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#also tumblr killed the quality ugh
mothicalspoken · 2 years
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My old man told me,
you don’t open your eyes for a while
you just breathe that moment down.
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floydstruly · 7 months
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thinking of a secret relationship with jamil....
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Ugh yes >__< here's a couple headcanons idk how to write for jamil so this is experimental but you’re so right!! Also ugh so sorry if this isn’t what you wanted!! ;; thank you for talking to me though ily forever! Also stupid tumblr is killing my formatting ummm
cw. none! Not proof read but that’s about it this is just fluff
pairing: jamil viper x gn!readet
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Jamil doesn’t particularly like attention, let alone being the spotlight, he’s grown accustomed to being a wallflower–after all, he’s been in Kalim’s shadow his whole life.
His family and friends would also probably pester him about the relationship (especially his sister and Kalim, they will not shut up about it).
Even after his overblot, nothing really changes about him, so he doesn’t see the point in announcing his relationship to the whole world. He’d much rather take things slow and steady with you.
He isn’t too big on PDA either, it’s embarrassing–the farthest he’ll go is holding your hand in the hallway and even that is pushing it.
Just because he is secretive and non vocal about his relationship with you does not mean he doesn’t love you, in fact, he loves you more than anything in the world.
He’s not one for grandiose gestures. He’d rather just spend quality time with you in private or helping you with anything and everything no matter how trivial it may seem–taking care of you when you’re sick, making you a cup of coffee in the morning, etc. He just absolutely loves pampering you.
You frequently sneak into his dorm at night even after he’s scolded you multiple times after Kalim caught you at ungodly times of the night. Sometimes, Kalim invites you to stay over–thinking you are simply, really, really, close friends with Jamil. Friends sneak over to see each other all the time!
He’ll show you his affection in very subtle ways, such as if he’s cooking for the day (which he usually is), he’ll give you a slightly bigger portion than the rest of your dorm, or even Kalim, for that matter. Don’t worry if you can’t finish it either or you don’t like the food he’s made, he’ll pick up after you.
Although, he is very careful about keeping your relationship a secret–it’s bound to come out one day.
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It’s uncharacteristically cold in the usually scalding Scarabia, the moonlight frames the dorm, the peaks, edges and sharp angles seem so much softer at night, as if they were extending an invitation to you. And that is an invitation you accept ever so graciously, you sink your head into the pillow, your body resting on the hard, carpeted floor. You can still smell a faint aroma of food from the previous banquet.
Jamil is most likely asleep at this point, you think and the screen of your phone flickers. 2:00 AM. The time reaffirms your thoughts, you’d snuck into the dorm far too late to speak to him, let alone see him off to bed. Oh well, you’ll just stay here until dawn comes–but it’s hard to sleep, you shiver.
Then, you hear a shuffle, sometimes more like a couple mice scurrying across the floor, but as it grows louder and louder, it is unmistakably human footsteps–heavy and dense as they draw closer towards you. This doesn’t worry you, the worst they’ll do is kick you out–but hopefully they would extend their hospitality to you and offer you a spare guest room.
You see a head of black hair whisk by past you, the person pauses and steps back when he sees your head just a little visible over the pillow–his eyebrows furrow.
“Jamil!” You said, loudly, loud enough to make Jamil wince and look around out of panic, he wouldn’t want anybody hearing the two of you at night (although, most of the dorm knows already). Your eyes light up.
“What did I tell you about sneaking in?” He asks in a hushed tone–or more accurately, scolds you, “and in this weather, it’s freezing..”
“Oh, who cares?” You cling onto him. He sighs, a thorn by his side, you were–but he won’t be getting rid of you anytime soon, “you can just warm me up, yeah?”
He rolls his eyes at your remark and starts to walk back to his room, your arm slung over his shoulder when you follow him. No one is here to embarrass him, but he still feels his face getting warmer with every moment he spends with you.
“Just.. don’t pull this stunt again.”
“I won’t.” your lips curl into a cheeky grin, you definitely will do it again.
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zorra-za · 2 months
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Goth blossoms + a goth berserk and brick
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Combining my own style with blossom cus I'm the blossom of my trio
Hopefully I'll do bubbles and buttercup too but gd 6 ppl are a lot of work to draw
Also I used racketballz 's brick design so here's his matching blossom
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Ugh ms ballz I love ur character design sm
No idea why Tumblr killed the hell out of the quality :(
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valyrou · 2 years
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Star Wars characters love language
Authors note: Hi!! I‘m new to Tumblr so idk if what I’m doing is correct? I assume this is a blog everyone can see an Re-Blog? (Wich I’m ok with) I’m terribly sorry if anyone did this already but I just had this idea while writing something else lol
Features: Anakin Skywalker, Obi wan Kenobi and Din Djarin
Tw: Bad gramma, Y/n has they/them pronouns and it’s not described how they look like (Idk if I should have written this somewhere else but it might trigger some people so..) Mention of sickness and injuries
ALSO MASSIVE TRIGGER WARNING BC I GOT REALLY TIRED AND LAZY AT THE END SO I‘M SO SO SORRY FOR THIS
(Requests are currently open <3)
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Anakin Skywalker
Physical touch
This man is all about touching. If it’s after a risky mission or an argument with his master, he just wants to be held tight and forget about the constant stress and responsibility that he has laying on his shoulders.
Anakin came rushing to his chambers after he got patched up in the med bay. He was sent on a mission to collect information from some spy guy that was lurking on some ship, turns out it was all plotted to kill whoever came to collect said information. His steps slowed down and came to a full stop when he stood Infront of his door, wich would led him into his home. His heart started beating faster when he felt the familiar presents in his chambers, waiting for him to come in.
The door slid open and revealed his loved one waiting impatiently just mere meters away from him. Anakins tensed shoulders relaxed as he rushed to their side to embrace them. He gently pulled them against his aching body while pressing soft kisses on top of their head „Welcome home Ani“ your delicate voice bought butterflies to his stomach „I‘ve missed you my love“ his voice not more than a whisper to your ear. Anakin let go of his S/O and cupped their face with his hands while staring into their eyes like he hasn’t seen them in years. He caressed their face and gently gently pressed his lips to theirs. Finally he could hold them Ingos Arms again.
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Obi wan
Quality time
We all know Obi wan. He is caring and kind, but also keen to the Jedi order. In order to not stand out on your relation ship, spending time together is the perfect thing especially if your a Jedi too! He would enjoy your company and eventually sneak a kiss here and there (ahh omggg)
It was a late sunny day that y/n and Kenobi decided to take a walk together in a more relaxed part of the city. Occasionally people would walk by and greet the two Jedi politely while the two of them would greet back. Obi wan took his beloved behind a building that formed into a platform that showed a beautiful view of the passing suns. Obi took the hands of his partner in his much bigger ones „I wish I could show you how much I love you Obi“ Kenobis face softened and gently squeezed their hands „Your time is enough to show me how much you care for me love“ he pressed a kiss on their forehead as the sun slowly disappeared behind the horizon.
