#and I’m aware that’s very ableist and I always feel really bad about it…

[theswedishpajas]

Inspo from this random short I stumbled into on youtube today

#my art stuff #comic #undertale #underswap #underfell #sans #blue #red #digital art #rude #i do NOT look like you. #captioned #alt text #i never add alt text cus I’m lazy and never really make things for others to see #and I’m aware that’s very ableist and I always feel really bad about it… #but I gave the images alt text this time!!! #I hope it’s at least somewhat helpful!!! #meme #idk how else to tag this if there even is anything else to add #i usually table the tags away with whatever I think of what I’m posting #but this time I’m just kinda happy with it? it was funny to me and I execured it well without completely over-exerting myself #i got some angle variation in there which I’m very proud of myself for since I have a big tendancy to draw every face from #the same 3/4 angle a lot #idk I’m just happy with it :o)

[melodramaschild]

Omg okay so more autistic reader ideas (I will never stop and will flood your inbox) okay so like clumsy autistic reader who has very bad depth awareness and Sirius constantly had to stop you dropping things, walking into things, spilling things, falling over the whole deal and he keeps giving warnings like “be more careful” and it’s just a lecture after lecture with him cause of how worried he is all the time and he’s developed like a sixth sense so he could be talking to James or something and just be like “the sofa” to stop you walking into it 😭😭 as always feel free to ignore this bae 🫶🏻🫶🏻

Omg im the clumsy one!

Non magical au || Sirius Black x autistic!fem!reader

Sirius never really noticed how clumsy you were. He never really noticed it in school, nor you were truly his friend. You both kept good schoolmates relationship. But there was something about you that made Sirius wanted to get close to you.

…

…

…

You always masked in school and Sirius was… well your schoolmate. You always talked together about specific school topics, you always helped him with a math or any other subject.

He liked listing to you. You always rambled so sweetly. But he was so afraid to admit that. There were rumors about you that you were autistic, freak and weird. Sirius was very popular. And he knew that if you both started talking more, they would bully you more.

But after school?

You bumped into him at a shop and one bump lead to another and suddenly you were all living together. You and Sirius in one bedroom and those other boys in their rooms.

Sirius quickly got used to hear strange thuds of yours, always following by “I’m okay!”

Remus was the first one who made Sirius read different articles about autism. “But I thought those were just rumors?!” Sirius pointed at you.

“Mate, just look at her!” Sirius turned around and saw you how you did your skincare in his room. You were sitting with your legs crossed, your mouth ajar as you doted some cream on your face. You wanted to place it down, but unfortunately it fell down on the floor as you missed the edge of the table and your strength was too strong.

“Fucking hell.” You cursed as you bent over for it. As you raised back up, you noticed two boys were looking at you. “Hi Siri, hi Remmy.” You waved at them.

“Bad depth perception, read about it.” Remus threw his phone full of articles at him.

—

Sirius caught up onto you a lot. He was like your right hand and you didn’t even realise it. He was helping you into your jacket when you couldn’t find your other sleeve.

He was quick with taking the filled mug of tea from your hands because otherwise you would spill it.

Quickly catching things when you tripped over a coffee table for like the 100th time.

He let you be in kitchen and cook. Of course he did, you’re not unable to cook. But he was always there with you. Reading something or talking with James or Remus. Leaning against the wall behind you.

You were cutting some vegetables when you remembered that you were missing something from the fridge.

You quickly moved there, tripping over your own feet and quickly catching yourself up. “Ah shit Y/n/n!” Sirius is quickly catching you, holding you by your waist and his hand was creeping up to the knife in your hand.

“Huh?” You confusingly looked up at him. “We always put knifes down, always. Alright, angel?” He was putting the knife on the kitchen counter, next to the vegetables that needed to be chopped.

—

“You need to be more careful, darling.” Sirius whispered as he kissed your another bruised on your hip. The hot water was streaming down your bodies, Sirius was washing your body and lingering your bruises.

“I’m trying,” you giggled. “It just always happen, everything is always in my way.”

That’s when Sirius got this idea.

“Are you sure that baby proofing the apartment is right? Isn’t this feeding this ableistic idea that people with autism are just grown up babies?” James frowned as he was adding another gummy stickers into the shopping cart.

“Listen!” Sirius turned at him. “We are not baby proofing the apartment. We are just making it autistic friendly.”

And he was right. He put those gummy rubbers only on surface that couldn’t be moved. Like kitchen counter, tables and that one windowsill on the balcony.

The rest of it was moved, making more spaces between furniture. Like couch and coffee table.

Suddenly your bruises started disappearing, your body hurting less and less.

Sirius always slept with you in his arms in the middle of the bed because he knew that you would roll over and fall over the edge.

—

“And last night, I drew this as a tattoo inspo- The sofa, angel.” He interrupted himself as he coughed you in the corner of his way, dangerously approaching the couch. “So I was saying-”

#sirius black x autistic!reader #autistic!reader #autistic!fem!reader #sirius black x reader #sirius black x reader fluff #sirius black x you #sirius black x you fluff #sirius black x y/n #sirius black x y/n fluff

[cripplecharacters]

Hi! I’m writing a story about a lady with Down Syndrome. I was wondering if you knew where I can find any resources about Down Syndrome made by people who actually have it, or any organisations that would be good to follow. Any resources made by people with intellectual disability would be really helpful as well.

I read your post about this and it was really helpful so thank you, I’m going to use it as a starting point for my research.

If you’d like some context about the story she’s literally a lady in the 1920s who’s trying to get control of her family’s estate from her brother. Shes underestimated for her disabilities and for being a women but I’m trying to not focus so much on the discrimination and work more on giving her an interesting mystery to solve with the detective she hired. I’d like it to be a bit lighthearted. Anyway, as she’s a main character I really wanted to make sure I wrote her well. Thanks!

Hi!

There aren't many resources out there unfortunately, but there is a page on the UK Down Syndrome's Association's website where members with DS share their opinions on representation in TV and film! You can read it here. For info on intellectual disability in general the best I can do is link some of my previous posts on it - there's close to nothing that's actually made by us unfortunately, everything that I was able to find is always made by someone who knows a person with ID at best. To be clear, not all of it is bad - I thought this interview (TW for abuse that happens in the movie's plot) about a movie starring actors with DS was pretty good - but it's still a sign that we aren't getting enough #OwnVoices representation. It's slowly changing though!

To learn more about DS I would probably recommend NDSS, it's one of the very few orgs that have people with Down Syndrome as board and team members (should be the bare minimum, but it unfortunately isn't). There's also information on things like preferred language and myths that often show up around Down Syndrome!

I'm not great with history, but in the 1920s she would be a subject to a lot more than just discrimination. Eugenics and institutionalization would definitely be present. Not sure what route you'll take there, but basically all the words around that time that she would be described with are currently considered slurs or pejoratives. The racist term for a person with Down Syndrome was officially used into the 60s, and the ableist one is still used legally in 2024. But if you want to skip past that, I think that's more than fine. You don't always have to aim for 100% historical accuracy, just be aware of the real history.

A detective story sounds very exciting! If you decide to publish it on Tumblr or other online site feel free to send me an ask with a link, I'd love to read it :-) !!

Thank you for the ask!

mod Sasza

I’m just popping in as a history fan for a couple bits of history notes — but again, like Sasza said, you don’t have to be 100% historically accurate if you don’t want to and if you don’t feel it’s necessary.

So, especially in the first half of the 1900s, a large part of disabled children, including children with Down Syndrome, were institutionalized very early in their life. Around this time the push that immorality caused disability was strong, and people were often convinced by doctors and professionals that the children’s needs would always be too much for them. Eugenicism was sort of reaching a peak around this time, as well—I would say it was at its most intense in the period of 1900-1940s.

Not all parents institutionalized their children, though. There was pressure to do so, but that doesn’t mean everyone fell victim to it. There wasn’t really any official support for parents who did this, and there weren’t official organizations for Down Syndrome. From my research, the current large DS organizations seem to have popped up in the 60s.

The term ‘Down Syndrome’ wasn’t in popular use until the 70s, and it wasn’t known that it’s caused by an extra chromosome until 1959.

Life expectancy in 1900-1920 for people born with Down Syndrome was 9 years old. Some of this could absolutely have been due to conditions in institutions, but likely even more relevant is that about 50% of people with DS are born with heart defects (also known as congenital heart disease) that can be fatal if not treated with surgery. Heart surgery wasn’t really feasible until the late 30s and early 40s. Another risk factor is a higher risk for infection, which isn’t easy to manage in a world that doesn’t yet have antibiotics.

I actually wanted to find pictures of adults with Down Syndrome pre-1940ish, though, to see real tangible evidence of adults being part of a community. First I found just one picture of a baby in 1925 on this Minnesota government website. But then I found a collection someone made of photos of both children and young adults, but they are not specifically dated. The first baby picture is from the 30s according to the poster!

Judging by the clothes I see people wearing in these photos, photo #4 (man with Down Syndrome in a suit next to a woman) seems to be from the 20s and photo #13 (young woman with Down Syndrome and very long hair) seems to be from about the 1910s. #18 (large family with a lot of sons, including one boy with Down Syndrome) could be from the 30s. Those three are the oldest people with DS in the photos, and they seem like young adults. A lot of these pictures show a community and aren’t just isolated kids, which I find nice.

It’s hard to find specific historical record of people with Down Syndrome from that period of time, but I wanted to show photos of real people in their communities to show, hey look! They were there, too!

Either way, I love detective stories and historical fiction and I’m glad you’re writing a story and that you care about your character’s portrayal but I totally know the feeling of that tricky balance between historical accuracy and modern acknowledgement that we should have been doing better.

— Mod Sparrow

#mod sasza #mod sparrow #intellectual disability representation #historical fiction #pretending that this answer isn't extremely late.. sorry #tw eugenics #tw ableism

[fablekitty]

Hey, I know I am the last person you wanna talk to rn, but my life is in genuine danger (still) because all I wanted was for a apology for the misconception.

I honestly meant no harm at all, and https://www.tumblr.com/lunarsilly/725681668334256128/all-i-wanted-was-for-fable-alologize-for-the

If you read this it will make a lot more sense.

I’m low empathetic and it takes a while for me to feel epmathy, and I think it’s hitting me like a bus

I never meant for you to be harassed anything (as I said in my OG callout posts) and I have not ONCE put your life in danger.

However, Davis has put mine in danger cuz he took some things I said in the wrong manner and it has caused me to get harassed to the point where I have to deactivate most of my accounts.

No, this isn’t ‘karma’ at all because I didn’t even want anything bad to happen to you and I didn’t mean to be malicious, all I wanted was for people to be aware that you could have possibly done this stuff, and benne like

“Hey, I have a choice if I wanna continue supporting them.” And unfollow if they please.

I have not once tried to put you or anyone else in danger, all I was doing was being like “hey, this can be seen as sams since you tagged it as such.”

Also to call you out for your ableism towards your own community.

That whole ‘no TSBS fictives and no factives’ rule is not only ableist, but it further Demonizes DID by saying that alters are their source when they aren’t,

People had a choice to support you, and I hadn’t meant for it to become this huge thing because a mess up in my wording )which I mostly wrote them at 1-5am, mind you. There’s going to be some mistakes since I was obviously running on 2-4 hours of sleep, and I always apologized if I said anything wrong in Davis’s DMs)

I get why you’re upset but this whole thing has gotten me death threats and it has also put not only me, but my family at risk.

Anyways that’s pretty much it, dm me on this app if you wanna respond.

