#and my recent playthrough has made it all worse

[helpimstuckinafandom]

No but the protag is so goddamn sad the entire third semester like he can't catch a break

Man defeated god only for the metaverse and all that shit to stick around anyway, he's going to have to fight his friend (Maruki) even though neither of them really want to. Like the dialogue options make this so clear that he's just run down. The amount of "......" options, like I can FEEL the silent pain. Then he's gotta see all of his friends living the better lives they could've had and wake them up from it, and every time you do he just stands there after for a moment, looking at his friends as they leave, and just go home because it's up to his friend now. Like "I guess I should go home" babe you sound empty. You got your new friend Kasumi working with you, at least she's here, but oh wait she's her dead sister actually and can't bare the pain and is begging you to let her forget it all again and you have to fight her. You got Akechi's bitch-ass (said with love and affection) having you fight her alone (I understand that you would murder her Akechi, but damn) always saying some shit like that line about how "oh? None of your so-called friends are showing up?" or something like that, which a) I'm hurting please man, and b) the response options either are an angry "you got something you wanna say?" type of thing or a "they'll show up" which I can't help as read a little sad, a level of doubt in the words given that your other option is to lash out a bit. Then even when you do have your friends back and things are improving, oh! Akechi's fucking dead actually! The emotional punch of that. The way you have a dialogue option to actually yell at Akechi when he's calling this a trivial matter. Because it's not trivial. And after everything you've done you can actually compromise on your values and everything you've worked for - even after fighting God - because this was just a step too far. But (in the true ending) you don't. Because you can't you just can't. For the sake of everything you went through and fought for - for Akechi's sake - you still have to be strong and fight Maruki and change reality back. And you do. And when there's that last fistfight - just Maruki and the protag - where Maruki vents out his last frustrations, you're doing it too. For the way you always have to be strong, for the way you had to shatter the ideal lives of all your friends, for the way Akechi's going to die, you punch back. You let it out. Then there's that brief moment where Maruki's hanging over the edge and you're holding on which bro I'm not letting you die fucking try me too much shit has happened and I am not letting you die thank you.

And then you're in normal reality. Finally, for real this time, maybe it's over. But you're in jail. You fought God, saved reality, went through a gut punch of emotions that was just so rough for a 16/17 year old, and now you're in fucking jail, and have been for over two months technically.

Like fuck dude. The protag just got so worn out and tired over that extra semester. He's just so damn tired.

#anyway i'm hurting and all my fic ideas are angst and i actually can't right now #like i had these two ideas for the past year which have been haunting me #and my recent playthrough has made it all worse #and i can't #persona 5 #persona 5 royal #persona 5 royal spoilers #like i know we don't have to tage for spoilers #but also #persona 5 protagonist #akira kurusu #ren amamiya #persona 5 third semester #p5 third semester #persona series #p5r #holy shit i' sorry for the long post #idk how to put the read more button on mobile

[loveislandthegame]

my overall thoughts on season 7, writing edition: what in the world ? 😭 i cannot believe i thought this season was gonna be good. i’ll be joining rohan & S2 MC in the circus, since FB made me look like a damn clown. i don't even know where to begin

being a casa girl had so much potential, and it was something that a lot of players actually wanted, even before FB started doing these themed seasons. they really fumbled the bag here

i enjoyed casa amor. the guys were all unique, had their own dialogue, and it was cool to see their pre-established relationships (alex being the villa dad, bryson and rafa being partners in chaos, the beef between bryson & joyo) then we arrived in the villa, and it all went downhill from there:

everybody became an empty husk, so they could be forced into interchangeable roles: uma’s partner, bonnie’s partner, OG LI’s ex, loved up couple (summer/joyo or #rafne) to name a few. FB’s lazy asses ruined their own characters . why is alex, the supposed level-headed & mature one, being petty & childish af in my playthrough? 😭

MC literally had no thoughts, head empty. we barely participated in any of the challenges and games. it felt like we didn't do anything besides "get pulled for a chat" by your LI or the girls

the LI personality merge in this season was the worst it has ever been. all they do is agree with whatever you say, or tell you how great you are (gone are the days of LIs having their own interests, & getting extra dialogue because of that, like levi with artist MCs)

same problem as the most recent seasons, where MC doesn’t have friendships. she has a forced bestie, then potential LIs that sit around waiting for you to pick them, choose them, love them (they immediately disappear if you don’t pick them)

the plot made no sense at all. being a casa girl means we miss out on the first half of the season, but there were many different ways they could've shown what happened before we arrived (it couldve been something as simple as MC watching the show at home or during the jeep ride to the villa. lol) the timeline was inconsistent, so much important information was paywalled, and i’m pretty sure FB was just making shit up as they went along, since the drama with stephen and OG LI's ex genuinely came out of nowhere . he wasn’t previously mentioned in the beach hut, casa amor, nothing . his only purpose was to make the OG girl look bad.

speaking of the OG girls, what a disappointment . before we got to the villa, i honestly thought they were hinting at estelle and/or willow being LIs . even if they were forced to be our rival, they still could’ve had an interesting character arc . it would've been a lot more fun if she was like allegra, rather than OG LI's equivalent of suresh

i was gonna write, "why tf did she even make it to the finale?" but the answer is obvious : for the gem scenes. every damn volume, it's pay diamonds to upstage her, pay diamonds to clapback, pay diamonds so “your man” doesn't turn his head 🙄 it's already stupid enough, but it makes even less sense if you're not pursuing your OG LI

which leads me to the biggest problem of this season, the lack of branching. you're given the illusion of choice, everything leads to the same outcome . i didn't think it could get any worse, until i saw what happens when you choose the money . does your LI storm off? nope. they make you do the treasure hunt anyways...to win you back ??😭 MC should've called security on their ass

s7 had a promising start but ended up being a flop. it was better than s5, but that's really not saying much . i wish FB would just take their time—s1 and 2 had a whole year long gap between them. but it's clear that rushed seasons are gonna be the norm, season 8 is dropping in february . capitalism ruins everything luv x

#making a separate post about the art for the sake of my own eyes...i really hate making long posts #love island the game #litg #litg season 7 #litg s7 #litg spoilers

[krystaldeath]

Cult of The Lamb hc’s (part of me feels like I should wait till I play the game myself - or watch a full playthrough at least - before I “solidify” these but meh. For now at least these are how I see things):

* Kinda typical hc I feel like but Leshy is the youngest, then it’s Heket, Narinder, Kallamar, and then Shamura is the oldest.

* Idk what their ages would be chronologically wise but my personal hc’s for “biological” age are: Leshy (21), Heket (25), Narinder (27), Kallamar (32), and Shamura (40). I think Lamb is about 200 years chronologically but 28 “biologically” (I think it’s funny if they’re “older” than Narinder)

* I don’t have a name for them yet but my version of the Yellow Cat is a little bit fucked up actually. Like they seem chill and they kinda are? But they’ve got a body count. And no not the sex kind. Think of that one audio where the guy answers the body count with 30 and when it’s clarified that it’s about sex he’s like “Oh well I haven’t done that yet!” And the other persons like “WHAT DOES 30 MEAN THEN???”

* I need y’all to know I project onto The Lamb HARD. So yeah, they always wanted to be kind and sorta made it a big part of their personality. Unfortunately their world and circumstances just doesn’t allow for their kindness. They still try to be as kind as they can be, but it’s hard when you’re slowly ascending to godhood, especially into the god of death.

* Also Agender Lamb. They/Them and ONLY They/Them Lamb all the way. Demi ro & sex & pan. They’re a?ab (assigned ??? At birth; bc I can’t decide but if you MUST know I think they can shapeshift a bit now so. Maybe they forgot themself lol). Presents androgynously, leaning either way whenever they feel like it. They have a more masc voice though I think, like the ones people use in comic dubs a lot.

* Once I figure out how to draw (could stop it there I am Rusty) anthropomorphic animals it’s over for y’all (Translation: I will draw my self insert and The Lamb being kinda fucked up Besties)

* ((PLEASE ASK ME ABOUT MY SELF INSERT AND OTHER OC INSERTS I HAVE FOR THIS THE BRAIN ROT IS SO REAL))

* The cotl fandom is filled with queer people who’ve got some level of religious trauma, let me recommend a recent song I’ve been looping and imagining a cotl/narilamb animatic to: Collared by Vane Lily (look it up on YouTube to watch the fun mv first!) WARNING IT IS HIGHLY SUGGESTIVE

* I’ve been flip flopping a bit on what species she’d be but I have ideas for a follower love interest for Heket! At first I thought a bunny, then a bee, and currently feeling like a bat would be cute. Idk but I do see her as a warrior type who also likes to bake and do cutesy things too

* I think once the bishops become followers their injuries are worse but they can still “work” around them: Leshy can kinda see things if they’re up close. Heket can sorta speak but not fast and she’s got. Well not a sore throat bc. She doesn’t have one of those anymore. But something akin to that constantly. Kallamar can only hear loud things or if someone spoke into his ear directly (he only allows those in his polycule and his siblings (minus Narinder) to get that close). Shamura does get a bit lost in their own mind, and even when they’re more conscious their memory is spotty.

* Back to my Yellow Cat being a bit fucked up: They actually really liked the idea of chaos (though they hardly show it) so when they find out Leshy was the bishop of chaos instead of being scared or unnerved they’re like “*twirls hair (fur??)* ha ha ha, omg, really~?”

* *slaps the top of The Lamb, Leshy, and probably so many others don’t underestimate me* these bitches can fit so much adhd (+ autism probably) in them

* Probably (geez I use that word a lot huh?) got more hc’s, especially for other characters, but this is already pretty long so I’ll leave it here for now

#cult of the lamb #cotl headcanons #I would tag as narilamb or leshycat but I mean… I didn’t really get into either of them in this lol #my posts #cotl oc #kinda??? I mention my self insert and such #to entice you to ask about them: They’re a blonde long furred cat that has an extra set of arms that are bat arms #wanna know why? ask :3c #please

[probablygoat]

Some Random 3:47 AM Thoughts

I've been playing and replaying Getting Over It With Bennett Foddy a ton recently. It's fun, genuinely. I enjoy its physics, its movement, the authentic feeling of improvement, and above all, I enjoy its philosophy and the things it has to say about the media we consume.

For a long time, I've gently prodded at my own means of media-related consumption. I love to branch out and have new experiences, but something that always gets in the way of me doing that (and probably always will) is the inevitable retread of an already-lived experience. Replaying favorite games, rewatching favorite movies and TV shows, listening to favorite albums and artists ad-nauseum until it's reached levels of proverbial insanity.

