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aajjks · 8 months

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Destiny (m)

synopsis. You can’t say no to him, it’s his birthday after all.

warnings. söft yändērē, sïmp bëhävïöür, öbsëssîvë thoughts, öbsëssïön, hê ïs sö përsüäsïvë, ünhëälthy rëlätïönshïp, yändêrê jk 10x.

note. HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO THE MAN I LOVE. please send asks for my jk’s, what do you love the most about jk? I love him, I hope you guys will love this as well, so what’s your answer going to be?

He just loves you so much.

Jungkook knows it’s unhealthy but he doesn’t care. You are everything to him, you’re his reason for everything, you’re the centre of his universe.

He wants to be with you forever, you’re both perfect for each other, God made you for him, and him for you.

Jungkook is a firm believer in destiny and he believes that you’re his destiny.

So that’s why he’s going to make you his tonight, forever.

You are nervous,

When it comes to your boyfriend you’re always tense.

You want to be happy, excited for your date tonight with him but all you feel is nervous, maybe it’s because you’re not sure about how he’s going to react to what you’re about to tell him.

Jungkook was always unpredictable.

As you sit right across him, you feel his eyes on you, you can’t really look at him without looking away, or playing with your nails. Your anxiety is rising through the roof.

Maybe you shouldn’t today, it’s his birthday after all, but it’s really now or never. Your courage is barely enough today, you’ll chicken out the next day.

“Baby? You okay?”

The feeling of his right tattooed hand on yours and his voice pulls you out of your inner dilemma, you blink twice, he looks so happy and beautiful. His eyes are filled with love for you, he looks at you like you’re his whole world.

And that scares you a little.

You nod to jungkook and he squeezes your hand again. “Just thinking about you, kook.” You reply, the night is so calm, the atmosphere is so peaceful yet Jungkook’s eyes don’t let you calm down.

“The food was so delicious right YN???? Also I ordered their top desert too, I hope you’ll enjoy it! I know we have my birthday cake too but I thought you should taste their special too, it’s so tasty I love it.”

“I am so happy I am spending my birthday with you YN.” The man gushes like a teen boy, never leaving your hand, “you know I love you a lot, so much.” He sighs like this is a dream he never wants to wake up from.

“You love me too right?”

Your breath hitches in your throat, why does he always ask you this question? His need to be reassured drives you insane sometimes, he knows the answer yet why?

“Of course.”

A huge smiles breaks out from his lips, his eyes crinkle so sweetly, his cheeks are almost red, your boyfriend blushes softly and giggles.

“Then, you’re going to love my surprise YN.”

Your furrow your brows.

“Actually Jungkook I need to tell- no YN. Not now please.” You close your mouth, anxiety rushes through you as you watch him stand up from the table, what is he doing?

You don’t get it, it’s his birthday yet he’s giving you a surprise?

Your eyes follow his as you watch him walk closer to you and you are too focused on him to utter a word, he looks at you and halts his movement, looking at you with his deep brown orbs.

“B-Babe what are you doing??”

It’s all too quick, he’s on one knee, as he puts his hand into his pocket, and takes out a velvet black box. Your heartbeat is going crazy.

No no no!!!

“JUNGKOOK!- YN. Will you make me the luckiest man alive, will you marry me?”

You can’t breathe, it feels so suffocating suddenly, his words hit you like a brick, ringing repeatedly in your ears. You want to cry.

You didn’t want this, not right now.

You stare at him dumbfounded, your mouth feels too dry to say anything, Jungkook stares back at you with eagerness jumping in his eyes, they are sparkling so much.

You watch as he openes the box, the ring takes your attention away from him, it’s gorgeous, it’s too big.

It looks too expensive.

“YN do you see the ring? I had it custom made, do you see these stones? These are yours and mine birth stones, and the diamond is in the middle of them. Do you like it?”

You stand up, speechless, “J-Jungkook….” He doesn’t move from his position, “please say yes YN. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I love you so much, please fulfill my birthday wish and marry me.”

You feel so helpless right now, he’s making you feel so weak, the look in his eyes is too strong. He loves you so much.

“I’ll make you the happiest woman YN, I’ll always take care of you and love you unconditionally, please baby, marry me.”

Jungkook is quick to grab your hand. “Baby say something, you know you can’t say no, I won’t accept it, say yes, say yes to me.”

this is exactly why you don’t want to marry him.

“I…I…”

“Just one yes YN, I’ll do anything… please marry me.”

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storiesofsvu · 21 days

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Common Cold

Olivia Benson x reader warnings: minor language, that's about it. I did not read through this or edit it, so... not my fault if there's mistakes or its terrible LOL.

Olivia was pouring her coffee in the kitchen when she heard the small cough from around the corner of the hallway, glancing up in your direction as you rounded the bend.

“You coming down with something?”

“No.” You nearly shot her a glare, “my throat’s just drier than the desert.” You stepped up to the cupboard, pulling down a mug and shifted to the coffee machine only for Liv’s hand to wrap around your wrist, redirecting you to the fridge.

“You might want to hydrate first.”

“Fine.” You grumbled, pulling the Brita pitcher out of the fridge to fill the mug up, feeling Olivia’s eyes on you as you drained it in one go, filling it up again.

“I was gonna stop at the bodega for breakfast, unless you want something different?”

“I’m not really hungry.” You replied with a soft sigh and she raised a brow at you.

“What?” You asked.

“You didn’t eat much at dinner last night either, are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

“Yeah. Just a tickle in my throat.” You waved her off, slowly sipping your way through the second mug of water, “Carisi always has extra of that emergen-c stuff, I’m sure I can steal some, kick the ass of whatever this is before it has a chance to sneak in.”

“Alright.” Olivia surrendered, pulling you to her to press a kiss to your temple, “you let me know if you start feeling worse and need to come home early.”

“I’m fine.” You insisted, pulling down a travel mug from the cupboard to fill it with coffee, glancing up at your girlfriend for approval that she gave in the tiniest nod before you added sugar and cream and followed her out the apartment door.

By lunch time, vitamins weren’t the only thing you’d stolen from Carisi, his Fordham hoodie wrapped tightly around your frame as you shivered at your desk. Olivia was on the way back from the break room, glancing up across the bull pen to see you tugging the hood of the sweater over your head before returning your attention to your laptop. With a gentle sigh she wandered over to your desk, placing down half her sandwich.

“Have something to eat, you’ll feel better.”

“Still not hungry.” You replied with a yawn, running your hands over your face, rubbing at your eyes the best you could without ruining your make up.

“Sweetheart…” she perched on the side of your desk, “no offence but you look like hell.” Her hand snuck under the hood, smoothing back a few pieces of your hair. “Are you sure you don’t need to go home?”

“I just didn’t sleep well last night.” You yawned again, trying to keep this one contained.

“Yeah, cause you were up all night coughing.” Liv pointed out and you pouted, “and it’s nowhere near cold enough in here for that hoodie, it’s June…”

“Guess I’m just running cold today.”

“Let me take you home.” She rubbed at your shoulder, “get you some rest.”

“M’fine.” You protested, a small cough rumbling through your throat, “can’t have you taking off in the middle of the day.”

“Alright, meet me halfway then.” She slid off your desk, “I’ve got some Buckley’s in my desk, you take some of that, and go sleep it off in the crib. I’ll wake you up when it’s time to go.”

“Fine.” You whined, pushing back from your desk as you followed her into her office, surprised when she followed you to the bunk room. She’d grabbed a couple of comfier blankets from her office, tucking them around you as you curled up on one of the beds, her hand coming to rest on your forehead.

“You really are burning up. If this doesn’t help I’m taking you home, understood?”

“Yes Ma’am.” You half teased back, yawning again as you nuzzled into the pillow, pulling the blankets and Carisi’s hoodie tighter around you.

“Get some sleep sweet girl.” Liv murmured, leaning down to press a gentle kiss into your forehead before she moved from the room, flicking off the light to hopefully give you a restful nap.

You weren’t entirely sure how long you’d been out; you just felt the bed dip with Olivia’s weight, a cool hand resting on your forehead and stroking your cheek. You groaned, slowly rolling onto your back as you attempted to stretch out your aching body.

“How are you feeling?” Olivia asked softly and you coughed in return.

“Sweaty.” You grimaced, “thirsty…sore…”

“Ready to admit defeat and let me take you home and properly take care of you?” She asked with a soft grin on her cheeks and you looked up at her and nodded. “Alright, c’mon.”

The entire trip home was honestly a blur, you could barely keep your eyes open, your head resting against the cool glass of the car window. Your body was burning, but you were shivering at the same time, your head throbbing and your throat on fire. Olivia’s hand was resting on your thigh, squeezing softly in assurance that you were almost home.

Back in the apartment she helped you change into comfier clothes, chuckling at the way you pulled Carisi’s hoodie back on, claiming it was fuzzier than any of yours. She sat you down on the couch, taking a make up wipe from the packet and cleaning your face before she urged you to bundle up in as many blankets as you wanted.

Your eyes fluttered shut, listening to her pad around the apartment while she collected whatever she deemed necessary. A few minutes later and she was perching on the edge of the couch, her hand soothing up your side, “sit up for me, take these.”

Groaning as you did so, your eyes cracked open, taking the pills from her and swallowing them down with the help of the large glass of water she’d brought you. She left the bottle along with the Buckley’s on the end table, the water on the coffee table so it was more accessible.

“That should help break the fever, help with your head. Try to get some more sleep and I’m gonna make you some soup for dinner, you need to eat, alright?”

You nodded bleakly, dropping back down onto the couch and Liv leaned over you, squeezing you gently and kissing the top of your head. You shivered slightly when she moved away, her body heat vanishing and she tucked another blanket around you in hopes that it would help.

Being as quiet as she could, she looked into the fridge, pulling out what she’d need for some semi homemade chicken noodle soup and was forever thankful for the leftover rotisserie chicken from last night. Vegetables were chopped up and then placed in the pot to sauté along with some garlic and she preheated the oven for some Pilsbury flaky rolls to go along with it, popping the tray in once it was ready. Broth got added to the pot, seasoned appropriately and once it was boiling and the delicious smells were wafting through the apartment she added in the noodles. Glancing over her shoulder she found that you were still dead to the world, curled around yourself on the couch snoring softly and she couldn’t help but smile, knowing that you were at least on your way to feeling better.

While she was waiting for everything to fully cook she opened the tea cabinet, searching through the boxes until she found the one she thought you would like the best that had the best benefits to helping a cold. She flicked on the kettle and pulled down a mug for you before picking a wine for herself and poured out a glass, taking a sip of it as she waited for the timer to go off. The soup finished first and she pulled it off the burner, tossing in the chicken, knowing it would heat fine as everything kept cooking, placing the lid on the pot to keep it going. A couple of minutes later and the rolls were being pulled from the oven and she was pouring out your mug of tea.

Behind her she heard a quiet groan, a shuffling of blankets and the slow padding of your footsteps as you paused in the kitchen.

“Smells amazing.” You commented, your voice hoarse.

“Well I couldn’t exactly let you go empty handed now, could I?” She asked with a smile, stepping towards you to cup your cheek, kissing your forehead. “Surprised you’re up already.”

“Have to pee.” You yawned, “but I was out long enough to start feeling better.”

“Good.” She pecked your cheek, “hopefully this is only a twenty four hour thing then.”

“Mmhm.” You nodded before disappearing down the hallway.

You stopped in the kitchen on the way back, offering to help and she simply shooed you away, telling you to get comfortable on the couch while she took care of things. First she refilled your water, making sure it was cold and crisp, then she brought over your mug of tea, followed by a steaming bowl of soup with a bun on the side. Finally she joined you on the couch with her own dinner and wine, settling in beside you.

“What’d you want to watch?” She asked, smoothing your hair back, pressing a kiss to the side of your head.

“Grey’s.” You mumbled back, blowing on your tea to cool it off before taking a sip.

“Alright.” She replied with a smile, picking up the remote to figure out where you’d last left off on your favourite binge. She watched you curiously for a moment as you tried to navigate the bowl of soup without using the table or pulling both your arms out from under the blanket, “you need a hand?”

“I dunno how I’m supposed to do this without spilling it everywhere.” You whined and she chuckled.

“Here.” She reached for the bowl, “settle in however you want. I’ll hold the bowl; can you handle the spoon?” She asked with a tease and you scowled in her direction.

“I’d be mad at you if you hadn’t made me dinner.” You grumbled, coughing a couple of times before you finally managed to get comfortable and could start eating your soup.

Olivia was happy to see you finish the bowl completely, using the roll to soak up the remnants of the broth before she placed it back on the coffee table. She readjusted slightly, her arm coming to rest on the back of the couch, her heart warming as you immediately dropped into her side. Your head came to rest on her chest, her hand automatically going to your hair, softly playing with it as you curled around her.

“Thank you.” You murmured softly, letting out a little yawn as you refocused on the tv.

“Of course sweet girl.” She replied, kissing the top of your head, “whatever you want, you get. You know how much I hate to see you sick; you’ll feel better soon.”

“Promise?”

“I do.” She laid a kiss on your hair, her hand soothing up and down your back, “don’t fight the sleep alright, you’ve seen this show a million times, you already know what happens.”

“Alright, alright.” You didn’t have any energy left to even try and fight with her, your eyes fluttering shut as the strum of her heart lulled you to sleep.

Olivia had said it herself already, it didn’t matter what she had to give up, or how much extra work she had to do, she would do whatever it was you needed to make sure that you were happy and healthy. She loved you; she loved taking care of you and more importantly she loved seeing you shine and you couldn’t do that when you were sick. She would happily sacrifice an afternoon at work, a dinner out on the town if it meant making sure you knew you were loved.

Even if that meant you passed on whatever bug you had to her three days later and the entire process began again but from the other side.

______________________

@red1culous @imlike-so-gaydude @altsvu @svulife-rl rl @svushots @lesbianspacecowboy @whispered-tear-drops @wannabe-fic-reader @lawandorderimagines @venablemayfairgoode @whimsicallymad @oliviaswifey @alexusonfire @screenee @mysticfalls01 @beccabarba @littlegaybabe @cmmndrwidw @bumblebear30 @enduringalexblake @molllss @wosoimagines @brienneseveruscalawayfanfiction @solemnnova @infernumlilith @yourtaletotell @australiancarisi @cerberus-spectre @wandas-wife @emskisworld @newyorker14 @lawandorderuswnt @wandasbrat @hbkpop @samwithnoplan @multifandomlesbianic @sia2raw @ladysc @narvaldetierra @dxtery @poisonedcrowns @momlifebehard @holycrapraewth @alexxavicry @onmykneesformarvel @kmc1989 @temp0rary-bliss @prentiss-theorem

#law and order svu #olivia benson #olivia benson x reader #svu #law and order #law and order special victims unit

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dustofthedailylife · 11 months

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"There Are A Million Reasons To Be Happy - But You Are Mine."

