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fryingpan1234567 · 3 months

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canonically Jason and Tim have motorcycles, right? and B and Duke too but the other two are more well known I think

ANYWAYS what if everyone in the batfam had one tho? because. the potential.

Dick takes his off of roofs sometimes, but it’s built for it. before all his modifications, it was just a blue and black chrome Yamaha sports bike, nothing special. he added a Nightwing sticker on each side, a bunch of weapons (mostly electricity based), grappling hooks, Nightwing things. there’s even a sidecar for Haley.

Babs (before the wheelchair days) had a purple and yellow one that matched her suit perfectly. it sort of meant she couldn’t use it during the day, but occasionally she rode it to work with extensive concealing of the random dangerous gadgets. hers was also a Yamaha (same model ^^)

Jason canonically has a black shapeshifting one like some maccadams shit but it’s fine— it’s loud as shit, so he doesn’t really use it for patrol, but he loves it during the day. because it’s just black, it’s pretty easy to take it out for completely non-suspicious speeding law breaking joyrides. no harm done!

Cass has a jet black Ninja, and her reputation on the streets is about the same as the nightfury’s at the beginning of the first httyd. dark, deadly, and it’s even quiet in Gotham’s busy streets. watch your back for her.

Tim’s got the BATCYCLE it’s CANON. it’s also canon that it’s got a liquid-cooling engine and a Robin-themed paint job, but fuck that, I say it’s dark red and electric and he rides it to work. so sometimes (most of the time) he pulls up with ruffled clothes and helmet hair, which Conner nearly fainted at the first time he saw it, but we don’t talk about that. he doesn’t use it for patrol because Kon said he’d carry him everywhere if Tim gave him rides in exchange. on the bike. he has said on more than one occasion “wear the helmet, ride a biker” and Tim punches him really hard

Steph’s bike is purple, and the wheels do the hover-shift-glowy thing like in Mario Kart (also purple). she’s not scared of you or anyone; she will ride that shit to school and use it on patrol with the hovering and distracting color and everything. fight me.

in canon, Duke’s bike is electric with a bunch of lights and black and yellow and lowkey built like a tank. I kinda like it! I think it’s a fabulous bike for a fabulous man so therefore he gets to keep it I won’t be taking criticism

Damian gets a green and red and black electric Ninja, plus a helmet that he painted with feathers and paw prints n shit. Jon likes the spare, which is just black but has a red mohawk. what more could you want? he could fly everywhere, but he also could just have his badass motorcycle bf drive him everywhere while he wears his dope ass helmet and vibes to whatever 2000s pop shit Damian lets him play. he’s a professional backpack.

did you think I’d stop at the Batkids? sorry imma keep going

I like the idea of Brucie having a black sports bike that’s 90% modifications like in the movie. no one remembers what it was before he took it all apart and added Bat-stuff, but it looks great now! it’s blown up more times than you can count, just because it’s a really good target for rogues.

Kate has one that’s almost exactly the same, except hers is maybe a little closer to what it was originally. she doesn’t quite have all the same stuff Bruce does, but they’re the same vibe!

anyways that’s the vigilante weirdos club, so like it’s expected that they’d all have a dangerous vehicle. slightly less expected— Alfred freaking Pennyworth has a Harley with tall handles and sparkly black paint, but nobody knew that for such a long time because he barely leaves the manor. all the kids lost their minds when they found out. what can I say

anyways some Bat-bike shenanigans that have ensued:

street races between all the Batkids at least once a week, whether that be on patrol or in civvy clothes

Jason obnoxiously revving really loud whenever he sees one of them in the street, on a date, when he’s picking them up from something, just as often as possible. obnoxious revving. old people hate him

cool lesbian aunt Kate picking up kids from school with her badass bike and epic helmet

sometimes Dick will be talking about “his child” or “his baby” and no one’s sure if he’s talking about his dog or his bike

bike-related thirst traps on social media

“race you to the next light”

not a single one of them has left a Gotham speeding law intact even once (not even Alfred, although he won’t admit it)

Wally likes to get Dick to race him on his bike even though he knows he’s going to win

both Jon and Conner have said something along the lines of “I bet I could pick up the bike with you on it” as a show-off attempt, but Damian and Tim love their paint jobs too much to permit them to try

Batfam on bikes❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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phanboyo · 2 years

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I'm about to state a really unpopular opinion about a piece of phannon lore so feel free to ignore me. Also this is just my personal take and I don't really have a problem with anyone who likes it but,

I don't really like ghost obsessions? I feel like it makes them less... accountable? And less dimensional? And altogether less human. And I know that they're not supposed to be human but I feel like it makes them less relatable and more "odd manifestation of ecto-energy and post-human consciousness." It makes them more like alien beings who are slaves to a singular theme, and that's just no fun.

Granted, you can do a lot of interesting things with "What happens when a ghost is forced to go against its obsession, what could drive a ghost to go against its obsession, what happens when it fails to fulfill its obsession, etc etc"

I guess I don't mind it as an AU sort of thing, but it's so commonly accepted that it's kind of just a given in a lot of fic and stuff.

I mean heck, regular humans who don't have supernaturally powered obsessions already do stupid things to support their hobbies. Ghosts, for the most part, don't have anything to lose, their stakes are even lower for doing dumb stuff just cause it's fun.

Why does Ember hypnotize an entire population and sell out concert tickets to get people shouting her name? Because she likes fame, she loves music, being on stage is exhilarating, and the fact that she can still affect so many people even after she's dead is a thrill worth getting beat up by some dinky ghost hunter or even locked away in a prison for 1,000 years. She's dead, she's got all the time in the world, and nothing to lose.

Why does Skulker look for interesting new prizes to keep? Is it because of an alien force that drives his very being and gives him metabolic energy in exchange for exotic pelts? No! It's because it's fun! He obviously likes inventing things, I mean look at his suit! It's dope! He's a tiny little blob and he built a freaking terminator cyborg mech suit with a flaming mohawk just because he can. Sure, it probably makes hunting easier, but I don't think having an anthropomorphic punk skeletor mech would be helpful enough for that obsession to make it worth the time it took to build. Time which he could theoretically be using more practically fulfilling his obsession. So what does that mean? Does he have multiple obsessions? Hunting and Inventing? Maybe, but normal people call those hobbies. What else does Skulker get up to when Danny's not around? We have no idea. Maybe he's into needlework. Maybe he has a cool garden. If he's not a slave to a singular task which he must fulfill in order to get power, peace of mind, whatever whatever, then he could be doing a lot of things.

I guess I just like that more. We don't see a lot of every ghost, except Danny. We don't know what they get up to when he's not around, but I'd like to think that they, like regular people, are not based all around one or two ideas or themes. I guess I feel like obsessions are limiting. Sometimes that can be a good thing, or an interesting thing anyway, but I feel like it often brings less than it takes.

There's my hot take. Feel free to respond, I just want to reiterate that these are just my thoughts on it and I am a very flawed person who doesn't see everything :)

#i hope this doesnt make anyone angry i just want to discuss™#im probably missing something tbh since this headcannon is so popular and pervasive #i guess i just dont see the appeal?#someone please enlighten me?#ectobiology #boyo rambles #hc #skulker #ember

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marshunter06 · 3 years

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@elskamo because I adore you I will write a thing for it, but tbh this really should be a multichaptered fic. I’m just the worst at writing those, so here’s a shortened version. Also you should totally write that alternate world tour idea, it sounds super dope!

“If you think he’s cute, why don’t you just go talk to him?”

“Who are you even talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, I know you Duncan. Just because things didn’t work out with us doesn’t mean you’re not still my best friend. I can read you like a book.”

“You should stick with reading actual books Princess, don’t you have other people to bother. Like Trent?”

“Stop trying to change the subject, he’s literally looked over at you at least twice now. Go say hi.”

“Not interested, besides you know I only have eyes for you Court.”

“Not interested.”

“You break my heart Princess.”

“And you’re unbelievable. Oh look, there’s Heather and oh!”

“What?”

“Looks like she knows your guy.”

“No, Courtney! Don’t you dare!”

Too late, his ex girlfriend proves to still be a pain in his ass as she waves down Heather and motions for her and her handsome friend to join them in their booth. Courtney makes sure Heather sits next to her as they’re all introduced to Alejandro, a childhood friend from her daycare days who she managed to keep in contact with.

“Duncan, Court, this is Al.”

“Heather.”

“Kidding, his name is Alejandro. He just moved here, so he’ll need all the social interaction he can get.”

“I was doing fine on my own.”

“Sure, that’s why I found you napping on the couch with a documentary on whales playing in the background. You need to get out more.”

“I told you already I had it on for the ocean sounds.”

“Dude’s got a point, waves are pretty soothing… um… you know at least that’s what the homies… I mean Geoff tells me.”

Courtney shoots Duncan a pointed look as to say I told you so when he just had a brainfart and blanked out on the words, it had nothing to do with how distracting his new… friend is. None at all.

😏😏😏

Heather: You know if you wanna talk to him, you should’ve just done it. I’ve never seen you this nervous before, I really gotta meet this guy.

Alejandro: Haha, really funny Heather. The only reason why I’m even looking at him is because you’re running thirty minutes late.

Heather: Right… it’s why you’ve only been sending me messages about him when there must be at least twenty other people at the diner.

Alejandro: The guy has a green mohawk! It’s very in your face!

Heather: Oh yeah, not that you were paying extra attention to him or anything… I mean you must just have keen observation skills to see that his eyes are a unique shade of light blue you’ve never seen before and that he has a dimple only on his right cheek when he smiles… but you would notice that about anyone.

He was still struggling with a reply when he catches the guy he totally hasn’t been checking out, no matter what Heather thinks, looks over at him for the third time since he’s been in the corner spot. The sound of the door chiming along with a pair of heels on the tiles lets him know his lunch buddy has finally arrived. She doesn’t even apologize for being late, just glances at her phone and smiles at her while firing away a text message before putting the phone back in her purse.

“You’re not even going to say hello?”

“No time, we have some people to meet.”

Before he even has the chance to question her further, she’s already pulling him out of the booth towards, the guy with the green hair and his friend… that Heather clearly knew and didn’t tell him about. Great, he’s been set up. She shoots him a wink as she sits down next to the brunette he knows as Courtney, leaving him no choice but to slide in next to Duncan.

😏😏😏

“Wait, oh my gosh Duncan! This is big! Your first date together! Where are you guys going?”

“Slow your roll Princess, it’s not a date. We’re just going to watch that new scary movie since someone bailed on me.”

“Going to a movie is a date, I knew you liked him!”

“Yeah, no. Dude seems chill and he was free, that’s the only reason. We’re just two guys hanging out.”

“Sure, just like how Trent and I are just two friends who text each other everyday.”

“We don’t text everyday…”

“Ha! I knew you had his number!”

“... of course I do… we’re friends… don’t wait up.”

😏😏😏

“Wow, look at you getting all dressed up, hot date? Actually don’t answer that, where’s Duncan taking you?”

“I’m just wearing a button down and how’d you know I was hanging out with Duncan?”

“From the way you were smiling at your phone even though you two have been texting non stop all day, and is that what you’re calling it? Hanging out.”

“We’re just going to see a movie.”

“Netflix and chill.”

“No Heather, at a movie theater.”

“Oh, a bit voyeuristic for the first date, but I’m not judging.”

“We’re just friends. Nothing’s happening. I don’t like him like that.”

“Right, just remember to use protection.”

😏😏😏

Somehow they end up having a picnic in the park a couple weeks after their movie not date. Clearly neither of them are interested in being anything more than friends, though their roommates keep trying to push them together. Even though again, they were just friends. Just two bros eating homemade food they made for each other on a nice sunny afternoon in a secluded part of the park next to the lake. Totally normal and definitely not a second date. It’s easy to confuse it as one, especially when they start talking and get to know each other more, what their families are like, favorite foods, hobbies. Just questions to get to know each other better, as friends of course.

😏😏😏

“So when are you going to make things official with Alejandro?”

“Nice to see you too Heather. Courtney’s over at Trent’s.”

“Dodge the question again. I dare you.”

“Al and I are just friends.”

“Woah. This is serious.”

“What?”

“Alejandro doesn’t just let anyone call him Al. He hates being called that…”

“Yeah I know cause José’s a douche… stop looking at me like that.”

“And you’re still trying to convince me there’s nothing there?”

“He doesn’t like me like that and I don’t see him that way. We’re just friends.”

“You two are impossible I swear.”

😏😏😏

“Courtney? Heather’s not…”

“I’m not here for her, what are your intentions towards Duncan?”

“I don’t know what…”

“Don't finish that sentence. You guys have been dating for the past two months. Is this just a fling? I need to know how invested I need to be in this. Duncan’s been through a lot already…”

“I know, his parents, really his dad is an asshole.”

