#The horse the wheel and language

[blackcrowing]

Review of The Horse, the Wheel, and Language: How Bronze-Age Riders from the Eurasian Steppes Shaped the Modern World by David W. Anthony

I will be upfront, it is a very technical book. If you are not well versed in the anthropological categorizing of cultures and time periods of the areas being discussed it can be very difficult to keep up with the more finite points the author is making. That being said, I had never heard of any of the specific cultures being discussed in the Danube Valley and was still able to enjoy this book and its well put together analysis of various aspects of language, culture, technological developments and shifts in behaviors and place.

If you are especially interested in any of the major themes this book discusses (which is in all honesty is an extensive list including but not limited to; the development of Indo-European language, the time periods and locations as well as likely motivation for domestication of various livestock types, the cultural effects of technological developments on the peoples of the Eurasian Steppes and their migration/trading patterns) I do highly recommend. It is heavy reading but extremely illuminating.

#The horse the wheel and language #David W Anthony #historical anthropology #anthropologist #anthropology #ancient languages #language #historical linguistics #linguistics #proto indo european #indo european #steppes #eurasian #eurasian steppe #horse #horses #husbandry #burials #Cattle #sheep #book review

[dykepuffs]

How Do I Make My Fictional Gypsies Not Racist?

(Or, "You can't, sorry, but…")

You want to include some Gypsies in your fantasy setting. Or, you need someone for your main characters to meet, who is an outsider in the eyes of the locals, but who already lives here. Or you need a culture in conflict with your settled people, or who have just arrived out of nowhere. Or, you just like the idea of campfires in the forest and voices raised in song. And you’re about to step straight into a muckpile of cliches and, accidentally, write something racist.

(In this, I am mostly using Gypsy as an endonym of Romany people, who are a subset of the Romani people, alongside Roma, Sinti, Gitano, Romanisael, Kale, etc, but also in the theory of "Gypsying" as proposed by Lex and Percy H, where Romani people are treated with a particular mix of orientalism, criminalisation, racialisation, and othering, that creates "The Gypsy" out of both nomadic peoples as a whole and people with Romani heritage and racialised physical features, languages, and cultural markers)

Enough of my friends play TTRPGs or write fantasy stories that this question comes up a lot - They mention Dungeons and Dragons’ Curse Of Strahd, World Of Darkness’s Gypsies, World Of Darkness’s Ravnos, World of Darkness’s Silent Striders… And they roll their eyes and say “These are all terrible! But how can I do it, you know, without it being racist?”

And their eyes are big and sad and ever so hopeful that I will tell them the secret of how to take the Roma of the real world and place them in a fictional one, whilst both appealing to gorjer stereotypes of Gypsies and not adding to the weight of stereotyping that already crushes us. So, disappointingly, there is no secret.

Gypsies, like every other real-world culture, exist as we do today because of interactions with cultures and geography around us: The living waggon, probably the archetypal thing which gorjer writers want to include in their portrayals of nomads, is a relatively modern invention - Most likely French, and adopted from French Showmen by Romanies, who brought it to Britain. So already, that’s a tradition that only spans a small amount of the time that Gypsies have existed, and only a small number of the full breadth of Romani ways of living. But the reasons that the waggon is what it is are based on the real world - The wheels are tall and iron-rimmed, because although you expect to travel on cobbled, tarmac, or packed-earth roads and for comparatively short distances, it wasn’t rare to have to ford a river in Britain in the late nineteenth century, on country roads. They were drawn by a single horse, and the shape of that horse was determined by a mixture of local breeds - Welsh cobs, fell ponies, various draft breeds - as well as by the aesthetic tastes of the breeders. The stove inside is on the left, so that as you move down a British road, the chimney sticks up into the part where there will be the least overhanging branches, to reduce the chance of hitting it.

So taking a fictional setting that looks like (for example) thirteenth century China (with dragons), and placing a nineteenth century Romanichal family in it will inevitably result in some racist assumptions being made, as the answer to “Why does this culture do this?” becomes “They just do it because I want them to” rather than having a consistent internal logic.

Some stereotypes will always follow nomads - They appear in different forms in different cultures, but they always arise from the settled people's same fears: That the nomads don't share their values, and are fundamentally strangers. Common ones are that we have a secret language to fool outsiders with, that we steal children and disguise them as our own, that our sexual morals are shocking (This one has flipped in the last half century - From the Gypsy Lore Society's talk of the lascivious Romni seductress who will lie with a strange man for a night after a 'gypsy wedding', to today's frenzied talk of 'grabbing' and sexually-conservative early marriages to ensure virginity), that we are supernatural in some way, and that we are more like animals than humans. These are tropes where if you want to address them, you will have to address them as libels - there is no way to casually write a baby-stealing, magical succubus nomad without it backfiring onto real life Roma. (The kind of person who has the skills to write these tropes well, is not the kind of person who is reading this guide.)

It’s too easy to say a list of prescriptive “Do nots”, which might stop you from making the most common pitfalls, but which can end up with your nomads being slightly flat as you dance around the topics that you’re trying to avoid, rather than being a rich culture that feels real in your world.

So, here are some questions to ask, to create your nomadic people, so that they will have a distinctive culture of their own that may (or may not) look anything like real-world Romani people: These aren't the only questions, but they're good starting points to think about before you make anything concrete, and they will hopefully inspire you to ask MORE questions.

First - Why are they nomadic? Nobody moves just to feel the wind in their hair and see a new horizon every morning, no matter what the inspirational poster says. Are they transhumant herders who pay a small rent to graze their flock on the local lord’s land? Are they following migratory herds across common land, being moved on by the cycle of the seasons and the movement of their animals? Are they seasonal workers who follow man-made cycles of labour: Harvests, fairs, religious festivals? Are they refugees fleeing a recent conflict, who will pass through this area and never return? Are they on a regular pilgrimage? Do they travel within the same area predictably, or is their movement governed by something that is hard to predict? How do they see their own movements - Do they think of themselves as being pushed along by some external force, or as choosing to travel? Will they work for and with outsiders, either as employees or as partners, or do they aim to be fully self-sufficient? What other jobs do they do - Their whole society won’t all be involved in one industry, what do their children, elderly, disabled people do with their time, and is it “work”?

If they are totally isolationist - How do they produce the things which need a complex supply chain or large facilities to make? How do they view artefacts from outsiders which come into their possession - Things which have been made with technology that they can’t produce for themselves? (This doesn’t need to be anything about quality of goods, only about complexity - A violin can be made by one artisan working with hand tools, wood, gut and shellac, but an accordion needs presses to make reeds, metal lathes to make screws, complex organic chemistry to make celluloid lacquer, vulcanised rubber, and a thousand other components)

How do they feel about outsiders? How do they buy and sell to outsiders? If it’s seen as taboo, do they do it anyway? Do they speak the same language as the nearby settled people (With what kind of fluency, or bilingualism, or dialect)? Do they intermarry, and how is that viewed when it happens? What stories does this culture tell about why they are a separate people to the nearby settled people? Are those stories true? Do they have a notional “homeland” and do they intend to go there? If so, is it a real place?

What gorjers think of as classic "Gipsy music" is a product of our real-world situation. Guitar from Spain, accordions from the Soviet Union (Which needed modern machining and factories to produce and make accessible to people who weren't rich- and which were in turn encouraged by Soviet authorities preferring the standardised and modern accordion to the folk traditions of the indigenous peoples within the bloc), brass from Western classical traditions, via Balkan folk music, influences from klezmer and jazz and bhangra and polka and our own music traditions (And we influence them too). What are your people's musical influences? Do they make their own instruments or buy them from settled people? How many musical traditions do they have, and what are they all for (Weddings, funerals, storytelling, campfire songs, entertainment...)? Do they have professional musicians, and if so, how do those musicians earn money? Are instrument makers professionals, or do they use improvised and easy-to-make instruments like willow whistles, spoons, washtubs, etc? (Of course the answer can be "A bit of both")

If you're thinking about jobs - How do they work? Are they employed by settled people (How do they feel about them?) Are they self employed but providing services/goods to the settled people? Are they mostly avoidant of settled people other than to buy things that they can't produce themselves? Are they totally isolationist? Is their work mostly subsistence, or do they create a surplus to sell to outsiders? How do they interact with other workers nearby? Who works, and how- Are there 'family businesses', apprentices, children with part time work? Is it considered 'a job' or just part of their way of life? How do they educate their children, and is that considered 'work'? How old are children when they are considered adult, and what markers confer adulthood? What is considered a rite of passage?

When they travel, how do they do it? Do they share ownership of beasts of burden, or each individually have "their horse"? Do families stick together or try to spread out? How does a child begin to live apart from their family, or start their own family? Are their dwellings something that they take with them, or do they find places to stay or build temporary shelter with disposable material? Who shares a dwelling and why? What do they do for privacy, and what do they think privacy is for?

If you're thinking about food - Do they hunt? Herd? Forage? Buy or trade from settled people? Do they travel between places where they've sown crops or managed wildstock in previous years, so that when they arrive there is food already seeded in the landscape? How do they feel about buying food from settled people, and is that common? If it's frowned upon - How much do people do it anyway? How do they preserve food for winter? How much food do they carry with them, compared to how much they plan to buy or forage at their destinations? How is food shared- Communal stores, personal ownership?

Why are they a "separate people" to the settled people? What is their creation myth? Why do they believe that they are nomadic and the other people are settled, and is it correct? Do they look different? Are there legal restrictions on them settling? Are there legal restrictions on them intermixing? Are there cultural reasons why they are a separate people? Where did those reasons come from? How long have they been travelling? How long do they think they've been travelling? Where did they come from? Do they travel mostly within one area and return to the same sites predictably, or are they going to move on again soon and never come back?

And then within that - What about the members of their society who are "unusual" in some way: How does their society treat disabled people? (are they considered disabled, do they have that distinction and how is it applied?) How does their society treat LGBT+ people? What happens to someone who doesn't get married and has no children? What happens to someone who 'leaves'? What happens to young widows and widowers? What happens if someone just 'can't fit in'? What happens to someone who is adopted or married in? What happens to people who are mixed race, and in a fantasy setting to people who are mixed species? What is taboo to them and what will they find shocking if they leave? What is society's attitude to 'difference' of various kinds?

Basically, if you build your nomads from the ground-up, rather than starting from the idea of "I want Gypsies/Buryats/Berbers/Minceiri but with the numbers filed off and not offensive" you can end up with a rich, unique nomadic culture who make sense in your world and don't end up making a rod for the back of real-world cultures.

#worldbuilding #world building #fantasy races #racism in fiction #nomads #romani stuff

[sacrilegious-skeletal-scribe]

An overview of the idea

(I have no faith in myself as a communicator of concepts and constant last minute rewrites do not coherent narratives make);

Queer art is complicated, as are the identities that spawn it, and we do nothing but a disservice to the people finding expression in the community by allowing ‘correct’ ways of existing to be normalized as an idea.

My identity as a person, my experience my joy and pain and mono-shaded valleys is so much more than a singular facet. But my art deals heavily with that of intense emotion, found readily in queerness as a concept and my personal relationship to it.

My art is queer, and I’m proud of it. There is a mindset being cultivated within the queer community that would see it torn apart for performing my queerness incorrectly. I am desperately afraid of that inevitably. I hate myself for that fear.

Gender is identity is facade is performance inherent, and the only factor that matters is that it makes your skin writhe to a rhythm.

The human experiment is so vast and wondrous and we’re all quite bad at existing in proximity to each other. There is not an individual at fault, but neither can the problem be ignored.

Queerness cannot be viewed on the false dichotomy between personally validating or pointed insult.

Maybe you’re nodding. Maybe you agree, maybe you’ve had to make your peace with this, maybe you’ve been on the receiving end of an attempted ethical bludgeoning for being yourself in a way inconvenient to the people analogous to you. Maybe I am preaching to a choir and there are no more fields to conquer.

But I think we’ve all met at least one person incapable or unwilling to reconcile the self to the other to the idea to the understanding that using queerness to goalpost their validity as a person hurts everyone involved.

And I don’t think I know how to write that as prose, so. Thanks for coming to my ted talk. The sound booth guy is about to mute the microphone and the audience hasn’t been listening since the lighting rig started to sway at me.

#queerness #lgbtq community #queer discourse #god just looking at that makes my blood pressure rise #tomes of a sacrilegious skeletal scribe #did you like this did you like the hard left turn from fiction horror podcast to a mental break on the idea of performance #within the queer community #queer artist #piss horse is one of my least favorite terms not insignificantly for its tendency to make circus acts out of conversations #now inescapably connected to a performance of itself #is this what you stick around for? #too damn bad god shouldn’t have let me learn a language #turns out when a large portion of your soul bearing horrifically personal artistic expression has connections to a thoroughly #internally vicious community you can’t help but pick up some opinions on the way #look queerness is a spectrum and some people don’t like it when there’s too many notches on the wheel #some of them are queer too and that makes it three times as exhausting #if three people see this and one of them likes it I’m going to cry but probably won’t be surprised. it is what it is.

[j-bron1]

#horse wheel and language

[ohmytyong]

spin the bottle

part of @rrxnjun 's "the crush chronicles" collab

PAIRING: childhood friend!donghyuck x female!reader (side pairing: friend!yangyang x friend!karina)

GENRE: college au, childhood friends to lovers, fluff, slightly angsty, coming-of-age, mc and hyuck grow apart and then become friends (or lovers!!) again, best friend!yangyang, best friend!karina, xiaojun and giselle are mentioned a couple times

WARNINGS: mentions of food, explicit language, alcohol consumption, mentions and use of drugs, smoking, vomiting, use of pet names (barely lol), probably a bit too fluffy at the end, the side couple is lowkey more interesting than the main couple (oops), super cliché plot line, not proofread (please let me know if i missed anything)

WC: 21,2 k (oops lol)

‣[PLAYLIST]: amusement park by baekhyun, can i call you tonight? by dayglow, on the way by nct dream, fallingforyou by the 1975

SUMMARY: you knew you loved lee donghyuck ever since you met him, when the two of you were little kids. you had become best friends and were practically inseparable. until one day, donghyuck had to leave town and he also had to leave you. however, your feelings for him only grew stronger and stronger and you knew you had to confess to him when you met him again in college. but all this time, you kept suppressing them and you were always left wondering one thing; if he ever loved you back.

A/N: wow i can't believe it's finally here!! i've spent months working on this fic and i can say i'm very proud for actually finishing it. thank you everyone for being excited for it and especially thanks to @rrxnjun and the collab call for giving me the basis for developing this idea <3 enjoy reading this fic and don't forget to give me feedback, it helps me a lot<33

read on wattpad / ao3

You were five years old when you first fell in love. Or at least you thought you did. You could never know what falling in love meant at such a young age. But that’s how you want to describe it. Because your feelings for him could not be compared to how you felt about other boys. He could not be compared to other boys. That’s why you fell in love with him. But he didn’t fall in love with you. Or if he did, he never showed it.

Loud cheerful screams were the sound echoing in your ears, mixed with the soothing dreamy music coming from the merry-go-round ahead of you. The gate in front of you seemed ginormous in comparison to your small body. Rainbow fairy lights were climbing up the sides of the gate, confetti glued in between each one of them. White balloons were tied to the top and bottom corners of the pillars, leading up to the bright red and gold sign at the top which read ‘Welcome to Dreamland’.

Your eyes were roaming around the place, looking up to the sky and then left and right to the amusement park your mum took you. Soft awes and chuckles left your lips every time you spotted something new. Everything seemed magical in your eyes, the music and the colors transporting your little brain to different dimensions; this was indeed dreamland.

You stopped in front of the merry-go-round and inspected it. The blue, gold and white horses were moving up and down to the rhythm of the music, kids were riding them with cheerful smiles on their faces. You wanted to go there too. You looked at your mother to ask her to get on the merry-go-round. You opened your mouth when-

“Y/n! Y/n!” a cheery voice was calling your name. You stopped to look towards the direction of the sound, only to spot your best friend. “Yangyang!”

You let go of your mother’s hand and sprinted towards him, capturing him into a tight hug. “Wanna go to the horses?” you asked him eagerly.

“Yes! Let’s go” he agreed and your mothers helped you get on the merry-go-round. After all, it was your favorite.

You and Yangyang went on almost every ride of the amusement park. You loved bumper cars, you went on the ferris wheel with your mothers and went on almost twenty rounds on the kids’ roller coaster. You even tried to catch a teddy bear at the claw machines, but you couldn’t get the chance to do so.

After hours of trying all of the amusement park rides, your little stomach started growling and the smell of food everywhere around you only triggered your hunger more. You passed by the food canteens, smelling and taking in all the delicious scents. "What should I choose?" you thought. Just then, you spotted a stand with something strange looking; it was multi-colored fluff on sticks. Cotton candy. You had never seen it before, so you had to try it.

“Mum! I want to try this! It looks like clouds! I want the pink one!”

Your mum agreed and bought you and Yangyang one stick of cotton candy each, while his mum bought you drinks.

You went over to the tables to sit and eat your cotton candy. You sat down on a chair and took a bite. You didn’t know what to expect, but the sugary flavor definitely met those expectations.

“Wow, it tastes so pink! And it feels like the clouds! It's so fluffy!” your mother laughed at your excitement and agreed.

Yangyang was eating his cotton candy too, but he suddenly grabbed your hand and dragged you down the chair. “Let’s go for a walk. Mum, can we go for a walk?” he turned to ask his mother.

His mum shrugged. “Okay, but not too far from here, I want to see you” she said and we left, grinning.

Obviously, you didn’t listen to her. You liked the freedom you had at that moment, so you went strolling through the entire amusement park.

You and Yangyang were holding each other’s hand so that neither of you run away and got lost. Your other hands were holding the cotton candy. You felt so small among the other people and the huge amusement park rides, but you liked it. You felt at ease.

Yangyang let go of your hand and started skipped in front of you. “In the count of three I’ll start running and you will chase after me to catch me!” he said leaving you still.

“No! Yangyang, I can’t run fast!”

Yangyang didn’t listen to you. He smirked instead and started counting. “One, Two. Three!”

“Wait!” you yelled, but he had already run away.

You sighed and started running through the crowd too. You could still spot him in between other people, but you couldn’t run that fast and stumbled when taking longer steps.

Yangyang stopped and turned back to look at you. He smiled and yelled. “Come on, you’re almost there!” and resumed running.

You were breathing heavily, your feet were feeling sore, and you couldn’t move with ease through the crowd. You took a deep breath and gathered all your energy to run as fast as you could. Your only focus was to catch your friend Yangyang, who was now walking backwards looking at you with a smug expression. You had blocked out your surroundings entirely and didn’t notice that another boy was running too. And he was running towards your direction.

Yangyang was now standing, waiting for you to catch him. “I got you!” you shouted before you let out a scream and fell on the ground. The other boy was running fast too, which ended in him bumping into you. Both of you and the other boy fell down on your butts, the cotton candy you were holding was now smashed and dropped on the ground too.

“No! My fluff!” you frowned, tears already forming in the corners of your eyes.

Yangyang was shocked to see you fall. He came over to you to help you get up, smoothening your dress. “Are you okay Y/n? I’m sorry, I didn’t want to get you hurt” he was the one that sounded more hurt.

“It’s okay Yangyang” you reassured him. “But my fluff fell too! I wanted to eat it!” you whined.

Yangyang hugged you. “Don’t worry, we’ll buy a new one."

