#because I could survive

[malinaa]

if i think about the hunger games in peeta's perspective i WILL start sobbing

#imagine you're a boy who's going to die. you're in love with the girl you've been watching from afar. you know your fate. #you just want to help her‚ but then there's the announcement and she's here in front of you‚ kissing you‚ risking her life for you and you #think‚ i could live and i could love. you think she loves you when she hands you the berries‚ when she puts them in her mouth. #then you both survive and you go back home and nothing is real anymore. you have nothing. no family. no friends. no love. just an empty #house. a drunk for a neighbor. the love of your life walking into somebody else's arms. you think‚ i survived the games. i could survive #this. and you also think‚ i should've bit down on those berries‚ should've felt the juice burst before i died. #and then the third quarter quell announcement rings in your ears and you think‚ she will live and i will die as i should have in the first #place. the girl you love kisses you on the beach and somewhere you heart stirs and your mind revolts and you savor every touch she has ever #given to you‚ in front of the cameras and off. because you are a tribute and you are always being watched and snow's presence looms and #you think‚ i know she cares. but you get taken. you get drugged. you get tortured‚ your mind altered. the girl is a mutt‚ a murderer. she's #everything you despise‚ your mind stirs. your heart revolts. you gain more awareness but cannot distinguish reality from fiction and you #have never known katniss' love. the war ends. you heal. you come home. you plant primrose for her. years down the line‚ you grow in love #more than you thought possible. but some days‚ you cannot tell fiction from reality so you ask the love of your life‚ you love me. #real or not real? and she says‚ real‚ and kisses you. #and you sigh and kiss her back and revel in this. a home. a life. a love. #lit #the hunger games #everlark #otp: real or not real? #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #text #tais toi lys #thgpost

[imagine-too-many-books]

Imagine Annabeth and Percy have a kid early, unplanned and it kinda fucks with their finances so Percy drops out of school to get a job so he can care for the kid and support Annabeth in school. At first he gets a job teaching kids sword fighting but then he hears about underwater welding which pays well because it’s dangerous but Percy is a child of the sea so it’s much less so for him. His boss is even willing to give him flexible hours which means Annabeth doesn’t have to take their kid to class anymore and they can actually afford daycare (why does is it the price of a mortgage nowadays???). A huge financial burden is lifted and Percy doesn’t mind the work so it’s good all the way around.

Fast forward to when Annabeth is done her masters in architecture and lands a job at a top firm. They’ve got savings and have Annabeth’s income to rely on. Percy heads back to school and finishes a degree in marine biology, going on to research some really niche topics like how underwater welding impacts the environment and shifting from there until he’s a well known expert in the field.

Just them finding their way. Supporting each other and landing on their feet no matter what

#i really like the idea of Percy having a non-linear path through school to a career #he’s 17 #just because Annabeth knows what she wants to do doesn’t mean he does #let him find his path #also if Percy and Annabeth had an accidental baby #(completely possible once they’re at New Rome though I do believe they’re careful and responsible about it) #and if they couldn’t survive with the baby on scholarships + Fredrick’s money for Annabeth + what little Sally and Paul can spare #I think Percy would be the one to drop out for a full time job #and then go back to school once they’re stable #also I just generally think Percy would be the primary parent so Annabeth could really pursue her career #and because Annabeth’s job probably pays more and has more earning potential #percy and annabeth #percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo #percabeth #post HoO

[markscherz]

Just learned that tadpoles with injured tails sometimes regenerate them with extra legs

[src]

So that's neat.