This whole situation began because instead of trying to talk things over with me, you instead chose to cast a stone at me publicly. I’m not unreasonable. I would gladly have clarified anything you were concerned about, whether it be the claims of ableism or concerns about Lulu’s design. Instead, you publicly accused me of being a pedophile, not once, but twice. Which. I won’t lie; is a VERY harsh accusation that shouldn’t have ever been tossed out on a whim. The first was in a comment thread on one of Davis' posts, the other was a public callout post. You cannot downplay it by saying you just wanted to 'spread awareness' and 'let people choose to support me.' All I wanted to do was be left alone, and you wouldn't have it. 

You took my art and made fun of it, called me names, called my partner’s alter names, and tried to make connections to an accusation that wasn’t there to begin with. I have co-workers that follow my SFW account on Twitter. I could have lost my actual job over this. You losing your Twitter account is not comparative to my entire livelihood. You can say you never wanted me to be harassed, but you slandered and insulted me all over Twitter and Tiktok during the entire duration in which this all played out, not to mention all of the posts and videos about me being ableist and treating me like some sort of class traitor.

I only spoke out about it when I was at the end of my rope, which you also mocked and slandered, and thus the harassment continued.

Davis reached out to me about it because after doing his own research, he saw it as unfair that I was being falsely accused of something that could literally ruin my life and career and put my safety in danger.

I didn't ask him to post it, and I certainly wouldn't have asked him to take so much time out of his busy schedule to research and write that entire google doc. All of the accounts he posted there are public socials, all of which have the Lunarsilly moniker attached to them somehow. He's never really talked to me much if at all outside of this situation.

As for the comments made towards people who were clearly against you, entirely unnecessary. If you wanted people to stop and leave you alone then you should have never responded. This stirs the pot and makes more trouble, it also makes you look bad.

I can't convince people to stop attacking you, despite telling them not to come after you in my last tweet about this situation. I can't order Davis to remove your socials from the google doc. All we can simply do is drop the subject and move on.

None of this would have happened if you just came to me first instead of airing out dirty laundry into public places where you were fully aware I was in. Next time you think you've been wronged in some way, instead of acting out, take a step back and breathe. Walk away from the computer/phone and clear your head so you can think straight. That is my absolute best advice to you.

I understand that you're only 15 and probably have some stuff going on at home, and the last thing I want is for anyone to get hurt. Death threats and doxxing are wrong in general, let alone to a teenager, and if you're reading this and have done either of those things to Lunarsilly, I am incredibly ashamed of you.

As for the damage? My alter is traumatized by the claims you've made. My early design of Lunar was never canon. His design belongs to me and I can use it however I please. He is not canon show Lunar.

Speaking of Alters, I want to address the ableism thing.

Once again, all this stress could have been avoided if you’d have just come to me privately on Discord when this was first addressed. I asked you politely to please keep alters of real people from the show avoidant of fronting in the TSBS server. I asked this of you with the knowledge of what was written in the moderator handbook that each moderator must read and follow in TSBS, and had no idea it wasn’t written in the public rules. I will admit fault for not checking that. It was never my intention to come off as ableist towards you nor anyone else.

We didn’t just come up with rules on a whim. We put rules in place to try and keep everyone in the server safe and comfortable, systems and otherwise. Ultimately, the bottom line was that some of the voice actors from the show found discomfort in seeing alters of themselves and their characters in the server, and the business that owns the whole shebang also agreed, and their word is final.

I entirely understand the frustration behind having alters from the show. I have a few of them myself and so does my partner. Yes, they are not their source. But that doesn't prevent the original creators, or actual person from being uncomfortable, much like some alters are uncomfortable with doubles. Everyone's system is different. Mine isn't large. It's not small either, but my alters all do have one thing, a mutual agreement to work together and harmony. If that's something you can't control, then I'd recommend staying out of larger servers such as TSBS.

I was also never obligated to tell you that I'm a system. I don’t exactly go out of my way to make sure every individual who interacts with me is aware of this information about myself. However, if you ever took a moment to look in my discord profile, you would have known. The first line that is on my profile on Discord is “Marshmallow System-DID” and it’s been there this entire time.

All I want is to be left alone. I want this all to finally be dropped so we can move on with our lives. I’m old and tired and simply do not have the time or energy to keep putting towards this situation. Just please, move on and leave me be.

[featherfur]

i was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder a few years ago, it took them forever to diagnose me just bc of how hard it is to pin down, and i didn't get my official diagnosis until i was 27. i've been diagnosed with autism and adhd previously in earlier years, so i was already familiar with neurodivergent communities, and it was really kind of fucked up to come back after getting my bpd diagnosis and seeing people treat it like it was something else entirely. i've had people trying to tell me that bpd doesn't count as neurodivergence because "it's a personality disorder, not a mental disorder" like the two aren't intrinsically intertwined?? also dealing with people who i had previously known for several years suddenly start holding me at arm's length because i was a "ticking time bomb" or some sort of monster who would either split and explode on them, or god forbid, start obsessing over them.

it really just sort of blew my mind just how ableist DN communities can be when it comes down to conditions that aren't just autism, adhd, depression, or anxiety.

No this is it exactly. This is why I went on that little rant on that post.

I’m autistic, I’ve always been aware of it so I was in different community groups ones labeled just generic ND communities and a lot of autistic ones.

I’m also bipolar. I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 22 but the near minute I was and told people about it, it was like I had secretly been hiding that I was a monster the whole time. A wolf in sheep’s clothing, here to make the rest of the community look bad. I’m not allowed to talk about suffering from psychosis without the people who were just hollering about accepting ND ppl especially people with Autism and ADHD who have a hard time, suddenly turning on me and treating me like lesser.

I can’t talk about experiencing psychosis without being told I’m scaring people or I make them uncomfortable. I can’t talk about intrusive thoughts, and I mean the most disgusting vile intrusive thoughts possible, without being told that IM a bad disgusting monster. I’m barely a person to them if I tell more of myself then just what’s palatable to them.

I can’t say I’m bipolar and not hear people go ‘lol I have mood swings too’ or ‘yeah I’m ADHD emotions are just everywhere’ (that happens more then you think…). Bipolar has to be kooky giggle town mood swings that’s a joke. It’s not allowed to be mania not sleeping for days on end and being on the high end of every forsaken emotion possible, it’s not allowed to be broken moments trying to suppress every urge to claw your eyes out. It’s not allowed to be hallucinations because you can’t sleep and you’re all over the place and then you crash and can’t eat or move or think when the depression hits.

I can’t talk to people who are part of these communities without first vetting how they treat someone who isn’t part of the ‘good’ Neurodivergent folk. Because they’ll treat you like a monster, because they repeat the same ableist bullshit that’s thrown at them.

Because they want to be part of the ‘normal’ group and want to expel the ‘freaks’ as if we’re not all under that ND umbrella.

The communities are terrifyingly self-othering.

Neurodivergent has become a short form of Autism/ADHD/Depression/Anxiety. But only the ‘good’ forms. If you’re too autistic to communicate ‘properly’ (that’s sarcasm), then you’re gross and need to leave. If you’re so depressed that your teeth rot then you did it to yourself and didn’t those posts on the internet tell you how important it is to brush? If you have generalized anxiety and are terrified to leave your home then you need to do better, you’re not ND unless you have the cutesy shy anxiety.

Every “neurodivergent experience” post is very… what’s the word… separating? That’s not quite it but it’s late lmao. But every time I see those posts it feels like another gap because I, as a bipolar person, do not and probably will not ever experience those! There are somethings I do, I am autistic, and I understand the ADHD hyperactivity when I have a hypomanic episode, but most of them?

I don’t. And I can only imagine it’s more hurtful and upsetting to those who don’t have those main four but are still ND. Like those with Cerebral Palsy or OCD nor Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

As someone who has dealt with intrusive thoughts and felt scared from the way people in my own community mock it and say it’s disgusting if it’s used to describe what it actually means, I can only imagine how folk w BPD and OCD and Schizophrenia feel when those are the exact words used to be violently insulted.

The ND community is thick with ableism and hate towards anyone who isn’t palatable to the rest of the world, and they keep choosing the side of the ones who want us gone so they can be accepted instead of realizing that every ableist (and it’s culturally taught, it’s not always an intentional action) also thinks shitty of them and want you and any sign of neurodivergence eradicated.

If they didn’t then Autism Speaks wouldn’t be so damn rich and open about wanting to get rid of us. The average person wouldn’t be so vile towards ADHD people wanting medication. They wouldn’t claim if you take medication that you’re addicted and not trying, and we all know how they fucking hate addicts.

A lot of the most proud ND communities aren’t safe for anyone who isn’t the ‘good’ kind of Neurodivergent. It’s terrifying and gross, and a lot more fellow ND folk need to think about how they’re treating the rest of us.

You don’t get a pass on ableism because your card has an ND stamp on it.

#danny rants #Danny answers #lmao sorry I went on a fucking r a n t

[undedkat]

Bipolar Disorder and Asexuality

So it’s Asexual Awareness Week and I just want to talk about bipolar disorder and asexuality for a bit and how asexuality can look different in people with bipolar disorder versus people without.

Asexuality is incredibly personal and people are going to have incredibly different experiences. Furthermore, bipolar disorder also has a variety of experiences across cycle rate, type, and people.

Disclaimer: I’m going to use the term “bipolar asexuals” to refer to any person with bipolar disorder on the asexual-spectrum for readability.

Bipolar asexuals might have very different experiences with Asexuality than non-bipolar asexuals because a part of the bipolar experience is (hypo)mania. While the severity of episodes vary from person to person, one common side effect of a (hypo)manic episode is hypersexuality.

Hypersexuality in Bipolar Asexuals

Some bipolar asexuals never experience hypersexuality during (hypo)manic episodes and that’s fine. But that’s not a universal experience.

For some people this can be flirting and for some people it can be having sex with strangers. For a demisexual, hypersexuality might be solely directed at a partner. Some people might experience sexual attraction not experienced at baseline or depression. A greysexual might experience higher frequency of attraction. Some people might experience lower rates of sexual repulsion or just want to have sex without experiencing any attraction to people. It might present as higher rates of masturbation.

Regardless of how hyper sexuality might display, most people don’t experience this at baseline or in (hypo)depressive episodes. Mixed episodes are complicated so I’m not going to into that.

This can give bipolar asexuals very complicated feelings to sex and asexuality. Mania and hypomania are important parts of the bipolar experience and if a person experiences some degree of hypersexuality, that’s going to affect how they experience asexuality.

Sex

“Asexuals can’t have or enjoy sex” is a bad take for every demographic for a number of reasons, but remember that hypomania and mania can be very distressing at times. Hypersexuality can particularly be very distressing to some bipolar asexuals because of the lack of sexual attraction. When we’re in an episode, hypersexuality is not always something we can control.

This sort of take is really damaging to bipolar asexuals. To say only bipolar people who never experience hypersexuality can be asexual is really ableist, especially considering that it’s not something we can control during a episode.

Medication

While some mood stabilizers affect libido, asexuality is not something controlled by libido. On the other hand, having less extreme and less frequent episodes will reduce the severity and rate of hypersexuality.

For many people, bipolar disorder will only go into partial remission. Being medicated doesn’t necessarily mean that hypersexuality goes away. A demisexual on bipolar medication won’t suddenly stop being either bipolar or demisexual. It’s more complicated than that.

—————

Wow that was a long post. Anyways, if anyone has any other experiences to share, I would love to hear them.

#lgbtq #asexual awareness week #actually bipolar #asexual #bipolar asexual

[unbakehisbeans]

I’ve always been progressive, like ultra leftist progressive by US standards, right? I considered myself a communist and a feminist by the time I was in, like, middle school. But I was also, and I didn’t know this at the time, a class reductionist. And I wasn’t, like, super on board with the budding social justice movement of the time and let me tell you that a huge part of it was just misunderstandings because most people aren’t very good at explaining.

