#When I switched sides all my allies were my enemies and all my enemies were my allies now. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ourautumn86 · 1 year

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new blood

ellie williams x fem! reader

enemies to lovers!

part 2!

summary; you had finally found joel, the man that had taken away your father. surprises show on the faces of his allies when you join them, instead of hunt them down for revenge, ‘cause you were already a prey under the eyes of your sister; abby. but there’s one of them that seems to take a special interest in you: ellie williams.

cw for this chapter; blood, weapons, chains, hostages, fighting, broken bones, threatening, mentions of abuse and imagery (abusive parent), drug usage (weed)…

REMINDER: english is not my mother language so i apologize if there are some mistakes <3 !¡ either ways, i hope y’all like it. <3

REPOSTS AND COMMENTS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!<3

Please, under no circumstances, repost my work on any other sites. I do not consent to anyone taking my work and posting it as their own.

Another day begun, and just like the last… you didn’t know how many days you’d been her, chained to this wall, but what you knew is that they all started the same way.

One, Two, Three Clicks, a knock and the door was opening.

Bright green eyes found yours, and as always, you ignored her, just like you ignored those who accompanied her. Every and each day they did the same. Came for questions that you wouldn’t answer. Came for something that you wouldn’t give them. How much would they keep you here? Would they get rid of you eventually? Would you rot here?

You kicked the still full trolley that they had left for you the night before towards the girl that stood at the front of the group. She looked rough, with freckles decorating her cheeks and a scar his right eyebrow. Her hair was up in a half messy bun, and there was a gun hidden underneath her green combat coat. It was cold. You could see it in the way her fingernails were turning just the slightest purplish.

The food spilled, and the water wetted her boots, but you didn’t care, she didn’t either. It had been days since you’d eaten. But you were clever. Who told you they wouldn’t drug you? Humans were scary, the real monsters in a world filled with them.

She simply approached you, boots heavy, a thud accompanying her walk as she threw something towards you as well; your backpack. You were quick to grab it, ripping it open and taking out your dagger under the vigilance of the whole group. She never stopped getting closer and closer —even if you were pointing at her with a weapon that you were more than ready to use—, until she had crouched down in front of you, bits of her hair cupping her cheeks.

“You’re not scared.” you muttered and the auburn haired simply shrugged. “Then unlock me.” you ordered and she smirked.

“How about a ‘thank you first’? If you can’t recall, I’m the one who told them to not shoot you.”

“Why would I fucking thank you? I’m chained to a fucking wall!” you hissed and she arched her eyebrows. Your grip tightened around the switch blade.

“If you kill me they’ll kill you.” she said, and nodded towards those who stared at you through the other side of the room.

“I’d like to see them try.” you smiled.

Two men and three women counting with this fucking asshole talking to you.

That’d be easy.

“What do you say? Want me to give you a matching scar on your other eyebrow? Maybe one across your neck would look good.” the girl simply stared at you, not even startled by your threat. Her green eyes never left yours, not even when she got up and gave you her back to get to the door. “Fucking let me out!”

But the door was closing, and you were left alone once again, completely trapped.

“Fuck!” you smashed the glass of water that stood on your new food trolley —the one that she had brought you for the morning— against the door, smashing it to pieces.

And that’s when it hit you. That’s right. You just needed to break.

“Okay! Let’s try this again.”

You were laying on your side when you heard her, the door opening with a creek along with the wood floorboards underneath the weight of those who had entered the room. You were giving them your back, trying to stay as still as possible, nor even breathing.

You didn’t answer, didn’t even turn. You were getting out of here.

Your lip was bleeding due to your teeth digging so harshly on its flesh, pain shooting through your veins.

Breathe.

The silence that came after that was terrifying, even more the sound of their guns cocking.

Breathe.

Something was wrong. You knew they knew. But they didn’t knew what exactly. So you had an advantage. You just needed to move your pawns the way you needed to and you’d be able to scape.

Steps became closer, and your breath almost hitched. Just a little bit more…

“Hey.”

You moved so fast it was almost impossible to follow, your body suddenly rising and swinging the chain that had had you captive for days. You dodged the bullet that her gun sent towards you and tugged from it when the chain had surrounded her wrist, sending her weapon far away from her reach.

You smiled as you pressed your switch blade against her neck once you’d managed to press her back against your chest, her hair was ticking your skin, and guns were pointing directly to your head.

“Huh-uh…” you chuckled, raising your eyebrows to the group that now threatened you. But you had now the upper hand. “I wouldn’t shoot if I were you. Wouldn’t want her to become my shield, right?”

The red head stood completely still, her green eyes on the oldest man of her companions. Bingo.

“Oh don’t look at me like that, old man. I swear I’m a good girl.” you pouted, still pressing the blade harder against the unknown girl’s neck.

“Ellie-“ he tried and come closer, but Ellie rose one of her hands, stopping him.

Ellie, Ellie, Ellie, Ellie, Ellie….

“Clever girl.” you muttered against her neck, and she hissed.

“You broke the chain?” she inquired and you chuckled.

“Not exactly.”

That when they all noticed. The hand that was holding the blade… It was broken, all bruised and bloody, shaking in pain but still ready to kill if the occasion called for it.

“You broke your hand?” the old man that had tried and step closer to help Ellie inquired, his eyes seeming shocked, even impressed by how far would you go to survive.

“Great, so the pops still has great sight.” you rolled your eyes, and he glared at you, his grip tightening around the gun. “You see… It was great. This whole cheap free hotel, nice food, comfortable floor to sleep…But I was getting pretty fucking tired of being your dog.” you shrugged. “So if you let me go… I promise not to bite.” you smiled, the threat on your eyes sending shivers down the spine of anyone that could ever lay eyes on you.

“You see… That was great.” Ellie suddenly said, and your hand shook against her neck. “The whole I’m so fucking crazy I’m gonna fuck up my hand and scape. But your plan is fucking stupid.” you frowned, but soon enough you were groaning when she suddenly grabbed your fucking hand and simply squeezed it, pain shooting down your spine.

In just a matter of seconds she had you pinned to the ground, your switch blade meters away scattered on the floor.

“You fucking bitch!” you seethed, trying to scape her hold, but she simply squeezed harder, digging her fingertips on your bruised and swollen skin.

“Oh, but I though the dog here was you, aren’t you?” your chest rose at her words, and before she could look away, you had spat on her face.

“Let me go.” you repeated, even if you knew you now were the one in trouble.

“Not until you tell me how you found us.” she answered, and you simply quieted down. “Answer me.” you cried out in pain when she twisted your wrist. The pain was making you see red.

“Ellie…”

“Shut it Dina.” she hissed, and you almost swore you could die when she banged your hand against the floor, making your head spin. “Answer me!”

“Joel!” you whimpered, breathy, sweat decorating your skin. “I came…, for Joel.” you muttered and the whole room fell silent. “And from that silence… I’m guessing it’s one of you, isn’t it? You two have aged since the last time I saw you… But I’d never be able to forget those names…” you smiled, and you saw her whole body stiffen up. “Even if it was years ago that he killed an entire hospital full of people just to save you, isn’t that right… Ellie?” her jaw tightened.

“Who are you?” the old man stepped closer, and you stared at him.

“Just the daughter of the surgeon that was supposed to cut her open.” you shrugged, and you shook when his finger pressed just the slightest against the trigger. “Woah, calm down pops. I’m not here to kill you, just to warn you that they’re coming after you.”

“Who? Who is coming after him?” Ellie inquired and your eyes were back on hers.

“Abby. My dear sister.” you scoffed, and moaned in pain when she tugged on your broken hand. “Fuck.”

“And why would you help us?” Joel spat, a visible frown on his face.

“Because you helped me first by killing that son of a bitch.” you answered. “And because she wants me dead too.”

You hissed and the woman simply sighed, finishing up with the bandaging of your broken hand.

“This… I don’t even have words for this. So you’re telling me that this group lead by… Abby, is coming after Joel to take revenge on him?” a man with brown long slicked hair sighed.

“How many are them?”

“About twenty.” you bit down on your lip when the curly haired tightened the bandages so your hand would be immobilized.

“Weapons?” Joel inquired, right beside the man who had just asked you. They looked similar. Maybe brothers.

“Guns, knives… Pretty much the same stuff you guys have.” you shrugged.

You could feel that pair of green emerald eyes burying into your skull from across the room, but you’ve decided just to ignore it and live peacefully with yourself.

“I still don’t understand it. Why would you make it all the way here to warn us?”

“I already told your, pops. Shit, you really need to check your hearing.” you rolled your eyes. “I’m just thanking you for killing my father that’s it.” you thanked the woman who you recall had been called Maria before when she had finished up with your hand.

“You’re… Thanking me.” you nodded. “For killing your father.” you nodded again and Joel blinked in confusion. “Why?”

“Why what?” you asked.

“Why are you thanking me for killing him? Shouldn’t you be siding up with your sister and coming after me?” you looked at him and then away, falling silent.

You got up from your seat and took your bag. They all watched you put your coat back on and push your gun on the back of your pants.

“Does it really matter? Just take the fucking help and try not to die.” you spat. It was obvious the venom and bitterness on your voice. “I’m done here. I’m leaving, probably to the other side of this fucking country to live in a farm or some shit until the day I peacefully die.” you pulled up the zipper of your coat. “I would say it was nice meeting you. But you treated me like pure shit, so I’d be lying.” you said before making your way towards the door.

“Wait.” Joel’s brother, now known as Tommy, interrupted your leave. “Why don’t you stay? At least for a couple of days, you’re safe here and they would find you. Once we take care of them, you won’t need to hide anymore and leave. At least let us thank you for helping us.” you stated at him, then at the rest.

“I don’t take charity.” you said. “I’ll leave now.”

“You really wanna go?” that was the first time you’ve heard her talk in hours. You could help but look at her, at her auburn hair, freckles and green eyes. “Since you’ve been in the same room for days, you might have not noticed the fact that we’re in the middle of a fucking storm.” and as if the world was trying to make a point, a loud bolt of lightning came crashing down the sky. How the hell hadn’t you heard those before? “And it will get much worse.”

You took a deep breath. Fucking hell.

After a few moments in silence you talked, sighing.

“Fine. But once it’s gone I am too. I’m not fucking staying for tea parties.” you spat.

And just like that, your cage had expanded from a room to the whole town.

Your hand hurt like hell. And you were fucking exhausted. But you couldn’t sleep. Wouldn’t sleep as long as she’d be there.

“Are your ever gonna put that thing down?” her green eyes met the switchblade on your hand.

You were back at her house, where Maria had placed you from the time being until she could find a clean and fixed place for you to stay.

“I think we both know the answer to that.” you answered, squinting your eyes, to what she rolled hers.

“Whatever. I’m gonna smoke. You enjoy your little psychotic breakdown.”

You watched as she made her way towards her side bed table and took a metal little box out of it before coming back to the salon, where the two of you had been sitting.

“Weed? Seriously?” you inquired, eyebrows rising when the smell hit your nose once she had opened the lid.

“I’d better be high if I’ll be sharing my house with you. It’s survival instinct.” she shrugged and you scoffed.

“Bitch.”

“That’s all? Damn, you really know where to hurt don’t you?” the sarcasm was palpable on her voice, and you rolled your eyes.

“Whatever.”

You two fell silent, and you simply stared at her roll the blunt with her slim yet long fingers, lick the paper to seal it and burn it just the slightest so it would have more firmness.

She took a big inhale once it was lit up.

You shrugged your jacket off, uncovering your shoulders and arms, more comfortable now on only your white tank top.

Ellie’s eyes landed on the exposed skin, the emerald shifting once she had took in the multiple scars that decorated them, along with your shoulders and back.

“Pretty aren’t they?” you sarcastically scoffed, and that’s when she noticed that she had been staring for far too long.

“Clickers?” she inquired, taking another drag of her blunt.

“My father.”

Her face fell, her breath hitched as you looked away.

“Let’s say I wasn’t his favorite.” you shrugged. “And that he was a fucking alcoholic with a lot of bad days.”

Ellie looked at you, silently, listening. She felt sorry for you. She never got to have a father, nor a biological one at least, but just to think about how your own blood could have done something as brutal as that to you…

“So now you might understand why I came here. How grateful I am to Joel for having ripped him out of my life. He saved me.” you muttered, still not looking at her.

Long minutes passed by in complete silence.

You two didn’t interact until she slowly but softly offered you her blunt. You rose your eyebrows before accepting it, taking a drag of it and slightly coughing.

“This shit’s strong.” you bitterly said, but still took another long and deep drag, already feeling slightly lightheaded.

“Why thank you. Appreciate it.” she smirked and your mouth slightly fell. “Best in Jackson.” you laughed at her confidence, your laughter filling and warming the room.

You offered it back to her, and as the time passed you two shared it in a deep silence.

Soon enough it went out, and Ellie got up, eyes tired and body heavy.

“Gonna go to my room. There’s more blankets on that basket in case you need ‘em.” you nodded. “Night.”

“Night.”

And with that you laid on the sofa, eyes unable to close. But it was okay. You couldn’t truly remember the last time your mind had been quiet enough to sleep. Ellie stood up all night as well. And the silence in between the two of you couldn’t be any more loud.

a/n; this has been sitting on my drafts for far too long. part two? 👀

ellie williams masterlist! <3

xxx

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hazbin-hotlee37 · 1 month

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Alright. You wanted it, you got it.

Here you heathens.

Giggles and Cuddles

Switch!Vox, Switch!Alastor. Radiostatic (Vox x Alastor)

To the rest of hell, Vox and Alastor were rivals. Enemies. Each others worst nightmare.

To the Vees and other Hazbins...

They were the most wholesome couple in hell.

It was hard to believe, but it was true. Since the little groups found out about their relationship, they stopped hiding it around them. The others knew better than to tell anyone.

The two were all over eachother, and not sexually (much to Angels disappointment)

They were just very affectionate, whether it was simple kisses to full on cuddle sessions. They were always close by each other when they weren't busy. It was really cute to their little audiences.

Currently, the two were in the hotel, Alastors room specifically. The radio demon was laying in bed reading a book and the TV host was clinging to his side. Full on koala hug. Half his face was buried against his boyfriends rib area and his arm was on the Deer demons chest, scrolling on his phone.

It was quite comfortable for them both. They enjoyed being in eachothers company, they didn't even need to speak to feel like this. Everything seemed perfect.

Until disaster struck...

Vox got a message from Velvette, it wasn't anything important but its what happened next that was. When Vox got the message, his screen vibrated and with where his head was, it messed with his lover. The radio demon flinched slightly and his breath hitched, which did not go unnoticed by the TV host, much to the Deer demons demise.

Vox smiled slightly and put his phone down, wrapping his arms around his boyfriends torso and his legs around his waist. He buried his face into Alastors ribs area, and the Radio demon obliviously wrapped an arm around his lover.

Vox the vibrated his screen against the deer demons ribs, like he was getting another message but it was a bit longer. In response, Alastor jumped and snickered quietly.

"D-Dear-.. Could you please-" His sentence was cut short when the TV headed demon did it again, but this time longer and one of his hands spidered across his partners tummy.

The reactio was immediate. Alastor dropped his book and burst into staticy cackles. Trying to push his partner away but not wanting to hurt him either.

"Whats the matter, Ally?~ Too ticklish?~" Vox says playfully, looking at his boyfriends face for a moment. Relishing in the sight of a genuine smile on the deer demons face.

But... One problem happened. Vox flustered himself. Second hand Lee mood... Fuck.

He stopped his assault and it was clear the Radio demon didn't let this little fact go unnoticed. He quickly switched their positions, now sitting on Voxs thighs and looking down at his lover.

"My, my, how the tables have turned~ Did someone fluster themself? How cute~" Alastor teases with a smile, this one more evil then the one before. He then started wiggling his fingers so close to his partners sides but not making contact.

"Whahahait! Ahal-.." Vox was already giggling and the Radio demon hasn't even made contact yet.

"I haven't even touch you yet, darling~"

"Shuhut it, I knohohw!"

Oh. The squeal that left the TV headed demon after the Radio demon started scribbling his fingers all over Voxs tummy and sides... Alastor winced himself and his ears pinned back for a moment.

"Must you be so loud, dear? Its really not that serious, why make such a fuss~"

"Gahahahaha! Ahahal! Ihihit tihickles! Ihit tickles! Plehehease!"

"Well, that's the point, silly! Its supposed to tickle and make you laugh your goofy little head off! And it seems to be doing just the trick!"

Vox damn near shrieked when his boyfriend tickled his ribs with one hand and squeezed his hips with the other. Holy shit, if thought it tickled before... He was in for it now!

"OHOHO gohohd! Nohoht *Hic!* there! Alahastor!!"

"Thats my name, screen-bean, don't where it out~"

Oh. That got to Vox. His screen flushed and his internal fans kicked on pretty quickly. Alastor wasn't really one for pet names, he found them more demeaning than anything but this little one seemed to stick. It was rather cute to him how much it made his lover flush.

"NOHO MOHORE! *Hic!* *Hic!* Plehehease!"

"Hmmm, alright, alright. Fine, but only because you asked sooo nicely~"

With that the Radio demon ceased his attack, chuckling softly as he watch his lover curl up and melt into a little puddle of breathy giggles. It really was a sight...

