#because what if I use it as an excuse to treat people poorly??

[coralinnii]

ALMOST forgetting your birthday 

feat: Ace · Vil · Jamil · Trey  genre: fluff  note: not gender specific reader, no pronouns used for reader, petnames were used (babe/baby in Ace, gem in Jamil), not proofread,

This is a special treat since I recently celebrated my birthday with my loved ones and classes were canceled on my birthday so I thought why not something birthday related for the fun of it? This is not me venting out that someone forgot my birthday, I just thought it’d be fun because I didn’t expect a voice scene from Riddle wishing me happy birthday when I logged in 😆. So hope you guys enjoy it and please don’t mistake this as me being sad! I actually had a great birthday

Boy was sweating bullets when Riddle asked him about his plans to celebrate your birthday. It totally slipped his mind and now he’s worried how you might be feeling after the fact that his own Housewarden of all people wished you a happy birthday but not your freaking boyfriend. 

But you can bet he’d be covering up his forgetful mind by acting his little heart out. 

Oh, you were worried he forgot about your special day? Pfft, you’re crazy. He just wanted to surprise you because he just couldn’t wait to spend the whole day with his number 1 love. 

On the inside, Ace does feel bad about forgetting your birthday. He knew if you did find out he almost let the day go by without seeing you, you would be hurt and he absolutely can’t have that. So, he swore to spend the entire day making it your day. Your rules, your choices, everything. 

Any plans he made for that day were instantly canceled. Hangouts with Deuce, basketball club meetings, his turn to feed the flamingos, he's skipping everything. He’s at your beck and call, making sure you weren’t aware he would have gone the whole day without knowing. This redhead is making sure you know how important you are to him, no matter how much he messes up. 

He doesn’t care about the possible teasing from other students or any accusations of being whipped. He’s the one sharing a special day with the most amazing person in the world, so jokes on them!

“Happy birthday, babe! Today’s your magical day so we’re doing whatever my baby wants, my treat” 

To be fair, he did make considerations in advance to ensure that he would be free to spend your birthday together. He may be a busy model and actor, but that’s no excuse to be with those he loves most. 

Unfortunately, his manager did not agree with that sentiment as they decided to schedule an interview with a popular news channel on your birthday. Vil was upset but what's done is done and it can't be cancelled with all the promotions and advertising out there about this upcoming interview.

You were bummed that Vil might not have time to spend with you but you understood how important this was for his career so you gave your support as always. Your birthday would have gone uncelebrated if not for Rook and Epel’s intervention. 

This whole situation left Vil angry at his manager…and himself for not catching this on time. He’s also a little angry at you for undermining your own birthday, even for his sake. 

He invited you onto the interview studio as his special visitor so the two of you could still be together as much as possible, and Vil made sure no one treats you any less than they would with him. His tone was polite but everyone at that studio knew he was serious with his “request”

“I hope that you would treat my guest with great care and respect. Any less would be rather insulting to me and will reflect poorly for any future projects” 

Immediately after the interview, Vil would grab your hand and rush back to the college where he expects that Rook and Epel have set up the preparations for the birthday celebration as he requested. Whether it's a private dinner for two or a quiet self-care day in his room, Vil’s dead set on making that day all about you like it should have. 

“This day isn’t about me or my career. This is your birthday and I intend on making sure you are treated as the fairest of them all on this day…and everyday”

I can’t imagine Jamil ever forgetting your birthday, he would never allow himself to make such a blunder like that. However, things don’t always go the way he hoped. 

Kalim, true to his whimsical nature, decided today was a great day to have a party so he decided to host a grand feast, to Jamil’s dismay. But he’s hesitant to refuse the Asim heir so he quickly got to organizing the party’s food as always. 

The sweetheart you are, decided to drop by to help him in the kitchen. Jamil’s having mixed feelings as he’s always happy to have you by his side but he doesn’t want to work on your birthday, especially for his sake. But you insisted you wouldn’t offer to help if you didn’t want to. 

Still dissatisfied, Jamil decided that the party could be shifted somewhat. You watched with confused amusement over Jamil’s not-so subtle whispers over you working on your birthday. 

“I apologise, my gem. I didn’t want your birthday to like this, working so hard alongside me like this” 

“I would say it’s ok but I feel like you’re not really talking directly at me right now”  

“Oh, if only I could give you the celebration you deserve” 

Of course, the “whispers” were overheard and soon caught Kalim’s ears who was excited to hear about this. Whatever prior reason to party has immediately left the Housewarden’s mind “What? It’s your birthday, so let’s change the party! This is now a grand birthday feast!” 

Whether you like it or not, you became the star of the party as Kalim pulled you over to the best seat in the dorms with food being offered to you on a literal silver platter. Jamil smiled from afar as he enjoyed watching the special treatment you’re getting. He assumed you were happy with the luxurious pampering courtesy of Kalim’s kind heart, not letting himself delve into his own insecurities of his inability to spoil you the way Kalim can. This was his plan, afterall. 

Luckily for him, you never give him the chance to get lost into those doubts as you happily call him over, patting the seat right next to yours. Snuggling to his side, Jamil felt his heart race as you told him how all you wanted was to do today was spend the day with him, be it being treated like royalty or just cooking together in a kitchen. 

Jamil wondered if you were aware of what a dangerous charmer you are. 

“Happy birthday, my precious gem. A day spent dedicating to you is a day well spent”

Like Vil, he probably remembered your birthday was soon but his school life and his duties as a vice Housewarden jumbled his mind to the point he almost didn’t realize what day it was. 

It wasn’t until Riddle told him that you would not be invited to the unbirthday party scheduled that day because well…it was actually your birthday. Trey nearly dropped the unbirthday cake he prepared when he realized what day it was. 

His mind was in a tizzy. He tried to stay focused but he’s trying to estimate his time to make a cake for you once the unbirthday party is done and if he could still make your birthday special. Thankfully, Riddle was kind enough to dismiss him once his assistance was not needed at the party. The green-haired senior never ran that fast from a party. 

Before the day ended, Trey managed to make a small cake to surprise you with at your dorm but he still felt a little guilty. I believe Trey is the type to tell you directly that he almost forgot your birthday rather than pretend. 

You told him you understand. He’s a third year with a lot of responsibilities and you know how busy he gets. You might be sad not being able to spend your birthday with him the way you hope but life gets in the way. You were happy with just the cake and a visit from your beloved. 

But Trey wasn’t satisfied with that. He may have gotten away with the bare minimum for most things and romance isn’t his forte but with you, that’s not good enough. Trey wants to take care of you, treat you special, give you all the attention you deserve without holding back. For you, going the extra mile and a half is worth it.

The green-haired student boldly went for a firm kiss on your lips, catching you by surprise. You felt your boyfriend take the lead by softly pushing you to the couch, sitting you down with him. Trey smirked down at your flustered face, fully intending to make the most of the day. 

“It’s ok to be a little selfish, you know? It’s still your birthday, afterall”  

#disney twisted wonderland #twisted wonderland #twst #twisted wonderland headcanons #twisted wonderland imagines #twst scenarios #twst imagines #twisted wonderland x reader #twst x reader #twisted wonderland scenarios #disney twst #twst fluff #twisted wonderland fluff #trey clover #trey x reader #ace trappola #ace trappola x reader #twst ace x reader #jamil viper #jamil x reader #vil schoenheit #vil x reader

[stolitzsings]

This is a sort of response to a post I've seen floating around, drawing parallels between the chains in Blitz’s trip that bind him to Stolas and the chains that bind Husk, Angel, and Fizz to Alastor, Valentino, and Mammon respectively. I'm not commenting on that post directly bc I avoid Discourse (tm) at all costs for the sake of my health, and I don’t want to get drawn into an unproductive argument that will mess with my anxiety for a week. I'm not trying to start a fight, just get my thoughts out on why I feel that comparison is inaccurate, and hopefully provide some helpful context and nuance.

So! Let's start with a few disclaimers! First of all, I'm not going to debate the moral purity of any of these characters. I just don't think it's an interesting or valuable critique. On a related note, I am not trying to excuse any of their behavior. I'm happy to admit that my favorite characters in this show have hurt people and are sometimes total assholes. Stolas treated Blitz very poorly at the beginning of their relationship, frequently pushed or even ignored boundaries, and was just kind of a dick about things. My objection to a direct comparison between Stolas and the other characters mentioned above isn't because I think Stolas hasn't done anything wrong; I just think that saying they're similar without further clarification or commentary ignores the nuance of the situation.

Read on below the cut, it's gonna be another long one folks!

Let's start by examining the "agreements" forged by Val, Mammon, and Alastor. I think it's important to note that, in their cases, the person they got to sign their contract could have been anyone. Husk and Angel could have been any sinners, Fizz could have been any imp. They aren't interested in them as people; they were only using them to gain more power for themselves. The only thing that matters to them is, "What can you do for me?" Angel and Fizz quite clearly become cogs in the machine of Val and Mammon's businesses, and Alastor only thinks of Husk as a tool to be leveraged in specific situations to further his own mysterious goals. Each of them has demonstrated to their subjugates that they own them, body and soul. They have signed legally and spiritually binding contracts that essentially surrender their autonomy to a more powerful demon.

Stolas and Blitz’s agreement is... not that. In the most literal sense, they don’t appear to have made any sort of binding deal. They just made a verbal agreement, which I sincerely doubt has anywhere near the force of a signed soul contract. Additionally, Stolas did not ask for and does not seem to want that sort of total control over Blitz. He very clearly does not view this as any sort of power exchange (which may actually be part of the issue, since it leaves him blind to Blitz’s discomfort with their class difference), he sees it as "favors for favors." While this agreement is inherently unbalanced due to Stolas's status, it's worth noting that they’re both putting something on the line here. The other three risk practically nothing (if the person bound to them fails they can always get a new one), but Stolas IS taking on a real risk by letting Blitz access the living world illegally using his book. Again, that doesn't make his actions right, and probably helped him to justify them, but it does set their relationship apart from the others.

In my opinion, some of Stolas's greatest flaws are his thoughtlessness and his ability to justify his own actions to himself. This manifests in the fact that he clearly doesn't see the ways in which their relationship is hurting Blitz. He convinced himself that this was just an equal exchange, and a continuation of the dynamic Blitz established in their first encounter as adults: "I fuck you, and you give me the book". As he becomes more aware of his feelings for Blitz, though (stay tuned for a deeper analysis of this progression later), he also begins to realize that Blitz isn't happy with this relationship. And this, as @masonshmason pointed out, is the central fact that separates Stolas and Blitz from the other relationships. Stolas did not realize- or chose to ignore- how he was hurting Blitz. Once he came to terms with it, though, he understood that he had to make things right. He specifically says this in "Just Look My Way"; "I will try to make amends/ For making you means to an end". None of the others could say this, because in their case, that was the POINT. Angel, Fizz, and Husk were ALWAYS a means to an end, intentionally trapped for that purpose.

We also need to talk about the CONTEXT of the scenes in which the chain imagery appears. For both Angel and Husk, the chain is at least semi-literal, a physical (and perhaps supernatural) manifestation of the way their souls are bound to an overlord. In "Two Minutes Notice," Fizz purposely CHOOSES to represent his relationship to Mammon as chains around his wrists. However, Blitz's scene is part of a drug trip after being forcibly dosed with hallucinogens. It does not exist in any literal sense, nor is it a representation of Blitz’s conscious, literal thoughts. What it DOES do is showcase Blitz’s deepest fears and his greatest flaws through symbolism and metaphor. Blitz is not literally afraid of being forced to wear a clown costume; he is afraid he'll never escape his past traumas or Fizz's shadow. THIS is the context in which Blitz sees himself being chained by Stolas: a bad trip all about his fear of intimacy and vulnerability.

Stolas appears in this trip as someone elevated high above him, something he's climbing towards, reaching for, even though it means being chained to him. It's directly preceded by his ex girlfriend and his former best friend berating him for how he pushes people away even though he hates being alone. Then Stolas directly asks him, "Are you afraid to love people, Blitzy?" Furthermore, the WAY in which he is framed is alluring, slightly hazy, golden and tempting. It couldn’t be further from the ugly, slime-covered past he's fleeing. It's a new start, a chance for something better that seems too good to be true. This trip is all about Blitz’s inability to be vulnerable with another person. The chain around his neck is a representation of the fact that, by getting closer to Stolas, he's giving Stolas the power to hurt him emotionally.

