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shredsandpatches · 3 years

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(1) You reblogged something the other day that my brain won't let go of. I fully admit to knowing next to nothing other than what you reblog and comment on about Richard and Anne (I follow you for content other than that) but this post struck a chord in me. It was discussing Anne's barrenness; the failure of her childlessness. And it's just ... how do we know she was the barren one in that relationship? Richard didn't have any children so why is the blame on her shoulders?

(2) Other than it's traditionally the woman's fault. Am I missing something?

No, you’re totally right--we don’t know exactly why Richard and Anne were infertile, or whose problem it was; there’s no way of knowing because it seems pretty likely that Anne was the only woman Richard ever had sex with. Usually you’ll even see historians point that out, just in passing, that there’s no evidence that Richard was fertile, and in fact, some more recent scholars argue that Richard was much more concerned with how their lack of children reflected on him as both a man and a king.

Katherine Lewis has argued that Richard’s emphasis on his devotion to Edward the Confessor, who was believed to have had a chaste marriage (although historians of his reign don’t think he actually did), was meant to imply that he and Anne had done likewise. Kristen Geaman’s work has proved pretty conclusively that Richard and Anne didn’t have a chaste marriage, an idea that was always pretty improbable (they were both very conscious of their lineage and knew that they would need an heir to the throne), by bringing to light a letter Anne wrote to her brother, Wenceslaus IV of Bohemia, around 1384, which may suggest that she had a miscarriage around that time, and certainly demonstrates that she was optimistic that she would have a successful pregnancy in the future. So they were definitely trying -- Geaman also analyzes an apothecary bill from 1393–94, the last year of Anne’s life, and concludes that, based on the medicines she purchased, she was probably still trying to conceive at the time of her apparently sudden death. If she did have a miscarriage (or more than one, but that must remain speculative*) it’s possible that the problem was on her end physically, and that she could conceive but not carry to term -- this may be supported by the fact that most of her (full and half) siblings had only one child or none at all, while Richard’s Holland half-siblings had lots of kids -- but that still doesn’t make it her fault, and clearly Richard didn’t hold it against her.

Geaman’s dissertation devotes a lot of time to arguing that Anne probably wasn’t seen as the one to blame for the lack of an heir, and that Richard’s contemporary critics, during the reign and certainly after his deposition, would probably have placed the blame squarely on him for his immaturity and unmanliness** -- although there are other scholars who see the generally lukewarm treatment of Anne in the chronicles as a sign of her “ambivalent legacy” (a term used by Michael Hanrahan in his reading of Chaucer’s Clerk’s Tale as being focused on Richard and Anne’s lack of an heir; there’s also a good article by Anna Duch where she addresses why Thomas Walsingham, specifically, might have resented Anne, although it reflects much better on Anne than it does Walsingham). She follows Lewis in arguing that Richard was probably unnerved enough by this that after Anne’s death he wanted to imply that he and Anne had had a celibate marriage and thus prove his manly self-control, but concedes that any efforts made in this direction were not successful among his contemporaries (although they certainly worked on historians centuries later). I really love her work on Anne as queen and historical figure -- she is pretty much the go-to person for scholarship on Anne as a person rather than as a symbolic cultural figure -- but I’m not sure I’m convinced by the “Richard pretended to have a chaste marriage” argument for that basic reason; the primary audience for it would have been people who had been close to the couple, who had an unconventionally companionate marriage for the time period, built an island resort palace with unprecedented levels of privacy, and were actively trying to conceive to the degree that they sought medical intervention. (And it’s worth pointing out that @nuingiliath has suggested to me that perhaps Richard might also have wanted to protect Anne’s legacy by presenting her as a holy virgin rather than a barren queen, if Lewis’ and Geaman’s speculations are true.)

All that said: you do have a lot more attention paid to infertility by scholars/historians who are talking about Anne, and I think a lot of this is based on a) as you said, the unexamined assumption that infertility is the woman’s fault physically, and b) the assumption that infertility is the woman’s problem and that it’s the queen’s only job (except warrior queens like Isabella of France of Margaret of Anjou). Christopher Fletcher’s book on Richard and medieval masculinity goes so far to call Richard and Anne’s marriage a disaster, despite its incredible success on the personal level, because of their infertility. But queenship studies in the last couple of decades have made great strides in examining the role of queens beyond providing heirs -- which, of course, was part of the queen’s job, but not the entirety of it -- whereas fertility isn’t really represented as an issue for men most of the time, and I definitely hope that’s changing.

*It’s what I do in my fictional writing, but I wouldn’t be able to support it in something scholarly. They’re different interpretive practices, obviously.

**You still sometimes get this today, like in Lisa Hilton’s book where she argues that Richard wasn’t mature enough to consummate his marriage to Anne, or John Bowers’ work where he argues -- based entirely on readings of Chaucer, like Chaucer would have known what was going on in the king’s marriage -- that Richard and Anne had a celibate marriage because Richard was using piety to hide his horrible deviant gayness. These people can fuck right off. You also sometimes get authors who argue that they had a celibate marriage on Anne’s initiative and in imitation of some important Bohemian royal saints, although nearly all of the saints in question had celibate marriages after having children, which is why Anne was able to exist in the first place! She would certainly have known this, and would not have had a chance to give up marital relations because she died childless while still of reproductive age. Anyway scholars who suggest that a celibate marriage was Anne’s idea seem to think it gives her more agency, like a sexually active married woman who wanted children can’t have agency. 🙄

#anne of bohemia is my forever girl #miscarriage for ts #pregnancy for ts #otp: my derlyng is a bundel of myrre to me #seashells-and-bookshelves #long post #i didn't realize it was gonna get this long #and going back to put in a cut will bork the post #sorry everyone #kristen geaman used to post on tumblr #i have met her in person and consider her a friend #(although we have sorta lost touch)#just for full disclosure #also i have references for all this hmu if you want them #i was just too lazy to put them all in

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hp-imagines-07 · 4 years

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Sirius Black x Fem!Gryffindor!Reader

Universe: Harry Potter; The Marauders era

Type: PURE FLUFF, ok a bit angsty but really, nothing much

Summary: [y/n] had been overwhelming herself with plenty of stuff and Sirius just wants to help her because he loves her.

Request: yes|NO - pls send more requestssss

Prompt: xxx

Warnings: just cursing really

Song: xxx

Word Count: 1.3K (kinda of a blurb)

Posted: 15th of October 2020 - !PART OF 500 FOLLOWERS' CELEBRATION!

A/N: ok, i wanted to write a pure fluff one for Sirius and here it is!! it's not really big but i hope you like it bc it's just cringing fluff

My Others Accounts: @imagines-07 (Principal Account) | @obx-imagines-07 (Outer Banks) | @stit-imagines-07 (Stranger Things & IT) | @cm-imagines-07 (Criminal Minds) | @mcu-imagines-07 (Marvel Comics Universe)

MY MASTERLIST

!!hp-imagines-07's 500 FOLLOWERS CELEBRATION!!

As [y/n] felt her eyes heavy and starting to close as an instinct, she dropped her quill at the table and rubbed her eyes on the hardest way possible (without hurting herself, obviously) to take all the sleepiness far away from the bloody busy girl she has been being the last couple of weeks.

After a long breath, [y/n] grabbed the quill again and came back to the essay Slughorn had asked for everyone - except for his dearest students fucking dipshit - to the next class. Well, he had asked for this essay more than a week ago, but just as [y/n] started to read the book about the topic asked, the full moon got before she had time to think anything related to classes.

The Marauders never let her help them outside, so [y/n] would always wait for them at the common room, but this one was by far the worst of the year. Remus had transformed before they got to the safe place in the forest and where he couldn't come back to Hogwarts and attack people there, so they (basically James and Sirius, because Peter couldn't help much on his animagus form) had to contain him the farthest away from the castle, what caused a lot more bruises than the expected.

[y/n] first helped an almost-passing-out Remus, who couldn't remember what happened outside but was feeling so bad with himself that not even all of them made him feel a little bit better. Then, after Moony and Wormtail went to sleep, [y/n] helped James and Sirius with their worst bruises and cuts until the very late night.

Besides the fact that [y/n] was tutoring a third-year in Charms almost every day (because, oh, the little boy needed help with the new spells...), McGonnagal had been overwhelming her with Prefect duties. It wasn’t on purpose, Minerva just never thought that it was too much for her because [y/n] never said anything and always accepted any challenge.

But the girl was so overwhelmed…

The first one to notice was Marlene. She saw how [y/n] was barely getting any hours of sleep by being awake in the middle of the night plenty of times with the girl cursing under her breath while getting something wrong on the paper. Then Marlene talked to Lily, who is a heavy sleeper and didn't notice the missing hours of sleep from their best-friend.

After Marlene talked to Lily about [y/n], the red-headed started to notice the big bags under [y/n]'s eyes, the tiredness on her voice, how she dressed the first clothes that appeared in front of her, the way she was always looking so stressed over something that no one could point to…

Lily then, warned Sirius about how his girlfriend needed his help more than ever and she also told him to not ask her if she wanted his help to anything, because the fucking stubborn woman would never accept help from anyone else.

And when Sirius saw [y/n] almost crying with angriness over her essay at the other side of the common room, he knew that was the moment he should act as the perfect boyfriend he was and help his love. Ignoring all the questioning looks the other three Marauders sent on his way by suddenly getting up and forgetting all about the prank they were planing on a few Slytherins, Sirius got up from the chair he was sitting at and walked in the direction of [y/n].

As the girl started to write again with her quill and the harder part being to keep her eyes open, Sirius sat on the chair beside her making [y/n] jump in surprise. "My God..." She muttered with her hand above her heart and trying to calm it down.

"Sorry for the little scare, love," Sirius said and grabbed [y/n]'s quill from her hand and closed her book before she could even protest. "but now, I'm taking you to bed..." Sirius started putting all [y/n]'s belongings on her bag while she tried to hold a few things back and protest with him, but Sirius wouldn't just give up.

Just when he had finished, Sirius began listening to her. "What the fuck, Sirius?!" The girl said furiously at her boyfriend, that gulped with her angry expression. "I need to finish this essay today! What do you think you're doing?" Sirius didn't give himself the work to answer all the questions she was throwing at him, but just threw her over his shoulder instead. "Sirius Orion Black put me down right now! I swear I'm gonna kill you, you bastard!" [y/n] screamed at him, while struggling to make him put her back down.

