#and i simply think this is important to acknowledge

[eomayas]

his friends and his dad hate me • chs

pairing: non-idol!vernon x fuckgirl!reader, fwb

genre: smut 18+ MINORS DNI!!! angst

synopsis: you broke his little heart, he’s a cry baby. OR, reader excels in the male dominated field of being a female fuckboy! (based off ‘crybaby’ by megan thee stallion)

warnings: p in v, oral (m receiving), fingering, riding, vernon gets his heart broke, reader is not a good person

a/n: i’ve had this in my drafts for awhile and needed to finish it 😭 i love when readers are morally gray or just wrong & bad! pls remember this is just fiction ok thx!

despite the protests from his friends and the little (though extremely loud) voice in the back of his head telling him this is a horrible idea, vernon grabs his car keys and tries to slip out of his apartment. “dude, we didn’t even get to finish the game! get back here!” wonwoo shouts, frustration clear in his voice. it’s bible in their friend group to finish any smash tournament that’s started, and he’s breaking the one and only most important rule.

“later!” vernon says, hand on the door knob. he’s sort of stalling, sort of wants to be told that he has to stay behind. the thing is, he’s pathetic, especially when it comes to you. he’d cross all seven seas to get to you, if you asked.

“she doesn’t even like you!” soonyoung shouts. vernon sighs and rolls his eyes, walking down to the hallway and stopping at the entrance of the living room. five of his friends look at him with mild disappointment and he puts his hands up in surrender.

“first of all, she invited me over so you’re wrong—and secondly, you’d all do the same if you had prospects but you don’t,” vernon says, letting out a breath. it felt good for him to fight back like that, though soonyoungs comment does leave him feeling sort of doubtful. very doubtful, actually, because he knows there’s some truth in his statement whether he wants to acknowledge it or not.

minghao and joshua share a look and vernon sighs. “fuck you guys,” he says.

“yeah, whatever. but don’t come back here crying,” soonyoung says, a shit eating grin on his face. vernon flips him off, face flushing in embarrassment at the memory of him getting so drunk that he cried in mingyus arms at the club over you. they’ve never been able to let it go, bringing it up every time your name is mentioned. it’s mortifying, but a slight wake up call. except he’s not thinking with his head right now.

they all snicker, but minghao manages to give him a sympathetic shrug. it doesn’t do much to alleviate the doubt in his head, but the support is nice. simply put, his friends are not fans of you, and he doesn’t necessarily blame them. your relationship started out rocky and unserious—he was a late night booty call for you and a fill-in boyfriend without the title. he did boyfriend things with you—for you, thought you two were together until you dropped the bomb that you didn’t like him or want him like that. he was crushed, but he played it cool and told you that he wasn’t looking for a relationship anyway. that only made things worse, seeing that you only called him when you wanted some attention, and constantly made him feel like you wanted him.

the crying in the club bit was the straw that broke the camels back for his friends. they had a mock-intervention for him, urging him to delete your number and to find somebody else, but as if you were summoned at the mention of vernon moving on, you’d called him a few days later and got him back where you wanted him. he hasn’t been able to escape you since, caught in some spell or trap you put him under.

“whatever,” vernon mutters, pulling off his cap to run his fingers through his hair. “i’m leaving now.” he declares, urging himself to actually make the move to leave.

he’s halfway to the door when minghao calls out to him by saying, “my therapist would call this self-destructive behavior!”

vernon doesn’t have time to deeply evaluate his behavior as ‘self-destructive’, because he spends the twenty minute drive to your place psyching himself up. that alone should be indicative of the issue with seeing you, but he doesn’t pay it any mind. instead, he bumps his music and drums his fingers against the steering wheel.

it’s not lost on him that he was able to make it to your place without directions, though he forgot how complicated the apartment parking lot was. by the time he finds a spot that he won’t get towed and/or fined in, he’s much later than when he said he’d be at your place.

vernon sends you a quick ‘here’ text before making his way towards the door to your apartment building. he presses the buzzer for your unit, and his pulse skyrockets. in the few seconds that it takes for you to answer, he spirals thinking of every negative possibility of your encounter. what if you really do hate him, like soonyoung said? and, if not, what if he sucks in bed? what if he says something stupid? what if you find out he’s a complete and utter loser?

“vernon?” your voice crackles through the intercom and shoots straight to fast beating heart, halting his mental spiral of doom, and putting him back in the moment. he’s nervous in a different way now. he’s so unsure of himself around you sometimes—which is definitely a sign that he should cut ties with you.

“y-yeah,” he clears his throat quickly, trying to cover up his shaky voice. “it’s me.” his finger nearly throbs in pain from how much pressure he’s putting on the buzzer.

with a loud pop, the door unlocks and vernon enters. he hikes the two stories to your apartment, and by the time he’s at your door he’s mildly winded from how fast he got up there. vernon stalls a few feet from your door to regain his breath (and confidence). he chews on his bottom lip for a second and glances down the hallway and considers making a run for it.

there isn’t much thought put into that, though, because his feet take him in the other direction towards your front door, and he’s raising his fist to send three soft knocks your way. vernon shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans and sighs, dropping his shoulders and rolling them back.

you pull the door open and his eyes snap down to you, and he swears his hearing goes out for a split second, because his face feels like it’s on fire and his muscles feel heavy. and then you smile at him, and he thinks he may melt into a puddle in front of your door. “vernon!” you squeal, laughing yourself onto him, legs wrapping around his waist and arms encircling around his neck. “you took forever.” you mumble, capturing his lips in a kiss that he’s been dreaming of for weeks.

vernon silently thanks the universe that he didn’t collapse when you attached yourself to him, and that he had enough sense to hold onto the bottoms of your thighs for support. “traffic,” he lies, walking the two of you into your apartment and kicking the door closed behind him.

he stops walking and the two of you make out for a few minutes. his nerves disappeared the moment you latched onto him. granted, hes a bit nervous, but he doesn’t feel like he’s going to pass out, or like he wants to make a run for it. “you look good, baby,” you purr once you pull back from his lips to really look at him. you run your hands through his short, brown hair and smile at him, and he decides right then and there that all of the pain and suffering you’ve put him through might be worth it, if you keep smiling at him like that.

untangling you legs from his waist, vernon helps set you down and lets his hands drag up your bare legs. your skin is soft like he remembers, and he wants nothing more than to spend the rest of his life rubbing and touching it. but your hands make use of pulling down his jacket zipper and subsequently helping him out of his coat, so he unfortunately has to pull his hands away from your thighs.

