#and even better to go into detail about my broken character's past

[3hks]

How to Write an IMPACTFUL Backstory

Honestly, writing and reading about backstories is probably one of my favorite parts of a character's story! It's a strong foundation for a character's goals, motives, thoughts, and actions! Its most powerful effect, on the other hand, is its ability to change one's view on a character. So, then, how do we write such an impactful past?

For beginners, the more tragic the backstory, the better. While this does hold some truth, let me re-iterate that it's for beginners. The idea behind it is that a pure, devastatingly pitiful backstory is unique and pulls at your reader's heartstrings. Unfortunately, instead, we're left with an origin story that feels superficial, overly-dramatic, unnecessary, and shallow. However in this post, I will give you some tips on how to avoid creating such 2D backgrounds and actually bring your character's past to life!

First, your character's backstory can be made with whatever components you choose, but the key is that you must balance them out correctly. Additionally, the majority of the time, you do want their story to stick out, so I suggest trying to come up with something original! It's much harder than it sounds, but honestly, every other protagonist has dead parents at this point. Be creative, add details, and don't be afraid to let your character go through things if you feel that it's fitting!

Second, don't extend their past for too long. The point of introducing the backstory is to elaborate on a (few) certain event(s) that affected your character the most and forever changed their lives. Keep it centered around one, or at most, a couple events.

Next, most writers tend to use sadness and/or to fuel the character, but it should not be overbearing and excessive. Alternatively, it should feel GENUINE. Not dramatic, but genuine. Different genres do form different types of backstories, yes, but the core concept behind it should be something natural. It should be something that your readers will be able to understand; something authentic. They should feel some sense of relatability, even if it's just a little. This could be like family issues, broken friendships, betrayals, leaving someone, mental struggles, loneliness, etc. Complexity can surround these concepts, but the basic, fundamental ideas should still be present.

Furthermore, be sure that their backstory makes sense. Even if you're introducing it through quick, brief flashbacks, ultimately, you want the reader to have all the pieces to solve the puzzle.

Last but not least, make your backstory feel personal to your character! Build it in a sense that if it were to go to any other character, it wouldn't have an effect that's as severe. Make it targeted to its owner. While this is something that can be difficult to execute, it really provides insight to your character, and is an easy way to add some intricacy to a simple backstory! A good place to start is thinking about the things personal to your character. For instance, this could be their past before the event, people they care about, their morals, etc. Then, add it in said event so that it pushes and/or challenges your character in a way that makes them re-evaluate that value.

There you go! Here are my personal tips on how to upgrade your character's backstory and have it really impact your reader! Be creative, keep it centered around a couple things, make it genuine, and make it targeted to the character!

Happy writing~

3hks <3

#writing #writeblr #writerscommunity #writing tips #writing inspo #creative writing #writing advice #thank you #how to write a backstory #tips to writing a backstory #backstory #character creation #oc writing #character writing #writing a backstory

[itscherrylipsforme]

Everything fits into place: Oliver Quick x fem!reader

Part 1 here

Summary: After having fallen in love with you at an Oxford's library, Oliver planned everything out until he could have you wrapped around his fingers. Now that your school year is over, you have been invited to spend the firsts months of Summer in Saltburn. You were certainly not expecting what you found there, but don't worry, Ollie was already three steps ahead

Warnings: Post Saltburn fic, a little bit dark (it’s Oliver, what you expected?), age gap (he is around 15-17 years older), slightly innocent kin? (A little bit spicy, but nothing really sexual)

Requested: yes

Words: Something between 700-800 words

Author's rambles: As I have seen that people somehow enjoyed my shitty writing I decided to make part two. Hope you like it!

Masterlist Characters I write for

Likes and reblogs are appreciated ღ

I do not authorize any of my works to be copied, translated or plagiarized ✗

Oliver hadn't told you much about Saltburn, you could only gather the crumbs of information he left once in a while. A beautiful big home in the northwest that he had inherited from a woman he considered to be kind of his "second mother" after she passed away, that was all that you knew about it. Once he also he mentioned that she had met her through her son, who had been in Ollie's year in uni, that had committed suicide when both of them were young. All of that seemed like tragic memories that your boyfriend tried to bury in his past, so you didn't want to dig much on it not to hurt him.

But during the three hours long car ride that you had to do from Oxford to your Summer destination, you were expecting that at least he could describe it with more the detail. To your surprise he didn't and when the two of you arrived at the mansion he was able to call "home" now, just surprised was not the exact word you would use to describe what you were feeling. When the maid who had opened the doors of that palace to the two of you was ordered to dismiss by "Mr Quick" as they referred him, you couldn't help but ask.

"Why didn't you tell me you were practically living like a prince, Ollie?"

"Had to make sure you truly loved me and weren't after my money, darling" He answered plainly and tried to change the subject "Come on, let me show you the place"

"You know I am not like that" You protested. Maybe you wouldn't go as far as saying that you were offended, but you would be lying if you said his words didn't hurt a little at least.

You trusted him with every piece of your heart and soul. Told him all your secrets and all the times you had lost all your hope. You loved him enough to talk about it when you fell like nothing more like some broken mess that no one, not even him, could fix. And yet he couldn't do the same? Couldn't he trust enough for this until now Somehow Oliver managed to read your thoughts from the expression of worry on your face

"My beautiful beautiful y/n I am aware of It now. But trust me, I know better than anyone else how far people can go to gain power, I needed to be sure" His eyes seemed to darken a little for a few brief second lost in his mind until he came back and rested his hand sweetly on your cheek "How can I apologize to my beloved girlfriend for putting her through a trial?"

"Well, one of the few things you did tell me about this place was that it had a library" A little grin played on your lips while he held your hand and guided you through the maze that mansion was.

Four weeks later, you two were laying in the bed you have been sharing during your stay. His arm around your waist a little bit too tight, as you had learned he liked, and your head resting on the crock of his neck. It was one of those lazy mornings that you could spend peacefully in each other embrace.

"You know every day for the rest of our life could be like this" His nose and lips dancing dangerously close to your face as his hand rubbed your back up and down.

"Ollie, that was a funny one" A small giggle echoed in the room.

"I am serious y/n" His big blue eyes glued to you as he started kissing, your forehead, your cheek, your lips... "We could sooner than later. Marry, have you in my bed each morning, and maybe a few kids around if you are up for it. Doesn't it sound good for your"

"I need to finish my degree first, Ollie" His lips now on your neck, and gosh he knew pretty well that you couldn't say no to anything when he did those kind of things.

"Of course you have that, I am not saying otherwise" Actually, you didn't need to finish it, once you were his you wouldn't have to work a single day in your life. But if you wished to gain your diploma to be happy, he wouldn't dare to say otherwise. "Maybe after you graduated, what do you think about?"

You just smiled at his sweet trail of kisses, and he took it as a yes. Soon enough you would be tied forever, soon enough you would be his wife, soon enough you two would be better than the Cattons have ever been. Soon enough, everything from his plan would fit into place.

#oliver quick x reader #oliver quick x y/n

[dekusleftsock]

Yada yada, kudou looked through Izuku’s memories and saw big gay thoughts, but we already knew they were gay. Of course they were gay. They’ve always been gay.

YOU KNOW WHAT I WANNA TALK ABOUT? THIS OFA QUIRKLESS THING!

It’s so FASCINATING! And I know I’m late to the party (school, work, life, depression, art block, the list could go on) but all I can think about is the trust that this entire situation holds.

On one hand, Izuku has to trust Kudou and his abilities. Defeating him from the inside out is probably the only way Izuku will win at this point.

And on the other hand, Izuku in his own way, is having to trust shigaraki, something he hasn’t done nor even considered before. He sees that little boy inside of him, but there’s more to that little boy. The man that stands before him, broken and beaten and shattered emotionally by society, is a person too. It truly doesn’t matter that the boy exists; yes it’s a way for Izuku to understand that concept of “heroes and villains are cut from the same cloth”, but it’s also the understanding that even when someone has fucked up their life, still deserves to be treated as a person for doing so. Everyone, EVERYONE, deserves the right to be and feel like a real and alive human being.

To me, it’s in the same vain as Izuku as a little boy. We could go over he details ALL DAY as to how he became the person he is, what could’ve been different, what could’ve happened. But at the end of the day, the only thing that changes the past is how we view it; Katsuki knows this.

There’s a part of me that whenever I see a fanfic where Katsuki meets his old middle school self that he hates him, wants to kick him down, humble him, whatever other verb here:

But that small part of me always thinks that it’s… oddly out of character.

Okay, comparing Katsuki and Izuku, who is more ashamed of their pasts?

If you guessed Izuku (and you agree with me), tell me what exactly inclines you to think that?

Because the difference between them is who accepts themself, and who doesn’t.

Accepting yourself doesn’t just mean, accepting that you were a bad person but you’re better now so it’s okay. No, I think that’s actually more complex than implied.

In my opinion, seeing your past actions as something to forgive is important too. Katsuki meeting his middle school self may seem like an aggressive cat fight in idea, but it practice may turn into high school Katsuki being unaffected by middle school him. He knows why he thought what he did, understands that it was bad, but also understands why that mindset came to be. He can be sorry to Izuku AND sorry to himself.

Izuku I think feels a sense of shame for his middle school self, especially that weakness. He cried more in middle school too; he didn’t try. That’s what he’s most mad about and unable to forgive himself for, he didn’t try.

And to an extent, Izuku has to learn that his perception of his past is what matters most: Shigaraki is the same.

Shigaraki as a little boy could’ve lived better circumstances. He could’ve found a hero and been saved. He could’ve had this or that or made a better decision. And I think a small part of him feels guilty for it. Shigaraki also doesn’t accept his past.

Ofa being taken away, as saddening as it may seem to fans, was always an ending I was hoping for. Of course I could be wrong and by the end of the manga he still has it, and while I’d still be happy with that ending… I just really want Izuku to let himself be a human being. A flawed one, with things he could or could not change, and accepting that fact.

After all, “You’re still human.” Right?

And sorry to bring up the girls again, but part of the key components to saving Himiko were trusting her, and not clinging to a small part of her. She wanted to see and know Himiko as she is, not who she was.

That’s this dudes problem; even if he wants to tear that rug to pieces, there’s certain ideas that hold him back. Think, the idea that your emotions matter less over others, or hating yourself for flaws that nearly every human being has.

Izuku saving Shigaraki has always always always been about saving himself too, and I love that.

Izuku had to trust Katsuki in this battle, trust allmight, trust Ochako, trust people. He had to let them take the wheel, the burden. Maybe he and Shigaraki can lift that burden for themselves too. His mask is broken, he’s become a monster blackwhip thing…

What’s your move Izuku?

#bkdk #midoriya izuku #mha deku #bkdk brainrot #bakudeku #bnha deku #bakugou katsuki #mha analysis #mha spoilers #mha 413 #that’s the chapter right? #idfk #I got more thoughts pls hold on while I make myself write to death finally🙏🙏

[50calmadeuce]

Ch. 19: A Better Offer

Warning: Mention of miscarriage. Some chapters have sex.

Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Top Gun: Maverick world, trademarked by Paramount Pictures Corporation. I do not claim ownership of the characters and the world that I am borrowing.

The story and situation I am creating are a work of my imagination and I do not ascribe them to official story canon. This work is for entertainment only and is not a part of the storyline.

I am not profiting financially from the creation and publication of this story, but I do hope it gives you happy thoughts.

These stories are my own, so please do not take them and use them for yourself without my permission. If you see them somewhere else, please let me know. :)

The following morning found yourself in front of the living room window, absorbing the tranquil beauty of the sunrise while Jake showered. You wore lounge wear and with a freshly brewed pot of coffee prepared, you cradled a cup in your hands, savoring the warmth and aroma. The sound of the shower running and the peaceful sunrise offered a moment of calm reflection as you thought about last night and the last 4 years of your "relationship" with Jake.

As the first rays of sunlight painted the sky in shades of orange and pink, your thoughts meandered through the complexity of emotions and events in the last week and a half that had brought you to this moment. Yet, despite the challenges, there was a resilience to your bond with Jake, a tether that, although stretched, had never broken.

You took a sip of your coffee, the rich flavor grounding you in the present. The sound of the water in the shower ceased, signaling Jake's imminent appearance soon.

You realized that the path forward wasn't about erasing the past but rather about learning from it. It was about acknowledging the pain and the mistakes, but also the love that had endured through it all. The challenge would be to integrate your lives in a way that respected both your independence and your unity as a couple.

As you dwelled on the intimacy of last night, its significance began to resonate even more profoundly. You were always aware that Jake loved with intensity, but the depth of his affection and vulnerability revealed in those moments gave you a new understanding of just how profound his love truly was. This realization highlighted a powerful commonality between you two: both of you loved deeply, with a passion and intensity that was a foundational pillar of your relationship.

Jake came out of the bedroom, clad in his flight suit, ready for the day. "That coffee smells wonderful," he commented, making his way towards the coffee pot.

"There's a travel mug I got for you. It's in the cabinet," you replied, pointing him towards the new purchase designed to keep his coffee warm on the go.

He opened the cabinet, his eyes quickly finding the U.S. Navy travel mug. Setting it on the counter, he filled it with the freshly brewed coffee. "Thanks, darlin'," he said, appreciation evident in his voice.

You heard the sound of the cup being sealed and then his footsteps approaching. Soon, he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you gently into his embrace, and planted a kiss on your cheek.

"Morning," he greeted you warmly, his voice close and affectionate.

"Good morning," you responded, leaning into his embrace, feeling the solidity and warmth of him grounding you further. The simplicity of the gesture, the comfort of his proximity—it was these small moments that you realized you had missed the most during the years of separation and sporadic communication.

Turning slightly within the circle of his arm, you faced him, looking up into his eyes. "Did you sleep well?" you asked, genuinely interested in even the smallest details of his existence. These were the daily intricacies you had been absent from, the minutiae that, when woven together, formed the fabric of a shared life.

He grinned, a look of genuine contentment on his face. "I did. Haven't slept that good since we were in Wisconsin or at my parent's house."

His presence, the smell of coffee mingling with the fresh scent of his shower, created a cozy, domestic scene that you wanted to etch into your memory. It was a stark contrast to the turbulent emotions and the vast distances that had characterized much of your marriage. But here, in this moment, with the morning light casting a gentle glow around you, there was a sense of peace, a feeling that, perhaps, everything could indeed be alright.

"And you?" he inquired, turning his attention to how you slept.

You leaned further into his embrace, comforted by his presence. "Wonderfully. Thank you for asking," you replied, appreciating his concern. You sensed him take another sip of his coffee, the warmth of the moment shared between you two.

"What are your plans for today?" he inquired, showing interest in how you'd be spending your day.

"I'm going to check on some emails and then go from there. Do you need me to drive you to work?" you offered, ready to assist him with his commute if necessary.

"No. Coyote is on his way," he replied, indicating that arrangements had already been made for his transportation.

At that moment, a knock sounded at the door. Jake gently turned you to face him. "That's Coyote," he said, giving you a kiss. "I love you." He then moved to answer the door.

"I love you too," you called after him, your words carrying the weight of your feelings.

Coyote entered. "Morning, Y/N."

"Morning, Coyote. You two have a good day," you said, offering them both a smile and well wishes for the day ahead.

"We will," they assured you together, their voices blending in harmony as they exited, the door closing softly behind them.

You pivoted back towards the window, immersing yourself once again in the tranquil beauty of the sunrise. The serene colors of dawn painted the sky, providing a peaceful backdrop as you took a moment to enjoy the quiet morning.

