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btsslowburnfic · 3 years

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The Arrangement Ch. 28

Story summary: Desperately in need of money, you answered the questionable ad. AKA-Arranged marriage AU featuring Y/N and Yoongi

Chapter Summary: Photo shoot day. This ship is leaving the harbor.

Previous Chapter here

It was still dark out when you got up. Your joints ached as you made your way to the kitchen and got your coffee. You walked over and opened the curtain slightly. In the early morning darkness you could make out snow flurries making their way to the ground. You pressed a hand against the glass, feeling the cold seep through. A chill went through you. You were glad you had ordered the extra waterproof equipment for today.

You looked back and over towards the stairs. Yoongi would be able to sleep for two more hours before he needed to be at the trailer. BigHit had rented an area of park about 15 minutes outside of Seoul. You hoped traffic would go smoothly given the snowfall and that everything would be on time. The trailer company had already confirmed with you last night. Now all that was left was ensuring the trucks got appropriately loaded with the equipment. You got dressed and headed to the loading docks.

The sun started to rise an hour later after you, the lighting, and the photography crew had made sure all of the equipment had been loaded. You then sent a message with directions to the head of catering and grabbed the clothing and accessory trunks. Satisfied, and sweaty, you hopped into the van and let the driver know you were ready.

The trip up into the mountains was a little bit scary, to be honest. The fresh snow crunched beneath the tires. As if sensing your nervousness, the driver reassured you, “We’ll just take our time. I drive in snow all the time.” You gave him a grateful smile but did not loosen your grip on the handle above the door. “I can’t believe this didn’t get canceled.” He continued.

“Yeah, me either,” you agreed. You continued to monitor your phone. There were so many moving pieces that went into this shoot. It was difficult enough when everything was on-site. Having it in a location off-property and outdoors was immensely more difficult. You were glad to see the trailers were actually set up and running when you arrived. You had ordered a restroom trailer and a production trailer. Both generators were running smoothly. You checked in with the photography and lighting crew before unloading the van.

You set up all of the clothing and accessories in the back room of the production trailer. Hoseok had sent you photos of what each outfit was supposed to look like along with little notes. On the plus side, it was very nice and warm. It was small, but the space was manageable enough for 2-3 people. On the downside, it made going back outside suck even more. You walked back through the rest of the trailer, making sure the galley was prepared for the catering crew. Photography had their own section to review any footage without getting frostbite.

You took a deep breath and looked around. Yes. This could work. The sun was over the horizon now. You went out to help set up heat lamps.

At around 9 am the rest of the staff showed up: catering, stylists, and various assistants. You quickly assigned jobs to the assistants and showed the caterers to the galley.

“Hey lady!” Alice waved as she exited the van. “It’s been a minute. What have you been up to?” She reached back in and produced two coffees, walking towards you with one.

“Oh my goodness. Thank you. Thank you. You know. The same. Working. Helping Jimin prepare for the auction.” You took a sip of the coffee. “This is delicious.”

“Right?” Alice smiled, “I asked the driver if she would mind stopping at a real coffee shop and it turns out she was also burned out on BigHit house blend so we did. It’s so cold.” She shivered.

“Yeah. Well, you will be in the trailer to get started. Yoongi will be coming straight here so nothing will be done.”

Alice giggled, “Oooo, bed head Yoongi.” She turned around as you heard another car door shut. “You hear that Bongcha?”

What. the. Fuck.

“Hey!” Bongcha greeted you. “Ugh it’s so cold.” She wiggled and took a sip of her coffee. “Bed head Yoongi? Sign me up.”

You felt your eye twitch ever so slightly. You took out your phone, “Yeah he should be awake now. I’ll text him to check.” How to ask this tactfully, “Hey Bongcha. I thought Jessi was on make-up today.”

“She was, but she started to feel sick last night and asked if I’d cover for her. Of course I said yes.” She smiled

You swallowed your pride, “Awesome, well thank you so much. I really appreciate you stepping up. Like I said, you two will be in the trailer to start out. Yoongi’s room is in the very back, feel free to set up in there.” You gestured to the production trailer.

“Great, thanks!” Alice said, walking around to the back of the van. You directed some of the assistants to help the ladies take their equipment inside.

YN: You up?

YG: No :p

YN: omg never call me a brat again. It’s freezing out here by the way

YG: What happened to “the snow is so pretty. I love winter. It’s the best”

YN: I like snow. I hate cold. Status?

YG: leaving now see you soon

YN: You gonna drink hot coffee today?

YG: never

You smiled and put your phone back in your pocket. Watching your breath become air you turned and looked at the set. It was all coming together; you had done it. It had fortunately stopped snowing for now, but unfortunately, your feet were soaked. You didn’t own waterproof shoes. Oh well, you thought as you felt the cold begin to creep into your feet. This too shall pass.

You checked in with the crew members directing them to the hot beverage station which you had asked catering to set up outside. A floor had also been placed down under a canopy to provide a brief respite from any precipitation. Several people were taking turns standing in front of the heating lamps. “Thanks so much for ordering these!” “I can’t believe we’re shooting today.” You heard several times from the production crew.

Finally you saw a car pull up that had to belong to Yoongi. You were surprised to see that he had driven himself. You had definitely requested a driver for him. You walked over, waiting for him to get his bag out and open the door. He got out and mumbled a hello. He was wearing a hat, scarf, facemask, gloves, and long coat.

You smiled, “Hiding from the cold? A good strategy.”

“I hate this.” He said as he walked past you.

“I know.” You followed him, falling in step beside him. “But, look: you have a fancy trailer. And a fancy trailer to pee in. And your skin looks so refreshed and hydrated.”

You heard him laugh behind the fabric, “Yeah thanks, someone assaulted me with face lotion last night.”

“Assault? Please. Anyways, your room is in the back of the trailer. Alice and Bongcha are waiting for you, I have your outfits organized.”

Yoongi stopped, “I thought I told you not to...you know.” He widened his eyes and trailed off as the two of you were surrounded by people.

“I did what you asked me, and it couldn’t be helped. I’m sorry, I just found out.” You shivered. The sun had briefly escaped behind a smattering of gray clouds.

Yoongi rolled his eyes, clearly even more pissed off than he had been. “Yeah. Great. Where are your clothes?”

“What do you mean?” You asked, confused.

He gestured to you. “It’s -3.”

“I don’t have many winter clothes. Besides. It’s not so bad in the sun.”

Yoongi sighed in annoyance and took off his hat. He unceremoniously pulled it down onto your head, covering your eyes.

“Hey...” you whined as you moved your hands up to fix it. When you did, Yoongi was already at the door of the trailer and going inside. You sighed and enjoyed the added warmth of the grey hat. It was extra toasty since Yoongi had inadvertently prewarmed it for you. You decided to go try and nonchalantly put your feet in front of one of the heaters and hope your shoes would dry out.

“45 minutes. 45 minutes left til go.” You yelled as you headed over to the awning. You plopped down into one of the camp chairs you had rented and took out your phone.

Jimin: Good luck today. I'll be sending you warm thought :(

YN: Thanks my dude. It’s fucking freezing out here.

You snapped a selfie making a sad face.

JM: Yeah it snowed a lot last night. Omg you have Yoongi’s hat. So cute. Invite me to the wedding

YN: *eyeroll* I’ll invite you to your funeral *angry face*

JM: ahahahahahahahahahaha You smiled and answered a few emails.

WWH: Where are yooooooooo gggggguuuuuuuuuuuuyyyyyyyssss. Yoongi won’t answer meeeeee :(

YN: Photoshoot all day. Sorry. Maybe we can hang this weekend.

YN: Jin is sad you won’t text him back.

You sent a screenshot of Jin’s messages.

YG: WWH?

YN: World Wide Handsome.

YG:.........user does not exists error 404

YN: ???????

YG: This number has been disconnected

Oh my God, you laughed. Putting your phone back into your pocket you decided to go make the rounds on the set and ensure when Yoongi came outside things could move quickly. The first set was with a sleigh. You walked through the blocking with the head photographer and checked with the propmaster to make sure the correct items were in and around it. Satisfied you went to the trailer. The door to the back room was open so you stopped at the doorway and watched.

Alice had blown Yoongi’s hair back, exposing his forehead. Bongcha was done applying foundation and was lightly lining the corners of his eyes. He flicked them over towards you suddenly.

“Go away, I’m mad at you.” Yoongi deadpanned

The two girls laughed.

“You two also. When you’re done with my make-up you can leave.” He pointed to the door while pouting.

Clearly you had missed something. “Oh? Yeah? Are you mad about the fancy trailer or the coffee station? I need to know.” You put a hand on your hip.

“I think he’s jealous of World Wide Handsome. He’s been going on and on about it. He was trying to get us to disagree, but we can’t.” Alice laughed. “I’m getting ready to spray, hold your breath if you’re sensitive.”

Bongcha used her hand to shield Yoongi’s eyes as Alice applied the hairspray.

You rolled your eyes as they all giggled. “Whatever. Your first shot is with the sleigh so it needs to have that Christmassy vibe. It’s this outfit here,” You walked in and gently shimmied behind the other girls, pulling the outfit and accessory bag off the garment rack. You sat down on the couch next to Yoongi. You turned and left the room.

“YN I’m just kidding!” You heard Yoongi yell. Whatever. He was right. Today sucked. You continued on outside, giving another countdown. A few minutes later Bongcha and Alice exited the trailer, presumably to let Yoongi change. They walked over towards you. Ugh. Not today.

“How has everyone else been to Jin’s apartment but not me?” Bongcha whined as they approached you.

Alice laughed, “WelI was only there to work and do his girlfriend’s make-up. It was awful.”

“Ex-girlfriend though,” You clarified.

Bongcha sighed, “We’ll see how long it lasts this time. They do this a lot.”

“Oh. that sucks.”

“Yeah. Especially since Alice has the world’s biggest crush on him.” Bongcha teased.

“Shut up.” Alive gently shoved her. “Anyways...YN. I need to know. And I won’t be mad. Do you have a crush on Jin?”

You were dumbfounded. Why did people keep asking you that? “Um no?”

“Are you sure? Because you can tell me. I mean. I’ll fight you for him because I’ve liked him a long time and may the best girl win.”

You laughed, “Alice. I definitely definitely don’t like Jin. He’s like a goofy older brother to me. I’m just glad Yoongi has a friend.”

Bongcha sighed, “It’s just our fate in life to pine after the men of BigHit,” She looked dreamily over at the production trailer.

“Sorry,” Alice said. “Yoongi mentioned Jin was in your phone as world wide handsome so I just got super paranoid.”

You blinked several times and then started to laugh. “Ahahaha no. That’s just how he talks and it makes me laugh. I mean. I understand that he is objectively a good-looking guy. But so are most of the guys we work with soooo…”

“Yeah. But Yoongi is definitely the cutest.” Bongcha sighed. “And he’s so sweet. He even let you borrow his hat today.” She smiled.

“Yep. He’s very thoughtful.” You added, careful to watch what you said. You felt slightly sick to your stomach. You saw the door to the trailer open. Yoongi had his coat on over the first outfit. He scanned the set and headed over to talk to the director of photography. You waited a few minutes before heading that way.

"Perfect timing YN," Yoongi said. He slipped his coat off and put it around your shoulders. "Keep this warm for me." Before you could object he headed over towards the sleigh.

Dammit. The coat was warm. You crossed your arms in front of you, pulling the fabric around you. Bongcha and Alice went in for touch ups and then the photography began.

After the second set another round of snowfall began. You were thankful that so far Yoongi hadn't asked for his coat back. Your feet were thoroughly soaked. Everything on set seemed to be in order. The snow crunched beneath your feet as you made your way over to the production trailer. You headed into the back room and shut the door. Removing your socks and shoes you pressed your cold, pruny foot between your hands, hoping it would warm up. It did help, but you began to dread putting your socks back on. Dammit.

You heard the door handle turn and looked up. Fortunately it was just Yoongi so far, not the girls.

"Hey. Sorry, I'll get out of here." you said, starting to collect your things.

"What's wrong with your feet?" Yoongi asked with a concerned look on his face.

"Oh. I guess some snow got into my boots. They’re fine. Just cold." You half lied.

Yoongi picked up one of your socks. "This is soaked. You can't put this back on." He gave the sock a disgusted look and jettisoned it across the room.

“No!!!! That’s my only sock. Yoongi I have to.” You got up to try and find it. “I don't have other ones. There's not even extra Gucci socks from the clothing trunk I can steal.” You started digging around between the couch and end table with your ass unceremoniously in the air.

Yoongi smirked at first, “Well it's going to keep snowing.” He sighed. “Just stay in here the rest of the shoot.”

You turned around, your face red from being upside down. “No. I'm your assistant. I need to be out there helping.” You were clearly upset.

Yoongi took out his phone and side eyed you. “Calm down. Just wait. We're taking a break anyways. 30 minutes. OK? I’ll be back.” He shut the door as he turned around.

Yoongi dialed the number and walked over towards the door. There weren’t many shoes to sort through so he found yours quickly. He frowned as he felt how soaked they were and checked the bottom. The person finally picked up the phone.

Hobi’s voice was high pitched, tinged with concern. "You're calling me? Is everything OK?"

"No.” Yoongi tried to keep his voice low as he walked over to his car for some privacy “We're at this fucking snow infested shoot and YN doesn't have waterproof shoes and her feet are going to get frostbite. Her socks and shoes are soaked."

Hoseok could see where this was going. "Where is the shoot?"

"It's only like 15 minutes away. Maybe 20 with the snow. She wears a 255" Yoongi opened his car door and got inside.

Hobi couldn't resist, he ran his tongue along his lips. "And what do I get for this favor?"

Yoongi ran a hand through his hair, "Whatever you want. I don't have a lot of time before we start shooting." He stopped in annoyance, the hair product sticking to his fingers.

Hoseok closed his eyes and smiled. The satisfaction of his suspicions being true felt good. "I tease. I like YN, I don't want her to get frostbite, I'm doing this for her. No favor necessary."

“Thanks. I’ll send you the coordinates.” Yoongi hung up the phone and texted Hobi. He leaned his head back against the headrest. Namjoon was making them do this to punish him, he was sure. There was no reason why this couldn’t have been moved back. He had done everything he had been asked to do lately though. Even though, it turns out what he had been tasked with wasn’t difficult at all. He hadn’t intended to like this arrangement. He hadn’t intended to like you. And it was becoming more and more difficult for him to ignore the fact that he did. You were constantly on his mind.

He smiled as he thought back to last night. You were so cute. Yoongi closed his eyes briefly, remembering the weight of your hand in his and the feeling of your fingers on his face. He wanted it to happen again again. He felt a warmth rush through his body. It was cut short when he heard the car door open, shaking him from his thoughts. He was annoyed for a half second until he saw you. Still wearing his hat. You were holding his coat.

“Here, you can have your coat back.” You said, handing it to him like a blanket.

He briefly chewed on his lip, and looked forward again. “Jhope’s bringing you shoes.”

“What? He doesn’t need to do that. Yoongiiii”

“You will make a terrible assistant if we have to cut your feet off.” He replied dryly. He cleared his throat. “Why are you out here anyways? You’re supposed to be staying in the trailer where it’s warm. And not wearing those,” he gestured in disgust to your soaked shoes.

You rolled your eyes, “Bongcha is ready to touch up your make-up. We have ten minutes until the shoot starts again.”

The snow had covered most of the windshield at this point. Leaving the two of you with a half-covered view of the set.

Yoongi looked back out towards the snow, his breath visible as he confessed, “I just want to go home.”

“Me too. I don’t even want to play in the snow. You know how bad that is?”

Yoongi turned to face you, “If you like the snow so much why don’t you have snow-proof shoes?”

You fidgeted, uncomfortable with the question. “Snow shoes are expensive. I gave mine to my aunt when I moved out. She still has to walk to work.” You pulled down your sleeves to make sweater paws. “I work in the building most of the time so I thought she should have them.”

“Of course you did.” Yoongi shook his head.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” You said defensively.

“Calm down brat. It means you do a great job taking care of others.” He reached over and grabbed your hand. “But you need to do a better job taking care of yourself.”

You looked out the window, sure that your face was growing red. “Yeah. I guess.”

“I know it’s what you’ve had to do for a long time.” He took a deep breath as he forced himself to say the next part, “So I’ll take care of you until you get better at it.” He squeezed your hand and then let go. “Jhope should be here soon with your shoes and socks.” He placed the keys in the cup holder. “Turn the car on if you want.” He let himself out, leaving you to sit and think about what had just happened. NEXT CHAPTER @lidda @anpanman-sonyeondan @firefairy1 @cuteipat @sugaslittlekookies @janeelizabeth1216 @deeepvibes @gxldenhunny @livelyjay @bobbyboops @honeysunandsoil @deathkat657 @niniita-ah @min-yus @or-worse-expelled7 @black-rose-29 @storms-and-stars-blog

#bts fic #bts writing #BTS suga #suga bts #bts suga x reader #bts suga x you #suga x you #suga x reader #suga x y/n #bts yoongi #yoongi fanfic #suga fanfic #yoongi x reader #yoongi x you #bts yoongi x reader #yoongi x y/n

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softyoongiionly · 4 years

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Can I Make a Mess Now?

Jungkook’s never had sex before but, after realizing that he’s falling in love with you, he thinks he wants that to change.

Pairing: Jungkook x Reader

Genre: Virgin! Jungkook, established relationship au, college au, smut, fluff.

Word Count: 4.8k

A/N: This is a part 2 to Will You Make a Mess Now? Please please please let me know what you think! Love you

Warnings: smut, language, 18+ only please.

Winter break never lasts long enough does it?

A few short weeks of bliss and then-

BOOM.

You’re forced out of the warm and lazy cocoon of holiday spirit and, back into the rigidity of modern education.

It’s not that you don’t enjoy your studies, it’s just that after nearly four years of exams and, group projects that never go exactly as planned; you are starting to feel burnt out.

It also doesn’t help that you spent the majority of your winter break sleeping over at your boyfriends house.

You got used to the weight of his head on your chest.

You got used to running your fingers through his hair; an act that lulled both of you to sleep.

You got used to waking up beside him every morning.

When the semester started once again, the two of you agreed that you’d reserve overnight stays to weekends only.

As encouraging as you were of each other’s success, copious amounts of alone time is a (delightful) distraction.

Especially since the two of you began exploring the boundaries of your relationship.

At the beginning of winter break, Jungkook had revealed to you that not only was he a virgin but, he’s never been touched before.

After a bit of discussion, he decided that he wanted you to change that.

And boy did you…

You still can’t get the images of him falling apart beneath the firm grasp of your hand out of your head.

It’s arguably one of the best things you’ve ever seen.

Jungkook’s room became the safe haven for exploration.

Many cold nights were spent underneath his duvet, touching on each other until things eventually got heated enough for you to take turns making eachother cum.

Happy Holidays indeed.

There was one night in particular that things got a little out of hand.

In the heat of the moment, Jungkook had torn off your t-shirt, leaving the two of you to make out in your underwear.

He positioned you on his lap with a low whine in his throat and, at the feeling of your heat pressing directly into his dick; he almost lost it right then and there.

It took everything in him to keep his hands steady.

To keep them from ripping your panties off…

However, he succeeded and although, it was painful to slow things down, he knew it was the right thing to do.

