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lani-heart · 23 days

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|| series masterlist || next // previously

parings -> ( eventually ) enhypen x reader genre -> soulmate au, fantasy au, angst warnings -> angst word count -> 2.6k

abstract -> sometimes you need to be selfish to feel satisfied...

y/n's perspective

I feel guilty… Heeseung approached me saying Jay planned on rejecting me but didn't want me to get hurt. It was strange to know that he was there on Jay's behalf to reject him.

I knew he was telling the truth but I swear there was more to what he was saying.

He wasn’t telling me a few things and I knew he was withdrawing details I should’ve known. He’s done it before…

“Stop thinking too much” I heard Sunghoon whine. I smiled as I simply muttered ‘I can’t’ he nodded understanding but grinned.

“Then think of how handsome I am!” he said, making me laugh but we heard a scoff coming from Sunoo. “Hey! I’m older than you, show me respect” Sunoo only shrugged.

“How delusional are you to feed our soulmate lies?” he taunted and the two started bickering. It was funny to see but also nice that they were still friends…

“y/n!” I heard as I saw Taki. “EJ and K need to look over some documents with you about homecoming!” he said and I nodded as I packed up my stuff to start going.

“Ah, you’re leaving us already!” Jungwon complained. “Well if you didn’t quit stuco I would still be working with you,” I said and groaned.

“I barely see you anyway” Sunghoon added and I sighed.

“Well, a lot of work has been coming on. You guys also need to start practicing again for the next match” I said and they scoffed… except Sunghoon.

“Try to get along… before me, you guys were actually friends”

jay's perspective

Practices weren’t like they were. It's now awkward and uncomfortable. I wouldn’t be surprised if they quit our football team too.

I was pulled from my thoughts when I was knocked down by Niki. “Come on Jay! Before Niki never could’ve knocked you down!” Sunghoon said and he was right.

“It’s probably the rejection,” Sunoo said and I sighed. It felt horrible, my body was constantly drained. “Sooha!” Jake yelled and she grinned as she came over to us.

Was he still blind?

“It's been a while since I’ve been at your practice!” she said. “It's been a while since I’ve seen you three!” Sooha said to Jungwon, Sunoo, and Niki.

“They’ve been busy with the little witch–” Jake got cut off by Jungwon throwing the football at his head. “She has a name!” Sunoo said and Jake didn’t say anything for once.

“She’s been avoiding me,” she confessed. I noticed Heeseung looked at her with a sad expression. I wonder why he was so eager to hurt himself… torturing himself when he could just have y/n.

She talks to him… works with him… listens to him and yet he rejects her? I don’t understand how that could make sense.

“Is she doing well?” she asked Sunghoon and he nodded. “She’s doing well. I’m just worried about how much she’s working” he confessed.

“She’s been working too much… I'm worried she’ll get sick” Niki said while Jungwon and Sunoo stayed quiet.

“Well is she eating well?” Sooha asked and he sighed. “She’s been skipping lunch often because of homecoming,” Sunghoon said and I felt guilty.

Was she skipping meals?

'She rejected you, she’s not your responsibility'

Heeseung… sometimes you should just shut up.

We were still practicing when we saw EJ and y/n.

“Looks like you guys are training hard~” EJ taunted and she smiled at her accepted soulmates. She ignored me, Heeseung, and Jake. Heeseung looked at her for a second before snapping out of it and going towards Sooha… was she a distraction for him?

He then glared at me and I looked away… I then looked at Jake, who looked sad?

“Are you okay?” I asked and he nodded. “I don’t like that she sees me like a monster… or that Heeseung thinks it's deserved, '' he said and I nodded. “But you did hurt her,” I said and he nodded.

“I can clearly see the turtle neck she’s wearing. So shut up about it, okay?” he said as he left. I needed a break.

“EJ! I need–""Sorry Sooha, but I need to go,” he said as EJ just left… even y/n looked shocked. I guess all of Riverfield was ignoring her.

“y/n… please talk–” “Sooha it isn’t any of her business,” Sunoo said as he hugged her from behind. It almost seemed like a challenge for Sooha. “ It is tough! K rejected me for her… I just wanted a chance. y/n you have to understand” she begged and the witch sighed.

“I’ll talk to him about it but Sooha give him some time. He can change his mind you know” she said and I wondered if she’d change her mind about– “What the fuck!” I yelled as I got hit by the football.

Of course, it was Heeseung… “Are you okay, Jay?” Sooha said running towards me. I looked at y/n though who also looked worried… did she still care– “Maybe we should finish practice here” Heeseung said and I scoffed.

“What is your problem?” I asked and he scoffed. “Don’t fight please” Sooha said and I looked at Heeseung who stared at me, almost challenging me…

“Immature the both of you” I heard Jungwon say.

“Just stay out of it” Sunghoon advised

“Let’s get dinner!” Niki said as he pulled y/n away from Sunoo and left… “What the hell, dude?!” I said and he scoffed. “Get over it already!” Heeseung yelled at me. “Heeseung don’t–” “Sooha this doesn’t involve you” he cut her off as he walked away.

The more he was rejecting his feelings the more resentful he was.

y/n perspective

“Has Heeseung been more… snappy recently?” I asked Sunghoon and he nodded. “Jay thinks it’s because of you…” he confessed and I thought that too.

“He thinks he likes you but is ignoring his feelings,” he said. That couldn’t be true though… he was the first to reject me.

“Don’t worry your pretty little head about it. You’re stressed enough” he said and I nodded, but It was difficult not to worry

“Jungwon, I think you need to go back to the council” I suggested and he groaned. “I know but… we're so divided it doesn’t even feel like we’re friends anymore,” he confessed and I sighed. “Don’t let me be the reason you guys aren’t friends. You guys have been by each other's side for such a long time” I said and they sighed.

“Besides… I don’t think Heeseung can handle being president any longer” I said… I was worried even though I shouldn't be. Even when me and Jay only chatted… he confessed how much Heeseung was drowning himself in work.

He hasn’t made any move to replace them… in fact, they were still in council but just refused to go back.

“I think we all need a conversation with each other”

jungwon’s perspective

We walked into the student council room.

“Yah! Quit acting like you control me!” Jay yelled at Heesueung who only stared blankly at Jay. Jake was also clearly annoyed. “And stop trying to make me feel worse about myself!” he said in retaliation, making the oldest hyung almost laugh mockingly.

“What do you want?” he said, looking at us now.

“Did your little love send you here?” he said, clearly trying to annoy me by using my nickname for her. “Yah… get to work will you. You’re behind on paperwork for y/n and she’ll be on me if you don’t finish it.” I ordered him and it must've thrown him off for a minute.

“You’re not president any–” “Yes I am. You didn’t find a replacement, you never even told the principal of the change so I am. Honestly, are you all trying to ruin my reputation?” I wanted to get them to start doing work. How far has our group fallen?

“The room is a mess!!” Sunoo screeched in horror. Papers were all out of order… in organizing files too… it's only Riverfield stuff that's been kept up to date and ordered correctly.

“Heeseung,” I said and he only looked at me… was it jealousy?

“I’m president, so listen to what I have to say. You’re my vice president unless you need to be replaced”

Everyone worked quietly.

Jay, Jake, and Heeseung were too quiet… but they didn’t protest

I was able to look over a bunch of the files that Heeseung was doing and fixed them only having to send them to y/n who would turn them in.

I was the only one doing the final touches while they organized and cleaned.

“I think we’re finished for once?” Jake said to Jay who nodded. They both looked relieved.

Heeseung however could only stare at the desk he sat by blankly…

“Is this a one-time thing?” Jay asked, almost worried that we’d answer.

“No… teachers have been angry at me for not doing my work. I have no other choice do I?” I asked and they nodded. They still had a wry smile though… I kind of missed it.

Did I miss them?

“I’m sorry” I heard as I saw Jake bow… “I lost control but I didn’t mean to hurt her,” he said, apologizing for burning her. “You should be telling her that,” Niki said and Sunoo rolled his eyes.

“She’s still scared of him,” he said and I nodded.

“Give her time…” I muttered and he nodded. He was sorry… I could see it in his eyes but I didn’t miss Heeseung scoffing.

He was almost annoyed…

“I’m not annoyed,” he said and I scoffed.

“Whatever, make sure to finish the assignment–” I was cut off by the door opening… “Oh… all of you in one room!!” Sooha said with a big grin on her face.

I kinda missed her– “What the heck, Heeseung?!” I yelled as I felt him smack my head. “You have your soulmate, she should be enough,” he said and I was confused.

“What are you implying ?” I was a bit irritated at what he said.

“No more fighting, you guys are finally getting along again!” she said and I don’t think that's what I would call it.

“How are you doing?” She asked Jay who looked at her with a fake smile. “Better” he lied.

“She’ll come around just like with Sunghoon and Jake can too—“ “No way is he allowed near her” I cut her off and they all looked at me.

“I didn’t mean—“ “You didn’t feel an ounce of guilt… you didn’t care as long as you had Sooha’s attention,” Heeseung said, shocking everyone.

“That’s not true! I do—“ “The day you burned her. You didn’t care… now that she treats you like the monster you are is when you felt guilt,” he said and I could see the pain flash in his eyes.

He hated being called a monster… he left the room and I could tell he was hurt.

“Heeseung! Why would you do that to him?! He deserved a second—“ “Sooha does he? If K burned your neck raw rejecting you?! Leaving you in fear of every vampire around you while barely even leaving your, studying, or even eating?! None of you saw how she was when it happened… it’s stupid is everyone losing their mind?!” he yelled.

“I think you’re the one losing your mind,” I said and he scoffed “You shouldn’t be thinking things like—“ “Don’t tell me what to do. I don’t like Sooha romantically. I never did… I love y/n and you’re just projecting to everyone” I said and he scoffed.

“Get a grip Heeseung”

y/n’s perspective

Jungwon came to me with filled-out reports. For once since the beginning of the semester, Declis Academy Council was finished with the reports for the rest of the week.

“How’d it go?” I asked and he sighed frustrated. “They're all at odds and Heeseung is acting crazy…” he muttered as he buried himself into the crook of my neck. He wrapped himself around me… vampires weren't warm, they were cold so it was nice on days that were a little warmer.

I heard a knock on the door pulling me away from my thoughts and Jungwon stood up straight. “Jay?” he said as I saw him with… a lunch bag.

“Can we talk?” he asked and I looked at Jungwon who only stared indifferently at him. “You can stay if you want Jungwon, but I'm not gonna hurt her,” he said and the boy sighed. He kissed my forehead and smiled at me.

“I’ll be around. If you need me, text me okay?” he said and I nodded as he left me alone with Jay. I wasn’t scared of him… just weary around vampires ever since Jake. “I brought you food. The boys said how you haven't been eating because of how busy you were… so I assumed you haven't had dinner yet?” he asked and I smiled softly. “Thank you… I actually had to skip lunch today so I'm really hungry” I confessed.

“You shouldn’t be skipping meals” he scolded and I chuckled. “I know… but I have a lot of people relying on me, '' I said and he nodded. “Which means you can’t jeopardize your health that way” he scolded and I sighed.

“Why do you care? Heeseung told me about you rejecting–" "He wasn’t supposed to get involved…” he cut me off looking confused. “Heeseung… he pulled me aside saying you wanted to reject me and that you wanted me to do it. Was that not what you wanted? You like Sooha don’t you?” I asked, confused, about what he wanted.

“I was thinking about what I would do… since Jungwon found out you're our soulmate I contemplated. I wanted to be friends… to get close and I don't know okay? I just knew I had to be involved with you... I didn't want you to shut me out. But Heeseung got involved when it didn't involve him, '' he explained.

“The thing is Jay… I can’t be your second option–” “I know… which is why none of this is fair to you. I clearly have feelings for Sooha… but I can’t help but worry about you even before the bond formed” he confessed and I nod.

“So what now?” I asked and he sighed. “I can never be with Sooha. She’s not mine… and I messed up horribly with you. I’m not asking for forgiveness or to be your lover. I just… want you to be happy” he said and tried walking away. I didn’t know what came over me but I grabbed his wrist.

“Jay… tell me what you want” I demanded and he smiled a soft sad smile. “Nothing–” I don’t normally use magic… and I was sorry for using it on a soulmate but I needed to know.

“I want to be one of the people by your side,” he said and he looked at me confused. “What just happened?” he asked as I let go of his wrist which he took the opportunity to suspect.

“You’re overthinking things… but your inner desires sometimes are buried so deep you don’t know what you want” I explained and he nodded. “So I'm sorry… I used magic on you” I said and he shook his head. “It didn’t hurt me… Jake didn’t do as much for you in that department” he said and I sighed.

“I do want to be by your side… I don’t know if I want to be a lover, a friend. Anything, maybe?” he said and I chuckled.

“Then be selfish” I said and he laughed.

“Can I be by your side?”

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please don't be a silent reader !! reblog, comment, and like <3

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eunnieboo · 7 months

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IYHM ask replies!!

also, a current snapshot of my mind:

💛 burrito-puppy asked:

Love to see the progress and art you made along the years! Can’t wait for the release 💕💕💕

thank you so much! 💞💞💞 i can't believe it's less than a week away... i can count the number of days left on one hand! AHHHH

💛 Anonymous asked:

Listen. The way that I too am freaking out! Gah. So excited. Can't wait.

THANK YOU!! every day i wake up and i lose my mind LMAO... the only time i'm calm is when i'm distracted, so i can forget it's actually happening haha!