And man, there's a part of him that wants to give Stolas that power. At this critical moment, he's not baring his teeth in defiance or anger. He's blushing, just slightly, and he looks... nervous. Blitz's instinct, when things get too real, is to cut and run. Hurt them before they can hurt you. Abandon them before they have the chance to leave you. It’s how he tanked his relationship with Verosika. This is a manifestation of what might happen if he stays. This is the sort of trouble he can't fight his way out of.

This is the emotional climax of the scene. There are so many ways they could have gone with this if they wanted to represent Blitz being chained and trapped by his agreement with Stolas. If that was the fear--if that was the POINT--they could have had the chains wrap around him until he couldn't move, or glow white hot and burn into his skin, or a million other more direct metaphors. But the chains aren't the thing that hurts him. It's the feathers: the thing that's left behind after Stolas abandons him, sing-songing "you're going to die alone" right alongside two other people who he loved and who now want nothing to do with him.

Finally, let's look at Blitz’s reaction to this scene. It's a moment of revelation for him, in which he realizes he's pushing everyone away and starts to make an effort to change. It's why he's a bit more open with Moxxie in the next scene. The trip sequence ALSO inspires him to get closer to Stolas, indicating that the trip didn’t make him realize "I'm trapped and I need to get out of this" in the same way Fizz did. Rather, he realizes that he doesn't want Stolas to leave him like everyone else, and he wants to start feeling out what it would be like to deepen the connection between them. As I've mentioned in other posts, their kiss at the end of "truth seekers" represents a level of intimacy that we haven't seen before; it's teasing, affectionate, shows Blitz’s interest in making Stolas happy, and takes place in front of M&M, who have repeatedly teased him about their relationship before.

In summary, while the image of chains may have been invoked in all four of these relationships, they don’t necessarily mean the same thing across the board. Blitz and Stolas's relationship differs substantially from the others in its dynamic, and the context of their scene also sets it apart. It's important to look into the details and the nuance of their relationship to interpret what's going on under layers of trauma and unreliable narration.

#stolas #blitzø #stolitz #helluva boss #helluva boss spoilers #helluva boss meta #hazbin hotel

[anyydidi]

N x Uzi works and N x V shippers should accept that.

Even though i’m a Nuzi (N x Uzi) shipper at heart, I like Envy (N x V). I think it’s cute and they have a great history. But…

That’s about it.

We need to realize that they are both different people now. Yes, N kind of kept his personality through it all, but he has gone through so much development, mainly thanks to Uzi. Not to mention he got his memories completely wiped out and the only reason he has/had feelings for V is because he felt the remnants of their past stronger feelings. Yes, he got his memories back, but only from the Cyn incident. We don’t have any proof of him having all of his memories from the mansion back.

We don’t even know if they just had crushes on each other. We’re not sure if they really had an established romantic relationship in the first place. Did they only have mild crushes, or were they madly in love? That’s something we’re not sure about.

And lastly, people move on. How i mentioned, they’re two different people than they were at the mansion, with absolutely different lives. It’s not wrong, or weird of N to start developing feelings for Uzi. After all, even though N’s personality didn’t really change from his past one, V has made a practically 180 turn. She’s seen as shy and reversed in the past, but ignorant, mean and murderous in the present (before her character development of course). She’s a different person from what N has fallen for. Plus, let’s be honest, V hasn’t been treating N nicely.

V has treated N very poorly. Ignoring him, pretending she doesn’t know who he is, generally just being mean to him. She probably did that to protect him, yeah, but N isn’t aware of that and really, is that an excuse to behave that way? On the other hand, Uzi has helped N grow as a person. She helps him believe in himself, she shows him what true love feels like (platonic, and now even a little romantic). She started treating him as his own person, as a person who has feelings and deserves to be treated as such. Not just some killer machine that you can use and throw around. And in turn, N was Uzi’s first friend. Someone who finally loves her for who she is. He supports her and helps her grow emotionally. They support and love each other and it’s HEALTHY.

And last but not least, NO. Nuzi is not rushed and the hand holding scene did not come from nowhere. Uzi has been shown to develop some sort of feelings for him for EPISODES now. We can see her starting to develop them in The Promening. Which is kind of a long time ago. As for N, we don’t exactly see him having romantic feelings for her until recently, we can definitely see him start to lose feelings for V since Cabin Fever. The point where he definitely realizes he feels something for Uzi, is in the scene prior to the hand holding scene, where Uzi asks him if he’s good. Obviously, he probably had some feelings for her even before, but i would say that was the realization point.

So, in conclusion, i would say both Nuzi and Envy works. The only difference is that Nuzi is in the present, and Envy is more in the past. But, let’s be honest here, does it really matter? Yes, I am more of a Nuzi shipper and definitely am rooting for them to become canon, but i wouldn’t be mad if Envy is the one who wins in the end. Both relationships have chemistry. And i think we all know that Envy is absolutely tragic and it makes me sad. So, stop the ship wars you guys. It’s not worth it. Let’s just enjoy our respective ships as they are, it is Liam’s show after all and he can do whatever he wants with it.

(This is a Nuzi defend post, I am in NO WAY hating on Envy, as i hope was stated enough. I am just tired of toxic Envy shippers attacking Nuzi for pointless reasons. Oh and btw i am a strong “V is alive, or at least comes back” believer. And that is not delusion, guys, it was clearly stated by J earlier in the episode that the disassembly drones were cloned. Glitch, I am watching you 👹👹.)

#murder drones #murder drones uzi #uzi doorman #murder drones n #serial designation n #murder drones v #serial designation v #n x uzi #md nuzi #murder drones nuzi #nuzi #biscuitbites #n x v #md n x v #murder drones envy #envy #md envy #btw i am a j x v shipper #hehehe #you cant stop me #murder drones episode 6 spoilers #spoilers #murder drones dead end

[roidepoison]

Reo Mikage is Actually Great BPD Representation- Some Thoughts

So I had the extremely unfortunate experience of being exposed to Blue Lock (unfortunate because it's all my tiny pea brain can think about now), and while it is absolutely full of silly guys whose brains I want to pick, this little bugger really stood out to me. The second he came onto the screen, I KNEW I smelled the borderline on him. As I watched the series and read the manga, I noticed he is actually an incredibly well-written depiction of someone struggling with BPD. Reo is a super layered character and my favorite hobby is picking apart those layers and yapping incessantly about them, so here we are. I want to write this analysis for a few reasons:

1.) Too many people misunderstand Reo and categorize him as dramatic or childish without any elaboration and he deserves a proper character deep-dive. I think him being borderline explains a LOT of his reactions/choices throughout the story.

2.) Borderline representation is extremely important to me. I'm diagnosed borderline and have struggled with this disorder for around ten years now, so I get really excited when I spy BPD-coded characters (especially if they're likable people and not just ghoulish irredeemable villains or manic pixie dream girl characters). This disorder can be so isolating, especially when the majority of people will never even bother to research or understand it. I know that some people like to chalk Reo's emotional reactions up to him being a moody 17-year-old, but I think I have enough evidence to prove that this is undiagnosed BPD that's festering in his noggin. Not to mention, literally nobody else acts like this in the series. Reo is incredibly unique and distinct in the way he behaves through this narrative and I think it's way past the point of normal teenage angst. Regardless, believe what you want. He'll always be my borderline princess tho <3

3.) I have a master's degree in English and what good is that if I don't write long, painful, pointless essays on anime guys? Not that this is exceptionally well written, I just like to laugh at myself for getting a whole M.A and then this is the shit I publish online lmao

By the end of this, I hope I can shed some light on wtf is going on inside of Reo's silly little head. (I'm also obviously not a psychologist, don't use any of this to diagnose yourself pls I don't need the scandal)

If you want to read, buckle up, because this is gonna be a long one!

First, let me define BPD- It's a personality disorder characterized by a long-standing pattern of instability in mood, interpersonal relationships, and self-image. At its core, it is a disorder categorized by emotional dysregulation (the inability to regulate one's emotional responses) People with BPD feel everything EXTREMELY hard. That's important to keep in mind IMO, because while their reactions may seem dramatic or extreme, what they're feeling IS dramatic and extreme. Everything they're feeling is amplified, so their reactions are amplified. Obviously from the outside, people assume it's an overreaction since they can't see what's going on inside the borderline's head. When you sit down and dissect the thought process of someone like Reo, it becomes a lot easier to understand why they react the way that they do to certain situations.

(Also, I'm not going to reiterate more than once that an explanation is not an excuse to treat people poorly. I cannot read ANYTHING on BPD without hearing every 2 minutes how the disorder isn't an excuse to hurt other people. We get it!! I'm explaining it, not excusing it. This enter essay is an analysis of why someone acts the way they do, not whether or not it's excusable)

So then, what behaviors/signs does somebody need to exhibit to receive a borderline diagnosis? The 9 diagnostic criteria for BPD are as follows:

1. Fear of abandonment

2. Unstable or changing relationships

3. Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self

4. Impulsive or self-damaging behaviors

5. Suicidal behavior or self-injury

6. Varied or random mood swings

7. Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness

8. Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights

9. Stress-related paranoia or loss of contact with reality

Someone would only need 5 of these to receive a proper diagnosis. Just with the main story and the spin-off manga that is currently released, I think I have enough evidence to argue that Reo has 8 out of 9 criteria for a BPD diagnosis. For the sake of organization, I’m gonna group some of those together though, indicated by a + symbol. I also want to define a few important terms before I start yapping, so that y'all without BPD can understand wtf I'm even talking about.

Favorite Person (fp) - This is someone who holds massive significance in a borderline's life. They emotionally depend on this person a lot and to a certain extent, their worldview almost revolves around them.

Splitting- the change in perception of someone or something caused by black-or-white thinking or dichotomous thinking. It is the devaluation of someone who was once idealized and vice versa.

Mirroring (aka: the chameleon effect)- the constant, unconscious change in one's identity or sense of self by imitating another person’s behaviors, characteristics, or traits. It is common in people who have a vacant or distorted self-image which is a general symptom of BPD.

Now, time for me to break down the most prominent moments where Reo showcases borderline behavior. As I mentioned, I'm going to try and organize this under each criteria point (with some being grouped together)

Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self:

Before I delve into Reo's relationships, I want to start with his baseline sense of identity. It’s established early on that Reo is a very bored, empty, unsatisfied person. Nothing excites him, nothing motivates him, and everything is handed to him. He’s frustrated because his parents notoriously try and buy his affection even though he doesn't want anything. For most of his life up until the narrative starts, he's wandering through life empty and frustrated. That is, until he finally sets his sights on soccer and decides to dedicate his life to winning the World Cup:

The wording, 'proves my existence' is interesting here. I think this is the first instance Reo has felt alive. So far, the only notable thing about him has been his family and his money. He hasn't achieved anything exceptional for himself, but now he has that opportunity. With this goal, he can really build something up from nothing and make it his own. It's almost like he's clinging to this dream to prove that he has some purpose in his life other than being the family heir.

Now, this dream changes when he meets Nagi, of course. I'm not gonna focus too much on their relationship in this section, but I will mention that meeting Nagi shifted Reo's entire dream, and not for the better. Through the narrative, his dream went from:

Winning the World Cup

Winning the World Cup with Nagi

Proving to Nagi that leaving him behind was a mistake

Improving himself and becoming a good striker on his own

Being a tool for Nagi to become the best striker

Had Nagi not come in and ask for Reo to come back to him, I think Reo could have done a great job at establishing his own sense of identity without Nagi. But no matter how much he works on himself, with Nagi in the picture, he's never going to value himself more than Nagi. Reo lets Nagi cloud his identity to the point where Isagi calls him out and asks what he's even doing at Blue Lock in the first place, since he clearly can't survive on his own, he needs Nagi with him.

After dealing with the turmoil of being abandoned by Nagi, Reo goes through a few stages. He starts with wanting to become somebody worthy of being beside Nagi, somebody that Nagi would want to choose. Devoting himself to becoming stronger and more versatile, his end goal is to have Nagi realize he made a mistake by leaving him behind. After a few more matches, Reo starts to realize that he needs to grow and change and become a stronger, better version of himself for himself and not for other people.

He decides that the fight was all his fault to begin with, that he should have never forced Nagi to play soccer and now he is going to get back to what his dream was originally, combined with his new desire to be a stand-alone player (and person, for that matter). Reo accepts the mistakes that he made, admits that he shouldn't have forced his ideals onto Nagi, and resolves to become a better person for HIMSELF. That's excellent!