The only problem is, that night increased his desire to a level he’s never felt before.

He knows he wants you to be his first but; he’s so particular and, so sensitive to his surroundings that he wants to make sure everything is perfect.

Perfection is a concept he frequently struggles with and, although he’s lessened his standards over the years, he still finds himself reverting back to his old habits.

Losing his virginity is a big deal for him.

He can’t help that.

And because it carries so much weight, he feels the need to hold off until the moment is 100% right.

But, how does he define such a thing?

He knows he wants you.

He knows you want him.

He knows he’s falling in love with you…

So, how is a perfect moment established?

Can you plan it?

Jungkook doesn’t know but, he’s starting to believe that he can’t.

His brothers don’t understand his issues.

Seokjin’s been with his girlfriend for two years and, every time she comes to visit, he can hear her moaning through his bedroom door.

An event that continuously scars him.

Namjoon is engrossed in his studies so, he doesn’t make time for relationships.

But one time, when he was looking for his laptop, Jungkook walked in on him getting his dick sucked.

He’s still never gotten that image out of his head.

Hoseok literally attended an orgy two months ago.

Jimin’s dating his childhood sweetheart.

Taehyung stays over at the sorority house at least twice a week.

And, last but not least, Yoongi frequently walks around sporting various love bites and scratch marks after a night with his girlfriend.

Jungkook’s spoken with his hyungs’ regarding sex a few times but, it’s never a conversation he initiates.

He’s far too shy to openly speak about these things.

But from what he’s gathered, sex is top notch.

None of his brothers could think of anything that feels as good, although Yoongi did cite sleeping as a close second.

After a long week of lectures and tedious lab work, Jungkook has finally decided that he wants to lose his virginity.

Or at least…he’s ready to talk about it…

He starts off guns a blazing: he sends you a text trying to appear nonchalant despite the fact that his heart is currently pounding in his chest.

Jungkook: do you want to come over tonight?

Jungkook: there’s a new season of that anime we started watching :)

His message does the same bit of damage on your heart because, although you two have been dating for quite some time, you still get excited at the thought of seeing him.

You: plzzz

You: this first week has killed me

You: I need to relax so bad

You: my brain cell count has dropped to dangerously low amount.

Jungkook chuckles to himself, shaking his head at your response.

Jungkook: wow

Jungkook: lower than normal???

Jungkook: that’s pretty bad jagi :/

You giggle, already gathering your toothbrush and, various other items needed for an overnight stay.

You: I know

You: it’s a tragedy : (

Despite the playful banter between the two of you, Jungkook is furiously moving around his room, cleaning every inch of it.

He’s dusting the shelves, vacuuming his floor, rearranging his figurines on his desk.

He feels like a mad man…

Jungkook: lol you’re ridiculous

Jungkook: you can come over around 7 if you’re ready; I’m just finishing up an assignment.

Jungkook: miss you <3

Your boyfriend is literally sour patch kid.

You: miss you too

You: falling asleep without you sucks

You: 10/10 would not recommend

Jungkook smiles, gripping his phone in his hand, a flurry of emotions stirring in his stomach.

Jesus, he really likes you…

Jungkook: stay the night then

Jungkook: I’ll make sure you sleep better tonight

He feels proud of himself.

He initiated you coming over, he’s holding a playful/flirty conversation with you, and he’s totally not freaking out at the fact that he’s going to have to tell you he’s ready to have sex.

Right?

Okay, the last part is definitely a lie but he’s just gonna go with it.

You: on my way :)

Jungkook receives this text from you roughly two hours later when he’s getting out of the shower.

He deep cleaned his bedroom, put fresh bedding on his mattress, scrubbed every inch of his body and, now he was standing in front of the mirror with nothing but a towel on his hips.

He takes time slathering lotion all over his skin, hoping that you like the vanilla-honey scent before applying a copious amount of deodorant.

He shaved in the shower, taking his time to remove the bit of hair around his crotch because it makes him feel cleaner.

Jungkook’s hair is getting longer too so, he’s been putting leave in conditioner on his ends to keep them healthy and spritzing his hair with anti-frizz serum.

After roughly 20 minutes of primping, he gets another text from you as he’s pulling on his sweat pants.

You: Here <333

Jungkook feels his stomach twist whilst reading your message.

Here goes nothing…

You’re standing outside the door of Jungkook’s house, dressed in a hoodie and a pair of leggings.

Comfy works out for you because, it requires minimal effort and, it’s also your boyfriend’s favorite look on you.

So, it’s a win win.

Given the fact that you and Jungkook usually end up fooling around, you took the time to exfoliate and shave whilst you were in the shower.

You may have also worn a new lacy red bra that had arrived in the mail earlier that day…

But, who knows?

“Yahhh there she is…”

You instantly light up as Jungkook eagerly swings open his front door, quickly pulling you into his grasp.

He smells amazing but, he feels even better and, you waste no time in pulling him close to you.

“I missed you.” You mutter into his hair

He grins, hugging you a bit tighter and, ushering you inside, “Missed you too, are you cold at all?”

Stepping through the threshold of his door, you notice that he’s freshly showered himself, his hair is damp and stringy but, it frames his face perfectly

“A little bit but, I plan on using you for warmth really soon so, I’m good.”

His hand is intertwined with yours as he leads you up to his room and, his face lights up with a smile.

“I got a new duvet on Tuesday, it’s really warm but,” He places a hand on his chest. “,you can still use me though, I missed having you here.”

Jungkook mutters the last half of his sentence, his cheeks warming up at his confession before he pushes open the bedroom door.

You don’t comment on his shyness but, it makes you smile and lean into him a little more.

His room is always clean but, the fresh scent of his disinfectant spray is slightly more pungent than normal. It isn’t a harsh smell; it’s a soft lavender cleaner that he special orders from Korea.

He absolutely hates the scent of bleach.

“It’s a nice color huh?”

Jungkook gestures to the muted grey of his new bedding, which is carefully placed over his mattress.

“I love it, it’s very you.” You smile as your eyes scan the room, “it matches your furniture really well too.”

His eyes light up, “Yeah, yeah that’s why I got it. I knew it would look good with the- um the desk and the dresser and stuff. See, I knew you’d notice that…you always notice things like that.”

Before you can respond he’s speaking again, his tone slightly uneven, “Um do you want to lay down? I know you said you were cold. I can hold you if you want-“ He grimaces at his word choice, not fully understanding why his nerves are taking over already, “not that I don’t want to or anything. I do, I just…I know you’re cold.”

You touch your hand to his cheek, bringing his wandering eyes back to yours, “Are you ok?”

Jungkook swallows, his eyes locking with yours, “Y-Yeah, I just don’t want you to be cold…”

You’re not convinced.

Although the two of you have only been together for 6 months, you like to think you’ve gotten to know Jungkook really well. He isn’t exactly a closed book and, when he’s nervous about something, it’s fairly obvious.

“Are you suuuure?”

The question is paired with a soft kiss to his lips and, Jungkook can’t help but smile when you do, his posture relaxing slightly.

“I’m sure, I’m just happy you’re here. It was weird not seeing you all week.” He tucks a stray hair behind your ear before, pecking your lips.

Again, you’re not convinced but, you don’t want to pry.

He’ll tell you when he’s ready.

The matter of his worries is dropped and, Jungkook quickly (and neatly) pulls back the covers so, that the two of you can slip underneath them.

Moments later, you’re nestled against your boyfriend’s side, draping your arm over your stomach.

“You smell good…” You mutter against his sweater, nuzzling gently against the material.

Jungkook grins triumphantly, silently patting himself on the back for his choice of lotion.

“Thank you,” His chest vibrates with the sound of his voice, “so do you…”

With that, he tentatively raises a hand towards your hair, allowing his fingertips to brush over the top of your head.

The anime begins playing but, you’re more focused on the way his fingers feel, as you melt into the soft fabric of his sweatshirt.

And halfway through the first episode, Jungkook’s motions are beginning to take a toll on you.

But not in the way you’d normally expect…

He’s smiling softly, admiring the way you sigh at his touch, taking time to play with the ends of your hair before massaging gently at your scalp.

“You’re going to make me sleepy…” You mumble contently, a few minutes later and, Jungkook chuckles breathlessly beneath you.

“That’s ok; you can sleep if you need to.”

He means it.

Jungkook had other things on his agenda but, now that you’re here, all he cares about is your comfort.

“Don’t wanna sleep-“ You nudge your nose against his ribcage, “I missed you.”

With another chuckle, he traces his fingers over the edges of your hairline, brushing over the shell of your ear.

You can feel goosebumps rising on your skin but, it’s not intrusive or sudden, they come on slowly along with a type of comfort that only Jungkook can provide.

“I’ll be here when you wake up.” He soothes, his motions continuing over the arches of your brows before, he traces back up the expanse of your forehead. “I promise.”

You can feel yourself smile as your blinking slows, taking another deep breath whilst your body seems to melt into him.

The heaviness in your eyelids is growing despite your best efforts to warrant off your exhaustion.

You didn’t want to nap, you wanted to spend time with your boyfriend but, when he tucks his fingers beneath your hair and, begins scratching gently on your scalp, the threat of sleep becomes more prominent.

“Sleepy girl…” He teases, a fond smile on his lips as he watches your eyes finally close. His thumb brushes over your cheek, gently pinching at the skin before, returning his hand to your hair.

This warms you from the inside out and, sooner or later you can’t help but, drift off into a light sleep.

Jungkook smile grows and, he slows his movements to a stop before tugging on the duvet until it covers your shoulders.

He decides in that moment that he really wouldn’t mind spending every night just like this; tucked under the covers, falling asleep in eachother’s arms.

He changes the show to something you’ve already seen; he doesn’t want to watch the anime without you.

After some time has passed, you slowly come out of your slumber, happy you’re still laying on your boyfriend’s chest.

You peer up at Jungkook to see his brow furrowed in concentration as his gaze is locked firmly on the screen.

A smile immediately finds it’s way onto your lips, your finger reaching out to bop him on the nose.

He jumps at first, not understanding the source of the interruption before he quickly matches your smile, ““Yah she’s awake. Did you have a good nap?” He thumbs over your cheek once more and, you’re overcome by the urge to press a kiss against his lips

He’s willing and able to accept it.

His hands come up to hold you against him and, he slowly begins to move his lips against yours

“Mhm...”

His nose wrinkles with the joy on his face as he presses more kisses to your lips.

“I’m sorry I fell asleep, I just haven’t been getting to bed on time this week...”

An adorable pout comes over his mouth, “Don’t be sorry, I’m glad you were able to get some rest. It’s not late or anything.”

It’s well past sunset but, Jungkook’s vanilla cake candle is providing enough light to illuminate the details of your boyfriends face.

You kiss him again, just because he’s cute and you can, “What did you do while I was out?”

His head reclines against his pillow again but, he tugs you closer, ensuring that you remain against him.

“I watched a few episodes of Naruto...” He admits, “I’ve seen it a million times but, I never get tired of it.”

Your arms drape over his shoulders as the upper half of your body rests over his chest. The wispy ends of his black hair are too cute to resist so you absentmindedly toy with them as you respond,

“I get it, I have a few different shows that I’m like that with; I swear I’ve seen The Office so many times I could quote it in my sleep.”

A half smirk curves on the end of his mouth, “Yeah that’s a good one too, Jin hyung watches that show all the time.”

You giggle, tucking a bit of hair behind his ear, “Ah that explains a lot actually, Jin and Michael Scott have a lot in common.”

He chuckles at that, nodding in agreement, leaning his head against your hand.

“Which character do you think you are?”

You purse your lips, mulling it over, your eyes narrowing in thought, “Hmmm that’s a tough one cause like- I wanna say Kelly because, she’s amazing but in reality, I’m probably more of a Kevin.”

Jungkook’s smirk grows, “Isn’t that the guy who dropped his chili all over the place?

With a dramatic sigh, you nod, “God, I’ve never related to anyone more in my entire life...”

A full belly laugh comes from your boyfriends pretty mouth, his body trembling beneath you as he shakes his head.

It’s one of your favorite sounds, especially when it gets all high pitched like it is now.

“Jagi you aren’t Kevin...” He insists, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye, “You are cooler than him.”

“You’re just saying that because you see the best side of me; in reality I am 100% Kevin.” You giggle, tucking more hair behind his other ear.

He still chuckles, shaking his head before nodding to you, “Who do you think I am?”

This definitely gets your brain going.

“I’m leaning towards Jim, you guys have a lot in common.” You nod as you continue to think about their similarities, “Yeah, you both have the same sense of humor and, even though you’re more sexy in an obvious way, you both have the same kind of sexiness?? If that makes sense?? But, you’re definitely hotter than Jim.”

You force your train of thought away from the office- style fantasy that pops into your head as Jungkook feels something stir deep in his gut.

“You think I’m sexy?”

You can’t help but laugh at the surprised look on his face, you swear you’ll never understand how Jungkook doesn’t see how hot he is.

“Duh.” You seal your response with a kiss but, Jungkook surprises you by sitting up and tugging you onto his lap.

He chuckles at the squeal that leaves your lips but, he carries on kissing you, his hands sliding up your outer thighs.

You don’t know what prompts his motions but, you’re not really in the mood to ask.

You’d much rather sit on your boyfriend’s lap and, make out with him.

“Can you-” He whispers against your lips, slightly breathless, “Can you say it?”

Your eyes flutter open to catch the shyness in his, “Can I say what?”

Warmth floods the apples of his cheeks, “Can you say that you think I’m sexy?”

A smirk teases the corners of your mouth and, tentatively you roll your hips against his.

“Are you trying to get hard Jungkook?”

You can hear him gulp, his eyes widening a bit before he nods.

With a smirk still on your lips, you tilt his head back, moving your fingers through his hair as you slowly begin placing kisses up the side of his neck.

His breathing picks up and, god help him, he immediately feels his dick hardening in his sweats.

Jungkook’s neck is a sensitive area and, you know exactly where his weak spots are.

As you reach the lobe of his ear, you feel his grip tighten on your hips, his mouth parted slightly to make way for his shaky breath.

“Jungkook?” You whisper in his ear, biting your lip as you see him visibly shiver beneath you.

“Yeah?”

“I think you’re sexy.”

You nibble on his ear before quickly reuniting your lips, your hands sliding underneath his sweater.

His skin is so soft, so warm beneath your fingertips and, there is a large part of you that wishes you could spend hours just touching and kissing your boyfriend’s body.

Jungkook is eagerly reciprocating your kiss whilst his hands slowly move back up the outsides of your thighs.

His plan to get hard definitely worked because, you can feel him poking against your hips and, you’re already thinking of all the different ways you can make him cum.

“Did you get hard for me?” You whisper against his swollen lips, nudging his nose

Instantly he nods, his hands tugging the hem of your hoodie.

You take the hint, pulling back from him in order to remove it.

Your plan is to continue kissing him of course but, as Jungkook spots the fire-red lace cups supporting the swells of your breasts, he lets out a tortured sigh.

“Is that new?” He swallows thickly, biting his bottom lip, allowing his hands to trail up your hips before securing themselves against your waist.

All you do is nod, sticking your chest out a bit and, encouraging him to keep touching you.

Jungkook leans in, dragging the tip of his nose between your breasts, inhaling when he reaches the space between your color bones.

“Did you wear this for me?”

His voice is ragged but, it’s deeper than normal, due to the arousal coating his tone.

“I wanted to look pretty for you.” You whisper, running your fingers through his hair.

You can feel him smile against your chest, his wet lips trailing back to tops of the bra, “You’re always pretty but this-” He grows bolder, biting softly at your breast, “this is torture”

A giggle bubbles past your lips, as you roll down against him once more.

“Jagi I-” The sensation of pleasure that toys with his body acts like a truth serum and, in an act of desperation that he definitely didn’t plan, a confession tumbles from his mouth, “I want you.”

But you don’t quite catch his drift, still rocking slowly against him, arousal slowly beginning to unravel you, “I want you too.”

No like,” He pulls away, his eyes glazed over with desire as they lock onto yours, “I want to be inside of you...”

It’s like a punch to the gut really, the way your boyfriend’s voice seems to quake under the weight of his admission.

You cup his cheek, “Really? Are you sure?”

He nods eagerly, licking his lips before turning to press a kiss to the inside of your wrist, “I want you so bad...”

You’re quick to capture his lips then, kissing into him with more fervor than you ever have.

"Can you do it for us Noona?” He croons into your mouth, his eyes darkened with lust as they plead with yours.

A nod is all you can manage at his devasting way of asking you to ride him.

For the first time...

You’re pulling off his sweater, securing your lips to his once more, kissing on them as you lean him back against the pillows.

Your bottoms are removed, leaving you completely naked as you tug his sweats down his legs.

Jungkook’s erection looks painful and, you feel yourself ache at the thought of finally being able to sit on it.

As you sit astride him once more, you lean down to press a kiss between his eyes before trailing your lips down the bridge of his nose to hover over his mouth.

He looks a little emotional, staring up at you as if you hung the moon just for him.

And you would, you’d do anything for him.

“Are you ready baby?” You whisper

He takes a deep and unstable breath through his nose but, gives you a nod anyway as he exhales through his mouth.

Right as you start lining him up with your entrance, Jungkook cups your cheek, his hand clammed up due to his nerves.

“Jagi?” He croaks

You kiss his hand gently, reassurance in your eyes, “Yeah?”

“G-Go slow please...”

You nod, “Of course, tell me if you want to stop at any point ok?”

He returns your nod before, letting out another breath as his head returns to his pillows.

Slowly but surely, you begin sheathing him in your heat, going as slow as possible so he can feel everything.

His body seems to freeze as you sink down on him, his hands tightening on your hips before a gasp leaves his throat.

Jungkook is quite sure he’s in heaven.

That’s the only explanation for the intense feelings of pleasure swimming through his body. He’s never felt anything so hot, so tight-

So fucking good.

He’s going to lose his mind.

With wide eyes, he stares up at you in awe, his lips parted as the length of his dick is fully inside of you.

You’re not fairing too well either because, Jungkook fills you up perfectly, nudging against the spot within you that makes your head spin.

“Is that ok?”

“ ‘ss so good...” His voice is slurred as his hips jerk beneath you, sending a wave of pleasure through your core.

Biting your lip, you thumb his cheek, trying to hold it together, “Can I ride you now?”

You’re asking because, you want to make sure he’s prepared.

You know this isn’t going to last long but, you still want to blow his mind.

“I’m already so close jagi...I’m sorry...” He chokes on the end of his sentence when you start a pace on his dick, “Oh fu- oh my god...”

“Shh...don’t be sorry, you’re doing so good. You cum whenever you need to ok?”

“Ah- Y/N...”

His beautiful features are screwed up in pleasure, his hands falling off your hips because, he literally doesn’t have the strength to hold on at this point.

Jungkook’s breathing is growing rapid, as his eyes flit to where you’re connected, “Jagi I’m- I’m really inside...I’m really inside of you...” He marvels, his voice weak with emotion as his hips begin to meet yours.

“You feel so good inside of me.” You assure him, increasing your pace which prompts his eyes to roll back momentarily.

“Will you kiss me? Please? I wanna kiss you when I cum...and I’m-” His eyes re-focus but, it doesn’t last long as you lean forward to brace your hands on either side of his head, “Jagi I’m gonna cum already...I’m gonna cum so hard. Oh sh- shit...”