“He told you that…”

“Yeah, of course he did. I know about his time in juvie too, he had a crush on…”

“Dylan. Alright, I guess we’re done here.”

“You’re just gonna leave now?”

“Yep. Oh and by the way, his birthday is coming up…”

“This saturday.”

“Exactly… and I’ll be busy working overtime that day which means I’ll probably end up crashing at Trent’s since it’s so much closer to the office…”

“Didn’t you request his birthday off months in advance.”

“He doesn’t know that.”

😏😏😏

A whole year passes and somehow Duncan and Alejandro are still in denial. They act like a couple, invading each other’s space, giving each other gifts for birthdays and anniversaries, and holding hands in public. Courtney and Heather have both caught them on five separate occasions of them in promising positions with red lips and hickes they tried to hide. It’s exhausting getting them to admit they like each other and are together in a relationship. At this rate, the girls have given up, as long as they’re happy.

😏😏😏

“You’re going to smudge your mascara, I thought you used the waterproof one.”

“Guess I grabbed the wrong one. I’m surprised you’re not crying? How did I become the emotional one.”

“Probably because I’m still annoyed at them for denying they’re relationship when they’re literally getting married right now! Who does that?”

“Let it go Court, they just don’t want to admit we’re right.”

“Okay, but doing this for tax breaks is a lousy excuse. Just like when they were claiming they wanted to save more money by moving in together when our leases were nearing its end.”

“Boys, what are you going to do. Speaking of…”

“This is their day Heather. Look at those two. I swear they’ve only had eyes for each other since the day at the diner.”

“About that…”

“... no… you’re kidding!”

“Fate works in mysterious ways. Who would’ve known they met when they were kids and never forgot about each other.”

“Well that explains why they were so drawn to each other in the first place.”

Duncan and Alejandro both gave a special smile to their former roommates finally acknowledging that they were right to think there was something more to their friendship. Funny how they kept trying to convince themselves there was nothing there when it couldn’t be farther from the truth. They were always meant to meet and continue falling together.

#aleduncan #lots of dialogue #inspo credit to elskamo #couldn’t resist slipping in Trentney... I tried not to get it out of hand and almost failed #also that emoji is the face I imagine both Courtney and Heather to be like the whole time

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smokeybrandreviews · 3 years

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Smokey brand Select: Deck the Halls

I don’t know if you can tell by my blog, but i f*cking love Christmas. It’s my absolute favorite holiday of the year. I love t more than Thanksgiving, more than Halloween, even more than my f*cking birthday and that’s a lot because I'm kind of a f*cking narcissist. I love the festivities, the decorations, the music, the objective purity of the whole season. Christmas time is the one time of year that people decide collectively to suck less. Recently, with all of the stupid conservative boycotts and soapbox rants, that less is a little less than usually but still, it’s hard not to love the Christmas season. It’s so inspirational and has inspired some fantastic films. Here's a list of some of my favorites. A lot of these, the majority of them, probably aren’t “traditional” Christmas fare but i assure you that they are, indeed, Christmas films. To say otherwise would just be disrespectful.

10. Edward Scissorhands

Tim Burton is going to be all over this list, man. Edward Scissorhands came out during a time i was incredibly infatuated with the striking visuals of Burton. I’m an Eighties kid and he kind of had his coming out party during that decade. Almost all of those films he released back then are favorites of mine. I remember seeing Scissorhands as a young kid and being absolutely mesmerized by it’s beauty. As an adult, i appreciated the underlying messaging just as much.

9. A Christmas Story

You’ll shoot your eye out! I used to hate this movie, man. It was a staple in during my elementary school Christmas parties. I never paid attention to it because, as a kid, i hated anything that wasn’t a cartoon. One day i was sick at home and caught it offseason TNT. This thing played, like, every day for some reason. I heard it was a favorite of Ted Turner but that’s just rumor. Anyway, i watched it and completely fell in love with this earnest, absurd, flick. It’s a really good watch and deserves it’s title as a classic.

8. Home Alone

Home Alone was the very first Christmas flick i remembered actually loving for being a Christmas flick. Like, when the season starts and Mariah Carey hits the airwaves, Home Alone is what i thing about. It’s the very first film that i unequivocally associate with Santa season. It’s funny because it’s not that great a film but i still love it dearly. I think that’s more because of nostalgia, though. There are fr superior films in the honorable mentions which probably deserve this spot more but Home Alone makes me genuinely smile.

7. Die Hard

I mean, how can i not put this on the list? It’s a classic. One of the best action films ever made. One of the best performances Bruce Willis has ever given. Plus, it introduces the late, great, Alan Rickman as Hans Gruber. Now, my favorite of the lot is With a Vengeance but Die Hard would be nothing without this holly jolly first entry.

6. Scrooged

One of my favorite Christmas narratives is A Christmas Carol. Dickens was a prolific writer and, among his works, the story of Ebeneezer Scrooge’s crisis of conscious is my favorite. I almost always love it when ever it makes it to screen but, for my money, the best version of this story took the form of the Eighties classic, Scrooged. It’s so Eighties in all of the ways. I love the overall narrative, the changes made t fit it into a then modern setting, and those incredible practical effects. It’s a feast for the senses while hitting all the necessary Dickens notes. Also, this version of the Ghost of Christmas Future is a whole ass nightmare. Like, f*ck, dude!

5. Trading Places

I love this movie so much, just on it’s own merits as a film. It’s so good. Eddie Murphy is excellent in this film and Dan Akroyd is just as brilliant. Jamie Lee Curtis was incredibly hilarious, too. This was the second thing i had ever seen her in, after Halloween so, you know, going from that to this really caught my attention. Trading Places is a classic and should be seen by everyone.

4. Gremlins

Gremlins is just generally one of my favorite films. I love this f*cked up movie, man. It’s SO good and this version is the tone down one. The original vision for this movie was just an R rated murder fest. I mean, the one we got wasn’t a joke wither It’s the reason we have the PG-3 rating. SH*t is just that violent Now, juxtapose all of this little green monstrosity anarchy against a dreamy white Christmas and you have all the makings of worming your way into my heart. Honestly, i prefer the gremlin shenanigans from the sequel, Mohawk is my favorite, but Stripe definitely left an impression.

3. The Long Kiss Goodnight

I had a massive crush on Geena Davis when was young. Can’t tell you why, but i was absolutely infatuated with the chick after i saw her in The Fly remake. I followed her career afterwards. She dropped several gems along the way, Beetlejuice, Thelma and Louise, Earth Girls are Easy, A League of their Own, but my absolute favorite film of hers is definitely The Long Kiss Goodnight. This thing is peak Nineties action excess. Shane Black in his prime. Die Hard III but John McCLane is a hot ass amazon woman who can beat you to death with her mitts. It even has Sam Jackson as a smart-mouthed side kick! I love it!

2c. A Charlie Brown Christmas

I adore Charlie Brown. If Spider-Man, Godzilla, and Transformers are the foundations of my childhood, Snoopy is foundation adjacent. My Paternal grandma had all of the Peanuts films and i would watch them on repeat when we were forced to go over there. I say forced because she was kind of terrible and none of us really wanted to visit her ever but, when we did, and she wasn’t trying to exploit our labor or feed us rotten food, we did get to watch dope classic sh*t. She owned every Disney movie from the Renaissance and every Peanuts special on VHS. I hated visiting that woman but i loved those Charlie Brown adventures so kind of bittersweet memories.

2b. How the Grinch Stole Christmas

This one is associated with my other grandma, the one i actually liked. We used to sit down every year and watch this one together while sipping egg nog. Man, it’s hard for me to type this out. It breaks my heart remembering those times so I'm going to stop. I just really love How The Grinch Stole Christmas. It’s very, very, special to me.

2a. The Nutcracker

The Nutcracker is in the same situation as How the Grinch Stole Christmas. I have a lot of love for this thing, in ll forms, but the one i remember so vividly is the opera they used to show every season. My grandma really loved opera and orchestral music. I miss her.

1b. Batman Returns

I told you Burton was going to be all over this thing. Bro, how can this thing not be on the top of this list? Batman Returns left a real impression, man. Michelle Pfiefer’s Catwoman did things to me that would have reverberating effects through the rest of my life! She is, more than any other reason, why i have an unhealthy infatuation for crazy chicks. Also Nancy Downs but The Craft isn’t a Christmas movie. Outside of the way that patent leather catsuit ruined me for normal relationships, Batman Returns is just a force of f*cking nature. It’s Pure Tim Burton and i adore that man’s eye. He is one of my favorite creators and Batman is one of my favorite heroes. How can this thing not make my list? Batman Returns couldn’t take the number two spot, mostly because it jockeys for position with Nightmare pretty actively. I love them both so much, it’s hard to give the number one spot to either of them so, you know, split the difference.

1a. The Nightmare Before Christmas

This is Halloween! I remember being so hype about this movie. Nine year old Smokey was super into this film and that love carries through to this day. Every time it airs, i catch it or, at least, i used to when i had television. I saw this thing day one in theaters, made my mom buy the VHS, it was one of the very first DVDs i ever purchased with my own money, and was the third Blue ray i got after picking up my PS3. The wild thing is, it’s not just me either. Nightmare has become a pinnacle of the cultural zeitgeist. This thing is all over the place. People get tattoos of Jack. Halloween Town even made it into a few Kingdom Hearts games and it wasn’t even a Disney movie at first! It was banished to the subsidiary of Touchstone when it first released because the Mouse House didn’t believe in it! Talk about a miscalculations.

Honorable Mentions: Tokyo Godfathers, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Bad Santa, Elf, Carol, Anna and the Apocalypse

#Smokey brand Select #Christmas movies #Christmas #Tis the season #Happy Holidays

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spadebrigade · 4 years

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eyes on you - sfw version

author’s note: hello! this is “eyes on you”, a version of my fic on ao3 that has the smut cut out. click here for the original, which also has the tags + summary

author’s note (continued): please note that this is a sequel to my longer work, a fortune i couldn’t foresee. but you don’t need to read it in order to understand this one shot!

we begin with this song. now onto the fic:

This was his moment. Kuroo closed his eyes, took a deep breath. It only took one phrase to spark a revolution, one song to set a nation’s heart on fire. And he was just the person to take on this challenge, delighting in the water droplets as they cascaded over his bare body. Taking in one more deep breath, he belted out:

“I love you, baaaaaby, and if it's quite alright

I need you, baaaaaby, to warm the lonely niiiiight~”

For the world to hear. Well--for Kenma to hear his terrible singing through the noises of the shower running in their shared apartment. He was just getting into the nonexistent music, singing excruciatingly slowly while he lathered his hair into a mohawk, before he stopped.

Why hadn’t Kenma banged on the door for him to shut the fuck up yet? Between the awful singing and the cheesy lyrics, he’d expected his boyfriend to have a complaint by now.

Rinsing off the remaining suds, Kuroo hummed the rest of the song to himself. He still couldn’t believe that he and Kenma were dating. All those years he’d been in love with his best friend, and it turns out it’d been mutual the whole time? He shook his head, muttering “what the fuck” to himself. But he couldn’t bring himself to be too mad about it, because they were together now. And as was his right as both boyfriend and best friend, he was going to annoy the fuck out of Kenma.

He slung a towel over his waist, not even bothering to dry off the drops of water that ran down his chest. He had far more important things to worry about, like bursting into Kenma’s room without knocking.

“What are you up to?”

Kenma sat in his desk chair with his back turned to the door. Kuroo didn’t need to admire him in secret anymore, but it was habit. Some part of his chest fluttered at the sight of his boyfriend so focused on his computer screen, ears covered by headphones and hair piled into a neat bun.

“I’m streaming,” Kenma said, occupied by some fantasy world on his monitor.

“What are you playing?” Kuroo stepped into his personal space, leaning forward and dripping water onto the keyboard.

“Oh my god.”

It was the utter disbelief in his voice that made Kuroo look up, to see wide honey-brown eyes. “What?”

“You’re half-naked and my camera is on.” He gestured to the stream of comments running across the screen. Kuroo caught a “WHO IS THAT” and plenty of tongue and water emojis.

“Oh.” He’d already forgotten he was in a towel. “Well--” He hadn’t signed up to perform for such a wide audience today, but he was going to deliver. “I gotta give the people what they want...Check out these guns.” He posed, flexing his biceps and making kissy faces at the camera.

“Get out,” Kenma pushed him out of the camera’s range. “You’re going to get me banned for pornography.”

He threw his head back into a hyena laugh, making his way towards the door. He was giddy, having achieved his goal of annoying Kenma for the day.

On his way out, he heard his boyfriend speaking into the mic: “The chat is being too much today. That’s just my roommate.”

Kuroo clicked the door closed. Right. Just his roommate.