“have you been working out?” you question, setting his jacket on the back of one of your bar stools. vernon looks down at his own biceps and shrugs. “i lift sometimes, yeah,” he says. you walk back over to him and shamelessly feel him up. he’s still skinny, but there’s muscle in places you don’t necessarily remember him having.

“hmm,” is all you reply—it does a lot to cover up how badly you want to tear him out of his clothes. you grab his hand and lead him down the hallway to your bedroom.

“how’ve you been?” vernon asks. you giggle at his awkwardness and give him a look over you shoulder as you pull him into your bedroom.

“really great,” you push him lightly towards your bed, and crawl onto his lap, lips finding purchase on his neck. you grind down onto him as you suck a purple mark onto his neck. “what about you?” you ask in between kisses, voice slightly breathless.

“uh, fine,” vernon spits out, mind a bit hazy when you slip off of his lap and onto your knees between his legs. “better.” you smile at him sweetly, but your hands make quick work of unbuttoning his jeans. he helps you pull them down to his ankles, along with his underwear.

a soft whimper leaves you mouth at the sight of his semi-hard dick. you press your thighs together and reach forward to grab ahold of his member and start stroking his shaft. vernon looks down at you with parted lips; he feels like he’s in a dream, watching you on your knees below him. you’ve given him head before, but it was conditional. usually, when you felt guilty for something, or knew you made him upset you would suck him off. he tries to push the thoughts away, and succeeds when you wrap you lips around the tip and attempt to take all of him. “fuuuck,” he groans, gripping onto the edge of the bed.

vernon is embarrassed at how quickly you draw out loud moans from him just by massaging his balls as you work your mouth on him. he hasn’t been with anybody else in awhile—and he’s too embarrassed to ever admit that he’s good with just having you, even if he has to wait for you to call him.

“oh, fuck, y/n,” he whines, thighs tensing. he lets go of the mattress to gather your hair and wraps it around one of his hands. you moan against his crotch when he pulls, watery eyes flicking up to meet his own. spit gathers at the corners of your mouth and vernon knows this is an image he’ll never, ever forget. “shitshitshit!” his hips buck upwards and he expects you to pull your mouth off of him to use your hands to get him to his release, but you stay put.

it drives vernon crazy. he comes fast, and he doesn’t have time to be embarrassed because you swallow, and then keep sucking after the fact. he’s never seen you act like this, and you’re a bit shocked at your own behavior—you hadn’t realized you missed him that much.

“y/n,” he whimpers, chin falling against his chest. you take that as a sign that he’s about to pass out, and reluctantly pull your mouth off of him with a pop. a trail of spit mixed with cum follows his cock to your mouth, and it makes you want to give him another blow job, but he looks too spent.

“vernon,” you start, getting off of your knees. he manages to sit upright before falling backwards onto your bed.

“give me a minute,” he croaks. you smile and take a few seconds of your own to catch your breath before you undress completely and crawl onto the bed next to him. vernon opens his eyes and looks over at you. “i wanted to do that.” he whines, referring to getting you naked, and reaches out for you.

you crawl on top of him and settle on his abdomen. his hands moves to your waist and his eyes stray trained on your breasts. you lean down a bit, practically putting your boobs in his face. vernon leans forward and wraps his lips around one of your nipples. he shifts the two of you so he’s sitting up straight, thus shifting you down onto his crotch.

you can’t help but grind yourself against him as he plays with your breasts. he fondles the own that’s not in his mouth, and keeps his eyes on you. you moan softly above him, light little pants leaving your mouth that only encourage him. “nonie,” you whine, running your hands through his hair and gently tugging on the strands. “touch me. i want you to touch me.”

vernon pulls his mouth off of your breast and slides his hand that was on your waist up your spine. he grabs the back of your neck and pulls your mouth down to his own in a messy, heated kiss. he manages to flip the two of you over, propping himself up on an elbow and slipping his other hand between your legs.

“all for you,” you purr when he drags his fingers up your slit, a look of disbelief on his face at how wet you are. “need you, nonie. your fingers, mouth, all of it.” you whine, spreading your legs open for him. vernon liked how vocal you were about what you wanted from him. he wished you were as vocal about other aspects of your guys’ relationship, but he’ll take what he can get.

vernon dips two fingers inside of you, your arousal acting as a perfect lubricant. vernon kisses your neck and chest as he fucks his fingers in and out of you. his thumb presses on your clit and you moan out his name. “more, vernon,” you breathe, gripping onto his hair tightly. “fuck, i want you to fuck me vernon. can you fuck me?” you ask, clenching around his fingers.

his cock jumps at your tone of voice and request. “i can fuck you,” he rasps. he’d rather make you cum on his fingers first, but you wish is his command. he lifts up from you and pulls his shirt off. you rake your nails along his exposed abdomen, applying light pressure. you smirk up at him and he grabs your hand and kisses your palm. it’s much too intimate, but you can’t deny the butterflies it gives you.

“grab a condom,” you remind him, pointing to your nightstand when he grabs onto the base of his dick. he quickly moves to open the drawer, and he tries to ignore the photobooth strip of photos of you and some guy he’s never met is the first thing he sees. he pushes it out of the way and grabs a stray condom, and slams the drawer shut.

he rips open the package and rolls the condom on before grabbing your leg and throwing it over his shoulder and lining himself up. vernon pushes his hips forward and sinks the tip in. “ah!” you gasp at the delicious stretch. quiet as it’s kept, vernon has a big dick and he knows how to use it. it’s unfortunate that he’s hung and is so shy about it—sometimes you wish he’d call you to fuck, rather than you doing it all the time. “fuck, vernon, you’re so big.” his body flushes with heat and he keeps pushing forward.

you suck him in welcomingly. he fits inside of you like you were made to be stuffed by him. he fucks into with a steady rhythm, and each time he pushes inside a moan is pushed form your lungs. vernon can’t keep his own moans contained, moaning our curses with each thrust. it’s dizzying, how turned on he is by you. he feels like he can’t think about anything other than fucking you and staying like this until eternity. he gets the morbid thought that he’d be okay if he died like this, buried inside of you.

