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#and what you said about him being the hardest part of leaving for her ;__;
soaps-mohawk · 4 months
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Cherry Red, Crimson Blood
Chapter 2 - Adjustments
Summary: You're struggling a bit in your adjustment to your new life, and you're finding some of them are easier to get along with than others. Luckily you're not in it alone.
Pairing: Poly 141 x reader
Warnings: Alpha/Beta/Omega dynamics, Alternate Universe, a/b/o typical classism and sexism, military inaccuracies, let's be real this is so unrealistic but it's a/b/o you're not here for accuracy.
Author's Note: I'm so just overwhelmed with the attention this fic has gotten, but not in a bad way I promise! I'm just surprised is all. Thank you everyone that has read and reblogged and commented. I love all of you and so, since I have no self control, here is Chapter 2. Lots more world building and dialogue in this part, but I promise good stuff is coming.
Also I promise Soap will get his time soon. He's just the hardest for me to write, and you'll see why in this chapter.
MASTERLIST | <- Previous | Next ->
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“She was lying.” 
Price doesn’t bother looking up as a dark figure leans against the wall next to him. He stares out at the empty space between the barracks and the mess hall, not much traffic between the buildings during this time of day. 
“About how she got to the institute.” 
“Or at least not telling the whole truth.” Price says, turning to look at Simon. “Something tells me she’d talk if we asked.” 
“She’s soft.” Simon says, letting his gaze drift off into the distance. 
“She’s a civilian.” Price counters. “The CIA did a little training, but she’ll need some work. We can’t leave her completely defenseless...” 
Simon turns to face him again. “There’s something else.” 
Price pushes himself off the wall, heading back inside. Simon follows, the two of them making their way down the hall to his office. “There’s hundreds of American military bases across the world, thousands of regiments they could have chosen from, and yet, they sent her to us.” 
Simon closes the door behind him as Price sinks into his desk chair. “You think it was deliberate?” 
Price pulls open one of the drawers, pulling out the file Kate had given him. “Laswell said the CIA has had eyes on her for years.” He slides it across his desk to Simon. “There’s a lot of why's in this situation, and a lot of how’s. Like, if what she’s saying is true, how did a Staff Sergeant get his daughter into FIOT practically overnight?” 
Simon glances up at him over the top of the file. “You think there’s something else going on with this Initiative.” 
Price nods. “I do. I think there’s more than one experiment being run, and we’re the guinea pigs.” 
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You stare at your reflection in the mirror as you run a comb through your damp hair. You look tired, the dark circles that have plagued your face for the last few weeks looking even darker now. It’s been a long day, so long it’s hard to believe it’s only been a matter of hours since you boarded the helicopter in London. 
Your new pack had made themselves scarce after dinner, leaving you to your own devices. You had been left alone after lunch too, and you had spent that time laying in bed, resting after the overwhelming scenting. 
You’d played back the last few hours in your mind. Leaving London in the helicopter, meeting your new Pack Alpha, Laswell leaving, meeting your new pack, the scenting. You had plenty to think about, to stress over, and you had been surprised when the knock came at your door for dinner. You were equally surprised to see Gaz and Soap waiting for you. 
You’d been sandwiched between them again as you walked to the mess. It was busier for dinner, and the eyes weren’t quite so quick to look away with the alphas missing. You know they have to be curious, with an omega on base following around two members of a SpecOps team, smelling like them. You know what they were probably thinking of you, what they were thinking your presence means. 
You’ve begun to understand Price’s rules a bit more. 
Price and Ghost had joined you as Soap said they would, coming in late from whatever they had been busy doing. You had been seated next to Soap, Ghost taking his other side while Price sat next to Gaz. It hadn’t gone unnoticed to you how close Soap and Ghost sat, and you remembered the look in Ghost’s eyes when Soap had approached to scent you. How his defensive stare had turned icy, threatening even, when he’d gotten close to you as if you were capable of hurting Soap. It had been a silent warning. If you tried anything, you’d have him to contend with. 
Ghost is territorial, more so than most alphas. You had seen it just a bit in Price, but only because you had been watching for it. Ghost was silent in his claim, but his gaze spoke of his territorialism. As you sat at the table with them, you slowly felt the stares lessen, the curious alphas and betas around you slowly turning away from your table until you were left in peace. You knew it was all thanks to a well-pointed glare from the second alpha at the table. 
They’d escorted you back to the barracks before disappearing again, leaving you alone. You’d opted for a shower to try and clear your head, exhaustion weighing heavy in your limbs but your mind was racing too much to really get any rest. You haven’t been told what their normal schedules entail or even what they look like, but you expect an early morning tomorrow. Since Price had said at least one of them needed to escort you around base, that likely meant you were going to be constrained to their schedules. 
You know even when they’re not away, their days are probably full of training and briefings, much like yours had been for three months. They’re probably up early, earlier than you’d like to be, and then they go non-stop all day. 
You wonder if they ever get a break. 
Maybe this is a break for them. 
You sit on the edge of the bed after you finish your routine, eyeing the pillows and blankets stacked at the end. They’re military issue, not as soft or as plush as you might have preferred. This is your new normal, though. Comfort isn’t exactly going to be a high priority. 
Tears prick your eyes as you run your hand over the comforter. You know it’s the exhaustion, the stress of the day beginning to weigh on you. You’re worn out, and that’s causing a slip in the tight reins you keep on your mood. Omegas and alphas were both prone to being moody, and those who were unrestrained could lose control quickly. Alphas were quick to anger, while omegas could get depressed very easily. Exhaustion drives both to being grumpy, though alphas will descend into irritability and anger, while omegas will get whiny and weepy. 
You hate it, how easily you can be driven to cry. How easily you can lose control. It makes you feel weak and helpless, but that’s partially by design. It was supposed to be your pack’s job to fix that, to give you that support and take care of you. 
Except you don’t know your pack. 
What would they do if you approached them like this, all teary and needy? Would instinct take over and snap them into their roles? Or would they give you an awkward pat on the back and leave you to take care of yourself? Gaz would help you, you think. He had slipped into that role so easily during the scenting. Your fingers twitch on the bedspread, your mind telling you to seek him out, track him down, even if it’s only to catch a whiff of his scent again.  
Your phone screen lights up where it’s sitting on the nightstand, drawing your attention from the door. Kate had given you the phone just this morning before you left the hotel. It had her number on it, as well as your pack’s. You’d half expected to find messages already from them when you’d turned it on, but there had been none. They had kept that boundary of meeting in person first. 
You pick up the phone, checking the message. It’s from Price. 
Breakfast is at 0700. I’ll take you to see the Omega Specialist after. 
Seven o’clock. It’s not terribly early. You’d eaten around the same time at the institute. You’ll get to meet the Omega Specialist as well tomorrow. You’ve met plenty of them in your time as an omega, but something about the idea of having someone there who knows, who understands is comforting to you. 
You send a reply in acknowledgement for tomorrow’s plan before setting an alarm for tomorrow morning. There’s an uneasy feeling under your skin, a tickling in the back of your mind that you can’t seem to relax. Your eyes are drawn to the desk where the shirts still sit, and before you know it you’re moving to the desk, letting your fingers trail over each one. 
You grab Price’s shirt, taking it back to your bed. You curl up with your back facing the door, holding the shirt against your chest, letting the scent of tobacco smoke and whiskey fill your nose. Silent tears slide down your cheeks, your face pressing into the pillow to muffle your sobs. 
As you try to muffle your tears, you miss the sound of boots pausing in front of your door, the person on the other side standing there for a moment before continuing down the hall. 
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You let out a groan as your alarm pulls you from sleep. You had drifted in and out for a few hours before finally managing to get a couple precious hours of sleep. You’d woken when the others got up. You knew they were trying to be quiet but you had heard them shuffling around, talking quietly amongst each other. You’re normally a fairly deep sleeper, but in a new place you always struggle. 
A new place surrounded by almost complete strangers. 
You turn off your alarm, sitting up and rubbing your eyes. They’re burning a bit, the exhaustion still weighing heavy on your shoulders. You pad to the bathroom, splashing cold water on your face to try and make yourself at least look more alive than you feel. The last thing you need is them getting worried about you. That’s attention you’re not sure you want right now. 
You blink sleepily at your closet, trying to decide what to wear. Were you allowed to wear anything? You didn’t have much besides the basics, since the only thing you had been allowed to wear at the institute was its uniform and the clothes they provided. Then when you were with the CIA, they had provided clothes for you to wear as well. The things you have now had been bought by Kate before you left D.C. 
Everyone on base wore similar variants of the same uniform. You’re not military, though, so you don’t think those rules apply to you. No one had said anything about your state of dress yesterday. You opt for comfort, knowing you’d likely find out soon if you were going to be forced to dress differently too. 
You’re tying your shoes when the knock sounds on your door. You had heard the others moving around, footsteps in the hallway, opening and closing doors, quiet voices talking and Soap laughing at something. You know it’s one of them, yet the nervous tickle at the back of your head is back. 
Soap is leaning casually against your doorframe when you open the door. His face lights up in a smile as he sees you. “Morning, bonny. Sleep alright?” 
“Yeah.” You shrug. “Tossed and turned for a while.” 
“We didne keep ye up did we?” He asks, his smile faltering just a bit. 
You shake your head. “No, I never sleep well the first few nights in a new place.” 
“Well, our beds are always open if ye need something more comfortable.” He winks at you playfully. 
Your face warms at his words, the double meaning not lost on you. You were right, Soap was going to be the one to push your boundaries the most. 
Gaz elbows him in the ribs as he passes. “She’s been here a day, mate, don’t go scaring her off now.” He leans on the other side of your doorframe, giving you a smile. “Morning.” 
“Morning.” You say, your face still warm from Soap’s teasing. 
“You hungry?” Gaz asks. 
You nod. You do feel hungry this morning, likely a side effect from your emotional night last night. You step out of your room, the two betas stepping back to give you space as you close the door behind you. Ghost is leaning against the wall next to his door, his eyes watching with the typical cautious disinterest that seemed to be his default setting. 
Gaz and Soap sandwich you between them again, close enough their arms brush yours as you walk. It was almost as if they could sense your inner turmoil, the neediness still tugging at the back of your mind. If Ghost hadn’t been trailing the three of you, you might have been tempted to give in and grip their sleeves, or slip your hands into theirs. How would Ghost respond to such a bold move? The mental image of your body flying through the air as he punted you into next week almost makes you laugh. 
Price is already seated at a table frowning at his phone over a cup of coffee. Gaz and Soap load up your tray for you, something you’re getting used to rather quickly. It was expected from the alphas, or at least Price, to coddle you a bit, but it seemed the betas were more than happy to get in on it as well. 
The thought makes something flutter in your chest. 
You’re seated between Gaz and Price again once you reach the table, Price greeting you with a tired smile. “Morning. Sleep alright?” 
“Not really.” You say honestly. “New place and all. I’ll settle in eventually.” 
“Maybe the Omega Specialist can give you some ideas to help.” He glances at his watch before looking at you as you spoon a heaping spoonful of porridge into your mouth. “Take your time. We have until 8.” 
You listen to the conversation at the table as you eat, Gaz and Soap talking about a football game that’s on tonight. You feel eyes on you, your skin prickling a bit. You glance up, half expecting Ghost to be glowering at you again, but his gaze is focused on his eggs. You cast a quick glance around the mess, turning slightly to look behind you. 
Three tables over, you find the gaze of some soldier focused on you. You haven’t paid much attention to anyone else on the base, but then again you haven’t had much time or reason to yet. You can’t read the expression on his face as he stares at you, but you feel a shiver run down your spine as your eyes meet his. 
He stares at you for a few seconds before his gaze moves slightly past you, quickly dropping back to his plate. You turn around, finding Ghost staring just past your head. His eyes are narrowed, his scent coming off stronger than it had been. You can practically see his hackles raised, the warning clear in the air. You feel the urge to curl in on yourself, the threatening aura radiating from him makes you want to cower. 
It doesn't go unnoticed by those at the table either. 
“Easy, Ghost.” Price says calmly, Gaz turning to follow his line of sight. 
“Bloody wanker.” Ghost grumbles before rising from the table. 
You turn back around, but the soldier that had been staring at you is gone. 
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You nervously pick at your sweatshirt sleeves as you sit in the plastic chair next to Price. You’re still on edge a bit from what happened at breakfast. It wasn’t so much being stared at that bothered you. After now three meals in the mess, you’ve almost come to expect it. It’s Ghost’s reaction that has your mind still reeling. 
“I’ve always hated the medical center.” Price says with a sigh as he leans his head back against the wall. “It smells too sterile. Makes my nose burn. Reminds me of too many close calls.” 
His words jar you a bit. You hadn’t even thought about that aspect of his job. He’s used to getting shot at, to getting into fights, running head first into danger that would send most running the other way. You wonder how many times he’s been the one with the close call, and how many others he’s had to watch have their own. 
You wonder how many times he’s had to make that trip to tell someone’s family. 
You’re pulled from your thoughts as the door across from you opens. Price pushes himself to his feet, and you follow as a kind looking woman steps out. You breathe a quiet sigh of relief. You don’t have anything against male Omega Specialists, but you were already surrounded by men. Sure you have Kate, but she’s half a world away. 
She’s tall, dark hair pulled back into a ponytail. Despite being a doctor she’s dressed casually, no white coat or gloves to be seen. Her eyes are light green and crease in the corners when she smiles. 
“Hello, I’m Dr. Keller.” She introduces herself, shaking Price’s hand. 
American. You think, silently breathing another sigh of relief. Kate really had pulled some strings with this one. 
“Captain John Price.” He says. 
You introduce yourself when she turns to you, shaking your hand. Her voice is soft and gentle, the scent of beta coming off her in waves. 
“Come on in,” She says, leading you into the office. “Sit anywhere you like. Make yourselves comfortable.” 
Her office isn’t what you expected either. Instead of the harsh fluorescents, the lighting is softer, warmer. There’s paintings and posters all over the walls, along with several plants. There’s a desk covered in books and paperwork in one corner and a bookshelf with several books packed into it in the other. There’s a couch on one wall, and a couple plush looking chairs on the other. 
You move to one of the chairs, sinking down onto it. It envelops you in softness, and you feel as if you might sink into it and never be able to get out. After a day of hard plastic and stiff blankets, it nearly makes you weep. 
Price takes the chair next to you, Dr. Keller sitting on the couch across from you. The office smells good, a light, neutral scent in the air aside from the pure almondy scent of beta. 
“Alright,” She says, holding a tablet and a stack of files in her lap. “I always like to start by introducing myself and telling you a bit about me, then we’ll get into the important stuff.” 
She jumps into telling you about herself. Where she grew up: California. Where she studied: UC Berkeley. What institute she did her residency at: West Coast Training Academy. Where she worked last before Kate called her in: some poor inner city institute in LA. 
“Now, on to the more important stuff.” She says, turning on the tablet. “I got your medical records yesterday. You’re quite the healthy girl.” 
“Yes ma'am. I have good genes. That’s what my mom used to say.” You respond. 
Dr. Keller smiles. “Hardly even been sick. Your heats are all normal, too, correct?” 
“Yes, ma’am.” You say. “Except for a three month stretch two years ago.” 
“Yes, the heat sickness epidemic that hit America.” She says. 
You nod. “FIOT locked down completely and everyone was supposed to quarantine, but I heard a rumor that it was one of the beta food workers. She snuck out to see her alpha boyfriend and brought it in with her. We only think it was her because she disappeared not long after the first omega got sick.” 
Dr. Keller hums. “I know not everyone was so willing to take it seriously. You made a full recovery, though. No lasting side effects, I’m sure thanks to the state of the art medical facilities that FIOT keeps.” 
“Yes, ma’am. We were lucky it was just a mild case.” 
“That is lucky.” She flips through something on the tablet. “Your lab results all look phenomenal. I like to do checkups monthly, just to ensure everything is working as it should. I know the CIA gave you quite the cocktail of vaccines while you were with them.” She turns her gaze to Price. “Captain Price, I’ve sent in a request for your team’s vaccination records as well. I’m sure you’ve had everything under the sun, but I’d like to ensure there’s no risk of any accidental exposures.” 
“I don’t see a problem with that.” Price says. “If RAMC gives you any trouble, just let me know. I’ll get them for you myself.” 
“Thank you, Captain.” She says. “One last bit in this part and then we can move on. I see FIOT issued an implant before you left, as is standard practice.” 
You nod. “Yes, ma’am.” 
“Good. You’ve had more than enough time for it to take effect so we won’t have to worry about any accidental slip ups during your next heat.” 
Your cheeks warm at her words a bit. You’ve been trying to avoid thinking about that inevitable side of things. 
“And your next heat is roughly six weeks away.” She says, looking at the calendar. “Don't be surprised if it comes a little earlier now that you’re being exposed to alphas again.” 
Your stomach twists nervously at that thought. It was common for heats to be triggered early after exposure to alphas, especially after such a prolonged period without exposure to them. It wasn’t likely to start tomorrow, but you knew it could jump a week or two due to the natural pheromones alphas put off, and the instinctual call for the alpha/omega bond. 
“You’re planning for the claiming to take place during the heat?” Dr. Keller asks. 
“Yes, that’s the plan.” Price says. 
“That is the most natural time for it.” Dr. Keller says. “Of course, it is always up to omega preference in the end.” 
You don’t miss the way her eyes dart to you for a second. 
“Now that that’s over with,” She says, putting the tablet to the side. “If it’s alright with you, I’d like to do this next part with just the two of us.” 
A beat of silence passes before you realize she’s asking you. Her eyes are on you, and so are Price’s. She’s asking you. She’s asking you what you want. 
“I-I guess...yeah.” You stutter over your words, not quite sure how to answer. Is there a wrong answer? Would Price be upset if you said yes? Would Dr. Keller be upset if you said no? Your eyes turn to Price, trying to gauge his reaction. 
“It’s up to you.” He says softly. “We’re here for you.” 
You sit up a little straighter at his words, nodding your head. “Y-Yes. That’s okay.” 
Price pushes himself to stand up. “I’ll be right outside.” 
The air inside the room seems to lighten as he leaves, Dr. Keller reclining back on the couch as the door clicks shut. She pulls out a stack of papers and a pen before she looks at you. Your palms are sweating, and you’re starting to think you’d like the chair to swallow you whole. 
“This next part can feel a bit personal, but I just want you to know that everything you say in here is as confidential as you’d like it to be. Captain Price is right. I am an Omega Specialist, I’m here for you. I’m not just a doctor, I’m here to help you in all aspects of being an omega. I know FIOT teaches a lot, mainly obedience and compliance. I want to make it clear that you can be honest with me.” She holds up the stack of papers. “No one is going to see these papers but me, alright?” 
“Yes, ma’am.” You nod. 
“You don’t have to be so formal with me.” She smiles. “You can call me Dr. Keller, or Doc. You could even call me an evil bitch if you want, it won’t phase me any.” 
You can’t help the small smile that forms on your face. 
“I’ve got some questions I’d like to ask you. They’re a sort of tracker to measure how well you’re settling in and bonding with your new pack. I’d like to meet once a week until your next heat just to see how well you’re settling in. After that we can meet as often as you’d like. Sound good?” 
You nod in approval. It sounds like a lot, but you also know you’re going to have a lot of downtime, even with your pack on base. 
“Alright, let’s get started. How are you settling in? I know it’s barely been a day, but I want to know how you feel here.” 
Your heart begins to pound in your chest. How do you feel here? How do you feel after being pulled from the institute and taken to a training facility where you found out you’d be moving halfway across the world to be a military pack’s omega. 
This wasn’t what you had expected when you reached the age where you became an available omega. Most omegas at FIOT came from rich, powerful, important families and your purpose there was to be groomed into the perfect omega to return right back to that world. 
You thought you would be chosen quickly. You had expected it. With your scores and your high ratings and your status, you were what most alphas dreamed of. Yet, the years had passed and though there was some interest, nothing had ever come of it. You weren’t alone in it. There were others like you, those who excelled at being an omega, but then seemed to stall in the selection once they came of age. 
Of course, now that you look back on it, you can’t help but think it might have been done on purpose. The Omega Initiative was new, you had been told during your first briefing explaining why you were taken to a remote building somewhere outside of D.C. and greeted not by your new pack, but swathes of CIA agents. Military packs were nothing new, but they wanted to utilize the naturally formed packs and make them stronger and more stable by adding in omegas. 
Only highly skilled omegas were considered for the program, but of course you had no say in whether you were going to partake or not. They chose the omegas and they decided where you would end up. 
It wasn’t that dissimilar from being chosen from an Institute. At FIOT there was a screening process packs had to go through to be determined eligible to have access to omega files. Then the pack would have to send a neutral emissary, usually a beta, to meet the omegas in person and choose on behalf of the alpha. Most institutes don’t have that strenuous of a process, and some don’t have a process at all. In some, alphas themselves could walk in and choose an omega without even so much as a background check. 
Omegas never got a say. As soon as you were handed over to an institute, the ability to choose was taken from you. Whoever your caretakers were as a pup signed over their rights to you and the institute became your legal guardian. They dictated your life up until you joined a new pack. 
You had hoped it would be someone rich. If nothing else, you’d get to live a cushy life and you’d never have to worry about anything. When they told you what was really going to happen to you, you had almost cried. You did cry, late at night curled up in your bunk after hours of training and briefings. 
Kate picked you for this pack specifically because she knew them and she knew you could handle them and their world. 
Maybe if you had been worse at being an omega, things would have been better for you. 
Or maybe they would have been worse. 
“It’s...different.” You finally say, picking at your sleeves again. “But in a lot of ways, it’s similar to The Institute. It always takes me time to settle somewhere new.” 
“Me too.” Dr. Keller says, writing some things down. “And with the time change, it’s just so much harder. I feel like I should be in bed right now, but it’s 8 AM. Have you started nesting?” 
You shake your head. “No. I don’t even feel the urge to.” 
“That’s fine.” She says, writing something else down. “In truth, I’d be more concerned if you were.” 
Your eyebrows raise a bit. “Why?” 
“During an adjustment period for an omega, especially in a new pack, there can be something that happens called false instincts. The sudden urge to nest, a drive to bond with pack members too soon, false heats. It’s usually brought on by a sudden change in environment, like when omegas are taken from a place where they’ve spent sometimes years with no exposure to alphas and are suddenly thrown into a space with a lot of alphas. It’s more common in larger packs where you have alphas, betas, and other omegas.” 
“Could it happen in smaller packs?” You ask. 
“It’s possible, though rare. It can cause some serious issues down the line when those instincts are actually supposed to begin to show up, like adjustment sickness. I’d say if you’re starting to feel the urge to nest or bond before the first week is up, then come talk to me, alright?” 
“Yes, ma’am.” You nod. 
She smiles, turning the page. “How far have you gotten with the bonding process?” 
“Just the scenting yesterday.” You answer. 
“And how did that go?” 
You pick at the loose thread on your sweatshirt. “Fine. It was...overwhelming.” 
“They can be.” Dr. Keller says. “The new members of your pack, how are you getting along with them?” 
“Fine, I guess.” You shrug. “I like Soap and Gaz. Price, he’s...he’s nice, and Ghost...” You trail off, not sure how to answer. If she’d asked before breakfast you might have said he doesn't like you. He doesn’t want you to be part of his pack, but after what happened at breakfast...
You can’t be sure he did it for you. He could have thought that soldier was staring at Soap or Gaz or even Price. He could have thought the soldier was staring at him and was annoyed with it. He had scared off the stares at every meal you’d eaten together, but how often did they get stared at? You couldn’t know if that was a daily occurrence and he was just growing sick of it. 
He could be annoyed with you because you’re drawing in the stares. 
“I don’t know what to think about him yet.” You answer. 
She writes something else down, going through a few more questions with you. How is your appetite? How are you sleeping? Are you taking care of your needs? Do you have any concerns? 
Before you know it the hour has passed and you’re walking out the door into the fluorescent, sterile hallway of the medical center. 
“Remember, you have my number. If you need anything, I’m here for you.” Dr. Keller says as you part ways. 
You walk with Price out of the medical center, glad to be out in the fresh air. It’s not particularly warm, and the sun is hidden behind a layer of clouds, but it’s better than the medical center. 
“What do you think?” Price asks as you follow him back to the barracks. 
“I think it went well.” You say, mind still reeling from an eventful morning. You’re beginning to feel your restless night. 
“Do you like Dr. Keller?” He asks, probing a bit. 
You nod. “Yes, sir. She’s nice.” 
“Good.” He says, opening the door to the barracks for you. “I have to leave to oversee training for the next few hours.” He glances at his watch. “One of us will come get you for lunch.” 
You nod. Of course you’d find yourself alone again between meals. You’re beginning to notice a pattern. “Yes, sir.” 
His hand is warm as it settles on your shoulder, squeezing gently. You’re surprised by the touch, as small as it is. Were they too fighting the urge to get close to you, like you had this morning? 
You can still feel the warmth of his hand even after it’s disappeared and he’s gone. You head for the rec room, deciding to avoid the constricting feeling of being shut in your room for the time being. 
The TV is on when you enter, but the room is empty, playing some morning talk show. You move to the bookshelf against the wall, letting your eyes scan the titles. There's a surprising lack of military-based books shoved into the packed shelf. Of course there's a handful of old manuals and handbooks, nothing that you're particularly concerned about needing to read. You let out a sigh, standing on your toes to reach a Brandon Sanderson novel. 
You look around the room but the remote for the TV seems to be missing, and it’s too high on the wall for you to reach the power button, so you leave it on, curling up on one corner of the couch as you begin to read. 
You’re not sure how much time has passed when something moves in your peripheral. The sun has come out briefly, shining in through the windows. You look up from the book, suddenly feeling very small under Ghost’s gaze. His eyes are narrowed as he stares down at you, a thousand things flashing through your mind. Are you in his spot? Is this his book? Had he come to the rec room hoping to be alone and here you are infringing in his space? 
“Come on.” He says, his voice rougher than it had been this morning. “Lunch.” 
He’s already turned and heading out the door as you scramble up, leaving the book on the coffee table as you hurry to catch up to him. His steps are quick and wide, and you find yourself having to almost speedwalk to keep up with him. 
Your thoughts are jumbled as you follow him out of the barracks and off towards the mess. Why would they send him to get you? Was he the only one available? Yesterday they had time before lunch to return to the barracks, or had that only been because of you? Or were they perhaps hoping this might offer a chance for the two of you to bond a bit? 
Or were they entirely blind to Ghost’s disinterest in your existence? 
Perhaps they were used to it. After so long together, perhaps they just thought it was normal. If you were brave enough to bring it up, would you get a “oh that’s just how he is” in response? 
You can’t see the others as you enter the mess, Ghost leading you to the line. He stands behind you like a hulking shadow, his scent covered by the smell of gunpowder and sweat. You fill your own tray for the first time, grabbing things that look appetizing. You’ll have to get used to it eventually, even though the others insisted on doing it for the time being. When they’re not here, you’ll have to do it yourself. 
