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yonpote · 3 months

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re: dnp onscreen "personas" lol. i mean yall know what i mean by that but i feel like explaining it anyway just to be thorough. this is related to what ive been calling The Shift.

2011-2012 was around the time where the barrier between real dnp and the people they played was starting to be fortified. and like, part of it is just, with phils channel once he wanted it to be less video journal-y and more weird experimental short films, he still wanted to entertain people while talking abt his life, so maybe he would stretch a tale a bit or act a bit peppier than he is irl. and with dan, he had concepts literally from the start of what to do with his channel, and how it was inspired by a lot of sketch comedy based channels like communitychannel and [REDACTED]. so its not like it wasnt somewhat personas from the start, but 2012 was when it was cemented, and once they became known for being a duo it was just further self-flanderization. a Phanderization even. like intentionally playing into the ornery guy who makes bad puns and the happy go lucky guy who accidentally says innuendos. real tsukkomi and boke moment.

ok im gonna elaborate on why tatinof was a fanfic now :) this is the PEAK of phanderization, to me it's not a surprise that the cracks in the egg PERSONAS were starting to show bc they were just Fully In Character for like a year or so straight. in tatinof, the serious bitter eye-rolling "ugh dont do a song and dance" guy was dan (The Straight Man) (dont laugh thats just what its called) so of course his counterpart was the silly happy just having fun "i wanna burst into song!" guy was phil (The Fool). but when you watch their making of doc, dan says that HE'S the one who wanted to do the song and dance. if youre an Enthusiast abt dnp, you mightve already known that dan was a huge theater kid and loves the book of mormon n shit. phil likes theater too, but dan LOVES IT like not just watching but Performing. BUT to a regular degular in 2015 just casually watching or a huge fan but hasnt watched every liveshow ever or a phannie who just really believes in the Phanon, this may come as a surprise. phil is the happy silly ball of sunshine right? like ok. these aspects of their personality (dans bitterness and phil's positivity) aren't exactly LIES. but like obviously theyre just humans. this is what Interactive Introverts was TRYING to comment on, but imo i think fell short of its attempt bc in the end they were still trapped in their personas for the sake of Giving The People What They Want

ok i kinda tangented so back to the personas, it's not as if today they are Fully Raw And Real with us on screen, that's just kinda inherently never gonna happen, there will always be shit we don't know about them bc like. it's still a screen. BUT now that they are more real with us, we kinda see the energy of the olden days back, ofc less MegaRandomHyper and more gay millennial waffling. but it's them! cuz they really are so similar to the personas, but there's always an underlying layer of This Is A Bit. when dan's annoyed at phil for something we know he's not genuinely angry ESPECIALLY when we see that phil does it on purpose to rile him up. i think something strange is that, it's not like during 2012-2018 we didnt see stuff like this, dan's always been silly and phil's always been sarcastic, but bc so many people had bought into the Personas of danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil, that ended up being cemented into fic.

ok i wanna ramble on more but maybe ill make a new post lmao

#oh i thought i posted this but it was just sitting on my ipad #myrambles #the shift

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phanfictioncatalogue · 10 months

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Holidays (3) Masterlist

part one, part two

24:00 (ao3) - Cyane (orphan_account)

Summary: Phil makes a split-second decision to kiss Dan at midnight.

He doesn't realize that Dan is livestreaming on his phone with half a million fans.

Blush (ao3) - howelllesters

Summary: Dan had agreed to join his best friend Cat and her niece on an Easter Egg Hunt, and that was it. He barely remembered agreeing to that. And yet here he was, face painted pink, holding a tiny chick that Mr Bunny Ears himself had passed to him. Easter fluff.

Boom (ao3) - soft_lester

Summary: Phil’s idea of a fun New Year’s goes wrong and Dan wants no part of it.

Christmas Comes Early (ao3) - Spring_Haze

Summary: Dan and Phil are a new couple who are ready for sex. Both men are eager to be closer, though Dan fears that he will not be able to last long enough to get to that pivotal moment. Phil reassures his young lover, and the couple celebrates Christmas early in the most memorable way.

Conversation Hearts (ao3) - Emptylester (timelordangel)

Summary: Terrified that he prevented Dan from having the experience of other sexual partners in his adult life, Phil suggests that this Valentine's day in lieu of presents they each get a freebie. There is no way this can go wrong, right?

Easter Surprises (ao3) - pasteldanhowells

Summary: Louise has invited Dan and Phil to an Easter Egg Hunt event that she takes Darcy to every year. Phil is unsure of why they agreed to go to this, but Dan seems excited about it, so he ultimately agrees to go. While at the event, surrounded by kids, Dan has a sudden realization that surprises Phil.

fireworks (ao3) - calvinahobbes

Summary: Twelve years of New Year’s Eves - or, the first and the most recent.

