#also me: actually heres a whole essay on why hes the best person to exist on this earth :)

[mediacircuspod]

“The Magic Trick You Didn’t See” is an essay written by an author who is on Tumblr, user ariaste. I think it’s a very well put together argument for “The Book of Life Theory” that has merit. However, I think there might be too much editing going on. I will explain.

I want to start this by being completely honest. I’m not sold on any theories because in the past I was so incredibly wrong about countless theories on Game of Thrones that made complete sense, I swear. But also were me just making up reasons for how the story could go my way. I’m actually really into the concept of “wait and see” because it places me firmly in the seat of “audience” or “consumer” and those are, in my opinion, the best seats in the house. 

So I’m not really a subscriber to the coffee theory or the book of life theory or the body switch theory, NOT because I don’t think they’re true or smart or have merit, but because I would genuinely like to “wait and see”. Even if that wait is until 2027. I waited this long for season 2, I’m not afraid of a few years for a good story.

Anyway, go read the very long, but very intelligent google doc, because even if you’re not sure about the theory, it has some REALLY cool meta, and some interesting easter eggs that you might have missed upon viewing the season the first go around, the very long document is HERE.

Alright here’s some highlights. Basically the essay is about how The Metatron could be pulling strings on Season Two with the help of “The Book of Life” for a number of reasons. Corresponding evidence being the lack of God’s narration, Maggie as a character, Eccles Cakes, and a whole lot of meticulous details. I really, really love the format of the essay too, but that’s just me being a nerd about magic tricks and “The Prestige” as a concept and as a movie. 

Where I diverge on this theory is simply how liberally it is applied, as well as the use of “bad” to describe certain ways of writing. And this is where my hot take kind of lies; I don’t think Good Omens 2 was bad. On purpose or by accident. I’m not saying my opinion is right, I’m just stating that that is where my perspective comes from. Now. Let’s get into why I like this essay. 

It’s so cool. And detailed. And smart. I love reading things that connect dots and describe a persons critical thought process, and wow, this essay is incredible at doing all of that. The sheer amount of information I learned from taking the time to read it gave me a lot of insight about the things I missed on my watch of the season. I found I was a lot more distracted by the Austen-esque pacing than the author of the essay who noticed things like disappearing eccles cakes, how no one else’s power went out during Crowley’s lightning storm and a load of other things. But also, being “along for the ride” made me kind of protective of the story being told. Because Season 2 isn’t the beginning, middle, and end of a story, like season 1 was. It is the “quiet, gentle, and romantic” middle of a plot sandwhich.

In any case, the essay poses quite a few things. The only major issue I have is the idea that The Book of Life can alter will, and not just situation. I don’t think Crowley or Aziraphale are changed by the Book of Life. Their actions seem distinctly them throughout the entire season, which is exactly why the season needed to end on the note it did. Obviously from a story point, we need Aziraphale to go to heaven for what I imagine is the conflict of season 3; The Second Coming. But from an internal perspective, Aziraphale’s character demanded to make that decision. It wasn’t out of character, it was distinctly in character. And yes, he could have been influenced, or manipulated, or hiding something, but he’s been affected by all of those ideas for the entirety of his existence anyway. He’s had 6000 years of The Heavenly Host manipulating him, and he’s had exactly 4 years of being on his own side(openly) with Crowley. He’s going to still be susceptible to their tactics, especially if they say exactly what he’s been wanting to hear for his whole existence. “We were wrong, and you were right.” Metatron really pulled out every stop of the proper apology except for the little dance. We were wrong about you, We were wrong about how to run things, We were wrong about Crowley. You can come back and you can bring him and you can fix everything. Crowley refusing isn’t heaven’s fault, they still offered. It’s Crowley who rejected Aziraphale. (For good reason, but that’s not what this meta is about.) I made a post about Crowley and his relationship to forgiveness HERE, if you were interested.

So maybe things were changed by the book of life, the analysis on the opening credits is amazing, like great job. But I don’t know if they were. But that’s literally just me holding onto the plot of season 2 and shouting from the top of my lungs, “ITS ACTUALLY GOOD THOUGH BECAUSE I LIKE IT AND WHAT IT SETS UP” And who knows, we might be all wrong and what actually happened is that the whole thing was a very detailed dream that Aziraphale wrote down in one of his journals.

#good omens #good omens spoilers #good omens meta #good omens 2 spoilers #good omens 2 #go 2 spoilers #go2 spoilers #crowley #aziraphale #crowley and aziraphale #ineffable husbands #ineffable breakup

[floareadeaur]

I'm the anon who asked for hcs with ferid in intimate moments. I also think that such labels as 'vanilla' or bdsm don't fit him, I don't think that he would care about this stuff, and neither do I. But I couldn't find any better words to describe what I wanted to say. I also didn't want to write a long essay about it lol. I am curious about vampires' nature and how their emotions work.

First of all, I thought that you are a reliable person that can actually see Ferid for who he is. I also knew from the beginning, when I started reading the manga, that Ferid, and many other characters, aren't how the fandom perceives them as. It is sad how so many characters in such amazing mangas and animes get so misunderstood by the whole fandom. I knew that Ferid had many 'secrets' and that everything he shows to the world is simply a facade. I knew that he had hidden motives and he may be an antihero. I understood that he was actually a lonely and generous soul, besides all his masks that he puts on to hide this vulnerability of his. I don't want to write an essay about him, so I'll just say that I agree with everything that you write about him.

Second of all, because I realized that there's finally another person that can really understand these characters in OnS, I decided that it is best to ask for your opinion on this matter, since it confused me. I thought for a long time that all vampires are asexual, but I saw how many vampires in ons break the stereotypes of vampires in their universe. So I've been wondering for a while if Ferid can also feel lust. I like your writings and your perspective about him. I can also feel that you genuinely love Ferid, even if he's fictional, because of how much of your soul you put in these analyses and stories. I guess that the Seraph of the End fandom perceives Ferid like how so many other people in the ons universe view him as. That's why so many characters in OnS are driven to do something for their love for someone, but Ferid may be the only character who REALLY was unloved, alone and misunderstood his entire life. I sometimes wish that Kagami would add a love interest for Ferid that could understand and love him, even if the manga is not about romantic love, rather about familial love.

But it's worse when you're a ferid kinnie and the fandom also thinks that you kin him for being 'creepy' and a clown with daddy issues. LIKE WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS FANDOM?? I am part of many fandoms but this fandom is the worst one that I have ever been in. If I were Kagami and I saw how this fandom is, I would honestly kms. So much effort is put into these writings of Kagami, only to be misunderstood and fetishized by the whole fandom.

Hello!

Honestly, I did not expect to receive such a message. Usually, the feedback here is non-existent. I can say that it is one of the most beautiful surprises of my existence on tumblr. Thank you!

I prefer this type of communication, where people who read this blog talk openly and honestly with me, saying exactly what they think, what they like about what I write, or what they love about this series. Or, last but not least, what frustrates them about fandom.

Maybe it is because that is how I feel a real human interaction here, or maybe I just love discussing everything in depth!

Do not worry about using those terms. I have a very long opinion about the origin of "BDSM", or the way today's society influences such labels. All I can say is that, as you pointed out, I do not see Ferid falling into such "mechanical" labels.

I do not see many characters being into these labels, honestly. But I guess it is easier to classify characters under such categories in a black-and-white fashion.

To touch more on the topic you opened in the previous question, about what Ferid would be like intimately, I deeply emphasize his need to live truly, authentically and freely, as who he really is.

That is why I think he manifests very naturally and organically from an erotic perspective and just loves passionately, as it is said. Showing his real personality, being vulnerable. Love for him must be genuine.

Perhaps many do not notice this. But this character has extraordinarily sharp and objectively correct discernment.

For Ferid, good is good, bad is bad. His understanding of the world and values ​​is not distorted. That is precisely why he is so angry that his world, including his soul, is created from darkness, from a curse, a putrid origin. Because he realizes well what normality would be, something that does not exist in OnS. And he longs for this good and harmonious ideal.

That is why he is so frustrated and angry at those who should have given him genuine love: his parents, his older brother, Rígr. Remember how he tells Rígr, in their discussion in chapter 91, how he believes it is a father's duty to teach his son "the meaning of life". And beyond any irony, Ferid is right. It is the duty of the parents, the older brothers, the figures who have authority and responsibility over the little ones to genuinely love and care for them.

But Ferid was only objectified and used by all these people who played a fatal role in his existence, especially considering that he was a child, or at most a teenager when he interacted with them, meaning that he was an extremely impressionable being, an easily marked, vulnerable one.

And on the principle of his own universe, he tries to pay back all these people. Revenge is not something that makes him happy, given the ideal of a good universe that he would like, so he suffers.

But this tangibly demonstrates how Ferid knows what true love is, but has never met it. He tries to create it, going so far as to change the rotten origin of the universe that created his soul and holds him captive.

For me, this shows a special nobility of soul, a huge potential that Ferid has.

That is why I believe that if Ferid met genuine love, especially romantic, erotic love, he would give everything for it.

Of course, it is a situation he never encountered before, and he needs some time to get used to it.

That is why I described him in the previous answer as appearing "frozen" sometimes, stiff.

But if she truly loves him, Ferid opens up and resolutely offers a love of the same kind.

Ferid needs to be seen as human. A human person is not a label. How Ferid is not a label. A human person has a complexity of nuances, a paradox of experiences and feelings. Perhaps the hardest thing is seeing someone as human, not projecting your expectations onto them and just understanding that person.

In his love for his beloved woman, Ferid could be seen thus, humanly, in his complex reality with all the nuances. And he would see her that way too.

For the first time, he, who always truly reads people, would find something so harmonious in her being: the ability to be seen as himself through someone's eyes.

That is why I mentioned in several of my posts how Ferid would love to look into her eyes. Because her gaze would remind him of the sky, the place where he always looked for love and got no answer. But in that " sky " beyond her vivid, warm eyes, he now finds all he has sought all his life.

That is why I think that the way he would make love to her, how he would "be in bed" would be deeply derived from the way he loves her and how he feels loved by her.

I think it can be called "adoring" the way Ferid would make love to her. The way I portray every such scene with him in my mind is extremely organic, natural.

Their erotic intimacy would be a dive into the very lives of both.

It is precisely for this reason I see that Ferid has this tenderness and meticulous care for her. And at the same time that he leads her and is so dynamic.

Ferid simultaneously offers his sensitive fragility, his determined ability of leading to his woman. All in a lively, passionate form.

Thus I see that his every touch is so " consistent", " decided ".

It feels like a true dedication to her, how Ferid gives everything to their love, and I think this topic could be fleshed out more by me.

How the way Ferid touches his woman gives her safety and symbolizes how his true potential is given to a cause that makes Ferid truly happy. Why she loves him.

Why she loves Ferid Bathory, why she is melted in her intimacy with Ferid Bathory.

This subject is almost never touched upon in the writings of a fandom.

And that can lead us to what you were saying, why you love this character, why I love him.

I believe that the author of OnS has created vivid characters. Each character has a real human consistency. They are organically written, realistic for their contexts. That is why I think that each character can be admired, if we try to understand them as human beings in their universe.

I, at least, look at Kagami's works from a writer's point of view. I analyze literary, what were the intentions of the writer. Maybe that is why I also see these characters as living human entities in their fictional universe.

And I try to understand them like this. Before romanticizing, forming a romantic attachment, or a fantasy, I am focused on humanly understanding these characters and keeping their "living breath" further in what I write and analyze.

I think this is necessary in the understanding of some literary characters, especially when they are penciled in this way by the author.

Now, as I said, everyone understands everything as they can and as they want.

There was a time when I was so saddened by what you say, that the fandom does not understand any of the author's message. But I have realized that I had rather enjoy what I love than discuss what other people's opinions are.

Especially, Kagami said something that impressed me. He said how he never imagines "the voice of the fans" when he writes and that he is not interested in writing anything popular. He also said that he only writes from his heart, exactly what he feels and that he will always do only that, and how he strongly believes that if he does that, he will find his niche of readers.

There is a saying in my native language, "what comes from the heart touches the heart" and I think it is very appropriate for Kagami and OnS.

The author writes from the heart and his writings touch some hearts, as he touched mine, or yours.

This is nice and motivating enough for me so I can just enjoy this series that I love and ignore any unpleasant opinions of some strangers online.

At the end of the day, fandom does not define a series. As I said before, the canon material does not change. It is always there for those who want to read it, reread it, analyze it.

Thank you for answering me. It really means a lot. And yes, I can say "I love" Ferid, even if he is fictional. I love the humanity of the character and the way I can feel him "alive" in his universe. The way I can even discover myself, understanding him, and growing as a person, developing my soul and mind. This is what I do with Ferid, with this series, and I consider that the author has achieved his purpose as a writer with me!

In the end, you are right. It is ironic and sad how many in the fandom see Ferid just like most in his universe, but maybe that is the charm of this deep character.

Do not forget, he is named " unparalleled ".

Everyone in OnS does anything for the ones they love. But Ferid wants to change the very putrid origin of the world, the laws of the universe that created people out of hatred, just to have harmony, a real meaning, authentic love.

This universe has been corrupted since its creation, humanity is cursed and trapped as in Hell, and Ferid wants to solve this vicious circle, to break it.

I think this shows the nobility of this character, that he really is "one of a kind". And even though I wish he had someone to truly love him, I understand and appreciate the author's intent. The hidden nobility in Ferid's tragedy is something truly beautiful to me.

I would go into more detail about how Ferid would love his woman, how he would make love to her. But I feel like my essay is getting too long.

Please write me any questions you have. Just like that, just like now. I will gladly answer.

I think we can have some fascinating discussions!

Thank you so much for this heartfelt message!

Have a nice day to you and whoever finds this post!

#ferid bathory #owari no seraph #seraph of the end #ons #sote #ferid bathory x reader #ferid bathory imagines #ferid bathory analysis

[dmagedgoods]

Enderal for the fandom ask? (Because I'm sure someone else will ask for WOTR and IWTV)

Enderal

((No Interview with the Vampire yet 😁, but that's such a great choice, aaa, one of my favorite games in the history of ever. <333))

Favorite Male Character Jespar Dal'Varek, my beloved boy. Mercenary (and noble who really doesn't like that fact) and the character with the second-best romance I ever played in my life. I'm definitely drawn to hedonists with a melancholic side. He's much ... softer than Daeran though, if you're wondering, with a similar bitterness underneath but still ... gentle. I should also mention the Father. But how to talk about them at all without spoilers ... Leader of a secret cult who believes that the mind should defeat the body. Highly intelligent, highly mysterious and related to my favorite quest. I could write a whole essay about them, but I realize every word I mention about their personality takes away from the pleasure of discovering them yourself, so I'll stay silent for now. 😁 (Also, they are neither a male character nor a female character but agender.)