But it was weird because, again, I was super progressive. I’ve always believed in universal healthcare, the universal right to an abortion, I never denied that racism, misogyny, etc existed and were systemic problems. But there were a few things in my way, those being: that I thought that all of those problems could be solved by communism, that I was dealing with a lot of internalized racism, misogyny, and queerphobia, and that I was on tumblr and friends with “SJWs” who were really horrible at explaining things and didn’t seem to actually understand super well themselves. And also because it is unavoidably difficult to be so critical of every aspect of your worldview.

And I absolutely was listening to marginalized voices the way I was supposed to, right? I really thought that I was “educating myself.” But there were issues there too. For one, transmedicalism was incredibly popular at that time and that was about all I could find and I didn’t really buy into that. And then also not everyone, marginalized or not, is good at explaining themselves! I’d see someone say something like “makeup is racist,” which is just going to sound really wild and inflammatory to a lot of people, with no explanation of what they mean! Now I can extrapolate what you might mean by that, I can catch your drift, but that’s just not going to work for, like, most people. It actually does require thorough explanation because systemic oppression, by nature of being systemic, is so naturalized, so mythologized that it tends to disappear from view.

And at some point I even became aware that my worldview was racist, misogynistic, queerphobic, fatphobic, ableist, etc. And I felt really awful about it and I even talked to my therapist (who is not a white person who was just going to assuage my guilt) about it. And she helped me work through my internalized racism, misogyny, queerphobia, etc.

But what it took for me to actually go full on hard left social justice was talking to my therapist and learning about the mechanisms and mundane functioning of oppression. I started, like, doing actual research and reading theory and listening to marginalized people who are activists and not just regular degular people, etc. And then I literally made social justice my life’s work, like I literally became an intersectional feminist scholar.

And oddly enough, it was the more radical perspectives and explanations that worked for me. I had listened to transmedicalists and that didn’t make sense to me, “born in the wrong body” didn’t make sense to me, but radical trans acceptance did make sense. It made more sense once I understand, actually understood gender as a social construct. It took radical fat acceptance, a radical understanding of race, a radical understanding of disability, of gender, of religion, of colonialism, etc.

But that kind of radical thinking requires so much learning, in depth conversations, being uncomfortable, and most of all it takes good, thorough explanations and patience. And you might say that if it took that much then maybe I’m a bad person because it shouldn’t have been so hard. But let me tell you it didn’t feel that hard and it felt like it happened over night, because once I developed that kind of critical eye I was seeing and understanding more and more really rapidly. It just does take that kind of work to really understand and to understand enough that you don’t have to be reconvinced from scratch with every social justice issue you encounter because you’re only ever giving people surface level acceptance (this is why lots of USians are totally on board with settler colonial police state violence against Palestinians but totally against police brutality faced by Black and brown folks in the US, or why some people are totally cool with binary trans people but not NBs).

So, I guess my point is really that people can absolutely be “redeemed” and made into leftists, and we as tumblr leftists tend to eschew actual, in-depth, radical understanding in favour of platitudes and surface level acceptance. And I also feel like, on tumblr, even when former problem people are rehabilitated and reformed we tend not to believe that they’ve changed. Like, I wonder how many people would think that I’m, like, faking or virtue signaling or looking for praise because I went from a class reductionist to an queer intersectional feminist chicana studies social justice person. But the reality is that I was never that far off in the first place, and a lot of the issues I had with internet social justice then are the same issues I have with it now. And I do think it’s genuinely useful to know what people used to think and what changed their minds.

And idk, I can sort of understand why you’d be skeptical of someone like me. Like, yeah, why did it take me so long and so much work to *just* respect people? But that’s also a really reductionist way of seeing it I think. Like, of course it took that much! Of course I had to learn how to respect people, look at the world we live in! It seemed so normal to be awful, and even then I thought people should be treated better I just didn’t fully understand how because I didn’t grasp how certain groups are treated so badly in the first place. Nobody told me, and I’m not that smart. Maybe you’re so brilliant that you just popped out of the womb understanding systemic injustice and you’ve never had to read Frantz Fanon, but I’m not that brilliant. I had to be taught and I had to sit in it and be uncomfortable and cry and grapple with my place in an unjust system.

[knowlesian]

quick explanation on why grammar/spelling pedantry is Deeply Not Cool (in ways you might not even be aware of!) because as a former little snot about this exact subject i am begging everybody to knock it off. unless somebody asked you to comment on their use of language, just don’t.

like i said: i used to gleefully run around the world doing that shit. i get it! words are so cool. so, so cool. sometimes i get so excited just thinking about words and how i can use them and the way language shifts and flows over time to suit the needs of the people who use those words i have to shimmy in place, just a little. fuck YEAH, words. 

so i get it, words: very awesome. love ‘em. words and language itself tend make sense to me, in a way i can’t entirely explain. they’re soothing, like doing a puzzle, and they always have been.

so, living in my word nerd brain, i set out to make sure everybody in the world knew i was so, so good at words. probably better than them! that’s not how you spell that, that’s not what that means, here just let me do it for you because i know better. 

Not A Good Look.

i also know how it goes when the power dynamics you’re stuck in mean words you know that other people don’t are the best shield and weapon you can summon. i got bullied pretty hard for a lot of reasons as a kid, but i knew i could say something back to them that would leave them feeling stupider than me, and i used the fuck out of that. i never struck first because i am not so secretly absolutely dying to buy the whole world a coke so we can all sing in perfect harmony, but if people fucked with me or mine i made sure they left that interaction feeling just as shitty as i did. i was not kind in those moments, but i was very very thorough.

i’m not saying that all “ooooh, look at me, what a fuckin’ badass on the internet i am” because i am so very much not that, but because i still feel really, really bad about it. to this day, i sometimes wish i could tell the people who bullied me that i’m sorry i said that shit to them, no matter what they did to me in exchange.

though, like the saying goes, the axe forgets and the tree remembers. there’s every chance in the stories they tell themselves about our interactions, it isn’t that they picked on me and i lashed back; it’s that i made them feel stupid before i even got ugly with it, and they handled that about as well as i handled the bullying.

(told you, i really wanna force that damn share a coke/oh look, world harmony! pipeline to happen.)

so that’s one angle sorted: if you are good with words and/or communicating, it’s easy to not understand that people who have baggage around feeling they lack that skill (or just don’t see the music of the spheres in gorgeous sentence structure) aren’t going to appreciate what might feel like a helpful hint, but tends to come off as being a frustrating person to talk to.

which brings me to the second reason this matters a lot, and the one as a culture we don’t think about much, largely because it would make us uncomfortable and we don’t have to: prescriptivism around language is helping enforce a cornucopia of toxic bullshit. racist, ableist, classist: there’s a whole list to run down. it is what it is.

even if you’re not trying to put that out there in the world! even if your response to hearing that is “literally how, though”. like it or not, the net effect is the same. 

we don’t like to admit this because it’s one of those things that kind of breaks people, but: all words are made up. all of them. every single word in every single language, verbal or otherwise, is made up. we all collectively get together in our various overlapping groups over and over throughout history and decide: okay, so how are we using this now? language shifts to fit the needs of those using it to communicate. 

that’s part of why it’s so cool! as a word nerd i love elegance and formatting and asking myself “but what’s the prettiest way i could arrange this sentence, so it looks good on the page and feels just as good in my mouth when i read it out loud”. those questions matter so, so much to me, and they’re my version of having fun.

they’re also not what language is for. distill it down to the actual purpose, and language is for communicating. elegance in construction is a fun side bonus for those of us who care about that, but the ultimate goal of language is to be better able to fucking listen to each other.

so if somebody says to you “this is my story, these are the events that helped shape me” and you say, “you spelled crippling mental anguish wrong”, you are being a little shit. you know what they meant! but instead of engaging/asking for clarification and communicating back, you’re saying “if you don’t know all the arbitrary rules set by those with the power to set such things, you don’t get to speak. your thoughts are not valid unless you format them to my exacting standards.”

one of the best things that ever happened to me in college was a professor throwing their eyes were watching god at our class despite the fact that this was not a black lit course and saying “deal with it. it’s a great book, and if you find this language so hard to understand it makes even trying to read this book really hard for you, that’s something to sit with and think about more. if you refuse to engage with it because of that, you have fundamentally misunderstood why you’re even here.” 

at the end of the day, that’s some the best advice i’ve ever received as a writer and a person. if you can’t listen to the people around you, you have fundamentally misunderstood why you’re even here.

(i highkey recommend their eyes were watching god, by the way. it's an absolutely stunning book.)

#just my writing! not even meta! #CRACKING THE SEAL #i am deeply passionate about... everything lbr #i exist at an eleven whenever i think stuff is important or cool

[sazandorable]

I accidentally ran into a really good metaphor for art and authorial intent and audience (re)appropriation and the message and importance of art yesterday...

I was at training for the Thiagi framegames this week (irrelevant but very interesting and useful stuff for anyone in education or creative or even just teamwork job, check it out). The teacher made us try a “jolt” game that involved following her instructions to cross our arms and hands and knot it all up and pinch our nose between 2 fingers, in such a way that she could easily untie her hands at the end, but most of the group was unable to do it. The point of Thiagi games is always debriefing: What do we think, how did that make us feel, what do we take away from that?

People who couldn’t do it felt confused, stupid, inadequate. Some immediately assumed there was a trick and the teacher hadn’t given all the instructions correctly, or even that she was playing us on purpose. Some immediately assumed they had messed up and were too stupid to follow clear instructions, or that there was something wrong with their physical ability to do the thing.

But I and one other person managed it instantly. I tried again, and again, and again, and it was super easy, no thinking required. This surprised the teacher, because it doesn’t usually happen, but it was useful too: the fact that some people in the group could do it changed the general feeling in the group, caused yet more frustration and confusion.

But for me, too, it was different: I couldn’t figure out what other people’s problem was. The game was not only obvious to me, I literally couldn’t see the issue and was surprised that others were struggling with an obstacle that didn’t exist for me at all. I tried again and again, and suddenly one time around I couldn’t do it, and for half a second I panicked at being stuck without knowing what I’d done differently and why I couldn’t do it when it was supposed to be easy for me.

Meanwhile the other person who managed thought she had messed up and was “not the target audience for this game” because she wasn’t struggling like all the others.

The trick of the instructions is finger placement in a special way that most people don’t spontaneously do, so the main takeaway of that game is supposed to be that sometimes habits hold you back, or that you might be missing some instructions, or to pay attention to tiny details, etc.

But for me, it immediately brought thoughts about a gifted child used to Performing with ease and feeling no pride in it, but panicking and catastrophising the second you “underperform” and fall to the same level as most other people. Feeling odd and sticking out and like you messed up by succeeding. Or the flipside of neurodivergence and disability: obstacles that neurotypical and abled people cannot see or even think about because those obstacles do not exist for them, but those obstacles are very real for neurodivergent and disabled people.

The teacher was delighted that I brought up that interpretation, but she had not thought of or expected it. She welcomed it and valued it, but she had categorically not intended it when she ran the game by us.

The game itself was invented by “Thiagi” (scientist and teacher Sivasailam Thiagarajan). I have no idea what he intended.

Does it matter?

Is my interpretation incorrect because the ‘author’ did not intend it? Was it truly not intended at all, or was it perhaps intended by the original creator (Thiagi) despite the adaptator (my teacher) not being aware of that? Or did she still carry that meaning with her subconsciously and unawaredly anyway?

Was any of us “more right” with our interpretations? Does the majority’s interpretation cancel out mine? Is the majority wrong because they missed my interpretation?

Is my interpretation automatically right because I feel in my gut that it resonates with my marginalised identity? Or is it biased and overemotional and personal and automatically should be disregarded?

If it is, is my teacher a bad person for spreading that experience without explicitly saying it is/can be/could be about disability and neurodivergence? Is she a bad person for spreading that experience without being disabled and neurodivergent herself? Actually, I don’t know that for sure and am only assuming; am I entitled to ask for that personal information? Are the other participants bad people for not seeing it?