"[y/n] [y/l/n], shut up and let me take care of you." He simply said and she just groaned out in frustration, [y/n/n] knew that whatever she did to make him put her down wouldn't work, and just let him take her to wherever Sirius wanted for her to be.

Sirius started to walk towards the girls’ dormitory but just as he stepped his foot, the stairs became a slider and he found himself being grateful that he wouldn't be able to take [y/n] to her dorm, where there were plenty of tired girls already sleeping. So he turned around and walked upstairs to his still empty dorm with [y/n] over his left shoulder and her bag over his right one.

The first thing he did after passing through his door was to put [y/n] down. "Thank God, I was becoming nauseated on that position..." She muttered under her breath when her feet touched the floor. "Why did you bring me here, Sirius?" [y/n] asked with a monotonous tone and sat at his bed, knowing that he wouldn't give [y/n]'s bag back to her.

"You need to rest my love..." He started while walking to his bed and standing in front of her but just as his girlfriend was going to protest with him, he continued. "Don't worry about your Potions essay, I'll finish that for you tomorrow while you take care of the tasks Minnie gave you… Just don't worry, ok?" Sirius asked with both of his hands on [y/n]'s cheeks, making her look at him right in the eyes and she softly nodded at him, already feeling her eyes heavy with his caring and loving touch.

In a matter of minutes [y/n] was wearing just one of Sirius' favourite muggle-band shirt and sleep shorts and Sirius was getting ready to bed with her.

Both of them laid on his bed, under the warm and comfy blankets and held each other as close as they could. "How long has it been that we didn't do this?" Sirius muttered with closed eyes and sleepy voice.

"I don't know… But I'm never letting you go again." [y/n] whispered back against his neck and softly sighed. "It feels like it's been years since I got relaxed like this for the last time..."

Sirius just hummed back at her, but too focused on her touch to care. [y/n]'s body was laying above his, with their legs tangled together, her head buried on the crook of his neck, his nose feeling her scent coming from her hair, her soft hands resting on his bare shoulders and his hands under her (his) shirt caressing her back.

"I love you." "I love you, my love."

[y/n] fell asleep in a question of seconds while Sirius was trying to memorize this feeling of their bodies pressed against each other.

It was in moments like this that Sirius knew that home wasn't a place where you lived and it was comfortable, home was a person who you can always ask for help when needed and it doesn't matter where you'll feel like you're home.

[y/n] is Sirius' home and he couldn't be more grateful to be hers.

☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾☽☾

Taglist:

@cheapglitter @Weasleysmuch @missmulti @writtenbypics @littlemaladaptivedaydreamer @dralf0yy @buff-bork @rd155 @seppys-return-to-madness @luciferedits @old-soul-young-mind @pxtrickhxckstettxr @sleep-i-ness @marauderswhisperer @liberty01 @gweaslvy @weasleytwins-41 @siriuslysirius07 @turtlepad @ilovewinter101 @monimillion @simonsbluee @smokey102 @aberette13 @yourbloodyqueen @loverboyreid @eeshea @susceptible-but-siriusexual @weareloserstogether

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sohin-ace · 4 years

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Jonathan - Danny

This is cross-posted from Wattpad and available on AO3. This is an old work, the writing has improved ever since.

Enjoy~

Jonathan Joestar was devastated. His beloved dog and best friend Danny had disappeared for three days now.

When Jonathan went to walk him, Danny got excited over a little squirrel and chased it. But when the teenager ran after his dog, he couldn't find him anywhere. He tried to call his name and searched for hours, but in vain.

The Joestars had put flyers, sent search teams, had the authorities back and Georges Joestar even offered a princely sum to whoever would find the beloved animal. But to no avail.

The young boy was laying down in the grass next to the stream, the place where he would usually hang out with Danny.

"Danny... If you were here, you would comfort me right now..." he trailed off sadly.

The sun was shining and the clouds were dancing in the blue sky, but Jonathan was blind to all of this beauty as his whole world turned grey. He felt lost without his best friend. He didn't realize the importance of his dog until he lost him.

The sun went down, and it was time for the dark haired male to come back home. As the night came and Jonathan went to bed, he pondered restlessly.

Where was Danny? Was he okay? Was he cold? Or hungry? Did someone find him? Was he in good hands? Was he far? Was he even alive?

Tears prickled in Jonathan's eyes, but he tried to hold them back. He had to be strong and not lose hope just yet. He was determined and will find his dog.

He finally fell into a dreamless slumber as another day without Danny was soon to begin.

The next day, Jonathan woke up and started his routine as usual. He felt empty, but still braved himself to live on his day, animated by the thought of maybe finding Danny today.

Later on in the afternoon, the teenager was coming home from school and, hopeful as he was, decided to walk around and search a bit more before returning home.

He walked to a place a little bit on the further side of his usual track, deciding it wouldn't hurt to check there even if it was unlikely that Danny could be there. He was desperate at this point, so he might as well try any place.

He found himself in a little clearing with a pond next to a small forest, if you could call it a forest, and heard the sound of a girl giggling. The boy got curious and followed the sweet sound.

"Hey! Not so fast little guy! Aww look at you, you're all dirty now!"

Jonathan became even more curious at the happy noises and came up to find a H/C haired girl, seemingly around his age, crouching in front of something.

He didn't say anything as the girl didn't notice him approaching from behind her. He stood still and stared at her from afar.

She then proceeded to cup some water from the pond and wash up the little creature in front of her.

"Here you go, I can't take you back to your owner looking all dirty, now can I?" She spoke softly to the animal, while cleaning it's paws.

The dog barked as if to agree and she chuckled.

"You are very smart..." she looked at the little engraved charm attached to the dog's collar. "...Danny Joestar."

The dog let out a happy 'bork!', recognizing his own name and licked the girl's face.

"Hahaha stop it, it tickles!" she patted the dog's head but was interrupted by a voice.

"Umm, excuse me, miss!" Jonathan called out to her and the girl flinched and abruptly whipped her head around.

"Y-yes...?" She hesitantly said, clearly intimidated by the tall Jonathan. She had put her arms protectively around the animal which the teenager noticed.

Before he could say anything else, the dog sprinted towards Jonathan, barking loudly and tail wagging.

"Danny!!! Oh my god Danny it's you!!" Jonathan kneeled and engulfed his beloved dog in his arms, laughing happily and running his hands up and down his fur while Danny peppered Jonathan with doggo kisses.

"I missed you so much!! I was so scared!"

The girl stood up, watching the scene with wide eyes. That boy was this dog's owner? What a fortunate coincidence! She wanted to ask his name to be sure it was indeed him, but the tall male beat her to it.

"Miss! Thank you so much for finding my dog! He was missing for days!" He stood up and walked towards her. "Ah! I didn't even introduce myself, my name is Jonathan Joestar. Nice to meet you!"

"Aah! Joestar? So you are indeed his owner! It's nice to meet you too, Jonathan." She smiled at the charming male, relieved.

"You can call me Jojo! And may I know the name of my savior?"

The girl blushed at how he adressed her. She shyly tucked a strand of hair behind her ear as she replied.

"Y/N L/N. It was nothing really, I just found Danny all alone this morning and took care of him until I could go find you..."

Jonathan smiled softly at her, and her heart melted at the sight. He was so handsome, and his eyes were such a deep blue, how did she not realize it sooner?

"I was so worried... I don't know what I would do without Danny in my life. But you brought him back to me safe and sound. You must be the angel I prayed for every night."

Jonathan looked at the H/C girl with such tender eyes, she swore she could feel her heart burst inside her chest.

"I-I... Jojo... Don't say things like that..." she blushed ear to ear, hiding her face in her hands, not knowing how to cope with this newfound love she just fell in.

The ebony haired male chuckled at how cute the girl acted and felt bad on his part.

"Haha, pardon me, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." he sheepishly rubbed the back of his head.

Danny suddenly jumped on her to grab her attention and panted happily.

"Aah, I'm going to miss you too Danny, but you're lucky to live with such a nice gentleman as Jojo!" She patted Danny's head and Jonathan flushed at the indirect compliment.

"Ah yes! Y/N, please let me invite you over for dinner!"

The young girl straightened up and looked back at the boy's ocean blue eyes, surprised. "Huh?"

"I would like to thank you for finding my dog. It's the least I can do. I want to show my father the face of the one who did me the most important of favors."Jonathan looked at her expectantly and she hesitated.

"I... I can't accept. This is too much, I didn't do it for a reward I-"

The male cut her off by grabbing both her hands in his. She gasped at the sudden act. His hands were so warm and comforting against her soft tiny ones.

"Please Y/N, honor me with your presence tonight. I will send a coach to your house, what do you say? 7pm, Is that good?" his voice was soft and convincing.

She was overwhelmed and flustered by the offer but eventually agreed as she couldn't fight this determined boy. He loudly cheered when the young lady nodded.

"Yes!! Father will be so happy! Let's go Danny! See you tonight Y/N!" The boy ran off with his best friend while waving happily at her.

She shyly waved back as her heart didn't stop pounding inside her ribcage. She brought her hands up to her chest in an attempt to calm it down.

She fell in love with the Joestar heir and now she was going to meet his father. 'What should I do?' She thought to herself, lovestruck.

On the other hand, Jonathan was extatic. Not only did he find his beloved furry best friend in good health, but he also met a beautiful and nice lady who he couldn't wait to court, if she was fine with it of course.

"Y/N L/N, truly an angel! I look forward to seeing your shining eyes again!" He told himself dreamily.

The boy ran off back to his mansion, already preparing his storytelling to his father.

Jonathan: Aah a girlfriend! Can't wait not to show her to Dio lol

Guys, you don't even know the pain of losing an animal until you have one. Legit don't have a dog, but if I lost my cat, my mind would shatter. I hope none of you will have to deal with what Jonathan had to go through in this one shot.

#jojo's bizarre adventure #jojo #jjba #phantom blood #jonathan #jonathan joestar #reader insert #x reader #writing #jojo no kimyou na bouken #jojo part 1 #part 1 #jonathan x reader #jonathan joestar x reader

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mittensmorgul · 4 years

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I've just read through your previous ask about a yellow bathroom from S13 and some older color meta posts, but I'm wondering if you had any thoughts on the use of yellow specifically thus far in S15. You noted, "Which brings us to yellow (and also yellow and blue together, which have always been a warning sign on Supernatural… she says as she’s watching 9.01 and looking at Hael wearing a sulfur-yellow sweater over a dark blue dress. Those are the colors of Heaven and irresistible duty)." Con't..