When he sat at his desk later, trying to study, he knew that Kenma hadn’t meant it that way. They were boyfriends, and they were out as a couple to practically everyone they knew (Bokuto and Hinata had been particularly happy to find out, insisting on double dates that Kuroo agreed to and Kenma was horrified by). But Kenma was a Youtuber and hadn’t yet told his audience, for a number of reasons.

One was for their privacy. As Kenma had explained, “If my fanbase finds out I’m dating someone, they’ll have a lot of opinions about it. And that’s not something I want to deal with until I have to.”

And Kuroo understood that. But there was one reason that he wasn’t exactly comfortable with.

“Plus,” Kenma had said on that cold night when they were both sitting on their hard lump of a couch, “Yuuji and I have this whole thing going on right now. He’s been desperately single for a while and the fact that it looks like we might be dating is helping his views, and mine.”

Now, Kuroo chewed the end of his pen. He and Kenma hadn’t even been together that long, but he felt like he was already putting on a suit for the funeral of their honeymoon phase. When they had finally gotten together, the world didn’t stop for them--Kuroo had to pay attention to his exams, and Kenma had to pay attention to his Youtube career.

So much attention to his Youtube career. If he wasn’t recording a video, then he was editing another video, or streaming. At least Kuroo got to tag along when Kenma vlogged something, though he’d only be there to help with the camera.

But there was one thing he felt good about: they were going to have a Movie Night, a semiregular tradition that neither of them ever skipped. They’d take turns picking bad movies and Kenma would order some food, and Kuroo would cook something healthy in an attempt to balance it out. Last time, Kenma had chosen a film about a murderous car tire and this week, Kuroo planned to outdo him with a 2002 3D animated Christmas movie that was sure to be a heap of hilarious garbage.

Once he’d finally finished balancing the last of the chemical equations, Kuroo found himself in the kitchen, preparing cauliflower. It was a methodical process; washing, chopping, baking (even though their oven kind of sucked and raised the temperature of the entire apartment). He was in the middle of it when Kenma shuffled out of his room.

“Are you cooking?” He tilted his head, sniffing the air.

“Yeah, I found this dope recipe. It’s gonna be so awesome, you’re gonna have to like vegetables.”

“Right,” Kenma snorted. “Listen, I have to skip the movie tonight. I’m gonna hop on Yuuji’s stream and it’s gonna take a while.”

“Oh,” Kuroo said in a voice that he hoped covered the sound of his heart dropping to the bottom of his chest. “Okay.”

“Don’t you have homework to finish anyway?”

“Yeah.” He watched Kenma pluck an apple off the counter and disappear into his room.

Kuroo was left alone with the cauliflower. He lifted the bowl towards his face, staring at the zombie broccoli. “You still like me, right?”

It didn’t answer. He would have been worried if it did.

He continued cooking in silence. One missed movie night wasn’t a big deal, right? They could watch movies any time.

Or that’s what he told himself as laughter echoed from Kenma’s room.

≡

Kuroo thought that he could shake off these negative feelings, but they stuck to him like a wet paper towel.

He’d never been the jealous type in relationships. When his middle school girlfriend confessed that she liked another boy, he let her go with no hard feelings. With all his one night stands, he’d never felt possessive. If anything, he preferred to leave before he or his partner could marinate too much in their shame. But then again, when he’d been with all of those people, his heart had stayed behind in Kenma’s hands.

The word “jealous” left a rotten flavor in his mouth, but he couldn’t deny that was how he felt. When he went back into his room, pulling his laptop towards his face way too close like a preteen looking up boobs, he started researching this Yuuji that Kenma was spending so much time with. The Wikipedia page popped up on Google:

Full name: Yuuji Terushima

Occupation: Youtuber

Alias: PartyHair

Sliding in earbuds, Kuroo clicked around his channel. Immediately, his latest video began to autoplay.

“Welcome back, everyone! It’s your boy Yuuji…”

Kuroo frowned. This guy was fucking smokin’. A chiseled face, perfectly styled bleached hair, and was that a fucking tongue piercing?

He groaned. It was a secret wish of his to get blown by a guy with a tongue piercing. What if it was Kenma’s too?

A voice in his head told him he was being a total dumbass right now. And obviously, he didn’t think that Kenma would ever cheat on him--or actually leave him--based on who around him happened to be hot and have piercings. But Kuroo was still fucking mad about it.

After watching over an hour’s worth of PartyHair’s videos, Kuroo had brewed himself a fat pot of Old Man Grumpiness, complete with a dash of edge and a sprinkle of angst. One that he was still letting simmer when Kenma peeked into his room later.

“Good night.”

“Night,” Kuroo borderline growled, curling up under his blanket.

Kenma quirked an eyebrow in response. “I think you need to sleep.”

Sending incoherent mutters in response, he heard Kenma quietly click the door closed.

Kuroo would be damned if he waited his whole life to get this boy’s attention, only to lose it in a matter of weeks.

But he was still being a little bitch the next day, as Bokuto noted when they got lunch together.

“I’m not being a little bitch,” Kuroo crossed his arms, watching with annoyance as Bokuto scarfed down a burrito. “I’m just--I’m just pissed that he’s spending so much time with some other dude, y’know? We’ve only been dating a few weeks. Shouldn’t our hands always be in each other’s pants?”

Bokuto nearly choked, letting out a boisterous laugh. “Why the fuck would you assume that?”

“I don’t know!”

He shook his head. “Dude, if it really bothers you that much, why don’t you just talk to Kenma about it?”

“Because I don’t want him to think I’m some kind of possessive creep.” He leaned his cheek on his hand dejectedly.

“But you are some kind of pos-”

“Thanks, Bo, I get it.” He stared down at his untouched food.

“Look,” Bokuto gave his shoulder a reassuring squeeze, “relationships are about communication, right? I always tell Akaashi what’s on my mind.”

“Yeah, I know.” Kuroo had heard plenty of times, from Akaashi himself, how it could be a little overwhelming to hear every passing thought about is it possible for two people on opposite ends of the universe to experience sunrise and sunset at the same time? And sometimes it was things like what do you think dirt actually tastes like?

“Me and Kenma don’t really work that way.”

Bokuto grinned knowingly. “Kuroo, which of us has been in a successful long-term relationship?”

He groaned, knowing exactly where this was going. “You.”

“And which of us was miserable until he listened to my genius advice to confess to Kenma?”

“Me…”

“Exactly,” Bokuto shot off some finger guns, before stealing some food off of his plate. “So maybe listen to the love expert this time around.”

He hated the fact that Bokuto was right, that he actually knew more about these things than Kuroo. But he didn’t need the reminder to know that Bo was an expert in loving people, was just natural at being adored and loved by everyone in the room. Kuroo, on the other hand, was not that kind of person. He was a little shit--and glad to be. But he didn’t want to only be a little shit to Kenma. He wanted to be a very nice shit, that smelled like roses. That you might want to cuddle with during a cold night. Okay, he was bad at metaphors.

♠

Kenma slid a hand over his face. “There’s more?”

He’d found himself having a peculiar problem ever since Kuroo had wandered into his room with a towel on. The entire internet was thirsting over his boyfriend.

The chat was spammed with comments, and within a few minutes, his Twitter was flooded with screenshots of Kuroo’s abs.

ana_the_beara: who the f**k is this hottie?! @ kodzuken

kr1kit: @ kodzuken says that’s just his roommate…

chanchan28: oh my god they were roommates

Kuroo had wandered into his room for all of one minute and now he had to deal with hundreds of thirst tweets, questions about his dating life, and speculations about Mr. Wet Abs’ identity. It was all a bit much for him to handle. (Though he did have to give credit to the people who made memes and edits during the stream, seemingly seconds after the whole thing even happened.)

He had a ton of damage control to do, especially considering how he and Yuuji were supposed to be dropping hints that they were together. He hoped that the other Youtuber wouldn’t be mad about it.

“That’s actually so funny,” Yuuji laughed on their phone call, scrolling through the memes. “But it could be a big help! It’ll, like, make more noise, y’know? Get people talking, which will get us more views.”

So that was one thing he didn’t have to worry about. But this whole “possibly-dating-other-online-people” business was starting to feel like more trouble than it was worth, as much as he liked hanging out with Yuuji.

How long did this have to go on for anyway? He’d much rather spend time with Kuroo. Speaking of Kuroo…

Maybe he could go for a movie tonight. So what if his homework was a day late?

♠

Kuroo was on the couch with his laptop, in the middle of solving equations that he should have done earlier, when Kenma walked into the living room.

“Hey, I have some free time. Want to watch a movie?” He settled in beside Kuroo, criss-crossing his legs.

He glanced at Kenma, before returning his gaze to his laptop. “I have work to do.” Shit, that’d sounded too sharp. Now Kenma was looking at him with furrowed brows. “It’s...homework.” He added awkwardly, as though that explained his terrible mood.

“Are you okay?” Came the inevitable question, gentle as it always was, laced with concern.

‘I’m fine,’ was what he’d wanted to say. That was not what came out.

“Oh so you want to hang out with me just because your schedule cleared up?”

He got a look of bewilderment in return, and looked away, his skin heating with embarrassment and anger.

A hand reached over and Kenma slowly closed his laptop, looking at him directly. He couldn’t bring his eyes to meet that catlike gaze.

“Are you saying that I don’t make time for you?”

There was the question. The confrontation.

“Well, you don’t.” As he said it, he felt like a petulant child, throwing a fit over nothing. But he couldn’t stop himself.

“Kuro, we’re both in a busy time right now. You know that.” His voice was measured despite the irritation that colored it.

He turned now, arms crossed and eyes glaring. “Why don’t you go hang out with Yuuji?” He spat the name.

Kenma blinked. Processed. “...You’re not seriously jealous of Yuuji?” Halfway between a question and a statement.

His shoulders scrunched as he sunk into the couch, silent.

♠

“Oh my god. Is that why you've been acting so weird lately?” He took Kuroo’s silence as an invitation to invade his space, gently pushing away the laptop and scooting even closer.

“You’ve been spending so much time with him! And half your followers think you’re fucking.”

“What does it matter if they think that when I’m fucking you?”

Kuroo huffed, turning his head away again.

“Kuroo, what does it matter when you’re the only person I masturbate to?”

He whipped his head back immediately, overcome by a blush that had already infected not only his cheeks, but also Kenma’s.

“I’m the only person you masturbate to?”

Now it was Kenma’s turn to look away. “I--I’ve been into you since forever. You already know that.”

He grinned. “But this is another level, kitty cat.”

Kenma groaned in frustration, his tied-back hair unable to cover the embarrassment on his face. “I’m out of here.”

“Kenma,” Kuroo said, in both shock and amusement at his boyfriend’s reaction. He didn’t have time to say anything else before Kenma was off the couch, out the room--

“Hey!” He scrambled to his feet, following after him. Kenma was fast, but not fast enough. Kuroo caught his hand in the hallway. He was anticipating a struggle, but didn’t receive one--Kenma’s face was turned away, but their hands were nonetheless linked together.

He led his embarrassed boyfriend into the room where this whole mess started, walking past the gaming setup and settling on Kenma’s bed. He sat among the pillows, but the bed’s owner settled in the farthest corner towards the wall, pressing his hands to his cheeks as though to absorb the redness.

“I masturbate to you, too.”

The confession relaxed Kenma’s shoulders, but his voice still came out quietly, “I always wondered--” He interrupted himself, shook his head. “Sometimes, I...I heard you doing it.”

Kuroo raised his eyebrows. “Me masturbating?” The answer to his question came in the form of sheepish nods. “...Did you like what you heard?”

“I--yeah, idiot!”

♠

A pillow landed on Kuroo’s face, earning his laughter. A devilish smile grew on his face. “Well, if you liked that song, I can give you a concert.” He was already shrugging out of his shirt. “You’ve got the best seat in the house.”

Maybe Terushima had a sexy piercing and some of Kenma’s time, but only Kuroo had the honor of gracing his boyfriend’s fantasies. And he was going to prove just how grateful he was.

“Did you see the news articles about your little display in my room?”

Kuroo snorted as he settled back, getting comfortable. “Did I make you jealous?”

“No,” he answered too quickly, crossing his arms. “Idiot.”

He let out his dorky hyena laugh, which, to Kenma, somehow sounded sexy. Before he could say anything else, Kuroo put on an enticing, yet filthy show for him to watch, which he may have participated in. Which may have involved a fantasy of a steamy shower in a lake house that they’d visited as kids.

When the show was over, they both settled back against the pillows breathlessly.

“Kuroo,” He began with a quirked brow, “if you were thinking of shower sex, then why set it in the cabin?”

He felt Kuroo’s chest shake as he laughed. “You’re finding plot holes in my masturbation fantasies?”

“Well, yeah.”

