius needed to hear to realize how absurdly stupid he'd been the past few days, to allow his anxiety to erase common sense and make him think that Loki would consider leaving him for doing something as human as talking about his insecurities.

Mobius decided to forget about everything else for a few moments and spent the next few minutes letting Loki kiss him and then kissing him back, ignoring the few TVA employees who were gawking at such a public display of affection from Mobius.

When he looked up at the wall clock in the cafeteria, he saw that their work day was long over and decided to send all his responsibilities to hell for one night. Because the man next to him was far more important than any messy timeline.

Kissing Loki one last time, he stood up and held out his hand, "Let's go home."

Loki grabbed his hand and with a big smile followed him.

Mobius said to everyone as he left, "Go home, the work will still be there tomorrow."

Then he sped up, pulling behind him a Loki who was just as eager to go home as he was. The way was a little longer than expected, because they couldn't make a few meters without wanting to kiss each other under the amused and astonished looks of their colleagues.

"Who would have thought that these two would be so perfect for each other?" murmured Hunter B-15 as she watched the couple leave.

"Me." replied Sylvie with a knowing smile.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story 🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Lokius masterlist : here

#lokius fics #lokius #loki series #loki #mobius m. mobius #moki #wowki #lokius rights #lokius forever #loki x mobius #fluff #mobius m mobius #tooth rotting fluff #established relationship

12 notes · View notes