There's a personal sense of comfort that comes with the engagement of familiar settings and ideas, but I think there's more to it than that.

There's a quote from Getting Over It that I think about a lot since I first heard it: "For years now, people have been predicting that games would soon be made out of prefabricated objects, bought in a store and assembled into a world. And for the most part that hasn't happened, because the objects in the store are trash. I don't mean that they look bad or that they're badly made, although a lot of them are -- I mean that they're trash in the way that food becomes trash as soon as you put it in a sink. Things are made to be consumed and used in a certain context, and once the moment is gone, they transform into garbage."

Initially, this postulation read to me as something highly negative—pessimistic even. But the more I spin this idea in my mind, the more sense it makes, and the more I can relate it to my personal habits.

I massively enjoy replaying video games. But not all video games; certain ones that appeal to those fundamental aspects of myself that scream for and want and desire unforgettable experiences. Those experiences, for me, come in all forms: challenge, narrative, mechanics, depth, character, mood, ideas, atmosphere, variety, or a combination of these things or more.

"When games were new, they wanted a lot from you. Daunting you, taunting you, resetting and delaying you. Players played stoically. Now everyone's turned off by that. They want to burn through it quickly, a quick fix for the fickle, some tricks for the clicks of the feckless."

I've come to really appreciate video games that are built with this sort of replayability in mind. Games that dare you to improve after each playthrough, games that encourage you to keep coming back for an increasingly rewarding experience. Said experience can even change drastically, depending on the game. It can change for better or for worse, but through that encouragement they've made an active effort to avoid becoming trash.

I don't actually like using the word "trash" to describe media, but for the sake of categorizing my thoughts, I will. It doesn't mean that they look bad or that they're badly made, it means that they're trash in the same way food becomes trash as soon as you put it in the sink. If an experience you've had is amazing—and I mean honestly, truly amazing—then why only experience it once? I would even argue that the lack of a recurrent experience, in a lot of cases, narrowly misses the full and complete picture of what a lot of things have to offer.

If that call to action is ignored, it becomes trash. Disposable and light—like a wad of paper being thrown across the room. A thing that you did, and will likely not do again.

Of course, like any philosophy, I don't genuinely believe this can hold 100% true in every case. It's different for everyone. But I do think it opens up an interesting discussion. How much do you truly value each new experience you consume? Do you have the drive and the time to appreciate its every crevice, pore, wrinkle, crack, high, and low? It can be video games, music, TV shows, movies, anything. Chances are it comes down to either personal preference or circumstance, and that's definitely okay. Some don't have time, some don't have the patience, some just want to get their money's worth, others simply don't care one way or another. And that's perfectly fine, because this sort of cultural waste is inherently recyclable.

What I mean by this is: something may become trash to someone out there. It may even become trash to an incredibly large amount of people. But human beings, as a collective, love to preserve. We don't exactly have a 100% success rate with all of our preservation efforts, but the effort is always there nonetheless. A video game that very few play or talk about anymore could come coupled with pages of important resources for those who wish to experience it retroactively. To that person, in that exact moment, they likely don't see trash. They see a new experience. And under the right circumstances, this new experience could blossom into something special. It could lead to inspiration—new ideas being created and subsequently introduced into the world.

An experience like this can stem from just about anything. So, if you can, take the time to replay, re-listen, rewatch, whatever it is you do. You might be surprised how different a second experience can be from the first.

:)

#goat thought

[moophinz]

Y8 Thoughts I Guess 🤔

I keep pacing the kitchen while repeating the same things in my head over and over again so here is my thought vomit. Long vent post incoming

• Really concerned about how likely it is that we’ll only see the Jimas interact with Kiryu one or two times in a similar manner to 6. It’ll feel even worse this time for me considering Kiryu has cancer. It’ll also be a grievance for me given something I’ve complained about a lot. How weird they are about Kiryu and Majima’s relationship. It feels like ever since the ending of 3, they haven’t allowed them much of any interaction while simultaneously making a point that they’re close to each other even with the distance and it throws me for a loop every time. It’s made even more frustrating that their social medias have no problem posting about them (especially from Majima’s angle) as though they’re an actual ship. Plus, recently sharing blatant Kazumaji art on stream. If they keep doing that after this game I’m going to catapult myself to the sun. Obviously, I never expected the ship to actually happen. All I want is for their bizzaro relationship to have some sort of proper conclusion, but I have zero hope of that. It just makes no sense to keep making them out to be besties of some sort and then not allowing any follow through on that. Hell, they were weird in Ishin, too. It’s just SUCH a strange thing to do so often.

•At this point, it feels like the Jimas are only together because no one knows what else to do with them so they just end up together for years and years. My issue here is that it puts all of them on the back burner even though there’s still stuff missing about them. Like the biggest one being that we never get to see the real Daigo. They tell us about him a lot, but we never get to see him. RGGO of course bridges this gap. It’s just disappointing to know that’ll only ever exist there.

•If Mine is back (Yokoyama talked like the only thing stopping him from that was his voice actor), would he interact with Daigo? He was such a core part of his character, and it’d be interesting if they did see each other again. I would of course like it if Mine got to tell Daigo that he loved him straight to his face even though I’m more than certain they’d never do that.

•The Ichiban and Saeko proposal and all that still has me on edge. I do N O T know what all that’s about. Yokoyama claimed the game isn’t romantic, but he’s been on a kick lately with saying one thing and the exact opposite happening so I’m feeling pretty hesitant to believe him. I admittedly have a very hard time with media that contains a prominent pairing that I do not care about, but the plot keeps pushing in my face. Like with the second Kiryu saga game. To expand on Ichiban and Saeko, I mean that in 7, there’s nothing to show they have anything romantically going on despite the player’s ability to choose to date her or any other lady. I made sure to date nobody in my playthrough since I don’t care about that kind of stuff personally. They do, however, keep teasing Saeko and Nanba in a subtle way that really surprised me. I did find it interesting since visually they’re a really unexpected pairing and a possible romance that doesn’t involve the lead character seems pretty rare. RGG also typically isn’t that good at writing romantic notes so it was another surprise for me. All in all, this is just a personal issue I have pretty often with romance in media.

I know the game is still months away, and I’m not jumping to any conclusions. Just voicing a few concerns and one thing that’s sort of me hoping for something. It’s going to be a long wait to have all my questions answered 💀

#yakuza #ryu ga gotoku #like am I crazy for thinking Kiryu should interact just a little bit more with characters from his old saga #it’s also a frustrating ordeal that Majima gets crazy merch and Ugaki is around a lot #but then Majima’s appearances deminish so much it starts to feel like fan service when he does appear #im not asking for him to have a major big time role or anything like some people want #i might be a shipper but romantic media might be my least favorite thing ever #I don’t know if I missed something in the trailer or what but im still so cautious about that element in 8 #anyway I was also feeling hesitant about sharing this and will probably delete it later #just wanted to share a few of my thoughts #nothing to say about Gaiden #oh my god typing on mobile for too long is a disaster #the keyboard lags and disappears #repeatedly after a certain amount of time #this shit sucks #also I’m always hesitant to share ‘hot takes’ and the sort given the type of behavior I’ve received before in fandoms #these aren’t even remotely hot takes and just general thoughts but sometimes life makes you shut up

[eri-blogs-life]

The Souls Are Always Darkest

So since I have been on a FromSoft kick again (my gf and I started playing the Bloodborne board game, and that made me go back and finish Elden Ring), I decided I’d go back and replay some FromSoft games and write down some of my thoughts on them.

So, here’s my thoughts from this playthrough of Dark Souls

Obviously, generally speaking, the game’s a god-damn masterpiece. Amazing combat systems, tons of exploration and discovery, beautiful fantasy world to explore, and... there’s some kind of story there too. Something about killing Gwyn so you can become the new king or something? I don’t know. Story’s never been what I focus on in the Souls games

One of the first notes I have in my little notebook is “Poise. So nice. Also broken. Easy mode?” Which like... seems like a reasonable place to start. DS1 definitely makes the difference in light and heavy armor feel like it matters. I don’t know that I ever felt as much like it mattered in later games, but in DS1 wow what a difference light and heavy armor makes. Not just better armor reduction, but the ability to continue your own attacks or estus drinks while an enemy hits you if your poise is high enough. But you absolutely CAN’T dodge. It does actually make it feel like your choice in loadout matters.

Now, for what it’s worth, a person’s build is definitely going to impact their experience in a FromSoft game to some degree. I went with a “quality” build this time - close to evenly leveling vitality, endurance, resistance, strength, and dexterity. But the strength didn’t end up mattering a ton, cause the weapon I ended up maining was the Uchigatana. I got it early on and used it almost exclusively for most of the game. One hand was the Uchigatana, the other was a caestus I used for parrying, and it was excellent.

So, comparing the combat of DS1 to my recent experiences with, for example, Elden Ring, the combat feels so slow and deliberate. Like, in Elden Ring I felt like I was scrambling to dodge or attack or block or whatever. In Dark Souls I felt a lot more like I was in control. Attacks were slower for both sides, but that gives a little more time to process. At least, it feels that way to me. I’m not really sure if that’s actually true. That’s part of why I’m doing this series of FromSoft replays, so I can see if there really IS such a difference.

But also I might feel that difference because of what I was doing during my playthrough. Like I said, build might make a difference. In my Elden Ring playthrough I was a Faith-based character, casting a lot of spells and not being able to take many hits. But in Dark Souls, with my quality build, I was mostly parrying enemy attacks. Parries provide a nice opportunity to hit with a high-damage riposte and/or heal back up. It definitely gave me more of a sense that I was in control of each fight I was able to parry the enemies. Including the final boss. I got Gwyn in a parry-loop and killed him SO quickly and easily. Wow what a difference being good at parrying makes.

(not the best pic, but me just tanking one of Artorias’s hits while I hit him at the same time)

Let’s see. The world. Dark Souls certainly has a really cool world. The environments spread throughout are beautiful, from the dark forests to the huge castles to the towns to the lava ruins to the dark abysses where there’s nothing to see. However, the huge world also kind of sucks. Walking back and forth everywhere for everything feels bad. Sometimes.

The big interconnected world takes a long and annoying time to walk back and forth through every time you have to do that. But, finding shortcuts did make me feel very clever, which was much appreciated. I don’t know if that was worth the trade-off of the annoyingly long travel times for everything else all the time, but it did provide quite a nice feeling.