“fuck, right there baby! you’re so good to me, fuck!” you shriek, mouth falling open as you look at there the two of you connect. you get lost in watching him disappear inside of you, by the white ring that’s formed at the base of his dick. the sounds vibrate off of the walls; squelching and skin on skin nearly deafening. “fuck me, vernon!” you cry, hips raising to meet his own.

tears brim in your eyes when he pulls your leg from his shoulder and shoves it up to your chest, spreading you open wider and fucking into you at a different angle. “i m-missed you,” he chokes out, shifting his weight to a single arm so he can grope your chest.

“me too,” you pant, chest arching up into his. you chase his lips with your own, wanting to feel as close to him as possible. your mouths press together, but not in a kiss. you pant and moan harshly against each other, his hips rutting into you at a faster, less rhythmic pace.

“i-im close,” he whimpers, placing an open mouthed kiss on the corner of your lips. you whine out his name as he speeds up his pace, your arms sliding up his back. you dig your nails into his skin, definitely leaving scratches. “fuck, you’re perfect.” he whispers, eyes looking into yours.

you whimper and squeeze around him before your release comes crashing over you. “nonie!” you cry, clutching onto him like a life raft as he fucks you through your orgasm. his strokes lose rhythm completely and moments later he’s coming into the condom, stilling inside of you as he does. you almost wish he wasn’t wearing a condom, so you could feel him.

vernon drops on top of you, his arms too weak to hold himself up. you cling to him, hands running through his hair absentmindedly. you don’t mind the weight of him on you, and you especially don’t mind the fact that he’s still inside of you. you have a soft spot for vernon, even though it may not seem like it. he’s the nicest guy you’ve ever been with—much nicer than the guys you’re typically acquainted with—and he’s sweet to you, even when you don’t deserve it. you know you should probably let him go, free him of your games, but something in you won’t let you. and that same something won’t let you like him—love him—how he deserves.

“vernon,” you murmur, rubbing his back.

“hmm.”

“im hot, and you’re heavy,” you say with a soft giggle. he smiles into the sheets and lifts himself up and pulls himself out of you. both of you whimper pathetically at the loss of contact, and laugh at each other seconds later. he drops down beside you on the bed, rolling onto his back. you roll onto your stomach and rest your chin on his chest before resting on your cheek, and he wraps an arm around your waist.

vernon strokes your hair and keeps his eyes on you. if he was a cartoon, his heart would be beating out of his chest and hearts would be shooting out of his eyes.

“you’re staring,” you mutter, rubbing his side.

“because you’re pretty,” he says, hand sliding from your waist to your ass. you roll your eyes and sit up onto your knees and look down at him. you can’t contain the urge to smile or kiss him, so you do both. “you should go pee.” he mumbles, breaking the kiss.

“right,” you say, quickly getting off the bed. no other guy would remind you to pee after sex, but of course vernon does. every single time, too. you wish you could leave him alone.

vernon sits up and grabs his boxers. he pulls them on and stretches his arms above his head, sighing when he feels a pop in his shoulders. somewhere behind him, a phone buzzes once, then twice, then incessantly. he doesn’t know where his phone is, so he digs around in the bed until he finds the source, pulling out the phone from under a pillow. it’s definitely not his, so he feels sort of strange holding it as the name ‘seungcheol’ flashes across the screen.

“what are you doing with my phone?” you ask with an accusatory tone, eyebrows furrowed as you tie your robe.

“i couldn’t find mine, and it was ringing,” vernon says, holding it out to you. you snatch it out of his hand unnecessarily, ready to tell him to mind his business until you look down at the screen and see three texts and a missed call from a guy you’re seeing. it’s not super serious, but you feel bad for vernon having to see it.

“sorry,” you mutter, quickly typing out a response to seungcheol. you try to shove the guilt down as you set your phone down on your dresser. it’s awkward and tense, and you can feel him watching you as you mess around with things on your dresser.

glancing up, you catch his eyes in the mirror and sigh before turning around to face him. you crawl onto the bed next to him and sit on your knees. he won’t meet your eyes, so you try the only thing to bring him back to you.

you kiss his neck and run your hands across his chest. he doesn’t react so you pull your robe open and grab his hand, placing it on your chest and squeezing. “vernon,” you murmur, crawling into his lap. you kiss up his neck, to his jaw, and when you get to his mouth he pulls back.

it’s not his business at all, but he can’t hold back when he asks, “who was that?”

you bite your bottom lip and encircle your arms around your neck. you press your weight into his crotch and bite back a smile when he covers a groan with a throat clear. “he’s just a friend, nonie,” you lie, kissing his cheek. “you have me. all of me.”

he looks up at you with wide eyes, and you feel his cock twitch under your ass. he’s pathetic, and it’s never been more clear to him because he kisses you and palms your breast, pinching your nipple lightly and shoving off your robe. he knows he’s reaches new lows because he lets you push him flat onto the bed and pull his underwear down. when you sink down onto him—with no condom this time—he knows he’s fucked.

you ride him like your life depends on it, like him forgetting that seungcheol ever called is imperative to keeping this thing going between the two of you, because it is. you bring out all the stops, riding him on your toes and telling him things he definitely wants to hear, like how nobody feels better than him, and he’s the best you’ve ever had.

vernon leaves your apartment with clarity on one thing: he understands why his friends can’t stand you.