"Cruhuel... And evil!" Vox says as he gathers himself.

"Well, you know me, darling" Alastor says with a smile, kissing the top of his lovers screen.

"Yeah... I know you're a piece of shit! A-And a sadistic asshole. And an absolute softie" Vox says with a smile, wrapping his arms around the Radio demon and buried his face into his lovers chest.

"*Sigh* I will not confirm nor deny what you said is true. But.. I think we both know the answer" He says with a softer smile, holding the TV host close.

Things always felt so right in the arms of your loved one, and while they would have to act like enemies once again tommorow. It just means that they'll cherish today all the more.

#hazbin hotel tickle #ler!alastor #lee!alastor #ler!vox #lee!vox #radiostatic #lots and lots of fluff #Soo much fluff

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lets-try-some-writing · 2 months

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Oh my God! The "Innocent Abominations - Wholesome Edition" snippet was ADORABLE!! I'm grinning like a loon! (Not the original anon btw)

I'm just waiting for whenever Mandroid or GHOST inevitably screws up and Optimus goes Mama Bear Mode. It would probably win Dot's approval of him (if only for the safety of her children) and put Megatron and Elita at ease that Optimus hasn't lost his touch. "Strong Enough To Be Gentle" is right.

It might even be a little bittersweet for them, getting to see Optimus so clearly at ease and carefree, like having their little Orion back aver all these years.

It is indeed a little bittersweet. The Matrix took Orion from them long ago. Seeing him back? It is both a blessing and a curse.

Previous part here.

━━━━━━ ⊙ ❖ ⊙ ━━━━━━━━━━━━

Optimus will fight denta and claw for the Terrans. The Matrix made him a softer mech so that he could interact with them, but it did nothing to eliminate his lethality in battle. The switch is so severe and so quick that it is hard to determine if its even the same mech at all. One moment Optimus was calmly helping the Terrans compose battle plans and praising them for their willingness to fight. Then, without a moment's hesitation, he was sprinting forward with the viciousness of an old god released from his shackles.

Mandroid may have had technology on his side, but he did not have the will of a god pushing him on. Within him, the Matrix made its demands, and as its loyal vessel, Optimus obeyed. It called for the destruction of all that would dare touch the Terrans. He relished in its commands.

The Terrans fought on their own for a time, working with Megatron to bring down Mandroid. But they were not alone for long. Optimus threw himself forward with viciousness that none present had every witnessed. His movements were familiar to Megatron, but the way his gaze locked onto the enemy and the way he seemed to feel no pain? That was new and it worried Megatron more than he cared to admit. The Terrans merely watched in awe as Optimus tore into Mandroid's machines.

When all was said and done, the Terrans cheered and went to Megatron to celebrate. But amidst their celebration, Optimus stood amidst the wreck covered in energon, his axe still readied as he stalked through the ruins. The Matrix demanded he ensure the threat was destroyed, and so that was what he did. Megatron could not call him away, nor could the Terrans. Optimus Prime stalked like a dead mech for hours before the Matrix was satisfied.

When he returned to the Maltos the very next day, there was not a single trace of the terrifying war machine from the earlier battle. Optimus smiled and made his way forward as if nothing had happened. He was covered in cuts, but his disposition was that of the dock worker that Megatron and Elita knew long before the war. It was offputting, but the Terrans didn't notice or care.

Dot had been suspicious of the Prime since his arrival, especially since Megatron was on edge. She had been willing to put up with it, but seeing Megatron's growing concern, she had questions.

Dot: This isn't normal for him.

Megatron: No, it is not.

Dot: What happened to him?

Megatron: He carries the Matrix, a relic from our world. Little is known about it since most of its bearers were either tight lipped or killed before much could be said.

Dot: The relic is doing this.

Megatron: That is my fear. It took Orion Pax from us and gave us Optimus Prime. Now... it seems to have combined the two. I don't believe it will endanger the children or the Terrans, but the Matrix has proven to be unpredictable.

Dot: Do I need to do something about Optimus?

Megatron: Not yet. He has no intention of taking the Terrans. However I cannot say he will not act drastically later.

Megatron: Consider him a wary ally for the time being. Elita and I will observe him and ensure that his state will not harm your family.

#transformers #maccadam #transformers earthspark #earthspark megatron #earthspark optimus #dot malto #the matrix of leadership #earthspark elita one

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sapphia · 1 year

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we need to talk about grian. “alliances in the life series never last” no, your alliances in the life series never last because you don’t want them to. i’m so tired of this bitch making her own destiny and then pulling a surprised pikachu face when the natural consequences of her actions eventuate. grian really spent this season rushing jimmy and joel headlong to their deaths AND helping the only other person likely to beat them there survive, and then he’s surprised when he’s left without a team? the team he tried to kick jimmy out a few episodes ago for literally no reason? he couldn’t sabotage it easily so he just went the old fashioned way of general recklessness.

grian spent his entire first season chained to scar, complaining the whole time of course, humming and haa-ing about what his alliance would be after he died and went yellow. they were literally several episodes in with an entire life built together and he was like “remember this is just until i’m yellow. then i’m off to find a new alliance lol”. as they settle into their long-term stronghold in their sand-monopoly, totally threatening to leave scar alone and in a situation where he’d have to defend the entire desert on his red life. then when grian didn’t go to yellow until really late in the game and their closest allies had died so he couldn’t switch teams anyway, he ends up sticking with scar and actually winning together with him (though he takes the solo win and kills scar in pvp).

then in double life he like… decides he wants to be soulmates with bigb for some reason even though soulmates are chosen at random? like he literally sees bigb running around the mountainside while looking for his soulmate and is like “i wish he was my soulmate😍” and then decides he will be and is disappointed that they aren’t. and then is even more disappointed when he finds out his soulmate is scar, even though they’re good friends and work well together and literally won last time they played together and scar has improved massively at the game since then. (not that grian noticed that at all for the entire season they were paired together. literally he said in limited life “now that i’m not partnered with scar he’s actually dangerous.” BABE. YOU WON TOGETHER IN THE FIRST SEASON. LAST SEASON HE WATERBUCKET-CLUTCHED 100 BLOCKS DOWN FROM RIGHT NEXT TO YOU. HE’S BEEN DANGEROUS TO PEOPLE THIS ENTIRE TIME. YOU’VE JUST BEEN ON HIS SIDE SO HE’S NEVER BEEN THAT DANGEROUS TO YOU).

so yeah then he spends the whole series being “secret soulmates” with bigb for no reason other than he’s annoyed he’s paired with scar/not paired with bigb. in the game with randomly-generated partners. his game with randomly-generated partners.

and even now he had an alliance with scar’s team lined up perfectly. his closest allies on the server and his teammates all dying. note that they weren’t actually dead yet. grian had already given up on his team while they were still alive and kicking. but anyway, he decides he needs a new team and he has a set of very close allies right there. but no, he literally would rather go make an alliance with the singular mortal enemy of his just-dead teammate rather than put himself on the same team as scar again. because alliances and friendships mean nothing here, right? etho and bdubz are out there fighting to roleplay together season after season, scott is giving up lives to someone he partnered with back in season 1 and he and cleo have basically decided they vibe so well together they’ll be bffs through all of time, and ties are creating the same approximate polycule they form in literally every season. but heaven forbid grian has to acknowledge he and scar have spent more time together than apart in this series.

grian thinks alliances break up quickly because he has wildly unstable relationships with literally everyone on the server. he’s the undiagnosed nd girl being like “man, people suck :(”. no girl, you suck at people. you have a condition. get help.

#grian #limited life #limited life smp #third life smp #life series smp #double life #life series #rambling #lol #desert duo #bad boys limited life

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streets-in-paradise · 9 months

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Spoils of War - Dastan x (fem) Secret Assassin Servant!Reader

Prince of Persia Oneshot

Requested by Anon

" Hi OMD when I saw requests for prince of Persia I literally fell on my knees, literally anything for Dastan pls or enemies to lovers with a secret assassin servant reader 🤔"

Sure, anon! i love PoP and love writing for Dastan. Thanks for your request! Hope you will enjoy it as much as i loved writing it 😊

Warnings: Historical minded naturalization of slavery as concequence of war, prince x servant enemies to lovers with political intrigue happening in the middle ( nizam weaponizing the hate of the reader to attempt getting dastan killed.)

Summary:A persian attack destroys the home city of your arranged fiancé during your visit to meet him and the winners take you with them after the sacking. Doomed to become the servant of the man who killed him, your miserable and friendless existence as a slave in a foreign country couldn't get any worse.

Just as you are about to reach a breaking point the brother of the king offers you a dangerous way out that you take full of anger, hate and desperation. Switching your wedding night for a black widow job assassinating your master isn't the honorable first moment of union with a man you dreamed, but fate will keep surprising you as you start to discover the kind of man Dastan trully is.

Notes: This turned out loosely inspired in greek mythology and The Son of the Sheik (1926). I didn't plan it like that from the beggining, i realized midway into the writing but thought it would be cool to tell you.

Tags: @blackheart-beauty @axelwolf8109

The city was doomed and sooner or later your rank was going to become a curse. The man you were promised to was the leader of the last defensive attempt and his fate was falling in battle against the sons of Sharaman. Naturally, it was yours to become part of the loot gained on the sacking and being carried away to the palace. From then you could only expect the worst, you would be theirs to dispose.

The persian who discovered you and got you out the hiding spot introduced you to some of the royals with the pride of a well accomplished task. He knew he just had found something they would like or, more precisely, fitting for the eye of the youngest prince. A proper reward for the maker of the feat, since you heard then he was the killer of your fiancee, making coincidence allied with the rules of war.

Followed closely by the careless yet present surveillance of his uncle, Dastan of Persia came to you presenting himself as the needed comfort for a helpless and terrified woman. His eyes were trying to find yours staring back at him as he insisted over and over that he won't hurt you, but his attempt of checking a superficial wound in your cheek caused an intempestive reaction.

You spat on his face, but that clear expression of deep hatred didn't stop the course of fate. You became his servant, one exclusively dedicated to him until you could be trusted near any other persian royals. Bis, the man handing you to his prince, was in charge of watching over you.

Resistance was all that kept you standing, you refused to embrace the new identity coming from the reality being imposed to you. Despite being placed in degrading circumstances you were still a noble from birth and Nizam was the only one who seemed to understand that.

The world was turned upside down, a vulgar man turned into a prince was master of a servant who was once about to be queen. Dastan irritated you above everyone, the parody of a royal he performed was an insult to your principles and he was always teasing you for staying tied to your manners. Nobody would ever be on your side because you were a stranger even among the people they had enslaved you with. To them you were just the foreigner once engaged to their deceased prince before marriage got to happen, but that wasn't enough to owe you any loyalty. You had no friends there and your family wasn't aware of anything so you couldn't count on them.

In that situation, the brother of the king and his sharp ironic whispering was the only approach you found relatable. Unlike Dastan, he had no interest in acting like a moral grounded hero who rescued you from the ruins. He felt to you like an exhausted nobleman, the only one still able to perceive the oddities of the context surrounding you.

Your humiliation reached its peak when the prince introduced you with the restant members of the gang of savages he called friends. You were expected to serve them and although he wouldn't allow anyone to disrespect you and no one did. you had the feeling of being admired with vulgarity as if they were showing approval of the leader's new toy. The prideful horror you didn't care to hide caused more and more teasing coming from him. When he finally got sick of it, Dastan admitted to be testing your qualities.

He said you were beautiful, but lacked humility and that needed to be fixed.

It was unbearable, you would have done anything to get away from him. Feeling he was the only one you could trust, you later told Nizam about the aberration and then discovered you weren't alone. He shared your bitterness to an even higher extreme, directly feeding the flames of your hate towards Dastan.

" Do you want to get rid of the rat? So do i. " He confessed to you as a conclusion of your common venting. " I have the power to fix your life here if you fix that for me. "

" What can be granted to me that would make this any better? " You skeptically recalled. " I lost my life, the small privilege of the highest valued slave is nothing compared with what I once had."

" I can make your living condition be re-evaluated. " He casually offered you,as if it was an easy task that meant nothing to him compared to other things he could do with the amount of power he had. " I would make one of my two nephews marry you. If you behave and serve my interests it could even be Tus so you would get the illusion of being a future queen again. The union would be strategic, you'll pay me when he will be crowned king. "

Returning to nobility having only one secret owner seemed infinitely better than being a servant. You weren't bothered by the idea of becoming a political tool of Nizam if that would get your dignity restored.

" An offer like this must demand a higher price than just helping you keep your nephew controlled for you to rule through him, so tell me what it is. "

" You must kill Dastan." Nizam ordered ríght away. " A chance like this one hasn't been presented in many years. Why do you think I have been following you so patiently? To offer you a friend?"

He was mocking you but you were too lost thinking on the task itself to care about that detail.

" I knew from the beginning that you were perfect to provide me this service. "

The absurdity of that claim allowed you to mock him back.

" Couldn't you find a trained assassin? Or a man of the royal guard? Anyone could do it for a proper price. "

" If anyone could do it, your prince should still be breathing. When battle calls Dastan is as fast as the lightning. No fíghter can catch him by surprise, he can't be taken down in an ambush. It's impossible to defeat him by force, but he is easier to weaken by passion. "

The implications on that last sentence alarmed you more than the command itself.

" I think you are mistaken, ... he does nothing but annoy me for his amusement. "

" He desires you. " Nizam insisted. " The persistence on his part indicates that he wants you more intensely than what he should. What you have to do is tame that wild beast, once he will fall asleep drunk of you he will not even notice the movement of the air as your dagger sinks in his flesh. "

It offended you, that was an insult to the sacrifices you were making in that hostile environment in order to survive the way you wanted.

" I'm NOT a prostitute, I still guard the only treasure that you persians haven't stolen from me. I will bleed over the bedsheet of my husband like the honorable practices command, not let Dastan have that before ending him for his blood to mix with mine. Find another way for me to murder him or I am out."

The energic refusal angered him and he showed you a side of him even darker than what his command inferred.

" You were simply lucky, girl. How long do you think that luck is going to last if you reject my offer? " He hissed in a threatening tone. " Very soon you will run out of things to loose. If you don't give it to him, somebody else will take it because being our slave means any man here has the ríght to go their way with your pretty body. I'm giving you a chance for revenge and a future reward for the stain consequential to your current condition, more than what you deserve. "

The cruel vocab was harshly pointing out an actual truth. Once Dastan wouldn't be there and Bis would follow him to war you would remain in the palace alone without any guarantee of protection. Following the orders of Nizam was the only way for you to land a respectable position and you didn't lack motives to kill the prince. Trusting in the word of a man who wanted to kill his nephew was a dangerous move, but desperate times needed desperate measures.

The execution of the plan started in slow moves, with passive receptions of his provocations intending to generate neutral to positive interactions inviting the prince to trust you. A sudden change of mind would have been too suspicious, you only allowed yourself to act progressively more friendly with Bis.Having his best friend on your side was a good mechanism of approach, but given that was also the man taking responsibility for you it was strategical from all pointviews.

Unfortunately, it all became counterproductive as the intimate proximity needed to be generated for the future success of the job increased. Dastan and Bis were showing true concern for your adaptation when you stopped being mean to them. The orphan made prince shared some particular details of his experience on the drastic change, details that his brothers would never come to completely understand, and the similarity on the feelings he described with yours got to shock you. Despite he was talking of gaining privilege while you had fallen in disgrace, you both knew what it was to feel out of place. Spending time with him was part of your day work and the secret mission, but it also made you start getting to know him at a personal level and doing so was placating your anger.

The first time he made romantical advance on you he still managed to surprise you. Romantical undertones were hard to spot beyond the aura of attractiveness following his every act, his ways were flirty all the time. However, he put in some real work in making that act very distinguishable for you.

Under the excuse of helping you avoid work for a while he took you to his favorite spot in the palace, or more precisely on top of it. His hiding place from childhood, where he would go back then when the pressures of change were becoming too much for the street boy expected to become a prince. You were sitting next to each other with little to no space in between, sharing stories of your past lives. Out of sudden at some point in one of his tales he interrupted himself off to apologize to you.

" Gaining glory with your suffering was never my intention. I can't change the past, but I want to be a helpful part of your future. There is nothing wrong with being a servant if the royal family protects you and I am taking care of that.”

He wasn’t completely satisfied with that and imagined you wouldn't be either if he would keep it that simple, so he encouraged himself to continue.

“ I know what it's like to struggle for survival, but I am aware you will never get rid of the noble girl you used to be. Her virtues and flaws will stay with you, only time and use will show you how to deal with that. If I wanted to help you get rid of that tendency to judge others based on their origins, it is not only because I don't want you to hate me ... Do you think I didn't despise nobility before I became a prince? Adapting costed me some self hatred back when I was learning to emulate their ways, that's how I know that you will only be happy if you get rid of all sorts of prejudices. "

Incredibly wise personal advice with a heartfelt touch, You never imagined he would be capable of such deep thinking. Until then he was to you a brute chosen for the potentiality the king found in his fast movements thinking of forming a fighter. The colorful tale presenting him as a noble hearted boy made a prince in an act of justice was to you an excuse hiding a military reason. It had to be the creation of an unstoppable elite soldier, a mighty weapon for the persian army with fierce loyalty for the king who dragged him out of the mud.