Of course, Reo can't be happy for TOO long. Nagi comes out of the woodwork saying that he can't beat Isagi on his own and asks for Reo's help. Reo does stand up for himself a bit, saying that Nagi is being inconsiderate of his feelings and mentioning how long it took for him to recover from Nagi leaving. Now, the BPD trait here is how Reo not only forgives Nagi and is jumping on him and hugging him THE NEXT PAGE, but he also just disregards everything he said in this sequence. In a matter of two minutes, he no longer wants to be a player that can fight on his own or improve for himself, he wants to improve for Nagi. He starts ruminating again about how hurt he was when Nagi left, but now he's saying all of it wasn't so that he could get stronger individually, it was so that he could be reunited with Nagi again. Nagi asking for his help and saying that now they can play together again motivate Reo more than anything we've seen so far. (Nagi notoriously throws Reo little affection crumbs like this that Reo eats up, but I'm not trying focus on that) Now, Reo's alright with being a tool for Nagi's success again. Everything that happened was supposed to make him stronger so he could be a better partner to Nagi, right? Reo also says as the chapter ends, to please let him be a part of Nagi's dream until Nagi becomes the world's best striker. That's literally so sad!

He's also immediately back to the 'our' 'we' 'us' talk as well. If he can master his chameleon style in order to keep Nagi above the rest of the players, he wont get left behind again. If he devotes his time and energy into being a solo striker like the rest of these guys, Reo knows that he wont be able to keep up. This was always supposed to be his role, right? Building Nagi up to his full potential! :*)

I also like the detail that Reo is back to hugging Nagi and holding him, but Nagi never really touches him back. I think Reo's love language is touch for sure, not that it's incredibly relevant, but I do think it shows that Reo is back to being 100% comfortable around Nagi as if their fight never happened. I hear a lot of fans asking how Reo could have forgiven Nagi so easily, and I say this with my entire chest, it's the BPD. The black-and-white thinking combined with Nagi being Reo's fp and the excruciating pain of being abandoned by him in the first place ?? Of course he's going to take him back. Also, I've seen people blame Reo for not saying no to Nagi when he asks for help and I have to say that is an absolutely insane take. How are we gonna look at a panel where Nagi asks for help and then blame Reo for helping him?? I'm not going to focus on it too much in this post but in my opinion, it is crazy how little accountability both the narrative + fans give Nagi. Reo is pegged as responsible for both of their downfalls and it's nuts tbh.

Currently in the story, I think Reo's identity is still centered around Nagi. It's really easy for borderlines to structure their entire lives and personalities around their favorite person, but I can only hope that these two keep having open and honest discussions with one another. Hopefully, Reo will eventually learn that he can exist without Nagi and that he's more than just 'his arms and legs'.

Unstable or Changing Relationships:

The most notable relationship in Reo's life is Nagi. They're both each other's first real friends, which already sets up a less-than-ideal dynamic. Nagi has no idea how to communicate and he has pretty weak emotional intelligence. On the other hand, Reo is great at communicating, but he isn't used to regulating his emotions. For a lot of borderlines, they can go a very long time without experiencing any symptoms when they don't have a favorite person. When you think about it, the bulk of the disorder is shown through those interactions with other people. If Reo has never had a real friend in his life, I don't think he'd be used to the emotional turmoil that comes with having a fp.

The minute Reo meets Nagi, he's attached. All his classmates notice it, too. They question why Reo is suddenly so obsessed with this random kid who has no interest in him. Reo is ignoring everybody that isnt Nagi.

Very quickly, Reo boils down his view of the world to being him and Nagi versus everybody else, and he makes that very clear. It also depicts something that I think is incredibly crucial to Reo’s character that a lot of people overlook; as Nagi develops to be Reo’s favorite person, Reo’s dream isnt ‘playing soccer’ anymore. It’s Nagi. It’s being with Nagi, playing soccer with Nagi, being useful to Nagi, taking care of Nagi, and being somebody important to Nagi. He doesnt teach Nagi the rules or how to actually play, he teaches Nagi how to play with him. He literally re-writes and re-structures the game so that it can center around him and Nagi. Nagi calls him out on this in the spin-off manga:

Reo doesnt care about the structure of the game, he cares about Nagi. The other people on the field don't matter. The other team doesn't matter. He also starts to unknowingly put Nagi up on a pedestal, which is another borderline trait. He starts reiterating that Nagi is special, he's different from everybody else, he's destined to achieve great things. The more he raises Nagi up, the more he isolates the two of them in his mind, reiterating the idea that it's them against everybody else. His language reflects this too: Reo exclusively talks with 'us' 'we' 'our', insinuating that they're going to do everything together.

When Ego says that there can't be two winners, Reo says that he'll make Nagi the best striker. His 'ego' will be making Nagi successful. Along with putting Nagi on this pedestal, Reo also very early on establishes the fact that he'd pick Nagi over himself any day of the week. He's the only person in Blue Lock who really couldn't care less about becoming a striker himself: his dream is to be a tool in Nagi's success. Or, in simpler terms, he wants to be useful and make Nagi happy.

These two were in trouble from the very beginning. Nagi is lazy as all hell, has 0 motivation to do anything, and his dream is to live a life of luxury and never have to work. Reo, being the borderline baddie that he is, is more than happy to do EVERYTHING for Nagi. Borderlines love extremely hard! It's one of our best traits and I think it's important to showcase that Reo is a massive sweetheart at his core. He clearly loves Nagi a lot and goes to extreme lengths to make sure he feels taken care of. To someone with BPD, NOTHING is too big of an ask for a person they love, especially if that person is their fp. I also disagree with the argument that Reo 'made' Nagi codependent. Nagi likes being taken care of, he says it all the time. If you ask me, I would actually argue that Nagi takes advantage of Reo a little bit because he knows that Reo will do anything for him. But regardless, I think that Reo starts to develop an unspoken expectation with Nagi that he'll provide him with everything he needs, and in turn, Nagi will stick around. I don't think he's doing this intentionally, nor do I think it's being done in a manipulative way. I just think that Reo has a dormant fear of being abandoned that he doesn't totally know he has yet.

It isn't just Nagi that Reo showcases having unstable relationships with, though. Zantetsu is another good example. Reo starts out disliking Zantetsu, he snaps at him a couple times, and calls him a moron more than once. He starts to warm up to him because Nagi tells him to. The favorite person has MASSIVE sway in the borderline's life. If Nagi likes someone, Reo likes them too. (This is, of course, on the condition that they aren't a threat, looking at you Isagi).

In the immediate next chapter, Reo is acting like they're all best friends. He's climbing on top of them in their big bed, saying that the three of them are gonna win their matches, being a little pookie. He goes from not liking this guy at all to considering him one of his close friends super fast. Also on the topic of Isagi, when they're making up the teams for the second selection, Nagi doesn't initially want to tell Reo that he wants Isagi on their team bc he's worried Reo will be upset. But, when he does finally say it, Reo is literally fine with it because like I said, who Nagi likes, Reo likes! On the condition that they don't replace Reo, which clearly happened soon after.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, Reo also shows how he can go from loving someone to despising him very quickly. After Chigiri and Kunigami tell him to get back up in the game post-Nagi's abandonment, we can literally see the switch flip in Reo's head:

Suddenly, he hates Nagi. Nagi's a jerk who abandoned him; he never cared about him, and he threw him away. Dude literally says "Let's kill the bastards that betrayed us". This act of unintentional devaluing is called splitting. What Reo's essentially doing is going from one extreme to the other: if Nagi isn't his perfect treasure, he's the devil that broke his heart. There's no room for a grey area. The reasoning behind borderline's developing this black-and-white mindset is rooted in self-defense. If Reo devalues Nagi into being nothing more than a traitor, then he's stripping away the power that Nagi has to hurt him. If he looks at him like a rival or a villain, it's protecting him from being hurt by Nagi again.

That doesn't mean that he genuinely believes any of this, more so, he's trying to convince himself that it's true. We see that at his core, the reason he's acting like this is because he's hurt. I'll go more into it later on, but he's constantly thinking, what does Isagi have that I don't? What do I have to do in order to win Nagi back? This black-and-white thinking is an automatic self-defense mechanism that I think he's doing subconsciously. Regardless, the shifting he's doing here can cause a little whiplash, which brings me to:

Varied or random mood swings + Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights:

I can’t think of a better way to describe Reo's temperament than the wiki, so let me quote it: "Generally, he seems to feel every emotion with full force and is extremely aware of his own faults and shortcomings, which is evident in several instances of painful breakdowns shown in the spin-off manga. Due to his high emotionality, he can even get violent when he loses his temper."

Reo is characterized as being emotionally unstable. When he's happy, he's elated! When he's sad, he's miserable. There are a ton of scenes between the manga and spin-off manga that show how fast his emotions can flip, but this one was one of my personal favorites:

In this scene, Reo has developed a little scheme in the dining hall where the guys are trading their side dishes. At face value, a throwaway moment. But, I think it's worth looking at because not only does this show Reo's emotional response being triggered in an opposite, semi-extreme direction, but the root cause for the reaction was that he felt rejected by Zantetsu. In his own weird way, he's asking Zantetsu to come over and hang out with him. He's not being exceptionally clear with that message, but I can still pick up on it. "You wanna join in, don't you?" He's extending the invite, making himself vulnerable, and Zantetsu shoots him down by saying nah, I'm fine with my noodles. Reo JUMPS on him like YOU KNOW WHAT? I TOOK THAT PERSONALLY! lol. Jokes aside, I think this moment is a great one to argue Reo's BPD tendencies because it's such a seemingly mundane interaction. Even Zantetsu is surprised by Reo's random outburst. This also sets up the fact that one of Reo's most obvious triggers is being rejected/abandoned/betrayed, an extremely common one between those of us with BPD.

Other instances of Reo having a bad temper are a lot more obvious. In the match against teams V and Z, Reo straight up elbows Raichi in the throat, and then tries to go throw hands with Kuon for hurting Nagi. He only stops because if he gets into any more fights, he’ll get thrown out of the game and won't be able to play with Nagi anymore. He’s visibly pissed though and calls Team Z a joke. Hell, even Reo himself can recognize on a certain level that he can't control his emotions: they control him. They cloud his judgment and make him react in ways that he wish he didn't.

He is constantly plagued by these extreme emotional reactions that are out of his control. Not to say that people with BPD are unable to ever control their emotions, because we can! It takes time and therapy and practice though, which Reo hasn't had. His lack of regulation is also why he has such a dramatic and extreme meltdown when Nagi abandons him.

Fear of Abandonment:

Reo's biggest trigger and the cause of his inner turmoil throughout Blue Lock is his fear of abandonment. I mentioned before that I think he's had this fear dormant inside of him for a while as so many borderlines do, since he hasn't had the chance to experience it before. He alludes to it early on when they first arrive at Blue Lock:

The thought of leaving Nagi for somebody else? Reo considers that heartless. They came together, after all. They're going to win the world cup together. Nagi could break both of his legs and Reo wouldn't leave him, because again, Reo isn't there to team up with the best player and become the best striker in the world: he's there to play with Nagi!! And, like I said, in Reo's mind it's him and Nagi vs everyone else-

Reo exhibits a lot of signs early on of being jealous while they're playing in Blue Lock. I mean, as we discussed, everything should be focused around him and Nagi. When Nagi passes to Zantetsu in the team V and Y match, Reo pulls up like 'hey, why didn't you pass it to me?? ):' There are a lot of little moments like that, but Reo's jealousy is a lot more relevant to my argument after he gets abandoned by Nagi.

Let's talk about that word: abandoned. It seems dramatic, right? Reo uses that term constantly and exclusively. Every time he brings that moment up, he uses the word 'abandoned', or he'll say 'betrayed' or 'chose'. These are very definitive words. He’s not saying Nagi ditched him or flaked on him or blew him off, no; he has abandoned him. That word choice may seem disproportionate to the situation, but that's Reo's reality. This was the ultimate betrayal to him. The constant use of that vocabulary reiterates that in Reo's mind, there is no grey area. Either Nagi chooses him, or he chooses someone else. In choosing someone else, he abandons Reo. Reo is paranoid that Nagi isn't ever going to come back to him and it's because of something that Reo is lacking. How can Nagi like Isagi more than him, anyway?