#svt imagines #svt smut #svt angst #vernon smut #vernon angst #vernon fluff #seventeen smut #vernon x reader #vernon x y/n #svt x reader #seventeen x y/n #seventeen x you #hansol vernon chwe #chwe vernon

[lover-of-mine]

Far from me to make Shannon about Buck, but I keep saying the way that Eddie reacts to Buck during the lawsuit is about the effort and that Eddie would've reacted differently to Shannon if Shannon had made the choice to come back herself when people try to make that comparison, and I feel like the episode proved me right on that front. Shannon left Eddie and Chris and Eddie reached out and that was why she came back, and she never told Eddie why she left Eddie, Eddie had no closure on the way she left him in the middle of the night. And that's the thing that gets him, because he seemed to accept in some level he could trust she wouldn't voluntarily leave Christopher again, but he never managed to trust she wouldn't leave him, and she did leave him before she died, he thought that her not coming back on her own would always mean maybe she would leave again and Shannon asked for a divorce and that confirmed that fear. All Eddie wanted from her was the explanation "if you loved me, why did you leave me? What wasn't enough? Me or your love for me?" if she didn't want to stay, and he will never get that because they made statements about each other using Christopher, as if the effort towards Chris would be enough to keep their relationship together. Considering the whole way Eddie proposed because she was pregnant and he decides to try again for real because he thinks she's pregnant again, and the way she demands for a stance regarding being brought back into Chris' life to define their relationship, and "is that who I am to you? Christopher's mother" they never really talked to each other about each other with Chris removed from the equation, and that was what they needed, to have an honest conversation about each other without believing Chris could magically keep them together. Eddie needs his own letter and he'll never get it because neither one of them ever sit down to talk about what all the running did to the other. Not beyond Shannon yelling at Eddie that what she needed was him and he wasn't there. And considering the way Shannon is all Eddie knows with how young they were when they met, his reactions when it comes to relationships come from what he was taught to expect there. It's why he folds the way he did when Buck apologizes and explains how he was feeling and why he did what he did. Because Buck apologizing the way he does validates a part of Eddie abandonment issues that's not validated often enough. Buck realized what happened hurt Eddie and he made a direct effort to make it up to Eddie without going around the issues. And that's interesting because Eddie himself hides behind Christopher during the whole situation, he calls Buck out for leaving him by putting Chris in the middle so he won't have to say that he misses Buck.

And I think the whole thing adds to the way Eddie changing his will feels inherently romantic, because simply asking a friend to be your kid's guardian isn't romantic, but doing it and hiding it when you have a history of making statements about your romantic life using your kid is. Shannon demanded a statement about what she and Eddie were through Christopher and Eddie makes a statement about what Buck is to him through Christopher. And it's an interesting contrast in the situation when you consider the similarities between the fight Shannon and Eddie have at the station in 210 and the will reveal (same color palette, same general feeling of defining relationships through Chris) because Shannon was only getting Eddie and Buck only got Christopher, and neither relationship could go anywhere until they addressed the balance that needs to exist between the two. Obviously, any relationship Eddie enters needs to consider Christopher, but Chris can't be the defining factor and that's the thing that Eddie himself keeps failing to realize. Yes, Christopher's needs are important, but Eddie needs to also consider his own needs if he wants to make a relationship work, but he never acknowledged that until he was yelling at Kim that Chris got a letter but Eddie never did. Because that's what Eddie needs to move on, to not look for a mother for Chris, but for a partner for him who also happens to love Christopher. But he can't see that because what he wants is the fantasy he had as a teenager of growing old with Shannon and he can't let that go even though he's never going to get that.

And I feel like this rambling also adds to my general rambling about how Buck is the one who needs to start his endgame relationship, so he's the one who needs to make the choice to fight for Eddie, because in the same way that Buck keeps being pursued by people and he keeps letting himself be chased because he doesn't want to make a choice in a fucked up mirror of that first relationship with Abby, the relationship that shaped Eddie is a relationship where he wasn't chosen to be in. From marrying Shannon before they were ready because she was pregnant to being the one to ask her to come back, he never knew if she was with him because she wanted to be with him or out of obligation to Chris and the same sense of duty that made them get married in the first place, in the same way that Abby took the agency away from Buck by crashing into his life the way she did and forcing him into this waiting position that he needs to leave. Buck needs to make a choice because he needs to stop waiting for love to find him and Eddie needs to be chosen because he never knew what that feels like to have love choose him.

#911 #911 spoilers #buddie #buddie thoughts #just a thought #that was in my head and i felt like sharing

[possibly-a-table-or-just-gay]

thinking about how Bilbo's insecurity throughout the whole trilogy is that he is not strong enough, he's just a hobbit, he is not capable for the quest. he doesn't believe he can be of use to the dwarves, he doubts himself. he knows he is a small creature of comforts that was never equipped to attack or defend or even burgle. while Thorin’s insecurity is that he is not worthy of his people's faith in him. he goes on the quest not for his own gains but despite Balin's reassurance that he has done right by the dwarves, Thorin wants to reclaim Erebor for his people, to restore their homeland. he continues on with bull-headed stubbornness even with several people telling him its a bad idea because he needs to prove himself a worthy king to people who already acknowledge him as such. he wants the arkenstone because it is the only thing that will summon the seven armies of the dwarves.

thinking about how in Thorin’s death scene, they answer these insecurities almost. Thorin apologises to Bilbo, that he's sorry he led Bilbo into such peril, that he's sorry that he failed him and Bilbo answers "I am glad to have shared in your perils, Thorin, each and every one of them." he says 'you failed, and I am glad I followed you anyway'. he says it is more than any Baggins deserves and Thorin answers "If more more people valued home above gold, this world would be a merrier place." he tells him not that he is deserving of battle but that 'the world is a better place with people like you'.

to me these are more heartfelt sentiments than simply 'you are strong' or 'you are a great leader'. Thorin tells Bilbo, who believes himself not right and too small that he is valuable, that he is so important in the grand scheme of things. Bilbo tells Thorin, who believes himself a failed leader, unworthy of his people's trust that he is proud that he had faith in Thorin despite.

Thorin gets to die knowing that his people do not regret having faith in him and Bilbo gets to live knowing that he is right for this world in a way that is his own.