After your shower, you settled at the kitchen table, your laptop open in front of you. You took a sip of your coffee, enjoying the quiet of the morning when your phone dinged, breaking the silence. Reaching for it, you saw a text message from Dr. Colson on the screen. He was asking if you could get in touch with him.

You quickly texted him back, agreeing to initiate a video call, then placed your phone down on the table. Switching to your laptop, you initiated the call to Dr. Colson.

"Y/N! How are you?" Dr. Colson greeted enthusiastically as he accepted the call, his face appearing on your screen.

"Hi, Jason. I'm doing fine," you responded, offering a smile through the screen.

Jason glanced around, noticing the difference in your background. "You're not in your office?"

"No. I'm actually in San Diego," you explained, watching his reaction.

"San Diego?" Jason echoed, surprise evident in his voice.

"Yeah, Jake got called back for a mission and he leaves this Friday," you explained.

Dr. Colson leaned back in his chair, the surprise morphing into understanding as he processed your news. "Ah, I see. That must be quite the adjustment for both of you," he commented thoughtfully. "How are you handling it?"

You paused for a moment, considering how much to share. "It's been… challenging," you admitted. "But we're trying to make the most of the time we have before he leaves."

Jason nodded sympathetically, understanding the complexity of your situation. He then shifted his focus, leaning in slightly. "Anyways, I wanted to talk to you about that Wyoming project."

"Oh, yes!" you responded, your interest piqued.

"Are you still interested?" he asked, a hint of hope in his tone.

"I would love to, but I need to check with my work on when I can do it," you admitted, the prospect exciting yet challenging.

"Dr. Stryker will, of course, be in charge of it again," Jason mentioned, observing your reaction closely.

You shrugged. "That's fine," you replied, your tone neutral.

Dr. Colson studied you for a moment. "Y/N. Did something happen during the first book writing? I've known you for a while now, and I consider you a good friend." His concern was genuine, hinting at the depth of your relationship beyond professional boundaries.

You sighed, a weight seemingly pressing on your shoulders as you prepared to share. "While in Wyoming, Dr. Stryker and I became friends. Pretty close friends, actually. He knew about Jake and everything I was going through, but he kind of took it the wrong way. I told him I just wanted to be friends."

The vulnerability in your voice conveyed the complexity of the situation, hinting at the discomfort and misunderstanding that had arisen from the friendship.

"The day we were at your office before the conference, he told me he still had feelings for me and that he still thought about me. I told him I didn't."

"Y/N. Why didn't you say something?" Jason's voice carried a mix of concern and surprise, reflecting his wish that you had confided in him sooner about the discomfort and tension you were experiencing.

"I was already dealing with enough; I didn't want to put that on someone else, and I left to go back home anyways." Your response highlighted a desire to manage your burdens independently, avoiding adding any stress or complications to others' lives, despite the personal challenges you were facing.

"Well, then how about something different?" Jason suggested, his tone changing, hinting at a new possibility.

You looked at him, intrigued by the shift in the conversation.

"A new grant project just came across my desk specifically asking for you."

Puzzled, you looked at him. "For me? But I don't even work for Texas A&M."

"Well, you made a really good impression on someone here at the conference." Jason's words implied that your expertise and demeanor had caught the attention of influential individuals, opening up unexpected opportunities.

"They want you to be in charge of the livestock study in the upper half of Wisconsin, so you can actually manage this project from home." Jason's announcement revealed an exciting opportunity that not only recognized your capabilities but also accommodated your personal circumstances, allowing you to contribute significantly while remaining in your own environment.

Your eyebrows rose in surprise, processing the unexpected turn the conversation had taken. "That's…wow, Jason. I'm honored they'd consider me for such a project, especially given my current commitments and location. But how did this come about?"

Jason leaned back, a grin playing at the corners of his mouth. "It seems your work on the previous project, your book, and your presentation here have made quite the impression. Plus, your approach to integrating practical experience with academic research caught someone's eye. They're looking for someone with your unique blend of skills to lead this study."

The possibility excited you, offering a new avenue to apply your expertise while potentially opening doors for future collaborations and projects. "And I'd be able to manage this remotely, from Wisconsin?"

"Exactly," Jason confirmed. "They're looking for someone who understands the local environment, livestock management practices, and has a strong research background. You'd be coordinating with a team, but the bulk of the project management can be done from wherever you're most comfortable."

Taking a moment to ponder the offer, you realized the potential impact this project could have on your career and personal goals. It was a chance to delve into a subject you were passionate about while also providing the flexibility you needed to maintain your commitments to Jake and your home life.

"Jason, this sounds like an incredible opportunity. I'm definitely interested. What are the next steps? How do I find out more about the project specifics and expectations?"

"We can set up a meeting with the project sponsors and the main stakeholders at Texas A&M. They're eager to discuss the project with you, go over the goals, and see how you envision leading this study. I'll coordinate with them to find a time that works for everyone."

"Thank you, Jason. Really, I appreciate you bringing this opportunity to me. Let's set up that meeting some time next week. I'm eager to learn more and see how I can contribute to the success of the project."

"Sounds like a plan. I'll touch base with you this weekend?"

"Yeah, that should work. If anything comes up on my end, I'll let you know."

"Sounds good. And tell Jake I said hi."

"I will. Thanks again, Jason." You ended the call, feeling a mix of anticipation for the new project and gratitude for the unexpected support.

"So, how did you end up with someone as amazing as Y/N?" Phoenix inquired of Jake as they exited the classroom. "She just seems way beyond your usual catch."

Jake quirked an eyebrow in response. "And what expertise do you have on the kind of women I'm interested in?"

Phoenix shrugged, her expression transforming into a teasing smile. "Could be your charm at work."

Jake glanced at her, slightly amused. "That's my piloting skills you're thinking of, not my romantic life."

Phoenix chuckled, shaking her head. "Fair point. But seriously, there must be something. Y/N is impressive. How'd you convince her to stick around with a daredevil like you?"

"It's all about that Hangman charm, Phoenix," he declared with a confident smirk.

Phoenix rolled her eyes again, her tone laced with mock annoyance. "To me, it comes off more as an irritation, but sure, keep seeing it your way."

"There's no need to imagine anything, Phoenix. I'm married to an incredible woman."

"I won't argue with that. I'm just curious how you managed to win over such an amazing woman."

Jake's laughter filled the air, a testament to the comfortable camaraderie between them, even amidst the teasing. "Like I've been telling you, it's all down to the Hangman charm."

Phoenix simply shook her head, amusement dancing in her eyes. "You're an idiot."

You were wrapping up with your final email of the day when the sound of the apartment door swinging open broke the silence. Jake stepped inside, greeting you with a warm, "Hey, darlin'," as he shut the door behind him and made his way over to you.He planted a quick kiss on your lips. "How was your day?" he inquired, his face lighting up with a broad smile.

You knew your husband too well and wondered why he was so happy. "Actually, my day was really good. Should I be concerned that you're so happy?"

"Nope," he responded, with an air of casual nonchalance and then looked you up and down. "You didn't get dressed today?"

You shrugged, slightly puzzled. "Why would I be? I just went through emails all day. Didn't even step out."

"Find anything positive?" he inquired, heading towards the fridge to fetch a beer.

"Actually, yes. Do you recall the Wyoming project Dr. Stryker offered me to collaborate on?"

You noticed Jake's body stiffen at the mention of the name. "Yeah," he replied, as he grabbed a bottle opener and opened his beer. He then slowly started walked towards you.

"I'm not going to take it. I talked with Jason about what happened the last time."

"But, Y/N, wasn't that what you were aiming for?" He asked, settling into the chair opposite you.

"Yes, it was. But I've been offered a grant for a different project closer to home. It allows me to work remotely while still fulfilling my responsibilities."

Jake's eyes widened in surprise. "Really?"

"Yes, I'm planning to discuss the details with Jason next week, but from what I've heard so far, everything sounds ideal."

Jake closed his eyes, his face breaking into a contented grin.

Observing him, you ventured, "You didn't really want me to take that job in Wyoming, did you?"

He opened his eyes, meeting your gaze. "We're still committed to being honest with each other, right?"

You shot him a knowing look.

"Okay, I'll take that as a confirmation. But to answer your question, yes, I was secretly hoping you'd turn down that one."

Your expression softened at his admission, understanding the complexity of emotions that must have been swirling within him. "It's because of Dorian, isn't it?"

He paused to take a sip of his beer. "I cannot confirm or deny that statement."

You shut your laptop, signaling the end of that conversation thread. "Don't worry about it. I had my reservations too."

"So, what's the project about?"

"From what I've gathered, it's a study on livestock. I'll probably have a clearer picture after my discussion with Jason next week."

Jake let out a sigh. "You know, my deployment is just a few days away. When we first got married, leaving didn't seem as tough. Why does it feel so different this time?"

"I believe last time, we hadn't fully grasped the impact of loss on one another. Now that we understand, our relationship has evolved. Our love never waned, but we've had to learn how to heal together this past week and a half." Reaching out, you took his hand, squeezing it reassuringly.

"You know, Phoenix was wondering how I managed to end up with someone as incredible as you. Now, she's got me asking myself the same question."

You couldn't help but smile at his words, feeling a mix of warmth and amusement. "Was she now?" you asked, your tone light, teasing. "Well, it's quite simple, really. You charmed me with your undeniable charm."

"See! That's exactly what I told her!"

Jake’s response, laced with a playful pride, made you laugh. "Oh, is that so? Well, it must be true then," you played along, keeping the mood light and affectionate. "But in all honesty, Jake, it wasn't just the charm," you added, capturing his gaze with a look of sincerity. "It was your heart, your strength, and how you make me feel safe and loved. Those are the things that truly won me over."

He listened intently, his playful demeanor softening into one of warmth and affection. "I guess I'm just lucky then, to have found someone who sees me for more than just the pilot or the charm."

"And let's not forget to mention the cockiness and stubbornness," you added playfully.

Jake chuckled, the sound rich and full of affection. "Ah, yes, how could I forget those charming qualities?" he replied, his eyes twinkling with amusement. "They're part of the complete package, after all."

"You know, it's those very traits that somehow make you even more endearing to me," you confessed, a smile playing on your lips. "They remind me of your determination and passion, even if they do drive me up the wall sometimes."

He reached out, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear, his touch gentle. "Well, I suppose it's a good thing they work in my favor then. And just for the record, your patience and understanding with my less-than-perfect traits? That's part of what makes you so incredible to me." He cupped your face in his hands, and you closed your eyes, basking in the gentle warmth.

The moment stretched out, a small island of peace in the midst of life's relentless pace. His hands, strong yet so gentle, framed your face, and you could feel the weight of his affection, heavy and tangible in the air between you. When you opened your eyes, it was to find his gaze fixed on you, filled with an emotion so profound that it seemed to momentarily pause the world around you.

"Jake," you whispered, your voice carrying a mixture of love, gratitude, and a hint of the inevitable sadness that the thought of his departure brought. "I just want you to know... no matter where you are, or what happens, you're always with me. Right here." You placed your hand over your heart, the gesture simple but laden with meaning.

"And you're with me," he murmured back. "You make me a better man, Y/N. I carry your love with me, no matter where I go. It's what keeps me grounded, what gives me the strength to come back."

His words, so full of emotion and sincerity, resonated deep within you, wrapping around your heart like a comforting embrace. It was a powerful reminder of the strength of your connection, a bond that distance and time could not weaken.

In that moment, the world seemed to stand still, allowing you both to bask in the quiet strength of your love. It was a love that had grown and deepened through challenges and triumphs, a love that was resilient and enduring.

As you both lingered in the warmth of the moment, you realized that this was the essence of what it meant to truly be with someone. It wasn't just about the physical presence; it was about knowing that you carried a piece of each other within your hearts, no matter where life took you.

With a tender smile, you reached up, tracing the lines of his face with a gentle touch, memorizing every detail. "I'll be here, Jake. Holding down the fort, and counting the days until you return. You have my heart, always."

He leaned into your touch, his eyes reflecting the same depth of feeling. "And you have mine, Y/N. Always."

"It's going to be different this time, Jake."

"It will be," he concurred.

Tags: @buckysteveloki-me @bellyliveslife @tgmreader @callsign-barbell @86laura11 @dizzybee03 @kmc1989 @guacam011y @nerdgirljen @hookslove1592 @dempy @djs8891

#jake hangman seresin #jake seresin fanfiction #jake seresin x you #glen powell #hangman top gun #hangman #top gun maverick hangman #hangman fanfic #jake hangman x reader #top gun fanfic #jake seresin fic #jake seresin #jake hangman seresin x y/n #jake hangman fic #jake hangman imagine #jake hangman x you #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin fic #hangman x reader #hangman imagine #top gun hangman #hangman fanfiction

[skayafair]

I keep coming back to these lines because they're just this all-encompassing.

I'm amazed at how HG managed to create a character so relatable for so many minorities with seemingly no intention to whatsoever.

(a personal story under the more)

This is sort of personal, but. For the past ten years or so I've been untangling decades of trauma and broken coping mechanisms, misconceptions about myself and the world around, blindly stumbling on the way to my true self, the one that feels right. The last three or four years were full of revelations - I discovered I have ADHD, am very likely autistic, certainly agender, greyro and ace, which explained SO MUCH and made me feel infinitely better compared to how it was before, gave some clarity about how to live this life. I found the way I want to dress to look like myself despite never seeing the reflection in the mirror as "me" (and it was the way I always wanted to but had no means for that). And today my body of all things (my connection to which is very flimsy at best) brought an early birthday present: my whole life I wished my hair was wavy instead of straight, and today it turned out IT IS. Always has been, I just didn't know how to hadle it properly. Just another detail of how this being was supposed to be from the very beginning but never knew, always going the wrong way, fell into its rightful place.

I used to feel like an emply space while growing. No face, no one inside, no certain shape. Just emptiness, an observer following some vague average outline, searching for itself in vain, with occasional flashes of hot anger from the core personality hidden deep inside, of which I didn't know back then. One event back when I was 18 shattered me to the very core, demolishing even the mask that existed instead of me all this time and sending me to a new journey of self-discovery.

So feeling each little piece falling into place now feels like pulling a shattered being back together, repositioning, reassembling the pieces the way they were supposed to be to begin with, but into a totally new order at the same time.

I am trying to become the thing I should've been a long time ago.

And it doesn't come without pain indeed.

But every little win feels so great.

My chosen name is a promise to myself, a more certain shape, the person I'm trying to become, helping to move forward.

I started listening to Malevolent in fall of 2022 and it helped me so much since then. I can't even place my finger on how exactly, it was just so relatable on so many levels that became validating and encouraging? In any case, I'm grateful for John to no end. There's absolutely no question in why he became so important to so many people.

#john malevolent #john doe malevolent #personal

[nocturnalfandomartist]

💛 I Remember You 💛

Time Elapsed: 1 hour, 11 minutes

Program used: Ibis Paint X

(This doodle is me coping with the Tears of the Kingdom trailer and pretending they aren't about to be traumatized more).

BotW/ToTK will forever be my favorite version of Zelink. They've been through a whole lot together, and seeing them reunited at the end of BoTW is so sweet (especially in the context of the diaries outside of the English translation)! Such a shame everyone's probably dead. Oh well, it was nice while it lasted...