The other boy steadily stood up by himself. “I’m sorry, I was running too. I didn’t see you.” The boy said, his head lowered.

Neither you or Yangyang responded, so he lifted his head slowly to look at you. “I can buy you cotton candy if you’d like. Sorry” he apologized again.

But you couldn’t speak now either. He looked at you with sorrow eyes, plump lips forming a pout. You took a moment to really look at him. His skin was darker than yours, he was slightly taller than you, his bowl-cut covered his eyebrows, moles on his cheek and neck.

You didn’t know why, but you felt your stomach clench. You cleared your throat and spoke. “Don’t be sorry, I was running too.”

The boy nodded. “My name is Donghyuck. What’s yours?” he asked.

“I’m Y/n and this is my friend Yangyang” you pointed at your friend beside you and he flashed a bright smile to the other boy, Donghyuck.

Donghyuck smiled too and you felt your stomach clench again. “Do you guys want to be friends?” he asked and both you and Yangyang nodded. “Yes let’s be friends! Do you wanna go ride the bumper cars?” Yangyang said and grabbed both yours and Donghyuck's hands.

That’s the first memory you had of him. The first time you saw him, and the first time you've ever felt this weird clenching feeling in your stomach. This was a memory you would always cherish and always remember dearly. But you weren't really sure if he held this memory as close to his heart as you did.

Beep. Pause. Beep

Why isn’t he picking up the phone? You had called Yangyang three times already. Where is he?

You put your phone in your pocket and grabbed the books you needed for your next class from your locker. As you locked it, an arm linked with yours and dragged you to the corridor.

“Are you ready for this new semester? I heard new students transferred to our department, they might be hot” your best friend Jimin was smirking, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Yeah they might be, but I have a class now and Yangyang isn’t here, I can’t cover up for him on the first day!” you complained.

“Oh come on Y/n, you know how he is. He probably slept in, he’ll be here, don’t worry” she said and you nodded.

You were walking towards your class, greeting a few of your old colleagues on the way. It was your third year of college already, but it still felt like your first day.

You and Jimin parted ways and went to your respective classes. You agreed to meet up later for coffee and lunch, after classes ended.

The amphitheater was almost full; you managed to spot an empty seat at the back of the room and hurried to sit there before someone else took that seat.

You sat down and placed the books on top of the desk. You checked your phone again and saw that Yangyang had now texted you.

[Yangles]

slept in. don’t save me a seat

ttyl :)

Typical Yangyang. You sighed and put your phone aside as the lecture was about to start.

For the next two hours, you couldn’t concentrate on the lecture because of the group of friends chatting behind you. If you were honest, their conversation was a lot more interesting than the lecture.

The girls behind you kept talking about the new students at the computer engineering department. You heard comments such as “oh he is so hot” and “they looked at me and winked”. Oh Jimin is gonna love the tea.

The lecture finally ended and you headed towards the coffee shop in which Jimin asked you to meet her. You sent her a text to let her know you’re on your way. As you were typing the text, suddenly an arm slung around your shoulder. So you let out a loud-ass scream. 

“Guess who’s here!” Yangyang exclaimed, a wide grin plastered across his face, eyes bright, his loud voice a bit too close to your ear. If you ever become deaf, it’s all his fault.

“Oh good morning to you too Yangyang, I’m fine thanks and you?” you said ironically and he rolled his eyes at your comment.

“Cut the ironies bestie, I met Donghyuck earlier” he said and your feet froze and stayed glued right where you were standing.

But you haven’t seen him in years. He moved out of town when you were fifteen, right before high school, because his parents found a better job. He had promised both you and Yangyang that he would call and maybe even visit you whenever he could. And he kept his promise for a while, but after things got tougher with school, his phone calls and occasional visits stopped.

Your stomach clenched. You gulped and removed Yangyang’s arm from your shoulder. “what do you mean Donghyuck is here?”

“I mean that Donghyuck is here” he said, rolling his eyes again, but his tone was serious. “He transferred to the computer engineering department. I came across him on campus and met his friends too. Real cool guys. He asked me about you too.”

“He did?” you regret speaking, because you didn’t expect your voice to come out that shaky.

“Um yeah, why wouldn’t he? He wants us to meet and hang out, just like the good old days. Are you free now?” 

“No, I’m actually meeting Jimin for coffee now. I was texting her before you scared the shit out of me” you said.

Yangyang laughed. “Okay, I’ll see you later then. I’ll tell Hyuck you said hi” he squeezed your cheek and left.

But you were still standing frozen, trying to comprehend what Yangyang just told you. Donghyuck is back. He is back and you couldn’t wait to see him again. So he does remember you. There must be a reason why he didn’t contact you all these years. People’s lives change, right? Does he still look as pretty as he did back then? Does he still care about you as he did back then? All these questions started forming one after the other in your head, but you couldn’t distract yourself from the clenching feeling in your stomach. In fact, these exact questions were to blame for causing you this feeling. 

You were ten years old when you fell in love again. Not that you ever fell out of love. But at least now you were sure about your feelings. It wasn’t something you had made up; it was rather a confirmation that you had loved him ever since the day you saw him.

You had went to the park with Yangyang and Donghyuck. The three of you decided to do sports in the park; Yangyang took his skateboard with him and Yangyang took his bike. You, however, didn’t take anything with you; you didn’t know how to skate and you certainly didn’t know how to ride a bike. You just wanted to tag along because you had fun spending time with your friends.

But Donghyuck had offered to help you learn how to ride a bike. Yangyang bursted out laughing so hard when Donghyuck said that. “I tried to teach her how to skate once and let me tell you, I wouldn’t even think about teaching her how to ride a bike” Yangyang said.

Yangyang always found his way to make fun of you. He didn’t do it in order to be mean; it was anything but that. He liked teasing you because you would get annoyed and then he would apologize because he felt bad. “I didn’t mean it Y/n” he would say. “I know” you always responded.

But that day Donghyuck was present in this conversation. What you didn’t expect was for him to stand up for you. “Well, in her defense Yangyang” he started “skating is too hard. It needs patience both by the skater and the student. The bike is a bit easier to handle. I think Y/n can do it”.

Every time Donghyuck spoke about you, your stomach clenched. You didn’t know what it was about him that made you feel this way. Was it his eyes? His smile? His honey skin? His soft voice? His kindness and humor? The way he treated you? You didn’t know.

Yangyang agreed with Donghyuck. “You’re right, I didn’t mean what I said. Just so you know. I think you can do this Y/n” he said, his smile fading.

“Don’t apologize Yangles, I know you didn’t mean it” you said and his signature grin appeared on his face again.

You eventually learned how to ride a bike. Donghyuck helped you every time; he taught you how to keep your balance, held you every time you were about to fall and did it every day until you were finally able to do it on your own.

One day he asked you to go to the park to ride your bikes together. Yangyang said he couldn’t come because he felt sick. So it was just you and Donghyuck.

You always felt such comfort with him. He reminded you of a warm summer day in nature. His pure gaze felt like the sun rays hitting your skin, his plump lips seemed to be as soft as the cotton fields, his laugh livelier than the chirping birds. He was comfort himself.

That day the two of you went biking, you couldn’t help but smile at the way you felt. You felt free, independent, powerful. The world surrounding you was in a haze, the only sight you could see was him, the only sound you could hear was his voice.

But sometimes it felt nice not hearing his voice. It meant that he was at peace, and you were too. You had left your bikes standing against a tree and the two of you sat down on the grassy ground to just stare at the sunset. You both loved the sunset.

Donghyuck’s arm was resting on your lower back, his head leaning towards yours, which was resting on his shoulder. Sometimes, when you sat in a position like this, you would try to match your breathing with his. If you were to be honest, you would admit that it was quite hard.

Donghyuck’s gaze was set on the colorful sea of clouds ahead of him, You did the same. He didn’t turn to look at you when he spoke up. “You know, Y/n, at moments like this, I realise how much I enjoy spending time with you. You are truly the best friend I could ever have. I would never leave you, okay?”

The words he uttered at this exact moment confirmed that you sure loved him. More than just a friend. But you could never open up to him about this. He could never know. Not when he wasn’t feeling the same. Not when he didn’t keep his promise.

Jimin was sitting at a coffee table near the window, sipping from a white plastic cup while texting on her phone. You skipped towards her and sat down on the chair opposite from hers. “Donghyuck is here”.

She put down both her cup and her phone and looked at you with furrowed eyebrows. “What? Don’t tell me he’s one of the transfer students” she said. 

“Well, apparently he is” you said. “Yangyang told me. They’ve already met. Plus, he asked about me”.

Jimin’s bottom lip dropped down to her jaw. “What?” she said again. “Okay, when are we meeting him? I need to have a word with him”.

You laughed at her reaction. “Stop it Jimin, I’m over him now. It’s been years since I had a crush on him.” you said.

“I don’t believe you. You can’t trick me with that. I won’t fall for it.” she said, her tone serious. “I know you dated and all, but you always compared everyone to Donghyuck. You expect me to believe that you moved on?”

You rolled your eyes and sighed. “Whatever” you said.

The two of you paused for a moment before Jimin spoke up. “Do you think he got even hotter?”

You laughed at her comment and playfully slapped her forearm. “Stop it Jimin!”. She was now laughing too. “I don’t know, okay? He might be.” you said.

“Do you want to see him?” Jimin asked you and your eyes shifted down to your lap.

You seriously didn’t know. A part of you wanted to see him, talk to him, hug him and feel him again, ask him about his life and interests, spend time with him. But a part of you was scared; scared that if you saw him, you would fall in love with him again.

“My guess is that you do. Come on, I missed him a bit too” Jimin said and you chuckled. “Now, how about we get you some coffee and you tell me about your day, hm?” Jimin asked and you nodded in agreement.

The next day Yangyang insisted on picking you up from your dorm and driving you to your classes. He felt bad he missed the first day of the semester so he decided to make up for standing you up by driving you to class. You grabbed your phone to text him and let him know that you were ready but he beat you to it. He was already parked outside the dorm complex waiting for you in his car.

You opened the door from the passenger’s side and got inside the car. “Hey” you greeted him and he did the same, flashing you his signature wide grin.

“Don’t make plans for later. We’re going out tonight. You, me and Donghyuck” he said after he turned on the engine.

 The mention of this specific name took you aback. You muttered a small “okay” and you hoped he heard you the first time so you wouldn’t have to repeat it. “Should I tell Jimin to tag along? She said she would like to hang out all together too” you asked.

Yangyang shrugged. “Yeah sure, I haven’t seen her in a while. Hyuck would love to see her too” he said.

You thanked him for agreeing to invite Jimin and smiled at him. But you couldn’t ignore the clenching feeling that appeared again in your stomach.

Your thoughts carried you away and you didn’t realize you had already arrived at campus. Yangyang parked the car and both of you exited it. You exchanged a short conversation of “see you later” and “text me for any news” and went to your respective classes.

The day went by in a flash. It was already afternoon and you were in your dorm with Jimin, your closet wide open, clothes scattered all over the bed.

You let out a frustrated sigh. “I officially don’t have any clothes” you whined.

“No, you do,” Jimin said, “you’re just nervous. And I don’t even know the reason why, I thought you were over Donghyuck, right?”

“Jimin please, you’re making this even harder!” you whined again.

Jimin got up from the chair and stood in front of your closet. She searched through the racks and the drawers for a while until she stopped and put an outfit on your bed. “Here,” she said, “get dressed. And do it quickly. We’re gonna be late”.

You complied and took the clothes to get dressed. It’s just a meet up with old friends. Nothing to be stressed about. You didn’t have a crush on Donghyuck anymore either. You were probably nervous, or rather excited, because you hadn’t seen him in a long time. Yeah, that’s probably why.

You were supposed to meet Yangyang and Donghyuck at the local diner. Yangyang promised to be there earlier so that you and Jimin wouldn’t have to be the ones to wait for them. You weren’t sure whether you should believe him or not; every time he promises to be early, there’s only gonna appear something on his way to make him late.

Jimin offered to drive the two of you to the diner that you were supposed to meet your friends at. You’ve been to this diner before, you’re going out with your best friends, just a normal night out. But why is your heart beating so hard? Why does it feel like it’s about to rip your chest apart and fly out of your body?

Jimin parked the car in the diner’s parking lot. You spotted Yangyang’s car in the parking lot too, two figures standing beside it. It must be them. It must be him.

“Hello? Are you listening to me?” Jimin waved her hand in front of your face and you quickly snapped out of your thoughts. “I see them, let’s go” she said and exited the car.

You imitate her movements and get out of the car too. Jimin noticed your uneasiness, so she linked her arm with yours and walked with you towards the boys.

Yangyang and Donghyuck seemed to have a conversation about something and didn’t realize you were right there, standing in front of them. “We’re here” Jimin spoke up and the two boys turned their bodies to look at us.

Your gaze immediately fell on the boy that made your heart beat and break at the same time. Black leather jacket hanging from his shoulders, black skinny jeans and boots covering his long legs, comma-styled black hair exposing his forehead. You locked eyes with him, his chocolate ones piercing through yours, plump lips sliding upwards to a wide smile. You swear you saw sparkles in his eyes for a second. Only your heart knew the answer.

“Y/n” Donghyuck breathed out and you returned his smile, before you threw yourself on him and embraced him tightly.

He started laughing. “I missed you so much” he said in your ear and you were thankful he wasn’t able to see your face because your cheeks were almost on fire. “Cute, but I wish I could say the same bitch-ass” you laughed too.

“Oh shut up, you haven’t seen me in years and this is the treatment I get?”.Of course he clapped back. Typical Donghyuck. And right there and then, it felt as if not a single day had passed.

You hugged him tightly. You forgot how comfortable he felt. He had rested his chin in the crook of your neck and you stood on the tips of your toes to do the same. He had definitely grown a bit taller since the last time you saw him. You took a moment to remember his scent, to feel his touch, to hear his voice. And then the clenching feeling was there again.

Yangyang cleared his throat. “Um, we’re here too, you know” he trailed off. You and Donghyuck broke the hug and Donghyuck motioned Yangyang and Jimin to join you in a group hug. Your cheekbones hurt because you were smiling so hard. Your heart fluttered. You were happy.

Yangyang was the first one to break off the hug because he started whining and said he was hungry, so he went inside the diner and invited us in. Donghyuck followed shortly after him, leaving you and Jimin behind. Jimin turned at you and mouthed “girl he’s so hot” and went inside the diner. Typical Jimin, you thought.

Time seemed to have stopped and felt like you were trapped in a loop. Spending time with your favorite people, laughing, talking, reminiscing about the past while making plans for the future. You only stopped the conversations when you had to take a bite from your food or take a sip from your drink. Yangyang didn’t seem to be bothered by that though. 

“So,” Donghyuck started and you shifted your gaze to your drink “are you still dating that guy Y/n?”

Oh he was talking to you. You looked up at him, confused. “Who? Dejun? Well, no, we broke up, like, so long ago” you said.

“Yeah he yeeted his way out to be a model in China or something, honestly who even cares? I almost forgot about him” Yangyang said after he emptied his glass of beer.

Donghyuck chuckled at Yangyang’s remark and went back to eating his food. Jimin kicked you under the table and when you looked at her side, she was smirking.

“Well Yangyang, how about you tell us about your relationship, hm?” you asked him and he choked on his food. He started coughing and Donghyuck patted him on his back to help him breathe.

“Let's not talk about it bestie, okay? I know I fucked up” he said after he caught his breath.

“Why what happened? Donghyuck asked, intrigued.

Jimin was the one who spoke this time. “He's supposed to be dating this girl but he never texts her, calls her or takes her out. Basically he never wants to spend time with her. I seriously don’t know why she hasn’t broken up with him yet”.

Yangyang lowered his eyes. “It’s not like I don’t wanna see her,” he muttered, “but I may or may not have lost feelings and I kinda don’t know how to tell her”.

“Maybe if you weren’t such a coward you would confront her and stop playing with her. It’s that easy you know. Whether you love or don’t love someone anymore, you should tell them before it’s too late” you told him.

“Sounds brave coming from you, Y/n” his response caught you off guard. You threw a piercing glare at him and before you opened your mouth to speak, Jimin spoke over you. “Maybe we should change the topic, what do you think?” she said.

You and Yangyang exchanged a look and focused your attention on your food. Donghyuck chuckled at the interaction between you and your best friend, but he didn’t say anything. 

The rest of the night went on smoothly and you soon forgot about the tension between you and Yangyang from earlier. He was right though. You should consider your own advice sometimes. Why can’t you tell Donghyuck you like him? Why didn’t you tell him when you had the chance to do so? Your feelings for him began to resurface and it was just the first time you saw him after years. You couldn’t let yourself make the same mistake again.

The entire night you and Donghyuck kept throwing hidden glances at each other. You caught him staring at you multiple times and if you were honest with yourself, you did stare at him too. You couldn’t ignore the fact that he looked beautiful. He had always been beautiful.

Your mind, however, was focused on something else, something you wanted to have an answer to. Why did he stop reaching out for you when he left? You needed to know the reason why. He must have had a reason. You tried to push this thought aside and allowed yourself to have a good time. I’ll ask him another time, you thought.

You were fifteen years old when you had your first kiss. And it was none other than Lee Donghyuck himself who stole it from you. Part of you believed that the reason you were so attached to him even now was because of that day; he gave you your first kiss. But a part of you knew that the kiss was the incident that tied everything together.

Donghyuck announced one day that the company his parents worked in was moving their main offices to a different town, so they had to move away from this place. The same day, you announced to your friend Jimin that you had your first heartbreak. Of course you were going to miss him. A lot. Yangyang was sad too that day. Jimin didn’t know him well enough, but she still felt sad when Donghyuck told you all.

The day before Donghyuck and his family would move away, Yangyang had an idea; to throw a goodbye party for Donghyuck. Donghyuck disagreed and said that a normal hangout with all of us would be just fine, but Yangyang insisted on throwing a party at his place. It will still be just the four of us but a little bit fancier, he had said.

So eventually everyone agreed. The previous day, you and Yangyang went to the shops to buy snacks and some decorations. You were walking around the convenience store aisles when Yangyang finally admitted to his ulterior motives.

“So, Y/n, here’s what we’re gonna do. For the party. I think we should play games but in a more adult way, if you know what I mean” he smirked and wiggled his eyebrows.

You looked at him confused and urged him to continue. “So we’ll play spin the bottle. And before you protest, no we’re not gonna drink anything with alcohol in it because we’re gonna get caught, but it’s gonna be a good excuse for me to kiss Jimin and for you to kiss Donghyuck”.

You stopped walking with a bag of chips in your hands and turned to him. “Are you out of your mind? This cannot happen, ever!” you whisper-shouted at him.

“Oh come on Y/n, don’t be such a party pooper. We both win in the end so what’s the matter?” he whined.

You thought for a few seconds. “They might be uncomfortable and turn down your offer. We want to have fun, remember? Plus, I don’t think Jimin likes you back and Donghyuck certainly doesn’t like me back either” you said and put that bag of chips you were holding into the shopping cart.

“Okay, Jimin might not like me back but I am completely, utterly, absolutely sure that Hyuck likes you” Yangyang said but you ignored him.

As if the odds were against you that day, Jimin and Donghyuck agreed on Yangyang’s suggestion. Jimin wasn’t that fond of the idea of playing spin the bottle at first, but eventually the boys convinced her and she said yes. You had no other choice but to agree too.