Glass Depth Mood (ao3) - worriedpeach (skeletonflowers)

Summary: 'I don't know you but we're wearing matching costumes at this Halloween party and your ass looks amazing in that costume'

hearts like ours (ao3) - kay_okay

Summary: “Sorry… what?” Phil replies, dumbfounded, shocked, void of all intellect.

“I said I’m in love with you. Actually, I said I think I’m in love with you, which isn’t true. I mean, I am. I know I am, I don’t know why I said I think.”

he's his mother's son after all (ao3) - watergator (orphan_account)

Summary: dan visits phil's family on mother's day whilst feeling depressed

i'm cold, come closer. (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: "Dan," Phil pleaded. “It’s just for Christmas. Please, I can’t remember the last time she’s sounded so happy.”

Despite everything, Dan found himself agreeing to it.

Interrupted By Fireworks (ao3) - interruptedbyfjreworks

Summary: Dan and Phil watch the fireworks while in America on the Fourth of July.

kitchen counter (ao3) - ordanary

Summary: Phil asks Dan to come up north with him for Christmas, some realizations are made in the kitchen, and now Nigel owes Kath twenty pounds.

made for you and me (ao3) - queerofcups

Summary: "The question is how do we come out on Valentine’s Day in the least obnoxious way possible?"

Dan and Phil make a video. Phil makes a video. Things get better.

maybe they're seeing something we don't, darling (ao3) - phantasizeit

Summary: When Phil invites Dan to the Lester family Christmas, Kath can only assume that they’ve have finally gotten together. Dan and Phil don’t realize Kath’s misunderstanding until it’s a little too late. But, how hard can it be to fake a relationship between them? (AKA: The fic where Dan and Phil are already dating, but have to be put in a fake relationship situation to realize it. Also, they do fluffy Christmas things with the Lesters.)

Right Where We Are (ao3) - thatsmistertoyou

Summary: Dan’s feeling lonely between Christmas and New Year’s Eve, so Phil invites him to stay with his family for a few days.

Sharp Teeth (ao3) - theshyauthor

Summary: AmazingPhil is a Youtuber and a vampire and according to Dan Howell, he is the nicest person to exist. From their first meeting in 2009 all the way to that one incident in the elevator at the BBC, this is their story.

Thankful For a Second Chance (ao3) - thatsthephan

Summary: A Thanksgiving fic in which Dan spends Thanksgiving with Phil’s family, and they both realize the things they’re really thankful for in life. And not just tastebuds and the ability to cook.

theia mania (ao3) - hamartiawrites

Summary: Valentines' Day is coming up, and there are two teachers that the school wants to see together more than anything.

Watchful (ao3) - cafephan

Summary: Phil is part of one of the world’s most famous paranormal investigator groups, along with his friends Joe, Zoe and Louise. The never before investigated Harrowick Penitentiary catches the group’s attention, and they settle in the town for a week long investigation. Most importantly, they hope to make contact with one spirit in particular, Dan Howell, who was falsely imprisoned for a crime he didn’t commit, and was murdered in the building. When Dan becomes attached to Phil, things become a lot more complicated.

When the Weather Breaks (ao3) - sierraadeux

Summary: Sitting across from Phil on that worn out velvet Starbucks sofa, sharing sickeningly sweet coffees and what they would like to think were hushed giggles, was the first time Dan felt a glimpse at what real love could feel like. or Perception checks, pining, and peppermint mochas.

Your Forever Is All That I Need (ao3) - softsocks (orphan_account)

Summary: Five times Phil attempts to surprise Dan, and one time he succeeds.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfiction #phanfic #phan #masterlists #holiday #holiday masterlist

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glitterrhowell · 5 years

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Chapter 6

Title: Colors in Disguise

Pairing: Daniel Howell & AmazingPhil (Phan

Word count: 1000 words

Warning/Genre: eating disorder / food addiction / implied self harm / Anorexia /BED/ Binge Eating Disorder

Summary: Dan Howell has struggled with Binge Eating Disorder and food addiction his entire life but after he met Phil, he went into remission. After several years, Dan relapses and he slowly starts spiraling out of control yet again. Will he be able to get the help he needs, or will he fall victim to its vicious cycle?

Read on Ao3

Read on Wattpad

Previous chapter / Next chapter

Chapter Master list

Dan had been keeping good on his promise to himself he hadn’t been eating as much and he had gotten a handle on his snacking in general. In fact, he didn’t eat much these days. He spent most of his time in bed sleeping. He hadn't posted a video in over three months and with the gaming channel on hiatus people were starting to notice his lack of content but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He’d occasionally tweet something to let everyone know he was still alive but other than that he was pretty silent on the internet. Phil had been a saint taking care of him and taking care of their business stuff, he’d taken on the full workload. He hated doing it to him but he couldn’t help it he was terrified of going out of control again like the weekend he had when Phil had left so he hardly eat but that didn’t mean he didn’t think about food. So to keep his mind off the food he slept. Sleep was the only thing that kept the thoughts away and the only thing recently.