Favorite Female Character Natara Dal'Veram. Do I have a weakness for conceited, intelligent women in power? You bet. She's the Truchessa of The Holy Order. Sounds important? Is important! She fights the protagonist on every turn. Once more I can't go too much into detail without giving away plot twists, only that she's devoted and hard working and loathes the main character because they step into a high position without doing much for it (or so she believes).

Least Favorite Character The High Ones and what they stand for. I rarely ever hate the antagonist(s) of a story, this time I did. Also Grandmaster Tealor Arantheal for being a fool and slightly Yuslan Sha'Rim for making a certain decision. (I love-hate him though.)

Favorite Ship The Prophet (player character) and Jespar. The romance is so good. So good. You asked me once if there is an existing character Eneas would fall for. He was my Prophet and fell very hard for Jespar despite him being different from those he's usually interested in. I have to add that I played a very young Eneas to fit the story. Very angry, very lost. He changes over the decades. On the other hand, he will change in the Enderal universe too while growing older, and in similar ways ... Ah, so much to think about always.

Favorite Friendship Very weird answer I would love to explain should you ever play the game: The Prophet (player character) - or well, mine at least - and the Father.

Favorite Quote "The world would be a much better place if everyone could just acknowledge that the only reason we're here is that we want to be happy." (Jespar) "All those “heroes” and self-declared messiahs are no better than everyone else. In the end, we are all selfish, because we always act in accordance to what we think we have to be like." (Jespar) "… I've always considered responsibility and being happy to be contradictory. But actually, that's wrong, it's the exact opposite. In order to be truly content, we need... connection. To a person, to a cause, to anything. If you never find that, you'll never find yourself." (Jespar) "I led them into the light. I alone." (Tealor) Ah dammit, I could transcribe the whole game actually.

Worst Character Death (if any) SPOILERS: All of them. So many dead, so much despair, it hurts to even think of it. How to even pick, they'll follow me forever, this game goes so deep. Rynéus, I will never recover. Calia, she deserved the world and he couldn't save her. Lishari, why did it need to come to this, it broke my heart and his as well.

Saddest Moment It's a very sad game in general. Bittersweet. Heavy on the shoulders. SPOILERS: Rynéus' death after this flicker of hope. He would have adopted him. The ending and the last decision and to see it in all its cruelty.

Favorite Location Ark! I fell in love with the city and its people. Also Whisperwood. The atmosphere is beyond amazing and always makes me shiver.

Bonus, because Enderal needs its songs: I picked Eneas without knowing how well he'd fit into the role of the Prophet. German for those who like to hear the Original.

#enderal #y'all go and play it! #it's for free! #can you believe it #it's a mod #😭 #a skyrim mod #so much better than skyrim could ever dream to be #enderal spoilers #dmagedramblings

[my-strange-attraction]

I am a lesbian and I came across Lostryu’s post by way of a mutual of mine. I was curious and wanted to see your response. I have to say your rebuttal contains nothing of merit that could possibly fare as a proper argument. It’s chock full of contradictory statements and straight up lies. I am assuming you’re a USA resident, but the highest university with an LGBT+ population is Brown Univeristy; and only about 20-24% of people reported being LGBT+

As a fellow english major, it was painful to read. Constant contradiction with only half formed ideas; practically agreeing with Lostryu regarding the definition of lesbian only to backpedal…. And words do have meaning, that’s why we use them in our craft as wordsmiths. You can’t simply replace keywords with opposite definitions and expect your manuscript to make sense!

I also want to point out that you degendered Lostryu entirely, refusing to use correct pronouns. That in and of itself is very transphobic. I don’t really trust your judgment as it seems like you didn’t even care about reblogging from lesbian and transgender rape apologists.

I thought you might like to reflect on this, but I truly think you care more about your self-perceived moral superiority rather than actual people.

-🧁

Oh boy. Ok.

Well thanks for being so kind and civil and not attacking my character.

I know you don't trust me, but you gotta trust that a queerer school than Brown exists and I go to it. I can see where the confusion is, after doing a google search myself, because my school is pretty small and doesn't show up on a lot of searches for colleges in the US. I will give you that, after looking up the number myself, it's more like 50-70%, but I will tell you that less than a quarter of the people I know and talk to on a regular basis are straight and cisgender.

I'm not writing an english essay here, it's a tumblr post. If anything, this is a lot closer to how I would format a philosophy paper, which, if you've ever read one of those, are very rambly and have roundabout ways of getting to the point. Also, again, thanks for not attacking my character, here. Thanks for really respecting me and not discrediting my nearly completed degree. Really appreciate that.

I... have no words. I used they/them/theirs pronouns throughout the whole post, which, I cannot stress enough, are NEUTRAL pronouns. I use those pronouns for all people online, and I think most other people do too. Yes, I knew he used he/him and used they/them instead, but I also cut his username out of all my screenshots. I wasn't talking about him specifically, his post was just an excuse for me to explain a concept in depth, and explain why exclusionism such as what he was promoting is detrimental to the queer community as a whole.

I didn't include his username or @ him at all. It wasn't even meant for him to look at, really. He was an example, a nebulous person with an opinion I don't agree with. It wasn't personal, so I used neutral pronouns. I am really sorry it came across that way though, I never want to make anyone uncomfortable and I know pronouns are super important to pay attention to for some people. This is an actual sincere apology.

I don't think I'm morally superior, that's not the point. I don't argue with people on the internet in order to prove my opinions are right and that anyone else with different opinions has made a wrong and evil choice and is unredeemable as a person. Really this whole thing happened because the original post had some terfy red flags and even though op isn't a terf, I wanted to point it out so that people know how to spot it and avoid it.

And do I think it's bad for the community to exclude mspec lesbians? Yes, but I also understand where the frustration comes from. I don't think less of people who have that opinion, I just hope to change their minds, because I think a radically inclusive community is the best kind of community.

#god this post got long #i just. this whole exchange just makes me sad because theyre not even terfs #we actually have mostly the same opinions save for this one #his blog is pretty cool aside from the exclusionary stuff #but he and his followers dont want to try and understand where im coming from which is to be expected on the internet but still disappointi #oh well. i hope anyone who has been following this whole exchange got something valuable out of it #i almost didnt reply to this last anon but i did think it was important specifically to clarify the pronoun thing #i do feel really bad that it came across that way and it was never my intention #queer #genderqueer #labels #identity #cloudy rambles

[ppoppokari]

🎃…overall ship…🎃

@horanghaejamjam

goddamn katt, the self control i needed to not immediately write this ship, i'm so shy around you which is why i barely dm you but you're also the reason i like to procrastinate. i could write ships for you all day and fail university. you are my priority always <3

and just when I think i can’t fall for you harder than i already have 😩 the hair 😩 but like for real i was so excited to see you request again!!! i missed you so much 😭 the emojis are speaking for themselves but man I’m on cloud nine rn.

one extra special ship coming up!

i went so over word limit for this but i couldn't stop writing this, i have an addiction to this ship and i have to say this ship is the best one i've done so far, and it's extra special because it's for you. normally these ships are just over 600 words 630 max but holy shit this ended up having a word count of 1041. i literally struggle to write 1000 words of an essay but i can simp over you and this member and write a whole ass novel.

and such a sidenote but i just realised why i am so whipped for you and now it's so obvious, but it wasn't until you dyed your hair that i saw it. you remind me of a cartoon i used to watch as a kid, i used to watch all the time when i was 7-9 it was called ruby gloom and the theme song still slaps and you are literally irl ruby (even if your hair isn't red)! you're making me cry so much at that realisation

~ateez~ seonghwa🎃

This was the quickest decision I have ever made in the history of my indecisiveness. There is something that feels so beautifully domestic whenever I picture you and Seonghwa together, it’s so vivid that I can see the exact smile he would have for you, describing it wouldn’t give him justice so here you go.

You possess this incredible gentle nature and you are also the most honest and proud person I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. You transcend the need to hide so you wear your personality on your sleeve and it the most endearing thing in this world.

But I’m not the only person who thinks so, Seonghwa would be besides himself and it would really show in everything does. You bring forth this sense of docile innocence in him, even if you weren’t dating at the time Seonghwa would have the irresistible urge to open up to you and be his most vulnerable self.

Even though Seonghwa is very loving this would be a big deal to him, normally he feels that he has some control over the relationships that he has, both platonic and romantic, but in this case, he really wants to take the back seat and see what happens.

He adores your kindness and your willingness to even give him the time of day, even though he is the literal Park Seonghwa and he doesn’t owe you anything he still feels obliged to show you just how good a boyfriend he is.

I can’t say this enough you make him feel like a good memory, you bring him so much peace and he can’t imagine ever wanting to leave your side.

Before I return to the more drabbley section of my ship we need to address your absolutely stunning visuals! Each time I see you and your aesthetic I actually get so emotional.

You are so pretty in the most wholesome way and you are an absolute icon starting from your hair to your aesthetic outfits. You literally have forest pixie visuals and your eyes are just so hypnotic, it is only natural that I ship you with THE siren eyes visual Seonghwa.

Both of you are so dreamy and beautiful, but in a way that I haven’t seen before. You both exist outside of the standard beauty standard yet you also just outdo every beauty standard ever. I truly can’t express how fond I am of your visuals and combining that with Seonghwa you get a dream couple.

Now, the creativity that just about oozes from your fingertips will never not impress Seonghwa.

Following the soft domestic relationship dynamic Seonghwa truly loves how he can just stick close to your side and experience the most exciting sense of comfort.

Your internal black cat mom energy has rubbed off on Seonghwa and he really starts to assume the role of being the dad, aka, acting like a husband even if neither of you explicitly mention the idea of having a family.

But let’s be real he definitely wants to have a family with you whenever the opportunity arises. 

You’ve actually plagued him with so much wholesome energy that it makes the other members gag, it’s so sickening to see how gentle he is with you.  Seonghwa is actually shorter than you, so the most sickening act off affection you do is resting your head on top of his just to give him a soft little kiss.

Oh, and we thought Yunho was the one and only spiderboy but Seonghwa totally looks up at you with a blush coating his cheeks as he places a feather-light kiss on your lips.

I don’t know where else to put this but talking about kisses he totally has this fixation with your tattoos he will aimlessly trace them when he is sitting next to you and he will even kiss them. His favourite will definitely be the pawprints on your thigh.

He also has a habit of treating your dogs like his babies up until the moment that you have babies.

Another thing is that SEONGHWA IS PRACTICALLY MADE FOR BOOKSTORE OR BOBA DATES YOU CAN’T TELL ME OTHERWISE.

He also tends to giggle, like actually giggle whenever you call him “love”, “darling”, or “hun” even if you give that nickname to everyone you know.

Seonghwa loves you, that much is clear by how much of a damn baby he is around you, and he absolutely swoons whenever you present him with gifts or notes of encouragement but please be warned...

He will present you with even more elaborate gifts, and sometimes they are normal cute relationshippy things but other times they have this Seonghwa flare like him designing a custom you-seonghwa-and-your-dogs-in-a-cute-house lego set that you could build together all while he tells you that you’re way prettier in person.

All in all, there is something special about you, the way you look at him is enough to summon all the butterflies. Even if he holds back on the pda he will always say just how much he loves you, he will smother you with those three words. But it’s all in good faith. So many things have happened in his life but meeting you and having the privilege of falling in love with you is the greatest thing to have ever experienced in his life.

 Now, picture this, a bed full of plushies and in-between all of that is you and Seonghwa using your five blankets as a means of hiding away from the world. All the sounds around you are muffled and yes, it’s fall, the leaves have finally morphed into a flurry of browns and oranges.

Seonghwa’s slow breathing is irregular since he is humming some small song that has come straight from his heart. The lattes for two he made sit off to the side, widely neglected as you stare into each other’s eyes, he feels like he is living a dream, he wants you to pinch him so he could wake up and go about his days. But when you playfully poke his cheek, he finally realises that the sweetest thing in his life isn’t a dream, it isn’t a wish…

It’s true love.

#kpop matchups #kpop ships #overall ships #ateez #fall aesthetic #Halloween energy #cozy aesthetic

[lancerious]

For the character bingo thing, King, Queen and Lancer

All right, I'll just do these one at a time:

So first off...King. I'm going to keep this short because I could honestly go on a full rant about this...King is critically underrated and misunderstood by the MAJORITY of the Deltarune community, NOT all. I see a fair amount of folks actively dislike King or even outright despise him, which I don't really understand. King's not the best character morally, but he's not the worst character Toby Fox has created either. There's likely a lot more to him than we currently know. There's also a few people who misdraw King, such as presenting the blue part of his face as being a hood, suggesting the spade part of his face is mask of sorts, drawing King as if he has fur, etc. From what I can tell, this sort of thing isn't as extreme or common with King as it is with another certain character, but I'll get to him later. That explains most of the Bingo squares I put x's in. And the ships involving King don't...make sense. I'm not trying to condemn anyone who ships King with other characters, as it's a major part of the UT/DR community and there's no rule stopping anyone from doing so. But from a logical, game-presenting perspective, I see no ship that makes any sense at all. That, and I don't ship characters together, so I'm more inclined to reject shipping as a whole. This explains the last couple squares I filled in.

Boy, this is likely going to ignite some flames...I'm not a major fan of Queen. It's not that she's a bad character. I do find some aspects of Queen fairly unique and interesting, such as her dialogue and her protectiveness of Noelle. But I never felt interested in her. I never wanted to sit down and go into brainstorming mode regarding her. In my opinion, she's overrated and is in Chapter 2 too much. She also seemed a lot less...threatening as a villain. She never intimidated me at all, whereas King did. There's just wasted potential with her. Yeah, my opinions about Queen are likely very controversial compared to what others think. I don't have anything else to say about her, so...next!