💛 mickiee-art asked:

Where have you been my entire life?? I love your work so much! So excited for your graphic novel release! 💕🫶🏼

thank you so much omg!! i'm so glad! 🥺💖

💛 tabsters asked:

YOO DUDE ONE OF THE PROTAGONISTS OF YOUR SAPPHIC GRAPHIC NOVEL IS VIETNAMESE??? I'M VIETNAMESE AND BISEXUAL AND YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HAPPY THIS MAKES ME HSAKSHKAHSKAHSKAHSAKJ

AHHHHH i'm so thrilled to hear that!!! i live for these messages HFDSKDJHSK HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY

💛 Anonymous asked:

I just found your art today and after scrolling through your stuff I went and pre-ordered your book. I'm so excited!!

oh you are too kind!! ;_; thank you so much <3

💛 nimona-antifa asked:

WAITTT THE BLACK HAIRED CHARACTER IN IF YOU'LL HAVE ME IS A BUTCH LESBIAN? I THOUGHT IT WAS A DUDE OMG THEY'RE BOTH SO PRETTYYYYY FBFBDGD I'M GAY 💗💗💗 I seriously love your art its always so wholesome

HAHA OMG I LOVE THIS 😂 thank you!!! BUTCH LESBIANS FOREVER AND ALWAYS 💕💕

💛 albedosleftb0otych33k asked:

I don't know how but I only just found out about your graphic novel and OML! I WILL BUY IT THE SECOND IT COMES OUT! Anyways, I love your art and just wanted to tell you ( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ

omg thank you so much!! you are the sweetest! ( *´ω`*)♡

💛 jeweljupiter asked:

I just wanted to say seeing your art of Momo and PG makes me feel seen and heard I love the poc representation I’m a plus size dark skin nerdy black girl and seeing more women who look like me finding love gives me hope and makes me happy

when i tell you this means everything to me... it means everything to me. thank you forever T_T ❤️

i've been so focused on IYHM for the past couple months... now that the pub date is so close, i'm full of giddy anticipation and terrible dread. so thank you everyone for the love and well wishes! it's really getting me through it.

also, i wasn't sure how to announce this so i wanted to mention it while i'm here: Waterstones now has a special sprayed edge edition of IYHM! i got my copy a little while back and it's really gorgeous. if you like paperbacks i think the color is a lovely touch!

and as another reminder, i'll be having an in-person launch event next tuesday with Brick & Mortar Books in Redmond, WA! truthfully i'm torn between my desire to interact with people and my embarrassment at being seen in public, so please feel free to spare yourselves lmao 😭 i wasn't sure i'd do an event at all but i decided to try at least once before deciding if it's for me. so we'll see how it goes!

whew. the 17th is coming up so fast but i still have so many little tasks to do. the last time i talked about my busy schedule on here, someone sent me a message that said "you deserve a spa day," and i think about it all the time. maybe someday, anon. maybe someday...

#iyhm #anon #replies #jeweljupiter #albedosleftb0otych33k #nimona-antifa #tabsters #mickiee-art #burrito-puppy

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yokiidokii · 1 year

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How would the gang react to a reader who constantly says sorry ? like for every stupid thing at the end of a sentence due to being Bullied majority of their life . So now I their adulthood it’s just kinda automatic “oop I’m sorry” even when it’s not necessary

My smile is immeasurable- I do this so often you have no idea. I have absolutely been worried about not knowing if I was gonna do the request just right. This is not one of those times. I did have a surprising amount of trouble with it though? Despite it being something I myself do constantly lmao, ah well I hope I did it justice!

Also hi! I was in college so this is so very late and I’m so sorry about that <3 My prof mentally threw me around like a rag doll and I came out with my brain fried.

Warnings: I don't think any? Maybe some general allusions to anxiety just because of the prompt itself? Andre mentions weed but uh- nothing else! Relatively safe<3

Reagan

I feel like she understands, I could see her thinking of it more in a like, a logical sense? Not like she doesn’t understand the more emotional side of it- she’s got her own issues. But in the like “Oh, usually when people do this it means they are scared of what people think and don’t like conflict. I’ll keep that in mind.”

She gets it, and I want to be absolutely clear- I cannot see her being one of those people saying “It’s fine.” Because like, for her it doesn’t feel like it ever really is? But she will be the person to help you feel like, it’s okay that you said it but know that you do not have to. You didn’t do anything wrong.

If you want to tell her the reason why you do this, apologizing and explaining she will feel for you. I mean we’ve seen her school experience, we had one friend and a buncha kids who were way older than you and treated her like shit. Also her father, very much her father.

She won't ever press you or act like you aren't trying harder to get better but she'll make sure in her own way that you know it's all gonna be okay one day.

One day you won't have to think about the past and everything will be okay <3

Andre

Andre may or may not have told you about his experiences with his family and how they really affected him.

You have probably also- at least once maybe seen him without drugs and how that can make him.

Long story short he is in no position to judge even if he for some reason wanted to.

Would offer you some weed

He means well and will not pressure you if you say no, though he will totally ask “Are you suuuureee?” because he cannot stress enough the wonders of medical marijuana

Whether or not you take it is up to you, but he will absolutely let you chill either in his office if you're at work or at his house- would come to your house to make sure your comfy if you need it<3

He is a loving man with lots of his own experience in this kind of regard and he will help you no matter what!

He is more than the drug guy though please literally let him be known for more than that he deserves it so any tips he's used to help himself out he will give to you.

A very caring man with his own issues and lots of advice and love to give if you'll have it~

Brett

Oh honey, this man? This man understands.

Brett will apologize after you do because both of you think that is is somehow both of your faults.

Though he will undoubtedly let you know in every way he possibly can that it is not your fault in any way and that he loves you.

He would absolutely mention therapy- it helps him! It might help you?

He would absolutely be holding your hand anyway and if you do apologize while it happens, he’ll squeeze it in his own and shoot you a quick “No need to be!” before continuing the conversation. He doesn’t wanna spend the whole time acknowledging it just in case putting too much attention on it in the open would embarrass you or make you feel worse.

But he will be there for you, and he will be listing off things that he’s learned to help him when he can’t stop doing it either.

Myc

I can see Myc start by just being a little bit sarcastic. Like he isn’t entirely sure why you do it just yet, but he doesn’t want you to be saying it and thinking that you did something wrong.

He gives those like “Oh yeah? You’re sorry?” and you know that if he had actual eyes, he would be giving you a look of ‘You really wanna do this rn?’.

And he will probably continue to do so even after he knows why.

He isn’t going to treat you differently per se, at least- he acts like he isn’t going to…

But you feel the tentacle that was already wormed around your waist squeeze just a little tighter before you end your sentence to remind you that you didn’t do anything, and you don’t need to apologize.

I mean he gets it, he got bullied. He ended with a different outcome for himself, but he still understands. It sucks, and even if you don’t want to think about it or you don’t want to constantly feel like life is repeating itself over and over again but sometimes it’s just going to feel that way even if it isn’t.

Though Myc will be there to help you understand and work through all the woes of getting to inside your own head.

Gigi

She would raise her brow at it at first.

Hit you with that “Honey you didn’t do anything wrong.” and make sure you know that it’s all okay.

Is teaching you how she ignores her haters constantly, if you say anything about it not being on the same level and you start apologizing again, she is going to lovingly slap you in the face with her words (She would not lay a hand on you ever-)

Comparing yourself gets a “tsk tsk” from her and a long list of all the parts about you she thinks are beyond stellar.

Gigi would be very honest -like the most honest maybe- about whether or not you actually have anything to be sorry about.

If you do, she’ll accept your apology but try to figure out a way to do it in a way that won’t encourage you to do it when you don’t actually have to.

And when you don’t, she places a hand on her hip and gives you a look, eyebrow raised just lightly in a ‘really?’ sorry of fashion.

She’s not questioning it; she knows it happened. But she’s asking if you really wanna do it, you know that she will no doubt spend her time talking your ear off about not doing this again.

She does it with the upmost amount of love I promise- but like,,

Do you dare question her? I wouldn't

Glenn

Okay. I don’t want to say Glenn doesn’t get it at first, but out of all of the people in the gang it feels right to say he might take the longest to adjust and learn how to handle it.

But just because he might not get it at first doesn’t mean he’s rude!!

It’s more of a “What? Why are you saying you're sorry? You didn’t do anything?” Kinda confused-

He’s a confused ol man, forgive him.

Though, he would understand the bullying thing like 100%

He’s no stranger to rude comments or being talked to as if he has no feelings, typical bully behavior even if he wouldn’t talk about it or call them bullies, just,,, assholes?

That and the feelings that come from thinking about those comments is something he understands, and something that he can try and a headspace he will gladly try to help you out of.

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plutoccult · 6 months

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HAIKYUU X THE OFFICE AU — EPISODE TWO: LUNCHTIME VOLLEYBALL MATCH

pairing: sugawara koushi x female reader

description: ukai’s idea to hold a volleyball match with the warehouse staff during lunch proves to be a bad one, but it sure is entertaining for you to watch from the sidelines. well, as long as your fiancé doesn’t ruin the fun for you.

word count: 5.5k

also available to read on my ao3 here

author’s note: hello!!! i’ve been fueled to write the continuation of this au. this time around, it’ll be inspired by the basketball episode, but since haikyuu is all about volleyball… you know what i had to do. i would have waited to do that one company-wide volleyball match episode later on, but who says i can’t do that later anyway? it’s haikyuu, there is NEVER enough volleyball. besides, that’ll give me the opportunity to introduce other haikyuu characters when the time is right. i’m still trying to get my groove when it comes to writing this au, but i think i’m starting to get there. i hope this will be equally as entertaining, and i also hope everyone enjoys it! also, stream livelock by xdinary heroes fr 😮‍💨

ever since filming for the documentary began, ukai had been more… eccentric than usual. everyone knew it was to play up for the cameras, but god, it was annoying. the employees of japan pulp and paper thought they had seen it all when it came to their chaotic boss, but that was proven to be false when ukai burst into the office randomly dressed in sports gear with a wilson volleyball pressed to his hip.

“guys, we’re doing a thing.” ukai announced, much to the confusion of his employees.

“is this the office olympics again?” tanaka questioned. the office olympics was an idea ukai attempted many years ago, and let’s just say it didn’t end well whatsoever.

“no, tanaka, it is not.” he scoffed. “i don’t need corporate threatening to fire me… again.”

“then why are you dressed like an athlete past his prime, but he refuses to let go, so he ends up losing his wife and kids?” tsukishima asked nonchalantly despite completely flaming ukai to bits.

“that kinda sounds like tom brady.” hinata said.

“tom brady was a football player, idiot.” kageyama rolled his eyes, sparking a bickering matching between him and hinata, which was always a classic occurrence in the office since the day they were hired.

“everybody shut up! i’m holding a volleyball match with the warehouse guys during lunch!” ukai yelled over his employees, followed by complete silence. not a peep came out of them, not even a cricket. “come on, why aren’t any of you excited?”

“um… did hr approve of this?” you speak up and ask. it was clear ukai didn’t see how horrible of an idea this was.

“shockingly, specs approved.” he replied. a miracle, really, but ukai claimed it would be a “good way” to “bond” with everybody.

“and he approved of it… with the warehouse guys?” you gulp.

“yes, y/n, why are you so—” ukai cut off his sentence when he realized why you were questioning him with such worry. “oh…”

the reason why holding a match with the warehouse guys worried you was because your fiancé ryo was one of them. it was almost like an unspoken common fact that he was a total jerk who didn’t deserve you. while suga’s fondness towards you wasn’t very known to the office, everyone could at least see that you shouldn’t be with ryo. only tell will tell how this dreaded volleyball match will end up. it was everybody’s funeral, really.

•••

“so, i got the idea to hold a volleyball match because my grandfather—who is a volleyball legend, by the way—suggested it would be a great idea to bring everybody together, so i got him to help me set up some stuff outside the office building.” ukai said to the camera crew while he sat at his desk, his typical interviewing spot. “what i forgot to put into consideration was y/n’s hotheaded fiancé who works in the warehouse downstairs, but who doesn’t love a little chaos, am i right? well, no, not right. it’s just gonna be a friendly game of volleyball. totally friendly.”

•••

while suga sat at his desk with nothing to do, he did what he always did and caught a look at you to see what you were doing in hopes to share at least a moment with you. he always reached for those little moments, even if you seemed to see him as just a friend. when he looked over at your desk, he saw you were staring at your computer, seemingly bored out of your mind, which you most definitely were at this time when there were dry spots in the work day.

suga quietly stood up and went to the break room for a cup of coffee, hoping you’d notice the sound of his footsteps and follow him. there was nobody around, but that soon changed when you followed suit minutes later just as he hoped you would.

“hey, suga.” you say, reaching for the cabinet to grab a mug.

“oh, hey, y/n.” he said, trying to act cool while he waited for his coffee to brew.

“you gonna play in the match later?” you ask. part of you was worried about what would happen with ryo, but at the same time you wanted to root for suga because he was your best friend.

“well, after ukai begged me…” cue war-like flashbacks to ukai begging suga over and over to participate, which included over-dramatically sobbing while on his knees. “unfortunately, yeah.”

“i thought you used to play volleyball in high school? setter, right?” you questioned.

“how did—” suga was shocked but also adorably amazed that you remembered such a thing. “how did you remember that?”

“guess it just stuck with me, i don’t know.” you shrugged. quite a poor lie on your end, really. you would always try your best to remember everything correct out of fear of making a mistake. even if there wasn’t someone there to crucify you for it, you always made sure to get the job done anyway. although you knew suga wouldn’t do such a thing to you, you didn’t want to mess up the only good thing you had in your life.

“i was vice captain too, actually.” he chuckled before taking a sip of his fresh coffee.

“aw, i knew there was something i was forgetting!” you pouted, doing what you knew best and making yourself feel bad for forgetting despite how innocent it was. “i’m sorry!”

suga couldn’t see what you needed to be sorry for, so he always reassured you knowing you truly needed it. “what? it’s okay, really. i’m glad you at least remembered i played volleyball in the first place.”

“you’re serious?” you asked, almost like it was hard to believe him.

“of course.” he said with that smile that always made you feel better, bringing back your light. “why wouldn’t i be?”

“i don’t know.” you sigh for a moment before taking your turn with the coffee maker. you hated yourself for feeling this way all the time. you needed to be bejeweled, but you were always held back by a ball and chain in the form of your fiancé.

“well, if anything, i hope i remember how to play properly, so don’t worry.” suga said to put you at ease.

“why, you rusty?” you question him.

“perhaps.” he jokingly shrugged.

“guess i’ll have to be the judge of that. might whip up some popcorn, who knows?” you tease. “need some entertainment better than the youtube videos i watch during my usual lunch.”

“well, i guess i’ll have to put on a real show for you.” suga smirked.

“i’ll keep that in mind, sugawara.”

•••

while the employees were getting ready to head downstairs for the match, suga was called in for a quick interview with the documentary crew before the inevitable chaos went down. he didn’t find it to be suspicious as everyone was asked questions too, but there was an inkling in his gut that the crew had an ulterior motive questioning him.

“thoughts on playing in the match?”

“ah, i don’t know. i’m just here for some fun, not competition. i’m not trying to take it that seriously. it’s not high school anymore, it’s just a game.” suga said in response to the question, then immediately cringed at his own answer. “oof, i sound like tsukishima. yikes.”

“you’re not worried about ryo?” whoop, there it is. he knew they were onto him when it came to you. suga should’ve known to stop his pining stares while all those cameras were on all of you over eight hours a day.

“huh?” he furrowed his eyebrows before rolling his eyes when the documentary crew gave him a look in hopes he’d spill. “oh, don’t look at me like that. i’m outta here.”

•••

everyone followed ukai to the parking lot to see a volleyball net smack dab in the middle of the sea of cars. his grandfather came while everyone was working to put it all together, and he seemed to have put it in the worst spot possible.

“this… is what you’ve set up?” you question ukai.

with the way the net was set up, it was prime real estate for a ball to fly in the wrong direction and break someone’s window. it was an overpriced repair bill just begging to happen, and none of you got paid enough to throw around money so easily.

