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#at least I really could use the OT pay

skteezcursed · 2 months

Text

❝MY EVERYTHING❞ — c.jh (request)

PAIRING. choi jongho x fem!reader.

SYNOPSIS. jongho has always been your person, as well as you were his. neither of you knew exactly when everything shift from friendship to love, neither knew how madly in love either were. you trusted him blindly. he would move mountains for you. all you both needed to do was to say the three little words.

GENDER. smut. pure fluff.

AU/TROPES. best friends to lover. idiots in love. college au. jongho is a simp.

RATING. R (+18) - MDNI.

WARNINGS. soft sex. cunnilingus. handjob. blowjob. fingering. dry humping/thigh riding. unprotected sex (pull out method and please don’t do this). cock warming (kinda). let me know if i forgot anything.

WORD COUNT. 12k (a little more than you requeste but i did it haha).

NOTES. english is not my first language. jongho is the sweetest. all the boys pariticipate, but mostly WooSanSang. this story is for pookie minnie (@yourlocaljonghoe), hope you like it, sorry for the delay. thank you @bro-atz for being the beta! bye ♡.

IMPORTANT. this is a work of fiction, it has zero intent on portraing how any of the people quoted here are in real life.

CREDS. dividers by cafekitsune ♡

It was ridiculously pathetic, it had to be.

There was no way everything could possibly get better, feel better, just be better because you entered a space, and yet, the rays of sunshine felt like they shine brighter, the wind of early fall could be felt on his skin (as if he wasn't in the closet out space of the library), the hushed conversations quickly muffled as all his eyes could see was you entering the library with your laptop and books in hand, your bag hanging from your shoulder as your hand took some of the hair away from your face.

He knew it was wrong, to feel the things he felt for you, you were his best friend after all, but he just couldn’t control it. You have always been there for him during middle and high school, people used to joke that you two were a couple, he had even helped you get away from unwanted attention, that was probably when it all started, when he started to look at you differently, when your touch started to burn his skin in a good way, when the butterflies in his stomach stopped being from anxiety and started to be because you were close to him, your hand in some part of his body, or simply when your eyes found his, followed or not by a small smile.

It was only when you sat in front of him that he realized how he was staring, feeling his ears turn red but thankfully your attention was mostly focused on your things. Both had different subjects as you two were from different courses, but you always find time to study together, even if just for a bit, a habit you both got mainly thanks to how difficult high school had been.

“How were your classes? I thought you’d be here only later.”

“Last one got canceled,” he tried not to focus on your face, rather at your hands and how you splattered everything at the table, making a small smile appear on his lips. “You know you don’t need to bring your whole house to your classes and such, right?”

“As if you don’t always try to get at least one of these from me whenever we study together,” you laughed before throwing an eraser in his direction which he easily catches, making you roll your eyes. “Anyway, do you mind if someone joins our study session?”

“Someone?”

It wasn’t common for that to happen, mostly because either of you had a project together with someone else, but since classes had barely started, it didn’t really made sense for someone else to enter your little study sessions.

“Yeah, he’s actually my senior, we gonna help each other out in two different projects,” if you had been paying attention, you’d notice how Jongho’s eyes widened slightly and how his Adam’s apple went up and down nervously. He had seen you before with other guys, going out and having fun, but it always caught him off guard when you asked first, since the last time you asked if someone could join, ‘they’ ended up becoming your boyfriend. “He’s super nice I promise you’ll like him! His name is Seonghwa and he’s the sweetest!”

“Oh, yeah,” he tried to compose himself a little so you wouldn’t notice the frown on his face or how slightly annoyed he was. Although he didn’t really expect you to see through his actions or wait for him to finally grow a pair and finally ask you out, it still hurt the fact that everything didn’t seem anything other than a friend caring for another, “is he coming now or?”

“(y/n)?” Both raised your heads as a figured stood beside you, making Jongho hide his jealousy the best he could. The man was one of the most wanted guys on college. Perfect slick back hair, perfect teeth, perfect smile, perfect height, perfect body, perfectly polite, a gentleman if all, and he had his eyes focused on you, as your smile spread widely as his presence was noted. “Hope I didn’t take too long, had to fix a few things with the teacher.”

So, he was supposed to join regardless of what Jongho said? What if he said no? Would you still have had Seonghwa joining in on your session?

“Hey Seonghwa! It’s okay, don’t worry!” You two exchanged quick hugs before you pointed to Jongho. “This is the guy I was telling you about, Jongho!”

“Oh, the famous Jongho! Hello!” Famous?, Seonghwa’s hand was stretched out to Jongho who quickly took it, a polite smile on his lips as Seonghwa took the chair on your side. “I’m so sorry to barge in and wanting to do this fast, I just -”

“It’s okay, I know,” God and you gave him that smile? Jongho quickly lowered his head, trying to focus on the book in front of him, trying to ignore how you and Seonghwa giggled at each other. “- right, Jjong?”

His head quickly raised at the sound of his name leaving your lips, finding both you and Seonghwa staring back at him, before clearing his own throat trying to buy a little bit of time.

“Yeah, sure,” that was the right answer, or at least he hoped, although he knew he would say yes to whatever you asked of him. As he watched your smile widening, he couldn’t help but smile himself, but once your attention shifted to Seonghwa, who also had a big smile, something shifted in him, not going unnoticed by the senior. “I- I have to go though -”

“What already?” You whined making his movements stop for a second, Seonghwa’s eyes not missing the interaction between you and your best friend. “I just got here! We were supposed to go to the diner later on our way back!”

“I won’t be long, I just needed to check all the details,” Seonghwa’s voice was quick, his gaze shifting between you and Jongho, “sorry to interrupt, we talk later, yes? I’ll text you!”

He had your number already?, Jongho cursed himself at that thought, he was your senior, you were doing a project together, of course he would have your number, but why did that bother him so much?

“Ok, we’ll talk more later, I’ll also check with Mingi and Yunho about when you can come over so we can start the project!”

“I’ll try to reason with Hongjoong, but with Eden’s last feedback he got into his own head and -”

“I get it!” You cut him with a smile, Jongho’s eyes observing everything, how your smile would widen, and a small giggle came out at Seonghwa’s words, how his eyes would linger a little longer on your face before falling down and back up. “I’ll text you once I get back from the boys, okay?”

“Yeah sure! Thank you (y/n), you are a life saver and,” as the seniors voice trailed away, Jongho realized he was now the focus of the attention as you eyed him pointing your head towards Seonghwa, who studied Jongho’s reactions, “thank you Jongho, it’s really nice to meet you, I’m happy to have finally met (y/n)’s best friend after all the things she said about you.”

“What did she say?” His eyes traveled down to you who lowered your head, but he could still see the red tips of your ears and the shy smile on your lips before looking back at Seonghwa who had his eyebrows slightly raised at the two of you. Clearing his throat, Jongho turned his attention to the senior. “Either way, it was a pleasure to meet you too Seonghwa.”

The older one just nodded with a small smirk your way before kissing the top of your head and walk out of the library. Jongho’s leg bouncing like crazy under the desk, trying to not demonstrate how that small interaction made his intestines twist, his jealous curiosity trying to figure it out how did you two got so close so fast. It was only when he saw your raised eyebrows that he notices he had been staring, again.

“Okay, spit it out,” you crossed your arms on top of the book, your eyes analyzing his face, “he is nice, you seemed to like him, so why that frown on your head is present?”

“I don’t have a frown,” the bouncing getting worse as he turned his eyes away from you, who quickly kicked his still leg under the table, getting a surprised look. “That hurt,” you just smiled tilting your head making him sigh, “how long have you known him though? You plan on having him at your place, are the guys okay with that?”

A shadow of confusion crossed your face before a wide cocky smile take place as you pointed your pen to him.

“You didn’t listen to anything we talked about, did you?” Jongho sighs and lower his head before hearing you scoff and kick him again, making him eye you annoyed. “You didn’t listen to what you agreed and now you are jealous?”

“I’m not jealous,” although he tried to change the topic, you didn’t bulge, throwing the pen you were holding towards him, making him glare at you before shaking his head. “Okay, maybe I didn’t listen to everything, but that doesn’t mean I’m jealous!”

“If you say so,” the victorious smile you had almost made Jongho say something, but what he really wanted was to kiss that away. So what he was jealous? “Either way, you better control your not-jealous face tomorrow, Hwa and Joong are already -”

“Why tomorrow?” You eyed him shaking your head. “What did I agree to?”

“You’ll find out tomorrow once we arrive at Hwa’s place.”

“You barely know him and you calling him ‘Hwa’ and planning on going to his house and-”

“With you,” you cut him slightly annoyed but still amused, you loved when Jongho showed his jealous and protective side, trying to ignore how your heart was beating out of your chest because of that, “I’m going there with you tomorrow, as you agreed, and while you do what you agreed, me and Seonghwa will work on our projects.”

“And what the hell am I doing there?”

The cheeky smile you sent his way make him swallow hard, before you shake your head focusing back on your books.

“That’s on you for not paying attention and agreeing to something you don’t even know what it is.”

Although he tried his best, he couldn’t hold back a smile at your words and the smile you sent him. He couldn’t tell you he just said yes without thinking because it was you who had asked him. He couldn’t pretend he would say ‘yes’ to whatever it was that you might ask of him. He was down bad for his best friend, that was the truth as much as he tried to hide it.

“Earth to lover boy!” Before he could process, one of the cushions of the couch found his head making Jongho glare at two of his roommates, noticing as they exchanged smiles, San shaking his head, as Wooyoung appeared to be having the time of this life. “What did you and (y/n) do today? You are more distant than usual.”

“Nothing happened, what you talking about?”

Jongho sigh and joined them on the couch, San’s eyes lingered on the youngest one a little longer, but before anyone could say anything, Yeosang appeared on the hall, a towel on his shoulder and his clothes in a basket, a knowing smile on his lips, making all the other frown.

“You are not a good liar Jjong,” Yeosang laughed putting his laundry in as all three waited patiently for the older one to emerge. “I saw you three at the library.”

“Three?”

San and Wooyoung said in unison, but Jongho lips were sealed shut, cursing Yeosang as his smile grew wider. The eldest was an innocent angel most of the times, but he could be even more wicked than Wooyoung when he wanted to.

“Jjong and (y/n) were talking when Park Seonghwa entered the library joining them.”

“Wait, THE Park Seonghwa?”

Yeosang nodded at San’s question, both quick to understand why Jongho was sulking so much, but Wooyoung needed more, he always needed more and Jongho was starting to serious considering killing his best friends at that moment.

“The Park Seonghwa? Perfect, handsome, hot looking guy Park Seonghwa? The one that can have any pussy and dick he wants at any time, just by looking at someone?” San and Yeosang tried to hide a laugh as Jongho’s head slightly turned to focus on the second youngest that was still processing the fact that Seonghwa had been around Jongho and you in the afternoon. “Oh, I’m not condemning (y/n), that dick is probably a 10/10!”

“Woo!”

The other two said the same time Jongho’s fist found Wooyoung’s arm, make the other complain in pain holding his arm.

“What? If Jjong isn’t gonna act he can’t be mad if other guys show interest in (y/n)!” Everyone knew Wooyoung was right, Jongho even sigh holding his head down, the image of you and Seonghwa still carved in his brain. “Look, (y/n) is beautiful, smart, kind, funny, any guy would want a girl like that, you can’t blame Seonghwa for that, but,” all eyes turned to him, a cheeky grin on Wooyoung’s lips before he focused on Jongho, “that doesn’t mean you are out of the race, not until he asks and she accepts being with him.”

“Wooyoung is right,” San said with a smile, following the line of the thoughts Wooyoung was trying to show, Yeosang quickly joining them, also understanding what his friend was saying, all three receiving a head shake from Jongho. “C’mon Jjong, you know Woo is right!” As Jongho lifted his head, the others tried to hide a smile, maybe this time he’d listen and finally ask you out. “Why don’t you ask her out tomorrow? Go to the diner, pretend is a normal day and ask her out, ask her to give you a chance, but check first if her and Seonghwa aren’t together.”

“We are going to Seonghwa’s apartment tomorrow,” a groan escapes all their mouths, but Yeosang was quick to stand up, his thinking face making itself visible for all of them. “What is it Yeo?”

“Know your enemy!” All the others kept waiting for Yeosang to finish as we shook his head seating back down, a smart smile on his lips. “First, do you know why you two going to his house?” Jongho shook his head making the others giggle.

“He was probably too busy staring at (y/n).”

Jongho joked he was gonna hit Wooyoung again, making the second youngest try to hide behind San, making the other three laugh.

“I mean, you are not entirely wrong,” he sighs and noticed the other three waiting for him to explain what had happened, “I mean, once he was there, I tried to ignore how she was looking at him, I mean, have you seen the guy?!” All the other nodded, but Jongho ignored sighing, the image of you smiling and giggling with Seonghwa coming back into his mind like a slap in the face. “So, I tried to focus on my studies, which didn’t really work, until she asked me a question and I just nodded agreeing -”

“Yeah, because you are down bad!”

“A simp of the worst kind!”

“Bet you were just trying not to get caught drooling over her.”

He scoffs shaking his head at his best friends’ remarks, getting out the couch hearing them complaining before turning with a hidden smile.

“Look, I know I’m a simp okay? How could I not be? Not when she looks and acts like that!”

“I mean, she’s not too far behind you, so -”

“What you talking about, San?”

The older ones exchanged looks. It wasn’t uncommon for them to turn to Jongho saying you had a crush on him, that they could tell, but he never really bought that, always thinking they were playing with him, so they had stopped talking about it, even if it was obvious how you two looked at each other whenever you were in the same space.

“The same way you are down bad for her, she is for you.”

Jongho scoffed and the other three rolled their eyes.

“She could have Park Seonghwa on around her pinky! Why would she want me?”

“I agree, I never said she was good in the head,” the face Jongho made brought a laugh to the two older ones as Wooyoung was quick on his feet with his hands in front of him asking for Jongho to wait for him to finish, “look, all I’m saying is that you two are blind when it comes to each other, okay? You may not see the way she looks at you, but everyone else does.”

“Why you think people don’t usually come at her asking for a date?” Yeosang continued, standing up just like Wooyoung, standing in front of Jongho with arched eyebrows. “You may be a teddy bear, but you are fucking scary when you want and the looks you give to any guy that approaches her gives us the chills!”

“She dated before, what you guys talking about?”

“She dated because she was tired of waiting for you and someone else took the initiative,” San joined the other two in front of Jongho making the younger one groan in frustration, “look, we don’t know if (y/n) and Seonghwa are together or something, it may be just a homework thing, Seonghwa is an outgoing person, he talks to a lot of people, it may not be what you think.”

“You didn’t see the way he looked at her.”

“Was it anything like you look at her?”

“What was that supposed to mean Yeosang?”

“Did it look like she held the sun, moon and stars, the air in his lungs, like a ray of sunshine after a gloomy day, or -”

“I don’t look at her like that,” he cut Wooyoung making all the other three leave snarky smiles at that comment. “Do I look at her like that?”

“Only when you know she’s not looking at you.”

San commented putting a hand on Jongho’s shoulder pulling him back to the couch and seating him down by the shoulders, the other three circled him with knowing smiles, maybe that was the last push he needed to finally grow a pair and talk to you about his feelings, feelings everyone knew you also had for him, except himself.

“Fine, what do I have to do?”

He was a coward.

He was the most coward person you could ever find.

In his defense, you ended up going to the house first, so he couldn’t bring up anything before, as originally planned and, once he arrived, you were already working on your project with Seonghwa in the living room as you two guided him to meet with Hongjoong.

He needed someone to sing this ballad he had done, but the lyrics were still a mess, and his voice wasn’t as fitting for the song as was expected, the instrumental was almost done, but without the person to sing it, it felt hollow, broken, exactly like the words Eden used to described one of Hongjoong’s latest works.

If he was honest, Jongho liked the lyrics and the instrumental, he knew the song was incomplete, but he liked it nonetheless, the instrumentals were heavenly, as you were so quick to say once Hongjoong finally showed you what he was working on. That was when all his courage fell into pieces.

“Hongjoong! How is this even better than before the summer break? You are a music genius, don’t listen too much into Eden’s words!”

And you kissed him.

On the cheek.

But it was still a kiss.

Seonghwa’s hands firm on your waist, Hongjoong holding your hand with a shy smile.

You and Seonghwa being way too comfortable with each other never made so much sense until that point. You two were hooking up, or almost at it. His hand always on you, waist, hip, shoulder, arm, you name it! He had lost his chance, again.

“- that’s why Jongho is here, right bear?”

Your eyes lit up to find his, a shadow of something caught you off guard, but he quickly nodded, the shadow no longer there, but still made you question what had happened.

“Yeah sure, but I still don’t know how much of a help I can be.”

“Our little angel said your voice is incredible, we need someone to sing that song Joong is writing.”

Our little angel.

God he just wanted to die at that moment.

All the others noticed something was wrong, but as you stepped closer, Hongjoong quickly moved his chair as Seonghwa pulled you closer to him.

“Look, you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to, (y/n) showed us some of the recordings from your singing and you have one of the most amazing voices I’ve ever heard and I could also use of another music major for this, you’ll have your credit, don’t worry about that, but I want this to be memorable, perfect even, and I think you can help me achieve that if we work together.”

It was a love song.

You could easily tell by the guide Hongjoong had done with the lyrics he had it done, adding the soft melodic instruments the song was incredibly powerful. Jongho’s eyes found yours, they had concern in them, you were blaming yourself for the discomfort he was feeling, probably because you knew he was shy and singing in front of millions – although it was his dream – was still something too far away to grasp, even with the tips of his fingers.

The fact you had showed them the singing videos, how they acted around you, their little angel, it was more than obvious to him that you and Seonghwa were a thing, you were just trying to find a way to let him know. Hell, he knew you loved to hear him sing, maybe he could use that song to let you know how he felt, all the feelings he harbored for you could go into that song, a small letting go present. He could never be with you, because regardless of his friends’ avid points, you weren’t in love with him like he was with you.

In love.

God how something so beautiful can be such a painful thing?

“I’ll do it.”

And that was how he found himself in Hongjoong and Seonghwa’s place every other weekend. He and Hongjoong working on the song, while you and Seonghwa were somewhere in the apartment as he tried not to notice whenever your laugh became too loud or you two became too quiet, trying not to focus on the idea that you two might be in his room while he was -

“What’s up with you today?”

The song was quickly cut out as Hongjoong stared at Jongho, your muffled laugh and scream managing to pass the soundproof situation Hongjoong created so they could work on the music before using the studio the music students were allowed in only for the final version.

“Nothing is wrong, sorry, I’ll focus I -”

Both were cut as steps were felt on the other side of the door and Hongjoong noticed how Jongho’s face fell as your muffled scream was heard along with Seonghwa’s laugh.

“You do know they are just friends, right?” Jongho’s eyes peaked up at the ‘friends’ word, trying to ignore the smirk that appeared on the elder’s face. “God you two are infuriating, Hwa was right, damn it.”

“What you talking about? They are just friends? But -”

“Seonghwa is in a relationship,” Jongho stopped talking at that, waiting as Hongjoong sighed raising his eyebrows, “me and him are together, we call (y/n) our angel because otherwise we wouldn’t have happened.”

“So… All of this… What -”

“You two are just as idiots as we were,” Hongjoong got up from the chair getting closer to Jongho that was still processing the information, “your voice wasn’t the only reason why we made her talk to you to participate, but also because we wanted to be sure you were just as into her as she is into you.”

“Oh,” he said as he tried to ignore the image of Wooyoung saying ‘I told you so’ popping into his mind. “How can you be sure?”

“Because she told us,” at Jongho’s shocked eyes Hongjoong laughed loudly before going towards the computer playing the song they have been working on for the past month, as it came to an end, the elder’s eyes found the younger ones at the ground. “Did you write those parts thinking about her?”

“That obvious?” Jongho sat down on the couch looking into the sheet of paper with the lyrics, missing the way Hongjoong eyed him. “She’s my best friend Hongjoong, I- I can’t fuck this up and lose her, what if -”

“Can I suggest something?” Jongho’s eyes lifted to meet with Hongjoong’s analytical ones, a simple nod was all he managed to give in response. “Tomorrow you two leave early, you take her back to your place, we’ll talk to Yunho and Mingi and make them find a way to keep her away from the house, you get your roommates out and shoot your shot, but do it properly, she deserves something great after all the time you made her wait.”

Having only Wooyoung, Yeosang and San up his ass about you was nothing compared into having Hongjoong, Seonghwa, Yunho and Mingi as well. Unlucky for him, Seonghwa easily got one of his roommates’ numbers, since he already had Yunho and Mingi’s, and it was easy to make a group chat which made Jongho almost killed Wooyoung for the nth time every time he saw the group chat name pop up.

wooyoung @ please get the baby laid okay, so san is taking care of the fort with yeo I’m almost done with the food, who is coming to pick us up?

yunho @ please get the baby laid I will, if hwa and joong do it she’ll suspect

mingi @ please get the baby laid she already suspects something is up bc we said she cant come home

yunho @ please get the baby laid yeah, bc your excuse was shit

hongjoong @ please get the baby laid it was a horrible excuse, but since it was mingi she let it slide

seonghwa @ please get the baby laid also bc jjong distracted her with books and a trip to the cafe

wooyoung @ please get the baby laid so I made dinner for nothing?

san @ please get the baby laid ignore him, we ready, we leaving the food in the oven

yeosang @ please get the baby laid yunho don’t forget to grab the chocolate bouquet on your way over!

yunho @ please get the baby laid I wont, I’m on my way!

“Are you cheating on me?” Jongho never locked his phone a put it away as fast as in that moment, making you raise your eyebrows and open your mouth slightly. “Who is she? Is she prettier than me?”

“Of course not, you are the most beautiful person to walk on earth,” that wasn’t a lie in his view, it was also something he would casually drop at you from time to time, you knew that, but still, always surprised you, awakening the butterflies in your stomach you tried to always keep dormant. “I may be an idiot but I’m not that idiot to be cheating on my favorite girl in this world.”

Ever since yesterday Jongho decided to be bolder, to show more of his true intentions to you, his true feelings, and he was loving every hint of pink and red he could see on your face and ears. It almost made him realize that, maybe, this may work. That the others were right and you both felt the same thing, and God he wish it would be true.

“You can’t say shit like that Jjong!”

“Why not? It’s not a lie.”

Maybe, but you playing with my feelings is a problem, you wanted to scream that at him. Cursing him over and over thanks to all the things he had awoken at the same time in you since the day before once you two left Hwa and Joong’s apartment. You couldn’t lie and pretend you weren’t enjoying the attention, not that you liked the fact that Seonghwa and Hongjoong forgot to tell both of you they had a date with tickets they bought a few weeks prior, or even the fact that Mingi said you couldn’t go home until late at night, you knew he probably would have someone over and wouldn’t want you or Yunho to hear him, so you were more than happy when Jongho said his roommates wouldn’t be home and you could stay there as long as you wanted.

You just didn’t expect all the flirting he was doing, but you would never complain.

“People may think something else,” you focused on your drink and the three hard cover books he bought for you, your fingers lingering a little longer on the titles, his eyes focused on you, observing, trying to get any hint you may give him, “besides, I’ve seen some girls looking at you while we were picking up the drinks, one of them looks really pretty and your type.”

It hurt you to say these, but he was your best friend and nothing more could ever happen, or you may lose him. You didn’t care if Seonghwa, Hongjoong, Yunho and Mingi kept saying you were just running away, taking the easy way out, the cowards way, the thought of possibly losing Jongho was too much of a risk, you preferred to have him as a friend than nothing at all, all because you couldn’t help yourself on falling for your best friend.

“I don’t want them though,” the form he said it, so nonchalant caught your attention, making you eye him curious, trying to hide the hurt that you felt inside, the idea that he may have someone. You knew he had been with other people before, but he never really introduced you to them. Once you realized that you tried to move on, started dating someone, but there was only one man that made you feel wanted and loved, and that man was sitting in front of you drinking his americano. “I already have someone in mind, it would be mean to get involved with someone if I have another on mind, no?”

The entering of the knife was quick, but the twist was tortuously slow, the final blow being the smile he gave you. The smile you loved so much that you had only seen directed to you, but now he’s using it to talk about someone else, someone that it wasn’t you.

“Who is she?”

“You know her,” he chuckled at your reaction before continuing, “but I don’t think she sees me like that much, although the guys say I’m just over thinking it, that she definitely likes me and -”

“She’d have to be crazy not to like you, baby bear,” your hand reached his over the table, it didn’t matter if your heart bled, all you ever want is to see Jongho happy, even if it’s not with you. “You are one of the most incredible human beings I’ve ever met, whoever has your heart will be forever loved and I envy that.”

