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#as you can see lol
1alchemistart · 1 year
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can we get some more fluffy Damianya? 🥹🥹🫣 you’re absolutely my favorite artist when it comes to your sxf ❤️
i don't have anything particularly fluffy at the moment, but i do have THIS: (read right to left)
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wanted to put the metric ton of comic resources i own in csp to some actual use LOL
bonus:
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papermachette · 1 year
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Train Trip
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whenemmafalls · 10 months
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💜so i’ll watch your life in pictures like i used to watch you sleep and i feel you forget me like i used to feel you breathe💜
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constantvariations · 1 year
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As much as I enjoy Neo, I think she was the wrong villain to drop into Wonderland with the squad. Her conflict with Ruby doesn't thematically lend itself to the current arc of self-doubt and weight of responsibility (plus any resolution of Neo's revenge arc will probably end up with her dead since the writers have no idea what to do with her)
Even if Neo calmed down long enough to somehow communicate her grievance of losing Roman, nothing would really come of it. He was an enemy who died in front of Ruby, not because of her. His death is a footnote at best considering two of her friends died in front of her within like, an hour. So, if Ruby tells the truth of Roman's demise, then there's only two outcomes. Neo either thinks she's lying (which would be dumb. There's literally nothing to gain from it) and keeps attacking her until one of them is dead/left behind in Wonderland or Neo believes her and...???
(Seriously where can Neo go after this conflict is resolved? She doesn't care about Salem's cause, there's no one who cares about her, and she probably can't return to her previous life of crime since she was based in Vale. Neo's entire existence revolves around Roman; take that away and you have even less than a ghost)
You know who would be able to excel in a chaotic world and take advantage of Ruby's mental instability? Tyrian
This guy is able to bypass the barriers that keep someone safe, both literally with his ignore-aura seblance and metaphorically. When the writers aren't playing up the "woohoo wacky crazy psycho" schtick, which gets real old real fast, Tyrian is one of the most adept psych-analysts in the entire show. This guy read Mercury and Emerald like the morning newspaper even though they kept their distance from everyone but Cinder
In her current state, Tyrian could pick Ruby apart petal by petal until not even a bud remains. Or better yet, try getting her to align with Salem
"It's so sad, isn't it? You put in all that work, did all that planning, and Atlas still fell. The relic lost. Your friend died.
"I know you did your best. But it wasn't good enough. You weren't good enough.
"Such a big burden placed on such young shoulders isn't right. You tried so hard to save everyone, but no one has ever tried to save you, have they? Everyone has failed you. Ozpin, Ironwood, Qrow, even your friends down here. Too wrapped up in themselves to notice your struggles.
"But you don't have to do it anymore, Ruby. No more fighting, no more betrayal, no more dying. All you have to do is help Mistress get two itty bitty relics, and it will all be over.
"After all, you didn't ask for this."
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wool-string · 7 months
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Tw// drug use and obsessive/ stalker behavior.
I’ve been thinking a lot about obsessive Kai but the truly good shit is weirdo Kei who uses his ibm to stalk Kaito and watch him while kai is completely oblivious.
Sometimes Kaito feels like he’s being watched but he never sees anyone. Kei who gets so flustered about them making “eye contact” after Kaito happens to look in his ibms direction.
Kaito who slowly starts getting paranoid cause he KNOWS he’s being watched/ followed but he can never prove it.
Kei just watching him go crazy over time. It can go two ways. He becomes a hella drug addict or stops smoking/ drinking completely and gets on medication 😭😭
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theheightofdishonor · 7 months
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Inspired by this post, I kinda wanted to make my own dream cast for a female Only Friends since it seemed so fun. However, it turns out that i'm indecisive (which you'd think I already know) so I mostly just ended up musing different options. I kept a lot of @pranink's casting because they were so dead perfect.