You wanted to kiss Donghyuck. You really did. But not in a forced scenario and definitely not in front of Yangyang. You wouldn’t bear his annoying ass teasing you about it for the rest of your life. But this could be my chance to finally confess to him, you thought. But even if you did, nothing would change. He would still leave town the next morning.

Yangyang grabbed the glass of cola you emptied earlier and put it on the ground. You gathered up sitting on the ground too. You looked at Jimin and she smiled at you. “Don’t think about it too much Y/n, it’s just a game”. It wasn’t just a game to you.

Yangyang was the first one to spin the bottle. The empty cola bottle spun for a few seconds, four sets of eyes staring at it with laser rays coming out of them. The bottle started gradually spinning less quickly, until it took three, two, one seconds before it stopped and became still; the top part of the bottle was pointing at Jimin and the bottom part was at Yangyang’s side. “Oh my god Jimin has to kiss you bro” Donghyuck said, smiling.

“This game is bullshit, I don’t wanna do it” Jimin said and crossed her arms. Jimin’s words made Yangyang’s lips drop down to a frown.

“Come on Jimin, it’s just a game, you said it yourself” Donghyuck said. Jimin sighed and leaned towards Yangyang. “Fine, come here then you bitch” she said before she grabbed Yangyan’s jaw and kissed him on the lips. You and Donghyuck stayed still, watching them. Jimin only went in to peck Yangyang, but he went all the way in and kissed her properly. Jimin was quick to react and pulled away from him.. “Ew, don’t do that! We agreed on just a kiss not a full on makeout session. Jeez Yangyang” she said and sat back down at her side.

Yangyang tried to hide the sulk on his face. “I tried to taste your chapstick more, you bitch, but it turns out it tastes awful. What the fuck is this taste?” Yangyang said and wiped his lips with the back of his hand.

“It's vanilla” Jimin said. Yangyang loved vanilla.

The game continued for a couple of rounds and every single time, as if it was its fate, the bottle landed on Jimin and Yangyang. Jimin had already had enough with kissing Yangyang just once, so she suggested that they avoid the kissing part and just hug instead. This went on and on and on until the bottle spun again, going round and round and round until it stopped in three, two, one. But this time, the bottle’s ends were pointing towards two different directions. The bottom part on you, the top part on Donghyuck.

You gulped and looked at him. He seemed calm, relaxed. For him, it was just a game. Sitting there at that moment, looking right into his deep brown eyes, you regretted agreeing to play this game. And you made a mental note to slap Yangyang after all of this was over.

“Now this is getting interesting” Yangyang whispered just loud enough for you to hear him and went over to Jimin's side to sit beside her and watch.

Donghyuck licked his lips and leaned over towards you. You hoped he wouldn't be able to listen to the drumming sounds of your heart or see the embarrassingly vibrant red color on your cheeks. You just went along with it. It’s just a game, right?

Donghyuck was standing a bit too close to you, probably the closest the two of you have been physically. Or rather, the most intimate you’ve been together. He lowered his head to meet your eye level, and came closer to your face just enough so that his lips were grazing over your ear. “Don’t be nervous, it’s just for fun” he whispered to you. Suddenly, this wasn’t just fun anymore.

Donghyuck pulled away from your ear and was now staring deep into your eyes, his face almost attached to yours. He looked at you for a couple of seconds before he gave you a reassuring nod. You didn’t have the energy to say anything, so you gave him a nod too, signaling him that you were fine.

Before you could even process what was about to happen, Donghyuck leaned in and kissed you. Plump lips captured yours in a soft dancing motion, their taste perfectly resembling a mix of the pizza and cola he had earlier. Shock waves run throughout your entire body, as he moved his hand to the back of your neck to support you.

You allowed yourself to fall entirely into him, eyes closed and lips moving along the rhythm he created. A few seconds felt like hours, his homely yet unfamiliar touch making your stomach clench and your face heat up in love.

And then he stopped. Donghyuck pulled back and flashed the brightest smile you had ever seen painted on his beautiful face. He licked his lips and you laughed awkwardly, looking down at your lap to avoid his piercing gaze. Your heart was still beating rapidly. You could taste his lips on your lips, you could feel the touch of his hand in the back of your neck, you could hear the sound of his beating heart, you could sense his cool breath fanning your burning face. Donghyuck had stopped kissing you, but the sensation of his kiss was still present in your entire body. You just had your first kiss, and at the same time, you had your first kiss with Donghyuck.

“Gosh you were kissing for ages. Like, get a room, or something” Yangyang said and went back to sit on the side of the room he was previously sitting in. Jimin threw you a playful wink secretly from the boys. You knew what it meant. We need to talk later type of wink.

It was getting late and Donghyuck’s parents called him to go back home. He needed to leave sooner than the rest of you because he still hadn’t packed all of his things. You greeted him one last time before he walked out the door to leave.

As the door closed, you felt your heart sink down the deepest ocean, a piece of it shattering, tears welling up in the corners of your eyes, dryness in your throat. You missed him already. It had been just a couple of seconds since he walked out the door and your heart to go out that door with him too.

A tear streamed down your cheek.So this was it. A second tear followed shortly after the first one. Then another one. And another one. Soon enough a pool of tears was running down your face and it hadn’t occurred to you that you were going to miss him that much. 

But as if a lightning bolt struck you, you quickly wiped your tears with the palm of your hands, stormed out the door and ran after Donghyuck.

“Donghyuck!” you yelled and he stopped to look back at you. You were lucky he heard your voice, he hadn’t walked that far though, you were quick to react and follow after him, just so you could spend some more time with him. You and him.  “Do you mind if I walk you home?” you asked him and he nodded.

You skipped a bit so that you could walk beside him. You started walking alongside Donghyuck, taking a few seconds to catch your breath until it came back to its normal rate. “So, when are we gonna see you again?” you asked him. He left a low chuckle and shook his head.

“I honestly don’t know, Y/n” he said. Another piece of your heart shattered.

Donghyuck noticed your saddened expression and took your hand in his. "Hey, look at me” he said. You stopped and turned towards him, taking in the details of his face. His chocolate eyes were gleaming under the moonlight, the moles on his dark cheek reminded you of the stars in the night sky.

“I will not forget you. Ever. Always remember that. I will try my best to call you as much as I can, all of you. You guys are my best friends, I could never leave you. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, it won’t be that easy for me to visit you often. but I promise to make up for all the time that we will lose. Especially for you. But I can’t be sure when that will be.”

A tear slipped down your cheek again and he wiped it away with his thumb. Why is he being like this all of a sudden?

Your voice wasn’t strong enough at that moment for you to speak, so you opened your arms to embrace him instead. And he hugged you back so tightly you thought your body would be merged with his. He buried his head at the crook of your neck and you stayed there for a while, feeling the presence of your bodies on each other. Not a single word was said, yet you felt so comfortable and safe in his arms.

That night you had helped him pack his things. You stayed in his room afterwards, talking, laughing, crying. God you were going to miss him. That day, you thought for the first time ever that maybe your feelings were reciprocated. But he said nothing about it. So you didn’t say anything either.

But you wanted to. It felt like all the words were stuck in your throat and there was something blocking them from coming out. I like you Donghyuck, I like you a lot. It was that easy. But for some reason, you couldn’t say it out loud. Maybe you didn’t want to. Maybe you were too scared of rejection. Or maybe you were afraid of losing a friend.

You and Donghyuck were sitting at the stairs of his porch, next to each other, facing the stars of the night sky. You didn’t want to go home. You couldn’t. You wanted to stay there longer, kiss him again, talk to him about anything and then kiss him again.

When you stood up to leave, he hugged you one last time, stroking your hair lightly. He spoke in a low voice in your ear. “I’ll be back. Don’t forget me”.

How could I ever forget you Donghyuck?

The day after you met Donghyuck at the diner, he texted you and asked to hang out later after your classes. You would be lying to yourself if you said that you didn’t screech like a schoolgirl the moment you saw his text message on your phone when you woke up.

Of course you agreed to meet him. At that moment, you didn’t feel nervous, at all,  but as time passed your stomach was clenching more and more.

Jimin wouldn’t stop nudging you about it the entire day. She wanted to meet up for lunch because she was dying to talk about this ever since you came back home last night. “The first thing he did in the morning was to ask you to hang out later? Yeah, sounds like a date to me” she said.

You rolled your eyes at her. “It's not a date, drop it. He just wants us to hang out, that’s it” you said.

“Are you sure that you want to just hang out though?” she asked you.

You thought for a second. “Well, no, but I won't try to do anything more than that” you said.

“Whatever,” Jimin said “you have to tell him sometime though, you know that right? And you also have to admit to yourself that you never really got over him, so now that he’s here you have to make your move. You had your chance once and you lost it. So don’t lose it again now”.

You sighed. “What if he doesn’t feel the same” you said.

“Who gives a fuck?” Jimin said “If he doesn’t feel the same, you will close this chapter and begin a new one. There are other fish in the sea too, you know”

Yeah but it’s not the same, you whispered to yourself. Jimin didn’t hear you.

As soon as you came back to your dorm, you went straight to searching through your closet for an outfit to wear later, when your phone chimed.

[Hyuck]

meet me at the park in about hour

[Hyuck]

bring your bike too

You were staring at your phone screen until it turned off. Oh he’s such a little bitch, you thought.

You put on comfortable clothes and running shoes, and decided to ride your bike on the way to the park. The sun was beginning to set; orange and pink hues painted the sky, a light chilly breeze combing through your hair. The park was still lively, little kids were playing with each other, old couples were going for walks, some students were studying under the trees.

You hadn’t been to the park since the day Donghyuck left. Yangyang wanted to go skating there from time to time, but every time he asked you to keep him company, you turned down his offer. Then, he started filling his time with dating girls and you started spending more time with Jimin, so the park wasn’t your go-to place to hang out anymore.

You saw Donghyuck leaning against a tree, foot resting on top of the bike’s pedal, same black leather jacket as the day before, a bucket hat hiding his pretty features. He was scrolling through his phone as you approached him.

“Hey” you said and his head shot up, turning off his phone and placing it in his pocket. “Y/n, hi” he said and smiled. You smiled back at him. He looked beautiful when he smiled.

“So, you still like the park, I see” you said. He nodded and hopped on his bike. “I do. So come on, let’s go for a ride. I think we have to catch up on a lot of things. And I promised to make up for all the time we lost. So, let’s go” he said and started riding his bike.

You followed shortly after him until you were now biking beside him. So he does remember his promise, you thought. You smiled to yourself and pushed your thoughts to the back of your mind. You wanted to enjoy your time with him, just like the old times.

You spent hours biking and talking about anything. Donghyuck told you stories from his high school years, the friends he met on the way, how he changed his college major and decided to come back here to study computer engineering.

“A part of me wanted this change because I missed this town, you know? I have so many memories here, I was kinda attached to this place. All I needed was a valid reason to come back, and I found one, so here I am.” he said.

You couldn’t help but bring the same questions to your mind, so you gathered all of your strength and asked him. “Then why didn’t you visit us at all? Or even call us back? You did at first and then you stopped. Why?”

Donghyuck pulled the breaks of his bike and rested his feet on the ground to stop the bike from moving. You mimicked his actions and stood there searching his features for an answer. He cleared his throat and turned to look at you. You couldn’t see his face clearly because the bucket hat was casting a shadow over his features.

“Honestly, I don’t really know. I didn’t want to stop contacting you, but I don’t know why I did it.” He paused for a few moments. He drew in a breath and started again. “You know what, I think I know, but I can’t tell you now. Maybe some other time, okay?” he said.

You were left confused, but decided not to question him any further. Instead, you nodded and smiled at him. He would tell you when he was ready to do so.

The sky was getting darker and darker and both your stomachs growled in hunger. Donghyuck suggested that you buy takeout and sit under at the park to stargaze. You left your bikes leaning against a random tree and put your jackets on the ground to sit on them.

The sky looked beautiful. The stars and the moon were shining brightly, contrasting with the pitch black background of the sky. Donghyuck was staring at the sky when he spoke up “I remember how much you liked watching the sky when you were younger. You were always watching the stars closely and we made bets on which one would fall first.”

You chuckled at the memory. “And you always lost. Every. Single. Time. Seriously, you have no intuition at all. You had won one time and bragged about it forever” you said and he laughed.

He turned his head to face you. He had taken off his hat too, his black hair was falling over his eyes. “You were just lucky all the other times. Don’t flatter yourself” he said.

You sat there and ate your food in silence. Comfortable silence. The only sound that was heard was the singing of the cicadas in the trees and occasionally your munching on the food.

Everything felt at ease again. You and Donghyuck, sitting beside each other, enjoying each other’s company, not having to utter a single word. You were smiling at yourself, it really felt as if not a single day had passed.

Donghyuck looked back at the sky and took a sip from his drink before he addressed you. “You really improved. Biking, I mean. I remember you were still struggling when I left” he said.

“Thanks, I still rode my bike to school so that I could get used to it more. Thank you for teaching me by the way. I don’t think I ever thanked you properly” you said.

“It's no problem” he said and sipped from his drink again.

He opened his mouth to speak again, changing the subject now. “So, why did you break up with that guy? Dejun, was it?” he asked.

Why is he so curious about that? “Oh, there were many reasons actually. He wasn’t a bad guy, he was really cool and I liked him a lot. It’s just that we got kinda bored of each other, I guess? And he also graduated from high school a year earlier than me so then he had to go back to China for college.”

Donghyuck nodded. “I see” he paused and asked again. “How was he like?”

“Why do you even bother so much? He is old news now, anyway” you said. But now you were curious about Donghyuck too. “Tell me about you, did you date anyone in high school?”

You don’t know why but you got anxious waiting for his answer. He shrugged. “Yeah but nothing serious. Just casual things, you know?” he said and you hummed in agreement.

The night went on and you talked more. You and Donghyuck agreed to hang out at the park every day after your classes, like you used to. That’s what he suggested. You couldn’t say no; of course you wanted to spend time with him.

And that’s what you did. You grew closer again, maybe even closer than you used to be. You enjoyed biking and stargazing in the park a lot. It had become your thing; an activity that the two of you shared with each other, an excuse to get away from everyone and everything and make up for all the memories you could have had.

There were quite a few moments when you wanted to look Donghyuck in the eyes and tell him I like you dumbass. But every single time you backed away from doing it. You were too scared that these harmless words would end up destroying everything you had built with him.

So you waited. You waited for the right time to bring it up. You were having the time of your life alongside a dear person that you’ve loved and appreciated your entire life. You were not ready to take the risk and possibly lose him. So you never said a word. Because he didn’t say any words either.

“Why does Donghyuck keep asking me about Dejun? What is so interesting about him? If he wants to find out more about him, he should be the one to date him” the frustration in your voice made a couple of people turn their heads from the tables next to yours.

Jimin took a fork bite of her carrot cake. “Girl, you must be joking” she said, munching on the piece of cake. “He asks about him because, guess what, he is jealous! J-e-a-l-o-u-s. Got it? Why are you so stupid, gosh! The man has clearly fallen for you and you are so oblivious of it!”.

“I mean why would he be jealous? Dejun and I broke up so long ago” you muttered to yourself.

Jimin heard that and, obviously, she wouldn’t leave it at that. “This is what happens when you like someone. Donghyuck keeps asking you about your ex boyfriend because he wants to make sure he’s in the clear to make a move.”

You sighed. “Is this why you keep asking Yangyang if he broke up with his girlfriend? Look, Jimin, I love you, but I don’t think Hyuck likes me. As a friend, yes. But nothing more than that.”

Jimin gulped down a glass full of water. “Okay, whatever floats your boat, Y/n” she said and took another fork bite of her cake. “So, did Yangyang tell you? A frat guy he knows is hosting a party this weekend, wanna go?” she asked you.

“Come on Jiminie, you know I don’t really do parties” you whined.

Jimin rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t expecting a different answer. But we’re definitely going. There’s gonna be hot boys, good music and lots of alcohol. I heard Donghyuck is going too”.

“Well, he didn’t mention any party” you defended him. “He didn’t mention any party yet” Jimin corrected you. “He's gonna bring it up any second. I bet you can’t say no to him, you care too much about his feelings but you never care about mine” Jimin sulked.

You mentally slapped her only because you couldn’t bear to slap her for real. “I will go to the party because you want us to go, not because Donghyuck will supposedly be there. You know I always come along with you in everything. We come as a package, remember? Now, don’t sulk and eat your cake, we have to think about our outfits” you said. She was your best friend after all, it was the least you could do.

Jimin’s face lit up and her lips curved upwards, stretching all the way to her ears. Before she could open her mouth to speak, you cut her off. “But you have to promise me that you won’t get drunk, okay?” you said and lifted your pinky.

She linked her pinky finger with yours and nodded in agreement. “I don’t exactly promise it, but I’ll try my best” she said.

Donghyuck indeed mentioned the party later that day when you went out at the park with him. “I don’t really wanna go either Y/n, but all my friends are gonna be there. And now that you’re gonna be there too, I can’t be the only one missing out from all the fun” he said.

Donghyuck has had his fun share with parties during high school. He told you so one night at the park. He would sneak out the house and go to parties during weekends, but one night, or rather morning, he went home super drunk and threw up all over the front door rug. He claimed that this happened because of a dare his friends made him do and that he didn’t intend to drink as much as he did. After that, he avoided parties like the plague. It’s not that his parents never allowed him to go again; he could easily sneak out his window. He was smart enough to realize that parties were simply not good for him.

“I wanted to fit in with them, you know?” Donghyuck said “I got used to it eventually and I actually kinda liked it, but now I don’t really enjoy such things”.

That’s one of the many reasons you liked Donghyuck so much. His honesty. He wasn’t afraid to speak his mind about things that bothered him, or simply voice out his thoughts. So why wasn’t he doing it with his feelings too? Was it so hard for him too? Did he actually like you, like Jimin said? Or maybe you just wanted to believe that he did. If he really did, he would probably have said it by now.

But his actions spoke louder than his words. You couldn’t help but think about the way he looked at you under the night sky when you were staring at the stars but he was staring back at you. Or when he wiped your strawberry milk stains from the corners of your lips and his fingers stayed there brushing your lips a little longer than they should be. Or when he held you close to him among big crowds so that he wouldn’t lose you from his sight. Or when he would let you rest your head on his chest while he was stroking your hair so that you could fall asleep faster.

You swear you had heard him whisper something to you once, but when you asked him to repeat it he waved it off. Were you that desperate for his attention? Maybe. But maybe both of you were fools, afraid to let their heart be free because of the painful possibility that it might break.

You and Jimin were standing in front of the frat house door, the loud music blasting through the speakers behind the wall created a throbbing base sound in your ears, your heart beat in sync with the beat of the song that was playing from inside that house.

“Do we knock or...” Jimin trailed off before the door slid wide open and a tipsy young man stood by it. “Welcome ladies, come on in” he said. You and Jimin looked at each other for confirmation before hesitantly taking a step forward. The young man stepped aside so that you could get through the door.

The place was dark, the only source of light being the neon special effects lighting coming from the DJ set. The rooms were packed with people, some of them already drunk, some of them dancing all over each other, the mixed odor of sweat, alcohol and weed making you dizzy. At that exact moment you reminded yourself that this was why you didn’t like parties.

You and Jimin stood there, eyes wandering all over the room, trying to take in the scenery in front of you. “Damn, this is so cool” Jimin breathed out.

