#and of course this is another one that applies to many marginalized groups and like. many groups more than disabled people

[classicslesbianopinions]

the other thing about being disabled in academia is everyone is like "yeah we can't do much about the buildings they're old :/" as if "old" being a synonym for "inaccessible" isn't just a constant reminder that the people who built the school did not imagine that someday someone like me might study there

#mod felix #obviously there's some stuff that's way more accessible with like. electricity. like. i can get to the second floor. for example #but like. it's still possible to have. for example. ramps. if you as a culture value disabled people and their work #i miss when i was at a school where 'these are old buildings' meant 'these buildings were built for cows instead of people' #rather than 'these buildings were built for students just not students like you' #and of course this is another one that applies to many marginalized groups and like. many groups more than disabled people #in the sense that like. my school was also built to explicitly exclude people of color. for example #but i speak from my own experience and my own experience is characterized by ableism more than anything else #but like . again if you read this and you're like 'this feels like it applies to me in ways unrelated to disability' #well it probably does.

[gatheringbones]

[“Respectability politics” refers to attempts by marginalized groups to garner acceptance by convincing the dominant majority that they too are “normal” and therefore worthy of respect. We saw this happen with the mainstream gay rights movement over the last half century, as activists and organizations worked to shift the public discourse away from the “disreputable” topic of sexuality, and toward more “respectable” issues, such as marriage, adoption, and military service. This respectability strategy is perhaps best captured in the popular slogan “We’re just like you, except for our sexual orientation.”

Notably, this slogan does not call for straight people to accept queerness per se, nor does it claim that all queer people deserve to be treated with respect. Rather, it implies that there are “respectable” people and “disreputable” ones, and that the “we” in “we’re just like you” deserve to be in the former category.

Of course, in a society where many people are deemed “disreputable” because of their race, class, disability, or other traits, these appeals to respectability failed many multiply marginalized queer people. Furthermore, queer subpopulations who were viewed as particularly “disreputable” at the time—such as bisexual and transgender people—were often explicitly excluded from the movement over concerns that we might “hold back” the progress of gay and lesbian people. In other words, respectability politics always leaves behind the most marginalized, as well as the most sexualized, segments of any minority group. For these reasons, many contemporary queer activists are opposed to recycling this strategy.

“Contagiousness politics” is a term of my own making, and it refers to attempts to placate the dominant majority’s fears that they might become “infected” or “contaminated” by a particular marginalized group. For LGBTQIA+ people, such fears have typically centered on the assumption that straight people can be “turned queer” via interacting with us. Perhaps the most effective contagiousness-politics slogan of the gay rights movement was “we’re born that way.” There have been extensive debates about this slogan, with some queer people expressing concerns that “born that way” suggests that we must suffer from some kind of “birth defect.” Others are concerned that the phrase implies that no one would willingly choose to be queer, and/or that it erases some individuals’ experiences with shifts in identity or gender/sexual fluidity. While I agree that the slogan fails to capture many intricacies regarding how queer people come to be, I believe its effectiveness lies largely in its ability to allay straight people’s fears of contagiousness. After all, if people are “born queer,” then that means that straight people can’t “catch” it from us.

There is another gay rights–era message that has received considerably less attention but seems to have served a similar purpose. Namely, lesbians and gay men would often assure straight people that they were not sexually interested in them. They would point out that gay men are attracted to other gay men, and lesbians to other lesbians, and they meet one another in queer-specific settings, such as gay bars or m4m/f4f dating sites. These messages seemed designed to convince straight people that they need not “panic” about being “seduced” by a queer person.

While the notion that queer and straight people inhabit entirely separate dating pools may hold true for exclusively lesbian and gay people, it doesn’t necessarily apply to other gender and sexual minorities. Bisexuals are attracted to people across multiple genders, trans and intersex people vary in our sexual orientations, and so on. In fact, this “separate dating pools” message insinuates that it would be a bad thing if a queer person were to take an interest in a straight person, or vice versa. Such flawed messaging helped to create the apparent paradox that we now find ourselves in, where the straight majority openly accepts people who are in same-sex relationships, while simultaneously harboring fears of “sexual deception” and being “contaminated” by queerness themselves.”]

julia serano, from sexed up: how society sexualizes us, and how we can fight back, 2022

#julia serano #bi literature #trans literature #gender stuff #currently reading

[animehouse-moe]

Mahou Shoujo Magical Destroyers Episode 4: R U Ready?

Another day, another Magical Destroyers episode. It's not so much predictable as it is informative and relatable, but that doesn't cause the value or enjoyment of it to depreciated as it parades itself around through Inagawa's vision that tackles just as many abstract concepts as it does pieces of otaku culture.

So I think I'll try to keep this one short, since the idea is pretty well established and explained. The episode is effectively all about the rift between generations in otaku culture, as a hobby almost. It's about the modern day reconciling with its roots, and that source lashing out at where they've been forced to come to.

Before I get into that though, I want to establish some history with the term Otaku. It originated in the 80s, much like the otaku shown in this episode, and it is indeed a word that's come to embody a similar meaning to how English speakers see "geek" and "nerd", but it wasn't always that way.

Otaku is a very finnicky term in its early years. Originally, it was popularized as term in a magazine that was known for Lolicon Hentai content (though it was later lessened due to reader feedback). Regardless, the term came to be a way to refer to who we see as Otaku thanks to a columnist that would write articles titled "Otaku Research" (Otaku no kenkyuu). From there, it saw use at a marginally harsher version of "geek" or "nerd". Basically, like how old school movies would have bullies refer to kids as a geek. Derogatory and aggressive, but not something full of distaste or anything.

That changed at the end of the 80s though. As the term Otaku gained ground it was used by more, and was forever attached to the "Otaku Murders". Tsutomu Miyazaki was in their late 20s at the end of the 80s, and was a serial killer at the center of a batch of gruesome acts over the course of a year. After being caught and arrested, media began to label Miyazaki as an Otaku and created a massive moral panic to erupt towards the group in Japan at the time. The piece that remains interesting however is that Miyazaki's collection was largely live action horror and pornography, but the media ran with his collection being largely anime and manga.

It's very heavy, but it's how the life of the term Otaku really started. An immediate plummet towards rock bottom that created an intense separation and hatred of Otaku in Japanese society. Outcasts, people that are unable to understand or relate to reality, people that cannot integrate with society, failures. It was a harsh and terrible time to be an Otaku, which this episode does a solid job of depicting while leaving out the heavier aspects.

And within that, a rift is formed. The older otaku who struggled to enjoy their hobby, versus the younger otaku who know nothing of strife. It's a great interaction as you see it all over the place with generations across media and hobbies. Car guys, music (particularly stuff like Rap), even video games. The challenges that faced earlier generations were their rite of passage, one that newer generations never cleared or struggled with. And on the opposite end, why would the newer generations respect that struggle when they have everything in front of them and have their own issues?

It's a back and forth that, even though it's covered comically, gets the point across of the generational gaps in hobbies and the distaste that each sees in the other. So very much something that holds particular value in otaku culture, but can also be applied and related to other hobbies and interests.

Okay, well this is not short but there's still more to, sorry! I'll try to breeze through it.

It's impossible to remove tropes and clichés from the root of how many fans see and understand anime these days, so I like how much they're leaned on through this series alongside expectation subversion. It's fun, definitely not fresh, but an enjoyable feeling of nostalgia for the illogical and odd nonetheless.

Plus, random fanservice? Gotta love it, and how it both sort of mocks the pointless scenes of women in animanga, while also placing the sexualization of Blue in her own court.

The pervasion of Otaku culture in interaction and casual dialogue is still quite fun and it finds the right times to make it funny versus making it something closer to a parody. I wouldn't exactly call it a parody as it's not mocking it per se, but it's certainly not an entirely serious depiction either.

In addition to that, I'm also still liking the sort of romantic undertones that the characters give off randomly. I'm unaware as to whether or not it's an intentional piece, but it really adds to that immature feel that pervades a lot of the shallow aspects of the story. You can see it as the weird and wacky Magical Girl comedy that's a high schooler's vision, or you can see the pieces that it expresses underneath. It's easy to take the shallow without the depth, but the latter doesn't come without the former.

And I think that's an important piece to remember with Magical Destroyers. You can take it as it gives it you and have a good time if you're okay with the production value, but you can't separate the two facets of Inagawa's approach to his work in this anime. In for a penny in for a pound, and I think fans that dive in headfirst are really appreciating what Inagawa's giving out.

#mahou shoujo magical destroyers #mahou shoujo mad #magical destroyers #magical mad #magical girl #jun inagawa #anarchy chan #otaku hero #otakuhero #anime recommendation #anime review #anime original #anime and manga #anime

[sophieinwonderland]

Do I need to explain why I block someone?

I made the mistake of looking at the syscourse tag on another account and... okay... I guess this is a conversation you want to have out in public.

This is one part explanation, one part vent. Read below this line at your own risk.

Let me first assure you that blocking you had nothing to do with "avoiding accountability". I didn't want to address this. I've tried really hard to avoid it for such a long time. But it seems I've been put in a position where I have to defend my decision to block you to anyone reading.

Apparently I need to talk about the fact that many of our past interactions often led to arguments with you sending profanities my way. I need to bring up the first semi-callout post you made about me which you took down after another user too issue with it. I barely even remember the topic that was about.

I need to talk about how in one of our arguments which you escalated into screaming at me, you revealed that you had already blocked me on that old account, but because Tumblr is Tumblr, it didn't stop me from interacting with you. I blocked you immediately after out of respect when I realized you didn't want to interact.

(Ironically, people were calling me a block evader at the time because of that when I didn't know I had been blocked, and I ceased interaction immediately after I found out.)

I need to bring up when JAS came onto one of my posts THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH DID OR OSDD to attack my sources and try to invalidate my existence, you made a callout post about me because I stood by the sources I used. You told others to block me, and accused me of using "abusive sources." This was, again, after I already had you blocked.

You started interacting again on your new accounts once you moved past the old one. This was mostly fine but some of these interactions did often become aggressive, though perhaps not as bad as before.

Then this came to a head with me crosstagging my responses to anti-endo posts that themselves were crosstagged into endogenic and pro-endogenic tags. You argued that I was in the wrong for posting my responses in those tags. And I still maintain that doing this helped enforce our community's boundaries, providing a deterrent that has made anti-endos less keen on invading our spaces with hate posts.

You don't seem to take any issue with JAS posting in pro-endo tags though. But then, maybe you aren't interested in applying the same standard to a hate group that you are to their victims.

You also argued with me calling anti-endos, a group of people who defines themselves by their opposition to a marginalized community, as a hate group.

You blocked me once again for a second time because of both the way I defended my community and for labeling this hate group as a hate group.

I also know you went on to make posts detailing all the things you despised about me at the time. Of course, when I responded to asks that mentioned you, you sent me an ask requesting that we not mention each other again.

Does this sound familiar to you?

I would also like to humbly ask that we do not mention each other on our blogs any further. There are millions of more words I could say about you and your takes in syscourse, as I am sure there are millions you could say about me. We’re talking in circles around each other (the irony of which is not lost on me) and I’m tired of hearing my name in your mouth

And I'm following that request even if you aren't. I haven't mentioned your name since and you won't see me mention your name ever again, even in this post.

I saved a draft response to that ask but I was frustrated when I wrote it and ultimately decided against making that post, since it would have aired a lot of negative feelings built up over a long time which I didn't really want to air in public.

But right now I feel like I've been put in a position where I need to in order to clear the air and explain clearly to everyone why I blocked you.

Are you satisfied?

Do I need to go further?

Do I need to explain how seeing your name in my notifications again filled me with dread?

I hope you can understand now that my reasons for blocking you were not about "avoiding accountability" or because you "raised criticism." I can promise that my reasons were 100% personal.

I hope you can find this explanation satisfactory.

Now, it's time for me to get back to ignoring your existence as you requested. Have a great rest of your life.