“It’s because...it’s scenic.”

Kenma scoffed at the obvious lie. “Come on, you’re clearly in a sharing mood today.”

“All right,” Kuroo sighed, looking up at the ceiling. “It’s because that summer...when we first visited that cabin...it’s when I first realized I love you.”

His heart skipped a beat. “It was?” Suddenly he racked his brain, trying to remember anything special that happened, any sign that Kuroo’s feelings towards him had changed. But there was nothing. They’d acted like dumb kids during that week away, just like they had every week before that.

“Yeah.” Kuroo smiled. Not that devilish grin of his, but one that was more honest, that spread over his face easily. “It was actually because of your mom.”

“What? Stop joking--”

“It’s not a joke!” He laughed, meeting Kenma’s eyes. “It really was because of her. I wanted to go to the deeper part of the lake without any adult supervision, and she wasn’t having it. It went something like…”

“I want to go in the lake.” Insisted young Kuroo, pointing to the opposite shore. “Me and Kenma wanna see the fish.”

“No, Tetsurou.” Mrs. Kozume tutted. “What if something happens while you’re over there and we can’t help you?”

“But I can swim! I won’t drown.”

She put her hands on her hips. “What if Kenma drowns? Will you be happy if I die from a heart attack?”

“But I didn’t even hear what she was saying,” he chuckled. “Me drowning was one thing, but putting you in danger...that was something I could never risk.”

Kenma had no idea how Kuroo could do it--could make him fall in love more and more.

“I thought about it a lot. But I decided that if someone else drowned--this is gonna sound horrible,” He shook his head, smiling. “If someone else drowned, I wouldn’t be nearly as upset. Except maybe my dad, but. The point is, I cared about you more than anyone else. Your mom must have been happy because I dropped the idea of going that deep into the lake.”

“Can we stop talking about my mom?”

Kuroo broke into another laugh. “Fine, fine. There were a few times at the lake that I thought about kissing you, but I chickened out each time...I really wish you’d been my first kiss.”

Kenma felt his chest expand. He knew how much Kuroo regretted fooling around with other people before they’d started dating. “...You don’t remember, do you?”

He received a curious head tilt in response. “Remember what?”

♠

“My eleventh birthday.”

“Wha--” Kuroo broke off his own question in confusion. “I remember your eleventh birthday. It was a few months after we visited the lake. Didn’t we have a sleepover?”

Kenma nodded. “We did. But that’s not what I mean.”

“Enlighten me.”

“All right. But give me the blanket first. I’m cold.”

“Even while resting in my loving arms?” Kuroo sighed dramatically, before pulling the blanket up over them. “There. Now tell me.”

“Okay,” Kenma tucked a strand of hair behind his ear, looking at a spot on the wall. “My mom bought me that cake. Do you remember? The one with the hedgehog on it.”

“Right. Because you liked Sonic, but you wanted him to look like a real hedgehog.”

“Yeah,” He nodded. “And she only told us to eat one piece so we wouldn’t get hyper. But then she went to sleep and we ate mochi instead?”

“Because it’d take longer for her to notice it was gone.” Kuroo grinned.

“You got this bit of chocolate on your nose. And you were laughing about something--I don’t know what it was, but it felt like a light inside of me switched on.”

“Your gay awakening?”

He snorted. “Basically. But that wasn’t what I wanted to tell you.”

“What, Kenma?” Kuroo whined. “You’re leaving me in suspense here.”

Kenma ignored him. “Do you also remember how you said you wanted to stay up all night long? And then you fell asleep at 11:30.”

“Well we were playing volleyball all day!”

He chuckled. “Well...before you fell asleep, we were talking. You asked me if there were any girls I liked.”

Kuroo’s eyebrows rose upwards. “And what did you say?”

“Anyway, Kuroo...have you ever kissed anyone?” Newly-eleven-year-old Kenma asked as Kuroo yawned.

“Me? No.” He shook his head sleepily.

Kenma turned over to his side, looking at Kuroo intently. Kuroo, with his messy hair covering half his face and his arms tucked behind his head, stared comfortably at the ceiling.

“Is there anyone you want to kiss?” Kenma asked, his heart beating faster.

“Mm, I dunno.” Kuroo turned over to face him. “I’d need practice.”

“We could practice.” He said before he could think better of the words, his pulse in his ears. He started to think of something to say, to cover it up--

“Mhm.”

Kenma’s breath stopped in his lungs. He scrunched up his face, gathered up the courage, and planted a peck right on Kuroo’s mouth. The world tilted, forever changed.

“...Kuroo?”

The only reply he got was a loud snore.

“No way.” Kuroo burst into laughter, much to Kenma’s annoyance. “I was asleep?!”

“You were, you ass.” Kenma rolled his eyes. “It was so embarrassing.”

“I guess that’s why you never mentioned it, huh.” Kuroo said, pulling Kenma’s hair free from its ponytail to run his fingers through it. He supposed that he was forgiven for the actions of his twelve-year-old self when Kenma hummed contentedly and leaned into his touch. “Actually,” he said with a small smile, “I’m kinda happy that happened. Because it means we were each other’s first kiss.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”

“And you’re gonna be my last kiss, too.”

“...Kuroo?” Kenma gave him that cute, furrowed-brow look.

“When we’re all old and wrinkly, you’ll still be the only person I wanna kiss.”

Kenma scoffed, turning over. “What a dork.” But there was no hiding the pink that had bloomed on his cheeks.

≡

“So,” Kenma said to his camera, leaning back in his gaming chair. “Next question: what is Kodzuken’s sexuality? Ah, I might need some help with this one.” He picked up his phone, dialing a number before putting it to his ear. “Can you come in here? I need you for a minute.”

A moment later, his door opened. “You called, kitty cat?”

“I told you to stop calling me that.” Kenma scoffed. “Anyway, come here. I need to tell my viewers what my sexuality is.” He gestured to the camera.

Kuroo squatted beside his chair, rubbing his chin in thought. “Ah, Kodzuken’s sexuality...well, it doesn’t matter, does it? Because he's mine.”

He suppressed a chuckle, but a smile still leaked from his lips. “Thanks for clearing that up.”

“No problem.” He stood, pressing a kiss to Kenma’s cheek. “Don’t be too long, okay? I’m making dinner.”

“Okay.”

Upon hearing the door click closed, he turned back to the camera. “Well, this answers the next question: who is Mr. Wet Abs?” Kenma waved his hands, knowing he’d later edit in pictures of them together. “He’s not just my roommate. He’s my boyfriend.”

And whatever he’d have to deal with--however many questions, comments, or gaudy headlines--it was worth it.

Ending notes: a million thanks to both my good friend ana and the lovely lauren for beta-ing this fic for me <3 and thank YOU for reading! please feel free to let me know what you think :D

my ao3

my instagram: @ spade.yy

#Fic #kuroken #afifc #kuroken fic rec #eyes on you

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mashitandsmashit · 4 years

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America’s Got Talent: Season 15 - Online Auditions

Alright, let's talk about the online auditions...And I don't just mean the ones they actually showed in full on the show last week, I mean all of the ones that were available to watch before the season even began! You can find all the videos here (you can't miss them): https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCsNUxRA5hGXEAZI3Mk_D3JQ/videos

So let's get right to it, shall we...?

10: Erin McCarthy. I'm sure Terry got flashbacks to his Old Spice days (I know it was the other guy, but still...) I guess the horse was a pretty amusing touch, but this lady's so pitchy that I was getting a migraine! All that said, this was a HELL of a way to close out the auditions...

9: Chris & Syd. Well, the guy's a nice singer, and the dog...is good at howling...Otherwise, this is a silly gimmick, and won't likely make it past the Judge Cuts next week...That said, if they do, they're gonna be a real threat in this game, bringing in votes from both the Heartland and dog lovers...

8: Tommy Socks. It's funny how they showed this right after the dude juggling flaming axes and a chainsaw...and yet THIS is the most dangerous-looking act I've seen in these online auditions! Usually, a man his age shuffling around on a hard-tile floor in his socks is a LifeCall waiting to happen! And yet he not only remained on his socked feet, but proved to be very spry on them for his age! This act is a silly gimmick, and he won't make it past the next round, but he still has my respect!

7: Max Major. OH MY GOD! THE FINGER TRICK WORKED ON ME TOO! HOW DID HE DO THAT!? IT COULDN'T HAVE BEEN SIMPLE PHYSICS, HE MUST BE A WIZARD! ...Or a demon, like Simon said...But seriously, this was nothing amazing...I guess the fact that he was able to do this through video chat was impressive enough, although I did just read a comment about an “invisible deck”, which does make it less impressive...Still, I'm curious enough to see what he can do on a live stage...

6: Lauren O'Brien. Impressionists are always fun, even if the novelty of them tends to wear out pretty quickly from round to round...But I enjoyed her, and her impression of Sofia is all the more amusing now that I've gotten to know her more throughout the auditions. (Silly accent aside, she is growing on me as a judge...)

5: Darius. I guess he won't give his last name...(Rucker?) Very likable personality, good song choice, and a very nice singing voice! I wouldn't quite call him my favorite singer of the season, but this was a nice audition...It's actually kind of a shame that we won't likely see him again...At least this season...But if nothing else, maybe I'll actually get a little respect for my miserable time working retail (even though I quit that job months before COVID even broke out...)

4: Alexis & The Puppy Pals. Well, she's not quite at Alexa Lauenburger's level yet, but she's on her way! None of the tricks were anything I haven't seen before, but they were very impressive considering the age of the trainer...How interesting that some of the best dog trainers to come on this show are little girls! All that said...The 80s called, they want their wardrobe back!

3: Aaron...Bonk? (Sorry, I can't see his name spelled out anywhere, only hear Terry pronounce it.) Silly little diagonal mohawk aside, I'm always a sucker for rebellious-looking people juggling chainsaws and flaming weaponry! I'd love to see him do this act on a stage, but since they didn't even show him in last week's quick compilation of online acts, we're probably not even going to see him again...Again, at least until he tries auditioning again for one of the coming years...

2: The Hurd Family. Clearly, the dad and the eldest son are the real talent, while the two younger siblings are just there to cute it up a bit...Some very strong dancing, but sadly they probably won't make it past Judge Cuts since they were given the montage treatment in the official episode...

1: Simon's pajamas. A brilliant spectacle! BRRRRAVO!

This was a fun little collection of talent, and the home-recorded nature of everything kinda added to the charm...The judges were also more entertaining while just casually kicking back at their houses...Like with “Saturday Night Live”, I hope it doesn't have to continue like this, but for now, it was different and enjoyable...(Unfortunately, the Judge Cuts will be more of the same, so I really do wonder how they're gonna handle the remainder of this season...)

Probably the only acts from this who will pass the Judge Cuts next week are Alexis and MAYBE Max (if he can pull off a good enough trick). Everyone else were either silly gimmicks who don't even have the quality of so-bad-it's-good, or weren't shown in full for the official episode last week...

But we'll just see...For now, let's move on to tonight's “Best Of” show...Here are the auditions they compiled for this episode...

1: W.A.F.F.L.E. Crew

2: Double Dragon

3: Brandon Leake

4: Brett Loudermilk

5: Cristina Rae

6: The Spyros Bros

7: Voices of Our City Choir

8: Alan Silva

9: Roberta Battaglia

10: Vincent Marcus

11: Archie Williams

The reason why I listed these acts is because all of them are most likely in the live shows already (not counting the Golden Buzzer acts that we KNOW are already there). The “Best Of” shows tend to be made up of acts that the judges and/or producers liked the most, and by the time they air, the live performers have already been selected weeks or even months ago...So you know they must have liked them enough if they're in this compilation...

Can't say I'm surprised by any of these choices...except maybe Double Dragon; They were a little under my radar...I mean, if it were up to me, this compilation would have included Malik DOPE, Noah Epps, Nolan Neal, Winston, Brothers Gage, Wesley Williams and Sheldon Riley...But Waffle and Spyros are probably my two favorite auditions this season overall, so whatever...

I guess these were pretty good auditions overall...A few boring episodes here and there, but there was still a handful of memorable acts...I'd LIKE to think they'll all make it next week, but we'll just wait and see...The format's going to make things VERY difficult, and we might not even see some of them compete again...

Even the Golden Buzzer choices had some decent variety for once! Only two of them were solo singers (one child, and one adult), and for the other spots we have a choir, a poet and a dance group...Waffle's still the only act that really excites me, but it's refreshing when it's not just four singers and a dance act...Plus, from a cynical business standpoint, the choices all make perfect sense...

As for which of them will win this season...Well, it's a VERY tough call...I'm still rooting for Waffle, and they DO have the right aspects to help them out...But so far, they're not quite raking in the same enthusiasm that other winners have...

