At forty-five years old, there’s one day out of the entire calendar year that Eddie dreads like none other.
It’s not his birthday, surprising as that is, and it’s not tax day either (though only because Steve, the angel that he is, elected to take charge of their insane finances ages ago so Eddie doesn't even think about it).
No, it's parent-teacher conference day at his children's school.
Eddie wants to have a strong word with whoever's idea it was to have every meeting take place in a single day. Maybe that shit works for the freaks with only one kid, but he and Steve have three hellraisers in the elementary school, so for them it usually goes like this:
Kid 1: Please help us figure out why she is inciting riots on the playground
Kid 2: Your child is taking up class time getting into complex moral debates with the teacher’s aid
Kid 3: She's a pleasure to have in class — that being said, does she ever talk?
– all within the span of 45 minutes.
Kind of whiplash-y, in Eddie's opinion.
Steve is totally in his element for that shit though. He’s good at distinguishing between when their kid is the problem (which is……..often) and when it’s a reflection of something bigger, and when that's the case, he gets to tap into the snarky, mean-girl side of him that doesn’t come out all that often anymore..
Steve, to Hazel's teacher: I don’t know what to tell you. Hazel makes all kinds of noise at home. We’ll talk to her, but maybe this also warrants a conversation about what’s going on in the classroom that’s making her feel like she can’t when she’s here.
It's sexy as all hell in Eddie’s opinion, or so he attempts to communicate to his husband the literal second they're out of the school when he tries to shove him bodily into the backseat of their car without extracting his hands from Steve’s back pockets.
Steve, managing to push Eddie off him for half a second: Dude – no fucking chance are we having car sex in the parking lot of our daughters’ elementary school. You’re crazy.
Eddie: *pauses to think about the layout of their town*
Eddie: Bet there’s no one in the lot for the cemetery.
Steve: No.
Steve: We can’t get cursed today. I’ve got shit to do.
Eddie: What about the hiking trails?
Steve:
Steve: Yeah, okay.
721 notes
·
View notes