#syscourse #vent

[erikahammerschmidt]

I worry sometimes about how far opinions about a work of fiction can travel beyond the sphere of people who actually know anything about that work of fiction. This can happen in many ways For example, it applies to the people who think 60's Star Trek was some "non-political" white male power fantasy but it ALSO applies to those who act like it was 100% respectful to every marginalized group by today's standards Of course it wasn't. There were episodes that would today be called straight-up racist and sexist on multiple levels, even when at the time they were TRYING to be progressive Same with Terry Pratchett. His books are amazing, I love them, they're brilliantly clever and entertaining and generally very forward-thinking for when they were written. But not ALL of it aged well! Lots of good artists from bygone days get held up as examples of "see, nobody HAD to be a product of their times!"  But you can almost always find things in their work and life that... clearly were, and wouldn't be accepted by progressives today Now, some people really want their old-timey fave to be unproblematic and will do gymnastics to reinterpret the problematic parts as not just "okay for their time" but "objectively, timelessly good" (even if they'd never accept the same work from a present-day artist) and will seem sincerely oblivious to the contradiction in their thoughts But I think it's even worse when people decide something is their old-timey fave just based on other people talking about it and then they actually read or watch it and they're like OMG THIS IS AWFUL, YOU ALL LIED TO ME Of course there's a lot of talk about this binary that we try to force on all media throughout all of history (where either it adheres to every current progressive standard of how everything should be portrayed or it is so evil that anyone who even thinks it's worth reading/watching is automatically evil too) When that whole debacle happened on twitter a few months ago, with the person who tweeted a list of Problematic Authors, I was struck by two things-- in very different but related ways. 1. The list included warnings about many pieces of content that only in recent years would be considered problematic. For example, the use of derogatory terms for groups of people, by characters in fiction. When I was in school, reading the classics that the school assigned us to read, my entire class would seem to be in total agreement on a point like "the word used in this scene is an unacceptable slur that no one should ever use against anyone in real life" And at the same time, everyone, as far as I could tell, would ALSO be in agreement that the author wasn't wrong to show a character using the slur against another character (because it's a thing that does happen, and was clearly portrayed as a bad thing to do) Now I said "as far as I could tell" because I'm not sure everyone WAS in agreement. It's totally possible that the author's use of the word offended and hurt people who didn't feel safe speaking up about it, and their feelings are absolutely valid. My point is that, in the 80's and 90s,  it wasn't commonly known that this was a problem (except among groups who were hurt by it). Awareness had not spread. Many people had no idea. If they had never been in a group targeted by a slur-- or if their own experience of being targeted did not extend to feeling trauma from fictional representations of it-- many would never have considered, on their own, that a fictional use of a slur could be harmful. In recent times it is much more openly discussed as a problem. And this has extended to mainstream novel-writing and movie-making, where the use of slurs has in fact become much less common as a result of the discussion. (If they ever do remake Blazing Saddles, for instance, it would be very advisable in the current climate to do it WITHOUT such an abundance of racial epithets.) So, while this sort of content in older works is considered problematic by lots of people today, it can also be important to realize that it doesn't make an author inherently bad and bigoted. Often it happens in the context of a work that was very clearly trying to condemn bigotry and promote acceptance. Of course not every attempt to do this is successful, or good, or helpful in any time, let alone the modern time. But nor is it automatically evil. The second thing I noticed about the "problematic books" post was that... the OP made it quite clear they were NOT saying the books were bad, that the authors were bad people, or that anyone should be condemned for reading them. They'd been harassed into deleting the post by the time I saw the discussion, but the screenshots I saw looked much more like a list of content warnings than a callout post. I saw no evidence that OP's intention was anything more than "pointing out things in these books that may be problematic by today's standards, so that you can be prepared before you decide to read them, in case you're uncomfortable with such content." Yeah, the initial posts could have been worded better, to convey that more clearly. But they also did not (despite many people's jumping to conclusions) clearly convey the opposite, at all. And yet even though the actual author of the post had given no sign of promoting the "good/evil" binary, virtually all the critics were acting as if that was the post's purpose. In other words: the critics were those who USUALLY make a big deal about how a book having "upsetting content" doesn't make it an evil book that promotes those things happening in real life -- and yet, here they were interpreting a simple list of content warnings as an outright attack against the books? Just as if they actually believed that "a book portraying bigotry" was the same as "a book promoting bigotry" And just as if they were experiencing the same "poor reading comprehension" that they're so quick to accuse others of. This has convinced me that none of us are immune to these failures. And I think it's extremely important that when recommending a work of fiction as being progressive, respectful, and good representation... we should still refrain from saying it's perfect. Because there are still many people out there who have trouble seeing anything except a good/evil binary. Perhaps, if it becomes common enough to hear things like "I love this story, the representation is mostly great, it has some parts that didn't age well but overall it's one of the best portrayals of this issue that I've seen" then MAYBE it'll become common to have thoughts with that kind of nuance, as well.

[mereallycan]

there's something I've recently started finding more meaningful to me (of course it's always been there on some level but I started jut paying more attention and intentionality to it) and its having critical conversations within and only within the community of subject matter.

I won't, for example, hold discussions criticizing or even giving analytical thoughts, that speaks less than praise or approval for a woman, outside of a community of women, especially never with or within general or supremacy spaces, in this example that would look like mixed or predominantly men or a man audience, and I've started applying it to all marginalized or "minority" communities. a.k. a (especially in public), I support women's rights and wrongs.

I know for sure that a woman or a poc can be wrong, I won't even oppose if they are objectively spoken about, in any direction, but will I personally degradingly comment on it or share public assent for said criticism? in most cases, NO. I'll even more silent or shun it outrightly, if it's coming from "other" voices.

We all need to constantly improve and receive notes and pointers of recommendation in one way or another, but for the most part, when people offer them, it's self serving and when it's offered by an other point of view, from someone who doesn't completely understand the full scope and cannot relate based on self reference, it's even less swallowable to me. There can be objective merit to whatever they're saying, but what I'm finding more and more is that I'm rather unwilling to participate or give it credence. Some other person can argue that it gives it a fresh, detached eye, I'm just really finding it lacking in portraying a accurate perspective from having access to a bigger picture and closer perspective and leading to a narrative that is full of holes. Holes, like I already said, empathy, sympathy, aka A BIAS that they would so easily offer when telling a story of something or someone from their (socioeconomic etc etc) demography. We like to say we're being true, fair, objective and all that but nothing is really objective is it, we're ever so subject to so many factors that will always affect our judgement on any subject matter, regardless of how much we deny or try to distance ourselves from it.

So these days, if xx does something and it's being brought on a public forum, I'll rather keep quiet than contribute venom or vitriol especially if my assessment of the matter is just that. I'll hold all judgement and negative commentary for within a safer space of origin and relatability on basis on shared physical or whatever the case characteristics and it doesn't even matter if they all share my point of view or agree with me as long as I'm not discussing it with "other" who go on to (consciously or unconsciously) weaponize and hold as armor to validate their further and continued systemic or individual "violence" and oppression of the whole.

So for example, my opinion on Taylor Swift or Hilary Clinton or Ice Spice or WomenonWomen beef will not see light of day outside of women spaces and so on. That may sound toxic girl love or not holding people accountable or shielding people from truth but that's where I am right now and that's what I'm on. And to be honest, these supremacy institutions have been doing it with themselves for the longest time, they keep all they dirt within their ranks and caucuses and present a unified and dignified front that allow people generally admire them and see their collective group enviable. They may hold the deepest grudge and hatred for someone from their sub class but understand how it reflects on them as a whole, and will either not speak on them at all or will even rather speak kindly about them. Of course, we should be moving as a society towards treating people based on their individual actions and choices, but to some extent, these narratives tend to be reinforced and turned into stereotypes when they are being repeatedly told about a specific demographic. So will I stop a judge from sentencing a woman thief to jail, no, never, will I however, start or contribute to a hate campaign, for said woman thief, not me of right now.

I guess it was part of I was saying here kind of (in a heated confused form)

#frame of reference #support womens wrongs #support women's right #antiracism #radical feminists do touch #rambles

[comradekatara]

kyoshi’s legacy: individualism vs. community

ty lee’s arc culminating in her joining the kyoshi warriors is significant due to her growth from resenting being part of a “matched set,” never allowed to exist as an individual amongst her identical sisters, to actively embracing the sisterhood of the kyoshi warriors, who all don identical facepaint and armor. joining the kyoshi warriors is a choice she makes, her first act of agency we see of her in the entire show that doesn’t stem from desperation. since their leader (suki) is not with them when she initially joins, this further highlights that ty lee is finally forging connections with people who adopt her into their community as a true equal.

in the shadow of kyoshi, multiple characters are established to look near-identical. kyoshi makes the devastating mistake of confusing firelord zoryu with his half-brother chaejin; later, a near-identical body double is hired by zoryu to be executed in yun’s place to appease the masses; and finally, when yangchen appears to kyoshi in the spirit world, kyoshi initially mistakes her for her mother jesa. conversely, zoryu comments that with kyoshi’s uniquely tall stature, it would be difficult to find anyone who could be mistaken for her.

the idea that even the most important people have lookalikes, that no one is as unique as they think they are—especially in the case of yun, whose life is destroyed when kyoshi “replaces” him (much like his body double—an average citizen plucked out of obscurity and forced to make choices in desperate circumstances); zoryu, who knows that his brother is plotting to usurp him, and is desperate to keep his position, despite not even particularly wanting the throne (desperately trying to maintain the power he believes is “rightfully his,” just like chaejin—only, he’s the good guy, right?); and yangchen, who is constantly compared to kyoshi (and kuruk) as the gold standard avatar whose legacy kyoshi is constantly reminded she will never live up to (an absent figure in her life who nevertheless shaped her and informed her legacy, much like jesa)—resonates with kyoshi’s character due to her status as someone who is simultaneously especially and not particularly unique.

for her intimidating height, her status as an orphan in yokoya, and of course, as the avatar, kyoshi has spent her whole life standing out. but due to the stigma surrounding her role in society, it takes a very long time for her to embrace her uniqueness, to allow herself to take up the space she deserves, rather than shrinking herself to appease others and remain unnoticed. conversely, as one of many servants at the avatar’s estate, as just another discarded lower class queer woman on the margins of society, and as a member of the flying opera company, painting her face to show solidarity with her group, kyoshi innately knows that she is part of something larger than being an individual. even when people want to celebrate kyoshi for being the avatar, she is constantly thinking about the legacy of the avatars who came before her, both good and bad, and how their actions paved a path that contextualizes all the decisions she must now make.

for generations, the kyoshi warriors have all donned the same uniform, including identical facepaint, other than their headgear, which differs slightly. they all carry the same weapons, wear the same armor, and paint their faces in the same way, hailing back to kyoshi’s own facepaint she initially donned as part of the flying opera company, and her iconic fans that the non-bending kyoshi warriors have adapted for their own fighting style inspired by her values. yes, all armies value cohesion, both aesthetically and in terms of fostering an “us vs them” mentality among the soldiers, but with the kyoshi warriors, it’s more than that. they are upholding a tradition that will outlive them. when they apply the facepaint and draw their fans, they are promoting the ideals of kyoshi.

in suki alone, we see just how impactful the values of communal living are to all the residents of kyoshi island (including but not limited to the warriors), and how emphasis on community rather than individuality has shaped and formed suki’s worldview. while she is technically the leader of the kyoshi warriors, she treats all of them as her peers, sisters even, without hesitation, valuing their input and their worth equally. while they all hold a great deal of respect for the avatar as a figure in general, it is kyoshi’s values they serve above all, values which kyoshi was uniquely equipped to promote.

once ty lee finally defies the rigid hierarchal imperialist power structure she was coerced into serving, she is invited to join a community that opposes the individualism and definitions of power promoted by the fire nation, instead promoting the communal ideals kyoshi fought for as the avatar, and as a poor, mixed, queer, and otherwise marginalized woman who grew up ostracized by most people around her. while ty lee claims that she wanted to find a way to stand out among her sisters, we see that she ultimately only values individualism under the influence of the fire nation. when outside of their dominion, she finds that standing out isn’t actually all that important to her; while the fire nation may value being better than others, being “special,” the kyoshi warriors do not believe in supremacy. they have a better offer: community, and equality.

#analysis #kyoshi #ty lee #suki #zoryu #yun #yangchen #jesa #suki alone #the shadow of kyoshi #ok I think that’s all the tags I need #lmao #this was in drafts for so long... #I’d almost forgotten about it entirely #but I like leaving analyses to sit for a while #gives me more time 2 ponder 2 cogitate 2 ruminate ... etc #I rly loved how suki alone just further emphasizes this #suki alone was soo good tho #like just. Gets It #anyway !!! #I love u kyoshi & ur warriors !!! mwah x

[max1461]

I think I have a general heuristic that power is antithetical to altruism. In a context where resources are constrained, any time you choose to use your resources helping others (with no expected benefit), you trade off against using those resources to further your own power. Thus, in the long run, we'd expect agents that use their resources solely to further their own power to out-compete those that act altruistically. Note that this applies only to true altruism—doing good solely for the good of others, expecting no benefit in return—and not to e.g. performative altruism, wherein you do good because you expect social rewards for appearing to act altruistically. This latter point will be important later.

Genuine altruism can certainly exist at the margins. Sometimes people really want to do good, and they have enough personal power (or sway in some powerful institution) that they can engage in limited altruistic activities. But in the long run, any person or institution that makes this their policy will simply be out-competed by those who don't.

Evolutionary, it seems that the human desire and capacity for altruism emerged as a solution to certain collective action problems. In essence, altruism exists in response to the same incentives that give rise to cartels. In certain ways it functions similarly: bad if you're on the outside, pretty nice if you're on the inside. Many humans have been driven by altruistic desires to search for cures to diseases. This is pretty good if you are another human, but extremely terrible if you are a Plasmodium malariae cell.

The point is that altruism as it subjectively feels, altruism "from the inside", is markedly different from altruism as it practically functions. Altruism feels (at least to me) like universal compassion, like a desire for the good of all beings to whom the concept of "good" might be applied. But altruism functions like a cartel, generating lots of good for a restricted group of beings (humans, certain subsets of humans) at the grave expense of all the others. And crucially, this is why altruism exists. If it didn't work like this, if it actually worked the way we imagine it (wherein we do good purely for the sake of it, possibly even in ways that come strictly to our own detriment), it would never have been selected for to begin with. This is also why (relatively) altruistic humans haven't been out-competed by psychopathic humans or whatever. The desire to help others in some abstract universal sense amounts, consistently enough in practice, to the action of helping only allies who can help you back.

Altruism needs to have these limitations if it is to be selected for, but it doesn't need to have these limitations built in to the subjective experience of the individual. They can just as well be imposed by various secondary factors, as they are for us. The irony, then, for those of us who aspire to some sort of truly universal compassion, is that we've only been gifted this desire by evolution because it knows we cannot actually succeed at fulfilling it. Or, at least, that sufficiently many people will fail that we still out-compete our less social rivals. Of course, evolution cannot factor in environmental change, and technology represents human-driven environmental change, which is clearly our only hope here: changing the rules of the game. That's an example of the inner alignment problem for you.

(By the way, this self-conception of humanity as a misaligned intelligence produced by evolution is quite a fun one. You should try it!)