It was one of those rare days he did manage to pull himself out of bed. He made his way to the lounge. Spotting Phil sitting on the sofa he decided to plop down next to him.

“Hi, love!” Phil said turning his attention away from his laptop. “It’s good to see you out of bed.” He said smiling brightly.

It hurt Dan's heart how happy Phil looked.

“Yeah, I’m feeling a little better.” he lied.

“That’s good!”

Phil look so genuinely relieved and happy Dan wonders how long he had been worried about him.

~~~

The next few days Dan tried his hardest to stay out of bed and act as normal as possible. He helped out around the flat cleaning up and they watched some animes together and all and all Dan did enjoy himself but that hungry in the back of his mind was still there.

Dan currently sat in his sofa crease browsing Tumblr on his laptop trying to ignore the constant rumbling of his stomach.

“Hey, I’m going out to meet Martyn and Cornelia for lunch,” Phil said walking into the lounge.

“Oh ok,” he said trying to hide the hurt of not being invited from his voice. But just seconds later his stomach gave a loud grumble and he was now thankful he hadn’t been invited.

“I’ll be home in a few hours alright love,” Phil said planting a kiss on his forehead.

“Alright,” he mumbled.

“Maybe we can have a movie night tonight when I get home?” Phil asked almost hopefully.

Dan perked up at the idea, “Yeah that sounds really nice.”

“Ok then while I’m gone can you answer some of the emails we have? They’ve been piling up and really need answering.“ Phil chuckled.

“Consider it done,” Dan said, with excitement in his voice.

“Alright love you,” Phil said before turning and leaving.

“Love you too,” Dan called after him.

~~~~

After Phil left Dan procrastinated doing what Phil had asked of him but how many emails could there be to answer anyway. So about an hour after Phil left he decided he should probably get to it but first he had to use the bathroom.

When he stood up he felt like he was going to be sick and he would have run for the bathroom if it wasn’t for the fact that he felt extremely dizzy and lightheaded as well. He rocked back and forth on his feet trying to regain his balance and wait for the room to stop spinning but that didn’t happen instead everything just went black.

~~~~~

“Phil, are you sure your alright?” Martyn asked him for probably the tenth time.

“I’m fine I’ve just haven’t been sleeping all that well.” he lied.

Well technically it wasn’t a lie, he hadn’t been sleeping well because he had been worried about Dan. Dan had been sleeping a lot recently and Phil worried he was going through a really bad rough spot. And he didn’t know how to help. The only thing he could do was keep working, so he continued to make videos made sure both their shops had merchandise and all their business stuff was up to date. But he hated to admit it but it had become quite a bit taking all that on himself. It seemed like all he ever did was work and worry about Dan the last few weeks and it was really taking a toll on him, which is why when Martyn had invited him out for lunch he had accepted almost instantly.

“Earth to Phil.”

Phil was snapped out of his thoughts as his brother waved a hand in front of his face.

“Sorry,” he mumbled.

They continued their lunch avoiding the topic altogether.

~~~~~~

The flat was quit when Phil got home, he set his keys down on the counter and walked into the lounge. Dan was curled up on the sofa snoring softly. The sight would have been precious if Phil hadn’t been so concerned with him sleeping so much lately.

“Dan. Dan wake up.” Phil softly shook his shoulder.

“Wat?” he slurred still half asleep.

“You fell asleep on the sofa, come on let's get you to bed.”