Ghost leads you to an empty table, and you opt to sit across from him. You begin to eat, taking big bites to avoid the need for conversation, not that you really thought Ghost would strike up a conversation with you. Your eyes flicker around the room nervously, glancing over the entrances time and time again, waiting for the others to arrive. 
“Stop twitching. They’re on their way.” 
The words cut straight through you and you snap your head around to face Ghost. He’s got his mask pulled up to his nose, your eyes immediately drawn to the exposed pale skin. There’s light stubble on his chin. You remember how that had felt on your own skin when he’d scented you. He’s blonde, you think, or at least has light hair judging by the color of the stubble. There’s a scar on his chin, almost hidden by the stubble. 
Your face warms as you realize you’ve been caught in your nervous fretting. Of course, you should have known he would take notice. There’s not a lot they don’t notice, you think. Though, when your survival depends on noticing even the smallest detail of anything or anyone...
You jump as a tray is set down next to yours, your eyes snapping up to see Gaz with a smile on his face. You turn back to look at Ghost, his mask pulled back down but you see a slight shake to his shoulders for a second.
Was he...laughing at you? 
Your attention is drawn from him as Gaz takes a seat next to you, sitting close enough his arm is almost brushing yours. Price and Soap taking their usual spots as well. You’re beginning to pick up on the patterns that existed around them, and their own patterns. Perhaps that will make it easier for you to fit yourself into their lives. You knew from the start they weren’t going to change to fit you into their lives. They couldn’t. You were going to have to find a way to fit into their lives. 
Gaz walks you back to the barracks after lunch, abnormally quiet as he watches you warily. He walks you to your door, leaning on the doorframe as you step inside. 
“You alright?” He asks, big brown eyes shining with worry as he looks you over. 
“Yeah.” You nod, shifting on your feet. “Just tired. I think I might take a nap.” 
He nods, and you’re sure he doesn't quite believe you, but he doesn’t press any. “Alright. Happy napping.” 
You close the door as he leaves, sinking down onto the edge of the bed with a sigh. It’s been a long day and it’s only lunch. Between the probing questions from Dr. Keller and the few minutes you had spent alone with Ghost you feel exhausted. It was good to know you weren’t entirely broken in your lack of nesting instincts, and perhaps your turmoil with belonging in this place wasn’t quite as abnormal as you thought. 
What to do about Ghost.
He’s said more words to you today than he did in the entirety of the previous day. In fact, you think today might be the first time he’s spoken to you at all. You know he doesn’t approve of you, and you’d go so far as to say he doesn’t like you. You can imagine he fought the hardest against you being added to the pack. They were fine without you. It didn’t take a genius to see that. 
You’re an outsider. A civilian. A risk. 
An unneeded disruption to their lives. 
You pull your phone out of your pocket, staring at the dark screen. You know Ghost might never accept you. He won’t want to claim you, he won’t mate you, but...perhaps you might just get him to tolerate you. 
You unlock your phone, sending a quick text to Kate. 
“Can you get a book for me?”
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You regret your decision momentarily as you step into the rec room. Gaz and Soap are lounged on the couch, beer bottles open on the coffee table. The TV is playing ads, their attention on each other. You almost feel as if you’re infringing upon a private moment as they laugh, half tempted to race back to your room and hide until your hunger draws you out or someone breaks down the door to get to you. 
“Hey!” Gaz’s face lights up when he sees you, Soap turning to look at you.
“Hey, bonny!” His face lights up with a smile. 
“Do you mind if I join you?” You ask, shifting nervously on your feet. 
“Not at all.” Gaz says, patting the empty spot on the couch next to him. “You want a beer?” 
You shake your head. “No thank you. Never could get past the taste.” 
Soap throws his head back as he laughs, slapping Gaz’s shoulder. “I keep tellin’ ye!” 
“Yet you keep drinking it!” Gaz attempts to defend himself. 
“Cause it’s th’ only thing we got!” Soap argues, leaning around Gaz to stare at you. “So, ye a football fan, bonny?” 
“Well, I watched the World Cup a couple times as a kid.” You say. “My household was more of an American football and baseball household. Two of my older brothers played soccer, though they never were very serious about it. Mostly just did it to fulfill my dad’s physical activity extracurricular requirement.” 
“What did you do to fulfill that requirement?” Gaz asks as he takes a sip of his beer. 
“Softball. I was...not good at it.” You laugh. “I could catch and throw, but I don’t think I hit the ball a single time I was at bat.” 
Both of them chuckle, turning back to the TV as the ad ends. “Don’t worry, we’ll turn you into a proper football fan yet.” Gaz says. 
You watch the game with them, and it doesn’t take you long to realize they’re rooting for opposing teams. They explain things to you here and there in between yelling at the TV and each other. Despite how loud they are, you find yourself relaxing further and further, the tension from the last two days easing away, even as the two betas yell at each other over a soccer game. 
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Gaz tenses for a second as he feels a sudden weight on his shoulder. He turns his head slightly, noticing you’ve fallen asleep, your head drooping onto his shoulder. His lips quirk up in a smile as he gently nudges Soap. 
“Wha?” Soap asks, turning to look at him. 
He jerks his head to the side, leaning back just slightly so Soap can see. A grin breaks out on the younger man’s face and he pulls out his phone. “Aww, look a’ that. Think we should wake ‘er and get ‘er tae bed?” 
“Nah.” Gaz says. “Let her sleep for now. She probably needs it.” 
You sleep soundly through overtime, Gaz not moving until the post game is over, letting you sleep as long as possible. He knows you have to be tired, after the last few days and the time difference. You looked tired today, with dark circles and droopy eyes. He hates to wake you, but he knows you can’t sleep on the couch. 
He nudges you gently, trying to rouse you. “Hey.” He nudges you again, your head finally lifting off his shoulder. 
You blink sleepily, rubbing at your eyes. You make a quiet sound in protest of being awake, eyes drooping closed again. 
“Come on, love.” He says, keeping you upright. “It’s time for bed.” 
You cover your yawn with your hand, blinking at him sleepily. “Bed?” You murmur sleepily, Gaz smiling softly at how adorable you are in this state. 
“Yeah, you’ll be more comfortable in bed.” He pushes himself to stand, hands on your arms to pull you up. 
You make another sound in protest, nearly falling against his chest when he gets you on your feet. He wraps an arm around you, letting you lean on him as he guides you back to bed, Soap cleaning up the mess they had made. 
You’re more awake once you get to your door, blinking up at him with bleary eyes. “‘S fun.” You murmur, rubbing your eyes. “Should do that more often.” 
“You’re always welcome to join us.” He says. “Get some rest. You’ve had a long week.” He leans forward, pressing a kiss to your forehead. “Night, love.” 
He waits until your door is closed before heading back down the hallway towards the rec room, a small smile on his face. 
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serpentandlily · 5 months
Text
Now That We Don't Talk
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Part I
Now That We Don’t Talk - Azriel x Reader
Summary: Dealing with the aftermath of your mate’s betrayal.
Warnings: major angst, mentions of grief and loss, mention of infidelity 
a/n: this has a happy ending, I promise! I’d also like to mention that I never usually blame the woman when a man cheats, but in this case, both parties knew of the existing relationship and bond so *death to all of them* lol jk…for now…I hope this lives up to your expectations!
────────────
“That’s it, Y/n,” Madja said, taking a step backwards as she carefully monitored you between two support beams. “Go slow.”
Your shoulders and arms were straining as you held yourself up using the two beams, slowly raising your foot to take another step forward. You groaned at the pain, feeling flustered and embarrassed that walking was taking you so much effort. 
Cassian and Nesta had turned one of the larger chambers in the House of Wind into a physical remedial room. You had sessions in here every day with Madja, Cassian almost always there with you and in times he couldn’t be, Rhys would fly up to be with you during these. 
You didn’t have the heart to tell your brother that you preferred when Rhys was here instead of him, only because he always magicked his wings away so you didn’t have to see them. Cassian’s were just a reminder of what you had lost. 
Relearning to walk has been one of the hardest parts of losing your wings.
Even now it was a struggle to simply stand. You were too used to the weight of having wings on your back and using them to balance. You felt their absence in more ways than one.
But this one was easier to deal with—the physical part. It was the mental and emotional part that still kept you up at night. The loss of freedom, having to know you’d never be able to fly again. The nightmares. The embarrassment. The shame. 
You had never been a particularly proud Illyrian, never agreeing with the way your people were raised and the culture they lived in. But still, having those wings made you a part of something bigger than yourself—a community, a tribe, a family. 
You weren’t like Rhys, not a half-breed like him. You didn’t have the pointy ears to make you fit in with the wingless High Fae. You’d always be other to them. And now you’d be other to your people as well. 
You tried to blink away the tears forming in your eyes but it didn’t matter. Your brother seemed to sense the change in your mood and rose from his chair in the corner where he had been monitoring the session.
“You’re doing great, kiddo,” Cassian said, trying to encourage you to keep trying. “One step at a time.”
“I can’t,” you choked out, your muscles straining from the effort to keep you upright. “I-I can’t.”
“You can and you will,” Cassian said, sternly. “Come on, I know you can do it.” 
“I can’t.”
You wobbled, letting out a long exhale. You had only made it halfway to the other side of the mat. Pain pierced through your still healing back, serving as another reminder of what you had lost. Your fractured hip had healed already but the bones still felt like they were being grinded together every time you moved your legs. 
“Thank you for your help today, Madja,” Cassian said, sharing a look with the older healer. “I can take it from here.”
Madja, as if also sensing the shift in the atmosphere, took her leave without argument to give you some privacy with your brother. 
“Just make sure she eats something after this. Her body needs more nourishment,” Madja said on her way out. The noise of the door shutting behind her was all it took for the hold on your emotions to completely crumble. 
You felt your legs give out as a cry escape from your throat. Cassian darted forward, catching you only just before you hit the ground. He slowly lowered you the rest of the way, going with you to hold you in a tight embrace as sobs racked your body. 
“I-I can’t do this, Cass,” you cried over and over again. “I can’t do this.”
He knew you weren’t just talking about walking.
Every intake of breath reminded you of the heavy weight of your heart in your chest. It was unbearable, all consuming. The heartache, the pain, the feeling of the mating bond still lingering in the background of it all. You wanted to rip your heart out, wanted to scream and scream but all that came out were inaudible words and sobs. 
“It’s going to be okay, sweetheart,” Cassian murmured, petting your hair on the back of your head. “I promise you.” 
“My wings, Cass, m-my wings are gone,” you choked out, tears streaming down your face.
Cassian cradled your head in his neck, pulling you tighter against him. His own body was tense and you knew he was holding back his own emotions, trying to be strong for you. “I know, kiddo, I know.” 
“M-my wings,” you cried. “My wings. I-I want them back, Cass. P-please, I want them back!”
“I would cut off my own wings and give them to you if I could, sweetheart,” Cassian whispered, his voice filled with despair. “I’m so sorry.”
He couldn’t understand this feeling, would never unless he too lost his wings. You remembered when he almost had after protecting Azriel in Hybern from the blast of the Cauldron. Azriel…Just thinking of his name was making you spiral further, choking on your own sobs. 
There had once been a time when Azriel had been the one to save your wings. And now he was part of the reason why you lost them. You weren’t even sure which hurt more at this point. His betrayal or the loss of your wings. 
Both felt so violating. 
A piece of you, of your body, ripped away along with your trust and heart. Your mate sleeping with another female and coming home to you. Looking you in the eyes and keeping that secret from you each and every day. Making love to you knowing he was sharing himself with another behind your back. How were you supposed to move on? 
It didn’t help that you weren’t fully rid of Azriel. The bond was still an unwelcomed presence inside of you, still sang his name–called for him–despite the hurt he had caused you. You wanted to tear it to shreds. 
“Why?” You cried, wrapping your arms around Cassian’s neck to fall into him further. Your brother held you as tight as he could, stroking your hair, whispering words of support in your ear. “Why wasn’t I g-good enough, Cass? W-why wasn’t I enough for him? What is wrong with m-me?”
The guttural wails that came from you caused Cassian to squeeze his eyes shut, trying to keep his own tears at bay. Your chest heaved as you struggled to even breath under the crushing anguish that was consuming you. He held you as you shook, held you as your tears soaked through his shirt, held you as he restrained himself from shooting off to go find Azriel and kill him. 
“There is nothing wrong with you, sweetheart. Nothing,” Cassian growled. “Azriel is a fool for losing you. He’s the fuck-up. Not you.”
“He is my mate, Cass, my mate. And he–he did this to me. Why?”
“Because he’s a miserable bastard who doesn’t know how to love,” Cassian growled. 
You couldn’t even register his words over the pounding of your own wailing heart. “What did I do to deserve this?”
You felt so violated, so vulnerable, so completely and utterly shattered. The pain of your broken heart seemed to echo in the depths of your very soul. Why hadn’t you been enough for him?
Was Elain just that much better? Was she prettier, smarter, a better female? Could she give him something you couldn’t?
“You didn’t deserve this. You did nothing wrong,” Cassian murmured into your hair, kissing the top of your head. “You are so much better than them, sweetheart.” 
“B-but then why wasn’t I enough?” Your cries met their crescendo, your hands shaking as you clung onto Cassian’s shirt with tight fists. “Why wasn’t I enough, Cass? Why?” 
Your voice was hoarse, your words cracking as you spoke. But there was nothing left to say. 
Nothing left to say at all. 
You weren’t good enough for Azriel, for your own mate. You weren’t good enough to keep his attention. Not good enough to keep his love. 
You were just simply not enough. 
Cassian held you there as you cried and cried, held you as the weight of everything you lost engulfed you. Held you through the raw grief that surged like a tempest within you. Held you until you had cried yourself into a fitful sleep, only then rising to carry you back to your room. 
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As soon as Mor had gotten word about what had happened, she immediately started her journey home from the continent. She had gone to you the minute she landed in Velaris, but Cassian had turned her away because he didn’t want to interrupt your sleep, something you hadn’t gotten much of since the attack.
But that was okay because she had a few things she needed to take care of. 
“Where is she!”
Mor’s shout rang through the entire house, the ground quaking underneath her as she stormed into the dining room where a very morose dinner seemed to be taking place with Rhys, Feyre, Elain and Amren at the table. Rhys shot up from his seat. “Y/n is at the House of Wind with—”
“Not her,” Mor snarled before pointing a finger at Elain, who stared at her wide-eyed. “You.” 
Before anyone could stop her, Mor launched herself forward, grabbing Elain by the hair on the back of her head and slamming her face down on the wooden table she was sitting at. Rhys cursed while Feyre jumped up from her seat, thanking the Gods that Nesta wasn’t here for this. 
Rhys grabbed Feyre by the arm, shaking his head at her. “Some things need to be fought the fae way. Let her learn.” 
Amren leaned back in her chair, not so much as flinching at the display. 
Mor kept her fist wrapped in Elain’s hair, pressing her face against the hardwood as the other girl cried out, blood dripping down her nose.
“That was for Y/n because she’s up there learning how to fucking walk again because of you,” Mor hissed before yanking Elain up by her hair until she was standing. 
Elain cried out for Feyre but her sister just pressed her lips into a thin line, Rhys’s hand still around her arm. Feyre was disappointed in her sister for what she had done but she still bristled as Rhys’s amusement at the scene traveled down their bond.
Mor decked Elain in the face, the sound audible, causing Feyre to flinch. Elain’s head whipped to the side as she dropped to the floor with a loud sob. “And that was for Cassian because he would never lay his hands on a weak, pathetic female but I will. Remember that.” 
Elain’s cries rung out in the room, blood dripping from her now broken nose and a bruise already forming on her cheek. Mor ignored her as she looked to Rhysand.
“Where is the other one?” Her voice was full of anger. “I’m going to fucking kill him.” 
“I don’t know,” Rhys sighed, finally letting go of Feyre. She rushed to Elain’s side, helping her off the floor and out of the room, giving Mor a remorseful look, feeling guilty over what her sister had caused. 
“What do you mean you don’t know?”
“He disappeared once Y/n woke up and made it very clear she didn’t wish to see him. I have no idea where he went.”
“That fucking coward,” Mor grumbled. “Why is Elain still here? This is Y/n’s home, not hers. She shouldn’t have to be the one who leaves and you know she will if those two are still around. Cassian would leave with her too—I’m sure of it.”
“I know he would,” Rhys said, sitting back down and putting his head in his hands. “I don’t know what to do, Mor. If Elain wasn’t Feyre’s sister I would’ve had her banished in a second and Azriel…Gods, he’s my brother. I can’t believe he would do something like this. He loves Y/n. I don’t know why he would hurt her like this.” 
“Azriel has always been his worst enemy,” Mor sighed, sitting next to Rhys. “We’ve all tried to help him as much as we could but this just isn’t something we can help him with. Y/n is going to need our support. This could destroy her.” 
“It already has,” Rhys replied. “She might leave our court regardless of whether or not we send Azriel and Elain away. I wouldn’t blame her. I’ve already let her know that if she wants out, I’ll have everything set-up for her.” 
“What of the girl’s mate? The redhead,” Amren piped up, crossing her arms. “Does he know yet? You know how males are. He might call for a blood duel against Azriel.” 
“Lucien has already been informed about what happened,” Rhys spoke. “Cassian has been on a warpath and was all too eager to tell Lucien. I think part of him hoped he would duel Azriel. But Lucien wouldn’t.” 
“So what happens now?” Mor asked. 
Rhys looked at her and she took note of the heavy bags under his eyes. He hadn’t been sleeping. Neither had she. She was certain none of them had. Azriel had caused a giant rift in this family—one felt by them all. 
Rhys held back his tears, clearing his throat.
“I know what was to be done,” he breathed out. “But it’s going to be hard. He was…He was my brother for over five hundred years. Regardless of what he’s done, it’s going to be hard to say goodbye.” 
Mor rested a comforting hand on his shoulder. “I know, Rhys. Nothing about this is going to be easy.”
“He cannot be trusted anymore,” Amren added. “Anyone who could cheat on their mate cannot be trusted. He might as well have spit on the Mother’s face for what he did.”
“I just want to know why. Why would he do this?” 
Mor let out a long breath. “I’m not sure you’ll ever get an answer. I think Azriel, himself, can’t even answer that question.” 
“I failed her, Mor. I knew how dangerous that mission was. I should’ve never given it to her,” the quiet cry shook Rhys’s body. 
“Azriel was supposed to be with her, Rhys,” Mor said. “It’s not your fault. He failed her. This was his doing.” 
But Rhys just shook his head, the tears finally slipping free from both of their eyes. 
“Get it out now, Mor, before you see her,” Rhys choked out. “It’s…hard to see her in the state she’s in. Prepare yourself. We have to be strong for her.” 
“I know,” Mor whispered, wiping at her tears. “I know.” 
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“Hey, kiddo,” Cassian’s voice pulled you from your sleep.
You blinked awake, groaning at the pounding in your head. It took you a second to realize you were in your room. Cassian must’ve carried you here after your breakdown yesterday. 
Cassian was sitting beside you, stroking your hair. “I brought you some breakfast and someone is here to see you.”
It was only then you noticed the other person sitting at the end of your bed. 
“Mor?” Your voice was hoarse, the word barely escaping. “You’re here?”
“I came back as soon as I heard,” Mor said, leaning forward to clutch your hand in hers. “How are you doing, babygirl?” 
Mor had always felt like an older sister to you. Her friendship with your brother had made the two of you close. 
“I’m…I’m not doing good,” you replied, honestly. “I can’t…I don’t know what to do, Mor. I don’t know how to move on from here. Part of me wishes I died in that alleyway. I wish I died the minute my wings were cut off.” 
“I know,” she said, sadly. “I wish I had an answer for you but I don’t. It’s going to be hard, but we’re going to be with you every step of the way.” 
“Come on, why don’t you sit up so you can eat,” Cassian murmured, putting a hand on your back to help you up. 
“I’m not hungry,” you protested.
“You have to eat something, sweetheart,” Cass said gently. “Madja’s orders.”
But you shook your head. You didn’t have an appetite. Everything still hurt so much. 
“Just give her a second, Cass,” Mor murmured. 
Cassian frowned but nodded. He brushed some of your hair away from your face again and the soothing motion started another round of tears. 
“Hey, hey,” Cassian whispered. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay, Cass! How will I ever be able to show my face again?” you cried. “I will be shamed, spit on, shunned because I lost my wings—because I couldn’t fight for them. I can never return to Illyria. I won’t be able to help train with the girls anymore.” 
“Emerie told me the girls are already awaiting your return. They miss you,” Mor reassured. “Who cares about what the stupid males are going to think? Most of those females have had their freedom of flight taken from them. They would never shun you for what happened.” 
Your eyes fell on the many bouquets of flowers and get well cards on your nightstand. Cassian had been bringing them to you. Your heart ached at the sight. 
“But I failed them, Mor,” you sobbed. “I failed them. I’m supposed to be strong. I’m supposed to be a warrior and all it took was one male to completely destroy me. I’m worthless to them now. How can I teach them to fight for themselves if I cannot even do that?” 
“You are not worthless,” Cassian said, sternly. “You are more of a fighter than half of those Illyrian males. You continue to fight each day knowing you have to live with the loss of your wings. Most of the males would’ve given up already, sweetheart. You are stronger than you think.” 
“I-I’m not. I’m weak and a failure,” you cried. “I couldn’t protect my wings. Couldn’t keep my mate’s love. Couldn’t…couldn’t–”
Your sobs overtook your words, your entire body shaking. 
“Listen to me, Y/n.” Mor demanded. “You are not weak. You are not a failure. You are a million times better than the two assholes who hurt you. You will survive this. You will survive him. I promise you, Y/n, I promise you.” 
She embraced you, holding you as you broke down into gut-wrenching sobs once again. 
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The air was tense to say the least. Rhys was standing behind his desk, palms pressed flat against the surface as he stared at the two people sitting in front of him. Feyre stood next to him as both a pillar of support and the High Lady. 
Azriel’s eyes were downcast. He hadn’t even looked at Elain since he had been dragged into this office by Mor—a new black eye and a bruised jaw decorating his face. Elain stared and stared at him, her eyes pleading with him to look at her but he ignored her presence. 
Azriel looked rough. He hadn’t shaved, his eyes were bloodshot, but the most surprising thing was his lack of shadows swarming him. 
“Where are you shadows?” Rhys asked. “I swear, Azriel, if you sent them after Y/n, I will bring Cassian down here to do with you as he pleases.” 
Azriel looked up, shaking his head. “They won’t sing to me anymore. Not since…Not since the accident.” 
It was true. His shadows had hissed at him, recoiled in his presence before they dissipated as if they too had felt his betrayal. They had wailed in agony at the loss of Y/n. They had always skittered away in Elain’s presence, probably the only reason they never yelled at him when he was with her…but it seems this time, they had left for good. 
Despite his curiosity, Rhys decided to drop the subject. This was not the time or place for that discussion. 
“Feyre and I have come to a decision about what must happen due to the results of your actions,” Rhys said, his voice full of authority and resignation. 
“What? But we’ve done nothing wrong!” Elain exclaimed. “I know we shouldn’t have gone behind Y/n’s back but we’re in love!”
“I don’t care,” Rhys snarled, baring his teeth. “I don’t care how much you two claim to be in love! Azriel has caused irreparable damage to his own mate—a member of my court, of my family. And you were complicit in that.” 
“Are we not your family too? Feyre is my sister!”
“And Y/n is mine,” Rhys retorted. “And Cassian’s.”
Elain crossed her arms and leaned back in her chair. “So we’re being punished for falling in love? It’s not our fault the Cauldron decided to make someone else our mates. It was never our choice.” 
“You’re not being punished for falling in love, if that’s even what we can call this,” Feyre spat out, staring at her sister with disappointment. “You’re being punished for how you handled a sensitive situation. You’re being punished for lying to our whole family and for causing it to be torn apart.”
“You’re not being punished at all,” Rhys snapped. “If you were, both of you would be in a cell in Hewn City and I’d let Cassian decide what your punishment would be considering Y/n would never have the heart to hurt either of you. This is simply the consequence of your own stupid actions.” 
Azriel’s head shot up at the mention of your name. “How is Y/n? Is she doing okay?” 
Feyre went to answer but Rhys shook his head at her. 
“You don’t get the privilege of knowing anything about her at this point, Azriel,” he huffed. 
Azriel stood from his chair in anger. “She is my mate, Rhys.”
“Sit down,” Rhys commanded, his voice rising for the first time since the meeting started. “Funny how now you acknowledge her as a mate but not when you had your tongue down Elain’s throat.” 
“Fuck you, Rhys,” Azriel growled, but sat, unable to fight the power of a High Lord’s order. 
“No fuck you, Azriel! I thought you were my brother! How could you do this to Y/n? To our family? Both of you should be ashamed. You are already getting off easy, don’t make me rethink my choice. Lucien has every right to storm in right now and demand a blood duel against you. And even though it’s not a practice in my court, I’d even let Y/n declare one against Elain.”
Elain’s face paled but Azriel only scoffed in indignation. “As if Feyre would ever let anyone kill one of her sisters.” 
Feyre stepped forward, glaring at the shadowsinger and Elain. “I’m done protecting her. Nesta is done protecting her. We have spent our whole lives taking care of her thinking she was just too soft for this world—too naive and innocent. But I think we’re finally seeing the real you, Elain. And it is time for you to face the consequences of your own actions, make your own way in life.” 
“So what are you going to do? Are you going to force me to live in the House of Wind like you did Nesta?”
“No,” Feyre said, stone faced before looking at Rhys. They had decided together how they would handle this situation.
“You are both hereby banished from the Night Court,” Rhys declared. “I will not tolerate Y/n having to lose her own home after she just lost her wings and we are going to do what's best for her. Lucien has made it clear that you both will not be welcomed in Day either and Helion is standing by his son’s decision. Beyond that, we cannot help you. You will pack your things and leave immediately. If you step one foot in this court after you leave, I will be notified and you will face worse repercussions.” 
“What?” Elain exclaimed. “Feyre, you can’t be serious! Look, I’ll move out of the Riverhouse. We can live in Azriel’s apartment and avoid Y/n.”
“That apartment belongs to Y/n too, you know,” Feyre snapped. “We have already made our decision. We will not be negotiating any terms.” 
“Rhys, come on,” Azriel said. “I will leave but you don’t need to banish Elain too. She did nothing wrong.”
“Elain knew you were a mated male, knew you were together with Y/n. While I agree that what you have done is worse, she still knew what she was doing wasn’t right.” 
“Where are we supposed to go?” Elain cried. “I don’t have any money. I don’t have anywhere to go, Feyre. You can’t just toss me out like this.” 
“Azriel has money,” Feyre shrugged. “I guess you’re his problem now.” 
“You know none of the other High Lord’s will want me in their courts, Rhys,” Azriel snarled. “Not after the things I’ve done for you.” 