I cannot express enough how agonizing it has been to wait for more news on TotK! So when I saw a Nintendo Direct was coming up, I was unable to focus on anything else. I knew we were bound to get info, but I was NOT READY FOR THIS

Everything about that trailer was so well done, it makes the wait for May seem even longer! A few thoughts I had personally:

1. Ganondorf is pretty decent casting. I'm admittedly surprised he doesn't sound hoarse or anything considering he's a reanimated corpse, but it's still menacing!

2. I'm convinced Ganondorf and Zelda are going to take the forms/powers of Demise and Hylia at this point with all these parallels...

3. POSSIBLE MORE RUNES MAKE ME SO EXCITED! We thought Link getting a motorcycle gave us too much power... Now we have cars and mechanical gliders.

4. It doesn't seem Zelda is getting damseled! That makes me so happy. I figured she wouldn't be playable (unfortunately), but it at least seems she'll have a presence throughout the story! Perhaps a Skyward Sword situation where she must go on a journey of her own? Maybe in the form of flashbacks to the previous Zelda from 10,000 years ago? If it goes with a SS route, maybe that leaves room for a playable Zelda in post-game.

5. All the monsters look stronger than before, and there are even new ones! I tried to see if those dino bird things matched up with any classic enemies, but they didn't seem to be so. Either way, they're awesome!

6. I can't wait to explore where all the characters are after a potential time skip. Zelda especially! She got so much character in BotW, and I am going to love seeing more of it!

7. If Zelda doesn't end up becoming Hylia, I'm also wondering if the previous Zelda ends up being revealed to be the same one (same with Link) due to time travel shenanigans like in Skyward Sword.

8. If Zelda and Link don't kiss or address Zelda's feelings for him at least once I will be very sad (but I'll love the game anyway).

9. I hope to see the cycle broken here. That seems to be where this is leading! It would be great to watch Zelda and Link finish off Demise's curse once and for all and finally have the peace Hyrule has been fighting to have for eons.

10. Hopefully Link's diary won't be lost in translation this time! Adding those little details like that made BotW even better than it already was.

11. LINK THREW THE MASTER SWORD ASIDE TO CATCH ZELDA I CAN'T- But poor Fi. Hope she's doing okay with the whole Malice infestation thing. This is a stretch, but perhaps there will be a return of Ghirahim or his sword form. That'd be cool.

12. It looks like there's potential for more old-school dungeons! With the Divine Beasts seemingly inactive, Link may have to travel through monster-ridden ruins to drive them out of Hyrule.

13. I'm excited to see details on the time between BotW and TotK, like how Zelda got her hair cut! It'll be nice to see which NPCs changed and which haven't (Beedle is probably the same and will be the same even as all of existence crumbles around him).

14. Maybe the memory mechanic will be implemented again by Link recalling his past life 10,000 years ago?

Alright, sorry for the ramblings here. I'm too excited. I have lots more thoughts, but I'll share them in the future. May 12 can't come fast enough!

Reblogging is fine, but please don't post this anywhere else without linking the original post. Thanks!

#artists on tumblr #fanart #doodles #legend of zelda #link zelda #loz zelda #princess zelda #zelink #zelda x link #zelda #zelda fanart #loz fanart #link x zelda #zelda botw #botw fanart #botw zelink #totk trailer #totk zelink #zelda tears of the kingdom #tears of the kingdom #zelda breath of the wild #breath of the wild #zelink fanart #my art #fanart zelda

[mellowwillowy]

Detective I (fatui)

Yandere Fatui (?)x ?? Reader (their gender is confusing, see more on notes)

(feel free to insert whoever you want but I'll go with every Fatui in my tags bcs I'm nuts)

(OC version's link is ⬇️⬇️⬇️)

Notes : reader's gender is ambiguous until the end, sometimes perceived as a man, a woman, or just neither. Also it won't be a trivial matter if reader is understood and identified but hey, it's what they are feeling.

Warnings : major character death, yan got killed and defaced (details details, it's bloody), yan and reader are delusional in the end, reader is forced to eat their favorite animal, reader is drugged, fucked up term of love overall, intercourse, angst?? Yan will show up in the end of the story retelling (read summarizing) the whole past,

separate details for each harbingers (bundled)

For those who might complain :

Reader is AMAB, the mention of period is to ticks reader off. Also one word, Umineko.

___________________________________________

"ᵀʰᵉⁿ ᴵ ˢʰᵃˡˡ ˡᵒᵛᵉ ʸᵒᵘ ᵗᵒᵒ, ᵐʸ ᵈᵉᵃᵈ ᵈᵒᵛᵉ"

Hitting the keys of the typewriter at random, your fingernails are completely well-trimmed in a sense now. No, it would make even more sense to say that your nails have been scrapped from typing over and over. The scripts that would always be read by someone despite being filled with nothing but gibberish is now lying all over the floors. The current scripts contained the Truth of your heart. The person who'll always read it for you is in fact, dead and defaced. After all, you've been taught by them about love. This is love. They taught you so. Ahh, from where should we start? Let's start with our first board.

___________________________________________

i. Window

Snow. Everywhere. It covers the ground outside from the window into white. It'll leave footprints if you were to walk out. But it doesn't matter when you can't even leave this room, this cell. What starts with an exchange of conversations turned into the downfall of your whole existence. Had you known about this you would have avoided involving yourself with them. But God didn't let you. God only watched you fall into their grip, broken into pieces with your limbs toyed with and moved by them as though you were nothing but a marionette. God is cruel and yet he is also unforgiving, you thought. It's a shame that the subject of God's madness was you and not someone else.

"Longing for the outside world won't do you any good, dove"

They walk into your room with a tray of the bowl with steam coming out of it. They smile at you as they place the bowl on the table. You don't have to guess what the content inside the bowl is anymore. It's a dead animal for you to eat, this time it's all boiled into a soup. An animal you are familiar with because you are so fond of them, and now, they'll forcefully shove it down your throat as proof of love. You hold your stomach. It still makes you feel sick. The thought of them living inside your guts, it's unbearable.

At least they are not heartless enough to kill your pet.

To call it a pet wouldn't be the right term. It wanders into your room one day with a tag on them. You knew they were going to be killed for you to feast again but after they saw you played with it, they decided to let you keep it. It's only a pet because they acknowledge it to be so.

"I won't take what I've given you, and that pet of yours would be the proof"

Now, they slowly bring a spoonful of the soup into your lip after blowing the steam away. You know better than to stay persistent because hell, they are even much more persistent. Slowly, you open your mouth to swallow down the soup, it tastes like herbs you thought to yourself although another foreign taste is always there to invade your guts, scrunching it into disgust. This goes on and on until you finish everything up, having you clenching your stomach in confusion. Are you disgusted? Are you terrified? Are you mad? Are you... feeling normal about everything?

"Oh, my dove, my chimera... you truly are the only one I'll fancy for eternity..."

Chimera. Chimera they said. How ironic of them to call you a chimera when you are under their grasp already? Or perhaps you are not in their eyes? The all-seeing eyes that could unveil what's going on with your body, can't understand that they've had you under their grasp?

"I actually plan to use this today but let's not do it today hm? It's that time of the month again"

A bottle of aphrodisiac in their hand. For what? It's clear as the day already. But even so, you hate the fact that they have to press the 'that time of the month' to your face when you, as a matter of fact, will never be able to get that. They know that better than anyone. They are the ones who unveil the truth after all. This body is cursed in every way.

"But even so, a company wouldn't hurt. Let's head to bed now, dove"

Pantalone, Pierro, Capitano, Arlecchino

Doesn't mean to remind you of your old life as a woman. Only wishes for you to feel more like one by playing along with the period-time.

Childe, Dottore, Scaramouche

Only one word, a menace. Said that line just to tick you off. To remind you of your hopelessness with your own body and identity so that you break down even more.

Columbina, Sandrone, Rosalyne, Tsaritsa

Understands how you've been living as a woman until now and instead of playing along like the first one, they are actually very natural? about this. Will give you all the kinds of things that will soothe down your imaginary cramps instead of just, "oh you are on your period"

ii. Mystery Novel

In your hand is a novel, a mystery novel that was bought by them for you to kill time with. The riddles in it never fail to fascinate you. Truth after truth, piercing the lies into nothingness with the Culprit executed in the ending, whether figuratively or literally. Whenever you start reading it, your whole world shifts into one that is akin to the novel itself. You are the Detective and you are here to solve the riddles posed by the Writer.

But is the Writer truly just the Writer? One who only writes fictitious tales?

Looking back at yourself, you can also be the Detective in this world, reality. The riddle? Them. The detective? You. The Culprit? Them. Yes, with just a much more distorted view of reality, you'd be able to see them as a character from a novel, solving the riddles of 'what are their motives?'. Yes, by just wrapping an imaginary veil around your eyes, one that'll allow you to see everything as a riddle and plot, you'd be able to play as an actress, the Detective.

"I'm back, my dove"

Yes, the play begins now. This room is no longer a cell but instead, a stage of a theatre with lights following you and them. It's time for the Detective to reason and solve the riddle in front of them.

".... Welcome back, enigma"

iii. Typewriter

Today too, you type endlessly without anything in your mind. Gibberish. Almost none forms a word at all. Your eyes empty as your fingers play eagerly. Nevertheless, they'll always read it, drowning themself in your scripts. A plotless script, an unreadable curse, or a poem blocked by a language barrier?

"Today too, you write magnificently"

They say with an earnest smile plastered on their face. The face that says they understand everything despite the scripts only showing gibberish. How can they understand it when you yourself can't even understand it? How are you supposed to solve the riddle when you can't even understand yourself? Why does it feel so.. reversed now?

"Ah, I love this part the most"

They point at a word, a readable word. You examine the word, yes, examine. It takes you a while before you look back at them. This is not the first time they point at a word. How many times have they pointed it out? You are not sure, you don't want to remember it. But it's not the same for them. For them, it's a string of a curse. If they could combine it then it'll mark the end for them. A riddle for them.

"I'm looking forward to the next answer, dove"

It's ridiculous. Answer? You were only typing mindlessly and yet they consider it as a riddle? Your whole life has been a riddle itself. Perhaps you are just annoyed at how the Culprit in front of you is taking your role as the Detective. Yes, that's the only logical conclusion you can come up with, a reasoning. You too are looking forward to the next answer.

Pantalone, Pierro, Columbina, Capitano

The scripts are hidden by them whenever they finished reading them, placing them inside the bottle of wine. The bottles that are filled with your scripts are hidden somewhere inside the room that will be found by you in the end.

Childe, Sandrone, Rosalyne

The scripts that have a word in them are framed and nailed onto the wall, allowing them to read them freely whenever they wish to. Has a wall full of framed scripts.

Dottore, Capitano, Arlecchino

Will compile all the scripts into some sort of book for them to read when they are bored. It allows them to study the way you are typing even more in a way. Will slip in flower at the page where it shows certain words.

iv. Intercourse

The disgusting dinner has been laced with aphrodisiacs. You can feel your body heating up, twitching at every contact your skin made with. This is, of course, heading to bed and a make-out session will break out again.

"If I don't use this, you won't be able to feel any pleasure at all, dove"

Is it a woman's body, or a man's body instead? Either way, that doesn't shut the possibility of someone being able to feel pleasure by being touched right? They want you to feel how they feel, alas making you gulp down the aphrodisiac. With just a light touch from them, a whimper falls out of your mouth. The night is far from over, you thought to yourself. Unbuttoning what's covering your chest, only reveals a chest that a man would have, and yet what's down there is never one that an assigned male at birth would have. It would make sense if you are only 'flat' in a rare way but the fact that your period never came is enough to shut the possibility of you being a woman.

A body that can't even love someone completely and yet, they wrap their arms around your body in a way that shows their earnest love toward you. Maybe to simplify it, a body that can't even give love for them. A body that can't even be identified. And yet, they stare at it longingly, clouded with adoration and lust at the same time.

"Ah... this is the body, of the person I'll love for eternity..."

Unnecessary NSFW (pls skip minors or if you are not OK with it) but hey; I can team Pantalone, Scaramouche, Childe, Arlecchino, and Columbina going down there with your prostate while Capitano, Pierro, Rosalyne, Sandrone, and Tsaritsa being the sensual one

?. Devices and Plans

(Feel free to skip this part, it's mostly about the details of the plan)

Another script. Another investigation. Another plate of what you love for dinner. Another bottle of aphrodisiac. It's repeating to the point that it's sickening. Clues, you need clues. There's no narrator, no spectator, no observer, no system, no nothing to guide you. The Writer, the Master, the Game Master, is not here to guide you toward the answer to this accursed riddle.

The large line of everything would be first, they kidnapped you, second, they want you to love them, third, they say they haven't gotten what they want which is you.

In terms of you being in a mystery novel, this progress is ridiculously frustrating and boring. It's repetitive. You can't find any clues at all. What are their motives? There's nothing that stands out from you at all to attract them. What do they mean by chimera? It's irritating when they call you that, as though something inside you is howling whenever they call you that. It's suffocating. You need to find a way out, forget about all these riddles, it's time to play with violence. In this room are only a typewriter, an enigma, and furniture. Swinging furniture at them who can just overpower you and expect to win? A pie in the sky bullshit. The window? No luck in breaking them open. The door is always locked. No hidden or secret passage, a perfectly locked and closed room.

But, you know you have a chance against them. Inside the closet is a box of a flintlock. It's not like you are not familiar with it at all, in fact, you are well-versed in it. There is no problem with it at all, you can even guarantee it works perfectly without ever trying it. The only problem lies in how to shoot them. It would be hard to shoot them off guard with how you have to reach out to the flintlock first.

It's impossible for you to hide it in your clothing's pocket for they'll always wrap their whole body around you which allows them to notice it.

It's impossible for you to just place it on the table and let them see it. They'll confiscate it the moment they see it.

The only chance you have is to hide it somewhere reachable and time everything well. They can notice every movement you make which makes things even harder for you. Their head will turn to you for every movement you make. There's no way they'll just let you shoot their brains out. You may be fast but they are just as fast as you too. Their reflexes would be good, in fact, they'd be able to dodge any kind of tricks you show them. But, in the end, it's nothing but a gamble.

Although your pet (doesn't matter its size) can help you as a distraction for them. To buy you just a second is already a generous donation from them. You are fast, just as fast as them but in strength? There's no hope for you at all. Nevertheless, you are not going to sit here being an incompetent actress.

A man has to take risks sometimes. It's time to spin the roulette of your fate. You are incompetent as a detective but that doesn't mean you are incompetent as an actress.

You only switch your role from the Detective to a Murderer, that's all.

v. Miracles

Another show of them reading your script, another show of them shoving the remnants of what you love into your throat, another show of both of your bodies linking to each other. Today too, all of that will happen again with the exception of a bottle of ink on the table.

"I've been buying you lots of those brand new clothing for you, dove. Let me show it to you"

It's now or never. The moment they turn their back to get the bags, you already walk to the table and grab the ink and keep it inside your pocket. They've 'checked' you so their suspicion about you hiding something inside your pocket decreases. Just as you suspected, they immediately turn back to look at you, a shame you are just as fast as they would be when it's time to dirty their hand. You too are about to dirty your hand with their blood.

"What's wrong, dove?"

Your pet comes just right in time, distracting them for a split second until you splash the ink right onto their face. Is it a miracle that they didn't dodge it?

Something is off. You can sense it. Something is

The ink invades their eyesight immediately just like you expected. What you expected for them to fight back is completely crushed down when all they did is just wobble around. Their hand never leave their eyes, giving you lots of openings to attack them. And so you did, you take the flintlock that you hide under the bed and shoot them.

