#and obi-wan hates to think of him closeting himself like that for life

[tennessoui]

Prompt: Can you shut up!?

hey hi hello!!! so this is set in the princess diaries au (no shame if you never heard of it, it's about 4 posts from about 5 months ago, i just thought the quote fit)

but basically anakin is the princess who writes the diary, obi-wan is chris pratt in the second movie, and they're very annoyed at each other except they also can't stay away or keep their hands off each other. because well. mutual obsession etc etc

(2.8k)

“Princess! Fancy seeing you here,” the most unwelcome voice in the entirety of Genovia and perhaps the world greets Anakin as he turns the corner into the main entrance hall.

He considers turning back immediately, but his grandfather has been trying to drill manners into his head and he knows that such a display of preference—dispreference, perhaps?—would be breaking half.

(Even though it’s not as if Anakin sees Qui-Gon obey all the rules Anakin has spent hours learning since he’d been discovered by his grandfather in San Francisco. All Anakin is saying is if Qui-Gon can knight a cop in order to get out of a speeding ticket, Anakin should be able to walk away from smarmy assholes who don’t know when to stop.)

“Lord Kenobi, what a surprise seeing you. Here. In my home,” he places his hands behind his back, files clenched just a hair too tightly between his hands. “Uninvited,” he adds in case the lord has not noticed that part.

“Apologies,” Lord Kenobi replies. He’s sitting on a side table, probably a Genovian antique worth more than his entire life, long legs crossed at the ankles in front and arms crossed over his chest. Does the man ever wear anything that isn’t a suit? At least he’s left off the jacket this time, but that might even be worse. All Anakin can see is his bare forearms, flexed as they are in that position.

All he can think about is the ball from two nights ago. It had been Anakin’s twenty-first birthday celebration, a coming of age in Genovia that could not be swept under the rug. That was how Qui-Gon put it, though Anakin still thinks his grandfather simply adores having a reason to throw a party.

He’d been warned beforehand that the guest list was mostly princesses and ladies and duchesses, women and girls looking to win his favor and eventually his ring. There weren’t many single, handsome, titled men these days—for good reason, of course, but still.

He’d been warned, but he hadn’t been prepared. After an hour and a half of dancing, he’d taken refuge in the linen closet off the main hall, several rooms away. He’d just needed space to breathe unperfumed air, to clear his head, to remember that he wasn’t just Ani anymore, the poor kid from San Francisco with the shit haircut he loved. He was Anakin Espa Tatoin Set de Shmison, Prince of Genovia.

And that meant dancing with women in ball gowns and long nails that pinched at his arms when he tried to leave before they were ready to see him go. That meant being a piece of meat, to be studied and measured by people he had no interest in.

But how can he say that?

Single, handsome, titled men are supposed to be straight. They’re supposed to be interested in women. And if they’re not—if they’re interested in men as well, that has to be an afterthought. That has to be a shameful secret, hidden away while they parade their beautiful wives around the world.

And single, handsome, titled men who aren’t interested in women at all? Who have only ever wanted to love another man openly and ardently? Who went to the San Francisco Pride Festival at the age of twelve and bawled in the streets at the realization that he wasn’t alone in feeling this way? 

Those don’t exist. Ani cannot exist, not if Anakin, Prince of Genovia is supposed to.

So he’d needed a second to remember, to get his head and his story, well. Straight. And he’d ducked out of the room, into a linen closet just for a few moments to breathe.

That’s all he’d had. Just a few moments. And then the door had opened and someone had closed themselves in with him.

Anakin had opened his mouth to protest—because, really, this was all very indecent, there was hardly any space between their bodies. If Anakin moved a single half-step forward, his entire front would be brushing along a—a very firm chest and broad shoulders, nice arms covered by a dark blue suit.

He must have swallowed his tongue there for a second, and it had given the strange man an opening. “Hello, darling,” he’d said, tone a low hot murmur very close to his ear. “Sincerest apologies for barging in like this, but I wanted to give you this.”

In his hand had been a champagne flute. For the first time, Anakin had followed the line of his arm up to his shoulder and then to his face. The man was gorgeous. His beard was neatly trimmed to the lines of his jaw, his eyes pleasantly crinkled on his smile. His hair had been styled, but several pieces had been falling out and they hung over his forehead.

“I heard it was your birthday, princess,” he’d teased in that same low tone, the lilting accent of a native Genovian coloring his words. “And I know in America they never celebrate twenty-first birthdays without a bit of alcohol. What do they call it again? When they go to different bars all in the same night for the sake of getting wasted?”

Getting wasted had never sounded more appealing than it did in that voice. “Twenty-one run,” Anakin had replied, taking the champagne from the man’s hand. “Usually it’s with harder stuff than champagne though.”

The man had smiled. “Champagne is the chaser, if you want.” He’d opened his jacket to pull out a silvery flask, shaking it slightly so Anakin could hear the liquid sloshing around.

And well. Many people had told Anakin many things throughout the course of his life but definitely since he became Prince of Genovia.

But no one had ever told him not to accept drinks from attractive strangers in cupboards.

They’d stayed there for at least an hour, talking in hushed tones and swapping the flask back and forth, champagne mostly forgotten. When Obi-Wan—his name was Obi-Wan Kenobi, what an amazing name—had complained about it being slightly cramped with both of them sitting opposite each other, Anakin had—Anakin had climbed into his lap and wrapped his arms around his neck.

And they’d laughed and Anakin hadn’t heard anything of what Obi-Wan said because he’d been too distracted by the way the man’s hands felt on his waist, and he’d felt so tired that he’d tried to curl up on him and go to sleep right there, face pressed against his neck so that all he could smell was Obi-Wan’s perfume, so strong at this part of his body that it almost drowned out all memories of the perfumes of the women at the ball.

The thought had woken him up. The ball. His ball. He’d been languishing in a linen closet for ages while his ball was going on. Unacceptable. Deplorable.

Obi-Wan had been shocked to feel him scramble up and away, shocked to watch him scrub a hand down his face and over his hair.

“No, no, I have to go,” Anakin had warbled when Obi-Wan’s hands had reached out to catch his own, bring him back to his lap. “No, I can’t—I’m not Ani, I have to be—I’m Anakin, Prince of…Anakin has to…he can’t like you, he has to go—he has to go dance with girls.”

Obi-Wan had stood up and looked at him with such kind, sad eyes that Anakin had thought he would cry if he had to see anything more. He’d turned to go, but Obi-Wan had caught his wrist, pulled him back and into his arms for a crushing and achingly quick hug. “You can have both,” he’d whispered in his ear. “I promise, Anakin. You don’t have to choose between who you are and what your duty is.”

Anakin had shaken his head sharply once, fighting the urge to cry, because he couldn’t. He couldn’t be both. Obi-Wan didn’t understand. Obi-Wan was just a lord. He didn’t understand that as a prince—he was expected to marry, expected to give heirs, expected to—

He’d left the closet but had been unable to get the words of the lord out of his head. Three dances later, he’d seen Obi-Wan standing on the sidelines of the room, next to a severe looking old man, hands clasped behind his back and legs indecently set apart.

You can have both, Obi-Wan had whispered. But was that true? Could it really be true?

It had been liquid courage that had made him cross the room to stand before Obi-Wan as the strings of the last song died. “Can I have this dance?” He’d asked, like an idiot, a tipsy, smitten child. And that’s exactly what Obi-Wan had treated him as, looking quickly at the old man next to him before he’d looked back at Anakin with an eyebrow raised in derision.

“I don’t know,” he’d said, lilting voice carrying so far the palace guards at the mouth of the driveway probably heard. “Can you?”

Anakin had flushed so red, it was a miracle he hadn’t simply burst into flames. But he’d wanted Obi-Wan. He’d wanted to be held and to hold the man again. Something about being around him made him feel safe and looked after. Protected. “May I?” 

And Obi-Wan, the man who had chuckled so deeply into his hair in the linen closet not even an hour ago had turned his head. “I believe someone more suiting your tastes is waiting over there,” he’d said, and Anakin had followed his gaze to spot a young woman clutching at her matriach’s hand, staring at him with stars in her eyes.

“I do not,” he’d said, and he’d sounded unsure, he knows he had. He’d broken and whispered almost furiously between them. “I hoped I could have both.”

Obi-Wan had taken a pointed sip of his champagne flute. “And I hope that with age, your naivety will meet its end. Happy birthday, my prince.”

And then he’d bowed, and then he’d left with that old man, and Anakin had been able to hear the whispers around the ballroom. He’d been so embarrassed, he’d been so angry—

And now Obi-Wan Kenobi is here, leaning on a table and looking at him consideringly as if he has any right to his time or his fucking—side table after what he’d done. He’d humiliated him, after letting him be vulnerable with him.

Worse, he’d—he’d given him hope. And then he’d taken it all away. He’d been a right dick, and Anakin despises him, an opinion that will never change.

“I’m not expecting visitors,” he tells him in a clipped manner, striding by. If he cannot turn around and leave, he will walk past and not engage. There—the grand staircase. He will go up a flight, perhaps two, and then into a random room full of things that can hopefully be broken without costing Genovia a fortune, and he will have a tantrum. “I’m much too busy today.”

“Are you?” Lord Kenobi asks. He says it like it’s a question he already knows the answer to. There’s the sounds of the man getting up, standing straight, and following him, but Anakin is walking much too fast to care.

He does care, however, when the files behind his back are plucked from his hands.

“Looking for a wife, are you?” Kenobi asks rhetorically, thumbing through the files.

Anakin whips around, hand already outstretched, but Kenobi ducks away. “Give those back,” he demands, stalking after him.

“I’m reading,” Kenobi says. “Too boring. Too spontaneous. Too cookie-cutter. Not rich enough. Owns a baking show, but only because of her title, you don’t want that sort of artificiality in your life.”

“Ahrt-e-fiss-i-a-lity,” Anakin mocks before he can stop himself. Kenobi looks over his shoulder with a lazy raised eyebrow, and Anakin wants to kill him.

He starts ascending the stairs and Anakin tears after him, tossing the idea of tackling him onto the floor out of his mind before it can completely form. It would be very satisfying though.

“All women,” Obi-Wan concludes as he reaches the top of the stairs. “Anakin,” his tone is…is disapproving almost. “We talked about this.”

Anakin wants to wrap his hands around Obi-Wan’s neck and squeeze. It is quite a feat of self-control that he does not. “Was that before or after you rejected me on the dancefloor?” he hisses at him angrily.

Obi-Wan opens his mouth as if to say something, but he pauses first and tilts his head. Anakin freezes as well when he hears the voices of a couple of maids down the hall.

Rumors have already begun to spread after the disastrous finale of Anakin’s birthday ball. He does not need to be caught arguing with Obi-Wan Kenobi right now, lest he feed more wood into those flames.

Without quite understanding why his actions are so bad, he blindly reaches out to the closest door and shoves both of them inside its opening.

“Princess, we have to stop meeting like this,” Obi-Wan says, pressed solidly against his front, the folders of all of Anakin’s possible wives the only thing keeping their chests from touching. “People will talk.”

Anakin feels his mouth drop open in outrage before he hits at Obi-Wan’s chest. “People are talking!” he hisses. “You—you rejected me! In front of everyone!”

“You weren’t in your right mind, Anakin,” Obi-Wan murmurs, letting himself be hit. Anakin doesn’t like that. Anakin wants Kenobi to fight back. “You were at least tipsy, on your way to fully sozzled. That sort of decision, it needs to be made fully sober. I refuse to take advantage of you like that.”

Anakin stares without seeing at Obi-Wan’s chest, bottom lip trembling slightly despite his best effort. “You were cruel,” he finally manages to say, slapping at Obi-Wan’s chest again. “You were cruel.”

Obi-Wan is silent for several seconds, before he lets out a little sigh. “I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “I am. I—my grandfather was with me, you see. And it would be—if he knew that you held me in high regard, it would be terrible for you. For the crown. And I find myself…opposed to putting you in such a position.”

“Why?” Obi-Wan frowns at the question as if it’s especially offensive to him.

“Because I don’t like thinking about you in distress.”

“Oh, did you not see me after you rejected me in front of—”

“I said, my grandfather was next to me—”

“Oh, well if your grandfather was—”

“I didn’t expect you to do something so public—”

“You got me drunk in a closet and you—”

“I expected a bit more class—”

“I asked you to dance, I didn’t ask you to blow me in the throne room, for fuck’s—”

“Would you?” Obi-Wan is somehow so much closer than before, and Anakin’s hands fall to his shirt for a grip. “Would you ask that of me?”

Anakin falls silent, still. He has no idea what Obi-Wan wants, no idea what the man is after. It feels like all he can do is answer honestly, and the word is on the tip of his tongue when Obi-Wan speaks again. “I would,” he whispers like a secret between them. “If my prince wanted it of me. If I thought my lips wrapped around his length would halt his foolish search for a wife when we both know they’d never be able to give him what he needs—-”

“Can you shut up?” Anakin cries much too loudly, and Obi-Wan grins in the darkness of the closet. “Make me,” he requests teasingly, but Anakin has had enough of being teased by this man. Anakin will not take this any longer.

He sets about making him, yanking him closer to him until their mouths meet. Immediately, Anakin’s eyes slide shut because this is a kiss and he only knows one way to kiss someone: gently, softly.

But he isn’t feeling very gentle and soft towards Obi-Wan right now, and the lord definitely isn’t feeling the same if the way he bites at his lip is any indication. Anakin can’t stop the way he yelps, and when Obi-Wan takes advantage of his opened mouth, he can’t even say he’s surprised.

His yelp quickly turns into an embarrassingly loud moan, and he grips at Obi-Wan’s hair, shoving him back against the wall.

There’s a rushing waterfall of paper, as Obi-Wan drops the files in his hands in order to grab at Anakin’s waist and pull him in, pull him closer.

And that’s how the maid finds them on her journey to grab new linens for one of the bedrooms, liplocked and making out against the one part of the small space, Obi-Wan’s leg slipped between Anakin’s, while Anakin’s hands are clenched around his thighs, the smiling faces of Anakin’s potential wives laying discarded and forgotten on the floor. 

#asks #obikin #prompt fill #princess diaries au #but a little different #in that they're definitely caught kissing in that closet #and also obi-wan is not strong enough to carry on the ruse as long as chris pine is in the second movie #he just looks at anakin and crumbles and wants to help him and be there for him and respect himm #etc etc #he also does not want to see him marrying any young and eligible women #mostly because this anakin is absolutely not interested in women at all #and obi-wan hates to think of him closeting himself like that for life #but also because he'd be sad if anakin married someone not him :( #also obi-wan just calls anakin princess because i think thats hot no more questions pleasae #yes this is STILL a switch au

[quietquaking]

I posted 1,004 times in 2022

That's 1,004 more posts than 2021!

41 posts created (4%)

963 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@your-favorite-closeted-bi

@panther-os

@ninjigma

@necrophatic

@ollikah

I tagged 122 of my posts in 2022

#star wars - 35 posts

#star wars the clone wars - 24 posts

#commander cody - 11 posts

#obi wan kenobi - 9 posts

#picrew - 9 posts

#tcw - 7 posts

#jade does art - 6 posts

#clone wars - 6 posts

#codywan - 6 posts

#the clone wars - 5 posts

Longest Tag: 132 characters

#bro travelled the world for years u cannot tell me he came back home to that white ass cooking and didn’t go oh. this is why i’m me…

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

was working on my ideas doc for a star wars modern au today. had an interesting interaction with my partner.

19 notes - Posted December 6, 2022

#4

i’ve had an epiphany

24 notes - Posted September 12, 2022

#3

ok who was going to tell me that hot chocolate with allspice is really freaking delicious

33 notes - Posted December 8, 2022

#2

thanks to random conversation i had with a friend, i now have solidified hc’s on what different star wars characters would drink. so now you have to get to hear it!

Obi-Wan loves tea, absolutely loves it. But he relies on caf for the higher caffeine content, so he ends up drinking a lot more caf than tea. he also drinks a lot of alcohol bc his life is hell.

Cody likes black caf. Actually likes it. No one understands it. On the flip side, he actually hates tea.

Anakin likes caf, but he puts so much cream and sugar that it no longer tastes like caf. Rex hates how he does it.

Rex himself likes caf (when it actually tastes like caf) but like, a normal amount. just something you drink in the morning to wake you up, with the added bonus of tasting good.

Ahsoka loves fruity drinks cause she’s fruity too, especially anything blue raspberry or space-strawberry. she makes a great banana-strawberry smoothie.

Echo and Fives will take anything sugary they can get their hands on. most of the troopers will, actually, since they get it so rarely.

Hunter really likes spicy things, which is difficult because of his enhanced senses. Everything is really strong. So he drinks a lot of those chamoy and tajin things that were really popular for a while. (he also drinks green smoothies. with kale. never says a word about how much he hates them, never says anything when people comment. he makes sure his batch mates never see his grimace after he downs one.)

Crosshair drinks black caf, but only because he thinks it makes him look cool. he actually really hates it and if given the opportunity will get a white-girl-on-a-diet-in-fall level complicated starbucks drink with extra whipped cream and caramel sauce.

Tech usually just does water, but occasionally he’ll get an iced caf, then forget about it for 6 hours and have to drink it at normal temp.

Wrecker and Omega just get the pinkest and sparkliest thing they can find.