Alhaitham x (gn!)Reader tags// angst, very bittersweet, no comfort, mentions of death

A/N: Short drabble that I needed to get out of my system sjdklsjkf. I do not take any responsibility for any possible emotional damage this may cause btw... *cough*

You never thought the day you'd lose Alhaitham forever would come so soon. Not when you had still planned to do so much together. Not when you still had your entire life ahead of you.

But then that fatal accident happened no one could have possibly foreseen.

Never in a million years did you think that Alhaitham would be taken from you in such a cruel way. Never did you expect you'd wish him a nice day in the morning and would never be able to hear his voice again after.

Now you were sitting on the cold stone floor of his office in your shared home seeking comfort in flipping through the pages of his favorite books.

Your throat too coarse to scream anymore, your body too weak to spill more tears. Numbness was the only thing left inside your hollow heart.

The spines and pages of the books before you were worn down by the excessive use they had found on a daily basis. And yet they felt familiar - comforting.

Little notes on some pages, bookmarks stuck in between others that made you feel like he was still with you. Made you feel like he was about to come home and would continue reading where he left off the day prior.

They felt like a little piece of him that was proof that he existed. That he was once part of your life.

And then you found the book in the drawer of his desk. It was a small olive-green leather book titled "Reasons To Be Happy". You had never seen it before yet it felt like it contained a key part of him.

You picked it up with shaky hands and began flipping through the pages. But soon your vision became blurred. Tears, you no longer knew you were able to spill, pooled in your eyes and left wet streaks in their wake as they cascaded down your face once more. Because as soon as you realized what the contents of the little book in your hands were, your heart shattered into a million pieces.

It contained a compendium of handwritten entries dating all the way back to the day you and Alhaitham met.

Everything you had done since that had filled him with joy, every trip and memory that had made him smile, no matter how minuscule they might've seemed to you - they were in here, recorded forever.

"You kissed my forehead and draped a blanket over me when you thought I fell asleep on the sofa." "You gifted me the book I briefly mentioned I wanted." "We went on a trip to a desert oasis together today. You're the reason I find enjoyment in even the most desolate places." "You were surprised you got the job you applied for, but I always knew you would. Your beaming smile that day made me fall in love all over again."

And the title page read: "There are a million reasons to be happy and a million things to find happiness in - but you are mine."

Do not repost, copy, translate or edit - © dustofthedailylife || reblogs, comments, and asks about Genshin, HSR or my fics are always greatly appreciated and motivate me!

#genshin impact #astronetwrk #genshin fanfic #genshin x reader #alhaitham x reader #al haitham x reader #alhaitham x y/n #genshin angst #genshin x gender neutral reader #genshin alhaitham #genshin x female reader #genshin x y/n #genshin impact fanfic #genshin drabbles #genshin scenarios #genshin brainrot #genshin headcanons #🍁 dust blurbs #🍁彡 gi

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sednonamoris · 1 year

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pony up

Pairing: John Marston x gn!reader

Summary: John and Abigail continue to argue. You and Jack are both stuck in the middle, so you make the best of it by teaching him to ride.

Warnings: Toxic relationships, arguing, strong language

Word count: 1,464

A/N: Two chapters in one day - PHEW!! I have to say I’m pretty pleased with how this one turned out. If you didn’t catch my earlier post there will be a bit of a break between today’s updates and Ch. 15 so I can take a moment to read and rest and make sure the coming chapters are as good as they can possibly be. I feel like a broken record saying this but thank you all so much for your support!!!

Series masterlist • AO3

—

You take to the Heartlands like you were born to endless green and not the cracked desert of your youth. Valentine makes boasts of civilization, despite Hosea’s stance on its mud and morons, but the wilderness that surrounds it is what captivates you. Sprawling and wild. Half-tamed and raw. Unbroken. The chirping cry of the eagle and mournful bugle of the elk command a symphony in your soul that begs to be set free. Each night your heart stampedes the open plains with the wild horses, and each morning it returns when the songbirds first sing.

Then the fighting starts.

“You ‘n me is one thing, but you could at least show up for the boy!” Abigail says this morning.

“Jesus, woman, quit naggin’ me!” John snipes back. He’s supposed to meet you to go fishing. You have a feeling that might not happen.

“I ain’t naggin’! If you would just—”

“I don’t have time for this. Ghost and I—”

“I don’t wanna hear another goddamn word about Ghost!” she all but screams. You flinch, even over by the hitching posts as you are. “What about me, John? What about our son?”

John’s eyes go hard. “What about you?”

It’s a low blow, even for him, and the backhanded slap that hits his face a moment later is no great surprise to anyone.

What is surprising is that when Abigail marches away, she marches toward you. You shift a little in place but don’t run, much as you’d like to. She points an accusing finger and doesn’t stop until it jams into your chest.

“You—” she chokes past the tears in her eyes, but when she sees the look in yours she can’t finish the sentence.

Because what is there to say, really? That she would kill for John to spend as much time with her as he does with you? That she wishes he would wait out for her when she goes into town, or comes back from the creek with baskets full of laundry that he’ll help her carry home? You know that already. The same as she knows, deep down, that you’d give anything for him to look at you with that same want in his eyes when he sees her. To have him come to your bed every night and wake together every morning. And isn’t it just sad? And aren’t you just fools?

“You watch out for him out there,” she finishes lamely, and you grasp her hand that’s still on your chest and squeeze the apology that’s lodged in your throat.

“Sure, Abigail. Take care.”

You let her go and she walks away, glaring at anyone who dares stare. John doesn’t say a word when you hand him his reins and head down to the river.

—

Days later, you’re sitting next to the fire enjoying a morning smoke with coffee strong enough to feel in your teeth. Pale, pre-dawn yellow streaks a sky marred only by your curling whisps of smoke. For once it is blessedly, blissfully quiet.

“Morning!” a bright voice chirps.

You close your eyes and take a deep, calming breath before turning to snarl at them, only to be met with an unexpected face.

“Jack,” you say, trying not to sound surprised. Or mean. “Where’s your ma?”

It’s not that you dislike the kid, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t try to steer clear of him most of the time. Just seems better that way.

“She’s at the river. Reverend is supposed to play with me but he’s sleeping again.”

Fuck. Of course he is.

You look around to see if someone - anyone - is around who can watch him instead, but most folks have already headed into town, and the girls are surely with Abigail doing the washing at the river. Fuck.

“Well, hey,” you fumble, “why don’t you ‘n me do somethin’ while we wait for him to wake up?”

“Really?” He sounds so excited. It breaks your heart a little.

“Really.”

You’d been planning to ride out, maybe find a horse to fence, but instead you while away the morning playing every game imaginable with little Jack. He’s way too smart for you, listing off the wildest names you never heard of while you play pretend. You’re Penelope. Telemachus. Charybdis. He always gets to be Odysseus, who must be the hero. Then he wants to go hunting for bugs, so you dutifully lift rocks only for him to squeal when centipedes and beetles come creepy-crawling with all of their legs and pinchy parts. Then he tells you it’s your turn to pick something. You try to wrack your brain, but the only thing you can think to ask is if he knows how to ride on his own yet.

You smile when he says no.

“About time you learned, then.”

With a sweet chestnut Morgan who sometimes packs for you on hunting trips as a model, you take your time explaining how important it is to take proper care of your horse. How to brush with the grain of the hair. What every piece of tack does. You thought he might get bored, but the kid absorbs information like a sponge. He asks question after question, until finally he hits you with one you aren’t expecting.

“Why are you called Ghost? Aren’t ghosts scary?”

“What,” you say, “I ain’t scary enough for you?”

He suddenly looks nervous, so you smile and ruffle his hair.

“Relax, kid. I only scare bad guys and little shits who don’t mind their ma.”

“What’s a ‘little shit’?”

You raise a brow at him. “Take a guess.”

He laughs.

There’s just enough room at the edge of camp for you to work in, so under watchful eyes you let Jack lead the mare over. He’s terribly proud of himself.

“Ready to mount up?” you ask, then don’t give him a moment to think about it before lifting him up and into the saddle.

He stares at you with wide eyes, scared and excited all at once. You remember the feeling.

“Breathe, kid,” you remind him. “And get those feet in the stirrups. Sit deep. Shoulders tall.” You touch a hand to his stomach. “If you’re strong here, it’ll help you both balance. Less likely to fall.”

He nods, trying to do everything at once. He’s only halfway successful, but it will all come with practice. You lead the mare in between and around picketed horses, twisting and turning but keeping a steady pace. Every few strides you remind Jack to tilt his heels down, or square his shoulders. His little brow furrows with concentration.

You don’t even realize how much time has passed until the sun sits high in the afternoon sky, and Abigail returns with the girls and baskets and baskets of laundry.

“Reverend!” her shout rings through the clearing. “Where the hell is my son?”

“Over here, Mama!” Jack calls from atop his mount.

He’s graduated to guiding the mare in circles off the lead, but you’re still close by. She’s being a wonderful sport about it, eyes half closed while she putters about barely registering the butterfly kicks her young rider gives.

Abigail stops short when she sees you. Before she can say a word, Jack smiles and cheers for her attention to show off his new skills. He makes the mare turn left, then right, then beams over at the both of you.

“That’s,” Abigail starts, “Well, that’s real fine, Jack. Did you say ‘thank you’?”

“Thanks, Ghost!”

“Sure, kid. Any time.”

The emotion that shines in her eyes is hard to place, but it brings a fragile smile to your face that she mirrors.

You help Jack down and he runs up to hug her skirts, smelling of sweat and horses, you’re sure.

“Should Jack help cool her out?” Abigail asks.

You huff a laugh. The mare hasn’t broken a sweat. “I’ve got it. You two go on now.”

They turn to go, Jack racing off ahead, but Abigail stops and turns back. “Ghost?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you.” There’s so much packed into those two words, years of misunderstanding trying desperately to heal the pretty blue hurt in her eyes. The desert cracks in yours.

You tip your hat, nod in understanding, scared that if you try to speak no words will come.

—

John finds you later.

“Heard you an’ Jack had fun today.”

You cut your eyes at him but keep your head on straight at the shirt you’re mending. It’s a botch job, but at least the hole will be gone. “Sure. Good kid you got there.”

“Ain’t so sure he is mine.” His laugh is humorless. Caustic.

“Does it matter?”

He’s silent for a long moment before admitting on a sigh, “I don’t know anymore.”

You don’t either.

#john marston x reader #rdr2 x reader #rdr x reader #ghost story #fran writes #ch. 14

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lovebillyhargrove · 8 months

Text

Wake me up when July is around

Chapter 8

Chapter 9/?

***

The loud beeping of an alarm clock wakes Billy up at 8.30 am on Saturday, and he wishes he was dead.

Last night they partied hard.

Hangover is a logical but, clearly, an unwelcome payback. It feels like a thousand of tiny evil blacksmiths are forging iron on their anvils right inside his head. Fucking christ. Billy opens his eyelids with much difficulty and immediately closes them again. He has to get up, damn it, he has to be at work at 12.

He has to rise from the ashes.

That Halloween Friday sure was freaky.

Billy is instantly filled with regret.

Why didn't he reset his alarm clock yesterday for later.

Before the party, he didn't think about it. He was only shaking his ass in front of the mirror admiring how good he looked in that leather jacket, bitches be thirsty.

After the party it was too late to think about the fucking alarm clock.

Okay, slowly .. slowly, he needs to sit up.

Just don't throw up. On the fucking carpet.

Billy is sitting upright on the bed. That's an achievement. It feels like he's still alive. He can move.

His throat is dry like the Sahara desert, he's in desperate need of water. He has to get to the kitchen.

Billy registers that he's still wearing the dark blue jeans and the gloves from his party costume. The black leather jacket is lying on the floor, near the boots.

Billy slowly takes off the gloves, finds a t-shirt lying nearby and puts it on.

Did he come home at 3? He doesn't really remember. Something like that. He only knows that he was trying to be as quiet as possible, not to wake anyone up, because that skill is ingrained in his brain and body, deep.

Billy forces himself to get on his feet, and sits back down right away, dizzy and miserable.

Okay. Let's try again, buddy.

He so overdid it yesterday.

After dragging himself off the bed, Billy makes it to the door

But the moment he opens it, he understands that it was a mistake. He can hear voices coming from the kitchen, it's Neil and Susan having breakfast. The evil leprechaun must be still sleeping.

Fuck his life, he's gonna die if he doesn't drink water but his dad's wrath is also scary. At least Neil's not gonna kill him right now, in front of his wife, as an extra good morning.

Billy summons all his strength to look as normal as possible and shuffles to the bathroom. He drinks straight from the tap, washes his face and looks at the toilet bowl as if making sure that throwing up is not on today's agenda.

It's still to be seen, but not right this moment, at least.

If he's gonna go back to his room, dad's gonna get on his ass about "being disrespectful" and "not saying good morning". Looks like Billy has no choice but to show his face to them in all its hungover glory.

He checks the face in the mirror. It's fine. Looks human.

Just don't puke on the breakfast table, and everything will be A-okay.

Billy goes to the kitchen, all humble and trying to look like a shadow.

"Good morning, dad. Good morning, Susan."

"Will you look at yourself?"

Neil's voice is full of disgust.

"What time did you get home yesterday?"

"I uh .. a little after midnight, probably. I apologize if I woke you up."

"You didn't wake us up, Billy." Susan is cutting in. "Would you like some breakfast?"

He actually needs to eat something but

He can't even drink coffee right now.

Water. Water. It'll get better in an hour, he just needs a lot of water, and to lie down.

"No, thank you, Susan. I'll get myself something later."

Billy pours a full glass of water. Time to retreat while it's still peaceful.

"I'll be in my room if you need anything."

"Mark my words, son, as soon as you finish school, I'm not paying for another single day of your life! Senior year, the most important time, and he's wasting it on .. what, on debauchery??" Neil is addressing Susan now, all indignant and angry, oh he is angry but Billy hopes it won't get bigger than that.

At nine o'clock Neil and Susan are supposed to go grocery shopping, like they always do on Saturdays. Neil likes it when they stick to a plan. He's already getting up and looking for his car keys. Susan takes the last sip of her tea and starts flopping her good housewife wings around the kitchen.

"Let's go, Susan. Billy will clean up after breakfast, right?"

"Of course, I will."

"Thank you, Billy. Good bye! Wake Maxine up at 10 if she doesn't get up, please!" Susan is taking her purse and the list of groceries.

"Sure. Have a nice time shopping!"

