#This is what I live my life by 100%

[ellionwrites]

If Geto and Gojo were so close, why didn't Geto try to convince Gojo to defect with him?

Because Geto knew that Gojo’s support would guarantee his success, but that success would come at the cost of hurting Gojo.

I believe that Geto cared more about protecting Gojo than he cared about building a better world.

..

Let me explain…

First, let’s talk about why it would’ve made sense for Geto to ask Gojo to join him:

(1) Gojo would’ve been Geto’s most important / most powerful ally

By the time of Geto’s defection, Gojo is already the strongest sorcerer in existence. He and Geto are two of only three special grade sorcerers. Having them both on the same side is essentially an automatic win.

(2) Gojo should’ve been (relatively) easy to persuade

Gojo had already told Geto that he didn't like having to save the weak and didn't care about the moral justifications for it…

…Geto has also seen that Gojo doesn’t always value / protect human life. He was ready to massacre the Time Vessel Association without reason, but ultimately he didn't, because he deferred to Geto's judgement…

…and, most importantly, they are best friends on a DEEP, unparalleled level. Geto is Gojo’s “one and only” best friend.

If Geto was truly dedicated to changing the world order, Gojo should’ve been the first and most important person that he tried to recruit to his insurgency / cult / mission.

BUT

Not only does Geto make zero effort to reach out to / recruit Gojo, he actively avoids him and pushes him away...

- - - - - Keep reading cut - - - - -

After he kills the 112 non-sorcerers, Geto runs into Shoko in Shinjuku. He happily approaches her and willingly answers her questions.

Look at his smiling face in their interactions:

But, when Shoko calls Gojo, Geto leaves before Gojo shows up. Gojo tracks him down anyway and demands an explanation. Geto still doesn’t want to talk about it (“You already heard it.”)

It's strange, right? Geto loves talking about his vision of a better world with everyone else.

Then, there is this confusing progression of dialog:

Geto is hurt/annoyed that Gojo doesn’t believe in him, so he points out that Gojo’s argument against his plan is invalid. The plan is possible (“You could do it”), therefore (according to Gojo’s own logic) it’s not “pointless.”

In a way, Geto is admitting that he knows it would make the most sense for Gojo to join him.

But before Gojo can respond, Geto pivots to saying something extremely hurtful. He's questioning who Gojo is / would be if he wasn't the strongest. Is there really anything more to him? (See more detail in my post here).

Then, in the very next panel Geto turns and starts walking away.

In summary: (1) Geto avoids Gojo, (2) Geto only argues in favor of his plan when Gojo forces/baits him, (3) Upon invalidating Gojo’s opposition to his plan, Geto immediately puts emotional distance between them, (4) Geto then puts physical distance between them.

Why is Geto trying so hard to make sure that Gojo won’t follow him?

Is he just being prideful about doing this on his own? Is he so angry at Gojo's arrogance that he'd jeopardize the success of his life's mission over it?

These arguments aren't in line with Geto's characterization / known motivations (see the end of this post, if you're interested in more on that.)

Geto's main motivation is (a twisted form of) compassion. He wants to end the suffering of sorcerers.

He is a thoughtful, contemplative person, and would've thought about the ramifications of recruiting Gojo.

What are the ramifications?

If Gojo joins the cause, Geto’s plan would succeed, but Gojo would suffer for it.

Like anyone who joins Geto's cult, Gojo would become a pariah / fugitive from Jujutsu society. He’d kill people. He’d kill other sorcerers.

But because Gojo has the singular level of strength/ability to kill non-sorcerers en masse, he would commit the vast majority (or all) of the murder / destruction. The legal, social, and mental impacts would be most severe on Gojo.

(Also, at this point, I think Geto may still question whether he’s made the right choice. It’s difficult to go from a hardline stance on protecting non-sorcerers to wanting to gen0c1de them, within the span of a year, without any lingering ethical qualms. So he may be worried about moral costs to Gojo as well.)