“Should of thought of that before you betrayed our whole family.” 
“I hear the old Manor is still abandoned in the human lands,” Feyre remarked. “Since Vassa had reclaimed her territory with Jurian at her side and Lucien had moved to Day to be with his father.” 
“We can’t survive there,” Elain sobbed. “Humans hate faeries.” 
“Not my problem, Elain,” Feyre said. “You’re not my problem anymore.” 
“Azriel, do something!” Elain cried, looking at the shadowsinger. 
“What do you expect him to do?” Rhys laughed humorlessly. “He no longer has his title, his place in my court. He has no sway here. You both don’t. You will not change our minds.” 
“Nesta won’t allow this!”
“Nesta,” Feyre said, “is packing up your things as we speak.” 
Elain fell back in her chair, crying. 
“I’d say I wish you two the best, but I don’t,” Rhys said. “You have two hours to sort out whatever you have to before I expect you both to be out of my court. Two hours. Do you understand?” 
“Please,” Elain begged. “Please don’t do this, Feyre.”
But Feyre only shook her head at her sister. “There’s no going back for either of you. Say your goodbyes, sort out your affairs, but you will leave in two hours.” 
Rhys took his leave after that, giving Azriel one last look that was full of disgust, guilt, regret, sadness. One last look at his brother before striding out of that room, never to see or speak to him again. 
────────────
Mor had just left when you heard the flapping of wings approaching your balcony. Thinking it was your brother, you pushed yourself to stand and hobbled over to the balcony doors using the walls of your room for support. You opened the door, expecting to see your brother, but your heart stopped when you came face to face with Azriel. 
Your eyes narrowed and you went to slam the door, but he grabbed it before you could. 
“Please, please just hear me out,” he pleaded. “I will leave, I promise, I just…I just—please.” 
“There is nothing you can say that will make me forgive you, Azriel.”
“I know, baby–”
“Don’t you dare call me that!”
Azriel looked down at his feet. “Okay, I’m sorry. I’m not here to try to earn your forgiveness, Y/n. I know I fucked up beyond repair. I know I failed you, failed us. Words will never be able to convey how much I regret everything.” 
You crossed your arms, leaning against the doorframe as your legs threatened to give out. You were debating screaming out for Cassian. 
Azriel reached into his pocket and pulled out a small stone that looked to be enchanted. He held it out towards you. 
“I can’t…I can’t hear the shadows anymore,” he murmured. “But I can’t just leave you without some way to contact me. In case you ever change your mind, in case there is ever a chance that we can be together again. You’ll be able to call for me with this.”
“That is never going to happen.”
“Please, just take it,” Azriel begged. “Even if you don’t want me, please. If you’re ever in danger again and need help, you can use it for that too. Just please, take it.” 
When you said nothing, didn’t so much as open your palm so he could place the stone in it, he knelt down and placed it at your feet instead. You stared at him, emotionless. You didn’t want to give him anything. He didn’t deserve your tears or your sadness. 
“I’m so sorry, Y/n. I’m so sorry for the way things ended,” Azriel said. “You deserve a better mate than me. If I never…If I never get to see you again after this, I promise I will find you in the next life and the one after that. I will do right by you. I will give us another chance.”
He stared at you, pleading with you to say anything. Anything. Even if you screamed at him, beat him, cried—anything was better than this utter silence. But you didn’t. You merely looked at him like he was nothing to you. Like he was a stranger. 
“Goodbye, Azriel,” you said. “I hope you find happiness in your life. Truly.”
And then you slammed the door shut and walked away. 
And he knew then that your words would haunt him for the rest of his life because he knew he had lost the one real thing that had brought him true happiness forever.
────────────
One Year Later ~ Winter Solstice 
“Get up, you lazy cow!”
The sheets were yanked off your sleeping body, exposing you to the cold morning air. You let out a shriek, cursing at your brother and trying to grab the sheets back.
“What the hell, Cassian!”
“It’s Winter Solstice!”
“It’s also six in the morning,” you retorted, falling back down on your bed. 
“Nope, you’re not going back to sleep,” Cassian said. “It’s time to get up!” 
Before you could even respond, Cassian grabbed you by the ankle and yanked you to the end of the bed. You squealed as he tossed you over his shoulder like a bag of potatoes, pounding on his back as he raced out of the room.
“Cassian! Let me down, you big brute!” 
But he only laughed at you, carrying you all the way to the kitchen where Nesta was sitting at the counter with a steaming cup of tea. She didn’t so much as blink as he dropped you into the chair next to her, already used to her mate’s antics. 
“Goodmorning, Y/n,” Nesta said, pushing an already prepared cup of tea your way.
“Oh, you are an absolute goddess,” you groaned, greedily accepting the mug. You curled your ice cold fingers around it, relishing in the warmth. 
“Hey! What about me?” Cassian yelled, swinging a wash cloth over his shoulder as he started to make breakfast for the two of you. “I’m the one making you guys food!”
“You’re also the one who woke us up, dingbat,” you scoffed, causing Nesta to snort.
It wasn’t long before Cassian was sliding a plate of pancakes your way. “Eat up. You have a long day ahead of you.”
You raised an eyebrow at him but accepted the food, scarfing it down. It was almost hilarious how out of the three of you it was Cassian who cooked the best. 
After breakfast, you retired to your room to get ready to go down to the River House for the real celebrations. Cassian had cryptically told you to wear pants, so you did. You had no idea why until hours later, when you were all lounging in the sitting room after lunch. 
A knock on the front door had you jumping up from your seat. “I’ll get it!” 
No one batted an eye as you raced for the door, pulling it open to see Lucien standing on the doorstep. You let out a noise of excitement, grabbing him in a hug.
“Lucien!” you exclaimed. “You’re here early!” 
A few weeks after the incident, Lucien had sent you a letter asking how you were faring and offering you support. He became a lifeline while you had dealt with the aftermath of saying goodbye to your mate and healing. You both leaned on each other during that time because you were simply the only two who understood the pain of having a mate who fell in love with another. 
“Happy Winter Solstice,” he said as you pulled away and opened the door wider so he could enter. “I’m actually here to retrieve you.”
Your brows furrowed in confusion. “What?”
“Is everything ready?” 
Your brother’s voice came from behind you and you whipped your head around to stare at him. He was wearing his flying leathers now only confusing you further. 
“Yes,” Lucien nodded. 
“What’s going on?” you asked, suspiciously. 
No one else followed Cassian out. Not even Nesta. You frowned as he shook Lucien’s hand, giving him a friendly whack on the back. 
“You’ll see,” your brother said with a grin. “Lucien is going to winnow us somewhere, kiddo, to your solstice gift.”
You looked between them with narrowed eyes but accepted Lucien’s outstretched hand. His grin was the last thing you saw before you were pulled away in a flurry of wind. A second later, you appeared in the middle of a clearing. 
The tall green grass, the slightly warm breeze, the lack of snow, told you that you were in the Spring Court. You whirled to face your brother who let out a sneeze as soon as he got his bearings. 
“What are we doing here?” 
“So, you know how when Feyre was brought back she was given a drop of power from every High Lord?” Cassian asked. 
You nodded, not understanding where this was going. Your hand slipped into your pocket, around a stone that was always kept there. The one Azriel had left you. You had never used it but for some reason, had never parted with it either. At some point, you had started holding it whenever you felt nervous or fell back into the heartache you had experienced last year. 
“Well, of course she inherited part of Tamlin’s shapeshifting powers. And we thought maybe she could shapeshift others the way he does, but after numerous tries, unfortunately it seems as though the sliver of power she received only allows her to transform herself.” 
“It was not fun being the guinea pig for those test runs,” Lucien laughed. “When Feyre was unable to do it, we had to turn to someone else.” 
“Okay, but what does that have to do with me? Or my solstice gift?” 
Before either of them could respond, a noise came from the shrubbery in the distance. Tamlin’s beast form pounced out from it, striding towards you. You gasped and backed away, right into your brother’s chest. He placed a hand on your shoulder.
“It’s okay,” he murmured. “He’s here as a favor to Lucien.”
“And Feyre and Rhys approved this?” you whispered up to him. 
He nodded his assurance.
You let out another gasp as Tamlin shifted back into his fae form. He looked well, better than the last time you had seen him at least. He seemed to have regained some weight and gotten a haircut. You knew he was still in the process of recovering his court. You wondered what sort of strings Lucien had to pull to get him to willingly let you and Cassian come here considering his history with your rulers.
He gave you and Cassian a polite, but bland, greeting which you reciprocated.
“Are any of you going to tell me what’s going on?” 
“Tam is going to help you shapeshift,” Lucien explained. “If you will allow him.”
“Shapeshift? But why would I–”
It clicked in your head, what they were implying, why they had brought you to this large clearing. You whipped around to look up at your brother who seemed to be holding back tears. He gave you a nod, already knowing what you were asking.
“W-wings,” you choked out. “He can give me wings.” 
“It won’t last forever,” Lucien said. “But yes, he can give you wings.”
Tears started slipping down your cheeks and you lurched towards Lucien, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling him into a hug. You…you were going to have wings. You were going to be able to fly!
You didn’t care that it wouldn’t last forever. Just the chance to fly once more was a gift in itself.
“Thank you,” you whispered into his ear. “Thank you.” 
Lucien laughed, hugging you back before you slowly pulled away from him. You looked over your shoulder at your brother. “This was your idea?”
Cassian shook his head. “As much as I wish I could claim this, it was actually Lucien who thought of this first. I’m just here to supervise–and to offer you a flying partner if you’ll have me.” 
You smiled up at Lucien, unbelievably touched at the thoughtfulness. Lucien wiped your tears from your face, gently, before placing his hands on your shoulders. “Are you ready?”
You nodded with enthusiasm.
Lucien gestured at Tamlin to come closer.
“Thank you for doing this,” you said to him with a small bow of the head. 
“I once watched a faerie die after losing his wings,” Tamlin murmured. “Its…Its a horrific crime. One my family has a history with. I’d like this to be my first step towards making amends for their mistakes.” 
You weren’t sure what to say, so you just gave him a grateful nod of the head. He focused intently on you and you felt his magic surround you. It felt nice, like a crisp Spring breeze. And then you felt a familiar weight on your back. You stumbled for a second, readjusting to how it used to feel having wings. But it surprisingly came back to you quite easily.  
You looked at them over your shoulder, stretching them out and flapping them a few times. They looked just like your brother’s and you realized Tamlin must’ve used him as a guide. You grinned, facing Cassian. 
“Race you towards the end of the clearing,” you shouted before taking off into the sky. 
Your brother’s laughter followed after you as he too launched into the sky. 
+++
Hours after night had fallen, you found yourself behind the River House, leaning on the railing to watch the slow moving river. Your wings had since dissipated, but you hadn’t felt this light in a long time. Being able to fly today had healed you in some way.
You had spent a lot of time thinking while you flew amongst the clouds. Thinking of who you used to be. Sometimes you missed that girl, sometimes you wished more than anything to be her again. 
But you hadn’t felt that today…
Today, you had felt like a new person. Like a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. And perhaps in a way, you were. 
Life had never been predictable. Your whole life had been filled with tragedy and sorrow, challenges and hard work, happiness and joy, regret and insecurities. You had gone through so much, so much, but somehow, you were always able to come out on the other side.
It wasn’t easy. It involved many days of despair, awful thoughts, and soulless recovery. You had to fight to get up sometimes, had to fight just to feel something. Sometimes it seemed like you’d conquer one mountain only to be faced with another. 
If it wasn’t for your brother, you were certain you would’ve fallen back a dozen times. But he had been your pillar of strength, your rock to rest against when things got too hard. And Mor and Rhys had been there to help lift you back up. 
You had gained new friends, found a new life for yourself. Metamorphosed into a new person. 
That girl from a year ago? 
Well, you were finally going to let her die. 
You reached into your pocket and pulled out the stone Azriel had left you. You ran your thumb over its smooth surface. It didn’t hurt as much to look at it now, not like it had before. Before it had represented so many things.
The loss of love, the grief of losing your wings, the reminder that he had betrayed you. 
But now…now it just looked like a rock. 
You gripped it in your fist and tossed it into the Sidra, watching as it hit the water’s surface with a small thud before sinking down into the black water. Down and down, until it would find its way to the bottom. Perhaps then it would drift out into the sea. 
You heard the backdoor to the house open.
“Hey, Y/n, come on!” Mor shouted out to you. “We’re going to Ritas!” 
You took one last look at where the rock had disappeared in the water, letting out a long breath. 
“Goodbye,” you whispered into the cold air. “I’ll see you in our next lifetime. Maybe then you’ll deserve me.” 
With a new weight lifted off your shoulders, you turned and marched back to your new beginning. 
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dumb young love
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1.9k words, summary: when art leaves you in the dust for tashi, a part of you breaks. after an argument art realizes how desperately in love he is with you.
request from @fangirlinc :)
you had gone and done the one thing everyone had warned you not to do. you had fallen in love with your best friend. i mean how could you not? he was handsome, charming, talented, funny, everything you could want in a man and more. you both had such bright futures ahead of you and just loved being in each others company. which is why you never felt the need to profess your love to him. but lately you've been rethinking this choice. 
you obviously knew how close art and patrick were, i mean you guys all practically grew up with each other. this dynamic never really bothered you, why would it? that all changed once tashi came into the picture. 
you had been there, at the match where it all started. you had come to support them like you always had, but within those few days something had shifted and you had no idea why. suddenly the boys were ditching you to go to a party you didn't even know they cared about. 
they had come back to you the next day, raving about how amazing tashi was and the night they spent together. you noticed a glint in art’s eye that wasn't there before, and you tried your hardest to suppress the jealousy you were feeling. 
that day, when patrick won the match, you couldn't help but feel relieved that art would remain yours just for a little longer. what you didn't realize is that art didnt care if patrick was with tashi, because he was still head over heels for her.
 
“hey are we gonna have dinner tonight?” you ask, throwing another tennis ball over the net.
“yeah, just gotta get back to my room and shower” art replies, hitting back the ball with a distraught look on his face. 
“is it tashi?” you sigh.
“what? no-no. i'm just stressed about my next match” he replies, walking over to the bench. 
“you're art donaldson. you’re never stressed about a match. c'mon just tell me” you say as you walk over to him. 
“its just. patrick called and all he can fucking talk about is how amazing tashi is. and then i walk around campus and all i hear is how amazing tashi is. no matter what i do i can’t escape her.” he confesses, putting his head in his hands.
“i can’t imagine you ever wanting to escape her” you reply, letting out a forced laugh. 
“what?” 
“cmon art, from the day you lost that match it’s like your entire world changed or something. i mean all of a sudden your whole life revolves around this girl” you scoff. 
“y/n i really don’t need this shit from you, i’ll see you later” he scoffs, picking up his bag and leaving the court. 
“art!” you call out, only for him to leave you there alone.
standing there you think back to when everything was fine. how art would link his pinky with yours as you walked. the way he would call you everyday when he had to travel for matches. the nights you spent in his dorm trying to cram week's worth of studying into one night. the way he would so effortlessly plant kisses to your forehead. the moments you thought he might actually be in love with you. but now all you had were those memories. 
 
before you knew it, all art was doing was hanging out and helping tashi train. he had been your training partner first, so it hurt like hell to be left in the dust. you decided to try and let it go and focus on winning your matches. your most important match was coming up and you couldn't let your silly love life get in the way. the one person you had always dreamed of being coached by was going to be at your match. so you knew you had to train like crazy to get to work with them. 
a part of you was hoping maybe art would see how amazing your match would be, and finally start paying attention to you again. but you knew you were holding onto false hope. 
 
the day of your match had finally come, and you’d be lying if you said you weren’t scared. this was such an important moment for your career and you couldn't shake those nerves. but you knew seeing art up in the stands would give you the boost of confidence you needed. 
the first set was about to start and you still didn’t see art in the stands. you felt your heart skip a beat at the thought that he might not show up. he would never do that to you. right? 
the first set had started and for a moment, the world around you started to fade. you may have hated tashi, but man was she right about tennis. you were performing flawlessly and you knew all the hard work was finally going to pay off. 
after winning your first set, you go back to your seat, taking a breather and still scanning the crowd for art. he was still nowhere to be found and you could feel your sadness turning into anger. deciding to use that as fuel, you prepare yourself for your next set. the rest of the game goes flawlessly and you know this is the best you have ever played. 
hitting the winning point, you stand in shock as cheers come from the stands. thanking your opponent you can’t seem to wipe the smile off your face. that is until you spot art in the stands. you could feel all the anger and resentment you suppressed fighting to be released. this had been your best game yet, and there art was, to ruin it.
packing up your bag, you felt a presence behind you. all spectators and coaches were long gone so you knew exactly who was behind you. turning around to face art, you push past him not wanting to hear a word he has to say. 
“y/n please i-” art calls out, quickly catching up with you.
“you what art?!” you yell, turning around to face him.
“you forgot? you had homework? you lost track of time? oh better yet, maybe you were with tashi?” you continue, looking up at him. you could feel hot tears threatening to spill from your eyes. 
he stays silent and thats all the answer you need. 
“oh my god you were” you whisper, stepping back from him. 
“please just let me explain” art pleads, a look of desperation you’d never seen before. 
“today was the most important day to me. and i really thought that as my best friend you would at least care a little more. but i know where your priorities lay. and i'm done fighting for a spot i’ll never get” you say as tears quickly spill onto your cheeks. 
art’s hand reaches up to brush away your tears, but you step back. 
“stay the fuck away from me art” you choke out, quickly walking back to your room. 
 
the next few days were hell. spending each day crying in your bed, you had lost not only the love of your life but your best friend. you had gotten a call offering to be coached by someone you could only ever dream of working with. you should’ve felt happy, ecstatic even, but the last conversation you had with art was still ringing through your head. he had called you far too many times and texted you even more. but you had ignored every single one. the first day he came knocking on your door, but gave up after an hour of waiting. the apology flowers he had sent you sat on your desk. you had no idea what you were going to do. until, you got a text from patrick. 
patrick 
hi love, art told me about what happened im sorry. 
y/n
hi, you don’t have to apologize for him being stupid
patrick
do you want to hang out today? try to get your mind off of him
y/n 
actually i would love to
patrick 
meet me outside at 2
getting ready to see patrick was a highlight from these past few days. while you were enjoying your sulking you knew you had to get out at some point. going out to the courtyard, you see patrick sitting on a picnic blanket. your favorite foods and snacks were neatly laid next to him. you felt yourself genuinely smiling for the first time in a really long time. you spent the next hour eating your favorite meal and laughing at stupid shit with patrick. although your heart still hurt, you could feel your spirits rising. 
“thank you for this patrick, it’s all so lovely” you smile. 
“of course i’ll always be here for you” he gleams, pushing away the hair around your face and leaning in to kiss your forehead. 
“what the fuck?!” 
you would recognize that voice anywhere. 
“art what are you doing here?” patrick stands up to face him. 
“oh i dont know maybe i go to school here? what the fuck are you doing here patrick?!” he replies, getting closer to patrick. 
“seriously y/n? you run off to patrick?” he questions, obviously distraught but you can't seem to place why. 
“hey you don’t get to blame her for this” patrick replies. 
“oh fuck off patrick would you let her speak” 
grabbing arts hand, you quickly lead him away from the public spectacle this was all becoming. 
“what the hell is wrong with you art?” you yell, shutting your room door. 
“i mean, you completely forgot about me for some other girl and now you're mad at me? none of this makes sense, you broke my heart. you don't get to be angry.” you continue, feeling tears brim your eyes. 
he paces for a second, running his hands through the curls you missed so much. 
“im in love with you” he stops, looking down at you. 
it felt like you were dreaming, like you were imagining the words that just came out of his mouth. 
“i always have been. i've just been so stupid about it. when tashi came around i threw myself at her because i thought there was no way you would ever feel that way towards me. and i know i fucked up by doing that, i really really fucked up. but when i picture my life i see you, i've only ever seen you. and seeing you with patrick, i was scared i lost you. i'm sorry y/n, i really am. i would do anything to take it back.” he confesses. 
“you’re so stupid!” you yell, pushing his shoulders. 
“ive been in love with you for like, forever!” you look up at him, confused as to how he never realized. 
“really?” he asks, pure shock all over his face. 
“yes! i thought it was obvious” you frown. 
before you knew it he was holding your face in his hands, planting a kiss on your lips. in that moment everything felt right, like the stars had aligned. 
“y’know i'm still mad at you” you look up at him, placing your hands over his. 
“trust me, i will do everything to make it up to you. i'm just glad you're finally mine” he couldn’t seem to wipe the smile off his face as he kissed you again. 
976 notes · View notes
81folklore · 9 months
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heaven - OP81 - part 2
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pairings: oscar piastri x private!secret!reader (fc: gracie abrams)
summary: a very sweet softlaunch ends pretty quickly
authors notes: first of all a huge thank you to everyone who has liked, reblogged and taken the time to read my works it means so much to me and im so so grateful!! next, this is something i made at 1am so please bear with me😭. i am working on the lando and charles stories i PROMISE but i want them to be special and i currently have zero thoughts about where to take them so it might be a while🫣 also i almost finished this when tumblr DELETED IT?? i want to cry😁 ALSO i started this at like 1am and i cant be asked to do tweets rn so insta smau it is
part 1 part 3 masterlist
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yourusername
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liked by yourfriend2, user7 and 583 others
ahahah i love the beach and my friends
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yourfriend2: dont be fooled she called me crying after the fourth photo bcs she lost 5 games of uno in a row
yourusername: i called you in confidence and this is how you repay me??
user6: its fine we know how emotional uno can get😁
yourusername: ??
user7: im so single hahahahhaa (im dying inside)
user10: is it confirmed that this is oscar?
user9: im not being funny but oscar doesnt even follow her so i think yous are just reaching
user10: …they have the same dog??
yourfriend6: might aswell post his face at this point
yourusername: leave me aloneeee im having fun!!
oscarpiastri
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liked by clementnovalak, paularon_ and 93,357 others
second part of the season incoming 😁👊 (after a very competitive round of uno)
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user7: ready to see you up on the podium🧡
user10: uno you say?
user3: right could they be more obvious😭
yourusername: its race week babyyy
*liked by oscarpiastri*
user17: literally what is happening why are all of the grid softlaunching😭
user8: and why does it always end in the hardest of launches
yourusername and oscarpiastri added to their stories
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yourfriend2: 😭😭
yourusername: i am sick and tired i just want to POST him but softlaunches are so fun😔
yourfriend2: its really fun when everyone already knows?
yourusername: no but we are in too deep now☹️
user6: god you guys are insufferable
user23: JUST POST THE CUTE COUPLE PHOTOS ALREADY
user23: i lied please dont im so single it hurts
yourusername
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liked by oscarpiastri, landonorris and 6,572 others
the world through my eyes☀️
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oscarpiastri: i love you sososo much
oscarpiastri: my favorite person in the entire world
yourusername: ur literally my sunshine🫶
yourfriend1: god you make me SICK
yourusername: ..okay😁 oscarpiastri i love youuu🤭
landonorris: i hate people in love (you guys are very cute)
user10: THE NOTE OH
user18: THE HARDEST OF LAUNCHES HAPPENED
user7: he is her world oh my lord
user63: and the fact that hes her sunshine too😭😭
user63: literally crying myself to sleep
oscarpiastri
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liked by danielricciardo, yourusername and 143,572 others
my happiness
view comments
yourusername: teheehee thats me🤭
yourusername: i LOVE YOUUU
yourusername: i didnt know you took photos of me like this☹️
oscarpiastri: of course your my favorite🧡
yourusername: oh could you get any cuter🫠
yourfriend4: thought you should know yn is currently jumping up and down and giggling while looking at this
user23: I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU NOT TO POST THESE?? I CANT HANDLE THIS??
user8: god really saw me sad and said ‘heres the happiest and best couple, wallow more’
user16: YOU GUYS ARE LITERALLY THE CUTEST?? THE NOTES?? THE POSTS??
user1: i cant stand people in love (i want to cry and drown in my tears)
yourusername: oh my god im so obsessed with you
oscarpiastri: i loooove youuu
oscarpiastri added to their story
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yourusername: ahhhhh im so☹️
yourusername: osc☹️☹️ur literally the cutest thing to exist
yourusername: my boys🫶🫶
yoursusername: im so in love with you sunshine☀️
oscarpiastri: love you, thank you for showing me happiness🤍
2K notes · View notes
sleepyhollands · 9 months
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false god
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PAIRING harry styles x reader
SUMMARY harry’s having trouble finding enough time to spend with y/n, even after she drops everything and joins him on tour. when they talk, they only seem to argue. when they don’t, they only seem to fuck.
WARNINGS she’s an angsty one— lots of miscommunication, poorly executed arguments, and general couple fighting content. BUT!! there is lots of really cute fluff at the end :> also, beware of smutty content such as soft!dom harry (my favorite), oral (f!receiving, implied m!receiving), unprotected p in v, a brief hesitation to get naked on y/n’s part, an even more brief mention of bondage play, harry leaves like one love bite, and tooth-rotting holding each other while having sex content. lmk if i missed anything!
WORD COUNT 5.5k
AUTHOR’S NOTE fun fact this was supposed to be done months ago and then literally everything that could have gotten in my way did just that. but she’s here now!! writing this was a challenge but i feel so good about it now that it’s complete and i can’t wait for you all to read it. please lmk you enjoyed by leaving feedback and/or reblogging!! special thanks to @cherryjuiceblues for beta reading for me <3 ily <3
LOVER SELECTION one-shots here.
copyright © sleepyhollands. all rights reserved. || my masterlist.
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“harry, it doesn’t matter if—”
“it does to me!”
“hey, there are two people in this relationship, you know.”
“yeah, an‘ one of ’em feels like right shit on what’s meant to be the greatest tour of his life! doesn’t that mean anythin‘ to you?”
“of course it does, i just—”
“really? ’cause y’could’ve fooled me, love.”
“harry, i swear, if you interrupt me one more time, i’m booking the next flight home.” 