Roberta has the most views BY FAR on Youtube...But does she really have the uniqueness or overwhelming hype that previous winners had? While I like her overall, I REALLY don't want her to win this season, because NOTHING about her is distinguishable compared to all previous winners...MAYBE the quality of her singing voice compared to other child singers, but even that is a tough comparison...

Otherwise, we've had child singers with much more unique gimmicks win in the past, she's not writing her own songs (yet), she doesn't have a unique genre...Hell, even in terms of which judge's Golden Buzzer she is, it's hard to root for her; It's only Sofia's first season, and she's basically filling in for Gab Union (whose GB won last season), who in turn filled in for Mel B (whose GB won two seasons before that). Come to think of it, aside from Howie's GB the season before THAT, the only judge who has SEEN their GB win each year was the female minority judge (seeing that NONE of the GB's won in Season 13...though it was probably MEANT to be Howie's again...)

Point being, if there's any season where Simon's GB is to win, it should be the one where he selects an act that has potential to be one of my favorites...I guess it wouldn't hurt to give Heidi a year either...Or hell, more seasons where the winner ISN'T a Golden Buzzer...(You never know...It could be Archie...)

Anyway, that's all I got for now...See you next week when we find out which lucky acts get to perform live...Or...well...as live as they can make it...(God, PLEASE don't make this our “new normal”!)

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starryburglar-archive · 5 years

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Duncan Info

Full name: Duncan Marcus Evans

Species: Human

Age: 20

Sexuality: Bisexual

FC(s): Matthew Daddario || Kovu ( The Lion King 2 )

Bio: From a young age, Duncan has felt like the black sheep of his family. And who can blame him? Everyone else is a respected member of the law, all police officers... and he just happened to have a problem with rules. Rules are meant to be broken, and sometimes it was way more fun than to follow the law and be a member of society. That’s what he always thought.

Even then, Duncan never went that far with his criminal tendencies: vandalism, stealing stuff... sure, but he would never intentionally kill someone and don’t even dare to suggest he‘s one of those psychos who hurt animals for shits and giggles. He’s bad... but he’s not that bad. Deep inside, he has a hard of gold. It’s just way more fun to be chaotic, make fun of others and intimidate others, not to mention he HAD to act strong and tough while he spent most of his years in Juvy.

One day, however, he saw the add that would the beginning of big changes in his life. He saw Chris McClean, a popular TV show host, announcing his next project: a reality TV show where 22 teens would compete for 100.000 dollars. Duncan saw his chance to get out of Juvy ( even if it was only for the entire Summer ) and possibly return with money for his lawyer. And so, he made a “one of a kind” audition, which made him an official participant for Total Drama Island.

He didn’t do bad -- heck, he ended in fourth place from 22, that’s incredible! And, if he had to be honest, the experience wasn’t that bad. I mean, anything is better than being in Juvy, but he made some cool friends along the way like Geoff and DJ, as well as meeting a “one of a kind” type of girl in Courtney.

Due to circumstances too complicated to explain, he was one of the few to return for the second season, Total Drama Action, in which he became a finalist alongside Beth. A year later, he returned for Total Drama World Tour, only to immediately quit due to being constantly annoyed by non-stop bickering and the singing... oh, the singing. Unfortunately for him, he was eventually forced to return mid-season ( ergo, forced to sing ) and here is where his bad judgment got the better of him.

Looking back, he regrets the love triangle fiasco between him, Courtney and Gwen, but at the time he didn’t give a fuck what others would think. These reckless mistakes and acting too idiotic would continue in All-Stars, the fifth season of Total Drama and the last time he appeared in live TV. Fortunately, despite how stupid he was acting, Duncan was able to ponder over his own attitude recently... and how not worth it was. Like, sure, he has always been sarcastic, a little shit and enjoys making fun of others to some extent... but that was when he didn’t give a crap about the world, about the future or the people around him.

The catalyst to his “change of heart” was remembering Mal, the top dog of Juvy -- not even he dared to cross paths with him and was fortunate enough to remain low-key while he was there. Knowing what the guy was capable of made him reconsider his actions, leaving aside his pride and “tough bad boy facade” to help others, especially Zoey. Despite his best efforts, however, Mal eventually learned about it made a plan to have him kicked out. Well, not only did he succeed, but he also made Duncan go back to jail... even if this time he managed to get out early due to good behaviour.

Now as a free man, while not changing one bit of his physical appearance ( Like, c’mon, the mohawk and the piercings are dope as hell ), he IS trying to move on and have a new life... a better life. He began to work at a tattoo and piercing shop as an apprentice, slowly getting to do his own work and having his own customers. The few people that don’t outright hate him from Total Drama still keep in contact with him, much to his luck. He’s still a jackass... but he’s a better jackass than when he was 16.

Note: Follows canon events up to a certain extent, diverges heavily in the events of All-Stars and the aftermath of that.

[ MAIN || INBOX || HEADCANONS || VISAGE || MUSINGS ]

-----------------------------------------------

V001: Delinquent Without a Cause

Default main verse. Takes place after all the events of the Total Drama seasons he participated in ( for more information on my divergence in All-Stars, read the bio ). He’s currently living on his own in a small apartment, with a German Sheppard he adopted from a shelter while it was still a puppy, and working full time at a tattoo and piercing shop.

V002: I Wanna Be Famous

Mid-show verse. For anything or any interactions that happen within the context of Total Drama, in any of the seasons he participated in: TDI, TDA, TDWT or TDAS.

V003: Last Surprise

Persona 5 verse. His lawyer, when speaking to the judge who sentenced him to 2 more years in Juvy, said that travelling abroad would do good for him. Something about different environments and different routines, or something like that. Duncan didn’t ponder on it until he had arrived in Japan, and even then he only REALLY thought about what this was doing to him months later when his life changed in the most unexpected way.

It all started with Duncan doing something stupid. He was getting irritated by the idea of being a transfer student in a country he barely knows, to which he can barely follow a conversation with his basic Japanese... this led him to the shady deals of Junya Kaneshiro. However, what seemed like a good idea at first turned into a nightmare for him. If his lawyer learned about his, he would be brought back to Canada to complete his sentence behind bars... heck, they would probably make it longer!

But then... something unexpected happened. One of his classmates, a dyed blond punk questioned him about the blackmail ( first of all, how did he learn about it?? ) -- he only told him the truth in private, to warn him of the dangers and to make him stay away. He fucked himself over, he wouldn’t let others go through the same if he could avoid it. However, not only did he encounter that dude again, but discover a different reality from their own: the Metaverse.

That’s how he met the Phantom Thieves, how he learned about their identities and what they actually did to change people’s hearts. And the craziest bit? He, too, had the potential. Seems like his rebellious nature had awoken this “potential” years ago, however now it was actually manifesting due to being in the Metaverse. He was already a rebel, why not just continue being one? And like that, he ripped off the mask that formed on his face, his clothes chancing to something more leathery-like, and now having a large three-headed hellhound standing beside him: Cerberus. He was now known as “Demon”.

NOTE: He’s 16 in this verse and nothing from Total Drama happened in this verse. Not even TDI.

OUTFIT // MASK // ARCANA: The Hanged Man

-----------------------------------------------

CONNECTIONS

Courtney :: [ Pom ]

:: Duncan ♥ We stick to our guns and we love like battleships [ Courtney ( floofymuses ) ] ::

Gwen :: [ Star ]

pending tag

Lynn Darcy :: [ Bae ]

pending tag

Lyle Darcy :: [ Bae ]

pending tag

Ann Takamaki :: [ Josie ]

:: Duncan ♥ Don’t think twice baby [ Ann ( galaxyveind ) ] ::

Magnolia Grey :: [ Josie ]

:: Duncan ♥ Dirty dancing [ Maggie ( galaxyveind ) ] ::

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laukora1030 · 5 years

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Endgame 2

So, first of all, what the fuck? Jesus Christ, I am not ready to watch this movie.

Recently I reblogged a small post I did on the first trailer that you guys might not have seen, but I don’t care because I need to vent. That post was me talking about the first trailer. And I intended to do this post when the trailer came out but I haven’t had any fucking time, and tonight, considering I have no homework, I decided to do it. So, let’s go.

Let’s start with, I don’t think the trailer showed much, as in, important information, anyway. While it gave good info, like the whereabouts of Tony, Nebula, and Carol, I don’t think it gave a lot of info regarding the movie.

The first scene that appears is one of my favorite scenes in the whole MCU, Tony not giving up. The scene with the Mark I all destroyed. And the voice over is so dope. Everything Tony is saying got to me. Also “realized I love you”? This movie will be the end of me.

I want to mention something before I continue. I once was speaking to my sister and she told me that when red is really remarkable in a scene like it looks out of place, it means someone will get hurt. So, having the first part of the trailer be all black and white with the only color showing being red makes my heart ache.

Next, Peggy Carter, my queen, speaking. Scenes from The First Avenger showing up and then we see Clint and possible Lila Barton in the farm. I read a lot about people believing she was Kate Bishop, and I thought that, even if she’s not, which she isn’t, it might be MCU’s way to introduce the new generation of Avengers. You know? Instead of Kate Bishop being the new Hawkeye, they use Lila. Also, let’s talk about how that probably is the last time Clint sees his family before the Snap. Because after that we have the scene where he’s Ronin and I guess it kind of gives it away.

Thor in Asgard. Thor’s hair. The Snap. Sam disappearing, Okoye’s look of terror. “I saw all these people die.” Thor is young and has seen death like it is a normal thing. I hear his voice and hear defeat. I am not sure how the sun will shine on him again, but I believe it will.

Note to self: I fucking hate Natasha’s hair. It looks horrible. I know some of you liked it, but I didn’t. It just feels off. I hate it.

Scott seeing the “missing” posters. He is so lost. And I hope Cassie didn’t disappear in the Snap because everything Scott has done he has done it for her and Thanos will not live if she was dusted.

Clint and Natasha in the Quinjet. (Unrelated. You guys think we’ll finally learn about Budapest in this movie?) Clint running, and Rocket with Rhodey, being happy with the giant gun. ANd also, someone noticed he’s wearing a suit from the comics, and I find it really cool.

“Whatever it takes” says Steve, and we see my blue baby (Nebula) fighting someone who I hope is Thanos because I hope she kills him. Also, her war scream? Incredibly hot.

“Whatever it takes” says Clint. Let’s speak briefly about Barton’s mohawk (I think that’s what it is called). What the hell happened to him? He looks weird.

“Whatever it takes” says Natasha, while she practices in the firing range even though her guns will do nothing on Thanos. We also see Steve strapping his shield because I refuse to see anything else, and Antman running on a pencil and jumping to God know where.

“Whatever it takes” says Tony and I die. We see them all walking in the Quantum suits, that by the way, I hate. They look so weird. Seeing Steve taking the lead is not something I was expecting, but at the same time I was, does anyone understand? We see Nebula and Tony being back, which made my heart happy. Also, does anyone knows where the hell are Bruce, Thor, and Rocket and why are they not wearing the suit?

And last but not least, the scene that made me realize I am a hopeless pansexual. Thor meeting my new wife Carol. Jesus fuck. Carol with straight hair makes me weak on the knees, and Thor’s just to perfect. Also, has anyone noticed that this scene, Thor calling Stormbreaker, is a lot like the scene in Ragnarok where he calls Mjolnir to uncover Loki? I feel, deep in my heart I know I am wrong tho, that he was trying to see if it was his brother. What could be an actual reason as to why he did that is that he was trying to prove Carol, to see if she was powerful enough, or just at least not easily scared.

Unrelated note: the little smirk she has and the smile Thor has after saying “I like this one”? I am happy with my life. I can die peacefully.

Well, that was all. Thanks for coming to my Ted talk.

#endgame #avengers #avengers endgame #trailer #marvel

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ariesbilly · 6 years

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Strangerdale is so good but what I really wanna see is fred and fp fitting into Hawkins in the 1980s!!! There isn’t enough 80s parentdale content. And Fred and Steve are so similar in my mind: cute, popular playboys with a secret heart of gold pining after a girl who won’t say “I love you” back and ignoring their sexual tension with members of the same sex.. I wanna see them at Hawkins high and investigating weird lab shit and going to parties in the suburbs.