126 notes - Posted November 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

we were ROBBED

352 notes - Posted August 1, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

[helbertinelli]

I’ve read your posts, I agree with them too, about TCW but was wondering about what you think of Ahsoka. More specifically the idea of Anakin having a padawan, do you think it was a good or bad choice?

Ahsoka refers to Anakin as an older brother, which I think is a good way to describe their relationship; brother and sister. But I had this idea of Anakin, Padme, and Ahsoka being together on a mission and they’re all sitting around a table or something talking and eating. Watching the three of them we would see how Padme and Anakin would be as parents by the way they were treating Ahsoka, not that they would adopt her or anything. Just something I thought TCW should have done. Or maybe Padme and Anakin find an orphan baby and they take care of it for a episode and we see how they would have been with their kids.

Thinking about this is making me sad now!

I really liked Ahsoka in TCW. Hated her in SWR. I don't like how the fandom (and Filoni) goes crazy over Ahsoka and treats her like she's the best thing in SW and if she was around she would have prevented all the bad things from happening. They make her too Mary Sue-ish and it erases all of the good stuff about her character. I don't like the idea of Padme and Anakin seeing Ahsoka as their daughter. She's only like 5 years younger than Anakin I think, and only 9 years younger than Padme (I checked the ages on Wookiepedia, used Legends to get the age gap between Anakin and Padme because that's how it is in the movies). So it would be weird. Pretty sure regular people have siblings with that age gap. Also neither Padme nor Anakin were mature enough to act like parents when Ahsoka was around them. They were still trying to figure out their life and I don't think they would have been in a position to care for a teenager or guide her or understand her needs. So this is mainly why I don't like the whole Ahsoka being training for Luke and Leia. Her age is too close and we shouldn't age up Anakin and Padme. I know TCW 08 liked to pretend Anakin and Padme were older than they actually were, but I really didn't like that. Part of the tragedy of Anakin and Padme is that they were so young when everything fell apart. Padme died at like 27 and Anakin got put in the Vader suit at 23. It's kinda surreal to think about Vader as a 23 year old guy. I think it was a bad choice to make Ahsoka Anakin's padawan. It conflicted with ROTS. There's no way the council both didn't trust Anakin enough (like in ROTS) and trust him enough (like in TCW) at the same time. Ahsoka's story would have worked better as Obi-Wan's padawan. It would have made more sense with the rest of the PT and it wouldn't have left so many plotholes. Like it would make sense for Obi-Wan not to mention Ahsoka because he's colder and doesn't show emotions as openly or talk about how he feels. But Anakin? He would have mentioned her in ROTS (if we look at the story chronologically) because Anakin cares about people close to him and he talks about his feelings and stuff that's bothering him. There's no way he wouldn't have mentioned Ahsoka because TCW showed she was at least remotely important to him. So in that way, TCW created a plot hole with Ahsoka being Anakin's padawan. It would have been cool to see Anakin and Padme look after a baby, though. The episode could have ended with Anakin having to leave for another planet and Padme finding out she's pregnant. There were so many stories that they could have done with Anakin and Padme, but TCW went for a forced "love triangle" (it's not really a love triangle because Padme didn't love Clovis, it was just Clovis trying to break them up and force himself onto Padme against her will) that doesn't fit in the timeline or makes any sense whatsoever. I'll forever be bitter about it. There were so many Anidala stories they could have done. Heck, they could have even had a creep that's lusty for Padme if that's what they were into, but do it without writing Padme and Anakin out of character for it. Like they could have done a Moulin Rouge-inspired thing where Padme and Anakin are somewhere and there's this guy that keeps trying to woo Padme and he's completely oblivious to Padme and Anakin being inseparable and spending time together. Meanwhile, Padme and Anakin are finding very bad excuses as to why they're alone in an utility closet and they both look slightly disheveled and everyone is buying it and thinks their excuses make perfect sense. I'm even more bitter because TCW 08 was our last chance at getting Anidala content on screen (unless they make a SW afterlife series with Anakin and Padme as spirits but that's unlikely) and they completely fucked it up.

#anidala #anakin skywalker #padme amidala #anonymous #ask #anti tcw

[crystalessenceswrites]

Hi Again! I was wondering if you wrote for the clones? (I'm thirsting for Wolffe!!) If not, that's ok! And if so, I thought maybe something fluffy and a bit hot with Wolffe? I'm a huge sucker for the trope- Reader tries to hide that she hasn't been feeling well and turns out she's pregnant? With twins! She's scared because even though they're committed, it wasn't planned? And then fluff and some love making?? <3333

Hi lovely, welcome back! I am open to writing for the clones, I just haven’t done so yet! I too thirst for Commander Wolffe so you’re in luck! This trope is def very cute, the end turned out more fluffy than spicy, I hope that's alright.

Commander Wolffe x fem!reader Rating: E (18+) Warnings: explicit sexual content, unprotected p in v sex, unplanned pregnancy, swearing (first time writing for Wolffe, may be slightly ooc)

[PART TWO]

There was never enough time. You really should not have been surprised by the revelation, you were at war, but it still sat heavy on your chest. Always needed elsewhere as soon as you completed a mission. Never time to rest, even in transit. Someone always needed your attention for reports, strategic planning or council meetings as the GAR cruiser hurtled through hyperspace. It never left you enough time for him. Thankfully, the stubborn nature of your clone commander allowed him to make time, even if just a spare moment, for the two of you.

“Oh fuck,” you throw your head back against the door as he reaches that spot deep inside you. Pushing you ever closer to the edge. “Wolffe, please-” you’re whining as he grinds up into you, throbbing inside you. He’s always had the uncanny ability to read your body, he knows better than you when you’re close to bliss and he enjoys drawing it out. To think Commander Wolffe was a fucking tease.

“Please what, cyare?” His smug grin slides across your chest following the trail of marks he’s littered across your skin where no one will see. “What does ner jetii need?”

“Please, ‘m so close,” you tighten your legs around his waist, trying to draw him in closer, anything to reach your release, “please, Wolffe!”

He groans into your neck as you tug at the curls fallen loose at the nape of his neck, “well when you ask so nicely, cyare.”

His sudden thrust up pushes the air from your lungs. Your mouth falls open in a silent scream as he pounds into you, all teasing forgotten. He’s relentless as you tighten around him, the coil in your belly threatening to snap.

“That’s it,” he grunts, “come on my cock ner jetii.”

His words and his gloved thumb brushing over your bundle of nerves has you falling apart around him. White hot pleasure rolls over you, leaving you a limp, moaning mess in Wolffe’s arms.

“That’s it, mesh’la. Squeezing me so kriffing tight,” he groans, hips stuttering, his own release fast approaching. “Fuck.” Wolffe manages a few more thrusts before he buries himself in you, spilling himself inside you. Whispered praises fall from his lips as he comes down from his own high. His lips ghost over yours in a chaste kiss as he withdraws, tucking himself away before he lets you down.

Your legs cry out in relief when they meet solid ground, not longer clinging to Wolffe for support.

“Good, cyare?” his hand sweeps over your brow, so tender for a man with such a fierce reputation, even amongst his brothers.

“Mhmm,” leaning into his touch, he chuckles at your blissed out expression.

“Someone’s bound to come looking for you soon, General. Let’s get you cleaned up.” You don’t protest as he helps you redress, though you do moan about how unfair it was he just had to remove his codpiece and you had to strip completely out of your robes for these little storage closet rendezvous’.

“I don’t think jedi robes were designed to allow for easy access, cyare.”

You pout, “you’re probably right.” There was that whole bit about no attachments you were blatantly ignoring after all.

Before the commander can come back with another sharp retort your commlink blinks to life. “Yes?”

“General, General Plo is looking for you on the bridge.”

You sigh, “thank you, Sinker. I’ll be right there.”

Never enough time.

.

The next couple of months continue much the same. You and Wolffe sneaking away between missions when you can, trying to find solace in each other despite all the horrors you both see on the battlefield. In a war that seems to stretch on forever he is your rock. As he watches his brothers fall, one after the other, you are his comfort. It breaks your heart to be apart from him but there is little you can do to control it. When the council requests you to join Obi-wan and Anakin for a series of missions you cannot object. Instead, you drag your tired self out to the far reaches of the outer rim to help them as best you can.

“You look exhausted, my dear.” Such tact this one possessed.

You roll your eyes, “you don’t look much better, Kenobi.” Though you doubt he has been waking in the middle of the night to empty the contents of his stomach like you have for the past week.

“This war does seem to be pushing us all to our limits.”

“I’ll race you!” Ahsoka sprints by, apparently headed for some target or another with her master hot on her heels.

“Snips!”

Cody chuckles under his bucket, shaking his head as the two disappear into the distance.

Obi-Wan scrubs a hand over his face, “it’s pushed most of us to our limits.”

“What I wouldn’t give to have the energy of a padawan again,” you groan.

“I agree wholeheartedly,” Obi-wan nods, “we should all try to get some rest while we can. We need to break camp near dawn.”

You agree and bid your fellow jedi an early goodnight. With the headache you could feel coming on, sleep sounded like a good idea. As you go to stand the world spins around you, any sense of balance you had gone. You reach for the crate you had been sitting on to try and stay upright but you miss by a mile. Knees giving out you collapse to the floor, the world around you still spinning. You can barely hear Cody shouting over the ringing in your ears.

“Call for a medic! The General’s collapsed!”

.

By the time you regain consciousness you’re no longer planet side. Obi-wan had been quick to have you medevacked to the closest med-station for testing. The unholy white lights of the station burn your eyes when you finally come to. Your sudden groaning draws Kix back to your bedside.

“General. Good to see you’re back with us.”

“Kix?” You try to focus on the 501st medic instead of the bright lights, “what happened?”

“You collapsed back at the forward camp. We weren’t able to determine what was wrong with the limited medical supplies we had on hand, so General Kenobi called an air lift for you.”

Another groan bubbles up, Obi-wan had been forced to waster precious resources on you. “Were you able to find out what’s wrong?”

The clone’s face falls, “yes.”

You’ve never heard the medic sound so meek before. “Kix?”

“I’m not sure what’s the best way to explain this, General… but you’re pregnant.”

Oh.

Oh.

“H-how far along?”

“Looks like just over two months,” Kix shifts from foot to foot, pointedly not looking you in the eye. You can’t blame him for being uncomfortable, this isn’t quite the medicine he’d been expecting to practice. He was a combat medic not an obgyn. “We were able to get an ultrasound, would you like to see?”

Nodding, you sit up, your head now spinning for completely different reasons. Kix brings you a datapad displaying the grainy black and white image.

“Kix… am I seeing this right?”

“Yes, general.”

“There’s two…”

“Yes general. You’re having twins.”

Oh fuck.

.

Kix is a godsend, having worked with Anakin and Rex long enough to know reporting everything may not always be a good idea. The official report on your sudden collapse reads that you suffered from a foreign infection your body had not been prepared to fight, coupled with the battle fatigue, your body had shut down in order to force you to rest. Obi-wan and the council believe it, ordering you back to Coruscant to recover and rest. You knew you would have to tell them; it would not be long until you were showing, but you would much rather deal with the council in person than from your medbay bed.

Before your escort arrives, Kix slips you a disk with a copy of the ultrasound pictures, “in case there’s someone you want to show them to.”

“Thank you, Kix,” he blushes when you give him a quick peck on the cheek, “you’ve done more for me than you’ll ever know.”

You do your best to rest on your trip back to Coruscant but its incredibly difficult when your mind is going a parsec a minute. Besides the council there’s one other person you have to break the news to. While you two had talked about what life would be like for the two of you after the war, this was not something you had discussed. You were not sure if Wolffe wanted kids ever, let alone now. Having twins while the whole galaxy was at war was not ideal. Not when the two of you were expected to put your lives on the line for the Republic.

Panic washes over you when you arrive at the capital to find the wolfpack waiting for you on the tarmac. They’d just arrived back for some long overdue shore leave and Plo had informed them of your sudden illness. Normally you would be touched by how much they cared for you, but now all you can think about is how you are not ready to face Wolffe. Not yet.

You can feel his gaze heavy on your back as you field Sinker and Boost’s barrage of questions.

“I’ll be alright, I just need to take my medicine and get some rest. It shouldn’t be long before I’m right as rain again.” You hate lying to them, but you did not want them worrying unnecessarily either.

It seems to appease them; the pack wishes you well and invites you out to 79’s with them as soon as you’re recovered. Wolffe hangs back, watching his brothers go.

“I’ll walk you back, general.”

“No.” It comes out much harsher than you’d like. The surprise that washes over his face feels like a stab to your gut. “There’s no need, Commander. I’ll be alright.”

His voice drops, brow furrowed together, “cyare?”

“Not now, Wolffe,” you frown, “I just need to go lay down. We’ll talk later.”

But you don’t. You cannot find it in yourself to answer any of his calls or messages over the next few days. Instead, you wrap yourself up in as many blankets as possible and hole up in your quarters while you try to figure out what to do. You watch Coruscant go by from your window. It’s only when Sinker and Boost call that you’re freed from running around in circle inside your head.

“Boost? Sinker? What’s going on?”

“Oh thank goodness you’re alive, General!”

“Boost what are you going on about?”

“The Commanders been going crazy! He hasn’t heard from you in over a week and we don’t think he knows how to handle it!”

Although you and Wolffe did your best to keep your relationship hidden, in such tight quarters it was hard to keep it from Wolffe’s brothers. You’d never outright admitted it to them, but you figured they understood what was going on. You were glad for it now.

“I’ve seen him pace before, but never like this,” Sinker adds.

Oh Maker. “Where is he?”

“The barracks, General.”

“I… I’ll speak with him, alright? Hopefully that will calm him down.”

“Thank you, General! We were running out of ways to distract him!” That was the kind way of saying ways to annoy him to keep Wolffe’s mind off you.

“Thank you, Boost, Sinker.”

“Good luck, General!”

You were going to need it. This was not a conversation to have over the com so you make your way down to the barracks, doing your best to avoid attention when you can. It was not like you weren’t allowed there, but the last thing you needed was more questions.

Boost and Sinker were not lying about the pacing. Punching in the access code to his quarters reveals a tightly wound Wolffe, pacing back and forth across the length if the tight space. His armor has been haphazardly discarded around the room. You’re surprised he hasn’t worn a path into the floor yet.

“General?” Surprise and then relief fall over his face when he catches you standing in the doorway.

“Wolffe, I-”

“What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be resting.”

You’re thrown off by the sudden cold tone in his voice. “I-I came to explain, Wolffe… to apologize.”

“Apologize?”

“I’ve been avoiding you Wolffe,” your voice cracks despite your best efforts to remain calm, “and I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have, I just needed to find a way to tell you and I couldn’t.”

His frown deepens, “tell me what?”

“That I’m pregnant.”

“What?” He looks at you live you’ve grown another head.

“I’m pregnant, Wolffe.”

It takes him a moment to wrap his mind around your words, but you can see the instant he does, his mouth dropping into an ‘o’ as his jaw falls slack.

“You’re pregnant? With my… with my baby?”

“Babies,” you correct.

His brain seems to sputter out again, “babies?”

You nod, “twins.”

Before you can blink, he’s got you wrapped up in his arms, spinning you around the room. “Twins. You’re having twins.”

It takes everything you have not to start bawling. Kriffing hormones. You’ve never seen Wolffe this happy. This was beyond any reaction you could have imagined. The awe on his face when he sets you down makes your heart melt.

“This is why you were sent back? Your sudden illness?”

“Well yes… but Kix’s report was that I had an infection. I wanted to talk to your first before anyone else. I just didn’t know how.”

His warm hand oh-so-gently cups the side of your face. You lean into the touch. After even just a few weeks apart you’re starving for him.

“Why were you worried, cyare?”

“We’d never talked about kids. And we’re in the middle of a war. Not to mention we’re not even supposed to be together on the first place… I didn’t know how you’d react…”

His face softens, his amber eye drifting down to your nonexistent bump. “I’ll admit, I’m surprised. It may not be how either of us hoped, but it is a pleasant surprise.”

“Really?”

“Really, cyare.” You cannot help but smile as he pulls you in for a kiss. His lips slanting against your own as he holds you close. “I know there may be somethings we need to work out, but we’ll take it one step at a time,” he murmurs against your lips, hands tracing patterns across your back. “We’ll figure it out together.”

#commander wolffe x reader #wolffe x reader #clones x reader #wolffe imagine #the clone wars #tcw #the wolfpack #nsft #smut #request #crystalessences writes

[disneydreamlights]

I Won't Lose Her

AO3 | FFN

Summary: When Vader sends a hostage video to Padme saying he holds her daughter captive, she does the only thing she possibly could, tries to save her life for her daughter's.

A/N: For @anidalaweek Day 2: Canon Divergence. Basically a Padme lives and becomes leader of the Rebellion AU because honestly we stan.

Yes I did publish this on AO3 hours before posting it here don't worry about it.

She knew she should've told Bail not to let Leia take the mission.

Padmé Amidala sat at her desk, unable to stop staring at the notice on her page. Leia had been sent to Tatooine to collect Obi-Wan and bring him and the Death Star plans to the Rebellion.

Leia had been captured en route to Tatooine by the Executor and had failed to get to Obi-Wan.

"Padmé." At the sound of her name, Padmé looked up at the hologram of Mon. It was clear that her fellow rebel leaders regretted what had happened to her daughter by the guilty expression on Mon's face. "We have news of Leia."

"News…?" In an instant, Padmé leaned forward, her eyes wide. "What did you learn? What happened? Is Leia alright?"