… tour had been going really well for harry! he was playing back to back sold out shows in some of the biggest cities in the world, with adoring fans lining up by the thousands, itching to hear him sing live. he’d already had some really sweet interactions on stage, and no crazy mishaps had occurred (he was especially proud of himself for having ensured everyone’s safety so far). just in the last week alone, he’d been nominated for three different awards for his newest album and performances. anyone could see that he was living a dream— the dream, really. the kind that only comes true once in a blue moon. 
and yet… tour had been going really poorly for harry. now, he doesn’t like to complain about much; he knows just how fortunate he is, and actively tries to see the bigger picture when frustrated. but it was really hard to zoom out of his particular situation when he was so zeroed in on a particular aspect that had been bugging him for weeks— y/n. 
don’t get him wrong! y/n herself wasn’t what was bothering him. it was more so her presence, and his… lack thereof. 
if there’s one thing harry prides himself on more than anything, it’s being an attentive lover— even in the most innocent and platonic of ways. he tries his absolute hardest to be a supportive brother, a considerate son, a (hopefully) decent role model to those who look up to him, and especially a present, loving boyfriend. and for the most part, he’s just as successful in those aspects as he is in his career. in fact, y/n regularly speaks of how harry treats her like she hangs the stars in the sky just for him, how he makes her feel like the most special girl in the world. 
but this tour was taking its toll, and harry was taking it out on y/n. he’s never been great at communicating everything in the most positive of ways— that’s where he turns to songwriting— and he’d let his emotions get the better of him after letting them build up for the past couple of weeks. he wasn’t proud of himself, but he needed an outlet. 
harry didn’t mean to start the fight. but when y/n asked him where he’d been after a last minute management meeting following that night’s show kept him an extra half hour later than he said he’d be, it was like all the frustration just erupted. inadequacy is one of his least favorite feelings (next to loneliness), and being a barely-there or only-sometimes-there boyfriend couldn’t be more of a trigger for that particular emotion. 
now here they were, vexation filling the tour bus around them like a fog they could barely see through, inhaling it with every breath and releasing it back into the atmosphere surrounding them. harry huffed out a sigh, arms crossed and brow furrowed as he angrily looked out the window of the tour bus to distract himself for a moment, having to mentally step away from the argument at hand, even if just for a few seconds. watching as the dark streets outside shined with the headlights of other vehicles, he found himself wishing he were in one of them. it would be nice to be in a car alone, nothing but his thoughts and some music to keep him company. 
but he had real company. she was standing not six feet away from him, emulating his defensive position with her arms drawn across her own chest, jaw clenching and relaxing every other moment. when he finally turned to look at her again, he exhaled loudly. 
“we were crazy to think that this could work,” he mumbled, barely audible to y/n, but she was able to make it out. 
even when they fought, the girl seemed to be in sync with him, inhaling deeply, subconsciously countering his previous expulsion of breath. the yin to his yang.
“what are you talking about?”
harry groaned at her words. how didn’t she get this? “y/n, i’m never around! i wake up when you’re still asleep, prepare for the day, go to the venue, help set up the stage, sound check, rehearse a bit, and then ’m off t’go get ready for a show that lasts two hours. almost each night! i come back exhausted and aching to sleep! where d’you see yourself fitting in there?”
when y/n realized it was her turn to speak again, she said, “first off, do you think you could please calm down a little? i can’t talk to you when you’re like this.”
his eyes narrowed. “like what?”
“when you’re acting like a child, harry! i mean, for god’s sake, i’m not nine! i can handle hanging out on my own for a few days at a time and just getting to cuddle with you at night until you have a day off. it’s not like i don’t have things to do throughout the day, too.”
while harry tended to say things he didn’t exactly believe in the heat of the moment, y/n meant every word she uttered. she really was content relaxing in the tour bus or a hotel room taking care of work on her laptop, catching up on new episodes of her favorite shows, or even going out to explore whatever new city they were in by herself. harry had breaks between show days once or twice a week, and the thought of having those days to themselves was enough to sate her desire to spend time with him. it annoyed her that he didn’t understand that, as she’d never been the clingy type and was always very self-sufficient. 
“oh, i’m acting like a child, am i? right, i didn’t realize that wanting t’be present in my relationship with my girlfriend was childish, but hey, you learn something new every day, i s’pose.” 
oh, y/n was really starting to seethe now. letting her arms fall to her sides with a frustrated puff, she began again. 
“god, harry, you’re not childish for wanting to spend time together! i’m saying you need to realize that i’m perfectly capable of waiting for your days off to really spend time with you. you’re acting like we can’t function without each other!”
“the whole idea of you comin‘ on tour with me was to have this time together, y/n,” harry fired back. “if we’re barely going to get to see each other anyways, then what’s the bloody point?”
harry might have spoken too soon. at least, that’s what he thought as he laid overtop y/n on the tour bus couch, because now the point might very well be getting to just feel her lips on his every now and again. 
it was late; harry had just come back from a show. usually, he’s too tired to do anything but crash onto a cloud-like mattress after all the jumping around he does on that stage, but this time all he wanted was his girl. it’d started innocently enough, with harry pulling y/n into his lap on the worn, red leather of the couch. his hands roamed along her hips and down to her waist beneath her soft hoodie (which wasn’t even technically her’s, but is it really theft if harry just leaves his clothes lying around for her to nab?), exploring the soft expanse of her skin, not straying any lower. her own hands were hidden in his curls, lightly scratching at his scalp in what she hoped were soothing motions. 
harry knew he was done for once he initiated the kiss. tentative at first, he pressed light pecks along the corner of her mouth, quick and feathery, like he didn’t really care if he got to kiss her so much as he got to hold her, or simply be with her. but soon, the eagerness set in, like he wasn’t sure when the next time he’d get to have her was, and suddenly he was capturing her mouth with his own, barely giving her a chance to breathe as he tasted her. while harry never really believed in a higher power, he could have sworn he found religion in her lips. 
things only escalated from there. it wasn’t long before harry was wrapping his muscular arms around y/n, so tight that he accidentally squeezed too hard, earning a squeak from the girl. he muttered a hushed but sincere “’m sorry, darling,” to compensate. one hand supported her head, the other splayed across her back as he laid her against the cushions so that he could keep loving on her on the way down. he relished her little whimpers that she tried so hard to suppress, grinning against her jawbone, her neck, any skin he came across on his journey south to more pressing territory. 
harry didn’t bother removing y/n’s hoodie, opting instead to push it up past her naval in favor of gaining access to the waistband of her fluffy sleep shorts. he felt her hands tighten their grip ever so slightly on his shoulders as he hooked his fingers under it, relaxing again when he rubbed the pad of his thumb delicately along her hipbone, reminding her it was only him. 
it was a thing with y/n. she loved harry, of course she did, and she trusted him more than anyone. and maybe it was the way she was brought up, or perhaps a few poor experiences with sexual partners in the past, but there was always a fleeting moment of anxiety before shedding the clothing barrier before sex. like dipping a toe into a cold lake and hesitating a little, then ultimately deciding that jumping in wouldn’t be so bad. 
harry never pried. the first few times they’d slept together, he noticed her nerves, and asked her if she was sure she wanted to continue. y/n had said yes each time, and after a while, he stopped asking. but still, whenever he noticed that brief nervous shift, harry gave her a chance to change her mind. 
this time, he bided his time by sponging tender kisses right above where his fingers were still half hidden under her shorts. he wanted her to feel safe, and taken care of, and he hoped his gentle touches and even breathing could remedy her anxiety. as he waited, harry’s mind drifted…. he was getting lost in the feel of her soft skin, its dips and curves and blemishes. he thought about her waist, how his hands fit so perfectly against its sides; her tummy, and how the muscles there jolted when he tickled them; and her hips… god, if y/n’s body was a church, her hips could be the altar. harry was ready to say a prayer right then, thanking every higher power for blessing him with this gorgeous girl—
“harry?” his love’s melodic voice interrupted his thoughts, and harry’s eyes snapped up to meet hers, his nose continuing to skim just above her navel. “um… you can keep going. please.” 
the corner of harry’s mouth quirked upward, and y/n could have sworn she caught a glimpse of mischief in the jade of his irises, but it was gone in an instant, as he wasted no time in stripping her of her bottoms.
“god, h-harry,” panted y/n, her grip on his curls constricting with every lick to her core, “’s so good, oh—”
“would feel even better if y’stopped trying t’run away from me, wouldn’t it? don’t wanna have to tie you down.”
y/n couldn’t help it! it wasn’t her fault if harry’s tongue was just too good and her body’s natural reaction was to attempt to escape his grip for a little relief. if anything, he should be happy— they’d been at this for so long y/n lost count of the minutes, and after two toe-curling orgasms, one would think harry’s jaw could use a break. 
but that thought flew out the window when y/n remembered who she was metaphorically in bed with. 
“’m sorry…,” she whimpered, gripping the side of the couch cushion as her eyes squeezed shut.
“don‘ have to be sorry, darling,” harry mumbled against her folds, chin glistening with her arousal as he placed a soft kiss to y/n’s clit, making her jolt in his hold. he breathed a short laugh, adjusting his arms so that one held her upper thigh next to his head, while the other pinned her hips to the red leather, restricting her ability to move. “jus’ wanna make you feel as good as possible, is all. will y’let me?”
harry turned his head, nipping at the inside of the girl’s thigh, and she gasped at the brief assault on the softest skin of her body, now adorning the mark of his front teeth that she loved so much. she shuddered a breath as best she could, and harry could tell by the way her knuckles were turning white in their grip on the couch that she was trying her best to be good. feeling a twinge of guilt, he figured maybe he should offer her a second to breathe. y/n opened her eyes when she felt harry’s lips retreat from her aching cunt and the weight of his head rest against the love bite. 
“hey.”
y/n cast her gaze down upon the boy (who looked far too innocent, considering what they were doing) with his cheek laid on her inner thigh, stray hairs tickling her just a tad. playfulness swam in his eyes, but there was an underlying current of concern. 
“doin‘ okay?”
she nodded, gulping. harry noticed. 
“because we can take a break if you want to. just say the word, okay?”
“i will, i-i promise. but… can you please keep going?”
that was all he needed to get right back into it, only with even more fervor than before. when y/n reached her third and final peak of the night, her whole body shook, and harry had the pleasure of getting to watch as he helped her ride out her high. he almost came in his pants, rutting his hips into the sofa, moaning against her core, begging her give it t’me, love, that’s it.
harry pulled back when she started pushing at his head, whining for relief as he gave one final lap at her core. he grinned at her fucked-out figure as he wiped his face on his forearm, then took her hand that had been grasping at the cushion in one of his, bringing the back of it to his lips for a gentle kiss. 
“feel all right, baby?”
“mhm,” she hummed between heaving breaths, glancing at what she assumed could only be a quite painful stiffy between his legs as he sat up, “do you?”
harry followed her line of vision, offering her a chuckle and an i’m fine, using his free hand to smooth his thumb along her brow. before he could even register it, her palm slipped from the grip of his other hand and traveled down to rub against the bulge in his pants, earning a sharp hiss from her boyfriend and a deep groan soon after. 
“why don’t you let me repay the favor?”
harry was pretty sure y/n was asleep. if she wasn’t, she was definitely on the verge— her breaths were deep and even as she laid in his hold, her head on his chest, ear pressed overtop his steadily beating heart. and who could blame her? the evening’s activities had worn her out, which meant harry had done his job properly. he was more than happy to be wide awake, running his fingertips up and down her arm, inhaling the sweet scent of her fruity body wash while she dreamt if it meant she was rested and content and happy. 
moments like these made harry think they could get away with it. the long hours spent apart, the hectic schedules, the fighting. sure, it was tough, and yes, they both had a temper that rivaled one another’s for the ‘least amount of patience award’ on any given day. but every missing ounce of patience was compensated by double its weight in love. they loved one another enough to make it work. 
they could make this work. 
right?
“jesus, harry, how do you think that makes me feel? you’d honestly rather i not be here? are you actually that insecure?”
“c’mon, y/n, you know tha’s not what i meant.”
y/n felt like they were going around in circles, having the same fight over and over again. only this time, the couple found themselves in a beautiful hotel room, with a beautiful view overlooking a beautiful city. and instead of getting to enjoy it, y/n was glaring at harry though the vanity mirror, his back facing her as he tamed his wild curls for tonight’s show… which he had to leave for in just a few short minutes. 
the balled up fist on y/n’s hip flew up to her face, fingers flexing to pinch at the bridge of her nose as her eyes squeezed shut for a moment. 
“i can’t believe this. i dropped everything to be here with you— to support you on the most incredible tour of your career— and instead of being happy i’m here as opposed to the alternative of thousands of miles away in a different time zone for months, you’re sitting here bitching about being too tired?” 
harry sighed deeply, only infuriating y/n more. “you’re missing the point. ’s not that i don’t want you here, or just that ’m too tired. ’s knowing you’re sitting around by yourself, waiting on me while ’m working, when you could be out with friends and family, or sleeping in the comfort of your own bed—”
“that you’re not in!” the girl loudly interjected— how didn’t he get this? “i put all those things aside for us, har. it’s not like i’m leaving my life behind for years. christ’s sake, the tour is over in two months! but somehow, being away from my home and routine is easier than being in the same room as you right now.”
harry contemplated his next words carefully, turning them over in his head a few times and editing any obvious mistakes, leaving the pair of them to marinate in suffocating silence for a good ten or so seconds before he finally spoke. 
“y/n… i can’t be a good boyfriend and a serious artist simultaneously, okay? not while ’m on tour. i can’t keep losing sleep over how well i’m balancing—”
“okay, you know what, harry? you know what? maybe you should just leave me, then. wouldn’t that be easier? you’d be able to sleep better at night, right?”
they both knew she didn’t mean it, though harry couldn’t lie and say it didn’t hurt to hear. but she was pissed, and harry knew better than to try to reason with her when she was like this. 
when she realized he wasn’t going to respond, instead electing to stare brokenly into the mirror, she continued. “you know damn well how hard i work for this relationship. i’ve flown across the oceans that have separated us, driven for hours just to get to see you for, like, one— hell, i’ve skipped some of my most important classes so we could go to shitty dive bars in the middle of the day together! yeah, remember that? i love you, okay? people who love each other are supposed to be grateful for any time they have together at all, no matter if it’s every day or once a year.”
y/n took a breath, finally cooling down after her heated rant. she took a moment to take in the sight of her boyfriend, dressed so vibrantly, feeling anything but. 
“they warned us about times like this,” the defeated tone of y/n’s whisper was enough to finally get harry to say something. 
“what was that, love?”
the girl swallowed the little saliva in her mouth before speaking up a mere decibel. “remember what my parents said? ‘the road gets hard, and you get lost when you’re led by blind faith,’” she imitated her father’s deep voice, and if not for the circumstances, harry might’ve laughed. 
they weren’t lost, were they?
if there was such a thing as heaven on earth, y/n is pretty sure she’s been there. in fact, she goes there whenever harry so much as touches her. 
when he kisses her shin as they lay watching a movie together on the couch, pulling her leg up off his lap and craning his neck downward to meet it in the middle. when he runs his fingers down the bridge of her nose, making an exaggerated boop! noise once he reaches the tip, gently pressing against it like a doorbell. and especially when he has her like this. 
harry’s arms felt secure wrapped around y/n’s torso, her hips moving back and forth atop his own. the feeling of his cock twitching and shifting inside her while her nipples rub deliciously along his chest made her dizzy, like she had just gotten off a loopy rollercoaster. harry’s back arched just slightly off the plush mattress of their hotel suite’s bed when y/n gave a little bounce, arms constricting around her and forcing a pleased sigh to fall from her lips. 
the girl hid her face in the crook of his neck, and harry could feel each and every hot breath against his skin. lost in pleasure, he let his large hands migrate from her hips down to her bum, where he gave a small pinch to the flesh, eliciting a yelp and a small jolt from y/n. 
“sorry, baby,” he laughed, “couldn’t help m’self.” harry gently flattened his palm against the now tender skin, rubbing there softly in an attempt to soothe the little ache he left. when he felt satisfied, he shifted to rubbing between her shoulder blades instead, his other arm still wrapped around her lower back as she returned to her previous rhythm above him. 
y/n could tell harry was enjoying himself. his groans alone were evidence enough, not to mention the little utterances of “shit, darling,” and “so good t’me,” he frequently let slip. but perhaps he just needed a bit more to reach his high, because without warning his hands were on her thighs, gripping tightly as he began to thrust upwards into her at a much quicker pace than she had originally set— it had her seeing stars in a matter of mere seconds. 
“oh, god— harry,” y/n gasped out, gripping the edge of the plush pillow by harry’s ear. she could feel him hitting that special spot inside her with every snap of his hips, and she couldn’t stop her eyes from rolling back into her head, muscles tightening all throughout her body. 
“almost there, angel… just…,” harry’s thrusts began to slow, becoming more deliberate, and now he was moving her hips to grind against his each time they met, sending y/n over the edge. 
y/n’s moans were long and drawn out as she came, body spasms making her hold on more tightly to harry for stability. she didn’t even hear him finish, too busy reveling in the euphoric feeling of cumming in his arms, surrounded by warmth and love and feeling the safest she had in a long while. 
it was moments like these where y/n couldn’t fathom how she’s ever been upset with harry. he was perfect, lying here under her unsteady body, breathing deeply not only to catch his breath, but to take in the smell of her. she wanted this for eternity. and if this was heaven, then surely hell was when they fought with each other. 
y/n thought she was dreaming at first, not used to being roused from her slumber by anything other than her well-timed alarm and the occasional bark of a dog on a nearby street. she expected that after blinking the sleep from her eyes a few times, the vague image of her favorite boy would dissipate, and she’d fall back into the comfort of her warm pillow. but when she squeezed them shut once, then twice, and her boyfriend’s face was still a foot away from her’s, brushing his fingertips up her nose and along her brow, she set aside her exhaustion in exchange for confusion.
now, harry knew better than to wake y/n up. in most circumstances, she’d tell him off, or gently kick at him to get him to leave her alone. he found it rather endearing, and it’s one of the reasons he’s so protective of her in her sleep— always holding her close to keep her safe, shielding her eyes from any light intruding on the space she lay, making sure both their phones were set to ‘do not disturb.’ but he had to make an exception, just this once. 
“darling,” she barely registered his whisper, “wake up f’me, please?”
a whine fell from y/n’s lips, her eyes scrunching shut as she turned her body away from him, which harry knew was code for let me sleep, for fuck’s sake! a smile graced his lips at the action, jotting down a mental note to make this up to her later. 
compensating for the newfound distance between them, harry scooted closer to her. he kneeled on the floor next to the bed, close to the pillows she rested upon. he laid one arm against the mattress, perching his chin on the back of his wrist. using his free hand, he continued to brush his fingertips lightly against his love’s cheek, her jaw— all along her face, really. god, her loves her face so much.  
“please, baby?”
harry had just come back from one of his best performances yet— the crowd’s energy was unmatched, the chemistry between him and his band members was palpable, and he’d managed to not get hit with any flying objects all night! but what really did it for him was the fan project he was surprised with at the end of the show. thousands of people in the room wore light-up bracelets that shone pink and blue during one of his favorite songs, ‘love of my life.’ if harry’s heart had been any more full in that moment, it might’ve exploded right there in his chest. 
he had been on cloud nine for a moment. but soon, realization washed over him in a way that squeezed at his lungs, stealing his breath for a second. the love of his life was somewhere miles away, probably sitting in their hotel room watching a comfort film, oblivious to anything he was feeling on that stage. he just wanted to go home to her and gush about what had happened, and how he wished she’d been there, and how it made so much sense that it would happen during ‘love of my life’ because it was the perfect representation of the amount of love he had for his, and how if she’d have been there, he would have looked directly at her and smiled the whole time. 
it made him realize how bloody stupid he was.
in retrospect, the conversation he’d needlessly just woken y/n up for could have waited until morning. but then harry wouldn’t have been able to sleep if he didn’t tell her he was sorry right away. 
a groan sounded through the room, followed by the ruffling of bedsheets as the girl turned back over to glare annoyedly at harry. he let out a soft laugh at her behavior. 
“’m sorry, baby. know you jus‘ wanna sleep right now, but ’s it okay if we talk for a mo‘?”
“now?” y/n asked in a gravelly voice.
“now, m‘ love.”
with a soft sigh, she relented, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes with her knuckles. harry caught the motion, bringing his hands up to pull hers away from her face. he didn’t like when y/n did that, as she always managed to do it too roughly. instead, he held her smaller hands in his own, getting up to sit on the edge of the bed, facing her. 
“what is it?” y/n asked through a yawn. harry looked at her for a moment— really looked at her— before responding.
“i’m sorry.”
it took her a moment to register his words. “for waking me up?”
harry laughed that dreamy laugh she loved so much, and it almost made up for the fact that she was up at twelve thirty in the morning. “no, y’little minx. not for that. well, yes, for that, but that’s not what i meant.”
“what are you sorry for, then?” 
harry looked at her with an expression y/n couldn’t place. it look him a few beats to speak. “i… i’m sorry i was such a prick before. i love that you’re here, an‘ that i get t’see you when i’m off. know you put aside a lot for this, an‘ i ruined it with m’own problems. didn’t mean to.”
y/n’s features softened at the boy’s sincerity, and if it weren’t for the warmth his hands encapsulating hers provided, she’d have reached out and held his face, peppering kisses over every dip and curve. 
“i know you didn’t…. i’m sorry, too.”
“for what?”
“i should’ve listened better. you were trying to tell me how you felt and i just disregarded it. that wasn’t very nice of me, either.”
the right corner of harry’s lips tugged upwards, morphing his mouth into that little half-grin y/n adored so much. “think we can get past it, darling?”
the girl scooted forward the tiniest bit, harry’s magnetic pull too hard to resist. though they were the only two in the room, she whispered, “i’ll forgive you if you forgive me.” harry liked how she made something so simple sound like a secret deal between them.
harry’s half-smile quickly quirked up, completing itself, and y/n swooned over his dimples and adorable bunny teeth. a short and quiet breath of a laugh fell past his lips, and for a moment, he just looked at her. but his gaze caught a glimpse of uncertainty in her eyes, and his grin faltered a bit. 
y/n was always good at hiding her true emotions when she wanted to. not when it really mattered, don’t get her wrong— she wasn’t one to take anyone’s shit. but at dinner with her parents or meetings at work, she was able to pretend she wasn’t exhausted or annoyed. it never worked with harry, though. he could read and understand her like his own lyrics, and tonight was no exception. he saw through the mask of humor at her uncertainty, and a pang of guilt bloomed in his chest. 
he let out a sigh as he beckoned her forward by gently tugging her hands, still in his, toward him. “c’mere, baby,” he said softly, pulling his love into his lap. y/n curled into him, knees tucked upward into her chest as his strong arms found purchase around her frame, holding her tenderly but securely. one of harry’s large hands held the back of her head against him, her ear right over his heart, listening to it beat for her. 
“love you like crazy. you’ve no idea.” he peppered light kisses to the top of her head, so softly she might’ve missed one or two. “thank you for comin‘ an‘ s’porting me. means the world, honestly.” 
“i’m happy to be anywhere with you, har,” she replied in a voice honey-thick with sleep. “even if it’s just for a few minutes. always so happy to have you.”
harry closed his eyes, laying back into the pillows, bringing y/n down with him so that she was laying overtop his sturdy body, inhaling his every exhale. 
“you have me,” he said, though he was almost certain she didn’t hear him, likely already pulled into the void of sleep, drawn in by the comfort of harry’s arms, his smell, him. 
“you’ll always have me.”
taglist (final time using the old one, see new link in bio): @fahsey @caswinchester2000 @lmaotshollandd @jackiehollanderr @nervousdadmode @amii-nyc @skitmix @auggie2000 @voguesir @yourgoldengirls @hunnybunimdun @lolooo22 @atoris-fantasy
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marvelsmylife · 3 months
Text
Can you feel my heart breaking?
Pairing: Azriel x reader 
Plot: what happens when the male you’re meant to be with is pining over someone else.
A/n my first angsty Azriel one shot. I did not make this an anti-elain story. I love her and will never write a story where she's being mean to anyone. My girl just wants to take care of her garden in peace. I’m contemplating making a part two to this. Let me know if you’d be interested in a part two.
ACOTAR Masterlist
Part Two
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There was nothing worse than watching your mate pine after someone else. Granted, Azriel has no idea that you are their mate. Still, it pained you to watch as your mate followed another female around and made sure she was ok instead of you.
The worst part was that Elain was oblivious to Azriel’s feelings towards her or that you were Azriel’s mate. She treated you with nothing but kindness, making it harder to hate her because she was innocent in all of this. 
Someone who did know about Azriel being your mate was Rhysand. He sympathized with your situation because he was in your position before with Feyre and Tamlin. He was also grateful that you didn’t hold anger towards Elain for the situation you were in. 
Rhysand tried everything he could to keep Azriel away from Elain for your sake, and you thought maybe one of these days, the bond would finally snap on his end. 
That changed one night when you overheard Azriel questioning the cauldron for making Lucian Elain’s mate. You felt your heart break at his words because that meant he’d probably deny your mating bond when it finally snapped into place for him.
The following day, you asked Rhysand if you could be sent to the day court for a while. While he was initially opposed to it, he reluctantly agreed because he knew you had family in the day court and that Helion would treat you right over there. “Yes, you may go. I’ll contact Helion and work everything out,” Rhysand sent you a weak smile: “Just promised me you’ll come back to us. You know you’re like a sister to me. I don’t want to lose you too”.
“Of course, I’ll come back. I just really need to get away for a bit. You’ll never lose me. Unfortunately for you, you’re stuck with me for life,” you replied.
Rhysand let out a soft chuckle before giving you a brief hug and letting you go so you could start packing.
It took Rhysand two days to contact Helion and inform him that you were headed to the day court. Helion told Rhysand you were welcome to stay with him and was excited for your arrival. 
Throughout those two days, you spent it packing and giving individual goodbyes to your friends. Each time, they would question your reason for leaving. Not wanting to lie to your friends, you told them about Azriel being your mate and not being able to be around him when he was hung up on someone else. They understood your situation, and instead of trying to convince you to stay, they wished you luck on your new adventure.
The one goodbye that took you by surprise was Elain. Tears formed in her eyes when you revealed you were leaving: “I know I never said this to you before, but I considered you one of my best friends here. I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.”
Shocked expression appeared on everyone’s faces at Elain’s confession. Mostly because by now everyone but Azriel knew you were his mate, and they knew how much it hurt you to see him pining over the woman who just called you her best friend. “Everything is going to be ok; you’re going to be ok,” you replied, giving her a tight hug: “And if anything, you can always visit me, or I’ll visit you if you’d like.”
“I will be sure to take you up on the offer,” Elain responded and pulled away.
Azriel was the last one you said goodbye to and for you, it was the hardest one, mostly because he was your mate. “Please take care of yourself Azriel. Don’t stretch yourself thin. That means it's ok saying no to Rhysand's requests from time to time,” you teased at the end causing Rhysand to playfully roll his eyes at you.
“Don’t worry, I will,” Azriel promised; his hazel eyes scanned your face and noticed hurt and sadness in your eyes: “Are you ok? You know you don’t have to go?”
You tried your hardest to keep it together as you replied: “I’m fine. I want this, I’m just going to miss all of you, but I’m especially you.” 
A surge of confidence flowed through you and before you could process what you were doing, you hugged Azriel. This was the first time you’d ever hugged him and yet the moment you hugged him, Azriel felt complete.
But just as Azriel was getting comfortable with your embrace, you pulled away and placed a kiss on his cheek: “Take care Az.”
Azriel felt as if someone knocked the wind out of him as soon as you walked away and got into the carriage Helion had sent out for you. It took him a few seconds to realize it was the mating bond snapping into place for him.