The bonfire placements, though... Dang, they suck. Like, they could certainly be worse, sure. But there are so many bosses that don’t have nearby bonfires so you have to walk all the way through a big long gauntlet of enemies, which slowly drain your resources before you even reach the boss. However, with bosses balanced around that being the case, it kind of works. Plus, it makes finding shortcuts or alternate paths even more enticing, as you might find a path that takes less of your estus in the run-up to each boss.

(these guys in lost izalith are such a cool weird lovecraftian monsters that don’t feel like they fit in but also they fit in so well with everything else in the world of Dark Souls)

And my final note: Bed of Chaos FUCKING SUCKS as a boss fight still. I hate it

------------------

Dark Souls is still one of the best games of all time. I don’t really even know what else to say. Unfortunately, it’ll be a bit before I can play through DS2 and write up my thoughts on it, but I will like to do that at some point. I always love returning to Dark Souls 2. It is, after all, one of my favorite games of all time.

#eri blogs games #dark souls

[dimiclaudeblaigan]

Hiiii, I just wanted to say Thank You, legitimately, for all of the very very good shinon posts you've made (you've hit the nail on the head why I like him so much as a character (also I'm playing through por for the first time and gd the growth in RD was so visible to me right away (for him and jill, but seeing soren act as he has legit surprised me and now i am going 'i can fix him' towards soren). Also! I am a big fan of Shinaff as well <3

Do you have any thoughts or posts on Zelgius, Tibarn, or Naesala? I'd love to hear more of your thoughts and with those 3 being....well, themselves, I'm very curious :3

THANK YOU FOR READING THEM ALL. Also THANK YOU for loving him!!! I'm so happy to know someone is seeing his growth from both games.

I actually recently met someone in another fandom who told me they've always been a Shinon fan and grew up around people who were also fans so they never even realized how hated he is in the fandom. I was like DAMN, wish I grew up with you guys lmao. It's so hard being a huge fan of him when people don't bother looking past a single trait, but will excuse it in Soren just because he's the resident gay twink (and idk that he's even gay more than just Ikeromantic LMAO).

I love Soren but he's arguably worse than Shinon in the bad habit department that everyone hates Shinon for, given that his reasons for being kinder to laguz is only for Ike and not for personal growth, whereas Shinon's growth is because he's realized he's been wrong and again, also why I argue his supports with Janaff are so incredibly important to him. It's like the mid development that's missable in a given playthrough, but so important as the bridge between games.

I know I had an ask once about Jeritza and Zelgius that I believe @reneethegreatandpowerful sent, but I can't find it now and I've had so many asks that wading through them, tags and all, was fruitless LOL. Otherwise I might have said some things about Naesala here and there, but not really Tibarn. When it comes to Tellius I don't talk much about the overly beloved characters because other people do it all the time anyway.

I do find both of them interesting in that Tibarn was pretty nasty originally, and when I recently replayed PoR I realized that nowadays, if I'd been playing for the first time, that I would have leaned more toward Naesala's arguments at the laguz gathering. I think because back then, my first time playing, I was basically just a kid (I mean this was in like 2005ish? I was very young) so I kind of was lured in with thinking Naesala was "bad" at first (I came around to him eventually, but little me didn't use her brain in video games as much as I would've liked her to when she was in grade school LOL).

That's a really generalized point overall, but mainly just to give you an idea that yeah, I think about them! I just don't write about them as much because Shinon needs the help more LMAO.

If you have any specific questions though I'm totally fine with answering them!

Also fuck yeah for the Shinaff fans. We are smol in number but we are powerful in brain. >:3

#DCB Ask #kanawolf #it's funny bc like I said before on this blog I'm in another fandom rn and yet #the second someone brings up Shinon you'd never even know I'm not FE brained rn #Tellius is like... I can always talk abt it bc it's just a part of my existence LOL #but Shinon forget it I can always talk abt him there's a reason I have a TCG of him on my WALL LMAO

[solottrpgchronicles]

1b. Have You Heard? - Dead Letter Society (Ava)

Toronto, Jan 12, 2024

Well, I finally put an end to my procrastination — I wrote a letter to that Emile, whose address was provided by the Dead Letter Society.

One ought to expect more enthusiasm on my part; after all, he might help with the pressing matter at hand, or even contribute to my primary objective, if I'm lucky.

Nevertheless, having wandered the Earth for so long, I find it difficult to feel hopeful. Though I am associated with the Dead Letter Society, it doesn't mean I automatically trust them.

Above all, I've been preoccupied with the recent events. I now believe that keeping my jewellery store at the Eaton Centre isn't the brightest idea. The seemingly arbitrary transformations of individuals usually happen in close proximity to shops; the transformation is immediately followed by a rampage, as if they're obeying clandestine instructions in search of a specific target.

One of the mutated beings struck me, last week. Fortunately, I managed to run before anyone noticed my lack of blood or the near-immediate healing of my grievous wound.

I'd rather continue my investigation, but remaining in that place poses a threat — if not to me personally, to our shared secret. It might be mere paranoia on my part, but I wonder if this could be an intricate scheme to unveil the existence of vampires. If so, what would the mastermind behind this plot stand to gain from this revelation?

Mr. Finch made an interesting observation, while we were reviewing information about the cases: all those affected had visited Algonquin Park within the past three months. Initially, I dismissed it, thinking it was common for Canadians, especially for residents of Ontario, to visit Algonquin sooner or later.

Also, what about foreigners? If something in Algonquin is triggering sudden mutations, why haven't there been reports of incidents abroad? Unless other countries are keeping them a secret, but that seems somewhat unlikely.

This whole situation doesn't make sense to me.

What's worse, Georgie from the diner has a brother who experienced a mutation. I promised her to do everything in my power to help; except, I don't even know where to start. It's incredibly frustrating.

I don't even know why I, a creature considered monstrous and essentially immortal, concern myself with the existence of other supernatural beings. Do I worry about potential competition? Or is there still a lingering trace of humanity within me, causing my heart to ache for the common people?

Maybe I'm just tired of losing everyone. I've faced a fraction of eternity in solitude already, and it's not an experience I'm eager to repeat.

Signing off,

Ava Bennett

--------------------

This is a playthrough of a solo TTRPG called "Dead Letter Society", by Rori Montford.

You can check it out on itch.io: https://montfordtales.itch.io/dead-letter-society

#indie ttrpg #itch.io #journal entry #journaling #playthrough #ttrpg #solo games #solo ttrpg #tabletop role playing game #tabletop roleplaying #dead letter society #dls #vampire #vampires #monsters #vampirism #letters #loss #canada #ontario #toronto

[frutiylaris]

Signalis. How and why?

I apologize for intruding on the signalis tag with my autistic love for this little game. It will most likely happen again. Signalis is just beautiful. I find it hard to enjoy most games that are released nowadays, be they indie, double-A or triple-A. I've become bitter about games and media and I'm only in my 20s.

So when my friend introduced me to Signalis thinking that I would enjoy it, I thought it would be another run-of-the-mill indie game about depression or some such nonsense. But then I played it... The first ending I got being the promise ending. Seeing Arianne and Elster embrace and just love each other made me weep. The sheer devotion this damned robotic woman had for her lover made me pause. And when I replayed it recently for my second playthrough just to make sure I didn't miss anything. I got the memory ending and my heart sank into sadness once again. I... I don't know how to describe my feelings towards the game. On one hand, I do not appreciate the heavy-handed foreshadowing, but at the same time a part of me now understands why it was done that way. Admittedly the moment I saw the King in Yellow and references to HP Lovecraft and cosmic horror my brain tipped me off on how it would end. I had a conception and then it was shattered and in its place a potted plant. A lily, covered in marble. Its blue veins still clearly visible. I want to understand Signalis. To comprehend that which I cannot, its an innate human urge to find some meaning, some purpose! But Signalis doesn't do that. Perhaps I became like Adler, once I understood what I was trapped within I so desperately wanted it to stop. To get out. To save the one I admired but in the end, I was twisted and left to a fate worse than death. I lost my purpose. And when Elster came by once more the events repeated themselves, no matter how much you try to reason and make arguments to one who is deeply in love. They will ignore it all. For it's not logic or thought that drives them, but love. That endless yearning for the one you know is gone, but yet you still chase after them. Even if you remember your promise. Forget it or whatever else. The cycle repeats itself. The world deteriorates more and more with each passing cycle until the rotted corpses arise from their graves and begin to roam the earth, unable to rest, to think, to feel. All being puppetted by something greater. I admittedly have not played the game a 3rd time since I wanted to get the artefact ending, but I just can't manifest the strength to do so right now. So I looked it up and... and it... I cried once more. I know what happens each and every time and that no matter what, it all ends the same. In tragedy. My second playthrough gave me a feeling of lucidity. Everything for but a brief moment connected together and I witnessed what lay before the black gate. And when I came back I couldn't tell anyone. I was paralysed with knowledge. Knowledge that I was never supposed to have. I traded in a part of myself unknowingly to even begin to comprehend what I had seen. And now that I am seated once more in reality, I fear speaking about it. About Signalis. Its beautiful. Its story is absolutely wonderful. Its gameplay whilst not groundbreaking is good, and the puzzles are a decent challenge. The music gave me a sense of primal fear and each moment I spent on Sierpenski and rotfront was unforgettable. I want this game to reach more people but at the same time, I fear it becoming popular. It feels so special, so unique that I want to hoard it away to myself. But that is selfish of me to do. I remembered my promise. I forgot my promise. I offered up something to the red eye and in return, it gave me one final dance to enjoy. The game about two space lesbians doomed to fail their mission made me feel genuine emotion. More than any other game has and I will forever cherish it. This forbidden tome of a love story. I have journeyed far into Silent hill and confronted my trauma. I have watched raccoon city burn and Umbrella fall. I witnessed Isaac clarke meet his final moments. I have gone to the depths of the Zone and seen the Wish granter. Signalis deserves a spot with all the greats. My only issue is its love of making a fair few too many homages. Thank you, if you read through all this babble.

From the Zone I came, to the Zone I return.

#imsohappyyetsosadthisgameisbeautiful #signalis #sorryforbeingautistic_aboutthe_spacelesbians

[unfortunately-i-exist]

This is totally random but for some reason it’s been weighing on me to share my thanks for Rick Riordan, Markiplier, and SHSLBlaze (originally a Danganronpa YouTuber, they do more diverse content now) mostly as well as Danganronpa in general and share the story of why I’m so grateful, because without those things I think I would have spiraled into a much, much worse mental state in the 8th grade.