The guy who opened the door a few seconds ago was nowhere to be seen. A girl was walking with her sunglasses on, when she bumped into Jimin and spilled a bit of her drink on the ground, a drop of it landing on Jimin’s shoe. A “sorry” was barely audible on top of the loud music and Jimin stood there looking at her shoe in disgust.

“I guess it’s not that cool” she said and grabbed your hand. “Let’s go get ourselves some drinks.”

You walked towards the kitchen which was a bit brighter compared to the other rooms. Bottles of different types of alcohol were lined up on the kitchen counter. Juice boxes, ice and plastic red cups were placed on the kitchen table. A group of boys were refilling their cups with their alcohol of choice, while a couple was making out up against the wall next to the fridge.

Jimin’s disgusted expression from earlier appeared again. You decided to ignore your surroundings and went over to the kitchen counter to grab a drink for you and Jimin.

“Where’s Yangyang?” Jimin asked

“I honestly have no idea. He said he’d text me once he gets here, but I’m a bit surprised he didn’t arrive earlier than us. He doesn’t miss on such things” you said and Jimin nodded.

“And Donghyuck?” she asked again

You put the bottle of alcohol down and grabbed a box of grapefruit juice. You shrugged. “ No idea either.”

Jimin smirked at your answer, but she didn’t say anything. Instead, she took her cup and guided you out of the kitchen towards the living room. “Come on, let’s dance” she said.

The music was blasting into your eardrums and your body caught the rhythm of the music, adjusting its muscles to move along to it. It wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be. Your body was swaying to the fast-paced song that the DJ was playing when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket.

[Hyuck]

where are you?

[Hyuck]

can’t see you

You lifted your head to look around the crowded living room in hopes of finding Donghyuck. It didn’t take you long before you could spot him among the crowd, though. You could never miss him anywhere, he always stood out in your eyes. Your gaze caught his, and his lips curved a bit when he saw you.

He tried to squeeze between the people dancing in the living room in order to get to your place. “What are you looking at?” Jimin asked you when she noticed that something bothered you.

You didn’t have time to answer her, because Donghyuck grabbed your arm to smoothly turn your body around and shift your attention to him. You felt a lump in your throat, your breath trapped inside your lungs. There he stood, messy hair falling onto his eyes, black graphic shirt and jeans, a Cuban link around his neck and matching rings on his fingers contrasting with the dark colors of his outfit. He looked gorgeous.

He flashed you a smile, raising his voice so that you could hear him. “Hi” he said. He simply said hi. Yet a group of butterflies started dancing in your stomach. You said it back.

Jimin got the message and leaned in your ear. “I think I saw some girls I know from one of my classes. I’d better leave you two” she said and turned on her heel to leave.

Donghyuck waved Jimin off and grabbed your hand. He then bent a bit lower and leaned in your ear. “Should we go somewhere quieter?” he asked you, his low voice vibrating in your ear. You could only nod.

Donghyuck walked in the front and you followed behind him, still holding his hand. He led you outside the house, towards the back yard. Plastic cups were scattered all over the grassy ground, two girls passed out beside some bushes, a guy sipping alcohol from a glass bottle and dancing on his own. Yeah, parties were weird.

You felt weirded out and uncomfortable at the sight and Donghyuck sensed it. He squeezed your hand and you looked up at him. He nodded to the large swing beside the barbecue stand and motioned you to go and sit there.

You sat down on the swing and Donghyuck copied your movement. He leaned his body towards the back so that it touched the back of the swing and with a swift motion, he pushed his feet on the ground and the swing started moving. You lifted your feet off the ground and let Donghyuck rock the swing smoothly.

You sat in silence for a moment, that comfortable silence that only existed when you were with Donghyuck, which was interrupted by his honey voice. “I don’t like parties” he simply said.

You turned to look at him but he was staring into the void in front of him. “ I have bad memories when it comes to parties” he said.

You didn’t speak. You didn’t want to. You always let him open up to you without interrupting his stream of thoughts.

Donghyuck drew in a sharp breath. “Remember that story I told you about that party? That one when I went home the next day and threw up all over the door? Yeah that one. I couldn’t bear going to something like this again when the last time I did, I didn’t even do it for myself. Did you know that I started drinking so that kids at my new school thought I was cool? That’s how I ended up spilling my guts all over my mother’s rug.”

He turned to look at you. “Pretty disgusting, huh?” he chuckled.

You chuckled too. You lowered your gaze to your feet. “Then why did you come here tonight?” you asked him.

“I don’t know” he said without even thinking about his answer. “I guess I came for my friends again.“ He paused for a second and spoke again “And I guess I also came to see you, mostly” he trailed off.

You stilled at his words and you thanked yourself for staring at your shoes and not looking at him, because he would be able to see the embarrassingly bright red color of your cheeks.

“But you see me everyday. We hang out all the time” you said.

“I know” he said. That’s all he said. What was that even supposed to mean?

Before you could speak, Donghyuck got up from the swing and extended his arm in front of you. “Come on, let's get out of here. This party sucks, we both hate it, so why waste our time? Let’s leave. Me and you.” he said.

You looked up at him. “Hyuck,” you trailed off “as much as I hate this party and as much as I want to leave with you, I promised Jimin to keep her company” you really hated that you had to say this.

“Jimin has found other people to hang out with, she’ll be fine, I know it.” Donghyuck said, a glimpse of hope in the tone of his voice.

That glimpse vanished when you rejected his offer for the second time, the corners of his mouth dropping to a frown. “I’m sorry Hyuck, I can’t” you said.

Donghyuck nodded to himself and put his hands inside his pockets. He cleared his throat but his voice still came out a bit raspy and low. “It’s okay, I get it.”

Your heart shuttered upon seeing him like this. You really didn’t want to make him feel bad, but you had also promised Jimin to be there for her since she wanted this so much. And you couldn’t let yourself break that promise, even though it was actually a bit trivial. Because in all honesty, Jimin would really be fine.

But also a small part of you was too flustered to spend time alone with Donghyuck at that moment. You felt as if you weren’t capable of controlling your emotions; your feelings kept growing stronger and stronger, and his presence alone was enough to make you feel overwhelmed with love.

The back door opened and someone came running through it. “Donghyuck, dude!” a guy you didn’t quite recognize yelled and came to grab Donghyuck by his arm. “You’re missing out on all the fuuuun my dude, come in back insideeee we’re gonna get fucking wasted!” the guy was yelling and patting Donghyuck on the back of his neck while dragging him inside the frat house.

Donghyuck said something you didn’t quite catch, and he tried to let go of the guy’s hold on him, but he failed to do so. The guy had already taken him to the back door and inside the house.

The door closed shut behind them and you left sitting on the swing by yourself, rocking it slightly with your feet. You shivered under the cool evening breeze and wrapped your arms around your body to shield yourself from the cold.

You didn’t want to go back inside. You promised Jimin to keep her company, but a frat party was the last place you wanted to be at, at that time. You grabbed your phone and, speaking of the devil, a few texts from Jimin appeared on your screen.

[Jiminie]

spotted yangyang. pretty sure he took a girl to a room

[Jiminie]

doesn’t he a gf?

You sighed reading Jimin’s texts. You really had to have a talk with Yangyang. And Jimin, for that matter. At least you knew that he was safe and that you probably won’t have to take care of him like a baby after you leave the party.

[you]

let him be, we’ll kick his ass tomorrow

[you]

where are you?

The text you wrote was delivered for the next 15 minutes. Jimin hadn’t read your message. All of a sudden, your hands became sweaty and your chest felt heavy as if a rock had fallen onto it.

Why didn’t she text me back?

Worry started welling up inside you and you rushed inside the house looking for your best friend. The music had got louder, the crowd was bigger, the smell of alcohol and weed more prominent. You went running up and down the stairs, kicking open every single door you found on your way.

Still, Jimin was nowhere to be found.

You stood at the edge of the stairway for a second to catch your breath. You opened your phone to call her and started walking towards the bathroom, the last room you didn’t check.

The phone was beeping in your ear, but Jimin didn’t pick up. You exhaled sharply and opened the bathroom door, still holding the phone in your ear. The sweat on your palms and the rock on your chest magically disappeared when you saw Jimin kneeling in front of the toilet with an arm holding her hair back out of her face.

A sigh of relief escaped your lips and you stopped the phone call. “Thank god you’re safe. I was so freaked out you bitch” you said and crouched down beside her. “Are you okay?” you asked her.

Jimin nodded and let her hair fall down her shoulders. She wiped her lips with the back of her palm before she spoke. “I’m okay. I had a bit too much alcohol and I threw up. But I feel better now. Sorry for making you worried” she said.

You opened your arms and she fell into your embrace. You stroked her head lightly, as you could feel her warm tears wetting the fabric of your shirt on your shoulder. She promised not to drink too much, but your gut somehow knew you’d better stay there at the party because something like this would be inevitable. “It's okay Jiminie, I was the one who left you alone, I promised to keep you company” you said.

She pulled back from the hug. “I guess we both broke each other’s promise” she chuckled and you did the same.

Jimin sniffled and wiped her already dry tears. “Why are you alone? Where is Donghyuck?” she asked you.

“We were sitting outside but then a random guy came and dragged him back inside. He seemed pretty wasted” you replied.

Jimin’s eyes widened and she stood up abruptly. “Oh no, oh no no no” she said.

You stood up too. “What? Jimin, what's wrong?” you asked her curiously.

“If it's the guy I think it is, then Donghyuck might be stupid drunk right now, or even worse, under the influence. We need to find him. Now” she said and ran out the bathroom and down the stairs, skipping a couple of steps while doing so.

You followed right after her, the rock falling on your chest again. You hated parties. This was final. Things like this are unavoidable in parties, and you hated the fact that your friends had to go through shit every single time.

The music wasn’t as loud as earlier and the living room didn’t feel as crowded. Most of the people were gathered outside in the backyard, or were already passed out on the beds or the floors of the bedrooms.

You and Jimin spotted a group of people gathered in a circle in the middle of the living room. Everybody was sitting on the carpeted floor, bottles of alcohol scattered everywhere around them. You noticed that a guy was holding a blunt and kept rotating it to every person gathered in that circle. Oh no. 

Their voices were mixed in with the music coming from the DJ set, so all you could see was their mouths moving without saying anything meaningful. The smoke of the blunt made the living room foggy and your lungs were struggling to work properly in between the crowded room.

The stinging sensation in your eyes caused by the smoke and flashing lights made your eyes watery and you could not tell apart any face in the crowd, except for Jimin who was standing next to you.

“What the fuck is going on in here?” Jimin whispered.

You rubbed your eyes in order to clear your vision without even caring if this would ruin your makeup. The faces on the people sitting on the floor became clearer, and it didn’t take you long before you spotted the familiar chocolate eyes looking drowsy, honey fingers placing the blunt in between soft plump lips.

A girl passed Donghyuck the blunt and he took a long and slow drag from it, exhaling the smoke into the thick air creating smoke rings. He then gave the blunt to the person next to him and he leaned back supporting his body with his elbows.

Donghyuck was wasted. Whatever that guy did to him in such a little time got to him immediately. His chocolate eyes were drowned in a pool of red, his hair looking messier than before and his clothes were all wrinkled.

You stood there frozen looking at him. If you had tried to keep him away from that guy, he wouldn’t have ended up in this situation. He had told you that he was pressured by other people to do stuff he didn’t want to do, but was he that naive to let this happen to himself once again? How many times has that even happened before? 

Your thoughts had carried you away, your vision was blurry again and your ears had blocked away all the sounds. An arm slung around your shoulders and you jolted up at the sudden touch.

“Where have you been bestie? You came rrright at the perfect time. We’re playing spin the bottle” Yangnyang said drowsily, his eyes painted in the same red shade as Donghyuck’s.

“Oh you’re here too, come on, sit down” he said to Jimin and dragged us both to the circle on the floor. He used both his arms and his full force to sit us down next to each other, and then he got up to sit across from us where he was previously sitting.

The girl to your left offered you the blunt but you rejected it without a second thought. Everyone was either stupid high or stupid drunk, some of them were both. You were suffocating. You felt like a total stranger there, even the existence of your own body was making you anxious.

You turned to Jimin on your right. “We need to go home” you mouthed and she kept nodding to herself constantly.

Your eyes roamed around the small circle, trying to find a way to get up and leave. But before you could do that, the chocolate pair of eyes that was now drowned in deep red, locked in with yours. A sense of déjà vu ran through your entire body, shivering under his gaze. This cannot happen again.

Jimin took your hand in hers and squeezed it tightly. She was uncomfortable and so were you. You tried to get up and leave, but the girl next to you dragged you back down.

A guy gulped down an entire bottle of alcohol before he put it down in the middle of the circle. You didn’t even bother to look at what type of alcohol it was.

Yangyang moved in closer to the middle and grabbed the bottle. “Alright, I'll go first!” he shouted and with a swift motion, he spun the bottle fast.

The bottle was spinning at a rapid speed until it came to a stop, its two ends pointing on two people you didn’t know. Apparently, you were the only one who didn’t know them because everyone else was super excited for their kiss. Or at least they were too high to understand what they were doing.

The bottle spun again. And again. And again. You lost count of how many rounds you were in, the same way your eyes were lost in Donghyuck’s. You kept him under your gaze, watching his every move and trying to justify the way he was acting. You had never seen him like this, so out of himself. What happened to the boy you saw a couple hours ago? The boy you knew ever since you were five? It felt as if he had almost lost whatever it was that made him different from the others. Right now, he looked like every other frat boy in that house.

But he didn’t really look at you. In fact, his mind seemed to be roaming around, not really paying attention to any of his surroundings except for when someone would pass him the blunt.

The bottle kept spinning and almost everyone had kissed someone else at this point. Yangyang took his fair share of the game as he kept on kissing a different girl in almost every single round.

Jimin squeezed your hand again and you realized how uncomfortable she might have felt. This time, you wouldn’t let any of the others stop you from leaving. Your friend wasn’t feeling well, but so were you. So you let go of Jimin’s hand and stood up, ready to leave.

As if fate was against you, you heard a burst of cheers and whistles coming from everyone gathered in the room. You regretted not leaving sooner, because the one end of the bottle was pointing at your side. And the other end was pointing at Donghyuck.

Cold sweat ran down your temples and a tight knot appeared in your stomach. This can’t be. You froze there standing still, staring at the bottle on your feet. You lifted your gaze from your feet to meet Donghyuck’s, who was staring back at you with a smug expression painting his face. From the corner of your eye, you could spot Yangyang grinning like a madman, his entire dentition on full display.

As if he did it on purpose, Donghyuck took a long drag of the blunt before standing up too so that his eyes leveled yours. The smugness on his face never left his features, his drowsy red eyes pouring into yours.

He slowly walked towards you, stopping right in front of your standing figure. His face was now way too close to yours. You could smell the alcohol and God knows what else on his breath, the heat of his body radiating to yours.

Donghyuck parted his lips and your breath got caught in your throat. His body somehow got even closer to yours. He tilted his head to the side and leaned against your ear. His hot breath was fanning over your ear, his lips softly grazing your skin. With a voice hoarse and low, he spoke loud enough for you to barely hear him. “Don’t worry sweetheart, we’ve done this before.”

You hadn’t even noticed which end of the bottle was pointing at you, but Donghyuck took the initiative himself and smacked his plump lips onto yours. His touch caught you off guard. You were standing there doing nothing, while Donghyuck placed both of his hands on the sides of your neck, his lips moving aggressively yet smoothly on top of yours.

You waited for him to pull away so that you could leave the party as soon as possible, but his intentions seemed to be different. He bit on your bottom lip in an attempt to part your lips so that you could kiss him back. You hated to admit it to yourself but it definitely worked. You parted your mouth just enough and moved your lips in sync with his smooth plump ones, the taste of alcohol from his lips transfering to yours.

The knot on your stomach kept on tightening more and more with each second passing. Your pulse rate had reached an infinite number of beats per minute and you were sure that your legs would not be able to hold you for much longer.

As if Donghyuck read your mind, he pulled away after leaving a last soft peck on your lips, removing his hands from the sides of your neck. He pulled back smirking at you as you were still standing frozen, your lips still feeling numb and swollen.. 

You had blocked away everyone else that was around you. You couldn’t hear anything of what they were saying. Your brain was still trying to comprehend what had just happened.

With a quick snap back to reality, you grabbed Jimin’s hand and turned your back to everyone else, storming off through the door of the frat house.

The night of the party you slept over at Jimin’s dorm. As soon as you exited the frat house, you went straight to Jimin’s car and you offered to drive since Jimin wasn’t in the right place to drive. She was still feeling unwell after she threw up all the alcohol she had consumed previously the same night, so you wanted to make sure she would be fine. But honestly, you weren’t feeling well either, and it wasn’t because you had drank.

Your mind kept replaying the moment Donghyuck kissed you like a video on loop. You were suddenly fifteen again, playing a silly game of spin the bottle with your friends where you happened to kiss your silly little crush. But now it happened again. And it wasn’t a silly game or a silly crush anymore.

Why was Donghyuck so complicating? All those times you hung out together, you never noticed him having any romantic intentions towards you. Everything he did or said was purely in the terms of friendship. But the way he approached you, touched you and kissed you at the party told you otherwise. Were you that blind not to notice his intentions?

You tried to excuse his behavior, saying that he was high or drunk and didn’t know what he was doing. Which is not necessarily a lie. It wasn’t his fault that he got peer pressured into drinking and behaving like one of the frat boys. He is the complete opposite of a troublemaker and ill-intended person; no wonder people found it so easy to talk him into things. 

Plus, it was only just a game. He sure didn’t think of it as something much of a big deal, so why would you give it so much importance? 

You mentally slapped yourself for thinking like this, because Jimin, who was already fast asleep, would yell at you for excusing Donghyuck’s behavior. He’s not a kid, he’s a grown-up, he knows what he’s doing, she would say. You had to wait until the morning to hear her scolding. The thing is, she wouldn’t be completely wrong about this.

During the thunderstorm of thoughts pouring inside your brain, a bold lightning struck in between. What if you confessed to him? Your heart couldn’t bear hiding what it felt for any longer. At that moment, you didn’t care if it would ruin your relationship with Donghyuck. He has acted recklessly enough quite a few times now, so you were allowed to be reckless for once too. He had to know how you felt, because this is what would make you feel at ease with yourself. He can’t find it so easy to kiss you in a drunk game and not feel anything either. After the spark that lit up with the touch of your lips and the butterflies that danced around the knot in your stomach, you knew you had to tell him. But the problem was that you didn’t know how to do it. 

For the meantime, you had curled up in Jimin’s bed hugging yourself tightly, crying your eyes out until sweet sleep brushed over them and closed them shut.

The morning of the next day you and Jimin went out to grab breakfast together. She was still feeling a bit weird because of last night’s events, but she said that a plate of chocolate chip pancakes would cure her hangover.

You were fiddling with your fork, scraping it at the surface of the plate, a screeching noise coming from it. Jimin visibly shivered at the sound and you stopped it.

“So,” Jimin began, swallowing a big piece of the pancakes, “wanna talk about last night?” she asked.

You put your fork down and sat back, crossing your arms. “I don’t think there’s anything to talk about. Everything is so confusing” you answered.

“Um, that’s exactly why we need to talk about it” Jimin said. She drank a full glass of water and then set it down on the table with a thud. It was so loud, you thought that the table might have broken.