When Mon didn't answer right away, Padmé felt a surge of panic. "Is...she didn't…"

"No. No. Leia is fine," Mon answered, interrupting her before Padmé could continue to focus on that idea. The emphatic denial gave Padmé some reassurance that Leia was alright. "It's...perhaps I should just show you the message."

Mon vanished, instead showing a hologram of Leia and Vader, the mysterious dark lord of the Sith. "This is a message to Senator Amidala, the true leader of the Rebellion." At the sound of Vader's voice, Padmé's blood went cold. "As I am to understand it, the news of your death was exaggerated. As I have found in the princess's mind...you have been alive and in hiding, controlling this war from the shadows while the Organas and Mothma were the face of your rebellion."

"If you would like your daughter unharmed, you will arrive on the Executor within a standard week from receiving this message. As a show of good faith, I am using a private transponder, and will not trace it to the location of your current base. If you do not arrive, Leia Skywalker will be executed. She will meet the same fate as your late husband."

"I look forward to your arrival on my ship." The hologram vanished, and Padmé fought any feelings of nausea as Mon's face returned.

"I'm sorry Padmé. We're hoping General Kenobi will get there in time, but…"

"But we don't even know if he got Leia's message." The moment she had seen the message, seen that Darth Vader held her daughter, Padmé knew there was only one option for her. "I can't leave her Mon."

"I know." Mon looked down, as though she had expected this. "Please be careful in rescuing your daughter."

Padmé nodded. Once Mon hung up the call, Padmé ran to her closet to find her flight suit.

She'd lost Luke, back when she had first given birth Obi-Wan had insisted it would be best to separate the twins, and Padmé had reluctantly agreed, giving up the chance to know her son for the best chance of life he could have. If she lost her other child too, this one to a more permanent fate, she wasn't sure if she'd be able to forgive herself for the mistake.

She had to trade herself for Leia. The Rebellion would survive without her presence. It was the only option she had.

-x-

The Executor loomed in Padmé's vision, an ominous warning of her impending fate as her small X-Wing steadily crept closer to the Star Destroyer. It was large and imposing, and the Sith inside had already done so much damage to her family that she wasn't sure how she would face him. But she kept holding onto the single hope that Leia was alive when Vader had spoken to her. She just had to keep believing that. The dark feeling in the air meant nothing. She could survive.

The radio clicked on as she received a transmission from the empire. "This is the Executor. You're in a classified zone. State your purpose or you will be shot down."

Padmé took a deep breath, hoping to keep her voice steady in spite of her nerves and fear. "This is Padmé Amidala, leader of the Alliance to Restore the Republic. I'm here to trade myself for the princess Leia Organa."

She watched, anxiously, expecting to be fired on as soon as she stated her name, expecting this to have been a trap to lure her out of the shadows she'd remained in for so long. Instead however, there was nothing but silence before a deep voice came from the radio. "Senator Amidala, I will meet you down in the hangar. Do not try anything foolish. My men will shoot without warning."

The radio cut out, and Padmé took a deep breath. So far, she was alive. A small part of her hoped that this wasn't a trap, but a genuine trade to capture a larger target. She hadn't known Vader to be a man of his word, but then again, besides the fact that he was a Sith and the one who had killed her husband, Padmé didn't know much about him at all.

The hangar bay doors opened, and rather than have to pilot herself in, her ship was grabbed by a tractor beam, slowly pulling her in. Once she was safely inside and the ship landed, she opened the cockpit and jumped out, her hand on the only weapon she had on her, her blaster. In the back, she saw a dark imposing figure with his black armor and the mask that kept his face hidden. She couldn't get a read on him, but he didn't seem keen to attack. To her disappointment, her daughter wasn't with him.

Gathering her courage to her, Padmé broke the silence that had remained between them as neither had spoken. "Lord Vader. I see the promise of my safety wasn't a lie. Where is my daughter?"

"Leia is currently being kept in my quarters." The way he said her name caused Padmé's stomach to tie itself in knots. There was a fondness to it, one the Sith never should have had. She hated to imagine any of the reasons as to why. "If you'll follow me, I'll take you to her."

"How do I know this isn't a trap?"

"If I wanted to kill you, you would already be dead."

The statement was a punch to the stomach, a reminder of what Vader was capable of, and one that left Padmé with little idea of how to respond. Her silence left an awkward void, only filled by the harsh breathing of his respirator.

Seeing no other alternative, she relented. "Very well. I will follow you. But if any harm comes to my daughter–"

"I have no desire to see her harmed, though whether you believe me or not is irrelevant." Vader's voice was harsh, and there was an underlying note of offense, as though he couldn't believe she would assume he would want to hurt Leia. With that, he started down the halls of the Star Destroyer, leaving Padmé confused.

She wasn't in binders, Vader was escorting her himself, and he had no desire to harm Leia.

None of it added up. Yet she still followed him quietly deeper into the ship, trying to figure out just what he was doing and why.

When they finally arrived in his quarters, Padmé was surprised to find that it was furnished fairly normally, although nothing besides the pod in the back looked as though it had been used in quite some time, and in the bed on the back of the room was Leia, who looked no worse for wear to her mother's relief.

"Princess." Leia looked up at Vader. At first, her eyes had been narrowed in distaste, but once she saw Padmé, her eyes widened in shock, and the biting comment she had been preparing for Vader fell silent.

"Leia." Padmé reached out.

"Mother." Leia stood up from the bed and ran into Padmé's arms. "Mother I'm so sorry. I tried to keep everything contained like Auntie 'Soka said but–"

"You did your best Leia. You did so much more than I could've ever expected against Vader." Padmé held Leia close to her, not letting her daughter go as she realized how close she had come to losing her. There weren't any marks on Leia, which meant that Vader hadn't done much to harm her beyond mentally, and Padmé couldn't fight the smile that formed in relief that her daughter was alright. "I'm so proud of you."

"I didn't want you to come. I could've handled Vader."

"I already lost so much Leia. I couldn't lose you too." Padmé kissed her daughter on the head, and Leia hugged her once more.

They stood there, holding each other, though Padmé wasn't sure for how long before she heard Leia whisper in her ear. "Artoo and Threepio got away. I think they made it to General Kenobi."

Through it all. Leia still made sure that the mission succeeded. If Padmé thought she couldn't have been prouder of the girl, she was mistaken. Leia had gotten the message to Obi-Wan (and to Luke). The Death Star would still be destroyed and the Alliance would gain the edge they may have needed to turn the tide in this war. There were still so many reasons for hope.

"It is time for you to leave, Leia. Your mother has fulfilled her end of the deal." Mother and daughter sprung apart when Vader spoke, attracting their attention. "I will escort you personally to the ship she came in."

"I don't need your escort." Leia glared at Vader. "And don't call me Leia. You have no right to use that name."

"If you do not want any of the officers or Storm Troopers to capture you once more, you will." Leia remained silent. "You are, of course, welcome to stay aboard my ship, but I would presume that's not what you wish."

Leia remained silent, as though deciding what her best course of action would be. Padmé attempted to give a reassuring smile. "Go, Leia. Find Obi-Wan. Tell him what happened."

Leia ignored Padmé's pleas and looked at Vader, who seemed to have stiffened slightly at the mention of Obi-Wan. "What do you want my mother for? Why did you spare me?" She grabbed onto Padmé's hand. "The moment you learned about her, you stopped torturing me. You refused to answer any of my questions. You forced me to compromise the entire Rebellion for a phone call for a deal that based on everything any of us know about you would be so obviously fake–"

As Leia continued her demands, Vader raised his hands. For a moment, Padmé felt fear. The last time she had seen a similar gesture from a Force Sensitive had been nineteen years ago, right before she'd lost Anakin. Thankfully, it was just a gesture to stop, as he instead spoke. "I spent nineteen years thinking I was responsible for your deaths. I would not wish to see that happen again."

"That didn't stop you from killing my Father!" Leia's words hung in the air, and Vader stepped back, as though the accusation wounded him in some way. "Don't deny it, mother–"

"Your mother was misinformed." Though Padmé couldn't tell because of his mask, it felt as though Vader's eyes were locked directly on her, and she shivered. "I did not kill your father."

"Obi-Wan said–" She was cut off before Padmé could repeat the story she'd heard.

"Kenobi lied. Or perhaps, he could not face the truth himself." Vader continued to keep her gaze, though he didn't elaborate any further on his statement. "Princess, it is time for you to go. No harm will come to Padmé so long as I am alive to see to it."

"You still haven't answered my questions!" Leia protested.

"We do not have the time for me to answer them in a way you would find satisfactory." Vader crossed his arms, finally turning back to Leia. "I cannot hide your presence here forever, and if you would like to escape to your Rebels, you will need to go now."

Knowing she had lost, Leia hugged Padmé. "I'll come back for you. With help."

"I know." Padmé hugged her back quickly. "I love you Leia. If something happens to me, never forget that."

They let go, and Leia was taken out of the room without another word.

-x-

Vader came back into the room about an hour later, Leia no longer beside him. Padmé had taken to laying on the bed that had held Leia earlier, choosing to read one of the holo novels that were on the shelves. He stood next to her on the bed, but Padmé chose to say nothing. She didn't want to talk to Vader, let alone have anything to do with him. No matter how desperate for an answer as to why he was doing everything, she wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

"Leia has left. She flew out on your ship, and will remain untracked." As though he realized Padmé wouldn't speak, Vader did instead. "I'm sorry to have threatened her, but once I knew you were alive, I knew it was the only way to bring you here." She remained quiet, pretending to be invested in the story to continue to ignore Vader. "I would never have hurt her. Had you chosen not to come, I would've found another way."

"Why?" Padmé asked. She put down the novel, finally giving Vader her attention. "You haven't explained anything to either of us Lord Vader. I have no reason to believe you when you say you won't hurt her. I have no reason to believe you won't hurt me now."

"Nineteen years ago, on Mustafar, you tried to stop me from heading down a dark path I could never come back from." Vader started, despite still remaining harsh due to the vocoder, his voice felt softer, as though he was trying to be gentle. She stiffened at the start of his story, wanting to deny everything he was implying. "I wouldn't listen, and I lashed out. I thought I'd killed you, Padmé. For nineteen years I thought I'd killed you and the child."

Padmé's eyes widened, and although Vader reached out for her, she scooched back, as far away from Vader as she could. "No. You can't be. He…" She shook her head, her hand resting over her mouth as she tried to process this. Anakin couldn't. He wouldn't.

Vader didn't deny, and instead let Padmé come to terms with the implication of his words on her own. It was everything she'd feared. Obi-Wan hadn't hidden that he'd fallen, she was aware that Anakin had attacked her that night, but she'd always hoped…

"Darth Vader destroyed him. I'm so sorry Padmé, Anakin is gone."

"I see you needed more time before I told you the news. I'd just hoped…" Vader's words fell to silence, and Padmé couldn't stop herself from staring. There had to be something to prove this wrong.

"Why?"

"I thought I'd lost everything." Vader sat down on the bed, but made no further move to get closer to her. "My master was all I thought I had. I did not care about what became of me, and I became nothing more than a weapon, until I started going through Leia's memories and I saw…"

"You saw me." Vader didn't react, but Padmé didn't need one to know it was the truth. She may not have been force sensitive, but the knowledge of the true identity of the monster in front of her held more answers than the Force ever would. "Ani…?" She reached her hand onto his mask, cupping where his cheek would've been without it.

"I'm sorry. I've done many things you wouldn't approve of since your death." He had, and there would be time for her to process that the atrocities he had committed were all performed by Anakin. There would be time for her to decide if she could forgive him. There would be time for him to prove that he deserved her forgiveness.

But in this moment, all she cared about was that the man who she had spent so many years mourning and fighting to avenge was alive. "I'd thought..."

"So had I." Vader bowed his head, moving away from the gentle touch he could not feel. "But now that I know that you and Leia are alive, I'll do everything in my power to keep both of you safe."

Padmé shook her head. "Anakin, I can't stay your prisoner. I have to go back." She had to make sure that Leia was safe. She had to meet with Obi-Wan and talk to him about this. She wanted to have the chance to truly meet Luke in more than a few holocalls that Obi-Wan managed to set up between her and her son.

To her surprise, he didn't protest. "For now, you'll have to. When Leia gets the Death Star plans to the Rebellion and destroys it, that's when there will be enough chaos in the system that you'll be able to escape without attracting suspicion." Padmé couldn't help but stare. "I'll give you an encrypted comm system to communicate with, just like we used to during the war."

"You'll let me go back?"

"If you stay here, then the Emperor will find you. It won't be safe," Vader said. "There is no other choice, my master must die. If I have to work with your Rebels to achieve that end, then so be it."

Surprising herself, Padmé smiled. "If that's the case, then we'd better get started."

#Heather Writes #Star Wars #Anakin Skywalker #Anakin #Padme Amidala #Padme #Leia Organa #Leia #Darth Vader #Anidala #Anidala Week 2021

[zabrak-show]

Home on the Remains

Presenting to you all my Valentine’s Day gift to @abnaxus​ from the @starwarsfandomfests​ gift exchange put on by @lilhawkeye3​. It’s fluffy and sweet and I hope you enjoy it and have a lovely Valentine’s Day!  💝💖💘

Pairing: None, Gen

Summary: This is a found family fluff short story with Maul, Obi-Wan, Anakin, and Ahsoka. They are on their way to a special gala on the mostly deserted planet Lehon/Rakata Prime.

Word Count: 1.43k

A03

(i had to laugh at this collage I made where Maul is the only one sort of smiling hksadfhl)

“You can’t possibly be thinking of wearing that.” Kenobi gestured towards Maul’s open chest tunic. It was made of sheer silk and trimmed in leather, black as the deep space their ship was soaring through. A shadow of his bright red skin could be seen through the soft silk.

“I’ll have you know, Kenobi,” Maul smoothed the fabric over his torso, “this is designer apparel right here. The finest in the galaxy.”

Kenobi rolled his eyes and adjusted his own brown robes, tying a decorative tan belt around his waist.

“Must the Sith always be so orchidaceous?”

Maul hissed back at Kenobi.

“You know I haven’t been a Sith in years, Master Jedi.” Kenobi ignored him, while he fluffed his hair in the mirror. “You look ridiculous.” 

Maul made his way out of the room. Kenobi was still ignoring him and it was no fun to bicker with him if he wouldn’t bite back. Ahsoka walked past him into the room, blocking his exit. She gave the Zabrak an up and down glance and cocked an eyebrow.

“And you don’t look ridiculous? You know we aren’t going to a funeral, right Maul?”

Maul huffed and shoulder checked Ahsoka on his way out of the room. He made his way to his private quarters. A clearing of mind was in order. All this naysaying from the Jedi was wearing his nerves thin.

To think that he was able to even cohabitate with them at all was a conundrum that still puzzled his mind at times. All he had known was hate for the Jedi, especially Kenobi. Now he was starting to feel something - something twisted up inside of him softening his hard edges and patching up his broken hearts. He resisted. It was too much too fast. He couldn’t change all that there was about himself, or else, what would be left?

Knock Knock

“Yes,” Maul answered.

“Hey, it’s me. Can I borrow one of your black robes?”

Maul opened the door and let Anakin enter.

“All my robes are black and why can’t you wear one of your own?”

“I left one on Padme’s ship and the other one is dirty.”

“You only have 2 robes?”

“Yeah, how many do you have?”

Maul opened his closet to reveal a sea of black tunics and robes.

“Many. Take your pick.”

Anakin went through his closet looking at all the former Sith’s luxurious robes. He ran his fingers down the textured fabric and seams, trying to find the perfect one for the occasion. Maul let him take his time and sat at his small table reading a book.

At last, Anakin found one he was content with and pulled it out of the closet. He draped it over his arm and turned towards the seated Zabrak.

“What are you reading?”

“Hmm? Oh, nothing, a book about fighting styles. Trying to brush up while I can.”

“Mm, right. Well, I was thinking about that problem you had with your legs, the clicking. And I might know how to fix it if you’d like me to take a look.”

“What problem? There’s no problem! I do all my own repairs anyway.”

“Yeah, I figured as much. I wrote down a schematic of where I think the problem is and how to fix it so that you can do it yourself.” Anakin handed Maul a folded up piece of paper. Maul’s intense amber eyes bore into him looking for some negative, mocking undertone to the Jedi’s actions. All he found was genuine friendliness pouring back at him through the Force. He reached out for the paper and snatched it down placing it underneath his book.

“I will take a look, but I’m sure it’s something I’ve already tried.”

Anakin smirked and left Maul’s quarters, the door hissing shut behind him.

--------

Lehon’s aquamarine atmosphere illuminated the ship’s walls where it poured in from the viewports. They were close to landing and excitement for the gala filled the recycled air of their ship.

Maul entered the lounge where Ahsoka was primping herself in the small mirror. She let out a long sigh and sat on the bench with a look of disappointment on her face.

“Now what’s this all about then?” Maul questioned her.

“It’s nothing. I just.. There's something missing about my outfit. I wish I had some jewelry to pull it all together.”

Maul pressed his front fingers against the bridge of his nose and sighed with more dramatic flair than the teenager in front of him.

“Come with me.”

He led her back to his quarters. Once inside he opened up a large smooth wooden box to reveal a wealth of jewels and jewelry.

“Here. Take your pick, but return them when you’re done.”

Ahsoka’s eyes grew big with delight. She went through the box of treasures, handling each piece with a delicate curiosity.

“These are all so beautiful. You should wear some too.”