But back to my original point: I suspect that altruism, real altruism as we subjectively experience it, cannot ever emerge as a strategy that works in practice as such in a competitive environment. Why would it? What would the advantage be? And the rat race for power is a highly competitive environment. Among human institutions—governments, corporations, and so on—"altruism", or things that look like it, can emerge in various forms and guises: as cartels, as woke marketing, as social welfare programs. But these things are always motivated at some level by benefits they bring to the power and stability of the institution in question. Genuine altruism—"we are doing this purely because we believe it is right"—can emerge at the margins as a consequence of personal human endeavor, but it can only ever be marginal. If it were to become a matter of course, it could easily be out-competed.

Or at least, that's the heuristic. Maybe it's not true. Maybe we can use culture and technology to get ourselves into some kind of altruistic stable equilibrium. Or something. I don't know. But at least in present society, it seems pretty true. And, as an evolutionarily misaligned intelligence, this seems quite a depressing fact. But the lesson to take away isn't pessimism, I don't think. It's that if we want our institutions to serve us all (for whatever value of "us" you are interested in), we must construct our systems so that it is in the direct interest of all people and institutions of power that they serve the needs of the many. If it is only possible, in the general case, for the powerful to serve their own interests, then we must make our needs their interests.

#society #navel gazing #for posterity

[parcai]

Can you explain why the racism in shadow and bone was inadequate? No pressure of course but if you're willing, it would be appreciated

yep

shadow and bone’s racism themes revolve entirely around anti asian racism. this point is not made to take away from the trauma of other races, but it is simply meant to point out that shadow and bone made the active decision not to explore racism among other races, for example with jesper fahey. i don’t think it’s a bad thing they’re only choosing to explore racism with one group, as poc should not only have their stories told through trauma, and i’m glad jesper’s happy. <3 but i hope this clarifies my previous and bold “it’s asian-specific racism in ravka” statement.

on an unrelated note, anti asian hate is rarely discussed in media, probably partially because of the absurd model minority myth, and in the american education system (i can’t speak for other countries), it’s almost not covered at all, despite its prevalence and importance in the building of this nation and many others. i was actually intrigued to see anti asian discrimination discussed. i think, with covid 19 and the millionth resurgence of anti asian hate, this is a good time to discuss it in media. however, it was handled extremely poorly, and the version of racism portrayed is a white’s idea of what racism is. the people who face racism are alina (half shu han, which is based on china, and who is played by jessie mei li, who is half chinese) and inej (suli, which is based on south asia, and who is played by amita suman, who is nepalese).

with alina, all racist comments about her are about her appearance. people comment on her traditionally east asian eyes, etc, and while this is a good starting place for exploring racism in fiction, this isn’t enough to end at. inej is called a dirty suli or something once throughout the entire series, though we have no idea why. and that is the main reason their racism depiction is so poor:

what white people don’t understand, and this applies for any form of racism toward any minority, is that racism is founded on history. it is implied that shu han is at war with ravka (i think? it’s so vague), and there is no explanation whatsoever for what suli means or why inej would face racism for this. shadow and bone’s idea of racism is based solely on appearance with no regard for why racism would breed in ravka/other places.

this idea of racism is so surface level and ignorant and disgusting. no one is going to come up to alina or another shu han person and just be like “wow, monolids are so ten years ago,” and that’s that. racism is not that shallow--asians have faced racism for being "unclean" (there's a large history behind this, aka why covid 19 is being blamed on the chinese, see the chinese exclusion act and asian treatment during the world wars for details), for "stealing jobs" (see yellow peril also, see anti asian propaganda, see what happened to so many chinatowns). south asians have their own history that i won't get into as inej is a side character in s&b, but you can research that as well. all in all, this idea that making alina or even inej's appearances more white will solve all racism is deeply troubling. because, truth is, as soon as they learned a white passing version of alina was from shu han, they'd still kill her.

shadow and bone fails to acknowledge the deep hatred behind racism and tries to appeal to absolving white guilt, rather than truly depicting the horrific nature of anti asian violence. shadow and bone talks about how diverse its cast is and lauds the mixed race writers without telling us which races wrote this, as anti asian violence is unique to racism against all poc, just as each marginalized group's racism is. shadow and bone takes years of pain and blames it on facial features or the color of one's skin without giving us any understanding of why ravkans hate them lol. shadow and bone doesn't understand that beauty standards are an effect of racism, not the cause, and it’s laughable to pretend otherwise

(bonus weird things that have new implications w alina being asian in the adaption and subsequently not being addressed at all: a white man burning antlers into her collarbone and enslaving her, the fact that genya changes marie to look asian (also this isn’t the first time lol remember wylan and kuwei from soc?), the fact that their religious saint is now asian and exceptional and valuable and wow now nobody questions her shu han ancestry, they called her a “rice eater” and a “half breed” lol didn’t white people write this why are you inventing a slur, etc, etc, etc)

#shadow and bone #anti asian discrimination #anti asian violence #racism #grishaverse #answered #anon #s&b #shadow and bone netflix #long post #anti shadow and bone

[dathen]

Saw a truly vile taker earlier so I have to write about the differences between asexuality and desexualization or I WILL explode on a molecular level.  This is gonna be long because I’ve been angry about this for Many Years and can’t take it anymore so BUCKLE IN.

There’s a popular attitude that asexuality + any other marginalized identity or experience is a sort of Forbidden Combination because it inherently “desexualizes” that identity.  This is a viewpoint that has drawn language from some genuine discussions of desexualization, but has been twisted and hyped by acephobes and exclusionists to the point where even people within those groups are afraid to write or headcanon characters that are asexual + disabled, female, a person of color, neurodivergent, mentally ill, trans, etc.

First and most importantly:  I cannot even put into words how damaging and stifling this is to those of us who are one of these “forbidden combinations.”  There’s this level of shame that often comes with the territory that often walls us off from more generalized positivity and support.  Acting like imagining or writing a character that resembles us is a Sin (tm) makes this SO much worse.  

For example, I am ADHD, most likely autistic, and asexual.  The first time I ever felt free to explore the idea of a character who is both asexual and neurodivergent was with a canonically asexual character, and it was the most remarkably freeing and exciting experience.  In my experience, having an ace headcanon for a character that even hinted at neurodivergence would get you dogpiled with accusations of ableism, so I avoided it for years and years out of fear--but I could FINALLY write about someone who resembled me!  I could finally explore how those two sides of me interact and interconnect!  I hate knowing that the reason why it’s more accepted to start with the ace character and add other headcanons was because of this idea that asexuality is a demeaning identity (conflating it with desexualization, which I’ll get into later), but regardless it’s been a great time.

...And now I’m seeing people insisting that, no, even if you’re starting with a canonically ace character, adding a headcanon for another marginalized identity is also bad and “desexualizes” that identity.  Now it’s a “these two things are never allowed near each other” rather than just “ace headcanons are bad for anything but a white, able-bodied, neurotypical, able-bodied, cishet man.”

All of the above completely disregards the actual execution of the writing for a harmful and lazy attitude of “never allow these two identities near each other.”  But execution matters.  Learning what desexualization actually is, and not treating it as a synonym with asexuality, is vital for undoing these attitudes.

Why is desexualization harmful?

This is highly summarized, but the gist is: 

- Infantilizing the person, treating them like they can’t be a consenting adult in a sexual situation.

- Depriving the person of agency, which ties into the above issue of treating them like they can’t consent.  This is also an overlapping issue with oversexualization, which treats a person like a sexual object regardless of their input.

- Treating the person as undesirable; the disgust reaction of “I hate imagining this person in a sexual/romantic situation, so let’s just wall them off from the possibility completely”

- In fandom, a character being dismissed or sidelined in circles that focus on romantic/sexual content.

These are also terrible things to portray about asexual people.  If the execution of an asexual character or headcanon includes the above, it’s demeaning and acephobic!  But if an asexual depiction does not include these elements, it is not desexualization.  

I want to keep this post fandom nonspecific since this is an issue EVERYWHERE I went, but the character in question for the “you can’t headcanon him as anything but white or it’s desexualization” accusation I saw (ironically written by a white person) a) is an adult, b) has confidently set boundaries for sexual activity, c) is unabashedly portrayed as receiving romantic interest & desire for the entire course of the show, and d) is the main character and almost always centered in fanworks.  It’s practically a checklist for why the above wouldn’t apply.  But with this lazy, harmful approach of “asexuality can’t be combined with any other marginalized identity,” it still gets the “problematic” label slapped on it.  And let me tell you, the asexual PoC in the discords I’m in were NOT happy with that post telling them “just :) think about why this is wrong :))”

TLDR: Before you accuse people of “desexualizing” a character by combining asexuality + another marginalized identity/experience, learn what desexualization actually is.  Learn how those elements also harm asexual people.  Embrace the reality that asexual people of many backgrounds and experiences exist, and we deserve the right to be portrayed and portray ourselves.  Learn the difference between a positive portrayal and one done to dismiss or demean a character.  And SUPPORT ASEXUAL PEOPLE instead of treating us like a demeaning identity.

#asexuality #acephobia #aphobia #desexualization #racism #ableism #@ the fandom you all know this is for: I am not adding fandom tags but highly encourage reblogs #yes I know it's long but you're probably used to that by now #discourse

[studythenight-away]

Hello! As finals season (aka 5-research-papers-due-in-a-week season) dawns on many of you, I thought I would share the process I used to write papers in college. This made writing long research papers much less daunting (but can also work on shorter papers). I really hope this helps some of you who feel stuck. Especially during these ridiculous times, when you're stuck at home and might have other uncontrollable factors affecting your mental health, a clear framework of what to do could be helpful. Good luck, my friends! You got this.

About me

I graduated college in 2018 with degrees in Political Science + International Studies and will be starting law school this fall. I wrote nearly 20 15 to 25-page papers, never earning below an A. I loved researching about my topics but hated writing. It's tedious, takes so much time, and everything I write sounds bad at first. Plus, I was a terrible procrastinator so most of these essays were written in under a week. Talk about stress.

Over time I found a process that worked for me, one that made churning out a paper seem straightforward, like going through a factory line rather than this terrifying concept of writing 10,000 words. It kept me sane without decreasing the quality of my work (or more importantly, how much I learned!) 

I'm thinking about making a short video to show this in action… let me know if that could be helpful!

Step 1: Research

How you organize your research is a key step in keeping you sane. Usually I'll have a pile of 20 books in my dorm along with dozens of JSTOR tabs open on my laptop, and that can get overwhelming very fast. Right now just focus on collecting ideas, not developing an argument or even an outline! As with most research papers, you could be starting with little to no background information on the topic, so it is still too early to be thinking about an argument.

Put all your research in one document

Open up a new doc: this will be the heart of everything. For a 15-page paper I usually end up with around 14-18 pages of typed research, 10 pt font, single spaced, tiny margins. This seems like a lot, but essentially all I do is type up anything I read that seems relevant to my topic, so luckily this step does not require that much brain power. Just type type type!

Use the table of contents

Find the chapter(s) that are actually relevant instead of skimming through the whole book. Time is of the essence here!

Use Zotero, cite right away

You can also use easybib or whatever you're used to, but keep track of your sources. I like Zotero because I can keep a log of all of my sources and copy the footnote or bibliography version whenever needed. Before you even begin reading, cite the source and copy it into your research doc. This will save you so much time later when you have to put in your citations in the actual paper. 

Here is an example of what my research doc looks like:

Full citation is my heading for each source just so it’s crystal clear

I ignore all typos (I don’t think there are any in this part though, go me!) because my head is buried in the book just trying to get all the info down

I always start with the page number so I know what to cite when I go back

Create a shorthand 

While typing up research, you might think of something that the author didn't talk about that you'll want to write in your paper. Or perhaps a few sentences already start to form. Put them all in one place, with your research, so you know what source you'll have to cite to then lead into your idea. I type "!@#" before anything that is strictly my own idea so I'm never confused. It's fast and stands out.

This is an example: the two bullet points above are evidence from my source, which made me think of this argument I could make, which I noted with “!@#”

Step 2: Read Your Research

Now that you have all your information, go back and read through it all. Every time you read about a new theme/person/event, write it down somewhere. You may come up with a list of 20+ different ideas in your research. No matter how small, as long as there is something about it, write it down. Each of these mini themes is going to end up being a paragraph in your paper or combined with another mini theme. 

Once you’ve made your list, look for larger overarching themes. In the paper I’ve shown you, I had mini categories like “political party x” “religion” “labor groups” “little organization” and “hierarchy.” When I looked back I though, hey these are all groups and how groups are working together, so they each became their own mini paragraph under the subsection of “Alliances.”

As with most research paper structures, I try to find three general themes/subsections (like an extended version of that 5-paragraph essay we wrote in middle school). It makes the paper less messy and also makes sure I’m not covering things that are beyond a reasonable scope.

During this step, you are also searching for your thesis. It won’t be your final version. As you fill in your outline in the next step you may make slight changes. But this is definitely when you start thinking about it.

Step 3: Outline

We’re ready to outline! Once I’ve collected all my different themes and organized all my subsections and paragraphs, it’s time to fill in that outline. I start a new doc just for the outline and take advantage of google doc’s headings function to make a clear document outline.

Here comes the fun part, I read through my research one more time, this time copy and pasting all my research into each section of the outline. The document outline in google docs makes this easy because I can just click on each subheading to get me there (super helpful when you’re dealing with 15+ pages of research).

Here is what it looks like:

Let’s say I need to add something to my outline about labor groups. Boom, labor groups. Also, the typos are really abound here haha

Step 4: Write the Paper

Okay, I get it, easier said than done. BUT! You already have everything set up. Your outline is essentially just a list of your paragraphs and all you have to do is paraphrase, cite, and create a topic sentence. And that’s how you should think about this: you’re essentially transforming bullet points into sentences and adding footnotes. 