“Donghyuck literally kissed you and we’re gonna completely ignore that? Come on Y/n, we cannot pretend it didn’t happen. Well, at least you cannot pretend it didn’t happen” Jimin said.

“Drop it Jimin, he was drunk, or high, or whatever.”

“No he was not. Well he was, but not that much. He knew what he was doing. Look, Y/n, Donghyuck has been a great friend to you and I know how much you love him for that. But when it comes to the romantic part of your relationship, he’s been nothing but an ass.”

You sighed and didn’t say anything in return. Jimin was right. He really was an ass when it came to romantic relationships. But you couldn’t ignore your feelings. You knew the way you felt when he touched you, when he leaned close to your ear and whispered to you, when his lips danced with yours.

The question is, did he feel the same?

You broke the silence by speaking up. “I think I’m gonna confess to him” you said.

Jimin almost choked on her food. She started coughing and you immediately got up and patted her on her back to prevent any accidents. You filled in her glass with water and helped her drink a bit.

“You what?!” Jimin practically screamed and you were thankful that the restaurant was not full that morning.

“I thought about it last night and I can’t keep suppressing my feelings, But I don’t know how to do it and I still think that Donghyuck might not like me back, hell, he only sees my as a friend, but at the same time I felt it when he kissed me, it felt different than the first time he did it back at that goodbye party before high school and God I hate parties becau-“

“Hey hey hey! Calm down bestie” Jimin interrupted you. You were panting, trying to catch your breath. You didn’t realize you went on an auto-rant mode until after Jimin spoke.

“It’s okay, I know it’s hard to do it. But if you finally feel confident enough to tell him, you should do it. We’ll think of a way to do that, together.” Jimin reassured you and you nodded to yourself.

Speaking of the devil, your phone screen lit up and a ting sound echoed in the room. You picked it up, only to see a text from Donghyuck.

[Hyuck]

see you at the park later?

You sighed again and made a mental note to text him back in a minute when you would have calmed down from your previous outbreak.

You really had to tell him, and you had to do it soon.

Despite your initial denial, you agreed to meet Donghyuck later that day at the park, at your usual spot. You were contemplating whether to meet him or not, because even though you wanted to confess, your anxiety and fear of a bad outcome got the best of you. 

You didn’t mind if you got rejected. You really didn’t care at all. At that moment, you just wanted to get it out of your chest. A few weeks ago, you would be dreading the possibility of Donghyuck rejecting your feelings and ruining your friendship. But right now you had none of that in mind.

You rode your bike on the way to the park in order to clear your mind with some fresh air. The sun had almost set and the park was becoming emptier. You spotted Donghyuck sitting on the ground with his back resting on a tree trunk. He had rode there on his bike too.

You went up to him and he only noticed your presence until after you sat down beside him. He turned his head to your side and he flushed you one of his precious bright smiles, the one that always made your heart skip a bit.

You didn’t want to lie to yourself, but your confidence from earlier magically vanished the moment you saw his face.

“How have you been? It was a mess last night” you spoke first and his smile dropped at the sound of your voice, his plump lips forming a soft frown, eyes falling down to his lap.

“Don’t remind me of that” Donghyuck said. He paused for a second before he spoke again. “I actually wanted to apologize for that. For whatever happened. I clearly didn’t mean anything I did or said, so if I did anything bad or weird, don’t tell me. I don’t wanna know. I promised myself I wouldn’t get carried away, but guess what! I did nothing but that. I’m sorry.”

You waited for him to finish with what he wanted to say before you said anything else. You went closer to him and rubbed his back in sympathy.

It took you a while to take in everything he said. What did he mean by “I didn’t mean anything I said or did”? Did he regret kissing you? Didn’t he feel the same spark, the same tingle, the same knot in his stomach?

You tried to push these thoughts away and focus on your feelings. It was time you put your feelings first, or rather, yourself. Your heart was beating out of your chest, blood rushing into your cheeks, as you gathered all your confidence and courage before you spoke up.

“Donghyuck?” you said in a soft, quiet voice, barely above a whisper. Donghyuck lifted his head, his chocolate eyes diving deep into yours, his skin glimmering under the moonlight like frozen honey.

That’s when your voice got stuck in your throat, and you stood there staring at him and he was staring back at you. “Wanna go on a ride with our bikes? To clear our minds?” you said.

He nodded and his plump lips curved upwards, his eyes creasing a bit on the sides. This is not what you wanted to say, but at least you said something.

You wanted to say so much more. So many things occupied the back of your head, you wanted to scream at him for giving you all these mixed signals, you wanted to scold him for acting so immature, you wanted to hug him and tell him that he’s too good for this world, you wanted to feel his touch and warmth on your body. But you did nothing for it.

You had to think of a way to confess to him without having to say any words. Otherwise, you would fuck up. Or you wouldn’t be able to do it at all, and you would be left with the burden upon your chest.

In the meantime, you were reminded how beautiful you felt every time you were with him. You relaxed, you laughed, you cried, you smiled, you frowned, you were stressed and then you were not. There was only one boy in all the world that could wake up every single emotion inside you and that boy was none other than Lee Donghyuck.

You still quite couldn’t put your finger on what it was that made him so different from the other boys. Maybe the fact that he was just a guy, like everyone else, but he seemed so gorgeous in your eyes. Maybe it was because you knew him in a way no one else did. That’s why you felt the need to share your feelings with him, because no matter what, you somehow knew that he would always love you back, even as just a friend. 

You were still mad at him for acting this way. But you could not completely ignore the person you knew because of one reckless incident. You knew Donghyuck very well, and you knew that he was better than this. You weren’t in the right mood to confront him after seeing how bad he felt with himself, so you chose to put whatever happened at the party towards the back of your head for a while and enjoy your time with him.

There is always the right time for everything.

“Aeri broke up with me” Yangyang announced, with a frown on his face that could reach the floor.

“She did? Yeah, I’m not surprised. You shouldn’t be either” you said.

“But why?” Yangyang whined.

“Are you serious right now?” Jimin spoke up “You literally hook up with every other girl, plus, you never gave her any attention! And you have the audacity to cry about it.”

You were walking on campus, heading towards your respective classes. It had been two days since the frat party, and Yangyang’s girlfriend found out about his doings and she finally snapped.

Donghyuck caught up to you and joined the conversation. “Oof, I found you guys, I was looking for you everywhere. Wait what happened?” he asked as soon as he noticed Yangyang’s frown in his expression.

“Aeri happened” you said.

“Who's Aeri?” Donghyuck asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

Jimin was the one to speak up this time. “Yangyang’s girlfriend. Well, now ex-girlfriend. It took her a bit long to come to her senses but I’m happy she finally did.” She turned to Yangyang and slapped him in the back of his head. “See, you never even mentioned her name, you idiot! You’re gross, honestly” Jimin said with a disgusted expression.

Donghyuck smiled slightly at Jimin’s comment, but none of them saw him but you. Was it just your idea or did he look extra fine today?

Jimin walked to your side and linked her arm with yours. “Now if you will excuse us boys, we have to talk about girl things, mhm?” Jimin said and dragged you away from them, leaving them walking behind you.

“So, I thought of the perfect idea” Jimin whispered, lowering her head.

“About what?” you asked.

“You will make a quiz and send it to him” Jimin said. You stopped at your track to take in what she just said. “What?”

“You want to confess to Donghyuck, right? So I did some research and came across this quiz that you supposedly send to your crush and then they have to respond and send it back to you I guess. What do you think?” Jimin said.

“It sounds childish. Yeah I don’t think it will work” you said.

“But why? Let’s give it a try. Please” Jimin whined and you couldn’t do anything but agree with her. “Okay, listen. I’ll see what I’ll do. If I feel confident enough to send it to him then we’re good, otherwise we’ll have to think of something else” you said.

Jimin screeched and hugged you tightly. “Thank you thank you thank you! Oh my god, I really think it will work. Plus, it’s not gonna be a face to face confession so don’t be nervous about it. You got this. I’ll meet you later after classes to work on it. Love you bestie!” Jimin said and ran off to her class, leaving you walking on your own in the campus.

Maybe her idea wasn’t that bad after all. This couldn’t go too wrong, right?

Later that day you met Jimin at your favorite café. You found her sitting at your usual table, scrolling on her phone.

Yangyang decided to tag along this time too. You bumped into him on your way out of campus and invited him for coffee too. You didn’t tell Jimin about it, but you were sure she wouldn’t mind.

You sat down next to her, and Yangyang went for the seat on the other side of the table, taking out his phone.

“Let’s start, take out your laptop” Jimin said and you did so. You opened an empty form sheet and stared at the cursor appearing and disappearing on the screen. “Well, how do I start?” you asked.

Jimin took the lead and turned the laptop to her side so that she could type on the keyboard easier. “So, we'll start with his name. Write something like, ‘Hi Donghyuck, if you’re receiving this it’s because I have a big fat crush on you and I don’t know how to tell you-‘”

“Shhhh,” you interrupted her “don’t say his name” you whisper shouted.

Yangyang raised his head from his phone screen and joined the conversation. “Don’t worry about it bestie, it’s not as if we don’t know about it. It’s so obvious that you like Hyuck to the point it hurts my eyes every time I see you looking at him. Can’t you be more discreet about it? What the fuck are you two even doing by the way?”

You were left speechless and kept blinking, staring at Yangyang. Of course he would figure it out, he’s been your best friend since you were literally babies. You shouldn’t be surprised by this.

“We’re making a confession quiz to help Y/n tell Donghyuck that she likes him. I saw it online and apparently it works wonders” Jimin said.

Yangyang stayed silent for a few seconds before he started laughing hysterically. You and Jimin looked at each other and then back at Yangyang, waiting for him to stop with his laughing outburst. 

You waited until he finally caught his breath, wiping a tear that slipped from the corner of his eye with his finger. “You guys are seriously so funny” he said.

“What's so funny about it, Yangyang? Hm?” Jimin asked him.

“I just find it such a stupid idea. Don’t you think it’s a bit childish? It won’t work” he said.

“That's what I thought too, but I’m gonna give it a try” you said.

“Okay, whatever” Yangyang said and went back to scrolling on his phone.

“Don’t give him any notice, Y/n. Let’s move on” Jimin said and started typing on the keyboard.

“So, we'll start with questions such as ‘Did you know that I liked you?’ and ‘If yes, then how did you know?’ and then ‘Do you like me back?’ and stuff” Jimin spoke while typing at the same time.

“Wait Jimin, don’t you think these are a bit too straightforward?” you asked. Jimin stopped typing and looked at you dead in the eye. “Are you kidding me? This is how a confession works, hello?” Jimin answered, full of irony. Through the corner of your eye, you saw Yangyang scoffing.

“Okay so next,” Jimin started typing again “you need to ask him the important stuff, which is what he thinks of you. And that includes what his first impression of you was, how attractive he finds you and how much he likes your personality.”

“How about we ask him something like ‘Is this awkward?’ because trust me, it probably is” you were the one who suggested a question this time.

Jimin wasn’t entirely sure if you were joking or not, be she agreed and typed it after the previous one. “Now, let’s end it with a precious moment between the two of you. One that he remembers, it might be anything” Jimin said.

She typed fast, her fingers running on top of the keyboard. Her eyes never left the screen, following the letters without even peaking at the keyboard to see what she was typing. She then pressed the enter key with all her strength and sat back on her chair. “And we’re done. It’s sent” she said.

The moment she said that the quiz was sent, you started trembling. You didn’t feel nervous up until that point. What if everything went downhill after this? It’s just a stupid quiz, you thought. Sure, the quiz was stupid, but your crush wasn’t. You were worried that once Dongyuck sees the quiz, he’ll start seeing you differently. You were only hoping that this differently didn’t mean negative, because if it did, your entire relationship with him would change. And you didn’t want to lose such an important person in your life over a not-so-stupid crush.

You didn’t see Donghyuck on campus the next day. You were sure about it because ever since Jimin sent him the confession quiz, he hasn’t left your mind. You kept looking for him everywhere but not because you wanted to see him. It was rather the opposite. You knew that if you saw his face after knowing that you had confessed to him, you wouldn’t be able to utter a single word. You avoided him.

You had to thank him, though, for making your job easier. Not a single sight of him on campus for the entire day. Good news.

But the bad news was that he didn’t text you throughout the day at all, which was odd. He would usually ask to meet at the park, or just text you about not anything of importance. But there was no sign of him that day.

A lot of thoughts formed in your mind at the same time. In the worst case scenario, there was something wrong with him. In the best case scenario, he felt way too awkward because of the confession quiz and he didn’t want to do anything with you. You couldn’t explain how this was the best case scenario, but you were worried sick about him. So you hoped for the latter.

You didn’t want to text him or call him though. You wanted to avoid him, right? Your current behavior didn’t match the confidence you had a couple days ago. It felt like you were more intimate with him now, you had exposed a piece of your inner self and you were scared that your actions would make him feel uncomfortable.

Yet, you decided to give him time. You wanted to wait for his response. Whatever it would be. You thought that your confession would help you ease your mind, but you’ve been thinking about him even more now. What if he didn’t feel the same? Of course, you would respect his feelings. You can’t force people to like you, or love you. But deep down, you knew it would hurt. You would still continue to love him even if he didn’t love you back. You cannot turn on and off feelings like a light switch. Loving him took a long time and getting over him would take even longer. You didn’t want to get over him. You probably couldn’t. So you wanted to keep loving him and hoped that maybe, there was a slight chance that he would love you back.

However, you didn’t see Donghyuck on campus the day after that either. But this time, you didn’t know if it was because you were avoiding him or because he just didn’t come to any of his classes.

Worry washed over you when neither Yangyang or Jimin had heard of him. “I thought he would be talking with you” Yangyang told you. Yeah, you thought the same thing.

After your classes ended for the day, you decided to go by his dorm and see him in person. You still felt like avoiding him but you didn’t have another choice at this point. You wanted to see him.

You put on your earphones and let the music keep you company while walking. Your heart rate was slowly increasing with each step you took, but you couldn’t explain if it was because you felt anxious or because your heart followed the beat of the music.

After listening to a couple of songs, you found yourself standing right outside Donghyuck’s dorm door. Taking off your earphones, you stood there still, waiting. You raised your arm hesitantly, knuckles touching the wooden surface of the door. You slightly pulled your hand away from the door and then your knuckles touched the door again.

Knock. Knock.

You drew a step back, arm falling to your side. And you waited.

One, two, three, four, five, si-

Donghyuck appeared behind the door, wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a t-shirt, hair messy and eyes droopy.

“Hi, um, sorry d-did I wake you up?” you said.

“Um, no it’s fine, uh, is there something wrong?” Donghyuck said, rubbing his eye with his fingers.

And then you noticed the flush color painting his cheeks and the way he kept his eyes on the ground, not trying to maintain eye contact.

“I was just worried, you know? We haven’t seen you in two days and I just wanted to see if you-“

“I’m fine Y/n, there’s nothing to worry about, now please, I was in the middle of something so, uh, I’ll see you later, bye” Donghyuck interrupted you and closed the door right in your face, without even sparing you a glance.

What was this all about? Why was he acting like this?

You blinked away the tears that were forming in the corners of your eyes and walked away.

“Girl, you’re not the one avoiding him, he’s the one avoiding you!” Jimin said, munching on a cheeseburger. 

She swallowed her bite and spoke again. “What I think is, he’s in love with you too, but he’s an even bigger coward than I thought he was. I believe he got so flustered by the quiz we sent him, but don’t worry, he’ll come to his senses sooner or later.”

You rested your head on your palm and sighed heavily. “I don’t know Jiminie, his behavior is so confusing lately. I kinda regret sending him that quiz”.

“Uh oh, don’t say that again. You confessed and well done for that, so now it’s up to him to decide how the relationship between you two will go. Don’t blame yourself for how a man thinks. You never know what goes on inside those pea sized brains of theirs” Jimin said.

“So you say that he’s ignoring me because he likes me back?” you asked, a question which was addressed more to yourself.

“That's exactly what I’m saying,” Jimin said. “I mean, he couldn’t even look at you and his cheeks were all blushy and stuff? Girl, do we see the same things? Because this clearly shows he has lost his shit over you.”

You remained silent for a while, leaving Jimin to eat her cheeseburger in peace and allowing yourself to sort all of your thoughts that were scrambled inside your mind. Maybe she was right. Again. Her intuition regarding people’s feelings and behaviors is remarkable. She always left you wondering how she could be so good at reading other people.

You thought you were good at it too, until this boy named Lee Donghyuck came into your life. It wasn't that hard to understand him as a little boy, but now that you’re all adults, it seems like he has built walls around his heart and it’s not easy to read him anymore. The problem was that you didn’t know why he did this. He used to allow himself to be open and vulnerable with you. At least you thought so.

Now you are left wondering what’s in his mind and what is it that makes him act this way. Was the quiz that awkward? Did he see you in a different way now?

Questions like this kept messing with you and you wished you could unsend that quiz if it were to prevent this outcome. But you decided to give him a little bit more time. You were friends after all, right? Friends always come back to each other, no matter what. Right?

The next couple of days Donghyuck had been ignoring you still. Jimin said there was no point in feeling sad about it and that he would just snap one moment and realize what an asshole he was.

You hadn’t told Yangyang about any of that. He had mentioned the quiz once, asking you something like how you made it and what you wrote exactly, but nothing more specific about Donghyuck. So you decided to let it go, he wouldn’t understand anyway.

You were sitting at the park alone, leaning against a tree while watching the sun slowly hiding behind the hill, waiting for the moon to rise and take its place in the sky. The cheerful screams of little kids were gradually fading away and the park was becoming quieter, the only sound interrupting the silence from time to time was the barking of dogs.

You felt peaceful. You found a moment in time to have for yourself, a small escape from all of last week’s dramatic events. You breathed in the fresh air, you let your body relax and your mind roam around the scenery of nature in front of you.

This inner serenity didn’t last long though. Your phone chimed in your pocket and the screen lit up, the intense brightness hurting your eyes due to the contrast with the now darker sky.

You lowered the brightness in order to take a better look at the text on your screen. You squinted your eyes a bit further, this time not because of the brightness.

[Hyuck]

i really need to talk to you

it’s important

you know where to find me

i’m at your favorite place

You kept rereading Donghyuck’s texts over and over. So he ignores me for days and now all of a sudden he wants us to meet and he puzzles me with a riddle? What the hell?

You turned off your phone and stared blankly in front of you, trying to think of what place Donghyuck was talking about. You didn’t even care about what he wanted to tell you. You had to find him first.

The gears inside your brain got to work, spinning quickly and digging through your memories to help you find the answer. But you were already in your favorite place. The park. At least it was your favorite at the moment. So if he were at the park, where could he be? You would be able to see him by now.

The gears in your brain suddenly stopped moving and the light bulb shone brightly above your head. You knew exactly where he was. And it wasn’t the park. You grabbed your things quickly and rushed out of the park, heading towards the place you could never imagine that you’ll ever see again.

You had been walking for only ten minutes and your legs were hurting and started feeling wobbly. The one time you actually needed your bike, you didn’t have it. A sigh left your lips and you continued walking, looking at your phone from time to time in case Donghyuck texted you something else or called you.

You could tell that you were almost there by the red and gold lighting attacking your eyes, contrasting with the darkness of your surroundings. You squinted your eyes as a reaction to the sudden appearance of light, walking towards the source of red and gold. The smell of butter popcorn lured you in and that’s how you knew you were at the exact place you needed to be.