Like Pat and Fah for Ray and Sand, especially Fah for Sand is such an inspired choice because she can pull of that same edge of sincerity that Sand has. And Pat ofc is a master at playing terrible and yet sympathetic characters. (she's a miracle in P.S. I hate you)
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Mew was a bit harder. I love Namtam but I kinda wanna see Piploy too. I couldn't find gifs that got across the energy I wanted but I swear, she'd pull off Mew's slightly condescending sweetness and need for moral superiority flawlessly.
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For Top, Jane Ramida would be my first pick but I think Tu would be really interesting and in this type of role too. I really can't pick between the two.
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I'm keeping pranink's casting of Jamie Juthapich and View for Boston and Nick because it's so ridiculously perfect. Like look at them?
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Boeing was the hardest to cast tbh because there's so many options that would work and yet they'd all give totally different vibes.
If we keep Jane as Top, then i'd want Tu as Boeing. Imagine Tu getting between Piploy and Jane?? It'd be amazing. Also this means we'd get FahTu and that's a dream pairing if there ever was one.
But Ciize would kill it too?? And I also kinda wanna see Milk in this role? It's soo difficult. Pics below so you can see.
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Final decision though is that if Tu is Top, then Milk is Boeing because F4 (You don't understand how convinced I was that Lita was going to fall in love with Gorya and my dismay when she took the far more boring route of liking Thyme. It doesn't make sense, idc if it's adhering to the storyline)
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However, if Jane's Top then Ciize because I know in my heart they'd have excellent chemistry together. And they're both part of SIZZY and I'm slowly accumulating the entire band for this cast.
Gigie for Daddy Dan. I don't think her and View have acted together yet so it'd be a really fun pairing and I think Gigie's got that slightly suspicious vibe that made all of us think Daddy Dan was going to be terrible before he turned out to be hella sweet. (Honestly, Gigie could do Boston too and probably would've been my first pick for it if I didn't fall in love with the idea of Jane J as Boston.)
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Cheum and April were also surprisingly hard to pick, especially Cheum. The mean girl that thinks she's a mom friend? Like there are sooo many options. New Thitipoom and Gun Atthaphan would be easy picks but I also like Mike Chinnarat too and Pod because Pod tends to play sweeter characters and i'd love to see him play a mean girl. Ofc, Gun Korawit would kill it too. April would be Guy Sivakorn (he's incidentally in the last gif here and also I believe in my heart that he'd have chemistry with any of these boys. Plus. he's already partnered with Pod (ps i hate you) and Guy S. (2gether) .
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If I was casting April and Cheum as a pair though Gun Atthaphan and Tor Thanaphob together would also be great and it wouldn't matter which one plays which because they'd both pull off either.
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For Yo and Plug, I kinda like Man Trisanu and Prim Chanikarn. We know Man can do Yo's commitment issues and Prim has that indignant righteousness of someone in their early 20s when dating an older person.
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But- and this is literally just for wish fullfillment- you could keep the genders unswitched and go with Zani Nipaporn for Yo and either Pond or Nanon for Plug. Though honestly, as long as Zani's Yo, any of Gmmtv's younger cast could do Plug.
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Prigkhing Sureeyares for Atom. I'm imagining her in that scene where Atom lies to Cheum about Boston and honestly, she'd be so perfect for it.
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and finally, Jan Ployshompoo for Gap.
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lucienvxnserra · 2 years
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Day 3: Band/Celebrity AU
Lucien Vanserra, talented lyricist and lead guitar player for The Exiled, is coming to the big screen in Why Not Now! 
Vanserra is making his movie debut alongside America’s sweetheart, Elain Archeron. Acheron has been classics such as Dinner Rush, Love Me or Leave Me, and Tomorrow. 
Until recently, both Vanserra and Archeron were in relationships. Archeron announced that she and her longtime boyfriend Graysen Nolan, also a notable actor, had broken up via Instagram Live. Vanserra hasn’t made a public statement, but his longtime girlfriend Jesminda Blake has been notably absent from his social media posts. 
Regardless of their personal lives, we hope to see sparks fly between these two on the big screen! Mark your calendars for August 15th of next year folks! We know we are! 