Now, I do fault Nagi a bit for not communicating better at that moment. I understand that he's bad at communication, but I don't think Reo could have been more obviously upset if he tried. The dude was in TEARS. Nagi saw him devastated and then expected everything to be fine when he met him in the bathhouse? Idk. I'm going to give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he didn't realize it would upset Reo to such an extreme: maybe he thought that they would miss each other, but Reo wouldn't take it personally. I'm doing my best not to harp on Nagi since this is about Reo.

Abandonment is detrimental to people with BPD. It causes extreme inner turmoil that we see with Reo as the story progresses because it is the only thing he can think about. If he isn't trying to cover up his hurt feelings with this idea of revenge, he's self-destructing over being abandoned. He becomes obsessed with wondering why Nagi chose Isagi over him. Was there something wrong with him? Isagi isn't that impressive, why would Nagi rather be with him? These thoughts torture him endlessly and fuel his desire to 'steal' Nagi back. He literally says to Isagi, that he's going to steal Nagi back. Much to his dismay though, Reo starts to notice that Isagi is bringing out some positive traits in Nagi. Nagi's entire vibe is different with Isagi. Nagi is having fun playing soccer without Reo. In fact, he's having more fun. He's making plays he's never made before. His face is visibly different; he's more excited than before.

This is heartbreaking for Reo. Not only was he right that Isagi did have something to offer Nagi that he couldn't, but Reo is having a massive self-hate spiral during this point as well, so he's internalizing all of his flaws and mistakes while the thought is sitting in the back of his head: did Nagi actually have a good reason for abandoning me? Was I not enough to satisfy him? Did I only drag him down? This gets significantly worse the longer he watches Nagi and Isagi play:

Everything is falling apart. Nagi is doing completely fine without Reo, and Reo is an absolute mess. We're circling back to Reo's lack of identity here as well. He's watching firsthand that he's losing Nagi to Isagi: what does he do? What happens to him if he loses Nagi, who is he without Nagi? He's overwhelmed during this match and at one point Reo literally screams that he's going to tear apart their connection. Jealousy is consuming him, but it's also those feelings of inferiority and wondering if he really did deserve to be abandoned. If Nagi is so happy without him, maybe he really did have a reason. These are the thoughts that are circling around in Reo's head. Not to mention, he is constantly tortured by the flashbacks of Nagi leaving him, which I think is a great detail. Some readers might say it's just pointless recapping but I disagree, I think it's depicting how traumatic that was for Reo. As a borderline, being abandoned by your fp IS traumatic. Reo relives that moment so many times because so many things trigger it for him throughout Blue Lock. He can't even look at Chigiri and Kunigami without thinking about him and Nagi. It's a really devastating experience that quickly deteriorates him emotionally.

Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness + Suicidal behavior or self-injury:

One of my favorite things about Reo is the fact that he is self-aware that he's behaving somewhat irrationally, but he doesn't know how to stop. When we look at one of the several times that Reo is curled up crying over Nagi, he mentions how he really did want to tell Nagi to go and have fun, but he didn't. He couldn't. The visuals shift for this too:

Reo doesnt want to be acting this way, but he can't help it, and that's frustrating to him. It makes him start feeling ashamed of himself. His inner thoughts start to spiral and he feels weak and alone. He's reflecting here on what his true feelings really were at that moment, and how scared and lonely and weak he felt as a result of Nagi leaving him behind.

These feelings quickly evolve into Reo feeling worthless and falling into bouts of self-hatred. He's so ashamed of the way he's feeling and behaving but it feels so out of his control. He says, "maybe if I hadn't gone to Blue Lock in the first place, I wouldn't have to experience this feeling." As I said before, borderline's feel things EXTREMELY intensely; the disorder is described as living with third-degree burns all over your body. Everything hurts. His feelings are so intense and all-consuming right now, it's all he can think about:

I saw some posts in the fandom reddit asking why Reo is acting like this. One in particular reads: "I get that he is betrayed and stuff but he is acting like it’s the end of the world, is it explained later why he acts like this? Is it because he doesn’t think he can win without Nagi?" Not to call this person out, I just want to answer the question in this post-

It has nothing to do with winning; it was never about winning. It was always about Nagi.

If we're looking at Reo through the borderline lens, it IS the end of the world for him. Nagi was his world. What's worse, he's fully aware that he's not acting rationally and he doesn't know why, which is making him feel ashamed and weak and embarrassed. Now I know why he's acting like this, but there are no Blue Lock psychiatrists sitting around to wack him with the mood stabilizers or the DBT handbook, so he's gonna stay feeling like a monster.

He lets these thoughts, along with the resentment and anger from being abandoned in the first place, fuel him for the second selection match. As he's watching the game play out, as Nagi is about to score the winning goal, Reo's mind starts racing with intrusive, negative thoughts.

He's praying that Nagi fails, that he gives up, that he stops trying, anything to stop that solidifying moment where he scores the winning goal and proves once and for all that not only was Reo not strong enough to stop him, but Nagi doesn't need him anymore. He catches himself really quickly, because he realizes he's sounding just like his parents. Everything is spinning out of control so bad, Reo wants Nagi to end up in a vulnerable position so that he isn't the only one falling apart. As he catches himself thinking this, he's disgusted with himself. He calls himself 'utter trash', and as he watches Nagi score the winning goal, he falls to his knees, wishing he was dead.

As he sits there decomposing in emotional turmoil and suicidal ideation, Nagi's team chooses Chigiri to join them, and it's the nail in the coffin. This is probably Reo's lowest point in the entire story IMO. Nagi comes up to compliment him on his plays and Reo shows us another classic borderline move: he's anticipating how bad it's going to hurt to be abandoned by Nagi again, so he's trying to push him away before it can happen. We see the dichotomy of his spoken words and inner thoughts here, where he's talking big game to Nagi, saying things like 'you clearly don't care about me anymore, you're throwing me away, if you're going to abandon me just do it properly', while internally he's thinking 'I'm the worst, I wish I was dead, please take this bait and break my heart so that I can self destruct in peace'.

i LOVE the visuals during this moment. This is what Reo thinks is his last line of defense, the last thing he can do to preserve any part of his dignity is to make Nagi hate him so that he'll stop throwing these crumbs of affection at him. It's also really telling that despite his switch in behavior and the devaluing of Nagi, the root of all of that is STILL that he was so hurt by the abandonment.

I don't think I need to analyze the suicidal ideation because he just straight up says he wants to die like three times in this scene but, aside from that, the visual of his inner thoughts vs what he's actually saying is so powerful. Not to mention the chameleon imagery which i'll geek out about in a second, this is another example of his black and white thinking along with the reiteration that being abandoned was literally traumatic for Reo: he says they can never go back to what they were before. Speaking as a borderline, this is painfully true. When people break my trust even in a small way, I can never view them the same as I used to. I can forgive them and let it go, but I'll never be as open with them as I once was. In Reo's shoes, he had Nagi up on this pedestal that he was perfect and would never do anything to hurt him, but he did hurt him (in the worst way possible).

After Nagi tells him he's a pain in the ass and that he doesn't care anymore, Reo thanks him for 'finishing him off'. In his mind, they're done now and he can suffer in peace and quiet without dragging Nagi down anymore.

Bonus Point: The Chameleon Effect

I LOVE THE FACT THAT HIS THING IS CHAMELEONS AHHHH

The chameleon imagery with Reo makes me INSANE dude. As I mentioned towards the beginning of this post, a part of borderline that is seldom talked about is the tendency to take on 'the chameleon effect', or mirror the people around them. REO'S ENTIRE THING IS CHAMELEONS LIKE BFFR ?? That image where he was trying to get Nagi to hate him, was before he even started using his chameleon style, it was just something the authors thought was necessary to include during Reo's mental breakdown. Aside from the cool imagery, his chameleon style is a reflection of his relationship with Nagi. He gets called a jack of all trades and a master of none early on in reference to how when he’s without Nagi, hes not really exceptional at anything. He never really took the time to master one specific thing because he was always so concerned with helping Nagi. This rings my BPD bell for a couple reasons: first of all, when you have no sense of identity and you’re worried it means you have no real personality ?? Steal one!! Take the closest person to you and copy that one. That’s something us baddies know VERY well. Also, think there’s something about you that your fp doesn’t like? Change it! You can morph into anything they want as long as it means they won’t leave you !! :*) Before he makes up with Nagi, he copies moves in hopes that it'll make him stronger and appear more desirable to Nagi. After they make up, he copies whoever he has to so that he can get Nagi to that goal and make himself useful, make himself somebody that Nagi wants to have around. It is a literal direct metaphor for him changing anything and everything about himself for Nagi and graaaahhhh it’s so cool

Reonagi ?? Some thoughts-

I want to close this yap session with my thoughts on Reonagi as a ship. I do think that they can work and I want to make that clear. I'm not on board with the 'borderlines arent capable of having loving and fulfilling relationships' crap. That being said, they both have to put in a bit of effort. Reo has already recognized a lot of his own issues. He admits that he was wrong for pushing his ideals onto Nagi, that he needs to let Nagi grow and be his own person, etc. Nagi really hasn't accepted any fault. I stand by the fact that Nagi needs to be more sensitive with Reo. Way too often when a relationship like this fails, all the blame is put on the one with borderline. I'm gonna be the outlier here and say that if Nagi cares about Reo, he needs to learn about Reo's triggers and be mindful of them. I'm not saying that since Reo is sensitive to abandonment that Nagi should just isolate himself from everybody else, but what I am saying is that when he's going to do something that doesn't involve Reo, he needs to learn how to communicate that he still loves and values Reo. "I'm gonna go play soccer with this person right now, but I haven't forgotten about our promise. When I come back, we can play together. I still love you and I'm not going to leave you for whoever tf I'm playing with rn." (sneaking that 'i love you' in bc like..they're literally canon at this point asdfghjkll) But, I do think that Nagi loves Reo and cares about him in his own way. The two of them just have to keep working on their communication skills. Nagi has the potential to have a hot rich husband who will literally bend over backward for him and buy him all the robux he could ever want, he's gotta put in a shred of effort!

I also like to think that Nagi didn’t totally get the fact that Reo doesn’t gaf about just playing soccer. Nagi thinks soccer is what they do together, it’s what makes reo happy, right? He’s always pushing him to train harder and take the game more seriously because he likes the sport, RIGHT? It would make perfect sense to go play with isagi so that he can get better at soccer and come back to reo a more improved player. Maybe that’s why he was surprised when Reo was so mad in the bathhouse, bc he wasn’t making the connection that Reo cares more about him than soccer. That Reo puts all that energy into him playing soccer because he thinks it’s something that they can have as their own, and once Nagi notices how good he is, he’ll start enjoying it and the two of them can hold hands and run around the soccer pitch!! I think Nagi missed that part tbh, and I don’t think he know that even now in the story. Maybe Reo doesn’t even notice it.

Anyway, a shameless plug to my reonagi playlist if that's your thing (i cooked with this one, i fear) https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5CsvSqmuI4cxOl1nTaV4GJ?si=737a0f21e0bd482a

Closing Thoughts:

Reo is a bpd baddie and I love him very much. I think he's a sensitive guy with a lot of feelings who would benefit from taking time to work through his trauma and his emotions. I hope that he eventually is able to build an identity for himself that doesn't involve Nagi, but baby steps, I suppose. I think Reo is a great balance of positive and negative borderline traits and he reads as a really believable and sympathetic character. He is, however, definitely that friend that you have to slap to stop them from running back to their ex.

Jokes aside though, BPD can be extremely hard to live with, even more so when it's undiagnosed and untreated. If someone you love has BPD, take the time to read up on it and do your best to understand them. I promise you, it will mean the world to them.

If you managed to get this far, thank you for reading! This was a messy stream of consciousness and I appreciate your support by listening.