The man you were discovering justified the legend, maybe there was more in him to see than what surface looking would show.

" Why do you tell me this?"

" Because I don't want you to hate yourself seeing how everything changes around you, but you fight to stay the same. "

He made you smile, you couldn't help it. Embarrassed as you were for that moment of weakness, you couldn't even look him in the eye. Noticing you were looking down made him follow your glance and your eyes meet in the ríght spot for something he wanted to show you.

" See this?" He pointed at the rustic necklace he was wearing. " I keep it since those days, a reminder of the life I left behind keeping me grounded. "

You were encouraged to inspect it and the prince secretly enjoyed some accidental caressing through your action.

" Difficult thing for someone living in the heights, always jumping and climbing everywhere. "

Your mock made him chuckle and the level of intimacy you were reaching encouraged him to get more personal.

" Did you love him? Is that why being with me becomes such a heavy burden to you? The same hands bringing death to your beloved seeking to caress you... Is that what you despise and fear?"

Dastan looked lost and regretful. It was as if he feared that any chance to get closer with you was lost forever and he would be the one to blame for that.

" I wasn't in love with him, but I did love the idea of being a queen someday. " You admitted, wondering to yourself why you were encouraging him. " If you would have grown up in contact with more noble girls, you would understand. "

" I can't give you a throne, but if you let me I'll make this place your new home. If I once was the one who took away all your safeties, allow me now to be your shelter. "

The hand you still had on his chest was shaking a bit, so he took it and caressed it to calm the trembling before placing a kiss on its back.

You were absolutely speechless, no sound coming out from your parted lips as you observed him in amazement. Dastan awaited while eliminating all distance between you and once your lips were close enough he stopped fighting back the urge to kiss you. A long, mad, desperate kiss that left you gasping for air.

You should have seen it coming, but you were momentarily swept away by his passion. Not only you didn't resist it, you enjoyed it. It was expected of you to be manipulating his passionate energy, yet you couldn't even keep the upper hand when the prince was kissing you. Heat invaded you, as if your whole body was burning of desire for your enemy.

Those sensations were completely new to you and that overwhelmed you, keeping you far away from the calculative coldness the deal demanded. With your certainties completely shakened, you would still fool yourself thinking you were going to make it. Over and over again you informed Nizam of your excellent improvements claiming to be awaiting for his instructions, but the truth was that you were a victim of Dastan's charm falling for him without wanting to acknowledge it.

The opportunity chosen by Nizam to strike presented itself sooner than what you would have preferred. There was going to be a celebration in the palace and you would have to do more than serving food and keeping the goblets of your masters full. As the new rarity brought with the recent sacking, the local nobles could feel curious and you would have to be presented around them for their entertainment. With your beauty of past days restored and reconceptualized through suggestive dressing you were supposed to bait one of the two noble born princes to want you for themselves and lead the peasant one to his death. Your fate depended on the outcome of that night, no margin for mistakes allowed.

While circumstances impeded your target from his gentlemanly actions taking for himself the role of your protector, Bis was still there to take his place. It wasn’t hard to see that the outstanding change in your appearance impressed him, but he admitted it in a completely harmless way. It felt as if a friend would be telling you that you looked pretty and tried to cheer you up while making you some company before the great moment. Only then you realized that you may have made your first friend among the persians and the comfort made you feel horrible. Sweet, innocent Bis thought you were nervous merely because you were going to dance for the noblemen and he did everything in his power to comfort you. His kind efforts reached unknown limits when he said he knew Dastan fancied you and he was going to convince him to marry you so wouldn’t have to go through that anymore.

It moved you, his consideration was not what you would have once expected from the man who caused your doom. The misjudgement generated by your well justified hatred wouldn’t let you see past that and you sold yourself to the wrong master hoping the enemy of your enemies would strategically become your friend. Bis turned out to be your friend and it was most likely that Nizam wouldn’t show you any mercy. You were an easy scapegoat, he would get rid of you before you could open your mouth to accuse him.

The crossroad you stuck yourself in didn’t have any good way out. if you would confess to Dastan the truth, he would reject you before daring to doubt his beloved uncle. However, if you would desist from obeying Nizam, he would destroy you and the prince would continue to be in danger while completely unaware of that. The only solution was evaluating what mattered the most to you and Bis gave you the answer when you felt a sparkle of excitement beneath the layers of guilt as you heard of his plan to help you. Deep down you were on board with it, Dastan awakened feelings you had never experienced during your brief meeting with your arranged fiance. There was no doubt that you despised him at first, but he kept working hard to change your mind until he eventually did it.

Unfortunately, you realized that too late. He could only hate you if he knew of the conspiracy, Dastan would never be yours and you could only blame yourself for that. Time would come for you to face the consequences of your mistakes, but that night you were going to get your little farewell before his heart would break in front of you and yours with his. Despite you being mixed in the crowd of dancers, you were still able to make him feel like you were performing just for him. The awe in his beautiful, round eyes following your movements was slowly melting you, he was the only man that mattered to you there. Being his servant had at least one perk and that was not needing to hide for decorum, he only had to make you a sign to approach and you abandoned the group for him.

“ Is it good like this, my lord?” You purred innocently while proceeding to sit on his lap. “ I hope you enjoyed the show. “

Dastan was fascinated, almost unable to believe what was happening knowing that it was coming from you.

“ … I loved it, but wasn’t expecting my favorite girl to perform.”

You chuckled and began to run your fingers through his hair.

“ Surprise! See how well adjusted I am? I will not be a problem for you tonight.”

He smiled foolishly, as if his mind was numbed because he was feeling you with all his senses.

“ Well, it’s becoming difficult to focus on anything else but your ravishing looks.” He admitted, unsure of where he would wish to land his hands first but still doubting if he should do it. “ … It may be arabian perfume what I’m smelling over here?”

Dastan reached your neck to keep playfully sniffing. Since he could be then sure you weren’t rejecting him anymore, he began to cover that sensitive spot with kisses. A shy gasp escaped from you and he chuckled against your skin, to which you were completely sure you would end up following him to his bedroom. However, your ecstatic responses ended on the way when you noticed the subtle warning look of Nizam witnessing you escape together across the room.

It shrank your heart and you froze with fear, cursing the moment when you decided to associate with that evil man. The sweet prince was unsuspecting of anything, confusing your sorrow and regret with a fear of his touch making you doubt. Once you were behind closed doors all he did was to hold you in his arms.

“ I value the effort that you put in for me tonight, but I will not push limits the noble girl in you wouldn’t want me to.” He was sweetly comforting you. “ Imagine this is our wedding night and I’m the husband respecting your choice of not giving yourself to me until I’ll stop being a stranger.”

You both were laying in the bed over the sheets you changed that morning and he was trying to revive the code of conduct you were supposed to forget, bringing to you the world that didn’t belong to you anymore. Dastan thought the effects of the weight of your secret mission were signs of fear for the loss of your maidenhood to him and doing so he proved to be exactly like the husband you had always wanted.

“ Would you do that for me?” You asked with hesitation, the tone of your voice shaking as you tried to fight tears of deep regret. “ … Even right here and now, when I am nothing to you? “

“ Who says you couldn’t be my wife someday? My sole existence here is a violation to many rules, don’t you think? “ He vaguely teased, also making fun of one of the many insults you proffered to him over the course of your first days at his service. “ I’m a street kid made prince, who would have the nerve to judge if I pick a slave princess?”

Tears began to fall through your face and that time you were dragging him for a kiss, desperately trying to hush your thoughts and let him know how deeply you corresponded his affection before the inevitable would have to happen.

“ Nizam … he will never let us be.” You attempted to explain to him right afterwards without choking on the crying. “ Dastan, I did something terrible. I’m the one who doesn’t deserve you. I let him manipulate my emotions … I didn’t want you to save me if I could save myself, there was a time when I truly despise you and he took advantage of me for that.``

The bewilderment in his gaze was breaking your heart in advance.

“ What are you talking about?”

There was no easy way to say what he needed to know, but at that moment his safety mattered more than what could be of you if he wouldn’t believe you. Fortunately, you remembered you had one proof with some chances of making your story plausible. Dastan was slightly concerned when you stood up to loosen your clothes and search for the well hidden weapon that, had the order been fulfilled, you would have kept away from his sight before he would come to undress you.

You handled it to him immediately, letting the evidence speak for you before you would have to.

“ Do you recognize this dagger?”

Dastan examined it carefully, but there was no doubt in his conclusion.

“ How?” He defensively asked you. “ Who gave this to you?”

“ I’ve got it from the hand of your uncle, he strictly commanded me to kill you in your sleep.” You informed him, much to your regret. “ He convinced me with empty promises of manipulating Tus into making me his wife so my position would be restored, back when I used to care about that … Before getting to know you and find out you are all I ever wanted."

You couldn't stand his suffering. He did believe you, but that didn't make things any better. In any case, it was a double betrayal.

" Do you loathe me so much? " He asked you, visibly hurted. " Does he loathe me this much?"

Desperate and unsure of what to do, all that occured to you was being completely honest with him.

" Dastan, i love you! I could have kept the secret and face the rage of Nizam alone, but then the truth would be gone with me and he would still be close to you planning new ways to harm you." You tried to explain him. " I don't care about what could happen to me anymore, I'm doing this for you… I can't let him hurt you."

He stood up in silence and you could tell that he was about to kick you out. Before he could get to even suggest it you threw yourself in front of him embracing his knees.

"Save yourself, my love. Please, be sensical. " You humbly pleaded. " I'm not begging you to forgive me, I know i have just lost you forever and i'm willing to accept my punishment. "

You released him and closed your eyes, still on your knees but adopting a sacrificial position. Dastan understood you were inviting him to take revenge on you if he desired so hoping that would satisfy him. Paying the price for both should stop him from recklessly confronting Nizam.

Not even at the peak of desperation when you were about to be made a war captive he had seen you like that… And you weren't even trying to save yourself, but offering him your life so he wouldn't risk his.

The prince let the dagger fall on the floor, shocked to the realization that you were trully in love with him.

" As you have spared my life, I release you from your debt. " He informed you, then gesturally invited you to rise up. " How could you possibly believe I would have the very same strenght you lacked? If love stopped your hand, so it shall stop mine. "

Inmense gratitude made you smile despite the sorrow. From that point you would accept anything he demmanded of you. Either if he needed help to expose his uncle, or if he was planning to run away so the family conflict wouldn't end in war, you would follow him.

#prince of persia #prince of persia the sands of time #dastan #prince dastan #jake gyllenhaal #dastan x reader #prince dastan x reader #jake gyllenhaal x reader

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randomkposts · 3 months

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Hi, I saw your post about Ryoma coming to the (incorrect) conclusion that Corrin is biological related to Garon and it was really interesting! Do you have any more in-universe misconceptions like it? Thanks

I do. Thank you for your patience.

A bit less of a misconception by the characters, so much as a lie given by one of the characters, and that is why was Takumi was in the Port of Dia? He is invading in a diffrent place then planned, because he was on his way to rescue Azura.

But of course, once he sees Azura with the enemy, he venomantly denies that.

If you have Azura face him, he starts the dialouge surprised.

"Azura?! Last I heard, you were taken by Hoshidan soldiers. Ryoma worried himself sick planning your rescue."

Before decending into anger upon realizing she is there with the enemy.

"I told him it was pointless. And you proved me right, you Nohrian traitor. You should be ashamed."

Hinoka's opening dialouge if Azura fights her is ready to welcome her back.

" Thank goodness you’re safe! I was so upset when I heard you were missing. I’m sorry we couldn’t stop those rogue soldiers from taking you away. You must have gone through a lot of pain and suffering, but it’s over now. Come on back to Hoshido with me, I’ll keep you safe from the Nohrians."

And ends with Hinoka feeling betrayed by Azura's decision to switch sides.

"So you’re to betray us too? …So be it."

Ryoma, by the time you face him has already been told by Takumi and Hinoka.

"Azura... Hinoka and Takumi told me you were fighting with the enemy. I had to see it with my own eyes to believe it. What a pity. I suppose the Nohrian blood flowing in your veins lends itself to betrayal.."

In fact, they are far more upset about Azura betraying them then Corrin. Except Takumi, who is equally upset at both.

Now I'm not a warfare expert, but was Port Dia stratigically important? Not according to the reactions of the residents from what we see when warned. They seem confused and baffled.

Old Woman:" Say what? This town is caught up in the war between Nohr and Hoshido?"

Old Man: "Eh? This town is now a battlefield, you say? What in tarnation-"

Girl: "Oh dear! I've heard rumors about the war, but I never thought it would reach us here. "

Boy:" Dang, I had a feeling somethin' was up when I heard all that commotion. Never thought this town would see war."

They are not expecting the war. Which probably indicates this place isn't an ideal place to launch an invasion. What I looked up about Port cities in supply chains (not that I know much), indicate that "ports are usuable if the imeadite area is secure enough to avoid persistant attacks and capacity to process good sized shipments." Of course, we can't fully tell the size of the city from what we see of an in game battle map, but from what we do see and the reaction of the civilians, Port Dia is not considered stratigically important. Or at least, not important enough for them to be conisdered the location for the first official battle between home and invading army's.

So why did Takumi pick Port Dia to invade first? Particularly if they are Allied With Cheve? Wouldn't a landmass above or below the opera house suit better, and be better able to bring aid to their allies? The Opera house is where they went in Birthright, so why the change?

The only real reason I can find for Takumi to be invading Port Dia, is to grab Azura, and Make their way to Cheve or Macarath depending on the timeline and strength of Intel.

Which raises the question of when he fell into the Bottomless Canyon, as when faced in chapter 13, he has a diffrent battle theme from his siblings, which paired with his dialouge, indicates posession that wasn't present earlier. Then again, falling into the Bottomless Canyon probably isn't the only possible way to get posessed, as I highly doubt Pre-Possession Garon would go there for the funzies, so perhaps there are other ways of attaining influance in the minds of those who don't fall down an abyss into zombieland, particularly when you consider that the royals have dragon blood passed down through the bloodline, and in Fire Emblem, dragons-particularly old ones -are at risk of degeneration, and so become Manaketes to avoid it. Not all do.

So I wonder if Anankos is capable of using intense feelings of anger and despair to induce a sort of mental degeneration and manipulate targets to going with his goals. Takumi's intense feelings of betrayal, inferiority complex and dragon blood make him easy to persuade to go along this goal.

For all he claims he expected the avatar to be a traitor, he also has one of the faster support growths with the Avatar, something he lacks with both Hinoka and Hinata. Of course, the Avatar has fast support growths with all their siblings, but given how hostile Takumi starts off with them, you would think that shows in gameplay mechanics, and that it stays has some intresting implications.

The Nohrians fast support with all their siblings and both of their retainers, save for Xander who does not have fast support with Laslow. It makes some amount of sense, as Xander has lost retainers in the past, and Laslow was not one he chose personally. In contrast Ryoma is the only one who fast supports with all his siblings and both retainers. Unless something didn't make it on to Serenes forest, the next highest is Sakura who fast supports Corncob, her brothers, and both retainers, then Takumi, with Hinoka at the least, only fast supporting Ryoma out of all her siblings.

None of them fast support Azura, which could have been interesting, and Kaze only fast supports his brother, which parallels Flora, to their siblings Felicia and Saizo who fast support with their fellow retainer and Lord alongside their sibling. They are also both capable of picking a different loyalty then the one they start the game with.

What you can pick up about the bonds between the characters based on combat classes tell you things about the characters that add to their relationships I think.

#takumi fire emblem #ryoma fire emblem #azura fire emblem #hinoka fire emblem #fire emblem conquest #fire emblem fates #random k #port dia #fe laslow #xander fire emblem #sakura fire emblem #kaze fire emblem #saizo fire emblem #felicia fire emblem #flora fire emblem

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kopfkino-o · 3 months

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so i finally finished hofas. and don’t come for me, but this is officially my least favorite SJM book. spoilers and my thoughts below

this book was just so messy. it felt rushed, felt stuffed full of all these plot threads, and so many side characters were just shoved to the wayside. Like what was even the point of Sigrid? All home girl did was die so Ithan could become Prime. The story could have basically been the exact same without her character. Flynn and Declan largely felt interchangeable. Celestina, Naomi, and Isaiah could have also been left out and the story wouldn't have changed. Hypaxia was there, but we saw hardly any development on her arc or learned anything about her. And don't even get me started on Fury and Juniper (aka the glorified Uber drivers). There were too many characters and not enough time/focus on their development which left them feeling flat / useless.

As for Bryce…yikes. She came across as a discount Aelin with a cellphone and no regard for others trauma. I really don’t like the characterization of her in this book, which is a shame because I LOVED her in CC1. She came across as childish, petty, selfish, and brash. I found some of her "sassy one-liners" to be very cringey.

Lidia Cervos and Nesta Archeron deserve a fucking metal for carrying the entire book on their backs because miss Bryce certainly didn’t.

Now the world building…as a high fantasy girlie, the world building in this book was a treat. I loved all the lore, the history, the explanations we got, and the setup for the next ACOTAR book is truly impeccable (more to come on this later…). Howeverrr the plot of this book just fell a little flat for me. It felt messy, disjointed between all the POV switches, and I feel a lot of plot threads just went...nowhere (ie: the thunder birds, Viktoria the wraith, Ariadne and her dragon fire, the Viper Queen, etc).