#the more you know #frogs #science #animals #zoology #developmental biology #holy shit #this is called a homeotic transformation #and I think I have only really heard about them in fruitflies #so seeing it in frogs really fucked me up #how incredibly cool #I always thought the creatures from Pandora could not exist in vertebrates #because homeotic transformations in the *middle* of the trunk were basically impossible to achieve in a survivable manner #but it had not occurred to me that you could just… add more to the end #this changes everything

[artharakka]

Beautiful, But Broken

#bg3 #tiefling #tw blood #c: Viivi #so I redid my bg3 character because I wasn't feeling durge that much. So now my sibling does durge and I regular tav Viivi #(changed her to tiefling for funs) #at least I meant to do regular tav but uhhhhh things have gone very unfortunately very fast #anyway. Viivi is an artist; she does painting sculpting poetry and some prose. Experimenting with this and that #unfortunately she is deaf which made making connections a bit hard in the fine arts world #fortunately she has a patreon with one very generous patron (she's fey warlock)✨ who has bestowed some gifts of charms for her #which have opened doors of many art galleries #She's not a fighter so although she is confident in her own lane she is also very aware of her mortality #so she avoided any fights she could #which might have saved her but also got her into the mess of her lifetime #you see she couldn't fight the entire goblin camp and their leaders. She would've just not survived that. So she convinced them #that she is a True Soul. She is good at convincing people. It worked. They thought she is on their side. Good #Halsin also though Viivi was on their side. Halsin attacked Viivi's party. Now Halsin is dead. #So Viivi and her group were still alone deep within enemy fort. Viivi made new plans. She frees the prisoner who says he will warn the grov #Good thinks Viivi now they know to flee. I will go to Minthara and tell we got the information from prisoner of the grove location #she will trust us and we walk off #when we get back to grove they have not fled and Minthara is at the gates #Minthara wants Viivi to sound the horn. Zevlor wants Viivi to sound the horn. Viivi asks Zevlor to please tell this plan in detail. #Zevlor says just blow the horn already. Viivi does that. Minthara thanks Viivi for leaving the gate open as planned #Zevlor does not thank Viivi for that. Viivi is confused as she did not leave the gate open. (for real the damn gate was left open) #So I did a Massacre. #now Karlach is gone Wyll is dead. Lae'zel is also dead #but apparently Minthara is ready to be very loving and sincere with Viivi. The most helpful person she has met in very long time. #Viivi might love her #so that is how she's doing.

[hedgehog-moss]

Behold, the world's laziest llamas.

It's not that I interrupted their late afternoon nap and they didn't bother to get up for dinner. I brought hay and then they decided to lie down to have dinner in bed.

Pirlouit kept glancing at me like "Say something. They are being disrespectful. To hay."

Look at his annoyed ears <3 This donkey is old-fashioned when it comes to table manners and he's not afraid to show it. I'm going to translate his inner muttering

back in my day young ladies who wouldn't behave properly at dinner were simply sent to their room. I don't exactly blame Poldine it's not her fault that she was raised dreadfully but look at Pampe!!!! an adult. putting her NECK in my FOOD. her whole neck like it's a spring roll she's dipping in sauce. i can't even bear to look is she still doing it??

#crawling along #pampelune is not in these photos because the second 1 millimetre of new grass emerges in the spring she #starts acting like she's always despised hay actually #which is a bit vexing. you've relied on it (and me) to survive all winter. you could be more gracious #but no suddenly she's like ok great thx. i don't need you anymore. you and your ''hay''

[myoonmii]

I think the downright most horrific and brutal detail in the show is that Kilgharrah actually used Merlin to make sure Arthur's death happened with the pretence of protecting him

#kilgharrah when i catch you #this is why merlins “ i failed? ” destroyed me to my core #you were never supposed to succeed love #I honestly believe Kilgharrah knew Arthur was supposed to die at Camlaan and just wanted to make sure he didn't die BEFORE that #thats why he was like ooh but Merlin you must protect him and make sure he survives ( until its the convenient time) #and merlin genuinely thought he could protect Arthur until the end #say what you want about Kilgharrah and what his intentions might be behind this but this is SO FOUL #and now Merlins waiting for Arthurs return for a thousand years on Kilgharrah's word alone because thats the only hope he has #what else can he do #lets just hope he's right this time #bummed my self out with this thought while doing my class work #merlin #bbc merlin #merthur #cannot take much more of this guys send help

[thebrainrotsreal]

EVIL MARK, EVIL MARK, EVIL MARK!!! I want to be coherent about this season but please picture me foaming at the mouth and running on the walls. S2 being what if Mark's just like his Dad? Insanity. I love this show. Anyways, AU where an Evil!Mark tries to make Our!Mark worse, and Our!Mark tries to make the other better. Something something confronting your idea of the worst version of oneself. Plus, tweaked black and yellow costume because I saw it and immediately went murder hornet lookin' ass and knew I had to draw it. Evil ass Mark. Horrible. I think he should be dragged kicking and screaming into redemption.