Let’s remember that Geto (canonically) deeply loves Gojo. Gojo is his one and only best friend. Geto worries about Gojo when he overworks himself protecting Riko. Geto is shocked when Toji kills Riko in front of him, but he only flies into a rage when he thinks Toji has killed Gojo. (Again, see my post here for more on how much Geto loves Gojo).

So, it makes sense that Geto is ready to make sacrifices to create a better world, but it’s a cost he’s willing to put on his own head. Not Gojo's.

Ultimately, Geto cares more about Gojo than he cares about achieving the mission he has dedicated his life to.

The last thing Geto says to him is this:

What he's really asking Gojo is: "Have you stopped loving me, now that I've committed myself to this dark path? Would you kill me to save them?"

If Gojo hates Geto enough that he’d kill him, then Geto never had a chance of recruiting Gojo in the first place.

Of course, Gojo can’t make himself hurt Geto. He still loves Geto too much.

Geto protected Gojo by pushing him away.

___

Addendum:

I'll also argue against two other possible explanations for Geto's behavior.

(1) Geto is jealous / prideful /wants to build his own legacy without Gojo stealing the spotlight

Geto has clear motivations for his goals and they’re not egotistical. He wants to end the suffering of sorcerers caused by non-sorcerers’ existence (e.g., Riko’s death, Mimiko & Nanako’s abuse).

Geto’s pride isn’t hurt when Gojo becomes the strongest. The only thing that bothers Geto is that they’re getting sent on separate missions.

After Gojo becomes stronger that him, Geto still has overt affection for Gojo (e.g., he asks Haibara to bring back sweets from his mission so he can share with Gojo).

Although Geto does believe in his superiority over non-sorcerers, he doesn't feel superior over other sorcerers and doesn't struggle with his 'inferiority' to Gojo.

Does Gojo’s lack of faith in Geto’s ability (calling his goal “impossible”), spur Geto to want to prove himself? Yes, probably. But Geto had already been avoiding Gojo before he said that. And I don’t believe that wanting to prove himself to Gojo would overshadow his stronger motivation to build a better world for sorcerers.

(2) He thinks Gojo actually is too moral to join him

After Geto kills the 112 non-sorcerers, Gojo is shocked and upset by what’s happened, but not once does he insult Geto or imply that Geto has done something unforgivable. In fact, he’s practically begging Geto to explain himself because he wants to be able to justify his actions. And, again, Gojo’s argument against Geto’s plan is NOT that “it’s wrong,” it’s that “it’s impossible.”

#This is what I live my life by 100% #I will not be convinced of any other truth #satosugu #jjk #jjk analysis #jujutsu kaisen #gojo x geto #gojo satoru #geto suguru #stsg #gego #goge #satosugu analysis #jjk manga #jjk canon #satosugu canon #jjk meta #satosugu meta #sugusato #my jjk thoughts

[tittyblade]

okay ive been thinking.

rb with your answer + what your interpretation of barbie/ken is

#mcyt #technoblade #OKAY this is really dumb but bear with me DBJSBDJ #(dont read my og tags before u vote i want to hear ur own interpretation!!) #to me a ken is like a himbo. just living his best life unbothwred #and barbie 100% knows what she wants and how to get it shes a capital g Girlboss okay #SO IM THINKING. techno’s obviously a barbie have you ever watched any of his videos #BUT AT THE SAME TIME. being a barbie all the time would be so exhausting youve got sm shit to do #so in conclusion i say. hes a ken that can be a barbie whenever he wants. will he be tho? who knows #depends on the weather or wether he took his adhd meds that day

[artsekey]

Check it out! These are my grandparents!

My grandpa fought in WWII and stole nazi clock pieces from the streets to hand-build all SIX clocks that still ring out in our house every hour. He was a soldier and a wood-worker who never got his high-school diploma but made an amazing life for himself and his family. He’s in a museum, actually, as one of the few survivors of one of the most dangerous battles in WWII, and he received a purple heart for his service.

My grandma was a typist/secretary who traveled the world with him during his time in the military after getting her Bachelors Degree (!!!!! In the mid 1900’s!!!) . They met on a blind date not long after the war was through, and they were married sixty-seven years. She’s the epitome of etiquette and an amazing hostess! She has two daughters, one born in Austria and one in the U.S., and I’m their only grand-child.