Billy hears his dad telling Susan on their way out

"Seems a bit late to sleep for a girl her age?"

"I know, honey, but she gets so tired during the week, let her have her Saturday .."

The door closes, and they're gone.

It went very well, actually, all things considered.

Probably Neil just didn't want to deal with a hungover teenager cause the said teenager might throw up all over the place, so it's better not to touch him.

Such an unfortunate episode did happen once, when Billy was still in his very green years. He came home drunk, and Neil got in his face. He grabbed the boy by his collar and was telling him what a piece of crap and a fucking burden he was, which only led to Billy feeling even worse. Neil had to run to the shower to wash the vomit off, leaving his son to clean up the mess he'd made.

He got slapped around for that later, but it taught Neil a lesson as well.

Billy goes back to his room clutching the glass of water like a lifeline.

He sits down on the bed again and after finishing the whole glass, lies down. He doesn't want to close his eyes though, cause the dizziness is gonna be back so he's just lying there staring at the ceiling.

Vile gray light is seeping through the window. Outside the rain is drizzling.

Fuck Indiana and its nasty weather right in its Midwestern ass.

Fucking hell.

Billy usually knows when to stop, but yesterday he clearly didn't.

What even happened yesterday? .. He did the keg stand, and there was more beer and vodka .. and he definitely mixed it all, hence the hangover. Smoking non-stop, dancing, Tommy following him around like a faithful bulldog, Vicky hanging on his arm and touching his abs while they were dancing. There was another girl, persistently asking for his attention, Jennifer or .. was it ..

Oh shit.

Oh no no no no

Fucking stupid piece of shit.

Fffffuuuuuucckkkkk.

Billy shuts his eyes but it is a bad idea, because he's getting the dizzies and everything's spinning, so he presses his palms to his closed eyes, wishing to erase the memory of what happened between him and .. fuck. The dumb bitch, Harrington.

He and Harrington fucking .. smooched ??

No no no no nooooo

Billy is groaning hoarsely, and the sound of it reflects the depth of his desperation at his own stupidity

Why is he such an idiot. Why did he do it. He should've instead broken Harrington 's pretty nose ..

fuck JUST nose! Without the pretty, forget that he said .. or thought that.

What was it even, Billy didn't want to start any shit in the first place, as god is his witness.

His clouded consciousness doesn't provide him with much, but some flashes do come to his mind.

Bathroom. Harrington.

He fucking started it!

His face. His lips. His hand on the back of Billy's head, almost hurting, the fingers sharp and digging into his skin

The silky softness.

The wetness of their tongues touching

Fuck fuck FUCK.

Mission: erasing the memories.

Billy is an idiot. A certified one.

***

He crawls out of his bedroom half an hour later for more water, and to go to the bathroom. The hangover is gradually stepping away, but the more it does, the more unsettled Billy is.

His dad is right.

He's an imbecile.

At around ten he bangs on Max's door,

"Wakie, wakie, Maxine!" he bellows and then bangs some more until he hears

"Stop it, you jerk!"

"Rise and shine, birdbrain!"

Then goes to the kitchen to finally find some food.

He's slowly getting back to his senses. At 12 he needs to be at work, and he will be. Old Joe won't even notice that Billy partied last night.

Partied so hard, that he ended up kissing that annoying motherfucker.

Erase, erase, erase.

No panic. It was only once, and it was a mistake but Billy could always say nothing happened.

He was so wasted, he wasn't himself. Hell, he didn't even remember it when he woke up.

Harrington is not gonna run his mouth about it, what is he, a kamikaze?

It's nothing, it's just a drunken slip up.

Happens to the best of us, amirite?

***

Steve stays at home all Saturday. They only go grocery shopping with mom, he drives her to the store and back in the afternoon. Or course, Dad chooses this very day to ask him fucking questions. Steve mumbles something about his captainship ot the basketball team and finally finishing his college application essay. He's also retaking his SATs at the beginning of November cause the results of the tests he took last year were not very high. Not high enough.

They were pretty low. After he gets the new results back, he'll still have time to apply to some places. Mom asks him if he has thought of a backup plan, and Steve honestly says

"No, mom. I haven't."

"You probably should."

"Yes, I will, after I'm done with applications. Can I go study now?"

Parents do not seem very happy with the outcome of their conversation, but Steve can't offer more. To him, his future plan looks okay for now.

Honestly, Steve doesn't even know what specific sphere he'd like to study. He's still at home and at school, and the future seems vague and a little bit scary. Nancy is definitely aiming at a university, and Steve's not sure what will happen to their relationship.

Especially after yesterday.

He spends the whole evening revising for his SATs. A lot of confusing stuff. He probably should've started sooner, and not a week before.

Well.

Steve studies more on Sunday, but then Tommy calls and they decide to go to a pizza place.

They order pepperoni and cola, and Steve can finally take a breath with his whole chest

"Ugh man, I've been studying for two days straight, my brain's on fire."

"Dad wants you to get into Yale or something?"

"Well no .. but .. they want me to have a clear plan, and I don't have it, and it's just .. they fucking nag."

Tommy nods in understanding

"Yeah man."

"Must retake SATs soon, and it just .."

"It sucks."

They chew some more pizza

"You remember, Hargrove took your keg king title? The dude got 52 seconds, fucking crazy."

At the mention of Hargrove's name Steve's cheeks start feeling hotter

"Yeah, whatever. I got bigger problems to worry about now."

"The princess?"

"We had a huge fight at the party. She was so drunk. I dunno, Tommy."

"You haven't talked to her since the party?"

"No. Why?"

Hagan is looking at Harrington in a weird way

"Hey, man .. I've actually been meaning to tell you. I think you should know."

"Know what?"

"Your Wheeler girl .. remember you asked me and Carol where she was and we told you she'd left home?"

"Yeah?"

"Well she didn't go home alone."

"That's good? She was drunk."

"Do you know who she left with?"

"How am I supposed to know that? I didn't see her leaving. You and Carol told me she was fine, and I .. I kinda left it at that?"

"So you still don't know?"

"Tommy, what the fuck?"

Hagan's still looking at Steve like he pities him but he also wants to gloat so bad because he told his friend a lot of times to "dump that prissy bitch", and they even fought over it, more than once, and voilà, in the end Tommy is actually right

"I thought that maybe she left with this .. Samantha or something? .. Tommy??"

"You girlfriend left with the Byers freak."

WHAT

"She what?"

"Just thought you should know."

"She left with Byers?"

"Yup."

"Jonathan Byers?"

"Yes, Steve."

Fucking what?

"Are you sure?"

"Dude, I was drunk but not blind. Carol saw that too. Nancy went downstairs in her wet dress, and it was like .. well, he was just standing there near the stairs. They talked for a minute and then went away together."

Well, that's uh .. Steve didn't expect that.

Is that what people feel when their heart breaks? Is that the burning acid of being betrayed?

Tommy eats what's left of the pizza.

Steve doesn't pick Nancy up on Monday to drive her to school as he usually does.

***

On Monday before practice coach Nelson informs the team that

"We're having visitors this week, boys! Let's show them all you've got!"

Two sports recruiters are coming to see if they have any hidden talents here in Hawkins.

Billy thinks someone should warn them not to waste their time. There's nothing to look for here. Nada. Fucking zero.

He knows that the odds of being chosen are extremely slim. And even if a recruiter spots you, it guarantees nothing.

Billy has seen his share of sports scouts back in San Diego. He's aware that they are not interested in him.

There are so many good things recruiters told Billy. He's a great player, he scores points, he makes flashy moves, his techniques of shooting, dribbling, rebounding and defense are excellent as well as such attributes as strength, endurance, speed and agility, blah blah blah. His physical characteristics - weight and wingspan - meet the requirements. Add to it Billy's intelligence on the court and the unbeaten desire to win.

He basically has it all.

There's just one problem - Hargrove's too short to be a professional basketball player. He's too fucking short, and that's why a career in basketball is not even an option.

He's 5'10. It's fine. Just not for the NBA.

At some point in his life Billy used to be bitter about his height. That was when the first recruiter came looking and he was like

"Kid, if only you were taller."

The second one said the same. And the third. Little by little, Billy accepted it as it is, and that's why

He doesn't care about the visitors. Unlike him, the whole team is buzzing. Are they stupid? Recruiters will never choose any of them. The only player who has a tiny microscopic chance of getting noticed is probably Andy. He's tall, he's got the physique. His game's not great but it can be worked with.

Harrington, on the other hand? Billy's has seen his serious and focused face, eyebrows knitted together, when the coach mentioned the recruiters.

Please, it's ridiculous.

Billy's not even gonna elaborate. It's simply ludicrous.

Harrington can drool all over his pillow having dreams of a sports scholarship or a prominent career in the NBA, and the sucker can keep on dreaming because that's as close as he's gonna get to playing this sport professionally.

Anyhoo.

It's skins and shirts as always, and Billy's playing rough as usual. He's seen Harrington in the school hallway earlier and they shared a class. Billy just straight up ignored the loser. Steve also didn't seem to look his way much, maybe he doesn't even remember about the kiss.

He also looks as if he's brooding about something, like something weighs heavy on his preppy-ass soul.

Either way, it's not Billy's business and he doesn't give a shit.

And yeah,

Mission: erasing the memories of the most idiotic kiss

Status: incomplete.

In his defense, Billy was so wasted, he could've kissed anyone.

***

During the match Hargrove behaves like nothing happened, there's just something about his game that's extra precise and extra ruthless. Like he wants to show with all his obnoxious persona that he's above all that and doesn't give a fuck. It's likely he doesn't recall what happened on Friday night because he was drunk as a fish.

Or it's a bluff.

He remembers.

Steve knows he does. Why is he so sure? Cause Hargrove hasn't touched him once since the beginning of the game, hasn't said anything mean to him. He's trying to send a message that he doesn't care, but he's trying too hard, and it shows.

Billy knows what they've done, and he's .. what, ashamed?

Heheehe.

Nice.

Harrington would've gotten much more pleasure out of it if his heart wasn't hurting.

Are they broken up with Nancy, did she cheat on him? What the hell is this whole fucking situation?

Steve's lost in his thoughts when suddenly he hears Nancy's loud irritated voice

"Steve?"

There she is, standing at the gym doors, clearly expecting Harrington to come have a conversation with her outside.

He doesn't want to bail on his team in the middle of the game but he's been avoiding Nancy all morning, and soon he won't be able to tolerate the level of acidity that has swallowed his whole being.

They do need to talk.

Steve needs it.

They go outside to the little passage between the gym and the school building where they usually hide smoking with the guys.

Maybe it's the first time since they got together, when Steve's absolutely not happy to see his girlfriend. Ex-girlfriend? Guess we'll find out now.

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you think?"

Nancy sounds pissed. She talks to him in that tone like .. like a strict mother to a naughty child, when she's angry at him.

"You didn't call all weekend.. and where were you this morning? I missed first period!"

"I figured Jonathan would take you."

"Wha .. what are you talking about?" Maybe she's a good actress but there's genuine surprise in her voice. She looks confused.

Harrington scoffs

"Jesus, you really can't handle your alcohol."

"Uh ..?"

"You remember going to Tina's party on Friday night?"

"Yes?"

"And then what?"

"I remember dancing .. and spilling some punch."

Nancy's thinking for a second.

"You got mad at me because I was drunk. And then you took me home."

Does she really remember nothing or that's all acting?

"No, see, this is where your mind gets a little bit fuzzy."

Steve's making a pause.

"That was your other boyfriend. That was .. that was Jonathan."

There's a perplexed expression on Nancy's face

"I don't understand."

"It's pretty simple, Nance."

"What?"

"You were just telling it like it is."

Maybe she really doesn't remember. That doesn't make it okay though.

"Uh .. apparently, we killed Barb and I don't care cause I'm bullshit and our whole .. our whole relationship is bullshit and .. I mean, pretty much everything is just bullshit bullshit bullshit."

Nancy raises her well-defined eyebrows and wrinkles her forehead

That doesn't make the stuff she told Steve okay!!

"Oh yeah also you don't love me."

"I was drunk, Steve. I don't remember any of that."

Really? So you can get hammered and tell your boyfriend you don't love him, and then everything should just get back to normal cause you don't recall doing that?

"So that makes everything you said .. it's what? Just bullshit too?"

"Yes?"

"Then tell me. Tell me that you love me and there's nothing going on between you and Jonathan."

"Really, Steve?"

"Harrington !!"

Roy is out of his breath, appearing between the buildings.

"Dude we need you, man! That douchebag is killing us! Let's go !!"

"I'm coming!"

"There is nothing going on between me and Jonathan, Steve."

It's nice to hear, really. Steve needs a longer explanation though.

"We're not done talking, Nance."

Their team loses anyways, with or without the captain. There's something about Billy's game today, it's .. like he's holding that distance, with a hint of "nothing personal, guys".. Is he getting ready to show off in front of the sports scouts? The new behaviour infuriates the hell out of Steve, even though the asshole hasn't pushed him one single time.

You're wrong about nothing personal, Hargrove. Locking mouths seems pretty personal to me.

However, Billy's not number one problem on the list of Steve's troubles right now. Let him believe Harrington has suffered a case of amnesia, and there was no kiss.

***

Steve picks Nancy up after school. On the way to her house she tells him

"Nothing happened that night, I swear."

"Are you sure, Nance? You didn't even understand who took you home! You thought it was me!"

"Steve, I would know if someone tried sleeping with me in my own bed, okay?"

She also admits that they sometimes talk with Jonathan between classes or during library study. They talk mostly about Barb, because his little brother Will was also missing last summer. They found him in the woods. Three weeks later, yet they found him. Maybe Barb also disappeared in the woods. Too much time has passed and there's no hope of finding her alive, but bringing some certainty would help her parents obtain peace.

Nancy assures Steve there's nothing romantic going on between her and Jonathan.

Steve's at a loss. Like .. he feels that he can't give Nancy the consolation she's looking for. He has no idea what happened to Barb and he thinks they should let the police deal with the whole thing. He can listen to Nancy, but what else can he offer? He's not .. experienced at things like that.

Steve should probably make a scene anyway and get really pissed and show her how hurt his feelings are, but he's also kinda glad everything 's cleared up, and she didn't cheat on him, and they are still together.

They are still together, right?

Nevertheless, he definitely must keep an eye on Jonathan Byers. The guy took creepy pictures of them in the middle of the night, Nancy seems to have forgotten about that. Steve should have a talk with Byers, tell him to stay away from his girl.

They kiss each other good bye.

It feels .. mechanic.

***

Late at night when Steve's again tossing and turning in bed, he suddenly realises that Nancy told him a lot of words but forgot to mention the most important thing - she didn't tell him she loved him.