In high school my English teacher introduced us to Sh*tty First Drafts for creative writing, but honestly the same applies to research papers. Sometimes I’ll even have phrases like “wait no that’s not what I meant but basically...” and when I go back to edit, I realize that what came after “but basically...” is fine! And I keep it. So just start typing.

How do you cite while you write? Because we’re trying to get a constant stream of writing going, inserting proper footnotes after each sentence you type is too bothersome. I usually split screen with my outline and my paper so I just copy and paste a few words from my bullet point into my footnote, like so:

(This is from a different paper about cluster munitions.)

Step 5: Edit the Paper

I work best when I print out my first draft and make all edits in red pen. I feel more productive and can visually see where I want to move sentences and what I need to change. The more red there is the better I can feel the paper getting. (Whether or not that’s true doesn’t matter. We’re trying to stay motivated here!) When it’s all digital I don’t really see the progress. Plus, once I finish all the red, I get another moment of passive brain work, where all I’m doing is transferring edits rather than thinking. And at this point in the process, that kind of relief is much welcomed. 

The good thing about this process is there’s not usually a need to cut entire paragraphs or pages because the paper you end up with is just a formalized version of your outline. Because you started with such a detailed outline, the cutting and editing now is just to refine your word choices and get rid of the “but basically”s. You’re almost there!

Step 6: Replace your citations

Now it’s time to go back and replace your footnotes with actual citations. Zotero makes this easy because in Word you can just insert and add the page number, and it’ll automatically do “Ibid.” for you when needed. Ctrl+f in the original research doc to quickly find the source.

Step 7: One More Read-Through and Submit!

Congratulations!! You’ve got a fully-researched and well-backed paper! Of course, even though the process is straightforward, it’s still a lot of work. In ideal situations I would start researching two weeks before the deadline, but if need be, I believe I’ve done this all in three miserable panic-filled days as well. 

Please message me if you have any questions at all! I really hope some of you find this helpful! Good luck!

#studyblr #college #university #writing #essay #study tips #studytna #original #research #research paper #study #student #school #you can do it!

[byologee]

an actually practical guide to being premed and getting into med school by someone who did it successfully

Majors and Classes:

Personally I feel you should choose a major that will be complementary to your premed studies-- something STEM or social science based that overlaps with your premed classes and will allow you to take upper level science classes that relate to physiology, disease and illness, pharmacology, etc. HOWEVER do not let this deter you from majoring in a non-bio STEM area like biochem or from pursuing a different science or liberal arts major.

That being said, consider double majoring in Public Health because it is very relevant to premed and going into medicine.

Make sure you take the correct order of bio and chem classes. This is important so that you take classes at the appropriate time when you have the appropriate skill level and so that you do not have any gaps in your premed education or major classes.

Be aware of what upper level bio and chem classes require prereqs that are not a part of your major requirements or premed requirements; for example some upper level bio classes require microbio which is not a premed requirement at all schools NOR always a major requirement. Plan your underclassmen years accordingly to allow you to fit in certain prereqs for upper level classes.

If you plan on taking lower level lab intensive courses, take them as an underclassman-- they will prepare you with basic lab skills you can apply to upper level classes and to irl lab work, plus most of your classmates will be underclassmen. You do not want to take these lower level lab intensive courses as an upperclassman. You will be bored and probably annoyed.

Take an intro level public health class as an underclassmen to see if you are interested in public health; this will also be relevant to your med school apps.

Gen chem 1 and orgo 1 are weedout classes. Many people will switch from premed and/or bio to public health or prePA after taking gen chem 1 and orgo 1. This is normal; don’t be judgemental. If you’re the one switching to public health or prePA, don’t feel bad or ashamed.

Do not take orgo 1 or 2 with super hard progressors. It’s just not worth it. Many people say that harder orgo progressors prepare you better for the MCAT, but this is false as the MCAT does not have a lot of orgo on it. Many people will fail out of orgo even without super hard professors. Set yourself up for success by taking orgo profs with good reputations, not profs with reputations for failing everyone, being purposefully difficult, or just nasty.

If you take a (relatively) “easy” professor for orgo 1, under no circumstances should you take a hard prof for orgo 2. You will suffer.

The best way to study orgo 1 and 2 is to memorize all the reactions. Copy reactions until you have them memorized. Then you can simply apply what you’ve memorized to synthesis reactions. This works for NMR too, just memorize what NMR specs look like and apply.

Always go to TA office hours for gen chem 1, 2 lab and orgo 1, 2 lab. The lab reports are very difficult and the TAs can help you more than professors can. Professors will be mostly absent for labs. TAs will know what’s up.

You do not need to take biochem 2 for the MCAT, biochem 1 will suffice as it generally covers amino acids and proteins and not respiration and metabolism. Most of the biochem on the MCAT is about amino acids and proteins; all metabolism can be self-studied. (This is my opinion to save you time, if your advisors tell you otherwise LISTEN TO THEM and not me).

If you take AP psychology you do not need to take intro psych.

You need to take a sociology course for the MCAT and premed reqs. You should take The Sociology of Deviance if offered at your college as this is more relevant to the MCAT than intro socy.

If you have to take a professional writing class for Gen Eds, try to take a science writing or health professions writing course as these will be relevant to you.

Take stats even if you don’t have to as it is very relevant for understanding papers.

If you switch to another pre-health path like prePA or prepharm you will generally have to take different prereqs. Clear this with your advisors and come up with a plan.

Med schools like to see a diversity in courses and not just science courses, so you need to take at least 8 humanities credit hours. Diversify your college education and take interesting and relevant humanities courses; this will also help with CARS on the MCAT.

Research

Many medical schools want you to have research experience. You can do clinical research or bench research.

You should start research early, either 2nd semester freshman year or summer before sophomore year.

The best advice is to research professors and PIs in the BSCI and public health departments and email ones you are interested in about working in their lab. You can do this before 2nd semester freshman year or during that semester. Email example: Hi Dr. X, I am an undergraduate freshman at UMD and am looking for research opportunities in X field. I discovered your lab and read your paper, “X,” and am very interested in this subject! Elaborate on what interested you I was wondering if there are any open positions in your lab for an undergraduate researcher. I have taken X, X, X, courses. I would be interested in working in your lab for 2 years. Please let me know if you have any openings! Best, X

PIs generally look for undergrads to commit to 2 years of research, but you can quit earlier if you feel like it. This is also why you should do research earlier-- that way you are not cramming it in during your upperclassman years.

The goal is to get some abstracts, posters, presentations, and maybe a pub out of it, but these things aren’t absolutely necessary.

Clinical Experience

Med schools like to see 10 months of continuous clinical experience, which translates to about 200 hours. However, this number is too low and to be really competitive for med school apps you should aim for 1000 hours if not more.

The best way to gain clinical experience is to work part time as a scribe, CNA, MA, or tech. You can take CNA and MA courses the summer before sophomore or junior year and apply to positions online. CNA/MA gives you a lot of experience working with patients. Scribing gives you a lot of experience working with doctors and seeing what they do. It’s best to start clinical experience sophomore year or junior year so you can gain enough hours prior to applying.

You should also have clinical volunteering hours which you can get by volunteering at hospitals such as Children’s or Shady Grove or any other local hospital. Other clinics also accept volunteers, you just have to look around. Check your health professions advising office (hereon abbreviated as HPAO) for their recommendations and job listings if available.

You can also shadow doctors. Your HPAO may have a continuously updating list of physicians in your area who are available to shadow. You can also genuinely just email local providers. Note that you will need to shadow a DO if applying DO.

Check your HPAO listserv for job openings and clinical volunteering opportunities.

You can find jobs by googling “CNA job near me” or “scribe job near me” and browsing postings on Indeed and other job sites, or alternatively postings on hospital sites.

Community Service

Med schools like to see 10-12 months of continuous community service, or around 200 hours. This is too low, and you should aim for around 600 to be a competitive applicant.

Join school listservs and look for volunteer postings. Go to your school’s First Look Fair or college organization fair (usually held at the beginning of each semester) and sign up for emails from clubs that do volunteering or other various organizations. There are many organizations on campus that do volunteering and service.

Ideally you want to work with marginalized communities off campus. This sounds shitty but you want to work with communities who need it. You should also aim for a sustained service opportunity, not a once a month thing but a weekly, continuous experience. Volunteering through clubs and societies like the women’s premed organization are not valid experiences.

Google local homeless shelters, women’s shelters, STD testing clinics, and food banks-- these are all really good places to volunteer at. You can also volunteer at crisis hotlines.

You can also utilize clinical experience for community service, so volunteering at a hospital, clinic, urgent care, etc. But you also need non-clinical community service, so make sure to prioritize both.

Consistency is key. Doing an experience for a longer period of time (ex. 4 hours every week for 10 months- year) is very valuable. Even doing an hour of volunteering at the same place every week for two years is great. Building relationships, gaining experience, understanding consistency-- med schools value this. Long term experience is very important.

Extracurriculars

You should also be involved in extraneous, non-community service based organizations and extracurriculars. It’s ok if these organizations include some aspect of community service. This can also include paid-positions that are not clinical.

Examples include campus ministries, sports, dance, art clubs, music/choir, social, restorative, and environmental justice organizations, interest groups, tutoring, co-ed frats, etc.

Joining societies, like the American Women’s Medical Association or your college’s namesake Pre-Med Society is a great way to do extracurriculars, build your resume, and get leadership experience. You can also join major-specific societies.

Check with your HPAO for a list of pre-health societies you can join. Your college will also have a website or list of clubs and orgs you can investigate.

Med schools like to see that you are well-rounded, so having a variety of experiences is important.

Advising

It is extremely important that you build a relationship with your advisors. It is very important that you outline all the classes you want to take with them and when AND that you meet with them every semester. Discuss your plans with them, ask questions, ask for suggestions and tips. If you make any major or minor changes you need to speak with them too. They are a resource; use them.

You will also need to build a relationship with your pre-med advisors at your HPAO. You may need to do an intro workshop to be able to meet with an advisor at your HPAO.

Meet with an HPAO advisor every semester to outline your courseload, volunteering, clinical work, extracurriculars, and application plan. Your HPAO advisor will help you craft a narrative for med school apps and can help advise you with regards to coursework and what opportunities to pursue. They can help you decide when to take the MCAT, when to apply, devise a school list, etc. so it’s best to start meeting with them early. The better your relationship with your HPAO advisor, the stronger the recommendation letter you’ll get from them.

If your grades drop you NEED to speak with an HPAO advisor. You should be checking in with them every semester to go over your grades and course history and make sure you are on the right track to apply. This is really really crucial.

If your HPAO offers workshops for applying to med school, crafting a school list, financing med school, writing a personal statement, etc. then GO TO THEM. Utilize the resources that are available to you.

Make sure you are on your HPAO listserv.

If your HPAO offers peer to peer advising consider using this resource to speak with current college students who are going through the application process.

2 Areas Med Schools Look At: Leadership + Diversity and Inclusion

These are two hot topics med schools care about. Here is how to address them.

Leadership: there are numerous ways to gain leadership experience; getting elected to a leadership position in a club or organization, being a TA or UA, getting a management position at your job, or being any kind of team leader in a community service endeavor. The important thing is that you are able to express what you learned and how you grew or changed from that experience, plus how you will apply what you learned in the future.

Diversity and Inclusion: Hot topics in medicine right now, my advice is to read about diversity and inclusion in medicine and what it means-- read articles, op-eds, peer-reviewed papers, etc. There are a few ways to go about this issue; one is to find out what is unique about you that you can contribute to medicine, the second (and most important) is to work with underserved and marginalized communities. Being able to express in med school apps and interviews that you understand the difficulties faced by marginalized groups and are committed to better health and wellness outcomes is REALLY important. Being able to show awareness about diversity in medicine is so key. To do this, spend time working with the marginalized and underserved through community service and clinical work. Be able to show med schools that you understand and care about diversity and inclusion.

You should be thinking about leadership and diversity/inclusion throughout all four years of undergrad-- how will you incorporate these things into your app?

Letters of Rec

Getting letters of rec (you will need 5-6) is very important. To do this you will need to build relationships with the following…

Professors: You will need recommendations from 2 science professors and 1-2 non-science professors. To get recs you need to go to office hours, ask questions in class and outside of class, email profs questions, stay after class to ask questions, participate, show an interest in what they are teaching. Office hours are important unless the class is small. Build relationships with professors ALL THROUGHOUT undergrad. Go to office hours even if you don’t have questions, especially in junior and senior year. Go and ask them to review prior tests and papers. Ask if you can explain concepts to them to get clarification. Listen to other peoples’ questions, piggyback off them. A prof is not going to write a LOR unless they know you.

Physicians: You need to have clinical experience to get an MD LOR. And you NEED an MD or DO LOR. Get the clinical experience, then ask whatever physician you worked with the most for an LOR. Many will say you do not need a DO LOR to apply to DO schools; I cannot advocate for this as I was told by my premed advisor that I needed one. Be safe and get one if you plan to apply DO.

Other: If there is anyone else who knows you well and can write a strong LOR, ask them. Your boss, manager, volunteering organizer, team leader, club sponsor-- whomever.

Committee Letter (CL): Many med schools require these. Your college probably has a unique CL process. Go to workshops, research, and ask your advisors how this process works. Maintain a relationship with your premed advisors to obtain a good CL letter.

Building a Narrative

This is talked about a lot junior and senior year when you are applying, but it’s important to think about building your narrative all four years of undergrad.

