#and yes these two dorks

[pure-oddity]

Fast foodies know the deal

Ghost x reader

(not proof read, this is just fluff straight from the source

Warnings: none, ovulation mention maybe? Its brought up a single time.)

The craving hits around 3 in the morning, it's ovulation week so the idea of not getting chicken nuggets from the drive through makes you want to cry.

You turn towards the sleeping lug beside you. He's on his back, breaths deep and even. Still as a grave but at your movement he takes the arm you had been using as a pillow to drag you further into his side.

Your Simon, took you forever just to get the man to admit he did more than tolerate you. even longer to admit he cared for you. It took you almost using his toothbrush to realize that the man might actually (gasp) like you. That one you didn't push, figured he'd come to terms with it on his own.

As you look at how peaceful he seems you try to fight the urge, you really do, but as you prop yourself up on your elbows and move closer to Simon's ear you resign to begging his forgiveness later.

"Simon, my baby? You sleeping?"

You wouldn't have known he was a awake had it not been for the lone eye opening to check on you

"Was, love. I was. Whats wrong, bad dream? Y' Can turn on the telly to that duck cartoon or the robots - won't bother me none." He rubs a comforting hand up and down your back, he's being so sweet you really do start to feel bad.

"I want chicken nuggets."

Silence.

Both eyes are open now.

The silence continues.

You smile sheepishly.

Wordlessly simon extracts his arm and turns so his back is to you.

"Nnooooooo! Simon pleeeaase. Pretty please? I want chicken nuggets so bad!"

"Go ahead. keys are on the rack, tanks full."

"Nooo you have to take me! come on baby please, for me?"

"My love. Sunshine. Light of my life. If you're hungry i made a perfecly good roast last night. Heat that up and let a man rest."

"I dont want a perfectly good roast! I want chicken nuggets. And a burger. And fries - oh maybe a shake?" You lean over him, hair purposely hung over into his face. He turns quickly and you're nose to nose

"So youre gonna have me get up at 3 fucking a.m. to get you a greasey, artey clogging, cholesterol raising gastrointestinal disaster of a meal - when we have a perfectly good home made dinner in the fridge."

"....please?"

Silence.

A deep suffering sigh.

An ecstatic squee

"Just get your fuckin shoes on"

------

You lean back over into the passenger seat, simon grumpy faced as you insisted that you should be the one to order.

You pat your thighs in glee as he pulls up to the window, gives you a dirty look , and hands the cashier his card.

The second window delivers your meal and drink quickly, you dig in like a starved animal. You're mid chew when he gives a grunt. A snooty sounding eh hem.

You grin and giggle, slowly airplaning him a nugget.

"Give me the chicken or i'll take the whole box"

You squeak and shove it to his lips quickly. His jaws snap around the nugget and it's gone within a single bite - you retract your fingers, still intact but wet with spit.

You give an 'eeeech' and look for somewhere to wipe your hand.

"Any of this ends up in or on my interior and it'll be your arse."

You roll your eyes and reach in the bag for a napkin, knocking the fries over in the process.

Silence.

The car drifts slowly to the left and is parked along the side of the road.

Not a word spoken.

You try to shove as many back into the carton as possible.

He stares at you.

You smile sweetly at him before leaning over the center console and kissing him. You meet his lips, they're stretched into a dangerous grin.

"Love" kiss "did you" kiss "spill salt" kiss "in my truck?"

You might not know a lot, but you know that voice means you're in trouble, which means it's distraction time.

You continue your sweet onslaught of kisses.

"Thank you for taking me baby, I love you so much. ", another smooch

is delivered.

"Youre my person, my favorite guy, love of my life."

He bites at your lip and you barely manage to slip it from his teeth

"Wanna spend the rest of my life with you, grow old with you"

He grips the back of your head and maneuvers your ear to his mouth, in a deep rumble he asks

"Are there fries on my floor, love?"

The dangerous smile still present.

"No of course not baby! i cleaned those up."

"So my truck is fry free?"