@lucienweek
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sketchy-tour · 4 months
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I have been working on this piece for AGES aajsdfjkndf AUGH
I just! I just want Wally frog catching with his bestie to exist into the world dang it!!!! The idea of him slowly catching frogs and running straight to Barnaby to show him is one of my favorite things to think about. Now I can beam such an idea into yalls mind with the power of art I spent too much time on
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r0semultiverse · 6 months
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The code at the end of the credits in the FNAF movie spells "COME FIND ME" btw for those without captions.
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slyandthefamilybook · 5 months
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A NON-EXHAUSTIVE BUT NEVERTHELESS EXHAUSTING LIST OF NEO-NAZI AND WHITE SUPREMACIST DOGWHISTLES
since some of y'all apparently need a refresher course. as always, use your judement when deciding if it's a dogwhistle or just innocent usage of a number or symbol
NUMBERS
100% - 100 percent white
109 or 110 - A reference to the 109 countries that have expelled, in whole or in part, their Jewish populations. 110 refers to the hope that more countries will do so, usually specifically the United States. Often posted on its own as a reply, or phrased as a question (e.g. "If you were kicked out of 109 bars it's probably our fault")
1290 - A reference to the Edict of Expulsion of 1290, which expelled the Jewish population of England
13/50 or 13/52 or 13/90 - The supposed statistic that Black Americans make up 13% of the population yet commit 50% or 52% of violent crime, or 90% of interracial violence. Often posted on its own as a reply
14 - The Fourteen Words, a Neo-Nazi slogan
14/23 - A number representing the Southern Brotherhood, an Alabama prison gang
1488 - A combination of the Fourteen Words and Heil Hitler
C18 - Combat 18, a British neo-Nazi group
18 - The letters A (1) and H (8), standing for Adolf Hitler
21-2-12 - The Letters U (21), B (2), and 12 (L), standing for Union, Brotherhood, and Loyalty, the slogan of the Unforgiven, a Florida prison gang
23 - Often thrown up as a hand sign, with two fingers raised on one hand and three fingers raised on the other. Represents the letter W (23), standing for white
271,000 - A reference to the supposed fact that the Red Cross claimed only 271,000 people had been murdered in concentration camps. In reality, that number reported by the Red Cross only came from reports from 13 concentration camps (there were 23 main camps, plus a large number of smaller "satellite" camps)
88 - H (8) H (8), standing for Heil Hitler
9% - A number representing the percentage of the world's population that is white
SYMBOLS
((( ))) - Triple parentheses, or echo. Used by neo-Nazis to call out someone as Jewish
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Iron Cross - A German military decoration
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Sonnenrad (Sun Wheel)
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Reichsadler (Imperial Eagle) - A blocky, art-deco eagle facing to the side. Variants exist, some facing right, some facing left. The Parteiadler (Party Eagle) has a slightly different design. The Reichsadler is usually clutching a wreath with a swastika, although this is sometimes left out to maintain plausible deniability
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Totenkopf (Death's Head) - A symbol used by the SS
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Wolfsangel (Wolf's Hook) - Used as the insignia of various Wermacht (Nazi Military) divisions
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Wolfsangel (horizontal)
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Odal Rune - From the Proto-Germanic "Othala" meaning heritage
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Algiz Rune - A symbol used by German nationalists
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Celtic Cross
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"Broken Sun" Cross
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Arrow Cross - A Hungarian nationalist party that was active from 1935-1945. The symbol has been re-appropriated by modern neo-Nazis
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Valknot
EMOJI
🤑 Greedy Face Emoji - Used to refer to "greedy Jews"
💰 Money Bag Emoji - Used to refer to "greedy Jews"
🥸 Disguised Emoji - Used to refer to Jews because of the enlarged nose
🤥 Lying Emoji - Used to refer to Jews because of the enlarged nose
👃 Nose Emoji - Used to refer to Jews
🙋‍♂️ Raising Hand Emoji - Used for its resemblance to the Sieg Heil salute