At his raise of eyebrows, you quickly realized what you had said and tried to pull your hand away, but his fingers wrapped around yours, intertwining your fingers, your eyes quickly went to the girls you saw talking and eyeing Jongho earlier, finding their eyes on your hands before moving away, making a victorious smile play on your lips.

He was still yours for the time being and that was enough.

“What got you all smiley?”

“Nothing,” you said quickly trying to pull your hand away, but his grip was strong but careful around your hand, just like everything he did regarding you, “baby bear, it’s nothing, can I have my hand back?”

You giggled at the pout he gave you, the puppy eyes staring around you two before resting on you again trying to understand what had happened. Your hands quickly found your drink as so did his. While you couldn’t hold a smile while drinking, he couldn’t help his cute little pout at what you had done.

“Want me to be your wingman?” He questioned after a while, making you eye him confused as his eyes fell on your hand that was enveloped by the warmth of his hands not long prior, a small guilt filing your insides. “That’s why you dropped my hand, right? So, show me who he is, I’ll be nice, I promise.”

“It’s not that Jjong,” you said quickly as soon as he stopped, his eyes had a different shine, one that you had seen at the library a few weeks ago when Seonghwa appeared to ask Jongho to sing to Hongjoong’s song, for a second you thought you had made Jongho jealous, and you felt good for a second, until he wanted to leave and you panicked. The control he had over you was surreal and all you wanted was to take his hand on your and kiss it tenderly in front of everyone, “I dropped your hand because…”

“(y/n) it’s okay, I promise I -”

“I have someone in mind too,” you said it so quickly your mind couldn’t follow through, putting a hand in front of your mouth before focusing on your drink, “he also has no idea and, I’ve been into him for a while now, I tried to make him see it, but apparently he doesn’t see me as anything other than a friend and that’s okay, and since we are in a public place, if the girl you have eyes on sees us, it may ruin it for you so I-”

“Wanna go home?”

“You know I can’t go home.”

“Weren’t we going to mines?” His smile was soft; the shadow of a moment ago disappeared. Jongho was good at hiding, it didn’t take you long to realize that, so you nodded getting your coffee as his hands took your books putting on the bag with some other things you bought at the book section. “We can talk about it when we arrive, will that be okay?”

“We don’t have to Jjong.”

The truth was, you didn’t want to hear him talk about the girl that caught his attention, you wanted to be that girl. Once you finally stood up from the table, his right hand found your left making you gasp in surprise on how hot they were despite the ice americano he was having it. That was one of the things you liked the most about Jongho, how warm he always was, how his warmth would always find you and embrace you, always accompanied by the smell of his cologne. Which was one of the reasons you always loved when fall started, because he would lend you some sweatshirts and jumpers with his smell, even when you didn’t ask, he always had them.

As he guided both of you back to his apartment, you allowed yourself to feel the warmth of his hand and body next you whenever you could, cursing at every heavy wind that hit your face taking his cologne and warmth from you, making you involuntarily hide behind him, making him chuckle every time, until he stopped turning to face you. His perfect cupid’s bow just a few centimeters from you, as the wind hit again, he pulled you closer, your hands going around his waist under the coat he had opened, your face hiding against his chest, his cologne clouding your thoughts, but little did you know the effect that had on him.

Seonghwa and Yunho were right when they said you might say you were into someone depending on the situation, and if you did, this guy it would be him. The fact you couldn’t look him in the eye while saying those things, the reaction you had to the girls that flirted with him earlier noticing your intertwined fingers and leaving, how happy you were at that, how right your hand felt in his, the small hurt he saw in your eyes and face at the thought of Jongho liking someone and this person seeing them together. How could he have been so blind for so long? How could you not see how he acted around you?

“Here,” he said stepping a little away from you, both highly aware of how your hands still lingered on his waist, but you couldn’t bring yourself to move away, if he could, he would kiss you right then and there, “we can’t have you catching a cold and stopping to hide behind me everything a wind blows, so…,” his hands swiftly took the scarf off his neck placing around your own, covering your lips and nose, only your eyes visible to him as he took your hand back making you both get back into walking, “we almost home, so we won’t be cold for long.”

You wanted to stop him, to make him hug you again, to feel him close again, but all you did was follow his steps as you started to see the outline of his apartment in the distance. Although you knew none of his roommates were gonna be there, you caught yourself craving Wooyoung’s food. Maybe, just maybe, you could stay until they come back and ask him to make you something, that way you could also spend more time to Jongho.

You have been to his apartment multiple times, but something felt different, probably because you finally realized he might get a girlfriend, that you had lost him for good, because no one in their right mind would let him go, only if they were insane. Which was exactly what you were as you noticed he may never be yours because of how much of a coward you were.

As the sound of the lock along with the turning of the lights made you raise your head, you stopped dead on your tracks. There was a fort blanket in the living room, you could smell Wooyoung’s food – although you couldn’t see it – and you noticed as Jongho stopped behind you, his breathing on your ear as one of his hands found your hip and the other your arm squeezing both lightly, making you gasp.

“Surprise,” the chuckle made you wake up and eye him curious, only receiving a small smirk in response as he headed to the kitchen, your steps were cautious, there was no reason for this to be happening, nothing bad had happened. As your feet led you to the living room, you found fairy lights all over the place, the tv on playing an ambient music, “(y/n), come eat!”

Instantly, Wooyoung’s food filled your lungs and you drooled at the thought of what he had made and why he had made dinner. Were any of the boys in a romantic date before you arrived and didn’t have the time to pull it down? But then why would Jongho tell you it was a surprise? As you finally reached the kitchen, you found a banquet at the island, making you scream a little and jump, making Jongho chuckled before start preparing a plate for the both of you before heading back to the living room. The fort blanket already awaiting the both of you, a small memory from the time you two were children.

For a moment, both of you just enjoyed the meal Wooyoung had made, reminding you to thank him, which made Jongho said to also thank San and Yeosang for building the fort. You wanted to ask him then and there what that was all about, but something stopped you. Maybe it was the way he was enjoying the meal, the comforting silence between the two of you. How your knees touched on occasion but none of you had a care in the world if that kept happening, ignoring the electric shocks that ran through both your bodies.

Jongho changed the ambient sound to one of your comfort shows, the coffee table quickly pushed to the side with both plates on top along with two empty bottles of soju. You two were sitting with the backs on the couch, his left arm lazily hugging your shoulders, the tips of his fingers feather like along your arm, sometimes playing with your hair when you rested your head on his shoulder.

Trying not to think how warm he was, how close he was, how drunk on his cologne you were, how deep in love you were with your best friend. As you moved, Jongho swiftly took your legs putting on top of his, holding them in place as him right hand burned your skin despite the jeans you wore. Ignoring how he pulled you closer, only a little more and you were on his lap, his left arm still enveloping you, caressing your left arm and pulling you closer from time to time as your head on occasion would fall a little more. If you only had the courage, you could easily kiss the crook of his neck, his cologne filling your lungs, it wasn’t like you needed anything more to live if you had him.

When the second episode finished your head was already heavy, barely noticing as Jongho tried to untangle the two of you, a groan escaping your lips making him laugh before kissing your temple, being careful as he started to make some distance between you two. What he didn’t understand was that the groan was for nothing more than the idea of having him far away. His warm, cologne, the homey feeling you had with him whenever you two were together. You now realized what you were going to miss the moment he asks out the girl he has eyes on, you were going to lose him, even if he was never actually yours.

You watched as he took the plates on his hands. The third episode had started, but all you could do was stare at the spot Jongho was prior. All you could feel was how your skin burned and body ached to be closer to him again. His flirty demeanor had got to you. All the feelings you fought so greatly every day for the past years to keep low, he brought to the surface.

“(y/n)?” Your eyes turned to the spot Jongho had left, finding a chocolate bouquet before you could see him coming back to the fort. The smile on your lips made his gummy smile becoming more visible. “I was supposed to give this to you on the way out, but couldn’t wait,” his shy smile had returned as you took the chocolate bouquet in your arms, fingers trying to see all the chocolates that were there before eye him with startled eyes, “too much? Too much, right? Okay, sorry I -”

“Jjong, what is all of this?”

“What you mean?”

You sigh putting the bouquet down.

You wanted to say it wasn’t too much, not really, but with everything he was doing, it was. He was playing with your feelings, even if he didn’t know about them. The talk from earlier came back to you, maybe he was trying to make you feel better? Maybe, Mingi, Yunho or Hongjoong had said something to him about your crush on him without saying your name and now he wanted to cheer you up?

A small chuckle left your lips, because that’s definitely something Jongho would do.

That’s one of the reasons you love him so much.

Love.

You were in love with you best friend, all it took was for him to flirt with you openly for a day for you to admit that. You sigh as your eyes returned to the bouquet to focus on him again, a small pout on his lips. He thought you hated it everything he did, which made you hate yourself at that.

“You said surprise, but nothing happened for us to have a movie fort blanket night and the boys not being here…,” you noticed how his head focused on the way your hand enveloped his own, the warmth not only staying in your hand as his eyes found yours. “Jongho, what’s this? If this is yours and the guys’ way of saying it’s okay for the guy I like not to -”

“Do you have any idea how beautiful you are?” His eyes were focused on you, making you suddenly feel self-conscious, trying to shy away but at the same time wanting his attention on you, wanting the way he was looking at you. “I don’t mean on the outside, of course you are beautiful on the outside, but I meant as a whole, you are beautiful, incredible, talented, intelligent, kind, and so much more that I could spend the rest of our lives telling you about it,” you gulped but didn’t move away as Jongho approached you slightly, testing the waters, “I’m sorry it took me too long to notice, I’m sorry for being a coward and take too long to say it, but -”

He cut himself looking to both your hands. You weren’t responsive; you were a statue watching him declare his love for you, he was questioning himself again, all the signs he had seen earlier vanished from his mind, the courage to finally tell you his feelings evaporated like water in a hot day, he started to sulk in his seat, mad at himself, as he felt your hand touch his cheek, an electric current going through his body full speed as he raised his eyes to meet your halfway.

“Jjong, please...”

You couldn’t finish, because you too were a coward.

You loved him, but did he love you too? Was that his way of confessing that he wanted you just as bad you wanted him? For just as long as you wanted him?

“I love you, (y/n),” he saw the moment your breathing stopped, how your hand fell from his face, your warmth going away with it, your eyes a mix of feelings that he couldn’t follow, “you are the one I like (y/n), you are the one I love.”

It was like your brain stopped functioning, your eyes watered and Jongho panicked for a second before holding his hand that was going to wipe your tear away.

“Please don’t joke about this, not about this, Jjong.”

“I could never joke about my feelings for you, (y/n), ever.”

The small smile was all he needed before leaning closer to you, slowly, watching your every reaction, expecting the denial he always thought he’d find if he confessed his love, but instead you met him halfway. A simple and tender touch of lips made both of your bodies combust. Eyes meeting for half a second before he pulls you closer to him again and you obliged to his wants, because kissing him was all you had on your mind since you were thirteen.

His hands were firmly on your hips pulling you to him as you were quick to put each leg on either side of his left leg, your hands messing up his hair, the kiss was hungry, urgent, just like his hands as he explored your back, ass and thighs. None of you cared about breathing, it was an inconvenient at best, you could live without air, but you couldn’t live without feeling each other’s lips anymore.

You whined as his lips disconnected from your mouth finding your jaw, teeth sinking into your skin as you pulled Jongho’s hair, the moan reverberating on your skin. Your whole body ignited at that sound, wanting to hear it more, you needed to hear it more. As you let your body weigh down, you felt his thigh under you, God how you imagined this scenario so many times before. Instinctively you started to move your hips slowly against his thigh, making him stop kissing your neck and look up at you.

One of his hands hugged your thigh, the other firm on your waist as your movements became more preeminent. As your head finally lowered finding his hungry eyes observing your features as you rocked your hips on his thigh, embarrassment quickly flooded you, making you stop and try to move away from him. Instead of letting you, his hand on your thigh found your back and pulled you closer to him.

You could feel the pool in between your legs, the arousal making you uncomfortable, begging you to continue, but something was holding you back, and you couldn’t stare at Jongho in the eyes. As his arm enveloped your waist, his left hand found your face, fingers lightly on your chin making you meet his eyes.

The hunger was still there, the lust, but they were tender, careful, the effect of feeling secured in his embrace along with the eyes of admiration and understanding made your whole body burn as he pulled you closer, locking your lips again. It was calm, almost experimental. Your arms were quick on his shoulders as your hands found the nap of his neck, one of them playing with his hair as the kissed deepened.

It was only when you felt his hands on your hips guide you across his thigh and the friction you felt making you moan in between the kiss, that you forced the break eyeing him curious. The smirk was present, but it wasn’t cocky, it was wholesome.

“Am I dreaming?”

He chuckled as he pulled you closer to him by your hips, moving them so gently on top of his thigh as he flexed them, thanks to the clothes the movement wasn’t very perceptive, also because you buckled your hips up as you felt his muscle against your clothed core, making him chuckle a little more.

“So, you’ve dreamed about me?”

“Jjong, please…,” his hands again moved your hips against his thigh making you bite your lip but not break eye contact this time. “I may have had a few dreams about you yes.”

“Did I made you feel good on them?” You nodded as his hands pulled your hips down, flexing his thigh as you were now in control of your own hips. “I’ve had them too, you know?” Your half-lidded eyes causing his pants to be an even bigger bothersome as a small moan left your mouth. “We don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

“Jjong?”

“Yeah?”

“Shut up and make me feel good, yeah?”

“Anything for you, my love.”

With that his mouth lashed back into yours as he guided your hips across his thighs. As you couldn’t help but keep your mouth open from the stimulation, his mouth found your neck, going all the way down to your chest, open mouth kisses being left on the open cleavage, eyes on you at every single movement he made.

You were so busy riding his thigh that you barely realized his hands were no longer on your hips as one of them went under your shirt, the tips of his fingers tingling against your burning skin as his other hand had a grip on your thigh. The build up on your lower stomach making it harder for you to concentrate as his hands grabbed those both parts of your body, you were sure your waist would have the imprint of his hands.

“Oh God, please-fuck,” your breathing was hollow, your legs ached but you couldn’t stop, it was too close to grasp, your fingers digging onto Jongho’s shoulder as you felt his lips on your neck again, his hand on your thigh pulling it more apart making your whole body weigh rest on his thigh as he flexed it once again, making a cried moan leave your lips, “fuck, Jjong, so good.”

“Let it go sweetheart, I’m here, this is just the first of the night,” you shot your eyes open finding the smirk present and he quickly gave you a peck on the lips, hands back on your hips as he kept making you move them, “use me for now, I wanna see you come undone on my thigh, please.”

It was the ‘please’ that made you lose it.

Your whole body trembled as you pulled Jongho’s face close to you as his hands gently moved your hips running you out of your high as your swollen lips let go of his own. He was glowing under you, his eyes were shining like a stary night and all you wanted was for this to never end, if it were a dream so you would never wake up.

As his hands came back into roaming your body, you came to your senses.

You had just cum by riding his thigh.

He saw the small panic look in your eyes and pulled you closer to him, kissing your lips as he lifted you up, his right leg quickly joining the left under you as you straddled him properly. Once again pulling you down on him, making you feel his bulge under you, making you both moan before making eye contact.

“This is real.”

“As real as it can be sweetheart,” he pulled you closer again kissing you tenderly as you rocked your hips against the outline of his cock, a moan escaping both your mouths as you allowed your weight down on his lap. “Are you sure you wanna keep going?”

“Do you?”

“I asked you first,” his small smile was back as you backed away from him, although you never stopped moving your hips, feeling him getting harder and harder under you, closing his eyes trying to control his breathing making you smile. “Sweetheart, I love you, but I can’t keep going unless you tell me you want me to.”

“I thought I said I wanted you to make me feel good, baby bear.”

You smile as your hands went to the back of his head playing with his hair pulling slightly making him groan, your smile widening at that as his hands gripped your ass squeezing it harshly making you moan.

“Guess I shall make your dreams come true then.”

“Please do.”

He smiled as in a swift move he turned you both and put you on the couch, your hips on the edge with him between your legs. Although you said it was okay, his eyes still lingered on your face as he unbuttoned your jeans sliding them away from your body before tossing them somewhere in the fort. Your thighs shut as his hands went to your knees, gently putting force to see if you were having second thoughts.

Why was he so thoughtful and careful?

You decided that after this, was your time to make him feel good, but right now you wanted his head between your thighs. At that you spread your legs, a mix of embarrassment and confident took hold of your body as you watched him take in your soaked panties. His eyes finding yours once again and you nodded, feeling the tingle in the base of your stomach coming back.

His fingers taking the last piece of fabric between you and his mouth, ever so gently, still watching every single one of your reactions. The truth was, neither of you could believe this was happening, it all felt like a dream, but it was real. It was real and Jongho would do his best for this to be the best night of your life.

As your panties finally met the ground, his eyes focused on your dripping cunt as you held the urge to close your legs, but he noticed the twitch, his focused was on you as he slowly and gently held your legs open, his lips kissing all the way to your left knee to your mid-thigh, before closing in on your hip, looking at you one last time, finding pure lust in your eyes, making him smile as his lips finally met your throbbing clit.

The gasp came in sync with the jolt of your hips, but Jongho was faster holding them down with a smirk that made you roll your eyes. He was having fun with all your reactions; you couldn’t pretend you weren’t enjoying it as well seeing the smudge grin on his face. Before you could say anything, his lips found your clit again, but this time, kitty licks were added to it, making you squirm a little as he held your hips down.

He licked a long stripe at your dripping cunt before starting to suck on your clit, making your back arch as you moaned loudly, your right hand quickly finding his hair pulling it harshly as you were still a little dazed from your previous orgasm. Your hips quickly moving trying to build more friction as Jongho lifted your left leg over the couch, holding you open with his right side as his left hand left your hips, one finger quickly prying at your entrance as he sucked in on your clit.

Once his face left your cunt, two fingers quickly entered you, as he curled them inside, a small kiss was left on your clit making you jolt and whine before forcing his face back into your throbbing bud of nerve as his fingers nimbly worked you up to your second orgasm of the night. You left hand finding your breast and squeezing it just enough to help you build the pressure.

“Fuck Jjong, keep going like this, fuck!”

“You like my fingers or my mouth better?”

As you didn’t answer he slowed down his movements making you groan.

“Both, fuck, please! I can’t choose, Jjong, please, I like both!”

“Good girl, so, cum on them, please sweetheart.”

Your hand pulled more of his hair making the groan reverberate through your body from your clit. God how he knew how to use his mouth and fingers! As you felt your second orgasm coming your legs started to shake and Jongho picked up the pace, his fingers curling inside of you are he went back to suck on your clit.

You cursed before a screamed moan leave your lips, legs trembling as your whole body felt heavy, limbs falling into the couch as he helped you out of your high. Closing your legs gently before getting up and to get you some water and a wet cloth. As he did that, your eyes found the tent in his pants, holding his wrist, his attention quickly falling back on you.

“Where you going?”

“Getting you some water and something to clean you up.”

“Are we already done?”

He smiled at your question. You were clearly fucked out, and yet you forced your legs out of the couch, eyes focused on him.

“Use your words sweetheart, what do you want?”

He squatted in front of you, his lips and nose glistering with your juice, and God you wanted to feel them again, and so you leaned in catching him by surprise at first before he cages you against the couch, your legs opening again as stood there in between them, kissing you like his life depended on it, while his hands held you like you were glass. A small peck was left on his lips as one of your hands held his face, the thumb lingering on his perfectly swollen cupid’s bow lips, a smile forming in yours.

“I don’t want this to end, please Jjong, please I need you, I need all of you.”

“Fuck-” he murmured under his breath as he looked down at your cunt, at the mess you had made on the couch, the mess he helped create. His eyes lingered on the tent in his pants, how his hard leaking cock was already painfully present and all he could think about was you and how you’d feel around his cock. “I’m not fucking you on the couch.”

“Then take me to your room,” you caged him with your legs on his waist and arms on his neck, his laugh brought a light smile to your lips, God you loved that man, you loved every little piece of him, and you wanted him so badly right now. “Stop being such a gentleman, I know you want this as much as I do.”

“One of us need to keep our minds clear.”

“C’mon baby bear, please!” You whined with a pout making him smile as his eyes focused on your face, his hands lazily on your thigh and waist, you knew you had him. “I’ll be good, promise.”

“I just still think I’m dreaming?, I guess?”

“You are not,” you laughed kissing him gently on the lips, feeling him wrapping his arm around your waist as grip your thigh tighter, “you know how I know this isn’t a dream?”

“How, oh my oh mighty?”

You hit his shoulder making you both laugh before play with his hair, pulling it out of his face, a small smile plastered on both your lips.

“Because this is so much better than any other dream I had of us.”

At the raising of his eyebrows, you giggled pulling him in for another kiss.

“So, we never actually had sex on any of your dreams?”

“That’s classified information, only to be revealed after the act.”

You laughed loudly as he rolled his eyes to the back of his head, but gasping at the sudden yank he gave to your body, making both arms and legs hold him tighter, one hand firmly on your thigh as his other arm, held you by the waist making you giggle as you both left the fort heading towards his room. Your lips finding his neck kissing every single space you could, feeling his fingers sink more into your skin.

As he let you on to the bed you finally let go of him, his hands quick to take off your shirt as yours worked swiftly to remove his own shirt and pants, and soon, the only piece of clothing either of you had was the boxers he was wearing. Precum staining the fabric already stretch out because of how hard Jongho was. Your eyes fixed on his boxers, he was thick, a little longer than usual, but thick.

You barely noticed his fingers finding your jaw until the moment he lifted your head to face him, a smirk plastered on his lips as he noticed your eyes lingering on his body. You had seen him without a shirt before, you know he is built, he just preferred to hide his muscles and you didn’t mind that one bit. If not showing his physic he already had a line of women and men after him, if they could see him like this, it would multiply by the hundred.

No, this was all for you.

He was yours.

He loved you.

Just like you loved him.

Your eyes fall to his boxers again with a questioning look, making him chuckle before taking those out. If you thought your mouth was watering, now it had truly become a waterfall. He was a little longer than average, but he was so thick. You reached your hand to touch him, but his hand quickly stopped you.

“C’mon Jjong, let me help.”

A simple nod and you started to work on him, the precum quickly being used as part of lubricant as your lips found the red leaking head, a small kiss left there, just like he had done with your clit on the couch not long ago. Your knees quickly finding the ground as you were quick to lick his shaft, the moans that left his mouth only igniting the fire inside you.

Your mouth and hand worked skillfully on him, his hand tangled to your hair helping guide the pace, every so often you’d look up only to meet him with his eyes closed and mouth open, small moans leaving his lips as you worked him up. A smirk always present as you noticed the reaction of your body to your hands and mouth on his cock.

“(y/n),” he was breathless and although you raised your head towards him, your hands didn’t stop moving, “fuck, your mouth is so perfect, you are perfect.”

You took him into your mouth once again. You knew he was close. He started to thrust into you, controlling more of your head movements, he wasn’t gonna last long. You felt him empty himself on your throat the same moment the most beautiful moan you ever hear came out of his lips, you took it all in, swallowing quickly as he pulled you in for another kiss.

Your legs were still trembling from earlier, but it didn’t matter as held your body close to him.

His taste on your mouth, your taste on his.

“Jjong, please.”

You whined against his lips as he nodded guiding you to the bed. The mattress sinking under you as you laid on your back, your legs open so he could fit in between them, his cock already getting hard again as he pumped himself up.

“You sure about this?” You nodded as he reached for the drawer, already knowing he was looking for a condom, the change in expression was all you needed to know. He didn’t have one. “Fuck, (y/n) I-”

“I trust you.”

You pulled his face to you, kissing him gently before locking your legs around him.

“Are you sure?” You just nodded before he kissed you again. “I’ll pull it out.”

In all honesty all you wanted was him inside of you, to feel him fully, nothing else mattered.

You felt his tip at your entrance, his eyes went to you once again, doubt filling them up.

“Jongho, I’m not a virgin, I’ve had sex before.”

Despite the words, your tone was serene. You knew him well enough to know he was scared to hurt you, the thing was, you knew he never would.

“But this is your first time with me, and I intend to make it the most pleasurable to you, I don’t care about anything else but that.”

His lips found yours once again. As his tongue slipped into your mouth you felt him stretching you out, a moan leaving your lips as he moved to kiss your neck. Slowly, every inch of you was touched by Jongho. You had never felt fuller in your life. As you opened your eyes, his were careful watching your reactions.

“You can move,” you bit your bottom lip as his hips started to move back and forth, you could feel every inch of him. Slowly he picked up the pace, thrusting into you, hitting your cervix every time he thrusted in too deeply, but you couldn’t care less, especially not when his fingers found your clit, circle movement making you moan in pleasure as his thrusts gotten sloppier. “Fuck, Jjong, ye-yes! Please, right fucking there, oh fuc-fuck-fuck!”