"Well - no didn't say that. there's a, a few under the seat"

He's grappling you into his lap now, the man looks a hint deranged.

"And why, my love, are you telling me about them instead getting them?"

he presses.

"'Cause I - hehe - I can't reach!" You giggle out as his hands slink towards your sides.

He pokes and prods at you, growling not unlike a bear while you squeal and squeak out little laughs.

"Gets a man up at ass o'clock-"

"Oh please, you get up early anyway!"

"makes him drive to get congealed grease-"

"you had a nugget too!"

"Then trashes his truck."

"Oh please it's like a handful of fries, I'll get them, i'll get them!"

He frees you with a huff and you dive back over to your side of the car. You pop open your door and hop outside to get a better angle at the underside of the seat. He gets impatient as you fish around for the last few fries, giving a little hurrah as the last one is snatched.

Clambering back into the truck you grin at him, happy as can be. He hums a short laugh, and you're off to home again.

He makes a beeline for the bedroom and you trot over to the counter to finish your meal, most of it having been shared and eaten in the truck. You sit back a moment to enjoy the feeling of fullness when you see Simon emerge again.

"Bed. Now. Kept me up long enough" he's already on you before you can think of a reply, slung over his shoulder. He makes quick work of getting you both situated in your proper spots.

You're snuggled into his side for the night, full and content. He breathes in deep and exhales slowly. you draw nonsensical patterns on his bare chest, playing with the hair there. As sleep overtakes you, your palm flattens over the spot where his heart resides; and you feel him relax just a smidgen more.

#simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #fluff #odd stories #all of this was also written on a phone #so like of formating is weird thats why #simon riley fanfic #simon riley fluff #is it so wrong to want a big beefy grumo to get up in the dark of the morning to get you food???? i think not #is he maybe ooc in this? perhaps. perhaps. do i just wanna write a story in which the man is happy and has a dork of a spouse? ye. #also when i have nightmares i watch one of two cartoons on mute- its either transformers or darkwing duck! #sunshine series

[maybeitsalivescribbles]

TTD - And then They Were Roommates ™

Before Villain was their roommate, Hero never had any peculiar feeling about their apartment. They were grateful to have a roof over their head, but were not particularly picky about how it looked like under. It wasn’t like they had the kind of time to arrange the place. To be honest, with their working hours, they didn’t see why they would find energy left for this. As long as they had a bed and electricity, it was fine. The result was a reasonably clean room, but a rather bland place. The only thing that was really personal was the vanity in the bathroom, covered with hair products and beads of all colors. At Villain’s displeasure, Hero spent hours in front of it, because unlike some people whining from behind the door, they had their priorities well in order.

True, Hero had felt a bit insecure when Villain had entered for the first time, stopping in front of every furniture with such solemnity you’d swear they were staring at a masterpiece in a museum. Flustered, the not-so-proud owner had explained that they were not that rich, but Villain had seldom made any comment, and well, with their shadow covering them it wasn’t like their body language was readable. Maybe they were tired too, and after their place had just been destroyed by Supervillain it was understandable. They’d glistened towards the guest room and locked their door without a word.

The agency had called in the middle of that night for news. Hero, toying with their blanket, had assured their superior on the phone that yes, Supervillain had been destroyed for good, no they weren’t making it up, and oh by the way, Villain had reformed and changed their ways, hmmhmm, yep, definitively. On the other side of the line, that declaration was met by no little skepticism. After one hour of pleading, they’d at last convinced their interlocutor not to send a team to eliminate the threat. The next day, they were ordered to keep Villain under lock and key. Villain had stared when they’d shyly explained the situation to them, brandishing a padlock they didn’t really know how to use, and had only said:

“I could open this pathetic thing in my sleep.”

Given how gifted Villain was with building tools and machines, it was probably no idle boast. The good news, though, was that they’d accepted to stay in their room whenever they were left alone as long as Hero would give them an old game-boy left in a drawer for years to keep them occupied. As time passed, it became evident that Villain was an indoor creature who was delighted at the idea of not stepping outside ever again. In return, Hero had given them pretty much whatever they wanted, including scraps of metal and lots of tools. At first, they’d said nothing, but when parts of the room had began to be covered with sinister forms, they’d felt they had to put their foot down:

“You are not building a torture room in my place.”