“um, hello, my grandfather gave me the hookup.” he rolled his eyes. “amateurs.”

“but it’s outside.” you say, hoping ukai would get the point, but of course, he doesn’t.

“so?”

“in the middle of the parking lot.” you add.

“there’s enough wiggle room, what’s the problem?” ukai shrugged. god, he was clueless.

“to add onto what y/n is saying, some—if not all—of us would like our windows to be intact by the end of the day.” tsukishima said before walking away from the group, leaving ukai unaware of his intentions.

“hey, tsukishima, where are you going?” he called out.

“moving my car?” tsukishima replied with a heap of sass. “god, i don’t get paid enough for this shit.”

“you better come back!” ukai yelled, his words falling on deaf ears. “i need a tall bitch like you for blocking!”

“i’m gonna move my car too…” yamaguchi said sheepishly then followed tsukishima to do the same as him.

in a shocking event, everyone agreed with tsukishima for once and didn’t think he was being hyper-negative for no reason. one by one, almost everyone went to move their cars. some stayed behind, like you, tanaka, and a few others, but ukai began to feel discouraged and worried that his dream match wouldn’t occur.

“suga! everyone! come on!” he whined, hoping they’d come back.

“boss, sir, i can assure you that i can handle balls better than tsukishima.” tanaka said with utmost confidence, thinking his words would make ukai feel better. it only ended up making you resist the urge to laugh, and you had to quickly collect yourself before you did the wrong thing.

“but…” ukai pouted.

“don’t worry, everyone’s coming back, ukai.” you assure him, seeing tsukishima and yamaguchi start to walk back to the group, then daichi and nishinoya, and so forth.

seeing what everyone was doing, your fiancé ryo wanted to hop on the bandwagon, but was a little too “preoccupied” to do so. “babe, can you move the car? i’m in the middle of stretching here and i need to be in top shape for the match.”

“uh, yeah, sure…”

•••

“it’s an unofficial volleyball match in the middle of an office parking lot, not the olympics. what do you need to be in top shape for?” you rant before doing the same thing suga did in his interview earlier. “wow, i sound like tsukki, don’t i?”

“suga said something similar earlier.” a crew member said, mainly to hopefully stir the pot.

“what, did he say something pessimistic like him too?” you question. the crew nodded in response.

“huh. interesting.”

•••

once the whole parking lot ordeal was over with, it was finally time to put this game together. ukai began yelling around like he was some sort of professional coach, which raised questions.

“alright! let’s get into positions everyone!” he hollered. “i need a setter, middle blocker, wing spikers—”

“woah, woah, woah. what position are you gonna play?” daichi interrupted him with the question that was on quite literally everyone’s minds.

“you guys thought i was playing?” ukai questioned as if it were some sort of massive shock.

“uh… yeah?” daichi furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. “why else are you dressed like that?”

“is this not what volleyball coaches wear?” ukai asked. what’s ironic about ukai’s look was that he was dressed like a volleyball player, not a coach. whatever sporting goods store employee told him that was a good look on him would remain a mystery, unfortunately.

“they probably wear tracksuits or something, i don’t know.” nishinoya shrugged.

“hm, i oughta look into those.”

“so, who’s playing what?” yamaguchi spoke up, considering they were wasting precious company time. “we need a starting lineup and the warehouse guys are scaring me…”

“well, i can be setter and tsukishima can be middle blocker.” suga volunteered, his words met with an eye roll from tsukishima.

“oh, boy, i wonder why that is.” he scoffed.

“aren’t you a tall bitch who can block?” suga crossed his arms.

“you doubt me, sugawara?” tsukishima questioned him.

“maybe.” he replied, resisting the urge to smirk.

“i’m blocking the hell out of those warehouse guys.” tsukishima said with determination as he rolled up his sleeves. it was manipulation at its finest, and suga wasn’t ashamed of using it for today. unfortunately, not everyone was happy with the results.

“aw, i wanted to be middle blocker.” hinata pouted, having not given the chance to speak up before.

“eh, maybe later, hinata.” suga said, although the chances were quite slim.

“pft, as if you’d let shorty ever be middle blocker.” kageyama snickered.

“i’m not short, i’m fun sized!” hinata exclaimed.

“who even says that anymore?!”

“shut up, you—”

hinata and kageyama then did what they do best, aka start arguing like a married couple out of nowhere. suga and daichi had to break the two up, and while daichi struggled with kageyama, asahi came to his rescue and threw him over his shoulder effortlessly. everyone watched asahi with amazement, including you, but he was quite oblivious to the looks of awe.

“anyways. who’s got ideas?”

everybody was too busy standing there shell shocked until you spoke up with an idea of your own, one that made perfect sense in your eyes. “well, i think daichi should be captain of the office team. he’s really good at handling chaos.”

“you think so, y/n?” daichi asked, touched that you thought so highly of him.

“well, you just handled husband and wife over there. plus, if you can handle those knuckleheads too,” you say, pointing to tanaka and nishinoya. “then yeah, i definitely think so.”

“we are NOT knuckleheads—”

“quiet, you two.” kiyoko cut them off.

“yes, kiyoko.” tanaka and nishinoya say in unison. it was just too easy.

the idea of daichi being captain was in agreement with all of the office employees, but there was still more to figure out before everyone could start playing. “well, if i’m captain, then i think i should have a say in who’s doing what.”

“actually, that’s my job, daichi.” ukai tried to say before he was shut down by asahi, who spoke in a low tone.

“daichi should decide.”

“okayyesjustdon’tkillme.” ukai said quickly.

asahi turned his head and stared into the camera confused.

•••

“he’s always gonna be scared of me, isn’t he?” asahi said with a pout then let out a sigh. “even yachi doesn’t scream in terror when i walk into a room anymore…”

•••

after plenty of debating, the office workers had finally put together their team. daichi as captain and right-wing spiker, suga as setter, tsukishima as middle blocker, tanaka as left-wing spiker, nishinoya as libero, and then asahi as the team’s ace. it had all been so carefully crafted, so they hoped it would be worth it in the end. they all even considered going out for a drink after work if they won too, but everyone was getting too ahead of themselves. they had a match to win.

both teams lined up together on opposite ends, ukai instructing his employees to stand up straight and give their best intimidating look, but they weren’t all that up for it. thankfully for tsukishima and asahi, that was their usual resting face anyway.

kiyoko stood in the middle of the court, taking on the role of scorekeeper for this little event. she did the same during the controversial office olympics, so it was no question of whether she’d do it again today. besides, she loved the power she held right now.

“alright, captains in the middle of the court, please!” kiyoko called out. daichi took a step forward while ryo, the captain for the warehouse team, did the same. “the match will be best two out of three. each captain will pick a side of the coin and whichever side it lands on gets to serve first.”

“i call heads!” ryo claimed over-excitedly, as if the coin toss were the real competition.

“tails, please.” daichi said calmly.

kiyoko grinned happily as she flipped the coin, landing in daichi’a favor, much to her amusement. “it’s tails. daichi, your team will serve first.”

“asahi, it’s your time to shine.” daichi pointed to asahi.

“on it!” he replied, gripping the ball in his hands as he prepared for his first serve.

“alright, guys, let’s go! show me what you’re made of!” ukai yelled from the sidelines as he clapped his hands together, taking on this newfound role as coach seriously, even if no one cared for what he had to say.

ignoring ukai, asahi tossed the ball into the air and performed a flawless ace serve, proving his title as ace was well deserved. everyone in the parking lot was at a lot for words over how effortlessly he pulled that off, especially ukai whose jaw could practically reach the floor.

•••

“i would just like to put on the record that i have never once doubted asahi.” ukai said with utmost confidence, despite the documentary crew having many doubts. “never scared of the guy. never ever. i love that man. he’s my favorite employee, actually.”

•••

the match went back and forth, with your fiancé carrying the warehouse team on his back as they weren’t all that enthused to be on the same team as him. you stood on the sidelines with ukai, taking over as temporary scorekeeper while kiyoko and yachi went into the office building for snacks and waters from the vending machines.

“we’re back!” yachi beamed, skipping towards you while kiyoko held a stack of two boxes; one with drinks and the other with snacks.

“sorry it took so long.” kiyoko said as she set the boxes down. “hopefully you had no trouble?”

“there was a little argument over whether the ball was out or not, but otherwise, it was fine.” you shrugged. in the end, you decided no one got a point, which while controversial, was ultimately the right move.

“good. yachi and i got a bunch of bags of popcorn from the vending machine. want some?” kiyoko asked.

“ooh!” you gasp, hoping they had your favorite. “is it the sweet corn kind?”

“no, they ran out because yamaguchi is always eating them all.” yachi giggled while yamaguchi blushed out of embarrassment.

“really, dude?” you pouted. first your yogurt, now this? the guy was secretly a menace, no matter how innocent he looked.

“i’m sorry…” he looked down.

“ah, it’s fine.” you sigh. “i’ll just take whatever you got. thanks, you two.”

as you start chowing down on a bag a popcorn, your attention is back on the match just in time to watch suga set the ball to tsukishima, who in turn grants the office team another point effortlessly. tsukishima merely shrugged after spiking the ball, but everyone on the office side, including you, cheered the small victory. you particularly yelled out suga’s name and gave him a thumbs up for setting the ball so nicely, which caught the attention of your fiancé, and he sure wasn’t pleased.

kiyoko raised an eyebrow over your cheers, not trying to stir the pot, but couldn’t help but be curious over where your loyalties lie. “so, which team are you rooting for? i thought you’d be a little biased towards ryo, but…”

“huh?” you question. “oh, i’m not really rooting for anyone in particular…”

“oh, okay…”

oof. you’re such a bad liar.

now it was ryo’s turn to serve. still fuming from giving your attention to suga, he served the ball with excessive force. thankfully for your team, nishinoya saved the ball, impressing everyone. now that you thought about it, your coworkers seemed to be a little too good at volleyball to just be casual players.

when the ball came back to the office side, tanaka spiked it and scored. he then proceeded to act like a maniac by ripping his shirt off and obnoxiously waving it around, undoubtedly in hopes to woo kiyoko.

“are you falling head over heels yet, kiyoko?” you nudge and tease her, but she wasn’t going to falter.

“blegh. disgusting.” she fake gagged. despite her words, kiyoko couldn’t help but wonder since when tanaka was so ripped.

•••

“i was NOT blushing. tanaka is gross. and annoying. and stupid. and… oh no.” kiyoko ran out of the room without another word, ashamed of her newfound attraction.

•••

after the end of a difficult first set, the office team was in the lead. before continuing onto the second set, everyone took a little water break as they needed to hydrate and recuperate. while everyone conversed with one another in little groups, you walked over to ryo to hand him a water bottle, and he grabbed it quite aggressively, taking you by surprise.

“okay then.” you mutter and look down, trying to avoid his eyes, but it wouldn’t work.

“i thought you were gonna root for me, not quicksilver and the x-men over there.” his petty statement almost made you think there was no way he could be serious right now, but based off your fiancé’s track record, he was oh so serious. it was ridiculous, really. was it a crime to cheer for your friends? in his eyes, yes, it was.

“i’m just trying to cheer for everyone.” you try reasoning with him, even if there was no point. “sorry that wasn’t clear, i guess.”

“yeah, well maybe consider your fiancé next time.” ryo scoffed as he walked away from you, tossing his now empty water bottle to the side.

without trying, suga overheard the conversation clear as day. you could almost sense his presence from far behind you. but when you look over to him, he quickly turned his head away and acted like he wasn’t listening.

the negative thoughts that swam in your head were interrupted by ukai announcing that the second set would start. you just wanted to have fun today, and you would still try to do exactly that. screw what ryo had to say, right?

as the second set began, yamaguchi came in to pinch serve for daichi after politely asking for just one chance to do so. daichi, being the total sweetheart he is, obviously said yes and told him to do his thing. yamaguchi could feel his hands shake violently as he walked over to the makeshift court, but let his anxieties fade away when yachi gave him a thumbs up.

while his serve wasn’t perfect, the ball thankfully managed to go over the net. the warehouse team tried spiking the ball, but thanks to a triple block from suga, tsukishima, and tanaka, the ball dropped onto the warehouse side, allowing the office team to score.

you without hesitation cheer for suga and the office team extra loud this time. even if you were acting a little extra, you decided not to care about it right now. you knew you’d hear plenty about it later, but that was a future you problem. at least, that’s what you thought.

ryo was boiling with anger now, so when it came for his chance to spike the ball, he slammed it right in suga’s face, knocking him to the ground instantly. it put the entire game on pause as everyone was frozen in shock over what just happened. ryo tried to chest bump his fellow warehouse guys since he scored (although unfairly), but they weren’t feeling it whatsoever because of suga clearly looking like he was in pain.

“suga!” you gasp as you and your coworkers rush to his side.

“man down! we got a man down!” ukai yelled, drumming out the theatrics as per usual.

everyone tried inspecting suga like a guinea pig, words overlapping as they all tried speaking at the same time. he grew frustrated over the sudden treatment, throwing his hands up in the air to make it all stop.

“guys, i’m fine, i’m fine!” suga insisted, trying his best to ignore the pain.

“suga, your nose is bleeding!” nishinoya pointed out. suga swiped his fingers under his nose and watched as droplets of blood fell onto his skin, shocked as he couldn’t feel himself bleeding at all.

“oh my god, he’s dying!” ukai cried out dramatically.

“shut up!”

god, all you could think of was how this was an utter disaster.

•••

“this is all my fault, isn’t it? i should’ve just kept my mouth shut…” you say to the camera with a frown.

•••

while the game was on pause, the office team tried to figure out how they were going to move forward. suga sat there with tissues plugged up his nose, although kiyoko insisted he put pressure on it to stop the bleeding. however, he was insistent on getting back onto the court, but his teammates had other plans.

“suga, you should sit out for awhile.” daichi said, as much as it pained him to say it. “at least until your nose stops bleeding.”

“but…” he pouted, looking over to you. you knew he was having so much fun up until this point. even if it wasn’t a serious match, it was nice seeing him so happy doing something he was good at. suga wanted to see you look so proud of him, but he couldn’t do that with an active nosebleed.

“it’s okay.” you reassure him, and only because you said it was okay, suga surrendered.

“okay.” he sighed, trying to quickly think of a new plan for the team, and he had a lightbulb almost instantly. “kageyama?”

“huh? me?” kageyama questioned.

“i need you to take over.” suga said. “i know you’re good at volleyball. way better than me.”

“well, i haven’t played since college, but—” he shrugged before acting cocky. “oh, alright. don’t threaten me with a good time.”

“if sugawara’s out, can i be out too?” tsukishima raised his hand. he wanted no parts on this nonsense anymore. with good reason, you thought.

“tsukki, you’re literally fine. get your tall ass back out there.” ukai said, seeing no reason why he should quit now.