#mark and the fact he is fighting for this fucking life to avoid the Many Bad Endings???? im pacing. getting out the red string. #when the season is about who you are and what you could become. when trying to be good is an active choice and a struggle. #RAHHHHHHHHHHH #chewing on the bars of my enclosure...when every mark is evil OUR mark is the outlier. the exception. the OTHER. RAHHHH #dog poetry being mark poetry because how often can you kick a dog before it starts snarling before you raise your hand? #how often can you beat it before it rips into you without mercy? when it bites not at your hand but at your neck? #when does violence for survival and violence for vengeance start and end? when your opponent is down and you keep drawing blood? #circling and pacing and losing my mind over this btw if you care #anyways self vs self gets me going crazy. did you know i loved the end of atsv? because it shows. #i think o!mark would lose his fucking mind at what evil wasp looking mark has done + this mf wasp would LOATHE mark's kindness #they both see the other as the WORST version of themselves and they can't stand it. They can't shatter the mirror but they think they can-- #--change the reflection. #evil mark seeing mark and seeing what he USED to be #mark seeing what he COULD be #CAN U SEE THE VISION?????? #digital art #invincible rotating in my mind #invincible fanart #fanart #mark my beloved #mark grayson fanart #mark grayson #invincible s2 #invincible show #mark like hello this is my secret twin and he is NOTHING like me hahahaha anyways wanna debate about having mORALS and LIFE #mark grayson vs the urge not to accept every responsibility as his own #he's batman coded that way #ok im done yapping #if this happened in the comics in any way shape or form dont tell me JACK SHIT or i will PUMMEL YOU with my SHOES

[mitskiluvr]

beast will always mean SO much to me because of everything it tells us about atsushi and akutagawa. all the parallels between them. they were both victims of circumstance—akutagawa ended up on the side of “good” in beast and atsushi didn’t and at their core they were both just teenagers trying to find a way to survive with the hand that was dealt to them

#bungo stray dogs #bsd #bungou stray dogs #shin soukoku #sskk #atsushi nakajima #akutagawa ryuunosuke #bsd beast #i hate talking about morally gray characters and themes because i can never get it right like i can never hit the right points #but i think this is a pretty goood example #atsushi would’ve ended up an assassin in canon if things went any differently #and it sounds so cliche but. they were just KIDS #they were doing anything they could to survive #it didn’t matter to akutagawa that he was gonna be a ruthless killer in the mafia #as long as he had his reason to live he didn’t care #even if in beast he talks about morality and how he could never picture himself in the mafia #god. i love them. i’m sick.

[arctic-bookclub]

god i can’t stop thinking about how the (core) death family really is such a well fitting puzzle that when even one piece js gone it shows and affects the rest :(

like the death family is incomplete without qmissa, he carries such a huge role in the emotional wellbeing of things, he shines were qphil lacks; the death family is incomplete without qphil, the man consistently keeping the kids alive and fed, he can keep the kids alive but he struggles with the things beyond it, things beyond mere survival; and the kids, we saw how thoroughly their absence affected qphil and qmissa, how tallulah sleeping alone at her old home made the bunker feel so empty and incomplete, how without chayanne this little family would’ve never been formed in the first place. they all fulfill roles that no one else can perform in their place, tallulah and qmissa carry the artistic side and emotional knowledge of the family, qphil and chayanne carry the survivalist aspect of the family with experience and cooking. the family has had to adapt to the absence of members in the past, especially when the kids disappeared, and the toll it takes shows so clearly every time. they are only truly complete with each other, they are a family with so many troubles and ailments that could so easily be fixed by just them all being present, and yet they’re cursed to always miss one. they are always stuck adapting and filling roles to make up for an absence, and crumbling under the pressure each time

