#before people start coming at me

[cult-of-the-eye]

Flesh avatar!Martin fic

TW: severe body image issues, self hatred, negative self talk, body dysmorphia, body horror (ish), unhealthy one sided relationships

Jon wasn’t eating.

The level of Martin’s romantic obsession had never crossed the line of tracking someone’s eating habits, but it didn’t take a genius to see that whatever he was eating, it wasn’t enough. His own apple and snack bar combination had lasted him throughout secondary school, a certainty that he sincerely hoped wouldn’t change any time soon. But Jon needed it more than him.

Behind his desk, he felt small. He didn’t have to be aware of the flesh that hung off his limbs in jiggling masses, so he opted for something better. Something smaller. Jon was substantially smaller than him - a fact that he found overwhelming at first. He switched between the constant burning of awe of a lithe and sharp frame and the need to put his excess to use.

The line of sight from his desk to Jon’s office was cruelly clear. A hulking great wooden door between them, one that was the stumbling subject of many of his own poems. A foggy allegory of distance. It was a momentous occasion of sunshine when that door peeled open. Each time, Martin drank his fill of Jonathan Sims, but recently, it had left his mouth uncomfortably dry.

Today was one of those occasions. A forest green sweater vest hung off what only just passed off as a body. Lines cut beneath his deep brown eyes, distracting rather than highlighting. Cheekbones that once lifted a haughty expression only shadowed a much heavier one. Maybe this was just the rose tint that surrounded Jon, romanticising a time of crisis where Martin could justify stepping in. Or maybe Jon was actually not doing well. His body followed this line of thinking, footsteps treading heavily after Jon’s rabbit-footed paces, into the kitchen.

“Hi, Jon.”

Fat kids could only ever want to be one of three things when they grew up. Either utilise their size as a sign of comedy, strength or as softness. Anything else was unforgivable. Martin chose softness. He let that seep into his words, melting his body into the patches in the floor, so he would not trip.

“Martin.”

He lapped up the slight incline of his neck, a nod that contained a dizzying array of possibilities. Jon was clutching at a chipped mug as if it were his only anchor to the mortal world. Martin was inclined to believe that.

“I was wondering…”

The cupboard doors bristled against the hinges in the silence that followed. Jon did not expect further conversation. Neither did Martin.

“Yes?”

“I brought too much food.”

“Right.”

Now, Martin. Prove your value as a pile of meat.

“Would you like some?”

An apple. A peace offering. An organic bridge of sorts, nutrients shared from a body that doesn’t need it to a body that does. Almost parasitic. And Jon looked at it as such. With the disgust of someone offering to attach to him, to leach off of his energy and time.

“It’s just a fruit. It won’t kill you.”

Jon’s eyes sunk further into the past. Into whatever warren he had been dragged into, taking from him his edges and sanding down into the bare necessities. Martin only had one card left to play.

“I…please just take it, Jon?”

Sincerity.

Emotions are rarely seen in the fat kid. Emotions are frowned upon. They increase your size, your ability to be noticed, so reassuring or stoic or half-laughing are your only choices. This is a wildcard. Not even Jonathan Sims could predict his response. Unpredictable was something Martin could get used to being.

“...Sure, Martin.”

Jon gave Martin a wide berth while crossing the kitchen. As if he had grown suddenly and was unsure of his new dimensions. Martin felt no contortion of his size, standing, watching Jon walk away, biting the apple in his hand. There was no door to the kitchen, of any material, let alone wood. Nothing especially poetic about eating an apple in an office. Just a faint sense of hunger and a new willingness to do something about it.

#tma #the magnus archives #jonathan sims #martin k blackwood #jmart #tma fic #tw body dysmorphia #tw body image issues #tw self hatred #jmart angst #angst #I WARNED YOU #i was in a...headspace...when i wrote this #im not trying to glorify obesity or self hatred or anything #before people start coming at me #im just trying to portray what flesh avatar martin would be like #in like s1/2 jmart #anyway #hope you enjoy!!

[ganondoodle]

so guess what they released more interviews and i think given what a writing shitshow totk was and what they have been saying in all these interviews is actually painting a really bad picture; i dont have the time, nor the energy to go over every detail

but they were commenting on people wanting the more linear format back and aonuma himself basically said that he thinks people who feel like that do so only bc of nostalgia and "Why do you want to go back to a type of game where you're more limited or more restricted in the types of things or ways you can play?"