“You are so tight, so perfect for me, taking me so well sweetheart,” his lips found your again and both hands held your waist again holding you in place, “fuck I won’t last long.”

“Me neither, fuck!”

You bit down his shoulder, your nails digging into his back, the scratch marks were probably gonna be visible for quite some time. Jongho hid his face on your neck biting down as his thrusts got deeper, erratic, neither of you would last long. His thrusts quickly slowed down, but before you could complain, his hand was back into your clit, circle quick movements as his thrusts kept being sloppier. He wanted you to come first.

At that you held your breasts, pinching your nipples as you allowed yourself to feel everything he was giving you. As you clenched even more around him, both cussed and moan loudly. The third wave finally hit you as one of your hands squeezed your boob, while the other found his forearm that was moving your clit, hold it to a stop.

With a small nod he pulled out, hand already pumping himself as he watched you underneath him, like he had always wanted you to be, like he had always dreamed. White stripes of hot cum soon were splattered around your torso, one hitting high enough to reach your chin, making the two of you laugh as Jongho collapsed on your side.

“Let’s get you cleaned up, yeah?”

Before you could say anything, he got up heading to the bathroom. You could hear water running before steps could be heard. His hands worked quickly and carefully to clean you up, taking extra care with the overstimulated areas. You took your time to observe him.

You were definitely lucky to have him.

The giggle that escaped your lips making his eyes snap at you, a tint of red appearing on his ears as he put the towel away, ignoring your giggles as he went to grab you two a bottle of water returning to the room, finding you in the same position, a small smile plastered on your lips. All you did was point to the side of the bed with your head and he smiled pulling the covers, as he knew you two would soon feel cold.

His back to the mattress as your leg went over his. His arm stretched out as your head laid on his shoulder, the tips of his fingers caressing your bare skin light enough to tickle at points. Your arm going towards his neck, a small caress on his cheek before he faced you. A silent conversation. Realization of what had happened. The dream was real. You two liked each other. Loved each other.

“I love you, baby bear.”

“I love you, sweetheart,” he kissed your forehead pulling you in closer, making you giggle. “You are everything I could ever need or want, thank you for choosing me.”

“I’ll always choose you, Jjong.”

A small simple kiss, but full of meaning was the last exchange that happened between you two before you two fell asleep.

As the sun entered the room, you groaned stretching your sore muscles, realizing an arm was around your waist, you were naked and not in your room. Your head quickly snapped remembering what had happened the night before, finding a sleepy Jongho hugging you like his life depended on it. A small smile took form on your lips as everything came back to you, making you realize it really wasn’t a dream.

“I’d stop moving if I was you,” he’s hoarse morning voice made an electric current flow throughout your body and reach your core, you knew your body was sabotaging you, making you hyper aware of the growing hard on Jongho had up your ass, how his hand was so close to your breasts, “you know, morning wood is not fun…”

You laughed, receiving a groan from Jongho as he pulled you even closer to him, hiding his nose on the nape of your neck. The small tap on his arm around your waist was enough for him to loosen up his grip, but before he could complain you were facing him, hyper aware of his hard cock pressing your lower belly. His questioning eyes at your smirk was everything it took for him to shut up.

“Luckly, you have someone to help you with that…”

Your hand swiftly moved in between your bodies finding Jongho’s hard cock, playing with the tip, observing his face change expressions as you worked on his morning wood.

“You don’t have to-”

“I know, but I want to.”

Your body moved up and away just enough so his cock was at your entrance, your hand holding it still as your leg went above his hips, allowing you to grind on his cock, wetting it on your own dripping cunt. Both moaning lowly as his hand fell on your hip, your hand quickly putting the tip of his cock at your entrance.

“Fuck- have I told you, you are perfect already?”

“I could use the reassurance.”

You giggled as you felt him enter you, he almost stopped at your expression. You were still sore from last night and he was thicker than normal, but you held him in place, nodding as he kept pulling inch by inch inside of you, until you were full, staying like for a while, just until you felt adjusted to his size, feeling him twitch inside you from time to time, clenching around him whenever that happened making you both laugh at that.

“Jjong?” He hummed, eyes picking up on you as you called his name. “Can you please, move?”

“Will you be okay?”

“Mhm, promise, just move, please.”

�� As his length moved slowly in and out of you, the moans that escaped your mouths at every breath, yours considerably louder than his, as he also took the time to kiss along your neck as your hands messed up his hair even more.

This time it wasn’t rushed, not that last night had been, but this time it was different, more intimate. You could feel your orgasm arriving, you knew he was close as to how he grabbed your hips at every thrust.

You two were so into the moment, that you barely noticed how three voices entered the apartment, how they were quick to move things around, or how steps started to grow closer to the rooms.

“GOD FORSAKEN FU- SHUT THE FUCKING DOOR NEXT TIME!”

You both stopped at the exact moment Wooyoung’s screams reverberated through the walls of the apartment. Jongho quick to cover you up the best he could before eyeing the door, he could see shadows on the wall, he knew the guys were waiting for him to tell that it was okay to pass to their rooms.

Although he panicked, you couldn’t help but laugh, making him laugh as well before giving you a small kiss before slipping out of you, making you whine at the loss of not only his warmth temperature, but also the emptiness you felt inside. Jongho quickly picked up a random sweatpant and headed towards the door, looking at you for a second before smiling and shutting the door behind him, only to find all three of his roommates with shit eating grins on their faces, despite what had just happened.

Before any of them could say anything, Jongho lifted his finger with a death stare, more specifically directed to Wooyoung who had the cockiest smile the youngest had ever seen. With an annoyed sigh Jongho pointed to his room with his head before opening his mouth, words most directly to Wooyoung than any of the other two.

“Shut it! I don’t wanna hear it!” Wooyoung was the first to try to say something after Jongho’s words, but San quickly eyed him as Yeosang pushed him further on the hallway putting a hand in front of wooyoung’s mouth, leaving both Choi’s behind. The youngest however looked at San with a soft smile as both eyed the door to Jongho’s room before speaking again. “You were right, I was an idiot, okay? Just give us a few minutes.”

“You know Wooyoung won’t let you live it out of it, right?”

Both laughed at San’s words knowing it to be true.

“He can say whatever he wants man, I honestly only care about her, if she doesn’t mind his antics, I couldn’t care less.”

“I’m happy for you, Jjong.”

San said with a small smile, a hand rested on Jongho’s shoulder as he passed the youngest heading to his own bedroom. With a sigh, he opened the door to his room finding you looking at the door with a small smile before tapping on the bed, making him laugh and take a few steps before you stop him pointing to his sweats before you speak again.

“No clothes allowed in, c’mon, take those off.”

“You are a menace, you know that?” His sweats were soon on the floor as he joined you in bed, holding you close in his arms. “I think they can control Wooyoung for like thirty minutes.”

“So, we better make the best of those thirty minutes.”

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shmaptainwrites · 3 months

Text

𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐘 𝐍𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐑 [𝐉𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒 𝐖𝐈𝐋𝐒𝐎𝐍]

PAIRINGS — James Wilson x single mom!Reader

SUMMARY — James moves into a new apartment and finds a new friend in his neighbour across the hall

WARNINGS — mild descriptions of blood and injury, hospitals/hospitalization, a little angst and hurt comfort

NOTE — Guys this was supposed to be out Monday, I am so sorry, life is just not life-ing (ie. its midterm season) so enjoy this being posted as I am fighting for my life in cell bio. Also this has only been minorly edited by me so if there's any weird wording ot typos I apologize in advance

If no one had told you someone was moving into the apartment across the hall from you, you probably would have gone months without noticing anyone in there. You weren’t sure if your schedules were just not in sync or maybe he never really left his place. Regardless, it took at least two months before you met your new neighbour.

When you did, it was a coincidence. You were leaving and he was coming back home.

You both paused and stared at each other for a moment before rushing to introduce yourselves, only to accidentally talk over each other.

After you both stopped, he motioned for you to go first. You gave him your name and made a stupid comment about how you hadn’t met until now. Maybe it wasn’t stupid because he laughed, or maybe he was just being nice.

“I’m James,” he said. “And about not seeing me, well it probably doesn’t help that I leave at the crack of dawn and usually come back late.”

“Oh, let me guess, doctor?” you asked and he nodded. “It was either that or day-shift stripper so I figured my odds were pretty good.”

That made him laugh again and you smiled.

“I hope you rest well before your next shift. Unfortunately, I have to head out. Duty calls.”

“I’ll see you around,” he gave you a small three-fingered wave which you returned before jogging down the stairs.

You didn’t think you’d have much reason to see him again, but accidents do happen.

You knew sometimes you’d have the tendency to be a bit clumsy, but this was beyond that. Dropping your knife down next to the half cut vegetables, you looked around for something to wrap your hand in to stop the bleeding.

You thought about your options, you could call an ambulance and pay the ridiculous fee, you could drive yourself to the ER and risk getting into an accident, or you could knock on your neighbour’s door and hope he was home.

You sprung for option three, seeing as it was most immediate.

Opening your door, barely even bothering to close it behind you, you knocked on James’ door, praying that he was home and would be able to help.

It seemed as though your prayers were answered because you heard the lock click and the door open to a very confused looking James.

“I am so sorry to bother you,” you started, “but I was making dinner and the knife slipped-,”

“You cut yourself,” he filled in the blanks himself and you nodded, biting down on your tongue from the pain. “Come in, let me see if I can get you sorted.”

He opened his door wider and you stepped into his apartment, an identical layout to yours, but differing in decor and furniture.

He pulled back a chair at his small dining table for you to sit at and went to another room to grab something.

He came back with a first aid kit and sat down in the chair next to you, opening the kit and grabbing a few things he knew he would need before pulling back the towel you had wrapped your hand in and examining the cut.

“Wow, this is really deep,” he remarked. “You must be in a lot of pain.”

“Yeah, trying really hard not to pay attention to it right now,” you nodded through gritted teeth.

“Look, I don’t have a lot of stuff with me, but I think this lidocaine numbing spray should help a bit, but it will sting first,” he warned you and you nodded.

He used the spray and you winced, but just as he said the pain slowly dissipated and soon all you could feel was a dull ache. He started by cleaning the wound and flushing it with some water and alcohol.

“So what were you cooking?” he asked.

“Trying to make just some chicken and potatoes, but of course my hand and the knife decide to slip at the same time,” you sighed.

He pulled out a needle and some surgical thread next, determining what the best way to stitch you up was.

“Do this often?” you asked.

“Unfortunately for you, no I don’t,” he shook his head. “I work in oncology so I have to think a little harder about my stitching.”

“As long as it’s free, take all the time you need,” you joked.

“Oh, no one told you, my rate is 500$ a minute, I take cash or cheque,” he teased right back and you chuckled a bit.

“How about I do you a favour when you need it and we call it even?” you asked and he nodded his head.

“Seems equivalent. Alright, you’re gonna feel a light pinch,” he said and saw your face contort in discomfort and he quickly apologized.

He tried to do the stitching as quickly as possible, and then covered it up with gauze and tape to make sure the stitches were protected.

“You should probably come by again tomorrow so I can take a look and make sure everything’s okay and it isn’t infected,” he said. “I should be back around six.”

“Sure, thanks again for this. It’s handy having a doctor next door,” you smiled. “Now I should probably go and clean all the blood off my counters and order something to eat.”

“Hey, why don’t you just have a plate of food here before you go back?” James suggested. “I made extra.”

“You sure? You already stitched me up and now you want me to eat your food?”

“It’ll be nice company,” he assured you. “Unless you have someone you need to get back to.”

“No, it’s just me right now,” you nodded. “I’ll stay, the blood can wait.”

James served you a plate of the food he had made before grabbing his half-eaten dinner and joining you again at the dining room table.

“So, um, you know what I do for work first hand now,” James started. “What about yourself?”

“I like to say I’m a constant student of the world’s universal language,” you smiled to yourself, “but people don’t really know what I mean by that so usually stick to saying I’m a professor of mathematics.”

“Wow,” James looked impressed. “You don’t really look like a math professor. All of mine were a little…crazy. I never would have guessed.”

“Unfortunately not everyone can have Einstein’s hair,” you joked and James laughed.

“Do you teach at Princeton then?” he asked and you nodded. “What a coincidence. I work at the teaching hospital.”

“Oh, you must know Lisa then,” you grinned. “She’s a good friend of mine.”

James nodded, “Such a small world.”

“You’re telling me.”

You continued to eat dinner and chat about various things, most pertaining to the school or your mutual connection through Lisa. By the end of the evening, when you wished him a good night and went back over to your apartment, a part of you was happy your hand would give you an excuse to see your neighbour once more.

—

James stared blankly at his fridge wondering how he’d managed to go this long without buying any groceries. He could just eat out and put off shopping for another day, but he had time off and he probably should take advantage of it.

Without much more thought, he grabbed his house key and his coat, deciding to go to the grocery store just down the street, it would be a nice walk in the afternoon sun. When he opened his door, he saw you standing outside with a few empty grocery bags in hand.

“You heading down to the store?” he asked and you nodded with a smile.

“You too?”

“I don’t have the hardware,” he pointed to your bags. “But the fridge is empty, so yeah, I figured it was about time to do a grocery run. How’s your hand doing?”

“A lot better than last week. Thanks for asking,” you looked down at your bandaged palm. “Excited to be able to take this off.”

Just as James was about to say goodbye and wish you a good rest of your afternoon, your door opened and a young girl stepped out.

“Mom, I can’t do up my zipper, it keeps getting stuck,” she grumbled.

“Here, let me give you a hand with that,” you bent down and put the grocery bags to the side, helping her out with the finicky zipper. “Maybe we need to get you a new jacket, this one’s starting to get a bit tight, huh?”

The girl nodded and thanked you for your help by giving you a kiss on the cheek.

“Mom, who’s that?” she pointed to James and you chuckled a little.

“I was just about to introduce you two,” you said. “Nadia, this is James, James this is Nadia. My daughter.”

“Nice to meet you, Nadia,” James waved and she waved back.

“Are you friends with my mom?” she asked.

“I-I think so,” James nodded.

“Yeah, we’re friends,” you agreed.

“If he’s your friend can he come over for dinner tonight?” Nadia asked.

You looked in between your daughter and James once a few times before saying,

“You know, I think it’s his day off, I’m not too sure if he had plans already.”

James shoved his hand in his pockets and asked,

“And what if I don’t have plans?”

You bit back a small smile, “Then I would say, do you want to come get groceries and have dinner with us tonight?”

“I’d love to.”

“Nice,” Nadia grinned. “That means we get dessert.”

You scoffed and looked down at your daughter, “Is that what this was all about?”

“I don’t know,” she shrugged her shoulders innocently and you shook your head, locking the door behind you and beginning to walk down the stairs, Nadia leading the way and James at your side.

“You never mentioned you had a daughter,” James said quietly while you walked down the sidewalk, Nadia running ahead to press the button for the crosswalk.

“Never came up,” you shrugged. “She was with her dad both times you saw me before.”

“She’s cute,” James said simply. “Looks a lot like her mom.”

“Thanks,” you smiled, trying to ignore the warm feeling rising up in your cheeks.

You watched as Nadia came running back up to you both and tapped James on the arm.

“Do you like apple crumble and ice cream?” she asked.

“I do,” James nodded. “I used to make it with my mom when I was around your age.”

“My mom makes it with me too,” Nadia grinned. “Can we have that for dessert tonight?”

“Sure, if they have the granny smith apples, if not maybe we can make a peach cobbler instead,” you suggested and Nadia agreed, taking your hand and dragging you towards the store so you could get the ingredients faster.

You and James did your shopping in parallel and would both send Nadia on small quests to retrieve some things you needed to keep her busy.

“You’re pretty good with kids,” you commented after he had told Nadia about her next ‘top secret mission’.

“Comes a bit with the job,” he said, sifting through the peppers on the produce stand to find a few good ones. “It’s nice to be reminded every once in a while that not all kids are going through treatment.”

“I don’t know how you’d be able to see that every day,” you shook your head and sighed. “I would be a wreck if Nadia was in the hospital.”

“Well, let’s hope that never happens.”

“James! I got the berries!” Nadia came speeding back and handed him the basket of strawberries before taking a moment to catch her breath.

“Wow, that was fast,” he grinned. “Come on, I think it’s about time we go pay for all this stuff.”

You weren’t sure whether it was slight of hand or if James had an in with the cashier, but he managed to pay for the groceries, insisting it was just paying for dinner, so to even it out you slipped 50$ to the cashier to pay for his things.

“It’s not really letting me pay for dinner if you just pay for my stuff too,” he teased you as you walked home.

“If you’re really that set on paying me back you can come help me and Nadia cook. Maybe make sure I don’t cut my hand again,” you waved your bandaged hand in the air.

“Alright,” he conceded. “I’ll be over as soon as I drop these off.”

When you got home, you and Nadia quickly cleared up a few of her toys from the living room and a few minutes later, as expected, James’ knock echoed through the apartment. Nadia beat you to the door and grabbed James’ hand, bringing him to the kitchen and shutting the door behind them.

“Since you know how to make the crumble you can wash and peel the apples,” Nadia instructed.

“Is this okay with mom?” James asked.

“I’ve tried your cooking before, it’s okay with me,” you nodded. “Nadia, hon, do you want to help with the salad? Like I taught you?”

She nodded her head and went to wash her hands quickly before standing up on a stool so she could reach the counter and cut the vegetables.

“Be very careful with the knife, okay? Don’t make the same mistake mom did otherwise James is gonna start asking for our medical insurance,” you teased and Nadia gave you the classic,

“I know, I know. I’ve done this like a million times.”

“Well, let’s make it a million and one without accidents,” James added and you mouthed a thank you to him.

Nadia was chopping away and bossing all of you around like she was head chef at a restaurant, all the while interrogating James about his work at the hospital and how he ended up in the apartment across the hall.

“Where did you live before?” she asked.

“Uh, kind of close to where your mom works,” he said. “In a house with a nice apple tree in the front yard.”

“So why did you move to an apartment then?”

James chuckled. “Good question. I um, I used to be married, but I’m not anymore so I decided to move somewhere different.”

“Like mom and dad,” Nadia nodded her head in understanding.

“Yeah, a bit like your mom and dad, I guess,” he agreed. “Do you like it in this building?”

“Yeah,” Nadia nodded. “And mom cooks better than dad, but don’t tell him that.”

“It’ll be our little secret,” James winked and finished mixing the apples with cinnamon, sugar, and a few other spices and ingredients.

Dinner was ready within the next hour and dessert followed soon after, much to Nadia’s excitement.

“Okay, moment of truth,” James sucked some air through his teeth as he served Nadia a plate with some ice cream on the side.

She dug into it and put on her best thinking face before giving a big thumbs up and a smile.

“Phew,” James sat back down in his seat and Nadia giggled at his exaggeration. He finished serving you and himself before putting the ice cream back in your freezer so it wouldn’t melt.

“So, did you enjoy your day off?” you asked.

“More than I was expecting to,” he nodded. “Thank you guys for having me over.”

“Maybe you can come again next time I’m back with mom?” Nadia suggested. “Can we have dinner with James?”

“I mean, if he wants to I have no objection,” you agreed with her.

“I’ll mark it in my calendar.”

Nadia quietly celebrated and said something about having dessert every time and you gave her a warning look that only encouraged her to continue to be cheeky.

Dessert was followed by a sugar rush, and crash and while Nadia snored on the couch you were saying goodbye to James and thanking him for spending the day.

“She really likes you,” you looked over at your sleeping daughter on the couch.

“Feeling’s mutual,” he smiled softly.

“You know, if you ever want company or a friend, my door’s always open,” you told him. “Even if it’s just someone to sit in silence with you at the end of a long day.”

“Thanks, I appreciate it.”

“And I’m sorry about your divorce,” you said. “If I can say one thing it’s just that it gets better. Eventually.”

He nodded his head and gave you a sad smile.

“Helps when you have a friend who understands,” he patted your arm and wished you goodnight walking across the hall and disappearing behind the door.

—

The couch was your favourite place to grade assignments and midterms. Final exams needed something a little more substantial considering how long they’d take when you didn’t have a teaching assistant helping you.

You didn’t know how many cups of coffee you’d gone through when you heard the knock on your door.

“It’s James,” you heard through the other side. “A little birdy told me you were stuck grading all day.”

“Come in,” you called back and he opened the unlocked door and slipped inside, coming to join you on the couch.

“I brought you a pick me up but I see that may send you into cardiac arrest,” he looked over at your many mugs littering the table.

“I have a weird thing about making coffee in the same cup,” you shook your head. “And I will take that,” you grabbed the to-go mug out of his hands, taking a sip of the piping hot drink. “God, sometimes when I’m writing these tests I forget I have to grade them too.”

James chuckled and looked over at the papers laid out on the coffee table.

“Why don’t you take a short break. No one expects you to get all the exams back the day after midterms,” he said.

“Yeah, but my TA expects me to grade all the long proofs so that they can do their part and grade the short answer stuff,” you sighed. “But you’re right I should take a break before I start taking marks off for using a weird letter as a variable, or something more complicated than that, I don’t know I can barely think straight anymore.”

James took the coffee and midterm out of your hands, putting them on the table, letting you lean back further into the couch and close your eyes for two seconds.

“Is Nadia with her dad?” he asked.

“Yeah, visiting her grandparents,” you nodded. “I hope they don’t fill her head with too much nonsense.”

James looked at you a little confused so you explained further, “They hated me, don’t know why. Maybe because they expected Mike to have a stay at home wife, but after we graduated I wanted more.”

“So you went to get your master’s and doctorate,” James filled in and you nodded.

“They thought I was trying to make their son look stupid, but they grossly overestimated my motives,” you chuckled humourlessly. “I’m just really nerdy and like math. I wanted to learn more so I did.”

“And what did your ex think?” he asked.

“Mike…he’s an interesting guy,” you shrugged. “I don’t think he’s a bad person, he was just a bad husband for me. He’s a decent dad, he’s there for Nadia, but he wasn’t there for me when I needed him to be.” you shared. “What about you? What went wrong there?”

“The first time or the second?” he asked with a sigh, crossing his arms over his chest.

“No kids I’m guessing,” you said and he shook his head.

“First time, I was working two jobs to keep us afloat while she was at an unpaid internship. We both had terrible communication skills, and shouldn't have been married in the first place. The second time, I think I screwed that one up.”

He ran a hand through his hair before letting both his hands rest in his lap.

“Marriage is hard as hell,” you sighed. “I mean I wasn’t much of a picnic for Mike either.”

“You don’t have to try and make me feel better,” he assured you. “Although I appreciate the sentiment.”

“I’m serious. A marriage goes two ways and yeah sure, one person can screw up bigger than the other, but it’s not that one person is perfect and the other isn’t,” you said.

James pursed his lips and leaned forward, his arms resting against his legs. He wished it was that simple.

“Okay, my goal was not to bring down the mood,” James finally said. “This was supposed to be a fun work break.”

“I hate to tell you you’re failing miserably at the fun part,” you teased.

“Alright, then tell me why you decided to study math, of all the things you could have learnt about, why did math speak to you the most?”

“Katherine Johnson,” you said and yawned, rubbing your eyes. “I read about her in some random book in the library and I realized that numbers are what make everything in the world work. If she could send a rocket ship to space using math, then she had a superpower and I wanted a taste of it.”

“Did you get a taste of it?”

“Did my master’s degree research while jointly working with NASA, so yeah, I did,” you nodded with a smile. “And unfortunately, I have to use that superpower to finish grading these. You can stay if you want, I don’t mind.”

James looked at his watch and sighed,

“I have a meeting scheduled with the hospital board tomorrow morning. I should probably go get some sleep. Don’t stay up too late, okay?”

You patted his leg and assured him you’d be in bed within the next few hours whether you liked it or not. Your body probably wouldn’t let you stay up any longer.

James gave your hand a gentle squeeze and said goodnight, showing himself out.

—

The sound of the phone ringing echoed through the house and you called for Nadia to pick it up, busy washing dishes. When she didn’t respond, you sighed to yourself and quickly turned off the water, wiping your hands and going to pick the phone up yourself.

“Hello?”

“Hey, it’s James.”

“James, what’s up? Aren’t you still at work?” you asked, looking over at the clock.

“That’s actually what I’m calling about, I don’t think I’m going to be able to make dinner this week,” he said. “Something’s come up and I’m going to be here late.”

“Oh that’s too bad. We’ll just have to reschedule,” you assured him.

“Can you put Nadia on the line? I wanted to apologize to her myself.”

“Sure,” you chuckled and called Nadia again. She came out of her room, rubbing her eyes and you told her James was on the phone asking for her. She took the phone from you and said hello, talking to James for a short while. You could see she was disappointed that he wouldn’t be able to make it, but you heard him promise to make it up to her with a movie night one weekend instead.

“Bye James,” she said and nodded her head in response to something he said before hanging up. “He says bye to you too.”

“Thanks honey,” you patted her back. “Are you feeling okay?” you asked. “You’re looking a little tired.”