At that point in my life, it was nearly the end of the school year, and I was questioning my sexual identity. As I learned that more and more of the people I had grown to care for over the years came to terms with their own sexualities and shared them with me, I decided to learn more and more about the LGBTQ community. I live in a very conservative Christian household, and I myself am definitely Christian, but I do not agree with my mom’s beliefs on homosexuality and the LGBTQ as a whole. My mom is a firm believer in “love the sinner, hate the sin”. (She has said to me multiple times “I’m friends with gay people!” And she doesn’t actively persecute them, but still. She talks bad about LGBTQ as a whole.)

As I was questioning myself, and unlearning my internalized homophobia (I was perfectly fine with others being LGBTQ but I felt that it would be taboo to be it myself), I had a conversation with a trusted lesbian friend of mine who was out. For the past two years since then, I have I believed that a teacher and close family friend of mine was the one who overheard and told my mom that I was talking about potentially being LGBTQ. I only recently found out that she did not, and instead there were rumors going around that I was Bi (I was questioning if I was, I now identify as Aroace [but I still adore the idea of romance and smut]). Another student’s mother told my mom about these rumors. Instead of coming to me gently and asking me about it, my mom took me aside in the car one day at my older brothers’ tennis match with my stepdad and proceeded to yell—maybe not yell, but in my house, a raised voice is yelling—at me to convince me that I wasn’t. Eventually I just relented and agreed that I wasn’t gay. (Her main point was the sexual attraction to girls part, which legitimately made me uncomfortable to think about, but when I actually thought about doing it with someone with male genitals I was also uncomfortable with the idea.) The next day, she made me text my two closest friends, who I was already starting to drift away from as my personality began to change and I began to have stronger hyperfixations on certain things, and break ties with them because they were both LGBTQ. After that, it was the same story with most of my friends. I was almost alone going in to high school.

I was already well into the Percy Jackson fandom and I’m pretty sure I had read all the way through Trials of Apollo by that point.

I had had some points of depression before, but a change began after those few days. I started searching and looking for any kind of escape from the world where I didn’t feel so alone. I wasn’t actually allowed to watch YouTube, but I needed some way to escape. I had heard of Markiplier and I knew he was famous, so I started checking out his content, and his demeanor and his love for his fans and content kept me from thinking too dark in those days. I was also searching for danganronpa content because I wanted to get to know that series because I had seen the anime and one youtuber’s playthrough of the games, but I needed to fill the void of content, and somehow I stumbled across one of SHSLBlaze’s Fangan reactions. I watched, and I was hooked. They were funny, and they always had this air of excitement around them. They made me smile when it felt too hard to do so.

So I wanted to thank these creators, even if they never see this, because I honestly might have been driven too far back then without them.

There are a million more things I feel like I want to say, but I’ll leave it at this:

Thank you. Thank you to the creators who didn’t know it, but kept a kid alive.

#rick riordan #markiplier #shslblaze #deep talks #mental health #childhood trauma #thank you

[roachleakage]

Spoilers for Dragon Quest Builders 2: the evolution of the Builder's facial expression

So, a lot of people in the fandom have pointed out that for a good chunk of Dragon Quest Builders 2, the Builder is described as having a "dopey smile". Which is very much true, characters comment on it all the time. But most of the posts I've seen on this say that the character loses their smile during the Moonbrooke arc, and based on my recent playthrough, it actually happens a bit sooner: on Skelcatraz Island.

Now, this isn't full on Sad Builder yet. That phase does in fact not start until Moonbrooke. But no one on Skelcatraz mentions the Builder smiling - rather, they describe the Builder's expression as, more or less, brainless. No thoughts head empty, but otherwise neutral. And while this could, out of context, just be the Skelcatraz guards being rude, it takes no time at all for someone in Moonbrooke to describe them the same way.

What this suggests is that, sometime between the end of Khrumbul-Dun and the start of their stay at Skelcatraz, Builder had already encountered something bad enough to make them stop smiling.

So what caused it? Well, let's look at the available evidence. This is the worst setback the Builder's had so far, but is that likely to be the reason? They've already made it through the Deitree being destroyed and rebuilt, which proves if nothing else that they have an irrationally deep wellspring of optimism when it comes to facing adversity. Could it be because their island recruits insisted on devoting the biggest plot of buildable land on the Isle of Awakening to a gigantic fuckoff pyramid? Probably not. That's just me who's cranky about that.

But let's take a look at what's been happening up to this point. First off, the Builder invited disaster to their island when they decided to let the Children of Hargon missionaries stick around. For the first time in the game's plotline, their friendly and optimistic nature made things unequivocally worse.

Another major cause of worry is all the headaches Malroth has been having, and the increasingly worrying statements he's been making about himself. While the Builder doesn't seem to know that Malroth has been hearing voices, they definitely would have noticed that his headaches have been getting worse. And while Malroth's most worrying comments don't come until after Skelcatraz, he's already said and done plenty of things to warrant concern - for his well-being if nothing else. And once they manage to escape from Skelcatraz, those symptoms, and with them Builder's cause to worry, only get worse.

So it seems to me that at least one of these reasons, if not both, is responsible for the loss of the Builder's smile. It's also making me think about what's going to happen in Moonbrooke (I got that spoiled for me ages ago, DW, it's cool), and whether these are really the actions of a Builder who mindlessly, cheerfully does whatever they're told, or if they're the actions of a Builder who has started to doubt themselves. Maybe they've started reconsidering whether trusting others without reservation is really the right thing to do; they're almost certainly worried about Malroth's sudden comments suggesting that he may be at risk of doing something terrible in the near future.

Obviously that's just my interpretation of what I've seen so far, and goodness knows I am nothing if not dedicated to reading ridiculous amounts of depth into things that were never meant to support it. But it's interesting to me, so I thought I'd throw it out there. And of course, we'll see how this all plays out in Moonbrooke.

#dragon quest builders 2 #dqb2 #dqb2 builder #spoilers #dqb2 spoilers

[thessalian]

Thess vs Things Left Unsaid

I started the day going, "This is a day in which I am going to do absolutely nothing, except put food in my face and maybe go to the corner shop for a treat".

Except asking me to do literally nothing is too hard an ask and while I have gone through a fair bit of Stray Gods Act 1, I ... kind of need something with combat. Except I also sort of don't because oh dear gods I hurt.

Anyway, not the point. This was actually just a quick one about the recent Video Game Awards, which have been yelled about a lot lately. Honestly, it's deserved yelling. Basically it's "They gave more time to reveals and trailers than they did to the people accepting these awards", to the point of flashing a WRAP IT UP sign on the teleprompter as the acceptance speech for Baldur's Gate 3's GotY award was getting to the part where they were thanking the cinematic animation lead who literally died not long after the game was released to such acclaim.

I get why, even if I don't agree with why. The people running this event wanted to avoid any "awkward" speeches - ones that might touch on ... for example, the situation in Gaza and how a ceasefire would be really nice, or the literal thousands of people that game publishers have laid off over the last year or so to inflate their profit margins, or the toxic work culture in those companies, and so on and so on. Awkward shit like that. Things that are really important to hear about and think about, but that video game publishers probably don't want people to think about, so they want to ensure that nothing gets in the way of "VIDEO GAMES YAY!"

However. Once again, I give props to Neil Newbon. YouTube actually happened to recommend a clip of his acceptance speech, and ... okay. Y'all know as how TEH GAMERZ have been bitching about Baldur's Gate 3. "Pronouns", and having to endure male characters making passes at their male OC. "The Woke", basically. Hell, it's got even worse since a) some modders on Nexus made a mod that turned Dame Aylin male (Ser Aylin - for real) specifically to "make the relationship with Isobel more in line with medievel norms", and b) Nexus Mods shutting that homophobic piece of shit mod down. TEH GAMERZ are shitting themselves, and I can only cheer.

Anyway, point is, at the point where they must have flashed their stupid "WRAP IT UP" sign, after he'd thanked people as best he could in the thirty seconds or so they gave him and the "get off the stage" music was starting, he leaned into the microphone and started talking about how people all over the internet had said they felt seen by this game, and how grateful he was that they did - that those people were seen, and how he was thankful that the people who needed to be seen got to feel that way. And honestly? I don't think it was just the LGBTQAI+ community that he was talking about. Because the man played Astarion. And whether your playthrough has him queer or not, and honestly, all things considered, I doubt you can make Astarion's story not-queer, given that I imagine Cazador ... erm 'enjoyed' his thralls ... honestly, that's the point. It wasn't just the queer community that would almost certainly feel seen by Baldur's Gate 3.

Two words: abuse survivors.

Astarion. Shadowheart. Karlach. Wyll to a point. Hell, technically Lae'zel. So many of the companions in Baldur's Gate 3 have been in some way abused and lied to by someone with power over them (twice in Karlach's case). And in this game, you not only see what it does to those characters but you can help. For those who are living through or even have just escaped from abuse ... they can be the protector that they wanted and needed, but maybe never had. They can see, at a remove, the strong temptation to become the abuser - or at least be like the abuser - because when you're abused, the idea is basically shoved in your face that the only way to be safe from abuse is to have the power your abuser has. Astarion's story in particular gives the option of a more healthy way to heal.

It was such an important thing to say, and Newbon did what he could to say it despite the organisers only wanting their winners to say the briefest of thank-yous before running off to leave more time for previews, trailers, and new release announcements. It was rushed, but he felt it was important enough to at least get out there, as a message, so he did what he could in the brief time he was allowed. I do very much appreciate that man.

In other news, I'm a bit of an idiot. I got to a point in Stray Gods where I was going, "Wait, I know that voice. Where do I know that voice from? Okay, here's IMDB ... I know that name. From somewhere big. Why do I know that name?" And it took a lot of scrolling to remember that Kimberly Brooks voiced Ashley Williams in Mass Effect. Then again, I admit that a) I haven't played ME1 in awhile because even in the LE, the UI is still a little iffy, and b) because of the logic my Shepards generally use, Ashley has never once been my VS. Not that I don't like the character; just ... the way shit pans out on Virmire, usually. Also c) I'm pretty shit at names anyway.

Right. Back to the vegetation. I'll probably throw on some trousers and go to the corner shop soon, and then I have an apparently easy recipe for gluten-free toad in the hole, and nice long hot bath later. Anything to get rid of the migraine, the aches, and this tic under my right eye that's been there for three straight days now and is driving me ever-so-slightly crazy. And then tomorrow, back to work, and wondering exactly what horrors the other staffers have left for me. Five hours, I worked last night and I still barely feel like I made a dent. Couldn't finish all of Friday's (partly because a lot of them were long and complicated, but mostly because there were a lot of them) and definitely couldn't touch any of the stuff done on Saturday and Sunday. At this rate, I'm going to be on overtime until the Christmas holidays. I just keep reminding myself that I did actually make a dent and it's not my fault that people just keep filling that dent up with more work. It helps. Not enough for me not to dread what the queue will look like tomorrow, but it helps.