Should he ask her again?

Tell me you love me

He's always thought if you're in love and in a relationship, you shouldn't be asking the person you're together with for confirmation.

Steve again feels that he wants to give so much, but no-one needs it, and no-one is willing to give back the same amount.

Of love.

Or even close to it.

Maybe relationships aren't that easy, and he's idealising them.

However, if there's no love, what's there to fight for?

#harringrove #harringrove fic #billy x steve #harringrove slow burn #mean s1 steve vs mean billy

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belaprus · 11 months

Text

Dottore x reader: being his assistant (pt.7)

'Today is another day of work', you thought while waking up in your bed... except that it wasn't your bed.

You had woken up in a white room full of lights, hard gum-coated metal keeping your head, arms and legs in place. You knew perfectly what this meant: 'That bastard Pantalone...! Did he set me up?!'

You froze in place as you heard one clapping sound, then another, and then again, the sound getting closer and closer to the hospital bed you laid in.

"Well done, Akademiya student... What was your name again?"

You were silent. Not only Pantalone had set you up, he had even disclosed your past to a fucking sociopath. 'Speaking about worst-case-scenario, here...' your thoughts were interrupted by the harsh sound of his hands falling at your sides. He didn't have his mask on, and given the context you had half an idea it was your last time seeing him... Or anything else at all, for that matter. You couldn't help gulping as this time his whole face was looking at you, and it made it that much more intimidating.

With his malicious, wide smile on you, he spoke again: "A little bird told me you have quite the crush on me"

"So you decided to tie me up? So romantic"

"SHUT UP", his composure was already gone, along with your hopes for the future. He continued:

"What do you know about me?"

"..." You didn't know if telling him you had searched up all of Sumeru's Akademiya to find clues about him would have been better than lying, at this point. How would he react? Would he even believe you?

--------------

'Like hell she did. It must have been Pantalone's doing all along' was all he could think about. He was furious. How had he been so blind as to trust her? 'Calm down, Dottore... Gut is always right. There must be something I've been missing about... I just have to make her talk'

He pulled out a scalpel from his coat's pocket, taking it upwards along her belly to stop at her neck, pointing vertically at her jugular.

"You're in no position to stay silent, little assistant. Think carefully"

"Are you here to find an excuse to hunt your colleague down? Because if you are, it doesn't even matter what I say"

"You would already be dead if that was the case. Talk now, I'm not gonna wait any longer"

"I used to have connections with the Akademiya, and that's where I had come to know that you were back in Sumeru. I didn't know a thing about you at first, but just hearing about how you were cast out of the Akademiya for blasphemy was enough to abandon all of my other researches to come looking for you"

"Did you encounter the Traveler?"

"I was tailing him when he found your little hospital in the middle of the desert. I read all of the pages you left regarding your experiments"

"And then?"

"I got cast away, because I was found out. It was shortly after that time that Pantalone scouted me. At first, I was in charge of following the Traveler, but after the accident with your clones had happened he said you would need some company, because you were getting unstable. Only me and the Traveler, other than the other Harbingers, would know enough about you to be considered worthy of the job. And that's why Pantalone sent me to you"

"How often have you been reporting to him about my situation?"

"Once a week"

A dry laughter was his only response, as he slightly removed the scalpel from her throat. But this wasn't enough for him. He then moved it onto her left eye:

"I feel like you've already seen too much with those eyes of yours. Though I have an important question to make before I decide to act on them: why did you make it all this way, just to get to me?"

She had been calm until now, her face a mess of conflicting emotions. She looked like she wasn't able to put all of her thoughts in order, blabbering nonsense as Dottore felt this was her perfect spot to poke on. When the scalpel was about to touch her eye, she finally spat out:

"Because I was so sick of this world. Whatever new thing I wanted to try out, people from the Akademiya would deem it as blasphemy. Machinery could have been used to help with hard labour, but it was forbidden. Psychiatry could help those who were mentally unstable to recover, but it was forbidden. And it was always “Rukkhadevata” this, “Rukkhadevata” that... I had never even seen a god. And even when I got to the other side of Sumeru, I was only met with another kind of fanatics, seeing the Village Keepers as animals despite them having saved all. I just wanted to take the best out of anything, that's the only thing I was ever good at. But just for once, I had changed plans... I wanted to find someone who could understand me, instead of the opposite. Someone just as wrong and blasphemous as me"

By the time she had finished, the scalpel was on the ground. Tears then started to fill her face, and it sent shivers down Dottore's spine: no wonder Pantalone had chosen her to be his assistant. Both of them had fallen under his trap. What was he scheming? 'Is he trying to mock me?', he thought. But his thoughts and words weren't matching up:

"You're not wrong. You wanted knowledge to help others. That's the only thing I wouldn't understand about you: you found yourself into a nest of wolves, but you aren't one of us"

She looked hurt now. He continued nevertheless:

"Do you even realize Pantalone has been using you all along?"

"I do. But if that's what it takes to be here with you, I would do it again an infinite amount of times"

His eyes opened wide as that sparkle from back when he was talking with Pantalone had returned. He knew he shouldn't have chosen to ask her. This was exactly what his guts were warning him about: feeling this good had to be avoided at all costs. He was relieved, though: such a mentally broken girl couldn't be capable of lying... Not to him, at least. There still was this stirring anxiety about what she had said earlier, but at least the worst hadn't happened: she only knew as far as Pantalone did.

-----------

When he had completely released you of your metal bands, you were full of bruises around the zones they were put on. You weren't sure how to tell Pantalone: in all honesty, you had a feeling he had already predicted, if not wanted, this.

#il dottore #dottore x reader smut #dottore x reader #dottore #fatui #fatui harbingers #not safe for what #genshin impact

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tihnxri · 2 years

Text

— #cynari hanahaki disease fic.

words: 2806

has not been proofread.

— this is my first time posting something like this here. i hope it’s alright (“:

- - -

The gentle touches, the careful hands around his wrists, the small whispers, the laughter like they’re the only ones in the room—Tighnari couldn’t help but lean into it all. Each time Cyno came around, Tighnari felt an instant warmth in his chest; when Cyno gets close, with their shoulders knocking, it sparks a shock through Tighnari. And when Cyno brings back dates from the desert after his trips, Tighnari eats them to show his gratitude even if he doesn’t entirely enjoy the snack. It’s from Cyno, Tighnari will take anything offered to him from the jackal.

Collei could tell that Tighnari held deep emotions for the General Mahamatra. If Cyno couldn’t see how differently he’s been treated by Tighnari compared to the others, then the sun from the desert must have stolen his eyesight. The signs are so explicit, even if Tighnari tries to hide it.

There are times where Cyno would stay the night after a long trip. He’d lay in Tighnari’s bed as the latter stayed up all night trying to focus on his work and logs. Often he would fall asleep there and wake up with a blanket around his shoulders and an empty bed. Tighnari hates that Cyno leaves so quietly, but he knows the general wants him to get his rest.

Despite all of this, Tighnari still coughs up the petals and feels stems crawling around his lungs. The thorns painfully pierce him from time to time and force him to cough those blood-covered petals up. He’s managed to hide it from everyone for this long, though Collei could tell that he was feeling sick. The girl is around him often enough to tell when something is up.

“Master Tighnari,” she knocks on his door and walks in when welcomed, “I just returned with the rest of the forest rangers, and I wanted to bring you our report.” The girl walks over to her teacher, handing him the clipboard.

“More withering zones are appearing, huh?” He presses his finger to his lip in thought. “Ghandarva Ville?”

“Just outside the perimeter,” she confirms. “We took care of it, but only managed to sustain it. I don’t doubt it will grow back.”

“Thanks for the report. You can go now.” Tighnari places the clipboard to his side, feeling the petals come up. He clears his throat to try and chase it down so he could cough it up when Collei leaves. Once the door shuts, he slaps a hand over his mouth and coughs up so many bloody petals. Tighnari avoids his desk so there’s no blood on the papers.

The pain feels a lot worse today, but Tighnari acts like everything is fine. He wipes off the blood from his lips and tosses the flowers away. Oh, how painful it was that he knows Cyno can’t possibly feel the same way. The Fennec fox leans back in his chair, a soft sigh escaping his lips as he looks at the ceiling. His ears flatten, disheartened at the thought of Cyno rejecting him.

“Oh, Master Tighnari?” Collei tilts her head at the General Mahamatra. “He’s gone out with a few Forest Rangers to clear the withering. You just missed him, he left around maybe 10 minutes ago. If you wish, you can stay until he returns!”

Cyno hums softly. “I’m in a bit of a rush,” he pulls a box from his bag to hand them to Collei, “but please give these to him on my behalf. They’re the dates he enjoys. I thought I’d bring him some more.”

“Are you sure you don’t want to wait a bit?” Collei asked, taking the box into her arms. “It’s been a while since you two talked. I’m sure Master Tighnari would enjoy your presence.”

“I wish I could,” Cyno crosses his arms, “but I have important things to deal with. I was just in the area, so I thought I’d stop by to check in on you both.”

Collei smiles, “Well, I can’t stop you. I hope you can come back again soon, when Master Tighnari is around. I’ll be sure to let him know!” Cyno only nods and leaves, blending into the night with his black cloak.

Tighnari returns 10 minutes later exhausted and his arm bandaged up. Collei panics, already asking if he’s okay and if he needs anything. “I’m alright, Collei. Just a couple scratches that will heal by the end of the week.” Tighnari smiles in reassurance, sitting at his desk. He notices the box, sitting upright.

Collei notices and gasps, “Right! Those are from the General Mahamatra. He stopped by while you were out, but he was in a rush and couldn’t stay. He said he was in the area and decided to stop by quickly.”

Tighnari frowns a little. He missed Cyno? The one person he wished to see? “Always busy, that one.” Tighnari laughs a little and opens the box to see the candied sweets. He offers some to Collei who doesn’t hold back. “Did he say when he’ll stop by again?”

The girl frowns and shakes her head, swallowing down the sweets before talking, “He left after he handed these to me. He didn’t say when he would return.” Tighnari only nods and looks out his window. It’s already getting late, so he sends Collei off for the night.

Tighnari removes part of his clothing, only remaining in the hoodie and his pants before climbing up the thick branches of the trees. There’s a spot he always sits at to relax after a long day of dealing with the withering. It’s where he chooses to sit and meditate to not let his body get corrupted. The branches sway in the cold wind, lulling the Fennec fox to sleep.

The rustle of leaves, and the creak of the branch, notifies Tighnari of Cyno’s arrival before he speaks, “I thought I’d find you here.”

“You returned early,” Tighnari replies as he looks at his friend. “You usually show up a week later. What’s the occasion?”

Cyno sits beside Tighnari, shaking his head. “Nothing. I was still nearby and thought you’d be back by now.” The General looks at Tighnari, eyes turning soft. “You’re injured.”

Tighnari tucks his arm to his chest. “It’s nothing too bad. Just a few small scratches.”

“Surely you wouldn’t need a wrapping like that if you only had small scratches.” Tighnari can always count on Cyno to know him too well. The fox smiles and shakes his head while giving a small laugh.

“Nothing can ever get past the General Mahamatra, can it?”

Cyno shakes his head, “Especially if he’s your friend.” Right—friend. That’s all he’ll ever be. Tighnari can feel the thorns tighten around his lungs, making him wheeze a little. He tries so hard to hide it; however, the universe had it out for him. The petals are growing up his esophagus, scratching and itching to come out. Tighnari can barely focus on Cyno’s words because he’s too concentrated on choking the flowers down. Those forsaken white daffodils are turning red from his blood.

“Tighnari, are you—”

Tighnari coughs hard as he’s unable to hold it back anymore. The white petals come out in a bundle, choking him as he tries to breathe. Cyno panics and tries to get near, but Tighnari yells at him to stay away. He doesn't want Cyno to see him like this, so he runs off in fear. Tighnari locks himself in his little house and falls to his knees as he coughs and coughs until he passes out.

When he wakes up, he’s in his bed and not on the floor like he remembers. The flowers are gone, and Cyno is still here. Tighnari sits up quickly but the massive throb in his head has him laying back down.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were sick?” Cyno asks, fists clenched.

“What does it matter?” Tighnari feels the pain in his chest returning.

“What do you mean ‘what does it matter’?” Cyno stands, upset. “You’re my friend. Probably the only one I’ll ever have! Why can’t I be concerned when you’re—you’re like this?”

Tighnari feels himself breaking. “Because you wouldn’t understand!” He gets up and ignores the pain all over his body.

“Then make me understand, Tighnari. Tell me what’s wrong and what this disease is. Flower petals full of blood? The flower petals you coughed up.”

Tighnari can feel his blood run cold. Cyno doesn’t know what it is. Tighnari knows that if he confesses and gets rejected, it will speed up the process and he could be dead by tonight. Maybe the next couple hours. How much time will he have left?

The thorns pierce his lungs more, making him whimper in pain and double over. Cyno is by his side, holding him so he doesn’t collapse on the floor. “You don’t—” he wheezes— “you don’t get it. You don’t know what will happen, but I do.” Tighnari’s feeling completely sick now as the flowers grow rapidly.

“What?” Cyno pulls Tighnari up to sit him down on the bed. “What will happen, Tighnari?”

Tighnari feels tears in his eyes and he coughs harshly, more daffodils falling onto his lap as he wheezes and chokes. Cyno didn’t know what to do. “It’s incurable. Only.. only true love can save me. If not that, it can be surgically removed, but it removes all my feelings for that person.”

“True love?” Tighnari starts to cry at Cyno’s words. “Who do you love?” Tighnari grits his teeth as the tears fall, finding the courage to look up into Cyno’s eyes. Then it hits the jackal. “Tighnari… I—” Here it comes. The end of his life. “I’m sorry. We can’t, I—I’m in love with someone else.”

The thorns are merciless. They curl around Tighnari’s lungs and heart, ripping the tissue and tearing him apart inside out. The fox cries out and falls, screaming as he squeezes his chest. Cyno panics and starts calling for help, trying to keep Tighnari conscious but the pain is unbearable.

When Tighnari wakes up, he’s in a pale white room. The lights are bright, there’s something beeping beside him, and he feels like he could finally breathe. Tighnari sits up and presses a hand to his head, hearing a small gasp.

“Master Tighnari!”

“Tighnari!”

The Fennec fox looks up to see Collei with Aether and Paimon. He blinks, confused. “What..? Where am I? What’s going on?” Collei cries and jumps into Tighnari’s arms, hugging him but being gentle. He holds the girl as he tries to figure this out.

“We heard the news that you were seriously injured and undergoing surgery while we were about to leave for Aaru Village.” Aether frowns.