You stood under the bright sign, the same white balloons climbing up the pillars on each side of the gate, confetti sprinkled and glued in between them, fairy lights trailing upwards to the glowing sign. ‘Welcome to Dreamland’.

You stood in awe. You never thought you would visit this place again. It's been years since the last time you visited the amusement park and it felt strange yet so familiar sitting there, looking at the place that felt like your childhood home.

Your eyes were roaming around and you just stood still, not moving a single step further. For a moment, you had forgotten the reason why you were there in the first place.

The scent of the familiar cologne was roaming in the air, snapping you out of your thoughts. Donghyuck cleared his throat and you turned around to face him.

He looked beautiful. The lights of the amusement park were reflecting in his eyes, his hair fell softly covering his forehead, his plump lips curved upwards to a smile.

You noticed that he held his arms behind his back, but you didn’t question it. You just stared right into his eyes, just like he stared into yours. “Hi” he said, his voice blurred among the music and random screams from little kids running around the amusement park.

“Hi” you greeted him back, and then both of you remained silent, looking at each other. Your eyes started stinging from keeping them open for a long time, so you lowered your gaze to your feet.

Donghyuck sensed the awkwardness and cleared his throat again before he spoke up. “I’m sorry, Y/n” he said.

Your head jolted up at the sound of his honey voice and your gaze locked in with his. You parted your lips to speak, but he beat you to it. “I’m sorry. I know my behavior was shit. I was an asshole. I was ignoring you when I shouldn’t. I’m surprised that you came to see me after the way I treated you. So thank you" he said.

You didn’t want to speak. You didn’t have the courage to do so, but you also didn’t know what to tell him. Instead, you waited for him to continue talking.

Donghyuck’s gaze shifted from your eyes to other places around him and he pursed his lips. “You know, I received that quiz you sent me” he trailed off.

You gulped at the mention of the quiz and suddenly your heartbeat picked up a pace so fast that was probably beyond human.

“I didn’t-” Donghyuck started, “I didn’t send it back to you because I wanted to answer it now, with you here” he said.

You found yourself incapable of speaking at that moment. You simply nodded and diverted your gaze back to your feet.

“Please look at me Y/n” Donghyuck said and you froze, slowly lifting your head to see him looking directly at you. You could tell he was nervous by the way he inhaled sharply and the soft red color that painted his cheeks.

“I didn’t know you felt this way about me,” he started, “so when I saw that quiz I was so troubled. Maybe you were obvious with it, maybe not, but what’s certain is that I was too nervous around you to even notice anything.”

You tried to process his words and come to a conclusion. Everything that came out of his mouth didn’t make sense to you. Why would he be nervous around me?

Donghyuck gulped and continued. “Do you remember how we met?” he asked, but the question was mostly addressed to himself rather than you. You smiled at the memory. How could you forget such a pretty boy?

“It was here, this exact place. We were both running, we bumped into each other, fell down and then dropped your cotton candy” he said and started laughing. You did the same.

“And then we became friends. Inseparable friends. You have always been the sweetest friend I’ve ever had. You are kind, funny, you make me feel comfortable, you’re always there for me even though I behave so shitty sometimes” he said.

“And you’re so beautiful. I find myself staring at you when you’re looking away and I just ask myself how can a person be this beautiful” he said, his voice getting gradually quieter, just a little bit louder than a whisper.

“Do you know why I stopped contacting you when I left?” Donghyuck asked, this time the question addressed to you.

You cleared your throat before speaking, voice barely audible. “No.” It was the first time you spoke after greeting him.

Donghyuck shifted a bit, balancing his weight on one leg. “Because I liked you so much I couldn’t bear talking to you, knowing that I wasn’t able to see you, touch you and tell you how much I missed you” he said. “I thought that maybe, if I didn’t talk to you again, maybe it would hurt less than it did.”

You felt your lips drying, eyes widening upon hearing these words. This can’t be real. Yes, you wanted him to like you back, but you never expected it to be true. Even if you believed in a slight chance that he might like you back, it never occurred to you that it might actually be true.

“Hyuck, what are you talking about?” you asked him, not believing a single word he was saying.

“I’m talking about how much I like you, Y/n. Fuck, I might even be in love with you. I don’t know, I always get this weird feeling around you and I can’t get it to stop! I keep thinking about you and how I want to be able to kiss you without finding excuses with these stupid spin the bottle games! I like you so fucking much Y/n, I don’t know how to act.”

You stood still, frozen. So this is really happening, you thought. All this time you were worried about your feelings for Donghyuck when he was feeling the exact same way towards you. Your heart fluttered to the sound of his confession and you felt like smiling so hard until your cheeks hurt.

“Please say something Y/n” Donghyuck whispered. You didn’t say anything though. You didn’t have to. Instead, you took a couple steps further and stood right in front of him, placing your hands on each side of his neck, smacking your lips onto his.

He responded immediately, parting his lips slightly to kiss you back. He removed one arm from behind his back to cup your cheek with his hand and he kissed you gently and genuinely.

The knot in your stomach was untied, releasing the butterflies it had been holding in for so long. Donghyuck’s plump lips moved in sync with yours, his soft touch on your cheek sending streaks of warmth down your entire body.

You slowly pulled back to catch your breath, looking at him in his eyes, both of you smiling as hard as ever. “Of course I like you too, dumbass. I’ve liked you ever since I met you.” You said and Donghyuck smiled even harder than before, if it was even possible.

You removed your hands from his neck, dropping them to your side. “What is behind your back?” you asked him eagerly.

Donghyuck dropped his hand from your cheek too and brought his other arm from behind his back, only to reveal a stick of fluffy pink cotton candy.

Your eyes widened at the sight. It was the last thing you expected to see.

“You know, I promised to buy you one because I had dropped it when we bumped into each other, but I never had the chance to do that, so...” Dongyuck said and you slammed your body into his arms, grinning hard and laughing.

You squeezed him tightly and he returned your embrace, wrapping his arms around your waist, his head finding its way to rest in the crook of your neck.

“I think I love you, Donghyuck” you softly said in his ear.

Donghyuck’s grip on you tightened more and he breathed in. “Y/n, I know I love you” he said, just loud enough so that you and only you could hear him.

Donghyuck pulled back slightly so that he could see your face. He was still holding you tightly, as if he physically couldn’t let you go. As you were lost in the pool of honey in his eyes, he spoke with a low voice. “Do you think you’ll finally be able to beat me in bumper cars?” he said.

You laughed at his question and his smile grew wider to the sound. “No, you’re too slow. I actually pity you” you said.

Donghyuck poked the inside on his cheek with his tongue and raised his eyebrow at your answer. “Oh yeah? Let’s find out, bitchass” he said and linked his fingers with yours to guide you to the amusement park.

Just like that, your heart was full. It was right at the place it needed to be from the very beginning. It was finally home.

The doorbell chimed behind you and a chill breeze entered the inside of the diner for a brief second. You didn’t have to turn your head to realize that a group of high school kids entered the diner, their voices were too loud and annoying. You rolled your eyes and popped a french fry into your mouth.

It’s been about two weeks since you and Donghyuck made it official. You agreed to start a relationship that very night you confessed to each other outside the amusement park. Donghyuck only agreed to go out with you if he won three consecutive races at the bumper cars ride. Turns out you ended up crashing his car in every single round, but Donghyuck kept on saying that he didn’t really mean what he said and kissed you into agreeing to go on another date with him.

You were happy. Ever since you started dating, you found yourself enjoying the time you spent with Donghyuck even more than you did before. It’s not that many things changed, it was mostly the same things you used to do. The only difference was that neither of you was afraid to express their true feelings anymore.

You and Donghyuck were sitting next to each other at the diner booth. Donghyuck had his arm wrapped around your shoulder, while he used his other arm to grab french fries from the bowl on your table. You agreed to buy just one bowl of french fries to ease your appetite before you ordered your actual meals.

Donghyuck was talking to you about the drive-in cinema that will start working again next week. He said that they would be playing one of his favorite movies, so he practically begged you to go with him and treat it as a date as well.

“What are you guys talking about?” you heard Jimin’s voice and you looked up to see that she had just arrived with Yangyang standing there next to her. 

“Oh hey guys, we didn’t hear you entering. I was telling Y/n about the drive-in, it’ll be open again next week. Wanna go-wait-” Donghyuck started saying, but he cut himself off when he noticed that Yangyang was holding Jimin’s hand.

“Dude what?” Donghyuck asked again and you sat there staring at your friends with eyes wide open. Jimin and Yangyang were grinning at your and Donghyuck’s reactions, before they went to sit on the booth opposite of yours.

“Yup, it is exactly what you think it is. Now, what were you saying about the drive-in?” Yangyang casually joined in the conversation without addressing the matter that clearly needed to be addressed.

“Jimin, why didn’t you tell me about this? How long have you guys been going out?” you said smiling at your friends.

“Not that long, just a few days after you guys. See, I was going to tell you about it Y/n, but Yangyang thought it would be funnier if we just showed up one random day like this and let you guys figure it out on your own” Jimin said and Yangyang kissed her forehead before wrapping his arm around her shoulder.

“Yeah, turns out that stupid quiz you girls thought of works wonders” Yangyang said and popped one french fry that he stole from the bowl.

“Wait, Yangyang, you were the one to send Jimin the quiz? Oh how the tables turn” you said and he waved you off.

You weren’t even the slightest bit surprised that Yangyang and Jimin were dating now. Honestly, it was quite obvious that there was something going on between them, but both of them were way too stubborn to admit it. Was it that way with you and Donghyuck too?

The four of you spent time at the diner that night. The feeling of being carefree and relaxed around your friends reminded you of the time you used to spend all together back in high school. It really felt as if you never lost touch with one another, everything was back to normal. Except this time, your heart felt at ease too.

It was getting quite late and the diner was almost empty now. The four of you didn’t really have the heart to check the time and make a move to get up and leave, you were having way too much time to just call it a night.

You had now ordered a second round of drinks, non-alcoholic though because none of you was really that good at staying sober. Instead, you just stuck with fizzy drinks and sodas.

Yangyang emptied out his second bottle of coke before he slammed it on the table. He licked his lips and sighed. “Wow, this was a good one” he said. But this wasn’t the only thing he had in mind. You could tell by the smugness of his expression.

Yangyang smirked and then lifted his head to flash one of his signature wide grins. “I don’t wanna go home yet, guys. So, who’s up for a game of spin the bottle?” he asked.

Jimin kicked his leg under the table, Donghyuck sat up and smacked him in the head and you stretched your arm to pinch his nose. The four of you burst out laughing, thinking about how things would have turned out if it wasn’t for Yangyang’s stupid ideas.

TAGS: @matchahyuck @peachjaem00 @hyuckieslove @bbyyhyuck @vdollys @positionslab @renjun-fairy @back2jisung @xxxx-23nct @jisungxident @smwhrinthehaze @tgnctzen131 @ridinhyuck @comfzo @daincty @aquamxrina @cas104 @annenakamura @jellymoonbear @nmyarhs @wakasays @hiraarri @myst-03 @meltinghershey @sundamariis @milkpier @kookiedesi @yipyipmorals @yvnjin-s @liliansun @peachyarpakka @06hee @cacaubs @emptynote @hyuckjensung @nanasfavenctzen @hearteyes4ji @the-midnight-arthouse @fairiejjk @idkbrohaha @n0hyuck

join my taglist here !!

#kflixnet #neowritingsnet #k-labels #haechan fluff #nct haechan #nct dream #haechan x reader #lee haechan #haechan #nct dream fluff #haechan angst #nct fanfic #haechan fanfic #nct scenarios #nct drabbles #nct fic #nct timestamps #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct angst #lee donghyuck #lee donghyuk x reader #nct 127 #nct 127 fluff

[happilyhertale]

Emerald eyes - Aemond Targaryen x fem!stark-reader

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!stark-reader

Warnings: Fluff

Author’s note:

This story was requested a long time ago... But since the events at the weekend got me out of my Daemon rabbit hole a bit, this story is now finished! English is my second language, soo.. please forgive me if I made any mistakes (:

Word count: 1.8 k

Other stories of mine

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Aemond struggled with the idea of marrying a woman from the North. The prospect of entering into an alliance based solely on affection seemed incomprehensible to him, and the idea of marrying a woman from the North only made him more confused. However, Queen Alicent's persistent persuasion had convinced him of the importance of such an alliance and made him realise the unpredictability of the future.

The imminent demise of King Viserys, which would occur sooner or later, emphasised the need to keep the North as a firm ally before the North swore allegiance to Rhaenyra and her kin. Aemond recognised the duty of securing the North's loyalty and finally thought the idea of marriage made sense.

As he stood in the keep that warm morning and his mother fussed over his appearance, Aemond could not suppress a sigh of mild annoyance.

"Mother, could you please desist?," he finally muttered.

"If you didn't carry yourself with such disarray, I wouldn't need to rectify the creases," she replied in a hushed tone. "And you smell like your dragon again," she added.

Aemond's lips drew together into a thin line.

"Just because I am to be married, I fail to see why I should cease riding Vhagar," he retorted

Before Alicent could say anything in reply, the gates opened and a carriage rolled into the courtyard, the gravel crunching under the horses' wheels and hooves. And a spark of anticipation suddenly flared up in Aemond as he thought about what you would look like. Would he feel a pang of excitement when he looked into your eyes, as he did with certain captivating eyes? Would he enjoy hearing the timbre of your voice as you talked about your day? Or would it be a marriage of convenience, characterised only by superficial politeness?

When the carriage came to a halt and nothing happened, Aemond wanted to take matters into his own hands and open the door. But a servant beat him to it. The door swung open and shortly afterwards Lord Rickon Stark stepped out.

"Lord Stark, it is a pleasure to welcome you to the south," Alicent greeted him. Aemond, however, was mesmerised by the sight of the brown locks of hair that peeked out from behind Lord Stark. He leant slightly to the side to catch a glimpse of your eyes and Aemond's world came to a standstill. The most beautiful green eyes he had ever seen met his gaze, and an involuntary gulp betrayed his astonishment. The thought of acquiring the most exquisite emeralds in the world for you crossed his mind, but was immediately dismissed, as any emerald in the world would be considered insufficient, as it would not do your eyes justice.

The impulse to forgo his Valyrian features in order to pass on those enchanting green eyes to his future children flashed through him, accompanied by a sudden wave of uncertainty.

What if you found him repulsive? A tightness enveloped his chest and he longed to grab his mother's arm to steady himself - the chaos of emotions inside him was just too much. But all his worries vanished into thin air when your green eyes met his and you simply smiled. Aemond's lips mirrored your smile, and regardless of propriety, the two of you stood in front of each other and exchanged smiles.

"Prince Aemond," you finally said softly, and Aemond had to suppress a groan of pleasure when he heard your gentle voice.

"Lady y/n," left his lips instead, and Alicent responded almost simultaneously.

"Lady y/n. Forgive my son's manners. He was busy with his dragon, as usual, instead of preparing a proper greeting for his betrothed," Alicent added with an almost feigned gentleness.

Aemond gave Alicent an incredulous look. He didn't want you to think he wasn't interested in you. But before he could elaborate on that thought, you steered the conversation again.

"You're riding Vhagar, aren't you? The greatest dragon in Westeros?" you asked quietly.

Aemond nodded slightly, "Yes, a very old, stubborn lady.. but incredibly loyal," he replied, "If you want, I can introduce you to her," he added almost shyly.

And contrary to his expectations, you nodded eagerly and your smile widened.

"I would love to meet her, my prince," you replied.

Aemond nodded briefly in agreement.

"Follow me, Lady y/n," he said, turning slightly and extending his arm to you. You accepted the invitation with a shy smile, leaving Alicent and Lord Stark pleasantly surprised at the obvious harmony between the two of you.

Together you strolled to Rhaeny's hill, and with each step Aemond's excitement grew as to how you would react to Vhagar. Your attention remained on Aemond, however, and your thoughts wavered between the stories you had heard about him and the surprising reality that was unfolding before you.

You've heard so many terrible stories about Aemond. Many were told to you by your brother, mostly to tease you, but they still made you nervous. You were afraid that his face would be so disfigured that you wouldn't be able to look at him. That his seriousness and his petulant moments would rob you of your happiness. But he seemed completely different. His face left you speechless - but not because it was so horrible, but because you thought he was somehow handsome.

Contrary to your initial fears, his disfigured face turned out to be strangely handsome. The eye patch gave him an air of mystery, and his violet eye beamed at you joyfully. His lips were curled into a smile that made your knees weak. And now you were holding his arm, feeling his warmth, and you couldn't be happier. Captivated by his stories, you weren't distracted by his appearance - at least not too much. He talked enthusiastically about Vhagar and all the things she had experienced in her two hundred years on this world, and you couldn't get enough of it. Although you already knew a few stories about Vhagar, Aemond told you that she is probably the only known dragon without large horns on her head. She only has small outgrowths on the back of her head. He grinned enthusiastically at you and told you that he had written this information down for posterity. Your grin widened as you felt his pleasure literally bubble through your body, and somehow you felt the urge to get closer to his lips... you had to imagine how his lips would feel on yours.

As you clung to his arm, mesmerised by his tales of Vhagar, the dragon pit grew larger and larger in the distance.

You were brought back to reality as you stood in front of the huge walls of the dragon pit. Suddenly you felt the excitement again and grabbed Aemond's arm a little more. You entered the pit and went deeper inside. You had never seen a dragon before and were curious to see what effect it would have on you. But when you spotted the outline of an island in the far corner of the pit, your eyes widened.

You don't want to let go of Aemond, but he is now standing in front of you and you instinctively reach for his hand. You missed his slight smile as you reached for his hand, and the admiration for your courage in his eyes as your gaze remained fixed on Vhagar. Aemond also refocused on Vhagar and slowly walked towards her. You walked behind Aemond, sure that he would feel how wet your palm was by now, but you didn't care at the moment. Aemond lifted his other hand slightly and spoke soothingly to Vhagar in a foreign language. The dragon's huge head slowly lifted and completely mesmerised you - she was so beautiful.

Even though you were aware that she was the largest and oldest dragon in the world, standing in front of her was very different to just reading about her. You walked closer to her until suddenly you were standing next to this mountain of a dragon. Aemond watched your features closely. The way you smiled, even though your breathing was a little faster. The way your emerald eyes no longer shone for him, but for the figure in front of you, made him smile. He would feel jealousy if it had been anyone other than Vhagar.

When you suddenly reached out to touch Vhagar, his eyes widened. Just as he was about to say something, Vhagar turned her big head towards you. You stopped moving and breathing, but your hand remained on Vhagar. You looked straight into her big eyes, Aemond didn't say anything either and watched the scene carefully. But then Vhagar simply turned her head away, as if she was bored. You exhaled in relief, a soft giggle escaped your lips and you looked at Aemond, who was also smiling in relief. Slowly, you began to stroke the scales of her body. Aemond was impressed by you, by your enthusiasm, by your courage. He could never have imagined that a woman could be so interested in Vhagar, let alone in him.

The journey of your fingers continued as you explored the dragon's scales.

"How does it feel?" whispered Aemond suddenly. Your green eyes met his, your hand still on Vhagar.

"So warm.. Hard.. but warm," you said softly. "A complete contrast to the fur of a direwolf," you added.