You might be thinking, “Artsekey, what’s this all about? This isn’t the usual content!”

Well, I’ll tell you what it’s all about! My grandmother just celebrated her 100th Birthday! She’s been alive since 1923! The same year the radio became commercially available!!!

She’s amazing, and I’d like everyone to know it!

#personal #wwii #i’ve tried making this post a few times now #one was unbearably sad #the other was deleted #so I settled on this #this past weekend was one of the hardest weekends of my life i think #being 100 isn’t a walk in the park #and I said goodbye to her for the last time #but I want to celebrate her! celebrate both of them! #because it’s what they’d want #and they’re both really cool people who I love a lot #and I don’t think they’d want me to be so sad #well… grandma might actually. she lives for the drama and the attention but she’s worth it tbh

[wowa-bublord]

Mentally lying on my bed and kicking my feet like a schoolgirl while joyously waiting for more Zack and Cloud sketchies ❤️ In your AU is Cloud completely conscious and aware when he first breaks out of his coma? Or is there a sort of in-between zone for awhile? If there is, is Zack overjoyed or worried out of his mind (or both)? Does Cloud struggle with allowing somebody to take care of him?

Sending you virtual hugs should you want them or a crisp and respectful nod of the head if not!

IM SORRY this ask only just showed up in my inbox but it says it's from march 24th?? tumblr killing me with daggers,,,, This is going to be a long one sorry!! I'll explain the stages of his coma first, and then the stages of waking up from it.

In the beginning, while they are on the run, Cloud is in.. something close to a catatonic state. He can perform basic instincts, such as blinking, swallowing, the small stumble-steps he's shown doing in gameplay, and making small noises. In my au/headcanon, this is because of the Mako keeping his body up and functioning in spite of his intense poisoning. Because of the Mako, his muscles also don't atrophy during this period. He has no memories from this era at all.

After this, a little before the battalion but mostly after, his body begins to heal from his Mako poisoning. Which is good. but the lack of the access Mako leaves his body with far less functions. He begins to lose the ability to eat, becomes unable to even stumble, his eyes shut and don't open again. He falls into a full comatose state. Which, although it is very scary for Zack, and takes a lot more work and medical equipment, is actually a good sign for his healing. Fighting off mako poisoning this far is already rare.

(In this segment, he is kept fed and hydrated through his IV, but he switches to an NG tube after he wakes up, due to the inconvenience of the IV and continued difficulty swallowing.)

His first signs of waking up were a few weeks before he opened his eyes. He began responding to stimuli, ears flicking at noises, hands tensing, eyes occasionally opening but not for long. It's at this stage that he also starts having nightmares, and becomes more aware of his environment. He has blurry memories from this era, but in the moment he was mostly just confused and distressed, and didn't process it. this took up most of the few weeks.

After some time, he began to have more moments of consciousness and rational thought. He could start to respond to simple questions or requests such as blinking or closing his hands. He only vaguely remembers this. It lasts a few days

when he actually began to wake up, initially he was incredibly upset and confused, not being recovered enough to actually process the situation. This resulted in him lashing out, not knowing where he was and initially not recognizing zack, he struggled and tried to pull his tubes out. This was the final stage to his waking up, only lasts an hour? possibly a few hours? and he was finally fully awake after this!!

When Cloud woke up from his coma, his body was incredibly weak from being bedridden so much. His muscles had atrophied severely over the few months, which put him in a wheelchair as they worked on him recovering.