If someone else who is disabled and/or neurodivergent doesn’t read that the same way, does that make me wrong? Does it make them wrong and a bad person? If they think the game is a bad representation of disability and neurodivergence, does it make the teacher, Thiagi, or myself bad people? Does it matter in this case whether Thiagi himself intended it when he created the game?

If Thiagi didn’t intend it and is not neurodivergent, am I allowed to feel the way I do about that game? Is it bad that I like that game over more explicit stories by openly disabled creators? Am I allowed use that metaphor to explain to neurotypical people what it feels like to be neurodivergent?

Does it “count” as representation?

If it resonates with me, does that mean that meaning is categorically there? Does it make Thiagi and/or the teacher allies, does it make them ableist? Does that mean either of them should do or say anything public about that game? Would that make them allies, make them ableist? Do I want that? Do other people want that? Would it change my feelings? What if they said it’s not intended and not there?

Would it “count” as representation?

Does it matter?

(To be clear, I intend these questions as questions to make people think and I’m not saying that any of them do or should have objective clear-cut answers that everyone agrees on. But maybe some of you reading have strong opinions on some answers! Does it matter what I think and what I intend with this post, too?)

#authorial intent #art #representation #fandom

[apple-but-sour]

Do you have any thoughts on the whole Techno killing Tubbo at the festival shebang?

I don't fully know all the details, and I know that you're very much one of the sources or die type people, so I was interested to hear what you'd say about it.

Obviously Techno says that he did it due to peer pressure, which, well, a dictator telling you to do something plus a load of voices screaming for blood in your head constitutes some pretty damn strong peer pressure, but for me just brushing it off as peer pressure always felt as though it was downplaying it. It *was* peer pressure, but at the same time did Techno ever go as far as to explain to say Tubbo or anyone else fully about it? It felt a lot like just a welp, it was peer pressure, yup. Nothing more to say about it. Not gonna acknowledge those long term after effects.

Because it's something that I see c!Tommy bringing up a *lot*, especially in the doomsday vod, about the whole "don't forget about the past now" thing, but... it always felt a little unfair of him to blame Techno for Tubbo's death fully there. Yes of course, he pulled the trigger, but Schlatt was the one ordering it.

So that's essentially what my ask is about - was there any other option for c!Techno there? I've seen arguments before saying that he could have chosen not to, but are they valid? Because it feels as though it's more of c!Tommy steering away from addressing Techno's points and tunnel visioning on it.

I suppose I wonder if it's similar to the Techno spawning the original withers situation. The way that I see that event was that Techno really didn't do that much damage by spawning the two withers? Wilbur did a lot of the damage, but since Wilbur was dead Quackity tunneled on blaming Techno and making him pay, a price that I think he would have made Wilbur pay had Wilbur not died. I can't help but wonder if Schlatt was alive he would be the one being blamed for Tubbo's death, or if Tommy would still completely blame Techno for the situation.

TLDR; was it Techno's fault? Does Tommy have a leg to stand on in regards to that?

And a side note: I generally believe that Techno has been justified in his actions, but the one thing that I do think he could do is acknowledge the after effects of his actions on Tubbo. Not necessarily apologise for killing him, but the one thing I don't like is that Techno can sometimes brush off consequences of actions. Like in prison expecting, albeit perhaps jokingly, for Quackity to have just moved on after he killed him. In this specific situation I feel like Techno never acknowledged that Quackity was the one pulling a lot of the strings in L'manburg. I feel it's a little unfair for him to only tar Tubbo with the "government" brush and view him as nothing more than the government, but I suppose that that is just because Tubbo was the president; one would expect that he'd be in charge of making his executive decisions, not letting other people make them for him.

Anywho, sorry this dragged on, it's just something that I've been thinking about lately.

I am so exhausted of talking about the Red Festival so I am not gonna answer this one in detail. My stance on the Red Festival is that the only one to blame for Tubbo's death is Schlatt and by blaming anyone from Pogtopia people kind of give Schlatt what he wanted, which was to saw dissent in the ranks of his enemies. Technoblade felt like he couldn't escape the situation with him and Tubbo alive due to his limited knowledge of the server and his unfamiliarity with his own weapons, and so he didn't attempt to. End of story. Whether his perception of the situation was accurate or not doesn't matter here.

I must say I don't like the "a load of voices screaming for blood in your head constitutes some pretty damn strong peer pressure" argument of it because 1) the voices weren't introduced into the story at that point 2) the violence-inducing aspect of Techno's voices is an ableist trope that I prefer not to bring into analysis unless it's explicitly stated to affect canon. The peer pressure came from the crowd the majority of whom seemed to agree with Schlatt (that's what it seemed like to Techno, at least), not from Schlatt himself or the voices.

However, you bring up some interesting ideas, especially how Technoblade downplays the way he hurt others sometimes. I think that's an actual issue he has. And I do think that part of the reason the Butchers went after Technoblade is that Wilbur, the bigger culprit of November 16, was out of their reach. Although there are a lot of other motives that go into the execution which I won't get into here.

But you also mention some things I strongly disagree with.

"...I feel like Techno never acknowledged that Quackity was the one pulling a lot of the strings in L'manburg" it was impossible for Techno to know that. Even Philza, who was a resident of L'Manburg, wasn't aware of it because he wasn't part of the cabinet. Technoblade was a complete outsider unaware of the cabinet's inner workings, so I don't think it's unfair of him to not consider the possibility that Tubbo's decisions weren't entirely his own. You can't acknowledge something you're unaware of.

I don't think c!Techno "viewed c!Tubbo as nothing more than the government" either. Look at this quote for example:

I’m not saying everyone in L’manburg's a bad person. Tubbo? He might be a nice guy. The problem is that government, power corrupts. You see what Tubbo’s done? Ever since he became president? He’s cast you aside. He’s abandoned his friends. Just to protect his own power.

He didn't view Tubbo as government, it's just that he only disliked Tubbo for his role of president. So of course when he criticizes the guy who executed him, he's going to focus on the fact that he's the head of state, because Techno doesn't think Tubbo executed him out of inherent evilness or something, but because it's what his power made him do.

And that's my piece.

#apple answers #anon #c!technoblade critical #long post

[algumaideia]

The ableism in the Acotar series

I was thinking about all the problematic aspects of the Acotar books, and I realized that they are pretty ableist. I don’t know if someone have already talked about it, but just in case I’ll do it. But before I start, I need to say some things:

1. I haven’t read the series for a while, and I don’t remember some stuff. So, I might write something that is wrong.

2. I’m not disabled myself. This post is based on my research about disabilities and how disabled people are represented in the media. I have a lot of interest in the subject, and I also researched about it because I’m writing a story with several disabled characters. I also did a school project about assistive technologies.

3. English is not my mother language and I’m still learning it. There are gonna be spelling and grammar mistakes. I’m sorry about it, but it is life.

4. I haven’t read the acosf book, so maybe SJM changed the story or some character in this book and therefore my post will be incorrect.

5. Besides the fact that I consider Emerie to be disabled, I won’t talk about her in the post. Because as I said I didn’t read acosf and I think that her appearance in the acofas has the same purpose that the other female Illyrians (since Idk how to write Illyrians this will be write wrong in the entire post, I’m sorry).

6. I forget the name of some characters and I don’t want to search it, so I’ll just give them new names.

Now let’s begin.

I’ll analyze the following characters in this post: Papa Acheron, Lucien, Cassian and Ianthe, the woman from the library and the female Illyrians, the female creature from the forest, the Illyrian soldiers that came back from the war and the girl who couldn’t fly. I think I forgot someone, but patience. In the end of the post I’ll talk about disabilities, ableism and worldbuilding.

I also would like to say that almost all her characters got their disability as a punishment, and the problem with this is that it always links disability with something bad.

Papa Acheron:

As I said Papa Acheron got his disability as a punishment, since he didn’t pay his debts, some people went in this house and broke his leg. I might be wrong, but I think that it didn’t healed well and because of that he has chronic pain. So, to better analyze him I’ll compare him to two other characters with chronic pain, Kaz Brekker and Melissa, one of my main characters.

Papa Acheron became useless after he became disabled. He thought he was useless and by extension Feyre thought it too. I’m not saying that internalized ableism doesn’t exist, but the narrative never calls it out. Feyre accepts this excuse, it is kind of implied that if he weren’t disabled, he would be able to help his family and get money. Now let’s look to Kaz (I haven’t read the second book of the duology, please no spoilers). He accepts his disability, not only that but he uses his cane as one of his symbols. He goes against the idea that a disabled person is stuck with a cane or a wheelchair or whatever. He feels free with his cane. Now, this doesn’t mean that every disabled character needs to feel okay with his disability. My character, Melissa, feels a lot of anger because of her chronic pain. It hurts her, it disrupts her plans, it makes her suffer. However, it didn’t stop her to live her life and she also is not seeking anyone’s pity, which is very different from the Papa Acheron situation. Mel has friends, a social life, she studies, she will have a job, she will date, get married and have children. She doesn’t feel mad because she is disabled, she is also autistic, and she loves that part of herself. What bothers her is that her disability makes her feels a lot of pain. Papa Acheron is just someone to you feel bad and angry about. He doesn’t do anything because he is disabled and believes that this makes his useless and the narrative kind of agrees with him.

Lucien:

Lucien doesn’t have one eye, and that’s what makes him disabled. He became disabled as a punishment for falling in love with a lesser fae and not only that, but he is only without his mechanic/magic eye when he is on his worse. He was without his eye when his family was torturing and banishing him. And then when he was UTM. Again, disability being connected with bad things. Now about his mechanic eye. The first time that Feyre describes his eye she says it is creepy. Which is bad. But also, why it had to be magic and give him the ability to see spells or something like that (this was never brought back btw)? Why can’t he have a normal mechanical eye? Why he needs a mechanical eye? Why does his mechanical eye need to compensate the fact he is disabled? He is as much complete with and without his eye.

Cassin and Ianthe:

I put this two together for one reason, their disabilities were cured. I’ll talk about Cassian first. When they invaded Hybrein (I also don’t know how to write the name of the country) they hurt his wings badly. And considering that to Illyrians the wings are as much a limb as an arm or a leg, he was disabled for a while. (I’m aware that to something be considered a disability it needs to be long lasting. But I think that the fact that it was cured is ableist, if I’m not wrong the text said it was a miracle he was healed.)Then we had Cassian in the floor with his wings all damaged, suffering a lot, what a horrible scene. But don’t worry! The next time he’ll appear completely cured, because being disabled is such a horrible thing and SJM never used deus ex machina to save her characters. So, this injured made him disabled for a while, and it could be interesting. The wings are the Illyrian symbol, the symbol of their toxic masculinity and their sexism. Cassian being disabled because of his wings would make him revalue his culture and his own idea of masculinity and it would be so amazing. But he was cured. I think that this makes Cassian falls in the disabled for one day trope. Just like Ianthe. First the way she became disabled was disgusting. Feyre invading her mind was such a horrible thing to do. I’m not denying that Ianthe is a terrible person/fae but that doesn’t change the fact that it was a horrible scene. I really dislike characters with telepathic powers, because for me their powers are crossing a line. They invade and control someone’s mind. They take off the person free will. They basically turn the person in a robot. If I remember correctly when Feyre made Ianthe broke her hand it was with the purpose to make it useless. And when she appeared again in all her glory she was, surprise, surprise, cured.

The woman from the library and the female Illyrians:

I put they together because their disabilities are used for the same two purposes. The first is that they became disabled as a punishment for being female, and the second it to show how FEMINIST Rhysand is. He isn’t feminist, so all these women suffered for nothing. Again, disability being linked with bad things. The symbol of the female Illyrians suffering is they becoming disabled. NOT GOOD AT ALL. About the woman from the library, she was there to also show how good Feyre is. She is there so we can feel pity of her. She didn’t deserve it.