#blue lock #reo mikage #reonagi #nagireo #nagi seishiro #bpd

[cosmics-beings]

okay so finally my unpopular opinions on the starscream es episode.i liked the starscream episode as you know, because it was nice and important for his abuse to be validated. and it was even more libearting to see a Steve Blum voiced starscream get his justice because of how poorly tfp starscream was abused and it was made into a joke and seen as something he 'deserved'.

but I've been wanting to also just share my critique on it for some time! it's a little critical, so just putting that out there if you don't like earthspark or starscream critique you should skip over this. I've spoken a lot of positive things about the episode so these are just my thoughts. so warning, heavy critique.

my main issues are fandom's treatment of hashtag, and people using the episode to perpetuate the 'perfect victim' mentality on starscream and forget that he's flawed and nuanced.

starting with hashtag, i really don't like how a lot of fans make hashtag "mother" starscream and act almost as if she's supposed to be his caretaker, when she is a minor, who is facing her own trauma. i think she was needed to validate starscream and to make him feel that his own abuse is real and that it isn't his fault for getting abused.

but i also think people took that and decided to a.) make hashtag his mother figure and b.) use it to excuse the way he treated and was borderline abusive to others (i.e him kicking his trine mates when they were on the ground, and since they were female character no one actually cared).

i think hashtag was needed as a completely neutral source to make starscream's own trauma's validated and to show the viewers that his abuse isn't funny, and that just because megatron is 'good' doesn't mean that it's excusable and that starscream has to like him. moreso, it's important to show that children can also call out and understand abuse. that was why hashtag needed to do it. it doesn't matter how much megatron was a part of her family and practically an uncle figure to her, he still abused someone and she still recognized that.

BUT at the same time, i don't like the idea that the fandom props his emotional trauma and responsibility on HER. in a lot of fics, aus, etc, hashtag is usually made to be starscream's caretaker without any sort of care for her or her trauma. and i think people forget hashtag is a child, shit some people ship them (ew) because they like to make her the one to care for him. Hashtag is a child, and is completely innocent and he own trauma should be validated and honestly, discussed as much as starscream's. People don't really see her or let her exist outside of Starscream. Her trauma is at large, ignored by the fandom and if people care about it, it's only to validate what starscream went through, and never to have him actually caring about her. that's why i like to write fics where HE helps her, because she is still a child and he is an adult.

ths isn't talking about fan content where starscream is literally hashtag's father figure, which i enjoy. i like when content portrays hashtag being a kid, and starscream being a parental figure to her, but that tends to be a small majority of hashtag and starscream content.

and this brings me to the perfect victim mentality that is harmful in fandom spaces but i see it's impacting starscream.

the perfect victim mentality is this idea that in order for an abuse victim's abuse to be validated, they have to be perfect and innocent. they can do no wrong and even their own actions need to be pacified or excused because if they are one bit of flawed or problematic, then that ruins their victim status.

this is why tfp wasn't seen as a victim, because he was evil, he was abusive, he was dangerous, and the writers made a choice to perpetrate the thought that all abuse victims MUST be perfect and if they aren't, then they deserve their abuse.

this is what's happening to es starscream, but the opposite way.

starscream isn't responsible at all for the abuse megatron put him through, and no amount of think pieces are going to change that. but hashtag telling starscream that his abuse isn't his fault, isn't an excuse for how he's treated and abused others. he was a fascist, a war criminal, committed multiple genocides, and in various continuities abused others both before and after he met megatron.

again he was even physically kicking his trine mates and that implies that it's a common occurrence and it's happened before. hashtag also pretty much confirmed it. i know BCS skywarp and nova are women you guys don't really care about them, but the way starscream was treating them wasn't okay.

he is still an abuse victim, but that doesn't excuse his treatment of others.

A lot of people tend to use megatron's treatment of starscream to excuse Starscream's abusive action toward others. Meaning there is this idea that because Megatron abused Starscream, then we can't really hold him (starscream) accountable for his actions toward others, and that is false. Yes, Megatron abused starscream but that doesn't give him a slap on the wrist or an excuse for things he did! And if you are trying to excuse Starscream's actions because of how megatron treated him, then you are also saying that we can't hold megatron accountable for how he treated starscream.

because megatron abuses starscream in response to his own trauma and abuse. and even if he does, he still needs to be called out for it. JUST as starscream should be held accountable for his actions.

Starscream still is a villain, he still did terrible awful things that i hope earthspark addresses. He still caused genocide, because he could, he still killed, because he wanted to! again, it was implied that he was abusive to his crew, if hashtag didn't call him out, he would've been abusive to her because he was going to use her as a hostage. earlier i saw someone trying to explain and excuse that starscream wasn't a problematic person because 'the other seekers are following him' but they had no choice. and then this person really tried to act as if him being 'toxic' to them isn't problematic and that's the issue. you can't cherry pick what is and what isn't abusive because it's a character you like, even if that character is a victim.

the perfect victim mentality skews people's perspective on abuse and makes it seem like you have to be innocent to be an abuse victim. and it scares me because a lot of people have tricked themselves into believing that starscream is a good person who doesn't need redemption and hasn't done anything wrong. and I'm terrified because when he actually starts to act like Starscream, fandom is either gonna turn on him or try to excuse his villainous actions.

So that said, those are my main two critiques with the starscream earthspark episode.

hashtag isn't starscream's mother but it seems the majority of the fandom went with it. and ties her worth and her importance to him.

and likewise, starscream is an abusive victim but he isn't perfect, and that's okay. abuse victims don't have to be perfect to have their abuse taken seriously and i don't think that's realized enough in fandom spaces.

#starscream #hashtag malto #transformers #transformers earthspark #tf earthspark

[theerurishipper]

Also, Adrien's arc isn't about learning to stand up for himself because he is too weak and pathetic to do so like some people claim. It is about him learning he is allowed to after a lifetime of believing he is only worth something if he tries to please everyone and that he has to earn his father's love. It is about learning that he deserves more than that and that he doesn't have to put up with him. It isn't about standing up to him, it is about breaking away from him entirely. Because as long as Adrien is under that roof, Gabriel has all the power. His arc isn't about learning to be brave enough to face Gabriel, it's about finding his self-worth and realizing that he deserves to. Adrien is perfectly capable of standing up for himself. Because trust me, the boy who throws himself in danger on the daily to protect the city from a terrorist has no shortage of bravery. It's why I don't use the words "stand up for himself" very often while talking about Adrien, because that's not his arc.

We see what happens when Adrien tries to rebel. Gabriel always punishes him or gaslights him into staying and believing it's his fault. Adrien doesn't make excuses for Gabriel because he's a doormat, it's because he loves him. Adrien has always stood up to Gabriel. But he stays because he ultimately believes that his father is right (because Gabriel is a manipulative piece of shit and an authority figure over him) and because he loves him and wants to believe the best of him. His story is about finding true connections and relationships with other and learning that he deserves unconditional love, and realizing that his father is a bad person. "Standing up to Gabriel" will do jack shit for him. He's seen first-hand plenty of times what that does. Removing himself entirely from that situation is what he needs. And he can only do that if he realizes he as a person deserves to do so. He stays under Gabriel because he loves him and believes that he is only worth as much as he is able to please Gabriel, which is why he doesn't constantly fight against Gabriel's control. Again, his arc isn't about "growing a spine" or whatever deranged victim blamey shit some people come up with, it's about realizing that Gabriel is full of shit and is completely wrong about what he says to him and how he treats him, realizing that he doesn't have to stay, and finally breaking away from him entirely because he's realized his own worth is and what real love is like, and so now he knows he deserves better.

It's not about learning how to stand up for himself, it's about realizing he can. It's not about "learning to fight back instead of taking the poor treatment" or whatever, it's about realizing that he's been treated poorly. Again, Adrien doesn't not "fight back" because he's a coward, he doesn't fight back because Gabriel is manipulative, and Adrien believes him because he loves him and because he's been conditioned to be subservient to his father his whole life. Once more, his arc is not about "growing a backbone" or whatever, it's about him realizing who his father really is and breaking free. There is a fundamental misconception in this fandom about what "asserting himself" and "standing up for himself" means for Adrien. It doesn't mean that he should become braver and "less passive" or something. He's already brave enough to assert himself and his self-worth, but what he needs to do is to find that self-worth which Gabriel has chipped away from him his whole life. He's brave enough to protest cruel treatment already, but what he needs to learn is that he is being treated cruelly. He needs to learn what unconditional love truly is and that his father loving him doesn't excuse him. "Standing up for himself" is about recognizing and asserting his right to be treated properly, not about becoming brave and confrontational and "not passive" enough to do that. "Standing up" isn't about him learning how to stand up for himself, it's about him learning that he deserves to. That is what him standing up to Gabriel leads to. Not him becoming braver and being able to do it, but him gaining his self-worth and autonomy and allowing himself to do it. That's what the significance of the moment is (or should have been since it didn't happen, fuck you Season 5).

#MLB #Miraculous Ladybug #Adrien Agreste #Gabriel Agreste #Meta #My meta #ML Fandom Salt #ML Salt

[yuikomorii]

After thinking more deeply about it, people shouldn’t get mad when seeing the majority shipping AyaYui because they are the most perfect for each other…not always in the good way. They are both obsessive weirdos that are unable to communicate properly and end up doing so much dumb shit that not only hurts them but also the ones around them.

Now I’m not saying they are the most problematic characters in the game, but they just are such menaces for whoever is connected to them. They be wondering why Yui wouldn’t make such a good couple with Subaru and Azusa but the reason is that they’re exactly too soft for her. They just want a kind and motherly girl but Yui keeps putting them in uncomfortable situations, doesn’t respect their boundaries and is unable to comprehend their introversion. Ik she was in a dangerous situation at first but that’s over after the second game, isn’t it? They started dating so if that’s what she truly wanted, she has to take responsibility for that and bring her brain to work.

Now about Mr. Yours Truly, he wasn’t irredeemably bad in the first game but he was such an asshole, let’s be frank. After the first game, Yui started treating him poorly or, again , not paying attention to whatever he was going through but I just couldn’t feel bad for him. They both fucked eachother up so bad but in an equal way so I can’t say any of them is better than the other, like some of their individual fans do. I’m not saying this about the Admin but some Yui and Ayato stans must actually hate the characters and only love their fanon version of them. Just because they forgive their abusers and are friendly doesn’t make them the kindest character anyone has ever seen. They did too many bad things to be considered the kindest and I’m not gonna follow the “they went insane” excuse because I really don’t care. All characters are insane and broken but not all of them did as much shit as they did.

I’m not justifying anything from that dick but e.g. when Karlheinz commits a genocide to make ghouls, he is said to have abused his powers and is evil but when Yui commits a genocide because her cute Ayato-kun 〜 died and kills all living things on both worlds, that’s seen as romantic? Like that’s extremely evil and selfish of her too. Or when others complain about the vampires being possessive and jealous, when Yui is the same person that stabbed Shu and threw him in the dungeon afterwards out of jealousy and she also paralysed Ayato then used him as her pleasure slave only because he drank blood from other chicks. Again, I’m not excusing them but she’s just as worse when triggered enough. All the fanwars are stupid when the game only has characters that wouldn’t be perceived as mentally sane or innocent angels in real life.

// Uuh… you kinda worded it a bit too harshly but I do get where you come from.

The thing is Yui, Ayato, Azusa, Subaru and Yuma are characters described by Rejet as either pure or kind-hearted, yet this doesn’t mean they necessarily have to be saints sent from above 24/7. Good people can react horribly under stress, pressure or shock. Yes, they can do wrong stuff and treat others badly as a result, but this doesn’t mean they have a bad soul. Trauma is not the same from person to person and everyone reacts to it differently. It can turn good people into monsters depending on the severity of the circumstances and some might never come back to their original nature. And, even if they do, this will not excuse their actions, but as long as they try to change for the better and take accountability, I believe they deserve a second chance.

Rejet makes Yui go mad in some endings and After stories to demonstrate that she is capable of doing something as awful as the Diaboys if an event hits her hard enough, just like it did to them. And, to be honest, that's realistic. Of course, not the story, but the fact that every person, no matter how strong, has a breaking point.

Speaking of the genocide committed by Yui, the reason why it’s considered romantic is not the deed itself, but the fact Yui created an Ayato ghoul after exterminating everything, only because she wanted to be killed by the man she loved. I think this was the only time Yui seriously used her brain, and the fact she was crazy when doing that, makes it hilarious.

As for the Yandere endings, Yui does that to Shu in MB, if I recall correctly but it was so unexpected because she really didn’t get any vibes throughout the route, therefore I guess it was just random writing. In Ayato’s route, the obsessive tendencies were obvious when she started looking through Ayato’s swimsuit magazines and tried measuring her boobs to the ones of those girls. I was pretty sure she would pull a possessive move on him later on, lol.

Truth be told, I don't mind that in fictional couples as long as they're both obsessed with each other and it's not one-sided. Besides, it’s funny how even Ruki called Yui “Ayato obsessed” in CL.