“I feel tired,” she confirmed. “Can I go take a nap?”

“Sure,” you rubbed her back. “Do you want me to come and stay with you?”

“I’m okay right now,” she yawned.

You nodded your head and watched her make her way back to her bedroom. That evening you had a quiet dinner, deciding maybe to make soup in case Nadia was coming down with something. She didn’t have much of an appetite, only eating half of her bowl before beginning to cough, one of those deep chest coughs that made you feel a little worried.

You quickly got her changed in her pyjamas and had her sleep in your bed for the night so you could keep a close eye on her.

Your instincts that something was wrong ended up being right, as Nadia woke up with a continuing cough in the middle of the night and she felt hot to the touch.

“Nadia, honey are you going to be okay here for two minutes? I’m gonna go see if I can get some help,” you said and she nodded her head while continuing to cough.

Quickly, you ran over to James’ place and knocked on the door, an arm wrapped around your stomach while you chewed on your fingernails.

James opened the door wearing a college t-shirt and sweatpants, immediately taking in your concerned features and asking what was wrong.

“Nadia got sick and I think she’s getting worse,” you bit your tongue. “I’m so sorry to wake you up, but could you come check on her for me?”

“Of course,” James nodded, placing a hand on your back as he stepped out of his apartment, closing the door behind him and walking back to yours.

You led him over to your room where Nadia was laying down and he took a seat next to her on the bed and placed his hand on her arm, letting her know he was there.

“James?” she coughed.

“Hey, sweetheart,” he gave her a soft smile. “I heard you weren’t feeling too good.”

She nodded her head.

“Is it okay if I do a quick check up to see what’s wrong?” he asked and she nodded again, letting him help her sit up.

He first touched her forehead with the back of his hand to feel her temperature and then placed his ear to her chest to listen to her breathing.

“Thanks, Nadia, you can lay back down now while I talk to your mom, okay? Try and stay on your side, it'll help with the cough.”

James motioned for you to follow him just outside of the room so he could tell you what he thought was going on.

“I think she’s caught some kind of bug that’s causing pneumonia,” he said. “Her breathing didn’t sound too great so I think it’s a safe bet to take her to the hospital, but I’d say you still have time to pack a bag with a few things and I can get Nadia ready and drive you guys.”

“James, you don’t have to do that,” you shook your head. “I already woke you up and-,”

“I insist,” he said. “You walk with me into that ER and I’m allowed to boss around the nurses and call the best doctor in pediatrics.”

“Okay,” you nodded your head and took a shaky deep breath. “She’s gonna be okay, r-right?”

“They’ll give her an antiviral or antibiotic and keep her for a few nights to make sure it doesn’t get worse and before you know it she’ll be good as new.”

You chewed on your lip and went to go pack a bag with a few of your things and Nadia’s while James helped Nadia get out of bed and into some shoes and a warm jacket with a hat so the cold air didn’t bite at her.

“Are you coming with us?” Nadia asked James after a string of coughs.

“Sure am,” he nodded. “I’m gonna drive and your mom’s gonna sit in the back with you.”

“Why do we have to go to the hospital?” she asked.

“Well, sometimes when we get sick at night that’s the fastest way to see a doctor and get the right medicine to get better,” James explained, opening his arms up for Nadia to climb into them to he could carry her to the car just as you had come out with a packed duffle bag.

“We can take your car,” you said. “I’ll find my way back tomorrow to get mine.”

James nodded his head and quickly went into his place to grab his keys and lock the door behind him.

He drove as fast as he could while still being within the speed limit, keeping an eye on his rearview mirror, seeing Nadia huddled up into your side.

“Mom, my chest hurts,” Nadia blinked back a few tears.

“Hold on, hon, we’re almost there,” you squeezed onto her a little tighter.

James pulled into the ER parking lot and grabbed Nadia while you got your things, walking into the hospital together.

“Dr. Wilson, what are you doing here?” one of the nurses asked, confused.

“I’ve got a young girl, seven-years-old with pneumonia symptoms, we should get her on oxygen, do a test for bacterial and viral infections, and get a chest x-ray as soon as possible. And call Dr. Herberts, tell her I’m calling in my favour,” he instructed while placing Nadia down on one of the beds. “Nadia, this is my friend Alice,” he motioned to one of the nurses, “She’s gonna be with you while we figure out what’s going on.”

“What about you?” she asked while James grabbed the oxygen mask from one of the nurses.

“Your mom and I need to deal with a few other things before we can come be with you, but I promise Alice is going to take really good care of you. She’s really nice.”

“Promise you’ll come?” she asked and James stuck out his pinky for her to link with her own.

“Swear it,” he nodded. “Now can you put this on for me?” he asked, showing her the oxygen mask. “It’s going to help you breathe.”

She nodded her head and let James slip the mask over her head before the nurses wheeled her off to get the tests done.

James turned around and saw you finishing giving your information to one of the attendants and she was about to inform you where to go wait, but James motioned that he had it covered and she nodded.

Your exhaustion and worry had become all muddled together and you couldn’t hold back your tears anymore, covering your mouth with your hand while James came and wrapped you in his arms.

“She’s gonna be okay,” he assured you. “You did the right thing.”

You nodded your head and reciprocated the hug, burying your face in his shoulder to hide your tears from the onlookers.

After a few more moments, you pulled away and James quickly helped you wipe away your tears with the heel of his palm before wrapping his arm around you and leading you to radiology where Nadia would be getting her chest x-ray done.

He sat with you in the waiting room chairs until they brought Nadia out and told you that you could follow them to her room in the pediatrics ward.

By the time you got there and were settled with Nadia, James looked at the clock and noticed his shift would be starting in around an hour.

“You didn’t have to stay,” you said, quietly, gently brushing your fingers against Nadia’s cheek.

“Of course I did,” James smiled. “I pinky promised.”

Nadia looked up at you and nodded, making you chuckle.

“Nadi, can James go home so he can get ready for work?” you asked.

“I’ll come back and see you later after you’ve rested,” he assured her, “But nobody's gonna believe I’m a doctor dressed in these PJs.”

Nadia giggled, “You can go. Mom says you work here so you have to come back.”

“Bingo,” James snapped and gave her a thumbs up. “I’ll see you later sweetheart.”

He bent down and pressed a small kiss to her forehead, wishing her to get better before reaching for your hand and giving it a squeeze. His signal to you that everything would be okay.

You pressed your lips together, knowing you were on the verge of tears again, but begged them not to leave your eyes. Instead, you watched misty eyed as this man who you didn’t even know only months ago cared for you and your daughter without question. It was something you hadn’t felt in a long time and so you let yourself soak in it for as long as it lasted.

—

After James had left, you called your ex and explained to him what had happened and he came to join you and Nadia at the hospital. The morning passed without much eventfulness and the doctor and nurses came to periodically check on Nadia, adjusting her medication and seeing if her symptoms were changing.

You left her with her father so that you could grab a cup of coffee from the cafeteria, barely having gotten a wink of sleep last night. When you returned, you couldn’t see Mike in the room with her, assuming he’d just made a run to the washroom, but instead you saw James sitting on the side of her bed talking to her.

He was dressed in his white coat, his hair a little scruffy and messy like it normally was. It looked like he was playing some sort of game with her because you could hear laughter and teasing through the glass walls and you decided to give them a minute alone together.

“Who’s that?” you could hear Mike’s voice ask as he walked up next to you.

“Dr. Wilson,” you said absentmindedly, smiling to yourself while Nadia laughed at James’ defeat in a thumb war.

“Acting more like a candy-striper than a doctor,” Mike muttered.

You continued to watch as Nadia pointed to the IV in her hand and James examined it for a moment, explaining something to her before pressing a gentle kiss to the affected area and telling her that he unfortunately had to leave, but he’d come again later and see her. Nadia pulled him in for a hug and they exchanged cute kisses on the cheek. At least it was cute to you, but to Mike who had no idea what was going on they looked a little suspicious.

“What the hell is he doing with my daughter?” he asked you, pushing past to try and give him a piece of his mind.

“Mike, wait!” you ran up to him, but he wouldn’t stop. “Mike, would you stop and listen to me for a minute!”

He stopped and turned to look at you, “You have an explanation for this?”

“Yes, I do,” you scoffed. “He’s my neighbour. He drove Nadia and I here last night. Just lay off. He’s a friend.”

Mike didn’t seem entirely convinced, but he listened and as James came out of Nadia’s room he pushed past him to go be with his daughter.

You rolled your eyes at his actions while James came to stand with you.

“I take it that’s Mike,” he said and you nodded your head with a chuckle. “Nadia looks a lot better.”

“Yeah, doctor’s said they want to keep her under observation one or two more days just to make sure everything is all okay and then they’ll send us home with some antivirals since they don’t think it was caused by a bacterial infection,” you explained.

“And how are you?” he asked and you took a deep breath, prompting him to reach for your hand that was by your side.

“I’m tired, I’m worried, I have to deal with Mike, I just…” you shook your head. “I’m happy you’re here.”

He gave you a half smile and brushed his thumb across your knuckles.

“You need anything and you call my pager. I’ll be right over,” he insisted. “And if you need a moment alone you can sit on the couch in my office.”

“Thank you,” you said. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yeah, see you.”

His hand slipped out of yours as he walked away. You were just about to go back into the room with Nadia before you felt someone tap on your shoulder.

When you turned around you saw Lisa there with a small teddy bear in her hand from the gift shop.

“Hey,” you smiled and wrapped her in a hug.

“How’s Nadia? Wilson told me you had to bring her here last night.” she asked.

“She’s doing okay, a lot better than yesterday,” you shared with your friend.

“Will she be fine in there with Mike for a bit if I steal you?” she asked and you nodded your head. “Let me go in and say hi and give her this then we can walk.”

You went in with her and gave a kiss to Nadia whispering to her that you were going to go for a walk, but would be back soon.

“Mike,” Lisa gave him a curt nod which he returned before she turned her attention to Nadia, the expression on her face changing from one of neutrality to a smile while she handed her the gift and assured her she was gonna get better so fast and be out of the hospital in no time.

“I’m just gonna take your mom to make sure she gets something to eat so she can keep taking care of you. Does that sound good?” Lisa asked and Nadia agreed.

“James said you’d do that.”

“Oh, did he now,” Lisa placed her hands on her hips. “I’ll have to have a little chat with him later. You know I am his boss,” she winked and Nadia giggled.

You stepped out of the hospital room and once you were a bit of a distance away Lisa looked over to you.

“What was all that about right before I came?” she asked. “With Wilson?”

“James? Oh he was just checking in on me and Nadi,” you shook your head. “It was nothing.”

“Didn’t look like nothing,” Lisa raised her brows and you rolled your eyes.

“We’re not in high school. It was a rough night and he was there for it. That’s all.”

“And what did Mike think about that?” Lisa asked.

“He wasn’t impressed,” you sighed. “But he doesn’t really know how much time we’re spending together and he doesn’t need to because he’s not in charge of me.”

“He is half in charge of Nadia though,” Lisa said, making a fair point. “Just be open enough with him that it won’t be a headache when it comes to her.”

You nodded your head, and didn’t argue with Lisa when she offered to buy you something for breakfast.

“When was the last time you ate?” she asked.

“Last night, dinner,” you sighed, Lisa took the coffee out of your hands saying you shouldn’t be drinking the caffeine on an empty stomach and you chuckled a little at her motherly attitude.

You sat down at one of the tables and began to eat with her lightly chatting about a few things that had happened since you had last seen each other.

“You know, if anyone gives you trouble you can just call me,” she said.

“Is that an abuse of your power as Dean?” you asked, with a slight air of teasing in your voice.

“Not really,” she shrugged. “I’m just trying to make sure the patients here get the best care possible.”

“Especially when that patient is your unofficial niece,” you winked and she kicked you lightly under the table.

When you finished eating, Lisa walked you back to Nadia’s room before going to the clinic. Nadia was sleeping now and Mike was reading a magazine in the chair next to her bed.

“Thanks for staying with her,” you said. “I hadn’t eaten since last night.”

“No problem,” he said without looking up from the book.

You took a deep breath and sat down on the chair on the opposite side of Nadia’s bed, twiddling your thumbs.

“She talked a lot about Dr. Wilson,” he said, finally breaking the silence, putting the magazine off to the side.

“Yeah, she likes him a lot,” you nodded.

“Do you like him a lot?” he asked.

You shook your head at his question, “Mike does it matter what I feel? We’re not married anymore. I can understand your concern for Nadia, but I can tell you with certainty that he’s shown us nothing but kindness.”

Mike looked at you for a moment with a piercing stare before backing off and leaning back in his chair, opening the magazine once again.

—

You rarely liked the idea of being away from Nadia, but tonight you were feeling grateful she was at her dad’s place. The furnace had broken in your apartment and the only thing warming it was a small space heater you had in your room that was doing a job it was not built to do.

You were huddled under blankets wearing a hoodie and two pairs of pants, still feeling the cold air cut through somehow. You were just about to give up any hope of sleep when you heard a quiet knock at your door and curiously you made your way there, grabbing your housecoat as an extra layer.

When you looked through the peephole you saw James on the other side, just as bundled as you so you quickly opened the door, wondering if he was in a similar circumstance to you.

“Hey, I-I’m sorry were you asleep?” he asked and you shook your head. “My furnace broke and it’s absolutely freezing in my place, can I sleep on your couch tonight?”

“Talk about coincidence, mine’s broken too,” you chuckled. “I do have a space heater in my room, it’s not much but it’s better.”

“I-I wouldn’t want to-,”

“James, we're both freezing our asses off. Come inside.”

He didn’t argue with you and followed you over to your room. When you got there, you both stared at the bed like maybe something would change to make the situation less awkward and when it didn’t you took the lead, climbing into one side and getting under the covers.

James looked a little nervous, but he followed your lead, getting in on the other side.

It felt weird to talk so you both stayed silent, turning your backs to the centre of the bed and trying to focus on curling up to stay warm.

Unfortunately for you, you could feel your body start to move the blood away from your extremities in order to keep your core warm. It came with light shivering and some chattering of your teeth that you desperately tried to stop until you felt a hand on your arm.

“Turn around,” James said and you listened, maneuvering yourself so you were facing him, your bodies just a few inches apart. He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you fully into him, letting his legs tangle with yours.

You could feel your heart beating in your ears while he brought your hands up to his chest, holding them in his slightly warmer ones, using a bit of friction to help them regain their heat.

“Better?” he asked and you silently nodded your head. “Good.”

Eventually you had regained enough heat that your body felt well enough to let you fall asleep and you could feel your eyes slowly begin to close as your head rested against James’ chest. He made sure you had enough room to breathe, but kept a tight hold on you until sleep came for him too.

—

“You slept with him?”

“I did not sleep with him,” you emphasized, pacing your office. “I slept with him. In the same bed. Together.”

“And you are freaking out about this, why?” Lisa asked.

“Because you don’t sleep in the same bed as your neighbours, Lisa!” you insisted. “But we did, a-and I was cold and he held me and…I liked it,” you finished in a whisper.

“What’s stopping you then?” she asked. “He’s cute, he’s a doctor-,”

“He’s divorced.”

“You’re divorced,” Lisa countered.

“Exactly,” you nodded. “He’s divorced twice. I’m divorced with a kid. That makes things… complicated.”

“Are you trying to stop Nadia from getting hurt, or are you trying to find an excuse to stop yourself because you’re too scared to see where this goes?” she asked you and you sighed.

“I don’t know,�� you shook your head. “How can I tell that everything won’t just fall apart if I do something?”

“You can’t,” Lisa stood up and put a hand on your arm. “Just try to trust your gut, that’s all you can do in situations like this.”

“My gut is telling me to kiss him and run away,” you shook your head and Lisa nodded,

“Yeah, you probably shouldn’t do that.”

“I’ll figure it out though, right. Eventually.”

Lisa didn’t say anything, simply giving you a hug, knowing deep down you knew what the right thing to do was and like you said, eventually, you’d come to the same conclusion.

—

Hearing the knock at your door, Nadia bounced off the couch and raced to open it, knowing what was awaiting her on the other side.

James leaned into the doorway when Nadia swung the door open and said,

“What night is it again?”

“Movie night!” Nadia cheered and jumped into his arms, her eyes growing wide when she saw the assortment of treats he was holding.

“It’s not a movie night without snacks,” he said and Nadia agreed with him. You came up towards them and snatched away two of the bags of candy.

“She just got a hundred percent clean bill of health from her pediatrician, you really wanna go and mess that up with all this candy?” you asked.

“Come on, I’m a doctor, I know what I’m doing,” James assured. “We’ll be reasonable, right Nadia?”

The young girl nodded her head and swore on her allowance that she wouldn’t eat all the candy. Hesitantly, you handed the bags back and gave them a skeptical look while they walked over to the couch to get things started.

You finished what you were doing in the kitchen and brought over a bowl of popcorn with you smiling to yourself when you saw Nadia sitting in James’ lap and telling him how to use the remote for your TV. You placed the bowl on the table and went to change into something a little more comfortable for the evening, hoping that by the time you came out they had picked something to watch.

When you stepped out of your room, now wearing a sweater and some flannel pyjama pants, Nadia informed you they were just about to start the movie.

“Come sit, quick mom,” she patted the spot next to her and James and you slipped in next to them, noticing how James wrapped his arm around you, bringing you in a little closer. You didn’t fight the close proximity and instead leaned into it more, resting your head against his shoulder.

Nadia had already leaned back against his chest, her eyes fixed on the screen and her hand shoved inside one of the bags of candy James had brought. The top of her head was just resting against the side of James’ chin and when you looked up at him he was glancing down at Nadia, a small smile on his lips. He looked content.

You could have stayed like that all night, just watching them, but you knew sooner or later you’d have to pay attention to the movie before they started asking questions.

Around halfway through the movie, James tapped your arm and you looked up at him, seeing him point to Nadia with his eyes, who was now fast asleep on him.

You chuckled quietly, sitting up a little straighter and saying,

“I can move her to her bedroom. You don’t have to stay for the rest of the movie.”

“Actually, I’m kind of invested,” James admitted. “But I will take you up on the moving her option, I’ve had to go pee since like the second musical number and she’s really squeezing my bladder.”

You bit back a laugh and shook your head, pausing the movie and standing up so you could genty lift Nadia off of James’ lap and carry her over to her bedroom, tucking her under the covers and placing a kiss to her forehead before going back out to the living room.

James was in the washroom still so you went and made yourself and him a mug of tea. When he came out, he joined you in the kitchen watching as you poured the hot water into the two colourful mugs with math puns on them.

“You take anything in your tea?” you asked.

“No, do you?”

“A little sugar,” you nodded and he offered to grab it for you, opening the cupboard in front of you and placing a hand on your back moving you slightly out of the way so he could take out the box of sugar cubes. Your breath hitched at the sudden contact and you hoped he didn’t hear it, instead masking your desire with small talk.

“I thought you had a sweet tooth,” you said. “It would explain all the candy.”

“I have a bit of a sweet tooth sometimes,” he admitted.

“I think Nadia enables you,” you grabbed your mug and passed James his.

“Oh she definitely does,” he nodded his head, taking a sip of the steaming hot drink before walking back to the couch with you.

You fell back into the same positions you were before, pressing play and continuing to watch the movie. After a few things progressed in the plot you spoke up asking,

“You think this movie’s going to have a happily ever after?”

“Sure, it’s a kid’s movie,” James nodded and looked down at you. “Why?”

“I don’t know,” you shook your head. “It’s stupid.”

James rubbed your arm, coaxing you to look back up at him again.

“You were thinking about something, what was it?”

“It’s just the happy endings don’t always happen,” you said. “I don’t know if I should let Nadi live in a world of fairytales or destroy all her hope of the future.”

“Maybe life isn’t all bells and whistles when it comes to love,” James started. “But we win with other things. I mean look at you, you’ve got an amazing daughter and you’re doing something you love with your life, isn’t that its own kind of happily ever after?”

“I guess it is,” you nodded.

“And you know, your life isn’t over. Who’s to say love is out of the picture?”

You were looking up at him and wondered how he could hit the nail on the head so accurately, like he could read your mind.

Right now, love was pretty clearly in the picture and it was sitting right in front of you.

You could feel yourself reach out your hand, gently brushing your fingertips against his cheek.

“And what if I’m not brave enough to go after it?” you whispered, feeling your heartbeat mixed with his and his shaky exhale that came with your touch.

“Then maybe,” his thumb and forefinger came to hold your chin up, his face inching closer to yours. “Maybe it can meet you halfway.”

You could feel your eyes flutter shut and his lips just barely ghost against yours when you heard a sound coming from Nadia’s bedroom and the spell was broken.

You both opened your eyes and after a moment you pulled away, just before Nadia opened the door to her room.

“Why was I in my room?” she asked.

You were still too stunned to speak, your mind racing at the idea that you were just about to kiss James, and he was going to kiss you back. You felt like a teenager, not knowing what to say or how to act.

Luckily, James was a little more composed than you and explained to Nadia that she had fallen asleep and that you both didn’t want to wake her.

“Is the movie over?” she asked and you all looked at the screen, seeing the end credits rolling.

“Yeah, it is, sorry sweetheart,” James apologized. “Can I make it up to you and read you a story before you go back to bed?”

“Sure,” Nadia agreed.

“Go brush your teeth first,” you instructed. “I’ll tuck you in once James is done reading.”

Nadia went off to the washroom and before James could say anything you stood up and grabbed a few of the dirty dishes, taking them to the kitchen to clean up. You couldn’t talk about what had just happened, not now at least, not when it was still so fresh.

You focused only on the dishes and cleaning the kitchen while James read Nadia her story before wishing her goodnight with a kiss on her forehead and waving goodbye to you and thanking you for the tea.

When the door closed behind him you let out a small breath that you had been holding and went to tuck Nadia into bed.

“Mom, are you okay?” Nadia asked, sensing your far off look.

“I’m fine,” you assured her with a forced smile. “Rest up, I have to take you to your dad’s place tomorrow.”

“Okay,” she yawned. “Night, mom.”

“Goodnight, honey.”

You kissed her on the cheek and stood up, going over to your room and sitting on the edge of the bed. You brushed your fingers against your own lips, closing your eyes you could still feel James pressed up against you, but you pushed it away.

Clearly, you still weren’t brave enough. Not yet.

—

The following weeks were awkward to say the least. You began spending more time in your office when Nadia was with her dad, just for another excuse to avoid James in the hallway.

He hadn’t made too much effort to reach out, you assumed to give you your space. You knew if you told Lisa she would just say you were overthinking things, but you couldn’t get out of your head, even if you wanted to.

You felt like you were going to stay in this crippling state of indecision forever, but you couldn’t keep it up, not when Nadia would ask questions, you needed to come up with something or someone needed to come up with something for you.

You arrived home late from campus today, this time with the legitimate excuse of grading finals. After the long hours of marking that had pushed you to extreme tedium and boredom you just wanted to curl up on the couch with a good book or something that would stimulate your brain.

Before you went to your room to get changed, you heard a knock at your door. Checking the time you wondered who it could be. It wasn’t often you had visitors past 9PM, that was unless it was James.

When you checked through the peephole, you could see James standing outside your door, waiting for a moment before knocking again.

“Come on, I know you’re in there,” he said. “Please, just let me in.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep breath, unlocking the door and opening it, allowing him to step inside.

“Is Nadia at her dad’s place?” he asked while you were shutting the door.

“Yeah,” you nodded, still facing the wood door. “She’s at her-,”

You didn’t have a chance to finish your sentence before James turned you around, taking your face in his hands and pressing a searing kiss to your lips.

You stumbled back until you were pressed against the door, your eyes now closed while you pulled him closer to you. You let yourself run your fingers through your hair like you’d dreamt of doing the night you almost kissed, his hands moving from your face down to your waist, pulling you flush against him.

You could feel your heart beating throughout every cell in your body, so loud it almost blocked out your thoughts. Almost.

You paused for a moment, holding James’ face in your hands and pulling away. Your lips felt swollen from the force with which he had kissed you and you wanted nothing more than to do it again, but you had to ask.

“Is our history going to make this complicated?”

“It’ll be complicated if we make it complicated,” he snuck past your defenses and stole another kiss, shorter, softer. “I want this. You. I want quiet nights just the two of us; loud nights with Nadia; breakfast in the early morning; lunches in your office; dinner together like this makeshift family we’ve created. I just…I want you and everything that comes with it.”

You smiled at his words, bringing him in close to you again for another kiss, this time long and slow like you were dragging out every moment of the future you had together.

When James pulled away from you, your hands fell from his face, travelling down his arms until they were in his. You looked over at him, blinking a few times until began to pull you towards your bedroom, a small smile coming across your face.

James sat down on the edge of your mattress and you stood in front of him. His hands were still in yours, looking up into your eyes. You let your hands come back up to his hair, scratching against his scalp. You smiled when his eyes closed and he hummed at the feeling of your touch.