In this stage, he is mostly determined to improve again. He feels a lot of gratitude towards Zack for taking care of him so much, and a lot of frustration towards himself for not recovering faster.

his next stage was crutches, he recovered his arm strength faster than his legs. He begins to pick up on zack overworking himself, but he's unsure how to approach it, and often ends up saying the wrong thing. (He still uses an NG tube in this era, but he begins to be able to eat on his own, so he doesn't have it in for much longer)

His next stage is using a cane, which he ends up using for a long while. Even after his muscles have recovered, he maintains knee/hip pain for the rest of his life. He also has migraines and memory issues like in canon. At this stage, he begins to get frustrated with Zack more and more. He appreciates Zacks help, but feels frustrated with feeling like Zack doesn't trust him to take care of himself, and upset with how Zack prioritizes Cloud so much over himself. Due to these frustrations, he grows more confrontational. (<- comic linked is not 100% canon to this au, just an example.) Zack is overjoyed that Cloud is awake. He thought Clouds return to consciousness would help his fears and guilt ease, but for some reason he finds himself more worried than ever. He always backs off when Cloud says he wants space, but he finds himself worrying about what Cloud is doing now that he isn't able to be monitoring him all the time, and then guilty for feeling so worried.

#zack lives au #zack fair #my art #cloud strife #zakkura #zack fair ffvii #cloud strife ffvii #zack fair ff7 #cloud strife ff7 #zack x cloud #clack #NOT ALL THE MEDICAL INFORMATION IN HERE IS 100% ACCURATE. i talked to someone who works with caretakers #but i am not a caretaker nor a nurse nor medically trained #plus I smudged some of the facts of comatose and catatonic states to fit with the symptoms cloud displays in canon #so its like.. a fantasy coma and doesn't fully reflect what someone would experience in real life #i hope it isn't too egregiously done if anyone has some critique or suggestions i want to hear them!!!!! #coma cw #medical struggles cw

[uncanny-tranny]

Your life isn't a to-do list. You're allowed to exist, to take life as slow as you'd like. The dreams you have won't suddenly disappear. It's okay to stop and smell the roses, or to engage with "childish" things, or to recover, or do what you need to.

#positivity #encouraging words #life doesn't need to be a speedrun or a 100% run #sometimes it feels like i'm wasting my life but... who gets to tell me what is wasteful? i'm surviving out here and that's okay #and it's okay if you're also somebody who people think is 'wasting your life' #that's such a meaningless and frankly a very cruel thing to say to a person #because you'll see people call somebody's life wasteful because they're simply coping with disability/mental illness/grief/ect #it's a meaningless saying to tell somebody how YOU think they're wasting life. your life isn't a waste point-blank #we ought to be kinder to ourselves for choosing what we want/need out of our lives rather than placating to what is imposed on us... #...or the expectations we impose on ourselves #be kinder to yourself whenever you can. it's hard as hell but please choose kindness toward yourself #just something i thought about and felt like it was impirtant to me #i couldn't complete high school 'on time' because of covid and because i was in crisis. i felt so much shame about that. i felt stupid... #...i felt unworthy. but who decided that i am those things? the crisis i was in could have killed me. i couldn't deal with school then... #...it humbled me because i had to learn that i am not immune to needing to be kind to myself. i am human - i'm not a mindless drone... #...you aren't a mindless drone either. you are an individual. you deserve to feel safe. you deserve understanding and compassion... #...but not ONLY from others. you deserve it from yourself as well

[bluecaeriart]

just thinking about bilbo thinking about how in love with thorin he is and how grateful hes alive and of their lives together in the shire and how theyre both just so happy and at peace and O;IRGAO;HIERGO;ALEIGHO;AIERG

#the hobbit #bilbo baggins #Thorin Oakenshield #bagginshield #my art #posting this separately since its a mini comic and i didnt want it to be lost in a giant doodle collection #BUT THIS IS TOTALLY WHAT HAPPENED RIGHT LIIKE 100% #RIGHT GUYS AM I RIGHT SWEATS PROFUSELY #bilbo and thorin got to live a happy life and raise frodo in the shire

[july-19th-club]

i think the funniest neal relationship is when he's dating sara because 90% of it is 'we both like to be dressed to the nines at all hours of the day and night, we should fuck about it' and the instant they have any disagreement whatsoever they're like oh right our expensive and impractical taste in clothing is the only thing we have in common