As a DL fan, I understand that no character is a total green flag because they all display toxic behavior in regular circumstances, no matter if intentional or not. Nonetheless, that shouldn’t stop us from loving them. Some people prefer the softer aspects of DL, while others prefer the darker, but keep in mind that those who prefer talking well about their favs don't want to be always reminded of all the bad things they did, especially if those characters regret them or weren't in the best mental state at the time.

#admin

[nedjsmlfavs]

So Derision Broke Me…

Derision (Miraculous S5E14) made some choices that fundamentally broke Marinette’s character for me to the point where I’m having trouble motivating myself to keep writing for this fandom. I figured I’d write down my thoughts and see if that helped me get into a headspace where I can ignore this episode like I do any other writing choices I’m not fond of. If anyone has some words of wisdom, I'd love to hear them.

In Derision, we learn that Marinette has some serious trauma surrounding love. When she was 13, she confessed her love to Kim and was rewarded with a box full of spiders. This “prank” understandably left her traumatized and shaken to her core. In response to that trauma, she vowed to never confess her love to another boy. Not unless she knew everything about him.

This “prank” and several others are revealed to be the fault of Chloé. As for why she’s doing this, well, we’re never given a reason why Marinette is the target. However, we are told the motivation for Chloé’s actions. Rose blames them on the fact that Chloé was abandoned by her mother. Mylène responds to this observation by pointing out that she was also abandoned by her mother, but that didn’t turn her into a bully! Which is a fair point. People react differently to trauma and trauma doesn’t justify bad behavior or undo the effects of those bad behaviors. At the most, trauma explains why the behavior is happening. A lesson that Miraculous has given us before.

In the character Félix’s titular episode, Félix shows up and starts treating Adrien poorly. This leads to this exchange between Adrien and Plagg:

Plagg: What's up with that cousin of yours? First, he searches through your things, and then, the most unforgivable thing of all, he squashes my hunk of goat's cheese under your pillow! I'd been maturing that baby for two weeks! Do you realize? Two whole weeks! Adrien: Listen, Plagg. Félix lost his dad not so long ago, he's probably not himself. Plagg: I'm sorry, but there's just no excuse! You never touch my cheese, and yet, you just lost your mother not so long ago, right?

And, once again, this is a fair observation! The fact that Félix’s father died does not justify Felix trying to ruin Adrien’s life. All it does is explain his motivation. 

Trauma does not excuse hurting others. When trauma has negative effects on us, it’s up to us to work through those feelings either on our own or, ideally, with the help of loved ones and therapists. We are never justified in lashing out at innocents who had nothing to do with our trauma.

This brings us to the topic of Marinette. 

The fact that Marinette has trauma around romance does not justify her treatment of Adrien. Breaking into his home, trying to sabotage his relationship with Kagami, and all of her other obsessive behaviors are not okay just because she was traumatized by Kim. If Chloe and Felix are not excused by their trauma, then neither is she.

So why am I only bothered by this now?

Because, before this episode, Marinette’s behavior was very clearly a joke. It was, in my opinion, a bad joke, but it was a joke and, when it comes to writing, jokes have to be looked at differently than things that are played straight.

Miraculous relies heavily on absurdist humor. That’s why you’ve got an episode where Adrien and his teenage friends throw an unchaperoned party attended by a bunch of random adults. A thing that would be horrifying and upsetting in reality, but is fine in the show because it’s clearly played as being ridiculous and over the top. I mean, just look at this scene. Anyone taking this seriously has clearly lost the plot.

Marinette’s obsession fell under the same category. Something that would be very wrong in reality, but was obviously being played up for laughs. I was always under the impression that, without the absurdist humor, she’d be significantly toned down and that’s why I just sort of tolerated it in the show. Not my idea of a good joke, but clearly a joke so meh. I can overlook it while watching the show and, when writing her, I can be true to her character while not including this level of obsession because I don’t write crack fic.

Derision changed that. It took 4.5 seasons of questionable jokes and tried to justify them. And that? That is a terrible idea. Because there is no justification for Marinette’s behavior just like there is no justification for Chloe’s behavior in the exact same episode. What they’re doing is wrong and, at best, their trauma explains their behavior. It does not justify it.

Plus, hey, remember how Derision said Kim was a terrible person for laughing at Marinette’s trauma? Isn’t that the exact same thing that we’ve all unknowingly been doing for 4.5 seasons? Kinda makes it hard to rewatch old episodes where her crush was played for laughs, doesn’t it? I hope you’ve never laughed over Marinette’s behavior because, if you have, you’ve been making fun of her trauma and so have the writers.

And that sums up why this episode really bothers me. I either have to ignore a character’s trauma or I have to accept that her trauma has apparently made her unhinged and address it. Because if her behavior is not a bad joke, then the salters are right and Marinette is a total creep. I’m trying my hardest to choose option one, but I’m struggling.

It’s not that Marinette is the only character with questionable behavior. Adrien as Chat Noir is often written as overly persistent and obnoxious when it comes to his crush. It’s not great behavior, but it’s not a consistent characterization nor is it a major flaw. I can fix it with a quick character arc about boundaries or ignore it and (in my head) say that arc happened off screen because I have no doubt that this sort of common teenage issue could be overcome with relative ease. Because when Chat Noir is put in a situation where he could clearly violate Ladybug’s boundaries? He doesn’t. He is, ultimately, respectful. He just needs to be told that respect is more than listening to the explicit “no”.

Deep-seated trauma that leads to stalking? That’s not a minor flaw. It’s a major issue that reveals the need for psychological intervention. I’m not gonna give that to a teenager and fix it with the power of friendship and communication. Nor will I give the stalker her prize. I’m gonna keep him safe because, if Marinette has this level of romance-based trauma, then she is not mentally well enough to be a relationship with someone.

You see, I’ve had people with obsessive crushes who violated my boundaries. A loved one of mine had to get the police involved because of someone’s crush on them. Stalking and obsessive behavior is not a joke. It’s traumatizing, but even though I have that trauma, Miraculous never bothered me because of how the stalking was played as a joke.

Joke's over, though. As of Derision, we are supposed to take Marinette's behavior at face value.

So, yeah. I don’t know where I go from here. It’s been a week and I just have no desire to ever touch Marinette again. If anyone has some words of advice, I’d love to hear them. And I’m sorry, but it may be a while before anything of mine updates.

#miraculous salt #marinette salt #ml season 5 #ml derision #derision salt #derision spoilers #ml derision spoilers #ml s5 spoilers #ml writing salt #ml season 5 salt #miraculous season 5

[kyouka-supremacy]

Hot take, Bones doesn't deserve the amount of hate they are getting. Some, I understand but the amount I'm seeing is ridiculous. They have multiple projects they're working on and I get it, rushing through BSD isn't great but they can't animate everything. Also... the way they animated Aku makes more sense. Hard to give a soft smile losing such a large amount of blood from your neck.

Mmh, I understand that it can be disheartening to see something you like so heavily criticized, but I do believe the studio is doing some major mess up this season and that people are legitimately enraged.

I'm the first one to say that we're all here to have fun and there's not really any point on focusing on things we dislike, but I think it's also valid to be upset when something you care about a lot is treated unlovingly, and people are in their own right to express such disappointment. Moreover, I feel like in this case there is a point in expressing one's disdain. It's important to be critic of the media we consume: we could all pretend to be satisfied and settle on complacency, but wouldn't that be deeply detrimental? Otherwise, sometimes it's important to acknowledge and even state loud that you don't like something, because it's only by recognizing something is wrong that people can get to work to change it and improve. If we all tamely pretended we liked the new season, if there was no one to ever evaluate its direction, animation quality, pace, there's little hope for any of them to improve, simply because there's no need to change something people are happy with.

Theodor W. Adorno is my favorite sociologist. He once said, “the splinter in your eye is the best magnifying-glass available”. With that he meant that pain is the greatest source of knowledge. Pain allows to see things that otherwise would go unnoticed: only by acknowledging pain one can understand that something is wrong, that something needs to be changed and improved. I think it's always important to state: “this is wrong”, because nothing can ever be fixed if you don't first recognize it's broken.

Personally, I do believe what Bones studio is doing is wrong. I don't think it's fair to have such a drastic quality drop with the last season just like it wasn't in the third. I don't think it's right to not have an original opening sequence nor an ending sequence (that we know of). I don't think it's right to have such a fast pace that you can't keep up with the events. I don't think it's right to have a season filled with reused animations. I don't think it's right to have very little animation to the point there's up to 36 seconds of the same static frame in a single scene. I don't think it's right to have a quality drop in the drawings and quality inconsistency between one episode and the next. I think it's outrageous that the Fukuchi vs. sskk fight was so poorly animated and completely striped of any emotion. I don't think it's right of them to assassinate Akutagawa's chapter 88 panel. But most of all, I don't think it's right to have a season come out three months after the other. I don't think that's in any way ethically sustainable, and I don't think anyone needed that. I don't think it's right that studios don't get that people don't want an uninterrupted flow of content, people want quality content, and it's important to say that, or they'll never get it. I think they messed up greatly with this season, and I don't think being working on multiple projects can use as an excuse in any way, because as a studio you should be able to tell when you've got your hands too full to handle another project without meeting the quality standard. If Bones studio was working on too many projects, they simply shouldn't have set this season up for release so early, because again, NO ONE needs a new season after just three months.

I can see why you would say that the way they animated Akutagawa's last words makes more sense. It definitely is more rushed, and ugly. I guess one could argue that it conveys how death is precipitous and unpleasant, and doesn't leave space for last words. ... But I highly doubt that much was intentional. The sskk scene in its entirety was so poorly curated that I can hardly see the direction make thematically relevant choices. Even in the rare hypothesis it was a conscious and intentional directing choice, the outcome was still extremely underwhelming, because the moment itself doesn't feel rushed in particular since it's coming right after an episode that was rushed in its entirety.

I agree Akutagawa's death scene in the manga isn't realistic the slightest. But realism in that moment was never what the reader was asking for in the first place! It's a moment of conclusion for Akutagawa. It's the end of his cruel and hated life, and the author chooses to end it in kindness. By giving him a moment to smile and redeem himself, the author is showing Akutagawa the compassion he never received in his violence ridden life. Death scenes in media are almost never meant to be realistic! Their main aim is to move the audience, not to portray a realistic death. It's part of the deal the audience makes with the media the second they start interacting with it, to suspend their belief in order to enjoy the media at its fullest. It's, fundamentally, the same reason why you wouldn't question the characters having superpowers.

All the same, if you find yourself to be on average satisfied with the anime, that's perfectly valid too!!! I'm sorry people's disappointment may have resulted disheartening, and I understand it's hard to avoid, but my best advice is to try and curate your own internet experience to be so that you see the least negativity as possible. You might want to consider blocking and unfollowing people whose comments you find unpleasant, even if it's just temporary for the time the season airs. If it gets too much, refrain from visiting the main tag on Wednesdays when new episodes drop if that can work for you. I recognize we as a fandom could work better to build a space that is enjoyable for people who are liking the new season and wouldn't want to meet so much negativity, and I'm the first to admit I've been quite inconsistent in tagging my posts recently, so in the future I'll try to tag negativity accordingly. I do appreciate you for reaching out and sharing your opinion Anon! Let's all work together to build a better fandom space for everyone (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*.✧

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd s5 #bsd season 5 #bsd negativity #mine #people asks me stuff #Look‚ an opening sequence is the bare MINIMUM. I knew the season would have been a bad one the second I saw the opening. #If you don't have an opening ready‚ just postpone the release. Seriously. It's infinitely better than releasing an half assed season. #Nobody wants that. We're not getting a second chance to see chapter 88 panel animated‚ it's just gone.

[alostlittleriverlotus]

the fact narcissists, antisocials, pwPDs are required to be in recovery and getting help to be treated with decent respect and still won't get that respect because people will see the disorder and instantly think abuser/not human/psychopath/sociopath in derogatory ways says a lot.

We are told to get help, but the ableism of (disorder) abuse prevents us from getting help. The demonization of us prevents us from even finding resourceful articles to help us. Many professionals won't treat personality disorders because of stigma. Yet we're told to get and help and are treated like we're the ones unwilling to get help. That it makes us less acceptable because we don't get help.

