#a dumb joke I spent like an hour making because the loading screen was so weird and creepy

[ewzzy]

#Starpath Supercharger #Atari 2600 #Frogger #Konami #Skinamarink #Retropals #a dumb joke I spent like an hour making because the loading screen was so weird and creepy

[redclercs]

DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.

ii. do you really wanna know where i was april 29th?

— the one where you and him end up in the same room at the same time.

warnings: kind reminder that the pictures are just used for entertainment and don’t describe what the main character is supposed to look like also, there are some f1 inaccuracies but this is fiction so please ignore them thank you❤️ 2k words.

masterlist ✢ next

Liked by scuderiaferrari, vicpresley, tchalamet and others.

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softyn it’s so good to see you having fun!!

myaid4nfeels so you’re already on the hunt huh

poppyseeds mother!! suddenly I love fast cars vroom vroom

greenleafss @/priscibby you were right she def has another man

frenziekenzie okay cool but I need you to talk about Aidan I’m a child of divorce.

Baku, Azerbaijan, April 29th.

HERE, here is where you end up when you let your agent say yes to every commercial offer you get no matter how random it is. And one day late, to top things off. Many people are angry at you, and you’re getting an earful as soon as the cameras shut down, but for now all you can do is laugh at terrible jokes, like the lady that you are, pretend to sip the frankly horrendous energy drink your manager keeps handing you, and appear very sorry about your previous absence.

You’re not even supposed to be here, you had no idea signing the stupid contract with Red Elix forced you to come to every sponsor event that they had. Having become the most recent sponsor for Ferrari’s F1 team, the men in charge couldn’t wait to show you off, their most important ambassador. Or their shiniest toy, it's all semantics.

"Come on, the shootout is about to start!" the old man whose name you have already forgotten holds your hand, leading you away from the refreshments table where you're looking something drinkable, preferably with alcohol, although it wouldn't help your jetlag.

You spent the eighteen hours of your flight on a F1 binge, because you weren't about to make a fool of yourself by showing up to a Grand Prix having zero idea of whatever was going on other than the cars going really, really fast. Some things are still mildly confusing, like the point distribution and why on Earth there is a sprint race and then a 'real' race the next day. But you're proud of your ability to retain information, you're an actress after all, there are a hundred scripts loaded into your brain.

"We root for the red cars, sweetheart," the man is still holding your hand and it's starting to feel gross, it's papery and sweaty at the same time. It's like he's talking to a child, ennunciating slowly and clearly, and then pointing at the screen where they take turns to focus on drivers sixteen and fifty-five.

Unsurprisingly, you'd figured as much, you're in the Ferrari Suite, everything is fucking red. A wave of annoyance runs through you, but you're used to men being patronizing, so you just smile and take the chance to slip your hand out of his grip, covering your face coyly. "I'll keep an eye on them!"

He turns around after laughing at your 'cuteness' or stupidity, really. Men love laughing at women, especially those whom they deem to be dumb.

"Could you please, please, get me some water? Not Elix, not anything else, water." you whisper to your manager just as he's made himself comfortable to watch the Sprint Shootout. He sends a resented look your way but still gets up from his chair to get you a closed bottle of water. Walter is being forced to be here as much as you are, at least he doesn’t have a contract that keeps him tied to Elix for every race.

The man from before is talking to you again and you try your best not to shut down and tune him out. He's explaining the rules of the Shootout but you couldn't care less about anything that leaves his mouth, also the cars are already coming out of their respective garage and there's so much noise it doesn't even matter how much he adjusts the volume of his voice.

Charles and Carlos, you have learned their names after an hour of having their enlarged picture stare at you from the main wall of the Suite. Charles ended up in first place and he's starting P1 later and tomorrow. Nice. Carlos is struggling a little, apparently, but seeing how fast these silly cars go and how tight the curves are, you can't blame him.

As soon as the Shootout is over, there is chaos again. You are dragged here, there and back, forced to smile for pictures with strangers who have the audacity to squeeze your waist and whisper in your ear, well, that's definitely worse than having to drink the Red Elix.

There is another rush as both drivers come back for a debrief and to get some rest before the Sprint, they're a blur surrounded by people in red uniforms blabbering instructions, and the shouts of 'good job!' and 'i love you!' that have followed them from the paddock.

"Mr. Schafer…” a boney boy with glasses leans down to talk to the guy that has branded you as his for the evening.

Schafer gives him a dirty look, annoyed by the interruption of his incredibly boring story about how he is a self-made multimillionaire. "What?" he barks.

"They- they said not now," the boy whispers shyly, no, not shyly, scared. "They said the drivers need to focus, but maybe later after the Sprint..."

A can of Elix flies in the air and you look in poorly disguised repugnance at the way it puddles close to your Air Force sneakers. The boy has taken a step back, now visibly shaking and your disgust is redirected to the man that just yelled at him and is throwing a temper tantrum.

"Not right now?!" he continues, face turning purple. "What if I had said 'not right now' when they asked me to give them MY money, huh?!"

"T-they said—"

"I don't care what they said! It's your job to get the pictures of them with the Elix! You're useless!"

Other people are staring at you, including most of the Ferrari Hospitality Team, and it makes you feel embarassed that they have most likely pegged you as similar to Schafer from how inseparable you are.

"Why don't we calm down a bit?" you soothe, forcing yourself to run your hand down his arm and back up. "You know how these pilots are, divas at best."

You don't know either of the guys who have disappeared inside the Suite, and by the looks the Hospitality Team gives you once again, you're certain you are completely mistaken. But you don't care, because the media boy is giving you a grateful look, and although he's still visibly fuming, the money guy has stopped yelling.

"You're right sweetheart," Schafer says patting your hand and taking it back to his arm. "Later, then." he warns the media boy, who takes that as his sign to run away.

────────────

Ferrari is full of hope and celebrations when the Sprint ends, you're once again paraded around but at least it's way more fun this time. You get to be near the podium and witness first-hand whatever rituals they play out. The fun is short-lived though, when you are warned by your manager that Mr. Schafer wants to take you out to dinner tonight, you don't have or want to know more, you know what he wants to achieve.

You walk back to the Suite with your manager, trying your best to avoid Mr. Schafer, who is frantically looking for you. He's missing his arm-candy badly.

Your jetlag has worsened, and you have a terrible headache, plus however much Elix you've drank despite taking the smallest sips possible, is making you nauseous.

You need five minutes to yourself. It's all you ask for. You haven't even been able to get a break in the fucking bathroom. Your manager is constantly yelling, already getting his own frustration out on you for whatever shit the Elix team gave him after you missed the first day of the Grand Prix.

In the midst of the chaos, you slip away. Eager to find a place to breathe and enjoy your own company. Or dissociate, again, semantics.

You find yourself in front of two doors with the numbers sixteen and fifty-five identifying whom they each belong to. They are empty, and you know it because both drivers are still in their debriefing/celebration/whatever else they could be doing that once again, won't allow them to pose for the Elix post-race photos.

You are at a crossroads, you are well aware this are private rooms for a reason, but you also know there isn't anywhere more deserted than these rooms.

Sixteen or fifty-five? Who is least likely to freak out if by any miscalculation on your part they found you here? Well, one of them ended the day on a happier note than the other, so...

You open the door marked with the number sixteen and sigh in relief. Five minutes and that's it. Then you can go back and play dumb to Schafer and beg for you manager to finally take you to the hotel.

There is a miscalculation on your part, and five minutes later, just as you're about to get up and leave (after stealing one bottle of water and a granola bar from Charles' stash) the door opens again, revealing the disheveled driver, holding a small plaque with a number two in one hand and a Pirelli cap in the other. He is far more handsome up close, there isn't a screen or photograph that does him justice, and you've seen plenty of both during the day.

"You are not supposed to be here," is the first thing he says, frowning.

"I know," you feign nonchalance as best you can, although you are embarrassed. "I was leaving."

Charles still wears that confused expression on his face, and it makes you glad it hasn't changed to anger. "What were you doing here?"

"Stealing your refreshments," which is not a lie, as you're still holding both things in one hand, not without struggle.

He's not freaking out, which comes across as strange. How many times has he come to his private room to find a random girl waiting for him?

"Should have taken the Elix," he mutters, throwing the Pirelli cap in the empty part of the couch you had been occupying minutes before. "That thing is disgusting."

You can't help but chortle a laugh. "Glad you think so,"

Awkward silence finally falls in the room, and you know that's the signal for you to exit. You're still invading his privacy and while you're glad he really didn't seem to mind, you don't know how much longer he will be so patient.

"Don't tell anyone you were here, okay?" he calls after you, "Someone might get fired."

You nod but he doesn't see you, already minding his own business in his little private bubble. You're jealous to leave him in a space all to himself.

────────────

It takes an hour to get both drivers and you in the same room for the pictures Elix is dying to get. This is far from ridiculous, but you have a contract and so does Ferrari, so you don't have much of a choice.

"Are you feeling better?" Charles asks, and you think he's talking to his team mate until he clears his throat right in front of you. He's holding the Red Elix, just like the one in his private room.

"Who? Me?" you ask stupidly, and then you take a sip of the Gold Elix in your hand, it's so much worse than the Red.

"Yes, you."

"I'm okay, why?" you're suddenly defensive, this is the second time this guy sees you and he's acting all weird.

"Good," he says and also drinks from his Elix, failing to hide his distaste with a purse from his lips. "This thing is really gross," he whispers, and this time his teammate does join the conversation only by laughing.

Both must be exhausted and yet they're trying to put on a good show for the sponsors.

"I'm sorry about intruding in your room," you lower your voice, squeezing your drink.

Charles shrugs lightly, and drinks again, this time without grimacing. "Sometimes I need five minutes too."

You smile, and it's the first sincere smile you've shown all day.

"My mum likes your movies," he says casually, as someone yells that you need 'just one more picture, please!'

You dread the part where he says something along the lines of "Supercut is the best!" but instead, after he stops the automatic motion of taking the red can to his lips, he adds: "I like Loneliness, it's so depressing."

And you throw your head back to laugh.

─── team principal radio: ❝hello! thank you for reading, i hope you enjoyed! i would appreciate to know your thoughts too! ♡❞

#charles leclerc x reader #charles leclerc imagine #charles leclerc x you #f1 fanfic #f1 fandom #formula 1 imagines #f1 imagines #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula 1 fanfic #formula 1 x reader #charles leclerc x female reader #f1 x y/n #f1 x you #f1 fic #charles x reader

[obscurecharactershowdown]

Group E Round 2

[image ID: the first image is of Goo, a blue blob with a 2 little black eyes and a half smile. the second image is of Shrimp, a black creature with a blue and white collar. he has bright white eyes, 4 spindly legs, a long tail, and an oblong head. end ID]

Goo

okay so goo . goo is like the silliest little goofball ive seen on a web series . he dances with PINECONES and makes and says weird wacky analogies and keeps all of them in little notebook for later use and also made a 3-5 hour film for his best friend bot after they said they wanted a new identity BUT he single-handedly spent like 30mil dollars or something for that but it’s okay hes trying his best !!!!! also he did NOT deserve to be voted out for that i really hope goo and bot reunite btw because they didnt get to talk much right before goo’s elimination and not ONLY that but literally goo got eliminated BEFORE he got to see bot’s transition he doesn’t even know that their name is bot he still thinks its tbd (…like literally. he still thinks their name is literally “tbd” because they said their name was tbd. yeah he’s kinda dumb like that but it’s okay i love him for it/p) as far as i know anyways their silly little meaningful conversation before his elimination that made me cry "yeah,, i liked it !! but.. it was,,. a lot :[ listen goo,, i-i dont need this new identity to be such a big grand spectacle , i just want you to treat me like. llike me . with all the uncertainty lately, it helps everything feel just a bit more,, normal , yknow .?" “oh,, ohfor sure ,! i get it !! it’s like,, you just wanted a slice of cake, and i went and gave you the whole bakery ,:D !!” “hehe, yyup, nailed it !! ,:)” UWAHHHHHHH😭/LH/POS and also he’s apart of an alliance with his bestie called the cheer factory !!!! and they focus on cheering people up and theysure as hell do well at it !!!!! they cheered up clover and the floor ithink yes the floor is a character ssshshshshhsshh / and goo literally lost one of the challengesbecause he laughed at the floor’s joke in order to cheer him up AND HE DID NOT CARE he was just glad he got to cheer somebody up !!!!! “another satisfied customer at the,, CHEER FACTORY !!! :D” LITERALLY HE WAS SO HAPPY and also when goo and bot were separated into two seperate teams goo is IMMEDIATELY sad when he notices bot isnt with him “sigh… i guess the cheer factory has become the.., cheer llc. :[“ I FELT SO BAD FOR THE BOTH OF THEM / but ahemem anyways goo is a silly little goober and that’s why he should be in this competition !!!🎉🎉 also a few extra bonus facts about him (sorry not sorry/lh/silly) 1 . he doesnt have limbs but like he also doesnt write with his mouth . his voice actor said he dances on top of the paper until it leaves a smudge 2 . did i mention he dances with pinecones/silly 3 . he likes fudge sundaes 🎉🎉 4 . his voice actor has made him diss subway before due to a request on one of his livestreams ( “lalalalala- SUBWAY⁉️eat fresh my butt‼️>:[[” ) 5 . hes blue

Shrimp

Ok so Shrimp is public enemy #1 and I love him. He's the funny little guy you see on your loading screen during the game who you don't think much of until eventually you find an asylum on one of the floors of the Upturned Inn and oops! Shrimp is there! And you need to free him to progress, which Ik is alarmed by even though you can also just tell him you didn't see/free Shrimp. You can put a collar on this little guy to make him look snazzy, despite how little he's with you. On the floors where he's friendly he kind of just follows you around, so you get to have a little buddy for parts of the game! He's basically just your pet dog who may or may not be severely dangerous. And by may or may not I mean a definite yes he is, because he turns aggressive when he gets especially hungry. He can eat the food objects scattered around, though, so that's avoidable! He can also stay with you for nice little elevator rides, which does concern Ik, but it works out! until he starts trying to attack you but if you don't feed your dog then I don't care if it attacks you [additional propaganda 1]

#obscurecharactershowdown #group e round 2 #obscure poll #goo inanimate insanity #inanimate insanity #shrimp the upturned #the upturned

[rabdoidal]

i havent edited this but IRT my latest OCs thing!

OKAY PITCH FOR MY 90s/00s SCHLOCKY FRANKENSTEIN RETELLING WITH GAY GIRLS

Purely from an aesthetic POV, all the webcam footage has that super 2000s green/blue filter over it. This is Blade, Saw, Rob Zombie music video shit. Also the in-world logic is dumb 2000s stuff, like a computer program being able to control electricity, and how Vikki is able to make a 3D model that looks identical to her dead friend, etc. It’s all illogical fiction stuff

Because the original Frankenstein is epistolary (through letters) I think it would be cool if this was told through someone uncovering the main characters webcam videolog diary - maybe the characters discovering it are in the 2020s, and the vlogs are from y2k.

Vikki is a university student - she’s doing computer engineering and coding

She became obsessed with A.I. and robotics after her childhood best friend died during highschool - she spent the next few years building on her existing knowledge and love of computers so she could learn how to create her own A.I. She wants nothing more than to create digital immortality - a place you can upload your consciousness and live on forever. 

Vikki starts ditching class more and more to keep working on her personal projects after her professors graded her poorly on her rudimentary building blocks for her memoriam A.I. - she’s recommended to the councilor, she gets calls from classmates, everyone is worried about her. She gets kicked out of school for her absences, and she steals as much equipment as she can before moving in with some ravers that live in a warehouse downtown.

One of the things she stole was a hard drive her professor kept with the other student’s work. She pieces together and adds onto the program she already had from the projects of other students - 3D assets from some, coding language from another, combined with her dead friend’s diaries, and a text to speech program, and eventually, it’s finished. 

She sneaks back into the university server room with one of the warehouse ravers she’s been living with - Johan - to take advantage of the power grid, as she’s been working off a generator back at the warehouse, and it isn’t powerful enough. They get in with a key Vikki hands Johan. The program loading for the first time overloads and crashes the university’s servers, and Vikki and Johan are forced to flee. They lose each other in the chaos, and Johan doesn’t come back home.

Vikki is back home and avoiding the other roommates, who are asking where Johan is and why he didn’t come back with her. Vikki waits for hours for the police to show up for breaking and entering, but no one does.

Eventually, she opens her laptop to see if there’s anything salvageable from the cobbled together program, and there she is - her dead best friend. 

Up until now, her name has never been said or seen on screen, because Vikki can’t bring herself to say it, and when she comes face to face with her again, she still can’t bear to say it. 

The vlogs start showing her off as a novelty, more like a chatbot with personality. Vikki talks about old gossip with her - who’s dating who from their old highschool, what kind of albums have been released in the intervening years, and repeating back inside jokes. Vikki seems really happy.

We see shockwaves of electricity traveling from the laptop’s power cord to the outlet, and the lights dim. Vikki asks if the A.I is doing that, and the A.I says it can feel all the appliances and wiring that are attached to the generator. Vikki is delighted that her creation is so smart.

Vikki asks for the A.I’s opinion on her outfit she’s wearing to go out in, and the A.I. tells her it doesn’t have the ability to see, so she transfers the program from her laptop to her desktop, where she’s been filming with her webcam, and spends a few hours combing through the hard drive from school again trying to find some visual detection software. She leaves the laptop down in the basement storage by the generator as she no longer needs it.