You want every wish of his to come true.

You lean down to connect your lips, your hips moving faster and faster, wanting him to cum harder than he ever has in his entire life.

He whimpers into your mouth as his sweaty hands hold you tightly against his body.

“It’s...fuck I’m sorry, I’m sor- I'm cumming.” He chokes out, his grip tightening intensely as his hips weakly jerk with the force of his release.

He says your name as he cums inside of you, trying his best to kiss you properly but, it’s wet and sloppy.

You don’t care though, you ride him through his orgasm, keeping your lips connected.

“There you go, cum for me baby...” You coo, kissing all over his face as the pleasure continues to wrack his senses.

Jungkook knows his never cum harder in his life and, by the time his orgasm settles down, he’s properly spent.

He doesn’t completely register the feeling of you sliding off of him as his whole body is alight with tingles.

You make sure to clean him up, pressing gentle kisses to his stomach as you do.

You didn’t cum this time and, to be honest, it doesn’t really matter.

What you’ve both just experienced was too intimate to measure and, orgasms weren’t really the point this time.

Tucking into your boyfriend’s body you bring him close, tugging the duvet over his shoulders this time...

“Hi” He whispers, tucking his face shyly into your neck, his breathing not fully recovered.

“Hi you...”

With a smile on your mouth, you press a kiss to his head, holding him tightly to you.

He kisses your chest, feeling ridiculous at how shy he suddenly feels, “I think-” He stops himself to peek up at you, a bit of moisture in his eyes, “I think I’m falling for you.”

Your heart throbs at his confession, kissing his lips once more before whispering, “I think I am too.”

Jungkook knows you didn’t finish and, he plans on addressing that when he settles down but right now, all he can do is hold you.

He thinks he’s finally figured it out:

You can’t plan a perfect moment because, perfection just doesn’t exist.

But as along as he’s with you, it doesn’t really matter.

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ickle-ronniekins · 4 years

Text

can’t help falling in love with you

desc: isn’t it just the worst when you’re feeling sad? lonely? not enough? george weasley’s here to change your mind about all of those, love.

A/N: so of course leeann and i were discussing sad/happy things and so THIS happened. also dedicating this to all my lovely ladies who feel the same way i do. not enough, sometimes. i hope someday someone proves you so goddamn wrong.

tag list: @mintlibri @georgeweasleyx @seppys-return-to-madness @fopdoodledane @fredd-weasley @iprobablyshipit91 @darling-details @laneygthememequeen @lupinsx @keoghans @helloallthethingsilove @waschbiber @dreamer821 @feffffffy @the-hufflepuff-of-221b @62442-am @wtfweasleyy @obsessedwithrandomthings @thoseofgreatambition @harrysweasleys @sleep-i-ness @shadowsinger11 @shadychaoticcollection @haphazardhufflepuff @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @hood-and-horan @letsfightsomeorcs @theweasleysredhair @purpleskiesstorm @hxfflxpxffs @wand3ringr0s3 @finecole | message me to be added, loves

Steam engulfs the restroom. You shut the door quietly. You can tell, already, that the water is far too hot. But you step in anyway, and let it drench and pierce your skin. Big, sobbing tears begin to fall down your cheekbones and neck, and you lean into the water. Letting it pierce you.

Darling, it’s okay -- we can keep trying. We can keep trying as long as it takes.

No, we can’t, George! Don’t you see? I can’t give you want you want. I can’t give you want you want, and what you need. It’s just not enough anymore, is it? I’m not enough.

You let out a choked sob and will yourself to think of something else. To the white covered grounds in the meadow, underneath the stars. Underneath the moon. The snowflakes. That night, all those long years ago.

“Can’t you please just tell me where we’re going, darling!”

You’d tugged a bit at the blindfold around your eyes. George, who had been steadying you slightly on the cobblestone, tickled your waist a bit. You giggled. “Nope -- no peeking,” he’d said -- his voice deep and cool and clear.

The cobblestone had soon turned to snow, because you felt it crunch beneath your feet. The cold, winter air bit at your exposed skin. You’d heard something -- was it Christmas music? Perhaps a band at a local pub?

“Okay...” George had said before placing a hand on the small of your back. You’d suddenly felt hot nerves rising within your chest. Like they’d been there, all along, in the pit of your stomach -- waiting to erupt. Like a volcano. You’d been rather worried that they were about too. “You can look now.”

You’d ripped the blindfold off so fast, nearly ripping your winter hat off with it. You pulled your coat tighter around your shoulders. You were at the lake. The lake just across from the meadow, on the outskirts of Ottery St. Catchpole. Where you’d met, all those long years ago. Before school. Before the two of you.

“Not another recreation of our first date, is it, George?” you’d teased, peering out onto the water. But when you’d turned around, it wasn’t a recreation at all. Because there he was, bending down before you, the tips of his nose and ears and fingers red from the cold.

And he was telling you. He was telling you how he’d fallen in love all those long years ago, when you’d first met. Before anything had even began. He’d been waiting, he told you, all that time when you’d been with someone else. He knew, deep down, that he’d been waiting for his wife.

He was making you laugh through your tears. He was always making you laugh, wasn’t he? Reminding you of the times he’d prank you at school, because he yearned for your attention. Of the times he’d follow you back to your common room, hoping he’d be able to have a word before you’d turned in for bed. How he’d had to stop himself from telling he loved you the second you’d agreed to the date. How he had to hold himself back from buying you an engagement ring the moment he’d gotten home from that first one.

And you remembered, in that blustery, windy snowstorm, just how he’d asked you all that time ago to be his girlfriend -- heart thundering, hands shaky, eyes darkened brown. And then, as snowflakes had perched themselves on his eyelashes that turned to sweet tears when he’d blinked, he asked you to be his wife. You threw your arms around his neck and noticed, more than once, shades of that young boy again -- mischievous and cheeky and irrevocably in love with you, the woman who would be his wife. The mother of his children.

Maybe you’ve cried all of your tears. Your shoulders tense, and skin burns from the piercing water. You emerge, dry yourself off, and sling a silk robe over your shoulders. You brush out your hair, slip your feet into cozy shoes, and will yourself not to pick at your nails. Not to bite your tongue. Not to cry anymore. Because he’d chosen you, right?

To have and to hold.

For better, for worse.

“I’m going to put on a pot of tea,” you call. You hate the way your voice sounds in your own ears. Shaky. Wobbly. Foreign. You clear your throat -- once, twice -- willing it to be steady with your next words. “George? Tea, darling?”

There’s no answer. You turn on the kettle, turn on your heel and make way toward your bedroom. You grab a bit of lotion from your kitchen table. Where are you? you think.

“Love,” you call again. You sound less uneasy this time. “Would you like a bit of tea?”

And you find him beside your bed, just as you had in the snowy field. Eyes watery, smile soft, on one knee. Your wedding ring in his hand.

And he’s telling you, all over again, how much he loves you. How much he’s always loved you -- when he saw you pulling your siblings across the snow-covered hills next to the lake, your cheeks rosy from the cold. How his heart had skipped a beat when you’d smiled at him. When he couldn’t sleep the night after your first date. When he couldn’t sleep, and instead had just slowly caressed your hair, after you’d say yes. After you told him you’d be his wife.

“What -- what are you doing?” you ask in a tiny voice, your smile watery.

“Choosing you,” he says. He comes to his feet and places the ring gently back on your finger. His voice is soft and clear and calm even through his own tears. “I’ll always choose you. Over and over again, time after time, because you’re enough. You’re more than enough. You’re all I need, you’re all I’ve ever needed, okay? You and me. Together.”

He gently raises you off of your feet, his body hugging yours in a way nobody else’s ever has. Your hands play absentmindedly with his deep red hair. He breathes in and out, fingers running gently over your back in slow, circular motions. “And if we’re meant to have children,” he says softly, kissing away your tears, “it will happen, love.”

Four months later

You walk, slowly, your fingers folded together, your knuckles white, your heart thundering. You peer forward -- your husband, bent over his teacup, blowing gently on the hot drink. He meets your gaze, his eyes bright and hands steady.

“So?”

His voice is soft -- softer than it ever has been. Softer than the day he’d proposed, and all of those times he tells you he loves you. Softer than when he’d chosen you, again and again and again.

You promised yourself you wouldn't cry, but the sight of him -- so positive, so optimistic, so hopeful -- you can’t help it.

He places your hands inside of his and squeezes tightly. His eyes flood with concern at the sight of you -- crying softly, tears welling up in your eyes. You look down at your shoes and then up again at him. And the smallest of grins lifts your cheeks. “Yes,” you tell him. Your voice -- tiny and quiet and soft. “Yes.”

And tears are escaping his eyes without any effort, and he’s pulling you into a massive hug, and he’s kissing you as he did on your wedding night, like the very feeling of his lips pressed to yours is the oxygen he needs, pumping through his lungs at this very moment.

And you peer at him again as he places you down -- your husband, a father -- and think how, in just a few short months, he’ll be able to hold you, and another, in his arms.

And his mind is racing, is spinning with thoughts, and he’s reminded of all of those moments when he felt himself fall in love with you all over again. Like the time you’d tried to bake him his favorite cookies and had positively failed. Or when you’d danced around your flat to really crummy Muggle music his mother had shown you both. Or here, now, when you’d told him he’s going to be a father.

And he just can’t help it when he looks at you with watery eyes -- his wife, his girl, the absolute love of his life --

He just can’t help falling in love with you.

#george weasley #george weasley x reader #george weasley reader insert #george weasley imagine #george weasley fanfiction #george weasley fanfic #weasley twins #weasley twins imagine #weasley twins fanfiction #weasley twins fanfic #hp fanfic #hp fanfiction #hp imagines #my writing

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heartbreakgrill · 4 years

Text

Serious; Luke Hemmings (Pt. 1)

a/n: I cannot tell you where this came from, but it IS ACTUALLY REALLY GOOD OMG. please enjoy, there WILL be more parts probably tomorrow. (Also omg I’m dying my hair, should I post a selfie? I’ve never done a face reveal lol)

description: he came with the falling of the leaves, and left with the cold breeze of winter. maybe this time, he’d stay.

The gentle cracking of a leaf breaking under your weight snapped your eyes to the sidewalk below. Your boot-clad feet ran into another leaf, a smile pile, and a dozen subway-like cracks caused by years of distress. You looked back up, afraid to run into anybody who wasn’t walking on the opposite side of the sidewalk. Luckily, you did just in time, because you dodged a group of girls jogging at a steady pace.

Your brows drew together; They weren’t in workout clothes. You looked for fear on their faces, but they passed quickly, without a hint of what you weren’t hoping for. Your head followed them, pace slowing, as you scanned their outfits. Some of them were dressed cute, in fall outfits similar to yours, but two or three were merchandise from a band- 5 Seconds of Summer.

You stopped completely. Your feet drew you to the wall behind you, as if they knew you were going to get ran over if you didn’t move. Your mouth fell agape slightly, and your heart raced. Fingers reached for your cellphone, hesitantly opening the contacts and scrolling past ABCDEFGHIJK...

A sweaty thumb hovered over the sideways call button, tongue circling dry mouth for some kind of coping mechanism. Suddenly, it was ringing, but not from your actions.

Luke Hemmings.

You quickly answered, the hand that was still in the pocket of your jean jacket curling. “Hey,” a breathless tone, a feeling of desperation.

“I’m in town. I wanna see you,” he mumbled into the line, unable to speak much louder due to who all must be around him.

It’d been a year, a year since 19 year old Luke came crashing into your world like a hurricane. The leaves had been falling then, too, harsh winds whipping through until a calm autumn Sunday recruited your attention, the eye of the hurricane. It was a one night stand, fleeting kisses and dodging eyes when a phone number was hastily left on your bedside table.

You’d called. He’d answered. And after a month of relentless calls and texts, the winter winds took his blazing blue eyes and washed them out with read receipts and unopened Snapchats.

Of course you’d fallen for him so quickly. You were vulnerable, empty at that point in your life. Now, you were more stable, but you couldn’t resist seeing him.

You needed him, craved, as if some Pavlovian affect took hold as soon as the temperature dropped below 40 and midterms wheeled themselves into your schedule. It was Thanksgiving break, now, two weeks off from stressful deadlines, so you had time.

And, God, you were so willing to give it all to him.

“How long are you in town?” You muttered back, afraid someone on the other side would hear you.

“Week and a half. Five shows, 7 days off. Free today.”

Your eyes flickered between the people passing you, the crosswalk ten steps ahead. “I have plans for lunch, with a friend, but come over at 4. K?”

“Okay. See you soon.”

You hung up, taking control of the situation in the slightest. You wanted to grip onto the wall, your body flailing through space in his head and your own heart. There was no gripping the sand between your fingertips.

You went ahead to lunch, fingers tapping relentlessly on the tabletop, your inner thigh when you noticed Sheila glaring at the rhythm. Eventually, after you’d gulped through two ice waters and a sand which, she cleared her throat. You looked up from the floor, suddenly realizing how dry you’d been the last forty minutes.

She spoke, “okay, what is up with you?”

You and Sheila had been roommates last year, still were this year, too. Only, she was leaving today to visit family for the holiday. She’d been out running errands for before she left, and wanted to see you before she wouldn’t for half a month.

Your mouth was dry already, but you swallowed again to try to salivate it. Provide clarity to your words. You shrugged, knowing how embarrassing this would be, “Luke’s back.”

Sheilas eyebrows rose high, her arms crossing over her chest. She leaned back in her chair, tongue clicking in bashful anger. “Oh, really? For what? To apologize?”

You dryly chortled, though you didn’t smile. “No. He has some shows to do. I completely forgot. I haven’t even seen him post on Instagram in forever.”

“Y/N,” Sheila reached across the table and tightly gripped your wrist. She loosened the hold when you met her eyes. “You’re going to get hurt again.”

“I know,” you shrugged. “I just can’t say no, ya know? It sounds stupid, but maybe this will provide me closure. Or maybe this time he’ll stay.”

“You know he won’t.”

Her words didn’t hit you that hard: She was right.

The last time he’d been around, he was still with Arzaylea. You were a getaway for him, his escape from the flashing lights, the public state of his relationship with her, and the screaming fans. You promised him to never, ever tell anyone about the incident. the public would hate him, his fans would be angry, and he’d lose listeners.

“I don’t.”You denied her, though it was true, in the edge of an argument.

Sheila opened her mouth to speak, and you could tell by the breath she took, that she was going to reprimand you. You suddenly reached to the ground, hand snapping from her fingers, and tugged your back over your shoulder.

“I gotta go. He’s coming over in two hours. See you when you get back.”

Sheila sat in stunned silence, eyes barely following you as you bounced out the door. Your glare stared hard at the concrete beneath your feet, more and more leaves crunching below.

Soon to be an analogy to your heart.

You showered when you got home, brushed your teeth, washed your skin with glittering lotions and rose-scented body washes. He didn’t deserve all of this, no, but the way he’d make you feel for the next few days did. You should just move on, but your mind had been on him for the last year, and, yes, you would make sure this would be closure.

Or a new beginning.

A knock on the apartment door came firm and sharp at exactly 4:01. You were sitting on the edge of your couch, ignoring the text messages from Sheila, and the group chat with your other friends. Your knee was bouncing and you hoped to God he wouldn’t smell your anxious sweat.

You wiped your brow before standing and moving in shaky legs to the door. You shut an eye, peering through the peephole. There he stood, in all his rockstar glory, a leather jacket and black skinny jeans holding clenched fists, pouty pink lips framing the frantic look on his blue eyes. God, had they always been that pretty?

You opened the door wide, allowing him to move in beside you. You shut it, turning to face him.

And it all came back naturally.

Luke reached out to your waist, pulling you flush against him in a warm hug. You held his neck between your arms, fingers tucking themselves into his curls, which were much longer now.

“How are you?” His accent had faded much more, but it was still there to haunt the goosebumps on your skin.

You tugged away, fingers splaying across his leather jacket. “Okay. Uh, nervous,” you shared a laugh before he moved his hand to cup your cheek.

Your eyes melded into his own, his blue pupils flushed wide open with intoxicated lust. “Don’t be. Just me.”

You pressed your lips to his own, feeling the same balloon pop in your chest. And, some time later, you were flush against the bed, Luke’s body collapsed on top of yours. Your heaving chest puffed up with each deep breath to meet his own before he rolled over beside you.

You squeezed your eyes shut, opening them as he moved his arms around you. You turned to face him, eyelashes now fluttering against his chest.

“You’re so beautiful,” he smiled softly at you.

“Your hairs gotten longer,” you replied. You reached up and curled the strands around your pointer finger.

“Yeah, decided to grow it out after I broke up with...” he trailed off, “well, you know her.”

This was the first you were hearing of the breakup. Your eyes lit up, but you surpressed your grin. “Oh. I didn’t know.”

Luke shrugged, “S’okay, though. I’ve been better without her. Hell, even Petunia is happier. I got my own place in LA, living with Ash and Cal now.”

“How are they?” You asked him, letting your head falling into the cavity between his breasts.

He drew across your skin, “Good. Yeah, Ash has a girl. Kay, is her name. Cal’s still single, but he’s good. Michael’s still with Crystal. They’re living together now.”

You hummed. “And you?

His eyes met yours and he smiled sadly. “Still getting over it. But, I think this could help...”

He kissed you again. You held on, unwilling to let go until his phone started to ring. He answered it, other arm still holding you close to him.

“Yeah, I’ll be there in an hour.”

Your bottom lip poured, moving with Luke was he sat up. He stood and began to put on his boxers, but left the rest of himself naked. You admired his chest, more defined now that he was somewhat taller and healthier.

Maybe you didn’t regret being the other girl if she had really taken that big of a toll on him...

Luke hung up the phone with a goodbye and sat on the edge of the bed. You wrapped your arms around him from behind. Your lips grazed the skin beneath his ear and his head fall back against your shoulder.

“Everything okay?” You kissed.

He nodded, “Gotta get back for some celebration shit.”

You sighed as he turned to face you. He hugged you better, forehead pressing against yours. “Hey, pretty girl, I’m not going anywhere for another hour.”

“Another week, right?” You smiled. His head rocked forward. “Good.”

“We talked about me some, let’s hear about you.”

Luke got more comfortable after handing you his T-shirt. He leaned up against the headboard, allowing you to lay your head in his lap. His hand fell in your hair, the other splayed across your stomach.

Your fingers played with his. “Not much has changed, Lu. I’m better, I feel better. But it’s still just college, work, internships here and there. Can’t wait to graduate and just travel.”

“You look better,” the hand in your hair traced your jawline. “You look healthier and happier. I could see it in your walk.”

“I got a therapist,” you giggled.

He applauded you jokingly before his hands found their spot again. “I’m proud of you. I remember you telling me how nervous you were for that. But look at you now. Beautiful as always, but happy with yourself. That makes you the most beautiful.”

Your cheeks flushed and you looked away. “Yeah, well, thanks.”

“Where do you think you’ll go first?” He continued to inquire.

You shrugged, “I wanna go to France. Or LA.”

An awkward beat passed. Would he think you were asking to come visit? Was he going to pull away then, did he still wants no strings attached?