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT WE HAVE A BINGO! Where to begin...Lancer is my all-time favorite Deltarune character, hands-down. I love every single thing about him. There is nothing wrong with him whatsoever. He has never done a single bad thing, ever. The one issue I have with him lies within the Deltarune community...again, not every single person does this, but like King, people often depict Lancer as...not being the character he actually is. Some misrepresent his appearance. Some examples would be the same examples I used for King. This...drives me bonkers. I can't stand it. And there are apparently some people who even ship Lancer with other characters...I LITERALLY did not know about this until a friend of mine told me. Just...why? Lancer's a CHILD...probably ten years old maximum. Shipping him with other characters is not right at all...and THEN there are some people who depict Lancer as being younger than he seems to be, like toddler age. I'm pretty sure Lancer's not a toddler...he displays awareness, intelligence, and emotions a toddler does not possess. Anyway, Lancer rules, best Deltarune character ever, the end. I'm highly considering writing a similar essay with Lancer like the one I did for King, because I could go on about this bouncy little pumpkin for ages. But I'll leave it here for now.

Keep in mind that this is all my opinion...you have every right to have a different opinion. That's part of why so many different types of characters exist in the Deltarune universe...there are characters who suit everyone.

Thanks for the suggestions, Anon! These were fun to do, and feel free to send in more :)!

#deltarune #king #king deltarune #queen #queen deltarune #lancer #lancer deltarune #character opinions #deltarune thoughts #character bingo #this is going to be very controversial amongst some of you #i stand by everything i said though

[purlturtle]

For that ask thingy... I have a feeling That WH13 might be right up your ally 😉 so let's do it

Goodness, do you? I wonder why! 😅

Let's go then! (questions from here, if you too wanna have a go)

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character: Myka Bering

Least Favorite character: of the core team: Artie. Of the whole series: Walter Sykes. Artie, because he keeps just too many secrets even when he is shown, again and again, that that is counterproductive. And yes, he's a bit older and set in his ways, and yes, those ways were helpful in his previous career, and yes, he was by himself for a long time but GEEZ, dude, ADAPT. Walter, because ugh slimy and manipulative and cruel and evil. And I know all of that was brough about by an artifact, and had that not happened to him he could have been a really nice guy, so I'm not fully blaming him for all of that; still: ugh. Hate 'im.

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): I only have one ship, and that is Bering and Wells. I know other people ship other ships, and I'm cool with that, but for me it's B&W only. I'm generally not a very shippy person; I like some pairings in some shows (canon or not I don't care), but when it comes to ships, as in I'm on this ship and sailing away with it and you're never gonna get me off of this ship etc etc, that is my OTP, Bering and Wells. No other couple in no other show has ever come anywhere near how I feel about them.

Character I find most attractive: Myka Bering, but only because I like curls a little better than straight hair. So lively! Helena Wells a very close second. And then Myka Bering with straight hair 😅

Character I would marry: Again, Myka Bering, with Helena Wells a very close second. Polygamy with the both of them? Sign me up!

Character I would be best friends with: toss-up between Myka and Pete?

a random thought: it's so sad this show never got a fifth season; it would have been so amazing, I'm sure.

An unpopular opinion: I fully understand and endorse Helena Wells' actions in Instinct. I can write an entire essay about why, if you're interested, but will keep it brief here for the sake of people's dashes: Helena had the right to establish and defend her own agency and choices, even if I as a shipper wasn't happy with them. The Regents stripped her agency from her not just once (Bronze) but twice (Janus Coin), and I fully approve of her stepping the hell away from all that and finding a way to be on her own.

My Canon OTP: Artie and Vanessa. They're cute, and I like seeing older people have happy, functional relationships - for a given value of "functional", given Artie's bumbling. But hey, he's trying!

My Non-canon OTP: Bering and Wells is canon to me, but I do acknowledge that it was never actually stated in words, out loud, on screen.

Most Badass Character: Myka Ophelia Bering. Gets to be the brain AND the brawn, has a healthy dose of self-confidence, not just awkwardness and daddy issues.

Most Epic Villain: Paracelsus. Gotta admire the heights he aspired to and the lengths he went to. Also, Anthony Head chewing scenery will never not be epic.

Pairing I am not a fan of: some people apparently ship Pete and Myka? *shudders* They have so much sibling energy, I can't see it. Ship and let ship, obviously, but I don't see it, myself.

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): Leena deserved so much better. So so so much better. (if I should ever acknowledge the existence of S5, Myka as well, but I don't, so Leena it is.)

Favourite Friendship: Pete and Myka. I love how supportive he is, how they both take no shit from each other, how they have each other's backs. Close second, Myka's big sister/mentoring friendship with Claudia, as seen most wonderfully in For The Team.

Character I most identify with: Myka, to a ridiculous degree.

Character I wish I could be: I'm gonna go a bit left field here and say, I wanna be a therapist/debriefing specialist for the entire team, the way they brought in Abigail (and barely did anything with) in S4. These people need someone to look after their mental health, and there is more than enough shit to go 'round to keep Abigail and me busy for the rest of our lives.

Thanks for the ask! I had a lot of fun with this!

#ask meme #ask me

[nocturnal-phantoms-fandoms]

No no wait, delete my previous ask 😄 You've already answered

BDK

Hi!! :D

Thank you for the ask!!!

B - A pairing–platonic, romantic or sexual–that you initially didn’t consider, but someone changed your mind.

well if we arent strict on the someone part (one person i could pinpoint) changing my mind - ill say wolfstar. i wasnt shipping them initially when i first entered the fandom (tho it wasnt the english speaking fandom on tumblr or ff.net) and now its my whole personality. i had no idea it exists, or that its even a possibility to ship 2 men together (I was 12 with no critical thinking skills. i knew gay ppl exist but i didnt know its something that can exist in fiction too i guess?) and all the fics there were included sirius x marlene or sirius x dorcas. and one day i completely randomly stumbled upon this ship. and now, after all this time, im here.

aside from that - probably most ships that im into now that arent wolfstar - wolfstarbucks, wolfbucks, prongsfoot, lilypad and jilypad. I cant pinpoint who exactly introduced me to which ship tho - I just know that people in the fandom that I follow talk about those ships and i was like, i see the vision. similar thing in the case of non-marauders ships like Cedric, Fleur/Bill/Tonks or Fleur/Tonks - but here its more like, i dont really care about anyone thats not S or R and thats why i didnt consider any of those ships initially (but I've always liked Tonks).

idk if that counts but somebody (i wont say who. but in this case i can tell who that was) said they canNOT see remus x lily (or they could but it would be disaster for everyone) and that made me realise I could get into that ship too. so ill put it on the list <3

D - A pairing you wish you liked but just can’t.

I mentioned a couple times I ship prongsfoot, but what I meant is I see why people ship them, and I ship them when in polyships I mentioned, and I do consider Sirius being in love with James (so, unrequired prongsfoot) in most concepts/storylines - but i wish I could get fully into the actual ship bc i feel like this part of the fandom writes them more in characters, and is generally a nice place to be. But I also saw some ppl talk about prongsfoot and james cheating on lily or sth and i know i wont get into that (cheating just squicks me out i guess?)

(this kinda goes for most of my ships that arent my OTP, I think? I like them, but im not into them enought to consider them my OTPs and sometimes I wish I did)

Also femslash ships. I wish I was more into them, and I dont want to excuse or justify why i dont like many femslash ships (there is so much discourse in many fandoms about it and i really dont want to do that). Im just not into them that much - i like them, but i dont read or write just about them, and I wish I did (maybe I will someday). In the case of the marauders fandom - Im not into dorlene or marylily bc those characters (sans Lily) are basically fandom's OCs (and I love that the fandom looked at those characters that were mentioned once in the books and made them quite interesting too. but I dont really care about them bc they are neither S or R and also there is no canon of them for me to fall back to)

K - What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Why are you making me think critically about my blorbos on saturday afternoon </3

I cant pick a fav but im also not going to write an essay on each one

When I did a presentation about my fav ships I mentioned that I loved Steve Roger's arc in his first movie bc he went from "I dont want to kill anyone. I want to fight nazis bc I dont like bullies - I dont care where they come from" to "I'm not going to stop till all of Hydra is dead or captured" after he lost Bucky </3 (but thats just the first movie. and i still pretend endgame didnt happen. so) (also ive read metas that steve's arc was tied to saving/loosing bucky, and i love that from the shipping perspective)

Everyone in the Stranger Things fandom loves Steve Harrington's arc - he went from a background asshole jock to a heroic babysitter working minimum wage whose best friend is a lesbian - and now that he's a fan's favourite he's also most likely to die in the last season

I also read some posts/metas about Remus's arc and his nonlinear healing and learning to take on responsibility and I dont like most elements that his arc consists off but I do find it very interesting.

ask game

#ask game #thanks again!! #i feel like there is something i left out but this post is already so long 😅

[michaels-office-hours]

Family talks about Christianity sometimes, and I’m actually a pretty new one myself… so if that makes you uncomfortable? Feel free to keep scrolling/unfollow/block. I don’t mind.

But anyway, they talk about it sometimes… and I can’t- really tell them I’m here? This is Mike talking btw. They think OSDD is kinda silly or something to get rid of or idk… but yeah. I have to mask as Jewels at home, I’m pretty good at it? But that’s why I like this blog. Let’s me be myself. But anyway, I’d actually kinda like to- talk about it? Since Jewels has grown up as Christian, and Olivia was pretty young when she split off… so she’s also pretty used to it. And is more into it than Jewels so skhvsjhvsjh. But yeah. I’m new to this? Would like pointers maybe? But that’d out me… in seconds. Would rather not.

Anyway, talking about C.S. Lewis’s “The Problem With X” essay thingy. Idk what it’s called. And yeah there’s a link there in case you’re interested, to the video we watched. C.S. Lewis is one of my favorite authors, he goes deep. Plus he wrote the Screw Tape Letters, and that book is amazing. Freaky, but amazing.

I keep getting sidetracked, ahem. In that video they talk about there’s probably people in your life you have issue with. X Lewis labeled them. You know who they are, annoying parents, nagging grandparents, a neighbor whose too nosy or loud, a sibling whose just rude? Everyone has an X. I’d be surprised if you didn’t.

But the main kicker in the video, was that you’re an X too. To God? Everyone is. He sees them all, and He has a plan. Do we follow that plan? No. Does He stop us? No. Because He wants us to love Him by our own will. He wants it to be real, like His love for us is.

So if God has to deal with all these X’s, but doesn’t change them, what are we to do with them? The same, we can do nothing. Think about it, you can raise hell fire and go up against X. But think about X for a minute, X is a brick wall, aren’t they? You’ve probably had it out with them in the past. All that did was make everyone mad, and your life miserable.

So what we do, is focus on the X we can control. Ourselves. Better ourselves (with God’s help usually, but I do understand if others are reading this. Just try to make a better you, whatever that is) and maybe by example, X will stop being so bad.

Now… here comes my part in this. Jewels bent over backwards, and jumped through hoops. She tried her damnedest to be the best she could for her X’s. Guess why I’m here. Now, guess why I’m typing this? X is still there. Just as stoic in their harshness as ever, maybe worse! And what does she have to show? A hero complex and an inability to see where to draw the line between her own needs, and the wants of those around her. I have that too unfortunately… since I came from that situation.

But that isn’t what C.S. Lewis was suggesting at all. Not at all. And in fact, this is the reason I consider myself a new Christian, because before I didn’t see myself as “good enough” before. Yes, you’re supposed to live an example and try to better yourself. Yes, you can try to fight X, but we all know the kind of X I talking about, there’s no talking to them. So I doubt it will work. But what God doesn’t want you to do, is to change because of X. Don’t make you’re whole personality, trying to please them, or be the best person they want. You’ll never make it.

God wants you to be His child. And guess what? He loves you right now. I don’t give a damn about what X is telling you. “Oh you didn’t take out the garage, you’re horrible” “I’m not being that loud, you’re just rude” “you never spend time with me, you must hate this family” wrong wrong wrong. If X can’t see it? On them. Keep trying to be a good example. But I beg you, know that God loves you now. Right now. For existing. For breathing. He’d love it if you’d try to be a better person! And He’s very proud when you do try. Even when you fail, you tried. And btw? For non-Christians reading this? If you don’t believe in God, or we don’t share one, or whatever the circumstances? I’m proud of you. M’kay? You’re trying. Good on you for that. You’re trying, and still existing in a world of X’s. And man alive I know how hard that is, but you’re doing it. And thank you. Genuinely thank you.

Please, if you’re can. If you didn’t read any of this? Just try to not put too much of a burden on others. Because they’re trying more than you’d think. And know that, while you try? There’s always someone out there loving you for it. You’re an amazing example, and role model, and person in general. And thank you. You can do this. Whoever is in your way? I hope they’ll see the truth soon.

I’m gonna go do something else now. White screen is making the migraine I had before this start to scream skhvsjhvsjg. Good luck guys. You got this. 🫰🏻

#🔥 #christianity #animatronic vent alert

[pranpat]

thinking about how pat is genuinely such a good written character. like despite their supposed rivalry, he cut up his student card and just gave it to pran without a second thought because pran was hurting his fingers and then he keeps the guitar safe for pran because even though he doesn’t know if he’ll ever be able to give it back to him, he keeps it because he knows how much pran likes to play and just how much it really means to him. and even though the whole bus station thing wasn’t even his fault, he saw how stressed pran was over it and he wanted to help, and make things better for him. pran doesn’t ask him but he still deletes that video, and then he not only finds the solution for pran but he also goes there as moral support (because he probably knew how nervous pran was and pran would never ask anyone for help), but also helps him actually land the whole thing because he knows how important it is for pran. even though their families have been taking jabs at each other since before they were born, he still gets hurt when his father insults prans family and he knows pran must’ve been hurt overhearing that so he tries to explain but what can he even say? not only that, but he also figures out a way to make sure that once pran had the guitar back, he’d actually have the chance to play it so he practically begs the teacher to let them perform. when he realizes that Pran hurt his shoulder, he tells his friends he’ll cover him and then when he gets hurt on the field, he doesn’t even think twice about running to him, checking to see if it’s alright despite both their friends his friends, and everyone else is watching, he still wants to make sure hes okay. once he figures out his feelings, it’s basically all he can think about but he tries to make sure that they’re actually genuine. like he goes through the whole thing, seeing if what he’s feeling is actually real and once he realizes that, oh yeah, I’m actually in love with pran, he doesn’t shy away from it. and once he comes to that realization, he goes after him and even though he’s stupid drunk, he still remembers to bring the spread that he’d ended up finishing that last time he was over. he feels guilty and just heartbroken when pran leaves him on the floor but instead of wallowing and just forgetting it ever happened, he sobers himself up and goes looking for him. because he needs to set things straight. after the kiss, even though he’s just gotten his heartbroken, he still goes after pran to talk to him, to get him to tell him what’s wrong. he goes to his houses and doesn’t even care that he’ll have to go through his mom, all he’s probably thinking is pranpranpranpran. when that doesn’t work, he goes on that trip with his friends and despite knowing they all hate him, he acts like everything’s fine bc he just wants pran to talk to him. so he’s constantly putting himself through his friends just so he can get a few minutes with pran, like he was ready to fight everyone for him . don’t get me started on the whole beach scene and how he wants to talk about the night on the rooftop so badly but the minute pran says he doesn’t want to talk about it, he respects it, he listens to him and changes the topic. he apologizes for being the reason that pran was sent away even though it was neither of their faults because he doesn’t want pran to hate him. and then he that kiss is still at the back of his mind and he doesn’t talk about it, just writes it on the sand and even though he knows pran is lying, that it doesn’t just mean “nothing” he doesn’t push him. instead he talks about ink, that he doesn’t like her bc he probably knows it’s bothering pran even if he won’t admit it. and even though he’s soso sure of his feelings, he still places that bet bc he knows its where they’re both comfortable so he doesn’t confess, instead he takes cues from pran, never pushing him and learning to love him in a way that wouldn’t scare pran. anyway, pat is one of the best characters. that’s all.