✋ Raised Hand Emoji - Used for its resemblance to the Sieg Heil salute
o/ or 0/ - Used for its resemblance to the Sieg Heil salute
🐸 Frog Emoji - A reference to Pepe the Frog, a webcomic charcter co-opted by the alt-right
👌 Okay Symbol Emoji - A hand symbol co-opted by the alt-right. Sometimes said to resemble the letters WP, or White Power
🚪 Door Emoji - Refers to the fact that some of the gas chambers (such as the ones at Auschwitz) had wooden doors, and therefore could not have been airtight enough to contain the Zyklon B gas used to murder prisoners. In reality, many of the wooden doors were either replaced with airtight metal ones, or were made airtight with strips of felt that then deteriorated or were removed
🚿 Showerhead Emoji - Refers to the showerheads used to dispense Zyklon B gas in the gas chambers
⛽ Gas Pump Emoji - Refers to gas chambers
⚡⚡ Double Lightning Emojis - Used for their resemblance to the Siegrune (victory rune) badge worn by members of the SS (Schutzstaffel)
💀 Skull Emoji - Used for its resemblance to the Totenkopf (Death's Head) used by the SS
☠️ Skull and Crossbones Emoji - Used for its resemblance to the Totenkopf (Death's Head) used by the SS
WORDS/PHRASES
6MWE - Six Million Wasn't Enough. A call for further genocide against Jews
AKIA - A Klansman I Am
Annudah Shoah - A mockery of both the Shoah (Holocaust) and the fear of further genocide
Auschwitz had a swimming pool/rec center/maternity ward/etc. - An attempt to diminish the horror of concentration camps by making them seem more like labor camps with amenities
Blood and Honor - A neo-Nazi slogan
Blood and Soil - A neo-Nazi slogan
Blood Libel - Not a phrase used by the far right, but something they often believe in or claim. Blood libel is an antisemitic conspiracy theory stretching back hundreds of years. The original claim was that Jews used the blood of Christian babies to bake matzah (a ritual food eaten on Passover). It has since evolved into images of Jews drinking blood, kidnapping and killing non-Jewish babies, and conspiracy theories about harvesting adrenochrome
Bowlcut - A reference to white supremacist mass-murderer Dylan Roof
Cohencidence - A portmanteau of Cohen (a common Jewish last name) and coincidence. Used to refer to Jewish control (e.g. "All these companies are owned by Jews! What a Cohencidence!")
COORS - "Comerades of Our Racial Struggle"
Cultural Marxism - A conspiracy theory that Jews are intentionally weakening "Western values" in order to make countries like the United States more susceptible to communism. This was called Cultural Bolshevism in Nazi Germany
Da Shoah or Muh Shoah or Muh Holocaust - A mockery of the Holocaust
Day of the Rope - A day referenced in neo-Nazi book The Turner Diaries when all race traitors will be hanged
Degenerate - An insult based on the false theory that bad morals will cause human beings to regress along the path of evolution (to de-evolve). Used to describe groups, individuals, or ideologies
Early Life - A reference to the "Early Life" section of Wikipedia biographies, which will reveal that a person is Jewish or has Jewish ancestry
Every Single Time - Every time something bad happens, the perpetrator is Jewish
Featherwood - A term derived from racist prison subculture. A featherwood is a woman associated with a racist gang
FGRN - For God, Race, and Nation. A Ku Klux Klan slogan
The Fourteen Words - A neo-Nazi slogan. "We must secure the existance of our people and a future for white children"
The Frankfurt School - A school of sociology founded at Goethe University Frankfurt in 1923. Usually blamed as the originator of "Cultural Marxism"
Fren - Internet slang. A diminutive of "friend", used to diminish Naziism and make it seems more harmless. Often used in usernames to describe one's self (e.g. sad_fren_88)
Globalist - A person who desires connection between countries in terms of politics, trade, and travel. Used to scaremonger about Jews destroying countries by removing their borders
Gorillion - A mockery of the number 6 million, being the amount of Jews who were murdered in the Holocaust
Goy - Hebrew for "nation", used by Jews to refer to non-Jews/gentiles. Used disparagingly by neo-Nazis to suggest Jews view non-Jews as beneath them
Goyslop - Unhealthy food that Jews force non-Jews to eat to keep them weak
Groid - A shortening of "Negroid", an archaic terms used to describe Black people
Groyper - A follower of avowed neo-Nazi Nick Fuentes. A reference to the "Groyper" meme, a variant of Pepe the Frog
GSHW - Germany Should Have Won (i.e. won World War II)
GTKRWN - Gas the Kikes; Race War Now
HDKH - Hitler Didn't Kill Himself. A neo-Nazi theory that Hitler escaped Germany and fled to Argentina