The female creature who couldn’t see:

My problem with her is that it is implied/said that she has better senses because she is blind. And that’s not how it works?? People just pay more attention in what they hear, touch or smell when they are blind/visually impaired.

The girl who couldn’t fly:

I'm gonna call her Anna. First Anna is like the only character who just have a disability. No trauma, no war, no punishment. She just has. Then she is a great disabled character, right? Wrong. She has inspirational porn written all over her story. She is there to make Feyre feel better about herself and make other abled people/fae feel inspired. She is there so we can say: ohhh poor thing, but at least she overcame her disability and now can fly. So ableist. Anna is also only valued after proving herself useful. That is wrong. Disabled people should be valued because they are people. They don’t need to be amazing in anything to be treated with respect.

The Illyrian soldiers:

My problem with them is how their disability is used to reinforce sexism and make Cassian and Rhysand feel bad. But what about the Illyrian soldiers? How are they feeling? It seems this is not important. They also bother me because of worldbuilding questions.

Disabilities, ableism and worldbuilding:

First, why humans and fae feel the same about disabled people? Feyre has the same opinion the IC have. And the humans and fae were separated for 500 years. This doesn’t make sense. Every court think the same thing about disabled fae? Does something change if the disabled fae is a lesser or a higher fae? It should make a difference. A real world example of how social class affects the way disabled people are treated: the first school for deaf people created only taught children of the nobles.

And why the way people look to disabled fae didn’t change after the war? What about the assistive technology? You know what, it is unrealistic the fact that we don’t have any assistive technology in this world. But this happen in the antient times, how could there be any assistive technology? First, assistive technology is everything that helps a disabled person, a cane, a screen reader, a scooter. Everything can be an assistive technology. Second, assistive technologies exist since the antiente times. One of the oldest prothesis were found in a mummy. There is a painting of Hephaestus using a wheelchair. And considering that this series happens in what was supposed to be the Middle ages, it was supposed to have assistive technologies. Wheelchairs during this time were heavy and the user couldn’t use it by himself, but they existed. There are records of a king using a wheelchair during the middle ages. And I mean with the war something was supposed to change. The first place to blind people in the France was created because 300 soldiers came back from the crusades without their eyes. It was in the century 20 that disabled people started to be more included in the society. And one of the reasons were the soldiers that came back from WW1 and WW2 disabled. Not only that but in war times the technology improves, so a lot of new assistive technologies and materials were created during this time. The first record of guide dogs comes from 1819 in school in Vienna, but it didn’t work. Only after WW1 that guide dogs appeared again. And you know with what purpose? Help veterans that were blind due to the war. Braille was a system used for the French army during battles. Louis Braille only made it simpler. The war should change something.

Why is the world ableist?  The excuse that this is an antient society doesn’t work my friend. The Egypt was a very including country. Blind people could be part of any social class. Dwarfs were part of the society since they had a dwarf god. In antient Japan blind people were expected to be independent. They could work with music, religion, telling stories etc. And the work of telling stories was very important since it made the Japanese tradition to continue. The excuse that this is an antient society is just this, an excuse. Now she could have used to say something. Leigh Bardugo used the ableism of her world to criticize the ableism of our world. I’m doing the same thing with my story. SJM made an ableist world just because.

That was my analysis. I’m sorry this was very long. I know this was a little confusing, but it was very difficult to put all the stuff that was in my mind in text. In my mind everythig made sense, but when I was writing it I realized I wasn’t following a logical argument. If that makes sense. Anyway, thank you for reading it.

If you read the books and realized I wrote something wrong, please tell me. If you are disabled and think I said something offensive, I’d love to hear you. If you are non-disabled and want to comment and give your opinion, feel free. And if you don’t want to comment, don’t do it. You can do whatever you want.

Best regards,

Me.

Ps. This is my first post in Tumblr, so I don’t know if I tagged it right, if you want to help, I would be really grateful.

#anti sjm #sjm critical #anti rhysand #anti feyre #anti acotar #anti acowar #anti acomaf #ableism #six of crows #kaz brekker #disablity representation #disabled characters #lucien vanserra #cassian

[the-ghost-king]

Interestingly enough the fandom isn't always rational with their criticism. Take Percy and Rachel for instance. A perfectly healthy cute and functional relationship dynamic, but people really hated it because it got in the way of Percy/Annabeth.

I think it can also come down to the fact that not all situations are exactly equal if that makes sense. If you have a character dynamic in couple A, that often playfully bully of fight with eachother that's a different dynamic than relationship B, where one person has trauma resulting from bullying and the other parter behaves in roughly the same way as couple A do. In that case the behavior may be seen as inappropriate. Not that this example has anything to do with the ships at hand, but I think a long form meta examining the different paralleling issues from both relationships and their validity would be easier.

Also I haven't seen anything about about Nico/Will being called toxic. Yikes, what are people saying exactly, because I don't doubt a lot of people might be projecting unconcious bias.

Oh absolutely, I may seem young but I remember the Rachel vs Annabeth ship wars all too well... I do not want to go back 😅

The rest is under a read more though, I got a little carried away talking! Also this isn't my best post on the issue by far so please feel free to check out the tags I mention later on!

(AN: I use nblm alongside mlm in this post because some nblm individuals will consider their attraction to men as gay, or queer, while others will not and those individuals are often closely connected to mlm experiences and they also deserve to talk about their thoughts and feelings if they wish. I am aware nonbinary people are not a monolith and not all nonbinary people will categorize themselves or their attraction this way, it's up to nonbinary individuals reading this to determine where they fall on what)

As for Solangelo being toxic some of the conversations revolve around the ableist nature of the ship, this is definitely most obviously a dynamic in BoO, and it's a more than fair point about the ship I don't have anything negative to say there in the slightest!

(The above parallels with the idea that Will is introduced as a "healer character" for the "sad gay kid", which is a fair criticism as well but one that's often left rather one sided, because while that is true- if it's a way Nico likes being treated (watched closely for injuries and cared for) then it's not wrong, and in ToN Will is seen overstepping Nico's boundaries which causes a healthy argument about Will doing so and he stops, so if Nico doesn't tell Will "no" or some variation he's obviously not horribly uncomfortable with the situation, or from the way it would be interpreted alongside previous text, there's fair reason to think he likes it)

The thing with Solangelo I see often is "Nico is still processing trauma, and internalized homophobia and isn't ready for a relationship" which is a huge misunderstanding on how trauma and internalized homophobia work as a whole, because the experiences can be different for everyone. You can absolutely date someone while processing internalized homophobia, you may struggle with certain things but it is absolutely doable for some people. And trauma is such a varied thing, and it's not like he's solely relying on Will either, he is seeing Dionysus for therapy and getting the help he needs! Your life doesn't have to go on hold for therapy no matter how much trauma you are sorting through! (Not disclosing my medical history or anything but I have struggled with both things and my life didn't stop for me to deal with them, I made new friends, went on dates, etc- it is possible depending on the person so the very narrow view of "this is unhealthy" and "this is impossible" rubs me wrong when it's treated as fact over opinion, because it's an opinion).

There's also constant discussions about how fandom (in current) fetishizes both Nico and Will, which I, and other mlm and nblm have spoken our own thoughts on multiple times to be largely ignored by the biggest perpetrators of this "they're overly fetishized narrative". There's also fairly consistent discussion of how fandom treats Nico and reduces him to uwu small gay boy, which more often than not seems to mean "effeminate" rather than actually harmful stereotyping (yes queer men are allowed to be "girly" especially considering there is some canon text that could be interpreted with that meaning, if there wasn't a plausible way to determine canon that way I wouldn't care if people were going after others feminizing Nico a bit- but the issue is again, fact and feeling aren't the same and fandom seem to conflate the two rather often).

(Some of that ties into nonbinary Nico head canons which are common as of current, and that argument quickly becomes transphobic is people don't watch themselves... Even without bringing nonbinary Nico into the equation, headcanoning Nico as femme isn't bad or wrong, and to say otherwise becomes gender policing which is bad).

There's also this weird obsession with there being a "correct way" to ship mlm ships (specifically solangelo), which when considering it's not mlm or nblm saying those things, it becomes really uncomfortable. Especially because the wording of some posts is less "hey this is homophobic" and comes off more like people are more upset at seeing an mlm couple than at the fact that they're being shipped poorly.

All of this in combination with the constant, talking over of queer guys (specifically mlm and nblm) comes off really messed up, and yeah homophobic.

It's not something that can be pinned down to one specific thing but rather a series of smaller microagressions (which in sure most of are intended in good faith but are being filled with subconscious bias) that build up over time- which is why my concern is that solangelo is facing harsher criticism/different treatment that percabeth simply for being a queer ship.

I can't be 100% sure on that like I said, because that's something that is hard to gain tangible evidence for, or maybe even impossible :/

If there wasn't so many other small things going on alongside the harsher criticism of solangelo, I would honestly just ignore it... But the weird policing of "how to ship solangelo" while proclaiming it's "overly fetishized" all while speaking over a not insignificant number of mlm and nblm who have agreed with certain opinions, or taken time to write their own (+ some of the rhetoric that can be found on he blogs of people commonly expressing these opinions) is super uncomfortable and definitely homophobic... Even if they were treating the ship kind of weird, but treating the queer guys talking about it well and actually listening (because the current solangelo fandom probably has the highest proportion of queer guys in comparison to any other fandom I've been in with an mlm ship as of right now) I wouldn't be so bothered... But sadly that's not the case..

(I'd also like to note out of my posts criticizing the current conversations happening around the issue my post saying "listen to mlm voices" got a lot more notes than some of the other ones, which I can't say is specifically anything, because like solangelo perhaps being treated unfairly to percabeth, I am willing to acknowledge there might not be an issue- but it's weird how often mlm and nblm's posts on "listen to us" will be uplifted but never any actual criticism... Just a thought)

I detail things a little closer and in more detail in some of my posts tagged #fandom homophobia, #mlm fetishism, and #gender policing in fandom, it's not a full or comprehensive list (I've only really started speaking up in the last month or so), and it is largely solangelo specific. However I am always interested in listening to the voices of other queer guys about the issues and hearing out their thoughts as well (people aren't a monolith and I'm interested in trying to be as nuanced as possible!) and I acknowledge that although I am mlm and am going to be a little better at recognizing issues and calling them out (although I like every person am not perfect of course)

So yeah! That's a bit of the current ongoings, again not a full comprehensive list, and definitely not my best explanation ever but I think the point gets across well enough? Definitely check out my other tags if you're interested in more, there's also definitely more posts I need to make on some of the things I've seen (maybe not all of them so solangelo fandom specific, and maybe some of them even more solangelo fandom specific) but it's rather slow work in progress!

#asks #anon #long post

[rpbetter]

"writes dubcon therefore is a freak who should be bullied off the site" ho boy i'm fed up with people acting as if consenting adults writing [insert "problematic" fictional thing here] is the worst thing in the world. seen way too many people justifying harrassment of REAL PEOPLE by "they write thing that triggers me". ok, and? mute the tags or don't follow! "it triggers someone" is not a valid reason to ban a topic. piano music triggers me yet i don't go around demanding everyone stop playing the piano.

Anon, not only is everything you said absolutely valid, but also, thank you for demonstrating that triggers are incredibly varied and as such, we cannot predict everyone's triggers. Making the entire "point" of banning for possible triggers invalidated as hell.

We should be aware of things like the most commonly occurring phobias (things like arachnophobia and coulrophobia that are, additionally, easily triggered by imagery) and tag them. We should be aware of very obvious triggers, that are, again, easily set off by imagery, like blood, eye trauma, and depictions of domestic violence. And we should always read and be aware of our writing partners' stated triggers so that we can tag them appropriately or even decide that it isn't going to work because our muse, canon story, or interests are going to present an unfair situation in this partnership.