His hands came back to hold your waist and he brought you closer, his thumb rubbing circles around your skin.

You bent down and pressed another soft kiss to his lips, causing his eyes to flutter open when you pulled away.

“What do you want to do?” you asked, fixing his hair you had messed up just earlier.

“I want to lay down here, and hold you,” he leaned back and pulled you on top of himself, sharing another kiss with you. “And I want to fall asleep knowing you’re in my arms.”

You smiled and nodded your head, whispering a quiet ‘okay’ while you adjusted yourselves to be more in the centre of the mattress.

And just like before, James pulled you close into him, but this time you didn’t let yourself feel taken aback or nervous, you leaned into his touch, savoured when you felt his lips pressed against your hairline, sighed when you felt his hands slip under your shirt to trace mindless shapes on your back.

No equation or formula would be able to describe what you were feeling and it made you realize that maybe math wasn’t the world’s universal language after all.

TAGLIST —

@cuntyvicodin @paola-carter @shots-of-wilson-and-whiskey

#james wilson #james wilson x reader #james wilson x you #dr wilson #dr wilson x reader #dr wilson x you #house md #house md x reader #hate crimes md #house md fanfiction #house fanfiction #james wilson fanfiction #james wilson fanfic #james wilson fic #lisa cuddy

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 18 days

Note

WIBTA for using my cousin's weed habit to convince my dad to let me go live on my own, making him pay higher rent? Hi so this is kind of a silly idea i had but wanted to see if it would be assholeish. Also it is not the only way out or anything, just a bit of a thought experiment. So i (24x) moved from mexico to the usa for grad school (2 years). For this first year i've been living with my cousin A (23F), A's college friend B (23F) and A's childhood/family friend, C (25F). Now they're lovely and really fun roommates, but honestly not very good to live with on an everyday basis. B and A are really messy (leave everything lying around - dirty plates, clothes, trash, you name it), and none of them are very clean. Other than them occasionally wiping the kitchen counters, emptying the dishwasher, or taking out the trash, i've done all the cleaning so far on my own (kitchen, 2 bathrooms, living room, hallways). I've made my frustration pretty clear (and even gone on strike lol, but i can't deal w a dirty toilet for more then 2 weeks), but nothing changes!! At this point i'm really fed up, and want to move elsewhere next year, preferably to live on my own. The problem is that we live in san francisco, and rent is... well, it's pretty expensive. Sorry californians you really got it rough. However, i've looked into the university's accommodation for grad students and it could be an option. I would be paying about $250 per month more than right now, but i would save on utilities (about $40 per month). The thing is, my dad is the one whose been paying for my living expenses ever since i went back to school. We used to have a rocky relationship (he was really frustrated with me not meeting his expectations; coming out as a homo, being a leftist, doing some weed as a teen...) and i think he sees this as 'making it up to me'. I really appreciate the way he has been trying to fix out relationship, and i'm obviously extremely thankful for the economic support. So i feel really guilty asking for more than he is giving me. Here is where my plan comes in -- my dad haaates drugs, and my cousin A has a pretty intense weed habit. WIBTA to complain about it ('waa the house smells like weed, theyre blazing it all day every day') to my dad, in order to convince him that me moving to the grad dorms is a good idea? EXTRA INFO: Would my cousin get in trouble? - not really i think. Its legal, and her parents are aware of her indulgences (i dont think they're happy with the amount she smokes, but they're pretty chill). I worry that if i complain to my dad, he would tell his sister (A's mom) and make it a huge deal, but as I said A's parents are pretty tolerant, and know of her 'addiction' anyway. Don't i have any money of my own? - not anymore lol, at least not enough to pay californian rent. I'm getting a job over the summer, but with visa restrictions (half time) i doubt i would make enough to make a difference. Working during term time is not possible for me (personal limitations). Also the increase in price would not bleed my dad dry or anything. Can't i just sort it out w my roommates? - they've proven to be admirably immovable objects on the cleaning issue. I mean, i can tough ot out, but at this point it's also the spirit of the thing that is pissing me off so much, rather than the cleaning itself. Do they just dont care?? T-T Do i have to 'manipulate' my dad? - um idk. It's definitely the easy (perhaps cowardly) way, but that's why i want to see if its too assholeish. Thanks for reading! Lay it on me

#aita #am i the asshole

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anxious-witch · 6 months

Text

Inertia 7

Summary: Newton's first law expresses the principle of inertia: the natural behavior of a body is to move in a straight line at constant speed. In the absence of outside influences, a body's motion preserves the status quo.

Jan choose a direction of his life the moment he walked out of his parents house and cut all contact with them. He didn't want anything to do with them, or God anymore. Even his soulmark he wished he could leave behind. But when Nace Jordan joins the band, with a mark matching his own, can Jan keep going the same way he did? Or will the force make him change a direction?

Pairings: Jan Peteh/Nace Jordan

Warnings: None, I think? Please do tell me if I'm wrong I'll edit ot immediately

Notes: AO3 link

urprise! Early update of the last chapter. Thank you everyone who made it this far, especially people who consistently commented throughout. I have several things to say before you jump right in.

1) I am aware JO didn't actually preform at the EMA, but since this is already and au and I really liked the concept of the scene, it is here. Just roll with it 2) There will (hopefully) be two fics following this one, one with the focus on Bojan and the other on Kris. I am not sure exactly when I'll be writing and post them though, since December is quite busy, but until then, at least this is finished.

Anyway, this part is pretty much all fluff and very cheesy at the end, but I figured we all deserved it after all the angst

I believe that witness is a magnitude of vulnerability. That when I say love what I mean is not a feeling nor promise of a feeling. I believe in attention. My love for you is a monolith of try.

The woman I love pays an inordinate amount of attention to large and small objects. She is not described by anything. Because I could not mean anything else,

she knows exactly what I mean.

Once upon a time a line saw itself clear to its end. I have seen the shape of happiness. (y=mx+b) I am holding it. It is your hand.

What Space Faith Can Occupy By TC Tolbert

Jan wondered if light green walls of the therapist's office were suppose to somehow elevate the space. Made it seem more colorful.

Personally, it only reminded him more if a hospital.

Still, just as in all previous sessions, he had to remind himself he wasn't there just for himself. Kris had been genuinely worried after his breakdown. Jure and Bojan didn't know about it, but they likely suspected something had transpired.

He would need to tell Bojan about him and Nace eventually. But that, at least, was a problem for future Jan.

There was also Nace to think about. In the past three weeks, there had been slow, almost painful progress made between them. Still, he was trying. That counted for something, right?

He turned his attention back to the matter at hand.

His therapist was a young woman, Jan would guess somewhere in her thirties. She hat jet black hair and looked perfectly put together. She reminded him of Kris in that regard.

Which made sense, considering he only got a spot so quickly due to Kris' connections. Jan really, really didn't want to think about how he managed that.

"So, Jan," Nina said, "do you want us to continue on where we stopped last time, or do you have something from this week you'd like to discuss?"

Her voice was unkind, or even cold, but Jan still had to force himself to talk sometimes. His trust issues weighted heavily on him in moment like these.

"Well, no. Except that Nace and I actually went to play basketball, but I mentioned we will last week anyway."

Nina patiently waited for him to continue. When he didn't, she spoke again.

"How was it?"

Jan sighed. It was awful. Jan felt genuinely bad for even going along with it, considering how much Nace hated any sport that you had to play with the ball. It ended when Nace didn't manage to catch the ball one time Jan threw it. It hit him in the face and made his nose bleed.

Jan supposed there was a metaphor there somewhere.

"It wasn't great. Nace is...really bad at basketball."

She quickly wrote something down and Jan tried his best not to feel judged.

"And how did you feel about it?"

"Shitty, I guess. I didn't make him play, but it kind of felt like I did."

Nina tapped her pen to the notes.

"From what I have here, it seems Nace usually initiates these activities and they seem to be activities you like. Am I correct?"

Jan shrugged.

"Yes."

"And what do you think about that?"

How many times could she ask him that? Wasn't she supposed to tell him what to think about that? Jan felt increasingly annoyed.

"Why do you keep asking that? If you want to say something, then say it."

She pursed her lips.

"I am not here to tell you how to feel, Jan. I am here to help you verbalize it."

That was the dumbest fucking answer he ever heard.

"I already said I feel bad about it. What more do you want me to say?"

"Have you thought about doing the same for him?"

Jan paused. He haven't. Or well-he had, but he wasn't really sure there was an activity Nace liked that they could do together.

"I don't know if we have anything in common. Other than music, I mean. I know he is trying, but maybe this wasn't a good idea, after all."

Nina nodded, his face neutral. Always so goddamn neutral.

"Have you talked to him about it?"

"What, and break his heart? He'd just try even harder. I don't-"

I don't know what to say to make him give up on me. Jan clenched his teeth.

"I think you should consider trying one of his activity. Surely, there is something he likes that you don't hate."

Jan took in a deep breath. He was fighting the urge to mess up his nails even more, but if he started bleeding during practice again, even Bojan will notice.

"I guess. But that doesn't solve the main issue, does it?"

Nina sighed.

"Alright. How about you think about it, and we talk about something else for the rest od the session?"

Jan agreed and they moved on, but the thought stayed with him. Was he simply not putting enough effort?

The question haunted him enough for him to drive to Nace's apartment few hours later. He only sent him a text asking if he was home, and once he got a confirmation, he sat in the car and drove here.

It was probably rude, but Jan figured that if Nace had an issue with him being rude, they wouldn't be here in the first place.

It wasn't until he rang the doorbell and heard the barking did he remember Nace had a dog. Ollie.

He knew that, of course. It was just that the two of them usually met outside of Nace's apartment and several times they came here, Ollie was being babysat by Nace's sister.

Well. Jan supposed it was bound to happen to or later. If Ollie hated him, did that mean he was immediately disqualified from soulmate status?

Nace opened the door, trying to keep Ollie from rushing into the hallway. Jan felt caught off guard, despite the fact that he was the one who rang the doorbell.

Nace was wearing a tank top. Had Jan ever seen him in one before?

"Please get in before he runs out, I don't feel like trying to catch him."

Jan quickly stepped into the apartment and Nace closed the door behind him. The Nace carefully let Ollie come closer.

Jan kneeled down, offering his hand for him to sniff at. He liked dogs well enough, but he was always at a bit of a loss on what to do with them.

Cats you had to build a bond with. Usually just being in their general vicinity was enough at the start. You let them come to you. Even if you offered them treats, you had to leave them at the same distance at first.

Dogs? Dogs were unpredictable. They could love you or hate you your smell. Or whatever it was that they could feel around you.

"Dogs can always tell if a person is good or bad", his brother used to say. Jan, who had dogs both love and hate him for no clear-cut reasons over the years, couldn't quite agree.

Dogs could feel something, certainly. But that something was only a first impression and they choose that intangible thing as a base to be loyal or not.

Cats, at least got to know you first before making any judgments.

Ollie sniffed his hand and cocked his head to the side, as if trying to gauge if he was alright or not.

"Hello," Jan said awkwardly.

Ollie came closer, nudging his snout against his hand and Jan carefully petted him on the head, waiting to see the reaction. When he started wagging his tail, Jan felt relieved.

Nace's dog hating him wasn't something he wished to deal with. There were plenty of other things that made him want to turn back and run away.

"He seems to like you," Nace said softly.

One bad call he share with his owner, Jan thought grimly as he stood up.

"That's good. I think we should talk."

Nace sighed.

"As much as I love how direct you are, that sounds very ominous."

Jan simply took his shoes off and shrugged off his jacket.

Ollie followed them as they went into the living room. Jan wondered if they were creating some sort of bad karma for the place, having all their fucked up conversations here.

Or perhaps he spent too much time around Bojan and his superstitiousness was starting to rub off of him.

"Do you want something to drink first or-"

"How about we just get this over with and then after you can offer me stuff if you want me to stay?"

Nace awkwardly sank into the couch, far enough that Jan would have to stretch to be able to touch him, despite his long arms. Was it for his own comfort, or for Jan's?

They were closer physically since they talked the last time. Sitting closer, hand brushing against each other, squeezing each other's shoulders on occasion. That sort of thing.

Now, though, there was no of that. As if Nace was already getting used to the distance. Which Jan supposed was fair, even if he felt a familiar burning at the soulmark.

Before Jan could say anything, though, Ollie jumped on the couch and attempted to nuzzled at his chest. Jan felt thrown off balance a bit as he petted him, which only prompted Ollie to settle in his lap.

"I don't think I am doing this whole thing right," Jan confessed, not taking his eyes off Ollie.

"Could you please be more specific?"

Jan scratched behind Ollies ear. Matej's dog liked that. Ollie made a content sound so Jan continued.

"You keep putting so much effort into liking things that I like and trying them out. And I-I mean I can do it too, but I don't know if it's even right. Like, shouldn't we already have matching interests? Is it even healthy if we both have to change?"

He took his hands off Ollie and clenched them in frustration. He hated how his tongue always felt like lead when he was supposed to talk about these things. He harshly pulled at his hair and tied it back with the tie around his wrist.

"This works like any other relationship would, Jan."

Jan scoffed.

"Does it? I don't remember any of my friends tailoring their interests to fit me."

Nace took in a deep breath. Jan learned he always did that when he was frustrated, like he was stopping himself from saying anything before he was ready.

"Really? Kris never tried listening to metal for you? He knows you favorite brand of tea on accident? You always keep ear plugs in your car if he gets overstimulated because, what? You did that before you were friends?"

Jan felt speechless.

"That's-

"Different? Yeah, of course it is, because this is Kris we are talking about."

Nace sounded resigned. Hurt, even. Jan slowly looked at him, but now it was Nace avoiding his gaze. He was staring at his hands, his expression troubled.

"I don't mean to say discard your and Kris' friendship. I think it's amazing you have him, but I'm jealous. Not because I think there is anything going on, but because you seem to allow others to get close to you while keep me at arms length. And I don't know what to do at this point to change your mind."

Jan's heart squeezed painfully. He never heard Nace so resigned. He was always the one to try and find a solution and not give up.

He gently set Ollie on the couch, despite his small, protesting whine. Then he stood up sat closer to Nace. Close enough that their shoulders touched. This time, he was the one to take Nace's hands in his.

"I'm sorry. You are right."

Nace's head slowly rose, like he barely dared to be hopeful and look at Jan straight on.

"I was, well I am scared. We said we'll be friends, but I don't think I can be your friend. From the moment we met, I kept you at arm length and for one single moment I didn't, we ended up hooking up. You terrify me, Nace."

Nace's breath stuttered. Jan leaned his forehead against Nace's and closed his eyes.

"I had all but convinced myself everything about soulmates was bullshit, that all that was stories and people kept confirming them because they were desperate for it to be true. But that was all it was, a placebo effect. And then you came along. Shattered everything I thought I knew."

For a moment, there was silence. Then Nace's hand touched his neck, just a bit below the soulmark. Jan took in a deep, shuddering breath.

"May I?"

"Yes."

The first time Nace touched the soulmark, Jan was too terrified to even appreciate the sensation. But he did now. The feeling was warm and safe. Jan expected his heart to race, but instead it calmed down, as if soothed by Nace's touch.

Something about a gesture made something deep inside him uncoil and words just started pouring out of him.

"When I was fifteen, I started secretly listening to metal. The first time I did, I felt so guilty, I ended up crying and not allowing myself to eat for a day, as a penance. For weeks, I had been worse off than if I had never listened to it. It took me months to gather the courage to try again."

Jan hoped Nace would understand he was saying. He wasn't sure he could say it outright. Nace hummed.

"You are afraid, but you also know that doesn't mean this is bad because you are afraid."

Jan nodded, but Nace didn't say anything immediately after. When he finally spoke, he didn't say what Jan expected him to.

"When I was twelve, I was bullied a lot because of my weight. I remember being terrified of going to school. The only place I felt safe in was the church, because nobody bullied me there. I felt safe. Even if the conditions and rules weren't perfect, it was still better."

Jan opened his eyes, almost indignantly.

"I am not a church."

Nace cracked a small smile.

"No. But you are a safe space, even if the conditions and rules you impose aren't perfect."

Jan's answer was to kiss him. Not roughly, like he did before, but softly and slowly. Giving Nace time to pull away.

He didn't, instead he kissed him back and pulled him closer. One of Jan's hands curled around Nace's nape and the other reached for his wrist. He knew exact moment he touched his soulmark, because Nace shivered.

The only way Jan could describe the feeling was that the bond between them sang. Like the world slightly tilted and found a perfect balance.

Like they were perfect together.

Jan had to pull back from the kiss, fighting a near overwhelming fear that washed over him. Nace didn't let him go far this time, instead pulling him in a hug.

"It's okay."

Nace's voice was soft, and he was warm and comfortable and it was almost unbearable.

"I know it's fucking okay," Jan said, his voice breaking.

He buried his head in Nace's chest and hope he didn't feel the tears soaking his shirt. Nace didn't say anything after that, he simply held him as he cried.

Until the tears dried out and the fear slightly pulled back. Still, some doubts remained.

"What if the rules and conditions can't be improved anymore? What if this is just...who I am?"

He pulled back a bit, to study Nace's face as he answered. Unexpectedly, Nace grinned.

"Well, if a church gets a new priest-"

Jan rolled his eyes at the awful joke.

"You've been hanging with Bojan too much."

Nace was still grinning.

"A priest can also recommend new way of worship-"

Jan groaned loudly and pushed Nace back, so he landed on his back, laughing openly. He had a beautiful, infectious laugh that Jan couldn't help but laugh along as well.

"Please don't use church metaphors anymore. They are awful."

Nace stretched his arms over his head, exposing his muscles and tattoos even more. Jan couldn't help, but let his gaze linger on them.

"Make me."

Jan was never the one to avoid temptation. And Nace had always been so tempting. Almost like a red apple in a garden without color. Jan leaned down and kissed him again.

Nace melted into the kiss and reached out to him again. His hands reached Jan's hair and Jan tense slightly, but Nace gently pulled at the tie, until his hair spilled from the ponytail.

Jan was distracted enough by the kiss to let him. He wanted Nace closer and-

They were interrupted by a loud, insistent whine. Jan pulled back enough to look in the direction it came from, finding Ollie looking at them with the saddest expression he could possibly muster.

Nace burst out laughing, his whole body shaking.

"I think he doesn't like me hogging his new favorite."

Jan chuckled, sitting back up. He held his hand out and petted Ollie gently, immediately receiving a lick on his hand.

"Maybe I could have some sort of tea, if the offer still stands," Jan said, not looking away from Ollie.

"It absolutely does. I have mint tea Kris mentioned you liked."

Traitor, Jan thought, giving away my secrets.

"Nace?"

"Yeah?"

"Which one is your favorite?"

Jan turned his head to look, catching a surprise that flitted across his face before it melted in a soft smile.

"Probably chamomile."

Of course. The calming thing one always drank when they felt unwell to soothe and comfort. It fit him.

"I'll remember that."

With that Nace went into the kitchen, and Ollie brough Jan a ball he could throw for him. Jan took in a deep breath, feeling as if he just climbed a mountain. Whatever happened after this, he had a feeling he could handle after.

As terrifying as it could get.

Jan was nervously tapping his fingers against the wheel, resisting the urge to bite his nails. It was not a smart thing to do while driving.

"Are you really not going to tell me where we are going?"

He chuckled a bit at Nace's pleading tone. This really was an unusual role reversal for both of them, wasn't it?

"I told you, it's a surprise."

Nace huffed and settled back in his seat. Jan sneaked a glance at him when he stopped at the red light. Nace had his arms crossed over his chest, his warm brown jacket tightly wrapped around his biceps.

"One would think I am taking you to get shot," Jan teased, turning his gaze back to the road as the light changed to green.

Nace laughed at that, at least, his shoulders relaxing.

"No, I just-I am not used to surprises. You barely gave me any hints on what to wear!"

Jan smirked.

"I said wear something comfortable that you don't mind getting dirty."

He could feel Nace's unimpressed stare on him.

"Very helpful."

Jan chuckled and took a left turn, parking to the side. Nace immediately started glancing around, trying to gauge where they were. Jan couldn't help but think it was kind of cute.

He unbuckled his belt and got out of the car, waiting for Nace to do the same. When he did, he led him to a nearby building.

Nace was frowning, trying to piece together what they were doing. Jan decided to take pity on him.

"It's a pottery class."

His head immediately snapped towards Jan, his eyes widening.

"You are taking me to a pottery class??"

Jan swallowed, growing nervous all of a sudden. Did he misjudge? Did Jure mix something up?

"Jure mentioned you wanted to try it since your sister did pottery. I thought..."

"No! I mean, yes, I love the idea!"

He sounded so eager, so terrified that Jan would change his mind and snatch the offer away from him. Jan felt bad. Was he truly treating him in a way that made him think he'd play him like this for a joke?

"Alright then. Let's go."

There were people inside already, and their teacher quickly introduced himself. He gave them instructions on hand-building techniques with clay, saying they need to get used to that before they can move to the pottery wheel.

The process was messy and Jan underestimate just how bad he was at shaping the clay. When Nace looked over and saw his wonky cup, he doubled over laughing.

Jan side-eyed him, before taking a bit of clay and smearing it over Nace's shirt. Nace gasped.

Then he grabbed a piece of clay and smeared it over Jan's cheek. Jan slapped his hair away, trying to rub it off.

"If this gets into my hair Nace, I swear-"

Nace laughed again and someone shushed them.

"Can you two please let the rest of us work?" A blond man left of them said.

He was short, with blind hair just below his ears. He was frowning at them intently, reminding Jan of an annoyed cat.

His tall, tattooed friend-or partner, how could Jan know, really-gently pulled him by the sleeve.

"Lovro, com'on. They are just having fun. Look at this."

The man, well maybe even a boy, with how soft his features looked, immediately turned to the other man. He looked at him like...oh.

Jan looked at Nace, who was clearly eyeing the situation, seeing if Jan could handle it or if he needed to get involved.

Jan was hit by the sudden realization of how much he had come to care for him. Despite all the back and forth and his own grievances, he was-

He stopped his thoughts before any bigger words came to mind. It was still too early to think that. But maybe it wouldn't be, eventually.

Jan never thought of himself as someone who could settle down and yet that spark of hope still lived, nestled deep in his chest.

Maybe.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" Nace asked, titling his head to the side.

Jan shook his head.

"Nothing. Let's try to shape these into something decent before we do that...wheel thing, yeah?"

Nace smiled, like a sudden light igniting in the dark.

"Yeah."

As Jan tried to save his clay cup, he suddenly felt bolder. He could ask, right? At worst, Nace will refuse, but when did Nace refuse him before? Jan cleared his throat.

"You could...come over after, if you'd like. You didn't meet Igor yet."

He didn't look up as he asked the question. It would be easier to take a no when he didn't have to worry about which expression he was making.

"You want me to come over?"

There was that tone again. Like Nace was shocked by this. Like Jan wasn't trying to do better for weeks now. He supposed he'd just have to keep trying.

"If you'd like to, yes. I did get some chamomile tea recently."

He sneaked a glance in Nace's direction. His eyes were soft and his mouth was lightly open, as if in wonder. Jan's heart started beating fasted.

"I would like that," Nace said quietly, looking directly at him.

Jan had to look away, but he couldn't help but smile slight. There was slight fear in his stomach still, but there was no ringing of the church bell, or an urge to reach for a necklace that wasn’t there.

He was still himself and he was still in control of it all. Simply taking steps in the right direction. It had been as if he was in inertia for very long time. After being stuck for so long, it was hard to get back into motion, but once he did, he knew it would get easier.

All he had to do was keep moving.

All Jan could hear was a drum of his own heart as they waited for the host to announce them. Thud. Thud. Thud.

It was finally time for them to preform at EMA. To try and get chosen to represent Slovenia at Eurovision. The importance, the fragility of the moment made all the colors more intense, almost as if they were in new, swirling patterns.

Jan took a look at his bandmates. Each of them in a different outfit that fit them perfectly. Bojan, in his loud combination of green shirt and pink pants, that he somehow managed to pull of regardless.

Kris, in a gold sleeves shirt and lighter pink pants that match. Of course-Kris always knew how much attention to draw to himself. Not too much and not too little.

Jure, with sky blue button up that perfectly fit his sunshine personality and darker purple pants for contrast.

All of them looked amazing, really. But it was Nace that Jan couldn't look away from.

Nace, who finally wore color. A purple suit with a silver shirt underneath. The suit had intricated details that made Jan want to run his fingers over the material and feel it's shapes.

When he arrived, he was always pale beige in their mix of chaos and color. Slowly but surely, that changed. And here they were now.

Jan shuffled closer to him, almost as if pulled by an invisible force. He could feel it, but he found it more comforting now, rather than scary.

"Ready?" He whispered, smiling at him.

"Ready," Nace answered, briefly brushing his hand against Jan's.