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John 8:44 - "You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks out of his own character, for he is a liar and the father of lies." Part of Jesus' rebuke of his Jewish followers
Joo or Jooz - An intentional misspelling of "Jews" in an attempt to bypass censors or automatic content filters
Kate Hikes - A spoonerism of "hate kikes"
Kek - 4chan variation of "lol"
Kekistan - A fictional country imagined by white nationalists with a flag that resembles the Nazi battle flag
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Khazar - A reference to the conversion of a group of Khazars (a Turkic people) to Judaism. Antisemites speculate that the entirity of Ashkenazi Jews are descended from these Khazar converts, and therefore have no historical, cultural, or genetic tie to the Levant. This has been proven false on multiple occasions
Kike - A racial slur against Jews
Lizard People or Reptilians - A conspiracy theory by far-right figure David Icke, claiming that world leaders are really reptilian aliens. Most people who believe this theory believe that the lizard people in question are the Jews
Magic Soil - A protest against the idea that people of one nationality can become people of another nationality simply by living in a country (i.e. "France doesn't have magic soil that turns Africans into Frenchmen")
Nicker - An intentional misspelling of the N word in an attempt to bypass censors or automatic content filters
Ns - Black people (as in the plural of the letter N)
NSDAP - Nationalsozialistiche Deutsche Arbeiterpartei. The Nazi party, but using an acronym that is unfamiliar to most people
NS - National Socialist
Noticer - Someone who "notices" that Jews control the world
The Noticing - A mass movement of people "noticing" that Jews control the world
New World Order - A far-right conspiracy theory about Jews taking control over the world and implementing a single world government. Also used in conjunction with phrases like "world banks"
OFOF - One Front, One Family. Slogan of the neo-Nazi group Volksfront
ORION - Our Race Is Our Nation
Oy Vey - A Yiddish exclamation meaning "oh woe". Used by neo-Nazis to mock Jews
Pattern Recognizer - Someone who has recognized the "pattern" of Jews always being in control
Peckerwood - A term derived from racist prison subculture. A peckerwood is a man associated with a racist gang
Power Level - A memeification of far-right beliefs. The more fascist your beliefs, the higher your "power level"
The Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion - A 20th century Russian hoax claiming to be the minutes of meetings between Jewish leaders discussing how they will take control of the world
Pure Blood - Someone who is a pure member of the white race
Rabbi Smolett - A claim that Jews fabricate antisemitic hate crimes (a reference to actor Jussie Smolett who was accused of doing the same)
ROA - Race Over All
The Goyim Know - A phrase used by white supremacists acting like Jews who have discovered white supremacist activity, and are afraid that they've been found out. Often "The Goyim Know, Shut It Down", which adds the idea that Jews will prohibit any conversation that gets too close to the truth
The Red Cross - A reference to the supposed fact that the Red Cross claimed only 271,000 people had been murdered in concentration camps. In reality, that number reported by the Red Cross only came from reports from 13 concentration camps (there were 23 main camps, plus a large number of smaller "satellite" camps)
Tiny Hats or Tiny Hatted People - A reference to the Kippah or Yarmulke often worn by Jewish men
Reject Modernity, Embrace Tradition - A fascist slogan warning against social progress and calling for a return to a prelapsarian (usually ethnocentric) paradise
Rubbing Hands - A reference to an antisemitic charicature called "The Happy Merchant"
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"To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you're not allowed to criticize" - A quote often misattributed to Voltaire, which neo-Nazis use to decry claims of antisemitism as efforts to silence them. In fact, it's a quote from a neo-Nazi pedophile
Shabbos Goy - A non-Jewish neighbor of a Jew who can be asked to perform acts Jews are forbidden from doing on the Sabbath (e.g. turning of a light or turning on the heat). Used by neo-Nazis to claim someone is a slave to Jews
Sheeeiiit - An over-the-top representation of how "shit" is said with a Blaccent. Often used in memes declaring Black people to be less intelligent
Shekels - Jewish currency (from the Hebrew word for weight, similar to how British currency is called the pound. In reality, the plural of shekel is shkalim). The name has been adopted by the State of Israel for the NIS (New Israeli Shekel). "Shekels" is used by neo-Nazis to mock Jews as being greedy