What this means is that you want to center your application around a theme or common experiences. You want to build a cohesive resume of common volunteering, clinical, and extracurricular experiences that complement each other. You should be able to summarize all of your experiences and draw a narrative about you based on what you have done.

For example, my narrative centered around marginalized and underserved communities as well as social and restorative justice. I used my volunteering experience with marginalized, underserved kids and my experience working with traditionally underserved patients to explain why I want to be a physician, what my medical vision and mission is, and what I have learned about medicine. Because I am interested in family medicine I was able to tie my experience working with the underserved into my goal of improving community health and welfare among marginalized groups. I also discussed how my passion for social and restorative justice ties into my clinical experiences and how I plan to integrate this passion into my practice of medicine.

One of my friends centered her narrative around being a Spanish-speaking person of color AND the descendent of physicians and how this has shaped many of her experiences in medicine and healthcare.

You don’t have to plan out your experiences to conform to a pre-chosen narrative. You do have to be able to draw common themes and lessons from your experiences, however.

MCAT

Talk to your premed advisor about when to take the MCAT and what classes you need to take prior to taking the MCAT. Ideally you want to take biochem 1, physics 2, and sociology of deviance before taking the mcat along with all other prereqs.

You also want to take the MCAT before applying (ideally) so that you can craft an appropriate school list. Your MCAT will give you a boundary for which schools you can apply to. Think of the MCAT as a checkpoint you must pass to apply to certain med schools.

Many people start content review six months before their test. Some start 2-3 months prior. Do what you think is comfortable.

You can use books or purchase review courses (Kaplan, Princeton Review) or use free online review content (Khan Academy).

Practicing how to take the test is more important than content review. What that means is that doing practice tests will help you more than reviewing content. Take as many practice tests as you can (AAMC makes their own).

Do a practice test one day, review what you got wrong the next day. Repeat this enough times and you will do well on the MCAT (511+).

Don’t anticipate retaking the MCAT. But don’t exclude it as a possibility either, so plan when you take the MCAT accordingly.

General Advice:

ALWAYS listen to your premed advisors. Do not elevate advice given by random strangers (including me) on the internet above advice given by your advisors. They know you. They know your history, your transcript, your personality. Us internet people do not. Trust your advisors. They know what they are doing.

Take everything said on the internet by supposed med school app experts, med students, doctors, premeds, SDN mods and commenters, premed redditors, and other random internet people with a BIG grain of salt. We don’t always know what we are talking about.

Limit the amount of time spent on SDN and premed reddit as well as other premed online forums. It can get unhealthy real fast.

You don’t have to study all the time. It’s ok to take breaks and have fun.

Don’t be afraid to reach out and get help or ask questions. Everyone else is struggling too. Your professors want you to do well.

Do non-science related things. Give your mind a break and diversify your experience.

Failing a test is not the end of the world. Many people fail tests and classes. You won’t be alone. Always remember that the curve exists.

If you are having a problem, talk to your professors and TAs. They are there to help.

Study with people. Quiz each other. Make study guides and ask each other questions. Help each other out.

Utilize campus resources- tutoring, study groups, yoga classes, conferences and seminars, counseling, etc.

Buy the MSAR when you start building your school list. It will make comparing schools so much easier.

A B or even a C is not going to ruin your chance of getting into medical school. People get in to med schools with 3.1 GPAs. You will be ok if you fail one test, have a few Cs or Bs, withdraw from a class, etc.

Getting into med school is more about fit than anything else. It’s not about how smart you are or how good your GPA or MCAT is. Everyone has a 4.0 Everyone has a 528. What matters is fit-- who you are, what you believe, what your values are, what your aspirations are-- and how you can demonstrate these things through your application, interview, and overall experiences. Remember that top tier schools are research-oriented (Einstein, Baylor, Johns Hopkins, Harvard, Stanford, NYU, Duke, Mayo, UChicago, Mt Sinai) whereas other lower tier will be more community focused.

ALL med schools (excluding caribbean med schools and a few DO schools, looking at you DMUCOM and LECOM) are valid. All med schools are good med schools. Med school is med school is med school. You will come out with an MD or DO and you will get into residency.

Always apply DO. Just do it. DO is great, DO is a viable option and good opportunity. Do it. Do not exclude it.

Links and other Resources:

AAMC: MD applicants, helpful resources in general https://students-residents.aamc.org/preparing-medical-school/preparing-medical-school

AACOM: DO applicants https://www.aacom.org/become-a-doctor/how-to-apply-to-osteopathic-medical-college

MSAR: handbook to med schools (MD) https://students-residents.aamc.org/medical-school-admission-requirements/medical-school-admission-requirements-applicants

AAMC’s how to apply to med school https://students-residents.aamc.org/applying-medical-school/applying-medical-school

AAMC’s FAQ and tips to creating a good app: https://students-residents.aamc.org/ask-experts/ask-experts-create-winning-application

Why Diversity Matters in Healthcare https://explorehealthcareers.org/career-explorer/diversity-matters-health-care/

#premed #prehealth #studyblr #med school #mcat #my posts #mine

[kareofbears]

margin of error

Sophia knows a lot, but that does not mean she understands much of anything at all.

Or, Sophia struggles to grasp why Akira and Ryuji don't follow her predictive algorithm.

read on ao3 or below the cut :)

Sophia knows a lot.

She can tell you almost anything in the known world in an instant. Calculate the radius of the sun. Who won Best Picture three years ago. The outfit to wear when you need to 'dress to impress.' Just yesterday, she was able to find them a bath, a takoyaki restaurant, and an overnight camping site within 0.3 milliseconds. That’s not very many seconds.

Sophia knows a lot, but that does not mean she understands much of anything at all.

She’s quiet while she’s propped on the phone stand, watching the rest of them lounge in the RV. There’s a shape to the interior that wasn’t there before—where it had been pristine when they had first gotten it, now it’s littered with crumbs and instant-food packaging despite Makoto’s half-hearted attempts at scolding them for it. Empty surfaces are filled with knick-knacks, stuffies and a plastic ramen bowl rattling gently along with the RV.

There’s a rare lull amongst them, a moment of quiet. Most of them were napping away the road, gently snoring and bodies jostling whenever a pothole hits, oblivious to the scenery that passes by. Only the soft tunes of pop music from the front and the hum of the engine broke the quiet.

Other than Makoto, there were only two people awake: Akira, scribbling in his journal, and Ryuji, watching him do it. They sat across from each other in the booth, with Ryuji’s chin propped against his hand.

Probability and pinpoint accuracy is what she excels at, and being able to apply them to her friends excites her. Not to mention, she hasn’t been wrong yet.

Idly, she runs the numbers—according to the data she’s collected from spending time with them, the silence will be broken by Ryuji within approximately two minutes. Pulling up a time from within Akira’s phone, she waits eagerly.

A minute passes, and then another. And another. Akira is still scribbling in his neat penmanship and Ryuji is still watching him doing it, unspeaking.

Frowning, she double-checks her calculations. No errors that she can see. It seems that he simply does not want to speak. This is surprising, and very unlike him. He is not usually this quiet. In the Metaverse, he is by far the loudest of them; calling on his Persona’s name can often leave her own ears ringing.

The real world does not stray from that data. His voice is clear in crowded areas, helpful in guiding their big group throughout bustling cities. He is often shushed by the girls when they are trying to sleep at night—Futaba even goes as far as to kick the ceiling from her bunk bed.

The data is strong and sure. There should not be a reason that she should be wrong in this assumption unless there’s a confounding variable that she had missed.

Akira looks up and catches his eye. “Am I boring you?” he asks quietly.

Ryuji shakes his head, grinning. “Couldn’t be happier,” he whispers back.

Sophia’s about to ask when Makoto cuts her off.

“Wake up everyone. We’re here.”

—

“Okay,” Akira calls. His voice isn’t raised, despite the crowded street of downtown Sendai, but they all straighten up. “We’re probably not going to spend too much time here, especially once we take over the Jail. Grab what you need now—snacks for the trip. Shopping. Souvenirs. Frozen pineapple. Any questions?” Yusuke raises his hand. “Yes, I’ll pay for you.” The hand falls back down, relieved.

“Cool. How about we meet back here…” he squints at the large clock hanging on the wall, hand blocking out the blaring sun. “In an hour?”

A chorus of agreements rolls through them as they rush out, excited to explore a new city. “Good speech,” Sophia pipes up from his hand. “Do you do them often?”

“I try not to,” he yawns. His thick black hair is even more unruly than usual, glasses barely hiding the light blue that’s beginning to form underneath his eyes. “Most of the time, they can handle themselves fine. All they need is a schedule and some rules to work with.”

When she doesn’t answer, Akira brings his phone up. “What? Did I say something?”

“It’s because she’s worried about you, you moron,” a disgruntled voice says.

Akira’s gaze flickers towards it. “You’re still here?”

“Of course I am,” Ryuji says. “You really think I’d leave without saying goodbye? Glad I didn’t either, cause you look like shit.”

“Thanks.”

“Still pretty, though. No worries about that part.” He shoves his hand deep in his pocket, stray yen clinking against each other as he rummages. After a moment, he throws something at Akira. “Catch.”

He plucks it out from the air with ease. “Car keys?” he asks, surprised.

“Grabbed them from Makoto before she ran off for stationery shopping.” Ryuji reaches forward, gently turning Akira’s head this way and that, frowning. “I told you to quit staying up so late. You’re exhausted.”

“I am not.”

“He is,” Sophia refutes. “Last night, he had approximately four hours of sleep, with only four minutes of that being REM sleep.”

“I told you. She’s even bringing up computer stuff now.”

“I think you are thinking about RAM, Ryuji.”

“Whatever,” he shakes his head. “Look, just head to the RV, get some shut-eye. You can finally sleep in a proper bed that isn’t an overheating tent with three sweaty dudes and a cat. Oh, and trade phones with me.”

He hands it over without hesitation, sliding Ryuji’s phone into his own pocket. “Why?”

“You have the grocery list in here, yeah? Not to mention, I don’t want Sophia getting bored while you nap it up.” He looks down at her. “Hi, by the way.”

“Hi!”

Akira still doesn’t seem convinced. “But I promised Yusuke—”

“Who’s with Ann now, shopping like they’d die if they didn’t get the perfect skirt to fit her next shoot,” he says, uncompromising. “Chill. It’s fine. We’ll survive an hour without Joker keeping an eye on us.”

They stare each other down for a long moment with Sophia watching. She does not need to run the numbers on this one; Akira will not allow himself to go back to the RV.

To her surprise, he relents. “Twenty minutes.”

Ryuji scoffs. “We’ll see about that. You suck at waking up.”

“Shut up.” And then, quieter, “Thank you.”

“You know I got your back.”

He yawns once more, slowly walking back to their car. “Sophia, please make sure that when he gets the Pocky to get the strawberry one. Futaba won’t eat anything else. And also that Haru wanted doilies to make the place look nicer. White, if you can find them.”

“Roger that,” she replies, distracted. How is she wrong again? This is troubling.

“My hoodie’s in my bag if you get cold!” Ryuji calls out. Akira throws him a thumbs up without looking back. “Jeez, that guy. He’s gonna run himself to the ground before he’s thirty, I swear. Like some geezer with a bad back but with really good hairline or something.”

An old man with a thick head of hair shoots him a glare as he passes by them. Ryuji laughs, high-pitched. “Yikes, that was awkward. Let’s get out of here, we need to hit up the grocery store before they run out of carrots.”

Sophia doesn’t answer, too deep in her thoughts and running endless calculations.

—

It’s impossible for her to get a headache, but her code is trying its best to give her one.

Two mistakes now. That isn’t allowed to happen. She’s lucky that they were both relatively small errors, but it can easily become a bigger problem. What can she do?

Luckily, that had a very simple answer.

“Ryuji?”

“Hmm?” He peels his eyes away from scrutinizing the oranges in his hands, the wires from his earphones swaying when he does. After one too many strange looks when he talks to nothing, it was just better to act like he was on a phone call. “Yeah?”

“I have a question.”

“What am I, a teacher?” he snorts. “If you got a question, go ahead. Friends can do that.”

That’s right. They’re friends, and friends have trust in one another. Sophia jotted that down as lesson number forty-eight, thirteen days ago.

“Okay,” she says. Questions float around her, and she picks the one that’s giving her the most stress. “If I was not as useful as you think I am, would we still remain friends?”

The orange tumbles out of his grip, and he rushes to catch it before it hits the ground. “Wha—!” he stutters out. “Duh! Obviously! What the—where the hell did that come from? Did we do something to think that we’d just ditch you like that?” he lifts the phone so that she was eye-level with him. “Be honest,” he says seriously, quickly. “Did I say something to hurt your feelings? I do that sometimes, and I’m working on it, and I know that’s no excuse—”

“You did not say anything to hurt my feelings,” she says before he spirals even further. “In fact, I do not have feelings for you to hurt.”

Relief blooms on his expression, and he sags his body against the fruit display. “Okay, good. Good. Thought I was gonna get a heart attack. I’d be pissed at myself if I did, and I just know Akira would give me so much shit.” He sighs, ridding himself of panic before giving him her full attention. “So what’s up?

“Sir…” an employee shuffles towards them, hands shaking knees knocking against each other. He is afraid, she notes, but of what? “I’m sorry, but it’s against store policy to lean on the product. Please try to understand.”

“Oh, shoot!” Ryuji exclaims, straightening up. “Sorry, man. I didn’t even realize. I think I squished an orange, but I’ll buy it so your boss doesn’t give you hell for that one.”

The employee blinks. “You would?” he says, shocked. “That would be great, actually. Thank you so much!”