You cleared your throat and Luke’s tongue clicked in response. “LA’s beautiful. Not as good as home, though.”

Was that an invitation?

“Australia?” He hummed at the question. “Id like to go. See an ostrich or a kangaroo.”

He laughed, “Out of everything there is to see.”

“What do you want me to say? ‘Oh, gosh, I can’t wait to go to Australia and meet Liz Hemmings! She is the real star here.’”

You laughed loudly at the joke and Luke joined you until silence took over again. You felt him shrug. “I think she’d like you.”

“Who?” Your brows furrowed.

He traced them, feeling down to around your chin and brushing the hair away from your neck. “Mum. She’d like you. You’re kind, bubbly. Like her.”

You blushed again. “I’d like to meet her.”

“I...” Luke trailed and never picked up from it.

It was nearly 9 pm now, and your eyes were beginning to fall close. You hadn’t realized how stuck on a schedule you were from college until your body relaxed completely into Luke’s lap. Your hand held tightly to his, though, fingers threaded with them.

He glanced at the clock on your bedside table, methodically rubbing circles into your hairline. His lips puckered and he leaned to place a firm kiss onto your cheek, nose, forehead.

He gently set you onto the bed, pulling the sheets out you. He tugged in the muscle tank top he’d work under his shirt, his leather jacket, jeans, and boots before tucking away his phone. He would bear the cold for you to sleep in his shirt.

Luke kissed your forehead again, causing you to stir. You groggily opened your eyes, meeting the electric blue right above you.

“Gotta go, pretty girl. I’ll see you tomorrow? Maybe you could come to a show,” Luke squeezed your wrist.

You pursed your lips and he pressed a kiss to them. “Okay. see you.”

He was gone with the click of the lock in the door and you rolled over, wide awake.

TAG LIST: @mantlereid , @boxofteenageideas @dinosaursandsocks , @ashhdaniellee95 @stephaniemelville-blog @zhangyixingxing1 @verlaneswiftie13

#5sos fanfic #5sos fluff #calum hood #calum hood imagine #calum hood x reader #calum hood x y/n #calum hood x you #luke hemmings x y/n #luke hemmings x you #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings fluff #luke hemmings blurb #luke hemmings imagine #luke 5 seconds of summer #luke hemmings #luke hemmings angst

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sicloudlifting · 4 years

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Underrated Self Care Items to Lift

Okay so I was talking on Peach about how I hate that I only ever see the stereotypical self care items like haircare, skincare, makeup, etc. So, I decided to make a list of things to lift to care for yourself that isn't just the usual lotions and lipstick. This can be for people with mental illness or neurotypicals who just aren't that good at participating in self care. Alright, here we go.

A water bottle. If you have a really nice water bottle you're way more likely to drink water, it's a proven fact. I take several medications with side effects of dehydration but for some reason I very rarely feel thirsty so I am chronically dehydrated. Honestly if you feel like shit one day and can't figure out why drink some water and see if you feel better. I always feel so icky when I don't drink enough water. I've even seen smart water bottles that you can connect to your phone. If you don't like regular water, lift some of those Mio water flavoring bottles, or some fruit to make infused water.

Nutritious foods. Grocery hauls are becoming way more of a thing on liftblr which I love to see because there's only so many clothes and so much makeup you really need and can use. Lift some fancy nutritious food from like Whole Foods or something. I mean how hard is it to slide a couple of organic bananas into your bag? Some granola? A bar or vegan and ethically sourced dark chocolate? Whatever man just lift a nutritious snack to eat during your self care time.

Socks. I feel like socks are a pretty common lift but just in case you weren't thinking about it. I like those really thick and cushiony old man socks lmfao, they're so comfy to wear around the house especially if you've just put some lotion on your feet.

Nail polish. I feel like this is also common to lift, but if you haven't thought about it, consider it. Taking a little time to paint your nails garuntees you won't be doing anything for awhile, and gives you an excuse to just sit around while your nails dry. Plus it's fun, simple, and I feel like everyone feels a little more put together with their nails painted.

A really nice robe. Getting a really nice robe to just wear around the house or after you leave the shower is heavenly, truly. Imagine stepping out of the shower freshly shaved, moisturizing with a thick nice smelling body butter, and then sliding into a silk robe? The vibes.

Comfy pajamas. I always just wear old t shirts and boxers at my house, but consider lifting some cute and soft pajamas. How you dress is directly related to how you feel, so even if no one is going to see you that day it never hurts to dress up a little for yourself. I don't recommend anything sexy and lacey, just some simple, soft, comfortable PJ's to lounge around in.

House slippers. I honestly hate having things on my feet, I like my toes to be free. But if you've got carpet like me, walking around barefoot absolutely sucks the moisture out of your feet and leaves you with cracking, crusty heels. Gross. You could always just wear the aforementioned comfy socks, but having a designated pair of fluffy house slippers is just the height of luxury.

Foot care in general. Face and body care gets all the hype, especially on liftblr. But, feel get neglected asf by almost everyone. Do you know how luxurious it is to give yourself a good pedicure at home and have soft, smooth feet? I lifted myself a Pedi Perfect (one of those motorized foot files) and it's life changing especially if you're like me and your feet are just the gross neverending callous. Get some nice toe nail nippers, some foot cream, a pumice stone, whatever. Your life will never be the same.

Tea and coffee. Stop buying cheap af tea and coffee when you can lift the good stuff. Get the bags of Starbucks coffee beans, steal a French press, get some loose leaf tea, whatever. Just get the good shit ffs I never see y'all lifting tea.

Plants. Obviously don't lift plants if you don't think you can care for them, and ofc you can't fit a huge ass shrub in your bag, but taking a few succulents home won't hurt. Some people find that caring for something else, like a pet, makes them feel better. If you don't have a pet, try a plant! Plus being around a lot of plants always lifts my mood, especially in these dreary winter months.

Vitamins. Lift some good quality hair skin and nail vitamins, pre natal vitamins, or even just a multi. Getting some extra nutrients that you may not get from your diet can't hurt. Also, speaking of the dreary winter months, a lot of people suffer from seasonal depression. This can actually be caused by a lack of vitamin D! Lift some vitamin D and take it in the winter, it might keep you from feeling sad and tired. If you get dizzy when you stand up too fast, get cold easily, or are easily fatigued, you might also be deficient in iron. Obviously get any of those symptoms checked out by a doctor, but it won't hurt you to lift some iron pills and see if they make you feel a little better. A pretty reliable sign that you aren't getting enough iron is if your nail beds have a pale or bluish tint. Finally, try some St. John's Wart. It's an herbal supplement that has been shown in recent studies to help relieve mild depression symptoms. If you have major depressive disorder, obviously an herbal supplement won't be quite as good as a real antidepressant. But, if you suffer from mild mood problems or need help feeling a little calmer, try this. Before you try any of these supplements please READ THE WARNINGS and TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR. If you don't have access to a doctor right away at least GOOGLE if these supplements interact with any other medications you are taking, I know that the St. John's Wart in particular can be tricky.

An aromatherapy diffuser and essential oils. Idk if I believe in aromatherapy completely, but it's pretty hard to feel shitty when you have the gentle smell of citrus essential oil wafting around your room, I'm just saying.

A salt lamp. Apparently the salt lamps are supposed to "cleanse your atmosphere". Again, not 100% buying it, but they are soooo pretty and I use mine as a nightlight because it gives off a soft orange glow. It's apparently better to use a red-tinted light at night if you have to have one because it won't keep you up. You can even lift tiny salt lamps that plug into the outlet just like a night light.

A notebook/journal and pens. Sometimes writing about your feelings makes you feel a bit better. You can also get art supplies and express yourself that way, or get a planner and organize your life to reduce stress related to a busy schedule.

Okay so this is all I can think of for now but please please PLEASE reblog with any of your suggestions! I've been thinking about the kinds of things I can get to take care of myself better, and everyone just says face masks and stuff. I have hella face masks, and I don't feel any better lmfaooo.

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hufflautia · 3 years

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hI this is a tOTALLY ANONYMOUS PERSON ASKING. and i am asking u to answer everything on here😌

lmajfniasnf yall i forced menna to send me this ask and i was kinda kidding but also a bit serious but also kinda kidding- ok anwyas here we go

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed? closed

(2) Do You Have Freckles? no

(3) Can You Whistle? yes

(4) Last Song You Listened To. “Needed Me” by Rihanna

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour? grayish green

(6) Relationship Status. in love with loki<3!

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now? cold, my fingers are cold and menna knows this

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky? no i did not, quite the opposite actually!

(9) How Many Followers? around 650

(10) Zodiac Sign. taurus

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour? brown

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily? yea

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower? usually

(14) What Books Are You Reading? no book bc i have no brain cells

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

“i cannot imagine,” replied the scarecrow; “but we can go and see.” -the wonderful wizard of oz! i forgot i had that book, i got it from library for school last year but then quarantine hit and i couldn't return it bc the library closed

(16) Favourite Anime? i barely watch anime, so i guess “Attack on Titans”, being that its one of the few animes I've watched

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of? my math teacher

(18) Do You Collect Anything? only the souls of the innocent. also chapstick.

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch? wontons that fucked my stomach up bc the meat was not cooked properly :D don't we love that?????????????!!!!!!

(20) Do You Dance In The Car? not rlly

(21) Favourite Animal? dog

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics? no

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed? usually 11 or 12- depends on day

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now? no

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean? pool

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog? clandestineloki

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water? i don't care as long as its safe

(28) What Makes You Happy? my siblings, my best friends, loki, tom hiddleston

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

i saw this and thought it was a good fit but then i realized it was too calm so

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music? without

(31) Dogs Or Cats? DOGSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be? yellow

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox. i don't care

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean? I've never swam in a lake before, so lake

(35) Do You Believe In Magic? yea

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing? gray

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue? no

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It? depends

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You? yes

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now? of course, loki will always be an obsession of mine bruh

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly? nO BC IM SCARED OF BUTTERFLIES

(42) Are You Easily Influenced By Other People? yes:’(

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams? of course

(44) Do You Like Going On Airplanes? yes

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry. ParaNorman

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds? sunflower seeds

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be? the neighbourhood

(48) Are You A Picky Eater? kinda

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper? eh

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning? kinda

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write? yes

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud? depends on mood

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents? wrap

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up? sleepy hallow ft foushee- deep end freestyle

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather) winter??

(56) What Are You Craving Right Now? l o k i (my original answer was warmth but its basically the same thing)

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

(58) What Is Your Gender? female

(59) Coffee Or Tea? tea

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About? nope, i finished it on Friday and Saturday like a bad bitchhhhhhhhh

(61) What Is Your Sexuality? bisexual

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning? depends on day

(63) Favourite Pokemon? squirtle i guess

(64) Favourite Social Media? insta

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories? they're fine

(66) Do You Get Homesick? kinda

(67) Are You A Virgin? ill leave it up to ur imagination bitch (MENNA IM SO SORRY IM NOT CALLING U A BTICH IM JUST SAYING THAT IN GENERAL)

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now? i forgot the name, but its white and fancy and from the same brand

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm that is a very good question, probably the motel

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life? AHAH depends on what u mean by “still in my life”!!!!!!! i guess technically yes, but I've already cut off those bitches in my head 😌 manifesting it into existence <3

(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters? avatar 2

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex? i don't have one

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now? “not you, i didn't wanna hurt you”

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest? brown bc if i say any other color, its probably a yt person and also brown be smexy

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set? yes, yes

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate? honey buttered biscuits

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone? among us, maybe Minecraft

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not? no bc i don't know how and i would call for someone else to help

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?probably bc I'm a hermit

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network? amsifnda this is ME ur talking to

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People? yes kinda, unless they're awkward (aHEM BREAKOUT ROOMS WITH NEW BUT AWKWARD PEOPLE-)

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them. i used to but not anymore

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed? i want it closed but the person i share the room with leaves it open bc they say we’re gonna fuckin suffocate if we leave it closed and i hate it bc ✨trauma✨! DONT WE LOVE TRAUMA??!?!?!?!??!?!?!? :D............

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today? i baked biscuits, i did college stuff, i showered

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed? usually mismatched pjs

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now. chapstick, natural skincare serum, lotion, face masks

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person? day

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc. don't have any

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

a snake chased me and it was weird as fuck

(90) Favourite Soda Drink? don't have one

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite? people laughing, violin and piano, my friends voices, my siblings voices

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More? SWEATS

(93) How Do You Look Right Now? comfy

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You. showering

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want? maybe an important quote? “dont trust owls” imprinted on my face

(96) Favourite YouTuber? stephanie soooooooooooooooooooooo

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bunniechan · 3 years

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Haha so I know no one cares about me or what I say here so I just wanna dump my feelings.

I had a nightmare? last night that just had me thinking about how little my ex did for me and how I just let him be like that. Yes, I don’t know or understand my self worth because I’m ✨broken✨but I promise I’m trying to fix that. But when I was in that dumb relationship I literally believed that that was the best I was going to get and that I should just accept how he treats me because asking him to change how he was and how he acted was rude of me.

So he never planned dates. When we went to get fast food I usually paid because Filipino instinct but also I was the only one working. Like talking about who paid was always uncomfortable. When we tried to do picnics, he would always turn down my request to get some hot food to eat with our sandwich stuff because “we don’t need it.” It was winter in Eastern Washington and I just wanted some hot mac and cheese (and yes we went outside for a winter picnic because we were dumb and it was the only private place we could hang out on a gender seperated Christian campus that locked its buildings on saturday because of the sabbath). It was always me asking to go out to do something and I would tell him to start getting ready and always, ALWAYS I would be stuck waiting for him to get ready. Sitting in the boys parking lot all dressed up can be really embarassing sometimes. And I was the only one driving in our relationship and he knew I hated driving. All my friends know I hate driving thats why they drive for me. But he never got his license or had the initiative to do so. So I always drove TO HIM and FOR HIM.

But the one thing that I tolerated too much and that probably left me more hurt than I realized was that he never paid attention to my love languages. My love languages are touch and gift giving and recieving. With the gift giving/recieving, it has to be spontaneous, unpromted, and its just a physical reminded that they are always on my mind. I gave soooo many gifts. Random video games so we can play together, food when he was working late, a stuffed frog he casually mentioned was his childhood favorite that he lost in a fire and more that were so special and sentimental and specific for him. I gifted a lot because that was how I showed love.

But he rarely gifted me things. The most meaningful thing he ever gave me was a brick for my brick collection. He even told me it was less than a dollar.

The absolute one thing I wanted from him over and over and over again was flowers. Random flowers, birthday flowers, even just a flower he picked from the ground. BUT HE NEVER DID IT WITHOUT ME BEGGING HIM FOR IT. THAT’S RIGHT, I HAD TO BEG FOR MY FLOWERS. And I can count the number of times it happened. He gave me roses once on my 19th birthday because I told him for two weeks that it would be really nice to get some roses on my birthday. The second time was when we had a big fight around christmas and I told him he had to get me flowers or I wouldn’t talk to him until christmas was over. That’s it, I got flowers twice. TWICE IN OUR 3 YEAR RELATIONSHIP.

Lets talk about the first one because I was begged him for two weeks to get me a nice bouquet of roses and thats all I wanted (no extra present or anything because I was already taking him along to spend a day in LA and yes I paid for our food that day). And the day of he tells me to come pick him up an hour later than I had set for because he was still looking for roses. He had two weeks to plan and prepare, maybe place an order at any of the florists in town, or even buy it the night or two before. But he waited till the morning of and he didn’t tell him mom till then either (who was driving him around) and low and behold, no grocery had a bouquet of roses prepped. He did eventually get me roses. Exactly 4 roses that they got from his mom’s friend’s yard with not enough of the thorns removed and imthey were tied together with this ugly brown wire ribbon. I’m sorry but I was disappointed.

I was even more disappinted when Valentines came about that year and I was planning a very sweet dinner for us. I told him so. I cooked all day between my classes (it was a tuesday) and was soooo freaked out about getting it to be perfect. I had a gift for him too. Of course I didn’t tell him a out the gift, it was a surprise. I had set up our dinner in a little nook on campus and texted him to come. He show up like 45 min late even though it was a 2 min walk from his dorm. Its not like dinner was a surprise I was texting him excitedly all day. But he was late and it was winter so the food got cold. And I was just hoping, wishing, that he was late because he was getting a gift or flowers for me. But that wasn’t it. He was just late. Thats it. And he had nothing for me.

To this day my only wish is to recieve unpromted flowers on Valentines day. In high school I was never with someone at the time, so I never got any. And after that first Valentines with him I never got my hopes up for the following holidays. So in the three years we were together I never, NEVER recieved flowers or a gift on Valentines day. And I never got flowers on my following birthdays either. I just want someone to gift me flowers.

The feeling of reciving a gift umptomted is just really important to me. Idk, it just tells me that there was this moment where something made the other think of me and thats why they got that gift for me. At least that’s what goes through my head when I get gifts for others. I gift to my friends all the fucking time. And their happiness when they open that shit fuels me. Special hand lotion for my bestie. A funky christmas tie for my bro-friend to match his dad. A Disney nurse bade clip so my cousin can stand out at her first clinical rotation. I put so much thought and care into the gift I get people because that shit makes me happy. But that goddamn ex never reciprocated that for me and that shit hurt. ESPECIALLY THE FLOWERS.

This is already getting long but it’s okay cause I know no one is reading my shit. But I’ll probably talk about my touch love language another time because THAT SHIT WAS NEGLECTED TOO. I’m really not okay lol but someday I hope I can trust someone again so maybe they can buy me flowers🥺

#myface #me talking #rant #fuck you stupid ex #flowers #haha lol I’m sad #writing

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softboywriting · 5 years

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Snowballs and Soft Kisses | Shawn Mendes AU

Summary: Shawn gets some fake snowballs and terrorizes everyone at any chance he gets. You finally have had enough of it and decide to get revenge with real snowballs. [fluff] Part of the Falling In Love Is Easily The Hardest Thing Series that can be found on my masterlist under Mini Series.

Word Count: 1.6k

|Masterlist In Bio|

Shawn is a menace. Over the last two years as his assistant and more recently, girlfriend, you've learned that if you let him go shopping alone when he is bored he comes back with the most off the wall things. Once it was a nutribullet. He claimed he needed it for his protein shakes. It sat in his cupboard for nine months unopened. Another time it was a Roomba. Perfect for the guy who is never home and can't remember to do his own laundry let alone turn on a robot to vacuum his perfectly clean floors. Last month he came waltzing on to the tour bus somewhere in Texas with a bag full of men's body wash and lotion from some high end store when he has a shower bag full of them already.

This time he shows up with something far less expensive than his last ventures, but by far the most annoying. Fake snowballs. Yeah. Little fluffy partially filled white fabric balls. Why? Well as Shawn put it “I miss snowball fights and half time I'm not home anymore while there is snow on the ground.” Immediately you knew this was going to be hell, and you were absolutely right.

Every chance Shawn got he was pelting people with those little snowballs. Backstage? Perfect for a snowball fight. Green room? Time to lob them at each other over the couches. Empty arena? More like a battle ground. Tour Bus? Oh you can bet you woke up with him tossing them across the isle trying to wake you up or bother you while you worked on your laptop. The guy was a menace, a giggly overgrown child and half the crew was no better. They almost always joined in or egged him on.