You shoot at their thigh instead of busting their brain immediately.

They stumble down onto the carpeted floor while trying their best to regain their vision back. The next moment they open their eyes, they are greeted by you straddling their limp body with the flintlock in your hand.

"You noticed that there's no fountain pen lying around the table, no?"

Their eyes widen at your statement. True they've noticed how odd it was for a bottle of ink in the middle of the table without its companion, a fountain pen and a paper. Now, seeing the glint coming from your left hand, they know where the pen is now. You punch down at them with the pen in between your fingers, grazing their cheek. They didn't dodge at all and in fact, it was you yourself who dodge for them.

"The flintlock too, there's no way you'd just forget about it and let it stays inside my room. You are someone who'll always check my closet and it's almost impossible for you to not notice that foreign box"

There's only one possible reason for this, they purposely left it wide open for you to see and use.

And yet why do they look so dazed at your statement?

Their eyes travel to the object in your right hand. A flintlock.

"... I don't remember seeing that flintlock anymore though? It's been ages since I've seen it, the last time I saw it was when you were still **?"

Now it's your turn to feel confused. Not because of the statement of them not being the ones who leave it inside your closet, but rather their words that indicate a past relationship you two once had. When you were still **? Despite being able to just shove you away, they stay still on the floor, never nudging you away as though they are immobile.

"Dove, what's wrong-"

They are silenced immediately when you press the flintlock against their forehead. Your face is pale with sweats dropping down, horror washes your whole features, disbelief evident in your widening eyes. Your mind is no longer clear, what's supposed to be your objective? To kill them for kidnapping and breaking you down mentally? To execute the Culprit for you are the Detective? Or...

"... the last script's line was 'Ending the Hell'"

Word?

"It's a string of curses just like I expected. Despite typing everything at random, your deepest thought manages to flow out and form a word from the string"

the infinite monkey theorem? No.. it's not, at least yet

"Sure it's not a tale but rather, a hatred in the middle of your cry of agony, begging for someone to save you"

How long has it been since the last time you cried out for someone to save you? It was terrifying, the first month they broke you down was hell. You are entirely unfamiliar with it, alas making you wail nonstop. And another way for you to express your emotions is by typing like a madman on the typewriter, mindless about what you are trying to tell.

"And would you believe it if I relish in the feelings of reading that all? The you who can't even understand anything but just focus on your feelings?"

You can't understand anything anymore.

"To simplify everything, first, I did not even know that the flintlock still exists until today. Second, it seems like your mind can't keep up with your insanity anymore again, ____"

No one will save you. You have to save yourself. You convince yourself over and over to kill them before they

"Had I not dragged you myself, you would have solved the epitaph and found out about the one Truth"

The first hit with the flintlock lands on their face. With each hit you give them, it still doesn't stop them from talking their way out.

"That day, I visited you and you were playing with your flintlock that was given by the Master of the manor, as usual, shooting at the cup lining up in front of you"

You can't remember anything at all.

"Then, I just so happen to stroll around your manor when I met the master of the house talking with Lea's mother"

Lea? Her name does sound familiar.

"Would you believe it when I overheard them saying how that lady has to take you in as their legitimate child?"

Your hand works even faster now and yet they never dodge your hits. Your eyes dilate in horror and fear.

"Long story short, the lady was horrified by this news. Oh how funny it was for you to be pushed down twice from the cliff"

Your head starts throbbing in pain.

"It truly is a shame, I couldn't do anything to prevent that hag from pushing you down, and yet, some sort of miracle happened. You survived"

Surely the Witch of Miracles might have truly despised you to save you that day. If this were to be some kind of theatre show then you can see 2 narrators commenting on their statement with eagerness. Who won't be when both the actors are currently ascending to the great truth?

"You fell into the river and your body was tended by the people around there"

Everything snaps back to you now. Ah, you remember who they are now.

vi. Execution

They won't stop smiling as their words flow out of their mouth despite all the pain of having their face beaten over and over. They've probably swallowed some of their teeth but who cares? Even they themself don't care, in fact, they are very happy with the fact that 'you've finally loved them'. Each word you hear from them means having the pain inside your head grows even more unbearable for you. Their hands never leave your hips, and one of their eyes stares into yours with adoration, of how beautifully broken you are inside. The truth must have pierced your heart in half.

The Detective showed the Culprit the truth.

With one last blow, you shoot their brain out to silence them for eternity. Eternity.

They stop talking. Their hands fall from your hips. Their eye still staring at you.

You stand up and walk away from their body, your eyes never leave the door. Finally, a way out. Your hand touches the door's handle and... it won't open. It's still locked. You are locked with your pet and a dead body. Desperate for an escape, you search for the key, and yet you couldn't find it. Every corner of the room is checked and all that's left is the dead body. As much as you hate it, your hand slips into their pocket and..

You found it! It's... destroyed...?

You slump down. They probably destroyed it the moment you begin your execution on them. There's no way in and there's no way out. The window? It's impossible to break it open. The same goes for the door, it's impossible. Laughing to yourself, you know this is your end already.

Everything returns to what it used to be. Typing mindlessly and endlessly, you type everything out. What they said to you, what they confessed to you, what you remembered, what you are feeling, and what you are hoping for. A miracle.

Hunger is inevitable. Your pet will be the only last thing you'll eat before you blow your heart with the flintlock.

vii. Truth

"Ahhh, Lucius, Love does not boast, it does not envy!"

"Ahhh, Lucy, Love is merciful! Love is generous!"

What once looks like a room filled with splattering blood and brains, a dead body that has been cut open with half of its guts eaten by someone, now turns into a wide stage with lights shining toward one subject. The said person was defaced and shot to death. The Culprit is also the Detective.

"This is weird, it certainly violates the seventh decalouges of Knox! The Detective is not the Culprit!"

"Oh no no, Lucy! This pitiful soul is the Culprit of our Guest's creation, or should we call them as...."

"Theeeee Readerrrr???"

The person stands up and looks straight toward the empty seats in front of them. Taking a deep breath, the person speaks up,

"I am the 'Culprit' of his abduction but if we are going to talk about the Truth of their heart then I am the 'Detective'"

The sound of someone clapping their hands echoes within the theatre, acknowledging their statements.

"Allow me to retell everyone this pitiful tale again"

It all starts with how close you two have always been.

Details :

Pantalone

Despite his pitiful situation, he's still allowed to roam into the manor by the Butler because he's considered the only friend you have back then (aside from the other children from the manor). Is really fond of you because of how kind you were to him when he was in trouble with almost everything. You often share your things with him whenever you go out from the manor for school.

Childe

Childe is allowed in the manor because he's the friend of Lucas, one of the Master's grandchildren. Occasionally flirted with you because you are the only servant who's a child around their age.

Columbina, Sandrone, Rosalyne

Is the friend of one of the children from the manor. Invites you to play with them because you are the only servant who's also a child.

Arlecchino, Capitano, Pierro

Is friends with you from the same school and is allowed to visit you by the Butler because you don't have any friends aside from them. They really appreciate how similar your personalities with theirs.

Dottore, Tsaritsa, Scaramouche

Is close with you because how you two share the same perspective of the world. Ofen talked with you about how the stars. Is allowed in the manor because they are the only friend you had with the Butler.

"Ahhh? What a lovely relationship you two used to have!"

"And yet, what tore you two? This is pitiful! A shame to the name of Love! Even anyone could realize how there were love blooming inside of you two!"

They resumed their tales.

You and they were once an inseparable lovebird. Even if you two couldn't meet each other that often, the feelings that you both shared were mutual. You are the illegitimate son of the Master of the manor and due to a few circumstances, you were handed to the master's daughter-in-law who has to take care of you with the reason of her being unable to conceive an heir. The Master of the manor couldn't just take you in as the legitimate heir of the family and so he decided to introduce you to her as an orphan that was handpicked by him.

"It truly is a shame, that baby was pushed off from the cliff along with the servant who was carrying them. And yet by some Miracle, the baby survived while the servant didn't. The fall damaged their genitals and this incident was only known by the lady, Butler, Master of the manor, the Doctor, and the old servant. The Master of the manor was only announced by the fact that the baby died in the fall"

How did they learn about this? Simple, they are the Detective and a Detective's job is to solve a case, the riddle. By using their influence, force, and bribery, it was really easy for them to learn about the truth. The diary of that lady explains everything in gruesome details while the Butler had no choice but to reveal the truth to them after using you to threaten him.

"Ahh, Lucius! Look at all these scripts! It's just like what they said! It's the Truth!"

The scripts. The last thing you were only able to do after killing them before you finally devour your pet and yourself. You who typed endlessly about everything. About how you and they used to be close friends. About how you two used to share mutual feelings toward each other. About how everything started to shatter down when the Master of the manor realized that the baby that was announced dead 12 years ago, survived.

"Ahh, Lucy! How tragic it is! It's written here that the tragedy happened again for the second time!"

The Master of the manor wish to repent and acknowledge you as his legitimate heir. How did he recognize you? On your left foot is a scar left from the operation to treat your polydactyly. The Master of the manor saw it when you were careless enough to spill a boiling soup all over your leg, resulting you to take off your sock and allowed him to see the scar. The Butler was not blamed for his action in hiding your survival and the old servant and Doctor were let off from the hook as well. Starting then, the Master of the manor gifted you a flintlock that your Grandmother used to play with.

"Oh! This certainly is a beautiful flintlock!"

"Careful Lucy! That flintlock has been used to kill people!"

"Just like I said back then, that woman didn't want to admit him as the legitimate heir and as her son. Her ego forces her to push him again."

You survived the fall by Miracle. You fell into the cold river and yet you did not freeze or drown to death because there were people who witness your fall and immediately came to rescue you. Truth be told, the Butler had not completely trusted that the Master of the manor truly saw you as his child.

The 2 demons look at each other. The Master of the manor couldn’t see you as his child? The person standing in the middle of the stage nodded at the demons.

Scaramouche, Pantalone, and Childe will sympathize with how similar your conditions are to theirs. A child that is not acknowledged, taken care of, or just portrayed as something/someone that is not you. Scaramouche who was not acknowledged was betrayed by his own mother, Pantalone who was supposed to be a child that is showered with parental love had to suffer in poverty and Tartaglia was no longer portrayed as the sweet and scared boy that he once was.

“In her… no, their body… flows the dirty blood of the Master and their mother…”

“Humuu? Isn’t it only natural for a child to possess the blood of their father and mother?”

“That should have been the case but… in their body, flows the Master’s daughter's blood”

Applause erupts from the gallery’s way. Due to the poor lighting, their face could not be identified. Their hand holding theater binoculars onto their eyes as their leg hangs around by the edge.

“Ahhh! A forbidden love! Unforgivable! We do not accept this!”

“We live for True Love! Be it forbidden or not, we are only here to shatter the illusions of Love! Those who believe in their own illusion of Love instead of a True Love shall be shattered down by us!”

It truly is pitiful. To summarize things, the Master of the manor had an affair with a woman that was hidden away from his family. His lover passed away after she gave birth to their daughter and

“That man couldn’t see his illegitimate daughter as his daughter, with how their mother starts to grow more and more alike to her mother, that man committed an atrocious sin”

And so your mother conceived you and passed away right after giving birth to you. This is the beginning of the Butler’s seed of distrust toward his master.

“The gears start spinning madly to the point I have to stop it from reaching its fateful day and yet the obsession inside my own heart is maddening. I want to save and break them at the same time.”

Had they not kidnapped you first, you would have solved the epitaph that will lead you to the ultimate truth, your own heart’s execution. The epitaph that will lead you to the gold ingot's location. What begins with how you are only visiting the manor because your ‘friend’ wanted to show you something to observing the riddle that was meant to be solved, it truly ignites the Detective heart and passion for mystery and riddles you have.

“In a world in which I’m not there and in a world in which I’m there, the ending will still be the same. If they solved it, the tragedy will happen. If they didn’t, they’ll forever be unaware of their heart”

“A heart is nothing but a hindrance for one person, so much to the point I have to shoot it to stop it from beating”

The stage light shot toward the source of the voice, you, sitting by the stage’s gallery with the theatre binocular in your hand. You look just like how you used to be and yet, something is different from you. One who looks at you will be reminded of the animal you have always been so fond of.

“Should I be thanking you or not for preventing me from dirtying my hands and the others to help me commit the mass murder, Detective?”

“The main star is here! Oh Lucy, look at them!”

“Dear star! It’s time for you to speak as well! Or perhapssssss you want us to speak as a behalf of you?”

“A behalf would not be the right answer. You two are them”

You snap your fingers and thousands of scripts fell from above. Right before your death, you only typed out your entire heart out before you stopped your heart from beating. Unfortunately enough, the hell that they forced you into soon turned into an oblivion in which there’s only a typewriter waiting for you to type. Hitting the keys of the typewriter at random, your fingernails are completely well-trimmed in a sense now. No, it would make even more sense to say that your nails have been scrapped from typing over and over. The scripts that would always be read by someone despite being filled with nothing but gibberish is now floating into the depths of oblivion.

“To be stuck there for thousand years, I have to type endlessly like a monkey”

The Infinite Monkey theorem.

You typed out a miracle and were freed from the oblivion in exchange for your amazing scripts filled with a tale that pleased the Game Master, allowing you to break free from the oblivion. Just right after your freedom, an invitation was sent out to you, guiding you to a huge theater by the forest in which the Twin Moons are lighting the night. Who would have known you'd be greeted by the sight of the person you've despised for millenniums?

"Who sent me this?"

The demon narrators shake their heads but the person in the middle of the stage raises their hand, making you lunge at them immediately. With your bare fists, you punch them over and over.

"Because of you! I couldn't break free from the oblivion because of you! Because! I! Believed! In! You!"

You spend your time typing out deductions and tales of someone else placing the flintlock into the closet, and yet your scripts were not approved by the GM. It took you long enough before you finally realized that you'd been tricked by them. The moment you realized it, you started typing out different deductions and tales until it satisfied the GM to free you. Under you is them panting in excitement and eyes filled with adoration,

"That's exactly what I wish for! You thinking a way out while trying to understand how everything works, you who had no choice but to understand me in order to break free from the depths of oblivion, you who had to think and understand everything about me! This is love! An ideal love that one yearns for!"

-Childe, Columbina, Dottore, Sandrone, Scaramouche

"In the end, you have to understand me in and out to break free no? In the end, your missing heart had to search for mine and understand everything about me"

-Pantalone, Pierro, Tsaritsa, Capitano, Rosalyne

The demon narrators chuckle at their words, levitating around you two. You who are showering them with love and them who are so blinded by their own term of love.

"Yeah right, love..."

You snap your fingers and one of the floating scripts flies toward their face, allowing them to read it. A string of gruesome things will be done to them in order to prove your love for them. Instead of shaking in fear, their eyes lit up into one that shows excitement. Leaning down to kiss their bloody face, you whisper to them,

"I shall love you in our way, you who love me despite my body condition, you who do not want me to dirty my hand, you who avenged me by slaughtering everyone,"

A single strand of tear falls out from your eye. They even killed one of your loved ones...

"That's why I will love you completely as well... my enigma"

No one knows aside from you yourself whether you truly love them with a veil of illusions wrapped around your eyes or not. Perhaps you despised them for letting their obsession runs free, breaking you into pieces, forcing you to do things you never consented to. Perhaps you don't because you've forgotten what's supposed to be normal and what's not. How many millenniums have you been staying in the depths of oblivion?