#this wasn’t supposed to get this long gjskjfjdjd the fact that I had to cut it short bc I reached the capacity anyway :)))) pat my love #you’re so kind and smart and i can’t wait for you to have everything in this world #ugh I could literally write soso much on Pran too like they’re both so different yet so so similar #and it’s all I can think about #me: its not that deep #hes just a fictional character #also me: actually heres a whole essay on why hes the best person to exist on this earth :) #bad buddy #this is so embarassing i sorry im feeling sl ot and im suffering post ep

[miekasa]

break up with your boyfriend, i’m bored

+ pairings: um… armin x reader…. but, spotlight on jean—just... read it to understand, please

+ genres and warnings: college au what’s new, fluff… you’re just going to have to work with me and trust me on this one alright

+ notes: free colt he ain’t do nothing wrong i just needed someone outside of their immediate friend group to blame i am so sorry justice for my boy colt and falco too

+ more notes: longer levi fic still in progress, so have jean thee comedian in the meantime

“I think I have a crush on someone.”

Jean crosses his arms and makes it a point to huff even louder than before so that you can accurately assess his annoyance at moment; going so far as to slump back into your not so comfortable couch to really sell it.

“And that is why you manhandled me all the way to your apartment on a Tuesday afternoon?” he asks, voice flat and eyes hooded.

You groan and roll your eyes. Jean’s eyebrows are pinched together with more judgement than confusion at your current state of distress when you sit next to him on the sofa, a knee bent in his direction.

“Jeanie, I don’t think you’re understanding the severity of my issue.”

“You’re right, I’m not,” he drawls, “But, please, do enlighten me. It’s not like I have an essay to write or anything.”

“I have a crush,” you reiterate, hands mapping out every syllable in your sentence, “On someone who is not my boyfriend.”

“I see,” he nods, but his voice remains flat, “And, pray tell, what exactly is my role in all of this?”

“You’re supposed to use your philosophical psychoanalytical bullshit to tell me what’s wrong with me and how to fix it.”

“Philosophy and psychology are two different disciplines.”

“They sound the same to me.”

“That’s because you’re a single-celled chem major.”

“I think it takes more than a single cell to study chem.”

“Oh, is that what they tell you guys, now?”

“You’re not fucking helping.”

“Yes, I am,” he tuts, “It’s called talk therapy.”

“It sounds like you’re just taking shots at me.”

“Best friend talk therapy allows for a few digs here and there.”

“Jean,” you pinch his arm. He flinches, and yelps loudly, immediately raising the affected arm to counter with a flick to the center of your forehead. You glare, the palm of your left hand covering the sting on your skin, but concede, “Well played.”

“Thank you,” he nods, “I learned from the best.”

“Okay, now that you’ve gotten your ego boost for the day, can we worry about my problem, please.”

He shrugs, crossing resting his left ankle atop his right knee, “Sure.”

“Thank you.”

“What exactly is the problem, again?”

You sigh, and lean your head on Jean’s shoulder, “I have a boyfriend—”

“We’ve been over that.”

“—and the person I have a crush on is not my boyfriend.”

“Okay,” he pauses, “Are you going to do anything about this crush?”

“Well, I… no,” you ponder, “I don’t think so.”

“Okay,” he repeats, “So, then why are you so worked up about it?”

“Because!... Because… I don’t know, it’s… wrong? I’m in a relationship with someone else—isn’t this, like, emotional cheating?”

“Maybe,” he says, “I don’t know a whole lot about relationship psychology.”

“Come on, Jean.”

He sighs, “I’m serious, I don’t know, (_____).”

You whine, sounds muffled by the fabric of Jean’s sweater where your cheek lay pressed against his shoulder. “I’m a horrible person, aren’t I?”

“You’re not, stop it,” Jean answers firmly, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, “You’re not horrible for having emotions that are difficult to work through.”

“Okay, then, I’m just a horrible girlfriend.”

“Maybe.”

“Jean.”

“Sorry,” he winces, patting your head for extra encouragement. It’s meant to be comforting, but it makes you feel like a patronized six-year-old, at best. It’s quiet for a while, with you mulling over Jean’s words, and him trying to pull you into the worst side hug in all of existence.

“Do you think,” you break the silence, “Maybe I should I break up with him?”

“Yes,” his answer comes too quickly, and much too enthusiastically.

You lift your head from his shoulder, unamused, but Jean doesn’t even try to hide the glimmer of hope in his eyes.

“You’re just saying that because you don’t like him.”

“No,” he pauses when he catches glimpse of the disbelief on your face, “Okay, yes, I don’t like him. At all.”

“Jean—”

“But maybe this is your subconscious telling you that you don’t like him either, and that you should, instead, go after your crush.”

“Oh, so now you want to use your psychobullshit on me?”

“If it means I don’t have to pretend to like Colt anymore, then yes,” he replies, a stupid, shit-eating grin on his lips.

You scoff, arms crossed against your chest, “You don’t even pretend to like him now.”

Jean shrugs, “I pretend to like him to his face.”

“No, you don’t,” you insist, “You’re probably the worst at it, in fact.”

“I’m not worse than Connie.”

“You called him an asshole. To his face.”

“Connie poured tequila on him.”

“Connie was drunk. You were completely sober.”

“Connie would have done it sober and you know it.”

You open your mouth to refuse, but the words fall silent in your throat. Connie probably would have done it sober. “Okay, fine, whatever, you don’t like him,” you wave away the subject, “Do you really think this crush is my subconscious telling me to break up with him, though? I mean—it’s just, crushes are kind of fleeting right?”

“Sure, but—”

“What if I break up with him, and then I get over my crush, and realize I made a mistake.”

“Then you learn and grow, and find a new crush.”

“I’m being serious.”

“So am I,” he insists, “You’re beating yourself up pretty bad over this mystery guy—”

“—It could be a girl.”

“Is it a girl? Oh, is it Mikasa? Are you still hung up over her—you know I’m sure she’d make out with you asked. I think you both could relieve a lot of tension that way, actually.”

“You’re the worst person to walk this planet, you know that?” you sneer, annoyed by the smug grin on Jean’s face. So what if you had a tiny crush on Mikasa? Most people did, Jean included.

“Look,” Jean continues, “You and I both know you’re not a cheater, but you and I also know you’re just like Eren when it comes to things like this.”

“Just like Eren?”

“Falls too fast, too hard,” he clarifies, “I get the feeling you’ve had these feelings for a while, and that they’re not fleeting.”

You pout, and Jean knows that he’s right. “Okay, so say I do break up with Colt—”

“Which you should do, regardless.”

“—If we break up, then what? I still won’t know what to do with my left over grief. It’s not like I can just... go ask this guy out right away.”

“Yes, you can,” Jean presses, “In fact, you should.”

“No, I can’t,” you insist.

“Why not?”

“Well for one, I’ll look like a heartless whore.”

“You’re not a heartless whore for asking a guy out.”

“I am if I do it right after breaking up with my boyfriend.”

“Your internalized misogyny is showing,” he sing-songs, “Come on, you’re not a whore for doing what you want with a guy, you know that.”

“Okay, fine, not a whore, whatever,” you roll your eyes, “But I still couldn’t ask him out.”

“It’s the twenty first century, just because you’re a girl doesn’t mean you can’t ask him—”

“Not because of that, dumb goose,” you glare, “I meant because—it’s, well, it’d be really sudden and kind of… awkward?”

“It’s not like he’d know you just broke up with someone, unless that’s one of your conversation starters.”

You sigh, a hand on your forehead. “Yes, he would, Jean.”

“How could he possibly—oh.”

“Yeah, oh,” you mock, a heavy sigh leaving your chest as you resume your previous sulking position, head leaning against his shoulder with your right cheek squished against his sweater.

“(_____), I’m honored, but you’re not really my type. I’d be willing to help you get over him though.”

“It’s not you, you fucking long-necked pigeon, it’s Arm—,” you cut yourself short, hands clamped over your own mouth.

“Oh my god!” Jean all but screams, propelling his body away from you with just enough distance to extend his arm, finger pointing directly at your chest, “You like Armin!”

“Shut up!”

“You have a crush on Armin!”

“Shut up, Jean!”

“You have a big, fat crush on Armin!”

“Shut up! I said shut up, you pasty fucking giraffe looking ass bitch!”

“Oh my—okay, you have to break up with Colt, immediately,” Jean rushes, “I can’t believe this—if you think Armin wouldn’t go out with you, then you really do have the intelligence of a single celled organism.”

“What in the ever loving fuck are you talking about.”

“We’re talking about the same Armin, right? Armin Arlert, about this tall,” Jean raises his hand significantly lower than Armin’s actual height, “Studies astrophysics, follows you around like a lap dog—”

“He does not,” you scoff.

Jean guffaws, “Didn’t he take you on a tour of, like… the NASA museum for your birthday? With the super high-tech planetarium that people die to get into?”  

“Actually, it was their headquarters, but it’s only because he gets special privileges for being an intern.”

“Didn’t he name a star after you?”

“Anyone can name a star after anyone,” you roll your eyes, “It’s really not that hard.”

“People do not fucking go to NASA and ask for stars for just anyone!” Jean screeches, hands flailing wildly.

“Armin does!”

“Yeah, for you!” Jean emphasizes, “Come on, do you think if anybody else called him right now and asked him to get a star in their name, or even just fucking take them to headquarters of the most renowned space organization in the country, that he would actually do it?”

“I mean, maybe, if like… Eren asked.”

Jean opens his mouth to refute, but freezes half way with a head-tilt and pursed lips. “Okay, yeah, maybe—whatever, doesn’t matter. What matters is that you need to tell him.”

“I don’t need to tell him shit.”

“You’re seriously choosing Colt over Armin? Who willingly stays with some greasy prick with the world’s most annoying younger brother, over a handsome, straight-A astrophysics student with a penchant for marine biology, and, like, really clear skin.”

“Oh, wow. I didn’t know Bertholdt was studying astro.”

“I wasn’t talking about Bertholdt.”

“It sounded like you were talking about Bertholdt.”

“I mean, Bertholdt’s got great skin, but it’s no where near as clear as Armin’s. He glows.”

It’s quiet again, as you eye Jean with a raised brow that’s all too familiar. “Are we sure that you’re not the one with the crush on Armin?”

“Shut up, you’re avoiding the point.”

“What’s the point, exactly?”

“That you’re in love with Armin, who is miles better than your current boy toy, so you should ask him out immediately.”

“I have a boyfriend, not a boy toy.”

“Ah ha!” he yells, “You didn’t deny that you’re in love with him—oh my god, you’re in love with Armin!”

He’s standing now, practically bouncing off the the walls at the revelation. You take to smacking him with the nearest pillow. “I’m not in love with him! I just—just really like him, okay!”

“Very convincing.”

“Shut the hell up, you’ve been pining after you know who for seven eons at this point.”

“You bitch,” he growls, “We’re not supposed to bring him up.”

“Well, you keep bringing up Armin!”

“We never established that Armin was on the list of he’s who shall not be named.”

“Well I vote that he should be.”

“Your vote has been vetoed,” he grins, “Look, I’m completely serious when I say that Armin is just as in love with you as you deny you are with him.”

“That sentence hurt my head,” you pout, resuming your signature brooding position.

“It’s okay, your single brain cell has been through a lot in the past fifteen minutes,” he pats your head again, earning him a glare that he simply chuckles at, “All it means is that you love Armin, and I assure you that he’s equally, if not more, in love with you.”

“You really think so?”

“I know so. Now, up, up, up,” he tuts, pulling at your biceps until you’re standing, only to immediately start ushering you to the door, “You have a shitty boyfriend to go break up with.”

“What—Jean, come on, I didn’t mean right now!” you exclaim; but he’s stronger than he looks, and continues to propel your body out of the open door.

“No time to waste!” he insists, “Every hour you stay with Colt you lose another brain cell.”

“I thought I only had one to begin with,” you say, sarcasm evident in your tone.

It makes Jean’s grin triple, “Exactly, so go, not another hour to waste!”

“Jean, wait, I—,” you begin, only to be silenced by the silver door shutting in your face. The lock clicks soon after, and it’s only then you realized what he’s done.

“You knobby kneed bitch, this is my apartment!”

#aot x reader #snk x reader #jean x reader #jean kirstein x reader #armin x reader #armin arlet x reader #jean smut #eren smut #armin smut #eren x reader #aot imagines #snk imagines

[achillieus]

let you down. (sebastian stan x reader)

summary: it's a universal truth but it's worth repeating; feelings eat us raw. or just an actor and a girl falling in and out of love over the course of three months.

(this was inspired by sebastian's visit to greece for his movie, monday, and is based on that, so that means in the story we’re in 2018. also i have this posted on ao3 too but while i’m writing the last parts i thought of posting it here too)

pairing: sebastian stan x reader

warnings: alcohol, sexual references, implied depression, don’t kill me because of the ending, sebastian and reader are the definition of right person wrong time, it's kinda slowburn because i love the yearning, also this part has some funny moments but overall it’s a big SOB

part: 6/6 (there will also be an epilogue)

(other parts)   (masterlist)

This is how it ends: broken hearts from crashed dreams.