I know SJM loves happy ever afters, but damn, she needs to stop with the fake-out deaths.

It really really cheapens the stakes and makes the entire story feel…underwhelming. Undeserved? Like am I truly supposed to be afraid of Asteri, the supposed Big Baddie™️ of the entire universe, if none of the main cast dies or truly suffers at their hands? Idk. Beating them felt…too easy. Too convenient for all the characters.

Also, I really disliked how there were no consequences for our characters.

Ruhn, Baxian, and Hunt are brutally tortured, yet they're back in the gym, thinking nothing of it, a few chapters later. We saw Nesta clearly struggle with the Mask yet both Bryce and Hunt used it as if it was a pair of cheap sunglasses. Tharion experienced no consequences from defecting the Viper Queen and don't even get me started about the River Queen. In exposition, he reflects on how she will 100% kill him, yet she's cool with him after he gives a few half-assed lines about "the right thing". Like mmmm okay babes I thought she wanted you dead dead, no questions asked. Everything was just too easy. Powerful objects were there when they were needed, former enemies turned allies without much of a fight, and the Asteri themselves were defeated rather easily in the end.

Overall? It was a 3.5 star read for me.

#court reads hofas #house of flame and shadow #lidia cervos #bryce quinlan #nesta archeron

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spectralquartzafterdark · 5 months

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In your AoE rewrite does Bumblebee ever call out Megatrons feelings for Rosie? I feel like he and Megatron would at least have thst in common since in my opinion Bee loved Charlie 😭

Ooh I actually have this written!

I was a scout. Observation was my job. To look out for anything suspicious. And I only got better at it when I lost my voice.

This entire mission had felt like a fever dream. When Sam and Optimus told me to stay with Rosie and Megatrons crew I wasn't happy. I knew logically Megatron wasn't a threat, but I didn't trust him. The only saving grace was the fact Jazz was around to keep things light. Rosie always seemed tense and Megatron mirrored her anxiety. A side effect of their interlink no doubt.

But as we made our way through the Appalachian mountains - I had noticed a small change in the former warlord. One I recognized all too well. It was something I had experienced. Something I still hold a bit of resentment towards Optimus for.

Megatron was looking at Rosie as if she were his conjunx. This theory was only solidified when he shut down for the night. I had caught him talking in his sleep a few times. It was always Ancient cybertronian. He could hide how his felt. But his spark couldn't. I took note and recordings. Just in case.

I understood that all too well. I still missed Charlie. It had been decades - and she still lived in my processors. In my spark. I couldn't let another bot suffer like I do. Even if it was a bot I still held hate for. I wouldn't wish this spark break on anyone. Including my worst enemy.

So, one day when it was just us and the humans and others were in sleep mode. I motioned for him to follow me.

“Follow me into the dark~” I kept my radio low and he followed me.

“Bumblebee is there something wrong?” He asked.

I looked to him, I pointed at myself and shook my head before I pointed at him and nodded.

“Gotta talk.” I played and wiggled.

“Well what is it?” Megatron was getting impatient.

“I can hear the things that you're dreaming about. When you open up your heart

And the truth comes out.”

“What in Primus are you talking about?” I Watched his faceplate contort, “I've not said anything.”

“And I know that I'm right. 'Cause I hear it in the night.” I pointed in Rosie's direction.

“SPIT IT OUT.” that struck a nerve. I was on the right track.

“I hear the secrets that you keep

When you're talking in your sleep.” I just stared at him.

He went still, I finger gunned at him. I patted my chassis and smiled showing him I understood.

“She's human… I can't…” He started.

I shook my head and switched the song, “Tell her you need her too. You tell her clearly. Speak what your heart wants you to.”

I was grateful for Spotify and Sirius radio. It made things easy.

“I… why help me?” He asked.

“Charlie.” I looked down and trilled. It hurt, but I knew he needed to know.

“Ah…” I heard him vent and watched as his stance relax, “Why care about my situation?”

“Don't suffer alone.” I let the radio play.

I watched his face. As he nodded I felt pride. I didn't trust him nor could I ever forgive him for what he had done to us. To cybertron. But I had faith he was serious about this change. And I would support it anyway I could.

And another cybertronian who loved a human? That was an ally I couldn't push away. If I couldn't have my person - he should. She was good for him. And I could tell she loved him too.

“Thank you… Bumblebee. I'll tell her when I get a chance.” He finally spoke, “I appreciate the faith you've placed in me. I know our history - isn't …”

I whirred to let him know it was okay.

“I swear I'll atone. I will do better be better. For cybertron… for her.” He said.

“You go tiger.” I clapped my servos and saluted him as we headed back.

I notes Rosie was back up and looked distressed as she sleepily reached for Megatron. He chuckled and picked her up and both got nestled in for the night.

I could see our future in them. And it was bright. Cybertron would rise again and the Earth would be protected for eons to come.

#transformers #megatron #mccadams #megatron x human #megatron x rosie #rosie writes #bumblebee #charbee #bayverse megatron

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mamasplat · 5 months

Text

let it be known when anyone posts about zinnia and courtney in shared context i’m out there.

i’m out there and i’m kicking my feet, i’m giggling, i’m hiding my face in my hands, i’m a bomb about to explode like a firework in the night sky-

[fine print:]

[this is based on my own unhinged opinion and day dreaming activities, i have color coded specific words to assist in visualization. zinnia is red, courtney is purple. these are of course open to interpretation and i am of course open to further discussion.]

therefore, brainrot playlist below ↓↓↓

———•———

•What Is This Feeling?:

seems self explanatory for the grunt zinnia era, but can also work in pasio forced proximity.

“What is this feeling, So sudden and new?. I felt the moment, I laid eyes on you. My pulse is rushing. My head is reeling. My face is flushing. What is this feeling? Fervid as a flame, Does it have a name? Yes! Loathing, Unadulterated loathing”

• Mary:

frankly not my usual taste, but the potential in the lyrics is ripe. specifically the amount of ways you can utilize it, you could make it fit most plots if you try hard enough and i throughly enjoy tragic lesbians.

“Mary is the girl that I wanna kiss. She's got big red eyes and big red lips, She's got big sharp teeth and big fat hips. Mary is the girl that I wanna fuck. She's got leather heart and leather gloves, She's the only girl that I wanna love.”

and it only gets even more angsty if that’s what your wanting, for instance- the delta episode

“Mary is the girl that leaves you to rot. She says, "I am real and you are not" She says, "I am real and you are not"”

• Again:

heavy delta episode break down. and flyleaf in general gives me big courtney vibes (the whole reason they got into my top artists so fast)

“I love the way that your heart breaks, With every injustice and deadly fate.”

“I love that you're never satisfied, With face value wisdom and happy lies.”

“You take what they say and go back and cry. You're so close to me that you nearly died.”

• This Is (Not):

also delta episode. if Again is courtney’s pov, This Is (Not) is zinnia’s.

“We're specks of dust, Hurling nowhere through unending void. We're blinks of time, Clinging haphazardly to life.”

“And we'll do it again 'til it's done. But we know it's never enough. You can only get what you give. As the sky crashes down, Hold me firm 'til it's my turn again.”

• Ecstasy (Apple of My Eye):

with so much inherent angst with unworldlyshipping (not complaining i enjoy sobbing over them.) it’s only fair i switch the pace. we all know courtney can be a bit…intense. some would say obsessive. but i hear ecstasy and my first thought is courtney being all mushy over that wild lorekeeper.

“In my darkest dreams I see, You're much close now to me. I have got you in my hair, I can feel you round me everywhere”

“In a kiss lies so much more than touch. And my life has found a new temptation, And ecstasy has meaning once again. I find suddenly I'm closer to you. And I find all my wildest dreams, Have come true, While I spin round. My heart is beating for two. And I am wishing, It will always be you and I.”

• Set Fire to the Rain:

hear me out when i say 2010s adele fits unworldly shipping- because i’m right. zinnia’s team magma betrayal in a courtney pov.

“I let it fall, my heart. And as it fell, you rose to claim it”

“My hands, they're strong, But my knees were far too weak. To stand in your arms, Without falling to your feet.”

“But there's a side to you, That I never knew, never knew. All the things you'd say, They were never true, never true. And the games you play, You would always win, always win”

———

!honorable mentions!:

———

that’s all i got (for now…) you may now forget this post byeee

———•———

#the autism still going strong #unworldlyshipping #magma admin courtney #lorekeeper zinnia #playlist #i put way too much effort into this #self indulgence at its finest #Spotify

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swtorpadawan · 1 year

Text

A Jedi Consular’s Path – Chapter One: How We Came to This Point

Author’s Notes: The following story is part of my Halcyon Legacy and features a character I rarely get to write about Ulannium Kaarz. It takes place during the five-year gap from Knights of the Fallen Empire in the aftermath of the fall of Tython. Expect a handful of game-canon divergences as well as cameos from minor NPCs from the game.

Jedi Master Ulannium Kaarz let out a heavy sigh as he rested his palms against the now-extinguished holo-terminal.

It has been a long day.

The Barsen’thor of the Jedi Order reflected on the present situation. If he were being candid with himself, it had been a string of long days dating back almost a year.

A moment earlier, he had been speaking over the holo with Nalen Raloch. Once an enemy long ago, the Twi’lek had turned into an ally and even a friend. The two Jedi had exchanged words of admiration and respect as Nalen had prepared to make his final stand against the Zakuulan ground forces on Tython. He had been part of the final rear guard, covering the evacuation.

If that final report had been accurate, Nalen was one of two Jedi still alive on Tython. And he was on the brink of being overrun by an enemy that had taken no prisoners.

Ulannium recalled how he had first met Nalen all those years ago. As the champion defender of Kalikori Village, the Twi’lek had been corrupted by the holocron of Rajivari, leading him to plot the destruction of the Jedi Order. Ulannium, still a Padawan at the time, had defeated Nalen in single combat, starting the Twi’lek on the path of recovery. But it had been the man himself who had found the strength within himself to become someone better.

It was strange to think that Nalen, who had joined the order relatively late in life as a grown adult under such inauspicious circumstances and after such a brush with the dark side, might have just ended his life as a better Jedi than Ulannium - one of the most celebrated Jedi of his generation - had lived his.

As he continued to grip the display for support, Ulannium felt Future's Vision, his Mark II Defender special transport frigate, launch into hyperspace, leaving the Tython system behind.

For the second time in two generations, the Jedi were headed into exile.

Right on schedule. The Mirialan Jedi Master thought to himself as his wrist communicator beeped. He automatically toggled the control switch to receive.

“All the other ships have reported in, Master Jedi.” Felix Iresso reported from the pilot’s seat of the Future’s Vision’s bridge. “Green board for everyone. I know we paid a heck of a price to get off Tython, but the evac fleet managed to make it out clean.”

Ulannium forced himself to smile approvingly despite the dire situation.

“Excellent work, Felix.” Despite him amicable words, his voice sounded strained even to his own ears. “I’ll let you know when we have coordinates for the next jump.”

“Got it.” the former Republic officer acknowledged. “Hey, get some rest, okay, boss? You sound like you need it. Felix out.”

With that, the communicator deactivated, leaving the Mirialan Jedi Master alone with his thoughts.

It’s done.

They had successfully evacuated the remnants of the Jedi Order from Tython… but as Felix had said, the cost had been astronomical. Nalen Raloch, Bengel Morr and so many others had sacrificed themselves to make good their escape.

Ulannium could only hope that their sacrifices had not been in vain.

So many choices. Ulannium thought to himself. So many sacrifices for so such meager gains. So many have fallen just to take us to this sorry state as refugees, and to leave our responsibilities to the rest of the galaxy behind.

Master Gnost-Dural, the Lore Keeper of the Jedi Archives, had revealed their final destination to no one, not even to Ulannium, the Barsen’thor of the Order and Dural’s sole remaining active colleague from the council. But he had promised them all that he had found a place for the surviving Jedi to withdraw. To regroup. To heal. To study. And to train.

A place where they could learn how to be Jedi again.

It was a tempting offer given the horrors they had just escaped and the multitude of misfortunes that had befallen the Jedi in the past year. Ulannium had no reason to question the aged Kel Dor’s sincerity that he could provide such a sanctuary.

He only wished that he could complete that journey with him. Inducted into the Order at the age of six, Ulannium had spent almost his entire life working towards this point. His accomplishments by the age of thirty-two had been remarkable in the eyes of everyone. Friends, allies, even enemies.

Now, in the aftermath of this disaster, he was about to throw it all away.

Letting out an exhale, Ulannium turned away from the holo-terminal and walked down the corridor to the passenger compartment, his slight build easily cutting around the excess of people and supply crates packed into the corridors. He knew full well that Future’s Vision – the last ship to lift off Tython – was practically overflowing with survivors from the evacuation.

The galaxy behind them had already begun to feel the Jedi’s absence. Word had reached them just before the evacuation that Coruscant was being blockaded by yet another flotilla of Eternal Fleet ships. He knew such circumstances would devastate a planet like the Republic capital world where untold billions of people lived. Even with its extensive network of underground microorganism farms, his home planet relied heavily on the surplus of at least twenty agricultural worlds to fulfill their daily food needs. Even with rationing, people would be starving within days.

Ulannium’s appeals to Chancellor Saresh to seek an armistice with the Sith Empire so they could focus on the mutual threat of Zakuul had all been rejected out of hand. As had everyone else’s.

Another failure. He privately lamented. The people of the Republic, and the galaxy, were paying for the failures of the council. And of Ulannium.

He wondered what his parents – killed during the last Sack of Coruscant nearly twenty years before – would think of him now.

Would they have been proud? Would they have been ashamed? Would they regret sending their Force-sensitive son to the Jedi in the first place? Or would they have logically reasoned that he would have almost certainly died along with them and his sister on Coruscant during the bombardment if he had stayed?

Ulannium wished he knew.

As he passed among the dozens of Jedi packed into the cargo bay, his eyes caught sight of Denielle offering comfort to a Republic soldier who’d been wounded in the arm during the evacuation. The medical bay was too small to support this many wounded, so the Jedi – and a handful of others who had joined them – were making due where they could. To that end, the young Zeltron had been knighted only two days ago, just before the attack on Tython had begun. Her ‘Jedi trials’ had been Zakuulan invasion these last few months. Despite her youth, she had done the order proud. Still, she had been forced to grow up far too quickly.

All of us were. Ulannium thought silently to himself, reflecting on his own life. He’d been born into a galaxy at war that had culminated with the death of his family, and he couldn’t deny those events had shaped him.

Putting those thoughts aside, the young Jedi Master pressed on, finally reaching the medical bay. He, too, should have been assisting in the healing efforts, despite his fatigue. Most likely, with so many losses in the last few years, he was one of the most skilled Jedi in Force healing remaining. Those with his gift were in high demand.

But right at this moment, he had an unpleasant task to accomplish first.

Now standing in the doorway to the med bay, Ulannium gazed into the cramped chamber, where the most grievously injured were being treated.

It was then that he saw her.

Nadia was hard at work assisting Archiban “Doc” Kimble in treating yet another one of the wounded evacuee. Her personal healing technique was unrefined, but her dedication and her compassion were serving her well in this role as a de facto nurse.

Nadia Grell. Jedi Knight.

Even now, three years later, the very notion filled him with pride.

Looking downward, Ulannium recognized the injured Jedi they were treating as Laranna Fain. The veteran Jedi Guardian and the daughter of Master Duras Fain had long since recovered from her experiences aboard the Carida years ago when she’d slain many innocents while under the sway of Lord Vivicar and his ‘Dark Plague’. Ulannium, with the aid of Tharan Cedrax, had ultimately shielded her from the dark lord’s influence, setting her on a path of recovery.

Another memory. He thought to himself. Another of my great ‘victories’.

Those so-called victories all tasted so hollow now. Laranna Fain might survive this day, but so many others had fallen.

People like Nalen Raloch.

Despite the intense circumstances, Ulannium found himself admiring Nadia as she worked. Even working past the point of exhausting and concentrating on her work so intently with a furrowed brow, she was as beautiful as ever.

Nadia had come so far since he had met her all those years ago. Given her age and the tragic death of her father, most would have expected it would have taken her a decade or longer to have earned her place as a Jedi Knight. She’d easily beaten that estimate, achieving her Knighthood just over a year after becoming his Padawan. During the last few days, she had served magnificently in aiding the evacuation, leading a series of pre-emptive strikes against Zakuulan positions before assisting Gnost-Dural and Ulannium in extracting the Jedi Archives from the Temple. Her combat outfit, inspired by that worn by Satele Shan, was lightly damaged with frayed edges and burn marks, but Ulannium was satisfied that Nadia herself was uninjured.

Satele…

Grand Master Satele Shan, leader of the Jedi Order for more than a decade and their champion in the first great war against the Sith, had fallen out of contact with them five days ago during their evacuation preparations, claiming to have a formulated a plan to stall the Eternal Fleet’s attack. Her final communique had been to effectively recognize Ulannium and Gnost-Dural as the Order’s leaders, and to advise them to continue their plans. Ulannium could only assume her delaying tactic had succeeded; the assault had come two days later than he’d expected based on his calculations. Regardless of whether Satele had sacrificed herself or not, her efforts had likely saved countless lives.

