how q!Cellbit has honestly NOT completely broken down at this point is beyond me. like if he can survive wednesday and still have some level of composure i’m going to be relatively surprised
mini ramble under the cut
they took his kid. they took all the kids. one of the last exchanges he even had with Richas was a fight
q!Mike is gone. has been gone for days now
q!Forever has been fucking drugged and he’s losing it. he’s calling a rock his son. if he’s not taking those pills he’s violent and aggressive and Cucurucho literally gave him a gun. god only knows what he’s capable of
don’t even get me started on the mystery man lMao. who is supposedly just a figment of q!Cellbit’s mind and a voice in his head. i digress
and now q!Pac, who feels so useless compared to everyone, so emotionally and physically exhausted, that he’s willing to subject himself to the “medication” as a means to find a cure. bc it’s the only way he feels useful
and so many people have their eyes on q!Cellbit. “the smart one,” the problem-solver. bc if anyone can solve whatever the fuck is going on and find a way to put an end to it, it’s him, right?
q!Cellbit’s utter fear of losing control not for himself, but for the others, is probably the only thing keeping him rational and - somewhat - stable. you can’t get shit done when you’re not stable
this man for real had some good therapy before the island bc with the amount of shit he’s dealt with, and he’s still being as strong as he can? incredible. but we all saw him start to breakdown yesterday, yelling at q!Forever i can’t lose you too. finally caving in and deciding to fuck up the island a bit for the Feds to see
bc we all have a breaking point. and what happens if, or even when, q!Cellbit hits his?
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Trigger Warning: blades, mild torture, injuries, and what amounts to suicidal thoughts and actions (he lives at the end but he does need a hell of a lot of therapy)
Tim shudders, as best he can while bleeding and bruised and broken.
The Red Hood is above him, mechanical voice melding into the raspy deeper tones of an Older Jason Todd. His voice is hollow and cruel as he digs his blade into Tim’s flesh. It hurts. But, Tim thinks dazedly, having Robin, Tim’s Robin, hating Tim hurts worse.
“Wow, Replacement, no last words for the person you stole everything away from?”
Jason’s mocking him.
“Okay.”
“What’s that, Replacement?”
Tim is so incredibly tired. And the blade held to his neck is starting to look like comfort. Tim thinks-
“My last words. You- You want to hear it?”
His hero’s face tilts, green eyes sparking something deep within Tim’s memory. But he’s so tired.
“Sure, let’s see what kind of recruitment pitch you’ve got for me, Replacement.”
Cruel. So cruel. Mocking him with false warmth. But false warmth is better than the coldness of Drake manor, the coldness of Bruce’s grieving form or Dick’s smile, sometimes when he thinks Tim’s not looking.
Ah, Tim knew it. His Robin will always be better than any other heroes, even if the false warmth makes his heart hurt worse than the broken ribs he’s now sporting. That Hood is pressing a knee down on to keep him immobile. Not that Tim could move anywhere considering both of his legs are broken. Tim wonders what it is about him that makes it impossible for people to muster up warmth towards.
“Do you know why… why heroes are so… so loved?” He wheezes out. He doesn’t wait for a response from Hood. “It’s because… they choose good- they choose to better the world- to save people, even if… even if they weren’t saved themselves. No matter how much- the obstacles, there’s always, an obstacle. But they try anyways.” Tim has to wrap this up. He’s losing coherency. “It’s why… it’s why this is okay. You… you’re choosing to save… to save Gotham from the Joker. Ev’n if you weren’t saved yourself. You’re not… good. You kill.”
Red Hood- Jason, snarls. Tim, blinking slowly, admires the man’s green eyes. “That’s fucking right-”
“But, you can be. Y’re helping.” And because this is important, because Tim has an alter set up to mourn Jason, “You were my hero,” Tim says, and Jason stops short, expression blanking. “So. I’ll help- help remove an obstacle so… so you can keep helping. Helping people like… like me. Or, not like me. Something.”
With that, Tim summons the rest of his strength and presses his neck towards the blade, starting the process to slit his own throat.
Jason flings the knife away, expression crumbling in horror as he stares down at the child he just tortured.
And as Tim’s voice fades, as blood spills out of his neck, as Tim gives him time to retrieve the knife, Jason breaks.
Oh, Tim thinks. His eyes weren’t green. They’re supposed to be blue.
——
Jason sits beside the medical cot, the steady beeping of the heart monitor grounding him as he held two fingers on the kid’s- oh god, he’s a fucking kid, Todd, you monster- pulse.
Jason will grovel when Tim wakes up. Because he turned into the kid’s Joker and Willis and if there’s anything Jason won’t ever allow himself to turn into, it’d be those two. He crossed a line. If Tim wants him to rip his liver out and present it to him, Jason thinks he’d do it on the spot.
Fuck. He fucked up.
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