Phil helped the younger man up and helped him walk to the bedroom. Phil stripped him of all his clothes except his boxers and put him to bed. He pulled the covers up to Dans chin and bent down giving him a gentle kiss on the cheek before walking out of the dark room.

~~~~~~~~

Dan woke a few hours later he rolled over trying to remember how he had gotten to bed in the first place. But his thoughts were interrupted by a hushed voice coming from the next room. Curious he tiptoed out of the room and down the hall the office where the voice was coming from. The door was shut but inside he could hear Phil talking in a hushed voice.

“I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Silence; he must be on the phone.

“Mum I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

Dan’s heart sank in his chest not staying to hear the rest of the conversation he turned around and left.

Once back in the bedroom he paced back and forth. This was it wasn't it Phil was going to finally leave him. After all these years he’d finally realized what a fuck up he was.

He threw on some clothes and grabbed his keys and left the flat not even stopping to tell Phil he was leaving.

Not even knowing where he was going he just walked he probably walked for hours because by the time he finally stopped it was pitch black outside and hardly anyone on the streets. He looked around; he had no idea where he was.

His he was so weak from hunger that he was surprised when his stomach rumbled,

“Oh fuck off, will you,” he mumbled to himself.

He shivered realizing now that he hadn’t grabbed a jacket before he’d left.

He looked around hoping to find a place he could go in and warm up at when he spotted this small 24-hour diner across the street. Just a coffee he promised himself crossing the street.

The bell chimed when he opened the door and nice older lady behind the counter motioned around and said, “Sit anywhere you like love.”

“Thanks,” he said as he chose a both close to the back of the restaurant.

The restaurant was deserted except for him so it didn’t take more than a minute for the women to come up to him with a menu, “Would you like to hear the specials?”

“No thank you, just coffee please.” he smiled.

He stomach growled embarrassingly loud.

“Are you sure there love?” she chuckled.

What the hell Phil was leaving him anyway. He took the menu from her and ordered the first thing he saw. A burger with a side of chips.

“I’ll be back out with your coffee.” she smiled and took his order back to the chef.

His hands shook with anticipation he hadn’t had any proper food in probably three days.

After about a fifteen minute wait for the waitresses brought over his food and set it down in front of him.

“If you need anything else just let me know dear,” she said walking off.

Dan was literally drooling it looked and smelled so delicious.

The first bit could be described as heavenly, the flow of the juices mixing together in his mouth and all the different flavors were absolutely divine. But after that first bite, he didn’t taste much of anything else as he scarfed down the rest of it in several big bits. Next were the chips, those were harder to eat all at once since there were many but somehow he managed. And before he knew what he was doing he had the waitress back over ordering more food.

He left the diner over two hours later in shame having consumed two more burgers and three pieces of pie all by himself. He had been absolutely horrified when he’d come out of his binge haze. Stuffed to the brim with plates spread out all around him on the table. Luckily the waitress hadn’t said anything to him, she’s made some joke that he must have been hungry but Dan had seen in her eyes that she had been disgusted with him. And who wouldn’t be, who eats that amount of food in one sitting its gross he thought to himself.

Dan was so ashamed and disgusted with himself he couldn’t face going home yet, besides he wasn’t sure if there was going to be anything to go home to. He started walking again slower this time because he was uncomfortably full when he came upon another little restaurant. It was like his brain was going crazy, he wasn’t physically hungry but he craved that feeling he felt when he eats. The way his brain would completely fog over forgetting about all his problems, just the pure happiness it made him feel. Without even second-guessing himself he went into the restaurant.

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musicsavedmylife16 · 3 years

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Dan: “Stop killing Phil in your fan fictions”

Phandom: *kills Phil in fan fiction*

Dan: *kills Phil in fan fiction*

Phil: *kills Phil in fan fiction*

#dan and phil #dnp #daniel howell #phil lester #danisnotonfire #amazingphil #phandom #fan fiction #fanfic #dnp fan fiction #dnp fanfic #phan fic

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luckylester · 3 years

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𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐬 𝐭𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐞 | phan

words: 470/?

chapters: 1/?

updates: bi/triweekly!

summary: dan is a poet with a body count. phil is a soft artist who lives on the thought of love at first sight and can't help but smoke when it is so late at night that the street lights aren't even on. from the moment their eyes meet, a toxic, yet undeniably beautiful relationship sparks.

read chapter one on ao3 now!

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thepopsicle · 5 years

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“Too tense to be undone” - auraphilealis (A03)

Desc: “Dan’s never had an orgasm before. Despite being in a relationship with his ex-girlfriend for three years, he’s just never been able to finish. The doctor’s don’t know what’s wrong with him, so Dan’s mostly put it out of his mind. Until his gap year, when he starts talking with AmazingPhil, and accidentally admits that he’s never come before. Phil’s happy to help with more than just convincing Dan to post YouTube videos, if Dan will just give him the chance.“