“What else am I supposed to do, you oppressor ?”

“I’m the one paying the taxes.”

Villain had sulked for a moment after that, but then they’d suddenly asked:

“Aha, but what if my torture tools were also useful appliances?”

Hero had stared and said:

“No.”

“No as no or no as it can’t be?”

“Both.”

“You have little faith.”

Villain had immediately put themself to work. In an alarmingly short time, they’d built a tiny guillotine for the kitchen. It could cut even coconuts properly, in one strike. Hero couldn’t use it much, because it made them feel sorry for the poor vegetables (especially after seeing Villain do it, yelling “death to all of you, you feeble preys!” at a bunch a carrots), but they had to acknowledge it was a decent tool to slice a loaf of bread. Actually, Villain was good with the kitchen in general. Being disturbingly fond of cutting vegetables and fruits, it was no surprise that they’d fallen in love with the blender Hero had never used before:

“For what it is but a miniature death trap, where my innocent victims are trapped in a transparent prison and melted into oblivion by unforgiving blades?”

Hero had asked what kind of blade would be forgiving, and they’d got lightly tapped on the head with a cardboard tube for their trouble. But the outcome of all of this was a fridge always filled with bottles full of drinkable food that never got Hero’s stomach upset. Villain had even made a damn acupuncture chair which spikes looked deadly, but were in fact quite soothing. After that they’d stood up, and Hero just knew that they were puffing their chest behind their shadow:

“So, have I succeeded in my impossible task?”

And Hero could do nothing but answer:

“Yes. Completely. It’s genius.”

And it was. Really, the biggest beef they had was the time when Villain had stolen their two favorite magnets on the fridge. They’d stopped dead in front of the aro and ace pride flags that fixated the to-do lists of the day, declared that green, purple and black were traditional colors for villains and so they were “bound to have them”, had yoinked them and flied back to their room before Hero had time to react. And as much as they were for people exploring their own identity, how were they supposed to keep their groceries list in sight now?

But none of this was the weirdest thing. It was the fact that whenever Hero returned to their place with all these strange additions, it didn’t feel bad or crowded. It was the strange new and warm feeling that finally they were home, they were home, they were home.

(Though they still wanted their magnets back.)

*

Check the These Two Dorks Masterlist or Tag for more snippets with this Hero and Villain. This is how they met and now they’re roommates.

Or back to Hero x Villain Masterlist.

#hero x villain #hero villain community #writeblr #writers on tumblr #villain and hero #heroes and villains #hero and villain #original fiction #my writing #writing snippet #writing drabble #fluff #writing dialogue #creative writing #these two dorks #platonic relationships #aroace oc #since my question has been answered you all get a bonus update #this is me yelling from the top of my lungs with my usual subtlety that they’re both aroace #slowly moving towards a #QPR #queer platonic relationship #yes that’s why I was suddenly worried about the villain x hero tag #I’m not big on romance in general you won’t find a lot in here #yes I know Vampire Hero and his wife no I don’t have an explanation for that either

[sysig]

Didn’t know you had it in you, did you (Patreon)