Synagogue of Satan - An antisemitic term for Jews, stemming from the Chrsitian Bible
They or Them - When used to describe a nebulous group of undefined adversaries, these words almost always refer to Jews
They Cry Out in Pain As They Strike You - An antisemitic proverb claiming that Jews will make false cries of antisemitism while at the same time perpetrating atrocities
Troon - A slur against trans people, particularly trans women
Volk - German for "folk", or "kind". Used by neo-Nazis to refer to white people
We Wuz Kangz - A racist phrase ment to mock Black nationalists
White Genocide - The myth that a group of people (usually Jews) are conspiring to eliminate the white race through various means including immigration, intermarriage, and homosexuality
WP - White Power
WN - White Nationalist or White Nationalism
Wooden Doors - Refers to the fact that some of the gas chambers (such as the ones at Auschwitz) had wooden doors, and therefore could not have been airtight enough to contain the Zyklon B gas used to murder prisoners. In reality, many of the wooden doors were either replaced with airtight metal ones, or were made airtight with strips of felt that then deteriorated or were removed
Zio - An abbreviation of "Zionist". Used derogatorialy by neo-Nazis
WPRWS - 'Weimar Problems Require Weimar Solutions" (sometimes shortened to just "Weimar Problems" or "Weimar Solutions"). Prior to the rise of the Nazi Party, the democratic Weimar Republic was in financial crisis (the eponymous "Weimar Problem"). This was often blamed on the Jews. The "Weimar Solution" is Naziism
ZOG - Zionist Occupied Government, reflecting the belief that the United States government is controlled by Jews
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vault81 · 1 month
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I've finished my Fallout OC Character Sheet! this is my first time making something like this, but I like how it turned out!
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PSD below cut!
Compressed Version!
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puppyeared · 1 month
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littlest furth shop
@laikascomet
#i think i had a little too much fun with this lol#i also wanted to draw road boy and other characters but maybe when they actually get introduced#i do have a sketch of him with a lil chainsaw.. im not gonna be normal when he gets introduced man he looks so sillygoofy#if you squint laika's eye marking is a clover yue's is a crescent moon and mars' is a star ^_^#i wanted to give laika an accessory too but i couldnt think of anything.. maybe a stack of pancakes??#im curious to see the apocalypse side of the story too.. like so far we have an idea of the comet fucking everything up#and im assuming that lead to a ripple effect causing the apocalypse but exactly how bad?? i cant wait to find out#rn im kinda piecing stuff together.. larkspur delivers mail in a beat up van so that might mean all transportation is grounded#the buildings we've seen so far are intact like the observatory and turnip's house but idk if thats the same for big cities#laikas playlist only includes songs downloaded on yue's computer and there hasnt been internet in 20 years.. but radio signals might#still work.. if yue grows his own food we can assume that mass production and distribution also isnt a thing anymore#sorry im a sucker for worldbuilding.. and the furth puns are fun to me. i like to think toronto would be clawronto.. and vancouver wld#be nyancouver.. barktic circle.. mewfoundland and labrador.. canyada....#christ i have so many drawing ideas. willow if youre reading this im so sorry youre probably gonna expect to see a lot of drawings frm me#like. i wanna draw laika in the akira bike pose so sosososo bad. IT WOULD BE SO AWESOMECOOL. ill teach myself to draw bikes if i have to#i also wanted to animate laika leekspin.. man#my art#myart#fanart#laika's comet#laikas comet#laika#mars#yue#furry art#fur#littlest pet shop#lps
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hajihiko · 1 month
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Nice night 🌘
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inkskinned · 3 months
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crows use tools and like to slide down snowy hills. today we saw a goose with a hurt foot who was kept safe by his flock - before taking off, they waited for him to catch up. there are colors only butterflies see. reindeer are matriarchical. cows have best friends and 4 stomachs and like jazz music. i watched a video recently of an octopus making himself a door out of a coconut shell.