my take : SO HOT OMFG

rating- definitely R / Nc-17

score 13/10

LINK

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the-squirrel-queen · 6 years

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It’s a little late, but here’s my art for my PBB fic

Read it here x

Please don’t repost (reblogs are appreciated)

Dm me, I do commissions

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starredwrites · 6 years

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Given Up, a really sad phanfic

Guess what, I actually wrote something! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? And this piece of writing in question is a phanfic inspired by the one and only @kittycatgirl2016 because I wanted to get back at her for making me really sad over her phanfics. Spite is an excellent motivator, everyone.

HERE IS THE ACTUAL THING I WROTE PLEASE ENJOY IT!!:

On November first, a notification went out to everyone subscribed to danisnotonfire. A notification for a video titled “One Last Time.” Around the world, thousands of subscribers clicked on it at the same time.

“Hello internet,” Dan said, giving his trademark sort-of-salute to his audience.

“So, today I’m here with a very special person-“Phil slid into the background of the video and gave a wave before sitting in the empty chair next to Dan-“to talk to my audience about a very personal decision that we’ve made together. It affects all of you, so we thought it’d be best to make a video about it.”

Phil spoke, “As you probably all know, me and Dan have been doing YouTube for a lot of our lives. Almost a decade.”

Was this their “thank you for subscribers” video? Or was it something else?

Dan spoke this time. “But all good things must come to an end.” Disbelief and confusion flooded the emotions of the viewers.

Combining channels? One of them deleting but being on the others’ all the time? Stopping PINOF? Dan’s messing with us?viewers thought, trying to avoid the obvious thought reverberating through many heads, in many languages.

They’re deleting.

Now Phil was talking again. They were switching back and forth, like two people reading from the same script. Was this scripted?

“This is a pretty monumental decision for the both of us. It took a while to make this choice, but now that we have, we have to tell you.”

“Just tell them what it is, Phil!” Dan said, giving his companion what the phandom had called “Heart Eyes Howell.” But this time the look was bittersweet, laced with sadness and a little regret. Dan appeared to have gone off of whatever script they had been reading from.

“I don’t want to, you should do it!” Now almost everyone noticed how forlorn Phil looked as well.

“Fine!” Dan said to Phil, then turned back towards the camera. “We’ve decided to quit YouTube.”

They at least had the decency to give a couple seconds of silence for their viewers to process everything.

Dan kept talking. “This is in no way because of our subscribers. You have all been wonderful throughout the years, and there is no way that we would be where we were now without you.”

“This was a personal decision,” Phil continued, “While we immensely enjoyed youtube, it was stressful to be constantly under the public eye. The more popular we got, the more it wore on us. And we have other careers we’d like to pursue other than as entertainers. It’s time for us to move on from youtube.”

There was no music in the background, and the silence was deafening.

“I’ve decided to go back to university and study something I’m actually interested in,” Dan said, “I’ll be majoring in philosophy next fall.”

“I’m going to write a book,” Phil said, “Probably young adult literature.” His face lit up, happier than it had been all video.

They elaborated on what that would mean, explaining that they’d still keep their other social media accounts, etc. You were either not really listening or hanging on to their every word.

“But one last thing before we say goodbye forever.” Dan turned to Phil.

“This is what you call giving the people what they want,” Phil half-joked.

Dan smiled. “It’s not just what they want.” He leaned in.

They kissed. A long, passionate kiss that set anything you’ve ever seen in the movies to shame. Phil’s arms were around Dan’s neck, Dan’s arms hugged Phil tightly. Their eyes were both closed, and there was truly not a dry eye among their viewers. Emotions ranged from shock to happiness to satisfaction, but mostly happiness.

After what felt like an eternity, they broke apart.

“We’ll delete our channels in 48 hours,” Phil said. He did his usual outro, and everyone watched silently as his hand covered the camera for the last time.

“Goodbye.”

#phan #phanfic #phanfic angst #dnp #danandphil #dan and phil #dani snot on fire #danisnotonfire #daniel howell #amazingphil #my writing #phil lester #fanfic #fan fic #fanfiction #fan fiction #writing #writer #starredwrites

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philester · 7 years

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the best slow burn fan fic ever written: Dan and Phil

#their life is a slow burn fic #like some of the things that happen to them is like...not real but also real like it sounds like a fucking fan fic #asjkdhasd #danielhowell #phil lester #amazingphil #daniel howell #mine

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east-of-novel · 7 years

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|| The Infinite Possibility of Us ||

It began as all good stories do, with an inciting incident. Dan's just so happened to be almost getting hit by a car, watching a man die before his eyes and somehow falling into a web of alternate realities. Just your usual morning inconvenience. He just wanted a coffee, and to make Phil happy. Now all he wants is to get back home, back to his world, his life, his Phil. Little does he know Phil has found himself in a similar predicament, and what is stranger still is that in all other worlds they seem to be together. Maybe this is the universe trying to tell them something.