what .. the fuck, more freedom DOESNT automatically mean better??? like ... restriction can be a GOOD thing just as tooo much freedom can be BAD?? like in totk??? are you fukcing shitting me- what the hell are games even for then, has he had an awakening to the fact that he actually just loves sandbox games without realizing it???? im not playing fucking zelda for a sandbox, especially not when its advertised as a somethign else

its pretty clear that they want to keep this format going with everything they say there, ... maybe it really is over huh

also i hate how they kept talking around answering anything about story/lore; they go asked how ganondorf even connects to ganon since theres nothign about it in game, and all they got out was welllll we dont wanna say anything bc its up to the player; about every question you got the answer of "make somethign up yourself" which is just ... its really clear they dont actually care but dont want to say everything is meaningless actually, so they try to be vague about it and with doing that really just confirm they didnt think about it and they dont care- so no lore actually matters, nothing thats been said or established has any meaning bc they will get rid of it the second it crosses paths with their new -more freedom equals better- philosophy, they say its bc they want you to be "free" to think up anything but apparently dont realize that when there are no rules, no consistent lore or anything that it ROBS it, it stops having meaning, its fun to connect dots only when there are rules you need to work with and dots to connect in the first place, when you have an established world with its restrictions it drives you to think more creatively about things- but when there are no rules?? its fucking boring!! thats what it is!!

when you discard all rules i wont care to get invested into anything bc i know it will not be considered again, be done away with without any reason and wont have influence on coming or previous games ... bc there are no rules, anything is possible and everything can be changed any second, so nothing matters

(they also talked about the many viral videos of those very few dedicated people that make godzilla mechs in totk and how happy they are about that- i get that to some extent, but the way they kept talkign about it really just felt like it confirmed my suspicion that that whole mechanic was mainly implemented to let people do that since that gets shared around en masse making it seem like that is why people enjoy it while neither the game nor the narrative are build around it in any way ..)

it just makes all the time i spend thinking, feeling and theorizing about zelda like a true waste of time, bc nothing matters and there are no rules-

i am someone who greatly enjoys working with and around established lore/rules, its fun to me to recontextulize things by being smart or creative with it all without breaking anything or as little as possible of the established things!

if i wanted to do just do anything i want I COULD HAVE ALREADY DONE THAT bc theres nothing actually stopping anyone to just make up what they want! i DONT need canon to lose all rules for that??!!

maybe ill have to make myself believe the franchise ended with botw on a good note ... ono

#ganondoodles talks #zelda #totk #ganondoodles rants #sorry for sounding so agressive about this #but its making me so mad #also someone said to me that they literally admitted to not have an actual writer for totk??? #(or someone that has no connection to anything zelda before this??) #which i couldnt find myself but #it would make so much sense if true #like ... yeah if there werent any people dedicated for the narrative and it was jsut cool looking moment tacked on cool looking moment #or someone that has no idea of anything of the past ... including botw ... yeah .. yeah it does feel like that #it makes me so sad #and also like i have to come to terms with this franchise being practically dead to me now #just when i was about to start working on chapter 2 #can they please stop doing interviews when all they do is fuck it up more #(* ￣︿￣)

[hamofjustice]

nemona feels like an obscure blorbo instead of the main rival character from the latest pokemon game because to get to her really good content from people who really get it, you first have to wade through the ocean of yandere pervert obsessive stalker annoying punchable bimbo amazon goddess interpretations of...

... a neurodivergent and possibly disabled high schooler who's desperately trying to make any friends or get any support from her rich neglectful family - while everyone in her school is jealous of their own imagined version of a privileged asshole version of her they made up - who deeply and platonically loves and supports the one new kid who agreed to take the time to get to know and respect her and her special interest without having to hold back her true self

unlike her, it's not great!

kinda feels like she has the same problem in our world that she does in hers.

#(except much hornier) #i hate to say it but i think her skin color has something to do with it #nemona pokemon #nemona #pokemon sv #pokemon scarvio #pokemon scarlet and violet #pokemon #nemonaposting #dog girl and goku memes are fine i guess #i legitimately cannot google her without a video of someone being cruel to her on purpose and making her visibly sad coming up #i don't think people like that really browse these tags but i hope they're not the reason she was not in the dlc footage at all #and thus may never get more screen time to actually be her best friend's 'rival for life' as promised before the 3 year cycle marches on #you know the dlc about nemona's best friend and 'greatest treasure' transferring to a school about the hardcore battles she's dying without #potentially abandoning her and sending her back to almost square one on having a reason to enjoy life #don't get me started yelling about that again #also i didn't mean platonically in a don't ship them kind of way you should absolutely do that if it lines up with your interpretations #i usually do in fact #just trying to emphasize the contrast between canon and fanart here #opinions of her already start off so low faith just because she's from the 10 fps pokemon game and i'll be real i wish she wasn't #i wish she and her friends were somewhere i could trust that they would be treated respectfully by their copyright holders

[h00d13d09]

Now I understand why a lot of people (casual viewers and stuff) saw b*ddie shippers as obnoxious cuz since I stopped caring about the ship I am experiencing it firsthand 💀💀

My only question is...are they not embarrassed of themselves???