#Doodles #Adventure Time #Fionna and Cake #Simon Petrikov #Winter King #Winterkov #What? Me? Enjoying a self/ ship ft. two dorks wearing glasses? Haha couldn't be me that doesn't sound like me at all #Trading one Tom Kenny brainworms for another sheesh - Tom Kenny stop voicing queer scientists challenge (impossible) #I hadn't drawn Simon before but I have known he's a massive cute for a heck while now lol #And yeah confirmed - he's Really fun to draw especially this iteration #His crows feet and hair streak ugh <3 #Plus I've just missed this style of eye more than I realized haha #And Winter just flows off my pencil like water like woah #I blame Spamton at least partially for that lol although he's easier to draw than Spamton :0 #Spamton is very fun! Winter's just easier for some reason :0 #Maybe 'cause he's so soft-faced haha ♥ And I don't use my colours on him lol #Honestly I only count this as self-slash on a technicality - yes they're both Simon bodily but that's not really Simon in Winter anymore huh #Maybe to some extent - he's still a scientist and all but honestly there's a comment I can't stop thinking about since I saw it #About how really that's The Crown using Simon as a host just without the madness - and his skills aid in keeping him lucid #So it's like a ghost puppeting your clone's still-living corpse more so than kissing yourself :) In my opinion lol #And I don't say that to get away from self-shipping! I love that stuff!! That's just genuinely how I read Winter now haha #Not that he wouldn't play into it lol #I've seen a ''I am like this so you are also like this :) Right Simon? :) You're like this'' and I enjoy that very much #Manipulative so and so <3

[crescentmoonrider]

j. jakedirk kissy?

dorks

sorry for the wait !! it was 3am where i am when you sent this, so i was eepy, and then i had to take a day to recuperate

hairy Jake with the shitty teenage attempted beard.... glasses getting in the way, noses getting crushed.... ah, young love~

i missed them, thank you for getting me the opportunity to draw them again !

#yumi's art #homestuck #jake english #dirk strider #dirkjake #small valentines event #yumi got asked stuff #slowpokedragon #dorks #<- yes that is literally my dirkjake tag lmao #two homestuck asks for this event !!! #im so happy !!! its really nostalgic hehe #but also with this i am !!! done !!! #i definitely was Not expecting 9 whole asks #last time i did that i got 2 sdfsfdgfh #if i do this again ill have to change things #not sure how. but ill have to plan #damn i cant believe ive reached a point #where i cant just go 'this could be fun' #and just throw up a post #and not get almost buried in my own hubris #well its not hubris if you think too low probably #altho self-deprecation /is/ still selfish in the end #where was i going with this #oh yeah the event !! lots of fun #but also maybe too much work #for what little thought i gave the initial idea #so yeah. lots to chew on later #but for now i rest !!! take care yall <3

[danmeigirl]

#zhuge qing #wang ye #hitori no shita #i am nobody #chinese drama #cdrama #not my edit #honey i'm soft for them #i should just let these two dorks consume me whole in their fandom #neo hou #hou minghao #julio wan yan #bromance

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

listen maybe this is just because i've always been a slut for pov outsider fics anyway but i desperately want some on our dork trent crimm. like. the character development??? his softness and dorkification???? i need someone to be like just. what do people think about this. like whether it's a random richmond player, a random reporter trent worked with, someone from trent's personal life, another rando in the sports field who's used to trent crimm, the independent, ruthless reporter, or whoever, just. random people watching trent crimm go from "ah yeah that asshole reporter who specifically has a reputation for being a ruthless cutting bitch" to "openly excitable dork who clearly cares so goddamn much and is visibly softer and has he just secretly always been like this??"

it would probably have to be someone who's close enough to him or richmond now to like, be able to see the change, but i just. am obsessed with this. and that's not even getting into considering the angles of his possible ex-wife/divorce + if non-audience-members can tell he's madly in love with ted or not, because i'm not sure if it's funnier if they're like "trent crimm is a huge dork now and we have no idea why????? i guess this is just the lasso effect fucking bending reality again??" or if they're like "hey fucking WILD that that one journalist specifically known for being a huge asshole apparently fell so ass over teakettle in love with that weird cowboy miracle worker of a gaffer that he divorced his wife, exploded his job, and had a radical personality shift via apparently deciding to be emotionally vulnerable. and all of this after writing a pretty fucked exposé on him?? why does no one talk about this more"

and while all the possibilities mentioned are great in their own ways, it could even be one of the other main characters whos just not generally involved in his storyline like. what does sam think of all this. what is jamie thinking when trent becomes their emotional support journalist dork. what does keeley think.