#no matter if you read them as romantic or platonic you have to acknowledge they were everything to eachother #bagginsheild #thilbo #bilbo baggins #thorin oakenshield #the hobbit trilogy #the hobbit #the hobbit botfa #botfa

[covertblizzard]

WHY JASON TODD IS THE SWEETEST CUTEST TINIEST ROBIN

(but like in terms of meta / out-of-universe / story-telling reasons)

When Dick as Robin was first conceptualised, it was more of a person to let Batman talk to so that the readers knew what was going on, sort of a Watson to Batman’s Sherlock. It was also fun to watch a little boy wreck shit up for the villains, no insanse “is a child hero okay” thing going on, just plain simple fun and don’t think too much about it.

By the time it reacher Jason’s era, DC has been running for over 40 years. Overall, they have moved away from the very episodic storytelling and started to have more overarching storylines and more theme explorations (not that there weren’t before but they were of different types).

One of the themes I felt like they were exploring a lot during that time was about how young and vulnerable Robin (Jason) was as a child, specifically probably to explore Bruce as a father. I’m not saying that they didn’t do this with Dick ever, just that Dick didn’t start out with that intention, whereas this was a heavy theme for Jason right from the start. Seriously, they hit you over the head with it every few issues.

A copy of Dick at first or not, Jason opening storyline would inherently differ from Dick’s because of being 40 years apart and because the thematic focus and purpose of Robin shifted during this time. As a result, a lot of portrayal of Robin Jason would have him being more young / cute / sweet / innocent / vulnerable in general because it was needed to portray Batman Bruce as a father. It was essential to the story they were trying to tell that Jason was a sweet little boy who was easy to love (I’m pretty sure Bruce essentially said so in his own words when talking about Natalia).

Tim was created to be Batman’s partner. Steph... I don’t know what the comic writers were thinking with her treatment (and will probably come to better conclusions when I read about her because I don’t know who to trust about her stories). Damian was created in an era where comic felt the need to give “justifications” for why a child hero was okay and was hence a super-trained child assassin. 

None of the other options really gave space to be or showcase them as properly young or vulnerable as often (and mostlly required the exact opposite), whereas Jason’s storyline happened to require him shown in that light quite often imo. Basically, the same reason why Bruce was his most fatherly with Jason is the reason why Jason gave the tiniest vibes.

#jason todd #bruce wayne #dick grayson #tim drake #stephanie brown #damian wayne #batman #robin #dc thoughts #mypost #they are all of course product of their times and the stories that dc happened to want to tell at that time #jason's stories simply resulted in him being a cute sweet tiny loveable boy #and i simply think this is important to acknowledge #i think all the time about the other robins seeing jason robin and being like :O #(besides dick of course) #this is just my opinion feel free to disagree lol #would be interesting to hear other people's take but this is just what i've gathered

[variousqueerthings]

I'm watching someone go through doctor who (Nu!Who) for the first time having an absolutely (understandable) Time in relation to how Ten leaves the show and that person is making some very good points that really...

Ten really doesn't leave the show feeling (for lack of a better word) all that great, and like David Tennant became so much the face of New!Who, in a way that's persisted since he left, but the character left in the way that he did, as this utterly broken soul [insert here meta about next doctor as trauma response]

and anyway, yeah how did I watch that as a teenager who had so utterly imprinted on this show from day one, obviously shocked by the Eccleston departure (I did not come from a DW watching family, so nobody was there to inform me about regeneration), but comforted by the way he goes (in-show, outside of that, slightly different feelings ofc), and then pulled in by this new doctor who at first appears to spill over in abundance of wonder and joy, but it turns out he's bleeding heart allowing himself pain over and over again until he just wants to die

and then he decides that maybe, actually, he's going to be okay, he'll live, and then he dies!!! on his flipping own!!!

no wonder teen!me struggled to reconcile with the next part of the story seemingly excising what came before, no wonder the idea of a decent proper catharsis leading into ncuti gatwa's run has been making me jump up and down for months. I never felt like there was a proper bridge between the original Nu!Who run and what came next, I hope this'll reconcile both the parts that came before, and what's still to come

#i do hope and expect that this isn't going to mess with the importance of jodie whittaker's run #i really don't think it's intended in the spirit of 'oh and now the doctor we Really wanted to see is finally back' #and more an opportunity to wrap that up properly + bringing it all together #not necessarily trying to make everything a coherent narrative but simply through acknowledging what came before is connected #doctor who #dw #david tennant

[navramanan]

yeom mijeong put it into words so well for me. i'm a good person i won't ask to be loved. asking for love implies you're difficult to love because you're a bad person, so you ask for it. being a good person makes you lovable enough to be loved by someone, so a good person doesn't ask to be loved. a good person is just loved, without having to ask or beg for it. i'm a good person, so why should i ask to be loved? i'm a good person, why am i not loved.

#thinking thoughts are being thunk idk #is this something? #i had difficulties interpreting that mantra so i can understand it #and this is how i understand it #i think yeom mijeong might not agree with this but to me this also applies to people who claim to love you but dont make you feel loved #by putting their words into action. by showing they love you by showing they care for you #so the way i see ''i'm a good person i wont ask to be loved'' #is i wont ask for your affection i wont ask you to show you care wont ask you to show up for me #am i not good enough of a person for you to do that without me asking for it? #i understand it's a thin line between communicating your needs and not asking to be loved and simplying wanting to be loved #i also believe there's some bare minimum things you should do. especially after i've communicated with you that theyre important to me #as a baseline to see you do care for me. you do think about me. you do want to see me to talk to me to spend time with me #and you acknowledge it. but leave it there. and continue your inaction #and i'm left in a horrible fucking position bc ur important enough for me to not want to cut you off for this reason #i'm left to sit in that position bc i only have very few people i cherish in my life and most of them act this way #if i were to cut them off i'd be left rotting away by my own #which is better. that or to live with a couple people you know love you but dont show you they do so you have this gaping hole inside you #idk this is just me doing a whole lot of yapping #nesi rants #my liberation notes

[wonder-worker]