#phan #phan fiction #phan fic #phan fic rec #moodboard #edit #phan moodboard #aesthetic #fic rec #fan fiction #fanfiction #danisnotonfire #amazingphil #dan howell #daniel howell #phil lester #the infinite possibility of us #young_rouge_rose

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yonpote · 7 days

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sorry i dont have anyone to talk to this about lol so it's going in your inbox but i'm in my mid-20s and only now for the first time in my life have i changed my mind on rpf specifically because of phanfic. i'm a returning phannie but like.... the last time i watched them was all the way back in 2012. and was very ani-rpf then and have continued to be through the years. and i think in a lot of cases i maintain that position. but after falling back in love with dnp and the phandom and caving into the urge to read some phanfic knowing that dnp themselves encourage and respect it im kind of shocked to find it's actually a really beautiful, metatextual, interactive creative outlet. i think youve talked a bit about how phanfic isnt really rpf to you and i kind of agree, because dan and phil to me are like.... an idea, a mythology, a narrative, that theyre aware of and have built as well as being aware that we're aware of. like the idea of dan and phil has been constructed by them and their fans hand in hand for over a decade. and i find that phanfic itself is very aware of this and exists to expand upon those ideas. lol. yeah that's it sorry for this ramble. i just find it surprising that something could change my mind on that in this day and age but it's been a very cool experience.

hello welcome youve come to the right place for this yap because i COMPLETELY understand you. like genuinely i am not this attached to any other "rpf" content like this? ok i had an egobang phase but honestly arin and danny have grown to share a similar but not exact same connection as dnp BUT I DIGRESS

but yeah i think a lot of it is due to the contrastive relationships between the brand of Dan and Phil™, their separate individual brands Daniel Howell and AmazingPhil (particularly dan), the Phanon dnp, and the actual real people dan and phil. i always go back to the fanfiction segment of tatinof but its just such a perfect example of what i mean. like, the entire idea to have a fanfic scene was ofc the real people's idea, and they used tropes they would see in the phanon to convey the audience interactive story, but at the same time had to keep it at least Somewhat appropriate for the Brand™ at the time being very pre-teen and teen focused. honestly idk how much you've gone back and watched of what you missed, but i would suggest doing that not just cuz theres some incredible stuff from those eras, but also seeing the intersection of the brand, fanon, and real people and when they split apart. you see it a lot especially in gaming videos imo where theyre unscripted, and once they got more comfortable in the gaming channel roles the energy shifting away from Brand but never too far... until ofc now where what even is their brand anymore just Chaos and Queerness i guess

OH ALSO go read some old fic and compare to newer ones like its not just that writing styles changed or that dnp themselves have changed, but the like. energy and intent put into fic has changed. i would say in the past it was more exploratory, putting dnp in AU's and imagines, or exploring what Could have happened. whereas now, yes ofc there are au's and fic for the purpose of exploring a concept or world, but also its a lot more introspective. exploring the inner world a bit more. idk i just thijk dnp are funny lil guys and they accidentally created some freaky lil creatures in a lab somewhere...

#the brand #phan #myrambles #i feel like i have other tags i could give this idk

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phanfictioncatalogue · 1 year

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Engaged!Phan (2) Masterlist

Links Last Checked: December 26th, 2023

part one

A Bit of An Announcement / The Lester Family - truerequitedlove

Summary: “Why are you so worried? They love you, you know that!”

“Says the person who has cleaned more in the past hour than in the entire rest of his life collectively.”

A Piece of You (ao3) - Spring_Haze

Summary: When Dan travels to the English countryside to participate in the BBC's Writer's Retreat, he and Phil do everything that they can to stay connected, despite the miles between them.

This fic is based on the BBC's Writer's Retreat that Dan attended in May 2019.

Achillea Millefolium (ao3) - kneebleed

Summary: Delicate yellow yarrows printed in their skin, preparing themselves to glow in the years to come; falling more every day that pass, this is them about to commit to the eternity and beyond.

Always Look in the Background (ao3) - AvalonBell

Summary: The clues were always there; whether it was the two rings in the background or the save the date cards left on the floor or tables accidentally. Even tweets started to give away that something was up. But to Dan and Phil’s surprise the entire phandom appeared completely oblivious to these clues for nearly an entire year, up until the middle of 2016 when the two men decided it was time they tell their fan base that not only was “phan” real but they were both in fact engaged and getting married by the end of 2016.

A Year in the Life (ao3) - gorgeousnerd

Summary: You know what the next thing would be? Gay wedding!

(A transcript of the amazingphil video A Year in the Life, featuring Daniel Howell.)

By The Way… We’re Engaged (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Dan and Phil are doing a liveshow when Dan forgets to take off his engagement ring.

details (ao3) - Fictropes

Summary: And it was the right time, the right place.

Free. (Ao3) - heyitsnxel

Summary: He knew he was engaged to the prince – Philip, his parents had told him. They had always told him he was part of some prophecy. But, while they seemed to think it would all be worth it in the end, Dan was beginning to have his doubts.