“She’s my mate,” Azriel fell to his knees as he finally felt the mating bond he so desperately wanted to feel for the past five hundred years: “Y/n is my mate, and now she’s gone.”
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liveontelevision · 2 months
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Another Lucifer Rant | Lucifer x Reader
I'M BACK BABY
Give this man a dorky partner ffs.
Lucifer Rant (Pt. 1 kinda)
Warnings: SMUTSMUTSMUT +18, Fluff, Some mentions of overstimulation
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Imagine Lucifer at his best. Sure, when you first get together, it's rocky. He needs someone to help him rediscover himself, and that takes a lot of time and energy from both of you. But after a few years, you start to see who he used to be; When he was an elder angel, daring to break the rules and pursue his dreams no matter what. It occasionally led to some destruction, but seeing him now able to recover from it so easily? It melts your heart. You were sure he wouldn't withstand the failure, but he can handle it. He can handle it because of you.
You praise him for branching out into other inventions and creations, but you'll always love his little ducks more than anything. That being said, you're not the only one seeing his creativity thrive. Hell managed to become a brighter place, with golden decorations and structures that were purely made for public enjoyment. Maybe Charlie's rubbing off on him, but he's finally taking charge of his realm and focusing on his subjects. Seeing Charlie at her best only fuels him more. She's living the life he wanted to when he was her age, and now, he had some catching up to do. He was determined.
PDAs:
With his confidence growing, he starts becoming more comfortable with PDAs. You never minded them, but it was nice to see him letting out his emotions in any way. He started off by holding your hand around others. Even though he would always become a blushing mess, even pulling away if he got too embarrassed by you smiling so geniunely at him, it was progress. It then became something he almost whined about when it wasn't happening. He wants you to hold his hand until it's uncomfortably sweaty and even after.
Lucifer would give small pecks to you as well, on your cheek when you walked in the room, your hair if you were sitting and he had access to the top of your head, and when he was in an especially good mood, a sweet peck on the lips before he'd leave.
Truly, the hardest part was saying I love you. In public and in private. What a strange phrase to get so flustered over when youve been with someone for years, and it did take years, but when he said it to you for the first time you damn near cried. After that, you would try to pepper it into conversations casually, in hopes his embarrassment or shame in the phrase would dissipate. Eventually, it did, and he grinned every time you'd say it, eager to return the phrase.
Now, you do your best to respect his boundaries, but one day it just slipped out of you, in front of a few residents and staff, one of them being Charlie. You didnt realize what you had done wrong, and honestly most of the others in the room didnt either, but once you saw Lucifer's overwhelmed expression it clicked that you may have messed up. You looked around to gauge the room and casually walked over to his shrinking form.
"I'm sorry, my love." You leaned in a bit to whisper to him," Do you need to step out? Should I say anything?" You did your best to stay calm, to be his anchor in this situation, but he cleared his throat and picked up his voice a little louder than your previously hushed tone. "L-Love you, too..! Sweetheart.." it was a small intimacy, but dear lord, were you proud of him. You could tell he struggled to do that, even if no one else paid attention to it. His eyes darted to Charlie, who was suddenly meeting his gaze from the other side of the room, and her eyes were absolutely wide and full to the brim with pride.
You had a few conversations with Charlie about everything. She didn't want too many details, just an update on how he's handling himself when she's not around. As he would get better with confiding his feelings to others, he would eventually talk to Charlie about issues and concerns, but for now, you were happy to relay the news to her.
He's her father, of course she wants nothing more than for him to be happy. It's not like she didn't see his struggle, so she couldn't help but feel pride for this little affection and any of his progress. She was quickly pulled away by Vaggie to avoid an outburst of happy tears in front of everyone, which Lucifer didn't mind. You gave him a quick peck on his forehead after looking around the room and took your seat next to him, continuing a conversation that you barely remember starting.
There were some situations where he would let you perform the PDAs. Sometimes, you would push his limits just to see how far he'd go. He wasn't super into movie nights, but Charlie really loved the idea of watching and discussing movies with wholesome values; an exercise to get people to know eachother amd have healthy debates on certain topics that definitely wouldn't turn into arguments. It happened about twice a month, good movies becoming harder to find in Hell.
You sat next to him close enough that your plush thigh was against his leg. He didn't seem to care too much, I mean, he loved it, but he didn't get too flustered. You would reach your arm around the back of the couch to simulate wrapping your arm around his shoulder, brushing your fingertips across the back of his shirt every now and then. The first time you did it, it took him by surprise, but after that, you could see the enjoyment of your touch.
You made sure to sit on the couch behind everyone else. Otherwise, he would feel the need to constantly look over his shoulders. You would try a few things, like placing your hand over his, then interlacing your fingers, then bringing it to your lips whenever the screen would go black and plunge the room in darkness. He seemed to handle it pretty well.
One night, you'd start off by leaning towards him and sitting on your legs, resting your head on his shoulder. He would respond by hesitantly placing his hand at your waist. You snuggled into him a bit more, making him redder in the face, but also giving him a subtle you're doing great.
If he did ever get too uncomfortable, he'd pull a blanket up and around both your shoulders, giving him a sense of security. On another night, you tried to pull him into you. It happened throughout the movie. You would pull him in by his waist, and he would scooch closer to you, then he would prop his arm up behind you and press his cheek against your shoulder. This was definitely a favorite position of his. Some tiring days, he would nod off. You made sure to wake him before anyone noticed.
Privacy:
After a while, he'd especially love touching you in private. When you would sit on his little couch and work on your own things in his office, he would take breaks and come over to lay his head in your lap. If he's lucky, you'd be reading or doing something where you only needed one hand, so your vacant fingers could be used to lightly comb through his hair.
He would take any chance to be above you, leaning down over the couch when you were sitting and giving you light kisses, or wrapping his arms around you while he stood on the elevated platform his workbench was set on.
With all the issues he had to overcome, you noticed he never really seemed too upset over his height. He was an angelic all-powerful beast, it's not like he was forced to look that way. I mean, you saw him shapeshift, he could easily add a few feet to his height. Actually, sometimes it seemed like he enjoyed the height difference. Whenever you would have to bend at the hips to give him a level kiss, he would make the goofiest grin. Or when you'd wear heels, he would constantly offer to fasten them on your feet and shower you with affection, then in public, he'd place his hand around your hips instead of linking your arms like usual.
Goofy Stuff:
His overly confident mask that he would use to intimidate others and laugh off serious situations was finally becoming more sincere. You loved seeing him that way, bringing smiles to everyone in the room when he spoke. When it was just the two of you, all his energy went into making you smile. And it always worked, he would make you giddy.
He loved to simply be around you. When you had to get ready for some kind of event, he would sit next to you at your vanity, simply watching you doll yourself up. He'd praise you, "you look so beautiful, darling~" then he'd tease you, "you know, i think that color would look much better on me." And you weren't one to back down, applying a thick layer of gloss to your lips and pulling him in to transfer as much as you could onto his lips. You pulled away, unphased, and went back to your makeup. "Hm! I agree! I'll let you wear it more often, then." He'd stammer out some sort of angry reply and cross his arms over his chest, having to admit defeat.
When you'd come home and would need to wash your face, you'd repeat your skin care routine on him. He didn't need it, but he loved to feel your hands touch and massage his face. In exchange, you'd force him to let you groom him (preening his wings, maybe cleaning up his eyesbrows, styling his hair in new ways, etc.) If you had the energy for it, that is. It was like clipping a cats nails. But the reaction and the outcome were so worth it.
You'd do his makeup on occasion, sometimes going far too dramatic for his taste just to watch him struggle to admit it wasn't his style without insulting you. You'd admit it was on purpose, and he'd tackle you playfully. Like before, you both ended up with the same lip color afterward.
You loved to get eachother flustered, sometimes youd pat him on the bottom when moving past him just to see him dramatically gasp." My love, we're in public! Right in front of Keekee??" He'd dramatically gesture to the cat who quite literally left the room while he was talking.
He'd blow into your ear when you were distracted, sending a chill down your spine. You'd knock your head into his on purpose, and he would swoon, crying out about being mistreated. Truly a theatric man.
Overall, he was finally bringing a geniune confidence to the table and you couldnt be prouder of him.
18+ Intimacy:
He was quick to discover he liked all the fluffy, cuddly stuff, but it took him years to rekindle any kind of sexual attraction to anyone. It was another big insecurity that he had, wondering if it was one of the reasons he drove Lillith off. It's not like he had anything to compare his work to, but he definitely didn't need to worry. Practice makes perfect. (And he was with Lillith for thousands of years.. so... plenty of time for practice.)
At first, you'd take the lead. You didn't mind. You loved taking care of him. After he'd suggest you two become more intimate, you'd still have to stop after some deep kisses and light grinding. Not that he would finish so soon, he just didn't have the stability to even imagine going through a night with your intimate gaze on him for so long. After a while, you'd start sitting on his lap, constantly reassuring him and giving him praises for doing so good. "If you need to stop, let me know, my love. Tap me -" you would lead his hand to the top of your thigh, " - if you can't find the words, okay?" He would let out a nervous chuckle, subconsiously giving your thigh a soft squeeze at the motion before nodding his head.
You had to talk him through everything, and dear lord, did he love hearing your voice. As ironic as it is, he would melt at any praise you gave him." You're doing so good, sweetheart," "You like that, love? You look so beautiful right now~", "Mmm, keep that up, you're doing so well." No matter how much you tried to keep your voice calm and sultry, he really enjoyed and almost preferred your hitched breath and sweet words directly by his ear. The phrase that got him going more than anything? "I love you, Lucifer." The combination of those words and hearing his name slip from your lips almost always made him whimper quietly.
When you first heard him whimpering, you would subtly check on him, making sure he was doing okay without embarrassing him and calling it out. Oh, he was doing okay. More than okay.
You would usually proposition him, but sometimes, he would blatantly ask you if you two could be intimate. It was always so cute when he did that. But one day, he asked shyly for you to sit, then he hesitantly sat on your lap. Your rosie cheeks grew even redder, and you placed your cool hands on your face to try and calm yourself. It took you a second to finally look up at him, his expression even more embarrassed than yours. You hated to admit that it made you feel better, but it really did. You took your hands and placed them on his cheeks, which were much hotter than yours. He rubbed his face into your palm, his hand holding your wrist to keep your touch close.
After a moment, he'd lean down to kiss you, it was just bliss. The rare view he had, looking down to meet your eyes, left him happy to give in to his more intimate desires. After being seated on your lap for so long, and finally adjusting to the unconscious grinding that would go on, he'd start to reach for the edge of his pants without much thought. Once he had pulled out his shaft, your eyes would quickly widen and break away from the kiss to assess the situation. Before you could, he lifted your head back to look into his eyes, suddenly glowing red. "P-Please, can I.. i don't know if im ready for, b-but- I need - " his eyes were a threatening color, but you noted that he was still struggling with this decision. He still needed some time before letting you touch him that way.
You pulled him in for another kiss, "I won't look or touch, okay? That's what you want?" You clarified, running your hands through his hair. He nodded shyly, his hand still holding onto himself. You smiled and reconnected your lips. "Okay, love. I don't mind at all - " you reassured him, taking his free hand and kissing his palm. Looking up at him through his fingers, you grinned into his hand, grazing your teeth down his wrist." I would be honored, actually." You say bravely, the situation giving your boldness a boost. He would let out a nervous laugh that seemed almost too loud, then follow it by sucking in his lips to not embarrass himself anymore than he already has.
Keeping up with his speed, you did only what he was comfortable with. Doing only what he wanted from you. It made you almost arrogant to feel him stroke himself and whimper into your lips, getting off just from your kisses alone. You would break away only to leave some soft kisses on his neck. You attempted to leave a hickey or two below his jawline, but he quickly tapped your thigh, wordlessly telling you that was too much. "Good boy~" you'd breathe against his neck, seeing his chest heave at the words. You moved down to his collarbone and chest, slowly beginning to suck in and bite his porcelain skin there. He let out a muffled agreement and nodded his head, more accepting of somewhere that would be easier to cover. You left almost too many bruises on him after that. To be fair, any blossoming mark was exentuated against his sensitive, white skin.
It didn't take too long for him to finish after that. He let out a gasp, then a muffled moan as you felt some of his fluids leak onto your stomach. He didn't even let himself get over his high before pulling a tissue out of thin air and cleaning you up. You let your head lean back, looking towards the cieling as he situated himself, keeping your promise to not look until he's ready. "O-oooh dear.. That was... Gross, right? Sorry.." You quickly look at him and scoffed, holding onto his face and pulling it close. "Don't say that, Lucifer..! Thank you for trusting me with this..." You brushed your thumb across his cheek, his expression still disheartened." I wouldn't have let that happen if I didn't want it, you know that. Besides, if you're really concerned, i'll just have to join you next time." You teased a sly smirk across your face. His eye twitched, and you could feel the heat in his face return." Good lord, I don't deserve you." He squeaked out before standing up and almost tripping over himself, complaining about his stiff legs right away.
Side note: I feel like when he would complain about being sore at all, you'd joke at him and say things like, "Oh, don't be a baby." And he'd reply with a joke, "Woah there, save the dirty talk for the bedroom." And that's what triggers you to start calling him baby any chance you could get, especially in the bedroom.
Going all the way was a big step. He was more comfortable starting on top of you,  but just like before, he realized how much he preferred, loved, to have you ride him. You made sure he had the tapping system in effect, but he would constantly check on him the first time he asked to try it this way. You were almost ashamed to admit you got a bit carried away. With you almost hitting your high, you probably took on more than he could handle. You didn't realize until you looked down at his face. His eyes were shut tight, a tear or two rolling down his heated face, and his lips were parted and letting out pathetic little noises. A face that some might see as a demon drunk on sex, but you knew you had taken him a little too hard. You slowed down, his breath finally becoming lighter." I-I'm sorry.. I-I -" his voice was raspy as his began apolgizing." No - don't be. I'll be gentle." You finally started back up, a slow grind, after letting him catch his breath. "Remember to use your words, baby - " You took his hand and planted it on your thigh as another reminder to communicate his thoughts. He nodded, a slight hitch in his breath as you spoke. You went on to cherish a more intimate night with him.
That's how it started, but as time went on, your playful relationship came to the bedroom. Lucifer would be in the middle of grinding his hips into yours, attempting to say something flirtatious in your ear when his voice would crack, or he'd say something that didn't come out right. You'd cover your mouth in an attempt to not laugh." Oh, cmon! I'm trying to be sexy here." He'd waggle his eyebrows at you and youd bring him into a smiling kiss. "Well, i'd say you're doing a great job, babe." You spoke so sincerely afterward that he'd become a little flustered. "O-Oh.. you.. think so..?" You hummed against his ear,
"Nope~"
He'd let out an aggravated groan and start to get off of your lap." No-no! I'm sorry, i'm kidding! You're sexy, come back!" You'd laugh out, reaching for his hips and planting him back onto your lap." Damn right, I am." He'd grumble, smashing his lips against yours in a suddenly intense kiss. In all honesty, probably to shut you up.
---
You love him so dearly. You barely realize how much he loves you, maybe due to how badly he struggles with his words. As time goes on, all Lucifer wants is to give himself to you. Give every little bit of his love to the one who's spent so much time caring for him and helping him become a better person. He'd sometimes consider that he could never be able to return the favor.
But he would. You knew he could.
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I'll still take requests for some Luci prompts if anyone's thirstin'
Also, I have over 100 followers?? Which i wasn't expecting to happen when I first made this account (literally made it just to look at Hazbin smut if i'm outing myself) So thanks for all the support! This is such a great community 🥹
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Guilt
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Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader
Synopsis: Y/n lies unconscious in a hospital bed while Spencer drowns in guilt. You had felt that Spencer was cheating on you with Maeve and were going to stay with someone else before you got shot. Finding this out causes Spencer to snap and lash out at one of his closest friends.
Part 2
Word Count: 2,866
A/N: This has been a WIP for years! It was apart of a series with my own OC but I decided to change it to a Reader fic. The amount of WIPs I have is ridiculous!!!!!
Spencer sat at Y/n's hospital bed in silence. Tears were continuously streaming down his face, his breaths were shaky and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from your unmoving face. 
There was a tube coming out of your mouth to help your breathing. So many different wires were coming out of your body and attached to multiple beeping machines. 
He was holding your right hand in both of his, your skin wasn’t freezing cold but it was colder than he prefers it to be. 
You had only came out of surgery half an hour ago but they won’t know if it was successful until you wake up. Which could be between the next few seconds and never.  
Never was something Spencer was trying his hardest not to think about. 
There was so much he needed to tell you. So many things he had to say. 
The last time you were together you had fought. You told him that he’s been speaking to Maeve too much and that he's been ignoring you. Spending more time with this woman. 
Spencer had told you that you were being ridiculous and then you had to go on a case and Spencer never got the chance to talk anymore about it. 
You had been furious at him and now Spencer was angry at himself as well. 
He had called you ridiculous for coming to him about your feelings. This resulted in you refusing to be his partner in the field. Which led to you going with Morgan. Which ended in you getting shot. 
This is when Spencer’s brain began connecting things that didn’t match up. 
If he had listened to you he could’ve gotten you out of harm’s way. 
Not speaking to Maeve meant you wouldn’t have fought and you never would’ve been shot. 
He was supposed to protect you. 
It should be him lying there. Not his sweet girl. 
There was a knock on the door and Spencer barely reacted as Garcia and Emily came in. 
“Hey, how is she doin’?” Emily asked softly. 
Spencer turned his head a little towards them, “She... uh.” His voice cracked and he cleared it before trying again, “They said everything went well but we won’t know the damage until she wakes up.” 
Garcia's eyes watered as she stared at your body. “When will she wake up?” 
Spencer's eyes filled with tears, a sad smile forming as he squeezed your hand, “When she’s ready.” 
His phone buzzed in his pocket and he took it out to see that it was Maeve. 
Again.  
Along with the twenty missed calls from Maeve.  
He rubbed his eyes before pressing answer, “Spencer Reid.” 
“Oh my God. Spencer, I’ve been trying to reach you all day. Are you alright?” 
This statement didn’t sit well in his stomach.  
If you miss an appointment with your doctor, they don’t leave twenty missed calls on your phone.  
They wait for you to reschedule. 
He glanced at the other two women who were trying their best not to listen in. Although Garcia was looking particularly peeved about something.  
Then he glanced down at you and any words he was going to say to Maeve turned to ash in his mouth. He felt sick.  
Now he understood what you meant. 
“Now, isn’t a good time. I’ll call you next week.” He didn’t wait for a response before he ended the call and put the phone back in his pocket. 
Garcia shifted uncomfortably, “Was... was that her?” 
“Who?” Spencer’s brain wasn’t even functioning at 20%. He couldn’t think things through clearly. 
“Doctor Maeve.” Garcia mocked. 
Spencer frowned, “Yes. Why?” 
Emily gave Penelope a pointed look. 
A look that did not go unnoticed by Spencer, “What? What is it?” 
Emily put her hands up in a calming gesture, as if trying to approach a cornered animal. “Spencer. You must understand, we don’t mean to pry but Y/n spoke to Morgan and he didn’t know what to do so he told Garcia, who told me.” 
Spencer rubbed his eyes for the fourth time in ten minutes, he did not have the energy for this, “Told you what? What are you talking about?” Spencer was getting agitated now. Why can’t they just tell him? He hated not getting to the point. 
“Well, Y/n came to Morgan two weeks ago and was quite upset.” 
Spencer frowned as he looked at you again. Two weeks ago? You didn’t seem upset two weeks ago. 
“She had some concerns about this doctor that you’ve been speaking to.” Emily explained. 
Garcia huffed, “She told Derek that she had suspicions that you were cheating on her.” She spoke with daggers in her eyes. 
Spencer froze.  
What?!  
He stiffened in his seat as he stared at his unconscious fiancé in shock.  
You thought he was cheating on you?  
You might never wake up again and your last thoughts of him would be the fight and thoughts of his, supposed, adultery.  
How?! How could you think that he could even look at anyone that wasn’t you? 
“I. Would. Never.” He punctuated every damn word so they got his point, trying to blink away the fresh batch of tears that filled his eyes. 
“She planned to stay with Morgan and Savannah for a couple of days-" Garcia told him. 
Spencer tore his eyes away from the bed to gawk at Garcia, “She what?” 
Emily placed her hand on Garcia’s arm and spoke next, “Yesterday, Derek had... overheard one of your conversations with the doctor and he spoke to Y/n about it. So, she decided she would go and stay with him for a few days to sort out her head before coming to you about it.” 
Spencer was furious. Not only did you think he was cheating on you, half of the team now suspected him of it too and no one even had the decency to ask him. And what was this phone call that was so damning that Derek had to run and tell his fiancé? Why didn’t Derek just ask him instead of almost ruining his relationship without him even knowing about it! 
Spencer was shaking with rage. He stood abruptly from his chair and turned to the girls, pointing to Y/n’s bed he ordered out, “Stay with her.” before he stormed outside to head to the waiting room. 
He saw red. He couldn’t think of anything except for the anger he felt. 
Quickly turning the corner he saw the rest of the team sitting and talking as if nothing was wrong. 
J.J noticed him first and stood up, Hotch, Rossi and Morgan following suit. 
“Spence, any news?” she asked gently. 
Spencer didn’t even hear her; never slowed his pace either. As soon as Morgan was within arm’s reach he clenched his fist until his knuckles turned white and swung as hard as he could.  
His fist made connection with Morgan’s cheek and from the shock of Spencer’s actions it knocked Morgan off kilter. Morgan stumbled and placed his hand to his cheek. 
The punch clearly did more harm to Spencer than Morgan, but he didn’t care. The pain in his hand was welcomed. It cut through the hurt that was clutched around his heart. 
The others cried out in shock as they tried to digest what just happened. 
“What the hell, kid?!” Morgan yelled at him. 
“’What the hell’ is right!” Spencer growled back as he stepped up to the other man and pushed his shoulders, “Sneaking behind my back? Telling my fiancé that I had some secret affair because of some phone call you didn’t hear the entirety of!” 
Spencer was seething, the rest of the team gaping at him never having seen him so furious before, “You could’ve just asked! But no, the whole team had to get involved. And now I hear she was planning on living with you for a few days?!” Spencer clenched his possibly broken fist again. “She’s in a coma and may never wake up again and her last thoughts of me will be the thought that I was getting with someone else.” 
Spencer inhaled sharply as his rage at Morgan turned to rage at himself. 
“Spencer!” J.J shouted, “Stop!” 
His sharp inhales quickly turned to hyperventilation, his brain was in overdrive, a million thoughts and memories were spinning around his head and he just wanted it to stop. 
So he stopped it the only way he knew how.  
Instead of hitting Morgan, Spencer turned at the last second and hit the wall. 
He fell to his knees and cried as he hit the wall again and again and again and again. 
Blood smeared across the white wall as he broke the skin on the knuckles. The physical pain overrode his senses and he chased the feeling. 
That was until Hotch grabbed him by the shoulders and pulled him away from the wall causing Spencer to lose his balance and fall back into Hotch's arms which quickly locked around him. 
“Stop! Get off of me! Hotch, let go!” Spencer squirmed as he tried to fight against his boss. His back was pressed tightly against Hotch’s chest, his legs bent in front of him and he kept slapping at Hotch’s arms to let go. 
Hotch just shushed him and held him tighter. Completely understanding his anger. He’s been there and the best thing for Spencer is to calm down enough so he can go back and sit with Y/n instead of giving in to his anger and doing something else that he will regret. 
Once Spencer figured out that he wasn’t going anywhere the fight drained out of him and he stopped slapping at the arms circled around him.  
While Spencer was hunched over Hotch gave the rest of the team a nod to clear the area and give the two some space. 
Hotch pulled one Spencer’s shoulders to shift his position so that Spencer curled into his chest. 
Once Hotch placed a comforting hand over Spencer’s head a sob broke past his lips and the entire dam broke. Spencer cried his heart out.  
He could barely breathe, inhaling only made him choke on his sobs and made him feel worse. 
“What if I never get to speak to her again?” he whispered between sobs. “Never get to tell her that she’s the only one for me.” 
“Spencer you need to breathe.” Hotch told him gently, “You need to calm down. Breathe with me.” 
Spencer felt Hotch’s chest rising and falling against him. He closed his eyes and tried to follow his boss’ actions. 
After a moment, Spencer was finally able to take a deep breath. The oxygen flooded his brain and the fog cleared. His entire body shivered before he came to his senses. 
Blinking hard he realised he was curled into Hotch’s chest, cocooned in his arms.  
He shouldn’t be here.  
He was sitting on the hospital floor instead of in with Y/n. He slowly sat up and Hotch let his arms fall from around him. 
“You alright?” 
Spencer wiped his left hand over his face, “Fine. Fine. Yeah. I need to uh, I need to go to Y/n.” 
He put his right hand behind him to support his weight, but an agonising pain shot through his hand and he fell onto his elbow with a grunt. 
“Here, let me see.” Hotch knelt over him and held out his hand. 
Spencer shook his head and used his other hand to support his weight as he got off the floor, dusting himself off as best he could, “I’m fine.” He held his right arm close to him as he stood up straight.  
He looked around and noticed that J.J, Rossi and Morgan are nowhere to be seen… which is probably for the best. 
The shame of what he’s done washed over him like a bucket of ice water. He just punched his best friend in front of his team then proceeded to have a break down in his boss’ arms. 
“Spencer.” Hotch called out. “You’re not fine, let me see your hand.” 
Spencer shook his head and walked out of the waiting room without saying anything. 
Stopping just outside Y/n’s room he looked in the window, you hadn’t moved a muscle.  
Emily was sat by your bedside holding your hand. 
The pain of the possibility of losing her was too much for him. His only relief was the slow rise and fall of your chest.  
His eyes were already puffy and sore, and he felt dehydrated. He sighed as he raised his left hand to wipe the tears away, cursing himself for his behaviour. 
“Spencer.” Hotch stood at his side, “You need to get your hand looked at, and I’m sure the nurse wouldn’t mind doing it by Y/n’s bedside.” He knew Spencer probably doesn’t want his hand looked at for at least three reasons; he doesn’t want to leave Y/n’s side for much longer, he feels embarrassed or shameful or he feels the need to punish himself. 
He agreed as long as he can stay beside Y/n, “Okay.” He opened the door and the bleeps of the machine’s filled his ears.  
That was your heartbeat.  
He lowered himself into the chair at your right side and raised his left hand to hold hers. His right hand was tucked into his chest. The throbbing was excruciating but he welcomed it. 
He pointedly avoided Emily’s worried expression before she smiled at him and left the room without word. 
A nurse came bustling into the room a few moments later with a tray of equipment, clearly fetched by Hotch. She stood next to him and Spencer raised his hand to let her do what she needed to do. Hissing as she cleaned the cuts on his knuckles. 