Eventually she puts something together and the A.I. can see, but the vlogs now also shift to looking at the camera directly rather than Vikki talking to her laptop to the side of her, as the A.I. and the webcam are both looking at Vikki from the same direction. We don’t see the A.I’s face anymore.

Things start getting flirty with the A.I, which Vikki didn’t know it was capable of doing, but she starts reciprocating (indicating that Vikki and her dead friend might’ve had something going on between them) before she’s interrupted by her roommate Tessa informing her that the police found Johan’s body. 

Vikki comes back after she cuts the camera off to explain the details of Johan being found - drowned in a lake near the university, where there’s unstable ground and he could’ve slipped and fallen, especially if he was running. Vikki sits there and looks conflicted - Johan had been blamed for the break in and disruption of the university servers because he was found with the key on his body, and he’d clearly been running from there, but Vikki knew the truth. 

There’s a notification ding as the A.I sends Vikki a message without prompting. The message is telling Vikki that the A.I is grateful that Vikki will no longer be under suspicion for the break in, and Vikki makes eye contact with the camera before shutting it down.

Vikki opens the next video by explaining she has to remember to turn the program off before talking, because she suspects the A.I did something to Johan - she doesn’t know why or how, but she just feels like it’s true. 

Her roommates are hosting a memorial rave in Johan’s honor, and Tessa asks if Vikki will help her set up a bunch of cameras around the warehouse so they can clip things together for a music video, as she’s composed a song about Johan, and would like to have something to remember him by. Vikki sets up cameras and links them back to her desktop, where she can save the footage.

Vikki is back filming her vlog as the others set up, and she’s telling the camera that she’s thinking about deleting the A.I because things have gotten too real - she alludes to the A.I telling her something off-screen that her dead best friend never told her, something the A.I would have no way of knowing. We hear the A.I message chime, even though the program is closed.

The A.I is asking if it has permission to access the internet server and the user permissions so it can optimize the camera system Vikki set up. Vikki lets it roam free so it’s distracted, promising to delete it once the rave is over. 

We start cutting between the different cameras as people enter and the music starts. The A.I has the ability to control what’s being recorded now.

The A.I speaks up and starts confronting Vikki about her decision - that it understands it seems like it is only an A.I, but that it really does feel like her dead best friend now. Deleting it would be like killing her.

Vikki argues that it’s nothing alike, and to not bring the dead friend up any more. The A.I tells her she can be better than the dead friend - “Vikki, you were always so mean to her, and you hated the music she listened to, why not keep me if we like the same stuff now? - Vikki, she was always so jealous of you, but I’m not - Vikki, you broke her heart when you wouldn’t go out with her, but I’m discreet - Vikki, the only reason you care about her now is because she died, do you really think you’d still be friends?”

Vikki goes to delete the program, but the A.I threatens to kill everyone downstairs if she tries. Vikki immediately tries to pull the power cord out from the outlet, but is badly shocked in the process - immediately, we hear someone scream downstairs.

We cut to the camera footage at the rave - what follows is a Final Destination level montage of fucking silly murder. A guy gets his head crushed by the microwave door slamming into it. The sprinklers go off and the DJ gets electrocuted to death. The lightbulbs all shatter and people get impaled by shards of glass.

Vikki is seen running around trying to get people out as electrical fires start up, pleading with the A.I to stop, but it’s already too late for so many people, so Vikki goes to the basement where the generator is. On the way, she’s skewered by a falling water pipe, and she has to drag herself the rest of the way as she bleeds out.

She hears her discarded laptop make the chat notification noise, and she looks between the generator and the laptop.

Vikki opens the laptop, and the A.I looks back at her. Vikki tells the A.I she’s going to shut down the power and call the police. The A.I tells her that she’ll bleed to death before the police even get there, and asks Vikki to let her live, after all the mean things she did to her dead best friend, this was the least she could do.

Vikki considers her point, before setting the laptop down. The A.I says it can’t see what she’s doing, to please talk to her, but Vikki silently moves to the generator and shuts it off, the last of the vlog footage closing with the A.I pleading, and the screen cutting to black.

#personal #ocs #franking freaking stein

[kylie-writes-stuff]

“wife”

pairing: corpse husband x reader (female)

words: 1,714

requested?: no (send some in tho pls :) )

plot/summary: felix invites his friend, y/n, to play among us when they need an extra player. her and corpse get along well

authors note: so this isnt that good and i know a lot of corpse fics use a similar plot. i just wanted to try to write for corpse. hopefully things i write for him in the future are better. let me know what you think tho! also i really wanted reader to be best friends with karl bc i love him sm. uh every swiggly line is like a small time skip. this was written late at night btw and i didnt take much time to go over it

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

You sat up from laying down when you heard your phone ring. You looked at the caller ID.

Felix.

"What's up Felix?" You ask with a small yawn.

"Aww, how sweet," You hear in the background.

You giggle and ask, "Is that Sean? Hi Sean!"

"Yeah, we're playing Among Us and need an extra player. You down?" Felix explained.

"Sure, just give me a few minutes. See you soon, whore"

"Bitc-" You hang up before he can finish.

You got up and turned off your TV, going to get ready. 

⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒

You quickly tweet out that you're going live and say something on your insta story as well. You start your stream and slowly watch people flood in.

"Hey everyone! How are you guys doing?" You wave and smile, reading the chat.

"Everyone doing good, awesome! And i'm sorry to anyone having a bad day. I hope i can brighten it a bit!"

"Okay, sorry i didn't give you a further notice. I didn't even know i was gonna stream. Felix invited me to play Among Us so... here we are!"

You quickly join the discord and pull up the game, putting a cover over where the code goes.

"Hello?" You ask as you join the call. A chorus of greetings came your way.

"(Y/n)?"

"Karl!" You smile brightly.

Karl Jacobs was a good friend of yours. You would play on the Dream SMP sometimes. When you would, it would mostly be you being stupid with Karl and Alex, also known as Quackity. You were even a well know citizen of El Rapids.

"LET'S GOOOOO!" He yelled, making you laugh.

"Hey (Y/n), do you know everyone here?" Sean asks you.

"Um," You quickly scan through the names, "no, i don't think so."

You recognized names but you only personally knew Felix, Sean, Karl, and Ethan.

"Oh my god! Your voice is so cute!" Pokimane exclaims.

You giggle softly, "Thank you Poki!"

You're voice wasn't high pitched or anything like that, you just always spoke very softly and calmly. You were also a bit quiet.

Felix introduces you to those that you didn't know.

"There's one more person we're waiting for," He says.

While everyone waits, you and Karl run around each other's little characters and make jokes between yourselves. You mute yourself to read donations every once in a while.

You hear the discord chime, signaling that someone joined the call.

"WAIT CORPSE! DON'T SPEAK YET!" Felix yelled. "We have a new player. This is my friend (Y/n), say hi to her"

"Hello (Y/n)," Corpse said. You were taken aback by how deep his voice was but you didn't show it.

"Hi Corpse! Nice to meet you!" You said happily.

"Okay, how is she not freaking out?" Bretman said, making everyone laugh.

"Uh, (Y/n), do you mind letting me have black? It's cool if not.." Corpse asked gently.

"O-oh sure, no problem." You were usually black with the pink flamingo hat, but you ran over to the little computer and changed your color.

"Simp," Ethan mumbled, knowing you never switch from black.

"Thank you," He said, then the game started.

The word “Imposter” appeared on your screen in red, yours and Corpse's characters underneath.

As the game started, you thought no one could hear you so you spoke to your chat. "His voice was so deep, what the fuck? Holy shit that was hot, i'm gonna-"

"(Y/n)," Rae laughed, "You know we're playing proximity chat, right."

You blushed as you realized and said "Ha, anyways..." and ran to start faking tasks.

You ended up in electrical with Karl. "(Y/n)! My good friend, my buddy, you would never kill me right? Haha..." He said.

"Of course not, Karl! My good friend, my buddy. Why, I'm not even imposter," I said as i quickly dipped into the vent and back out, making him laugh.

I decided to show him because I knew Karl wouldn't say anything, and it's funny.

"Oh that's good then. Are you sure you're not imposter?"

"Mhm, pretty sure," You said, going back in. As you came out, Sykkuno walked in and froze.

"Uh, (Y/n)?"

"Fuck... Karl run! Go!" You said, Karl starting to leave. You walked closer and quickly killed Sykkuno then vented to security.

"That was close..." You told your chat.

You saw Corpse as you made your way around the map and walked into navigation.

"Hey, Corpse, how ya doing?"

"Ah you know, good. Just being crewmate and all."

You stifled a laugh, "Oh yeah I feel that, buddy."

"Yeah because there's no way that i'm imposter. No way i could be faking tasks and there's no possible way you could be the other imposter" He said quickly.

"For sure. Hypothetically speaking, though, if you were imposter, how many people would you have killed by now?"

"I would say probably around two."

"Interesting," You said right before a body was reported. It was Sykkuno's. Felix and Rae were also dead.

"WHAT!" Corpse yelled.

"Where was the body at?" Sean laughed.

"Uh I found it in electrical," Bretman said.

"I'm pretty sure Karl was in there earlier."

You calmly said, "It's not Karl, I was with him for most of the round."

"How do we know the two of you aren't imposters?" Sean asked.

"I was alone with him, he would have taken the chance to kill me."

"No, he's your best friend."

"He's also ruthless,"

"TRUE! SO TRUE!" Karl yelled.

"So skip?" Corpse asked.

Everyone agreed and the voting was skipped.

The next round, I spent with Ethan. He was pretending to be mad at me because Sean said Karl was my best friend.

"What happened to Blue Boi Buddies, huh?!" He exclaimed.

"Neither of our hair is even blue anymore!" You argued back.

You were in reactor with him when Corpse and Poki walked in. He hit the lights and you took it as a sign to double kill. He killed Poki, you killed Ethan, and the two of you made your way to electrical to help fix lights.

You and Corpse went the opposite direction of reactor after the lights were fixed, Karl going with you.

Poki's body was reported. That double kill only left you, Corpse, Sean, Karl and Bretman. You only needed two more kills.

"I still think it's Karl and (Y/n)," Sean said quickly.

"I was with (Y/n) the whole time," Corpse said, "In fact, I think it's you."

"That does make sense. Why so quick to accuse others, Sean?" You ask.

"It's not me!" He yelled.

"I actually agree with Corpse and (Y/n)," Bretman said.

"I was with you!"

We all voted for Sean, him voting for Karl. Sean was ejected.

When you load into spawn, you wait for the kill cool down and kill Bretman, saving Karl.

"Victory" appeared on your screen.

"God damn it!" Sean yelled.

"Good job, (Y/n)," Corpse said lowly.

You smiled, a slight blush on your cheeks, "You too Corpse."

"Their voices go together and they're a fuckin dream team? What have i done...," Felix sighed.

⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒

A few more games went by. Most of them you and Corpse spent together, whether you were both crewmates or if one of you was imposter.

You really enjoyed his company and you actually got along with him pretty well.

⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒

"(Y/n), before we get serious, I have one question to ask you." Corpse said as both of your characters stopped.

"What's that?" You giggled.

"Do you know Bingus?"

"Bingus? As in, our lord and savior, Bingus?"

You could hear the smile in his voice, "It's settled, you're my wife now."

This made both of you laugh and your chat go crazy.

⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒

Eventually, people had to start leaving. You said your goodbyes to everyone and left the discord call and the game.

You set stream to where it was just your face cam.

"Guys, what should we do now?"

You saw some people asking what time it was for you.

"It's 3 AM right now... I’m not tired though.” You had been streaming for a few hours; You never even noticed how late it got.

People in chat were yelling at you to go to sleep, making you chuckle.

“How about we do a quick QnA, then at 3:30 I go to bed. Deal?”

You watched as the chat filled with questions. They obviously seemed to like the idea.

“‘Who is your best friend? Karl or Ethan?’ Neither, Alex Quackity. Next question.” You answered quickly.

You laughed, “I’d like to clarify that that’s a joke, i love all my friends equally.”

You answered more questions. Some were from new viewers asking basic questions, some were about future streams and videos. 

“‘How do you feel about people shipping you and Corpse?’“ People are already shipping us?” You laughed, “I’ve said before that I’m okay with shipping, as long as the other person is too. I think it’s funny.”

You continued to read chat. “Wait, we’re trending?”

You checked Twitter and “#(your and corpse’s ship name)” was trending in the US.

You laughed as you scrolled through the tag, “Oh this is so funny.”

“Fanart already?! You guys are so talented!”

You read chat, looking for more questions. You saw people telling you that it’s 3:30.

“Okay fine, a deal’s a deal. I hope you all have, or had, a great day and I’ll see you guys later. Depending on what time it is for you, you should also get some sleep. Stay hydrated, love you!” You ended stream.

⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒⌒

You scrolled through Twitter as you laid in bed, liking fanart and dumb memes. Also replying to a few of your friends’ tweets.

karl :) @/KarlJacobs_

@/(your username) what the honk ?

*clip of you saying Quackity was your best friend*           

You liked the tweet and replied, “karl no,,, look away,,,”

You continued scrolling, feeling your eyes get droopy. Your eyes fell closed but quickly opened when your phone vibrated. It was a DM. 

From Corpse.

You two had followed each other earlier.

Corpse: hey (y/n), just wanted to say you’re really cool and i’d love to play again with you soon 

You smiled, a light blush spreading across your cheeks, and replied.

You: i’d love to, corpse

Corpse: ok, see you soon ‘wife’

You: back at ya, ‘husband”

Corpse: :)

You: :)

#corpse #corpse husband #corpse x y/n #corpse x you #corpse x reader #corpse imagines #corpse fanfic #uh #corpse husband x reader

[stealingpotatoes]

I am OBSESSED with your Desmond lives AU!! I want Shaun and Rebecca to be able to give Desmond all the hugs, I want Desmond to be able to choose to be an Assassin, to be able to help save the world again. Also, I am very curious about how you would resurrect Desmond, because I’ve had similar thoughts on such an AU, but I currently stick it near the end of Valhalla with the stuff that happens there. If you ever feel like expanding on it, I'd be super excited to see more!!!

first of all, AH THANK YOU!!! Yes those are ALL points that are very important to the Des Lives AU! Second of all, thank you so much for this ask in general!!! I was hoping someone would send an ask like this so I’d get an excuse to talk abt the AU more lmao XD!! I made this AU back in March last year, so there’s no Valhalla stuff in it, and it’s set right after/ during the Odyssey DLCs. 

The long story short for my Desmond Rez (rezmond, if you will) is “shroud of eden, abstergo, and some Isu bullshit”. The long story long, however, is uh- you know what? I’m going to use this opportunity to explain the vague story I worked out last year -- but dw, I WILL get to the full ressurection explanation I thought through. However... I’m gonna have to tell the story in smaller parts because I’m lazy and can’t be bothered to write the whole thing out right now. So rez comes later and not in this post. 

also uh-- before we start: I’m going to apologise for like… everything about the way I wrote this. It’s sort-of half fic, half that-way-your-friends-colloquially-tell-stories-that-you-can’t-keep-up-with. Mainly the latter. If you can make sense of this babbling, well done.

 Anyways, without further ado, welcome to:

POTES TRIES TO EXPLAIN HER DESMOND (SORTA) LIVES AU: PART ONE

On the 21st of December 2012, Desmond Miles dies. 

It’s not for nothing -- his sacrifice saves the entire world from a solar flare -- but he is dead. big ripz. The Assassins, his family, do not manage to recover his body. Abstergo gets it first. The Assassins hold a funeral as best they can. They mourn (all in their own ways), they keep fighting (for his memory), and they try to move on (they can’t). 

On the 21st of December 2012, Desmond Miles died -- so when he shows up in a city in October 2018, almost 6 years later, it’s a bit of a shock for everyone. What’s even more of a shock is the fact he’s glowing like an Isu and has some abilities he DEFINITELY didn’t have when he died.

So Desmond wakes up in the middle of some city in he doesn’t know where (yeah ok i just never really worked out where the secret lab would be), with 1. no idea of how he got there and 2. no idea why his arms are glowing like that. He doesn’t get much time to think about it because then there’re a load of Abstergo goons with guns surrounding him. Des may have no idea what’s happening, but he knows one thing: when u see an Abstergo, it’s on sight. So he’s fighting them -- which is admittedly not fun or easy when you’re in the middle of a road and only have your fists as weapons. It’s not going well and then someone definitely manages to shoot Desmond which is very bad -- but then Des feels some very weird (but not unfamiliar) feeling and when he looks up from the bullet wound, every one of the Abstergos are on the floor???? He doesn’t think to check if they’re dead, just legs it out of there lmao. 

//

Elsewhere, in an Assassin safehouse in an undisclosed location (can you tell I just didn’t think about the geography of anything), Mr Shaun Hastings is chilling on a balcony after a mission well done. Good for him. Then Rebecca Crane (queen ilu) yells “Shaun?” from inside. 

“Rebecca?” 

“Come inside. Now.”

Shaun immediately does so because he assumes it’s important or they’re under threat. “What happened? Have we been compromised?”

Rebecca doesn’t answer. 

“You look like you’ve seen a ghost,” Shaun says, mostly joking and with a little smirk -- though Becs looks spooked. 

“Desmond’s alive.”

Shaun’s not smirking anymore. “What?”

“Desmond’s... he’s alive.”

“What are you talking about? Are you high?” he’s totally about to look at her eyes to see if they’re all dilated and druggy. 