If we have to be perfect human beings in recovery and so mature and self aware and basically everything positive and nothing negative to be worthy of respect and still will have people bombard us for simply having a disorder, that is ableist. These expectations wouldn't be on neurotypical shitty people or those without personality disorders. And the group of those with BPD lumping themselves in with being "anti narcissist" do nothing. These same stereotypes were there for BPD. I've seen BPD called Bratty Princess Disorder, told that they can't love, been called an emotional leech for having BPD.

The requirement that we must all be perfectly recovered healthy people to be acceptable and not treated like dirt or like monsters is the ableism we are calling out. But then narc abuse folks will take their trauma and use it as an excuse for throwing us under the bus.

Guess what. My abusive mom has NPD. The NPD doesn't make her abusive. She simply is a narcissist (neutral usage.) She's not abusive cause she has NPD. It doesn't make her more likely to be abusive. Her NPD doesn't create a unique type of abuse. She's just my mom that's abusive that has NPD cause of her own trauma. That's it.

Like I have to monitor my tone, I have to ensure everything I do is written perfectly, just to avoid being hurled verbal abuse and being told I'm a liar or treated poorly. I have to work so hard to be the patient and calm one and still won't be taken seriously. And if we're using abuse as justification, using my own emotions against me is exactly what my abusers did. I am not lesser because I get upset. I am not lesser because I have emotional regulation problems. I am not lesser because I don't monitor my tone. A lot of these also intertwine with my autism and BPD too.

So yeah. Telling someone to go get help or they should be in therapy fucking sucks. You don't know us, you don't know our experiences. Telling narcissists and pwPDs in general to be in therapy while simultaneously making it difficult for us to get help is ableist. We can't look up npd without being bombarded with how to spot a narcissist. Using the narcissism tag shows a lot of narc abuse stuff that stigmatizes us. And when we explain and ask you, calmly or not, you will not listen and paint us as villainous. You fit your own definition of narcissism by that logic. Big scary narcissism.

Maybe if you want narcissists to get better, stop making it difficult for us to get help. And you may not want narcissists dead, but I have seen natc abuse people who do. Look who you are siding yourself with. Look at the arguments you use and really examine them. They are similar thinking to other forms of ableism and other types of bigotry. We are expected to act perfectly or we are discredited.

No disorder makes someone more likely to be abusive. An abuser having a disorder that may impact the abuse does not make it (disorder) abuse. This kind of ableism WILL come back at you and is STILL being used against all disorders even if it's only popular for certain disorders. You won't win this way.

We just want you to fucking listen without getting defensive and using your trauma as a reason to feel justified in being ableist. I'm sorry for what you went through, but it will NEVER give you the right to stigmatize a group of people and lump a disorder in with abusers.

The things I've seen narcissists called or compared to is disgusting. Seeing psychopath narcissist is disgusting. Actually just be normal about mentally ill people for fucking once. And if we're using trauma to justify stuff, WE ARE TRAUMA VICTIMS AND ABUSE VICTIMS TOO!!!!!!!

Literally just stfu and stop. I've made posts being nicer about it, but frankly it's 2:30 am and I don't give a shit. I'm mad. And me being mad does not discredit anything I have said. You can listen or you can block me and move on.

Again, this post is very centered on narcissists/npd, but this goes for any abuse that may get treated as abusive. Y'all are just as welcome here in this safe space. Any disorder that gets lumped in with abuse is welcome here cause fuck that ableism. You're not abusive for having a disorder. Your disorder doesn't make you more likely to be abusive. You don't deserve the shit you get. We love you here :)

#narcissists #narcissism #narcissistic #narcissistic abuse #narcissistic mom #narcissistic abuse isn't real #actually narcissistic #actually npd #npd #narc abuse #narc abuse isn't real #surviving narcissism #narcissistic personality disorder #actually traumatized #abuse victim #abuse survivor #npd safe #be fucking normal about mentally ill people for once #ableism #npd stigma #npd abuse #ableist

[slycooperconfessions]

This isn't a confession, I just wanted to have a discussion about this because I'm curious to see if anyone else feels the same way. Does anyone else feel like Sly 4 sort of retroactively lowered your opinion of Sly 3? Because I've realized a lot of the poor writing decisions in Sly 4 stem directly from flaws in Sly 3's own writing. For example, I hated the villain twist with Penelope in Sly 4. But I've actually seen a few people defending it, saying that Penelope was always kind of sketchy with her whole Black Baron persona. And to be honest, they're kind of not wrong. Sly 3 never really did give us much of an explanation for why the hell Penelope acts so different as the Baron. Honestly, as the Baron she's fucking RUTHLESS. She's willing to cheat and kill to win, is capable of fist fighting Sly on the wing of a moving plane, etc. Yet afterwards she acts all sweet, helpless and innocent and gets used as a damsel in distress multiple times, despite us seeing her combat capabilities as the Baron? Begrudgingly, I can kind of see how Sanzaru (or anyone else) could get the impression that there's something "off" about her.

I also hated the Carmelita belly dancing bit in Sly 4 and thought it was fucking gross. But to be honest, Sly 3 itself sort of set a precedent for treating Carmelita this way. "Carmelargea" from the Rumble Down Under level was maybe less overtly sexual but no less gross. They literally had us climbing up her pants for that fight. You can't look at that and tell me someone on the Sly 3 dev team didn't have a giantess fetish. So them skimping on giving Rumble Down Under a proper antagonist just so that they could instead have the Mask of Dark Earth as an excuse to enlarge Carmelita is... pretty sleazy, actually.

Then there was the whole Sly faking amnesia thing. During Sly 4 I couldn't help but feel like Carmelita was being a little hypocritical for her anger at being lied to by Sly. She literally lied too. She lied to someone she thought was an amnesiac about his identity. Which just sort of highlights how bad the end of Sly 3 is. They decided to have Sly and Carmelita start off their new relationship based on lies? Ok then.

I'm not sure if I would go so far as to say that Sly 4 changed my opinion of Sly 3, but there are some valid points here.

As far as Penelope's huge personality shift from the Baron to her normal self, I think it was partly to throw people off of the reveal that the Baron IS Penelope. Hell, Penelope even helps the gang in Episode 3 by defending their hangar from goons looking to wreck their plane, whereas the Baron seems to have no issues with foul play and engages in it often. Thinking about it deeper, the Baron might have become a full-fledged alternate personality for Penelope since she was using the ruse so often and got pumped up by people treating him as a celebrity. When she gets some sense slapped into her after fighting Sly, I think it snapped her out of this pattern and she was able to let it go. As far has how strong the Baron is, there's theories that the Baron suit is actually a cybernetic situation that greatly enhances her physical abilities, which I think holds water because her natural abilities are more tailored to her technical know-how and inventions. Once she abandons the Baron suit, she abandons the raw strength and ruthlessness the Baron gave her. I've held the opinion that her turning more villainous in Sly 4 is not necessarily out of nowhere, it was just written horribly and abruptly IMO. There's nothing we see leading up to it that makes it make sense, it just happens. Had it been handled differently, I think it would have been received much better.

As far as giant Carmelita...yeah, I got nothing. Probably a case of the "writer's poorly disguised fetish" meme because I remember being 11 years old thinking "This is...odd." But by then I had also developed an attraction to both Sly and Carmelita, so I rolled with it lol.

What do y'all think?

#Sly Cooper #Thieves in Time #Penelope #Carmelita Fox #Gaming

[skyloftian-nutcase]

The Caregiver (LU Twilight Ficlet)

Dusk usually soured Twilight's mood, but today it was the rain. Or the walking. Or the constant fighting they'd been doing recently. He wasn't sure. Maybe it was none of those things.

Some days just weren't good days.

After the chores were done, Twilight offered to do a perimeter check and disappeared into the forest, shifting into his wolf form. He felt... different when he was like this. He supposed it was a stupid observation to make, saying one felt different when one was a wolf. Of course that would feel different.

But it was more than just the physicality of it. Like this, he was considered a monster. Like this, he was considered a sweet friend. Like this, he wasn't expected any heroic duties. Like this, people were afraid of him. Like this, he could just be with animals and nature. Like this, he could be left alone.

Like this, he couldn't cry.

Today just wasn't a good day. Anxieties and worries filled him, words biting into his mind like beasts tearing his sanity apart. Things that would usually be a quick observation that he would swat away suddenly returned with reinforcements, ready to trample him into the dust.

Four hated shadow magic, and Twilight used it extensively.

Time was happily married, Sky was head over heels in love with someone who probably loved him just as much, and Twilight was alone.

Wild could have breakdowns because everyone understood that he was a mess, and Twilight had to be the strong one for him even if he felt like he was going to fall apart.

Warriors had so many reasons to be a broken mess yet he wasn't, and Twilight had so few reasons yet he was.

Hyrule and Legend had no families, and Twilight had one that adored him yet he treated them poorly, he was never around anymore for them.

Wind had seen too much at his age but still had hope, and Twilight had a peaceful wonderful childhood and was filled with nothing.

Sometimes... sometimes Twilight just wanted it to end. Sometimes he wished he could sleep as well and as long as Sky seemed to, and sometimes he was so insane with energy and had nothing to do with it.

Four would hate him if he knew. Wild would never rely on him if he saw how Twilight hurt too, he wouldn't want to burden the Ordonian with his problems. Sky and Time would offer sympathetic words or touches but that didn't change the hollowness inside him. Warriors would tease and try to perk him up, and it would only emphasize how much better the captain was. Hyrule, Legend, and Wind would offer their support in their own ways, and it would highlight Twilight's pathetic state of mind even more.

Who else would hate him, he wondered. Would it just be Four? Hyrule might hate him, with as much magical energy as he has about him, shadow magic probably felt like a disease to him. If he showed his true nature, revealed all his secrets, his thoughts, his desires, his beliefs, his feelings... who else would hate him?

Who would be disappointed in him?

A choking sound emitted form his throat, making his chest burn. He couldn't cry as a wolf, but it would still try to escape.

Just let it out. No one's here.

Twilight shifted back into Hylian form and collapsed into a pile of leaves. The tears came in waves, racking his body with violent tremors and muffled sobs before leaving him drained and exhausted, and then it would start anew. He felt like his heart and mind were screaming at each other, his heart taking him and shaking him to his core until he was depleted while his mind told him to get over it.

Others have it worse. I need to take care of them. I have no excuse to feel like this. So what if they hate me for who I am, for what I think and believe, I can help them and support them until we get to that point. They don't have to know who I really am. And if they find out, then...

Then what? What would he do when he was an outcast to some of his brothers? If he couldn't support the others because they were afraid to bother him? He wasn't foolish with his emotionalism, he knew he wasn't going to be thrown out or anything, but... but he imagined he would be shunned. The bitter cold stabbed him from the inside out, making the tears spring fresh as if he hadn't cried four times already.

This was so stupid. He knew better than to let this upset him.

But today just wasn't a good day.

So much time passed the sun had completely faded behind the horizon. Twilight shivered as the damp cool air of night settled into his skin. It chilled the hot tears that stained his cheeks and slammed reality into his soul like a slap to the face.

Twilight took a deep breath, wiped his face clean, and rose.

Perhaps I will be an outcast if they find out. Perhaps some of them will hate me, and some will pity me to the point of exclusion. So they don't have to find out. I can support them as I am, with everything as it is. I can help them and be there for them, offer what little assistance I can provide.

They don't have to know who I am.

Twilight took another breath, steadying himself. He just wanted to help. The camaraderie meant the world to him, but he could live without it if need be. He just wanted to help. He could help - he knew Time's fate and could maybe alter it. He saw Wild's pain and had his trust, so he could help him through his trauma. Wolfie saw more than anyone, and Twilight could soothe the hurts the others held close to their hearts.

Twilight took a third breath, and felt whole again. Because this wasn't about him. It was about his family.

He went back to camp, and smiled when everyone greeted him.

Time watched him a little too long, eye discerning. "Everything all right?"

Twilight waved a dismissive hand as he walked to Wild, settling beside his little brother. "Of course."