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Din Djarin
Act of service
Throughout the whole series there where acts of services so you can’t tell me that he wouldn’t shower his S/O in exactly that??? He is such a sweet man (Ugh I’m obsessed with Pedro pascal but that’s another story..) he would appreciate acts of service but would most likely do them himself for you
The Mandalorian Heard a Loud sneeze coming from not so far away in his ship. It didn’t startle him, it worried him. It was the sixth time he had heard it, so the next time another sneeze was heard,he chose the first planet he was the closest to and landed there. When the ship stood still on the chosen planet he stood up and walked to his obvious sick partner „Din.? Why did we land?“ the raspy voice of his loved one worried him even more then the sneezing. His gloved hand reached to their forehead before sighing„You‘re burning up! As long as this is, we will not continue our journey“ his voice sounded serious tho his face expressed pure worry, but that view was cut off since he wore his signature mandolorian helmet „But Mando we have to get the kid to its kind!“ the sickling protested. A heavy sigh was heard and the mandolorian shook his head, while he gently pushed his partner into bed „Just let me do this for you..“ he pleaded. No one could resist that genuine plead coming from this man so y/n had no other choice than to give up and relax in the small bed.
Even the green baby came to the side of the bed and patted the sick ones hand „You stay here too, while I look for medicine“ he said demanding to the kid that made brabble noises that seemed like a form of him understanding. The bounty hunter left the ship and looked for a small village that would help him with his problem. Meanwhile y/n had slipped into a deep sleep and only woke up when they felt a wet cloth on their head „Mornin sunshine..“ the masked man greeted „You didn’t need to do all this for me“ they said with a soft smile on their face. Din caressed their face and shook his head „You are worth the trouble Cyar’ika“ he said softly
Ily all thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed lol
Re-blogs are allowed <3
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metalikkblog · 6 months
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I share my driving
I really like driving through these kind of roads at this time of the year, it's even more fun when there are a lot of leaves on the road, it looks really nice then
Also don't worry, it's not supposed to have sound
Tumblr killed the quality, ugh
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undead-rui-official · 5 months
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Mortals fear me, the Gods abandoned me.
// well. undead-technically-still-dead rui rp blog.
rui uses he/they, as does the mod.
ruis is- was?- transmasc. also has autism. bisexual if that matters.
also was in like his early 20s when he died so yk. take that how you will
hes like. a weird fallen/banished from eternity ghost guy love that for him.
He cannot rest peacefully.
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uh. he looks like a combination of ^these cards (tumblr mightve murdered the quality ugh) except where his heart is there's a massive rip caused by the blade/weapon that killed him. there's splatters of blood & some on his cheek. also you can see his heart.
ic: rui: from beyond the grave
ic: prince: 'the prince speaks'
ooc: the writers gift
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dissociativecrow · 2 years
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8, 18, 36 >:) and 37
8. What was the discovery process like for you?
Oh my god it was HELL.
So, back in high school one of our mutuals was part of a median system. And we looked that up and were like "hey that sounds kinda like me" and then someone promptly was like "no it doesn't, that's just stupid Tumblr cringe shit" and then we forgot about it.
Come 2016-2017, we had an experience where one of us tried to take over the body and kill us, and then another stepped in to abort the attempt at the last moment, while the host was just sitting there like "wtf". Made a weird little AMV inspired by it and then forgot about that.
Finally in 2018 we moved out of our parents' house and started getting really into Hulk comics, and started researching DID to write Bruce more accurately. Here's about how that went down:
"Wait, this isn't NORMAL? Holy fuck I might have a dissociative disorder"
"No you don't. DID isn't even real, it's a sociocognitive phenomenon. This is just another OCD obsession for you."
"But it IS real! All these other people have it! And this explains so much about the past 6 years -"
"God you're such a cringe faker, I can't believe you'd fake a mental illness like this"
"this is so gay lmao you guys are gay"
"Shut up"
"Well YOU GUYS might have DID but *I* sure don't!"
Repeat for like, six months. And then we decided to get therapy for it and it took us another like, four months to open up about plurality and we worked out a whole bunch of shit and... Yadda yadda yadda.
18. Do you have introjects? If so, where do they come from?
G and Edmund are technically Narnia introjects, but they're so far removed from their source that that's basically meaningless.
Birdy is (cringe) an introject of a YouTuber we used to be obsessed with during a really rough time in our life. Like, straight up thought he WAS the dude for a while.
Prof is an introject of Professor Hulk, but he's been dormant for a while.
We also had (have? Idk) an introject of a certain asshole talk radio show host from our childhood, but he hasn't bothered us as much since we came out. Boy that guy was a dick.
36. Name your favorite quality of all the members you can think of! Including yourself! ;)
EVIL. But fine.
G - This one's easy. Their patience and love for all of us, how they're so endlessly willing to work with us, no matter how shitty the individual in question is. I could never lmao.
Birdy - Love this guy's adventurous streak, even if we fight about it sometimes. He just wants to see the world and that's really cool of him.
AP - This is a hard one but I really do admire how passionate he is about his beliefs and human rights and shit. Even if he is a huge dick about it. Ugh I knooooow I'm supposed to be being nice but he's just so - GAH FINE I'LL SHUT UP
Zachary - Well this one is fucking hard because he's an asshole. I guess... He's like a loose cannon that gets pissed off about everything under the sun but... He's right every now and then? Letting myself listen to him sometimes allows me to stand up for myself and asset boundaries, which is normally really hard for me. Still never letting this guy talk though. Ugh.
Me - I like my art! I think I'm pretty good at it. And I like my compassion for other people... That's all I got right now, I think.
37. What’s the most awkward experience you can have that you attribute to plurality?
I actually can't think of anything right now, sorry 😭 Plurality as a whole is an awkward experience for me. I hate talking about it with non-plural friends, I hate people knowing about it outside this weird little corner of the internet, etc etc.
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falsebooles123 · 2 years
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Diary of a Horror Buff 8.29.22
Ugh bitches I just got a new car. well new to me. I am filled with an absense of emotion. Do you ever look at your life and you don't really feel excited for anything just anxious about the new stress that it will introduce to yourself???? maybe theres something wrong with me?
well fuck that heres some gifs of music cars.
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it turns out that I can't think off of a lot of pop songs about driving cars that are also a metaphor for fucking.
anyway fuck this lets talk about what I watched last night.
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Dressed to Kill (1980) dir. Brian de Palma
OK so I didn't HATE this.
but lets be honest it is problamatic.
so dressed to kill is one of those thrillers that came out were woopsie doodle the serial killer just so happens to be trans, (and/or suffering form DoD, they get conflated, (and patholigized), a lot).
So unlike say Silence of the Lambs this one focuses a lot less on the whole tranvestite serial killer bit and is just more about following around a hooker who witnessed the first murder.
also this movie is super fucking horny. It literally starts with a woman fingering herself in a shower, For me it says hey titties in case anyone forgot what they look like. To be honest there is a very deliberate conflation between sexuality and violence in this film thats not subtle. Also a lot of repressed women sexuality but luckily that one chick gets DICKED DOWN before she gets brutally murdered.
This is a giallo-lite thriller with lots of titties, violence, and honestly a lot of stuff that did not age well. So now you know.
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Midnight Snack (2014) dir. David Romero
ok so apparently David Romero is on Tumblr. Badass.
So first can I just say that I love everything about this. The protaganist, the classic style ghost story, his animation style. Like he did a 3d modeled set that he hand animated over I mean who doesn't fucking love that. Mother fucking icon.
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The Clockwork Elves (2020) dir. Nick Cross
"[[Content warning:: Contains flashing imagery, cartoon violence & sexuality]]
The Clockwork Elves could be a pyschotropic exploration of spirituality and death - or it could be a tale of a little goofball hopped up on goofballs. Either way - it's a cartoon."