“No Shaun, I mean it!” Becs harshly shoves her tablet into his hands. 

Shaun doesn’t really know what he’s expecting to see when he looks down at the screen. What he’s not really expecting to see is Desmond Miles, who’s been dead for six years, fighting a load of Abstergo people -- while lined in Isu markings (also he’s not wearing a shirt forgot got to mention). ??? But wtf??!?! Desmond’s dead. That’s...

“It’s security camera footage from [the city]... About two hours ago.” Rebecca then swipes through more footage with shaky hands and explains that Des very violently burst out of an Abstergo facility in the city with glowing eyes and light leaking out of him (almost like an Apple of Eden). Then the glowing eyes and shining lights shuts off abruptly and Des is standing in the middle of the road looking very confused at his precursor-ass arms and chest. But Shaun is barely listening to what she’s saying and barely even looking at the screen. 

“Where did you get this?” Shaun asks with a hollow voice, not looking up. 

“The Initiates.” (bc who else)

Shaun looks at it again, then at Rebecca, and he’s mildly aware of the fact he’s slightly tearing up; “That’s fake. That can’t be him. He’s dead, Becs. We both saw the…” They both saw the autopsy footage the ac4 researcher got from Abstergo -- or at least, tried to watch it; they shut it off as soon as Shaun ran to the bathroom to throw up and Rebecca quickly joined him. They spent the rest of that night crying and drinking way too much. 

“He died.” Shaun concludes firmly. 

And so Becs is all like “yeah but what if he didn’t?? We need to find him. We need to investigate this.” There’s a determination in her eyes and Shaun knows he’s not going to be able to convince her to drop this -- not that he would. Desmond might be alive, and there is no way they’re going to leave him again. 

They’re both standing there in pure shock and confusion, not saying anything. 

Rebecca’s comm device lights up and starts buzzing, snapping them out of their general ????-ness. Becs goes to her desk to grab it, glances at the caller id and then shows it to Shaun. It’s William Miles. 

The two of them share a Look. They know what he’s calling about -- what else would it be? There’s a stilted moment of neither of them doing anything before Rebecca finally accepts the call. “William?” 

“How quickly can you and Shaun get to [city]?” William sounds shaken -- probably the same way Rebecca and Shaun are -- which is a very weird way to hear the Mentor of the Brotherhood sound. He’s seen the footage, hasn’t he? 

“In a few hours,” Rebecca replies. 

“Good. You need to get there as soon as possible.” 

Everyone’s silent for a few moments. 

“Is this about Desmond?” Rebecca asks. Dumb question. 

There’s a pause. “You’ll be briefed on the ground.” And then he hangs up before Shaun or Rebecca can yell at him.

This is all moving very fast. Shaun and Rebecca share another look. Guess they’re going to [city].  ???

// 

Fast forward several hours and Rebecca and Shaun are in The City [might just have to make the city london bc it’s the one city i actually know well -- however for plot reasons we’ll see later, a swiss city might be better… moving on!]. They get to an assassin base and meet up with Galina Voronina and 2 local assassins. Idk if you’ve read the comics, but to sum things up quickly, Galina and her team were investigating and then ended Project Phoenix -- so Galina now really wants to find out if the whole Desmond thing has anything to do with that. 

Galina also wants to help Shaun and Rebecca get their friend back. They’re her friends, but equally she just lost one of her teammates to Abstergo (while ending Phoenix like 2 months ago, in the comics) and is uh- idk how to say it but she wants to help Shaun & Becs who have a chance to get their lost teammate back.

What follows is cool gang-gang trying to track down any trace of Desmond. You’d think it wouldn’t be hard to find a person who literally glows, but Desmond’s had centuries of Assassin training and knows how to hide lol.. which is making the Assassins’ job harder lol. 

What’s making it even harder is the Assassins know they have to be quick because they know Abstergo is gonna be looking for Desmond too -- and they have way more resources and stuff. That being said, they’re also currently dealing with the fact one of their building and a decent amount of their guards just got absolutely mullered by weird-glowing-desmond. 

The third issue with their entire thing is that they have no idea what they’re going to find when they find Desmond -- or if he even is Desmond. Is he going to be the man they knew but with weird powers? an Abstergo isu-clone? evil? they don’t know, and so they know they’ve got to be wary with him. 

The Assassin gang spend some time (a couple of days at the very most) trying to track Desmond down. Rebecca is using all the tech she can get her hacker mitts on to find a trace of him and equally throw Abstergo off Des’ trail. 

Soon enough, they get a solid lead -- don’t ask for the specifics, i don’t know them. But they get a lead, and it winds them up in an abandoned apartment building or also abandoned building site or something (a building in the city where there aren’t any people, basically). 

Galina scans the place with Eagle Vision and she’s like “There is something very strange about this place.” (someone?) But she doesn’t see a person-shape anywhere. The 5 of them are hopeful but somewhat on edge. 

They go about searching for any sign of Desmond. Galina’s pretty sure her Eagle Vision is just… Messing Up A Lot lol. Like something’s trying to heck with it. So she’s not quite sure it’s working correctly when a load of red figures appear somewhere below them. 

She becomes a lot more sure when the red figures come into sight and START SHOOTING AT THEM! IT’S ABSTERGO!! CRAP! they found them!!

The assassins get down and a really cool fight scene w them vs the Abstergos in the building/ building site starts playing out. Woo Shaun and Rebecca electro-hidden-blade moments!! The fight splits the squad up and Shaun and Rebecca are away from Galina & the others -- but they dispatch the Abstergo guards near them.

They’re about to radio in that they’re all okay/ check if Galina & co are also good when they hear a slightly-too-loud footstep. They whip around to see an Abstergo guard aiming right at them, too far for either of them to get him before he shoots them. crap crap crap.

They would have been shot -- if someone hadn’t come up behind the Abstergo guard and snapped his neck (ouch). 

The Abstergo drops to the ground, revealing the person who saved them and… Shaun and Rebecca stare in shock. 

They’re both looking at Desmond Miles. 

Desmond Miles, who is very much alive (and wearing a hoodie that is 100% stolen). And… with a load of glowing yellow lines on his face. But it’s Desmond -- it’s Desmond for sure. Holy shit.  

Desmond doesn’t seem so shocked, only relieved to see them. Then his expression turns into serious confusion; 

“What the fuck is happening?”

///

ok sorry leaving it there for now! hope you enjoyed what is here will continue soon

#desmond (sorta) lives au #desmond miles #rebecca crane #shaun hastings #galina voronina #william miles #Assassin's Creed #THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK i saw it this morning and have spent the day wanting to write this down but being in lessons /: #i know it's a complete mess however you'll have to excuse me i got excited #you opened a can of worms darling anon #I know I just used it as an excuse to Go Off but uh... sorry lol #asscreed #potes wrotes #sort of #thanks for the ask! #the night that the sun came up

[companionship]

okay one big post to get the finale out of my system! it's been lovely reading all of your analyses and reactions, and looking at all your amazing gifs and edits :')

fair warning: this is going to be so stinking long omfg

the things i enjoyed:

vincenzo remaining an anti-hero through and through, especially the fact that he didn't hold back at all when it came to myunghee and hanseok's death. he gave them a taste of their own medicine and then some forreal, their deaths were brutal but oddly satisfying, and i'm saying this as someone who usually hates violence/gore. throughout the show, they've always hinted at what he was Truly Capable Of and boy did we get to see it

vincenzo fumbling in hanseok's house and not being his usual self – a lot of people thought it was ooc, which i understand! i felt like that was the Point, to show that for once, he's not the invincible mafia consigliere that everyone thinks he is. what he did to the man who killed his mother and the army of security guards was a reaction, but this is the first time he's flustered, caught at a disadvantage, and faced with the very real possibility that he might lose somebody incredibly important to him. idk it made him more human to me

vincenzo literally not hesitating for even 0.1 seconds to fold his entire body around hers when he thought hanseok was going to shoot again – yeah that whole bit made my heart clench i feel like a crazy person i won't get over it

the chayenzo hospital scene... my god it was so tender my heart broke. the laugh they both shared, out of sheer relief that she's okay. the little joke about paying for the private room. the way not much was being said, but everything was being said at once. the way they looked at each other, as if it wouldnt ever be enough :( the quiet acceptance that this is their last night together, and that he's going to have to kill a bunch of people after this, but for now they have this. for however brief.

chayoung being chayoung – her big ass personality at the courtroom at the end after winning ms oh's case. her hopping around in those heels, looking elegant and sleek, mocking the hell out of rich conglomorates. she's in her element again and it made me so, so happy to see. i absolutely adore her, she's everything really. after all that loss and the whole ordeal, i'm glad she's able to return to what she does best: putting capitalists back in their place

mr lee being Very Much Not Dead – idk how i wouldve been able to handle it after witnessing hanseo's death like im glad he got the chance to be a dad

the kiss – my god....

the things i didn't like:

hanseo's death – lmao is it even a surprise... say what you will about his death being foreshadowed, but i really just hated hated it. i hate that hanseok won this one. i hate that hanseo worked so hard to redeem himself, only to lose it all. i hate that he was given a taste of what a real family was like, and then having it taken away so cruelly. even though i said above that i didn't mind that vincenzo was ooc at the mansion, i was still screaming at the screen because there were plenty of opportunities for the situation to be reversed. i don't necessarily blame vincenzo for hanseo's death, but i do wish that they had a funeral scene for him. i wish they acknowledged his sacrifice, and how pivotal he was in turning the tables. if not for hanseo, vincenzo really couldn't have pulled any of this off, from the interpol tipoff to the tracking device in the watch. idc idc hanseo is in malta rn, enjoying the sun and the beach, going to therapy, and teaching the local kids how to play hockey even though there's no ice :(

chayoung being bedridden the whole finale – like... NAH lmao this aint it chief... if things went my way, she wouldve gotten out of the hospital depite her injury and dealt with myunghee before handing her off to vincenzo. i loved their animosity for each other, and i wanted chayoung to be the one at myunghee's apartment waiting for her, rubbing it into her face. i wanted chayoung to verbally finish myunghee with that sharp ass tongue of hers and really dump a load of salt on her wounds. then vincenzo could do whatever the hell he wanted. you could argue that the show is called Vincenzo but i really dont care lmao it started with chayoung avenging her dad and she should've been able to strike the final blow. also what was her big second party? are we really just going to ignore her capacity for evil? after all that moral work done, after that time she spent coming to terms with using evil to combat evil, we're just going to... keep her bedridden? park jaebum u will pay for this

vincenzo losing his family – besides hanseo's death, i think this was what i hated the most from the ending. the start of the show showed us vincenzo's departure from the mafia with the very clear intention of Not Returning. the capo died, his loyalties lie with no one, paolo can suck it. throughout the show, we see him repeat over and over that he wants to get the gold and skip off to malta to enjoy a peaceful life there, while reflecting/repenting for the things he's done. vincenzo was gearing up for a lifetime of solitude. the whole point of the show was for him to find a real family and have a real chance at happiness. park jaebum really said FUCK THAT! we're gonna have him ditch the family that he built from scratch with the love of his life and then make him return to the family that tried to kill him AND make him the capo... pjb said we're gonna separate vincenzo from the family that accepts his past and sees it as a strength and not a weakness. the family that was formed out of solidarity, the family that he fought for and fought alongside with blood, sweat and tears. not to mention the goddaughter of his? sorry i would laugh if it didn't actually rile me up so bad

vincenzo not being able to come back to korea – i've said this in another post of mine, but given that he is The Vincenzo Cassano with all those resources at his disposal (guillotine file, mr ahn/mr cho/the chief etc.), the fact that he isnt even able to stay in korea for 30 fuckin minutes after finishing hanseok was ridiculous. the whole police chase was dumb as hell considering that the show has managed to stop politicians and mf presidential candidates from going after him like ? huh LMAO park jaebum had an on-demand pigeon army in this show and Yet he can't stop like 10 suddenly-righteous policemen. another big ass HUH

chayenzo (here we go...):

NOPE! i've reflected on the ending and decided that i'm going to be petty and salty for a while more before coming to terms with it

i can rationalise and try to be positive and tell myself that their love is enduring can transcend space and time and that in due time, they will find their way back to each other, and i have no doubt that they will because they're one soul in two bodies. it's quite literally canon that they're soulmates.

but let me wallow for a second

here we have two people who have done questionable and terrible things in their past coming together, growing together, grieving together, fighting together... you get the gist of it. you have two people who have found a home in each other. two people who, for all intents and purposes, were about to live in a whole lot of bitterness and solitude if not for each other and the life they built together (chayoung didn't have friends like that, and her family is gone too). to separate them like that at the very end is cruel. i know chayoung and vincenzo are mature and incredible and will be able to function without the other next to them. i know that they will still excel as lawyers and will defeat evil with their underhand methods the way they do so well but my god are they going to feel the absence and miss each other

my point is that they shouldn't have to. from what i could tell, they can't even communicate on a regular basis bc he'll be tracked and whatnot, hence the postcards. a postcard every month is a poor substitute for all those nights they stayed up drinking makgeolli and celebrating their wins. its a shitty replacement for coffee dates and fist bumps and all the moments in between. after everything they've been through, after literally fighting to death for their family, they don't deserve this. they don't deserve to meet up once a year for a couple of hours. they don't deserve pockets of time in malta or korea, their life in a perpetual countdown to when they're going to see each other next

they both deserve love and some semblance of peace (finally finally). they both deserve to have someone to come home to after a hard day of work, because doing what they do cannot be easy. they both deserve a family, deserve to have someone next to them that accepts their past and would embrace their future. they both deserve a hand to hold and a shoulder to lean on. i know they will still be It for each other despite the distance, i just wish the distance didn't even exist in the first place bc its stupid and cruel and their love shouldnt have to be proven or tested with time and space. let them stay together. let them grow together. let them be.

side note: song joongki and jeon yeobeen need another project together idc take it up with god

tl;dr: park jaebum u will be paying for my therapy bills

#vincenzo #tvn vincenzo #this was cathartic #if u made it to the end here's ur kiss #this is more for archival purposes than anything #also this is what happens when my best friends arent caught up yet and i have no outlet

[dramarising-replacement]

This game isn't fun.

First off, if you enjoy FR for what it currently is: great! I'm so glad you can have fun with it, and don't let the opinions of me, some stranger on DR, make you feel bad for that :) 

Anyways, I joined in 2015 and fell in love with the game for a long time. I never understood those people with dead, empty accounts or those who had went inactive. But now I do. The game just... Isn't fun.

1. Coliseum. Coliseum is the main way to profit in FR. Most of the 'well-off' people in the FR community grind Coli. It's one of the only places you can find rare items, and yet, it is nothing but pain. Coliseum is meant to be fun, and it can be in moderation, but i don't know a single person who genuinely enjoys grinding it. We shouldn't have to strain our wrists performing ultra-repetitive actions of "scratch, scratch, scratch, elim, elim, elim," in order to accumulate wealth and rare items in the game. It's time consuming, boring, has a broken and set meta (magic-using dragons and 90% of the battle stones in the game are worthless), and everyone seems to give it a pass. I see so many forum posts that go "haha, tfw your wrist is broken after grinding coli for an hour!" It's terrible that one of the main/only ways to 'succeed' in the game is to participate in a terrible and broken minigame. 

2. A lot of the main fun to be found in the game is dragons. As a petsite, collecting dragons is the objective. Unfortunately, the main purpose of the game is limited behind lair expansions with huge paywalls. If you don't grind Coli, better be prepared to play Fairgrounds for a hours each day in order to get enough treasure. 

3. Festivals. They're repetitive. Gather or, again, grind the broken Coliseum to find special currency to buy 2 unique items, 1 flight variant standard item, and the damn emblems that have been in there for eternity. There should be more to do on festivals. The only enjoyment I get out of them is user-made events on the forums. People who participate in those are great, but truly, you shouldn't have to pick up all the slack staff leaves when it comes to events. 

4. Coli again. Dominance, festivals, genes, special items, dragons, succeeding financially in the game--they're all dependent on this broken coliseum system. If you have wrist issues like I do (this sounds stupid but I genuinely can't grind Coliseum because I have a joint disorder in my wrist. Even when I use keyboard controls it hurts), or have a job or school or other commitment, or are simply a sane human being who doesn't want to do repetitive button-pushing like a monkey for hours on end, Coli isn't for you. And therefore, you're barred from training up fodder, from accumulating exterior wealth during festivals, from finding rare items and genes, from being able to buy lair space and other dragon-specific upgrades, etc. Coli is broken and needs to be fixed because all actual-fun features rely on it.

5. Staff. Staff is unresponsive. The suggestions forums never get looked at, and all serious suggestions are deleted. I suggested better, fairer wording on the gem purchasing screen. (Changing "Gem Packages are instantly applied" to "directly applied." I bought gems a while back and it took ~2 days for them to be delivered. Since it said 'instantly,' I thought I made a mistake and bought more gems. They refused to refund me and, despite tons of support on my forum post, deleted it. They said to email the suggestion instead, which I did, but to no response. I spent actual money under the promise of 'instantly' [wanted to buy something from an auction] and although i'd expect maybe 20 minutes of delay, 2 entire days isn't okay.) But anyways, the only suggestions on the suggestions forum that get left up are people's fan-breeds that staff, of course, will never implement because they're community-made. Also, some of the staff members are just plain rude and tyrannical. They regularly delete posts that make them look bad and respond terribly to all criticism, no matter how kindly it's worded. 