Maul made a displeased noise and took a seat at his small table. It was too late, though. Ahsoka had already picked out a gold chain to loop around his horns in a decorative manner. He growled lowly but allowed it to happen.

“Hmm, you need something else too.”

“And what of you?”

Ahsoka turned her attention back to the box of treasures. She picked out a necklace with a round pendant that had four symmetrical curved lines on its surface. It gave off a strong yet mysterious Force presence. She wrapped it around the Zabrak’s neck.

“Perfect!”

“I thought we were looking for jewelry for you.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.”

Ahsoka slipped a few rings onto her slender fingers and strung a silver chain necklace around her neck. The chain landed over the navy blue chiffon at the top of her dress and brought out its grey accents.

“Now we are ready!”

---------------

The sky on Lehon was still a beautiful bright aquamarine and the temperature was warm, but not too hot. The gala was on a small island with white sand beaches and tropical flora aplenty. The ocean waves lapped up the shoreline with calming tranquility to it. Light glinted off the water from the shining sun above.

Ancient ruins of past Jedi and Sith battles littered the planet’s surface. Altitudinous durasteel structures poked out of the water and some smaller debris took up considerable space on the island. The millennia of plant and animal life had seen to blending them into the tropical essence of the planet. Birds had made nests in them and vines, moss, and other foliage wrapped around many of the structures. Despite the years of discard and assimilation into the planet’s surface, filigree could still be made out on some of their surfaces.

The four of them made their way to the gala, towards a large off-white building not too far off in the distance. Kenobi and Maul walked ahead of Anakin and Ahsoka on a small dirt path. The two younger more energized young adults were teasing each other and laughing. Kenobi looked over at Maul and down at his metal legs.

“I see you found a way to fix that clicking noise that had bothered you so.”

“I hadn’t realized everyone was so aware of my little irritant.”

Kenobi placed a hand on Maul’s shoulder.

“Maul, my brother, we are all Force users here. We can all sense each other’s feelings and unease.”

Maul looked down at Kenobi’s hand on his shoulder and back to Kenobi’s face.

“Brother?”

“Is that not what we all are? A family of sorts?”

Maul looked back at Anakin and Ahsoka. His black robes hung around Anakin’s tall frame. His jewelry, sparkling in the sun, pulled together Ahsoka’s gala outfit. He then looked down at the pendant over his heart. The pendant his own brother had used to find him when he’d been discarded as trash. He took the pendant in his hand and warmed the cool metal with his touch.

“Yes, I suppose that is what we are. What we have all become.”

They walked on towards the gala and Maul contemplated his thoughts from earlier. Perhaps there was more to him than hate and revenge. The ancient ruins surrounding them made him feel hope. Hope that even when something was designed for destruction, the nature of its surroundings could decide otherwise while still accepting the original construction of the entity.

The twisting in his gut happened again and made its way up to his throat. He swallowed it down and decided to allow himself this feeling. He’d never admit it to the Jedi, but they made him feel like he was at home.

#valentines day exchange 2021 #darth maul #obi-wan kenobi #ahsoka tano #anakin skywalker #genfic #fluff #found family #abandoned planets #gift fic #star wars fan fic #clone wars #star wars prequels

[frunbuns]

Almost Home

Modern AU

Read on Ao3

I was just a kid

Dreams were looking big and then I had to grow up

No one ever says

All the love you give might not be enough

Broke my heart in two a couple times

Before it hurt too much

Obi-Wan has been sitting in the car for hours. It’s brand new. Still smells like it even though he’s had it for a while now. Something about insurance. He can’t quite remember what it was, but Mace had taken care of it for him. He hasn’t used it. This is the first time he’s ever been in it. Since getting discharged from the hospital.

It’s a nice car. Maybe he would have liked it if it was before. Though he’s never been quite good with cars. As long as it worked he never thought all that much about it.

The keys are not even in the ignition. He’s got his seatbelt on, his hands clutching the steering wheel, but that’s about it. He hasn’t even turned on the radio. He’s actually not quite sure how to turn it on.

He’s sure that if he wasn’t gripping the steering wheel so hard his hands would be shaking.

He needs to get going soon. Anakin is waiting for Obi-Wan to come pick him up. To finally take him home. It had all been sorted out. After a lot of fighting and arguing - and a little help from Mace and Plo - he had been allowed to take Anakin in after all. Despite his age. Despite Qui-Gon. Despite everything that had happened.

He had fought so hard for the kid, but it seemed now he had lost all his bravado. Over a car, of all things. Over a simple drive.

His heart beats quickly behind his healing ribs as he takes slow, shaky breaths. Willing himself to let go of the steering wheel. To relax.

His hands are slick with sweat when he finally lets go. He thinks he might be sick for a moment, but it passes as quickly as it came when he leans back and closes his eyes.

He wishes his father was there.

Wiping his sweaty palms off on his pants he picks his phone out of his pocket and calls the first person on his contact list. It rings a few seconds before it picks up.

“Obi-Wan?” Bant’s voice says through the speaker. “Obi-Wan, how are you? We haven’t heard from you in a while now and—”

“Can you come?” He hates how small and pathetic his voice sounds. “Please?”

He hears some shuffling on the other end. Then, “Yeah, sure. Where are you?”

Obi-Wan swallows thickly. “The car,” he says, hoping she’ll get it. “I’m in the car.”

She does. “I’ll be there in five.”

-

Grief, Obi-Wan finds, is all consuming. It takes, and it takes, and it takes until all that's left is a hollow shell if yourself. And then it takes more, as it sees fit. Until all that's left is numbness and emptiness.

It's exhausting. Carrying around all that pain by yourself. It renders you almost immobile. It's like doing the smallest movements – like walking from one room to another – sucks everything out of him. A kind of exhaustion that settles heavily in his limbs, burying deep under his skin and muscle.

It takes his breath away at times. Leaves him gasping for air almost. Because it just hurts so much.

Obi-Wan vaguely recalls their pet goldfish dying when he was little. He had cried so hard he'd nearly thrown up. It took hours before his father had managed to calm him down enough to scoop the little guy out of the tank with a tiny net.

After some coaching Obi-Wan had allowed him to flush him down the toilet. Only after assuring his son that the little fish had loved him too, as Obi-Wan had loved it. That he had been a good owner. That sometimes pets just die. That the pain he felt only meant that what he had lost had meant something.

It had calmed the raging heartbreak slightly. Enough for the two of them to give the little guy a proper funeral. He had cried the whole time, but his father kept his big, comforting hand around him the entire time as he spoke.

He had been a steady rock in a storm of chaos. Something Obi-Wan was too young to quite understand at the time.

Now, however, he's all alone. There are no big arms wrapping around him. No steady rock to his storm of chaos.

It's agony, having loved and lost. He hates it, he decides.

He's aware that he's retreated into himself a bit. That he's far from the person he was before. But if he's going to be able to wake up every morning and take care of Anakin he has to box it all away. Put on some kind of façade to keep him going.

-

Obi-Wan checks the mirror again for what must be the thousandth time that trip. Qui-Gon sighs, watching the younger man bemused. Knuckles white as he grips the steering wheel for dear life.

Outside the rain slaps against the roof of the car like bullets. Creating tracks on the windows. The wipers work overtime to keep the water at bay. In many ways it feels like driving on a river.

"There are no cars here for miles, Obi-Wan," he says. "You don't have to worry so much. Relax."

"I still think you should have been the one to drive," Obi-Wan replies.

"You're never going to get comfortable behind the wheel if you don't try. You already passed your test and you have your licence. A bit of weather will be fine."

"Maybe they shouldn't have let me–"

They drive over a hole in the asphalt and Obi-Wan startles. He grips the steering wheel until his knuckles turn white.

Qui-Gon chuckles. "Relax, Obi-Wan. You’re doing fine.”

Obi-Wan takes a deep breath. His grip on the steering wheel slackening. He nods. It’s fine. It’s just a bit of water.

-

Obi-Wan closes the door behind him, Anakin’s bag slung over his shoulder. A weary sigh leaves his lips. He can’t help but feel like he should have cleaned up a bit before he picked up Anakin. But the boy doesn’t seem to mind as he runs room to room, exploring the space.

“Woah!” he exclaims. “This is so wizard! Do you really live here?”

Obi-Wan huffs as he drops the bag on the living room floor. It feels a lot brighter than he could remember it being before he left. Bant laughs next to him.

“He’s got a lot of energy,” she says. Obi-Wan nods.

“Do you need anything else?” she asks him, quietly so only he hears.

“No,” he replies, then clears his throat. “No. We’ll be fine. Thank you.”

She smiles at him then. Almost sadly. And places the car keys in his hand. “Just give me a call if you need anything. Anything.” she says. “Any of us. We’re more than willing to help.”

Obi-Wan nods numbly.

“Bye Anakin!” she shouts down the corridor. “I’ll see you around. Take good care of your new dad for me, will you?”

“I will!” Anakin shouts back. “Goodbye, Bant!”

She chuckles and pats Obi-Wan’s back. “Take care, Obi,” she mutters to him, and then walks out, closing the door after her.

Obi-Wan sits down on the sofa, his body aching with this kind of exhaustion that doesn’t leave no matter how much he sleeps. He runs his hand over his face and just sits there for a moment, with his head in his hand. He listens half-heartedly to Anakin rummaging through the bathroom. He can’t quite bring himself to care about the mess the boy might be creating. Maybe it makes him a bad parent.

He’ll take care of it later. Later… He’s been saying that a lot lately, but later doesn’t seem to ever come. If anything it just keeps adding up. It’s like there’s a big pile of later shoved into a closet somewhere just waiting to be opened and wreak havoc.

“Obi-Wan?” a timid voice says.

Obi-Wan lifts his face from his hands and comes face to face with Anakin. He looks at the boy expectantly as he seems to hesitate.

“Are you alright?” he finally asks.

Obi-Wan sighs. “I’m fine.” Anakin looks unconvinced, but doesn’t press him, seemingly satisfied with that answer for now. “Is there anything else?”

Anakin grabs his bag of belongings and slings it over his shoulder. “Where do I sleep?”

Obi-Wan blinks. “Oh,” he says, a little confunded. “You can take my room.”

-

Obi-Wan comes to, to the sound of static. His head hurts. A lot. In fact, his whole body hurts. And there’s a distinct smell of oil and antifreeze coming from somewhere. Everything feels muddy and strange. There’s something wet dripping down his face. Wait. No. That’s not right. It’s dripping up.

He groans as he forces his eyes open. Bright lights assault his vision. When his eyes finally adjust everything is upside down. It takes him a moment to realise he’s in the car. There’s another car a few meters in front of them, a massive bulk in its side and its hood. Their entire windshield has shattered, littering the car with glass. His seatbelt is the only thing keeping him from crashing into the roof of the vehicle.

Obi-Wan’s breath hitches. “Da-ad?” He coughs, chest aching after each one. “Dad?”

Slowly, he manages to turn his head towards the passenger seat. The car door is missing on that side. Rivers of blood drip down Qui-Gon’s thorso, soaking his clothes and gathering into a bloody puddle under him. He’s unconscious. And injured. Maybe even worse. He could be— He might be—

“Dad?” He tries again.

Obi-Wan’s heart beats rapidly behind his aching ribs. No one answers. His heart sinks.

He fumbles with his seatbelt, desperately trying to undo his seatbelt. It releases him with a soft click and he goes tumbling into the roof of the car. He cries out as he lands on his shoulder. It takes him a moment to recover before he manages to think straight again. Or as straight as he could before he fell at least. Everything feels a bit muddy and cloudy.

He pushes himself towards Qui-Gon with his weak limbs. It’s a challenge in the small space of the car, but he manages to get close enough to touch him.

With a shaking hand he reaches towards the older man. His pulse is weak and uneven under his fingertips, but there nonetheless. Obi-Wan would be relieved if he wasn’t so sure Qui-Gon was dying.

He manages to fiddle with some of the buttons on the radio and the buzzing stops. He swallows back what sounds like a sob and closes his eyes. It hurts. Everything hurts.

-

The funeral passes in a blur. Anakin is glued to his hand the whole time, not letting go even once. His tiny hand grips his with vigor. He presses himself into his side when there are people around and practically hides behind him when they come to talk.

“I see you brought the boy as well.”

Obi-Wan purses his lips and looks at his grandfather, face blank and expressionless. The man holds himself high where he stands, practically radiating authority. Obi-Wan used to be scared of him as a child. His cold nature was always a harsh contrast to his father’s warm presence. Not that they spent much time around each other. Qui-Gon had fallen out with his father years before Obi-Wan came into the picture.

Obi-Wan only stares at him as Anakin pushes himself into his side, looking up at the older man with apprehension.

“Though I’ll have to say I’m surprised they let you take him,” the man muses. “Given your age and situation.”

“Obi-Wan was always the golden child,” Xanatos chimes in, ambling up to them. “Of course they let him. They always let him have what he wants, if he pleads enough and bats his eyes at them.”

Obi-Wan’s jaw clenches. He never got along with Xanatos. Even as a child. As the youngest of three – significantly as well – Xanatos just never liked him.

Xanatos stares down at him, barely concealing a glare.

"Oh, please leave him alone," echoes the voice of Feemor. He stops next to them, joining their circle. "Xanatos. Grandpa," he greets them with practiced politeness.

"I see you've finally decided to come back home," Dooku comments, a smug brow raised. "Life treating you well over there, I assume. Seeing as it's been quite some time since you were back in Coruscant."

"As a matter of fact; it is."

They chat for a while. Not for the sake of being nice and catching up, but just to be polite. If polite is an accurate word for it at all. The passive aggressiveness is thick in the air, lacing each word. It’s exhausting to listen to. Obi-Wan understands well why his father kept him away from them as much as he did.

Obi-Wan merely watches the three of them talk, occasionally nodding his head, not really ,paying attention to what’s being said.. Anakin keeps himself tucked into his leg. but seems to be much more comfortable now that he's not under Dooku and Xanatos' heavy gaze.

“—but hey, maybe this is a good thing. The rescue takes on his own rescue. Poetic, really. Dad never could turn down a stray.”

“Xanatos—”

“He always was too sympathetic for his own good. And see how you repaid hi—”

“That’s enough!”

Obi-Wan stumbles over his own feet as Feemor drags him away, Anakin’s grip on his hand tightening as he tries to keep up with the two men. Obi-Wan has never seen Feemor look so furious as he does now. Eyes dark and expression stone cold. It’s unnerving in a way. Feemor has always been the kind and soft-spoken one. Similar to their dad in a lot of ways.

They come to a stop a few tabled down. Feemor’s anger melts away, replaced with a sad smile. “Don’t listen to them, Obi,” he says. “Xanatos is just bitter and petty because he can be.”

Obi-Wan nods and swallows thickly.

Feemor looks down at Anakin, a soft smile gracing his lips. “You must be Anakin,” he says, extending his hand to the little boy. “Nice to meet you, little man. I’m your uncle Feemor.”

Anakin only looks at the outstretched hand, clutching the material of Obi-Wan’s black suit in his hands. Feemor huffs in amusement, turning his gaze back up to Obi-Wan.

“He’s a shy one.”

Obi-Wan clears his throat. “Only sometimes.”

The older man laughs. Anakin shifts next to him.

“I’m sorry about…” His expression turns sad. “I heard it was bad.”

Obi-Wan nods woefully, eyes downcast and lips pursed. He doesn’t trust himself to speak. Doesn’t even protest when Feemor pulls him into a hug, wrapping his arms around him.

“It’s going to be alright, you’ll see,” He murmurs with a sigh. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. You’re the best of all of us, you know. Dad would be so proud.”

And just like that Obi-Wan sags into the embrace, burying his face in Feemor’s suit. He only holds him tighter when he weeps into the fabric. It’s pitiful and undignified, but the hollowness of Obi-Wan’s heart feels easier to carry in that moment.

It’s so easy to believe Feemor in that moment, and Obi-Wan clings to it.

-

Obi-Wan isn’t sure how long they wait before he hears the siren. Qui-Gon’s breathing has become shallow and he hasn’t shown any signs of waking up. At some point Obi-Wan started shivering. He’s not sure when, or exactly why. He might be in shock, he thinks.

He hears the commotion of the emergency workers reaching the other car. He hopes they’re okay. He would call out if he felt like he could.

He hears talking, but it’s hard to make out the words.

“Dad?” he whispers, voice hoarse and grating. He coughs, eyes watering.

Next thing he knows he’s being pulled out of the wreckage. There are hands on him and they’re asking questions he doesn’t understand. It all happens in a blur. Then he’s being strapped down to a bed.

“Can you tell us your name, sir?”

Obi-Wan blinks, vision blurry from being moved. His eyes land on a dark haired man.

“Your name, sir. Can you tell us?”

“Obi-Wan,” he says, voice barely above a whisper, teeth chattering. “Kenobi. Obi-Wan Kenobi.”

“That’s good, Obi-Wan. Can you tell me who was in the car with you?”

When Obi-Wan turns his head he sees a group of paramedics pulling an unconscious Qui-Gon out of the car and strapping him down to a bed like the one Obi-Wan lies on. Something in his chest squeezes painfully in his chest at the sight, a surge of anxiety bubbling up from within.

“Qui-Gon,” he says, breath hitching. “My father. Qui-Gon Jinn. He needs— He needs help—”

“They’ll take good care of your father, Obi-Wan. Just relax and let us do our job.”