Ok this was an absolute fucking bop, imagine over the garden wall, ( I've never actually seen OTGW, my ex boyfriend and my desire to do mouth stuff was greater then watching quality television). but set to an acid trap song and trippy visuals.
congradulations this is like a beginners friendly episode of Midnight Gospel.
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ok did anyone ever finish that show, I tried watching it but my brain literally melted.
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ok I still feel bad for not watching it but in my defense my ex boyfriend was really hot.
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LÍNEA 17 (2021) dir. Diego García Figueroa
oh I love a good subway horror. I mean one of these days I'll watch midnight meat train.
So this is a short film anout a young woman in latin america who is riding the subway when the lights flicker and some creepy monster starts stalking her.
this was definetly a great little short film and I had a lovely time watching it.
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Undress Me ALTER (2017) dir. Amelia Moses
Content Warning: Gore, Blood, Self-Harm, Akward Virgin Sex.
We stan an akward queen.
Homegirl is just throwing herself at that dick but like at the same time like relatable like it totally reminds me of the first couple times I've fucked and like its awkward. You either come off to strong, (or like the first time), it takes us watching the entirity of Always Be My Maybe before they kiss me.
I'm just saying if you don't grab my ass by the 34 minute mark I'm doing something wrong.
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this was the only relevent thing that came up when I typed in "Netflix and Chill" which accurate but still.
Ok but actually plot time chick gets that dick and goes and then proceeds to get that pryon disease from Cabin Fever so theres a lot of body horror and gore.
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ok there are not a lot of good clips from that movie on here apparently.
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Limp CRYPT TV (2019) dir. Benjamin Baraad
Honestly fuck the demons thats just how people treat people that have non visuable disabilities.
also I love how this girl is literally dealing with suddenly becoming disabled and her mom is like OMG how did you get a D In math. like fuck your disablities and the things that make you happy.
omfg
"you lied to me alyssa IM JUST HAPPY YOUR FATHER ISN'T ALIVE TO SEE WHAT YOUR'VE BECOME".
WHAT DID SHE BECOME BITCH, SOMEBODY WHOS OVERCOMING STRUGGLES AND UNFAIRNESS IN LIFE. EAT A COOKIE AND CHOKE ON IT.
but also that demon is also kinda a bitch just saying.
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Sinner Circus (2013) dir. Jon Kondelik, James Kondelik
one of my favorite crypt tv shorts.
I will never apoligize for enjoying media in which people get revenge on there abusers.
Also we stan a carnie that speaks entirely in rhymes.
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Occupied CRYPT TV (2015) dir. Mitchell Kerby, Taylor Kerby
"I've been alive 20 years and I still don't know what to do when someone knocks on the door when I'm using it" - that one tweet.
so yeah this is the sotry of a hot guy having to use the bathroom and this rude ghost keeps banging on the stall. Like ghost bruh if you he wanted to cruise he would have sucked your dick by now.
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My House ALTER (2020) dir. Alexander Edep
ok so we love the vibes. surburbia horror vibes and fucked up board game mechanics, whats not to love.
what a lovelingly fucked up movie we stan.
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Carol Anne is Dead (2009) dir. Michael Robinson
ok this is basically a family home movie recreation of Poltergeist, everyones favorite blockbuster horror.
supposedly Michael Robinson "rid[es] the fine lines between humor and terror, nostalgia and contempt, ecstasy and hysteria."
so I assume that this type of strange home video is an intentional post modern interpretation of nostaglia and childhood.
either that or somenbodies random ass home movie just reached cinema status.
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Rapunzel (2018) dir. Hans Stjernswärd
Ok home girl was like sorry I'm just trying to get dicked down and her home girls are OMG but why can't you party with us.
I'm just saying homegirl had perfectly fine prioties.
so as far as I can gather this is a series of films that were meant to be modern horror adaptations of Fairy Tales, with the Little Mermaid being another one of these.
Honestly I'm rooting for these two and will won't to see a feature length movie of this at my next earliest convience.
anyway whores thats all the movies for today. We have two more days of this before the challenge is over.
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techno-foxx-comixx · 2 years
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I know it’s just a glitch that Freddy teleports but I like thinking he can do it on command
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healytkachuk · 3 years
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Calgary flames Twitter
Matthew checks in with our #hockeyfightscancer ambassadors
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terrorpyjamas · 5 years
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soo yeah watch pixielocks on youtube
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linos-teeth · 5 years
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has everyone already giffed this? yes. did i decide to gif it anyway? yes.
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mischiefpaw · 5 years
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finally redid eagle’s ref sheet for the first time since *checks notes* 2017???? jfc
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kunaigirl · 5 years
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Penn poster design for 2019! Much like the one I made for Gary a little while ago, I decided to make a super adorable and happy poster for Penn too! And now that I think about it, I want to make one for every one of my OC’s! Also, this is ironically the first drawing of Penn I’ve done in 2019 too! I had SO MUCH fun coming up with the background and outfit for this one! 🤖🏳️‍🌈
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rockturbot · 6 years
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rivalsforlife · 3 years
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Phoenix Wright: The Truth Reborn: Oh No We’re Doing This Again
hi.
Nearly two months ago, I wrote an essay summarizing and making very wild conclusions about the second Takarazuka Musical. I did this about two and a half years after watching the first Takarazuka musical. As such I did not have the full context for many things from the musical and was relying mostly on my memory, which blocked many things from this musical for my own safety. However, just this week, I decided to rewatch it, because I enjoy tormenting myself. I said I wouldn’t write anything on it. Here I am writing something on it.
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Here’s the youtube thumbnail so that you know what you’re getting yourself into. And here, of course, is the link. This is the HD version which may be slightly more pleasant to watch. Maybe.
It was not quite as cringe in a funny way as the second musical to me, and therefore this essay may be less funny, but I feel like I’m doing a disservice to people by providing a summary of the second musical while completely neglecting the first. Quite possibly doing this is even more of a disservice. I just eagerly await the day that the third musical is translated because *that* will be the day that I finally shuffle off this mortal coil. Either way, I want to write this stuff down so that I never have to watch the musical again out of curiosity.
The following essay will contain major spoilers for both the first and second Phoenix Wright Takarazuka musicals, as I will be using many points from this musical to argue my thesis of the second musical. ... like you were going to watch them anyways. 
This one broke 8k. I’m dead inside.
Introducing The Director
Again another disclaimer that I don’t have anything against the actresses or the theatre troupe. I DO have something against Suzuki Kei, who I recently learned is the writer and director of all three of the Ace Attorney Takarazuka musicals, and is quite possibly my mortal nemesis.
This man is the one who brought this monstrosity into the world.
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This man, allegedly, cleared the first four ace attorney games *seven times* before sitting down to write these musicals. He played these goddamn games seven times and did not take in a single word. The man clicked through them mindlessly while watching a badly written legal romance drama in the background and got them completely confused. I genuinely have no idea how this man could have played these games more times than even me and yet managed to get so many characters (MAYA!!!!) completely and utterly wrong. This haunts me every day, truly.
This man played Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Justice for All, Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney - Trials and Tribulations, and Apollo Justice: Ace Attorney seven times. SEVEN TIMES EACH!! and was told to create a musical based on the series. He played these games seven times each and you know what he said?? You know what he said?? “This sucks, I’m getting rid of all of Phoenix’s backstory, butchering half the characters, and writing Phoenix/Lana fanfiction, but also rewriting all of Lana’s backstory so that she was Phoenix’s childhood friend, and you know what, I’m changing her name for good measure.”