He smiled at you and nodded slightly.

"Impressive, isn't it?" he whispered, "How such a large animal covered in scales can be so warm."

You could only nod, your hand continuing to run gently over the scales, feeling every crevice in each scale your fingers stroked.

"It's from the fire inside her, you know? It radiates through her, right into her scales..." he whispered, suddenly placing his hand over yours. The warmth now flooded your hand from both sides.

"... And when you sit on her, your whole body is flooded with her warmth..." he continued to whisper, your faces so close. Fascinated by his words, you felt his warm breath on your skin, his fingers gliding gently over yours.

"I would love to experience that..." you whispered.

He nodded slightly when he heard your words, "As soon as we're married, I'll take you with me. We'll ride Vhagar together whenever you want... " he whispered. Your lips almost touched and you felt your breathing getting heavier.

"... How does that sound?" Aemond whispered, barely perceptible.

A slight nod on your part serves as an answer and you notice how his eyes keep wandering to your lips.

"When we're married..." you finally whispered. And then your lips met. Your lips moved around each other in a literal embrace - touched cautiously at first, but became bolder with each movement, becoming more and more confident. The lips that you were both sure would be with you for the rest of your lives.

· · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

Taglist:

@hoshi-miharu-blog @arryn-nyx @aemonds-eyeball @praline357 @melsunshine @drinking-tea-and-be-obsessed @lauftivy @valeskafics  @believeinthefireflies95 @snh96 @echos-muses

#aemond x y/n #ewan mitchell #hotd #aemond fanfiction #aemond imagine #aemond x you #aemond targaryen #aemond fic #aemond fanfic #house of the dragon #hotd imagine #hotd fanfic #aemond targaryen x you #aemond fluff #aemond targaryen imagine #house of the dragon aemond #aemond one eye #prince aemond #prince aemond targaryen #hotd aemond x reader #aemond the kinslayer #house of the dragon imagine #house of the dragon x reader #aemond kinslayer #aemond targaryen fanfiction #aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen fanfic #aemond #hotd fic #hotd aemond

[argumentativeaxolotl]

Random Human AU Cars headcanons that probably don’t make any sense before I go to bed bc I can.

Lightning McQueen:

- Has accidentally called Doc “dad” before

- Has accidentally called Strip “dad” as well

- Bro can literally not stop moving- like he will not sit still and he tries so hard

- He has the shortest attention span ever if it doesn’t have to do with his friends or racing

- He actually really enjoys American Football and plays a modified version with Mater sometimes

- He was an orphan growing up

- Bro would 100% go apeshit feral if he lost a game of Uno

- Loves carnivals

- Dog person

- Forgets he’s rich sometimes and he can make his own decisions about money

- His love language is hugs and gifts

- He bought the Hot Wheels of his car and continues to buy every variation

Chick Hicks:

- Bit other kids as a child

- Filled water guns with lemonade and shot at people’s eyes

- Daddy issues(actually this is canon isn’t it?)

- Cat person

- Frighteningly good at card games like Casino “house always wins” levels of good. Like bro will somehow know what your cards are without even looking at them

- He put rocks in snowballs

- Alcoholic

- Loves anything horror, gorey, and True Crime

- He’s notoriously bad at getting people gifts, like seriously bro is not allowed to buy anything for anyone for Christmas or their birthdays that’s how bad it is(someone usually gets it for him)

- He probably has a huge gambling problem

- His love language is giving gifts

- He gives gifts as a form of apology because he’s shit at words

- Literally the best mustache in all of cars- like he keeps that thing at top condition 101% of the time

- He never actually finished school because his dad forced him into racing as soon as he could

- Probably had rabies at one point and somehow survived

- If you somehow manage to become a good friend of his, he’ll actually be super chill w/ you

- Rich as FUCK

Strip Weathers:

- Legally adopted Cal after his parents passed away(or sumn idk)

- Has several scars on his arm from the crash during the tie-breaker race

- He, Tex, Lynda, and Cal were practically inseparable after the crash

- He and Tex are literally the bestest of buds like they are homies to the MAX

- He doesn’t hold any ill-will against Chick even if he should and is allowed to

- The “Boy Scout” of racing(think Superman or Captain America)

- He listens to “Old Town Road” by Lil Nas X while working with his horses. Cal cringes every time.

- He never swears unless he’s serious about something or is extremely upset or concerned

- He almost fainted when he met Doc for the first time, almost immediately asking for an autograph

- He has a ranch full of horses and enjoys horse racing as well as car racing

- Received an apology gift of both cologne and a miniature trophy from Chick

- He let Chick sign his cast after the crash

- He’s tried to teach Lightning and Bobby how to ride horses with Cal’s help. It did not go well

- He wanted to be a doctor for a little while before switching career paths

- Racing is literally in his blood(he comes from a very VERY long line of racers)

- Weirdly good at writing. Like for no reason.

- He heavily fanboyed over Doc when he was younger

Doc Hudson:

- He loves Lightning as his son

- He thinks of Sally as a surrogate daughter

- Unironically says “back in my day” whenever he’s telling a story

- He owns a shotgun and it’s hidden away in his house, far away from Lightning(who keeps trying to find it with no luck)

- He knows the most shit out of everyone and all their backstories. Bro hears the gossip and goes “nice”

- He loves watching fruit dissection videos on YouTube for some reason

- Bro is great at knitting. Like seriously. Give him ten seconds and you’ll have a whole ass sweater with a theme and everything

- He is an alcoholic(especially after his crash)

- Never got married or had children… until Lightning and Sally lmaooo

- He nearly started crying tears of joy when Lightning called him dad the first time

- He has several large burns and scars on his legs and lower back from the crash(like shit is really bad dude)

- His favorite movie is the original ghost busters

- He is a cat person

- He is a neat freak at heart yet gave up trying to clean out his garage because of all the bad memories

#cars 2006 #human lightning mcqueen #humanized cars #chick hicks #headcanon #lightning mcqueen headcanon #chick hicks headcanon #humanized chick hicks #doc hudson #strip weathers #humanized strip weathers #humanized doc Hudson #headcanons #humanization #I’m really tired lmao #it’s like 1 am #i’m very tired #lmaooo

[linguisticdiscovery]

Linguists discover previously-unknown Indo-European language!

Linguists and archaeologists have just discovered a previously-unknown Indo-European language!

Prof. Daniel Schwemer (Julius-Maximilians-Universität) discovered texts written in a language known as Kalasma among the 30,000 cuneiform tablets excavated at the UNESCO World Heritage Site Boğazköy-Hattusha (once the capital of the Hittite empire) in north-central Turkey.

The language likely belongs to the Anatolian branch of the Indo-European language family.

Further Reading: The horse, the wheel, and language

#linguistics #language #archaeology #history #lingblr #langblr

[mynameisjessejk]

Not A Hero

There were sails on the horizon.

Maedhros stared out to sea for a moment longer, the salt breeze keeping the smoke from his nose. It was quiet behind him. That was good thing, but it sat like lead in his stomach. In a moment, he would have to turn back, but he took one moment to look at the sea, the sunset, and the sails.

“Lord Maedhros,” Iorthomes said.

Maedhros nodded once to the ocean, and turned back.

Sirion burned, but the fires wouldn’t spread. When they were gone, the survivors would return, and the aid from Balar would find them. It was time to go.

“The pyres are finished,” Iorthomes said. “And the troops are marshaling on the east road.”

“Maglor?” Maedhros asked.

Iorthomes inclined her head.

Maedhros followed her gaze to his brother—now his only brother—already mounted up in Sirion’s main square. There was a child before him on Crabanil's withers. A second clung to his waist from behind.

Maglor set his jaw, chin lifting.

A thousand things passed between them in a glance, something deeper and more terrible than Osanwe, born of exposure, proximity, and love over long years of joy and pain. Maedhros let his brother see his snarl, but nodded once, sharply, and turned for his destrier.

“It’s all right,” Maglor murmured to the children.

Ahorse, Maedhros turned back to the three of them, and saw two small faces peering at him. Twins. The orc stabbing him had hurt less. To his brother, he snapped, “When you tell them you saved them, will you tell them what you saved them from?” Then he heeled his mount and headed for the east road.

Behind him, Maglor told the children, “It’s all right. He’s angry right now, but with me, not with you. And with Morgoth most of all, so probably he’ll find some orcs to hunt on the way home and feel better for it.”

Iorthomes said, “There’s no one alive who’s killed more monsters and fell creatures than Lord Maedhros.”

“Really?” one of the twins asked.

Maedhros’ teeth ground together, and he wheeled his horse to block his brother’s path. “Don’t paint me a hero, Kano,” he snarled in Quenya.

The twins both squeaked.

Maglor snorted. “No,” he agreed in the same tongue. “We’re both of us the villains in their story,” he acknowledged, nodding at the children he was still cradling gently. “But they’ve no one else, so if they deserve better, we shall just have to do the best we can.”

“What language is that?” one of them asked.

“It’s rude to talk about people when they can’t understand,” the other said.

Maglor’s mouth didn’t move, but he very clearly wanted to smile very badly.

Maedhros stared at the mouthy one hard for a moment. The child flinched, but didn’t look away. Maedhros let his smile crack his face. He knew the scar on his mouth, from the retreat from Himring, made the expression more ominous than friendly. “You’re right,” he said mildly in Sindarin. “But I wasn’t talking about you.”

“He was yelling at me about my poor life decisions,” Maglor agreed. “He does that sometimes.”

“Are you going to yell at us?” the mouthy one asked Maedhros.

Maedhros cocked an eyebrow, considering. “Probably,” he said, and then turned his horse to resume the march. “Not the least if you’re noisy in orc-territory, and get us caught by a raiding band.”

 “Are we in orc territory?” the quieter one asked softly.

“Not yet,” Iorthomes said kindly. “You’ll know.”

“He’s a soft touch really,” Maglor said. “You’ll see.”

Secure in the knowledge his back was to them, Maedhros rolled his eyes skyward in despair. Despite himself, something about the younglings made his spirits lift a little.  

#jessewrites #maedhrosmaglorweek #Maedhros #Maglor #gen #Elrond #Elros #tolkien #fanfic #day 4: Heroes and Villains

[agendabymooner]

the scheming schumachers ! arthur l. x ofc (schumacher!ofc)

summary: mick schumacher finally got to have a time with his girlfriend after he lost sight of arthur leclerc, their self designated third wheel. his solution? distract the monegasque with his cousin.

OR sandra ‘sunny’ schumacher was a culprit who somehow managed to catch the eyes of arthur during the austin gp week and needless to say, the monegasque is way beyond ‘down bad’. everyone, including his brothers charles and lorenzo, are clowning him for it. the operation scheming schumachers was on the go and arthur was letting her go for it instead of fighting back.

content warning: use of explicit language, mick schumacher x ofc (barbie blanco) x platonic!arthur, sex joke(s), arthur canonically barked at mick lmao, ralf schumacher’s daughter!ofc, "everyone boo him" vibes, down bad!arthur and charles being a shithead as always, crackfic???

note: let me have this one too 😭 i did this within two hours (slept for an hour) so this is rushed but i might as well do this now instead of never huh

masterlist

tagged barblanco, mickschumacher, ginaschumacher

liked by charles_leclerc, lorenzotl, mickschumacher

user1 new person here— just lurkin

sunnyschumacher helloooo

user2 babes that’s a euphemism for sex 🤠

sunnyschumacher it’s a rather fitting caption instead of getting dicked down in dallas 😭 i’m in austin

davidschumacher i wanna be a cowboy babeeey~ liked by sunnyschumacher

sunnyschumacher why did i actually say it in that voice 🤣🫠

arthur_leclerc save a horse? ride a cowboy? 🤠 liked by sunnyschumacher

sunnyschumacher 🤭

user3 arthur??? making moves???

user4 charles_leclerc come get ur bro 😭

user5 everybody shame arthur 😭😭😭

mickschumacher only the real ones know what happened 😈😈😈 liked by sunnyschumacher

sunnyschumacher 😈😈😈

barblanco you guys are so evil 😂😂 liked by sunnyschumacher

sunnyschumacher but you love us for it, barbie !!!! 🤩🤩

charles_leclerc arthur_leclerc that was kind of shameful tbh 🤧

lorenzotl i agree 🤡

arthur_leclerc WHY AM I GETTING GANGED UP ON?!

landonorris chin up arthur 🤩 the drool’s falling off liked by sunnyschumacher

user6 POOR ARTHUR IS BEING PICKED ON LMFAO HELP—

#arthur leclerc imagine #arthur leclerc smau #arthur leclerc fluff #arthur leclerc x reader #formula one imagine #formula one fic #formula one fanfiction #formula one x oc #f1 fic #f1 imagine #formula one smau #f1 fanfic #f1 smau #f1 fluff #f2 imagine #f2 smau #formula 2 imagine #f2 social media au #f2 instagram au #arthur leclerc ig au #arthur leclerc social media au #formula 1 imagine #formula 2 smau #formula 2 instagram au #f2 x reader #f2 fanfic #f2 ig au #f1 crack #al12 #arthur leclerc

[lifeiskentastic]

Ken x gn!Reader as friends to lovers story

A/n: my first fic on tumblr… and hopefully not the last;) also english is my second language so if you notice a mistake please write to me about it, 'cause i'm just learning and this will help me a lot.

Summary: A real world reader finds a box of vinyl records in Ken's house, which leads to an unexpected turn of events.

Genre: fluff, comfort, friends to lovers;

Song played in fic: Biggest Part of Me by Ambrosia;

World count: 805 words;

Hope you enjoy!

***

"Ken, can I borrow this, please?"

You point to a small box in the corner of Ken's House (and yes, as it turns out, it does really exist), right by the entrance. Although it may look small at first glance, if you take the lid off, you'll be genuinely surprised at how much can this thing hold. How many music records can this thing hold.

"Mmm," Ken turned to you in confusion, distracted from the very important task of destroying all available books about patriarchy (only those that mentioned horses survived).

As soon as Ken realized what you were pointing at, he jumped up and ran over to you.

"Oh, this thing..." He exhaled heavily, as if he didn't know how to describe it: "I brought it from your world... I haven't figured out how to use it yet. But it was fun to play with it in Frisbee, though."

You had to hold back your giggles, knowing full well that the box contained not a Frisbee but rather vinyl records of 80s rock hits.

"Ken... Don't worry, I know what it is, and unfortunately, I wouldn't recommend playing with it."

Ken looks at you in confusion, waiting for an explanation.

"Then what does it do?" Now his face was full of curiosity.

"Oh, it's music." You bit your lip, already anticipating that wave of the cutest delight in the entire universe on Ken's face. "My favorite music, for real. What a coincidence!"

"Ah, so that means we can listen to these little flat wheels?"

As difficult as it was, you still controlled your laughter because you didn't want to hurt your friend's feelings.

"Huh... Yes, Ken, wait a minute, I'll play you something."

You had noticed beforehand that the box contained a modern vinyl record player. The only question was where Ken had gotten it from, but you decided to put that aside for later. There are more important things to do now. For example, the culturalization of the inhabitants of Barbieland for unselfish purposes (or one particular inhabitant of Barbieland for, to be honest, a little bit of selfish purposes)

You could feel Ken's intrigued look on your back as you conscientiously chose which song to start your immersion in the deep culture of the 80s. Of course, you chose the one you thought Ken would like the most. Of course, it was a love song.

As the playful melody began to play on the record player, you were very pleased with yourself. But Ken was still on edge. So you wisely decided to relax him a little.

When the first words of Biggest Part of Me by Ambrosia touched your ears, you gently led the surprised Ken into a dance, grabbing him around the waist with one hand and intertwining your palms with the other. He was a little confused, but he quickly realized what was going on and began to follow your movements. His puzzlement turned into a gentle, homely smile, and those two crystal blue eyes look that always gave you goosebumps.

"It's a nice song." He spoke calmly and quietly, though there was no need for that. "Make a wish, baby, and I will make it come true."

He began to sing along to the beat of dance, which suddenly gave him control of the situation.

"I finally found someone who believes in me." Ken kept staring at you, still smiling gently. "I need your love here, next to me."

It seemed as if with every turn in the dance, your faces were getting closer together. And when you felt that you were crossing the line between friendly dancing and something closer and more romantic, you had to stop it. But you didn't want to.

"You're the biggest part of me".

Immediately after these words, Ken stopped singing. He thought for a moment and then confidently proclaimed:

"Hmm, really," he raised his eyebrows as if he had come to some brilliant conclusion, "I really feel like you are the biggest part of me."

You had to swallow because something strange and incomprehensible was preventing the answer from coming out of your throat. However, when you felt your cheeks burning, you realized that this strange and incomprehensible feeling was embarrassment. A very unusual kind of embarrassment, the kind that you shouldn't normally feel towards a friend.

"M-m", You understood that Ken was waiting for your answer, so you gathered all your willpower into a fist and said, "I feel something similar, Ken."

Ken's smile grew bigger, and his joy radiated from him like rays from the sun.

"I'm, ah, glad to hear that... Does that mean we can continue dancing?"

You smile back. Ken was charging you with positivity just by being there.

"Of course, Ken, as much as you want!"

You were both ready for the next song.

Thanks for reading! I'd also love to hear your ideas for the next Barbie fic, so see ya.)

***

#ken x reader #ryan gosling ken #ken #barbie 2023 #barbie movie #kenergy #ken x you #sorry for the fact that there is really nothing serious here #ken fluff #ken fic #fanfic #barbie #ken barbie #barbie ken #fanfiction #first post

[forever-rogue]

SPOOKY SEASON IS MY FAV!!! how about

maybe i’ll summon a demon so i can hang out with someone. + what I want to be for Halloween is loved

with Eddie, bc he can be so dramatic those two fit so well 🥰 maybe some best friends to lovers where you were going on a date for Halloween but finding out Eddie was going to spend the night alone you cancel and go visit him and feelings happen?

AN | We’ve got some friends to lovers and Halloween goodness! Enjoy 🥰

Warnings | Language

Pairing | Eddie x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.6k

Masterlist | Main, Eddie 

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

"Guess what!" You walked into Eddie's apartment without bothering to knock, knowing it would be unlocked for you, "Edward!"

You beamed when you spotted your best friend in the kitchen, stirring what looked like a pot of macaroni. He stopped what he was doing and looked up at you, his features softening when he realized it was you. You bounced over to him, pressing a kiss to his cheek that made his entire face flush.

"Hey," he playfully swatted your hand away as you tried to get a spoonful of the pasta, "it's almost finished! Hold your horses. What's the big news then?"

"Oh!" You paused for a moment before going into the fridge and pulling out a couple of beers, "oh. I was at work this afternoon, you know as one does, and the new guy I told you about - Seth - he asked if I wanted to go to this big Halloween party with him!"

His face fell almost comically fast as your words washed over him. He tried to keep his cool as you passed him a beer and took a big swig of your own, "l-like a date?"

"Like a date," you confirmed, sighing wistfully, "he's so dreamy. I'm so excited!"

"Wow, that's…umm…great," he clinked the neck of his bottle against yours as he quickly busied himself with finishing dinner. It was your weekly movie and junk food night, but now it seemed like the last thing he wanted to do.

"Did you make any plans yet?" You grabbed some dishes to help him but he pointedly kept his gaze turned away, "I know we usually do something together…maybe you can come with us?"