“Yeah! We heard a few of the Akademiya students rambling on and on about you, and we came here right away!” Paimon looks on the verge of tears.

“Surgery?” It all starts to hit Tighnari; that’s why he can breathe better now. When he woke up, he didn’t think of Cyno at all. His heart doesn’t pound at the thought of him. “They.. removed it?”

Collei finally lets go of the hug. “I was s-so scared I was going to—to lose you!” Tighnari grabs a few tissues from his bedside to give to Collei. “Why did—didn’t you tell a-anyone?”

Tighnari didn’t answer. He just stares at his hands, numb. “I don’t.. know.” Tighnari presses his palms to his face, rubbing at his eyes until he saw stars. “Has Cyno showed up since?”

“Not at all.” Aether shakes his head, arms crossed over his chest.

“The doctor explained to me what Hanahaki Disease was,” Collei says quietly. Her fists clench on her lap. “The General Mahamatra could’ve killed you by rejecting you.” Collei is bitter, her words stung like venom.

“I can’t force him to like me.” Tighnari shakes his head. “That means you have no reason to hate him. Things happen against us whether we like it or not.” Speaking about Cyno does nothing to his heart. His feelings really are gone, huh?

Collei looks as if she wants to say something but keeps her mouth shut. She hesitantly nods in agreement, though it looks as if she is still unhappy. Tighnari holds her hand, reassuring her that he really is okay. Aether stands and announces that he’ll be leaving to give them some time. He wishes him well, and Tighnari waves the traveler and Paimon goodbye. Collei licks her lips and looks up at her teacher.

“I knew,” she whispers. “I knew you had feelings for him, but I didn’t want to say anything.”

“Was I obvious?” Tighnari chuckles nervously.

“You don’t look at him like you do with everyone else. You laughed at his jokes despite them being unfunny—oh, I’m glad he’s not here to hear that.” Collei laughs a little, scratching her neck anxiously.

Tighnari looks at his palms, “I’ve been caught red-handed. Guilty.”

There’s a moment of silence before Collei speaks up again, “Do you.. know who he likes?”

“He never told me. After he rejected me, I passed out a couple minutes later from the disease.” Tighnari fixes his pillows and leans back since his chest was beginning to ache. “I don’t think I would even want to know.”

“Are your feelings really gone?”

Tighnari lays there, staring at the ceiling as he searches for something—anything. But nothing comes up. “Yes.” He’s not sad, however. It’s a breath of fresh air. Collei hesitantly goes to hold Tighnari’s hand and lays her head on the bed.

“I’m just glad that you’re still alive.” He may be alive, but is he happy? Tighnari just feels absolutely numb.

It’s been two years since then. Cyno hasn’t shown his face, and it does end up making Tighnari feel bad. Did he chase him away? Is he the reason Cyno never visits Collei anymore? Why did Cyno disappear physically but still send over sweets?

Tighnari always hands them off to Collei or the other forest rangers. He hasn’t had a single chocolate covered date since then.

As Tighnari wanders the forest in search of some resources for Collei’s medication, he hears a familiar rustle and quiet footsteps. He stands straight, his ear twitching before turning to face the one person he thought he’d never see again.

“Look who decided to show up.” Tighnari smiles, hands on his hips. “I’ve been wondering where you were.”

“You’re not mad?”

Tighnari shakes his head. “I have no reason to be. Although, I feel like Collei would be upset seeing you. Mind telling me why you went cold?”

Cyno lowers his hood; his hair is longer now, but he still looks the same as Tighnari remembers. “I thought you would hate me for.. yeah.”

“Hate you?” Tighnari laughs. “I have no reason to hate you. You must be tired from your trip, let me fix you some tea—”

“I don’t think I should stay,” Cyno cuts him off. “I hurt you, almost killed you—why are you being so hospitable?”

“You’re my friend.” Tighnari shrugs. “I won’t force you to stay, though. You can go if you really want to.”

Cyno stands there, dumbstruck. “Are you feeling alright?”

“I don’t have a fever.” Tighnari furrows his eyebrows. “Although, I was sneezing up a storm earlier. Maybe those were just allergies.”

“You don’t…” Cyno doesn’t finish his sentence, but Tighnari knows what he’s implying.

“Those are long gone, Cyno. Removed during surgery. I’m not going to throw up some meaningless flowers anymore.” Tighnari turns and looks up at the night sky, the moon shining through the leaves. “I made my peace. I’m happy now, so you shouldn’t have to worry about any of that.” Tighnari looks back at Cyno who gives him a small smile.

“I’ll stay for tea.” Tighnari gives him a smile in return, and they make their way to Tighnari’s home. They speak like old friends and catch up. The person Cyno was seeking to court was a beautiful dancer from Sumeru known as Nilou. Tighnari had heard of her name many times before. He doesn’t bring up the fact he hasn’t seen him in two years, Tighnari doesn’t want to guilt him. He’s just happy to see a friend.

Collei is by the door, listening and making sure that her teacher wasn’t crying or sounding sad. She dismisses all negative emotions because Tighnari is happy, so that means he isn’t affected by Cyno’s presence. The girl heads off quietly, going back to her own home for the night.

And when Cyno leaves, Tighnari feels a weight off his shoulders. They reconciled. He doesn’t know when Cyno will return, but he feels as if it won’t be anytime soon. Still, he feels free—unbound from chains of romance. Tighnari lays in bed that night and sleeps with a new form of peace lingering in the air.

#cynari #cyno and tighnari #cynonari #genshin impact #genshin fanfic #cyno #tighnari #angst with a happy ending #i guess its happy?#hanahaki disease #no beta we die like men

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mosylufanfic · 1 year

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5 Things That Remind Cassian He's Human (and one thing that makes him wish he wasn't)

Hi hello is time for more Sad Andor Reaction Fic? Yes I think yes

Spoilers for 1x11 I guess

5 Things That Remind Cassian He's Human (and one thing that makes him wish he wasn't)

1. Blankets

The Narkinian says to them, "You look like shit, humans. Six hours to Niamos. Get some sleep." And he tosses them a couple of blankets.

For a moment Cassian doesn't know what to do with his. It hasn't been that long, but for all that time, sleep has been a matter of lying down on a hard bench and closing his eyes.

"Kriff," Melshi mumbles, spreading the blanket over himself, pulling his ragged and filthy feet under its protection. "Kriff."

He curls into one of the tattered seats in the back of the quadjump, but just before he shuts his eyes, Cassian sees tears in them.

The blanket smells like old fish and it's riddled with holes, but it feels like the softest of feather pillows as Cassian wraps it around himself.

2. Food

When they wake, the Narkinians give them food, too. Some kind of dry biscuit. Stale and tough. Against all odds, it tastes like fish.

Melshi wolfs his biscuit and then has to lay down, holding his stomach and grimacing. Cassian eats his slowly and carefully, experiencing food with texture, weight, flavor. Even if all of them are bad.

His stomach cramps too, shocked by something different than bland mush delivered in a tube. His jaws ache from the action of chewing and his throat from the effort of swallowing, but he welcomes all of it.

3. Clothes

The Narkinians drop down just outside of town and let them off with some farewell in their own language that could be "now get out of our sight" or "blessings upon you, strangers." It's hard to tell.

It's not a far walk, and as they get further into the chilly and deserted town, it's obvious this is the off-season for Niamos. Cassian struggles with whether this is good or bad, but ultimately decides that it is what it is.

They steal some clothes off a line, tearing the flimsy, grimy, stained clothes from Narkina 5 off their body and chucking them into the sea. The new clothes are damp from washing and don't fit quite right, but they're better than the prison clothes, and less noticeable.

After he retrieves his money, they head out to get real clothes, ones that fit, from one of the hundreds of second-hand stalls around town, where gamblers down to their last chit trade in their extra clothes for a few more credits.

Unimpressed with the selection at their first stop, Melshi moves on to the next stall down the street, but Cassian picks through the racks until he finds things that suit him.

The being running the stall gives him a bored look when he sets down pants, shoes, vest, shirt, belt, bag. "Fifty credits."

He almost hands it over, but even in a tourist trap like Niamos, that's too much for Maarva Andor's son to stomach. "For this shit? Ten."

"You picked it out, my fine son. Fine, I'll do you forty-five. Those shoes are in perfect condition."

"These shoes are older than I am," Cassian says. "Fifteen."

"Forty if you really feel like robbing a poor old shopkeep today."

He snorts. "Twenty-five and that's my final offer."

"You want the shirt off my back too?" They slap down his change and wave him away.

There's something about the exchange that makes him intensely happy.

He puts on the shoes immediately, barely pausing to brush sand and dirt from his filthy feet. He'll have to take them off when they find someplace to clean up. He put them on anyway.

They feel strange. Tight in some places, loose in others, and the insoles rubbing at his feet.

He stomps gently on the sidewalk and listens to the thud, and doesn't feel cold metal. Just the thickness of the soles.

When he meets up with Melshi, the other man has put on shoes, too.

4. Privacy

There are beach showers, five minutes for a credit. They're supposed to get sand and salt off your skin. Cassian stands under the spray, face tilted into the water, and feels the walls around him. Just him. Not forty-nine other men standing beside and in front and behind.

The water shuts off and he stands considering whether he wants to give up another credit for more. He decides yes, and plugs it into the slot to get the water running again. He has no washcloth and no soap, but he uses his hands to scrub at the filthiest parts of his body.

He imagines his mother's voice, fond and scolding. Look at the state of you! Something hot burns at the corners of his eyes.

He rarely allowed himself to think of her in prison, just like he rarely allowed himself to think of anything else outside the walls. Thinking of her now feels like a luxury on par with ragged blankets and second-hand clothes and cheap beach showers.

5. Names

"I need to make a call," he says to Melshi almost as soon as he walks out of the shower, his still-damp hair plucked by the wind, chilling his scalp.

Melshi looks skeptical. "Sure that's the best idea?"

"I'll be careful. It'll be fine. I just - there's someone I need to talk - to get a message to. There's public comms up there." He jerks his chin. "Watch my back, would you?"

Melshi shakes his head, clearly still in doubt, but humors him.

Hearing anyone's voice from Ferrix, even Xan's, makes his throat knot up. He whispers to disguise his voice and also because the knot is so big he can't speak any louder.

"Cassian?"

His name. His own name. The skin of Keef Girgo, tourist and convict and prisoner, falls further behind.

"No names," he said, not entirely meaning it, but trying to remember that he had to be careful. "Tell Maarva I'm okay. Tell her I'm thinking about her. She'd be proud of me."

He wants to tell the whole thing. Kino echoing his own words back to him over the intercom, the yells of the men breaking out, the thunder of bare feet on metal decks and the Imperials with their hands on their heads.

He wants to tell his mother that he’d changed his mind, after arguing with her that rebellion was stupid and would get them killed and that she should come with him. And she turned him down.

He wants to tell his mother he rebelled.

But they don't have the time and he doesn't particularly want Xan to know first because he'd tell the whole town, and his mother should hear it first. So he finishes up, "Tell her I'm thinking about her. And that I'll get back as soon as I can. Can you remember that?"

"Cass, hang on," Xan says, his voice weirdly solemn.

He can't hang on, he doesn't have the time, Xan just needs to pass on the message -

"Cass, I'm sorry. Your mother's dead."

+1. Grief

It's like a stone dropped from high up, crashing through the top of his head, slamming all the way through to the bottom of his feet, leaving him shredded in between.

He barely understands the rest of the conversation - she wasn't taking her medicine, her heart gave out, the Daughters are looking after her, funeral's tomorrow, I'm sorry, Cass, I'm sorry.

He ends the call and stands hanging on to the public comm booth, the wind off the sea battering at him, howling in his ears, until he feels like he's going to tip over onto his face.

When did it happen? When he was asleep? When he was working away at one of the endless pieces of machinery? When he was sitting in that hallway watching Ulaf's body cool? When he was holding a gun to the guards' heads? When he was crashing into the bitter cold water and swimming for shore?

Did it matter?

Your mother's dead.

For one long frozen moment, he wants to be back in prison, locked away from everything, told what to do and when to do it, a mindless drone with no heart to break.

He should have known. He should have felt something. Don't you feel a punch to the ribs? Don't you feel a tooth breaking out of your mouth? But he'd felt nothing.

He should be used to this. He’s lost three parents already. But he isn’t.

One step, two, the shock of his shoes hitting concrete rattling up through his body. He lurches from foot to foot, not walking so much as catching himself from falling, over and over again.

"You got through?" Melshi asks him. "It's okay?"

He looks away, to the sea, lying on instinct. "Yeah, yeah. Everything okay."

Melshi says some more things, but they disintegrate into buzzing in his ears. He tries to think of his mother, in her bed maybe, eyes closed, face slack, heart still. Some of the Daughters washing her body. Sewing her into her shroud. Riding away from the house on the salvage loader, decked with what withered greenery Ferrix could offer this time of year, that he’d seen carry so many other shrouded bodies. Her friends and neighbors pausing in their work to witness her passage, faces solemn, hands folded. Her son not among them.

It wouldn't go. The holo in his head wouldn't run.

How could Maarva Andor be gone?

"How many made it out alive?" Melshi asks him.

And before he forces himself to remember what they've been through, and what they'd talked about in the long walk into town, Cassian lets himself fall into the thought: Nobody.

Nobody makes it out alive.

Isn't that the way life works?

FINIS

#Cassian Andor #mosylufanfic lives up to her damn name #NaNo stories #spoilers for 1x11 #andor #star wars

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lucifersresources · 2 years

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yungblud // self titled album rp meme.

edit/alter/change pronouns etc as you see fit!

the funeral.

i can’t leave my bed but i can’t sleep.

i smoke too much till i can’t breathe.

i’m emotional, i’ll always be.

i hate myself.

i hate myself, but that’s alright.

i love myself, but that’s alright.

i tell myself that it’s alright that i dream about the day i die.

there’s no one to blame.

i’ve been dancing at my funeral, waiting for you to arrive.

i was hoping you’d look beautiful.

i want a real fake smile but i hate my teeth.

i want to tell you that i love you, but i just can’t speak.

do you hate yourself?

do you love yourself?

i wanna prove my love before i leave.

i wanna make you come and scrape my knees.

want you to bite my tongue until i bleed.

we all hate ourselves, well that’s alright.

tissues.

i feel left out.

i feel let down.

don’t you feel my heart go?

everybody wants to feel love.

everybody wants to be adored.

i can’t keep holding my breath.

god forbid you leave me like all the rest did.

i’m in love again.

tomorrow i’ll be sad again.

i can handle the truth.

i don’t want you to hide your issues.

tell me you love me.

memories.

i wish i could just let go.

every time i fall asleep, i know i’ll wake up alone.

dreams of you wrap around my throat.

i think i’m gonna choke.

when i said forever, i meant forever.

i wish i could just let go of the memories.

i always thought i would make it right.

now i’m stuck inside this shame instead.

when my heart breaks just a little bit i wanna drop dead.

i bury all the tragedy with sand.

cruel kids.

slow dance with me in traffic.

i’d crash my automatic to spend time with you.

i took too many drugs tonight.

now i can’t hold myself upright.

i know that you’ll be somewhere out there, suffering too.

don’t leave me alone.

don’t leave me alone, coz i won’t survive it.

i know i don’t wanna do what the cruel kids do.

i’d rather burn alive.

i want a better life.

art is dead.

i’m guilty too.

mad.

i don’t think they understand.

i know that i’m goin’ mad.

all the colours start fading into white and black.

you hurt your heart.