#imagine having you brain so rotted to the core about a fictional ship you start attacking ppl #so glad I don't associate myself with them anymore #how can you even enjoy the ship when these people are on tour side??? #before you come for me I didn't stop shipping b*ddie after bucktommy became a thing #i stopped watching 911 yrs ago and the hyperfixation wore off #bucktommy #tommy kinard #buck x tommy #tommy x buck #evan buckley #911 abc #911 discourse

[uncanny-tranny]

Realizing you can never please anybody can be a devastating loss... until you internalize exactly what that means.

When you sacrifice so much of yourself for others, you forget that you leave yourself behind. Not being able to please everybody means you can start learning how to fully embody who you are instead of juggling everybody else's baggage, trying to make something work out.

You might feel devastated about this, thinking you're terrible for not pleasing everybody. The truth is, it was impossible from the start, and learning who you are is infinitely rewarding

#mental health #encouragement #encouraging words #people-pleasing is honestly (in my experience) the most soul-crushing things out there #and i wish more and more people could learn how to let go of the impulse to self-persecute... #...and to let go of the idea that literally the *entire world* comes before them #i think the thing that really set me on this path was realizing that few people would do what i did... #...that they would see that nobody is fighting their corning *including them*... #...and that few people will actually fight your corner *for* you... #...and part of that realization enraged me because it's like... everybody abandons you INCLUDING yourself... #...so you think 'how the fuck didn't i realize that?' and you start to question more and more the reasons you internalized the message... #...that literally everybody matters more than you ever will... #...part of that for me stems from deep systematic abuse and part of it is cultural... #...so you'll find that your drives to do certain things have differwnt influences and some are perfectly fine... #...while others are destroying and depressing and horrific

[keirientez]

band au rahhhhhhhhhhh

#i wanted to draw the other guardians too but this would be a good start #ok so #tsuna starts his band. yamamoto bass and gokudera keys and tsuna suprisingly drummer and also lead vocal. reborn appears out of nowhere- #being “youre not your full potential so i will drain you till youre like a fish in a dehydrator until you become the best out there.” #thats about it #but i just like how drumming singers are like extremely good music people because drumming is already hard. and singing too??? #absolutely insane i might say. tsuna would do this (bc reborn told him so) #he does not want to be the best but reborn exists in the paro for a reason #reborn is like maybe a famous musician who faked his death then did whatever he wanted to do while he was “alive”. then he got tsuna as his #apprentice and so so. oh yeah also whiplash (the movie) reference bc holy shit its so good. for me at least. and reborn would make tsuna go #that kind of crazy. like training until drenched in sweat from morning to night or whenever hes available. bc he knows he has potential #he just need someone to push him beyond his expected limit #btw 8059 implied #gokudera joined the band first bc yeah then comes yamamoto for fun as he had to rest from playing baseball a bit too enthusiastic #gokudera hated him so much for like being dumb??? (the goofy ah laugh) but then the two dated even before reborn made a move on tsuna #its very funny but they work it out #i was also thinking if the band ever do solos or do something not as the whole band 8059 will have their own album. itll be great #for genre im not sure?? lets just say alt rock electrojazz???? #no idea but maybe ill make a playlist. maybe #sawada tsunayoshi #reborn #yamamoto takeshi #gokudera hayato #8059 #r27

[fae-morrigan]

Okay, I wasn't going to say anything about it, but y'all are just being ridiculous now, so I have to say it.

A common criticism of Jay Nakamura is the idea that he only got romantically involved with Jon to get Jon to help him with what he was doing. And this is meant to be like, an indictment of Jay, that he somehow manipulated Jon into helping him out and that's bad, but like... lets pretend that's true for a second, okay?

The explicit text of Son of Kal El is that Jay is a displaced indigenous refugee who is trying to liberate his country and his people from a western-sponsored dictator (and the literal slavery he has imposed upon them).

So according to this take, Jay had to romantically manipulate Jon into... helping him take a stand against colonialism. He had to trick Superman into helping him do something i hope we all agree is objectively correct. Specifically by bribing him with romantic affection.

I just wanna know: In what universe is that an indictment of Jay and not Jon?

Like, that's a world where Jon had to get something out of the arrangement to consider doing the objectively right thing. That's fucked up! Extremely fucked up! And I would never villify Jay, who again I remind you escaped actual enslavement, for needing to do that to get help for himself and his people! Why would you?