So far what’s jumped out at me is Amara’s yellow pant suit, the girl tonight (avoiding spoilers bc timezones) wearing a yellow beret and tie-thing, and most glaringly, Dean’s yellow over shirt at the end. We never see him wearing yellow, certainly not that blatantly, or at least not that I remember. (My memory is unreliable) ‘Heaven and irresistible duty’ certainly fit, but I’m wondering if you have any new thoughts or anything else to add.

***

hello! And welcome to the continuation of the chat I initiated with you while trying to work out what exactly to say here. I’m copy/pasting my chat rambling here and then going forward from there…

(editing this, because tumblr borked the formatting when I posted it... thanks for that >.>)

the way Lilith’s clothes were coded in this episode were effectively a trap. SHE was effectively a trap, I mean Chuck had “written her into the episode” specifically to “seduce dean” after all… and she did that… wearing an outfit that ScREAMED Cas, so I want to put together something coherent for you before replying :’D

coinofstone Gotcha. Thank you for teaching out. I don’t generally follow color meta, someone pointed me to some of your #color and temp posts so I dug through a little before sending in the ask - Lilith’s comment about Chuck’s pervy obsession with Dean was a giant klaxon that made me think of Dean’s concerns about Cas too. But it’s also another “Hey remember Amara” moment

mittensmorgul yeah, and it’s a really good point

coinofstone Absolutely. I look forward to reading your post on this, once you’ve had time to digest and get it all written

mittensmorgul you mentioned the “duty to heaven” association with that mustard yellow/tan color, and that seems really relevant since Lilith’s entire presence there was in service to Chuck’s story, even as an unwilling participant in it, while Dean’s wrestling with his entire relationship to Cas, questioning if any of it was even real, since Cas’s mission originated as “Duty to Heaven” in saving him from Hell

mittensmorgul And I think all of this will become textual in 15.09, in Dean’s prayer to Cas…Foreshadowing! But not the kind Chuck’s writing…

mittensmorgul heck, I think I might just copy paste what I wrote to you here, and reply to your messages. I think I’ve worked out what I need to say

(and now that I have permission to post this, we can move on to why this is so interesting)

Lilith lampshaded herself as Chuck’s plot device, effectively. She was reenacting her own previous plot line from 4.18, seducing one of the brothers. Last time it was Sam, this time it was Dean. I’ve already posted something else about this tonight. She actively critiqued Chuck’s writing all along. She saw through Chuck’s story enough– even while she was a basically manufactured element of his story– to be self-aware of her own function within that story, as well as to point at other elements of the story and tell Dean “this is foreshadowing, isn’t it dull and predictable?”

She’s like… the opposite of Becky in 15.04.

Chuck basically BEGGED Becky to give him “notes” on his draft, and Becky had approached it in a fanfic-mindset of good faith, assuming Chuck was basically just writing fanfic as any human would. Lilith is self-aware, and knows the meta-plot. She knows she’s been placed there as a character in Chuck’s story, and she knows all about the story Chuck is trying to tell… and she HATES it.

She says she was given the choice of three vessels, and chose the one who’d apparently “picked the hardest road” for herself. She could’ve chosen one of the other girls, but this is the story that resonated with Lilith. Did she choose this, or did Chuck create her story out of whole cloth as even more foreshadowing, and with heavy references to the past when he’d done exactly the same thing with her? (rewriting her from a child into a “comely dental hygienist” when that suited the narrative he needed to tell?)

But that brings me back to Ashley/Lilith’s weird choice of clothing. Even back in the opening scenes in the tent, her two friends are dressed normally– t-shirts, like one might wear to sleep while camping. But Ashley… had the tie on. Scarf. Neckerchief. Whatever. She looked weirdly like she was trying to be a girl scout just because they’d been on a camping trip, you know? So, weird neckerchief. Which in this case looks both like Cas’s tie, AND Marie’s outfit in 10.05.

And Chuck told her, “not bad.”

Yeah, school uniforms for Marie and friends, but… Ashley/Lilith apparently chose this for herself, right down to the weird little beret.

Marie’s outfit was trimmed in this mustard color, but Lilith’s is just full-on mustard accessories.

Because Lilith was entirely self-aware through this entire episode that she was nothing more than Chuck’s plot device. She had no free will. She said repeatedly that she would’ve tortured and killed Sam and Dean both if she could, but she couldn’t, because she was entirely limited by what Chuck created her for within this episode. HOW FRUSTRATING, RIGHT?!

I guess, hence the perma-fake-tear visual of that wound on her cheek. Which was emphasized in the episode with her actual tears coursing over the cut.

This… was her chain. She could COMPLAIN about her role, she could complain about the stupidity of Chuck’s entire story. She could even laugh about his obvious asinine plot devices and foreshadowing– including her own incongruous appearance at this point in the story. But she was entirely bound by the construct Chuck created for her, and was unable to act outside of his plot.

Duty. Bound. And it’s tied right around her neck like a choker she can’t take off, in the color of duty to Heaven.

AND SHE WAS A DEMON, NOT AN ANGEL.

That doesn’t exempt her at all from being a pawn in Chuck’s narrative.

She even talked about her original purpose, to die for the original story, to free Lucifer, and her frustration that it was all for nothing. There was no grand purpose fulfilled because of her sacrifice. As far as she;s concerned, everything her entire existence was built around had been a lie. And she’s seen Chuck whole story for what it really is as a result of that. And yet here she is, playing another role for Chuck, in his unending narrative where he hopes maybe this time around things will work out to his liking. But it never will.

She also lampshaded the whole Free Will versus Destiny conundrum which we’ve been saying for years was the central theme of Supernatural since… forever. And pushed Dean to reiterate his stand on it– that he wouldn’t give it up, that he’d take all the bad he’d ever endured all over again, as long as he was making his own choices in his life. I’m not even sure that was what Chuck was going for here, or if Dean’s continued assertion of his own belief in free will was what broke Chuck’s hold over Lilith as a “character” here, and allowed her to begin voicing her critique of Chuck’s story, you know? If Dean had given in to her seduction, would she have ever been able to wrench free enough of Chuck’s written story to voice her own opinions of it? I like to think that Dean’s act of rebellion there changed the script, or allowed her to go “off script” enough to fill him in on some of the realities of Chuck’s interference.

But that remains to be seen. As far as Lilith goes, I think she was a construct for this episode… literally an agent of Chuck entirely created for the purposes of this episode as a test just as she was in 4.18. Was this the “real Lilith” brought from the Empty? Or just Chuck doing his thing and creating a story? How much can a writer really lie within the construct of his own disintegrating story?

#spn s15 spoilers #spn 15.05 #this episode was entirely brilliant on every level #coinofstone

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theplaid-wearingmoose · 5 years

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Jealous? ~Hiccup x Reader smut for anon~

Hi there! Just wondering if you could make a smutty fic based on a post from another Hiccup page? It says imagine Hiccup getting jealous of Snotlout flirting with you. I just think baby boy needs more smut fics and your new Hiccup fics are AMAZING

A/N: Since there’s only so much content in the Hiccup x reader tag, it was pretty easy to find the original post. https://jackfrost-hiccup.tumblr.com/post/183126584092 just in case y’all want an image to go with this. Race to the Edge setting.

Your name: submit What is this?

Astrid had been the first one to notice something going on between you and Hiccup. It was your first day and the two of you were sparring. Hiccup was a few feet away with Toothless, reading and taking notes on Bork’s papers. You ducked and rolled out of the way as Astrid swung her axe near your head. “Okay, what’s going on with you and Hiccup?” She asked, pausing for a quick break. You stood and brushed dirt off your pants. “What are you talking about?” You asked, wondering how the Hel she had figured that out. “C’mon, Y/N. I’m not blind. I’ve seen how you look at each other. And also Hiccup hasn’t taken his eyes off you in the past 10 minutes.” She chuckled, glancing over your shoulder. You turned just in time to make brief eye contact with Hiccup before he quickly shoved his face back into the book. You grinned and turned back to Astrid. She put her hands on her hips and gave you a knowing smile.

“Okay fine. Hiccup and I are seeing each other. Just don’t tell the others.” You said. “Why not? It’s cute.” She shrugged. Your cheeks turned pink and you looked down at the ground. “I just don’t want them to think I’m here because I’m dating Hiccup. I want them to know I actually worked hard to get here.” You admitted. Astrid put her hand on your shoulder. “No one would think that, Y/N. We all know how hard you worked to get here. We’ve all seen how tough a warrior you are.” You smiled at her reassurance, feeling much better.

The rest of the team had slowly caught on. Everyone except Snotlout seemed to pick up on the fact that you and Hiccup were together. When it came to decide where you were sleeping, he’d been the first one to offer his hut. “There’s plenty of room for you at my place, Y/N.” He said, wiggling his eyebrows at you. You felt Hiccup tense up next to you. “Thank you, Snotlout but Hiccup already offered to let me bunk with him.” You said, suddenly enjoying how quickly Hiccup reacted to Snotlout.

The following days were filled with similar moments. Offers to train together, patrol together, snide comments about Hiccup’s leadership skills, just about anything to get under Hiccup’s skin. You shot Snotlout down every time, but you were starting to get a little creeped out by him. The rest of the team found it pretty amusing. Astrid even thanked you for taking Snotlout’s attention away from her. The only one to not find it funny was Hiccup. He’d remained pretty silent throughout the whole situation. But the looks of pure jealousy were all over his face. If looks could kill, Snotlout would’ve died a hundred times over.

Hiccup was assigning teams to patrol the island when Snotlout rushed to your side and wrapped his arm around your shoulder. “I call patrolling with Y/N!” He shouted. You could’ve sworn you saw flames erupt in Hiccup’s eyes as he stared at Snotlout’s arm around you. Hiccup wished Snotlout’s arm would just fall from his shoulder. “Too late, Snotlout. Y/N is patrolling with me.” He said through gritted teeth. Snotlout groaned loudly, rolling his eyes. “You always get to go with her!” He complained. Hiccup’s hands balled into fists and you quickly shrugged Snotlout’s arm off you. “You’ll be fine, Snotlout. You get to patrol with the twins.” You said, grinning widely at his displeasure. You grabbed Hiccup’s arm and led him away.