He wondered if the real reason she’d left had been because the order was abandoning Tython, the world she herself had once led the rediscovery and resettlement of after the signing of the Treaty of Coruscant years prior. Publicly, Satele, Ulannium and the council had presented a united front. To the order and to the Republic.

Privately, they’d had their differences. Ulannium had pressured into implementing several reforms that had no doubt rankled the more ‘traditionally minded’ among the Jedi. Despite their challenging relationship, Ulannium now regretted that he’d left things with Satele the way he had. He had never expected to feel her absence so acutely. He certainly had never wanted her title or her job.

The burden of leadership wore heavily upon him, considering Satele was not the only member of the Council to have ‘departed’ recently.

Bela Kiwiiks and her apprentice, the Sith Pureblood known as Praven, had been transporting a small group of Jedi younglings to Tython from an auxiliary enclave to join their coming exodus. Since her retirement from active field duty, the Togruta Jedi Master had been most active in nurturing and protecting the Order’s youngest recruits. When their ship had been cut off from Tython as a result of the fighting, Kiwiiks had sent an encoded transmission to inform them that she and her immediate charges were safe, but she’d decided that they would not be joining the Order on their retreat into exile. Kiwiiks gave assurances that she had a plan for the younglings’ survival and education. True to form, she had finished her message with the ubiquitous ‘May the Force be With You’.

Ulannium had been concerned with her plan and had proposed a search and retrieval mission. Gnost-Dural, however, had declared himself satisfied.

“She must find her own path, both for herself and her young charges.” The Jedi Archivist reminded him at the time. “Besides, there are many more younglings here on Tython who we are responsible for.”

The implications of Dural’s words were not lost on Ulannium. Wherever they were headed, Dural was clearly not expecting this to be a brief exile. The Jedi needed to preserve their future. For an order of beings who strongly discouraged traditional sexual reproduction among their numbers, that meant they needed to bring the children with them so the Jedi would have someone to teach. Just as Ulannium had been taught so many years ago as a child on Uphrades.

Other Jedi Council members had gone missing or had given their lives in the faltering defense of the Republic, with the most heroic sacrifice coming less than an hour before by Master Oteg. The Jedi admiral and the last of his fleet had given their lives against the Zakuulans to cover the Jedi’s escape into hyperspace.

Though Syo Bakarn hadn’t been on the council in years, Ulannium had also felt the absence of his old mentor. He’d not been able to visit with him in person; despite his title of Barsen’thor and his place on the Council, Ulannium had accepted that he need not know where he withdrawn to after their confrontation on Corellia years before, when the First Son had been defeated. The Jedi Master had deserved his peace. Instead, they had exchanged encrypted messages from time to time, but even these had become infrequent once the Zakuulans had invaded. The risk of interception had been too great; the time too short.

He now wished he had written one more letter to Master Syo. He wished he had sought his wisdom once again, if only for the last time.

Ulannium and Gnost-Dural were – effectively – all that remained of the once-vaunted Jedi Council, supposedly the wisest Jedi in all the galaxy. And they had been reduced to leading a group of beleaguered refugees into hiding while the rest of the galaxy suffered.

As a Jedi Master, Ulannium fully understood the futility of dwelling on the past as he was. Nevertheless, he couldn’t help but think about what might have been. He had lost so many friends over the years, either through diverging pathways or – more often – those allies becoming one with the Force.

He remembered Hallow Voice, the leader of the free Esh-kha, who had proclaimed him Sky-hunter. He had led his people into exile after the defeat on Ord Mantell; Ulannium could not fault them for their choice. The Esh-kha had fought and bled for the Republic. He hoped his old friend still lived, and that he was leading his people in peace.

He remembered Gaden-Ko, the Voss Mystic, who had joined with the Rift Alliance to learn more about the galaxy, and perhaps about himself. Despite holding a position of leadership amongst his people, the young Force-sensitive had viewed so many things with an innocence of youth that Ulannium had found refreshing. He had been a delight to teach. But when Voss itself came under the threat of the Eternal Empire, Gaden-Ko had regretfully withdrawn his commandoes from the Alliance, taking them back to Voss. Zakuul’s effective interdict on that world would have prevented any further communications, and Ulannium could only hope his former protégé and ally was well.

But even more deeply than those two, Ulannium missed his old crew.

Holiday had departed not long before the war with Zakuul had begun. With her enhanced capabilities, she’d wanted to fully explore herself and she couldn’t do that from their ship. Ulannium had been sorry to see her go, but he recognized that new experiences were critical to personal growth, and he’d been impressed when Tharan had given her his blessing as well.

After months of opposing the invasion alongside the crew, Tharan Cedrax had finally left, claiming to have been offered an opportunity to research technologies that would turn the tide against the Eternal Fleet. In truth, Tharan had seemed to go adrift without Holiday in his life, becoming more withdrawn. Privately, Ulannium suspected the scientist had been drinking to excess. He knew there were things his old friend wasn’t telling him but accepted that – like Holiday – Tharan had to make his own path. Ulannium could only hope that path had led Tharan to himself.

Like Gaden-Ko, Zenith had departed when his home planet was threatened, returning to Balmorra. The industrial world, like so many others, was under siege to the Eternal Empire, and the former guerilla fighter seemed eager to resume his old trade in light of “Republic ineffectiveness”. Ulannium had always known the Twi’lek revolutionary would put his home ahead of the rest of the galaxy and so he was not surprised. Although they’d been very different people, the Jedi wondered if perhaps it had been Ulannium who hadn’t learned enough from that association.

Qyzen Fess had been one of his closest friends and allies since before Ulannium had even been named a Jedi Knight back on Tython all those years ago. In addition to Qyzen’s exceptional abilities as a tracker and fighter, Ulannium had learned much about weighing the value of traditions against the need for every people to change and adapt from the old Trandoshan hunter. He wished they’d remained together for longer, but once it became clear the Jedi order’s priority was to preserve its existence, Qyzen had regretfully made his exit.

“Many points to be earned for the Scorekeeper fighting Zakuulans, Herald.” He had declared. “Even in dark times, we must still be hunters.”

Part of Ulannium found himself agreeing with Qyzen. But even the Barsen’thor of the Jedi Order had been unable to find a way to turn the tide against Zakuul’s onslaught.

These departures had reduced his old crew down to two.

Lieutenant Felix Iresso had gone years without promotion despite a multitude of accomplishments, commendations and medals. Apparently, Republic command had a long memory concerning Felix’s memory loss, even in times when experienced field officers were in short supply. The soldier had proven his loyalty many times over, finally refusing orders to transfer him to the frontlines so he could remain by Ulannium’s side. He had effectively gone AWOL from the Republic military, and had matters been less chaotic, he’d have risked arrest in the Republic. He’d sacrificed everything for Ulannium and the Jedi because he believed they needed him the most.

And he’d been right.

Inevitably, Ulannium’s thoughts circled back to Nadia, even as he watched her treat more patients.

Even early in their association, he had recognized his feelings for her. Her innocence, her intelligence, her beauty and her determination to do the right thing all spoke to him in a way he couldn’t put into words. Naturally, as a Jedi - and as Nadia’s master - he had doggedly resisted those thoughts. He’d spent hours meditating on his dilemma, attempting to analyze the situation logically. Senator Tobas Grell had entrusted his daughter’s safety and training to him, and to him alone. Were it otherwise, he would have had her placed with a new Jedi Master, one who would not experience such complications.

So Ulannium had held fast and true.

… Until the moment that Nadia herself - minutes after being Knighted - had pressed her lips to his. From that moment forward the dam had burst and his famous stoic Jedi resolve was lost.

It had taken the two of them a long time to find their feet again. Once they had, he could not imagine his existence without Nadia in it.

There had been no formal ceremony to mark their wedding a year later; simply an exchange of vows in the custom of Nadia’s people. Ulannium had not added to his Mirialan tattoos since he’d been a child; but for the first time since he could remember, he’d wanted to mark his body to declare himself hers. To celebrate their love and joining. He had not, of course. Doing so would have resulted in expulsion from the order for the both of them. But the thought had never completely escaped him.

He didn’t know how he would have made it through the last few months - or the last few days - without Nadia’s strength and support behind him.

Reassuring as Nadia had been to him, however, Ulannium found his thoughts drifting to his old friend, Corellan Halcyon.

Believed killed at the start of the war with Zakuul, the Order, the Republic and – perhaps! – the galaxy itself had sorely missed the Hero of Tython’s presence.

Ulannium knew that he certainly had.

The Barsen’thor of the Jedi Order had long heard the whispers around the temple on Tython concerning his own path. They whispered that he was the best Jedi of his generation. They whispered that his knowledge of the Force was unprecedented for one so young. They whispered that his leadership and diplomatic talents were without equal. They whispered that if Ulannium had not already been serving as Barsen’thor, it would have been he and not Gnost-Dural who would have been tasked with preserving the Jedi Archives.

Some had even (quietly) whispered that one day, he, Ulannium Kaarz, would succeed Master Satele as the Grand Master of the Jedi Order.

But for all of those accolades, he was not Corellan Halcyon.

Ulannium Kaarz may have been the ‘model Jedi’ of his generation. It had been centuries since a younger Jedi than himself had been named to the Council.

But Corellan had been their champion. Their hero. The great warrior who had always found a way to pull victory from the jaws of defeat so that the order and the Republic could survive one more day. He had been the one who would never give up, no matter the odds.

Ulannium hadn’t felt Corellan’s death during the attack on Darth Marr’s expedition fleet less than a year ago. Given their shared history and their connection through the Force, that detail had surprised him and had even given him cause to hope. But as each defeat against the Eternal Empire had driven the Jedi and Republic back, that hope had slowly evaporated. Knowing Corellan as he did, there was no chance whatsoever he would simply sit the war out in quiet retirement while the galaxy burned. He certainly could not sense him anywhere in the galaxy through the Force.

No. His friend – his oldest friend – was almost certainly dead.

He remembered that time they’d shared drinks at the cantina on Carrick station. It had been a few months after their joint operation against Darth Malgus at Ilum and they’d found a few minutes to reminisce on their shared childhoods on Uphrades, and on the strange turns their lives had taken since then. Corellan had – with an eloquence that Ulannium would have once thought beyond him back when he’d been an awkward youth – explained how much Ulannium had inspired him back when they’d been younglings.

“It meant the galaxy to me, Ulannium.” The Hero of Tython had concluded. “The meditations, the studying, all of it. It helped me apply myself to something other than lightsaber training.”

The human had smiled across the table at the Mirialan.

“I’m a better Jedi today because of you.”

Ulannium had blinked at this revelation, then sipped his own drink. Taking a moment before setting the glass down, he looked back at Corellan, his bright green eyes looking into Corellan’s pale blues. If he’d ever questioned whether their friendship had survived into adulthood, those had been answered this day.

“I’m a better person today because of you.” He answered.

It had been in Corellan’s memory that Ulannium had persuaded the Jedi to take in Doctor Kimble when he’d contacted them. The field medic had been a member of Corellan’s crew before the Hero of Tython’s death, and Ulannium felt there was little question that such medical expertise would be sorely needed. “Doc”, as he was called, had indeed proven himself an asset to the Jedi and Nadia had only had to have a word with him once about flirting with female members of the order. Since then, he’d been impeccably professional. Ulannium - who hadn’t heard about the situation until after the fact - had decided to take the situation as a measure of Nadia’s growing talent for conflict resolution.

Looking back now, Ulannium fervently wished he had been a better friend to Corellan. The interests of the Order had required that he’d made several… questionable decisions over the years, some of them indirectly impacting the young Jedi Battlemaster. Ulannium would like to have told himself he had done so due to necessity; that the war effort against the Sith Empire – combined with the mistakes of others – had prevented him from acting as a friend ought to have. But… no. That was the trap the generation of Jedi before him had fallen into. Satele Shan, Bela Kiwiiks, Jaric Kaedan and Syo Bakarn… each had achieved remarkable, even legendary feats as Jedi. Each had ultimately fallen short of upholding the ideals of the Jedi because of various forms of self-delusion. They had managed to convince themselves that whatever actions happened to benefit themselves and their fellows also benefitted the order and the Republic.

Ulannium refused to repeat their mistakes. He would face the consequences of his actions with open eyes.

In the unlikely event that he did see Corellan again – whether in this life or in the next as part of the Force – Ulannium promised himself that he would tell his old friend everything.

Even if the price of those confessions was their friendship.

As he continued to stand at the entrance of the med bay, Ulannium reflected on everything he’d accomplished to get to this point, and everyone he’d lost.

He didn’t know if it had been worth it. He wondered if he ever would.

Ulannium gave one last glance at Nadia where she was still helping Doc treat the wounded. As if sensing his presence, the young Sarkhai glanced up and caught his look. She gave him a reassuring smile and nodded to him in understanding.

Nadia knew what he was about. They’d spent hours talking about it.

He knew he was about to destroy her future as well. All the work she had put in to becoming a Jedi Knight would be gone. Perhaps the royal family of Sarkhai would keep her on as a diplomat.

Yes, she had achieved the rank of Knight. But they had developed feelings for each other that could not be denied.

Ulannium had ultimately failed as her master.

Now, he was about to fail her as a husband.

Why she’d put up with him and all of his faults, he had no idea. But he knew he had to do this, and she had understood. They would have been unable to carry on as they had once their journey finished, not surrounded by so many other Jedi.

The timing of this was regrettable, but there’d been no question that the Jedi had needed them to successfully evacuate Tython. And if what Master Gnost-Dural had told them about their destination was any indication, they would be unable to move once they reached sanctuary: The security and secrecy of their safe-haven was too important.

It had to be now.

Ulannium gave Nadia a weak smile back, then turned and departed, making his way to the conference room.

“A Jedi serves truth.” Nowan Ko had instructed Ulannium and Corellan years ago, back on Uphrades. The Cathar Jedi Master had used a raft tied to the shore of the coastline of the line to help illustrate her point. “Be as diplomatic as you must. Show as much compassion and kindness as you can. Use deception consciously and strategically if there is no other choice. But remember that the truth is much like the rope, securing this raft.”

With that, she’d drawn her lightsaber and cut through the rope, letting the raft loose on the water. The small wooden craft had quickly been pulled out to sea.

“Once you cut away the truth, once you embrace the open waters of deception, you risk going adrift. Therefore, a Jedi should strive to always be honest.”

Ulannium had been living a lie for the last three years, if not longer.

Master Gnost-Dural certainly deserved to know the truth. No doubt wherever they were headed, he would have learned it sooner or later regardless.

Better to tell him now rather than guarantee discovery later. Ulannium had decided, some days ago when he’d discussed it with Nadia. Whatever his other regrets and mistakes, he could at least meet the end of his time as a Jedi with honesty.

Entering the hectic conference room, Ulannium saw his fellow councilor surrounded by younger Jedi giving reports on the evacuation.

At Dural’s side, standing stoically amidst the bustle, was Lerek Serrus. The former Sith Apprentice who Ulannium had first met during the liberation of Balmorra so many years before. After their confrontation and the death of Darth Lachris years before, the young man had willingly volunteered to join the order. Unlike Zenith, he’d elected to stay with the Jedi, even as the threat of Zakuul threatened his home world. Most recently, he appeared to have appointed himself as Gnost-Dural’s bodyguard. Based on what Ulannium had seen during the evacuation, the former Sith appeared to be doing an admirable job. Master Gnost-Dural was by no means weak, but nor was he the warrior he’d once been. It was a credit to Lerek’s protection that he appeared to have emerged from the fighting unscathed.

As Ulannium observed the others, he reflected that there would be dozens if not hundreds of reports to sort through. From personnel assignments to remaining supplies to medical reports on the wounded. From his time leading the Rift Alliance to serving on the council, Ulannium was no stranger to the realities of administration or bureaucracy, but this task would prove to be herculean. As he’d been overseeing the fleet’s evacuation, the burden of overseeing the order’s immediate future had fallen on the older master.

Ulannium wished he wasn’t about to add to that burden.

“Master.” Ulannium approached and bowed to Gnost-Dural. “May I please speak with you privately?”

The Jedi Master looked up from his datapad and, after a moment, inclined his head at the request. Around them, it was as if the commotion of activity had suddenly been paused.

“Please excuse us, everyone.” Dural addressed the room. “See to the wounded, and then review the condition of our ships. We have far to go before we reach our destination, and we must ensure that we are not tracked.”

Reluctantly, the assembled Jedi collected their reports and departed. They all looked as tired as Ulannium felt, but they knew their duty. Lerek gave him a nod of respect as he departed, the last one out the door.

Finally alone, Gnost-Dural gestured for his counterpart to take a seat at the table. Ulannium had hosted summits and planned military operation from that very table, but today, he considered it Gnost-Dural’s by right.

“I’ve seen the initial reports.” The older Jedi Master offered, as he poured them each a mug of water from the small cistern on the table. “All things considered, the fact that we are alive at all is a testament not only to the sacrifices of those we lost, but to your leadership and planning as well. We did well to have evacuated so many within such a short window.”

Ulannium watched silently as the Kel Dor fixed the straw of his mask to drink, then sipped his own water.