#Thess plays video games #Thess has opinions #Thess has a day job

[brightside-brigade]

Hello everyone, today is the day I talk about Poppy Playtime. Now before we get started, I'd like to acknowledge that yes, this game has its problems. The head devs are indeed shady, it was indeed made as a corporate cash grab with purposefully marketable characters for merch sales. No, I do not agree with these things. However, I love the game regardless.

Instead of giving them money, however (barring the upcoming PJ Pugapillar plush because he is a need,) I watch many of my favorite YouTubers play through it. I avoid giving them my money and support my beloved content creators instead. Dawko, FusionZgamer, Marki, SuperHorrorBro, ect. Yes, I watch ALL of their playthroughs. I need to see everyone's different reactions, theories, ect. It is simply my favorite way to experience a game I cannot get for myself.

Speaking of the game, people often say it is a ripoff hybrid between FNaF and BATIM, two of my other favorite horror games, and yea. It kind of is. But I personally love it for that. It blends some of my favorite things from those two games in a way that still has its own style. I'm aware this is not the case, but the game feels hand-crafted for me and me alone, catered perfectly to my tastes and wants. Is it? No. But that's how I feel with the way it blends everything together.

Everything I love is in harmony. My favorite horror trope (one of them), is in fact the new genre of things for kids that have gone horribly wrong. The game also has heavy kidcore vibes, which I adore. However this is mixed with and offset by the liminality of the setting. It's so comforting but so off putting. Unlike other horror games in this genre, it does not shy away from gore. Now I'm a bit fucked up. I have a penchant for the stuff, and there's been a lacking of it in horror recently. This? All this? Good shit.

The games story, while being a tale as old as time by now, is played in a new way with new spins. The implications are simply horrific, and boy do I fucking love that. The recent trailer, showing a gas mask, has many possible explanations, each horrid and disgusting and wonderful. Human experimentation, while heavily explored in the horror genre as a whole, is another trope I love. The icky, tingly feeling it gives is thrilling and horrible all at once. And the fact that in this game the subjects were orphans makes it so much worse. Needless to say I need more.

The initial reason for the experiments is sympathetic, if theories are correct. Trying to bring back a loved one turning into a corrupt company doing godless acts to further their profits shows humanity in its purest greed, but also its softest adoration for those loved, the desire to keep them forever, holding them close, begging them no never ever leave. No matter the cost. Love is beautiful, love is horrifying.

Now, the character design, oh the character design. Yes, they were purposefully made to be marketable and appeal to younger audiences. However, in the context of the game, it makes sense. They are toys made to be cute and loveable. They'd need to be in order for sales to go through. Huggy Wuggy (scrungy bungy) for example has a simple design comprised of bright primary colors. He outwardly has no sharp edges, is soft in form, and designed with the comfort of a loving hug in mind. This greatly contrasts into the chase scene, when he shows his teeth. Sharp, uneven daggers set in a drooling maw made to rend flesh from bone in a single motion. His eyes now large and dark, shiny in the way of a rabid animal. And yet he hasn't changed much. Still soft. Still bright. Still... Huggy. The blood in his fall scene really drives home the point that something is so horribly wrong. So deliciously twisted.

The blood is an important point in the game as well. As I've stated. There's been a lack of it within this genre. This game, however, promises to be full of it. The way dried blood is caked around discarded, broken toys, the way it sprays from both Huggy and Mommy Long Legs and even the train at the end of chapter two, paints a horrible, visceral idea of the things that have happened there. The implications that the toys have working body systems. Organs. Nerves. And can feel everything. It's so uncanny, yet wonderful. Horrifically wonderful.

Game play wise, the game isn't overtly difficult. It's a simple puzzle game with mild action so far. Not uncommon. However, I do enjoy the games gimmick, the grabpack. It's a creative idea, and reminds me of 3DMG/ODM. But kidcore. It's slowly being expanded on and I'd love to see where it goes.

My favorite character designs so far have been CatBee, Candy Cat, and PJ. The kitties haven't had a chance at the spotlight yet. I wonder, will they be enemies or allies? I would love to see them twisted into something horrible. But at the same time, they could be, well, helpful and cute before ultimately meeting a horrific and bloody end like many before them have. The kind of game it is, nothing cute or good will stay. Such is life, an ever darkening spiral down of blood and viscera.

Chapter 3 drops next year, and the enemy is hinted at to be Bron, (Braun?). He, so far, is terrifying. He even hints at himself being the scariest dinosaur, in an incredibly chilling moment with simply a cardboard cut-out. Something about his beady eyes and emotionless smile haunt you to the core. And yet, his design is still soft and presentable.

Simply put, I cannot wait for the next part. I hope it gets worse/better. I want no holds barred.

TL;DR, I love.

#pearl posting #poppy playtime #Indie horror #indie horror game #huggy wuggy #mommy long legs #CatBee #Candy cat #Tw blood #tw human experimentation #Tw gore #Pearl starts sounding like Hannibal #Long post.

[everygame]

Bloodborne (PlayStation 4)

Developed/Published by: From Software / Sony Computer Entertainment Released: 24/03/2015 Completed: 05/05/2022 Completion: Finished all three endings and all of the optional content outside of chalice dungeons. Trophies / Achievements: 62%

I’ve done it. I’ve finally beaten a From Software game. I’m finally… le gamer.

It’s kind of funny, actually, how much I psyched myself out of playing a Soulsborne up to this point. I actually played the original Demon’s Souls all the way back when it came out, but I found the experience totally miserable. It felt like a game where I had to rely on exploits to progress, and it was at a point where I was plinking a boss to death with arrow damage from a doorway where they couldn’t reach me I thought “why am I playing this?” and stopped.

Of course, I no longer just “stop” and I feared going into Dark Souls or anything else, getting frustrated and bored, and still slugging through (or worse, just getting stymied completely.) With Elden Ring all the rage and my system of “don’t play the thing people are playing, play the thing you’ve got” I decided it was time to Bloodborne, and I’m seriously not joking that it took me a quick pep-talk to even boot it up. I literally considered making a new PS4 account to play it on so I wouldn’t have it shame me if I ever gave it up.

And you know what?

I hit the first “boss” and ragequit. Yeah, I literally ragequit at Cleric Beast. I yelled “fuck this”, exited the game and deleted it. I’m not joking! But after I cooled down I decided I wouldn’t let it beat me, waited for it to reinstall, and went again.

Now, I think a lot of people would think this is a good example of why Soulsborne games are cool; that they take you to the limit and you still come back for more. I’m going to respectfully disagree, because I actually think this is just symbolic of why the start of Bloodborne is crap. I think the in-game community-led hint system is good (often hilarious) but–to be honest–I think it’s a weakness just how much guidance I think you need to actually settle in to and enjoy Bloodborne. Here, after hitting my head against Cleric Beast fruitlessly and refusing to give up (and therefore likely lose my hard-won souls/blood echoes) I looked it up, realised I could simply avoid him, go into the sewers, find a specific item that would “unlock” levelling up, and then just go from there.

I’m sure Hidetaka Miyazaki has this incredible reason why you can’t level up until you’ve either seen a boss or collected an item, but… uh, I’m not seeing it, especially considering there's already an unavoidable death to introduce you to the systems anyway. Once I was able to start levelling up my character I lost my feeling of total helplessness and was actually able to progress. So if I was to give a bit of advice to anyone playing Bloodborne, it’d be to get into the sewers asap, grab the madmans knowledge and the armor you find there. Once you’ve done that you’re golden (you'll never even need to change armor, to be honest.)

Anyway. Here’s something I’ll completely praise: I think the level design at the macro level is tip-top. The world loops absolutely intelligently, with you constantly opening new shortcuts that make you always feel like you’re progressing well and not too far from safety (or from getting your blood echoes back). It made my decision to progress into the sewers rather than going back to cleric beast make a ton of sense, and to be honest I can’t even remember when it was I went back to beat him–it was at some point in the Cathedral Ward, I guess, when I walked back and face-tanked him. I was almost surprised.

I recently(-ish) saw someone call the Soulsborne games “paper tigers” and I have to admit that at least with Bloodborne the description is true. They have such a reputation, and Bloodborne has such a pointlessly uninviting opening, that they freak you out, but then when you play them you realise that (at least in the first playthrough) if you just keep pace with leveling up nothing is really that hard as long as you’re willing to accept dying once, twice or thrice. You can actually heal so quickly (with 20 heal potions on hand) that if you can play carefully enough and have enough vitality to not get one-shot or stun-locked by anyone, it’s almost like having a huge health pool. I suppose there’s also the level design on the micro-level that you have to keep in mind. I’m not a huge fan of it, but basically every single encounter is a variation of “there’s an enemy behind you that will hit you.” Walk into a room where there’s a treasure? They’re behind you to the right or the left, hope you guess right or move quickly enough. Walk into a room with an enemy? There’s another one behind you to your right or left. Too bad!

This happens so much it becomes seriously boring, to be honest. Even for a game like Bloodborne, where the emphasis is on attacking, not defense, you play the game at a crawl, checking every hint that's been left in front off doorways, etc.

I suppose the thing is, or what it really comes down to, is really how much you enjoy the peril of “what if I lose what I’ve won so far?” be that the blood echoes you’ve built up or the time you’ve spent to get that far. I have to be honest, that even if there were battles and moments where that fear led to pure adrenaline, it’s simply not a kind of adrenaline that I enjoy. I’d actually consider it kind of negative; I’m not sure if I can phrase it correctly, but there’s a difference for me from the adrenaline of “I can win!” versus that of “I might lose!”. In Bloodborne, huge health pool or not, there’s still enough situations where you just sort of auto-lose that it can be quite a turn off (getting stun-locked against a wall can fuck off, for example.)

To be honest, the “back to get your blood echoes” trek, as much as it is made more convenient here, just isn’t something I find interesting. I noticed I’d enjoy the game more, if anything, if after every death I just woke up at a lamp still with all my echoes, because being able to take the journey back potentially levelled up a bit more actually seems more rewarding. But what do I know? Maybe these are games for masochists.

(I’m actually really interested, though, how much the Soulsborne games are tuned to players losing some percentage of echoes. 30%, perhaps? Or maybe they don’t tune to that at all. Because I lost only a handful of blood echoes across the game and was pretty overleveled by the end, I’d say, so I wonder.)