“Don’t sweat it,” he waves it off. Tugging the shopping cart, he places Sophia where they’d normally put babies. “Hope he doesn’t get in trouble. I feel kinda bad.”

She thinks for a moment. “Ryuji, why was that man afraid?”

Swiftly, red rushes to his cheeks. “That obvious? Aw, man.”

“I don’t know if it was obvious, but all the signs were there,” she says, watching as he ducks his head, embarrassed. “What is happening? I do not understand.”

“It’s just—” his eyes shift sideways, meeting the eye of a young girl. Immediately, she directs her gaze downwards. “I look really scary to people.”

“You do?” It isn’t in her program to doubt, but she is rather skeptical. During the entire trip, he has been nothing but kind to her. Yes, there are times when he has arguments with others in the group, but more often than not it’s him that’s being teased rather than the other way around. “Why? You aren’t even that tall.”

“Ouch?”

“I’m just saying that you are not scary to me, so I don’t really understand why other people would be.”

He sighs, picking up a box of miso unseeingly. “It’s a combination of a lot of things. My hair’s bleached, and people usually see that as like, punk or whatever. My posture sucks and my voice is loud.” Shrugging, he throws it in the cart. “It doesn’t really bug me though. At least that means strangers usually don’t bother the group, cause they think I’ll kick their ass.”

“And would you?” Sophia crosses off miso. Only bandages are left on the list, but the cart is filled with snacks, sodas, and a small cactus. “‘Kick their ass?’”

“No way. If I did, my mom would kick my ass, and I can’t pull that shit twice in a lifetime.” Pushing the cart, they slowly meander through the aisles, occasionally looking at what’s on sale. Ryuji tosses in rainbow marshmallows, and after a moment, reluctantly puts it back.

“But you know,” he says eventually. “If someone was bothering the group, it’s not as if I’d just let it happen.”

She considers his answer. “You are tough,” she concludes. “But not scary.”

“Uh, yes,” he says, unsure. And then, with more conviction, “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

“Got it. ‘Ryuji is tough, but other people are terrified of him.’ I will make a note of that.” He looks like he wants to say something, but she keeps going. “Synonyms for ‘tough’: robust, stalwart, and strong. Would you say that’s accurate?”

He laughs, disbelieving. “No idea what the first two meant, but the third one isn’t right.”

“Why not? You can fight Shadows. Your muscle ratio is high. One time, when Futaba couldn’t unscrew her water bottle, you did it with no problem.”

“Because, Sophia,” Ryuji picks up gummy worms, and turns to her with pleading eyes. When she shakes her head, he puts it back on the shelf with a grimace. “Strength isn’t always about muscles and who can kill what. It’s more than that.”

It seems as though he doesn’t want to speak about this anymore, but the topic is too interesting to stop here. “Explain, please.”

“It’s...it’s like mental strength,” he says begrudgingly. “Like if someone failed an exam they studied real hard for, mental strength would help them get through a tough situation like that. Like Akira.”

“Akira has high mental strength?”

“Oh, the highest out of all of us without a doubt. The world could explode and he’d be all—” Ryuji lowers his voice by an octave. “‘Here’s what we can do,’ and then fix it somehow. That’s just the kind of guy he is. All plans and no fear.”

All plans and no fear is a good way of describing Joker. “And you aren’t like that?”

“No way. Have you ever seen me have a plan in my life? I’m more of an ‘act before I can talk myself out of it’ person. Usually works out fine in the end. Besides, he does it enough for the both of us.” His eyes light up. “Do you think if I get the panda bandages, it would work better in the Metaverse? Cause of the brain stuff?”

“I think so, as long as it makes people think it works better.”

“Great.” Ryuji tosses it in with the rest. “And I think we got everything! Let’s head out. If we’re lucky, we can grab some ice cream before we meet up with the rest of them.”

“Good job! But you may want to consider removing the orange soda. Makoto is already unhappy with how much junk food you are always eating.”

“Fine. I’m keeping the cactus though.”

It was only when they’re all sleeping back in the RV when she realizes that she never got to ask him her actual question. Actually, she ended up with even more questions than when she began.

Maybe she’ll have better luck asking Akira instead.

—

They, or rather Akira, have their knees buried in a patch of grass in the middle of Sapporo with a small pile of four-leaf clovers by his ankles when she decides it would be appropriate to ask him.

“Akira, can I ask—” she pauses, and tries again. “I have a question.”

His face is so close to the ground that even the dirt would realize that his glasses don’t have prescription, and people are shooting him worried looks that he completely ignores. “Shoot.”

“Actually, I have many questions, and I’m hoping you’ll answer all of them as honestly as you can in order to have the most accurate data possible.”

“Research?”

More often than not, Akira has been giving her information about the world that she does not have access to. Slang terms that Futaba yells out in frustration, Ann’s tendency to jump from one topic to the next with little regard to who she’s talking to. It’s all confusing to Sophia, so she makes sure to memorize all of these instances and bring it to him for clarification.

“Sort of,” she says. “Some of my predictions have been off lately, and I am trying to figure out why.”

“Sure. Oh, another one.” Gently, he plucks it from the soil and gently places it with the others. “For Haru. Apparently, she’s really struggling with economics, so hopefully this helps her out next semester.”

“How many more?”

“Four,” he replies. “Yusuke, Sojiro, Akane, and Ryuji.”

She frowns. “Ryuji already has one.”

“He’s going to need more than one.” Akira turns to her, distressed. “Entrance exams are coming up.”

“Oh.”

“Yup,” he turns back to his task. “Anyway, you had a question?”

“Right,” she says, clearing her throat: a sign of taking a more serious tone. “Why are you scared of Ryuji?”

Akira freezes. Sophia waits patiently. But after a moment, then two, then five, there is still no reaction from him. And then slowly, he faces her with a blank expression.

She has not known Kurusu Akira for very long—only a few weeks in fact. But in that time, she feels that she has come to learn a lot about him. For instance, he does not like pears. He also finds grocery shopping relaxing, and he would die for his friends. Another thing she has learned from him is that he is very quiet; even in the Metaverse, amidst the explosions and gunshots, he does not yell. It is not as if he has nothing to say, but rather he would rather express himself through gestures and the odd comment here and there. He is much happier to let the people around him carry the conversation for him.

Shock racks through her as he bursts out laughing. His shoulders move up and down as laughs pour out of him uncontrollably. “What—?” he tries, pushing his glasses atop his head. It’s almost hidden amongst his thick, black locks. “Did you seriously ask if I was afraid of Ryuji? Sakamoto Ryuji? Blond guy, helps out in the Metaverse? My best friend?”

“Um.” This was not what she was expecting, despite having no expectations to begin with. “Yes.”

He sighs, content. “I really have to thank you, Sophia.” Akira brings his glasses back to his nose, the corners of his mouth quirked up. “That was really good. Haven’t laughed that hard since Yusuke thought Italy was near Mexico.”

She tilts her head sideways. “I was not joking.”

“Yeah, I figured.” He sits up, crossing his legs over each other, giving her his full attention. “Tell me why you thought I was scared of him.” Even as he’s sobered up, he can’t quite finish the sentence without smiling.

“My predictions have been off lately,” she says, a wrinkle between her brows. “This is normal—predictions by their nature cannot always be right. However, I’ve noticed that they’re incorrect more often lately. I ran the data, and these errors are related to two things:” Sophia brings her hand to the screen so that he can see properly. “You and him, as a unit. Individually, there doesn’t seem to be any errors. It is specifically when you are being measured together that creates mistakes. My prognosis on everyone else in the group creates more stable and accurate results.”

Sophia twists her hair in her hands. “The only reason it would be wrong is because of a confounding variable. Maybe there’s something between the two of you that others do not have. So I thought that answer—”

“Was fear,” he finishes. There’s an odd tone in his voice that she doesn’t comprehend. His gray eyes, sharp but never unkind. “I see where you’re coming from. But, and I can swear on this fact—it isn’t fear. I am not, nor will I ever be, afraid of him.”

She deflates. Wrong again. “And he’s not afraid of you?” she asks, out of desperation than anything.

Akira thinks for a moment. “Do you remember when I was cooking, and Ryuji went in to smell the broth, and knocked the whole thing over and onto my suitcase?” She nods. She had taken many pictures of that moment. “He felt really guilty, but he wasn’t scared of my reaction. He was more scared that he had ruined my stuff. You know what I mean?”

“I think I do.”

He bops the top of his phone a few times, an odd resemblance of patting her head. “Cool.”

Sophia stares at the road past their garden of clovers. Cars speed forward, too quick for her to focus on what the driver looks like. It’s hot today, but she doesn’t feel it. She runs her data one more time. “Akira, do you love Ryuji?”

His hands do not pause. “I love all my friends,” he answers simply.

—

At the end of the day, it does not matter if her attempts at predicting the future are fruitless. If she is in fact humanity’s companion, her code makes sure of one thing above all else: to help humanity with any of their endeavors.

That’s a tall order, especially when there are 7,874,965,825 humans within that humanity at this moment. Sophia is only one being, and realism is etched into her. To make things simple, she gave herself a domain of discourse. A sample size. Narrowing what she can do, and who she can help. The entirety of humanity then, at least in Sophia’s mind, falls under the Phantom Thieves of Hearts.

Sapporo is freezing. Frosty. Crisp. Chilly.

“Fucking cold!” Ryuji shivers, jogging around them in an effort to get warm. “I hate this, I hate this, I hate this.”

“Even with the space heaters on, it seems that the winter isn’t interested in going anywhere,” Makoto says. She’s standing uncomfortably close to Ann, trying to leech off of her inherent heat. Actually, she wasn’t the only one—Haru is also inching her way to her. “It should probably get better once we start moving. Good thing we won’t be here long.”

Yusuke nods, unperturbed. “Yes, this should be a quick run. We’re just here to collect a desire gone astray, yes?” It seems that the ice does little to bother him. “Oracle, can you find its location?” No response. “Oracle?”

He glances to the ground, sighing when he finds her on the ground, eyes closed and breathing deeply. “Wake up,” he says, nudging her with his boot. When she doesn’t move, Yusuke throws an exasperated look at Akira.

Reluctantly, he nods. “Yeah, yeah, I got her,” he says, summoning Queen Mab. Instantly, the temperature seems to rise, just a little bit. Scooping her up, Akira shakes her roughly like a particularly malicious sack of flour. “Wake up, your space heater’s here.”

“This may be a quick run,” Haru says. “But it doesn’t mean we should take this any less seriously. Someone’s desire got lost on its way back, didn’t it?”

“Yeah, that sounds—Mona, get off my leg—about right.” Ann squints her eyes along the horizon. “It’s far, right? If we start moving now, we can probably work off the frost on our skin.”

“Yeah, it’s about…” Futaba yawns as Akira sets her on her feet. “Twenty-minute walk? Ten-minute run, but unless you want me slipping and turning the ice red, we’re gonna want to slow down.”

Akira touches his mask. “Agi.” A wave of heat rushes over them, and she sighs, grateful for the respite. “Hopefully that helped a little. But it won’t last long, and we shouldn’t waste energy warming up. Quick recap—someone lost their desire, we’re here to make sure it gets back. Our top priority is getting that desire back as quick as possible. Questions?”

Sophia raises her hand.

“Yup?”

“Did you say top priority?”

“Yes, I did say top priority.”

“Understood!” she chirps, making a note in her head. It was hard to concentrate when she felt like her insides were freezing up.

Another hand shoots up.

“Noir?”

“I don’t have a question. I just think you’re doing a wonderful job.”

“Thank you, Noir. Always a pleasure.” He looks around, nodding. “Alright. If that’s it, then let’s do this thing.”

They all move ahead, wary of their footing. Sophia frowns as she scuttles forward, scared of being left behind. There is no room for error here. If she feels that she is not useful in the real world, then she can at least utilize her talents here. And the first step to doing that is to make sure she is doing two things:

1) Not slow

2) Won’t trip

After a while, she looks up and feels her eyes bulge. How did they get so far already? Sophia can hardly see them anymore, especially with the slight fog that’s beginning to emerge. She has to get there faster.

Failed step number one already. For once, she’s glad she wasn’t hardcoded with emotions, or else humiliation would be overwhelming. Quickening her pace, she’s determined to do this correctly. One foot, then the next. One foot, then the next. Left. Right. Left. Right. Left—

She slips.

With a gasp, she moves to twist her body so that it wasn’t her head that would take the impact, and closes her eyes shut.

Just before she slams into the ice, arms grab her torso, swinging her forward. “Whoa there, shorty!”

Ryuji uses the momentum to swing her onto his back, and she latches around her neck, bewildered. “You okay? Almost got knocked out before any Shadow got to us.”

“Yes,” she replies, breathless. “Thank you for saving me. That would have been bad.”

“No prob!” he marches onward as if he wasn’t carrying an entire human being on his back while treading through sleet.

“...You can settle me down if you’d like.”

“I would not like.” He grins, boots finding matte ice with ease. “I kinda love carrying you like this. Not like I can do this in the real world, can I? ‘Sides, Futaba would chew my head off if I tried it with her.”

“Have you?”

“Maybe.”

She laughs as they finally reconvene with the rest of them. When Akira turns to them, his expression softens with relief. “All good?”

“All good,” Ryuji says. “Nothing Sophie and I can’t handle.” He raises his fist at her, and she bumps it enthusiastically. Lesson twenty-three: never refuse a fist-bump. It’s one of her favorites.

“Stop, stop, stop, stop!” Futaba calls out from beside Ann, arms were linked as if they were strolling through a park, and not a Shadow-infested land. “I said stop!”

“We heard you the first time!” Morgana yowls. “Are we here?”