“It’ll take us a long time to recover from this setback.” he considered, reflecting on his own time his coming of age in the years following the Sack of Coruscant. The Mirialan found he had a difficult time remaining positive given the dire situation. “A generation if not more.”

Dural seemed unfazed.

“Great challenges lay ahead of us to be sure, but do not be disheartened for the future. I have found a place where the Order can heal. And be born again.” He tilted his head. “Indeed. I sent your old Master ahead to prepare it for us.”

Ulannium raised an eyebrow. He had not seen Yuon Parr since before the Eternal Empire’s invasion. Indeed, he’d feared she’d been killed defending some forgotten archaeological dig. He felt a sense of relief to know that she was still alive.

That led to another regret. When he and Nadia departed, he’d be denied the chance to meet with his old master again, and any future communication would almost certainly be out of the question.

“I appreciate that more than I can tell you, Master.” Ulannium answered weakly. “But this is not why I asked to speak with you.”

The Jedi archivist paused for a long moment, setting down his mug and inclining his head again.

“Of course. I assume you wished to inform me about your covert relationship with your former Padawan?”

Ulannium blinked, then felt his jaw drop open as he processed the Jedi Master’s words.

“You…” he stopped himself, hastily taking a sip of water from his glass and swallowing. “You knew?”

Like all members of his species living away from their home world of Dorin, Master Gnost-Dural wore an antiox breath-mask with protective goggles just to survive the atmosphere of other worlds and artificial environments such as ships. This meant discerning anything from his facial expressions was nearly impossible, even to one attuned to the Force. But in this exact moment, Ulannium had the distinct impression of wry amusement coming from the wizened Kel Dor.

“I am old, Master Ulannium.” he answered. “I am neither dead nor blind.”

It took all the stoicism Ulannium had developed over his thirty-two years of life to compose himself.

“You didn’t say anything.” he pressed. “We’ve been preparing for this day for weeks, and you never exposed us.”

Dural made a dismissive wave of his hand.

“There were other priorities.” he offered by way of explanation. “I imagine others may suspect, but if so no one has said anything to me.”

The Mirialan chewed that over. Ulannium always imagined they’d been discreet, but now uncertainty threatened to overtake him. He resolved to stay the course.

“Then you understand why I have to leave.” he finally forced out the words of regret.

Gnost-Dural took up his mug again, taking a slow draw through his straw.

“You believe that you and Knight Grell must depart the fleet, so as not to compromise yourselves any further.”

The Jedi master’s choice of words gave Ulannium pause.

“How could I do otherwise?” he insisted. “If we allowed this connection for all Jedi, what then? The order can’t operate like that. And if we did make an exception, then I’d be a hypocrite.”

Ulannium took in a breath and then slowly let it out.

“And I… I cannot let her go, Master. I know it goes against our Code, but it is not within me to sever our bond. I fought against it for too long.”

Gnost-Dural simply sat across from him, regarding his younger colleague for a long moment.

“I am aware of your predicament, Master Ulannium. That is why I am asking that you stay.” He sipped through his straw again. “I cannot formally condone what you’ve done, true, but I refuse to condemn it.”

Ulannium blinked again.

“But why? I am a failure.”

The Jedi archivist set his mug down.

“You are nothing of the sort. I have seen enough of your conduct to satisfy myself, and the Order needs you, Master Ulannium.” Gnost-Dural emphasized his title. “It needs your leadership. And someday, when the time comes, the rest of the galaxy will need you again, as well. I’m getting too old for this sort of thing. I have no intention of continuing this venture without you at my side.”

He picked up a datapad, regarding it. From what Ulannium could see, it was a report on the fighting before the final withdrawal.

“You made the right decisions during the evacuation of Tython, difficult though they must have been.” He continued. “I have seen you send Knight Grell – and other personal associates of yours as well – into danger, all while knowing some of them would not return. You have accomplished what few Jedi are capable of; yes, you have attachments, but you mind those attachments, so they do not control you.”

Dural set the pad back down.

“I have no doubt in your ability to continue to lead wisely – and objectively – moving forward.”

The Kel Dor folded his clawed fingers together in contemplation.

“Though as you’ve indicated, not every Jedi is capable of your mindfulness. I fear many if not most would inevitably falter if put to the test. So in the future, I would ask that you and Knight Grell maintain a certain level of decorum while in public so as not to set a difficult precedent with the others.” Dural continued to refer to Nadia by her formal title, a fact that wasn’t lost on Ulannium. “And as you say, if we allowed everyone this indulgence, our cohesion would crumble.”

The Mirialan Jedi Master felt a blush come to his cheeks; suddenly feeling like an adolescent. Given that during his own time as a ‘model youngling’ he’d never been scolded for anything more nefarious than reading after bedtime, it was a new experience to him.

“I… understand.” He finally answered. “Thank you, Master.”

Ulannium was startled at how relieved he felt. For all the losses he had suffered of late and the challenges that lay ahead of him, a great weight had been lifted off his shoulders.

“How can I ever thank you for your kindness and understanding?”

Gnost-Dural reached across the table and lightly patted Ulannium’s arm reassuringly.

“When the time comes, return it to someone else who needs it.”

Taking a moment, he refilled both of their glasses.

“Now tell me, Master Ulannium.” The Jedi Archivist queried. “How did we come to this point?”

END

Author’s Notes: This story – the first chapter in a new series – essentially picks up where one of my previous works – This Moment , ends.

Like Corellan, Ulannium is primarily a light-side character. Unlike Corellan, however, making the “Paragon” choices in the game doesn’t always come naturally to him. To borrow a Dungeons & Dragons term, Ulannium primarily falls into the ‘Lawful Neutral’ alignment. Simply put, he’s working out of a rulebook. When he makes the light-side choice, he does so because the Jedi Code guides him to it. His relationship with Nadia obviously conflicted him for a long time, something I hope to expand on in future installments of this series.

In case it wasn’t clear, this story is canon-divergent where it comes to the pacing of the Jedi Consular-Nadia Grell romance. As written in the game, I find it problematic on many levels. This series based around Ulannium will hopefully address much of that. (Look at that. Here I am writing fix-it fic.) To that end, I’m tagging @walk-ng-saster, who expressed similar sentiments. More of that another time, but on a related note, Nadia should have been recognized as a Jedi Knight sometime before KOTFE, and that is a hill I will die upon.

Regardless of the Legacy in question, I’m intrigued at the idea of the Outlander’s absence during the five-year gap having a dramatic effect on everyone else, including the other class original characters in the player’s legacy. I’ve already written a bit about how Bas’riish, my smuggler, dealt with Corellan being absent. (Click here to read Three Years .)

Now it’s Ulannium’s turn.

I disliked Felix’s Alliance Alert return after Knights of the Eternal Throne. Torturing and traumatizing a character just to make them more interesting is a privilege I reserve for my own characters, thank you very much. So I’m fixing that in my work.

If it wasn’t obvious, Ulannium, Nadia and Gnost-Dural are all headed to Ossus. That’s one of the reasons why you all get a Doc cameo. (Doc is still Doc, but I’m confident Nadia can keep him in line.)

The Jedi Knight and the Jedi Consular are leading vastly different lives during the class stories; in the case of the Hero of Tython, their ship is crewed by a small, intimate group of mismatched personalities. With the Barsen’thor, you do get the mismatched personalities but there are so many supporting characters, it feels like a General Assembly of the United Nations in there. On that note, many jokes have been made about the sheer number of people who ocmugy the Barsen’thor’s ship, and that it seems far too small to be sustainable. I’ve even heard some Doctor Who Tardis references. I head-canon that although the ship follows the same aesthetics as the standard Defender freighter from the Jedi Knight story, it’s actually a much larger vessel with considerable transport capacity, similar to the vessel we see under Jaesa Willsaam’s control during chapter one of the Sith Warrior story, where you wind up fighting (or trolling) a pair of Jedi Knights sent by Nomen Karr.

I’ve spoken about what happens to Bela Kiwiiks and Praven in my story before.

Many interesting supporting characters appear during the Jedi Consular story who just seem to quickly fade into the background without any satisfying resolution. This frustrates me, and I think is one of the reasons I consider the canon story a waste of potential. To address this, some of those characters appear here.

I’ve spoken about Nalen Raloch before.We never hear from him again aside from a letter you get after leaving Tython.

Laranna Fain makes an appearing here after her introduction in the first chapter of the Jedi Consular story. You cure (or kill) her father on Nar Shaddaa before thwarting (by curing or killing) Laranna on that Republic transport ship in-between planets. We never get a follow-up concerning Laranna and her recovery, which is unfortunate.

Another example of this is Lerek Serrus, who appears on Balmorra in chapter two of the Jedi Consular story; he’s a Sith Apprentice protégé of Darth Lachris you encounter. He’s memorable first for being a native Balmorran, and second for the fact that if you take the light-side dialogue options, you can talk him into walking away from the fight and re-examining his life choices. Like Laranna, we never hear what happens to Lerek if he lives in the game-story. I try to give him a resolution here.

Yuon Par gets a mention in this piece. She is completely discarded after chapter one of the game story, and by the end, some players assume that Syo Bakarn was the character’s Jedi Master the whole time. That’s a shame because she’s such a fun and quirky character. That’s no disrespect to Syo, who is obviously mentioned in this chapter and who I intend to follow up on.

Master Oteg isn’t Consular specific, but he’s certainly memorable from the The Maelstrom Prison flashpoint. I was sad to give him an ending, but I had this planned for a long time.

I may reintroduce more supporting characters in further chapters.

Nadia is wearing a variant of Satele Shan’s armor set from the game. More on that here.

I’ve mentioned the Uphrades enclave before. The planet appears in the Jedi Knight class story, but the Jedi presence on it was my own creation. Hopefully, I’ll actually get to show some it to you in the future.

The game story canonizes that the Jedi Consular is a Force-healer, even if they are a Jedi Shadow.

Gnost-Dural’s “I’m getting too old for this sort of thing.” line is an Easter egg to Obi-Wan’s line to Luke in A New Hope. Love me some Alec Guinness.

Fun fact – George Lucas based the concept of Coruscant on the planet Trantor from Isaac Asimov’s Foundation series. That’s where I drew the references for micro-organism farms and the twenty agricultural worlds and so on. The logistics involved in supplying such a planet are staggering, a reality touched on in the game story with the Mandalorian Blockade during the first war and after Uphrades destruction at the hands of the Darth Angral and the Planet Prison superweapon in the Jedi Knight class story.

Denielle appears in two of my earlier stories: Training Day and Incomplete. No Tyzen Pyne here, unfortunately, but I will hopefully be covering what he’s been up to in the near future.

Tagging interested parties! @actualanxiousswampwitch @anchanted-one @cassthechaoticmercenary @cryo-lily @cuchulainnx19 @davidoodles @eorzeashan @exlibrisastra @grandninjamasterren @kemendin @kindredsembrace @lonewolfel @lordviridis @magicallulu7 @nekorinnie @nyrialydia @shabre-legacy @shynmighty @space-unicorn-dottaraum @vihola @wackyart @walk-ng-saster @war-of-wrath @swtorhub

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waldensblog · 1 year

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Shadow and Bone Season 2 thoughts

So I just finished watching Shadow and Bone season 2, and I have a lot of thoughts to unpack. It probably goes without saying, but there are spoilers below the read more line for the show. Overall, I really enjoyed this season, and there were things I liked, and some I didn’t.

The Darkling

My BABY. For me he stole every second of every scene he was in, because I am still harbouring a ridiculous crush on this man. I loved seeing him rescue the Grisha in cages, pointing out that this happened before, and he’s disappointed it’s happening again, but isn’t surprised. He’s tried different tactics and now he’s decided he’ll have to become King/Emperor to stop the wars, stop the mass loss of life that’s been happening for centuries, and try to establish a peace - a Pax Darkling. Unfortunately, I don’t think we had a single season 1 Grisha on his side, so all his troops/allies were new, relatively undeveloped characters. I don’t take issue with David switching sides - that was kind of foreshadowed in season 1 with the regret on his face when fusing the stag’s bones to Alina and the Darkling, but no Feydor (what even happened to him?)? No other named Grisha? Really? Not one? And don’t get me started on his relationship with his mother. Is he a good, pure, soul? No. But his mother very much pissed me off. She pretty well kills herself in front of him, and uses her last act to cut off his hand. He tries to stop it, but he is held back, and she effectively blames him for it. He’s cradling her and saying sorry, crying. Dear lord. He looks at Alina with so much pride throughout the season most of the time, and in the end, his last thoughts are of those moments of peace and happiness he found with her (before it all got FUCKED). His last wish is for her to burn the body so his bones can’t be used. Alina doesn’t even realize how alike she is to him, and I hope to GOD he comes back, even if I know the writers probably won’t. Ben did a fantastic job, and whatever happens in season 3, I won’t forget it. My favourite character of this show. I applaud Ben so much for his excellent performance.

The Darkling x Alina I ugly cried. I can’t believe I got becoming part 2′ed again. No seriously how many times must I be subjected to my ship ending in this very specific manner? A lovers to enemies arc ending with her stabbing him with a sword. Why has this happened to me three times? Okay now in all seriousness. I still love them. I did feel like Ben was kind of carrying this ship by himself at times, though, because I guess the writers didn’t want Alina acknowledging feelings for anyone but Mal this season - the closest we got to Alina confronting her feelings was that conversation with Baghra. I loved the Darkling being still in love with Alina, “My Alina”, “My little saint”, had one moment of peace BESTILL MY HEART. I loved this, but also, I am disappointed that Alina couldn’t shed one tear for him when he died. I blame that one on the writers. I am obsessed with Alina’s ending, when she used the Shadow cut and smiled like that. Oh, Honey. HONEY I don’t know what happened but that was a Darklina treat for me (after they first ripped my heart out, I will accept my consolation prize thanks). Alina has so much in common with Aleksander this season and doesn’t see it all and he’s so right about so much and I just... AHHH. I’m secretly hoping we get a season 3 that brings him back, perhaps they can take a cue from Buffy season 3 or do a possessed Nikolai thing. #BringBackTheDarkling #DarklingSeason3. Do it.

Nikolai, Tolya and Tamar

I loved the introduction of Nikolai and the other pirates privateers. They immediately added an interesting element to the show that I loved seeing, and I enjoyed seeing Nikolai join the Crows/Alina alliance. It was also interesting that he turns out to be the prince, who winds up king. A wild ride. Despite my immediate stanning of them, I would have liked if they were a bit further developed. Don’t get me wrong, I thought they were fleshed out okay, but when Nikolai’s friend died near the end of the show, I was like “who is this guy?” because I’m pretty sure I just met him. He may have been a long-time friend of Nikolai’s, but I didn’t see any of that friendship. I liked seeing Tolya and Tamar fit into the cast as well, with Tamar becoming a close ally of Alina’s and almost her Ivan, and Tolya becoming a sort of honorary crow. Nikolai initially refusing to learn Mal’s name was iconic. An immediate legend.

Nikolai x Alina I feel like these two had a lot of potential presented this season to be a good romantic pairing, definitely healthier than Darklina (which is still my #1 ship for this show), but it didn’t get fully developed. They spent some time together, but mostly there was wandering off and the occasional conversation/flirting. It felt pretty one-sided, which even got acknowledged near the end, where Nikolai’s friend refers to it as a “fake engagement with real feelings”. I’d have liked if they spent a bit more time developing this. Maybe season 3, if a season 3 there will be. And with that Nikolai shadow mirror ending, I have hopes - not likely to happen, but hopes that we may get a possession plotline. Yes.PLEASE.

Mal x Alina Still not feeling it, sorry not sorry. No offense to Archie at all, because this one is a writer’s problem I think. Mal is just... sorry but he’s so boring. He’s whitebread, an absolute lego block with zero personality. What was his character in season 1? A tracker obsessed with Alina. Season 2? A tracker obsessed with Alina. “You are my nation” my guy please have any sense of politics or personality. I always felt like they were better as a platonic brother-sister kind of relationship. I liked when they broke up because he didn’t “feel that pull” anymore because at least now Mal may actually develop into a character and not a plot device. Whatever the reverse of a Mary Sue is, that’s Mal in this show to me. Literally, he’s the firebird, his purpose is to be an amplifier to let Alina take down the fold. And now he’s done that. I dislike that he apparently just gets to be captain of a pirate ship now though, because the dude has never served a day in his life as a sailor. He hasn’t earned that captaincy. I also really dislike that the writers had Alina only acknowledge feelings for Mal this season, because if I’m honest, those feelings felt forced - kind of like she was mistaking the pull of the firebird amplifier for romantic feelings. I’m going to assume that’s the case for now, and hope the writers stop trying to force this on us, even if the source material does (as they have clearly gone in a new direction from the books, one can dream!)

The Crows I still love the Crows, or specifically, Jesper, Inej and Kaz. Jesper is a bi disaster, and I loved finding out he’s a Durast, and seeing that evolution in his character. I am so here for it. Super thrilled that Inej is finally free of her indenture, and I enjoyed learning some more of Kaz’s backstory and finding out why he is the way he is. I find them all pretty morally grey - to different degrees of course. Wylan was interesting, but I didn’t get attached to him or Wesper, that plot line is just fine to me. I like Nina alright, and she fits in well with the rest of them (every group needs their respective heartrender after all!), but if I’m honest... I just don’t care much for Helnik or Mathias overall. Him and Nina were pretty disconnected from everyone else in season 1, so I was kinda meh about them to start, and while Nina fit in well with the others, Mathias just hungout in jail all season. He seems nice enough (points for refusing to fight canines), but I just don’t... really care about his storyline. I did enjoy seeing the Crows have a whole revenge plotline and then jump back into the fray as Alina’s allies - evidently they care a bit about what happens in Ravka, they easily could have just said “whatever” but I guess it’s a “I’m one of the idiots who lives in this world” bits.