Anyway, that all said, I did actually enjoy Bloodborne. That level design and sense of progress it engenders–along with a leveling up system that’s simple, but rewarding–had me rolling through the game, and the fact that very few bosses actually present much of a challenge made a lot of it smooth like butter (and yet every time I went in expecting another Cleric Beast situation..) I did all the optional content (gotta get those levels!) but it did, in the end, make the game start to outstay its welcome, and I definitely can’t imagine doing all the extra dungeons and definitely not any of the DLC. 

I think ultimately I’m… glad I played it?

Will I ever play it again? That said though, I’m interested in the fact that I don’t actually feel any particular urge to play any other From Software game. I’m just not much of a dark fantasy guy.

Final Thought: I suppose I’m intrigued by Seikro, because it sounds like that one is designed so you simply can’t out-level enemies and tank them, and must instead engage with the game systems, but if that one is a real tiger I’ve got no interest in being bitten.

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#video games #games #gaming #ps4 #playstation 4 #from software #bloodborne #soulsborne #sony computer entertainment #text #txt #review #2015

[devinkrispy]

April 8th, the rain isn’t letting up, everyone is trapped in.

As I let this soothing song play in my ears it brings memories back to when I first heard it, my first playthrough in P5, it also brought back specific memories I had to the original thoughts to when I first made my channel, or any online presence for that matter. I simply wanted a community for people who were just as chronically online as I was. However looking back I searched the wrong areas.

As glad as I am now, I do wonder what would it be like if I Decided to just dive into the deep web of places like 4 Chan, or niche communities of tumblr.

Community is all I wanted, as of now I can say I have mine now. But the methods of getting here. Were they worth it? Was it worth going through the hell that was shokus, witnessing the hell of troupe, just for internet lore?

That’s all it is at the end of the day technically, if you turn your devices off and act like none of it happened you wouldn’t be technically wrong.

Shit Let’s take the one who shall not be named for example, they left and acted like we didn’t exist (at least I assume) then Beni followed shortly after.

That makes you think of what you could really do with your online persona. Which in itself is a weird concept. How does one make a persona strictly for the online space? How does one separate it from their IRL counterpart without any tension or trouble? Wouldn’t time be a significant factor here?

Then that makes me think of what could happen when I get my own crib, I’ll get the prolonged alone time I oh so yearn. But what’s to say I won’t fall back into the old habits that I did when I was chronically online?

Would I be wrong for being chronically online again? Would I be wrong to be less online? Does it really matter, does anything matter for that matter? Even when you think of everything going on at this exact moment would it even fucking matter?

What would everyone do if the earth explodes in 24 hours? Probably mayhem. But say that didn’t happen, how would everyone feel about their life?

If you 🫵🏾 were to be told your life ends in 24 hours would you be happy?

And if you say no, why? Is it something you can fix? If not why dwell on it? If you can fix it? What’s stopping you? Nothing.

Nothing stopped Beni and them from leaving, Nothing is stopping me from moving out,

Nothing is stopping you from transitioning in any stage of life, why are we as humans so afraid of change when we so desperately need it sometimes?

Of course this applies to me too. But then again who wouldn’t it apply to? Every second I’m awake I’m dedicated my life to change. I don’t care in what form or what way, weather I am changing my ideals, my clothes, my body, my life, my bank, it doesn’t matter what it is, I can no longer stay stagnant, nothing changes if nothing changes. So personally my mask needs to be taken off itself. I can no longer sit here and expect another life changing event to walk in my life like it’s been doing all my life ESPECIALLY since I am an adult now. I have to make change if I want change for the better or worse. I’m embracing the Bad now. I love it, confusing time in identity, that’s great that means something is changing. Financial struggles? That means something changing, friends leaving me? People I was close with not fucking with me? My favorite foods not hitting no more? My gaming hours go down? It all boils down to change and I need to stop resisting it. The only way to do so is to go about life and shut up. Whenever God, the universe, whatever you wanna call it is speaking I should listen. And that’s what I’ve been doing. My outlook on life has been changing recently. Way more than I originally expected, I’m way less strict about everything now. I don’t care what I’m doing in 10 years. What am I doing now ? I woke up, what am I doing with my life currently? I go to school, work, and I come home to game. Rinse and repeat, I’m not living IM just existing.

AND I REFUSE to simply exist when I can experience life and all it has out for me. What would be the point if I couldn’t go out and live my life the way I wanted to. Because at the end of the day we are shapeshifters too. It’s just not physical. We change so much as living beings that there’s no way we can be the same people for our entire lifetime, we probably live 7 lifetimes over, do you know how much can happen in 10 years, 5years, 1 year, 6 months? 2 weeks? Shit nigga A FUCKING DAY????! We have to be more aware of this ! They try to make us Goal driven, which don’t get me wrong is great! But we’re thinking of it all wrong! People think of goals as accomplishments when we should plan our goals based off experiences! My goal is to be a father and a wonderful teacher to three beautiful children so they can also experience life and spread knowledge.

That’s what it’s all about, experiencing life so you have a story to tell.

We are always caught up on what other people’s story is, what they are gonna do, what’s your story?

In story writing they have a term for when the character goes through a journey that teaches them a lesson, they call it an Arc,

What’s your Arc?

#vent

[rjmhereunderprotest]

There's No Power Greater than X: Rebuilding My Xbox Library

This wasn't the post I intended to come back with, but it's a recent enough experience of my that I felt like documenting. I'm still working on something else that's more substantial but I just feel like talking about this.

Recently, I've been trying to write more Text Let's Plays as a means of keeping myself writing, creatively active and enabling to use my love of gaming to do so. I'd be remiss if I also didn't say I was inspired by a good friend of mine who writes hilarious recreations of his playthroughs. Mostly horror games, he subjects himself to that a lot.

I decided to do the same and my latest choice was to return to my golden age of console game playing. Namely the Original Xbox where I started more regularly playing video games and buying them outright. The reason was simple enough, I played "Halo: Combat Evolved" and I've gotten every Xbox ever since. I've wanted an excuse to revisit the console and this was it. I thought it would be a simple enough process, but it turned out to be... much more complicated.

So this is my short, as possible, look into what started as wanting to replay an old game I loved and share it with my friends online, into a sudden nostalgia trip that reconnected me with some old gaming memories and a desire to rebuild what was once forgotten, my Original Xbox Library.

Dragoons Improvise

I think it's best to start with what game I chose to highlight for the Text LP that started all this, MechAssault.

One year post its launch, Xbox got an upgrade, Xbox Live which would change online gaming forever, for better and... well, a lot of worse if the screaming racist Twelve-Year-Olds on "Call Of Duty" are any indication. MechAssault was among the first games to be heavily advertised as compatible with the service.

I've never cared about multiplayer to any major extent. I don't have good experience playing with complete strangers online. I'm just not good with social interaction in general and competitive play brings out the worst in me. So, it's just never been something I've been able to stick with. MechAssault appealed to me for only one reason, giant freaking robots! I was casually aware of the BattleTech universe but it was so impenetrable on PC, MechAssault promised an easier way to play around in these cool walking tanks and I had a lot of fun with the game when it first came out.

My choice to play MechAssault for the text Let's Play was easy enough on this grounds, I could even do its sequel right after. But I quickly ran into some complications. First and foremost, I can't play MechAssault on any modern console.

Here's the rub, MechAssault was successful in pushing units, and so was its sequel to a moderate degree, but not enough to continue the franchise. Despite owning the IP and studio in charge of it, Microsoft never released a third game in the MechAssault series for consoles or PC. And even though the game was an Xbox Exclusive, its never been made backwards compatible. Its sequel is, but only for the Xbox 360. So even that has complications.

For some people this is a problem, because they probably chucked the old Xbox out the door a long time ago. Not me, I've of course kept mine. Well, I've kept the replacement I got when the original Xbox we got suffered some sort of power surge that caused its output port for the power cable to melt. After that, the thing just never worked again and any attempt to turn it on makes it start smelling of burning rubber and plastic. Not ideal. Suffice to say, I'm glad I still have the replacement Xbox that has held up much better over the years.

So I have the console I need to play MechAssault, what I don't have is a TV that's really compatible with it. The Original Xbox uses a different AV Input than most modern TVs, known as a composite, something that took me a lot of time to figure out actually. It's entirely different from Component wires and of substantially lower quality.

Here's where the real problem kicks in. While I CAN make the Xbox's composite cords work on a modern Flatscreen, as all I need to do is plug the yellow input into the green component output, that forces me to unplug the Xbox 360's component cords. Which is a pain in the ass to do for my TV, not to mention awkward. I attempted to see if I could finagle things a little. I got myself a composite cord switch box, thinking I could make the issue less of a hassle and maybe even re-hook up my old Playstation 2 console in the process, since it also has a composite cord.

Yeah that didn't work, the switch box is fine... but it doesn't read being plugged into the the green component output so great. There's also another problem associated with the composite cord in general, it needed to be reset constantly. For whatever reason, it doesn't seem to be able to properly register that the green component output is compatible with the yellow composite input. It goes to a blue screen as if the connection has been lost. Replugging it in returns the video, but again, this is a hassle I don't care to deal with constantly.

However, I can at least play the Original Xbox Console so I can still do the Text LP while I wait to figure out a solution to these problems, right? All I had to do was put the MechAssault Game Disc in when I was ready to start my Text LP and we'd be off to the races. Now I hadn't played MechAssault during the time I was waiting because I wanted to come back into the game with fresh eyes, no prior playthrough, no figuring out the controls again, just as blind as I can make it. Surely this is not a recipe for disaster!

The game won't start. It will not start. I can put it in a dozen different times, close and reclose the disc tray, clean the thing off so there is no fingerprints or whatever. The disc will not play. I try out several other games at this point, concerned this is a console problem. Nope, they all work. They more often than not require me to pull the damn Yellow Video cord out and place back in, but the games all work! After a lot of trial and error and consulting threads online, almost ripping open the old Xbox and even contemplating getting a new one, I come to the very simple obvious conclusion. It's the MechAssault disc! It's borked! Something is wrong with it!

The nearest I can tell, upon closer examination, the inner part of the disc, near the hole, has some damage on it. Damage that is not consistent with other games in my collection. It's been scratched off or something. At some point the game was damaged to an irreparable degree. It can't be played because it can't be read. You cannot believe how absolutely devastating this was.

So where do I go from here? Simple, I take advice from one of the Characters of the MechAssault game itself though. Because the game opens with you crash landing, losing a ton of your mechs and being stuck behind enemy lines with no back up, the first thing your commanding officer tells you is to suck it up, "Dragoons Improvise." And that's what I decide to do.