As the two of you glided through the air on your dragons, you looked out of the corner of your eye at Hiccup. He kept his eyes straight ahead, clearly fuming. “I can feel you looking at me, knock it off.” He growled. You bit your lip to stifle a laugh and focused back on patrolling. After a few minutes of silence, you looked over at him again. The serious expression on his face caused you to burst into laughter. “What in Thor’s name is so funny??” Hiccup snapped. You grinned at him, struggling to stop your laughter. “You’re totally jealous of Snotlout.” You replied, smirking. Hiccup glared. “I am not!” He protested. “Oh please, Hiccup. You definitely are. You almost punched him in the face just now.” You responded. He folded his arms across his chest. “I’m not jealous of Snotlout.” He said, gruffly. Toothless lifted his head up and gave a low grumble, telling Hiccup even he could tell he was jealous. You laughed and gave Hiccup a smug look. Hiccup glared down at Toothless. “Not helping at all, bud.” He muttered.

You finished circling the island and landed back at the Edge, having found nothing out of the ordinary. Snotlout, as usual, came strutting over to you. “So Y/N, how was patrolling with Hiccup? Totally boring I bet. You would’ve had more fun with me I’m sure.” He bragged. You saw Hiccup’s jaw clench tightly. “Actually it was just fine, Snotlout. I enjoy patrolling with Hiccup. Thank you, though.” You said, dismissing his comments. You made your way over to where Fishlegs was preparing dinner, hunger quickly overwhelming you. You grabbed some food and went to sit down, when Snotlout quickly plopped down next to you. “I think we could enjoy dinner together, Y/N.” You looked across the floor to see Astrid and the twins snickering at your situation. You glared at them, Snotlout completely oblivious. You were barely listening to whatever it was Snotlout was talking about as your eyes found Hiccup. He was staring at you and Snotlout, hard. His arms were folded across his chest and his eyes narrowed when Snotlout scooted closer to you. Finally, he couldn’t stand it anymore. He strode over to you, getting there in about 10 steps. “Y/N, I need to speak with you, alone.” Snotlout groaned and rolled his eyes at Hiccup. “Oh c’mon Hiccup. Why do you always have to interrupt?” Hiccup’s eyes snapped to Snotlout, the fire in them returning. “I need to talk to you, now.” His voice was low and commanding and you felt a warmth pooling in the pit of your stomach. You stood from your spot on the floor. “Sure, Hiccup.”

Hiccup grabbed your arm and led you back to his hut. He dropped your arm when you arrived and gestured for you to enter before him. “Okay, what did you need to talk to me about, Hiccup?” He didn’t respond. You let out a squeak of surprise when you were shoved roughly against the wall. Hiccup’s lips were on you in a split second. His hands held you as his body pinned you against the wall. He shoved his tongue into your mouth, making you moan into the kiss. Your hands grasped at his shirt, tugging at the leather. His hands roamed over your body, squeezing and rubbing every part he could reach. He moaned into your mouth as you pulled him closer. His hand came up behind your head. Grabbing a fistful of your hair, he yanked your head to the side, exposing your neck to him. You hummed with pleasure as he nipped and sucked on your skin, definitely leaving marks. “H-Hiccup…what has gotten into you?” You gasped. Hiccup’s lips moved up your neck until he found the sensitive spot near your jaw that made you inhale sharply and arch against him. “You were right, Princess.” Hiccup growled in your ear. You were so focused on the feeling of his mouth and his hands that you nearly forgot what he was talking about. You grinned smugly to yourself as Hiccup lifted one of your legs and wrapped it around his waist. “You were jealous of Snotlout, weren’t you?” You teased. Your teasing tone was quickly cut off with a moan as Hiccup lowered his head again and pressed more rough kisses on your neck. “So jealous…” He groaned back, not caring that you had been right the whole time. Your giggling quickly dissolved into light panting as Hiccup began to undress you.You watched as he dropped to his knees in front of you, leaving kisses down your body as he went.

He sat back on his heel for a minute, admiring the sight of your naked body in front of him. You blushed as his eyes roamed shamelessly over your form. Hiccup leaned forward and hooked one of your legs over his shoulder. You cried as out as he shoved his tongue inside you. Your hands flew to his hair and your head fell back against the wall. Hiccup moaned against you as you tugged on his hair. “F-faster Hiccup…p-please!” You begged, your hips rocking against his face. You glanced down at the viking in front of you. His eyes were the only thing visible as he shoved his tongue deeper inside you. His nose rubbed against your clit as he nodded his head up and down. Your other leg became more and more shaky as you neared your orgasm. “Hiccup…I’m so c-close!” You panted. You instantly regretted saying that because Hiccup quickly pulled away. “What the fuck, Hiccup?!” You yelled, frustrated at being left right on the edge. Hiccup smirked as he wiped his mouth. “You thought it was funny when he got me angry. That was payback. Now, turn around.” He demanded. Still angry at him for stopping, you folded your arms across your chest and didn’t move.

Hiccup raised an eyebrow at you. “Alright, fine.” he shrugged. “I’ll turn you around myself.” He quickly grabbed your arms and yanked you closer to him. He spun you around and pulled you so your back was pressed up against his chest. “You need to learn to listen, Y/N. Especially out here.” He scolded. You jumped as he landed a sharp smack on your ass. One hand came up and closed around your throat while the other quickly began rubbing your clit. You squirmed in Hiccup’s grasp, feeling yourself getting more wet from his fingers. “Gods…you’re dripping.” He murmured in your ear, his voice low. You moaned loudly and let your head fall back against his shoulder. “Just fuck me already!” You gasped. Hiccup smirked and removed his hand. “What’s the magic word, Princess?” “Please!” You begged, exasperated. You just needed to feel him inside you. “Good girl…bend over, now. Or I’ll do it for you.” You considered letting him bend you over, very much enjoying this rough side of Hiccup. However, you figured he’d probably punish you further if you didn’t and you really needed him to hurry up and take you. You placed both hands on the wall in front of you and bent at the waist, spreading your legs and completely exposing yourself to Hiccup. He took a couple steps back to admire the view and you were about to tell him to hurry up when another smack landed on your ass.

“I’m really enjoying that.” He admitted, the grin evident in his voice. “I can tell.” You replied. You yelped as Hiccup smacked your ass again. “No sass.” He demanded. Your snarky response died in your throat as you felt him push two fingers slowly into you. You let out a long moan and your head fell forward. “Ohhh…Hiccup!” You whined. He had been so rough a minute ago but his fingers…gods, his fingers….moving in and out so slowly…

You squirmed as he curled his fingers inside you. “Hold still.” He ordered. You whimpered and forced yourself to stand still. Hiccup worked his fingers in and out of you faster. His other hand pressed on your back to keep you bent over. Your moans grew louder as he sped up. “Hiccup…please just fuck me already!” You pleaded. Your begging seemed to have the desired effect because Hiccup quickly withdrew his fingers and you heard the buckles on his pants as he undid them and let them hit the floor. Hiccup pressed his hard cock against you, rubbing the tip up and down, covering it with your wetness. One of his hands gripped your hip as he pushed inside you. You gasped as Hiccup groaned. He slid inside easily, filling you all the way. He stayed still for a minute, placing both of his hands on your ass. Growing impatient, you began to rock yourself back against him, moaning as you felt him sliding in and out of you. You were surprised when he didn’t order you to hold still. You turned your head back as much as you could and caught a glimpse of Hiccup’s face. His eyes were squeezed shut and his jaw had dropped open in silent pleasure. You grinned and began to move back against him harder. You both cried out as you slammed your ass against his hips, shoving his cock inside yourself. His nails dug into the skin of your waist. His hips snapped forward to meet yours. Soon, he was pounding into you, taking you hard and oh so deliciously.

He grunted and growled as he took his frustrations out on you. He gripped a fistful of your hair and yanked your head back. “Say my name again, Y/N…scream it!’‘ Hiccup growled. You moaned louder as he fucked you faster. “I want you to let the others know, let this whole island know who’s fucking you so good.” Hiccup’s voice only made you wetter and more turned on. He pulled your hair harder, making you gasp. “H-Hiccup!” You moaned, your voice shaking. “You’re gonna have to do better than that, Princess. I need Snotlout to hear you. Let him know you’re mine.” Hiccup grunted. His thrusts grew sloppy as he neared his release. “Say it, Y/N…say it!” He moaned. Your whole body shook with the force of Hiccup’s thrusts. “Yes Hiccup!!! Fuck me!” You screamed his name over and over as your orgasm crashed over you. Your moaning spurred Hiccup on and he continued to ride you through your release, triggering his own. You moaned at the feeling of his warm seed spilling into you.

Hiccup wrapped his arms around you and pulled you to him. You sighed with content as he pressed soft kisses down your back and neck. You hummed his name and he smiled against your skin. You turned to face him and grinned at the tired but relaxed look on his face. “Feel better?” You teased. He rolled his eyes playfully and kissed the tip of your nose. “Much..” He breathed. You threw your arms around his neck and kissed him softly. “You know I love you, right?” You asked, nuzzling your nose against his. He nodded and wrapped his arms tighter around you. “I know, and I love you too. I just hate it when Snotlout flirts with you. He’s always trying to outdo me.” You gave him a comforting smile and kissed him again. “You’re the only viking for me, Hiccup Haddock.” You replied, grinning. Hiccup chuckled and dipped you, kissing you hard. “You wanna go rub it in Snotlout’s face?’‘ You joked. Hiccup laughed loudly. “I think we can let them wait a bit. I’m exhausted.” You laughed and let Hiccup lead you to his bed where the two of you collapsed and quickly fell asleep, leaving dealing with the embarrassment of the other Riders for later.

#hiccup haddock #hiccup x reader smut #hiccup x reader #hiccup httyd #hiccup imagine #httyd imagine #race to the edge

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recurring-polynya · 5 years

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I got an Ask recently about my opinions on Bleach Beat. I was... aware of Bleach Beat, but I had never listened to any of it, so I agreed to give it a whirl.

To make a long story short, it is...fine. The seiyuu for the most part, are singing their hearts out, doing a great job, it’s just not my kind of music. Superficial impressions:

- Oh God, why is Renji rapping? - The Rukia/Ichigo tracks are sappy and boring, sorry fam. - There are Bount Arc tracks and I categorically refuse to listen to them. I also refused to listen to the Kon tracks. - NO CHAD??? WTF??? - No Hisagi, either? The people demand a Hisagi/Kira duet!! Renji can even rap in it, I don’t care. I want my money back!!!! - Weirdly, I think the best singer was actually Grimmjow???

This project was 100% worth it however, for two tracks that absolutely changed my life. You can only embed one YouTube per Tumblr post, so I am giving them their own posts, also they are so, so worth it.