#she was like oh i want adventure so i will date a conman...wait not this much! babe stop doing art crime and just be theoretically bad! #hes like oh i have absolutely 100% moved on from the late great One Real Relationship ive ever had in my life i'm fine we're fine it's fine #sara doesn't think lunch counts as a date and he never thinks to plan real dates because he more or less counts all time spent together #and their relationship STARTS while El is telling sara how much better her and peter's lives are for having neal in them #and sara's like 'well what if i don't trust him' and El's like 'git gud i guess. i trust him with my life' #and the parallel conversation is peter gushing about how lucky in love he's been and neal going :( i dont think that's me :( #and peter going oh you just have to give it time :) you just need the right people :) you got this :) #like sara's cool but the two of them were doomed from the start as any sort of romantic partners #we did get some great leyendecker-esque scenes out of them posing in clothes though. so that was cool #white collar #q

[enbycrip]

I love the way special interests never actually die. They just kind of go dormant for a bit.

Can’t remember why I went into this room but someone mentions marine life and I’m suddenly fucking Facts McGee over here.

#autistic adult #adult adhd #marine biology #marine life #special interest #I get kind of annoyed that some adult autistics are now getting pissy over the term special interest #they are 100% different from just interests okay #they make my brain light up and life worth living #this shit kept me alive okay #and if that’s not special I don’t know what is

[suncaptor]

nothing will make you sympathise with conspiracy theorist ideology more than having a seemingly rare reaction to a vaccine lmao.

#reading articles that try to falsify genuine incorrect information about the covid vaccines from 2021 is making me feel insane #'there's no way the covid vaccine can trigger an autoimmune disorder' uhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHHHH #factually extremely wrong! #they're soooo condescening too like why on EARTH do you think people who are genuinely sick or scared would believe you. #they'll be like there's no scientific evidence that anyone can be harmed by the covid vaccine <3 blatantly untrue. #I know that part of this is retrospect like obviously since more studies have come out and all #but it's infurirating bc they're from the time *I* was having those symptoms *and* telling doctors about it *and* being told the connection #to my other severe symptoms from the covid vaccine were Utterly Impossible (since proven false) and that if the symptoms WERE related #it meant i had a life threatening illness at worst and had a high chance of losing my vision at best #likeeeeeeeee #doctors still DO NOT know what the fuck they're doing do NOT trust anyone who gives ANY 100% answers #i don't know why i'm doing this i just said to stop obsessing but i'm just reading pages and articles on countering misinformation to make #sure i don't -- i want to know the conspiracy theories to recognise them immediately right #and then people are just saying bullshit to defend themselves #i mean most of the anti covid vacc people were also far right so i don't have too much sympathy for their vaccine ideology #but like. fucking hell what a way to push people into conspiracies. #you CAN'T counter misinformation by SPREADING MORE MISINFORMATION #just because it SOUNDS BETTER and MORE REASSURING to say there's not chance of harm doesn't mean you should #there's A LOW chance of harm THAT IS MUCH MUCH less high than the impacts of covid #god I'm pissed off. 2021 i was so fucking terrified of spreading this shit just by talking about my lived experiences. #to say i was not taking the pandemic seriously OR anti vax is so blatantly ridiculous considering who I am as a person but that doesn't mea #that the covid vaccine specifically didn't make me ill :////// #delete

[best-enemies]

I've reached season 5 on my CSI rewatch and I'm a few episodes past "Swap Meet", where a woman is murdered after attending a swing party with other couples from the neighbourhood. Near the end of the episode there's a moment that made me jump from my seat:

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two cups. He hands her a cup of tea.)

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - BRASS' OFFICE]

Erin Brady: Everybody fantasizes about other people. (She glances at Grissom.)

Even you, Mr. Grissom. A neighbor, a friend ... girl at the office.

[INT. POLICE DEPARTMENT - HALLWAY]

(The door opens. Paul Brady walks out of the hallway. Erin Brady walks out into the hallway. Sara is sitting in the hallway chair watching them. She watches as they meet and kiss.)

(Grissom walks up to Sara and takes the seat next to her. He's holding two culps. He hands her a cup of tea.)

LIKE!!!!!!!