But triggers can be highly unusual, as well as activated differently (even at different times) for everyone. I'm not triggered by seeing hotel rooms in pictures or movies, I'm not triggered by writing scenes that take place in them, but I'm triggered to some degree by being in one. It's outrageous oversimplification to act like all triggers are the same, they all display the same way, they're all going to trigger someone on the same basis, everyone's going to react the same to their triggers. There is absolutely no way to prevent 100% of possible triggers for 100% of the population, 100% of the time.

Add to this that way too many people trivialize triggers by throwing around that term to justify the banning of something that makes them uncomfortable or that they take a personal, moral issue with. "I don't like this" and "I'm grossed out by this" and "this makes me feel uncomfortable" is not being triggered. It's just a good way to weaponize the better nature of other people so that they comply.

Most people legitimately do not want to trigger someone, especially if they have triggers and know what it's like. Just like no one wants to be accused of cruelty towards trauma survivors in general, or be designated a pedo, rape apologist, or fascist. They're all things to weaponize in order to isolate, shame, and control. And that's really fucking gross. These are serious, real things that have no business being trivialized to police content, win internet arguments, or garner popularity.

The potential for someone to be triggered isn't a reason to ban anything; we have tags, we have blacklist.

While I'll be the first to say that tumblr's blacklisting can be as shitty as everything else on the site, the primary issue with running into content you don't want to see comes down to two factors: no one tagging/tagging correctly and actively exposing yourself to that content. Going through people's properly done tags and blog warnings about their content in order to "call it out" is actively exposing yourself by choice. You actual walnuts.

Calling people on on their "problematic" content is bringing those topics to the attention of other people. That's the whole point of this gross behavior: look at the freak pedo abuse apologist I found, they write dubcon!! Don't look if you'll be triggered uwu

Buddy, pal, my guy...you just put that on blast for anyone to run across. Maybe their blacklist catches those words in your callout post, maybe it doesn't. Maybe they think you're a safe space because you promote yourself that way, so they click it anyway. Point is, you just willfully and irresponsibly exposed people because it's more important to you to demonize a rando on tumblr RPing something you take issue with. Good job!

Furthermore, dubcon itself is such a hilarious issue to take. Do they realize that isn't always sexual, or? Not? I'm thinking not. Funnily enough, one of the oldest posts I've been working on for this blog is about exactly this topic, the myriad situations that are dubious consent. That doesn't have to be sexual, and neither does it have to be intentionally predatory. You can come up with some amazing character development with a lot of muses in the RPC with dubcon because almost everyone's muse has some manner of trauma that might negate their perception of their own consent...and what do you do then? Is it removing more agency from that muse to shut them down, or is that always the better option? Can you separate your opinion as the mun from your muse's natural reactions? How does this impact the muses involved not just that moment but the next year?

Point is, dubcon isn't always some rapey situation. Even if it was, even if someone is writing it that way, it's literally not your business or your problem.

There's one mutual-in-law on my RP blog that really bothers me. They write things that I find fetishizing, incredibly rapey, all around shit that bothers me. I don't want to see it, some of the things they write makes my damn skin crawl. This person doesn't know it, we certainly don't speak and I don't think they like me very much, but I've repeatedly defended their right, specifically their right as a person with some long-term callouts on them, to write what they want to. I have them blocked and their urls blacklisted so I never have to see my mutual reblogging their threads. It's not a problem because I don't click "show anyway." Why would I, if it genuinely bothers me so much?

That's how you handle things that bother you; you use the tools available to not interact even by accident. Not by launching a morality crusade.

If any of us want to write what we enjoy, we have to allow others that same freedom. It's always a matter of time before this policing grows to include more and more topics, it's been used multiple times to get well-meaning people who don't fall into the general demographics to police queer, BIPOC, and other marginalized groups off of platforms. We've been fortunate in most of the RPC that it implodes on itself before it gets all the way there, but even so, you can see it.

It starts with things that produce a visceral reaction in the great majority of people, positions this with a repeatedly condemned idea presented as solid fact that fiction is reality, and you've got the start of something awful. Today it's something you don't like, maybe even something that triggers you, so you either support it or you quietly allow it to happen. Who needs to write that "freak shit" anyway, can't they just be gross privately? Six months from now, it's something "problematic" that you enjoy like violence that's canon-typical for your muse, or your OTP because they're gay and that's fetishizing, they're cis male and female but one or both is bi and that's bad representation, or they canonically have a rocky relationship so that's romanticizing toxic/abusive relationships.

If you can't care for any other reason, you really should care about how it is going to impact you sooner or later. In an environment like this, you can stay in your space, put warnings on your blog, and tag properly and you're still going to get a callout if the wrong person finds your blog. Just takes a single person with more time, energy, and skewed ideas of justice than they have reading comprehension or common sense.

Again, I cannot encourage people enough to give warnings, but it's difficult to ignore why those warnings are slipping; they're a way to be found, designated as a Problem, and called out. Look, it's another reason why callouts actually make things worse, not better! People put that shit in their rules so you can avoid content, they're being responsible and interested in promoting a safe RPC. Let them do it, damn.

You can't tag everything, and if you've never experienced what a giant series of repetitive tags is like on a screenreader you probably should before you tag seven paragraphs of possible issues. You can tag for visuals, you can tag for the obvious things, and you can tag for what's in the rules you agreed to when you followed/followed back. But you should also warn people that you write "dark topics" on the tin, and expand on that in your rules for specific things like graphic violence, toxic relationships, dubon, and addiction.

That's how responsible adults, not over-aged children, make better decisions about their mental health and general comfort. Not by appointing themselves the watchdogs of the damn RPC, here to protect you whether you want to be or not, find that incredibly insulting or not when you're in one of their categories of people who must be protected, by forcibly banning Problematic Everything. Problematic, of course, being entirely in the eye of the content police.

It's fiction. No one and nothing real was harmed. It's great that you are so invested in the fictional world and people that make you happy, but take a fucking big step back into reality. The real people you're harming with your bullshit had every right to peaceably exist. If what they're writing is triggering to you, stay. away. from. it.

Without any coincidence whatsoever, that's how you get from the base-point of Problematic Material to Problematic Mun. Yeah, it's just fiction, it's just RP, but I also took something out of context OOC or was upset by their tone on their own blog or couldn't exercise the minimal adult logic to remove myself from their presence OOC as well. So, now, you've got OOC behavior being added to the callout, if it wasn't already. Everyone is now ableist, transphobic, racist, and a misogynist because it lends that visceral reaction to the callout and ups the game from just being "y'all so gross you aged up a cartoon character to ship" to "this is REAL and it won't be tolerated! OP is actually a pedophile, they told a sexual joke in a discord server with a minor present and I have the receipts!"

What are the most storied callouts in the entire RPC? I'm absolutely certain the same names came to mind no matter what fandoms you're in, and one of them was "Matt." Another was probably "Ares/Snow". They're all successful and keep being brought up out of the closet anytime people are bored enough because their primary punch is the mun themselves being a predatory threat to the community. The mun is verified to be a bad person. Well, of course, that's got to be repeated, it worked. (Even if it did not, at all, work and only made it harder for people to avoid any of these muns.)

Are there people in the RPC who are legitimately a problem? Absolutely, yes. We're all supposed to be adults, however. Part of being an adult is having and acting upon one's agency. If someone is coercing you into things you are not comfortable with, shut it down. If you have difficulties being certain of those situations, run it by a trusted, honest friend or available, impartial source in the RPC for a second opinion. If you can't handle any manner of confrontation, there really are situations in which it's perfectly alright to block someone without any discussion. It's just the internet, you're in control of your space. Own it.

Minors are a whole other can of fucked up worms I'm not even getting into right now except to say that because a minor exists in a space they were told to stay out of does not mean we ban all topics inappropriate for their consumption.

tl;dr: banning shit doesn't work anyway, the whole idea is predicated upon some incredibly problematic takes IRL, and no, there's no justification for it outside of intense personal problems with one's own importance. That energy would be infinitely better spent volunteering one's time to help real people in crisis or after surviving one, or even oneself in developing some healthier approaches and thought patterns.

#hey what if we all start saying we're triggered by callout culture is that bannable then lmao #vespertine #drama cw #bsnf #callout culture #tumblr rpc #rp problems #also thank you again anon I hope you're having a great day!

[whatstheproblembaby]

AO3 Tag Meme

@klaineharmony tagged me like last week and I’m just now getting to this, oops. >.<

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

273, although I have collection of <1000 word stories that I originally posted individually on here and FFn, so technically I’ve written closer to 300 fics, probably?

2. What is your total AO3 word count?

497,239. Not half bad for a one-shotter!

3. How many fandoms have you written for and what are they?

5, if we count my Newsies/Supergirl crossover for both fandoms. The others are Glee, Riverdale, and Call the Midwife. (God, that’s eclectic to list.)

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

They’re all Klaine fics, to the surprise of absolutely no one:

1. But Now I See, my blind!Kurt/sighted!Blaine fic. (Tbh, I don’t love that I took this prompt and made the big moment in this one curing Kurt’s blindness, but I wasn’t aware of how ableist that trope is when I wrote it. I’m not going to delete it because that feels like sweeping it under the rug, but please know that I know better now.)

2. Unforgettable, a Cheerio!Kurt/nerd!Blaine AU based off this prompt: “You probably don’t remember but you saved me from some bullies once in middle school and god damn it every year you just get hotter"

3. Finally Found the Boy, a florist!Kurt/barista!Blaine AU in which I utilized every trope known to man: “#okay but combine all four: person a works at a coffeeshop #person b works at a flowershop #they start fake dating to cover for person a who's lied to their parents about meeting their soulmate #but then they do whatever thing reveals soulmates while fake dating and start REAL DATING #THE END”

4. Covert Cupid, aka your classic nerd!Kurt/jock!Blaine gift-giving AU. (You know, like Secret Santa, but for Valentine’s Day.)

5. Make A Move, a Cheerio!Blaine based off this anonymous prompt: “a klaine alternate meeting fic where one of them is working at a kissing booth and the other one keeps coming back with money and asking for kisses “for charity” and they basically end up making out in front of everybody bc the kisses are so great okay love u bye” (Yes, I DID use a One Direction lyric for the title; no, I am NOT sorry.)

5. Do you respond to comments, why or why not?

Every time! At the very least, I drop a “thank you” and a heart, because I’m just that grateful that anyone has enjoyed my fic enough TO leave a comment. If there’s a more specific comment, I try to address it, too.

6. What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending?

Uh, probably none of them? Happily ever after or BUST, pals.

...

Okay, I literally looked through all of my fics and this drabble is the only thing that even REMOTELY ends angstily. Plenty of my work has some kind of drama in the middle, but I firmly don’t believe in tragic endings. 

7. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve ever written?

I’ve only done one proper crossover (e.g., featuring characters from both universes), but I’ve done plenty of AUs based on other pieces of IP! My one true crossover is Just Be Real (Is All I’m Askin’), which mixes Newsies and Supergirl with a dash of past lives/reincarnation. Listen, when you put Jeremy Jordan in two things I love, I’m gonna find a way to combine those things, friends.

8. Have you ever received hate on a fic?

I once got called out for using the term “maiden name” in a fic, but I’ve never truly been flamed or anything. Hope that stays true!

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

Not often, and not outside of the Klaine fandom, at least as of right now. In those fics, I leaned a little more M than E in my ratings, and there were some D/s leanings, but that’s really based on how I saw that pairing. If I ever do smut for another fandom, I may totally mix up my kinks depending on how I see the couple/throuple/etc!

10. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I think I had some stories posted to at least one of those random pirate sites back in the day? But I’ve never been deliberately plagiarized that I know of.

11. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

I’ve definitely tried! Truffles and I worked on at least one co-authored fic once, but I don’t remember if we ever posted it.

12. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I’m only supposed to have one???

13. What was the first fandom you wrote for?

Like many Millennials, I’m sure, it was Harry Potter. If you go digging in MuggleNet FanFiction, you should be able to find my terrible acrostic poems from when I was 14.

14. What’s your favorite fic you’ve written?

Oof, again with the favorites? I have a couple that I’m more proud of than others.

Of my Call the Midwife fics, I love What’s in a Name? the most, simply because I included so many characters and feel like I managed to capture all their unique voices/personalities. And I created a moment I want to see on the show!

For Newsies, my 9k beast We Just Might Win proved to me that I can write more than 2,000 words without having to base the story on another piece of IP, and I’ll always love it for that. (And for Jack, Davey, and Kath, of course!)

I’m proud of all my Klaine fics on some level, because they unlocked a creative output level in me that I genuinely will not ever be able to match again. I think a crowd favorite of mine was my Sound of Music AU, My Heart Will Be Blessed, but if I had to pick a personal fave? I’d have to go with Destiny. Caroline @thehouseofthebrave gave me this incredible prompt for it, and I just love how I filled it.

I think a lot of people have been tagged already, so anyone who wants to do this should tag me as their tagger, but I also want to see @knightsofthegaytable‘s answers!

#also if you have a favorite of mine i want to know what it is!!

[kirksfattitties]

asks you can smell the privilege and internalized ableism radiate from

(tw for ableism and other bigoted implications)

i’m bad at reading tone but even i understand that this is 100% you being condescending and trying to cover it up with smiley faces and false sincerity. and i don’t appreciate that.

before i get into deconstructing your shitty ableist argument, i want to explain the reasons i believe in self diagnosis (self-dx):

even professional diagnosis doesn’t start with a doctor diagnosing you. there has to be a reason for seeing the doctor. some people see a doctor in their adult life because they’re struggling, some people are taken by their parents, some people are referred or suggested that they see a specialist. whatever it is, you don’t just see a doctor and they magically give you a neurodivergency. people have neurodivergencies before they see doctors and even if they NEVER see a doctor.

the psychiatry system is flawed in MANY ways and to say that it isn’t means you’re denying the experiences of people with less privledge than yourself. also like psychiatry isn’t gonna suck your dick. you don’t have to be a bootlicker lol

in many places (hi hello i’m from america where our government tries to indirectly kill us by not providing us with adequate healthcare! i and many other people have many issues we can’t get fixed because simply our government cares more about the economy than us), seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist or going to a mental hospital or WHATEVER is INCREDIBLY expensive. and to assume that everyone has access and enough time/money/energy/transportation/whatever to do all of that is classist and elitist.

ANYTHING medical (including mental health) is biased towards white cis men. most studies are done on white cis men/boys. because of this, people who aren’t white cis men (or people who aren’t perceived as white cis men) are often not diagnosed. the system is racist. the system is sexist. the system is transphobic. people don’t know how to diagnose autism or adhd or personality disorders or other neurodivergencies or even mental illnesses in black people and other people of color, in women, in trans people, etc. and GOD FORBID someone be in multiple (or all) of those categories. saying “just go get diagnosed :)” is a privileged statement to make.

shocker! the psychiatry system is also ableist. if you’re already diasabled (whether it be mental or physical) and you see a doctor about ANOTHER disability? the doctor is most likely going to shoot you down. or at least be weary about someone having mutliple disabilities.

also most people who diagnose are neurotypical. they have never and will probably never experience neurodivergency so they can never fully understand it. they operate off of stereotypes of neurodivergent people and usually only stereotypical behavior of neurodivergent white cis men (which, as i mentioned before, is problematic for anyone who isn’t a white cis man). neurotypical diagnosers don’t know the neurodivergent culture and aren’t trained to recognize very common things (like masking for example).

a professional diagnosis can also be weaponized. not everyone can get a professional diagnosis because there are some neurodivergencies (such as autism and personality disorders) and mental illnesses (like depression) that can have legal and medical respercussions to have in your record. trans people can be denied medical and legal transition for being professionally diagnosed. people can lose custody battles for being professionally diagnosed. a professional diagnosis can be used as justification for taking away someone’s body autonomy (especially if that person is also physically disabled).

a LOT of neurodivergencies also have some type of symptom (or symptoms) that make it difficult to interact with people. troubles recognizing facial expressions, troubles understanding certain phrases and types of speech, paranoid about people, audio processing issues, being nonverbal in an environment that doesn’t accommodate for it, overstimulation, extreme social anxiety, discomfort in new situations, problems with eye contact, and a lot more. because like. for many nd people, interacting with people is very difficult and stressful. and hey. if you want to get a professional diagnosis? take a WILD guess what you have to do? FUCKING INTERACT with people! LIKE?? JEHDJJDKEKKDKDKDS. do you know how many professionally diagnosed nd people i know who made their appointment COMPLETELY on their own without help from a parent or family member or friend? LITERALLY ZERO! and i know A FEW nd people who have professional diagnoses! so if someone has social issues that prevent them from doing tasks like calling and making an appointment, showing up for an appointment, talking during the appointment, etc and ALSO doesn’t have familial or friend support (because newsflash! people who are friends/family of disabled people can still be ableist)? almost impossible to get a diagnosis! plus, the diagnosis process is TIME CONSUMING. not everyone can focus on a task for that long and not everyone can miss work/school for that long.

so those are the reasons i support self-dx. (although there’s probably more that i’m forgetting but i have adhd and it’s hard for me to remember things!)

so hopefully you now understand my reasons for believing in self-dx, and perhaps even you’re pro-self-dx now because before you were just uneducated on these issues and how they impact people who aren’t you.

but in case you’re still anti-self-dx and probably hate already-marginalized neurodivergent people, let’s talk about this horrendous ask (series of asks, actually) that i got sent. i feel like i can feel the self hatred and internalized ableism OOZING from this ask and into my inbox, so thanks for that i guess /s

“Sometimes people who self diagnose can take away from those who are actually nd, even sometimes from themselves.”

starting out strong with the ableism on this one by separating people into “self diagnosed” and “actually nd” people. self diagnosed people ARE actually nd

there’s not a limited number of nd resources. this isn’t a math equation of only x amount of people can be nd because there’s only y amount of resources. more people realizing they’re nd will actually MAKE more resources for nd people and will bring more awareness to being nd

even IF someone self diagnosed, and they go back on it later, what harm was done? they learned some coping mechanisms? they made some nd friends? neither of those are problematic and i think they’re both actually very helpful. i think nt people SHOULD learn more about nd people and stuff because i think that will lead to WAYYY less misunderstandings and WAYYYY less ableism

“There are many people who fake nds for attention,”

hey anon, what fucking world do you live in that nd’s are cool enough to fake having? because i would LOVE to live there. like, i literally had a post about my personality disorder (which i will not be specifying) i had to delete because people were sending my anons about how i was “scary” and “threatening” now that they knew i had the personality disorder i have. last year i left a discord server because the ableism i was recieving from not only the members of the server, but the mods as well. there are very few people i know irl who i tell about my personality disorder, but when i tell people about my adhd, they start treating me different. they infantalize me and make fun of me and use “jokes” about stereotypical adhd behaviors to alienate me and they even TELL OTHER PEOPLE without my permission. i was SEVERELY bullied throughout elementary and middle school for being nd. i have been refused job and educational opportunities as well as literal medical attention for being nd. people aren’t “faking” being nd, and if they were they probably wouldn’t be doing it for long because it’s not something that’s EASY to deal with.

kinda ironic that you’re saying people can’t diagnose themselves but that YOU can tell when someone is faking their diagnosis. that’s both hypocritical and a double standard.

masking exists. if you think someone isn’t “acting nd enough” they’re probably masking because they’ve been fucking bullied and harrassed. also you’re probably basing whatever you think nd is on stereotypes. not every nd person is sheldon cooper lol.

this is a side note but can we talk about how you’re literally just taking transmed rhetoric and molding it to fit nd people? like. you really come onto MY NONBINARY NEURODIVERGENT blog and expect me to validate your recycled “but what about the REAL [insert group] people?” ??? like grow up, elitist. you’re not better than anyone else just because you lick some boots 🥾 👅

“and claiming that self diagnosis (and this is just what I interpreted) is just as valid as professional diagnosis”

it is 😌

the only difference between self diagnosis and professional diagnosis is that a professional diagnosis can also get you medicine. not every neurodivergency needs meds and not every neurodivergency can be treated (at this time or even ever). for example, my pd (self diagnosed) doesn’t have a specific treatment but multiple symptoms of the pd (all professionally diagnosed) have specific treatments and medicines that work, so patients are given/diagnosed with/prescribed those instead. also, medicine doesn’t work for everyone! and sometimes people are allergic to or take medicines that will conflict with any new medicine.

“can really devalue the account of someone who actually has a disorder”

here we go again with that “self diagnosed” vs “actually nd” bullshit. literally just say you hate poor people n minorities and leave lol

someone having a different experience than you isn’t devaluing you, but if you’re the one who always has the spotlight maybe you should use your privledge uplift other marginalized people instead of feeling angry when everything isn’t all about you 100% of the time

“I have a second ask”

i don’t want it

“Plus it can be damaging for a person if they self diagnose wrong.”

how? what if they learn information that they wouldn’t’ve otherwise known like coping mechanisms that help them with their own neurodivergencies? that’s definitely not a bad thing

i think it’s funny that you bring up that people can self diagnose wrong and don’t even MENTION that doctors can diagnose wrong. like. you know. the people who GIVE OUT MEDICINE to people. i think it’s MUCH more dangerous when a PROFESSIONAL diagnosis is wrong. what are self-dx people with wrong diagnoses gonna do? read up on nd tips? maybe smoke some weed? drink some coffee? that’s about all they can do with a self-dx. but if a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL gives you an INCORRECT diagnosis, they can ACTUALLY fuck you up.

“I was recently diagnosed with PTSD, a disorder which I would have never considered I’d have.”

that’s great about your professional diagnosis! i don’t know you but i’m glad you’re finding out about yourself and getting the help you want and/or need /srs

sorry if this sounds blunt, but honestly i’m not surprised you never considered you could have PTSD. based on your asks, you sound like you have a lot of internalized ableism you need to work through and a lot more research about neurodiversity you need to do. being anti-self diagnosis is a common belief among a lot of people with internalized ableism and a lot of these same people are the ones who have no issue with and even SUPPORT auti$m $peaks. many nd organizations that are run BY nd people (like asan) actually support self-dx.

“If I had of diagnosed my own symptoms and then started treating myself or taking precautions based on my self diagnosed "condition", it could of really hurt me.”

how? taking precautions to preserve your mental health is NEVER a bad idea. i’m not ptsd, but someone i care deeply about DOES have ptsd and has shared a lot of the precautions and coping mechanisms for ptsd with me and honestly they’ve been incredibly helpful. it’s almost as if different neurodivergencies and/or mental illnesses have overlap and that’s why there’s a whole community for us to be able to share these resources and information with each other!

the same person was rejected a formal autism diagnosis because of their ptsd, plus the fact that they’re transgender and the fact they have symptoms of adhd. it’s not really my place to talk about their experience with professional diagnosis, but i’ll send this post to them and allow them to add on their experience in a rb if they’re comfortable with that. but it’s almost as if their experience with the professional diagnosis process was unhelpful, harmful, ableist, and transphobic 🧐 and unfortunately this is a pretty common experience

“Also, by self diagnosing, I devalue the account of a person with the disorder l assumed I had.”

how? if someone thinks they’re nd, they have a legitimate reason for thinking so. either they have another neurodivergency than the one they thought they had, or they’re neurotypical and need to figure themself out and have a need for support. either way, they learned more about the specific neurodivergency, more about the nd community, and more about themself. i don’t see how that’s a bad thing.

if you think self-diagnosed people’s experiences inherently have less value, that is straight up ableism. especially considering that other marginalized identities and minorities have trouble getting professional diagnoses, you might also be bigoted in some other way. or at the very least, refusing to acknowledge your privilege.