Gomi Tamemitai na Machi de Oretachi wa Deatta Renji and Rukia sing a gonzo rap duet

Sen no Yoru wo Koete Byakuya and Renji sing a love song together I CANNOT EVEN I have listened to this so many times

Below the cut, I’m going to put links to the ones I listened to and what I wrote down at the time. Straight from my brain to yours. I am sure I have borked at least one of these links, I apologize in advance.

Rosa Rubicundior, Lilio Candidior Renji This is terrible

Standing to Defend You Renji again. Don’t quit your day job, Renji.

Hanatarou Desu Hanatarou Oh my God. I am having a seizure.

Quincy no Hokori ni Kakete (My Pride as a Quincy) Ishida Okay Ishida if you say so

Aesthetics and Identity Ichigo and Ishida duet what what??? This is far less homoerotic than I had hoped.

BrEaK Grimmjow This is good, actually?

We Yumichika, Ikkaku, Zaraki and Yachiru Squad 11 is adorable? I guess? I am questioning my life. Someone in the comments says “Zaraki is having too much fun singing this” and they are correct.

Sky Renji and Zabimaru (Chimpette half) This is actually Bleach Breathless and not Bleach Beat, I don’t know the difference, does it even matter? I unironically love this. It has a lot of harmonica and a surf drumline and Renji is singing a duet with the female half of Zabimaru and they sing GOING MY WAY in English. There is a spoken word part at the end (I guess this is Renji’s jam, he sure does it a lot) and ends with a HOWL ZABIMARU. A+++.

OH NO THERE’S MORE THIS ONE IS BASICALLY SKA Wonderful Renji and *both parts* of Zabimaru This sounds like one of the Kenshin themes.

Holy Fight Rukia and Orihime This sounds like a Christmas song, I am sorry. It’s the sleigh bells. That being said, I would be totally down for Rukia and Orihime singing a Christmas song.

Oto no Hana Rukia This has an almost Bollywood vibe. This might be fav of Rukia’s songs.

Listen to One History Byakuya and Rukia Kuchiki sibs go so hard on this one.

MY BLADE AS MY PRIDE Ichigo This is Too Much. It sounds like the theme song to a vampire-focused NES game. Ichigo wat r u doin’?

This Light I See Hitsugaya This is probably the closest to something I would actually voluntarily listen to?It does not sound at all like Hitsugaya, tho.

Momoiro no Hana Momo This is… nice?

Ran Hana ~RANKA~ Matsumoto A legit banger!!

Sekai wa Sude ni Azamuki no Ue ni Gin This sounds one of U2’s more experimental tracks. The Gin stans in the comments went batshit over his “bye bye” but it was Not Worth It, imo.

Kokoro Oasis Nel This is exactly like being trapped on an 8-hour car ride with my children. You can literally feel yourself going insane as you listen to it.

#bleach beat #asks #i am not tagging everyone i am too lazy #polynya reviews things #what the even

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mightylauren · 5 years

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Avengers Endgame SPOILER FILLED Thoughtstream

Pretty much a blow by blow reaction stream straight from my mind in list form of the entire movie from beginning to end. Clearly full of spoilers so it’s below the cut and tagged to death. There’s some all caps screaming. A few keyboard smashes. A fair amount of cussing. Probably a fair amount of typos as I typed this while totally not rewatching it in the comfort of my home.

Totally not.

I don’t really expect anyone to read all of this but it was all festering in my mind and now it’s out.

SERIOUSLY I SPOIL LIKE EVERYTHING BELOW THE CUT DON’T CLICK IT UNLESS YOU’RE SURE YOU WANT TO SEE IT.

Who put’s mayo on a hotdog?

Oh man hawks didn’t even see it happen nooo. I knew we were opening with Barton family dusting but ouch.

Tony calling Nebula the blue meanie!

Nebula refusing the last of the food and making Tony eat it makes me love her even more.

Tony somehow keeps his sense of humor even in the face of death. God I love him. I know he’s gonna make it off this ship.

HA, that Internet joke about Carol showing up right after the trailer scene is true. That’s hilarious.

They never explain how Carol knew to look for them, but I’m going to guess she came to earth ala the scene after Captain Marvel and then went back out to see if she could find him.

Or she got REALLY lucky

I’m unclear does Nebula need oxygen and food? Or just significantly less than a full on human? She seems much better off than him.

Steve shaving did we miss seeing the beard one last time by like seconds? rude.

OMG Rocket sitting down and taking Nebula’s hand. The last of their family. Everyone else gone. My heart is aching.

23 days so we’re less than a month past Vanishing Day

Ha Tony calling Rocket Build a Bear is my first genuine laugh this movie.

I honestly was dying on the inside the whole time Tony is losing his shit on Cap. I mean he needed to say it all but seeing how sick he is and falling apart. He rips off his reactor and hands it over then collapses.

My heart.

Rhodey man. “That’s cute, Thanos has a retirement plan.”

Man this is the least planning they’ve ever done before a mission. They’re just gonna pack up, hop in a space ship and go kill Thanos? Cool. Coolcoolcool.

Okay it’s pretty good to see a lot of that trailer stuff is from very early on in the movie.

“Who here hasn’t been to space? You better not throw up on my ship.” XD

How does this big ass planet that can clearly sustain life have no life on it? Just Thanos some birds and some Meiloorun fruit?

That’s a Star Wars reference for those of you who don’t cross fandom lines.

So his snapping arm looks completely borked.

OH SHIT THEY CAME IN SWINGING

FUCK THOR CHOPPED OFF HIS ARM DAMN

ASDFKSAJDOFIUA THE STONES ARE GONE

Wait why is Banner still not Hulking out? How is that suit still running?

Damn he destroyed the stones. He knew they’d come.

DAMN THOR WENT IN HARD.

We are like twenty minutes in and Thanos is dead? I… what?

*crumples up and throws away all predictions she had before going into the movie

FIVE YEARS LATER?!?

FIVE

FIVE YEARS

I should have brought a paper bag to breath into.

Okay there’s the support group. Yup a lot of the footage from trailers and stuff is front loaded at the beginning of this. Which is good, because no clue where this is genuinely going.

Did… did a rat just bring Ant-Man back? A rat?

Shit how long has it been for him?

Oh wait, he’s looking for his people maybe not that long.

P-professor Chang?

Can you imagine how disorienting this all is for Scott? Pops out five years after a tragedy like the snap with no idea what the hell is happening.

My sister literally turned to me and said “no trash service but they built a monument?”

Valid question. Very valid.

OMG CASSIE IS ALL GROWN UP I CAN’T.

I don’t think he fully realized how much time had passed until he saw his daughter.

“You’re so big” just made me tear up a little.

I just had a baby daughter four months ago. So I’m trying not to imagine what it would be like to vanish along with a bunch of other people and then turn back up five years later.

CAROL’S HAIR.

I’m sorry some of this is probably going to be completely incomprehensible unless you’ve seen the movie it just needs venting.

I am liking that they’re all reporting to Nat. That Rocket and Nebula are clearly teamed up.

OMG rocket made a joke about the haircut and Carol called him Fur Face

In case you didn’t know I have a ridiculous love for Rocket so I’m just glad he’s got a support system right now with almost the entirety of his found family dusted.

Capt. Marvel is basically saying she’s out for most of this movie isn’t she? I guess that makes sense she’s OP as hell.

Rhodey is tracking Clint but reluctantly. Clint’s clearly gone off the deepens a bit. Vigilante. Nat isn’t taking it well. Oh no she’s crying.

This movie is gonna kill me.

I’m trying to imagine seeing a pod of whales in the Hudson River and I can’t imagine it.

Okay so I’m guessing Scott’s about to turn up covering another major point from the early trailers. Yes yes yes. This is good.

Nat explaining that the Avengers gave her a family and a life and made her feel like she was a better person. Oh girl. You’ve done enough. It’s okay.

HA THE LOOKS ON THEIR FACES ARE PRICELESS

Scott doesn’t know science. He’s trying so hard. We need the Science Bros. Where are they?

FIVE HOURS

FIVE FUCKING HOURS?

HE WAS IN FOR FIVE HOURS AND LOST FIVE YEARS????

“Scott, I get e-mails from a raccoon so nothing seems crazy anymore.” LFAO

Tony has a daughter I’m dying. It had to be a little girl.

Wait is he serious about eating crickets on lettuce? He might be this is semi post-apocalyptic.

Tony does not look happy to see them.

YES LET’S PULL A TIME HEIST. Tony isn’t feeling this but I am.

Oh, Scott, honey. Back to the Future?

Though Tony your protege Peter used movies to make plans all the time. Maybe it’s not that laughable.

Okay I would die for his daughter. “Mommy sent me out here to save you.” Don’t think you were supposed to just say that outloud kiddo but props on a successful mission.

I know Tony too well for this. He’s saying no, because he loves his family. He needs his family. He’s scared to lose his family.

But now this idea is going to itch at the back of his brain aching to be solved.

Come on Tony lets go back to the future and pull off a time heist.

Hulk in glasses and a sweater is was not even on my theory bingo card what is happening. Is this his diner? They had to find him so he’s clearly not working for Nat right now. I have so many questions.

This whole thing with the kids is awkward.

Come to think of it I have questions about how the infrastructure that is supporting things like cell phone networks is still functioning after the vanishing. Maybe because it’s been five years.

Is Nat flirting with Banner to get him to help?

Tony looking at a picture of Peter he’s got to try.

OH MY GOD HE GOT IT IN ONE EVENING.

EVEN HE LOOKS SURPRISED.

SHIT!

I’m glad there is laughter in this movie and it’s not entirely heavy. I mean it’s Marvel I should have known.

He calls his daughter Little Miss. And she just extorted a juice pop out of him. I love Dad Tony.

This is gonna hurt later I just know it. I can feel it in my gut.

“I love you 3000” My heart.

I’m glad that Tony is just going to have a straight up honest conversation with his wife about this.

He’s grown so much.

Oh Pepper, she’s telling him to do it. There’s some unsaid deep communication happening in this conversation. Bless this pair so much. She’s going to let him go and he’s going to go even though his gut his telling him that the road is not going to end well for him.

That’s why he wants to put it in a lock box and drop it to the bottom of a lake.

This is just so damn good so far. No complaints yet.

I kind of love this Hulk. He has no idea what he’s doing here but I love him. He’s like only half taking this seriously.

BAHAHAHA THIS TEST. HE comes back as a baby and Hulk is like “He’ll grow” I mean he’s not wrong but not the right answer buddy.

Another genuinely funny scene.

“TIME TRAVEL!” With his hulk arms held wide.