#i could go so much into detail about this but here’s an oversimplification from my sleep deprived brain #because i can’t stop thinking about this otherwise #also the way they sometimes switch roles (chay and tallulah) is interesting too #but there are some core aspects that never change #like the emotional vs survival aspect of things #like they all resemble each other so much while being so distinctly different from each other #it’s so interesting i need to study them under a microscope #qsmp #deathduo #pissa #<- i guess? #qsmp philza #qsmp missa #qsmp missasinfonia #qsmp tallulah #qsmp chayanne #shey rambles #qsmp death family

[3lostyears]

i adore how protective nine is of rose but i also think what is regarded a lot of the time as ten not caring about or valuing rose in the same way is him having more faith in her. it’s kind of like when people complain about rose not challenging ten the way she did nine when they’re just much more on the same page in s2 because they know each other better, so she doesn’t really need to.

in theory, ten could have yelled at rose in the idiot’s lantern for not waiting for him when she confronted magpie. but he doesn’t, he loses his mind trying to save her (VERY nine) and also acknowledges that her observation was spot on. the whole “domestic approach” line gets attention but i have never really interpreted his intention as being to insult her; in some ways, i feel her reaction is a holdover from nine, who did put down the idea of domesticity (and also actively manipulated her into leaving her mum in world war 3 which never really gets mentioned).

and of course, rise of the cybermen is a parallel to father’s day. the doctor starts out harshly talking to her the way he did when he was nine, forbidding her to see her father, but then he gives in when she just looks at him. which is exactly what he does that in father’s day too of course.

like, why do you think she refuses to be sent away in doomsday, another direct parallel to parting of the ways? she’s saying she’s not a kid anymore, that she already made her way back to him once before. she can’t be protected from the hard choices anymore and she won’t be, because she understands everything that it means to be the doctor’s companion. you never see it on-screen but clearly sometime between tooth & claw and doomsday she asks about what happened before he regenerated; she has to learn that she is the bad wolf, especially when she is to continue her journey of turning into nine in s4 and making hard choices. ten wouldn’t have known that, but it’s a mark of the respect and faith (he believes! in her!) that he stops protecting her from the truth.

#ninerose is so special and i get why people may prefer s1 over s2 because it’s TIGHT #but like…there’s a reason why the romance in s1 is kinda paternal lol #nine probably would have let the devil survive to save rose #or would have needed her to yell at him to make the choice #ten said i choose delusion and being in love and was RIGHT #doctor who #timepetals #ninerose #tenrose #s2 is so much better than people give it credit for tbh #like. direct link between rose looking into the heart of the tardis and ten killing the devil #they’re both insane and they’re soulmates #and then she got stranded on bad wolf bay and KNEW she could get back. some how some day #dw meta

[significant-ace-nnoyance]

you'd think that annabeth starts to turn her back on the idea of the fates and the gods deciding everthing towards the end of ep 5 when she refuses percy's "fate" to die in the chair and instead chooses to try and save him

BUT YOU'D BE WRONG because at the very start of that episode annabeth mfing chase saw the three fates cut a string of life while percy just fell off the literal st louis arch and is nowhere to be found and instead she says HES ALIVE. I KNOW IT. she says fuck the fates fuck everything ive ever been taught because i know he's alive he has to be alive.

and he is. and he is and he is and he is and i think in that moment when annabeth was clinging to a sopping wet percy jackson for dear life she maybe started believing that the fates don't control everything because percy's alive and she found him

and so later when percy's fulfilling the fate's prophecy and sacrificing himself to the chair she says NO. i choose who lives or dies and you are NOT DYING ON ME TODAY SEAWEED BRAIN

#also i think she's being weird because her athena brain is going crazy trying to figure out what that string meant #because if it didn't mean percy #who could it mean #were they saying 'he might survive this but he won't survive what comes next' #percy jackson #annabeth chase #percy jackon and the olympians #pjo <3 #percabeth #percy series #pjo