"And next up, we have Joker Out!"

They stepped on the stage as the people clapped and Jan could feel the adrenaline fully hitting him. He couldn't concentrate on whatever Bojan briefly said before he started singing.

All Jan could focus on was playing. His fingers slid over the strings just as perfectly as they did the very first time he nailed a song when he was sixteen.

Everything else faded away, like looking at the world through a sort of fog. Only music existed. Even Bojan's singing was slightly muted in that moment. Like Jan was alone with his guitar.

Then his gaze slid to Nace and he found him already looking in his direction. Nace, who still had the ability to be in Jan's bubble that one else could touch.

He didn't mind the company, though. Not anymore.

He sent him a little wink and watched as his cheeks turned slightly red. Then he turned back to the audience and took a deep breath. Then let the bubble snap and all the sound and sensations rush back to him.

Because there was never really a need for the bubble at all. Not when he was at the safe space.

There was no divinity here. None other than the music itself, that they shared with the audience.

When they played the last note, there was a thunderous applause and part of Jan already knew. He could feel it in their bones that they won.

The knowing of being at the right place, at the right time. With just the right people, too.

The rest od the night passed in a blur. Jan knew he talked to people, but later he'd be unable to recall what he said. He'd remember the high of the announcement that they won and all of his friends rushing into a group hug.

It wasn't until they all changed back to their everyday clothes and were waiting for Bojan in the cold, that the realization finally started to sink in.

"We won," he whispered into the night air.

"We did," Kris said, smiling.

Whatever makeup they put on him made him look more ethereal than usual. He looked more content than Jan had seen him for awhile.

"What is Bojan doing for so long?" Jure wondered, his eyes lingering on the doors they all cane through.

It was odd. As much as Bojan paid attention to his looks, he never took this long.

"I'll go check," Jan said, getting to his feet.

Jan felt slightly guilty, over how little he talked to Bojan outside of the practice in recent weeks. Being caught up in the whole soulmate dilemma, he didn't take the time to pay as much attention to his friends.

Well, that was another thing he could start fixing now.

He found Bojan in the changing room, completely dressed, but staring off through the window.

"Bojan? Is everything okay?"

Bojan flinched, as if woken up from a very deep sleep. He blinked at Jan, confused.

"Ah, yeah! Yeah, I was just a bit lost in thought. Did you guys wait for me for long?"

Jan stepped closer, putting his hand on Bojan's shoulder. Bojan leaned into the touch, breathing out slowly.

"Are you sure you are alright?"

"I-" Bojan bit his lip, his gaze jumping around the room almost frantically, never staying for long and completely avoiding Jan's face.

"I just...this is a lot. It feels enormous. And of course, of course I am happy we won. It just feels like we set a new course all of a sudden, if that makes sense. Like it feels like my life already changed."

Jan pulled him into a hug. Bojan took in a sharp breath and then relaxed, hugging him back. They just stayed like that for a moment.

"I know. It's terrifying but it's going to be okay. You have us, alright?"

Bojan's arms tightened around him for a bit.

"Yeah."

They were silent for a bit and Bojan already pulled away from the hug when Jan spoke again.

"I actually owe you an apology. With how I reacted when you brought up soulmates for all these years."

Bojan shrugged.

"It's fine. I figured it was a sensitive topic."

Jan shook his head.

"Yes but it's not an excuse. I am sorry, Bojan. You were allowed to be excited at prospect of meeting them without me putting you down for it."

He rubbed tips of his fingers against the nail of his thumb. Resisting the urge to mess it up more.

"I won't say I completely understand, even now with Nace. I still very much love being independent from him. But I am saying I understand more."

Bojan smiled, reminding Jan that if Nace was the light in darkness, Bojan was certain a sun, his rays bringing about a new day.

"Thank you for saying that. I am excited to meet her, one day. Whenever destiny decides we are ready."

Jan rolled his eyes, more for the dramatic effect than anything else. That was still extremely cheesy, but it was very on brand for Bojan.

"Sure, lover boy. Now, can we go before the rest of them freeze outside? It is December, y'know?"

Bojan laughed and grabbed his bag. He dramatically pointed to the door.

"To wherever destiny may lead us!"

Jan cracked a smile, unable to keep up the brooding persona.

"To whenever destiny may lead us," he repeated quietly.

Then he stepped over the threshold after Bojan and for the first time in many years he knew everything would be alright. As long as he had his family, soulmate included, by his side, everything would be alright.

No matter the challenges that awaited them.

#my writing #joker out #jance #inertia

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the-cult-of-riley · 2 months

Text

Sleeping With Ghosts (Act One: Chapter Twenty Six)

Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Female OC

[[Masterlist]]

A/N: Eeep! One more chapter after this for Act One.

This one ties things up on Charlotte's end and the next one will tie things up on Simon’s. I’ll warn you, the next chapter is starting the angst/hurt early lmao

August 30th 2014

“I wish you didn’t have to go,” Charlotte murmured as she lay in bed with Simon. They were facing each other, the room lit dimly by the bedside lamp. The clock read 4.35 am and Simon was due to ship off for a mission soon. It had been hard for her to adjust to the SAS missions with the fact she had zero contact with him until he came home but with time, it had slowly gotten easier to deal with.

“I know, love. At least I got to spend your birthday with you this time,” he replied ruefully, his hand buried in the hair at the nape of her neck and he rubbed it soothingly. It was always hit and miss if he’d be around for her birthday or not but she was used to it now.

“I guess, you’ll be gone for yours though,” she pouted, making him grin as he leaned over, closing the gap as he placed a tender kiss to her lips.

If she was honest with herself, she figured by now after being together for eight years, he’d have gotten bored of her, that the relationship might have run its course, but it hadn’t. It was still going strong, she still had those same butterflies in her stomach when he kissed her as she had at that damn bus stop.

His lips trailed down to her jaw and then her neck and a smile curled on her lips as he rolled her to her back with him hovering over her as he lavished her neck with attention.

“I’ve been thinkin’ about somethin’,” he purred against her skin, nipping her and eliciting a gasp in return.

“What's that?” she asked, barely paying attention when he was kissing her neck like that. He settled heavily between her legs, the pair still naked after the night before and she could feel how hard he was. He moved slightly to look at her, those deep brown eyes peering right to her soul.

“Was thinkin’... when I get back we could start tryin’ for a baby,” he confessed and she blinked up at him for a moment as his words pinged around her brain. A baby. He wanted a baby with her.

She’d had to come off the contraceptive pill a couple of months back due to having some unpleasant side effects so they’d been using condoms the entire time. They’d been super careful at first but she’d admit that the past two weeks had been a little more sloppy. He’d fucked her a fair few times without a rubber, complaining he hated the feel of them and he’d pull out. Two of those times, he hadn't managed to pull out on time. She wasn’t too concerned though, she had a feeling it would take some effort to knock her up and she tried not to let that worry her. She was still thrown for a loop that he wanted a baby with her.

“Are you sure? It's a pretty big decision,” she said carefully, looking up at him. He nuzzled his nose against hers, causing her to smile at his affectionate touch.

“Positive. Been thinkin’ about it ever since I saw you with Jo as a baby,” he confessed and she was even more dumbfounded. They hadn’t really talked about having kids before and if she was honest, she hadn't thought he wanted any. She’d been fine with that but now he was saying he wanted to try for a baby and she felt excitement bloom in her belly.

“We might need to see a doctor though, with my PCOS it could be hard to get pregnant,” she murmured, raking her hands through his short hair and he shivered.

“That's fine by me, sweetheart,” his lips collided with hers then but there was an urgency there that hadn't been before. He dominated her mouth, rubbing his straining cock against her in a way that had her moaning. It was crazy how wet he was able to get her with nothing but a kiss and he slid inside of her easily with one swift movement. They both moaned and he gave her no respite as he started pounding into her, one hand propped by her head and the other gripping the flesh on her thigh as he hitched her leg up his hip.

“Can’t wait to put a baby in you,” he groaned, punctuating his words by a hard thrust that made her see stars. “Pump you full of my cum until it takes, have you all full and round for me,” he drawled, sounding half delirious and Lottie was dumbfounded that her husband seemed to have some form of breeding kink, not that she was complaining. His words made her whine as she arched up at him and he chuckled darkly, the hand on her thigh moving to her neck, squeezing it and making her head rush deliciously.

“Simon,” his name left her lips in a broken moan and a long drawn out groan got ripped from his throat.

“You like that, love? Like the idea of me knockin’ you up?” he growled but she could do little else but nod as her body was jostled with the force of his thrusts. He was panting and moaning above her, unashamed in his wanton behaviour as he pounded into her.

“Fuckin’ hell, look at you. So eager for me to fill you up,” he groaned and his voice was hoarse, tense like he was a second away from shattering. He shifted the angle of his hips and she cried out, back bowing as her orgasm crashed over her out of nowhere. Her body twitched under his, pleasure rolling over her in waves as he cursed up a storm before shooting his load inside of her.

She felt like she was floating as she came down from her high and he rested his head in the crook of her neck as he tried to catch his breath. She ran her hands through his hair lovingly and she felt him smile against her neck, placing a tender kiss there before he moved to look at her.

“I love you,” he murmured and she couldn't help the smile on her face.

“I love you too,” she replied softly.

They spent a little more time in bed, wrapped around each other before it was time for him to leave. It never got easier to say goodbye to him but she hoped she could distract herself well enough until it was time for him to come back. He said they hoped to be back by Christmas but they couldn't promise anything.

“You sure you’ve got everything?” she asked him as she stood at the door. He had his duffel with him, fully dressed and ready to go. She was in one of his shirts.

“Yeah, got all I need. Make sure you stay safe, yeah? You know if you need owt, just ring up mum or Tommy,” he insisted, the same speech he always gave her, not that he needed to. When he was deployed she spent a lot of time at Anne’s or with Beth.

“Yes, sir,” she smirked and he raised a brow, giving her a look that told her if he wasn't in a rush to leave, he’d have her bent over his knee.

He stepped closer, dropping his duffel on the floor next to him as an arm wrapped around her waist, the other hand cupping her jaw as he kissed her senseless. He plundered her mouth thoroughly until her lungs burned and only then did he pull away.

“Gonna miss you, love,” he murmured, rubbing his nose against hers softly as she melted into him.

“I’ll miss you too. You try to stay safe too please. Need you home in one piece,” she implored, gazing up at him. He nodded, placing a sweet kiss to the tip of her nose before placing one on her lips too. When he moved away, she felt the loss already and tried to ignore it.

“I’ll try my best, sweetheart. I always do,” he smiled softly at her, a special smile he always saved just for her and it made her chest fill with warmth. She took his hand, nuzzling it before kissing his knuckles and his eyes softened as he looked at her.

“Get going before you get in trouble,” she shooed him off, not wanting him to leave but not wanting him to be late. He was up for a promotion soon and he’d been working his arse off for it. To say she was proud of him was an understatement. He nodded, looking at her with the same regretful face he always wore on the days they had to part with each other.

“I’ll see you soon, Lottie,” he smiled softly.

“See you soon. Hopefully sooner rather than later so you can knock me up,” she smirked and his soft smile turned into a devilish grin.

“I’ll hold you to that,” he flashed her an award winning smile, looking like someone who just won the lottery at the thought of having a child with her and she was once again struck with wonder that this man was her husband.

She waved to him as he left, shutting the door behind her with a heaving sigh. It would be a rough few months but she’d cope, she always did. And now she had something extra to look forward to when he got back.

Christmas Day 2014

Charlotte had cleaned the house from top to bottom and she was exhausted. She’d had Christmas dinner at around 1 pm at Anne’s house and it had been perfect, as it always was. She then spent a few hours playing with Joseph and his new toys. She loved playing with him, he had such a vivid imagination. She knew he preferred to play with Simon, who always made time for his little nephew, but with him not being here, he was more than happy for her to take his place.

They’d all hoped Simon would turn up today but she already had a feeling he wouldn't make it dead on Christmas. She was hoping maybe he’d get there the next day, she missed him more than she could vocalise.

She was already thinking about the plans she needed to make when he got home.

She’d been having trouble with her PCOS again, her periods deciding to vanish or just minor spotting so she was planning to ask Simon to go with her when he got back to see the gynaecologist. She was nervous to go by herself and she also thought it was important for him to understand what was going on with her body if they were going to start trying for a baby. She only ever had regular periods when she was on the pill so she wasn't surprised she was having issues now she had to come off it.

She hadn't really planned on leaving the Riley home so early on Christmas day but she was just so tired and she wanted to get the house ready for if Simon got back. She’d spent the time cleaning and now it was night as she stood in the living room and folded the clean clothes. She wanted him to come back to a nice home and she’d admit to letting chores go by the wayside a little when he wasn't around just because she missed him so much.

She was grateful that she was working again these days because if she was stuck at home all day every day thinking about how much she missed him, she’d climb the walls. She’d managed to get herself a job at an alternative clothing brand company, designing patterns for the clothes. Some days she’d go into work where she had a little office all to herself and she liked her coworkers. They even had her model for them a few times with the clothes for the website, saying she had the perfect look for them. Simon had been stupidly proud about it, it was cute.

She’d roped him in one time to model some of the menswear and it was funny looking at him in such goth aesthetic clothing. She’d found it hot but he’d refused to do it again after all her coworkers had fussed all over him. She hadn't blamed them.

Perks of working there were heavily discounted clothes and she loved all of her wardrobe now, even got some jumpers for Simon. She wasn't sure what it was about her husband and jumpers but she just thought they were insanely attractive on him.

Her hands stilled when she heard something outside and she eyed the window. She couldn’t see through it where she was because of how dark it was outside so she continued to fold up the pants in her hands before putting them in the pile. Then she moved to the window, peeking around the curtain so she didn't look so nosey as she tried to figure out what the noise was. No one was there and she shook her head perplexed before shrugging to herself. Maybe it was the neighbour's cat, the thing loved to be annoying in their front garden.

She made her way back to the laundry having no idea that in just a few hours she’d be given the news that her entire family was dead, that she would be handed her husband's tags as they told her he too was in the fire. She had no idea that in just a few hours her whole world would crash down around her.

#simon riley x oc #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley x oc #ghost x oc

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tarisilmarwen · 11 months

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Rebels Rewatch: "A Princess On Lothal"

Mini Leia is here to lift everyone's spirits, and provide some much-needed hardware to the Rebellion.

Right, so going to have to be careful about the new photo limit, but just one quick cap from the beginning here because awwww the Loth-cat was comforting Ezra!

Oooh the deep glockenspiel adds some interesting texture to this music cue here.

And cue the Hammerhead corvettes. Good thing Leia dropped by when most of the blockade was still sweeping up on Garel.

(They'll be back soon, Lothal and Garel are practically galactic neighbors.)

Lol Lyste sighing in aggravation about "Another delegation from Alderaan." I'm certain Bail and Breha have cultivated quite the bleeding heart reputation as cover for their covert Rebel activities.

I don't think the voice actress they chose is that great. She sounds... way older than 15/16 and I can tell she's trying for the cadence of Carrie Fisher's snark but... I dunno it just lands weird for me. I think they could have gotten away with having her voice sound younger and it would have been okay.

Chopper sticking by Ezra's side. :((((

A slow, mournful version of Ezra's theme. Fitting, as he's going to be grieving the whole episode. Which is a nice bit of continuity. I love it when shows allow time for characters to grieve and adjust to losses they've sustained.

Subtle animation appreciation moment: The way Ezra idly thumps the cadet helmet to the side of his head. Just a nice little gesture that adds character and flavor.

Oh shit, that was definitely a Dies Irae in the score there.

(A refresher for those of you just joining this rewatch: The Dies Irae is an old Latin musical sequence that has been used basically since the Gregorian chant days to denote the specter of death in a work of music. Composers from ages past up to the present have referenced it in their compositions. Think of it as like the world's oldest music meme.)

Lot of OT score references in this part, no surprise.

Ezra is noticeably more surly and pissy than usual this episode, at least until his pep talk from Leia. Also no surprise, the boy hides behind his sarcasm and snark like no one's business.

"I don't get to give orders!" Just wait, Ezra, lol. You'll get your turn.

Leia playing Lyste like a damn fiddle lolol.

Mini Leia is really pretty. They did a great job with her design.

Alderaan sits pretty in the "plausible deniability" section. I'm sure the Empire suspected the planet of harboring secret Rebel sympathies but they were never able to have concrete proof of it. Bail, like Mon, probably held out hope that he could stem some of the Empire's tyranny from within, and so that's why he didn't want to lose his seat of government power, not as long as there was a chance he could effect some kind of change, which meant Alderaan had to avoid being directly tied to the Rebellion.

There's some commentary there about the need to work within the system in order to fix it, versus when it's time to break off and burn it down, but I'm not going to go into that right now.

Hngh, Ryder's resignation when the Stormtrooper mentions "termination".

"Hera's here." Hhhnkgjhn that's the happiest we've heard Ezra sound this episode Imma cry.

Luke's theme used per the standard as a bold Big Damn Heroes leitmotif with the Ghost's appearance.

"I'll warn Sabine." Lol how does Ezra know Sabine's the one who's going to be paying attention?

Zeb enjoyed this entirely too much lololol.

Ha ha those two Stormtroopers who are like, "They take prisoners now???"

This man has zero shame lol.

RIGHT, SO THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE UNDERRATED SABEZRA MOMENTS RIGHT HERE AND I HAVE BEEN A VERY GOOD GIRL WITH THE PHOTO LIMIT WHICH MEANS I GET TO CAP THE SCENE IN FULL.

That soft hand on his arm. The way her eyes linger on him as he turns away.

*sobs*

I love it so muuuuuuuuch!

Leia being, well, Leia, immediately discerns that something's really bugging Ezra. I love that the Kenobi show leaned into the inner sixth sense she displays here, that she can pick out a person's thoughts and feelings with the Force just by looking at them.

Kanan discerning that Leia might be able to comment and help Ezra, aww.

Friiiiiiiiick his face.

Leia's theme follows right on the heels of Ezra's theme here, in the score.

"I feel like because I can fight, I have to, for those who cannot." Boy is that isn't the quintessential Jedi and Rebel Alliance motivation right there...

I do like the dynamic between Ezra and Leia. It's very sweet. They bond based on their shared Hero Complex motivations, their mutual desire to fight on behalf of the helpless. Ezra shows off a little bit for her, later, in the way he usually does around girls he likes (the boy has A Type, let's be honest), but it never quite reaches the overtness of his crush on Sabine, so it hits even more quasi-platonic.

I think Leia thought he was cute tho.

Back to the plot, Leia's embarrassing Lyste all over the place here lol.

Ah, wow, the Rebel Alliance theme, haven't heard that in a while.

There is quite a bit of tension in how slowly the Hammerheads take off. The show plays that tension for all it's worth.

Oh you know I gotta comment about this part right here where Ezra goes feral.

For a moment we had all forgotten about the fact that he was clearly grieving, and this outburst caught us off guard. The way this is staged it's framed as concerning, with an edge of danger, Ezra leaping onto the Stormtrooper and clashing beats sounding along with his punches in the score, Kanan reaching towards him with an almost hesitant body posture.

But! Ezra lets out his anger and then contains himself, standing up and just putting his helmet back on. He breathes, regains his composure, and returns to neutral.

*weeps* He's such a good Jedi.

Kanan whipping out his lightsaber to be awesome against the AT-ATs aaaaaah!

(And that implied to be the reason Ryder stayed on Lothal and started up a new Rebel cell there, ONCE AGAIN CATCH ME CRYING ABOUT HOW THE JEDI REPRESENT HOPE TO A HOPELESS GALAXY.)

HHmmmmmmgggh I wanna say this is a recurring leitmotif but I don't know, I love it either way, it's beautiful.

Swish swish and return to first position, aaaah lightsaber choreography is so cool sometimes.

This whole sequence is just... *chef kiss*. The orchestration, the tension, the rapid shot choice...

Lolol Lyste getting thoroughly embarrassed by Leia.

Fun fact: One of the Hammerheads they gathered here in this episode would later go on to be the one that landed THE decisive blow to one of the Star Destroyers guarding the shield gate at Scarif.

PIECE BY PIECE, REBELS SHOWS THE MINUTIA OF SACRIFICES NEEDED TO PUT EVERY ELEMENT INTO PLACE FOR THEIR ULTIMATE VICTORY.

Ryder enters with Ezra, did Ezra have any kind of hand in convincing him to fight for Lothal?

HE LOOKS DIRECTLY AT EZRA I THINK THERE'S A CASE TO BE MADE HERE.

The Force Theme soaring into prominence here as we close out.

This episode is just the kind of break we need to process the events of the previous episode. Leia is almost flawless, willy deflecting suspicion off herself while playing the Imperials all for fools, compassionate and empathetic when she senses someone in pain and turmoil.

Ezra is allowed to grieve throughout the episode, and displays a myriad of conflicted and complex emotions from scene to scene. Kanan almost takes a bit of a backseat to comforting him, letting all the others express sympathy in turn, giving him the space he needs and offering up the distraction of the mission. He handles Ezra really well, all things considered.

It helps that Ezra, unlike Anakin, chooses to deal with and channel his grief in a productive way, rather than destructive. (I have the tag "#ezra is the anti-anakin" for a reason.)

This is a fun episode. Lighter than the previous one, lower stakes, but needed to let the characters breathe and process through the revelations of the plot. I really like it.

We're about to hit the Golden Streak, so stay tuned, I will have more to say later.

#star wars #star wars rebels #rebels rewatch #liveblog #sabezra #ezra bridger #leia organa #music #soundtracks

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dreamsicle262 · 11 months

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sigma should join the ada this, sigma should join the ada that.

why not just flip everything around and make it worse? im talking the ada and doa swap, the pm and guild swap, while standalones (like shibusawa (although he could be an honorary detective for the doa replacing the ada because there might need to be more detectives instead of four...) or maybe even ayatsuji) keep their roles. no more ada/pm swap aus where everything else is the same. the way i see it, if you're gonna swap a few things around, then every organization should be affected, not just those two. plus, imagine how certain characters would think. their personalities and goals will be relatively the same but there will be changes too, as their organizations also head towards different goals.

i mostly started thinking about this because the idea of the doa replacing the ada is just rlly funny to me and i already have things to say about it. firstly, the name change: Ace Detective Agency. keeps the ada acronym intact, and also assures ppl that these few detectives can ace a case. it also alludes to casino motifs, which is actually how they get money in the times they don't have very many available cases; instead of a cafe, there's a casino run by sigma part-time whenever he's not doing detective work. not to mention that casinos might draw certain criminals to them, especially if they're the gambling type. enough of that though.

the agency office itself will also have somewhat of a casino aesthetic to it, as well as personal areas being decorated in such as way that it reveals the personalities of the four main members (i have erased fukuchi from this universe entirely as he has no use being in it). and yes, you read that right. four. im keeping bram. he deserves to at least have his lower body in this au so he can do things. speaking of which, everyone would still be pretty eccentric, especially nikolai, even if he isn't a murder-happy clown (he is still a clown tho)

nikolai is the type to have a pretty messy desk (full on clown desk with lots of props to prank people with; the whoopee cushion is the bane of sigma's existence), and i could see him also being the first to greet clients (and potentially spook them with his general attitude). he'd still have his core values of freedom intact, but minus the act of being a deranged murderer. essentially, a slightly more stable version of himself, but that really isn't saying much since he still has a weird obsession with murder cases. bro's probably been consuming too much true crime media despite literally being a detective. he also has a pet bird that he hides in his overcoat and brings to work, much to sigma's dismay. i'll let him keep the overcoat due to it being an integral part of his character design due to the nature of his ability, but let it be known that he will be getting a redesign.

sigma is pretty much the same, honestly. he's also the founder of the agency and has shown to be capable of running his casino as well as the agency, but he has thought of letting someone else run his casino full-time. it gets stressful having two roles to fulfill, after all. anyways, he handles himself well and is able to pay off the two rented out floors he has control over due to the amount of money he gets from both jobs. he also pays his employees fairly. overall, he's like an overworked millennial (not to mention a mom friend to nikolai still being a bit of a dumbass even in this au) but at least he's managing. his desk is neat and clean, decorated with casino related things. he tries to get to the door before nikolai can in order to not get his new clients scared away by how over-the-top his clown of a friend can be. sigma takes on less violent cases, although he is perfectly capable of taking them on as well, if need be.

fyodor. yeah, him. his desk is pretty bland, except for the necessities. he makes no move to actually talk to the clients and would prefer that they get to the point. a bit hard to read for the others, even nikolai, which is wild given that they're kinda close. doesn't take up cases often, but when he does, they get FINISHED. he's a very efficient person. as for the times he's not on a case, he's somewhere else. is he gathering intel? is he simply slacking off? is he secretly a traitor somehow? no one will ever know. he's the top detective, at least.

bram refuses to work during daylight hours. his vampiric nature prevents him from being able to do that effectively. this is still good for business though, because he can take up night cases when everyone else goes home for the day! not to mention that being met with a vampire if you tried to break into the agency when you thought everyone had left would NOT be a fun day (or night) for you. his desk is in the darkest part of the room, away from any windows. he's present during the day, it's just that he does mostly office work instead of actual cases. the fridge in the lunch room is always stocked up on blood bags for him, even though he'd probably much rather prefer drinking from someone directly. at least there's a microwave for him to heat them up with. he's also very polite with clients, surprisingly. however, he has yet to stop sprinkling in old english in his conversations with others, but he's learning.

i wasn't planning on turning this entirely into a doa detective agency au post, but i'll elaborate on the other organizations and their members later.