Long enough for you to lose your grip on reality and sanity.

The demon narrators look at the spectators' seats, eyes focused on you. Chuckling, they hug each other and speak directly to you,

"What do you think, everyone? Have they finally reached True Love? We live for True Love and we shall shatter the fools who believe in the illusions of Love!"

Whether it's illusions or not, you and them, are bound to each other, for eternity.

All in the name of Love.

𝓕𝓻𝓮𝓭𝓮𝓻𝓲𝓬𝓪 𝓐𝓭𝓸𝓻𝓪

𝓑𝓻𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓮

#genshin x reader #fatui x reader #yandere pantalone #pantalone x reader #childe x reader #yandere childe #yandere fatui #yandere dottore #il dottore x reader #dottore x reader #yandere pierro #pierro x reader #yandere capitano #capitano x reader #yandere sandrone #sandrone x reader #yandere scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #yandere arlecchino #arlecchino x reader #yandere columbina #columbina x reader #yandere x reader #yandere genshin #yandere tsaritsa #tsaritsa x reader

[kvetchinglyneurotic]

ok i just finished season 1 of daredevil and i will have articulate things to say about it at some point but for now here's the stream of consciousness notes i took while i was watching:

-I like Jack Murdock as a portrayal of a loving but flawed parent — like he clearly cares for Matt so much and he’s doing his best but there’s some parts of a “normal” childhood he just doesn’t really have the resources to provide. That being said being stupidly self-sacrificial clearly runs in the family. Just take the dive and collect your money my guy 

-“you shouldn’t be sneaking around at night you could get hurt”/ “we need to do this within the legal system” Matthew you fucking hypocrite (affectionate)

-weirdly fascinated by the way Fisk & co. translate for their sketchy group meeting that always seem to take place in abandoned parking garages, especially with how Wesley gives the general idea of what they’re saying instead of a direct translation — ok update i suspected this was because Fisk actually understood what everyone was saying and I was right!

-I like Foggy but I disagree with him about the purpose of a defense attorney — he wants to represent people who aren’t guilty/were justified in what they did but everyone deserves representation even if they 100% did the thing and were 100% wrong in doing so 

-Honestly probably worked out better for Matt that Stick was only around for a couple of years at the most. Also symbolic that he left before teaching Matt to use knives — Matt never fully goes down the road of lethal force (I mean some of the things he does definitely would kill people in real life but in real life he’d also be dead so it evens out) or fully cuts off the people he cares about. Also are they implying that the reason Matt doesn’t permanently have broken ribs and/or major blood loss that he meditates? I mean suspension of disbelief obviously but that is. very funny 

-Fisk is, on the one hand, very detail-oriented, but he’s also impulsive and emotionally reactive, so he has to come up with plans to cover for it. Also I feel like his and Wesley’s relationship is going to implode at some point. Or one of them (probably Wesley since Fisk is like. the main villain) is going to die

-are they sponsored by Dell 

-obviously I know why they do this for cinematic reasons but it’s very funny that in-universe Fisk gives his entire speech in 1x08 without actually saying his name until he dramatically announces at the end. Although maybe that’s just for dramatic effect and in-universe he's just repeating it? Also don’t throw your computer Matt you have no money 

-Matt’s smug little smile when Karen says the man in the mask looks badass flipping around :3 

-“the whole wounded, handsome duck thing” 

-i love how much they dwell on the actual implications of finding out your friend is secretly a vigilante/has had superpowers the entire time you’ve known each other, and that knowing they go out at night to beat people up, even if it’s for the “right” reasons, would still be alarming 

-actually not bad on the nighttime colour-grading front! I can see what’s happening which is better than most shows 

-I appreciate that there’s an actual plot about/explanation of how Matt gets his body armour 

-Wow who could have guessed leaving the gun in the middle of the table was a bad idea. I kind of liked Wesley but honestly what a dumbass way to die. Do admire the bluff though “you don’t really believe I’d put a loaded gun where you could reach it?” 

-love the approach to superhero realism here — not necessarily in the abilities or the way the plot is constructed (although that’s good, too) but in the characters’ reactions (Foggy finding out about Matt; Karen when she kills Wesley, Fisk when he finds out Wesley is dead) 

-“I thought your days of being relevant were past” ouch 

-reasons Wilson Fisk is evil: murder, drug dealing, doesn’t like cat videos 

-I do like that Fisk kind of gets the power of friendship thing though? But like it makes him worse 

-I’m very much not the most qualified to make this judgement and I’d want to check what people who actually *are* in a position to judge have to say about it, but I feel like this show has a bit of an… orientalism problem, I guess? But orientalism that also includes Russians, and also I know this is partly an extension of her being a very minor character but Doris (Ben Urich’s wife) is the only character who seems like she’s *only* there to like. encourage others through her wise words and doesn’t have much of an internal life of her own (besides the priest I guess but I feel like with priests that’s kind of their job) 

-Did Foggy not go to Ben’s funeral? 

-Fisk is also going to kill Leland. Maybe stop killing all your allies Fisk 

-I think it’s cute that Matt still holds onto Foggy’s arm when they’re walking even when it’s just the two of them and Foggy already knows that he doesn’t need to do it 

-Why does Marvel keep naming wise mentor figures who die Ben? Matt and Peter Parker should make a club (is Ben Urich in the comics? I haven't read the comics)

-“while actively being arrested” has got to win some sort of award for worst marriage proposal but I guess I admire that he just went for it? 

-Ominously large number of minutes left in this episode after the seeming resolution 

-Matt’s dumbass little horns <3

-Fisk: “You think one man in a silly little costume will make a difference?” bro *you* thought one man in a silly little costume would make a difference when you were the one man. Also I hope the silly little costume protects Matt from blunt force trauma 

-I’m honestly still not entirely sure how/if Nelson & Murdock actually made any money

-I feel like that bit near the beginning where Karen and Matt both have secrets and Foggy’s like “I wish I had a secret” describes their dynamic basically

#daredevil #instead of liveblogging shows i just do whatever this is #anyway enjoy #kvetch oc

[nicomrade]

so i reread the scott pilgrim comics this week for the first time since 2019? lots of stuff happened in my life in-between + i learned to actually like, pay attention when reading so this specific reread felt really important to me- the issue of reading it in french for the first time aside. heres some misc thoughts i had while reading! some of this stuff is drawing from conversations about the comics ive had with people over the years, i dont mean to break any new ground here, and i dont have a specific lense to look at the comics through so its not structured like analysis either. full thoughts under the cut! i hope you all like going on this little trip with me ^-^

so first of, the X motif! this i KNOW i saw someone else talk about. it comes up first on scott's jacket with the X-men patch (and it comes up again in that context- "then wolverine is crucified on a big X") and also on knives' scott-shrine, her dad slashes an X over scott's picture. these are the two biggest exemples but there really are Xs constantly in the imagerie of the comics, which is great and i love. the comic is about fighting ramona's exs, and this is foreshadowing that scott himself will be one, but its also generally about the baggage that comes with existing. at its core its really comics about dealing with whats over, so we get into scotts relationships w envy & kim & knives (& ramona), but we also get into his relationship with lisa (what couldve been) we also see him move flats (the end of an era!), in volume 1 scott tells knives about the house he grew up in that now belongs to another family, scott breaking his bass & no longer being in a band, etc. theres sooooo many flashback sequences in these comics and references to the past… its all about the X.!

loosely related in the foreshadowing department there are genuinely so many background details of stories about people who dont matter to the comics that foreshadow later developments. the details of why Crash & the Boys changed drummers is straight up the dynamics of Clash at Demonhead, theres the Lucas Lee movie on the BG thats visually identical to scotts memory of when he got with kim- and the reveal that the lady in that movie wasnt dead is arguably foreshadowing for scott reviving in volume 6? if you know whats happening in the story, rereading the volumes really is so rewarding. it also helps on a first read cause unconsciously its not the first time you're hearing about these ideas so theyre easier to digest & accept. this is also what the character explicitely referencing what will happen later is for- "i wonder how the Boys & Crash can do music without instruments- maybe it will be relevant later in the evening" "i'd need a deus ex machina to beat todd", these help you accept when these things do seemingly "come out of nowhere" later in the scene (and poke cheerful fun at it lol these are fun comics)

a personal fave of mine is the phrase "read the comic sometime" thats repeated in the early volumes at characters who werent there for something. its 4th-wall breaking, its fun, it nicely tells lost readers where to head to without re-dumping exposition, AND it helps keep track of who was where for what scenes … stuff like "when did stacey & ramona become friends??" or "i cant believe this is stacey & neils first meeting!" or "wallace was already introduced to ramona earlier" … its all fun and helps you stay on the ride. i think this is why i would read the comics back to back to back to back and retained very little. its easy to passively read these comics and its not a bad thing! though it is better to actively read them, and take these notes as fun jokes & reminders, and not life boats.

the 4th wall breaks are also great for the side characters having their own lives in the background. there are a lot more time indications in scott pilgrim than i remembered, if youre paying attention i think its really really easy to have a nice timeline in your head. but when stuff is broken to scott its not "i started dating mobile during X month" or "i came out X months ago" its "i started dating mobile during volume 3" and "i came out during volume 5" that way the reader can more easily relate it to the story that was happening at the time- and to keep in mind during a volume reread. its not a writing technique for EVERY comic, but its something that scott pilgrim gets to have BECAUSE its a comic- and unapologetically so! this is not a work that wants to be more novel than graphic to be taken seriously. its a comic, and its silly, and its also a work of art, and you have to respect it on its own terms.

theres also, uhm, ill be quick on this point cause its kind of weird how lesbians/sapphics are handled in the comics. its not BAD but theres clearly a bias towards male homosexuality being fleshed out and lesbianism not so much. but so the start of volume 4 is when kim & knives make out and it really starts this obsession in scott about this thing he cannot tell anyone about but is still thinking about, that prepares for roxies introduction- ramonas ex girlfriend. that i believe is also when wallace first asks if scotts broken out the "L-word" yet and it gives more context to scott assuming its lesbians? and him then going all "why does everyone keep asking me about lesbians!" but it is also kind of weird re: lesbian fetishism (which IS pointed out with scotts weird poster that no one likes but thats it). and all that with ZERO canon lesbians! roxie is pretty bi-coded i would say with her insistance on being "HALF-ninja", but ramona is described as an american ninja in the early volumes so its kind of loose. idk its weird and i like to think julie came out as a lesbian cause stephen & her being a comphet4comphet couple is really good to me

a thing id never noticed before is that julie was suspecting stephen of having views on knives during volume 4? and its why she was so shitty to knives for a while there, and then its "worked out" at the end of the volume. this feeds into the constant fear of cheating during the story, theres of course todd & scott who do cheat, but also more grey areas of relationships. im thinking of ramonas anxieties around lisa, and when scott finds out roxie stayed over at ramona's. about stephen too, his response to julie apologizing for being jealous of knives is very… uncomfortable

"i have nothing to fear!" "right yeah..." surely because hes starting to realize hes gay, and possibly because he's already vaguely started seeing joseph. we dont get more details on his relationships i am not going to accuse him of cheating LOL. i truly dont care. but its an anxiety that comes up again and again whenever relationships are starting to turn sour- "are they cheating?" and having been in my 20s for a little bit yeah i get it. scott not telling ramona about his job- not telling her much of ANYTHING during vol 4- and ramona not sharing much either are also part of this. theres a reason all of this happens in volume 4, and next volume ramona finds out scott cheated on knives with her. loss of intimacy and the breakdown of dialogue is all part of cheating anxieties, whether there is actual cheating or not. "what do i not know? what else are they keeping from me? they dont talk to me but they talk to them? are they cheating on me?"

theres a really neat thing the comics do to show the breakdown of scott and ramona's relationship in volume 5 and its the scene where ramona goes shopping and scott tags along. she spends it not saying anything (until she tells scott she doesnt even like his band) and scott obsessively talking about his comics (X-men!) while she doesnt look particularly interested.

this is the scene where scott breaks up with knives again!!! the roles are reversed, scott is now the one talking about whatever while his girlfriend's unresponsive, and obviously ramona doesn't break up with him here and there, and they dont kiss in a goodwill, but the ressemblance is there. and like with the knives breakup scene, we have a good date variant of this! its their very first date from the first volume where scott does mostly talk about himself but ramona is having fun joking with him. here we are shown their relationship slowly crumbling and it lays the ground for ramona leaving at the end of the volume.

similarly to how scott battles all of ramonas evil exs (himself included), ramona does face all of scott's own exs. its not as spectacular but we see her fight knives in volume 2, then she fights envy in volume 3. we also have her comment on kim that she does like her (same with lisa, who is not strictly an ex but emotionally is treated as such. especially with how scott sleeping over at lisa's is paralleled with roxie sleeping over at ramona's) these are not comments she makes about stephen or julie, for exemple, its specifically women who had a close relationship with him. and uhm ramona also comments on liking wallace who- again- is not STRICLY an ex, but hes also part of that volume 4 cheating anxieties conversation, wallaces incessant flirting, mobile himself jokes (?) about finding wallace in the arms of another man, etc. but most convincingly to ME because we are talking about EXs here is the flashback of wallace inviting himself at scotts house being identical to lisas scene of inviting herself at scotts, scott saying the story of how he ended up living with wallace is "somewhat gay", and the general college flashbacks.

i think this points to scott & wallace having briefly dated in the past, or (because hes paralleled with lisa) having a "what couldve been" relationship where they didnt make anything of it and now the time window's passed and emotionally? kind of feels like an ex. and if anything they ARE ex-roommates lol. this is not a scollace truthing thing, im a firm mobillace guy ok -_- im just saying its there. back to the point of ramona facing scott's exs as well, YES i am including herself in it. her going to the wilderness during vol6 parallels scott going to the countryside, the very place he faces negascott properly. and the way ramona talks when she comes back its easy to see that she did face herself on that trip. & the figurines agree with me that the idea of a negaramona does exist :)

thats more or less all i had in mind, i also feel like i was finally able to properly enjoy the themes of the comics of facing your own shittiness and doing better, of the harms of being stuck in your own head, of never ending up like gideon (who is so attached to his exs that he literally cryogenizes them!) the warning of rewriting your own memories (or at least biased recollections of it) uhm how breakups suck! and how cheating is not always black & white but also fucking sucks !! being out of school (wanting to go back to school?) and looking for jobs- and yes if scotts life had a face i would punch it too its literally unfair how easily everything goes for him on that front, even freeloading with wallace (<- jealous). envys obsession with a guy who is so obviously shitty but who shes been best friends with since they were 11 is also kind of… ooh i get it now…. its yeah. i think they really are comics for being in your 20s, a lot about dating? but its so generally about human relationships and dealing with your baggage, i think it is still relatable without the specific romantic relationship experience.? i love these comics. everyone read scott pilgrim if you havent in a while (or ever!!!!) and try to think a little about it as you read it really is so worthwhile. and if anything theyre insanely funny, and wallace is there!