I think this man played the games seven times each and then hated it so much and was so sick of it he tried to write something that destroyed as much of the series as possible while still being vaguely recognizable. And then somehow it became a massive hit because people like me see this and go “what the actual hell” and watch it, or people who haven’t played the games see this and go “wow what a great musical!” and then he wrote TWO MORE, destroying EVEN MORE every time in his wake, until finally, finally, he stopped after making Edgeworth straight and time traveling into the past to face off against a corrupt Gregory. I guess that was the last straw.
I have to issue a disclaimer here that for legal reasons this is a joke. I don’t actually hate this man and would not punch him in the face if I met him because that would be rude, and he is entitled to his wrong interpretation of the games. I don���t know what his thought process was. But allegedly he did play the games seven times according to the wiki. This whole essay here is satire and not slander and I don’t want to offend this guy if he somehow stumbles across my nonsense tumblr post. At the same time: Suzuki Kei blink twice if you need help.
Anyways half the reason that I’m making this essay is because I want to share my fake ao3 page for this musical. The other half will become apparent later.
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Sorry if that’s illegible because of tumblr quality it’s not really important. All you really need to know is that it’s a fake ao3 screenshot for the musical. Also in the author’s note I said he played the games four times but it was actually seven I just remembered wrong because I didn’t want to believe it.
at this point you may be like “Grace shut up and get to the actual musical” and okay, fine, let’s start this nonsense. Also note that I may be referencing things from my essay on the second musical very frequently; I’m not going to force you to go read that though because the fact that you’re reading this is enough of a torment already.
The Musical Begins
Unlike the second musical, this one opens with some narration from Phoenix.
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Transcript:
Phoenix: I’m reviewing a particular case at the moment. To me, this case... is one I’ll never forget.
Immediately I think this is important because it establishes that this whole musical takes place in a flashback that Phoenix is reflecting on. Why is this important? Because we know, by the time of the second musical which takes place three years later, Leona is dead.
Knowing that Leona is inherently doomed to die of her Sad Woman Disease paints this whole musical in a different light. It’s not Phoenix reflecting on how he got back together with his lover; it’s Phoenix dwelling on their past together, and the opportunities they had, before her life was so cruelly and inexplicably taken away. We don’t know if Phoenix’s reminiscing takes place before or after Leona’s death... but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was after.
Phoenix, still in the present, starts to sing. “A wave appears on the horizon like a mirage, it trembles, then vanishes. Your voice, carried upon the waves, fades upon the shore, erasing the splendor of the past.”
This line actually shows up in the second musical, sung by Lucia about her imprisoned fiance quite possibly. It’s kind of hard to tell what the meaning of these songs even are. They’re too abstract for me I think. But this line appears very frequently in the first musical when Phoenix is thinking about Leona.
Then we enter the flashback time.
Phoenix inexplicably yells at a newspaper saleswoman. This is not relevant to anything whatsoever. Then Larry barges in to the office, looking for Maya. Phoenix describes him as “A real trouble maker, but you just can’t hate the guy”, the latter part of which I think many people would disagree with. 
Well, afterwards, Maya comes in. Phoenix describes her like this while making exaggerated “can you believe this shit” gestures.
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Transcript:
Phoenix: She’s as ditzy as they come. Oh, and about the outfit... Apparently she comes from a family of spirit mediums. Try not to make fun of her, okay?
Suzuki Kei personally has it out for Maya and I can never forgive him for it. Maya in these musicals is here for pure comedic relief but it’s not even comedic because I just get so angry. How can you play the trilogy seven times and think this about her?? The girl who figured out DL-6?? The girl who told Phoenix to sacrifice her life in order to find the truth?? The girl who put on a brave smile in order to try and cheer up her younger cousin even after she saw her own mother murdered right in front of her eyes?? That Maya Fey?? Ditzy as they come??????
Ugh. Moving on.
Maya and Larry run off, leaving Phoenix to watch the American Broadcast.
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Important things to note here are the Godot mug, the little line up of what I think are the messed up little ace attorney figurines beneath the screen, and the fact that while this broadcast is supposedly from and to America the screen is actually not at all showing America. Like literally almost everywhere in the world except North and South America.
The broadcast says that Leona Clyde, age 24, was arrested for murdering the senator Robert Cole! Leona Clyde -- that’s Phoenix’s ex-girlfriend! He runs off to the detention center.
She is not happy to see him.
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Leona: Mr. Wright... I’m not the woman you once knew.
Let’s Play A Matching Game
Sorry for the abundance of screenshots that are going to be throughout this section. Phoenix convinces Leona to let him defend her. Some of the conversation seems... familiar.
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Leona: No one would defend someone who admits to killing a senator. I’m waiting for a court-appointed attorney.
Edgeworth: Every defense attorney I’ve talked to has turned me down.
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Phoenix: In that case, let me defend you.
Game Phoenix: Let me defend you.
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Leona: Don’t be ridiculous!
Edgeworth: Don’t be ridiculous.
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Phoenix: I’ll never accept that you’re a murderer. Let me prove your innocence!
Game Phoenix: Huh? Isn’t it obvious? I’m going to prove that Miles Edgeworth is innocent.
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Leona: I’ve already confessed my guilt.
Gumshoe: He confessed that he did it! In court!
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Leona: It’s foolish to think you can win this case.
Edgeworth: My case is near hopeless, Wright.
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Leona: (in response to phoenix offering to defend her) No you won’t! Don’t ever come here again.
Edgeworth: Look, just go away, and leave me alone!
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Phoenix: You of all people should know. Once I decide to do something, I see it through to the end.
Edgeworth: Once you start on something, you always see it through, don’t you?
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Leona: I never thought that you’d be representing me.
Phoenix: Ah, who could have guessed this day would come?
Edgeworth: Not me.
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Phoenix: You believed in me. You saved me. And this time, I swear... I swear I’ll save you!
Game Phoenix: Edgeworth believed in me, and I believe in him. I’m the only one who knows the real Edgeworth. I’m the only one who can help him.
I could’ve done a few more, but tumblr is already threatening to murder my laptop.
So long story short, Phoenix manages to convince his lover to let him be the defense on the case. Then immediately after swearing to save Leona, he starts singing a song, which I’m not screencapping because this is enough:
“As long as there are people in this world, there’s only one path I will follow! As long as there is love in this world, there’s only one path I will believe in!”
Edgeworth sings this in the second musical after saying that he returned to California because of Phoenix. Phoenix sings it now after swearing to defend Leona. You draw your own conclusions.
And then we finally get the opening credits. Eleven minutes in.
Just Pretend This Is Narumitsu Fanfiction
Following the credits, we see a beautiful beach. Couples (exclusively heterosexual, of course,) dance and embrace in the background for some time, before revealing Phoenix and Leona, in the Even Further Past, before the LSATs or whatever the ace attorney universe’s excuse for law school exams are.
Phoenix establishes his absolute hatred of change, an important characterization moment.
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Phoenix: The view here never changes, huh?
Phoenix reminisces on when they were kids. Leona’s parents were both lawyers (they’re both lawyers) and sometimes they would be like lawyers with her when she was a kid. This inspired her to also become a lawyer after their tragic death of Sickness. They never specify what the sickness is that caused two people who must be relatively young to die while Leona was in her early twenties at the latest. It may be whatever sickness claimed Leona’s life later. Sad Woman Disease. (Sad Man Disease for her father, I guess?)
Phoenix also talks about why he’s becoming a lawyer.