#meta #dc meta #jon kent #jay nakamura #Me personally I think if a man of color has to 'manipulate' a white man into standing against racism & colonialism #by pretending to like him and kiss his ass and take care of him #that could never be anything but a scathing indictment of the white man whos inaction without personal benefit is the real problem #When you try and cast Jay as the villain in the context of SOKE you tell me you think his goals are unreasonable #WHICH IS A FUCKING TAKE FOR SURE. #and I am very glad it is Objectively not what the text says #The text tells us Jon was totally willing to help Jay before their relationship began #and that the romance comes as a result of them getting to know each other as people #hence why we see Jon looking at Jay differently starting in issue 3 after Jay embarasses himself in front of Lois

[hajihiko]

I interpret Kaz's relationship with his dad a little differently from that one convo. He says something like 'he knew better than anyone that we didn't have the money' and I took that as his dad wanted him to go and have fun like a normal kid and not worry about the money. Of course, I don't justify physical discipline and it is abuse, even if the parent is well intentioned. I think that Kaz does love his dad and they're relationship might be more complicated. But you know that's just one of the many things he needs to work out in therapy.

(Again this is just my interpretation and I'm not saying yours is wrong. I do love the art.)

Just gonna use this as a little jumping point to talk about this bc why not, warnings for obviously sensitive topics

I dont think you're wrong, I actually probably agree, but one thing;

It's not uncommon for public perception to weigh more than actual actions or intent. In the example given, I see it like so; yeah, Souda sr. wanted his son to go on a field trip that they couldn't really afford. Yeah, Kaz wanted to help the household by not going on the trip and saving the money. Both have good intent here. It's not about that, though, because in Souda sr.'s eyes, refusing to go on the trip is like admitting that they're poor, which is like saying the father can't provide for his family, which is like public humiliation- in his eyes. In a fit of rage (and insecurity, if it's something that's already weighing on his mind, as these things often go) the assumption isnt that his son was trying to help, just that he did something that makes the father look bad. Which is a bigger trigger than most things, often, for patriarchal authority figures.

And it not an excuse for physical harm, no, nothing is. Probably, Souda sr. knows that, and didn't mean to snap- doesnt think he committed an act of child abuse- but he's been under a lot of stress, and his son was talking back, and, well.

I think they do usually get along alright, and Souda sr. does his best to provide for himself and his son and keep their relationship good, and Kazuichi is genuinely grateful for everything his dad's done for him? But in the end, it's another person Kazuichi trusted teaching him the lesson that people will let him down and hurt him, in some way at some point. If your parent whom you trust has made you genuinely afraid of them, it's hard to come back from it, and someone as anxious and emotionally sensitive as Kazuichi will hold onto that forever, probably, even as he might internalized some of it as his own fault.

It's a lot more complicated than just "bad father, sad son" (but again, not excusable, you don't hit your kids period). It's father and son who love each other and might be the only family they both have, but they clash horribly on occasion, make up (or don't talk about it at all), things die down, stay good for a while, then there's another clash- so it goes, even if the bad times are only occasional. The biggest Thing about these kind of relationships, to me, is that it's so easy to fall into a routine and let things stagnate, and before you know it, it's just How Things Are and it's easier to just deal than start rocking the boat.

#Not an art #Talky talky #Dysfunctional relationships and toxic family is always something I have Thoughts on #cw child abuse #This is also just me blabbing with little evidence so dont come for my throat ok I'm just pondering #I could talk about the kuzuryu family too I think there's a lot more context stuff there #But that's a diff post #I also hc that Kaz started thinking about the death machines before Junko #Not in a serious manner but as a malcontent kid who felt bitter and insecure and wanted to let it out somehow #Who hasnt fantasised about pushing someone down the stairs or sth right? That's where it started for him #Blah blah the 'anyone is capable of evil' theme #But also the 'that entire class was full of kids at risk and no one noticed or helped them and that sure didnt stop them from seeking- #-release and control and company from bad people who in turn affected them'

[sluttylittlewaste]

One super fascinating thing about Kristen's current arc in JY is how much it reflects real-world conversations I've been following about effort and consistency and reliability in relationships. Specifically, I've been reading about the resentment in (primarily het) relationships caused by uneven distribution of mental load and repetivite, constant labor between partners.

Follow me now-

I've seen a few posts on here from people who have ADHD highlighting how realistic it is to their experience that Kristen is SO GOOD for doing grand acts and big miracles, but struggles so deeply with "the boring stuff". Upkeeping social media for Cassandra/YES!, consistently holding meetings to maintain whatever following she does develop for her gods, even just bi-weekly essays. I can't speak to the ADHD experience myself. However, from my relationships with people who have it and a decent amount of the posts I see on this website, that is a consistent manifestation of the disorder.