Sebastian holds you until his muscles ache and your lungs burn from the feeling of too little oxygen. It is cold and dark, almost midnight, too dark, a starless night.

No more stars for you and I.

“Here,” Voice hoarse, eyes heavy-lid and itching from almost crying. He gives you one of the rings he wore in the movie. “I want you to keep this.”

Keep it close to your heart. Forget me not.

He takes a breath and a step back, tries to regain all the strength he still has, steady feet and shoulders fixed. He digs his nails into his palms, red marks in his skin, air catching in his throat, he’s on the verge of falling but he stays standing.

He remembers tears glistening down his cheeks, maybe they were yours not his, and the cold autumn wind hitting his face and he remembers feeling like he’s dying.

And then he closes the door of Argyris’ car and looks at you.

And his heart stretches and stretches and stretches and then somehow splits in half.

/

It goes like this:

There’s a ghost that lives in your apartment from now on. In the living room. Sitting on the couch. And it has steel blue eyes and a familiar heart. And it whispers a love story, half-finished, and you cannot make it stop.

The ghost touches your collarbone and he’s gone but there’s a ring in a golden chain around your neck and a white shirt forgotten in your laundry. And it smells like him. The clinging scent of his aftershave sticking to your pores. Eucalyptus. And no matter how hard you try to wash it off, it still lingers.

How could I ever forget someone like you?

The ghost lives here, but the place is empty, so empty. And it’s hard not to cry.

/

Sebastian calls and texts a lot.

He tells you he’s tired but excited because he started filming a new movie. It’s very indie and experimental, I can’t wait for you to see it. He tells you he’s missing his days in Greece like hell and that one night he dreamt of you. Didn’t want to wake up. What he doesn’t tell you is that he’s coming back in a month, Argyris needs him for some extra scenes. It’s nearly killing him but he doesn’t tell you. He wants to surprise you, see the pure light in your eyes when they’ll meet his.

/

You try sexting. It doesn’t go very well.

23:50, sebastian: if you were here in my bed right now what would you be doing

06:51, you: probably falling asleep hahaha

06:51, you: oh fuck was i supposed to sext back

06:51, you: sorry seb i just woke up and i have a class in an hour, love you <3

23:52, sebastian: fuck timezones

/

(three weeks and 10 seconds later)

“I can’t believe she doesn’t know you’re here,” Argyris shakes his head as he’s driving home from the airport, “If I were her, I’d kill you.”

“Good thing I didn’t fall in love with you.”

Sebastian laughs and looks out of the car window. The stars. There are so many stars tonight. He holds his breath; he’s finally feeling whole again. His heart isn’t split in two anymore.

/

You don’t know how long you stand there at your door, staring at him, but it feels like a century before he grins, almost laughs, takes your hands in his and you start considering that perhaps this isn’t a hallucination. Perhaps it’s real.

“Surprise?”

Something inside of you bursts, your organs twitch. You can’t think, you can’t speak, but you can move. You don’t lose any more time, you take a step forward, attach your bodies, your face buried in his neck, your fingers clutching into the rough fabric of his jacket. You breathe him in like an antidote.

“How?”

“Does it matter?”

“No.”

You kiss him and it’s like poetry, like art, like honey and you can’t separate yourself from him, not even hours later.

/

(looking back, these were the golden days)

You pretending to be mad at him for not telling you he was coming back and him pressing his lips on your skin, drawing patterns on your naked shoulder. A feathery touch.

Sebastian always touches you like you’re something made of gold and porcelain, something cherished that constantly needs to be treasured. And nobody has done that before. And you love him for it.

You try to decorate your Christmas tree together. He messes with the lights for a while, eventually gives up and goes on to eat too many reindeer shaped cookies.

He massages your muscles when you write a boring essay for college.

You go with him when he has to shoot a “driving a motorcycle naked in the centre of Athens” scene and you bite the inside of your cheeks to stop smiling like an idiot.

He gives you a dress he bought for you in New York.  

“You didn’t have to.”

“I know, but I wanted to.”

He calls you sweetheart in the mornings, still half asleep and later joins you in the shower.

“Why are you so hot?”

“Climate change”

“Oh, shut up”

It’s tender and it’s soft and it’s human.

And that’s the saddest part.

/

Soon you realize that him leaving two months ago was merely a rehearsal and you still haven’t said your actual goodbyes. Your chest starts to feel as if it’s full of crushed glass.

And it’s ridiculous because you fell in love with Sebastian sometime between the first ten days you spent together.

Who falls in love in ten days?  

Ridiculous or not, you know you are in love with him just as you know that sooner or later, whatever he is feeling will fade and wither. Maybe it’ll be in a week, maybe it’ll be in a month, maybe in a year if you’re lucky. But there will definitely come a day when he will step out of a gala or a party or a fancy gym in New York with a beautiful model in his arms and two paparazzi’s following him around.

What will you be then?

A past small cameo in his life. A side character. Will he remember your name?

He is your whole world.

(a bottle of cheap prosecco helps you decide that)

He is your whole world.

And yet, there will come a day when he won’t even remember your name.

/

It was difficult. No, it was the most difficult thing you’ve ever done. Telling him how you think it’d be better if you didn’t talk after he leaves.

“I don’t agree with this.”

“Seb, it’s for the best.”

Your body doesn’t feel strong enough to carry your heart. And you’re certain it will only get worse once he’s away. The world around you will melt. You’ll obsess over a phone screen and his messages. You’ll start chasing ghosts again. You can’t handle that.

“Why?” He says urgently and his fingers dance over the flesh of your palms.

“Because this”, you motion your hand between the two of you, “is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever had in my life and I don’t want it to become ugly.”

He nods, he understands.

“I love you, you know,” he says smiling and tugs you closer to him, “And I may not be here to show you but I think I’ll love you for a long time.”

Your hand grips his waist right to the bones and something flares in your eyes, something wild that wrenches you around.

“I know, I’ll love you the same.”

“Maybe we’ll meet again.”

“Only if I’m the luckiest girl on the planet.”

He laughs and you look at him, fully aware he’ll be ripped out of your life like a page from a cheap leather notebook. And when you kiss for the last time, there’s a hole forming in your soul.

And just because endings don’t leave visible scars to one’s body and soul, that doesn’t mean the scars don’t exist. You know they do, because you feel the aching pain of every single one of them.

/

(every night when you close your eyes you see him)

(every night you look at the stars and think of him)

/

A month passes and Argyris asks you if you miss him.

“I don’t think I’ll ever stop.”

“He said the exact same thing.”

You tell him not to mention Sebastian again.

Two months pass and you need to stop stalking his instagram profile.

Three months pass and you almost text him.

Four months pass and you go to watch Endgame with some friends and you cry. You cry when Black Widow sacrifices herself and when Iron Man smiles at his wife while dying, and when Bucky Barnes appears on screen.

The others don’t understand and you don’t blame them.

Five months pass and Argyris’ girlfriend wants you to meet someone. A charming boy your age with blonde hair and a lip piercing.

And he's cute but you compare him to Sebastian even before he has the chance to say his name. His eyes are not the right shade of blue and he doesn’t look at you like you’re made of the world’s finest jewel.

And he doesn’t know any constellation names.

And then more than a year passes in a second and you learn to not look for him. Not anymore.

/

It’s early March 2020 and despite the rising fear of the upcoming pandemic, you’re doing well. Scars are starting to fade. And after spending two weeks in Prague, your best friend being there with an exchange program, Sebastian Stan is the farthest thing from your mind.

Until he literally comes crashing into you. At the airport.

No, it can’t be him.

You have your suitcase on one hand and a bottle of antiseptic gel on the other. He has two bodyguards on his sides and a black hoodie on.  And while half of his face is hidden behind a mask, you can see his eyes perfectly. A frozen lake in December. You would know those eyes in your deathbed, at the end of the world.

Your vision gets blurry and suddenly you feel cold.

He won’t recognize me, he can’t.

But then he looks at you and every memory you had buried inside of you resurfaces.

He motions to his guards to wait for him and he starts walking towards you. You breathe slowly, one breath at a time. He takes his mask off and you hesitate to take yours, not sure if you truly want him to see you.

You exchange the typical and very awkward hi, how are you, i’m glad you’re doing okay and then he smiles and it feels comfortable. Familiar.

It’s the whiff of another time that you always kept around. A reminder that you were once loved by a god.

“What are you doing here?”

“Filming Falcon and the Winter Soldier”

If you hadn’t unfollowed him on instagram, you’d known.

“Ah yes I heard about that, congrats.”

He nods a thank you.

“And you? In Prague?”

“I was at a friend.”

He looks conflicted, hurt, turns his gaze to his shoes on the grey cement. You want to say something, but you feel like throwing up.

And then he laughs.

“I was right.”

You’re confused, he notices.

“Back in Greece,” he swallows, “I told you this would happen.”

“It would have been an airport, different gates for each of us, but same waiting hall. Or a Greek island, where we’d both be for the summer.”

“I would have found you.”

You remember and you cannot help but smile. He was right. He found you.

“I didn’t believe you then.”

I barely believe you now.

He touches your hair. And his touch is like a knife. And you want to cry. Magnolias under your tongue. A love long lost is whispering in your ears until it hurts to listen. He’s like a magnetic field and you feel yourself drowning in him.

“I bet they’ll ask me a hundred questions about you later.” He says and looks at the two men waiting for him.

“And what will you tell them?”

“That you’re most probably the love of my life.”

Don’t cry, don’t cry.

“There’s no way we’d meet here if you’re not.”

“Sebastian,” His name sounds like a prayer coming out of your lips and you're ready to tell him you love him and you can swear he looks like he’s ready to faint, “I-”

The guards yell his name. And it's the same feeling people have just before a car crash.

“I’m sorry, I have to go.”

One last look.

Don’t cry, don’t cry.

You repeat it over and over again. But you fail.

“No, don't cry” He smiles, one last smile, “Just look at the stars and wait for us to meet again, because we will.”

He caresses the back of your palm for a second and you think your ribcage is shattering but it’s only your heart drumming frantically. Pushing your fragile bones to break. 

You want to stop him, wrap your arms around his torso, never let him go. Not again. But you don’t.

You just watch him leave, one more time, your knees weak, your head heavy and dizzy. For the split of a moment he turns and glances at you but then he’s nowhere to be seen.

Perhaps it was all in your imagination. Perhaps it was nothing but a wonder.

You get into your plane and you silently sob.

/

And then it’s summer.

And you overhear he was seen with a girl, the day before your vacation starts and you find a picture of them together a week later, a pretty blonde girl clinging to his side with a colorful bikini somewhere in Spain. And he’s smiling. And you feel so ashamed. And so stupid.

They say time heals all wounds but they must be wrong because you can’t forget how he used to smile at you or how he used to call you the love of his life.

Was he joking when he said you'll meet again? You bet if you asked him now, he wouldn't even remember saying it.

I’ll love you for a long time.

So long for nothing.

/

i really appreciate feedback, it motivates me tons and also tell me if you’d like to be tagged :) also i’m really sorry if you asked me to tag you and i didn’t  but i lost a lot of asks and the urls of the people that sent them :( 

tagging: @lharrietg @awkward117 @dannaloureen @broccoligf @cutestfangirlvevo @caitdaniels @arymb @buckybarnesishot310 @roguesthetic @itsaliceheree @sara-1705 @dorothea-hwldr @freshfreakoaftrash @drinkfantasy @christinamcdonnell ​@partypoison00 ​ @90ssantiago

#sebastianstan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine #letyoudown #monday the movie #sebastian stan angst #sebastian stan x you #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader

[not-enough-teeth-and-treasures]

An Autistic’s Perspective on Tears of Themis’ Representation (spoiler alert: it’s bad)

Before you read, I should warn you that there will be spoilers for Chapter Five! Read at your own risk. Also, trigger warning for discussions of ableism and harmful disablility stereotypes. I get pretty heated as well, so if you’re not a fan of swearing and stuff, then it might be best to skip this.

So, I was debating whether or not I wanted to talk about this, mostly because this game doesn’t do anything new in regards to the perception of autism in media. Unfortunately, it ends up leaning into a lot of not great tropes and goes into “what the fuck that’s incredibly offensive territory” waaay to quickly. So here I am.

The most prevelant character with autism (or who we start out thinking has autism. Don’t worry, I’ll get to that) is a small, supergenius child (a boy as well *sigh*) is so overdone at this point that there aren’t many new criticisms I can say. The stereotype of autism presented in media is overwhelmingly extremely intelligent (usually with sciency or math based interests) men with no ability to socialize or be kind to others. This not only paints autism as a disability that effects men primarily (which creates intense stigma around AFAB autistic people and makes it harder for us to get diagnosed or believed), but also creates this expectation of greatness. Autistic people are often held to superhuman standards, which further others and dehumanizes us in the eyes of allistic people. The vast majority of autistic people are not savants, and that it perfectly fine.

But all of this is pretty standard. The red flags started popping up when it was revealed that the autistic kid, Hugh, doesn’t actually have autism and is faking it in order to keep people from asking hard questions about him or trying to pry into his life (which is full of secrets). I’m definitely not a fan of perpetuating the idea that people fake diabilities in order to manipulate people, so this plot twist was not my favorite. However, it wasn’t really enough to inspire me to write a whole ass essay about the representation. And then I got to the fucking text conversation with Vyn.

Here is where I’m gonna put a trigger warning for talk about eugenics, curing autism, ableism, and basically just a fuck ton of awful shit. Fuck, this makes me so mad.

So, I went in and took screenshots of both options just to see, and all of them lead to terrible bullshit. Lets start out pretty light with the MC and Vyn discussing symptoms.

This is a pretty limited and honestly incomplete explanation of autistic behaviors. These can definitely be symptoms, but they’re heavily overcovered and really basic. A lot of autistic people don’t have these symptoms, and it would be really nice if more media branched out and covered more of the spectrum. However, considering they don’t do anything different in any other areas, I’m not surprised.

Also not a fan of Vyn’s use of “abnormal.” It has some very negative connotations and is a bit insulting, honestly. These behaviors are perfectly “normal;” they’re just not as accepted by neurotypical people. Plus, no behaviors can really be labeled as normal because humans are complex and different.