#scott pilgrim #scott pilgrim vs the world #scott pilgrim meta #spvtw #that is all ill tag ^-^ this is mostly for myself

[laurasauras]

3,20,38

3. Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

whenever i find myself thinking like this, it usually prompts me to go, okay, so how do i make it work.

the easy example is hanahaki--it's always been a trope that's annoyed me because it feels like weaponised victimhood and i couldn't get past how shitty the target of hanahaki would feel. so one day i come across it and i get to thinking, okay smartass, you do it better then! and from that i wrote two fics and an rp about characters who got hanahaki for people they both really didn't want to have it for and who couldn't have the surgery. i wanted to see what it'd be like if i gave it the highest stakes i could think of, and i think Excise My Broken Heart (unrequited daverose) is one of the best things i've written

in terms of ones i haven't done and really can't see myself doing though, pregnancy freaks me the fuck out so i don't think i could write anything more detailed than a tacky gender reveal party without getting squicked. and despite using 2nd person constantly due to the homestuck of it all, i find y/n fics to be tooooo ... idk directed? i don't have a problem with people reading my fics and getting off or with getting off while imagining themselves as the characters, but i'm not writing to get people off. not my cuppa tea! even in my porniest you better believe there's a character observation i'm proud of making!

20. Describe your perfect writing conditions.

okay so when i want to write i make myself a cup of tea/milo or boozy beverage of my choice, get in comfy clothes and sit where i always sit (my armchair, probably cross-legged) with all the things that give off notifications exited out of so i can't see the (1) of it all. i'm not hungry, i've taken my meds and i've had a shower recently enough that i'm not distracted by hygiene

when i need to write, same thing except i'm listening to Alive 2007, daft punk's live album where they mash up a bunch of their songs. it is magic for making me focus

38. Talk about a review that made your day.

one that i still think about is from Yet Another Crisis, where roxy is making her bad mental health everyone else's problem as well, which was a vent fic about my brother acting out before anyone knew he was trans. a commenter said that it really resonated with them, i shared the inspiration and they were like welp, that's why it resonated! they said, "I suspect I'm going to end up sharing this fic with my therapist, and maybe even my mother someday when she's ready to listen" and i will never stop thinking about how something i wrote was meaningful enough that someone feels that by sharing it, they can be known better. nothing tops that!

i actually keep a doc (that i always forget to update) with comments that have particularly made me smile. i'm fortunate enough to get a lot and i treasure them all, but some of them deserve to be squirreled away for days when i need to be reminded that my art has impact on people and by doing something i love, i have brought happiness (and a whole bunch of other emotions) to wonderful people 💛

#ask game

[thatgirl4815]

The Vegas Effect

~ A Deep Dive into Pete’s Mind ~

I decided to make this post to pair with my The Pete Effect post, where I looked at the psychology of Vegas’s character. Since then, I’ve been thinking a lot about Pete, what makes him tick, and what Vegas’s character proves about him. I’ve talked a lot about Ep12 already, but somehow I always come up with more to say...

**⚠️ TW ⚠️ ** for (child) abuse, torture, trauma, etc.

Traces of Abuse

Besides a few fine points, Pete’s character has been, for the most part, shrouded in mystery. What do we know about him, really? His father beat him when he was young, he provides for and loves his grandmother, and he’s been working for the major family for quite some time. Aside from that, our knowledge of Pete has been mostly confined to his actions/dialogue in the present. In my opinion, not elaborating on Pete’s past in detail is 100% intentional. 

The show, understandably, focuses on Vegas’s trauma for what I see as a few reasons. He’s the villain, so if they want audiences to feel any sort of connection to VegasPete’s story, he has to be fleshed out beyond his villainous behavior. His trauma is also ongoing, as his father abuses him regularly. From what we can tell, the only source of trauma in Pete’s life at the moment is Vegas. But just because Vegas demonstrates more obvious signs of traumatized, self-loathing behavior doesn’t mean that Pete does not also express the effects of his own past, albeit more subtly. 

Self-Sacrifice

On the surface, the differences between Vegas and Pete are extreme. I won’t bother divulging them because they’re staggeringly apparent right away. What I will get into, however, is the differences in their trauma response. As I said previously, Vegas directs a lot of his hate inward. It builds up to the point of lashing out--rather than confronting that inward hate, Vegas directs it outside of himself. It’s a coping mechanism.

For Pete, it’s different. I’ve no doubt that his father’s abuse as a child left a permanent scar. But while Vegas directs his self-hatred outward, Pete is constantly making sacrifices. Vegas and Pete represent the difference between harming others to make yourself feel better and putting others’ worth above your own.

There’s an interesting separation here, because on the surface, Pete seems to understand the importance of valuing oneself. Like here^, he specifically tells Vegas that self-injury is not a viable coping mechanism. And in Ep11, the “they, themselves, suck” scene does something similar with Pete acknowledging that his own father’s abuse was not his fault. 

Why, then, do I think that Pete doesn’t value himself? Well, it comes down to the difference between empathy and self-sacrifice. Empathy is a healthy, admirable quality, but self-sacrifice can actually be detrimental. There’s a necessary distinction between these terms. 

So, what are Pete’s self-sacrificing behaviors?

He volunteers to investigate Vegas at the risk of his own life. He’s doing it for Porsche, but he’s putting everything on the line to do so. He’s going in without backup and a very loose plan. He also doesn’t seem particularly concerned with how he’s going to make it out. It’s brave, it’s selfless, but it’s also reckless.

He returns to Vegas even after he tortured him. This is the big one. Pete should have left Vegas when he had the chance. It doesn’t matter that he’s started to see all of Vegas’s brokenness and trauma. It doesn’t matter if he can empathize and sympathize with it. Vegas is still Vegas, the man who brutally tortured and assaulted him. Pete has every reason to go. And yet...he doesn’t. 

When Vegas asks why Pete didn’t run away, Pete hesitates. He doesn’t seem to know consciously, but I’d argue that it’s been laid out by his previous actions. Pete does bad things, but I think at his core, he’s a genuinely good person. He saw Vegas falling into a pit of despair, and he couldn’t help himself. But that effort to help Vegas comes at a personal cost.

We then arrive at the sex scene. There’s no denying that Pete wants it. We see the ways he responds to Vegas, and we see the way he initiates. But I don’t think that should blind us to the fact that having sex with Vegas is yet another sacrifice, of sorts.

An Exchange

This might be a contestable argument given that, as I said, Pete does enjoy it. And “sacrifice” might not be the right word in this case, since it implies that Pete is risking himself/not getting anything in return. But I don’t think we can overlook the fact that by giving the control to Vegas, Pete is helping him--and he knows it. He’s offering Vegas control for what I believe are two reasons: 1) part of him enjoys being at someone else’s mercy and 2) he knows Vegas craves power, and giving it to him combats his lack of self-worth. It’s like Pete is presenting Vegas with another coping mechanism...in this case, himself.

We can safely assume that Pete has figured Vegas out pretty well over the past two episodes. Vegas enjoys torturing him. Vegas brings him along to the safe house. Vegas likes when Pete reacts to and defies him. Vegas lashes out when Pete calls him “sensitive” and in need of love...so it all makes to Pete that affection is exactly what Vegas is craving. And Pete can provide that for him. Even if Pete enjoys the sex too, there’s no denying that there is a sacrifice being made in the power dynamic. But it’s complicated by the fact that Vegas sacrifices that power first.

I said elsewhere that I believe VP would’ve had sex regardless if Vegas backed off and let Pete initiate, but in that case, Pete would’ve been merely allowing it to happen rather than taking charge. It’s also important to note that at the end of the day, Pete is still offering himself up, at least in part, to lift Vegas out of his despair. In that sense, it’s similar to--but not exactly the same as--a sacrifice.

--

Overall, I’d say this: 

Pete knows the importance of self-worth, and he encourages it in the people around him. But when it comes to himself, Pete’s empathetic nature (and, in my opinion, his own past trauma) has led him to disregard his own. It’s completely unintentional, but it’s psychologically damaging over in the long run. 

This is why I desperately want someone else to sacrifice for him. Whether it be Porsche, Kinn, or Vegas--I need someone to show Pete his own worth in a big way, the same way he’s been committed to showing everyone else how worthy they are.

...Once again, I ended up talking a lot about Vegas in a post that is dedicated to Pete, but that’s just a testament to their psychological similarities. Together, VP have a lot to say about the effects of abuse and trauma.

For more KP meta, look here! 

#kinnporsche #kinnporsche the series #vegaspete #vegas x pete #vegas theerapanyakul #vegas kinnporsche #pete saengtham #pete kinnporsche #pete x vegas #kinnporsche ep12 #kinnporsche ep11 #kinn porsche #Pete as a character is extremely compelling and I don't think I will ever be able to get out all my thoughts about him #kinnporsche meta #vegaspete meta #kinnporsche analysis #vegas pete

[danaedanette]

Final review of ACOTAR

Sooooo. I finished ACOTAR. Disclaimer, the pages referred here are from the French translation.

It's a massive review, (9k caracters and 3 hours, I really didn't think I would write something this long) so I put it under this "read more" thing.

I already mentioned in another post the book is really slow paced during, like, 70%, because it’s focused on Feyre and Tamlin relationship and budding romance. It’s not necessary a bad thing, but it get a little boring after a while. But I already read the book once ; I knew what was going to happen, and it certainly played a part in my boredom (is it the right word ??) so I’ll be indulgent about the pacing.

I picked up one little inconsistency toward the end of the book : on page 452, Tarquin is described as having “almost white hair, striking cristal blue eyes and warm ebony skin” (an rough translation back to English by myself lmao). And later on page 508, he is described having “tanned skin, a blue and green tunic, a roses crown on his blond hair” (still a rough translation). Honestly, it isn’t too bad, Tarquin isn’t an important character yet (or at all), he isn’t even named, only called “Summer High Lord”. I picked it up because Tarquin is more present in the following books and I frowned on the description page 508, and I remembered that he made another short appearance sooner in the book so I checked it up.

So onto the characters and what I thought about them !

Let’s begin with Rhysand, at least it’ll be done faster. No surprise here, I didn’t like him. I’ll admit all the seeds for Feysand are planted here so it's smoother on the next book, something I hadn’t saw on my first reading 7 years ago. But alas, Rhysand is desesperatly Rhysand, so all the signs of abuse that will (in my opinion) define the character and the Feysand relationship are all here too. Nothing new : the forced deal with the broken arms, the drugging and dancing, the eye that spy on Feyre,… I know it’s all explained (and immediately brushed under the carpet) in the next book, even if I don’t remember the details, and obviously Feyre forgives him, but I simply can’t condone Feysand with a history that heavy between them. Especially as we know that there will be… questionable actions on Rhysand’s part later on. Either he doesn’t learn of his past mistakes or they’re not mistakes at all and he knows perfectly well what he’s doing. I think (to no one surprise) that the latter is true, and here an example why : the first time Feyre is painted in preparation for her nightly dances, Rhysand shows her how, when the paint is damaged by contact, he can fix it with his magic. And later on, when Tamlin and Feyre are kissing and Rhys interrupts them, Tamlin has paint on himself and Rhysand made it disappear. Or maybe Tamlin does it himself, but either way it doesn’t matter, my point still stand : Rhysand can fix the paint on Feyre, he doesn’t have to kiss her to explain that the paint is blurred when Amarantha comes in the room. So Rhysand lied to kiss (read : sexually abuse) Feyre. He’s a dick. (Or it’s another inconsistency on Maas part, who knows ?)

Still, I liked him better in this book that I will in the next, because here we don’t have the narrative and Feyre telling him that he’s a poor, poor baby who never, ever did anything wrong in his life (or else he was forced and he didn’t want to do it :( ). Here, he’s still a villain/really morally grey character. (I keep making assumptions about what I’m gonna find in ACOMAF, and I should stop because I want to go in with an open mind.)

Amarantha is caricatural. That's all she inspired in me.

Then Lucien, because I wanna keep the two main protagonists for last. I remembered that he was one of my favorite characters, and so I was quite disappointed with my rereading. He is not nice with Feyre – which, understandable. She killed Andras, who was his friend, and he had to be at least helpful/civil toward her because they needed her to break the curse. That’s a horrible situation to be in. But all the times he insulted her… It was, at least 50% of the time, insults about her being mortal. To me, it feels like Lucien’s hostility toward Feyre was born of racism, and not of a personal history (her killing his friend). He did helped her UTM, but honestly with how their relationship was before that, I interpreted this help as him doing a favor to Tamlin/helping the only person who had a chance at freeing them from Amarantha. I do think that SJM intended for Feyre and Lucien to be friends, I just don’t think I read the book the way she wanted it to be read. And also, to be fair, Lucien wasn’t exactly really developed. Even his relationship with Tamlin was lacking, in my opinion. Lucien was sometimes (rarely) making fun of Tamlin, as friends do, or he was doing his report about sentry duty. Aaaand… that’s it. Tamlin reacted most of the time by being like “shut up, Lucien” and growling menacingly, which is, for one, not nice to threaten a friend, and two, all the time ? Come on, I understand the situation is really complicated, but be nicer to your friend, talk and joke with him, you’ll feel better Tamlin !

This will be our transition on Tamlin. He was quite nice during the majority of the book. I’m not exactly sure about UTM, but more onto that later. It was nice reading about all the efforts he kept making to get to know Feyre, and hilarious how bad he was at it. The Summer Solstice was one of my favorite scene, Feyre was so free and happy, and the idea of Tamlin playing violin for her on his knees… Yeah, I melt just thinking about it. He was a lot more anger-proned that I remember, but never toward Feyre, and she never felt threatened, and even if Tamlin did threatened Lucien, well,…  Lucien always came back to annoy Tamlin, and when Feyre, talking about Lucien’s eye, asked if Tamlin did it, Lucien was quite shocked, almost horrified, that she would think that. So I take it Lucien wasn’t feeling threatened or afraid of Tamlin, and therefore, despite being angry most of the time, Tamlin knows how to keep his temper under control until he can explode safely. (It’s still not nice to threaten people, especially friends).  About UTM, I don’t know what to think. Tamlin does know how to control his temper… to a certain point. He was never violent toward anyone during the book, but he did have difficulties to hide his anger, notably his claws which were almost always threatening to break out. And yet, UTM… nothing. He gives strictly nothing. No claws poking, no growling, nothing. I’m REALLY conflicted about it. Is it, as Lucien said, a way, as small as it is, but the only possible thing Tamlin can do to protect Feyre from Amarantha ? But then if it is, is it in character for Tamlin, who doesn’t seem to struggle to keep his poker face, even when he was an open book the whole time ? Was he so open with his emotions during the book because he was at home, with people he trusted and in a place where he was in control ? And so does it mean that UTM he wore a mask to protect himself and Feyre ? (this one should appeal to Rhys’s fans.) I DON’T KNOW. Maybe I think too much and it’s just an inconsistency/retcon on Maas part to justify Feyre leaving in the next book because “you did nothing to help me UTM”.

Either way, I liked Tamlin (and Lucien) less than I remember liking them the first time. But I have a theory : it’s quite possible that the unfairness and retcon that they both suffer in the two next books had me so offended on their behalf that I decided I would love them twice as much for every character who would treat them unfairly based on strictly nothing.

AND FINALLY FEYRE. Even if…, to be honest, I don’t really know what to say about her. She really is quite the typical YA female protagonist. She slayed the first challenge, it was one of my favorite scenes. And the last challenge was really poignant. Even if it was MORE than time that she used her brain. Seriously, this riddle was easy. Or maybe I read too much fantasy books, I don’t know. She was too complacent (not sure this is the right word, but nice is not right either soooo) with Rhysand. A guy that treat me like that, I hate him with all my guts, no matter what “helps” he gives me in the middle of all the abuse he inflicts on me. But well. Seeds for Feysand and all that. On that note, I think I read somewhere on Tumblr that Rhysand knew as soon as he met Feyre for the first time (on Calanmai) that she was his mate ? Not sure tho. In any case, it can’t be true because during their last conversation, just before they leave UTM, Rhysand says goodbye, then freeze s and looks at Feyre with, uuuh, big surprise (stupeur in French). Sorry, my brain is melting, I have worked on this review for way too long. So I guess this is the moment Rhys knows she’s her mate. Which, now that I think about it, is really weird that he would be nice to her before that because let’s be real : Rhys don’t give a fuck about people not close to him. Oh, well. Either it’s a retcon, an inconsistency, or anything else, I’m done with this book. Next step : ACOMAF. Maybe I’ll find some answers. Maybe I’ll find more questions, more retcons, and a sudden want to cry. (Open-minded, Danette, remember that you must be open-minded).