After a solid month of shenanigans you'd had enough. You had taken countless snowballs to the face, the chest, the back of the head. You had cleaned up a number of spilled cans and broken cups. It was time for revenge. The tour but had left late in the evening after a later show and was headed for Minnesota for Shawn to play his last show on Christmas Eve before a week long break. You're curled up with him in his bunk, barely any room to move, and you can see one of the snowballs sitting on the bed across the aisle. That's when you decide that it's time for revenge, as you stare at that obnoxious little fluff ball and it mocks you. No, you wouldn't steal his fake snowballs for revenge, you want real snow.

You pull out your phone and bring up the weather app. You type in the bus's destination and find that when you arrive it should be snowing and there is already plenty fallen as well. Perfect. You wiggle back against Shawn and he groans, pulling you tighter against him. He mumbles a sleepy “I love you” and smooches the back of your head. So soft. He had no idea what was instore for him when you stopped but you'd let him rest for now.

Morning, half past eight and you slip out of Shawn's hold. Your back is stiff and legs sore from being crammed into the single bunk all night with a giant man. You quietly get your boots on, grab a sweater of Shawn's and pull your coat on over it. There are gloves in the pockets and you slide them on as you head for the door.

Outside is a blanket of white. A real winter wonderland fit for a Christmas card. Right away you start making snowballs, stacking them by the end of the bus and waiting for Shawn to wake up. It doesn't take long before you have a dozen or more balls and Shawn is texting you, wanting to know where his cuddle buddy is. He always hated waking up without you these days.

“Come to the arena. I'm helping out backstage.” You send him and he says he's on his way. He is falling into your trap perfectly.

The door to the bus opens a few minutes later and Shawn steps out in his sherpa lined denim jacket, a sweater, his green flannel pants tucked into his socks and his boots he wore every day. A fashion disaster and one hundred percent Shawn when he wasn't making a public appearance. Such a boy. You whistle and he turns to find the source of the noise. His hair is mussed up and his face still has bed wrinkle lines still on it. You can't help the laugh that bubbles out of you.

“I thought you said-” he stops mid sentence as you lob a snowball at him and it explodes across his cheek. The snow was a little powdery so you're impressed that it even made it to him without falling apart.

“That's payback,” you grin, packing a second ball from your pile in your hands. “How you like that snowball?”

“Oh you little shit,” Shawn says with the biggest smile. He scoops up some snow and balls it in his bare hands. You throw yours and he throws his. Both miss, his thumping against the side of the bus.

“Hey! That was too hard!” You throw another and it smacks square in his chest. “I call rough play!”

“Oh I'll show you rough play!” He runs toward you and you run out into the snow behind the bus. He chases you, slipping in his old treadless boots as you barely stay just out of reach for a few seconds. He grabs you, taking you down into a snow pile at the edge of the backlot of the arena where snow plows had cleared the driveways.

“Shawn!” You squeal as he pins you into the cold pile. “No fair.”

“It's not fair that you ambushed me either.” He stares down at you, nose red from the cold, breath coming out in little white puffs. “If you didn't like my snowball fights you could have just said so.”

“I didn't wanna hurt your feelings though. You were having so much fun.”

“Well yeah but I could have stopped bothering you with them. I'm sorry babe.” He presses a little kiss to your cold nose. “I missed being home at this time of year. Plus you're really cute when you're flustered.” He smiles cheekily.

“Oh you don't need to butter me up you goofball. But I am sorry I ambushed you.”

Shawn sits up on his knees, straddling your legs. “It's okay. I would have won that fight, ambush or not.”

“Oh yeah? You don't even have on appropriate clothing. You would have froze to death.”

Shawn huffs. “Well I guess I'll have to challenge you to a real snowball fight when we get home and I have my coat and gloves and everything.”

“You're going to your parents place aren't you?” You start to sit up and he pulls you up right and starts helping brush the snow out of your hair.

“I was actually wondering if you wanted to come with me.”

“To meet your family?”

Shawn nods. He stands and brushes his pants off before he steps out onto the shallower snow outside the pile. He tucks his hands under his arms and looks down as if he were nervous about this conversation. “I was hoping we could spend Christmas together, y'know, since your parents are going to be on vacation anyway. If you have other plans just-”

“I'd love to. I'd love to meet your parents.” You wrap your arms around him and he sighs heavily, arms wrapping around you in return. “I wasn't sure if you wanted to do anything together for Christmas and I didn't want to ask since I know it's a big thing for your family.”

“You’re my family too now,” Shawn says quietly, looking down at you. “I wouldn't want you not to be there. Besides, I already told my mom you were coming so you kinda have to.”

“I can't wait,” you giggle. You know his family goes all out for Christmas and it's always a huge party. You also know his mom is awesome at gift giving so that makes you even more excited.

“Can we go back to the bus now? I'm freezing and my toes hurt they're so cold.”

You nod. “But no more snowballs, got it?”

Shawn holds his hands up in defense. “I promise. No more.”

“Alright, come on then. Let's watch a movie and warm up until the guys come find us for soundcheck.”

Shawn wraps his arms around you from behind and walks with you to the bus, snow crunching loudly with every step. He presses his face into your hair, warming his cold cheeks and nose as he mumbles, “That sounds like a good plan. Have I told you how much I love you?”

“Only everyday since we admitted our feelings for each other?”

“Mmm. Can't miss today then.” He kisses the side if your cheek. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” you giggle, your usual response.

He shakes his head, giving you another kiss on the cheek. “I love you most.”

A/N: Thank you for reading! Please leave feedback via Ask, reply, reblog or message! -A

#shawn mendes blurb #shawn mendes oneshot #shawn mendes series #shawn mendes imagine #shawn mendes fic #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes fan fic #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes fan fiction #shawn mendes story #shawn mendes au #falling series

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aurora-borealis514 · 5 years

Text

The Sidewalk.

18 + Mature Content.

(It’s a long story, but I didn’t want to disappoint!)

CHAPTER 1

Location: My bedroom.

Time: 3:45 am

I can’t sleep, I haven’t been able to sleep. I guess the stress has just been getting to me lately...Yeah... I know, I know you’re probably all laughing like “Stress! Pah! You’re to young to have any stress!” or my favorite line. “You’re lucky you still live at home. When I was your age I was already married with two kids by then.” Oh yeah Deborah isn’t that right? Well I’m sorry that my life isn't all put together at 21 like yours might have been, which was when 40 years ago?

I hate people.

Especially the ones who just silently judge you. You know which ones, they are nice to your face but as soon as your back is turned they say the complete opposite; Walking around with their noses stuck straight up in the air, and driving around showing off their fancy SUVs. Must be nice to have things handed to you. For me, that wasn’t the case, towards the end at least. I came from an average family you know. Mom stayed at home, dad is a cop, a younger brother, the white picket fence and what family would be complete with out a dog. The all American family you could say.

We were definitely far from it. We had our dirty secrets too, just like any other “normal” family.

Fuck! Why can’t I sleep, god damn it!

Looking up at the ceiling all I could think of at that moment was “What if this were to collapse in on me?” “ Maybe then it would end all of my pain and suffering.”

The roof needed to be fixed. Dad said he was going to do that months ago...but here we are closer to winter and it’s still not done. The shingles were falling off and it leaked every time it rained. My room seemed to be the only room in the entire house that received the full impact; It was so bad last week I had to sleep downstairs on the couch. The windows were old and drafty and look like they haven't been replaced in years, the doors were just the same, creaking at the hinges. The yard was over grown and had gone to complete shit. Our house didn't always look like this, we just stopped caring.

My mother was the one who would take care of basically everything around the house without her my dad, brother and I would have been lost. She taught me everything she could. How to cook, fold laundry, how to change a tire. She was a woman that young girls would look up to. She was kind and caring, she spent a lot of time working with different organizations and she was always hosting charity events. Judith Ward even made a brief appearance.

Sigh.

Sadly, that’s all just a faded distant memory, and now my father and I were complete and utterly lost. Most day’s we would just order take out from Ruby’s Diner, we sort of became regulars there.

Tears began to bubble in my eyes blurring my vision of the ceiling.

My mother and younger brother were murdered, along with a few others. Most would say they were in the wrong place at the wrong time, but my dad wasn’t convinced.

It all happened so fast. My mother had just picked up Danny from school and they were walking home when a man in a ski mask jumped them from behind shooting my mother point blank in the back of the head. Danny’s body was never found, so deep down I know he is still alive...somewhere.

For about 4 years now my dad had been searching and it seemed like every time he would get close to a break through...more “clues” would began to surface and he would be led straight back to a dead end. Part of me believes that the man is still out there holding my brother hostage and he’s just been leaving clues behind to this day just to try and throw my dad off the trail, but he is stubborn and determined, and why would a murder hang around and continue to leave clues? I try not to think about it to often because it kills me deep down knowing someone I used to see everyday just isn’t there anymore. I keep thinking that this was all my fault and a part of me that feels guilty everyday. I should have been there with him, and maybe at least my mother would still be here... I know fucked up way of thinking, but that’s where my mind takes me when I think about it.

Ever since the murder my father has suggested me speaking to a therapist. He claims that “medicating with Marijuana isn’t the right way to go about dealing with my stress and pain, but what does he know, Those guys are there only to take all your money and silently judge you, then they go home and talk about how crazy you are to their immediate families and significant others. To them that’s just a normal day in the office, but to me that’s the life I am stuck living every single day.

So if you ever meet a family member of your shrink. That’s why they hesitate when saying hello. They probably think you are a psychopath and could snap at any moment.

Time: 4:00 am

Alright, well no sense trying to sleep now, I might as well just pull an all nighter.

Stretching I rolled out of bed and grabbed a shower towel. Sluggishly I walked down the stairs. My dad was asleep at his computer per usual... he must have had another late night.

Yawning I proceeded into the bathroom and closed the door. Turning on the shower I pulled my nightshirt over my head and gently tossed it onto the floor. Reaching my hand behind the curtain I made sure it was hot.

Scalding.

That was the only good thing about old houses. The hot water is actually hot.

Stepping in I felt the heat of the water run over my skin, sending chills down my spine, and making the hair on my arms stick up straight. A draft crept through the crack under the door and my nipples grew hard. We didn’t have a shower curtain at the moment, so no matter how hot the shower got you were still cold. Why you may ask? We’ll I decided one night it was a good idea to try and sober up a friend by putting her in the shower, well epic fail on my part. Her foot got caught up on the edge of the tub and she became entangled in it which ripped the holster straight out of the wall and caved in on her. My dad was pissed and his reasoning behind not buying another one.

“You shower with the door closed so why do you need a curtain to hide behind too.”

His logic never made sense sometimes... but that was dad. Usually his reasoning behind things made me laugh which made it impossible for him to ground me.

Closing my eyes I let the water run down my face. It was soothing, but not as soothing as the sound of rain late at night. Washing up, rinsing off and then turning off the shower I stepped out and reached for my towel also not realizing my phone was underneath it. I couldn’t react fast enough, all I could do was stand there and watch it as It fell and collided with the ground making a sharp snap.

Great. I hope I didn’t just break it.

Wrapping a towel around my hair and the other around my body I reached down for my phone. Closing my eyes I whispered to myself. Please don’t be broken, please don’t be broken. Slowly peeking out of one eye I looked down. Phew! Not broken this time. Taking a deep breath I turned to the mirror and wiped the condensation away leaving blurry streaks. My makeup didn’t seem to come all the way off in the shower so it was still smudged around my eyes making dark circles. Washing my face again in the sink with a face cloth, I then rubbed lotion all over my body. Coco butter, not only does it make your skin smooth as fuck but it smells good too! I brushed my teeth and spit the toothpaste into the sink. Leaving the bathroom I looked over at my dad who was sound asleep, but this time snoring with his face buried deep into his in his arms.

He looks pretty peaceful. I won’t wake him yet.

Tippy toeing up the stairs, they creaked and groaned. I closed my bedroom door behind me and began franticly digging through my piles of clothes that were just thrown throughout my room. Picking up a shirt I brought it to my face and inhaled.

Smells ok to me. Throwing on a ripped tank top, I swirled the shirt around my back and flung my arms through. Picking up a pair of jeans I just looked down at them in disgust. These are so old. They had holes, and stains that just wouldn't wash out, but they were my favorite pair and I just couldn’t get rid of them. Slinging my bag over my shoulder and grabbing my camera headed back down stairs.

Still sleeping...

Dad... Dad?

“Wha...What time is it?” he asked in a fog while rubbing his eyes.

4:30 in the morning...

“Why are you awake?”

Well, I couldn’t sleep so I figured I would get an early start.

Yawning he stretched his arms back behind his head before looking back down at his computer. Grunting he held his head in his hands.

“Every fucking time I think I’m one step closer.” he clenched his fists and pounded hard on his desk making a pile of papers shuffle and fall to the ground.

Dad? Maybe you should get some sleep... bending down I picked up his papers and placed them neatly back onto his desk

“I don’t need sleep, I need to finish up working on this case.” he growled

Seriously though, you need to rest...it’s been 4 years and you aren’t any closer today then you were 4 years ago.

“What I need is for you to stop giving me such attitude, leave me the hell alone and let me get back to work so then maybe I can try and get some sleep.”

Alright, whatever Dad... I’ll see you later.

“Where are you going?” he asked turning to face me.

I see, he only looks at me when I’m leaving.

I don’t know, probably go down to Ruby’s for some breakfast.

“I see you have your camera too?” he smiled.

holy shit...he smiled.

Yeah, I wanted to maybe catch the sun rise. Do you want anything to eat? I can bring you something back? Maybe an extra thick milkshake

“mmm sounds good, but no.” he replied turning back to his computer.

Come on Dad, you know you want one. I’ll buy?

“No I’m good. Thank you, but really I need to get back to work.” he responded.

He was exhausted, his eyes were sunken in surrounded by dark circles. His hair was starting to turn gray and he just looked like absolute shit. He was supposed to be off this week. The Chief told him he needed to take time to grieve because he really hasn't since my mom died, but my dad has been sneaking around getting files from the other guys so he can continue to work, but just from home.

Ok so breakfast sandwich and a coffee instead?

“Black.” He replied with a smirk.

Sounds good old man.

Turning to leave, he called out to me once more.

“This old man could still kick your ass”

Name the place and pick a time Dad. I can take you down any day.

“That’s my girl.” he smiled.

Door slams shuts.

It was a lot cooler out then I had expected, yet again the weather man lies, but then again the sun still wasn’t even awake yet.

The air was crisp, and the leaves crunched beneath my feet as I walked along. I absolutely loved the fall. Everything is just so beautiful and the people around here really get into the Halloween spirit.

If Halloween could be an every day event, I would be happy.

The birds were already awake and chirping away, and just as I got to the bottom of my steps a fat squirrel ran across my path nearly tripping me in the process. Sadly he was just to quick to take a picture.

One day I’ll capture you, Mr. Squirrel. I laughed out loud to myself. You might have gotten away this time, but next time you won’t be so lucky.

The squirrel stopped half way up the tree and what looked like began to mock me, before quickly scurrying up into the brush.

Fat little bastard. I grumbled.

Walking down the street all I could do was look around at how the town went to complete shit. I feel like the loss of my mother and disappearance of my brother just caused the whole town to shut down and lose its spark. My parents were very well known and liked around the area by anyone and everyone who crossed paths with them. They were always willing to help anyone and everyone who asked them, even if that means they got fucked over 85% of the time. So I couldn’t go anywhere without something stopping me to ask how my parents were doing or if they would be around that weekend to give them a hand. Especially now...it’s always. “How’s your dad? Is he ok?”

Half the time I want to tell them to go visit him and ask for themselves, but I usually just smile and tell them he’s fine.

It got old.

Wrapping my flannel tighter around me I headed down the side walk, the only beautiful thing left in this town were the trees and the canal.

Pulling out my camera I took a quick photo.

SNAP, SNAP

Something this beautiful should be captured before it get’s destroyed by humanity. One horrible thing about the human race, so quick to destroy something so beautiful that life has blessed us with, and people wonder why there are global warming problems.

SNAP, SNAP

Shit, whited out. God damn flash.

My camera was old and I needed a new flash, but since I haven’t been able to find a job in this hell hole I haven’t been able to buy a new one. I did ask my dad for my birthday last year, but he just hasn't had the money. It makes me feel like complete shit to even ask.

Come on, adjust...

SNAP. SNAP.

Got it. Thank you! Kissing my camera I smiled at it.

Perfect. I smiled down at my camera pleased with the shot.

Taking in a deep breathe through my nose I exhaled out my mouth causing a cloud to appear.

Fall is definitely here.

My stomach grumbled.

Alright, I need to eat...

Walking further down the side walk, and then to the cross walk, I looked and crossed the street heading towards the diner. That was another cool thing. Everything was so close to our house we can just walk there within a few minutes.

My dad and I used to take walks all the time...and then at the end he would treat me with a large malt shake. He always would suggest I get the smaller size because I could never finish a large, but I wanted to be like dad. 4 years later my brother was born. At that point I was 17 and started to rebel. Mainly tattoos, which drove my mother insane, but once my brother was born it’s like I didn’t exist anymore. I mean my dad always wanted a boy, I guess you can say that’s where I get my tomboy spirit from but from then on out it was all about Danny.

He was only 13 when he disappeared.

Chapter 2:

Location: Ruby’s Diner

Time: 4:45 am.

SNAP, SNAP

Fucking flash!

Snap Click. chhhh chhhh.

Ugh Wherever. I’ll just fix the damn thing inside. I stuffed the camera angrily into my bag and pushed open the large double glass doors to the diner.

“Hey Harper! Long time no see, two for breakfast?” the man behind the counter asked.

No Shane, it’s just me today. My dad’s at home working. I smiled.

“Isn’t he supposed to be on vacation?” he asked confused.

Well you know my dad...

“Yeah that’s true can’t take a man away from his work.” he laughed. “Would you like your regular booth by the window?” he asked looking down at his monitor.

Yeah that would be great actually.

“Alright, well it looks like it was just cleared off, so right this way ma’am.” He smiled smoothly waving his arm towards the dining room.

You’re the best, they really should just let you run the entire place.

“Thanks, but no thanks. I’m one pay check away from having enough money to get the hell out of this place.” he laughed.

Yeah, I hear ya, I have a feeling I might end up dying here.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself. Hey, once I’m gone my job will be free, maybe I can mention something to management?”

You would do that?! Oh thank you!

Wrapping my arms around him I hugged him.

“No problem, I always have your back.” He laughed.

Sitting down at the table I pulled my bag to my side, and reached in. Pulling out my sketch pad I plopped it down and began to draw. That’s why I like the window booths. They were just giant windows filled with inspiration. I especially love when the older gentleman come for the early bird specials and bring their fanciest and shiniest cars. You can see them outside standing there gawking over who has the fastest car, or the best engine. Passing around cigars and chopping off the ends before lighting them and blowing big thick grey clouds of smoke up into the air.

What a life. I always thought about what they were like at my age. It was such an easier time. They used to be able to go outside without having to worry that someone was going to get kidnapped or murdered. They came home when the street lights came on, not when they get a text asking where the hell they are.

Looking down at the menu I couldn't decided. I know I have been here a million times, but I always look at the menu, you know just incase I decide to order something different.