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Phoenix: Watching you chase your dream inspired me to become a lawyer too.
So, it’s not “my childhood friend looked sad in a newspaper” because I guess that makes no sense or is too gay or something. But this is another important piece of Phoenix characterization. His entire life so far has been focused around Leona. They’ve been friends since they were kids, and then Phoenix decided to become a lawyer solely because Leona was becoming a lawyer. Not even to try and get back into contact with her after she moved away or anything; just because he’s so obsessed with her that he wants to have the same career as her, then they can run a Mom & Pop Law Firm or something, years in the future, after years of happy marriage and a few children or like whatever the hell.
Well, there’s a few steps they’ll need to get to that. At this point Phoenix still hasn’t confessed his feelings for Leona. He does so here, on this beach.
Leona tries to protest.
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Leona: But I’m pushy, selfish, and only care about my goals... You’d get fed up with me.
Phoenix: That’s what I’ve always admired about you. That’s who I’ve been chasing all these years. That’s the only person... I love.
Sooo, Phoenix, your type is pushy selfish people who only care about their goals...? In the first, older lower-quality video translation it was “only care about my work”, too. Hm. Things to think about.
They sing a little duet together. Then we go back to present-day of what’s technically still a flashback. Whatever. Murder is happening.
Back To The Murder
So some plot things to establish: Leona is the legal counsel of Governor Miller, who is running for president in the AMERICAN PRESIDENTIAL ELECTION. After the flashback so that Phoenix has some time to change clothes, they show an interview of him talking about the murder.
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Governor Miller: I vow to forge a peaceful country with my own two hands, and to prepare myself for whatever may lie ahead.
Reporters: Through thick and thin, he’s a friend of the people!
The Takarazuka musicals are not very good at hiding their killers.
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Phoenix: Oh yeah... It’s almost time for the presidential election, isn’t it?
NEVER FORGET, WRIGHT. THIS IS AMERICA. LAND OF THE FREE! god what even was that line.
Anyways, we meet Gumshoe, who is incompetent once again. Maya runs around the crime scene, picks up the murder weapon, puts her fingerprints all over everything, moves things around, all while Phoenix is like “lol get a load of the world’s stupidest girl” or whatever. But who cares about that.
It’s time to get to the only valid part of this musical.
Edgeworth’s Gay Little Villain Solo
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You may have seen this one before.
Edgeworth arrives, but not really. It’s like Phoenix heard Edgeworth was prosecuting and immediately entered a dream-like state, where Edgeworth is heralded by the sound of trumpets in Great Revival. He’s played by a different actress than in the other two musicals, since I think she retired in between the six or so months from this musical to the second. She still plays the role well, though, or as well as can be when you’re written in an ace attorney Takarazuka musical.
Shrouded in scarlet solitude... it’s Edgeworth.
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Yes, those are six Edgeworths. Yes, they pick Phoenix up and carry him around and dance with him. Yes, it was probably not meant to be at all homoerotic.
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He sings a song that’s called “My rule”. I only figured this out later, but it’s loosely based on a “catchphrase” of his in the Japanese version - in game 1 he says something along the lines of “All I can do is get every defendant declared guilty! So I make that my policy.” In DD in his dramatic anime introduction before the trial, he says “I intend to question the defendant with all I have. For that is a part of my creed.” “So I make that my policy” and “For that is a part of my creed”, to my understanding, are both translated from the same line, which I think is like, “sore ga watashi no ruru”, “That is my rule.” (If I’m wrong, please correct me.) In this song he sings about how he’ll reduce all criminals to ash and such, basically talks about his game 1 prosecuting strategy as “my rule”. 
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It’s very fun and probably if you want to only watch one number of this musical, it can be this one. It starts about 26:10 in the video I linked.
Once the musical number is done, Phoenix and Edgeworth stare at each other, and the background fades into the courtroom, so court begins. I feel like I should note that Phoenix has not picked up any evidence or talked to any witnesses in this investigation except for Gumshoe, since Maya just moved some things around and then Phoenix had some weird fever dream about Edgeworth which presumably took up the rest of the day.
The Trial, Day 1
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Edgeworth: Consider it a prelude to the poignant Greek tragedy that’s about to unfold.
Maya: The real tragedy’s your pompous attitude!
Those are the only screenshots I took of this trial day. Here’s a summary, though:
The trial starts off with Leona confessing, Phoenix says “no I think she’s innocent”, and since ace attorney doesn’t care about the defendant’s wishes he’s allowed to proceed. For some reason Leona lets him do this without complaint. 
Gumshoe is the first witness, he claims to have caught Leona red-handed at the scene of the crime, standing over the corpse. Phoenix tries to claim that since Gumshoe didn’t see Leona committing the crime, he didn’t actually catch her red-handed, to which Edgeworth responds “What do you think being caught red-handed means?” 
Once Gumshoe is dismissed, Lotta takes the stand. She has a photo of the actual moment of the crime, where Leona is holding a knife in the air in front of the victim. 
The Takarazuka musicals like to do this thing where the image is blurry and zoomed out, but then Phoenix will go “I’VE NOTICED A CONTRADICTION” and it zooms in really far as the resolution increases drastically in order to show you the contradiction that is impossible to spot for yourself, because they don’t want people figuring out the mystery in this musical based off of a video game where you have to solve the mystery yourself. Anyways Phoenix zooms in on this photo and sees that there’s blood on Leona’s hand, presumably before she stabbed the victim. How did it get there?
Edgeworth suggests the victim was stabbed multiple times. Phoenix says the autopsy report contradicts that. Edgeworth, uncharacteristically, does not update it to suit his argument. 
Phoenix concludes that this photo is not showing the moment Leona stabbed the victim, but the moment Leona removed the knife! ... Which somehow casts doubt on her having been the one to stab the victim. Because as everyone knows, anyone wanting to kill someone would never remove a knife, it’s not like they’d bleed out faster that way, or anything.
And this whole contradiction is confusing because presumably if the victim was stabbed and then the knife was removed, they’d know that happened, because then the knife would not be found stuck in the victim’s body, since the victim was only stabbed once. So this shouldn’t be news to the prosecution that someone removed the knife after stabbing. But the investigation was headed by the most incompetent version of Gumshoe ever, so. sure. I guess no one knew.
That at least manages to extend the trial another day.
This Totally Has To Be Illegal
After the trial, Phoenix goes to talk to Governor Miller, aka Mr. Totally The Real Killer. Phoenix asks him why he decided to hire Leona as his legal advisor.
Basically, it’s because her parents were both renowned lawyers. Her father was a Chief Prosecutor, and her mother was a defense attorney. ... a prosecutor and a defense attorney couple... who does that remind us of...
Phoenix points out that just because her parents were good lawyers, it doesn’t mean she’d necessarily be one. Miller says that, sure, but she is actually really talented, and her law school marks were spectacular. Phoenix says “WHY WERE YOU LOOKING AT HER LAW SCHOOL MARKS”, like it’s somehow? suspicious? for a government official hiring legal counsel to look at their law school marks?
Apparently it IS suspicious because Governor Miller freaks out and asks if this is an interrogation. Before Phoenix can press much further, he gets a phone call, and leaves Phoenix alone in a big room.
So naturally Phoenix behaves like a fully grown adult running a law firm.
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If all he did was sit in the chair, lift up a desk lamp, and poke his finger on a pen, that’s one thing. But then he leans over, OPENS THE GOVERNOR’S DESK DRAWER, and finds a knife that’s just sitting there casually. It looks like a butter knife. It’s not anything major. Maybe the dude just wanted to butter his toast?