To conclude, I was not surprised about Feyre and Rhysand, they were pretty much what I remembered/expected. Lucien and Tamlin were a little disappointing, but honestly not by much, because I knew my memories might be askewed and I know not to expect too much from SJM. This was a very mid read. Not too bad, not good either. 2, 2.5 stars.

Oh, and sorry for any mistakes. This post was long and I really don't have the strengh right now to proofread it. Maybe later, but probably not. I hope it's not too hard on the eyes.

#anti acotar #sjm critical #anti rhysand #feyre archeron #tamlin #acotar reread #acotar analysis

[polysyndetonaddictsupportgroup]

Hi! I’ve sent you two asks already, sorry for bothering you. I just can’t stop thinking about nhthcth, but I was wondering, does Jon get paid? Was he getting paid as a child?

For some reason I got this idea in my head that if Jon didn’t get paid the contract wouldn’t work. Because like, contracts are usually an agreement that one person does one thing and gets another thing in return. Like the Magnus Institute’s contract is like “you work here and never leave and sell your soul to me and I’ll give you maybe more than minimum wage,” so if Jon didn’t get paid, the Institute wouldn’t be holding up their end of the contract, so Jon wouldn’t need to hold up his end and he could leave.

Although I don’t know how that would work when Jon’s a child, he wouldn’t have a bank account, (does he have one as an adult?) I assume it would just go to his legal guardian’s bank account, which I guess would be Elias, but did Elias ever fully adopt Jon? Like legally? Did Elias have to forge adoption papers and stuff or did he just kidnap a child and hoped he’d get away with it. (I suppose he did get away with it) does Jon even have an ID? How did he go to university when he doesn’t have any school history past third grade?

Anyway, sorry I started rambling, you of course don’t have to answer this (nor do you need my permission not to answer, so I’m not sure why I said that) this is just a funny little question I was thinking about. Also, sorry if you’ve answered this already or there’s something in the fic that would answer it and I didn’t notice. Thank you for the amazing story and answering my other asks.

So, you've actually hit the nail on the head on one of the very important rules for nhthcth as a universe, insofar as like, magic systems (for lack of a better word) goes. That being said, a lot of the specifics of this ask is something that I can't answer due to spoilers (like how he went to university, whether elias ever adopted him, whether he has an ID). Those will receive direct explanations in the course of the fic so I can't answer them here.

But as to like, the magic system itself, it's already been seen/addressed in the fic (in a lot of disparate bits and pieces), so I don't have a problem with a more detailed explanation below the cut.

so, most of this system has been in subtext and broken up amongst a lot of little moments in the fic itself. its there but figuring it out takes a lot of patchwork. I don't currently have a more explicit breakdown of the system in the narrative itself because having like, Jon explain it super explicitly feels a bit too much like those internal monologues of an anime fight scene where the characters are having these really in-depth breakdowns of what they're planning and what's happening while they're throwing each other through walls. I just like more subtle storytelling, personally? A lot of the time, it just becomes so painfully obvious that they're talking to the audience and it feels clunky and unnatural. So I scattered the foundation of this amongst a bunch of little moments throughout.

You're absolutely dead on about contracts needing to be "one person gets one thing and the other person gets the other." That is a hard and fast rule in nhthcth, and it has everything to do with what the Web is.

One of my favorite bits about TMA world building is that the fears as so metaphysical. Which makes for a very fun (again, for lack of a better word) magic system. I hate it when magic systems break their own rules or become too powerful and you can just supercharge on the Power Of Friendship to do basically anything if you Believe Enough. Personally, I think characters get to really shine and show their intelligence when you stick them with very narrow and firm rules and make them work inside that system without breaking it. TMA in particular does an amazing job with that.

The Fears are the platonic ideals of their own identities and they legitimately cannot resist what they are. The episode with the Web's theatre production best encapsulated this: The Web said something along the lines of "If only you could see the strings on me."

In that same episode, Jon almost got trapped in the Web domain watching endless plays, because the Eye could not resist what it is, and what it is is something that spectates pain endlessly. The Web couldn't resist trapping Jon in there, because that's what it is, despite the fact that it would have fucked its own endgame if it trapped the Archivist in its fucked up theatre production until the End claimed them all. They're incredibly powerful beings, but they're still, in a way, trapped by their own nature. Humans can change, adapt, be different, but the Entities can't be anything but what they are.

In nhthcth there's a line that i tend to use again and again to encapsulate this, and it's usually something along the lines of "These things only are what they are."

They're not versatile forces. They're not a flexible tool like most magic systems where you can use this abstract and malleable force to cast the Spell of Fire and the Spell of Healing and the Spell of Ketamine Ape. They can only do what their own existence allows them and they cannot resist their own nature. It's one of the reasons why Jon in nhthcth is so insistent that the Eye can't be used as a force for good--good is completely outside of its existence. If you know anything about Greek philosophy, I think Plato's idea of the forms is pretty analogous to what the Entities are and how they work.

Which is also why Jon's like, "Duh, of course it's the Web that's got us bound and not the Eye. That's what the Web does."

The Eye just isn't about binding and trapping. What Jonah can use it to do is completely limited to stuff that falls under the Eye's umbrella. He could have the most powerful connection to the Eye on the planet (he doesn't), but that doesn't mean he can supercharge on Eye God Juice and blast a hole through the wall with the power of his mind, right? That would make the entire magic system in TMA ridiculous. In the same way, he can't use the Eye to enforce contract terms. That's not what the Eye does.

That's the Web, through and through. So when you're considering the contract, you have to think in terms of what the Web is.

The thing about the Fears is that they're shown to be a little multifaceted in that multiple distinct fears fit beneath the same umbrella with them. Take the Eye. The fear of someone knowing your deepest, darkest secrets fits beneath it, right? And that's very much Jonah's area of expertise. He probably fed on Martin's terror about being discovered for forging his CV for years. He neutralized Daisy by finding out the secrets that hurt her and using them against you. He's the invasive, watching part of the eye that may know your secrets and want to use it against you.

but the Eye is also the fear of someone watching your pain, your suffering, and (for lack of a better term) getting off on it. Enjoying it. It's bleeding out in the street and, when help finally arrives, they just sit down next to you and watch eagerly as you die.

That is so much the Archivists role.

Sometimes, I think of how terrifying the Archivist would be if it wasn't Jon in the role. Don't get me wrong--he has his moments of terrifying power, and he definitely didn't get good reviews on yelp from statement givers. But, fundamentally, he does care.

But imagine you go to the Magnus Institute under the assumption that they may help. You sit there and you tell them the worst fucking thing that ever happened to you. It's like you're experiencing it a second time, in all the horrific detail. You're retraumatized all over again, and then the Statement ends and you're sitting there, tape recorder still running, and you realize the person you went to for help just... enjoyed every second of pain you went through. There's one episode in particular that I think pulled this feeling off so well--the one where the guy in Scotland who found Gertrude's circle opened with something along the lines of "I don't care about any of this. I just want to know if you'll save my son." Like, imagine the horrible, crushing horror of going to someone for help and the moment you realize that were never going to do anything. They just wanted to watch you die too.

It's also one of the reasons that I think that Jon, for all he thrived as the Archivist, kept so much of who he was because of the inaction part specifically. In Season 1, he makes these vague mentions to fights he's getting into with Elias. Elias keeps lecturing him about noninterference, how they're here to research and not interfere, and Jon has these moments were he's like "anyway I don't give a fuck there's fucking leitners out there and if i have my way there will be a hell of a lot less of them." He legitimately says at one point that he's going to get another lecture about Institute mission statements and watching without interference.

Jon made so many bad choices when he was Becoming, but the one he consistently made against Becoming was that, almost against his will, he wanted to save people. That's picking the opposite of what the Eye is, and I think that that's the part of him that he got to keep.

that was more of an aside and not so relevant to the question. i got on a tangent. but it's here now so it stays. i already typed it. Anywho.

Jonah can't do what Jon does. He can't compel answers out of people. He's a panopticon, and the fear he embodies is that someone may be watching you and catch you in the act. It's not the fear of someone forcing the information out of you. But Jon can't do with Jonah does either. He can't just hop through eyes and spy on people. That's not his relationship with the Eye or the part of it he embodies.

They both have a very metaphysical limitation to their own experience with the Eye, because the idea of the Eye itself is just a human classification. Maybe Jon's sky blue and Jonah's dark blue and the Eye's all the blues, but at the end of the day, we just made up the idea of "blue" to explain our own experience with colors. They don't get to wield the full spectrum of "colors" available under the Eye. They can both be attached to the Eye but they're completely limited to what it means to be sky blue versus dark blue.

So it's important to remember that when you consider the contract, because it's just an aspect of the Web. It's not every aspect of the Web.

The Web is the fear of being totally under control of another--think raymond fielding in Hill Top Road, Mr. Spider, forcing people to walk, that kind of thing--but it's not just that. It's also the fear of being manipulated. Of being outmaneuvered. And I think that fits much more metaphysically with what a contract is than being under total and absolute control.

A contract is just an agreement of rules that two parties have to abide by, right? And sometimes the contract is way more favorable to one party than the other, but we also recognize that there's limits to that. You named a very big one--"this for that." For contracts to be enforceable, there has to be this thing we call "consideration." I get this, you get that. If the contract read "I have to give you one million dollars and you don't have to do anything" that'd be a gratuitous promise and it wouldn't be an enforceable contract.

That being said, consideration doesn't have to be balanced. The contract doesn't have to be fair. I don't know a super huge amount of British law (though a lot of American law is derived from it) but in american contract law we have a standard that basically says there has to be a "mere peppercorn" of consideration. We're not going to see if the exchange is fair, just if there is an exchange. there's this huge body of law around what's allowed in contracts and how contracts should be interpreted because we recognize that, at a certain point, something isn't a contract anymore. It breaks the rules of exchange.

And I think that very much goes towards the real fear the Web would be working with when it comes to the contracts. Think of like, law dramas. People like law dramas because the characters show off how clever they are. They're working in some system of rules and then at the eleventh hour they pull out some kind of loophole or interpretation that saves the day, right? The fact that there are limits and rules to what the characters can do is exactly what makes it so exciting when they figure out how to flip them in their favor. You need to have the chance to succeed in the system, however small, or it all just kind of becomes meaningless. There's no point in manipulation or machinations if you instantly lose no matter what.

That's the exact fear the Web would be playing on with the contracts, in my mind. It's being at the mercy of someone who has to follow the same rules as you, but they're grossly skewed in the other person's favor and the other person is better at using them. It's being stuck in a game where both players have to follow the rules but you have no idea what the rules are, and the other player gets to know them and have them severely favor them.

But the entire fear just becomes kind of ridiculous if it's not limited. It kind of becomes like a game of make believe between little kids if you can just write something in the contract without limitation. Like saying "well, my power is at one million percent" "my power is at one BILLION percent" "my power is at FIVE TRILLION percent." Right? Like, if you're playing that game, the rules don't really mean anything. It's all just bullshit. It doesn't invoke the fear of someone manipulating the rules against you. If the contract terms don't enforce obligations against Jonah too, it just sort of leaves the realm of what fear this is, which breaks the rules of the magic system. Being totally at someone's mercy is just a different fear than having someone outmaneuvering you at rules you both are stuck with.

Which means that, for the contract to be what it is, Jonah has to be bound by it in some way. It has to follow some kind of rules that bind him too. It can be very unbalanced and favor him greatly, but it still needs to set some kind of obligation and limit on him or the entire thing becomes ridiculous.

That's why Jonah so aggressively tries to keep Jon from trying to learn the terms of the contract. If Jon knew the way Jonah was bound by the contract, he'd be able to use the rules against him. Jon's playing the same game as Jonah, but he never got to see the rulebook.

We know two ways from canon that you can use to escape the contract: (1) gouge out your own eyes and (2) the archivist dies and the assistants can leave. but we never see the terms of the contract itself, and the fact that option #2 popped up in season 5 when all we knew before that was option #1 means that maybe there are more ways to break the contract and maybe there aren't. Maybe it's just options 1 and 2, or maybe there's other ways to escape we never figured out. Why do options 1 & 2 work? Is it explicitly written out somewhere in the binding instrument? Is it some loophole that not even elias expected? All we know for certain is that ways out of the contract include but may not be limited to options 1 and 2.

So, yes, Jon gets paid. But is that a term of the contract? Was that the consideration that Jonah wrote down in the Web's binding contract, or is there something else? Jon doesn't know, so he can't use it against him.

Maybe Jonah does have to pay Jon under the contract. Or he's only paying Jon to keep up appearances. Like, yeah, maybe the metaphysically binding contract would allow him to chain people here without paying them, but payroll would still have massive questions about why the Institute Head's angry adoptive son has been the Institute's unpaid slave worker for the past decade.

One of Jonah's biggest strategies to keep Jon from escaping is to abide very strictly by what may or may not be the terms of the Web's contract. Jon can't deduce what the rules are if Jonah voluntarily plays by more rules than he has to.

Take Elias's promise to Tim, for example. Jon still doesn't even know how the Web contract is formed. It sure as hell isn't simply the contract that most employees see--there's no clause that says "and by the way you can never ever quit or leave or you will die xoxoxoxo." Are all the terms already written down somewhere he can't find? Could oral promises be binding? He has no idea, because Elias is never going to act in a way that lets him eliminate the possibility. He'll follow the letter of his promise, and maybe that's because he has to or he'll breach the contract, or maybe that's because he's choosing to keep his promise when he doesn't have to. Elias keeps the terms of the contract unclear by following more rules than he has to.

It's one of the reasons why he uses so much doublespeak. Elias says something like "I'll keep my word, and you'll have to do the same." That only tells us things we already knew--Tim would have to be bound by the contract and wouldn't be able to leave. He'll keep his word, but does Elias have to under the contract? If he broke his word, Jon would be able to conclusively tell that oral conditions are non-binding. He'd know that there's some kind of outside binding instrument that has the rules already set out, and Elias can't change them with an oral promise. But if Elias toes the letter of the oral condition no matter what, then it could be because he has to or it could be because he chose to.

There are rules that Elias has to abide by, but Jon is only pretty certain of a few: 1) He has to have Jon's signature before he moves people into his department. He can't give him assistants unless Jon signs off on it first. Jon only got that much because Elias tried so damn hard to get his signature for the transfer. If Elias could break that rule, there's a pretty good chance that he would have, but he didn't so it probably means he can't. It's a place the contract almost definitely binds him too. 2) the contract kills you if you spend too long away from the Institute, but Elias has a way of letting you stay away for longer. If Jon leaves without approval, then he gets sick within a few weeks. But he's made it months away from the Institute just because Elias approved the leave.

So is that because Elias is the one who triggers the contract killing you in the first place? Or does he have a way of stopping a power that will automatically go off.