#rebecca: he fucking got you too huh. #god fucking. nate. brushing aside the extremely serious ramifications this would have #im just picturing nate coming back to or visiting richmond post like #redemption arc for lack of a better term #and just like. uh. hey. hey? hey is that trent crimm? #hm? oh yeah. hes our emotional support dork now. he's writing a book about ted #and nates like. oh. kay? and then just. after a bit of observing. hey. uh. was trent replaced by a pod person? no? alright. cool #you miss a season or two of someones character arc and suddenly they're unrecognizable smh /j #ted lasso spoilers #just in case #trent crimm #tedependent #tedtrent #also i admit i just love the idea of throwing trent at different characters and thinking about how that would go #desperately want to see one on one interactions between trent and dani #just bc i lvoe both of them and also i think it would be amazing #or like. trent and will. i would just like to see it. #but yes its also bc i have trent crimm is my blorbo disease

[fleething]

do you all remember that moment in s2 when the owner of the magic shop says he can’t attend the monthly meeting bc he is “taking his beloved spouse out to dinner”? do you also remember the look crowley gives aziraphale as these words are being said? and sure, it could mean ‘well, how are you going to convince him to come now?’ but i like to think it means ‘why am I not a beloved spouse being taken out to dinner as well?’

#this is canon and you cannot change my mind #crowley is like #i’m a babygirl and i deserve nice things #pls angel #oh and the az tells the things abt the magic book and crowley is like ah yes i remember i am married to an oblivious nerd #while HE is busy playing with the crystal ball and az is like ah yes my husband the dork #they are perfect for each other #and then he got left for the position of ceo of heaven #this is fine #im still not at all affected by the second season of the show with an angel and a demon which came out over two months ago #good omens #ineffable husbands #crowley #aziraphale #good omens season 2 #ineffable spouses

[sapphosclown]

i feel like i appreciate dan and phil as people so much more now at 20 than i did at 13

#like yes i loved them but i also was weird and annoying the way 13 year olds are #but now i’m just like. these are two dorks and they make me laugh and i’ve learned how to behave the parasocial tendencies #like mostly #also thinking about how i am as old as they were ten years ago as they were starting their careers is insane to me & i do think ab it often #dan and phil

[sketchyelvenasss]

Dearest, for as splendorous and immeasurable the pleasures of our time spent entwined in the weave…I wish to have you as you are. We are flesh and heat and sweat and I desire for every part of it. I want for every part of you. When we seek each other again I covet to give back to you, as best I can, as much as you’ve given to me. Sooner than later, I hope.

—A

#gale dekarios #aerika dyrr #galetav #might and magic #Aerika writes Gale love notes #bg3 #bg3 gale #gale of waterdeep #gale x tav #yes he says dear and dearest un-ironically #these two dorks #astral sex is great but sometimes you just wanna physically touch your partner #also for as short as the physical interaction is it’s so romantic still

[seyaryminamoto]

It has been a day, and I just couldn't get anything else done while in the moodiest mood I could be.

Sooo... they're the best recipe I know to cure my heart from misery. I'd done this sketchdump a while ago, figured I'd spend my day working on this rather than everything else, and I'd say it helped if just a bit. Dropping it here even if it's not that great because, who knows, maybe someone else needs a dose of domestic Sokkla being happy dorks together in these trying times.

#sokkla #sokka #azula #rei #gladiator #any takes are valid I suppose #but #left-most is probably just them going to bed - their hair would be messier otherwise #top-most is a science discussion between the three cleverest people #though Azula is happy to sit back and watch the other two discuss science #makes her very happy #right-most is just my trolling need for Azula groping Sokka's arm muscles #he is so proud and thriving in the attention #pair of dorks I swear #bottom-most is hairdresser Sokka being his lovely self #while Azula tells him about whatever stuff she has to do that day #or so #yes this is what sustains me #when all else fails I come back to these two and they fuel me all over again #<3 <3 <3

[paradoxakumu]

One thing I absolutely adore about ShuTaba is the parallel of Ren and Futaba with Sojiro and Wakaba.

"LET ME EXPLAIN!"