holy ghost (ao3) - sadlybunny

Summary: A reunion between the prince and his fiancé after Phil has been in Germany.

I Don’t Think You Know How Lovely You Are (ao3) - cafephan

Summary: Dan takes some time out to sit and process the fact that he's engaged.

I Will Love You Endlessly (ao3) - starrywrite

Summary: sequel to I Dare You To Love Me. AU! When Phil first met Dan, the young florist turned his life and everything he thought he knew about love upside down, and ever since then Dan has filled his life with love, happiness, and flowers. Now here they are almost five years later, and the two are still as crazy for each other as they’ve been from the start. So it only makes sense that the two of them take the next step in their relationship, and it starts with a ring (and a lot of lilies, of course).

In Sync (ao3) - developerdaniel

Summary: Phil kicked his long legs till his pants were gone for good, somewhere in the room to be found later. He pulled up from the kiss, panting for a moment before trailing kisses down Dan's smooth, hairless torso, stopping every few spots to leave a dark red mark for his eyes only to see tomorrow morning in the aftermath.

~*~*~

aka: daddy!phil and neko!dan go on a romantic night out to celebrate 5 years of being together where then they end up engaged to one another and make passionate love to celebrate their lives together. (shitty summary, ik, but i promise the fic is great !!)

Letters In Bold (ao3) - snsk

Summary: Spoiler alert: It’s on a beach in Lundu that Dan agrees to marry him. Phil slides an odd, beautiful shell through his ring finger and Dan curls his toes into the wet sand, tests the word fiancé wonderingly out on his tongue.

Paper Covered Tables and Undesirable Labels (ao3) - orphan_account

Summary: Planning a wedding is hard.

Pretty Baby (ao3) - Spring_Haze

Summary: Dan, who previously fought his own, natural, femininity, explores the traditionally feminine to surprise his future husband and learns that there is much to love about these parts of himself.

(TW) Raspberries (ao3) - maruyamapng

Summary: Dan laments over his past with Phil

skin on skin (ao3) - sadlybunny

Summary: It was subtle at first. Dan would grab Phil’s hands and hold them when they started to wander. He’d catch Phil’s lips in his when he tried to press them to Dan’s neck. Phil received the message eventually, and stopped trying to progress things altogether. It was odd. Dan was usually the one in their relationship to initiate sex in the first place. And it was especially odd for them to go so long without sex, or at least something quick. But two weeks was weird.

or... Dan gets a tattoo and is scared to show Phil.

Starstruck (ao3) - Yiffandquiff (paradisobound)

Summary: Phil attends all of Dan Howell’s concerts. In fact, he makes it a rule to even record every one he goes to. You could say he was in love with Dan Howell and in fact, that wouldn’t be a lie because he’s actually Dan’s fiancé. Too bad Dan’s fans see him as the creepy guy at Dan’s concerts.

What We’ve Been Hiding-Secret Project and More - too-queer-for-you

Summary: A description of a video in which Dan and Phil finally answer long asked questions and reveal the truth.

Your Crowning Glory (ao3) - pasteldanhowells, rainbowchristy

Summary: Dan is 18 years old when the news is suddenly sprung upon him that he is next line to be the next king of Genovia, but things don’t go as smoothly as he thought, between having a suddenly busy schedule, a new lifestyle, an arranged marriage that Dan has no control over, and worst of all, Philip Lester trying to steal his crown.

#phanfictioncatalogue #phanfiction #phanfic #phan #masterlists #establishedrelationship #engaged #engaged masterlist

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glitterrhowell · 5 years

Text

Colors in Disguise

Title: Colors in Disguise

Pairing: Daniel Howell & AmazingPhil (Phan

Word count: 1.4k

Warning/Genre: eating disorder / food addiction / implied self harm / Anorexia

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Author note: This story is very close to my heart as myself currently struggle with B.E.D. (Binge Eating Disorder) and food addiction and several of the feelings in the story are feelings I have had myself or maybe even instances that have happened to myself. I have found writing this story is helping me in my recovery and I don't intend to stop so if your interested in coming on this journey with me I intend on updating once on Tuesdays. This story will also deal with other mental health issues such as self-harming so if that triggers you this might not be the story for you.

Disclaimer: I am not a mental health specialist everything I write is from experience and research

Ever since he could remember, Dan had had issues with food. He wouldn't say he was a fat kid but he was definately on the chubbier side which was something the kids at his school never let him forget. He was endlessly teased for everything about his appearance; he was a tall freak, a fat-ass emo fag. The insults during his childhood never seemed to end. And as far as he could remember, he had always loved food. The savory-filled taste of a big bag of crisps, or the nice thick coating of bubbling cheese on a delicious pizza. But as much as he loved the savory food, he love the tooth-achingly sweets just as much.

The earliest he can remember binge eating was when he was around twelve years old. The teasing at school had been particularly bad that day; the bully at school had pushed him down into a mud puddle after school and Dan had come home sopping wet and dripping muddy water everywhere. Of course, he’d been alone; he was always alone with his brother in daycare and his mum and dad at work. That was how he spent lots of his time. Alone.