‘it will be fine’ is a criminal lie.

outta your sight and outta your mind ain’t where i wanna sit down and reside.

all my life i’ve been so detached, unemotional.

i fight myself so i’m less alone.

i cry 2.

evidently damaged from your last relationship.

if you were sober, you wouldn’t call her a bitch.

patch up your loneliness.

i won’t tell if you don’t want me to.

let’s keep it between us.

i know you’re hurting.

i know you’re hurting, but i know you’re getting through.

it’s alright mate, i cry too.

sweet heroine.

they desert you in apathetic intervals.

i need someone.

i need someone who reminds me of sweet heroine.

i won’t fall in love.

i’m in control of it.

i must admit, it really twisted me up.

everything ain’t what it seems.

i need something to sew me up by the seams again.

sex not violence.

i’m a mess for your amusement.

i sit and cry in bed alone.

do you really know me at all?

i drown myself in aggravation.

tell me all the secrets you’ve been hiding.

wrap me up in new fixations.

it’s all about sex, not violence.

don’t go.

i guess we’re all out of time.

i don’t want you to go.

cursing your name like i’m better alone.

don’t ask me if i believe.

i can’t fucking handle you falling in love with me.

damage all around now, i guess it’s a part of me.

i could run away, but there’s nowhere i’d rather be.

so don’t go.

i can’t hear all about how i’m losing my glow.

don’t feel like feeling sad today.

why are we sitting in silence?

i been asking for some kind of guidance.

i think i’m too late and i’m sinking now.

i need somebody to pull me out.

i don’t wanna go out today.

don’t feel like feeling sad today.

i wanna be right here, right by your side.

better pull myself together.

the politician ain’t gonna help you.

gravity’s gonna bring you down.

die for a night.

pain is a language i can read.

i know it’ll come out eventually.

can you show signs of weakness asymptomatically?

all i want is a cigarette.

i always wonder what it would be like if i could die for a night.

would anyone mind it?

i don’t know what i’m talking about.

the boy in the black dress.

masculinity seems to hurt a lot.

you don’t want to lie.

you don’t want to lie anymore about things that make you sad.

he tried to be something that they all would adore.

they hate what he is.

they hate what he’s not.

hate is nothing new.

#lyric rp meme #lyrics rp meme #music rp meme #lyric sentence starters #music sentence starters #yungblud rp meme #yungblud lyric meme #rp memes #rp starters #rph #rp meme #roleplay meme #roleplay memes #roleplay starters #sentence starters #rp sentence starters

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hospitalterrorizer · 8 months

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diary2

today we did errands and i did hate it like i thought. i don't know why i hate it so much. like okay hate it's too strong a way to put it but it wigs me out totally.

i guess probably, i hate going outside lately, and partly being around my gf and her mom puts me on edge, they're both anxious people who dawdle or i feel like they dawdle and i just want to go back home because it's hot out because we live in the dumbest desert ever and even if they're both having a good time basically it's made up of 100 mini arguments that no one has any stake in until one of the decides that something was really actually transgressed and that makes me feel catty and irritable but also i'm stupid and lazy, or i don't know. i feel kind of like i have to do most of the important stuff, but what is that really, that's not true, i just watch the laundry in the laundromat, i sit and listen to orchid, i feel people stare at me and then i watch my girlfriend fold the laundry because she doesn't like/need my help, and then we go to the store and she wanders around, she used to be a lot worse, and she also randomly decides rather than having us go look for something in the direction we're going maybe she should ask her mom to do that, and then get disappointed with what her mom brings her, so we go look. i don't know. it's annoying, is all, and i feel bad about that because it's so dumb to be annoyed, it should be funny it feels like but it makes me a little miserable to be dragged around places that make me feel totally dirty to be inside of, like, have you looked at the floors of every super market/market/wherever you buy your vegetables like god it's so gross and i'm transfixed by that because i'm like, also that gross too basically, right.

or i think that way a little. otherwise today was fine except for i came home and went crazy. when i go crazy i just say the same thing over and over, and i don't know why, it's not mean stuff it's just all stupid, i feel a clot in my throat talking about it/typing it, because like, what is it, i'm always convinced i know exactly what i'm saying when i'm saying it, but i can hardly remember, and like, there's almost no intention, i just start doing things and i can't help it, i just do it. when i'm super stressed i guess i just become way stupid.

definitely.

n e wayzzz, yesterday i think i fucked up a number, it wasn't 22 i stopped crying right, it was earlier, like, 21-20-ish probably. i don't know why correcting that feels so important. it makes me look way more pathetic, which is fine, i've made peace with that. everything that's ever happened to me means way too much for way too long. i don't think i hold grudges, at least.

last night i saw this print in the towel from last time i wore makeup, it happens every time so next time, which will be soon cuz i'll put makeup on when i go see melt banana cuz i want to serve cunt i guess, anyways it was my eyes closed drawn w/ mascara, when i washed my face and i couldn't get all the stuff off my face because i'm really lazy with the micellar pads or actually it's mostly because i like waking up and seeing some on my face still. i think it's actually when eyeliner looks best on me.

that's like, true.

tomorrow is gonna be weird because i have to meet with someone for semi-professional reasons after not having a job forever because i'm honestly terrible at being employed and it makes wanna die, but this is me probably getting paid to make music for someone's movie, and he likes a demo i did for him so that's #cool right. it's scary because i don't know what he'll say and how much he'll want from me, and i'm scared about not being perfect at it, and i'm scared it'll sap my ability to make what i normally make anyways but that fear is really stupid. if anything i think it'd make me want to go the other direction more, right.

i did work on music today but no vox, i just took some drums off grid on a song, which is fun, or not really but it's rewarding to go through and think about how another human would be dealing with a song/interpreting it in a live way almost, but the hits being so clearly from a drum machine of some kind, it makes it a little uncanny.

tomorrow i need to wake up early, so i can warm up and do some vocals somewhere, probably work on the song that i want to be another single a little bit, some parts need a little improvement i feel like. i didn't listen to the songs i did yesterday yet, too freaked out i guess.

today i ate, like, i forgot what i started with. i woke up in pain, my stomach was a gravity pit and it made getting up hard, i was just falling into myself and my body was distantly sore, i woke up, and i took too long in the shower so my gf's mom got here while i was drying my hair which probably is part of what put me in a stressed out place today already. anyways i think the first thing i ate after 2-3 hours of being awake was chicken tenders. i'm not saying where from because it makes me feel sort of ridiculous i guess, i dunno why. i should just say because it is ridiculous and it's really funny, for some reason shaq owns some kind of chicken chain, and we ate it today. it's fine, i like the french fries, they're crazy thin and i think i can still taste the salt at the back of my throat. we ate in the car because laundry had to happen. i didn't have water so i was dying a little bit. i have water now which is nice. uhhhhhhhhhhhh

trying to think, the next time i ate was at home, i ate a cinnamon roll that i think my girlfriend wanted but also doesn't care about too much and a blueberry muffin. i keep saying i'm going to eat the other one because it makes me look psycho, which is funny i think. what else.

in the shower, today, i thought about living with my aunt a lot, i hope my cousin who moved out around the same time i was moving out of there is well, i hope my cousin who moved in as i moved in there and is presumably still there, there being vague because maybe my aunt moved and took her kid with her, is doing better than he was, but i don't know. i sort of developed the fear that he maybe did something awful, i don't know why he would though.

makes me think about my other cousins, on my dad's side. they both turned out to have awful lives, they were normal for a while until they were adults, and switches came on in their heads maybe, around the same time each were arrested for domestic violence, both in jail. i remember vividly the time one picked up their cat and threw her in the pool and we three watched her run out, long hair all wet, she looked like a rat from a sewer. they were in highschool, i was way younger. another time, one showed me a glass bluebird, translucent, he talked about how it represented jesus, and then in that same stretch of time, i played ocarina of time on their n64.

i also ate some pretzel rods, i forgot, they were from the 99 cent store, i tried to get some in the smiths but my gf said: i got those exact ones in the 99 cent store. and then her mom showed up and she told that to her mom twice because her mom was not listening at all the first time.

friday we are seeing melt banana which i am excited about but i am not excited about hanging out downtown potentially cuz it's so fucking windy in the summer i don't want to have my bangs get fucked up in the wind that's so annoyinggg and also last time we were there i became inconsolable because i tried a dress on and it didn't fit and i was unhappy for at least 2 days. i think i sound really unfun in these posts. whatever.

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companionwolf · 11 months

Text

Toy Soldiers Ch 9

Commander, Commander, wake up!

The human groans, sits up, blinking blearily. Their head throbs -- the movements send it aching harder, and they sink back into the couch.

The toy's are positioned on the cushion next to them, obscured by a couple of bottles. As they try again to get into a seated position, they knock more bottles off the couch onto the floor, which clatter against far still more. They wearily do a double take.

"Oh, fuck, that was a lot," they mumble.

I've never seen you drink to black out before, says Central, voice tinged with worry.

They drag their hands down their face. "I wanted to work on the dollhouse today but if I move I think my brain will explode."

Get these bottles off of the couch and lie back down, says Shen.

The Commander sweeps the rest of the bottles off the cushions to the floor, and then flops down, shading their eyes from the noon sun. They reach over with their other hand and pick up the toys, placing the two on their chest.

Won't do that again, will you?

They hesitate to answer her.

Sure, they feel like shit but hey don't remember nightmares, don't remember dreaming at all. It's nice.

"I think," they say, "I have a problem."

Yeah, says Central. He sounds sad.

"Nothing to do about it, though," they say, closing their eyes. "It's fine."

It is not fine, says Shen. Central transmits wordless agreement. The Commander groans again softly.

I think you need human interaction, says Central.

"I think I need a grave," they answer.

Weren't you going to help those Reapers?

"Urgh, do you have to bring that up?"

I think it would do you good, Central goes on. We could go with you.

"Yeah, okay," they sigh. "Only if you two are there. What did they want me to do again?"

Mediate a meeting between the Reapers and these ADVENT deserters, Shen says.

The Commander groans a third time.

"Couldn't be something easy, could it? No, fuck me," they mumble.

Can you do it? Without Asaru?

"Sure I can," they say. "I didn't get where I am just because of Asaru. We complimented each other, but both of us are-- were damn good tacticians already in our own rights."

The Commander frowns. "I just don't want to do it," they say after a stretch of silence. "I don't want anything to do with the resistance. I like what I have and getting involved…"

Might take it away, Shen finishes.

"Don't say it out loud!"

Superstitious? Central asks.

"No, just…" They pause. "I don't want to lose this."

Drinking yourself silly and being so bowled over the next day you can't do shit?

The Commander drops their head back against the couch cushions. "You know what I mean," they say.

You go, you help make sure they don't kill each, you leave, Central continues. In and out, easy.

"I guess," they say, shoulders sagging. "It'll be weird without Asaru. Been with him so long the idea is almost ridiculous..."

Could we look for him?

The Commander raises an eyebrow.

For Asaru, Shen elaborates. We don't know for sure if he's dead.

"I…hadn't thought of that," they say sheepishly. "I just kind of assumed that they killed him or assimilated him or--"

We have got to try, then. You owe it to him-- and to yourself, give him what you didn't get. Central's voice is intense as he adds, you both deserve someone to have tried.

The Commander swallows hard against the lump in their throat. "OK, say we do this," they say. "I think the first problem is I don't know where they were holding me. Otherwise I'd try to get in there first to look."

Let's ask around when we go to the peace talks, says Shen. If not about Asaru directly, about the Elders.

They nod. "Right, okay. Figure out if he's even…if there's any chance of recovering him, then figure out where he is and how to get to him."

It's more a plan than we had a few minutes ago, Central says.

The Commander wraps a hand around both toys, holds them closer, and lies there like that for a while. Then they sit up, tuck the two into their pockets, get up and stumble into the kitchen.

They get a small serving of soup and sit on the floor to eat, a pot of water boiling while they do so, them leaving the toys and the bowl on the counter when they're done.

They duck into the rudimentary bathroom, bathing in the potted water that's lukewarm but not as cold as the well would be. They pause in front of the mirror, gaze back at their reflection-- tired eyes, skinny frame, short hair.

Commander? calls Central.

"Coming," they answer, returning the pot to their cabinets and putting the toys back in their respective pant pockets as they clean up the living room of bottles.

What do we do first? asks Shen.

"I need to go practice with my shotgun," they say. "And my Psionics." They cringe. "God, both of those are gonna make me ache…"

Let's take care of the garden instead, says Central. And show Shen the dollhouse sketches. She'll probably have some ideas for it.

Yeah, I want to see it!

"Alright, I'll show you," they murmur, trudging up the stairs to the salvaged desk in the corner of their bedroom.

The Commander opens a large sketchbook, flips to the most recent page. Sketches of a multiple story miniature house meet their gaze-- they pull out the toys and turn them so they're looking down at the drawings. "What do you think?"

Needs a light source, says Shen after a moment. If that's possible.

"For you two, anything," they say.

Corny, says Central. He's laughing.

The Commander sits in that sound for a second, letting it wrap around them like a blanket. It's warm. Kind.

I think you could also add some more support for the upper levels, Shen goes on, snapping them from their reverie.

They nod at her. "Duly noted," they answer as they shut the sketchbook and head downstairs, grabbing the gardening tools by the front door. By the time the sun sets, they have tended to the growing vegetables and harvested a few bundles of produce, and as they stand in the kitchen making more soup, they realize their headache has lifted.

For the most part, anyway.

Tomorrow you should do your training, says Central.

They nod absently as they chop carrots. "I'll have to make some kind of shooting range, for target practice, but that shouldn't be too hard," they say, jerking their head at the pile of bottles in the trash can.

No more of that, says Central.

"One can't hurt," they say, pausing to grab a bottle. They blink as they look down into the cooler and find none left. "Oh. Oh. Okay. Maybe not then."