Right after Erin ends her sentence with 'girl at the office', the first time Sara and Grissom meet again, he brings her tea. This might be an innocent interaction but to me it seemed like a nod to this relationship they have where both are into each other, know about the other's feelings, but can't/won't do anything about it (although Sara has kind of given Grissom an ultimatum). I don't know if it was intentional - I'm guessing it is, because I picked it up immediately. I might or might not have squealed in delight.

#csi #gsr #i'm very Normal about them btw i don't think about them 50 times per day or anything #need to talk more about these two here #because im obsessed about them in a Normal way #sara is like. my dream wife. i totally get grissom being in love with her for years and barely holding it together #i would not though #i'm 1000% sure she's bi. but the writers have been cowards so far #also she and i dress THE SAME. yes i love 2000s clothes so what #i could talk about her forever she's everything to me #and grissom. oh grissom. i also get why she's been in love with him forever #i mean what the FUCK went down in san francisco did they hook up and sex was so good it scared them #and now they have to live with that tension and they're scared of crossing that line #nah i'm guessing with these two they just REALLY clicked. like. they were an instant match and they knew it #but grissom didnt want to lose focus on work or whatever and they lived in separate states you know #but oh my god i totally get sara. grissom is such a silver fox. he's like one of the hottest old men i've ever seen in my life #you know what i 100% get tumblr sexualizing old men it's completely valid i'm in this now too #he has this LOOK. whenever he's angry at a suspect. and he looks angrily at them. i'm chewing on my keyboard just remembering it #and his smirks #AND THE WAY HE LOOKS AT SARA #im losing my mind #i love all of gil grissom but seasons 4-5 jesus fucking christ #ok enough with the sexualizing i love him as a character SO MUCH. he's absolutely fantastic #one of the things i love the most about him is that he doesn't judge people. whenever the team is confused about someone #or this persons' lifestyle #he's always trying to understand them and not judge them #like a true scientist he wants to understand the nature of things and people #and he's such a sweetheart i love him so much #like there are so many things i love about him i can't fit them all in the tags. same for sara #they're a perfect match for me

[somecunttookmyurl]

my body alert me to having an entirely full bladder with more than 30s warning challenge (impossible)

#it! is! so! annoying! just! be! normal! *screams* #genuinely i did piss myself as a kid a LOT until i was like. 10. no lie. #bc i would not know - at all! no inclination whatsoever! if i went anyway nothing would come out! - i needed to pee #until we hit 'you are going to piss yourself immediately' #just 0 to 100 in 0.35 seconds #and i did not have the control or muscle strength or whatever to not just. piss myself if i wasnt in immediate reach of a bathroom #i went though two. years. of 'bladder retraining' therapy #which is MEANT to retune you into signals or whatever so you know you need to pee with a fucking resonable amount of warning #spoiler: it did not do this #it did not improve the signalling at all whatsoever #what it DID do was develop the necessary strength and control to become doubled over with sudden OH GOD RIGHT NOW pee pain #BUT be able to hold it off for 5-10 min if necessary #which to the adults around me was a success bc it looked like i knew how to pee properly now #i don't. i just know how to NOT pee MYSELF and make it embarrassing. difference. #look man i'm 33 presumably there will literally never be a point in my life where i will know 'oh i kinda need to pee' an hour before #i will always be playing Highway To The Danger Zone every day forever #i just live like this #CHRIST it's so FUCKING annoying though #i mean this applies to all functions i have no internal signalling for anything until it is Super Right Now Urgent #my body notify me of anything at all ever challenge (impossible) #god if this aint the most annoying one though

[pollyna]

2020!Ice back in '86 would tell Mav about the hop, or at least try to make him understand to take caution against jet washes even if it cost him to come back to an empty bed and a life without Maverick in it.