The nurse didn’t mind his silence and talked calmly to him as she worked, “You did quite the number on your hand.” She wiped away the blood and inspected his fingers, “You’ve definitely broken a few knuckles, I’m going to wrap your fingers in a splint and then bandage you up, okay?” 
Spencer nodded, “Okay.” He said quietly. 
She taped his middle and ring finger together and then bandaged his entire hand down to his wrist. “Now, keep this on for the next two weeks and then come back in so we can give you an x-ray and review the damage.” 
Spencer nodded, “Thank you.” 
The nurse left and Spencer was alone with Y/n once more. He stared at his right hand that was now resting on the bed.  
How could he do this? Throw a tantrum while the love of his life lies in bed fighting for her life. 
He leaned forward to rest his arms on the bed. 
“Hi.” His voice shook, and he cleared his throat. He hasn’t been this nervous to talk to you since you first met. “You always told me that I needed to talk more, but I- I have no words for what I’ve done. I’ve done something terrible. Actually, I’ve done a few terrible things.” The tears formed once more, and his head pounded from the pressure. “I may never get the chance to say this to you but I am so, so, sorry. I made you feel that you weren’t special to me anymore, that I don’t love you which is the furthest thing from the truth.” 
Spencer played with a strand of your hair that was laying on your shoulder. 
“How could I ever be with someone else? No one could ever, ever take your place in my heart.” 
He gently lifted your hand in both of his, his head felt heavy, so he bent over and placed his forehead on the back of her hand. “I love you more than anything in this world. When you wake up I’m going to spend every second of the rest of my life making it up to you. And I know you wouldn’t want to miss that. So, please wake up. Please.” 
He had been talking when it happened so he never heard it. 
You weren’t breathing in the same rhythm as before. 
When he finally noticed, he frowned as he looked you over. He slowly got to his feet as he scanned the machines. Right before his eyes some of the numbers began to climb as others started to fall. 
Spencer scrambled past the chair and ripped open the door to your room, “Doctor! I need a doctor here now!” He yelled out before running back to your side, “Y/n, sweetheart if you can hear me; don’t give up. Please.” 
Two doctors and a nurse sprinted into the room. 
“Sir, sir!” The nurse grabbed Spencer’s shoulder, “We need you to leave.” 
Spencer shook his head frantically, trying to keep up with everything that the doctors were saying to each other, “I can’t.” he whispered to himself. 
“Sir! Please!” The nurse pushed at Spencer’s shoulders until he was outside the room and the door was shut in his face. 
The rest of the team had heard the commotion and had run to the room as well. 
Rossi placed his hand on Spencer’s shoulder as the entire team watched the doctors place paddles on your chest and shock you. 
Again. 
And again. 
And again. 
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nrnyx · 8 months
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PROMPT: How about Derek and Stiles meeting at a dog adoption event and falling in love over the same dog.
Thank you @steelcodewolf-blog for the prompt!
Stiles ran up to the counter and slammed his application down. “For Sparky!” he gasped out of breath as he’d just sprinted the entire mile to the adoption agency after his jeep broke down. It was finally the day. Stiles was free of his lease agreement and moving into a pet-friendly apartment. He could have a dog - his dog because he’d been visiting Sparky for months now after seeing his cute picture online. 
The animal shelter staff held Sparky as long as they could for him, but he’d been warned that today was their big adoption fair, and Sparky would be part of the group being pushed hardest for adoption. Sparky had already been with them for nearly a year before Stiles showed up, and before that, poor Sparky had been shipped from another shelter in New York. The shelter couldn’t hold him if someone wanted to adopt him. 
Stiles hadn’t been too worried. One of the reasons Sparky was still around was because he was a rather large and somewhat alarming German Shepard mix that might have actually been a wolf-dog, but the shelter didn’t have the funds to test his genetics, to be sure. Sparky had never been aggressive or tried to attack anyone. He was a chill dog that loved belly rubs, so he remained up for adoption. 
The staff even said that Stiles was the only person Sparky had ever shown an interest in. Sparky didn’t really like toys, wasn’t interested in other dogs or attention of any kind really, but he liked Stiles. The staff said he already knew the sound of Stiles's jeep and only ever bothered barking to alert them that Stiles was coming. Stiles adored the old grump right back and had visited him at least once every few days with the hopes that no one else would take notice of just how awesome Sparky was. 
Being a newly graduated college student and an intern with the FBI didn’t exactly bring in the big bucks yet, so Stiles had to wait for his lease to be up in order to find a new place to live that allowed pets. He’d managed to scrape up enough extra money for the rather hefty pet deposit and had Sparky a new bed, food, and dog tags waiting for him in the jeep, which they would have to walk back to, but he was sure Sparky would like the chance to stretch his legs.
It was going to be awesome.
Martha’s face fell as soon as she realized it was him, and Stiles felt his heart falling right along with her look of pity. “Stiles…” she started, but Stiles didn’t give her time to finish.
“Where’s Sparky? Please tell me you didn’t give him to some stranger off the street! I’ve been coming in for months!” Stiles protested in disbelief. How could they betray him? He thought they were all rooting for him and Sparky. He’d told them he would be in by the end of the day. They promised that even if someone tried to adopt, they wouldn’t let Sparky leave the same day. They’d make an excuse to hold him as long as they could for Stiles.
“I’m so sorry, Stiles. I know how excited you’ve been. This must be so heartbreaking for you, but his dad showed up,” the woman explained with actual tears in her eyes. 
Stiles couldn’t find his voice. That had been the last thing he’d expected to hear. “His dad?” he finally managed to get out. “His dad?”
“Yes, he had proof -” 
“He lost him! He lost him for over a year, and you’re just going to let him walk in and take him! Just like that? Clearly, the guy wasn’t a responsible dog parent to begin with. I mean, what kind of evidence did this guy have?”
“Uh Stiles…” Martha tried to interrupt, but Stiles was on a roll. There was no way Sparky was going anywhere with anyone but him. 
“Because photos can be photoshopped, and videos can be falsified. I know! I work for the FBI. Who is this guy? I want to see some I.D. and this so-called evidence. No one is leaving here with Sparky until I hear this assholes side of the story because there’s no way Sparky - ”  
“Jacks,” a male voice spoke up from beside him, and Stiles was momentarily left speechless as he turned and caught sight of, frankly, the most attractive guy he’d ever seen in his entire life, and he’d gone to school with Jackson Whittmore. 
“Holy shit, adopt me,” Stiles mumbled before his brain-to-mouth filter could catch up.
The guy's eyebrows did something impressive. “What?” 
“What?” Stiles asked back equally as dumbfounded. Honestly, he was just as surprised as anyone at what came out of his mouth sometimes. 
“Stiles, uhh… meet Sparky’s…  I’m sorry. I mean Jacks’s dad, Derek Hale,” Martha introduced as Stiles's big brain tried to get back online. “Apparently, Jacks was stolen about a year ago. His dad’s been looking for him ever since. He tracked him down here all the way from New York. Crazy, right?” Martha laughed nervously as she looked between the two.
Stiles eyed Derek Hale for a long moment and already felt himself accepting this new disappointing reality. The guy looked like Sparky’s dad. They both had a certain wolfishness about them that was undeniable. Honestly, Derek Hale had to be the most dedicated dog dad in the world to have tracked his lost dog all the way across the continent. 
Stiles felt himself deflating. “I’m glad you guys are reunited. I’m sure Sparky - I mean Jacks is pumped to see you again.”
Derek fished his phone from his pocket and turned it so Stiles could see the screen saver, which was truthfully the most adorable picture of the two together and obviously happy. “After he was taken, it took me a while to track him down. I found out that a shelter in New York shipped him to the West Coast, thinking he’d have a better chance of being adopted, but they couldn’t tell me where he ended up. I started checking shelters in Washington and was working my way down the coast when I saw an ad for today’s event. Jacks picture was part of it.”
“I’m glad you found him,” Stiles offered again, unable to look at the guy as he said it even though he did mean it. He couldn’t even get that kind of dedication out of a boyfriend. This guy was like a superhero or something. “Cool, well I gotta go…” 
Derek opened his mouth to say something, but Jimmy from the back was calling for him. Stiles knew Jimmy was the one who typically got the adopted dogs ready and brought them out to greet their new owners. He needed to get out of there. Stiles didn’t think he could say goodbye to Sparky- well, Jacks, which was a much more suitable and dignified name, he supposed. 
Derek, with his man stubble and leather jacket, looked like a guy who would own a dog named Jacks. 
More proof that they fit together.
While Derek was distracted, Stiles slipped away, shoulders slumped as he started the long walk back to his jeep. About halfway there, a familiar bark froze him in his tracks. Stiles turned just in time to see a black pickup slowing down to a stop beside him. The passenger window was down, and Jacks's big head was sticking out of it. 
“Do you live around here?” Derek called from the driver's side as he leaned out of the way of Jack’s aggressively thumping tail. 
Jacks whined, and Stiles immediately reached out to soothe him, running a hand over his massive ears and scratching how he knew Jacks liked. This earned him a great big lick across his face in return. Stiles laughed, swatting playfully, but Jacks only pushed closer, beginning to lick Stiles in earnest.
“That’s amazing. The shelter told me about you visiting him. I didn’t believe them at first. Jacks has never taken to… well, anyone else really,” Derek spoke up again, amusement clear in his voice as Stiles tried to fend off all the affection being lavished on him. Jacks had never been quite this excited to see him either, but it was a very welcome shift after the heartbreak he’d been feeling a moment ago. 
At least Stiles knew Jacks would miss him too. “Yeah, me and him… we kind of bonded while he was waiting on you.” Stiles shrugged in reply taking a small step back and almost giving in again when Jacks whined in protest.
Derek glanced at Jacks, before reaching out and patting him on the back in a reassuring way. “They said he was pretty depressed before you came around. Wasn’t eating much or leaving his kennel,” Derek explained. Stiles hadn’t known that part, but he was glad he helped Jacks until Derek found him. It was at least some comfort he could take home with him.
“I should uh… get back to my jeep,” Stiles said, pointing his thumb in the direction he was walking. 
As much as he liked seeing Jacks he really wanted to get home and have a good cry in private. Not only was he losing Jacks, but Jacks owner happened to be an insanely hot guy right out of Stiles's fantasies and entirely out of his league. It just reminded Stiles of exactly how lonely he was these days. Loneliness and his last breakup had been the whole reason Stiles was on the shelter’s page looking at adoptable dogs in the first place. 
“It’s parked a little down the road. I need to call a tow,” Stiles felt the need to explain, hoping his ears weren’t as red as they probably were. It was a bit embarrassing, but the jeep had been his mom’s, and he only had a few more years as a lowly FBI intern before he could afford to get it fixed properly. Maybe he could get his pet deposit back. That would help pay for the tow truck he was going to need to call. 
 Derek leaned over to unlatch the door. “Hop in. I’ll drive you down there and take a look. I’m a mechanic.”
Stiles couldn’t help how his mouth fell open. Could this guy be any more perfect? The only thing that would be better was if he were - 
“And maybe you’ll let me and Jacks take you to dinner… you know, as a thank you for looking out for him.” Derek sent him a wolfish smile that had probably seduced the panties off of hundreds of college co-eds back in his day. Stiles wasn’t embarrassed to admit that he could now be bunched into that category. 
“Uhh yeah okay…” Because what else was he going to say. Jacks moved over a bit to give him room, and as soon as Stiles settled, he had a lap full of wolfdog. 
Derek threw his head back and laughed. “Doesn’t look like he’s going to be letting you leave so easily.”
Stiles cleared away the lump in his throat and buried his face in Jacks soft fur. “I don’t mind.”
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foxcantswim · 6 months
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FNAF Movie / / Vanessa x F!Reader [Wing-Animatronic]
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(gif by me)
You are hopelessly in love with Vanessa, Bonnie is starting to get sick and tired of you not doing anything about it. Content: Pre-Relationship, Love/Crush Confessions, Soft!Vanessa, BESTBOI!BONNIE Warnings: N/A WC: 1,672
This fic is so self-indulgent. What I would give to hug Bonnie. I think my soul would actually be healed.
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"You know what I mean right?"
Bonnie blinked extremely slowly as he simply looked at you.
"Of course you don't," you leaned back into your chair with a groan.
You had been venting to Bonnie for the past few hours of your shift now, it was becoming a nightly occurrence where he would keep you company in the office (whether he liked it or not...)
"All I'm saying is. She's very attractive and way out of my league."
You were certain Bonnie was trying his hardest to roll his eyes as best he could.
"I'm right, though!" you tried to reason. All Bonnie did was give you a thumbs down in response.
You've had this huge crush (well, it was becoming much more than just a crush nowadays) on a certain blonde police officer you had met on your first night shift a couple months back. She had helped you get a grip on the tasks on your shifts and she had been more than happy to accompany you every other night whenever her own shifts allowed her. She'd always been extremely understandable whenever you opened up to her, she never failed to make you laugh with her stupid dad jokes and she was just overall incredible to be around. The silly playful flirting she had clearly done with you in the past was always welcome, but a part of you wasn't sure whether she meant for the flirtations to be romantic or if they were just jokes.
"You're not being very helpful right now, Bonnie."
He cocked is head at you as if to say 'Are you serious?'
"Come on! How do I successfully win Vanessa's heart?"
Of course he didn't reply.
"You know, if anyone were to walk in and see me talking to you like this they would think I was crazy."
As the hours went on you continued to moan and complain about how you'd never be able to impress Vanessa. About how someone like that could never love someone like you. You were effectively breaking your own heart and putting yourself down. Your hand had been fiddling with a pen for the past couple hours, scribbling various hearts on the back of some paperwork. The name 'Vanessa' was in the middle of said hearts.
You were acting like a love sick teenager with their first crush. You shook your head to snap yourself out of it.
Bonnie took a step away, intending to leave the room.
"Hey! Don't leave me alone when I'm stressed!" you whined.
Bonnie stayed.
Why couldn't it have been Freddy, Chica or Foxy? Why him? Why did he have to listen to all this?
The first few nights he thought it was somewhat interesting and cute to hear you talk about your feelings towards Vanessa. But that interest quickly turned into annoyance after about a week. He liked Vanessa. And he liked you. So of course he wanted to help you in any way he could.
The alarm on your watch finally rang. 6am.
You let out a sigh of relief, moving to turn the monitors off.
"Well... Thanks, Bon. I appreciate you listening. I promise I'll make a move on her. Maybe..." you muttered the last part, clearly not trusting yourself.
You stood up from the desk and grabbed your jacket and keys. You left the office and waved towards the other animatronics before you finally exited the pizzeria.
Bonnie had stayed back in the office, simply waiting for you to leave. His eyes soon locked onto the desk... More specifically the old paperwork on the desk you had left.
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The following night, Vanessa had showed up just as you started your shift. She had followed you into the pizzeria, greeting the animatronics as she did.
"I told you to clean up that mess, Y/N!" Vanessa rolled her eyes as she headed over to a nearby closet to grab a mop. She had wanted you to clean up the mess that Chica and Foxy had made last night. They had knocked over a couple glasses of drinks as they ran throughout the pizzeria.
You shrugged, "I'm lucky you love me enough to clean it up for me," you smirked before walking off towards the office, intending to turn the monitors on.
Vanessa rolled her eyes to herself, however a soft smile appeared on her face at your words. She found the mop before turning back towards the mess, however she wasn't expecting to bump into something.
"Oh!" she exclaimed, "Sorry, Bonnie. Didn't see you there."
He blinked at her before raising a hand.
Vanessa look down at his outstretched hand, she raised an eyebrow in confusion.
In Bonnie's palm there was a piece of paper. Vanessa cautiously eyed it. In the centre of the page there was a messily scribbled heart with the name 'Vanessa' right in the centre.
She let out a quiet laugh, "Aw, thanks. I love you too, big guy," she patted his arm in thanks. She took the mop and headed over towards the mess. She didn't quite see when Bonnie started to shake his head in disagreement. He desperately wanted to tell her that it was in fact you who had drawn that heart. Not him.
The absolute annoyance and stress he was feeling right now...
Bonnie wasted no time in trudging towards the office.
"Hey, Bonnie," you greeted him with a smile as he entered.
He grabbed your arm, quite forcefully, and began to pull you towards the door.
"What's gotten into you?" you asked in confusion.
His other hand moved towards your face, giving you a clear view of a very familiar piece of paper.
"You want me to do that now?!"
He nodded slightly.
"I-I can't Bonnie. It's not the right time. She doesn't like me the same way I like her," you looked down in defeat.
He nodded again, trying to encourage you.
Vanessa cleared her throat, trying to get yours and Bonnie's attention.
You both looked towards the doorway.
"Everything all right in here?" she said, a slight smile in her face at the strange scene she was looking at. She noticed Bonnie holding up the paper directly in front of your face... Your face which was now slowly being covered by a bright blush.
The cogs in the blonde's brain were turning as she desperately tried to work out what was going on.
"Yep!" you squeaked, "Perfectly normal interaction we are having right now," you tried to pull away from Bonnie's strong grip.
Bonnie shook his head frantically. He raised his hand towards Vanessa, showing her the piece of paper again.
"Y-Yeah. You already showed me that buddy-"
He stomped his foot, narrowing his eyes. He then brought the paper back towards you and then back in Vanessa's direction. Over and over, trying to convey what he was meaning.
"Shut up right now, Bonnie," you warned him.
Vanessa felt her mouth go dry as a blush of her own covered her cheeks.
"Y/N..." her voice was soft, immediately making your heartbeat increase, "I don't want to jump to any conclusions here but... Is Bonnie trying to say that you drew that? Not him?"
Great. Now Vanessa was going to think you were an idiot. An idiot who acted like a lovesick obsessed puppy.
"It's stupid, Nessy," you muttered, finally ripping your arm away from Bonnie's grasp. You looked away out of embarrassment before heading over to your chair and plopping down in it.
Vanessa sighed before stepping closer to Bonnie, his hand slowly outstretched towards her. She grabbed the paper and couldn't help but smile down it at it.
"Thanks, buddy," she said before moving towards you.
Bonnie nodded before slowly exiting the room.
"Y/N," she said, turned your chair to face her, "It's not stupid."
"Yes it is," you groaned, hiding your face in your hands, "Can we just forget about this and-"
She giggled, placing the paper on the desk, "It's not stupid. It's cute. It's cute that you have a crush."
"It's so embarrassing, Vanessa," you felt slightly hurt by her mocking you.
Rolling her eyes, Vanessa picked up a pen, "Would it make you feel better if I did the same thing?"
You raised an eyebrow at her, curious as to what she meant. That's when she reached for the paper, and drew her own heart underneath the one you had drawn... Your name was soon in the centre of it.
"You gettin' the picture yet?" she said, hoping you would understand that yes... the feelings were definitely mutual.
You weren't entirely sure on what to say, you simply stared at the paper on the desk.
Vanessa threw the pen down, before cocking her head towards you, "So yes or no?"
"Y-Yes or no?" you questioned.
"How about you let me take you on a date the next time you're off shift?"
This was a dream. It had to be. There was no way this beautiful woman was asking you out on a date right now.
"Need me to repeat myself-?"
"No!" you exclaimed, "I-I mean yes, I mean-"
Vanessa laughed again, "Cute," she muttered before leaning down to place a kiss on your cheek, "I guess I'll be seeing you at the end of the week."
You froze in your chair at the contact.
"Y-Yeah. I'll see you at the end of the week."
Gods, that day could not come soon enough.
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The next night, you had hugged Bonnie tightly. His huge hands had patted you on the back in comfort.
He strutted around the pizzeria, gloating at the fact that he was the best wing-animatronic to ever exist. At the end of the day, he was thankful that you confided and vented to him.
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Taglist: @marvelwomen-simp ; @emiliaisdead ; @natashas-whore
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auspicioustidings · 6 months
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https://www.tumblr.com/auspicioustidings/734619885087375360/i-cannot-write-for-shit-right-now-so-any-little
Hmmmm I’m seeing so many x single mom readers and not sure if this is something you’re even interested in BUT
Simon meeting his pretty new neighbor while she’s moving I and realizes she is either a.) heavily pregnant or b.) has a very young baby so Simon goes “hmmmm mine now :)” and helps her out a little? (Alternatively, if you don’t wanna do Simon for this, then maybe Price?)
(Also if you haven’t read @peachesofteal’s Light On fic, Simon x single mom reader, I implore if you to do so!!! It’s so good)
Peaches Light On fics, and I am being so deadass serious, give me such a flood of serotonin any time I see a new one. Everyone get your butt over there because they are the standard for single mother content as far as I am concerned!
That being said, I've put a bit of a twist on this so it's not really what you requested at all, sorry :') I could not do a similar idea to Peaches because there is nothing I can do to improve perfection!
Tactical Action
Words: 1.1k
CWs: mentions of death
“It's not a shame Price, it's fucking ridiculous.”
Simon Riley was furious looking at the paperwork. It wasn't often that TF141 kept tabs on a promising rookie so when they did he expected nothing but excellence. What he did not expect was a large ‘Early Service Leaver’ stamp over an otherwise exemplary record.
“Their brother died in that warship collision, can't blame them for wanting out.”
“My brother was murdered, I kept fucking going.”
He had met you once when Johnny had dragged him. His Sergeant was both excited and annoyed that someone had gotten the new record for the 3rd selection phase. It made sense to get some feel for you then, if you were as good at escape, evasion and tactical questioning as the test scores suggested then the 141 needed to have you on their radar because the PMCs certainly would. 
You were a determined thing, shoulders back and addressing them with just the right amount of respect. Not arrogant, but not a pushover. Soap had been talking about how much he wanted to get his hands on you the whole drive back to base because he was a horny idiot and you were a challenge he found intriguing. Simon had just rolled his eyes and added your record to the small pile in Price's office. 
He knew a little of your background. Both parents gone, one sibling in the navy. Well one sibling now KIA. He could have understood taking leave, but to quit entirely? It made him angry, he thought it was a waste of potential. Price could see how it affected him and he sighed. 
“Go talk to them then. But do not get yourself reported for harassment and intimidation Simon, if they don't want back in then we make our peace with that.”
That was all the permission he needed. He probably should have taken Soap really, someone who could be comforting and coax you back. But fuck it, you were supposed to be good under pressure so he was going to give you some hard damn advice on not bloody giving up.
Exhausted didn't even begin to describe how you felt. This was the hardest thing you had ever done, but you were not going to just give up. You couldn't, not with this tiny thing relying on you. 
She had never even got to meet her parents. Your brother died just before the due date in that accident and then his girlfriend had died from complications in childbirth. You had promised her you would look after their baby if anything happened, made an oath that you'd not let her parents anywhere near such an innocent little thing. 
So you were on your own with nothing but grief and exhaustion and an ever dwindling death in service payment. They would pay part of your brother's pension out each month at least for the baby, but you were terrified that it wouldn't be enough to give her a life she deserved. She certainly deserved her parents and not her fathers ill equipped sibling, but you could only do your best even with the knowledge it would never be enough. 
You flinched when there was a hard knock at the door of your flat, freezing but taking a breath when the baby remained sleeping in your arms. You needed to move at one point you knew, a flat in a bit of a rough area was fine for a soldier (ex-soldier you reminded yourself) but not so much for a baby. 
The security you had upgraded as best you could at the moment and you checked the door camera to see Lieutenant Riley. Ghost. You had met him briefly once, but what was a legend like him doing here? Shit. You knew you looked a wreck but it wasn't like you could ignore him so you opened the door, bouncing baby girl gently to keep her sleeping. 
Simon's planned tirade died the moment he saw the situation. You had a baby. Oh that changed his tirade significantly. Your marital status had listed single, so he could only assume you had gotten yourself knocked up by some casual hookup. That was unacceptable in a soldier, so bloody stupid. 
“Shit” you cursed when she woke up, heading back inside and giving him a nod of invite.
You bounced her and tried to coo at her to go back to sleep. To please God go back to sleep. You never knew what she wanted, it felt like whatever you did was always wrong. And of course then she started wailing and the Lieutenant was in your flat closing the door behind him witnessing your absolute failure to take care of a baby. 
“Oh for Christ sake, give her here.”
Simon took the baby and hoisted the little thing up onto his shoulder, rubbing hard at her back. 
“When was the last time you fed her?”
“I- well, just before you got here. 10 minutes ago maybe? Just got her to sleep.”
“Did you burp her?”
“Oh. I…” you replied, straining yourself in an attempt not to cry. “No. I forgot.”
While his eyes were sharp on you his hands and voice were gentle and soothing for the baby. He was good at this. Did he have kids? Fuck was everyone just innately good at caring for babies but you? 
“Didn't stop to think if you could take care of her before having her?” 
“She's not mine. Well I suppose she is. I'm her only living relative, or only decent one at least. I, um… that warship accident from a few months back. My brother died during it and her mum passed during the birth. I'm her legal guardian now. I'm what she has sir, it was the best tactical action given the circumstance” you said, straightening up despite your exhaustion and prolonged terror at being responsible for such an innocent little thing. 
Simon cocked his head to the side as the baby on his shoulder burped and gurgled, now trying to get back to sleep. You were still a soldier he saw then, you were fighting back your emotions to give him a report on the situation. He reevaluated after the sitrep and took a moment to find the best course of action.
“Marry me then.”
“Sir?”
“We can get it done tomorrow. Might take a bit of time to get a decent house but we'll stay in my flat until then, better area. Still going to be out on assignment a lot but any death benefit would go to you and the widows pension would set you up for life. I'm what you have rookie, it's the best tactical action.”
“Yes sir.”
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lanadelnegan · 1 month
Text
Ghost - Part 3
Negan x Glenn'sSister!Reader
Part 2 here // Part 4 here
Warnings: 18+, negan masturbating, negan being all sweet and protective
A/n: I thought this would be the last part, but it was so long I had to break it up. Part 4 will be posted soon!
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Negan’s POV: 
I waited all night for her but she never came. Hopping back on my bike, I drove back to the sanctuary the next morning. I spent the next few days drinking in my room and missing her. Trying to give her space was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. 
Two of my wives came to check on me, and I rudely dismissed them. And told them to kick rocks, for good. I wouldn’t even be able to get my dick up with anyone else but her. This girl has me wrapped around her goddamn finger and I don’t even know her name. 
I sat on the couch, closed my eyes and imagined her face. Our night together. How I fucked her through her little shorts. I imagined her lips between mine and the little sounds she made as she scratched my back. Fuck. 
I rubbed myself through my pants, imagining myself between her legs before I got impatient and pulled my cock out. I spit in my hand and began stroking it, focusing extra on the tip. My head pressed against the couch and I groaned, jerking my dick faster. Fuck, fuck fuuuuck. 
"Boss, we've got a problem." Fucking Simon. 
Tucking myself back in my pants, I walked over and flung the door open, clearly annoyed with an extreme case of blue balls. We walked towards the back exit quickly while Simon filled me in on the situation. 
“Rick and the rest of them are outside." Simon explained. "He said he only wants you.” 
“Of course he does.” I chuckled before walking out onto the balcony. “Well, what a nice surprise. This better be good Rick. I was right in the middle of something.”  