[hopeswriting]

was thinking about takeshi and how he's my favorite brand of unconditional devotion btw. the utter and absolute and all-consuming kind that runs so deep to the very core and is so intrinsic and fundamental to it, it can only express itself in the most casual and natural and certain way. without second thoughts, without any room for doubts or for any moral dilemma to be had over it, because of course he ought to always be breathing and living for his chosen person first and foremost. of course he ought to hang on their every word and make them true no matter what, no matter what he has to do to make it happen, no matter what he has to do to other people to make it happen, and no matter what it might turn him into in the process. because it's obviously the way the world should be for his chosen person. at their feet, ready to bend over backwards and break and build itself again to better answer to all their needs even if they don't ask it for it. it's the only right way it should be for them, and of course takeshi's going to do his utmost at all times to make it a reality as much as possible.

and his devotion comes out as naturally as breathing, comes out lighthearted and nonchalant like he might as well be talking about the weather, but it's not unaware of itself. it's not that takeshi doesn't know it's unhealthy and wrong and that he's willing to go entirely too far in its name for anyone's good. it's not that he wouldn't hear you out if you were to sit him down and explain to him just why he needs to tone it down a little (a lot). logically, he'd agree with you and know you're right. and then he'd tell you he's still not going to do anything whatsoever about it. that he's not bothered by it and doesn't feel the need to change anything to his attitude. makes it a point to never let anyone or anything sway him even an inch in the stand he took when it comes to that, no matter how many thousand of times you might go over the subject with him.

because the morality of his devotion isn't the point at all. is entirely irrelevant to it and doesn't affect the way he expresses it all. it's not the metric with which he draws a line in the sand to hold it accountable to. because the thing is, takeshi's entire world revolves around tsuna--tsuna is his entire world altogether, and it's just a matter of fact, that simple. to him it's a truth as unchanging as the sky being blue, and so being the way he is according to that truth is the only way he can imagine being that'd feel right to him. and so the actual and only metric that matters here is "would tsuna be happier if i were to do this?" and/or "is this something tsuna needs me to do?"

and like. i don't think takeshi ever stops being a kind person capable of compassion and understanding and mercy and forgiveness even ten years later once they became mafia through and through. and i don't think either he grows up to be feared and called a monster per se despite the things they inevitably had to do during those ten years (and the things they'll inevitably keep having to do as long as they keep being mafia), at least not in the way, for example, they'll never stop fearing and calling mukuro one. but i do think that among the tenth gen, he ends up being the one with the most ruthless, merciless and horrific blood on his hands of that particular and distinct loving kind. you know the one i mean, right? he comes to be the one most expected and the one first expected to be willing and to take it upon himself to go through with it when the need arises. and to think little of it after, if anything at all. all in the name of making tsuna's reign as easy on him as possible.

and it's to the point where it's the kind of blood that makes even mukuro pause at times. or, when takeshi is the one coming up with solutions himself during meetings, makes even reborn blink. not because it's unjustified or wouldn't be safe or efficient or anything of the sort, but because it is unwarrantedly thorough in its retaliation. and sometimes, at times like this, he's the one tsuna needs to step in for the most, because he's the only one who can reason with him that "yes, this would work in getting rid of our problem" but "no, please, don't do that takeshi". because if tsuna is the only thing that infers on just how much and in what ways he'll let himself be devoted to him, then of course, he's also the only one takeshi's willing to reign himself in for without second thoughts. because he'd hate to ever do something tsuna would disapprove of or wouldn't want him to do. or do something that'd make tsuna see him differently or love him back less even in the slightest.

and it's also like. his devotion isn't an undisciplined one. it's not one he doesn't have control over, the very opposite. it's a very purposeful and conscious choice he chooses to keep making over and over again every step of the way, and he taught himself to have control over it, to know when it's needed and/or wanted, and how much and in which ways it is when it happens, and to keep it down otherwise. and, yes, to also reign it back in at tsuna's request at times when it still slips past his control. because it's all about making tsuna's happiness easier and secure and long-lasting, and never about burdening him with just how committed he is to do that.

so it comes down to this: takeshi willing to go above and beyond and more for tsuna unless tsuna explicitly asks him not to. and to tsuna needing to ask him not to every now and then. and to other people pointing out to him how too many times tsuna's already needed to stop him, and that maybe there's a hint for him to take there. and to takeshi seeing the hint, looking it straight in the eye and recognizing it for what it is and just. deciding it doesn't apply to him because it's all perfectly normal behavior to him. because it's the only kind of behavior that makes sense to him and feels right.