That was the easy shit. Let’s get into the truly awful garbage.

This is treading into ABA territory here. For those of you who are unaware, ABA is pushed as the best autistic therapy, but a large majority of autistic adults consider it to be abusive and unhelpful. This is mainly because it seeks to “correct” many behaviors that are helpful for autistic people. It seeks to surpress stims (which are behaviors that improve the mental health of autistic children), force us to talk (as opposed to letting us use sign language and technology), and more. This harms our mental health and makes us ashamed of who we are. These behaviors do not need to be “corrected.” We don’t need to act “normally.” All this therapy does is make us more palitable for neurotypical people, and it’s bullshit.

It also doesn’t help that ABA was pioneered by Ivar Lovaas, a man who did not believe autistic people were human. He developed ABA as a way to “build a person” using harsh punishments such as withholding affection and ELECTRIC SHOCKS. If you think this is a think of the past, you’d be wrong. Electric shocks are still being used to harm disabled people. Look up the hashtag #StopTheShock to learn more and help push for legislation that bans this practice.

Oh, and did I mention Ivar Lovaas also inspired gay conversion therapy? Because he did! So yeah, fuck ABA and fuck Vyn for performing it (god damn it, Vyn, I liked you a lot).

And now, onto the eugenics. Fuck my life.

FUCK! THIS! BULLSHIT!

I am so tired of autism being treated as this horrific disease that needs a cure. I had a perfectly fine childhood. Yes, it was hard at times, yes I got traumatized, but a large part of that was due to ableism and abuse from teachers and peers. A large reason why autistic people suffer is because the world is not built for us, and we are often denied accommodations that would make our lives better.

It is beyond offensive and disgusting to suggest that we would be better off not existing than “suffering so much” because of autism. Because that is what this game and everyone else who thinks there should be a cure is suggesting. There is no me without autism. it literally affects my brain structure. You are wishing for a completely different person when you tell me that autism should be cured.

Now, I’m not going to get into the horrible consent issues that arise from talks about a cure, including genetic editing, fear mongering to parents so they think abortion is the only option, and straight up Nazi style eugenics. I do not have the spoons to delve into that exhausting discussion. But if you want to know more, then there are so many incredible autistic people who have written blogs, Twitter threads, and more about why a cure is a terrible idea.

Oh, and if you’re going to come at me with the “severely autistic people should be cured” bullshit, don’t bother. There is no such thing as “severe” autism, first of all, and second, non verbal autistic people (which are who people think of when they talk about “severe” autism), largely don’t want a cure. There have been so many surveys of tens of thousands of autistic people, and the result is that the overwhelming majority do not want to be cured. We want support and proper accommodations. Listen to us.

So, in conclusion, fuck this text conversation and it’s ableist and offensive bullshit. I really wish ToT had stayed away from autism, or at the very least did not touch on therapy or a possible cure. For a game that is about genetic experimentation on children and how bad that is, it sure peddles a lot of eugenics.

Fuck, this text conversation actually made me ill and I hate that. I’m so done with constantly trying to prove to the world that I am a human being who deserves to exist. I’m gonna go cuddle my service dog now.

#tears of themis #vyn richter #autism #autistic perspective #autism representation #seriously can we stop treating my disability like a disease? Is that so fucking hard? #i don't need a cure #i deserve to exist #aba is abuse #autistic people deserve to exist #hugh tears of themis #tot #tot vyn #god damn it vyn I simped for you

[xmint-conditionx]

tongue tied | myg

pairing: yoongi x reader, f2l

w/c: 3.5k

summary: you've been best friends with yoongi for almost a decade, and you're hopelessly in love with him. he's the most important person in your life, and you don't want to mess that up, so you can never be anything more... right?

written as a response to a request from the old blog -- the requestor was @yoongi--enthusiast; thanks again for your request, i loved doing it!!! "I had an idea... something based off of the song “tongue tied” with yoongi. I feel like it would be super soft with soft smut... I just think it would be nice to read so can you please wright it 🥺👉👈"

tags/cw: 18+ please, smut, outdoor sex, overall a little angsty but super cute too

a/n: i did not know that there was a song called tongue tied by marshmello before i wrote this so... i hope the person who requested this didn’t mean that song because I wrote this drabble over the grouplove song lmaooo but anyway, here goes! thanks luv, enjoy! also reposted from the old blog!!

Yoongi’s laugh is so beautiful. It’s rare, so when you see it, you soak up everything you can about it. The way his eyes crinkle up into crescent moons, the way his lips curl back putting his gummy smile on bright display. You can swear you see his eyes sparkle.

You are in love with him. You are in love with your best friend.

He makes loving him such an easy thing to do; bringing you into his inner world, showing you the sweet and warm center he conceals from everyone else. The way he looks at you, the way he says your name, the way he pouts when he wants a back scratch, all of those little things that make him who he is only deepen your infatuation with him.

You’re with him again this Friday night, making the drive to Bom’s house. It’s been a long week for the both of you; he’s been wrapped up in producing a track and you’ve been nose deep in college textbooks. His track is completed, and your exams are over. It’s safe to say that you both could use a good break.

It’s the end of the spring semester and the weather is going to be gorgeous tonight. The racing summer breeze coming through the open car windows is exhilarating. The sun is setting, and the warm evening light on Yoongi’s dewy skin makes him appear absolutely radiant as he navigates the highway.

You’re just listening to fun little summer jams as you speed off toward the city’s suburbs. Ones with funky little basslines that are easy to groove and sing along to. Ones that make you shout and laugh into the rushing wind. Ones that make you drink in the moment you’re having with Yoongi; ones that make you soak up all of his joy.

And when he steals a sly look your way, one hand still on the top of the steering wheel, you can swear your heart stops.

You’ve loved him as long as you can remember really knowing him. Since you were both 12, bonding over games of tag and basketball and the spilling of secrets to each other. You’d sit beneath the big tree in his backyard and share the snacks you’d bought at the corner store. He’d always let you have the last chocolate.

The only secret you’ve ever kept from Yoongi is the matter of your infatuation, and you are pretty resolute in keeping it that way.

He is the single most important person in your life. He had been there with you through it all; when your parents split up at 13, when your dad got you your first car at 15, when your long time boyfriend cheated on you at 16, when your dream college denied you at 17, when you got a full ride scholarship to a smaller university outside of the city right after that, when you were drugged at a house party at 20, when you were diagnosed with depression at 21, and when you were accepted into your masters program at 22.

You needed him, and because of that, you could never tell him.

You pull into the gates that surround Bom’s neighborhood. Her parents are pretty wealthy, so they live on a golf course. As you pull up into the driveway, you see some other students milling about, catching Frisbee. There’s Eunha, Ireum, Ji-Ah, and Miyeun that you recognize from some of your classes, but there are a few more that you’ve never met.

After a few rounds of drinks and a few lost games of flip cup, you all head outside to the back patio with all of your schoolwork from the year. Bom turns on the bluetooth speaker and sets it on the railing. You take in the night air and gaze up at the sky, wishing there was a shooting star to wish upon.

“Alright, everyone,” Bom begins, “essays and lab reports first, then tests, then miscellaneous homework.” Yoongi helps you dig through your stack to fish out the cursed papers. You all toss the stapled packages into the fire pit, one by one, each hitting with a soft thud. Once everyone has thrown their woes into the pit, Bom tops it with actual firewood and unceremoniously sets the whole lot of it on fire. You gaze into the center of the flame, watching your entire year catch fire. All the hours you spent doing that research project, all the disappointment when your group members wouldn’t follow through. Gone, like it never existed.

Yoongi’s holding your hand in his, and he’s busy drawing little circles with his thumb on your palm. Your head rests soundly on his shoulder, and you sigh into him, comfortable in where you are. The whole group piles in more papers, as you lament about the shitty professors and the shitty group projects and the shitty caf’ food and the shitty grades. Yoongi turns into you and nuzzles gently on your forehead. You feel his soft lips graze your temple, breath warm on your skin, tingles rising through your body, and you’re right where you want to be. Under the moon’s gaze with the person you love.

Before long, the breeze sends a chill through you that even the fire won’t remedy. Yoongi feels your shiver and unceremoniously removes his hoodie and puts it on over you, pulling up the hood and kissing your forehead. You always love when you wear his jackets; they surround you in his warmth, his smell. A smile plays across your lips until you notice Yoongi’s goosebumps.

“Hey,” you pout, “I don't wanna wear this if you’re gonna be cold.”

“I don’t wanna wear it if you’re gonna be cold,” he snaps back, smiling.

“Here,” you say, standing up from your deck chair. You take the step to get you to Yoongi’s chair, and sit in his lap. “This way we can both be warm, yeah?”

It takes him a second, but he wraps his arms firmly around you again, mumbling a “yeah, that’s fine” when you glance at him over your shoulder.

Your attention is called back to the group with Bom asks if you’re going to the Summer Romance Festival by the river next weekend. She’s been pushing you to get yourself out there more. The last time you were in a real relationship was high school, after all.

“I’d love to go; I hear they have the most beautiful fireworks display,” you start, “but I don’t think I will this year.”

“Well,” Bom says, “Why not?!”

“Because I don’t have a date, Bom!” you say, covering your face in the sweater paws you’ve made from Yoongi’s hoodie. “I don’t think I could find one in enough time.”

“Ya, just get Yoongi to go with you! You already do everything together anyway,” Eunha quips.

You notice that the steady rise and fall of Yoongi’s chest has stopped.

“Hey, you know we’re just friends, right Yoongi?” you look to him for backup.

The man nods, looking down and to the left.

“Okay,” Ireum speaks up, “In that case, do you want to go with me?”

“Wait, what?” you say.

“Do you want to go to the Summer Romance Festival with me? As a date?”

Yoongi tenses beneath you.

“Oh, I don’t know…” you breathe, “Are you sure?”

“One hundred percent. We can even get dinner before we go. Not too much, though. I’ll want to get us a treat from one of the dessert stalls.” Ireum says with a soft smile.

“Yeah,” you say, smiling back at him, “Okay. We’ll go together.”

Yoongi stirs beneath you. “Hey, can you get off of me?”

“What, why?” you pout.

“I said get off.”

“Yoongi, wh--”

He doesn’t wait for you to finish before he abruptly stands up, forcing you to catch yourself. When you look back at him, he’s walking toward the French doors that lead back into the house.

“Ya! What was that about?”

He keeps walking. You storm after him and slam the door, trapping you both inside.

“Yoongi, I’m talking to you! What’s your fucking problem?”

He whirs around.

“Oh, I have a problem?”

“Well, it sure seems like it.” you spit back, hands on your hips.

“Why don’t you go talk about it with your date, huh?” he says, gesturing out the window to Ireum. “Don’t you have some details to work out? He gonna pick you up? You gonna let him hold your hand? On your nice little extra special romantic date? I guess I’ll just fuck right off and leave you two alone, yeah? That’s what you want, cause we’re just friends and all.”

“Yoongi, we… are friends! You’re my best friend!”

“Did you ever for a second think that I could want more?”

“What?!”

“I fucking love you, Y/N! Isn’t it obvious?! I’ve loved you since the 7th grade. You remember when we played spin the bottle at Ha-joon’s house? Do you remember when you kissed me?”

“Yoongi…”

“No, let me finish. Do you remember the frat party we crashed junior year? Remember when we got up onto the roof and made out until we fell asleep? And then you weren't there when I woke up so I walked back to my dorm and then we just pretended it never happened? What the fuck was that, Y/N?!”

You reach for his arm, but he backs up, flinching away from you.

“I am so in love with you it hurts!”

“Yoongi.”

“But I guess if that guy can make you happy, then whatever,” he sighs.

“Yoongi.”

“Go on your little date and have fun and I’ll just go write some more goddamn songs about you--”

“Yoongi!”

He stills, pain flashing through his eyes.

“Yoongi,” you say quietly, easing toward him, “I had no idea. I left the roof to go inside and get you some water. When I came back, you were gone. You had been drinking a lot that night… and I felt really bad because… I thought I had taken advantage of you… Ever since I first kissed you at Ha-joon’s house, I wanted to do it again. And again. And, you looked so good that night and up on the roof when you were laughing about the quarterback I just… I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I thought surely you didn’t want to actually be kissing me.”

“Why the fuck would I have kissed you back, then?”

“You were drunk, and I--” you’re cut off when he grabs your wrist.“I have wanted to kiss you every time I’ve seen you since you first kissed me,” he says, glancing down at your lips. ”I want to kiss you right now.”

You take no time in closing the distance between the two of you, your lips crashing desperately. You’ve tasted his kiss before, but this time feels different. His hands are winding through your hair, pulling you deeper into his kiss. You moan against his mouth, and he responds with his tongue teasing your lips, asking for entry. You grant it, and he explores. One of his hands holds your jaw, the other still intertwined with your hair. His tongue runs along your bottom lip before he sucks it in, drawing out a small whimper from you. Taking his hand from your jaw, he runs it down your neck and décolleté and then down over your stomach and latches it on your hip, sinking his fingers into your skin. He gives your hair a small tug, just enough to break the kiss and expose your neck. He breaks off and trails kisses up your jawline and then onto your neck, speaking in between kisses.

“You have… no idea how… much I’ve… wanted to tell… you everything,” he breathes onto your neck, and you feel a heat pooling in your panties.

“Please, Yoongi…” you say as you begin to run one hand under his shirt. He stops kissing and looks up at you with the softest expression.

“What is it?” he asks as he grabs both of your hands in his, bringing one of them up to his mouth to sprinkle kisses along your fingers.

“You…” you begin and sigh, “you have no idea how much I want you.”

He stills.

“Are you sure? We don’t have to, I’m sorry, I just…” he trails off, eyes getting lost in the way his jacket is draped on your figure.

Him eyeing you up doesn’t make it any better.

“I’ve wanted you for so long,” you say, eyes pleading up at him. “I’m tired of waiting.”

After a beat, he sighs.

“Neither of us are waiting another minute,” he says, landing a quick peck on your lips and going across the room to the couch, grabbing the throw blanket that rests on the arm.

“Come on, I have an idea,” he says, grabbing your arm and leading you out of the front door, across the street, through someone’s back yard until you reach the top of a hill on the side of a fairway. You watch as he scans the area, holding the blanket tight. His gaze lingers on two hills near the green of whatever hole this is, where there are a few more trees and hills to block you from the sightline of those second story windows. He looks at you, eyes asking the question. You smile and nod, and that’s all he needs.