"...Walsingham, the monastic author of the St. Albans Chronicle, was by far [Alice Perrers'] harshest contemporary critic, who in his venom has (somewhat ironically) left us with the longest and most detailed account of her background and personality, her influence as Edward’s mistress, and her subsequent trial. He describes Alice as a shameless lowborn meretrix (a word variously translated as mistress, whore, or harlot), who “brought almost universal dishonour upon the king’s reputation […] and defiled virtually the whole kingdom of England with her disgraceful insolence.” Although Walsingham was not always accurate and, specifically in this case, clearly heavily biased against Alice, he nevertheless provides a truly contemporary account, and his importance as a source should not be underestimated. Likewise, the anonymous monk of St. Mary’s York recorded that in the Good Parliament the Commons (represented by their speaker, Sir Peter de la Mare) stated that it “would be of great gain to the kingdom to remove the said dame [Alice] from the presence of the king both as a matter of conscious and of the ill prosecution of the war.” During the same assembly, the bishop of Rochester, Thomas Brinton, preached from St. Paul’s Cross that “it is not fitting nor safe for all the keys of the kingdom to hang from the belt of one wife.” Although the word wife (uxoris) is used, it is widely accepted that this is a reference to Alice.”

-Laura Tompkins, '"Edward III's Gold-Digging Mistress": Alice Perrers, Gender, and Financial Power at the English Royal Court, 1360-1377", "Women and Economic Power in Premodern Courts" (edited by Cathleen Sarti). Italics by me.

#alice perrers #historicwomendaily #my post #edward iii #@ anon who asked me how much faith should we put in Walsingham's account of Alice #Walsingham is undoubtedly vicious and prejudiced (and thus not always accurate - perhaps deliberately so) where Alice is concerned #But he is also a direct contemporary eyewitness and is thus invaluable as a source. His importance can never be emphasized enough. #More importantly however - the image of Alice as a transgressive woman with improper influence who 'hijacked' the kingdom #is not merely painted by Walsingham or limited to his account #It's how these other sources - the monk at St. Mary's and the Bishop of Rochester - depicted her as well #('it is not fitting nor safe for all the keys of the kingdom to hang from the belt of one wife' is pretty telling in more ways than one) #as did contemporary literature of the time like Chaucer's 'Wife of Bath' and William Langland's Lady Meed in 'Piers Plowman' #the whole point of the Good Parliament & the Parliament after Edward III's death was to simultaneously restrict her influence & punish her #So...I'd say Walsingham's image of Alice (unfortunately) tracks with how she was widely perceived at the time #Of course that doesn't mean that this image shouldn't be reassessed and recontextualized #Misogyny and classism very demonstrably played a huge role in how Alice was regarded by contemporaries #Ormrod has also pointed out that no matter the extent of Alice's influence she would ultimately always be limited by the practical #reality of being a woman and a commoner #'Her sex and status simply did not allow her the regular and acknowledged access to power enjoyed by politically ambitious male favourites' #It is not impossible that she was 'a symbol rather than a cause' of the crisis in Edward III's late reign #And of course it's true that WERE people who defended her publicly and privately even after Edward's death as Walsingham himself admits #She can't have been as universally detested as most people think #(we should also consider Walsingham's deriding comment about her 'seductiveness' ie: she was probably very witty and charismatic) #But ofc none of this change the fact that Walsingham's image of Alice's 'impropriety' transgressiveness was a widespread one #Nor does it change the fact that this image was fundamentally rooted in the very real and impressive power she had #Alice WAS proactive and acquisitive and wildly influential (Edward III listened to her over several of his own children ffs) #She DID have more power and visibility than any other royal mistress in medieval England #She DOES seem to have acted in ways that would have been perceived as 'inverting queenship' #*That's okay*. Alice's actions & image should absolutely be recontextualized and given more sympathy than they are #but I have absolutely no intention of diminishing or downplaying them either. That's why I love her so much.

[bloodborne-on-pc]

Concept: one of those religious calendars where it's like "The Wonders of God's World" or whatever, but instead of pictures of charismatic animals and serene landscapes, it's all parasites and natural disasters.

#rambling and raving #if such a thing as god exists then it made those things too #and even if it doesn't (which as an agnostic i think is likely) i still believe these things should be acknowledged and appreciated #both for their ecological importance and because they are simply themselves

[theghostofashton]

.

#adding onto that last reblog i think something that often gets missed in conversations about activism is that they do take work #it is energy and emotional labor to format and frame things in a way that isn't angry and attacking people #it's effort that sometimes people who are personally impacted by whatever issue simply do not have the bandwidth to do #and it shouldn't be expected it shouldn't be oligatory #if you're trying to educate people you need to do so in a way that's not shaming them #and sometimes that's hard bc you feel so strongly and it's infuriating that people don't know about this thing that's so important to you #but projecting your anger about that onto them is not going to be effective #bc like that post said people will not respond well to that kind of message #and if your point is to educate and to create change in that way you need to approach it in a way that will lead to that #so often i think people cling to shaming others because they're right about an issue and while you may be right #you are doing nothing to get people to want to listen to you so how have you done anything at all #not everyone needs to educate and if you don't want to you shouldn't feel obligated to #bc someone who meets people where they're at is more effective than someone who shames and attacks people and makes them feel bad #this stuff is work it involves so much work and i think it's important to acknowledge that bc it is not for everyone #there are people who are willing and there are people who aren't and i think both need to be okay for us to make progress #neha rambles

[trainingdummyrabbit]

see the thing that i like so much about ruina so far is that it doesnt feel like its telling you to do something. like, specifically, it presents characters in situations, and reveals how they handle it. and afterwards... its just over. theyve simply done what they had to. theres never really any "ah, they were Flawed because they did This, so instead of doing That you should take This lesson from it." characters just... Are, and Do. theres no heavy urge to chamge the way you think, for lack of a better description. rather, it places down concepts and leaves it there, giving space for Thought rather than Explanation.

even with cut ins of angela and roland doing their own commentary-- it's never really presented as a You Should Take This Concept From This, but rather as... them Also figuring it out. because Everyone in the cast is just... odd, messy, flawed-- human. you can take away the same thing they do, or not. because everyone just does what they think is right, and deal with the consequences of it. it doesnt matter. things just move on. theres something refreshing about it.