Tony is literally speeding in his car there. Cap doesn’t even look that surprised.

Oh this is the Tony and Steve getting back on the same page moment I’ve been waiting for. I love it. I really love it.

HE BROUGHT THE SHIELD.

I love that it was in the trunk buried under kids stuff.

Tony is back and I love it even if I’m scared it’s gonna mean his end.

“Rhodey, careful on reentry theres an idiot in the landing zone.” As if I couldn’t love Nebula more in this movie.

Wait “New Asgard Please Drive Slowly” just threw me for a total loop. Good to know all the Asgardians didn’t actually die in that ship.

VALKYRIE!!!!

She’s like not acknowledging the Raccoon LMFAO

Holy hell what is happening here. Oh man Thor what have you done to yourself.

Actually, I get it.

Are they playing Fortnite?

This whole scene is super surreal right now.

I actually kinda dig it but I did NOT see it coming. This movie has gone places I never would have predicted.

Thor kept strong for so long. He lost so much. He got all the way to the point where he’d done all he could think. He killed Thanos and there was no way to undo all that could be done so he just settled and existed. He drank and played video games with his buddies.

I get it.

Rocket just lured him onto the ship with beer.

Was good to see Korg and Miek are alive. And there for them in their own ways.

RONIN ALERT.

Oh dude he’s just fucking people up does he even have a bow with him?

Nat waited until there was some way to undo the snap before reaching out to him. She’s just been silently tracking him waiting for a good reason to bring him in.

In a matter of seconds Tony calls Thor “Lebowski” and Rocket “Ratchet” and I have always lived for his dumbass nicknames.

Lebowski Thor is officially what I’m referring to this iteration of Thor.

Oh look a classic time travel trope a limit in the number of trips they can make. Makes sense though, Hank Pym was always very protective of how to make the particles so they only have what was made before the Vanishing.

I love the team debating how time travel really works. Listing all the time travel movies. Bill and Ted even snuck into the list.

Not sure sending Clint back for the test was the best choice this is gonna be rough.

Okay he started to lose it at the end but he made it.

YES brainstorming session this’ll be fun.

Tony’s gentle handling of Thor says a lot. Tony’s been to rock bottom and recognizes the symptoms. At the same time I laughed when he offered breakfast and Thor said no he wanted a Bloody Mary.

ROCKET CALLING SCOTT AN EXCITED PUPPY BAHAHAHA

Nebula is so dramatic I’m here for it.

Laying all over the desk brainstorming for Nat to finally figure out that there are three stones in one place at one time. This is the content I came for.

TIME HEIST LETS GO.

And just like that its 2012 this is surreal.

LMFAO HULK DOESN’T WANT TO SMASH.

Interesting seeing what the Ancient One was doing during the battle of New York. On a roof defending the sanctum from Chitauri.

OH SHIT SHE JUST PUSHED BANNER’S SOUL OUTA HIS HULK BODY

I didn’t see that coming.

Just a glimpse of Loki. :-(

It was almost cruel to send Thor to Asgard to do this. I mean someone had to go with Rocket, but damn this is tough to watch.

DAMN Rocket smacked him. And also just called Mantis “the chick with the antenna”. Pep talk’s not bad but Thor is crying I don’t think he can do this.

I don’t know why they want to do it that way anyway, Jane would have taken one look at him and known it was the wrong Thor.

Wait… they’re sending Nat and Clint to Vormir… oh God… oh no…

Okay so that’s going to suck in a few minutes lets just put a pin in that.

Nebula you waited a bit to tell Rhodey that there’s another you out there looking for the same infinity stone you’re there to fetch.

Oh look its like just barely pre-Guardians Gamora, Nebula, and unfortunately Thanos.

I have a bad feeling about this.

OH SHIT I HAVE A VERY BAD FEELING ABOUT THIS.

Turns out two Nebula’s in one place is bad voodoo. She’s seeing video from the other Nebula which means THANOS can see video from the other….

Yeah this is all gonna go bad.

HAHAHA Tony just checked out Steve’s ass.

AMERICA’S ASS!!!

It’s hard to remember that this shit is going to fall apart when I’m laughing.

Tony just flicked Ant-Man to his target and all I can think about is Gimli an “toss me” from LOTR.

Is Cap about to fuck up a bunch of people in the elevator again?

STEVE YOU SNEAKY BASTARD YOU JUST HAIL HYDRA’D AND STOLE THE SCEPTER.

2012 Time heist is about to hit a hiccup isn’t it. OH MAN they just gave Tony a heart attack.

LOKI NO

I mean yes but no. Loki just nicked the Tesseract and dipped with it. 2012 Loki is just gone.

There’s like timeline repercussions there. Not entirely sure what they are but there will be repercussions.

Cap fighting himself! CAP CHECKING OUT HIS OWN ASS!

Man the Time Heist is so rapid fire there’s too much to absorb.

“I’m totally from the future.” - Lebowski Thor breaking a law of time travel

Thor’s heart to heart with his mom is giving me feels. He needed this.

YES MJOLNIR IS COMING WITH HIM!

Ok it’s never occurred to me how ridiculous Quill would look dancing around without the music. That’s hilarious.

AH SHIT THANOS KNOWS AND HE’S THERE AND THIS IS WHERE IT GOES TO SHIT.

NEBULA </3

It’s so good seeing Steve and Tony back on the same page trusting each other. And clearly completely throwing Scott “Piss-Ant” Lang for a loop.

I didn’t expect a detour to the 70’s. AAAND that’s his Dad. Tony’s just run into his own father.

This movie is a roller coaster I’ll tell ya.

This is all mush if you’ve read this far you deserve an award. Or a sticker. One of those.

What a weird decision to have Tony have this whole meet up with his father here. And now Steve is taking refuge in Peggy’s office. Like this is almost mean to do this to these two.

Why is it the Russo’s never could decide if Steve had gotten over Peggy or not gotten over Peggy. Back and forth and back again. I take it we aren’t going to see the niece at all in this one?

Alright boys lets get the hell out of the 70s this felt like a weird trip without the drugs.

Damn Nebula why is past you such a bitch when I love present you so much. I know I know that’s because you grew and what not but shit I don’t know what you and Thanos are about to do but it’s about to suck.

FUCK I FORGOT ABOUT VORMIR BECAUSE THERE WAS SO MUCH GOING ON

I’m not ready for this. I’m not ready for this. I don’t want either of them to die. This sucks. No No no no onoanfnaondaksldfj;lasdkja;

God we’re going to have to literally watch them fight over which one is going to sacrifice themself.

Here it is, I’m crying now. Me and Barton are just going to cry here in this puddle if you need us.

They’re all back, except Nat. Which means that’s the wrong damn Nebula and no one notices because NO NAT. Shit. Shit shit.

This movie is going to give me a heart attack.

“Did she have any family?” “Yeah. Us.” :’-(

Okay Thanos like fucked up a whole mining community and shut down a star afterwards to forge a gauntlet to put the stones in and here’s Tony Stark plopping them into like an Iron Man armor piece like its nothing.

Looks sleek too. I dig it.

And they’re all too busy with the glove to notice fucking Nebula. SHIT.

Man it’s hurting Hulk just to WEAR the damn thing. Thanos was just strolling around wearing it, which doesn’t bode well considering I see Nebula is bringing Thanos here.

Cool. That’s cool. This is fine.

How long of a moment of joy are they going to get. Clint’s wife is calling. Birds are singing. Shit is inches from a fan.

THERE’S THE SHIT. HOLY SHIT HE’S BLOWING AVENGERS HQ COMPLETELY OFF THE MAP NOOOOOOO

There’s like a whole hour left. Tell me they all survived that. I was not ready. I WAS NOT READY.

Oh here’s that shot of Hawkeye in the tunnel. Much later in the movie than a lot of those trailer shots. Fascinating.

So 2014 Thanos is here with his whole crew and there’s a complete gauntlet here. Shit.

Well, they’re all alive. They’re not together entirely but they’re all alive.

Double wielding dad bod Thor just braided his beard with lightning and I’m here for it.

The stakes are at maximum. Now Thanos wants to destroy it all not just half. So failure here can never be undone there won’t be anyone to Avenge anything if he gets the gauntlet this time. That’s not terrifying at all.

Fuck that’s the wrong Nebula. BUT THERE’S THE RIGHT NEBULA WITH GAMORA.

Clint is like in the middle of this stand off like “wtf is happening I should have kept my hands on the glove”

Nebula just killed her own past self. And she didn’t vanish so no Back to the Future rules here for sure.

Damn Thanos is giving the boys a run for their money even without a single stone.

Shit is Thor gonna die?

HOLY SHIT CAP HAS THE HAMMER AND THE THEATER JUST MIGHT EXPLODE FROM THE SOUNDS OF THE AUDIENCE SCREAMING ABOUT THIS.

Damnit Thanos is calling in the whole army. Cap is like the last one standing on the front line and he’s not backing down because he’s Captain “America’s Ass” America. Thor is down Iron Man is down. The others are trying not to drown. Shit.

OMG ON YOUR LEFT I JUST MIGHT CRY.

HOLY SHIT ITS EVERYONE I’M CRYING.

PEPPER FUCKING POTTS IS HERE AS RESCUE HOLY SHIT.

TALK ABOUT THE CALVARY RIDING IN AT THE LAST POSSIBLE SECOND HOLY HELL.

HE’S GONNA FUCKING SAY IT

AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!

It’s a good thing they sound proof these theaters now or you’d hear this across town the audience is going fucking nuts.

There’s too much to touch on all this chaos I’ll hit the highlights because it’s so much.

Pepper and Tony fighting back to back.

Thor and Steve switching weapons, Thor telling him to keep “the little one” aka Mjolnir.

Tony and Peter reuniting and the hug.

Quill seeing Gamora and it’s the wrong Gamora and actually that broke my heart a little bit because his Gamora is gone forever.

Playing hot potato with the gauntlet.

Scarlet Witch fucking Thanos up to the point he panics and starts firing on his own troops to get her off of him.

Spider getting the gauntlet and for the first time ever activating instant kill on purpose.

Peter becoming the hot potato along with the Gauntlet.

OMG ROCKET FOUND GROOT AND HE’S BODILY BLOCKING HIM FROM FIRE MY HEART.

When the ships started firing up my sister elbowed me and legit was like “She’s here.”

All the women assembling around Captain Marvel!! Even Gamora is with them holy shit!

Damn it the glove is back within his reach and I can’t with this.

GET HIM CAROL DON’T LET HIM DO IT AGAIN.