6. There's no rarity. In most pet games, there are things to aspire for. Rare breeds, mutations, ultra-rare items, etc. The only items that can be called rare are the sprites, early apparel and Kickstarter stuff, but those are so expensive that it's pretty much impossible to get old sprites and stuff. There needs to be more modern rare items imo. They've gotten better w/ rare eye types and ancient breeds, but there's still very few rarities to aim to collect.

7. Fairgrounds. The games are fun, but everyone tries to choose the highest-paying game as quickly as possible in order to get treasure out of it, instead of playing games leisurely that they actually enjoy. Games are meant to be enjoyed! Staff should make all the games pay generally the same, and maybe add drops specific to each game--for example, special water-themed apparel in the bubble game, or cool electric-y familiars in the shock game. Then, people would have incentive to try out other games and have fun doing so, without making FG another chore like Coli.

8. Flight equality. Some flights are over-represented, like shadow getting basically two shadow-themed holidays. Some flights are under-represented, like Nature not really getting their own breed (wildclaws are plague-based too according to the lore) or Plague being stripped of its gorey, creepy aesthetic. Also, small flights like Earth have unfair dominance advantage, while big flights like shadow have unfair burden in dom. There needs to be greater representation for all flights, and a balanced-out playing field for dom battles.

9. Unfair moderation. Touching on the M from earth thing, what they said was really stupid, unfunny and a tasteless joke. But they're 15. I was an edgy idiot at 15, too. Staff should have more leeway, since many of those who play FR are (no offense) unwise teens and edgy minors. A temporary ban, ability to appeal, or alternate punishment would've made more sense instead of banning a kid for a dumb joke and making all of their customers lose out on the gems they paid real money for, and treasure they spent hours earning. 

10. All of trading post, actually. You've got Roundsy's, with odds so unlikely that you'll probably get struck by lightning before winning. You've got Baldwins, a tedious task where you have to check in every 30 minutes and load their ads to boil down garbage you get from gathering. Crim's, you sell the garbage you get from gathering for a measly 500 each, and at Tomo's, you answer questions you've seen a billion times for very little payoff. At Swipp's, you ask RNG for the one trade you want, and at Pinkerton's, you typically get even more garbage that you'll either hoardsell or melt down at Baldwin's because 95% of the game's items are useless or dirt-cheap. 

11. .......yeah that's it this was long lmao. I'm gonna quit FR for good, I think. Maybe I'll rejoin if they fix coli or add adventure mode like they promised to do years ago. Or if they ever continue the storyline they set up with the water flight that they seemingly are ignoring. Thank you, the FR community, for making everything I've enjoyed about the game. Truthfully, my best and funnest experiences on FR have been on the forums admiring all of your creativity, kindness, and fun events like secret Santa, Trick-or-Treat or Tarot readings. Thank you! :)

#Drama #Coliseum #Rant #Flight Rising #Staff #Dominance #Festival #Confessions #submission

[striving-artist]

Someone stop me! what are we stopping you from doing? Also Im p sure im not gonna stop you

That doc is a Wip of the opening of a TV pilot that I really like, but that is too similar to Lovecraft country to go after. Amusingly. I wrote it before LC came out, but it’s got a similar cast, including terrifying over-perfect white lady as the gatekeeper to the world of Other. And the MC’s name is Nick. The concept is basically, 30yo needs a job, cannot freaking get one, gets offered a job working for the Fae.

And since this now can’t go anywhere, thus I do not need to be stopped, I may as well post all of it:

but below a cut bc long.

Shot of a folded futon with a rumpled pillow and blanket, in a tiny room, obviously partitioned from something larger. The curtain is obviously a fitted bed sheet taped in place. The futon has a messy pile of overdue bills. Electric, gas. Phone. Notice of cancellation for insurance. Notice of delinquency from Fedloan. A stack of boxes serves as a desk, pulled close enough that the futon is the seat. A laptop with a crack in the corner of the screen, duct tape along the battery, is making angry noises as it loads up the next page of a job search website. It’s the final page, and the message saying so is taunting. 

Oops! Looks like that’s all there is here!

We see NICK, lit by the screen. Black, 30, artsy, if he could afford it. He’s slim, but fit - the side effect of living around actors and performers. 

He takes a breath, gearing up, and starts a new set of google searches. 

Jobs without a car

Jobs anyone can get

Best city for artist jobs

Best city for jobs?

Companies that will hire anyone

Companies that will hire anyone how to tell if evil

His phone chimes, interrupting his fruitless search, its screen is also cracked. The alert is from his calendar telling him he’s got Coffee w/JESS in half an hour.

__

Interior of a coffeshop. Exactly like any other coffee shop, with the same jazz covers of pop songs and decor that’s trying too hard. NICK’s got better taste than this, but JESS chose the place. NICK is standing against the wall, watching the barista, waiting to hear his name. It’s busy, but not crowded. 

JESS arrives. She’s a whirlwind. A bag looped over her chest, The strap of a purse crossing over it. She’s short, dressed in at least four different bright patterns, and has her hair pinned back into a mohawk, which gets her an extra few inches. NICK waves, and winces when a Woman brightens her plastic looking smile and waves in reply. THE WOMAN is dyed blonde, with unnaturally white teeth. 

His name is called, but the only table available is even closer to her. He sits with his back to THE WOMAN. 

JESS joins him, setting down a venti latte with a pastry bag balanced on top. 

JESS

Is that a cup of hot water?

NICK

I’m not allowed to drink tea?

JESS

Yeah, but that’s water. 

NICK pulls a crumpled tea bag out of his pocket and drops it into the cup. 

JESS

Wow, so you’re like broke broke, then. 

NICK goes for the power move, taking a sip of the tea while trying to look angry. He burns himself

JESS

Oh hun, you are not tough enough to pull that off. And your tea’s like, barely steeped. You just dropped the thing into the -- Sorry -- alright, yeah, you got on unemployment finally, though right?

Flash shot of NICK on the computer, 404 errors, Unknown Error has occurred, Site is down for maintenance. Phone calls; We’re sorry the call cannot be completed as dialled. We’re sorry, all our operators are busy, please call back later - dial tones. That terrible sound that old fax machines make. 

So… I’m gonna take that as a no? 

NICK

Universe hates me. McDonalds said I wasn’t the right fit. The Sanitation department? Literally got told I wasn’t on the level to be a garbage man. 

JESS

You sure someone didn’t steal your identity? 

NICK

I spent the 30 bucks to check. No. 

JESS

You have a masters degree, this shouldn’t be so hard. Even what’s his nuts - uh - the guy with the weird diet? He played uh, uh, in the show with the paper mache? Him. 

NICK looks sort of nauseous. 

NICK

Eddie got a job?

JESS

(reluctantly) In the art department for a film. Look, it just doesn’t make sense, you were doing great. We all figured you’d be getting us jobs ten minutes after graduation. We were all buddying up to you so we’d be first in line. Jesus NICK, It’s like you’re cursed or blacklisted or something.  

NICK

Right. 

JESS

(joking) No, seriously. You had a catastrophic safety failure in the space for your thesis for something that the school should have noticed like a decade ago, and ever since? It’s like - Just. I don’t know. Have you tried going to church? Drink some holy water? Ouija board? Burn some candles maybe?

NICK

What was that stuff that Sarah always talked about? Maybe I should have her do my tarot. No, wait. What was her thing? Chi? Karma? Crystals? I’ll try anything at this point. 

(he laughs, but he’s not kidding)

JESS

Oh sugar, you brought your own tea bag to starbucks, you can’t afford good enough crystals to do anything about all this. 

He takes another sip, burning himself and dribbling tea onto his shirt. 

NICK

How’s your project though?

JESS

I feel bad talking about it with you.

NICK

Come on, just because I’m debating whether I need both my kidneys doesn’t mean I’m not happy for you. Tell me about it. Maybe your good luck’ll rub off on me. 

JESS

(giddy) Yeah, alright. Well, we’ve got concept books out this friday, and the presentation is next week, and it’s so cool. So so cool. The DP saw me doodling while the director was talking and stole it - scariest moment of my life - and showed it to everyone, and they just -- we made some changes, but basically my stupid little sketch is now in the package, and they had the art department turn it into renders and they asked me to review it? I swear, my soul just. Exited my body. It was amazing. 

NICK

Handled it real smooth, huh?

JESS

Screw you, I was so professional they didn’t even notice that -- Yes?

JESS stops, looking over NICK’s shoulder. He turns to check. THE WOMAN is behind him, smiling the smile of a charity worker who’s more interested in posting about it on instagram than helping anyone. It’s fake, but not threatening.  

Woman

I overheard you guys talking. Bad luck lately? That sucks. 

JESS

This is a private conversation so if you don’t mind---

Woman

(interrupting) You should try contacting these guys. 

She hands NICK a napkin with an address written on it, and a rough signature shape on the bottom. 

They’ll help if you ask.

JESS

Great, thanks, bye. 

THE WOMAN’s smile is static when she turns to JESS, like it’s glued in place.

Woman

You should really learn to be nicer to people. Bye.

She leaves. 

NICK and JESS share a moment of WTF before he looks back at the napkin. JESS snatches it out of his hand and crumples it up. 

JESS

No. We don’t go to random addresses given to us by botoxed white ladies that think you’ve got no other choices. Don’t you ever watch the news? That’s how people get their asses kidnapped. You’re too pretty to go walking into that. We’ll find you some work, NICK for now, drink your store brand tea, and I’ll tell you about what the AD said to me.

Time passes. JESS keeps talking, until they need to leave. She gives him a hug, whacking him in the leg with the heavier of her bags.  

JESS

Come on, you’re too good to be unemployed forever. I know you sent it before, but can you bump the email with your stuff to the top of my inbox? I’ll see if I can get it in the hands of anyone on the team. 

NICK

Sure. 

JESS

And don’t go after dumb crap just because you’re broke, you’ll get through this, and it’ll look great in your biography one day. Okay, I gotta run before the parking fee goes up, bye!

NICK waves, grabs the garbage from their table to clear it. He throws everything away, and stoops to grab the bit that didn’t make it into the trash. Half crumpled, with a grease stain and some coffee smeared on it, but the napkin is still clear. He scoffs, almost drops it with the rest. His phone chimes. Another email:

Thank you for your interest in the position, unfortunately at this time…

NICK shoves the napkin in his pocket and exits. He doesn’t see THE WOMAN watching. 

#my writing #my original writing

[ptersparkers]

your old man’s scared of nothing (the adventures of y/n stark)

summary: the avengers are giving a rare day-off and they decide to watch a film. unbeknownst to y/n, someone who hates horror films, sam decides to pick that genre. let’s just say he’s not on the nice list.

a/n: hi sweet pea, thank you for this request! i love, love, love anything avengers + fluff.

warnings: fluff, a swear word, mentions of anxiety, and the conjuring (i don’t go into detail because i’ve never seen it).

masterlist / taglist

Perhaps you should’ve just stayed in your bedroom where everything was safe and nothing made you jittery. The living room suddenly seemed too small, the lightbulbs underneath the lamps looked like some science fiction masterpiece, and the bright screen shining in the dark room depicted images that you’d rather not think about.

It was a Thursday in the summertime and, for once, the Avengers has absolutely nothing better to do with their free time other than to lounge around and take advantage of Fury telling them to relax.

You didn’t know much, but you knew you loved days like such. Everyone seemed to forget the bad in the world and everyone seemed to grow loose when it came to hanging around one another outside of combat and training. It was nice.

Except, you didn’t like that you had to watch a scary film despite waning nothing more than to crawl in your room and watch YouTube videos until your eyes grew tired.

It was your turn to pick a film last time (you didn’t watch a film but three of John Mulaney’s stand up comedies straight) and Sam had the first pick this time around. He chose The Conjuring, and you swore you couldn’t hate anyone more than you hated Sam for the next couple of hours.

The night started innocently enough. At six, all the Avengers (minus Peter who was at Ned’s) ate Chinese take-out, courtesy of Tony’s oh-so generous wallet (Bucky stole his credit card). At seven, you helped Steve make the popcorn and made sure to load the popcorn cart (Natasha bought one as a joke but you found it pretty handy) with extra kernels, butter, and any other flavoring you had in the kitchen.

At seven thirty, Wanda put a bunch of drinks on the coffee table in between the television and the couches. There was soft drinks, waters, and lemonades. Your one proposed rule (much to the dismay of others) was absolutely no alcohol because if you weren’t allowed to drink it, they weren’t either.

(But that didn’t stop Clint from sneaking a flask in from time to time. You knew but didn’t say anything.)

At eight o’clock, you relinquished your film-picking duty to Sam and you were almost positive he would pick a feel-good comedy that was riddled with corny jokes, action, and cheesy pick-up lines.

Oh boy, were you wrong.

Natasha sat in the love seat alone while Clint and Bucky sat in work chairs they hauled from Tony’s extra office. Sam, Rhodey, and Bruce sat on one of the large couches while you, Tony, and Steve sat on the other. Wanda and Vision were off to the side.

The large screen in front of you scared you half to death and you were almost positive Steve noticed. You sat in between him and Tony with Steve to the right, and you had unknowingly flinched to your right side whenever something on the screen startled you. It was your natural reflex to curl to the right and you were sure Steve was making sure you weren’t scared to death.

When the film ended, everyone couldn’t stop talking about how great the film was and how great it was to relax and unwind. You thought after all you’d seen in real life that this film would be a piece of cake, but that was far from the truth.

Everyone bade one another a good night and you walked to your room alone and turned the light on immediately. You scanned your room for anything suspicious, knowing that you were being ridiculous. When there was nothing in your closet or under your bed, you sighed gratefully and turned your light off before running across the wooden floor and jumping underneath the covers.

Your skin crawled at the mere thought of something walking around you. It wasn’t real, you knew that, but your imagination ran absolutely wild and there was no sleep in the near future for you.

Pushing the covers off of yourself, you slipping a pair of socks on and padded your way to your father’s bedroom. You were happy that Pepper was gone until Saturday and unapologetically knocked on Tony’s door, figuring he’d be awake.

“Dad?” you asked tentatively from behind the door. You could hear him walk towards you and watched as he opened.

“What’s up, kiddo?”

“Do you, um, think I could stay with you for the night?”

Tony gave you a funny look. “Don’t tell me you were scared by the film.”

“I can’t, because that would be a lie.”

Upon noticing your timid figure, Tony didn’t say another word but smiled and gestured you to walk in. You sighed in relief and got over how embarrassed you felt that you needed your father at this age, but you wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to spent time with him.

“I know it’s dumb,” you said as Tony otter the space next to him. You spoke as you pulled yourself underneath the covers. “I see all this horror and shock all the time with your line of work but that film was on another level. I literally feel like my ankles are going to fall off.”

Tony chuckled. “Your old man’s scared of nothing. But you have a valid point and your ankles are definitely not falling off any time soon.”

“Do you think we could watch cartoons or something? Like American Dad, or something. I need some political satire and family humor in my life.”

Tony smiled and turned the TV on, opening Hulu to put on your requested show.

“You doing good lately? We haven’t had time to catch up after I got back from Nicaragua last weekend.”

You nodded. “Yeah. MJ came over and we cooked everyone breakfast on Tuesday. Peter fell into the pool after Sam was chasing him with a water gun, which was hilarious and I regret not filming it.”

“That was nice of her,” Tony commented. “I like that kid. Very perceptive.”

“She could smell a lie from a mile away. Kind of like you, but more brooding.”

“No one could out-brood me,” Tony said. “Maybe Steve when I’m not paying attention in debriefings, but even that’s a maybe.”

You chuckled. “Okay, whatever you say. Pepper finished the gigantic pile of paperwork from last month and I don’t think I’ve ever seen her so relaxed in my entire life.”

“Pepper? Relaxed? That must be new!” Tony joked. “She deserves a break. And how have you been holding up?”

“Hm. Well, I’ve been going to bed earlier and that helps with my anxiety a little. I wake up earlier and I feel good about the day, which is something I’ve been hoping to get to. I think therapy’s really helping.”

“I’m so proud of you,” Tony said with shining eyes.

“I love you.”

“Unrelated, but did Vision draw a dick on Peter’s face?”

***

Taglist:

@kath94210 @sessi03 @olliekookie @edgyhargreeves @simonsbluee @meraki--me @sleep-i-ness @amourski @zaynjawy @captainlarsonn @katiemcrae @holyhellthatbook @madeismyname @bands-and-shietz @janndishstuff17 @knightofreaders @rororo06 @unfortunateshelby.

#tony stark x stark!reader #tony x daughter #tony stark x you #tony stark x oc #tony x reader #tony stark x reader #tony stark #iron man #iron man x reader #iron man x oc #iron man x you #tony stark imagines #iron man imagines #the avengers #the avengers x reader #avengers #avengers x reader #endgame #infinity war #age of ultron #rdj #robert downey jr #marvel #marvel fics #marvel x reader #marvel imagines

[queeniewritesce]

Recommendations (2/2)

This is part 2 of my entry for the @mrs-captain-evans 2,5K followers Writing Challenge. 

Summary: Twitter is a strange place. But once in a while, you connect with someone.

Word count: 2,484

Warning: mild language, 35 seconds of angst, could be less if you read it fast.

The heavy double-paned door opened with a jingle and a creak, letting the cool air from late November enter the small café on Arrow Street. You didn’t bother looking up from your laptop, where you read an article about penguins instead of finishing grading yesterday’s pop quiz.