#piktalk #verrry tagramble but um #like um. grain of salt because i havent Finished and havent had time to gather actual thoughts abt it so i may just be wrong-- #but again. ruina with the steel chair. #not 2 get personal again but that has just kind of been on my mind a lot recently-- #how often it is that other opinions simply... rub off on you. how theres just what youre Supposed to do or think. #that theres just one True way of thinking that everyone should strive for. when thats just... not how that really goes. #that theres a Right way to think and a Wrong one. when really its just kinda... choices. made to the best of ones ability in the moment. #it doesnt Have to be Good or Right. life goes on anyway. and somehow that can be just as scary as some sort of percieved 'wrong'. #and additionally-- how easy it is to Say you should act or think a certain way-- when truly understanding; believing; following it-- #--is an entirely different story. its easy to tell yourself to just not worry; to have patience and kindness; to just keep your head high. #but actually enacting it takes effort. and not just that; but that those dour emotions that come with that inability-- #--are just as important to acknowledge and give their space. #idk. i could be bullshitting. ig what it comes down to is #its nice to watch characters just... Make Decisions and Deal With Them. and thats it. no grand sweeping statements of Certainty. it just Is #ruina is very much one of those series i feel unqualified to speak for; as if others just Get It more than me; but... i speak anyhow !

[culmaer]

¶

#I've tried to avoid thinking about this for years #but have nevertheless come to a conclusion #I do in fact believe in god #(not capitalised or censored bc I don't mean this in the Abrahamic sense) #but I live my life as an atheist #because I'm angry and refuse to acknowledge them #I simply do not believe they are beneficient and merciful #yet I believe #... #I do not want to believe this #I wish I were truly atheist or joyfully faithful #but alas #but no need for concern #I am not a bitter person #despite everything I believe kindness is the most important thing #because if god will not be there for us #we have to be there for each other #I do realise this is probably the most pointless beleid system #and is in every practical sense atheism #but I do pray or meditate or whatever for what it's worth... #when I say god is uncaring #I do not mean they are malicious #certainly not #I'm just not sure what the value system is (the divine is after all incomprehensible) #not that it would matter anyway #bc I do not believe in a heaven for ''good people'' and hell for ''bad people'' that's frankly ridiculous #but there is an afterlife #more than anything I am convinced of that

[cherry-pop-soda]

since its almost pride month im just coming to say if I see one more american acting like our queer history is universal I will be biting and killing. we are but a small fraction of all queer history and if people here dont get that thru their fucking heads i might go insane. this is not to say that our history is unimportant its just to say that it is not NEARLY all of queer history and I am tired of people here acting like that is the case. there is so much other queer history out there and even though I dont know a lot about all of it I do know that I dont want it to be erased.

source: i am also american

#americans stop acting like everyone is american challenge #and like don’t get me wrong american queer history is extremely important to me personally but I also know it’s not every queer person’s #shared history #stonewall was incredibly important for us and that means something to me but it didn’t change the entire world #also. there is so much fucking queer history from literally centuries or thousands of years before america even existed and I think that #that history also deserves to be brought up and talked about. it’s important. it shows that we have always existed and we always will #I wish I knew more about queer history outside of america as well honestly #and I know someone will see this and take it like i’m not appreciating american queer history enough and that is NOT what I mean #I just simply. want other americans to start acknowledging that we are not the center of the universe and we have so much learning to do #about the rest of the world #queer #lgbt #lgbtq #queer history

[brltpop]

.

#highly controversial opinion #kind of #if you take the general meaning of it then its not really controversial xd but hear me out #every time i hear people saying rich people can't have mental health issues because 'they're billionaires' nd they can afford treatment #i roll my eyes super hard because yess. its true #but at the end of the day sometimes mental illnesses consume you so much you just don't seek for help #not speaking from experience but there are people who either refuse to acknowledge they need help or they just don't seek for it #regardless if they have money or not #because money and your wellbeing and everything around you suddenly becomes less important bc again you're consumed into your state! #and sure being financially secure can definitely ease up many many concerns #but whenever i hear people saying the blonde devil can't be s-cidal because she's rich i go 🙃🙃🙃 #unfortunately yess you can. it sucks but conditions like that don't really discriminate from classes #and yess money can definitely ease up the load but still #i think if people want to come after the blonde devil for making a ''''''s-cidal''''' album (tbh I'm not informed to know if that's legit) #then they should call her out for choosing that prompt as a concept for an album #because THAT is what's messed up #but don't say 'people with money can't have mental health issues' bc that's simply not true #they just have an easier way to handle it. that's all #also I'm not a doctor but no. the blonde devil isn't s-cidal and i cannot believe their fans are pushing that narrative 💀 #will delete this later

[tevatron]

my catholic colleague asked me if my family is christian and when i said no she said "oh, but you seem so nice!" uh oh!

#christians really don't view non-christians as people huh #she's very nice. we work well together. i simply ignore the catholicism #she thinks i'm good at my job and recommends me to people which is great but she doesn't approve of my lifestyle #she said that she supports 'the gays' but when she was drunk she told me that she only believes in sex between a married couple #with the intention of reproduction. i decided to not tell her about my sexuality (i think she knows but doesn't acknowledge it) #we maintain a decent working relationship by ignoring the most important parts of each other’s lives #i asked her how her vacation was (to be nice) and she started telling me a long story about going to church #and i was just nodding and saying ‘uh huh’ a lot. trying to speedrun the convo #please stop telling me about catholicism. i want to talk about DATA ANALYSIS

[thecatspasta]

Inspired by @arrgh-whatever's post on helping ppl with BPD

Edit bc I forgot to add this: Being vulnerable means smth different for different ppl, something that could read as being vulnerable to you can read as just another Tuesday for someone else

[ID: a simply-drawn comic, narrated by a person coloured-in in pink.

Panel 1: The pink person narrates: "So there's a lot of "signs your ex is a narcissist and how to deal with them" and it's not very accurate. So here's how to actually "deal" with a narcissist from someone with narcissistic personality disorder."