Central transmits worry; Shen a shaking head.

"It'll be fine," they say, turning back to the soup. "It's not -- it's not a real problem."

Why, because it's you?

The Commander frowns. "I wouldn't say that--"

You just seem the type to think that, says Shen. Given that you think you should have died, this makes sense to be in your wheelhouse too. Just saying.

They stir the soup, not answering for a while. Then: "You're probably right, all things considered."

There's a sense of Central prodding at them. "What?" they ask.

Hold my hand, he says.

They blink at the forward request. "Okay," they say, sliding one hand into the pocket, nestling a finger in his plastic hand. "Why did you ask?"

You seem calmer when you do this, he says. And I wanted to help.

"Oh," they say. Their insides twist. "Thanks."

Shen laughs. You two are pretty cute together, she says.

The Commander flushes red. "It's not like that!" they say, way too quickly.

They're my human, says Central. I offered to be a comfort once, and that offer still stands.

Shen transmits the sense of her shaking her head again, but in an amused way. Sure, okay, she says.

The Commander tries to return to working on the soup, but Shen's words echo echo echo.

You two are pretty cute together.

They want to hide their face in their hands. Are they that obvious? If she can see it, he must too…

It's fine, they think. It's fine. I'm just enamored because I'm lonely and he's like that because he's a toy.

And yet.

You two are pretty cute together.

God, the Commander wants that more than anything-- together.

But it can't happen. Humans don't do that. Toys don't. It just…isn't a thing.

…could they make it a thing?

The Commander realizes, quite suddenly, that God, they want to try.

#wolf barking #tailstrokes #toy soldiers fic

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blarghsandblurbs · 2 years

Text

Like waking from a hazy dream, a state of misery I can’t seem to wake from- self destructive tendencies ever so clear when I am able to see clearly. Rip off this flesh and replace it with something new; turn me inside out as I disassociate. Step in my pile of piss you nasty thing and when I ask what’s wrong with me

“Apparently you’ve never been able to connect with someone properly, that’s the key. How do you ask for help when you’ve been left alone to take care of everything?”

And she’s lost her mind

I did, where is it? This dream of the past I’ve been struggling to break when all I can see is my memories as a reality I can’t leave… a glass house threatened to be broken by stones. Crash through the glass by those who judge and why care anymore? Lucifer and Jesus has a verbal sparring match 40 days in the desert

30 years plus being the best of the best and worst of the worst and I just don’t care

Love me, hate me, is all the same

Plug in my headphones and ignore the games. Feel slighted, feel fooled—I told the truth

It’s my turn to resent you. Like it could be helped anyway. I’m the one strung up by damage having to find my way out and though the anger is useless… I don’t care. It gives reason to my pain so I won’t pretend to be a big girl now.

I can’t forgive you this time until I grieve you right. Uninterested and damaged in human connections, lying to myself that I don’t need it, desperate to be recognized and running away from the loneliness.

“I’m okay, I’m okay” the mantra I’m left with.

I’m confused

Blow it up, when did it matter. Why did you make so much sense today?

“It’s the people with a lot of trauma that seem fine that really aren’t all right”

No one believed me. No one heard me.

Alone

All my reasons gathered back up and understood, validated and grieving how I was let down.

Don’t leave me, please

I’m exhausted, I want to sleep

What is it like to actually live?

I don’t know anymore

I’m tired

So tired

There’s more tears in my soul than is worthy. I want to stop crying but it’s caught in my throat. I can’t deny them anymore

So please, hear me this time

Maybe I can find salvation this time- a miracle

“But you’re the miracle here”

How can I find peace in those words? I believe you believe it.

How can I be such a damaged gift? And give you the answers and guide you to light as I fall down further, clawing my way out of the pits of this hell?

Dante really did not lie about this place.

But I’m a liar

I did lose my mind

Someplace special, different and faraway

Grippy sick vacation? Please, may be the best idea. I give up on all you all. I loved you

#SoundCloud

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embrassemoi · 3 years

Text

je te laisserai des mots

Regulus Arcturus Black managed to die twice within the span of five hours.

MASTERPOST | NAVIGATION | AO3 | Inspired by THIS!

PAIRING: Regulus Black x Fem!Reader

CONTENT: Angst, death, canon typical violence, panic attacks, TW: implied self harm - not explicit

WORD COUNT: 2.1k

Was it possible to drown on dry land?

It was a phrase that echoed through the depths of Regulus’ mind often these days. A deep regret latched itself onto every waking moment, piling onto his consciousness for years that caused a dull ache to explode agonizingly slow in his chest.

Love, or in this case, heartbreak, was the root of Regulus’ drowning — his suffocation that collapsed his oxygen-deprived mind, burning like hot molten lava in his throat; filling his lungs with an invisible weight that sunk him further into the depths of a sea. It managed to crash through the windows of his room in a deserted 12 Grimmauld Place.

His vision blurred, eyes skittering away from her as her voice, similar to sound waves, travelled fast, rippling from all directions like raindrops hitting the surface of a pond.

A storm. A warning. Gentle until it’s not.

It clawed, bit and tore his heart while Regulus reached up to shakily adjust the tie wrapped around his neck. Despite it being loosely worn, it choked him, feeling too restrictive as deep panic immersed into his bones. He couldn’t breathe.

“...I’m sorry,” he forced out flatly, attempting to keep his face straight with a steel mask. Despite his wide knowledge of French and English, thousands of words died on his tongue.

“Did you… did you kill someone today?” She stammered, voice so pained, instilled with fear that it made him flinch. “Did you watch someone die?!”

He shook his head. “No —”

“Then tell me why you want to break up? We were fine yesterday!”

Because I need you safe, Regulus screams internally.

“Maybe we can work this out,” she pleaded, her hand grabbing his arm. “W-we can — if it’s Voldemort we can figure something, anything, out. If we run away — we can leave and —”

Regulus’ brows furrowed, pulling into a tight line.

She always had to make it so hard.

“I don’t love you anymore.” A lie.

Lie.

A fucking lie.

The look on her face made it all the much harder. He could’ve wept then, even starting to feel himself tremble; sharp stabbing sensations shredded the skin of his chest, cutting deep into his heart.

“You don’t mean that,” she scoffed, voice incredulous.

“I do,” he snapped, adding to the wounds. “I never have. You’ve been nothing more than a distraction. A toy.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I’m devoting myself to the Dark Lord. You’ve never been part of my plan.”

Lie. Lie. Lie.

“Regulus please just listen —” “He needs me.”

“You’re nothing more than his puppet!”

“You don’t understand.”

“No! You don’t understand! I need you more than he does!”

“Are you daft?” Regulus forces his voice to drop to a venomous tone, but a waver gives him away and he can only pray that with the overwhelming tears spilling across her cheeks and harsh wind whipping outside, that she doesn’t notice. “I don’t want you here. I don’t love you. I’m done. I’ve chosen my side.”

He kept his gaze low, focusing on his shoes.

He’s already taken too much but he’s reached his limit: he will not drag her down any more than he already has. The least he can do is protect the person he loves most. Even if it was from himself.

Inner voices screeched in his ear, tears flowing down his face as he cried silently.

He hears her footsteps, shoes coming into view and refuses to meet her pinning gaze while she shoves him, again and again. Her fist curls into balls, pounding on his chest to get any reaction; even shaking the sides of his arms for a response.

Stupidly, Regulus can’t help but lean forward, pulling her against his body. His faze nuzzles into the side of her neck, inhaling her faint perfume, listening to her sniffling, feeling her tremble from his touch.

But her usual warm embrace never felt so cold.

“Je t'aimerai jusqu'à mon dernier souffle,” he whispered, knowing she wouldn’t understand — only to hope foolishly that one day, far from then, she would.

It’s only when touching him must’ve grown to be revolting, had her fist uncurling, staggering back.

Any fight within her dissipated. Dead and gone and past.

Wordlessly, she slipped out her wand and with a swish, she apparated. Gone.

Regulus didn’t look up — couldn’t look up as he caught the death mark on his arm.

It mocked him, laughed at him, stripping him of any morals or love he had, marked permanently with hate and death.

Bile rushed to his throat, panic returning full force. His fingers grazed over the thick black lines until clawing at his arm till raw.

Off. He wanted it off.

Hours he cried, letting sobs wretch his body, throat burning until he had nothing left in him.

Heartbreak was grief that hit in waves. It was gruelling, stealing sleep and appetite alike. Fragments of metaphorical glass seemed to pierce his skin and shorten circuits in his mind. An emptiness swelled, vying through the echoes of lingering love.

A knock sounded at his door that made Regulus immediately quiet, wiping his puffy eyes. Kreacher came in, looking worse than he felt.

“He-llo,” Regulus sniffled. Through the blur, he observed the house-elf, who he thought, looked worse than what he felt. He hadn’t seen him in days since the Dark Lord had borrowed him.

“Master Black,” he croaked. With a few steps, he crashed to the floor. Regulus pushed himself up from his bed, rushing over to Kreacher, scooping him up.

“Kreacher?!” He yelled. “Kreacher! Merlin, what happened?”

“The Dark Lord has done something terrible to Kreacher.”

────── 〔☆〕──────

Call him dramatic, but if Regulus had a high probability of dying a noble death by destroying a Horcrux, he was going to have one last grand meal, listen to music he liked and wore clothes that were worthy of dying in.

He wore his finest suit as he scribbled on pieces of parchment, writing a letter.

With the crinkling of paper, he balled the letter, throwing it into the bin across the room already filled with a dozen other crumpeted sheets of parchment.

Starting a new letter, a fancy scrawl from black ink glided across the note. He re-read it several times, happy with the final result.

Two letters sat on his desk, one for the locket, the other for her.

“Is master Regulus sure he wants to go?” Kreacher asked. He’d spent the last three hours begging him not to go, to not be bloody fucking mental. But he didn’t listen. He couldn’t.

“I’m positive.”

“Is master ready to leave?”

Regulus looked around his room: realizing it was nothing more than a cage for his parents to imprison him in.

“No. Not really,” he whispered, “But take me there.”

Holding Kreacher’s outstretched hand, Regulus felt as if he was suddenly being squeezed through a thick rubber tube; pressing his chest down and unable to draw breath. However, the invisible restraints burst free and he was left standing upon a tall rock, water crashing and churning below.

The sky was blanketed by a thick sky full of stars as Kreacher let go. The smell of salt and sea breeze tossed through his hair as he followed Kreacher to a tall cliff. The journey was slippery and cold. Regulus was left with an icy feeling and waterlogged clothes that weighed him down as he tried to steady himself on the slippery rocks.

Before descending back into the ominous cave in the cliff, Regulus stared out to the sea, observing the way the water danced and crashed, how the mist gently sprayed onto his face.

“Mr. Black,” the elf squawked, “Kreacher miscalculated and has to apparate again. Please take Kreacher’s hand.”

If home was where the heart is, Regulus knew he’d never make it home.

Turning to Kreacher, smiling sadly, he spoke. “Kreacher, you have to promise me something.”

“Of course. Anything to serve the most ancient and noble house of Black.”

“There is a good chance I will die in there.”

Kreacher nodded hesitantly. “Let Kreacher take you home, master Regulus.”

“No,” he stated firmly, although there was a small smile on his face — appreciative that he cared. “And if I die, I need you to take the locket and destroy it. With or without me.”

“Kreacher will do everything to protect Mr. Black.”

“Do you also remember Y/N? I wrote her a letter. It’s on my desk. If I die, you need to deliver it to her, but do not let her get close to that locket. You have to promise me.”

The house-elf gulped, lids fell in a sad expression but nodded. “Kreacher promises to deliver a letter and destroy the Horcrux in the event that Mr. Black dies.”

“There is also a separate letter addressed to Voldemort. I need you to place it in a replica of the locket. You need to make one.”

With that, Regulus took his hand once more and was apparated behind the solid cave wall.

They found themselves smacked in the middle of the dingy cave on an island, surrounded by a boundless expanse of black water.

He went over the house-elf’s words, how magic wouldn’t be able to help to retrieve the necklace as he peered at the stone basin, filled with a glowing emerald liquid.

Conjuring a goblet from a rock by the basin, Regulus’ eyes caught hold of Kreacher’s who nodded gravely.

He listened to him once more, before scooping up the emerald liquid.

“You’ll do everything to make sure I keep drinking this, right?” He asked.

“You have Kreacher’s word.”

Without hesitation, Regulus drank goblet after goblet. Excruciating pain rippled through his body until Kreacher began to force the goblet to his lips the moment he fell to his knees.

Once finished, Kreacher grabbed the golden locket and placed it over his neck.

But Regulus was far too gone to think properly. He managed to roll onto his stomach, nearing the lake as he lowered his face and drank from the cool water.

“NO!” Screamed Kreacher.

But it was too late as multiple white hands gripped Regulus’ wrist and dragged him into the lake. Hundreds of white heads emerged from the dark water.

Inferi. He recognized them from Defence Against the Dark arts.

And he knew he was fucked.

With every ounce of strength he had left, he uttered hexes and spells, one after the other but to no avail.

“GO! KREACHER!” He screamed to the poor elf who was now surrounded by hundreds of Inferi. “LEAVE! DESTROY THE LOCKET! MAKE A COPY! DO AS YOU PROMISED!”

Kreacher had tears streaming down his face.

“GO!” Regulus’ head was being pushed underwater as he fought to swim. “NOW! D-DON’T FORGET THE LETTER!”

With a crack, Kreacher had gone. And one last gulp of air, Regulus was plunged underneath the water, thousands of hands wrapped around his ankles, feet and hands.

He knew his fate. From the moment Sirius had left, decided to save his own life, Regulus knew the painful implications of his own. He just didn’t think it would end like how it did.

Darkness webbed his vision, making every shimmering bit of light look like stars and jewels.

After about a minute is when Regulus inhaled water, sputtering, coughing and inhaling more and more. A burning sensation tore through his chest, water flooding his airway.

But strangely, as he knew he was about to die, a sense of calmness and tranquillity washed over him.

Drowning always seemed more peaceful than burning to death; a lullaby, being cradled by the soothing waves that roped him in further as he stopped struggling, letting the Inferi drag him further into the bottomless lake.

The anxiety slipped away, no pain, no fear. Peace.

Before his world washed away with perpetual darkness, Regulus closed his eyes, imagining her face one last time; holding desperately onto the last bit of love he had ever known in his life.

Maybe it was the childish part of him, but Regulus realized just how pathetic, how hilarious he was for thinking people, much less someone like himself, deserved a happy ending as some sort of sick reward for having a terrible life.

As the remaining part of his soul was drained with water, sucked from his lungs, all he could do was hope to crave and live and love in his next life. More than ever did in this one.