and so—to circle back to my first point—he can only express his devotion as naturally as breathing, so casually, almost like it's something inconsequential and not worth talking about despite how unmistakably it couldn't be further away from being the truth. it's the only way he could have always known how to express it, because, after all, who has ever taken time to ponder about the details and the hows of the way they breathe?

and i, for one, absolutely eat that shit up every time, thanks for coming to my ted talk <3

#katekyo hitman reborn #khr #khr meta #can i even call this one?? well i'm going to anyway lol #yamamoto takeshi #sawada tsunayoshi #i've never been normal about devotion in stories and characters and won't ever be so sorry if this doesn't make sense #also this is not to say the 10th gen loves tsuna any less unconditionally this isn't a competition #it's just me saying the particularities and specificities of the way takeshi specifically does it appeal to me the most #which is one of the reasons why i have such a big soft spot for 8027 #and it's not a problem in their relationship either btw that's also not what i'm saying #like tsuna doesn't mind it and absolutely /does/ reciprocate it 100% #he's just careful to keep an eye out so none of them will lose themselves along the way #also this is within the context of me shifting canon slightly to the left in the way where the 10th gen loves tsuna /so much/ #they could just as well actually and properly worship him as a god and it still wouldn't make a single difference #and me liking to lean into that fully and taking it to extremes and it inevitably becoming some extent of dark #because considering the environment canon makes them express it (the mafia) it's like. well how else are they meant to keep it alive #and make sure it survives through it without giving it sharp teeth and claws and jagged edges of its own you know? #so if you feel like this is some kind of ooc-ness you're not wrong #but also consider: i'm not wrong either <3 #anyway consider also: unconditional devotion running /so/ deep down to your marrow and to your very essence #even in the face of the whole world telling you how wrong it is and how insane and unhinged you are for it and condemning you for it #it still wouldn't so much as make you consider the thought they might have a point #and i genuinely EAT that shit up every time i love to see it <3

[kabutoden]

bug trolls… i am interested in kankri vantas. if that isn’t too much trouble. your buggy guys are so silly and interesting and i am a fan

here is kankri and his baby brother…. they don’t get along!! i wish they did though id love to see these two go on an adventure together where they look out each other. since kankri is a beforus troll and a vegan, his shell is pretty thin because he’s not getting enough iron. on the other hand, karkat’s shell is heavier then it should be due to stress. thanks for the RQ!! im soooo glad ppl like my sillies :D

#kankris picking up karkat because karkat said fuck you im going to come over there and cram my scythe down your ignorance shaft #kankri said no you arnt. you’re not going to do that. im not letting you do that. #karkat vantas #kankri vantas #homestuck #trolls #buggy trolls #want to see these 2 depending on each other to survive in alternia. i think it would be very hard for them to do #but i think they could grow and develop in interesting ways if they got to be brothers who fight #enrichment in the isopod tank #redbloods #these two are natural drama that’s engaging story!! ive never really read a fic i liked that rlly got into their companionship as brothers #like there’s quite a few abt dirk and dave as brothers #most fics that have both of them focus more on their bonds with the sufferer #if anyone has a recommendation I’d love to hear it #give them crabdad no sufferer make them struggle in this cruel world. highly protective kankri grumpy wrathful karkat #they can’t stand each other but also rely on each other. redblood moment #given that isopods are comparatively social and good natured to many of the other troll buggy species I’ve picked out #that’s what I’m SAYIN #^silly #ok bye

[lavenderjewels]

Despite jjk already being tragic for multiple characters, it’ll be beautiful if Yuuji manages to save Megumi from Sukuna. One of the best aspects of their relationship from the start (although possibly not the healthiest) has been their unconditional desire to save and be with each other. Megumi telling Yuuji to “start by saving me” was such a significant moment in helping Yuuji continue moving forward and not isolate himself away from Megumi and the others. And, while killing Sukuna is considered to be the priority of the characters Yuuji has consistently been planning ways to save Megumi too, and arguably one of the only characters to push those plans too. The same can apply to Megumi too, with his soul drowning after possession, suppressed after seeing his sister and mentor die. At his lowest, I would love to see Yuuji and the others be there for him too. It wouldn’t fix anything that’s already happened, but it would be a start towards healing