But also love what you said once about Fred and FP canonically being pre-teens while Billy and Steve are teenagers. The thought of an older Billy mentoring a baby FP and taking pains to set him on a different path from where he ended up because he knows they’re too much the same is heartbreaking.

i have been thinking about this message.... all fucking day

first of all i wanna say that at my core i truly believe from a “realistic” canon standpoint (everyones still gay fight me ras) fred was 100% oblivious to any sexual tension going on between him and fp in high school or at the very least he was constantly sent into a gay panic about it. and where billy is constantly going “look at me, steve” “talk to me, steve” “acknowledge me, steve” fp is the complete opposite with fred. he just suffers in silence

and steves issue isnt so much that he’s hung up on nancy, its more that he’s now so insecure about relationships that he doesnt know how to navigate being in one anymore. which is why he and billy stick to friends with benefits for the longest time- and they were getting the benefits long before they were friends. but fred? fred wants to be in a relationship all the time. he’s ready to say i love you to every pretty face he sees. he just cant seem to ever get himself into the relationship he’s supposed to be in. (and poor fp is forever internally screaming “IM RIGHT HERE YOU DOPE!”)

as for the lab shit... ho boy. i see fred as being once again very similar to steve when it comes to getting involved. fred by nature isnt a fighter but the minute he sees some big ass slimy alien looking creature coming after his friends? its. going. down. also imagine fred and steve with their matching baseball bats. adorable.

billy and fp of course use fighting monsters and government agents as a way to let out their rage. billy no longer feels the need to attack innocent people for so much as looking at him wrong (he still struggles with lashing out but he’s getting better) and fp just figures this is cheaper than therapy. (oh but you best believe fp will end up having panic attacks from all these monsters and other worldly dimensions and its something he and steve share and eventually end up confiding in each other).

also if theres a situation that arises where they need to question one of the lab workers, steve and fred end up playing good cop to billy and fps bad cop.

and the parties! billy and fp off to the side drinking their beers judging whatever rich suburban assholes house they ended up in while fred and steve are out on the dancefloor bopping to glorious 80s synth pop.... and no matter how much billy and fp complain about the music their boys look cute as hell and theres no denying it.

oh and theyre all on the basketball team.

aesthetically i see fred being that all american boy next door type but not in the preppy way steve is. its definitely a lot more casual and laid back. fp i see being punk. not extreme punk like mohawk and piercings, think more along the lines of the ramones. i feel like fp and jonathan would be friends.

and ugh god yes billy being a mentor is so good always !!! who better to help troubled youths than a former troubled youth?! even the idea of billy being forced into some after school program where he has to deal with kids because he got arrested and this is his community service, and he’s assigned to fp and at first the both of them hate it and billys only here because he doesnt want to go to jail, but eventually he and fp start warming up to each other and billy finds out what an ass fps dad is and billy also suspects fp might be into boys because of the way he’s always going on about his best friend fred andrews... billy starts to really see himself in this kid and now has this overwhelming need to protect him that just snuck up on him... :’)

#i love all this so much #strangerdale #briana answers things #Anonymous

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smokeybrand · 3 years

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Smokey brand Select: Deck the Halls

10. Edward Scissorhands

9. A Christmas Story

8. Home Alone

7. Die Hard

6. Scrooged

5. Trading Places

4. Gremlins

3. The Long Kiss Goodnight

2c. A Charlie Brown Christmas

2b. How the Grinch Stole Christmas

2a. The Nutcracker

1b. Batman Returns

1a. The Nightmare Before Christmas

Honorable Mentions: Tokyo Godfathers, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang, Bad Santa, Elf, Carol, Anna and the Apocalypse

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lovecanbesostrange · 6 years

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Fandom Meme thingie: Grey's Anatomy, Leviathan Trilogy, Strangers in Paradise, Dishonored games and the Nightmare on Elm Street movies

Uh, that’s a lot of fandoms, yay. Also I really hate question #6. Maybe people should tell me…

Grey’s:01. The first character I fell in love with: Cristina Yang :302. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Alex Karev, that stupid asshole with no good qualities… oh no, he grew up and is awesome with kids and a good doctor and actually deserves love and happiness, dammit03. The character I’d slap: Owen, I think he’s mostly a good dude, and he should find a woman who wants this super traditional home/family life, but OMG all these asshole moments with people he supposedly loves UGH04. Who are my 3 favorite characters: Cristina - Callie - Jo05. What are my 3 favorite pairings: Jo/Alex, Miranda/Ben, Cristina/operating06. Which character you’re most like: I wish I had the ambition of any of them, my greatest goal in life - in relation to Grey’s characters - is to be a solid rock for people in crisis the way Meredith is, I think that’s something I have in me (except the sort of crisis me and loved one have faced so far were less dramatic)07. The coolest thing about the canon: it’s a lady-place

Leviathan:01. The first character I fell in love with: Deryn Sharp of course02. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Alek, I liked how he fit into the story, but I didn’t care about him as a character for most part of the series03. The character I’d slap: I didn’t think I’d ever say this, but Tesla, for being an idiot04. Who are my 3 favorite characters: Deryn - Dr. Barlow - Lilit05. What are my 3 favorite pairings: Deryn/flying - Barlow/science - and like every rational person ever I would’ve been here for Deryn/Lilit romance…06. Which character you’re most like: eight year old me liked to be mistaken for a boy, because I could get away with more stuff playing outside, is that Deryn’y enough?07. The coolest thing about the canon: the way history and fantasy come together, all the WWI factions and then dividing them as Clankers and Darwinists, so I get to read about cool machines and cool beasties at the same time

SiP:01. The first character I fell in love with: Katchoo, who else02. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: Casey, she was the perfect new nightmare girlfriend, super dumb and extra fit, but then it turns out she’s such a nice person and she can make Tambi smile and just, yay, Casey03. The character I’d slap: Freddy, just because (also I’m scared of all the people who really deserve it)04. Who are my 3 favorite characters: Katchoo - Francine - David (oh look, the three main characters are actually the best people, hooray)05. What are my 3 favorite pairings: Katchoo/Francine - Katchoo/David - Francine/food (I’m saying this, because Francine/David feels wrong in my head, but all three together as the poly-pile they should be works perfectly)06. Which character you’re most like: I want to be Aunt Libby someday, so I can get my own junkyard07. The coolest thing about the canon: that SiP, Echo, Rachel Rising and Motor Girl actually share a universe (which means for this meme I could expand the list of characters to choose from

Dishonored:01. The first character I fell in love with: I think the very first was Cecilia, because I started using the heart on everybody, which is where I fell in love with the world in general, because everybody has a story02. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: this is weird, but Corvo. The silent stubbly protagonist, who gets to do all the stuff and is super awesome, but he got tortured and now revenge, ah smells like man pain… at first I didn’t think I’d care for him much, but reading all these things about him, the interactions he has, and well I played him as a good guy first - I love the rat dad now03. The character I’d slap: Hiram Burrows, the king idiot of idiots; Pierro, for being a creepy dude; Havelock, because he’s an asshole; Madame Prudence, that bitch; Mortimer Ramsey, the traitor aaaaah; Luca Abele, because he’s everything that’s wrong with aristocrats; Timsh, the corrupt bastard; also the Outsider, that drama ho….. there would be a lot of slapping (probably because there’s a lot of murdering to do)04. Who are my 3 favorite characters: Empress Emily Drexel Lela Kaldwin, first of her name (ﾉ^ヮ^)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧ - Billie Lurk/Meagan Foster - the Heart/Jessamine Kaldwin05. What are my 3 favorite pairings: Corvo/Jessamine - Emily/Alexi (sorry Wyman, you cool, but come on, those two had a thing going) - Billie/redemption 06. Which character you’re most like: I’m probably a servant in the Boyle mansion, who gets easily spooked and clips through a wall in panic when a man in an assassin mask starts blinking through the house killing guards…07. The coolest thing about the canon: the level of depth in general, you can find so many books and letters and notes and get lost in the history of it all, so the fact that the canon provides lots and lots of info is super dope (also awesome superpowers)

NoES:01. The first character I fell in love with: I saw these films in a super weird sequence (with just the last part of 5 first), so it was Kristen from #4, I guess02. The character I never expected to love as much as I do now: 03. The character I’d slap: can I say Nancy? but in that very specific moment in time right before she falls for the most obvious trap and gets herself killed, girl no! also everybody in part 2 for existing in general and wasting my time04. Who are my 3 favorite characters: Nancy :3 - well in his own way Freddy himself, as the child killing villain he is!! - Taryn, I always had a thing for that mohawk and the knives (I should say Tracy from part 6, but that has some fucked up nostalgia behind, so I’d rather go with Taryn here)05. What are my 3 favorite pairings: Sheila/Debbie (because totally a thing) - Kristen/Rick - Alice/getting out alive (#4 is such a teen movie, look at all these couples)06. Which character you’re most like: Carlos, because I too have a problem folding maps back and feel there’s more paper than there should be07. The coolest thing about the canon: the Dream Warriors concept

#in the memetime #flusendieb

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watusichris · 7 years

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Replacements, 1st Time Around

In 1983, the Replacements hit Los Angeles for the first time. I followed them around for a week or two. This story, from the Dec. 2, 1983 issue of the Los Angeles Reader, is being posted in acknowledgement of the band’s splendid live album “For Sale,” which is being released on Friday by Rhino and is utterly tremendous. ********** During a Midwestern winter, when the seasonal temperatures gravitate toward the arctic, a rock ‘n’ roll band has to play hard just to stay warm. Judging from the rather limp records that emanate from the region, there are a lot of frozen butts in the heart of the nation. Midwestern rock hasn’t had much to offer since the garage-band heyday of Chicago’s Shadows of Knight and Minneapolis’ Litter, besides the pre-punk spasms of the MC5 and the Stooges.

Last week, though, a Minneapolis band pulled through L.A. and proved that there’s no energy crisis in their particular basement. The Replacements knocked out four superior sets of go-for-the-throat rock ‘n’ roll in the local clubs. I’ll borrow one of their song-title catch phrases: Color me impressed.

The Replacements have been together since 1979. They’ve released three records’ worth of original material (two albums and an EP) that could blow Violent Femme Gordon Gano’s precious little gonads from here to Maine. After hearing them on vinyl and in concert, there’s no doubt as to who the true Kings of the Great White North are.

The records, all on the Twin Cities-based Twin/Tone label, are all raw, unmanicured productions that opt for scurvy power rather than flat professionalism. Sorry Ma, Forgot to Take Out the Trash, the debut album released in 1981, is a sort of song cycle of 18 tunes about cruising, partying, romance, dope, drunkenness, and the other senseless pursuits of adolescent Midwesterners. Its 1982 follow-up, The Replacements Stink, is a harder, louder eight-song EP that refines the first record’s sound into a murderous ball-peen screech. The latest LP, Hootenanny, is a lovably sloppy, diversely programmed collection incorporating blues, country, and folk elements hitherto unheard on the group’s recordings.

The great virtue of the Replacements’ records is a charming insouciance about polish, cleanliness, subtlety, taste, and other non-rock ‘n’ roll concerns. The band comes on like a disarming juvenile trash compacting of the pre-’66 Rolling Stones, the New York Dolls, the Stooges, the Sex Pistols, and the Ramones. Crudity, humor (much of it self-deprecating), velocity, and high volume are the hallmarks of the Replacements’ style. The Dolls are their most obvious role model: The ear-scraping abandon of Bob Stinson’s guitar recalls Johnny Thunders at his most frenetic, and vocalist Paul Westerberg’s drunken, hoarse warbling is comparable to the caterwauling of the pre-solo David Johansen.

Westerberg writes the lion’s share of the band’s material, and it is largely terrific stuff. He’s at his best when confronting the trials of Everykid, whether goofing off at the bus stop (“Hangin’ Downtown”), lusting after the girl who works at the corner store (“Customer’), lamenting the necessities of lower education (“Fuck School”), or confronting the idiocies of average teenage social behavior (“I Bought a Headache” and “Color Me Impressed”).

Though many of the numbers are smash ‘n’ snarl thrashers, there’s enough variety in the Replacements’ sound to keep them out of sticky-floored identipunk corners. Many of Westerberg’s most effective and affecting compositions are ballads – “Johnny’s Gonna Die” (a premature elegy for the graveyard-bound Johnny Thunders, on Sorry Ma), “Go” (on Stink), and “Willpower” (on Hootenanny). The group also shows an increasing affinity for inebriated blues and boogie; the standard mode of Midwestern barroom bashing is utilized to ironic effect in “White and Lazy” (which sounds remarkably like the Dolls’ boozy remake of Bo Diddley’s “Pills”) and “Take Me Down to the Hospital.” Westerberg is also reportedly a prolific writer of folkish solo material: This side of his style is reflected on record in the non-LP B side “If Only You were Lonely” and the caustic, basement-tapey self lampoon “Treatment Bound,” which concludes Hootenanny: “We’re getting’ noplace as fast as we can/We get a nose full from our so-called friends.”

This daffy catalog of styles, as well as some wonderfully blatant cops (everything from the Dragnet theme to “Frere Jacques,” “Oh Darling,” and “The Twist”), combines with Westerberg’s nose-thumbing take on dumb youth angst and the band’s flat-out, heated performance methodology to make for rock ‘n’ roll that is alert, aware, pointed, and funny. On their records (and I wouldn’t part with any one of them), the Replacments are unbeatable. Onstage, even when approaching the boundary line of chaos, they’re among the most special of live bands.