I find out there is a way to upgrade your Original Xbox, and even your Playstation 2, to Component Compatible cables. You can also make both consoles and the Xbox 360 HD Port compatible, but those ports are being used by other consoles right now so, that's not a viable option at the moment. The point is, I can make all three of these older consoles work with my flatscreen. All I need to do is get some compatible cables for them and I find plenty online for decent prices.

The next step is a decent switch box, and thankfully there are a ton I can use. I'm hopeful it will be more successful this go around at least, the last time I tried something like this the HDMI switcher wasn't compatible with either of my Nintendo Mini Consoles. This one is more analog though and its dealing with component cables, so no digital screw ups. It's also a bit more high end than that one was, so I was more confident it would work especially after checking reviews for the thing.

I pass the time waiting for the items to arrive playing the one Xbox Game that doesn't seem to be affected by the blue screen issue that requires me to unplug and replug the Yellow Video Input from the green component outlet.

"Heroes of the Pacific" is one of many World War 2 Air Combat games that exist in the ether. It is... average in many respects. It hosts a decent list of planes, but its mechanics aren't the best and frankly "Secret Weapons Over Normandy", which released two years prior, is superior to it in everyway. From the gaming mechanics, the upgrade system for the planes, the plethora of aircraft you can pick and especially the voice acting. HotP has some of the most phoned in voice acting ever, let me tell you. But its at least functional and I managed to beat all of its levels on the highest difficulty setting while playing the thing again. So I feel like I've more than proven my capability in powering through a frankly just okay by even its era's standards.

Once my items arrived, I hooked everything up, switching out cords and fixing up the various systems, a lot of tedious stuff frankly. The end result was excellent though. The switch box worked perfectly. No blue screen when starting up games, no black and white picture, no loss of sound, all the problems I encountered just trying to get the various wires and outputs to work with each other were gone. And now, all my older consoles were hooked up to the same component connection. Everything seemed good to go.

I am now only waiting on one thing, my replacement copy of MechAssault. Which is not as hard to come across as I fear it will be. Sure, it's not on Amazon at a decent price or at all like I hoped... but it is on EBay, in a Platinum case in fact. I'm wary though, I haven't used EBay in a long time. I tried selling stuff there and rarely got any takers. And you're mostly dealing with third party people miles away and not directly with the company itself. It can be a crapshoot. However, I have little choice.

The MechAssault game does arrive though, a little later than I hoped it would, but it does show up and it does work, confirming that my console wasn't at fault. However, this experience sorta sparked something in my mind. I replaced my damaged copy of a game I loved relatively easily and for less than what most games cost today. And in the time waiting for the new copy to come, I was looking more and more into the Original Xbox's library, remembering a bunch of games I had used to play but only ever rented, if at all.

And I thought to myself, why don't I have these games? A lot of them I either enjoyed or were up my alley! Was I still so caught up on renting back in the day I didn't consider just... owning the damn thing?

It wouldn't be the first time I bought an older game for the Original Xbox online long after they stopped making them. In response to my revulsion at what had been done to the Wolfenstein games by Bethesda, destroying the lore of the series and ruining the character of the greatest Nazi-Killing Hero that ever lived, BJ Blakowicz, I had wanted to replay my favorite game of the series, Return to Castle Wolfenstein. But my desktop had given up the ghost and and my laptop is not suitable for gaming off of steam. So I looked to find the console port of the same game and realized it worked on the Xbox 360! Awesome! I could play my favorite game again!

I never considered I could probably find more old games that I loved. I had recently gotten "The Simpsons Game" for the Xbox 360 on Amazon, but the prices on EBay tend to be little less harmful to my wallet. So... why not fill out my library a little while I'm at all this? Watching a bunch of old commercials for the Xbox's life cycle of games sorta convinced me to at least give it a shot. So I started to assemble a list of games I was interested in reconnecting with. A project I called "Rebuilding the Library" concerning all the old games that I felt were missing.

Target Rich Environment

The thing about EBay is that you can find almost anything you want... and that's the problem sometimes. You really have to sort out which things are worth going after in the end and which, honestly are just wastes of your time. Not to mention some thing might not be what you're after and you should really pay attention to what the descriptions and titles say.

Let's just say that a lot of people were selling game cases without the games inside them. Or they were just selling manuals, or they were just selling the game sans all of that. You'd think that last one means you're getting a bargain, nope. Sometimes they can cost just as much as a complete in box entry, at least when you factor in shipping.

That's also what kept me off EBay so much. The sellers can sometimes SEEM like they're giving you a great deal, but their shipping costs can run into insane amounts. I find it hard to believe at times that shipping can honestly cost more than the game you're shipping itself.

Let's be fair, a lot of these people aren't Amazon, they don't have the option to ship for low prices and still make a profit. I just sometimes wonder about the justification for the shipping prices at times. Especially if they offer little benefits for how much they're asking.

Which, I sometimes ended up ignoring through my own ignorance which might have made some of these headaches a little less of one. A number of the sellers offer tracking for your items if you pay more in shipping. I did not see this on my first go around with a lot of these. So I was kinda left in the lurch for a number of them just hoping they'd show up. Most of them did. I probably could've avoided one of problems I encountered had I been more thoughtful about tracking.

I don't think I would've paid more for tracking for most of the items in the end though. I might have just decided to go to Amazon if that was the case as they tend to provide tracking when one of the third-party sellers leaves the shipping up to one of their resource centers. EBay is for when you're trying to get a decent enough bargain after all. That's the whole point of the auction system, which I wasn't using for this to be clear.

I decided early on to not get anything outside of Canada if I could help it. By the end of things I think I ordered something every single province. So I can definitively say my collection is the accumulation of every corner of the Great White North.

However, I quickly decided to be picky about which games I ultimately got. There were some I intended to get from the outset, but others I eventually decided weren't worth the expenditure. These usually fell into a few categories that got them excluded.

First: Too Expensive, at least two of these games were simply asking too much even for me and I found them ultimately in a cheap capacity on steam. As much as I would've wanted to have "Call of Cthulhu: Dark Corners of the Earth" on Xbox, I was able to get it for dirt cheap on steam and it probably works better there anyway. The other is... well it's a bit more adult I think and I don't think I just want that hanging out in the open. Besides the PC version isn't censored.

Second: I already have it on Playstation 2, this is redundant. That's what got Scarface kicked off the list. While I was okay with getting a game I already had on the computer, getting it for a console that, as I explained, I now had access to again as a result of my other purchases, seemed completely pointless. The same was true of another game that I do have for the PC that is simply not good enough on the console anyway.

Third: They're just not well reviewed or interesting. That's what got Predator: Concrete Jungle kicked at least. As much as I love the idea of playing the Predator in any aspect, I remembered too much of not being impressed with the game to buy into it this go around. It also was too expensive. Shadow Ops: Red Mercury just ended up feeling too mediocre to bother with.

Fourth: It belonged to a Genre I wasn't into. Every sport game got knocked off the list more or less as a result. Even the iconic DOA Volleyball game. If I want softcore porn of those characters, I have the internet. I can get that for free.

Fifth: They're available on Xbox's digital store front and there's no sense in wasting money on something I can probably get for cheap and with easier access to later one.

In the end I was looking mainly for inexpensive titles that were iconic, had cult acclaim, I had played before but did not own or at least seemed interesting to me regardless of anything else. Now there was an ultimate to exception to this basic rule of thumb concerning price, but that was only because it was apparent after a while I had no choice. A few of them also came from Amazon when I found them at a more affordable price.

In any case, with my reasoning for what didn't end up in getting picked up I think it's time to get to the point of all this. Keep in mind, a lot of these are of the shooter variety, but they're not all the as atypical as you might think. And even still, I like to think I got a wide range of titles all the same. So let us take a look.

The Haul

Yeah, it's a fair amount. 27 titles, maybe that sounds like a lot, but I got some of these for a bit of a steal honestly. A good number of these have always been on my radar in one form or another. It's just I finally got around to reacquiring them. If you want call some of these impulse buys, I won't dispute it, but they are more or less games I felt I missed or had missed out on. Each of them is a little piece of the history of the Xbox and Gaming overall. So, let's look over them in no particular order.

"Whacked!" was one of two games on my list from the start. One of the first games Xbox used to promote the Live Service. A party game centered around a twisted cartoon world's game show with contestants who centered their personalities around the seven deadly sins. The game is probably most known for Lucy, the lovely lady in blue on the cover who runs around most of the game naked save for censorship bars over her private bits. Yeah she's not in that outfit you see for very long.

Oddly enough though I didn't pick her as my main, my favorite character is a little off to her lower right, Eugene, the green penguin/duck with the goggles and trapper hat. He's a Canadian, he's my favorite color and he's a total nerd. It's like he was made for me. He also represents the Sin of Envy, constantly coveting what others have and secretly hating those who belittle him. Hmm, perhaps I should reconsider why I feel he's so relatable then.

As you can see in this audition tape that doubled as one of the game's trailers, this game relies heavily on madcap Looney Tunes humor. It's emphasized in a ton of the commercials that would play between rounds of the game show as well as other cutscenes where the characters interact. Whacked!'s gameplay isn't terrible though, it's rather varied from simple death matches to collecting stars, king of the hill and even dodgeball. However, it wasn't well advertised. I only probably ran into it because stuff like this was what I was drawn to. The concept of a Looney Tunes-like world that was centered towards older audiences just intrigued me... oh yeah and Lucy was hot so that's probably what got me to at least rent it out. But I actually enjoyed the humor and the game enough to keep playing it back in the day. It's still popular enough in some circles and it's even backwards compatible with the 360, but it's still a cult hit.

This was the second game that got on my radar. Bloodwake is boat combat based action title. Similar to something like Twisted Metal, but on the water and there's a more involved storyline besides a demolition derby of death. You play as a pirate in a South China Sea-like setting where you are trying to get revenge on the man who sunk your previous ship. No spoilers, but it's your brother because that's how these games go. I played this way back in the day as it was part of the second wave of titles released post the Xbox's launch. It was different and fun to play. I guess it just didn't get the numbers needed for a sequel, if any were planned. But the game showed the power of the Xbox for the time as its water effects were a standout in the graphical department. I got this because it was one of the best early experiences I had with the Xbox that wasn't centered around Halo.

It's a racing game, I'm not big on racing games. I didn't get it for the cars. Hell I didn't even really want this game in general. But I had no choice. I had to get this game in order to buy...