“yamaguchi, punch me in the face.” tsukishima spoke without hesitation while yamaguchi immediately protested against the idea.

“eh?! no way!”

“okay, i’ll make your little girlfriend do it. come on, yachi.” he said.

“girlfriend?!” yachi exclaimed, her cheeks burning red.

“nobody’s punching you, tsukki!” yamaguchi yelled.

“fine, i’ll do it myself—”

“no, no, no!” yamaguchi and yachi immediately tried to stop him together, swatting tsukishima’s fists away from his face. thankfully, their efforts weren’t in vain as there was no reason for him to inflict harm on himself.

“i can take tsukishima’s place!” hinata leaped and waved his hand for everyone’s attention. it was almost like a record scratch as they all froze in placed and turned to an overenthusiastic hinata.

“huh?!” kageyama gawked. “as if!”

“you don’t know what i’m capable of, kageyama!” he huffed, crossing his arms and pouting like a child.

“daichi, it’s your call.” tanaka said.

daichi put some thought into it for a second, and that second consisted of the words “fuck it, we ball” entering his brain. “let’s see what you got.”

“yay!” hinata jumped for joy, as opposed to kageyama’s despair.

“i hate my life…” he groaned.

•••

“are you excited about playing in the match?”

“excited? excited is an understatement! i’m so…” hinata paused, trying to think of a better word, but failed to do so. “excited! oh man, i need a better word for excited…”

•••

finally, the second set continued. it was pretty rusty for the office team at first as they struggled with the new lineup, and it irritated everyone to no end, especially kageyama.

“god, hinata! you suck!” he groaned in frustration. kageyama was a star setter all throughout his youth, so being matched up with hinata was quite literally his worst nightmare. his fireball of a coworker was too giddy and overhyped to actually hit the ball. instead, hinata always jumped too high to spike the ball in time before it fell to the ground.

“no, you suck! your sets are terrible!” hinata argued. “i thought you were “king of the court”? give me something good, at least!”

“oh, i’ll give you something good, pipsqueak…” kageyama muttered under his breath, cracking his knuckles in preparation to bring on the power.

as the match kept rotating, suga returned to the parking lot after cleaning up in the building bathroom. his nose was cleared up now, but he wasn’t too antsy to return playing just yet. instead, he walked over to you and stood with you while as you continued watching the match from the sidelines.

suga tapped your shoulder, and without him saying a word, you instantly knew it was him standing beside you. of course, your first thought was his well-being as you were ridden with guilt. “suga! are you feeling okay?”

“yeah, i’m okay.” he assured you. “been through worse, no doubt.”

“are you gonna get back in the game then?” you ask him.

“no… i think i should sit the rest of this out. let you root for someone other than me.” suga replied. you knew he had to have heard your conversation with ryo earlier. now you were just embarrassed. you didn’t want him to hear that, and he must have known what ryo did to him was on purpose, you were sure of it.

“yeah, okay, sure…” you frown.

when you turn your attention back to the match, kageyama had given hinata the perfect set. his eyes were so clearly set on the ball, and despite being in the back row, he rushed out of everyone’s way and jumped so high it left the warehouse team frozen in shock. when he spiked the ball, it slammed so hard against the ground that it ricocheted out of sight, and the sound startled all of you.

with the ball gone, no one knew what to do. everyone’s attention turned to hinata, and he couldn’t help but feel like he just did something bad. the stares were killing him. “am i in trouble?”

“trouble? no, no, no.” ukai shook his head. “you just won the game.”

“what? no fair!” ryo instantly complained. the other warehouse guys weren’t all that pressed, just him. but what else are you supposed to play with when there’s no ball?

“we lost our only ball and you were losing anyway! office team wins!” ukai announced, and the office workers immediately roared with excitement. they all lifted hinata into the air and chanted his name, thanking him for not only ending this monstrosity, but also granting them victory.

despite the lively mood, you couldn’t find it in your heart to be happy for your fellow office employees. you wanted to show your happiness for them so badly, but what happened with ryo and suga remained ingrained in your mind. when your eyes meet ryo’s angry gaze, you decided it was best if you just stayed silent.

suga’s focus wasn’t on the celebrations anymore, it was on you. like always, he could read that sad look on your face so easily. he knew, and suga could only hope that one day you’d escape those shackles, even if it meant you didn’t end up in his arms. he just wanted you to be happy.

but regardless of everyone’s excitement, the mood had to be ruined one way or another. “alright, now everyone get back to work!”

“boo!”

•••

“the great thing about sports is that it’s all about character,” ukai began, speaking as if he were giving an inspirational speech. “and you can learn lessons about life even if you don't win… but we did win because we were ahead, so ha!”

“you didn’t do anything, ukai.”

“that’s what she said.” he winked to the camera, resulting in the first of many eye rolls and face palms from the camera crew to occur.

•••

(bonus scene)

later that day, everyone had went home for the night, but you had stayed for a little while longer as ukai needed some extra work done from you on such short notice. you went to the break room for one last cup of coffee before leaving, but there laid a note on the table, one with your name on it.

“thanks for being my biggest fan today. i hadn’t been so excited about volleyball in the longest time and i really appreciate it.

—suga.

ps. check the fridge. you forgot something.”

you furrow your eyebrows in confusion before opening the fridge. inside, there was a yogurt with a sticky note that read “y/n” on it. when you removed the sticky note, it was your favorite, and then you remembered what happened that night ryo called you on your way to the bus stop with suga. you forgot the yogurt he bought you at the convenience store.

ryo would never remember things like that, but suga always did. if only ryo could be like him. if you could only be with suga instead.

oh.

“fuck.” you curse to yourself before realizing you were still being filmed. “you guys can censor that, right?”

“just don’t tell ukai.”

“easy.” you say. what wouldn’t be easy, however, was navigating this newfound revelation.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 21 days

Note

Am I The Asshole for comforting my friend’s ex-partner?

People in this story: Me (19M), my friend, Jason (17M), his ex-partner, Leon (16M) [All fake names]

So, my friend Jason recently broke up with Leon, after a year of them being together (like, right after their anniversary). This was honestly a long time coming, as Jason has been venting to me about all these little things that Leon has done (he never visits Jason at work, he rarely buys gifts or pays for dates even though Jason always does, he’s too clingy, etc) so I wasn’t surprised, and I don’t think either Jason or Leon were very surprised either.

Jason is actually very happy he finally ended the relationship, and now that it’s over, he started to open up to me more about things Leon has done. He’s saving the in-depth conversation for when we can talk in person, but he told me there was manipulation and gaslighting going on, I just don’t know how or to what severity. Although, despite this, Jason says he doesn’t really have much ill will against Leon, and while he doesn’t want to remain friends (and now has him blocked on socials), is still fine interacting with him. (Of course, they’re in high school together so they’ll have to interact pretty frequently.)

Leon on the other hand… is pretty torn up. Which is understandable, even if it is his fault Jason broke up with him. He was publicly (but subtly) venting on social media, and Jason told me that during the breakup he was also very visibly upset and talked about thinking he (himself) deserved to die. (Which is… possibly a manipulation tactic, possibly a depressed teenager thing, but most likely a mix of both.)

Now, I’m friends with both of them (it’s hard not to be, since they’re almost always together). I’m closer with Jason and we talk almost every day, but Leon and I are somewhat close as well, so it wasn’t surprising to me when Leon messaged me to talk about the breakup.

Leon send multiple paragraphs venting about the breakup. He basically just told me he feels guilty, and hopeless, and he felt like his efforts in the relationship could only be seen by himself. He also told me he understands and won’t judge if I start to dislike him now that Jason broke up with him, and asked me to take care of Jason now that he won’t be able to.

Some of his message seemed a little manipulative-y? (Like the self-depreciation, he was also somewhat implying he wanted to kill himself…?) Which makes sense with everything Jason told me about him, but I still tried to respond the same way I would respond to any friend who just had a bad breakup, while also throwing a little “I hope you learn and grow from this” in there for good measure.

Because, see, I believe Jason when he says Leon was manipulative and a toxic partner. And I know Leon is probably fishing for sympathy, at least a bit. However… He’s also 16 years old. Which doesn’t make any of Leon’s actions okay, obviously. A 16 year-old should know right from wrong. But I know 16 year olds have a lot of growing up to do, and I don’t think Leon is an irredeemably bad person.

I can’t know for certain if Leon was purposefully acting malicious or if he was just too immature to understand what he did wrong. But either way, I’d feel like a dick telling a 16 year old who sees me as a good friend that I don’t want to hear him vent or I don’t care about his problem because it’s all his fault anyway. So, I just listened, told him I hope he grows from this, and told him to take care of himself and I hope things get better for him.

I’m definitely going to distance myself from him going forward, probably especially when Jason tells me the rest of the details of their relationship, but I figured the breakup is so fresh (happened the day before Leon came to me) I can at least let him vent for now. Break ups do fucking suck, even if it is your fault or you deserved it. So, I don’t know. Jason didn’t seem too bothered with what I said to Leon, but idk. AITA? I hope that all made sense :’)

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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she-posts-nerdy-stuff · 22 days

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Did someone say Zoyalai coded songs by indie artists who deserve more attention? Probably not but I’m going to give you some anyway

Kanej version - Helnik version - Wesper version

Blossoms by The Amazing Devil Zoya of the garden vibes but also works very well for both of them- “I climb up the ladder, had I taken more care I might’ve seen all the rot in the rungs” “And I stare at the soldiers before me, all my blossoms that have waited to fall, and I walk and I walk and I walk and I walk knowing every last one of them is painted in light as I make myself acquainted with the Saint of Never Getting It Right”

Drinking Song by House Phone actually planning a crows edit to this one but it still fits - “I might have grown to be a king, more mighty than the kings you’ve known, who led us through a peaceful time and never simply occupied the throne but out of castle light I’d still be such a sight for sorest eyes, I’d be a pauper in disguise. I might have led the cavalry into glory in the battle field, and they would cast a monument in silver of my weathered shield but now, with all my medals pawned, no proof except my silver tongue to tell of all the valour I have won”

King by Florence + the Machine - “I am no mother, I am no bride, I am King. I need my golden crown of sorrow, my bloody sword to swing, I need my empty halls to echo with grand self-mythology. I am no mother, I am no bride, I am King”

Not Yet/Love Run (reprise) by The Amazing Devil - “It seems, oh it seems, to me, that you can’t sleep” “Sing me awake with a song about pirates and I will try to harmonise, and sip the sunlight from your eyes, oh sing me awake with all the things we’ll do today but instead we’ll build a den out of pillows and get drunk again” “It seems, oh it seems, to me, that you… you can’t dance for shit” “Where is god, ma? Where’s the vodka? If my old mum could see me now, oh how she’d howl” “Love run (love run) Love run (love run) For all the things you wished you’d done, run for all you know that’s coming, run to show that love’s worth running to”

Howl by Florence + the Machine - “If you could only see the beast you’ve made of me, I held it in my heart it seems you’ve set it running free” “The Saints can’t help me now, the ropes have been unbound, I hunt for you with bloodied feet across the hallowed ground” “A man who is pure of heart and says his prayers by night may still become a wolf when the autumn moon is bright” “Be careful of the curse that falls on young lovers, starts so soft and sweet and turns them to hunters”

King by The Amazing Devil - “I’ll keep the king, when you are gone away. Into darkness and howling I’ll keep him from drowning when our boat is untethered from the dock” “And the waves made of fingers and the darkness that lingers rips into the bark of our bones” “the sea and its waters, every unwanted daughter” “but our voices collide with each howl of the tide singing all hell and its fire waits for us”

As usual I might come back and add more if I think of them, and please always feel free to add more

#zoyalai #nikolai lantsov #zoya nazyalensky #zoya nazyelensky #nikolai x zoya #grishaverse #leigh bardugo #king of scars #rule of wolves #shadow and bone #seige and storm #ruin and rising #zoya of the garden #dragon queen #Ravka #save shadow and bone

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stemwriter · 4 months

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Pursuit of Knowledge - Chapter 4

Summary:

[Y/N] continues Act II of Mondstadt, finds out the worst thing about not having the ability to control time at will, and, along with Kaeya, takes a well deserved rest. What's something else that happens in Act II?

That's right! The Diluc trial run. Still, even that should be "normal", right?

Completion of story recommended: Akasha Pulses, the Kalpa Flame Rises (Sumeru Act V), Shenanigans and Sweet Wine (Kaeya hangout)

Also on Ao3 under StemWriter!

Word count: ~8k

You were part of the story now, weren’t you? No matter if the world your avatar was in was made from earth and sky or 1’s and 0’s, you were influencing it regardless. At this point, it’d probably be best to just go with the flow, but you had been thinking about what major event you would want to change, and you really hoped everything would stick to the script long enough to enable you to do that. Even if it meant you would end up upsetting people by hiding things from them.

The four of you hung around in the tavern for a bit just thinking, until Venti finally said to you, “Ah, [Y/N], it should be getting close to time now. Shall we get going?”

You looked at your phone to see the time. It was about 15 minutes past 6pm. It was time. “Oh- right, yeah, we should!”

“You two have somewhere to be? Since Kaeya and I have nothing more to talk about up here, I suppose I can go do other things. If you need me, I’ll be working the bar for a while.” Diluc said, crossing his arms.

“Everyone’s leaving already? Well then, I’ll be taking my leave as well.” Kaeya said, heading towards the stairwell.

He hung around for a second, seemingly expecting someone to say something, then left.

“Come on [Y/N], let’s go! Our prize is waiting for us!” Venti tried to make it sound like you weren’t about to try to steal a divine artifact, and become wanted criminals.

Oh right, you were going to see Diluc again after this! You should probably give him a little hint on what’s going to happen.

“Alright, we’re going to go now.” You walked up to Diluc, and began whispering. “Hey Diluc,” He looked at you. “I promise it wasn’t us, it was the Fatui.”

He looked at you in confusion.

“You’ll get that later. Anyway, bye~” Your tone sounded a lot like Venti’s at the end there. You sighed internally when you thought about that.

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“Alright fortune-teller, what’s going to happen?” Venti asked, eager to get a response from you. For some reason, it almost seemed like he already knew, and was just asking you to see what you’d say.

“Well… We’re not going to get arrested, I can tell you that. At least, not if we do this right.” You didn’t want to tell him it wouldn’t work.

“Is that all you can tell me?” He whined. “Fine, let’s go in.” He pouted after saying that. “But you have to tell me more later! I want to see how much you know!”

You went back in the Cathedral with him, making sure to be quiet. He stayed behind while you snuck your way to the Holy Lyre. You made sure to be very careful there, assuming the guards were actual people, and not the dumbest A.I. you’ve ever seen in any modern game. You looked at their movements on your way in, and they… still seemed robotic. Were they still AI? They can’t be, right? You looked at the face of one of the guards, and while his face had a few more polygons than the NPC’s you saw in the regular game, he had a blank stare as he paced back and forth. That’s… something to think about later. You kept going through the basement, avoiding being seen.