Panel 2: This panel has the heading: "1. Supply." The pink person narrates: "People with NPD have very fragile self-esteem, and supply is what keeps us from having a mental breakdown. Supply can be many things, but often attention and praise are effective. Stuff like "Wow! That's super cool!!" can go a long way." A person is shown saying this to another person, who smiles.

Panel 3: This panel has the heading: "2. Criticism." The pink person narrates: "Oh boy. So narcissists take things as personal very easily. It's because if anyone contradicts our delusions that we have built our entire self-image on, it feels like you are attacking us as a person." There is an example shown, where one person says "hey, you were a bit too rude back there," but the other person hears "You're an awful dick no-one likes." The alternative manner of phrasing is suggested as "Hey, you were a bit too rude. You're cool, but some people took it poorly." The second person in this example thinks "I'm still a cool person. It's not my fault, but I can do things to be better." The narrator continues, "We don't really understand the concept of a harmless mistake."

Panel 4: This panel has the heading: "3. Boundaries." The pink person narrates: "With narcissists, setting down strict boundaries is very important. 1. Knowing we have hurt you because you didn't set down boundaries can really upset and annoy us because the delusions that we can do no wrong and know you best get broken. 2. If you let us break boundaries, it can lead us to see you as "weak" and devalue you. Communication is key."

Panel 5: This panel has the heading: "4. Anger." The pink person narrates: "So people with NPD tend to be prone to anger. This is a defense mechanism, because to us, it's either facing the inaccuracies of our delusions and having a mental breakdown, or blaming something else. We do not mean to lash out; we just don't have the skills to cope properly. You can help by: 1. Letting us express out emotions without judgement; 2. giving us praise or attention; and 3. Distracting us from what angered us." Each example of how to help is accompanied by a small cartoon.

Panel 6: This panel has the heading: "5. Other NPD things!" The pink person narrates: "'Love bomb, devalue, discard' is actually: we are genuinely obsessed with you and want you to recognize us as cool, we lose that obsession and move on, we feel threatened in some way and lash out. We can't really handle being seen as vulnerable. We take sympathy and empathy as pity and pity as you telling us we're weak. Not acknowledging we're being vulnerable and acting as if nothing is wrong can be helpful in these situations. People with NPD have a very warped view of reality. We do not mean to hurt you and often do not realise we have. Remember, this won't work for everyone, and talking is very important."

/end ID]

Ty to @aromanticsky for the id

#garlic breath #pasta scribbles #mental health #mental health awareness #npd safe #actually narcissistic #actually npd #narcissistic personality disorder #npd #actually mentally ill #actually neurodivergent #mental illness #neurodivergent #art #my art #cluster b #cluster b safe #npd info #cluster b info #cluster b awareness

[mavigator]

i talked about it a little bit already but i have things to say about it. for context, i was born with amniotic band syndrome. the amniotic band wrapped around my left wrist in utero and stunted the growth of my hand. i was born with about half a palm, four nubs for fingers, and a twisted half of a thumb. i can open and close my thumb and pinkie joint like a claw.

yesterday at work i had a shift in the room with 5-10 year old kids. i had my left hand hidden in my sleeve (a bad habit of mine). a kid asked if he could see my hand, and even though internally i was debating running into traffic, i said “sure you can” and showed him my hands. he stared for a moment, looking disturbed, and then said “i don’t want to look at that anymore”. that hurt to hear, but i understand that kids are new to the world and he probably didn’t mean it out of malice. i put my hand away again, told him that it was okay, and that i was just born that way.

he then went on to talk about how he knows a kid with a similar hand to mine and called it “ugly”. i told him that wasn’t a very kind thing to say and that he wouldn’t feel good if someone said that to him, and he replied that no one would say that to him—because he has “normal hands”, and he’s glad he does because otherwise he’d be “ugly”. i tried to talk with him for a bit about how everybody is born differently, but he just started talking about a girl he knows with a “messed up face” and pulled on his face to make it look droopy. i went on some more about how it wasn’t very kind to talk about people that way, but the conversation moved on to something else.

i’ve told my supervisors about it and they’re going to have a talk with his mom. what i wanted to say is this: i’m genuinely not upset with the kid. kids are young and naturally curious, and he clearly simply hasn’t been taught about disabled people and kind ways to speak to/about others. which is why i am upset with his parent(s). i know he’s encountered visibly deformed/disabled people before (he said so himself!), yet his parent(s) clearly haven’t had any kind of discussion with him about proper language and behavior. i knew from birth that some people were just different than others, but my parents still made a point to assert to be kind to and accepting of others. i wonder if adults in his life are the type of people to hush him and usher him away when he points out someone in a wheelchair. that kind of thing doesn’t teach politeness. it tells children that disabled people are an Other than can’t be acknowledged or spoken about; which, to a child, means disability must be something bad.

i’m lucky enough that this was a relatively mild incident, and that i’m a grownup with thicker skin. i’m worried about the other kids he mentioned to me. has he been talking to them this way? when i was a kid, i had other kids scream, cry, and run away at the sight of my hand. or follow me around pointing at me and laughing at me. or tell me i couldn’t do something because i was ugly or incapable or whatever. one time a girl at an arcade climbed to the top of the skeeball machine, pointed at me, and screamed at me to put my hand away and wouldn’t stop crying until she couldn’t see me anymore. another time, a kid saw my hand, screamed at the top of her lungs, and ran into my friend’s arms, crying hysterically about how i was scaring her. that second incident made me cry so hard i threw up when i got home. i can kind of laugh it off now, but having people react to me that way as a child is something i’m still getting over. why do you think i have a habit of keeping my hand in my sleeve? it just irritates me to see children that have clearly not been taught basic manners and kindness—their parents Clearly missed something pretty important .

#and for the record i consider my deformity pretty mild. maybe i’m just used to it but things like amniotic band syndrome can turn out a lot #more severe. i rarely even call myself disabled because i don’t feel like the term is applicable to me. i’m more hindered by like #my adhd anxiety depression etc than i am my hand. so for those kids to react that way to what i THINK #is a pretty small thing. makes me worry about people that are more visibly disabled #Kids.That are more visibly disabled