Dovetailing from that is the very real conversation I've heard time and time again about people whose family/friends/partners refuse to help with the little tasks of keeping a home in order or a project on track, but will pull through for big events under the assumption that it balances things out. It's a conversation that occurs a lot in spaces of studying gender dynamics in relationships - i.e. In a dynamic where the wife is responsible for doing all of the cooking/cleaning/grocery shopping/organizing, the husband will do a singular, high-effort task or grand gesture, "I built you an armoire!", "I took the kids out for a full day so you could relax!" and reference that singular event or task as a counterbalance for smaller tasks they do not aid in (daily dishes, laundry, running errands). This can also take the form of one partner doing grand gestures on occasion, but not showing up in smaller ways throughout the relationship on a day-to-day level.

-Ex. Partner A indicates that would appreciate more frequent affection in the relationship, such as date nights, flowers, non-sexual physical contact, etc. Partner B responds by planning a fancy dinner, gratuitous non-sexual contact/complements, and buying a lavish gift - but they do not increase displays of affection in their daily lives. Partner A mentions that though they appreciate the gesture, it didn't solve the initial problem, and Partner B doesn't understand why all of the obvious effort they put in isn't enough. The cycle continues and resentment grows as both people feel like their needs aren't being met/their efforts aren't being appreciated.

(Sorry if that's an over-explanation, I'm trying to be clear lol)

I think a lot about two things Cassandra said to Kristen:

"You're unreliable." and "It's not fair." in the context of these dynamics.

I've seen a decent number of people talk about how mutually unfair bringing Cassandra back was for both her and Kristen. I have also seen a lot of very valid arguments about Kristen being a LITERAL CHILD who makes a lot of impulsive (re: bad) decisions because she cares so deeply about specific things. We've also seen that Kristen CAN be so good in the little ways (Giving Lydia Barkrock the Help action, supporting Tracker through her bullshit, trying to do okay in school to help Riz). For all intents and purposes, there is no actual lack of effort on Kristen's part - she very obviously cares deeply. However, those efforts are more occasional and case-by-case than something constant, like going out every day to spread the word of Cassandra or doing something boring like homework.

Cassandra, whose entire thing is that she's always there to offer support -"I'm there holding your hand in the dark"- knows these things as well. She knows what Kristen is capable of. The hurt, then, doesn't come from the fact that Kristen can't but because, for some reason, she won't.

In conversations about how certain partners... underperform in relationships, one theme that often arises is that of, "I know he can do it, he simply doesn't." Whether that be daily chores or consistent acts of affection, Partner A has seen Partner B be helpful or put effort into things that they find interesting. There is no question of capability - Partner B can do whatever it is Partner A requests. Partner A thus concludes that Partner B doesn't because they don't want to. -Ex. "He refuses to help me because he doesn't care about me/He doesn't think I'm worth the effort."

While I obviously cannot make a true 1-to-1 comparison between this particular manifestation of Executive Dysfunction in people with ADHD and lackluster partners in relationships (I am aware that it is deeply harmful to imply that being a "bad" partner is in any way correlated to any singular disability), this is a degree of parallelism to be found in the Kristen/Cassandra dynamic and the type of dysfunction I reference in above examples. There is the caveat that if you have ADHD and know you struggle with doing things that are smaller or more tedious/repetitive, you can work with the people in your life to accommodate that. Additionally, men (at least in the US) are traditionally socialized to undervalue the traditional female labor that is caretaking.

That said, in universe, Kristen doesn't seem to know she has ADHD and thus could not articulate her limitations to Cassandra - and even if she could, it might not have solved the problem ( though it could have kept Cassandra from getting so upset).

The entire reason I wrote all of this is that I've seen several responses to the most recent preview for FHJY wherein Kipperlily Copperkettle accuses Kristen of not caring (and, to be clear, Kristen fully does not care about the Presidency. That is very likely what KLCK was referring to, and she is not wrong in being upset if Kristen wins this thing she hasn't even bothered to campaign AT THE SCHOOL for). The trend in the responses has been people listing Kristen's miracles more than anything, and while those do prove that she does CARE about SOME THINGS, it doesn't address the fact that for most people care is displayed through active, consistent, reliable effort rather than big dramatic displays: While the shrimp jump was cool, it does nothing to prove that Kristen gives a shit about student government.

#this is barely coherent #there's just this wild juxtaposition that I feel like comes up a lot on Tumblr #it seems to happen specifically with ND characters that people see a lot of themselves in #where even if the flaws and complications of that Neurodivergence are being assessed and deconstructed #people will plant their feet on “she can do no wrong!” #and sometimes it's whatever because it's just a fictional character #but other times #like with Kristen Applebees #where the defensiveness has the flavor or being deeply honest #which concerns me #like I truly hope y'all are putting more effort into handling real world criticism than you do with fictional shit #the instantaneous demonization of anyone who isn't tooth grindingly supportive of the Bad Kids (namely Kristen) is worrying #kipperlily is allowed to be mad at Kristen for winning! She may have done some shifty shit #but you can't say she didn't try really hard to win #and Kristen didn't even do her own shrimp jump. she only ran because she immediately disliked kipperlily #and ever Kristen's reason for disliking Kipperlily isn't fair??? #Like it started before they realized the whole rat grinder conspiracy #she just didn't like that Kipperlily was a Type A overachiever #which has nothing to do with Copperkettle #and everything to do with Kristen's own insecurities #as for the relationship aspect #i have a lot of concerns about how people on Tumblr talk about relationships #let me die #if i die #d20 fhjy #fhjy #dimension 20 #rant #kristen applebees #i guess