During your attempt at burglary, you remembered your soundboard. You hadn’t used that in a bit, and you knew a good moment to use it again is coming up. You got that ready as you made your way through.

As you entered the room with the lyre, an Electro Cicin Mage steals it, and teleports out. Wow! What a surprise! Thankfully, you just got teleported out of the building too, because you weren’t sure you could go back through the basement without getting caught.

“We’re busted! Run!” You and Paimon said at the same time.

Venti looked a bit confused for a second before leaving with you to the tavern. You made sure your soundboard was ready.

*Benny Hill theme*

The goofy music was fitting, considering the wind tunnel things you assumed he made threw you into the huge statue in the middle of the plaza, as well as the roofs of several buildings. Your grand escape wasn’t very graceful, but you made it safely. As you busted into the tavern, Venti gave you a weird look.

Next thing you knew, you were talking with Diluc again. Right before you headed upstairs, you decided to remind him of what you’d said earlier about the Fatui. In the version you remembered, he trusted the Traveler enough to not turn them in, but you still wanted to make sure he didn’t turn you in here. You listened as two Knights rushed in.

“Ah, Master Diluc. Have you seen two thieves around?”

“...What happened?”

“Haven't you heard, Master Diluc? Two thieves were trying to steal the Holy Lyre!”

“Oh? How odd… any ideas on who the culprits could be? Fatui, perhaps?” He remembered. Yes!

“We don’t know, Master Diluc. One appeared young, was dark-haired, and dressed in a teal green, and the other was… blond. We’re putting up wanted posters now.”

You still didn’t know how they got so much from Venti and yet couldn’t describe Aether as anything else as “blond”.

“I believe they headed that way.” Diluc said, pointing out the door.

You went downstairs to talk to him, Venti running ahead of you. Diluc already seemed tired of Venti’s attitude, assuming he stole something. Not the Holy Lyre der Himmel, but a bottle of alcohol.

You forgot the Traveler and Paimon hadn’t met Diluc yet. Sure, you have, but they weren’t you. Thankfully, Diluc understood enough to where a quick “Ooohhh, right, they haven’t met you yet!” was enough to get the point across. He continued as you remembered, sneaking in an expected bash at the Knights at the end.

Diluc really didn’t like the Knights, huh? You understood that he felt that way because of trauma and stuff, but you wished he had a more… positive attitude about things like that. There weren’t any therapists in Teyvat, were there? Oh! New idea! Become the therapist. Were you qualified? Probably not. But at this point, anyone for these people to talk to would help. You sat back and listened to Venti’s stunning performance again, this time without the fancy cutscene to go with it. Diluc looked awe-struck, probably the same way you did when you first heard it.

You agreed to meet after midnight, when the tavern was closed. Great! Another six hours to wait! …That rhymed, didn’t it.

“Alright, I don’t really have anything to do, so I’ll probably just eat something and take a nap. Bye, see you later!” You said to them, leaving the tavern. You found a corner to log off, and left your bedroom to go “take care” of yourself.

Your eyes hurt a bit from looking at the screen for so long, and your stomach growled with hunger. You’d been online for a good 7 hours, and you only now realized just how much you needed a break. Well, time flies fast when you’re having fun! ‘Was all of that really fun though?’ You asked yourself, before immediately pushing that thought out of your mind to go eat a whole family-sized bag of potato chips. Self care!

You snacked before… gracefully falling asleep, yeah, that, on your couch for a nap that would end up lasting way longer than you anticipated.

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As it turns out, falling asleep on an uncomfortable couch after binging on junk food isn't the best for the human body. You woke up on the floor, nauseous, and somehow even more tired than when you fell asleep, and you decided to go in the bathroom just in case. You checked the time on your phone, and it was already close to midnight. Thankfully, the nauseousness went away and you didn’t have to get worried about getting sick at the worst time possible. You washed your face, and headed to your bedroom to meet the others in the tavern.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Before [Y/N] had left with Venti, they said something that Diluc had no clue what it meant until those Knights came running in, looking for the thief who stole the Holy Lyre. He had chosen to believe [Y/N] when they said they could basically see the future, and this only proved it more.

The question was no longer if they were telling the truth or not. It was how to proceed. He had some time to spare while they waited until the tavern closed. He needed to investigate this on his own. “It was the Fatui”, [Y/N] said. If that was so, then he should start where all the Fatui in the city seem to stay. He headed to the Goth Grand Hotel, preparing for a search for answers.

He hadn’t seen Kaeya at all. He was normally still out and about at this time. Did he actually wrap things up at a decent hour? Or was he up to something?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As soon as Kaeya left the third floor of the tavern, he was hit with a wave of exhaustion. He was planning to stay in the tavern for a bit, and possibly wait for [Y/N] and Venti to do whatever they needed to, but he desperately needed rest. He left the tavern, beginning to walk to his room in the Favonius Headquarters. Wait, couldn’t he use the waypoint there? [Y/N] had taught him how earlier that day.

It was at the highest point, wasn’t it? He just needed to visualize the area, imagine himself there. Just feel it, and…

And there he was. He almost fainted from the sensation paired with his exhaustion, but he made it. He glided down to the door on the roof, and entered the building. It had been a long day, hadn’t it? He entered his room, took off the bits of armor he was wearing, and promptly passed out on his bed.

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He woke up in the middle of the night for seemingly no reason. Everything told him that he wasn’t supposed to be up right now, but he didn’t feel like he could fall back asleep. He sat up, and realized how bad he felt. He was drenched in sweat, his hair was a mess, and his eyepatch had shifted, making his right eye visible. He quickly adjusted it. There wasn’t anyone else in the room, right? …Of course there wasn’t.

After a quick shower, he changed into a clean uniform, minus most of the accessories. It wasn’t worth the time to put all of that on for the little he was planning to do. He figured he wouldn’t need it, since he could easily hold his own in a fight, should he get in one, but he decided to bring his Vision with him.

He left the building, being careful not to make too much noise, and realized he had no destination in mind. Had the tavern closed yet? Ah, it probably had, it’s not worth it. Is it? Again, something told him to just forget stopping by, but it wouldn’t hurt to check, right? He planned to stop by the tavern to see if it was open, and if it was, to get a drink before leaving the city. After that? You know what they say in Mondstadt:

“Let the wind lead.”

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Venti couldn’t believe Master Diluc wouldn’t serve him any more alcohol, especially when he was going to be in the tavern, in a room filled with wine barrels for so long. He was alone now, so maybe he could sneak just one more sip without him noticing… But that wouldn’t prove he was trustworthy now, would it? And besides, he wasn’t that addicted to it to where he couldn’t go a few hours without it. For now, he just started to come up with his latest ballad to pass the time.

Or at least he was going to, but he just couldn’t stop thinking about [Y/N]. From the very beginning, they knew who he really was. At first he thought it was because they recognized his voice from when he helped them battle Dvalin, but they supposedly have knowledge of future events. He was wondering how much they knew, but they wouldn’t tell him much at all. It seemed like a weird way to phrase it, and they acted like they knew a lot more detail than he did, but if they really were telling the truth, were they too, aware of the s-

Venti heard Diluc open the door to the room on the third floor. He immediately looked around at the wine barrels, making sure they weren’t touched. Good thing he didn’t try anything!

“Ah, Master Diluc, you’re back! Any news on the Holy Lyre?” Venti perked up. He already knew the answer to that, but he wanted to get the conversation started.

“It’s not where I thought it may be, in the Goth Grand Hotel, but I… persuaded some Fatui members to tell me where it is.” He adjusted his left glove.

“Well then, are we only waiting for [Y/N] and the tavern to close now?” Venti asked.

“That, and I was thinking of contacting one more person to help us. I know it’s late, but hopefully she’ll understand…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Diluc stopped by the tavern to close up and check on Venti, and quickly set out again to find some others who could help. It was getting close to time, but he should be able to get someone. Hopefully Jean wouldn’t be too preoccupied with her work…

He opened the door to leave the tavern, and saw Kaeya walking away. Had he not gone to rest? Kaeya turned around after hearing the door open, and looked at Diluc with that same smug expression as always.

“Diluc, you’re still here? And here I’d thought everyone left already… I came for a drink, but I won’t bother you if you’ve already closed up.” He started to turn back around to leave.

“Hold on. I haven’t put everything away, you can come in for a bit if you’d like.” He could help right? Even though Diluc didn’t exactly get along with him very well anymore, he couldn’t deny that he got things done when he needed to.

“Oh, where’s this hospitality coming from? Do you need something from me, is that what this is?"

“I think you’d be useful to us here. I’ll discuss it with you more inside.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Diluc said he was going to contact people to help them, but Venti didn’t expect him to be back with help this soon.

He heard two sets of footsteps coming up the stairs, and then there were three in the room. The help he had found was Kaeya, who sounded almost… shy, like he didn’t feel like he should be there. When questioned about it, he got a little nervous and insisted it was just insomnia. From the looks of it, he thought he could cover up his emotions with clean clothes and perfume. Venti played along with him, changing the subject to what they were going to do next.

“So Diluc, where exactly did you say the Holy Lyre was?”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You turned on your console, opened the program, and watched the celestial pathway for a while. It had been sitting there for quite a bit now, huh?

Verifying file integrity…

Why was that taking so long?

Almost as soon as you noticed it, it went back to its normal speed, and the doors appeared. It probably wasn’t anything to worry about, but it scared you at first. You thought your game finally realized something was wrong, and was just going to either fix itself, and sever your connection to this Teyvat, or ban your account.

If you remembered correctly, Venti, Diluc, and Jean should be waiting for you inside Angel’s Share. You knew Jean couldn’t hear you, but you wondered if she would notice your avatar’s robotic movements. Apparently, she didn’t back in the Knights headquarters, but who knows? Maybe she just wasn’t paying much attention.

You walked in to an empty tavern, but after a few seconds, Venti jumped down from the second floor, landing right in front of you. He looked around, and you made Aether jump a couple of times.

“The mysterious [Y/N] has finally returned! Ready to go? Master Diluc can tell you where we need to go. Or, perhaps you already know?” He said, smiling.

He wasn’t going to stop bringing that up until you told him every little detail, was he?

You sighed, and said “Yes, I know. It’s near Springvale, isn’t it?”

You had basically just woken up, so your voice didn’t sound the best, but you hoped he wouldn’t notice. Diluc came down the stairs, followed by… Kaeya? Did he come instead of Jean? That wouldn’t drastically change anything, right? Wait, was that why it took so long to load? Because the story had changed? This wouldn’t drastically change anything yet, right? No. It can’t. Not yet.

Diluc looked at your avatar, and answered, “You’re right about the location. If we’re all ready to head off, we should get going.”

Venti turned to you, you, not your avatar, and questioned, “Everything alright, [Y/N]? Is there something bothering you?” Did you sound nervous when you answered him?

“Yeah, I just took a nap, and… I didn’t exactly sleep well. But that shouldn’t matter too much, let’s go.”

You briefly explained to Venti and Diluc how you were able to teleport, and that they should be able to do it too, and then you all were at Springvale in the blink of an eye. Venti acted like it was nothing new to him, while Diluc was… fascinated, to say the least. Kaeya had to explain to him that yes, that feeling of having your soul torn from your body was normal for this.

Diluc had quite a bit to say about it.

“Those waypoints are all over Teyvat… If the wrong people learned how to use them…” He looked in the direction of the hideout. “That could spell catastrophe worldwide.”

At one point, you had noticed Kaeya had a different shirt on. Or was it the same one, just with less of the flamboyant stuff on top of it? It was nice seeing people in different outfits, instead of the exact same clothing 24/7.

As you all stood at the entrance, you thought about what was in this domain. This was the one where you had to ask a bunch of different Fatui agents where the key to a door was, right? …And it was the one with the Diluc trial, wasn’t it?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Add another thing to the list of [Y/N]’s powers… Not only could they possess others at will, and suddenly make people stronger, and tell the future, but they could teleport anywhere in Teyvat they wanted to. And apparently, anyone could do that last thing. Diluc was surprised no one else had found out about this, and frankly, he was glad. There was also something else he didn’t know about yet. The other two kept looking at a spot a little above and behind [Y/N]’s avatar when they were talking to them. It felt like something was there, but he couldn’t see anything. He doubted it was a secret, since chances are, they wouldn’t be doing it in front of him if it was, but he hadn’t had a chance to ask anyone about it yet.

He was about to go in the hideout with everyone when [Y/N] gasped, and said they needed to tell him something.

“Hey,” they began. “I know I probably should have told you this earlier, but remember what my system did with Kaeya that one time? Or, I guess technically two times, but whatever- Just, that thing where it forces someone into my team?” They sounded very tired saying that. He knew they had just woken up, but he felt they were also just… annoyed by that happening.

“Yes. It happened less than a day ago. …Why are you bringing this up now?”

“So- I- Look, there’s nothing I can do about it, at least, not now. Maybe I can eventually figure out how to fix this, but-”

He sighed. "...I’m about to be forced into your control, aren’t I? You don’t have to tip-toe around it, I guessed that as soon as you brought it up. If you can’t do anything about it, do you at least know how long this is going to take?”

He trusted them, right? As far as he was aware, they hadn’t lied to him yet, and they were warning him beforehand. Still, it felt like he barely knew them. Should he trust them with his body? Did he even have a choice?

“Give me a bit, and I can check, but it shouldn’t be more than 10 minutes.”

“You make it sound like you can check any little detail with the snap of your fingers.”

This was a very specific event of the future they were talking about, but it would just take them a minute to check it? They’d done it before with that letter, but he had no clue how. Either that meant they were a very talented hydromancer, or they were getting their information from some other power or source.

“Oh, uh, I kind of can, except I have to do a little more than just snap my fingers. I type the thing I want into a device, I find the media I want, and then I have it. Sometimes it’s pretty hard to find said media, but I can pretty much find anything you could ever think of. Aaaand here’s the thing I was looking for! One more second…”

“You have a device that allows you to view information on anything you want? I guess that sounds about right if your world also has the technology to see the future of other worlds… I’m sure you already know of this, but we have something called astrology that allows people to see the future using the stars. Does your technology take advantage of that?”

“I’ll tell you more about the device later, but no, the technology my world has doesn’t use that. Astrology does exist here, but I’m pretty sure it doesn’t work the same as it does in Teyvat. People in my world use it to give people ideas of what may be yet to come in their lives, but here in Teyvat it’s like astrologers can see fate itself. …Anyway, I think we’re getting off track here. Going off of what I’ve seen, it’s going to take a little over 10 minutes, give or take. It might be a little longer because I’ll be focusing more on your safety than getting through it, or it might be a little shorter because I have others to help me now. Are you fine with that?”