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foster-the-world · 6 months

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Can't stop.

Can't stop coughing. Week five probably. Getting worse instead of better. Used to be only at night. Feel fine its just the hacking cough and runny nose. Planning to drop baby boy at OT and then walk around outside because don't want the parents mad at me for hacking on them. He missed Friday because he was hacking so much. He at least seemed better this morning.

Mammogram came back "incomplete." so have to go back for futher imagining. Doesn't really make me nervous/anxious just annoyed I have to make another appointment. My Mom just had breast cancer but because she's 70+ I don't think my genetic disposition is particularly increased.

Sent angry emails to the foster agency because they told me they would not reimburse our OT cost. They sent long, inaccurate email about why they would not pay. Today I get a reimbursement check which was def sent before they said they would not pay. They also claimed they would not pay because he is getting OT in school "that they secured." Which is such bullshit. I did all of the evaluation legwork - which I should as his mother. I pointed out he was only getting one OT per week because they could not get a provider. Without asking the agency sends an email to the CPSE office. Not helpful. I already talked to them and they are working on it. Can they please just give us an adoption date but also thank you for that check. We will take it.

Going to see Back to the Future on Broadway tmrw night. Bee's ice skating program gives us access to $20 Broadway play tickets to some shows. Happy to take advantage. Going to my husband's 20 year reunion on Saturday night. His parents asked not to babysit because they need to prepare for Thanksgiving. I'm irrationally annoyed. What exactly do they need to do on Saturday night to prepare for a meal on Thursday? I recognize I have irrational expectations for grandparents because my Mom is so great/helpful/would rather hang out with my kids then do anything else in the entire world. I think his parents have a catch-22 in that they really love hanging out with the kids in theory but its also overwhelming for them in practice. Which is understandable. Just wish we lived by the grandparents who would do anything.

Practicing IV stuff on the fake arm is so helpful. Totally worth the cost. Already feeling much better about starting work. IVs and catheters are my two biggest fears. I can't believe we didn't get to practice either in nursing school. Or rather I got to do one needle stick on a fake arm. One. I also watched another student do a fake catheter insert. The fake arm is not realistic but it helps to practice the steps, etc. My husband is too squeamish to let me practice on him but i think my Mom will.

Found a better airbnb in London. I think my cousin is also going to join us. Which is great news for the girls and I. She gets mad at her Mom for being so out of shape. Which is not so helpful. I sent my Aunt a couch to walking 10K program. She said thank you and did not seem annoyed. I really didn't want to offend her. I think she would be happier if she was better able to get around. Let's hope the trip will be motivating for her.

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myveryownfanfiction · 2 years

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18+ MINORS AND THOSE WITHOUT AGE IN BIO DNI

warnings: swearing, drinking, teasing

Walking around the party, I mingled with small groups of people. Some I knew. Others I didn’t. My friend Rosie was over in the corner with her new boyfriend and his friend. The two were scientists and the most boring people I had ever met. Well Otto was. All he really knew to talk about was his experiments. Norman at least asked questions about what I was doing. I looked over my shoulder to see Norman watching me. He smiled and offered me a shy wave. I waved back, took a sip from my drink and continued the conversation with the cheerleader in front of me. I knew nothing about Empire State’s sports team but apparently she was going to teach me.

“Sorry to interrupt,” I felt a hand on my arm and I turned to find Norman standing there. “But I need to steal (Y/N) away for a second.” I gave a half assed farewell to the cheerleader and reached up to squeeze Norman’s hand, still on my shoulder.

“Thanks for that.” I whispered to him before I took a sip of my drink. Norman nodded at me as we took our previous places against the wall. Otto and Rosie were cuddling up together and completely unaware of the two of us. “Look at that.” I tilted my cup towards the happy couple. “Makes you wonder if that’s what it’s really like or just for other people.” Norman chuckled as he took my cup from me and took a drink.

“I think you’re getting drunk.” I shrugged and took the drink back. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m cut out for that.”

“As a scientist, I can say you would suck at it.” Norman made a noise of indignation. “You’re too analytical. Everything needs to be done a certain way in a certain order. Something like that,” I nodded towards the two still paying us no mind. “Is spontaneous. It can’t be planned out meticulously. It’s more trial and error than the scientific method could handle.” Norman watched me carefully as I knocked back what was left in the cup. I caught his eye and blushed under his intense gaze. “Sorry. I’ll grab another.” Norman watched as I made my way back through the crowd. He barely noticed Rosie breaking away from Otto and following me.

“Damn you’ve got it hard.” Norman flinched and discreetly checked his groin. Rolling his eyes, he turned towards Otto.

“And what makes you think that?” Otto was smirking and turned his head towards the drinks table.

“Because you haven’t taken your eyes off them all night. And when there was something you perceived as a threat,” Otto leaned in conspiratorially. “Like a cheerleader…” Norman flushed red at the implication. “You swooped in to quote unquote save them.”

“I did no such thing. (Y/N) was bored. You could see it on their face. I just offered them an out.” Norman started to rub at the back of his neck. Otto gently grabbed his arm and lowered it.

“Norman, you don’t see it but think it through like an equation.” Normans eyes flickered over to me before looking back at otto.

“Think what through?” I looked over at the two and had to fight back a laugh at how focused they both were.

“(Y/N) likes you too.” Normans eyes went wide and he turned shades of red he had only seen on screen.

At the same time, I was having the same conversation with Rosie.

“Oh forget it Rosie. Norman does not like me back.” I waved her off.

“Yes he does! You should have seen his face when you were talking to the cheerleader.” Rosie teasingly hit my arm. I rolled my eyes.

“Rosie, did you see his face? You’ve spent most of the night kissing otto. You haven’t seen anything.” Rosie giggled and blushed but pushed on regardless.

“(Y/N), I’m serious. Do we have to lock the two of you in a closet for something to happen or what?” I grabbed a second cup and started walking back to the boys.

“Thanks for the advice Rosie but I’ve got it.” Plastering a fake smile onto my face, I reached the boys. “Hello boys.” I handed Norman one of the drinks in my hand. He smiled in thanks and chugged the contents. “Damn Norman. Look at you go.” Otto chuckled as Rosie returned and the two of them walked off, probably to a more secluded location.

“They’re so cute it makes me sick.” Norman muttered. He eyed my cup and I handed it over.

“Suddenly I’m not so thirsty anymore.” I leaned back against the wall and closed my eyes. “Maybe you were right.” Normans shoulder bumped mine as he took a spot next to me.

“Bout what?” I subconsciously leaned on him.

“Me getting drunk.” Norman laughed and handed me back my cup. I opened my eyes long enough to see there was half a cup left. I chugged it and started to crush the cup before the noise got to me. This time I let my head fall on Norman’s shoulder. “Oh shit I shouldn’t have done that.” Norman chuckled as I slumped against him to be more comfortable.

“We should get you something to eat.” He whispered. I nodded moodily before lifting my head up. My breath hitched at how close we were and I took a small step back.

“I’ll bring you something too.” I smiled at him. “You’ve been drinking as much as I have.” Norman nodded. I turned to head over to the buffet table when Norman grabbed my arm and pulled me into his chest. The cup fell to the ground as Norman kissed me. My hands froze in mid air before moving to cup his cheeks.

“Spontaneous.” He murmured when we broke away. “I can give that a try.” I giggled as he brushed a lock of hair out of my face.

“You’re definitely drunk.” I laughed out. Norman pecked me on the lips.

“Then remind me of this tomorrow morning.” He whispered as he kissed me again.

#norman osborn #norman osborn x reader #norman osborn imagine #norman osborn fanfic #norman osborn fanfiction #willem dafoe #willem dafoe fanfic #willem dafoe fanfiction #willem dafoe x reader #willem dafoe imagine #spiderman #spiderman fanfic #spiderman fanfiction #raimi spider man #spiderman imagine

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judgeanon · 11 months

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Plastic Skies - Model 11: F-22 Raptor “Mobius-1″

As soon as I had a couple of finished models under my belt, I knew what I wanted my “Final Boss” to be. There was one plane that I really wanted to not just build, but build right; to do the absolute best job I could with it. It took me a while to get there, and there were a few bumps and stops along the road, but in the end I managed to not only build it, but also close the circle of what had inspired me to start modelling again.

It was time to become an Ace. Or at least try.

So, the F-22 Raptor. I love that thing.

Everything about it is just cool as fuck to me. Its shape, silhouette, hidden weapon bays, everything. It's just square and sharp enough to look futuristic while still having enough curves to still look like a fighter jet and not some jank spaceship.

The other reason why I love the Raptor is Novalogic’s old F-22 RAPTOR flight sim from 1997. At the time, and for a long time, it was the best flight game I’d ever played, looking and feeling lightyears ahead of any other flight game at the time. Even if the Raptor has famously never been in any actual combat or downed any enemy planes (which as far as I’m concerned is the best thing that can happen to any weapon), it’s sure seen a lot of virtual warfare. Especially in another series...

The thing about Ace Combat is that I’d never really played them until a bit under a year ago. As I mentioned when I started this series, I knew they existed and I’d had a few close brushes with them, but I’d never sat down and played any until Ace Combat 7, which promptly blew my mind. Soon, through the power of emulators, I made my way through every single game in the series. And one of the things I noticed was that every Ace Combat is actually two games in one: there’s the game before you unlock the F-22 Raptor and the game after.

In pretty much every Ace Combat, the Raptor is a late-game unlock, and always one of the best. It’s faster, moves better, and just using it feels like dropping the difficulty level down at least one. On top of that, it’s been featured in the covers of a lot of them, including the very first home release:

So playing through the series really reignited my love for the damn thing, to say the least. And when I entered the hobby shop for the first time and spotted that Revell kit up there, I knew I was going to end up building one sooner or later. But I held off for months, building other models, learning every technique I cared ot try and accumulating an arsenal of tools. Along the way, I also ran into something wonderful: an eBay listing for a decal sheet full of emblems from Ace Combat, including everything I could need to build not just any Raptor, but THE Raptor. Mobius-1′s Raptor from Ace Combat 04.

As it turned out, there had been an official AC04 Raptor model kit released some years ago, and while getting my hands on one was out of the question, the instructions were easy to find online. Turns out the model used the exact same mold as the Revell one, and the instructions included a color guide that helped me find the exact shades of gray used on the official thing. You’ve actually seen that gray paint in my F-16 and Fairey Swordfish models. It’s not the easiest paint to work with, but I was happy to have it and the decals. Between them, I had everything I really needed... except the model itself.

Unfortunately, 2023 didn’t have the best of starts for me, especially when it came to money. Long story short, my job started paying me late. Like, very late. Insultingly late. “Three months late” late. Although my family generously loaned me enough cash to make it through, it was a very upsetting era of getting paid, spending a third of it paying last month’s debts, then having to stretch what was left for two months until I got paid again and the cycle started again. It’s why I’m deeply indebted not just to my family, but also to the friend who sent me those old WWII models I posted about last time, since the frustration of having all these tools and nothing to use them on was really getting to me.

Eventually, in early March, I finally got paid and after clearing up a bunch of leftover debts, I said “Fuck it”. Whatever else was going on in my life, I decided I needed something to do other than worrying about money. The price of the kit had gone up since the last time I’d seen it, which was frustrating but also made the decision to buy it even easier. Get it now, before inflation made it any harder to grab. Unlike every other plane I’d built so far, I told nothing about it to my family. A part of me felt terribly guilty about it. Where did I get off, buying toy planes when less than two weeks ago I was asking my brother for grocery money? It was childish, irresponsible, and at the time, utterly necessary. I was increasingly feeling like I would go insane if I waited one more day.

Unfortunately, I’d still end up waiting one more week to really get started, since just as the kit arrived, my mom invited my brother and I to a short vacation trip. I knew I wasn’t going to be able to finish the kit, but by then I was so upset by the whole thing that I nonetheless spent an afternoon focused purely on the tailfins. Stupid as it sounds, I just... really needed it.

The trip was fine. Good times were had, new places were explored, mountains were hiked, and I can’t say I hated it or anything. But the closer we got to the end, the more I remembered those two tailfins drying out alone and the other 114 parts I hadn’t touched yet. It was late at night when I finally got back home, and that night I set everything up to get started first thing in the morning.

Unfortunately, that morning I woke up to a pretty troubling phone call. My dad had some health issues, and ten minutes later I was hailing a cab to go ride an ambulance with him to the hospital. I left home at around 9 AM that day, and only got back at 7:30 PM. He’s safe now and made a full, if lengthy recovery, but the days and weeks of having to be ready to drop everything and rush to the hospital to check on him quickly became grating. As with the trip, I found myself living for someone else, putting everything else I wanted to do on hold for the sake of others.

It didn’t last long. Once I was sure dad was out of danger and comfortable in the hospital, and once the rest of the family had started mobilizing to help, I once again said “Fuck it” and finally dove right into the Raptor, making it my personal anchor, a little thing I was making just for myself and nobody else.

The build started alright, but quickly ran into some trouble. A few of the parts were a hard fit, and the fuselage had gotten bent and warped a little in the box. Plus, I figured painting some of it would be a pain once the whole thing had been built, so I started painting some pieces as I went along. Which was absolutely the right choice, but it meant a fair bit of stop and go.

Something I did decide early on was to go “wheels up” with this one, not doing the landing gears. I figured an Ace Combat plane would be best displayed in flight, all weapons at the ready. I’m glad I made that call, because the build was already giving me enough headaches without the wheels.

Those little edges across the plane’s contour were particularly troublesome, since they required a lot of masking tape to work. I’m not terribly good at masking yet, and if you compare the two sides of the plane, you can tell. Still, it really was nice to see everything finally taking shape.

I also skimped on the armaments a little. The kit came with tons of decals for all the missiles, but I have a lot of trouble with the little stripe ones that usually go on them, and doing it for eight different missiles was daunting to say the least. I knew that alone was going to be a whole day’s worth of work. So I decided to save myself the trouble and just leave them like that.

The camo pattern, by comparison, was surprisingly easy to pull off. Using the paint guide from the official model, a couple of fine brushes and some very good gray paint, I did a much better job of it than the poor F-16.

The decals were a similar story. Funny enough, they actually came from three different sheets: the Raptor’s own, the Ace Combat one I’d bought off eBay, and that white marking in the center, which points to the Raptor’s fuel tank. Real Raptors use a different marking nowadays, but the one from Ace Combat 04 used this older model, which I got from the F-16′s sheet. In fact, that decal sheet was one of the reasons why I’d bought that specific F-16. By then I’d already decided to build Mobius-1, and I knew I’d be able to use that decal to give it that final touch.

Speaking of final touches, the panel lining also went shockingly well. This is one of the things I’ve gotten way better at, no longer having to rely on the sludge technique or anything. It’s still tricky and time consuming, but I can’t deny how much it improves a model, even when done sloppily. I also went and bought a box of transparent orange paint just for the cockpit, which in hindsight is... a little nuts. I have no idea what else I could possibly use that paint for, but I didn’t want this to be just another kit.

I left the weapon bays for last. Truth be told, I was a little terrified of them. Lots of small parts, two of which actually broke during the build and had to be tossed out. The end result is by no means perfect, and one of the side missiles is completely wrong, but by now I’ve learned to accept the small imperfections and let go of the things I can’t really fix (or am too scared to try). All poetry and self-improvement aside, I was squarely in that “let me just finish this” moment.

(It’s a good thing that I got the weapon bays done well too, because without a landing gear and a stand base, the plane currently rests on the bay doors. I should probably do something about that soon...)

Through the whole process, I still felt a few pangs of guilt over building this while dad was in the hospital. He wasn’t at risk or anything and I still made time to go see him, but there was enough shame to it that I didn’t really show the finished plane to any family member until about a week ago. And even then, I didn’t tell them when exactly I built it. As far as they know, I just willed it into existence in a couple days. It’s a terribly selfish thing to think, but after putting myself on hold for the sake of others in so many ways while also dealing with being routinely ignored by my work, having this one thing to make was important to me.

Eventually, the Raptor was finished. There’s a lot in it. Decals from three different sheets, paints and washes from about five different brands, a lot of material in general. There’s also a lot of me in it. Kid me, playing a 90s flight sim on an old Pentium and clumsily putting together cheap kits with cheaper glue, and adult me, falling hopelessly in love with a decades-old game series and comparing paint numbers to make sure I have the right shade of gray for the job. There’s some guilt and shame in it, but also pride and satisfaction. Even if I never built any other plane kits, I at least now had my Raptor. Not just a Raptor, or the Raptor, but my Raptor. With everything that entails.

(Also, you can’t understand how much I adore that the stabilizers are movable)

Things are getting better now. Dad’s way healthier and I’ve managed to more or less stabilize my finances, while also getting close to some new job offers. But for about a week, when everything else was a whirlwind of anxiety, this chunk of painted plastic was as good of an anchor as any. And I’m happy to say it’s not, in fact, the last kit I’ve made.

#My Stuff #Hobbies #Journals #This one gets a little personal too #Planes good #Ace Combat good #That's about all that really matters #Find some time for yourself

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deceasedream69 · 2 years

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Hey! Reqesting a Five H. x Harrington!Fem!Reader.

Anything is good, but i would love a fic where Five meets the reader's friends and brother, and he's all stressed bc of the approval of their relationship means a lot ot the reader so it means, it means a lot to five as well.

Meeting the fam

- "this is stupid", he said fixing his tie.

- "If it's so stupid why do you care so much about your appearance?", I turned to look at how he fixed his outfit.

- "presentation is always important. For both of us, come here", he said putting a strand of my hair behind my ear and kissing my cheek.

- "you're not going to bribe me into cancelling tonight"

- "I tried", he said walking faster.

We reached the restaurant, my siblings talking and drinking already.

I took five's hand before entering.

- "don't be nervous, they're really chill. And sometimes a little bit... Too much, just don't fight with them, please?"

He just stared at me.

- "pretty please?", I smiled awkwardly

- "I... I'll try", he said smiling.

We entered and went directly to the table, greeting everyone.

- "this is my boyfriend, Five", i nudge his arm and he smiled... Awkwardly but extra points for at least trying.

- "so, where's the rest of him?", Said my younger sister, she was like that with everyone.

I saw five get serious.

- "and where's your WHOLE partner?", I asked taking one of the glasses on the table.

The rest of my siblings laughed. Including Five.

- "nice to see you again after so long", replied my sister.

- "nice to see you haven't changed a bit", I said standing up to hug her.

After the whole apocalypse thing, twice, we haven't really talked. And they didn't exist in 1963 so...

- "and I also wanted you to meet my boyfriend", said my older brother.

We welcomed him too, he wasn't safe from my sister's jokes either.

The night was not so bad. Sometimes Five would grab my hand under the table, or put his hand on my thigh. Which let me know that he was a little nervous, but I always offered him a smile and hold his hand back to make him calm.

It worked most of the times. Until the last part.

- "I mean, you really want us to believe that you, I mean, you", said my little sister pointing at Five and me. "Saved the world in a year when we couldn't be there to check it was true. Interesting"

Five glared at her.

- "you? We don't need you to believe", I said taking Five's hand under the table.

- "I mean, I know we're all thinking it", she said turning to look at our two brothers and my older brother's partner.

- "not really", said my brother y/b/n, he was a year older the me, and two years younger than my older brother.

- "right, this was a wonderful dinner, but I'm afraid we should get going, right angel?", Said Five turning to look at me.

- "sure", I said smiling at him.

He took my hand and after paying our part we leaved the restaurant, but not in a normal way, Five turned to look at my sister and teleported us out of the restaurant. I could feel five's breathing going back to normal.

- "well that was interesting", he said putting his arm around my shoulder.

- "I'm sorry for my sister", I said laying my head on his shoulder.

- "she seemed very interesting, a little jealous maybe"

I laughed.

- "yeah... She's never had anything good happening in her life... I kinda feel sad for her"

- "besides, I have to thank your brothers, if it wasn't for tonight's dinner I wouldn't seen you in such a pretty dress", he said smirking.

- "I could say the same about your suit but, you know, I always have that privilege" i kissed his cheek.

The end.

A/n: I don't know wtf I just wrote. I kind of zone out while my hands move lmaooo, but if you want me to make another on or change something let me know xo

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popculturebuffet · 9 months

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Pirate Week Finale: The Pirates: In An Adventure with Scientists: The Book: A Rope of Sand (Comission for WeirdKev27)

Hello all ye happy swabs and welcome to the finale of pirate three days in a clump. And I saved something special for it: So last year pirate month, I watched Pirates!:in an adventure with scientists, the aardman cult classic based on GIdeon Defoe's series of novels, specifically the first one with the same name. At least in the uk over here it was band of misfits because Sony Pictures had a case of the stupids back then, also editing out some more adult jokes that kids would not have noticed, come on.

The film was fantastic, a fun film, one of aardman's best and so much better on rewatch. So naturally I was now curious to check out the books, which I didn't even know existed before the review and which Kev was a big fan of. And in his Kev way, he went a tad overboard but in a very kind way: He sent me the ENTIRE series to review at some point, and still is paying to commission them. What a guy. So each pirate month and outside of that when it fits, we'll be looking at this fine series. I also plan to get my hand on Defoe's other books, because I really liked this one.

As i'm not really attempting to hide, Pirates! BOM is a good a book as it is a movie. This isn't a huge suprise as not only did the film had aardman but much like Douglas Adams and Brian Lee O'Malley he kept a close eye on his masterwork by working on the film, doing the screenplay. As a result the film really does keep the tone of this book perfectly, with several scenes directly transplanted: the pirate captain's introduction, the airship joke about it being "used to look down ladies tops" (And the payoff later with the albino pirate proving it's indeed true), the pirates love of ham, it's all there. That being said what I found fascinating is that, much like those authors I mentiond while they worked on the adaptations closesly they also made sure it was a distinct work of it's own. As such while there are similarties in the plot, most notably charles darwin being the featured guest for this adventure, our heroes dressing up as scientests, mr bobo and his unsightly ass, almost everything else is diffrent.. but still prettty dang good. And you can sea what I mean under the cut.

I coudln't find anything on why this book exists and any interviews with defoe I could find were in audio form and this review is behind enough as is. Thankfully it's the last one i'm behind on and hopefully i'll finally have a resonable schedule again this week. What I can tell is he's a very funny man, is still active on twitter (I refuse to use X both because X dosen't belong to them but mutantkind and a certain reploid, and because it's just.. stupid. It's hilariously stupid. ) , and has his heart in the right place.

That said the book itself.. is brilliant. The style is hilarious and it's clear DeFoe was inspired by an idol after my own heart, Terry Pratchett. For those unware of him... Sir Terry was a fantasy juggernaught who wrote the hilarious and heartfelt discworld series, one of my faviorites and one i'm not even close to having read all of. Like DeFoe here sir terry took a genre and made a world that's one giant weird spoof of it while also including bhits of modern life (scaled for the time period) and used footnotes for laughs. In Gideons case he's aware kids are one of his audiences so he includes educational footnotes, some actually helpful, but most hilarious while also usually being helpful in some way, adding history to a work that blatantly laughs at the idea of being historically accurate: the pirate captain uses post its, one of the pirates plays murder she wrote on his acordion, there's no attempt whatosever ot be historically accurate and it's happy that way, while still showing Defoe clearly loves history and still throwing bits of actual history in there.

As for the plot itself the book, like the film it follows the dread and loveable Pirate Captain and his misfit crew who at this point have been on a bunch of adventures we've never seen and never will, love ham and are a jolly and loveable sort despite still running through people and gladly walking members of the plank they've run out of use for. The Pirate Captain is a boisterious sort who knows way less than he thinks he does, has a giant ego and the attention span of a me, but his men do love him and he dearly loves them.

Other notable pirates in this version are the pirate with a scarf, his best friend, first mate and the one who keeps most things running. In a refshing change of pace for this sort of dynamic, Pirate Captain , while trying not to show it too hard, KNOWS he needs pirate with a scarf and treats him accordingly, even giving the man full repsect. He'll cheat the guy at mini golf but goes out of his way to save him because he knows he needs PWAS and clearly loves the guy. There's also the albino pirate from the film if less prominent and pirate iwth an acordion, the only one to really factor into the plot. The rest are just a jolly bunch of weird man children.