[definitelynotshouting]

Can i just say guys, holy fucking macaroni, like. I know i say this a lot, but the reception for hunger au has been like NOTHING ive ever experienced before, and im so incredibly grateful for it. Genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much-- writing hunger au has probably been my best overall experience of 2023 and thats all thanks to yalls lovely comments, bookmarks, kudos, and asks i get in my inbox about it. It's hard to believe this is real sometimes, you guys just blow me away ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Its still several hours from midnight for me, but i wanted to wish everyone a preemptive happy new year anyways :] heres to another year of hunger au, which is so very far from being finished, and i cant wait to keep writing it for yall!!!!! :DD and again, thank you guys so so much for such a crazy and wonderful response to my self indulgent fic, because without it this never would have grown to be what it is today❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Happy New Year everybody!!!! 🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆 See yall in 2024!!! :D

#shouting speaks #hunger au #1200 subs...... over 1k bookmarks...... ALMOST 700 INDIVIDUAL COMMENTS........ #literally ive never had this much reception from a fandom before its mind-blowing #yall are so wonderful and kind about writing im very often insecure about #and the fact that my story resonates with a hugely significant portion of yall never ceases to humble me #i feel so lucky and privileged to be writing this for yall and to be receiving so much kindness in return for it #LIKE IM JUST. NOT TO BE SAPPY BUT I HAVE MET INCREDIBLE PEOPLE I NEVER WOULD HAVE MET IF I HADNT POSTED THIS FIC #and that just BLOWS ME AWAY #ive gained incredibly close friendships and met wonderful people and have had very sweet anons come regularly to my inbox #i read and cherish every single compliment #2023 has been an incredibly hard year for my health and stress. but everyones love for this story makes my heart so full❤️❤️ #so uh. thank u guys 🥺🥺🥺🥺 for being wonderful and supporting this fic so much #and all my other fics!!! stg scarian fandom hits different yall are so incredible to me #blowing u guys kisses /silly #cant wait to finish arc 1 and start on arc 2 in the new year!!! #❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆🎆 #txt

[gojooooo]

sukuna begging yuuji to take him back because he wants to feel his emotions again instead of his own emptiness and nothing but the closeness they once had is enough for him. and when yuuji does, because he feels incomplete as well without sukuna, he spawns into the domain again and walks around the familiar place, hesitantly calling out sukuna’s name to confirm he’s really there. “sukuna…?”

“…kozō” he hears in return, fondness in the tone, and when he looks up at where he remembers the throne to be he sees a face so similar to his staring down at him with a smile, a hand immediately reaching out to slick the pink hair back. after everything they went through there’s no reason to keep dancing around it – they belong to each other.

#cue yuuji starting to cry because his kuna is back #maybe he can keep the arms and mouths but i need yuujikuna back sorry T_T #they bask in the comfort for a while sukuna sitting on his throne with yuuji on his lap and when they hold hands yuuji obviously goes #“hm i almost forgot what having two pinkies was like” and sukuna sighs “stop being dramatic you have three more now” #sukuna kissing every scar on yuuji’s face and affectionately running his thumb on the ones under his eyes because they’re on there again <3 #would sukuna inherit yuuji’s scars i think the answer is no bc he didn’t have them before but i like to think that he can do whatever he #wants. bc people thought he used yuuji’s face just to spite him which is so diabolical of him hehe #or maybe at first he was forced to wear yuuji’s face and couldn’t restore his true self because he was only a few fingers #and if he comes back and yuuji welcomes his presence instead of resisting it/restraining him then he’s free to look as he pleases #i could talk about this all day it’s so fascinating to me #and the fact that gege changes sukuna’s tattoos mask etc all the time does nawt help but it’s fun #my post

[apotelesmaa]

> looking for a tenma siblings relationship study

> ask the op if the study is actually about the tenmas or just treating saki like an accessory to tsukasa

> they don’t understand

> pull out an illustrated diagram explaining the difference

> they laugh and say “it’s a good relationship study sir”