I don’t know where you suckers were last week, but the Replacements shows in L.A. were without exception under-attended. Well, you blew it, chumps, and don’t let it happen next time. This is a band that can knock you out of your Nikes even on the slowest and worst of nights, and they shouldn’t be missed.

Visually, they’re an unprepossessing lot. Paul Westerberg is an emaciated rail who looks like he rolled out of bed just before the gig; his sole concession to onstage fashion is some poorly applied eye makeup, which just emphasizes the beatness of his wardrobe (faded flannels and T-shirts and well-worn jeans) and the comatosity of his appearance. His face is perpetually creased by a knowing smirk; like Popeye, he speaks and sings out of the corner of his mouth.

Guitarist Bob Stinson is the group’s fashion plate: He usually plays in a polka-dotted skirt, or in his jockey shorts. The pocket of his blue denim jacket holds his toothbrush. His brother Tommy, the group’s bassist, and drummer Chris Mars are little babyfaces (the junior Stinson joined the group when he was 12). For all his youthful appearance, Mars possess a deadpan wit: Shortly after Kristine McKenna pegged him as a Yale student in the Times, Mars showed up on the Music Machine stage wearing a T-shirt hand-lettered in Magic Marker with “YAIL UNIVERSITY.”

“Loose” is a term that can be used to describe a typical Replacements set. Some songs do not so much end as break down in a clatter of drums and a squawk of feedback. Westerberg and the young Stinson are often to be found in conversation during a guitar solo. Blown key changes occur with regularity. The band is frankly casual about its performance demeanor. At the Music Machine last Wednesday, Tommy Stinson leaned over in midtune to grab a beer, and his bass immediately came both unplugged and unstrapped; he unhurriedly refitted himself, in time to pluck the last two notes of the song.

This is definitely a group who hold to their professed sub-professional standing (“The label wants a hit/But we don’t give a shit,” they sing in “Treatment Bound”), but their carelessness and blithe disregard for even the basics of showmanship never interfere with the impact of the show.

They heave their way through a set at eardrum-crushing volume, with Westerberg, his vocal cords ready to snap at any moment, screaming to be heard over the din. Bob Stinson’s Fender spits out withering clusters of spike-toned notes, underpinned by Westerberg’s brutishly loud rhythm guitar. And Tommy Stinson and Mars provide a relentless backup. As wiggy as the band can get, its musicianship is generally of the highest caliber.

They provide more than a few laughs, too. They’ll switch instruments to play the title track from Hootenanny. They’ll rock out on “The Marine Corps Hymn,” essay Hank Williams’ “Hey Good Lookin’” or T. Rex’s “Twentieth Century Boy,” or perform a country-and-western version of their “God Damn Job” (lyric: “I need a god damn job/I need a god damn job/God damn it/God damn it/God damn/ I need a god damn job”).

I got hooked on the Replacements’ energy and sharp-incisored humor at Club Lingerie two weeks ago, where, looking a bit singed from the road, they wowed some of the assembled waxworks with a ragged but involving set. I wound up following the group around town during the next few days. They did a sizzling marathon hour-and-a-quarter show at the Cathay de Grande on Monday night, and a tough, nutty, erratic one at the Music Machine on Wednesday.

Musically, they were at low ebb at their return Cathay engagement on Thanksgiving, but that set may have been the most revealing of all. The house was filled with Mohawked dolts panting for Social Distortion. The Replacements, who could easily have mowed their audience down with a show comprising their short, fierce, hardcore-styled tunes, instead opted for the opposite tack. They began the show with the blues shuffle “White and Lazy” and made their alienating way through every ballad, country tune, and slow number in their repertoire. The leftover turkeys in the crowd were gobbling as the set oozed its way to a conclusion, but it was the Replacements who were having the last laugh on the fashion-conscious ex-surfers in leather. As Tommy Stinson said in mock admiration, “Wow, punk rockers.”

Remember when punk rockers gave their audiences the raspberry (or worse), disassembled rigid expectations, and guffawed at the status quo? At the Cathay on Turkey Day, the Replacements proved something besides the fact that they are a great rock ‘n’ roll band. They proved that they may just be the last real punk band in America. Come back soon, guys – there are some other folks in this sleepy town who could use some waking- and wising-up.

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asrafarel · 7 years

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Galra analysis - part 2 - general anatomy

N.B: I use “human” as a comparison unit in terms of anatomy. Also, I drew Haxus and he’s beautiful. *flutters eyelashes* (second “drawing” under the cut)

(I promise, I have an explanation. Check under the cut. TT)

Galran distinctive features

The built

We’ve seen Galras are pretty different from each other and understanding the full spectrum of the race is going to be pretty difficult. Fortunately, there is one constant that can help us distinguish them from any other alien specie we met until now: it’s their lanky long built.

This is actually the sole common point for all sub-groups.

In term of human anatomy, when you’re standing properly (back straight with your arms resting on your sides), elbows reach around the last ribs and your fingers reach around mid-tights. Galra’s elbows are reaching to their waist and the fingers to the knees, which makes it notably longer than either humans’ or Alteans’ (who have nearly the same features anyway).

I double checked and all Galras seen until now are the same. Yes, even Morvok. Only Sal and Varkon, who are drawn with lots of inconsistencies, sometimes have their arms human sized but it’s pretty safe to assume they are the same as other Galras. Some Galras are looking more elongated than others due an optical illusion accentuated by their skinny silhouette (yes, you Throk). Also, the armors designs can be very tricky on the eyes.

The crest

Another recurring feature in most sub-groups is the crest: 50% of the Galra cast has it. Varkon, Haxus, Throk, Thace, Prorok and Sendak all have the same crest. It the most common and seems to be some kind of bony outgrowth covered in skin; much like the Punched Warden’s head but more protruding. Not 100% sure, but it doesn’t seem to be hair.

The commander from Olkarion is a difficult one. All lizard-type2 have hair, so it’s nearly impossible to tell if it’s a haircut or a regular crest. I honestly have no answer. Kolivan and Commander Sideburns have the same spiky crest: it’s a succession of tiny spikes on middle-top of the skull supporting the theory regarding bony outgrowths.

The commander from Kerberos has the most unique: it’s literally a horned mohawk.

Ulaz has no crest but a splendid mohawk. Maybe there is a crest under the hair, but it’s very unlikely since even Sendak (who’s covered in fur) has a regular hairless crest.

I’m not sure whether Zarkon’s shell-like skin should be considered a crest or not and I don’t think we’ll ever know what’s under Sal’s wild bangs.

The eyes

This is an interesting point because Galra yellow eyes might very well be unnatural. At this point in the serie, only 2 Galras have normal eyes : Commander Kerberos and Sal. Commander Kerberos’ still have a faint yellowish tone but it’s clearly not the same as others (more like the white of his eyes is yellow). Sal’s is completely white. Also, note that they don’t have the dark lining around their eyes like their yellow-eyed fellows do.

We learned from the Beta-Traz episode that having purple eyes is the result of doping from refined quintessence, so basically it means that Zarkon is doing drug. :I Zarkon’s eyes were yellow in the past and thanks to the Astral plane flashes, we also know that yellow-eyed Galra still have pupils.

If I have to reach to a conclusion, I’d say that yellow eyes are the result of raw quintessence consumption. This.is.but.a.theory.

Sub-groups

I’m going to develop on the main sub-groups here. Characters belonging to their own sub (like Antok, Sendak, Zarkon, etc..) will get their own post in another part.

Lizard-type 1 & 2

This sub-group is very interesting because it shares a lot of common points with Zarkon. Most notable are the ears, the bi-colored skin and facial outgrowths. They’re all blue-skinned and have hair and beards (or at least the galra equivalent), but no eyebrows. Outgrowths are scaly spots on their face or horned/spiky crests so far. Variants of those are likely to exist. Hair are trimmed and/or shaved.The Beta-Traz Warden is displaying facial markings; it’s unclear whether this is a skin peculiarity or simple paint/tatoo. At first, I thought it was the second option because he’s the only one having some and his design screams 80’s cyber-punk fashion so, if that’s the real inspiration, paint is mandatory. BUT, and I nearly missed it, Commander Olkarion’s body is red! Meaning he has a body marking! So those patches of colors may very well be just like Kolivan’s: “plain” colored skin.

Ears: 2 parts 1b. Check the change: he ended with “fin” ears

Outgrowths: scales et spikes

Hair(s): still don’t know about Commander Olkarion

Patches of colored skin: turns out they both have 2 different colors

Manta-Ray type

Why manta-ray? Because of Haxus’ head: it looks like a swimming Manta-ray. :l Don’t believe me? Check this.

This type has a smooth, hairless complexion. Morvok and Throk are displaying some kind of bangs and ponytails, it hardly seems to be hair but some kind of weird equivalent. Could very well be the same as their ears, if those are really ears and not hair actually (we have no clue and this is pretty tricky). Throk is displaying facial markings unlike the others, no clue if it’s paint or a racial feature (it’s the same color as his skin though). 3 on 4 of them have a crest, but only Haxus has eyebrows and Morvok’s ears are really curly.

Ears: floppy and, in Morvok’s case, curly

Crest: only Morvok is lacking one

Skin: Face is another color from the body. 3bis. Haxus and Throk have a third darker shade for their hand, Morvok’s hands are the same color as his face and Varkon’s are the same as his ears.

Hair?: whatever this is only Throk and Morvok have those and since Varkon shares traits with lizard-type, he’s got a beard

Hairy-Type

It’s still unclear to me whether they should be linked to the manta-ray type or not, they got a lot in common and -as said earlier- basically the manta-ray type could just be them but hairless.

Eyebrows can be fused with hair, but it’s not mandatory. Their faces varies a lot more than other sub-groups: Thace is very human-like, Prorok got orc-like features and Sal is kind of a furry-but-no. Other sub-groups members are closer in terms of design.

They’re obviously linked to the furry type, especially Prorok who has traits a lil bit alike Sendak’s (connection of ears and skull and somewhat defined ears) and Sal who is fluffy as hell with same defined ears.

Ears: covered in hair (or hairy in Sal’s case), various attach to the skull

Beard: I have no clue if Prorok shave or if this is, in fact, facial marking

Hair: well, those are definitely hair, they all stop around mid-neck (Prorok too)

Eyebrows: either well defined (Thace) or merged in hair (Sal) or over hair (Prorok)

And this closes part 2. Any review and feedback welcomed! Next part focuses on the BoM. <3 @candyfoxdraws glad you like it!

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the-one-blog-to-rule-them-all · 7 years

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KRISTIAN LIVEBLOGS THE ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW: LET’S DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN 2016 MOVIE

don’t go in here if you stan for the actors bc i shit on them except for like two of them LMAO but not a bad experience all around