Overall Impressions I enjoyed the season, but to be honest, some of it felt a bit odd in terms of balance. Some parts and relationships felt either rushed or not developed enough, and other times I was like “boy it’s been a while since we’ve seen the Darkling” and I’d realize I was like 30 minutes into the episode and he hadn’t shown up yet. I think maybe because they were adapting 2 books at the same time and adding the Crows storyline, it was perhaps a bit rushed/jam-packed. I also found it really odd pacing to have the Darkling die in the first 10 minutes of the final episode, leaving like... 45 minutes to go to wrap up everything else that season. Just pacing wise, it seems odd. Also, the only ship that really won this season was Wesper, huh?

#shadow and bone #shadow and bone season 2 #the darkling #anti baghra #darklina #nikolai lantsov #tamar #tolya #nikolina #anti malina #anti mal oretsev #alina starkov #six of crows #kaz brekker #jesper fahey #inej ghafa #wylan #nina zenik

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mr-leach · 1 year

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Curse of Strahd Ask Meme Part 4

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Original Post by @mandisawesome

///Spoilers Ahead!///

If your party hasn’t gotten the Tome of Strahd item yet or had a chance to learn why Strahd is so obsessed with a certain NPC, and you’re worried about spoilers, you might want to skip this post!

Question 4: Did your DM make any major changes to the module?

Yes! Well, some major, some minor. Aside from maybe making the encounters less brutally punishing, here’s what @inertia-raptor changed or added:

From what I understand, a few DMs have decided to switch the roles of the Kolyanovich siblings, including ours. This is my first time playing the module so I can’t say for certain just how different it makes things, aside from making it a little more explicitly queer from the outset, and maybe determining which sibling you spend the most time interacting with at certain points. All I can say is I’ve grown very attached to our awkward little wizard Ismark, and I certainly hope he continues to manage to avoid his creepy vampire stalker.

So in order to sail past any of the potentially problematic implications surrounding the whole Vistani thing, our DM just decided to...not include the Vistani. Now there is a clan of Tabaxi that is more or less on neutral terms with Strahd. We’re also pretty firmly in the camp of “tabaxi/catfolk are allowed to look like domestic cats if you want” which means that these tabaxi absolutely resemble domestic cats, and sometimes our actual pets will make cameos. It’s great.

Not all of the Tabaxi clan members in our game are catfolk--some are human/humanoid--but they are very much included among the Barovian Tabaxi clan that are permitted to traverse in and out of the mists, and sometimes work closely with Strahd. Inversely, a tabaxi from outside of this particular clan might get treated more nicely than adventurers other races if they were to end up in Barovia, but they’d kinda have to prove they were loyal to Strahd first if they wanted the same privileges as the native clan.

Significant NPCS that were written into the campaign:

Our DM wrote in a few OCs that have had a significant part to play in the game so far, and go beyond just fleshing out existing enemies or NPCs:

Carden is one of those NPCs that was probably meant to be more for background flavour, but then our PCs got so damnged attached to him...We just can’t do anything in Vallaki without checking in on our good buddy Carden at least once. He’s been in Barovia 50 years now (and sadly left behind a human partner on the other side of the mists) and even though he can be a little scatterbrained, still has a good deal of knowledge about vampires, Strahd, and Vallaki that has been really helpful.

So Sylras is our designated ally and we could not be happier to have them. When Carden fucked them up and couldn’t get Tatyana’s soul to bind to them, he made sure to have them given some kind of combat training before being made to send them to Castle Ravenloft, but he unfortunately didn’t think it was possible to teach Sylras how to express or even feel emotions. It kind of actually protected them from Strahd to some extent...they were still a failure in his eyes, but at least having no emotional response made tormenting them feel pointless (which is exactly as fucked up as it sounds).

Which is why we may have fucked up big time! Being with us and being treated like their own person has actually been making a difference in how they see themself and how they feel about Strahd and the way he treats people. So far we’ve taught them hatred, anxiety, betrayal, fear, self-doubt...we’re working on the nice emotions, alright!? It’s not easy when you’re in Barovia. Anyway Strahd apparently thinks that this is hilarious. Turns out, the more we rehabilitate Sylras, the more appealing they are as a target for Strahd to mess with. Whoops!!!

Thankfully we all love Sylras a lot and are ride or die for them which means we will absolutely do whatever it takes to protect them (so long as they don’t run head first into battle without telling us again nO WAIT SYLRAS STOP WHERE ARE YOU GOING--)

Baby boy...baby... When I decided to play as Sy for the campaign, I told Malcolm that he could incorporate Joshua into the story however he liked if he wanted to, and man, did he ever deliver. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but the result has been a heart wrenching motivator not just for my PC, but for the entire party.

Poor Joshua was studying away from home to become a bard and wanted to surprise his dad with a visit when the mists arrived to bring him to Barovia. Strahd manipulated Joshua’s situation, putting him in mortal danger and then “saving” him by turning him into his spawn, then convinced him that Ravenloft was the only safe place for him to live in Barovia (not entirely untrue but...come on, dude, Barovia’s only unsafe because of you). Joshua thought of him like a kind saviour, and it was easy for Strahd to convince him to become one of his consorts. Strahd hasn’t made any sexual advances towards Joshua (yet???) and has told Sy that he wants to “preserve Joshua’s purity for as long as possible” which has easily got to be one of the creepiest things a middle aged ass looking dude can say to you about your kid.

Sy kinda had no choice but to leave Joshua at Castle Ravenloft even after their heartfelt reunion, but they still exchange letters. I write Sy’s letters in an adventure diary channel in our game’s discord server, and then me and DM discuss how Joshua would be able to respond and what sort of twist Strahd would give certain events to skew his perspective, which has been a fun/interesting bit of side story to have going on in the background of the main action.

Other changes:

Adventurers love their naked bonding time, and our resident geologist said it was definitely plausible for someone to have discovered a geothermal spring somewhere in Barovia! So the story is, when Carden was setting up his alchemy shop, he was digging a well and...well. The hot spring was pretty useful for him as an alchemist, and his druidic knowledge of herbs and natural remedies meant that he could maintain a decent side business selling soaps, bath salts, and other bath related luxuries, so he went ahead and built a number of pools and facilities as a sort of side business.

Our party has made use of the hot springs several times, but for some reason, we always seem to ruin the relaxation with depressing discussion topics, stressful revelations, or...you know...not noticing one of the party members was actually absent, and the person who had been bathing with us for the past hour was actually Strahd in disguise. That was. A time.

I’ll be able to go into this more in a later post, but one more neat change our DM has made is that he set up a whole masquerade ball for us to go through, which was so much fun! He definitely put a lot of hard work and preparation into it, and we ended up playing several sessions of it, it was so eventful lol. For now, though, I think I’ll end this post, since it’s gotten pretty long! Hopefully it was a fun read, at least lol.

#dnd #d&d #curse of strahd #mandisawesome #inertia-raptor #dnd oc #friend oc #strahd meme #joshua hawthorne #carden #sylras #ismark kolyanovich #ireena kolyanovich #tabaxi #marta #victor #cat mather #art

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jagged--dust-jacket-analysis · 8 months

Text

Spoilers for Bungou Stray Dogs Manga and Anime

So recently one of my favorite anime reaction you tubers, Danny Motta reacted to episodes 3-4 of season five of Bungou. Also known as the episodes where Fukuchi fucks some shit up.

During this episode Danny was ranting and raving about how much he loved Fukuchi as an antagonist, and how cool space time sword was.

And while I think the space time sword is so ridiculous and overpowered it doesn't even deserve to be capitalized, I kind of see where he's coming from in term's of Fukuchi himself.

Because I hate Fukuchi in terms of how his actions effect some of my favorites. But from a writing perspective he's actually an amazing antagonist. Specifically for this story.

Bungou Stray Dogs has made a habit of having not necessarily bad antagonists, but I always feel like they're too easy to defeat. That or they end up switching sides.

The first two seasons are essentially just the ADA picking up random allies from organizations that are supposed to be antagonistic. The issue isn't that they make allies of enemies. It's how quickly it happens, how easily the supposed to be antagonists flip sides.

Then for season three, it was just kinda meh in my opinion. The antagonists were nobody's. Only Fyodor really matters in the grand scheme of it all, but this was mainly to set up bigger things between him and Dazai. Probably a foreshadowing(?) of their face off in Mersault. And then even now, he's really only effecting Dazai, sigma, and Chuuya

Then we have the Hunting Dogs. A step up as antagonists. They get two seasons that focus on them as a group, their motivations. So when Tetcho ends up befriending Kenji it feels more earned as opposed to when other enemies have become allies in the past.

But still with two of the four actual Hunting Dogs "gone" they're kind of in shambles. So while I think they're interesting, they aren't great antagonists currently.

Which leaves Fukuchi.

Now, I dislike Fukuchi because he keeps killing ("killing" let me be delulu) my favorite characters.

But writing wise, he's one of the best antagonists the show has presented.

He's actually decently strong. If we take Space Time Sword out of the equation, he's not unbeatable. But he's certainly not easy to defeat. Clear by how he did have to pull out his stupid hack sword to get him out of a pinch.

He presents Atsushi and the gang an actual challenge. Someone who won't just be beat over the course of a season. He has motivations personal to the main cast, and all of the things he's done have personal ramifications.

It's perfect. Plus he's easily hateable, making me certain there's no redemption for him. Only a lifetime in Jail or a bittersweet death.

So while he's definitely a frustrating character to watch, he works perfectly writing wise.

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #JDJ-Bsd #ōchi fukuchi #Space time sword #bsd manga #bsd season 5 #the hunting dogs #Mori's actually the MOST intresting antag #but we don't know enough about his back story for me to have a proper conversation about that #because I don't know his true motivations yet #the closest we've got is Fukuzawa and cat boi #I'm planning to do a deep dive on cat boi at some point #I'll probably read his book/short story to get a better idea of how he may be characterized #I'm rambaling in the tags now #Lmao

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stevesorgasmicriffs · 3 months

Text

tw: mentions abuse

ten years before i became gender-fluid, and ten years before i aquired a girlfriend, i remember sitting in the backseat of my mom’s car as we were driving to allie’s house.

she lived on a big hill, and every so often i would ask my mom the same nagging “are we there yet?”

not because i was looking forward to my sleepover there.

but because i just wanted the anticipation to be over.

allie was my friend, and i knew her two brothers as teachers at my school. henry was 27 and was what they called my “general education teacher.” percy was 25 and taught phys ed. i loved that class, because to me, it was like a second recess.

“vin,” my mom tossed me her phone. “make sure my location’s off.”

i knew then to tap the setting icon in the bottom right corner, go to “locations,” and press the green switch icon. she’d trained me to do that while she was driving.

and i knew why.

daddy’s pick-up truck would sometimes follow us. she got irritated when that happened. she’d mumble a lot of times “that man deserves to go to jail.” but when i asked why, she would reluctantly say that she didn’t have it her heart to send him there.

my daddy never kissed her, never cuddled her, never told her that he loved her even a slight amount. all he wanted was money. he cared about her too much. always wanted to know where she went, make sure she didn’t “cheat on him with nobody.” he’d be watching.

but he hardly cared about me. that was the most frustrating part. wasn’t he supposed to love me? he was my daddy. he was my parent. a parent was supposed to love their child. not neglect them. not abuse them. not treat them like their whole existence was an accident.

a text flashed on my mom’s home screen, from some guy named “p heart-emoji kiss-emoji heart-emoji.” whatever that meant. “e, we’ll be outside.”

“that p guy texted,” i told my mom.

“okay,” she sighed, “tell him, uh, we’re coming in five mins. make sure to sign it off as ‘e’ for me, ‘kay?”

i nodded and went ahead to text him.

i knew my mom didn’t like texting and driving, she didn’t like to take her eye off the road, and off the rear-view mirror, for one second. there was always that fear of the pick-up following us. every. where.

finally, we reached the top of the big hill. i passed the phone back to my mom and looked out the window.

the house on the right of the road had a giant yard, and that’s where i saw henry and percy, and allie. allie was running around, with henry and percy chasing after her.

that looked like fun. better than being confound to a prison of a bedroom. hiding from the enemy. the stranger-person. the menace.

we parked, and i unbuckled my seatbelt while hearing my mom get out of the car, shutting the door gently behind her. came around to my side to help me out, shutting the door after i hopped onto the pavement. i was more used to hearing the doors slam, any door, really, the car door, my bedroom door. my daddy liked to slam things. he liked to be aggressive.

as we walked up to the three others running around the yard tiresomely, they stopped in their tracks and came up to us, greeting us with friendly smiles and waves, opening their arms up for embraces.

“elodie!” percy cheerily exclaimed, the first to run up to my mom and wrap her up in his warmth. “so glad you could make it.” he then gave her a quick kiss on the cheek, still keeping comfortable hold of her forearms. but i noticed my mom’s expression, and she looked smitten. happy. like it was her first encounter with him, even though it most certainly wasn’t. my daddy reminded me of this constantly, and i had the dark red marks on my collar to prove it.

“is vinny with you?” percy asked. typically, the greeting my mom was met with was a much more anxiety-inducing, aggravated-sounding “where’s vinny?”

i wasn’t used to a friendly and nice and kind demeanor that they couldn’t have more clearly possessed. i was still trembling slightly, out of fear, hiding behind my mom’s leg, clutching onto her jean with nubs for fingers.

“aw, don’t be frightened,” i saw him smile down at me, bending down slightly and resting his hands on his knees. “it’s only me.” he stuck out one of his hands, cocking his head to the side a bit. “you remember me, don’t you?”

i nodded.

his smile grew a bit wider. “we’re playing a small game out front here, and we were hoping if you could join us.”

his voice sounded so much quieter compared to my daddy’s. more calming. more endearing. i wasn’t sure if i could trust it.

suddenly i felt my mom’s hand on my back, pushing me forward just a bit. “go ahead,” vin,” she whispered down to me. “he’s nice. i promise.”

so i glanced back to percy and took a couple steps forward, tentatively sticking out my trembling hand so he could take it.

i was stunned by how gently he took it, not a sudden, forceful grab, tugging me into the kitchen, yanking me into the sitting room. that’s when i would dread what came next.

“how are you?” percy asked me, still bent down to me.

i smiled slightly and shrugged. “i don’t know.”

then i felt a tap on my arm. “i’ll be back to pick you up in the morning tomorrow,” my mom carefully explained. “you be good to percy and henry now.”

i nodded, fearful of what may happen if i broke that promise. “i’ll be a good girl,” i said to her obediently.

“alright,” she blew me a kiss and waved to me, getting back in her car, although i could detect a slight amount of hesitation in her steps.

i watched as her car engine rumbled and she backed away, turning around and driving back in the direction we came.

“vinny, you remember my sister allie, don’t you?” i turned around and saw henry and allie both staring at me, probably wondering why i was so frozen stiff.

i nodded. “yeah, from school.”

percy chuckled. “c’mon, we’re all playing a game. it’s called launch attack missile. allie kinda came up with it.”

the way it worked was, each of the brothers were a target, and allie and i were the “missiles.” percy and henry each carried us like we were actual torpedos, and got to launch us into the other brother by counting off “one… two…” throwing us back a bit during each count, building up the anticipation, and when they went around to saying “three,” they released us onto the grass and we went running towards the other while they comically tried to run away from us. the way we attacked was by grappling onto the other’s legs and bear-hugging, tackling them down to the ground. of course, if we weren’t careful and didn’t return to home base (the brother that was carrying us), we were then met with an attack of our own, an attack of tickles coming from the brother that we just tackled. but it made me squirm and squeal with pure, finite delight. i loved the game so much, and allie told me she did too, but it only worked with two players, and of course her brothers.

before the game even began, allie practically begged percy to be her home base, but percy waved her over to henry. “you never pick henry,” he reasoned. “but percy…” allie whined. “he doesn’t throw me as far.”

“oh, please,” henry grumbled. “i throw you plenty far.”

“but henry’s a better tickler,” allie whined again. “you don’t tickle as well.”

“that’s because i don’t wanna hurt you, silly,” percy chuckled. “c’mon, just this once, i promise when emily comes over next week you can get tickled by henry.”

“fine,” allie muttered.

i wondered if there was a reason percy wanted to be the one to throw me, to get to hold me in his grasp.

but i knew mom trusted him as well. so i could trust him.

percy offered me his hand again, when he saw that i hadn’t moved from the position that my mom left me.

“i promise it’s fun,” he smiled. “you have fun in gym class, don’t you?” he pointed with his thumb over to allie. “allie over here wishes we played attack missiles in gym.”

“why don’t we?” allie asked.

“you gotta have both of us,” percy reasoned, pointing to himself and henry, “and henry’s busy teaching. so you’re out of luck.”

allie pouted at this and folded her arms.