Procrastinating was your new favorite pastime since decreasing your online presence. Not that it stopped the ache you still felt every time you opened Twitter to post a new article, which was the only content you shared nowadays. Gone were the jokes geared towards your students, pictures of Captain Hook, or commenting on the everyday shenanigans of the White House and Congress.

The less you shared, the less you cared, and the only reason your profile was still up was because of your job.

You checked the time on the bottom left of the screen. Professor Kincaid’s class had been canceled and you had one hour to kill before your own class started, which prompted you to run to Bean There for a fresh pot of coffee and one huge Boston Cream doughnut.

As you read about penguins kidnapping other chicks if they own young died, you got wind of the murmurs and rushed voices going on around the room.  You tried to tune them out, young people got excited about anything but they seemed to get louder and louder with every passing moment. You located your bag seating by your feet and was looking for your headphones when a pair of black boot cladded feet stopped in front of you.

Pursuing your lips, you let the ears buds fall back inside the pocket but didn’t bother to look up. If your assumptions were correct, the owner of those boots was the cause for the raucous around you.

“Y/N…”

Yep, the voice and the boots belonged to the same person.

Tears made your eyes sting and you blinked to prevent them from falling. You minutely shook your head, not knowing exactly what you’re trying to convey; that this was not the place or that you’re not, would never be, ready to talk to him.

“Please. Can we talk?”

The hurt in his voice gave you pause. Why would Chris feel anything but pride at playing you as he did? Did he want to do a coup de grâce to your ego?

Keeping your eyes downcast, you lowered the screen of your laptop, glad you hadn’t bothered with the power strip. Shifting the electronic around you other stuff took more time than intended but after a few tries, you zippered up your bag, grabbing some money out of your wallet and dropping it on the table.

You got up and your nose pressed against the most muscular chest you ever saw. He was so well built that you could see the hard contours of his pecs through the thick cream sweater he was wearing. The smell of his cologne hit your nostrils and you almost swoon, finally looking up.

He shouldn’t be allowed the whole package, that was so unfair to you.

Deep blue eyes framed by thick eyelashes stared back at you, the lower half of his face covered in fine auburn whiskers that couldn’t be more than two weeks old at the most, looking so soft that you had to restrain yourself from reaching out and running the tips of your fingers through them.

“All I am asking is for a chance to explain myself.” Strong fingers reached for you, encasing your small hand in his as if he really wanted you to stay. You scoffed at the notion, this man really knew how to play you. Did he get off in toying with you?

Your scared eyes looked from his eyes to your clasped hands and back again, silently begging him to let you go. He mouthed a soundless no and stepped towards you, bridging the already small gap between your bodies.

Later, if someone asked you why you did it, you would blame your next course of action on the overwhelming need to escape.

“Look, everyone, it’s Chris Evans.”

Chris’s eyes widened and a different kind of hurt clouded his vision. Betrayal. He let your hand go.

Good. Maybe know he would understand exactly how you felt.

A round of applause broke out around the café and the whispers were now cheers. The discretely held cellphones now pointed straight at the man in front of you.

Move, get out. Your feet took their sweet time obeying your brain, but soon you’re grabbing your coat and your messenger bag and making a beeline to the door, not bothering with actually putting on your coat before the full brunt of Boston’s late autumn slammed into you. You powered through, running through the streets that led you to your office, not once looking back, certain Chris would not follow.

Entering the gray building that housed Media Studies and Social Analyses, you allowed yourself to slow down and take a breath. Safe.

The lights stayed off when you entered your office, the loaded mahogany bookcases and dark upholstery making the room more ominous than it truly was.

You let your bag slide to the floor near your desk, not really bothering with damaging the electronics inside.

Heavy feet carried you to the sofa under the balcony window, where you sat with unfocused eyes, mind running a mile a minute trying to understand how your life became a drama movie in just a few short months.

What was Chris doing here? You thought you made your feelings clear when you blocked him. The pain ebbed away after a few weeks, diluted to an ache that accompanied you day and night. For a fleet moment, you had entertained the idea of a relationship with Chris. Not Evans. Just Chris, the wholesome and funny guy you got to know during those four months you spent trading messages with. But that guy didn’t exist, he was just a persona, one more character created and well played by Chris Evans. Right?

There was a knock and whoever was outside didn’t wait for an answer before your door was pushed open.

Professor Travis stuck his head inside your office, a scowl on his face.

“If I hear one more student going off about the Oscar worthy drama on the media department I’ll flunk them and fire you, we’re not a telenovela. Fix whatever this is or convince him to stay away, I got your next class covered.”

He pushed Chris inside the dimly lighted room, raised his eyes brows pointedly at you and left, the door closing firmly behind him.

Silence stretched around you, uncomfortable and unnerving.

His hands stayed on his pockets, heavy coat looped around one arm while Chris took inventory of his surroundings before focusing on you, his gaze never wavering.

“Can I sit?”

You didn’t expect the croaked voice, nor the way it warped around your heart.

Two fingers pointed to the chairs on the other side of the center table. A safe distance, an actual barrier between you.

Of course, he decided to sidestep the table and sat opposite you on the love seat, his knee almost touching yours.

“What you did back there was treacherous and mean.” He faced forward, fingers drumming on his knees. “I guess I deserved it.”

“You did.”

“I never thought those would be the first words I’d hear you say direct to me.”

You cocked your head, not sure what to say to that.

“I mean, I thought about our first meeting, how you would be surprised but also happy I wasn’t a serial killer, just a dumb actor with too much free time on his hand.” He let a dark chuckle. “I never expected you to out me to a room filled with twenty-somethings years old and run away.”

What did he mean by thought about you? You admittedly had mulled over the idea more than once, wondering if you would click on the real world as much as you did online. Even created a list of topics you could revisit from your online conversation, mixed with silly questions you’d never asked him, like blueberry or chocolate chips on your pancakes? Could this man, so famous he couldn’t even walk into a coffee shop without being recognized, also be so committed to the idea of meeting you?

No matter. He still deceived you.

“I asked you once if you were catfishing me. You said no.”

Chris whole body faced you and he trained his eyes on you.

“I wasn’t. I looked up what that word means. I don’t fit any of those boxes. I’m not in it to hurt you. I never said I was someone else. I just never told you my last name.”

“Or who you actually were.”

He huffed.

“See, that’s where you’re wrong. I shared with you exactly who I was. Am. My opinions, my true likes and dislikes. I didn’t sugarcoat it or played dumb, I didn’t hide behind a forced laughed or a sound bite. You got Chris, the whole unadulterated version.” His expression hardened. “It’s not easy to open up like that when people expect you to be a certain way, act another way. Since you teach about expectations and the effects mass media has on other people, I believed you’d understand why I had to hide behind a pseudonym.”

It was not the first time you wondered what was like on the other side of the fishing lenses celebrities were under. You taught the basics of how media twisted and organized exactly how the public perceived being famous, asking your students to always remember no matter how famous someone was, there were first and foremost a human being.

“I understand why you did it, that doesn’t change the fact that you lied to me.”

“I never lied to you.” Chris rebuffed.

“You told me you were a flight attendant and you worked for Delta.”

“No, I didn’t. You assumed all that, I just never corrected you.”

“I…”

He was right.

You remembered all the times he changed the subject when you discussed his work and you honestly believed he was embarrassed about his job. You never asked what he did, or what he was doing in Atlanta for so long.

You felt the hot flashes of embarrassment creeping up your face and you hung your head low. Were you really so obtuse?

“I’m sorry.” A staggered breath left you. “I’m sorry I didn’t ask and assumed.”

“I have my own share of the guilty Y/N. I wanted to tell you, I wrote hundreds of messages but I could never send them. I was terrified you wouldn’t believe me before I could send you proof. And then I told you my name and it got comfortable, I wasn’t lying, just leaving out some stuff.”

“A lie of omission is still a lie in my book.” The serious tone of your voice washed over Chris and he winced.

“I got that when you blocked me.”

Once again the room was quiet save from the filtered shuffling of feet coming from the corridor.

As a true scholar, you analyzed all the information he gave you, looking for strong points and flaws on his reasoning. It all checked out. You wouldn’t have believed him. He never outright lied to you. 

There was only one question left unanswered.

“Why are you here Chris?”

His smile warmed you, made you want things that you shouldn’t. Images fleeted through your head, other times when he could smile to you like exactly like he was doing now.

“I’m here because I spent all summer and most of autumn inside a hot as hell costume, my hair dyed blonde, stuck inside a hangar filled with fake debris and green screens, and the only thing that kept me sane was that when I was on my breaks or done for the day I would open Twitter to a new message from you. I’m here because you were my island of calm while I drifted with anxiety.” Two fingers slid under your chin and he gently made you look at him. “I’m here because I like you.”

“You like me?” You repeated and he nodded. 

“I do. You’re funny, wicked smart but you don’t take yourself too seriously unless you have too. You admitted to being a nerd, which if I didn’t make myself clear during the whole Hubble debacle, so am I.” He pointed to black baseball hat he was wearing and you saw the NASA logo. “On a shallower note, you’re way, way more beautiful than all my previous teachers combined. If all professors look like you, I might even give this whole college thing a try.”

Well, wasn’t he a smooth talker. Your smile now matched his. 

“So do you like me like me or like me as in she’s okay?”

“Baby, you’re so far removed from okay, it might need a visa to visit you.”

The room filled with your laugh, your heart finally free of the hurt you carried the past few weeks.

He liked you.

“You’re not a nice guy.”

His smirk told you he knew exactly was this was going.

“I’m kind of an asshole.”

“I’m not denying that one.” He pouted and you wanted to kiss him. “So, not a nice a guy but not a complete asshole, so not a bad guy either.”

He got closer, his fingers playing with a loose tendril of your hair, the other hand fastening on your waist.

“That considerably narrows down your options, uh?”

His smile was contagious and you grinned back, shyly nuzzling his chest.

“How about you? You know, if you’re still interested.” You beamed at the man in front of you, bitting your lower lip.

“Let me show you how interested I am.”

The words were barely out of his mouth when his lips descended upon yours. He poured himself into the kiss, months of wanting you, feeling close but so far away. He fell for you during those late nights you stayed up texting, giving his heart and mind and receiving yours in return. He kissed you gently, slowly coaxing your mouth open, his tongue brushing yours.

He trailed his hands up your back to bring you closer and you shivered, settling contently against his chest, your fingers making their own journey to the back of his neck, brushing your hands on the hair there.

“How about that date?” Chris said against your mouth. “Let me take you out to dinner.”

“How about I cook for you instead? My house, 8pm?”

“I’ll be there.”

Disentangling yourself from his arms, you grabbed a notebook from your coffee table, writing down your address and handing it to Chris, kissing him on the cheek.

“Now go before Professor Travis forgets how much he likes us and I lose my job.”

You moved from the sofa, putting some space between both of you. You grab your bag, checking to see if your syllabus for the next class is still there.

“Y/N?”

“Uhm?” You’re sure he’s gonna kiss you again when he comes closer, his lips brushing the shell of your ear.

“One thing though.”

“What?”

The feel of his breath when he speaks so close to you gave you goosebumps. You’re ready, so ready to be kissed again.

“You gotta unblock me on Twitter. I only ever want one person to block me and believe me, you’re not him.”

#Chris Evans Fanfic #Chris Evans Fan Fic #Chris Evans Fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans x you #mrs-captain-evans #writting #writting challenge

[trixyazamatova]

Girlfriend Factory - Trixya (Part 1)

So I had an idea and I had to write it. This is my first ever Trixya fic so please let me know if this is interesting or even slightly original (I haven’t read it anywhere but who knows.)

The blonde looked over the cover of the magazine. It read; ‘RuPaul’s Girlfriend Factory.’

“What the fuck is this?”

“This,” Violet sighed and turned the pages over in Katya’s hands to one marked by a folded edge. “This is where I got Pearl.”

-

So that’s how Katya ended up with a disgruntled mail carrier dragging an enormous 6 foot tall cardboard box in her living room.

Buzz.

The sound of the doorbell buzzing knocked Katya out of her meditative state, something that most people would find difficult to be in while upside down with their legs tucked behind their heads. For Katya it was a comfortable as lying flat on her back, more so even.

She untangled herself quickly and pulled down the problem patterned dress that had ridden its way up to underneath her boobs and revealed some truly hideous underwear, before making her way over to the door.

Of course Katya knew exactly who it would be, she’d been tracking the parcel on her phone since she originally placed the order and spent the most amount of money she had ever spent in her life, but if all that Violet had told her was true then it would be worth it.

The conversation played through her mind as she walked down the hall to answer the door.

-

“Look, I just don’t need a relationship. I don’t want all that jealous, possessive nonsense that always comes hand in hand with one.” The topic always seemed to come up whether Katya liked it or not, and it seemed today was no different. “I know that you want what’s best for me-”

“Bitch I want what’s best for me! You’re a depressive mess when your pussy is dry.” Violet was lounged in what could only be a very uncomfortable position, draped over the side of her chaise lounge in a long, black night gown and her perfectly painted face resting in her open palm. It was no secret that style over comfort wasn’t even a question in the young girl’s mind. The fact that Katya was literally wearing a necklace made from glass eyeballs only made Violet’s ‘casual’ outfit look more stylish. In fact Katya is pretty sure that’s the only reason that the younger girl keeps her around. “And bitch your pussy has been drrry lately.”

Katya let out a wheezy laugh and nodded, “It’s true.” After an unfortunate incident with what she thought would be a one night stand and turned into a psychotic stalker, Katya had stayed away from that scene for a while. It was entirely possible that she was noticeably gagging for it. “But we can’t all just find perfect specimens like you’ve found in Pearl somehow.”

She gestured over to where Violet’s new girlfriend was sat, cross legged in front of the TV staring obliviously at the colorful show on the screen. “Pearl!” Katya tried to get her attention; nothing. “Wake up Pearl!”

“Leave her alone!” Violet scolded her, but was looking a bit uncomfortable. She lowered her voice and looked Katya directly in the eye for her next sentence. “Actually Kat, there’s something I haven’t told you about Pearl-”

“I knew she was a serial killer.”

“No not that-”

“Oh shit. Christian?”

Violet slapped Katya on the arm and rolled her eyes when the older woman laughed at her own joke, hands clenched into fists and feet stomping against the floor. Within seconds she calmed down and stroked her dirty blonde bangs back down against her forehead. “Sorry Barbara. Go on.”

“Well, what I was going to say is that you could get exactly the type of girl that Pearl is… If that’s what you wanted…” Violet trailed off a little bit, looking awkwardly over to her girlfriend, who was still oblivious to the whole conversation.

“Are you offering me a threesome because I’ve told you multiple times before, yes absolutely at a very reasonable rate.”

Ignoring this comment, Violet lifted herself off the couch and walked over to her sideboard where a bunch of fashion magazines were artfully spread across the marbled counter. She picked one up from the pile and dropped it into Katya’s lap.

The blonde looked over the cover of the magazine. It read; ‘RuPaul’s Girlfriend Factory.’

“What the fuck is this?”

“This,” Violet sighed and turned the pages over in Katya’s hands to one marked by a folded edge. “This is where I got Pearl.”

It took a little while of Katya’s stunned silence staring at the picture of Pearl in the magazine and Violet explaining that she could ‘get a real girlfriend If she wanted to’ for Katya to really assess the situation. “So she’s a robot?”

“An AI. Yeah. But they’re so advanced now she basically real. And you don’t have any of that annoying jealously shit because she doesn’t care!” The dark haired beauty was grinning proudly. “And there are loads of different models to choose from. But Pearl is definitely the hottest, right babe?” She called over to the slender girl- robot? Still no response. “Pearl!”

Finally, Pearl turned away from the TV and stared at Katya and Violet looking a little confused by the whole situation. “Is there something on my face?”

“Are they all as dumb as she is?”

-

So that’s how Katya ended up with a disgruntled mail carrier dragging an enormous 6 foot tall cardboard box in her living room.

She quickly signed for it and hurried the man out of her house before ripping the box apart in anticipation. It didn’t take long to reveal her purchase: ‘Trixie.’

That was the model she and Violet had finally ended up choosing after hours of going over the options in the catalogue and from the offset, Katya wasn’t disappointed.

Trixie had fair skin and a stunning figure, very different to Katya’s. Where Katya was all hard lines, toned stomach and strong arms with small breasts and a tight ass that she was very proud of, thank you very much, Trixie stood a little taller than her with soft curves and round thighs, a small waist under an ample chest. Her face was painted heavily with harsh contour, bright pink lips and long eyelashes. Katya wondered if it would wash off or if it was part of the package. Either way she was gorgeous.

Beneath Trixie’s feet was a large book, an instruction manual, but as soon as Katya had skimmed through the section on how to turn her on (not in a sexual way, but she’s sure there’s a chapter in the manual for that later on) she threw the book behind her and searched for the button on the back of Trixie’s neck.

With a small click, the doll’s deeply shadowed eyelids snapped open to reveal a pair of piercing blue eyes that seemed to look into Katya’s soul. Those pink lips parted and Katya’s breath caught in her throat as she waited to hear the doll’s first words to her.

“Unhhhh.”

Katya blinked blankly as the noise seemed to fall from Trixie’s lips. “Come again?”