Her silky black hair caught my attention almost instantly and I couldn't take my eyes off her. She stood beside Rick and my heart sank for two reasons. I couldn't let her get hurt in the middle of all this. And what the hell was she doing? She couldn't seriously want this.
I leaned next to Simon's ear and whispered. “Make sure everyone knows that one is off limits." I nodded towards my girl. "If anyone harms a hair on her pretty head, it'll be the last thing they ever do."
Your POV, earlier that day: 
“We go in quick, and we don’t leave until Negan is dead. Understood?” Rick’s voice sounded far away and I realized my mind had been wandering the entire time, not able to concentrate.. Or accept Rick’s plan for Alexandria to go after the Saviors. I couldn't lose someone I...
Care about… again. 
“Y/n?” Rick asked, tilting his head at me. 
“Yes, understood.” 
The ride over took ages it seemed like. My head rested against the window of the truck while I watched the sun slowly start to disappear. I should be thrilled. This is what I’ve wanted for so long - to get revenge. 
So why did I want to save him?
“I dunno if I can do this.” Daryl’s focus remained on the road as I spoke. “I know you don’t understand it, but there’s good in him. I’ve seen it.”
Daryl scoffed. “Unbelievable.”
“I just don’t wanna see anyone else die, Daryl.” I wiped a tear from my cheek.
“Some people deserve it.”
“And we don’t? Think about all the ones we’ve killed.”
“Not the same.” Daryl mumbled. 
“But it is. That’s the world we live in now. We do what we have to to survive. We’re all… psycho murderers, really.”  
“Listen to yourself. What do you think Glenn would think about you defending the man who killed him?” 
I sat quietly for a few moments, focusing my attention back on the clouds. “I think he’d be proud of me.” The gravel suddenly rumbling beneath the truck let us know we were getting close to the sanctuary and Daryl pulled over, parking near the others. 
“You’re either with us, or ya aint. But you need to hurry and decide.” Daryl warned before he quietly exited the truck and met up with the others ahead. 
I owe them for everything they’ve done for me. Everything they did for Glenn. I closed my eyes before hopping out of the car and quickly caught up with the rest of the group. Daryl gave me a nod and the rest of the tread was quiet. I tried focusing my mind on anything but Negan, disassociating to the best of my ability - a skill I’ve perfected over the past few months. 
“Negan needs to surrender. This has to happen now. This is the only way.” Rick’s voice rang through my ears as I stood near him, shielding myself with the metal that stood between us and the Saviors. Peeking out, I watched Negan appear behind the railing, an arrogant smirk forming on his lips.
“You’re gonna make me count?!" Rick shouted. "Okay, okay. I’m counting. 10….”
Negan eyes traveled to mine and his gaze softened. I stared at him, silently begging him to surrender while Rick counted. He studied me as if he wondered if I wanted this. 
Of course not. Surrender, goddammit. 
I watched him lean over and whisper something to Simon while his eyes were still on me. Simon nodded and took out his radio, signaling something to the others that I couldn't hear. 
The sound of Rick's gun cocking distracted me, and without thinking, I jumped in front of him, pulling the gun with with me. A bullet went straight through my foot, but I barely felt it.
I heard Negan cursing in the background amongst all the other chaos transpiring. Walkers were filing in now and everyone eventually scattered. I limped as quickly as I could, trying to escape before my feet lifted off the ground. I quickly realized it was Negan and he rushed us to an empty trailer nearby, shutting the door behind him when we made it inside.
“Oww.” I groaned, limping over to the wall and sliding down it. I pulled off my bloody sock and shoe and cringed at the bullet hole in my foot. The pain was starting to set in now.
“Shit.” Negan grabbed a first aid kit from a cabinet above and kneeled down, wrapping my foot. “The hell were you thinkin' darlin'?.”
He looked up at me, slightly grinning and I rolled my eyes. He finished wrapping it up, kissed my forehead, and sat next to me on the floor, leaning his back against the wall. His hand rested on my thigh protectively and I wanted to reach for it and hold his hand but I couldn’t. We both sat in silence for a few moments before he finally spoke.  
“You never came. I waited on you all night.” 
My heart ached at the thought of him there alone. “I told you, Negan. I don’t want to see you anymore.” 
“Yet.. you just took a bullet for me.” I could hear the cocky smile through his voice. 
“Why did you want to meet?” I asked.
“I guess I thought maybe if we went back to our place, you’d see me differently. The way you did that night, and I’d actually have a chance to win you over.”
When I looked over at him, I saw the man he was that night. Before I knew his name and all the horrible things he had done. I replayed everything in my head - the steam from his shower, our deep talks about our old high school days, his wife Lucille and how her death broke his heart, and how he read to me. And then I remembered him in between my legs, but stopping before it got too far because we were both tipsy.
How could the same man who bashed someone's skull in be the same one the had enough decency not to take advantage of a woman? I wanted so desperately to believe in the man he was that night - for that to be the only version of him. 
“Listen baby, I don’t want to hurt you anymore than I already have." His voice was lower than usual when he spoke. "I get that you don’t wanna see me anymore and I’ve gotta learn to be okay with that. I don’t want to be a constant reminder of your brother’s death.” He leaned his head against the wall. “Fuckin' stupid of me to think this could ever work, huh?” 
With every word he spoke, my heart broke into smaller pieces. If Negan would have died today, I’d hate myself for the rest of my life for not going back to the cabin and meeting him that night. As difficult as our life would be together - for so many reasons, I can’t live without him. 
“Negan..” 
“Yeah?” His hazel eyes met mine and he looked like a sad puppy that I desperately wanted to comfort.
“I don’t think I can ever forgive you.”
He nodded, clearly hurt and I watched his eyes fill with tears before he looked down. 
I sighed, hoping I wouldn’t regret what I was about to say. “But I love you. And I want to find a way to make this work.”
His eyes darted back and forth between mine before his hand cupped my face and he kissed me all in one motion. I've missed his lips so much. His mouth was gentle, like he was scared to break me, but I wanted him to, so I pulled him closer and opened my mouth slightly. His tongue slipped in and collided with mine, making me see stars. After a few moments, he pulled away, breathing heavily and resting his forehead against mine. 
“I love you so fuckin’ much, sweetheart. I’ll never disappoint you again.”
“I know.” And I did. I believed him. Gunfire in the distance quickly snapped us back to reality but we held each other, neither of us willing to let go first.
"Negan, I've gotta go back with them."
"No. Stay with me at the sanctuary until we figure out a plan? I'll take care of you and-"
"We can't. You can't stay here, Negan. It's not safe, they'll come back for you. Rick won't stop until you're dead."
"Then I'll kill him first, doll. Simple."
"No. You're not killing anyone else - none of my people. I can't lose anyone else. The only way everyone survives this is if you surrender."
Negan scoffed. "And then what? Be a goddamn prisoner and Rick's little bitch for the rest of my life? Not gonna happen, darlin'."
I sighed. This was going to be a lot harder than I thought.
"Hey, you're not giving up on me already are you?" Negan's hand rested again my cheek as he urged me to look at him.
"No.. no, I just, I dunno what to do."
"We've got all night to figure it out, doll. We don't have many options. There's no way you're going back to Alexandria on that foot. Come on." Negan stood, holding his hand out to me and I took it. "Stay close behind me, baby."
I nodded, gripping the back of Negan's shirt as he kicked the door open, flinging a few walkers in the process. I helped as much as I could, stabbing a few with my knife as Negan worked our way through the crowd.
Luckily the sanctuary itself seemed untouched. The walkers were only outside in the yard while a couple of guards secured the entry to the sanctuary doors. They opened them quickly as Negan and I tumbled in. His hand wrapped around my waist, helping me walk with my hurt foot.
We could hear Simon and the others around the corner. Turning the corner, Negan whistled his favorite tune and I watched in awe as the rest of the saviors bowed before us.
"I bet you all thought I was dead, huh?" Negan chuckled. "Here's a little refresher on who the hell I am. I wear a leather jacket, I have -“ He paused, leaning into you. "Hell’s your name darlin’? You never told me.” You whispered your name in his ear and giggled. He turned back to the saviors, finishing his speech. "I have y/n, and my nut sack? Is made of steel. I am not dyin' until I am damn good and ready."
What a dork. My dork. I thought, looking up at him as he spoke.
"Now, if you'll excuse us, we have a honeymoon to get to. No one knocks on my door. Simon, you're in charge. Don't make me regret it."
Simon nodded and Negan lead us down the hall to a large door at the end. He held the door open for me as I walked through. A bachelor pad of the apocalypse. Exactly what I imagined. I smiled at him and he returned the gesture, flashing his white smile before he walked towards me and immediately wrapped me in his arms. My head rested against his chest and I felt his heart beat. For once, I felt safe.
Part 4 here. If you’ve read this far, thank you. 🥹💗
tag list: @loganlostitall @chaospossum @negansbabydoll66 @redqueenphoenix @n3g5nx @crustyweirdo @youngpersonaathletebear @sadgirlzluvdilfs @ilovebill-and-gustav @neganscumbucket @manipulatorpoem @im-a-goddamn-cat @raininhell @mahogany-cherry-wine @daryldixmedown @munsonslovergirl @sanctuaryforthelost @thelauraborealis @carlgrimesbbg @c3linesworld @blueheisenbergtragedy @startwinklekitty @darlingmadelinee @oceandeepthirst @jschlattsqtip @lavenderchai @sweetbutpsychobutsweet @neganswoman @n7crophiliac @cats-writing @alldevilsarehere90 @natykacenka @queermilfs @stasiaangelsinner @lupa-03 @sadgirlzluvdilfs @pamago-bb @javier-penas-wifexx420 @motelprincess444 @thatonefroggirl @myhappyplaceofstuff @darlingmadelinee @used2beee @easystreet07 @princess-23-xoxo @twdxtrevor @dilfsandmartinis @sarahhxx03 @minaxcarter @kukka-roo @rinsdesires @6kaja9 @sasiiik9174
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lihhelsing · 7 months
Text
Part 3
Eddie can barely react when Steve offers to pick him up at his house for their date night.
Eddie is a nervous wreck at this point as he's been with everything that's related to Steve (or related to not-Steve). 
Ever since he first matched with him, Eddie felt like he was living in a parallel world because there was no way in hell someone like him would ever swipe right on someone like Eddie. And yet. It really happened. 
Well, at first it didn't, but then Steve called and said all those nice things to Eddie and fuck if he wasn't easy when someone flattered him. 
But Eddie was also a paranoid shit, so he kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. For Steve to laugh at him and tell him it was just a prank. For him to ghost him - which maybe would be even worse. 
But Steve didn't and now he was waiting outside of his place in a fucking BMW? What the fuck was that? 
Steve looks good because he always does. They had been exchanging pictures of themselves as they talked and even when Steve was all sweaty and gross from a workout he still looked good. Eddie compensated with good angles and dork faces that Steve said time and time again were adorable. 
He insisted so much that he thought Eddie was cute that Eddie was almost believing him. He had also tried his hardest for their date, putting on some of his favorite clothes, a band t-shirt and ripped skinny jeans that made him look good. His hair was down because it felt like a good armor if he needed to hide from something. 
Steve doesn't even give him time to anything before he's smiling and saying 'you look so handsome,' and placing his hand on Eddie's thigh and fuck, he forgot how to breathe. 
"Thanks, you, uh, you look good, too," Eddie blabbers and Steve chuckles and it's adorable. He's adorable and Eddie is losing his shit. 
"Ready for our date?" Steve smiles and turns the car on, his hand heavy on Eddie's leg still. There's a part of Eddie that's sure he's the farthest thing from ready, but this is happening, no question. 
X
Somehow, Eddie tricks Steve into inviting him over after the movie is over. Steve said he wanted to take him to dinner, but he failed to mention dinner was actually eating popcorn and candy at a drive-in. 
Eddie had no notes. 
After the movie started, he managed to relax a bit. Steve seemed to feel it because he, too, relaxed and when they were done with their food, he offered his hand for Eddie to take. He felt giddy like a high-schooler and like Steve had, somehow, known Eddie never had the chance to do any of that in high school.
Despite his fancy car, Steve's apartment is more modest than Eddie expects it to be. He mentioned having a roommate who he's friends with, although he said he just met her over the internet and she hooked him up with the job. 
"So, is she like your best friend or something?" Eddie asks as Steve opens the car door for him as if he's a prince out of a fairy tale. 
"Oh, no. I mean, we're friends and we talk and I really like her company, but I don't think she likes me very much."
"Why not?"
Steve shrugs, but Eddie can tell it's a sore subject‌. Eddie gets it, though. For the little he knows Steve, he can already tell he cares a lot about people liking him or not. He also doesn't understand why someone wouldn't like Steve, but well, people are weird. 
"Is she out?" Eddie asks as they get in the elevator and Steve nods. 
"Yeah, she usually spends Friday nights at her girlfriend's place. That's why I normally get the Friday shift. I kind of hate being home alone and it's just a nice thing to do for her, I guess."
Eddie hums noncommittally. He's trying to piece Steve together, but it's hard because his looks and his posture sometimes say one thing and then he lets out this incredibly vulnerable information and it leaves Eddie confused. 
They walk in together and the place is small, but cute. There's an old couch and Steve tells him to sit down, saying he's getting them some drinks. Eddie doesn't want to drink, he wants to just grab Steve by the face and kiss him dumb. 
Steve doesn't take long and as he sits down, Eddie can't hold it anymore. He has no idea where all this bravado comes from, but he leans forward and pecks Steve on the mouth. Steve's eyes widen and Eddie is about to apologize when two hands cup his face and pull him forward. 
And then they are kissing. Really kissing. With tongue and little huffs that come out of Steve's mouth and Eddie feels like he's died. 
If he is, in fact, dead, then Eddie is going to make the best of it. He lets his hands move to Steve's waist and he pulls him in. He has no idea what he was trying to do, but Steve seems to be much more confident because he straddles Eddie's hips and then he's on top. 
"Fuck," Eddie says. He's completely out of breath and Steve feels so good like this. He grips his waist harder and Steve thinks it's a go-ahead for him to roll his hips down and Eddie sees stars. 
Steve kisses him like he's hungry for him, and it's a heady feeling. Eddie has kissed boys before, but no one that looked like Steve. No one that made his heart skip so many beats like he does. 
No one that seemed to want Eddie as much as Steve does right now. 
"Stevie," Eddie whispers. He's not even sure he managed to get the words out but Steve stops kissing his neck. His pupils are blown out and his mouth is red and swollen and Eddie did that. 
"Yeah?" Steve is out of breath, too. His chest rises and falls in quick intervals. 
"Can we slow down?" Eddie says when he catches his own breath. He's afraid of saying it because it makes him look pathetic, but he doesn't want to rush this. 
They've been talking for a month before they even went out, but Eddie still feels too raw and insecure and-
"Of course, baby," Steve interrupts Eddie's train of thought and he has a soft smile, but he doesn't move away. He's not repelled by Eddie. He leans in and kisses him softly on the mouth. 
The pet name wraps itself around Eddie's heart. He's desperate to believe all of this means more than just a casual hook up but he knows he can't. Not yet. 
"Oh, wait! I saved a video I wanted to show you," Steve says as if they weren't eating each other a few short seconds ago. Eddie chuckles. He likes it. He likes how Steve can just roll with whatever Eddie throws his way. 
"Yeah, let's see this video," Eddie smiles, takes a moment to just admire Steve, hair a complete mess thanks to him, face flushed a pretty shade of pink. He looks perfect and Eddie wants to keep him so bad. 
"Wait, can you call my phone? I don't know where I put it." 
Much to Eddie's disappointment, Steve gets out of his lap and pats his pockets, frowning. He starts moving around the house and Eddie fishes his phone, dialing Steve's number from his contact list. 
He watches as Steve disappears back inside the kitchen and listens as his phone starts to ring right beside him, on the couch. Eddie can't see it, so he pushes his hand at the edges and pulls out Steve's phone. 
They must've been making out pretty hard for the phone to go this deeper on the couch. Eddie chuckles and presses the red button at the same time Steve comes back into the living room. 
"Found it! I left it at the kitchen counter when I grabbed us water," Steve says, waving a phone he has in his hands. Eddie frowns at him and holds out the phone he found. 
"Me too."
It's Steve's turn to look confused. "What?"
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Tavern: knight!price x princess!reader
this part is a little longer but it had to be. it's under 3k!
You and your ladies in waiting sat in the solar after lunch. You had spent the better part of the day speaking with your mother about suitors and delegating other potential kingdoms for trade, effectively draining you of most of the energy you had.
A new suitor was to show in a week or so. You tried your hardest to not let it ruin your mood so instead of thinking about it at all, you decided to preoccupy yourself with your embroidery with your ladies in waiting.
"Did you see Sir John training the squires the other day?" Lady Katherine said which piqued your interest. "Normally he lets the other knights do it."
"Maybe he did it to impress you." Another lady teased and you watched Katherine's face turn pink.
"Don't be ridiculous!"
Despite her chiding she smiled bashfully at the thought. You could only imagine what was going through her mind about her and Sir John if he ever decided to court her.
How his touch would be gentle and leading with the same softness he had shown on the day he had tended to your wound. How effortlessly he would protect you with a practiced hand that wouldn't make any mistakes. The way his gruff voice would sound as he spoke with you about anything and the way his blue eyes stared with perfect attention. 
You could only imagine how his beard would feel against your fingertips or how it would feel against your face-
"Your highness," Lady Katherine's voice brought you out of your thoughts and you quickly had to hide the way they had made you feel breathless. ''Did you ever find out who your secret admirer was?"
"O-Oh, no." You composed yourself. "But I haven't received another gift, so I assume they've given up."
"It's for the best."
You nodded, not at all bothered by it. In fact, while you hadn't forgotten the gesture your mind had moved on from an unknown admirer to someone much more tangible, though no less unattainable.
"If only Sir John would send you flowers." One Lady teased Katherine.
"Oh hush!"
There was a knock at the door and Sir John stepped into the room after you called out to let him in.
He froze when he realized that all of the ladies were there. He shuffled uncomfortably in his spot when he realized that everyone was staring at him, especially Lady Katherine who could hardly hide the love look in her eyes.
His eyes snapped to yours and he sucked in his lips before he bowed.
"Your highness, I was under the impression I'd be accompanying you today." He said and your eyes widened.
You had planned to go to the fields today for another chance at distracting yourself yet you had completely forgotten about it because of the circumstances but also because of him.
"Oh yes, now would be a good time for that."
The ladies in waiting all took their leave, bowing to you and then saying goodbye to Sir John as they left the room, hiding their coy smiles the best they could. Even Lady Katherine found it  difficult to hide her bashfulness while he only stood there awkwardly, sucking his lips in as he gave them all a stiff nod.
He shut the door when they left and you raised an amused eyebrow at his expression.
"I'm sorry if I interrupted something." He cleared his throat but you shook your head with a smile.
"No, I'm glad you came when you did." You're not sure if the relief came from the conversation being cut off or because you were going to your favorite place. "I've looked at this enough, I'm quite sick of it."
"Why's that?"
You gave him the piece that you were working on as you tidied up the solar. You suddenly felt shy, so you kept your back to him while you tried to find the necessary items you wanted to take with you to the fields.
"It's better than anything I could do." Price said and you chewed on your inner lip. "The colors look nice."
"The others are better." You shrugged but he scoffed.
"I like yours."
You caught yourself before you could smile and scolded yourself for feeling so foolish over something so small. What were you, a child? You had never known a man, no matter the status, to care about something like embroidery so you were sure he was just saying it to flatter you...even if he sounded genuine.
"It's a good way to pass the time when you have it." You picked up a book before a thought crossed your mind and you looked back at him. "What do you do for fun, Sir John?"
"Follow you around." He said immediately without looking up from your embroidery piece.
You laughed, thinking he was joking until he looked up at you, his eyes full of sincerity. Your smile fell and you tapped your fingers against the book.
You hadn't thought about how you took up most of his time. You assumed that he had time to himself when you were busy but the more you thought about it them more you realized that he was most likely busy even when he wasn't by your side.
"You're serious?"
"On the rare occasion I'll play cards or have a pint at the tavern on the days you decide to stay put and I have nothing else to do." He explained and you frowned slightly.
"Do I really keep you that often?" You couldn't help the slight guilt you felt.
"I'm not complaining, your highness."
You hummed, not convinced but you honestly didn't blame him if he actually was. You forced him to go everywhere you wanted to go, though only because your mother wanted it, and considering he was busy often it was no wonder you two bumped heads as often as you used to. 
You wanted to change it up this time, to give him a chance to enjoy something he liked doing and the perfect idea came up in mind. Not only would he get his chance but you would also get the chance to have some real fun and a better opportunity to ignore the looming responsibilities.
Price was about to say something when you grinned.
"I've thought of something even better than the fields." You said and he almost looked concerned. "We'll go to the tavern tonight for drinks."
"Pardon?" His eyes widened and he stared at you as if you had grown three heads. When you repeated what you said he shook his head. "No, you're not going to the tavern."
"Why not?"
Price's face scrunched up slightly and he sucked in his lips as he shook his head with disbelief. He couldn't believe you would want to go to the village tavern, a place that was the complete opposite of what you called fun.
"It's not a place for a princess," he began and you gave him a look. 
"That's never stopped me before." You pointed out and he looked almost in pain. 
"It could be dangerous-"
"Then bring the other knights. I'm sure they'll enjoy a couple drinks as well."
Price sighed heavily, knowing that you weren't going to back down from this idea even if he tried his hardest to make you see that it most likely wouldn't end well. However, when he saw the twinkle in your eyes and the way that you seemed more excited about it than just going to the fields, he relented.
"An hour." He bargained and you placed your hands on your hips. "It's for your safety, your highness."
"Fine." You sighed. "We'll leave tonight, when everyone's gone to bed."
"As you wish."
~
Price helped you down from the horse before he glanced at the bustling tavern. Of course you had to choose a night when it was busy and of course he couldn't give you a firm no.
It wasn't that the villagers were bad people but alcohol did things to folk's minds and the last time he was here a fight had broken out over a game of cards.
Simon, Kyle, and John all walked in first with varying degrees of excitement. They were happy to get a couple drinks especially after having worked hard for the entire week.
"You're still on duty," Price had told them with a firm look. "Her safety is the top priority."
"Aye, but I doubt you'll be far from her." John had winked despite the glare he received. 
He left it at that and hoped that despite everything, they would at least try to stay vigilant for any potential assailants. 
Price had to stop himself from keeping some sort of hold on you. He barely touched you as it was but as he walked protectively behind you towards the tavern he couldn't help the growing urge to grab your hand, to hold you close to him so he could make sure you wouldn't get hurt.
When the two of you stepped into the tavern, all eyes went on you and it grew deathly silent. All of the villagers were wide eyed, a sort of uncertainty falling across them as they stared at you.
He clenched his jaw and his hand rested on the dagger he brought with him.
However, you were undeterred as you gave them a polite smile.
"No need to stop because of me." You told them before you walked towards the bar.
Price followed close behind you, his eyes on the patrons who slowly went back to what they were doing despite their confusion. Soon the noise began again and the familiar lively atmosphere returned.
He stood close to you as you gave the bartender a smile, who bowed to you in return.
"Unfortunately, I don't carry any wine for you, your highness." He said but you shook your head.
"That's fine, just give me what everyone else is having." You said and Price raised an eyebrow.
"Are you sure your highness?" He wondered and you tilted your head. "It might be a more bitter than what you're used to."
The bartender put two pints on the bar and you carefully grabbed one before you nodded for Price to take the other. You stared at the liquid inside it before you looked up at him with a twinkle in your eyes.
"I think I'm quite used to bitter, I'm around you often." You teased and he rolled his eyes.
"Cheeky." He clicked his tankard against yours and waited for you to take the first sip.
When you did he had to hide his smile behind his tankard as you struggled to stop your nose from scrunching up. He puffed out a few laughs when you frowned and failed miserably to hide the disgust on your face. 
You sighed heavily and gave him a weak smile when you swallowed.
"We can leave." He offered genuinely but you shook your head.
"I'm trying new things." You took another drink and forced it back. "I wouldn't dare back down now."
And you didn't. Before Price could stop you, you had drunk two pints and were already working on your third. He tried to stay close to you as you drunkenly visited with the villagers, speaking to them as if you were old friends, but you were too fast for him, even drunk.
He sat himself down at a table in the corner where he could watch everyone and you at the same time. He kept his eyes on you and watched your every move. He was on edge even when Simon gave him another drink.
The tavern got more lively and eventually someone asked you to dance with them.
And when you began to dance, it seemed like nothing mattered anymore.
Price watched you dance with warm cheeks and a warm chest. There was something in the way that you were smiling, the absolute joy on your face that made his shoulders loosen and made a smile of his own spread across his face. The life in your movements and the lack of the usual poise was enough to have him imagining things he probably shouldn’t.
Things like how it would feel to be the one dancing with you, to be the one who held you close and felt your fingers caress his skin. The one who knew what your lips felt like against his own, to know that he was yours and you were his.
They were dangerous thoughts, ones that gave him a feeling he knew but didn’t dare name. Not when the law forbade it, not when he couldn’t have it.
“Play a round, old man.” Simon sat across from him and slid over a deck of cards. 
A soft sigh escaped his chest and he grabbed the deck. He relaxed more, knowing that the other patrons in the tavern weren’t dumb enough to cause trouble, though he kept his eye on you, and began to shuffle the cards.
After a few rounds and a couple more drinks, you finally made your way over to him out of breath but a dazed look in your eyes. Simon gave you his seat, which you thanked him for before your eyes lit up at the cards.
“Oh! How many have you won?” You looked at Simon who grunted with a frown, which made you laugh. “I should expect nothing less, Sir John.”
“It’s nothing but luck.” He told you and you smiled.
“Teach me.”
“It’s a lot different than chess.”
“I know, so teach me.”
Even if you were safe within the tavern, Price liked that you finally sat across from him. He tried his hardest to explain the rules to you, though the two of you were a little too drunk and the tavern was too loud to properly play, you both still had fun. Well, Price had more fun since after the first round, he couldn’t stop winning.
“You’re cheating!”
“I’d never cheat you, your highness. You’re just awful at the game.”
As the night went on you slowly found yourself unable to ignore the problem at hand. Even if you weren't sober and even if this had been one of the more enjoyable nights you've had, you couldn't escape your fate. 
The tavern was a lovely distraction and you were happy that Price had enjoyed himself too, but now as things slowed down your mind wandered.
"Another suitor is coming." You told him softly and his face hardened. "A prince. He sounds nice, better than the king."
"Yet you sound upset." He watched you.
You weren't as upset as when you were going to be married to the king but he could still see the hidden overwhelmed feeling in your eyes. He knew that your mind was racing, that no matter how much you tried to distract yourself it was there.
"Suppose I'm just nervous. I know how it's going to go."