Which for me that was rare.

I always wished they would serve lunch this early, call me a psycho but I could totally go for a tuna melt right about now.

Looking up I notice the waitress. Her hair was in a twisted mess on the top of her head and her apron was stained with all sorts of different types of condiments, oil and grease.

Kate?! Since when do you work here?

“Well recently, Chloe’s mom was talking to my mom and well...here I am.” she sighed. “I really don’t like it.”

Well, I can tell you waitressing sucks. People are just plain rude.

“Especially the ones who tip like shit.” she laughed

Cheap bastards.

“Where’s your dad?”

He’s at home working.

“Well it’s good to see he has at least been keeping himself busy.”

Yeah, if that’s what you called it. I rolled my eyes at her comment.

“I’m sorry...I didn’t mean to...” she began to say.

Don’t worry about it, I’m used to people asking me about my dad all the time.

“Anyway what can I get for you?” she asked pulling out a notebook and pen.

I’ll have the breakfast platter and a mimosa.

“Starting early?” she giggled

It’s never to early to drink. I laughed.

“How would you like your eggs?” she then continued

Over easy, white toast, whip cream on the pancakes, bacon fried to a perfect crisp.

“Anything else?”

Yeah, freshly squeezed orange juice?

“Were a diner not a 5 star breakfast buffet.”

I couldn’t help but to laugh. Oh come on the food here is definitely 5 star material.

Placing her hands on her hips. “If you think this is 5 star food then you haven't had real food.”

Well I mean, dad doesn’t cook and this is the only place that’s close enough for me to walk to.

“You still don’t have a car?” she asked cocking an eyebrow.

Well I do, it’s just in the shop. The damn truck is so rusty I need a miracle. Plus my dad’s car has been rotting in the driveway since my mom...

“That’s ok, no need to explain.” she smiled softly.

You know, you don’t have to walk on eggshells around me... I don’t mind talking about certain things.

“I know, it’s just horrible. Any news on your brother?” she asked running her thumbs along the hem of her apron.

Not yet, but I know he’s out there...he has to be.

“Well I will make sure to pray for his safe return.” she smiled again.

Thanks Kate, you're the sweetest.

“Anytime.” she replied turning and heading towards the kitchen.

Looking back out the window I sighed heavily. Well it looks like I am going to miss the sun rise yet again.

Pulling out my camera and tiny tool kit, I began to work on the flash. Alright if I just adjust it here.... and then tweak this.

SPOING!

Damn it! I slammed my fists down on the table tightly gripping what felt like the worlds smallest screw driver. Taking a deep breath I went back to working on it.

10 minutes later.

click, click. Snap, Snap

Yes! Fixed it!

And it looks like just in time. Looking over Kate held out the tray of food and placed it on the table.

Looks good. I smiled at her.

“Let me know if you need anything else.” she smiled.

I will, Thanks Kate.

Nodding her head Kate turned and walked away. Slapping my hands together and rubbing them I grabbed my fork and dug in.

Everything here just tastes so good to me, I guess you could say this is the closest thing I have had to a home cooked meal in a long time.

The pancakes were perfectly fluffy, and drizzled with maple syrup and a dollop of whip cream in the center, the bacon was perfect and crispy where it melted in my mouth every time I took a bite, and my eggs were cooked perfectly.

Finishing up rather quickly I waved for the bill.

“How was it?” she asked removing my plate from in front of me.

It was amazing, as always.

“You really need to get out more.” she laughed. “Need any change?”

No thanks, I’m good. You keep it. Hey, it was good seeing you. I haven’t seen you since graduation.

“Well, if you want to see me again I’m here everyday of the week.” she smiled.

Alright, sounds good. Bye Kate and thank you.

“You’re welcome.” She responded hurrying off into the kitchen.

Walking outside the sun was finally raising and everything began to flare with color.

Perfect timing. I smiled to myself.

Time 6:30 am

18 year’s I've lived here and I’ve never really stopped to actually look at the beauty this run down town can hold.

Looking into the water I held my hand over my eyes to shield the suns glare. I could see fish swimming around happily, and rising to the surface for a small gulp of air before dipping back down and disappearing beneath the rocks.

Life is just so beautiful if you actually open your eyes and look at it.

SNAP, SNAP.

Click.

There is just something so calming about still water. I could just stare into it for hours, even days and never get bored.

SNAP SNAP.

Beep, beep.

What the fuck, low battery? Already. Fuck this stupid camera.

Turning it off I placed it in my bag, well that’s enough pictures of water for right now I guess. I frowned looking down as a fish swam up and grabbed a cigarette butt that floated by before quickly spitting it back out.

Now that’s just disgusting. I frowned.

I really hate people sometimes.

Reaching for a stick, and then stretching out my arm, I managed to cause a rippled effect to move the cigarette butt close enough for my to pull up into the grass.

Ok fish, you are safe for now! I smiled looking down as 5 little babies swam out from under that same rock.

Heading back towards my house, I decided to take a quick detour.

SHIT! I forgot to get my dad food and coffee. I groaned. Oh well...he probably wouldn’t eat it anyway. Pretty sure his last sandwich is still there not even touched.

Turning the corner to enter my street I looked over at the park. The once beautiful fence, now rusted and damaged from little assholes around the town. There was trash and left over food laying all over the broken cement top. Shards of glass from beer bottles were smashed and smushed into the grass. The only new thing in this place was the swings and the basketball nets. Looking over I saw two kids throwing a ball around.

“Haha loser! That’s an E for you.” one kid mocked.

“Fuck you asshole.” the other kid replied.

Pulling out my camera I quickly capture the two as one of the boys punched the other directly in the stomach. He started crying.

“Fuck you dude.” he said as he ran to exit the park. “I’m telling mom.”

“Don’t tell mom! Wait Get back here!” the other hollered as he ran after him.

SNAP, SNAP.

Well, that one will definitely be a good addition to my scrap book. Laughing out loud at the picture my camera began to beep, and then shut off. Great. I put my camera in my bag and headed over to the swings. Placing my bag on the ground next to me, I began to swing.

Back and forth, higher and higher. Getting lost in a daze.

I loved playing on these when I was a kid. The swing creaked as I swung back and forth. The memories of my childhood began to flash in front of me. All the times my friends and I would sneak out and meet here just to smoke a joint and drink beers that we stole from our parents fridges.

One time we ended up getting busted by the police. He was a rookie, and my friends decided it would be funny to mess with him. We had a bag full of stink bombs, which we lit and threw at him as he walked towards us. When they started to smoke and release the smell, all of a sudden the officer grabbed his throat and began gasping for air. We all panicked and ran away, we ended up hiding across the street in the neighbors rose bushes. MISTAKE. We were covered in scratches from the thorns afterwards. Finally when back up arrived what seemed like hours later, they ended up having to give him CPR and some oxygen. Little did we know he ended up having an asthma attack.

Needless to say that was his first and last day on the job. We also never got caught.

I just can’t believe we let this town go to shit like this, this placed used to be so beautiful and full of life, now its just surrounded by crime, punk ass kids, and lazy old people who spend 90% of their time on the front porch in rocking chairs scolding the teenagers as they walked by.

Swinging high enough, I launched off the swing and landed on my feet.

I should get home, Dad’s probably worried about me.

I paused.

Yeah right. Laughing to myself I left the park, luckily for me I lived right next door so it wasn’t far.

Time: 8:00 am

Reaching my house I noticed the mail had arrived. Wow, this is here early. Might as well bring it inside or else it will be sitting here for weeks just piling up.

Pulling out a stack of envelopes I quickly shuffled through them.

Bills, Bills, Junk mail, Junk mail, bills, bills. Great. Nothing for me. What else is new.

I always looked through the mail like I expected to receive something, even though every time I always knew none of it would ever be for me. Sighing heavily I stuffed the mail into the side pocket of my bag and headed up the front steps. Reaching for the door knob I pushed the front door open and this time closed it gently behind me, incase my dad had decided to finally give it a rest, and get some rest.

But no, Dad was still in the same spot I left him in.

Hey Dad, I’m home. Here’s the mail. I said reaching into my bag and then placing it on the desk. I’m sorry I forgot to grab you food.

“Great honey. How was school?” he asked.

Dad...I’m 21, I don’t go to school anymore.

“Right, right...well good to see you.” He mumbled with his eye glued to his computer screen while he rubbed his temples.

Yeah Dad, Always a pleasure. I sighed waving at him and heading up the stairs to my room.

To be continued...

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swiftpng · 5 years

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❥ — taylor swift’s summer essentials // a glimpse of her.

Summer is Taylor’s favorite season, so she’s always prepared when she’s out having a pool/beach day. She’s always got to have some kind of book, whether it’s poetry, a biography, or a good ole YA. In her beach bag, she carries around her phone, a Polaroid camera to document the day, a speaker that plays music, little things like hair-ties, a hair brush, sunglasses, waterproof red lipstick for touch ups ( she loves sticking to her signature red lips ), and Cetaphil lotion. She also must have long lasting deodorant and sunscreen, because she doesn’t want to be that person. When she’s feeling hungry, her favorite meal would have to be a hot dog, salty potato chips, and a cold brew. Blue Moon is one of her favorite beers. Cookies and cream ice cream and fruit Popsicles are her favorite cooling mechanisms. Skittles and watermelon are her top picks for snacks, along with having a good glass of lemonade or ice cold water. Taylor will also have a deck of cards, in case anyone wants to play a card game. If you need anything to make your summer day great, Taylor’s the one to go to!

first things first, how do you feel about the summertime?

Summer is actually my favorite season for a couple of reasons. One being that I am able to wear a dress almost every single day. I just really enjoy having beach days, gardening with my mom, and being able to take advantage of the warm weather.

would you say that you’re more of an enjoy the outdoors, or enjoy the AC type of person?

Definitely both. I love taking a long hike, but I also enjoy reading a book, with the cats cuddled up on my couch and the AC on, blasting cool air.

think back to childhood… what was your favorite part of summer?

Not being in school was a highlight. I would have all the time in the world to do whatever my heart desired and it let my creative juices flow. I once wrote an entire novel during the summer when I was younger.

now that you’re an adult, has that favorite part of summer changed?

Usually in the summer, I’m either on tour or planning my next album, so I try to cherish any free time I have. Also, not being in school is still the best.

are there any summertime rituals that you have to do? putting away winter clothes, readying the yard, breaking out the grill, etc.?

To get into the summertime spirit, I always change up the way my house looks. Home decor is really important to me in terms of the way I view the seasons. Getting the grill out is also a big indicator that it’s summer to me. If you’re interested in having a big steak with baked potatoes and green beans, I’m your girl!

do you prefer to do a lot of traveling during the summer, or hang at home and enjoy the time off?

I only like to travel to places where I know I won’t be seen. Paparazzi taking pictures of me when I’m trying to relax is a mood killer, but over time, I’ve learned that I only get one life to live and I shouldn’t worry too much about people looking at every move I make. If there’s a day where my anxiety is heightened, I usually just stay home. I keep myself busy by making a new recipe I found on Pinterest, or by watching one of my favorite episodes of Friends.

whether it be from childhood or adulthood – what’s your favorite summer trip that you’ve ever taken?

From the time I was two to fourteen, my family and I would spend summers at the Jersey Shore. We had a beach front house in Stone Harbor, and I remember every summer being a magical time.

what is your ultimate summer trip destination from your bucket list?

I would love to go to the Maldives or Bali!

do you have a pool at your place? if not, is there a particular place in town you go to cool off? maybe a friend’s, or the public pool?

I do have a pool at my place, and it’s one of my favorite things about my house. Laying out in the pool while relaxing on a pool float is one of my summer staples.

when you’re in the swimming pool, are you more about relaxing, or do you do a little rough housing?

If I’m alone, I’m all about relaxing and enjoying the sun, but when I have friends or family over then I’m all in on some rough housing. Don’t let me break out the pool volleyball net, because you’re gonna get the worst out of me. I love a little competition, and I can be brutal when I want to win!

ladies: bikini or one piece? and gents: shirts on or off by the pool?

I’m into both. Although I do enjoy mixing and matching bikini tops and bottoms.

you’re laying by the pool, drink in hand, sunglasses on – what song is playing that makes you think it’s summertime?

Not to self promo or anything, but my new single You Need To Calm Down is my summer jam. But, anything by Lana Del Rey gets me in the summertime mood as well.

any summer movie favorites that you can’t miss out on? whether it be an epic beach romance or a hot, sweaty heist film?

I love a good romance film, but I love watching classic teen films like Mean Girls, Clueless, and 10 Things I Hate About You.

it’s a beach day! do you spend more time on the sand, or in the water?

The little kid in me still loves making sandcastles and building extravagant pieces. I do go into the water, but I have a deep fear of sea urchins.

are there any special things that you like to do while at the beach? surfing, building castles, hunting for shells…?

Building at least one sandcastle is a must for me. Also, I have a tendency to bring home sea shells since I have a small collection of them at my place. I once was a cafe getting ready to pay when a whole bunch of sea sells fell out of my bag and the lady at the cash register told me that they only accepted cash, so there’s that.

do you tan easily, or burn? and are you always as diligent with the sunscreen as you should be?

I don’t know if I tan easily, but I rarely get sun burned. I try to use as much sunscreen as I need so I can avoid the harmful effects of the sun.

easy one… do you freckle in the sun?

I don’t, unfortunately! My best friend Abigail does, and she looks really beautiful when all of her freckles come out.

what are some activities or hobbies that you pick up during the summertime? anything you look forward to doing the most?

Hosting pool parties, trying out new recipes with vegetables I’ve grown from my garden, and taking long hikes are some of my favorite summer activities. I really want to learn more Spanish before we head to Spain, so that’s going to be something I’m going to focus on in the next few days.

you’re loading up the grill for a summer barbecue… what’s going on it?

Hot dogs, burgers, and chicken wings. Those are the three meats I’m pretty much set on making every summer. I always try to make veggie options as well, so I really love making corn on the cob, stuffed peppers filled with rice, and a variety of smoked vegetables.

and finally… favorite hot weather treat to cool off?

Cookies and cream ice cream with a pretzel cone. So, so good.

#bviewtask #( ❛ ░ ▌ it's my life so truth be told // tasks.#tw food #this took longer than i expected fsdofj but i'm going to get some lunch and hopefully get to my replies!

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cutiecrates · 5 years

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Cutie Reviews: Kira Kira Crate Jan 19

Alrighty guys, here we are :3 As I already explained a few times, I will be skipping the January NMNL box as I reviewed that back when we got it, due to the major overhaul the box had. I’ll be resuming that brand when I get into my February boxes.

Also, before I begin I had a few other things I wanted to touch up on. I got an email this morning from Yume Twins, apparently they plan on modifying the boxes again. I’m not sure how yet though, but if it’s an “extreme change” like NMNL then I’ll probably make a post on that.

The other thing I wanted to mention is that my box in this review is missing an item. I’ll explain more about that inside the post.

This months theme: New Year, New You

“As winter is in full swing, moisturize your skin all over your body through the cold and dry conditions. January’s curation is set to target your entire body from your head to your hands!“

Missing Item: Daruma Bath Bomb

So as I said on top my box is missing an item. No clue what happened to it, my box was sealed and didn’t look tampered with. I took pictures and sent a message to the people who make the box but they were unable to explain what could have possibly happened to it; so my guess is my box was simply overlooked or they ran out by the time they got to mine.

As the box was sold out and they had no more of these they could send, they gave me a refund on the bath bomb instead. It was a little disappointing, but they quickly responded and listened to me, and tried to make it up to me; which made me feel at little better.

So with that in mind, I’m not going to be rating this item. We will now move on to the other stuff, which I actually did get :P

Rice Facial Mask

I couldn’t help but think of how familiar this was. The packaging is different (besides the white and red coloring) but does anyone remember me getting another pack of rice face masks from NMNL some months back?

This specific pack is made from fermented soy milk, four kinds of rice, and soybean extract. Using it continuously will provide soft, shiny, and plump skin while moisturizing it. It has a... sort of generic facial/lotion scent I keep bringing up when I review these products in various posts.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Because I was really curious, I took half of this mask and on the other portion of my face used half of the other brands mask. They smell the same and are probably made out of the same ingredients, and they felt the same after using them- but it was brought to my attention that the side with this mask felt smoother.

It might be because it was new, in comparison to the other pack which was older. But they had the same moisture when I was getting them out of the pack (the old one might even be more moist, it has visible liquid in the pack!), so I’m not sure what makes them different.

Silicone Face Mask

This item serves as a partner for the face mask, it’s a Silicone mask you put on over a face mask, and you use its loops to attach to your ears to hold it on. These are made to help your skin efficiently absorb more than what you would with just a mask on; kind of like the +1 bonus you’d get in a game for equipping certain items. It also helps to keep the mask on, so you wouldn’t be restricted while you’re using it.

Also, according to the package of this product the notches around the holes can be cut to alter the mask (I’m not entirely sure how, it makes it tighter or longer or something?), and you could even cut it to make two separate masks, a lower half and a top half.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥

I was excited about using this, because as someone who gets bored laying around using products some times I want the option to do other things. Unfortunately, this mask was way too uncomfortable for me to use. As far as I know I don’t have a big head, but this was a bit too tight around my ears and after like somewhere between 3-8 minutes I had to loosen it and play with a bit to try to keep it on, and by 10 minutes I gave up and took it off. I’m not sure if I just had it on wrong, or if it really is too small for me.

In saying that, I might cut it into two separate pieces as the back demonstrates. I noticed when I had one set of the loops on my face I was okay, but when I had both on it hurt. Beauty can be painful, but you shouldn’t be in a pain while relaxing >3<

Any long-time readers might recall that I do already have one of these, one that was black and cat-themed. It felt more comfortable than this one did honestly.

Hand Cream

I love items like this because there is usually a variety you can get per-box. Ironically I tend not to get the one I would prefer, but I end up happy nonetheless. For this month, the item was (as usual) a hand cream, available in 3 lovely scents~

This time we could get Citrus, Lavender, and Rose. I love roses, and lavender is very soothing, but I also happen to like bright citrus scents :3 so I was fine getting any of the three. Each tube features a pretty floral design and gold lid.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

My hands are already soft, but I can still feel a difference using this. They feel smooth, and it didn’t irritate the scratches I have (which aren’t visible in the pic because they happened after I took these). The scent itself... I’m not really sure how to describe it. Maybe like an imitation lemon-orange-floral-citrus scent?

I can’t exactly place it, but it smells really nice.

My only complaint I have is that I feel like they didn’t really give us enough in this tube. I used this once when I got the box and with hand cream you don’t need a lot, but I’ve compared it to my smaller/older tubes of similar product (same container and all) and from what I can recall/feel, they were more full.

2-in-1 Cuticle Pen

This is our last item, a handy little tool for keeping the beds of the fingernail clean, looking healthy, and moisturize them a little.

It has an amazing lavender scent, and (this is a stupid detail I just really like) you can put the cap on the end of the pen! So you don’t have to worry about losing it while you use the pen.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥

I love how it smells, and it looks pretty neat too. However, I’m not really sure if it’s been doing anything or not, and I’ve been using it for the past few days. It also kind of hurts a tiny bit to use, due to being like... a dried, oily substance. The previous cuticle pen I had like this used gel instead, so it felt a lot nicer.