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I mean I know Phoenix will dig around in stuff whenever in the games, but he has no reason to suspect Governor Miller at all, much less dig through his drawer probably full of confidential government documents to lift up a knife that he thinks is suspicious. It’s not even covered in blood or anything?
Naturally Governor Miller’s assistant comes in just then, and Phoenix puts the knife. in his breast pocket. 
bud. It may look like a butter knife, but putting knives up against your chest is not a great idea. Much less stealing a knife from a governor? 
Well, in his panic, he accidentally knocks over a bunch of books on the desk. The governor’s assistant helps him pick them up, and they find a photo. Look a little familiar?
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The photo has the assistant, the victim Robert Cole, Governor Miller, and the victim’s brother who died in an incident two years ago. He’s the “Neil Marshall” of this musical, and he died in what was essentially the SL-9 incident. Same general premise, except it occurred in the courthouse, and the names are different.
AND FINALLY WE REACH THE END OF ACT 1. They do a musical number here which is a weird sort of mashup of the main opening credits song, Edgeworth’s Villain Solo, and the love duet between Phoenix and Leona. They are all such different songs that it sounds a little weird.
ACT 2, FINALLY
The act begins on a sour note with Maya playing with the knife and showing off her characterization, which is one of the most infuriating Maya characterizations you’ll sometimes see around the fandom by people who don’t like Maya.
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Maya: Let me whip up my special spirit channeler hamburgers!
sigh.
But then we’re saved (?) by the arrival of EDGEWORTH, who is presumably just here to chat. He asks Phoenix if he’s defending Leona in hopes of winning her back, then says to keep out of it, since it’s a very important case and he can’t understand the gravity of it.
Then Phoenix says this.
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Phoenix: Would you be saying that if you were the one on trial? The defendant is in a dark prison, reaching out for hope... Can you imagine the loneliness and sorrow of being ostracized?
CAN YOU IMAGINE IT, EDGEWORTH? CAN YOU IMAGINE IF YOU WERE ON TRIAL AND I WAS THE ONLY ONE WHO WOULD DEFEND YOU AND BELIEVED IN YOUR INNOCENCE??
Edgeworth responds to this by essentially rehashing his speech in Turnabout Sisters about how he needs to find all defendants guilty because he can’t guarantee their innocence and all that. Maya gets upset and leaves so that Phoenix and Edgeworth can talk about their childhood in private.
Phoenix once again complains about how people change since nine years old.
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Phoenix then says that he has something Edgeworth doesn’t: the POWER TO BELIEVE! Then Maya comes in and tries to spike Edgeworth’s coffee, so he leaves.
The Class Trial
Phoenix explains a bit about Edgeworth and his backstory to Maya. Namely, the class trial. Phoenix was accused of stealing lunch money, Edgeworth stood up for him, but instead of Larry, Leona stood up for him. I guess Suzuki Kei thought “oh the class trial, if Leona stood up for him, it would be so romantic, because she’s a woman, and he’s a man”, or something like that. 
Edgeworth wanted to become a Great Lawyer Like His Father! But then he turned cold as ice.
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Phoenix: His father got too deeply involved in a case... and paid for it with his life. Edgeworth saw him murdered. He was never the same again. I bet he couldn’t forgive the criminal.
Yeah I bet he couldn’t ever forgive the person he thought killed his father all these years, Phoenix. I bet he really hates that person, Phoenix. I bet he has nightmares about that person killing his father or something, Phoenix.
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Phoenix: He vanished, then returned without his mercy or compassion. He had become a monster. When he lost his father, he also lost the ability to believe in others.
So like... one of the most chilling things about this musical is that they never actually solve DL-6. This probably roughly takes place 15 years after DL-6, since they were about the same age when the class trial started, and at least Leona is 24 now. The next musical takes place three years from now, and in it, Edgeworth refers to von Karma as his mentor, implying he’s still around and doing things.
So, in addition to everything else going wrong with this musical, DL-6 still happens, but von Karma never frames Edgeworth for it fifteen years later. The statute of limitations runs out, and von Karma forever gets away with his crime. And Edgeworth has no idea.
What changes did they make to DL-6, though, you may ask? I’m desperate to know as well. In the third musical, which I’ve watched because I hate myself but am unable to fully understand because I don’t know much Japanese, there is a scene where Miles flashbacks to DL-6. It’s abstract, but he makes gun-throwing motions at Gregory, followed by a gunshot sound.
Therefore, in this musical’s internal canon, either Miles Edgeworth shot his father, or he believes he did for the rest of his life.
... moving on.
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Phoenix: But he still has his humanity. It’s still there, deep down inside!
At least, if nothing else, Phoenix still believes in him. Even this Takarazuka Musical couldn’t touch that.
The Feenie Sweater
Right after this, Larry barges in, and Phoenix leaves him alone with Maya. The musical tries teasing Larry/Maya, but fortunately, Maya’s having none of it.
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Maya: You’re barking up the wrong tree.
Props to this musical for not being as bad as it could have been.
After this, the two sit down on the couch, and Maya asks for more gossip on Phoenix and Leona. Larry launches into a story, which turns into a flashback that ends up being narrated by Phoenix halfway through. This one’s about Phoenix and Leona’s relationship.
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This is an interesting line in here, “I’ll guide you to the future”, for it loosely referencing the sort of love ballad Phoenix sings with Lucia in the second musical which is about “I’ll take you to that radiant future”, and he later sings to the memory of Leona right around the time of his big spiral into despair.
I’m sorry if you haven’t read my other essay and just said “wait what” to what I just typed.
Leona was getting ready to move to New York to defend the weak “in the big city”. This is rather strange wording because it implies that California does not in fact have a big city. She says some things in her conversation with Phoenix that probably plant some of his later issues.
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Leona: This is the first time we’ll be apart since we were kids.
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Leona: We promised we’d always be together.
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Leona: I’ll be waiting. Waiting for you to come to me.
Haha. Sure would be a shame... if something were to happen... and they wouldn’t be able to be together anymore...
So some dancers wearing black come in and take off their outer jackets, to symbolize the passage of time. They circle around Phoenix and Leona. In this, you can just barely see, Phoenix is wearing a pink sweater beneath his jacket.
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“Oh,” I think to myself, “Is that the Feenie sweater? Are they including it here as a reference to the games?”
Then the dancers keep moving.
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THAT IS NOT THE FEENIE SWEATER. That is a pink sweater with a sexily drawn woman on it.
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This is the other half of the reason why I decided to go through with making this essay. 
This is so incredibly funny to me. Suzuki Kei Who Has Played The Games Seven Times has seen the hand-knit bright pink sweater with a giant red heart on it seven times. The sweater Iris, Phoenix’s girlfriend, lovingly knit for him that he wears all the time even though it is one of the tackiest, cheesiest items of clothing to ever exist. And so, when the costume designers were designing the clothes for College Phoenix Wright, they asked themselves: “Should we include the Feenie sweater?”
and “NO,” someone must have shouted, “NO, we can NOT include the Feenie sweater, it is PINK and it has a HEART on it and it’s TOO GIRLY. Phoenix Wright is a MANLY MAN. He would not EVER wear something PINK with a HEART on it.”
“BUT,” someone else said, “it’s a REFERENCE to the original games, where he DID wear a pink sweater with a heart on it! We MUST include it to pander to the fans!”