She took a headbutt to the face like it was nothing and he panicked like a bitch pulled the power stone and punched her with it.

OH MY GOD TONY

My sister silently handed me a tissue and I fell the fuck apart.

I never thought in a million years they would have it go this way. Tony snapping. Dusting Thanos and his army.

I can’t even comment more on this scene I’m too sad. Everything after is too sad. The funeral.

There are infinity stone colored stones in the “proof that Tony Stark has a heart” setting.

I love you 3000 Tony Stark.

Thor leaving Valkyrie in charge and heading off with the Guardians.

Quill clearly looking for new old Gamora. I doubt she was dusted so she must have just faded away after the battle to do her own thing.

Glad that Nebula is with them though.

I feel a loose beginning set up for the actual Asgardians of the Galaxy.

Bucky said goodbye to Cap like he knew Cap wasn’t going to be back with them in five seconds. He knew.

We’re lucky he didn’t come back as a baby though. ;-)

I mean I’m surprised they went this route with Cap but I’m happy for him.

I’m happy for Sam too. We knew at the end of this the mantel had to get passed and here it is, old man Steve passing the shield to Sam.

I bet that show about “Falcon” and Bucky is really about the new Captain America and Bucky. Just saying.

Steggy shippers rejoice and the cries of a million Stony and Stucky shippers can be heard round the world.

Is that a sentence I just wrote? I never got into MCU shipping stuff personally.

And then all there is at the end is the distant sound of Tony forging that first armor.

A reminder that Tony Stark built all this in a cave.

From a box of scraps.

TONY….

I’ll be mourning Tony for a long while. I was always team Tony.

They did him right tough. His arc was satisfying and RDJ performed beautifully in this one.

My heart aches. They had to give him a daughter. I’m watching my daughter sleep totally not thinking what it would be like for her to lose her father.

I’m gonna go hug my partner when I’m done with this.

Over all I am happy with Endgame. I mean with time travel they obviously left loose ends all over.

They say they can’t change time and the whole present becoming your past when you go back while the past is your future blah blah blah

But like clearly things are changed. 2012 Loki got the tesseract and escaped

2014 Thanos is no longer in 2014. So the Guardians movies happened but also couldn’t have happened? I dunno it’s confusing.

So basically the MCU has finally caught up with it’s comic book roots of being a confusing jumble timelines. How poetic.

Anyway if you read this you are amazing and feel free to private message me if you want to scream about Avengers Endgame and have no one else to do it with.

I feel better having vented this all out.

#spoilers #endgame spoilers #avengers endgame spoilers #mcu spoilers #mcu #marvel #avengers #avengers endgame #endgame #marvel cinematic universe #it took me all day to rewatch a 3 hour movie because I have a 4 month old child

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chiaroscuroverse · 6 years

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Spoilers Ahoy

I don’t even know if this will be that coherent, but overall, I am so full of joy and love for Big Finish and how they continue to make dreams come true!!!

So anyone who is worried and wanted to wait before listening, go right ahead! The details might vary, their Pete’s World has elements that might not conform the the billion-thousand fics we’ve read, but it gets to the very heart of us (putting a cut here, sorry if mobile borks it):

1. TENTOO IS THE DOCTOR

2. TENTOO LOVES ROSE, OPEN AND COMPLETELY, THEY ARE TOGETHER

Just to think that both Tentoo and Jackie thought it was reasonable that Rose and Pete might conspire to create a mystery and then send Jackie and the Doctor off to handle it together for bonding purposes, just think about how telling that is about EVERYONE’S relationships! I have always loved Jackie written as instantly accepting and motherly, but given the situation this writer was handed (a Camille/Jackie story - make it compelling), it makes total sense to lean into the angst of Jackie’s acceptance. But she got there!

Once again, I am amazed by the little details that let all of us feel exactly how the Doctor must be feeling in this situation. Frustrated by Jackie, but ultimately so full of love for her. I was clinging to every little description of the Doctor’s behavior, and when she said something like “he crossed his legs!” I laughed out loud, because it’s just all soo Doctor. And then the angst and love started flowing and I started crying and basically haven’t stopped.

I was NOT someone who ever wanted canon Pete’s World content. I was very happy to leave it in the realm of fic, but this series has won me over. Now I am craving David and Billie to get back in there and do some Tentoo and Rose adventures, throw in the entire Tyler family for funny domestics!

And here’s the thing I keep thinking about - full of amazement...IT IS TWO THOUSAND EIGHTEEN, people!! Our ship has been off the air for ten years! And here we are getting new content!

With likely more to come depending on fan reaction (and oh, I will be reacting). Please give Big Finish all the love and support and PAID DOWNLOADS (it’s so cheap!!).

sidenote: This is happening the same week that Chris Eccleston did his first DW con appearance. It is no longer a crazy pipe dream that he might do Big Finish with Billie!!!! Let’s give them all the sales we can!!

see also: @kelkat9 ‘s recap for more details and all the quote posts that @meanwhileinpetesworld and @tinyconfusion are doing

eta: one quibble I meant to mention is much more so than the first one, it got confusing as to who was saying what when. Because Camille was doing voices for three characters while telling a story and sometimes flashing back?? yeah, I had to rewind some stuff. So it will definitely benefit from a full re-listen.

Part 1 review

buy story one here / story two here

#big finish #flight into hull #camille coduri #jackie tyler #tentoo x rose #tentoo #big finish gives me more joy than i can express #that's all i've got #ask me anything if you're worried #i cry #big finish spoilers #also this tentoo has headaches and i want to be like #called it!#:P #it would be fun to spot things that happen and match them to tentoo fics haha #csv reviews #csv meta #?

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aroworlds · 6 years

Link

Here is the new Aro-Spec Artist Profiles master page. I’m slowly working on putting up WordPress versions of the older profiles, and while the links are already clickable, those posts are scheduled to go up on the WordPress blog every weekday at 11 AM AEST (+10 GMT). That’s why the master page has links for posts that aren’t showing on the main blog.

(Right now, half of you have got WordPress posts, with another six for me to format and schedule.)

If you have a WordPress.com blog yourself, which is a common format for author blogs, you can reblog these posts, too! The reblog button is beside the like button at the viewer’s left side on the post footer, directly above the row of sharing buttons (Tumblr included).

You might like to know that if you’ve submitted a profile without accompanying images, I’ve taken a screencap of your Tumblr blog to use as the featured image on the WordPress-hosted profile. A featured image means that if you create a link in a new Tumblr post (like this one), you’ll get an image above the link (just as shown here) so I thought it important to add. If you have given me images, I’ve used one of those (not the one above the read more cut, in order to show off more of your work) as the featured image, but if you’d like a Tumblr screencap instead, let me know.

I’ve noticed in going back over these posts that Tumblr has borked a few of my links and @ mentions, so I’m fixing those where necessary. I’m actually going to be composing these posts first in WordPress and copying over to Tumblr from here on in, just because it is so much easier to see errors in links on WordPress. In the case of videos, I’ll also be embedding those properly on the WordPress profile, too, as opposed to just linking to them.

Image description under read more cut:

[image description: handdrawn watercolour-style image of a sparse forest of redwood trees growing among grassy hills, with a white and orange fox sitting in the grass at the base of a tree on the viewer's right-hand side of the image. Scene is overlaid with the dark green/light green/white/grey/black stripes of the aro pride flag. The text Aro Worlds Aro-Spec Artist Profiles sits across the image in a black, antique handdrawn type, separated by two ornate Victorian-style black dividers.]

#aro spec artist profiles #support our aro spec creatives if you can #mod chatter #link #wordpress #long post #mod k.a.

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foundcarcosa · 6 years

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cccxxvi.

Do you listen to Wiz Khalifa?: >> I’ve never heard a Wiz Khalifa song in my life. What are your opinions on marijuana legalization?: >> Do it. How about abortion?: >> Keep it legal. Do you wear skirts or dresses more often?: >> I wear neither particularly often, because I get so used to wearing pants that I get stuck in a fashion rut and feel ungainly and out of my body when I step out of the rut. The last time I felt really okay in a dress was in New Orleans. Do you date outside your own race?: >> I date outside of reality, so in comparison race is small potatoes.