He tugs your hand and you both go running down the fairway, laughing along the way. Once you reach your spot, he quickly puts down the blanket and lays on it. You’re still standing at his feet, hands fiddling with the ends of the jacket sleeves.

He smiles up at you and holds his arms up in your direction and says, “come here, beautiful,” while doing little grabby hands.

You slowly walk up to where he’s laying and sit on top of his hips, feeling how hard he already is. His hand rests on your hip underneath the fabric of his jacket, the other holding the side of your face.

“Let me see you,” he says with a tinge of whine in his voice, and that gives you an idea.

You reach under the still zipped jacket and fiddle around. Yoongi looks up at you befuddled, the corners of his lips turning down slightly as he tries to figure out what’s going on. When your hands emerge, one is holding your strapless bra and the other is holding the halter top you had been wearing. You can’t believe you managed to unzip the back by yourself.

You throw the garments to the side, and watch as understanding hits his face. His eyes glaze over and he licks his lips, clearly shaken up by your little trick.

He carefully dips his fingers below the waistband of your shorts and eases them down. You put your weight on him and give him a few kisses as he continues to move them down your legs. Once they too have been tossed to the side, you sit back up, lips red and swollen from the kiss.

He gently reaches up to the zipper of the jacket and begins to slowly pull it down, letting the cool night air in. You feel your nipples harden at the exposure to both the night air and Yoongi’s hungry eyes. He swallows and licks his lips as he runs his eyes over every new inch of you that is revealed. Memorizing your form, your perked nipples, the way your chest rises with each anxious breath.

He reaches back up to the collar and eases one shoulder of fabric off. You move to take the rest off despite the cold, but he stills your hand with his.

“Keep it on, please. I love seeing you wear my clothes,” Yoongi says, intertwining his fingers with yours.

You bring his hand up to your lips, pressing them against his knuckles as you slowly grind your still covered core on his length. He groans in frustration, his pants getting tighter. You let go of his hand and run your fingers up beneath his white cotton v-neck, his ab muscles flinching under your touch. You help him remove his shirt, taking in the way his pale skin shines under the moonlight.

Seeing you look at him makes his cock twitch in his pants, and you think it’s time to provide him some relief.

You scoot back and start to undo his belt, getting low and staring up at him through your lashes. His breath hitches when you make eye contact with him, and then it starts to pick up as you undo the button and zipper. You shimmy down the denim, but leave his black boxer-briefs where they are.

You come back up to the waistband after releasing his jeans, and you take the elastic in between your teeth. You tug them down with your teeth while your hands pull them on the sides. His erection springs free, and he sucks in a fast breath when his cock meets the cool air. You take the opportunity to let your warm breath ghost over his throbbing cock, coaxing a deep groan from Yoongi. He puts his hand to your cheek, and you look up to meet his gaze.

“I don’t think I can last if you put me in your mouth, baby girl. We can do head next time,” Yoongi says, and your heart soars at the pet name. You ease back up so that you’re straddling him once more, and reflexively start to grind on him again.

“Please let me take care of you. Look how wet you are,” he says, running his fingers over your clothed slit, dipping one finger in to collect a bit of slick. He tastes his finger and says. “Yeah, we’re definitely going to need to do head next time.”

You blush at the thought of him buried between your thighs, vulgarly slurping up everything you have to give him. You clench just thinking about it, and Yoongi notices. He pulls your panties to the side, takes the head of his cock and presses it to your clit, teasing your entrance. His precum mixes with your wetness, and you can’t resist him any more. You’ve resisted him for years, and you’re done.

You slowly ease yourself down on his cock, only making it halfway down before you have to wait for you to adjust. You both look at each other; Yoongi’s jaw is set and his eyebrows are furrowed together. Your mouth drops open as you raise and lower yourself again, feeling the delicious stretch that accompanies it. You bottom out and begin setting a slow and gentle pace.

Your body is rolling steadily, moonlight creating beautiful shadows on your body as you take him in over and over. As many times as you’ve dreamed of this, you still didn’t fathom it being this good or it feeling this right.

Yoongi is everything you had imagined he would be and then some. The way he is looking up at you, the way his soft little moans escape every time you bottom out, the way his eyebrows furrow together at the sight of your dripping heat enveloping him. Perfection.

He takes his hands and trails them up the curve of your waist, stopping just below your breasts. He runs his thumbs over your nipples, making you shudder and arch your back, pushing your chest into his hands. He palms them, kneading little circles around your areolas.

You lean forward, putting your weight on him again, and he meets you eagerly with another kiss. He wraps his arms around your back, keeping himself under the jacket, and you pick up the rhythm. Yoongi scratches his nails all the way down your back. Once he gets to your ass, he cups it, squeezing gently. You place your forehead against his, and your eyes meet.

“Y/N,” he whispers, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear, “you look so beautiful on top of me like this. Please let me see this sight for the rest of my life.” You whimper at the praise, and pick up the pace.

“Please,” he continues, small grunts mixing in with his words, “Don’t wake up tomorrow and pretend like this never happened. Please... don’t break my heart,” he pleads.

“Not a chance, Yoon. I can never let you go. You’re everything to me. You’ve always been.”

“Baby, I am so close. Can I--”

“Come with me, Yoongi. Let’s do it together,” you say. Yoongi’s hands are on your hips and he’s thrusting up into you with an unrelenting pace. At this angle, you can feel his head graze against your cervix with each thrust, sending white spots in your vision.

You both reach your end at the same time, breaths mingling as you come down from your highs. You lay your head on his chest and listen to his heartbeat gradually slow. He presses a soft, lingering kiss to the top of your head and sighs into your hair.

“So…” he begins, “do you wanna go to the festival with me?” Yoongi asks.

“Are you gonna pick me up? Let me hold your hand? Have a nice little special romantic date?” you fire back, trying your best to sound like him. You sit up on your arm, letting your hair hang over to one side, and watch the light dance in his eyes as he laughs.

“Yeah,” he laughs, “I might even get us a little snack from one of the desert vendors.”

#bts smut #bts smut reactions #bts smut one shot #bts fanfiction #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #min yoongi #yoongi x you #yoongi smut one shot #soft!yoongi #yoongi--enthusiast #send me requests

[deanwasalwaysbi]

I've gotta say, I find the concept of Bedlund trying to Ben-Hur Jensen absolutely hysterical. I'm just imagining Jensen getting a script and being like "Ben?? What's this? Is this gay? This seems gay????" and Ben just soothing him like a frightened horse.

Hahaha - Look it wouldn't be the first time. What is this verb we're working with? Okay. Strap in everyone. The Multi-Oscar-winning 1959 movie 'Ben Hur' had a bunch of gay subtext. The writer, the director, and the second lead actor all knew that Charlton Heston's character, Ben Hur, was gay. However, one person didn't find out until the 1990s: Charlton Heston. The consensus on set was "Don’t tell Charlton, because he’ll freak out." and when Heston found out in the ninties, freak out was exactly what he did. (x) [the movie may have gotten a reference from Misha back in season 6 (x)]

Whether this happened with Jensen on SPN depends on two things.

Was the character of Dean intentionally written as Bi and, if so, at what point did that become true?

Did anyone tell Jensen? Did he figure it out? if so, when?

I personally DO believe at this point, I really do, that Bedlund - Ben Hur'd Jensen. I think it was part of the writers room but not all of it, until it was. (Which RN I believe finally happened under Dabb.) I think Jensen wasn't in on it, until he was. So for me? I think he really was in the dark at one point. But at what point that changed? Probably only he can answer that question. and RN? He ain't talking.

In the meantime we can only look at things Jensen has said on the subject - Like this unbearably ambiguous GIF set from @nikadd. Was this tongue in cheek? Legitimate ignorance? You're killing me, Jensen. That cheeky lil smile, Jensen. Nvm - I'm going to kill you instead. It's for my own survival. No hard feelings right? You understand.

UH OH HERE COMES A CUT TO HIDE A LONG DERANGED POST...

We can look at the text for number 1 - and I do that uh - a lot - see the blog name #Dean Was Always Bi

For number 2 we can look over some points when we got clues from what Jensen thought was going on [regardless of whether they make sense based on his jacting or directorial choices I guess] and get left wondering whether at any point he felt pressured to lie for his career, for self protection, or to protect the narrative from the network: 

2010 - 'We're missing the gay angel' (x) (Season 5 gag reel) (x) “Sorry man, not what the show’s about.” Jared: One of the good and bads about playing the straight [non-comedic] character on the show… Jensen: What wait? I’ve been playing him so wrong

2012 / S8 - Trenchcoat - Jensen talking about how sometimes they change the lines because they're way too gay. Calls Cas a third brother

2012 - "What's Destiel?" Ben Edlund: That’s some weird shit. Jensen: Is this something that you created, Ben? Ben: You don’t want any part of that.

“Don’t ruin it for everyone now” “I still don’t know what the question was. I’m going to pretend I don’t know what the question was.”

2013 @ JIB, re Dean’s reaction to Aaron’s flirting in the season 8 episode Everybody Hates Hitler,  (x)

“And the scene wasn’t written to be that kind of - I mean - It was written to be awkward.  Ben Edlund wrote the - my favorite line in that scene was ‘carry on . citizen’ that was - I almost couldn’t say that with a straight face I was laughing so hard.  But it was - you know - it was comedy. It was a comedic moment in the show and fortunately Dean gets a lot of the comedic moments in the show and it was just, you know, Ben was poking fun at the fact that - you know, how can we make this very kind of manly, heterosexual guy uncomfortable - uh -you know, or  or have him back on his heels and throw him off his game a little bit.”

The thing is - Bedlund and Phil Sgriccia made very clear on the commentary track that THEY saw this scene as a 'romantic comedy kind of fluster' "This potential for love in all places."

Ben Edlund calling the writer’s room a boy’s club in 2013 (x)

Misha Collins telling Destiel fans they aren’t Crazy in 2013 after some executives said they were (x).

2014 Jensen says he was glad there wasn’t much Dean and Cas in season 9  - HA Hah HAH (x)

“I think the whole Cas and Dean thing has gotten out of hand”  “I don’t think there’s anything secret to their relationship even though a lot of people wish there was” REMINDER - that season we got the nightstands acknowledgement and “play him like a jilted lover” and the “he dumped me James” cut and -

I certainly know that Misha and I don’t play that. SIGH. they Ben Hur'd Jensen.

2014 - the fan fiction joke - 10.05

“I didn’t have a positive reaction, The first time in I think 200 scripts I went and sat down in the showrunners office and said, ‘What in god’s name are you doing?! Why? I need to understand why this is happening.’” “[Carver] gave very eloquent answers and did a great job of explaining why we were doing what we were doing, I guess I had been aware of this ‘fan fiction’ for a while and I felt like maybe if I ignored it, it would eventually go away. When I read it in the script that is what I do for a living and is my work—I’m very protective of these characters and the story and I think we have a right to be—I wasn’t angry. I just wanted to understand why and what was the message we were ultimately sending with this script and story. By the end of it, I felt good and it gave me all the confidence I needed. It was better than I could have ever hoped.”

But then there's Jensen in 2015 talking about all of Dean’s bromances. (x)  [gifs at the top] Could go either way - starting to figure it out? or No?

What had changed if anything? the entire Crowely season 10 story line?  This was July 2015 - the same day as the SDCC 2015 panel where Misha talked about Destiel   (x @ 13) Carver and Dabb were there - 

By this time Jensen and Misha were nominated for a teen choice award for best chemistry against various tv couples (and one ensemble cast, but the award nomination did NOT include Jared) .... Misha and Jensen would go on to WIN this award one month after the panel.

At the Panel Rob and Rich ask the question: “You two have branded yourselves as TV’s greatest team since, ... idk who.... Ernie and Bert so.”  [Misha says to Jensen & Jared, half not on the microphone: “I really didn’t expect them to throw us under the bus.”] “are we going to see that continue? Is the Castiel Dean relationship still aflutter and still growing as we move into season 11?”  Jeremy Carver: “Ish.” [mocking from panel ensues] “Yes. Of course. I mean Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. There’s no doubt.”

Jensen Directs 11x03 and the choreo mimics Goodbye stranger (x)

2016 - Jensen: Dean could have a huntress, but you’d kill her.

Jan 2017 Con the infamous - no hedge - harsh - “Destiel doesn’t exist.” (x)

I would hope that if he knew he wouldn’t have been so harsh with it.  So by that point either he still didn’t know - OR - to him ‘Destiel’ was specifically about internet porn/sex and not like - the potential for feelings / a relationship.  It makes me think about something Misha had actually said, around 2013, “It’s called ‘Destiel’ and it’s about the romantic interludes between Dean and Castiel.” (x)

2017 - jib8 Jensen called Dean a lover of the ladies

May 2017 - After filming the end of season 12:

2018 - Misha confirms he and Jensen have talked about Destiel (x) - also 2018: The Bisexual Dean essay "? No." (Oh god was this really this recent?! I can't deal with this.)

Well. SOMETHING happened in 2019. cuz here it comes

2019 - "Dean has no taste, clearly." 2019 - 'So, tell us just a little bit about what you're most excited to tackle with your character this final season.' "Cas. Just like a full football form tackle."

Look at this face he gave Dean when Cas told him he loved him and tell me he wasn't playing into it here. You can't. (x)

#jackles long con #unparalled media experience #desticule #dean is bi #spn tinhatting #ben hur treatment #dean was always bi #jackles sexy silence #jensen ackles #spn meta #spngate #spn bts #spn behind the scenes #ben edlund #ben hur #bedlund #spn metacanon #i went off #I really do believe that bedlund ben hur'd Jensen #spn gaslighting #JENSEN WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL #my asks #caslighting #original content #long post #this has been stewing for a long time #reference #oh do help me this is somehting other people know way more about. #deranged #spn homophobia

[descendants-brat]

How I feel about Mal Bertha and her character PART 1

 This is not a Mal bertha Biography and it is biased in the sense that I don’t like her at all. Read with caution.