#idk ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ of course it could just end up going completely tragic #or yuuji left after failing to save megumi but having to end sukuna #jjk spoilers #itafushi #fushiguro megumi #itadori yuuji #tagging this with their ship name since it technically involves them #jjk 143 #jjk 246 #saying all this but I don’t think Yuuji’s saving megumi plans will go smoothly at all #not just because the manga still has a year left at the least but bc sukuna is NOT being defeated that fast #infortunately I don’t think most of the adults will make it #I think most of the younger characters and new generation will survive #every now and then I have to make a mandatory post about yuuji and megumi’s impact and the story circling back to them saving each other #mypost

[vaguely-concerned]

Thinking about the symbolic weight of smoking in the TLT universe that comes to the fore in The Unwanted Guest -- the way it moves through from person to person: Pyrrha smoked, and Augustine wanted to impress her in all her stone cold fox MILF James Bond glory (and tbf who wouldn't) so he started too. and even though as far as he knows she's been gone for a myriad and is never coming back, he keeps the habit. Ianthe sees something in the hollowed-out Faberge eggshell of Augustine that resonates with her, all that gilded eloquent emptiness and disdain through the ages, so she picked it up from him to try to emulate it. She picked it up so hard that Palamedes -- the exact spiritual antithesis of the 'smoking! on a space station! what a powermove' ennui Ianthe so admired -- spontaneously unnerded enough to even known how to, simply from a sort of contact contamination of the soul.

G1deon and Augustine sharing a jittery smoke after their near-Harrow experience during soup night, and it's the closest thing to any real sense of brotherhood that remains between them. Pyrrha going ten thousand years dying both literally and for a smoke (and then Camilla sold her fucking cigarettes (for a third of what they were worth, probably Pyrrha's own good, and also more importantly grocery money). what an entirely haunted time to be alive etc.). Augustine and Mercy trading a cigarette back and forth in the middle of their collusion over the love and murder of god.

An act of small and measured self-destruction in the name of something a little bit like connection when you're stuck somewhere in yourself where love itself dares not or cannot tread (ritualized, transmissible)..........

#the unwanted guest #the unwanted guest spoilers #the locked tomb #ianthe tridentarius #augustine the first #pyrrha dve #palamedes sextus #this series is going to make me lose my mind completely one day (affectionate) #the locked tomb meta #the fact that ianthe seems to have had some genuine admiration for augustine makes my head spin. of course though. #of course she sees the person who looks the most like he's successfully made himself impervious to the world #utterly untouchable and impossible to hurt because he isn't even really there #and she believes it! even after seeing the john mercy augustine mess at the end! because it's such a seductive idea #when you've stuck yourself in an inevitable ocean of pain to think you could make yourself numb enough that it doesn't matter #it's the emotional equivalent of 'oh there's water all around? well I just won't breathe in then. easy lmao get on my level' #she holds on to that thing from him even when it's been proved to be both impossible and ultimately untrue even in him #because uh. oh I'm about to be kind of sad for ianthe what the fuck is going on. he might actually have been the closest thing #to parental and especially paternal affection she's ever known. certainly known enough to try to model herself after #IMAGINE how fucked up the nine houses must be when augustine the first registers for anyone as a model of psychological survival #ianthe do you really want to be yourself completely so much that you're willing to be nothing. I mean yeah probably but. oh my god #gaining nothing at the cost of everything

[is-that-sand-in-my-waffles]

RIP, my dude

#commander cody #the bad batch season 2 #tbb #tbb spoilers #kenobi #obi wan kenobi #star wars #personally i think it would be great if he survived the bad batch and then died in kenobi #because then rex would be living thru his rebels era not knowing if cody is out there somewhere #he could have been on any of the imperial ships that the rebels blow up as far as rex knows #when in fact he's been dead for a couple of years or longer #the bad batch