i am a little soft, okay. but sometimes i can't talk either. the world is like fractal light to me, and passes through my skin in tendrils. i feel certain small things like a catapult; i skirt around the big things and somehow arrive in crisis without ever realizing i'm in pain.
in 5th grade we read The Curious Incident of the Dog In The Night-time, which is about a young autistic boy. it is how they introduced us to empathy about neurotypes, which was well-timed: around 10 years old was when i started having my life fully ruined by symptoms. people started noticing.
i wonder if birds can tell if another bird is odd. like the phrase odd duck. i have to believe that all odd ducks are still very much loved by the other normal ducks. i have to believe that, or i will cry.
i remember my 5th grade teacher holding the curious incident up, dazzled by the language written by someone who is neurotypical. my teacher said: "sometimes i want to cut open their mind to know exactly how autistics are thinking. it's just so different! they must see the world so strangely!" later, at 22, in my education classes, we were taught to say a person with autism or a person on the spectrum or neurodivergent. i actually personally kind of like person-first language - it implies the other person is trying to protect me from myself. i know they had to teach themselves that pattern of speech, is all, and it shows they're at least trying. and i was a person first, even if i wasn't good at it.
plants learn information. they must encode data somehow, but where would they store it? when you cut open a sapling, you cannot find the how they think - if they "think" at all. they learn, but do not think. i want to paint that process - i think it would be mostly purple and blue.
the book was not about me, it was about a young boy. his life was patterned into a different set of categories. he did not cry about the tag on his shirt. i remember reading it and saying to myself: i am wrong, and broken, but it isn't in this way. something else is wrong with me instead. later, in that same person-first education class, my teacher would bring up the curious incident and mention that it is now widely panned as being inaccurate and stereotypical. she frowned and said we might not know how a person with autism thinks, but it is unlikely to be expressed in that way. this book was written with the best intentions by a special-ed teacher, but there's some debate as to if somebody who was on the spectrum would be even able to write something like this.
we might not understand it, but crows and ravens have developed their own language. this is also true of whales, dolphins, and many other species. i do not know how a crow thinks, but we do know they can problem solve. (is "thinking" equal to "problem solving"? or is "thinking" data processing? data management?) i do not know how my dog thinks, either, but we "talk" all the same - i know what he is asking for, even if he only asks once.
i am not a dolphin or reindeer or a dog in the nighttime, but i am an odd duck. in the ugly duckling, she grows up and comes home and is beautiful and finds her soulmate. all that ugliness she experienced lives in downy feathers inside of her, staining everything a muted grey. she is beautiful eventually, though, so she is loved. they do not want to cut her open to see how she thinks.
a while ago i got into an argument with a classmate about that weird sia music video about autism. my classmate said she thought it was good to raise awareness. i told her they should have just hired someone else to do it. she said it's not fair to an autistic person to expect them to be able to handle that kind of a thing.
today i saw a goose, and he was limping. i want to be loved like a flock loves a wounded creature: the phrase taken under a wing. which is to say i have always known i am not normal. desperate, mewling - i want to be loved beyond words.
loved beyond thinking.
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overlymetaromantic · 1 year
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*slaps Loid like I’m a salesperson showing off a new car*: you can pack so much anxiety into this one man
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