Obi-Wan gasps for breath. It’s as though something heavy is pressing down onto his chest. Like there’s something blocking his airways. His head swims and his stomach churns as he’s loaded into the back of the ambulance.

He only gets a glance at Qui-Gon before the door is shut and they drive off.

-

The next few days pass by monotonously. Anakin seems to be adjusting well to his new life, much to Obi-Wan’s relief. He talks animatedly about his day every day when he comes home from school. Obi-Wan spends his days trying to catch up on his classes.

It almost feels like things are going to be okay.

Qui-Gon’s room remains untouched. Door ajar, sitting there like a painful reminder. Ominous almost. If he felt like he could bear it - that he wouldn’t risk getting a look inside - he would at least close the door properly.

He should probably start cleaning it out. He can’t sleep on the sofa forever.

His phone vibrates, loud against the wooden table. Obi-Wan startles. He thinks about just letting it ring like he always does until he sees who’s calling him.

Anakin’s school.

But why would they call him?

He swears his heart skips a beat as he picks up.

“Hello?”

“Hello. Is this Anakin’s father?”

Obi-Wan hesitates for a moment. Technically he is. In all the legal ways. But Anakin has never called him anything but Obi or Obi-Wan.

Still, he says, “Yes.”

“This is Anakin’s teacher, Shaak Ti.”

“Did something happen?”

“Anakin got in a fight with one of his classmates and he appears to have run away. We can’t find him anywhere near school grounds.”

He what?

Obi-Wan’s heart stops. It’s like time freezes around him. He even stops breathing for a moment.

“We already have our staff searching for him, but we were hoping you could come here too.”

“I… Yes, of course! I’ll be there right away.”

Shaak lets out a relieved breath. “Thank you.”

With shaking hands he lowers the cellphone from his ear.

What if something terrible happened to Anakin? What if he’s hurt? What if he got lost and can’t find his way back? He’s not familiar with Coruscant yet. He never even left Tatooine before he came to Coruscant. Anything could have happened. Coruscant is big and dangerous.

Obi-Wan has no idea how to deal with anything Anakin related normally. How is he expected to act now? Is this what being a parent is like? Being so terrified you feel like you’re going to die?

He’s only had Anakin for a few weeks. Surely if something has happened they’re going to take him from him. They were right to be sceptical of him. He’s not fit to take care of a child. The thought of Anakin being taken away from him now… It’s unbearable. He can’t lose him too. Not now.

He scrolls through his contacts until he lands on Bant. His finger only wavers over the call button for a second.

“Obi-Wan? How are you? I haven’t heard from you in a while—”

“It’s Anakin. He— He—””

“What happened?” She sounds worried now. Suddenly serious.

“They said he got in a fight or— or something. I don’t— They can’t find him. He ran away and they can’t find him, Bant! What if he’s hurt?”

“Okay. Relax, Obi-Wan. It’s gonna be fine. I’ll call the others, and then I’ll come pick you up and we’ll find him. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“We’ll find him, Obi.”

-

Obi-Wan can’t breathe. He’s been sitting next to the bed for at least twenty minutes, not doing anything. He’s dimly aware of the nurse standing behind him, watching him.

It’s the first time he’s got to see his father since...since the car.

He looks better. Without all the blood. He looks almost normal. It’s almost like… It’s like he’s just sleeping.

His hand trembles as he reaches for his father’s limp hand. It lacks its usual warmth, but Obi-Wan squeezes it lovingly anyway. There’s no steady heartbeat beneath his fingertips.

The realisation that he’s never going to see him again - not properly. Not alive. - hits hard. It drops onto him with the weight of a building. Crushing him under the rubble.

Obi-Wan Kenobi knows loss. He knows loss very well. But it does not make it any less heartbreaking. It does not make the pain any easier to bear.

“Da-ad… Oh, dad…”

Carefully, he brushes a strand of hair away from the man’s face. His eyes cloud with tears, he chokes back a sob. Grief heavy on his heart, he gives in. Cradling his father’s hand to his face, he cries. Pitiful and miserable.

Broken rib. Collapsed lung. Head trauma. Coupled up with bad weather, slippery roads and the impact with the other vehicle it had all been one unfortunate accident. One that cost him his father.

He doesn’t know much of the specifics, but he hopes he at least wasn’t in too much pain. He can’t bear the thought of it.

This is the man who took him in. Who gave him a home. Who took care of him. The man who raised him. The man who loved him. Unconditionally. And the man he loved— still loves.

Guilt claws at his insides. Ugly and suffocating. Like a thick blanket, enveloping his whole being. Shameful thoughts poison his subconscious.

It should’ve been him. It should’ve been him. It should’ve…

It’s of no use. Not now. Not ever.

But Obi-Wan feels like a part of his soul has been ripped away. That some irreparable part of him has been broken beyond repair. Taken away from him by that other car and his sloppy driving. Like some cruel punishment from the world itself.

He sits there until his throat is sore and his eyes red.

-

The rain is pouring down in buckets. Obi-Wan is soaked to the bone. Absolutely sopping wet. Still, Obi-Wan can’t quite bring himself to regret not picking up an umbrella when the first drizzle came. Anakin is still out there. Cold, wet and lost.

They’ve managed to narrow it down to a nearby forest. With the help of some teachers and some of their friends.

His phone died twelve minutes ago. If they find him before he does Obi-Wan hopes he can hear them yell for him. If he can hear anything from the deafening sound of downpour.

Obi-Wan’s teeth clenches to stop them from chattering. His shoes make squelching sounds for each step he takes. He pushes his hair away from his face.

And that's when he sees him. Sitting under a tree, protected from the pouring rain by the leaves. Sitting against the tree, arms wrapped around his knees. Obi-Wan's heart skips a beat.

"Anakin!"

The little boy's eyes snap up to him, surprise and relief colouring his features. "Dad!" He exclaims, scrambling to his feet in a mess of limbs.

Obi-Wan barely has time to even acknowledge that before he’s running. Running faster than he's ever ran before. He practically crashes to his knees in front of Anakin pulling him into a tight embrace. "Anakin," he whispers, voice cracking slightly. His heart warms with affection. "Don't ever do that again."

"I'm sorry–"

Obi-Wan pulls away, giving Anakin a thorough once-over. "Are you hurt?" he asks, trembling hands patting him down. Nervous eyes flit across his features. His hands land on his cheeks, cold and wet, but comforting.

"I'm okay," Anakin tells him.

Before he can say anything else Obi-Wan pulls him into a hug again. He grips the fabric of Anakin's jumper as if the boy will vanish into thin air if he lets go. His other hand buries itself in his hair, securely holding his head against his shoulder. Even though his fingers are cold and numb, Obi-Wan doesn't let go.

Anakin tentatively wraps his arms around the older man, burying himself in the safety of Obi-Wan's embrace. Even though Obi-Wan's clothes are soaked through, and he's cold, Anakin doesn't let go. When he feels the man shaking against him, and hears him sniffle into his hair, he only holds him tighter.

“You scared me,” Obi-Wan murmurs. “Why didn’t you tell me you were struggling?”

“I didn’t want to worry you. You’re so sad and tired all the time.”

Obi-Wan could swear his heart breaks a little at that.

“Oh, dear. It’s my responsibility to take care of you. You mustn’t ever feel that you can’t come to me.”

Anakin is quiet for a while. “Okay.”

Around them the rain pitter patters against the leaves.

“You’re cold.”

Obi-Wan chuckles. “Yeah.”

“You’re gonna get sick.”

“It’ll be fine.”

Behind him boots splash in the puddles. Obi-Wan thinks he might hear yelling, but it’s hard to hear over the rainfall.

“Obi-Wan.” There’s a hand on his shoulder. “It’s time to go.”

Obi-Wan untangles himself from Anakin and comes face to face with Mace Windu. The man holds a black umbrella over him, protecting him and them from the rain.

“We’ve got a car waiting just outside the forest. Now come here before you get yourself both sicker than you already are. Qui-Gon would never forgive me if I let you two sit out here any longer.”

-

The warmth of the house is welcome. His clothes are still dripping by the time he steps in the door. He’s not sure he’s ever been so relieved to be home. He sighs as he closes the door behind him.

When he takes off his shoes his socks leave wet footprints on the hardwood floor. Anakin tip toes around his footprints to get into the living room, giggling quietly to himself as he does.

He gets Anakin out of his clothes and into a pair of warm, dry pajamas. Then he hops into the shower, the warm water doing wonders for his cold and aching muscles. When he steps out of the bathroom he feels marginally better.

“Ani?”

Anakin is not in the living room. He’s not in the kitchen either. Obi-Wan tries not to worry. He wouldn’t have left the house. He’s probably in his room. Before he gets time to start worrying he sets foot for the corridor.

And sure as day, there he is. Wearing some scarf Obi-Wan doesn’t recognise. Standing in the doorway of Qui-Gon’s bedroom. Obi-Wan swallows thickly and ambles up to him. When he’s behind him he places a hand in the boy’s hair and gazes into the bedroom.

“You never go in here.”

Obi-Wan hums.

“You’re scared.”

Anakin isn’t dumb. Of course he would notice. Kids are never stupid, no matter how hard you pretend they are. It was only a matter of time before he would be confronted about his little charade he’s been putting up.

“Maybe,” Anakin murmurs. “If we cleaned up in here you wouldn’t be so scared anymore.” He looks up at him, hopeful and young.

Obi-Wan clears his throat. “Yeah,” he agrees. “Maybe.”

Anakin walks into the room, inspecting the room with curious eyes. Then he grabs an almost empty box laying by the bed and starts putting things in it. “We did this when my mom died,” he says quietly. “She didn’t have as much stuff as your dad though.”

Awkwardly, almost clumsily, Obi-Wan walks into the room too, sitting down on the other side of the box. He picks up a discarded sweater from the floor and inspects it - He was always the messier of the two of them. Feels the fabric on his skin. It still smells like him. Even after all these weeks.

“You can keep some of it if you want,” Anakin says then. “They let me keep some of mom’s things.” He fiddles with the scarf for a moment. “This used to be hers. It makes me feel better when I miss her.”

Obi-Wan feels a pang of sympathy in his chest. Once again reminded of how much this little child has been through. Oh, what he’d do to make all that pain go away. He’d gladly take it all on himself if he could. If it meant he would never have to feel such heartbreak in his life ever again.

“You should try it on,” Anakin suggests.

Obi-Wan pulls the sweater over his head. He has a second where he can’t quite find the hole for the right arm, but he quickly figures it out. He catches a glimpse of himself in the floor-length mirror and he can’t help but laugh. The sweater is massive on him. Practically swallows him whole. Qui-Gon had always been a quite large man, but to see it like this…

Anakin laughs too. “You look small,” he says between giggles. “You’ll grow into it. That’s what mom always said, at least.”

He won’t, but he doesn’t say anything about it.

He rolls up the sleeves and picks up a framed picture from the dresser.

“Wow, you used to be small,” Anakin comments, pointing to the small redheaded child standing next to a younger Qui-Qon. “I didn’t know Mr Qui-Gon very well, but he seemed like a nice man. And a good dad.”

Obi-Wan sniffles. “He was.”

“I’ve never had a dad before,” Anakin explains, studying the picture. “I was really happy when Mr Qui-Gon said he would be mine - like, really happy - but I think you’re doing a pretty good job at it too.”

Obi-Wan’s lips quirk upwards, into a sort of lipsides and awkward smile.

“Do you miss him? Your dad.”

Obi-Wan nods. “Very much.”

“I miss my mom too. It’s okay to be sad about it. It just means it meant something.”

Obi-Wan feels like he’s been crying a lot lately, but it seems like this is what finally breaks the dam. Anakin only places a hand on his arm as he muffles his sobs in the long sleeves of Qui-Gon’s sweater. Slowly he sinks back onto the floor, back against the bed.

He feels very much like that small, scared child he used to be at this moment. The small, scared child who didn’t know how the world worked yet. Who didn’t know what to do or how to do anything. The small, scared child who worried about everything. But maybe he just never actually stopped being that child.

Anakin presses himself up against his side, leaning his head on his shoulder. It’s such a small thing, but it makes him feel infinitely better. Like things might be okay after all. And it will be, he reminds himself. It will just take some time.

Just close your eyes

Soon we'll be home

Fall asleep to the radio

Strangers pass by

Red, green and gold

I wonder what they're all waiting for

#reblogs appreciated <3 #star wars #star wars prequels #star wars the clone wars #sw au #sw tcw #tcw #the clone wars #sw modern au #sw #sw fic #sw fanfic #obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #shaak ti #mace windu #count dooku #feemor #xanatos #qui gon jinn #fics #my fics #mine

[stonefreeak]

I hope everyone is doing well in these times. My hands are still giving me trouble, and life never seems to calm down, but at least I have this! I hope this fic can bring you all some joy in these times! <3

The Senate may have been a bust, and unfortunately the scene of the crime isn't shaping up to be much better. Quinlan had hoped that he'd stumble upon something his fellow Jedi had missed, however unlikely, but no such luck materialises as they move through the damaged rooms in the roped off area.

Quinlan hates not finding anything new. He doesn't like the way the whole investigation is slowing down. Even though they found the assassin, she's already been killed. Even though her guild is helping with the investigation... Their primary weapon, so to speak, has yet to bring any sort of results.

Not that Quinlan wasn't already aware that finding a single person in a sea of people like the Senate would be difficult, especially considering all the aides and extra personnel moving about, but he'd still had some hopes. As it is, he'll just go bother Kenobi a bit to get his mind off of everything.

Besides, it'll be good to see him up and about. Last Quinlan saw him, he was in a bacta tank and entirely unresponsive.

"Where are we going now, Van?" La says, anxiety bleeding into the Force around her.

Quinlan gives her a lazy grin. "I'm going to go visit an old friend of mine. You're just coming along."