“We’re close. Kinda weird though.” She smacks the side of her goggles a few times impatiently. “Nothing’s showing up.”

“Lucky!” Ann whoops. “Let’s get this over with and get some gelato!”

Rounding the corner of an empty street, Yusuke points forward to a glowing heart, beating in time to its pulsing light. “That’s it, I take it?”

“I can get it.” Sophia pats Ryuji’s shoulder, and he lets her down. “That way, we can finish this as soon as possible.”

She runs forward, eager.

“Wait—!” Futaba cries out from behind her. “We’re getting ambushed!”

As she says it, footsteps surround them, the clanging of weapons and the grunts of Shadows appearing out of nowhere. She starts to run faster, terrified of slipping but pushes on anyway. She can do this.

“Shit,” Akira hisses. “Sophie, come back here!”

Sophia ignores him, the Desire almost in her reach when she feels it. A cold breeze, impossibly colder than the temperature before, almost seems to pierce through her skin. She did not need to turn around to know what it was—every cell in her body is screaming it for her.

A curse. A strong one that would have no problem wiping her out like fly on the RV’s windshield wiper.

Would she at least be able to save the Desire? Even if she ceases to exist? Would it be worth it then? It should be, since this is what she was made for.

Something solid shoves her from behind, and she gives out a yell before hitting the ground, hard.

“What…?” she mutters, disoriented. Somehow, she isn’t dead, or even near death. Shaking her head, she grasps for the Desire in front of her before turning around.

Instantly, her heart stops. The Desire in her hand continues to pulse steadily as she stares down at Ryuji, collapsed on the ground.

“Skull?” she whispers. Leaning down, she can still hear his breathing, though it’s faint. Her hand reaches out, before she remembers. Top priority. The Desire needs to get to Joker first.

The ground begins to rumble, and Sophia looks up in time to see an arch of glowing white explode. Every Shadow is eviscerated, their ashes scattering violently at the aftershock of wind that follows from the impact. Concrete cracks, snow blows away. Without a doubt, it’s an attack from a Persona user, but she has no idea who it came from.

As the dust settles, stray bits of ice falling from the sky like hail, Akira shoots out from the fog. He’s moving faster than she’s ever seen him, and there’s a desperation to his movements that throws her off-guard. Maybe he didn’t see yet? Sophia steps forward.

“Joker!” she calls out when he gets closer, thrusting her hand forward. “I got the Desire!”

He rushes past her without a blink.

Akira skids to his knees. “Ryuji!” When there’s no answer, he pulls Ryuji to his knees, resting his head on his lap. Akira presses his fingers against the pulse on his neck, concentrating intensely. Then he grits his teeth. “I can work with this.”

More footsteps. Familiar ones. “Dammit, Joker!” Morgana says. “You can’t just throw around attacks like that, especially with such weak enemies. You know how draining that spell is.”

He ignores him. Akira removes Ryuji’s mask with great care, setting it aside, before touching his own. “Aid me, Sarasvati.”

“Joker?” she tries.

A floating woman donned in green with a delicate instrument in her long fingertips appeared from the fibers of his mask, her expression kind and tender.

“Joker.”

Healing power flows through his hands, so potent that it glows green. Sweat pours from his brow, and his wrist begins to tremble with effort.

“Joker!”

“What, Sophie?” he rounds on her, gray eyes intense.

“I got the Desire!” she announces triumphantly.

A beat passes. And then another. It was as if there was never even a deafening battle not one minute prior.

When Akira finally speaks, his voice is low. “Panther, take Sophie away please.”

Her breathing stops. She could not inhale the air even if it was demanded of her. Akira turns back to Ryuji, but Sophia’s eyes stuck to him—like she was hypnotized, cemented to the back of his head, unable to look away. Every inch of her body is numb, but none of it has anything to do with the cold.

Ann gently takes her hand, hot as iron against hers, and takes the Desire in the other. “Come on, Soph. Let’s go for a walk, huh?”

She lets herself be led away, blank and unseeing, a part of her staying wishing to stay behind to...what? She didn’t know. There’s so much she doesn’t know.

They keep walking, rounding street corners, quietly passing underneath frozen lamp posts. Sophia wasn’t sure where they were going, but she didn’t bother to ask. Eventually, they duck underneath a railing, Ann covering her head to make sure she doesn’t accidentally bang her skull against the metal. When they straight up, she blinks.

“A heater?”

“Yeah,” Ann sighs, flopping down on a toppled column as if it were a sofa. “I figured if we were going to talk, you might as well stop shivering during that time.” At her words, Sophia realizes how hard she was shaking. Ann pats the spot beside her. “Sit. Nothing a little girl talk can’t fix.” She does.

At her silence, Ann hums. “Cold, isn’t it? You guys haven’t stopped complaining since we got here. I’m super lucky that Carmen’s here to help me. Warms me up even better than this heater, if you can imagine that. Completely different from the real world, where we feel like we’re going to burst into flames any second.” She yawns. “But god, there’s no one in all of Japan that can run his mouth about the weather like Ryuji.” Sophia clenches her fist, but she keeps going, speaking almost wistfully. “I mean, he’s just so loud, you know? Like, how many times have we driven by cows on this trip, and he’d literally wake us all up just to show us? Not to mention, he eats up all the food and snores like crazy. God, one time I invited everyone over at my place, and he just slept in my bed when he got tired! Who does that?”

Ann sighs. “But man, I’ve never met someone more devoted to his friends than him. Sometimes, he’d even give ‘Kira a run for his money, the way he’d just drop everything and run to where trouble is. Day or night, that idiot would show up on your doorstep the minute you shoot him a text, wearing the most ridiculous pajamas you’ve ever seen,” she scoffs. “He started the Thieves with Akira, you know? All gung ho about justice and stuff, you should’ve seen it. And he had the spine to back it up, too.” She smiles, just a little. “Don’t tell him, but I think he’s really, really cool.”

A drop of water hits Sophia’s wrist. And another. And another, until her vision blurs and her chest is heaving. “I just—” she sobs without restraint. “I was just trying to help. I just want to be useful and do what I was made to do, and Akira said from before that this—this was the top priority, and I even made sure, so I asked, but when I finally got the Desire and I was so sure that I’d finally done something right...” the image of Akira’s cold gaze makes her flinch, hard. “He’s just so mad at me, Ann. And Ryuji—” she chokes on his name like a curse, her tongue tumbling over it as if it were getting caught in a lie. “He protected me from before, but he said he was tough, so I thought it was okay since the Desire was the top priority but he got hurt because of me.”

“I don’t even know what I’m feeling, or why I’m crying, or why you’re being so nice to me even though I know I did something bad! I just—” Sophia buries her face in her hands, muffling her scream. “I just don’t understand anything!”

Warm hands rub her back. “I know,” Ann says quietly. “You’re trying your best. We all get that, and we all think you’re doing an A-plus job.” She pauses. “Sophia, Ryuji didn’t take the hit for you because he was thinking about the Desire. He did it because he didn’t want to see you hurt.”

That makes Sophia peek up. “But that was the top priority, wasn’t it?”

“Uh-huh, but that wasn’t his heart’s top priority.” Ann pokes her temple. “That whole logic and calculation thing you have going on is good and stuff, but the thing about the human heart is that you can’t always choose why you do things, or how you react in certain situations. I bet you anything that he totally forgot that we were even looking for this thing when he pushed you,” she waves the beating heart in her hand, still glowing. “And that’s also why Akira got a little mad at you from before.”

She deflates. “He hates me,” she mumbles, feeling her insides churn uncomfortably.

“That boy doesn’t have the time in his schedule to hate anyone,” Ann reassures her. “He’s just...really, really terrified.”

“But why?” Sophia’s starting to despise that word. “He already knew that he was okay. Why would he still be worried?”

Ann looks up, thinking. “You really love and care about Ryuji, right?”

Love was still a foreign concept to her, but for once the answer came forth with ease. “Yes.”

“Take that feeling, that dense, little ball of love and adoration in your tiny body, and multiply that by about eighteen million. That’s probably about the range of what Akira feels about him.”

She quickly runs the numbers. “Whoa.”

“Yeah. Kinda scary, huh?”

It is scary. With numbers this high, she can only begin to imagine what it felt like for Akira to think that he might be seriously hurt, or even worse, dead. All because of Sophia.

“Hey now, I know that look!” Ann flicks her forehead. “I don’t want you to get all mopey about this. You said it yourself—he’s a tough guy. The toughest there is, but don’t tell him that. It’ll go straight to his empty head.”

She stands with exuberance, stretching. “Alright, I think we’re about done here. How we feeling? You ready to go back?”

No. Her heart speeds up at the thought of going back, her shoulders tensing in on itself, but somehow it would be worse to stay here. “I’m ready.”

“That’s what we like to hear!” Ann cheers. “No chickening out now, okay? You can do this.”

“I can do this.” Sophia repeats, and then, louder: “I can do this!

“Yay! And Sophie?” she looks up in time to see Ann giving her a warm look. “Just because you don’t understand something, doesn’t mean we love you any less. You are allowed to be confused and make mistakes. Do you understand that?”

Sophia smiles wide. “I understand.”

—

They were a block away from the rest of the group when Akira emerged from the fog. With his black attire and dark hair, he could have looked like a picturesque horror movie figure, but somehow his expression ruined that facade the moment she saw it.

“I’m going on ahead,” Ann says when Sophia stops in front of him. “Someone has to make sure Futaba doesn’t sleep on us again.”

“Thanks,” he answers. Then, to Sophia, “Hi.”

“Hi, Joker.” She’s been practicing her speech the entire way back, her points all lined up in her mind, all leading up to the big apology. “I—”

“Pause,” he cuts in, and she shrinks. Is he still mad? She can’t read his expression. He kneels in front of her, squinting, and it suddenly shifts to horror. “Did...did you cry? Did I make you cry?”

“No,” she says quickly, but he doesn’t believe her for even a minute. “Yes. Sorry.”

“Oh god, no, please don’t apologize. Shit,” he rubs the back of his neck, sighing. It’s guilt, she realizes with a shock. “I’m such an asshole. I can’t believe I let myself lash out like that. A thousand apologies won’t even be enough. I was scared out of my mind, but that doesn’t mean I can just treat you like that. I even sent you away, like you’re some sort of kid,” he winces. “I’m really sorry. Can you forgive me?”

She stares at him. “I was supposed to say that stuff.”

He looks taken aback by her words. “No? How could you have known that we would have been ambushed? Ugh, I’m so dumb. I shouldn’t have reacted like that.” Akira sends her a pointed look. “Though, you really shouldn’t split off from the group next time. Top priority means important, but above all else is your safety. Put that in your code.”

“I will,” she promises.

“Good. And the second priority is—” he reaches forward and engulfs her in a tight hug. “Is that you won’t ever, ever think that I’d hate you.”

She frowns. “How did you know?”

“A hunch.” Beat. “Also, Ann gave me a look.” He pulls back. “Are we still friends?”

Relief washes into her, crashing like a wave. “Of course,” she says, before hesitating. “Is…?”

“Yeah, he is.” Akira rolls his eyes, but there is no hiding the grin that takes over him. “A little too good, actually. He hasn’t stopped running around since I poured some energy back into him. I kind of think I overdid it, actually. Oh, and he’s excited to see you again.”

“He is?” she asks, hopeful.

“Absolutely. Asked about you the minute he came to.” Akira gets to his feet. “Shall we say hi?”

“Please.”

As they walk back, an epiphany takes over her. “Oh!” she exclaims, making Akira jump. “I get it now.”

“What’s up?”

“You love Ryuji.”

“That’s right,” he raises a brow.

She shakes her head. “You love Ryuji,” she insists. Even accounting for a margin of error, there’s simply no mistaking her results.

Akira stares at her for a long moment, before huffing out a laugh.

“Yeah, that’s right,” he says softly.

The moment Ryuji sees her, she sprints, throwing caution to the wind as she leaps into his arms. He catches her without hesitation. “Glad to see you’re safe, shorty.”

Sophia knows a lot of things, but there’s also a lot she doesn’t understand. But that’s fine. She’ll get there, and her friends will be waiting for her when she does.

#p5 #fic tag #margin of error #mine #ryuji sakamoto #sophia #no p5s spoilers sans the locations #kiss ryuji day #just a quick thing yeah sure 7k is quick #my moon and stars #the leader and his right hand man #big shoutout to pear for holding my hand while i had a breakdown in life and decided to write this #akira kurusu

[fyeah-bangtan7]

A Deep Conversation with BTS' RM on His Group's Early Years, Drake, Whether BTS Is K-Pop, and More

"I had a sense of urgency and desperation about going after my dreams," says BTS' leader

I was someone who wanted to go to a top college, an Ivy League school by American standards,” says RM, BTS’ leader. “I was a typical student who was trying hard to achieve. And then I trusted [HYBE founder] Mr. Bang, and I started to walk down a different path. And I had a sense of urgency and desperation about going after my dreams.” RM’s gifts as a rapper, songwriter, and producer have been essential to BTS’s development, as have his wide-ranging intellectual interests. In an interview from his label’s headquarters, the artist formerly known as Rap Monster discussed whether BTS should be considered K-pop, the uniqueness of South Korean hip-hop, the highlights of the Most Beautiful Moment in Life era, and more.