Jet Set Radio Future, in a era where Skateboarding was king on video game consoles, this game dared to focus on rollerblading... and graffiti... and jamming tunes! While I am not the best at extreme sports games, I had enough good memories of briefly playing the demo and a big enough desire to own this damn thing at last that I decided to finally fork in. I would've gotten it on Xbox 360's marketplace... if it hadn't technically been delisted from there. Actually, I think it was the original title anyway, not this game which is its sequel. So... yeah, it is what it is. Hopefully this game isn't too different from some other extreme sports games I played back in the day, but at least now I own it so if the itch to commit vandalism against corporate cops and their tanks hits me, it's right there.

Grand Theft Auto's original console outings always had a problem for me in one area, targeting. I could never make its lock-on system feel comfortable back in the day. When IV came out with a more traditional aiming system, it was far easier to get into. I think, however, I will be able to better adjust this go around. The real reason I got this double pack though is simple enough. Yes, I could get the remaster. Yes they've probably fixed it since its terrible launch. I don't care though, they took out some songs and I want the full V-Rock list when I'm riding around Vice City, plain and simple. Of course this brings us to a bit of a detour.

Well I can't just get these two games and not pick up San Andreas! That makes no sense. I could've gotten the Original Xbox version as well and even played it on my Xbox One. But it just would've downloaded the 360 version anyway from what I hear. So, this is cutting out the middle man in my eyes. Either way, no cuts to the radio's choice of songs. That's alright with me.

These two are the most expensive games on the list by far. Godzilla's fighting games were some of the best kaiju brawling one could find on any console. Destroy All Monsters Melee actually is from the states as I could not find it being sold in Canada anywhere. This thing is just that expensive and that coveted. The box is damaged so that's probably why they cut down the price just a little. As a major Godzilla fan, I was determined to finally own these and given I was already spending a good deal by this point, I just stopped caring and gave in. Whatever. I can finally beat down Gigan as Rodan, that's a win in my book.

By the by, did you know that ATARI logo is sort of a lie? Infrogrames bought the Atari license back in the day. Then they changed their name to Atari! They're still in business today even. But these games have been out of print forever, explaining their high price tag. There's just not many people willing to sell them at this point.

I probably could've gotten the sorta remake/sequel for the 360, two games for the price of one, but everyone only cares about Butcher Bay anyway. Starring Vin Diesel himself as everyone's favorite see in the dark career criminal, Riddick has to escape the absolute worst prison in existence. Playing this game was an experience back in the day in brutality. First person melee fighting is always tricky to pull off, but this game accomplished it. It also helped that it was fairly competent stealth game. I just generally like sneaking up on people neck snap them.

My connection with the game runs deeper than my initial playthrough. You see, the people who made Butcher Bay, some of them went on to found another studio entirely. The studio that made the terrible Wolfenstein reboots. In fact, I recognized their handiwork in the Concentration Camp level. To the point I felt like the game was less Wolfenstein and more just a reskin of this game. Down to the overly flowerly in-game narration. Which is fine for Riddick, just not for Blazkowicz. I think that's why I got the game, to remind myself of when I didn't have bad memories of this sort of playstyle.

I have a lot of 007 games. I just really like me some fun spy action and no one does it better than Bond in my opinion. From Russia With Love was the game that harkened back to classic era of the franchise, with Sean Connery himself! The game even has a jetpack to fly around in! None of the newer games gave you a jetpack! This one had been in my Amazon Wishlist for a while, I just finally decided I had an excuse to get it.

Another Rockstar game, but based on a cult classic film this time. I could've sworn I had this for the Playstation, but it's not on there in any of my memory cards. I might have deleted it or maybe I only ever rented it. I don't know, I could just be mistaken. This one caused me some trouble getting though. The first buyer from Amazon gave me the entirely wrong game! I had to return it to get my money back, which was a pain in the ass to do because of a garbage ass courier service. However, I think it worked it out. This copy came from a nice person off EBay who was trying to pay off some vet bills. That kinda made me happy to know I had helped someone out in the end.

I have the Evil Dead game for modern consoles, but I've always wanted/preferred the single player experience. These two games are highly different from each other in play style, but all I knew was that I wanted to finally play as Ash and kill Deadites without having to do it with other people. As a major fan of the Evil Dead franchise, I couldn't ignore these titles anymore than the Godzilla ones at the end of the day.

This was Free Radical's other less successful game IP besides Timesplitters. Second Sight had you play as amnesiac who wakes up in a research center of some kind with a lot of people want to kill him and psychic powers as his only real defense. It's not their typical run and gun shooter you expect from Free Radical, it's certainly more original. Sadly the game didn't sell well, shame too. You know there was a short period of time when psychic powers were all the rage in gaming mechanics. It looked like it would be the next big thing too.

Now this was a creepy as hell game. You play as a prisoner on death row who unfortunately arrives on the day a hellmouth just opens up under the prison. There's all these crazy cool monsters that are based off of various executions and ways people can die in prison. And there's a morality system that determines what ending you get that reveals how guilty you actually are. It was an awesomely scary game and I'm glad to own it again.

I have a huge affinity towards the Weird West subgenre. Just something about the mix of setting and tropes associated with it works wonders. And getting to fight vampires and other monsters in the wild west is a friggin awesome concept they should honestly do more of. I have no idea why I missed out on playing this game when I enjoyed the demo well enough. Especially knowing this was the start of High Moon Studios, the guys who made my favorite Transformers games. Although hearing it from them, that was sorta the problem. No one wanted to invest in Darkwatch, even after it reviewed well and sold decently. Before you knew it, Activision buys up High Moon, forces them to work on franchise only IPs, the original founders leave and soon after they produce Deadpool, they're all shoved into the CoD mines! Honestly, I'm noticing a pattern with a lot of these games at this point, are you?

Brute Force is a squad-based shooter where you can switch between four characters with unique abilities that are suitable for a variety of encounters and enemies you run into while playing. But the truth is, I played it because it had a crocodile man and I wanted to play as the crocodile man and that's really all that anyone cared about in the end I think. It has a crocodile man.

Mace Griffin is an ex-Space Ranger who was framed for a crime he didn't commit, was dishonorably discharged, imprisoned and when he came out all he could do was find Bounty Hunting work. The game is all about you clearing his name. For me I just felt it was cheap enough to get and, well, I like bounty hunter games. It's a cool enough concept to overcome some average scores. I think it will be fun enough for me at the very least.

I remember when conspiracy theory nonsense was just that, nonsense. Alien abductions and Area 51 used to be quaint little silly things to use in sci-fi. Now conspiracy nuts are considerably more racist and insanely dangerous. Maybe they always were. Area 51 was another of Midway's arcade games they translated to consoles. It used to be a lightgun on-rails shooter about aliens attacking the infamous secret military base. Now it's an FPS about that, but starring David Duchovny. That's right, Fox Mulder himself! I've never been into alien conspiracy garbage, but at least not I can laugh at the concept of Mulder fighting aliens on a fake Moon soundstage. Oh don't worry, we still went to the moon, but what we found there was too terrifying for any human eyes to see so we just faked the broadcast instead. OOOOOoOOOooHhhhhH! Spooky! See? It's dumb but at least it's not bigoted!

I have the two other games in the series, I bought this for completionism sake. We never got to see the end of this series, the proper end, with Bastogne and heading into Germany and all that. Instead Gearbox dumped all their money into Borderlands, left Aliens out to dry and impotently tried to save Duke Nukem. Thanks Randy. Thanks a ton. Oh well, at least now I have every entry in a once promising franchise.

The top-down squad-based strategic stealth game for PCs, becomes the action-stealth FPS game for consoles. I'll sum up why I have this succinctly enough. I enjoy taking down Fascists in video games, simple as that. Let me shoot at Nazis and I'm golden more or less. Not all the time, you need to at least make it fun and good, but killing Nazis is a good baseline.

I actually have this for the PC, but again my Desktop died so this is basically once again trying to play the game again more easily. I know people have a lot of thoughts about depicting this historical event, but for me I just try to view it as game depicting said historical event. No more, no less. It's best not to try and take your politics from video games. Especially when they don't have the time to examine all the complex context surrounding the mission gone wrong in question.

Speaking of controversial sources, Tom Clancy! Look, the guy wrote books to appease a very certain demographic, everyone right of center specifically, but there's no deny that his game studio didn't put out great hits. The Ghost Recon series is one of those and collecting the entire series as it started on consoles was a major goal for me as I've been a fan of the series for a long time. You have your standard locales for our titular Special Forces to visit, Russia, Cuba, North Korea, Kazakhstan, all the good hotspots for bad guys wanting to destroy America. If you want an action thriller movie to play around in, Ghost Recon is always your go to. And with these guys, I now basically have them all.

On the other side of the spectrum, Rainbow Six 3. Ghost Recon deals with special operations behind enemy lines. Rainbow is all about reactive counter-terrorism in mostly urban environments and indoors. Where things are more tense, closer and personal. They're very good tactical squad-based games. I've never been into Rainbow Six as much as Ghost Recon, but it's one of the central pillars of the Tom Clancy gaming library, next to Splinter Cell as the third column. So yeah, I picked it up because I already have all the Splinter Cells for the Xbox, might as well not leave Rainbow out of things.

Retro-active Final Thoughts

This all started because I just wanted to play one game, but then I guess I realized I wanted to play a lot of games. Games I had missed out on or just plain missed. I haven't had my Original Xbox hooked up in years and I guess prospect of being able to more regularly play it now just hit me hard enough to shake loose whatever else was holding me back from collecting these old favorites and curiosities.

The Xbox in general has been a huge part of my life and I suppose this journey was about making my library of games feel more whole. And the best part is, it's not really over. I still have to play through all these at some point and the prospect of that is exciting all the same. I know it's nostalgia fueled, but I did learn a lot about these games and the console as I looked them up. There was a lot of variety on the old Xbox. Even within a single genre. It's hard to look back to that moment of time and then to now when gaming feels so... different.

I'm not sure if this little expose has truly been as interesting or worthwhile to write as I believe it is. But I'm happy I got my thoughts down on it. And I do hope that, maybe like it did for me, it brought back some memories for you. I don't know if all of these games will hold up as well as I want them too, but it just feels nice to look forward to playing these games again all the same. And I enjoyed hunting for them, even if some aspects of it were frustrating.

Well, that's all for now. Next time I'll probably have something more substantial for you all. Until then, keep on gaming. Whatever console your passion is, I hope it's bringing you hours of fun. Who knows, maybe one day you'll step back into it like I have and discover some things you didn't know you were looking for.

#xbox #video games #retro gaming #collection #nostalgia