She rolls her eyes, but Quinlan doesn't pay that any mind. He's got Kenobi to bother.

~~~~

"By the Force, what are you doing here?" Obi-Wan looks extremely tired, but in a good way. In a way that's not "dying or close to death".

"Well, you know, La and I decided to get investigating, but we didn't find much. So I figured I'd pay you a visit!" He gives Kenobi a huge smile and takes more than a little pleasure in the arch look he receives in turn.

"Pleasure to meet you, La," Obi-Wan says, no doubt ignoring Quinlan now.

La, of course, is discomfited and anxious. No doubt she doesn't want to be anywhere near the Supreme Chancellor and all of his Clone Trooper bodyguards. Especially not when she's out in the open and they can see her.

"Pleasure," she says, voice faint.

Shaking his head and rubbing his eyes, Obi-Wan sighs. "Well, I hate to be a bad host, but I'm afraid I'm swamped. I'm sure you can find some ways to enjoy yourself on your own. Please don't make a nuisance of yourself and let me get on with my work."

Quinlan grins. "I'm sure we can. Especially considering all the plants you've got here. Want me to see if I can tell who sent them to you?"

"Plausible deniability, thank you." Kenobi doesn't even look up from his datapad.

Quinlan shrugs and turns his attention to the rest of the room instead. There's sure to be some interesting things to be found in here, especially since some of it is left-over from when Palpatine was still the Supreme Chancellor. Maybe there is some dirt to dig up from his stuff!

Quinlan closes his eyes and stretches out his senses with the Force, seeking anything of interest. Sometimes you can find stuff like that just through the Force before you even touch it at all.

There's a sense of.. chill in the room, and a sense of danger from farther inside. Frowning, Quinlan opens his eyes and starts moving towards the direction of the cold first.

It's... a chalice, of some sort. Not especially pretty to look at, and with not much in the way of distinguishing features.

"What is it, Van?" La murmurs, stepping in closer.

"There's something about this thing..." Quinlan isn't sure how to explain it to someone who doesn't have the Force. The fact that this thing feels cold in a way that isn't in the temperature sense is... Well, if Quinlan didn't have the Force he would probably think someone trying to explain it was crazy. After all, most people can't feel the way this thing seems to make you feel cold in your spirit because most people, people who aren't Force Sensitive, simply can't feel their own spirit. Can't feel their connection to the Force and the galaxy around them.

"Is it some Force mumbo-jumbo that I can't hope to understand?" La does the togrutan equivalent of a raised eyebrow and Quinlan lets out a small laugh. Despite the fact that she's a frustrating and closed-mouthed assassin, Quinlan finds himself liking La. He tries not to think too much about it, because they're hardly going to be able to be friends...

Then again, she'll most likely be a useful contact to have in the galactic underworld. And if he helps her find the person who hired and murdered her colleague, she and the Hissleet Endai might become very useful allies in the future... If... Not exactly the kind of allies you speak about in polite company.

But Quinlan is pretty much never in polite company anyway, so it hardly matters to him.

"If I say that this thing makes me experience a chill in my spirit, as if it's cold in a way that has nothing to do with temperature... Does that make sense to you or do I sound nuts?"

La makes a face. "I mean... I suppose it makes sense, in a way, but you also sound crazy."

Quinlan throws his head back in a laugh and shakes his head. Fair enough, he thinks. That's not so bad, it could be far worse than that.

Still... There's something about this thing. Where has Kenobi gotten it? Of course, considering Obi-Wan is sitting right over there, Quinlan can just ask him. Sure, Obi-Wan might have asked him to not make a bother of himself, but eh, this seems important. Even if it's possibly only important in the way of settling Quinlan's curiosity.

"Hey, Kenobi!" he calls out, leaning back slightly to try and see him from behind a large bush. Seriously, the number of plants in this office is ridiculous. Quinlan always thought it was Master Jinn who was crazy about plants, not Obi-Wan.

"What is it?" Man, Kenobi doesn't have to sound so tired and put upon.

La looks torn between amusement and horror. She's probably still not sure how to react to Quinlan's very much casual relationship with the Supreme Chancellor of the Galactic Republic.

"This chalice thing! Where did you get it?"

As Quinlan watches, Obi-Wan freezes. Well now, isn't that an interesting reaction?

"What about it? It was here when I took over the office, it's part of the objects confiscated from former Chancellor Palpatine."

Well now, isn't that just a most delicious little morsel of information. Quinlan grins.

"Well, you've felt it, haven't you?" He's not going to let Kenobi play dumb about this. There's no way Obi-Wan Kenobi, one of the youngest Masters of the High Council in recent times and a well regarded Jedi Master hasn't been able to feel the weird vibes this thing is sending out.

"... I have. I wasn't sure if I was only imagining it, and I have no idea where it comes from. There are no records of information about it to be found, I'm afraid."

So it was Palpatine's before Obi-Wan commandeered his offices and that's all they know about it. That really is interesting. How does a regular man, no more Force Sensitive than any other random person, somehow get his hands on something as interesting as this? Not just that, but also decides to place them in a prominent position in their offices to boot. It's not exactly pretty or valuable looking, it’s not made from precious metals and there are no valuable stones...

Why did Palpatine have something like this on display?

Quinlan's not going to ask him, because if Palpatine is hiding something then he doesn't want to tip his hand... Well, he'll need to look into Palpatine more. Well, as soon as the investigation results come in and they know how well off he's gotten on the whole deal with the corruption charges. Because even if he gets off easy, that doesn't mean that he doesn't have other skeletons in his closet. It just means that whatever bodies remain, they're very well buried indeed.

Of course, there's nothing that says for sure that investigating Palpatine will be worth his time. After all, an investigation into his conduct was just concluded and is going to trial in just a few days' time. He doesn't think that they could have missed that much, could they?

Unless... Well, the investigation was into his professional conduct, not his personal business, wasn't it?

It's an interesting food for thought if nothing else. He'll run it by the council later when he gives his report. That way they'll know the outcome of the already ongoing investigation and they can take some time to consider whether or not another investigation would be worth it. Better have them make the decisions than Quinlan. At least that way, they can't blame him if it blows up in their faces!

Rolling his shoulders, Quinlan starts looking around the office again. Maybe he should go search for whatever is giving off that warning feeling. Though again, he doubts Kenobi has missed it, and if he hasn't done anything about it yet...

Eh, he'll have to see when he finds it. Maybe he'll get something through his psychometry.

—

(Supreme Chancellor Obi-Wan Kenobi masterpost)

#Supreme Chancellor Obi Wan Kenobi #star wars #my writing #Quinlan Vos #obi wan kenobi #update

[unlucky-rubber-ducky]

Lucky

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Reader (Reader uses she/her!)

1008 words

Summary/warnings: Kinda sad. As always, fluffy. I don’t think I’m capable of writing anything else, honestly.

A/n: Hi! Please let me know if anyone would want me to re-do this with different pronouns and gendered language. I usually try to keep things as inclusive as I can, but I just wanted to use ‘pretty girl’, honestly. But yes, thank you so much for reading! I absolutely adore hearing from everyone!

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You had yet to open your eyes, but the bustle you could hear just beyond the tent you had built out of the remains of a farmhouse suggested it might be time to get up. The patter of rain hadn’t let up since you had first arrived on the Maker-forsaken planet, and you felt like you hadn’t been truly dry in a week. This was made even worse when you rolled onto your back and right into a puddle.

If you weren’t so determined to get off this planet with your dignity intact, you would have cried. But you definitely got close.

You stayed there, in the puddle, feeling it soak through your cloak and into your robes. Another leak in your tent startled you by dripping freezing water right in between your eyebrows, and that was officially it. You rolled back to your side, facing away from the makeshift front door. You were sure you looked pathetic- curled up in the fetal position, water dripping into your hair, shivering both from the cold, and the effort it took not to cry. You didn’t even notice the footsteps coming up to your tent.

“Master (Y/n)?” It was almost odd to hear him use such a formal title. His crisp Coruscanti accent was much more often used to whisper pet names in your ear.

You didn’t respond. Obi-Wan knew he was always welcome, whether it be your quarters at the temple or a rickety shelter built in no more than ten minutes. He was only keeping up appearances around the clones, who you were pretty sure were well aware of the nature of you and Obi-Wan’s relationship, but you appreciated the effort. Or, you would if you cared at all at the moment.

He waited another second before stepping inside, and it took him another second to spot your small figure curled up on a makeshift bed.

“As the clones say, up and at em’, pretty girl.” He paused. “Well, I suppose I hope the clones aren’t calling you pretty girl, but the first bit, at least.”

You couldn’t help a watery laugh.

“It’s only you, Obi.” You finally uncurled yourself and sat up, looking up at your lover-of-sorts. If he hadn’t noticed your frankly miserable presence in the Force, he certainly took notice of your red-rimmed eyes. (He couldn’t help but admit to himself that you looked quite adorable, though he recognized this as not the moment to mention it.) “I, uh, got my clothes wet.”

He sat down across from you, taking your hands in his calloused ones.

“Are you okay, little one?”

You let out another laugh, though it held no humor. It was one of sheer disbelief that this was now your life, and it made Obi-Wan’s heart clench. He understood the feeling. He hadn’t been raised as a general. None of the Jedi had, no matter how well some of them fit that role.

“I’m fine. I just hate how soggy this place is.” You tried to smile, to soothe Obi-Wan’s worry, but you just couldn’t bring yourself to lie to him. “I’m just tired. Nothing I haven’t said before.”

There was a part, scratch that, a majority of Obi-Wan that wanted to whisk you away from everything- the planet, the war, the Jedi even. You were kind. A warm, joyous, soft, innocent kind and it broke Obi-Wan’s heart every time he could sense you hurting through the Force and yet could do nothing about it. At least, not without risk of appearing suspicious.

“I know.” He tried to give you the most sincere look he could. In his eyes you saw the weight of the whole galaxy- every innocent life taken, every soldier lost under his command. You shared a profound sadness that was unique from other Jedi only in that it was shared. You supposed you would consider yourself lucky in that regard; you weren’t suffering alone, forced to sneak under shadow of night to some seedy lower-level Coruscant club to ease the touch starved ache.

Obi-Wan leaned forward to press a lingering kiss to your forehead. I love you, it said. I can’t promise to ever scream that love from the rooftops, but I will always love you. He sat back and you gazed at him again, enraptured by the man who tried so hard for everyone.

You copied his movements from earlier, though you kissed his lips, rather than his forehead. You tried to pour every ounce of your love and pride and joy and understanding for him into the Force, thanking the Maker you were the only Force sensitive beings nearby at the moment.

“I love you too, Obi.” And you did. You loved him when he couldn’t meet your eyes while you were giving a report to the council, lest his emotions get just a little too intense; you loved him when he smiled at you over a table in a dark corner of a dark lounge; you loved him in the rushed moments when you emerged from a random closet looking rather disheveled, and Obi-Wan had to wear his robes extra high on his neck in order to cover the marks you had left on his neck.

It was only when a smirk rose on Obi-Wan’s face that you realized you had still been projecting your thoughts into the Force.

“Sorry, Obi.”

“I’m never upset to be reminded of how pretty you are.” You giggled. “There she is.” 

He gave you a soft, real smile. Nothing was fixed or mended- you still had to love each other in the shadows, and there were still thousands dying in a seemingly endless war around you, but as Obi-Wan pulled you up to your feet and into one last hug before facing the world outside, you were quite sure you could handle the rain.

#obi-wan #obi-wan x reader #obi-wan x y/n #x reader #obi-wan fanfic #obi-wan fanfiction #obi wan #obi wan x reader #obi wan fluff #obi wan reader insert #obi-wan reader insert #star wars fanfic #star wars fanfiction #star wars reader insert

[padme-parker]

no regrets [AU!Anakin Skywalker x Reader]

Summary: You leave Anakin, only a letter in your place.

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: some swear words I think, angst, mentions of cancer, some fluff if you look hard enough, this is pretty fucking cliche btw!

A/N: so I was listening to Lewis Capaldi’s discography and that shit was so sad. Like all of his songs are so fucking sad that it inspired me to write this. Mainly the songs: “Forever”, “Fade.”, “Before You Go.” and “Headspace.” (I highly suggest listening to his songs while ur reading!) along with a handful of songs I was listening to while writing this. Also this is my first time uploading my writing so forgive me if it's all over the place. I was just excited to write this lol.

The thumping of the bass made his ears ring, that’s the first thing Anakin noticed when he got home. He was totally and completely shitfaced, drunk out of his mind. The next thing he noticed was the deafening silence. Sure, it was midnight but he knew how much of a night owl you were. He also knew how much you loved to paint at night, a slight breeze from the open window, and music quietly playing in the background. Loud enough just to be heard by the two of you, quiet enough so he could hear the stroke of your brush against the canvas. Oftentimes he would come up behind you, lightly grasping your hips and began to sway along to the music. And some nights he would just sit back and watch you. However tonight wasn’t one of those nights. Tonight would be different, and the next night, and the night after that. Anakin walked towards the bedroom, careful not to wake you just in case you were asleep. When he walked into the room, his eyes immediately searched for you, but landed upon emptiness, that’s when it caught his attention. The last thing he noticed was the envelope placed upon his pillow. 

Grasping the envelope, Anakin took out its content. It was a letter, just for his eyes.

Dear Anakin,

By the time you read this, I’ll be gone. Believe me, I wish I could’ve done this in person but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. As I write this letter, you’ll be out celebrating with Obi Wan and Padme. Enjoying life, that’s what you should be doing. And I know it must be shitty to come home to this, but I just couldn’t leave while you were still here. There were so many things I wanted to tell you, but I couldn’t. But you deserve to know this.

The truth is, I don’t love you anymore, Anakin. I’m not sure when I fell out of love with you, but the one thing I knew was that I couldn’t stay and drag you down with me. Sometimes I wonder how we got here, how I got us here. Then I remembered why, him. In the past six months I met someone else. At first we were just friends. But there was something between us, a connection. The second I laid eyes on him, I knew that he was the one I was supposed to spend the rest of my life with. Yet, there you were. Anakin, you were- and still are my world, but he’s my whole fucking universe. Without him I feel like I’d cease to exist. Each day, the more I fell in love with him, the more I fell out of love with you. Until one day, I came to my senses and realized what the hell I was doing. All those days I spent with him, coming home late at night, you never questioned me. Stars Anakin, I’m so sorry I took advantage of your trust. I never thought we’d end up like this. I never thought this would happen.

You deserve to be happy. But we both know that’s not something I can give you. You deserve to be able to move on without ever having to see me again. That’s why I’ve decided to leave. Not just move out of the apartment, or town, but move out of state altogether. Please don’t come looking for me.

I want you to know that none of this is your fault. Anakin, I love you so much, but we’re just not meant to be. You were my epic love, not my soulmate. But remember, you’re still someone who had a huge impact on my life. I don’t think I could ever forget you, nor do I think that I want to. I know that even on my deathbed, I’ll be thinking of you.

Forever Yours,

Y/N

P.S. take the time you need Anakin, but don’t get hung up on me. There are people out there who love you, you just don’t see it yet.

He let out a sharp breath, dropping the letter, and began to sob. For the next hour, all he could do was cry. He struggled to breathe, he couldn’t believe what he was reading. What did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong? Was I not enough? He wanted to scream, but chose not to, sparing his neighbors from hearing his sorrows. Anakin was spiraling, he was heaving now. Struggling to breathe he crawled out of his room and into the living room. Your painting materials still left in the corner, easel propped up, and miscellaneous pieces of art scattered across his home.

Anakin couldn’t escape from you, you were unknowingly ripping the air out of his lungs. Everywhere he looked, he was reminded of you. It was ironic really, how was he supposed to move on if he had to see everything that reminded him of you.

-

A couple of years passed since you disappeared from Anakin’s life. He had moved on but deep down inside he never really did recover. He was sad at first, but then became angry. How could you use him like this? But of course, like you promised, there were people there for him. Obi Wan and Padme had always been there for him, especially Padme. She was the first one to check up on him when he wasn’t returning their calls. The first to get him to stop crying, the first to cheer him up, the first to get him to go out again, and the first person to say “I love you.” since you’d left. Anakin had felt like he was betraying you, he had fallen in love with someone who wasn’t you, but then he remembered what you did and said. He had the right to move on with someone else.

When Anakin felt like he was ready, six month after your breakup, he asked Padme to be his girlfriend. A year and a half later, he asked her to spend the rest of her life with him. Nine months later, they welcomed their twins into the world.

Both Obi Wan and Padme had been there by his side, along with Dean. He met Dean at the bar, both of them looking like shit. It started with a simple nod, then their small group of three now had four people. Dean became close to Obi Wan and Padme too, helping Anakin to return to his life before you left. It was going well until today.

Anakin moved out of his old apartment a long time ago. He donated most of your belongings and sold your paintings. Except for one. It was a painting that the two of you had created together. A minimal black outline of your silhouettes from your favorite photo together. Simple, but it had meaning to it. The picture itself was taken at a party, a drink in your hand while Anakins was thrown over your shoulder. You were smiling at the camera, drink aimed towards it. However, Anakin was looking at you, a big goofy smile on his face. If there was one memory of you he wanted to keep, it was that one. So instead of selling the painting, he kept it. Obviously he didn’t hang it up, instead he kept in it buried deep inside his closet. Only taking it out whenever he really missed you.

Even though he kept the painting, every aspect of you was completely erased. It’s like you never existed to him. Instead of lining the halls with pictures of the two of you, they were filled with pictures of Anakin and Padme. A small polaroid of them on their first date. A picture at the bar of Anakin, Padme, Obi Wan, and Dean. A bunch of wedding pictures. And finally, pictures of his family. He’d memorized every corner of his new home, never wanting to forget about it because he knew at any given moment, his life could be ripped from his fingers. Everything had been ingrained into his memory, from the toys scattered across the floor to the pristine kitchen. Where Padme was currently making dinner, “Hey Ani, you’ve got some mail, I put it on the table.” He walked towards the table and picked up the envelope, he could recognize your handwriting. Anakin felt like the world was playing a sick joke on him, after all these years, why would you write back now?

“Hey Padme, I’m gonna go change real quick.” He didn’t wait for Padme’s reply before he ran off to his closet, he knew he needed to be alone when he read its contents. Locking the door, he ripped open the envelope and took out your letter.

Anakin,