You quoted the great abstract artist Kim Whan-ki recently: “I’m Korean, and I can’t do anything not Korean. I can’t do anything apart from this, because I am an outsider.” You said that was a key thing you’ve been thinking about lately. How does that idea apply to your work? So much of the pop and hip-hop I listened to came from America. But for me, as a Korean, I think we have our own characteristics and some kind of localized identity. I can’t really explain it very well, but there are some characteristics that we Koreans have, or maybe Eastern people. So we try to kind of combine those two things into one, and I feel that we created a new genre. Some may call it K-pop; some may call it BTS, or some Eastern-Western combined music, but I think that’s what we’re doing. If you think about the Silk Road in the past, there’s this idea of Eastern people and Western people meeting on some kind of, like, big road and maybe doing selling and buying of stuff. I think this story repeats itself, and some kind of new, interesting phenomenon is happening. We feel very honored to be existing in the very eye of this big hurricane.

There’s so much great Korean hip-hop, including your early heroes Epik High, who are still active. What did you hear in it early on, and what do you hear in it now? There’s always a process of when something new comes into another culture, where the identity gets transformed and it changes and adapts to this new place. Obviously, there are differences between Korea and the United States that affect the music. For example, Korea is not a multiethnic country like the United States. So there are different sensitivities that are underlying the music. Korean rappers of course have their own unique and different lyricism, their own situations and hardships that they fit into the process. As a Korean, obviously, these are the things that resonate with me.Obviously, there’s a saying there’s nothing new under the sun. So especially for people like us, in the margins of the world, so to speak, we think about how can we transform this and how can we make this our own. So these are the things that I think about when I try to balance the inspiration of Korean and American rappers. And, I think, now though, there’s a convergence of all genres of music. 

When BTS first started, there was this conflict in some people’s minds and in your own between the idea of being a rapper or being an idol, which we’d call a pop star. This is obviously something you’ve addressed in song. Maybe you can explain a little about that conflict and why it seemed so important at the time? When I was young, I wanted to be a writer of prose and poetry, and then I found rap. And a lot of what I wanted to do went into the music. And, yes, there was this idea of being a pure artist or a pure rapper. So in the beginning, it is true that when we were debuting as a pop act, there were times when I had to sort of reorganize my identity and then reflect on what my identity is. And at the beginning we didn’t see positive results. We didn’t have a lot of fans. We didn’t have great results. There were some times when we were mocked.

So it is true that it took some time for that identity to develop and settle itself. But, you know, whether it’s rap or pop music, or whatever it is, it is another method for me to show my mind and express my voice, and having that resonate with people. So a lot of that conflict resolved itself. And I think things today are very different from what they were like in 2013, because even though there’s still a lot of discussion about what is pure, what is authentic, what is sincere, what’s an artist, what’s a pop musician, those boundaries have become less and less meaningful. As long as I can show what I’ve written, it’s valid as the continuation of my dream and what I always wanted to do.

It feels like BTS really found itself around the time of Most Beautiful Moment of Life. That’s where everything came together. How do you look back on that time? Despite the name, Most Beautiful Moment in Life, that was actually a very tumultuous period for me and for us. There was the tough image we had in 2 Cool 4 Skool, in those early stages, a sort of exaggerated expression of toughness and that angst. And then we sort of slowed down a little bit and tried to express the emotions of young people who have really nothing more than dreams. It was a more honest sort of expression, and we witnessed how it was resonating with a lot of people.There was some confusion because this was something new, and we were showing ourselves to be more vulnerable, more delicate, which was very different. But we realized that it was meaningful, and as we went forward to the Love Yourself series, we started to discover that more and more as we continued.

I know that many fans don’t see BTS as part of K-pop. And you, yourselves, have said that “BTS is the genre.” How do you see it? That’s a very important debate. Because what they call K-pop, that genre is expanding very fast. For example, some so-called K-pop groups have only foreigners, from Europe, India, China, like, everywhere. There are no Korean members, but they do the K-pop thing, they’re switching the parts, and so on. BTS is expanding very fast as well. And K-pop is now so wide. Somebody could say that K-pop is for Koreans who sing a Korean song. That could be K-pop. But what about “Dynamite”? We sing the song in English. But we’re all Koreans, so somebody may say it’s a K-pop song. Or they may say it’s just a pop song, because it’s in English. But we don’t actually really care about whether people see us as inside or outside K-pop. The important fact is that we’re all Koreans, and we’re singing a pop song. So that’s the reason why we said that our genre is just BTS. That debate is very important for the music industry, but it doesn’t mean very much for us members.

What music really changed your idea of what’s artistically possible? I started with Nas, Eminem, the golden age of hip-hop. And the turning point was Drake, in 2009, when he released Thank You Later. That album was kind of shocking for me because it was kind of a freaky thing that a rapper actually sang. So after that a lot of rappers began to sing, deciding to put the melodies into their songs across the genres, between raps and melody. So, yeah, that was the moment.

When you rapped that your “shadow … is called hesitation,” what did you mean by that? It can be called hesitation or cautiousness, but, I think, there is a form of hesitation that prevents you from taking risks and prevents you from challenging yourself.

I know you motivated the members by saying that your grandkids might watch your Grammys performance someday. Is that something you think about often? It gives me a lot of goosebumps sometimes that our every moment leaves traces online where everyone can see them. So, yeah, I think that helps us keep motivated.

Some film actors have a saying, “Pain is temporary. Film is forever.” [Nods.] Life is short. Art is forever.

© source

#bangtan #rm #m:rolling stone #o:interview #210518

[tlbodine]

The Great Content Warning Debate

Horror Twitter has been aflame for a few days now with heated discourse about trigger/content warnings, and I keep seeing the same arguments and questions and points come up repeatedly so I wanted to collect all of it into one place because I feel like discourse can only get so far if people keep reinventing the wheel -- so perhaps having the full discussion laid out in one place could be helpful.

Of course, the folks arguing probably won’t see this post, but perhaps there can be some benefit from talking about it anyway. This is intended to be more of an overview of arguments and counter-arguments, collected and displayed as impartially as possible, but of course my own opinions are going to leak in and color some of this. 

NOTE: This is written specifically from the perspective of the horror book community, a genre that traditionally is associated with troubling, transgressive, risk-taking and shocking works. There are discussions to be had for content labels on other types of fiction, but as I’m unfamiliar with the norms and expectations of, say, romance, I’m not going to wade too deeply into that here. 

So without further ado, the arguments and counter-arguments and discussion points that I keep seeing hashed and rehashed and circled around when the issue of trigger warnings comes up! 

If you’re sensitive, you shouldn’t be reading horror 

“Horror is supposed to be horrifying! It’s not fluffy bunnies and kittens! You’re supposed to be made uncomfortable!” 

There are a few problems with this: 

“Uncomfortable” is not the same as “Sent into a panic attack/flashback/relapse” (ie, triggered) 

People with PTSD and other issues can and do engage with horror all the time and often love the genre for entertainment or therapeutic purposes

Many people are fine with some types of content but not others; blood and guts won’t affect them the same as rape, or they’re fine with adults dying but can’t handle child death, and so on and so forth 

Knowing what you’re getting into can help you prepare/brace yourself so you’re not taken unaware; people with the right warnings can mentally prepare themselves and enjoy a book that they would not have been able to read if they were confronted with it unexpectedly

Trigger warnings are censorship 

Some folks have an implicit/kneejerk reaction that “trigger = bad thing” and respond to the request to put warnings on a book as a moral value judgment on the book’s contents. I can see why they might fear that, especially because at a glance it’s easy to conflate the groups asking for warnings with the groups who say things like “if your characters have underage sex then you the writer are literally a pedophile.” But by and large the folks asking for warnings do not seem to be asking for folks to stop writing certain difficult themes, only to provide a heads up for readers about the type of experience those readers can expect from the book. 

There is an argument to be made that warnings could affect the sales of a book, in much the same way that an NC-17 film doesn’t get the same distribution opportunities as an R-rated or PG-13 film, and that authors/publishers will make marketing decisions to include or exclude certain types of content in order to avoid this. 

Trigger warnings will spoil the book 

While some readers will benefit from content warnings, others might have their reading experience ruined by knowing about major twists. This seems especially relevant with a warning like “child death.” It’s very important that people who have, for example, recently lost a child not be unexpectedly re-traumatized by reading about a child dying without warning. But it’s also important that people who want to enjoy the full, shocking impact of such a scene have the opportunity to do so without having it dulled by forewarning. 

Any kind of warning system needs to be opt-in for a reader. Some suggestions include: 

Placing warnings at the end of a book, where readers can flip to that page to look (not helpful if you’re ordering online) 

Placing warnings on the author’s website, where readers can search (not helpful if you’re buying in person)

Given the limitations, a combination of those strategies seems to make sense. It may also be unfortunately true that someone looking for one type of warning (ie, rape) will have their experience ruined if they spoiler themselves for another warning (child death). This may be unavoidable collateral damage. 

Authors/Publishers should be responsible for putting warnings in their books

There seems to be some debate over whether the onus of responsibility for providing warnings rests on the author or the publisher. It should be acknowledged that authors may not always have the power to make this choice -- and if the presence or absence of warnings becomes a factor for judging the quality/moral fiber of authors, those authors could be punished by the reader community for a choice that was largely out of their hands (although, there’s still nothing keeping the author from hosting those warnings externally - how successfully that is implemented is another matter). 

Additionally, the demand for warnings will be placed more consistently on small presses simply because those presses are more likely to heed the request. This could create a double standard where readers might be more forgiving of large pub works that forego warnings because there’s no expectation that they would have implemented them anyway. On the other hand, this could be a way for indie publishers to differentiate themselves on the market and appeal more to certain subsets of readers. 

External groups or communities should be responsible for warnings

There’s a line of reasoning that an author or publisher may not be sensitive to the potentially triggering/damaging things in their work, and some kind of external governing body should manage this work instead. This does sound a lot more like the censorship argument that people are worried about. 

Wiki-style sites and places where people can freely tag books (such as Storygraph) also fit this bill to an extent. They would presumably have less power over the market than a ratings board like the MPAA, but could still exert influence over how a book is received. 

Demanding warnings will negatively impact marginalized authors 

We’re already seeing some evidence that BIPOC and LGBTQ authors are affected more by user-generated trigger warnings on sites like Storygraph, and that these warnings can be weaponized against marginalized authors. Much like review-bombing a book before it comes out can affect its launch, labeling a book with inaccurate trigger warnings could damage its sales. 

Similarly, lists of “safe” and “unsafe” authors have already begun to circulate among some groups, and there seems to be a disproportionate number of marginalized creators on that “unsafe” list -- at least according to the anecdotal reports I’ve seen. 

Historically, it is true that any attempts at censorship or content moderation will be more harshly applied to marginalized groups (see: film ratings for gay sex vs straight sex). 

It’s impossible to warn for everything

One hesitancy that some authors have with tagging their work is they’re not sure what to tag for. Triggers are highly personal, and there’s no way you can possibly guess what might upset a reader. 

Here’s a list of commonly agreed-upon things that might make sense to tag for in a given work: 

Violence/gore 

Suicide/self-harm

Rape/sexual assault

Domestic violence

Child death/endangerment

Animal death/abuse

Drug use/substance abuse 

Racism/slurs 

That said, it’s still difficult to account for context. At what stage do you warn for something? If a character is drinking a beer, do you need to tag for that? Do you distinguish between the tone things are written in, such as being played for laughs vs seriously? If the rape scene is written artistically/metaphorically, does the same warning apply as if it were described act-by-act in a clinical sense? What if your blanket list of warnings gives readers a false sense of what the book will be like -- is it actually helpful at all, or is it just posturing/virtue signaling to include warnings that won’t actually be effective?  

Some would argue that this is dramatically overthinking it, but this does seem to cause a great deal of distress to authors who want to do the right thing but worry about getting it wrong. An argument could be made that trying and failing might be worse than doing nothing, especially if your attempts get you labeled as a “trustworthy” or “safe” author only for that trust to be “betrayed” by a warning you used incorrectly. 

On the other hand, many would argue that we all “pretty much know” what needs to be warned for, and that warnings are intuitive. These granular questions could be viewed as a distraction from more common sense issues. 

Readers are responsible for managing their own safety

Ultimately, because it’s impossible for every potential trigger to be identified and warned for, readers will need to remain vigilant. Of course, there are already ways to identify the content of a book without any kind of established warning system -- such as, for example, reading posted book reviews, asking a question on a book’s Goodreads page, reaching out to the author directly, asking about the book in a reading group online or having a friend/parent/spouse/trusted person read the book first and report back with their findings. 

This is the system we’ve pretty much used as readers for years, before “trigger warning” became part of the common vernacular, and it does have some distinct advantages just because you can get a lot more specific information this way. 

It is possible that if warnings become more commonplace for books that readers may become less vigilant about their own safety, which could paradoxically put them at greater risk of finding troubling content unexpectedly. 

There’s also the issue of “safe” and “unsafe” author lists. At the moment, while the discourse is hot, it’s perhaps more natural to pick sides and disregard some authors for reasons that may be unfair -- for example, marking an author as unsafe or boycotting her work because she doesn’t want to include warnings, but she wants to avoid warnings because she strongly believes they will be detrimental to a reader’s safety. A reader may or may not agree with that perspective, but it’s certainly not the same motive as an author who would do something actively malicious to a reader (like, idk, emailing a screamer to a reviewer or something. that’s a made up example.) 

In the end, trigger warnings are a good idea, but the issue is complex to implement and some people do still have reservations about their overall efficacy. 

We simply won’t know one way or another until we try to implement it. But in the meantime, I do think it’s valuable to continue talking about this, as long as everyone involved remains civil and engages in good faith. Once people’s perspectives start getting thrown out the window in the heat of the moment, or strawmen arguments are erected that don’t reflect what anyone involved actually believes, the discussion ceases to be helpful. 

#trigger warnings #discourse #twitter nonsense #authors behaving badly #writing advice #writeblr #writing #publishing