Regulus Arcturus Black managed to die twice within the span of five hours.

And he kept his word, he had loved her until his dying breath.

PART TWO — en dessous de ta porte (coming soon)

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spicy-tomato · 3 years

Note

Can i pls req dream being reader's sugar daddy :O - 🌼

sorry this took a hot sec ive been working on this one for a while cause i really liked the idea, so here you go :)) it ended up being like 2k words so im sorry

You had it all, anything you could want and more. Wanted to go to rome? Done, your plane leaves tomorrow. Dream absolutely spoiled you and you couldnt be more happy about it. It started off as a thing to help you with rent, but the longer you did it the more you enjoyed being able to get what you wanted when you wanted. Today was your weekly lunch with dream, you had both agreed that at least once a week he would take time off to get lunch with you, it made you smile to see him take time for you. As the tease you were, you decided to wear something a little revealing to tease him since he had cancelled your shopping trip with him the day before. You put on a low cut crop top and some shorts that show a little too much before fixing your hair. You hear you phone ding, getting a text from dream,

Daddy dream <3

Hey baby, i'm out front whenever youre ready to go

You smile and put your phone in your pocket before walking out to his car and getting in. you kiss his cheek quickly “hi daddy” you giggle and smile at him

“Hi sweetheart” he looks you up and down before smirking “like the outfit, all for me?” you giggle and nod before he starts to drive to the restaurant, one hand on your thigh. “Do you know what you want? You know the rule, anything you want no matter the price. And after that we can go shopping to make up for my cancelling yesterday.” you smile at him

“I know, and we dont have to dream, we can just hang out. Its been a while since we did that. Maybe we can go somewhere for you to make it up to me instead” he smiles and squeezes your thigh as he pulls into the parking lot of the restaurant.

“Anywhere you want baby, only the best for you.” you look down and blush, moving over to lean your head on his shoulder as he moves a hand to pet your hair. “Ill take you anywhere anytime and get you anything you want.” you cant lie, at times you had thought about being more than just his sugar baby, having a real romantic relationship, but he was always so busy that it made it seem almost impossible. Sure he took time out to be with you but it was never a lot unless you were traveling. He didnt tell you a lot about his job either, just knew that he had a large following and that he didnt want anything serious and put his partner in a bad situation, but damn if you havent thought about him coming home to you and calling you his.

“Baby? You okay? You zoned out.” he waves a hand in front of your face and you blink back to reality.

“Yeah, sorry i just got a little distracted. Lets go get some food!” you pull away from him and he gets out, walking around to open your door for you and holds a hand out to help you. “Thank you” you smile and take his hand as you step out, he closes the door behind you and puts an arm around your waist, pulling you into his side as you both walk up to get a table. You get seated immediately and he pulls your chair out for you. “Is there a single flaw with you?” you ask genuinely, he just laughs and shakes his head.

“Theres a bunch you dont know about me, sweetheart.” you roll your eyes as the waitress comes back with your mimosa and his water, asking for your orders. He orders for you and him before she walks off to put them in. He always knows what you want and orders it for you. It makes you smile that he likes to take care of you. You shake that thought away and go back to mindlessly talking with him, waiting on the food. It comes shortly and you both start to eat. “Where do you want to go? Japan? Italy? Oh we havent been to paris in a while, maybe there.”

“I think paris would be great, its always so pretty this time of year, maybe we can have dinner on the eiffel tower again!” your eyes light up at the thought of going back to paris. Last time you went was last spring, you both walked around and had the most wonderful time people watching and shopping. You take another bite and he looks like hes about to say something before he stops himself and looks down. “What is it? Is something wrong?” you look at him concerned, scared you messed something up.

“Its nothing darling, dont worry.” you both finish up lunch and he pays before helping you up and leading you back to the car. “I have something id like to ask you when we get to paris if thats okay, its nothing bad i promise its just something ive been meaning to ask for a while is all.” you nod as he opens the door for you and helps you in. “now, a pretty girl like you needs pretty new clothes for the trip, lets go get you some.” he smiles at you as he gets in, resting a hand back on your thigh as he starts the car, leading you both to the mall.

You spend hours in there going to different stores and trying things on, him getting you whatever you wanted without any hesitation. You walk back to the car with armfulls of bags and a couple new suitcases. “Thank you so much daddy, youre the best.” you kiss his cheek and he turns a little red.

“Its no problem baby, why dont you stay over tonight and we can leave in the morning to head to the airport. I can help you pack and we can watch a movie.” you smiles and nod, putting your bags in the back of the car and your new suitcases in the trunk.

“Id like that…” you think for a second about how nice it would be to wake up next to him every day and how nice it is to fall asleep next to him when it happens, even if when you did wake up after he wasnt next to you. The cold bed always made you remember that you would never be more than this, not that this was bad in the least its just sometimes you wish you could be more. He drives you both back to his apartment building and helps you out, grabbing most of your bags, only leaving you to grab the suitcases as you enter the building. He lived on the top floor in the penthouse, expected for how much money he had. You set your stuff down in his room, your new clothes already laid out nicely thanks to him. He walks up behind you and hugs you from behind.

“Youll look so good in all of those baby, gonna be the prettiest one in paris.” he kisses your neck softly before pulling away and taking your hand, leading you to sit on the part of the bed not covered by clothes. “Let me go run you a bath and you can pick out a movie.” you nod and he walks to the bathroom, leaving you alone on the bed. You turn on the tv and start scrolling through netflix looking for a movie, finally deciding as he walks back in and picks you up. You giggle and wrap your arms around his neck, moving your head to rest on his chest as he carries you to the bathroom. He sets you on the counter and takes your shirt off carefully, leaving kisses down your neck and chest and he moves down to take your shorts off. You lift yourself gently to help him take your shorts off. He takes them off quickly before nipping and kissing your inner thighs, ghosting over your core. You whine and try to move closer to him before he presses your hips down into the counter.

“Stay still baby, dont wanna have to punish you. Daddy just wants his desert.” you nod quickly and stay still, his head diving to softly kiss your clit, causing you to whine. He chuckles and starts to slowly eat you out, almost at a teasing pace. You whine and grip the counter, trying to keep from pulling his hair. He pulls away and smiles, “good girl, being so good and not pulling my hair. Just letting daddy eat you up.” after he says that his hands move down to your thighs open as he starts to eat you out like a man starved. You let out a loud moan and throw your head back, your hands moving to his hair and tugging closer. At this point he didnt care about you pulling his hair, to blissed out by hearing your sweet moans and tasting you. Your cries became louder as he dragged you closer to the edge. as you were almost there he stopped, causing a loud whine from you as he moves up to face you. He looked like heaven like this, face covered in your slick with eyes dark from lust.

“Now my good little girl, i want you to get off the counter and bend over for daddy.” you quickly move off the counter and do as your told. “Such a perfect little girl, i want you to watch as i make you feel good, got it? You look away and i stop,” he chuckles and grabs your neck after you nod. His hand moves from your neck to your hair to hold you in place, making eye contact with him through the mirror.

“Such a precious little pet for me, arent you?” you whine as he lines up with your entrance, teasing you, causing you to press your hips back against him. He smacks your ass roughly and pulls you against his chest by your hair. “Thats not very nice bun, its almost like you want me to leave you all worked up.’’ he smirks at you before pulling you roughly back against him, ripping a scream from your throat. He sets a brutal pace, leaving no time for you to adjust to him. He keeps the pace, your legs starting to shake as he brings you back to the edge of your orgasm before quickly throwing you over it. You let out a cry of his name, trails of tears starting to run from your eyes as he keeps going.

“Pretty little bunny, always so good and tight for me. Gonna breed you so good. Fuck you until i know it takes.” he tugs your hair roughly and starts to bite and suck at your neck, leaving marks in his wake. You whine and cry, moving your hands to tug at his hair. “So close princess, gonna fill you up so good.” he moves a hand to your clit to punctuate his statement, causing a louder cry to come from you as you tip over the edge once again. His hips start to stutter as he fills you up, riding out his high with shallow thrusts letting out a few more quiet moans before pulling out of you carefully. You whine and tug at his hair as he does so. He picks you up carefully as he pulls away.

“i figured we could take a bath and then cuddle before we pack and figure out what time we should leave for the airport.” you nod and he carries you carefully over to the tub, setting you down carefully in it before getting and sitting behind you. He starts to wash your hair as you slowly drift off to sleep. You wake up briefly as he lifts you from the tub and carries you to the bed. He moves the blankets back and sets you down gently before crawling in next to you , pulling the blankets back over you.

“Be my partner,” he says as you turn towards him

“Only if we can still go to paris” you giggle and he nods, kissing the top of your head before you both drift off.

#dream smp x reader smut #dreamwastaken smut #dreamwastaken #dreamwastaken x reader #dream smp x reader #dream x reader smut #dreamwastaken x reader smut #dream x reader #dream smut #dream smp #dsmp smut #mcyt x reader smut #mcyt smut

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xxsycamore · 2 years

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Can i ask for jin x mc with the prompt for feb 12th, smut?

Writing for Jin is always a pleasure! Today is a special day because it's not only his birthday, but the day of his route release. Everyone planning to play it, I hope you have fun!

Happy Birthday, Jin Grandet!!!

Special Treatment [ Jin x MC SMUT ]

Rating: E

Word count: 1,101

Tags: Birthday Sex; Morning Sex; Blow Jobs; Breast Fucking; Dirty Talk; Facials

Check my masterlist here! You can also find all my works on AO3 under user xsycamore. In my profile you can find my Ko-fi if you would like to support me!

Part of Be my Valentine - a Valentine’s Day themed content creation challenge hosted by me and @chaosangel767

DAY 12 - "Waking up next to you is the best decision I've ever made."

Groaning, Jin tosses his head to the other side on the pillow.

Titillating stimulation slips into the concept of his dreams, leaving them to take an abrupt, erotic shift - blurring the margins of subconsciousness, as his senses awaken.

And a smile blooms on his face, low rumble coming from somewhere deep in his throat to indicate he is awake.

The few hours of sleep have never left him feeling so contradictory relaxed. The more things come into his vision, still marred with sleep, the more he remembers. Surfaces covered in desert plates and what reminds of the lavish supper they sneaked into their chambers past midnight. Empty bottles of expensive alcohol, his favorite, confetti and scattered articles of clothing. A gorgeous dress in navy blue that he had the honor of taking off her, ever so slowly…the memories of their private celebration are all very vivid.

MC looks up just in time to meet his caramel gaze catching hers, as sweet as what it resembles. She drags a long lick along the length of his half-hard cock, not breaking eye contact for even a second.

Jin cushions the back of his head with his arm, longing for that better angle. The heaviness of his eyelids betray him as he lets them rest, finding the feeling to be even stronger that way. MC's hot tongue feels like heaven on him, taking care of his cock so well and he can't help it but hiss in pleasure when she takes him into his mouth instead. It takes him no time to swell to full hardness with her treatment, almost pitying the way he barely fits in her mouth.

"Gods, waking up next to you is the best decision I've ever made."

He doesn't know if he should regret saying that, considering how any comment that has the potential to make her chuckle is another scandalous vibration directly against his cock.

Eager to respond, MC has to deprive him of the hot cavern of his mouth for the time being - with a look that promises to make up for it.

"This is how the birthday boy deserves to be waken up, no?"

Jin's gaze gets hazed by lust. He adores this woman. The one he gets to call his; the one who victoriously made her way into his heart just as easy as she made it into his bed - a woman to be loved again and again, and not just for the night. He wonders how comes he is deserving to be able to call her his lover.

Oh, but it never fails to take him aback when he notices traits of his own courage and perverse rubbing off on her…

He grips the back of her head, gently, eager to kiss her right this instant, and he groans with satisfaction as he feels her plush lips being the first to push against his. When his toned arms move to cradle her and move her where he wants her to be, she withdraws and shushes him.

"Let me spoil you a little bit before that."

Anticipation running through him by these words alone, Jin breathes out heavily as he is left to watch her descent on him again. Albeit the neglect not lasting much, his cock eagerly appreciates being touched again. MC lowers her mouth again on it, making sure to cover it thoroughly with saliva before withdrawing with a wet "pop" - only to, instead, put it right between her breasts.

Jin's breath hitches, the very tips of his fingers twitching and nails biting into the soft sheets. He watches hypnotized as MC pushes her breasts together, leaving his cock cushioned inbetween.

"Oh….oh, shit…"

Jin can't help the profanity escaping his lips, weak in front of what very well could be his biggest turn on. He absolutely adores her chest. Hasn't he spend hours admiring it to prove just that? It's one thing to be able to touch and lick her breasts however he likes - but, he never imagined for her to be the one who initiates this…

"You sure like this a lot, Jin… are you going to cum? I will need you nice and hard for me after this, you know… I will need you to fuck me."

"And you will get fucked, I promise you."

Despite the rush of pleasure each time MC rises and descents with her tits still pressed against his length, Jin manages to tie just another sentence together.

"You can't tire a beast so easily."

MC attempts another chuckle as if to hide the domineering sensation of absolute hunger dusting her cheeks in pink. She becomes braver with her ministrations, now giving it her all to take him to the depths of pleasure and see his cum slash across her chest triumphally. She sticks out her tongue, each thrust resulting in it meeting with the tip of Jin's cock, oversensitive and leaking precome.

More of his delicious, low groans reach to her ears, which she takes as little praises for her work - and so, she works harder.

Jin warns her with just one barely comprehensive string of words, lust-dazed eyes never leaving the sight of her as if wanting to burn it into his memory. He watches his painfully hard cock slide so smoothly between her tits, the soft flesh tenfolding the stimulation from the sight.

MC remains with her mouth open and ready to receive his seed as he sees him finally give up and throw his head back, his Adam's apple moving as he swallows thickly between heavy breaths - and then, warm ropes of come hit her tongue.

She manages to catch most of it in her mouth, but a notable part of it adorns her chest that is now as red as her face, as her blood nearly boils from her own need. MC slowly releases her breasts, taking the tip of his cock in her mouth to place a final suckle onto it and make sure Jin rides the very last wave of his orgasm in absolute bliss.

He is only able to pant, sucking on a breath as the stimulation barely pauses for a moment - resulting in him bracing for his need to be renewed almost immediately.

This time round he is able to enjoy their kiss better, to swirl his tongue with hers and pour his passion into the kiss. He sees the opportunity and uses the moment swiftly to sit up and hook his strong arms around her hips, making her squeal as he rises her legs over his shoulders.

"Now, to the next part of my gift…"

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#Ikemen Prince #IkePri #IkePri Jin #Jin Grandet #Ikemen Prince Jin #be my valentine content creation challenge

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