“only one more I promise”

i don’t want it

“I understand that doctors are expensive and professionals can get it wrong,”

okay. if you understand this, then dm me your information so i can bill you for the cost of my professional diagnoses, the cost for my therapy sessions, the cost for my medicine, and the cost for transportation to and from all these places. PLUS the cost of the work and school i’ll be missing for these sessions. 🤲

“but self diagnosis can be really harmful to yourself or others.”

nah, you’re just ableist and a gatekeeper lol

“If you feel like you have a disorder, go see a psychiatrist, you may have it.”

[remembers when i went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with two major symptoms of a personality disorder and said i had other symptoms of the pd as well but refused to diagnose me with the actual personality disorder because i was a minor at the time and he told me “kids don’t have personalities so they can’t have personality disorders”. i understand being weary about diagnosing children with personality disorders because they aren’t fully developed but this dude straight up told me that i didn’t have a personality. this man literally only worked with children so that means he literally never diagnosed personality disorders. this man was literally just lazy and didn’t care about his patients. this man also refused to believe me when i told him the medicine he prescribed me made my symptoms worse and even made me hallucinate. he ignored me and refused to change my medicine so eventually i just changed psychiatrists and they put me on a new medicine that DIDNT make my symptoms worse and DIDNT make me hallucinate. also i looked it up after our session and apparently ONLY people with my pd and related ones experience hallucinations on that certain medication. it’s almost like his refusal to diagnose me and ignoring my symptoms/concerns harmed me. this man also constantly misgendered me and told me that homosexuality and transgenderism should’ve still been in the dsm. like golly, it’s almost as if being queer and neurodivergent in an extremely conservative state is harmful and dangerous. and that psychiatrists aren’t immune from being homophobic and transphobic and ableist.] but yes :) perhaps i should see another psychiatrist in this conservative state :)

“I don't want to undermine anyone's actual experiences, but it can be dangerous.”

then stop undermining people’s actual experiences :)

no ❤️

“If you feel like something's wrong, go see a professional.”

the whole point of the neurodiversity movement is that there IS no such thing as a “normal” brain, so saying that neurodivergent people have something “wrong” with them is ableist.

💰 🤲 hand it over

“I don't want to offend, I just don't want anyone to get mislead or hurt. :)”

you absolutely meant to offend. you literally said that self-diagnosed people’s experiences aren’t valid and have less value than people who have professional diagnoses

i know more people who have been (and personally have been) mislead and hurt by professionals than by simply existing as a self-diagnosed person

also i want to say that being pro-self dx is NOT being anti-professional/formal diagnosis. i think that people should absolutely get a professional diagnosis (if they are able to without negative repercussions)! being pro-self dx is more inclusive of marginalized people (like people of color, women, lgbtq+ people, people with multiple disabilities, etc). pro-self dx is simply just saying that professional diagnosis isn’t the only option

(neurotypical people and anti-self dx people don’t add anything; pro-self dx neurodivergent people are allowed to add with their experiences if they want)

#asks #long post #nd adventures #ableism tw #sexism tw #racism tw #transphobia tw #misgendering mention #medical abuse mention #not star trek #homophobia tw

[kitkatopinions]

I’m probably over thinking/over complicating things but Ironwood and Penny have been really bothering me. It because prior to the moment that destroyed Penny’s arc the show and Ruby were really pushing that Penny not matter her body was human and that’s a very positive I like that especially when it comes to characters of Penny’s nature.

So my problem kicks in when I think of Ironwood. Namely this part in his song:

“What if it's true as they say

That I don't have a heart

That I'm more a machine than a man?”

Like wtf. I mean I “get it” especially with that dumbass line of Winter. But when it’s talked about Ironwood it was always in reference to the fact that his body is half robotic and there for we are meant to see the correlation between his body and his character.?

Put next to Penny’s message that really bothers me. Even more so since Penny gets a “reward” of becoming human, but the writers push that Ironwood sacrificing his arm to stop Watts and replacing it (a medical decision that could be debated given that he wanted to be up and able immediately to handle things not to mention that fact that nerves and muscle are severely fucked up) with a new (uncharacteristically uncovered) prosthetic means that he’s moving away from humanity. This thought has been driving nuts for a week.

I don’t think you’re overthinking at all. The writers have been pretty blatant about what they think of disabled people.

On the topic of James, 1. They wrote their triple amputee character to be coded as losing his humanity. This is suspect from the get go, but writers imo need to be especially careful and sensitive when they display things like villains with prosthetics. CRWBY is not careful and sensitive. 2. They specifically connected the loss of his limb to the loss of his humanity outside of the show, and as you said, his new prosthetic is uncharacteristically uncovered as well, and there were some pointed shots showcasing his arm and emphasizing it before showing Ironwood doing something wrong as well as a shot that particularly bothered me of them having James fall to Winter when his aura broke and then them immediately flashing to a fallen, broken robotic soldier. Tying the loss of someone’s humanity to them losing a limb / gaining a prosthetic in any way is wrong imo. There are better ways to display someone’s loss of humanity than villainizing the loss of his arm, and I don’t care what justifications people have for ‘they just meant to say that he was too impatient to-’ Idc. Tying the loss of humanity to the gaining of a prosthetic is wrong. 3. They never once treated Ironwood’s clear PTSD, history of mental health problems, and trauma with any sympathy, instead spending their time ragging on him for not wanting to feel his pain anymore and condemning him for... Trying to control his emotions. 4. CRWBY also gave him a semblance and explained how it worked by saying he hyper focused, talking about how James’ passive semblance that he can’t control forces him to focus on one single goal and fixate. I’m not disabled, but I do hyper fixate. It’s not something I can control, and to see it used as a justification for evil (in one of my favorite characters in the series who reminded me of my father lol) and being treated as something bad... It doesn’t feel good. I can’t imagine how other people must feel who are much more affected by this than I am. 5. As you say, the writers go out of their way to reference his metal body as being more ‘machine than man’ and make lines about him being heartless. And yeah, I get that he’s an allegory for the ‘Tin Man’ from Wizard of Oz but ffs the Tin Man had always had a heart and I honestly thought that was what they were going for in V3 with Qrow commenting that sometimes he thought James didn’t have a heart and the audience seeing Ironwood’s actions as questionable, only for the entire show to tell us repeatedly that he actually is a caring and good person who’s willing to destroy all the forces he was proud to show off if it means saving lives and was actually pretty freaking blameless in the Fall of Beacon and was super kind to the kids and when the chips were down, Qrow and Glynda both absolutely knew without even questioning that James would never ever willingly hurt the world or fully betray them and had absolutely no hand in the Beacon attack. Like, I’m sorry, but between Penny and Ironwood, season eight is the season of taking well done character allusions and throwing them out the window for the exact opposite moral done incredibly poorly. And anyway, getting off of that rant, making a ‘more machine than man’ sentiment tied around a triple amputee character is incredibly harmful and hurtful to people with disabilities and only propagates the real world stereotypes against people like James.

So, yes, their treatment of Ironwood, his mental health, and specifically his disabilities was so badly done, harmful, incredibly insensitive, and frankly, appalling that it came from grown adult writers in 2019-2021! But, as you point out, it’s not just Ironwood. And here’s where things really get bad for CRWBY. Because Ironwood alone is enough for me to say they were ableist - unintentionally or otherwise - and ought to apologize for the hurt they’ve caused their fans. But when you get into the rest of their treatment of characters with metal prosthetics or non-flesh elements to their body, it becomes a pattern.

Penny’s entire body is removed from her on threat of death, with the justification that it’s hurting her and that her body is just a machine and not part of who she is, contradicting Penny’s earlier themes of self-acceptance and validating her humanity in the body she already had. She then dies by assisted suicide in a way that feels unneeded, after having asked to be killed earlier in the narrative. So many people have talked about how destructive her story became in V8 and how it personally hurt them, especially non-binary people, trans people, autistic people, or disabled people who saw themselves in Penny or saw in her arc something that they could relate to, only to have Penny’s differences stripped away from her, having her conform to normal body standards and have her previous body type invalidated by her friends, and then they had her killed via assisted suicide in an unbelievable way, insisting as well that she never made a choice before she was a flesh-person and couldn’t feel things right. It’s all horribly done, but it’s important to remember that while Ironwood is accused of losing his humanity as he loses a third limb and gets a third prosthetic, Penny’s earlier validation is taken away and is instead only granted and she is only justified as a person when she loses all her ‘nuts and bolts’ and becomes a flesh person. And then she’s killed anyway.

Yang’s prosthetic is the least ill handled, but it is still dismissed as ‘just extra’ despite her former fairly strong arc of coming to terms with her disability and making it a part of her. She casually justifies what’s happening with Penny despite Penny not being in a position of adequate consent. Yang’s trauma and PTSD also vanished when Adam died at the end of season six and in my opinion, that situation was handled very badly.

Maria and Pietro, two other disabled characters, disappeared, left when Amity fell and were not even mentioned iirc since. Not even when Penny is awake, not even when they’re evacuating, not even when Penny is choosing to die. She never brings up her father. And Ruby’s supposed ‘mentor’ who never had an actual narrative role that couldn’t have been filled by Qrow and has had nothing to do since season six even past that is also forgotten out in the tundra and not mentioned again.

The writers go out of their way to have Winter say that because she was just following orders (a statement that contradicts her previous character imo) and pushing down her emotions, she was the real machine, whereas Penny had been human underneath her apparently easily tossed aside and destructive previous metal body.  And I don’t know if this means anything, but in that scene where she and Penny meet when Penny is dying and transferring the maiden powers to Winter, Winter is in her V7 character design, instead of wearing her assistive brace. Like I said, I don’t know if I’m reading into that, but with everything else, it feels like an iffy choice.

So yeah. In the past season CRWBY specifically cultivated a pattern of disrespect, dismissal, and villainization of any non-flesh attributes in my opinion. It seems pretty intentional and clear to me, but I’m willing to accept that maybe this was just a wildly bad uneducated mistake. Here’s the thing about that, though, after the Faunus/Racism allegory, the CRWBY writers should’ve learned their lesson and not touched on any real world topics that they weren’t willing to do the research on and treat with the sensitivity and care and respect the topics needed. Their Faunus/Racism allegory was harmful and hurtful and frankly could’ve sunk them in the water, they should’ve learned to put much more care and effort into their work or stayed the hell away from anything that could further spread the negative stereotypes surrounding real world people. But they didn’t learn their lesson and they’ve continued to push harmful narratives with no awareness or sensitivity. I don’t think you’re over-reacting at all, I think this is something that - intentionally written or otherwise - the writers should be called out on, or they’re just going to continue writing harmful narratives.

Also, I am not disabled, many of my opinions on the treatment of these characters comes from posts I’ve seen from many disabled or neurodivergent RWBY fans (or former RWBY fans,) or other people more affected by these narratives - minus the thing I said about Winter appearing without her brace when she talks to Penny, as it was something I just noticed while typing out this post. Since I’m not disabled, I’m not the best person to talk about these things, so if I got anything wrong in this, anyone more affected, please know you can let me know and I can edit and fix.

#rwde #rwby bashing #anti rwby #anti crwby #anti MKEK #rwby hate #if anyone comes in the comments invalidating or justifying I'll block #pro james ironwood #pro Ironwood #ironwood defense