i'm gonna try hard not to be a bitch this whole time but my first thought on this is that it's too clean cut LMAO this bitch is talented at singing but i'm not interested in her perfection also i think it's cute intro bc of the posters of the movies also the aesthetic of the movie goers is good girl in the background looked like the ugly chick from crybaby..... hatchet face?? there's like SIX PEOPLE IN THIS THEATER but it's a nice theater she didn't turn her flashlight off lmfao @ them for thinking people would rly be that excited about this movie coming on SORRY I'M NOT BITCHING yo brad is mcFucking cute as hell "she said i do, now i'm doing" put that on my car if y'all don't run after my car like that .... smh yo brad is MCFUCKING CUTE it's those brown eyes i swear lol her struggling to get the glove off, that was cute once again the music is waaaay too polished that's gotta be frank under that cloak GRAVE IN THE BACK SAYS COTTON CAHTUN... THICK CLOUDS OF CAHTUN this funeral procession is following their ass everywhere wth THAS MY BOY!!! THAS TIM RIGHT THERE!!! the audience going wild for this part actually makes sense "life is pretty cheap to that type" good work on the line bitch.. u had a blowout?? i know that feel binch!!! i like their delivery in this scene it's so on the nose LMAO mood they're BOOKIN it to this house LMAO WASTE NO TIME WE GOTTA GO!!! EMO RIFF RAFF LARKGJLARJGKLAJER DOES HE HAVE STREAKS IN HIS HAIR wow his voice is killer tho he's putting his heart into that scene LMAO yo i'll say it again brad is way too cute holy fuck oh shit !! is the castle an old theater or something?? that's interesting okay lady in the bg who is that behind tim i'm not super into her presence and that scream LMAO Riff raff is me "yesh" riff raff is reall doing his best WOW BRAD IS CUTE that riff raff hair is killing me inside BLUE MOHAWK IS DOPE I LIKE HIM this is the most lifeless version of time warp i ever heard in my life this is a really diverse crowd tho which is neet columbias delivery on her part was really good tbh riff raff shredding on a guitar lmfao god brad is mcfucking cute "until IIII GET TO..... a phone" cute HERE COMES FRANK BOYS! laverne bitch you know i love you but this singing is so lifeless wtf is with everyones singing in this movie her dancing is great and facial expressions are great like she's putting life into the movements but the singing ain't shit "could we use ur phone?? :^))))" "antici................................................................................................................pation" i do like columbia she's got this really bored personality but she does it so well victoria justice was so cute right there LMFAO brad trying to GET INTO HIS SHOES i barked LMAO this scene is fun as hell laverne is enjoying the fuck out of it the snapping tho i don't get FROSTED TIP HAIR he looks like the guy from american horror story boxers..... ? i'm disappointed smh WOAH good jump rocky once again like the singing is lifeless LOL BRAD GONNA KARATE CHOP HIS ASS i'm thoroughly enjoying the comedy brad brings to this role "heh heh yes..." LMAO i loved the delivery laverne really is doing a good job except the singing part her delivery is enjoyable charles ATLAS SONG!!! DO ME GOOD PLS I BEG OF U that low laugh LMAO EDDDIIIIIEEEE aslright adam lambert is killing it as eddie he's putting a lot into the performance the weird sideburns are doing a lot for me on his face one thing i don't like about columbia is that she's lost the fun spirit she has in the original but i don't hate the big character change so i'll live LMAO GET HIM FRANK!!! BITCH !11 bye eddie the guy playing rocky is doing great playing stupid YESS SHE CHOKED THE "HOT" PART i appreciate it LMAO janet looking at rocky "going down" nice i like how much brad and janet ham up their lines LOL this scene is so cheesy they're having so much fun WHY DO THEY HAVE ROCKY IN THE SHITTY BASEMENT GOOD GOD rocky runs like me when i have to shit magenta is super cute god I wish that were Me.jpg because brad is so mfUCKING CUTE HES SO EXTRA I LOVE THE HAMMINESS aww poor rocky i always feel so bad for him rocky looking for camera lmao rocky is so lovably dumb WHAT WHY IS THIS A POP SONG LMFAO but i don't mind this song as much as i do the others bc i'm a pop bitch "congratulations janet" laverne this is a look GOD BRAD IS SO MCFUCKING CUTE "bread" is how she pronounces his name and it's amazing dr scott looks like a muppet with that hair the audience participation parts are taking me out of the movie so much magenta is MAD CUTE jesus christ it's the last supper MEAT LOAF AGAIN LMAO I LOVED THAT SCENE listen the awkward tone of dinner and the stopping of singing the song in the middle fucking gets my goat every time LOL BRAD LOOKING AT THE CAMERA rocky is me at dinner chowing down dr scott dancing in his chair to the song i always thought they said "when eddie said he didn't like his DADDY" whoops that's my bad i love dr scott in this omg BEST SONG BETTER DO IT RIGHT LAVERNE I SWEAR the little snap with "bell ring" was cute once again like she's killing it with character in the moves and face but i'm getting nothing from the singing ://// "MENTAL MIND GAME" WEAK WEAK WEAK WEAK WEAK LET FRANK N FURTER SAY FUCK YOU COWARDS that's the best part of the sONG even smiling makes my face ache ahhh the floor show omg best scene i've already seen this scene LOL but i'll express my disappointment with columbias outfit rn becasue it's sOOOOOO BORING LET COLUMBIA WEAR LINGERIE COWARDS but the singing in this whole scene is amazing rocky dances like me in my head BRADDDD INNNNN THE SEXY LOOK OMG THIS IS MY FAVE PART I SWEEEAR WE'VE GOT THE LEGGINGS AND THE TOP AND THE HEELS AND THE GLITTER AND THE GOLD AND SPARKLES WOAH I'M GOOD WITH IT AND THE DANCING AND SINGING KILLS IT BRAD FUCK IT UP JUST rewound it because i love it so much god damn so good even janet is great yo i swear this is the exact same fanfare from the og movie i'm not kidding i don't think they remade it i think it's the same one IT TOTALLY IS OMG that's cool awww man this is bummin me out bc tim curry makes me mad emotional in this scene with the song but her voice hasn't got the life in it actually... we're pickign up now and she's getting better but still hit the notes do it do it GET THE POWER aw FUCK YOU WEAK WHAT A LET DOWN LOL dr scott is a really great actor he's got such personality god i wish that were me.jpg my eyes are literally GLUED to brad who was that SNAZZY MAN the guy playing riff raff is really giving it all he's got and he's super killing it magenta is really me during this scene that columbia death was mad extra LMAO brad like bitch we gotta get the fuck out of here THEY DIDN'T LIKE ME, THEY NEVER LIKED ME yo dr scott is literally the best character omg oh brad you look so pretty they're wrecking this song whcih blows because it's like the PERFECT ending song and always gets me like "damn... what a tragic and wild story..... emotions now" ALRIGHT SO FINAL SYNOPSIS not horrible honestly like they had a lot of fun and it shows and they put a LOT into their acting and everything but the music is just boring as hell aside from a couple songs but not a regrettable hour and a half

#kristian liveblogs #god if this goes into the tag then everyone ignore it please #i'm not trying to start discourse thanks

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theworstbob · 6 years

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yellin’ at songs, week forty-two

10.25.1997 10.27.2007 10.28.2007

10.25.1997

81) "You're Not Alone," by Olive

Context matters. I react poorly to a lot of these European dance anthems. But real talk, if I heard this song in Eurovision, this would be extremely my shit. This song would finish fifth place in Eurovision and part of my shit is really loving the fifth place finisher in Eurovision. And this is at least somewhat subtle, it nicely builds to the moments of loud synthy garbage. I'm down with this! No, it's not good, but a song doesn't have to be good for you to like it.

95) "Sunshine," by Jay-Z ft./Babyface & Foxy Brown

How come there aren't any hip-hop love songs? Thre aren't any rap songs that begin by saying, "Yo, I'm takin' my best girl to the Japanese place downtown!" and THEN describe how big her ass is and how lovely her breasts are. There's been a long and steady devolution to this point where dudes are singing "I know you wanna love but I just wanna fuck" and all that, and I don't wanna seem like a prude, but songs about going out for sushi are way more interesting than breaking sex down into this animalistic transaction of pleasure from which no pleasure is ever actually derived because the singer is sad all the time and sex is meaningless.

97) "Pushin' Inside You," by Sons of Funk

OK. OK, I wasn't saying music wasn't crass in 1997. Of course there was shit going on, but you at least had counter-points to the more explicit songs.

98) "When Love Starts Talkin'," by Wynonna

Hey, remember the LeAnn Rimes song for a few hours ago? That was a lovely up-tempo hoedown, and I said I wouldn't mind to encounter it again, and guess what! I encountered it again, and I didn't mind! I love that 1997 put a fast country track with a dope female vocalist in my path! Good work this week, 1997, even if I don't have much to say about anything you offered. A B can win you most of these weeks, though.

10.27.2007

74) "As If," Sara Evans

So this week, Garth Brooks becomes the 37th member of the Decade Dance Club and the twelfth country dude, and the ratio is 12 country dudes to 2 country gals, and it's kind of weird that Keith Urban has made a decade-long career making perfectly cromulent songs that sometimes have a fiddle, but I haven't seen Sara Evans on this chart this year! This song is at least as OK as "Everybody." I wonder why Sara Evans didn't last in the country culture for as long as Keith Urban has! Very weird that country radio would just discard a woman, usually they treat women with a ton of respect and also as equals, it must absolutely be something she said. I am not going to look up what she said because I'm convinced it's her fault she couldn't find enduring success in a genre with as much equality as country music.

89) "Stay," Sugarland

The last country song had the phrase "blue jeans" in the first line and this song has the phrase "praying, PRAYING" in the second line and OK while modern music is all same-y and one song is indiscernable from the next at least it doesn't feel like pandering. You can make the argument that Post Malone is making an effort at honestly portraying his life (his "mood," as it were), and while his music is absolutely garbage, he's chosen a style of music he believes is consistent with his state of affairs and not the style that will make him most rich. I would have respected this song so much more if it were just an acoustic guitar and the vocals the whole time. What's that in the background, an organ or something? It's bullshit. It's dumb that you put it there.

91) "Clumsy," Fergie

I have made the argument before that Fergie's songs are actually good and that we have trouble separating art from the artist, have trouble considering "Glamorous" independent of the Humpsy context. I am not making this argument here. This song is horrible on every level. It's like someone half-heard an Amy Winehouse song in a grocery store and was asked two days later to write their version of that song.

95) "Pictures of You," The Last Goodnight

Real talk: I own this album. I have no idea why I bought it. I have no idea what about this song made me want to buy an entire album by this band. I think I just related to a dude with a mohawk making shallow pop music about how nice it is to remember someone you like, because hey that's pretty much me. "Yeah, man, I'm punk as fuck, I think capitalism is a failed experiment and I post on Facebook about Pokemon Christmas Bash."

10.28.2017

20) "Almost Like Praying," by Lin-Manuel Miranda ft./Artists for Puerto Rico

Help how you can.

55) "Pray," by Sam Smith

A MID-tempo Sam Smith song?! My stars! I didn't know he had it in him! Someone must have tricked him into eating a candy bar, or gave him one of those things that come from the granola bar companies that is real talk just a candy bar. "This is covered in chocolate." "It's Nature Valley, Samuel, a brand you can trust." And while he was in his sugar rushed state, they got him to agree to perform a song that had drums in it. Sam Smith: I don't go to church. A choir: NOOOOOO this song is stupid

60) "How Long," by Charlie Puth

It seems redundant that Charlie Puth is a thing while Maroon 5 is still a thing. My theory is that, when Adam Levine said "I hate this country so much" on a hot mic when his The Voice children were in a bad situation, Maroon 5 was Not A Thing for long enough that a new Chosen One was allowed to activate, and now there's two Maroon 5s wandering the earth and fighting evil with absolute peak sexiness. Is Charlie Puth hot? I think he might be hot in the sense that he's a music celebrity and there's a team of people making sure he looks at least acceptable when performing even mundane tasks like getting a Coke from a gas station, but would you give him a second thought if he were just a dude? Like, Adam Levine, you'd fuck that dude even if he weren't famous. You wouldn't give Charlie Puth the time of day if you didn't know his name from his dumb songs.

72) "Heaven," by Kane Brown

I'm back to being OK with this dude. His voice is pleasant, and I appreciate a small dose of sacrilege in a country song. I want this dude not to try for pop/country stardom and try for that Chris Stapleton stuff. Like, if this dude could add a convincing growl, he'd be unstoppable. But this needs to be the last time he makes a song like this.

91) "Dear Hate," by Maren Morris ft./Vince Gill

listen, country music, you can't say "Dear hate, I saw you on the news today" and then not name names. you also can't say "Dear hate, you sure are colorblind" and expect me to think you stand for anything. draw a line. tell me what you believe so i know if i can fuck with you. if you're gonna make a song called "Dear Hate," it's gotta do more than say "it'd be nice if people liked love!" it's "FDT" or nothing, y'all.

95) "Lights Down Low," by MAX ft./gnash

I appreciate that two young men with such different approaches to the caps lock key were able to bring their perspectives together for this song. This song was fine! I like that it goes somewhere and that MAX actually did things with his voice beyond lazily whisper over some EDM nonsense. I'd like to hear more from this guy, though I'm probably not gonna seek it out! He seems to really have a handle on how to make decent pop songs, and I'd like to hear what he does with less slow-jamzy stuff. Congratulations, MAX! You made me forget you put gnash on the track!

97) "Too Hotty," by Quality Control ft./Quavo, Takeoff & Offset

whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy is this not credited as a collaboration with migos? did we all just sort of agree that migos isn't a thing and the three members are now only solo artists? This was about as good as any other Migos song. And that's fine! Migos is good! I mostly like what they do, I just, I'm just typing words. At this point, y'all give me trap, I'm just gonna type until it looks like there's enough words and decide the content is substantive. Here you go. Hot content, fresh off the fingertips.

Who won the week?

Uh... Honestly, this week was more or less acceptable for everyone. No truly standout tracks, but nothing I’d be angry to ever hear again. I think 1997 takes it because light-hearted Jay-Z is such a rare and delightful version of Jay-Z we don’t really hear from that much, so yeah, ‘97.

Current standings: 1997: 16 2007: 12 2017: 14 Next time: we consider the Dawson’s Creek theme song, we listen to four songs people made in 2007 because they were out of ideas, and I get to find out what Russell Dickerson is. What a dumb name! I know he’s not a country dude because there’s no way you’re making it in country with a name like Russell Dickerson, too many syllables.

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