#i know it's a popular theme but it always makes my brain go dvdhdvdhdb ice would do that 100% #and probably hit himself behind his young self head a little and tell him how proud he is of what he accomplished #he would act like a kindness even knowing the risks #even knowing that he could come back to life without maverick in it and without bradley too #it's not about telling his young self about cancer it's just-being sure that the person he cares the most could be really happy #can u imagine living with the unconscious thought of never being enough to make some happy bc you think if that person wasn't dead he- #-wouldn't even be around? like not something ice thinks about or anything just something that sometimes comes up when he's tired drunk and- #-he goes back to an empty home #i read the ff 'bout mav the sky and ice believing not to be enough and i can't stop thinkin' about this #tom iceman kazansky #pete maverick mitchell #icemav #fix it (of sort) #insecutiry #top gun (1986) #top gun: maverick

[derpinette]

i have this "alter ego" that only exists in my head where essentially i am a fat sloppy drunk old fisherman with no loved ones living in misery & isolation & i often imagine myself as him especially in moments of patheticness

#& he is always a fisherman not a farmer not a fisherwoman either ( too badass... ) #past life ?! caus my ♯azn side was all fishers & stuff like my grandfather ETC but like all of them looked anorexic instead of fat so #also i imagine the guy as kind of vaguely mediterranean looking so maybe not because that side of my family are mountain farmers #when i read the old man & the sea ( i hate hemingway BTW ♯NotPete ♯ActuallyMikey ) ( uhm sorry about that... ) #i was like this is my life/future if it was better... 🚬 But that was a good while after i was already thinking of myself like that #closest thing i felt to a kin moment is when we analyzed miss brill like wow me & i am not even old that is genuinely just my life #as a (at the time) seventeen year old. & also carol ledoux from repulsion literally 100% only i am an ugly freak instead of beautiful #i pretty much never think of myself as myself in my head & actually never when i was younger up until age 9 i remember vividly #& i just had this thought while making my lazy “bite sized” onigiri ( bowl of seasoned rice +tunamayo +vache qui rit +avocado +spoon ) #but even when i make the non lazy version i get so overwhelmed & irritated & SLOPPY i feel like a drunk old man with nothing to #live for #anyone else feel like this sometimes... #if any of you weeaboos judge my terminology by the way i will kill myself just FYI #IDCCCC about the actual name you know what i mean. quasi poke bowl but each “component” has its own dish. whatever OK...

[nia-academia]

reminder to not let myself be washed away, to stand my ground even when it seems much easier to just let go, to stay firm in what i believe and to never feel small because everything else seems bigger.

reminder to never again live passively.

#im having a Moment today #or maybe its just my period #idk i just feel like i want to live by these principles rather than just letting the days merge into one long sigh #i would rather try and give it my all and be imperfect and messy in what i put out rather than detach myself from everything that im not #100 percent perfect at bzc then i'll just end up detaching myself from mostly everything and at the end of it all i'll jsut be left here #regretting the things i couldve shouldve done #self help #self improvement #student life

[rogueroll]

baker’s life / 1, 2, 3, 4

#so happy that this is also my life #sometimes while working im like this is what i do for a living #just making cakes and everything #also the reason im so busy and never on here sorry!! #moodboard #mb #messy moodboard #board #aesthetic board #bakery #food #pastries #mine #100

[charmre]

It's too kind of you to say you can help but there's no one around who can save me from myself

#Elden Ring #Sorcerer Rogier #Rogier #Rogier Elden Ring #I just think he's neat and I'm totally normal about him (I say through clenched fists and gritted teeth) #Rogier earring truthers rise up!! lol #Doing some studies and oops it turned into Rogier bc I am 100% normal about him :) #I was listening to some Julien Baker (“Bloodshot”) while rendering this and that line in the song hit me like a freight train and I had to #stop for a good 2-3 minutes because OWWWW OUCHIE OWIE #There's actually more lyrics from another song that I associate with Rogier too and I need to figure out what to draw for it #I swear I can also draw more than Rogier facing 3/4ths to the left but just let me live!! #*twirling my hair between my fingers* so there's this sorcerer who puts up a friendly facade to hide his true self from the world #who's lonely but will never admit to any of his hurt and is #just a complicated mess of an individual underneath playing his cards so close to his chest for just about all of his life #and he is the love of my life :) #AND SEND POST #Alyssa arts