What are some of your turn-offs?: >> Dramatically poor hygiene, a lack of imagination, a lack of enthusiasm. Are you gay, straight, bi, or trans?: >> No. Have you ever jumped off a cliff?: >> No. Are you vegetarian? If not, would you ever consider becoming one?: >> No. I was raised vegan, so I have the experience. I eat very little meat, but I don’t cut it out of my diet entirely. I’m just selective about where I get it from (and I have red meat like twice a year at best). Are you in love?: >> Always. In your opinion, who wants sex more, women or men?: >> LOL Do you play any sports?: >> L O L What’s your favorite planet?: >> Well, Mercury, of course. But visually, I’m going to go with Jupiter. Are you more of a pessimist or an optimist?: >> Yes. How much money is in your wallet?: >> None, I rarely carry cash. Do you know anyone in the marines?: >> No. What’s your favorite sex position?: >> Missionary by far, but I like some other things like... whatever it’s called when you sit astraddle the other person. Regardless, being that frottage is my favourite way of getting off, I’ll take any position that accommodates that. What do you ultimately wish for in life?: >> I don’t have a specific thing, idk. Got any family traditions?: >> Being terrible to children. *wheezing laughter with deadpan expression* Have you ever been pregnant?: >> Briefly. What do you think about tipping at restaurants?: >> I prefer to do it. What’s something about you that people admire?: >> Well, let’s ask the audience... Are you single?: >> I have never been single a day in my life. #pluralityjokes When will you next see your best friend?: >> I “see” Can Calah all the time. I can see him right now. Do you work out?: >> No. I try but I can never keep up with it. Like, I’ve never been so bored or hateful of anything in my life as I am of orchestrated exercise. Do you know anyone who’s been murdered?: >> No. Euthanasia - agree, disagree?: >> Legalise it. Do you laugh when you see kids on leashes?: >> I do laugh. They look kinda goofy like that. What’s your favorite TV show?: >> As if I only have one. Are you addicted to anything?: >> I don’t think so. Do you have your driver’s license?: >> No. Have you ever passed out from drinking?: >> No, just fell asleep real hard. What’s your favorite scent?: >> Hm. What kind of makeup do you wear?: >> The invisible kind. Can you whistle?: >> Nope. I think I’ve got the mechanics sort of down, finally, but I can’t get the sound going. Dogs or cats?: >> Dogs. How many close guy friends do you have?: >> Hunh. What are your views on organized religion? What are you?: >> I try not to have any views on organised religion. I mostly just have feelings (a lot of them not good, but also some good ones, because I am still fascinated by religion no matter how bad it’s been to me). I don’t subscribe to any of them, though. Describe your hairstyle.: >> There is no style. Do you have any piercings/tattoos? What?: >> I have my septum and earlobes pierced; a tattoo of 19 in Roman numerals, a Mannaz rune on my hand, and “scully, it’s me” on my inner arm. Sexually, would you say you’re more dominant or submissive?: >> I’m versatile but largely submissive. I like to be transported and I can’t be transported if I’m dominating the situation. What’s your favorite carnival food?: >> I don’t know. Who did you last kiss?: >> Can Calah. What do you think about Obama?: >> He was fun and charismatic and I liked watching him do things. Have you seen the final Harry Potter movie?: >> Yep. Have you or anyone close to you ever been arrested? For what?: >> I’ve known people who were arrested, yeah. Do you believe in karma?: >> No. I mean, maybe. But not really. If it exists, that’s cool. What was the last book you read?: >> I don’t remember the last book I finished, but the last book I read from was Dune. Opinions on Casey Anthony?: >> This survey just dated itself. Ever been called a slut?: >> Sure. Are you more of an extrovert or an introvert?: >> No. Do you have low self-esteem?: >> No. What state do you live in?: >> A state of dubious existence. Name a song that puts you in a good mood: >> The Greatest Show, from the Greatest Showman soundtrack. Do you know anyone with a physical deformity?: >> Probably. Have you ever been searched by the police?: >> Yes. Would you ever have sex with someone not of your preferred sex?: >> Yeah. What’s your bra size?: >> Man, I don’t remember. I wear sports bras exclusively. Have you ever dated someone more than 5 years older than you?: >> Yep. Do you want children in the future?: >> The possibility of this is so far into the future that there’s no real point in me thinking about whether I want them or not. By the time it’s a possibility, I’ll be a completely different person anyway. What’s your favorite fast food chain?: >> I don’t really have one. I just eat wherever. They all seem to have the same shit anyway. Who was your last text message from and what did it say?: >> Sparrow, but I don’t remember what it said and I don’t feel like checking. Do you keep a journal/diary?: >> I have a dreamwidth but I keep forgetting I have a dreamwidth. Where do you work?: >> I don’t. Would you ever get back together with any of your exes?:

When will you go to the beach next?: >> I don’t know. The only “beach” around here is a lake one and... well, I hope it’s more than I expect because that doesn’t sound all that epic. Have you ever seen a dead dolphin on the beach? I have. :(: >> No. Do you take any meds on a daily basis?: >> No. What’s your favorite flower?: >> Sunflower. What did you do today?: >> Well, I rolled around with Can Calah for a little while, and then I posted to Instagram, and then I poked around on the internet for a while, and then I took a shower, and then I watched The Greatest Showman, and then I went to return that to Redbox and came back, and then I thought I was gonna have a simple download of the new ESO expansion and then start playing it but the whole shit is just borked, a fucking disaster, I’m trying to download it again and hoping that it doesn’t shit the bed again but that all made me very upset, and now I’m here. What will you do tomorrow?: >> I don’t know. HOPEFULLY PLAY ESO SUMMERSET. GOD.

#surveysofsamedi #surveys

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herecomesnaya · 4 years

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the bi-yearly life update

in a word: bad

in many words:

I really wanted 2020 to be a fresh start, but the cold, uncaring universe does not care for mortal things such as “calendar years” and “fragile human emotions”

just this month, my sister got raped, my mother’s childhood best friend/my godfather who was living with my family died suddenly, the homeless man my mom was letting live with them got arrested by a whole riot squad of cops that showed up at our house and scared the shit out of my sick grandmother, who may or may not have syphilis, but whatever it is it’s giving her memory loss to the point where she needs 24/7 care, which we can’t afford, so it’s just my mom, my sister, my sister’s bf (who is addicted to heroin and steals money to fund it) and arrested homeless guy (who got out the next day and mom immediately let him back in the house) taking care of her, plus me when I visit on the weekends. tonight, my same sister (who has, by the way, had 3 seizures in the past month, despite taking her meds) cut herself so deeply that she needs stitches, but refuses to go to the hospital because she doesn’t want to be involuntarily committed (and thus leave the household with one less person to help out with grandma). it is my mom’s birthday

and to add to all of that, I’m still constantly sick with a genetic condition that causes me constant physical pain, with a cocktail of mental illnesses that are getting increasingly difficult and expensive to treat, but I have to treat everything because if I stop going to doctors I won’t be able to get SSI (in another year and a half, maybe, if they approve me), despite not having any money to spend on copays, because my state’s medicaid website was so badly borked that it wouldn’t let me complete my application during open enrollment (and I hope it doesn’t do that next cycle, because I’m turning 25 in 2 months and I won’t be able to stay on mom’s insurance soon enough!)

so I can’t work as much, which means I’m not earning money, and absolutely all of my expenses go to rent and utilities. so this ALSO means that, since I haven’t been able to put any money aside, I don’t have money to pay my taxes! hope I can sort that out before the deadline.

every passing day is almost comically misfortunate, to the point where I hardly ever make posts like this because it sounds so absolutely batshit unbelievable that I’d be doubting myself if I wasn’t living this life. that’s not even scraping the surface of all the deaths and debts and interpersonal drama that’s gone on in the past few months. this is just January!!

so yeah. that’s what’s been going on with ur good pal Naya

on a totally unrelated note, if anyone wants to pay me money for absolutely anything, please do get in touch! I can’t work as fast as other people, but I try my best, and literally anything helps. this isn’t a begging post and I don’t expect y’all to fund me or do anything about my own problems when I know everyone has it rough these days, but even if it’s just a commission or something, I’d be incredibly happy for anything.

thanks, and hopefully all ur 2020/year of the rats are going much better than this!

#personal #tw rape mention #tw self harm mention #tw death mention #tw illness mention #there's just a lot going on

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ezra-blue · 7 years

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Week 23

Under the cut, as always.

Last Week: 143 This Week: 140

I guess my body caught up with itself? Ahaha, I thought I was done with the big drops, but considering I was on the tail end of my cycle last week and likely still holding some water weight, I shouldn’t be surprised! That, or I shook loose a pizza binge from high school...

We did host Dexter again, so I’m sure that helped! We walked him a few times a day, sometimes together, sometimes individually, but I was taking him out at least twice a day, and same for the Mr. He really boosted the cardio! (Of course, the best way to get my husband to walk is to either take him by the hand himself and drag him or to put a dog on the other end of him.) Now he’s gone again, which is nice because we don’t have a 5:45 a.m. “alarm bork” sans snooze button waking us up on days when we don’t have to be up at 5:45, but I did enjoy walking him. It gave me a good excuse to keep moving. I’ll have to keep making my own reasons until we can get a dog of our own.

Of course, it’s still hot as hell, so going out walking is a bitch anyway! Combine that with my, er, near-miss last time I went for a long walk on my break at work (long story short -- a homeless lady tried to hit me for no clearly discernible reason) and I’ll have to start working out other ways to get and keep moving. I’m active 7 days a week, and do my best to get at least 30 minutes of physical activity in one way or another, but when it involves going outside, that’s hard.

Although, I’ve been having a certain problem inside. I get cold easily. Like, even an adequately air-conditioned space, nothing special, I get the shivers! Even worse is the refrigerated or frozen section at the grocery store! I know fat is insulating and I have a lot less of that than I did four months ago, but I don’t want to be cold! These are normal temperatures!! Maybe it’s just the change, but why am I considering taking a sweatshirt on a 70-degree morning?! The 80-degree afternoons are almost welcome, especially when I’m wearing shorts.

I’ve been having fun with riced cauliflower, and I made it twice this week. I did chicken fried cauliflower rice on Wednesday, and last night I made Indian cauliflower fried rice (spicy!!). I love how it picks up flavors and carries a meal, and I mean a big meal! I can have a whole plate of cauliflower rice and cut the carbs, and it’s so tasty! The downside is, it does take some oil in the pan, but honestly, a little oil isn’t the worst thing as long as I’m sensible about fat intake for the rest of the day. Plus, as I think I mentioned in one of my “Eat a Vegetable” posts, you need a little oil with vegetables to help carry fat-soluble vitamins. Have I mentioned that? I should start working on a post about that Thai chicken with vegetables I did last week, but I still have to worry about attracting the wrong kind of attention...

Oh, speaking of food and dieting? I’ve become an accidental proselytizer. Twice in the past two days, I ended up telling people “Weight Watchers worked for me, you should try it!” Now, the first time was my bigger friend mentioning she wanted to lose weight so she wouldn’t have to buy two tickets for an airline trip, and the second, someone explicitly asked me what I did. And I got all eager and showed them the app and told them, “You can eat whatever you want, you just have to control your portions! Look how cool this is!” oh my god WW should pay me for this, especially because both times, I forgot the important part! The reason I have succeeded is because I fucking committed. I threw myself wholeheartedly into it, I don’t cheat on foods, and I work out hard. Hell, this morning I “pre-cleaned” the knife I used to put peanut butter on my husband’s bagel and logged a point for that because peanut butter’s high in fat, and as soon as I’m done typing this post I’m going for a walk because I’m off today but have plans and want to make sure I get my walk in! WW is a guide. I’m the one who did the work. I worked for me, Weight Watchers just helped! So, I’m going to have to be more careful. I don’t want to be responsible for setting up unrealistic expectations for people.

Today, my friend has invited us out for her birthday, and it’s the meat buffet, Fogo de Chao. I think I’m just going to stick to the salad bar and maybe order one meat? Plus, I have planned a light dinner and just had yogurt and fruit for breakfast (plus however much peanut butter is on a knife after I butter a bagel yes I know that’s pedantic I’m trying to be good). Going out is hard anyway, and I’d like to think I can safely justify not pending $37.00 on a bunch of food I don’t want to eat, because if I did spend that money, I’d feel guilty not eating my money’s worth... okay that’s an unhealthy perspective, where did I get that? But I’m going to be good today and tomorrow, and the rest of the week should be normal, and hopefully, I can keep progressing steadily! I need to be at maximum cute when I meet some of you guys in August, though I’m not sure any of you who read this are going...

I’m going to do my best. I’ve committed to the sizes on my Otakon cosplay, so I can’t go back now!!

#blue goes on a diet #personal #blue-chan confessional night

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