I know I’m probably the last person you want to hear from, but you deserve to know the truth. The real reason as to why I left. By the time you read this, I’ll be dead. Remember how I told you that I had met someone new? That was a lie. In those six month, I was at multiple doctors' offices getting tested. I knew something was wrong with me but none of the doctors could tell me why. Until one was able to. I had stage 3 ovarian cancer, the chances of me surviving were low. That’s why I left.

Anakin’s eyes went wide, the paper shaking in his hands. “Cancer… she has..” he whispered to himself, he could feel the tears starting to roll down his face. All this time, he hated her for something she never did.

I knew how much you wanted to have a family, and it was something I wanted to give you. But when I found out that I couldn’t do that, I knew you’d be crushed. This was something we both had dreamed of. It was easier for me to make up a lie. I wouldn’t allow myself to put the both of us through this pain. You shouldn’t have to bear my burdens. I wasn’t going to let you waste your life away trying to take care of me. So I hid the truth from you and left like a coward. Understand that I needed you to hate me, Anakin. That you wouldn’t come looking for me or just expect me to come back one day. Even though I did want to come back, I had to hold myself back. I knew you were going to move on eventually.

Do you remember the guy I was talking about? The one who I was so “madly in love with” that I left you? Yeah, well his name is Dean, He’s one of the nurses who was taking care of me during those six months, and for the past couple years he’s been my eyes. Anakin, I never fell out of love with you. Even as I lay on my deathbed, you’re all I can think about.

Dean says that you’ve moved on and married Padme. I’m going to be honest, at first I was shocked and a little sad. But then I remembered why I did this in the first place. Anakin, I’ve seen the way she looks at you. Even when we were still together I could tell how much love she had for you. She didn’t act on her feelings because I was still there, which I’m grateful for. But once I left, she saw the opportunity to comfort you, so she did. You looked at me like I was your whole world, but Padme, she looks at you like your her whole damn universe. Truth is, you weren’t my world, you’re my fucking universe Anakin, even if you don’t know it. You weren’t just my epic love, to me, you were my soulmate. But you and Padme? The two of you are soulmates, made for eachother. Dean has shown me pictures of the two of you. I’ve never seen you so happy, even when we were together. I know she brings out a side of you that I was never able to.

There was a point where I was getting better and I wanted to come back. To apologize and maybe try again, but Dean advised against doing so. At that moment in time, you had just proposed to Padme. Who was I to come back into your life just to take away your happiness? So I watched from afar. I watched as you went on with your life and completely forgot about me. And I did it with a smile on my face, because you were happy. Anakin, simply knowing that you were happy and content with your life made me happy, even if I wasn’t the cause of it. For a while, I was better. Then it got worse, my cancer got more aggressive. From there, I was condemned in my own home.

As the months went on, I got more sick and closer to death. After your wedding, Dean came over to my place and showed me videos of you and Padme. I couldn’t help but let out a few tears, you were getting everything you wanted. I really wish I could’ve been there to see you, Ani, but I wouldn’t want to ruin your wedding. I was so ecstatic for you when I’d heard that you were having a child! Twins nonetheless, you must’ve been radiating joy. I really am happy for you Anakin. I only wanted the best for you.

Do you remember the night on the rooftop? You cooked dinner for us on our two year anniversary. It was the most romantic thing anyone had done for me. Do you also remember what we promised to each other? “No regrets.” As simple as it was, I broke our promise, Ani. I regret not telling you. I regret leaving you. I regret ever hurting you. Anakin, I am deeply sorry for any pain I’ve caused you. But if I hadn’t left, you wouldn’t be where you are right now. Do you regret not looking for me?

Anakin stopped reading for a second to think, did he regret how things played out? He wiped his tears before continuing,

Don’t get me wrong, I would’ve loved to stay with you, Anakin, but I couldn’t let myself. I hope the universe will continue giving you what you want, because you deserve it, Ani. You deserve to be happy.

Forever Yours,

Y/N Y/L/N

P.S. somewhere across the stars and galaxies, I’ll be watching over you. I’ll always be with you.

Anakin dropped to the floor, the letter along with him. Muffled sobs could be heard on the other side of the door, but Padme was too preoccupied to hear. Why didn’t I go after her? Why didn’t I try harder? Why didn’t I notice? He asked himself. The truth was that Anakin did regret not going after you, he regretted not trying to get closure from you. Because he knew that if he had gone after you, you would’ve told him the truth. He knew you would tell him the truth because he knew that you couldn’t look him in the eyes and lie to him. That’s why you left, only leaving a letter behind. And he knew if you told him the truth, he would have forgiven you. He would’ve spent the rest of his life, right next to you. Making sure you were alright. Anakin knew he would’ve taken you back in a heartbeat, because he still loves you. Even after you falsely broke his heart and left him, his love for you outweighed the hate he felt.

He got up somberly walking towards the hidden painting. He took it into his hands along with another object. He sat back down, now clutching the memory to his chest. His heart felt heavy, but nothing felt heavier than the small black velvet box resting upon his grasp.

“No regrets, huh?”

.

(A/N): Okay so I know that the goodbye letter is all over the place, but if I was writing a letter to someone I love, my thoughts wouldn’t be able to process properly. So forgive me if some of it seemed random, I’m still new to this stuff. I also feel like this is very cliche but when I heard Forever, my mind was immediately like “omg this song is good inspo for a sad fic.” I also feel like I should’ve added more flashbacks but I’m not sure where they would’ve been placed.... anyways I hope you enjoyed it :)

#anakin skywalker #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker angst #anakin skywalker x reader angst #au!anakin #au!anakin skywalker #star wars

[whirlybirbs]

your college stories got me thinking of drunk handmaiden with sober obi-wan

--- CHERRY STEM   ;

summary: gala, three drinks + a thrown piece of fruit.pairing: obi-wan x handmaiden!squarea/n: i love these idiots 

Galas. 

It’s as if the sixth ring of Hell has been raised and dropped directly into the lobby of the Senate’s main meeting hall. 

Swarming Obi-Wan are politicians, mingling with golden champagne flutes in their hands and grandiose gowns sweeping the crimson carpets -- he feels incredibly out of place beside the other Council Members invited to the celebratory evening.

For the life of him, he cannot remember why he’s here; all he knows he doesn’t want to be.

You see him from the balcony, nervously fussing with the sleeves of his robe; he’s chatting with Master Windu and Master Ki-Adi-Mundi. You can see his discomfort from here, laughing into your third drink of the evening as Ellé snorts. 

“Look at him,” she chirps, pointing, “He’s never liked politics.”

“Hates them,” you mumble, swigging down the red drink in your hands; there’s a smile on your face, watching as the Jedi converses with his peers -- you have to admire the respect earned from having a seat on the Council, and it stirs your chest in the best of way.

You lean over the bannister, and beside Ellé appears Dormé. She squints into the crowd. “God, Obi-Wan looks terrified.”

“He hates politics,” both you and Ellé repeat as Dormé’s mouth makes an O and she sips her own drink. 

“Still?” he raises a brow, blinking over her shoulder when Sabé asks what they’re staring at, “We’re watching Obi-Wan look out of place. Come look. He hates politics.”

“Mm,” Sabé hums, saddling up beside you, “Of course he does, it’s morally ambiguous and difficult to navigate -- especially as a Jedi, who’s sworn purpose is to maintain peace despite a tumultuous war-time campaign souring those ideals.”

You all stare down the line and blink at the bubbly handmaiden.

She shrugs, then sips her drink. “Just saying.”

You finish your drink with a long sip, feel the room start to spin a bit, and reach down through the ice to fish a star-cherry out of the bottom of the glass. The other watch you, staring with assorted curly straws in their red painted lips. 

“What’re you --”

You take the fruit, then, and unceremoniously chuck it over the railing. Immediately the handmaidens beside you gasp in surprise, laughter mingling with muffled sounds of question. You grin, watching as the small pink fruit hits Obi-Wan square on the top of the head.

Instantly, he blinks up. As do his fellow Council Members. 

The smile that lights up his face is worth it. Even Windu manages a laugh. 

You raise your drink and offer a bow of your head. 

Obi-Wan just shakes his head, laughing all the while, and pats Windu’s arm as he moves past and excuses himself. You all watch as he winds through the party, finding the huddle of your five up on the upper-deck by the bar. 

He’s shaking his head still, smile taking over his face.

“Really?”

“You were looking particularly stiff,” you smirk as he greets you with a hug that, to the untrained eye, would seem nothing more than friendly. But, he squeezes your waist tightly, moving to pat the small of your back, “Had to loosen you up.”

Obi-Wan greets the others before narrowing his eyes. “Are you...? Is she drunk?”

You mouth drops open in faux-offense. “Master Kenobi! I am nothing of the sort --”

Dormé’s grinning as she sweeps by him, patting his shoulder. “She’s had three drinks and she’s feelin’ it.”

“Only three?” Ellé shakes her now empty drink; the ice clinks, “God, I’m on five and I’m hardly feeling a buzz.”

“Sounds like a you problem, Ellé,” Sabé musters as she follows Dormé away from the couple, “C’mon, let’s get you to number six.”

And like that, you’re left alone with Obi-Wan on the balcony, grinning up him like he’s the moon and stars. Gods, what he’d give to kiss you right about now. He’s sure that’s where Anakin and Padmé are, probably tucked away in one of the many rooms along the South wing of the building. Though, he’d dare not say it nor insinuate it. 

He leans on the railing, smiles at you, and shakes his head once again. “What I’d give.”

“Hmm?” you ask, buzz from your drinks gathering in your expression and on your tongue, “Give what?”

He prods at your wrist, voice quiet. “Give you a kiss, to start.”

You bite your lip, laugh stuttering out of you. You shake your head, eyes scanning the crowd. Below, you catch the curious gaze of Shaak-Ti on you both. Her expression is fond. 

“Perhaps not here.”

“No?” he chides, playfulness coloring his cheeks rosy; he looks down at the hem of his brown robe, “Do you have somewhere else in mind?”

Just another night where Obi-Wan is forever grateful for storage closets.

#i love thEM. #obi-wan x reader #obi-wan kenobi imagine #obi-wan imagine #obi-wan kenobi x reader #heheh #Star Wars imagine

[tragedy-for-sale]

Lover's Remorse

The hard losses of Umbara add up and sometimes you just have to have someone check on you and sometimes you end falling apart or just vibe in your misery.

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

Cody had been called to General Skywalker's quarters at an obscure hour, and upon arrival, the Jedi told him to keep an eye on his General, he did not state why, but Cody never questioned orders. Though that didn't stop him from wondering. The Marshal had shoved the order out of his mind while he mindlessly wandered the darkened halls making rounds.

Cody knew he was almost done, but he felt like collapsing right there. "Just for a minute" Cody sighed, leaning against the wall to rest his eyes. He closed his eyes and almost sank to the floor. He would have, but he couldn't help like he heard someone...crying? Cody got up and went to the supply closet, when he found it empty he looked someplace else, retracing his steps, he found himself at, General Kenobi's quarters?

It escaped the man's mind to knock and when he stepped in he found himself looking to the General who had been trying to meditate, but it must've brought up the grief, for Cody could see it in the man's eyes when he looked up in shock. Then Cody realized he should've knocked, "I- I'm sorry sir, I heard crying," Cody stumbled as Obi-Wan stood up and wiped his eyes, "I can leave, sir, I didn't mean to bug-"

"Oh, it's alright Cody," Obi-Wan put his hand on Cody's shoulder and looked to him with those same exhausted eyes that had already aged a lifetime, "I should go check on the men." He tried to excuse himself by walking passed the Commander but stopped when he'd grabbed the Jedi's hand.

Cody had taken off his helmet and looked Obi-Wan in the eye, "I already checked on them just now," he spoke until the door had closen before Cody tugged on Obi-Wan's hand to bring him in closer, "What's wrong?" Cody asked as he let go. He saw the General's walls fall as he let out a defeated sigh, letting his head fall on Cody's shoulder.

"I can't protect anyone but myself" he spoke, his eyes were closed, clenching his jaw as he tried so desperately not to cry, "I could have saved them, Cody, if I had tried. I know I could have saved those men if I had stepped in" Obi-Wan spoke through grief. The Jedi almost certainly could not have known Krell's true intentions. "But I didn't, I failed them, like I always do" in this moment, Obi-Wan understood why a Jedi was not to become attached, because of this, the heartbreak.

But the man pulled himself together, "Terribly sorry, Cody, you don't have to listen to my sorrows" Obi-Wan wiped his eyes as he looked to Cody, waiting to see if he'd get up, but he did not. The man stared at the Jedi with gentle eyes that have grown tired of this world. Obi-Wan found himself feeling terrible, here he was, crying about his men as if Cody hadn't lost his brother's. "It would not be fair to you, you lost brothers, I lost my men, you're the one who deserves to cry" he mumbled as he tried to compose himself but felt himself falling apart inside when Cody put his arm around him.

"Well, it doesn't have to be fair," Cody spoke as he looked to Obi-Wan, who was already looking into his eyes wondering what the Marshal was going to say, "We both care for our men sir, no one said you were not allowed to mourn them, because you are, you can sob your eyes out and that would be okay,"

Obi-Wan stared at him blankly as he shook his head and let out a soft "Oh, Cody" the Marshal perked up in confusion, something he had said had upset the man, but what? Cody looked to Obi-Wan who looked like he'd start crying again. Cody really didn't understand Obi-Wan true reasoning behind crying, yes, it was because of the men, but he wasn't upset for the reason Cody thought.

"I'm sorry, sir, I hadn't meant to upset you," Cody apologized, but he only panicked even more because the General had walked away from Cody, looking around his room instead, "Sir, I can leave, if that's what you want-"

"Cody, what do you want?" Obi-Wan stared at the wall, arms crossed as he held himself. He hated that Cody always thought Obi-Wan would order him to leave him alone. That Cody assumed Obi-Wan was going to order him around. It broke the Jedi's heart that his men were made like that. "You're allowed to make your own choices, Cody," Obi-Wan turned to Cody, he was holding his helmet anxiously, afraid that even blinking might upset him more. "What do you want?"

Cody hadn't dared to look Obi-Wan in his eyes, keeping them locked on the ground. "I want to stay" Cody knew that Obi-Wan didn't want him to insist on mentioning he could be ordered to leave, ordered to do anything Obi-Wan wanted and Cody would always do it without batting an eyelash. Obi-Wan had told him a thousand times he had a choice, but getting out of a habit that was embedded in your mind since birth was hard to forget. Obi-Wan knew if he told Cody to leave, he would, that was a weakness among the clones. Even though Cody, who could think and really make something of his life, there would always be a pull in his programming to have to be told to act against the words of someone they were suppose to listen to. Obi-Wan noticed that if they'd spend hours together having a long discussion there were moments Cody would look up to the Jedi in the same manner when he was awaiting an order. "I'll stay... Obi-Wan"

Obi-Wan smiled and Cody felt his face heat up and he almost slammed his bucket on his face but Obi-Wan had turned to grab some tea and poured to cups, he then walked over to Cody, holding out the cup which he took. Cody took a sip, "Thank you," he said we he sat down on the bed, if he didn't sit down, he'd fall down. Obi-Wan nodded as he took a seat next to his Commander and for a while they just sat in silence drinking their tea.

As they say there, Cody shifted, quickly glancing to Obi-Wan before taking another sip. He felt odd that he couldn't read the Jedi's face or posture. When it came to the feelings of others and one's self, Cody considered himself a fool, it was something that eluded him, it was never taught and certainly not something a soldier should indulge themselves in. So Cody hadn't. He'd sworn off the world and grew bitter, caging his heart. But when he was in the General's company, he found himself laughing like he had when he was young, a lifetime of being tense instantly collapsed in Obi-Wan's presence, Cody found himself feeling, well, feeling like he mattered and that his emotions mattered.

In this moment he'd look to the man beside him, the broken, bruised man who sat beside him just drinking tea. But when Obi-Wan caught Cody looking at him, he'd smile and watch as he'd turn quickly in embarrassment. When they finished their tea, Obi-Wan used the force to set them upon the counter then he turned his body to face Cody, who did the same. The two still didn't dare say a word, they merely looked into each other's eyes and unbeknownst to the two, their foreheads had found their way to each other before inevitably falling asleep.

Cody was a man with honor, one who would fight and stand for his own, he rarely was bested in battle. But Obi-Wan Kenobi truly made Cody feel vulnerable, a vulnerability different from the feeling of mourning a death or an injury. A vulnerability that only his General, Obi-Wan Kenobi, was capable of making him feel. It was a feeling that made Cody ache, every fiber of his being exposed as his emotions poured from his heart. That he could fall to his knees and look up to the stars and beg, beg for this feeling to disappear. The feeling of his bleeding heart in their hands, the feeling of knowing he could crush it,

but trusting his fragile heart with him anyway

─── ❖ ── ✦ ── ❖ ───

Huehue - I have a tag list now •_•

@ct7567329 ;

#codywan #i don't know my process during this #?? #im big confused #clones #clone wars #tcw #star wars #Obi-Wan Kenobi #sw #commander cody #the clone wars

[obibabykenobi]

————daddy issues

𝚊𝚗 𝚘𝚋𝚒 𝚠𝚊𝚗 𝚔𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚋𝚒 𝚡 𝚙𝚊𝚍𝚊𝚠𝚊𝚗!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚗𝚎𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚝

warnings: angst, daddy issues, some fluff

summary: reader struggles with attachment issues to obi and he comforts

(hi!!! this is my very first oneshot, so constrictive critism is encouraged! i hope you guys liked this one. i was inspired by the song Daddy Issues by The Neighbourhood and just wanted to dive right into this. i kinda like this whole writing thing so please send in some requests and ill try to see if i can make it happen!)

it was a late night on Coruscant, however the night life was still very much alive. you lay there in your chambers, starring up at the ceiling and listening to the roaring sounds of the night. you hated it here, the temple, the feelings you had to keep in a lock deep down into your very being, and you hated him.

you knew that was a lie. he was magnetic, electric. his own voice rang alarms in your head. his gentle touches rose goosebumps. his presence made you lose all ability to breathe. he had to have sensed it by now, after all these years of training you everything he knows.

when you first realized your feelings for him, you were sure it was nothing and just admiration for a father figure. you were oh so wrong. you realized it was more, with one particular conversation.

you two had been training in a meadow, the most calming place for you to gather your thoughts. after many hours of relentless mind and force controlling on little bugs or rocks, your master decided to let you take a break. he sat down beside you on the ground with a huff.

“another successful day.” he mentioned. he looked over at you with his charming smile. you nodded and laughed. “yea, it was.” a comfortable silence settled between you two. it was nice, but thoughts were whirring inside your brain, not able to handle the thought of him sitting next to you, the man who’s been by your side for years and you’re trying so hard to keep your composure.

he looked over at you with concern in his eyes. the beautiful golden hour hue decorating his face. “little one, your thoughts are so loud.” you know he couldn’t comprehend what you’re saying, but can just hear your brain making a fuss. “sorry...”

“what’s wrong, my young Padawan?” he faced his body in your direction, complete focus and attention on you. you kind of squirmed in your spot. you brought your legs up to your chest and settled your head on your knees, looking at him.