“WAIT,” a third person interjected. “I have a BRILLIANT IDEA. We can keep the pink... But to make it VERY CLEAR he is a heterosexual, masculine male... we put a sexy woman on it.”
And Person Three Got A Raise.
Thank god we’re finally halfway done this musical.
We Just Have To Go On With Our Lives Now
There’s plot or something happening. Leona breaks up with Phoenix inexplicably over the phone. Probably because of that freaking sweater. Imagine wearing that. God.
Eventually we go back to Phoenix talking to Leona, and he asks about the Jack Lyon case, which is the rip-off version of the Joe Darke case. Leona is pretty cagey about it, but Phoenix proves that she was there in the gallery that day. Leona refuses to answer, claims again that she killed the victim in her case, and leaves.
This makes Phoenix sad, so he starts singing.
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Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.
If this sounds familiar, it’s the part where I started absolutely losing my mind in the second musical because this line had never shown up before then, I’d forgotten it was in this musical, and Phoenix was screaming it alone in a red room, so I thought he was like desperately resorting to a necromancy ritual in hopes of bringing Leona back to life.
Instead, this line actually has CONTEXT, though it does just end up enforcing my theory. This is Phoenix mourning what he used to have with Leona, wanting to bring the “old her” back, because he’s devastated that people sometimes change. There are several flashbacks of their college days where he’s wearing his Sexy Woman Sweater. He does succeed in winning her back at the end of this musical. Before she dies, of course.
Phoenix in musical 2 still believes that he can bring back what he used to have with Leona... even beyond death. That’s something affirmed by this musical. I’m very grateful to it for somehow managing to enforce my nonsensical theory.
Doctor Ema
After this, Phoenix returns to his office, and meets with someone new.
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That’s right! Only now, halfway through the musical, do we actually get to meet the Ema-equivalent to Leona’s Lana-equivalent. Her name is Monica Clyde. She has little rainbow heart stickers on her briefcase, which is the closest thing this musical has to acknowledging that gay people exist.
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But what does this little briefcase contain, you may ask? Scientific investigation tools? No.
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A full surgical toolset. Because you never know when someone’ll get sick, or when someone will need an entire operation in front of you. I guess.
So yes, Monica Clyde is not a forensic scientist in training, but a doctor! She decided to become a doctor because of her parents, who passed away of The Sickness, and so became a doctor in order to save lives like theirs.
Once more this has much darker and deeper implications than the musical is even aware of, because Monica is so anxious about treating sick people that she carries a full surgical toolset around with her at all times, scared to lose someone like she lost her parents... and then sometime in the next three years, Leona, her big sister, is going to die.
Of what? The strange Sickness that claimed her parents? A car accident? A botched spur-of-the-moment surgery? Whatever it is, Monica was unable to save her, even when she’d been training her entire life for it.
Monica is not mentioned at all throughout the second musical. It’s as if she does not exist.
Because unlike Ema of Rise From The Ashes, Monica is not at the heart of this story. She is, primarily, a plot device here to make Leona not trust Phoenix so that he can angst about their relationship. 
What a mess this world is.
The Trial, Part 2
Rather than try to prove Leona’s innocence, Phoenix wants to link the current case to not-SL-9, the Jack Lyon case. He does this by showing this picture.
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Senator Cole, the victim, is in this picture. His younger brother whose name I’ve forgotten, the victim of not-SL-9, is also in this picture. They are brothers. It is apparently novel that they are in the same picture, and somehow makes their cases linked.
As well, Governor Miller is in the picture. I guess you could say like... Governor Miller’s legal counsel is the defendant, so that’s another link? Even though the Governor would presumably know a Senator, so this isn’t an unusual group. Right now Phoenix has absolutely nothing to prove that these two cases are linked other than “hey, these two victims are brothers”, but apparently it works. So they spend a lot of time talking about not-SL-9, since Leona has confessed to the murder on day 1 and there is absolutely nothing indicating that she can’t be immediately declared guilty.
They hid the fact that Monica was a hostage in this not-SL-9, meaning that some of the case records were forged. Here’s Edgeworth’s reaction when this comes out.
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Edgeworth: This is an outrage! I’m the most influential prosecutor in America! There’s nothing I don’t know!
In RFTA, when Edgeworth learns he’d been using forged evidence to give a man the death penalty, he is devastated, his entire worldview is shaken, he sees himself as a monster who could end up becoming horribly corrupt if he isn’t stopped.
Musical Edgeworth goes “I DIDN’T KNOW SOMETHING???”
It’s certainly strange characterization, but I guess Edgeworth is further behind in his character arc than in RFTA, so... ugh. Fine. 
Phoenix calls Monica out as a witness to prove she was involved in the case. This causes Leona to panic, and try to dismiss Phoenix as her attorney, like Lana in RFTA, but Edgeworth interjects to call Monica in anyways. He and Phoenix have a little moment.
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Edgeworth: You said to believe in others. I suppose I’ll try believing in you. Try to keep up.
Phoenix: Edgeworth!
So Monica comes to the stand to testify. We get to see this picture of Monica being held hostage, and not-Joe-Darke’s incredible eyeliner.
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Lots of it is very similar to the actual RFTA, except instead of the victim being stabbed on the knight with the giant knife, he’s instead stabbed with a regular old knife. Leona still refuses to admit to what really happened, until Edgeworth convinces her to believe in Phoenix.
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Edgeworth: Your attorney is a runaway train with a one-track mind. Yet he placed all of his faith in you. Believe in him. You owe him that much.
Leona testifies, and says that when she found the victim, he was stabbed with a scalpel.
Here is where things get weird.
Scalpels Can’t Kill People
So basically earlier in this trial, they talk about how Leona knew that the knife that stabbed the victim was double-edged despite being buried in his chest. The judge questions if this means Leona killed him, but Phoenix is quick to say no, she was searched when she entered the courthouse and couldn’t have concealed a knife.
Yet, Monica was able to bring in her surgical toolkit which contains several sharp knives, scalpels, scissors, etc.
This is the first major contradiction.
Leona continues to say that when she found Monica, and the scalpel stabbed in the victim, she also ran into Governor Miller, who if you haven’t been able to tell yet is the Gant-equivalent of this musical. He offered to help her with the cover-up, etc.
The next bit goes a lot like RFTA. Phoenix accuses Governor Miller, who barges in, says Phoenix has the decisive evidence in his pocket. This is the “butter knife” that Phoenix took from his office when he dug around in confidential documents and stole it for no particular reason. It has Monica’s fingerprints on it! ... And Phoenix’s and Maya’s too probably because they were handling it without gloves, but they don’t mention that part.
Leona cries about how she shouldn’t have trusted Phoenix because he was apparently now blaming Monica, Monica looks terrified, she and Leona have some good sister moments but it’s not as good as it could be if the story was actually about Leona and Monica like how RFTA was about Lana and Ema. But Phoenix has the decisive piece of evidence that can turn this around.
It is this:
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Phoenix: Scalpels are made for medical incisions, not stabbings. So how did it stab the victim?
...
...
...
... What?
So like. Yes, scalpels are made for medical incisions. Medical incisions often involve cutting through flesh, very easily. As a result, they are sharp. Extremely sharp. As in: their purpose is literally to stab people, very specifically.