“aw, chin up, kid,” henry rubbed her head, “you play it plenty here.”

so we ended up playing a few rounds. and i slowly got into the swing of it. the more percy held me, the more comfortable i felt. the more safe i felt. the less i wanted him to let go.

“now can we switch off?” allie asked through an impatient grumble.

“erm…” percy looked down at me, and i flashed a fearful glance back up at him, not wanting to switch off at all. “no, allie, not just yet. we’re only gonna do one more round, anyway, it’s getting a little late, and i bet you’re getting hungry.”

“percyyy,” allie whined. “you’re no funnn.”

“allie, do you want to play, or do you want to go to bed early tonight?” i heard henry ask her.

“fine,” allie moaned.

but when the game did end, i found myself siding with allie: not wanting it to ever be over. i was actually having… fun..?

“didja like it?” percy asked me, bending down a bit to put a hand on my shoulder. i grinned and nodded. “i wanna play it again.”

he chuckled. “maybe another time,” he winked at me.

our dinner that night was a whole cheese pizza, with cookies and milk. i wasn’t used to the offer of such delicacies. only in school, and only on my birthday, did i ever recieve a treat such as that. so i didn’t quite know what to make of all of the others helping themselves to multiple slices, and multiple cookies.

“you sure you don’t want more?” percy asked me, flashing me a playful glance of disbelief.

i sat back in my seat and rested my hand on my stomach. “my tummy hurts,” i giggled.

“oh, c’mon, it can’t be hurting already, you’ve only had one of each, and no milk!” henry laughed, pushing the cookie platter my way. “c’mon, vinny, just one more.”

i shook my head, pushing it away, my smile fading slightly. “i… i don’t want any more.”

“she doesn’t eat much when we have pizza parties in class,” i heard percy mumble to him, and henry flashed a sad, almost concerned glance back at him in response.

“what’s the matter? why can’t she eat?” allie asked, a bit louder and more obnoxiously.

“she’s not used to rich food that we can afford. and that the school can afford,” percy explained further to her. “but she’s alright. she can eat what she wants to eat.”

contrary to what my daddy would always say to my mom, “she eats what i want her to eat. nothing more.”

i was used to eating hardly anything. i was used to watching my daddy eat the lion’s share. my mom getting what was left over. what more could my daddy want to eat? he was already grossly overweight.

“vinny,” i felt percy take my hand, “why don’t i lead you upstairs, into allie’s room? you’ll be sleeping there for the night, is that alright?”

i was too fearful of the consequences if i objected. so i nodded, with a small smile.

but i want to sleep with you, i thought to myself. you’re safe. you’re nice. you’re gentle. you’re happy.

so i let him take my hand and lead me upstairs.

“getting sleepy at all?” he asked, and i yawned in response.

“that game wore you out, didn’t it?”

i nodded, grinning. “but it was fun.”

he mirrored my smile and rubbed the top of my head. “i’m glad it was. you’re really good at running around.” as if i wasn’t forced to stay put in my room all day. he didn’t know that. did he?

“anyway, here it is.” we came to the top floor of the house, looking into a giant blue room with a blow-up mattress next to a queen-size bed. that was the biggest room i had ever seen. ever. it was nearly twice as big as my own room. it felt like a mansion.

then percy took a knee beside me, taking hold of both my hands.

“if you need me, i’m downstairs in the creamy yellow room,” he explained carefully to me. “it’ll be the second door on the left. and the door will be left open a crack, so you’ll know. i’ll even put a sign, if you’d like. i’m always here if you need me. okay?” he looked me directly in the eyes as he said this. something my daddy never did with my mom.

i nodded slowly, smiling a bit. “okay.”

he smiled back at me and ran a hand from the front of my head to the back. “you’re a beautiful girl,” he said to me in a considerably lower voice. “really beautiful.”

“thanks,” i felt myself blush a bit. i didn’t quite understand why he was being so nice to me just then. i knew that he had a reputation for being nice to all his students, very welcoming, embracing. but it seemed like this, right now, carried a special purpose and meaning to it. i just didn’t know what it was.

after percy gradually let go of my hands, stood back up and left, allie came running in.

“sleepoverrr!!!” she grinned, jumping onto my air mattress.

“hey, don’t break that thing,” i heard henry call after her, “it cost us a lot of money.”

then he walked into the room, instantly taking notice of me.

he flashed me an empathetic smile and thumbs up. “you good?” he asked me, and i nodded.

“you like it here?”

i nodded again.

“okay, good.” he pointed to allie. “don’t let her wear you out too much. she’s supposed to only do that to us,” he chuckled.

then i watched as he turned around and left the room, leaving just me and allie there.

i looked back to allie, who was now jumping on her own bed.

“i’m not tired,” she sang, right before flopping down on the mattress with her head hitting the pillow with a soft thump.

“allie…” i whispered, looking around… “there’s no… monsters here… are there?”

allie looked around with me, shrugging. “no,” she grinned, “no monsters, only shadows. monsters aren’t real, they can’t hurt you.” she gestured to all the fairy lights all around her, glowing in a rainbow of colors. “let’s play fairies, who live in fairy kingdom,” she giggled. “i’m the queen fairy, and…” she yawned. “they’re very… very… friendly… nice… sweet… fair….ies…” suddenly i could see her head turn around in the pillow, facing away from me.

suddenly the lights grew dark, and outside the window, the sky was pitch black.

nighttime was the scariest time for me. it was the time of night where i often experienced night terrors, tremors. i had to be on high alert. that was, until i drifted off to sleep naturally. but i had a hard time falling asleep. i was never finally diagnosed with insomnia. but i was always fearful, of what would happen when i was asleep, because when i was asleep, i was unconscious. unable to put up my defenses. not from anything physical. no, no. he was asleep. i guess that was something i could look forward to. but really, what was there to look forward to, in a life like mine?

in my dreams, i was a delicate, fragile object. a subject of even greater fright and fear.

i would hear the glass shattering against the wall. the muffled, disgruntled screeching, screaming, yelling. cursing the lord’s name. listing off sins that i was too innocent to grasp comprehending. the hits. the slaps. the punches. the yelps of pain, of agony. the loud, overbearing threats. and i could see the clenched fists, the large boots that made those loud footsteps that i always dreaded hearing. the ones that made my pulsing heart catch in my throat.

and when he came for me, my heart stopped entirely.

i felt numb, dizzy. i could feel the large, grimy hand tickle the back of my neck. grip it with a force i couldn’t describe in accurate words. the pressure that my bones felt. oh i’d always feel claustrophobic even if the space was open as ever. and the verbal torture. the demands. the questions. the “don’t play dumb with me young lady,” followed by and even gruffer “you ain’t know shit.” the throwing against the wall. the concussion. everything being blurry to me. “don’t you hurt her like that, she’s only five!” more screaming. yelling, cursing. the voices raising to a crescendo thag only led to an ear-splitting headache.

the next morning, i’d always awake to the tiny lacerations he left behind. all the bruises. and i’d hurt. and i’d hurt knowing that the cycle would repeat in precisely twelve hours from then.

my eyes shot open, my breath quickening, lungs feeling like they were catching fire and burning down into black ash. i looked outside the window. the black sky was still there. everything was black. the room was dark. i felt comfortable knowing that for once, something other than my eye was that color.

i scrambled out of my bed and ran out of the room.

the hallway was dark. my heart was bound to leap out of its chest with every passing second. i counted them in my mind with each footstep crewing closer and closer to the staircase.

i walked slowly, carefully, gradually, fearing any misstep that would surely wake the entire house up. but how could it, when the place was so huge?

i never could admit being fearful of the dark. but maybe the fear was subtle. lingering. i never knew for sure until my therapist gave a thorough analysis. more than anything, i was fearful of pain. of abuse. and of neglect. and compared to all those fears, a fear of the dark seemed so insignificant. so childlike. i was a child. i was still. so. innocent.

i began to run down the stairs, before reaching the bottom. i nearly tripped on the last of the stairs, coming so close to falling flat on my face. i thought i was going to throw up, and my heart would come right out along with the vommit.

and that’s when i heard it.

footsteps.

my heels did an entire 180° turn and i bolted in the opposite direction, about to leap right back up those stairs, before i felt a hand grab one of mine.

i used the other to stifle the scream that nearly jumped out of my vocal chords. instead, it merely sounded muffled.

i felt my whole body shake uncontrollably, frozen in place. i could move. i couldn’t breath. i could barely speak. as if i was paralyzed. this feeling i was so used to, although to anyone else, it would probably feel like the worst feeling in the world.

“p-please d-don’t… please don’t hurt me daddy…” my quiet voice stammered, the routine response i gave anytime i was caught doing anything wrong… or just… anything.

but the grab my hand received wasn’t at all like the ones i’d been so used to receiving.

it was a simple grab.

not a yank. not a tug. not a pull.

just a hand holding mine. and it didn’t feel hairy, or rough.

the skin felt soft to touch. and almost… comforting.

but i was still skeptical.

the fingers intertwined with mine, something my daddy never did.

and it held it firmly in place, not shaking my arm loose and treating me like i was some rag doll.

no. to this hand i was a person. a human being. just an innocent little kid.

and then i recognized it.

suddenly a light flickered on, and we were both in a creamy yellow room, sitting on a quite comfortable bed. i was too much in a daze to even pay attention to where i was being taken to, where i was walking to.

“percy,” i whispered when i saw his face, nearly jumping into his lap and wrapping my arms around his torso, squeezing him tight. “i was so scared.”

i felt his hand rub my back gently. he felt so warm. so soft. unlike any person i’d ever seen or felt before.

“you were having a nightmare, weren’t you?” he whispered in my ear.

i nodded.

“oh, darling,” he pressed a kiss into my temple. “i’m so sorry to hear that. i promise i won’t hurt you. i promise.” he held me closer to him, squeezing me just a touch. “i promise i won’t let anything hurt you, okay?” he kissed me again. “i promise.”

he could still feel me trembling slightly. the nerves were still lingering.

“your mom told me about your nightmares… and how you have them every night, yeah?” now he was speaking to me in an almost-whisper.

i nodded, not wanting to let go.

“that’s… that’s horrible…” it felt like he was muttering this to himself moreso than me. “i’m… i’m so sorry…”

there was a brief lull in the conversation, before i felt his hand rub my back again.

“vinnie… you would trust me… wouldn’t you?”

i nodded.

“you promise?”

“i promise.” the inflection in my voice was more genuine than when i made the promise to my mom. it didn’t feel like i had to be obedient. it felt like… it felt like i was speaking to someone i knew i could be honest to.

“i don’t want you feeling scared,” percy whispered to me. “i never want you feeling unsafe. or that you’re not wanted. or loved. i never want to hurt you. i never want to treat you like a prisoner. i never want to harm you with my words. i never… i never want to do any of that. because that’s just… that’s just wrong.” he shifted my position around in his lap so that i was facing him, tilting my chin up so my eyes met him.

i nodded slowly, to show that i was understanding what he was saying. and i knew that what he was saying was true. my mom knew this as well, but our opinions were always stifled under the only opinion that mattered in our own household… so they carried no significance. here, with percy, someone finally understood.

“it’s wrong,” he whispered to me, shaking his head. “very wrong. you… you go to jail for shit like that. why… why isn’t he in jail…” as if he was asking me.

i shrugged.

he looked down at me, shaking his head with a small smile. “sorry, just talking to myself. i don’t think you know what all that means yet.” he rubbed the top of my head, bringing it into his chest. “that’s okay.”

“can i… can i stay here?” i whispered with slight hesitation.

“of course you can.” there was no hesitation in his. “you poor thing. i hate to see you so scared.”

he seemed lost in thought for a brief moment.

then he smiled, looking down at me again. “did your mom ever tell you a bedtime story?”

i shook my head.

“no?” he stroked the top of my head again. “well, i guess it’s time you hear one. you… wanna hear one?”

i nodded, my curiosity instantly piqued.

so he began to tell the story of a small boy, about my age, with a missing front tooth and a plush duck he carried around with him all the time, named num-nums, and how he loved to spend his time in his backyard, playing in his treehouse, making up these strange creatures in his head, monsters he called them, but they weren’t scary monsters. they were friendly monsters, that were colored all these different bright colors, and had different numbers of eyes. some had horns. some looked really, really mean, and really, really big, but they were all gentle and kind. and when he’d tell his classmates at school about them, they would all be scared of them. later on, they would laugh at him, for still believing in “imaginary friends.” and even more later on, he realized that his monsters were much, much nicer than humans ever were to him, and could be to anyone. humans were the real monsters. the real-life monsters.

“that’s why he liked children so much,” he said. “they love to frolic in fantasy, to play pretend, and to not care about the real world.” he sighed. “i wish i could still be a kid... but, eventually you grow up and you learn just how terrible the real world is.”

there was a sad gleam in his eye as he looked off to the side, at the wall closest to us, before glancing back down to me.

“you like your mom, don’t you?”

i smiled and nodded.

“she’s nice, isn’t she?”

i continued to nod.

“yeah, she’s real nice. very nice… she adores you… so much… you’ve no idea…” he brushed a tuft of my hair back behind my ear with his fingers. “and you take right after her,” he swiped my nose. “beautiful. kind. cute…” he tickled my tummy a bit. “got a cute laugh.” he rocked me a bit in his arm. “she never told me how adorable you were.” his smile only seemed to grow wider. “and now i know.”

i’d never heard someone speak as quiet as he did. it almost hit you straight in the heart, how genuine he sounded, how endearing he acted… he truly meant what he said and did. he had nothing but true intentions. he didn’t have to put up a single act. all he wanted was for me to be safe, comfortable, but not just that. he went beyond that. he wanted me to be happy as well.

and i couldn’t stop grinning every time he spoke to me.

“your mom never married that jerk, did she?”

i shook my head.

“she’s gonna run away from him, isn’t she?”

my mom never mentioned that, so i shrugged.

percy shook his head. “never mind that.”

i thought back to what i did remember her telling me. that she did want to get married. that she wanted to have another baby. she always wanted a family with the right person, and she always wanted two kids. two was a lucky number for her.

“look at this,” percy reached over and pulled something out of his bedroom drawer. it was a small box, and when he opened it up, a small diamond ring was inside. it looked dazzling. like something out of a dream.

“you think she’ll like it?” percy asked me, putting the box in my hands.

i took one good look at it before passing it back to him, nodding. “yeah.”

“you think she’ll like wearing it?”

i nodded.

i didn’t know what significance that ring held, but the way percy made it sound, it seemed super important.

i watched as he put it back away in the drawer.

“tell me this, vinnie…” percy’s voice caught my attention as he sat back down. “how would you feel about you and your mom moving closer to here,” he pointed down at the ground, “and having me come stay with you guys for a bit? like, living together? would you mind that?”

i didn’t have to contemplate that for one second, something in my mind told me that i could immediately say yes to that question. i just knew.

“i would like it,” i grinned.

“would you?” there was an eager inflection in his voice. “what about if i stayed…” he leaned in close to me, “forever?” when he said “forever,” he made it sound like a mysterious whisper, which made me giggle.

“i would like that,” i said again, without second thought.

he chuckled a bit and squeezed me tight. “aw, that’s great. then we could have sleepovers every. single. night. and pillow fights. and more pizza and cookies…” he looked down at me, caressing my cheek a bit. “you’d like that, wouldn’t you?”

i eagerly nodded, giggling.

“yeah, that would be fun.” he gave my back another rub. “you’re such a love.”

this made me feel warm inside. it was the strangest feeling, something i never thought anyone was capable of making me possess. except maybe in school, where i could be as far away from my daddy as i possibly could. or rather, someone that i wouldn’t be calling “daddy” for much longer.

“i wish i could see you more,” i found myself saying to him.

“ah, well, you’ll be getting that wish,” percy chuckled. this made me smile wide.

i threw my arms around him again and squeezed him tight, this time, not for protection, but rather, genuine affection. something i never knew anyone was capable of possessing, let alone me.

he smiled and kissed my forehead, running his fingers through my hair. “i love you,” he whispered. “i mean it. i really do. i just… i just hope you love me too.”

“i love you too,” i whispered back, nuzzling into his shirt, finding myself drifting off into the most comfortable sleep i’d remembered having, quite possibly ever.

and as the weeks and months passed, i learned how to trust and love percy more and more. he grew to be my favorite person in the entire universe. he was the one i always turned to, even more than my mom.

now, ten years after that night i remember so vividly, i was proud to no longer call him percy, but instead, a name that i used to hate saying with all my breath, sounding so revolting once it rolled off my tongue.

now, that word carried a complete opposite meaning, a meaning of love and trust, of care and compassion.

now, i didn’t feel pity when i said that word.

now, i felt proud to say it, every time i did.

because now, i could call him dad.

and he was the happiest dad you could ever meet, because he didn’t just have one daughter to gush over.

he had two.

i now had a baby sister named pepper, that was biologically his.

and he loved her to bits and pieces.

the man that i once called my daddy eventually did get sent to prison, it only took long enough, but once that day came, we celebrated with full vigor… and lots of pizza, of course.

that came after we moved into the house right next door to allie’s, where she and henry still live. but percy now had a life of his own.

as did i.

and now, i was ready to start a new chapter of my life.

a chapter with my girlfriend, connie.

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