> click the post

> it’s treating saki like an accessory to tsukasa

#project sekai #listen I love tsukasa as I love all the wxs members but i also love saki and cannot stand u people #don’t even get me started on when people fridge saki for contrived tsukasa angst. I’ll kill you. #i could also go on a rant abt how saki is so disrespected in general by pjsk fans #& as sm1 with a (less severe) chronic illness I do not appreciate how her illness is only explored in relation to how tsukasa feels abt it #but I think I would get too frustrated #gripping ur shoulders. read the doll story again. #also if ur talking abt tsukasa’s character & don’t mention saki u have automatically failed #before any of his relationships saki is the most important like it’s not subtext it’s literally just text #did we forget the dazzling event where he finally has a breakthrough in his role bc he talked to saki. #or the main story where he’s like yea saki is literally the reason I pursued acting #or the doll event where he’s despondent bc he thinks saki is mad at him & then when honami comes to his school #his first reaction is to sprint over like WHAT HAPPENED 2 SAKI IS SHE OK (sprints home) #or saki canonically being his no.1 fan. smh. u cannot separate them. and why would u want to. they’re so funny. #+ saki saying he made her hospitalizations more bearable. picking up on his mannerisms. crying during the doll festival bc they had a fight. #the dolls being her favorite things bc of how it symbolized their bond. #the complex tenma sibling mental illness web in general makes me crazy. #saki is like I love u but I wish u wouldn’t worry abt me so much and rely on me more & then tries to hide issues to make him not worry #tsukasa is like I’m always worried abt u and I don’t want to burden u because I feel like I need to always be a rock for u #ough. love them.

[scoliosisgoblin]

he's ruined my life. Peter.

#Jay in this universe is kinda interesting to me? #cause I didn't know how to fit him in at all #at first he's a very nonchalant type of guy. very low energy #but when Peter comes in. he starts opening up more and being able to sleep better and such (idk they'd lay together) #they'd be dating for like a month before Peter takes Jay to his house #and tbh Jay would be more upset with P knocking him out than anything else #the murder? okay. kidnapping? who CARES his head is sore #then again Jay has offed a few people so he wouldn't really care #oh btw that Kid is Mona she's Jay's daughter and Peter loves her #Jay knew of Peter before they met #whenever he'd walk past the diner Jay would catch glimpses of him. always wanted to invite him in but was too nervous #also Lucy Tk and Don are still alive dw #Peter killed a customer at the diner #that whole day moves to later in the relationship #idk why Peter would be Bubbles I just wanted to put him in a dress #okay gn #yb fanart #yb game #yb peter #your boyfriend peter #your boyfriend game #my art #Jacob #Jay #Void #human centipede #dr heiter

[sol-insidious]

“Din Djarin’s identity as a Mandalorian will always be central to his character, and his devotion to his orthodox religion, warrior’s creed, and its chivalrous code of honor is a truly noble one.”

and

“Din Djarin’s devotion to his creed has fundamentally isolated him from love, his role as The Tribe’s breadwinner was as unsustainable as it gave him purpose, and the fierceness of his faith stems from unprocessed trauma and the guilt he feels as an orphan and a foundling. His views on what it means to be a Mandalorian were narrow until he met others who didn’t conform to his own creed, and in this, his status as an voluntary oathbreaker is equally as integral to his character.”

…are both takes that co-exist in my mind.

#Star Wars #the mandalorian #din djarin #character analysis #sol rambles #obligatory this is not meant to be a hot take and nobody has to agree with me on this #2nd obligatory I can interpret this character however I want to within reasonable limits #and as a person from a religious background who now identifies as agnostic #I find this more than reasonable #I honestly love entertaining the idea of Din renouncing his orthodoxy as much as I loved his redemption #Din’s relationship with his faith in S2 was so realistically messy #and it resonated with me greatly #the “is it truly faith if people just get to pick and choose what to adhere to and what to disregard?” #“wtf does that make me?” #people do turn to religion after deep personal loss #and it can be a beautiful thing as much as it can be dangerous #faith can consume you to the point where you can no longer recognize yourself without it #and I saw Din being well on that path if Grogu hadn’t come along #transcending religious identities is such a juicy motif in Star Wars #all starting with Luke declaring he’s a Jedi like his father before him #while also fiercely defying both his masters by refusing to sacrifice Han and Leia in order to complete his training #the training Yoda dictated for him #literally the embodiment of The Old Order #and what’s that saying? #none will be free until the old ways are gone forever #oh my god I am rambling #THANK YOU FOR LISTENING #Sol out

[uncanny-tranny]

Hi! would you by any chance have tips on how to get a binder when your parents refuse to buy you one? ☹️

That's definitely a sensitive and complex answer, and while I might not know of the best option for your unique situation, there are some ways you can go about this.