“how do you do it?” you asked. you watched as confusion took over his features. “do what?”

you looked down at the grass, watching a bug land on a blade. “having no father...how do you do it? I’m sorry if...if I came off a little too strong there, master.” you heard a sigh and looked up at him. you watched as he started playing with the grass.

“i had many people to look up to. it was hard at first, not having any father to play catch with. or a mother, but the teachings, Qui Gon...” he trailed off. you watched as he bit his lip. you shouldn’t have brought it up, you wanted to so badly take back your words.

he put a reassuring hand on yours. “it’s quite alright.” his eyes softened. “Master Qui Gon was...a father to me.” he looked directly into your eyes. “and if you see me as one too, ill do whatever I can do for you.”

from that day forward, you’ve been hopelessly attached to your master, Obi Wan Kenobi.

you heard a knock at your door, you could sense it was your master. your heart was beating a mile a minute. with a shaky “come in, master.” he brought himself in.

“i came to drop off your robe, you seemed to have left it in the training room.” he sat down a neatly folded robe at the desk across the room. it wasn’t your robe, yours was in the closet like it always was.

“master, why are you really here?” you asked with a teasing tilt to your voice. he let out light huff and sat at the edge of your bed. “you caught me.”

the city lights and dark purples/blues coming in from the window danced on his face. he was enchanting. you sat up and scooted down the bed to sit next to him. “what’s up?”

“i should be asking you that, i could hear your thoughts all the way across the temple.” you froze. you awkwardly scratched your head. “hah, sorry about that. just worried about our next mission.”

he raised a suspicious eyebrow at you. “I know a lie when I hear one.” you awkwardly shuffled in your spot. he couldn’t know, he couldn’t. he couldn’t know about your embarrassing attachment to him because of your daddy issues and how you’ve been thinking so much about running away with him.

“padawan, id like to try something. but you have to let your shields down.” you whipped your head up to look at him. he was going to read your mind. “i don’t-...im not sure thats a good idea.” he folded his arms.

“young one, i can’t help you if you don’t tell me what’s wrong.” you gulped. having a mini debate in your head. you would finally feel free, having him know the truth. but if he knew, he would transfer you to another master. or even worse, another Jedi temple. you don’t know what you would do if you couldn’t feel him around you anymore. you gripped the sheets with your hands, biting your lip. you didn’t want to leave him. you wanted to see him. but...what if he doesn’t send you away? what if...he understands and helps you? what if he...reciprocates? what if-

he snapped his fingers in front of you. “stars to y/n?” you looked up at him. in a quiet, reassuring voice that could lull you to sleep, he says “i just want to help you.” your mouth felt dry, but how could you say no to ocean eyes like his. you nodded, allowing him acces to your mind. he softly told you to close your eyes and to relax. you tried very hard to relax. you felt his fingers touch your temples, you felt him knock on your shields. you let them down, let all of them down. he was finally going to know everything.

after a few minutes, you felt his fingers slowly leave you. you opened your eyes, looking at him. he looked so sad, so...vulnerable.

he saw everything. he saw the admiration that turned into deep feelings. he saw the sorrow you had built up. he saw the locked box full of thoughts, thoughts about him. he saw the issues you go through. he saw your mind yearning for him and his everything.

“oh, darling. come here.” he said. he immediately brought you into his arms. that’s when you started crying, so quietly into his neck. he felt guilt ridden, and horrible for not being able to be there for you and not knowing. that’s when he realized he knows exactly what you’re going through. “im so sorry, little one. if i would have known your feelings...”

he’s the one taking the heat for it all, and you’re so surprised he’s not disgusted. you gripped onto him for dear life. your body wracked with sobs. “it’s okay to cry, little one.”

after what seemed like many hours of soaking his robe, you finally broke away from his arms and looked up at him. “you’re not mad...why aren’t you mad?” you asked.

both his hands gently cupped your cheeks. his thumb wiped a single tear away from your cheek. your lips were still quivering from how affectionate he was being. “because i know exactly how you feel, you’re not alone.”

your breath hitched. your hands wrapped around his wrists, you leaned into his touch. “on...on which part?” your voice wavered.

you touched foreheads, you felt his breath on your face and all you could do was stare at his lips, and watch them as he said “all of them.” he gently connected his lips with yours.

#obi wan x reader #obi wan imagine #obi wan x y/n #obi wan fanfiction #obi wan fluff

[fandom-blackhole]

Hi!! I’m not entirely sure if your ships are still open and if not please just ignore this :)

More importantly: CONGRATS ON THE MILESTONE!!!!! You’re one of my favorite blogs and it’s nice seeing you get the recognition you deserve!

Okay the actual ship lol: I’m a pansexual 20 yr old female (so gender of the ship is totally up to you and generally I use she/her pronouns) and if possible, could I get a general star wars ship?

I would generally describe myself as pretty optimistic, I’ve been through a lot mental health wise and have come out the other side much more positive and realistic because of it. In fact, my friends call me sunshine or sunny because of how positive and “light” I can be. I have depression which can sometimes cause me to be down, but I work really hard to keep my mood stable. I’m super active (to the point where I want to be an athlete as a full-time job) and love running and cycling. I have two golden retrievers who are the light of my life and honestly keep me sane at times. I’m generally not one to be vulnerable, and I can’t ever say that I’ve truly shown my fully authentic self to anyone (which is something I’m working hard on but hey, takes time). I also seek reassurance often which is another thing I’m improving. I’m an INFP and generally think I fit the mediator personality type because I can calm pretty much anyone down and it’s easy for me to be the peacekeeper in a conversation. However, if anyone is treating others incorrectly (racist, sexist, etc.) I will not hesitate to loose my cool, to the point where my family has nicknamed me “firecracker”. I’m super loyal and very protective of those I love, but never in a possessive sense. I’m fairly tall, about 5’10 with brown hair and light brown eyes. My favorite color is yellow so most of my wardrobe is yellow or some variation of orange, though I do love anything olive green or deep blue. At times I’m pretty sensitive and occasionally have body image issues so some of my clothing is pretty baggy and comfortable. I’m a Buddhist, and mostly live my life by the peaceful standards set by Tibetan Buddhism. I take pride in being strong both physically and mentally and often support those around me to become better if they express the interest. I love being in nature and actually live in the middle of the forest, though I also love travelling and have been to most of Europe and some of Eastern Asia. All in all I’m a pretty grounded and peaceful person (even though I named a lot of contradictory things lol) and am always striving to better myself for those in my life and my future self.

Your ship!!

I would honestly ship you with Paz, I think you guys would fit together perfectly. Between your mutual love of children and animals, and his ability to be a calming and grounding presence for you, you would be the ultimate couple. I can imagine you guys going to town and just walking around the stalls hand in hand, and of course being the big teddy bear he is, Paz would buy you whatever caught your eye and surprise you with it later. Speaking of Paz being a teddy bear, can you imagine the snuggles?? Literally top tier. This man is soft™️ and would just envelope you and never let you go. I think your youse would have plants all over and probably some critters (both with four and two feet) running around. I also get the vibe that Paz would be super supportive of your interests, not thinking that your interest in death is weird but rather almost normal (being Mandalorian and all that) and I can also see you guys having really feel and in-depth conversations about death and subsequently life. As for how you meet... I think you’d most likely be helping with the foundlings or caring for animals (are there shelters in Star Wars? Now there are) and he would be all gentle with the kiddos/animals and you’d notice (because obviously, who wouldn’t notice the big strong man being so soft™️) . You might brush it off and assume he’ll never come back again because ~feelings~ but then when you see him again and he recognizes you, you might just go for it. He wouldn’t push you out if your comfort zone, but instead get to know you slowly. He’s also totally the type to remember all the little details about you like, you mentioned you were tired? Coffee the next day (or whatever you may use to wake up) you need a break from your shift? He remembers what you said your favorite restaurant is and is already getting you out the door. Once you guys have been together for a while I can imagine talking about having a house with some land along with more kiddos (let’s face it, all the bucket boys have a breeding kink) and he’d be okay if you didn’t want that life but would be thrilled if you agreed to the white-picket-fence dream he’s envisioned for you guys. 1000% the supportive s/o who drinks his respect women juice ™️ religiously. I can’t remember if you included your love language in your details, but if it’s touch ohhh boy and you in for a treat with Paz. When I said this man won’t let you go, I mean it. Big arms and large hands (😏) just holding you? *chefs kiss*. He would LOVE it when you lay on his chest and if you ever let him lay in yours and listen to your heartbeat? The man thinks he’s died and gone to heaven. You would also be the first person to see his face if you wanted to, which would probably cause both of you to cry (happy tears) ngl. Also, just a thought that won’t leave my alone, Paz is tatted to the nines but if you’re not into that then ignore this part lol.

Thank you again and congrats on the milestone. Like I said, you deserve this and so much more and it make me so so happy to see you finally getting the recognition you deserve.

Thank you so much for your kind words it means a lot, and thank you for being here, I really appreciate hearing from you and talking thots with you!

For your ship, I ship you with Obi Wan Kenobi!

Being a Jedi and following Jedi practices I think Obi Wan would really like that you follow Buddhism and follow a peaceful lifestyle because it is something similar to what he has grown up practicing himself. Obi loves your optimism and sees it as a breath of fresh air after all the negative things he goes through day by day while fighting in the war and being torn from his peacemaking ways into w war general. Obi absolutely loves your dogs, and don't feel bad if when he visits you he makes a beeline straight towards the dogs to give them pets immediately after saying hello to you. When Obi notices how much you like to be active, he will invite you to come to the training rooms at the temple where he will teach you how to spar so the two of you can spend time doing that, or just running the course that the Jedi have set up for training. Obi loves how much yellow and orange is in your closet and just your style in general, but he likes to tease you about owning so much yellow means that your favorite battalion is his own, the 212th, and how you are their little good luck charm. Obi is very much a peacekeeper and would rather negotiate an opponent down rather than fight, so he very much is glad that you are a peacekeeper as well. That being said though, he does like that you stand up for what you believe in and for others, it never fails to bring a smile to his face when you get a little feisty. Obi Wan is a very caring person and in my opinion very observative, so he will notice when you are feeling down around him and he will give you as much reassurance that you need. No matter what it is Obi will make sure and find a way to cheer you up because he hates seeing anything but a smile on your face.

OMG everything and I mean everything you wrote in your ship for me is perfect!!!

Paz buying me anything that catches my eye? I am dead. Paz being a big ass cuddly teddy bear? yes please, I want him to lay on top of me and squish me in a big hug. Having deep conversations with him? That is my shiiiiittttt. Paz remembering small things like how I take my coffee or tea or my fave restaurant? I am so fucking SOFT! Paz planning out a cute little home for the two of us? Ugghhhhh I can’t! And lastly, both of us crying when I see his face for the first time? Fuck, I am crying now goddammit!

Thank you for this, and thank you for being here and being so lovely to me! 

(16/20)

#500 followers #ships #obi wan kenobi x reader #obi wan x reader

[im-a-ramblr]

Day 15, Breathless

Nightmares were nothing new to Anakin. He’d had them most of his life. As a child, they had been simple. His mother being lost to a sandstorm or to a different slaver. Being turned out if the Jedi temple and left alone, or how he’d imagined Qui-Gon’s death had gone. As he got older, the dreams had changed. They’d stick with him far longer and felt so much more real. He’d had one about drowning and the tight feeling in his chest hadn’t left him until several days later after Obi-Wan had dragged him out of a river where their enemies had sent him to die. The ache of loneliness that had accompanied him after the vision of his mother’s death had taken much longer to fill. It hadn’t truly left until he’d kissed Padme at their wedding.

Kissing Padme was the only kind of good thing that led to breathlessness are far as Anakin could tell. He sighed and glanced over his shoulder at his sleeping wife. She was still a bit paler than she should have been, and every so often he thought he heard her breath hitch.

The birth of the twins had been hard on her, leaving her weak and hospitalized for several months afterward. Anakin would often imagine her breath hitching sometimes. The first year or so of the twins’ life had been hard on him.

Blessedly the babies had been healthy which was a relief. Anakin couldn’t imagine what his life would be like without the two little bundles of joy. They often tried to help him care for their mother, with varying degrees of success. Thankful as they got older Padme grew stronger. She was well enough that they were going to try and have a family picnic.

That was the current cause of Anakin’s distress. He’d been anxious all of yesterday and had woken earlier this morning after a nightmare of everything that could go wrong. He took a breath to steady himself. He couldn’t think like that. Luke and Leia, while thoroughly trained in the Force, could still pick it up on his stronger emotions and he’d hate to wake them up when the sun was still raising. He sighed and turned from the window.

He climbed back into bed and watched his wife breathe. Everything was fine. He could feel the twins, asleep and content, and his wonderful wife was right here, finally recovered enough after 4 years of hospitalization and setbacks. It would be fine, maybe not forever but for today it would be. He carefully laid his flesh arm over Padme’s waist and closed his eyes. He needed to get as much sleep as he could to have the energy to manage today. He closed his eyes and slowly, oh so slowly drifted into unconsciousness.

The air was forced from his lungs what felt like a mere moment later. He groaned and struggled to push the thing off him. It let out a squeal. Soft laughter followed. He pried his eyes open, and immediately closed them. The room was far brighter than it had been when he’d fallen asleep. The sun was shining and its rays penetrated through his closed eyelids. After a moment he opened them and squinted against the light.

Luke and Leia were across his legs, giggling. He rested a hand on his chest eyes narrowed. “Did you two jump on me?”

“Mommy said it was okay,” Leia told him, while Luke nodded. He turned to his wife; eyebrow raised.

She was sitting up, resting against the headboard. She smiled mischievously. “They were so careful getting up here, afraid they’d hurt me. I told them their dad was strong enough to handle it.”

He snorted but leaned over and kissed her cheek. Pulling away he swept the children into his arms and bounced them onto his hips. “Alright kiddos, I’m up. So, are we ready for a picnic?”

“Yeah!” Leia cheered.

“Food!” Luke threw his arms up, hitting his father in the face.

Anakin sputtered, and Padme laughed, swinging her legs over the bed. “Alright my darlings. Let us get dressed, and then we can help you.” Anakin nodded and set them down. They immediately rushed into the closet. Padme trailed after them.

Anakin took a deep breath, replenishing the air that had been knocked out of it. It was going to be a wonderful day

#flufftober2020 #luke skywalker #leia organa #anakin skywalker #padme amidala #anidala #star wars #Relila Writes

[strawberriesinmoominvalley]

i got my friend to name star wars rebels characters

she doesn’t know anything really about star wars, for reference. this is the funniest thing i’ve done in days

- teenage mutant ninja turtle raphael - he seems like he is repressing a lot of things - but also makes people sad - but he just wants friends - at first he scared me but i think we could raise a gay family together as he is clearly closeted (good for him though)

- YODA’S RELATIVE - she is like if shrek and merida have a child - bc the shrek outfit and colour but merida eyes and violence and lack of respect for authority - she just gives that vibe

- THE RACIST DROID - they hate crime people as a hobby - treats the seven deadly sins as a to-do list - i feel like they would drug me and pretend to be my sleep paralysis demon - what’re their pronouns? (me: he) he’s a little bitch - but if he’s annoying just kick him and he’ll beetle on the floor like a fool

- AGH - scary - seems like a father take that reaction as you will (me: i’m scared) as am i - OHHH PURPLE CAT - has neat handwriting - and a mechanic - and bites people

- WHAT - REVERSE SWORD - IT’S WRONG  - good for her - she has a panic! at the disco phase i can tell - they worked on the name i can just tell - i appreciate the karen haircut - angsty teen - i like her owl - the number reminded me of a racer outfit though - logically? she’s a power bottom - again, repressed like the ninja turtle - but the closet sure is cosy good for her

- SIMP (me: he’s a simp?) clearly - he is a leader but also a father - and seems like he checks up on everyone except himself - he also needs a hug - his eyes are fun - i think he should drop the skincare routine - simp dad is also trans

- cat girl!!! - she is both a milf and a threat - violence over feelings - clearly she didn’t have a good childhood but i like her makeup - also - i feel like i should point this out - she doesn't look like she is sleeping enough so i hope she takes more naps

- silly - obi wan kenobi - wait no he isn’t sexy enough - kristoff from frozen if he was a bear - he seems like he genuinely enjoys root beer _ (me: did you know he gets married to the purple cat?) and a furry too! knew it - i hate him

- god i wish that were me - he has inner peace - he owns three dogs/children and has a good bedtime story voice - secretly violent - doesn’t do it very often because he’s “above it” which is stupid - he’s only above it because he’s tall - bet cat girl could beat him - not the bear though

- SHE - she is so stressed - and angry but she keeps the anger bottled up she should try therapy - i like her headband - she is bad with children but still likes them - i feel like if you annoy her she will break a part of you

- UGH -he is a horrible man - the eight and most bullyable weasley - he is doing a second rate dwayne johnson cosplay and i don’t think it’s working - he seems like he’s hurt me - (me: i love him you’re so harsh let me get a picture of him in armour)

- hmmm bearable - don’t like that his crotch is a different colour there’s no need to make a fuss - (me: that’s armour) why would they change the colour i get that it’s armour - apart from that i would probably be hurt in some way by him - i am not interested 👎🤏 (me: you’re gay) i know a sexy man when i see one that is not attractive

BONUS ROUND!!!

- YEAH YEAH YEAH - I LOVE HIM - HE IS SASSY AND ADORABLE - he would tuck me in at night if i asked i KNOW it - he is the balm to all daddy issues - (me: that’s scarily accurate) i feel like we were lovers in a past life - soulmates - we have a bond - our love was too powerful so i am a lesbian to compromise

#this was very much fun #she's either very much off or scarily accurate there is no in between #she's like the only one i don't infodump about star wars to so she really is unknowledgable #oi if you're reading this i love you #and i know you're procrastinating something so go do it #anyway i want to do this again with something and someone else #maybe shadowhunters i've read all the books #or percy jackson #or she ra #anyway i hope you all liked this as much as i did #if you didn't that's cool i did #anyway i gotta go work on some art #it's for she said the word so don't be surprised #it's by the-obiwan-for-me who is so lovely you should check her out #yes i talk about sstw all the time but it's amazing also we're friends #at least i think we are #so if we're not sorry #i need to stop now #kanan jarrus #hera syndulla #chopper #garazeb orrelios #sabine wren #ezra bridger #ahsoka tano #alexsandr kallus #captain rex #Bo-Katan Kryze #fenn rau #obi wan kenobi