Something else of concern is that as far as I know, what’s visible is the only piece you get. So if you accidentally broke it off, or damaged it I’m not sure it’d be usable anymore, but in saying that I haven’t noticed any physical changes to it since using it. So I assume it’s made to last a long time.

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Quality - 4 out of 5. I decided to count this considering they left out an item. Everything else was fine though, and there was no issues or damage done to the box so I’m pretty sure it was just an oversight.

Theme - ???? out of 5. I’m not really sure how to count this one. I know how Daruma can symbolize the new year and putting the old year behind, but I didn’t get that item. I get the concept of “new you“ with makeup items- but essentially they do that with every box don’t they?

Content - 4 out of 5. Sure, there was some tiny details I would change for a few items, but I genuinely really liked them. Again I have to count the fact there was one missing too.

Total Rank: 8 out of 10 Cuties. Missing item, tiny details, and theme confusion aside, I genuinely really liked this box :3 I’ve been a bit iffy as of late with the past few but this one I really, really liked. It was full of items I enjoyed using, and it’s all re-useable (not counting the missing bath bomb) and practical. I would definitely recommend this specific box and/or it’s items.

♥ Cutie Scale ♥

1. Hand Cream - It feels so nice and soothing, the scent is really nice, although it fades pretty quick. I also really like the design; I’ve always had a fondness for soft floral images.

2. Cuticle Pen - I love it’s strong lavender scent, it’s so soothing~ I also kind of like how the pen looks too.

3. Rice Face Mask - I like that we get a set pack of these, I think they work pretty well. The masks are plain, and the scent isn’t that impressive but I didn’t hate it either.

4. Silicone Face Mask - it’s clear and fun to look at, even if it did hurt a little. I’m sure if I do some snipping I can make it more comfortable.

Alright, that’s it for the January Kira Kira crate :3 Next up will be Kawaii Box and Tokyo Treat, so until the next time, remember to open up a box of cuteness!

#kirakiracrate #cuticle pen #citrus hand cream #rice facial

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dork-empress · 5 years

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Why You’re All Wrong About The Seasons

Hello Tumblr. Every year I see it, people hatin’ on Summer & Spring, the warm seasons, and lovin’ Autumn and Winter, the cold ones. And every year I see the same arguments about it. And of course, everyone is entitled to their opinion, and you’re allowed to have yours, of course.

But your opinion is wrong.

“Oh cold is better cause you can just put on a sweater, what are you gonna do if its too hot? Take off your skin????”

Ok, we’ll take this in two parts. Yeah, you can ‘put more on’ but unless it covers EVERY INCH OF YOUR SKIN, whatever you put on is going to create uneven temperature zones around all of your body, making your hands and face a cold dry chapped desert, and your torso a sweaty swamp. Plus it takes approximately 10,0000 years to put on all that stuff (insert A Christmas Story Clip Here) and then you have to take it all OFF and that is precious time I do not have. I have jeans, a t-shirt, and sandals MAXIMUM.

Second, no, of course you don’t take off your skin. You get a fan. Or ice cubes. Freeze a bottle of water and drink it throughout the day. Go to a pool! EAT ICE CREAM! FUN things. It is FUN to cool down.

“Ugh, Summer makes you all sweaty and its sensory hell” UM?! HOW ARE SWEATERS NOT SENSORY HELL (sidenote: everyone has different sensory issues, this is mine) Everything’s dry and chapped, and to counteract that you need LOTION which is slimy and gross and weird and I HATE IT.

I’m actually better with Sunscreen, because the parts of you that you cover in sunscreen you then leave exposed TO THE SUN. The lotion you have to put on is then covered by clothes and it feels icky and weird.

Also, weather. Now climate change is terrible everywhere so all the weather is screwy and bad. but in summer, you get storms. some of which are bad. In WINTER you get BLIZZARDS. WHICH ARE LIKE STORMS BUT THE EVIDENCE STAYS FOR MONTHS. And it gets all in the STREETS and then the streets have to be PLOWED, and then there are terrible greyish salty ICE SCULPTURES which will be around until may, and you can’t WALK anywhere without slipping, and theres WIND that ATTACKS YOUR FACE AND ANYTHING YOUR HOLDING and AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

In conclusion, the truth of the matter is, no one likes hot OR cold temperatures. We were all designed to live in that nice luke-warm area, and thats where we’re most comfortable. The argument of which is better is null because theres not a whole lot we can do about the weather (except you, corporations that are actively changing our climate. But I don’t think you’re reading this, so)

BUT IF I HAVE TO LISTEN TO YOUR COMPLAINTS ABOUT SUMMER EVERY YEAR, YOU GET TO LISTEN TO MY COMPLAINTS ABOUT WINTER

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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tiara620-blog · 5 years

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FIELDWORK#2

CLOTHING :

Tops (30+) $10-$30) Need/Want: I think having this many shirt is a want and need because I want to have all these shirts but I only need about 5 shirts to last me the week but I want to switch up things.

Pants (17) $20-$50) Need/Want: I really don’t need all these pants I only need like 5 but I also want to be able to have a variety.

Jackets (4) $20-$80) Need: this is a need because I have one big jacket for the winter and the rest I can wear throughout the seasons.

Shoes (15) $20-$170) Need/Want: I don’t really need all these shoes more like 2 good pairs but I WANT to step out.

Socks (20) $10-$20) Want: I like buying a bunch of different Mitch match socks.

Underwear (30) $15-$30) Need/Want: I know I don’t need that many underwear but I want to have a different selections.

Glasses (2) $100-$200) Need: I need to be able to see.

Contacts (2 boxes) $40) Want: I want contacts because I hate wearing my glasses.

Personal HYGIENE:

Soap $7 Need : need to be able to wash everyday

Lotion $11 Need : don’t need to be ashy skins gets really dry.

Tooth paste $3 Need: that breath can’t be funky so definitely a need.

Toothbrush $2 Need: need to keep the teeth nice and white.

Lipgloss (5) $5 Want: I want lipgloss so my lips wont be dry and I buy that many because I always end up losing them.

Perfumes (6) $10-$20) Want: I just want it to smell good.

Comb/brush $4 Need: I need to always keep my hair done.

Electronics

MacBook Air $1,000 Want: I wanted this laptop but I really could have got a cheaper one.

iPhone 8 plus $600 Need: I need to be able to talk to my mom and others.

Apple Watch $300 Want: I don’t need one because it does the same thing as my phone and computer.

Lamp $10 Need: when my cousin is sleeping I can just use my lamp instead of turning the light on

Microwave $40 Need: I need to be able to heat my food up when it’s cold.

Refrigerator $200 Need: definitely a need so I can keep my leftovers cold and juices.

School Supplies:

Book bag (1) $13 Need: to hold all my work and computer

Binder (2) $3 Need: keep all my school work in.

Planner (1) $7 Need: It helps me stay organized and on task.

Notebooks (4) $4 Need: I have a notebook for each class.

After, completing this assignment it made me realize half the stuff I listed I really don't need it’s all just wants. This has also shown me that the wants that I listed are influenced by our society like having a MacBook, Apple Watch, and iPhone these are WANTS something I don't need. in conclusion, I’m going to start making an effort on buying stuff that I NEED and not WANT and try to make it affordable for me.

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eimagines · 6 years

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what are you afraid of? // kai anderson

pairing: kai anderson x reader genres: smut summary: you decide to spend the day at the anderson’s to watch the final presidential debate. when kai flips out and ends up getting voilent with one of winter’s other friends, and you have no way home, you spend a little time with the blue haired male instead. warnings: i mean... unprotected smut? dirty talk because I imagine kai to be a talker. also mentions of sexual harassment. word count: 4600

“Are you sure it’s okay to come around? I don’t want to intrude if you’re with other friends.” You spoke to Winter through the phone that was balanced between your face and shoulder as you fiddled with the keys to your beat up old rustic car, attempting desperately to keep hold of the bottle of wine you’d just bought.

“Of course it’s fine! You can’t come all the way out here and not come see me, I miss you!” Winter complained. “Fine, fine! Text me your address and I’ll be over soon!” “Bring wine!” Winter laughed. “Already on it.” You smirked. After you turned on the car ignition and input Winter’s address into your phone, you started on your short lived journey to the Anderson’s, smiling as you reminisced the first time you and Winter had spoken.

During the first week of your first semester at college, you’d secured yourself a job in a local bakery, and was tasked with the job of handing out promotional leaflets around campus. After successfully giving out only around ten flyers, a group of students decided it would be great fun to smack the pile of papers out of your hands, sending them flying across the ground. The wind carried them off all over the place as they shared laughter. The only person who stopped to help you as you got onto the cold concrete floor to collect the few remaining flyers was Winter.

She bought you a coffee after that, and convinced you to skip work the next day to join her for wine and pizza; you didn't turn it down. You were fired a week later, but it was all worth it. Winter had become one of your best friends at college and since you were around her current area and knew just how into the election she was, you thought it could be fun to hang out for a while.

After your car came to a bumpy halt along the sidewalk of the Anderson household, you grabbed the wine and made your way towards the front door; the lawn sporting both right and left wing flags making you slightly more interested in the politics battle currently going on inside.

You only had to knock twice before Winter answered, swooping you up into a hug.

“Thank god you’re here, the debate is just about to start.” Winter explained as she led you down into what you could only assume was the basement.

Truthfully, you weren't all that interested in politics, and, although you knew who you were putting your vote in for, you really only came along to support Winter as you were very familiar with how seriously she took this election.

Once you’d been completely enveloped in the darkness of the basement Winter introduced you to her two friends who were happily nestled on the large couch, and her brother, Kai, who was typing away furiously at his keyboard.

Winter had mentioned her brother a couple of times but you’d never pictured him to look the way he did. Blue hair long in front of his deep almost black eyes. He looked strong and broad and his facial structure looked very shard and pristine despite having only the light from his laptop shining up from underneath his chin. Truth be told, Kai Anderson was hot.

Kai had watched you as you walked down the stairs to the basement, his eyes tracing every inch of your body from tip toe to thigh to waist to face. He’d not recognised you, and so he was immediately interested, not really acting as though he was paying much attention to the things you said or the way you said them, but in actuality, only focussing on them as his eyes bore holes into his computer screen.

The debate hadn’t long started and the group of girls were in fits of giggles as Trump spewed out more and more word junk. You stayed silent, choosing to do so as you felt slightly out of place and uninformed on the subject as a whole. You were actually paying a lot more attention to the blue haired man sitting in the chair across the room.

“I wonder if this is how black people felt when Obama became president.” Winter said meaningfully, to which you held back a snicker at the ridiculousness of the statement. Kai could almost feel you hold back a laugh as he slyly peered over into the conversation.

“I think Hilary is even more important that Obama.” One of Winter’s friends stated. You held back your eye-roll as her droned out voice attacked your ears. She continued to go on about Women’s rights as you stood up and walked across the room to pour yourself some wine, standing at the table Kai was so persistently typing away at.

Kai watched you saunter over from the corner of his eye, watching the way your hips moved and hands fell delicately at your sides. The girls broke out into laughter as the two candidates threw insults back and forth and you could almost feel the annoyance radiating off of Kai.

Winter began to speak as you finally unscrewed your wine and poured yourself a glass, “This is going to be the biggest loss in electoral history.”

“Wanna bet?” Kai finally spoke challengingly, his eyes not leaving his laptop screen and his deep slightly raspy voice adding to the cold mysterious shroud he had himself wrapped in.

“I’ll bet!” Winter’s short haired friend spoke up, amused, “If Trump wins you can fuck all four of us!”

You slightly choked on the wine you were sipping at as Winter protested in disgust.

“It’s never gunna happen.”

“You guys don’t get it. Precious Obummer has shielded you from whats really going on out there.” Kai had stopped typing.

“Right. Economic anxiety, aka, racism.” Winter replied.

“People hate her,” Kai started, “She’s weak. Remember what happened a few weeks ago at the 9/11 memorial ceremony? She had to be carried to her car. Everyone knows its early on-set Parkinson's.”

Winter rolled her eyes as Kai continued, “They hate the sound of her voice, they hate the fact she cant satisfy her husband.” This caused you to hold back a laugh to which you earned a rather nasty glare from Winter’s friends. “The world isn't this progressive happy place you think it is, okay? People tolerated the black guy but nobody wants a women president. Not even other women.”

“Who told you that? Your 4chan pepe frog fucking buddies?” Again you held back a laugh, taking a seat in your original spot to watch whatever sort of argument was currently commencing.

Kai and Riley continued to argue over the ‘passion of the angry white man’ until Kai slammed his hands onto the table, standing up and delivering a very angry rant on voting for Trump.

“It is all about shame and humiliation for you assholes,” Riley got into Kai’s face, your heart began to race as you could clearly see Kai’s anger bubbling up from within him, “Y’know we should start some sort of government programme to get you all laid so you’ll shut up.”

Kai’s eyebrows started to knit together, his rage towering over him and you could almost see it. You stayed quiet, out the picture, sipping your wine, you weren’t involved in this and you didn't need to be.

“Y’know you probably wouldn't even need to get fucked, just some pretty girl, smiling at you, telling you how important you are. Have you ever noticed how all the alt-righters are young men? And non of them have girlfriends?”

“Isn’t that enough now? I think you both made your points, Riley.” You interrupted, not to defend Kai just to maybe help calm down the very intense situation.

Riley didn’t listen, only sending you a snarl over the laughter as she continued, “Hey Winter, uh, get me some lotion I’m gunna give your brother a handy so-”

Kai hand came hurtling down against Riley’s face so fast you almost felt it yourself, like a loud crack of a gunshot through thick crisp air. The silence that followed was astounding and you wished you’d have just left before this debate even happened. Kai instantly regretted his violent outburst as he attempted to correct his mistake, fawning over Riley only to be threatened with charges and receiving a harsh word from Winter.

The three girls left to what you assumed was to take Riley home, leaving you alone with Kai, who was clearly distressed and regretful.

“You like wine?” You asked, attempting to break the uncomfortable silence, standing up and walking over to the table to the opened bottle and glasses. Kai looked at you confused as you sat next to him on the couch, passing him a glass, “Here. Have this.”

“You’re not gunna run off or scream at me?” Kai asked, confusion etched on his face.

“I mean, I think she was being a bitch, unrightfully, but you maybe could have handled it a bit better.” You said, a small smile creeping onto your face, “I’m [Y/N] by the way.”

Kai stayed silent as he gulped down his wine and you attempted to search for your car keys. After a good solid five minutes of searching, worry started to set in as your keys were still lost, undetectable within your rubbish bin of a handbag.

“Looking for something?” Kai asked, his interest still peaked at this stranger fumbling around his room, unfased by his violent outburst.

You sighed, “My keys, I don’t know where I’ve put them.”

“You drive here?” He asked.

“Yeah. If I can’t find my keys I don’t know how I’m getting home. Plus my roommates are all away right now so I’m living alone.” You ran your fingers through your hair and over your face in slight despair.

“You could always stay here. I mean, the house is big enough and I’m sure Winter will be back soon.” Kai stood up from the couch to retake his position on the rounded coffee table in front of his computer, closing the lid over and adverting his attention to you.

You looked at him as you stood across the room, tossing your bag back onto the couch, finally giving up on your endless key search.

“Only if that’s okay with you and Winter? I don’t want to intrude or overstay my welcome or anything.”

“You aren't overstaying your welcome at all. You're always welcome. And I’m fine with you staying, you don’t need Winter’s permission.” Kai explained, giving you a smile, “Come sit with me.”

You didn't even question his command, just thankful you’d have a place to stay for the night, and followed his words. You sat facing him on the rounded dimly lit coffee table. He leaned forward, his elbow on the table.

“I wanna try something,” Kai said outstretching his pinky towards you, “You in?”

After hesitating and not fully understanding what you’re supposed to do or what Kai even wanted, he explained, “When me and Winter were kids, we’d link pinkies. Once that small physical contact had been initiated we’d speak with nothing but honesty.”

You gave Kai a look of confusion as he willed you into linking pinkies, “What are you afraid of?”

“Not you or your pinky thats for sure.” You smirk, linking your smaller pinky finger with his. He smiled at this. He wanted to know you. He wanted to know your darkest secret, your fears, your hobbies, you enemies and your friends. He wanted to know what made you, you.

“Complete and utter truth from here on out.” Kai said with a devious smile on his face, “What are you afraid of?”

You paused to think on the question for a moment. “I don’t like bugs, but thats a dumb answer. If I’m afraid of anything, I’m afraid of myself.”

Kai seemed pleased with your answer and pressed further, “Why yourself?”

You sighed, “Why do you wanna know?”

“Just answer the question.” Kai demanded with a look of disapproval. You realised quickly that Kai did not like to be challenged. It made you uneasy and Kai could see it.

“Are you afraid of me?”

“No. I’m afraid of myself I told you already.”

“So explain.”

You bit your lip, “I often find myself in situations that are dark or dangerous and the only reason for it is because I think chaos is sort of fun. I’m attracted to things I shouldn’t be attracted to. I’m scared that one day I’m going to take it too far, end up hurting something or someone.”

Kai smiled evilly and you knew that right now you’d done exactly the thing you’d admitted to being afraid of; gotten yourself into a dark situation with somebody who clearly wasn’t right in the head, yet, you found it thrilling.

“Like, murder?”

“Who knows, maybe. I just don’t see myself taking a liking to becoming dark and dangerous myself.”

“Why wouldn’t you like you?” Kai pressed further, “If you’re so attracted to the thought of things that aren't looked at in society as acceptable, why wouldn’t you want a piece of it for yourself?”

You knew Kai was the manipulative type. It was almost as if he was trying to get you to break, trying to turn you into the monster you were afraid of becoming. “Why would you be afraid of becoming something you find so appealing?” You kept telling yourself ‘because its not right’ but something in Kai’s dark eyes and smirk told you otherwise.

“What was your most embarrassing moment?” Kai asked, changing the subject before you could think on challenging him more.

“There’s plenty to chose from,” You sighed, “I guess the most embarrassing was in high-school. I’d been seeing this guy for a while. We’d gone to his house to ‘study’ and I’d fallen asleep. Whilst I was asleep he’d taken photos of me, photos that weren’t necessarily the most PG.”

“Asshole.” Kai commented as he listened to you intently.

“He sent them to all of his friends. And then they sent them to everyone else.”

“How did it feel?”

“It felt like everyone in the whole world was laughing at me. I was heartbroken. I was humiliated. It felt like I was all alone in this shitty shitty world.”

“Do you want them dead?”

You hesitated, looking towards the coffee table and letting out a sigh, “In the moment, I thought about it, but right now I don’t.”

“Why not? Who are they to humiliate you and expect no justice?”

“Who am I to decide who gets to live and who doesn’t? Granted, they’re shitty people and I hope shitty things happen to them, but I don’t want that on my shoulders. Why would I want to become as bad as those who hurt me?” Kai simply only became more and more interested in you as you continued, watching every word pour out your mouth intently.

“Who do you want to win the presidential election?” Kai asked, changing the subject once again as he had received all the information he needed in your direct honest answers. Kai was slowly starting to feel as if he understood your personality.