Dan had went straight to the kitchen to get himself a snack, not even bothering to dry himself off. Once he was in the pantry, all of his problems seemed to float away, it was like nothing could hurt him. His parents kept a variety of snacks in the house just for occasions like this when he was alone. His eyes fell to a bag of gummy worms and he grabbed them excitedly only to stop when he saw there was still a bag of his favorite crisps. Having both won't hurt right? And so he grabbed his snacks and headed to his room; he plopped down on his bed tearing open the crisps in the process. It didn't take him long to finish an entire family size bag of crisps as well as a pretty moderate-sized bag of gummy worms. Once he was done he smiled at himself and collapsed back onto his bed, but as he lay there the events from that day started coming back to him. Frustrated because they hadn't been there just minutes ago while he was enjoying his snacks, he sighed and he reached into his bedside drawer to retrieve three different candy bars from his stash of Halloween candy he still had left over. He wasn't hungry but the sight of the chocolate made his problems once again slip from his mind.

That should have been a major clue to Dan that he had a problem because ever since then, he used food as a way to escape his problems and relieve his stress. It was a vicious cycle that he had become accustomed to over the years; when he was feeling stressed he would stockpile on his favorite treats and binge until he physically couldn't eat anymore. Of course, this lead to him feeling ashamed and guilty and all he could think was what the hell was wrong with him? Those kids were right; he was a fat ass. But of course, the only thing that would make those thoughts go away was more food. So the vicious cycle continued.

When he was fifteen he stumbled across a blog on Tumblr that suggested to him that he purge all the food that he binged; he tried that only once before he decided that wasn't for him. The feeling of throwing up just was not something he enjoyed, much preferring the feeling of being uncomfortably full.

He was sixteen when he cut himself for the first time. He had come across this method on Tumblr as well. He had taken his dad's razor, breaking it apart and cutting his finger in the process of trying to remove the blade. He remembered just staring in awe at the thick red blood that ran down his finger, it was beautiful to him. He knew in that moment he was hooked as it was the only thing that seemed to take the pain away like food did. During the year he used self-harm to deal with his problems instead of food, he dropped two stone and really slimmed down for his height. And since he slimmed down, he didn't seem to be bullied quite as much at school anymore. So Dan was happy using self-harm as a way to cope instead of binging eating. That was until the day he had cut too deep and hit a vein. All he remembers was a lot of red and passing out. He later learned in the hospital that his mom had happened to come home early from work and had found him unconscious and bleeding all over the bathroom floor. He had been forced to go to therapy after that, and his parents checked him daily for new scars. So Dan had to stay clean, he couldn't use cutting as a form of release anymore and he fell back into the cycle of binge eating. One where he had to stop scratching his scars, but also one where he resorted to sneaking food out of the pantry all the time yet again.

This continued until he was eighteen and had met Phil, and instead of cutting or binge eating anymore, he would talk to Phil about things. Eventually, over time, Dan revealed to Phil of his cutting but was too ashamed to admit to the binge eating. What kind of freak binge eats the whole pantry to take the pain away? So instead, he keep that secret close to himself.

In the time he was clean, he started Youtube, became best-friends-turned-boyfriends with Phil, and he moved in with him. He expanded his fan base, Phil and him went on tour, wrote two books and presented a radio show. Life was good; sometimes he still got the itch to cut or binge but usually it went away if he forced his mind to think of something else. He was finally happy: he had amazing fans, a gorgeous boyfriend and the times of hiding his scars and sneaking food was over.

That was until he had a really bad fight with Phil one night. If you asked him now, he wouldn't be able to tell you what the fight had even been about, but if he were to guess it was either about Phil leaving his socks laying around the house or something to do with editing.

Phil had stormed out of the house without a word leaving Dan standing in the kitchen all by himself. He squeezed his eyes shut and let the tears start to fall. That is when his arm started to itch, the intense need to cut becoming overwhelming. He sucked in a breath not too far gone to ration with himself; he couldn't cut, Phil would surely notice that. His eyes light up; he may not be able to cut but he could eat. He smiled, remembering the feeling that eating too much used to give him. The feeling of his stomach about to burst, the pure joy and ecstasy of it.

He rushed to the fridge and pulled out the pizza they still had in there from last night as well as some Chinese food they had left over from a few days before. He happily grabbed his food and started to leave the kitchen when a big bag of crisps caught his eye. Without even thinking, he took all his food to his room and dug in and, just like old times, he ate until it was physically impossible to eat anymore. He gave a satisfied grunt as he curled up in his blanket and let his eyes fall closed. He was happy for only a moment before the old feelings of guilt came rushing back to him. He shot up and looked at all the food around him and started crying again. He was a failure after all this time and he had fucked it up, just like he fucks everything he touches up.

Wiping his tears, he quickly gathered the evidence of his crime and went to throw them in the trash. He stood in the kitchen by the trash can he looked down at his stomach. There was the visible curvature of his stomach that hadn't been there before. Groaning in frustration, that was when he promised to himself that this was going to be the last time.

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