Yes, they’re easier to control, so that surgeons don’t regularly stab people how they’re not supposed to be stabbed, but it’s not like, impossible to stab someone in a killing way with a scalpel? Admittedly, I have never tried to kill someone using a scalpel. And I do not have experience using a scalpel for surgeries because I am not a surgeon. But I’m pretty sure, if you take a sharp scalpel, and you stab someone in the chest with it with a reasonable amount of force... they die.
Like, is this a particular kind of scalpel that is not very sharp? Is the problem that the blade doesn’t match up with the initial wound? But even then, we don’t have the original unforged autopsy report or even a picture, so how would Phoenix know what the original wound looked like to say it didn’t match up? And even then why wouldn’t Phoenix say that instead of SCALPELS CAN’T STAB PEOPLE???
This is his decisive contradiction and it makes ABSOLUTELY NO SENSE TO ME!!!
Well Darn I Guess Scalpels Can’t Kill People
This is such a decisive piece of evidence, that scalpels can’t kill people, coming from the man who thought “caught red-handed” does not involve being caught standing over a corpse with blood on your hands, that it causes Governor Miller to confess.
Unlike Gant, who created the murder with Neil Marshall both to ensure that there was decisive evidence to convict Joe Darke, a serial killer who had not left any decisive evidence behind, and gain control over the prosecutor’s office in order to pull similar stunts to get criminals convicted using false evidence, Governor Miller does not have that as his motive. After all, he’s not a police officer. Instead, he ended up accidentally killing not-Joe-Darke, and then set up the incident in order to get Leona on his side. As her parents were both influential lawyers and very respectable, having her and her parents’ reputation on his side could help him become President of America Where This Takes Place.
So, let’s just take a moment to run over some of the things that made the original Rise From The Ashes great, in my opinion. Just for fun.
1 - The heart of the story between the Skye sisters. Lana closing off to protect Ema, Ema wanting to get through to her sister and get back to the way things used to be. Phoenix, in this story, is more of a bystander to this plotline rather than in the heart of it himself.
2 - Edgeworth’s Character Development. Basically RFTA creates an interesting transition between Turnabout Goodbyes and JFA. It causes Edgeworth to re-evaluate everything he knows about being a prosecutor. So quickly on the heels of Turnabout Goodbyes, it crushes the last bit of hope in him. It compares him to Gant, who also hates criminals, and forces him to wonder if his hatred of crime will one day lead to him being a criminal himself. He’s already convicted one person on forged evidence; how many others could there be?
3 - The Ends Justify The Means. ... wait come back, don’t leave. What I found neat about this case was also Gant’s motive. At one point he was presumably an honest person who hated crime and wanted to stop criminals. But over time in the police force, he became corrupted. He wanted to have all criminals convicted. So what do you do when you don’t have the evidence to convict them? Joe Darke was a serial killer who has killed several people and may have killed more if he’d gone free. The only way to stop and convict him was by using forged evidence. Other criminals could hide evidence to get away with their crimes, so people like Gant would make it up to catch them; but then when do you stop? What happens if there’s no evidence because someone is truly innocent? When does the line between “this person is a criminal and I want to stop them” and “I just want to convict everyone I’m dealing with” become blurred? This is also something he shares with Edgeworth and helps to advance his character.
All three of these things are either lessened or outright ignored in this musical. Leona and Monica’s story takes a backseat to Phoenix and Leona’s Love Story, with Monica only showing up halfway through, and mainly as an excuse as to why Leona is withdrawn. Edgeworth doesn’t seem to blame himself for the forged evidence he used, and doesn’t have a crisis questioning his morality over it. And Governor Miller’s motive is purely power. Unlike Gant, who would have become Chief of Police whether he solved SL-9 or not, Miller needed Leona to win the presidency. And instead of asking her to help him with his campaign like a normal person, he just blackmailed her instead.
... How do you play the games seven times and miss this much?
The Case Finally Ends
god. we’re almost there.
The case ends, Leona is declared not guilty but will still face trial for covering up murders and such. Probably less of a sentence than Lana because she was not involved in ongoing police corruption? Either way she’s dead in three years, so she’s got something a bit more concerning coming up.
She’s led away. Phoenix sings a bit about Leona before being interrupted by Edgeworth... who has something important to tell him.
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Edgeworth: You awakened within me those once-cherished emotions I had discarded. I see visions of a distant, nostalgic past.
So basically this is the unnecessary feelings of the musical. Something along the lines of “seeing you again and fighting for my former ideals is making me question many things about myself.”
How does Phoenix respond?
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Phoenix: Edgeworth... Try talking normally for a chance.
Sure, we were all thinking it, but that’s a little cold, Phoenix.
Edgeworth tries a smooth recovery.
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Edgeworth: I don’t do... idle chit-chat.
This doesn’t accomplish much. So he leaves to allow Leona to visit with Phoenix alone. He’s got to go change for something more important coming up.
Leona and Phoenix decide that they’re going to get back together once Leona is done her sentence! They make a promise that is very funny if you know she’ll be dead in three years.
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Phoenix: I’ll be waiting. For you.
There are a lot of hugs here, I’m not screencapping them all. There are also several moments where their faces get very close together and like, their nose brushes the other’s cheek or something, but they never actually kiss. Is it because the actresses weren’t comfortable with it (valid), or they thought kissing would be too much for the musical (sure, whatever), or since both characters are played by women the show staff did not want two women kissing on stage (probably the real answer)? I don’t like watching kisses, but I kept bracing myself for one and then it never happened, so.
Phoenix ends the main part of the musical with one last musical number starring my personal favourite piece:
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Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.
I like to think that at this point, this is present-day Phoenix, after finishing his reminiscing, still desperately wishing he could bring Leona back from death.
But alas, he cannot. And so, after one last daydream of them dancing together on the beaches of California, singing about their love, the musical ends.
Dance Time!
This starts at exactly the two hour mark, if you’re interested in watching what is, once again, one of the only fun parts of this musical.
Seriously, Edgeworth’s actress kills it here, when I first saw this I went “oh, this is why I saw so many people being gay for her on twitter.”
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Edgeworth’s song is an encore of “My Rule”, so it’s lots of fun. Afterwards Phoenix gets another fun piece.
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Then we get to the love ballad part, which I can probably overanalyze, I feel like I haven’t done enough ridiculous over-analyzing in this essay in comparison to the other.
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Uhhh so the fog represents how Phoenix feels lost in this world without Leona. You can see it in the second screenshot separating the two of them, representing the barrier of death between the two of them. Idk it’s midnight I’m getting worn out from having to think about this musical for so long.
But his mourning over Leona’s death becomes even more apparent in the credits, where Phoenix sings that one line again:
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Phoenix: I want to bring you back! I believe in you.
I’m not fixing that screenshot, I think it’s oddly fitting, in a way. That’s me right now.
Then at the very end, he sings this song.
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Phoenix: I’ll spend... this eternal life... soaring through... the heavens!
Technically, this refers to his name Phoenix, but let’s dig a little deeper. He spends the rest of his life soaring through the heavens... the heavens that Leona went to after her untimely death, perhaps?
Overall, the musical becomes much more interesting when you just see it as a prequel to the second musical. This musical establishes many core concepts of Phoenix’s character: his refusal to believe in the concept of things changing, for one, and also his extreme dependency on Leona who he was never separated from since they were kids and where he based his entire life around her dreams and ideals. All he can think about is her. And in the end, he promises to wait for her in California.
Yet, to paraphrase Miles Edgeworth, all that is waiting for him is her death. Their dream of opening up a Mom & Pop Law Firm will never come true.
Thanks again for bearing with me even though this wasn’t as funny!
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