If it's a foregone conclusion that you cannot convince them of this, what I used to do is DIY my binder. The ways I primarily did this were:

Option One: Wearing a camisole that was one size smaller than I actually was (so, wearing a small instead of a medium, for instance), then folding it up over my chest. As a disclaimer, this may only work well if you are smaller in the chest

Option Two: Layering two sports bras in my size over each other. Some of the DIY tips I found before I got a traditional binder advised to wear one sports bra in your size, then wear another sports bra backwards in a size smaller. I would advise against this for potential safety reasons, but also because (at least personally), it can be ineffective and a waste of resources.

Some people have also had friends or other family members order their binder for them, but this can be risky, depending on your situation. While I don't know the ins and outs of your specific circumstances, risk management is important to me, so I would recommend this if it is a risk that is acceptable to make.

I understand what it's like to not have access to this resource, so what I will do is advise you against:

Binding with ace bandages (I did this before (multiple times, in fact, because of dysphoria), and believe me, not only did it hurt like hell, but it constricted my body so heavily that I may have done long-term harm)

Wearing a DIY binder (or any kind, for that matter) for longer than your body can handle

Doing DIY in such a way that even mimics binding with ace bandages. This means that your binder shouldn't constrict your ribs, breathing, or range of movement

Here are some general good practices that you should use to guide you for any type of binding, whether traditional or DIY:

When you start binding, only do so in very short sessions to begin with. While binding shouldn't outright hurt, it can be a weird transition while your body is getting used to that new sensation

Minimize heavy lifting or exercise while binding. If it is unavoidable, drink plenty of water and take plenty of breaks

Stretch after binding

Don't bind while sick or have inflammation in your lungs or chest

If you DIY, treat your binder like it is a traditional binder. Don't make the mistake of assuming you don't need to listen to your body because you aren't using a "traditional" binding method

Ultimately, listen to your body. If it is telling you that it needs a break, honour that. Your body isn't punishing you, it is trying to keep you (and it) safe, even if it doesn't feel like it

In the end, this isn't perfect. Sometimes, parents do come around, even in their own ways, even if little by little, they come around. When I first came out officially around 2016, I was convinced that my transition would be completely forbade by my family; I concealed a lot of it in the worst instances of this. However, now, I think most of my family has come through their own journey with the understanding of the reality of what and who I am. I tell you this, anon, because I want you to know that this, too , shall pass. You can make it. I know this might be devastating to you, and believe me, I know what that's like. But it won't be forever. These bridges aren't burnt forever, and I hope you can find your happiness and contentment wherever it may be.

#ask #anon #trans #transgender #lgbt #lgbtq #ftm #nonbinary #long post #if anybody has other tips or ideas then feel free to speak up #this is what i did before officially binding and what i have seen other trans people do in lieu of getting a 'real' binder #it did suck when i was coming out because i don't think my family had any idea how *their* hang-ups with... me as a person... affected me #and i think a lot of people get their preconceived notions or headcanons of you stuck in their head to the point that it is Reality #i think part of why my dad started actually *trying* to accept me was him realizing that i was actively hiding things from him... #...like he loves me and our relationship is fine now but i'm not going to pretend like he didn't massively blunder after i came out #and if it turns out that your parents don't ever come around (gd forbid) then you aren't obligated to keep them #you don't choose your parents but you can choose your family i think #i always always hope that parents come around to their child/ren and the reality of who they are but i recognize how messy it all is #anon i wouldn't blame you one bit if you feel many complex or 'negative' emotions toward them #i have many complex feelings about this and that's my own baggage. i hope i haven't put words into your mouth or assumed anything too much #i am sending you best wishes and care. this too shall pass💛

[heyitsphoenixx]

my mother was genuinely trying to make the argument that people do not fundamentally care about each other’s stories and only care in the ways they can relate their stories to their own experiences and therefore no one should ever try to make new plot lines or share their stories bc it’s all been told before and the only point to you sharing your story is for your own therapy bc no one actually cares and humans aren’t actually pack animals but lone wolves and we keep saying we want to change the world and we could so easily overthrow people in power but bc no one actually cares about each other we don’t do it and just give up. I have never been more certain in my whole life that I am right in saying she could not be more wrong. for the love of god please just share an orange with someone

#this is the same woman who will start yelling at the tv if she can follow the plot that’s coming within the first five mins #and has said before she hates people talking to her and doesn’t care what anyone has to say #like of fucking course you think that!!!! but not everyone has the same brain rot as you!!!! #and if you actually think that’s true in all your fifty years of wisdom from living #then be the fucking exception!!!!! care!!!!!! about something or someone!!!!! #jesus fuck!!!!! #I tried to argue but she gave me a look that was like #‘uh huh but I’m so much older than you I’ve Seen The World I Know better’ #like. the length of your life does not make you more correct than me by default #sorry I’m ranting I’m just like. jfc then fucking care!!!!! do something instead of wallowing in self pity #and saying that you’re just ‘noticing the truth’ instead of being a martyr #anyway. #go hug somebody. lay in the grass in the sun