If the contract reads, "In the case of unapproved absences, the Head of the Institute may file Form B45, the 'Kill My Errant Employees' Form, and the employee will suffer a heart attack within a period not to exceed fourteen (14) days," then they'd be able to pretty effectively escape just by finding a way to immobilize Elias permanently--chuck him in the Buried, he'll never die but he also won't be able to file a Kill My Errant Employee Form. But if the contract reads "In the case of unapproved absences, the employee will suffer a heart attack within a period not to exceed fourteen (14) days unless the Head of The Institute files Form U95, Approved Leave of Absences," then they need him alive and mobile to file a leave of absence form so Jon won't fucking die the next time he's kidnapped for a month. Or maybe a leave of absence form isn't necessary if Jon's only kept away because of a kidnapping. Maybe the contract reads "In the case of unapproved and voluntary absences" and being involuntarily missing isn't a breach at all. They don't know, because Elias is going to file the fucking leave of absence form whether or not he has to.

If they knew the exact rules and minute details of the contract terms, they could wriggle their way into an exception that makes their conditions more livable. Instead, they're just stuck with a very broad correlation between Elias's action and/or inaction and the contract not killing you when you leave for long periods on approved absences. Maybe they could just chuck him in the Buried and fuck off, but fuck if they know, and that's the sort of risk you really can't take unless you're certain.

A lot of Jon testing boundaries with Elias has been trying to figure out the boundaries of the contract. Remember in the martyrs chapter, where Martin is like "jon why do you have an employee email you're like sixteen???" it's because jon was already an employee, and employees are required to have an official email. He knew it and Elias knew it even if no one else did.

If Elias refused him an official institute email, Jon would know that the contract does not require him to provide all employees with Institute-standard resources as outlined in the employee manual. Maybe sections of the employee manual isn't binding, maybe the entire thing isn't binding. Jon knows breaking the Institute dress code probably isn't a part of the binding contract because of his Epic Fashion Moments (or, if it is, the penalty isn't death like leaving is), but does that apply to all parts of the employee manual? If he doesn't get an official email at the shiny age of sixteen when he's Not Supposed To Be Employed, then he knows another section of the employee manual just doesn't have teeth. But if Elias just gives him what any employee would be entitled to, then it could be because he had to or it could be because he chose to.

It's also the reason why getting people to quit was important to jon--yes, he was trying to get people free of the Institute, but if he pushed someone into quitting, he'd be able to test out some very valuable information about the contract. Can people quit if Elias allows it? Maybe the rule is that the Archives can't quit, but everyone else can if Elias allows it. Maybe everyone can quit if Elias lets them. Maybe no one can quit and they're all fucked. If Elias can let some people quit but never lets them quit, then Jon has no data points to work with when trying to figure out how people escape the contract.

Which is also why elias flipped his shit and burned the HR records the one time Jon managed to get his hands on them. Over the years, there have been people who unknowingly stumbled into one of the rules binding Elias, and he let them quit without protest. There's a very good chance that that's because he had to let them quit. If Jon could find the common denominator between people who quit successfully, then maybe he could figure out how to do the same, which is why Elias has spent so long making sure he gets as little information as possible to work with. Jon can't win the game if he never learns the rules.

It is important to note that Elias breaking the terms of the contract that bind him may not be "and now Jon can finally go home oh my fucking god." The penalties for breach of contract, that we know of, are death. Does Elias face the same penalties if he breaches? Does he face some kind of other penalty? We don't know yet, because Elias is guarding those terms like his fucking life depends on it.

#nhthcth #elias is guarding those terms like his fucking life depends on it because it does #the SECOND daisy figures out an exception that lets her kill him it's on sight #she's so so much more insane than she was in season 4 of canon in nhthcth #she did NOT get the sort of intervention an extended stay in the buried would bring and her stance on life is different than canon daisy's #but she has her little goblin man and she will go absolutely fucking insane if anyone looks at him #nhthcth was really my “i'm making contract law everyone's problem” fic #i will make my little interests and passions everyones problem #also never be sorry for coming to talk to me i love chatting about fics and its never a bother #if i don't reply to an ask know that it sits in my draft folders and haunts me and it will be finished one day #sometimes replies are same day sometimes they're gonna take a year i also dont like that this is how i am

[merakiui]

What about Riddle bingo??

I love Riddle!!! :D he was and still is my first favorite twst character. His design is very cute and I’m inclined to like it even more because he and the dorm he’s in are inspired by Alice in Wonderland. I also love the color red, so that makes him a perfect character in my book hehe!! <3 not only does he have a pretty design, I also really like his personality and how he has moments where he can be so soft and kind.

Book 1 still sticks with me even though it has been so long since it was first released. The slow but sure changes Riddle has been making in order to be better than his past self and not be as strict or hard on himself as he is with others!!! It’s very nice to see he’s making gradual progress, even if to the twst characters it doesn’t feel like much has changed. His backstory is always so painful to witness during his Overblot scene. The line “Mama, what rule should I follow to make this pain go away?” AAAAAA THAT HURTS… RIDDLE, YOU DESERVE SO MUCH HAPPINESS… T-T he’s also a relatable character, especially with his trauma regarding his parent and the lasting impacts of being labeled a golden child, as well as how much pressure he was put through to ensure he’d excel in many areas of study. It’s so sad to see how much of a negative influence his mother has had on him. >_< I need him to be happy. He deserves the world and all of the strawberry tarts in it. orz

Like Azul, he’s also a character who is so much fun to write!!!! It could be because Riddle is one of my favorites, so naturally I’d have fun writing him. But I also like putting him into concepts where rules might be broken, such as something as simple as Riddle foregoing his usual healthy bedtime just to stay up a little later to talk to darling because he likes the late-night conversations he has with them in the Heartslabyul kitchen hehe. <3

Beyond that, I think the sides where he is unintentionally cute are so fun. When he talks to the hedgehogs! Or when he always checks on them even if it isn’t his day to tend to them! Or the fact he does crosswords and even makes his own once he’s filled the workbook! It’s very cute and fluffy to think about!!!!

AND HIS OVERBLOT!!!! It’s such a beautiful design. He’s so gothic Victorian and I adore it. All of the little details… the fact that he’s shown with CLAWS?????? Or, at the very least, very sharp nails. Omg he’s so pretty and spooky. TvT I need to burn the image of his Overblot into my brain so I’ll always be reminded of how perfect it is.

#twisted chit chat #uwuuwwaa riddle my beloved orz

[drill-teeth-art]

I had a few gripes about some episodes/things that I felt could've been done better. Can I ask for your critiques?

Welcome to Otto's Critique corner. Here are my guidelines for discussing critique with me for everyone's reference.

Repeat after me.

It's okay if we disagree on the flaws of Earthspark. Other people will have different opinions and preferences. Just because someone disagrees with me doesn't make them a bad person. (This is something I spent some time learning and understanding when I was younger, so I always like to add it as one of my rules.)

We will not use this critique space as a platform to be rude to others. We may point out flaws in others' arguments and note where we disagree, but this is a space of discussion and not harassment.

If we feel too worked up by the topics, we will step back. We are responsible for our mental health and emotions. We are capable of stopping ourselves from lashing out at others, so we will be mindful of our emotions.

Onto the main critiques under the cut. Feel free to ask me to expand on certain things as you like.

More of a technical writing issue, but I think the action scenes are written ineffectively. They all feel very slow paced. It comes across as when characters are not in frame, they aren't doing anything. It takes way too long to accomplish things for this reason that would resolve the conflict faster. The characters also actively choose to not do the obvious solution for plot reasons. So for people who write action scenes and such, this is stuff to watch out for. Your characters can do things when they're not in frame, you just have to imply it well enough. Writing conflict is more believable when you write in reasons why they can't do an easier solution. Like the terrans and Bumblebee literally could have gone to get Optimus and Megatron before going back to get Grimlock. If I remember right, one of the characters even suggested it. But they just didn't do it. The obvious plot patch is to have their radios be broken or Optimus and Megatron don't answer and they don't want to leave Grimlock alone too long. But that isn't addressed, and that can read very frustrating to the viewer that the characters ignore the obvious solutions.

Onto the thematic critiques. Now to be fair, this story is incomplete as of now. I try to avoid fully critiquing something that lacks it's full context, but here are my thoughts on what I see so far. To begin, I am a fan of nuanced writing. I love villain redemptions done well and hero corruptions written well. It's important to show that people can change for the better and that good intentions don't justify certain actions. These are pretty easy to mess up writing though, and since I think it's such an important thing to write well, I tend to be harsher critiquing it. Again, it is okay if you disagree with my analysis or agree but want to add a point or agree with most but want to point out a detail I missed or even my own bias. Discussion is good.

Thematically, I think Earthspark shies away from confronting it's own major themes too much. Earthspark has heavy themes around oppression, alienation, trauma of the past haunting the present, and discovering that many people treat others they don't understand cruelly and choose not to understand them. These are very heavy themes, and (assuming the best intentions) I think the writers aren't bold enough about them. As a smaller in world example, Robby encounters his old friend who has biases against Transformers and repeats harmful talking points. Robby doesn't really say all that much about it, choosing to just take his terran siblings and leave. Now, this writing choice I don't have a huge issue with. It's not one person's responsibility to do the educating to someone about their bias. I would have personally liked to see the writers let Robby get angrier, but I don't mind the "I don't have the energy to explain this to you and it's not my job" approach in this instance. Later Robby's friend fixes the graffiti on the bridge to not be a hateful message. Now, it is nice of that character to do that, but I'm frustrated that we saw no substantial confrontation and education. We as the viewers were not shown that this character was more directly confronted with their own biases, and that's somewhat of a pattern that is frustrating. Megatron at the memorial park after the terrans reenact his war memories in front of him doesn't get mad at them or explain to them that war and trauma isn't a laughing matter. At least he doesn't explain it explicitly which I would like to see. But this happens a lot. Megatron expresses to Optimus he doesn't like the devices GHOST is building that control Transformers' mode they're allowed to be in. Optimus sort of vaguely says they have to do this for the greater good, and the topic is dropped. Robby walks away from his friend without explaining why it's cruel to buy into anti Transformers rhetoric. The topic is dropped and suddenly the other kid has a change of heart. Nightshade and a nonbinary person have a discussion about gender that I personally really hoped would go deeper. The topic is dropped as the scene changes after a few sentences.

I feel like the way the writers aren't diving into their themes more is frustrating. It comes off kind of insulting to me. And I am sure that isn't the writers' intentions. And again, I don't think Earthspark is an all bad series or that others shouldn't enjoy it. I know good representation is a huge struggle, and I'm actually really happy to see Nightshade as nonbinary rep even though I also wish they explored more with them. It's just frustrating to see the writing shy away from getting into the representation they're boasting so much that I can't even tell what they're trying to say about their own themes.

(Please no huge spelling and grammar errors fingers crossed.)

#ask #otto thoughts #transformers #transformers earthspark #tf earthspark #earthspark #earthspark spoilers

[aotopmha]

Looking at all of the FF16 posts I've made, I think I've touched on pretty much everything I've wanted in regards of the story.

I've talked about the characters, the pacing, the spectacle and the ending with all of the positives and negatives that come with them.

From the frustrations of an ambigious ending to the compelling elements. From fantastic character writing to too little time given to fantastic characters.

And I think only the key themes of the story are left to discuss, which requires me to go much more in-depth on Clive.

I think I'll start with the issues.

And #1 on this list is that Joshua survived.

Clive's character arc about owning up to what he did despite it not entirely being by his choice is undermined by the fact that he met Joshua again and that Joshua is alive again to begin with.

This is an extremely old trope many stories fall victim to, often undermining many otherwise fantastic character stories.

In fact, most of the implied deaths from that night don't happen. Torgal, Ambrosia and Wade are alive.

(And I am actually happy the animal abuse is lighter than first lead on, but the humans should be dead for Clive's character arc to fully hold water.)

And yeah, Murdoch still died by Ifrit and Pheonix and so did many other soldiers. Bringing in Hanna is a fantastic narrative choice to make Clive face his past.

Clive also suffered much as a slave, so he still has a bunch issues and hurt to work through, but Joshua is the key target of his survivor's guilt and self-blame.

As much as I love what results from them meeting again, I think the new Phoenix should've been a new character that Clive met early on (after his self-battle) and slowly ended up building a strong friendship with, which would've given Clive even further opportunity to reflect and move on from what he "did".

Much more cynical people would probably say this detail entirely ruins the story because it literally takes away the primary reason for Clive's guilt, but I think because some of the death stuck and Clive put in the work before he met Joshua, it gives the foundation a shake, rather than plain destroying it.

Jill actually has Clive's arc, but without any of these issues because it is kept mostly on general armies – we see her kill many as Shiva without setting a very specific character as a target for her guilt, but I think it is still just as effective.

Thematic issue #2 is Clive's hero complex of taking everything upon himself.

It's great that Jill brings this up many times, but depending on how you read the ending, it still feeds into him continuing to sacrifice himself.

This is a much less egrigious potential misstep, which actually can be explained by Clive once again being forced into an awful choice, but I think one worth bringing up regardless.

I think the stronger aspect here are the themes and allegory surrounding the mothercrystals.

I'd even argue the message of energy abuse and conflation of Ultima with the world's elite and how this is connected to dismantling broken power systems is one of the better ones I've seen because it tends to be so, so extremely heavy-handed in 90% of stories that explore it.

What stories also often don't do is connect the resource hoarding with the suffering of the poor.

The elite hoarding resources for themselves and then wanting to kill the "lesser" for not "being perfect" and to "clean the world of them because they ruined my paradise" isn't more subtle, but it is more layered than just "mining bad" or "nuclear weapons bad".

And for a system to change, it had to be destroyed from the very foundation, in this case, destroying the hurtful system of Mothercrystals, Bearers, Dominants and Eikons.

I've seen people read the destruction of the source of all magic as an insult to Final Fantasy because magic is what makes the fantasy, but I think that's not the allegory this story is going for.

The crystals represent an oppressive system in this narrative.

And oppressive systems don't usually fall without heavy sacrifices.

Looked at from this perspective, the interpretation that Clive died at the end also makes sense.

You generally can't destroy a long-standing system without spilling any blood. It often takes the lives of many brave and great people especially for any change to take place.

And this struggle also entails a journey to self-actualisation and awareness for the oppressed.

(In this game this entails the people gaining freedom from the elite of the various countries and in turn freedom from Ultima.)

If the systems stand for a long time, the people under them become complacent and comfortable – "used to it" and hostile to anyone who would break the status quo because what awaits them might be worse than what they have now.

I really like how the narrative addresses this through Cid and later Clive and how they are looked down upon by the Bearers they rescue.

And I really like how Barnabas is a culmination of this defeatism in face of the system.

Accepting the system and relinquishing free will is the easier option because the alternative brings too much pain.

These themes are the reason why I don't dismiss Barnabas and Ultima outright as characters.

They are one-dimensional concepts, but they are relevant concepts that are interesting on an idea level if you dig a little bit.

And Annabella is fantastic because that kind of obsession with eugenics and pure blood is exactly what leads to the end she got. Self-destruction.

I think in general the story is super strong thematically. Clive is my biggest issue because of Joshua, but I think the ideas stand. Ultima and Barnabas just needed better prose.

I've seen complaints about thematic inconsistency, but how it starts on a smaller scale and moves to a cosmic one while sticking to the same themes is one of the strongest aspects of the story for me.

#Final Fantasy 16 #Final Fantasy XVI #FFXVI #FF16 #Final Fantasy #FF