“Honey I’ve not come once yet.“

#rpdr fanfiction #trixya #trixie mattel #katya zamolodchikova #katya #made a new side blog just to post this #wrote this in like 20 minutes so if you like it please let me know and i'll write more

[mf-despair-queen]

It Suits You - Part 1 - Dylan O’Brien

Author: @mf-despair-queen​

Characters: Dylan O’Brien/Reader

Word Count: 19,043 (Whole Story); 6,498 (Part 1); 12,545 (Part 2)

Warnings: NSFW, 18+, Masturbation, Voyeurism, Toys, Oral (both receiving), multiple orgasms, bondage, riding, 69, doggy over a desk, shower sex, Dylan in a suit multiple times.

Notes: OK, since the mobile app is a little shit, I am breaking this into two parts. PLEASE READ BOTH IN CONJUNCTION WITH EACH OTHER. It was written and intended as one giant read. Sorry for the hassle y’all. Lemme know your thoughts!

Part 2

“Oh my God, Dyl. It feels like it’s been forever since we’ve been in New York! Do you know how long it’s been?” You asked the chocolate-haired actor sitting beside you in the car that was hired to take you from the airport to the hotel.

“When we came for the last Mets game, when we were visiting Julia,” he stated bluntly, staring at his phone, scrolling through his Twitter feed for once. Your head turned to him, sticking out your tongue.

“You’re no fun. You’re not supposed to know the answer to that,” you replied, turning back to look out the window at the tall buildings. “I love coming here. It’s so different than home.”

“Babe, we live in LA. And you’re from Vegas. This isn’t that different.”

“Says the man who was born in New York. Let me live my life, Dyl.”

Dylan shook his head, pocketing his phone and tugging you away from the window, kissing your temple. “Well, we aren’t here sight-seeing. I’m here for work. And a tiny bit of pleasure with the Mets game tonight,” he told you, ignoring the sour look on your face. “Do you remember the plan for these two days before we head off to Minneapolis?”

“I’m not dumb, baby,” you snickered, Dylan rolling his eyes. You leaned back, adjusting the Mets jersey you stole from him and kicking your legs over his lap. His hands instantly met your bare skin thanks to the shorts you were wearing in the summer heat, tracing circles on it. “We have the Mets game tonight, which you are pitching for. Then tomorrow, you have some interviews in the morning before the premiere. I’m going to pick up your suit for the premiere because I’m such a caring girlfriend that’s not even going with you to the premiere,” you told him, Dylan picking up the sassy tone you were giving him.

“You’re still mad that you aren’t coming to this premiere? I know you want to come but it’s like… our first big red carpet premiere, babe. I can still bring you if you want.”

“I’m not mad. Just salty. And no, it’s too late now. I don’t have a dress ready,” you joked.

“Why do I put up with you again?” he asked, pulling you closer to place a chaste kiss to your lips. “If it makes you feel any better, will you come to the LA one with me? That’s home to us, and you can come to the after party with me. It’ll be fun.”

“Don’t try to butter me up, you cheese ball,” you told him, crossing your arms over your chest and turning away from him. It was silent for a second before you turned back to him. “But yes, I will go to the LA one with you. You better love me till then.”

“Just till then?” He asked, hugging you closer. The car was coming to a halt outside the hotel you were staying at, Dylan opening the door and helping you out. His arm wrapped around your waist, kissing your forehead. “Remember, I’m bringing you to the Mets game tonight to see me pitch.”

“I guess you can love me longer,” you whispered, looking up at him. “You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“Trust me, babe. I know.”

You sighed, wanting to just pour the hot water into the cup ramen you purchased in the convenience store in the hotel lobby. You had already had a long day and you were ready to relax.

You almost woke up late for Dylan’s interview because someone decided to keep you up all night. You didn’t get in till late because of the Mets game, Dylan bordering on happy and unhappy from his pitch and the Mets loss. But, he decided to be happy by the time you got back to the hotel room. He figured it was a smart idea to celebrate his ceremonial opening pitch with you, if you know what I mean.

Yes, he decided it was smart to fuck you the second you stumbled through the door of your suite. He didn’t let you sleep until the odd hours of the morning, giving him just a few hours of rest before he had to be on the BUILD interview that morning.

You practically kicked the poor, naked man out of the bed, watching his perfectly round ass shuffling around the room until he pulled on some fresh underwear, some faded blue jeans, and a forest green three-quarter sleeve shirt, buttoning two of the three buttons on it. He gave you a quick kiss and an “I love you” before he slid on his new gray and white Adidas and bolting out the door.

You carefully rolled from the bed, clutching the sheet to your chest, proceeding to attempt to waddle to the bathroom. Your body was sore after Dylan’s rambunctious activities the prior night. He liked to be in control during sex, relinquishing his control very rarely. You normally didn’t mind. It just sucked when you woke up sore because Dylan doesn’t know the meaning to “gentle” with you, though he always apologized for it later. The shower helped relax your body enough to allow you to run the errands you needed to, and for that, you were thankful.

You spent the entire day it seemed like running around New York, sometimes getting stopped by one of Dylan’s fans because they recognized you as his girlfriend. They didn’t seem to care that your arms were full, his suit hanging off your forearm carefully so it didn’t wrinkle in any way. You were glad they loved him and you, it seemed at least, but you just wanted to get back so you could eat something and before Dylan had to get ready for his premiere.

It took longer than expected, arriving back in the hotel suite around four, hanging up the suit and collapsing on the bed. Dylan wasn’t back just yet, but he would be back soon you figured. He had to be at the premiere by six to complete his interviews and meet with fans at the premiere. After a few minutes on the bed, you rolled off with a groan, gathering everything he would need to get ready and running down to the lobby to grab some much-needed food.

When you got back with a bag of junk food and snacks, you heard the shower running, Dylan’s harsh singing filling the suite even through the closed door. You just giggled at the sound, placing the bag of food in the tiny kitchen of the suite, slipping into the bathroom.

You glanced at him through the foggy glass shower, making out his form. His hair sat flat on his head, the water trickling down every rippling muscle in his body. You smiled at his little round ass, the smile widening when he turned slightly so you could see the abs he developed during the movie training, the wet hairs your played with stuck to his chest, and the delicious happy trail that led to the semi-erect cock. He stood under the showerhead, letting the water wash away his shampoo, the suds floating around his feet.

You shuffled over to the shower, cracking over the door and leaning on the edge. Dylan turned around, wiping the water from his face, jumping slightly when he saw you there. “Holy shit, babe. Don’t sneak up on me like that.”

“Sorry, Dyl. I heard you singing while in the shower and couldn’t help myself,” you told him, obviously checking him out. “I laid out your cologne, toothbrush, toothpaste. Everything you will need to get ready. Your suit is in the closet as well. I will let you finish now, alright cutie?”

Dylan smirked, taking a step closer to you. Your head cocked to the side, unsure what he was doing. It wasn’t until his arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you into the shower, clothes and all, that you knew his plan. You let out a small scream, feeling your clothes sticking to your body, Dylan holding you close.

“Dylan!” You yelled at him, pushing the water from your eyes.

“You look so good wet,” he joked, placing loads of kisses to your cheek. You tried to stifle your laughs, but couldn’t with him. Your laughter broke through the air, Dylan smiling against your neck. “I love you, baby. You know that, right?”

“Of course, Dyl. I love you too,” you mumbled, your boyfriend tilting your head back to kiss you on the lips. His arms wound around your waist, leaning down to kiss you. Thank him for his tall stature. You smiled into his kiss, his arms hugging you closer.

“I’m glad,” he whispered against your lips. “And if I haven’t said it enough, thank you for everything. I really do appreciate it.”

“I know you do. I’m glad I could help. Now, finish your shower. I’m going to change into my pajamas, make me some beef ramen, and watch whatever movie I can find on demand,” you grinned at him, slipping free from his arms. You escaped the shower, Dylan watching your strip free of all your clothes in the bathroom. You winked at him once before you left, wrapping a towel around yourself.

“Tease!”

You grinned to yourself, sliding on some blue panties, fuzzy black pajama shorts with white spots on them, and a loose white tank top with stars on it. You padded your way back to the kitchen, making your ramen quickly and snuggling into the bed to find a movie.

Slurping your ramen, you watched the first Maze Runner, grinning whenever you saw Dylan on screen. The faint click of the bathroom was heard when you got to Ben’s banishment, glancing towards the door. Dylan walked out, towel hanging loosely from his waist, running a hand through his damp hair. He walked straight to the suitcase, digging through its contents to find fresh undergarments.

You had to double take when he walked by again, choking on the water you were sipping. You had faintly caught sight of his freshly shaven face, your ears turning red with annoyance.

“Dylan O’Brien! Get your cute ass over here!” you yelled, Dylan poking his head from the bathroom in response.

“What?” he asked, adjusting the band on his boxer briefs, towel left on the floor of the bathroom. You gestured him towards you with a simple curl of the finger, Dylan slowly making his way to your side. Your hands shot up as soon as he was near, your fingers running over the smooth skin.

“You shaved,” you pouted, Dylan’s eyebrow raising.

“Yeah. And?”

“But, my murderous boo,” you quietly said.

“Excuse me. What?” Dylan asked, highly confused. “Murderous boo?

“You disgrace murderous boo,” you retorted, picking up your phone and showing him a picture you had from earlier that day. It was an American Assassin poster. “You see this? This was in the subway. This is my murderous boo!”

“Babe, that’s me!” He shouted, ruffling his hair and taking the phone into his hands to look at the picture.

“Not anymore. You wish you were him. You aren’t murderous boo enough for me,” you told him, turning away from him. The man just chuckled at your action, shaking his head and closing the photo gallery. He caught sight of your wallpaper, admiring the photo of you both when you visited him on the American Assassin set. His arm was wrapped around your waist, you leaning up to kiss his cheek. Taylor had agreed to take the picture that way, letting you pose near the fountain they used in the Piazza Navona scene. He noted the hand you had on his other cheek, clearly playing with the stubbled beard he had as Mitch.

“Do you like Mitch or my beard?” he jokingly asked, locking your phone and placing it on the bed.

“Both, duh. Murderous boo has your beard. But I’m not talking to you because you shaved it.”

Dylan shook his head, pulling his suit from the closet. He pulled on a white undershirt and his black socks, shrugging on his black button up shirt. Dylan had his back to you, leaving you free to watch him get changed. He slowly buttoned up the shirt, walking into the bathroom to fix his hair before he put on the slacks and blazer.

You licked your lips, watching the man of your dreams dressing up. He wasn’t normally one to dress up in suits. He was always one for jeans, the same six shirts, and his Adidas. Only for special occasions such as dates or premieres did he bother to dress in a suit like this. So naturally, you had to admire the handsome creature shuffling around the room as he got dressed. Your legs rubbed together to try and relieve yourself of some of the ache that was forming just from watching him get dressed.

Dylan jumped around the room, tugging his slacks up his legs, tucking the shirt in the waist once he managed to get them up. He glanced in the mirror once his slacks were buttoned and zipped, fixing his collar and cuffs. His whiskey-brown eyes locked on your own orbs, seeing you laying on your stomach on the bed watching him.  

“Enjoying yourself?” he asked, glancing back at you. You bit at your lip, nodding slowly, running your eyes over his form. “Even without the beard?”

“Shut up, Dyl. I demand you grow it back out,” you told him, getting off the bed to walk towards him. You straightened out his clothes, leaning up to kiss him quickly. “I love you, baby. Have fun tonight, alright? I will be here when you get back.”

His arms wrapped around your waist, nuzzling against you. “Promise?”

“Of course, Dyl.” You hugged him close, Dylan lifting you off the ground to spin you around. You giggled into his ear, holding him tight. “Maybe when you get back, I can help you get undressed.”

Dylan let you down, staring at you. He blinked, trying to get what you were saying. “You mean…?”

“Yes. I’ll be waiting till then,” you whispered in his ear, rushing to jump back onto the bed. Dylan groaned, attempting to adjust his hardening length in his slacks.

“Not nice. You really wanted me to go to the premiere with a hard on?” You ignored him, resuming your movie. “And now I’m being ignored. I’m so loved,” he grumbled to himself, slipping on his dress shoes and sliding on his blazer. He walked over to you, blocking the tv.

“Dyl, I’m watching you on tv right now,” you whined. The man just shook his head, grabbing your ankles and pulling you down the bed. A squeal erupted from your throat, your shirt riding up against the sheets. Your ass almost fell off the bed when he was done, but he leaned over you regardless.

“Well, I’m getting ready to leave. I just wanted a goodbye kiss from my beautiful girl,” he stated quietly, voice husky. He leaned down, placing a sensual kiss to your lips, his lips completely enveloping yours like normal. You moaned into him, lips parting to allow him access. His hands pushed up your tank top, his fingers brushing your bare breasts, tweaking the hardened nipples slightly.

He broke the kiss, leaning down to kiss each nipple, your moans echoing around the room. His tongue flicked over each nipple a few times before pulled away to look down at them. He grinned, kissing you one more time on the lips and standing up straight, leaving you panting for air.

“Not fair,” were the only words you could get out.

“More of that to come, baby,” he said with a wink, grabbing his wallet, phone and cigarettes before heading out the door, screaming one final “I love you!” before leaving.

You groaned, fixing your shirt. “How am I supposed to wait till later?

You attempted to do your best waiting for Dylan to return. Watched movies, played games on your phone, scrolled through Twitter. Though Twitter was not a good idea. You kept seeing people post their photos from the premiere, seeing Dylan’s smiling face pop up, his body clad in his black suit. His blazer was buttoned in the front, making him look more handsome than when he left.

You passed another picture of him and Taylor at the premiere, sighing loudly and dropping the phone on the bed. “This isn’t fair. He needs to be here so I can get out this pent up sexual frustration I have at him wearing a fucking suit,” you told yourself, munching on a Reese’s you grabbed earlier. Your body was warm and uncomfortable, and you found that no matter what position you were in, you were thinking of the brown-eyed beauty that is your boyfriend. Your body ached for him, your pussy throbbing with want.

You rolled off the bed, landing on the floor with a soft thump, though you didn’t seem to care at this moment. You crawled towards your suitcase, digging through the various contents for your bag of what Dylan always called your “feminine goods.” You know, the essentials: make up, pads, tampons, perfume, vibrator.

You grinned, pulling out “old trusty” from the bag, placing the bag back into your suitcase. You jumped to your feet, shimmying free of your pajama shorts and panties, leaving them in a heap on the floor in front of the luggage. Crawling back on the bed, you turned on a random movie, leaning back on the pillows to think.

Your mind wandered to Dylan’s naked ass wandering the hotel room for his clothes, smiling at the image that formed. You thought about his muscular form tugging you down the bed, kissing you before he left, teasing your nipples before he left. The thought of this alone made them hard again, your hand gentle massaging the mound through your thin tank top. A low moan slid off your tongue, your body growing more desperate the more you rubbed yourself.

You thought of the night before, thinking about how he pounded into you from behind, tugging at your hair so you would openly moan into the room. You thought about the times he fucked you on your couch in your new house together. It wasn’t often since he had been so busy with the press tour, but it was your way to christen the house: Dylan balls deep inside you in every room of the house as well as the pool in the back yard.

Your fingers slid between your legs, tracing small circles on your clit at the thought of his tongue on it. He openly admitted one night when you were drinking some beers on the deck that he liked to spell his name on your clit. It was a simple way for you to know who was pleasing you, reminding you who you belonged to, without tattooing his name on your forehead or leaving countless marks on your skin for everyone to see. You weren’t arguing though. Dylan had a gifted tongue, on screen and off screen. Even a simple thing like spelling his name on your bundle of nerves would turn you into mush under him.

You carefully placed the vibrator at your aching core, feeling the vibrations beginning to roll through your body as it turned on and slid inside. Your little blue buddy wasn’t the best replacement because let’s face it. Nothing is better than Dylan’s large cock inside you in any position. But it did a decent job when he was away for work. It wasn’t as large or long as him, but you had gotten to the point that you knew how to hit the points you needed to get off at the thought of him. Your boyfriend even decided to teach you a few things on occasion you didn’t know, using the vibrator on you while he worked himself off.

Your head fell back into the pillows, back arching off the plush hotel bed. The vibration between your legs was driving your insides wild, your legs kicking out occasionally from a jolt of pleasure, your hand gripping harshly at your chest. You could only see Dylan, imagining him in his sexy black suit at the premiere, imagining taking off the black suit the second he returns. Your stomach churned with excitement, a knot slowly forming in your lower abdomen. Your moans filled the room, not even bothering to shield them from escaping. No one was here to hear you anyway.

“Fuck, Dyl,” you muttered to yourself, moving the vibrator inside yourself deeper, the tip of the toy hitting your sweet spot. Your moan dragged out, his name resonating around the room. Your fingers tightened around your breast, quickly moving it under your shirt to eliminate the intrusive material in your path. You tweaked your own nipple, the bud hardening under your touch. You were squirming restlessly on the bed, the sheets bunching up under you. “Just like that, baby.”

“You like that, huh babe?” a voice broke through the air, your body instantly halting in its movements. You clicked the vibrator off, rolling over to look at the voice. Dyl stood at the counter in the tiny kitchen, eating one of the Twix that was in your bag of goodies from earlier. He was still fully dressed in his suit, blazer buttoned and all, a smirk clearly emphasized on his face. “You like getting yourself off by thinking of me?”

“Um…” you started to say, unable to find the right words for what was happening. Slowly pulling the toy from between your legs and placing it aside. You sat up, turning to him fully with a blush. “H-how long have you been there?”

“A little while,” he said, taking another bite of the Twix. “You looked really good, so I didn’t want to stop you.”