So it’s not astrology… What is it, then? …Whatever. They’re right, they’re going off track. 10 minutes shouldn’t be too bad, especially with others watching over him to make sure [Y/N] doesn’t do anything harmful. It’s not like he had a choice, anyway.

“That’s… fine. Just try to get it over with quickly. It’s fine if I get a few scratches, just don’t kill me.”

“Alright, I guess we’re ready to head in. I’ll check to see if the guards in there can hear me. If not, great, but if so, I’m… gonna need to rethink things.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

…How were you going to explain to them what a phone is, and what the internet does? That’s a question for another time, but it still made you think.

You’d let Diluc know what was about to happen to him, and you just needed to tell everyone your plan, at least for this first part.

“One more thing, as soon as we go in, there’s going to be a rotating bridge with those cylinder torches or whatever they’re called on one side, and a clear path on the other. Once the bridge flips to the clear side, there should be just enough time to get all the way to the other side if we run like hell.”

Venti thought for a second before responding with, “Wouldn’t it be better for me to just… make a wind current at the start? Then no one has to worry about spinning bridges and torches at all~”

Oh. Right. You had others to help you. He could make a wind current and you could just. Skip over it.

“...Yeah, that might be better. I guess I’m so used to having to rely on my own skillset here that I don’t realize others can help. Also, I’m probably just... tired. Anyway, after that first room, there’s a… door with a guard who acts like he’s about to piss his pants, but after that, there’s a big room with a bunch of smaller rooms inside and we’re going to have to find a key to move on. My question here is, should we split up or stay together while we search?”

Diluc was the first to chime in this time. “Normally I’d suggest we split up, but under these circumstances, it’d be better to stick together in case something goes wrong.”

“Alright.” You said. “We’ve been standing here for a while, I think it’s finally time to go in.”

Diluc adjusted his gloves, and you all went in.

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Once again, Kaeya gets to witness [Y/N]’s powers of possession; except now, he isn’t the one experiencing it.

After everyone entered the hideout, Aether had vanished, and Diluc, now wearing a Fatui mask, stood in his place. Something about this whole situation seemed… familiar, for some reason. Nothing like this had happened before, right? …It’s probably just déjà vu.

“Come on, let’s just get this over with.” [Y/N] said, nudging Diluc forward.

Now, Diluc had the same slightly-inhuman movement Aether had when [Y/N] was using him as their “avatar”. He was somewhat used to seeing it on Aether, but it was strange seeing Diluc move like that. When he was under their control, he could only move his eyes, and now, he couldn’t even see Diluc’s, as they were covered by the mask.

Venti did as he said he would, and made a fairly large wind current to carry everyone over. He made it look incredibly easy. If it wasn’t for him hearing other Anemo Vision bearers talking about their experiences, he would have thought that was something anyone could do.

At first he thought [Y/N] had been hiding something from him, but he had a feeling they weren’t. Something was certainly… different about Venti. He couldn’t merely be just a wandering bard. Until Kaeya found out who he truly was, he figured he would stay on guard around him.

Diluc- No, [Y/N] walked into a small opening, thinking there might be something in the room it led into. There was a chest inside, guarded by 3 small Electro Slimes. They made quick work of them, unsurprisingly, but they weren’t paying attention to the fight, instead focused on something else.

They left the room and headed to a large door guarded by a very nervous-looking Agent, just as [Y/N] said. They went up alone to talk to him, and switched avatars to the Traveler, who was also wearing a Fatui mask. The Agent did not seem to notice the change.

“No, NO! Don’t eat me! Ah? You’re… You’re human? The entire floor’s defenses… have been broken. I thought it was the Abyss Order attacking…”

[Y/N] said “Hey,” testing whether or not he could hear them. No response at all. They chuckled a bit, and he could swear Aether said something, though he couldn’t hear anything.

“AH- No, do- We hi- The place- I don’t kn-”

“This guy-”

“Y-you- One of the Ele- Signora-”

The Agent pointed his sword at them in both fear and anger, still shaking, still not noticing the person he was speaking to change forms in front of him. So to get the key, they have to venture further in, also just like [Y/N] sai- Wait a minute, did he actually hear that guy say any of that? He definitely heard him say the floor’s defenses were broken… and then [Y/N] checked if he could hear them… and then they laughed for some reason… and then about 5 seconds later, the conversation was over. Something must have happened; there’s no way he could have said that much in that little time. He looked at where the man was again, only to see that… he was gone.

Kaeya turned to [Y/N], who now seemed nervous, and simply asked, “... Did you notice anything unusual there, by chance?”

“...Shit, you did notice. Uhhh, so remember when you first met Aether and you didn’t know his name until I told you because you didn’t hear it even though you knew what was said? I might have done the thing that does that again.”

Which was what, exactly? They hadn’t explained it yet, but now wasn’t the time to get an explanation from them, so he reluctantly decided to move on from that.

They opened the door and though he couldn’t see her, Paimon decided now was the time to ask questions.

“Did he say Signora? What a strange name…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaeya had described to Diluc what it felt like, and although it did feel exactly as he described, he definitely wasn’t used to it. He felt something watching him that he didn’t feel before, but when he looked in its direction, there was nothing there. He didn’t think much of it, as Kaeya had mentioned something like this to him. It was likely where [Y/N] was looking at Teyvat from.

[Y/N] talked to a guard, and for that conversation, he was thrown out of his body, now watching the Traveler from a similar position [Y/N] was. Was this how they saw the world? Strange, but again, exactly what Kaeya described.

Other than that, Diluc didn’t notice anything off with the conversation, but Kaeya apparently did. Diluc wasn’t the type of person to miss things, so he knew something weird was happening when [Y/N] responded to him in a way that practically confirmed something was off. He made a note to himself to ask them about that after this was over with.

He didn’t understand how that fairy thing- Paimon, was talking. Where was she?

“Number 8 of The Eleven. Goes by the name Signora. The fact the Fatui can run amok across the seven nations like they do is entirely because of The Eleven.”

That was his voice talking. Was that what he sounded like? …Whatever, it was just another thing Kaeya had told him about. He had been surprisingly reliable so far, but he still wondered if there was something important he was leaving out.

They entered a large hall, with a large door at the opposite end and two rooms on each side. There was a mechanism in the center that needed a key, and it presumably opened the large door. …If [Y/N]’s system hadn’t taken control of him, everyone could search one room on their own. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case, so it was better they stayed together.

They first searched what seemed to be a storage room. No one was there, so they searched every nook and cranny without interruption. At least, until a few Pyro Slimes came out of nowhere, which his abilities couldn’t provide much help with. Sure, if everything was normal, he could use just his sword instead of his Vision, but…

Kaeya and Venti made quick work of the slimes, since Venti could make a massive wind vortex to suck all the slimes in. No key to be found in there. They moved on to the next room, which stood a single guard. He seemed to stop paying attention to anyone other than the Traveler once he started talking to him. The Traveler tried to convince the guy he was part of some alliance and wanted to “borrow” the Holy Lyre, but he obviously didn’t believe it, especially not when he offered a single apple in exchange for it.

A Cicin Mage appeared, and they fought. His Pyro abilities would actually do something here, but [Y/N] still wouldn’t engage in fear they would hurt him too, with how Pyro and Electro interact. It ticked him off a bit. Fight. He told them before they all went in, it was fine if he got a few scratches, just fight, don’t just run around like a headless chicken. Did this have anything to do with them being a pacifist? She’s already attacking you, just defend yourself. Fight. It’s an easy opponent, he could easily take care of her if he could just- fight.

His body stopped for a second, then pulled out a sword he’d only seen in legend, sending off a fiery phoenix at her, setting the blade ablaze. Was he back in control?

[Y/N] screamed, before going completely silent. Diluc heard something fall to the ground with a clatter, and could feel someone watching him in fear. Was that the point Kaeya and Venti were looking at?

He still couldn’t do much. He was only able to mimic the same few repetitive motions, and even those were incredibly difficult. Every movement felt like breaking out of chains. But still, he pushed. How was he able to do this? Kaeya couldn’t escape it after hours, but he could do this after minutes? The mage was defeated, and [Y/N] finally spoke up again.

“I didn’t do any of that. …Diluc?”

He tried to move more freely, but he couldn’t do anything except that same moveset. How did he even do that? He looked around, trying to get the attention of someone, but he realized he was wearing a mask. He had no way to communicate with anyone.

“I… I don’t know, maybe my controller just glitched? Let’s just keep going.”

…There goes any hope of being able to break out of it. He shouldn’t have thought it was that easy. Still, how was he able to control himself at all, even if it was just for a few moments?

They checked the last room that was downstairs, which had a chest with a few Cicins around it. Just like the other enemies here, they weren’t an issue at all. Thankfully, the key was in the chest, and the group managed to open the door. [Y/N] said there was one more fight, and then they could get the Holy Lyre, and this whole thing would be over.

“Hey, you wanna know the guy's name?” [Y/N] asked. They sounded more and more tired by the minute.

“You know his name?” Kaeya scoffed. “If you know that much, you might as well tell us what he says to us.”

He was acting as if he didn’t believe they really could see such things, but he obviously believed it. He was just saying this to squeeze more information out of them, wasn’t he?

“Oh my god, fine, but I’m not going to be able to do stuff like this all the time. First of all, his name is, I hope I’m saying this right, Zamenhoff…? And as soon as we go in there, he says- wait should I do the voice? I’m doing the voice. ‘Where did you rats scurry out from… Signora is not going to tolerate this kind of interference in our affairs. So I'll be the one to take care of you - save her the trouble of having to deal with you herself.’ …I’m sorry. I think I need to go back to sleep.”

That was probably the least professional telling of the future he’s ever heard, but as they walked into the last room, it turned out to be accurate, just as everything else they’ve said has been. They were audibly exhausted, and he could only think of one time they’ve taken something completely seriously. Should he have let them take control of him? It hadn’t gone too horribly yet, and it was almost over, but he started to get a little nervous.

They entered the fight, and once again, he tried to perform those repetitive moves. [Y/N] was actually fighting this time, but he wanted to contribute something as well. They didn’t seem to notice anything was off this time. The Agent was defeated, and finally, he was fully in control of his own body again. He immediately let out a large sigh.

“Signora is going to end you. The songs bards sing of your demise will be so terrifying - the people of Mondstadt will never sleep again for the nightmares they give them.” Said the Agent, now escaping. [Y/N] mocked him while he was saying it, speaking at the same time as him, but in a far more dramatic tone.

They mocked Paimon too, even trying to match her high-pitched voice. He will admit he found it a bit funny, but he kept a straight face, unlike the other two, who couldn’t help but chuckle. She shot them a look before vanishing again.

“You alright?” [Y/N] asked him.

“Well, I’m not dead, so that’s something.” That… definitely could have gone better.

“So… Back to the tavern now, right? Wait, Venti, aren’t you still wanted?”

“Ahh… That may be a problem… But can’t we just teleport back?” Venti sheepishly said.

“We can only teleport to waypoints, at least as far as I know, and the nearest waypoint is right next to the plaza with all of the shops. I know it’s literally the middle of the night, but I don’t think we can be sure there won’t be anyone out. I don’t want someone seeing people appear out of nowhere.” [Y/N] had a point. Doing that when someone was near may have consequences.

“So I suppose we’re walking, then? I’ll walk ahead, and make sure any Knights patrolling at this time are… looking the other way.” Kaeya said, already going ahead of everyone else.

No one said a word for a bit. Venti had a slightly worried expression on his face, as if he was hoping whatever plan he had would work. [Y/N]’s avatar had that same expressionless face as always, which was… creepy, sometimes, but they seemed like they weren’t paying attention to anything now. Normally Diluc wasn’t one to break the silence, but he had something to say now.

“That wasn’t an issue with your controller earlier, [Y/N].”

“...Hmm?” They replied. They sounded… completely out of it. “So you did that? How?”

“I don’t know. I hope you don’t take any offense to this, but your… pacifism doesn’t exactly suit the way I do things, so, I broke out of it, in a way. I wasn’t able to fully break it, but I managed to do something.”

“So the solution to breaking out of it… is to just break out of it. Wow…!” They sarcastically said, before walking their avatar into a tree.

“I don’t mean for it to sound like that. I’m guessing I had enough willpower to resist your system a little. Again, not all the way, but I think I was able to at least do what you could.”

“That’s so weird… I think I’m gonna have to set aside some time to take a closer look at my system and figure out what’s up sometime.” They yawned. “But definitely not tonight…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

…God, you were tired. What the hell had happened in that domain? Somehow Diluc had managed to fight against your system, and do a bit on his own. How? No clue, but it was a nice surprise.

You remembered that quest on that far-away island that you couldn’t finish the first day. After this, maybe you could beg Venti to take you there so you could finally finish it. There was still about… what? An hour and a half? before you were able to continue it. Yeah, never mind, screw that. There was no way you’d be able to stay awake that much longer. That nap just made you more tired. Guess that quest’ll stay unfinished…

The four of you finally got back to the tavern. Thankfully, Kaeya managed to keep any Knights from seeing you. You pulled up the Wiki again, and found your way to the page on the part of the quest you were at.

Sure, Kaeya was there instead of Jean, but everyone else’s lines were still the same. It looked like things would be on the right track. You repeated everyone’s lines as they said them, but only vocalizing Paimon’s, while just mouthing Diluc and Venti’s to not weird them out too much.

“From now on, you’ll be known as-” Oh, this part, where Paimon gives him a nickname and refuses to call him by his actual name ever again!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Tone-deaf bard!” said Paimon and [Y/N] simultaneously. The bard didn’t seem too bothered by his new nickname.

So not only could [Y/N] could just pull up a word-for-word script of the “story” they knew whenever they wanted, but said story was accurate, also down to the word? That’s… concerning.

It had been a very long day… Kaeya hoped he could finally get some sleep. Everyone bid their farewells after agreeing to continue in the morning, and he left. Venti was still wanted, right? That may cause some problems. He made a mental note to tell Jean that the Holy Lyre was in safe hands first thing in the morning.

Again, he teleported to the Knights Headquarters, but now, he remembered why they didn’t teleport back to the tavern. Was anyone watching? He looked around, and could see no one. As for the last time he did this… He didn’t check, did he? …Whatever, it should be fine. He made his way to his dorm, and, now feeling he had enough energy to do so, actually did his nighttime routine rather than just passing out. He stayed awake for quite a while, making notes and pacing around before he finally felt tired enough to be able to sleep through the night.

Those thoughts of [Y/N]’s “story” continued as he drifted to sleep.

--------------------------------------------------------

“But I shall not bow to the will of fate. I am no pawn in heaven's plan.”

…Here he was, acting in a play, as a character destined for tragedy. Seemed familiar. His character was supposed to simply accept it, yet “he” had decided to improv a section on defying fate.