“I’m voting Hilary, but I like Trump, in a weird way. I think he’s great at making the public angry. Do you know how much good shit has came from that?” Kai shook his head as he listened, “Did you know, since Trump has been forced into the public eye activism is motivating the masses? Pussy hats, protest signs, and weekend marches are the new normal and the arts and crafts industry is killing it! Planned parenthood has never seen so many donations. The women’s health nonprofit has been on the bubble of Congressional cuts for years, but public fury over the restrictive efforts by Trump and Mike Pence resulted in 400,000 private donations.” You ranted after having to stay so quiet around the girls earlier, finally allowing you to get everything off your chest. Kai stayed quiet, soaking in your words like a sponge to water, “Y’know people are realising affordable health care is a human right and not a wealthy privilege. Women are pursuing political office in record numbers and SNL has so much new good content. In a way, I think this country needed an asshole like Trump to scare them into getting shit done.”

“You speak with such power and passion.” Kai started, his voice quiet as he leaned forward a little more, “It’s inspiring.”

Kai knew you were smart, respectful and unpredictable. He could see you were wrathful, powerful, ambitious and knowing. He knew you would make a great alias, a great partner. Someone worth having around. He thought the way you spoke honestly was beautiful, as if he had finally found someone who could almost be his equal despite difference in views. He wanted to tap into that dark place in your mind, fully unleash you. He liked you. A lot.

Kai continued to question you from trivial things like family and studies to questions like “What is the most intense physical pain you’ve ever been in?” forcing you to delve into dark parts of your past you hadn’t thought of ever sharing with your closest friend, let alone a complete stranger. You realised Kai was manipulative from the first time Winter had spoken about him, but it wasn’t until you’d linked pinkies with the man you had understood just how deeply charming Kai could be to get information or get you to trust him completely.

Within such a short amount of time, Kai had managed to break down any wall you had put up around yourself and your life. He already had you wrapped up in his world; trapped in the palm of his hand and he was ready to play you like a doll and use you up and yet you were fully willing. The thrill of chaos had always been there for you and when you looked at Kai you saw a hurt man. A man who was completely enveloped in darkness and for some unbeknownst reason that darkness made you weak at the knees.

Kai wanted to ask what you thought of him, whether you trusted him or not, whether you liked him or not. He decided against this, feeling he often made every situation about himself and he certainly was not going to make this one about him. He wanted to know you. All of you.

“Are you a virgin?” Kai asked out of the blue, causing you to snicker. You shook your head, “Use your words.”

“Why?” You asked.

“Because. Your words own more power and meaning than simply gestures alone, and your voice is filled with power and beauty.”

“Fine,” You smiled, “No, I’m not a virgin. Happy?”

“I mean, I guess.” Kai laughed quietly. “Did it hurt?”

“No.” You answered immediately.

“How many guys have you been with?” Kai asked immediately back.

“Three.”

“Same time?”

“No.”

“Ever done anal?”

“No.”

“What’s one thing you’ve always wanted to try during sex?”

“I mean, I guess it’s always on a bed and beds are kinda boring. Too soft. Always the same. Theres not an infinite amount of things you can do on a bed.”

“You’d be surprised, maybe you’ve just been with the wrong guys.”

Silence had all too quickly invaded the room, a feeling of uncertainty washed over you as you finally spoke up, looking at Kai’s face intently, “Why are you asking me all of this Kai?”

Kai’s pinky tightened slightly as your [Y/E/C] eyes challenged his own, his dark rings clouding with lust as he traced his gaze over your lips. The image of your legs and thighs walking down the stairs to the basement earlier played on his mind, his thoughts wondering to how soft your skin would feel on his, a tent growing in his pants hidden by the coffee table.

“I just want to know you.” Kai let go of your pinky and stood up from his chair, “All of you.”

You weren't stood up too, afraid you’d said something wrong and now weren't welcome, but before you could speak up you were surprisingly met with Kai’s large hands grabbing at your face and pulling you in towards his own as he backed your body up against the round coffee table. His lips latched onto yours delicately, something you would not have expected from Kai. His hands ran through your hair, one staying at the back of your neck and the other positioned on your waist as your hands found their way into his blue mop of hair. You kissed him back desperately, the closeness of his body against yours as he forced his tongue into your mouth causing you to moan slightly, the kiss deepening and the tent in his pants rubbing against you.

Kai broke the kiss, your foreheads pressed against one another as his eyes intensely looked into yours. His hands found their way to your thighs, gripping onto them as he commanded you to jump. You did as you were told, Kai lifting you onto the coffee table, his body positioned between your legs as he started to place kisses along your neck.

“You’re so much more than those stupid bitches.” He sucked a deep purple spot on your neck, you throwing your head back at the feeling, his bulge still rubbing against you teasingly, “More beautiful. More ambitious. More smart. More brave. More powerful.” He continued to kiss and suck and bite at your neck in between every compliment, “Do you have any idea how hot that is?”

Kai’s hands found their way underneath your shirt, lifting it off of you with ease and discarding it to the floor. His came off too and you ran your hand over his chest in awe. Not long after your bare skin beneath was exposed to the air was he pushing you down, your back against the table, the cold hard wood beneath making you shiver. Kai’s lips explored every section of skin they could leaving small purple bruises in their wake. The feel of his skin on yours elesiting another moan from your lips.

“I could listen to you moan all day.” Kai continued, closing his eyes in sheer bliss at your sounds, leaning up straight and stopping his path of love bites to fumble with your jean buttons, “as soon as I saw you walk down those stairs I wanted to take these off, bend you over and fuck you.” Kai admitted as you lifted your ass off the table, allowing him to pull off your jeans agonisingly slowly.

“God, you look so good like this baby,” He spoke again, his eyes raking across your whole body as he unbuckled his belt and left his pants to fall to his ankles, his erection large and visibly throbbing through his underwear causing you to wriggle in anticipation. You attempted to create some friction by rubbing your thighs together but Kai only laughed at your neediness, spreading you thighs apart forcefully and trapping you underneath him; your legs either side of his waist, his arms either side of your head, his eyes staring deeply into yours. At this point you were desperate for any kind of friction or stimulation or touch and Kai loved seeing you so weak for him.

“Shhh, I’m going to give you exactly what you want,” Kai cooed, moving one of his hands down towards your south, the part of you that needed attention, delicately grazing his finger over your clothed warmth causing you to mewl. “What kind of man would I be if, after everything you just shared with me, I couldn’t give you anything back?” Kai pulled your underwear to the side, slipping a finger inside of you with ease, proud of how wet you were already, your back arching off of the hard table as he watched your face contort in pleasure.

“I’m going to give everything you want.” Kai whispered, pressing his lips to yours, sucking at your bottom lip and adding a second finger into you, coaxing another sweet moan from your mouth. “Tell me what you want. Use your words.”

You opened your mouth to speak but couldn’t say a word, your head rolling back in pleasure as Kai used his thumb to rub circles on your clit. Kai used his free hand to grab at your chin roughly.

“Look at me and tell me what you want.” Kai demanded, his dominant voice going straight to your core.

“I want you.” You said shakily, your eyes now watching him play with you.

“What do you want?” Kai repeated again, removing his fingers from you and standing up fully, palming his member and removing it from its confinements. It stood fully erect; hard with pre-cum spilling from the head.

“Fuck me. I want you to fuck me.” You replied pathetically, your cheeks heating up slightly at the words that tumbled from your desperate mouth.

Kai grabbed at your already spread thighs, dragging your whole body closer to the edge of the table. He lined his length up with you, not letting you prepare at all before he slammed his full length into you. You both moaned loudly at the much needed connection.

“Fuck,” Kai bit his lip as he pulled out and slammed back into you again, “You’re so tight, God, you feel amazing!”

Kai’s thrusts started out slow, but they were hard and deep. His hands grabbed at your waist harshly as his pace built up, his thrusts becoming faster, the sound of skin slapping against skin, moans and cusses filled the room, his thumbs digging into your skin hard enough to leave bruises.

The mere sight of sweat dripping off Kai, his long hair stuck to his forehead as he pounded into you over and over again had you a moaning mess. You sat up on your elbows to get a better look at him, the change in position angling his thrusts all the more deeper into you, both of you throwing your heads back in pleasure.

Kai could feel you tightening around his length, the ball of pleasure within you building up quickly. “Does it feel good to have me fucking you, huh? Pounding you into this table? Fuck,” Kai attempted to help send you over the edge, leaning closer to you, chests pressed together as he started kissing and biting at your neck, desperate to be closer to one another and whispering into your ear, “God you feel so good around my cock.”

Your moans continued to increase in pitch and volume. Kai reached down to stimulate your clit, rubbing in fast circles whilst still slamming his entire length into you hard, “Cum for me [Y/N]!”

You screamed out Kai’s name as his deep demanding voice and groans, the feel of him completely controlling your body, and sounds of a hard fuck sent you over the edge, coming undone with your fingers pulling at his hair and tears brimming in your eyes as he fucked you through your orgasm. The sound of his name tumbling out of your lips, the feeling of your walls convulsing against his throbbing length, the look on your face as your orgasm washed over you sent him into complete ecstasy, releasing inside of you and grabbing your hips hard, grinding his hips into yours as he rode out his own high. He groaned your name over and over until he finally pulled out, letting his head lol against your shoulder, your legs still wrapped around him and his arms finding there way around your waist tightly, both of you attempting to get your breath back.

You opened your mouth to speak, but instead, Winter’s voice boomed from upstairs, “Couldn’t you two have fucked in a bedroom at least?”

“Nah, beds are boring.” Kai called back.

A/N: I am British and know very little about the Presidential election so please forgive if I don’t make any sense, I got all my info online! Also if the cult timeline doesn't make sense as I don’t know whether this was before the cult started please forgive! First time writing smut lmao, feedback would be appreciated! I’m also open to requests!

#kai anderson #ahs #kai anderson x reader #evan peters #evan peters imagine #kai anderson imagine #kai x reader #kai imagine #kai ahs #evan x reader #evan imagine #ahs cult #cult #smut #kai anderson smut #kai smut

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thegastricadventure · 3 years

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Packing!

I’m a bit anal retentive. I am very guilty of making lists upon lists upon lists and packing between 2-4 times just to ensure I have everything. It will get progressively worse as time creeps closer to my dead line or appointment. I am honestly this way about almost everything I do though.

So onto the packing section of this blog. I figure I am skipping around and missing things, but I started this a week out from my surgery so you are going to go down the hysteria bouts I go through and my thought process. This evening was the start of packing my bag.

About a week ago when I found out my insurance had approved me, so my worry level sky rocketed! I started making lists and going to various sites and looking up packing lists. I began to compare them to each other and my own changing, tweaking and removing things and adding things as needed. I needed to remember I am going to the hospital not a spa vacation. I didn’t need to bring four outfits, even more so if I was only staying one night and two days.

Was I going to bring my laptop? Could I just get away with my tablet? Do I bring a book or my switch? Do I bring work with me? Should I bring straws? Do I need this? Do I need that?

It is/was stressful! So I decided to approach this as if I’m going to a shoot of mine that has me on the ground for 26 hours. That made it a lot simpler. You bring what you are wearing the day of, something for night time and something clean and sanitary for the next day if needed.

The next thing was a bag. I didn’t need my carry on. That seemed a bit excessive. I didn’t want to bring a purse, but I guess I would if needed to. So as I have said in previous posts I am involved in Girl Scouts. This last year my daughter and myself both were part of the S’mores Club (it is an award for selling cookies and fall stuff every year). Last year’s reward was a hoodie and an overnight bag. It was the perfect size!! So I have the vessel picked and now onto clothing.

When you are going to the hospital you have to make sure everything you take with you is washed, sanitized and if you are me, put into a bag to keep germs from touching and such because I am having surgery and I am not getting an infection!! --- Okay maybe I wouldn’t go that far but I did clean my clothes and put them straight into the bag after making sure I had everything together.

So what clothing did I pack? Well it took a while, but I think I whittled it down to the base of what I feel I need.

2 Socks

1 Non-slip Socks

2 Pants/Shorts

2 Shirts

3 Underwear

1 Long Sleeve Shirt

Extra Mask

Winter Hat

Now, lets into why I ended on this list. I live in the Rockies. Well I actually live in the plains that lead to the Rockies. My surgery is taking place in the Foothills (the start of the mountains). So I had to adjust some of my list as we got 14″ of snow a few days ago. So I decided the hat and the long sleeve shirt were a must. The last thing I needed was to get sick right after getting my stomach cut on.

Non-slip socks I think speak for themselves. If I could get away with being barefoot in the hospital I totally would! However, they kind of frown on that, I learned all about that when I got my tonsils taken out and had to stay the night because of oxygen levels. The other socks are for the same reason as the long sleeve shirt, being cold blows.

I am taking one pair of pants and a pair of shorts. While I know I am not going to be with it, I do know I sleep hot. If my knee reconstruction surgery taught me anything it was I could not cool down at night. So shorts were a must and so was the pants for when I went home.

Shirts and underwear, you need to keep the stomach area clean and change things that absorb sweat and oils. Like I have stressed before you don’t need an infection at any time, let alone right after you had surgery.

So that rounded out what I packed for clothes.

Toiletries was probably the hardest for me. I have a lot of things I do everyday for my skin care and I realized I probably won’t be able to do everything. So I went back and forth over everything I wanted to bring and what I wanted to do the longest, seconded only by electronics! What can I say I love me some gadgets, but we will get to this soon!

It took a few days, but I finally got down to what I thought was the base needs for me. You don’t have to follow this if you don’t need all of it but it is what I felt I needed.

Tooth Brush

Mouth Wash

Water Pik

Tongue Scraper

Deodorant

Face Wipes

Moisturizer

Lotion

Lip Balm

Shampoo (From Hospital)

Brush

Hair Ties

Wipes

Hand Sanitizer

Body Spray

Tweezers

Nail Clippers

Whew, that seems like a lot, even writing it down a second time!

Most of this seems pretty basic right? Tooth care, brushes, shampoo and hand sanitizer. Now lets go through and look at the stuff that people will question, at least I did when I was packing it and writing things down

Face wipes, Moisturizer, Lotion and Lip Balm. These four things seem the oddest to me since I am going into a hospital but let me explain it. First, I have oily skin. I rarely break out but when I do it is under high stress environments and this is pretty stressful. Since I can’t bring my whole skincare routine I figured getting the oil off and putting on my sleep mask/moisturizer would at least be a good second. I use these on planes so why wouldn’t it work here? The Lotion and Lip Balm have two reasons and both are pretty much related. I live in the High Plains Desert, yay grasslands am I right? It’s also winter so the lack of moisture leaves your hands on the drier side sometimes, same with your lips. So instead of dealing with chapped lips or cracking finger nail beds this seems like a must have anyway. The other reason is at a hospital the air is even drier and it is very sterile. You may need it, so have it ready.

Body Spray, Wipes, Tweezers and Nail Clippers, Well, I want to smell good and if I am super sweaty I may not have the ability to take a shower so I am at least able to wipe myself down a little bit to make myself at least feel less sticky and gross. The tweezers and nail clippers are just because you never know when you could get a hang nail or need to pluck something!

I put all of these things in their own little packing bag. My daughter bought me one earlier this year for my purse (since I have almost all of these things carried in my purse at any given time) that gives a tie-dyed feel and says “Good Vibes” I figured she’d appreciate knowing that was the one I chose to bring.

We now move onto electronics. Oh be still my heart, this was enough to pull my hair out. What all do I bring?! So I made my choices and I am going to stick with them by golly!!

Tablet

Phone

Switch

Wireless Earbuds

Wired Earbuds (back ups for above)

Power Bank

Various Cords

Ext. Cord with extra outlets (and USB slots)

I’m not going to get too far into this, only because I know that everyone has their own needs, wants and desires. These are mine. I decided that I didn’t need my laptop for a night, but I also am aware that I could be stuck there for 2-4 extra days depending on things. I can live with all of this as my fix to stave off the tedium. I do however suggest if you bring wireless headphones you bring wired backups. I say this even if every day stuff, you never know when/if a battery will die, if you phone or whatever will refuse to connect. Save yourself the headache, bring a back up! The other thing, stores sell these little 3′ extension cords that had three outlets and 2 usb slots. Put it in your carry on or throw it in your school backpack. It helps so much, plus you could be someone's hero having an extra outlet for them to use.

Oh! Much like my toiletries have their own bag, all my cords have their own too. Plus little twist ties/rubber bands to keep everything together. It helps to keep things organized!!

The other things I bring don’t really fit in any of the other categories above. So let me list those as well. I have explanations for some of them but the rest are a just because reason.

Book

Mints

Oil Rollers

Lavender Oil

Tea Bags

Water Bottle

Straws

Hot Water Bottle

Throw

Pillow

Glasses

The book is there because I get really tired of staring at a screen sometimes. It is nice to have a change every now and again. Mints, well I know I can’t have them right away but I take them with me all the time. I can offer them to people if I have to. I feel weird not packing gum but at least these are enough to offset that. Oil Rollers and Lavender Oil, the oil rollers I have go on your wrist or neck. I have brought two, both are made to help relax you. The lavender oil is for the same thing, but I will probably put that on my pillow or throw to help keep me calm and such. I do have a special bag for the oils and such to go into, so they are easy to find for myself or anyone else.

The later bit of this list is a smidge easier to explain. The water bottle is because prior to the surgery I drink about 120 oz of water a day. I always have a water bottle near me, sometime I have 2-3 near me. I love my water bottle and this works for me to remember to keep sipping on water. Nothing is worse than getting dehydrated. The straws are there because I was told to bring some. It will help when you go on liquids the second day, or at least that it what my dietician said. She was also acutely aware that the nurses hate giving them to people. So why not bring my own? The tea is all peppermint tea, it is one of the few things you are allowed to drink after surgery, plus it can help with an upset stomach if you need it! I do also have a bag for the tea and the straws so I can keep them together! It makes my life easier this way.

The hot water bottle, throw and pillow are all for my comfort. I have to cover my stomach when coughing and I want to have something that is mine with me. The hot water bottle can help after moving around and when riding home in the car. I read a few other blogs that suggested it and it made sense! So that is what I am gonna do.

Glasses are well, just glasses. I don’t need them to read or to wear, I just wear them when I am working on electronics. I don’t like getting headaches and it does help to prevent that!

The must haves list is what I am required to bring with me to the hospital. It is pretty short and to the point really.

Three ring binder (with all the information & books in it)

Medication List

Spirometer

My medication list is always in my binder so that works for me, however you may not be as anal as I am and keep everything written in one place. I do suggest you do it, it makes keeping paperwork together easy!

The final list is what are you wearing to the hospital. Mine is short, sweet and to the point.

Pants

Socks

Undies

Bra

Shirt

Sneakers

Mask

Wallet

Jacket

Hat

Sun Glasses

Watch

My jacket has zipper pockets I can put my watch, glasses, mask and wallet into, I have another pocket I can put my hat into as well. It makes it simple and easy. Plus I won’t have to bring a purse with me! One last thing to keep track of

The final thing I would suggest if you are coming to/staying at the hospital alone (which is my case since COVID hit) is bring a simple luggage lock for your bag. It won’t stop anyone from possibly walking off with your bag, but it could stop them from going through it and taking anything. Password or finger print protect all your electronics if you can. Other than that have a safe day and quick recovery!

#journal entries #preparing

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