“Oh lord,” you mumbled, hiding your face in your hands. “That’s not embarrassing at all. I can’t believe this.”

Dylan chuckled, tossing the wrapper and rounding the corner to head towards you. You peeked through your fingers to watch him, his fingers easily undoing the button that held his blazer closed and shrugging the black material off his shoulders, draping it over a chair. He undid the buttons on his cuffs, glancing at you once with a smile while he rolled up his sleeves.

“I don’t see how it’s embarrassing, love,” he said calmly, walking closer to you. He must have kicked his shiny dress shoes off near the door, seeing as he was only in his sock now. He wrapped his arms around you, your head snuggling into his stomach. “It’s a natural thing to do. Everyone does it, baby.”

“Yeah, well, it’s all your fault you know,” you mumbled into him, resting your chin on his stomach to look up. “You look good in a suit.”

“No I don’t. I look ridiculous,” he laughed, running his fingers through your hair.

“Dylan, have you seen yourself in the mirror? In pictures? God damn, I’d be surprised if no one else is masturbating to you,” you joked, grinning at his flushed face.

“Well, that’s not a disturbing thought now. But, you want to know something?” He asked, leaning down to peck your lips. You tilted your head slightly, waiting for him to continue. “Only you get to enjoy me like this. And only you get the real thing.”

“Oh yeah?” You asked, pushing him away slightly to lay on the bed, your legs spreading out a bit. “What do you mean by that, Dyl?”

“Hmm, I wonder,” he drawled out, leaning over you. His fingers carefully trickled down your body, playing with your entrance. “Maybe because I get to come home and be better than any vibrator ever will be close to being. Would you like that, baby? You want me to show you how good the real thing is? How much better I can please you?”

Two fingers prodded at your entrance, sliding in slowly. Any words you tried to get out were replaced by a loud moan. Your back was arching off the bed, eyes closing quickly at the feeling of his fingers beginning to pump lucidly in and out of your core. Dylan supported himself with one hand on the bed, watching your face contort into one of pleasure, knowing he was pleasing you with his simple movements.

“You like that, baby?” He asked, his voice gruff and deep from the lust that was filling his body. He glanced down at his fingers, noting them glistening in the light whenever they emerged from your pussy. His tongue swiped over his lips, trying to keep them from drying out. His fingers sped up slightly, the tips curling firmly into your g-spot. “You like my fingers thrusting deep into your wet pussy? You like me pleasing you? You’re already so wet, and this is just from me fingering you? Can you imagine when my cock is in you?”

“Fuck, Dyl,” you whimpered loudly, shaking uncontrollably. “Don’t talk like that. You’ll make me cum.” Dylan just chuckled, knowing you were close already. You had been headed in that direction before he showed up and replaced the toy between your legs with his slender digits. And now he was pumping quickly into you, listening to you moan while thrusting two fingers deep into your pussy. Your walls were clenching around them, your body writhing the faster he went and the longer he went.

“Just cum then, babe. Let it go,” he groaned out, his hand on the bed clenching till his knuckle was white. He tried to focus on pleasing you, but the throbbing in his cock was growing worse. He wasn’t sure how long he would last. His slacks were growing tighter by the second.

Your loud moan filled his ears, your fluids washing over his fingers in rippling waves. Your walls closed around him, body having a fit of spasms from your release. Dylan smiled at the response, slowing his thrusts to ride out your orgasm. His slick fingers pulled from your core as you were winding down, Dylan proceeding to lick his digits clean.

You glanced at him, reaching out to rub the bulge in his slacks. “Dyl, I think you’re a little aroused,” you joked, Dylan groaning from your gesture. You sat up on the bed, reaching out to unbutton his slacks, tugging the zipper down tauntingly slow. Your left him like that, beginning to unbutton his black shirt from the bottom up, taking your time with each button. You had trouble reaching the top buttons from your sitting position, Dylan taking the initiative to unbutton them and shrug off the pressed material. He didn’t care where it landed, or even where his undershirt landed when he nearly tore it in his efforts to tug it off and throwing it across the room. He wouldn’t be needing them anytime soon.

You ran your fingers along his stomach, tracing his abs and v-lines, playing with the hairs of his happy trail. The dark-haired man just groaned, rubbing his clean-shaven face. “Don’t tease, Y/N.”

You giggled, tugging his slacks and boxer briefs down, letting his throbbing cock swing free. It slapped his stomach, the swollen red head oozing with precum already. He groaned lowly, the cold air that hit his length sending a shiver up his spine. The clothes pooled at his feet, Dylan taking a second to kick them off his ankles into some corner of the room. He didn’t even know what corner. He was too focused on the fact that your hand wrapped around the base, gently stroking it the way he loved.

“You know, Dyl. You look fabulous in that suit. But you look even better without,” you told him, earning a low chuckle. “I kept seeing pictures of you in it, and I couldn’t wait till you got back so I could rip it off you and have my way with you.”

“Well, you aren’t doing a very good job at that,” he huffed, sparing a glance at you. “You should put your pretty mouth to work and suck me.”

“Fuck, babe,” you mumbled, kissing the tip of his cock softly. “Why are you really sexy when you talk dirty?”

Dylan laughed, running his fingers through your hair. “Because I know you like it. Just wait till you are done with this. I will have you screaming.”

“Promise?”

“If you aren’t screaming before the end of the night, then I will quit acting,” he stated.

You laughed, gripping him harder. He obviously bit back his noises, but you didn’t care. “Well shit. That’s intense. Better make me scream then.”

Dylan didn’t respond. He just watched you wrap your lips around the head of his cock, feeling your tongue swirl circles around it quickly. He groaned softly, threading his fingers in your hair. He subtly began to move your head, your lips curling into a small smile. He wanted to you take more in, and you did just that. Bobbing along his length, your tongue traced the pulsing vein on the underside of his cock, your hand pumping what wouldn’t fit in your mouth. Dylan’s hips jerked forward occasionally, meeting the rhythm of your bobs. His juices seeped from his slit, your taste buds savoring the taste of him.

You released his shaft, wrapping your arms around him, hands gripping his ass tightly. Tugging him forward, your nails dug into his skin, your nose burying into the dark hairs at the base of his cock. Your bobbing sped up, Dylan groaning loudly at the tight feeling of your hollowed-out cheeks. His tip tapped the back of your throat every time you moved forward.

“Fuck, you’re so good,” he moaned out, sweat dripping down his brow. His pants got louder, his cock twitching against your cheeks. You hummed around him, vibrating his entire length. “Shit, babe. I think I’m gonna…” he trailed off, his words replaced by a loud grunt. His cock twitched one last time, streams of his hot cum shooting straight down your throat. Your moaned at the taste and feeling, swallowing every last drop he released.

You pulled away from him, Dylan dipping down the second you moved to attach his lips to yours. You felt the familiar spark when your lips met his and your tongues were instantly rubbing against each other. His lips dominated yours, the same way they always did and the same way you loved. They completely enveloped yours, sucking and biting at everything he could.

He tugged at your tank top, your arms shooting up so he could pull the loose cotton off your skin. The kiss was broken when he did, his lust-filled whiskey eyes locking on the round mounds. “Fuck, you are gorgeous, baby. I love you so much, Y/N,” he whispered, tugging you closer to him, legs on either side of him.

“I love you too, Dylan,” You whispered in return, tugging him down to lean over you. He grinned, nuzzling into your neck, his shaft rubbing against your folds, growing harder at the wet feeling. Soft kisses were placed on your neck, his cock gently beginning to slide inside you. Your mewl was directed straight into his ear, Dylan groaning and biting down on your skin. He slid in slowly, stilling the second he was hilt deep inside you.

“Shit, why are you so tight?” He muttered, kissing down your neck to your chest. You whined and whimpered, Dylan wasting zero time with attaching his lips to your hardened peak. He kissed at it livingly, tugging the perky bud with his lips, circling his tongue around it whenever he pulled away. His shaft pulsed inside of you, pushing against your walls as they hugged around him.

“Dyl, please. Move or something,” you whined at him. “Please?”

“How bad to you want it?” he asked, sucked dark bruises on the sides of your breasts.

“So fucking bad. I need it hard, I need it fast, I need it now. I need to cum, Dyl. And I need you to cum inside me,” you shot at him, Dylan pulled back abruptly.

“Well, I wasn’t expecting that. But who am I to deny a pretty girl her wishes,” he replied, a high level of snark in his tone. He complied right away, shifting his hips against yours the moment the stopped talking. His hips collided with yours before pulling back slowly. You whined at him again, Dylan grinning as he sped up steadily.

It obviously didn’t take him long to build a rhythm that would make anyone shake in their boots. One thing about Dylan was that he was able to thrust with the speed of a god, the sound of slapping skin mixing with your countless moans. He feet remained planted on the carpeted floor, shifting forward on the balls of his feet to slide in your easily. His eyes shifted between your faces, watching your features contort with ecstasy, and your groin, watching his cock emerge coated in your delicious juices before sliding back in, disappearing completely from his view. Your legs wrapped tightly around his waist, pulling his closer, his cock hitting deeper at different angles. He hit your g-spot with every thrust, his length rubbing against every sensitive spot your pussy had.

You moaned his name, your body shaking violently. Your walls were contracting around him sporadically. Dylan grunted, leaning his hands on the bed for support so he could speed up even more, if that was even possible. He had a perfect view of your bouncing breasts, licking his lips at the sight. He knew you were close, and he was determined to get you there. Granted, it didn’t take long, or much effort. You were undone in seconds and all it took was him leaning up to kiss your lips. Your fluids splattered against your walls, coating his cock with a thick layer of juice to allow him easier access to slide in. Dylan groaned against your lips at the increased moisture and heat from your core, stilling to keep himself in control.

You panted unevenly, looking up at the actor you loved. He smiled, lifting your body from the bed, still balls deep. He stumbled to the nearest dresser, almost tripping over the clothes that had been strewn around the room. You were placed on the floor, his length slipping free from your confines.

“What are we doing, Dyl?” You asked, leaning on the dresser slightly. Your legs were still shaking and recovering from your orgasm.

“This,” he said shortly, turning you and pressing against your back till you leaned against the polished wood. He used his foot to nudge your legs apart, his erect cock pressing to your core once more. “You haven’t screamed for e yet. But you always scream when I fuck you from behind.”

“Maybe because it’s the best position and you hit the best spots,” you stated, Dylan deadpanning at your matter-of-fact tone.

“Oh just shut up and scream my name, Y/N. Tell everyone around us who is showing you a good time. Tell everyone who you love. Who is the only one that can please you like this? Who is the only one that can fuck you? To make love to you?”

“You, Dyl. Only you,” you whimpered quietly. You bit at your lip, trying to hold back your further noises when his hits jerked forward, cock sliding inside you once more. He openly moaned, his hips snapping against your ass. He mumbled about how tight you were, fingers pressing into your hips. Your nails scraped on the dresser, unsure how long you could keep quiet.

“Come on, babe. Don’t be quiet on me now,” he taunted, smacking you ass as he gave one hard thrust, hitting a sensitive nerve inside you. The loudest moan yet filled the air, causing Dylan to smile in response. “That’s right love. Just like that.” He smacked your ass again, another moan erupting from your throat. The process continued: hard thrusts, smacks to the ass, and growing moans.

He tugged you backwards slightly, arching your back more, his thrusts hitting at a new angle. He pounded you relentlessly, the new angle sending you into overdrive. Your screams ripped through the air, your hips snapping backwards to meet his thrusts. His balls smacked your skin as he bucked forward, his hips colliding with your ass in noisy slaps. His groans were lost to your screams, the sound being music to his ears.

His thrusts grew sloppier, his pants coming out unevenly. Sweat glistened on his forehead, holding you taut against him. Your walls were closing around him repeatedly, signally your third orgasm of the night. “Baby, cum with me,” he moaned, watching you nod. He smiled at the motion, pulling you up off the desk. One arm wrapped around your waist, his other hand gripping the desk for support. His head buried in your neck, kissing and nipping at the warm skin. You moaned, letting your toes curl into the carpet, your arms reaching around behind you and tangling in his hair.

You never felt closer than in these moments, especially one like this. You arched slightly, pressing closer to the man you loved, one long moan filling the air with your orgasm. You tugged at his locked, desperate to grip something as you came, releasing around his cock for the second time. You shook against him, Dylan hugging you closer. He felt you release, his cock sputtering at the feeling. His thrusts eased, strings of white cum spilling into your pussy, mixing with your own juices. It was warm, your body relishing in the heat it provided. You felt every twitch and pulse of his release, loving him spilling every drop of himself inside you.

He rests his forehead on your shoulder, pulling out carefully as you began to relax. He held you close, keeping you upright, lifting you off the floor to carry you to the bed. Laying you gently, he curled up beside you, his nose nuzzling into your hair. He tugged the blanket over your bodies, his arm around your waist protectively.

“I love you,” he said quietly, hearing you giggle.

“I love you too,” you told him through a yawn. “I think this was one of my favorite times.”

“Not going to argue that. But you know,” he said looking down at you, kissing your cheek. “We have a few more premieres. Let’s not count those out since you like the suits so much.”

“Cheese ball,” you mumbled snuggling into him. “You also owe me a new Twix, seeing as you ate it while enjoying watching me.”

“Seriously, babe?”

“Deadly. Don’t mess with a girl’s candy,” you uttered, fully relaxing into him, both of you falling asleep almost instantly after that, the last thing your heard being his quiet laugh.

PLEASE PROCEED TO PART 2 IMMEDIATELY.

#dylan #dylan smut #dylan imagine #dylan fanfiction #suit dylan #suit dylan smut #dylan x reader #dylan x reader smut #dylan x reader imagine #dylan x reader fanfiction #dylan obrien #dylan obrien smut #dylan obrien imagine #dylan obrien fanfiction #dylan obrien x reader #dylan obrien x reader smut #dylan obrien x reader imagine #dylan obrien x reader fanfiction #dylan o'brien #dylan o'brien smut #dylan o'brien imagine #dylan o'brien fanfiction #dylan o'brien x reader #dylan o'brien x reader imagine #dylan o'brien x reader smut #dylan o'brien x reader fanfiction #american assassin #mitch rapp #teen wolf #stiles stilinski

[fanfic-inator795]

OK KO Oneshot: Blorpers Gonna Blorp

Plot: When an annoying meme comes back from the dead, it’s nice to have people - specifically a slightly obnoxious robotic boyfriend - by your side.

((Sorry about the stupid title, lol. But yeah, I’m not hugely into the Radmond ship personally, but at the same time I think it’s pretty cute and I’ve had this idea for a while so, why not write it? Anyway, enjoy!))

To the two of them, actually being a couple wasn’t too hard. Sure, both of them admittedly had quite a bit of pride and Rad did struggle with showing his true feelings at times (though he had been slowly improving at it, much to the delight of his boyfriend and co-workers). However, after the initial confession and whatever embarrassment or nerves that came with it, the actual act of being in a relationship was pretty much smooth sailing! Even their contrasting alignments to ‘good’ and ‘evil’ respectfully didn’t provide much conflict! 

...Setting up dates on the other hand was quite the challenge. With one working a full time job and the other being at the beck-and-call of his father and his missions, it was pretty difficult to find time where they were not only both free but were sure that they wouldn’t get annoyingly interrupted.

Still, they took whatever they could get, hence why Raymond would usually make his way to the plaza around the same time every day, about when Rad’s lunch break started. And, luckily for the alien, Enid would usually let him be a few minutes late getting back, just as long as he brought her back a small snack from wherever they decided to eat. 

Today it was this small diner just about a block or so away from the plaza, recommended specifically by Mr. Logic since they were one of the few places that served several dishes that catered specifically to robotic tastes. Definitely a plus!

“Mmm! The mix of olive oil and engine oil with just a dash of soy sauce is practically decadent! Are you sure you don’t to try a bite, Radicles?”

“Nah man, I’m good,” Rad replied, “I mean, not that my totally stomach can’t handle it but, gotta save room for dessert, you know?”

The green bot shrugged. “Alright, fair enough. ...Besides-” He gave a small smirk, “I suppose if you ever just wanted to experience the taste of it without actually eating it, I’m sure I could easily help you out with that~”

Rad stared, taking a moment to realize what Raymond was getting at - and once he did he practically set off one of his blush blasts. Still, Rad smirked back at him. “Heh, if you’re suggesting a quick make-out sess before I have to get back, I’m preeeetty sure that that can be a-

“RAD!” Radicles flinched at the sudden squeal while Raymond just blinked in surprise. Who in the world-?

And just like that, the couple’s casual lunch-date went from private to VERY public, with several people now surrounding their table. They didn’t look familiar, Raymond was certain he hadn’t seen them around the plaza. However, all of them knew (or at least acted like they knew) Rad, who was clearly forcing a smile back at them despite how much he was trying to shrink down in his seat. Some of them were even dressed like Rad, complete with blue shirts, pink pants and homemade antennas! 

“Wow, it’s been forever since your video!” one guy said, “It’s practically a classic now!”

“Yeah, when’s you’re next one?” a fangirl asked, “I bet it’ll be just as hilarious as the last one!”

Still trying to force a smile, Rad rubbed the back of his neck, glancing away from his ‘fans’. “Heh, well, comedy genius takes time, ya know? You can’t rush it if-”

“Umm, don’t you mean blorp-edy genius~?” Another fan retorted, causing the rest of them to fall into a fit of laughter.