"I don't want to be a third-wheel!" He snapped louder than you had expected, causing you to recoil, "I-I'm sorry. It's just that…I'm not looking to third wheel all night to you and some guy I've never met."

You gnawed on the inside of your cheek before slowly nodding. Really, you would have rather spent the night with him, but you weren't exactly in a place to be turning down dates. You rarely got asked out on them and you couldn't wait around for Eddie forever. You'd made peace with the fact that you were sure he only viewed you as a friend. And with that, you decided to put in more effort to go on dates and try to find someone. Anything that would hopefully help you to move on and get over Eddie. 

If that was even possible.

"Sorry," you mumbled under your breath as you busied yourself with getting plates and utensils ready. You felt the back of your eyes start to prick with tears, blinking rapidly to make the stinging to go away, "u-umm, what are you thinking about doing for Halloween then?"

"I don't know," his voice dropped to an almost whisper as he started to plate everything up, "maybe I'll summon a demon so I can hang out with someone."

"Eddie-"

"Hey," he turned to you with a little half smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. This time his voice was soft but it just sounded so…off, "its alright - seriously. I'll figure out something to do. Don't worry about it."

"Okay," your skin felt electric as his fingers brushed yours when he handed you the plate. You wanted to say something, something more but when you noticed how he was pointedly avoiding your eyes you didn't push it, "okay."

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Eddie might have told you not to worry about it. But…you worried about it. There was a nagging feeling of guilt in the pit of your stomach that you couldn't shake. And it didn't help that Eddie seems to be pulling away from you little by little. Any time you asked him about it, he pretended like it was all fine. The fact that you knew he was lying made it even worse.

It wasn't until Halloween came around that things came to a head.

You were finishing getting ready for Seth to pick you up to go to the big Halloween party. You were dressed as a pirate, cute and flirty, and ready for some fun. But…something still felt off. You knew what it was but didn't know how to go about it.

Once you finished getting ready, you grabbed the phone and dialed Eddie's number, pacing around as you waited for him to answer. Just before you were sure it would go to the answering machine, he answered.

"Hello?" He didn't sound anything like his normal self and that made your heart constrict.

"Hi Ed," your voice sounded small and his sharp inhale wasn't lost on you, "I just wanted to say hi before I left. You're going to hang out with Robin and Nancy, right?"

"Umm…no. Not anymore," he sounded tense mixed with a hint of sadness. It felt like it made your heart crack. Halloween was Eddie's favorite holiday and the idea that he was spending it alone? Absolutely unacceptable. 

"What happened, Eddie?"

"They're going to a drive-in movie instead and then dinner. Basically a date," you held in your sigh, "they said I could go with them still but obviously…I really don't want to be tagging along on their date either."

"That's awful," you looked at the alarm on your nightstand and contemplated your actions. You had about twenty minutes before Seth was due to pick you up. Suddenly that sounded like the last thing you wanted to do, "listen, I could-"

"No. No. Its fine," his tone suggested that it was anything but fine, "I'll just…figure out something. Probably just stay home and order a pizza or something."

"Eddie-"

"I know you gotta go," he sounded so small and defeated. You hated it, "I'll talk to you later."

"Wait, listen, I-"

Before you could say anything else, Eddie had hung up the phone and you were left listening to the dial tone. That had just made up your mind. 

You picked up the phone again and dialed Seth's number, hoping he hadn't left yet. It was like, all along, you'd secretly been hoping for this to happen. To have an excuse to cancel and go to Eddie.

Oh Eddie. It really always came back to him.

Maybe it was time to tell him.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Eddie groaned at the sound of knocking on his door. It was loud and incessant; he'd just ordered a pizza for fucks' sake. It shouldn’t have been a trick or treater either - he'd put out a giant bowl of candy and he doubted it was empty by now.

He grumbled under his breath as he wrenched open the door, ready to yell at whoever was on the other side. 

"What do you -" his breath caught in his throat when he realized it was you. Big brown eyes looked you up and down as he opened and closed his mouth a few times, "oh."

"Hi Eddie," you didn't wait for him to say or do anything else before throwing your arms around him and wrapping him in a tight hug. You could feel him relax almost immediately as he closed his eyes and sighed softly, "you're not dressed up!"

"Didn't really have a reason to," he exhaled slowly as he buried his face in your neck. The smell of your shampoo and perfume were enough to calm him, "what are you doing here? I thought -"

"I canceled on him," you shrugged it off as he pulled out of your arms, confusion maring his features, "he didn't seem phased really, just kind of went with it. I think I made the right decision."

A small, hopeful smile crossed his features as he stared at his feet. He nodded, mind reeling with possibilities, "why are you here?"

"You know why," before you let your nerves get the better of you, you reached for his hand and took it gently in yours. You could see the way his cheeks turned a pretty shade of pink as he looked at your entwined hands. You couldn't help the nervous giggle that bubbled up as he laced your fingers together, "can I come in?"

"Oh! Right," he pulled you inside and quickly shut the door before leaning against to try and slow down the wild beating of his heart. He studied your pirate costume, "you look cute."

"Thank you," you twirled around to give him a full look, "you're just missing a costume now! The night is young and we can get something together for you and then go out - we can try and go trick or treating! What do you want to be?"

"I…it's stupid. Even as a joke it sounds dumb," he shook his head and avoided your eyes, "forget it."

"I will not," you insisted softly as you reached you over and tenderly put your hand on his cheek, "tell me."

"You won't laugh?"

"I won't laugh," your whispered promise made him feel okay and he swallowed thickly.

"For Halloween….I just want to be loved," he closed his eyes, trying to blink back tears as you looked at him. When he allowed himself to take a peek at you, he saw nothing short of adoration on your face. You weren’t ridiculing him or ready to laugh or make fun of him. 

“I hate to break it to you, but you’re already loved,” and just like that, it all came out and came to light. And it didn’t feel scary or hard at all…it felt so natural and so right. You anxiously rocked back and forth on your heels, “very loved. By a lot of people…but a whole lot by me.”

His eyes opened almost comically wide as he checked to make sure that you weren’t joking and weren’t going to throw a just kidding in there. When he saw that you were dead serious, he stepped closer to you, leaving only a small gap between your bodies. It was the last barrier to cross and once it was, everything would change between the two of you. You knew that it would change everything, but at the same time…you knew things really wouldn’t have been that different at all. It was just the natural progression of things - of your lives.

You knew that Eddie was leaving the last bit up to you - you almost threw yourself into his arms, hugging onto him as tightly as possible without squeezing him to death. He responded in kind, his body melding into yours as you closed your eyes and tried to remind yourself that this was actually happening. This was real.

After a few moments, he pulled back and gently took your face in his large, warm hands. You were beaming at him and if he thought he was in love with you before, it had nothing on this. 

“You’re so pretty,” he brushed his thumb over your cheek, trying to soak in every detail of this moment, “beautiful. I…umm, you are very loved too. I adore you.”

“I know,” you turned your face slightly, pressing a kiss to his palm, “I adore you.”

“I love you,” he had to say it out loud - had to get it out there. Those three words that held so much weight. Words you’d known to be true for so long finally verbalized.

“I love you, Eddie,” you vowed then and there that you would remind him of that little fact each and every day, because it was true of course but also to see that expression on his face. It was beautiful. 

“May I kiss you?” The fact that he was still asking was so Eddie and made your heart so happy. You’d pictured this exact scenario dozens if not hundreds of times by now, and yet this was better than you could have ever imagined. 

“Yes,” you felt a wave of emotions wash over you as he leaned in, “please.”

He pressed his lips to yours, gentle and hesitant. When you didn’t recoil or tell him to stop, he kissed you a little more, a little deeper, his hands settling on your waist. You looped your arms around his neck and kissed him back, with just as much hunger and passion. It felt so right and so natural to be kissing him; you wanted to do it forever, you wanted to learn him in every possible way.

Eddie only pulled back when he was getting dizzy from kissing you; he didn’t want to stop. You made a small sound when he pressed his forehead against yours, “that was…wow.”

“Yeah,” you agreed, leaning and stealing a few kisses from him, “something like that.”

Eddie took a step back, shaking his head causing his curls to bounce as he touched his lips and cheek where your lips had blessed his skin. He almost couldn’t believe that this had happened and he needed to make sure it wasn’t some sort of dream. 

“So…you wanna dress up and go out tonight? We can either find a party to crash or try to get away with trick-or-treating-”

“Nah,” he shook his head as you raised an eyebrow at him, “I wanna stay in tonight - with you.”

“Yeah?” That honestly sounded like the best idea of all. You hadn’t wanted him to feel like he had to stay in, but you were definitely excited to spend time with just him. Especially now that any remaining boundaries between the two of you had been taken away. 

“Yeah,” he’d leaned in again and was so close to brushing his lips against yours…but was promptly interrupted by another knock at the door. He groaned as you quickly kissed his cheek, “it better be the damn pizza this time.”

“Oh?” you crossed your arms over your chest as you tried to give him a serious expression, “is the pizza a more welcome guest than me?”

“Of course not, sweetheart,” suddenly the nickname held so much more weight, “but I think you and pizza might be the best thing ever.”

“That I can allow,” you snorted in amusement as he answered the door and paid the delivery person, “what kind did you get?”

“A half and half…your favorite and mine,” he admitted sheepishly as you looked at him in awe, “w-what’s wrong?”

“You got both of our favorites?” your voice almost cracked as he nodded, “even though you thought I wasn’t going to be here?”

“I guess I just held onto some hope,” he tried to shrug it off like it was no big deal but to you it was everything, “w-what? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“No reason,” you took the pizza from his hand and set it on the counter, “I just…I really love you, Eddie. For so long now.”

“Funny,” he reached for you again, pulling you as close as possible, “I really love you too, and have for a very long time.”

“I definitely think you should kiss me about it,” the two of you grinned at each other like fools, shy and electric with all these new revelations, “if you want to.”

“I want to,” he was already kissing you again, soft and gentle but with a promise of more, “I really, really want to.”

“Happy Halloween Eddie.”

“Happy Halloween sweetheart,” he pressed a kiss to your forehead, “best Halloween ever!”

#eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x you #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson one shot #joseph quinn #st

[max1461]

What are some good intros to linguistics? Books, video lecture series, anything.

It depends on what part you're interested in and how pop vs. serious you want to be about it. I have heard that The Unfolding of Language (Guy Deutscher) and The Horse, the Wheel, and Language (David W. Anthony) are both good, although I haven't read them, and they're definitely both focused more on the historical side. For the cognitive or the theoretical sides there is no good pop introduction.

If you want to learn linguistics seriously: find a language you are curious about, pick up a grammar of it, google what the jargon means until you understand. There's a site with a bunch of PDFs, "the grammar pile", which is maybe still up if you google around for it. Learn the Leipzig glossing conventions and the IPA. Don't learn theoretical linguistics without familiarizing yourself with the data first, it will not make any sense or be useful. If you want to learn generative syntax, Carnie's textbook is fine. If you want to learn phonetics, Ladefoged is standard. I'm pretty sure Cambpell's book on historical linguistics is fine. Idk about phonology my professor just used lecture notes (fun fact, in linguistics we call these "handouts"; my professors look at me funny when I call them notes).

#linguistics

[dracula-dictionary]

Dracula Dictionary, May 5th

cat's meat: chopped meat (usually horse meat) on skewers to sell to cat owners

polyglot: using several languages

evil eye: a curse incurred through envy

abreast: side by side and facing the same way

Mittel Land: midland, the middle of a country

goitre: a lump or swelling at the front of the neck caused by a swollen thyroid

hay-ricks: another word for haystacks

leiter-wagon: from german Leiterwagen (ladder wagon), a wooden wagon with side walls that resemble ladders

conveyance: a means of transport, a vehicle

calèche: a light low-wheeled carriage with a removable folding hood

alacrity: cheerful willingness and eager behavior

prodigious: unnatural or abnormal

rug: a piece of thick, warm fabric or fur used as a coverlet or lap robe

salient: noticeable or important

illumine: light up

impalpable: unable to be felt by touch

uncanny: strange or mysterious, especially in an unsettling way

interminable: endless

alight: descend from a train, bus, or other form of transport

traps: personal belongings, baggage

solicitor's clerk: a person employed in a solicitor's office to keep records, accounts, and undertake other routine administrative duties

solicitor: a lawyer who advises clients on matters of law, draws up legal documents, prepares cases for barristers, and who may plead in certain courts

chimney or globe: the glass around lamps that protects the flame against wind

forestall: act before someone in order to stop them from doing something

making your toilet: dressing or grooming yourself

gout: a type of inflammatory arthritis that causes pain and swelling in joints

malady: illness

fell to at once: immediately started eating

tokay: sweet white wine of Hungary

physiognomy: the supposed art of judging character from facial characteristics

aquiline: hooked or curved like an eagle's beak

#am i the only one who never knew what abreast meant until looking it up just now? #dracula daily #re: dracula #dracula dictionary #5 may #dracula daily 5 may #dracula dictionary 5 may

[blackcrowing]

Blackcrowing's Master Reading List

I have created a dropbox with pdfs I have gathered over the years, I have done my best to only allow access to documents which I found openly available through sites like JSTOR, Archive.org, or other educational resources with papers available for download.

That being said I ALSO recommend (I obviously have not read all of these but they are either in my library or I intend to add them)

📚 Celtic/Irish Pagan Books

The Morrighan: Meeting the Great Queens, Morgan Daimler

Raven Goddess: Going Deeper with the Morríghan, Morgan Daimler

Ogam: Weaving Word Wisdom, Erynn Rowan Laurie

Irish Paganism: Reconstructing Irish Polytheism, Morgan Daimler

Celtic Cosmology and the Otherworld: Myths, Orgins, Sovereignty and Liminality, Sharon Paice MacLeod

Celtic Myth and Religion, Sharon Paice MacLeod

A Guide to Ogam Divination, Marissa Hegarty (I'm leaving this on my list because I want to support independent authors. However, if you have already read Weaving Word Wisdom this book is unlikely to further enhance your understanding of ogam in a divination capacity)

The Book of the Great Queen, Morpheus Ravenna

Litany of The Morrígna, Morpheus Ravenna

Celtic Visions, Caitlín Matthews

Harp, Club & Calderon, Edited by Lora O'Brien and Morpheus Ravenna

Celtic Cosmology: Perspectives from Ireland and Scotland, Edited by Jacqueline Borsje and others

Polytheistic Monasticism: Voices from Pagan Cloisters, Edited by Janet Munin

📚 Celtic/Irish Academic Books

Early Medieval Ireland 400-1200, Dáibhí Ó Cróinín

The Sacred Isle, Dáithi Ó hÓgáin

The Ancient Celts, Berry Cunliffe

The Celtic World, Berry Cunliffe

Irish Kingship and Seccession, Bart Jaski

Early Irish Farming, Fergus Kelly

Studies in Irish Mythology, Grigory Bondarnko

Prehistoric Archaeology of Ireland, John Waddell

Archeology and Celtic Myth, John Waddell

Understanding the Celtic Religion: Revisiting the Past, Edited by Katja Ritari and Alexandria Bergholm

A Guide to Ogam, Damian McManus

Cesar's Druids: an Ancient Priesthood, Miranda Aldhouse Green

Animals in Celtic Life and Myth, Miranda Aldhouse Green

The Gods of the Celts, Miranda Green

The Celtic World, Edited by Miranda J Green

Myth and History in Celtic and Scandinavian Tradition, Edited by Emily Lyle

Ancient Irish Tales, Edited by Tom P Cross and Clark Haris Slover

Cattle Lords and Clansmen, Nerys Patterson

Celtic Heritage, Alwyn and Brinley Rees

Ireland's Immortals, Mark Williams

The Origins of the Irish, J. P. Mallory

In Search of the Irish Dreamtime, J. P. Mallory

The Táin, Thomas Kinsella translation

The Sutton Hoo Sceptre and the Roots of Celtic Kingship Theory, Michael J. Enright

Celtic Warfare, Giola Canestrelli

Pagan Celtic Ireland, Barry Raftery

The Year in Ireland, Kevin Danaher

Irish Customs and Beliefs, Kevin Danaher

Cult of the Sacred Center, Proinsais Mac Cana

Mythical Ireland: New Light on the Ancient Past, Anthony Murphy

Early Medieval Ireland AD 400-1100, Aidan O'Sullivan and others

The Festival of Lughnasa, Máire MacNeill

Curse of Ireland, Cecily Gillgan

📚 Indo-European Books (Mostly Academic and linguistic)

Dictionary of Indo-European Concepts and Society, Emily Benveniste

A Dictionary of Selected Synonyms in the Principle Indo-European Languages, Carl Darling Buck

The Horse, the Wheel and Language, David W. Anthony

Comparative Indo-European Linguistics, Robert S.P. Beekes

In Search of the Indo-Europeans, J.P. Mallory

Indo-European Mythology and Religion, Alexander Jacob

Some of these books had low print runs and therefore can be difficult to find and very expensive... SOME of those books can be found online with the help of friends... 🏴‍☠️

library genesis might be a great place to start... hint hint...

#books #book #resource #blackcrowing #pagan #paganism #irish mythology #celtic #irish paganism #irish polytheism #celtic paganism #celtic polytheism #celtic mythology #indo european #indo european mythology #historical linguistics #paganblr #masterlist #irish reconstructionism #irish reconstructionist #celtic reconstructionist #celtic reconstructionism #masterpost

[the-griffons-saddlebag]

💎 𝗡𝗲𝘄 𝗶𝘁𝗲𝗺! Navis Anima
Wondrous item, legendary ___ A "navis anima," or simply an anima, is a sentient gemstone that rests upon a magic pedestal. The gemstone can't be separated from the pedestal, despite the fact that the stone seems only loosely placed atop it. While the anima is on a vehicle, you can perform a ritual to name the gemstone and vehicle, magically binding the two together. The ritual takes 1 hour to complete and requires a bottle of fine wine worth at least 100 gp. Once complete, the pedestal anchors itself to the vehicle and alters its appearance to match the vehicle's design. The chosen name then magically appears on the vehicle in a place of your choice, replacing any name that was already on it. A named anima cannot be renamed. While an anima is bound to a vehicle, the vehicle is capable of travel at slow pace even if its usual source of movement isn't present. For example, a carriage bound to an anima could travel at a slow pace even without horses, as its wheels would magically rotate under the anima's control. The anima can make ability checks for the vehicle, using its vehicle's statistics, and it can grant any creature of its choice advantage on ability checks made to steer or otherwise control the vehicle, provided that the anima and chosen creature share at least one language. Conversely, any creature that attempts to control the vehicle against the anima's will has disadvantage on any ability check made to do so. An anima can only be separated from its vehicle by the destruction of that vehicle. When this happens, the anima becomes dormant. It can be bound to a new vehicle by performing the naming ritual again, although it fails if you attempt to assign the gemstone a new name. The gemstone's name then appears on the new vehicle. 𝙎𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙚𝙣𝙘𝙚.A "navis anima" is a sentient magic item of any alignment. When the anima is first named, it begins with an Intelligence, Wisdom, and Charisma score of 10. Then, roll three d6s and add each result to a different one of those scores, recording each total as its new score for that attribute. The anima has darkvision out to a range of 60 feet. ... Continued in the comment below! ___ ✨ Patrons get huge perks! Access this and hundreds of other item cards, art files, and compendium entries when you support The Griffon's Saddlebag on Patreon for less than $10 a month!

#illustration #digital art #dungeons and dragons #dnd #d&d