Price remembered what you had told him and couldn't the slight anger in his stomach. Again the queen had failed to tell him, especially after the last time, but it was more than that. He hated how upset it made you, he wished he could take it away or at the very least make it easier for you.
His loose tongue spoke before he could control it, the ale making it easier for him to say his thoughts even when he normally wouldn't say it.
"Then I'll get more violets."
Your eyes widened and you stared at him with an unreadable look. You were drunk, so maybe you had misheard him but the more you thought about it the more you realized that it made perfect sense and you couldn't believe you hadn't thought about it before.
Sir John was the only one who knew the fields and the violets made  you happy before you were given the bouquet. He was the only one who went to the fields with you, the only one who actually listened to you.
He gave you the flowers the first time.
Your chest warmed and you blinked away any tears before he could see. An overwhelming feeling washed over you, one that you weren't sure you had a name to as you watched him shuffle the cards. It was soft, warm but also so violent as you realized it would spell death for him if you were ever to indulge in it.
"Are you tired, your highness?" He asked softly, noticing the way you got quiet.
"Yes." You sighed because truthfully the alcohol was making you sleepy but selfishly you didn't want to part from him even when you'd see him tomorrow. "But let's play one more round. Then we can leave."
Price nodded a small smile stretching across his face.
"Maybe you'll win this time."
"Play me in chess and you won't gloat anymore."
a/n: to be seen is to be loved and knight!price is the only one who sees you
Tags: @deadbranch @makayla-666 @glitterypirateduck @dumbbitchgalore @m0chac0ffee @dragonbe-writing @sleepyoriana @twismare @blush-haze @waiting-so-long @sofasoap
324 notes · View notes
donaweasley · 1 month
Text
Promises to Keep
Pairing: Geralt x Fem!Reader
Plot:
Geralt is tasked with protecting a princess but his feelings keep poking at him, urging him to shed his tough armour and give in to his heart. But the witcher is a righteous man. He won’t succumb to his feelings so easily. Will he?
Some pining, some fluff that will lead to a “part 2” of this story.
Warnings: A bit of m.at.ure stuff. K.i.d.s better stay away!
Read time: ~15 mins
Note: This story has been based in a timeline before the fall of Cintra, and so, Geralt has not yet started his quest for Ciri. Oh, and he doesn’t fall in love with Yennefer. 😉
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Prologue:
Geralt of Rivia has been tasked with many a difficult missions but the hardest of them all was probably not killing but protecting a person. That person was a princess whose parents had specifically called for Geralt to take their daughter under his wing as Nilfgaard marched towards their doorstep.
The princess could fight; she had been in battles but Nilfgaard had morphed into something entirely different from what the Continent had previously seen. It was as though Hell itself had poured into their army, leaving a trail of ash and blood wherever it went.
And so, turning all cries and protests from the said princess to deaf ears, her parents sent her away, in return of an assurance from her that, should their kingdom fall, she would come back and restore it to its glory, flying their banners from every nook and corner.
They knew she could, they had said.
The journey with Geralt had not been easy, moving from camp to camp, from inn to inn, not to mention the complications of his profession. But time gradually made things easier for them both, eventually bringing them to a point where they could comfortably pose as husband and wife so as to protect her identity, and avail a temporary shelter in a village.
And even though they were living a lie of being a married pair, their hearts often wished to forget reality, and enjoy the bliss of domestic life with one another. To be with each other unconditionally, forgetting all rules and boundaries.
But Geralt was a man of ethics, and she did not want him to bear the burden of guilt just because her stupid heart could not stop fluttering for this kind, brave gentleman with a heart of gold!
And thus, neither, for fear of straining what they already had, could ever utter their feelings to each other. After all, they had promises to keep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A few months ago:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She hurt herself on the thick leather armour as she flung her arms around his neck. But she did not care. That was a pain she would happily endure if it meant seeing Geralt at her doorstep safe and sound.
He smelled of sweat and blood and the swamp. He probably tasted like it, too. Alright, so what? The man returned after three weeks from the edge of the Continent. And perhaps from the edge of life. She couldn't care less about what he smelled or tasted like. But did he really…? She was very close to confirming her assumption - almost there - when Geralt suddenly remembered his place: the protector of the princess, a mere witcher.
“Princess,” the rich baritone vibrating in her ear woke her up from her purple dream. She could not help but lean back when she found her “husband” doing the same.
Geralt spread his arms slightly, and smiled with that usual softness in his eyes that came to the forefront only when she was around. “Safe and sound. Just like I had promised.”
“I am honoured!” She jested, and stepped inside, making room for Geralt to do the same.
“Give me a minute. I'll draw a bath for you. And once you have cleaned that mess off you, you'll have a warm dinner waiting,” she smiled and turned to make her way to the bath when Geralt gently but firmly held her wrist.
Neither could deny the spark that coursed through their veins at the contact. But neither would confess. Involuntarily, the witcher’s thumb made faint circles over her veins. Once he realised what he was doing, he slowly released her but their fingers lingered over the other’s before finally making some room between them.
Geralt pleaded with her to stop fussing over it all but the woman was ecstatic! Who could stop her from doing everything she could for the man she was falling in love with! Not even the strongest witcher.
And so, she hopped away to prepare a warm bath for him while he busied himself with the relieving task of removing his armour and weapons.
Geralt lay in the bath, pondering over the unsaid things that have been passing between the princess and him. Especially the ones that happened that evening. They had never been this close before, and it only made his breath shallower every time he thought about it. His mind wandered away unleashed every time his drunken heart slipped into fantasies of what could have happened had he not pulled away from her embrace…or what might happen if he allowed himself a bit more liberty with his feelings…
A gentle knock on the door startled him, bringing him back to the reality of the small room lit by two candles, back to the fact that the woman living under the same roof with him was his mission, not his real wife, as the villagers knew her to be. There was no way a witcher could dream of having a wife and a family, let alone with a princess!
“Need anything?” The voice was gentle, happy…it was caring. It made Geralt smile to think that someone cared so deeply for him, that he was actually having a domestic life, even though a fake one.
“Your company would be nice,” he quipped.
Geralt grinned wickedly. He did not need to see her to know the blush creeping up her ears and cheek.
Over the months their relationship - real or fake, whatever that was - had built into a strong bond, one that was made of cares, banters, challenges, huffs (and not just from the witcher), puns of all kinds and fluttering heartbeats. And though neither backed down during the banters or the puns, either one of them definitely ended up with blood rushing up their cheeks.
(Y/N) bit her lip and rolled her eyes. Two could play this game. Taking a deep breath, she cracked the door open. It startled Geralt, and she could tell it without seeing his wide eyes and parted lips.
“I believe you have a lot to talk about from your adventure?” She slowly walked in, eyes straining to look anywhere but at him.
She did not receive an immediate response. How could she! Geralt was spellbound by the boldness of this woman! It was inspired by his own recent boldness, perhaps, he wondered.
He cleared his throat, “Indeed.”
She picked up a small wooden stool, and sat with her back to him. “You were saying?”
“I would detail everything but are you sure you can stomach all that? And before dinner?”
Glimpses from his previous tales crept back, and she gulped at the gory imaginations that his words had painted in her head. Perhaps she could not. But would she confess? No!
“I’m tougher than you think, witcher.”
This was their usual way of addressing each other: “Witcher”, with a sarcastic stress in the middle of the word, and “Princess”, with a vanity enveloping the word.
When they had set out for their journey, she had requested him not to call her “princess”. “I have a name, and I would like to be addressed by it,” she had insisted. But Geralt had decided on maintaining his propriety.
When asked whether he would like to be addressed as Geralt or Witcher, he had simply mumbled, “Whatever you like, Princess.”
“Witcher it is then.”
And that has ever been going on, until recently when some rare moments witnessed them addressing each other by their names, and not what they were to the world.
In the small bathroom now, she heard a slosh behind her, signalling the rise of the large man from his bath. She tried her best to stop her shameless mind from picturing his wet body, dripping with water as he stood and stepped out of the tub, as he reached for the towel nearby and dried himself with it before wrapping it low around his waist. But the quiet of the night made sure that every little sound and movement reached her ears, leaving her a slave to her unabashed imagination.
Geralt grunted, the sound coming from right above her head.
“I know you can’t take it…Princess,” the last word was practically breathed on the shell of her ear.
Leaving her a total mess, Geralt sauntered out of the bathroom with a promise to indulge her in his stories after dinner.
That night, in the faint light of the moon, nimble fingers traced the contours of the witcher’s face as he slept - brows slightly arched, lips parted, face as serene as a dawn in Spring. She watched him breathe peacefully, devoid of the cares of the world, until a small smile cracked at a corner of his mouth. With eyes still closed, he placed a hand on hers and brought it to his lips. A chaste kiss was all it was, and yet it had her heart thundering. He had never - ever - shown any affection other than soft looks and gentle smiles.
“Sleep princess,” he rasped in a sleepy voice.
He opened his eyes once, to watch her smile at him, before holding her hand snuggly and drifting back to sleep.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Present day:
The sound of the door cracking open brought her back to the present. Quickly slipping a little more below the soapy water, she gripped the hilt of her sword.
It was Geralt. The moment he set one foot inside, his eyes went wide. It took him hardly a second to swing on his heels, to look away, but the sinful image had planted itself in his head. Probably for eternity.
“Pardon me. I…I did not know… I thought you were done. I just returned from outside; I did not notice that you were not anywhere else. I…”
“Geralt!” His name. She spoke his name! That, along with her soothing tone put an abrupt end to his string of stammering apologies. “It’s alright. I know you had no ill intentions.”
Shifting uncomfortably on his feet for a couple of seconds, he asked, “Do you need anything?”
Her lips stretched into a smirk as she recalled an old conversation that had occurred under very similar circumstances.
“Your company would be nice,” she quipped, just like Geralt had a few months ago.
The witcher recognised the joke immediately. A small smile escaped his usual serious features.
“I believe you have a lot to talk about your first kill,” he jested just like she had back then.
The sigh that filled the room made Geralt wonder if he had said something uncalled for. She was shaken by the incident but if she was making jokes now, she must be recovering. Right?
“(Y/N),” Geralt called without looking at her, “are you alright?”
“No, if truth be told,” came the confession.
He understood. Keeping his gaze focused on the floor, he took a few large steps until he was standing near the foot of the tub. In one smooth move, he was sitting on the floor with his back to her.
There was something about Geralt that made her feel protected all the time. Even in her most exposed and vulnerable state, she felt safe and comfortable with him around. And it was not just the love she felt for him. It was something else. It was something…very “Geralt”.
“The monsters we kill haunt our minds till long after. You never get used to it no matter how many kills you have made,” he sighed.
(Y/N) listened quietly. He was a man of few words, and at most times it seemed as though he was not even listening. But he always understood every single unexpressed emotion, every single unsaid word that she carried within her.
“Every time I close my eyes or every time I hear something, fear grips me,” she shivered at the thought. “You are right. I'm haunted by its memory, and … I cannot seem to shake the thoughts off. No matter how hard I try! I cannot even be courageous enough to convince myself that it is all in my head!” She slapped the water in frustration.
Unlike the witcher, killing monsters was not her profession nor did she volunteer for it. But what she did volunteer for was accompanying Geralt to a trip to the river caves for some herbs. Despite the witcher’s efforts to shield her inside the safety of their home, she managed to argue her way out of the proverbial safety net. Which is what led to the unforeseen event of her first close encounter with one of the many monsters that had become part of Geralt’s life. It also led her to, for the first time, being at the receiving end of Geralt’s fury for risking her life .
‘You were very courageous back there,” Geralt smiled at the memory of her driving her sword through the neck of the drowner, thus saving his own neck in the process.
“I had to be! Couldn’t just stand there and watch my favourite grumpy fellow die!” She jested about it but a shiver ran up her spine as she spoke. “It was disgusting, you know? I can still feel all the blood and slime on my skin.”
“It was also very brave. You saved my life!”
He had thought that his statement would make her proud but he was met with silence.
She spoke after a while. “You do know that I shall not be able to live anymore if something happens to you, don’t you? I shall only survive.”
Geralt’s heart suddenly felt very heavy in his chest. What she said was known information to him. Somewhere in his soul, he knew that she loved him. But to hear it aloud was totally unexpected.
“I shall be fine, princess,” he used his most assuring voice. “Do not worry about me.”
Unseen by him, a smile formed on her countenance. “I know, witcher.”
“Maybe we could talk about something else?” He suggested. “Take your mind off the monster?”
“Hmm… How is Jaskier?” She suddenly asked.
Geralt almost turned his head towards her in surprise. Almost. She was naked, having a bath, and the first “something else” that came to her mind was the bard??
“Jaskier?” He asked. “You wish to talk about Jaskier now?”
“Well, you wanted to talk about something else!”
Was that jealousy that she was sensing in his huffs? She hoped it was.
“He must be fine. I do not know.” He ended the topic as quickly as it had begun.
“Hmm.”
The princess laid her head back on the tub and closed her eyes. There was a comfortable silence. So comfortable that she did want to leave, did not want to do anything that might disturb the moment. Even though it was getting late. Even though Geralt still had to wash himself.
Geralt still has to wash himself! Shit! He must be hungry!
Her eyes shot open. “I’m sorry, I forgot you have to wash up, too! I shall be quick.”
The sudden splash of water pulled Geralt out of his own reverie, inadvertently causing him to turn around so as to ask her not to hurry. But the sight before him left him speechless. It was fortunate that she was too busy to see him else he would never have been able to face her in shame. Geralt turned back and shut his eyes as soon as he snapped out of his trance. But that did nothing to erase the image imprinted in his mind. Not that he wanted to.
She had pulled herself up slightly, as she tried to reach for the towel on the nearby stool. In the light of the candles, her body glowed golden as water cascaded off every curve of her body… down the side of her neck, her shoulders, two perfect globes that highlighted particularly well in the candlelight, perky nipples that had hardened in the water, the beginning of a lustful waist…
He did not hear her step out of the tub, did not hear the rustle of clothes as she got dressed, no. His mind was replaying the same thing over and over again. There was an evident twitch somewhere down his body. He faintly heard something about dinner and changing the water. The creak of the door pulled him back.
“I shall…” His voice was hoarse. “I shall change the water. You may leave.”
The change in his mannerism surprised her but then both his voice and attitude were gravelly most of the time. With a small “alright”, she exited, leaving him to his thoughts.
Dinner was quiet as Geralt tried to suppress the feelings bubbling inside him. He wanted to look at her and lose himself in her eyes. He wanted to tell her how he felt. Wanted to show her what it meant to unleash months of bridled love that he had been carrying within his entire being. He wanted to…
Gods! There were so many things that he wanted to do. But every time he talked himself into taking one step forward, his reality made him take two steps back.
And so, once again, he retired to bed without telling her anything at all about the whirlwind in his heart.
Geralt woke up sometime in the middle of the night, sensing some movements near him. Once sleep stopped fogging his senses, he realised that it was (Y/N) tossing and turning beside him in her sleep. Not only was she being restless, she was mumbling something incoherent that only got louder with her movements. It hardly took him a couple of seconds to realise that she was having a nightmare!
Geralt tried to wake her up: called her name, shook her. But she was trapped deep in her own head. He thought he heard something like his name but could not be sure. Seeing his efforts go in vain, he took her face in both hands and shouted her name while shaking her once more. He wasn’t sure if it would work but luckily, it did. With wild eyes she stared at him, as if trying to figure out where she was, trying to put up a wall between her horrid imagination and sweet reality. When she finally came around, she threw her arms around Geralt’s neck, causing him to tumble to the mattress with her below. Once again, he fought with himself as a wave of relief washed over him, eventually crashing into a strong desire to keep her encased in his arms and caress her for the remainder of the night.
“I dreamt that you were…” she almost sobbed. “That I had…” She couldn’t bring those bitter words to her tongue.
Geralt understood.
“You will never lose me. I shall always be by your side. I promise.”
In the dark veil of the night, in those weak moments, he made her a promise that even he did not know how he would keep, for she would be married to some royalty some day; she would have to go away, leaving him with his solitude and monsters. He could not keep her to himself nor could he watch her be with somebody else.
But that was a worry for another day. Right then, she was in his arms, and no one else’s. Even if for a moment, she was his. He lay on his side and pulled her to his chest. A hand cradled her head, drawing soothing lines through her hair, until her warm breath on his skin had become stable.
Geralt never seeked help or answers from the gods; he did not believe in them. But as he kissed the crown of her head that night, his lips prayed for her safety and happiness, and if possible, for her to be bound to him for eternity.
He knew he was being selfish. He did not know who heard his prayers or even if there was someone who might hear them. But he whispered them anyway, believing that it was the only way to make his wishes come true.
***
187 notes · View notes
megu-meow · 1 month
Text
when a fire starts to burn - sukuna
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sukuna x fem. reader (reader is Nanami's sister)
Part 2 of my Hockey Player Sukuna Series - Part 1
Lmk if you would like me to create a taglist! :D
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Sukuna finds himself looking forward to Sunday. He suddenly considers texting you non-stop not enough. He wants to see you in person. He wants to see with his own eyes how you react to his flirtatious comments, he often wonders if they make you blush. He is convinced that they do, considering that sometimes you react with unintelligible keyboard slams. He loves it, but seeing it in person would be hundred times better.
He considers himself enchanted by you. He finds it undoubtedly easy to talk to you, he loves telling you about his day and he certainly enjoys hearing about yours. He loves how passionate you are about your job, how excited you get about office gossip, and how you never hesitate to text him whenever the smallest thing happens to you throughout the day. The hardest part is hiding the fact that he is talking to you constantly from his Captain, your brother.
"Sweetheart, when is Bambi coming?" he hears Nanami's wife, Sophia question from the kitchen while Sukuna is sitting on the couch in the living room, and his ears perk up once he hears that adorable nickname of yours being mentioned.
"She's not coming here. We're meeting at the cafe." Nanami responds as he leaves their bedroom.
"Why is that? I haven't seen her in a while, I wanted to give her the souvenir I got her from Thailand."
"She's tired and irritated, she said she wants to hear about your travels when she's in a better mood."
Sukuna's grin widens. He knows why you're tired. He knows why you're irritated. The two of you stayed up texting until 5 in the morning and your conversation ended with him calling your cat stupid, which offended you deeply. The thing is, Sukuna is severely allergic to cats so he couldn't comprehend the cuteness of your cat even after receiving ten pictures of the sleeping feline from you. And you couldn't accept him calling your child stupid either. Nonetheless, he was displeased that you were not seeing him today in person. What's worse is that they're leaving tomorrow for a road trip which is scheduled to last at least a week, if not more. He doesn't really understand why he has these feelings after two weeks of knowing you, he usually wouldn't care about something so insignificant, but he figures that you were an enigma enough to entertain these thoughts running around in his mind about you. Once Nanami leaves the house, Sukuna retreats to his momentary room and starts packing his bag for the upcoming road trip. He has gained a lot of fans after the amazing debut he had with the team and now there's a lot of pressure on him to live up to the expectations. If everything goes right, he should get a raise in a couple of months, after the regular season is over and he will be able to get his own place after that. Despite enjoying how his current situation gives him more opportunities to see you in person, Sukuna hates leeching on others, so he cannot wait to get himself out of your brother's apartment.
While you're out with your brother, you cannot stop thinking about the pink-haired player currently living with Nanami. You really wanted to see him today, but you didn't want to cause suspicions with Kento and Sophia. Those two were incredibly good at figuring out when you have a crush on someone. This is not the case here with Sukuna - or at least you try to convince yourself about that. Regardless, you're being cautious.
However, your plan is thrown out the window by Sukuna himself, as he walks into the cafe and sits down at your table. Both Nanami and you glare at him in disbelief. He ignores your confused expressions as the waiter approaches and he orders the same thing he did two weeks ago.
"What are you doing here, Sukuna?" Kento questions, clear irritation in his tone.
"I told you this before, I'm extremely superstitious. The last time we had a game on Sunday and I joined you guys for brunch, I scored five goals, may I remind you. So I decided, to include this in my game-day routine." he explains, while gesturing to the situation at hand. His eyes jump in between you and Nanami as he tries to figure out how you feel about his bluntness. "And you, Captain, cannot say anything against this, because tonight, I'm gonna win the game for us."
Nanami is speechless, while the pink-haired guy grins, his enjoyment evident. He is having too much fun with the current situation, in your opinion. Kento looks at you expectantly, he doesn't really have a say in this matter. You were the one to decide that Sunday Brunch was just for the two of you.
You started chewing the inside of your mouth nervously. Sukuna trapped you into a corner: hockey players - or professional athletes in general - were peculiar about their routines. You heard of the most unhinged pre-game routines over the years, you were aware of how much goes into the mental preparation for games. You couldn't possibly sabotage Sukuna's career with the Wizards just because you want to be selfish about the time you spend with your brother. However, this is a really bad idea. You know why the pink-haired idiot is doing this: he wants to spend time with you. But this is a dangerous game, one that your brother would surely not approve of. Sukuna is secretive. He's arrogant and full of himself. He challenges you and is constantly on a mission to irritate you. That's why you don't understand why the next words leave your mouth.
"Sure, everything for the team right?"
Sukuna grins widely, as he crosses his muscular, tatted arms in front of his chest and leans back in his chair. His dark eyes are glimmering with joy as he looks at you, winking sneakily.
"Okay, Bambi. But..." he sighs deeply "If your performance falters, Sukuna, this ends right away."
"Understood!" he agrees, saluting your brother jokingly.
That Sunday, Sukuna scores a hat trick and gets an assist. It seems like he is determined not to screw up this unique opportunity to spend meaningful time with you every fricking Sunday. After the game, Akane, Senna, and Sophia convince you to go out with them and the team as they're celebrating the goaltender's birthday. You agree, despite knowing that you are gonna regret this decision in the morning. You often join the team for these kinds of occasions considering you have a good relationship with every one of them. You're having a good time, chasing around coach Yaga's kid, who has an unmistakable bump on his forehead. He probably ran into a table or something earlier, but it doesn't stop him from running around like a maniac. Once you catch him and pick him up, you are determined to deliver him back to his mother, who is to your frustration, talking to Sukuna.
"How are your brothers? Aren't they missing you now that they're far away from you?" you don't want to listen to their conversation, but you can't really help it as you hear the question being asked.
"They're gonna be alright. It's Yuji's draft year so he was about to move away soon anyway. And Choso is Choso, he's gonna go wherever Yuji goes."
Sukuna spots you and grins, he cannot help but think that you look incredible, even with the child clinging to your side.
"Special delivery!" you exclaim as you give the child back to his mother. The toddler's energy has faltered significantly and his mother looks at you gratefully for tiring him out. She says goodbye to you, leaving you alone with Sukuna.
"You have brothers?" you ask curiously.
"It's not nice to listen to someone's conversation, you know, sweet pea?!"
"I - I'm sorry, I didn't mean to..."
"Don't worry your pretty little head, I don't really care honestly." he teases "Yeah, I do have brothers. Two, to be exact."
"Are you close?"
"Yeah. They're brats tho."
"Figured."
"You wound me, y/n. I'll let you know, I am the best brother ever."
"I doubt that."
"Well, I would be the best boyfriend for sure, there would be not doubt about that one." he adds, winking at you, mischief evident in his features. You can't help the blush appearing on your face and Sukuna relishes the feeling of pride that takes over him. He was right, it is 100 times better now that he can see your reactions.
"You're such a flirt, Sukuna."
"Only for you, y/n. I hope you know that."
"Yeah? Prove it."
"Well, how about you let me take you out on a date once I'm back from our road trip?" you knew he was a straightforward guy, but he never expected him to be this blunt. His eyes scan your face rapidly for any kind of reaction, you get that feeling again, that he can read your thoughts just by looking at you. You misjudged him. You thought this guy was a master of hiding his feelings, but this time around, his eyes are sparkling with hope. He doesn't seem worried or scared of rejection, which is slightly irritating, but what did you expect from a guy with a big ego like his?! "I don't have all day, y/n!" he frowns, and despite his words seeming harsh, they come out as more nervous than demanding. You have him under a spell that he cannot understand just yet, he feels the adrenaline rushing through his veins as he impatiently waits for your answer. Suddenly, you smile brightly and Sukuna's worries are forgotten just like that.
"Okay. I'll let you take me out on a date."
Sukuna is beaming with happiness, but unfortunately, it doesn't last too long. On their way to Kyoto, Kento sits beside him on the bus.
"What do you want from my sister?" he asks, his demeanor completely different from the usual.
"What?"
"You heard me! First, you get yourself invited to brunch. Then, you're openly flirting with her at Panda's party. So, tell me what you want from my sister!"
Sukuna swallows hard, his Adam's apple jumping visibly. He has to play his cards right, otherwise he will have to forget about your date. He is perceptive enough to know, that you would never go out with him if your brother didn't approve of it. He knew from day one that he had to get Kento's blessing. He considered doing the cliche things that happen in movies and books, hiding it from him and letting the whole thing explode in his face, but Sukuna has a stronger sense of justice and fairness than to betray the person who took him in like that.
"I asked her out on a date. I don't think I have to tell you, but your sister is gorgeous, intelligent, and absolutely amazing. I plan to treat her with respect, I don't want to hurt her feelings. I will not tell anyone on the team about this, you know that I do not participate in locker-room talk and I don't plan on changing that. I would like to take her out to a nice restaurant and have a great conversation with her. Those are my intentions for now."
"For now?"
"Well, I don't want to get ahead of myself. I won't say that I would like that date to be followed by a second one, because there's no guarantee that's something she would enjoy. I do believe she is special, but whatever this leads to, she will be the one to set the pace. I would never rush any woman into anything, especially not someone like y/n."
"What the fuck does that mean?"
"Well, I knew since December that your sister is the kind of person you meet once in a lifetime, guess I had a hunch. And my hunch was right. She deserves the world. And if she gives me a chance, that's exactly what I would like to give."
"What do you mean you knew since December? You barely moved here four weeks ago and it's April. You guys met two weeks ago."
"I spotted her at one of our games. I guessed she traveled with you guys for the Family Game."
"She did. Are you implying you had eyes for her for five months just to get my approval? Or is any of this true?" Kento questions with furrowed eyebrows.
"I'm fucking offended that you would think of me so lowly that I would come up with an elaborate lie like this just to get into your sister's pants. Believe me, if that was the case, I wouldn't care a single bit about your approval." Sukuna explains.
Kento sighs, deeply. He lived with Sukuna for four weeks. The guy is insanely chill, despite his odd looks. He literally goes to practice, works out, and plays video games. He never hears him talking about anyone, especially not women, with disrespect. Hell, he never mentioned any woman before. He's been brutally honest with everyone and he's been nothing but gallant. However, Nanami knows what hockey players are like. He also heard rumors about the pink-haired prodigy from his old teammates. Thus his hesitation.
"Give me a few days. By the time we get back home, I will have your answer."
Sukuna nods understandingly. This is going to be the longest road trip of his entire life.
Part 3
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