Despite this being “improv”, it was obvious all of this, scripted parts included, was supposed to reflect his own story. He’d noticed the similarities when he first heard of the story, though he didn’t fully remember when that was, but it seemed even more accurate now, looking at it from a different view.

The truth was, the improv was no less scripted than the rest of the play, nor anything else he’d experienced for that matter. This “play” began much before this street performance.

Even though it felt as if it had been years, he still remembered the beginning as clear as day.

When the Traveler first appeared in Mondstadt, he was unable to clearly remember anything prior to when they arrived. Hell, other than the most major events in his life, he couldn’t remember anything at all, and even those major events were fuzzy. He knew his interests, and his relationships with people, but it was like he had some strange form of amnesia. He’d wanted to tell someone about what he was going through, but every time he got a chance, he would black out, and wake up somewhere completely different.

To him, it hadn’t even been that long since he’d first noticed, but already, days had gone by. He “woke up” again outside of Good Hunter, in the middle of a conversation with the Traveler about something he couldn’t recall thinking about. It had been days. The periods of time he was being knocked out for were getting longer. He had to say something as soon as possible, but he found he couldn’t control what he was saying.

He quickly realized that he was bound to some sort of script. Sure, “fate” served as a loose script, but this was word for word. He wondered whether this was happening to anyone else, but had no way to check, since he was either stuck to this script or unconscious.

It would sometimes be months at a time now he would be unconscious, almost like slipping into a coma. The Traveler was there with him wherever he was, so he assumed they must have something to do with it, but he hoped they didn’t know they did. Maybe then he could still tolerate them.

Over time, it seemed like the writer started to tease him more and more. It started with a few jokes from “him” hinting at it being some kind of story, and now it was a whole play.

He was an actor, playing a character, playing a character destined for tragedy. The only difference between this play and his experiences was that in reality, he was given no choice on whether to take the role.

This little improv session with Prince Qubad made the audience think he refused to accept the fate he was given, that he rejected it entirely, but the story still ended in the same way it was written.

As he looked at it now, he was no different from Prince Qubad in this story. Or at least, “Kaeya” wasn’t. He knew how Qubad’s story was similar to his, yes, but this improv session added something to it.

There were two layers to the scripting. One was fate itself. Destiny. Most people knew about this, and it could be seen fairly easily, only needing the help of some magic. This already seemed like enough restriction, as it was supposedly extremely difficult to change, but there was even more on top of that, at least for him.

It looked like in the future, “he” would have to make a very important decision, and end up choosing a secret third option. While this would be rejecting his fate in terms of what the people of Teyvat consider it to be, he would still be following the narrative this second, stricter script had for him.

…Oh, the irony. Just like the play, the character is written to refuse fate. Sure, the original script may not have included that, just as “his” original fate does not include what he’s likely to do.

He’d been wondering whether he should keep trying to break out of this. Obviously, doing so would grant him back autonomy, but it would also be following the whole “defying fate” path set for him by whatever scripted this. Either way, he was still playing right into its hands.

“Perhaps there's an inept god out there deciding everyone's fates... much like the Akademiya student drafting Darbil's scripts. Yep, "inept" is a good word for it. Honestly, it might even be a little too civil to describe a god who turns fathers against their sons and is bent on endless warmongering... don't you think?”

Either somehow, he had managed to change the script slightly with his thoughts, or the writers were mocking him.

…It was the latter, wasn’t it? “He” continued on about how someone doesn’t have to follow the script if they don’t like it, like it was just that easy. He’d made up his mind. He had to get out of this, no matter if that was what the writers wanted.

The conversation was coming to an end now, he could feel it. The Traveler was about to leave, and from what he knew about their journey, they likely wouldn’t be seeing him again any time soon. Any second now, the Traveler would disappear, and he would be knocked out for gods know how long. Couldn’t they just stay a little longer…?

#sagau #genshin sentience au #genshin fanfic #ao3 #pursuit of knowledge

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moonlightdancer26 · 9 months

Note

rant abt james for me bc i hate him with a burning passion

thank you my luv it’s been a while since I made an anti James post 😘

(@ my beautiful followers, if you like James this post ain’t here for you <3)

Aight, let’s get to work:

I honestly can’t understand why people love James so much. Like, I get thinking “oh I wish we could’ve seen more content of James/the Marauders” is okay bc the Marauders era is one of the most interesting things about the series……. but having a whole ass FANDOM for him when he literally didn’t even have 20 whole lines in all 7 books and basically being a plot device with zero relevance?? And then attacking and acting superior to fans who like the original series?? Where did all this audacity come from? 😭

Also?? The longest scene we see with James in it has him choking someone with soapsuds (aka waterboarding.. which is a known torture method), harassing and blackmailing the girl he likes, threatening to hex her when all she was doing was defending her friend, AND SEXUALLY ASSAULTING ANOTHER BOY FOR NO REASON (oh sorry hold on I remember, the reason was bc “he exists” and “Sirius was bored”). I genuinely cannot fathom how people can read all that and then think “oh yeah James was def a good guy, anyway Snape totally deserved it.” Every scene we see (emphasis on see, I’m not relying on James’s best friend to simply tell us how “awesome sauce” he was 🤷‍♀️) James in has him being absolutely awful just for the hell of it, JKR really thought she could have one of his besties say “oh well he actually kinda deflated his head a lil bit so it’s oKaY Harry” and then get away with it 💀

Anyway, not only does James suck, but he’s also ✨Irrelevant.✨ He ✨serves no purpose.✨ He ✨has no character.✨ He ✨is a plot device.✨ He ✨was dead a decade before the series began.✨ He doesn’t even have an interesting backstory or any interesting factors, he was literally just an asshole who boned Lily and got his ass murdered by Voldy. I don’t even care if Severus was worse than him or not, at least Sev was INTERESTING, at least he had an actual personality. James serves no purpose in the story besides being Harry’s father.

That’s all for now, I can yell in DMs if you’d like.

#anti james potter #hot damn that tag looks good on my posts #anti marauders #anti marauder stans #anti marauders stans #anti marauderfen #anti marauders stan #harry potter #hp

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gyumibear · 1 year

Text

Denial.

◦ Pairing — Choi Yeonjun x GN! Reader, slight Kang Taehyun x Reader

◦ WC — ~5k

◦ Genre — Angst, Slight Hurt/Comfort & Romance in the end

◦ Warnings — Swearing, Mentions of cheating, Mentions of breaking up, Yeonjun just is not redeemable in this one...he insults Y/N a bit...Taehyun comforts you!

◦ A/N — This is my first full post lol, I hope it does well! Much thanks to @gyuwrites for helping me build and plan this fic! Bigger thanks to @yujipg for designing the graphic! I really appreciate the both of you so much! <3 Also thanks to the other k-labels/kflixnet members that beta’d!

You had always ignored the signs. You ignored it when he turned you down to hang out with her instead. She is one of his closest friends. It's fine. You ignored it when he wanted to study with her instead. Maybe they made plans beforehand... Yep, you had ignored every sign, choosing to make excuses for him. Because you loved him. But your love did nothing but bite you in the butt in the worst moment of your life.

“Hey, can we study for midterms together tonight? I miss you!” You had asked him on the phone just a few hours prior.

“Ah, not today babe…” Again, he was turning you down…

“Eh, why not? We haven’t seen each other all week!”

“I’m sorry…” He “claimed” to be. “I already promised—”

“No worries! I’ll just study on my own… Maybe next time!” You had cut him off, not wanting to drag on the conversation any longer.

You felt sad, knowing he was choosing her over you again, but you didn’t want to look like the jealous partner, so you folded. You always did…

“Jun can’t study with me tonight, so I think I’ll go to the library. I always do better there.” You chatted absentmindedly with your best friend Taehyun.

“He’s with her again isn’t he?” Taehyun sighed, “Nevermind. Let’s not talk about them.”

Taehyun didn’t like to talk about Yeonjun and that girl. It made him feel uncomfortable, feeling as if Yeonjun shouldn’t be prioritizing another person over the person he was dating. He had tried to talk to you about it, but it only ever made you sad, forcing him to give up on the conversation so you wouldn’t break down.

He wished Yeonjun would treat you better. He wished he could treat you better.

“Yeah, it’s whatever.” You waved your hand around, “She needs him. And I trust Jun. He’s never given me a reason not to, even though I wish I could see him more.”

“I can always talk to him about it,” Taehyun suggested, “If you want.”

“Nah.” You waved him off in response. “I don’t want him to feel like he has to choose. She was his friend before we even knew each other anyway. I couldn’t ask him to drop her. Just like how he couldn’t ask me to drop you, my dear childhood friend.”

Yeah, friend. Taehyun’s thoughts were bitter at that moment. You two had only ever been friends. He was the only one that had ever wanted to be more. You never seemed to think of him as anything else. Now to see you with Yeonjun, sucked. Especially because Taehyun knows that Yeonjun does not deserve you. Not at all.

“Your call.” He responded plainly. “You sure you don’t want me to come with you? I’m free.”

“No no! You have work in the morning right? I couldn’t interrupt your sleep, haha.”

You wouldn’t be interrupting anything… Taehyun wished he had the confidence to just tell you everything. All of his thoughts, everything he knew. But he just couldn’t do it. It could ruin everything. He was such a coward.

“Well, at least let me get you dinner first!”

“Sure Tyun,” You smiled, making his heart flip. “Let’s get dinner.”

After you’d gotten done with Taehyun, you grabbed your things and dashed right to the library. You were hoping nobody was in your “secret spot” that you and Yeonjun had found your first year of school. You studied there even if he wasn’t with you. It just brought you immense comfort.

As you turned the corner into that spot, your eyes widened in shock and then, betrayal. Yeonjun and his “friend” were wrapped around each other, lips entwined with such familiarity that you knew instantly that this was not their first time doing this.

“Oh-” You couldn’t stop the word from slipping out of your mouth, immediately catching the attention of your boyfriend and his companion.

“Y/N? You weren’t supposed to be here!” Yeonjun pulled away from the girl, pushing his hair back to try and make himself look composed.

“I… I don’t. What?” Your brain was still trying to process what was going on, and by the time it did, Yeonjun was already up, trying to reach out to grab you.

“This isn’t what it looks like, I swear!”

“Then what am I looking at Jun?”

“I— Look, Y/N, I-”

Feeling tears well up in your eyes, several thoughts ran through your head. Angry, bitter ones, but mostly hurt ones. How could he do something like that to you? Did he want you to see this? How long has this been going on? Weeks? Months? You figured that time didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, but you couldn’t stop your brain. However, you knew you didn’t want them to see you break down. While Yeonjun was stuttering out apologies and excuses, you turned stiffly on your heel and dashed away, Yeonjun muttering something unheard to the girl before quickly running after you.

Walking out of the building completely, you kept your pace swift, needing the utmost distance from the library that you could find. You didn’t even have an exact location where you wanted to go. Anywhere that was far away from that jerk would be just fine with you, you supposed. But you knew you couldn’t go to your dorm, that was too easy. In your shock, you hadn’t even noticed you’d dropped your bag in the library. Maybe you could get one of your friends to grab it later because you weren’t sure if you’d be stepping back in there anytime soon. What was supposed to be a place of comfort to you had just become the setting for the worst night you had had in years.

You wondered if they were back there, laughing at you. You tried to tell yourself you didn't care, that it didn't matter, but you weren't that convincing because sooner than later you found yourself bawling at a random bus stop. You continued sobbing as you got on and off the bus, not caring that you looked embarrassing. Some kind older women tried to comfort you, but the most they could do was offer you tissues and sympathetic glances.

Your body had gone onto autopilot after you started sobbing. You hadn’t even noticed that you were on a familiar route, walking through a familiar park. Your thoughts only kicked in when you sat down on the bench in the exact park he had confessed that he liked you two years back. Why would I even come here? Now I'm just torturing myself.

"Y/N!" A familiar voice belonging to a familiar jerk pleaded, sounding like it was getting annoyingly close to your location. “Y/N! Are you out here?”

How would he even know you’d come here? Standing up as quickly as possible, you started speed-walking in the opposite direction of the voice. It was too soon. It was not the time, and you were pretty sure it would never be the time. The same voice that was once calling you “the most beautiful person he’d ever seen” belonged to the same mouth that was kissing someone else behind your back. What's the point of dating you if he was just going to cheat? It would’ve been better if he had just broken up with you! It would’ve hurt, but way less than this.

"Y/N! Slow down!" You sped up, trying to show him you did not want to talk.

"Leave me alone." You turned a corner, trying to find a way to lose him.

"Please! Please, just let me explain."

You spun around to face him, watching him throw his bike down to the side. Ah, he rode his bike here. That’s how he got here so quickly. Had he followed the bus on his bike too? You used to find his dedication so admirable, but now you felt nothing.

"There's nothing to explain, J- Yeonjun.” You forced yourself to use his actual name, to show him you were serious. “I saw what I saw. There's nothing else to the story. How could you do something like that? To me?"

Your voice wavered with every word, but you forced yourself to get them out. No matter how hurt you were. No matter how much you wanted to curl up and cry. No matter how much you wished this was just a bad dream. You needed to know. You needed to know why you weren’t good enough.

"Y/N, it was a mistake-"

“No." He was not about to pull the classic ‘cheater gets caught and cries’ card. A spike of anger instantly filled you. "Don’t give me shit, Yeonjun! It was obvious that something was going on! I noticed everything! I saw all the signs and I ignored them. Why? Because I trusted you. I trusted you in our relationship, I trusted you to be honest, and I trusted you with my heart. But I was stupid, I was so, so stupid. But not now. I'm not going to keel over. Just tell me why. That’s all I want because this is over. We’re done, so just tell me why you did it."

You refused to say more. You’d gotten out everything you wanted to say for now. Crossing your arms you glared defiantly into the eyes of your ex until he lowered his head. But after what seemed like hours of staring at him, he still said nothing. His eyes were glued to the ground below him, and you couldn’t tell what he could be thinking. Your thoughts drifted to the girl for a second, wondering what was going through her mind. You quickly shook those thoughts away, this wasn’t about her. This was about you and Jun.

"Come on tell me," You hissed out, making Yeonjun finally return your eye contact. You stared deep into his eyes, making your face as blank as you could manage. “I’ll give you one minute before I walk away. Just tell me. Why wasn’t I enough for you?”

You could see the gears turning behind his eyes. You wondered if he was gonna pull that cliche and have a good excuse like you read in those fanfic stories. You wondered if he was gonna turn the tables and yell at you. If he’d just walk away. But as you wondered and time ran out, he didn't say a word. He just kept looking down at the ground. In your heart, he instantly became nothing to you. Silence doesn't always equal guilty, but in this case, you were the jury and your verdict was guilty.

"Three... Two. One." You counted down, half wanting him to stop you. "Okay, Goodbye Jun."