#writing #linkeduniverse #linked universe #lu twilight #hm I should probably put this on ao3 too but can't be bothered to make a summary and do all the tagging crap #maybe later #I love how I say I don't do hurt/no comfort and then I write stuff like this lol #there's like... some comfort in here #Twi comforts himself #woot woot #obviously this takes place before wolfie reveal and all that jazz #To all the Twilights out there: I love you dearly and pls talk to me (or whoever is your support person) if you need to ❤️

[bonefall]

you talk about clear sky likes he’s this huge tyrant or something. now i haven’t read dawn of the clans in a long time but was he really that bad? i don’t remember a lot of things that happen in that arc btw. or did you make him even worse with the bonefall rewrite??

i should reread dawn of the clans

Things Canon Clear Sky does;

Throw his disabled brother into the wilderness to die

Reject his only surviving son because its mother died in a building collapse after leaving in protest of all his violence

Come back only once that son is grown and useful

Refuse to care for a clanmate with an infected wound, kicking him out

Tells his son to lick the pus off his friend's wound if he cares about him so much, publicly

A lot of public humiliation in general

Is 1 of 2 suspects in the mauling of a battered housewife who dies of her injuries

General warmongering

Responds to the idea of peace talks by taking a prisoner of war

Starves that prisoner of war to the point of emaciation after promising to care for him while he's detained

Starts the bloody First Battle when the starving prisoner of war catches a bat because he hasn't eaten in days

Dozens of people die in this completely pointless and avoidable fight. They cannot dig the mass grave in one day.

Murders Rainswept Flower during this, saying he "got so mad he didn't know what he was doing". This is accepted as a reasonable excuse lmao something is deeply wrong with these writers.

And that's all BEFORE the "Redemption Arc." He continues to act like this but now the narrative decides he's good now and everyone's mean to him for holding him accountable for his actions, he's so sorry guys :(((

After his redemption arc;

Loudly whines and complains that StarClan is forcing him to take an outsider, Micah, as a doctor

Treats him poorly while he's in SkyClan, shown to be verbally abusive every time it comes up (Micah insists he's not so bad if you give it back to him, though this is shown to not be true)

Foists a Clanborn apprentice onto him immediately, Acorn Fur, with the implication that she will replace him as soon as possible.

Refuses to allow Moth Flight and Micah to gather sap for another Clan, knowing denying medicine will kill someone

Orders Red Claw to fight Micah, getting Micah killed

Refuses to allow Moth Flight to finish Acorn Fur's training

When his baby son gets mauled by a fox, he refuses to allow Acorn Fur to go get help until infection sets in

He blames Wind Runner for this because she held Moth Flight back for like 5 minutes.

Holds Moth Flight as a prisoner of war when she needs that sap again until Wind Runner apologizes for killing his baby

So in short; he is canonically an awful tyrant and I'm barely making him any worse in my rewrite. I'm just making it so he doesn't have a failed 'redemption arc' because he didn't even actually change in-canon.

I don't care how "scared and sad" he was when he was doing war crimes. His motivations are piss poor excuses for justifications and his botched redemption arc is one of the worst plots the writers ever hatched.

#This is a Clear Sky hate blog #All my homies hate Clear Sky #Re: is is a GOOD villain! He should stay that way #It just so happens that like 75% of the Clear Sky asks are inquiring about his redemption arc #I'm guessing it's because it's fun to see me rip into him lmaooo #You are like curious onlookers dipping various meat bones into a pool with 1 very ravenous piranha #Seeing how quickly I strip the skeleton #Warrior cats analysis #Also this post is going around again so I did an edit #I read DOTC again and it's worse than I remembered

[ilikekidsshows]

Why do you think abuse apologia is so rampant in the ML fandom? I’m asking because kind of in awe at this anon I just got who all but told me to kms because I said that Maribug gaslighting Adricat about his father is messed up

It's a combination of a couple of things. The Marinette Stans here on tumblr are enthusiastic to say the least. At its most harmless, they'll go on tangents about how Marinette is secretly jacked and musclar and strong enough to beat Miraculous users without Miraculous powers. At its most toxic, they harrass people for saying anything that could be construed as negative about Marinette, including "Man, this fictional character sure is in need of character development!"

After the retooling for seasons 4 and 5, this kind of thing got worse, because now the show is actually agreeing with the more toxic Marinette Stans. Characters are taking back things they said a season and a half ago to make Marinette seem retroactively in the right for bullying the new girl in school and creating her own villain. Marinette is no longer seen as being capable of being morally wrong by the narrative; she's no longer presented as being overly controlling, judgemental and self-righteous. Instead, the narrative insists she's in the right about everything. The only times she's "wrong" it's because she's factually wrong: she lacks important information, meaning the mistakes the story admits to her making aren't actually her fault, but the fault of faulty information. The show has protagonist centered morality, because the show's protagonist is never presented as being in the wrong anymore. Everything Marinette does is morally justified because she's the protagonist.

The problem with this comes from the fact that Marinette still acts the same way she used to. She still acts overly controlling, judgemental and self-righteous. She grants a Miraculous permanently to another holder without letting Cat Noir know. She tricks Cat Noir into revealing his secret identity. She complains about how hard she has it while not taking advantage of the help Cat Noir is constantly offering to her because she thinks she knows better than anyone else so he could possibly not be able to help her. She doesn't tell her boyfriend he's under the very real risk of getting his free will hijacked if anyone palmed these two specific rings. She doesn't tell her boyfriend anyone could kill him with a snap of their fingers with the Peacock Miraculous and that she's letting his awful cousin hang onto this power because he knows her secret identity but she's still not telling him or her oldest superhero partner. And, yes, she's gaslighting Adrien into thinking his dad was a good person through and through.

And yet, despite all this stuff the writers have Marinette do that make it sound like she's on her freaking villain arc, the writers insist Marinette is morally right about all of this. She only makes surface level apologies for her lying and secret-keeping, only to keep doing it. Her apologies mean as little as Félix: they mean nothing. She never even considers whether or not what she's been doing is a good idea, because, as far as the writers are concerned, it's a great idea.

This fandom is full of abuse apologia because the fandom is used to making excuses for characters who treat Adrien poorly, but also because the show's writing requires you to either accept and excuse abuse, or disagree with the fundamental core of the show: that Marinette is always right.

#ml salt #ml writers salt #ml critical #ml writers critical

[goldsrc-hl1]

And I think the fact that sienna, the white fang civil rights leader who actually cared about the cause but was willing to use violence to achieve it gets killed off and her worldview barely gets acknowledge

Also I think crwby straight up compared the white fang to the black panther movement/organization?

Wether we want it to or not the show did initially frame the white fang subplot as violence vs non-violence

Plus ghira getting mad tgat adam killed a member of a lynch mob because “this is why they think they can” tells me ghira is on sone level focused in what humans think of Faunus,

Not helping that ghira gets put in charge again without having changed whatsoever

I hate to say it but intentionally or not, the idea that an oppressed minority need to “prove themselves” in any way to their oppressors is kinda racist, it’s at least problematic

Heck it’s a double standard “that we see in the real world as well” that Faunus can be branded like Adam or killed in mines like ilia’s parents to by humans like Jacques, yet humans as a whole don’t need to “prove” they aren’t him,

Because, quite frankly, most humans are entirely permissive of what Jacques and the SDC do

Yeah, Sienna's worldview is barely acknowledged. That's part of the failure to discuss racism and if responding to it with violence is justified or not.

Barbara Dunkleman, who is not a writer, said this

Barbara Dunkelman: So if anybody needs, like, a comparison for what the Faunus are in this world, it’s kind of like if you’re in the 1930s, or 1940s, whatever, and it’s like, the way African-American people were viewed.

Someone else (I can’t identify the voice): You mean like 50s and 60s, like Civil Rights Movement and stuff?

Barbara Dunkelman: Yeah.

Faunus are related to the American civil rights movement. They're certainly not viewed as poorly as African American people were viewed in the 50s and 60s, but they are still viewed and treated poorly and it is still based off of the American Civil Rights movement.

It's not 1:1 Black Panthers though. Sienna KINDA reminds me of them but not too much, Adam definitely doesn't.

The only time it was framed as violence vs nonviolence was in Blake's talk with Sun about why she left. As mentioned, that talk is about why she left, not what the White Fang is doing now. Even as early as Volume 1 and 2 it was clear that the White Fang wasn't fighting for equality.

Blake: The White Fang is hardly a bunch of psychopaths. They're a collection of misguided Faunus.

Weiss: Misguided? They want to wipe Humanity off the face of the planet!

Blake: So then they're very misguided. Either way, it doesn't explain why they would rob a Dust shop in the middle of downtown Vale!

Roman: I'm glad you asked, "Deery"! Now, I'll be the first to admit, humans... are the worst. Case in point. So, I understand why you would like to see us all locked away, or, better yet, killed!

So yeah, the White Fang was always an organization dedicated to just killing and hurting humans. In the past, it fought for equality, which is shown in Volume 1 through Blake's backstory, but it's never states that the White Fang currently fights for equality. The reason Blake left is that she didn't want to take part in the violence anymore (she never says they were wrong to resort to violence though, she just personally didn't want to be the one pulling the trigger), but the goal of the White Fang is no longer equality, as evidenced by Weiss and Roman.

You may say Weiss isn't well informed, which is true, but if she was wrong, why didn't Blake correct her? Roman is literally speaking at a White Fang rally when he says the line cited above, so he clearly knows what he's talking about.

Onto the next point...

Ghira wasn't upset that Adam fought back, he was upset when it got lethal. Ghira has a point, by killing humans, you're giving the humans an excuse to hate you more, regardless of how justified it was. It's something you wanna avoid at all costs. It's unfortunate, but it's the truth.

Ghira is put in charge of the White Fang again, only after he assembles an entire army to stop a terrorist attack in the making. I think it's pretty clear that he's past all the solely peaceful stuff.

The message is that the Faunus need to dispel racist ideas by proving them incorrect. I don't see how that's racist or problematic. Minorities should play a part in proving racist ideologies wrong.

Bear in mind that the Faunus aren't "proving themselves" as in repenting for past mistakes and whatnot, they're "proving themselves" as in "your racist idea that the Faunus are all murderers and terrorists is wrong." No Faunus apologizes for how the White Fang treats humanity. The whole thing is basically a big "you're blatantly wrong" to racist generalization that is extremely hard to ignore.

I don't see how it's racist to promote minorities proving racist ideologies wrong.

Humans in the show already prove that they aren't like Jacques by literally arresting him. They don't condone his exploitation. Hell, his own daughter doesn't condone it.

Most humans are, but by proving racist ideas wrong, the hope is that they will become less racist and ultimately oppose Jacques.

#rwby #anti rwde #rwde #rwby analysis #white fang #sienna khan

[rockanroller]

i think one of my biggest concerns about viv's content (which has become heavier since seeing how she and raph have reacted to push-back against viv's mis-matched portrayals of SA overall but particularly both viv & raph's portrayals of SA in episode 4) was that she never actually had "good intentions" for what she's trying to say. or maybe she did at a point, but it got lost/blurred over time.

yes, it *is* a good message to attempt to give support to the "imperfect victim," the assholes who need a little empathy despite their bark and bite, bc they all still suffered horrible things that are unimaginable to some of us, and they deserve the love and healing they were denied just as much as the "perfect victim" does, but...

the risk that message can come with is emboldening assholes and "imperfect victims" who have no intentions of changing, who want to be and act horribly to others and/or themselves without consequence, who continue the cycles of abuse put upon them. tbf, this is generally unavoidable, but handling it poorly can amplify the numbers or confidence of said emboldened assholes.

the impression i always got from her work was "oh so i'm a monster? fine, then i'll act like one, deal with it" while ironically simultaneously being unable to handle being perceived as "a monster."

my concern from the start was that viv may not *be* someone who has genuinely been treated/hated unfairly (for her *entire* existence, she was def treated/hated unfairly for some of it) despite many attempts to change and "be better"--and she instead is someone who refuses to self-reflect outside of "people hate me" and wants to be allowed to be and act shitty w/o consequences "because trauma" w/o having to consider others and in an apparent effort to act fully self-interested. (which yes, all that can be a trauma response but it doesn't excuse you for how you behave/act towards others.)

it's not illegal to be selfish, but to live the kind of life where you continually act only in your own self-interest creates a very isolated and unstable foundation where you're continually burning bridges and generating misery for not only others but also yourself. we've seen this pattern continually with viv.

how i've seen viv act over time, and how she and raph have acted recently throughout the drama with episode 4, with viv seeming to continually adjust her defenses/like tweets to fit whatever argument she's trying to one-up... i'm not confident w/her intentions... and i've given her a *lot* of chances and empathy to attempt to understand where she's coming from, but i find my understandings for her becoming more and more contradicted by her own words & actions.

#concerns #thoughts #vivziepop critical #raph critical #hazbin hotel critical