Descendants 2 was actually the first movie of the trilogy that I had watched. My little sister was watching it and I happened to be passing by and sat to watch it with her when it caught my eye. 2017 me had a completely different opinion of Mal bertha than today not because I was younger but simply because D3 hadn’t come out yet and I hadn’t watched the first movie or even knew there was books. I can’t stand Mal bertha, not even the D1 version of her and that’s the one even Mal antis love. I didn’t like her in the first movie but it was more of a “I wouldn’t be friends with her.” I didn’t think that she was unforgiveable and that it was impossible to give her a second chance. She made her own bad choices but she expressed genuine regret for them and was only 16. Despite me, loathing Mal’s existence I related to her in sense that it’s scary wanting to change but you don’t know whether or not your actions have caused too much damage. 

In D2 watching it as a stand alone I saw a girl wanting something other than the ‘happily ever after’ and deciding she would go for what would make her happy when she went back to isle. I was desperately hoping that after the ‘It’s going down’ scene that she would go back to the isle and not choose to stay somewhere she wanted to leave. But we know how that went and the ending left me bitter and sad not for her, but for Uma. She began to leave a bitter taste in my mouth when she broke up with Ben and came back and just expected him to get back together with her. I’m going to go around every version of her character.

PRE D1

She was a dick. That’s the simplest way I can put it. I don’t like even acknowledging pre d1 Mal because it leaves me with this very negative view of her character that I don’t think was necessary. I feel like this is a big fuck up, wanting to have Mal be her ‘evilest’ before coming to Auradon. I understand the reason why they wanted to show her growth and change throughout the series. But after looking at some real life scenarios with a similar Mal situation it made me look at it differently. Imagine this: someone who severely bullied you and harassed you and everyone around getting to go to a new place and get the best treatment there, then she’s congratulated with becoming queen of that land and not only that she then decides she’s going to be queen of the place she was bullying and harassing people at without ever properly apologizing. This happens in real life and these people get exposed which is why I don’t like it. It would be different if Mal actual grew throughout the series but it was real just her gaining more power and the scenery changing from Pre D1-D3. She also continued to make the same type of ‘mistakes’ with no actual direct consequences all she had to do was cry and they forgave her. She would be okay if it Descendants was a stand alone movie. But knowing the type of life she would get to live after all of this behavior puts me off from reading it. It would also be different if Mal lived a simple life in Auradon (Aka not trying to take control by dating the king and then stepping all over said king) She got more than what she deserved to have. In my opinion she did deserve the chance at all better life just like all the other kids who didn’t commit any crimes to be locked up. But in the eyes of people she victimized she wouldn’t deserve to be Queen become royalty, live in castles and get gifted with limos and bikes. 

D1

 D1 is the version of Mal everyone generally likes however, like I stated before I didn’t like her even then. At the start we see someone who is clearly trying to please her mother so if her mother wants bad behavior she gives her that. Throughout the main plot she did things of her own accord that she can’t use her mom as an excuse for. There’s a couple different things but a lot of them had to do with Ben and I’m making a whole post on how Ben was treated like shit throughout the franchise so that will be addressed then and not in this post. However for a reference she drugged him with a spelled cookie into falling in love with her for the wand. He wasn’t even willing to eat the cookie at first but she guilt tripped him into eating it. We could brush this off as her doing whatever she needed to do to get to the crown but to me she took advantage of the situation by actually going on dates with him. He was already spelled and willing to listen to whatever she wanted so besides for her own personal interest why would she go on the dates? (Granted a 16 year old wanting to get cute and have a nice date with a nice boy is not a fault or wrong in any way the fault here is all of this was happening when Ben was not in his right state of mind until the spell washed off.) Her taking advantage of Jane’s insecurities was not cool either and I’m interested in what ways she would’ve tried to use Jane if it was easier to get to the wand through her. Since her main crime in my opinion was Ben and since he’ll have his own essay post I’ll focus on Audrey here.

Her disrespect to Audrey

It was unnecessary, she had no reason to have had Audrey’s name in her mouth as much as she did D1. It would make more sense for Mal to like Audrey’s sassy boldness to me not shit talk her every chance she got. At the start they had a small passive aggressive conversation that could’ve just been left at that because technically they burred the hatchet between the two families. It was a “hey I don’t fuck with you, you don’t fuck with me” type of a situation that could’ve grown civil. However, throughout the movie in comparison to Audrey who really just had a problem with Mal’s mother until she spelled ben then it became direct problems with each other. Mal was continuously talking shit about Audrey as if Audrey was the one who fucked with her family. This time her upbringing can be referenced, on the Isle she most likely was allowed to openly hate things and Audrey was most likely raised to at least pretend to be polite. But from the Audrey we’ve seen she clearly doesn’t care about holding her tongue she’s straightforward with how she feels and she didn’t have a problem with Mal she had a problem with her mother. The only time she talked about Mal directly was about the hair spells which she ended up being right about (Mal’s addictive reliance on magic in D2 and Jane at the end of D1).  After completely ignoring Audrey’s feelings and literally stole her boyfriend (not even on the the you can’t steal a loyal man type of shit she literally stole him he wasn’t even allowed to consent to it.) She later in Audrey’s Diary multiple times tries to reason this with she never meant to directly hurt Audrey and that she didn’t really want Ben she just wanted the wand etc etc. The evidence doesn’t back this up Mal, you’ve made your disdain for Audrey clear and talked shit about her to Evie right after you spelled Ben the did I mention bs claiming “Chad will see her horrible personally” as if you knew her personally and that Chad didn’t grow up with her. Mal can say she didn’t mean to hurt Audrey but she clearly didn’t mind that she did.

 I’m going to make a whole separate on Audrey and how I do think she gets a lot of slack because people can relate to her, but also how her treatment in comparison to Mal’s is unfair. 

 I did think she deserved a chance to show remorse for her behavior (spoiler: she didnt) Again, I like to look at things from the pov of other characters for things like this. If I was an Auradon kid who was friends with Mal and ended up finding out she was using me and plotting to take over and destroy the place I lived with/for her mother but changed her mind last minute. I would see her as forgivable I just wouldn’t want her around me. In other words I would expect her to start her own new life, not continue trying to live the one where she was plotting without even actually apologizing to people. AU: After descendants instead of continuing to date Ben she breaks it off and goes to an Art school frequently coming back to visit Auradon and after high school she goes on a quest (with the C4 of course) exploring all kinds of different kingdoms and countries because she was locked up on the isle her whole life. In the future she possibly returns to Auardon and even could get back together with Ben with a proper start.

D2

The first Descendants Movie I ever saw so it holds a special place with me and I actually rooted for Mal the first time I watched it. I sat in to watch at the argument scene and knowing all of the plots now and after rewatching  it my opinion has change greatly. We see a blonde and very stressed Mal who’s dealing with the pressures of becoming a royal in order to secure her place with Ben. I do feel bad for Mal when she was talking to Evie, she was trying to reach out to her friend about her situation and was basically told to stop talking about it. I understand Evie’s feelings of wanting to leave the past behind but I can also understand Mal feeling like she’s cornered and can’t even talk to her best friend. I can also understand her feelings of ending up overwhelmed with her decisions from going to somebody who did whatever whenever to becoming a royal with duties I get the pressure. If Mal decided that wasn’t the life she wanted to live and went back to the isle where she felt more comfortable I don’t see anything wrong with that. She wasn’t required to stay in Auradon if she felt like she was unhappy there. That says a little something about Auradon to me if somebody would rather live where they ate rotten food than live there.  My sympathy for Mal stops there because everything else was a result of her own actions and things she brought onto herself.

1. The royal situation

Let’s get one thing clear nobody was forcing Mal to hand sign up for the prime and proper royal life. She did that herself.

Nobody told her that she had to dye her hair blonde and have a complete wardrobe change, she did.

Nobody said she even had to continue the terrible relationship she had with Ben and go straight into being a royal in order to basically become Ben’s wifey, she did.

She’s saying all of these people are expecting things of her when 6 months ago she was stealing candy from babies when she was the one who let people have these expectations. She decided to take up the role herself because that was what she wanted. Let’s be honest with how it happened Mal would not live in Auradon if she had to be a regular citizen she wanted to be in control of everybody and to have power because that how she always lived. However once she realized that nobody was just about to hand her this power just for being with Ben unlike with her Mom  (getting to rule the isle just because she was her daughter and not because she actually worked her way up there) and that she actually had duties and work to fulfill if she wanted to be the boss. She let her pride get in the way by feeling she had to prove she could last with Ben and become an Auradon girl and ended up miserable and blaming Ben for  something she decided to do herself.

She then had the responsibility to fulfill all of those duties and she was struggling unlike anybody else who would’ve had to abide by the “don’t use magic” quote on quote rule she decided to use Magic after claiming she’d give it up and was still a hot ass mess. She can’t even use the excuse that was to help her with her lady in training because she was using it to not be late to class and later to try and manipulate Ben.  @ishiphumasohard made a good response on why it was unfair for Mal to use magic as her ‘right’ because at what point would it be unfair to other kids? While all the other kids have to show up on time to school Mal gets to use magic to turn back time instead of just being on time. If other kids studied all night for a test Mal can use a speed reading spell. If there was a cooking contest Mal can spell her way into a feast while the others would have to the actual labor. You get the point, because magic is not universally used by everyone in Auradon and it’s an unspoken rule that it’s not to be used then she should have followed this rule.

I will say the girl was stressed and was feeling alone, I already gave my sympathies for that.

The magic situation really hit the fan when she felt comfortable enough to spell the boyfriend who had already put enough trust in her to continue their relationship that started with her drugging him for her own benefit. Compared to her Ben did seem to be taking it easy but maybe like her, he didn’t want to show it. It seems Ben and Mal had a sort of pack to work hard together to become ‘the king and queen’ of Auradon they were supposed to be in it together. In my opinion it would make more sense for Ben to be hiding things from Mal than the other way around due to the nature of their shitty relationship. But that’s just not how it went down and after Mal tries to spell Ben into not finding her spellbook he gets RIGHTFULLY ANGRY. That entire scene was her fault, she could’ve explained herself and why she was using magic and that she was having a hard time but she once again decides to take advantage of Ben’s trust. Then proceeds to make sure she ends the  fight with her being the victim. So much so that the entire fact that she spelled Ben was never brought up again.

Going back to the isle 

She then decides to go back to the isle, if this was really her decision I wouldn’t mind it. There’s nothing wrong with her liking the isle better than Auradon if that’s where she felt at home. The problem was she was clearly emotional and let’s be honest, if she had called all of her friends together and actually broke up with Ben and told them this was her decision to go back to the isle before leaving they MIGHT (hard might) not have ran after her like they did. Not only that the duties that we were speaking of earlier, she didn’t formally pull out of anything which is why it irked me when she was so irritated that they came back for her.

Some people actually didn’t like her attitude as soon as she got back on the isle because she expected to run it. That wasn’t surprising to me honestly, because for her whole life that’s how it was, only person she was scared of was her mother. She quickly realized however now that her mom isn’t around and in lizard form nobody was scared of her. Most unrealistic part of D2 was how Mal didn’t get jumped as soon as people realized she got back. Like I said Isle Mal was a straight dickhead and had too many enemies to be walking around like she was. 

Another point was when she got her hair dyed by dizzy, the shop wasn’t open, she saw this, ignored it and went in anyway. Not even because her and Dizzy were tight like that she just expected her to do what she wanted (get the pattern with Mal here?)

 Skipping her scene with harry because it did nothing to the plot.

The rest of the C4 and Ben come to get Mal back as expected and she acts all surprised and angry. Ben apologizes to her and instead of apologizing for what she did and then explaining that she doesn’t want to go back to Auradon and be a lady of the court. She continues the narrative that Ben wanted her to change and that she’s not good for Auradon so she’s going to stay on the isle. What’s the difference between the two? The first one is her taking responsibility of her actions and deciding for herself that that’s not the life she wants. While the other is acknowledging none of the blame and deciding to run away not because that’s not what she really wants but because everyone will turn on her so she has to run first. It painted a narrative that nothing of this was her own doing while at the same time making it seem like she is doing the right thing by backing away which in hindsight probably was the better decision. Mal’s feelings weren’t the problem I understand them, she thinks she won’t be accepted as herself so she wants to leave before they can kick her out but that’s not what caused her to leave and she knows it. You got caught doing something shitty and instead of apologizing you ran away.

After Ben gets kidnapped she lectures the C4, again she does have some blame in this. With the way the fight ended it made it look like Ben was in the wrong so he was going to try and apologize regardless if they brought him or not. The rest of them came to keep him safe and as her gang members come back for her. Was this not something she considered after she calmed herself down? Ben honestly had no reason to be directly on the isle unprotected besides to sneak and apologize to you so are you really going to just blame the C4 for bringing him there and getting him captured?

Then when Uma, who has him captured plans a meeting she antagonizes her like that’s what is best for Ben at the time. Even in the mist of Ben being in danger she thought it was a good idea to try and piss off the person holding him captive. If you don’t remember what she did she called her shrimpy, insulted the smell of the restaurant and said she never thought of Uma while implying that Uma always had her on her mind for no reason. None of that was necessary to ask what Uma’s conditions were to give Ben back she just couldn’t help herself. 

She didn’t care about Dizzy

Who had just performed a task for her and right after she paid her got robbed and had the place trashed just for Mal to say she’ll be alright. This should’ve been foreshadowing at the very least that she wasn’t ready to be making decisions for other people’s lives because besides her own and her friends she didn’t care for many especially those on the isle.

It’s going down

Even though it was in the song and not directly her words again antagonizing the person who has Ben held captive and threatening his life, insulting them is stupid. This entire scene is messy and they shouldn’t even had been able to win a fight against pirates outnumbered. When has Mal ever picked up a sword???

Car ride Back

She gets mad when Ben has sympathy/ shows understanding for Uma. She somehow realizes that it’s wrong Uma kidnapped him but was comfortable spelling him without a second thought. In my opinion she thought she had some type of ownership over Ben she could do what she wanted to him and if somebody else did it was wrong. (Even though this can be applied to what she did in D1, I’m only talking about D2 because most people agree she showed regret for her actions in D1) When he calls her out on her hypocrisy she goes mute and does that thing, of letting her mouth hang opened whenever she gets called out on her shit.

END OF PART 1

I was going to make this one long post but I’ve been putting this off long enough so here is part 1, no idea when part 2 will be up. I do hope to have the Ben posts up before that.

#anti mal #anti mal bertha #anti bal #anti ben and mal #ben florian #ben descendants #descendants #disney descendants #audrey descendants #princess audrey #Audrey Rose #evie descendants #ben deserves better #uma descendants