As you turned your back on him, you heard him take a deep sigh. Oh, now he wants to say something? He always did have a flair for the dramatics. You turned back around, eyes widening when Yeonjun no longer looked guilty. He looked…annoyed.

“You want to know why?” His voice was low, filled with spite. “Because you were boring. It was always about studying with you. Library date this, library date that. So fucking boring.”

Your mouth instantly gaped open. This was not what you were expecting to hear. Yeonjun, however, wasn’t done. He crossed his arms, glaring at you before he continued talking.

“And when you weren’t being fucking boring, you were clingy! Jun, I miss you! Jun when can we hang out? Jun, can I come to hang out with you and the guys?” He mocked your voice effortlessly, gesturing with his hands. “I never got a fucking break with you. Never a moment to myself with you. Granted it was cute the first year, but then I started realizing just how much it pissed me off.”

You wrapped your arms around yourself unconsciously, trying to shield yourself from his words. The tears that had dried up on your face had returned, sliding down your cheeks to your chin. You never thought you’d be hearing these words from Yeonjun. Your sweet, considerate boyfriend? It was like he never existed now.

Yeonjun was still ranting on, while you tried to curl into yourself. You were reflecting on his words, criticizing yourself. You’d never seen yourself as clingy or boring before… You thought he had enjoyed doing your library dates! Why hadn’t he just talked to you?

“Why didn’t you tell me you felt this way…?”

“Obviously because you would’ve done something like this! Crying to make yourself look like a victim.”

“Yeonjun, you cheated on me! I am a victim!”

“You deserved it.” He spat. “Didn’t you say you denied everything in your head? You did it to yourself! It was so obvious, right? You wanted to get cheated on.”

He’s not making any sense! Nobody wants to get cheated on! You tried to talk over Yeonjun, but he tuned you out. He went on to tell you that his “new girlfriend” was nothing like you and how much better she was than you. Just overall crushing your self-esteem. In the middle of it all, you just couldn’t take it anymore and you slapped him.

“Why come out here and pretend you wanted to apologize!?” You screamed, wiping your tears furiously as he held his cheek. “Since you hate me so fucking much!”

“I was apologizing out of pity.” Yeonjun held his stinging cheek, bright eyes burning a hole through yours. “But, you deserved to know the truth.”

You stared at Yeonjun like he had grown another head. His hostility to you was completely unwarranted! You’d done nothing wrong. There was so much time for him to talk to you about how he felt, but instead, he cheated on you? Now he wanted to play victim?! Was this even the same Choi Yeonjun you fell in love with? The sadness and hurt running through your body were instantly taken over by disgust.

“Wow.” You sighed, throwing in the towel. You couldn’t stand being near him any longer. “I can’t do this anymore. Just, leave me alone from this point on. Lose my number, don’t talk to me at school. You can give my dorm key to one of our mutual friends. I’m done with you. I’m glad I found out what you were really like underneath all the lies.”

“Whatever.” Yeonjun rolled his eyes. “Like I care what you think.”

You turned and instantly headed back in the general direction of the bus stop. You refused to look back at Yeonjun or even try to have the last word. You were slowly becoming numb. From the cold and the confrontation you had just had, you felt everything just go numb. You couldn’t wait to get back to your dorm so you could be alone to process everything that was going on. You couldn’t even cry anymore. All you could do was walk forward, hoping you wouldn’t cross paths with him again.

You decided to call your friends when you got back to your room. They were mutual friends between you and Yeonjun, but you figured you should be the one to give everyone the news. You just hoped they wouldn’t take his side. It’s not that you thought they were the type to do so, but except for Taehyun, everyone had been friends with Yeonjun longer than they had known you existed. But you loved them like brothers, you just hoped they’d still have that same sentiment for you.

You had to throw some cold water on your face, but even then it was still obvious that you had been crying. Oh well, they’re gonna find out anyway. You quickly went to your video calling app, selected the four boys’ contact names, and started a call. Eventually, they all answered, which was surprising because usually one of them was missing. When your screen brightened up with Soobin, Kai, Beomgyu, and Taehyun’s faces, you felt the tears start to come up again.

“Hey!!” Beomgyu greeted enthusiastically, before noticing your sullen face. “Wait, Y/N, what’s wrong? Did someone die?”

All attention was on you now. The call went silent as you took a deep breath. You just had to come out and say it, no use beating the bush.

"I broke up with Yeonjun." Your friends’ faces instantly became laced with shock.

“Huh?” Beomgyu was the first to speak, confusion on his pixelated face.

“Say you’re joking.” Kai pleaded, Soobin shaking his head silently.

“Nope, I’m very serious.”

“I thought you were studying alone tonight?” Taehyun wondered out loud.

"I was… Well, I was supposed to. But when I went to the library, I found out that he’s been cheating on me… With you know who."

Your friends’ faces were unreadable.The boys immediately started talking all at once, trying to get their questions answered, but you couldn’t keep up. Soobin was trying to get them to settle down, but you could tell he wasn't gonna be doing much good in the long run. You could feel a headache coming on so you cleared your throat, raising your voice to hopefully be louder than them.

"He followed me when I ran off to the park where he asked me out. And then he called me boring and clingy and so much other horrible stuff until I just got enough. I slapped him and I left a while later."

“What an idiot,” Soobin responded. “Who does that to someone?”

“I told him he needed to cut it out,” Beomgyu said, catching your attention before instantly realizing his mistake and clapping his hand over his mouth.

“Gyu? You knew about this?” You asked in disbelief.Beomgyu looked away from the screen in shame. This was the second time you were feeling betrayed tonight. This is the worst night of my life.

“I’m sorry Y/N…” Kai responded in Beomgyu’s place. “We all knew… We caught him a few weeks ago…”

“And none of you bothered you tell me?” Your voice came out broken, this heavy feeling of betrayal not even allowing you to feel anger, only heartbreak. “Tyun…? You too?”

“We… We tried to stop him. We didn’t want you to know because we wanted to protect you. He told us he was going to stop and we believed him… We should’ve talked to you.” Your best friend explained guiltily, his voice coming through your phone softly.

“We weren’t trying to hurt you Y/N,” Soobin added. “We all care for you, but we made a mistake. We should’ve told you. I’m sorry.”

“Me too…” Kai and Beomgyu apologized in unison, Taehyun following after.

After that, you told them you were tired and going to bed early. You said you’d have to think about everything you had heard that night and that you’d appreciate some space. Nobody tried to stop you, and that was good because as soon as you were out of the call, you started breaking down again. Nothing was going right for you today. You flopped down onto your bed and cried yourself to sleep that night.

The next day you went to your classes as usual. You heard a lot of whispers, especially when your classmates spotted them holding hands publicly. You pretended it didn’t bother you and went back to your room as soon as classes were done for the day. You might have put on a tough shell in front of everyone, but to tell the truth, you were heartbroken. He had been your first real boyfriend and he did you just like that? He was parading her around with no discretion or shame. He hadn’t even given it 48 hours!

It’s like he never even cared for me at all. You flopped down ungracefully onto the bed, your face squished into your pillows. Setting yourself up for another crying fit, you knew no amount of ice cream or cold water was prepared to soothe your pain. Stuffing yourself into more comfortable clothes, you grabbed your pillow and lay on your side. No sooner than you had done that, you heard a knock at your door.

"Y/N. It's me, Taehyun. I know you said you want space, but…" You perked up a little bit after hearing your best friend's voice, even though you were still upset. “I really want to see you.”

After the initial shock of the situation had worn off, you were mostly forgiving of your friends. It was a sticky situation, and you weren’t sure you wouldn’t have done what they did if you were in their place. They had tried to speak with you when you encountered each other in the halls during classes, but you were so out of it that you sped by them. I guess Taehyun decided he’d take matters into his own hands.

The boys had wanted to come and check on you, but Taehyun, knowing you wouldn't be down to talk to all of them at once, told them he’d go on his own and send their wishes. They talked for an hour after classes and discussed their game plan. They were all upset at Yeonjun. Soobin especially, being Yeonjun’s closest friend, was extremely disappointed. He wasn’t sure individually where his friends were going to go with their friendships with Yeonjun, but Taehyun knew that he was done with him. Taehyun would always choose you over everyone else, no matter what. You were his family, his best friend, his world.

“Please, Y/N? I brought your favorite snacks…” He knocked again, hoping you weren’t asleep. You weren’t, especially after hearing he brought snacks.

After hearing you say 'come in,' he did just that. Being careful to close the door quietly behind him, Taehyun made his way into your room holding a plastic bag. He put it down on your desk before shifting his attention to you. You sat up in the bed, watching him get near. As soon as he got close enough, he wrapped his arms around you, breathing in your scent and sighing deeply. You let him comfort you, knowing that you missed him just as much as he missed you.

Letting go of you, Taehyun sat down next to you on the bed. The silence in the room wasn’t awkward like you thought it would be. It was comfortable and relaxed. You wondered who was going to be the first to say something, and apparently, he was thinking the same thing. You both side-eyed each other until you made eye contact and immediately started laughing. The room filled with your harmonious laughter until Taehyun settled down, choosing to take the first step.

"I'm so sorry," Taehyun said, hugging you again. He always gave the best hugs when you needed them. "For everything. For what that idiot did and for not telling you when we found out. You’re my best friend, you know? I hate when you’re sad."

“I know, Tyun.” You reciprocated his hug, “I forgive you.”

“Do you want to talk about…him? We don’t have to, I just want to give you room to vent if that’s what you feel like you need to do.”

You thought about it. You had pretty much cried everything away, but you knew you could still get worked up if triggered. But you wanted to share everything with Taehyun. Even at your worst. So, you nodded your head before speaking.

"I just feel so defeated, Tyun." You confessed, "I just can't believe him."

"It was very unexpected. Yeonjun was the last person I'd think would be a cheater. I thought he stood for more than that."

"You and me both.." You mumbled bitterly. “How could I have been so blind?”

“Don’t,” Taehyun scolded you lightly, “Don’t talk bad about yourself. He’s the problem, not you. Okay?”

“Okay.” You repeated. “It’s just hard for me not to. After he said I was being clingy and crap it’s hard not to have a low self-view, heh…”

“What exactly did he say to you?”

As you filled him in on what you could remember from last night’s conversation, paraphrasing here and there, Taehyun could only start to see red. He was mad at Yeonjun before, but now he was pissed. He wanted to go find Yeonjun and give him a piece of his mind. How could anyone say that type of stuff about you? The person that would bend over backward for everyone, who was kind enough to befriend a friendless loner like him? You were like Taehyun’s personal angel, and he was not going to let anyone talk badly about you. Especially not someone who claimed they loved you. The next time he saw Yeonjun, he’d be leaving with a black eye. That’s a Kang Taehyun promise.

“Woah Tyun, you’re shaking!” You put your hands over his hands, pulling him out of his thoughts. “You okay?”

“Oh yeah! Sorry,” He reveled in the feeling of your hands touching. God, you made him feel so weak. “I just got really mad there for a second.”

"Well, let's not dwell too much on that then," You suggested, "I don’t want you to get angry over me. I’m glad you care enough about me to get angry though, haha.”

Oh if only you knew… If only you knew.

“Anyway, you said you brought snacks. Let’s watch some movies together or something… Spending time with you is enough to cheer me up in general, but we should at least have some background noise!"

You got up off the bed, Taehyun immediately missing your warmth. Grabbing the bag he had brought earlier, you looked inside to see it was stocked up with all your favorite types of candies, and chips and even had a couple of bottles of your favorite drinks. Rich people surely do come in handy sometimes. Not hesitating one bit, you grabbed a bag of candy, ripping it open before tossing a piece in your mouth.

“Sheesh, save some for me!” Taehyun joked, getting up to pull you back over to the bed, the bag of snacks coming along with you.

"Ah, ya snooze ya lose!” You grinned, “In all seriousness though, thank you so much, Tyun. I appreciate it."

“I’d do anything for you, Y/N.” Taehyun blurted out absentmindedly. “I love you a lot.”

When he realized what he said, he instantly flushed bright red. Your face was warm too, amd the both of you turned away from each other to hide your faces. Of course, you had told each other “I love you” before, but the way he said it just now was… different. Like it was holding a deeper meaning than just a platonic declaration of affection.

“Sorry…” He rubbed the back of his neck, “Was that weird?”

“No no!” You waved him off, quickly reassuring him. “You’re fine.”

Your face still felt a bit hot, but you coughed it away. Debating what to watch with Taehyun, you too eventually settled on a movie you had both wanted to see for a while. You snuggled into each other, eating the snacks and making side comments during the watch. It was like every other time you two hung out, but this time it just seemed like there was more to it.

Ugh, relax Y/N. You just got out of a relationship. Plus, Taehyun doesn’t see you that way. We’ve been friends since we were kids. You’re just… feeling emotional right now. You talked yourself down, denying your feelings. Did you even have feelings? Maybe you had been too blinded by Yeonjun to notice that you may have had a semblance of feelings for your best friend. It didn’t matter, you weren’t going to use Taehyun as a rebound. That was if he even liked you in the first place. You gave yourself a mental slap in the face before going back to watching the movie.

A few hours later, the movie was finally over. You were getting tired, the snacks were gone, and Taehyun hadn’t said a word in minutes. You glanced over at him, seeing that he had nodded off. He looks so pretty… I mean, peaceful. Yeah, peaceful. You facepalmed yourself. What was up with you today?

“Tyun?” You whispered your best friend’s name. He didn’t respond.

You tried nudging him a bit, but from where you were smushed into his side, you couldn’t move much yourself. You whispered his name a few more times, trying to coax him awake. That was until you looked at your clock on the wall and saw that it was around 2 in the morning. Yeah, I’d be a terrible person if I woke him up right now and sent him home.

Deciding to just go with the flow, you curled deeper into Taehyun’s side. You were slowly dozing off, reflecting on the past days… So far you had gotten cheated on, broken up with your first boyfriend of two years, and started feeling a romantic(?) interest in your best friend. It’s like I’m in a novel or something.

“Mm…Y/N…” You were startled by Taehyun talking in his sleep. Usually, only Beomgyu did that. “I like you… A lot…”

You think your face could’ve been the sole cause of global warming with how hot it got after that. Is he dreaming about me? Well obviously, he said my name! He said he likes me! You willed yourself to calm down, trying not to move around too much and risk waking up Taehyun. You wouldn’t know what to say if he opened his eyes at the moment. You’d probably look like an idiot.

Taehyun let out a soft laugh in his sleep. It was one of the prettiest things you’d heard in a while. Man, you were down horrendous. You wondered what he was dreaming about. Maybe you’d ask him in the morning. Maybe you’d ask him out for breakfast. Yeah no, your brain needed to shut off immediately. That was too fast. You were still recovering from a breakup after all.

Finally settling down enough, you closed your eyes. This had been a wild 48 hours for you, with so many discoveries. But one thing was for certain if anything: You were most definitely falling for your best friend.

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