The book starts with the group just riffing a bit, debating over what's best about being a pirate (And I have to agree with the captain, the shanties. ) , how to cook ham and just having a lot of fun. There's also a lot of talk of how to get girls, mention of gay pirates that's suprisingly not nearly as bad as you'd expect from a 2000's written farce, and some other nonsense till the plot kicks in. That's really the vibe of this book: while there is a plot, it's just there as a thin spine for nonsense, to move our heroes from one set piece to another. It still has progression but there's a lot of bits we'll get to that don't really advance the plot that much or coudl've been cut out.. but are just too funny NOT to. DeFoe , unlike pratchett, focuses less on comedy through plot and more just rediculous set pieces and clever banter. It's the books charm: it's just a lot of really funny , clever nonsense stacked on top of each other like a bunch of pirate children in a pirate trenchcoat.

So to get to our next set comedy bit, the pirates are invited by their old foe black belamy for a feast. Pirates really like their feasting here. Belamy, like the movie is Pirate Captain's main rival though here he's got a much diffrent vibe: while he's still a scoundrel her prefers to scheme and manipulate for his very short screentime rather than be a bullying dude bro. I mean not being played by Jeremy Piven helps.

At any rate Belamy challenges the pirate captain to cards.. and then looses. Really badly. He only manages to not loose all his money by bartering the location of a ship from the bank of england.. and given the title you can probably guess that it's the beagle, Charles Darwin's ship.

We also get something that was phased out of the aardman version as it just didn't fit their style when the pirates raid Darwin's ship: out and out murder. While the animated film wasn't above dark comedy or the ocasoinal bawdy joke, the book has a LOT more death. Most of it works: we get a love triangle between Darwin and his first mate FitzRoy... only for the object of it to get suddenly cannonballed to death; This itself.. would not be funny and would be kinda gross... if it werne't ofr the fact the two just patch up their feud so casually afterwords. It's so fucked up it works and that's how it works for most gags like this: the pirates later just.. walk a bunch of them off the plank as it's a normal thing they do.

The one time it really, really REALLY dosen't, is with the monkeys. You.. might want to skip to the puffy kitty to avoid reading about this portion. So... the pirates cut open the monkeys thinking their full of treasure. That's it... I'll spare you the gruesome details but it's just.. not funny and just gross and depressing. The joke to it just isn't funny.

Okay we're clear. Shockingly in contast to the film despite this version of Pirate Captain being a tad more ruthless (he's way more willing to threaten with his cutlass).. he's more than happy to help darwin out of the kindness of his heart. Darwin's dillema is diffrent here. Here instad of not really taking off Mr. Bobo, his monkey he's trained with cards to talk, is working well.. too well. The Bishop of Britan wants him to stop it and has kindapped his brother erasamus to try and get Darwin to stop. So with that our heroes set off to london Before arriving though we get some fun hyjinks as Darwin is utterly annoyed at the pirates stopping off for an arcade then pirate themed mini golf. The pirates short attention span and the pirate captain's blatant cheating is just.. gold.

Then in london we get them disgusing themselves as scientests which is a lot of fun before PIrate Captain. .actually has a plan. The bishop recently bought PT Barnum's circus, complete with the Elephant Man. Sadly this did not make it into the greatest showman. So PC sends his number 2 pirate with a scarf and pirate with an accordion because they need more than one to go investgiate while he hits up the local pirate convention.. which shockingly depsite all indications.. isn't a trap. It's a nice swerve, it's really just a modern fan convention but for pirates, with PC's old friend Scruvy Jake setting him up with a booth and PC buying pirate merch and likely running more than a few annoying fans through with a broadsword. Ther'es also your standard con jokes from a 2000's work: it being mostly men, annoying questions, models and such.. all pretty trite for a book that's mostly pretty funny. There's also a joke I HOPE isn't transphobic where Scurvy Jake apologizes for a previous adventure with "I could've sworn those were womeN'

Just.. no Gideon. No. Even for 2004.. no.

While/before all this is going on, order really dosen't matter here, Pirate with Acrodion meets a girl, they have some realy nice times but sadly she's just not into him. She is hliarious though, especially when talking to the elephant man and not getting that no, tha'ts just a cruel nickname he's not elephant related. We also get a SONG from him that's pure gold.

I look like some ex-pe-ri-ment! But please believe me i'm a proper gent! I seem like a monster, but what you don't know is I got a scorching case of neurofibromitosis!

Someone anyone.. please sing that for me. Our heroe snaturally wind up kidnapped.. except pirate with an acordion. While he catches up later he also quickly dies from scurvy. We get another of the best bits in the book when they confront the bishop.. not on turning ladies into soap so he can maintain his youth. I mean that's bad but our heroes are more concerned he's not taking them out to a proper dinner and instead kidnapping them with his creepy circus. Just the way he goes on about how he TRIES to take them out, even gives them his best evil laugh but they never go home with him is so fucking good. We also get some great cutaways of Pirate with a Scarf, Jennifer and Erasmus, who happens to be on the same death trap inside big ben pirate with a scarf's been strapped to playing animal vegetable or mineral. Back with Pirate Captain after meeting with Scruvy Jake, and figuring his first mate's been kidnapped, he comes up with a plan. So I present to you one of the funneist things i've ever experinced: He says the bishop has been spreading rumors of the HOLY GHOST ITSLEF coming to attack darwin for his theories being too blasphemous, figuring Darwin's presentation of mr bobo needs a bit of pagentry and luring the bishop out. He then has scurvy jake, whose implied to have gitantisim, put on a bed sheet, and put Charles Darwin through a table, wrassling style. I also like the foot note here, which not only mentions how dangerous wrestling is for actual professionals but uses Mick Foley as the perfect example. For those not aware of him

Mick is both one of the most decorated wrestlers the WCW, ECW, TNA and especailly WWE has seen, but he also put his body thorugh ABSOLUTE HELL, loosing multiple teeth, getting embeded with tacks and being in regular pain due to the shit he's done. Even Vince McMahon whose neglagance has caused countless tragedies told mick after his utterly brutal hell in a cell match with the undertaker "NEVER DO SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN'. Kindly because mick was half dead at that point, and for vince that says a lot. Especially since years later he'd do the holy ghost thing but for realizes. No really vince mccmahon booked a match with "Me and the product of my semen shane" versus you (born again christan wrestler Shawn Micheals) and your god".

Anyway Mr Bobo wins via folding chair as does science and Darwin decides to spruce up his presetnation in the future william castle style. Before he can though our heroes have to head for the rescue. We get an utterly amazing fight between Pirate Captain and the Bishop, who throws troglodites at him like discus and the two later fight with precious metals and recite their atomic weights.

After Bobo saves PC at the last second our heros commender the airship.. and in a great bit not only have the rest of the crew been wearing dinosaur masks and goofing off in the gift shop but many keep them on during the raid, leading to one of my faviorite lines in anything ever.

"Dino-pirates! It's my worst nightmare!"

I sometimes get burnt out on this job, get exausted. The falling behind, the large amount of for hire work.. but it's lines like this that remind me both why it's worth it and why for hire work is worth it: i likely never would've read this glorious sentence without having been paid to review the movie last year.

Our heroes manage to save the rest of our heroes in time, Pirate Captain hooks up with jennifer, Pirate iwth a scarf is relieved, and our heroes sail off, with the pirate captain having gotten some precious metal in his beard. They also abandon the bishop on an island, though he gets to take 8 records and 8 books of his choice. Just don't do robison curose. it's cliche.

As should be obvious.. this book is fucking fantastic and if you can get a copy, do. It's hilarious from start to finish, creative an da really brisk read at only 130 pages. I look forawrd to whenever I return to this series next. This was really fantastic stuff. Thanks for reading.

#pirate months #pirates band of misfits #pirates in an adventure with scientists #gideon defoe #pirates #books #aardman

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itisaterriblelove · 11 months

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TYLER ISABELLA MCCLAIN. She was wearing some jeans that made her ass look perfect and an oversized hoodie that screamed she didn’t really care whether she looked hot or not. This girl was my walking wet dream—From the way she moved, to the sound of her voice, the shape of her body, the taste of her lips. Everything about her was coming up perfect and it was really throwing me off my game.

Usually at this state in a relationship, I was finding those little imperfections that spoke to me about why being single was better. Which made me seem like a complete asshole, I fucking realize, but the truth was that I had never had a bad break-up in my entire life. So that had to count for something.

Every single one of my exes was still my friend, at least on some level, and it wasn’t even weird. I sure as shit wasn’t spending my Friday nights with them, but hey, I wouldn’t duck and run if we ran into each other on the street either.

Still, though, Tyler outclassed my exes by about a thousand miles. There was just something about her that left me a little bit breathless. And, yeah, okay, that worried the shit out of me. But I was trying to take it in stride.

I plopped down into the chair beside her and rested my elbows on the round table in front of us with a sigh. “Please tell me you come bearing Government notes?” I shot a pleading grin at her, then leaned over to drop a quick kiss on her lips. It was stupid—that kiss part—not because it was weird to kiss my girlfriend. But because I’d done it just to send a message, and I knew it.

Tyler had walked in to the tail-end of a dress rehearsal for the band, and there was some niggling cave-man part of me that wanted Dade and the other guys to know that Tyler was my girl. It became stupider once you knew that Dade was still in high-school and definitely not any competition for Tyler’s affection, and worse because everyone already knew we were dating. But I had seen the way that the drummer could sometimes look at her. And, hell, I couldn’t say I blamed him. But still.

I had never been the jealous, territorial type in my entire fucking life. For some reason being with Tyler was starting to bring it out in me.

Or maybe there was some merit to the idea that people got crazier as they aged. Who fucking knew.

“Like I would leave you stranded.” She shot a smile at me that practically made me feel lightheaded. Damn but this girl was beautiful.

Tyler pulled up her messenger bag and flipped it open, searching through for her notes. They were color-coded and easy to follow, which made understanding what the hell was going on a hundred times easier than the textbook.

“You’re my lifesaver! You know that, right?” I almost kissed her again, but I reigned in the urge at the last second. I really did need those damn Government notes. I’d skipped the lecture to make rehearsal, and I already wasn’t doing so hot in that class.

It was the only class that Tyler and I shared, because she was an underclassman and I was an underachiever. It was also how we’d met. I’d sat next to her—for obvious reasons—and she’d taken pity on me once she saw how much I seemed to hate it; after that we became study partners.

Okay, maybe I had ulterior motives from the beginning but she doesn’t have to know that. She really was helping me pass the class. And that was something I definitely needed if my parents were going to continue to float my ass through college and pay my rent for me.

I recognized I was living a spoiled kid’s dream life, and I embraced it for what it was. One day R!OT would have a record deal and I’d be a famous guitarist, living off of a tour bus, and seeing the world. Shit, every asshole who could strum a guitar in the world probably thought the exact same thing. But this band was the real deal and, honestly, it was only a matter of time with us. We all knew that.

A matter of time and my baby brother finishing his business degree so he could properly manage us. Adam was only about a year out from that goal and making it all happen, and then my life could really begin. I was counting down the days on my calendar.

Until then I planned to milk this college thing for all it was worth with my General Education major and my mediocre grades. I was only mildly fucking ashamed of this, and only sometimes. Every other day of the week it was just something that I shrugged at. Garrett and Amy—my parents—had tolerated my rock-star ambitions only so far, and then they’d made me promise to try the college thing before making up my mind.

I loved them, but they just didn’t fucking understand.

Tyler grinned at me as I flipped through the two pages of her handwritten notes, skimming over her neat handwriting. “Thank you, Ty.” I shook my head at her to emphasize how much I meant it, and she shrugged like it was no big deal. “How was your day?”

She grabbed her coffee and sipped from the cup, hesitating before she answered. Which told me more about her day than anything else. “It was fine.” She tried to smile but it didn’t quite meet her eyes, so I knew something was up.

“Uh-huh.” I wasn’t really one to press a point, especially if someone seemed not to want to talk about something. But I’d had more than enough girlfriends in my lifetime to know that wasn’t always the right move. Most of the girls I’d dated in the past liked to have information pried from them, with a lot of questions and prodding and shit. Tyler wasn’t one of those girls, though. She wasn’t anything like that. So I deliberated for a moment before deciding that I genuinely wanted to know.

If something was bothering her then I wanted to hear about it.

“What does fine mean? Looks like you’ve got something on your mind.”

She smiled again, but this one was better. A lot less forced. “Yeah.” She put her coffee on the table and leaned back in her chair, stretching. “I got partnered with this asshole for a Biology project. So I’m not too thrilled about that.”

I wasn’t a rescuing damsels, macho kind-of guy… So it took me by surprise when my first instinct was to feel a little ruffled on her behalf. But, shit, honestly I’d never heard Tyler complaining about anyone before. She was so easy-going, so completely uncomplicated. Very live and let live. So this was new.

I must have had some kind of expression on my face because she quickly amended. “It’s nothing I can’t handle.” And then she shrugged, so I figured she probably didn’t want to delve into details about it.

“That sucks, baby.” I commiserated, because one of my exes—Jamie Lynn—had told me that sometimes a girl just wanted to be heard. Whatever the fuck that meant. “So did you hear any of the set?” I tactfully changed the subject. “How’d we sound?”

“Yeah, I did,” she grinned, adjusting her messenger bag and dropping it back to the floor at her feet. “You guys sound amazing. I’ll be the first in line to get my CD signed, knocking fangirls out of the way so I can get to Aidan.” She chuckled and I shot her a glare, my mouth dropping open at her teasing.

“Hey, now.” I clutched at my chest in mock-pain. Aidan was the lead guitarist, my roommate Clay was bass, and I filled in the gaps. “That hurts, girl.”

Tyler chuckled. “I meant Cressida. You know, since she’s got the best hair and all.”

It was a running argument in the band over who had the best hair… One that Tyler damn well knew about. And it was definitely me, by the fucking way. My hair was this awesome sandy blonde storm that curled when it was long and waved when it was short, and was fucking softer than a teddy bear’s. So fuck you. But yeah…

I shook my head at Tyler and blew out a slow breath. “We might have to break up.”

Cressida’s hair was always dyed a new color every time I looked at her, and it was all right, but it wasn’t as cool as mine. She liked to roll tape on her microphone that matched her hair color, and I thought that was just showing the fuck off. But whatever.

Tyler laughed harder and leaned over to wrap her arms around my neck. She tried to kiss me but I dodged, fighting back a smile, so she just peppered my face instead.

Damn but this girl was cute, and I could not stop noticing it for the fucking life of me.

#my art #pleasant valley girls #forever girl #fg ch02 #gavin x tyler #my writing #okay from sketch to lined to color...#takes a stupid amount of time #so #this gon be slow #oh #also #excessive swearing #bc it's gavin #so there's that

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theimpossiblescheme · 2 years

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Another shorter piece inspired by @the-cat-at-the-theatre-door for Jelly’s day--I’ve had this idea kicking around in my head for a while, and I hope everyone likes it!

Her writer was still clicking away on that typewriter of his. Day in and day out, always by the same window overlooking the rose garden… he always seemed to get stuck on the same page, too, pulling out the paper and crumpling it up and starting again. Just like humans, wasn’t it, to insist on the silliest things? Any cat could do it better in a few hours, simply by walking across the keys just so, but her writer never seemed to think of the obvious things. He just spent a few more hours clicking away.

Of course, he wasn’t really her writer. But he’d almost been. Once upon a time.

Jellylorum had tried to be a proper housecat, she really had. She knew how to use a litter box and eat out of a ceramic dish and play without using her claws too much. And she hadn’t been much fuss, or at least she’d tried not to be. All she needed was a patch of sunlight and a few scraps of fish when she could get them, and she was happy. It was a lovely house, too—all blue with painted flowers and animals and bright curtains adorning every window. Apparently, he’d tried to be an artist first, but there hadn’t been any money in it, which never made any sense to Jelly. Why on earth would anyone pay money for art? Did humans pay money to sing, too, or dance or have any fun at all? Why put something so beautiful, so essential, behind a way of nonsense papers and numbers? Then again, she’d never pretended to understand why humans did anything, so why start now? She only watched curiously as he took up writing instead, making a corner of his bedroom into a little office space and filling notebooks with ideas every night. Before he went to bed, her writer would tell her about his future creations, every story and character he wanted to share with the world, and she listened raptly. Even if she couldn’t quite follow every word he said, she still hung on them—he was excited, so she was excited, and it brought to mind every fairy tale and adventure epic her parents had told her as a kitten. When he turned out the light, Jelly curled up at the end of his bedspread and went to sleep, content as she’d ever been. For a time.

She’d tried to stay there. Tried to tell herself she would never want for more. But every cat’s feet start to itch if they can’t find enough roads and pathways, and that was how she found the Junkyard again. She’d been several times as a kitten, and it was astounding how little it had changed. There was the same broken-down old car, the same tire propped up on cinder blocks, the same stringy clothesline stretching high above the wall… it felt like a time capsule. Except the inhabitants had changed. Her father was still there and her brother and sister, and so was dearest Jenny from across the way who always smelled like kitchens and tap shoe polish. And there were so many kittens. She couldn’t turn a corner without hearing a little voice, making her heart swell every time. One kitten in particular, a silvery tom with black stripes and the most serious eyes she had seen in anyone so young, liked nothing more than to sit with her and Asparagus whenever he couldn’t find anyone to play with. Eventually Jenny, Hathor, and Skimble would join them, and they became a little council of six. Demeter and Bombalurina also needed someone to play with, so Jelly and Jenny would take her off for an explore, mostly to spare Asparagus’s poor nerves. Occasionally, kittens would just turn up as well, and they would need to be assigned a den to sleep in… Jelly had shared a blanket in an old rusty pram with so many shivering little ones. She had lullabies for all of them, and some of them learned the words well enough to sing along, even if she had to explain what they meant. And every moment she was away, she worried about them. Were they getting enough to eat, were they getting along with the other kittens, were Demeter’s ankles any better after she’d twisted them dancing…?

The longer she was away, the guiltier she felt. Of course, she loved her home with her writer… but the Junkyard was home, too. Every time she approached the gates, it was as if that entire corner of the street sang out to her. I’ve been waiting for you—did you not hear me calling?

She was needed there. Too many cats relied on her, not just her blood family, for her to stay away too long.

Her writer… could get along just fine. He was an adult, perfectly independent and devoted to his work. If anything… if anything, she would be one less thing for him to worry about.

If she’d been a little more heartless, she would have just disappeared one day and never come back. But even if her writer could get along just fine, Jelly just wanted to make sure. So she made a tradition of sitting between the bushes of his garden and sitting, peacefully lulled by the clacking of typewriter keys. Every Saturday, when she knew he would be home. She still wore his collar around her neck as well, a very simple band of braided leather. Even after years and years, it still smelled like ink stains and rose petals, and she kept breathing in the scent… it was hard to explain, but it comforted her. As long as the scent remained, his roses still grew tall and lovely, and his typewriter kept clacking away. Never letting up for a moment. All was well.

There had once been a little yellow charm hanging from the collar. She’d worn that for many years, too, even if the name on it wasn’t quite right. But shortly before her son was born, Jelly knew she wouldn’t be able to visit her writer for some time. This next visit—the last one until Jenny was through nursing and Mungojerrie could walk by himself and eat solid food—would have to be special. So before she left that final time, she dug a small hole beside the biggest rosebush and buried her charm, patting the dirt carefully over it when she was finished. Above her, her writer never stopped for a second. The keys tapped to the beat of an imaginary song, one only he could hear. The struggle of the old torn-out page was gone now, and she could tell from the steady rhythm across this new page that he’d hit upon something brilliant.

He wouldn’t even notice Jelly had been there. But she had left him something to remember her by.

#Showering a second round of love on my girl after yesterday's playlist <3 #cats the musical #jellylorum #fanfic #oldiesweek

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meganmackieauthor · 3 months

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I Can't Get the Vampire Rogue to Romance Me - Ch 2

Chapter 2

“Ugh.” The being before her groaned and dropped his hands with disgust. ”You are going to make this unnecessarily difficult, aren’t you?”

She cocked her head to the side warily. “No. I mean, I’m not trying to,” she looked back over her shoulder at the grid still floating in the air. “It’s just really hard to take a dream seriously when… when…” But she just couldn’t be sure this was a dream. This all felt too … real. Absurd, but real.

“What… what’s happened to me? I feel like I’ve fallen into a… a coma or something.”

“Stop talking,” the being commanded, his voice reverberating with power louder than a thunderclap.

Evangeline dropped to the ground, covering her ears with her hands, only lifting her head when the vibrations in the ground abated. A little more respectfully, she glanced up at the being still hovering before her.

He frowned down on her and floated closer.

“I, little mortal, am your god. You are my chosen hero, brought here to do my will and fulfill my quest. Now if you are perfectly done making a fool of yourself, we must finish your stats so you may begin your quest. Now stand up, you look like a frog crouched like that.”

He floated around and gestured at the stat table floating before her. “I assume you understand what you are looking at here, your very typical basic stats: Strength, Constitution, Dexterity, etc. You’ve also got your list of skills. At least the basic ones. These will go up in percentage points the more you use them, and you have plenty of room to add skills as you find them. You’ll be starting with these. I based them on what you are already able to do, you know, because you are not a complete idiot. But once you pick your class, the rest will fill in with the first level. Now this, you need to pay the most attention to.”

He floated around the table and tapped on the box labeled Special Skill: Meta Knowledge. “This is my special gift to you, my chosen. Not only are you bringing in your base skills, but you will also have access to everything you know about your quest.” He smiled like he had eaten the cat who had eaten the canary. That was when Evangeline realized his teeth were all very pointy.

Evangeline flinched back. “I… I’m sorry. I don’t understand.”

“Oh, I’m sure you don’t, but you’ll figure it out as you go along. Now, what do you say?”

“Uh…” Evangeline stood there blinking, her brain going blank. “I…”

He gestured “come on” with his hand.

“Thhhhhank you?” she ventured.

“Meta,” he finished for her. “Thank you, my lord and god, Meta.”

Evangeline’s brows knitted together. “Well… then shouldn’t your name be Mark Zuckerberg?”

“What?” the god being cried, again with the booming voice, though this one didn’t nearly blow out her ears.

She waved her hands before herself. “Uh, never mind. Bad joke.”

Meta’s gaze sharpened. “Oh, come on,” he whined, “You know, you are surprisingly ungrateful for the gift I am bestowing on you. I am making your dearest heart’s wish come true.”

She didn’t know what to say to that.

Then suddenly, the wind stirred up around her, making the grass and trees waver violently all round. Meta disappeared, but she could still hear his voice; though, it was becoming less petulant and more detached. “Choose your class.”

“I…” Evangeline wished she knew what was going on.

“Hurry,” Meta’s voice urged.

“Uh, Rogue!” she shouted, the wind stirring up worse, her hair whipping across her face, blocking her sight. The grove disintegrated around them, but the table remained. Underneath her name, another line appeared. Class: Rogue. Race: Human.”

Other things began to fill in on the graph, but Evangeline couldn’t see at all anymore. The wind was picking her up and tumbling her around. With so much spinning, Evangeline thought she was going to be sick. Finally, she became aware of her body straightening out and being still as everything resolved away. The chaos calmed and reorganized and then … manifested.

She had no other word for it.

Wood walls with thick logged rafters coalesced all around into a twenty by thirty room. A large stone fireplace filled one wall, and a fire erupted inside it. Tables, chairs, and a bar filled up the rest of the space. Plates of food and mugs of drink covered them all. Then there were the people, occupying those liminal spaces. A curtain dropped down beside Evangeline that partly obscured her from the room as well as the table and people sitting at it.

“Ah, yes, there you are. We’ve been waiting for you,” said a man with a deep baritone.

Evangeline blinked, trying to refocus her eyes as she took in the rather large person who certainly did not skimp on dessert or alcohol, sitting on the far side of the table. If it wasn’t for the person playing the lute in the corner or the very pseudo-medieval sheen on everything, she would have sworn she had fallen into a mafia movie instead of… whatever this was.

Yet, as she took it all in, she confirmed for herself that she recognized it.

I’ve fallen into the game, she thought. There was no other explanation. This was the starting spiel that got it all going, where the player comes and takes an offer, they can’t refuse to do the initial quest that sends them off to the greater adventure in the game—the Race for the Phoenix Egg.

Everyone wanted it. Apparently, it gave the ultimate prize, one perfect wish, but Evangeline had never finished the game. A wish that gave you exactly what you wanted, not a tricky careful-what-you-wish-for sort of wish. A real one that could rewrite everything. It had never really mattered to Evangeline. A McGuffin was still a McGuffin. It wasn’t what she loved about this game. It was the characters and how they interacted. It was the encounters and most importantly…

A high-pitched peel of laughter cut across the room, drawing her attention straight to it.

And most importantly it was about Valerian, the vampire rogue, who had stolen her heart.

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#baldur's gate 3 #litrpg #meganmackie

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