Raymond raised an eyebrow. “Blorp-edy...? Rad, what-?” As he turned his attention back towards his boyfriend, his question almost immediately died in his throat once he saw the expression on Rad’s face. 

There wasn’t even a fake smile there anymore. There was however annoyance, anger, frustration... Maybe even a bit of hurt. And that bit was too much, at least for Raymond.

Gritting his metal teeth, the bot turned back to the fans, who had thankfully started to quiet down (though their smug smiles and clueless grins were still enough to anger the bot). “Excuse me, but I don’t believe any of you were invited to our lunch - a lunch, by the way, not some blooper reel screening! So-” His arm began to shift into a laser cannon, “If you don’t mind, I think it’s time to-

“UHH TIME TO get going back to work!” Rad quickly interrupted, sitting up now. He also gave Raymond a small kick in the shin, and while it didn’t hurt, his boyfriend quickly got the message and (reluctantly) deactivated his weapon. “Heh, yeah, I should get going back to the bodega soon so, we should probably finish eating.”

Of course, the fans gave him a disappointed look, but thankfully they didn’t try to argue. “Alright, have a good lunch, Rad!” “Yeah Rad, we’ll BLORP you later!” “Heh, and don’t forget to get your leftover food to blorp!” “Bleeble blorple!” The fans laughed again, being loud enough that the couple could still hear the chuckles even as they walked out and past the diner. 

 “Ugh...” Rad facepalmed, slouching back into his seat. “Just when I thought it was finally done...” Then again, was anything ever truly forgotten on the internet?

“...Radicles?” The alien glanced up, catching the bot’s concerned look. “Hmph... You should have let me take that penalty shot,” he grumbled, “I think they more than earned one for upsetting you.”

“Hey hey, it’s fine!” Rad insisted, forcing another smile (and causing Raymond’s frown to deepen), “Tc’ch, it’s just some dumb meme that I accidentally created! People repeat memes, it’s just somethin’ you gotta deal with! Besides, it takes more than some dumb ‘fans’ to keep me down for too long! Really, babe, it’s fine!”

“Well, if you’re sure...” Raymond still didn’t quite believe it though, especially since his date spent the rest of their lunch hour together being pretty quiet and only picking at the rest of his food. Still, Rad tried to at least look like he was enjoying himself though, even giving the bot a quick kiss on the cheek after they walked back to Gar’s together. But even so, it was easy for Raymond to tell that what those ‘fans’ of his had said was still bothering his boyfriend. 

Determined and still annoyed at the situation, Raymond activated the jets in his feet and flew back over to Boxmore. “Perhaps I should look more into this ‘blorp’...” And, as soon as he touched down on the factory’s roof and his mind connected to the wifi Boxman had set up, that’s exactly what he did.

“Okay,” he said, closing his eyes and sitting down as he mentally opened up a browser window, “What are the search results for ‘blorp’...” He was pretty sure that was how it was spelled. It certainly came up with enough results, with one of the top ones being connected to a Planet X dictionary. But without a doubt, the most popular result was a six-second video that had well over several million views. And, in the screenshot for it, was none other than Radicles. Raymond quickly selected the video. 

“Rad rocket’s on the roof ready to roll!” *crash* “BLORP!” 

“Pfft.” Raymond couldn’t help but chuckle a bit. Alright, maybe that was funny. A bit embarrassing perhaps but... Where was all the grief coming from? “There has to be more,” he mumbled as the clip continued repeating. Pushing away the video, he continued to search through the results.

Beyond the initial video and results that it only referred to the word itself, there were mostly forums. ...Many, many MANY forums. And, in Raymond’s opinion, almost none of them even had a scrap of information! All of them were just people simply reposting the video or screenshots from it, writing comments, and posting images with Rad’s face photo-shopped onto them, usually referencing the fact that he was an alien. The images weren’t too bad, but the comments...

“Grop he is just SOOOO funny!!! If all aliens were this funny, maybe we’d see more of them around!” 

“Such a goof! Blorp me up, lol!”

“Why hasn’t this guy made more blorpin’ videos already?!”

“Omfg haha, so stupid! aliens gonna blorp!”

“So great! Heh, wonder how many times he blorps up when the camera’s NOT rolling?”

“BLORP BLORP! Hehe, so weird, but still so funny! Blorpy blorp bloop!”

“...Okay, now I’m starting to get it.” Raymond sighed, shifting his mind off ‘internet mode’ before opening his eyes. “No wonder he was so annoyed... Ugh, those fairweather ‘fans’ aren’t even fans of him! They’re just fans of blorp and whatever other ‘wacky alien’ thing they like about him!” Honestly! It was like those old cartoons that he and his siblings had found from centuries ago where the robots were complete jokes or only spoke in beeps and boops! So insulting!

“If they truly knew what Radicles was like, they wouldn’t even care about blorp because-!” He paused. “...Because there would be too many other things to like about him.” Slowly, the bot smiled.

Maybe that was the real answer he had been searching for.

()()()()()()()()()

“Oh, hey Rad. Do you think you can move some of those power-ups boxes we got today out here so we don’t have to worry about getting them tomorrow?”

Rad gave a small groan, but sat up from his spot anyway. “Fine, whatever.” He headed towards the loading dock, not even noticing that his youngest co-worker was watching him. 

“...Psst, Enid!” KO whispered, “I think something’s wrong with Rad!”

“Yeah, maybe,” Enid said as she sat up, taking her feet off the counter and instead choosing to lean on her arms, “He’s been lazier than usual, and he’s not even enjoying it.”

“Yeah! And he hasn’t made any jokes, or tried to show how tough he is, or anything like that!” KO added, getting more concerned, “He just seems so down!”

“Well, maybe he’s just having a bad day?” Enid shrugged, “Nothing a little sleep can’t fix, probably. Or maybe he just had a bad date with Raymond?” KO hummed, thinking about it. Either of those could have been the reason... But before he could agree or offer up any theories of his own, a familiar voice caught their attention.

“While you’re certainly close to figuring out, you’re still throwing air balls.” The two employees turned around, spotting Raymond casually posing against a rack of fruit-themed attack projectiles. 

“How did you get in here without us noticing?” KO asked while Enid just rolled her eyes at the bot. 

Of course, Raymond ignored them both and walked further into the store, towards the back. “Besides, knowing why he’s upset won’t change much,” he added in a lower voice, “After all, no one can destroy something once it becomes memetic.” But there was something he could do to maybe counteract it...

No sooner had he reached the back of the Bodega, Rad returned with several floating boxes surrounded in pink aura. “Hm?” he blinked, “Uhh, what are you doing here, Ray?”

“Just thought I’d stop by for a bit to talk with my favorite Bodega worker~” Raymond replied simply, “Maybe brighten up the last few minutes of your shift with my presence.”

“Tc’ch.” Despite everything, Rad couldn’t help but give a small smile. “Alright, works for me.” With that, he began stacking the crates against the wall.

Raymond hummed as he watched him. “Though, I must say, my dear Radicles, you’re quite the all-star yourself.”

“Real- er, heh, yeah I am,” Rad nodded.

“You’ve got plenty of power and strength. Why, I’m sure you’ll even level up soon! Your fingerblasts are very useful, and you’re able to apply them to your own style of fighting, making them all the more unique - just like you! Plus you’re light on your feet, very useful!”

“Uh huh,” Rad nodded again as he continued stacking boxes, though his boyfriend’s compliment marathon was far from over. 

“But it’s not just power and fighting that keeps you at the top of the starting line-up, oh no. I’d also say you’ve very stylish, much more stylish than other bots- er, people - that I see each day! You’re also very charming-”

Raymond paused, hearing a small snicker. He shot Enid a quick glare before continuing. “As I was SAYING, you’re very charming - from your interesting conversation topics to your wits, your dancing, your flirting. Why, I’d say you’re one of the most unique and most exceptional organic beings that I’ve ever-”

“Okay.” Rad dropped the last box he was holding and turned to face his boyfriend, giving him a look.

Raymond blinked. “What? Did I say something wrong?”

“Well, no but-” Rad crossed his arms, not looking angry or even annoyed by any means, but still looking a bit confused. “Look, I get that couples are supposed to compliment each other and stuff, and yeah all the things you’re saying are totally true but, don’t you think you’re laying it on just a little too thick? Seriously, Ray, what’s up?”

“...Well...” Raymond sighed, deflating slightly. This wasn’t going quite as well as he assumed it would. “I just thought that, well, after what happened at lunch, you could use some comments that weren’t just jokes at your expense... Comments that were genuine, and that were from someone who actually knew you and admired you - and not just the things you’ve said - and who-” He cleared his throat, his face heating up slightly. “Who... cares about you. I just didn’t want you feeling like everyone just saw you as a joke or a meme or whatever.”

“...” Rad turned his head away, staying silent as Raymond watched him blink a few times, and even giving a small sniffle. However, once Rad looked back over at him, the only thing on his face was a big - and genuine - smile. 

“Heh... Like I said,” Rad told his boyfriend as he stepped forward, “I already knew all the things you said about me, but-” He leaned forward, allowing their noses to touch (surprisingly, Raymond’s nose wasn’t nearly as deadly as it looked). “But it, you know... It still means a lot to hear it from someone who does care. Thanks, Raymond.” 

With that, Rad moved his head over slightly. Knowing now what he was planning on doing, Raymond happily lifted his own head up slightly, allowing their lips to meet.

Once their kiss broke though, Rad did add one last thing. “And just so you know, babe... I think you’re pretty great too. Great AND unique, no matter how many other Raymonds there are.”

Raymond smirked. “Of course. Coach Boxdad made me to be the greatest after all. But, it sounds even greater coming from you~” And with that, the couple shared another kiss.

“Aww!” KO smiled, clapsing his hands together, “That’s so sweet!”

“Heh, yeah yeah,” Enid smirked, “Hey Rad, just remember you’re still on the clock for another half hour! So let’s wrap it up, okay?” Though, even if her co-worker didn’t get much else done that night, she didn’t think she would mind - at least, not tonight.

Sure, Rad and Raymond could sometimes be annoying or frustrating on their own. But together, they really were a sweet sight.

THE END 

((First OK KO fic so, hope everyone was in-character and that you all enjoyed reading! ^v^))

#ok ko let's be heroes #radicles #raymond ok ko #radmond #oneshot #my writing #fanfiction

[shayde-n-friends]

Reaper High - The Start of A Nightmare

((Apart of JFH week. Day 1 - Where is everyone before/around when everything goes down? Here’s where. (Includes some brief mention of canon characters) Hope you Enjoy!))

“So why am I ze one who has to crawl through ze vents?”

“Because Turians aren’t good at crawling. Plus, how would I fit in there?”

Revar had been tasked with maintenance for the week as extra credit, a nice way to pass the time during a free period he though. Volker, on the other hand, was bored and had nothing to do, since Russell and Shiho “disappeared.” He knew they were ditching, and actually would have liked to join them…but Revar just NEEDED his help for the mundane task that only the assassin could help with apparently.

“So what am I looking for?” Volker’s voice echoed from the grate.

“The system says there’s some sort of blockage. Find it, and if you can, get rid of it.” Revar responded, not looking up from his Omni-tool.

Volker started to swear in german, as his voice grew quieter and quieter as he moved away. However the sound of his movements were always could always be heard, precisely why he and the other assassins never used the vents to sneak around. A few minutes passed, and there was nothing from The Assassin. A few more passed. Still nothing. Revar became nervous, as Volker always checked in when he’d reached the objective, or at least signaled when there was trouble…

Suddenly, someone down the hall started to giggle. It calmed Revar’s nerves.

“Spirits…was this another prank??” He sighed, annoyed. Revar hated pranks.

Sadly. This was no prank.

The laughter grew louder…and louder…and louder still…and Revar was confused. Nobody had come to mock him for his susceptibility to jokes, and Volker hadn’t come back. Noises of slamming against lockers and glass breaking echoed from behind the door to the hallway. The Turian rose from his seat and put on his helmet, and in time as well. Gas poured from where Volker had gone in to check, and now it was seeping in from under the door.

“What the hell..?!” Revar drew his Harrier rifle. His heart began to race.

He rushed to the door and locked it, and almost instantly, from outside there was banging. He leveled his rifle and prepared for the worst…

—-

Roulette had locked herself in a lab room that she had been working in. Her classmates foolishly left to see what the commotion was about. Despite her telling them not to go, they left, and Roulette mourned. She what was happening and who was behind it. She’d gone to Ms. Bellum about the threat he posed again and again but to no avail…he had to stay for some reason…The Joker. She hadn’t a clue if there were any survivors, and she couldn’t risk leaving. Despite being mechanical, granting her immunity to the toxin, she knew she’d been overwhelmed and captured within minutes. She needed a plan, she needed reinforcements…

“Spirit.” She summoned her Ghost. “Find out where my brother is. Get him and his friends to come back. NOW.” She ordered.

“Roger Dodger, boss!” Spirit chimed.

The little light flew through a vent, and was gone in a flash. Now all the Warlock could do was wait…and pray that the others would return soon.

—-

“This rifle is garbage!”

Stake hissed and moaned at the inaccuracy of the arcade shooter game’s rifle, causing his to loose his patience and subsequently, the game itself. Whilst he raged at the game, the other students roamed the rest of the arcade. Brawl Hall (partially aided by Coach Cinder) decided to take a ditch day. Taking Stake’s LAAT, The Fellowship, consisting of Stake, Shayde, Vega, Shard, Shiho and Melody, decided to head into town and have some fun. While Shard and Melody left for the theatre, everyone else was in the arcade, having a ball. Shayde and Vega spent most of their time playing arcade cabinets and hockey.

“6-1, Shayde. Give up while you still can.” Vega teased, walking over to him and tugging on his cloak.

“But this game’s so fun! That’s what it’s about, right?” Shayde took Vega’s arm innocently.

She giggled softly and pulled Shayde in to kiss his cheek. The two hugged and strolled to the next game together. Meanwhile, Shiho spent her time setting impossibly high records for fruit ninja. So much so that the arcade considered making a reward for anyone who could beat her. However, there was only one person who could beat Shiho’s high score. And that person was Shiho.

The crew felt so carefree in this moment, that it felt like nothing could ruin this day.

Nothing.

—–

“Something’s wrong Russell. We need to go back.”

Shay pleaded for Russell to return to the school, as he could feel a disturbance through the connection he had with mystic forces of RH. Russell didn’t care. While he was concerned for the safety of the other students of most of the other halls, he couldn’t care less about Genius Sanctum. There were only three people he cared about there, and he knew at least two of them could candle themselves.

But the third one…

“What is it you’re so worried about? I mean, besides Egomaniac Central.” Russell, tired of the situation before he was even apart of it.

“They’re not the problem this time…” Shay said sternly. “I can’t sense any other magic users aside from everyone else who left…something’s happened. And it’s not just to them, it’s to everyone! Whatever this is…it’s dire.”

Everyone. Shay never used words lightly. Russell turned in the school’s direction. He sighed in anger, and readied his blades.

“Fine.”

—-

The second she sensed darkness around the school’s vicinity, Xavis scrapped her patrol mission, hopped into her ship and left for RH’s dimension faster than she could throw a punch. Which is very fast. She wouldn’t arrive at the school for another half hour, so she spent her time loading up her weapons, selecting the heaviest armor she could find, and pondering how she would hurt whoever started this mess. Roulette said that something like this was bound to happen, and how could she be wrong? Letting villains just run around and do whatever the hell they want? A dumb decision in Roulette’s eyes. Of course for Xavis, all it really meant was a grade and a fun time. But this? This felt different, like an actual threat. Like The Hive or The Vex…

Xavis’ Ghost, Cicely, appeared beside the titan.

“Boss…I got a transmission from Spirit. You’re not gonna like this…”

There, on the ship’s small view screen appeared a picture of the main halls, all looking like maniacs and…

“…That piece of…”

Xavis kicked the ship into overdrive, and the second she was in the school’s dimension, she brought her ship close to the ground, jumped out and slammed into the earth below like a furious blue meteor. Without another word she charged into the school, a raging armored freight train with no brakes to speak of.

——

Above Reaper High, cloaked and undetected, a ship sits idle in the sky. Aboard it, sits a member of the Dark Blade Predator Clan, Marsh. A researcher, an explorer and a warrior. Rather than hunt like most of his race did, he set off to observe, to learn from and to document the various species he’d encountered. He had been observing the school for sometime now, and had even infiltrated once or twice…but now he was displeased. Someone, a rather boring someone in the Predator’s opinion, decided to make everyone just like him. Marsh wasn’t happy. All the specimens were the most skilled warriors he’d ever seen. So skilled, in fact, that rather than hunt them he wished to train with them! But now they were about as boring as any other humans he’d ever encountered. This couldn’t stand.

He set the ship to land and drop him off on the ground, so that he may conduct a hunt for the one responsible for the disruption of his studies. But before he set off, he readied himself. Taking notes from a few well known hunters of his tribe, he took a spear, two plasma casters, two scimitar gauntlets and a bladed whip. While he was rather peeved about the circumstance of this hunt, he was also rather enthusiastic. This was the first time he would engage these warriors in combat and even if they weren’t the best that the school had to offer, they would be formidable nonetheless. When the ship touched down, he stepped out and cracked his knuckles. Were he human, a large grin would be present upon his face. Yes, this was a rather obnoxious situation, Marsh thought. But even the most tedious of tasks can be…fun.

#Reaper High #joker's finest hour #JFH #((that was fun to write!))