When Yusuke asked Sojiro why he took Ren in, Sojiro stated that he took him in because he reminded him of himself when he was younger.

Not just that, but in Sojiro's last rank in his confidant, he wonders if Futaba will be someone's wife in the future AND states that he's sure that Futaba will grow up to be a fine woman someday since she's Wakaba's daughter.

bro the moment Ive noticed this years ago I fucking squealed so hard that it felt like i was a zubat using supersonic

#persona 5 #ren amamiya #akira kurusu #futaba sakura #shutaba #sojiro sakura #wakaba isshiki #Yes I come back here just to post this cute detail #I can't help it #even when I don't talk about this ship that often #I still love these two dorks together so fucking much

[gofancyninjaworld]

Genos suspiciously eyeballing yet another bit of weirdness Saitama claims is food yet unwilling to not help will never not be funny to me.

#OPM #official art #Saitama #Genos #yes eat up: maybe the secret to strength is found in the flesh of a poisonous transformed monster mushroom #those two dorks #why are they such fools?

[rupphiremoyo]

Yaz would blow Sammy a kiss and in response Sammy would gasp dramatically and stumble backwards like she had been shot

#listen these two are stupid in love and are not afraid to show it #what's that? sammy laughed at a dumb joke yaz just told her? #you better believe yaz is clutching her heart and pretending that she's about to faint #they both reach for the last snack at the same time? #these dorks are acting as if the sun moon and stars had aligned #i just know that these girls would be endlessly endeared by each other's theatrics #yes this is inspired by the 'sammy! i'll miss you' 'not if i miss you first' scene #you can pry this headcanon from my cold dead hands #yasammy #yaz x sammy #yasmina fadoula #sammy gutierrez #jwcc #camp cretaceous

[golden--doodler]

Geneuary Day Two: Family/Alternate Universe

I immediately came up with the idea to interpret this prompt by drawing Gene and Louise as Phineas and Ferb, mainly because that was one of my absolute favorite shows as a kid (and it still is). And I got this idea partially to celebrate the fact that the show is officially coming back with new episodes 🥳

#geneuary2024 #i actually really like how gene’s shoes came out i should try drawing shoes more often #yes i drew a random blanket on him so i wouldn’t have to draw his other hand pffffffft #i like to think these two are being dorks and hanging out and playing dress up!! and somehow gene convinced louise to put her hair up #i just couldn’t miss out on the opportunity to draw her in cute lil’ braids #why is she wearing a different hat?? no idea it just came out like that

[yonemurishiroku]

Nico’s the one to confess first and Will’s the one to do the asking out. Will not elaborate.

#nico di angelo #yone rambling #will solace #solangelo #like i mean nico’s finally courage enough to confess #and will has been pining over him for so long now that his crush finally reciprocates he just vibrates with joy #so he practically steals the conversation from nico and straight up asks him out on the spot #will your simp-ness is showing #nico: uhm—i think—no i know. i like you— #will: YES I LIKE YOU TOO PLEASE GO OUT WITH ME #this two dorks smh #yone headcanon #solangelo headcanon #pjo #hoo #toa #percy jackson and the olympians

[mrsmiroir]

listen. i think that kaz and jesper have the potential for a great friendship. hell, they’re straight up brothers, of course they could easily become best friends! but their friendship really truly begins the second jesper walks out of the slat and leaves the dregs.

#get that man OUT of there !!!!!! #free him !!!!! #only once the playing field has been leveled can the two actually have a normal relationship #or as normal as they get #the thing with kanej is that both recognize the power dynamics and know the limits #and inej doesn’t take any shit from him #kazper… kaz actively uses his power over jesper to keep him close by #(just say he’s ur friend u DORK) #(​and probably manipulates his feelings for him too) #and jesper just takes it #they have a deeply unhealthy friendship and nobody rlly wants to acknowledge that #like yes they’re literally brothers but also that is. so toxic. #so like. brothers. #soc #six of crows duology #six of crows #crooked kingdom #jesper fahey #kaz brekker #kazper #i guess ? not really #grishaverse